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unlimitedtrees · 10 months

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'spark the electric jester 3' is The 3d platformer of All Time. and im tired of pretending its not .

first off, two things: one. Please look at this video by Tukepuikko Immediately . it is the most sick video of All Time. Second Off... im putting this in my little #TreesThinks tag cus this is a big post that i want people to See !

So . i have become a heavy shill for spark 3. i have put nearly 60 hours into this game (at the time of me reposting this on tumblr, over 100 hours). it is the most Fun 3d game ive ever played in My Life. there is Nothing Like It. i love it a lot and i want more of it to exist, and i want more people to play it so that more of it can exist.

before i get into me whole thoughts about it, iwill just say that is The Best Controlling 3D Platformer Ever , Has Combat With Actual Depth , The Best Levels Of All Time , And Has A REALLY Silly Story That Is Worth Experiencing Blind. okay. if youre interested click da 'read more' thingy. i DARE YOU !!!

so. if u dont know, spark 3 is created by a guy named lake. he made a bunch of old sonic fangames and then made two entire games almost entirely by himself. im not that big a fan of Most of his earlier games, but they have a lot of aspects of them that no other game does ... but This Game in particular does just the specific kind of things i like that makes me Love It Alot. Also , keep in mind the fact that this game is Mostly made by one(1) guy . it will make sense for some of its Issues which i will get into.

So. first off , the controls. It is The Best Controlling Thing Ever. Of Course, being one of those Sonic Inspired thingys, it has really nice Physics and you can interact with slopes and the terrain really nicely... u can do silly tricks off slopes to reach crazy heights or gain tons of speed. it feels really nice and is something i wish was in every game because its my favorite thing ever. And the base movement (as in, running and jumping) feels Really Good... ur turning while running at high speeds feels Good and just Jumping Around the world feels Nice and Responsive. but that is not the Whole Reason why this game's movement is the best.

its the best because of your Options and Abilities... and that u can actually Recover and do Cool Things with ur abilities. you not only have a double jump, homing attack, and a dash, but u have a 'charged jester dash' and a down dash and a Wall Run which feels Really Well and a wall jump, along with special abilities you can buy in the shop with 'bits', such as an Energy Dash (a powerful dash which spends energy), a 'Jester Swipe' (basically the light speed dash but it Adds to ur speed when u use it), and separate characters with their own movement abilities (such as a character who can float and a character who has Two air dashes). all of these moves (and more) combined can be used for Crazy movement in the levels.. as u can see in the video i posted above. not only can u go Really Fast in this game (which controls Really Good), but you can use it to move around the world and reach crazy heights AND safely recover in case u make a mistake... u have tons of Options and they all feel Really Good and i Love it. moving around the levels in this game feels So Good and i wish more games had Good Movement that lets u Explore the levels nicely.....

Which, Brings me onto the Levels. the levels in this game are Huge. playing them casually and just goin from start to finish will last from 3 to 4 minutes in Most of the main stages... but if u like to spend time exploring levels and messing around doing dumb tricks and stuff, then this game is for you because a ton of the levels in this game are Massive. i have spent from 30 minutes to Over An Hour on some stages just Exploring them and there are Still things i have yet to find... and theyre actually Fun to move around and explore and theres actually cool things to find in the levels (such as exploration medals which help later in the game and also various other collectibles and even Enemies u can find. its great). even in the smaller side stages there is still a lot to find and mess around in. Basically , if you see something in any level, you can Get There and find something there. nearly everything has collision in most of these levels. and there are hardly any kill planes. anyways um yea. these levels are huge and fun to play in and have a ton of stuff in them and are nice and i like them. i want more games with levels that are Fun to explore !!!

anyways. next up i want to talkabout the combat. there are two types of enemies: weak enemies which u can just take out with a homing attack or a shot from ur finger gun (something which u equip in da shop). these weak enemies are pretty alright, u cant just mindlessly homing attack some of them as some of them have moves u have to avoid. but then there are Stronger enemies, such as the ones scattered in the levels or the ones in the boss fights. These enemies have health bars and more attacks than the weak enemies. In this game , uhave a heavy attack and a light attack, along with a ton of combo moves (some of which u can buy in da shop, as well as other playable characters having their own combos). you also have a bunch of extra powers u can equip which are really useful in combat, such as a powerful gun and an explosion move. Strong enemies have attacks which u can parry (along with ones that u cant), and if u perform a perfect parry u can stun the enemy and are given a little bit of energy which is Useful (u can also just. Hold the parry button to just block certain attacks, which makes things a bit easier).

Now , if u were like me in my first playthrough, u can just Ignore all of that and just spam the attack buttons and just play on easy difficulty and clear through the entire game. In Fact, a lot of the 'mandatory' fights in the levels can be Skipped in various ways (just look up the speedruns of this game and youll see what i mean). However, theres actually a Lot of depth to the combat in this game and its actually pretty fun , and when u actually Try in the combat you can actually kill enemies Quicker than just spamming attacks.

first off, the actual Fights in this game arent as brain dead as spark 2 where u can basically just Hold parry and spam the attacks to win... even when u spam attacks in this game u actually have to Dodge certain attacks (as , as i mentioned earlier, some moves cant be parried). Secondly.. this game has a Combo Meter which, when filled up by doing unique combos, adds a Damage Multiplier which can be used to end fights a Lot Quickly. also.. the combos u can actually pull off in this game are pretty Sick. its not as crazy as something like devil may cry... but the game was Inspired by it and u can actually Juggle enemies by launching them in the air with certain moves.. and u cant just keep an enemy juggled in the air forever... u have to actually put Effort into pulling off cool stuff.. and people have done cool stuff... just see the Skill Contest that was done for this game.. people have done some Crazy shit ! one last thing ill mention about da combat (For Now) is that pulling off the perfect parry is really satisfying... thats all Lol.

last of da positive things i will get into is da Presentation and Story . this game is Pretty. it is a Huge step up from spark 2... the characters look Good and the animation looks Good and the levels look Good. the music is Really Good with some cool tracks... though personally it isnt as good as the Literal Perfect Soundtracks that are the Spark 1 and 2 osts along with the Sonic Before and After the Sequel soundtracks......

Oh Wait , one more little thing i should mention... the speed run of this game is Crazy . this game has Insane Tech that is fun to pull off while not being totally easy or game breaking. just watch some of the any% speedruns to see what i mean.... this game is crazy.

Anyways , for the Story ... i will not get into spoilers as i think its best experienced blind. during most of the game, there isnt a whole lot of cutscenes or interesting stuff going on unfortunately .... the only thing going on is the backstory infodumps that happen after a few bosses which. arent that great and go on for Way too long. HOWEVER . at the very last level , the game DUMPS a TON of cutscenes on you and all sorts of INSANE and crazy ass shit happens in it. it is one of the most Passionate endings to a game ive ever seen... it does So Much. you will either Really Really Love it or kind of hate it. and i think its perfect because of that. it is a funny little ride and its worth going through i think.

so. all of those reasons are why i think the game is one of my favorites right now. there is just nothing else like it. However, the game Does have quite a bit of problems that you might not like. after beating the game, its easy to ignore all of them when replaying, but on ur first playthrough u might either Really Really Love this game or Not Like it by the end of it.

First Off, there is a mechanic which doesnt really become a problem until the last two levels. this game has Fall Damage. now. You Might Love It or Really Really Hate It. personally ... i Like it but wish it had more going on. you see... after reaching a certain fall speed and hitting the ground, u take a bit of damage. But Also , if u Fall For Too Long a little timer will appear. when this timer is out, you Die. the reason this is done is so that you cant just fall straight down in the more vertical levels in this game (particularly the last two). you actually have to work around the level in order to reach the bottom of the final levels ... But you can also cancel ur fall speed by using your moves such as the double jump and dash in mid-air. Now, Conceptually, i think its Kind Of Interesting... as all of your moves become a resource which u have to manage in order to get down in the vertical levels. and i think if there was more going on in these vertical levels (such as things in the air you have to avoid), it could lead to some very interesting and complex gameplay. In Fact , the speedruns of this game are very interesting in that speedrunners have to Abuse the falling timer in order to get as far down as you can in the last two levels. it leads to interesting routing, and with how massive these levels are there are Tons of possibilities for routes u can take.

However, the last two levels have some Problems. the second to last one, Deep Descent, is a Huge vertical level where u have to descend down a massive, challenging level. and it is a really fun level to explore and the actual parts where ur Running on normal ground is nice and challenging... but when u enter the parts where u need to Fall.... there isnt a whole lot going on. there are weird loop thingys which slow ur fall speed, but aside from that there is Nothing else going on in the air. no enemies, no obstacles to dodge in the air... nothing. i understand most of the level not being full of things in the air, as this level is Huge and this game being developed by One Guy means there is only So Much you can do... but i wish there were like floating spikeballs or something that u have to avoid when ur falling in this level... cus aside from that there isnt much challenge when ur playing the level casually. the only challenge is to Not Let The Timer Run Out... which i can see why people dont like it. But, when going thru this level and abusing the falling mechanics to Skip most of the level and successfully falling to a place without dying is Pretty Fun to me, i just wish the falling mechanic was Used more. other than that... Deep Descent is pretty fine, however casually it goes on for nearly 11 minutes.. and there are some points where even the main parts of the level dont have a whole lot going on.

And That Leads me to the Final Level...... Utopia Shelter. and ill tell you: You Will Either Really Love It.... Or Really Really REALLY Hate it. First Off , this level has a Lives system. u gain more lives from collecting medals and beating more stages. the point of the lives system is so that you actually have to get good at the game in order to get to the ending. And well ... i am Unsure how to feel about it. i think the Idea of it is kind of alright ... it's supposed to encourage u to get good at the game in order to take on the final ultimate challenge that this level is supposed to be. it's supposed to add Weight to the final level... making every death meaningful and encouraging you to be more careful. But In Practice... not only is it a really cheap way of doing that, but its execution doesnt really Add anything to the game. if youre pretty Good or Decent at the game, youre only going to die a few times at most (i dont even think ive seen the game over screen myself before). but if youre Bad at the game and didnt get enough medals, this stage is going to be very Frustrating and a Huge roadblock. it doesnt help that at the very beginning you have to fight the hardest boss in the entire game.

and then there's the actual level itself. where do i even begin. So, it is The longest level in the game. it is supposed to be a massive journey that will last you almost 30 minutes when playing casually (and not game overing) just to Beat the Level itself. and you have lives on top of it. Now , with the way the game hypes up this level as being The Hardest and Longest challenge in the game, i was really looking forward to this being some sort of Eggmanland from Unleashed type level, where it tests all your skills and does all sorts of Insane bullshit. and well... it Kind of does that? there's defintely some challenge here (especially if you arent, u know, good at the game). but for Me.. there really wasnt a whole lot of interesting challenges here, and i was able to overcome the level pretty easily. i think what hurts this level the most is that it's totally Linear, and then at about like 2/3rds into the level it just becomes a bunch of straight roads you have to run across. Idk.. the level itself for most of it just doesnt feel as Grand as Spark 1 and 2's final levels. at least for me. i just wish the obstacles were more Crazy and Interesting. i dont Hate the level (and in fact its one of my favorite levels to Break and go Out of bounds. LOL), i just wish it did so much more with its concept. without getting into spoilers, about halfway into the level it starts introducing some Interesting visual things which i will not get into. but theyre pretty neat and i wish it expanded upon it more. also its pretty cool how its all just. one level. and there's no loading screens or anything inbetween so if you go out of bounds you can just. Fall to the final area. Lol. this level is defintely one of the most 'You Either Love it or Really Hate It' parts of the game.. but i think its worth going through just to see the ending.

anyways , ithink the only other negative ill getinto in this post is the Fights. as Good as i think the combat is, i feel like the actual enemies you fight are kind of ... basic. there are some Really Good and challenging bosses, but with the rest of the bosses and enemies in the game you'll notice that they dont really put up a fight.. in fact some bosses will just Stand Still and wait for awhile before they even perform another attack.. it makes fighting them very Easy and boring, Especially if you arent actively trying to be Good at the combat. it especially gets worse at the end of the game, where the same enemy types start reappearing (especially in the final level where you have to fight them in certain places... which u can skip but Lol). i get Why theyre the way they are... this game is Generally made to be a lot more easier than the previous spark games so that people new to the series can get adjusted to it more... but even in the hardest difficulties a lot of the enemies dont really change much, and there isnt really a whole lot of noticable differences in the harder difficulties aside from having Less Health. idk. i just wish there were more harder stuff that fully tested your skills in this game.. but it is what it is i suppose.

there's a few other problems i could probably mention (or i just forgot about), but i dont feel like bringing them up , cus despite the problems this game has, i think the positives Greatly outway the negatives. and also it is important to consider this entire game, which is like 4 hours long casually and is pretty ambitious, is made primarily by like. One Guy. i feel like it's important to keep that in mind.. cus it makes this game so much more Impressive, especially with how much of a huge step up it is from Spark 2 (which only came out in like, 2017). i think, even if some people might not like certain parts of the game, everyone Needs to play this game... it is only like, 25 dollars on steam, and can be bought in a bundle with the rest of the series for Less than 40 dollars... And both it and the bundle go on sale often. You can get So much out of all three of the games for like, nearly half of the cost of sonic frontiers. And also Spark 3 has a demo you can try...

So yea. i want to see this game succeed because i want More of it. the game just got DLC awhile ago with new abilities and The Entirety of Spark 2's Levels in Spark 3.... so even if u dont want to get the bundle you are getting Two Games Worth of Content from like. less than 30 dollars. please buy this game and check it out on steam and hopefully some day itll come to consoles and hopefully some day we can see more of this game. there's already one more DLC planned... and also there's now a Spark plush on makeship that already hit its minimum funding goal. please give this game a chance. it is The 3D Video Game of All Time. thats all. hehe

#TreesThinks #stej #spark the electric jester #spark the electric jester 3 #spark 3 #spark tej #indie game #indie games #video games #video game #platformer #3d platformer #3d games #Youtube

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sereniv · 3 months

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its so hard to find the balance of being informed and knowing whats happening, and focusing on my mental stability.

bc on one hand no matter what i do it feels like i cant just block it all out. it feels wrong. and i mean block everything. as in ignoring every post, not reading anything thats going on in palestine. or any other place

to just pretend like its not happening is not something I feel comfortable doing even if it might help mentally. but i dont even think id be able to

i dont need to see the videos or the pictures or read graphic summaries. and that is enough, is to even do the bare minimum

but even the bare minimum feels like too much.

and lately no matter how much i distance myself from it all its already in my head

and sometimes it feels like im off my pills. when i used to have strong delusions of reality being a simulation or of being watched etc

paranoid delusions and shit like that

like when i say i feel like im going insane i literally feel it. it feels familiar. but worse in a lot of ways

like i know what is happening is real but i can barely comprehend it.

i know what i see is real but through a lense its easy for my brain to just be confused at what im seeing. or hearing.

its a simialr feeling to when we read about the holocaust in school and when i saw pictures and read personal accounts.

i knew that it was real, it felt real to a point, but its like it didnt feel real in a way like so shocking that it causes dissociation

and like im doing the most i can do for myself. because theres no ignoring everything bc i already know its happening.

and now i have to manage my psychosis that im keeping at bay. and then ofc on top of that taking care of my grandma and both pets

amongst other things

i havnt felt this bad in a long time.

luckily i have stuff to distract myself but its like

always on in the background of my mind. it feels so claustrophobic like i want to break things

its hard to keep the right mindset and not just blow up at people, or to be 'reactionary'. which, i mean emotions first thoughts second.

its hard to push that down and act appropriately and normally. and to actually be able to think about what im saying

like its so hard to not cry or dream about this stuff. and like weed doesnt even help, and theres no way im going back to drinking

so its like i just have to raw dog the emotions.

idk maybe ill try edibles again, bc the smoking just isnt good for me

i just hope at least my grandma is able to get out of pain bc im getting so stressed im starting to think about adopting my pets out again just to be able to function

having to take misha out every 20 minutes fucking sucks. having to feed them sucks. having to take her out and scoop and to scoop cowboys cat box sucks

and im not getting enough sleep but at the same time somehow getting too much sleep

and then my tablet needing a replacement

and my room is a mess and trying to keep the dishes clean but they pile up every few days

and then just wanting to enjoy something like food and all im eating is gluten and its making me physically ill and in pain and tired

im dehydrated bc i drink at most an 8 oz glass of water a day, but on average a cup

which makes my muscles weak, im having trouble breathing

somehow im keeping it together

luckily im back on my meds

my grandma could die soon when she gets surgery and i really hope that doesnt happen bc i can not handle that rn at all

its just too much

also going to turn 31 this month when it feels like i turned 30 just a handful of months ago

so idk how i feel about that

i just feel physically sick rn. i should be sleeping but my sleep schedule is fucked up so i dont end up sleeping until like noon or 7am

#Just venting #just me stuff i need to get out #i dont need comfort this is just pure venting to destress a little

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writing-in-april · 3 years

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Tiny Vessels

Spencer Reid x Gender Neutral Reader (Spencer’s POV)

Summary: Spencer is done trying to lie to himself about his true feelings in his relationship, but not done lying to Reader.

A/N: IM BACK!!! So as y’all know I got really sick towards the end of my 30 fics in 30 days event- I’m still going to release the last few fics I missed (and we’re all just gonna pretend it’s still April 😂) this one was requested by @zhuzhubii it’s actually my second song fic and is based on the song tiny vessels. I’m actually super proud of this one and I’m happy to get back into the swing of things with writing 🥰 Also my 1500 follower celebration will likely wait until I finish up the backlog of fics so I don’t overwhelm myself! Feel free to leave me an ask here (I promise I don’t bite) Thanks for reading and hope you enjoy!

