#but anyways Beard is in a toxic relationship and needs to see that he can have an intellectually challenging dynamic w/o the abuse

[electric-rabbits]

"Oh but Tedbecca wouldn't work” “ They'd never let Roy Keeley and Jamie-” “See, but Ted and Trent-” do you know which relationship would be an actual curve ball on Ted Lasso s3? Beard and Trent. In this essay I will-

#this post is a joke but also it isn't #its coming entirely 100% from the scenes where Beard throws Trent the bottle and the one where they agree about late stage capitalism #two whole scenes thats right #and also bc when I first started watching Ted Lasso I was fully convinced that Beard was queer? idk theres something about him #but anyways Beard is in a toxic relationship and needs to see that he can have an intellectually challenging dynamic w/o the abuse #and Trent spent most of his life as a closeted gay man and is recently divorced. He needs to live a little #AND it's objectively funny. They could just mention it offhandedly on the last episode and it would make sense. #ted lasso s3

[its-time-to-write]

Omg I'm loving your response to my prompts!! thank you

I have a few ideas (You don't have to do them all) just throwing them out there to see what sparks ideas!!

I love secret admirer stories (I know its no where close to valentines day but still) maybe Reader is Rebecca's assistant and keeps getting gifts leading up to valentines day but she is pretty sure its like Sam or Isaac and tells friend Jaime (even though its really him) then the day of the grand finale and she comes to the lovely surprise of it being Jaime!

also if you could include Scarlett red roses in it for me (They are my favorite flower and the only flower I'm not allergic to)

So. I liked this one. Maybe too much? It might be the longest one I’ve written so far, so, uh, sorry about that. But I liked it a lot. It might be one of my favorite things I’ve ever written. Hope you enjoy. also the gif isn’t Jamie Tartt but it is Phil Dunster so hopefully that’s ok

honey, i’ll give you all my time

Good god, it’s February all ready. You have a love-hate relationship with the month; love, because Galentine’s Day and hate because Valentine’s Day. You and your friends would go out on February 15th to get discount chocolate from the shops, then return home for an ungodly amount of takeout and a movie. On the whole, you all preferred action movies with a good romance. 

You’re dreading Valentine’s Day because it’s when your boyfriend of two years held your hands in his, and told you he wanted to break up. 

That was a year ago. You’re mostly angry that he’s a dark stain on one of your favorite holidays. You’re absolutely determined not to let him ruin your enjoyment. 

This is also the first year you’re not with your friends. You moved away last March because you realized your ex had been holding you back in far too many ways. 

So. To recap. 

You’re alone. You love Valentine’s Day, despite it forever being the day of your breakup. Your friends aren’t here. You have new friends. There is no one to go to the shops with on the 15th. But discount chocolate is still discount chocolate. 

Your current job is as a personal assistant, something you excel at. You basically anticipate needs, meet them, and just generally make your employer’s life a whole lot easier. The application said the job required a lot of travel, but all expenses (minus some food) were covered. 

You were shocked when you got an interview, then a second, then a third, then were hired. 

Your boss is a woman named Rebecca Welton, and you’re half in love with her, but who isn’t, really?

You swear you’ve never been in such a healthy work environment. You mention it one day, early on, and she says it’s all thanks to their head coach, someone named Ted. 

You meet him for the first time later that day, and you understand. 

It’s impossible not to love him, because he has vision. He knows what he wants from his team, and he knows how to get it. 

He believes the team extends far beyond the players. 

He believes it extends to you, too. 

Ted and Coach Beard steal you from Rebecca as often as they can, claiming emergencies such as “a toxic amount of testosterone from all these boys,” “life-threatening boredom,” and last but not least, “there’s a new pun Ted absolutely needs to test right now and he won’t take no for an answer.”

(You like to give Ted honest feedback on his puns.) 

You also find yourself in their office when Rebecca is out for lunch, eating your respective sandwiches and swapping life stories. 

They remind you a lot of your parents.

It’s mid-June when you mention the Valentine’s Day story. 

It doesn’t hurt as much when it’s punctuated by Ted’s “he didn’ts” and Beard’s perfectly-timed gasps. 

You find yourself laughing halfway through, unable to stop. 

“And anyway,” you finish, cheeks painful from smiling so hard, “that’s why romantic love is a joke and I am drowning myself in platonic love forever.”

Ted and Beard share a look. “I wouldn’t be too sure about that,” Beard says. 

You shoot him a quizzical look. “What do you mean?”

“Well sweetheart,” Ted says, “between the two of us collectively,” here points between him and Beard, “we know of at least three of the boys on the team who are madly in love with you.”

“What?” you gasp, “How did you- where did you- who??”

Ted zips his lips and Beard tips a finger to him. “We know of five if we count Rebecca’s intel.”

You’re sitting cross-legged on the edge of Beard’s desk, in shock. “Rebecca knows about this??”

Ted and Beard shrug in unison. “We all have our opinions on which one should shoot their shot, but that’s neither here nor there,” Ted says. 

“Coincidentally, it’s the one thing we unanimously agree on,” Beard nods. 

You’re cut off from saying anything by the door opening. One of the players stands in the doorway. 

“Excuse me, coach,” he says, accent thick. 

Ted motions in a you have the floor type of way, and the footballer turns to address you of all people. “We’re all goin’ out tonight, and Keeley sent me to invite the new girl. None of the lads have really met you yet, just seen you ‘round. Thought it might be good for team bonding, or something. I’m Jamie, by the way.”

“Oh,” you say, taken aback. “I guess- yeah, I guess I haven’t really met them. I mean, I see you guys around and stuff and I’m at your games, but I don’t really know you. Are you sure you want me to come?”

Jamie shrugs. “Coach is always on us about bein’ a team or some shit. And, havin’ a girl around makes the lads look good.”

You think that makes sense, and then find yourself agreeing to go out that night with a group of footballers you don’t know, and (thank god) Keeley Jones. 

You’re going to figure out which five before the summer’s over. 

—

You have nice time out with the lads. They go to a bar and cram into separate booths. You’re wedged in between two who have introduced themselves as Isaac and Dani, and across from Sam, Bumbercatch, and Jan Maas. Roy, Richard, and a few others you don’t know are milling about, and you see Jamie and Keeley at a table, surrounding by giggling girls. The sight is so absurd that you catch yourself smiling and turning back to whatever conspiracy Bumbercatch is telling you about now. 

—

You put Sam at the top of your list as soon as you get home. The man wears his heart on his sleeve, or maybe in his eyes, but you’re positive that he’s one of the five Ted and Beard referred to. One down, four to go. 

— 

It’s the end of July, and you begin to become friends with the team. You know for an absolute fact who is not interested in you, Jamie being one of them. Coincidentally, he’s the one you become closest to. You think it’s because you’re not worrying about sending mixed signals or leading him on. You dropped public hints about not really looking for anything romantic, just to be sure you wouldn’t hurt anyone. 

As it is, Jan Maas and Dani have made the list. Jan Maas, because he stifled his Dutch bluntness for you and Dani, because he openly declared he was madly in love with you in front of the whole team. 

—

Isaac makes the list in December. It had been in between him and Bumbercatch, but Isaac was the one who walked you to your car every night and the first one to say hello to you every morning. 

You’re not gonna lie, it was cute. 

You shared some of this with Ted and Beard, who remained impressively stone-faced. Rebecca proved to be equally impervious.

You shared all of it with your lunch-buddy-turned-work-bestie, Jamie. 

You ate with him because Rebecca was constantly in lunch meetings these days, and Ted, Beard, and Roy were always revamping their football strategies.

Jamie would plop down at your table and say, “What’s the news, Amy Hughes?” in his perfect Mancunian accent, and then listen/add commentary to whatever you had to say. 

You explained to him that the reason you wanted to know who liked you was so that you could be extra careful with their hearts. You knew what it was like to be led on, and you did NOT want to do that to someone else. 

Jamie nodded thoughtfully at that and then said, “We’re all footballers though, ain’t we? We get the shit end of the stick all the time, hearts broke by models and whatever. Even ends up in the fucking press. Everyone here’s has their heart broken before, and we all know you aren’t doing it on purpose.”

You wrinkle your nose at him. “I’m pretty sure it’s short end of the stick, Jamie.”

And thus begins your lunch hour of bickering. 

—

No one has made a move on you yet, and you don’t have a read on number five. You still think it may be Bumbercatch, but in reality, it slips from your mind. Sam’s moved on, Jan Maas has accepted defeat, Dani swears he will love you until the day he dies, and Isaac stays, well, Isaac. Still sweet. Still walking you to your car, coming round extra early in the morning with a coffee or a water, depending on which “looked less like shit.”

Really though, you don’t think about it until February first, when you walk into your office to a small box on your desk. 

At first, you think it’s a box of Ted’s biscuits. 

Then, you notice a small, scarlet-red rose taped to the top. There’s no note, and all that’s inside is a tiny paper heart. 

It’s folded with extreme care, and you place it on your shelf, smelling the rose. It smells amazing and you make a mental note to figure out where the heck it came from. But for now, it’s time to work. 

—

You don’t mention the gifts until February third, because now there’s been one a day. Each one with a scarlet red rose, and a different gift. Yesterday was an incredibly expensive bar of chocolate (it was life-changing) and today is a tiny gold bracelet.

It’s a simple enough chain, but it is absolutely breathtaking. There is no mistaking the fact that it is not cheap, so you take it and march straight to Rebecca’s office.  

“Rebecca,” you say, hands outstretched, “look.”

She does, smiles, then says, “It appears you have a secret admirer.”

“But I don’t want that!” you cry. “I don’t even have time for that! I don’t even like anybody right now!”

She peers at you over her glasses. “Don’t you?”

The sheer weight of those words is enough to physically knock you back two steps. 

You don’t, you swear you don’t, you’re absolutely sure. 

What about Vienna? a voice in the very back of your head nags.

You reply, out loud, “We don’t talk about Vienna,” and Rebecca just shrugs. 

“Have it your way,” she replies in a tone that means this conversation is over, but you’re the one ending it.

You turn on your heel and find yourself taking the route to Ted and Beard. 

You burst into their office in such a flurry that the entire room turns to look at you. “Close the door,” you say with such urgency, that Trent hurries to comply. Beard even shuts the blinds. 

“What’s on your mind, Ollie Cline?” Ted asks. 

“Wait,” you say, holding up a hand. You point to Roy. “Do you want to be here? It involves feelings.”

“Fuck no,” says Roy, “thanks for being fucking considerate.” He follows it up with a pointed glare at Ted, then goes into his office and firmly shuts the door. 

“Can he be here?” Ted asks, tilting his head toward Trent. 

“I don’t care, he’s probably a good one to have around for this because look!” You present the three collected roses and the bracelet. 

“Someone’s started leaving me gifts, and I’m pretty sure it’s a Valentine’s thing because of the roses, and it was fine for the first two days but this is expensive, and I can’t accept this!”

Ted and Beard share a look. You hate it when they do that and leave you out. 

Ted sighs. “Listen, do you think this about Vienna?”

You fix him with a glare. “No. We are not talking about Vienna ever again.”

Trent pipes up, “What’s Vienna?” and you wheel around on him, taking your glare with you. 

“Vienna," you spit, like it’s poisonous, “is a terrible, awful place where people think terrible, awful things. I never want to talk about it again and I never will.”

Trent nods. “Noted.” 

You turn back to Ted and Beard, pleadingly. “What do I do? Tell me what to do.”

Beard gets up and puts his hand on your shoulder. “Kid, if you want my advice, take the damn roses and wear the damn bracelet. These boys make more money than they know how to spend, so just let it go. They all know how you feel about dating, so if someone’s shooting their shot, they know the stakes.”

You shake your head. “Fine. Fine. I’ll let it go.” 

—

You decide to tell Jamie on day five, because it’s a Friday and you’re dying to get his take. You tell him everything, show him the roses in your office (hanging upside down to dry), and then hand him the notebook that was in today’s box. 

“Jamie,” you say, “this is an expensive notebook. There was a typed note inside that said, ‘for your drawings.’ How did this person even know I like drawing? I never talk about it!”

Jamie looks at you and laughs a little. You’re very flustered for something most people would enjoy. “Dunno, love, but we’ve all seen the sticky notes you leave Coach. That might be it.”

You groan and flop down into your chair. 

“At least tomorrow’s the weekend,” you say.

—

Jamie’s phone dings at 9:00am on Saturday with a text from you that says, what the actual heck and a picture of a brown bag at your doorstep. Inside is a plastic box of your favorite lemon muffin from a local bakery. He emphasized the image, then waits for your response. 

It was still warm, you write. It was someone who knows where I live and knows what time I leave to get breakfast.

Jamie grins and sends you a shrugging emoji, and you respond with an eye roll and a you’re no fun.

Jamie reads that and privately disagrees. He thinks he’s lots of fun

—

You’re pretty sure it’s Isaac. After all, he’s the only likely candidate. He’s one of the few who knows where you live and knows your routine. Not in a creepy way, in a we’re-good-friends type of way. You bring this up to Jamie, after personally banning all talk of this with Ted, Beard, and Rebecca. Stupid Vienna. You should never have told them. 

Jamie shrugs for the millionth, infuriating time. He’s been noncommittal this whole time. You’re over here pouring out your heart and soul, considering whether you like Isaac romantically or not, and all he can say is, “I dunno?” 

This is not the Jamie Tartt you’ve become best friends with. 

That Jamie would be down to hunt this secret admirer with you. That Jamie would be helping you figure out if Isaac had a chance with you. That Jamie would be way more engaged than the one sitting in front of you right now. 

But, you suppose maybe that Jamie died in Vienna, so you stop bringing it up.

—

It’s day ten. Valentine’s Day is in four day, and you’re nervous. 

You’ve decided you don’t like Isaac like that, mainly because it shouldn’t take you that long to decide if you like anyone. There has to be an initial spark, and you shouldn’t try to manufacture it. 

Still, you’re not sure it is Isaac, so you’re not going to say anything about it. The scarlet red roses hang on your office wall, permeating the room with their scent. 

You feel like you’re dying. 

This is a cruel joke and you’re dying. 

The building is basically empty right now. Rebecca and Higgins have some meeting, the team is on the pitch (including Will) and various other staff are somewhere far away from you. So, you jump a little when Trent Crimm comes tripping into your office. 

“Vienna,” he says, no greeting. “If you didn’t want to talk about it, you wouldn’t have told anyone. I’m assuming you do want to talk about it, but you don’t want judgement from the people you love. I’m here to offer my services as a neutral party.”

You look at him. “Trent. You are a journalist. Your whole job is writing down people’s secrets. Why on earth would I talk to you about the worst day of my life?”

Trent shrugs. “I’m good at keeping secrets. This would be off the record. I’ve never lied to people about off the record, also. I consider it bad journalism.”

You consider this for a moment, then sigh. 

“Alright,” you concede. “At least if this gets out, I know whose head I’m shaving in retaliation.”

Trent looks at you in surprise, seeing you in a whole new, slightly threatening light.

“It happened two months ago. It was around Christmas, and I didn’t have anywhere to go…”

—

Your family all had their own separate plans that Christmas. Plans that didn’t really involve you. Same with your friends. You said something casually to Rebecca, and the next day she told you she had booked you a trip to Vienna. Call it an early Christmas present, she said. It was at the Aumaris Vienna, and it was gorgeous and ridiculously out of your budget, but she said you worked hard and gave her peace-of-mind, and you can’t really put a price on that, can you?

So you went. 

But here’s the thing. 

Someone else didn’t have Christmas plans. 

So when you brought up your trip at your daily lunch, said someone else casually asked, can I come? 

You almost choked on your sandwich. 

Because here’s the other thing.

You were, maybe, kind of, possibly just a little bit head over heels in love with this someone else.

You’re not sure when it happened, really, just that it was probably in August and that it was soul-crushing because you knew for an absolute fact that he did not, and never would, feel the same way. 

You didn’t tell anyone except Keeley, but under the condition that she just let you say it and that she never, ever give you a response to it. Just listen. 

She did, but you were pretty sure she almost combusted. 

But who are you to say no when Jamie Tartt invited himself on your luxurious Christmas vacation saying, I’ll pay extra to get a plane ticket next to you? 

You were doomed from the start. 

To make matters totally and impossibly worse, he couldn’t find another room. 

He had his tickets, but the hotels, he said, were packed. 

It was Christmas, after all. 

So that’s how you ended up in a luxury hotel with Jamie Tartt for a week and a half, one day of which was Christmas. 

You know the, “there was only one bed” trope that everyone thinks is so cute?

It was that, but only if you add deep, shattering heartbreak to it. 

Because every night, you had to listen to Jamie say, “goodnight, love,” and then get into that giant, soft bed as far away from him as you could manage. 

Every morning you woke up to the pillow barricade long gone, one of his arms thrown around you. Or one of your legs on top of his. Or a million different scenarios where you end up literally asleep together, some weird gravity pulling you to each other. 

You were falling so hard and so fast, that you felt like the air was knocked from your lungs when Jamie started talking about the girl he liked. 

“She’s just so fucking beautiful,” he’d say, staring at an Alpine mountain. Or, “Swear she’s the smartest fucking person I’ve ever met,” while traipsing through the city. Or, “Pretty sure she’s ruined me for everyone else,” while getting facials at the hotel spa. 

To be fair, you were the one who teased him into admitting he liked someone. 

You just didn’t expect it to hurt so much. 

The entire trip felt like heaven and hell had simultaneously converged on you, and you never wanted to leave but also desperately counted the days till it was over. 

You came back and broke down in Rebecca’s office. Ted and Beard were there. The whole thing came spilling out, about how you loved the trip so much it felt like your heart would explode but that Jamie loved someone else. 

They all exchanged looks amongst themselves and did their best to comfort you. 

You pulled yourself together and they promised never to say anything to anyone. 

—

“So that’s Vienna,” you finish. 

Trent is just staring at you, mouth slightly agape. 

He finally says, “My god, that’s fucked,” with such emotion that you decide right then and there that you like Trent Crimm and his rainbow mug. 

Now, you just shrug. “I did it to myself, honestly. That’s why I’m tripping out about this secret admirer thing. And god, Trent, the roses. They’re so beautiful and it’s so romantic, and whoever it is obviously knows me well so there’s a part of me that wants to like this person, but…” you trail off. 

“But there’s a part of you that’s hoping against hope that Jamie’s behind it all,” Trent finishes. 

You let out a little laugh. “Yeah, that about sums it up.”

Trent looks at the roses, then at you. “Maybe you should talk to Jamie,” he says, gently. 

You reply with a forceful, “No,” and then follow up with a small, “That’s what Ted and Rebecca say, too.” 

Trent stands up, shrugs, says with a small smile, “Just a thought,” then he’s out the way he came. 

—

It is Valentine’s Day. And it’s a Sunday, which means you are legally required to stay in bed until 10, at which point you will get out only to make yourself decent enough to go buy a good cup of coffee and maybe (definitely) something to eat. 

You’ve just finished putting on your shoes, when there’s a knock at the door. 

You take a breath, and get ready to let down your secret admirer as gently as possible. 

