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perfectimperfectionblog · 2 years

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What People Think of me is None of my Business

Strong, capable, self assured, resilient, inspiring - these are the adjectives to which I aspire to be described. Victim, weak, inept, naïve, incapable - all adjectives that I’d never want to hear from my mind, my thoughts, or the lips of another. Doesn’t mean I haven’t. However, what people think of me is none of my business. I’m not a victim, I will never claim to be a victim, and frankly where there is ever a ‘sob’ story on a reality TV show that person will never get my vote. We might not have control over what happens to us, not completely, but every action or inaction creates a consequence - positive or negative - to which we then ascertain full control over how we respond. We all have our issues, our demons, our ghosts, our shadows, our challenges - who’s to say that any one persons problems hold more weight than another? Most of the time we don’t know what another person is truly going through, and unless we are perfect (hot tip no one is), then we really have no right to judge. As Jordan B Peterson puts it, ‘Set your house in perfect order before you criticize the world.’

Here is a philosophical scenario for you. You’re on a Country road and it’s dark as night with not a single car in sight. You come up to a set of traffic lights which have turned red, indicating that you need to stop for all intents and purposes - abiding by the rules of the road. No one is around. You’re practically deserted. There’s no red light camera - so what do you do? Do you stop for the red light and wait patiently for it to turn green, or do you continue on? No one gets hurt right? So what’s the harm? Here is another, deeper, philosophical consideration. 4 hikers get caved in and are without food for 7 days. As they grow weaker and weaker they discuss ways in which they could survive and the only likely probability is to eat one of them. The 4 eventually agree, but who makes the ultimate sacrifice? In this story the group decides who will be killed and thus successfully executes the plan. They eat one of their own and survive, however when they’re eventually rescued they are charged with murder. Is that fair? Is that just? They were going to die anyway, so isn’t it better that in this scenario 3 out of 4 survived? But who were they to ever make that judgement? Why did they get to determine who didn’t survive? So in this very situation, ask yourself, what would you do?

‘As Hamlet said to Ophelia, “god has given you one face, and you make yourself another.” The battle between these two halves of identity... who we are and who we pretend to be, is unwinnable. “Just as there are two sides to every story, there are two sides to every person. One that we reveal to the world and another we keep hidden inside. A duality governed by the balance of light and darkness, within each of us is the capacity for both good and evil. But those who are able to blur the moral dividing line hold the true power.” Can we control who we fall in love with? I suppose the answer is subjective, but ultimately if the innate answer is no then surely we can embody the willpower to not act on our thoughts and feelings? When of course, separating thought from action is merely what separates man from beast. Why do people step out on a significant other? I’ll let you in on the simplest answer out of a multitude of complex one’s - it’s a breakdown in communication. We are all emotional beings who want to be heard and the moment we feel as though we no longer are is the moment the relationship crumbles. When people fail to communicate effectively, suddenly the respect starts to diminish and all of a sudden too much love is lost. Sometimes it’s repairable, other times things get to a point where the people in question are merely too far apart to be able to come back together and salvage what they once had.

The only constant in life is change. Even if we were in a position to be with our sweethearts for the entirety of our lives, the relationship would still change along the way. Sometimes this change happens together, sometimes it can’t possibly. Despite our brains having fully developed by the age of 25, we are still susceptible to influence and impression. We can still change our minds - and this includes what we want out of life - which is where the term ‘mid life crisis’ comes from. So here is some food for thought... why do we deem this to be a bad thing? Who decided it was a ‘crisis’ and marred it with such a negative connotation. Change is uncomfortable, sure. But this is only at the beginning and if we don’t take steps to grow into the person or people we want to be, then we will stay stuck in an unhappy situation and a mundane life will be our reward. More often than not, if you aren’t moving in the direction of growth then the universe will orchestrate a way to make sure you do. We have the answers and the tools within us already, but too often it’s fear that holds us back. We pretend, we put on the other face and we tell ourselves the biggest lie of all - that we are doing the right thing, but ultimately.... says who?

I am guilty of losing myself to my emotions more than I care to admit. Blurring that moral line and being two people is something I have been guilty of in my past. Compartmentalising and understanding that nothing is as it appears on the outside has been a recurring theme in my life and frankly, who even decided what is right, wrong, black, white, good, bad or otherwise as human beings anyway? True alignment is when you find the balance between chaos and order. There has to be order or else there would be hell on earth. But if something feels right, even if the ‘action’ is perceived as wrong, then we need to trust that we know what ‘our’ right means. A good person can do a bad thing and still be a good person, the point is being able to determine, and live with, which one you are. Too often lack of trust is what breeds fear which is what results in bad behaviour. Lack of trust further breeds insecurity and not only leaves you doubting someone you love, but worse, it leaves you doubting yourself. We are incredibly complex creatures and we always will be, but no one gets to decide who you are. Personality is who people ‘think’ you are. Your character is ‘who you are’ and it’s only you who gets to decide who that is.

You think you know me? How could you possibly know me when I’m still learning who I am? I learn new things about myself every day, we all do if we are awake enough to pay attention. Each and every one of us has the ability to be a better person than we were yesterday... and if we were our best selves yesterday, we can still find a way to be better again tomorrow. So who do we need to be better for? Sleep in Peace when day is done is my favourite line from Michael Bublé's classic, ‘Feeling Good’. It’s only us, and whatever god we prescribe to, who knows our karmic ledger and being that karma is a human invention anyway, if you go to bed at night knowing in your heart that you’re a good person with good intentions, then no one should be able to convince you otherwise. No one other than you walks in your footsteps, feels the rain on your skin and knows what truly lies in your heart. We cannot know with complete certainty the intentions of another, which is why it’s so important to have conviction over our own. It’s never nice to hurt someone, but we should always be choosing honestly. We need to hurt people with the truth over choosing to comfort them with a lie! Perhaps this lie comes with good intentions because we know it would break our heart to hurt someone that we care about, but all we are really doing is lying to them and lying to ourselves… in conclusion, nobody wins.

So who am I? I am someone who doesn’t enjoy being the ‘centre of attention’, yet somehow I find myself in the middle of it all. I have always been, and probably always will be, talked about. Why? Because I’m threatening. I am strong, capable, self assured, resilient and inspiring. Arrogant? No. Confident? You bet. Has this ‘me’, right here right now, been a result from years of people pleasing tendencies, abuse, saying yes to things that I didn’t want to do, loss of friendships, relationships, death, birth... life? All of the above - I’ve lived it all! I wrote a book in high school about the formative years that I was right in the middle of living. The rumours that went around in school behind my back were enough to fill a novel from front to back. Yet somehow, even in mid 30′s, we never truly escape high school. People will judge you before you’ve even had the opportunity to introduce yourself, it’s how we are wired. The key is to learn to take nothing personally.

People will always talk, judge, project, assume, assasinate, ridicule. If you approach me and say it like it is then you have my respect. If you seek to understand then you have my respect. I’ll admit, my receptivity to feedback isn’t always positive as I’m a social introvert which means I need time to reflect, assess and work out how feedback - good, bad or otherwise, sits with me. How is it different to my truth? How much do I respect the opinion of the person providing the feedback? What is the intention behind the feedback? How much weight does the feedback actually hold? What are the facts? So much to consider...! But if your opinions are made up primarily of that of another then it holds no weight in my heart or my mind. If someone you are close to has an issue with another person for whatever reason, you don’t have to be their best friend, but you only have one - very biased - side of the story and I doubt you would like to be judged upon a half truth with no ability to defend yourself.

This past two years I have never been more challenged when it comes to my character. When it comes to my self-worth, self assurance and faith. My morals and my integrity. Did I let the opinions of others in? Get to me? Hurt me? Cause heartache, tears, doubt, guilt? Yes! Absolutely I did. You can be the most resilient, self assured person... but words tend to have an unconscious effect and although I continue to bounce back time and time again, backing myself with the conviction around the person I know myself to be, I feel as though it’s ok to doubt yourself on occasion because it’s indicative of where you are privy to ridicule, manipulation, suggestion and exactly where you are not healed. This kind of doubt will highlight where there’s still work to be done. It’s a gift and it is all dependent on how you choose to see, view and receive feedback. Feedback is feedback. Feedback is everything and feedback is nothing. It’s your decision.

