#but dreams without goals are just dreams

[wotchergiorgia]

I could not know how tomorrow looks like, the mood I’ll get up to or the people who’ll talk to me. I could try and guess, shoot my shot and make a try. see what happens next and plan nothing. I could not know what the next few seconds hold for me, but I perfectly know what’s going to happen on this day in a year. I woke up this morning and felt my heart skipping a beat - 18th of october. a date that just a year ago meant absolutely nothing to me. a still meaningless day for most people out here. and yet, in a year, today, I’ll have sat down at a desk and got nearer to my future. in a year, today, all the studying, all the efforts I’m now doing will partly be put down on paper and sat aside for a month or two, closed in a drawer no one knows about. part of my future will be determined by this day in a year. what a responsibility! shivers down my spine thinking about it. there’s still so much I need to do, not enough time to do everything and to be everything, but somehow I’m managing to cope with it, get through it and work well on the fundamentals. building up a future for yourself no one, with a few exceptions, knows about is hard and overwhelming and it makes you busy. but, gosh, the satisfaction will be worth it all.

#university of oxford #university #planning #study together #student motivation #study buddy #study study study #studying #studyblr #but dreams without goals are just dreams #bmat test #bmat #ucat #ucas #application #open day #uk universities #uni #writing #test

[lovegami]

if you’re struggling to get off your phone, make your phone boring to be on.

the reason most of us are stuck on our phone scrolling for hours is because we are “bored” elsewhere in our life.

so we fill our time by using social media, games and other apps to entertain ourselves when, in fact, a lot of the time we are not fully entertained in the end.

i’m sure you know the sick and drained feeling you get after mindlessly scrolling for three hours straight. if you want it to stop, you need to stop giving into the screen and to stop giving into the screen, you need to take the power away from the screen.

so make your phone boring. delete your apps. time spent on social medias like tiktok, instagram, youtube etc can be reduced significantly just by deleting the app, or by adding an app timer. it’s the same with games or any other apps that are eating up your time and energy and giving nothing in return.

this is bound to be difficult given how greatly we rely on phones and social media. we’re “addicted” but it doesn’t need to stay that way.

so if you want to be on your phone less, my homework for you is to delete an app, any app that you know is a major distraction to you. if it’s too difficult to go cold turkey, then add an app timer and gradually reduce the time limits until you no longer feel like you rely on the app. you can do it!

#i just deleted instagram which i haven’t been able to live without for 6 years! #so you can do it too! #level up #glow up #self improvement #self development #personal growth #self love #self care #level up journey #dream girl #dream girl journey #it girl #girlblogging #goals #goalsetting #self discipline #♡ — notes

[moonpaw]

people who actually believe that theory that usopp will die to prove he's a brave warrior of the sea is so ridiculous when oda can't even kill a giant who was in a flashback 22 years ago

#one piece #one piece spoilers #one piece 1066 #egghead spoilers #if it wasnt for the fact that ace's fruit respawned i wouldve doubted all this time he was probably still alive even with a hole in his #chest #wano was kinda different but even then the characters that died were like. side ones and not as impactful #and even when they did my reaction was so delayed because i was sitting there like: ok so when does he get back up i know he's gonna #then the graves are shown and i was just like ''ohhhh you were serious. they actually died oops'' #theres absolutely no way oda would kill a STRAWHAT #a main character #and for sure not usopp who has the best character development in the entire series lmao #i would say usopp's dream already came true but i think it will for sure when he goes to elbaf #that's been his goal his little garden and i cant wait for him to see it #but yeah this is a happy little pirate anime and as luffy keeps saying #he can't become the pirate king without his whole crew #ok maybe saul isnt a good example here when he's gonna be important/already is important #but i can list so many others: lolas dad; bon clay; that mudman's brother and crew; enel?? literally?? shouldve DROWNED? #kalifa by all means SHOULD be dead at the bottom of the waterfall but i think that was just an oversight by oda #(she was on the upper level of the tower of justice when it fell0 #who else. i know theres more #you get it though

