Tumgik
#and still i persist. in being cheap and not wanting to buy a new one.
mincedpeaches · 5 months
Text
the absolute state of my laptop (functionally a desktop tower now). this is the third laptop I've done this to (every laptop I've owned). I think laptops are the problem
6 notes · View notes
mayfriend · 2 years
Note
19 be a hater pls :^D
Oh, I love being a hater, tysm <3
Idk if they're popular still, but when I was in school everyone kept on talking about Uglies by Scott Westerfield, and I figured huh, must be a pretty good book. NOPE. Go straight to (literary) jail, do not collect £200, do not pass go. I can see what he was trying to achieve with the whole 'beauty isn't important' angle, but it just came across very preachy and seemed to insist that anyone who cares more than 'normal' amount about their appearance is shallow, and doing the dance so many authors do when trying to undercut western patriarchal norms where they end up blaming women for wanting to be pretty in a society where they're point blank told that's what makes them worth something. If you want this done well (even if it's aimed at a slightly younger audience), try Jennifer Murdley's Toad by Bruce Coville.
All The Bright Places by Jennifer Niven. Now, before you get your pitchforks out: I think she again had a pretty good basis for a story idea. Finch and Violet are well defined, original characters and the end point is the strength of the story. But getting to the end... god, this book was a drag. I'm sorry, it was. The pacing was all over the place, it felt like Niven was just making the same point about life bring both difficult and precious over and over and over again in the same way, and didn't trust her readers not to need their hands held the whole way. Also, as a pet peeve, 're-MARKEY-able' is not that clever of a pun that it needs to be thrown about every other page.
My mum bought me The Luminaries by Eleanor Catton quite a few years ago now, and I still haven't been able to make it further than the first chapter. Apparently its very good but I just can't persist through the dull beginning.
I made the critical mistake of buying Nikita Gill's poetry book, Fierce Fairytales & Other Stories to Stir Your Soul, after seeing it for dirt cheap in a charity shop. Dear GOD do I know why it was cheap now. I've recently gotten into the habit of putting my name and the year into new books I start, because I like the thought that in the future someone might see it and have a moment of connection, but legit I want to rub my name out of this one so nobody knows I owned it, however briefly. It's that bad. I vaguely knew her name (mainly through searching for content for webs), and I'd seen a few lines of her poetry online that weren't awful, so I foolishly assumed that in order to publish a book it would need to have, you know, decent fucking content. I cannot actually express in words how bad it is. I couldn't force myself through the latter half - foolishly, I persevered at first because I thought there had to be something in there worth the cost of the paper and the ink, but no. No there is not. And again!! The IDEAS aren't bad!! People are updating fairy tales all the time!! But its just so lazy. There's drawings that I'd charitably say are just above the level of a thirteen year old girl doodling during English, a poem about Cinderella (at least I think it was Cinderella, but I don't hate myself enough to go and double check) that I shit you not referred to a fidget spinner, and the most boring rhymes and brain-dead interpretations of fairy tale characters you've ever seen. It's apparent meant to be 'feminist' fairytales but, deadass, they're just. They're just about Disney characters. Don't believe me?? Exhibits A to G (because it turns out I do hate myself enough to scan for the worst bits so you can all suffer as I suffered):
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
unLIkE moSt MeN oF hIs TImE, hE waS pROGreSsiVE
Like... my good bitch, half of that is written in the most jarring structure, unappealing sentences and awkward wording imaginable, and the other half is Disney™. Oh, the sea-witch is ample bodied, is she? 'Jafar' the Sultan's most trusted advisor was a poor boy come from nothing, huh? Cinderella's mother l i t e r a l l y told her "have courage and be kind", hm? Those motherfuckers will sue, and I kind of hope they do in order to get this refuse off the shelves.
There are more, but I got sidetracked (I couldn't find the fidget spinner line but I swear to you it's in there) and I need to go scream into a pillow or something after reminding myself about that godawful poetry book.
3 notes · View notes
fruitcoops · 3 years
Note
hey, so i was wondering if you could write something like the team is maybe out having dinner together or smth and a girl comes up and asks one of them to pretend to be her boyfriend because her creepy ex won't leave her alone? i know it's cliche, but i really need some cliche in my life
Cliches are cliche for a reason, and I never get tired of writing them. Thanks for the cool prompt! SW credit goes to @lumosinlove
TW for creepy/ persistent ex, past unhealthy relationship
The night had started well—horribly, terribly well, in hindsight. It was the first time Megan had been able to actually go out with her friends instead of being forced to stay home and work overtime because her stupid fucking ‘team leader’ couldn’t get himself together and learn how to use Excel. The night had been warm, the drinks were good, and her new lipstick stayed perfectly intact, just like the package promised. She felt brilliant.
Brilliant until a cloud of cheap cologne named Seth sidled up to her and refused to leave.
“Come on, babe,” he wheedled, trying in vain to put his arm around her waist.
“Don’t call me that,” Megan repeated for the third time. Her pulse was pounding almost as loud as the bass of the music. “Just leave me alone, okay?”
“Let me buy you a drink. Just one, for old time’s sake.”
“No.”
“Babe—”
“I’m not your babe!” she finally snapped.
Seth’s lip twitched. “There’s no need to be a bitch about it.”
“We’re done,” she reminded him. “I’m not your girlfriend and I’m not your babe.”
“We’re not done done,” he scoffed, leaning further into her personal space. Megan kept her eyes firmly on the mouth of her drink; she had spent eighteen months under that creep’s gaze and didn’t want a repeat performance. But Seth had never been a good listener, even when she finally lost her shit and packed her stuff on the spot before storming off to Kelly’s to take her up on that roommate offer.
Clammy fingers trailed over her forearm. “Don’t touch me.”
“Megs,” he laughed, nudging their shoulders together. “C’mon, let me buy you a drink. We can just chat for a bit and catch up.”
She took a fortifying breath in through her nose. Kelly and Laura had been in the bathroom for an eternity. “I don’t want to talk to you.”
“You know you do.”
“I really don’t, Seth, so kindly fuck off.”
“I still have one of your hoodies at my place. You should come by and get it some—”
Megan slammed her glass back down on the counter and began shoving her way through the crowds, making a beeline for the women’s restroom. The line stretched out the door; Kelly and Laura were nowhere in sight. “Excuse me,” she muttered as she shouldered past several drunk college students. The room was spinning, caging her in. Seth was calling her name from far too close behind her. She suddenly found herself wishing she had stayed home to put in even more unpaid overtime, and tears burned her eyes.
It was one thing to run into an ex at the grocery store. It was another to run into Seth.
In her blindness, she bumped into something—someone—and bounced right off their chest. “Shit!”
“Oh, I’m so sorry!” the redhead said, holding his glass out of the way so it didn’t slosh all over her new top. His brows furrowed when he saw her face. “Hey, are you okay?”
Normally, Megan would have said yes. Normally, Megan would have continued to the bathroom to go hide with her friends until it was safe to leave. Normally, Megan would not go to a random bar dude for assistance. She swallowed hard as her name echoed over the music again. “Help.”
Bar Dude glanced over her shoulder and his lips pressed together in a thin line. “Yankees cap?”
“Yeah.”
“My friends and I are at the corner table, under the moon sign—”
Megan was moving before he even finished his sentence. Anything was better than putting up with more of Seth’s underhanded comments and dismissal of every word that came out of her mouth. She could handle getting hit on for a couple minutes if it meant he left her alone.
The corner table was packed tight with a group of guys that were just as built as Bar Dude, laughing among themselves with the kind of ease that only came with long-standing friendship. “Heya, Harzy, where you been?” a blond called with a playful grin.
Harzy’s hand was gentle on her elbow as he ushered her into the booth, leaving plenty of space between them before sitting down. The blond’s smile turned to confusion. “Guys, this is…”
“Megan,” she supplied. Thankfully, the quaver in her whole body did not translate to her voice.
“This is Megan, she’s going to be chilling with us for a bit,” Harzy finished. He turned to her and held out a hand, which she shook. “Finn O’Hara.”
“Nice to meet you.”
The blond lowered his voice slightly. “Are you alright?”
She tried for a reassuring smile. “I will be, just needed a—”
“Megan!” Motherfucker. Seth appeared from the crowd covered in sweat—his stupid hat was askew, but he pasted on a sleezy smile when he saw her. “Hey, what happened? You dipped in the middle of our conversation.”
Fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you— “Actually, I wanted to introduce you to someone,” she said with false cheer. Now or never. In one smooth motion, she slid over and planted herself on Finn O’Hara’s lap. “Seth, this is Finn, my boyfriend.”
Seth blinked. “What?”
“Her boyfriend,” Finn said. One arm wound loosely around her waist. “And you are…?”
“That’s my ex,” she answered for him. In her periphery, several of Finn’s jacked-as-hell friends went tense. Something like adrenaline was pumping through her veins. “Seth.”
Finn held his hand out. Seth didn’t take it. “Nice to meet you, man. Did you want to ask something?”
“Yeah, actually.” His pale eyes slipped back over to her; Megan hoped her immediate urge to hurl didn’t show on her face. “Megs, you left a hoodie at my place. You should come pick it up sometime.”
“That’s okay,” she said, leaning her temple against the top of Finn’s head. “You can donate it, I don’t mind.”
His eyes flickered between them. “No, really, it was one of your favorites—”
“She said no,” Finn interrupted in that same calm tone. “But the music’s pretty loud, so I guess you didn’t hear. We can talk more outside if you’d like.”
Seth might have been an asshole, a creep, and an all-around sleezeball, but at least he wasn’t completely stupid. “Nah, that’s cool,” he said after a moment, though his gaze still bored into Megan. She didn’t look away.
Finn gave her arm a pat. “Great. Have a good night, Sam.”
“Seth.”
“Fuck off,” the tall brunet with shoulders like an ox said in a thick Russian accent. Seth took one look at him before vanishing back into the crowd.
“Holy shit,” Finn muttered as she sat back down in the booth. All the pure jock confidence had left him; only concern remained. “Has he been doing that all night?”
“I blocked him on everything,” she said, toying with her rings. The shivery feeling had returned with a vengeance and she shook her head. “It’s been a month since we broke up. I should have known better than to come here.”
“Non,” a shorter man in a backwards cap said firmly. “He should have listened to you.”
The clog in her throat grew larger and she closed her eyes with a shaky exhale. She was so sick of seeing him around; so tired of feeling queasy whenever she remembered how easily she let him break down her self-esteem. “I just wanted to go out with my friends.”
“We can go find them,” the blond said gently. “Or you can hang with us for a bit. Whatever makes you comfortable.”
“What are you guys, buff therapists?” she laughed wetly. God, I hope my eyeliner isn’t ruined. It took fifteen fucking minutes to get that wing.
“Hockey players.”
She paused, looking up at last. They did seem a little familiar, but she had never been a sports person… “Like the ones who won the Cup last year?”
Finn’s smile turned smug. “The very same.”
“Do you make a habit of swooping in to save women from creeps between games or something?”
“Nah, Harzy’s just a knight in shining armor.” The blond winked at him across the table. Oh, Megan thought. Oh, that makes a lot more sense. “I’m Leo, and this is Logan. Over here we’ve got Kuny and Nado, Talker, Pots, Loops, and the captain.”
“None of those are our real names,” ‘Loops’ laughed.
Leo shrugged. “Close enough.”
“Oh my god,” the dark-haired man with glasses muttered. “I’m James Potter, and I’m very glad you’re okay. Are you sure you don’t want us to find your friends?”
“They’ll find me,” Megan said. Lauren would lose her mind when she found Megan sitting with the sports team she idolized above all else, and that was something she wasn’t about to miss. Besides, there was no way she was about to stand in a long-ass line when she could sit down and recover instead. The Lions might have been able to bench-press her without breaking a sweat, but they felt safe. Trustworthy. And their ability to scare off a persistent ex in under a minute? Well, Megan didn’t feel too bad about taking advantage of that particular perk.
250 notes · View notes
tsukishumai · 3 years
Text
Away Games - MSBY Black Jackals
A/N: WOW it feels so so long since i’ve done an HC i kinda feel like i forgot how to :( ahhh im sorry this one sucks LOL but im feeling a bit burned out & this brought me a lil comfort so i hope it brings some for u too :)
Tumblr media
Bokuto
Shamelessly facetiming you every possible second.
He’s not terribly upset to be away, to be honest, because he’s doing what he loves, but a huge part of him still misses you.
So he settles for the next best thing
And it doesn’t matter what you’re doing; if you’re at work, if you’re out shopping, if you’re sitting on the toilet – Bokuto will blow up your phone until you answer.
“What took you so long to answer?” “Kou, I was on the toilet.” “No way! Me too! Soulmates <3”
He’s always telling you stories about the dumb things that go on during practice, he complains about how his shoulder’s been feeling a little tense lately, and the food at the hotel reminds of the food they used to serve at Fukurodani
But he always wants to hear about your day too. He asks if your coworker is still being a jerk, he wonders if you managed to try the new drink at the café you mentioned the other day, and he reminds you that he’s coming back in a couple days, so make sure you remember to pick him up from the airport!
When he can’t facetime, he’s sending you videos; videos of the guys goofing off at practice, videos of him working out, videos of behind the scene interviews.
He’s sad you don’t get to be there with him but he does everything he can to share his experiences with you anyway
Bokuto even started his own personal tradition during every away game
If MSBY wins, he sends flowers to your door step.
If MSBY loses, he still sends you flowers anyway because he just wants you to know that he’s thinking of you always
Tumblr media
Atsumu
He doesn’t want to admit it, but Atsumu goes into emo mode whenever he’s away.
When you ask him how he’s doing, he’ll always tell you that he’s fine
But the pictures Bokuto and Hinata sent you of Atsumu crying into his protein shake tell you a different story.
You try to make him feel better by sending him tiktoks and memes, and it works for a second, until he sees a mug in the tiktok that looks JUST like the mug you got for him when you first started dating, and now all he’s thinking about is how he wants go back home and drink his coffee from that mug, not the cheap paper ones from his hotel room and god, can the days go by any slower?
talk about dramatic
But you can never stand to see Atsumu so down
And you don’t do this every single time, but when MSBY loses and Sakusa was the one to text you a video of Atsumu staring longingly out his hotel window, you asked him what city their next game was going to be in, and bought yourself a plane ticket there.
You don’t want to spoil Atsumu like this. You really don’t, and you usually won’t
But when you walk into the gym, Atsumu’s eyes land on you, and his entire face lights up, his whole demeanor changes, he’s standing a little taller, his smile a little wider, and all of a sudden, the whole room just felt so much brighter.
He’s in the middle of a pre-game interview, and all of a sudden his words trail off and the interviewer’s like “Miya-san? You were saying?”
But he can’t wait any more, so he’ll excuse himself, and all cameras are on him when he scoops you up from the floor and plant kisses all over your face.
You don’t always spoil Atsumu like this, but when he points at you after scoring his third service ace in a row, you know you’ve done a good thing
Tumblr media
Sakusa
grumpycat.jpg
Sakusa doesn’t tell you he misses you because he doesn’t really think he does? It’s normal for professional athletes to spend time away from their s/o, right? This was to be expected, Sakusa knew you guys would have to spend some time apart, he was prepared for this.
Still, irritation floods through him when he wakes up to a shrill alarm instead of your sweet voice. 
He snaps at Bokuto when he has to eat the team’s provided lunch, and not the lunch you make and pack for him.
He’s particularly cranky when his uniform was wrinkled on game day, and you weren’t there with your emergency Wrinkle-Release Spray
He doesn’t directly say ‘I miss you’ but you hear it in his words anyway.
When he complains about the hotel’s mattress and how it’s “nothing compared to our bed at home” you know that he feels your absence.
“The food here makes me want to gag, all I want is your tempura”
“My skin feels so raw from the scratchy towels; the towels you bought us feel much softer.”
“Babe, how’d you manage to make all my stuff fit in my luggage? I can’t pack it the way you do.”
Sakusa most likely won’t blow up your phone, but he always makes sure to send you a good morning and good night text
He doesn’t buy you flowers, but when he gets home, he hands you a large bag without saying anything.
“What’s all this?” you grunt, cause damn that bag was heavy.
But Sakusa was shrugged. “Souvenirs. I thought you’d like them.”
And you squeal in excitement, pulling him to sit down on the same couch that he’s been thinking of for weeks, a smile on his face as he watches you sift through all the little knick knacks and presents that reminded him of you.
Tumblr media
Hinata
EXCITED BOY
He’s constantly texting you and checking in, even when he doesn’t have to
☀️Shoyo☀️(6:58am): We just got to the gym where they’re letting us practice!
☀️Shoyo☀️(7:01am): I’m about to go into the locker room and change now
☀️Shoyo☀️(7:05am): Whoops I think I made the wrong turn.
☀️Shoyo☀️(7:07am): Whoa, this gym is pretty big; I wonder what other sports they could use it for?
☀️Shoyo☀️(7:15am): Wait, I can’t find my way back
☀️Shoyo☀️(7:30am): Babe, help
He doesn’t facetime you like Bokuto, but he is blowing up your phone just the same.
He misses you of course, that’s a given, but to be honest he mostly does it because he doesn’t want YOU to miss HIM.
Maybe that’s the wrong way to put it; he wants you to miss him but he doesn’t want to ever make you feel lonely.
He knows that feeling so well :( he never wants to be the cause of your loneliness. And if he had to pick between being a persistent man or an aloof man, then Hinata will choose persistence five hundred times over.
Hinata has an incredible talent of being able to make you smile and laugh, even if it’s simply through a screen, from hundreds of miles away.
Even though his career and ever-changing schedule can make things a little extra challenging, when you see him play on TV, watch as the crowd cheers and hollers for Hinata, listen to the way the commentators describe his insane plays, and you realize you don’t mind having to share Hinata with the world
Because when he stares directly into the camera and smiling while he holds both hands over his heart, you know this gesture was meant only for you.
577 notes · View notes
egcdeath · 3 years
Text
checkmate
Tumblr media
summary: you’ve always refused to lose, and love was no exception. (gone girl-ish au)
pairing(s): ransom drysdale x dark!reader, a special mystery guest ;) 
word count: 3.7k
warnings: 18+ because of heavy themes! faked death, framing of crimes, manipulation, alluding to sex, alluding to cheating, terrible relationship dynamic, very loose usage of the word crazy/psychotic, implied mention of self harm, brief choking & slapping (in a non sexual way lol), pregnancy trapping (idk if thats the right term), the reader is a very bad human being, overuse of italics  *please let me know if i’m missing any warnings!
author’s note: this is my 2nd submission for @stargazingfangirl18’s 5k soft dark challenge, i decided to make the reader dark >:) but ransom is also not a good person. I used these prompts: “I’ve waited a long time for this, sweetheart.” & The town golden *girl isn’t as sweet as everyone thinks.
this is definitely the most unhinged thing i’ve ever written, but blame @literate-lamb for making me write this because when i pitched this to her and said that i’d probably never write it, she enabled me. 
okay that's enough from me. join my taglist if you want :D
“I know women whose entire personas are woven from a benign mediocrity. Their lives are a list of shortcomings: the unappreciative boyfriend, the extra ten pounds, the dismissive boss, the conniving sister, the straying husband. I've always hovered above their stories, nodding in sympathy and thinking how foolish they are, these women, to let these things happen, how undisciplined. And now to be one of them! One of the women with the endless stories that make people nod sympathetically and think: Poor dumb bitch.” Gillian Flynn, Gone Girl
Your whole life, you’d considered yourself a competitive person. Constantly overcompensating for one thing or another, whether it was the chronic desire to achieve perfection that had been installed in you since you were a little girl, or your persistent internalized sense of inadequacy. You realized early on that it was much better for you to win than for you to lose, no matter the physical, emotional, or mental cost of the prize of perfection.