My last blog exposed the red flags of every single partner I’ve endured across my dating life and a good friend of mine challenged the fact that nowhere in that blog did I speak of my own red flags. That, right there, is valuable feedback! It allowed me to see that I was speaking from one side and not one of those men were solely to blame for the relationship breakdown. Not to mention they have no platform to defend themselves. Whether it was my lack of backbone to speak up when I knew someone was cheating, whether it was my cowardess to speak up to my mother, whether it was my incapability to demand respect from someone I was sharing my life with, then I am equally accountable. I know when an action, or inaction, of mine doesn’t align with my true self because of how I feel afterward. It could be fear, guilt, embarrassment, sorrow, frustration, resentment - all of which could have been prevented had I learned how to communicate properly.

Communication is, and always will be, key to any relationship. I am still learning how to master my own communication and use my voice without over communicating. The positive from my learnings is that I realised I needed to communicate better, the further learning is that now I perhaps communicate too much in the sense that not everything has to be addressed when a lot of my thought patterns are purely projections, doubt, fear of lack of trust which are all within my own capability to control and master. I am a person who feels irrevocably deeply. I wear my heart on my sleeve, right there in plain sight, ready to be taken advantage of. Despite continually being shown otherwise I have always chosen to see the good in people and have tried my very best to bring the best out in a person and nurture that part of them. One of my toughest life lessons is coming to the frigid realisation that not everyone has the same heart as I do which means, not only will another person be incapable of loving me at the depth that I love them, but I am also setting that person up for failure the moment I place any kind of expectation on them to match that love. My love is my love, rare, loyal, unique, deep, vulnerable, raw. No one can love like I do, they can only love like they do.

On the back of the traumatic events that lie deep within my psyche, I had to grow up fast. When I lost my mum in my early twenties, I had to grow up even faster. Whether this be how I was conditioned, a learned behaviour, a mastered behaviour - I’ve never lived in a world that is completely black and white. I’ve been a law breaker, a risk taker, a heart breaker and before ‘yolo’ was even a concept I was always living in the moment. I respected order, don’t get me wrong. I’m an over achiever and thrive off of positive recognition when it comes to my work or how I show up in my friendships. I love being told that I’ve helped someone, or made a difference in someone’s day, week, life! However whilst I tend to live in alignment between order and chaos, sometimes the scale tips and I need to master myself to ensure that I find my way back to true balance. I was fifty shades before anyone had even heard of Christian Grey.

I’ve made too many mistakes in my life to count but it’s hard to live with regrets when every mistake I’ve made has been with good intentions. Not once, not ever, have I set out to intentionally hurt another person. I have one of the purest hearts imaginable, I can feel it within my being. The darkness that follows me from my childhood could’ve consumed me, hell... it still could! However I am incredibly passionate about moving forward toward a better life for myself and although I know with every fibre of my being that my experience is the very reason I will never bare a child, I understand that I could break the abusive pattern - but only when I am fully healed and I can’t be sure if that will ever come to fruition. My priority is to make sure that I continue to heal my own inner child so that I can help others do the same and the only way I will be able to do that is by continuing to follow my heart, trust with all I have and risk getting hurt in the process. Anything else is not living.

My purpose and my contribution in this world is not about ‘what’ I do, it’s about ‘who’ and ‘how’ I am. It’s about my connections and the vibrations that I put out into the Universe within every single relationship that crosses my path, past, present and future. It is the difference I can make in the heart of another that means everything. I will rewrite my story at 35 and again at 50 if I have to. Following my heart is how I stay true to who I am and I will not make apologies for that. I will never intentionally set out to hurt another person but I will intentionally set out to love another person with all I have. To me, that’s worth all of the adversity and I’m the one who gets to make that decision. I’m the one that has the power over who I am and no one on this earth has the ability to take that away from me. I’m the writer of my life… and this story is far from over.

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fuckyeahscienceparty · 4 years

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You know it was coming: how did red Engi and blu medic started dating? ( ͡Ow ͡O)

(in relation to these two posts!)

adding a cut bc this got long. also this gets sappy and whumpy. you have been warned lol

they bumped into each other one day, after battle. medic had gone out for a walk to get a break from his lovely gaggle of idiot teammates and clear his head and engie had been sitting outside on one of the many crates just lying around, guitar by his side as he took a sip from one of the beers he'd taken with him.

upon seeing him, engie'd said "hey, stranger. fancy seein' you about." with that amiable smile on his face as he reached for his guitar.

gentleman he was, he'd invited medic to stay awhile. have a beer or two. just relax. there weren't any cameras in the area, anyways. he'd know. medic was hesitant at first but ultimately agreed, sitting next to his newfound friend and listening as he plucked out a song from somewhere deep in his memory.

to both their surprises, they really hit it off. maybe the mutual, unbeknownst crushing had something to do with it but they planned to meet up again the next week, if only to escape the hectic disaster zones that were RED and BLU bases.

most of the time they'd just sit and talk, enjoy each others' company. engie almost always brought his guitar and he'd absentmindedly play whatever came to him. whenever he did so, medic couldn't help but stare at him with fascination. i mean he played instruments too (violin, piano, and accordian to be exact) so it wasn't necessarily the concept of him making music so much as the way his fingers effortlessly plucked and strummed things out, even if he'd only ever heard the song he was playing once or twice.

engie, meanwhile, developed a borderline obssession with medic's laugh. he'd take any stab he could at making him giggle, do whatever he could to get him break into that loud, cackle that had him gasping for air. yeah it was a little obnoxious but that's what was so.. intoxicating about it, he thinks.

every time they met, they'd slowly sit closer and closer together. it got to the point that they were basiclaly inseparable, medic laying his head on top of engie's while engie rested comfortably against medic's shoulder.

the real tipping point though was when medic came to him very visibly upset by something. engie tried to pry it out of him (to no avail) and ended up trying to play something to make him feel better. something about what he was playing struck a chord (ha) in medic's head and he ended up just bawling, full on I Am Not Fucking Ok tears just running down his cheeks as he shoved his face in his hands and tried to cave in on himself.

engie panicked. he put the guitar down and tried doing what his mom did when he used to get panic attacks, which was carefully prying medic's hands away from his face and giving him a kiss on the forehead as he wiped away his tears. medic could barely speak but he shoved his face into engie's shoulder, forgetting everything about the fact that they were supposed to be enemies and that he really shouldn't be this vulnerable in front of someone he was going to have to kill tomorrow.

neither of them spoke. engie just wrapped his arms around him as his sobs shook his entire body, gently rubbing his back and telling him it was going to be ok. medic ended up falling asleep in his arms and engie had to sneak him back into his base, miraculously not getting caught by the rest of medic's teammates. finding his room was a little difficult (since RED and BLU were set up just a little differently) but when he managed, he carefully put him on his bed and gave him another kiss on the forehead before slipping out and back to RED.

the next time they met up was a little awkward. BLU medic had been avoiding him in battle as much as he could all week and neither really knew what to say for a while. engie just strummed away until they were ready to talk, glancing at medic from time to time out of the corner of his eye.

medic had said he was sorry. engie stopped and asked him what for. he said for what happened last time they met. engie told him to not be ridculous, he was more than willingly to be a shoulder to cry on. they were friends after all, weren't they?

and medic paused.

...friends. friends, huh? he never really thought of how to describe RED engie. he frowned, though. friends didn't feel right. i mean he'd had an emotional breakdown in front of the man and had practically sat in his lap, that felt like more than friends to him.

he asked if he could do something crazy. engie told him to go ahead. he stepped closer to him and removed his guitar from his hands, leaning so close to him that their foreheads were touching before gently, tentatively, pressing their lips together.

engie shortcircuited. medic stepped back, afraid he'd overstepped before engie pulled him in again, grabbing him by the collar and pressing their lips together once more, more insistent this time.

the both of them ended up stay their until their lips felt numb, with maybe one or two stray marks on each others' necks, though neither really seemed to mind

they wouldn't really bother to label it after that, never really fet there was a point to. they started seeing each other more frequently, ocassionally just going off base on their off days to enjoy each other away from the (not very watchful) eyes of their teammates. it was messy, and damn them to hell if they said it wasn't hard, but maybe, just maybe, sometimes love comes from war.

and maybe they could really make this work. wouldn't that be nice?