[caffeinatedopossum]

I'm still grieving the dreams I lost due to my disability and I just added another one

#ones id already lost: wanting to hold any job at all. wanting to be a doctor. wanting to be a gymnast. wanting to play bass #wanting to be a therapist (maybe still possible? this is due to my inability to hold any job but im still hopeful i may be able to do this) #i wanted to go to school... i can still learn things of course but its harder and there's no community #i wanted to learn everything. everything about plants and animals and quantum mechanics and languages #everything about history and culture and sciences. but i can't. i mean that was never a realistic goal of course #but I cant get as close to it now as i wouldve if i was healthy #the one i recently added is discovering my fingers have deteriorated so much that playing keyboard is nearly impossible #thats been a lifelong dream of mine... even drawing hurts unless i draw with my finger. i cant hold a pencil without pain #like im figuring things out. working through accommodations and making new goals #but that grief is still there and the wound is still fresh and sometimes it just feels like its growing and it will never stop #i need too much that i cant have. I have so few options #i really dont know what kind of future there is for me if my pain and disability is already this bad in my 20s

[habits-white-rabbit]

Every time I see someone use Purple Haze Feedback for 'UwU FuGio real!!' or paint Giorno as a coldhearted sadistic master manipulator I feel myself coming closer and closer to snapping

#theskinwalkerqueenspeaks #granted i don't like fugio #i don't see a problem with the ship it's just not my personal otp #hell sometimes i see really good fugio art or fic stuff and i go 'y'know what fuck yeah that slaps'!!! i'm not a fugio hater #but the entire point of purple haze feedback was not to be endgame ship material #i'm also not saying that you couldn't use that to back up your ship but if that is the only thing you got out of it you should take a step #back from fandom and shipping culture bc you should be able to interact with a piece of media without thinking 'how can i ship this' #also giorno is a deeply traumatized teenager he ain't manipulating the mafia that easily lmfao #that one goes out to the crowd who think that giorno only told bruno what he wanted to hear #which is bullshit in itself because he hadn't even heard of bruno prior how the hell would he pull 'oh yeah same i hate drugs too' #out of his ass without knowing bruno and without bruno ever saying that he hated passione's involvement in the drug trade #it's a huge leap #also!! #giorno went out of his way more than once to try to keep his team alive and at the cost of not achieving his dream at that #those are not the actions of someone who doesn't care who lives or dies as long as his goals are met #you all need to rewatch the series and reassess how you see characters because holy fuck you missed so many gods damn points #rant over

[iregretdoing]

"You belong to me."

"Those who die on the battlefield are not royalty, nobility, or commoners. They are the defeated, who die."

"I feel no responsibility to comrades who've lost lives under my command. Because they chose to fight in each battle.. Just as I chose this. But if there is something that... I can do for them. Something I can do for the dead... Then it is to win. I must keep winning to attain my dream. To realize my dream, I will perch on top of their corpses.. It is a blood-smeared dream, after all. I don't regret or feel guilty about it."

"Do I need to give you a reason each time I risk my life for your sake?"

"While many can pursue their dreams in solitude, other dreams are like great storms blowing hundreds, even thousands of dreams apart in their wake. Dreams breathe life into men and can cage them in suffering. Men live and die by their dreams. But long after they have been abandoned they still smolder deep in men's hearts. Some see nothing more than life and death. They are dead, for they have no dreams."

"In this world, some people born are like keys that move the world and exist having no connection to the social hierarchy established by man."

"It is my perception, that a true friend never relies on another's dream. A person with the potential to be my true friend, must be able to find his reason for life without my help. And, he would have to put his heart and soul into protecting his dream. He would never hesitate to fight for his dream, even against me. For me, a true friend is one who stands equal on those terms."

Among thousands of comrades and ten thousand enemies, only you... only you made me forget everything that I wanted.