You swing open the door to reveal- 

“Jamie! What are you doing here?”

Jamie Tartt is on your doorstep, hands behind his back, looking shyer than the day you first met. 

He opens his mouth and says the last thing you’d ever expect:

“D’you remember Vienna?”

Your heart, which had already been going fast because his dumb floppy hair was all dumb and floppy in his stupid, cute headband, is now working double time. You manage a nod. 

Jamie takes this as permission to continue. “D’you remember how I couldn’t get another room, no matter how hard I tried? That wasn’t true. I could’ve.” He pauses, and you wait for him to continue. 

“And d’you remember when we met, when I told you Keeley told me to invite you out? That was a lie too.”

You tilt your head, confused. He keeps going. 

“Look- I fucked it. I fucked it a million times and I told Ted and I told Beard, but they kept helping me un-fuck it and giving me chances, and then Rebecca bought two tickets to Vienna and slipped me the other one, and they all told me I had a perfect shot.” 

You’re still not understanding what he’s saying. He might as well be speaking another language. Jamie sees the confusion in your eyes, takes a breath, and tries again. 

“Keeley told me to invite you out, but only because I’d seen you around and thought you were fit. Then Isaac and all the lads thought the same thing, so I didn’t even get to fuckin’ sit with you. And then you started sayin’ things about not bein’ ready for a relationship, so I tried to let it go. I really fucking tried. But I just couldn’t. Your eyes are too sparkly and your laugh is too fucking cute and I couldn’t let it go, so I started eating lunch with you and you fucking let me. I knew the moment I said anything about liking you, it was over.”

Comprehension has started to dawn, but you push down hope until Jamie’s done speaking. 

“Everyone told me to shoot my shot in Vienna. We shared a bed, for fuck’s sake.” Here, Jamie looks bewildered. “But I dunno, I didn’t want to make shit weird. So when you asked if I liked anyone I said yeah, and started fuckin describing you, but you never fucking picked up on it. That’s when I got the idea to try one more time. All by meself, no help from anyone else. So…yeah.”

Jamie Tartt is standing on your porch confessing his love for you on Valentine’s Day and it is not a dream, because if it were your teeth would be falling out and his hair would probably be neon pink. 

“I’m an idiot,” you breathe. “You like me? Like, like-like me?”

Jamie quirks a smile at that. “Not quite, darling. Pretty fucking sure I love you.” He pulls his hand from behind his back to reveal a bunch of scarlet red roses. The same from each gift. 

“Got these for you,” he says. “D’you know how hard it is to get red roses in February?”

You don’t answer him because you’re leaping into his arms, kissing him like you’ve thought about doing every day for what feels like forever. He’s kissing you back, hand with the flowers pressed against your back, other hand in your hair. 

“I love you too, Jamie,” you whisper against his mouth. He smiles and pulls you in again. 

#jamie tartt x reader #jamie tartt fanfiction #jamie tartt imagine #jamie tartt x y/n #jamie tartt x you #jamie tartt #ted lasso

[stargirlstudio]

Satisfied [Part 1]

☆ Dmitri Antonov x fem!Reader

☆ Warnings: age gap (15 years apart), depiction of toxic relationship (not dmitri x reader), marital intimidation, bullying, self esteem issues

☆ Word Count: 2104

☆ Summary: When you greet the new neighbor in your quiet cul-de-sac in Hawkins, you meet someone you thought you wouldn’t see again. Tense and strained relations with both of your spouses lead to some unexpected circumstances as you navigate who you are.

☆ A/N: The long awaited fic inspired by many films specifically In the Mood for Love with hints of Lost in Translation. Enjoy :) Also I like to think that Dmitri would call Jim by his full name to annoy him sometimes haha

Also big shoutout to the anon(s)? That have been giving me ideas for the plot!! I want to give them credit for how this fic will navigate and hopefully I will do them justice! 💛

July 23rd, 1980

Your mother shuffled you over in front of the wall, you held your bouquet of flowers — yellow carnations and lilies. Looking on at the mass of guests, most of them being your husband’s family and friends. You could count the few who were on your side. Everything was so unfamiliar, the dress felt too finicky, you don’t remember choosing the wedding colors, you hated your bouquet, but you faked a smile anyways.

Hearing your husband's laughter pierced your ears. The way he was so nonchalant about everything. He was so quick to wife you up, the courting, the dates, the little escapades but you were finally his fiancée all of that was quickly dropped. You looked over at him, his coiffed brown hair, his crooked smile, and how inviting he was, you couldn’t help but feel like you’ve been lied to. That this “husband act” was nothing but him putting on a facade. Now that you’re officially married, you were definitely secured and he doesn’t need to put in any effort. You watched as your mother scuffled over, fixing your hair and reprimanding you for looking unkempt. “You always look like a mess,” She said. “You have to start taking care of yourself,” You clenched your jaw. “Unless you want him out with another woman,” Your father called over your husband, he locked eyes with you seemingly concerned with whatever is going on. He rushed over, kissing you at your temple.

“You okay?” He asked. You nodded and he smiled. “Well what’s going on? You’re not teasing my wife are you?” He asked your mother. She laughed.

“Just giving her some sound advice. Was just telling her that she needs to take care of herself or you’ll go out and find another woman!”

He gave you a look over, “Well I just might by the end of the night!” He joked. Your family all laughed at his but you could feel tears welling up in your eyes. A fake sneeze was able to cover your disposition, but nothing could cover the sting in your heart. You looked at him, charming every family member and they didn’t even look at you, not once, and your big day.

“Alright alright alright, can we get a couple's photo? Let’s give them some space for a couple’s photo. I need to capture the lovely newlyweds,” Everyone slowly moved out of the way and he grabbed your waist. Following the photographer’s instructions, we moved through the series of poses. You zoned out and looked at all of his family members watching. They zeroed in on you, you watched as they made faces and whispered to each other. “Hellooooo, earth to bride, let's look at the camera,” The photographer said. “Give us a smile like it’s the happiest day of your life!” You strained a smile. Flash!

October 11th, 1987

Rough kisses littered your neck, pulling you from your sleep. Your eyes opened, a dark room barely illuminated by the dusk. His facial hair tickled you, at first you thought it was a mustache but he came closer and you could feel the rough beard. You turned over, your husband Richard kissing all of your face. His wet hair drips all over your pillow. “Heading to work now babe,” He said, giving you one final kiss.

You yawned, “The neighbors are moving in today,”

“Well you’ll be around so tell them I said hi,” He got up, brushing his shirt of any lint and fixed his tie as he headed out the door with his briefcase nestled under his arm. The loud shut of the door shook the walls and you covered yourself with the blanket, hoping to fall asleep again.

Six hours later, you awoke to the birds chirping outside your humble home. The streets were quiet, it was gray and wet, typical of the weather. The pretty autumn leaves were all but crushed muddied colors. You looked around, your husband left a mess as he usually does. Socks were strewn on the floor, pajamas weren’t anywhere near the hamper, and the light in the bedroom’s bathroom was left on. For six whole hours, probably longer. You sighed and picked up the clothes, turned off the lights and made your way into the kitchen.

Your typical day was waking up, cleaning the bedroom, making breakfast, organizing the bathroom (clean if needed), laundry, maybe some groceries, saying hi to your neighbors who didn’t say hi back. Richard told you that the suburbs were calm but if this was calm then you hated it. “You’ll like the house,” He said. “We can’t live somewhere too busy, remember last time?”

Your last house was right outside the now burned down and demolished Starcourt Mall. It was close to everything, grocery chains, clothes, something to keep you busy. Now it’s just this – calm. You didn’t know if you hated it, but you couldn’t complain. As you cleaned the house, you let the answering machine drown out the birds. Calls from work for Richard mostly, some saleswoman asking if you want to buy a sewing machine, a call from mom, and a call from your younger sister.

“Hey, please call me back sometime. I’m free around 5 pm before dinner. Would love to catch up!” Your mom’s voice played from the scratchy answering machine. A beep. Shuffling can be heard from the back, it was definitely your sister.

“Hey, just letting you know I reserved a ticket for you for my graduation. I’m graduating… December…fuck wait. Shit I forgot my own graduation. Okay okay December 15th! Call me back if you’re planning on coming, if not i’ll give it to Rhett’s mom,”

You continued folding clothes, letting the silence fill your house again, continuing with your daily routine.

—-

Dmitri carried the small box to his small house on Doyle Street, 2nd house from the main road in a quiet cul-de-sac. Settling in America…in Indiana of all places was never in his plans. It pissed off his wife even more, as she ignored the movers and Dmitri, already talking on the phone with her friends back home.

“This place is a shithole,” She spoke in their native language. “Can’t believe it. So disappointing,” She said, glancing over at Dmitri. He huffed and walked back out, looking at the quiet street. That young American woman talked about living in a quiet cul-de-sac. I wonder where she is? He looked at the neighbor’s mailbox, faintly making out “Waters” — must be a last name.

At dinner, Dmitri picked up the newspaper looking at the various advertisements.

Flowery Years — voted #1 florist in Roane County. Maggie’s — trendy boutique for all ages. Tony’s Lawn Service — Voted #1 Lawn Mowing and Bug Extermination for 4 Years in a row!

“Honey, did you pick up a job?” Dmitri asked. “You know the policeman? James? The American who saved my life? He gave me a job at a mining company, and said it pays well,”

“Oh a laborer's job, how typical,” She said. Dmitri sighed.

“It’s only temporary. I’ll try to find ones that are more suited to my skills but this is fine for now. So did you find one?”

Galina looked at him. “I did, it’s out of the county. It’s a secretarial job,” She said. “You’re more familiar with the residents, it’s good that you’re closer to…our new home,”

Dmitri silently agreed, looking around at his new home. It was going to take a while, but at least he was safe for now. As night time rolled around he felt it was too safe. His part of the neighborhood was too quiet, except for the animals he could hear outside his window. The occasional car driving him from a late shift. He almost liked the comfort of the car lights changing the shapes of the shadows because he was so used to the hustle and bustle of working in an environment like that. Now living out some American dream in suburbia.

——

October 12th, 1987

Dmitri kissed his wife before she entered her car. A man from the Waters household came out and flagged them down. “Hey! My name is Richard — you can call me Dick. Welcome to the neighborhood!” He said. “Did my wife meet you?”

His name is Dick Waters?

“No she didn’t,” Galina replied.

He placed his hand on his hips, “What a shame,” He paused. “She must have taken a nap or something. I’m sure she’ll greet you guys soon. Where are you from?”

“Russia,” Dmitri replied curtly.

“That’s soooo awesome. Love me a vodka tonic,” Richard said as he playfully punched Dmitri. He nervously chuckled and waved as his neighbor hurried to his car with his large briefcase in tow. He waved Galina goodbye before heading inside. This place is a shithole.

——

You made cookies and prepped dinner the next day. The cookies were for the new neighbors and you made sure dinner was easy to prepare, not wanting a repeat of yesterday’s events.

You were so tired you dozed off and you forgot to make dinner. “Hey babe, think you can make a hot meal tomorrow? I’m just going to eat the leftovers,”

“Yeah yeah, sorry I was just tired,”

“It’s fine,” He said curtly. He always did this thing, his back hunched over like a wall.

You quickly got up from the couch and frantically hustled around the kitchen to make something. “I can make something, it'll take a while,” He said nothing as he picked at the cold leftovers from yesterday. You made work with the pasta and the sauce heating up in the pan. You kept looking back at him as he sulked about with his food. He took off his tie and threw it on the ground. “It’s almost done. I really would appreciate it if you didn’t throw a fit. This is just a one time thing,”

“No, like it literally isn’t,” He said back. “You’ve been doing this a lot babe and I don’t appreciate it. I leave work early in the morning - I mean what exactly are you doing?”

“Nothing! I’m practically at home! It’s almost done just wait,” You said as you glanced at the tie, another piece of clothing you’ll have to pick up. “This doesn’t happen a lot, one time thing!”

“Yeah right,” He mocked. You plated the dish as he ate in silence, ignoring you entirely. You made your way around, picking up his tie and putting it where he belonged. The loud clang of the utensils filled the hallway as you laid down in your new sleepwear waiting for that familiar dip in the bed. You closed your eyes pretending to sleep as he got ready for bed, slamming the drawers, and making a mess. He peppered kisses on your cheeks. “Babe you awake, I missed you,” He said. “You’re not mad at me are you?”

“No,” You lied.

“I missed you…”

“Not now,” He huffed and turned the lights off.

All of the cookies looked so cute in its tupperware. It looked like it was another childless couple like you and your husband, but you made extra just to be safe. You looked at yourself in the mirror, smoothing out any wrinkles with your finger, making sure a hair wasn’t out of place, and every fine line on your shirt wasn’t noticeable. As you headed out the door, the cul de sac was empty per usual. The neighbor across the street waved at you as you headed over. The house looked empty but there was a car in the driveway. Looks like Chief Hopper’s old car. Or is it just Jim, these days?

You rang the doorbell, stepping back when you realized you were too close. The door opened and a face you didn’t think you would ever see again met your gaze.

“Hello stranger,” He said.

“Dmitri?! What are you doing here? I didn’t think you would be here,”

“Well, plans change. Do you live next door?” He asked. He still looked the same, it was unbelievable. Just as he did the day he was out of the prison.

You nervously held your head, “Yeah I do! Uh, right there near the stop signs. House 22,”

He nodded. “I think I met your husband? Dick, right?”

You sunk your head in embarrassment, “He’s trying really hard to fit in at the office so he’s been using Dick right now. Someone said he looks like Robin from Batman or something. It’s not sticking,”

Dmitri laughed, “I don’t know, I think it’s…definitely…unique,” He said. “Would you like to come in?”

You looked around, making sure no one was outside. “Sure!”

Dmitri Tag List: @druigswh0ree @h3k3t @milfodyssey @lucilexe @wolfstcr @mvnsonslvt @redridinnghood @kenthoe @redshrike @quixscentsposts @padawansubscription

#stranger things #dmitri antonov #dmitri antonov x reader #enzo stranger things #fanfic #fanfiction #st #stranger things season 4 #st4 #x reader series #x reader fluff #enzo x reader #fic: satisfied

[campgender]

ROY KENT? toxic masculinity-roy fuckin kent? oh hell nah, sorry in advance, this is gonna be long, you just jinxed yourself mentioning that. ;_; whoever said that did NOT watch enough of that boy because his masculinity is beautiful and there's genuinely nothing toxic about it at all. like, we did not watch him suck all his bitchiness up to have a relationship with his girl just for him to get called toxic. not to mention...

FIRST on my list of his display's of butchness: this is Roy "I gave my girlfriend head while she watched a video of me crying my head off" fuckin Kent! Y'all are not gonna pin him for toxic masculinity, c'mon. If that ain't the most butch-ass shit I've ever heard of...

SECOND: I'd put a lot more weight into the suggestion of toxic masculinity if he'd stayed the way he'd been at the beginning of the show but this is a man who grew a fuck-ton even in just the first couple episodes, not to mention throughout the show (which I haven't finished).

He's not a bully, which is surprising for such a hyper-masculine character. Hair as far as the eye can see, with a beard, furry thighs and arms, a low growly voice-But for all his swearing and other foul language, he isn't a bully. He doesn't pretend, he says no, and he sets clear boundaries, but even with children who he has loads of power over, he's very careful to never cross the line into bullying. He jokes, clearly knowing the children, barking orders and playing ball. He has a niece and even though he doesn't understand the book wrinkle in time, he reads it to her and only after getting three quarters through does he go to ted to demand what the fuck its supposed to be about.

THIRD: the way sometimes he looses speech and yet he STILL. FUCKING. COMMUNICATES. beautiful. Which rolls straight into FOUR, which is the way he communicates! He's very clear, very blunt, obviously. But its not just that. Its how as we get to know Roy Kent, more and more, we see how when he gets overwhelmed or annoyed, he often steps back from the situation so that he doesn't blow his temper at someone he likes or someone who doesn't deserve it...which is very, dare I say it? chivalrous! Its not a word you think when you think of roy kent, but he is! He's chivalrous! He isn't quite comfortable around rebecca, think of early season 2, but when he sees she needs it, he tells her she deserves the goddamn world in a partner, not just "fine", and he didn't tell her that because he had to! Keeley would've left it and he could've gotten away with a minimal answer. He told her because she deserved to hear it and he knew that and he's a fucking kind person!

just like that time at the end of season 1 when he and keeley were photographed by that man and he stole the photos and then handed them to keeley and gave the man back his camera. he could've smashed the fuckin camera. he's exactly the type of person to smash the camera! but he didn't. why? because they cost a shit-ton of money and because he wanted keeley to have photos of their first date. ;_; its called CHIVALRY. which. is. BUTCH. AS. FUCK. need i go on?

roy kent's masculinity is beautiful, it's a joy to behold, it's butch as hell, thank you, i hope you don't mind me dropping an essay in your askbox, sorry abt that.

OH SHIT YOU HAVEN’T FINISHED IT. you haven’t seen what they did to my bestie in the finale 😭😭 how they MALIGNED his NAME — if you do watch it come hmu though bc holy shit am i still livid.

anyway. yes to all of this!!!!! especially how he communicates while also losing speech <3333 i get so fucking upset every time someone calls him repressed bc like. he literally isn’t!!! he’s very aware of & in touch with his emotions!!!!!!!!!! what he is is stoic & it’s bc 1) he’s autistic 2) y’all are assholes. like. i feel like fucking crying every time i think about the scene in s1 when he’s just been benched: keeley’s excited but kind of impatient “oh, so you are ready to talk about real stuff now!!” and the way it makes it seem like a bad thing for him to need some time to process. & then her really sarcastic & dismissive response when he says how scared he is of losing what the entire fucking country has made his sole identity:

I think men that feel sorry for themselves are so sexy. And if you start telling me how hard it is that you play a game for a living, I think I might come.

i see fucking red!!!!!!! the show multiple times (including in the finale) belittles his feelings and/or throws away his characterization and then treats that like a #Feminist moment. & like in the previous example, yeah keeley prompts phoebe to say how she sees roy & that’s a sweet moment, but keeley never actually apologizes or says how she sees or thinks of roy outside of sex.