#tf2 #tf2 medic #tf2 engineer #tf2 science party #medic x engineer #asks #l-i-n-u-s-k-a #personal headcanons #should i count this under my writing tag lol this kinda just reads off like a weird fic #anyways headspace has been bad again. computer possibly dying doesn't rlly help that. requests r kinda on hold rn #but i will get to them eventually! just b patient w me <3

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isagisyoichi · 3 years

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YOU MAKE ME FEEL SPECIAL!

SYNOPSIS: niko as your boyfriend

CHARACTERS INCLUDED: niko ikki aka my boyfriend hello

WARNINGS: swearing, pretend all the boys go to the same school and they're all friends for plot, normalize not writing serious boys as someone that practically hates their s/o and never opens up to them god bless, also no such thing as ooc since we dunno shit ab him so everything i say is law. SUPER LONG LOL, it's like 2k+ words 😭

A/N: i love my boyfriend and i'm v happy about all the attention he's getting (even if he will prob will b subbed out 👎) this was fun to write bc i think he would b very soft as bf and also i hate the notion that stoic and serious = boring and detached in a relationship. also first post w the new user yayyyy rip yoichisagis an end of an era for realsies.

FOR: fox anon my beloved this one is for u😩

it takes a while for you two to get together, just because niko wants to think things through and be sure he’s making the right decision, as well as him being naturally apprehensive about this whole dating thing.

when you do eventually start going out, keep in mind you're probably his first real anything, so-

niko needs to take it slow for the first month or so because he needs time to adjust and get used to being in a relationship.

when he gets comfortable around you, niko starts to talk a lot more.

niko starts to talk about his interests more-soccer, stem stuff (idc i'll die by my hc that he's a stem boy), etc. and niko's really happy that you're genuinely interested in what he has to say :)

and as your relationship progresses, niko becomes more inclined to share his inner thoughts.

“this song is so bad, i hate it and how it's everywhere,” like, babe that sucks, but what do you want me to do, take it off the radio myself? 😭

you find out that niko’s kind of a hater LOL, but it’s okay, because it means he can be himself around you <3 and the mini debates you have with each other are fun.

he’s someone you can take shopping with you if you need a solid second opinion.

“ikki, is this cute?” you niko as you adjust the shirt you tried on in the fitting room mirror.

“no.” he’s so straight up LOL. “the blue one from earlier was better.”

“this one?”

“yeah, that one. you look really pretty in it.”

ngl though, niko’s not much of a mall person. he'd just follow you around like a little puppy LOL, but he doesn't mind too much because it's for you.

communication is important to niko!!!!! he wants someone that he can have real conversation about the things that matter to him, so he rly makes an effort to have that kind of connection with you.

niko's naturally funny but he isn't aware that he is lol.

but when he does try, i feel like his humor comes in the form of sarcasm and dry wit. likes poking fun at you here and there with a lighthearted jab.

"you're so weird, y/n," is the most common one.

niko’s naturally closed off emotionally (male aquarius 😒) but i, personally, think he’d really try and push himself to be more open with you, especially if you expressed for him to do so </3

he'd be really appreciative of someone patient and understanding of the fact that he doesn't open up easily, though.

but eventually, you become the person closest to him- niko confides in you a lot, which he’s grateful for because he usually holds everything in.

not one for pda or other lovey-dovey things in public, other than the occasional holding of hands but behind closed doors, niko’s so soft around you, it’s like he’s a completely different person.

also, i feel like niko’s real handsy with you, i get the vibe he’s super touch starved 😭

although it does take him a while to get used to physical affection, once he has, niko cannot get enough. he’s always touching you when he has no real reason to.

(and because you're his first relationship, i feel like it’s just natural that niko’s going to be kind of clingy towards you.)

“you okay, ikki?” you ask as niko suddenly wraps his arms around your waist from behind, resting his chin on your shoulder.

“mhm,” he mumbles. “just wanna be close to you.”

niko likes when you sit on his lap when he’s on his computer. you can have your arms wrapped around his neck, your head resting in the crook of his neck, or you could just be on your phone or whatever, it doesn’t matter, niko just likes you near him.

you guys don’t really talk to each other when you do this, aside from niko occasionally checking up on you and asking if you need anything from him.

but other than that, you guys just enjoy each other's touch in silence. it’s one of his favorite things to do with you.

however, if you start kissing him in the middle of whatever he’s doing and keep it up for long enough, niko will drop everything to make out with you right then and there (also one of his favorite things to do with you).

speaking of kissing- you kiss niko first.

niko would try to plan your guys first kiss out because he wants everything to be perfect.

but, he ends up taking forever to execute it because he keeps overthinking and you can only wait so long before kissing him, so you take matters into your own hands.

his kisses are sloppy and juvenile at the beginning, but he’s smart and learns quickly what you do and don’t like.

likes being kissed on his jaw and forehead the most :')

if the team ever happens to see niko kissing you, they're gonna be so annoying 😭

"yooo niko's making big moves ‼️" "my son's growing up on me!😩" "good job *pats on the back*" and niko is red all over as he drags you away from them, muttering about how childish and annoying they are 😭.

but, they're all very supportive of you guys, even if they're embarrassing as hell 🙄.

they even give niko relationship advice- which luckily, he doesn’t follow (most of the time), because, let’s be honest, if you're getting unsolicited dating tips from a bunch of teenage boys, it’s probably bad 😭.

you’re the only person niko shows his forehead to. just know that having the opportunity to see it means that niko trusts you more than anyone else :’)

repay his trust by kissing his forehead lovingly and showering him with compliments whenever you can !!!!!!!!!!

“y/n, why’re you so embarrassing,” niko says under his breath, blushing as you hold his face and litter soft kisses on his forehead, rambling about how cute he is.

always looks for you in the bleachers when he has a game and you’re always the first person he talks to after.

and the fact that you make an effort to come as often as you can means sooo much to him. definitely considers you to be his biggest fan.

real classy with nicknames- uses “my love/love,” and “darling,” the most.

his favorite petname from you is "pretty boy." gives him butterflies each time he hears it.

the first time you call him that, he's confused, but after you explain that being called pretty is basically the highest compliment a boy can receive, he gets all soft on you.

only uses instagram to like and comment on your pictures and that's it 😭.

comments stuff like “you're so pretty” and "beautiful," without any emojis because niko refuses to use them LOL.

remembers the compliments you give him! they help with his self esteem and i feel like he values your opinion a lot.

so, tell him all about how cute and smart and talented and hot and funny he is and how much you love him and he'll replay it in his head 24/7.

i think he prefers to be the big spoon, unless he's sad- then he really wants you to hold him.

niko gives me homebody vibes, so expect relaxed dates, but still nice, yk?

what i mean is niko's not gonna take you out to get gas station food and call it a day 😭 he's classier than that and he always puts in effort towards dates.

he always plans them ahead of time and takes into consideration what he thinks you'd enjoy. and he insists on paying 🤗.

but, niko always does something special for days like your birthday or an anniversary, like go somewhere fancy if you wanted to or buy a nice gift you've been eyeing for a while.

helps you with your schoolwork, 100%. most of the time niko tutors you because he wants you to actually learn the material, but if you're feeling lazy and just wanna get it over with, niko will just give you the answers.

this is a big deal because i love him and all but, niko gives me the vibe he's super stingy with his work 😭.

"this is the last time i'm going to just give you the answers, y/n." niko sighs out. "you have to start doing your homework by yourself."

niko's said that dozen of times but he's still giving you the answers free of charge. can you guys say #whipped 🤣?

LOL speaking of school, if you ever text him during class, i highly doubt that niko would entertain you 😭😭 (it's out of love, though)

y/n 💗: hiii baby imy 🥰

pretty boy: do your work, y/n.

y/n 💗: ALL I DID WAS SAY HI

pretty boy: pay attention.

y/n 💗: fine ur so lame 👎

pretty boy: whatever you say. i miss you too, by the way.

he likes to moves your hair out your face because he wants to see your pretty face better.

which is why you have to do the same with him 🥰!!!!!! makes him blush like crazy.

gets soooo soft when you post him or even take pictures of you and him together :') just the thought of you wanting to show him off makes him soooo happy.

he won't entertain you if you make a tiktok, though LOL. he's very stubborn in his belief that it's stupid.

just stands in the background with his arms crossed if you try to make him do a dance or something 😭 (he does think you look cute, though).

niko has such nice eyelashes but i doubt he's aware of it 'cause he's, y'know, a boy 🙄.