Warnings: 18+, Toxic relationship, Lying about feelings and intentions, Brief illusions to sex, Using someone only for their body

Main Masterlist Word Count: 1.3k

The moment I knew, had been a long time coming. It had been just after post coital bliss had faded around me, reality creeping in on the sides as it tried to take hold of me. It had been trying to tell me something, something I had denied for so long. No amount of tossing and turning would banish the slowly creeping in thoughts that attempted to plague my mind. If I had turned and tossed anymore, my partner right beside me would ask what was wrong, and I knew I couldn’t answer it. At least I couldn’t answer it honestly without tearing down what we had built up for ourselves. I never had much that I say I built myself, and even though the foundation was about to cave in, I wouldn’t take the sledgehammer to it myself.

I remember when I told them the first time I told them ‘I love you’. It had been an almost identical situation to where we were now. Two people, naked underneath the sheets, so close physically yet so far emotionally, though I covered that up with my honeyed words of promise.

I always wanted to believe the words I spoke to them, the promises I gave them. Each time I choked out the words, dripping in sentiment and sap I tricked them, and myself into believing them.

Unlike my counterpart I couldn’t fully escape into ignorant bliss. They didn’t know, but I knew deep down everytime I burst open their door after coming home from a rough case. We moved through the dark almost every time, as it was the only time I was available, and it hid my pained expressions pretty well.

All the friends I was telling about our relationship were even convinced too, though I could see a sneaking suspicion crop up in Emily’s eyes every once and a while when I mentioned them. I didn’t tell them the reality, the one that I avoided myself.

It was all for the flesh, nothing of substance lurked underneath, at least for me. Every bite I gave them left a mark, tiny vessels able to be seen creeping up on their skin even in the dark. I claimed them even if I didn’t let them be mine; they could never claim me. They had said they didn’t want those marks to fade, but they inevitably did, showing how hollow my words had been before I nipped at their skin. Once I realized how they faded, how non committed the marks were on their skin, I faded too. I still indulged in the pleasures they freely wanted to give me, but I let my words remain hollow, accepting their meaning without admitting it out loud.

And you are beautiful but you don't mean a thing to me.

Their beauty was unparalleled, it always had been to me. Time and realization had not changed that thought in my mind, though I had lied to myself about the depth of those thoughts. Every brushed touch against their body sent me into a blaze, though it took too long for me to admit that that was the only thing about them I thought about at night.

Their giggle did not make my chest feel light, and our conversations that edged on deep discussions only stimulated my mind because I forced it. Their moans and the softness of their skin were what made me call them at the dead of night, masking it by saying ‘I missed you’. I would then inevitably pivot away from talking about our feelings so I could hear their moans through the speaker of my old phone I only kept around for work, and to call them.

All I see are dark grey clouds now, ruining whatever utopia I had crafted in my mind once I had come to conclude what my real feelings were. If I was honest with myself, it had been lingering at the back of my mind for months now. By now the lie was too hard to escape, and their body felt too good underneath me to let go.

It was vile, and it was cheap of me to trick them for so long into believing that the words whispered into their skin in the dead of night held any true emotion. A kiss on their bare shoulder with a soft rasp of how much they meant to me. Kisses that had been given along the slopes of their pretty face with little whispers of ‘I love you’ in between before I had met their lips with mine.

Another kiss, the last one placed on their forehead given to them after I had promised to bring them the world. And they were all vile, and cheap lies.

Yeah, you are beautiful but you don't mean a thing to me

My thoughts swirled as I continued to stare at them, boring holes into their skin just from my gaze. Guilt nipped at my heels each time another harsh reality tried to slap me across the face, trying to get me to stop trapping them in something I already knew was hollow at its core. Denial was easy when no one else was calling me out for it; something in me almost wanted them to say it, to leave so I would be able to stop living this pathetic lie.

At some point they had sensed my eyes on their body, then looking over at me. Their lips turned downward into a frown, probably after successfully reading the expression on my face. Normally whenever I fixed my gaze on them it was out of admiration, unfortunately if I was going to be honest with myself, it was never because of what lies beneath. I couldn’t force myself to look any deeper than their body.

Too bad being a profiler hadn’t given me the ability to be a good liar, and I wondered if they had figured out long ago that my promises intermingled with kisses were a thinly veiled lie. Maybe they were lying to themselves still.

In the distance, my guilt moved closer every hour.

It would soon swallow me up whole, consuming me when they asked a simple question, “Is something wrong?”

My breath got caught up tight in my chest, my shame welling up so high up it stole my voice for a moment. In the moment that passed, they cocked their head to the side in question innocently. It was almost as if they were mocking the feelings eating at me, showing me how much I was missing by not developing true feelings for them. Damn, right there’s something wrong, but I won’t speak it out loud to let you know.

I felt disgusted with myself, and all I could wonder is if they felt the same way as I did. Wondering did nothing to ease the guilt inside, even as I tried to justify what I was doing.

It would be easier in some regards to come clean about what I was doing, to face the guilt head on. I was a creature of habit however, and hiding in the corners of my mind was one of the things I did best.

So, no we won’t talk about it, because I wouldn’t tell them. I leaned forward to kiss them on the lips, another promise to never let them go that was filled with nothing but lies. The kiss seemed to banish any worry that they still held in the crease of their forehead, their head was now cocked to the side to slant their lips across mine instead.

It was our last kiss of the night, before they went back to their own apartment tonight. My hands roamed up their sides, mapping out every dip and curve with my fingers. It was what I really cherished about them, even if it did make me sick on the inside. Though, I didn’t feel sick enough to say anything more, and I let them go, both of us pretending that it was something more. And, the only reason we were allowed to pretend was because I would not divulge the true reason I gave them those tiny vessels on their neck.

Ask Me Anything

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Tag lists (fill out this form to join):

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All works: @shotarosleftpinky @90spumkin @kyra-morningstar @spenxerslut @boxofsparklingmuses @multixfandomwriter @takeyourleap-of-faith @sydneekomspacekru

All MGG characters: @muffin-cup @willowrose99 @princesssmooshie @peterpanouat @anaagraceeberr @ashcakes1918 @reid-me-a-story @cosmic-psychickitty @nomajdetective @go2sleepdummy

Spencer Reid/CM: @calm-and-doctor @destiny-tsukino @safertokiss @slutforthegubes @onlyhereforthefanfics @jareauswifey @princesssmooshie @peterpanouat

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid smut #spencer reid angst #spencer reid fanfic #criminal minds #criminal minds x reader #matthew gray gubler #matthew gray gubler x reader #mgg #mgg x reader #30 fics in 30 days

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ushiwakaout · 3 years

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parings: Kenma x reader, Oikawa x reader

warning: Fluff, bad grammar. nsfw under black line. fem reader. TIME SKIP HAIKYUU

a/n: request are open! please don’t be afraid to do so!

Kozume Kenma

Match made in heaven

Both of you are at home workers, other than the fact that kenma is a CEO of his own company

You work for him, you’re his editor and you work pretty fast since you obviously do nothing in your day but edit and binge watch anime

you guys could probably go days without talking and just communicate physically and understand everything.

If you go to the store, and he’s gaming that’s when you’ll talk

Always knock before you go into his little studio room

You never come behind him anymore because one time he was filming a scary gameplay with a heart monitor and everyone thought you gave him a heart attack

but no, kenma is just baby and you wanted a good laugh- you felt really bad about it tho bc it was live and you where crying your ass off and he was yelling at you

fake breakup video like the next day for trolling

Okaya anywho

if you want his attention and he’s live, you remove one side of his headset and kiss his cheek (theres a several compilation videos of you doing that all over youtube) “I’m going to the store, you want anything?”

you always wait like 30 seconds and caress him a little to let him know you’re physically there and not just standing there.

“Uh- yeah... yeah. Hold on.” (there is also a compilation of kenma just ignoring you and you just standing there until he answers)

you always end up naming his favorite snacks, drinks and food and he either agrees or denies.

everyone thinks its weird how your relationship works

SOME MANY VIDEOS OF “kenma and y/n communicating without any words”

you go many places by yourself since kenma does very long streams or just long videos

you both stay up really late together

if hes not making videos hes looking at paperwork and if hes not doing that he’s helping you edit

somehow kenma is the more productive one

you have channel yourself that slowly grows thanks to kenma

you only do lives and leave up the whole streams bc you dread editing but you’ll do anything for kenma

just to make extra cash you have and OF

most of the videos consist of watching you play video game while kenma eats you out under the desk

a lot of audios because kenma doesn’t like being his face filmed while having sex

theres a video in your own OF when you do a tik tok trend where you surprise him while he’s filming

“Kenma can you help me for a second.”

“Hmm, what is it kitten?”

He paused his game and while his chair turned you undid your robe

Luckly he’s not live and kept the camera on

He just smiles and spreads his legs for you

(gdiewgsfiuchsiufviusdghvypofgsivhrwshb my brain is malfunctioning ugh im so in love with kenma its not even funny)

He makes you sit on his lap, as he suckles your nipple in his mouth.

His hand firmed tightly around your rips as he kisses every inch of your chest

“You’re so pretty... So fucking pretty.” He mumbles. He’s kissing down your chest all the way to your tummy before picking you up and making you stand

He makes you stand in front of the camera while stands behind you and kisses the crook of your neck.

“I want you to look in the camera for me kitten, can you do that?” He kisses her jaw “Can you be a good girl for me?”

(wow if i write any more smut for kenma i think i might go crazy jskwbvbdei)

sex is very much a frequent thing, most of the time it starts as cock warming while watching a movie and two second later your begging to milk kenmas cock again

he loves when you beg for his cock, makes him feel wanted

he loves feeling your tight pussy clench around him when hes about to cum and you’re cumming for the third time, panting, begging, crying to having him fill you up with his hot cum.

Blow jobs under his desk or while hes on an important call are a must.

you love watching his cock slowly twitch with pre cum when you lick his shaft

mmm i need to stop- i love him so much ugh

Oikawa Tooru

Being lazy in argentina was a dream but a little lonely

Tooru was always away at practive but lcukly the apartment he had been renting had a pool, and you spend most of your days at the pool, reading or playing some game he just bought you

you hate how early he freaking wakes up

hes making breakfast and blending shakes at like 5 in the morning

there’s days he doesn’t really mean to wake you, you know the difference bc if he wants to wake you he’ll leave the blender run for a while and if h doesn’t he does it in seperate pulses so it’s not so damn loud

if he does it on purpose, he has breakfast ready for you before his own

doesn’t expect you to stick around after you eat

when he wakes you on accident he’s like “Oh my baby i’m so sorry honey.”

cue kiss attacks, warm hugs and him making you a cup of coffee/tea, whatever you prefer that morning

he’s so sweet

he knows you work hard too (even tho it doesn’t seem like it bc people think youtubers and streamers have an easy job when it clearly is mentally very stressful)

He knows that when he wakes you up, you had legit just gone to bed like two hours ago.

sometimes you sleep though the noise and before he leaves he wakes you up just a little so he can kiss you goodbye.

its always something like *shake* *shake* “Baby.... honey” *caressing of the head/cheek/hair* “I gotta go to practice now, give me a kiss princess.” you always wake up to the sound of that and give his a really sweet and tender kiss. Oikawa really just wants to fall back asleep with you and hold you, especially today since it was a cold morning

after you give him the kiss, you caress his cheek and then shove him away- a little jumpy that he need to go. “Love you.” you mutter before covering yourself with the blankets

he always slaps your ass over the blankets, it never huts but it’s just a sign of his actually leaving to practice

You wear his stuff when he leaves

low key have attachment issues since you moved with him to Argentina

other than pool side reading, or doing a few laps before breakfast- you really don’t do anything but work.

Work for you consisted you of just playing video games or streaming

You’re popular on the female side of gamers

sometimes you have streams where you ask your fans to play and write down their handles and you’d add them to a game or sum

Everyone knows your dating a professional volleyball player an they think it’s an interesting duo

You cry when Tooru brought Hinata over, he smelt like home

you def. helped him adjust to the life in argentina bc it’s nothing like home.

hinata comes over for dinner ever weekend

if you’re not working or at the pool, you’re in a white hoddie and some shorts, just watching Hinata play some beach volleyball while playing some game

You very much remind him of kenma- it helped a lot when he got some sick- you didn’t really ‘help’ you just cried with him about how much you miss home

although your schedule isnt the best, youre always awake when tooru gets home, always there to greet him with kisses

hes lucky you like cooking, bc he always comes home to an empty stomach

you’re probably the slowest cooker he knows but you take your sweet time bc you know that it always comes out w the best result and he doesnt complain anymore

baths w oikawa are frequent

muscles sores are a usual so seconds before he gets home theres a hot bath being pampered with your love for him

you work so slow on everything hes surprised you actually get stuff done

a little offended that he doesn’t believe in your slow work ethic bc it worked since highschool.

there had been times where he just ask if you’re not ever sick of being at home locked in all day and it stated a very month long fight.

sleeping in different rooms

(LIL ANGST AHEAD)

Tooru can hear you cry from the other room

he didn’t mean to hurt your feelings, he really didn’t. he just doesn’t want you to regret anything- especially moving here with him

you hate it when he questions your life ethics. it makes you feel like a failure and unworthy.

your life is simple and you like it that way but the second he questions it you think that you aren’t doing enough

will 100% sleep outside your door because he can’t sleep alone anymore. he’s gotten used to you being right next to him

you realize that it seems he’s given up so now it’s time to go to the kitchen and get water

but to your surprise tooru is very asleep on the doorframe when you open the door. it’s makes your heart ache just a little bit. he looks tired, his eyes are puffy but he looks so at peace.

you wake him up to go to bed but he has other plans.

he’s kissing you so sweetly, every piece of skin he can find he will kiss

will carry you to bed and kiss your tummy as your shirt ran a little too high

will start to kiss your inner thigh and pull down your underwear and slowly make his way up to your pussy

you’re clearly trying to shove him off (not hard enough) because you keep closing your legs and trying to push him with your foot

will spread your legs and keep his hands there to he can start eating you out

this is his apology. this his how oikawa tooru says im sorry without saying it. soft pleasuring, orgasmic sex.

his fingers are so deep in your pussy while he’s sucking on your clit. he doesn’t look at you when you cum because he feels like he doesn’t deserve to see it.

you’re begging him to look at you after he’s done fingering you so you can kiss him with your taste this lingering oh his tongue

fucks you in a matting press because when it’s slow and he’s thrusting it all in.... i don’t think he’s seen you twitch and drool so much

tooru is there to pleasure you and when he sees you cry out of the pleasure you know he’ll be forgiven when it’s over

aftercare is even better

he doesn’t make you do anything

he presses you, gives you kisses and over all will apologize verbally when you’re slowly falling asleep in his arms

216 notes · View notes

sword-of-summer · 3 years

Note

All of them answer every question fuck you

ahahaha no i respectfully deny your "fuck you" and i accept the ask and so-

i am 5'10", and i don't wish to be taller or shorter- i am the perfect height for hugs and messy hair, and yep, i like it here-

dream pet would be a mix of golden retriver and a husky called Holly and a chonky cat called Loki- yes ofcourse my future kids have names everyone should name their future pets-

ripped jeans/black pants with a Darth Vader tshirt or a Ethnic Fusion Kurta with black sneakers/artificial leather slip-ons, and if it's cold, a black jacket open obviously- and a black wristwatch i love my black wristwatch.

favourite video game was Clash of Clans and going even back, GTA Vice City and, the og- MARIIOOOO

three things/people are Oreos, Nutella and Pizza. The Holy Trinity-

"Beware me my fingers are smeared with chicken popcorn grease"

you didn't mention an opinion, @chunkybirb, so imma give my opinion on Vanilla ice cream and Nutella- ANYONE WHO HADN'T COMBINED THESE TWO COMBINE THESE TWO THEY ARE FUCKING AWESOME

im either phlegmatic or melancholic bruh idk maybe ik or maybe not

im v v v v ticklish

not an allergy, but an intense hatred for ketchup- i vomit if it gets too close to me fuck you ketchup

im heterosexual

any between tea and coffee but full milk coffee (ik, kill me), never had cocoa- but i love a chocolate or nutella milkshake

both. both is good. (cat and dog)

i would be an elf cause hell yeah, knowledge and wisdom

favourite youtuber is Samay Raina, a stand up comedian turned youtuber who is just awesome-

as i mentioned in 1., i am 5'10"

i would not change my name cause it's the coolest fucking name ever, i am Tanay, and Tanay in Hindi means Son, and my parents literally named their son Son, and hell yeah i like it

i forgot how much i weigh- last i checked it was 75 kilos, but ive gained weight since 2019 so yep, gotta walk in the mornings

yes i believe in metaphysicality cause one- it seems cool- second- me and @theclassyghost discussed a metaphysical life theory that i really really like and metaphysicality gives preservation of knowledge so i believe in spirits

SPACE. SPACE. SPACE.

im not that religious, no

pet peeves no well nah not really

nocturnal def nocturnal i sleep at 4.50 anyway hehehehe

fav constellation is Cassiopeia

fav star is Sirius tho

what the fuck are ball jointed dolls

i do have a fear of losing people that's just anxiety i guess

yep, global warming is real

never thought that much about reincarnation tbh but maybe, i do

fav movie is Spider Man : Into The SpiderVerse and Inception and The Dark Knight Rises and Revenge of The Sith and yes, for my indian gang, 3 Idiots and Gully Boy

yep i get scared v v v easily

i have had no pets but i plan to once i grow up

@chunkybirb 's blog is fucking cool awesome and *chef's kiss* a masterpiece

blue calms me. i love blue.