& then in s3 honestly his apology letter to her made me feel ill. like there’s a difference between owning your shit — which i do think she deserved an apology for him breaking up with her out of nowhere — and saying everything is your fault. that’s not growth, that’s still self-hatred. and like i understand keeley was going through a lot but i don’t think it was fair to him for him to confess his love & her fuck him while like. presumably knowing she doesn’t want to get back together.

i’m also so fucking livid about the show comparing roy and FUCKING RUPERT????? in that scene, again for some sort of shallow #GirlBoss moment. fuck that fuck the writers fuck like most of the fan attitudes i’ve seen.

also the way the “roy is sorry for not understanding keeley” scene is played — yeah, he should’ve communicated better, but she just started yelling at him out of nowhere & revealed she’d been complaining about him being clingy to all their colleagues. and she never apologizes for not talking to him sooner & her bottling her feelings until she exploded at him???? instead he apologizes for doing….. something she’d never told him she had a problem with.

i’m working on a fic about this aspect but the show has no fucking sympathy for his becoming disabled and it’s so transparent. obviously ted lasso in general is really bad at acknowledging systemic issues — “just be a goodfish!!” :))) — it’s a liberal show & you should overcome adversity by individual work ie therapy & forgiving your oppressors. but like there’s literally no acknowledgment after that scene when he gets shut down by keeley in s1 of how ableism affects roy’s self-image.

as a disabled person whose mobility impairment started with a knee issue in sports, i also think the show did a fucking shit job with his disability in general. like they played it for a laugh — you might not have watched 3x11 yet so feel free to skip this paragraph but “i played injured all the time / you can’t go up stairs!!” followed by jamie still playing injured to, what, make a point about forgiveness?? shows how fucking seriously they took that, and roy was walking up stairs earlier in that very episode.

similarly, “everybody run to the bus… except roy!” earlier in s3 was an emotional moment for me bc like oh they’re acknowledging how this affects his life!! …..and then they showed him running (on pavement!!!) with jamie all the fucking time. like sure not every knee issue is the same as mine, okay, whatever, but either be consistent or throw in a line about him having a good day today or something. jesus fucking christ it’s so ableist & careless & disrespectful.

anyway my hot take is that as they’re written, keeley & roy shouldn’t be together not because, as brenden fucking hunt put it, “he has work he needs to do on himself first,” but because she doesn’t respect him & fundamentally you can’t make compromises with people who think how you are is wrong.

i do really like keeley especially in s1, i think a lot of this is fuck-ups on the writers’ parts that keeley were she a real person either wouldn’t have done or would’ve apologized for. but as it’s written? fucking yikes.

anyway that got really off track from your thoughts lol but i absolutely adored reading this, it was a delight & i would love to hear more any time 💓💓💓

#asks #roy kent #ted lasso tv

[elandx]

Struggles Of A Young Man

It's currently 11:53 Friday March 29th as I am typing this. I know this won't be seen or talked about because I have no followers and I'm not using any tags. I just turned 17 a month ago and when I turned I thought I was going to transform into this new person and develop a whole new mindset. But that hasn't happened. I currently struggle with 2 addictions I won't name out of embarrassment from my digital footprint but i will say most boys struggle with both if they've been exposed to it. I've tried to kick both of them with no success and it's crushing my soul. No matter where I run I still find myself falling. Every article, video, life coach, etc I've found touching on the subject helped. I know its a mindset and I've tried my best to stay with it but I fear I'm not strong enough to overcome my demons. I lean on my religion and ask God to remove the want and give me the resistance to the temptation but weather it's a week or a month I always find myself indulging in the toxicity of my addictions. I know I going down the wrong path every time I do, but the feeling is just too strong for me. Now granted my addictions don't affect my day to day and I'm fully functioning, but when I look in the mirror I can't stand what I see. I'm well over 200 pounds (probably in the 215 range), I have no good looking features on me, and my beard doesn't connect. I set a plan for myself this year to fix all that but its just not easy trying to do it alone. I don't feel like I have anyone in my corner to lean on about this and it kills me but I know I'm gonna have to do somethings alone to achieve my goals. But that's where my problem lies, all these life coaches and wellness pages on social give you a list of things to do physically but never mentally. I lack discipline and can't really hold myself accountable for anything. It's a terrible trait I acquired from my dad and he's everything I don't want to be. But I tell myself that and I still sit on my ass all day eat chicken nuggets, make music, and play madden with no real thought of the damage i'm doing to myself. Socially, I'm not pulling the girls I want nor am I pulling the ones everybody can pull. I try to justify it with "I'm not looking for a relationship." or "who needs bitches anyway?" but in the long haul it's definitely an issue because I want a wife and kids. Emotionally it causes me to shit on myself a lot and the obvious answer is to fix the issue by starting to work out but I always feel like I'm embarrassing myself. I'm so fucking caught up with all this worldly shit that it's causing me to kill myself slowly and I'm sick of it. As we roll into a new month I plan on saying fuck it and start doing what i say i'm gonna do. My brain is the only thing that's stopping me and I know when I stop listening to it my body can do some amazing things. So I'm writing this as my first step into recovery from my addictions and my own self. I call on myself to do the right thing and get the outside help I need to achieve my goals. I ask God to guide me through this next chapter of my life and lead me to the ultimate triumph I pray for. I ask that he release me of all my demons and give me the wisdom to make sound decisions and not fall victim to the devil's worldly traps. I ask that he blesses me and leads me to a better place in life. I trust him with all my heart and I know he hears me. I ready for him and I truly believe I am at the cusp of something.

It's in his name I pray these words.

-Amen

[harryspet]

off to the races (2) s.rogers

[Warnings] dark!steve rogers x reader, stripper!reader, ddlg, daddy!steve, abduction/kidnapping, mafia boss steve, bondage, a hint of peter x reader, toxic/abusive relationship, hella angst, little editing 

A/N: im mentally shutting down because of school but at least i have mob!steve :)

In which you don’t want to be Daddy’s secret anymore.

word count: 3.5k

main masterlist

taglist: @cherienymphe @peterztinglez @lovelynerdytraveler @buckysbunny @hollandsdream @micki-smiles @buckybarnesplumwhore @arts-ismything @saharzek @lovemassivelybeautifulbouquet @what-is-your-wish @brattypeony @hermayone @buckysugar @mischiefmanaged011 @visintaes​  @disaster-rose​​ @sexyxseabassx​ @marvelmaree​

“Woah, dude, your room is awesome. Awe, you have all the good movies. I haven’t seen The Jungle Book in forever!” 

“Peter, look!” You waved him over to the window, ignoring his astonishment for the paradise Steve had created for you. Peter stood there dumbly for a moment before walking over to the window beside your bed. 

You heard the loud whirring of helicopter spinning blades echoing through the room even with the window closed. It was landing in the field behind the manor and you were questioning why Steve was making such a grand entrance today. You’d been stuck in this house for three weeks now and nothing this exciting had happened yet, “Who’s helicopter is that?” You looked back at Peter who’d crossed his arm nervously. 

“Uhm … probably … maybe-” You scoffed, before looking back at the view. The helicopter was a sleek, black color and, as you narrowed, your eyes could make out some words written in gold. 

“Stuh …. Stark …. Industries. Stark Industries,” You were calm as you took in the info before the realization hit you, “Stark Industries! Is Tony Stark here? Holy …. pancakes.”

Peter smiled, seemingly amused by your excitement, “Pancakes?”

“Steve doesn’t like it when I-” You stopped yourself from explaining, realizing there was a bigger situation at hand, “We have to go check things out. Get a closer look!”

“No way,” Peter shook his head, “I’m here to make sure you stay in this room.”

You rolled your eyes, “So Tony Stark must be here then, right?”

“I can neither confirm nor deny that,” Peter pressed his lips together like he was struggling to hold in all the secrets he knew. 

“How the hell does Steve know Tony Stark? Stark is dirty too? I should’ve known … flipping rich people.”

“Flipping?”

You took a step toward him and despite the fact you were wearing a pair of fairy wings, he still seemed intimidated by you, “What do you want, huh? A raise?”

“Uhm … I don’t think you can do that … can you?”

“Of course I can. Steve is wrapped around my finger.”

Peter cocked an eyebrow, “But he’s Steve Rogers …”

“Look around this room for goodness sake! He does anything I want. If I tell him all about how you’re a great worker, how you’re a good friend to me, he’ll surely be appreciative. Might even give you a promotion and maybe you won't have to play babysitter anymore.”

He considers it just for a moment, “If he does anything you want then why are you locked in this house?”

“Fine, fine, so I don’t have complete control but I have some. I could be helpful to you in the future!” 

“Y/N, if something went wrong he’d probably chop me up into little pieces and send them to my Aunt. Or he’d chop up my aunt and make me watch … depends on the kinda mood he’s in.”

You stared back at him, trying not to let the look on your face falter, “ … I’ll give you my movie collection?” 

“I’m sorry but-”

“It’s my birthday soon?”

“I can’t,” Peter stated, sighing, “I’ve got pressure on me right now, and things have to go right tonight. It’s like a huge deal. I never get to go to stuff and the party is-” He stopped his rambling when he realized he’d said too much. 

“Party?” Peter opened his mouth and closed it again. He turned away from you, eyes wide, and made his way to the door. Of course, you chased after him, placing yourself between him and the door, “What party?”

“Please move,” Peter begged, “I really can’t talk about it.”

“I won’t say anything, I promise!” You were the one begging now, “He doesn’t tell me anything at all. Can you imagine how I’m feeling? I’ll do everything you say, I won’t try anything, I just want to know what's going on …. please?”

“Steve can’t know,” You nodded eagerly and he finally gave in, probably because of your spectacular puppy dog eyes, “Tony Stark is having a party tonight, that’s where Steve’s going, and most of us are going to. A pretty important deal is happening.”

“Why doesn’t Steve want me to go?” You frowned a bit.

“I don’t think he wants anybody to know about you, to keep you safe, that kind of thing.”

“Right,” You nodded, “Even if I go crazy while he does that.”

Peter looked sympathetic, “I’m sorry.”

“I know this thing with me and Steve is not ordinary but is it crazy of me to not want to be a secret? Even after everything …”

You could tell Peter wasn’t expecting a deep question nor did he expect you’d confide in him, “I don’t think so,” Peter was trying to understand, you could see it in his eyes. He rubbed the back of his neck as if he wasn’t sure, “Obviously … you - uhm - care about him. I wouldn’t want to be the secret of someone I care about.”

He was taken aback when you suddenly hugged him. Unsure if he could hug you back, he awkwardly patted your shoulder which made you giggle, “Can I paint your nails?”

“What? No.”

“I have colors that aren’t girly.” “Hmm … can you do cool stuff like the shapes and sparkles?”

“Of course,” You smiled, “Step into my salon.”

+

“I didn’t get my sticker this week,” You bounced back from your toes to your heels, watching Steve as he got ready in his closet. He was fixing his tie in the mirror, making sure it was absolutely perfect, along with the rest of the look. Freshly trimmed beard and an aftershave that smells intoxicating. He smelt like money and looked like it too. That’s probably exactly how you would want to look in front of Tony Stark. 

“You skipped dinner two days in a row, doll.”

You were frowning but it wasn’t like he was focused on you anyways, “But I did better after that,” You whined.

“I know, baby, you can try again next week.”

“Maybe if you were here then I wouldn’t have missed it,” You whispered, playing with your fingernails, “But I’m stuck here and you get to go out and have your fun.”

“Have my fun?” He questioned, buttoning up his jacket. 

“You get home so late … I’m sure you go to your clubs, booze it up and talk to girls.”

He chuckled a bit, “You think I’m flirting with other women?”

“I don’t think, I know,” You leaned against the doorway, “You’re a guy, aren’t you? That’s what you do.”

He finally turned to you, and you felt your breath hitch in your throat. He was as handsome as ever, like a movie star, “Doll, my days are long because I’m traveling from here to the city every day. I want to fall asleep and wake up with you. There isn’t and never will be anyone who I’d rather do that with.” 

As he came closer, you knew he was going to lift you into his arms. Ever since he took you from the club and you sobbed into his shoulders, you’d find solace in his arms. Even if his hands were causing your hurting, they still felt warm and loving, “You don’t mean that,” You whispered, muffled against his shoulder. 

“What can I do to prove it to you?”

“Take me with you,” You said and you felt him stiffen. 

“It’s not safe,” He tried to explain. 

“Are you embarrassed by me?” 

“No, no,” He rushed out, carrying you out of the closet and into the bedroom. “Why would you even ask that?”

“Because of what I do, what I used to do-”

“No, Y/N. I’ve never felt that way,” His tone was more concerned that it ever had been before, “Look at me, please?”

Begrudgingly, you lifted your head. You hated that you were feeling jealous or inadequate, “You took care of yourself all these years and I know you still can,” He continued, “Let me protect you now.”

“I’m not a baby.”

Steve could sense the small bit of pride still left in you and decided not to push you on it anymore, “Could’ve fooled me,” Steve smiled slightly, bouncing you in his arms, “Let me tuck you in, grumpy.”

“The sun just set!” 

“It wasn’t actually a request,” He was already carrying you away. 

“Wait, wait, wait,” You resisted, “Can I sleep in here? I’ll go to sleep right away, I promise.”Steve stopped, thinking it over for a moment, “I like that the … sheets smell like you, Daddy,” You added, knowing that was what he wanted to hear. It wasn’t fully a lie but you had other motives for not wanting to go back to your room. For one, your room locked from the outside and his didn’t. Besides that, you were almost sure that one of your stuffed bears had a camera inside its eye. 

Steve tucked you into his california king-sized bed that night and watched you fall asleep until it was time for him to go. You felt the kiss he pressed to your forehead and, for a brief moment, you thought about changing your plans. 

That feeling didn’t last long. 

+

For such an expensive car, you thought your ride would be a lot smoother and much more comfortable. Turns out, hiding in any trunk, no matter how luxurious, behind big boxes of unknown items, was not a pleasant experience. An hour into the drive, you finally decided that you’d had enough and you needed to get the feeling back into your limbs. Besides that, you needed to check and make sure that your hair and makeup stayed in place. 

When you climbed over the seat from the trunk to the backseat, the car instantly swerved before the driver corrected its path, “Y/N, holy shit!” Peter shouted, obviously frightened out of his mind but you were focused on making sure all the layers of your dress made it safely back into their places, “What the fuck? What the actual fuck?”

“Oh, calm down,” You said, looking at him through the rearview, “Just keep driving.”

“Are you out of your mind? If Steve sees you he’s going flip his shit!” 

“Peter, you okay in there, kid?” You heard Bucky’s staticky voice over Peter’s radio. The younger man picked it up and answered, his eyes still focused on you. 

You placed a finger over your lips and Peter gave you a death stare, “Yeah, I’m fine … I thought I saw a squirrel.”

A caravan of three cars surrounded Steve’s car as they all drove down this dark, winding road that you assumed would lead to Tony Stark’s mansion, “Did you not comprehend a single word I said?” Peter shouted, “Do you want me to get killed?”

“This is my problem,” You said, “Steve will know that you had nothing to do with it, I promise. But tonight is going to go super well so it won’t even matter. Steve is going to see me and realize he’s crazy not to show me off and then we’re going to go to the party and I’m going to charm everyone with my personality which is going to make him a ton of friends and even more money. Everyone wins.”

Peter was shaking his head the entire time as he listened to your rambling,  “Y/N, I understand that you want to be more to Steve and you don’t want to be in the dark but this isn’t the way! This isn’t some charity event or some art gala, these are dangerous people.”

“But Tony Stark-”

“Is as dirty as it gets,” Your heart began to race a bit, “And Steve cannot just let everyone know his biggest weakness, even if they are his allies.”

His biggest weakness. 

Suddenly, your mind was racing with thoughts of moments with Steve. Meeting him, going on your first dates, the hotel meetings, and the passionate kisses that always left you feeling like he felt more about you than he admitted. You never saw yourself as his weakness. 

I want to fall asleep and wake up next to you. 

When you snapped out of your trance, Peter had his walkie-talkie pressed to his chin, “Guys, uhm, we have a stowaway,” You slumped back in your seat, and when the car eventually came to a stop, you wished you were still tucked away in Steve’s bed. You think Peter was calling your name, probably apologizing and telling you how he had to follow orders but, honestly, you had tuned him out, “I-I don’t know …. I thought I checked everything …”

Your dress was adorable too, covered in pastels, while still remaining elegant. You imagined Steve's heart with flutter at the sight of you, instead, he was fuming. He was always so stoic, so full of composure, that the change frightened you. He grabbed you roughly by your upper arm, pulling you from the backseat, and slamming the door shut. Pressed against the car, you looked into those blue-green eyes that were anything except nice. 

“I didn’t mean to for all this,” Was all you could muster up the courage to say, “I just wanted to come with you-”

He shushed you before you got your words out, “We’ll talk about it later.”

You wished he would just yell at you now. He could bend you over right now and you’d prefer that over his silence and the obvious disappointment in his tone, “Later? But-” He pulled you away from the car and you stumbled in your heels as he pulled you along the dark road. 

He brought you towards the last car in the caravan and Sam stepped out from behind it, closing the trunk, before handing something shiny to Steve, “What are you doing?” You asked shakily, the cold wind of the night blowing your dress. 

“Turn around, face the car,” He ordered you and you feared whatever punishment you were about to receive would be worse if you disobeyed him. Slowly, you turned around and he wasted no time grabbing your wrist. You heard the metal click of handcuffs as they tightened around your wrist. You felt his strong hands on your waist and, as he lifted your dress, you assumed the worst. Your panties slipped down and as Steve lowered himself with them. 

“Steve, please talk to me?”

To your surprise, as you stepped out of your underwear, you felt the click of metal around your ankles. When he stood back up, he grabbed your arm again, pulling you back so you were pressed against his chest, “Daddy will deal with you later,” His breath against your ear sent shivers down your spine, “Don’t worry, doll … open your mouth.”

“If you just let me explain-”

You weren’t sure why you even wanted to. He left your brain scrambled and wondering why you even did the things that you did. 

“I won’t ask you again.”

Your lips parted and you realized he was forcing your panties into your mouth. The next thing that you knew, you were lying in the back seat of that car, your wrist hogtied to your ankles. And you thought sitting in the trunk would be uncomfortable. You were struggling and calling out for him and, as you expected, you were ignored. 

“Get her back as fast as you can. I’ll keep things short with Stark,” Were the last words you heard before the door shut close and all your screaming was muffled. 

+

You weren’t sure at which point you’d fallen asleep. As you laid there tied up, you thought a lot about him since there was nothing else to think about. You weren’t sure how he could love you and be so cruel at the same time.  

That next morning, you awoke to sore limbs and makeup staining your pillow. Even though the car ride back was hell, you knew your punishment wasn’t over. You debated even getting out of bed, knowing what was to come. 

You finally mustered the energy to clean yourself up, washing your face, and brushing your teeth. When you stepped back into your room, you were taken aback by what was sitting in the middle of your room. A giant, life-size brown bear was happily perched before your bed, holding balloons and a Tiffany’s gift bag. 

It was exactly the opposite of what you were expecting today. You approached it cautiously, decided to sit and open up the present. You handled the bag carefully, finding an elegant white card sitting inside. 

For my favorite girl on her birthday.

Love, Daddy. 

You sighed, knowing he probably picked all of this out before you betrayed him and probably ruined any sort of trust he had between you. You hadn’t even realized it was your birthday which was probably due to the fact that you had no phone or any contact with the outside world. There was also a jewelry box inside, a gorgeous, rose-gold tennis bracelet inside. 

As you snapped it around your wrist, covering your bruises, you promised not to ask how much it cost. It would probably make you feel even worse about yesterday. 

You finished getting dressed, deciding to head downstairs for breakfast. You found Steve sitting at a table out by the pool, reading through a newspaper like a grandpa. It seemed like he was expecting you because there were pancakes and eggs waiting on the table, “Morning,” You greeted awkwardly. 

