#but from a character analysis perspective I do think it's relevant

[thought-42]

A thing I keep coming back to when thinking about Calamity is how, in another story, Zerxus and Laerryn would have been heros. Like we talk about villain-coding our characters but in some cases that can be so dependant on what the in-story environment is and also what genre they exist in. Zerxus, especially-- I feel like in young adult fiction and nineties/2000s sci-fi movies, the whole point of the narreative was demonstrating that large systems/institutions cannot be trusted, especially those that provide you with one narrative that you're meant to adopt as your history and is meant to inform your entire belief system. If Zerxus had done exactly what he'd done in a dystopian novel/movie, listened to someone who society told him was bad, didn't fully trust him but gave him an opportunity? He'd be the change agent that revealed the dark truths of his society and we'd all be cheering for him. Laerryn I would not call a hero in a different context, but I also have a hard time reading her as a villain even within the canon (but I'm biased). What I will say, is do we all remember that Star Trek (or similar space opera show of your choice) episode where the secret project that somebody was working on saved the day? Or countless pieces of media where acting instantly and thoughtlessly to save someone you care about is romanticized? Yeah. Anyway, disclaimers, this is purely my own reading of the text, I'm probably wrong, I am not in any way saying that what they did didn't have horrific consequences. I am just saying that if we scooped up at least half of the Calamity gang and plunked them down in a different genre and they took the same actions, they'd be the good guys without question.

#critical role #zerxus ilerez #there are a million other things I could say but I didn't want this post to be twenty pages #Zerxus was specifically targeted! #neither Laerryn or Zerxus did what they did with the intention to cause harm to people #and obviously intent doesn't help when the realities of the consequence is harm #but from a character analysis perspective I do think it's relevant #Asmodeus played Zerxus like a casio keyboard and it's painful to watch #anyway secondary disclaimer my h key doesn't get paid enough for this and works only when it feels like it; apologies if I missed any typos #there's a reality where Evandrin lives and the Alterra Porco Okiro Coramar-Seelie block slides much faster into conspiracy and treason #an evil au where the night of the solstice is also the night of a very dramatic coup announced at Patia's party #laerryn coramar seelie #cr exu tag

[befuddledcinnamonroll]

Top 10 Things I Love About the QL Tumblr Community 2023

I'm loving everyone's end of year lists, and decided to make up one of my own.

I haven't been on Tumblr for very long and was originally just lurking. 2023 marks the year where I finally started posting, after I read a take that made me feel compelled to come to a fictional character's defense. (Saengtai, my poor little blorbo).

So in commemoration of my first proper year of active tumblring, I present what I love about this community (in no particular order).

(Side note - Technically I know this is still primarily a BL community, but I like to say QL because I am trying to manifest more lesbians for us.)

1) The Gifmakers

Y'all are a good 70% of the reason I joined Tumblr in the first place. There are so many show moments that I want to relive, but without having to search through videos. Sometimes I want to appreciate the aesthetics. Sometimes I want to remember adorable or goofy moments. Sometimes I just want to see cute boys eating each other's faces. Our gifmakers give all of that to us, with the addition of so much creativity and style.

There's too many amazing ones to mention everyone, but I have to shout out @sparklyeyedhimbo, because the way your brain works makes me so happy.

2) The expertise

The other part of why I joined Tumblr was to learn more about what BLs were out there and what I might be missing. And holy hell. Y'all are putting in the work. Not only lists and resources for finding all kinds of QLs, like these fabulous monthly breakdowns by @gunsatthaphan, but also amazing posts that add additional context, like @absolutebl's incredibly helpful breakdown of Asian honorifics. There is so much research people do, for fun! And then they share it!

3) The meta analysis

I frickin love reading people's takes and analyses on series. I love learning, I love seeing perspectives from people with different cultural backgrounds to my own, it's all so fascinating! There's so much context we can miss due to our own privileges, or lack of knowing about various cultures, or due to whatever bubbles we've been living in. People here are just so smart, and nuanced, and willing to reflect and think about things, and also push back at each other, but generally with respect (except when you call out the dumb shit you see, usually on Twitter or TikTok, where people are being reductive and dumb about gender and sexuality).

And I've seen a few takes where people complain about analyses, and say that the director/production doesn't do everything deliberately, and we're all reading too much into it. To which I say, eh, lighten up. How people connect to and relate to media has relevance beyond what was intended. The point is we get to think and discuss and learn and grow. That doesn't happen if we don't analyze.

Special shout out here to @respectthepetty because colors mean things!

4) The wild theories

The other side of the analysis coin, the clown cars y'all drive around in with the wildest of theories. I have happily climbed into an occasional clown car, and usually I am utterly wrong (*cough* Saifah *cough*). But it's a super fun ride. I love seeing how people's brains work. I love it when y'all are wrong. I love it when y'all are right. It's beautiful.

5) Immediate acceptance

I am one of those people who knows that I have a lot of good qualities, and also, always kind of expect rejection. Blame the childhood bullies, I guess. Anyway, whenever I delve into a new space, I still feel like a total dork that no one will want to talk to. It's kind of a fraught way to move through the world, but I manage.

Anyway, I started posting my thoughts as they came up, and people are just totally cool with it. People even follow me sometimes. Even my silliest thoughts and dumbest jokes get at least a couple likes. It's so validating.

And my very silly joke about gay mafia in Kiseki has over 800 likes. I feel very seen.

6) Mutuals

I still kind of can't believe I have any. This ties in to the dork feeling above, but seriously - they are soooo cooooool. They're smart and awesome and funny, and they somehow find me worth following back, which is baffling yet wonderful. I want to squish their faces and give them many kisses (if they're into that kind of thing).

7) The self-exploration

I really appreciate how it's become more talked about how a lot of people are discovering queerness through BL, because that is so the case for me. I think it's both that I was in a bit of a hetero bubble before, and also that I'm evolving a bit as I age. I had figured out I was demi, and maybe a little bit gay, before getting in to BL, but being in this community, and seeing so many of you share so openly and freely, has made me realize it might be more than a little bit.

Either it was a new realization, or being around y'all has made me more gay. Win win, either way.

8) The weirdness

I'm weird. Y'all are weird. I love it.

9) The thirst

So many in this community are thirsty as fuck, and as someone who is in that same condition, I love that it's not just me. There are not many places where I can freely admit how horny I am as a part of my general existence.

Here? I could post about wanting to lick some random BL actor's face, and it would get a bunch of likes and some tags like #lickable, and it's just not remotely a big deal.

Also the gifmakers understand this, and give us beautiful cuts of our spicy scenes. They are genuinely too good for us.

10) The communal watching experience

There is absolutely nothing like watching along with people in the community. It is so worth the torture of having to wait week to week for new episodes. Seeing the show trend, watching the theories fly fast and furious, or the way everyone collectively loses their minds over particular moments. In a world that can feel very isolating, it's a very warm experience.

So there you go. Thank you all for being you. Here's to another year of QL shenanigans and losing our collective minds!

#bl community #ql community #bl series #ql series #thai bl

[sleeplesssmoll]

Reverse 1999: Vertin Character Analysis and Theory

Vertin and the “Hidden Desire”

I'll be exploring the Gluttony Amplification Material and how it potentially relates to Vertin. Unlike the Psychubes, Gluttony is not a conclusion built upon Vertin’s thoughts and reflection. Instead, Gluttony is “a desire hidden in the depths”. I examined this under a mostly biblical lens because Reverse1999 loves to use Biblical references. Word Count 1600+

Relevant Background Information

Psychubes are an element of an arcanist's thoughts. They provide buffs/abilities. The more you ponder, the more you gain (in game description). Vertin can reflect and meditate in a process called pneuma analysis (resource stage) twice a day, where she acquires lesser Psychubes, Thought Elements, and Thoughts in Entirety. 

Thought Elements: an element of an arcanist’s thoughts. There are so many ways to organize the mess: the furnace that burns and the blade that cuts…but I wish to keep it the way it is.

Thoughts in Entirety: an arcanist’s complete thoughts. As the disorganized has been organized, the darkened vision lightens, ideas are finally taking shape in my mind.

These are the building blocks for greater ideas, which would be higher level Psychubes. On the Psychube page in the Atlas, you will also see the phrase word anamnesis. 

In Platonic philosophy, anamnesis is a process of rediscovering knowledge that the soul already possesses but has forgotten. Plato stated the soul has pre-existing knowledge that is brought back to consciousness through the process of questioning and recollection. However, in Christian and Catholic contexts, anamnesis is recollecting the “Passion, Resurrection, and Ascension of Jesus”. In other words, remembering Jesus’s sacrifice and honoring his memory (this is an oversimplification for the sake of brevity). In general, we can think of anamnesis as a profound reflection or recalling of events.

To summarize, the Psychubes interlap with Vertin's emotional state and have been cultivated by her experiences. She reflects, recollects, and creates stronger “impressions” (from the Psychubes). The definition for impression: an idea, feeling, or opinion about something or someone, especially one formed without conscious thought or on the basis of little evidence. These are all emotion/intuition based. Very fitting for an arcanist.

From a lore perspective, the Psychube Shop is a representation of Vertin’s mind as she turns her thoughts into Psychubes. The different prices represent the time and introspection needed to gather Vertin’s thoughts. She needs more complete thoughts (Thoughts in Entirety) in order to afford the stronger Psychubes, which means spending more time doing pneuma analysis (farming the stage). The lesser ideas are also the foundation of strong ones. In the game this is represented by engraving a Psychube to make it stronger. (Note: This is how I connected the game mechanics to the lore, but I'm open to other interpretations!)

Gluttony is not a Psychube and isn't listed in the Atlas. However, it consumes the most Thoughts in Entirety. The strongest Psychubes are worth 210, but Gluttony is a whopping 300. The Snake symbolizes “desire hidden in the depths.” It gorges on Vertin’s thoughts if she indulges it instead of a Psychube. However, if she allows Gluttony to devour her thoughts, she can amplify an existing Psychube. This could be interpreted as gaining a deeper understanding, but to get there she needs to get obsessed/fixated/focused. This is reflected in the large amount of thoughts she needs to invest in Gluttony before she can amplify her chosen Psychube.

But what exactly is Gluttony and why is it slithering around in Vertin’s soul? 

The Serpent and the Sin

Gluttony is represented by a snake, which we can also refer to as a serpent.

In the Bible, snakes are often associated with deception and temptation. The serpent in the Garden of Eden is commonly interpreted as a symbol of Satan tempting Eve to disobey God. Snakes also represent danger and evil.

In the biblical story of the Garden of Eden, the serpent tempts Eve to eat the forbidden fruit (Apple) from the Tree of Knowledge. The serpent challenges God's command, suggesting that eating the fruit will not lead to death but rather make Eve and Adam godlike, “knowing good and evil”. The serpent manipulates Eve, creating doubt about God's intentions and enticing her with the idea of gaining knowledge and wisdom. Eve eventually succumbs to the temptation, eats the forbidden fruit, and shares it with Adam. Their disobedience led to their expulsion from the Garden of Eden. The story is a lesson on disobedience and its consequences. The snake was also cursed by God to crawl on its belly and eat dust.

While snakes aren't evil in every context, keep this story in mind.

With the Snake symbolism established, we can look at the Sin.

The Seven Deadly Sins are Lust, Gluttony, Greed, Sloth, Wrath, Envy and Pride.

Going a step further, Lust, Gluttony, and Greed share a theme: excessive desire. People carrying these sins are deemed insatiable. 

Gluttony refers to excessive indulgence in food or drink. It involves overconsumption beyond what is necessary, often driven by an unrestrained appetite or desire for pleasure. It’s a sinful behavior due to its focus on self-indulgence and lack of moderation.

However, we haven’t seen any behavior to connect Vertin with Gluttony. In fact, she displays the exact opposite and reflects Gluttony’s counterpart: Temperance. Temperance is one of the Seven Virtues (opposite of Seven Sins). According to Wikipedia Temperance is the practice of moderation and voluntary self-restraint. It involves refraining from vengeful actions through mercy and forgiveness, avoiding arrogance through humility, and curbing excesses like luxury, overindulgence in food and drink, as well as managing rage through calmness. This is Vertin’s whole persona as the stoic Timekeeper. She asks for nothing, but is always ready to give. During Green Lake, we see her explicitly say things like she doesn’t have wishes because she already has everything she needs but she goes out of her way to fulfill other people’s desires.

So Why a Snake? Why use the term Gluttony? 

In Vertin’s case, I’d say a “hunger for knowledge” suits her. She wanted to know the outside world to the extent of letting herself get hurt in (electric fence and punishments from teachers) in the process. She craved more while everyone else obeyed the Foundation and stayed in their lane. Smoltin could never be satisfied within the Foundation’s walls.

While it’s true she had an insatiable curiosity, she is not Eve in this story.

She was the Serpent.

During the break away event, Vertin enticed the other children to disobey. She tempted them, just like the snake who tempted Eve. She challenged everything they knew the way the Snake planted doubts about God. The other children were swayed by her which ended up getting them Reversed. Now she is the Timekeeper, doomed to helplessly watch history repeat as she loses friends and allies. The snake was cursed to crawl on its belly, and she was cursed to brave the Storm as Eras end.

Maturity and trauma go hand in hand since children who experience trauma are forced to grow up faster than others. Vertin wanted “too much”, and look at where it got her. She has her own goals and desires of course, but Vertin doesn’t ask for much compared to her crew. Vertin is also a victim of other people’s greed like Constantine, and as of recently, Arcana. What if she’s afraid she’ll become like the people who hurt her and her friends? Who continue to hurt her physically and emotionally?

Gluttony could be what Vertin perceives as her sin. She could have a skewed perception of herself. She wants things like everyone else, but wanting things is “wrong.”  Wanting too much will make her hurt people. This is why Gluttony is part of her psyche along with the psychubes she manifests. It’s not a conclusion or idea she needs to come to because it's already coiled up in her mind. It lives there. To clarify Vertin has desires but chooses not to act on them. Its similar to not being able to control your emotions, but you can manage how they manifest to some degree.

The repression is intense.

“The snake is hissing to find its way. It is now clear where to go and what to bite. It opens its mouth, it protrudes its fangs, it sinks them into the prey.”

Fun fact, snakes are predators that can unhinge their jaws to eat their prey whole after they subdued them. It fits right into the concept of Gluttony. Idk how you want to interpret this but to me it shows someone who knows what they want, knows how to get what they want, and has the means to claim it without hesitance. Yet, Vertin doesn't indulge this part of her (Unlike Constantine and Arcana). What do you think? There are so many ways to interpret this!

TL;DR: Psychubes are linked to Vertin's emotions and experiences, cultivated through reflection and meditation in a process called pneuma analysis. Anamnesis, mentioned in the game's Atlas, connects to Platonic philosophy and Christian contexts, representing a profound recollection of events. Gluttony, symbolized by a snake, consumes Thoughts in Entirety, reflecting excessive desire and temptation akin to the biblical story of the serpent in the Garden of Eden. Despite Vertin's displayed Temperance, Gluttony resides in her heart. Her trauma represses many of her “hidden desires”.  The symbolism of Gluttony, both in the lore and game mechanics, adds depth to Vertin's character.

Disclaimer: there is also a serpent on the Insight Material “Fruit of Good and Evil” but that will be a discussion for another time because we’re focusing on Gluttony.

More Psychube Stuff:

#reverse 1999 #vertin #reverse 1999 theory #character analysis #religious imagery

[megyulmi]

➠ Sukuna, the ‘shunned’ child and the demonisation and worship of ‘unwanted’ children in Japanese folklore:

[long read. trigger warning: referenced folktales and practices depict themes of infanticide, religious rituals and child exorcism, demonisation and worship of children, ableism, suicide, implied sa, and period-typical outdated social views. they are not a representation of my personal beliefs. please read with caution.]

New revelations of Sukuna’s past in Chapter 257 made me look deeper into some of the tales and customs from Japanese folklore about children deemed ‘abominable’ in the eyes of society that I had previously noted down and I decided to share as I think they could offer a better insight into Sukuna as a character and what might have inspired Akutami Gege’s depiction of him.

It would be better to start with a bit of the social background of Japanese folklore. I will use the Emishi (an ancient ethnic group of people who lived in parts of Honshū, especially in the Tōhoku region) as an example, the oral tales of whom later blended with Shintō and Buddhist religious concepts and heavily influenced Japanese folklore. It is believed that many of their tales were shaped by the region’s difficult history of natural disasters, famines, and geographic isolation. In the Tōhoku region, infanticide was sometimes used as a form of ‘birth control’ due to repeated famines. The bodies of ‘unwanted children’ were often disposed of in rivers or lakes.

Another important source of such folklore is the city of Tōno in Iwate prefecture, known particularly for Kappa, tales of which could offer a good basis for the beginning of my intended analysis.

Kappa, a green, amphibious, child-like creature with a yellow beak for a mouth and a turtle shell on its back is one of the most popular Yōkai from Japanese folklore. Some researchers say that the darker aspects of Kappa tales in Tōhoku may be an echo of the region’s tragic history of famines and the high rates of infant mortality caused by a harsh climate, natural disasters, and the tax system that was paid in rice. Similarly, many people in Tōno (which is part of the Tōhoku region) believe that tragic history is one of the origins of the stories of Kappa. The Kappa of Tōno specifically are said to be red in colour rather than green, which may allude to the Japanese word for infant - akachan, which derives from aka, the word for red. From this perspective, Kappa are creatures born out of social challenges and disasters. They may not seem all too relevant to Sukuna, but the need to mention them will come up in the later part.

Moving on, at the beginning I mentioned that ‘unwanted children’ were often disposed of in the rivers and lakes, which is also found in the Japanese creation myth. I discussed the variations of the myth in this post about Sukuna previously (you do not need to read it for the moment, but please note that it has many variations), but somehow I did not mention their first ‘inadequate’ child. According to the myth, before they had Kagutsuchi, Izanagi and Izanami had a child as a result of their first attempt at a union, but the child, known as Hiruko (‘Leech Child’), was born deformed. The mistake was attributed to a ritual error on the part of Izanami, who, as a woman, should never have spoken first (i.e. initiated the union). Considering the child inadequate for a diety, they set him adrift in a boat in hopes he would die at the sea. This myth reflects how women and children who were born ‘different’ or seen unable to serve their ‘purpose’ were treated.

Continuing from the myth, Chapter 257 made me think of the tale of Katako, in which the protagonist is born half-human and half-oni. What is Sukuna’s true nature we cannot know for certain. We know he was a human once, but we do not know enough of his past to assume if there was more to him (how and why he as a human might have come to be called the King of Curses will be explained in the later part), but the tale still has the potential to give us insight into Sukuna and his mother’s relationship. The tale has various versions with different endings, but it generally could be summarised as follows:

[A long time ago, a man encountered a man-eating ogre (from here on referred to as oni) while working in the field. He told the oni how much he loved mochi (rice cake), jokingly adding that he could even trade his wife for it. Taking his casual banter seriously, the oni treated him to mochi. The man ate his favourite food to his fill and happily went home only to find that the oni had taken his wife in exchange for the treat. The man searched everywhere and finally found his wife on the island where the oni lived. The man and his wife managed to come back home with Katako (meaning ‘Half-Child’), a child born of his wife and the oni on the island. However, Katako was always ostracised by his human peers (in another version, it is said that he had an insatiable appetite for eating humans). At ten years old, tired of being ridiculed, he asked his mother ‘to cut the oni part of him into pieces’ when he died, and then committed suicide.]

In the tale, Katako’s relationship with his mother seems to be of trust. He is cast out of society by humans and despite his mother being one as well, he does not harbour hate for her, he trusts her enough to leave his final wish upon her. We do not know much about Sukuna’s relationship with his mother, but the manner he referred to her in the last chapter makes it seem that he also harbours no hostility toward her. This tale also shows how children deemed ‘different’ were treated.

In past ages, children, being considered closer to the gods and the Other World, also played the part of intermediary between humans and the gods in Japanese society. This task of mediation between two separate worlds fell to them because they were regarded as incomplete persons (until the age of seven it was considered uncertain whether they would live or return to the Other World: a belief related to the challenges indicated at the beginning). While considered sacred beings different in nature from adults, they were at the same time looked down upon and referred to as kodomo (where ~domo has a negative/belittling connotation), gaki (hungry ghost or demon; brat), or jari (lit. gravel).

Back in the day, people referred to the killing off of ‘unwanted children’ (mabiki or ‘culling’, a common old slang for infanticide) as ‘sending a child back’, and a dead child was given a special non-Buddhist funeral. The various rituals surrounding birth and the child’s upbringing were intended, through communication with the Other World, to transform the child into an earthly being. This aspect of the ritual made me think of Sukuna’s mask and how that part of his face resembles a burn scar (note: i am aware the nature of his ‘mask’ is still not clear and whether it is really one) in some of the official illustrations. It is known that rituals of purification included fire and water magic. Exorcism of demons, aversion of disasters, and other rituals for the removal of pollution were frequent. A katashiro (paper cut in the shape of a man) symbolising the disaster would be burned or floated down the river as well. Personally, I see the possibility of Sukuna’s scar (if it really happens to be one) being from one of such rituals.

Continuing, there is a term - Goryō used to refer to the spirits of those who had died violently (e.g. by murder or execution) and have become gods. It also included those who had died untimely deaths and therefore had been unable to fulfil their purpose in this world. Some notable gods such as Hachiman, Tenjin, and Tenno were once considered powerful Goryō. Great natural disasters and social unrest were attributed to them; rituals designed to appease them were performed, and a cult of such worship evolved. It was (usually) as a result of belief in Goryō that particular individuals came to be worshipped as gods. At times when public unrest threatened the social order, elements estranged or excluded from the ‘normal system/order’ were assigned the status of Goryō and worshipped as such. The cult was intended to purify and renew society. Manga has given us a similar glimpse of Sukuna’s past, where despite being feared (and despised), people were ready to serve him (and pray in his name) for their own well-being. I think Akutami intended to echo this very aspect of society through the scene.

I mentioned that children were considered closer to the gods and the Other World, but not all children were treated equally. One version of the origin of Kamadogami (additional post on the parallels between Sukuna and Kamadogami after Chapter 258) in the Tōhoku region is that he was an ‘ugly child’ from the Dragon Palace who had been killed and was thereafter worshipped at household hearths. Zashikiwarashi, who often inhabits old houses and is said to bring good fortune while he remains, is another household god in the shape of a child or, in another version, the spirit of an unwanted child who, having been killed off, became the guardian god of houses. I mentioned Hiruko at the beginning as well, who was set afloat on the boat in the sea. Despite that, he is in some Shintō shrines identified with Ebisu, the patron of fishermen and tradesmen. Their worship was for the purposes indicated in the previous abstract, to avoid their wrath. Sukuna has not been ‘killed off’ like these children were, but such worship shows us the general psyche of the public.

The ‘ugly child’ who appears in the story of the origin of Kamadogami has parallels in Yokenai, Untoku, Hyotoku, and Hanatarekozo, children who brought good fortune and prosperity to the house in return for offerings to the Watery World of kadomatsu (pine-branch gate decorations for the New Year) and firewood. But despite that, their ‘ugliness’ and names were used as an indication that these children did not belong to this world. It is important to note that socially inferior and rebellious beings were treated in the same manner (here is where the point connects to Sukuna, continued from the next part in depth). Such children were often associated with the colour red. For example, Zashikiwarashi is described as red-haired and red-faced. Kintaro, Shutendoji, and other children born in unusual circumstances (but may not have been considered an ‘ugly child’) and brought up in the mountain wilderness are also said to have had red bodies and were endowed with superhuman strength. I also mentioned that Kappa from Tōno were depicted as red. We see Sukuna often associated with the colour red, particularly, his eyes are red. I believe the above-mentioned could be the reason for that.

I indicated that socially inferior and rebellious beings were treated similarly in the previous part. The character Dō of Dōji (童子, meaning child) once meant ‘slave’, tattooed on the forehead, and was closely linked to notions of personal status. It signified one who was not a complete person and also one who had not yet been initiated, in other words, one who did not belong to the order of this world, one who was in this world but not of it. They were despised, feared, and avoided by ordinary people for their strange appearance and magical powers. In some cases they even formed separate ‘child’ villages (dōji mura), calling themselves ‘descendants of oni (demons)’. Since they played the role of demons during the rituals, they were shunned by the nobility as if they were real demons. Could this somehow connect to Sukuna’s title? I do believe there is a possibility this could have inspired his being as the King of Curses.

Personally, what we know of Sukuna and his past seems to echo these folktales and practices as the foundation of his character. He was a ‘Demon’ for being an ‘abominable’ child, but he was worshipped for this same reason as well. Whether he was born that way after eating his twin in the womb or something happened to him later in life cannot be known yet, but it is clear his ‘abominable’ appearance could have warranted the same treatment from society. It could also explain Kenjaku’s ‘fascination’ with him as a being. We do not know what relationship they had or how exactly they came to know each other, but there is clearly a reason why a being such as Sukuna would ‘work’ with them. We do not know much about Kenjaku either, but it could be possible that they (Kenjaku) once were either (1) one of those ‘priests’ who performed exorcism to purify ‘demon’ children or (2) someone who offered such children refuge (perhaps and more likely, for their own personal gain). It would also relate to the variations of Ryomen Sukuna’s story that inspired Akutami Gege.