"I'd dream, that on nights of the full moon, I'd become a small child and find myself embraced with a nostalgic warmth... But... When I wake from the dream... All that remains is a vague sense of longing...

And that, too, soon fades away - along with a single tear, like morning dew."

#griffith #berserk 1997 #berserk #kentaro miura #guts berserk #guts #there's such poetry to Griffith #he lived for nothing but his dream - taking actions that made him disgusted and hate himself #watching the corpses pile up he let it happen because they dedicated themselves to his dream just as he did #since his dream already cost their lives he knew he couldn’t let it go #and then... he met the one person that made him forget everything he had dedicated his life for #and they LEFT him without even saying why #the loss consumed him so much that he ruined all chance of ever achieving his goals #and then was like totured for two years straight because of it... #and then when hes finally saved from it.. its by the very person who betrayed him. #doesnt even have a tounge to speak with or a way to kill himself at that point #and its then hes offered a sacrifice. #damn everyone you ever loved to hell #let go of every last remnant of your humanity. and we'll make your a dream a reality #no humanity left - his dream was achieved. he loves nothing now - and when he sees his friend again... all he can feel is an echo #an echo of forgotten longing.

[01tsubomi]

i'm taking the jlpt this sunday and had a stress dream last night abt it bc it sort of snuck up on me and now it's kind of a question of how much my actual japanese abilities will carry me (versus if i should've been cramming on flashcards this past month) but the listening portion is far simpler conversation than my coworkers and i have so. i think that maybe instead of "damn i should've been studying japanese" my perspective should just be "i speak japanese"

#a key part of the dream though was that i failed because i went on a motorcycle joyride during the 40 minute break and didn't make it back #in time for the listening section. the prompt for the listening section btw was to write an essay in english about kirishima eijirou #so i was like damn i would've totally passed #anyway hashtag classic maya but idk #i think i have a bit of a complex abt it bc i was studying for n1 (highest level) in college #but w the switch to online learning we stopped studying the stuff i really needed to work on (vocab and kanji) #and whatever kanji i knew how to write went out the window bc i never had to turn in written homework again #so i really let myself go there for a good two years but since moving last summer i've not only been having japanese conversations every da #i've also actually been studying kanji in my downtime at work #so i have picked up most of the study guide-type information just really slowly over time #i read a ton of manga in japanese lately and most shows on netflix here don't have eng subtitles but i'm fine without them 95% of the time #with the genre of shows i watch at least #so i've been thinking a lot lately abt what my end goal is w japanese studies because 'be able to consume all the art i want' feels like #a good place to be #i do think in the end the only thing between me and n1 is a lot of genuine hard work studying vocab and kanji and reading serious articles #so i feel like all 'sekkaku da shi' i've made it this far why would i just stop working at this point #those are just my thoughts though aaaa i know reading/vocab/grammar section is way more hit or miss #personal

[monster42069]

Getting a good hit of indica that’s a little stronger than vapes I had last time after I ran out of my indica is Hallelujah Praise The LORD and that kid with ADHD