live in Norway cause pretty lights, snow, and less people than this overpopulated country i am in

born in Mumbai, India

v v v dark brown like it's almost black but no it's dark brown

introvert

horoscopes and zodiacs, i do read them, never believed that much tbh-

HUGS I LOVE HUGS

i really wanna visit my brother i haven't met him in a long time i really wanna play cricket w him just like old times

my sister- she's annoying but well i care for her

nah

tattoos idk bruh im okay idk may get one or may not get one

nope, smoking is ewwww *vomits*

ah my crush- she's cool [ if she exists

when the chalk doesn't write on the board but goes iiiiiieeee I HATE THAT

a sound i love is rain pitter pattering i just hhhhhh sends me into happiness

nope fatass here

favourite actors have to be eddie redmayne, oscar issac and pedro pascal- and margot robbie and winona ryder in the actresses section also yes, elliot page

bruh already answered in 30.

im okayish!! spotify and tumblr, cool combo-

my hair are okay being black for me

yesterday, monday, from 6.40 to 6.50

music

uhhh naah not that i know of

well in Rick Riordan's Magnus Chase books, the sword of Frey aka Sumarbrander TALKS and demands to be called Jack, so here i am

bakwaas, music and comfy

yep, i believe in evolution

unfollow on hate and when they dm me sending nsfw pics ugh why are people like that

follow, well, i like people and they seem cool, so i follow them

fav kind of person is the one who'll sit with me for hours not even talking and just vibing to music

fav animals are beavers, doggos and cats

three fav blogs are @chunkybirb, @theclassyghost, @little-boats-on-a-lake, @aredhel-of-gondolin, @sue-me-imbadass, @alleenkaas, @my-ackerman, @brrrrrrrrrrzone

fav emoticon has to be ☹ this me seeing my stupidity outrank others

fav meme has to be Butternut is a master of psychological manipulation

INTP

Libraaa let's go

no dog, i have

black darth vader tshirt, black pants, black sneakers and black wrist watch

i have no selfies my phone has no cameras i live in eternal darkness

what the fuck are platform shoes

i, uhhh, i remember weird things like what i drew in class in 3rd while i was supposed to be doing english

lazy ass here, no front flips possible

i like birds they fly

nope i don't Iike swimming i like blankets

wrapped up in blankets reading books sounds better than both

ketchup

hyperspace travel

nope none

reading writing eating sleeping

my friend

tumblr seems cool

i have around 60-70 idk

yes i can run but why

yes they do but what's the fun in that

nope I'd fall over

sapphire let's go

koala bear or panda

sunflower or the one on a lemon tree

ketchup store

one cup of coffee is enough, tysm

read minds that sounds cool cool yeaaahh

nope never wore it a black clothes guy here BatMan

winter winter all year long

i don't know and i don't wanna try

i don't know and i don't wanna know

everyone cause they are better than me

bookstores cause bookstores any bookstores

sneakers, black onez

apparently some gas bitches mixed up to form a planet

non vegetarian but i partake meat just twice or thrice in two weeks

i don't know they don't seem like liking

naaaaaaaah

bugs ew

spiders ew

about the fact that i come off as arrogant and overconfident while in reality it's just that my communication skills suck

i can draw averagely whenever im in a mood

this thing im answering but i like answering it

uhhhhhhh brain freeze- idk bruh questions are good they give knowledge

yep, while sleeping

ahh yes calming, they are

cloudy days cause fucking cool vibes

hehehe wouldn't you like to know, weatherboy

CumuloNimbus i really like it's name yknow nimBUS

dark blue, dark blue always or black

naaaah no freckles

fav thing is when they laugh and it's just happy and we're both laughing like shitheads but who cares we're rebelling against depressing life and we laugh

both. both is good [ fruits and vegetables

sleep but i have to answer 170 questions cause @chunkybirb

sky sky sky it's my blog's header duh uh sKy

sweet and sour candy. SWEET AND SOUR CANDY.

dim lights it makes me feel cool

ahhh so here we go- Mooncalfs, Thunderbirds, Phoenixes, Sphinxes, Dragons that seem to be Space Nebulae, and more and more and more

i really feel like a boomer sometimes

i love everything about this site/app it makes me feel happy cause i like the people and the posts

uhhhhh i think too much about everything cause i just do. i like thinking

"He's dead, guys. For the sake of The Force, please watch Star Wars now he wanted to discuss it with you" actually no i would just say "A big shoutout to Garlic Bread he loved Garlic Bread"

myself cause i should be sleeping but sleep is for the weak and i am the weak and the strong i am a paradox-

that i obsess too much on things and try involving people it never works out

nope. had braces for 4 years, that beat out teeth showing smiles

i prefer computer-tv ahahahahaha

never tried them, so IDK

naaaaah not motion sickness- never travelled by sea so idk seasickness

lobed ears

yep i believe that deeds do count in life and beyond

idk bruh i don't believe in physical attraction too much- bodies are fake- mentally/metaphysically tho, im a 7

ahhhhh many many Stupid Genius, Tani, Tanu, Tanya

i still do-

i really want to talk to a therapist. converse. and discover.

im both, i am both.

10:1 is the ratio- giving 10, receiving 1

uhhh nothing just when i am right and people use the old "disrespect" argument

3, Hindi, Marathi, English

girls

uhh no i am not

my hair i love them everyone says things about my hair but i love them

knowledge vibes i give, someone tells me- and that's all i ever wanted

anyone i know tbh, my mutuals, my friends, my discord friends

ahhh no i wouldn't but i wish i was born 20 years earlier

bleh bloo, neither like nor dislike

i don't know if i have one

i don't know, haven't had physical contact in a long long long time in a galaxy far far away

the above point stands but i would like to ig

anything i write, 3 hours later, i instantly hate just idk why

anything i write

that i am normal no i am not and i am not okay hahahahaha

65-70 ish people

somewhere around-

many many many don't ask please but okay if you do ask

somewhat

uhhhhh idr exactly but i won't tell in public duh uh

mediummm hairrrr

last year lockdown i became harry potter

i don't know buddy i seriously don't know

yep i do cause knowledge i like knowledge

naaah never tried

no i definitely cannot stand on my hands or my head for more than 30 seconds

yep, im pretty sure i answered most of them correctly-

og link-

#personal #ask #tumblr

16 notes · View notes

minmincals · 2 years

Text

kinda wanna do this i hope i won't forget abt it

Day 1: 165cm 47kg,, ion do other measurements

Day 2: i'm as already mentioned 165cm and ngl i'd like to grow a lil but i'm also not gonna cry if i didn't

Day 3: i dont have a specific one but thigh gaps🗣🗣🗣

Day 4: im afraid i might become too skinny to look good dancing

Day 5: because i hate the way my body looks esp my thighs i can only wear loose pants or skirts, whenever i wear leggings to dance class i have to wear a big tshirt or hoodie to cover them bc it looks weird otherwise

Day 6: yes i do theres a lot of times where im feeling empty but like emotionally n not physically and so i-

Day 7: idk tbh ion talk to them

Day 8: i have none im lying in bed all day

Day 9: often enough, even now they dont stfu abt it

Day 10: uhm idk

Day 11: don't have one

Day 12: small portion of anything my parents cook for lunch and whatever tf i feel like snacking on till evening

Day 13: i have an eating disorder. healthier than before tho im rarely purging

Day 14: my ugw is 40kgs and im expecting to reach it by graduation if possible,, so 1¼yrs left

Day 15: i would def want to turn vegan but my parents don't want me to🤪 i've cut out red meat tho and tbh i feel sm better since i did and i have sm less to binge on since my fam are red meat lovers and so i did lose weight by cutting that out.

Day 16: somewhere in 6th grade

Day 17: yes🥳

Day 18: cakes, fruit, or anything with sesame seeds

Day 19: its been quite a while idk maybe 2-3 months ago

Day 20: don't have one since i didnt get to try many

Day 21: i could easily fit xs but i prefer s and m unless it's skirts

Day 22: lw was 42,9kg i gained bc my digestive system was fucked from all the purging and if i didnt purge id gain like rly fast but i didnt have the energy to purge anymore so that stressed me out which then led to a binge cycle and boom i gained double of what i lost

Day 23: not really until i found those diet/fitness youtubers which motivated me to work on it

Day 24: the meaning's all twisted and ppl still argue abt it but im just seeing it as a tag where i can get motivation for myself idk

Day 25: countless times, i read it was hard to purge first time and so i was worried i might take a while and everyone in the house would hear but then i thought fuck it and went for it n it actually wasnt bad---

Day26: seeing the number and also the way i might look at that weight

Day 27: i either binge or it makes me sick just looking at it

Day 28: i absolutely do simply bc that means i have worked hard enough and also my thighs wont touch anymore which is >>>>>

Day 29: beauty is whatever u decide it to be for yourself

Day 30: 46,9kg still the same height

1) i love to dance

2) im ace

3) i love hugs and holding hands n all that stuff but my brain decides who im comfortable with doing that (bitch is very selective) and often its ppl that i'll never be close with and it makes me sad

4) im a math enjoyer and proud

5) i love riddles and figuring stuff out on my own

6) i play genshin and im a kazuha main

7) im into kpop and my ult group is onf

8) i have a hard time telling apart romantic and platonic so its always nice if the other person makes clear where we stand

9) i have ednos, 100% pain and suffering, 0% weightloss

10) im nonbinary

#thinspo #thinspochallenge #ed #ednos

3 notes · View notes

catboymingi · 4 years

Text

baby steps

navi/masterlist

pairing: mingi x reader

genre: a little humour, mainly angst & fluff; best friends to lovers

word count: way too many considering this was supposed to be a short piece (6.2k)

warnings: eating disorders! no disordered behaviour discussed in detail, but it is quite obvious what’s going on and there’s some disordered thought patterns mentioned, so please be careful! somewhat of fainting mention also? some language but not too bad!

mingi has to admit that maybe you’re not as okay as he thought, and you have to admit that maybe you’re not as strong as you thought.

mingi knew something was wrong when you’d turned off not only your first, but also your second and third alarm, staying in bed longer than you usually allowed him to be when he was over. he knew you were an early bird - you’d complained more than once to him about waking up incredibly late, and when he asked you when you’d woken up you said 07:30 or so. so for you to still be in bed at this time was very untypical and kind of worrying. he didn’t want to pressure you, though, so he just stayed in bed with you, though at this point you weren’t really in each other’s arms anymore, mainly because you’d shuffled to turn off your alarms and he hadn’t known if you wanted him to hold you. he didn’t know if it was his place to do so - you’d been best friends for a while now and hadn’t been shy about physical contact right from the start, but he knew you didn’t feel the way about him as he did about you. he had confessed, somewhen months ago, and you had given him an apologetic smile as you told him that he was an amazing guy but you just weren’t in the headspace for a relationship right now. and that was fine, your friendship had resumed with barely any change (he’d become a bit more aware of how he interacted with you, not wanting to make you uncomfortable) and there’d never been any awkwardness. but in situations like this it was hard for him to know what to do, what you’d be comfortable with, what would be too much.

just as he had his thoughts you had yours, though yours were going in a whole other direction. you’d been trying to not let people see you were slipping again, but it got harder the worse you felt, and it was especially hard around mingi. you spent so much time together it was hard to keep your act up. it was hard to convince him that you’d already eaten, or that you had great food waiting for you at home, or that you felt a little sick so you didn’t want to. but you’d never told him about the underlying cause for your unwillingness to eat, so he didn’t double-check. maybe he should have. you were far from okay, but you didn’t want to worry him, so you didn’t tell him how you felt and what you were doing to yourself. no matter how much you would have needed him there for you, you knew that it wasn’t worth making him scared like that. he would be scared, definitely, he was a good friend, but just imagining the pained expression in his eyes if you ever told him had been enough to keep you from doing so. but today you felt weak, and disgusting, and you didn’t want anyone but mingi to ever see you again. he wasn’t even touching you at all, though, and you had no way to know that it was because he didn’t want to make you uncomfortable, so instead you convinced yourself it was because he’d finally realised how abhorrent you looked. and no matter how much you tried you couldn’t stop yourself from crying, trying so hard to keep quiet, but the way your body shook gave you away. it was dry, violent sobs, and mingi sat up in panic.

“what’s wrong?” the first words either of you had spoken that morning.

you didn’t reply. you didn’t want to hear him confirm what you thought the problem was. but you couldn’t convince him you were fine either, not having the energy to do anything but sob more. he was really worried now. he’d never seen you cry like this. he’d never genuinely seen you cry at all. but he still had no idea what to do, so he just looked at you. should he stroke your hair? should he hug you? should he leave? there was no way for him to find out other than to just ask you directly.

“what do you need?”

his voice was soft now, deep and calm, and it made you feel like maybe, just maybe, he didn’t despise you. so you gathered every ounce of courage left in your body (it really wasn’t a lot) and asked him to hug you.

he immediately did as asked, not saying anything of value, mainly making calming sounds until you stopped shaking like that, finally having stopped crying.

“do you want to tell what’s wrong? you don’t have to.” he was worried and just wanted to know what had caused this, but more than that he wanted you to be comfortable.

you didn’t directly answer his question, instead apologising for something that had never even crossed his mind.

“i’m sorry i look like this. i’m sorry you have to be in public with me when i look like this.”

mingi damn near laughed as you said that, but stopped himself in consideration of the state you were currently in. he’d never even considered that you might feel this way - you’d always been nothing short of perfect to him, and his friends had on more than one occasion acknowledged how pretty you were, joking about how lucky he was to even be in the friendzone. but you did not seem to think the same way and he really didn’t know how to react, overwhelmed with the entire situation.

that didn’t help your insecurity at all, though, his silence seeming like confirmation to you. you grabbed the arm he’d wrapped around you when you asked him to and pushed it off you, having to face him for that but refusing to look him in the eyes.

“y/n, what’s wrong?”, he asked again. he knew he had fucked up somehow now, but he still had no idea how to make you feel better at all.

“don’t touch me. please. i don’t want you to feel…” you stopped, too ashamed to even say the words.

“to feel what?” he probed, carefully, wanting to know what the problem was but not wanting you to feel pressured.

“like… this”, you pointed at yourself as you spoke, “the fat and just… everything.”

you hadn’t looked at him even once as you said that, so you didn’t see the expression of shock on his face. the last thing he’d expected to hear from you was that you were scared you were fat when he was convinced that if he grabbed your wrist too hard he might break it. it made sense now, though, your behaviour. the way you’d never worn anything short or tight when you were in public, and how it had taken you several months to let even mingi see you in a t-shirt. the way you kept declining his food.

“you didn’t actually eat all those times you told me you weren’t hungry, did you?” it wasn’t an accusation, you knew it wasn’t. he was just asking. yet you felt like you’d been caught, you felt embarrassed to admit it.

“mingi…” you didn’t confirm it, but you didn’t deny it, and that made the answer obvious.

“i wish you’d told me.”

this surprised you. or, the way he said it did. he didn’t say ‘why didn’t you tell me’ or ‘you should have told me’, but ‘i wish you’d told me’. no blame at all. so you decided - subconsciously - that mingi could be trusted with this, that mingi was safe.

“you know i couldn’t. you’d worry.” again he doesn’t try to argue or convince you that of course you could have, instead pulling you into his chest and stroking your hair, trying to calm both you and himself.

“of course i worry.” he wanted to say more but didn’t know what. it felt like there were no right words for this situation, so he just didn’t say anything, focusing on holding on to you and trying to ignore just how small you were against him. not that you were that much shorter than him, but you just felt very small, and he cursed himself for not having realised there’s a problem earlier even though he’d been in this position with you countless times before.

the two of you laid there in silence for a while, him still stroking your head carefully. at this point he wasn’t sure if you were even still awake, but it didn’t matter. he wasn’t going to let go. still, it surprised him when you spoke up.

“mingi?” he hummed in response, and you went on. “can you please forget about this?” this was not what he’d expected you to say, and it almost made him angry that you’d even suggest that.

“i’m not going to. not until you’ve stopped.”

“it’s not that easy.” the resignation in your voice apparent.

“i’ll take care of you. it’ll be fine.”

for some reason, this filled you with rage. both the prospect of being babied and (mainly, if you were honest) the thought of having to stop living like this.

“i’m not a child! i can take care of myself!” you pushed against his chest as you said that, not being able to move him but shuffling backwards some yourself. and now mingi’s frustration came to the surface as well.

“you can’t! you’re killing yourself with this!”

“that’s not your problem!”

he watched you as you sat up, moving towards the foot end of the bed and getting off. or, trying to. as soon as you got up he noticed something was off, your arms were wailing slightly in the air, but that was your only movement. until your knees gave in. the argument was forgotten in that moment, all he cared about was making sure you were okay.

you felt his arms around you while your vision was still black. he pulled you into his lap, rocking you back and forth like a baby, his face pressed against your hair, whispering incomprehensible words against your skin. he was scared, and so were you.

“mingi…”

your voice sounded so weak it almost broke his heart. you were stammering, trying to figure out what it was you actually wanted to say, but you didn’t know. all you knew was that you were horrified. so you told him that.

“i’m scared, mingi. i’m scared that you’re right. that i won’t be able to stop until im…” you couldn’t say the last word, but he knew what you meant. until you were dead. he didn’t know what to say, though, just continuing to rock you back and forth.