[Disclaimer: This post does not intend to demonise Shintoism or Buddhism, but to tell folklore and practices for analytical purposes. Additionally, English is not my native language and this is only a personal interpretation as just another reader that I am sharing in case someone finds it interesting or can use the information for better analysis.]

#oh. ha. guess who zoned out and ended up with this huge info dump. #if anyone actually reads this i will be shocked. #this is probably the last one on sukuna. (watch me change my mind when something new is revealed next chapterㅋㅎ) #jjk #sukuna #jujutsu kaisen #ryomen sukuna #jjk spoilers #jjk analysis #jjk meta #ryoumen sukuna #jjk sukuna #sukuna ryomen #(which one is the actually used tagㅋㅎ)

[writingquestionsanswered]

Hi! I’ve noticed these days that my writing is struggling between sounding very formal and proper versus sounding casual. On one hand, I’ll have a sentence that looks like it came straight out of a 1940s British series, but two lines later there’s some casual dialogue that’s closer to an American teen novel. I grew up with both types of books tbh, so maybe that’s why? How do I stabilize my writing style and make it a little more consistent? Thank you!

Stabilizing Voice in Writing

There are three types of "voice" that play a role in how your writing sounds... authorial voice, narrative voice, and character voice.

Authorial voice is your writing style as an author. In many ways, it's your "writer personality." It's what makes your writing distinctive from another writer's. While authorial voice tends to be consistent across all stories, it will evolve with time and may even change slightly for particular projects--especially when crossing genres. Authorial voice includes things like how much/little description you use, how simple or ornate that description is, how you use word play, and the types of words you use. Narrative voice is the "voice/voices" with which the story is told. This is made up of point-of-view (the perspective from which the story is told, for example, first-person or third-person limited), as well as your writing style and use of language. Anything the narrator says falls under narrative voice.

Character voice is the way a character's personality comes through in the things they think and say. It includes things like whether they're concise or wordy when they speak, slang and catchphrases, quirks of speech like saying "um" or "uh" a lot, how their attitude is reflected in what they think and say, accent, and the kinds of words they use.

When you have a first-person narrator, narrative voice and character voice are combined, because the character's voice IS the narrative voice.

So, there are several quick exercises you can do if you want to stabilize the voice in your writing:

1 - Do a little analysis of your own writing style (so far). Remember: writing style is something that evolves over time, so you might not have a fully established writing style yet, but you should be able to look at what you write and start to see some patterns. In your case in particular, do you gravitate more toward formal speech than casual speech? Can you think of any writers whose style matches what you'd like your writing style to be? Try reading more of their books, or read a chapter an analyze the writing style to see what you can mimic.

2 - Think about the narrator of your story... Even if it's a third-person omniscient, faceless narrator, it can still help to assign a sort of mental picture for who this person might be and who they're telling the story to. Is this someone who experienced it telling the story in third-person long after the fact, with 20/20 hindsight, to someone who might be interested? Is this a god who watched it all unfold and is retelling the tale to an audience of other gods? Is it an old grizzled storyteller telling the story to a rapt audience around a campfire? Try to choose something that makes sense as far as who might be telling this story, who they're telling it to, and why. It's not that you're including this as part of the story, but rather as a sort of placeholder for your brain any time you're in narrator mode. If you can slip into this narrator's shoes as you write the narrator parts, it sometimes helps you "get into character" and stick with a consistent, relevant narrative voice.

3 - Establish character voice... Character voice does have an impact on narrative voice, even if the story isn't told in first-person. In third-person stories, who the characters are can tell you a lot about who your narrator might be (so it might help to do this step before #2 above...) For example, if your characters do happen to be a bunch of 1940s Brits, you can start to think about who they are and what they experience to figure out who the narrator might be. In this case, it probably wouldn't make sense for the narrator to be a god telling the story to other gods (as that feels too mystical for this narrator), but a grizzled storyteller recounting the tale around a campfire might make sense.

If your story's being told in second-person (You walked to the window... Like a Choose Your Own Adventure) or first-person (I walked to the window...) character voice relates even more to narrative voice, because in second-person, even though the narrator is not the POV character, the narration is still being filtered through the POV character's personality, knowledge, and experiences. And in first-person, the narrator IS the POV character, so the narrative voice and character voice are one and the same.

By doing these exercises, you can start to hone each of these voices to find some stability. Happy writing!

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!

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[svsss-fanon-exposed]

I really appreciate your continued emphasis on people being free to enjoy canon and fanon as they want while providing accurate canon information! All the asks and PSAs you've shared on that recently reminded me of a fic where sj actually WAS innocent, even wrt abuse. They had to make an a/n how it was their spin deviant from canon so it'd be great if they could stop getting nasty messages pls. I just think we should all foster a nicer fandom environment, so I love what you're doing~!

Yeah, I personally might be a book-canon purist, but I can certainly recognize that not everyone feels the same way-- and at the end of the day, it is fiction, what people want to do with canon and fanon is up to them and really has little to do with them as a person. I hold authorial intent in really high regard, but no need to bully those who don't, and who want to rearrange things.

Of course, for something like you mention, I would advise using some kind of tag to indicate that it's off-script. Especially since SJ's abuse of LBH is an integral part of the story the novel is telling, changing things like that changes the entire tone of things.

If a fic where the characters are intentionally OOC gets popular, then people will inevitably start going to that fic's portrayal and mixing that up with canon details (this is, probably, why there is so much apologism and denial of SJ's canonical abuse of LBH in this fandom, though it certainly wouldn't be the specific fic you're referencing alone and is probably a combination of many different factors). I personally don't like portrayals like this, but if a writer is changing it for their story, then who am I to judge or harrass them over it? The only issue comes when it spills over into the wider fandom perception, and you have people swearing left and right that SJ had nothing to do with the fake manual (he did) or didn't actually mean to abuse LBH or want him dead (he also did, and this can't just be contriubted to unreliable narrator since it comes from his own perspective in the extras). So I think an a/n at the beginning is a good idea in situations like these. If writers don't want to spoil things, just simply tag that the character is OOC compared to canon-- no need to go into specifics, and readers will know going in that the portrayal isn't meant to be a take on canon or aligning with it.

No one knows how popular their fic will become, after all, and if it gets into the wider fandom space without proper context, things like "Shen Jiu was just treating LBH normally for the time period, he wasn't abusive, LBH was just a self-obsessed person trying to demonize him" become mainstream, widely held beliefs.

Of course, this is what my blog is for, hopefully rerouting some of those ideas, pointing back to the sources where the divergence happened, so that people can see that while they may enjoy this canon-divergent depiction, that they shouldn't bring it into canon-based analysis. I think sourcing fanon is very important for this reason-- better than just saying "you're wrong" is being able to say "this is where the idea came from."

At the end of the day, a deliberately off-script, ooc portrayal should be tagged as such and AO3 provides those tags for a reason. There's nothing inherently wrong with writing characters OOC to change a story. People can write what they want! It's the writer's job to make relevant information known, and the reader's job to filter it out and just not read things they don't like. I'm so particular that I put down probably 80 percent of fics I read before I even get through the first few chapters. That's just me though! I'm a canon snob! Other people have no issues and that's fine.

As long as things aren't skewing into abuse apologism in regards to the canon-universe, there's literally no reason I can't just ignore things I don't like, and there's no reason other people can't do the same with things they don't like.

Anyway, don't harrass artists and writers in the fandom. If you feel it absolutely necessary to leave a comment in regards to an OOC character portrayal, don't be mean about it, just say something like "<Character Name> seems to be a bit OOC here, is this intentional?" but even then, it's really not necessary to come into someone else's space like that. Make your own posts, write your own fics.

There is no reason to assume malice when there are other explanations. This is hard with topics like abuse apologism, but people also need to remember that this is fiction. SJ was abusive in canon, but he's still not a real person, and if someone wants to write a version of him where he's not abusive, then that portrayal can easily be treated as a version from an alternate universe where things were different. This is not the same as saying a person in real life isn't abusive, because in this case, it's not apologism-- it's literally a different universe where the rules of the original canon don't apply. In fictional and fandom spaces, it's a lot easier and better off to just give people the benefit of the doubt.

As long as you're not claiming that his canon behavior wasn't abusive (since that's about behaviors now, and not just a fictional story), it literally doesn't matter what people write in fanfic.

Authors, tag your fics with everything you'd like your readers to be aware of, because when a reader opens up a fic they're probably expecting the characters to follow canon unless stated otherwise.

Readers, read the portrayals and stories you like. Don't read the ones you don't. If something isn't tagged correctly, and you find out you don't like it after reading, just close the fic and stop reading.

No one should ever be harassing anyone else over fandom for any reason.

#answered #psa #if it's going to be a discussion on character analysis #then people can have civil debates while providing sources #it's possible to argue without it being harassment or bullying #no need to attack people there either #but definitely no reason to just not read a fic you don't like #you know what i'll put this one in the tags #svsss #shen jiu

[all-seeing-ifer]

Aromanticism in Academia

Since it's currently Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week and I'm currently in the middle of a master's research project about aromanticism and asexuality, I figured I'd contribute by putting together a list of some books and other academic sources I've read so far that deal with aromanticism! There's very little written about aromanticism in academia, so I think it's important to spotlight what we do have.

DISCLAIMER BEFORE THE LIST: Due to the lack of discussion of aromanticism specifically in academia, most of what I've found are texts that are primarily about asexuality but also discuss aromanticism. It's unfortunate, but it is also where we're kind of at right now in terms of academia, so bear that in mind.

Books:

Ace Voices: What it means to be asexual, aromantic, demi, or grey-ace by Eris Young - Definitely has the most focus on aromanticism of everything that I've read so far, this book draws from a combination of the author's personal experiences and interviews with other members of the a-spec community, including aroace and alloaro people. A good source of discussion of aro issues and how they interact with things like gender stereotypes. Also notable for its discussion of QPRs, a topic which I find has generally been ignored in academia about a-spec identities.

Ace: What Asexuality reveals about desire, society, and the meaning of sex by Angela Chen - Primarily deals with asexuality, as the title suggests, but also contains some relevant discussions of aromanticism, including the experiences of aroallo people. If you're going to check out the book, I would especially recommending looking at chapter 7: Romance, Reconsidered, which features most of the discussion of aromanticism and non-normative relationships

Refusing Compulsory Sexuality: A Black Asexual Lens on our Sex-Obsessed Culture by Sherronda J Brown - Again, asexuality is the main focus here, but I would still recommend checking out this book as it does still contain some useful discussion of aromanticism, particularly an extended critique of "singlism" (i.e. discrimination of single people) and how it is weaponised against aros. I also find Brown's criticism of the dehumanisation of aromanticism in media to be very compelling!

Minimizing Marriage: Marriage, Morality, and the Law - I would be remiss not to mention Brake's work here. While Minimizing Marriage is not specificallly about aromanticism and deals with marriage reform and the concept of amatonormativity more broadly, I think it's fair to say that many of Brake's ideas (particularly her coining of amatonormativity as a term) have become vital to the aro community and aro activism in recent years. Definitely a must-read for anyone interested in deconstructing amatonormativity and in contemporary critiques of marriage as an institution, though it's worth noting that this is a work of moral/political philosophy first and foremost, and as such it gets very into the weeds of things. Available on the Internet Archive here

Academic Articles/Essays (all can be found in the collection Asexualities: Feminist and Queer Perspectives):

"Why didn't you tell me that I love you?": Asexuality, Polymorphous Perversity, and the Liberation of the Cinematic Clown by Andrew Grossman - A really interesting and engaging analysis of the archetype of the silent film clown, and how it can be read as an a-spec figure. While Grossman uses the language of asexuality, his analysis makes it clear that he is looking at the clown as both an asexual AND aromantic character.

On the Racialization of Asexuality by Ianna Hawkins Owen - A personal favourite of mine. I think many parts of this essay will be very relevant to aromantic people, particularly Owen's investigation of how romantic love came to be pedastalised and her critique of attempts to normalise asexuality by distancing it from aromanticism.

Mismeasures of Asexual Desires by Jacinthe Flore - A critique of the pathologisation of asexuality that also discusses how aromanticism challenges common discourses around intimate relationships

Finally, I would like to mention the work of Bella DePaulo, who has written extensively about singlism and compulsory coupling, and who Brown uses extensively as a source in their writing on aromanticism. I didn't want to make this part of the main list because I haven't yet had a chance to get stuck into DePaulo's work, but based on Brown's mentions of her work I believe she has some very interesting ideas that are very relevant to aro people.

As you can probably tell, the list of academic sources dealing with aromanticism and aro issues is very limited. However, while aromanticism is vastly underdiscussed in an academic context, I'd like to point out that this is also only what I've been able to find so far. If anyone has any other recommendations please do add them to this post - I for one would love to hear about them!

#aro shtuff #asaw 2024 #aromantic awareness week #asaw #aromantic spectrum awareness week #aromantic #ifer rambles #also if u guys have recommendations for aro academia it would be very helpful for me personally #so y'know. there's that #grad school tag

[orbmanson7]

Will Logan Ever Be Happy?

An Extensive Analysis of Logan Sanders' Spotify Playlist and Predictions for the Future of His Character Arc

Logan's Playlist on Spotify

Logan's Playlist on YouTube Music

A few quick notes before we delve in…

This is an extensive analysis in the sense that it's currently around 16,930 words long. Please feel free to read it at your own leisure.

The description of Logan's Playlist on Spotify explicitly states to listen to these songs in order of their listing. This indicates a progression of sorts – of feelings, events, and the plot of the story being told here. It is important that we listen in order, and it seems like Logan would prefer us to listen this way to best understand what it is he is trying to convey.

The repeated themes found throughout many of these songs include: isolation, depression, regret, nostalgia, perfectionism, miscommunication, being the odd one out of a group, recognition of flaws, loss of control, being disliked, a love and familiarity for learning, and finding solutions to problems.

It should also be noted that a handful of these songs are told in second-person perspective, using “you” to indicate a main subject, as though the story is being told by the speaker about someone else’s actions to that someone else, rather than explaining anything outright about themself or how they feel about it. By doing this, the speaker is instead choosing to focus on others and only allowing the listener to sense and interpret how the speaker was affected by what the other party in the song had said or done. This by itself can easily indicate Logan’s insistence to let others take that stage, even when it’s his turn to tell his story, or to show off the faults of others in lieu of focusing on his own failings.

It may be important to remember that as we continue.

The Elements by Tom Lehrer is a simple starter song, as we know. Logan began as a friendly teacher character, someone to help guide Thomas through learning and encouraging curiosity and wonder within him. He helped Thomas to find solutions to problems with the most useful answers, and implored him to keep trying, keep researching, until he truly understood a topic. This was something good, something commendable.

In particular, this song involves a listing of the complete periodic table of elements, something that Logan, as Thomas’ Logic, likely would have to have known very well, considering the focus of Thomas’ major in college. This would have been information Logan used frequently in Thomas’ studies and schoolwork prior to the events of the series, which helps to signify this early interpretation of Logan’s character.

This is the early beginnings. It’s a solid starting point, telling us what we need to know about Thomas’ perception of who he believes Logan is meant to be.

Immediately after, we have White and Nerdy by Weird Al Yankovic, which, similar to the first song, is meant to give us a sense of Logan’s character. Thomas sees him as a helpful teacher, but he also sees him as a very nerdy, reserved, uptight, and pretentious kind of person who likes learning trivia and reading mystery novels and watching sci-fi shows and doing puzzles and making wordplay jokes. This fleshes Logan out more as a character, not just showing us who Thomas sees but giving us more perspective on what to expect from him.

[lyrics:

I wanna roll with the gangsters

But so far, they all think I’m too white and nerdy]

Early on in the series, the sides only appeared momentarily to help offer suggestions and advice to Thomas relevant to what he needed. There seemed to be less cohesion with the group, mainly due to a lack of narrative at the time, but the sides still appeared to work together so long as each stayed in their respective areas of expertise. Despite that, lyrics in this song seem to imply Logan had already seen himself as an outlier to the rest of Thomas’ sides. He recognized that this came at fault of the interpretation of his character, the personality he displayed, his mannerisms, even his interests.

From the very start, Logan was being viewed as something different and distinct in comparison to the other sides.

These first two songs are meant to be reminiscent of not only our first impressions of Logan’s character, but also of Thomas’ overall impression of him early on in the series.

Within the first few episodes, this is how Logan was interpreted and seen, as a nerdy but supportive teacher-like character. Based on Thomas’ vine character of the same attire, Logan was originally meant to be respected but relatable, someone who could understand the kids he was teaching, but was also full of incredibly useful knowledge and knew exactly how to convey that information in a way that would encourage and enlighten those around him.

As one of Thomas’ sides, however, he was minimized to only being Thomas’ Logic, someone who still had an incredible wealth of knowledge and used it to teach and guide Thomas specifically, but he was also someone who was meant to be more stereotypically “nerdy” by Thomas’ standards. He was still able to act as an instructor to Thomas and to the audience watching, but his status of authority was diminished, because now he was no longer a teacher, he was merely another part of Thomas.

This is where Algorhthym by Childish Gambino comes into play. This song indicates a recognition of the world and how it functions, but also a fear to do anything about it, to step out of line. This lends to Logan’s perfectionism, yes, but it also shows that Logan is highly aware of his position as Thomas’ Logic, and what is expected of him. He knows very well that he does not perfectly fit the mold that Thomas has made for him to fill.

Early in the song, there are mentions of misunderstanding directions and testing the waters in objectionable ways.

[lyrics:

Made us the guinea pig and did it with no permission

Told her to call a friend, didn’t tell her to listen

So very scary, so binary, zero or one

Like code is like coal mine canary]

Being put in a position without a choice in the matter, Logan is very aware that he has a big role to fulfill. He’s being depended on to do his job right. But there has, at no point, been any guidance for him to follow. It’s not as though there’s a training manual out there on how to be Thomas Sanders’ Logic, which means Logan can only attempt to figure it out as he goes along.

Now, this is no different from the other sides, as they all lack any kind of instruction on how to do their jobs, either. They all just have to make mistakes and learn from them to improve and get better with time. And, typically, this should be a good thing, but in Logan’s particular case, his job requires him to be relied upon as the one with the answers and solutions, so if he’s seen as someone who makes mistakes, that ruins his ability to be trusted to give those answers in the first place.

Making mistakes would contradict his purpose as Thomas’ Logic, but if he didn’t make mistakes, he couldn’t learn from them and get better like the rest of them. However, it’s inevitable that he will make mistakes because he has no idea how to do this job because he didn’t have any training involved before he started. But if he makes mistakes, he could lose that job, or the job itself could become misconstrued or defunct due to his failures. It’s an unpleasant and repeated cycle with no clear end.

Logan aims for perfection, knowing the risk of failure is so high and comes with such consequence, but he still has hope that something might work out. He also doesn’t seem to have much of a choice otherwise.

But he's already beginning to loop back around in circles over this, even so early on into the series, and this leads him to questioning why the world works this way. Just why does it contradict itself so much?

[lyrics:

I dream in color, not black and white]

He already realizes that he is seeing everything in a different way than Thomas and the other sides do. The world is so much bigger than the arbitrary parameters that are being set for it. Understanding and learning may need rigid guidelines to teach a beginner, to not overwhelm them, but once you know the basics, you can take those training wheels off and start exploring just about anywhere. If you want to try more adventurous feats, you’ll need better gear, more specified knowledge, but it’s not as though you are barred from entry. There is always more to learn, you simply have to go looking for it.

But the world somehow seems to think that’s not the case. Many believe that you either know something or you don’t, or that things can only be either one way or another, with no nuance involved. Instead of understanding all the shades of gray and color in between every moment, every idea, that there’s fluidity and the ability to shift and change at almost every turn, they choose to rely on what they’ve already learned and refuse to challenge it, even when the opportunity arises to do so. The world has so much more to offer than the black-and-white to which people often cling.

There’s so much space in between every atom, infinite amounts of empty air, that which we can barely comprehend, yet we see an object, a person, or any full form as completely solid, contradicting what we expect. We may say a penguin cannot fly, and yet you could put one as a passenger on an airplane and that could be considered flying. It has just done what was thought impossible. It is all about our perspective and the rules we set in place for our world that limits what we believe we know and understand, but that doesn’t mean that’s how the world actually works.

Unfortunately, changing someone’s mind can be very difficult, especially when you’re the one who contributed to them learning those basics to help them conceptualize the topic in the first place. It can be very hard to teach someone that knowledge is genuinely limitless, especially when they have found less use for it as time goes on and no longer have a desire to keep learning.

The song then indicates that the way a human behaves doesn’t always make logical sense, but that they value their life and experiences.

[lyrics:

Humans don’t understand, humans will sell a lie

Humans gotta survive, we know we gon’ die

Nothing can live forever, you know we gon’ try

Life, is it really worth it? The algorhythm is perfect, mmh]

Logan can comprehend this notion, even if he doesn’t quite understand and see the world in the same way as Thomas does; even if he believes some of his actions are illogical, he knows Thomas’ ability to live his life to the fullest is something memorable. He can recognize its importance overall, even if he doesn’t fully agree with how it’s done.

Logan likely comes to realize by this point, even so early on, that compromise is the best option here, just as we saw in the episode The Mind vs The Heart. Even if he doesn’t see things in the same way as others, he can still meet someone halfway, and hope that they can meet him halfway in return.

However, nothing is ever that easy, it seems. Just because he’s willing to step back and take another’s perspective into account does not mean others will do the same for him.

This more or less encapsulates the rest of the song from his perspective. He learns to stop challenging that which doesn’t want to be challenged, attempts to follow what is expected of him, even if what is expected of him is a perfection that he is unsure can even be achieved. He has to compromise some of these details and nuances so that the world can still run on its bizarre rules, for Thomas’ sake, and this results in him having to step away from his goals to make way for the others’ instead, or even to be pushed away when his insistence to the contrary isn’t appreciated, like we saw in the episode Moving On Pt 1: Exploring Nostalgia.

He learned fairly well that day that sometimes emotions took priority over intelligence, and even if Logan didn’t fully comprehend the purpose they served in solving that dilemma, he was attempting to find a proper answer that would be of benefit to Thomas regardless. But what he learned instead was that his efforts were unwanted simply because he was viewing the situation from a very different perspective than the others were.

As such, he began to learn not to question these parameters that the world operates upon. He needs to do what he can Within those parameters to ensure Thomas’ survival and simply hope that he’ll thrive with knowledge (and Logan) as his guide.

And that is exactly why the next song is Fitter Happier by Radiohead. The whole song is a monotonous text-to-speech vocalization of varying guidelines one may expect for someone to appear as and/or be human. As the list goes on, the more inhuman the stipulations become, betraying the real purpose behind the list, that this is someone attempting to appear perfectly human while misunderstanding what that means entirely.

Again, Logan was never given a guide on how to do his job, so he had to just make it up as he went along and attempt to do it perfectly without any help or reassurance. From Logan’s perspective, he knows his goal is to make sure Thomas survives to live his happy life, but his expertise in helping Thomas achieve this relies on knowledge and facts, not emotions or empathy. This results in Logan’s attempts coming off as unempathetic, cold, and strict, not to mention completely missing the point of living.

But because he is doing this solo, and because he has awareness of the consequences of failure, he is aiming for perfection and doing his best with what resources he does have – which happens to be his own intelligence and what he can learn through research. Unfortunately, when it comes to life and living, Logan’s limited only to the facts, and his primary focus is Thomas’ survival, nothing more.

[lyrics:

Not drinking too much

Regular exercise at the gym, three days a week

Getting on better with your associate employee contemporaries

At ease

Eating well, no more microwave dinners and saturated fats

A patient, better driver]

This is why some of the lyrics list guidelines such as “regular exercise at the gym” or “eating well, no more microwave dinners and saturated fats.” These are the types of recommendations you would hear from a doctor or nutritionist, examples of efforts that may result in longer life. If someone only cared about extending their life or living healthily, these would be excellent suggestions. But when they are devoid of any emotion, removed from relationships with family and friends, absent of aspirations and goals for someone to enjoy said life, the suggestions instead become robotic and inhuman. Yes, you can live longer by following these steps, but you may not enjoy the extra time you are given to do so if you only follow these suggestions and nothing more.

This is something that was discussed during the Why Do We Get Out of Bed in the Morning? episode, where Logan asserts that creating a balance of daily tasks to maintain his wellbeing will allow Thomas to live a long life. Roman argues that if Thomas spends all his time taking care of himself, it doesn’t give him enough time to pursue his dreams and he insists that he must instead take risks and give priority to his aspirations. In the end, Thomas found his motivation in a balance of both of these recommendations, that he should maintain his health while also taking the chance to achieve his goals.