For the most part, this mindset worked out for you. You graduated as Valedictorian from your high school, neared the top of your graduating class at Harvard. God knew you earned it, all those tears you shed into overpriced textbooks, all the popping of unprescribed Adderall, and robbing yourself of the parties and social events that the rest of your peers gladly indulged in. 
You were just different, which was why you gained a job nearly immediately after your exit from school, quickly climbing to the top at the Blood Like Wine publishing company after only a few years of being there. 
And one night, at the party celebrating the release of A Thousand Knives when you laid your eyes on Hugh Ransom Drysdale, the grandson of your boss, you knew that you needed to have him. Rich, hot, a bit of an asshole. You deserved to finally complete your image, and that socialite flavored eye candy seemed to fit the part perfectly. Luckily for you, he was desperate. It only took a few tugs on your dress’ V-line, and a number of knowing smirks to find yourself being finger-banged in his family manor’s bathroom.
From there, you wormed your way into his life. Leaving belongings at his place as an excuse to come back, and offering booty calls in the middle of the night. Ransom must’ve been much more desperate than you originally thought, as it really only seemed to take one night of stroking his hair while he vented about his family to make him want to be with you. Men with mommy issues were always so easy. 
Except, he wasn’t that easy. The longer you got to know Ransom, the more fucked up you realized he really was. He had no boundaries at all, became jealous and enraged at the drop of a pin, and occasionally told you things that made the hairs on your arms rise. 
This of course all came to a head after the night of Harlan’s 85th birthday party. When the news broke of his tragic death, you’d immediately known it was the works of your Hugh. If your intuition wasn’t enough, his confession in the shower, where he’d demanded you take off your clothes to display that you were without a bug, certainly was. 
You were completely devastated. The man that you’d invested so much into for years had thrown both his and your reputations down the drain in just a matter of hours. Of course, you felt bad for Harlan too. He was a good guy (when he wasn’t instigating a family fight).
Still, you showed up during the funeral in your best mourning clothes and dawning your biggest crocodile tears. You rubbed Linda’s back while she mourned the loss of her father, and the new truth about her husband. You played dumb when interrogated by some Southern private investigator, even giving Ransom an airtight alibi. You testified on his behalf in court with enough conviction to grant you an Emmy. 
You’d gotten so far, devoted so much energy into him, that you simply refused to lose now. 
To your friends, you’d seemed to lead a near perfect life. Dream job, dreamy boyfriend, dream bank account, but it wasn’t enough. You wanted more, you just didn’t know what. 
It dawned on you while sipping mimosas at the country club, Ransom playing tennis with his friends just a few yards away from you while Danielle showed off her brand new engagement ring, a .59 Carat Asscher Diamond, that if you heard her speak of again, would probably make you lose your shit.
You zoned out as she droned on and on about the shape, and how Matt proposed to her in their own private room in one of the most exclusive Parisian restaurants, instead focusing on how you could find yourself in the same position as that airhead next to you. In all honesty, you couldn’t stand the idea that someone was doing better than you, let alone someone in your own social circle. Dani got all the bragging rights of being engaged to the heir of some tech giant, being the first in your friend group to get eloped, and worst of all, Matt wasn’t even making her sign a prenup. 
You blankly watched Ransom from afar, taking occasional sips from your sweet drink, while you thought of how you deserved all of that and more, and you were going to get it one way or another. 
——
It didn’t take much to come up with something, your first and most obvious plan being to simply ask Ransom when he was going to propose to you. Of course, this wasn’t the first time you’d tried to approach him about this subject, you just wondered if maybe this time things would be different.
Panting heavily after a rather rough night in bed, you rolled off of your boyfriend’s chest and gave him a messy, yet sincere kiss. You knew your man well, and if there was any time to pop the question, it was in his post-nut haze.
“Baby,” you said breathily, “I wanna ask you something.”
“Shoot,” he responded casually, glancing over at you. 
“When’re you gonna propose to me?” you hummed.
Ransom groaned and shook his head, rolling his eyes, “this is about Matt and Dani, huh?” he tutted, then extended a hand out to your warm cheeks so he could gently caress one with his thumb. “Thought we agreed marriage is just a piece of paper and it’s stupid.”
You huffed in response.
Of fucking course.
“I never said that,” you muttered, setting a hand on his broad chest. “Besides, it’ll be good if you get pissed and decide to like, kill your dad or something. Y’know, spouses don’t have to testify against each other in court.”
Ransom chuckled as if this whole thing was funny, like your feelings were some kind of sick joke to him. “You know my lawyers, babe. They could prove that bees don’t make honey. That bears don’t shit in the forest. I appreciate your attempt, though. This has been some really nice pillow talk.” 
“Whatever,” you muttered, pinching his nipple in retaliation before turning your back to him and yanking the blanket onto your side. 
You weren’t sure why you were so surprised that he was being stubborn, most of the time you felt like you were pulling teeth from the man. But that’s why you had a backup plan! You always had a backup plan. That’s what separated you from your boyfriend. Where Ransom was extemporized and impulsive, you were calculating and prudent. 
Although you devised your plan that very afternoon while watching your partner backhand small green balls, you were going to need some time to get everything in order, to prove Murphy and his stupid law wrong in making sure that everything that could go wrong wouldn’t. 
After all, love was a game. And you sure as hell weren’t losing to Hugh Drysdale. 
——
You sacrificed too much to have your plans ruined by some trust fund baby with impulsivity issues. You deserved your dream marriage, the stability you wished you had as a child. You wanted the white picket fence, and everything that came along with it. Your desire to be the best, to be perfect was what drove you to poke holes in every condom in the box, what led you to draw liters of your own blood in hopes of staging a fake crime scene, to buy a cheap getaway car and burner phone off of Craigslist, and reach out to a high school boyfriend who you knew was in a position as desperate as you. 
You planted seeds of doubt in your friends throughout the following weeks, feeding them lies about Ransom’s behavior, how you were afraid of telling him that you did in fact see two faint red lines on that damn plastic stick– only half of the statement truly being false–, telling them that he was behaving erratically lately.
It all was going without a hitch. Ransom didn’t seem to notice anything was off, despite your frequent visits to the bathroom and newfound affinity for true crime documentaries. 
You almost felt guilty, knowing the world of pain you were about to throw the man into. Granted, he deserved the pain. You were in a relationship with a genuinely terrible person, and that person had made a conscious effort not to commit to you. You tried to make this easy for him, give him a chance to say a few words to you and slide a ring on your finger, but no, he always seemed to take the hard route.
You slept like a baby the night before you were setting your plan in action. You made sure to uphold the facade of everything being fine, making Ransom a nice breakfast before sending him halfway across town to the hardware store with an oddly incriminating list.
Once he was out of the house, you hurried off to the fridge in the garage where you’d been keeping a small stash of your own blood. It wasn’t pretty, but it had to be done. You poured the blood throughout the kitchen, splattering bits of it on the counters and cupboards. You poorly cleaned the mess, just as he would.
You put your next move in motion, falsifying a home invasion. You tossed over a table and some chairs, throwing books and photos onto the floor, but left some aspects slightly untouched, like an upright picture frame to give yet another hint that things were not exactly what they appeared. 
You left a tiny blue post-it note on the nightstand of Ransom’s side of the bed, a quick and simple doodle of a ring along with the first initial of your name inked onto the tiny piece of paper. 
With that, you were off. Technically missing, soon-to-be presumed dead.
----
 The days following your disappearance had gone even better than you’d initially planned. Local news coverage had been all over you, search and rescue groups were assiduously looking for you, your parents had opened a tip line, and begged for you to get home safe on news segments. But the best part of it all was that Ransom had been briefly found himself in police custody, only to be released shortly thereafter. His past of an accused murder quickly made your disappearance even more of a national story, and you watched the whole thing unravel from the safety and comfort of your high school boyfriend, Andy Barber’s Newton home. 
Of course, you fed him the same lies you’d given to your friends, and seeing the rather lonely position he was in, he gladly let you stay with him. You were absolutely having a hay-day with it all, dedicating hours of your day to watching Ransom slowly unravel. Maybe it was a bit sadistic of you to enjoy torturing your partner so much, but he needed to learn his lesson. You deserved better. You needed Ransom to rise up to your level, allowing you to finally complete your image. To let you two appear to be the perfect couple. Really, this was all on him.
Andy, for the most part, had been a good host. He was gone for the majority of the day, dedicating himself to his work while you lounged around on his dangerously cozy couch. Around two weeks into your stay, you were sharing a box of pizza in the living room with your old lover when something interesting on the television caught your eye.
Ransom, broadcasted on CBS, being interviewed on your disappearance. 
You watched with wide eyes as Ransom begged for your return on national television. It was one thing seeing your mother plead for you to come back, the same woman who had installed such toxic behavior in you sob for your return, but Ransom. You’d never loved him more than in that moment.
“Hugh, if you could tell Y/N one thing, what would it be?” the interviewer asked.
Ransom turned, looking straight at the camera, directly into your soul, “Y/N, I love you so much. More than you’ll ever know. I need you to come back safely, to see you, to hold you again. I’d give anything in the world for that right now,” he looked down, a tear falling down his cheek. “I can’t live without you in my life, I-”
His sentence was cut off by Andy grabbing the remote, and turning off the TV. You turned your head and frowned deeply at him.
“Why’d you do that?” you asked with a bit of a pout.
“I just couldn’t stand listening to him talk about you like he hasn’t treated you like shit for the past few years. C’mon, let’s get ready for bed.”
Your blood boiled. Andy was once a means to an end, but now he was interfering. He was clearly much too selfish to see that you and Ransom were quite obviously soulmates. A match made in hell. 
You followed him to bed regardless, curling up on what had been your side of the bed for the past few days, and staring at the wall until Andy’s breaths moved from a soft and rhythmic pattern to loud snores. God, those snores were obnoxious. 
You slipped out of bed and to his dresser, grabbing two soft ties from the drawer, and daintily tying his wrists to each side of the bedpost.
“What‘re you doing?” he mumbled, instinctively yanking both of his wrists as he awoke.
“I’m going back home,” you whispered.
“You can’t be serious,” Andy huffed, tugging on the restraint attached to the headboard.
You shook your head, “I am.”
“I should’ve known. Why would you do something like this? Do you know how much trouble you’ll be in with the law?”
“Do you know how much trouble you’ll be in when the world finds out that you kidnapped me?” you retorted.
This threat seemed to wake him up right away, “what about this was kidnapping? I gave you a nice home, fed you, I didn’t even make a pass at you. I didn’t do shit to you,” he hissed. “You think I can’t prove that? I’m a lawyer, for god's sake!”
You nearly laughed, “Okay, Andy,” you paused for a moment, “As a lawyer, who do you think everyone’ll believe? Someone who the world was on a wild goose chase for in the last two weeks? Or the man with a family history of violence? Must I remind you that your father and your son have killed people?”
Andy shook his head, face pinched in sorrow at the mention of his deceased son, clearly a low blow. “You’re insane,” he muttered.
“Swear to god that you won’t tell a soul what happened here,” you leaned over him, getting right in his face. “Or I promise, Andrew Barber, I will ruin you. You’ll spend the rest of your life behind bars, or disbarred, or whatever the hell I decide to do with you. So keep your goddamn lips shut.” 
You pulled away and he solemnly nodded, not bothering to put up a fight. You loosened the fabric around his left wrist and walked out of the room. You picked up the keys to Andy’s Audi on your way out, checking the time as you adjusted the driver's seat. 
9:45 PM. Fatherhood really changed the man.
You pushed that thought aside and began your drive home, which turned out to be a surprisingly short trip. When you pulled up in front of your home, you were met with a slew of reporters outside of the house, along with a police car that seemed to be permanently camped there.
As you slowly got out of the car, a gasp, followed by a loud silence fell across the crowd. You limped for dramatic effect up the driveway as cameras followed you, and glanced back at them pathetically. From your peripheral view, you noticed the officers get out of their vehicle.
You finally got to your door, ringing the doorbell and waiting. You blinked harshly a few times, conjuring up the tears you needed to really make a spectacle of the event. After a few minutes, Ransom opened the door, eyes widening as he looked at you. He stepped out, and you wrapped him in as big of a hug as you could manage, genuinely missing his embrace. It was possible that you even let out a few real tears in the moment.
Your emotional embrace was interrupted by the man you recognized as Lieutenant Elliott, the same officer who’d been assigned to Harlan’s case. 
“Ma’am,” he began, only to be shut down by you. 
“Please, just let me be with my boyfriend,” you pleaded, crocodile tears streaming down your face as you spoke with the officer. You still needed time to get your story straight.
“Just give us the night, Lieutenant. We’ll come in first thing tomorrow morning,” Ransom added, furrowing his brows at the officer that he’d come into contact with far too many times. 
He looked to his partner, who shrugged, then to you, “enjoy your night.”
Cameras flashed around you as civilians, journalists, and newscasters alike attempted to catch your attention. You grabbed Ransom’s hand and dramatically pulled him inside, insincerely attempting to hide your face by ducking and covering half of your face with your arm. 
As soon as you were in the privacy of your own home, Ransom threw you against a wall. 
“Why. The fuck. Would you pull a stunt like that,” he hissed through gritted teeth, eyes wild, and a hand around your throat. 
You whimpered as he tightened his grip, rage clearly flowing through his system uncontrollably.
“Do you know what you did to me? You almost had me thrown in fucking jail. Do you understand that?”
You nodded weakly, “Ran,” you whispered, “the baby,” you glanced down at your stomach.
He paused, dropping his grip on your neck and staring at you in awe, “no…” 
You nodded again. 
“How…? You told me you were on the pill… You- you made me use protection…”
“Surprise?” you said weakly. 
“You’re a psychotic bitch.”
“I’m your psychotic bitch. And no child of mine will be born out of wedlock,” you taunted. 
“That’s what this is about?” Ransom laughed manically. “You did this all because I won’t fucking marry you?”
You didn’t even have to respond.
“I should send you to the loony bin right fucking now.”
“What happened to all those things you said to me on TV?”
“You’re fucking delusional. I can’t do this.”
“Yes, you can. And you will. I’ve had to put up with you and your stupid little antics for way too long. How do you think I felt when you killed your own grandfather?”
Ransom scoffed, throwing his hands up in exasperation, “you are so fucked up.”
“I’m the fucked up one? You killed your own blood in cold blood! You’re unhinged!” 
“You faked your own death for attention, and got pregnant while doing it! Is that baby even mine?”
“The fuck are you trying to say, Hugh?”
“I asked if it’s even mine.”
“Really. You’re accusing me of cheating on you. That’s rich considering Mia, Layla, and whoever the fuck else. You’re being ridiculous.”
“I’m being ridiculous? You couldn’t have a normal adult conversation with me!”
“Are you kidding me? I asked you time after time to marry me and it was always some bullshit excuse!” you wagged a finger in his face as you spoke. “Oh, commitment scares me, oh, marriage is just a piece of paper, oh-“ you mocked his voice in a deeper tone before you were cut off by the sting of his hand against your cheek.
“Can you shut the hell up?” he growled at you as you held your own cheek, before you reached out and slapped him back, “I can’t believe that I’m stuck with such a deranged bitch for the rest of my life.”
“Maybe work on your vows a little, dear. I don’t think that those words are as charming to me as they’d be to the rest of our family and friends.”
“You can’t be serious,” he groaned.
“But I am,” you hummed, rubbing your cheek softly once again. “Look at how fast your life fell apart without me here. How quickly the public turned on you. Imagine how upset they’d be if you left me. I love you, Ran. I really do. You and I are perfect for each other, can’t you see that now?”
Ransom took a step away from you, pacing slowly in front of you. He ran a stressed hand through his hair, and took a long and drawn out breath, clearly at a loss for words.
“So when should we have the wedding? I’ve always wanted a Spring wedding, and I know it’s a little short notice, but I don’t want to be showing too much in my wedding dress,” you grabbed Ransom’s bicep gently, as if you were just having a regular old day with him, as if you hadn’t been choked and slapped moments ago. “But we can make it work. We always make it work, right?”
Your now fiancé stared vacantly at the wall ahead of him, giving you a slow, empty nod of agreement. 
“It’s settled then,” you smirked. “I’ll start looking at venues. You find me a nice ring, okay Honey? One that puts all those other bitches’ rings to shame,” you sighed pleasantly to yourself, “I’ve waited a long time for this, sweetheart.”
You pressed a soft kiss to his cheek before hurrying up the stairs and into your bedroom. You heard a distant shriek of  “fuck,” from Ransom, but you truly could not care less. 
You hopped into bed, grabbing your laptop from its charger and promptly opening it. You couldn’t help but to smile at your own reflection on the empty black screen. This wasn’t how you imagined your engagement, but you did the impossible. You tied yourself down to Hugh Ransom Drysdale, he went down kicking in screaming, and you were likely in for a lifetime of cheating and resentment, but you did it nonetheless. 
You finally won.  
275 notes · View notes
Text
Love Cuts Deep
Chapter 2- Together We Stay
Bucky Barnes x (f)reader Series Rewrite (Civil War, Infinity War/Endgame, TFATWS) 
Summary: After learning that you’re on a national watchlist from the exposure of Hydra, and seeking the only other person who’s lived a life like you have. Now you and Bucky adjust to being around one another in Romania.
Warning: big fluff, SMUT, more fluff i promised
Masterlist
Tumblr media
5 weeks.
That’s how long it’s been since you’ve been allowed to stay with Bucky in his little one bedroom apartment in Bucharest, Romania. Fortunately for you, he’s kind enough to let you take the shit excuse for a bed while he claims the hardwood floor on the opposite side of the room, just about every single night. That’s just how its been, through true at it is, either one of you could handle sleeping on stone, but this bed is admittedly nicer, and you’ve got someplace to stay for the time being.
And Bucky.
He’s a quiet type for sure, keeps to himself, only really speaks when spoken to or when asking if you want something from the marketplace. But you’ve begun to witness first hand how he’s kind, funny in his own right, and respectful of your space and body within the time that you’ve had the chance to really know him. Which is more then most could say while you’ve been on the run in the past, from authorities and the Winter Soldier alike. 
Most days the two of you wander the various streets of this large pleasant bustling city, watching for any signs of danger or an odd person out of place as you go about your day. Other times the two of you would go hiking to the outskirts of Bucharest where no one could be of a bother, there, the two of you would spar each other for hours. Gotta keep alert, he’d always say. 
When he did speak.
But the nights when the city was sleepy with brightly beaming stars blanketing overhead, now those became your absolute favorite. You and your new found companion would spend those hours playing cards against one another, lasting deep into the wee hours of the morning when the sun was just barely rising into the sky.
Although as of late, Bucky has begun to speak more and more to you, even just yesterday when you shit talked some cheap vendor who was being very persistent as he wanted you to buy his ugly scarves, Bucky cracked a smile. Maybe even stifled a laugh. If you weren’t so invested in messing with the annoying little man, you would have seen the way Bucky’s eyes trailed adoringly over your mischievous face.
Maybe you would have seen how the corners of his eyes crinkled with amusement as you flipped the guy off and practically swaggered away like the coolest person he’s ever met. Too bad you didn’t, but you would have loved to have seen it. Even for just a moment.
That’s what it’s been like recently between the two of you, small fleeting glances here and there, friendly nudges when you’re walking out in the park, and more time spent laying side by side with one another after an excessively intense workout session. Granted you’re sprawled out in the dirt and grass, sweaty and appearing like you just ran through a dust storm, but next to Bucky, things feel pleasantly different.
It’s strange, you can’t remember the last time you’ve actually felt comfortable around anyone since your mother, but that was a very long time ago. And she’s dead, and you’re not.