"my eyelashes are ... cute?" he questions. niko wasn't even aware that such a trivial thing like his eyelashes could be considered cute.

"yes, oh my god," you gush. "they're so long and nice, i wish mine were like that," you groan, examining yours through the camera of your phone.

"you're so weird, y/n," he says, a blush staining his cheeks. "your eyelashes are nicer," he mumbles as he kisses your forehead.

he's one of those people that prefers to be alone, but you're the exception. you know?

niko likes to keep to himself most of the time, but that whole thing doesn't apply to you, because he'd choose to be with you over being alone anytime :')

#THIS WAS SO LONG CHRKST #ilysmni i love you so much niko ikki #not a dating hc but i really thinkche has the kind of headphones that tsukki has 💀💀💀#niko ikki #niko ikki x reader #niko x reader #blue lock #bllk x reader #bllk #blue lock x reader #blue lock imagine #blue lock headcanons #bllk headcanons #niko ikki headcanons #niko ikki imagine #ikki niko #ikki niko x reader #bllk imagines

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jeanslongschlong · 3 years

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a-z fluff alphabet for connie springer

requested by @squidonmywall !! i hope you enjoy <3

warnings: some swearing

word count: 1871

A = Admiration (what do they absolutely adore about you?)

Your sense of humor! Connie is a really funny guy, so it means a lot to him that you can match his energy at all times. He doesn’t believe in soulmates, but he’s starting to think that maybe, just maybe…

B = Body (what is their favorite part of your body?)

Your cheeks! Connie LOVES to pinch them, caress them, kiss them, and so on. He makes it his life mission to make you blush, as seeing the red tint on your cheeks makes pride swell up in him over the fact that he made you have that reaction. He also loves when- jk, we’re keeping this PG here. I’ll expand more on this when I do his NSFW alphabet.

C = Cuddling (how do they like to cuddle?)

Under lots of blankets and on top of lots of pillows. But he will cuddle with you anywhere and everywhere; Connie is not shy about PDA with you.

D = Dates (what does their ideal date with you look like?)

I get extremely romantic vibes from Connie, so probably some sort of mountain getaway, during which you spend time in a sauna, go skiing, and have a candlelit dinner with the breathtaking view of the snow-tipped mountains in the background. I can assure you he will do everything in his power to make you swoon, and (more likely than not) CRINGE at some of his cheesy attempts at flirting. He may be a romantic, but I never said anything about being smooth. That is a whole other story.

E = Emotions (how do they express emotion around you?)

Connie is pretty open about his emotions with everyone, but even more so with you. You just make him feel so comfortable, he knows that no matter what he’s feeling you won’t judge him; you’ll try your hardest to sympathize and help him work through it. That’s another thing he loves about you, your empathy.

F = Family (do they want one? If they do, when?)

CONNIE WANTS LIKE FIVE KIDS AND YOU CANNOT CHANGE MY MIND. In any case, he only wants them if you want them of course. He isn’t going to force you into something you don’t want. However, I would say that it could be a deal breaker for him…but it just depends. If you do want to have kids as well, I’d say he wants to start having them around 24/25.

G = Gifts (how do they feel about gift giving? What are their habits when it comes to this?)

HE LOVES GIVING GIFTS. I don’t think he has a lot of money so they probably aren’t expensive ones, but expect a bunch of small things randomly. He doesn’t need a holiday to buy you a gift, he just does it whenever he feels like it (which is almost always LMFAO he’s such a sweetie I am in love).

H = Holding Hands (when/how do they like to hold hands?)

All the time. Everywhere. Everyday. He holds onto your hand like it’s his fucking LIFELINE. (please I simp for this man so much he is so precious help)

I = Injury (how would they act if you got hurt?)

Simply put, he would cry. Similar to Eren, he would most likely shut down, overwhelmed by the panic and regret that washes over him when someone informs him of your injury. He would be so patient and loving during your recovery period, though. If you were staying in a hospital room he would give you his pudding cups during dinnertime.

J = Jokes (do they like to joke around with or prank you? how?)

Obviously Connie likes to joke, he’s one of the funniest characters in AOT. However, pranks? Nah. Not alone, at least. Teamed up with Sasha is a whole other story. But I don’t think they’d be anything serious. If he did prank you, it would be like…hiding a whoopie cushion on the couch where you normally sit, not a breakup prank or a cheating prank. He thinks those are too cruel and he would feel wayyyy too bad about it.

K = Kisses (how do they like to kiss you?)

Lowkey…I feel like he gives wet and sloppy kisses. But the type that make you feel warm inside. Kissing him brightens your whole day, they’re so infused with love that you could faint.

L = Love (how do they show you they love you?)

Words, gifts, kisses, random hugs, cuddles, you name it. He makes it VERY KNOWN in every way possible that he loves you. He is not embarrassed about it at all, and he makes sure you don’t forget it.

M = Memory (favorite memory together?)

Your first date. He stuttered so bad and yet you didn’t make fun of him. That’s when he knew that he had it BAD for you. He went home and literally couldn’t sleep he was so overwhelmed with affection for you.

N = Nightmare (what is their worst fear?)

He’s afraid that his forwardness will eventually scare you away. He’s so open about everything, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that you are, so he’s afraid that one day he will overstep his boundaries and drive you away permanently.

O = Oddity (what is one quirk they have?)

French kissing is a no-no. Even though his kisses are wet and sloppy, I really think that the thought of your tongues in each other’s mouths gross him out. I think the same goes for Levi, too, if I’m being honest.

P = Pet Names (what do they like to call you?)

Angel, my love, my dearest. THIS BOY IS SO CHEESY BUT IT MELTS YOU

“You’re so pretty, angel. How the hell did I manage to get a girlfriend as heavenly as you?”

(And then you probably made fun of him and you two double over in the type of laughter that makes your stomach cramp. Oh, to be loved by Connie.)

Q = Quality Time (how do they like to spend time with you?)

A lot, quality time is his love language, second to gift giving. If he had it his way, the only time he would be away from you is when he was at work, at school, or going to the bathroom. Otherwise, he wants to be all up in your business. But, he respects your space so he tries to refrain from asking you to hang out every day. Key word: tries.

R = Rhythm (what song reminds you of them?)

“Two” by Sleeping At Last. No explanation needed.

S = Secrets (how open are they with you?)

He tells you everything, even things you think ‘god, why did he tell me that?’ afterwards. SO, he tells you everything. He keeps nothing from you, which makes surprising you SUPER hard for him LMAO. He just wants to tell you as soon as he possibly can.

T = Time (how long did it take you to get together?)

Not very long. 3 months at most. This boy can’t wait LOL he has 0 patience. He knew he wanted to make you his even before you had your first date, but he waited to give you time to think about what you wanted. (Although how could you not want him??? FR)

U = Upset (how do they act when you’re upset?)

Super supportive. He will be whatever you need him to be. If you need to scream at him to let out all of your frustration? He’ll let you. If you need him to hold a pillow for you to punch while you’re angry? Consider him your new punching bag. If you need him to just hold you and stroke your hair while you cry? He’ll do it. Anything for you.

V = Vaunt (what are they proud of? Do they like to show you off?)

He’s honestly just so happy that you love him. He loves to show you off; he tells anyone who will listen how amazing you are, how beautiful you are, how he’s convinced that if soulmates did exist, you’d be his.

W = Warrior (how do they feel about you fighting? Would they fight for you, beside you, etc?)

Like Eren, Connie would lay down his life for you in a heartbeat. He gets a little scared when he thinks about you fighting, but he knows that you’d be fine, so he never really voices that fear.

X = X-Ray (how well are they able to read you?)