While a human genuinely needs that balance, to have both sides of this argument included to find true motivation to keep going, these individual sides within Thomas are always likely to see their own mindset and opinion on the matter as the priority, as the “right” way to do things. This is exemplified by Patton’s addition during the end credits scene, where he offers his opinion on the topic about having the opportunity to add positivity to the world. His belief is only an addition to the discussion and wouldn’t detract from Logan and Roman’s suggestions, but it shows that each of Thomas’ sides have their own views on what the real answer is meant to be and that they do not agree on this notion, even if they do see eye-to-eye at times or are willing to work together for Thomas’ sake.

This song is likely meant to remind us of that episode specifically, and what Logan’s opinions on the matter were at that time, indicating his goal is for Thomas to maintain a balanced and healthy lifestyle so that he has the ability to survive and live a long life. It shows us that without the others, there is a lack of balance, but it also shows that Logan is striving for perfection, with special regard to Thomas’ needs, not necessarily his wants or desires. After all, that’s Roman’s department, right?

And this is a big factor in why the sides don’t often get along with each other. They each have their own idea of what is actually best for Thomas, and when it comes to Logan, he has an easier time arguing his points because he has all the data to back him up. This doesn’t keep the others from fighting against him, nor does it keep Thomas from taking the others’ side anyway on many occasions, but it’s still something he can rely on when everyone else is against him.

But even if he cares about Thomas’ survival most, is what he’s proposing truly the “right” way to go about it?

If he learned anything from Why Do We Get Out of Bed in the Morning?, the ending of this song may indicate he recognizes that Thomas may well live a long life with his suggestions, but would not necessarily be happy in that life, so perhaps perfection isn’t the right goal to have in mind.

Happiness, however, can be very subjective. For instance, happiness to Logan would likely involve the satisfaction of a job well done, or the opportunity to learn something new, so what would life for Thomas be if he couldn’t have that?

This is what leads us into the next song, Medicine by STRFKR, which continues the thoughts on perfectionism and the problems that arise from it. Perhaps due to the events associated with the last song, Logan has come to realize that the goal of being perfect is either truly unattainable or, as this song seems to suggest, prevents the desire to continue learning once reached. Logan, of course, would not want Thomas to have peaked when it comes to obtaining knowledge, as there will always be something you don’t know, there will always be something new to learn. If perfection removes a desire to know more, he wouldn’t be able to encourage Thomas to learn anything new, even something for his survival. As such, his goal of perfection is flawed.

However, this now completely conflicts with his earlier notions about his own aspirations of perfection, as he must be knowledgeable and helpful for Thomas, to provide him with what he needs without flaw, without failure. He must be perfect, but perfection is not possible. He must be perfect, but perfection begets disinterest and prevents further learning. So, perfection should not be his goal because it will be of overall detriment to Thomas.

His new goal needs to be something else, but he must still maintain something as close to perfection as possible, because Thomas’ perception of him cannot be altered. Thomas will still expect perfection of him, but he can never truly attain it because it’s both impossible and would ultimately remove his purpose to Thomas as Logic. Such a feat is even more difficult to achieve than perfection, so he’s very much stuck at this point and will need to figure out a new solution to this complicated problem.

[lyrics:

Sorry

So helpless

So help you

Any way you like]

When in doubt, Logan knows he can turn to one thing: Thomas’ preference on the matter. If Logan can’t decide on the best course of action, he will instead choose whatever it is that Thomas wants, as that is how he may obtain his happiness even when working with a less-than-perfect Logic.

After all, if perfection was not the true goal, then perhaps it was meant to be whatever Thomas wanted instead. Logan didn’t need to reach perfection, he just needed to reach Thomas’ expectations. The goalpost had moved, but it was still in sight, and now he’d just have to create a new strategy in order to find success, meaning it was time for some experimentation to his approach.

[lyrics:

(spoken behind music)

The following of them does not depend on believing in anything, in obeying anything, or on doing any specific rituals

Although rituals are included for certain purposes because it is a purely experimental approach to life]

Between the events of Why Do We Get Out of Bed in the Morning? and Learning New Things About Ourselves was a fun little promo episode known as Crofter's: The Musical, and while it may not seem all that relevant in the grand scheme of things, it’s important to remember the focus of the episode relied on Logan’s extraordinary adoration of Crofter's jam.

Given his love for the product, he was ecstatic at his opportunity to be recognized through that which he admired – by being featured on a specialized version of the product itself. It’s a high honor, it’s respectable, it’s cherished. This is a great moment for Logan, seeing a lot of his efforts come to fruition in an interesting and unique way.

However, it is soured by Roman’s bruised ego, as he prefers his spotlight and sees this one moment as Logan being viewed more favorably than him overall, and then it is further ruined by the mention of Logan’s wordplay and puns throughout the episode as him acting unusual, notably unserious. Logan becomes rather concerned during the end credits scene as the others point this out about him, and he realizes that he needs to maintain the status quo after all.

His experimentation in finding a balance, of what was acceptable and what was not, resulted in him understanding that he could not engage in sillier interests publicly so as not to alter the others’ perception of him and his purpose to Thomas or tarnish his reputation as a practical, reliable, knowledgeable side. He must continue to keep emotions removed from his position as Logic, even with perfection off the table as a motivating factor.

Now, before we move on to the next song, I want to re-establish whereabout in the timeline of the series we are by this point.

We had the early origins near the start with The Elements song and White and Nerdy, which likely took place somewhere within the first couple episodes that featured Logan. We dipped into Algorhythm, which likely took place around the time the actual plot and deeper characterization began appearing in the show, somewhere between The Mind vs The Heart and Moving On Pt 1 & 2. Then, Fitter Happier seems to strike some similar chords as the episode Why Do We Get Out of Bed in the Morning? from Logan’s perspective alone, meaning we’re fairly far into the series already. Medicine is somewhere around Crofters: The Musical, which means we are about to get to Learning New Things About Ourselves.

That was an episode that definitely served as a big turning point for Logan and how he readdressed his role as Thomas’ Logic and perceived how he was meant to fulfill his position.

This is also the point in the playlist where things seem to take a much darker and negative turn.

For now, we move on to the next song, which is The Watchtower by The Dø.

Now, @intrulogical has a great analysis of the meaning that may be associated with this song from Logan’s perspective, that Logan may overthink and prefer to hide away from others out of shame when he doesn’t perform adequately, that he recognizes his mistakes and has, on multiple occasions, offered to leave the discussion in order to benefit the others and Thomas. He has taken to suggesting his removal from the situation when he doesn’t seem to have the solution they need or when he has become emotional in times where he shouldn’t be, meaning that he has come to realize it may be a better option for him to leave, rather than stay and potentially make the situation worse.

We already know that he has come to understand perfection is not possible but must still maintain something akin to it, feeling shame when mistakes are inevitable. We know he experimented with his approach to no avail, where he learned he must remain emotionless and cold to be successful. The amount of stress from trying to meet expectations, maintain restrictions, and adapt himself for the others’ benefit is beginning to take its toll on him.

The Watchtower is a song that seems to suggest Logan’s methods are what make him a true outlier among the group, but the lyrics literally start out with “I’m breaking, I need another start” which would mean this is a reaction to his stressful situation, not an action Logan chose in advance.

But he is still prepared when reacting like this. He has weighed the options; he has taken past experiences into account. He has more knowledge now on how to be Thomas’ Logic in a way that fits Thomas’ expectations, and he is no longer blindly attempting to do his best without failure and is instead using what failures he’s already had to recontextualize his understanding and guide his next actions.

But he still needs to appear as flawless as he possibly can, for Thomas and the others, so that he still embodies his role as Logic, so that he can still be relied on and trusted to do his job. While he recognizes perfection is not possible, he will still get as close to it as he can.

While stress may be a factor, this may explain some of the true motivation behind his desire to hide away in these moments, or at least his belief that it would be easier to solve these dilemmas from farther away.

[lyrics:

From the watchtower

Where we can see things coming

Good or bad, at least we see things coming

From the watchtower

Where we can read the future

Whatever it says, at least we know what’s up]

Within these lyrics, we can see that this is a very divorced perspective to have, as though Logan prefers to solve issues from a distance, removed from the situation itself and able only to view it, not directly interact with the parties involved.

Using his influence on Thomas to solve the issue without being present in Moving On Pt 2 after he abruptly left in Moving On Pt 1, Logan has shown that he can be successful when he isn’t there to be talked over and insulted, be overwhelmed by everyone’s emotions and concerns, or have his own uncontrolled emotional outbursts. He can stay unbiased, practical, and clear-headed from a distance and achieve the best results.

This explains why he attempted to leave after his outburst in the episode Learning New Things About Ourselves, because he had seen prior success in doing so.

However, it’s clear that there are some consequences to this approach.

[lyrics:

I don’t mind

if I’m impopular

I’m thinking

And no one in particular]

Another repeated notion throughout the series that Logan is now well aware of is that he is not very well liked. While this seems to stem from a combination of the expectations put on him and his stricter handling of the others’ more outlandish ideas, at this point, and the lyrics suggest he tries to make it seem as though it doesn’t bother him. But we know otherwise, because Logan does continue to attempt to garner favor from Thomas, the other sides, and the audience. It’s why he picked up the slang word flashcards, and it’s partly why he tries to use more relatable metaphors and analogies to explain complicated subjects. He does want to be liked, respected, and Heard, even if he claims otherwise.

His attempts to remove himself from the group to benefit Thomas and perform his duties from afar only seem to add to this dislike that’s been building for him. His absence prevents him from building and maintaining any relationship with the other sides (not that he was making much progress with that around that time in the series regardless). When he has his outburst in Learning New Things About Ourselves and tries to then leave the discussion entirely, he is quickly stopped by Patton who insists he stay instead. He would have preferred to leave, knowing he was more beneficial to Thomas if he was unemotional. Unfortunately, because he stays, he is unable to resolve the issue for Thomas like he had before, and instead spent the rest of the episode uncomfortable and unable to relate to the emotional concepts that were applied.

He comes away from that situation recognizing his own misunderstanding of the others’ actions in their attempts to help Thomas, but there is no solution found, only a slight improvement to Thomas’ mood about the discussion on the whole. And on Logan’s part, he was also left without a solution, resulting in him adding this as another failure to his list and believing that he will need to do more to better accommodate the other sides and Thomas’ emotions in order to achieve the best results.

[lyrics:

I’m breaking

I need another start

Far away from the city lights]

This follows the lyrics at the end of the song, repeating exactly how it started. Nothing was resolved here; Logan only sees his mistake and feels ashamed for it. He still wants to solve Thomas’ issues from a distance, but now he’s more aware of the emotional stakes that he hadn’t been implementing in his solutions before this point.

He has decided that he’ll do better, but he isn’t sure how to do that exactly, and he’s still hurting, but that’s left unacknowledged.

And Logan only comes to realize that the others are pulling away after this, as we see in Selfishness vs Selflessness, where he wasn't included in the courtroom scenario and pushed to the back and out of the way after the one moment where he could be helpful.

Logan can see that this is what Thomas and the others want for him, to stay out of their way, because he apparently can't understand them in the way they prefer. Never mind the fact that the inverse is true, too.

And that leads us to the next song, The Breach by clipping.. At a minimum, this song is very concerning, but also a helpful indicator as to what seems to be happening and possibly even why.

[lyrics:

Generally operating normally

A small anomaly has become evident

And probably should be noted]

In simple terms, something has changed, and likely not for the better. Something is different.

If we’re aware of the timeline of the story, this is sometime after the episode Learning New Things About Ourselves, which means it's likely about Remus’ arrival in Dealing with Intrusive Thoughts and how it signifies Thomas’ declining mental health.

Something specific that should be mentioned about this song first is its lyrics. They are read as a computer observing a situation, assessing the variables, and stating plainly the solution to be enacted by others. This is similar to what Logan was able to successfully do in Moving On Pt 2 and would have preferred to use as his approach in Learning New Things About Ourselves, which is to stay distant from the situation itself but address everything calmly and without emotional disruption.

However, the lyrics are also given in very quick succession, indicating a hastiness to the necessity of these instructions. This could mean that if the subject does not act swiftly, the results may not be optimal.

[lyrics:

First: the recommended course of action should be to

Administer a sedative to all the cargo via ventilation

The ship is fully capable of automating this

But requires an approval code from the administration]

As he learned in Learning New Things About Ourselves, Logan has to better accommodate the other sides’ emotions (as well as Thomas’) and their concerns on the matter in order to competently resolve the issue, so appearing and calmly explaining what needs to be done is the approach he chose. But that didn’t work out at first due to the same issues he’s been having this whole time, which is everyone’s reluctance to listen to him as well as their insistence on keeping him out of the group, especially while they are all so emotional themselves in that moment.

In order for this to work, he would need to convince Thomas and the others to trust him and to listen to what he had to say. In reality, Logan can only give them the advice they need here, he can’t actually fix it for them, hence the lyric, “but requires an approval code from the administration.” They can’t logic their way out of this but using logic can guide them away from the overly emotional response and provide the instructions needed to find that solution.

Logan applies the instructions from the song – administer a sedative? Calm the others back down. The importance of alacrity? Speak with confidence, stay positive. Send security immediately? Logan took charge of the situation at hand because no one else was handling it.

Logan keeps himself level-headed, refuses to show any emotional response (not to Remus, not to Virgil, not to Patton), and displays his worth as Thomas’ Logic to the best of his ability. And it works fairly well, as he manages to calm the other sides and Thomas down while also warding Remus off and tiring him out. It took longer than he probably expected, but he accomplished what he had set out to do.

Despite the end of the song sounding like an electric-powered warzone, the episode Dealing with Intrusive Thoughts had ended on a positive note for Logan, as he was praised by Thomas for being cool, with how he handled the situation so smoothly and didn’t let anything affect him. This marked a success for Logan, and he now knows that addressing situations with swift action, getting right to the point while also allowing for the other parties to vent their feelings on the matter, and staying composed and unemotional himself while addressing the problem was the best course of action, at least while Thomas was in this type of mindset and far more stressed than he had been in the past.

Perhaps he really has finally figured out how to be a proper Logic for Thomas after all.

Unfortunately, whatever elation he had in that episode doesn’t last long, as our next song, Letter C by Zach Sherwin, is all about being embarrassed by others and reflecting back on the situation later to think of something cleverer that could have been said in response.

As this is something he has dealt with a handful of times in the series as a whole, Logan wishing he could have thought up a better comeback to the others’ insults in the moment is not unheard of, and it could easily be inferred that he’s done this type of reflection on his own many times.

[lyrics:

And now it’ll linger forever but I’ve been stewin’ over

What I’d say to him if I could do it over]

The song lyrics mention how this situation lingers, that it’s something Logan thinks about repeatedly, even though we know there have been multiple moments like this. He remembers it for a long time, he thinks back on each one, wishing he could have done something more when he had the chance.

This is a moment more steeped in pride than obligation to his duty as Logic, however. While his desire to be viewed as clever and informed comes from the expectations of him as Thomas’ Logic, his desire to be respected as Better than the other sides in this particular way does not.

As was told in Learning New Things About Ourselves, it seems Logan habitually criticizes the others and becomes more standoffish in response to stress and a lack of order, as though the lack of control in a situation supercedes his judgement on how to behave among the other sides. In attempt to regain that control, he tries to place himself and his importance in the matter above others, which only causes additional problems.

In reality, all the sides should be balancing each other out, but the system currently in place is not balanced at all, and we often see sides like Logan further down the ranks than others on a regular basis. This can explain his desire to level it back out or rise even higher, to prove that he should be listened to and respected, and he could easily convince himself that his reason for this desire stems from his necessity to Thomas as opposed to any correlated feelings of shame or pride.

Thomas needs his logical side, someone to act as his voice of reason when the others are too emotional and rowdy, someone to provide unbiased facts instead of the others’ leaning opinions, someone that he can trust to always be in his corner and do what’s best for him every time. While the others turn Thomas’ gaze to the future or the past, Logan does everything he can to keep him steady in the present, so long as Thomas actually listens.

Logan had spent a lot of time to change and be better for Thomas, to meet and exceed his expectations. He adapted his thoughts, his methods, his temperament, all to best accommodate Thomas and his needs. So, it makes a lot of sense that he’d have a lot left unsaid after everything he has tolerated throughout the series. He wishes he could have the respect he believes he’s owed instead of continuing to endure insults left and right, but for now, he can only make up such scenarios where he comes out on top in his mind.

A moment of respite comes with what's next on the playlist, Galaxy Song from Monty Python (as sung by Stephen Hawking), which has a delightful message of enjoying the wonder found in our universe. There’s already so much to learn on our planet, but there’s endlessly more available to us out in the rest of the ever-expanding universe.

The song jabs at the inevitable stupidity of some people but chooses not to complain or find a way to be better than them. Instead, one should choose to refocus on something positive, to distract themself rather than to dwell on it. It’s better to think about something you enjoy rather than something you hate, right? And this makes it seem as though it’s a response to the last song in this way, that Logan has dealt with another insult or stressful situation and was unable to respond in the way he preferred, so now he’s choosing to ignore it and think about something fascinating to pass his time in a healthier and nonjudgmental way. Ignoring the situation is no better than stewing over it, but at least this way he gets to think about something he appreciates.

Neither of these songs seem to have a particular place in the overall storyline from the series, by the way. They seem to embody multiple similar occurrences over the course of the show, indicating that this has happened before, continues to happen, and will likely keep happening in the future. However, it’s not a great situation to repeatedly have to handle, especially if Logan is still as stressed as we know he is, and if he simply keeps permitting it to happen without speaking up properly about why it bothers him, then it will never change.

The next song, Streaks, is itself a very interesting song that embodies a lot of nostalgia, both good and bad, that Logan holds about his past with Thomas – teaching him, helping him study, guiding his path through school and college. Sadly, we know that Thomas proceeded to let his Chemical Engineering degree collect dust so he could instead pursue an acting career and become a successful Youtuber as an adult. To Logan, these more creative interests overtook his studies and Thomas’ potential for a stable and well-earning career.

[lyrics:

All these years of filling out papers

Building a future

Keeping your head down

Tryin’ to keep a head on your shoulders

Keep it creative

Make it your own somehow]

From these lyrics, we can see the inclusion of creativity as a secondary to getting the work done, showing something that was discussed in Why Do We Get Out of Bed in the Morning? as Logan proposed that Thomas maintaining a healthy lifestyle and doing his work tasks needed to take priority over creative pursuits and aspirations. This could imply that, during Thomas’ school years, Logan may have had a lot more say in what Thomas should do to be successful in his classes and to get into college, and that he didn’t turn away Thomas’ interest in creativity but preferred it to not take priority over his schoolwork.

But, as we know, what may have started as a creative outlet soon grew into a genuine interest and then a full acting career that negated the entire point of all of Logan’s hard work. If Thomas had wanted to be an actor or a Youtuber all along, why did Logan put so much effort into getting Thomas to study, to do his work, to get into college, to earn his degree? He couldn’t even be proud of such an accomplishment because it served no purpose to Thomas as an adult. It didn’t signify anything except wasted effort on Logan’s part.

[lyrics:

Throw ‘em in the water

Let ‘em sink or float

Give ‘em what they need to move on

Then you let them go]

This sounds like something you’d hear from a parent watching their child grow up and move onto adulthood and pursue their own life away from the family home.

Logan had done his part, he taught and guided Thomas in everything he needed to know in order to achieve success. And when it came time for Thomas to follow through, he proceeded to veer off to a completely different path and Logan could do nothing but watch it happen. Thankfully, though, Thomas Had found success, just not in a way that Logan had expected.

He hadn’t even prepared for this type of eventuality – it was unknown territory.

But Logan could adapt, he could make this work. He’d shown he was able to overcome past obstacles, and he found ways to implement research and education into Thomas’ creative career, giving him an opportunity to still learn something new. He just needed to stay relevant and keep Thomas’ interest and continue encouraging him to learn. However, that proved much harder to do when Thomas refused to listen to him.

Thomas had grown to require much less from Logan over time, having moved away from the days of tests and studying to bigger and better adventures. It left Logan with very little to do for Thomas but maybe to appear when he had no one else to turn to.

It was as though it wasn’t just Thomas’ degree that he’d placed up on a shelf to collect dust, but Logan, too. To stay tucked away, unused for years, only ever coming in handy for very specific situations and nothing but an embarrassment or eyesore in others. What use could he possibly have anymore? Why should Thomas be proud of him when he didn’t need him for anything?

Now, if you’ve noticed, these past few songs seem to lean more heavily toward emotions than the ones that came before them. Letter C was about embarrassment and feeling shame over his mistakes and how he’s been treated, trying to use his pride to combat it. The Galaxy Song was about relief and ignoring the situation to escape to wonder and curiosity as a coping mechanism. And now Streaks is about nostalgia, the wistful longing for what once was, and the painful memory of what came of that despite all his effort.

He’s embarrassed, he’s running away from the problem, he’s sad.

You see, Logan is trying to find a solution here by using something similar to what the other sides might try when they are the ones struggling. He’s copying their methods. Roman leans on his pride to sooth his ego and to make himself feel better, Virgil runs away and hides from his issues, and Patton delves into nostalgia and strengthens his sadness, feeling it deeply.

This implies that Logan doesn’t quite understand how to handle whatever it is that he is feeling, but he's paid close enough attention to what the others have done, even if he doesn't understand why or how it's meant to help. Now that he's searching for some sort of solution on his own, he experiments, tries something new based upon his research and facts, rather than asking for any kind of help.

Remember, he can’t tarnish his image as a near-flawless Logic that is supposed to already know everything, who they’re supposed to be able to rely on. So, he will have to solve this one on his own, too, by just trying things out until he eventually gets it right. That is what the experimental approach is for, after all.

But these emotional songs are only the beginning, and they’re about to take a stark turn.

Next is What I Do For U by Ra Ra Riot, which is a song absolutely steeped in frustration and anger. In so few lyrics, it says a lot of what Logan has been mulling over lately in the storyline. We know his frustration over everything has been building more and more.

[lyrics:

I want you to survive

Anything you need]

This song gets right to the point with its opening lyrics and even the chorus. It tells us that Logan’s efforts, all these recommendations to Thomas, all the schedules and planning, all this encouragement for him to eat healthy and take better care of himself, all his guidance and advice and helpfulness serve one purpose and one purpose alone – to help Thomas survive.

[lyrics:

What I do for you

I do for you]

Everything he does, he does for Thomas.

But does Thomas recognize that? It doesn’t seem so.

And this, of course, bothers Logan. It doesn’t just bother him, it angers him. Logan has put in so much of his time and energy over the years into doing everything perfectly for Thomas, with no help in doing so this entire time. Prioritizing Thomas’ wellness over everything, listening to the others even when he couldn’t understand their emotions, remaining level-headed and calm around their puns and insults and threats, hiding his interests and holding back his words so they wouldn’t think less of him. He has worked against obstacles and odds of which the others aren’t even aware. He has bent and molded and reshaped himself in so many ways to better accommodate everyone else, to match their expectations, to make them happy. He did it for them.

But what does he get in return? Mocked, disrespected, and ignored.

And, worst of all, Logan knows just how important he is to Thomas! Well, in function, at least. Thomas would not survive without Logic, and yet Logan seems to be the only one to recognize that fact. He can’t even be respected for his function, his purpose in keeping Thomas alive and well. It’s one thing if they didn't like Logan, but wasn’t the fact that he was needed for Thomas’ survival enough for them to tolerate him, at the very least?

[lyrics:

I’m your only hope

And I’m your savior too

Every single test

You’ve been ever carried through]

On top of that, and as we saw in the Working Through Intrusive Thoughts asides episode, Logan has been attempting to solve Thomas’ issues by himself, relying on his knowledge and experience with Thomas to determine the best approach in every situation without consulting the other sides at all. At some point in the series, Logan came to believe that he was the only one who actually cared about what Thomas needed, that he was somehow the only one actually keeping Thomas alive. He believes he is the only side who’s clear-headed enough to handle Thomas’ problems, the only one who can act as a voice of reason, the only one who offers practical and useful solutions.

This is, unfortunately for Logan, not actually true, but it makes sense why he would come to this conclusion, considering that every side disagrees on what they think is best for Thomas. The other sides tend to focus on their own self-interests and goals as guiding factors while Logan is the one who deals the most in absolutes and factual information. Something that Roman suggests can be complete fantasy, impossible to ever achieve. Something that Patton suggests can be unreasonable to follow through on or would only hurt Thomas in the long run. Something that Virgil suggests can be rooted in negativity and self-doubt, bringing Thomas’ mental health down as a result. Janus’ suggestions can be incredibly biased and not always socially acceptable. Remus’ suggestions…well. They can be both uncomfortable as well as impractical.

But Logan never gives impossible, impractical, or biased recommendations to Thomas. He uses research to find what would work best for the situation, then applies it to his knowledge and experience with Thomas to determine what would suit him most, and then suggests it outright, explaining in simple terms a way in which it can be implemented.

He does all the hard work for Thomas, so that all he’ll have to do is simply follow through. Each time, he does this with Thomas and his needs at the forefront of every offer.