Unlocking the apartment door, you quickly turn the faded golden knob and walk into the dull sunlit room. The windows are covered in thin faded newspapers for the dying sunlight to struggle through, as this appears to be the only real source of efficient lightning since all lights are currently turned off. Though you can see well enough due to your body’s enhanced vision, small perks of the serums mutation that made you.
It’s almost 7pm on this cool breezy evening as you walk into Bucky’s apartment, shutting the door just as swiftly; letting your black cotton trench coat slip gracefully from off of your shoulders, you kick your boots off next before walking over to the kitchen and setting the coat on the back of the old wooden chair.
A tired sigh escapes from your parted lips as a sudden smirk begins to break out upon your sleepy face, “James.” You muse with a genuine smile as you turn to face your mattress for a bed, and the man sitting on it, “Nice to be greeted when I come back.”
He hands you an apologetic look before swiftly rising to his feet, “Just making sure you’re paying attention.” He quips with the flash of a grin, “You passed.”
“Alright smartass I brought you a sub from that little coffee place.” His cheeks dust pink as you hand him the sandwich from out of your bag, God he loves your accent, Bucky hands you a pursed lipped grin as you wink, “Just how you like it, old wet lettuce, a chunk of rat, and a moldy bun. Your favorite.”
He lets out a breathy snort as you practically swagger over to the fridge, opening it up to grab two beers before finding yourself a chair right across from him. “Here.” He quickly accepts your thoughtfully brewed offer of friendship, “Drink up Barnes it’s a new day tomorrow and we’re still kicking.”
He watches as you laugh before popping open the glass and taking a hearty chug, a small yet joyous grin pulling at the corner of your lips after you set it down again.
“To another day.” States Bucky before doing just the same.
Soon enough the two of you find yourselves seated comfortably on opposite sides of the old mattress with cards in each of your hands. A solid look of determination and fake suspicion on either of your faces as you stare each other down.
“Got any fives?” Asks Bucky with a raised brow as you simply roll your eyes, then biting your lip while you watch as he tucks a stray tuff of dark hair behind his ear.
“Fuck you.” Slips from your mouth as he bursts with the sweet sounds of laughter, his cards fall from his hands as you throw yours at his stupidly attractive yet winning face. Dammit you could have won.
“I can’t help that you’re a sore loser Y/N, I’m just that good.” Brags Bucky as you throw him a deadly glare.
“Whatever. It’s nearly 4am I’m off my game tonight.” You retort, shrugging as a yawn approaches right on cue.
Bucky glances at the wall clock before looking back at you, an tinge of disappointment lacing his soft voice, “Right. I’ll just head over to my spot then...”
Rolling your eyes yet again, you gently slap his folded thigh before he can attempt at leaving, “Awh come on Buck, you’re back has got to be shit by now. Let me sleep there tonight okay, it’s only fair.”
“Y/N I’m fine, seriously.” Admits Bucky kindly as he shows the flash of a smile, “Don’t worry about me. I’m good.”
Your teeth press firmly against your bottom lip as you think of how to thwart his stubborn mind, soon you look down to pick up some cards, “No, we gotta take turns. And don’t say “I’m good” because if you go over there I will have no choice but to fight you.” Words wrapped in sarcasm, you lay it on him, yet your face appears to flash with something different. 
“Fight me? You’d fight me for the shitty hard wooden floor?” Asks Bucky in bewilderment as you simply nod, agreeing to your last stated truth.
“See! You even admit it’s shitty.” You exclaim with a humored laugh while shaking the cards in his beautiful face. Y/N don’t you dare think about it, stop flirting idiot.
“Well...yeah.” Mutters Bucky as you both suddenly sit in an awkward silence, nothing heard except for the wind as it rattles against the old windowpane. You both are breathing a tad more heavily from the teasing argument a couple seconds ago, but now, some unseen yet intrusively felt emotion shifts the air. Is this what you think it is, or does your underlying feelings for him just like fucking with your better intuition.
Something is afoot, however your mind still doubts it. God he can be so hard to read sometimes.
Bucky’s blue irises flicker from you, to the floor-like-bed across the room and then back to you again, conflict clear in the way that his face shifts apprehensively, suddenly he moves to stand, “Wait.” You command with urgency, causing the man to stop dead in his tracks, curious eyes on you in a second.
Letting out a nervous breath, you decide to make sure he gets some proper rest for once, “Just sleep on the goddamn bed.” You deadpan as his face keeps unusually stoic, his body as still as a statue before without so much as a warning does he swiftly lean over and immediately crash his lips to yours.
Within seconds the cards are left for tomorrows cleanup as they flutter to the hard ground, completely forgotten as he presses a metal hand onto the bed for some stability while his lips move sweetly against your own, his flesh one positioned comfortably against your left jaw and partial cheek.
The shock you feel quickly gets shoved to the back of your mind as your hands immediately begin there exploration as they sift through his long dark hair. He tastes impeccably more delicious then you could have ever even imagined, not that you fantasized about tasting the Winter Soldier or anything, though maybe it popped into your mind as a harmless curiosity. Now however, you’re pleasantly satisfied to find out by the way his soft plush lips dance across your own; it’s enough to send your heart fluttering into a thousand excited butterflies, more like an avalanche for Bucky.
All too soon does be abruptly pull away to seat himself next to you while you begrudgingly retract your hands from exploring him further. His eyes quickly find the floor in embarrassment as you smile adoringly at him, “Sorry that was...”
“Fucking hot?” You muse as his flustered face immediately snaps over to yours, hope clear in his shimmering gaze and a tad bit of puzzlement. Guess he didn’t expect his little move of bravery to produce such an apparent positive reaction.
“Uh, well...that’s uh, good..” He mumbles while rubbing the back of his neck, eyeing shifting across the bare mattress before they slowly glance up to find yours once more. This time he hands you a shy nervous smile,”...can I kiss you again?” Wonders Bucky with the sweetest puppy dog eyes you have ever seen in your entire life.
Smirking mischievously, you gently caress the side of his cheek while he happily leans into it, “Bucky Barnes....you can do a lot more then just kiss me.” And with that said does your sweet man press his lips against yours, admittedly more hungry then the first.
He kisses you with such vigor and passion this time, becoming more bolder by the second as he gently tugs at the bottom of your shirt. Smiling against him, you quickly break from his charm to give him your approval, “Shirt comes off if yours does first.” You tease as he plants a chaste kiss to your cheek, then jaw.
Rolling his eyes while continuing to plant love marks around your neck, you take that as a positive sign to reach over and hastily remove his top, he then wastes no time in carefully slipping yours off as well, taking a second longer to unclasp your bra and fling it to the side. Problems for finding later. After the introductions are had, you both immediately take a long heavy moment to trail your eyes over every curve and blemish of each other’s body. You’ve never done this with him before, never even witnessed him without a shirt on, God is he ever more divine then you could have ever even imagined.
Trailing your eyes over ever muscle and crevice in the dull shadowed lighting of the room, your heart begins to sink with sadness and anger while you study the scarring on his left shoulder, the area between where metal meets flesh. Bucky watches as you frown before he takes your left hand in his, eyes softening while he holds it gently, “They hurt you like they hurt me.” He whispers.
Your eyes quickly flicker over to see his shadowed face, and the dark hair that frames it so perfectly, “They hurt everyone.” You whisper back as he brings your wrist up to his mouth, a second later be places the softest of kisses against your weathered skin, right where your tattoo is. The one you’ve had since you were eleven, the one Hydra gave you.
“Did they do this too?” He wonders, already knowing your answer as you slowly nod in silent reply; the black inked marking shows 00X13 as it sits horizontally against your wrist from where those bastards essentially branded you.
Frowning deeply at the black ink on your wrist, you take a slow breath as Bucky watches your every move, “I’ve tried to cut it off of me a couple times long ago.....but they did this to me before the second serum altered my body so that I could heal faster. I guess my body registers it as part of the skin now, but I’ve grown to live with it. It’s a reminder of my past and survival, I cannot stay angry with the dead forever.” You mutter thoughtfully, referencing to the former doctors and scientists who did this to you, understanding that those people are all dead now or incredibly old.
Bucky bows his head, dark hair tickling your hand and wrist as he holds it close to his stubbled face, brows furrowing you wonder what internal turmoil he may be processing, soon he rises his stormy ocean of blue to find your gaze, “I hate them. All of them.” He grumbles lowly, the icy dark storm clouding over in hidden rage that flashes within his eyes.
Not wanting to darken the blessed moment a second more, you push a piece of hair out of his eyes before placing a gentle kiss against his lips, pulling away he slightly follows, “It doesn’t matter now. We’re two lonely souls together in this fucked up world and I want you to make love to me.” A small grin replaces the once bitter frown as he leans in closer.
“Then I will.” Answers Bucky, his voice as soft and velvety as the most precious flowers, he soon moves forward to gently push you on to your back, stealing another kiss along the way while he hovers over your heated body.
His form is much broader then your own as he pins your vessel to the bed, hands drag lazily through his increasingly messy hair as you slowly part your legs for him to rest his clothed nether regions against your own equally as kept queen jewels. Now he lays flush against your clothed bodies, fitting perfectly like two golden pieces of a Kings prized puzzle.
The growing friction of his hardening member against your sensitive nerves is enough to make you growl in frustration from lack of satisfying contact. Tugging his head back from your lips, you smirk as he pouts, “I’m enjoying this Buck, I really am, but our pants gotta go.” He promptly breaks out into a knowing grin.
“I was thinking the exact same thing.” Muses Bucky in agreement as he leans back to give you some space for safely kicking off your pants and undies as he fumbles with his own from the spot next to your left. Naked and shining in all your magnificent glory, you watch in amusement as he struggles to shove down his jeans before a small giggle escapes your lips when he frustratingly throws them across the floor.
Knees guarding your hidden treasure below, you smirk while resting your arms against the bed, eyes flashing in entertained contentment as they glance up at him, “I’m not going anywhere, Buck.” You quip as he shakes his head in embarrassment.
“Yeah. Well...” He’s quickly interrupted as you pull him back down against your naked form, “oh, hi.” Whispers Bucky as his face keeps mere inches from your own, pieces of black hair tickling the sides of your face.
“Hi.” You mutter back with a shy smile before raising a brow and glancing downward for a brief moment, “Care to take those off?” You ask in referral to his underwear that’s still keeping it all in, his poor manhood that looks just about ready to rip through his boxers any second now.
Glancing down as well, he quickly smiles as a dust of pink coats his stubbled cheeks, “oh, right......just a moment.” His body leaves yours once again to kneel on the mattress as he almost trips out of them, you stare on in anticipated excitement as he swiftly pulls down his undies to reveal a very hard member indeed. He was packing this whole time!
Cheeks flushing pink once more, he gives you a shy nervous grin before placing his hands on either side of your closed legs. With pleading eyes of dashing cobalt, they flash a stormy sky of hunger and lust. Bucky draws his lips closer to your knee before suddenly placing a gentle kiss against your naked skin. “Is this okay?” He asks cautiously incase you might have changed your mind about everything, still completely uncertain if this is all some cruel dream and he’s about to wake up at any moment.
Parting your legs on your own accord, you smile fondly at him, “Of course. Now come here.” You beckon with a confident nod of your head, openly inviting him to join you now in the most intimate of ways.
Heeding to your pleasing command, the super soldier hovers over your naked body once again as you part your legs even wider for his wanting hardness that just barley brushes past your inner upper thigh, so close to your entrance. You could just about melt into a puddle of goo.
Your breaths are more heavy now as you both anticipate the sweet moment to come; both flesh and metal arm fall to either side of your face as his lips ghost over yours, breath hot against your smiling face, “I haven’t done this in awhile, I’ll admit. Sorry if I don’t do grea...”
Kissing him roughly, you shut him up real quick, “It’s fine. No judgment here, I promise.” You add honestly with another sweet kiss as you feel downward for his hardened cock, finding it rather quickly he hums in surprised delight as you grasp it before leading him to your slick entrance.
Once close enough to get there on his own will, do you smirk up at him with a face more valuable then all the diamonds in the whole entire world; your hands grasp either side of his biceps, as he studies your nodding face, “I’m ready.” And with that does his tip touch your fiery skin, slowly he pushes into you with a pleasurable groan escaping from his parted lips. 
Immediately do you gasp in surprise at his fullness graciously stretching your walls, “Did I hurt you?!” Worries your new lover as you wrap your legs around his hips before sending him a confident wink and a kiss for good measure.
“Nothing can hurt me.” You confirm with another heated kiss to his lips, soon you begin grinding into him the best you can manage as he starts moving pleasantly against your core. His strong hips pushing you back into the mattress in the absolutely best way possible.
Bucky soon finds an effective pace and with that begins thrusting into you harder now as he gains more and more confidence with your wanting body of pure flame and desire; only the delicious sounds of skin on skin contact making itself present in the tiny apartment, besides your labored breaths of intense love making.
Your mind is nothing but foggy mush as he pushes himself deeper and deeper into your slick entrance with each beautifully graceful stroke of his godlike hips. Soft moans and muffled grunts continue to leave his throat as he pumps in and out of you over and over again. Ugh, you could just about die happy.
Causing you to whimper in pleasure as the tiny growing coil inside you gets tighter and tighter with every new thrust to your center walls. His hard cock twitches against your sensitive nerves as his own orgasm begins reaching its inevitable climax, he’s so fucking close.
With a couple more powerful thrusts does he finally succumb to your glorious body and cum hard inside you, his voice gravely and deeply enthralling as he moans in pleasure of the golden release. Feeling his member twitch angrily from within is enough to send you over the edge with ecstasy, causing your walls to clench instinctively against his dexterously slick cock. Fuck he feels good.
More whimpers and moans fall helplessly off of your tongue as your fingers trail pink fiery lines across his glowing skin, he’s without a doubt just as sweaty as you are by this point, and all the more beautiful.
Kissing your lips hungrily, Bucky pounds relentlessly harder into you now as the two of you silently decide to continue on for a swiftly approaching round two. In no time he has the both of you cumming even harder and messier then the first, with moans and groans of plenty reverberating off the aged old walls of his tiny apartment.
Leaving your body a shaking and sweaty mess as he thrusts a couple last pumps into you for good measure, pink swollen lips not once leaving yours until at long last does he gently pull out for the first time in what seems like hours. Though you definitely weren’t complaining, both of you have a plethora of stamina to spare, though you did wear him out.
Falling into an exhausted heap of Bucky next to you on the messy bed, his chest quickly rises and falls with heavy breaths as your does the same. For a few long moments do the two of you keep silent, just the sounds of your heavy breathing the only thing of any significance in the darkly room lit room.
After giving yourself a couple minutes to cool down, Bucky blissfully chuckles, causing you to turn your head towards his beaming face as he stares up at the ceiling, “Something funny Barnes?” You muse in that gloriously prominent accent of yours that drives him wild. He turns his sweat covered head over to you, pieces of long hair sticking to the sides of his handsomely beaming face.
“Are we dead? This feels like a dream and I’m going to wake up alone any second now.” Mutters Bucky, eyes blinking in hopes this is real and true as life itself.
Laughing, you move from your back to lay flush against his left side while watching your every move, kissing his chest you hum, “Well, you’d have a real mess in the morning.”
Bucky immediately scrunches his nose up in slight disgust as you sling an arm over his bare chest, “Thank you for that image Y/N.” He retorts with a short burst of air leaving from his nostrils, indicating he did indeed find it rather amusing.
Kissing his cheek you shrug, “It’s not like your load isn’t still....in places, it’s sex Buck. It’s messy and beautiful and I’m glad I could do this with you. Seriously, I thought we’d never get here.”
Bucky’s face appears rather thoughtful for a long moment before he finally speaks, “I didn’t think you liked me like that.”
“What!?” You exclaim in bewilderment, causing him to snicker as you continue with your explanation, “Was I not obvious enough with the stolen glances and whatever else I could get away with? I was trying actually if you wanted to know....in my own way, but still.”
“I did try to kill you once.” Confirms Bucky as you lay comfortably against his metal arm, head resting on his upper chest while his eyes flicker back up to the ceiling.
Scoffing, you flick a piece of his hair, “I didn’t take it personally.”
Thinking for a moment, he finally looks down at you, “I’m glad you didn’t. And I’m glad that you found me.” Whispers your lover as he reveals the most dashing smile you’ve ever seen, while his flesh arm gently caresses down your shoulder in a blissfully comforting manner.
“Me too.” You add, pressing another soft kiss to his lips as you trail a finger down his side, “Now let’s take a shower......and probably change the sheets.”
“We don’t have sheets.”
——
An annoying ray of golden sunlight shines brightly in your closed eyelids from a small tear in the middle of the window newspaper, as your senses slowly come back to the world. You squint before taking a deep breath and shifting your gaze to make a full circle of the room, since you do happen to be facing away from the wall.
Your eyes trail over to Bucky’s usual spot only to reveal absolutely nothing, your heart suddenly jumps in your chest as the pleasurable memories of last night come flooding into your head once again, and some of the leftover smells, you can thank those fucking scientist for that. 
That’s right, you think, you slept with Bucky, and he’s literally snoozing away right behind you.
Smiling into the morning sun, you quietly sit up before turning your head to look down at Bucky, his hair is an absolute adorable mess as it lays across his face in various dark strands. He’s currently shirtless with the exception of some sweatpants and the thin blanket he owns that’s positioned across his torso.
You’re clothed as well, deciding it best to be dressed and comfy after the heated shower session you two shared; oh to be back in that moment for another minute longer, how nice that would be.
Slipping away from your daydreaming of Bucky, your heart skips a beat as he stirs, soon enough does his beautiful blues open up to the world. Finding your adoring gaze, he rests a hand on your folded leg, “Mornin’ Y/N.” Mutters Bucky in that raspy early morning voice of his, the actual greeting sounding more like a toddler learning to speak for the fist time then anything truly coherent. Or like a drunken man.
Rubbing a hand through his dark locks, you smile lovingly down at his stubbly morning face as he closes his eyes yet again, showing pure bliss while your fingers run through his scalp. “Touch starved much?” You quip as he opens his eyes and yawns like that of a sleepy old bear, metal arm flashing a quick stray beam of light when he shifts.
“Maybe.” Teases Bucky as he silently beckons for you to lay down with him, heeding to this hopeful inquisition, you scoot yourself onto your side and graciously welcome as his flesh arm reaches over your torso to pull you in closer.
Noses mere inches from one another, you raise a brow as he stares lovingly into your eyes, “Cozy?”
Gently kissing your lips in reply, he pulls back to reveal a positive lazy grin, “I think so.” Jests Bucky as he pushes you onto your back so that he can sling an arm over your rib cage, essentially pinning you to the bed with no real intention of letting you go any time soon.
The both of you stay like that for a good couple of minutes, just enjoying each other’s company in the late morning sun before he finally decides to speak, “Was last night....uh, good?” Wonders Bucky in nervous apprehension as his head rests comfortably against yours.
Giving him a light peck, you grin, “The best I’ve ever had.” And you mean every single word.
He gently squeezes your side in reply before muttering, “You were great too.”
Lightly chuckling, your eyes squint as you smile brightly at him, “Well that’s good to know. Glad I hadn’t lost my incredible seduction skills.”
“Yeah, I was thoroughly seduced.” Quips Bucky as you snicker.
-
Tagged: @minigranger @bibliophilewednesday @holyhumorliteraturelight @diegos-butt​
170 notes · View notes
robininthelabyrinth · 4 years
Note
Prompt - Meng Shi is NHS's mother, making him half brother to NMJ and JGY.
Three Gates - on ao3 (for content warnings check Ao3)
- Chapter 1 - 
Meng Yao sat out on the balcony of the brothel, bored out of his mind, as he waited for the party in the fancy inn down the way to finish.