“i don’t know how to stop. it’s not just ‘eat more and then you’re fine’. but people don’t understand. they try to make me eat all at once and then they say i don’t want to stop when i say i can’t. but it’s not that. it’s just overwhelming when there’s a whole plate and i’m supposed to eat it all and i know that if i won’t i failed but if i eat it all that’s only going to make it worse too because i wasn’t ready and it just feels like i can’t win. at least like this i know what to do.”

this was the first time you’d told someone how you felt. how scared you were. but you felt like you could trust mingi. like he’d understand, not the details of how you felt inside but just why it was so hard to get out of this. and he did.

“baby steps, then.” and, remembering your outburst earlier, he added: “if i can help. if you want me to.”

he smiled when he felt you nod. then, he gently slid you off his lap, only to pick you up right after and have you sit on the bed again.

“how baby does the step have to be right now?” it wasn’t even like he’d said anything extraordinarily funny, but you couldn’t help but smile.

“some juice.”

“to your service.” he saluted (he’d seen the way you smiled and was determined to make you smile again) before leaving to get you what you wanted, hearing your laughter from behind him as he did so and unable to stop himself from smiling as well. then, he returned with your juice, settling next to you as he watched you drink. once you were done he took the glass from you and put it on the sink and you sighed in feigned annoyance at his refusal to let you do anything by yourself. deep down, though, you thought it was sweet. you hadn’t realised just how much you’d wanted - needed - someone to take care of you. but here he was, doing so when you hadn’t even asked him to.

and it continued like this. mingi all but refused to leave you alone, staying over at your place more than he slept at his own, causing his friends to make teasing remarks. going from baby step to baby step. he didn’t pressure you into doing more than you were able to, ever - if you said you couldn’t then that meant you couldn’t. but he also didn’t let you get away with behaviour he knew was you purposefully trying to worsen your situation. even so, his scolding was always kind and caring, never harsh or blaming.

you’d reciprocated his feelings even when he first confessed, but everything that was going on in your life had made it impossible for you to tell him. you hadn’t been lying when you said you weren’t in the headspace for it, and you just hadn’t wanted to burden him with what he was now doing anyway. you didn’t want to be a charity project for your partner, you wanted to be a girlfriend. and the fear of him not treating you like that, no matter whether that happened on purpose or not, had made you turn him down. but the more time you spent with him the more you realised just how much you appreciated him, his silly jokes, his goofy grin, his presence. he made it hard to feel bad. so you kept spending time with him, and while both of you knew that he wouldn’t be able to fix you it helped to just have him there while you were trying to fix yourself. mingi gave you strength without even doing anything. however you were certain that, after all these months without so much as an attempt at making advances, any feelings he might have had for you had been nothing more than a small infatuation and that things would get awkward if you were to bring yours up now. so you did your best to hide them and mingi didn’t notice anything. his friends did, though.

after several unsuccessful attempts at trying to get mingi to confess (again), they decided it was time to attack you. yunho and seonghwa had been sent on this mission - yunho because he was closer to mingi than the others, and seonghwa because it hadn’t gone unnoticed that mingi was babying you, and while they didn’t know the reason it wasn’t hard to figure out that something was wrong, so they wanted to send the oldest just in case. they approached you, knowing that mingi would be busy for a while (hongjoong had messaged him, saying that he needed some help), and you knew you didn’t like whatever they had planned when you saw their expressions.

“i don’t trust those smiles”, you greeted them, wary.

“y/n.” yunho’s voice came out as more of a sing-song than a normal greeting, and it was now you were certain that you really didn’t like whatever they had planned for you.

“what do you want?” it wasn’t like you never spoke to mingi’s friends at all - you liked them and it seemed like they liked you, too, so you’d sometimes hang out with them as well when you met up with mingi -, but this was the first time they’d ever approached you when mingi wasn’t around.

noticing the suspicion in your voice, seonghwa decided that it might be better if he were the one to present their request to you.

“you’ve been spending a lot of time with mingi lately.”

“yes?” you didn’t know what he was getting at. of course you were spending a lot of time with mingi, he was your best friend?

“and you like him a lot”, he continued, waiting for your reply.

“he’s my best friend.”

“would you ever consider him as something different than just your best friend?”

okay, you didn’t like this. at all. what were they trying to do? did they know about your feelings? you decided to play clueless, just in case.

“how do you mean?”

by this point yunho had gotten tired of seonghwa’s guessing game and decided to tell you straight out what seonghwa had only hinted at.

“you like mingi. everyone knows.”

seonghwa sent him a glare that you were certain had the power to kill a man, but you were too shocked to say or do anything at all. everyone knew? did mingi..?

“mingi doesn’t”, seonghwa added as he saw your horrified expression.

“and he won’t believe us when we try to tell him you do”, yunho added.

“you told him?!”

it was time to plan your emigration. which country was the farthest away from south korea, geographically speaking? how hard would it be to get citizenship there? what did a house in the smallest, most unknown village there cost, on average? would you-

seonghwa interrupted.

“he’s convinced you still don’t like him back, so he refuses to make a move. which is why we approached you, now.”

“hold on. refuses to make a move?” this was too much too fast; you felt like your brain was getting thrown around in a washing machine, hitting the walls with a ‘donk’ whenever either of the boys said anything more.

your reply apparently confused them, yunho asked: “wait, i thought he’d confessed?” and you could see traces of uncertainty on seonghwa’s face as well.

“well, i mean, he did? but it’s been so long and he never brought it up again, so i just assumed it wasn’t a big deal.” really, you’d been convinced that he realised you weren’t good enough for him, but you weren’t about to tell the boys that.

“are you serious?” this seemed to be far from what yunho expected, judging by his tone of voice and expression. “he’s been giving you puppy eyes for ages now!”

“doesn’t he give everyone puppy eyes though?” you still weren’t convinced.

fearing that yunho would absolutely lose it from how oblivious you were seonghwa decided to speak up again.

“he tends to, but he only gives us puppy eyes when he wants something. with you, puppy eyes are on 24/7.”

“so what do you want?” even though you didn’t believe them about mingi’s feelings for you you decided that having them get to the point right away would spare you from even more embarrassment.

“we want to set you up”, yunho said bluntly, once more almost making your eyes pop from their sockets.

“it’s a little frustrating to see how both of you stare at each other longingly all the time but neither seems to notice that that’s what’s going on”, seonghwa elaborated, hoping to get your eyes to return to their anatomically appropriate size.

“do you have a plan or were you just coming to me with the thought ‘if we tell her mingi has feelings for her without providing any proof, maybe she’ll make a fool of herself and confess’?”

you didn’t mean to sound passive aggressive, but you realised that you did as soon as the words were out. lucky for you, though, the boys seemed to understand where you were coming from, and just nodded.

“we do have a plan, actually.” seonghwa was the one to reply, but you were looking at yunho upon whose face a mischievous smile had made its way.

“considering the way yunho is looking at me right now i don’t think i like that plan”, you tried to back out, but it was too late. you had implied your willingness to go along if a plan existed and they were determined to finally end mingi and you’s mutual pining.

“it’s a good plan!”, the reason for your concern defended himself. “you just have to play along.”

“shall you enlighten me, then, oh genius one?”

your words held some sharpness, but your voice softened the blow, showing that you were not as opposed to confessing at all as your words implied.

“okay so we were thinking…”

as they explained what they - together with the other five boys that were impossible to get rid of whenever you hung out with mingi at his place - had come up with you had to admit that maybe, just maybe, they weren’t going to send you on a suicide mission. you hated to say this, but their plan was actually good. so, after asking another four times if they were really absolutely completely 100% sure that mingi felt the same way about you as you did about him and after having them promise that you wouldn’t have to do anything other than being in the right place at the right time, you agreed.

they’d never told you when they were planning on making their masterplan become a reality, though. so when you, roughly two weeks later, saw that hongjoong had sent you a message during the night (which you saw while you were trying to turn your alarm off before mingi would wake up, so your base state was already one of mild panic), you got a bad case of nerves. you’d expected at least a little more time to mentally prepare. you got less than a day’s notice! but it didn’t seem like you had a choice, all you could do was accept your fate.

“y/n?” so much about trying not to wake up mingi. he scooted closer, pulling you back into his chest, almost making you drop your phone and hit your chin on the edge of the bed in the process.

“what time is it?” he was barely awake and you knew that he’d kill you if you told him that you’d woken him up at 5 in the morning just because you were too slow in turning your alarm off.

“if i say seven will you believe me?”, you tried, sounding more nervous than appropriate. but how couldn’t you be after seeing hongjoong’s message?

mingi just hummed in reply, the low ‘mmm’ turning into a laugh as he decently wrapped his arm around you. you felt yourself relax into his touch as you always did, and pushed the thought of what was to come to the back of your head. but unlike the giant behind you (who you were certain had re-entered the land of dreams in the span of five minutes) you were not able to fall asleep again. so while your next alarm came as a curse to mingi it came as a blessing to you.

“mingi, you need to wake up.” he mumbled something that sounded suspiciously much like ‘just five more minutes’ and you started laughing.

“you can have as many minutes as it takes me to get ready, that okay?”

he still didn’t seem pleased but released you from his embrace, making it possible for you to leave the bed to get ready. you didn’t particularly hurry, but when you got back it seemed like mingi hadn’t moved at all.

“time’s over!”

no reply. had he fallen asleep again? you moved closer to check, leaning onto the mattress with one hand as you tried to shake him awake with the other. he wasn’t asleep, though, as you had to find out when he pulled your arm out from under you and causing you to fall onto the bed, which he took as his opportunity to trap you in his arms again.

“why are you so horrible!” he knew you didn’t mean this, your laughter giving you away.

“it’s in the job description”, he simply replied, though he was laughing as well.

“can i fire you?”

“you wouldn’t. who’s going to baby you if you kick me out?”

“touché.”

it continued like that the entire morning, bickering about every single thing up until you had to part ways to go to class. and as soon as you did so your anxiety returned. the boys had asked you for your weekly class schedule, and you assumed they’d done the same with mingi if they hadn’t already memorised it, and hongjoong’s message had made it clear that they’d put their plan into action after your classes today. so it was near impossible for you to concentrate, instead worrying about how mingi would react.

it was both a relief and a cause for panic when your last class ended. soon you’d no longer have to worry but up until then your worry increased exponentially with every second that passed. yunho was waiting for you, a massive grin on his face as he told you to follow him.

“at least one of us’s excited.”

he rolled his eyes, turning around to make sure you saw. he didn’t give you a snarky remark, though - honestly, he could understand you. it was easy for him to be excited when he knew it was going to work out, but you didn’t have that certainty. even though you should, in his humble opinion.

unlike you, mingi had absolutely no idea what was awaiting him. so when his entire friend group (minus yunho, who was busy dragging you along without any consideration for the difference in leg length and the resulting difference in walking speed, and seonghwa, who was waiting at the final destination) stood in front of his classroom, he knew something was up. and he started to get incredibly nervous when they told him to come along while refusing to tell him why. but he did as asked (or ordered to - it didn’t feel like he had much of a choice), following them with no idea about the destination.

both you and him were surprised to see that you’d been taken to mingi and the boys’ shared apartment. mingi because really, that’s what you acted like this for?, and you because this had not been part of the plan. mingi arrived first, with yunho and you coming in shortly after. when you saw everyone gathered in their living room you sent glances from yunho to seonghwa to mingi to seonghwa to hongjoong, your gaze darting around aimlessly until wooyoung decided to speak up.

“dear guests, we have gathered here today to make these two clueless idiots stop acting like annoying teenagers. thank you.”

the boys couldn’t suppress a laugh as the orator walked towards mingi, handing him an envelope, seonghwa mirroring his actions and giving an identical one to you.

“what’s going on?” mingi seemed at least as confused as you were, and you appreciated his question. you, too, wanted to figure out what on earth was happening right now.

“you’ll see.” wooyoung was enjoying this situation too much for your liking.

“we’ll go get lunch now”, seonghwa informed you, and with those words the seven devils left you and mingi alone in awkward silence.

“what’s the envelope for?”, you asked after a minute of painful avoidance of eye contact and refusal to move.

“no idea. should we check?”

you nodded, glad to finally have something to do, hoping the tension would lessen once you knew what this was about. but you were a lot less glad as you saw what they had put into the mysterious envelope. it was a print of someone’s chat history with mingi (one of the boys, you assumed), where they were talking about how mingi should confess to you because it was starting to get frustrating to watch your mutual pining, to which the alleged piner said that he wouldn’t because you definitely didn’t feel the same way and he didn’t want to ruin your friendship. this was nice, this you were glad to read, getting confirmation that he reciprocated still. what wasn’t nice was the realisation that you had had a similar conversation with seonghwa, over chat, and that mingi was most likely staring at the printed counterpart to his indirect confession.

“please tell me they didn’t put in yours what they put in mine.”

he had no idea how to best describe the emotion in your voice, but he was certain it was the exact same one he was feeling right now as he realised just what their plan had been.

“i’m certainly not looking at cat pictures”, he attempted to joke, and you groaned in response, turning away from him because really, this was embarrassing as shit.

“anyway, it was nice knowing you, i’ll be taking the next flight that takes me away from here”, you told him while walking towards the door, but he stopped you, quickly moving to block your way.

“i can pretend i didn’t read this if you pretend you didn’t read it either”, he offered with an awkward smile, still not moving away.

“nope, sorry, too embarrassing, i’ll never be able to look you in the eyes after this.”

“you act like you’re the only one who’s been exposed.”

if this wasn’t mingi you’d be scared that he was angry at you for making it seem like this was all about you and your feelings, but this was mingi, and you knew he was just trying to make you feel better.

“it’s not the same!”, you defended yourself. “you’ve said this before so it’s not embarrassing, and you’re way out of my league so i’m lucky if there’s even the slightest chance you might like me while me thinking you might actually still like me is just embarrassing.”

“wha- it’s not! i’m not! i’ve been”, he checked the chat for the term seonghwa had used in his message, “giving you puppy eyes forever!”

you couldn’t stop yourself from laughing at this, him looking at the paper like he’d forgotten his lines, and any tension that had been between you quickly subsided.

“no but for real, this is embarrassing”, you said after you’d calmed down enough to form full sentences again.

“i can’t believe they did this”, mingi agreed, though he was smiling.

“they didn’t tell me this was their plan!”

he laughed at how appalled you sounded before double checking something you said.

“you knew they had a plan?”

“kind of”, you admitted. “but it definitely wasn’t this. they told me they’d planned something cute! not something embarrassing.”

“what do you mean?”, though it was slowly starting to dawn on him.

“seonghwa and yunho kind of convinced me to confess, but i didn’t expect them to be this ruthless!” the more you thought about it the more embarrassed you got.

“my offer still stands”, he said, making you look up at him in surprise.

“i can still pretend i didn’t see this and you can do whatever you were planning to.” the smile on his face was impossible to miss, but you had to let him down.

“no, it’s too embarrassing now”, you whined and your best friend couldn’t help but laugh at that.

“don’t laugh at me!”, you scolded, lightly hitting his arm.

“can i do it then?”, he said hurriedly, and now it was him who couldn’t look you in the eyes. you were certain he’d said something embarrassing based on his reaction, but you were still too caught up in your own shame to realise what he was talking about.

“what do you mean?”

“you know… confess.” the last word was barely above a whisper, but you heard him regardless, and his reply took you by surprise.

“if you want to?” you tried to play it cool but your heart was racing at the prospect of his possible next words.

“alright.”

he cleared his throat before looking at you, but as soon as he started speaking his gaze went from your eyes to your forehead, knowing it’d be impossible to say what he wanted to if he was looking into your eyes the whole time.

“you know i’ve like… said this before, right? that i kinda like you. or, not kinda. but you know. and you said you weren’t in the position to…”, he stopped to find a wording that would get his point across without being too embarrassing, “do anything about it? yeah. and that’s fine and i never brought it up again because you said that and it really didn’t seem like your position had improved lately”, you grabbed your own hand at the memory of how you’d almost fainted right in front of him, “so i didn’t think that you’d want me to say anything. but it’s not changed. how i feel, i mean. so…”

he stopped talking, finally daring to look you in the eyes again but immediately moving his gaze away again and biting his lip. you were waiting for him to say more, felt that he wasn’t done yet, but he remained silent.

“you were right, this is embarrassing”, he finally said, a short, forced laugh accompanying his words.

“would it be less embarrassing if i told you i only turned you down because i didn’t want you to have to deal with all this? you know, my… position.” now it was your turn to look away as you elaborated.

“i knew you’d worry and i knew you’d care and i didn’t want to have to tell you. but it would’ve felt wrong to keep it secret if i hadn’t turned you down. but now you know anyway. so i guess i don’t have a reason to turn you down now?” you laughed awkwardly. why was talking about feelings so hard and weird?

“so are you going to accept my hand in boyfriend-girlfriend relationship?” he held out his hand as he pretended he was joking, but you knew he was serious. still, it made you laugh, genuinely this time.

“why are you so awful?”, you asked, smiling up at him who was staring down at you anxiously until you grabbed his hand. “but i want to know the terms and conditions.”

“you accept?” he really really wanted to be sure, and when you nodded the brightest smile he’d ever given you lit up his face.

“first, you have to accept that i’ll introduce you to everyone as my girlfriend now. objections?”

you pretended to think, teasing him with a long ‘hmmm…’ and a melodramatic thinking pose before you smiled at him and said: “i can deal with that. anything else?”

“nothing i can think of. for now”, it was his turn to tease you now. “except…”

you looked at him questioningly and found him avoiding your eyes again.

“except?”