Yes, he can go overboard a bit, just like all the other sides, but he thinks that just means he needs to be flexible and allow for some exceptions to balance things out, allow Thomas to be happy in his survival. After all, he has learned so much over the course of this series, hasn’t he?

He learned to compromise with those he disagreed with in The Mind vs The Heart. He learned that too much or too little of any side’s influence could bring detriment to Thomas in Accepting Anxiety Pt 1 & 2. He learned that emotions could override intelligence and present a major problem in Moving On Pt 1 & 2. He learned that finding some balance between his suggestions and the others’ was optimal in Why Do We Get Out of Bed in the Morning?. He learned that such balance could not be applied to himself as he had to maintain his role as an unemotional Logic and stay serious in Crofters: The Musical. He learned that he needed to expand his understanding of why Thomas preferred emotions over intelligence despite the need for both in Learning New Things About Ourselves. He learned that the other sides and Thomas could apparently solve their issues without his presence in Selfishness vs Selflessness. He learned that his method of taking action and solving the issue for them when they were too emotional to do it themselves was more efficient in Dealing with Intrusive Thoughts. He learned that, despite his willingness to help, the others much preferred to solve issues without him in Putting Others First. He learned that his method of efficiency in solving Thomas’ problems on his behalf was not particularly welcome and would not earn him the respect he desired in Working Through Intrusive Thoughts. He learned that despite continued efforts, the others still won’t listen to him or to each other in Have I Grown? – Five Years Later. He learned that, as the logical side, the others would always assume he was against them and their ideas in Can Plushies Improve Our Health?

He's learned…a lot. Overall, he has concluded that he is needed but not wanted, that he has the answers but not the perfect method to apply them, that he apparently should allow for emotions to guide the other sides and Thomas while keeping himself cut off from them entirely, and that he should be implementing logic only where it is most required or when specifically requested.

Logan has found what he believes should work best for Thomas, but has also realized that Thomas is refusing to listen. Thomas doesn’t want to do things that benefit him, he doesn’t want to do things that will make him feel better, and Logan certainly can’t force him to do them, either, even when he’s sure it will help. Are the suggestions the problem or is it because it’s Logan suggesting them that keeps him from doing it?

Logan is very determined to perform his function, to keep Thomas alive and well. He wants to empower him to overcome the mental health difficulties he’s been facing lately, and to allow him to take care of his needs, but Logan’s doing all of this by himself because he doesn’t believe anyone else is capable nor wants to do what has to be done.

The other sides prefer to only dabble in the fun parts, the emotional parts, and leave the complicated and messy stuff to Logan alone. And if Thomas refuses to listen just because it’s Logan telling him the answer, then it puts everything at a standstill, including Logan’s purpose for even being there.

It frustrates him. He feels like he’s been put in this unwinnable position, always made out to be the bad guy when all he does is care about Thomas’ survival and wellbeing.

[lyrics:

I couldn’t ever give up on you

But don’t thank me]

He, quite literally, could never stop doing his job as Thomas’ Logic. He could never stop doing his part, keeping everything afloat, making sure that Thomas can still function, even when Thomas’ mental health is fighting against him at every turn.

Throughout all of Working Through Intrusive Thoughts, we see Logan pause or postpone his plans so he can redirect Thomas and attempt to salvage his mental health, give him time to refocus. He knows it’s a priority right now. He has learned time and time again that emotions are more important than logic in this world, even if logic is the reason he knows and can implement ways to help Thomas to calm down and manage those emotions.

Logan knows by now that he can only help when he’s asked to or when he’s needed most, but after every obstacle and barrier he’s managed to push through, after being the only one who cares enough to do anything to help, he’s left tired and frustrated. He just wants Thomas to listen, for once, for his own benefit, so that he might understand what it is Logan hasn’t been able to say because he’s been pushed down and away for so long.

He shouts out “Stop ignoring me!” to Remus, but Remus knows it’s not really him that he wants to yell that at, and he’s right. Logan’s frustration is mostly with Thomas, and this song shows that very clearly.

He won’t give up on him because he physically can’t, but maybe he has stopped caring about why that is. Maybe he will just do his job, meet the bare minimum of expectations, and not care about the rest anymore.

When Thomas asks him “What’s next?” in the Have I Grown? anniversary video, Logan simply responds, “You tell me.”

He knows his opinion doesn’t matter. He knows no one listens to what he has to say. His suggestions are ignored, his advice is unwanted. Why should he bother giving a damn any longer if Thomas and the other sides clearly don’t give a damn about him?

And that’s where we get to the next song, Erase Me by Ben Folds Five.

This is a very pivotal moment, and it’s notable that it seems to be something that will happen in the near future of the series, because, as of the last song, we have already surpassed all currently released (and relevant) episodes of Sanders Sides in this timeline of the playlist. Erase Me will be related to whatever happens next in Logan’s arc, which also means everything from here on out is more of a prediction than an analysis.

[lyrics:

What was our home?

Paper, not stone

A lean-to, at most]

There’s a lot going on from the very start of this song. First, Logan’s perspective of the mindscape, the “family” of Thomas’ sides, and the system they’ve been using to keep Thomas going was clearly built on shaky foundation, paper-thin and ready to fall at a moment’s notice. Patton holding back negative emotions and then pushing Thomas to prioritize others over himself, Roman pushing himself too far and letting passion fuel Thomas’ every move in desperate attempts to look like the good guy, Virgil’s persistent presence alone despite his efforts to do better only to turn around and assume the worst of Thomas’ opinion of him, Janus’ meddling and his attempts to get Thomas to understand his issues without saying anything outright and only confusing him more and making him feel more guilty, and Remus being abrasive and outlandish to grab Thomas’ attention at every chance he has even if it comes at a detriment to Thomas’ health. It really was only a matter of time before things fell through.

Thomas struggling the way he has been was bound to happen because he wasn’t taking care of himself, he would only listen to some sides far more than others and wasn’t listening to his voice of reason much at all. This created an unfair and, at times, toxic environment for the sides to live and work in. All of them constantly trying to grab Thomas’ attention was what kept them from paying attention to Thomas and what he needed instead.

This became increasingly evident after Janus showed up in the narrative, and has been explicitly clear since Remus’ arrival, too. Thomas is not doing well mentally, and his sides are all stressed out which is making it worse. Logan can recognize all this from a detached, outside perspective despite also being just as affected. He’s been trying to keep things together for Thomas, working on his own to fulfill every role being left undone while the others are too upset to handle things as they typically could, but unfortunately, Logan’s finding it hard to care anymore.

[lyrics:

And when you pulled

Your half away

Gravity won

Like it always does

Did I weigh a ton?

Would it be easier

To just delete

Our pages and the plans we made?]

So, this song is sung in a very accusatory tone, poking at a specific person (mainly because it is originally a break-up song). The speaker is very upset and angry with the other party, and they are relaying their observations and asking why, asking if it was their fault this happened.

“And when you pulled your half away” implies that Logan was not the instigator of whatever preceded this incident, but as we saw with the last song, Logan holds some beliefs about Thomas and the other sides that are not fully true but are not exactly contested either. He could easily see their insistence in pushing him away, ignoring him, and refusing to listen even when Thomas is in desperate need of help as their act of pulling away from him, even if he is the one who has finally let go.

And while I don’t want to get too particular with my predictions, I do believe it’s very possible a last straw for Logan at this juncture may very well involve Thomas’ mental health and what he genuinely needs for survival.

If you’ll remember, Logan now believes he is only truly needed when it is absolutely necessary and there are no other options, or if he is specifically requested to help in some way, so if there is a situation that requires his attention, only for him to show up and be rejected yet again, he may just give up at that point.

And Logan thinks he is the only side genuinely looking out for Thomas, not just for his needs but his wants, as well. Thomas had specifically asked for his help in the Working Through Intrusive Thoughts episode, only for him to take on multiple roles to keep Thomas calm enough to handle himself. And Logan was the only one who bothered to ask Thomas what He wanted in the Can Plushies Improve Our Health? promo video, before even making his argument that everyone else assumed would be in opposition but turned out not to be.

Logan sees himself as that last remaining straw, really. If something is going to finally break him, it will be Thomas and the others. It will be their negligence, their refusal, their rejection of him that finally bends him too far, pushing him to a point where nothing can ever be the same again.

[lyrics:

So what will you do

With no me for you

I know what we said

What if I left

A thing or two?

We know that you don’t seem

To think about what you need

‘Til you reach to find that you’ve—

Erased me]

Like I said, Logan sees himself as the only one holding Thomas together. He believes that, without him, everything would fall apart and turn to chaos, and he’s probably right about most of that.

These lyrics are the speaker predicting what will occur, that the others won’t even notice his absence until they need him for something, and that’s when they’ll realize he’s already gone. This indicates a potential plan to leave, maybe not fully ducking out but certainly not sticking around either. Something that would keep Thomas’ logic functional for use while also allowing Logan a reprieve from him and the other sides, where he would only be used as one would a tool; tucked away in storage until the moment it is needed, then put right back afterward.

Leaving is the key here, though, and it’s something we’ve already seen result in detriment to Thomas back in Accepting Anxiety Pt 1 & 2, and yet, Logan has come to believe that this is a favorable option. Why? Is this to help him feel vindicated, to teach them a lesson?

It's not as though they want him around enough to stop him from leaving anyway.

You know, both the title and chorus of this song portray a very particular message, as “erase me” is not the speaker’s action, because he is not the one erasing himself. Rather, it is a suggestion to the other party so that they can finally be rid of the speaker. The lyrics are also taunting with these words, as if to say that this is what the other party has wanted all along anyway so they should just do it already.

Logan is asking, pleading, for Thomas to let him go because he obviously doesn’t even want him around. Logan doesn’t want to put up with this anymore, and as angry as he is at how he’s been treated, he knows he can’t just give up on Thomas, he’s literally a part of him. This has to be Thomas’ decision, Thomas’ action. Thomas has to be the one to push Logan away, the one to erase him.

Logan isn’t just angry at this point, he’s miserable. He knows he’s unwanted and barely needed, as he serves so little purpose to Thomas in his current career and doesn’t get along with any of the other sides despite everything he has tried to do to correct that. They’ve made it clear they don’t want him around, and they have already proven they can solve issues on their own without his help. He doesn’t need to be there, so why won’t Thomas just let him go?

[lyrics:

Erase me, and you’ll never have to face me

Erase me, Option-Command-Escape me

And if you feel nothing, guess what I wanna be?]

A fun little tidbit of knowledge here, but the Option-Command-Escape function on an Apple computer is its force-quit option, to completely cease a program from running. The program can’t do this itself; the user has to combine those three keys to make it happen. And when they do, the program will have closed and shut down completely. Often this is used when a program isn’t working the way it’s supposed to, when it fails to do its job. By doing this, you put it out of its misery.

Logan isn’t just asking to leave, to only benefit Thomas from afar or only as needed, he is essentially begging for death. He no longer wishes to function at all, because he believes he has no purpose to Thomas or the others. He is pleading for Thomas to let him go, find someone else who could do a better job as his Logic, someone who they’d actually enjoy having around.

For Logan to reach this low of a point, something truly devastating has to have happened to him. I cannot possibly predict what may truly set him off in this way, but given the most recent events in the series, he isn’t all that far from this point already. Likely, it will involve his worth and use to Thomas, and it won’t just be that he was forgotten or tossed aside like in SVS and SVS:R, but that Thomas or the others doing something that will clarify his uselessness out loud, where it can no longer be denied. There will be a divide that leaves him alone on the other end, finally and truly aware that he will never belong here.

Desperation that turns to anger to hide away its shame and misery, Logan won’t just duck out like Virgil had in Accepting Anxiety Pt 1. He would lash out, make sure Thomas and the others knew exactly why he wanted to leave, and begging that they be the ones to cut that connection for him. Maybe he will do something to push the issue, to give them a reason to do it. Perhaps the Orange side will emerge at this point, either to assist him in whatever he’s trying to do or to take over for him or something else entirely.

Regardless of what happens, Logan has now hit a very low point, and everyone knows it.

The next song is Art is Dead by Bo Burnham, which by itself can imply quite a few things.

As if simmering down from the initial blast of heat in the last song, there's still anger and annoyance here, but also a realization.

Something I want you to understand about this song before we relate it to Logan and why it’s included in this playlist is that the speaker is talking about a position, specifically an entertainer, and is saying that what they do is problematic. The speaker is complaining about another party, only to then turn around and include themself within that party. They are not just saying “entertainers are bad and here’s 50 reasons why.” They are saying “entertainers are attention-seekers, and so am I.”

So, when you then put this into perspective with Logan and the message he’s been trying to convey, he is pointing out flaws that he sees in what is likely Roman, as well as Thomas, but he’s also including himself as part of the problem. He recognizes that he, too, seeks attention – from Thomas, from the other sides, from the audience. And he doesn’t feel that it’s a good thing, he sees it as shameful because he knew why it was an issue, and yet he kept doing it anyway.

This seems like a moment of self-reflection, to see that he is not above the others at all, in fact he’s not that different from them when it comes down to what they all want, which is Thomas’ attention. Every single one of them is trying to be heard, but Thomas has only been listening to some of them. And most of them never feel that what they do get is enough, no matter how much it is.

This song shows that Logan knows he wants Thomas’ attention, but also that he doesn’t feel he’s done enough to deserve it. He believes he hasn’t even earned a right to complain like he has. He’s ashamed for how he’s acted because he thought he was supposed to be better than this. He doesn’t deserve the respect he thought he was owed; he doesn’t deserve anything.

With this song, he has somehow managed to dig even lower than his last low point, he’s just sorry for all the trouble he’s caused. Maybe his emotions got out of hand, maybe the Orange side caused problems but it was his fault because he let it happen – who knows? Even if he felt vindicated in the moment, it was clearly fleeting, and now, after the events of what happened, Logan only feels worse.

And then we get to Equation from The Little Prince next on the playlist, and we’re still in that zone of self-reflection, but it’s no longer about how Logan’s just like the others. No, now it’s all about his own flaws, his own failures, and everywhere that he’s fallen short.

Logan has now managed to dig even deeper than his lowest low, folks! It just gets worse and worse! Can you believe it?

[lyrics:

Will I ever know

How white is the snow

Does it matter after all?

Will I ever learn

How to fly like birds]

In this lowest point, Logan can only come up with questions that have been left unasked. Did he hurt Thomas? Did he ruin whatever he had with the other sides? Will he be forever trapped in this world Thomas created for them, with no way to truly explore the real world, to see its full wonder? Will he ever have a chance to do better, to be better, to hope again? Will he ever reach his true potential? Did he ever even have a true potential?

He had attempted and failed to find perfection for so long. He believed it was just a matter of trying, of wanting to meet Thomas’ expectations of him, that if he put his all into it, then he could see it through and be what exactly what Thomas wanted him to be, to be what everyone expected him to be, to be what Logan himself hoped to be.

Hours, days, weeks, years… In the end, it was never truly possible, and yet he had kept foolishly hoping for so long that he could be enough for Thomas. He had called the others’ ideas irrational, when, really, it was him all along with the impossible dreams.

[lyrics:

Are you good as gold?

Are you far from hope?

Are you well alone,

Dad?

Will I be a brave?

Will I be a bright?

Will I be a good grown-up?]

The future was never certain, but now Logan could never be sure of anything. What will become of him? What will become of Thomas? Is it even possible to recover from this, to start over, to get better?

We then move on to the next song, Sunrise from In The Heights. Logan is not doing well, but something he definitely needs more than anything right now is some sort of hope and motivation to keep trying and keep going.

Sunrise appears to be a song meant to involve either Roman or Patton communicating with Logan, but the purpose in its placement on this playlist seems to infer emotion as a motivation to learn, if you break the romantic intent away from the song itself, that is. Anything can motivate one to learn, even love, and Logan must be able to recognize this and understand that emotions and intelligence do not have to have a clear separation and can instead work in tandem. Learning isn’t just about curiosity or survival, it can have very emotional ties, as well.

For so long in the series, Logan has insisted he did not have emotions, even when this was clearly false. He believed that keeping himself removed from emotions would help him succeed in his job as Logic, that the others would be able to rely on him much more if they could trust his knowledge to be unbiased and unmotivated by unpredictable emotions. He assumed that divide between the two was necessary, and that if the two merged or collided, he would be unfit to do his job, that he would not be taken seriously.

However, doing this kept him from understanding and processing his own emotions as well as being unable to empathize with Thomas and the other sides. He only grew to misunderstand and mistrust emotions more and more as time went on, becoming startled and confused at his own outbursts, not aware of why he would feel a certain way or have a certain reaction to a situation, because he refused to let himself experience that emotion, to feel it. His lack of understanding directly resulted from his choice not to engage with emotions at all, despite their importance.

And finding that importance is where this song comes in, because the crucial point Logan had been missing all this time was that emotions can encourage one to learn, inspire one to research. Love can motivate someone to learn a new language, so they can communicate, as we hear in this song. But something like anger can motivate someone to research an important topic so they can fight for what they believe in with facts on their side. Sadness can inspire someone to look into advice and ways to help, not just for oneself but for others, too, employing empathy and logic side by side. Fear can motivate someone to find truth, to create familiarity with routines and schedules, to calm down cognitive distortions to maintain peace of mind.

Logic and emotions do not need to be separated; they can work together very well. In fact, most people use both in tandem every day.

For so long, Logan had set for himself a barrier he could not, would not cross. He knew there was nuance to the world but learned over time that he could not display his own. He resorted to that black-and-white thinking for the others' benefit and then to his own, finding that it was all-or-nothing when it came to Logic or Emotions. He believed one would merely taint the other, so they must be kept apart, even if that left only he alone on the other side, as the only logical side.

Despite the unfairness and discomfort, he didn’t want to challenge what he had come to think was right, what he’d been using as his basis for how he was supposed to act, which is why he refused to learn more about it, to never dare change the perception that he held.

He had given up, letting the world and its arbitrary rules dictate who he was and how he should be…but that was never meant to happen.

Once he realizes where his thoughts had steered him wrong, it will be like a whole new world of opportunities has suddenly opened up to him, giving him so much more to explore and learn. It will give him what he was missing this whole time. It will bridge the gaps he’d been unable to cross.

Logan does serve a purpose, and it's an incredibly important one, but it’s not something he was ever meant to do completely alone like he has been.

And that, of course, is where we get to the next song, One More Time with Feeling by Regina Spektor.

Firstly, this is a song about recovery, which is definitely where Logan would be by now in the story, processing what happened, and attempting to move forward and do better. As many know, recovery is not linear, and it’s certainly not perfect.

But given everything that has happened, it’s not all on Logan to improve himself on his own. Yes, he will need to allow himself to feel emotions so that he can understand them better, and he’ll need to learn ways to implement feelings alongside intelligence when working with the other sides to help Thomas, but the other sides need to do their part here, as well.

They have pushed him away, refused to listen to him for so long, often for petty reasons that blossomed into their eventual negligence. It won’t be easy to fix that level of miscommunication between Logan and the others. It’s not as simple as Logan finally speaking up, or the others promising to do better; it will require a lot of work from both ends before anyone can truly meet in the middle on this.

Logan had spent a lot of time before all this, trying to find ways to meet the others halfway, only to met with nothing in return. He gave up so much of himself, and now resents their choice to only take and never give anything back. Once the others finally reciprocate and show that they do genuinely care about him, only then will Logan have the chance to start this journey, to finally begin to get better.

The lyrics that we hear a few times in this song “this is why we fight” can have multiple connotations, such as an explanation of why the group miscommunicates and argues so much, why they don’t get along. But it can also mean that this is their motivation to keep trying, to fight for what they believe in.

I believe both of these meanings are present in Logan’s perspective of this song.

[lyrics:

Oh, everyone takes turns, now it’s yours to play the part

And they’re sitting all around you, holding copies of your chart

And the misery inside their eyes is synchronized and reflecting into yours]

Earlier on in the song, Logan believes that the others don’t understand his predicament, even if they want to help. They are still separate from him, even if they’ve all had their own issues to overcome, that doesn’t mean they actually comprehend what he’s going through, how it feels, what it means.

He experiences the world so differently from the rest of them. How could they ever possibly understand?

They are pushing him to do something he cannot do well – to open up, to reach out, to feel – and it’s only condescending and antagonistic how they keep insisting that he try again every time he fails.

“This is why we fight” during the chorus is his condemnation of their actions, that he doesn’t think the others can meet him at his level. He is not in a place yet where he can believe they’ll listen to what he’s actually saying, he can’t trust that they’ll bother to explain these unknown things to him in a way he can understand. And this is why they continue to fight, to argue, to not get along, because they aren’t properly communicating, they’re just making the same mistakes again and again.

[lyrics:

You thought by now you’d be so much better than you are

You thought by now they’d see that you had come so far

And the pride inside their eyes would synchronize into a love you’ve never known

So much more than you’ve been shown]

Logan thought he would be better, not just in regard to being the best he can be for Thomas, to succeed as his Logic, to know what to do, and to have the answers, but also in terms of his own recovery. It’s difficult, and some days are worse than others; he makes progress and then he doesn’t, and it’s shameful because he has such high expectations for himself.

He’s so used to aiming for perfection that when failure is consistent like this, it feels wrong to be told it’s actually okay, that it’s normal.

But he wants to prove that Thomas’ efforts and the efforts from the other sides have not gone to waste on him, that he is improving. And yet, he keeps failing anyway. He was supposed to be perfect; he was supposed to be reliable! But now look at him. Even with their help, he’s still messing things up.

He just wants to make them proud, he wants to earn that attention and respect that he couldn’t get before, even if he knows he still doesn’t deserve it. He wants to prove that maybe he can deserve it, though.

“This is why we fight” during the next chorus is his agreement with the others, that this is the motivation to keep trying, to keep going. Someday, he can be better. Someday, he will be respected and trusted and relied upon in the ways that he wants. Someday, they’ll be proud of him.

Until then, the fight is worth it.

This leads directly into In My Mind by Amanda Palmer as the next song, as we see Logan has held very high expectations for himself, which is why failure had hurt so much. But now that things have changed, he may be beginning to challenge these expectations, to expand upon them and understand that he has a chance for something different now.

[lyrics:

Because I will be the picture of discipline

Never minding what state I’m in

And I will be someone I admire]

Part of the issue really did come down to lyrics like “never minding what state I’m in” because Logan never put himself as a priority. This entire time, even at his lowest point, Logan was never the one who was important, not even to himself.

He was okay with this because this was never about him, it was about what Thomas needed or wanted. His willingness to bend and remake himself to benefit the others was surely a sentiment shared by all of them, that this was just what was needed to accomplish his job.

It’s not until Logan finally realizes that this is not the case, that he needs to put himself in some priority, too, that he’ll ever begin to improve and truly get better, able to be himself or enjoy anything he does again.

A big part of recovery is not setting your motivation on someone or something else – you need to get better because you want to be better. You need to believe you deserve to be happy, to get the things you want. Logan can say he’s doing this to benefit Thomas, to build back a relationship with the other sides, to earn back his position and demand respect as Logic, but that will only fail until his motivation is simply that it’s something he wants to do, for him. When attached to others and their expectations, those strings only come with guilt and can end up making his situation worse.

Logan has to do this for himself.

[lyrics:

And it’s funny how I imagined

That I would be that person now

But it does not seem to have happened

Maybe I’ve just forgotten how to see

That I’m not exactly the person that I thought I’d be]

It starts with recognition, the realization that he hasn’t met those expectations he held for himself. There’s still judgement and he still feels guilty about it, wondering how he could have let it get to this point. Maybe he just wasn’t paying attention properly, maybe he should have remembered that he’d already decided long ago about perfection being unattainable and how that was supposed to apply to him, too.

[lyrics:

Not like me now

I’m so busy with everything

That I don’t look at anything

But I’m sure I’ll look when I am older]

He regrets having missed out on the present, not having the chance to experience the wonder of the world that he so admires due to all his efforts towards achieving perfection and doing his best to handle everything by himself. He was so busy trying to do everything so precisely and getting the result he wanted that he hadn’t given himself the opportunity to enjoy anything in all that time.

He could do activities if they were productive, if they served a purpose, but he was a hypocrite, always aware and sharing the wonder of the universe and all that exists within it, amazed by the here and now, yet spending all his time locked in, looking away from the present while trying so hard to maintain it.

How long did he spend, convincing himself that just as soon as he achieves what he set out to do, then he would have time to do that? How long would he have kept going if something hadn’t finally snapped and broken everything, forcing him to confront this?

Would he have missed out? Would he have been somehow worse?

[lyrics:

And it’s funny how I imagined that I could be that person now

But that’s not what I want, but that’s what I wanted

And I’d be giving up somehow, how strange to see

That I don’t wanna be the person that I want to be]

Finally, a breakthrough. While not quite acceptance, Logan is finally starting to see the difference, that he wants things in a different way now than he did before.