He knew it was an important one from the way his mother had nearly clawed another girl’s eyes out for the opportunity to go. It wouldn’t have been worth it otherwise: she was older, her looks a little faded, her body a little weaker than the others, and a party like that was not nearly as effective a means of making money as the steady work at the brothel.
But Meng Yao didn’t know why it was so important – only that his mother had looked especially excited as she’d gotten ready.
Maybe she thought she might find a patron there.
Wistful thinking, if she did – she hadn’t had a patron in over a year, and the last one hadn’t been worth much; they hadn’t even gotten a better room at the brothel out of it, much less being set up in a discreet apartment of their own the way Meng Shi had told him had happened in the past.
At least Meng Yao hadn’t been recruited to act as a server at the party. The bosses at the brothel and the inn asked for him to do odd tasks like that more and more since they knew they could get him to do it for free, and he had no choice, even though he hated seeing his mother smile and flutter her eyes at the men she serviced. This party, though, was too high-end, apparently, to risk having a child like him mess up – they’d gotten actual servers, paid ones, and never mind the cost.
Maybe there would be rich men there, generous ones. Maybe his mother would be able to get a good tip. Maybe the bosses would be well-paid enough to let her keep it. Maybe they could get some meat to eat…
“Hey, you! You – you up there! Can you help me?”
He looked down.
There was another boy there at the base of the balcony outside of Meng Shi's window, where Meng Yao liked to sit: a boy few years older than him, taller, in finely made clothing that would normally make Meng Yao itch all over in futile envy, but the other boy’s eyes were white around the edges in a way that was immediately, painfully familiar.
“Someone’s chasing you?” Meng Yao asked, and the boy’s eyes widened even further, surprised, but he nodded in confirmation. “There’s a trellis around the left side – can you climb up? I'll hide you.”
The boy found the trellis that Meng Yao used to get in and out of the second floor without anyone seeing – it creaked a little under the bigger boy’s weight, but he was just young and small enough that he managed to get up without too much of a problem, and Meng Yao pushed him through the balcony door just as a dark figure stepped out from the inn down the road, his motions a little too slow and deliberate to be anything but predatory.
The man was handsome enough, in a cruel sort of way. Meng Yao didn’t like the way he smiled as he started to survey the street with his eyes – looking for the boy Meng Yao had just hidden away, no doubt about it, and men who attended parties stocked with people like Meng Yao’s mother as party favors didn’t have good intentions when they looked at boys with a smile like that.
Meng Yao put on his stupidest and most vacant expression, leaning his head against the bars as if he’d never done anything more interesting in his life than daydream, and eventually the man walked by the brothel without paying him more than a cursory look.
As soon as he was sure the man was gone, Meng Yao turned and went back inside.
“Thanks,” the boy said. He was sitting on the floor in the middle of the room, his knees pulled up to his chest and still shaking; he didn’t even seem to have noticed that he was in the perfumed heart of a brothel lady’s personal chambers. “I’m sorry to have bothered you.”
“He was looking for you in particular,” Meng Yao said, crouching down next to him and studying him with the practiced eye of a boy raised among whores. The boy was handsome, with straight features, good cheekbones, and a certain ruddiness that suggested health – not the sort of pretty boy that usually got sought out at such parties, but certainly more than pretty enough. Tall, too, to judge by the length of his legs, but the amount of baby fat on his face suggested Meng Yao had been right about him being not that much older than him. “Why? He was at a party full of prostitutes.”
There wasn’t any point in obfuscating.
The boy ducked his head down, cheeks flushing dark. “My father’s there,” he said, not really answering the question. “They kept toasting him over and over, until they’d gotten him really drunk, and then they set up him with one of the – with a lady. Normally he keeps an eye on me so there isn’t any trouble, but this time...”
Meng Yao frowned. “That man’s been after you before?” A shaky nod. “You’re sure? Has he ever tried –”
The boy flinched.
“And your father still took you to where he could find you?” Meng Yao shook his head: fathers really weren’t worth anything, were they? His own had abandoned him, abandoned his mother without even purchasing her freedom, and this boy’s didn’t seem especially good either, if he was out getting drunk and leaving his son where known harm could come to him.
“He didn’t have a choice,” the boy mumbled. “Either about going to the party, or about bringing me. Anyway it’s not even – I don’t think it’s about me. He doesn’t have any reputation for liking boys generally. But he hates my father, and I’m my father’s only son, his heir. Wen Ruohan only wants to ruin me to hurt my father.”
Having seen the avid, avaricious look on the man’s face as he’d walked down the street, searching, Meng Yao wasn’t so sure about that, but he thought it might not help to say so. “Well, you lost him.”
“Thanks,” the boy said. “I’m in your debt. But I’d better get going, before he starts knocking on doors and asking questions.”
“In this district? No one will answer.”
“They will if he offers them gold,” the boy said, rubbing his face. He looked tired, and scared.
If this Wen Ruohan was willing to go knocking at every brothel in town and offer them gold to search for the boy, it definitely wasn’t just about his father, but Meng Yao was a practical sort of person. “I can help hide you,” he decided. “Will you give me gold for it, too, later?”
The bosses wouldn’t share any of Wen Ruohan’s gold with him, but this boy – or rather, his father – might, if Meng Yao played his cards right. Of course, he might get nothing at all, but nothing was more than likely what he’d get on the other side, too, and if he did nothing then there’d be another ruined boy on the streets, probably disowned when his dishonor was discovered, with no way to live other than to sell himself to one of the brothels that catered to things like that.
He wasn’t yet quite bitter enough to want others to be torn down to make his own misery seem less.
Might as well try to help.
The boy nodded, eyes wide, and Meng Yao tugged him over to the closet where his mother kept her clothing. “He’s looking for a boy,” he explained when the boy didn’t seem to understand. “This brothel doesn’t keep boys – I’m not a worker here, my mother is – and so it would be strange for there to be a boy here, you understand? But not strange at all for there to be another whore. Not even a young one.”
He probably could have just hidden the boy in the closet and called it done, but Meng Yao took a certain pleasure in stripping down the fine sturdy fabrics the boy was wearing and replacing them with his mothers’ cheap silks – they’d been more expensive, once, but she’d had to sell those – and in painting the boy’s face and eyes until he looked like any of the other girls that worked the house.
More pretty than some, even. His looks were really quite striking, even covered in cheap makeup, but with a fan and a veil to guard his face, no one looked twice at him where he was sitting in the corner of the main room, not even when the man hunting him, Wen Ruohan, leisurely followed the bosses around as they tore through the brothel, opening closets and looking under beds, searching for a stowaway.
Meng Yao’s pettiness turned out to have been a good idea, and if the boy asked, he’d definitely done it on purpose.
(A few of the men tried to buy ‘her’, always out looking for new meat, but Meng Yao was an old hand at turning down or redirecting customers that wanted things, and the one that kept persisting, a mean old drunkard that they’d had problems with before, got scared away by the boy’s own vicious glare.)
“Thanks,” the boy said again once the man he'd called Wen Ruohan had left. “Again.”
“You’ll pay me later,” Meng Yao reminded him, and the boy nodded. “What’s your name, anyway?”
“My name is Nie Mingjue. What's your name?”
“Meng Yao. Come upstairs – I have a little place in the attic where I sleep, and if you squeeze you might just fit.”
Nie Mingjue did, albeit barely, and if Meng Yao shoved himself into the boy’s arms, insisting that there wasn’t any other alternative, he thought that the bit of warmth he got was the least he deserved for enduring the stresses of the evening. His suspicions that Nie Mingjue was a great hugger whose hands never wandered were borne out by truth, and they stayed warm and safe the entire night through.
The next morning, Meng Yao reluctantly gave Nie Mingjue back his clothing – he would’ve liked to have sold a few pieces if he thought he could get away with it, but Nie Mingjue was meticulous in dressing properly – and watched him get dressed, thumbing idly through one of the cultivation manuals his mother had bought him. She hadn’t come home the night before, which meant she’d had a customer at the party; hopefully that meant they would be eating this month, even if Nie Mingjue forgot about paying what he owed. Assuming she didn’t waste the money on even more stupid books…
“What’s that?” Nie Mingjue asked, nodding at it.
Meng Yao showed it to him. “It’s supposed to teach you the basics of cultivating.”
He didn’t think it did, though. Nothing happened no matter how many times he practiced the motions, and it wouldn’t be the first time something his mother had bought at too high a price with her hard-earned money turned out to be a fake.
“Cultivation?” Nie Mingjue asked, and took the manual. “This is wrong.”
Meng Yao sighed. Of course it was.
“This won’t teach you anything,” Nie Mingjue continued, flipping through the pages with a frown. “Some of this is actually backwards - it’s not just useless, it’s worse than useless.”
Meng Yao blinked. “How do you know?”
“Because I’m a cultivator, of course,” Nie Mingjue said as if it was nothing. “Do you really want to learn?”
“It’s my mother’s dream for me,” Meng Yao said, his hands curling into fists with excitement. Nie Mingjue could be lying, of course, but he’d figured out pretty quickly in their conversation the night before that Nie Mingjue was very bad even at dissembling, and he didn’t look like he was lying now. “If you get me a real manual, there’s no need to pay any gold.”
“I’ll do both,” Nie Mingjue said, very seriously. “I don’t have a beginner’s manual with me, but I’ll get one from home and bring it to you next time we come here. Will that work?”
Meng Yao nodded furiously. Even if he got nothing, he started with nothing, he reminded himself harshly, but he couldn’t quite stop himself from hoping. Just once, just this once…
“And as for the gold, I can get that right now,” Nie Mingjue said. “Stay here, I’ll be right back.”
Meng Yao spent the next quarter shichen telling himself to forget about seeing Nie Mingjue ever again, that the other boy had already forgotten him, that it was all pointless and he should be thinking instead about how to convince his mother to save some of what she earned from the night’s work rather than spending it at once.
But Nie Mingjue did come back, running as fast as he could.
“Meng Yao! Meng Yao!” he shouted, waving, and Meng Yao looked down at him from the balcony just the way he had the night before. “We’re going to leave right away, so I have to go back, but I got you whatever I could grab! Catch!”
Meng Yao caught the little bag Nie Mingjue threw him, stunned, and watched as the other boy ran back the way he came, a pair of fiercely scowling men in dark robes catching him by the arms and starting to scold him even as they dragged him away.
The pouch in Meng Yao’s hands was very light, feeling almost as if there was nothing inside, and very small, barely two fingers in width.
He figured that meant that there wouldn’t be much in there – a child’s pocket-money – but when he opened it up, he unexpectedly could fit his whole hand inside.
“Qiankun pouch!” he gasped, realizing what it must be, and grabbed a handful of the coins inside to pull out. They weren’t all gold – mostly not, in fact, but all those copper pennies and pieces of silver were still more than Meng Shi had managed to save up in six months’ time, and the two or three little chunks of gold hidden underneath would be an excellent start to a fund meant to buy her freedom.
Meng Yao hid the money in four different spots right away, putting the bag itself in the safest spot of all, and went to show the bosses a portion of what he’d gotten, claiming he’d gotten an unexpected tip. They took the small scrap of silver, leaving him with only a few copper pennies, and they went and found one of the more obviously hidden stashes to confiscate as well, just as he’d expected. But after that, they thought he’d been emptied out, while the gold and the rest of the money were still safe.
“Yesterday was a good day,” he told his mother with a smile when she returned, but she didn’t smile back even though her clothing was still intact and he didn’t see any new bruises, meaning it had to have been a decent enough night. “Wasn’t it for you?”
“No,” she said, her voice dull and deeply disappointed. “Not really.”
259 notes · View notes
dulienne · 3 years
Photo
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
        YOU  SEE  ,  THAT  IS  WHAT  A  WRITER  DOES  ━  THEY  CAPTURE  ,  THEY  HAUNT   .  .  .   lochlann  hanley  was  a  poet  ;   a  very  good  poet   (  excerpt  from  the  diary  of  eimile  o’dienne  /  entry.  285   •  12th  of  November  )
eimile's  former  betrothed  now  deceased  ex-fiance  was  a  man  of  words  and  lyricism  .  once  a  celtic  literature  professor  in  dublin  at  trinity  college  he  moved  to  the  rural  village  of  dúlainn  seemingly  out  of  the  blue  .  although  those  who  kept  in  contact  with  the  professor  in  the  weeks  before  his  departure  saw  him  in  a  frenzied  state  .  he  had  been  keeping  odd  hours  and  missing  lectures  in  favor  of  locking  himself  away  in  his  study  .  he  is  a  man  on  the  brink  until  he  arrives  at  the  seaside  of  his  new  home  .   dúlainn   is  a  notoriously  sleepy  village  with  little  else  to  explore  other  than  its  impressive  caves  but  historians  know  this  plot  of  land  as  …  the  village  of  the  dead  .  old  fae  stories  speak  of  strange  encounters  with  the  nether  folk  in  this  area  due  to  the  veil  between  worlds  being  at  its  thinnest  here  . 
not  only  a  professor  but  the  youngest  saoi  (  "wise  one"  )  of  the  aosdána  artists' association  lochlann  was  able  to  buy  a  home  on  the  edge  of  town  under  the  guise  of  a  writing  retreat  .  it  is  there  in  the  heart  of  the  liminal  land  that  he  delves  further  into  his  studies  after  coming  across  the  grimoire  of  dhuosnos  ━  the  celtic  god  of  darkness  and  the  dead  .  the  shadows  begin  to  speak  to  him  at  first  in  nonsensical  babblings  and  then  finally  words  in  ancient  tongues  .  he  can  make  no  sense  of  it  outside  of  a  name
THE  SOULS  OF  THE  DEPARTED  :   EIMILE  
there  is  no  chance  this  is  prophecy  …  eimile  o'dienne  returns  to  the  village  she  was  born  in  days  later  ━ plagued  by  visions  and  led  by  ghosts  .  her  ancestral  home  , a  property  known  as  the  lus  mór  estate  now  a  stone  structure  much  closer  to  ruins  than  a  legacy  .  she  cannot  live  on  the  grounds  as  is  but  as  she  explores  the  rubble  she  recovers  the  ring  of  o'dienne  .  its  curse  unknown  to  her  at  the  time  she  wears  the  silver  band  with  little  worry  and  yet  it  begins  to  close  the  gap  between  her  and  the  netherworld  .  this  is  where  lochlann  and  her  meet  for  the  first  time  she  is  at  the  center  of  an  primeval  henge  when  he  calls  her  by  name  without  the  aid  of  introduction  ..  
L.H. :  EIMILE
her  mind  whirls  ,
E.O. :  FATE
she  thinks  ,
E.O. :   FATE  ,  IT  MUST  BE  . 
and  so  it  was  sealed  …  they  pour  over  the  books  together  now  in  his  cottage  .  piecing  together  fractions  of  magic  and  what  they  believe  to  be  words  of  the  gods  of  old  .  eimile  is  infatuated  ,  smitten  and  willing  ;  unsure  of  the  fruits  of  their  labor  yet  persistent  in  the  name  of  her  love  .  he  says  he  is  a  druid  a  descendant  of  the  court  magicians  of  a  time  gone  and  past  ━  she  believes  him  when  he  shows  her  cheap  wonders  in  the  wilting  of  flowers  and  then  grander  acts  ,  the  dimming  of  stars  .  and  he  believes  it  too  down  to  his  very  bones  .
  he  tells  her  , 
L.H.  :   YOU  ARE  MY  WINDOW  ,  MY  DOORWAY  --  LET  ME  USE  YOU  ,  YOU  WILL  BE  MY  KEY  AND  MY  BRIDE  .   
and  she  thinks  , 
E.O.  :  WHAT  A  LOVELY  THING  TO  BE  :   A  KEY  .  AND  WHAT  COULD  BE  GRANDER  THAN  TO  BE  A  BRIDE  .
and  she  says  ,  
E.O.  :  I  WANT  YOUR  NAME  AND  YOUR  FUTURE  ,  LOCHLANN  HANLEY  . 
and  it  is  a  promise  but  it  is  also  a  death-sentence  .
they  are  to  be  wed  on  samhain  in  the  heart  of  the  o'dienne  henge  ;  the  gateway  between  realms .   but  lochlann  has  been  pleading  to  the  dark  ,  making  bargains  at  too  high  a  price  and  that  night  his  bride-to-be  would  be  his  tithe  to  the  primordial  ruler  .  what  better  than  a  girl  who  was  also  a  beacon  ?  a  fortuitous  coincidence  !  yet  there  is  no  coincidence  to  be  had  here  . their  vows  carry  out  into  the  night  and  they  are  heard  as  echoes  reverberating  through  the  netherworld  .  when  the  o'dienne  ring  finds  its  way  onto  the  hand  of  the  druid  his  knife  finds  its way  into  the  soft  flesh  between  her  ribs  .  
and  he  whispers  ,
L.H.  :  YOU  WERE  MY  KEY  BUT  NOW  I  HAVE  BROKEN  THE  LOCK  AND  YOU  ARE  NOTHING  .
and  she  chokes  ,
E.O. :  YOU  SHOULD  HAVE  KNOWN  BETTER  THAN  TO  GIVE  ME  YOUR  NAME  . 
the  o'dienne  curse  was  swifter  than  bloodshed  and  the  groom  began  to  crumple  over  the  alter  ,  his  breath escaping  him  in  wisps  of  white  in  the  winter  chill  until  he  went  entirely  still  .  both  died  by  dusk  but  only  one  rose  with  the  moon  at  the  witching  hour  .  when  she  awoke  ,  she  was  wailing  ━  a  terrible  cry  loud  enough  to  wake  the  dead  …  and  that  is  what  she  did  .  her  excruciating  lament  had  severed  the  final  seams  of  the  veil  and  when  she  could  howl  no  longer  she  entered  the  realm  of  departure  . 
10 notes · View notes
heybeybey · 3 years
Note
Did I ask you the peaceful rivetra cabin one honey with a slice of nsfw ?? ( if I did already ignore this 😭)
Not yet! @himebee-5 And I'm glad you requested this! Anyway, you know how long my HC posts are so the actual cabin headcanon comes in halfway through (this is 1,454 words wtf) haha
This is 3 full cups of honey, a dash of dramatic angst in the beginning and two teaspoons of NSFW btw.
Hope you'll enjoy!!
Rivetra Cabin +++ (you’ll understand what the + is later on) Canonverse AU
Petra lived through the 57th failed expedition but both her and Levi were permanently injured. Petra came out with a spinal injury and while the doctors did say that she's going to make a partial recovery, her mobility won't be the same as before. 
Levi, on the other hand, lost his left leg. Both have no choice but to retire from the Survey Corps.
I want to add a dash of drama so in this Canonverse AU, the Military Police are forcing Levi to go back to the Underground. 
His temporary citizenship above ground is revoked since he's not going to be a Scout anymore and he wasn't able to fulfill the required service years needed to become a permanent resident (this is something that I just came up with lol)
Erwin tried to pull some strings but even he can't do much since the Survey Corps' reputation is tarnished at this point (same as what happened in the show). The MP tried multiple times to escort Levi out the Survey Corps HQ but Erwin and Hange always finds an excuse to delay it a bit (ex: wrapping things up regarding his dead squad, recovering for a month or two until he can be escorted back etc.)
Petra, stressed and panicking over the fact that her captain will be dragged back to the Underground, frantically begs Levi to run away with her.
Note that they don't have a relationship (yet) and Levi was surprised at her suggestion since Petra lives a decent life as a citizen born in Wall Rose. 
He refuses and said that he can run away by himself if needed but Petra argues that now that he's disabled, he needs someone who will support him.