Pretty damn well. He’s not dumb, he can tell when you’re actually mad and when you’re just crabby because you haven’t eaten. He’s memorized all of the indicators that point towards how you’re feeling, and he’s always prepared to deal with it.

Y = Yes (how would they propose to you?)

SOOOOO ROMANTICALLY PLS IM GONNA SOB THINKING ABOUT IT.

This is the only secret that I feel he would successfully keep from you; he wants to make it as special as possible (which is quite the opposite of Eren LOL). He would take you on a walk near sunset, and would time it so perfectly that you would end up at the place you first met right when the sun starts to set.

The sky is filled with picturesque shades of pinks, yellows, reds, and oranges, and you stop for a moment to gape in astonishment at its beauty. He admires you as you stare at the sky, your hand held to your forehead to shield your eyes from the brunt of the sun’s mighty rays, your eyes filled with such bewilderment that it warms him from the inside out. He takes this moment to kneel down onto one knee, reaching back to fish out the black ring box he had put in his pockets a few hours before.

“Y/N…” he says softly, trying to get your attention. You turn around, expecting him to make fun of you for being so infatuated with the colors of the sky, but instead let out a strangled gasp.

“Holy shit, are you-“

“Yes,” he smiles up at you and reaches out with his left hand to grasp your right. He gives your hand a loving squeeze, sucks in a breath, then continues, “I knew from the moment we met here all of those years ago that I was going to marry you. You know how I knew?” You shake your head no. “The moment our eyes met, I was filled with such a sense of completion that there was no other way to explain it. I’ve told you many times that I don’t believe in soulmates, that I think it’s just a shanty created by the romance genre to create unrealistic expectations when it comes to love. But…I’m now thoroughly convinced that you are mine.”

“Connie, I-“

“Marry me.”

“Yes.”

Z = Zen (what makes them feel calm?)

Taking a nap with you under a thick blanket. He loves to be held by you, so preferably with him on top of you, your arms wrapped tightly around him and him using your stomach as a pillow. Prime sleeping position for Connie Springer.

#aot headcanons #aot #attack on titan x reader #connie springer x reader #connie springer #connie springer fluff alphabet #snk #shingeki no kyojin #attack on titan

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simpurnatural · 3 years

Text

SFW Alphabet - Jack Manifold Edition

request: fluff alphabet with jack manifold ?

Jack Manifold x Reader

Warning ⚠️: Probably a swear word or two :)

Any writing errors? Point them out! Love some helpful feedback! <3

REQUESTS ARE OPEN LUVS <3

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Jack’s love language(s) is probably quality time and physical touch. He’s not one for PDA but he will hold and kiss your hand, kiss your cheek, and all the gentlemen type things.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

He’s the chaotic friend that laughs at everything. The friendship would’ve started when you guys both in English at college. You thought he was funny and he thought that you were a dork so you guys clicked instantly.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

Oh most definitely, Jack makes sure to get his daily hugs and cuddles in from anyone who is willing to give them to him.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

Eventually yes, but barely being eighteen he won’t be thinking about settling down with a family anytime soon. Lad can pour himself a pint but has probably burned water at least more than once. He’s a tidy man though, cleans after himself and makes sure to not leave any messes.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

He’d stutter a bit but he’d eventually get to the point while holding your hand like:

“Listen, I don’t think this’ll work out.”

But then he’d read your emotions wrong and start blabbering his ass off like:

“Well no- But yeah you’re a g-great person just not for me? But I assure you that there a plenty of fish in the sea! Wait- but not like actual fish that would-”

“-Jack, I get it.”

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

If and when he asks you to marry him, he knows he’s in it to win it and will be by your side till the end. He doesn’t think about getting married (in general) anytime soon since he’s still got a whole of adulting ahead of him.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

Jack is a very gentle whether it’s in the way he holds you or in the way he speaks to you. He also is open to sharing how he feels about most things and is always ready to listen when you need him.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

He LOVES hugs, especially if they’re from you. He turns those two second hugs into a cuddle session if there’s time for it.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

He doesn’t say it too early in the relationship but it does come out when you both least expect it.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

He doesn’t get jealous easily but he’s a sarcastic little shit that scoffs whenever you try to ask.

“Is Jack Manifold jealous because of the guy from ASDA?” you tease.

“As if,”

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

He usually kisses your cheek, hand, and or forehead the most. His kisses are always out of love and so soft. He likes being kissed on the cheek or the lips.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

He's fine with kids but you know damn well that if he saw one trip over themselves then he’d be on the floor cackling. He knows how to properly hold a baby so that’s somethinf.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

He’d bring you a cup of tea in the morning with some jammie dodgers and enjoy laying in bed with you hours on end.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

You guys will literally watch anything whether it’s on youtube, netflix, hulu WHATEVER while laying in bed. He’d have a arm around your waist while you lay head on his chest.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

Jack will literally talk about anything (but not in a self-absorbed way) if you’re willing to listen. He won’t blabber his whole life story but you get to learn something new about him everyday.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

He’s very patient and rarely almost never raises his voice. Jack is a really chill and laid back lad.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?

He usually remembers most things but not everything.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

His favorite memory is when he asked you to be his girlfriend. He was a stuttering mess but you said

“Oh get on with it Manifold!” “Or will I have to ask you myself?”

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

He knows that you can hold your own but he knows when to step in. He’d probably speak for you if he sees that you were scared or at a lose of words. He likes knowing that his bff or s/o will kick someone’s ass if they try anything.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

Depending on how you guys plan them. He can rock a suit yet build a pretty neat pillow fort. His gifts are you unique but always something that you’ve mentioned before. He’s good with everyday tasks like washing the dishes and doing the laundry.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

I hate to point it out but he bites his nails a bit.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

Not too concerned, he’s well aware that he’s a handsome fella.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

Yep. He’s the type to send you random texts/pics through-out the day saying miss you or can’t wait to see you soon.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

You guys play music regularly in your flat so jack tends to ask you to dance with him every now and then.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

He doesn’t like a partner who won’t put in the effort to communicate properly with him or keeps their stuff tidy and organized.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

He tends to sleep on his side, holding you close to his chest.

shoutout to @the-coldest-goodbye for the template <3

#jack manifold #jack manifold fanfiction #mcyt #mcyt fanfiction #dream smp #dream smp fanfiction #cant stop that jack manifold grind

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leviachaan · 4 years

Note

would ask for a matchup but i decided to go w/ a headcannon request. how would the brothers or undateables (whichever you’re more experienced at writing ^^) react to MC taking them to ikea? apparently the furniture names are like demon summoning rituals if you try to pronounce them. 👀

//This is honestly so amusing to imagine siajdjks we need to somehow bring them all to IKEA for real

Lucifer 🎲

"MC, stay close to me so you don't get lost. It could be dangerous in this labyrinth" "Lucifer, honey, this is a furniture store" "oh"

You cannot change my mind that this man would be staring at the most gothic yet elegant pieces of furniture ever (I thought of lamps for some reason)

His eyes would be constantly glued on you. You never know what could come out from under those beds, MC.

He would do his best to stifle a laugh from your poor attempt of pronouncing a word.

"Take your time" remarks here and there to piss you off Lucifer you little shit

MC: "These words feel like I'm summoning a demon"

Lucifer: "????? excUSE-"

He ends up buying the gothic lamp. Another addition to his dungeon looking bedroom.

After his fascination for the lamp is over, he would mostly be focused on you and your cute little outbursts of excitement over random things.

"Lucifer, look at all those candles! Don't they look great??" "Of course, my dear"

Your room would be 90% candles the next morning.

And a matching lamp

Mammon💴

For the love of Diavolo

Don't. Leave. Him. Alone.

He will steal buy everything that he finds on his way the second you turn your head away.

The whole building is like a Mammon harem. He needs to buy everything. He needs it, MC.

"How many bucks if I fit this whole table in my pockets" "maMMON NO-"

You bet he would find a way to piss the employees off to the point you two would have to run and hide inside one of the closets.

"Y-you sure must be feeling grateful to be stuck with someone like me inside a closet, human" "Mammon, I swear to everything holy-"

The whole walk would be you having to babysit Mammon and sweet talk him out of buying every object in the bloody building and him criticising stuff.

Mammon: "Who would even buy a bed like that?"