He kept trying to strive for perfection in his recovery, but didn’t he recall how badly that had gone last time? He knew perfection wasn’t attainable, but he believed that was the expectation Thomas and the others had for him. He kept trying to get to it, no matter what it cost him, and that’s how he wound up here in the first place.

And now, after everything, things have changed. Thomas is listening, at least more than before. The others do care, and try to make sure he knows it, too. Logan had wanted to get better, to make them proud, to prove that he deserved what they were offering to him, but… that wasn’t even the point of it all.

All this time, he’d thought he still needed to be perfect, that that was what he wanted, but now that he’s finally had a chance to look inside himself, to experience wonder and curiosity again, he has realized that what he really wanted was to be accepted.

He didn’t want to have to change himself so the others would listen, he just wished they would actually want to listen to him, to like him for who he is, to let him be himself without requiring him to change, to only be the best, only what was needed, only Logic.

He wanted to be more than Logic; he wanted to be Logan.

With that, he finally realizes that doesn’t have to focus on perfection for Thomas’ sake and survival. He can focus more on himself more instead, on what he actually wants from the world, what he wants to do, and what he wants to try. He can be what he wants to be – more than Thomas’ Logic.

Having finally realized what it’s all for and being given the time to explore that, we get to the next song, Not Perfect by Tim Minchin.

This is a song that attempts to use facts and knowledge to explain feelings and thoughts, bringing context to situations that Logan had struggled in doing before this point. Finally beginning to understand what it is that’s going on inside, what these feelings are and why they’re there, to have the words he needs to adequately describe it to someone else, it all must be so relieving.

There’s still uncertainty, sure, but it’s a lot less stressful now, knowing there’s a way to talk to the others, to actually communicate what he means. He may still be startled, caught unawares, but he doesn’t have to shove it down and away anymore. He knows how to pause and reflect, let himself experience it, and he knows how to control his own behavior in reaction to it.

It’s far from perfect, and there’s still a lot he’ll need to learn, but he does so enjoy learning, doesn’t he?

[lyrics:

This is my earth and it’s fine

It’s where I spend the vast majority of my time

It’s not perfect, but it’s mine

It’s not perfect…]

Another thing to note about this song is the ownership behind most of the lyrics. “This is my earth” and “it’s not perfect, but it’s mine.” That sense of belonging is something that Logan has always wanted, and to be able to not only express that, finally, but to feel that it is real, that he is no longer just an outside observer but a part of the world as a whole, must be incredible.

He’s finally found his place, and though it was here all along, he no longer feels trapped in a cage or left collecting dust on a shelf. He has his place, he knows he’s a part of something greater, and that he’ll be appreciated for who he is.

This song has a perfect matching bookend, by the way; it’s three songs from the end of the playlist whereas Algoryhthm was three from the start. Both of these songs involve one’s differing view of the world, recognizing not only how it works but their place within it. One deals with that negatively, the other more positively.

In Algorhythm, Logan still had wonder for the expanse of the world but found himself trapped by the parameters being set. It didn’t matter that he knew things didn’t have to run in this way, he had no power to change it. He was given no other choice but to give up and go with the flow. He could only change himself to match it, knowing he was an outsider who didn’t belong but had to make do with his circumstances.

In Not Perfect, however, he still has that differing view of the world, but instead of being the outlier, he’s now able to find comfort in knowing he has a place within this world. There are so many wonders everywhere, all around, in the biggest and smallest of things. Yes, he sees the world differently, but so do others, and that’s amazing! He may feel alone at times, he may feel infinitesimal among the great expanse of the universe, but he is never truly alone. He knows he belongs here. He has those who understand him, and he doesn’t have to change for anyone. The world can accept him for who he is, always.

It's as though whoever curated this playlist knew precisely what they were doing. They cared deeply enough to ensure this story, Logan’s story, was told exactly the way it was meant to be, to describe the highs and lows, to explain the truth behind every note, and to inspire with hope anyone else who may be struggling, as well. This story, this playlist, says to us calmly and clearly that everything is going to be okay. It’s not perfect, but it’ll be okay.

In Human by Tank and the Bangas, we get to hear that acceptance, that love on full display.

Things have finally slowed down now, a song for a moment that comes at a more comfortable and soothing pace. Logan finally has the time to look around and see what he’s been missing while he’s been so busy with everything else.

This is another song that uses facts not only to describe and evoke emotions, but to inspire awe and wonder. Emotion-driven curiosity, channeling all the wonders of the world, of you, as your inspiration and guide to learn more and appreciate the here and now.

[lyrics:

Don’t you ever become complicit

With living life on a shelf]

Logan had gone so long pushing away parts of himself simply because they were flawed, not partaking in his interests because they didn’t fit the mold he so desperately wanted to fill. But now that he’s found his place, he can appreciate his chance to finally be more, to explore and share what he’s learned, knowing he’ll be heard.

Something we’ve seen from Logan since the very beginning is just how deep and wide his wonder goes. He loves the world, the universe, and everything found within it. He holds such fascination for the innumerable amount of living species in the world, for all the technology that’s been created and built, for every concept born of a mind. Logan loves the world so much, and he wishes so much for others to cherish what can be learned from it, as every moment, something new emerges. So many possibilities, so many chances to do more, see more, be more.

Logan was never meant to be someone who was pushed away, kept from the world that he loves so dearly. And now that he finally has the chance to be himself, to be accepted for who he is, we see that he immediately turns to what he loves most: wonder, and the opportunity to share it with others.

Knowledge can do so much for so many, but it’s best purpose is to be shared openly and freely, given to all who will take it. It’s not meant to be inaccessible, locked away, kept elite behind paywalls and tuition fees. It’s a part of what makes the world as amazing as it is, and Logan knows this and wants it to be shared.

[lyrics:

You have to continue to live

There are too many more interesting lessons]

Logan had made it his upmost priority in life to ensure Thomas’ survival, but this was something that eventually led to him burned out, begging for his own life to end instead. This journey, this long arc full of ups and downs, gave Logan the chance to see that his priorities were misaligned. He needed to take care of himself, he needed to give himself significance, because otherwise, he’d be constantly pouring from an empty cup.

He had to choose not only to live but to give himself the chance to do what humans do, to experience life, to enjoy it. Whatever time they have, they will make the most of it, because it can’t just be about survival.

Back in the song Algorhythm, Logan learned that humans do things very differently, that they don’t always act in ways that make sense, that sometimes they don’t prioritize survival despite its importance. In Fitter Happier, his interpretation of what it meant to be human was so disconnected from reality, misunderstanding what it was truly all for. But now, he has been given the chance to experience that broader spectrum; he’s no longer cut off from emotions and the ties they make to every moment in life.

There is so much more you can do with emotions as your guide, as the heartbeat to fuel your curiosity, your will to keep learning.

[lyrics:

And if you never knew

That that was enough to just be

You obviously don’t know

A thing]

This song has marked this moment out clearly for Logan, that he is finally an important and valued part of Thomas, that he belongs here and has a place here with the other sides, within the world, within the show. And it wasn’t perfection and changing himself to suit their needs that got him there. He was able to accept himself and give himself the freedom to explore and discover more, to find his own way to benefit Thomas, to be Logic, without strings, without repression, without solitude.

Being unabashedly himself was enough. He was enough for Thomas.

And then we get to the last song on the playlist, Time Adventure from Adventure Time.

A charming song to complete the set, to bring us back to how happy and smiling Logan had started out at the beginning of it all, though this time there’s a lot more depth to that smile. He knows more now; he’s learned and changed and improved in ways he never knew possible at the start of all this.

[lyrics:

Time is an illusion that helps things make sense

So we’re always living in the present tense

It seems unforgiving when a good thing ends

But you and I will always be back then

You and I will always be back then]

Existentialism with a positive twist, Logan can recognize the world for what it is, for how it works. But there is always that encouragement to remember where we all are, in the here and now.

Logan values the present the most, even if he’s someone we know who relies on the past for experience and the future for motivation. In comparison, Roman values the future and what it can hold, Patton values the past and what it can mean, and Virgil mixes between the past and the future to keep Thomas on a steady path. Logan is one of the only sides, other than perhaps Janus, who values the present moment above all else.

He wants Thomas to see what’s right in front of him instead of ignoring it for what he remembers of the past or what he hopes for the future. It’s okay to want those things, to appreciate them, but disregarding the present only results in missing out on the world around him, on what’s already available to him right now.

Logan sees Thomas’ potential and aspires for him to achieve it, but he can’t keep his mind on faraway goals without doing what he can in the present. Make a plan today that you can enact tomorrow. Brainstorm that story right now so you can write it later. Hug that friend today so you can remember it later when you miss them. There’s always a reason to act in the present, to live your life right here and now.

This ending song shows us that Logan has grown so much, and came to be happy at the end of the story. He’s come to understand himself, the others, Thomas, and the whole world so much better than ever before and is better for it. From this point on, things will surely be different, but now he has everything he needs to face anything that may come his way. He can rely on his knowledge, but also trust that he has his friends at his side, that he has their support. He knows Thomas values him and what he has to say, and that he can tell him when things are tough, when he needs him to listen.

He is heard. He is loved. And he loves in turn, all without having to do anything but be himself.

Something I absolutely adore about these last few songs on the playlist is that even though Logan is doing better now, after everything he’s gone through, he’s not showing this newfound satisfaction and happiness in the ways that you’d expect of most people. He’s doing it his own way, the way he likes doing it, and he’s thriving for it!

He prefers to work alone, having the time to think and contemplate strategies and plans without interruption. He likes reading in a quiet room, exploring fascinating new worlds and concepts all on his own. He likes sharing what he’s learned, and being relied upon for his knowledge, given the opportunity to explain ideas to others in the hopes that it will fascinate them and encourage them to learn more themselves.

He's not changing himself to do what others want of him. He’s not trying to fit some mold, to be okay by anyone else’s standards. He’s just…being Logan. And that’s everything I could ever want for him.

This playlist has involved such an amazing journey for Logan; it’s a story told through something humans will always love to share – music!

It showed us every crucial moment of Logan's arc, from what we've already seen in the show to what we know is bound to come next. It's clear that Logan has so much more to learn, especially from the other sides, who will be able to understand him once they finally try to communicate effectively and work together for Thomas and for themselves. The situation will improve, they will be happy, someday.

Someday, we’ll get to see the real conclusion to this character’s story, and until then, we can hold out hope for a good ending.

#logan sanders #sanders sides analysis #sanders sides #ts logan #logan angst #long post #like extremely long post #this is basically a very long winded way of saying that i hc logan as the biggest brooder to ever brood #so very broody and angsty #also yes i genuinely just write like this naturally and used to always be called a walking thesaurus #if you need clarification on anything i am always glad to extrapolate on my thoughts #especially because there was so much more i wanted to say here but i needed to reel it in haha #orbs thought bubbles #oh one last thing - i transcribed these lyrics myself in this post bc most websites were so incredibly wrong with these

[kestalsblog]

Thoughts on "Loser, Baby" Song

From what I’ve seen, viewers are extremely divided on the impact of the song “Loser, Baby” in the fourth episode of Hazbin Hotel. I’ve decided to share my own thoughts on the sequence below. Warning that this is a long post, and if you are triggered and upset by the song and/or episode, I encourage you not to read. I understand and respect any individual analysis, and if you were hurt by the song in any way, you are 100% valid. Others who feel differently are also valid. All I ask for is that same respect.

I don’t believe the only people qualified to speak on media are those who can relate to it, but I feel, given the conversation surrounding the episode, I should briefly mention my own background, so people don’t assume I am trying to speak on behalf of other survivors here. As a preface, I was in a severely abusive long-term relationship, so I can understand multiple perspectives here.

First, since Husk is a gambler, it’s safe to read the song as an extended metaphor for gambling too, in which case “loser” takes on the literal meaning– someone who has lost the game. Husk reminds Angel that many of us are dealt the shitty hand in life, and that the best way to get through the game is simply to go together. That’s probably the simplest positive analysis, but I think it's important to keep in mind throughout the whole song so that we don't read "loser" only as "failure" or "scum of society."

The most understandable criticism, though, is that the piece is blaming victims by attacking them and trivializing their experiences. I’m the most on the side of this argument at the words “whiny bitch,” which feel like an odd choice considering Husk has been nudging Angel to open up throughout the entire episode. It’s not my favorite line, but I can handle it only if we read the song as Husk actually singing to himself and calling himself these names as a means for Angel to see that he feels the same.

I do have some fondness for the song’s language as it continues, though. Excuse me for referencing my own personal experience here, but it’s relevant to my understanding.

Eventually in my healing journey, I realized writing and speaking affirmations to myself like “you’ll get better soon!” and “time heals everything!” were making me feel worse and frustrated. I felt like I was just waiting around for this magical deadline when I would “improve” or “recover,” and when that didn’t happen, I felt terrible about myself because I felt like a failure on top of damaged goods. I was letting myself down.

I reached a cathartic moment one day when I admitted to myself, “Maybe things are never going to get better, and I am always going to feel ruined by this.” Confessing this possibility allowed me to realize that, despite the fact that I am a “loser” in that I lost time, innocence, my old sense of security, and my carefree nature from before, I can still experience meaningful and even joyful moments in this new, altered condition.

At one point in the sequence, lots of flashing signs point terrible, degrading names at Husk and Angel. I can see why this might be upsetting to some viewers who are adamant that the characters do NOT represent those labels, but there is an obvious alternate reading that these are just the names both have assigned themselves over the years. By putting them bright and on display, they can face their self-hatred directly and reclaim their honest selves. (Let me pause here to say it's also crucial to remember Husk is not directly calling Angel any of these names). The solo lights then disappear and are replaced first with the soft blue raindrops moment where Husk shields Angel with the umbrella, and finally with the single LOSER where they both can dance together.

Most importantly, the lyrics gesture toward surprisingly affirmative by the song’s conclusion: “Eat shit together, things will turn out differently / It’s time to lose your self-loathing / Excuse yourself, let hope in, baby / Play your card, be who you are.”

Husk isn’t disregarding the possibility of hope, even in the gutter for the losers. In fact, he directly welcomes the possibility that the game can change with company, and self-hatred won’t be beneficial toward supporting that change. Even if we are dealt the losing hand, he reminds us the game is still worth playing. He reminds Angel again and again that it's okay to be who he is. And now "loser" assumes a new connotation - losing the negativity, the hatred, the things that are holding them back.

Significantly, after this point, no more self-negatives are even spoken, not even "loser" again because Husk and Angel are interrupted before the crucial word “me” when they sing that final line “loser just like—” Any connection to the self now has been effectively erased, reminding us that Angel and Husk may have made poor choices, may have been given crappy cards, but they are not losers in the sense that they are not less of people.

Last, it’s important to remember that the song is not meant to speak for everyone. It can't. If we’re going to be strict about it, it’s not for any survivors except Angel, and as we can see by his shifting mood, it certainly helps him feel better in the moment. The whole episode has been about Husk trying to encourage him to “break down his walls” and stop feigning the super inflated ego act he typically puts on, so, in one way, it becomes a “let’s get Angel past the self-loathing that’s preventing him from being his real self so we can move on to something more genuine and happier together" tactic.

I know it’s hard to separate our lived experiences from media. Judging from the disparity in opinions I’ve read from survivors on the song, I’d say it’s been therapeutic for just as many as it’s been damaging.

Before I conclude, it's worth mentioning I also have my own critiques of the song. I mentioned one with the word “whiny.” Another potential issue is the difference between Angel and Husk’s problems. I’m not trying to minimize gambling addictions by any means, but I know many of us feel that Husk’s loss of a cushy social position because of gambling pales against the extreme bodily violence Angel faces. I think it would be odd for Husk not to attempt to comfort Angel in some way, and trying to relate is one of the most common ways of doing so, but I admit that the discrepancy in their situations bugged me throughout the number. Husk reminds Angel he's "not unique" in his problems, which is important for survivors to remember (to know they are not alone), but it might mean a little more coming from someone on a similar playing field. The one redemptive thing I can say here though is that both characters sold their souls to someone with a tyrannical hold over them, and even though we know Alastor isn’t abusing Husk in the same way Val hurts Angel, we have yet to see the connotations of his power within that specific dynamic.

When push comes to shove, the song overall works for me, and I admit I felt seen while watching/listening, which isn't even something I really care about in media, but it was an interesting experience nonetheless. If you felt otherwise, I am sorry, and I encourage you to do your best to separate yourself from the media you consume and remember that every story, every song, is written by flawed people for flawed people. I mean it as fondly as possible, but we're all just losers "living in the same shit sandwich." Nothing will ever perfectly represent or encompass your own experience and healing. Analyze art respectfully for what it is, what it isn't, and what it can be.

What else can you do?

#hazbin hotel #loser baby #hazbin hotel loser baby #hazbin hotel husk #hazbin hotel angel dust #media analysis #hazbin hotel spoilers #thoughts #sensitive topics #kestal #huskerdust

[jacksmusesdrv3]

Your twin theory stuff has been going on for quite some time, have you considered making a run down on it because it’s a bit hard to find all your points and information on it because of how long you’ve spent on it and I’m very curious but struggling to put it all together

(Alright, take two since I got stuck for a loooong while)

This is a basic explanation of the Ouma-Monokuma twin theory! I will do my best to condense the concepts down in a way that flows simply and is easily understandable, but it will be hard to cover everything while keeping to the most relevant information. So if this doesn't do the job, I might finish the much longer meta on ao3 at a later date, in which I will cover… everything I possibly can, no holds barred and without the blog links. Which will take considerably longer and need very careful execution. (Yeah, this is the short version…)

General disclaimer: this is a view informed by at least six years of trial and error, ruminating in canon for patterns and their meaning. Through all this, I recognise that it is still a theory, and it doesn't make others’ ideas less meaningful. All the same, I need you to understand that this theory and its analysis is fundamental to my view of Danganronpa as a whole, not just my feelings about Ouma. And in my opinion, the presence of bad writing in DRV3 does not negate that view, either. So if you believe that it does, I hope we can agree to differ on our reader responses instead, after all is said and done. Thank you.

Alright, with that out of the way, dropping this under a cut as it's lengthy. Though rather than a lot of detail on what this means for Ouma's character right now, I'm going to dig through the surface with the basis of reframing, roles, academy history, psychology, narrative style for the mastermind, and the broader consequences, with feelings from my perspective to wrap up. I hope that will help give a perspective of the theory world, so that any evidence I give should fit easier in the future.

⚠️ Reader discretion is advised- this content details abuse further on and will be marked like this! ⚠️ 

[‘Then this story's not over.’]

The way I see this situation is basically like a 3D sculpture with two different pictures- ‘the fiction’ and ‘the conspiracy’. That is to say- in the ‘fiction’, there are things that are effectively motifs or throwaway remarks (such as, Ouma's comment about having a brother in his FTE), but in the ‘conspiracy’, they become clues to a hidden interconnected situation. A puzzle in the meta, essentially.

To begin, I’ll outline components of this framing, as these are necessary to understand how this turnabout works.

Catbox world: the question hanging in the air, 'is HPA fiction, or is it real'? What would the consequences of the latter be for the game and outside world of DRV3? In order to begin answering this, I think this way:

Domino effect: 'when you learn a new fact, you learn something else along with it'. Ex: if HPA is real, a very large and clandestine organisation may also be real, since one was connected to HPA's library. With that possibility opened, there are… a lot more potential threads coming from it.

Unreliable narrator: is there something Shuichi is missing? In Ouma's lab, along with the complete history file there are monitors and a hatch, and in his dorm room there’s a whiteboard with pictures and notes scrawled on, the latter two Shuichi doesn't even notice. There are things he cannot verify too - such as Rantaro's odd memory of the forgotten Prologue - which is left up to us, the players.

Contextual reframe: with the new information, we can infer for example that record keepers of the past are made obsolete, and since the HPA history was in Ouma's lab, this could make him a viable record keeper. If TDR's agenda is with historical record, its identity may be the secret society involved in conspiracies. This can greatly affect some of Ouma's comments in hindsight- one relevant to this is his FTE remark about ‘tricking the entire world’.

With doubt already on the most basic aspect of the 'fiction' narrative (that is, ‘HPA is fiction’) we can apply this principle to the Flashback Lights and by extension, the idea that the cast must also be fiction, too. 

Ex: Shuichi and Kiibo were made to see the Flashback Light panel in a way that was rigged up to be seen- it should not have been visible to multiple persons, so it's likely to have been tampered. We know Shuichi to be helpless with computers, so he would not be able to verify if anything else is amiss (ex. Kubs Pad and other options being withheld). What's more, with ‘fiction things’ - such as the Shukuchi method for Ryoma - being relevant in both the ‘weird backstory’ and in the main narrative, there's a possibility that some of the Lights are real memories or at least closely based on their real experiences.

[‘A liar like me knows their own kind.’]

When you reframe the context in an excessive manner like this, it can also affect known roles, even events and relationships. I reason it beginning like this:

Tsumugi becomes a patsy for Monokuma. Just like the fake Makoto in DR2 led the narrative to trap Hajime, Tsumugi misled others similarly, with incomplete knowledge of her own cospox. That is, her cospox being real in the sense of the effects on her person, doesn't necessarily mean that HPA is fiction, because it's about her perception

Kiibo becomes a patsy for Monokuma, someone whose true (military) nature was obfuscated to himself on a metaphysical level, via code-hijacking. This means that high-powered functions he has are strange to him, and he’s easily manipulated into believing lies about his function (such as ‘strength of a senior citizen’, and the ‘audience surveys’ that he cannot verify) 

Ouma becomes Monokuma’s double, like Mukuro taking the identity of Junko, as the monitors and hatch are a direct parallel to Junko. This means that Ouma has a deeper relationship and notably intrinsic connection to Monokuma as well as less freedom from him, likely has extensive knowledge of everyone, and has his own memories. And from that, an incentive to guide people he considers his friends, to minimise himself and his own struggles while working against Monokuma subtly, even to manufacture his disappearance in ch5 to take the fight to Monokuma alone

Shuichi becomes the ‘shadow mastermind’, like Izuru- the ‘traitor protagonist’ who sealed and sabotaged the group’s will to live, while losing his memory of that. This is reflected by Chapter 1's case, wherein he had created the perfect setup for Kaede to enact her own plan to kill, and had conflict over his actions that he had tried to shut away. It also provides context for Ouma being especially wary of Shuichi, noting on the whiteboard to ‘be cautious’ of him, especially if he has a relationship with Monokuma as well.

These are the big four as far as the mastermind agenda is concerned, but another interesting role-reframe is the Monokubs. Remember that Shirokuma and Kurokuma were fragments of the mastermind, and Shirokuma’s role in UDG is to deceive the player? What if the Monokubs had such a situation, split up into comedic personality fragments? Were the melodramas telling some sort of story as well- the story of Monokuma?

If so, there may be some clues from them. But first…

[‘Designed like a school’]

As to the academy’s lost mystery, it’s possible it was originally an experiment. Rantaro’s hunch was that there was ‘someone behind Monokuma’, and in Salmon mode he points out that Monokuma could have ‘taken over the facility’. A bunch of files in Shuichi’s lab suggest that the culprits of the scenarios were noted for their ‘tricks’, likely pertaining to their Ultimate talent. 

A concerning matter is that the details of the Gopher Project’s plans were crossed out, with us unable to see why youngsters of Ultimate status were required. Doubly concerning is that Ouma himself appears to have amazing, even supernatural ability, demonstrated in ch5 with his scripting- a talent such as that is in line with Junko’s abilities. 

Speaking of that, it must be said that Junko's true ability was left a mystery by the game's end. It was also a subject of much curiosity by HPA, so if Ouma is a supernaturally talented person, that could speak volumes as to his own position. His status as an 'invisible Ultimate’ alone raises questions as to why it has to be hidden, or rather, why he has to obscure it. It could be that he is oppressed by the talent system itself, and if that's the case, perhaps he is its guinea pig along with V3's Monokuma. But it's not just about Ouma's ability- if Monokuma too had a similarly strong supernatural talent and/or circumstance, that could explain not only his posing as a ‘god’, but Angie’s mysteriously intimate knowledge of others' personal ideals through such a ‘god’. That is, if she was possessed by someone with knowledge of the cast's ideals, and who was exploiting them in the Love Hotel. 

Moreover, if Ouma and Monokuma were supernaturally gifted, there's a good possibility that if the vault clues were a layered clue symbolic of them- the ‘light’ and ‘dark’ Monokumas depicted on the ‘twins’ clue for the vault - then they were not only siblings, but twins- identical twins. This allows for another ‘report card misidentification’ a la Junko-Mukuro, while the Flashback Light panel refers to the ‘Gamemaster’ rather than ‘ringleader’ (meaning an identical double could interact with it), and from a lore perspective, twins were known in Danganronpa Kirigiri to be the subject of (highly unethical) research, and identical twins would be the most sought after for genetics reasons.

Such research could eventually wind up creating Ouma and his brother - seemingly the highest of any known talents - through a form of eugenics, not unlike Byakuya’s backstory. From there, there's no telling what could have happened…

[‘Eh…?’]