Our girl got bolder since she knows that they're not really Captain and Subordinate anymore.
She was persistent and a day before they know the MPs will come knocking again, he gives in and they made a run for it.
Erwin and Hange def. arranged a few things for them and Erwin even expedited their last salary
They jumped from one cheap apartment to another just to escape the MPs and finally found a cabin they can afford on a slightly rundown village somewhere north and towards the edge of Wall Rose
It wasn't the best village to live but definitely still better than the Underground (or in jail, in Petra's case since technically she just helped a criminal escape)
Few years passed (let's say their universe had a happy ending that Isayama won't probably give us 😭) and the MP gave up on Levi's case.
Petra and Levi live a quiet life together :3 Both of them needs some support when walking so they do have a crutch (for Levi) and a wheelchair (sometimes for Petra) on hand.
Levi used his last salary and savings to open a small tea shop in the village while they used Petra's for their monthly expenses during the first year. The tea shop eventually was able to support them once it started picking up.
Levi thought he'd hate not being able to serve in the Scouts but was surprised that he did prefer this domestic bliss instead.
He usually prepares the tea while Petra serves the customers in their tea shop.
They'd support each other in cleaning the cabin til it's spotless.
Petra buys groceries every week while Levi focuses more on cooking and laundry for the both of them.
It wasn't easy living together at first since we all know how Levi is and since they're really equals now, Petra doesn't hesitate in speaking her mind anymore. They'd sometimes clash but Levi is the one who often approaches her to apologize and make up.
They both hear news about what's happening and Erwin and Hange sometimes visit them (I want a happy ending for this so Daddy Sasageyo and Hange are both alive ok)
They didn't immediately jump one another btw. They both know that there are already feelings between them but Levi's too emotionally constipated to explore it, much less make it official.
It happened 2 years into living together. Levi was watching Petra sweep the floor and just abruptly said that they should get married.
Petra dropped the broom in shock and her face was absolutely comical. While she and Levi did have a few romantic moments here and there (small but unofficial dates, cheek and forehead kisses given subconsciously), they never talked about an actual relationship.
Levi said that they're already living together anyway and wasn't her dad upset that she's living with a man but not married to said man?
He also remembers the time when they were still in the Scouts and he and his squad were talking about what it might be like to be married since Eld just announced his engagement (rip ☹️)
His only contribution to that conversation btw is "no" when asked if he wanted to get married lol 
Anyway, he remembered how Petra said that she once dreamed about getting married someday and having a happy family. However, at that time, her dream of dedicating her life to the Scouts was more important than settling down and she doesn't plan to retire for many many years.
They were both silent after that and Levi started feeling embarrassed. He tried to take it back, saying that of course, he understands that she doesn't want to since he is in his mid-30s and she'd probably find a better, able-bodied, younger man in the village instead.
Before he even finishes his apology, Petra said yes :3 (Girl has been fantasizing about this for years, of course she'll say yes haha)
They did a shotgun wedding that same evening and Levi started trying to find ways to romance her. It's all awkward at best and downright embarrassing attempts every single time but Petra wouldn't want it any other way.
Petra, being a romantic at heart, wanted a wedding dance and Levi, being a sap, gave in. They had their own wedding dance of sorts in their cabin the best they could with their conditions.
When they got the cabin, they shared one room but have separate beds. The next day after they got married, Levi found Petra pushing the bed together and she said they're married now and he usually climbs on her bed at the middle of the night whenever he has nightmares anyway.
The first ones to know about their shotgun marriage is Petra's father, Erwin and Hange. Hange dragged Erwin to their cabin the very next day after they received the letter.
Mr. Ral wasn't happy at first that Levi didn't ask for his permission (Petra scolded her father for being too old-fashioned) but he eventually told Levi that he approves as long as he's making Petra happy.
Erwin and Hange brought wedding gifts that can help them with their cabin (new cleaning materials, something for their fireplace and since Hange can be crazy, she also brought baby materials. Most are storybooks and onesies haha)
They weren’t planning on having kids but then Levi started reading the children storybooks that Hange brought and Petra noticed that he’d sometimes get this look in his face
We all know Levi would make a great father!!!!
She asked him to stop using protection one night and after three months of trying, Petra did end up pregnant :3
Now for the spicy HCs 💦
Levi wanted to make sure he does everything the right way for her so yes, they do have a wedding night. It was awkward the first time around but Levi has superb stamina 😏  so they did a few rounds and he got the hang of it the second time around.
After the third round, Petra was begging him if they can go to sleep instead. Levi teased her since she accidentally revealed that she's been fantasizing about fucking her captain for years. Now she's giving up?
Okay, that challenged her and they did one last round lol
Turns out Levi being a clean freak doesn't end with brooms, rags and mops! He's also great with aftercare. 
Since Petra didn't have the energy to shower any longer (also taking into consideration her spine's condition), Levi cleaned her afterwards while she just lay there smiling stupidly in contentment.
Sometimes, aftercare ends in more sex though since Levi can't help himself and he starts teasing her again.
...Petra got dicked down on every furniture in their cabin btw. Their favorite is the wooden living room table because it’s in front of the fireplace. 
46 notes · View notes
incineratortm · 3 years
Photo
Tumblr media
AXEL CUTTLER is a mutant with the ability of FIRE MANIPULATION. they’ve been in new york for THIRTY YEARS where they spend most of their time as AN ICE SKATING INSTRUCTOR AND THIEF. when i think of them, i think of SMELL OF BURNT ASH AND CIGARETTES, FLICKERING FLAMES IN THE DARK, TOWERING OVER EVERYONE IN A CROWD, CARRYING WORN ICE SKATES OVER HIS SHOULDER, LEATHER JACKETS AND COMBAT BOOTS.
「 𝙿𝙸𝙽𝚃𝙴𝚁𝙴𝚂𝚃 」
「 𝚃𝙰𝚂𝙺 𝙾𝙽𝙴 」
𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝙱𝙰𝚂𝙸𝙲𝚂 —
NAME: Axel Cuttler ALIAS: Incinerator NICKNAMES: Ax AFFILIATION: The Brotherhood BIRTHDAY: June 10th ZODIAC: Gemini AGE: Thirty SPECIES: Mutant POWER: Fire Manipulation CLASSIFICATION: Omega Level SEXUAL ORIENTATION: Bisexual ROMANTIC ORIENTATION: Biromantic OCCUPATION: Ice skating instructor, Thief EDUCATION: Bachelor’s degree in mechanical engineering LANGUAGES KNOWN: English, Russian, Spanish RESIDENCE: Belcourt Apartments  CHILDREN:  Mila Cuttler is an eight-year-old Mutant like her father but has ice manipulation powers. They developed when she was only six, something said about Mutants in the local news upset her. Which resulted in a shard of ice coming out of her hand and went into the television screen — breaking it instantly. She has blonde hair and participates in ice skating competitions. Axel is still working on teaching her how to control these abilities. HEIGHT: 6’5” BODY TYPE: Muscular, Athletic, Toned EYE COLOR: Brown HAIR COLOR: Brunette UNUSUAL FEATURES: One scar that stretches across his right cheek from his ear and ending near his jawline by the corner of his lips
POSITIVE TRAITS: Loyal, adventurous, cooperative, confident, adaptive, alert, creative, graceful, methodical, self-controlled, sociable, strong, brilliant, honest NEGATIVE TRAITS: Unmercifulness, petty, eccentric, rowdy, persistent, amoral, brutal, devious, excitable, quirky, strong-willed, uninhabited, cynical BAD HABITS: Smoking cigarettes, snapping his fingers to stare at a single flame
𝙱𝙰𝙲𝙺𝚂𝚃𝙾���𝚈 —
Axel was born in one of the back alleys of Brooklyn. His cries muffled by sounds of the city.  Everything was so loud. His mother looked afraid while holding him, wrapped the newborn up in her jacket while trying to figure out what to do. She wasn’t ready to be a mother, much too young, and no support behind her. They sit there for a while in the blazing heat until she suddenly remembers seeing an orphanage called AURURA HOME nearby when visiting her grandparents recently. It was a few miles from where she was staying but Axel’s mother kept him wrapped securely and started walking. He’s left on the porch with only a note. His cries stopped when the door opened and experienced kindness for the first time.
Growing up, Axel becomes quite the extrovert but also an occasional troublemaker. He knew that adoption wasn’t going to ever happen for him. All the parents that come to visit think that he’s far too rowdy and they want someone that knows how to behave. He stopped hoping for it and told himself that it didn’t matter. Obviously this still hurt — and maybe that’s what started to fuel the fire flickering inside of him. It’s ready to ignite but it doesn’t yet.
The boy taught himself how to survive, sneaking out of the orphanage when nobody was looking to explore the streets. It was dangerous for a kid but Axel told himself that it wasn’t like anyone would come looking. He didn’t like any of the other children at the orphanage, they all annoyed him except for one. Theodora was practically his best friend since they were around the same age and both were raised there from birth. She was the best out of anyone in that place, like his light in the dark. Something that would remain true even when they got older and traveled down different paths — yet continued to remain close.
Axel does a few odd jobs around Brooklyn to save up some money after becoming fascinated by figure skating. He eventually had enough to buy some cheap skates. They weren’t brand new but they were his. While everyone else at the orphanage was so focused on getting adopted or finding their forever homes, Axel could be found at the local ice rink practicing. He was pretty good, no doubt about that on anyone’s mind while watching him spend hours upon hours on the ice until it was dinner time. He was a natural and could make a career out of this with enough work.
TEN YEARS OLD — Axel tried to hide his ice skates from the other boys but they were nosy and discovered his passion after many years of hiding it. He usually ignores them, telling himself that they aren’t worth it. but today they put their hands on his skates. They tore them out of his hands, throwing them in the nearby tree so they were out of reach. Cruelty spilling out of the three boys as the they heckled Axel. The oldest of the trio shoved him, knocking him down onto the grass. His eyes just staring up at the sky, looking at the branches where his skates are dangling off the branch. The metal of the blades glistening in the sun. Rage begins building while sitting up, feeling the flame within him burning more quickly. It pours out of his skin, turning his shirt to ash and covering his arms and chest — while both eyes are glowing brighter than the sun. Only two words can be heard before a tragedy. “SHUT UP!”
It happens so fast, unsure what of what just happened as the flames leave his hands in beams of raging fire. All three boys are left with third degree burns across different parts of their body. None of them bothered him again after that out of fear.  Nobody died that day but they were all left with permanent reminders.
EIGHTEEN YEARS OLD — Axel is living in the streets now, legally considered an adult and required to leave the orphanage. It should bother him not to have family but the ache stopped some time ago. He’s a Mutant and still discovering what that means. He isn’t Human, which is the only thing that makes any sense.
The Maggia discovered what Axel could do and decided to take advantage of the situation, approaching the kid who didn’t know any better. It was fairly obvious what they wanted. He wasn’t given much of a choice in the matter. Two options and no compromises. Axel could either come work for The Maggia or they would let one of the Anti-Mutant groups where they could find him. It terrified him and reluctantly agreed to be their henchman. What could be better than someone with an ability like fire manipulation on your payroll? It was deadly and just what they needed.
Everyone looked down on Axel for being a Mutant and mistreat him, despite knowing he had the ability to kill all of them with little effort. Some might say they’re too trusting but Axel thinks they were just stupid.  He was their best thief but nobody would admit it — and if someone needed to be disposed of? Axel would place a hand over their face and the flames burned people from the inside out until they were just a pile of burnt ash. He hated being part of The Maggia and having to be their lackey, but Axel did the work. He worked harder than everyone and never got promotions.  
It took several years for Axel to finally realize that he shouldn’t be afraid of their threats anymore. Instead, they should all be afraid of him if they tried to stop him from leaving. He was tired of being told what to do by these Humans who never gave him an ounce of respect. Which is the reason behind Axel packing up his things — finally leaving to join THE BROTHERHOOD and begin calling himself INCINERATOR.
6 notes · View notes
kawaiikichi · 4 years
Text
Were We? (Saiou Week Day 7)
@saiouweek
Surprise, surprise, I actually managed to write something for Saiou Week! I feel like it could also fall under the prompt “Past Life” for Day 2 but because the past life in this references to them during the killing game and their present life is something completely different, I decided to just post it under free day.
I hope you all like it! :D
Title: Were We?
Prompt: Shuichi’s Birthday or Free Day
Summary: Shuichi has spent over three hundred years as a Grim Reaper, roaming the streets of Tokyo and leading deceased souls to the afterlife. One day, he runs into a purple-haired male whom he has seen in his dreams and it makes him feel emotions he hasn’t felt in god knows how long.
One-Shot Notes: Inspired by the Kdrama Goblin with Shuichi as the Grim Reaper and Kokichi as Sunny; their past life is them in the killing game while their present life is with Shuichi as the grim reaper and Kokichi as a human
Warnings: A sprinkling of angst, NDRV3 spoilers; read at your own risk!
Read on under the cut!
Shuichi walked along the sidewalk, the crisp autumn breeze ruffling his black hair and making his long, black trench coat flutter with each step he took. He stuffed his leather glove-clad hands into his pockets, hoping to warm them as he walked to his destination.
He had no souls to collect and take back to his tea shop until the afternoon, so he decided to take a walk and get himself some coffee before heading to the first accident that was supposed to take place. He also wanted to get away from Rantaro, the immortal goblin that he’s been rooming with as of late. His singing was obnoxious, anyway.
Upon arriving at the coffee shop he frequented, he was met with the warm and comforting smell of baked sweets and freshly brewed coffee. The barista at the counter greeted him, a wide smile on his face. Shuichi greeted him in response as he grabbed for an empty medium-sized cup.
“Americano with no sugar and no cream, correct?” he asked.
“Yeah, that’s correct. You know me well, Naegi-kun.” Shuichi told him.
“Well, you come here so often that I know your order by now!” Makoto slid a small plate with a cream cheese danish on it across the counter. “Here’s your danish as well, Saihara-kun.” he said.
“Thank you.” Shuichi replied.
After paying, he went to sit at the window bar. He nibbled on his danish as he watched passerbys walk the streets. He let his mind wander, and just like it usually did, it went to a male whose face he was unable to see.
Recently, Shuichi has been having dreams involving him. They always took place in what the grim reaper assumed to be a school, but it gave off prison vibes and it rubbed Shuichi the wrong way. But what happened between him and the male in that prison-esque school building could only be summarized as eventful and fun.
The male seemed to be a pain in the ass at times, lying all the time and pulling pranks on other people that were at the school, but the times they spent together were nice. They played games in the dining hall, hid away together in the casino, and read books in the basement library until they fell asleep on each other, blankets wrapped around each other with the male’s head on his shoulder and his head resting against the male’s.
These dreams were filled with happiness and love confessions whispered against each other’s lips as they pressed against each on the couch in the AV room, the film they were watching long forgotten. The Shuichi in those dreams was overjoyed and he looked at the male in his arms with love, which confused the grim reaper when he woke up from that particular dream.
Never in his three hundred years of life had he felt such an emotion so raw and passionate.
Fueled by his curiosity, he looked forward to these dreams. He wondered about how the Shuichi in his dreams interacted with this male he was dating and if these two were able to get out of the school that held them captive and away from the black and white robotic bear that played them like a fiddle in this killing game they were thrown into, living happily ever after.
But what the grim reaper dreamed of last night was anything but nice. In fact, it resembled a nightmare. Everything was smeared in darkness and steeped in the pungent, coppery scent of blood. There was mourning over the execution of a guy named Gonta, whose heart was made of gold and who wouldn’t dare hurt a fly (literally). There was screaming, shouting, tears, and words that pierced through the heart like sharpened blades and spilled blood everywhere without mercy, the dream eventually ending with images of a bloodied hydraulic press.
The way the dream ended last night unsettled Shuichi. Those images were still fresh in his mind as he took a sip from his Americano. Bitterness coated his taste buds, but it wasn’t the pleasant kind that he was accustomed to. Instead, it made his nose crinkle and his body tense from the intensity of it.
He didn’t bother finishing this coffee this time and wolfed down his danish before heading out, hoping that the subtle sweetness would overpower the bitterness that lingered in his mouth.
He eventually found himself strolling along a bridge, which seemed unusually quiet for a Monday morning. Well, save for a nearby jewelry booth that he spotted out of the corner. His eyebrow twitched.
Is that even allowed? he asked himself.
He shook his head, clicking his teeth before sighing.
“Whatever. It doesn’t concern me.” he said.
He started to walk past the booth when the owner of the booth called out to him.
“Hey, Mister Handsome in Black!” a chirpy voice called out.
Shuichi came to a stop, wanting nothing more than to tap on his watch and disappear from her sight.
Can’t anybody let me be in peace today? he wondered to himself.
He shot a glance at the owner, who turned out to be a girl in her twenties with wavy black hair and sparkling amber eyes. Her red lips pulled upward into a smile.
“Are you in need of some new accessories?” she asked.
Shuichi turned his body more, lowering his gaze to the sparkling jewelry and then up to the girl, who continued to beam at him.
“These kinds of accessories aren’t my style.” he told her.
Besides, you can tell at first glance that they’re cheap ripoffs of the real thing, his mind supplied for him.
This only made her giggle.
“Oh, no worries! Then, you could get one for your girlfriend. I’m sure it’ll please her very much.” she said.
“I don’t swing that way.” Shuichi told her.
She blinked her eyes, shooting him a dumbfounded look as he continued.
“I have a preference for guys, so buying something for a so-called girlfriend would be pointless.” he told her.
“I see...well, maybe your boyfriend would like something from here!” she said.
Shuichi got ready to tell her that he didn’t have a boyfriend, but she was already reaching for a purple rope bracelet with a simple puzzle piece charm on it.
“Here, you could buy this. It’s simple, but quite cute.” she told him.
“I’m sorry, but I’m not interested.” he said.
She puffed her cheeks out.
“Come on! It doesn’t even cost that much. I’m sure you could give me a couple yen.” she said, growing more persistent with each word she spoke.
“Really, I’m fine! I don’t want to buy anything—“ he stopped, gold eyes landing on a checkered scarf.
It was just a simple checkered scarf and yet, Shuichi felt a tug in his heart. It was like the scarf was calling his name, begging for him to pick it up and buy it.
His hand started moving on its own before he could stop it. It inches further and further towards the checkered fabric, the tug at his heart growing stronger. His finger brushed along it as another hand appeared in his vision, snatching the scarf up and abruptly snapping him out of whatever trance he had fallen under.
“Oooh, this looks cute! This is totally my style. How much is it?”
Shuichi blinked, looking to his right and locking on a male wispy purple hair that stuck out in all directions. He was shorter than him, making him about five foot one, if he had to guess. The male wore a black and white sawtooth pattern coat with dark denim skinny jeans and black ankle boots.
Almost as if the male knew he was being watched, he turned away from the girl running the booth and locked eyes with Shuichi. The grim reaper felt the wind being knocked out of him the minute it happened. The male’s eyes were a deep shade of purple that sparkled like precious gems in the morning light.
Then, it happened.
Snippets from the dreams he’d been having came slamming into him like a truck, accompanied by a chirpy voice.
“Saihara-chan, let’s play a game!”
“Nishishi! It was just a lie. Or was I lying about that being a lie? The world may never know!”
“I...like you too, Saihara-chan.”
“Ew, I don’t think I can understand why you like black coffee so much.”
“Come oooooooon, Saihara-chan! You promised we’d go swimming!”
“Saihara-chan!”
“Saihara-chan!”
“Saihara-chan...I’m sorry.”
“...I’ll always love you, Saihara-chan.”
Before Shuichi could process what was happening, a single tear trailed down his cheek. He could only stare at the male with a dumbfounded look on his face.
The male peered at Shuichi curiously, brows furrowed and lips pursed.