“if it’s fine with you i kinda want to kiss you.” his voice got more quiet again as he said those last words, and you wondered if he’d always been this adorable or if this was a recent development.

“go ahead.”

it surprised you that you were able to get that out as relaxed as you did when your insides felt tangled up, like someone was doing acrobatics in your stomach. but that thought quickly faded into nothingness when mingi leaned in, slowly as if he was trying to see if you were actually serious about it, before kissing you.

as soon as his lips touched yours it felt like things had finally fallen into place. you gave his hand (which you were still holding from his awkward proposal earlier) a firm squeeze and you could feel him smile against you which made you smile as well. you just stood there, kissing and smiling and being comfortable, and everything felt right.

that was, until someone opened the door. or tried to, rather - you and mingi were still standing in front of it from when he had prevented your embarrassment-motivated emigration earlier. it bumped against mingi’s back and yeosang’s head could be seen peeking into the apartment.

“we should’ve taken a little longer. they’re doing pg-rated things”, he informed the others, who were without a doubt waiting right behind him and curious to see if their plan had worked. embarrassed, you moved away from your now boyfriend, who followed suit to allow his friends to actually enter the apartment.

“i told you it would work!”

wooyoung seemed triumphant, and you soon knew why when he looked at yeosang and told him: “you owe me fried chicken now.”

“so this was your plan?”, you asked innocently, and he was too excited about the free meal that was to come to notice the look in your eyes.

“it was!”

“i’m gonna kill you.”

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seedleaflesssapling · 3 years

Text

Ver 2.0? Turning Point?

I can't really identify to which point in my life that i started to doubt myself but im pretty sure that it was because of UP. Damn, that school, my uni. It do really have the ability to make you feel small; i was in a disadvantaged side when i entered it, you know. I was acquainted, no we did not really talked one-on-one, but i heard when we did introductions - Pisay, UP High, science comprehensive schools, Xavier University, who wouldn't be intimidated by that when you came from Col. Ruperto Abellon National School (who would know where that is? I was lucky enough for a teacher recognized it and my classmates be like 'ahhhhhh,' .....really?! I dont even know where xavier is, it just sounds cool). Another thing is that, i wasn't a stem shs graduate - a leverage(?) or excuse (?) that i always use for them to know that i am at disadvantaged side here, not their competitor, probably a NOBODY. They, being stem graduates, have capstone projects you never thought that they have at that age, but i would hear them saying that it was publish in this journal (whatever, idk the journals lmao, i dont even understand their studies 2nd lmao, but that was some smart shit you know, a shit that makes me feel pathetic for being too proud of my what? Correlational study from inconsistent surveys?!!! Wtf, wtf, wtf). But it was a very good peer pressure you know, i kinda turned it that way. Being left behind, being on the rock bottom, i have no other place to go but up. It wasn't the goal, like making or taking the top spot, i just need to survive.

Inevitably, the exams came. I had hard time adjusting chem but math was kind to me. Who would have thought that i would get two 1.0 at my math subjects for the first semester, the sem that i thought i would barely pass. I was even a CS for that sem. Who would have thought? Our first chemical engineering subject that involves computations was on the list the next semester and the first exam, out of 100 i got something like 20ish. WTF. THAT WAS MY FIRST FAILED EXAM. but no, never did cry but tears were flooding inside. So apparently, i have to focus more on this subject and i did. Some were still failing, but i raised my average up. We also had physics, my first ever physics. I really love physics that time or that sir rommel is just a very good professor. I got the highest score on our second LE, everybody else did fail. Small victories. Not that they lose, but i just won. But i heard one time they were talking about me re: passing the physics exam and even getting a high score. They were uhm.. a guy i really look up to cause his good, the other was a girl that idk but i think she didn't like me back then. They were friends but eventually the girl transferred uni because who cares why. i heard the guy saying something like sin.o gid na si franklin nga taas iya score man, maybe even worse than that, i still look up to the guy even until now. But wtf. I really took it in that time, like i wanted to cry but did not. With all that, i got a fair grade at physics. I still got 1.0 at maths that sem and even maintained being on the CS list. S M I L E. BECAUSE WE HAVE A MIDYEAR CLASS. VERY EXHAUSTING FOR SOMEONE WHO DONT WANT ANYTHING BUT JUST ADJUST, SURVIVE, AND FIND MEANING OF BEING A UP STUDENT. It was just one subject and it was math, but i got 2.0?!!! I have no excuse to that, i am very grateful for the family who accommodated me. After midyear class, i did got sick, it sucks, really sucks. I wanted to file an LOA for the next academic year, it is the only thing i can think of for me to go back on track (i haven't said that my parents pushed me to graduate with latin honor and i wanted to also for my resume to look good because everything else in me is effed up). I really wanted to pause and be free for a while but i also wanted to graduate on time (mostly because i want to give the bitches who dared to have expectations be put on my shoulders not the satisfaction, but the audacity to tell them 'i aint did it for ya') so i asked mama. THANK GOD, SHE DID SAY NA KUNG ANO LANG KAYA MO, AMO LANG DA IH 😭😭🤧🤧 so i enrolled, but went to school late, haven't attended the school opening but all is good. I did kind of reset, just enough for me to face school again.

Second year, it was fucked. I did really love coding on octave and doing sheets at ms excel though. On that year, we have formed the che 103 bagsak group. Together with two of my classmates on 103 and math 55, we became buddies after failing che 103 on the first LE, another 30 over 100 exam hahahahaha. We made bawi just enough for us to pass the subject hahahahahuhu. I have thermodynamics sub, i barely pass. Thank G na wala ko nag removal. If ever i did, i am so sure that i wont make it. My GWA for that sem was not enough for me to be a CS. Who cares? I still did, actually but mama was never been too pushy since then, even since after midyear, after getting that 2.0 grade from the only subject i am good at. Btw, my math 55 for first sem, second year, was 1.25. Not a 1.0 but still, it's good. Second semester that year was when pandemic hit so there's nothing much to tell. I was, sorry but i was really, glad to be away from school for a while, not until for a while became forever. Virtual university set-up was very hard. With too much from taking in whatever i see and hear on my surroundings, even just at home, everything is difficult. It is very hard to find motivation and discipline in studying when i was surrounded with people who do nothing. Even to this point i am writing, everyday is like a battle, but is mostly an internal one. Self vs self, a war no one knows who will win. So the confidence, the tower of knowledge i did build, exponentially went down. I did really well when i was in grade 10, i did my best that time and it can be seen at the achievements i had that year. Being consistently on top 1 the whole year, placing second on division MMC (even getting the highest score on the written elimination round for the whole cluster), doing well sa physics under maam andico, placings on cluster journalism competitions - it was like a record best, best record (?) Whatever. But it wasn't enough you know, i eventually came fourth like wtf. I had read from somewhere Newton saying like the two years when he did write the three laws of motion and the calculus stuff were the two best years of his life, and it kept me thinking that what if mine already passed? That it was when i was in high school?

But, back when i was in school, every time that i was belittling myself or even at random times that i would feel nervous for nothing, my classmates and close friends would say na:

Uno mo man ang Math, uno mo na na (it was a one or two time thing, what if chamba lang to???)

Ikaw man highest sa first le sa thermo (it was really an absolutely one time thing, i barely passed that sub)

Alam ka man sa physics (i was just invested on physics and maybe nachambahan lang na ang ginpractice ko solve kay parallel sa exam ni sir)

Alam ka, d ka lang confident (OKAY???!)

I was ignoring those shit cause who cares if i did really good that time. Yeah, it felt good but it wasn't fulfilling. Satisfied but not happy. But with recent events, i think i would be changing. This post will be a written contract that i will push to be better, to start trusting myself, and build that confidence glow behind me; to believe that i am bright and i can hack it, whatever it may be.

For coherence, i would itemize na lang all of the events that brought me to epiphany lol

It was Friday, 17 Sep, when Dean, in our plant design subject, gave an activity for us - to come up with solutions that would address problems he presented. 1 off grid island community (either you address the water, electricity, and phone reception/signal problem under a 100k budget) and 2 vinegar packaging with a 500 mL volume and should cost less than the cost of vinegar. The due's on Monday, 20 Sep. The challenge is that you should come up with an idea that is not the same with those who already turned in their proposed solutions. I haven't turned in mine until Sunday afternoon. We are 23 in class, hence there should be 23 proposed solutions for each problem. However, only 20 or 21 turned in their solutions and as a student who decided to do it three days after the sheet was given, i was at the second to the last of the entries hahaha. I have limited choice since a lot have been proposed. And ngl, i did entered my idea for the first problem at Sunday evening and for the second problem it was on the afternoon of the next day. Those were basic solutions cause who am I? Am just your basic guy.

Tuesday, 21 Sep (#NeverForget #NeverAgain), class again for plant design (PD). Dean discussed stuffs which im ngl, i did not listen because im bored (not until he said 'we'll have a 5-min break and we'll have a quiz after that' like wtf, how will we do our quiz???!). After the short break, I did study cause i panicked as hell, he presented the prospects of the course, that we will be divided in groups and that the leaders were chosen based on the solutions they turned in the activity previously given. So there's no quiz, i was calm the whole time after that until my name was called. Like wtf??! Your basic guy will be a leader???! Hello!!! So i chat people, asked them if it was a good thing (course it was!!!? So dumb right?!). And then, i asked another leader and she agreed to my argument that we should only be divided into six instead of seven as what dean has decided. So i chatted dean (pic below). I just accepted the role half-heartedly.

As leaders, we should be hiring people for our team and we should make pubs. I dont have a canva account to help me do pubs. I made mine at MS ppt HAHAHAHAHAHA but im good so its cute. We were assigned with projects and i get to have the 4-member team. The vacant roles were project maven and liaison officer for a 3-member team. In my pubs, i included scrummaster as position to be filled, cause who am i to lead?! So yeah, that's it. I did the pubs Wednesday and I submitted my resume Thursday (third to the last hahahaha but my resume's cute hahaha).

Thursday. So i had this invite by a classmate to join the Shell event long time ago. He was reaching out for someone to ask Dean for his approval because Dean did not replied to the email he sent. So, i volunteered. I really want this competition cause this will be my first and maybe last competition as a UP student. So i DMed dean and blah blah blah he asked for selection process. I relayed the message and apologize to them for being me because i was thinking that it was me who made him come up with the decision of having the team be selected. Like, wtf i was just asking for his approval. Getting kicked out of the team was not my intention. Those whom i chatted that night were telling me that it wasn't my fault blah blah blah. So i half-heartedly agreed to them.

Friday came, yesterday, the interview. I am very anxious for someone who will be the one asking the applicants lmao. I already have been interviewed before for college applications and somehow remember the feeling, nerve wracking, whatever. To calm my nerves, i listed questions which i never got to ask properly btw, but at least i have concrete ideas on what to ask. The first interviewee was my very closed friend and so we just laugh and laugh and laugh HAHAHAHAHA. IDK if dean saw it but who cares. And the next and next and next. 3:30 passed by fast and guess what??? YOUR BASIC GUY HAS THE MOST NUMBER OF APPLICANTS TO THE POINT THAT DEAN CUT MY LIST. IT WAS EXHAUSTING BUT VERY FLATTERING. I FEEL SO HONORED. i really thought and very scared at the thought that no one will apply to me but wtf, just wtf. Ranking my applicants was damn hard. 1 i have a dream team but one was cut by dean; 2 this could make my friends mad; 3 this will be the group for the whole year; 4 i am really exhausted. But still, i submitted the list. I was hoping for the people i chose to choose me back. Only two out of three did, i am forever grateful.

Still on Friday, the classmate who invited me to the Shell thing and Dean had a zoom call and discussed about the competition. That classmate told dean what i told him the other day that i might be the reason for the decision of having the selection process done. He told me this through a voice memo, katamad daw magtype. A voice message that i played over and over again. Dean actually find me interesting (?), Invested (?) Idk exactly but the classmate told me na 'may nakikita daw talaga sya sayo. Na grabe ka ka-practical as a person like yung ideas mo daw sa plant design napakasimple lang pero napaka practical to the point daw na madami nag apply sayo kanina. And then, you need more confidence lang daw talaga' so ig, you basic guy is a practical guy now. It's just flattering.

Now, whatever happens, i must meet those expectations right? This could be a lousy motivation but what is if there's none? I dont know why im writing this. I just thought i should get my thoughts out. Ver 2.0? Turning point? Let's just do good 😌

PS I put this on my bio on FB, guess im getting more public, and if you happened to read this because you saw the link on my bio, send me a message about you thoughts.

PPS if your initials are JTZC, these have been my week and i miss you even though you're not interested in me anymore, you are hard to forget

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kristalpepsi · 3 years

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So I'm a singlet and idk very much about systems, I've been following u for a little while but I saw ur drawing of Chara coming back on New Years and I got the impression that it was a depiction of an actual event? Like, a literal memory, not a dramatization or a metaphor or w/e. When y'all aren't fronting are you just straight up chilling and interacting in like a... perceivably physical place?

HLLO srry 4 gettin 2 thise L8!! Ur talkin abt thise post!

Yea bro! So if we draw comics of ourslvs, they’re prtty mch like us documenting whts happnd! I think i cn sy 20-30% of wht we drw is us jst journaling inspce stff. Its 100% NOT a mtphr, tht comic ws me quotin exctly wht hppnd n wht it lookd like inspce :^0

As an explan8ion, sniff, Christmas absltly SUCKD like it ws so bd, id sy it ws trmtzng 2 bc nw we associ8 christms w wht hppnd, i dnt wnna explain wht hppnd bc i dnt rlly hav 2, b it wsnt gr8 n we get rlly sick thinkin abt it. So like THAT day, dec 25-26, e realized every1. Dissappeard. Like the whole MFC+ ws unavailabl n missing? 4 half a month they were gone n i kno it dsnt snd like a long time b i promis it ws a long time bc everyth ws kinda uoside dwn

Time skip (n skippng all the cryng bc it ws just me and Sal left here n we missd thm so mch, wew ere so worried abt them if thy were safe etc) 2 New Years, I was crying next 2 ENA, we recntly split her the day after Christmas bc of the Stress™️, I rmmbr i ws even thinkin “i hop i get triggrd by the fireworks so mayb itll scare me so mch Peter wld front” n thats a VERY unhealthy thought, do not Do Tht

B yea tht ddnt work b an hour after New years,,, litrlly that comic happnd n i was SO EMOTIONAL they rlly said “im gnna surprise Kris while he’s cryng n make it like thos movies wher the loved 1 comes back 2 life” /j

Idk wht else 2 sy aftr tht! It happnd in the headspce, i ws crying bith irl n inspce, n in the headspce i heard “teleport noise” they hd this jst rlly calm happy expression n it ws so,,,, good :,^)

I ws so hppy 2 c them again tht I HAD 2 drw it so i cld rmmbr it n i CLDNT exPLAIN the feelng of wht it lookd n felt like so i hd 2 drw it so i cld sho ppl!

ANYWY 2 answr ur OTHR qstion, ys we hav smth calld a headspace (thers diffrnt ways 2 call it; innerworld, mindscape, “the inside”, etc)

In our systm, whn we’re not frontin , were in the headspce! It’s prtty big 4 us n afaik we all hav our own rooms :^0 the MFC lives in 1 area inside the mansion tht weve startd calling The Dorms, b its knda like hotel? Even tho we ddnt,,,,, build higher n lower floors thers an elevator 4 som rsn? Skjlh,snjsidk y its ther b i think thats new n if u take it down it can take u 2 Jamie’s floor, yea she has an entire floor 2 herself w fake doors excpt 2 hers if u turn 2 the left cornr . Its also an old elevator like thers no actual doors, its the cagey door thts fancy n floral dkdjsk

We hav a meadow, a huge forst, a ruind city, etc! We hav a frontin room that has no walls, its litrlly jst a Void i guess? b thats not even the REAL void

We call the real void the Void-void or Real Void, the real void is like the 4th wll if u hav the power 2 clip thru the headspce like a vidya game OR if its an accdnt

As far as i knw, the ONLY! Ppl who cn do tht is Chara and Asriel (UT) (im nt sirprsd)

Alven also had tht power b hes in a lng sleep rn,, or hes 4gottn hw 2 do it. Jaiden im nt sre b he is abl 2 swim thru it

Tho i rcmmnd not stayin int he void-void 4ever bc Twilight ws stuck ther 1nce n nw has problms KHSKS ok im done infodumpin

#ask #SRRY 4 INFODUMPIN #talkn abt headspce FUN b also its WY 2 mch we hav wy 2 much histry 2 put in 1 ask #o we 4got we need 2 burn dwn n destry so mny thngs in the hdspce #so nw our map is gnna b innaccur8 b its fine skhdkd #anon #SRRY #headspace #chara #about us #singlet #singlets #taggng thise so u cn find urself lol

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quinncupine · 3 years

Note

Is it bad to ask all numbers for the ask game? (╥﹏╥)

All the numbers you say? Sure, why not! Let's do it!😆

1. What song makes you feel better?

1953 by The National Parks. Its such a cute song and the love in it just makes me smile every time I hear it.

2. What's your feel-good movie?

My favorite feel good movie will always be Ever After. I absolutely love fairy tale movies this one is just amazing and warms my heart!

3. What's your favorite candle scent?

Hmm, I love a lot of scents, but I think my favorite are any that have vanilla in them. I have one right now that's like a vanilla walnut coffee cake and it smells sooo good.

4. What flower would you like to be given?

I love lilies. They are my favorite. I think white lilies are my top favorite right now!