MC: "I like that bed"

Mammon: "I love that bed"

He would end up getting lost and you would have to ask one of the employees to help you search for him.

"Sir, please follow me, your guardian is looking for you"

Leviathan 🐍

It would take l o t s and l o t s of convincing to even bring him out of his room. You had to promise him two nights of TSL binge watching as compensation.

Why go there when we can enjoy the online IKEA simulator?

Would 1000% stick to you like a lost puppy. He's not used to being outside and in such a huge building, please don't leave him alone.

He would shyly hold the hem of your shirt for comfort (would try to hold your hand as well, but if you mentioned it he would be like "ROTF how did my hand get there? LOL!"

At some point he saw you staring at a love seat.

MC, please no

You: >:)

MC, NO

You ended up pulling him down with you on the love seat. Congrats! You broke Leviathan!

He would bury his face inside his shirt like an ostrich, anything to avoid you seeing the ridiculously prominent blush on his face.

He felt pride swelling in him though once people looked at you sitting on the love seat together.

"They are mine. Take that, normies"

Satan📖

He would s p r i n t to every vintage bookcase that caught his eye.

Probably the only one of the brothers to actually look at the furniture.

You would turn away for 0.1 seconds and you would find him sitting on one of the chairs for display already having read 3 of the books meant for props.

"Dear, do you know where an employee is? I want to borrow this book-"

Will definitely try to buy the book

It was an accident, but you got really excited by a small plant and wandered around, leaving Satan behind as a result.

Needless to say, you would find him soon enough as he would be punching through every fake door in his way and yeeting chairs to the Gods thinking that someone kidnapped you.

"DID YOU TAKE THEM???" *insert terrified employee*

You would have to literally tackle him to prevent him from murdering everyone on sight.

You would have to explain his demon form to everyone as part of a Halloween themed party

Even if it's August

Asmodeus👛

If you think this man would do anything else but stare at the mirrors, you are wrong.

"Darling, look how amazing this mirror looks! Oh wait, it's just me~"

If you are interested in actually buying something, he's your demon.

People would actually ask him things, because they would think he works there.

You are in for a 2 hour long presentation for the reasons the pale pink chair fits the shade of your bedroom wall more than the pastel orange one.

He would insist on you two taking pictures in front of absolutely every mirror on display.

He maintains that he did it because he wants to decide which one to get later back at home, but in reality he really wants his phone to be full of pictures of you.

You are the most beautiful thing in his eyes and he wants to stare at you all the time 💖

Beelzebub🍔

Food detected

This hungry boi would locate the cafeteria as soon as you two stepped inside the building.

MC: "We could eat lunch here! But it takes a while to get to the cafeteria and to find it-"

Beel: "Found it "

He's really hungry, but he doesn't want to ruin your date so he will follow you around everywhere you go and patiently wait for you to say it's time to eat.

Poor boi will feel his heart pounding louder than his stomach once you show him a small hamburger plushie with a smile on it and told him it reminds you of him.

MC: "It's cute, just like you!" Beel: 🥺

He bought the plushie and is now officially sleeping with it every night and if anyone dares to touch it, he will eat their hands.

He has to hold back from eating it, but it reminds him of you and he holds it close to his chest every night so he won't have nightmares.

His smile could beat heaven itself once you two sit to eat.

Belphegor 💤

You thought persuading Levi was hard? Take a look at this fool.

You would have to literally b e g this damn cow to get out of his bed and come with you.

You promised him cuddles and naps when you come back so you better stick to your word.

As soon as he locates the beds, you are done.

Not even the three realms together could make this man stand back up.

MC: "Belphie, please, get up"

Belphie: "Make me"

Fun fact: you couldn't make him.

This demon grabbed your hand and pulled you down on the bed with him.

He clang to you like a koala and wouldn't let go no matter what.

You would softly try to remind him that there are people watching.

He would straight up growl at anyone that looked at you or tried to make you two get up.

You were eventually kicked out and Belphie couldn't be happier.

Time to go home and cuddle you.

Diavolo 👑

"So this is how humans spend their time! So intriguing!"

He would act like an excited puppy the whole time. Yes, this man is the prince of hell.

He would be thrilled by e v e r y t h i n g and I mean e v e r y t h i n g.

You two would end up playing hide and seek and he would easily find you every time.

He's a demon, he can smell your scent from 1 kilometer away. That's the only reason he would let you roam around like that without being worried about your well-being.

He can't really hide from you either considering how tall and buff he is.

You would pretend not to see him so you could see that beautiful grin on his face thinking that he hid well. Protect him.

Mentally writes down anything you seem to like so he can buy it for you.

He wants you to feel safe and accepted in the Devildom so he will get you anything he can to make you feel like home 🥺

You wake up the next day with your room fully redecorated and a heartwarming letter from Diavolo thanking you for taking him with you and him hoping you had fun as well with a small smily face at the end.

I'm weak for this man

This took me a while to write, but it was so fun! I hope you enjoyed it! I will try to practise more on writing for Simeon and Solomon and make sure to write about them too next time! Thank you for the request 💖

#obey me #obey me headcanons #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me levi #obey me satan #obey me asmo #obey me asmodeus #obey me beel #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphie #obey me belphegor #obey me diavolo

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birb-tangleblog · 3 years

Note

AU Meme! 👀 Hector and Adira join the group post-Tree. (F in the chat for Hector McBrokenRib, benched in the caravan until he recovers? 😩)

OKAY I LOVE THIS IDEA FOR AN AU TOO, BLESS YOU FOR THIS ASK. Legit give me Hector and Adira joining the group and replacing Shorty + Hookfoot. (And I'm a sucker for scenarios where characters who have a lot of conflict get stuck together or have to cooperate, so this AU hits that note perfectly.)

I can see this AU going a few ways! Like, Hector could accompany the party b/c he accepts Adira's initial offer to return to the DK together (which would have a bigger ripple effect), or b/c they're forced to bring him along with them due to more serious injuries. Another possibility is that Adira also gets hurt, so she can't go back, and they both need to accompany the group.

1. Hector's presence would lead to a lot of tension within the caravan, and be extremely high stress for Hector himself. He's surrounded by people he doesn't trust, outnumbered, unarmed, and weak/dependent on them. He can't stop them from carrying on with their goal, and being bedridden would probably get claustrophobic after a while. Honestly, I think he'd be really caustic- a terrible patient, stubborn, verbally attacking people, etc., at least starting out.

2. Meanwhile w/ the party, Hector's taking up extra space in the guy's side of the caravan, he's ill-tempered, and I highly doubt Eugene or Lance would be too keen on sharing a room with him. I can see there being arguments over pragmatism vs. morality, with Cass being the most unhappy– this guy tried to KILL them, beat her, and they're letting him come with them?? She'd probably see it as another instance of Raps not valuing her judgment/trusting Adira over her- and she's not wrong to feel that way, even if Hector eventually becomes an ally.

3. It'd be interesting and strange for the party to see another side of Adira- she keeps her distance from them for the most part, but now she's sticking close and they're seeing her interact with someone from her past that she knows very well. Overhearing their conversations (and probably listening to them hash out old arguments) would shed a lot of light on her, Hector, and the DK/moonstone. Same goes for Adira spending time with the mains and getting to know them more.

4. Rapunzel would feel driven to try to talk to Hector, both b/c she wants to smooth things over with everyone by befriending him, and b/c she believes that he'll come around if he just understands that she's the sundrop. It'd probably backfire, and she'd be met with a LOT of hostility- but I do think being around her, the party, and Adira would eventually start to erode his way of thinking and the narrative he's trying to maintain about them and the moonstone.

5. Hector + Adira accompanying the party to the Shellhouse would be incredible. Cass and Adira agreeing for once that something is a terrible idea. Hector glaring Matthews into submission when he tries to suggest his animals have to stay in the stables? Baby Brotherhood and BEARCAT CUBS if they get hit by the top- Adira becoming the younger of the two and Hector getting to be older and taller for once b/c of how the top works??

AND MIRROR MIRROR. Ngl, I can see Hector or Adira getting got by demons simply b/c they haven't had a proper mirror in ages, and just wanted to do their hair/paint, RIP. Cue "Hector" strolling in and politely greeting everyone when they sit down for dinner, or "Adira" calling Cass and Eugene by their actual names.