“Why are you watching me like that? I saw this first.” he waved the scarf around. “You hear me? I saw it first. First!” he shouted.
However, Shuichi didn’t respond. The male arched a brow as he continued to look Shuichi up and down.
“Wait a minute...are you crying?” he leaned in closer. “Oh shit, you are.” he said.
Minty breath tickled his lips and the minute Shuichi realized how close his face was, he immediately jerked back like he burned himself.
“H-Huh?” he stammered out.
“You were crying just now.” the male pointed out.
“What? I wasn’t—“ Shuichi reached up to touch his cheek and immediately felt the wet tear trail on it.
He dabbed at it in surprise. He couldn’t remember the last time he shed a tear, let alone if he actually did during the amount of time he’s been alive. Just what the heck was going on?
The male continued to eye him.
“Do you want it? The scarf, that is. I wanted to buy it because it looked neat, but if you want it…” he murmured.
“Uh...I…” Shuichi trailed off.
“Hm? Are you speechless? Is it because I’m so drop dead gorgeous that you can’t say anything?” the male teased.
“Wha…?!” Shuichi gawked at him in shock, cheeks flushing red.
“Nishishi! Aw, you’re adorable when you’re flustered! It makes me want to kiss you.” the male said.
The blush on Shuichi’s cheeks deepened, which only made him giggle more.
“But seriously, do you want it? Because if you do, I’m not gonna give it to you for free.” the male held his hand out to him. “Give me your number.” he said.
“My...number?” Shuichi questioned.
“Yeah? I’m going to need to contact you in regards to this scarf, you know.”
“I don’t have one.”
The male blinked twice.
“Wait. You’re telling me you don’t have a phone?” he asked.
“I don’t have one.” Shuichi replied.
“Why not?”
“I don’t need one, that’s why.”
“How could you not need one? We live in the twenty-first century! Of course you need a cell phone!”
“I just don’t see why I need to have one.”
“Because…!” the male heaved a deep sigh. “Okay, I can’t be doing this right now. I guess that means this scarf will be mine.” he said.
He moved to tie the scarf around his neck, but Shuichi spoke, effectively stopping him.
“W-Wait! Set the scarf down. Write your number down and place it there with the scarf. I’ll call you.” he proposed.
“Weeeeeeell…” he proceeded to twirl some hair around his finger. “We should at least exchange names if that’s how you wanna do it.” he said.
“Okay...well, my name’s Saihara. Saihara Shuichi.” Shuichi told him.
“Saihara-chan? I’ll make sure to remember that, then. I’m Ouma. Ouma Kokichi.” Kokichi introduced.
He reached his hand out for Shuichi to shake. The grim reaper could only stare down at the hand quizzically before redirecting his gaze to Kokichi’s. The purple-haired male watched him expectantly, waiting for Shuichi to shake it.
“If you don’t want to shake it, then that’s fine.” Kokichi turned back to the booth owner. “You said it was thirteen hundred yen, right? I’ll take it.” he said.
He began to fish through his pocket, mumbling to himself about where he put his wallet. Shuichi sighed, reaching into his trench coat and pulling out his wallet. Flipping it open, he pulled out a few bills and handed it to the booth owner.
“Here, I’ll pay for it.” he said.
Kokichi gaped at him in surprise.
“Wait! Saihara-chan, I can pay for it—“
“I already gave her the money. Just let it be.”
The purple-haired male pouted as the girl giggled.
“Aw, how sweet! By the way…” she leaned in closer to Shuichi, which startled him a little. “This scarf costs way more than thirteen hundred yen. The cost for it is...quite hefty, if I do say so myself.” she whispered lowly.
“How much does it cost, then?” Shuichi asked.
“Hm...maybe someone’s memories?” she hummed out in response.
Shuichi eyed her warily, but she only smiled at him brightly as she accepted the money from him. He sighed, withdrawing from her as Kokichi spoke.
“Well, since you bought it, I guess I should let you have it for now.” he handed the scarf to Shuichi along with a slip of paper. “And here’s my number.” he said.
Shuichi took the scarf and paper from Kokichi, examining them. As he did, Kokichi continued to eye him. Upon feeling the set of eyes on him, he glanced back at Kokichi.
“Yes?” he said.
“You know...the more I look at you, the more I feel like I’ve seen you before.” Kokichi commented.
Shuichi’s eyes widened in surprise as Kokichi leaned in towards him, purple eyes scanning him.
“I wonder...were we lovers in a past life or something?” he mused aloud.
“Were we...what?” he questioned, wondering if he heard him correctly.
“Lovers. Maybe we were lovers in a past life.”
“Were we?”
Kokichi shrugged.
“The world may never know.” the sound of a phone ringing reached their ears. “Ah, that’s mine. I’m going to need to go now.” Kokichi said.
He pulled away from Shuichi and began to walk past him.
“I’ll be waiting for your call, my beloved Saihara-chan!” he called out over his shoulder.
“My beloved…?!” Shuichi squeaked as he turned, watching Kokichi wave his hand as he headed down the steps and disappeared from his sight.
Shuichi sighed deeply.
“That was...interesting.” he murmured.
He looked down at the scarf, running a thumb along the fabric before focusing on the piece of paper that had Kokichi’s number on it along with his name and a quick doodle of himself. As he continued to stare at the two items, Kokichi’s question rang in his mind.
“I wonder...were we lovers in a past life or something?”
The bits and pieces from his dreams resurfaced as he thought back on them. This time, the mystery male had wispy purple hair, purple eyes, and a mischievous smile. He gripped the scarf tighter.
He couldn’t help but wonder if these dreams he was having were merely dreams or if they were something. Maybe they were pieces of his memory from his past life that he was told that he shouldn’t remember at all costs.
But if it were indeed those memories that stayed buried within him, locked in Pandora’s box...then Kokichi might be onto something.
54 notes · View notes
Note
Reading that post about justice, I feel exactly the same but I think that H is still going to be able to do it at some point (not the justice thing but to do something so it looks like it). Unless he settles down with a girl (I doubt it) he will come out as pan once it's useful for his career and will receive all the praise because people don't care to look under the surface and the past. I'm not dissapointed in him but I'm more dissapointed in people like Anna Wintour -->
--> for example, because she has been in the business for a long time, has lived through the 70s and 80s, has lived through the HIV crisis, through all the black transgender people being dismissed, Bowie, Prince, c'mon even Kanye deserves the first male Vogue cover before H. As someone who has worked in high fashion, it felt wrong (Very wrong). I expected more from people that have been part of pop culture in terms of curating art. But as time goes by everything keeps getting more businessy & losing meaning.
I think the point of this post is that with Larry, there was a glimmer of hope that Harry and Louis, along with their fans, would bring about a seismic change in industry, a precedent for tolerance and love. Our “people power” would lessen discrimination against LGBT artists and fans, inspire the tolerance and support of non-LGBT fans, give artists in other entertainment fields a hope of not having to succumb to corporate monopolies of power.
Equality, persistence, compassion, and the insistence on fairness would overcome the desire for personal wealth and fame, for corporate profit, for industry’s aggressive control of expression.
[[MORE]]
None of that came to pass, and none of it will come to pass, because Harry Styles doesn’t stick up for anyone except Harry Styles, and he won’t change anything unless it benefits himself first.
Instead of showing real friendship, like tweeting support for Louis’ debut album, Harry larrybaits, which benefits himself as much as anyone else. He could ask people he knows not to insult Louis— even to stay neutral or silent— but he hasn’t.
Harry’s attitude toward Louis is indicative of his attitude toward other artists in general. When they are no longer in a position of being able to promote Harry Styles, then Harry Styles is no longer interested in them. Harry doesn’t interact with anyone who won’t help him at some point; the other shoe is always poised to drop.
Anna Wintour puts celebrities on the Vogue cover to sell magazines. Celebrities chair the Met Gala to sell the event. For all her lip service, she is at the top of the industry power structure that wants to maintain power. Black Lives Matter has now passed the height of the news cycle. It is no longer interesting to American Vogue.
If Harry comes out, it will be carefully timed for promotion, and it will be championed as a great social milestone. The biggest industry rags will praise him to the skies. A few will put a new iteration of him — shocking yet derivative— on their covers. It won’t affect Louis in the slightest, nor really anyone else. Larries will keep waiting for their Big Gay War, not that their presence is needed or valued any more. Even now, HSHQ is leaving them in the past. And all of it will benefit precisely one man.
The lesson of @dearly’s post is that this result is as much fandom’s failure as it was Harry’s. What we hoped for did not come to pass because fandom was too enamored of our fantasy, too anxious about social ostracism, too scared under the sway of cult leaders and snake oil salesmen. We were scared of being called names by our “friends.” We didn’t want to give up hope. Test subjects are cheap. As long as we kept buying, HSHQ could always find a new audience.
Justice / fairness / a chance for other artists to have an easier time, a fairer chance, a voice... these were never the goals, once platinum records, vintage race cars, Kardashian level fame and wealth, and Stevie Nicks and Don Henley were dangled in front of Harry as prizes.
It’s an old curse, repeated in too many bands to count, a few every generation. People in power are to blame. But so is the artist that decided to forsake his mates, and the fans that pretended not to see.
Interesting thread on Reddit on how entertainment journalists can provide positive cover for a star, in this case for Armie Hammer.
16 notes · View notes
magicmanias · 4 years
Text
Greyhound Station [Prologue]
Chapter: Prologue
Pairing: Firefighter!Bucky Barnes x Ballerina!Reader
Summary: Since she was eight years old, Y/N Parker knew only one thing for certain: that she would always love James Buchanan Barnes. By fourteen, she was positive she knew everything—including that Bucky would be hers forever. When she was eighteen, she realized she really only knew three things: one, that New York was rotten, two, that she would be a dancer no matter what her parents said, and three, that she would do everything in her power to never see James Buchanan Barnes again. But now, Y/N is twenty-four and somehow, she’s back at where she started all those years ago, at a Greyhound station on 206 Livingston Street.
Warnings:  Fluff, (Loveable) Asshole Clint Barton, Swearing
Word Count: 2.2k
A/N: I’m rewriting this series with my good friend, Angelina! Please go check out her account and follow her. She’s an amazing human being and she’s so amazing for helping me write this god forsaken story. I hope you all enjoy what’s coming soon!
Co-written by @dearspacepirates ​​ and @angelinathebook​.
GHS Masterlist // Next >>
Tumblr media
[Summer of 2011, Freshman Year, 15 y/o.]
July 12 was going to go down in history as the day that Y/N Julianne Parker conquered her fear of heights. 
For the past seven years you've lived in Brooklyn, you and the gang went to Coney Island every day that you possibly could in the seventy-seven days of summer that school offered you. And every year, everyone would buy a ticket for the Wonder Wheel… except you. So for an hour of waiting time and ten minutes while your friends could be heard from the top screaming and laughing, you sat at the bottom waiting. But it wasn’t so bad. Someone always sat out with you to keep you company while the rest rode the wheel. Of course, you always felt a little guilty about it; like the little sister that no one wanted to deal with. They drew straws and the unlucky member that was picked didn't get to partake in, apparently, the “best ride ever” that year. 
[Summer of 2004, Third Grade, 8 y/o.]
The first time the gang went to Coney Island, well, the gang was much smaller. Just you, Steve, and Bucky. Sarah was the one to suggest that the boys draw straws.
“We don't leave each other behind,” she'd said, taking out the straw of her coke and cutting it into different sized pieces with the pocket knife from her ex-husband. “Now, that also applies to me. Three straws. Steve, Bucky, and me. Whoever picks the shortest straw stays with Y/N.”
You stared at your feet and shuffled your feet. “I-I don't want to keep you guys from—”
A comforting hand landed on your shoulder and Sarah gave you a warm smile. “Hey, we're not abandoning you.” She ruffled Steve and Bucky’s hair with her spare hand. “These two little buggers and I? We're with you until the end of the line, baby.”
Steve had drawn the short straw that particular time, but he didn't really mind. He said heights triggered his allergies anyway.
[Summer of 2011, Freshman Year, 15 y/o.]
“You can do this. You can do this. Just brea—”
“Hey, relax, will you? You've been shaking since we picked you up. It's a ferris wheel.” Tony slung his arm around your shoulders, chewing on the stick of the lollipop he started on the walk there. He peaked at you imphisly from under his sunglasses.
“Lay off, Stark. Just be nice about it, ok? She's nervous,” Steve butted in. Always the hero, you thought. 
“Thanks, Stevie. But really, I am… ok. I can do this,” you insisted. You looked up at the giant wheel and your stomach floored. The line shifted forward and Bruce bumped into you.
Bruce adjusted his tilted glasses. “Oh sorry—”
“I can't do this!”
Half of the crew sighed and started digging through their pockets. Tony, Thor, and Natasha muttered small curses before handing fives to Clint, Loki, and Bucky. 
“I really thought you were going to this time around,” Natasha groaned, but she still smiled at you before glaring at a very satisfied Clint.
You huffed in annoyance. “Even you, Bucky?”
“Don't hate the player. Hate the game, killer,” he smirked, shoving Thor's five into his pocket. You continued to frown.
“Aw, come on, doll. Don't be that way.” Bucky came over to you, placed his hands in his jacket, and shot an innocent pout at you. “You know I love you. You're my dream girl.”
You punched him in the arm. “Fuck off, James.”
He backed up like a wounded dog, holding his arm. “Hey, I'm just trying to make us some money. So we can start a life together, baby. You and me.” 
Flirt. You rolled your eyes.
“Whatever,” Tony muttered, putting his wallet back in his pocket. “Who's got the straws?”
Steve bashfully pulled out multiple straws of different lengths and began to shuffle them in his palms. The routine started again. Everyone pulled a straw: Tony, Clint, Bruce, Thor, Nat, then Bucky. 
Bucky drew the short stick. 
The gang patted his shoulder—their clandestine form of sympathy, just as the routine went. The gang entered the line and you and your unlucky companion for the next hour and ten minutes sat on the bench near the vintage ice cream parlor that sold flavors all the way back to the 1930s. And then, you'd thank whoever sat with you. Sometimes, they bought you a cone or if they had historically Irish luck, then you'd buy them a sundae because it was the second time they had to sit with you. (A rightfully bitter Clint once asked for the most expensive item on the menu and Coney Island prices weren't cheap.)
Something about this time was different though. It was funny. In all the seven years you'd known Bucky, he never once drew the short straw. Never. Long had he been accused of cheating, but your peers could never prove it. Until now.
Apparently, he wasn't cheating.
You decided to stick to the routine anyway, despite the sour frown on Bucky's face. 
“Thanks,” you mumbled. You tried to shoot him a small smile, but his pout persisted and he shoved his hands in his jacket pockets. 
You sat there for a good ten minutes until you started to get sick of Bucky’s frown. Bucky was always difficult when he was in a bad mood, but after years of trial and error, you knew how to deal with his moodiness. “I’ll be right back,” you said.
You got up and waded into the crowd of people before disappearing altogether from Bucky’s view. He slumped further into the bench. “Why am I even here if you're just gonna split?” he muttered.
After several minutes, Bucky’s cheeks began to hurt and he sat up. Where were you? He stood and scanned the surrounding area for his annoyingly evasive friend. 
“Hey!” A finger poked him in the shoulder and when he turned, he was met with a large ice cream cone shoved in front of him. Behind it, stood Y/N with an innocent grin lining her face.
Bucky took the cone and smirked, “You remembered.”
“Burgundy cherry on a sugar cone. Two scoops,” you recited, rocking back and forth on your heels.
He chuckled. She always knew how to cheer him up. He stared at the scoop of pink ice cream. “I’m sorry for being… dumb about the ferris wheel. I know you don't like it,” he mumbled. 
“It’s okay.” You blushed behind your cone, hoping Bucky wouldn't see. “You’re lucky you've got those baby blues, Barnes. It's what's kept me around all these years,” you joked, shoving him playfully in the arm. 
Bucky pulled away in pretend pain. “Careful killer, you just might make me fall in love with you.”
“Save it, Barnes.” 
Bucky watched you while you returned to licking your ice cream. As much as he loved you, Bucky was going on that ride.
He stood up and reached out for your hand, smiling warmly. “Come on, Killer. I've got a surprise for you.”
You looked up with excitement. “Really?”
“Yeah, but you gotta close your eyes.” Bucky walked behind you and covered your eyes with his free hand. “Trust me. You'll like this.”
“Holy fuck, Bucky!” you screeched, pushing into Bucky’s side, trying to get away from the edge of the seat. Your heart pounded out of your chest as you rose higher and higher. You screwed your eyes shut, but it only accelerated the tears that poked at the corners and threatened to spill down your cheeks. 
“Bucky, I want off…” you whimpered. “I want to get off.” 
“Hey, just don’t look down. You’re safe with me,” he assured you, taking your hand in his. You squeezed it, hard. He pulled his other arm away from where you pressed against it and wrapped it around your shoulders, beckoning you into his embrace. 
“Please Bucky, I want to get down,” you whispered, one single tear rolling down your cheek as you spoke. You knew what you were asking wasn’t rational, but logic and reason were left on the ground below, along with your confidence. 
“Just focus on your breathing and focus on me,” He coached, making stupid deep-breathing gestures with his arms. 
“What about you? Focus on how much I hate you or the strong urge I have to punch you?” You fire back, not feeling at all comforted. If anything, that made it worse. You were slowly rising higher and higher and the pit in your stomach grew deeper and deeper. 
“Well I… was thinking more like something along the lines of this,” he murmured, taking your hands. He started to rub small circles into the skin of your hand with his thumb, “And this,” he said with the same soft intensity, the arm that was wrapped tightly around your shoulders, snaking itself around your waist, pulling you in closer to him. You could feel the heat radiating from his body, warming you from the breeze of being so high. And then Bucky made that stupid face that made you feel all warm and fluttery inside. So stupid…
Bucky watched as you calmed your breathing. He knew you’d probably uphold your promise to punch him when you got off, but it was worth it. You shivered at the cool temperature from being at the top of the ferris wheel. Bucky’s instincts pulled your closer to him; he was always warm, so you would always cuddle up to him. It was then that Bucky realized that he was still holding your hand and you were still staring at him with your stupid, doe eyes. 
And that’s when Bucky couldn’t take it anymore. 
All of freshman year, you and he had been dancing around each other, daring the other to just say something, but the two of you were probably the most stubborn people on the planet. He wasted all of freshman year flirting with other girls because he had too much pride to just admit that you were the only one for him. Fuck friendship, Bucky Barnes fell hard for you and he didn’t want to come up for air any time soon. 
“What’re you starin’ at, pretty boy?” you mumbled. 
“Killer, you’re gonna be the death of me.”
“Oh, just wait until we get off this damn—mphf!”
Lips connected to yours. The butterflies in your stomach that started flapping because of your sheer terror, began to fly for entirely different reasons. His lips were soft and gentle. You gripped his hand a little tighter and lifted your free one to drag it through his hair.
“Oh shit! Are you guys fucking making out!?” You could hear Clint’s voice two cars down. 
“Holy shit!” Tony. “Someone get a picture! Also, Thor owes me 20 bucks!”
“What!? You couldn’t have waited like another week, Barnes!?” Thor’s voice boomed. 
Bucky placed his hand on the side of his mouth and yelled down, “Stop betting on everything!” He sucked in his lip in annoyance and huffed at his friends’ commentary and his ruined moment with you. But you just chuckled.
“I think this is my new favorite ride,” you said and Bucky’s face lit up like a kid on Christmas morning. He placed his hands on the sides of your head and kissed your forehead.
“So does this mean you’re my girl, killer?” he mumbled against your head.
“I don’t know, James. I’m still pretty mad that you tricked me.”