Now I can get to the psychology behind the bear. If a person behind Monokuma had such a past with this academy, traits can be speculated:

⚠️ Content: incest, child abuse, sexual abuse, psych torture/institutionalisation. ⚠️ 

Vengeful: in ch2, Monokuma suggests he may hate the cast for something, and tells them to ‘work for the answer’. Interestingly, Monotaro (leader persona) makes note of ‘red lies’ in the Salmon mode, and red lies are for revenge. 

Extremely traumatised and mentally ill: if it is Ouma’s brother, and he’s wearing a straitjacket, this could imply institutional abuse. Monokuma’s behaviours in ch3 (a mental shutdown) and ch4 (depression) could denote severe mental damage, and having the academy cleared of bugs gives credence to him having an affliction with bugs like Ouma ( foaming at the mouth and passing out).

Depraved: in ch4, Ouma noted he would ‘strangle the one he loves’ to ‘keep his eyes on him’, and appears to play a similar threatening, possessive role in the Love Hotel. Implied in the Monokubs’ melodrama, Monokuma may have coerced his own sibling into having relations- though he may have forgotten his sibling entirely due to trauma.

People pleaser: Ouma says that he ‘lies to entertain people’ in his Salmon mode ending, which could reflect his persona (Monokuma)’s desires. It may be that his desire to ‘not be boring’ feeds into this persona, too, as it's something so serious to him that it was shown as basically a dying wish.

In this sense, the mastermind can be similar to Monaca- as she took control over the city (while Monokuma stated to have taken over the country), became mentally ill as a result of the abuse inflicted on her, lied (about an injury) in order to make her abusers nicer to her, and became depraved in a way childish and sadistic (in how she toys with Kotoko and Nagisa, for instance). There's also the narrative effect of obscuring her trauma with unreliable narrator, and even Monaca’s own warped sense of humour that obscures it in tandem.

[Twin with supernatural talent (Junko Enoshima), a result of experimentation (Izuru Kamukura), childishness complex (Monaca Towa) and all combined (Kokichi Ouma)]

For narrative styles, DRV3's Monokuma is a culmination of approaches to make the game’s mystery truly warped to its core. Taking the masterminds’ actions from the past games:

Junko selectively picked photographs to sow discord about the group’s reality

AI Junko (a plant by Izuru) tried to lead Hajime into making a choice without proper context

Monaca led Komaru through a growth journey to use her for impact at the end

These can be attributed to: 

the Flashback Lights- some real, others ‘rotten apples’, but overall context is dubious 

the ‘It is fiction’ declaration- may be a leading question, again with dubious context

Shuichi’s ‘confidence growth’- that makes him more credible to those watching outside

(As for ‘context being dubious’, it should be noted that the Twilight mystery has a similar vibe in terms of how it is chopped up and misrepresented on the first viewing. This is particularly interesting when you factor in the mixed Kubs Pads giving other characters information.)

Speaking of ‘using’, Monokuma talks about how someone could be used by expressions of gratitude. In parallel to this, Shuichi is talking about how he was happy to be ‘useful to others as a detective’, and regards their gratitude personally. But it’s concerning that Shuichi and his history is a topic for ‘Monokuma Theatre’, when you factor in what Monaca did in UDG.

The basic concept is: with Monokuma’s agenda towards the end being to throw out foreshadowing and mystery - to deny its purpose - he wants you to make the decision of ignoring the heart, discarding the mystery and the path to the answer. In this sort of vague and unnerving way, a ‘hidden mastermind’ is like a progression of Monaca’s style. Symbolically, Shuichi’s journey seems to be one where he is on the fringe of going astray the entire time, and in this reading, he ultimately does with the loss of the game's mystery. 

What follows is the player's re-examination of the canon context and in this case, a ‘salvage effort’ of what was lost. And ultimately, in the quagmire of broken context, Ouma's mixed relationship with Shuichi is fuel for thought, because his cryptic behaviour - like the game he plays in his FTE - keeps you guessing on what he's been trying to say.

[Members… of what?]

So, factoring in earlier recontextualisation - of the large organisation likely spanning the world - is the idea brought up during Ouma's FTE, that I question like this: could Shuichi have joined a nefarious organisation after all, and following in Salmon mode: is there any indicator Ouma has concerns about Shuichi’s intentions in general (that is, regardless of whether or not his past self would have been capable of less-than-moral decisions)? 

What about others in the cast- a Prime Minister who had run away from her post, a military robot, a super inventor, an assassin? An artist with odd brainwashing powers, a musician with the ability to connect to others’ hearts through music? Because given that the DR2 group had affected the world with their talents after being manipulated, it's possible that the V3 group’s talents had a similar part to play, too. For instance, Kaito’s FTE detailed the possibility of communicating with aliens, and trading technology with them- and as it happens, there is notably a very weird technology in the academy, capable of ridiculous feats. This kind of unknown in the narrative speaks of a whole world that we barely know, even now. 

If this kind of world is what Ouma is burdened by, something beyond the protagonist's understanding, that too is a story waiting to be told. And his strange interactions with Shuichi could be at the heart of this story…

[‘Just hit the reset button on your feelings’]

As for the relationship with Shuichi, that is particularly difficult to give in evidence- partly given the culprit in his backstory, and how if Monokuma was that culprit - someone with a strong agenda against Shuichi - that might link to both twins. But due to the death of one of the siblings in that backstory, it warrants a supernatural idea such as resurrection, that has yet to be proven viable in-universe. If we remember Angie having a weird supernatural air about her though, and that she was implied to be in a cult, you could still infer that cults were involved in the supernatural. It’s entirely possible that a high-profile cult had come to the point of using resurrections, although that’s very much deeplore, as is the supernatural in general.

So while I can’t say too much about technical lore, like with the organisation, I can talk about the vibes I have with the theory, to focus on a sense of grounding in character instead: 

“Ouma and Monokuma are both sidelined by the narrative. A not-insignificant part of that was caused by Shuichi in his past, even if he was led into the cause unwittingly, and the actions of Shuichi’s present self in missing memories. As a result, Ouma is in a nerfed position during the game despite his supernatural talent. Unable to say anything without surveillance, he is under a great deal of stress and pent up, ambivalent feelings - not least towards Shuichi and Monokuma -  that he tries mostly to deflect. After all, it would not do to give too much away, and ruin his own plans.”

I have a detailed ‘song lyric analysis’ of sorts to tie to this, as a way of exploring feelings. Part of the reason I’d go this far, is Ouma as the designated ‘narrative scapegoat’ has always just fit well for me, given that the cast is shown to struggle with their treatment of him. Even leaving analysis aside, I feel it would be very satisfying (cathartic, even!) to explore an angle where he was suppressed, and that his position was legitimately the consequence of others actions right from the start, making the whole ‘pretending to be a villain’ situation even more painfully ironic. 

Plus it would be a welcome change from the notion of ‘misguided morally-grey antagonist who needs to change’, in my opinion, as Ouma’s unchanging self is something I hold particularly strongly. So instead of the arc of drastic change, the thing to explore would be how he functions and struggles with others (in mundane as well as grand ways), and also gets them to change, to understand him. It would also be interesting to expand on the theme of talent abuse, to have a Monokuma who was a product of the corrupt talent system- rather like Izuru was, but this time fully present in the narrative, and in tandem with someone else connected to him.

Overall, I feel that a situation where the protagonist thinks he’s won, while a mysterious someone has been struggling in the sidelines to affect change, is a real goldmine for a mystery situation. Especially from replaying the game, and picking up odd signs that something may not have been what it seemed. There may not be much to go from there (as things stand right now, at least) but the palpable frustration means that through this perspective, I can - at times very viscerally - imagine Ouma’s frustration and powerlessness. That alone colours the game and the interactions in a whole new light for me.

I hope this helped clarify at least some of what the heck is going on- and why I would even see Ouma this way at all, if it’s so convoluted. I have struggled to put it into words all this time, but with the pieces flying in my face from every direction, it’s hard to not try putting them together. I usually don’t game on Hard Mode like this, but something about Ouma compels me- whatever Kodaka’s intentions, I believe him when he says Danganronpa V3 is without end.

Thank you for reading!

#drv3 #kokichi ouma #monokuma V3 #V3's Theory of Vengeance #king horse twins #long long long!! #SERIOUSLY FUCKING LONG #LONGER THAN THE 'HORSE TWINS' ONE #I'm really trying to run down on everything necessary #but I'm losing track myself honestly #so uh. I hope this helps!?! #dr psychology #other dr #talent oppression

[lucianalight]

Arrogance vs. Humility: Thor

There's an interesting post circling in fandom with many great metas and povs and it inspired me to expand on one of its threads. I have made a new post so the length and a different direction of meta doesn't bother op. I have also divided this meta into two parts. The first one is titled Thor because it is mainly an analysis of og Thor and og Loki in Thor 2011 . The second part will analyze Loki series for those who are interested.

Initially what sparked this meta was @tori-artemis (Artemis)' tags under an addition by @geehollow (Hollow). Initially I only wanted to write a short answer but I'm doomed by the narrative so I thought to first see what science has to say and I came across an interesting study and decided to use it in my analysis.

I used colors to quote each person because I'm going to quote two people, a study(indented) and add my own thoughts and I can't keep tagging or writing their names :P :D

So without further ado let's start. The topic was about the vice of Thor vs Loki. While perhaps the goal of the og post was to analyze the the topic through the concept of seven sins and virtues I don't intend to do that because it doesn't include every possible personality trait and it's not accurate enough from a psychological pov.

Vice is the first trait one should consider when creating a character. Vices embody the vibe that sparked the character in your mind, and in turn spark virtues, goals, backstories, everything. Of course it's different when dealing with characters inspired by already existing mythos, that already carry traits one has to grasp.

In the MCU, Thor's initial vice was arrogance. Deep seated arrogance born of being the golden prince, revered and indulged. Loki's initial vice was also arrogance, but born of thinking he's smartest than everyone else, due to having had to act covertly in order to get what he wants because he is not revered and not indulged. For both of them these are things we can and should infer during the first movie.

As you've read Hollow states that the vice of both Thor and Loki was arrogance but in different ways. Artemis wouldn't call Loki's arrogance because Loki clearly behaves in a different way than other arrogant characters like Thor and Tony Stark. Therefore we must first define arrogance.

According to a new study there are three types of arrogance that can be dissected into 6 components.

Individual arrogance: an inflated opinion of one’s abilities, traits, or accomplishments compared to objective truths; Comparative arrogance: an inflated ranking of one’s abilities, traits, or accomplishments compared to other people Antagonistic arrogance: the denigration or derision of others based on an assumption of superiority. The types and components of arrogance depicted in Figure 1 are meaningful together because some of the concepts seem to implicate others. One cannot be overconfident about one’s knowledge in a domain (second-largest box) without first having some relevant limitation in knowledge about that domain (largest box); if one disparages others unfairly (smallest box), one is likely to fail to take their perspective and, further, one is likely to believe in one’s superiority compared to them (third- and second-smallest boxes, respectively); and so on. Therefore, the position of each component in the figure reflects a close dependency. Yet, it is possible for causation to flow from smaller to larger boxes, as well. For example, if one hates an individual for any reason, one might be motivated to underrate their capabilities or motives.

From this definition we can say that both Thor and Loki have levels of arrogance from the start but while Thor until the point Odin banishes him has checked all the six components in the picture, Loki is at a level two.

Thor with limited knowledge and an overestimation of his power decides to go to Jotunheim. He resists the disagreements about his limits and chances and fails to consider perspectives of his friends, his brother and father and Jotuns. He considers himself and his race superior to others and insults and criticizes Jotuns and his father. Loki on the other hand has overestimated his knowledge, abilities and whether or not everything goes according to his plan.

After his banishment, Thor comes down from the level of his hubris. When he fails to lift Mjolnir and after Loki's visit, he realizes that his rash actions had terrible consequences not just for him but for his family too. He's left alone and powerless. He doesn't see himself superior to these humans anymore. Jane helps him see things from different perspectives and as weak as a human he learns his limits. He knows he doesn't have the power to fight the Destroyer so he tries to do the only thing he can do, apologize to his brother. And when it seems that Thor's dying, he doesn't care about glory or what tales Asgard would say of his bravery. All he thinks about is that Jane is safe and that humility and selflessness restores his power. Loki though, in his desperation for acceptance, has made all the wrong choices.

Just as Thor overestimated his power, his physical strength and fighting skills in his attack to Jotunheim, Loki overestimates his power which is his intelligence and planning skills.

Loki in his arrogance thinks he can stage and ruin a heist, prevent Thor's rampage, and get rid of Laufey and Jotunheim through his usual method of solo strategies. He learns consequences when his plans inevitably stumble into variables he hadn't accounted for–the guard taking too much time in warning Odin, learning he's a rejected Jotun prince, being actually made regent, the Warriors Three and Sif and Heimdall betraying him. It's not the fact that he grew up learning underhandedness was his most effective method, it's that in the MCU he applied it presumably for the first time to real big events and had to deal with the consequences.

Loki lacks foresight. Like he lacks seeing all of the possible outcomes of his own schemes. That's how he ends up in a lot of messes in the first Thor film. So yeah - he definitely doesn't fully think things through as much as he'd like to believe himself to. Tbf he's not psychic. But it's more of an over reliance on his schemes working perfectly. That he doesn't consider all of the possible ways that those schemes can go south real fast (and end up doing so). So to me...it's less of it being arrogance of his own intellect and more like his over reliance on the schemes themselves. As well as an overestimation of his own control over the situation. Which *could* be considered arrogance... tho I don't think the film really displays it as such. Or it's just not very *clear* in displaying it as arrogance - like aside from occasionally calling Thor an oaf basically(which tbf he's kinda right with that assessment). And like - considering humans and Jotuns as weak and inferior at best - and monstrous at worst(which is less of a character vice and more of a symptom of Asgard's imperialism).

According to the definition of arrogance, what Artemis describes is in fact a complete list of all the reasons why Loki is arrogant. I also like to add that even the imperialism that causes Asgardians to be biased toward other races is rooted in political arrogance and their sense of superiority(Although we can argue that Loki up until his conversation with Odin, did not believe the Asgardian propaganda as he asked why the truth was hidden from him. It was only after he thought his parents see Jotuns a monsters that he tried to radically separate himself from his race).

Like many aspects in this movie, these brothers are once again a yin and yang to each other. Thor's brawn against Loki's brain. Thor's strength represents Odin's warrior side and he is praised for it. While Loki's wit represents Odin's cleverness but unlike Thor, Loki isn't appreciated for a trait in which he is similar to his father and that's sth he wants to change.

Loki has a good plan, but he fails to consider how his action seem shady to those who didn't like and suspected him. And how that can motivate them to betray him. Everything would have gone according to his plan otherwise. He had managed to trick and kill Laufey, he unleashed Bifrost on those race of "monsters" and he had bested Thor in the battle of brain vs brawn. He was pinned but he thought he had won. He was at the top of arrogance level in his grief and madness.

"Look at you, the mighty Thor, with all your strength, and what good does it to you now, huh?"

He didn't consider that Thor, hot headed Thor who looked down on other races and tried to solve everything by throwing a hammer at it, would try to think his way out of this situation to save the people he previously hated.

In my eyes, Odin's banishment, Jane's and Selvig's and Darcy's companionships are only the stakes that make him walk in the shoes of the other side of the violence, but the real wake up call is seeing Loki behaving and talking as Thor used to.

Thor 1 is the origin story of both Thor and Loki, young princes who discover they were still untested, and Avengers 2012 shows the progression of their arcs after their vice has been exploited with one differing element: a support net being present or absent. Thor always had a support net, Loki never did, and their intertwined story shows exactly how in real life people go down their respective paths.

So if Loki's vice is arrogance why he doesn't behave like Thor or Tony?

Bc tbh I probably wouldn't have even thought of arrogance as a vice for Loki. Like my initial reaction was ''wait no that's Thor". But when phrased like the above... it makes a lot of sense. Like tbh I don't know if I'd call it arrogance in his own intelligence - while he's certainly clever he never seems to overbearing about it. Not in the way similarly clever + arrogant characters like Tony Stark display it anyways. Loki never really... seems particularly arrogant?? Like I wouldn't call him humble either but... arrogance just seems a bit exaggerated tbh. I'd say he definitely has pride... tho I'm not sure I'd call it a vice. Bc let's consider other characters that are clearly written to display arrogance at various levels. Like. Anakin is arrogant. Tony Stark is arrogant. Theon Greyjoy was arrogant. And then there's Thor. And like I know there are probably levels to this and it could be argued that Loki's on the less extreme side...But for a character to be arrogant there's almost always like an indicator to that arrogance in said character's personality? Like something about the way they carry themselves... something in the way they display their genuine belief that they're The Best. I don't really see that with Loki. Again I wouldn't call him humble... but he doesn't have *that* attitude I guess. Compared to Anakin ''I would even stop ppl from dying!'' Skywalker. Or Thor 'throws violent tantrum after dad said no to war w/ Jotunheim' Odinson. Or like... half the shit that comes out of Tony Stark's mouth. XD

Yes Loki doesn't have that attitude. That's because individual differences in unawareness of intellectual limits and personality traits affect how the components of arrogance show themselves in people.

We can illustrate potential relations between personality variables and Components 2 (unawareness of knowledge limitations), 4 (failure to consider the perspectives of others), and 5 (a feeling of superiority). Related to Component 2, Schaefer, Williams, Goodie, and Campbell (2004) examined how the Big Five can predict overconfidence in one’s performance. Only the trait of extraversion correlated with overconfidence (the difference between accuracy and confidence). The extraversion factor may be most related to the aspect of arrogance involving inflated self-appraisal relative to objective reality (Lee & Ashton, 2018). There also have been occasional findings of relations between overconfidence and other Big Five traits like openness to experience and agreeableness

Thor and Tony are both extroverts, so their arrogance or at least the part that involves inflated self-appraisal shows itself through overconfident extrovert behavior. That doesn't mean that Loki doesn't act overconfident. It just shows itself in more subtle ways, like the way he stares at his opponent and in his knowing grin. He's less like boastful I'm-the-best-and-I'm-going-to-beat-you, and more like silent I'm-so-smart-and-you've-fallen-for-my-plan.

Even in Avengers when Loki acts arrogantly more than any other time, his real arrogance is not in the way he presents himself to humans in Stuttgart. That was just theatrics. His arrogance is in the way he grins every time his plans work. In Avengers Loki is in his most arrogant state because he's being influenced by the scepter. The same scepter that can bring the worst of every person in its vicinity which almost made Tony and Steve fight, and even Thor reverted back to his old self calling humans petty and tiny. I also like to mention that it was Tony who understood Loki the most and one of the reasons was because he saw the same arrogance of himself in Loki.

Avengers 2012, Dark World and the stories that followed should have picked up the threads left from the first movie and continued the progression of the vice (flaws+virtues+background) Vs consequences. Some of them did. Some of them did not.

Tldr: both Thor's and Loki's vices were arrogance built in different ways and their arcs showcased how society's (=worldbuilding) support influences the consequences of the same vice until the franchise was rebooted (=different worldbuilding and vices)

Source: Foundations of Arrogance: A Broad Survey and Framework for Research

Next: Loki

#loki #thor #loki meta #thor meta #loki's vice #thor's vice #thor 2011 #avengers

[pigeon-smidge]

✦✩ Crowley & Aziraphale (Taylor’s Version) ✩✦

So for the past couple of months I’ve been pouring my heart and soul into an analysis masterpost of this playlist, a Crowley and Aziraphale playlist comprised purely of Taylor Swift songs. I had been curating this playlist for a little while over the latter half of last year, and around November or so I decided to write up an analysis for why I’ve included each song! Some are about a specific character, some about their relationship, and many are about both! Five-ish months and eighteen pages of analysis later, here we are. It’s been so awesome to combine probably my two biggest interests, and even if you’re not a swiftie, I encourage you to read some of this if you’d like to!! You might find some songs you really like the sound of. If you like it, please support :) I spent so long on this

The track list is as follows:

All You Had to Do Was Stay

Say Don’t Go

How You Get the Girl

You are in Love

Wildest Dreams

hoax

peace

mirrorball

Come Back … Be Here

The Very First Night

All Too Well (10 Minute Version)

The Archer

Death by a Thousand Cuts

Cruel Summer

tolerate it

champagne problems

ivy

Back to December

The Great War

Midnight Rain

Tied Together With A Smile

Don’t Blame Me

Dancing With Our Hands Tied

✩✩✩✩

Notes: song titles are in the same order as the track list. they're numbered and colour-coded by album (1989 and midnights share the same colour, as do folklore and rep because Tumblr has limited options) so it’s easier for people to find specific songs they want. They’re not in any particular meaningful order, just grouped by album. If you want to read specific song analysis, please scroll to that point, or open this post in its own window and do a page search (on mac it’s command+f , but I’m not sure about other operating systems.) Obligatory disclaimer that this is all my subjective analysis, both of Taylor’s songs and Crowley and Aziraphale’s characters. I am not making any assumptions about the creative intentions behind them, these are purely what they mean in my view. What I think is not necessarily what the creators intended. If you disagree with anything, that’s fine!! Just please don’t be rude about it. I’d love to hear what you have to say about it!! If you’ve got any thoughts or additions, please add them in a reply or reblog, and we can make it a discussion :D Check back in the future if you want, because I might be adding more depending on if I have some new ideas! ✩✩✩✩

Alright, with that stuff said, here we are!! Grab a snack and get cozy if you want, this is a long one. You can read as much or as little as you want!! I hope you enjoy :)

✦✩ Crowley & Aziraphale (Taylor’s Version) ✩✦

All You Had to Do Was Stay

Title is self-explanatory. However it fits both perspectives; Crowley begging Aziraphale to stay with him and to not leave for Heaven, and Aziraphale begging Crowley to stay with him. They both view the other as being opposed to their own plight because their failure to communicate leads to misunderstandings. Specifically the choruses are most relevant. The verses don’t really feel like they fit; they’re very, very angry and bitter, and describe a relationship that the narrator has pretty much moved on from (‘and people like me are gone forever when you say goodbye’ & ‘now you say you want it back, now that it’s just too late’ to name a few lyrics). I don’t think this is accurate to them as I don’t think they’re going to be able to move on in this way. I also don’t think they’re this angry with each other. The narrator, in the verses specifically, describes their partner in a very reductive way. ‘People like you [..]’ etc, is a very insulting way of talking. Not that either party isn’t upset with the other; I think they’re both very confused and hurt. But I don’t think they’re at the stage where they can be this vitriolic. Partially due to character reasons, and also because obviously the story isn’t going to end with them in the exact positions they’re in now (otherwise there wouldn’t be a third season and the show would be very unsatisfactory). They’re upset, but they’re resigned and bitter, as opposed to outwardly aggressive about the other. ✦ Notable lyrics: ‘You were all I wanted, but not like this’ Because Crowley wants Aziraphale but only if they can stay the same, not both angels in Heaven.  ‘Had me in the palm of your hand, why’d you have to go and lock me out when I let you in?’ Because Crowley poured his heart out and from his perspective Aziraphale didn’t think him enough to leave Heaven behind for. 2. Say Don’t Go

This is THE Aziracrow song. I had a 1989 (Taylor’s Version) listening party with my friends and when this played I went WAIT … especially the second verse and the bridge. The entire song is about begging someone to say that they want you to stay. Even though they both did tell the other they wanted to stay together, neither of them actually realised that’s what they were saying. ✦ Notable lyrics:

‘Cause you kiss me and it stops time, and I’m yours, but you’re not mine.’ The first half of the sentence being from Aziraphale’s perspective in reference to the kiss, and the second from Crowley’s, in reference to how Crowley’s much more accepting of his romantic feelings. 

‘I’m standing on the sidewalk, alone. I wait for you to drive by. I’m trying to see the cards that you won’t show.’ Because of those shots in the Final Fifteen with both of them ‘standing on the sidewalk’ watching each other from opposite sides of the road. Also, any lyrics with references to cars or driving makes me think of these two. ‘Cards that you won’t show’ is very interesting lyric, because it’s a reference to Aziraphale’s love for human magic tricks, and also to their inability to actually properly express and explain their thoughts to each other. ‘I said ‘I love you’, you say nothing back.’ Crowley’s perspective. 3. How You Get the Girl

This song is about how to apologise to someone after breaking their heart … while the breakup was not entirely Aziraphale’s fault (they BOTH need to learn to communicate and properly confront their feelings), some of the lyrics do have some similarities to their relationship.