“Good morning, doll. Happy Birthday,” He responded, his eyes still focused on the newspaper. 

“Thanks,” Taking a seat in front of him, you instantly moved to grab the syrup, but the rings on his finger caught your attention. Below, you could see his knuckles were red and purple, bruised like he’d been punching something … or someone. “Your hands …” 

He folded his newspaper, taking a look at them himself. It didn’t seem to faze him as he folded them on his stomach, leaning back in his chair, “Your wrist,” He changed the subject and you wondered if he was amused by the fear in your eyes, “Do you like my gift?”

“Yeah, it’s beautiful, I love it … thank you,” Your mind was elsewhere, “What happened to your hands? Is that from last night?”

“Last night is a blur. I was so angry after your little stunt, I had to have a few drinks to even get through the rest of the night.”

“Really?” You tried to hold in your scoff, “You seem very chipper today.”

“Only because I get to see your beautiful face,” He countered, smirking. 

Your eyes narrowed at him, “What did you do?”

“That’s a broad question-”

“Did you hurt him?”

“Him?” Steve raised an eyebrow, “You mean Peter? I thought about it … I’m still thinking about it actually. If he was smarter, yesterday would have never happened but you must’ve been pretty convincing. Poor kid, he probably thought you liked him.”

“None of it was his fault! I-I was just being stupid, I was using him and he was just trying to be a good guy. Steve, please.”

“If I did, you would probably start to actually listen. You’d never try one of those crazy stunts ever again-”

“I will listen! No more stunts, I’ll be an angel from now on,” You stood up from your chair, moving around the table, “I know you’re just trying to protect me. Peter tried to tell me that and I should’ve listened.” You grabbed a hold of his hand, squeezing it tightly. 

“That’s all I want,” He added sincerely and you nodded. 

“I’ll pinky promise,” With your other hand, you held out your pinky. You thought Peter would be your way out but, here you were, begging to stay in order to keep him alive. Your pinkies wrapped around each other and you climbed into his lap. You kissed the sides of his mouth before kissing his lips. 

“Soon, we’ll take a trip together, I know you’re itching to get away.” 

“Thank you, thank you, thank you,” You kissed his lips again, “Your hands … what actually happened?”

“Punching bag,” He easily explained although you were expecting a tale of horror. Holding his hand, you brought his fist to your lips, kissing them gently, “That probably wouldn’t have happened a year ago … I think you make me more gentle.”

“That’s a lot of pressure, don’t you think? Turning a beast into a prince.”

“For some reason, I have faith in you.”

+

“Peter!” You perked up as soon as he entered the living room, not realizing how grateful to see that he was still in one piece. Sam, Bucky, and Steve seemed to exchange confused glances from their places on the couch. 

Peter seemed baffled as well, “Am I in trouble or something?”

“No, we’re about to watch Coco. Wanna join?”

“There’s popcorn,” Sam added, stuffing his face.

“And cookies,” Bucky chimed in. 

Peter smiled, unsure, as he looked to Steve for permission, “Join us, son.”

“Awesome,” Peter clapped, making his way over to the couch, “This one always makes me cry.”

“Y/N, I thought you said this one wasn’t sad,” Bucky eyed you. You shrugged, snuggling yourself further into Steve’s side. You tried to hide a mischievous smile and act like you weren’t hoping to see three grown men tear up from a Disney movie. 

“Okay, press play,” You tapped Steve’s chest and he raised the remote. 

“Wait,” Steve paused, “Are all three of your nails painted?”

+

i’m thinking maybe i’ll make a christmas themed part 3, we shall see :)

#dark fic #dark!steve #dark!steve rogers #Steve Rogers #mob!steve #mob!stucky x reader #steve rogers au #steve rogers smut #dark steve x reader #peter parker x reader #mafia!bucky #sam wilson #bucky barnes #peter parker #black!reader #steve rogers x black!reader #captain america x reader

[kojinnie]

Quitting You | Zeke Yeager

Pairing: Zeke Yeager/Jaeger x Reader (gender neutral)

Summary: After yet another big fight, Zeke catches you smoking.

Word Count: 1K+

Warning & Tags: Implication of abusive relationship, toxic relationship, angst, smoking, Zeke is basically a complete asshole | SFW

A/N: Based on the request from an anon. Thanks for requesting! (More A/N at the end of the fic)

.::My Masterlist::.

[ON-GOING REQUEST EVENT]: Kojinnie's 200 Followers Celebration - 24/7 Writing Event

The shatters of the glass scattered all over the marble floor; they gleamed underneath the dim lights reflected by the fireplace. Soft and delicate but unforgiving as they pierce against your skin; you were staring at how they glimmered, as if they were the most interesting things in the world.

Maybe that was how you coped – by fabricating fascination towards the stupidest things around you – be it the puddles on the pavement, the crack on the walls, or whatever that could take your mind off of the consequences of altercation. Slowly, you could feel the overwhelming rage subsided, your breath came to heal from its previously erratic rhythm.

You fetched the broom and stood over the shatters. Looking at yet another token from yet another fight with Zeke. At times, it had gotten so common that you no longer flinched nor surprised whenever his big, strong hand strikes against his own belonging - just to make a point in every argument. As long as not my body he hurts, you thought. A pathetic justification that had gotten stale.

What was this all about, again? You wondered, could not even place the reason for such mess to begin with. Maybe it was the way Reiner talked to you at the party, too intent, too handsy to Zeke’s taste. Or maybe it was actually the endless congratulatory praises you received for your achievements tonight that had made Zeke felt overshadowed by his own lover. Ever so fragile, that ego.

You started to sweep the shatters, but each pull felt so heavy and you realized that the trembling in your hands remained. You closed your eyes, desperately seeking refuge from the abyss of fear and the feeling of helplessness that Zeke had caused. As nausea loomed inside your gut, you ran out to the apartment patio and you inhaled the fresh air as much as you could.

But when the tremble persisted, you couldn’t take it any longer. You scrambled back inside to ransack the credenza to find the old tin box you had kept hidden for so long. You immediately brought it back outside and took out the slender roll as you leaned your back to the wooden chair.

With your trembling hands you lit your cigarette and inhaled as deeply as you can. The fire burned the tobacco to ashes quickly. As the toxin invaded the airway, you let out a deep, troubled puff. In the hazy vicinity of the white smoke, you sobbed soundlessly letting the streaks of black mascara ran down your face, without realizing that the cause for your tears was now standing underneath the doorframe, staring at you.

Zeke looked awful. His trousers were stained with wine drops, he had discarded his shirt and was only wrapped by the black bathrobe untied, displaying his defined abs and bare chest. All the colors were rid from his face and his beard was damp. In desperate attempt to atone for his rage and come back to his sense, he had washed his face. It looked genuine at first but after years of doing the same thing, you had come to realize that the habit was not an honest attempt to straighten himself out, it was all performative.

“Is that your vice now?” his deep, raspy voice was no longer startling for you. You just dragged your gaze towards him, displaying to Zeke the mess that he had created on your face. Your eyes were swollen, your make-up was smudged all over your face. It was no longer your shame; you wore it with pride like a battle scar. And also, because you knew how much he hated to see what his rage had caused, you knew it pained him inside and it pleased you.

You nodded, puffing out another wisp of smoke, but this time, at his direction.

There was no longer trace of anger on the tall, muscular man. What remained was only the shell of the menace that he was some moments ago. Both of you were tired of fighting already.

He sat next to you and took the cigarette from your fingers for his own. His chest heaved as he inhaled the toxin deep, “Urgh,” he groaned condescendingly, “Menthol.”

Yet despite his pretentious disapproval he took another taste, “Starting again?” Like a payback, he blew the smoke at your face, compelling you to close your eyes and look away.

“Why? Feeling sad?” He asked again, this time the mocking jeer was too palpable. You rolled your eyes, and tried to grabbed your cigarette back from his finger, but he was quick to move his hand away, “You don’t smoke in my house.”

“You smoke yourself,” you said, with the following word muttered under your breath, “fucker.”

“I make the rules, baby,” he grinned, a very sickening one as he stroked another inhale until it burned the cigarette to the butt-end, “tastes like shit.” Then stubbing out the cigarette on the wooden chair.

“You’re too pretty for this darn thing, anyway,” Zeke said, as he carried on his theatrical assholery by grabbing the tin can, and made a disapproving gesture upon seeing the menthol rolls, before he threw the contents over to the patio railing and down to the public roads below.

“You’re littering. What an asshole.” There was a vivid look of disgust on your face. Maybe you hated Zeke with all of your heart, maybe you longed to the day where this man finally paid the price of being the biggest cunt you have ever met, but maybe the reason why you haven’t left all along was because being with Zeke was an intoxication you would always cave in for. He was the replacement to your cigarettes and you couldn’t quit him.

“Where’s your cigarette? I need them.” You got up from your seat and headed inside for his clove cigarettes, the ones he had bought at trade auction. Imported straight from Southeast Asia, he rolled them himself. Pretentious twat, you cursed him.

But Zeke was quick to dismiss your attitude, even before you passed the doorframe, he pulled your arms and cornered you against the glass railing, the only thing that separate you from the absolute death below. He pinned your body against his bare chest as he smiled, a repugnant one that you had grown to loathe and long for at the same time, “No smoking for you, okay?” He wiped the leftover tears and the streak of smudgy mascara on your face when the skin suddenly stung underneath his thumbs. You whimpered.

Like an animal, he licked his thumb and wiped clean the black goo on the spot where it hurt on your face. He finally saw a cut wound. Not too deep to leave a scar, but visible enough to remind him of his own rage. The glass that Zeke broken had pierced through your cheek, “Does it hurt?” There was a genuine worry in his question.

You nodded, and Zeke sighed. He caressed your messy cheek with the knuckles of his finger, soft and delicate, a stark contrast to what he was just moments ago. “Don’t smoke, okay?” He kissed the wound he caused. It stung with the warmth of his lips but it did not hurt, “Anyway, the plan was for you to watch me die, not the opposite. So, don’t start again, alright? They’re bad.”

You hummed. The insanity of being with Zeke finally caught up with you.

“As bad as being with you,” you said, softened underneath his touch, “two things I wish I could quit.

A/N: Dear anon, I have a feeling that this was not what you had in mind when requesting, but I couldn’t help it~ This is the gist that I got from listening to Cigarette Duet hahaha 😭 I hope you’ll enjoy it nonetheless! 

#zeke jaeger x reader #zeke yeager x reader #zeke x reader #zeke drabble #aot zeke #snk zeke #attack on titan zeke #shingeki no kyojin zeke #zeke angst #attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #aot #snk #requested

[exlibrisfangirl]

Derek vs. Chris, Derek OR Chris, Derek + Chris (let's just get the whole thing out of the way all at once)

Who would win a fight: Okay, see, that's a tough one, because they actually DO fight on the show, multiple times... and neither of them ever wins. 😂

They're both very smart, and they're both very good fighters (Chris with his various weapons, and Derek with his claws and superhuman strength), and I have no idea which of them would win a physical fight.

It's even difficult to determine who would win a snark fight, lol. (They're definitely evenly matched in that regard.)

Who I like better: Anna, you KNOW it's Chris. The answer to that question is ALWAYS going to be Chris.

Christopher "Welcome to the Gun Show" Argent. My beloved Silver Bullet. My poor, precious President of the Sad Dads Club. His redemption arc remains one of the best I've ever seen on television... and you know how I love a good redemption arc!

Look, I could wax eloquent about my husband for DAYS, but what I love most about him is his willingness to walk away from everything he holds dear - his upbringing, his family and their legacy, his beliefs, his code, his profession - once he comes to terms with how toxic and wrong it all is, in order to better himself and fight for what he knows is right and just and good.

That being said, I do like Derek for a lot of the same reasons I like Chris, and they are narrative parallels in a number of ways, which is one of the reasons why I love their relationship arc so much...

At his core, Chris has always been about protecting, and, not only does he learn to let go of a lifetime of protecting the wrong people and ideals, but, when he does so, he also discovers that he has gained a whole new family who will fight for him, too, and the fact that he finally gets the family he deserves when he decides to turn his back on the family that almost destroyed him? Ugh, it just resonates with me SO deeply. Chris Argent loses SO MUCH... but instead of letting it break him, he learns to bend, and instead of letting it harden his heart, he learns to embrace his softness, and the universe rewards him for it... and it's all just SO WONDERFUL, ANNA. *cue ugly crying*

...and that takes us to...

How I ship them: As if YOU, of all people, even need to ask this? 😆

Well, I started off only shipping them platonically (BROTP), but we both know that things... er... got a wee bit out of hand, lol.

Platonic or otherwise, I just love how they change each other for the better, how they learn to see each other - and each others' "kind" - in a new light through their interactions, how they learn to trust each other, work together, and protect each other. Derek saves Chris's life. Chris saves Derek's life. They go from Derek "I don't trust anyone" Hale and Christopher "Why would I care about anyone related to Derek?" Argent to Derek "I trust you enough to take you into my family vault alone at night and reveal to you that I am losing my powers and ask for your help" Hale and Christopher "I believe in Derek Hale" Argent over the span of six seasons, and EVERY TIME I THINK ABOUT HOW FAR THEY'VE COME AND HOW MUCH THEY'VE GROWN AND HOW MUCH THEY CARE ABOUT EACH OTHER, I WANT TO CRY, IT'S JUST ALL SO BEAUTIFUL. 😭

Anyway.

WELCOME ABOARD THE GOOD SHIP DERGENT. I WILL BE YOUR CAPTAIN THIS EVENING. *evil Grinch grin* INSTEAD OF LIFEJACKETS, WE HAVE LEATHER JACKETS. AS YOU CAN SEE, OUR FIGUREHEAD IS A BIG BLACK WOLF, OUR FLAG IS A GIANT SILVER FLEUR-DE-LIS, AND OUR SLOGAN IS "BEARDS, SASS, AND REALLY GREAT ASS". NO, YOU CANNOT GET OFF THE RIDE, YOU LIVE HERE NOW, LOL. IF ANYONE NEEDS ME, I'LL BE IN THE BRIG FOR COMMITTING NUMEROUS HORNY THOT THOUGHT CRIMES.

Give me two characters in my inbox

#angel in a big blue box #answered ask #tumblr friends #the derek to my chris #brotp: pass the rump roast please #and the meme goes on #fictional characters #chris argent #derek hale #brotp: you saved my life #y'know what... screw it #i'm changing their tag #otp: you saved my life #IT'S OFFICIAL #dergent #teen wolf #shipping

[heauxplesslydevoted]

Deja Vu (Ethan x MC)

Summary: While on their honeymoon, Ethan and Naomi come face to face with a blast from his past.

Warnings: None

Word Count: 3k+

A/N: Wow, how has it been almost 4 months since I’ve written for Ethan?? Insanity.

~v~

The Waldorf Astoria all the way in Amsterdam is the last place she ever thought she’d see Ethan Ramsey again. A five star hotel on a different continent should be an escape, but here he is, at the front desk talking to the receptionist without a care in the world.

It’s been 15 years, and not much has changed for him. Older obviously, his hair is graying along the temples, a few wrinkles settling in around his eyes, and he has a beard, a full beard. He looks...good. She’ll even admit to saying he looks great. Terribly so.

What are the odds that they’d both end up in the same place at the same time like this? After all this time passing by? She almost wants to say it’s fate trying to tell her something.

So she takes the plunge and greets him. “Ethan? Ethan Ramsey?”

The sound of his name being called grabs his attention, and he turns around. His eyes widen in shock, and she can see just how blue they are.

Ethan almost feels like he’s looking at a ghost. He hasn’t seen Victoria Sharpe since he was in medical school, not since he saw her with Tobias. And it’s been years since he’s given the moment so much as a passing thought. And now she’s here, in the flesh.

Her dark auburn hair is much shorter than he remembers. When they were younger, it flowed down to her waist, and now it doesn’t even pass her shoulders. She’s wearing glasses, the thick frames hiding her wide green eyes and most of her face, a face that had him entranced back in his twenties.

“Victoria Sharpe.”

Victoria smiles brightly and steps forward to hug Ethan, but his body goes rigid and he takes a step back as if her touch could burn him. She almost goes in for a handshake, but Ethan’s hands stay rooted at his side and he gives her a curt nod instead. She receives the message loud and clear that he doesn’t want to touch her.

“It’s been so long since I’ve seen you!” Victoria says brightly. “How have you been? Last I heard, you were in Boston, right? Under the tutelage of Dr. Naveen Banerji, working on his special diagnostics team.”

“Yeah, I’m still at Edenbrook, er-Bloom Edenbrook, as it goes by these days. I started my residency there and never looked back. But Banerji doesn’t practice anymore, he’s now the chief of the hospital.”

“I spent my residency in Houston, and then I landed in San Francisco, where I’ve been for the past 7 years.”

It’s not information that Ethan was fishing for, nor does he truly care. Not wanting to be terribly rude, Ethan hums, acknowledging the fact that he heard her speak. He doesn’t want to be trapped in an awkward small talk situation with this woman, especially when he has nothing to say.

Victoria frowns. Ethan was always a tough nut to crack, even when they were dating, but there’s an uncomfortable distance between the two of them now, and she doesn’t know how to navigate it.

“Are you in Amsterdam for the AMA conference as well?” Victoria asks. Surely this is the best way to get him to talk: their shared love of medicine. “There’s supposed to be a meeting on hematology hosted by Dr. Arthur Saunders, and  I remember how much you admired him back in our John Hopkins days.”

Ethan’s eyebrow raises in question. He didn’t even know there was supposed to be a conference in Amsterdam. He shakes his head. “No, I’m not here for any conference, I’m here with–”

“Okay, the concierge just gave me the rundown on all of the cool places we have to hit up while we’re here! There’s so many restaurants I want to try.”

Victoria watches as a woman excitedly wraps an arm around Ethan’s waist and hugs him close to her. Whatever cold front he was putting on a mere seconds ago dissipates as he smiles warmly, and drops a kiss onto her forehead.

“We’re only here for a week, darling, please pick the restaurants wisely.”

“Apparently, we have to go to some place called Foodhallen. It’s a one stop-shop for all sorts of goodies.”

“That sounds fun,” Ethan murmurs. “How about we go tonight?”

“I was thinking we should order room service tonight,” Ethan doesn’t miss the way her eyes twinkle as she speaks, “so we don’t have to leave the bedroom.”

“Mhmm, I like that line of thinking.”

It becomes apparent that Ethan has forgotten all about her, his attention now solely on the woman clinging to his side. Victoria clears her throat in an attempt to regain some of the attention. When the couple breaks apart, Victoria looks to Ethan, wondering if he’ll introduce her.

When he makes no effort to do so, the woman at his side thrusts her hand out. “Hi, I’m Naomi.”

Victoria grabs her hand, giving it a firm shake. “Victoria.”

She’s gorgeous, Victoria notices it instantly. Her huge brown eyes are deep and expressive, her long curly hair going past her shoulders. Even with bags under her eyes, the younger woman is a stunner.