#… #I need indica or antipsychotics both to function. an upper and a downer of some sorts. stimulate then depress. over and over again. daily. #TBH one of the dreams/goals that I still haven’t let myself let go of despite knowing the stats and likelihoods of the outcomes…. #well anyway one of those dreams is to somehow fix this. to meet a doctor who has a treatment plan or life change idea that works on the drug #dependency / the ‘maybe’ acquired brain injury issues. #the ‘is this idiopathic narcolepsy or is this ABI from drs or would you consider this probable narcolepsy from ABI from drs or?’ issues. #the ‘it’s harder to put together a clear understanding of your health overall’ comments followed by silence bc they don’t need to say it lol #it’s hard because no one has known what my health ‘should’ be like. know one has any labs without me on psychotropic medication combos. #they have partial proof from brain scans for the conclusion that my brain was just .fried to deal with me/make me easy and good. didn’t work #and they don’t even need proof to know that medication combos in their own profession shouldn’t be used together or are only used together #in extreme cases with no options left that they immediately fucking jumped into and were lucky I didn’t DIE so many times but fuck yeah #now my brain hurts and I’m not how I was beforehand but don’t rlly know why or how to express it #and I feel alone there and then I have bitch ass doctors telling me to Just Stop The Meds For A Fee Weeks :-)! …..Dr u have no idea huh do u #a few weeks? give me 3 days before I’m having a psychotic episode that’s severe enough to warrant police arrest or 911 called for me. #that’s thousands of dollars in a legal psychiatric hold. and that’s if someone catches the signs on time before I potentially harm myself or #like yeah no I’m sorry doc but i can’t just Simply Stop or Substitute anti-anxiety drugs when I’ve had them holding me together b4 puberty. #anyway I’m still. hoping I’ll find some info somewhere or stories and people like me who figured something out or anything idk #because my medical testing is interfered by medications that I cannot stop taking (mainly benzodiazepines) without losing my mind now. bad.

[telvani]

Housekeeping

I was intending to eventually come back to this account, but it's been 3 years and I don't feel any more inclined to return to tumblr.

I guess this is an official memo to say that this blog is dead, it will not be revisited, and nothing more will be posted.

If by some happenstance people still remember me/want to see my art (I'm making bits and pieces once in a while, less fandom, more original and ethnographic), you can find me on instagram at zosiagabriela. If we were mutuals, you can ask for steam/discord/reddit (you can message on here but I'm more likely to see it on ig).

Hope everybody is doing well and enjoying baldur's gate💖

#and i'm all good tumblr just makes me anxious and it's been nice without it #i work in a library now i.e living the dream #got rid of the fringe and finally had surgery #and am Figuring Shit Out re: health and goals #p.s play roadwarden it's good #ok bye over and out

[prudencepaccard]

didn't get cast in ensemble. they did cast a girl at callbacks I literally taught the harmony to though. fucked up

#spent a year thinking about the audition #have actively waited for an opportunity to audition for at least seven years #show on my radar for at least 14 #love to be good enough at the audition that they call you back and then have them be like #actually never mind we don't want your voice even with the other voices. #we have no place for your body on stage with the other bodies #this is what I was afraid of. this is why as soon as it was announced like two years ago this might be produced I was as #stressed as I was excited. #it's not about ego or rejection it's just about getting to do a dream there aren't many chances to fulfill. I just get fixations you know? #rehearsals start tonight without me! #only thing helping me hold onto my sanity is an inside source telling me that the director is horrible #it's hard for grapes to be sour enough for me to not to hurt bad bad bad #but it takes away a little bit of the grief #as does the fact that a friend has the kindness to try and comfort me like that #mensch behavior #I have othr things to look forward to this was just high stakes you know #not a lot of chances. dependent on others to provide chances. autistic hyperfixation on little scraps of the score #most passionate out of anyone who auditioned for sure #and I'm not even bad #I fucked up at callbacks a little but I was hoping they wouldn't be insane about it #but holding my breath until I could get the relief of knowing I was in #which would also have been incredible news in other ways too––being in any show has been a long-term goal and I would be like okay I've hit #that milestoone and should actually invest in a headshot #but I guess not!!!!!! #going to try and not be angry at myself though #I'm good and will throw myself into my work #which I have much to do of and talent to apply to

[arimabari]

revisiting Fallout 4 cause its been a hot minute but man. Does anyone else think the Commonwealth should’ve been a lot more dangerous to match the stakes the game kept trying to raise. 