5. Who do you feel most you around?

I would have to say my best friend! I tell her literally everything (probably too much) but i feel so comfortable around her and she is the absolute sweetest gal you'd ever meet!

6. Say three nice things about yourself (3 physical and 3 non-physical)

I think my eyes are pretty, they're hazel!

When I actually do my hair, i think it looks pretty, especially when its curly

During the summer, my freckles really start to show and I love freckles!

Sometimes I can be funny (most of the time its without meaning too😅)

Im a really good listener

Im really good a doling out smiles on the daily

7. What color brings you peace?

I think deep dark colors can bring out a calming peace, like sapphire and viridian

8. Tag someone, or multiple people who make you feel good

Well for one, you Miya! You always bring the sweetest things to me and I love you for that!

@thecindy ya always make me feel so loved!

@dorki-c girl ya crazy and I love crazy! Who else am I gonna conspire with?🤣

@miriobaby ya gorgeous lady, you're one of my biggest supporters and I'm so glad I have you as a friend!

@peachsenpie babe, you're absolutely amazing and whenever I talk with you, I always feel so much better!

@dragonsdreamoffire darling, you are so sweet and I love talking with you!

I know there are so many more, but I can't fit them all here and I'm sorry if I missed you, but know that I love you!

9. What calms you down?

Laying down and listening to music, or watching a show, or writing. Those are the main things I do to calm down.

10. What's something you're excited for?

Im excited for summer, when I can finally go to the beach again! My skin can't take much more of this cold frigid air.

11. What's your ideal date?

Ummm, let's see. I think doing something fun like going on a citywide scavenger hunt (I've done that before and it was super fun!) I would love to go to one of those piers with vendors and games and things and order from a stand then just walk along the pier and watch the water? Maybe go on a ferris wheel? I don't know, I never really thought much about it.

12. How are you?

Currently, I'm sick. I'm actually waiting for the doc to call me back. I'm trying to get some work done, but I just have no energy to really go do anything, especially anything physically rn. Hopefully I get better as the week goes on.

13. What's your comfort food?

A few favorites are: garlic bread, mashed potatoes, and my moms homemade nachos 😋

14. Favorite feel-good show?

I have a couple right now: New Girl, Shitts Creek, Psych, and The Great British Baking Show

16. Compliment someone who sent you this number

Miya, you're an amazing person and I'm so glad we're mutuals because I think the world is a better place with you in it! You're always so sweet and kind and you're not afraid to let other people know it!!🥰

17. Fairy lights or LED lights?

Definitely fairy lights. They make everything feel cozy and warm and just a bit magical.

18. Do you still loved stuffed animals?

Of course, what's not to love. They're soft and squishy and make great cuddle partners. Plus they're super cute so I don't see anything wrong with loving stuffed animals!

19. Most important thing in your life?

My family. They're everything to me. Period.

20. What do you want most in the world right now?

To see my family. I saw them once in the past year and I won't be able to see them again until summer so I'm really missing them.

21. If you could tell your past self one thing, what would it be?

Take more risks. Don't hesitate so much on things because worrying won't do you any favors.

22. What would you say to your future self?

Can you come back and smack my past self for being a dumbass please and thank you.

23. Favorite piece of clothing?

My super soft oversized sweatshirt that says "Stay Whelmed" written on the front 😌

24. What's something you do to de-stress?

Naps. If not naps then watching something funny.

25. What's the best personal gift someone could give you?

If it's homemade, I already love it 10000% if someone loves me enough to take the time to make me something, then I know they're a keeper

26. What movie would you want to live in?

Oh boy, I dont know. I guess I would say Narnia. Now that sounds like a fun magical world to live in.

27. Which character would you want to be?

Like if I could be any character out there? I would say Momo Yaoyorozu. She's got the coolest quirk and I really just love her to pieces. She's so precious.

28. Hugs or hand holding?

Can I say both? If I had to pick one, I would choose hand holding because you can actually move around and do things with that one😊

29. Morning, afternoon, or night?

Morning. I'm a morning person (usually) i have a terrible time staying up late and I like my sleep, so I usually turn in early.

30. What reminds you of home? (Doesn't have to mean house...just the feeling of home)

I think my moms perfume, a slightly messy house, fireplace smells or bonfires at night, dogs lying around (always right in your path for some reason), sipping wine, there's always some sport playing in the background on the TV, marvel marathons, lots of throw pillows, card games, billards, country music. I could go on, but those are what immediately come to mind🥰

Thanks for the ask Miya! 🥰🙃💖 love ya!!

#long asks!#all the asks #quinn talks #@nyanyabisjjj #thank you miya #amazing mutuals

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heartofwritiing · 4 years

Text

Lies

Paring(s): slight!Actor!Mark x fem!reader, Darkiplier x fem!reader

a/n: #16 from this prompt list. “All he ever did was use you. Why can’t you see that? “

Ive changed this fic some many time and have been writing and editing it for WEEKS so here it is! Its really rough so please ignore any mistakes I had to edit this myself and If i missed something please just ignore it lol I just really wanted to get this out! This is my take on ending 31 from a heist with markiplier hope you enjoy!

this wasn’t requested Im just in a angsty mood :/

Warning(s): Angst, crying and more angst.

The last thing I remember was walking down a hallway of portraits of people whose eyes were covered with a stripe of black paint. I kept receiving messages from an unknown number and when I reached the end of the hall the last painting had Mark standing on a staircase in a red robe that started peeling away then my vision went black. I felt sick, my head was pounding with pain and my body felt heavy. I opened my eyes to more darkness and ringing in my ears. two arms engulfed me into an embrace. I tried pushing away but I was too weak. Their voice went through my ears making me wince.

“Name?”

The voice turned into a hushed whisper, my hearing started coming back slowly making everything sound muffled.

“Please, can you hear me?” the voice pleaded.

My eyes slowly lifted open revealing nothing and I began to panic. Was I dead? No, don’t be dumb Name. The person said my name again pulling me from my thoughts and the gears in my head began to turn. I looked up and wanted to cry. Damien?

“Damien,” I whispered.

“He’s here darling,” he said reaching his hand up to tuck a strand of my hair behind my ear, a gentle touch that made my cheeks warm up.

I was confused at his words and the way he had spoken, the tone of his voice seemed sad and hurt Dameins eyes searched mine. I had been quiet for a few minutes. I was trying to process how he was here.

“It's alright you're safe now” He smiles softly.

I think he could tell I was dazed and confused but what did he mean by safe? My head is aching, pounding pain shot through my brain as I tried to remember anything. This didn’t feel real and everything just felt hazy. It felt like a dream and I had to know if I was awake.

“Kiss me,” I blurt out.

He seems shocked for a second probably thinking this wasn’t this time nor place to do this but I needed to feel him.

“I need to know this isn’t a dream or some fantasy of mine,” I tell him.

Without another word, his hand reached down under my chin to tilt my head back up. His black soulless eyes connected with mine for a moment before he pressed his lips to mine. A knot formed in my stomach when he grabbed my hips bringing our bodies closer, my breath hitched, our lips brushing against each other made my head spin. I reached up to tug on his hair and he let out a breathy moan into my mouth. Pulling away our breaths mixed and his eyes were clouded with lust. This felt real. The feeling of his chilled lips was real. He was real.

“Did that feel like a dream?” He breathed out. God. Butterflies were punching the inside of my stomach trying to break free. If I had the physical strength to lean up on my toes to kiss him again I would. All I could muster was a little nod, he chuckled

“I’ve got to get you away from here,” he spoke after a minute.

Damien took my hand in his leading me through the nothingness and my mind began to race with questions. What was going on, I needed answers and I wasn't going to be pushed aside anymore. It has always been like this. I would forget everything and be dragged around by everyone and I was fed up with the games. I stopped and yanked my hand out of Damien’s grip. He turned to me, his face frowned pure confusion across his face.

“Name, I don’t have the time to explain-”

“No!” I shout. I was tired of being scared

“I want to know what's going on, no more lies or secrets Damien.” I was so frustrated, tears started welling up in my eyes.

Damien sighed, clenching his fists, trying to suppress his anger. He walked closer to me and placed his hands on the sides of my face and everything turned white. Flashes of people, memories flooded through seeing a mansion and then a group of people playing poker. the night of Mark’s poker game, things went horribly wrong. The whole event was a trap in order for him to get revenge. I died. He took over my body, throwing my soul into a mirror and prisoning me for a hundred years. until Mark had found me and erased my memories replacing them with one of me and him together. Lastly, I saw how Damien became this new form he called himself Dark and that Damien was gone forever but he still had his memories.

My vision returned to see Dark standing away from me now everything was coming back into my brain slowly. My mouth fell open and I remembered, Damien was the love of my life, and to hear that he was dead broke my heart. I started to cry again, grief, sadness, and anger rolled into one coming out as a sob. How could I forget?

“For all these years I thought you were gone,” His voice was trembling.

I stared at him as he stood a few feet away from me, tears rolled down his grey cheeks and onto his white suit.

“I never forgave myself for killing you,”

“I don’t understand why Mark would do all of this,” I said, but I understood it completely. I just didn’t want to accept the fact Mark became mad with jealousy and wanted to make William miserable.

“He’s our friend. Friends would never do anything like this,” my bottom lip started quivering.

“He wouldn’t, he-”

Dark said my name in a hushed whisper and grabbed my shoulders slightly causing me to look up at him as he began to speak.

“I know it’s hard to understand any of this but, he’s been manipulating you, Making you forget everything, Forget me.” He said. “Mark is not a good person and I have to get you away from him.”

I didn’t want to accept what Mark had done. Mark had been there for me when we were kids and always have been so close, I wanted to help him. Dark had explained that Mark’s mansion overtime began to host some sort of entity to put ideas into his head, and it conjured up this idea of getting all the people who wronged Mark together to get revenge. I wanted to help my friend even if he was being controlled. I could tell Dark was reading my thoughts. I could see it in his eyes, he clenched his jaw screwing his eyes shut.

He inhaled before he opened his mouth to speak.

“You’re not actually considering helping him.” His teeth grit. “After what he’s done, to you, to all of us.” His voice raises and the light around his form pules red. I try not to think about it, maybe it was just this place or my eyes tricking me.

“He’s our friend, Damien,” I plead.

His jaw clenched.

“That’s not my name anymore,” He said bitterly.

I was shocked at his words. He was angry with me, now I really knew Damien was gone.

“ALL HE EVER DID WAS USE YOU. WHY CAN’T YOU SEE THAT!?!” Dark yelled, suddenly gripping my arms harshly.

I jumped, the whole area around us shakes and feels like it's cracking, falling apart at his outburst. Darks aura was buzzing and glowing red showing off his anger and frustration. After a moment his body relaxed and his shoulders dropped, he mumbled an apology I barely heard and stood up straight. Dark struggled to stand when he fell backward suddenly, I grabbed his hands so he didn’t hit the ground trying to keep him on his feet but something was pulling to let my grip go.

I squeaked when Dark fell back and yanked me with him, his back hit the floor with a thud that echoed and our chests collided. I groaned and slowly sat up on his thighs our hands still laced together as he sat up

“Its Mark, he knows I’m with you,” His eyes stared into mine and I could’ve sworn for a moment that they shifted into a dark brown color. My heart swelled thinking that those were Damiens eyes looking through. “He’s trying to separate us again.”

“I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry,” he spoke in a regretful tone. “This is the only way I’ll ever be able to see you again,” Dark lifted his hands to the sides of my head again, his eyelids closing in concentration. I was bracing myself for what was about to happen and soon sleep began to take over my body and my eyes fell closed.

Dark cradled a unconscious Name against his chest stroking her hair every few seconds. He knew it made her calm even if she wasn’t conscious, he knew she could feel his presence and the feeling of his fingers in her hair. He sat there in the darkness like for the past hundred years being stuck in his own head. Names body began to disappear and Dark was alone; she was with Mark now and would be until he found her again. And could finally take her to a safe place forever. He looked up into the void, praying she would be safe soon.

I stood in front of the museum beside Mark yawning and trying to fight my eyes shutting. I looked down at my timer watch and the numbers 2:30 am looked back at me. I looked down at my satchel and belt making sure I had all my tools and my grappling hook was secured to my hip. I sighed before turning to Mark to see him checking his equipment as well.

“Why are we doing this again?” I ask.

Mark’s head lifts to catch my eyes for a second then going back down.

“You said you wanted to go on another adventure right?” He reminds me.

A heist at almost three in the morning when I should have been asleep was not what I meant by going on a crazy adventurer. Going on a trip to Europe like we’ve always talked about maybe but not the local museum in the town we lived in. Mark said that what we were stealing had some importance to it so I was willing to help my friend out.

“Yeah but I’m tired, you should have at least made me coffee before we left so I could actually function.” I scowl. He shakes his head and laughs.

Mark takes his grappling hook off his belt and walks towards the brick building raising his arm he pulls the trigger and the hook goes flying up and catching the ledge of the roof. I do the same and we both walk up the side of the building tiring to be as quiet as possible walking to a small open vent that leads into the museum. I follow Mark’s lead and begin to think this was a bad idea and should’ve kept my mouth shut last week but continued.

#actor!mark #Darkiplier #x reader #who killed markiplier #a heist with markiplier #actor!mark x reader #darkiplier x reader #fanfiction

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plaggs-stanky-cheese · 3 years

Text

Princess of the Order Chapter 3

I wake up in a room full of darkness and 2 people in white jackets. All I am able to remember is Marinette screaming my name. MARINETTE!!!! I yell and struggle in my binds. My struggles stop short when thousands of needles are thrust into my body. I scream in pain, completely unaware of Talia A-Ghul watching in the shadows with an evil smirk on her face

Marinette's screams ring in my ears as the needles are being thrust into my skin.

" DAMIEN!

DAMIEN! "

"Damian!"

My head snaps up and I stop fiddling with my ring. I see Grayson all up in my face. " What?!" I say pushing Grayson away. " You zoned out baby-bird, we were asking about the bust you did yesterday. Can you identify any of the dealers?" " Yes, I can. It was Smith and Douglas. Now if you excuse me I will be heading to my room." I quickly get up and put my hands in my pockets by habit. Instead of heading up to my room, I headed over to the gym. I quickly hang up a punching bag and start.

Left

Right

Left

Right

Uppercut

Roundhouse kick

Repeat

I closed my eyes and repeated the routine. Flashes of the doctors went through my mind. I hit harder. Soon I notice that the bag has gone limp and unhinge it. I drop it on the floor and grab a new one. Since I had a lot of training with the miraculi I became more physically and mentally stronger. I kept going, each punch getting stronger and stronger.

"Damien look! A flower bud! Do you think that it will bloom in my hand because of the ladybug miraculous?"

" No Damien you silly goose the bunny hoop hops in the tree then comes out the other hole!'

" *giggles* D-Damien s-stop p-put the robes b-back haha"

" DAMIEN NO WATCH OUT!"

Someone taps my shoulder. I immediately turn around and punch them. " Demon spawn...you good?" says Todd, his head leaning to the side successfully dodging the punch. "-TT- I am fine Todd '' I grumble and head over to my water bottle and towel. "okay... Be ready Alfred will be leaving at 7:30" Todd says and leaves.

I quickly get ready and hop into the car. As Alfred pulls up to the academy I fiddle around with my ring. I momentarily slip it off and examine the inside of it. I read the carved message

"I love You Dove"

I stare at it for a while until Alfred opens the door for me. I grab my book bag and slip the ring back on. I climb out and head over to the homeroom ignoring everyone.

Damien had just finished writing his notes for class when a bright light filled his vision. He didn't flinch nor close his eyes. All he did was stare. He was then greeted by his Queen. He saw Marinette. Her clothing disheveled and ripped and scars all over her. Damien reaches out toward the girl and softly says "Sahib Alsumui, are you okay?" his only response is an ear-bleeding screech and a stab in the stomach

Everyone stares at Damien when in the middle of a lesson he gets up and mumbles about going to the washroom. He then walks carefully out the door, confusing everyone. Jon stares at his friend with worry etched on his features

The class finishes and the bell rings as a symbol of the class ending. All the students get up and head over to their last class of the day, Damien still nowhere to be seen. Not one student notices Jon Kent frantically calling Damien on his phone.

Damien bursts into the "Haunted " bathroom on the second floor. He grasps his stomach, gasping for air. He has had many of these kinds of...attacks but he never reacted to them much which left the question ringing in his head.

" Why am I affected now?"

But Damien did not let that thought run through his brain, no not yet. He gasped out in pain and scrunched up into himself. He falls to the side of the floor, right before his vision blurs.

Jon Kent cared for his friends very much. The sunshine child befriended almost everyone that he met and cared for them deeply. If anything happened to them Jon would never forgive himself, so imagine the fear that coursed throughout the half-Kryptonians veins when he checked almost every bathroom in the school and his Best friend wasn't in any of them. Jon's head was filled to the brim with many dark possibilities of what could have happened to the Wayne ward.

The boy did not have a care for his last class. It was art and he shared it with Damien, like the previous one. Damien could be back at art right now Jon, you're just being paranoid! A voice in his head whispered. Jon considered that idea and was leaning over to keep looking when he realized he had no leads. Jon sighed and made his way towards class, head down.