Also consider Adira freaking everyone out when she fights the mirror demons b/c she isn't showing any of her usual restraint against them, and it's REALLY DISCONCERTING. This is more than one bullet point but the shenanigans from including Hector and Adira in the latter half of S2 would've been so good, ok.

#and Mirror Mirror feat. H + A would be really fun #but I also think them tagging along as a protective detail for the events of Lost and Found would work v well #it'd seal the deal on Hector believing the sundrop is real + increase both his and Adira's faith in Raps and Eugene #+ obvious Brotherhood lore drop opportunity w/ the scroll #this one got long... CAN YOU TELL I'VE MAYBE THOUGHT ABT IT BEFORE......#''Cass smothers Hector w/ a pillow and then acts surprised the next morning'' AU #text post #ask #ask meme #xannerz #ty for the ask!!#hector #adira

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inevitably-johnlocked · 4 years

Note

You've probably seen me and my asks/reposts/reblogs a few times and if not I mean- Anyways! I'm craving some BAMF! John content bc who wouldn't want that in their life? Also- I really love all that you do for the fandom and your followers. (I was an old Nonny who spoke about being asexual. I was wrong and I mean it happens-) But yeah you are super duper amazing and I hope one day I can do the same for others

Hey Lovely! <3

Aww, it’s okay to change your labels when figure out who you are (I certainly have)! I have a lot of asks from ace nonnies, so I’m not sure which one is yours, hahah. That said, don’t feel bad for identifying as one thing until recently... it’s normal. <3

Ah, yes, we all love a badass mother-fuckin’ John!! I’ve only done one list related to it, so I’ll link to it below :) As always, I encourage everyone to add their own fics to the list below!

Thank you for your kind words, and I hope you enjoy what I’ve got for you! <3

BAMF and/or SOLDIER JOHN

See also: BAMF! But Insecure John

Idiot by Anesthesiologist (T, 1,229 w., 1 Ch. || Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, TGG AU, BAMF John, Sherlock Whump, Inner Monologue, John Saves Sherlock, POV Sherlock) – What the heck happened? He remembered the pool and Moriarty, but then what? Had he been dying?

Shooter by Amputation (K+, 1,406 w. || Post-TRF, Suspense, BAMF!John) – The men were trying to rile the other into acting first, it seemed. How boringly predictable and dull this was!

The 3x John Carried Sherlock, and Once ViceVersa by ShinkonoKokoro (K+, 1,673 w., 1 Ch. || Fluff, Friendship, Three and One, BAMF John, Sherlock Whump, Worried Sherlock, John Gets Shot) – It happens more than he suspects.

In Which John is a BAMFy MoFo, OMG! by Kantayra (T, 1,835 w., 1 Ch. || Humour) – John's BAMFness and Sherlock's damsel-in-distress act are caught forever on camera. So Scotland Yard can mock. A lot.

Coming Full Circle by KCS (K+, 2,358 w., 1 Ch. || Alternate TGG, Friendship, Drama, Violence/Death References, Drugging/Poisoning, Kidnapping, BAMF John, Moriarty POV, Introspection) – Moriarty had John for almost six hours between his abduction and the showdown at the pool - more than enough time to implement a Plan B for his escape should Sherlock call his bluff with the fake bomb vest.

Butterfly, Pinned Under Glass by billiethepoet (E, 4,648 w., 1 Ch. || Possessive Sherlock, Jealousy, Barebacking, BAMF!John) – It started as a desire to keep John safe and whole, and ended up as just desire.

Stranded by BeautifulFiction (T, 5,798 w., 1 Ch. || First Kiss, Communication / Relationship Discussion, Pining Sherlock, Sherlock POV, BAMF John, Doctor John, Case Fic, Drinking, Huddling For Warmth, Friends to More) – When stranded on a derelict barge at high tide, John and Sherlock reconsider their friendship.

The Death of Doubt by Gingerhermit (E, 6,584 w., 1 Ch. || Alternate Canon, BAMF John, POV Sherlock, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Hurt/Comfort, Angst/Drama, Meddling Mycroft) – Mycroft asks for John’s help in rescuing Sherlock from his Serbian captors.

High and Tight, Soft and Loose by cwb (E, 7,429 w., 1 Ch. || Jealous John, Miscommunications / Misunderstandings, First Kiss / Time, BAMF John, Insecure Sherlock, Clueless Sherlock, POV John, Embarrassed John, Adorable Sherlock, Junk Size, UST / RST) – John pressed the knuckle of his index finger against his mouth and sighed. “So, you're coiled like a spring and ready to be ... sprung?” “If you want to be pedestrian about it, yes.” “Like I said, you should do something about that.” “And like I said, pedestrian. What would you have me do? Take up jogging? Yoga? Oh! Unless you mean –” “I don't mean anything. Let’s drop it.”

I'm Pretty Sure This Changes Shit by cwb (E, 7,672 w., 1 Ch. || Fluff, Cudding, Doctor/Patient, Accidents, Pining Sherlock, Blow Jobs, Oral / Anal, BAMF John, Minor Injuries, Dev. Rel.) – Sherlock finds increasingly ridiculous ways to get John to patch him up after hurting himself.

Every Night I Look for You by destinationtoast (E, 8,377 w., 1 Ch. || POV John, Post-TRF, Angst, Mystery, Unsafe Sex, BAMF John) – Every night, John looks for familiar hints of Sherlock in the men he meets in bars, and he does with them all the things he wishes he’d done before. Eventually, he stumbles into a situation that Sherlock would know how to handle, and John must decide whether he can handle it without him.

Made for You by Raxicoricofallapatorious (K, 8,440 w., 1 Ch. || Friendship, Sci-Fi, Androids) – When John was shot in the shoulder he was decommissioned and his memory and personality was wiped. Sherlock was given the blank droid and he quickly learns that this droid is more than it seems. John just so happened to come back and no one can fathom how or why. Johnlock if you squint.

Matters of National Security by mistyzeo (E, 8,465 w., 1 Ch. || BAMF John, Doctor John, Jealous Sherlock, Dating, Bisexuality, Arguing, Stupidity, Teasing, First Kiss/Time, Hand Jobs, Frottage, RST, Idiots in Love) – John starts dating a male client of Sherlock's, and Sherlock can't figure out why he's so incensed about it.

Stay Awake by pandoras_chaos (E, 9,325 w., 1 Ch. || BAMF!John, First Time, Angst, Pining Sherlock, Rimming, Oral/Anal) – Sherlock can feel the tenuous threads of this conversation shuddering under the strain of all the unspoken words. His eyes narrow as he gazes up at John, noting the residual tension in his shoulders, the dark circles under his lower lids, and the way he is avoiding Sherlock’s eyes like a bi-polarized magnet. He knows John Watson inside and out, like the perfectly balanced coils and gears of a beautifully balanced grandfather clock, and yet John keeps surprising him. It’s uncanny, the way he keeps on being so utterly and wonderfully unpredictable.

John Watson’s Moon by patternofdefiance (E, 11,314 w., 1 Ch. || Werewolf John, First Time, BAMF John, First Time, Anal, Fleeting Depictions of Violence) – Sherlock finds out John is a werewolf and wants to see the transformation. It, uh, gets really kinky.

The Red Dianthus by kinklock (T, 11,382 w., 3 Ch. || Supernatural Elements, BAMF!John, Misunderstandings, Fluff, Romance, Halloween, Dev. Rel., Case Fic) – The boys investigate a mysterious disappearance in a supposedly haunted house, and get much more than they bargained for.

The Hand You're Dealt by Lady Sam Mallory (T, 12,092 w., 1 Ch. || Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Light Violence, BAMF John, Doctor John, Injury, Friendship) – Sherlock, John and several others are trapped in a building when an explosion disrupts the crime scene they are working.

Fear Itself by KCS (K+, 12,289 w., 3 Ch. || Suspense, Friendship) – John is accustomed to being kidnapped by now, but he never expected a criminal to adopt Mycroft's method of doing so, to ensure he comes along without a fight.