#Fallout #Fallout 4 #every day I dream of a Commonwealth that is just a complete and utter war zone that justifies Brotherhood intervention #and gives a justifiable reason for the Minutemens existence #like I'm talking impossible to survive without at least one companion at your side kind of dangerous #I also just want the Institute to be more of a menace to society than they really are #like imagine an Institute that wants to just completely wipe out the Commonwealth and replace them with robots #Give me settlements that are outright hostile to each other that you have to bring together for a common goal #give me a diamond city that's like New Vegas where VERY few people are actually allowed in because its the only utopia in all of Boston #make Goodneighbor sleezier but more open to the common man #overall just make the commonwealth a shitty uninhabitable place to justify why you need to help people instead of JUST finding your son

[outeremissary]

Poll about creating characters for a game really has me thinking about my methods because while I don't usually situate a character in the world/create a full backstory beforehand I feel like I need such a strong sense of who a character is, how they behave, and at least the skeleton of why they behave like that that I usually get bored and feel like I'm playing some flat nothing when I don't have that. I guess that isn't the same as having a fully rigid concept, especially since I'm happy to change things radically in conversation with a game when it's going well, but it's still enough of a distinct Guy Who Already Exists In My Brain I couldn't call it a loose concept. And usually when things go well for my looser concept characters and I develop them during a playthrough I just hit a point partway through where it's like... cool! I have completed the concept for this character now, I can stop playing and relocate them to a Real Story. They almost never feel like they fit right until they're in something where they're starting from that state, haha. I'm like this with tabletop stuff as well. I'm not always the ten page backstory guy but if I'm not at least coming in with some needlessly complex portrait of personality the character is not going to stick for more than a oneshot. Just doesn't interest me to play! I don't feel like I'm seeing through their eyes yet. Can't get in the right zone mentally. I think that's what it's really about for me- a loose concept is rarely immersive, and without that immersion I just struggle to feel like the actions are coming from the character instead of me and come together into a cohesive story about the character (rather than one about me pushing buttons).

#I think it's also not true for me that rigid concepts are less likely to click correctly with a game's tone than loose ones #my most successful PoE1 run had a loose defined-as-I-went character I quite liked who developed swiftly into someone who sucked for POE1 #she just did not fit the game at all and it was hard to interact with the world through her. and she was made by playing the game! #her whole concept emerged from early game dialogue! #but partway through it was like hmm I gotta pull kiryana out of this she doesn't belong and right now she can't tell a good story here #felt hard to RP her in that game. #she's a success story though I couldn't tell you anything about half of my dao characters they were totally unmemorable for me #maybe the winning sauce for the loose ideas is that I need to find something specific to keep building on very quickly after starting #for kiryana it was her intense romanticism. for kasander it was a stubborn and radical (but not naive) optimism. #for my brosca it was the gap between her dreams of heroism and rough lived experiences. #when I think about it the thing all of these have in common is games that provided early opportunities for interaction with personal past #the origin in dao. the talk about goals and reasons in poe1. the emergence of durge... durge-ness. #makes it feel grounded without needing to do all the grounding. anchors a character. starts the conversation with the game properly. #(although I've also had plenty of dao and poe1 characters who still didn't inspire enough to feel anchored...) #you guys who do multiple playthroughs to iterate on what was only the lightest concept at first are so strong lmao #I can't do that. not in the same game. if they weren't compelling to me in it the first time there will absolutely not be a second. #this is a TRUE rambling post good god. just wanted to get thoughts out of my head and procrastinate on getting out of bed for Tasks #rambling

[acaciapines]

nano day nineteen

words today: 3047

words total: 42967

more good progress today! realized how hard it is to write a conversation between two people who do not speak the other's language! usually whenever i write firefly talking to people its either in her pov (she tends to understand others better than they understand her) or its like, eda, king, or luzmari. eda who is soul-bound to firefly. king who can See Dust and thus lowkey read minds to an extent. and luzmari who is. well she doesnt have any special power shes just lived w firefly for long enough to understand.

needless to say the collector is Not good at owlspeak. they will be one day! but that day is not today.

its always so fun when the characters sort of run away from you. king and the collector weren't going to start fighting until the last chapter--but they certainly disagreed! so now the fight's started sooner, which is good overall, i think--i've still got the big whammy saved up for that last chapter, and they've spent the entire story drifting apart. its a good way to kick off the final third of this fic.