“Naomi, this is Dr. Victoria Sharpe. We went to medical school together. Dr. Sharpe, this is my wife, Dr. Naomi Valentine.”

Victoria bristles at the introduction. Given their history, reducing her to any old classmate just seems wrong. They were together for almost two years, for goodness sake. They were attached at the hip, and while the relationship didn’t end well, there’s no need to trivialize who she was to him. But she doesn’t dwell on it for long, because she’s more interested in Naomi’s moniker. Out of all the things Naomi could’ve been introduced as, Ethan’s wife was not what Victoria expected to hear. He got married? But Ethan Ramsey isn’t the marrying type. “Your wife?”

The word sends a pleasant shiver up Ethan’s spine and he smiles warmly. Sure, it’s been a week since they exchanged vows and the newness hasn’t worn off yet, but Ethan still can’t believe it. Naomi is his wife, and he’s obsessed with saying it.

“Yes,” Ethan nods. “That’s what I was saying, we’re not here for a conference, we’re actually here for our honeymoon.”

Victoria’s stomach rolls upon hearing that, but she plasters on a smile, nonetheless. Her cheeks hurt and her shiny white teeth are probably blinding them, but Victoria powers through. “Congratulations!”

“Thank you.” Ethan turns to Naomi, Victoria’s presence already fading from his mind. “While you were off making friends with the concierge, I got us checked into our room. Someone already took up our luggage for us. Are you ready?”

“Am I ready to dive onto a pile of down feathers and pass out for the next few hours? Absolutely.”

Ethan takes her hand, interlocking their fingers. “Then let’s go.”

He barely spares Victoria another glance before turning on his heel and walking away, but Naomi, always more gracious and poised than him, gives Victoria a warm parting smile. “It’s always nice to meet a fellow Hopkins alum. Enjoy your stay, Dr. Sharpe!”

“Thank you,” Victoria replies, even though she’s almost positive they didn’t hear. Ethan is whispering something into Naomi’s ear, and she’s giggling as they walk off.

It takes the newlyweds a few minutes to make it to their room—an 1,100 square-foot suite, because Ethan wasn’t going to subject his bride to anything less than the best—and true to her word, Naomi’s first line of business and falling face first onto their bed. It’s covered in red roses which all splay wildly around her, as she gives them no attention.

“I’m exhausted,” she says, the 10 hour flight getting the best of her. Ethan chuckles and grabs her foot, helping her out of her shoes. They fall onto the soft rug with a thud. “Why didn’t we pick somewhere closer for our honeymoon, like New York? The Hamptons would’ve been lovely this time of the year.”

“You said you wanted to add another stamp to your passport.”

“Well stop listening to me,” Naomi grumbles.

Ethan leans over his new wife and kisses the back of her head. “Famous last words, Valentine.”

Naomi rolls over in order to look Ethan in the eye. “So, the woman we met downstairs. That was the Victoria, right? The one you and Tobias were both after?”

Ethan’s eyes close and his head drops at the question. He knows whatever comes next won’t be all that enjoyable.”

He nods anyway. “That was Victoria, the one I thought I was in a relationship with until Tobias threw his hat in the ring. Then we did the back and forth thing for almost 6 months, before she chose to be with him.”

“I’m sorry,” Naomi replies, a small frown playing on her lips. Sure it was a long time ago, but she hates hearing about anything that has caused Ethan pain.

Ge shrugs. He’s long let go of his anger over that situation and the subsequent fallout. “It’s whatever.”

“No, it’s not whatever,” Naomi argues. “She messed with you, and broke your heart.”

“I survived,” Ethan says. “I haven’t thought about that woman since I mentioned her in passing nearly three years ago, on Leland Bloom’s yacht. She didn’t ruin me for future relationships, I didn’t carry a torch for her, there’s no leftover baggage, no need for closure, nothing. If anything, I look back on that time of my like in annoyance. Annoyed at how I lost years of friendship with Tobias over a woman that neither of us ended up with, and annoyed with myself that I let her hold so much power over me.” 

24 year old Ethan was head over heels for Victoria. He would’ve done any and everything for her. And like a siren leading him to certain death, she wielded that power over him—and Tobias—whenever she saw fit. It took him a long time to realize just how toxic and dysfunctional the love triangle really was, and it’s not something he’s particularly keen on rehashing.

“It’s hard to imagine you letting someone hold power over you.”

“You’ve had power over me since the beginning, Valentine. Mind, body, and soul. But the difference is I yield to you, with no hesitation.”

Naomi smiles. He doesn’t talk much, but when he does, he never fails to take her breath away. “Well lucky for you, I intend on using my superpowers for good.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah.” Naomi grabs a handful of her husband’s shirt and pulls him towards her, though it doesn’t take much effort and he comes willingly. Warmth floods his chest, and just like that, all thoughts of Victoria Sharpe are banished from Ethan’s mind, as all he can focus on is Naomi, the smell of her jasmine perfume filling his nostrils and her lips against his.

“Are you sure you’re okay after seeing her?” Naomi asks after breaking the kiss, her hand gently raking through his beard.

“It was a surprise,” Ethan admits. His gaze slides over Naomi’s sparkling engagement ring. “But I’m in Amsterdam with the love of my life, celebrating my honeymoon, and she is nothing more than a memory. You have my full, undivided attention, now and forevermore.”

“Good. You know what we should d-do?” Her breath hitches as Ethan resumes kissing her, the juncture between her neck and shoulder his new target. His tongue slides over the warm skin, her pulse pounding erratically, and Naomi is sure she’s lost the ability to breathe.

“What?”

“Order a bottle of champagne and break in that super huge shower in the en-suite.”

Ethan is off of her in a flash, his hands never leaving her as he sweeps a giggling Naomi off of the bed and into his arms. “I knew I married you for a reason. You have excellent ideas.”

~v~

The next morning, Victoria spots Naomi in the hotel’s restaurant, sipping on a cup of coffee, reading a magazine. It’s a huge five star hotel, part of Victoria hoped she didn’t have to run into the newly minted Missus Ethan Ramsey for the rest of their duration here.

But the other part of Victoria couldn’t stop her morbid curiosity. Who the hell is Naomi Valentine? And what makes her so special?

She spent the night researching the younger woman. Naomi has private social media accounts, but that didn’t stop her from getting information that is public record. Her profile on the Bloom Edenbrook website says she’s from Washington D.C. and got her BS and MD both from John Hopkins. She found news articles and videos detailing an attempted murder that happened at the hospital a few years ago, involving Naomi, the former senator of Massachusetts, and a few other hospital staff. She poured over research articles written by Naomi and Ethan detailing septic shock, an ailment that nearly killed Dr. Naveen Banerji a few years ago.

Unable to stop herself, Victoria marches over to the table currently occupied by her fellow doctor. Sensing her presence, Naomi looks up, shock flitting across her features. Realizing she must look wild, Naomi smiles at her. “Good morning, Dr. Sharpe.”

“Victoria.”

“Good morning, Victoria.”

“Do you mind if I sit?” Victoria asks, gesturing to the empty seat at the table. Wordlessly, Naomi nods her head. “Thank you.”

Why on earth am I here? Victoria thinks to herself. In what universe is the acceptable or appropriate conduct?

“You’re up early,” Victoria says.

“I was too excited to sleep, despite the jet lag.”

Naomi doesn’t say anything further because there’s no need to. She was perfectly content by herself. If Victoria wants to say something, she’s going to have to open her mouth and do so, because Naomi feels no compelling reason to initiate small talk.

The silence stretches for a long time, with Victoria unable to start the conversation. As the painstaking time stretches on, the urge to get up and run away gets stronger and stronger.

Her eyes settle on Naomi’s engagement ring, an incredibly large princess cut diamond and a simple platinum band on top of it, and she’s reminded of why she’s here in the first place. She’s sitting in front of Ethan Ramsey’s wife.

“I’m sorry, this is just...surreal,” Victoria says.

“What?”

“The Ethan I know doesn’t agree with marriage, so to know that he’s on his honeymoon is weird.”

“I love him, he loves me. He said he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me, simple as that. The Ethan I know and the Ethan you knew are vastly different,” Naomi says, making the deliberate distinction. He’s changed a lot in the past 3 years, let alone the past 15.”

“I just can’t imagine it. Back in school, Ethan’s steadfastness was so intense, it was almost like he had tunnel vision. There was absolutely no room for him to see a grey area or compromise.”

Naomi chuckles humorlessly. It’s good to know that part of Ethan has endured. “He’s still like that sometimes. A lot of times. But I argue him down, and it’s been like that since the day we met. I don’t think he was used to it, but I force him to think outside the box. He grounds me when its time to color inside the lines again.”

“Good for you.”

They fall into silence again, though this stretch is a bit more comfortable than the last. 

Naomi takes a sip of coffee before clearing her throat. “Can I ask you something?”

“Ask away.”

“How did things end between you and Ethan?”

“Oh, I’m sure he’s given you all of the gritty details.”

“He hasn’t, actually. I only know the bare minimum.”

Victoria’s face flushes, cheeks turning pink as she thinks back on her relationships with both Ethan and Tobias. “Ethan asked me out during our second year of medical school. He and I...we were good, when we were good. Dating him was fun, he had a confidence about him that choked a room, he was great in bed,” and now it’s Naomi’s turn to flush, and she tilts her head slightly, not knowing how to respond to that. Is she supposed to say something snarky? Laugh and agree? “I’m sorry, that was so inappropriate of me.”

“Apology accepted.”

“While what we had was fun, I was convinced that it was meant to be a fling, something that was going to fizzle out eventually. He never said it aloud, but I know Ethan was in much deeper than I, but we were at a standstill. Then Tobias told me he was interested. I should’ve shut him. And I should’ve told Ethan that our relationship had run its course, but I didn’t. They were at the top of their class, poised to be two of the greatest doctors of our generation, they were extremely gorgeous, and they wanted me.”

Victoria sighs heavily. “I was fully aware of what I was doing, but I didn’t care. You can’t imagine the power trip I was on. I had them wrapped around my pinky finger, if I said jump, they were already 5 feet in the air. I was a young woman in my 20s, I was having more fun than I knew how to handle. I played them like fiddles against each other because I knew I could. I would get away with it. And then Ethan issued an ultimatum, saying I had a decision to make, because he was tired of sharing me. I decided to pick Tobias. He was so charismatic, fun, and easygoing. I was able to justify things because like I said, I couldn’t continue having a real relationship with Ethan. He was vehemently against marriage, like, would go on. He didn’t want children. He wasn’t made for the life I wanted to carve out for the life I wanted to have.”’

Victoria’s nails dig into her palm as she tries to breathe. Had she misjudged the entire situation? If she stuck around and not pulled both men into a love triangle, could she be the one in Naomi’s shoes, wearing a ring the size of the moon on her finger, living happily ever after?

“I’m not particularly proud of my med school days,” Victoria continues. “It was selfish and callous, and I’m sure Ethan probably hates me.”

“He doesn’t,” Naomi insists, with a shake of her head. “So don’t go around holding onto any guilt. Just...learn from it and do your best.”

Victoria locks eyes with Naomi. She wants to dislike her, so much so. If Naomi is horrible, it’d soothe some of the ache in her chest, and she could continue on believing that what she did to Ethan didn’t matter. But she can’t. By all accounts, Naomi Valentine is…impressive. Smart as a whip, gorgeous, and highly accomplished for someone who’s only been a doctor for around 4 years. And the fact that she’s even giving Victoria the time of day proves that she’s a decent person.

“There you are!”

The hairs on Victoria’s neck stand up as she hears Ethan’s voice from behind. She sees him out of her peripheral as he glides to Naomi, either not noticing her presence at the table or choosing to ignore it.

“I needed caffeine,” Naomi replies, craning her neck to greet Ethan with a kiss. “And I decided to let you sleep in.”

“Thank you.”

Victoria averts her gaze. It feels like she’s intruding on a rather intimate moment, and she doesn’t want to interrupt.

When they break away is when Ethan finally spares a glance her way. His eyes go wide, and yeah, that’s confirmation enough that he didn’t notice her.

“Dr. Sharpe,” he exhales deeply through his nose. “I didn’t know you were here.” His eyes flicker over to Naomi and his hackles go up, defensive and ready to strike at any given moment.

Victoria notices it instantly, his protectiveness over Naomi. Her stomach twists uncomfortably. She couldn’t really blame him, their previous relationship ended on a sour note and didn’t inspire any trust within the man.

Before she can open her mouth to explain, Naomi jumps in. “We were just having some old fashioned girl chat,” she says smoothly, touching her husband’s hand, and he does relax a little bit at the contact.

“I’ve taken up too much of your time,” Victoria announces. She stands up. “Thank you for entertaining an old lady.”

“You’re not old, and it’s no problem,” Naomi shoots back. She stands up as well, finishing the rest of her coffee as she does so. “Enjoy the rest of your time here.”

“You as well.”

Victoria watches as Ethan pulls out his wallet. He tosses a few bills onto the table, paying for Naomi’s drink as well as a generous tip. “Are you ready to go?”

“Always.” Naomi slips her arm around Ethan. Come on handsome, we have some obnoxious tourist-y activities to do.”

Before they walk off, Naomi gives Victoria one more glance. Both women nod at each other, silently saying goodbye. Once they’re out of the restaurant, Ethan garners her attention. “What was that about?”

“Nothing. She just wanted to meet the amazing woman who managed to lock down the elusive commitment-phone known as Ethan Ramsey.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“And what did you tell her?”

“Our story isn’t really her business, I said you’ve grown and we love each other, and we wanted to get married. And then she gave me her version of your relationship.” He doesn’t respond to that, but Naomi does hear him scoff slightly. “Do you want to know what she told me?”

“No.”

That’s a shock. If the roles were reversed, Naomi would covet every single detail. “No?”

“No.” Ethan stops walking and Naomi follows suit. He turns, looking her in the eye. “I meant what I said to you yesterday. I don’t need any sort of closure from that chapter of my life. You, Naomi Marie Ramsey, are the only woman in my life that I care about.”

Even though she hasn’t made any sort of effort to change her name, she still giggles at being called Ramsey. Surging forward, she captures his lips in a kiss. It doesn’t take Ethan long to respond, his hand traveling to the small of her back, holding her close.

Too soon for her liking, Ethan breaks apart from her, resting his forehead on hers. “You know, if you want to actually explore anything other than the four walls of our suite, I suggest we put this on pause. You wanted to do some exploring, last I heard.”

“You’re right,” Naomi relents, pecking him on the lips once more for good measure. “Now let’s go shopping, Dr. Ramsey. I didn’t marry rich for nothing.”

~v~

Tags: @mercury84choices @mvalentine @sizzlingcashherohumanoid @choicesaddict5 @professorkingslay @nikki-2406 @maurine07 @aka-calliope @edgiestwinter @brycesgirl @akshara16 @bluebellot @whimsicallywayward15 @honeyandsunfl0wers @blossomanarchy @takemyopenheart @jamespotterthefirst @fanmantrashcan @whatchique @ao719 @x-kyne-x @colourmeshy @paulfwesley @the-pale-goddess @writinghereandthere @ramseyandrys @perriewinklenerdie @aworldoffandoms @thatcatlady0716 @drakewalker04 @canknot @hatescapsicum @lapisreviewsstuff @senseofduties @badchoicesposts @ethandaddyramseyx @chasingrobbie @zodiacsign1 @choices-lurker @my-heart-beats-for-ya @adrian-motherfucking-raines @riverrune @edith-eggs1 @thatysn @bellcat2010 @blainehellyes @cecilecontrera @junehiratas @choices-love-affair @openheart12 @caseyvalentineramsey @desmaranj @nazario-sayeed @aestheticartsx @ruinedbypixels @nooruleman @rookie-ramsey

#playchoices #choices: stories you play #open heart #ethan ramsey #dr. ethan ramsey #ethan x mc

[spade-riddles]

Submission:

Do antis and ex-Kaylors ever stop to think about how their perception of Karlie makes no sense?

We all know Jerklie is fake. But he’s toxic to her reputation now, and she could easily beard for someone else. So why wouldn’t she? 

“But she likes Jerk” - I mean, does she? Because she looks dead behind the eyes during their pap walks. She’s been caught on camera arguing with him multiple times (1975 concert, 4th July party, etc) and it’s clear he keeps springing stuff on her she didn’t agree too, and resents. The sheer weirdness of the “wedding” PR rollout attests to that. Just look at her miserable face eating cake on the floor. I’m not exactly feeling the love here. Yeah, she slings her arm around him in a picture, but Taylor used to be just as OTT with the PDA with Calvin, and we all know she hated him. Pictures prove nothing. 

“But Jerk is rich and well-connected and that’s why she sticks with him” - oh please. The Kushers are as sham rich as their in-laws. We joke all the time about how crappy Jerk is at business. Karlie is charming and well-connected in her own right. I struggle to believe she couldn’t find better business partners. Maybe she has poor management, but the number one reason for that is her connection to Jerk. Better management won’t touch her while she’s connected to him. They can’t sell this version of her. 

The smart move for her career would be to dump him. If she’s so fame hungry and self-centered, why hasn’t she? Are we really supposed to believe Karlie would be selfish and cruel enough to put her career over Taylor … but not over Jerk? How does that even make sense? It doesn’t! 

“Karlie toys with Kaylors because we’re the only fans she has left” - does not compute. First because Kaylor fandom is tiny now, and the subset of Kaylors who believe they’re still together (and pay attention to Karlie) is even tinier. It wouldn’t be worth her while to use us for financial gain. Half the Kaylors who even support her on Tumblr have made it clear they won’t be buying from her Adidas line or supporting her other endeavors until she leaves Jerk. There just isn’t any money to be made from us, pure and simple. 

“Okay, then Karlie TROLLS Kaylors because she hates us and wants to make us look stupid!” - I mean, looking at the venom we send her way I doubt she loves us anymore. But why would she bother trolling us? It’s so unbelievably petty, and she never seemed to be that. Maybe I have her character all wrong, but even if I do … wouldn’t she get tired of it eventually? All the “trolling” ever does is bring more hate down on her head and reduce the amount of people willing to pay attention to her in future. It’s shooting herself in the foot. 

Most of the people who get excited by her hints are the well-intentioned fans who want her to be free and happy. If her relationship with Jerk is fake (as it obviously is) then why would she be so full of hate for fans who only wish her well? You may as well say Taylor stunts with Toe because she “hates” Gaylors and wants to troll us. Why do we always give Taylor the benefit of the doubt and assume there were 1001 pivots on the road to her coming out, but with Karlie, we always assume the worst? 

“Kaylor broke up and Karlie is just trying to stay relevant by mining the Taylor connection!” - yeah, I don’t know how to tell you this, but if a tree falls in the forest and only a tiny subset of internet fans notice it, it’s not staying relevant. Karlie wearing a rainbow sweater the day Fearless comes out is only interesting to us. Literally no-one else cares! These kind of obscure hints aren’t going to get her headlines or jobs. 