" Again." said the cold voice of Talia Al Ghul, my new 'mother'. I shook my head murmuring pleads, only to be stopped short when I felt the same agonizing pain that only came from having electricity shot through your veins. I knew Talia's plan was to make me feel nothing, and so far it wasn't working. I gritted my teeth and clenched my fists as my body screamed in pain. I could barely see the outline of Talia when suddenly everything stopped. My ears rang as I was forced out of the chair and escorted to my room. I gingerly step into my bed and look over to my ring. In 3 more days, it would mark the day I had lost my home and the only 2 people that meant anything to me. Marinette and Master Fu. I still hadn't read the message that was engraved inside the ring. My heart fell, heavy with grief and pain. I...I couldn't stay positive much longer. The chances that Marinette and Fu were alive were 10 to none. I didn't know how long I would be able to hold up without them. Life for me was full of pain, I had no reason to live. Suddenly a laugh rang through my ears. I twisted the ring on my finger, tempted to take it off and read the message but I remember the promise I made to Marinette, I knew I would see her again. I knew I would get her permission to see the message.

Damien jolted up, gasping for air. He looked around his surroundings not remembering where he was or how he got on the floor. He hastily got up and looked into the washroom mirror. His clothes disheveled and his hair a complete mess. He sighed and washed his hands and splashed his face with cold water. He then tried to flatten his hair and smooth out his clothing. In the end, he hadn't been too successful but it was the best he could do. There weren't any clocks in the washroom so he pulled out his phone. It read 3:30 and Damien let out a string of curses. School had ended almost an hour ago and all after school meetings had already ended. No one was there but himself and the staff. He opened his messages and scrolled through the threads, the string of curses growing longer. The chat had said

circusBOI: Damien? Alfred came home without you and Jon said you left class early saying u had to go to the washroom. U Good? we are worried

Broooooose: Damien? Answer please, we're all getting worried.

Deprived Of Coffee: Damien! Answer no joke rn this ain't funny

Ghost: tf are u demon spawnnnnn this ain't funnyyyyy broose made me get ready to look for uuu (but srsly pls answer im worried) I was chilling aaa

And Hundreds more. Damien raced out of the washroom before stopping at history class to grab his things. Damien did not stop running until he made it to the manor. He had never been more grateful for his training with the miraculous. Panting he rang the doorbell and rested his hands on his knees. A camera came peering out and Alfred's voice rang out. " Wayne Residence, How may I assist you?" " *pant* Hey Alfred, *pant*" " Master Damien!" Alfred said in surprise. The doors immediately opened with Alfred running out to help him. " Where were you, Master Damien? We were all worried sick! The other masters went out to look for you!." Alfred dragged the boy inside and placed him in the nearest chair. The butler disappeared for a moment before returning with water. The butler murmured something about calling up the other masters from the Batcave before leaving Damien alone. Damien placed down his things and hastily drank. A minute or so later Dick burst in everyone else not far behind. A string of " BABYBIRD!" " DEMON SPAWN" "DAMI '' and others rang out as his family and Jon gave him a huge hug all at once. Ignoring the feeling of hugging them back he let his arms go limp around them not bothering to remove them.

Soon enough they let go and Jon said " Dude, what happened? You literally got up and walked out of class mumbling about going to the washroom!" Everyone switched looks while Damien looked down biting the inside of his cheek. He hadn't thought of an excuse yet. He couldn't tell them that he wasn't actually Bruce's child. "Wait, Damien didn't even ask the teacher? daMIEN MUMBLED?!" Jason yelled out panic lacing his voice. Bruce sat down next to the most recent robin and asked: " Damien what happened?"

" Damien, what happened?" I stayed quiet. I could sense Drakes gaze over me. I can feel him analyzing his every move. Drake was the smartest of them all, so I am quite surprised he didn't notice that I'm not bruce's real son. " Were you attacked by a Rogue?" asked Tim. I think that over in my head. It could work as a good excuse but..it's too risky.

"No.." I finally said. I didn't know what to say. " Then what happened baby bird?" said Grayson the most concern I have ever seen etched onto his features. "I...I was actually in the washroom when I felt a prick at the back of my neck and then everything went black. I don't know what happened in the interval I was unconscious" I fibbed. " It must be the League then. No one can sneak up on Damien no matter how hard they tried" stated Bruce murmuring. It made my heart swell in pride happy that my father figure thought so, even if the statement was a lie. I was the best at the order, only second to Marinette. She was the best anyone had ever seen since the order first started and the first ladybug was chosen. Dick nodded at Bruce's statement and said " We'll keep a watch on them" then patted my shoulder and left. Bruce quickly told me to finish my homework before he, Drake, and Todd exit the room leaving me and Jon. Before I could say anything Jon whispered " You really scared me Damien. Don't do that again please" looking up towards me with a pleading look. A look that made me want to tell Jon everything, tell him that I wasn't who he thought I was. All I could bite out was this " I-I can't promise that Jon. I can't." Jon nodded in response and brought out my homework His voice thick with emotion, he said: " Well, wanna get started on this? I'll go get mine!".

Robin jumped from rooftop to rooftop occasionally grappling his way to the next building. Nightwing joined him a bit after laughing as Robin went faster in attempts to beat the first robin. Robin was mid grapple when he yelped in pain and fell through the air.

"ROBIN!" yelled out Nightwing before running over to catch him mid-fall.