my favorite part of what i wrote today:

“Quite frankly,” King says, and he shrugs them off, “I don’t even think you understand that you’ve doomed the entire Isles.” He recoils, and his head stings as though King clawed him, but there’s no wounds he can see. Still he doesn’t remember how to breathe. The world is blurry at the edges. King’s stardust is so far away and thundering. “I—” Their words catch in their throat. “What did I do?” “You aided Belos!” He looks so much like his dad. With the snarl ‘n the anger ‘n the way he towers over them, ‘n they cower back further, wanna bare their teeth but it’s all blunt so what good would that do? “Without you, Belos’s would’ve never been able to start the coven system! To cut down all the palistrom trees! You talk a whole lot about missing how things were when you’re the reason they aren’t like that anymore!” “He said he would free me!” “Oh,” King snaps, and his eyes cut right to the center of them, piercing, “and you believed him?” “I don’t.” Everything is going fuzzy. They keep blinking to keep how many Kings there are straight. “I was trapped. I didn’t wanna be trapped! I didn’t do anything to be trapped! I just—I just, I was good good good and your stupid dad trapped me! So it’s his fault!” “Somehow,” King says, “I really doubt you did nothing.”

#nanoblogging #chatter #my favorite part about this argument is how neither of them are wrong <3 #the collector did help belos doom the world. without them theres no coven system or draining spell #and belos wouldnt STOP his goal of Killing All Witches but it sure would not have been as effective #(probably woulda still happened tho. the collector gave sigils + draining spell but Palistrom Tree Murder was a belos original) #but!!! the collector was also trapped!! for no reason!! and it fucked him up BAD! #kings dad overreacted and doomed the collector to this awful life where he had no contact w the outside world #and no contact with DUST which is. lets just say. very important to becoming a Person #and with that on top of his siblings who very much do not see mortals as people.... #not of course that king and the collector know this lol <3 #the eight year olds are fighting..... #this isnt even the most devastating. im saving that for the end. oh ho ho its BAD #but we gotta get to watching and dreaming somehow!! #sorry the collector is my favorite owl house character okay #just. i love them <3 #and a grove of palistrom to you

[jp0119]

#He loves me differently #he sees the fire inside me #he understands my riddles #he understands my seasons #he gives me my space when I need it. #he gives me my silence when I need to think. #he lets me share my words #he knows my life journal #yet! he still loves me. #he has a grasp of understanding to all my reasonings. #he sees I get in a certain way #that I just don’t like anything including my self #thats when he pulls me close #he is a piece of my Universe that is meant to settle in. #he gives me my wings and lets me fly. #he encourages my dreams and goals and celebrates my wins #and without an ounce of jealousy.

[scorpiusmalfoylovesoscarwilde]

if I were an animagus, especially a cat, I would literally never turn back, would not even consider it.

like, I'm just gonna walk into someone's house and get adopted for life, goodbye 🚶‍♂️🐈‍⬛️

#this is actually my life goal #i dont have a dream job i just want to live as a cat permenantly #hope this hypothetical family is ready for a cat that lives a suspiciously long time #harry potter #hp universe #animagus #pulling a peter pettigrew but without the murder and betrayal hopefully

[teabookgremlin]

first year of college down let’s go

#it does feel very anticlimactic to finish the year with an exam that took me 15 minutes but still #i did it! #honestly the fact that this time 4 years ago i was literally dying from anorexia and now i’m happy and healthy and pursuing my goals #is just so exciting for me #like i’m at my dream school #studying animal science #training a service dog #a bit lonely but working on making more friends #i usually get in 3 meals a day plus snacks without anyone watching to make sure i do #15 year old me would be so happy to see me now #like knowing that there was a point where i wasn’t sure if i’d make it through high school #and now i’m here #doing my thing #my determination paid off #idk i’m just very happy