“Didn’t you say you liked this ride now. I remember you calling it ‘your favorite ride,’” he said, bending his fingers in air quotes.
“I’m punching you when we get off this stupid machine, jerk.”
“If it means I get to kiss those pretty lips again, then hit me with your best shot.”
[Summer of 2020, 24 y/o.]
“We are now in New York City. This is 206 Livingston Street. Thank you for riding with Greyhound and we hope you have a good day.” 
The double-doors of the bus opened with a hiss and you gathered your bags after saying goodbye to the nice father who was taking his boys on a trip to the Big Apple for their summer vacation.
Your phone buzzed.
Today | 10:00 am
Wanda: Hey, just wanted to make sure you got here ok :) Y/N: I just got off. I’m headed to your apartment right now. Wanda: Are you sure you don’t want me to help you with your bags? Y/N: I’m ok. Just waiting for a cab.  Wanda: Ok, stay safe <3.  Wanda: And remember! Drinks at the Odinsons’ at 8, ok?  Y/N: Ok, I'll think about it… Are you sure he won't be there? Wanda: No, drama queen. He took an extra shift at the station anyway. Wanda: Be there! x
You stared at the apartment in front of you and thought about Wanda's last text. You were hesitant to go anyway. Seeing everyone again… It'd bring back too many memories that all involved him. Maybe Wanda was right. You were a drama queen. You couldn't even think his name without being upset. And even though you were in the largest city in America, you had a feeling it would be hard to avoid him. 
God, you couldn't believe you were back here. Six years ago, you swore you'd never come back to New York and here you were in the same place you started. 
Hopefully, Thor still made good drinks.
103 notes · View notes
davids69811 · 3 years
Text
Just How Cryptocurrency Works
In other words, cryptocurrency is digital cash, which is developed in such a way that it is safe and secure as well as anonymous in some circumstances. It is carefully connected with net that makes use of cryptography, which is basically a process where readable details is converted into a code that can not be cracked so as to tack all the transfers and purchases made.  Buy Ethereum Creditcard
Cryptography has a background going back to the The second world war, when there was a need to communicate in one of the most safe way. Since that time, an advancement of the very same has taken place and also it has ended up being digitalized today where various components of computer science and mathematical concept are being made use of for purposes of securing interactions, money as well as details online.
The initial cryptocurrency
The very initial cryptocurrency was introduced in the year 2009 and is still well known throughout the world. Much more cryptocurrencies have given that been presented over the past couple of years and today you can discover many offered online Buy Bitcoin EU.
Just how they function
This type of electronic money utilizes innovation that is decentralized so regarding enable the different customers to make payments that are secure and likewise, to store cash without necessarily making use of a name or perhaps going through a banks. They are generally operated on a blockchain. A blockchain is a public ledger that is distributed openly.
The cryptocurrency devices are normally created using a procedure that is described as mining. This usually involves making use of a computer power. Doing it in this manner resolves the mathematics issues that can be very complicated in the generation of coins. Customers are only permitted to acquire the currencies from the brokers and after that store them in cryptographic pocketbooks where they can invest them with excellent convenience.
Cryptocurrencies and also the application of blockchain innovation are still in the infant phases when thought about in financial terms. Even more uses might emerge in the future as there is no informing what else will be created. The future of negotiating on supplies, bonds as well as various other types of monetary assets might very well be traded utilizing the cryptocurrency and blockchain modern technology in the future EU.
Why use cryptocurrency?
Among the main characteristics of these currencies is the truth that they are secure and that they provide a privacy degree that you may not obtain anywhere else. There is no way in which a transaction can be reversed or forged. This is without a doubt the greatest reason that you must consider utilizing them Acquire Bitcoin EU.
The fees charged on this kind of money are likewise fairly low as well as this makes it an extremely trusted alternative when contrasted to the traditional currency. Given that they are decentralized in nature, they can be accessed by any individual unlike banks where accounts are opened up just by consent.
Cryptocurrency markets are offering a new money kind as well as sometimes the rewards can be fantastic. You might make a really small financial investment just to find that it has mushroomed into something terrific in a really short period of time. Nevertheless, it is still important to note that the market can be unpredictable too, and there are threats that are connected with getting EU.
Why Should You Sell Cryptocurrency?
The modern-day idea of cryptocurrency is coming to be incredibly popular amongst traders. An innovative principle introduced to the world by Satoshi Nakamoto as a side item came to be a hit. Decoding Cryptocurrency we comprehend crypto is something hidden as well as currency is a cash. It is a kind of money utilized in the block chain developed as well as stored. This is done through file encryption techniques in order to regulate the production and also confirmation of the money negotiated. Bit coin was the initial cryptocurrency which began Buy Bitcoin EU.
Cryptocurrency is just a part of the procedure of a digital database running in the virtual globe. The identification of the genuine person right here can not be figured out. Also, there is no centralized authority which regulates the trading of cryptocurrency. This currency amounts difficult gold maintained by people and the value of which is supposed to be getting raised by jumps and bounds. The digital system established by Satoshi is a decentralized one where just the miners deserve to make adjustments by validating the purchases launched. They are the only human touch carriers in the system.
Imitation of the cryptocurrency is not feasible as the whole system is based on tough core math and cryptographic problems. Only those people who can resolving these problems can make modifications to the database which is beside impossible. The deal once verified enters into the data source or the block chain which can not be turned around after that EU.
Cryptocurrency is just electronic money which is created with the assistance of coding method. It is based upon peer-to-peer control system. Allow us now understand just how one can be benefitted by trading in this market.
Can not be reversed or forged: Though lots of people can rebut this that the deals done are irreversible, however the best feature of cryptocurrencies is that once the purchase is confirmed. A brand-new block obtains added to the block chain and then the purchase can not be built. You become the proprietor of that block Purchase Bitcoin EU.
Online purchases: This not only makes it suitable for anyone being in any part of the globe to transact, yet it likewise relieves the speed with which purchase gets processed. As compared to actual time where you need 3rd parties to find right into the photo to get home or gold or take a loan, You only require a computer and a possible purchaser or seller in instance of cryptocurrency. This idea is simple, rapid and full of the leads of ROI.
The fee is reduced per purchase: There is reduced or no cost taken by the miners throughout the purchases as this is dealt with by the network EU.
Ease of access: The principle is so useful that all those people that have access to smartphones and also laptops can access the cryptocurrency market and also trade in it anytime anywhere. This access makes it even more rewarding. As the ROI is good, lots of nations like Kenya has presented the M-Pesa system permitting bit coin device which now allows 1 in every three Kenyans to have a bit coin budget with them Acquire Bitcoin EU.
Exactly How to Trade Cryptocurrencies - The Fundamentals of Buying Digital Currencies
Whether it's the idea of cryptocurrencies itself or diversification of their profile, people from all profession are investing in electronic currencies. If you're brand-new to the idea as well as questioning what's taking place, below are some fundamental principles and considerations for investment in cryptocurrencies EU.
What cryptocurrencies are offered and also just how do I get them?
With a market cap of about $278 billion, Bitcoin is one of the most well-known cryptocurrency. Ethereum is second with a market cap of over $74 billion. Besides these two currencies, there are a variety of various other alternatives too, consisting of Surge ($ 28B), Litecoin ($ 17B) and also MIOTA ($ 13B).
Being initially to market, there are a lot of exchanges for Bitcoin profession all over the world. BitStamp and Coinbase are two widely known US-based exchanges. Bitcoin.de is a well established European exchange. If you want trading other digital money in addition to Bitcoin, after that a crypto marketplace is where you will certainly find all the digital money in one location. Below is a checklist of exchanges according to their 24-hour profession volume Get Bitcoin EU.
What options do I have to store my cash?
Another essential factor to consider is storage space of the coins. One option, certainly, is to keep it on the exchange where you buy them. However, you will certainly have to be careful in picking the exchange. The popularity of digital money has caused numerous brand-new, unknown exchanges turning up anywhere. Make the effort to do your due persistance so you can prevent the scammers.
Another choice you have with cryptocurrencies is that you can keep them yourself. One of the best options for saving your investment is hardware purses. Business like Journal permit you store Bitcoins and also several various other electronic currencies also.
What's the marketplace like and also how can I learn more concerning it?
The cryptocurrency market rises and fall a lot. The volatile nature of the marketplace makes it much more suited for a long-lasting play.
6 Advantages of Buying Cryptocurrencies
The birth of bitcoin in 2009 opened up doors to investment chances in an entirely new sort of possession class - cryptocurrency. Lots got in the space method very early Buy Bitcoin EU.
Fascinated by the enormous capacity of these fledgling but appealing assets, they got cryptos at cheap costs. As a result, the bull run of 2017 saw them become millionaires/ billionaires. Also those that really did not risk much enjoyed decent revenues.
Three years later cryptocurrencies still stay rewarding, and the market is right here to stay. You might already be an investor/trader or perhaps considering attempting your luck. In both instances, it makes good sense to know the benefits of buying cryptocurrencies Purchase Bitcoin EU.
Cryptocurrency Has a Brilliant Future
According to a record entitled Imagine 2030, released by Deutsche Bank, credit report and debit cards will certainly become obsolete. Smart devices and various other digital tools will replace them.
Cryptocurrencies will no more be viewed as outcasts however choices to existing monetary systems. Their benefits, such as security, speed, minimal transaction costs, convenience of storage, and also significance in the electronic period, will be acknowledged.
Concrete governing standards would promote cryptocurrencies, as well as enhance their adoption. The report projections that there will certainly be 200 million cryptocurrency pocketbook users by 2030, as well as nearly 350 million by the year 2035.
Chance to be part of an Expanding Community
WazirX's #IndiaWantsCrypto campaign just recently completed 600 days. It has actually ended up being a massive motion sustaining the adoption of cryptocurrencies and blockchain in India.
Likewise, the recent Supreme Court judgment nullifying RBI's crypto banking restriction from 2018 has actually instilled a brand-new rush of confidence among Indian bitcoin and also cryptocurrency financiers.
The 2020 Edelman Count on Barometer Report additionally mentions individuals' increasing belief in cryptocurrencies and blockchain technology. According to the searchings for, 73% of Indians depend on cryptocurrencies and also blockchain technology. 60% say that the influence of cryptocurrency/blockchain will be positive.
By being a cryptocurrency investor, you stand to be a component of a successful as well as quickly expanding community Buy Bitcoin EU.
Boosted Earnings Potential
Diversification is a necessary financial investment thumb policy. Particularly, throughout these times when most of the possessions have incurred hefty losses due to economic challenges spurred by the COVID-19 pandemic.
While financial investment in bitcoin has actually offered 26% returns from the starting of the year to date, gold has returned 16%. Numerous various other cryptocurrencies have registered three-digit ROI. Securities market as we all recognize have posted depressing efficiencies. Petroleum costs infamously crashed below 0 in the month of April.
Consisting of bitcoin or any kind of various other cryptocurrencies in your portfolio would shield your fund's worth in such unpredictable worldwide market circumstances. This truth was likewise impressed upon by billionaire macro bush fund supervisor Paul Tudor Jones when a month back he revealed plans to purchase Bitcoin.
Cryptocurrency and Taxation Difficulties
Cryptocurrencies have remained in the news recently because tax obligation authorities think they can be used to launder cash and also avert taxes. Also the Supreme Court appointed an Unique Investigating Group on Black Cash advised that trading in such money be discouraged. While China was reported to have actually banned some its biggest Bitcoin trading operators, nations such as the UNITED STATES and Canada have laws in place to restrict supply trade in cryptocurrency.
What is Cryptocurrency?
Cryptocurrency, as the name recommends, utilizes encrypted codes to effect a purchase. These codes are acknowledged by various other computer systems in the user community. As opposed to utilizing fiat money, an on the internet ledger is upgraded by regular accounting entries. The purchaser's account is debited and also the seller's account is attributed with such currency.
Exactly How are Transactions Made on Cryptocurrency?
When a transaction is initiated by one individual, her computer system sends a public cipher or public key that interacts with the personal cipher of the person receiving the currency. If the receiver approves the deal, the initiating computer connects a piece of code onto a block of a number of such encrypted codes that is understood to every user in the network. Special users called 'Miners' can affix the added code to the publicly shared block by solving a cryptographic challenge and earn more cryptocurrency in the process. As soon as a miner verifies a deal, the record in the block can not be altered or erased.
BitCoin, as an example, can be utilized on mobile devices as well to establish purchases. All you need do is let the receiver check a QR code from an app on your mobile phone or bring them in person by using Near Field Communication (NFC). Keep in mind that this is very similar to ordinary on the internet pocketbooks such as PayTM or MobiQuick Acquire Bitcoin EU.
Die-hard customers speak highly of BitCoin for its decentralized nature, international approval, anonymity, permanence of transactions and also data security. Unlike paper currency, no Central Bank controls inflationary pressures on cryptocurrency. Purchase journals are stored in a Peer-to-Peer network. That suggests every computer chips in its computer power as well as copies of databases are stored on every such node in the network. Financial institutions, on the other hand, shop deal data in central repositories which remain in the hands of exclusive individuals worked with by the firm.
How Can Cryptocurrency be used for Money Laundering?
The very reality that there is no control over cryptocurrency purchases by Central Banks or tax obligation authorities indicates that transactions can not constantly be labelled to a certain individual. This suggests that we do not understand whether the transactor has acquired the shop of worth legitimately or not. The transactee's store is likewise suspect as no one can inform what consideration was provided for the currency got.
What does Indian Law State concerning such Virtual Currencies?
Virtual Money or cryptocurrencies are generally seen as items of software program and hence classify as a good under the Sale of Item Act, 1930.
Being an excellent, indirect tax obligations on their sale or purchase as well as GST on the solutions supplied by Miners would certainly apply to them.
There is still quite a bit of complication regarding whether cryptocurrencies stand as money in India as well as the RBI, which has authority over clearing up and settlement systems and also pre-paid negotiable tools, has absolutely not accredited buying and selling by means of this medium of exchange.
Any kind of cryptocurrencies gotten by a local in India would therefore be governed by the Fx Management Act, 1999 as an import of items right into this nation.
India has actually enabled the trading of BitCoins in Unique Exchanges with integrated safeguards for tax evasion or money-laundering tasks as well as enforcement of Know Your Consumer norms. These exchanges consist of Zebpay, Unocoin as well as Coinsecure.
Those investing in BitCoins, as an example, are liable to be charged on dividends received.
Capital gains received because of sale of securities entailing Virtual currencies are also reliant be tired as earnings and also following online filing of IT returns.
1 note · View note
honeyhellsbells · 4 years
Text
First love - Jumin Han fluff
This isn’t anything requested, but I liked the Jumin first date headcanons quite a lot and decided to write a little something about it. I hope you guys like it :)
Jumin was head over heels, utterly in love. Admittedly, everything seemed a little rushed but it had not taken much to make him certain when it came to his feelings. He was a serious man that demanded respect whether or not he outright said it, from the way he dressed to his posture, everything screamed dominance. And there she was, his precious little sweetheart, who never hesitated to reprimand him if he was too harsh, guided him when he did not now how to cope with his emotions and also didn't hesitate to jump up on his back when they were in private to be carried around.
If commoner life was confusing to him, she was nothing short of an enigma. How she was so well versed in aspects of his life he never thought about and absolutely couldn't understand aspect that were clearly obvious to him, it never ceased to amaze him. She enjoyed some luxuries he was happy to provide, and some she vehemently rejected, things like jewelry she didn't deem necessary or spontaneous trips to another country which he was rather fond of.
But they always managed to find a compromise, still always trudging around the more expensive side of life. Tonight things were supposed to be different though. With his measurements and credit card in hand she had gone out shopping for the day with the goal to make him blend in with her world. With the colorful and sometimes dirty world that smelled of cotton candy, greasy food, bad movies, spilled drinks and freedom.
Having been contained to his secure, comfortable and suffocating bubble all of his life, he was practically bouncing on his heels, checking his clock minute after minute, counting down the seconds until she would finally return to him. Elizabeth the 3rd twitched awake on her pillow next to him and raised her head towards the noise as the elevator pinged and opened, revealing his beloved partner. She was carrying several bags, most of them plastic unlike the sturdy paper he was used to and beaming from ear to ear.
„I cannot wait to see you in the things I got for you. I'm sure you're gonna love it.“ Knowing her, he would either look incredible by the end of this little fashion show, or would just want to throw himself head first into the fireplace. She revealed clothing item after clothing item, having made sure to give him a variety of things to chose from, most of them in muted and dark colors, some of them outrageously colorful. „You just need to try them on so I can see if I need to take something back. And so I can make sure that we match when we go out tomorrow.“
Her thoughts often mesmerized him for the simplest reasons. Was it common for people to just buy things that might not fit only to bring them back if they don't? Did couples often match their outfits? He was shook out of his train of thought when she just straddled his lap where he was sitting, realizing that he wasn't paying attention to her anymore. His hands instinctively flew to her backside where her skirt had slipped up a dangerous amount to make sure she didn't somehow fall off the sofa again.
He chuckled a little when she began to press kiss after kiss to his face, purposefully missing his lips and asking if he was listening to her between each of them. „You just never cease to amaze me. I'm sure that I will love whatever garment you have chosen for me.“ He doubted that the moment his eyes fell on a borderline neon pink polo shirt but he still trusted her decision. „How about you help me put together some outfits to try on?“
In the end they picked three separate outfits they were both happy with, all three of them with jeans in different shades of blue, one of them even distressed to the point of being ripped, paired with either a shirt and cardigan or a dress shirt. „My my...I might not be able to let you go out like that.“ She was on her tip toes, looking at him from over his shoulder as he observed himself in the mirror. „What do you mean?“ He jumped a little as her hands went straight to his butt, giving him a pat before wrapping her arms around his middle, pressing herself against his back as closely as she could. „The ladies and gentleman out there might just jump your bones if they see you looking like that. You're just too handsome I'm afraid.“ He let out a little chuckle at that before turning in her embrace to hug her against him.
„And yet I would not have anyone by my side except for you.“ They shared a chaste kiss, Jumin was still a little hesitant when it came to showing affection that went beyond hugs and cuddles, but slowly and surely they worked their way forward to get him more comfortable in their relationship. After a relatively simple dinner for Jumins standards and a few glasses of wine, he called his personal chauffeur Driver Kim to escort her home. While he had an interior designer prepare a guest room just for her, most nights she spent over when it had gotten too late, she had ended up in his bed anyway. He never really minded and found himself feeling far more rested than if he slept alone.
This night however they were bound to sleep in their own beds, only to spend the entire next day together. As the CEO in line it wasn't as easy for him to take a day off and if he did, he did intend to enjoy it to it's fullest. And tomorrow that would mean to spend a day as a commoner, roaming the shopping districts, eating cheap food from street vendors and maybe go to some sort of club to end the night, whatever tickled her fancy he would endure.
Jumin woke up feeling giddy like he never had before and when he usually dreaded leaving his bed on his days off, today he couldn't get out and into the shower fast enough. Sure, they had set a specific time at which they would meet, but keeping himself busy made the time fly by much faster. He choked down a small breakfast, texted her about his outfit choice, got some work done and finally he could head to the elevator to where she was already waiting in the lobby.
His heart skipped a beat when he laid eyes on her, dressed in a feminine version of his own outfit, with a skirt instead of pants, the same sweater in another the contrasting color and with the same beanie that was resting on his own head. „You look so cute!“ She gushed when she rushed towards him, taking a quick around his form to look at him from all sides. He grinned as she nearly bounced on her heels in excitement, much like he was feeling and pinched her cheek before taking her hand to lead her outside. „Not as cute as you.“
His excitement soon dampened a little when they approached the subway station. He had heard many things about the subway and none of them were good, causing a slight nervous ache in his stomach to build. Sure he knew that two of his personal bodyguards were not too far away, so perfectly blending into the crowd that not even his girlfriend, who knew the two men personally, had noticed them, but the feeling persisted.