Also, if Karlie really cared that much about using the Taylor thing for fame, there are a million better ways to do it. She could post throwback pics of their “friendship”. She could mention her all the time in interviews. Taylor is in a quiet phase with the media, and NDAs don’t cover EVERYTHING. As long as Karlie didn’t actually lie or expose their relationship as more than a friendship, there are a lot of ways she could have continued to tie herself to Taylor for publicity, and Taylor couldn’t do anything about it. But mostly Karlie hasn’t done that. Instead, she went dark. How does that fit?

Also, if they did break up, there is nothing to stop Karlie coming out. She’s good friends with Cara Delevingne. She could get loads of headlines about Cara “helping her find the courage to come out” or “helping her realize her sexuality”. She could be linked to other famous women. If Karlie was OUT, people would speculate like crazy about her being an ex of Taylor Swift’s, even if NDAs meant she couldn’t talk about it. If publicity was all Karlie wanted, she could have plenty of it. If she came out as bi, she could even go back to bearding later. It hasn’t stopped Julienne Hough, Harry Styles, or a bazillion other Hollywood celebs. 

But instead she puts all her energy into presenting this image of herself as super straight. WHY? 

You know who really needs Karlie to be straight right now? And to have always been straight, and in love with the same guy the whole time they knew each other?

TAYLOR. 

If Karlie is married to Jerk and had “his” baby, then the Jerklie relationship was real all along. That’s what people will think. Kaylors are just a bunch of deluded, intrusive shippers on the internet. TAYLOR needs people to believe this. There is no other woman she can be convincingly linked to right now, and it’s hard for her to stunt with Toe, for a lot of reasons. One is that she picked a British beard and then an international pandemic hit, whoops! Another is that she set up this whole “private love story” idea with him. And anyway, its been four years. If she starts stunting more hardcore with Toe there are only so many stunts left to pull. If Karlie wasn’t “married” to Jerk right now, I GUARANTEE we would be seeing a Toe engagement. 

Karlie is doing the heavy lifting for Taylor. It’s obvious to me. 

[notsickqueen]

im just going to say this cuz im fucking tired, it is not good romanticize a stunt, a beard or whatever u want to call it. When u say, "look at them", "they were so cute", "he really liked her" or "if larry is not real I prefer Brianna or Danielle", are u listening to what are u saying? Because is sound so stupid, just because there are two or three pics where they look happy or cute or like they look in love DOESNT MEAN THAT THEY ARE IN LOVE, for example; in a party I kiss and talk and im friendly with all the people because the situation, I huge strangers, I took their hands, Im also loving, and that doesnt mean that Im in love.

What the hell is this?

Omg they look like that because in front of them THERE WAS A CAMERA, they have to look like that, if you search and watch all the videos u will understand that everything was planned. For months they went to clubs every night and every nigth they were paparazzed, and as Niall said "if u dont want to be paparazzed, u wont be", they allowed this. (Anyways the first and the third photo are edited so dont be fooled)

Even if lounielle were cute, saying that u prefer that if larry is not true is so disrecpectfull, danielle said a lot of times that she regretted, when there werent cameras their happiness was fading, didnt u see the pics where she had to take out her bra and she was so uncomfortable? if they were in love it was a toxic love because when all ended she wasnt there for the worst moments of Lou's life, but she went out every night to parties and there are a lot of articles and photos about that time, if u really loved someone, u support her/him even if u are not with her/him anymore.

"U cant say that brianna was stunt" I CAN FUCKING SAY WHAT I WANT JUST LEAVE ME, im not like you that just for three happy photos in a club with 80 cameras in front of them I will think that was not a stunt. And for me is a little bit disrespectfull talk about that time because the things were so strange and I didnt see louis being happy when he was with her without cameras so dont tell me tht they were cute when I know the horrible things tht happened.

"Im larry but I really like lounielle" what are u saying??? U like a false relationship that was created to hide a real relationship, do u like that? They HAVE TO look cute, they HAVE TO film videos being so in love, they HAVE TO act like a real couple because homophobic people, do u think that this is easy? that louis wants this shit? That harry wants this shit? They paid her to work of this and she admited.

Lets go with kendall, like a lot of people think that in that time they broke up, they think H fell in love with her. In my opinion, any real relationship prepared a whole story about being hacked just for show some pictures in a private lake or sea whatever that place was, they could simply tell us by an article, by a post on instagram but no, they were "hacked" and then we have their cute pictures in a jate that casually in the part they were was an space to be paparazzed and a worker of publicity confirm it to us by saying that the famous who want to be paparazzed goes exactly to that part of the jate so the cameras can catch them because paps cant be near to the jate, they have to be hired. Again, THEY HAVE TO LOOK CUTE FOR THE CAMERAS, years of this and u still not understand it?

I dont know how people still believing hamille was real, didnt u see the videos of Harry singing to louis at vip box in his concerts? And yesss im affirming it because nobody else was there, Louis was there. Harry didnt sing still the one to him for u to believe he was in love with camille, they need a narrative so people now can say he wrote his album for her, they needed a story.

Cherry=stunt song

(doesnt mean that is not beautiful)

If u have a "guilty shipp" is bad, and that is not my opinion, is a true concept, u cant have a guilty shipp because they look cute when they are hiding a real relationship, im talking about lounielle, it wasnt love, it was a CONTRACT, understand it.

For the twitters ones: if u are reading this, please dont bring again lounielle, hamille, hendall, brianna pics again, there werent good times, there was a horrible contract.

Im not saying this because im a larrie, im saying this because of harry and louis, do u think it was easy for them to hide their relationship? It wasnt and is not. I dont want to make u feel guilty just please try not to do these things again.

Thanks for reading me.

---------------------------------------------------

Voy a decir esto porque estoy muy cansada, no esta bueno romantizar stunts, barbas o como quieras llamarlo. Cuando dices "miralos", "se ven muy tiernos", "a el realmente le gustaba", "si larry no es real prefiero a danielle o brianna", estas escuchando lo que estas diciendo? Porque suena muy estupido, solo porque hayan dos o tres fotos donde lucen tiernos, felices o que estan enamorados NO SIGNIFICA QUE REALMENTE LO ESTEN. Por ejemplo, en una fiesta, yo me beso, yo me hablo, soy amistosa y tierna con todos por la situacion en la que estoy, me abrazo con extraños, les tomo la mano y soy amorosa con ellos y eso no significa que este enamorada.

Que mierda es esto?

Omg ellos lucen asi porque HAY UNA CAMARA AL FRENTE DE ELLOS, ellos tienen que lucir asi, si buscas y ves todos los videos vas a entender que todo estaba planeado. Todas las noches salian y todas las noches eran fotografiados, como niall dijo "si no quieres ser fotografiado, no lo eres", ellos lo permitieron. (De todas formas la primera y tercera foto estan editadas asi que no sean engañados).

Incluso si lounielle lucian tiernos, diciendo que preferirias a ellos si larry no es real, es irrespetuoso, danielle muchas veces dijo que se arrepentia, cuando no habia camaras su felicidad se esfumaba, no viste las fotos donde ella tuvo que sacarse el corpiño y ella estaba muy incomoda? Si ellos estaban enamorados fue un amor toxico porque cuando todo termino ella no estuvo en los peores momentos de louis, pero ella salia todas las noches, y hay articulos y fotos sobre esa epoca, si de verdad amaste a alguien estas para apoyarlo/a incluso cuando terminaste con el/ella.

"No puedes decie que brianna fue stunt" PUEDO DECIR LO QUE YO QUIERA SOLO DEJAME, no soy como vos que por tres fotos en un club con 80 camaras al frente de ellos no voy a pensar que fue stunt. Y es un poco irrespetuoso hablar de esa epoca cuando todas las cosas fueron raras y louis no se veia feliz con ella sin camaras, y no me digas que ellos lucian tiernos cuando se las cosas horribles que pasaron.

"Soy larrie pero me gusta lounielle" que estas diciendo? Te gusta una relacion falsa que fue creada para ocultar una relacion verdadera. Te gusta eso? Ellos TENIAN que lucir tiernos, TENIAN que grabar videos estando "enamorados", TENIAN que actuar como una pareja real por las personas homofobicas, piensas que fue facil? Que louis queria esa mierda? Que harry queria esa mierda? Le pagaron a ella para que trabaje de esto y ella lo admitio.

Vamos con kendall, como la gente cree que ellos cortaron para esa fecha, piensan que harry se enamoro de ella. En mi opinion, ninguna relacion de verdad crea una historia donde son hackeados para mostrarnos unas fotos en un jate en un lago o mar lo que sea ese lugar, simplemente pudieron darnos la noticia por un articulo, un post en instagram, pero no, fueron "hackeados" asi nos mostraron sus fotos tan tiernas en el jate que casuamente estaban en un lugar para ser fotografiados y un trabajador de publicismo nos lo confirmo diciendo que si los famosos quieren ser vistos tienen que ir hacia ese lugar asi las camaras pueden captarlos porque no pueden acercarse los paps, tienen que ser contratados. De nuevo, ELLOS TIENEN QUE LUCIR TIERNOS, tantos años de esto y todavia no lo entiendes?

Todavia no entiendo a la gente que sigue diciendo que hamille fue real, no viste cuando harry le canto a louis en la vip box? Y si lo estoy confirmando porque nadie mas estaba alli, louis si. Harry no canto still the one a louis para que creas que estaba enamorado de camille, ellos crearon la narrativa asi podian decir que le escribio un album a ella, ellos necesitaban la historia.

Cherry=stunt song.

(Eso no quita que sea hermosa)

Si tienes un "shipp culposo" esta mal, y no es mi opinion, es un concepto real, no podes tener un shipp culposo porque lucen lindos cuando estan ocultando una relacion de verdad, estoy hablando de lounielle, no era amor, ERA UN CONTRATO, entiendan.

Para las de twitter: si estas leyendo esto por favor, no traigas a lounielle, hamille, hendall, brianna, de vuelta, no fueron buenos momentos, fue un horrible contrato.

No estoy diciendo esto porque soy larrie, estoy diciendolo por harry y louis, piensas que fue facil ocultar su relacion? No lo fue y no lo es. No estoy tratando de hacerte sentir culpable solo no lo hagas de vuelta y listo.

Gracias por leerme

#larry #stunt #beards #brianna

[missskzbiased]

I Hate That I’m Afraid to Love You (3)

Genre: Romance, Friendship, Angst, Hurt /Confort , Suggestive, Fluff College Au, Enemies to Friends to Lovers Au, REALLY Slow burn, Love Square (?)

Pairing: Hyunjin X Fem!Reader  X Han X OC

WC: ~ 5,0K

[Previous] [Chap] [Next]

Masterlist

Warnings (general*): Language, Mentions of (Physical abuse, Death/ Loss of Loved One, Child Abandonment/Neglect, Divorce, Toxic Parents, Cancer, Mental disorder, Anxiety Attack)

Notes: I hope you guys like it. Chapter 2’s tags didn’t work TT.TT so I hope this time the tags works… *Sigh* Anyway! This and the next 2 chapters will have more of an angsty feeling to them. If you guys feel that I should put a warning or something like this, please let me know! [Although I think I listed everything on the general warnings]

I’m opened to any feedback! It’s my first fic like this so I know I have a lot to learn yet. Any tips or suggestions are welcomed!

REMINDER: I’m neither a psychologist nor a psychology student.

The next chapters will have some things related to psychology BUT IT’S ALL FROM MY MIND. Please don’t consider it as something a therapist would say.

Also, don’t consider it as a good way to handle any mental illness.

Just as a note, the MC will realize she needs therapy at some point [~chap10], so I’m not trying to show friendship, love or whatever as the solution to mental illness [Though those kind of things can help you out, consider doing therapy if it’s possible]  

Updates: I’ll update it once a week [Tuesdays] because I still have to write the chapters to come and review the ones I already wrote

                                                       ////

    If you knew all it took to get Hyunjin’s head out of his ass was confront him, you would have done it way too sooner.

   You knew you got on his nerve when he came into the classroom without sparing you a glance, his usual mocking self nowhere to be seen. He walked straight ahead to his seat, gliding, his chin slightly upraised as if he felt like a royal member himself, lips quirked up in a carefree way that you knew he was feigning. You shouldn’t feel too good about it, but you felt it anyway.

   Paris noticed something was wrong, her eyes following him amazed, noticing he didn’t try to flirt or tease you at all.

   “Is it just me or he just ignored you?” She asked surprised, her eyes glued to him even when he was already settled on his seat “He didn’t even look here!” Her eyes shot at you, mischievous “What did you do?” she grinned devilishly.

   “Nothing” You shrugged, struggling to keep your smirk off of your face.

    You always said you didn’t really hate Hyunjin and you meant it, but it didn’t mean you were anywhere near to be fond of him in any way. You knew you were being petty and childish, but you couldn’t help it. You weren’t obliged to put up with his guts! He had this infuriating aura around him like he was some kind of god, and it just upsets you to the point you wanted to punch him sometimes. He did nothing wrong, but that was exactly the issue! You hated these kinda movies that pictured the male lead as a perfect little thing that could do all he wanted because he was just amazing... People like this didn’t exist.

   Except that he almost fit that image.

   Now, you weren’t saying he was perfect! He was way too far from that if your opinion had any importance at all. The thing is that he is rich. Okay... But being rich is enough to make you hostile towards someone? Well, it is when this someone doesn’t put a damn effort into anything and you have to work your ass off to get the same results as him. So maybe you were envious? Yeah, maybe. Whatever. You felt wronged when you knew you had to be all work and no play while he could play whenever he wants because he was blessed with a good family.

   It was infuriating.

   Of course, you would be able to get good scores at everything without putting any effort into it if you were tutored back in high school like he was... Of course, you would be able to look charismatic and sassy if you had the time to sleep after your work, instead of studying your ass off so you could keep up your grades and your scholarship... Of course, you would be able to have fun and be relaxed, hence being able to absorb all the information your professors spat out if you didn’t have to live up to everyone’s expectations! And, of course, you would be able to have a good relationship with the university if you were a hell out of a rich girl that could give your damn money to the university and get on everyone’s good side.  

   So maybe it wasn’t Hyunjin’s fault to be able to do things you couldn’t do even if you worked your fingers to the bone... But he and his shitty personality didn’t help his case at all. Maybe if he was a kind guy or something like this, but he was an asshole! He knew how you hated all those things about him, and he would still rub it to your face. He got off on the fact you were miserable compared to him! Every time he could bring up how he was better than you in every aspect (which he wasn’t, really!), he would. Every time he could show you how the professors got on his side just because, he would. Every time he could do something that made you pissed off, he would.

   So maybe it wasn’t Hyunjin’s fault he had everything you worked for.

   But his good for nothing personality was solely his fault.

   And you would hold on it for your dear life.

   “Y/N, could you refresh my memory? What was your feeling’s choice?” Your professor, Mr.Lee, asked in a quiet tone before scratching his white beard, his eyes focused on yours, analyzing your every move. It was kind of invasive every time he looked at you as if he could see your soul, and you wondered if someday you would be like him.

   “It was Hate, sir” You answered firmly, your eyes sharp as a knife when you returned his gaze.

    “Would you care to enlighten us about your choice? Is it too personal?” He asked in a kind tone, letting it be your call. You didn’t understand why he was beating around the bush like this, but you shrugged it off.

    “As I said last week, sir, I think hate can move people to do dreadful things without thinking about the consequences… I believe nothing can beat hate. Not time. Not love” You looked in Paris’ way with an apologetic smile “I guess I made my point clear enough last time” You added, a tight smile on your lips.

   “Yes. Yes, You did… I remember a lot of raising hands to agree with your plea” He acknowledged, his eyes darting to Hyunjin this time “And you, Hyunjin? I believe your answer was also quite defended last Friday” He encouraged. Hyunjin looked back at him, still averting his eyes from you at all costs.

   Your smirk made its way to your lips as you felt superiority’s sweet taste.

   “Yes, it was, sir” He agreed. Even though he didn’t feel like talking to you and seemed… Tense, his voice still hung that endearing power he had, getting everyone’s attention as he opened his mouth to repeat what he said before “Fear is clearly stronger than Hate as it can paralyze people, make them give up on everything… If hate makes you do things you regret, fear also makes you regret things you can’t do” He seemed off as he spoke it, his eyes too focused, his jaw clenched slightly… His arguments got better too, maybe he thought about it since Friday?

   Probably not.                                                                                                                                                                    

   “And I believe no one could agree with Paris, since the classes ended in the best part of our discussion! Paris had a good argument, though, and I happened to hear from Hyunjin himself, that it beat his own” He sang, Paris chirped excitedly, making you chuckle “If any of you were too hungry and lost to remember, she said Love was the strongest feeling because it could beat any other… You could beat fear and hate with it, you could do something out of love or sacrifice yourself by not doing something in the name of love…” His voice hung there, purposely pulling an imaginary string, getting everyone attention as he looked around, the cliffhanger being too hard to ignore.

     “So who was right?” You heard someone asks from the back, your eyes glued to your professor’s smirk as you waited, your breathing withhold on your chest, hoping you could be the one to be right, or at least Paris…

   “No one and every one of them” He announced, proudly. It was needless to say all the holding breaths came out as disappointed sighs, an unknown winner standing for the title you would never get “This exercise isn’t about who is right or wrong… There is no such thing as the most powerful feeling! Every single feeling has a full meaning for that one person that holds it” You rolled your eyes, thinking about how Mr.Lee could be such a good professor and such a bad one. He was bullshitting all of you, and to speak of which—

   “That’s bullshit!” A girl uttered in the front row “Are you saying a patient in love is the same as a patient who wants to kill themselves?! Someone who hates themselves so much they want to be dead… You can’t say it’s not as powerful as some lovesick bast—I mean, person” Okay, so maybe that girl had some hate issues? You saw his eyes lit up as if he was expecting a tantrum.

   “You can’t see a patient who hates himself and say he’s more important than that one fearing something to the point he can’t even get away from his own house… Nor say the one who’s healing themselves with love ─ this being self-love or someone else’s love ─ isn’t as important as your other patient… Every single human being is a full universe, and a good professional has to be able to see it clearly! The most important feeling to you may not be the most important feeling to this patient, you have to think ahead of yourself” He smiled at the end of his speech, clearly proud of the marveled looks on your face.

   You thought it was kinda cute how he stood there giving these same classes probably for… twenty? Thirty years? And still got so excited to see how all of you would react. You let a smile flicker over your face, and you felt Paris beam at your side ─probably relating it with music in her head─ but Hyunjin wasn’t so impressed, raising his hand promptly, getting a nod from Mr.Lee who was giving him the word.

   “What did you make us suggest them for? If the whole point was to make us understand every feeling matters, I can’t understand why we lost one day debating it” You turned your head from Hyunjin to Mr.Lee, expecting what kind of answer he would give.

   He grinned again, glad things were going on his way.

   “That’s a great question” He agreed “The thing is, my fellow students, you guys tend to state the most important feeling to you… I think it should be no surprise that you are all adults struggling with things along your way, and by this simple debate, I can tell you, Mr.Hyunjin, struggle with a great fear of something… I can tell Ms.Paris healed herself with great love… If you want me to be more specific, I do remember her statement about love being protective, and her examples were about a mother protecting her child and a soldier… Would I be wrong if I guess your mom’s love moved her to do great things to protect you from something really dangerous, Ms.Paris? Perhaps something as violent as a war?” Holy shit! You felt as you were on a ‘Now You See Me’ movie, all hidden things getting a spotlight right in front of you.