✦Notable lyrics: ‘That you were too afraid to tell her what you want.’ He was just scared about what his feelings for Crowley mean :( 4. You are in Love

The single happy song on this playlist. Honestly, it’s a song which isn’t that specific to them and I feel like it’s applicable to every ship ever; you know, the Love Song. However, there are some lyrics in this song that have some of their vibes. The whole song is about how love is constant and yet unable to be put into words or exactly understood, which perfectly describes them. ✦ Notable lyrics: ‘He says ‘look up’, and your shoulders brush’ reminds me of someone telling someone else to look up at the stars !!! because Crowley made the stars and he was so happy about them :( and Aziraphale remembered that AHHHHHH

‘and why I’ve spent my whole life trying to put it into words’ it’s ineffable <3

5. Wildest Dreams This song is about falling in love with someone while knowing that it can never last.The relationship in this song is one that is magnetic and beautiful and messy, and the protagonist enters it while knowing it’s going to end but wanting to stay anyway. This describes their relationship perfectly. They both have a tendency to repress their feelings because they both feel like they can never be acted upon. Even them being friends is something that is constantly fraught with danger, something that they actively need to fight for if they want to keep it (See The Great War). To Aziraphale, indeed to both of them before their shared realisation of ‘this is possible’ because of Gabriel and Beelzebub’s confession, their relationship only ever existed in their ‘wildest dreams.’

✦Notable lyrics:

‘He said, “Let's get out of this town, drive out of the city, away from the crowds.” I thought, “Heaven can't help me now” Nothing lasts forever, but this is gonna take me down.’ All of Crowley’s invitations to run away; invitations that are always declined, even if Aziraphale wants so badly to go with him. There’s always a duty that pulls him away, something he feels he needs to fix before things can be how he wants them to be.

‘Nothing lasts forever’ HAHAHAHA … ‘I said, “No one has to know what we do.”’ A relationship that’s kept hidden. “He’s so tall, and handsome as hell. He’s so bad, but he does it so well.”Beauty and love that pulls you in, but feels wicked and frightening. See Cruel Summer.

6. hoax 

THE Crowley song. About loving someone who exposes your vulnerabilities; they feel like part of who you are, so they’re also your biggest weakness. ✦Notable lyrics: ‘Stood on the cliff side screaming ‘give me a reason’’ is very much ‘show me a Great Plan.’ ‘My best laid plan, your sleight of hand.’ References to magic!! Crowley prepared and tried to gain enough confidence to confess to Aziraphale and ask for them to run away together, but Aziraphale’s ‘sleight of hand’ and the Metatron’s influence messed with that. It looked like he was actually going to confess and they maybe had a chance, but then that all fell apart because he didn’t foresee any reason why Aziraphale would go back to Heaven . ‘You knew it still hurts underneath my scars from when they pulled me apart, but what you did was just as dark. Darling, this was just as hard as when they pulled me apart.’ Aziraphale ‘abandoning’ him hurt him greatly, as it felt like such a core part of him was being torn away. This is akin to what Falling would likely have been like, obviously not the same, but in both instances his sense of normal, his identity, and everything that he held dear to him was destroyed.  

‘You know I left a part of me back in New York.’Crowley and Aziraphale can both never truly leave the other without leaving ‘a part’ of themselves behind, because they’re so intertwined in each other's existences. 

7. peace

Describes how they could never find peace with each other because ‘hereditary enemies’ etc etc etc. They can’t be safe together; for a long time they couldn’t even admit their friendship because it would mean danger. We can still see this in Aziraphale; he’s constantly afraid of doing the wrong thing when he should be a good angel.

8. mirrorball

THE Aziraphale song. Perhaps one of the most Aziraphale songs of all time I'm genuinely not joking or exaggerating it's SO GOOD. About a people pleaser who revolves their life around others. Their existence and value is determined by their role in relation to someone else and how well they serve said role. The image of a mirrorball, shining high above the dancefloor, providing light and a shiny jewel for everyone to look at, yet being all alone (that Taylor Swift described was the inspiration for the song), is very fitting. ✦ Notable lyrics:

‘I’ll show you every version of yourself tonight.’ For so much of his life, Az’s purpose has been to serve Heaven. This lyric reflects that. His character growth throughout the show largely focuses on him coming to terms with their lies and abuse, and forming moral codes of his own.

‘You are not like the regulars, the masquerade revellers, drunk as they watch my shattered edges glisten.’ ‘Masquerade revellers’ referring to the angels, watching Aziraphale ‘break in a million pieces’ to serve Heaven, without understanding that he has limits and he’s his own person.

‘Hush, when no one is around, my dear, you'll find me on my tallest tiptoes, spinning in my highest heels, love, shining just for you. Hush, I know they said the end is near. But I'm still on my tallest tiptoes, spinning in my highest heels, love, shining just for you.’ Aziraphale only really acts himself when it’s just him and Crowley and they’re free of Heaven and Hell’s observing forces. Also ‘I know they said the end is near’ ; reference to Armageddon!! ‘I’m still a believer, but I don’t know why, I’ve never been a natural, all I do is try try try’ He’s trying to be good but his warped understanding of what good is hindering that. He has such a low self-esteem especially in regards to his own ‘goodness’, hence he tries so hard :( he’s just trying to do the right thing but he doesn’t realise what he believes to be right is far from it ahhhhhh

‘I’m still on that tightrope, still trying everything to keep you looking at me.’ Remember the ‘I’m standing on a tightrope, alone.’ Lyric from Say Don’t Go? He’s positioned above everyone else, on a completely different level to them, representing his isolation and unique status as really one of the only angels who’s simultaneously trying to do the right thing to help people while following the will of Heaven, things which often contradict each other.

9. Come Back …. Be Here

Long distance anthem!!!!! Them pining after each other after the s2 finale when they’re separated; it mostly feels like Crowley’s pov. 

✦ Notable lyrics: ‘taxi cabs and busy streets that never bring you back to me’ London is busy, but to Crowley, it feels empty because one of the things he loved the most is gone. ‘If I'd known what I know now, I never would have played so nonchalant.’ Because their own constant inability to confront their feelings and dancing around their relationship is what lead to their misunderstanding and then them being separated. If they had actually talked about things together, maybe they’d have a better understanding of their relationship and what the other wants.

10. The Very First Night.Nostalgia and looking back on what was. Very fitting for a show with immortal beings that features their histories together all throughout time. ‘I knew the angel you used to be.’ ‘The angel you knew is not me.’ ✦ Notable lyrics:

‘I wish I could fly, I’d pick you up and we’d go back in time, I’d write this in the sky, I miss you like it was the very first night.’ opening scene of season two, CROWLEY MADE THE STARS DKAJNS They both want things between them to be normal and safe. Aziraphale thinks that them being together in Heaven, like things used to be, would ensure this, but Crowley of course wouldn’t touch it with a ten foot pole. ‘I wish I could fly’ is interesting. Falling being akin to clipping a bird’s wings; removing them of their power. Obviously Heaven would think taking away an Angel’s Heavenly status is a terrible punishment. It’s interesting because Crowley doesn’t actually wish he could fly because he doesn’t want to be an angel again. This lyric could be representative of both of their wishes for more power to be able to change things. They both want to be able to make things better for the two of them and for everyone else, Aziraphale just thinks he has to become a better angel and embrace his Heavenly duties even more in order to make things how he wants them (‘If I’m in charge, I can make a difference.’)

11. All Too Well (10 Minute Version)

One of her most iconic breakup songs …. but this song, and the 10 minute version specifically, has lots of lyrics that remind me of them. Notable lyrics: ‘Something ‘bout it felt like home, somehow’ Aziraphale was home to Crowley, when neither Heaven nor Hell ever treated Crowley like he had a place. One of my favourite metaphors in this show is the use of Crowley’s glasses to represent his vulnerability. The bookshop is one of the only places he ever takes them off because it’s the only place he feels really safe. Him taking them off during his confession only to put them back on again when he realises Aziraphale isn’t going to follow him, and then being on during the kiss is just so symbolic!!!! AJSNBSKDNSBSK ‘You almost ran the red cause you were looking over at me’ obligatory driving lyric ‘you used to be a little kid with glasses in a twin sized bed’ Crowley used to be so happy about making the stars :( ‘Oh, your sweet disposition, And my wide-eyed gaze’ THEM !!!! More vibes of them as angels though. ‘And I was thinkin' on the drive down: Any time now, he's gonna say it's love. You never called it what it was. ‘til we were dead and gone and buried, check the pulse and come back swearing, it's the same after three months in the grave. And then you wondered where it went to as I reached for you but all I felt was shame, and you held my lifeless frame’ This entire section is them. Aziraphale could never admit their friendship or his own feelings because of his relationship with heaven. He feels ‘shame’ because it’s not what he should be doing as an angel. ‘And there we are again when nobody had to know. You kept me like a secret, but I kept you like an oath. Sacred prayer, and we'd swear to remember it all too well, yeah’ Hiding their relationship because az is afraid and it puts both of them in danger. However Crowley doesn’t have the same loyalty to heaven or hell so he keeps aziraphale like an ‘oath’ because it’s an important vow as opposed to something you have to keep hidden. Also any references to prayer is yeah !!!! ‘Well, maybe we got lost in translation, maybe I asked for too much.’ Because they never talk about their feelings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ‘They say all's well that ends well, but I'm in a new hell every time you double-cross my mind. You said ‘if we had been closer in age maybe it would've been fine’ and that made me want to die’ References to hell. Crowley thinks Az will only love him if they’re both angels (but this isn’t true, while Aziraphale does still have biases against Hell because of Heaven’s abuse -’You’re the bad guys!, etc-, he just wants them to be happy :( ) Also ‘every time you double-cross my mind’ is such a clever piece of lyricism. I’ve got nothing too deep to comment on with that one, it’s just plain clever. ‘The idea you had of me, who was she? A never-needy, ever-lovely jewel, whose shine reflects on you’ Again, Crowley thinks Az will only love him if they’re both angels. Aziraphale also deeply failed to understand that Crowley doesn’t want to go back to heaven; this section is from Crowley’s view that aziraphale only cares about him as an angel, which is partly true but he remembers how happy and safe they both were as angels, and he just wants that feeling back. ‘I'm a soldier who's returning half her weight’ fighting for a broken cause; applicable mostly to Aziraphale’s loyalty to Heaven, but could also have meaning in regards to him and Crowley (See The Great War). ‘I still remember the first fall of snow and how it glistened as it fell. I remember it all too well’ because they were together for the very first fall of rain EVER !!!1

12. The Archer This is perhaps one of Taylor’s most Crowley songs ever. His anxiety and paranoia. He’s constantly on edge, constantly worried. He’s lived consistently exposed to danger and lies in every single direction with Aziraphale being the only one he could really trust, and even then, the two of them weren’t ever fully honest with each other. ‘The archer’ is someone who is consistently ‘ready for combat’ and thus sabotages their relationships because of this and feels guilt for it. ✦Notable lyrics: ‘I jump from the train, I ride off alone.’ Crowley’s way of dealing with stressful things is to run away from them. He consistently abandons situations he isn’t prepared to deal with because he ‘never grew up’ and gained the ability to properly communicate his feelings. Him walking out the bookshop door and driving away could be a representation of him running away from his feelings for Aziraphale because the fragile hope he’d gained in the previous scene had been torn down.

‘I’ve got a hundred thrown out speeches I almost said to you.’ Because they never actually talk to each other:

‘Because you and Mr. Fell don’t ever talk to each other.’

‘We talk all the time, trust me. We’ve been talking for millions of years. Blah, blah, blah, blah. I say something brilliant, he says something unintentionally funny back, it’s great.’

‘You never say what you’re really thinking.’

‘I wake in the night, I pace like a ghost, the room is on fire, invisible smoke.’ Bookshop fire ….. also just general restlessness and inability to sleep; to rest, because he always feels like he needs to be fighting for what he has and wants otherwise he’ll lose it. 

‘All of my enemies started out friends, help me hold on to you’ Crowley’s whole life and sense of self was torn away from him and burned, and any relationships he managed to have before he Fell would have gone up in flames as well. His desperately self-sustaining and combative attitude towards existence was likely borne from this; being unsteady in anything he ever gained. Aziraphale obviously was the only relationship he really was able to ‘hold on to’,  but even the angel was never able to fully feel like he could be himself … and also, this lyric:

‘screaming who could ever leave me, darling? But who could stay? [….] you could stay.’ Except ‘he’ didn’t stay, did ‘he’?

13. Death by a Thousand Cuts

A breakup song about a relationship that you can’t move on from because it formed such a key part of you for so many years. It was ‘a great love; one for the ages’ yet you’re ‘still writing pages.’

✦ Notable lyrics: ‘I ask the traffic lights if it’ll be alright, they say ‘I don’t know’’ very much Crowley driving around aimlessly trying to fill up the space Aziraphale left behind.

‘I get drunk but it’s not enough because the morning comes and you’re not my baby.’ Because that’s also how Crowley copes with his feelings when they get too overwhelming; running away and drowning himself with drink.

‘Gave up on me like I was a bad drug, now I’m searching for signs in a haunted club.’Aziraphale doesn’t really feel comfortable admitting his relationship with Crowley. We can see that Crowley doesn’t like this through, for example, their dialogue when Crowley first asks for holy water (‘fraternising’ etc). To Crowley, Aziraphale leaving must have felt like Crowley wasn’t enough to stay for, and that Aziraphale never really loved him as much as he loved Aziraphale. Also bears similarity to Don’t Blame Me (‘Lord save me, my drug is my baby, I’ll be using for the rest of my life, oh.’) which gives the impression of love that was addicting and powerful, but it became too much. ‘Our songs, our films, united, we stand, our country, guess it was a lawless land.’Get ready because this line is so much more meaningful than I ever realised when I added it to this post. ‘Our songs’ something something nightingales.

But the real meat of this lyric lies in the second half. The phrase ‘united, we stand, divided, we fall’  is often used in mottos of organisations and countries in order to inspire collaboration and patriotism for them. It preaches the importance of staying loyal to a certain side, for if division sows among them, then they will ‘fall.’ Historically, it has been frequently used as war propaganda in WWII, and the American Revolutionary War. It has also been used in the struggle for Indian independence, by Ulster loyalists in Ireland, and by many political leaders, for example. Similar phrases can be found in the Bible, for example in in Mark 3:25 (If a house is divided against itself, that house cannot stand),  Matthew 12:25 (Every kingdom divided against itself is laid waste, and no city or house divided against itself will stand), and Luke 11:17 (Every kingdom divided against itself is laid waste, and a divided household falls).

In this song it describes the relationship between the singer and their former lover, which further animates their love as a physical nation or state (as well as a house with the lyrics ‘I look through the windows of this love, even though we boarded them up, chandelier’s still flickering here ‘cause I can’t pretend it’s okay when it’s not).

This animation and the use of this specific phrase which has been used to garner a sense of loyalty towards a cause shows their love to have been a deeply personal thing, something you pledge your devotion to. However, in this song it’s contrasted with the lyric ‘Guess it was a lawless land’ which shows that the nation and love was hollow. It fell apart due to division.

Remind you of anything? Loyalty conflicts is a big part of this show, particularly with Aziraphale’s character, who is still shown to be attached to Heaven as late in his character arc as the Armageddon storyline in season one:

‘Even if I did, why would I tell you? We’re on opposite sides!’

‘We’re on our side!’

‘There is no ‘our side’, Crowley!’

Aziraphale’s turmoil between his Heavenly duties and his feelings for Crowley (not just romantic, even their friendship) is a large part of his unwillingness to admit their closeness, but he’s also just afraid that they’ll get punished. He’s just afraid.

 ‘we could’ve been …. us.’ 

‘our side.’ 

‘a group of the two of us.’

etc , etc

Their relationship is repeatedly treated like it’s its own ‘side’ or ‘group’ that can be pledged allegiance to or deserted. This perfectly sets up Az’s character conflict and growth. It’s so GOOD!!!!!!

It also has a double meaning with Heaven’s patriotism, which has a façade of goodness but is really very corrupt and ‘lawless.’

‘But it wasn’t enough, it wasn’t enough, no, no.’Crowley tried so hard to convince Aziraphale to go with him, he did everything he could, but it didn’t work. That’s what the kiss was; not a moment of love, but a moment of desperation. A final attempt to lay everything out. But it wasn’t enough.

14. Cruel Summer

Secret relationship that makes you feel whole but destroys you at the same time. ‘Devils roll the dice, angels roll their eyes.’ Religious language. The inability for Heaven and Hell to understand love, and even just friendship, between angels and demons is possible. Hell, and the demons, ‘roll[s] the dice’, the language featuring references to gambling shows their more opportunistic nature and need to trick every situation into benefiting them, because otherwise they’re stuck at the bottom of the pile. They can risk everything on a bet that could see them losing all their money, but they don’t really have anything to lose, which makes them very dangerous (like Furfur). Heaven is more judgemental, ‘roll[ing] their eyes.’ This judgement is what Aziraphale is afraid of (and, of course, the physical retribution that follows). It’s rather akin to an abusive relationship such as between a parent and a child, with an unhealthy power dynamic and Heaven always having more control. The child is always trying to do what’s right, but their view of what is right is often in relation to what their parent has raised them to believe is right, or simply in relation to whatever will make the parent happy. This is an analogy that perfectly describes Aziraphale and his internal conflict. ‘and if I bleed you’ll be the last to know’ Az hides his distress and doesn’t like people seeing him cry. See Tied Together with a Smile (second to last song). 

‘and I scream for whatever it’s worth; ‘I love you, ain’t that the worst thing you ever heard?’’ From Crowley’s perspective, Aziraphale loves Heaven more than him, and loving him is something that is shocking and unthinkable. Aziraphale is aware and okay with his feelings for Crowley, he’s only okay with them on a very, very surface level. He’s only sort of okay with their friendship, but doesn’t want to acknowledge anything more than that. So even if a confession of love is something Aziraphale wants from Crowley, he also doesn’t want to hear because he knows that they could never work. AHHHHHHH 15. tolerate it Largely about Aziraphale’s relationship with Heaven. He gives them everything and works so hard to be a good angel but they never fully value him.  ✦ Notable lyrics: The bridge also is in reference to his and Crowley’s relationship: ‘While you were out building other worlds, where was I?’ Because they made the stars!!!!! 

‘Where’s that man who threw blankets over my barbed wire? I made you my temple, my mural, my sky … now I’m begging for footnotes in the story of your life.’ CROWLEY CROWLEY!!! Also religious imagery is just *chef's kiss*.

16. champagne problems

About a proposal that’s refused … I feel like I do not need to elaborate much on this, however it does apply to both of them, because they BOTH were offering something that the other refused. ✦ Notable lyrics: ‘this dorm was once a mad-house, I made a joke, ‘well it’s made for me’’ Crowley vibes. ‘I never was ready so I watched you go.’  Aziraphale wasn’t ready to fully turn away from Heaven, so he had to watch Crowley leave. ‘You had a speech, you’re speechless, love slipped beyond your reaches.’ Crowley tried so hard to convince Aziraphale; he knew he had to start talking first because if not he’d ‘never start talking. He knew what he was going to say, he ‘had a speech’ but it ‘wasn’t enough’ and Aziraphale ‘slipped’ away.  

17. ivy

This song is about an affair, and it’s also a very, very queercoded song. To Aziraphale, his relationship with Crowley feels like figuratively cheating on Heaven, ignoring his duties and shunning his responsibility and role as a ‘good angel’. Notable lyrics: ‘He’s in the room, but your opal eyes are all I wish to see.’ “But it’s pretty!” 💛💛 ‘So tell me to run, or dare to sit and watch what will become.’ Aziraphale’s relationship with Heaven is very mentally abusive. He will only be free of their influence if he ‘runs’ from them. He can’t stay connected to Heaven and be truly free and happy. 

‘So yeah, it’s a fire, it’s a goddamn blaze in the dark and you started it, you started it. So yeah, it’s a war, it’s the goddamn fight of my life, and you started it, you started it.’ Both of their, but especially Aziraphale’s, internal conflict symbolised through fire and war. ‘Spring breaks loose, but so does fear’ Their bond and love has remained throughout history, and with Gabriel and Beelzebub revealing their relationship, the spark of hope was lit in both of them. ‘Spring [broke] loose’ but the Metatron’s offer subsequently pulled Aziraphale away from Crowley and reignited some of the ‘fear’ that he’s spent the show trying to grow away from. 

‘He’s going to burn this house to the ground.’ Speaking of Aziraphale’s fear; he’s worried about what admitting his feelings for Crowley, romantic or even just their friendship, will mean. The danger that it will draw. This lyric also has an interesting double meaning, referencing the literal burning of Aziraphale’s bookshop.

18. Back to December.

Another song about apologising to someone for breaking their heart. ✦ Notable lyrics: 

‘You gave me all your love and all I gave you was goodbye.’ The first part of this lyric is only really relative to Crowley’s confession in the Final Fifteen, because their relationship has never really been stable; they never gave the other ‘all [their] love’ because their fear stopped them. Crowley only ever showed his love to Aziraphale because he felt like he didn’t have a choice and it was the only thing that could save them. But Aziraphale 

‘But then the cold came, dark days when fear crept into my mind.’ I initially added this lyric because it reminded me of Aziraphale, but it also now reminds me of both of them. Their own fears interfered with their abilities to accept the other’s confession and to be happy. They need to both grow and learn before they can actually have a healthier romantic relationship.

19. The Great War

The metaphor of relationship troubles and trauma being connected to war.

There are some references to said relationship troubles relating to the inability to properly confront feelings and issues, instead turning away and using silence as a punishment to avoid really having to change your relationship.

Also relevant because their relationship isn’t just a metaphorical war; there is the imminent threat of literal war between Heaven and Hell, and literal physical negative repercussions to each of them due to their love being known. The motif of soldiers is also connected to the line of ‘I’m a soldier who’s returning half her weight.’ from ATW10MV.

✦ Notable lyrics:

‘It turned into something bigger, somewhere in the haze, got a sense I'd been betrayed. Your finger on my hair pin triggers …. soldier down on that icy ground, looked up at me with honour and truth, broken and blue, so I called off the troops. That was the night I nearly lost you. I really thought I lost you.’

They are each other’s weaknesses; see hoax. Their inability to communicate their feelings lead to the breakdown of their relationship. They ‘really thought [they] lost’ each other. ‘And maybe it's the past that's talkin’, screamin' from the crypt. Telling me to punish you for things you never did. So I justified it.’

A bit part of Aziraphale’s character is his journey of developing his own sense of morality independent of Heaven’s. This is especially delved into in season two through, for example, the Job storyline and the Edinburgh storyline. However, we can see that he’s still very much under the influence of Heaven’s abuse during episode six through the way he still believes what they say about right and wrong and about the nature of Hell (‘Of course you said no to Hell, you’re the bad guys’ as opposed to ‘they’re the bad guys’). He doesn’t want to do anything malicious, and he doesn’t want to leave to Heaven, with his conflict about staying or going being quite obvious (as numerous points in the Final Fifteen he appears very tortured, frequently hesitating and trying to say things other than wanting to go back to Heaven). But he feels like it’s what he had to do, ‘So [he] justified it.’

20. Midnight Rain

This song is actually on their official playlist!!! About moving on from someone who wanted something different out of your relationship; a sentence which almost perfectly describes the way they view their relationship (of course, their misunderstanding led them both to believe the other wants something different, when in actuality they both want the same thing; to be safe together).

‘My town was a wasteland, full of cages, full of fences, pageant queens and big pretenders, but for some it was paradise’ 

&

‘It came like a postcard, picture-perfect, shiny family, holidays, peppermint candy, but for him it’s every day.’Heaven… I don’t think I really need to elaborate on this.

‘He wanted it comfortable, I wanted that pain. He wanted a bride, I was making my own name, chasing that fame, he stayed the same, all of me changed like midnight rain.’

Crowley wants them, he wants them to be ‘comfortable’ and safe, and he thinks that’ll only come if they distance themselves from both Heaven and Hell. Aziraphale also wants this, but he also can’t leave Heaven behind to the extent Crowley wants him to. He wants the ‘pain’ of belonging to Heaven’s institution and having high value there, because it’s familiar to him. It might be incredibly abusive, but it’s home to him. 

He wants to do the right thing, and he thinks that the only way to do that is to stay there. Ahhh ..

21. Tied Together With A Smile

Aziraphale song :( another one about his massive insecurities, folks. 

✦ Notable lyrics:

‘you walk around here thinking you’re not pretty’ Aziraphale always doubts how good of an angel he is and how well he’s doing what’s expected of him.

‘That you cry, but you don’t tell anyone, that you might not be the golden one, and you’re tied together with a smile but you’re coming undone.’Aziraphale doesn’t like letting anyone see him cry. He always turns away and tries to pretend he’s the ‘golden one’, trying to pretend everything is fine and he’s always doing exactly what Heaven wants, yet he is so insecure about his goodness. 

The entire second verse about him wanting love and praise from Heaven: ‘I guess it’s true that love was all you wanted […] but he leaves you out like a penny in the rain’ he’s tossed aside and talked down to by the people he works so hard to do the right thing for.

22. Don’t Blame Me Mainly this song is included because of its heavy religious motifs. It’s very reminiscent of a gospel song, also connections to Cruel Summer; ‘love made me crazy’. Of course a lot of this song is very ironic because it describes a love so strong and intense that it ‘made [me] crazy’, that you disregard everything ‘true’ and ‘right’, only doing what you feel is right in connection to your lover, nothing else mattering. However, this is absolutely NOT what happened in this show, in fact the exact reverse. I think this song describes how Crowley feels; not feeling connected to the institutions of Heaven and Hell and being willing to leave them completely behind. Perhaps it also describes a hypothetical future in which Aziraphale has grown and reached the point he can comfortably leave Heaven completely.