„I take the subway almost every day. You're gonna be fine Jumin.“ She quickly pecked him on the cheek before she turned back to the ticket machine, feeding it a few bills for two small paper rectangles that she pocketed for him. They spent the few minutes of wait time studying the subway map, something he had never really paid attention to.
The actual train ride was almost worse than he had imagined. The smell of too many people in too little space made him wrinkle his nose, he didn't want to know what kind of diseases the pole he was forced to hold onto was carrying and he was quite sure that some of the hands that had pressed against his butt were NOT accidental.
A plus side however was that he had every excuse to hold onto his companion, who had to stand very close because of the limited space and had nothing but him to hold onto. The public cuddle time was new but not unwelcome and yet both of them were more than happy to finally leave the cramped metal contraption.
„Hm, what are we going to do first...“ She clearly wasn't in any hurry, strolling about with his hand back in hers until she had an idea, gently tugging him along. „There's some stalls around the shopping district where I live, I think you might like that!“ He sure did like it, the tiny crowded booths, filled to the brim with odds and ends, cheap jewelry and decorative pieces, to clothing and even food.
They walked up and down the street, looking at the booths with less people and returned to the others on the way back. „What about this one?“ She held a delicate bracelet in her hands, braided strings with beads and tiny bells. They jingled softly as she shook it even a little. „They have different colors so we could both get one!“ He wasn't too sure about wearing a bracelet with bells but decided to humor her and allowed her to purchase two of them.
It was an odd feeling around his wrist but watching her delight as he copied her shaking her wrist to make the bells ring made it worth it. They strolled around for about two more hours before resting a little at a small café for some much needed food and drink and by the time they had decided to leave, it was already dark outside.
„Oh we have to hurry now, I wasn't watching the time!“ She urgently tugged at his sweater as he put his jacket on, back to bouncing on her heels in impatience. They rushed by the many people heading to the nearest bar and club, almost losing his bodyguards in the throng, but soon the crowd thinned out and he saw her destination.
Once they had made their way into the park, the crowd became more dense again, but they were not heading to the center of attention anyway. The further away they got the darker it became and he quickly gave his bodyguards a sign that they would be fine for now as they climbed a hill that oversaw most of the park. „I've been coming here for a while now, they have concerts every weekend and from here you have the best vantage point and still nobody is ever here.“
They stopped at a large tree with some flat ground in front of it. She produced a blanket from her backpack, spreading it out on the ground for them to sit on. „Let's get comfortable, the band should start soon. I really like them, they play here rather often too.“ It just seemed so surreal to him, having grown up with everything he could wish for, never having to ask for anything and yet here he was, cuddling with the love of his life sitting on the ground of a park to listen to a band play in the center of it. And it was the happiest he had been in a long time, if not at all.
He had often wondered how his life would turn out, would he marry the daughter of another rich businessman, never really feeling loved despite ending up fathering an heir or two? Would he end up like his father, marrying woman after woman to get the affection he so craved but never received?
No.
He had made his decision weeks, if not months ago, but never quite sure when the right moment would present itself. Even now he felt the hard little box digging into his chest in his jacket pocket, screaming at him to finally overcome his nerves. Having her cuddling into him, her legs thrown over his to get as close as possible, he finally made up his mind. There was no need for grand gestures, not with her, nothing about their relationship was as traditional as he was taught to idolize and he was quite content with that. She looked up in confusion as he shifted and he couldn't contain his smile as her eyes grew large the moment she saw the small box in his hand.
„I have been thinking long about how I would go about this, I am so used to grand proposals that I kept thinking up occasions most fitting, writing up speeches in my mind but no scenario really felt right when I thought about you, about us. It didn't took long into our relationship for me to know that you are the one I want to spend my life with, no matter what my family or society might say.“
Her breath hitched a little and he tilted her chin up, wiping away one of the tears that had already started to fall from her lashes.
„But being with you made me realize that their opinion is not important in any thing that concerns our relationship. I was told all my life that I would end up like my father, but you showed me that even I am not only capable of loving someone but being loved as well. I intend to give you many more gifts than this ring, but I don't think there is anything greater you could ever give me than your love. I know that this relationship is not perfect, nor will it ever be but if it means that I get to be with you even a moment longer I will move heaven or hell to make you happy. I cannot think of anything that would make me happier than sharing not only everything I own with you but my name as well. Will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?“
He had barely finished his question when she suddenly brought him in for a kiss, her cheeks still wet from happy tears, portraying all the emotions she didn't trust her voice to carry. „Of course. Of course I will!“ They shared some more kisses, more passionate than ever before until their lips were swollen and their cheeks red. The ring fit perfectly, of course it did. It was a simple ring, gold with a small diamond in the middle, engraved with both of their names. They both marveled at the thin band for a few more moments, sharing the occasional kiss when the band announced their final song for the evening.
„May I have this dance?“ They helped each other up and embraced each other for the slow song until Jumin lifted her a little to stand on his feet, swaying and spinning the both of them along to the melody until the last chords faded into the night.
97 notes · View notes
baddadjokez · 5 years
Text
514 Dad Jokes
What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.​I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.​Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.​Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!​I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.​What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.​How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.​I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.​Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.​I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.​My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.​Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.​How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.​What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.​Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.​There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.​What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.​What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.​Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.​Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.​How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.​The shovel was a ground breaking invention.​A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."​A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."​Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.​What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.​I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.​What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.​I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.​Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.​Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"​Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.​What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.​Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.​What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.​What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.​What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.​A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.​After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.​I used to be afraid of hurdles, but I got over it.​To write with a broken pencil is pointless.​I read a book on anti-gravity. I couldn’t put it down.​I couldn’t remember how to throw a boomerang but it came back to me.​What should you do if you are cold? Stand in the corner. It’s 90 degrees.​How does Moses make coffee? Hebrews it.​The energizer bunny went to jail. He was charged with battery.​What did the alien say to the pitcher of water? Take me to your liter.​What happens when you eat too many spaghettiOs? You have a vowel movement.​The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray was a seasoned veteran.​Sausage puns are the wurst.​What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.​Why shouldn’t you trust atoms? They make up everything.​What’s it called when you have too many aliens? Extraterrestrials.​Want to hear a pizza joke? Nevermind, it’s too cheesy.​What do cows tell each other at bedtime? Dairy tales.​Why can’t you take inventory in Afghanistan? Because of the tally ban.​Why didn’t the lion win the race? Because he was racing a cheetah.​What happens to nitrogen when the sun comes up? It becomes daytrogen.​What’s it called when you put a cow in an elevator? Raising the steaks.​What’s america’s favorite soda? Mini soda.​Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.​What kind of car does a sheep drive? Their SuBAHHru.​What do you call a french pig? Porque.​What do you call a line of rabbits marching backwards? A receding hairline.​Why don’t vampires go to barbecues? They don’t like steak.​How do trees access the internet? They log on.​Why should you never trust a train? They have loco motives.​Is your refrigerator running? Better go catch it.​The future,the present and the past walked into a bar.Things got a little tense.​I saw an ad for burial plots, and thought to myself this is the last thing I need.​I just found out I'm colorblind. The diagnosis came completely out of the purple.​I'd tell you a chemistry joke but I know I wouldn't get a reaction.​Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It's very time consuming.​I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.​Read enough of our funny puns, and you'll be punstoppable.​Yesterday a clown held the door for me. It was a nice jester.​I used to go fishing with Skrillex but he kept dropping the bass.​The wedding was so emotional even the cake was in tiers.​What does a house wear? A dress.​Why can't bicycles stand up on their own? Since they are 2 tired.​I owe a lot to the sidewalks. They’ve been keeping me off the streets for years.​Imagine if alarm clocks hit you back in the morning.It would be truly alarming.​Why is a skeleton a bad liar? You can see right through it.​What do you receive when you ask a lemon for help? Lemonaid.​A man sued an airline company after it lost his luggage. Sadly, he lost his case.​What does a dog say when he sits down on a piece of sandpaper? Ruff!​What do you call crystal clear urine? 1080pee.​At my boxing club there is only one punch bag. I hate waiting for the punch line!​An untalented gymast walks into a bar.​Einstein developed a theory about space, and it was about time too.​I was accused of being a plagiarist, their word not mine.​My friends say they don’t like skeleton puns. I should put more backbone into them.​Let me FILL you in on my trip to the dentist.​Why does the singer of Cheap Thrills not want us to Sia?​Traveling on a flying carpet is a rugged experience.​Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.​The old woman who lived in a shoe wasn’t the sole owner,there were strings attached.​Did you hear about the crime in the parking garage? It was wrong on so many levels.​My new diet consists of aircraft, its a bit plane.​Have you ever tried to milk a cow which has been cut in half? Udder madness.​Why are there fences on graveyards? Because people are dying to get in.​Why do trees have so many friends? They branch out.​Models of dragons are not to scale.​Never discuss infinity with a mathematician, they can go on about it forever.​Why don’t some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don’t work out.​Don’t trust people that do acupuncture, they’re back stabbers.​A persistent banker wouldn’t stop hitting on me so I asked him to leave me a loan.​I ordered a book of puns last week, but i didn't get it.​People say i look better without glasses but i just can't see it.​Don’t judge a meal by the look of the first course. It’s very souperficial.​I heard Donald Trump is going to ban shredded cheese, and make America grate again.​I relish the fact that you’ve mustard the strength to ketchup to me.​What do you call a young musician? A minor.​Police were called to a daycare yesterday, where a 2-year-old was resisting a rest.​If artists wear sketchers do linguists wear converse?​I changed my iPod name to Titanic. It’s syncing now.​Jill broke her finger today, but on the other hand she was completely fine.​I smeared some ketchup all over my eyes once. It was a bad idea in Heinz- sight.​I flipped a coin over an issue the other day, it was quite the toss-up.​I got hit in the head with a can of soda? Luckily it was a soft drink.​I heard that the post office was a male dominated industry.​Why isn’t suntanning an Olympic sport? Because the best you can ever get is bronze.​What do you mean June is over? Julying.​Why is Kylo Ren so angry? Beause he’s always Ben Solo.​These reversing cameras are great. Since I got one I haven’t looked back.​The candle quit his job because he felt burned out.​Our maintenance guy lost his legs on the job, now he’s just a handyman.​Going to bed with music on gave him sound sleep.​A magic tractor drove down the road and turned into a field!​I met some aliens from outer space. They were pretty down to earth.​The plane flight brought my acrophobia to new heights.​My phone has to wear glasses ever since it lost its contacts.​I, for one, like Roman numerals.​How do mountains see? They peak.​The show was called Spongebob Squarepants but everyone knows the star was Patrick.​This is not alcohol, water you thinking?!​Novice pirates make terrible singers because they can’t hit the high seas.​I told my friend she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.​The earth's rotation really makes my day.​If I buy a bigger bed will I have more or less bedroom?​Two peanuts were walking in a tough neighborhood and one of them was a-salted.​Two ropes were walking in a tough neighborhood and one of them was a-frayed.​What kind of shoes do ninjas wear? Sneakers.​I got a master’s degree in being ignored; no one seems to care.​After eating the ship, the sea monster said, I can’t believe I ate the hull thing.​Smaller babies may be delivered by stork but the heavier ones need a crane.​A bartender broke up with her boyfriend, but he kept asking her for another shot.​I had a pun about insanity but then I lost it.​He couldn’t work out how to fix the washing machine so he threw in the towel.​Why does the man want to buy nine rackets? Cause tennis too many.​Why don’t cannibals eat clowns? Because they taste funny.​If I got paid in lots of Pennes I would make loads of pasta.​I thought I saw a spider on my laptop, but my friend said it was just a bug.​A doctor broke his leg while auditioning for a play.Luckily he still made the cast.​The tale of the haunted refrigerator was chilling.​Why are frogs so happy? They eat whatever bugs them.​If you wear cowboy clothes are you ranch dressing?​I was addicted to the hokey pokey but I turned myself around.​Simba, you're falling behind. I must ask you to Mufasa.​I bought a wooden whistle but it wooden whistle.​The bomb didn't want to go off. So it refused.​The sore mummy needed a Cairo-practor​I feel sorry for shopping carts. They’re always getting pushed around.​The display of still-life art was not at all moving!​On Halloween October is nearly Octover.​Pig puns are so boaring.​Why couldn’t the dead car drive into the cluttered garage? Lack of vroom.​What do you call Samsung's security guards? Guardians of the Galaxy.​What does Superman have in his drink? Just ice.​How does a penguin build it’s house? Igloos it together.​Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.​The safe was invented by a cop and a robber. It was quite a combination.​What do you do when balloons are hurt? You helium.​One hat says to the other, "You stay here, I’ll go on a head."​How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles.​When does a farmer dance? When he drops the beet.​When the scientist wanted to clone a deer, he bought a doe it yourself kit.​If people ask how many puns I made in Germany I reply, "nein"​Did you hear about the invention of the white board? It was remarkable.​If Donald Trump becomes president, America is going toupee.​Can February March? No, but April May.​I hate Russian Dolls, they are so full of themselves.​What do you do to an open wardrobe? You closet.​The magazine about ceiling fans went out of business due to low circulation.​So what if I don’t know what apocalypse means? It’s not the end of the world!​Some aquatic mammals at the zoo escaped. It was otter chaos.​A backwards poem writes inverse.​Getting the ability to fly would be so uplifting.​I asked my friend, Nick, if he had 5 cents I could borrow. But he was Nicholas.​The soundtrack for Blackfish was orcastrated.​Where do you imprison a skeleton? In a rib cage.​There’s a fine line between the numerator and the denominator.​I used to work at a hairdresser but i just wasn’t cut out for it.​Why is metal and a microwave a match made in heaven? When they met, sparks flew.​The lumberjack loved his new computer. He especially enjoyed logging in.​Garbage collectors are rubbish drivers!​When the church relocated it had an organ transplant.​Lettuce take a moment to appreciate this salad pun.​The scarecrow get promoted because he was outstanding in his field.​Sleeping comes so naturally to me, I could do it with my eyes closed.​I never understood odorless chemicals, they never make scents.​What do prisoners use to call each other? Cell phones.​Why was dumbo sad? He felt irrelephant.​When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.​Old skiers never die. They just go down hill.​Did you hear about the pun that was actually funny? Neither have we.​You know why I like egg puns? They crack me up!​Want to hear a pun about ghosts? That's the spirit!​I used to make clown shoes… which was no small feat.​Did you hear about the human cannonball? Too bad he got fired!​What happened when the magician got mad? She pulled her hare out!​Did you hear about the circus that caught on fire? It was in tents.​The one day of the week that eggs are definitely afraid of is Fry-day.​A hen will always leave her house through the proper eggs-it.​The man who ate too many eggs was considered to be an egg-oholic.​All the hens consider the chef to be very mean because he beats the eggs.​Eskimos keep all of their chilled eggs inside of the egg-loo.​Under the doctor’s advice, the hen is laying off eggs for a few weeks.​I had a real problem making a hard-boiled egg this morning until I cracked it.​The best time of day to eat eggs is at the crack of dawn.​The chicken coop only had 2 doors since if it had 4 doors it would be a sedan.​Crossing a cement mixer and a chicken will result in you getting a brick layer.​That reckless little egg always seems to egg-celerate when he sees the light turn yellow.​Hopefully this egg pun doesn't make your brain too fried or scrambled.​Don't ever have multiple people wash dishes together. It's hard for them to stay in sink.​People using umbrellas always seem to be under the weather.​I dissected an iris today. It was an eye-opening experience.​What was Forrest Gump’s email password? 1forrest1.​What planet is like a circus? Saturn, it has three rings!​Before my father died he worked in a circus as a stilt walker. I used to look up to him.​Why did the lion eat the tightrope walker? He wanted a well-balanced meal!​I really look up to my tall friends.​I hate negative numbers and will stop at nothing to avoid them.​Long fairy tales have a tendency to dragon.​It takes guts to make a sausage.​Why shouldn’t you give Elsa a balloon? Because she’ll “Let It Go”!​What do you call cheese that’s not yours? Nacho cheese!​How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it​What do you get when a witch goes to the beach? A sand-witch!​Where do cows go on Friday nights? To the mooooo-vies!​What did the mommy tomato say to the baby tomato? C’mon, ketchup!​Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because he wasn’t “peeling” well!​What did one snowman say to the other? Do you smell carrots?​Why didn’t the skeleton go to the dance? Because he had no body to go with!​What is a pirate’s favorite letter? Arrrrrr!​What does a piece of toast wear to bed? His pa-JAM-as!​What does one eye say to the other eye? Something between us smells​Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide!​What happens when an egg laughs? It cracks up!​What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!​Why didn’t the teddy bear want dessert? Because he was stuffed!​Why can’t you tell a joke while ice skating? Because the ice might crack up!​What do you call a pig that knows karate? A pork chop!​What’s mommy and daddy’s favorite ride at the carnival? A married-go-round!​How did Cookie Monster feel after eating all the cookies? Pretty crummy!​What do you call a skunk who flies in a helicopter? A smelly-copter!​What do you get when you shake a cow? A milkshake!​How do you catch a squirrel? Climb up a tree and act like a nut!​Why did the bee get married? Because she found her honey!​What did the ocean say to their airplane? Nothing, it just waved!​Where do eskimo pigs live? In pig-loos.​What’s a dinosaur called when it’s sleeping? A dino-snore!​What did the cookie say to the annoying cookie? Crumb on!​Why did Mickey Mouse go up in space? To find Pluto!​What does Olaf eat for lunch? Icebergers!​What letter is always wet? The C!​How do you throw a space party? You planet.​How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.​Nope. Unintended.​The shovel was a ground breaking invention, but everyone was blow away by the leaf blower.​A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."​A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says "Make me one with everything."​Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.​What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.​The broom swept the nation away.​I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.​What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back for seconds.​What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.​I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.​Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.​Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says “Do you smell fish?”​Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded in france? There was nothing but des brie.​Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.​What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.​Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.​What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.​What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.​What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.​A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.​After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.​I used to be afraid of hurdles, but I got over it.​To write with a broken pencil is pointless.​I read a book on anti-gravity. I couldn’t put it down.​I couldn’t remember how to throw a boomerang but it came back to me.​What did the buffalo say to his son? Bison.​What should you do if you’re cold? Stand in the corner. It’s 90 degrees.​How does Moses make coffee? Hebrews it.​The energizer bunny went to jail. He was charged with battery.​What did the alien say to the pitcher of water? Take me to your liter.​What happens when you eat too many spaghettiOs? You have a vowel movement.​The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray was a seasoned veteran.​Sausage puns are the wurst.​What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.​How did Darth Vader know what luke was getting him for his birthday? He could sense his presence.​Why shouldn’t you trust atoms? They make up everything.​What’s the difference between a bench, a fish, and a bucket of glue? You can’t tune a bench but you can tuna fish. I bet you got stuck on the bucket of glue part.​What’s it called when you have too many aliens? Extraterrestrials.​Want to hear a pizza joke? Nevermind, it’s too cheesy.​What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.​What do cows tell each other at bedtime? Dairy tales.​Why can’t you take inventory in Afghanistan? Because of the tally ban.​Why didn’t the lion win the race? Because he was racing a cheetah.​Why did the man dig a hole in his neighbor’s backyard and fill it with water? Because he meant well.​What happens to nitrogen when the sun comes up? It becomes daytrogen.​What’s it called when you put a cow in an elevator? Raising the steaks.​What’s america’s favorite soda? Mini soda.​Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.​What kind of car does a sheep drive? A lamborghini, but if that breaks down they drive their SuBAHHru.
373 notes · View notes