Into the coms spoke Batman as he asked Nightwing what happened. Nightwing quickly answered panting, as he held Robin in his hands. He quickly checked his brother's pulse before saying in his coms " Agent A ready an IV and bed, QUICK!"

~~~~

yes its a bit shorter then the last chappie but it had to be shart cus yall gonna be getting a surprise soon and I had to work on that hehe

annnyyyywayyy

MERRRY CHRISTMAS

HAPPY NEW YEAR

MAY ALL YALL STAY SAFE AND HEALTHY LOVE YOU GUYSSSS

feliz navidad yall

ADIOS

#damienette #Princess of the Order #marinette #damien

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shytiff · 3 years

Text

Jan 2021 Wins

ive “journaled” for 6 months now. it started as small ___ wins because when you feel rly empty, even doing the bare minimum feels like a win. written down some of the wins. i think until now i’d like to keep the “win” part. a win against my shadow sometimes. a win in life. some things to be grateful for. a win for remembering it later in the future. i know some days im just basically doing nothing. there are a lot of wars not won by me. but im still tryna ✨manifest✨

1 - woke up. watched bts’ 2021 seasons greetings. read trap city. afternoon nap. pupuy’s mbah passed away. i got DOMS in my body even though i did the barest of exercise yesterday (frail, i know). shower, matcha latte.

2 - the x banner atikah and i sent for racil post thesis defense has arrived lmaoo. mom made delicious (and sweet) fried banana. did some studying (more than usual, bcs the bar is on the floor)

3 - ate muesli, 3 risols. Kopsus coklat at flavola. Stayed there from 12-ish to 17:30 lmaooo. weekly bahas soal w/ fi. Rapat nemo

4 - first day of collab module. Barely cicil ukmppd. My mood is normal-ish but i hardly have the will to study. Dinner is fried fish with mentai sauce, potato wedges, and saladdd by mom

5 - collab module, qa presentation for rsui reps. finished reviewing tryout 2 solid. did padi pretest (got 66,5). ate chicken porridge, a bit of muesli and vsoy, tan ek tjoan bread, matcha latte, fish and chicken and potato wedges and salad, fried banana. i ate well today lol.

6 - slept during collab webinar, went to clara’s place to study osce and attended padi together. i ate well at clara’s placeee lol. ate nastar, kusuka, white kwetiaw with soup (?), and lele goreng. went back home @ 9 pm. i feel refreshed. even though we’ve half studied half mukbang all day. human interaction rly does heal me. i need human interaction more than i think. at night i dreamed about going to bali, to waterparks, seeing sea creatures, watching a movie displayed on a concert-like stage and screen at the front row.

7 - woke up at 07:55, finished my part for collab group work. felt a bit tired today. the rest of fam went to DM, and when they were on the way back i HURRIED my way out, not even taking a shower lmaoo. got pistachio matcha latte at starbucks dm. now im more skilled in searching the best spot in a cafe to distance myself from people lmao. the matcha latte is served with some sort of pistachio cream and sprinkled with nuts on top. its like when sbux had taro matcha latte and it had purple cream on top. the pistachio taste is quite strong. reviewed TO 1 padi, sent proposals for nemo sponsorship.

8 - did syndrome try out and padi 2 web try out. studied for osce and padi @ clara’s place. wanted to order pizza since clara bought me food before, but she insisted in ordering lmaoo. so dinner is pizza hut

9 - woke up at 11.00 lmao. havent had breakfast. lunch is muesli with the brand new delishhh chocolate granola and cimory banana milk. did one shot try out, got 71. had a google meet with Prof Agus (that ethics book ghostwriting job from a year ago is not finished until now huaaa) that went from 20.00ish and finished at 22.30,,,,, reviewed syndrome try out along the way. havent made my collab self reflection hhhh. i also need to study for osce. also havent edited article for bukang solid. and there goes my saturday nooo

10 - i swear i keep waking up late lmao. Flavola w atikah, racheel later came with wawa. Kopsus coklat and ukmppd class w dr yudo. After class i just talked at flavola (and ended not studying osce at all for sunday). Went to racheel's to pray and talk some more. Hurriedly went back for booty call with fi, watched konser dies natalis first. Tryout and sum study with fi and clar that went from 20:30 to 00:10. Powered by left over kopsus and 2 snackit pia. Rip my sleeping schedule

11 - woke up at 10:30 ish, the lack of meal and horrible sleep pattern (for my standard) produced stuffy nose during the day and a bit of headache that went away for a bit after i ate. Late bfast is muesli, drank protein, ate tan ek tjoan, plus 2 brownies in the evening. Tht coaching w dr niken. Did self reflection for collab. Had dinner without rice, as usual. Ukmppd class w dr ayu. Finished reflection at 21:30 lmao (deadline is 23:55). Tryna sleep and my nose is still itchy and i sneeze a more often. i hope it goes away 2mrw

12 - DV coaching, scele tryout, took a nap before padi cause my head kind of hurts. Les padi while drinking matcha with vsoy less sugar and no added sugar. I can withstand the horrible sugarless cy matcha taste bcs theres a taste of soy. Didnt do anything else. Havent studied osce on my own until now. Astagfirullah

13 - my head still kind of aches. Its goes away when im eating. im eating so well during the weekdays that i gained 2kgs lmao. lazed around the first half of the day. padi. finally tried saint matcha and damnn its an amazing upgrade from Cy matcha. the green color is super different yall. Cy’s green looks sick and tired compared to saint matcha. the taste? immaculate (although coco deli is more fragrant). caffeine? hits. awake and feel normal? yes. messaged an ao3 author and got replied and turns out she’s making a sequel for my fav fic of hers. yay

14 - osce practice w ara ren ness. bedah and anak osce coaching. had 3 of mom’s cinnamon rolls and matcha latte for the afternoon. cicil osce DV. edited some pld articles. did nothing else basically

15 - wasted my day, didnt have the courage to study osce (i feel like i procrastinate on it bcs it feels overwhelming to me), TO FKUI 2, hurriedly reviewed to 1 before, les padi. i feel like this is the least focused im being in a les. maybe its the too few matcha powder.

16 - woke up at 9 am. breakfast is muesli. reviewed to 2 fkui w apa salahku (finished at 12 pm, there goes half of my saturday). tried fried chicken master. its good and tender but i still prefer moon chicken.

17 - breakfast is muesli, banana and 2 martabak tahu. snack is keripik pisang aduuu wenak (and picking bits of meat cooked by mom). went to devi’s place w/ racheel silvi. brought RJ to be wrapped. we watched okay madam and its super fun, hilarious and full of twists anddd a bit of cutesy romance. just the right balance to enjoy and let the stress out. late lunch is moon chicken yay!! went home after maghrib, did to padi 6 w/ fi and matcha latte. talked about a senior’s wedding and eating healthier til 22:30

18 - To fkui 3, wasted my afternoon playing my phone, finally mustered some will to study after ashar. My progress is rly slow today. Watched hilarious jessi interview with eric, heechul. Im telling u, i thought tiktok is the funniest internet content but i was wronggg. Seeing heechul flustered is hilarious. Tried to study again at night but only learned 1 disease hiks

19 - had no idea what i did before dzuhur lmao. went to racheel’s to surprise atikah. actually napped at her place lmaoo why do i feel so sleepy. gifted rj to atikah. we ate fried chicken master and pempek on a small green table and talked. its like korean movie lmao. we talked while im simultaneously listening to padi lol.

20 - woke up at 8, chicken porridge + muesli and low sugar vsoy for breakfast. arrived at clara’s @10am. to fkui 4. reviewed it. reviewed general physical exam. finished up to padi 7. tried bombo donut. studied osce. i felt sooo dumb in osce (and clara is already super smart). superrr motivated to learn after going back home (arrived at 7) but i ended up opening youtube and drinking protein lmaooo and its suddenly 9 pm

21 - matcha latte at starbucks dm. Studied osce. Obgyn coaching w the super kind dr ilham. Les padi. Read angel buddy and played with my phone til 12 pm

22 - to fkui. padi as usual. had low motivation, so i did the tryout that day close to the actual course.

23 - left home at 06:30 to study together in capitol. had breakfast in mcd first. thank god i ate rice + chicken and breakfast wrap cuzzzz. studied osce together w ara, ical, kelvyn, dio and kak ilonka til about 2 pm. WALKED to bk bcs my parents are there. apparently simply driving to capitol is too much for them. immediately ate muesli at 4 pm cause i didnt eat anything in capitol. did nothing else after that. did not pray maghrib together lmao somehow mom had mercy on me and let me sleep som more. mom bought sate padang but i didnt eat it. i cried in bed because as yoongi said, “this is the real you and this is the real me”. did not shower/wash my face at night bcs i felt like shit lmao rip my face (its a week before bukang photoshoot)

24 - i feel tired, lazy, and just wanted some sleep. like all that’s in me is drained. ate muesli with strawberry milk. tried fitmee beef. its better than i thought. because the noodle is chewy you spend more time to chew. also ate fried chicken and daun singkong. usually i cant wait to go to flavola but even at 12 pm i just feel like laying down. finally mustered the will to shower and go out. its raining a bit on the way. colddd.

25 - to fkui 6, osce briefing, covid lecture (that was actually for ppds), padi

26 - spaghetti for brekkie, coaching neuro and ophthalmology, cicil osce

27 - cicil osce, the second to the last padi omg. the fastest padi ever

28 - obgyn osce practice at kak ilonka’s place (that nice kosan at forkabi) with ara, ren ness, kelvyn, dio with mannequins from og dept, tried meokja salemba that serves bulgogi rice. quite good. after arriving at home, studied neuro together with menno til about 20:45 an and i just dont have the energy lmaooo so i gave up and slept

29 - today is bukang photoshoot at bintaro. put base make up on the way. even put glue on my eyebrow. got eyebrow, eyeshadow and blush done by renata. took lots of photos. nebeng om coro afterwards to bxc to meet mom. we ate at genki sushi (renata ara kris mendel oca regan geordie eka). i missss road trips hua. did tryout fkui on the way back home. after shower and prayer proceeded to review TO with apa salahku. Last padi (havent done the questions beforehand so i sprinted it out while on the actual course). Muhasabah osce with kak widia afterwards lmao. Studied osce with clara

30 - studied osce with ara ren ness @ merra. I ate eatlah, moms muffin, kemplang, tango. I ate so welll. Its a productive sesh, neuro and infectious disease. At home i studied osce w clara til abt 22:15 ish. I feel like i miss my me time lmao its been 3 days. I can still go on w clara but i dont wanna get myself sick

31 - simul osce in the morning. Osce study with clara almira. Cicil osce alone. Played my phone at 10 pm even though i still have mental clarity post matcha latte -___-

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freeshavacado · 4 years

Text

My thoughts while reading Gone by Michael Grant:

* wait how old is Sam

* He do be liking Astrid doe

* Damn so Sam is a Leader

* Ew Orc is an 8th grader? 🤮

* Ok I googled it Sam is 14

* I like Quinn

* Sam thinks he’s so awkward but he’s actually really chill so far

* THE PAIN THIS GIRL IS GOING THROUGH OH MY GOD

* Poor Mary :(

* Howard’s a bitch

* Cut to Quinn being a racist motherfucker

* I love Edilio

* Sam is WHIPPED for Astrid

* Orc is such a piece of shiiiiiit

* LANAAAAA :(((

* Poor thing is in so much pain

* Patrick her dog is alive so that’s good

* She’s deadass slowly dying

* Thank god her arm is better

* I want to make this into a TV series

* If Sam and Astrid don’t kiss at some point I swear

* Hahahaha Sam do be shirtless rn

* Why isn’t Astrid happy to see Little Pete???

* MARY. IF YOU POUR HOT ASS COFFEE ON A CHILD, DONT JUST STAND THERE AND THEN RUN AWAY. PUT COLD WATER ON THE BURN

* Aw Mary has had bulimia since she was ten :(

* Ok so what she just took her Prozac and then threw up? Wouldn’t the pill go up too? I think your stomach/body needs like 30 minutes to absorb it into the blood stream...

* HELP SAM HES CHOKING

* Bruh my ass would be so exhausted

* Quinn low key an ass tho

* Lol edilio isn’t standing for this bullshit

* Lmaooo Astrid knew 💀

* Omg little Pete has it too

* Wow Quinn is an asshole pt 2

* I feel like Caine is gonna be a villain...like he’s pretty AND nice? Nah bro too good to be true

* Fucking Orc god 😒😒😒

* Caine is up to some shit 🤨

* Lmao hold up

* Diana probably whipped tho

* Sam please only be a simp for Astrid 😩

* I bet Drake is hot

* Aww computer Jack :) DONT YOU TURN ON ME SON

* “The captain is already maintaining” Bullshit 💀

* Are they really gonna call this eighth grader ‘Captain’?

* LMAOOO THE BASTARD CANT EVEN READ OR WRITE 💀💀💀

* Lol making Sam the fire chief because he was brave enough to go into a fire one time, so therefore he is the most qualified

* Bruh that’s like if I gave a kid the Heimlich maneuver bc he was choking on a gummy worm or some shit and they were like “Well because she did that, she should be the head doctor!!!”

* CAINE IS FULL OF SUCH BULLSHIT OML

* PRETENDING TO CRY N SHIT GOD

* I already know that Diana is gonna try and seduce Sam while she’s actually a spy for the private school kids

* Which, btw, of course it’s the private school kids smh

* I feel like maybe Computer Jack will be someone who eventually switches to the Good Side

* ALSO wow jack really be thinking that he’s smarter than Astrid smh 🙄

* Jack is such a smartsass

* Diana is such a fucking bitch oh my god 😒😒😒

* “You don’t look tough, Astrid” STFU SHES THE TOUGHEST OF THEM ALL

* Ok but I bet Diana and Astrid low key have sexual tension. Like obviously nothing’s gonna happen...but still

* Bruh I hate Caine

* Fuckin Diana with her ‘readings’ bullshit smh

* YESSSS LANA ��🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 so strong

* Literally how do they not know how to make pasta

* “I thought your people ate tortillas,” QUINN YOU RACIST PEICE OF SHIT UGH

* Poor Bette :(

* Orc is a piece of shit, I know we’ve already established this but I wanted to say it again

* I love Edilio so much

* Orc really using a slur against Edilio huh. Imma kill him

* IM SO DONE WITH QUINN. THIS BITCH REALLY JUST SAID “let him have her” LIKE TF????

* Drake is such a bastard oh my god

* If you hate Quinn and you know it clap your hands 👏🏻👏🏻

* No seriously. I fucking hate him.

* Nooooo Bette died :((

* “I can’t kiss you with your little brother watching” AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

* Did they kiss or not wtf

* What the hell is up with this cat

* Ah so they did kiss!!

* Why didn’t I get details 🤨

* No a baby died 😞

* Quinn s u c k s

* How convenient that Sam got there *right* before Emma disappeared

* Those last 6 minutes before Anna disappeared too and was calling out to her sister, and so for what she thought was her last few minutes on earth she held sams hand :(

* Lol Diana sucks

* ‘WoRDs DONT sCArE mE’ shut up Drake

* Okay Computer Jack is definitely going to betray them because they underestimate him and take him for granted

* You’re telling me Caine and Sam could be TWINS???

* Why was the kiss ‘a mistake’ ?

* Okay NOW they’re awkward

* “But it was the first time I meant it” I CANT. ITS SO CHEESY

* I HATE QUINN

* These kids are crazy violent

* Fuck Diana

* Yikes now Sam only has some of his eyebrows left 😬

* Caine is in love with Diana 👀

* Little Pete might be more powerful than Caine 😛

* THESE KIDS ARE CRAZY LIKE CHILL

* Diana: I really dislike you Astrid: of course you dislike me, I make you feel inferior

* ROASTED ^

* Mmmm Quinn is trying to redeem himself

* “Don’t call me brah. I’m not your brother” OHHHHHHHHHHH HE REALLY WENT THERE

* that’s what you get for being a backstabbing asshole

* Poor Astrid :(

* Poor Little Pete :(

* Bro I need this to be a movie

* I love that Sam just punched Quinn like we had no choice but to stan

* Ok drake would definitely shoot up a school

* Fuck Drake

* Lana is so strong. Like she’s been in so much pain physically and mentally, and she almost died. But she saved herself and now even though she thinks she might be the only person left alive on earth, she is still keeping strong.

* What happens if the boat runs out of gas?

* Bruh these coyotes don’t give up

* THE COYOTES AGAIN??

* “Go out” “You’ll kill me,” “Yes. Go out, die fast. Stay, die slow”

* Wowwwwwwwwwww^

* Lmaooo “L.P.”

* Awwww Sam: “...she was still so beautiful that sometimes he had to look away.”

* Okay he a lil’ horny

* Awe Astrid and Sam hugging I’m soft 🥺

* I’m so sick of these damn coyotes

* Bruh these coyotes 😒

* Diana is annoying

* Literally can’t remember who Andrew is, but they’re about to film his passing away like wtf

* Poor Andrew :(

* “You’re a deep sleeper, Jack. Just now, while you were sleeping? I held your pudgy little hand. Probably as close as you’ll ever get to holding hands with a girl. Assuming you even like girls.” FUCK YOU DIANA

* Okay so Diana will protect Jack as long as he ‘belongs’ to her and does what ever she wants? That’s pretty sus

* Sam and Astrid kissed again 😖☺️

* Lmaooo Albert over here running McDonald’s

* Salads disappeared quickly from the McDonald’s menu since this whole thing? Who the hell orders a salad from McDonald’s?

* So Albert kinda whipped for Mary 👀

* I haaaaatttteeee the private school kids

* Y’know what depending on where I was and who I was with in this situation, I might’ve just killed myself

* “Remember who owns you” ew 🤨

* Diana. I hate you

* Bro I feel bad for Andrew

* How is Lana back at the cabin?

* That IS Lana right??

* Okay things are moving fast between Sam and Astrid. Like she’s already saying “I just want you here with me. Safe” like 🤢

* Lana, about Sam: your boyfriend? Astrid: ThAts nOt WhAt iTs AbouT

* LMAOO AFTER SHE SAID THAT SHE SAID IN A LOW VOICE “kind of” WHAT

* Lol Lana be out here like “yeah shits crazy. Get with the program”

* Ew they’re eating pudding with their hands 🤮

* I don’t care how hungry you are, that’s gross

* Like get a spoon or something

* Lana just called Astrid “smart girl Barbie” 🤨

* Part of me is like “lol” but the other part of me is like “bruh stop Astrid did nothing wrong”

* I still hate Quinn but he is kind of funny

* Lana calling Astrid “the blonde” like girl 😑

* Bruh you’re stuck in a house that is literally on fire and getting hotter by the second as it fills with smoke, now is not the time to be kissing Astrid

* Finally the damn coyotes are gone.

* Sam is so angry and he’s disgusted with himself for being so angry, I relate

* Fuck you, Quinn

* Fuck drake

* I would gladly kill Drake

* OOOOOOOOO EDILIO LIKES LANA AHHHHHH

* SIMP

* omg I love it 😩

* Lmaooooo Sams speech wow

* Sam you should NOT forgive Quinn. Especially not that fast. Yikes.

* Orc should feel bad for killing Bette. I have no pity for him rn

* Yes please kill drake.

* I am so happy that his arm is on fire. 100% he deserves to feel that pain

* Aww that’s kinda nice that Albert is planning thanksgiving dinner for everyone

* DAMMIT DRAKE

* I hate drake so much like dude just shut up and leave everyone alone

* Orc oh my god I could not be rolling my eyes harder right now

* Tbh if Orc and his other friends die, I’m okay with that

* What tf is up with this DVD

* Little Pete caused all of this??? 😦

* I’m sooooo sick of this whole darkness and coyote stuff istg

* Where is Patrick?????

* If Patrick is dead imma throw hands

* Diana is such an evil person. Like Drake is a monster, but she’s horrible in a different way.

* Also ughhhhhhhhhh Drake is back 😒😒😒😒😒 so sick of that mf

* “So. When do we go take down Sam Temple?” 🙄🙄🙄 no one likes you Drake

* AHAHAHHSJAHSHSHHSHD

* SAM JUST TOLD ASTRID HE LOVED HER

* AND SHE SAID IT BACK

* IM. S O F T

* (like my brain is still saying “y’all have talked for less than two weeks and you’re 14”)

* But like whatever 😭❤️

* My eyes just rolled into the back of my skull once Diana appeared

* Taylor low key flirting with Sam tho 👀

* When I first met Dekka, I was all: ‘what the hecka?’

* THOSE DAMN COYOTES

* I’m crying because Quinn couldn’t kill Drake because he was scared, and now children are screaming. Ugh I really wanted him to kill Drake but I understand that killing someone is a crazy thing to have on your conscience

* Call me cold hearted, but I would’ve shot him

* This is all in theory of course ^ I bet if I was in that situation though it wouldn’t be as easy as “just shoot him”

* I don’t think I’ve ever been more annoyed with a fictional character than I am with Drake rn

* Yooo I bet Isabella has some animal powers or sumn

* Caine 🙄🙄🙄 like that emoji doesn’t even come close to describing how annoyed I am

* Wait so is Patrick back now or...?

* Caine really just. Kissed Diana. Because she “owed him”????

* THIS IS SOME BULLSHIT

* I literally hate sooooooooo many characters in this book ugh 😒😒😒

* Quinn is watching Drake kill Sam and is doing nothing. I’m so done with this piece of shit

* Ok finally he tried to shoot him

* “You know it always gets me hot when you say ‘apt analogy.’” “Why do you think I do it?”

* Y’all 🥴🥴🥴

* THOSE DAMN COYOTES

* Literally? Imagine being this heartless. Giving up hundreds of kids to coyotes without hesitation. The hate I have for Caine is real

* Once again, Orc feeling bad for what he did to Bette. And honestly? I’m still okay with that

* This kid is an a l c o h o l i c

* Computer Jack is so annoying like dude stop holding on to Sams leg. Literally

* Still hate Diana, but I like that she’s helping out Sam a little bit

* Ew Diana just kissed Sam on the corner of his mouth 🤢

* I TOLD YALL ^^^

* Yay Patrick is alive :)

* “I guess we won,” Sam said. “Yeah,” Edilio agreed. “I’ll get the backhoe. Got a lot of holes to dig.”

* ^im. Depressed

* I cannot for the life of me remember who Cookie is

* “Orc sat with Howard in a corner by themselves. Orc had fought Drake to a standstill. But no one-least of all Orc-had forgotten Bette.”

* ^good.

* Y’all Sam and Astrid flirting I- 🥴🥴

* We love to see it ^

* Awww “we’re going to the beach” y’all Astrid and Sam are so cute

* THOSE DAMN COYOTES

* FUCK. Goddamn this cliffhanger 😡

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isa-ghost · 4 years

Text

Achievements Unlocked?

The last decade has COMPLETELY shaped who I am now and the fact that it ends today and essentially sends me off into the next one where turning 30 is the end is something I can’t wrap my head around and not just bc it’s barely 9am as I’m writing it. Ten years hasn’t felt like ten years and all the shit that’s happened during those ten years feels like it’s happened in the last like,,, 3.

Basically this is just me going How The Fuck Did All Of This Happen In A Decade and highlighting the big things that shaped who I am now.

Uhhh this is long I’m gonna-

2010/2011 (Shit’s A Blur):

I started noticing aesthetic interests I had.

I developed my love for the outdoors and exploration.

I started realizing vaguely spooky things were really intriguing to me.

I got SUPER into Harry Potter.

Which lead to me creating my first two Ocs.

I started switching from drawing animals/landscapes to drawing people.

I made my first cluster of friends I hoped I’d have forever. (Spoiler alert: only still have one of em).

2012:

I started identifying with punk rock & emo culture/aesthetics.

I made my first cluster of online friends (Spoiler alert: don’t talk to any of em now)

I got into YouTubers.

I got into anime.

I made my first “blog.” It was a Facebook page for a fictional character.

I discovered my favorite band.

I made my first online friend I hoped I’d have forever (still have em so far!)

I met my future wife.

I started roleplaying with Ocs.

Which lead to making more.

I started drawing digitally using bases. Which started my improvement.

I made my own first little community via my FB page.

Which lead to an rp group of more friends I hoped I’d have forever (still got a handful of em!)

I discovered my other favorite bands.

I started using Skype.

I got into more anime.

My parents were officially fully separated.

Which began the very start of realizing my dad was verbally abusive.

Congrats Isa, You Need Glasses You Dumb Fuck. Hooray astigmatism.

I graduated 8th grade.

2013:

I was essentially forced to move in with my dad for high school.

I started high school.

Officially became total anime trash and started watching them like crazy.

I THINK I hit 100 Ocs at some point this year. Just kept makin them from here.

Met my first cluster of irl forever friends (spoiler alert: only have 1 now).

Learned having Ocs was Not Just An Isa Thing, Holy Shit I Thought I Was Just Weird.

Promptly fell in love with learning about other people’s Ocs.

Realized Wow, I Kinda Can’t Stand My Dad And I Don’t Trust Him.

Had my first boyfriend. *gag* He was nasty.

Experienced my first long distance relationship. It lasted 3 days.

2014/2015 (Shit’s Also Blurry):

Got another long distance boyfriend. First relationship I genuinely liked the person.

I realized talking multiple people through the lowest points of their lives and keeping them from harming themselves was a sign I should maybe get into psychology and do that as a job.

I started getting interested in researching mental disorders.

Realized Okay Yeah, I Lowkey Hate My Dad

Realized I had A Concerning Amount Of Symptoms Of Depression. Fuck.

Realized Huh, Girls Are Pretty Too,,,

My friend taught me about bi and pansexuality. Casually started identifying as pan. Didn’t know shit about LGBT+ stuff.

Was shown a video by my friend. Decided Wow I Really Like This Screaming Potato Guy.

Acquired one more forever friend I still have.

Got slapped in the face by Gravity Falls.

My mom moved out of the rural town I just spent the last like 8 Years Of My Own Character Development In, Dammit

I realized money and finances Fucking Sucks.

Had the,, probably worst year of my adolescence. Angry, depressed, sick of my dad. It was Not Great. Almost started self-harming, only didn’t because I’d be a hypocrite if I did after helping my friends stop doing it.

Homestuck invaded my life around here I think.

Decided I’m Gonna Live With My Online Friends One Day! (spoiler alert: nope).

Was kinda forced by my dad to move out of the apartment I lived in and therefore forced to transfer schools.

Got to meet my future wife irl for the first time. Wow that was,, so gay before we even realized.

Okay Hold On, This New School Is,,, Really Nice.

2016:

New school. New me. New friends. New everything. Fuckity shit fuck.

Okay wait they have an anime club like my other school did we good.

Met another two forever friends that I think really are forever friends now.

Angry Shitty Depression Time Died Down A Little.

Somehow learned about evilsonas. Huh, Does Jack Have One? ... Ok Cool, They’re All People’s Ocs. Meh.

Started learning how to drive. Oh My God This Is Fun.

Lost my second ever pet and was... very confused when I wasn’t as traumatized as I was the first time I lost a pet.

Boyfriend kinda Thanos snapped from existence bc his irl life was hectic.

Experienced what it’s like to have a friend that died.

Wow my irl best friend is hot. ... Okay I Think Boyfriend’s Absence Is Bothering Me. *proceeds to ignore that*

Gets into some more bands.

Knock Knock, You Have Separation Anxiety, Isa.

Finally decided to try out high school things like homecoming. Ooh That Was Actually Fun.

The beginning of the worst end to a friendship I’ve ever had starts. Not Handling It Well.

Discovered Fooster. Cue hyperfixation on new favorite YouTuber and more new friends.

Wait What The Fuck What Just Happened To Jack’s Camera,,,, OH MY GOD HE ISN’T-

HE IS. OH FUCK HE IS. MMMMHELLO KNIFE MAN.

Totally forgets he exists for the next like 10 months.

Realization I Really Fucking Love Halloween.

Discovered what asexuality is and immediately identifies because I thought I was just weird.

Hmm maybe I should start watching this Markiplier guy

Big Sad Times, My Friends Graduated. Next Year Gonna SUCK.

Tried out Dungeons & Dragons. Fuckin loved it.

2017:

Ah fuck I’m a senior in high school this is gonna be a trip.

Discovered I like photography.

Literally where did this school year go it’s so blurry.

Was convinced to end the relationship with boyfriend. He’s still a good bean.

Hey uhhhh online best friend do u big gay.

WE big gay.

Found a book I really like that isn’t Harry Potter, damn it’s about time.

Ok But This Book Really Fucked Me Up, I Love It.

OH FUCK WAIT I’M GRADUATING HIGH SCHOOL.

Oh that wasn’t so bad.

Actually had to be PUSHED by my friends to have my first kiss with my girlfriend at my graduation party because I was too busy going [dkasjdjf] about having her physically in my presence at all.

First super memorable vacation. Wow I Fucking Love Traveling.

Got to meet another online friend!! I am,, incredibly lucky about being able to do that, this was like the 4th friend I got to meet.

[That one motion blur conspiracy theorist meme] SABRINA IM TELLING U JACK IS UP TO SOMETHING HIS TWITTER IS FUCKY

Gets punched in the throat with Kill Jacksepticeye on the way home from vacation and remembers how much I fucking love Anti

TIME FOR COLLEGE. I made a mistake.

TIME FOR COMMUNITY COLLEGE. Much Better.

Friend I Still Have From High School 1/2 introduced me to Bendy and the Ink Machine. HYPERFIXATION TIME BABEY.

Let’s,,, lets try Tumblr. Jack exists there a lot. And so does good art of everything I’m interested in.

Wait Who’s This Baby With The Mustache, JACK EXPLAIN

Okay there’s More Going On Here, lets get active in the community.

WHY THE FUCK IS THERE SECURITY FOOTAGE. THIS IS SKETCH. THIS ISOH MOTHERFUCKER ITS ANTI

Isa: Become Theorist

The rest is history, really, all stuff I’ve posted about on here. xD

And knowing me I’ve left out other highlighted bits but remembering all of this is,,, really exhausting lmao, I’m surprised I jotted down as much as I did in Relatively Chronological Order.

#happy 2020 new year

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