    “No, sir! You would be totally right!” She agreed blissfully, getting a humming from him.

    “I thought so too” He joked, laughing to himself “Do you have any more questions, Mr.Hyunjin?” His voice held this knowing tone when you just knew you have nailed it.

   You felt the urge to clap, excited at all this.

   Then you felt the urge to hide.

   You struggled with hate, and now it was unfolded there for anyone who wanted to see it.

   You couldn’t focus on your classes anymore, your mind wandering around some stuff you didn’t really want to remember right now, your childhood unfolding there like a really long movie that you didn’t want to watch at all. Paris seemed to notice your absentminded self, her hand resting on top of yours, reassuringly squeezing your own before you smiled weakly at her, the soft contact dragging you out of your thoughts.

   “I’m fine” You guaranteed, receiving a nod as a response.

    Her hand never left yours though.

    There are times, such as this, your mind just gets numb.

    It’s almost like a TV snowing, the soft noise sounding like numbness at the back of your mind, nothing really getting there, even though your eyes were opened and looking straight ahead, you didn’t take in any images. You weren’t quite sure what was on your mind when the loud alarm sounded through your brain, getting you startled, your eyes snapping back to whatever was happening in front of you: A sea of students wiping their stuff into their bags and scattering around. You looked around, confused when you finally noticed the class had ended.

   How long were you thinking? Were you even thinking? What was Mr.Lee saying?

   You sighed heavily, looking at the blank pages on your notebook, and you could almost feel like he stared back at you, disappointed. Paris rested her hand on your shoulder, burying your head with a worried look that made you say the first thing coming across your head “Classes ended already”, Oh, well… That was a poor statement… You got a sympathetically look as an answer, “Han must be almost here, we should get ready” You added, a more useful wording this time, getting your stuff and standing up, your hand finally away from hers.

    She got up as well, letting you go just like this. You couldn’t be more grateful for her understanding right now. You merged into the crowd getting out of the class, taking short steps and stretching your neck, trying to get air and have a vision around, searching for Han in the hallways. As soon as you got out, you felt a hand grab your wrist, pulling you to the sides, colliding with a warm chest that made you frown annoyed, glaring at the boy who turned out to be Han himself.

   “Are you blind?” He laughed, ruffling your hair, getting a chuckle from Paris.

   “No, you’re just too small” You mocked, his whining making you and Paris laugh. The three of you made your way through the crowded hallways, heading to the dining hall, ready to eat whatever was being served there. You looked around the Quad, expecting to see Chan there waiting for Hyunjin and wave at him, since you knew they both use to have lunch together on Tuesdays.

   What you didn’t expect was to catch a glance at an odd woman, her flashy fashion getting your attention immediately and making you feel dizzy.

   You would bet you were pale as a ghost.

   “Hey, are you okay?” You heard Han ask, glancing over the area you were staring “You seem kinda… Off” He stated worried, getting Paris attention as well, making her stop her blabbering about today’s class and look at you concerned.

   “I’m just hungry” You uttered, looking at them with a tight smile “Let’s go quickly before I pass out” You said hurriedly, pulling them by their wrists, eager to get out of there.

   They let you hurry them, exchanging a look before shrugging it off.

                                                          ////

   You felt your heart slamming on your chest, your lungs seeming too small to handle your need for air. Although you weren’t running for real, your steps were quick and wide, your head swivels as you tried to find Chan on campus, your legs burning as you walked fast and your neck hurting to move around searching for him. You felt a hand on your shoulder, grabbing it with much more strength than needed, and you shut your eyes closed, defeat washing over you.

   “Holy shit, where were you?!” Chan’s voice sounded alarmed and your disappointment switched to relief.

   “Oh, thank god!” You chirped, turning around and hugging him out of reflex “Where were you?! Did you see her?” You asked worried, his face giving all the answers you needed “Is it bad?” Your voice sounded weak even to your ears, thin and trembling.

   Fragile.

   “It’s… Well, it’s not good” He mused, averting his eyes “It could be worst I guess… She wants to talk to you” He explained, his hand squeezing your shoulder “I told her I would ask you to meet her at the yard… It was the least crowded place I could think of… ” He sighed, looking tired; he must have been worried, running around like this just to find you “Where the hell is your phone? Why can’t you pick up my call, woman” He complained, trying to light up the mood, but you couldn’t find his teasing amusing right now.

   “I forgot it at the dorm… I will pick it up later, before work” You answered, kinda absent-minded, your mind wandering around a hundred thoughts at the same time, your breathing starting to falter. You felt his arms wrapping you up, embracing you tightly and soothing something on your ear as he stroke your hair gently, his sudden touch getting your attention back to him “Thank you” You muttered against his chest, clearing your throat before pushing him away gently “Lord, stop being cheesy” You joked, making him scoff in disbelief.

   “I run around this damn place because you can’t take your phone with you like a grown-up ass and you call me cheesy?” He snorted, feigning to be hurt as his hand rose to his chest “I even ditched Hyunjin for you…” He added, swiping imaginary tears as he looked at you.

   “Hyunjin was with you?” You asked exhausted “Great… Did she say anything in front of him?” He was quick to shake his head, denying, and you let a relieved sigh “Well, that’s good then”

   “I asked him to wait where we were, guided your mom, and came for you… I don’t think he connected the dots yet, although he will ask about it for sure” He explained briefly and you nodded in response “I think you should go talk to her before she comes back” He reasoned, and you nodded in agreement, squeezing his shoulder in silent gratefulness before smiling gently at him, getting a small smile back.

    If you had one thing in this world you could always count on it would be Chan.

    You picked up your pace, trying to reach the yard as fast as possible, using all your strength to gather your thoughts together; worry washing over you as you got closer to your destination. You couldn’t be distracted; you had to keep calm, to be understanding, to be focused. As soon as your eyes landed on her, you felt your heart pang. She was beautiful, of course, her blond dyed hair suited her well, and her sunglasses matched well her style, the flowery dress giving a girly and young vibe to her.

    How long had it been since you saw her like this?

    She seemed to notice you, taking her glasses off and flashing you a bright smile, getting up from the bench she was sitting on, and coming to meet you halfway. You looked around, checking for people you knew, before sighing in relief as you made sure the yard was indeed pretty vacant, just like Chan predicted, and opened your arms so she could hug you like she made mention to do.

   “Long time no see!” She chirped, hugging you tightly, and you seized the moment for a bit, her warm embrace making you smile homesickly “You never come back home! We miss you” There was it. You nodded, not really agreeing with her, and broke away from her, a tight smile adorning your lips.

   “Yeah… We just have a lot to do here” You lied “How is it back home? Why are you here?” You asked genuinely curious. She shrugged, grabbing your wrist and guiding you to the bench she was sitting before, sitting down and patting it so you would do the same.

   “I think I will get back with your father” She beamed “He’s in love with me! I wanted you to be the first one to know” You closed your eyes, sighing before you opened them again, looking straight into hers. She looked exactly as you remembered in your childhood… Delusional.

   “Mom, he doesn’t love you…” You said cautiously, searching for any signs of rage on her face, but all you got for an answer was a scoff “He abandoned you, mom… He’s back now, but he doesn’t love you… Please, don’t make a big deal out of it” You pleaded, but now her disgust was plastered all around her face.

   “You were always like this… You never loved him!” She uttered, her voice rising just for a bit, but it made your heart race anyway, afraid she could get out of control “That was exactly why he left us!” She added, her rage made you shrink your shoulders, your eyes unconsciously scanning around to see if anyone was looking, shame imbuing every part of your body.

    “I wasn’t the reason he left” You muttered, her gasp getting your attention again, her eyes accusing you silently.

    “Are you saying I was the reason he left us?” She asked, hatred dripping from her words.

     Yes.

     “No, of course not!” You rushed to say, your lie tasting bitter on your throat, the dry gulp inevitable “We’re not to blame… It was his own fault” You reassured her, your hand making its way to her shoulder before she swapped it away, huffing.

    “You’re unbelievable” She snickered “He came back for me, he has been with me for three years! You can’t understand how much he loves me! How much we belong together!” Her voice was loud now, and you were sure anyone who happened to go through the yard would be watching you “He loved you, Y/N… He even had your photo! Did you know that? He had that tiny photo of you… He never stopped loving you, and you can’t be grateful for what you have!” You bit your lower lip, trying to stay calm, to be the responsible one.

   Again.

   “Are you taking your meds?” You asked tired, your back curved as if you had aged fifty years in this few minutes of talk “Is he giving you your meds?” You asked again, looking in her eyes. She looked at you like you were a bug annoying her, her brows frown as she leaned closer to your face.

   “I don’t need the pills” She spat angrily, her eyes shooting yours “I can take care of myself! Look at me, I’m here, ain’t I? I came here by myself! I don’t need to be enclosed! I’m okay!” She got up from the bench, yelling at you. Finally, some people seemed to notice the commotion, and you could only avert your eyes…

  You could handle it, you always did it.

 “I can take care of myself just like I took care of you!”

   No, you couldn’t.

  “I took care of you” You uttered, your eyes burying in hers “Do you know who didn’t take care of you?! Who didn’t take care of me?!” You yelled back, angry “Him! He didn’t take care of you! He didn’t love you! He doesn’t love you now!” You got up from the bench as well, gesticulating widely as shame and anger mixed up on your guts, the solid presence of eyes fixed on you in the back of your head, fueling it.

   Way to go, Y/N! Just what she needed right now!

   You felt the sting on your cheek before you could process what happened.

   “You don’t even see him at home, you know nothing” She spat, her hand still raised in the air, no signs of regret in her eyes. You felt the tears prickling, your hand trailing to your face slowly before caressing the hot skin, the pain in your chest deeper than what you felt on your face. You didn’t dare to look around, to check people’s reaction, so you just stood there, looking her in the eyes as your vision blurred.

   “Oh my god” You heard a male voice, startled.

   You could recognize it even if you didn’t hear it for three whole years, even if before that you haven’t heard it for a whole ten years of your life… You could recognize it anywhere because it was his voice, the voice who answered you when you first learned to say daddy, the voice that soothed you before sleep, the voice who supported your mother through her depression, the voice that yelled at her when she was being a maniac, the voice that vanished from your life… That voice belonged to the one who had only one task… And failed it.

   “Honey!” Your mother beamed; his eyes landed on her confused before turning to you. He was accompanied by a man in uniform, a Hospital logo on his chest that you promptly recognized as Chan’s family business, he walked over to your mother, guiding her away gently.

   Of course, it was Chan, even when your father showed up to do something useful, it wasn’t his initiative.

   “You suck” You said as you got closer to him, rage bubbling inside you “You just needed to take care of her… Can you do at least one thing right? Can you take care of anyone at all?” You asked exhausted, stopping right in front of him, your eyes held a disappointment that made him shrink.

   “I’m giving it to her… I don’t know what is happening” He defended himself, making you scoff.

   “Did you look under her tongue? Are you sure she’s taking it? Maybe, if you were there you would have known that she may hide the pills and sometimes refuses to take them…” You laughed humorlessly “It’s funny because I learned it at… ten years? And you don’t seem to learn anything at your forties or whatever!” You snorted, pissed off and bitter,”I should know something was wrong though… Her messages were different…“ You mused, drowning in your guilty.

   “I tried to reach for you, but you didn’t pick up…I was hoping she would get better” He admitted and you could only roll your eyes, looking away before averting them back to him in a cold-steel glare.

   “Yeah, because it’s my fault you can’t handle something that I handled just fine as a kid” You spat, disbelief in your eyes “I can see how invested you are in this” You gestured between yourselves, scoffing as he averted his eyes ashamed. You prepared to make your way to your room but as soon as you got past him, he turned around, calling you.

   “I missed you” He muttered, making you spin on your heels.

   “I bet you did” You smiled bitterly “You’re a professional at missing things… You missed a lot of them all this time, didn’t you? I bet you missed me so much! You missed my birthdays a lot!” You laughed bitterly, clasping your hands together and tilting your head “You missed my graduation… You missed all the therapy mom had to take because of you! You even missed the only thing you had to do to try to redeem yourself!” You scoffed, shaking your head in contempt “You missed a lot of things, dad… You’re twelve years too late to miss me now, though” You sighed, turning away from him and walking straight ahead to your dorm.

    As you walked through the yard, heading to the dorms, you could only feel all of your emotions boiling up, tightening your chest, blocking your throat, and turning into tears before you shot your head up, a failed attempt to stop the tears falling down your face as you walked. People didn’t seem to mind your crying though, as you should have expected, since college students were fated to cry about their terms, essays, and all of the troubles college brought to their lives. You could only feel relief as you lowered your head and quickened your pace, people ignoring you.

    As soon as you opened your door, slamming it open in your stupor, you regretted your crying, and your poor choice of place to go, watching as Han and Paris widened their eyes at you, startled by your state. You closed the door behind you, closing your eyes and clearing your throat, your hands hurriedly wiping your tears away before you turned around to look at them with a clearly fake smile that you knew that looked more like a grimace.

   “Sorry for interrupting” You said, voice almost steady “I… Will be in my room” You added, fast walking.

   “I think you should go…” You heard Paris telling him “Y/N, come here, let’s talk” She pleaded. You heard both of them getting up from the couch. You locked your door right after you got to your room and sat on the floor, head burying in your knees as you hugged them. You heard a door opening, probably Han going away, and as soon Paris knocked on your door you started to cry again.

   “I saw them again… She came to talk to me” You blurted, trying to say something coherent but failing it “She said he loves her… She said it’s my fault they got away from each other… She slapped me…” You sobbed now and then, and even though you tried to explain the situation you Knew Paris must feel lost there, not knowing what to say “He said he missed me… I fought with him again, Paris… I’m just like him! I will abandon everyone around me…” You cried hard this time, trying to recompose yourself miserably, grabbing your ears and swinging back and forth, trying to calm down.

  As you hushed yourself, you missed the door closing with a loud bang.

#skz #stray kids #skz fanfic #stray kids fanfic #skz imagines #stray kids imagines #skz scenarios #stray kids scenarios #skz angst #stray kids angst #skz suggestive #stray kids suggestive #hyunjin #hwang hyunjin #chan #bang chan #han #han jisung #hyunjin x reader #hyunjin fanfic #hyunjin angst #hyunjin scenarios #hyunjin imagines #kpop fanfic #kpop angst #skz x reader

[whatiwillsay]

girl I don’t understand what your agenda ironically is against swiftgron, but like why do you always shut down any idea suggesting a swiftgron reunion which is definitely not implausible considering they literally were proven to meet up in 2019 at SNL yet you’re willing to acknowledge a potential “poly” relationship/overlap of Lily and Joe which is way more unlikely and totally has no evidence to support. Like I don’t care if you’re open to the poly Taylor theories, but like you make it seem laughable and absurd that dianna could’ve come back into the picture and that you know with certainty that it flat out didn’t happen. Like make it make sense. You make me confused sometimes and I never really completely understand the vibe of this blog. You don’t even have to be pro swiftgron, just be consistent. Why is one theory outlandish and considered absurd and shut down with certainty, yet something else (which in my opinion is more absurd) is accepted and promoted?

because dianna was MARRIED and never seen with taylor!? while lily and joe were following taylor around on tour like pets? seen with her all the time? at her apartment? papped out with her hanging out? and people on taylors professional and social circles have passed along gossip (and it is GOSSIP so take it with a grain of salt) about tily and toe both being a thing while everyone i’ve ever talked to has been like “diannas the nicest person i’ve ever met but yeah winstanna real” dianna was literally following WINSTON around on tour while lily and joe were with taylor.

swiftgron is over. they broke up. they’re never seen together and were confirmed to be dating (and even marrying) other people. could they have had some drunken hook up at some point? sure anything is possible (i��ve done at least two bonus podcast episodes on the theory actually) but that’s not my vibe on the situation and no tea suggests it either.

even if you believe the idea of taylor being casual with the people she was dating so she dated around for a bit “absurd” (which is like a pretty NORMAL thing people do in their 20s btw) it doesn’t equate to a late stage swiftgron hookup. if you don’t like open taylor figuring stuff out then it would be far more reasonable to just conclude the tily tea is bad or the toe tea is bad (which either COULD be) and say she was 100% with lily or 100% with joe. it’s still not very reasonable to be like “she was back w dianna”.

i don’t have an agenda “against” swiftgron. i wrote @swiftgronmasterpost to get people to stop saying saying dianna was a toxic manipulative fuck boy. i have an agenda that is pro reality. reality seems to me that there is no late stage swiftgron. whatever you think about my stance on toe/tily (which i’m still trying to work out myself and come to the most reasonable conclusion for me given all the info i’ve heard + taylor’s music + public info) it has nothing to do with swiftgron.

i have consistently said “swiftgron is over but friendly” for a YEAR now. i don’t know what else you want from me in the form of consistency. like saying “you know taylor probably always has a soft spot for dianna but dianna married a guy and btw bts tea suggests she really was with him (and logic - he doesn’t need pr or a beard) and taylor and dianna have been seen together once since 2014 and taylor really dated all these other people so probably no room for swiftgron to get back together” to me is just as fair as saying “ok i heard info that taylor was with lily and info that she really is with joe and taylor’s last three albums have been jam packed with breakup songs and btw lily is no longer around her ever and maybe went off and had a baby which taylor maybe even references in her music and also jam packed with songs about love triangles and people trying to figure out infidelity/being with multiple people + a few love songs very obviously for joe. maybe she was with both of them? 🤷‍♀️”

anyway you can think whatever you want of tily/toe. i wish it added up better too. i’ve experienced ethical non monogamy though and also just, you know, dated people non exclusively. it’s not that outlandish to say she was seeing both of them for a spell but who knows like i said i’m still trying to figure out what i think. however that has nothing to do with swiftgron and by the way, the most harmful and negative thing i could do for that ship was start Truthering some late stage hook up that has zero evidence to support it.

#anonymous

[letterboxd]

Pride: 25 Queer Films To Love.

Dating Amber writer and director David Freyne introduces our London correspondent Ella Kemp to 25 of his favorite LGBTQIA films.

A coming-out, coming-of-age film, David Freyne’s Dating Amber follows “baby gays” Eddie (Fionn O’Shea) and Amber (Lola Petticrew), who act as each other’s beards in order to stop speculation about their sexualities. Released on Amazon Prime Video in the UK for Pride month, it’s winning praise from Letterboxd members as a “charming” and “gentle” comedy-drama “full of loveliness that extends beyond the Irish accents”.

Lola Petticrew and Fionn O’Shea as Amber and Eddie in ‘Dating Amber’.

As the number of films by and about the gay and trans community expands, we asked Freyne if he could narrow down a list of ten favorites for us. The answer was no—instead, we got 25!