✦ Notable lyrics: ‘Baby I would fall from Grace, just to touch your face. If you’d walk away, I’d beg you on my knees to stay.’ Because .. because that’s what happened. They begged eachother to stay :( Also religious language. ‘I get so high, oh, every time you’re, every time you’re loving me, you’re loving me.’ Their relationship is so powerful (especially how they were able to perform the really large miracle ACCIDENTALLY). ‘Something happened for the first time in the darkest little Paradise.’ Religious language. Them being together is their own ‘little Paradise’, because, due to them being forced to hide the nature of their relationship, their relationship becomes very intimate and personal. ‘Halo, hiding my obsession, I once was poison ivy but now I’m your daisy.’ Religious language. Aziraphale helps Crowley be able to relax and to rest, letting down his guard. Crowley’s not fully able to do this, and he’s not fully willing to embrace the fact he is indeed ‘nice’, but he’s getting there. He’s still The Archer, but he can put down his bow slightly easier (but of course, the one time he fully put it down and opened up his heart, he was burned, so I don’t think he’ll be doing it again any time soon). ‘Lord save me, my drug is my baby, I’ll be using for the rest of my life, oh, oh.’ This lyric is particularly meaningful when parallelled to Death by a Thousand Cuts; ‘Gave up on me like I was a bad drug.’

23. Dancing With Our Hands Tied This song describes a love that you desperately want to be hidden yet you know that it’s only a matter of time before everyone finds out and the danger starts.To have one’s hands tied is to be unable to affect something, representing how their relationship and their own lives were always out of their control because they could never live how they wanted to without fear of retribution (an excellent metaphor for queerness). Additionally, the motif of dancing, which in this context is an intimate and notably private act between the two lovers, is happening while the lovers’ hands are tied, representing the division and conflict that intrudes even while they’re alone together (‘Something happened for the first time in a darkest little Paradise’ from Don’t Blame Me). 

✦ Noteable lyrics: ‘I, I loved you in secret.’ ‘Yeah, we were dancing, dancing with our hands tied, hands tied.’ See above for analysis of the title lyric!! This song also reminds me of them because thy did actually dance together in season 2 episode 5, which is one of my all time favourite GO episodes. ‘I, I loved you in spite of deep fears that the world would divide us. So, baby, can we dance, oh, through an avalanche?’ They couldn’t live how they wanted because of ‘deep fears’ that outside forces would ‘divide’ them, which in the end is what happened. Feeling like the world is against them (‘angels and demons, they can’t just-’)

Honourable mentions!!

Lyrics that make me think of them but there’s not enough content in the overall song to justify it being put on the playlist. They don’t have much, if any, elaboration, but if you want to hear my thoughts on any of these, let me know!! Of course I’ll add analysis to these if anyone wants them. This will probably be the section of the post that’ll be updated the most frequently, and feel free to reply or reblog with any of your additions :D 

~~

‘Just a shot, just a shot in the dark, oh oh.’ - Sweeter than Fiction, 1989 (remember the ‘I’ve known it from the very start, we’re a shot in the darkest dark’ from Say Don’t Go?)

‘Now you hang from my lips like the Gardens of Babylon. Your boots beneath my bed, forever is the sweetest con.’ - cowboy like me, evermore

‘Eyes full of stars, hustling for the good life […].’ - cowboy like me, evermore

‘And you asked me to dance, but I said ‘Dancing is a dangerous game.’ - cowboy like me, evermore

‘I knew it from the first, old-fashioned, we were cursed, we never had a shotgun, shot in the dark.’ - Getaway Car, reputation (again, the ‘shot in the dark’ lyric! Also this was my suprise song WHAT THE FUCK?!??!!?!?!?!?!?!?)

‘We were jet-set, Bonnie and Clyde, oh yeah, ‘till I switched to the other side, to the other side.’ - Getaway Car, reputation (‘We’re on our side!’ … ‘There is no ‘our side’, Crowley!’).

‘Cause lately I don’t even know what page you’re on.’ -The Story of Us, Speak Now

‘Oh, simple complication, miscommunication leads to fallout. So many things that I wish you knew, so many walls up I can’t break through.’ -The Story of Us, Speak Now 

'But I liked it better when you were on my side.' -The Story of Us, Speak Now

‘And I wouldn’t marry me either, a pathological people pleaser, who only wanted you to see her.’ -You’re Losing Me, Midnights

‘Loving him was like driving a new Massarati down a dead end street; faster than the wind, passionate as sin, ended so suddenly.’ - Red, Red

'You dream of my mouth before it called you a 'lying traitor.' - Is It Over Now? , 1989 (Taylor's Version)

thanks for getting to the bottom!! it means so much to me that you wanted to read this in any amount, you truly have no idea. here's a cookie 🍪 !!!!!

bye :D

#good omens #good omens 1 #good omens 2 #good omens show #good omens analysis #good omens meta #crowley #good omens crowley #aziraphale #aziracrow #ineffable husbands #ineffable partners #crowley analysis #aziraphale analysis #songs #spotify #music #good omens playlist #ineffable husbands playlist #crowley playlist #Taylor swift #swifties #Taylor Swift analysis #playlist #the eras tour #eras #pigeontalksgoodomens #PIGEONGO

[nin-carab-nidh-madt]

I have thought on Jadzia Dax from Star Trek Deep Space 9.

I'm currently rewatching the show (midway season 2), probably my 4th watch through over 8 years? My first time with slightly more youtube-essay-driven media analysis skills. I'm enjoying picking up on a lot more things than I used to but there's one thing that bugs me above all else.

Jadzia Dax doesn't really have a strongly defined character that shines through.

I've spent a while thinking about it. Obviously as a science officer its a little harder to tell stories the audience can understand and relate to compared to Odo's murder investigating or Sisko's exasperated diplomacy, but her stories have issues greater than that.

Both the stories centred on Dax, in season 1 where she stands trial for a crime supposedly committed by a former host, and in season 2 where someone tries to steal her symbiont, are about things that happen to Dax. Not the things Dax does. She is neither the perspective character through which we can see the world of Star Trek, with her own unique views and feelings, nor is she the one actively moving the plot forwards. She's either the victim who sacrifices herselr or quite literally refuses to do anything. Unfortunately this is quite a common failing of writing that's easy to fall into, writing about a character instead of the character making decisions that drive the plot. Its one that sci fi writing at the time seemed to do quite often with a lot (but not all) female characters. Ivanova and Talia from Babylon 5 fall victim to this too, especially in early seasons. In contrast, Major Kira, and even Ezri Dax later on have stronger characterisation and are the centre of their own stories.

I doubt this was intentional, its clear through the successes of writing other characters in the show that the writers, actors, and showrunners are trying to make everyone alive and meaningful, so what went wrong?

Looking at Jadzia Dax's character, I think what's clearly missing is a strong drive for her character. No real desires or vulnerabilities. No questions either. To provide constrasting examples:

Odo (who gets almost too much screen time in season 1) is clearly driven by a sense of justice no matter whatever starfleet rules say. He's in constant conflict with Quark, ever vigilant, somewhat isolated from other people. No one ever asks "Why does Odo do what he does?" His motivations are clear, and they even tie it up with an extra motive that's very plot relevant: the mystery of where he comes from. All things a single episode writer can use and explore.

Major Kira has her own conflict with starfleet, her desire to do right by her own people, to get justice for Bajor, and always stand up for the underdog which creates really good stories as she struggles with her own values and constantly has to make choices that affect the story.

Bashir wants acclaim, accomplishment, romance, and also for everyone to like him. Quark wants profit without putting himself at risk. O'Brien wants to just do his job and go home to his family. Sisko wants to hold everything together with the responsibility of peace and reason on his shoulders while singlehandedly raising his son. Jake wants community, friends, and freedom in his life. Funnily enough Ezri Dax has far better drive. Trying to figure out what she wants in life, handling this enormous change and overwhelming personality, and her own lack of confidence that she's useful to anyone sometimes. She grows and changes more over the course of a season than we ever see in early seasons Jadzia.

What does Jadzia Dax want?

I think in attempting to make a wise 300 year old person who's seen everything, they accidentally wrote themselves into a corner. Jadzia has no strong motivations to do much at all. She does fine as a secondary character, and I love how her friendship with Sisko plays out on screen, but beyond being surprisingly enlightened about a lot of things as the result of age and experience there's no drive there.

And so no drive or motivation, and no stories told from her perspective. We have ourselves a problem.

I thought for a while if I could find a solution to the issue rather than just offer criticism. I originally tried writing an outline for an episode. Jadzia would be a fantastic protagonist for any wacky sci fi short story concept that required a scientist to explore, such as time travel paradoxes, simulations, weird space anomolies that do "plot relevant thing" that she would be perfectly posed to actually explore instead of "technobabble and tap console" until the problem is solved.

Then I decided that all we really needed to have a framework any writer could use is to establish a strong character motivation for her. Here's my shot at it.

Jadzia Dax, in harmony with seven lifetimes of experience, is an extremely competent twenty seven year old woman. She can almost certainly do the job of anyone on the station better than they can. Fix a computer? Better than O'Brien can. First aid? She's there and solved the issue before Julian can get there. Solve a murder? A past host was an invesigator of course she can to Odo's chagrin. She has better ideas of what Sisko can do to bring the Bajorans towards the federation. Hell she's the best representative of federation values on that station and could constantly be presenting that of the story.

Dax struggles to hold herself back when she sees her friends failing at what she can solve the problem for them. She tries not to, that's what her training tells her to do. But out here on the edge of Federation space where there's constantly lives on the line? She finds herself interfering in other people's work more and more often. She just doesn't want it do be done wrong. She pushes herself hard to do too many jobs. She doesn't sleep or eat enough while telling everyone else to take care of themselves better. After a while people start relying on her. It turns from her helping to her having those responsibilities. Pilot. Diplomat. Linguist. Researcher. Mechanic. Leader. So much emotional support for her friends because everything they're suffering she's been through herself. It becomes too much for her and you could make the core of one story her just crashing. Learning how to balance her experience with giving room to other to shine through and solve their own problems, which they're very capable of doing. There's plenty more detail to elaborate on but I think this gives a core drive and conflict that lasts a character a couple of seasons at least to explore and grow through.

I happily invite thoughts as to whether my original observations are astute, or wether you think there aren't any problems with how Jadzia's passivity plays out in the show. If you think there are problems, do you think my perscribed solution helps fix them? How would you go about it?

#star trek #star trek ds9 #ds9 #jadzia dax #babylon 5 #writing

[leoneliterary]

(english is not my first language, so I tried to word it the gentlest I could, genuinely curious!)

Is there a reason to why the characters are playersexual? I tend to think playersexual characters are kinda boring, and those who have their own view and experiences with their sexuality feel more personable! Even Desma who could have had a crush on MC since they were young seems to have experience beyond MCs gender. Though I do think it's interesting to explore awakenings, and how the ROs deal with being in love with someone they thought they would never, or even a first love awakening! Thank you for your hard work!

(Thank you! And don't worry, my multilingual friend! More than happy to talk about how I think about these things.)

It's interesting, because I've never found playersexual characters boring, although I didn't really know they were called 'playersexual' until I started writing this and picked up some of the lingo. It's very possible that I'm using the term wrong, but to me, it just means that all the characters are available to be romanced by any MC.

One reason I made the ROs open to being romanced by anyone is to avoid anyone getting locked out of romancing a favorite. You don't feel like you're secretly not their type or that you're a second choice. I think it can make the romance feel more real and genuine, but that's just my personal opinion.

Another reason is because I really don't think too much about the character's sexuality outside the MC, unless it is relevant to the plot. This ties into my writing process as a whole! Under the cut is a pretty detailed analysis of how I write ROs and the MC. Shouldn't be any spoilers, but just in case.

When I come up with a character, I think of them first as a standalone character, and then as a love interest. I imagine the story that I'm telling from their perspective. That tells me their goals within the narrative and how the MC can relate and interact with them. Then I think about how they look from the MC's perspective.

When I think of their life experiences, it's in reference to how they appear in the story. To me, this helps them be more alive and fleshed out. How do they walk, talk, think, etc, and where does that come from. That's where I get some of the more detailed stuff. Laverna is pragmatic because both of her parents are. Sarai is guarded because she's learned the hard way that she has to be. Merikh loves and hates the color blue because it reminds him of home. And so on. These characters need to have things that make you want to know them better and possibly romance them, but they also need to be characters that impact the story, even if you don't romance them.

When it comes to the ROs, I also have to think about the characters falling in love with the MC. The MC has a core character. You play as a person that has felt abandoned, been both lost and found, and that has had to struggle to survive. The three things that attach the MC to the story are the mentors, the guilds, and the heavy hand of destiny. Now the challenge is, now that I've established these narrative rules, how do I make love possible. What does falling in love look like for each RO with the MC? Not just an FMC or an MMC, but also an MC with a high cruel stat or a high warmhearted stat.

All of this is to say that former lovers and experiences in sexuality don't factor heavily into how I develop my characters, at least not all of them. For example, Merikh and Sarai both have a relevant previous experience that contribute to how they respond to intimacy and relationships, so romancing them means that will have to be addressed, but a good chunk of the cast have no previous lovers, meaning their reaction to romantic interest and love will be based more on the pressures they're under and the relationships they've seen.

Hopefully the lack of detail in this area isn't too jarring, but here is my thought process and reasoning behind it!

#interactive fiction #honor amongst thieves #if wip #game development #interactive novel #worldbuilding #ros #writing #fiction writing #creative writing #thought process

[femmefatalevibe]

Not exactly femme fatale stuff, but do you have any tips for note taking and essay writing in A levels? I'm taking Sociology and English lit in college and honestly am struggling rn. Just general studying tips - how do I study, make notes and revise etc. Plus how can I be more vocal in class?

Thankyou!!

Hi love! I didn't go through the British schooling system but have experience excelling in high-level English courses/essay writing back in the day, so I hope these tips can be helpful:

For studying:

Keep a high-level itemized list of the overarching topics/chapters, etc. you need to cover in your study session

Create a plan with a schedule to tackle each item on your agenda in 30-60-minute chunks (throughout the day/week). While reviewing, create outlines of the key themes/takeaways/character profiles, timelines, with relevant examples, etc., you need to remember (factual information) and then a list of concepts/general lessons or insights you take away from your learnings (applied knowledge/analysis)

Devise acronyms or relevant analogies to help you memorize key information, concepts, and events. Perceive each subject as a storyline where you're filling in the gaps with the plot, characters, metaphors, derived conclusions, etc.

For essay writing:

Develop a multi-layered thesis that offers a new perspective to the work(s) you're discussing. Back in secondary school, I had a lot of success with connecting the dots between a theme running through the text(s) and a juxtaposing literary concept to frame my fresh perspective. Consider how drawing parallels between different characters/literary works, historical events, cultural movements, etc. allows you to offer a new interpretation/way to understand the text

Use this multi-layered thesis as a framework to structure your essay. Make sure to clearly distinguish your arguments from each other (new paragraphs) with logical transitions. Ensure each point concludes with a new way to interpret the characters/themes, etc. you're describing

Write your thesis, then the body paragraphs, then your conclusion/introduction (these two can depend on the particular essay I believe)

Always cite your sources, and check for proper grammar, syntax, etc. Varying your sentence length, syntax, and structure. Consider your word choice carefully

Show don't tell; Don't be repetitive with your arguments. Consider including a counterargument and use its fragility as a way to strengthen your multi-faceted thesis

For speaking up in class:

Keep a bullet point list in your notebook of insights/meaningful contributions you can offer to a certain discussion. Don't be afraid to raise your hand to confidently share this point after giving it some thought (helps eliminate nerves and garners positive attention from teachers/peers alike)

Think of meaningful questions to ask about a given lesson or as a follow-up to a point made during a discussion. By offering a question instead of a statement, you don't have to worry about offering a "wrong answer" and invite more intellectual thinking to the overall classroom dynamic

Hope this helps xx

#study tips #essay writing #student tips #student life #studyinspo #study session #studyblr #study aesthetic #creative writing #writing tips #a levels #femmefatalevibe #q/a

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Hey Raven, do you think that Rook is a toxic friend to Vil? My friend was saying stuff like that earlier but idk.

***CONTENT WARNING: this post will refer to and/or make mention of gaslighting, fat shaming, and toxic friendships, as they are relevant topics for this discussion and analysis.***

Well firstly, we need to be aware that there is no single set definition of what makes a person a “toxic” friend. “Toxic” friendships can manifest in many different ways, such as manipulating the other person for personal gain, outright verbally attacking them, excluding them from group activities, gossiping or talking about them behind their back in a way that damages their reputation, etc. Saying someone is “toxic” doesn’t tell the whole story. It tells us that someone is being a bad friend, but it doesn’t elaborate on how or why exactly they are being a bad friend. What words have they said and what actions have they done to earn that title? How do these words and actions make others feel? That’s what we need to focus on when analyzing a character, not just the assigned label in isolation.

Now with that being said, I completely disagree with the sentiment expressed by your friend.

Rook has always been a person that’s extremely supportive of Vil, even when they were in entirely different dorms (in fact, he transferred so he could be closer to, and better support, Vil in his pursuit of beauty). The methods to communicate his thoughts aren’t always the best (like, in the past, Rook just walked up to Vil, rattled off a bunch of unwarranted feedback of his performances), but he speaks passionately and from the heart, and he doesn’t do so with malicious intent. Rook just gets overexcited sometimes and can’t always contain himself well.

Having difficulty expressing oneself is not necessarily a mark that Rook is a “bad” friend. If it was, then why would someone as no-nonsense as Vil want to keep talking to him for hours and hours despite the weird initial impression that Rook gave off? Why would Vil trust Rook as his vice dorm leader (a position which is implied to be hand-picked by the dorm leader)? Why would Vil follow Rook’s advice when selecting members for the VDC team? Vil is a relatively good judge of character (he can sniff out even Jade’s shadiness; see Jade’s Dorm Uniform vignettes), and he normally wouldn’t put up with anyone else’s bullshit. It’s clear that Vil puts a lot of faith in his huntsman’s judgment, and Rook demonstrates the same amount of faith in Vil. He even thought that Vil’s OB was beautiful (albeit in a twisted way) and was willing to drink poison because he wanted to believe that Vil wouldn’t stoop so low as to try and poison Neige.

Vil’s work drives Rook���s own passion, and, in turn, Rook’s passion drives Vil to work hard. That’s part of the reason why their friendship developed so early on and why their dynamic works so well to this very day.

However, let’s play devil’s advocate for a moment and consider the other side of the argument: what has Rook said and done that can be interpreted as toxic? Well, when people say that “Rook is a toxic friend to Vil”, there are usually two major examples that get referred to: the betrayal of episode 5, and a comment that Rook makes in Vil’s Labwear vignettes. Let’s dissect both of these points.

Firstly, the infamous ending of episode 5. When it initially came out (in JP), there was considerable uproar about Rook voting for RSA instead of for NRC. A lot of hatred and anger was directed at Rook for casting the vote that essentially sealed NRC’s loss and crushed Vil’s dream of proving himself worthy as a “hero” in the eyes of the public. From the outsider’s perspective, this is a jerk move on Rook’s part. What this is missing is proper context. Rook didn’t blindly vote for RSA because he’s Neige’s fanboy or to teach Vil a lesson in humility; it’s because he genuinely believed that RSA’s performance was more “beautiful”—not on a technical or a professional level, but in the purity of it, in how much love is behind the performance.

Neige and the Dwarves were singing and dancing their hearts out hoping to share their happiness and joy with everyone that watched them; Vil was singing and dancing to absolutely crush his foes and demonstrate that he is “the best” (ie his reason is comparatively very selfish compared to Neige’s). It just so happened that, in voting for RSA, Rook was also able to show Vil that he needs to learn to love himself first and foremost before he concerns himself with the public’s love. Again, Rook has zero malicious intent in voting for the other team. He was only being honest with himself, and even Vil would shortly come to recognize that. Yes, Vil is frustrated with the outcome, but even he doesn’t fault Rook for how the vote went.

There is no ill will between them; furthermore, considering that Vil wants to earn his beauty and achievements rather than be handed them, I don’t think he would be satisfied if there had been a tie (or if NRC won) knowing that Rook voted for NRC out of obligation or pity. As the song Absolutely Beautiful says, Vil wants to be able to prove his own skill and to win over people’s hearts such that there is “no chance to beat [him]”, so there is no doubt or question that he is the victor. Rook cannot lie to himself nor to his queen, and Vil wouldn’t be happy if Rook did lie. Vil trusts Rook to tell him the truth, and Rook did—that’s why Vil ultimately accepts what happened instead of being bitter about it and holding a grudge towards Rook.

Another angle to look at the events of episode 5 at is the “noninvolvement” lens. In other words, “Why did Rook do so little to help Vil prior to the Overblot? He’s a bad friend for not stepping in sooner and for not taking direct action.” Take their shared history into consideration, and it starts to make more sense. Rook does not directly intervene because he has known Vil for long enough to understand that direct confrontation won’t work. Vil is stubborn, and when he wants something, he will work his ass off to get it and won’t listen to reason (or even his own manager). That left Rook no choice but to play along and try to support Vil in his aspirations, but he did what he could to try and incorporate what he believed were positive influences (Adeuce, Grim, Yuu) on Vil. It was also Rook who stopped Vil from committing the ultimate sin (poisoning Neige) that would forever “dirty” his beauty. Could Rook have done more? Certainly. But still, he tried to help in his own way, and with regards to the circumstances, causing his hands to be tied.

Onto the second major example that gets brought up in discussions of Vil and Rook’s friendship: Vil’s Labwear vignettes, specifically the first part. In it, Rook comments that Vil has “put on a little weight”, which prompts an “excuse me?” from him. Clearly, Vil is not happy about it, and it can be argued that Rook’s response to that is… not tactful, and (I’m not going to sugarcoat this) can be interpreted as gaslighting. Basically, Rook asks when Vil is “planning to begin [his] diet” and then asks him whose opinion he believes when it comes to his appearance (specifically the weight): Rook’s, or everyone else’s? I can completely understand why people would take offense to this interaction, as it can come off as fat shaming. This phrasing was extremely bad, and Rook should not have let that come out of his mouth.

What I must stress here that Vil himself is not offended by the actual content of what Rook said, but rather by HOW he said it. In the second vignette, Vil expresses to Trey that what Rook said is true, but that Rook failed to express it in a more thoughtful way. He explicitly says that he finds Rook’s outside perspective useful, as Rook notices things that even Vil doesn’t. Vil actually takes very little issue with his looks being criticized or commented on—that is what his entire career is built on, so of course it makes sense for him to want to take care of his appearance and to meet the conventional beauty standards imposed by his industry. If anything, Rook’s feedback actually helps Vil improve himself and be the best that he can be for his gigs. Again, the issue is not that Rook is “toxic” to Vil, but that Rook fails to express himself in a way that is socially appropriate when he’s communicating some of his thoughts.

It is the context of the situation, and Vil himself, which defines whether their relationship is “toxic” or not. I want to point out that sometimes in toxic friendships, the victim does not realize their friend is being toxic in the first place, so the argument can be made that just because Vil doesn’t see Rook as toxic doesn’t automatically mean that he isn’t. It’s possible that others in the friend circle and in their immediate environment can see the toxicity and must inform the victim of what is happening to them, to make them self-aware. However, this is not the case for the other TWST characters. In fact, it’s often the case that others express their disbelief at how close Vil and Rook are, despite Rook’s eccentricities. All of the other characters pretty much acknowledge and think of Vil and Rook’s friendship as a healthy (if not odd) dynamic. They see Rook as someone who unconditionally loves and supports Vil, but does so and communicates it in unconventional ways. Sometimes it’s not overt enough, and other times it’s TOO overt, but that’s just how Rook is: unpredictable.

Something I commonly see in interpretations of Rook and Vil’s friendship is this expectation of “unquestioning devotion and loyalty”. People have this notion that a “good” friendship is one in which friends always show support and tell each other positive things to uplift and encourage each other. Applying this to Rook and Vil, people expect and want Rook to vote for NRC, to not make comments on how Vil looks.

I don’t think that notion should be true; I think a “good” friendship is dependent on what the involved parties desire from the other. In Vil’s case, he does NOT want a yes man that blindly follows him. A yes man will not help Vil improve himself. He wants someone that has the guts to him the truth—no matter how ugly it is, and that person is Rook (he just needs to learn how to filter himself better).

#Vil Schoenheit #Rook Hunt #twst character analysis #twst analysis #twisted wonderland character analysis #twisted wonderland analysis #spoilers #notes from the writing raven #question #twst #twisted wonderland #disney twisted wonderland #twst en #twisted wonderland en #tw // toxic friendship #tw // gaslighting #tw // fat shaming