“There are so many extraordinary queer films beyond this list, but all of these films just really affected me when I saw them. Some were the first time I saw queerness on screen, while I deeply identified with others. And, as a filmmaker, each of them makes me braver to fight to tell stories that aren't always easy to get made.

“They are in no particular order because I don’t want to bump into Barry Jenkins (which is obviously going to happen) and have to explain that he is number five on that list (that he will definitely read) for no specific reason. It’s just a technicality.”

David Freyne��s 25 Favorite LGBTQIA+ Films

My Summer of Love (2004) Directed by Paweł Pawlikowski

Paweł Pawlikowski’s film feels like a dream that sweeps you up along with it, helped along by incredible early performances from Natalie Press and Emily Blunt. The hypnotic use of Goldfrapp's ‘Lovely Head’ is probably my favorite use of a song in any film ever. Their drug-fuelled dancing was a massive inspiration for Eddie and Amber’s baby steps into Dublin’s gay scene in Dating Amber.

Weekend (2011) Directed by Andrew Haigh

I never fail to cry buckets at the end of this heartbreaking gem. It’s small in the best sense of the word. Two people fall in love over one intimate weekend. Their gayness is both incidental and totally fundamental. It’s so delicate and moving. Andrew Haigh is a master.

But I’m a Cheerleader (1999) Directed by Jamie Babbit

Jamie Babbit’s debut is a brilliant, campy comedy about a cheerleader sent to a conversion therapy camp. I love it for all the reasons many critics (at the time) disliked it. It is subversive, quirky and defiantly upbeat. And it stars Natasha Lyonne and Clea Duvall. Enough said.

Paris is Burning (1990) Directed by Jennie Livingston

I’m not saying anything new when I say that Paris is Burning is necessary viewing. It’s a hilarious, moving and eye-opening look at the (mostly) Black trans women in New York’s ball scene. It is a glimpse into the lives of these extraordinary people who risked everything to live authentically, for themselves and each other. And at a time when our trans family is so under attack, it is vital to see such iconic figures from our community. You’ve probably seen it. Re-watch it. Also those end notes will make you cry.

Happy Together (1997) Directed by Wong Kar-wai

As with all Wong Kar-wai’s work, it is jaw-droppingly gorgeous. It’s a tough watch, a portrait of a toxic, failing relationship. But it looks beautiful. They’re miserable and co-dependent. It’s abusive and awful. But it’s great. It really is a great film. I’m not selling this one well. Just watch it.

Moonlight (2016) Directed by Barry Jenkins

Definitely worth watching after Happy Together. Not just because it will make you feel better, but because Barry Jenkins has noted it as a big influence. Also, Moonlight is a masterpiece. You know that, of course. Side note: I realize I’ll never be able to create a hand-job scene as powerful and tender as Jenkins did here, but, in Dating Amber, I made three comedy hand-jobs. Take that Jenkins!

God’s Own Country (2017) Directed by Francis Lee

You can feel Francis Lee in every frame of this film. It’s personal filmmaking at its very best, with wonderful performances from Josh O’Connor and Alec Secăreanu. And it has the most beautifully romantic ending that you only realize we lack for LGBTQ characters when you see it laid out so wonderfully. When we were trying to finance Dating Amber and people suggested it was too Irish, I’d just reference God’s Own Country, which is so defiantly Yorkshire, and they’d shut up. Also, Secăreanu’s jumper with a thumb hole is my style icon. Bring on Ammonite!

Can You Ever Forgive Me? (2018) Directed by Marielle Heller

Marielle Heller is such a brilliant filmmaker. This film is based on the memoir by Lee Israel who forged letters by famous people to sell. It’s a genre piece that feels like it could have been made in the 70s. But what I love about it the most is that it is a rare example of a film that centers the friendship between a lesbian and a gay man. Why do films usually treat us like we exist in totally separate worlds? Anyway, it’s a joyous watch.

Tangerine (2015) Directed by Sean Baker

I’m obsessed with tightly plotted films and Tangerine doesn’t waste a frame. It’s 88 minutes of pure wit, charm and entertainment in line with the best of old-school Hollywood. You instantly forget that Baker’s film is shot on an iPhone and just get swept up in the extraordinary performances of Mya Taylor and Kitana Kiki Rodriguez. It’s such a mystery they don’t work more. (Reader: it’s not a mystery. It’s because they are Black trans women, and the industry is shit.)

Portrait of a Lady On Fire (2019) Directed by Céline Sciamma

We all bow at the alter of Céline Sciamma. This film is perfection. The sparse-but-powerful use of music, exquisite photography and extraordinary performances that burn beneath the stillness. The final shots of Adèle Haenel will feed your soul for a year. (Side note: face masks have never looked so stylish.)

Sunday Bloody Sunday (1971) Directed by John Schlesinger

This was John Schlesinger’s follow up to his best-known film, Midnight Cowboy. A middle-aged gay doctor (Peter Finch), and a divorced woman (Glenda Jackson), are both in an open love triangle with a younger, bisexual sculptor (Murray Head). It’s quite low-key and far tamer now than when it was released, but it’s a beautiful film and Schlesinger’s most personal. He was one of the few openly gay directors of his time. And Jackson’s performance steals it.

Far From Heaven (2002) Directed by Todd Haynes

Todd Haynes’ stunning film will make you immediately go out and discover all of Douglas Sirk’s glorious technicolor melodramas. Julianne Moore’s performance as a wife who discovers her husband is gay will break you. Dennis Quaid is also terrific as her closeted husband.

The Watermelon Woman (1996) Directed by Cheryl Dunye

Cheryl Dunye’s low-budget debut is a seminal queer film. A video store worker and documentarian (played by Dunye) starts a new relationship while becoming obsessed with ‘the watermelon woman’, a Black actress forgotten by history. It’s lo-fi, funny and a, far too rare, film about race and sexuality.

My Beautiful Laundrette (1985) Directed by Stephen Frears

It may have been the first time I saw gay characters on screen and, at the time, it petrified me. But what an amazing film about love, acceptance and the power to change. Fun fact: Daniel Day-Lewis spent a year as a tumble dryer in preparation for his role.

Beautiful Thing (1996) Directed by Hettie MacDonald

Hettie MacDonald’s coming-of-age film is so lovely, honest and tender. James Harvey adapted it from his own play of the same name. The soundtrack is almost entirely The Mamas and the Papas. I am surprised some cigar-smoking West-End mogul hasn’t attempted a musical adaptation. Or maybe they have, I don’t know.

Pride (2014) Directed by Matthew Warchus

Such a purely entertaining film while being urgent, political and deeply moving. Beresford’s script is a masterclass in plotting and if you don’t cry at the end then you are dead inside. Sorry but that’s just science. Also it has the most emotional postscript coda since, well, Paris is Burning.

Love is Strange (2014) Directed by Ira Sachs

Ira Sachs is one of my favorite current filmmakers and criminally underrated. I mean, he’s appreciated, but he needs to be lauded. Love is Strange is such a charming and quietly devastating love story about an older gay couple who lose their apartment and have to couch surf with relatives. It’s one of the most effective films in dealing with the rental crisis in big cities, something he does equally brilliantly in the follow-up, Little Men.

A Fantastic Woman (2017) Directed by Sebastián Lelio

Sebastián Lelio’s film is a beautiful story about one trans woman’s grief after the unexpected death of her older partner. But what makes this film so spectacular is the captivating performance by Daniela Vega. We need to see more of her on screen.

BPM (Beats per Minute) (2017) Directed by Robin Campillo

It’s a film about the AIDS activism of Act Up in 1990s Paris. What makes this so incredible is how joyous it is. Strobe-doused dance scenes punctuate this film that will make you want to take to the streets and fight for your rights.

The Queen of Ireland (2015) Directed by Conor Horgan

This documentary by Conor Horgan follows Ireland’s most famous drag queen, Panti Bliss (aka Rory O’Neill). It’s about his life, a legal battle (a bunch of homophobes sued Rory for calling them homophobes on national TV) and the staging of a show in his hometown. Central to all this is Ireland’s historic vote on marriage equality, something that Panti was a powerful figure in. If you want to laugh and have your heart soar in seeing confirmation of how a once painfully conservative country moved to love and equality, watch this.

The Kids Are All Right (2010) Directed by Lisa Cholodenko

Lisa Cholodenko’s feature is a warm, witty and realistic look at a lesbian couple and their children. Every performance is pitch perfect. I can’t believe it’s a decade old and that we have had so few similar films since.

Booksmart (2019) Directed by Olivia Wilde

We need more joyous films with queer leads and Olivia Wilde’s debut is just that. Set over one night of belated partying, we follow best friends Molly and Amy (Beanie Feldstein and Kaitlyn Dever), one of whom happens to be a lesbian. It is just so much fun to watch.

All About My Mother (1999) Directed by Pedro Almodóvar

I mean this list could just be an Almodóvar filmography, but All About My Mother just happened to be the first of his I saw and it blew my little gay mind. It’s simply about love in its truest sense. Almodóvar said it best with his dedication, “To all actresses who have played actresses. To all women who act. To men who act and become women. To all the people who want to be mothers. To my mother.”

Female Trouble (1974) Directed by John Waters

You can’t have a queer film list without John Waters, and this 1974 classic is my favorite of his. It follows Dawn Davenport (played by the legendary Divine) from teen delinquent to the electric chair. It’s hilarious, irreverent and distasteful in the ways only Waters can be.

Saint Maud (2019) Directed by Rose Glass

Rose Glass’s debut film isn’t out yet and so technically shouldn’t be on the list. But I saw at a festival last year and loved it, so there. It’s a horror film about a private nurse (rising star Morfydd Clark) who tries to save the soul of her deviant and lesbian patient (the always-brilliant Jennifer Ehle). It’s eerie, stylish and the sort of debut all us filmmakers wish we had. Shut up, you’re jealous!

Related content

MundoF’s Opening the Vault: a chronological history of queer interest and LGBTQ+ cinema.

Leonora’s list of Films by Transgender Writers and Directors.

Out of the Closets and Into the Cinemas!: meeting queer folks in dark rooms.

New Queer Cinema

Queer Films Everyone Must See

Queer, Black, 21st Century: A Pride 2020 List

Autostraddle’s Top 200 Lesbian, Bisexual & Queer Movies of All Time

Brianna’s list of LGBT+ Animation

#david freyne #dating amber #irish film #queer film #gay director #gay cinema #queer cinema #gay pride #pride month #lgbt #lgbtqia #trans film #trans filmmaker #john waters #todd haynes #paris is burning #jamie babbit #pedro almodovar #pawel pawlikowski #celine sciamma #sean baker #lisa cholodenko #wong kar-wai #francis lee #booksmart #letterboxd

[incoherentbabblings]

I love timsteph but it's depressing trying to find fics where they aren't exes or the main pairing isn't batcest or some other tim and stephanie ship with other people. I found some anti saying it was boring and steph was irrelevant unless she was with tim, that the shippers were annoying and they hated her. Their username is corefour on AO3. Can you please tell me why you ship timsteph and why they work well together, that anti's toxic rhetoric really brought me down and I like your timsteph.

I know that feeling anon.  I remember when it was still common to call Steph Tim’s beard and how angry that used to make me.  I saw that fic.  Do your best to not engage with things that make you sad. They can post what they like, and as much as I wish it wasn’t in the pairing tag, these things happen so best just let it pass you by.  I got back into fic writing because YJ#5 just made me so happy, and yeah there are days when I come back from the office and I don’t get any writing done, but if I could not work a 9-5 job rest assured I’d be writing all day to clean up the pairing tag (and doing my cross stitch… and playing my nintendo games… and cooking mac n cheese)

To help cheer you up, here are some things I love about Tim and Steph as a couple.

Okay, so there’s this tie in issue to Batman Brave and the Bold cartoon series and it’s just a little side story where all the robins are called across time to help Batman out and aside from a great moment where Damian tells Jason that yes Dick is in charge so suck it up (he’s Dami’s Batman after all) Dick pairs of Tim and Steph to watch over Bruce whilst he Jason Damian and Carrie go get help. Anyway here’s my two favourite panels:

So in these couple of panels, you have Steph’s inferiority complex rearing its head, which she always reacts defensively to, Tim reassuring her. Then you have Dick noting that yeah she’s good but paired with Tim they are a pretty solid pair. Like this is a solid trope - Red Oni, Blue Oni, Leader and Lancer… like that’s a tried and tested formula that works well, and those two fit it to a t. 

When Tim is honest with Stephanie, she is a non judgemental voice for him to voice his concerns to - she’s the only one who knows him for every aspect of his life, and can still give an outsiders perspective.  She’s protective over him from Bruce’s treatment, she isn’t really keen on Jack.

When Stephanie is honest with Tim, he pulls her back to what actually is the core of the issue, as she tends to always assume the worst in folk (low self esteem yello) and he gives her a lot of help when she’s first getting started.  Equipment, training, missions with him.

You can argue that Tim wasn’t supportive of Steph but honestly I dunno.  He has been extremely supportive of her since the reboot right from the word go (before then… he was one of the only people taking her social media warnings seriously), Jon Lewis wrote Tim and Steph are like… a unit, and Chuck Dixon had most of Tim’s complaints about Steph be so superficial as the aim was to show that Tim really actually was enjoying Steph’s company more than he was willing to admit to himself at the time.  Tim’s just…a happier person with Steph in Gotham.  Besides, Tim grew up and realised that with Batgirl came a lot of maturing for Steph.  All he does is compliment her after the initial hurr burr I told u no costume hurr burr argument.

He respects her space, and so does she.  Honestly before the arc leading up to the name reveal she never nagged him about who he was, Tim just would blab to her because, as I mentioned, she’s a good listener with an outsider’s perspective and Tim would often slip up and let things slide like Ari or his friends or even Bruce. The more he did this the more Steph grew head over heels for him.  This boy?  This brave, gentle, kind, earnest boy chose her.  And he can’t tell her everything though it’s obvious he really wants to… so she’ll listen, and be what she can for him.

Listen, I love them both because it’s two teenagers who have grown up in emotionally difficult circumstances, either through outright abuse or neglect, finding out what it’s like to be in love with someone who loves you back for the first time and neither of them are very good at accepting that fact, and Steph’s insecurities get the better of her to the point where, yes, it does wreck the relationship, and by the time she works her way through them and pays the city back for what happened during the gang war Tim has started to emotionally shut down.  And that’s heartbreaking for them, as Tim wants to be with her but she sees someone who just isn’t stable or open enough to see it through.

And yet, she gets through to him every time, and he knows he can call on her for help.  And then in Convergence it’s still Steph saying “Look you have to talk to me, please.” and Tim providing her with a physical comfort she can’t find elsewhere. 

Post reboot it’s just two teenagers completely head over heels for the other and even then it’s because the two of them are one hundred percent supportive of the other and Steph sees Tim a legit madman who’s her best hope of helping people whilst also having a much better life then what her parents would have given her and Tim is so head over heels for her he drops Cassandra ‘literal demigoddess’ Sandsmark in favour of this homeless hobo girl who: a) probably hadn’t had the chance to shower in days and b) punched Owlman in the face screaming that she was Batman.  What a legend. I would go full heart eyes too for her.

The tragedy for both of them is that they kind of want that white picket fence life, they want to be selfish.  But they can’t ever turn away from people that need them and that’s kind of what I love best about them.  They’re just two people who want to do well by others.  How can I not love them? 

#dc #ask and i'll babble #timsteph #tim drake #stephanie brown #Anonymous #timsteph meta

[mooncircuses]

in sweet magnolias my gay ass cannot stop seeing the rivals to friends to lovers au play out and i may be overanalyzing but jackson and tyler? fuckin. thats not straight...if u are rivals and hate each other why do u interact in the ways u do...look at each other like that??? sacrifice things like that..

jackson is not a great person. some stuff he does i think can be argued was a way to help tyler but still be the annoying rival/teammate there. and in general we know they care abt each other, its just not addressed into anything more than their rival status between them.

personally i think jackson is in deep w internalized homophobia and i think its a common trope with asshole gay jocks in media and the backstory they’re creating for him. it makes sense. he has a bad family life, he doesnt feel good enough, he’s constantly compared to tyler (..and yet still is attentive to his feelings even if he’s the one making him angry/upset/etc.) its a hard dynamic to work through since theyve been rivals since they were babies. theres the overarching forbiddenness of being anything with each other..other than rivals bc of the parent history bc rivals is what’s “expected” of them. i think.

i mean. i hope im not reading into this because it could become a really great storyline esp sine the writing on this show and the small things in the acting and directing are so meaningful. i know annie and tyler are the ship thats common right now, and i honestly see them as nothing but sibling relationship. he never has fondness on his face when he looks at her. it is literally the protective older brother look/check in that he has taken upon himself (for who know how long, but at least since his dad left). its not romantic with her and its clearly not romantic with cece. why is he still with her if the things with annie already blew over? i think cece’s a beard. not necessarily intentionally but maybe intentionally. even though his character is allowed to dismiss toxic masculinty in areas (which, amazing to show that) it doesnt mean he doesnt have internalized homophobia. and the way this town is close knit and everyone knows everyone and u probably marry high school sweethearts and everyone talks abt what’s different, being gay for sure would make people gossip (bad or good) when its not their info to share. so cece is on his arm kinda as backup? or failsafe in case someone is getting close to finding out he’s gay? we can see this: when jackson comes to tyler and gets very very touchy and flirty and stares in his eyes and they both glance at each others lips, tyler pushes jackson and gets touchier with cece (more than we’ve literally ever seen). and he then goes on the defensive bc he is sick of jackson coming in between him and cece and in general, tyler’s own life. (hmm?).

anyway! jackson could get a redemption arc. i think he should. his outright rude meanness should not be excused though. if the show makes a relationship out of that without talking its not a healthy one. we see the harsher banter between them but its still banter-they laugh in the interactions, smile, its not a problem. but jackson does do stuff and says stuff that creates way more harm than he probably realized and its why he’s so lowkey in those situations and is still smiley and sometimes continues. yes, jackson wants attention and a reaction. and this needs to be addressed because he cant ever be redeemed if he doesnt change. the banter is fine, but the “taking it too far and not realizing exactly what he’s done before its too late” is not. and i have hopes of jackson’s character being developed more because if he’s just here to show how tyler deals with things, they didnt need to make a backstory abt them or make jackson the person that is showing us how tyler is dealing with things- they couldve made random players, other characters, or even jackson as not the only one. which makes jackson stand out at this point and they gave him backstory so i dont think he’s just a plot device character like a lot of the characters are.

also... i love rivals to friends to lovers aus with my entire soul bc when theyre actually done properly and followed through on they are always amazing because it forces gradual building and doesnt skip steps and actually develops the characters in depth (both!!) and their feelings for each other too (it has to, and with this build it is realistic even though not everyone falls in love this way..it forces the writers to showcase an actually good relationship bc they have to spend time on it). so. it seems like thats whats being set up because why else would they create a rivals characters with complex relationships with each other if they werent going to turn it into anything more?

#sweet magnolias #netflix #tyler townsend #jackson lewis #gay #tyler x jackson #jackson x tyler #tyson #? #uh #jackler #idk #gay tyler townsend