To be loved by Strange_johnlock (E, 12,436 w., 8 Ch. || Post S3, Established Relationship, First Person POV Sherlock, Pet Names, Soft Sherlock, Mild ADHD, Protective John, Captain Watson, Body Appreciation, Bottomlock, Rough Sex, Travelling for Holidays, Introspection, Sherlock Loves John So Much It Hurts) – John is so deeply integrated into the work, both as my conductor of light, and as a great shot with a vicious right hook who tackles men -and women- no matter their size all in my defense. He protects me with all he can without question, and this loyalty is surely more than I deserve. Or: Sherlock is counting his blessings.

On The Fence by BeautifulFiction (T, 13,770 w., 1 Ch. || Fencing, Case Fic, First Kiss, Insecure John, Pining John, Hug, Greg Finds Out) – The murder of the King's College fencing champion leads to revelations about Sherlock's past. Will it be the point that tips them from friends to lovers, or will they remain on the fence?

The Acronym by DancingGrimm (T, 15,057 w. || Humour) – "'Bee Ay Em Eff'. Hm, that's a new one on me. Do you know what it means, Sherlock?" John might not know what it means, but there are many little ways in which he proves the acronym suits him.

I Will Take Care Of You by SailorChibi (T, 16,664 w., 15 Ch. || Hurt/Comfort, Sick Sherlock, BAMF John, BAMF Lestrade, Reunion Fic) – Two years after Sherlock's death, John comes to find him on the sofa. Wounded and ill, Sherlock is convinced he's hallucinating and refuses to share any details about Moran or the fact that Mycroft has been compromised. That doesn't stop John from stepping up and taking care of the last of Moriarty's web, BAMF-style.

Hope for Heroes by Richefic (K+, 16,887 w., 5 Ch. || Post-TGG Fic, Introspection / Flashbacks, Friendship/Epic Bromance, Hurt/Comfort, Worried/Anxious Sherlock, Sherlock Admires John, BAMF John, John Deduces, Fancy Party, John’s Self Esteem, Domestics) – In the final moments of "The Great Game" Holmes hopes he will have the chance to tell his flatmate that he was wrong. Heroes do exist after all and the one in front of him is called Dr John Watson.

Traitor's Gate by roane (E, 17,714 w., 6 Ch. || Post-TRF, Case Fic, Mystery, Bets and Wagers, Undercover for a Case, BAMF John, Scientist Sherlock, Teasing, Established Relationship, Military Base, Sexting/Texting, Military/Uniform Kink, Frottage, Dirty Sex, Anal, Bottomlock) – John and Sherlock go undercover at a top secret government lab to find out who is selling research. John is back in uniform and Sherlock is back in a laboratory, but they have to pose as strangers. Sherlock thinks he'll have an easy time of it, but John has his doubts. It's up to them to find out who is responsible for putting a dangerous weapon in the wrong hands, and try to keep their hands off each other at the same time.

5 Times John Got the Girl (and lost her) and 1 Time John Got the Guy (and kept him) by LiviKate (M, 21,695 w., 6 Ch. || 5 and Ones, Kissing, Oblivious / Awkward Sherlock, BAMF / Sexy / Stud John, Embarrassed John, John’s Scar, Hurt/Comfort, Jealous Sherlock) – John has always had good luck with the ladies. He's charming, friendly and funny, not to mention great in bed. However, his usual skill with the opposite sex is constantly being thwarted by Sherlock and his outbursts. How will John ever get a leg over when Sherlock is always cockblocking him?

Knotted by naughtyspirit (E, 23,166 w., 4 Ch. || UST/URT, Cuddling, Sharing Body Heat, Confessions, Kissing, Mastrubation, Frustration, BAMF!John) – John has to cancel a date because of Sherlock's case, which leads them to be tied up in a basement from which they have to escape. They get wet, get tied up close and John has to step up and save them. Because he's pretty. And hot. And just a little bit of a BAMF.

Maintaining A Personal Life by Gingerhermit (E, 24,284 w., 6 Ch. || Alternating POV’s, Bisexuality, BAMF!John, Jealous Sherlock, Romance / Drama, Sort-of Case Fic, Peril & Angst, Love Confessions, Toplock, Soft Idiots in Love, Post S3) – Sherlock and John discover some interesting revelations about each other’s sexuality, which lead them both to question the assumptions they've made about one another for years. In the midst of their mutual discoveries, a dangerous psychopath looms on the side-lines who threatens to destroy their new beginning.

Invisible by chappysmom (K+, 25,947 w., 11 Ch. || No Slash, semi-canon compliant) – John had had the knack for as long as he could remember. It wasn’t that he could become invisible, exactly. The laws of physics worked quite well in his vicinity, thank you very much. It was just that people tended … not to see him. {{This was one of the first AU’s I read, and I still love it to this day}}. SEQUELS: Still Invisible (ASiB) || Too Visible (THoB) || Invisible Once More (TRF)

And A Doctor by StillWaters1 (T, 27,393 w., 6 Ch. || Friendship, Doctor John, Whump, Soldier / Doctor Dichotomy, Five and One) – It was only when people actually saw John working as a physician that they began to understand: that it wasn't just about bullets and IEDs and trauma care under fire. That "doctor" actually covered a pretty wide field. And that John was bloody good at covering ground. 5 times Dr. Watson treated others and 1 time he treated himself.

26 Pieces by Lanning (E, 28,236 w., 1 Ch. || H/C, Torture, First Time, Happy Ending, Schmoop, Past Abuse) – Mycroft gives Sherlock the apparently simple task of solving a puzzle box containing a stolen microchip. It isn't simple.

Hellfire by testosterone_tea (E, 28,596 w., 9 Ch. || Fantasy / Magic / Mages / Elementals AU || Mage Sherlock, Elemental John, Developing Relationship, Torture, Powerful / BAMF John, POV Alternating, Dark / Blood Magic, UST, First Kiss) – Sherlock is a Mage that gets involved with a case involving Dark Summoning rituals, leading him to John Watson, a man with Berserker blood. The only thing is, Berserkers have been extinct for centuries. And of course, nothing involving Mycroft and his interfering ways is ever simple. This time, even Sherlock may have bitten off more than he can chew.

To Mend Icarus by AlessNox (T, 29,186 w., 14 Ch. || Post-TRF, Friendship, Drama, BAMF!John, Emotional Turmoil, Introspection, Harry is in this Fic, Angry John, Happy Ending, Queerplatonic Relationship) – After a case lands John Watson in court, he tells Sherlock that he is leaving. Not understanding why, Sherlock decides that the only way to learn the truth is to investigate his flatmate, Dr. John Watson. A revision of the story Mending Icarus.

A Study In Auto-Signatures, Sniper Dolphins, and Sex Holidays by cwb (E, 32,689 w., 8 Ch. || Case Fic, Post S3, Evil Mary, Dev. Rel., Beach Holidays, Confused Sherlock, Friends to Lovers, Honeymoon, Epistolary, Bottomlock, First Kiss / Time, Fluff, Secret Agents, BAMF!John) – John and Mary go on their sex holiday, and Sherlock is grumpy and pining about it. Part 1 of HOT DOLPHIN SEX

The Wrong Wagon by DancingGrimm (E, 35,663 w., 20 Ch. || Alternating POV, Molly/ John [Molly pines for John], Public Sex, Casual Sex, Obliviousness, BAMF!John, Awkwardness, Angst & Humour, First Time, Virgin Sherlock, Jealous Sherlock) – Molly sees John in a new light and realises that she may have hitched her horse to the wrong wagon...or something like that. John pines for Sherlock and worries what he will think if he ever finds out. And Sherlock doesn't know what Molly's up to...but he knows he doesn't like it.

we have never seen a greater day than this by Lediona (T, 36,420 w., 7 Ch. || A Royal Night Out AU || WWII / VE Day, Prince Sherlock, Soldier John, Alternating POV, First Kiss, Bittersweet Ending, Homophobia, Dancing) – Peace. At long last. It’s VE Day and Prince William desires to join the celebrations. It is a night of excitement, danger and the first flutters of romance.

A Week is Just Seven Days Isn't It? by scifigrl47 (T, 39,906 w., 4 Ch. || Humour, Friendship/Bromance, Stroppy/Bored Sherlock, Undercover/Army John, Texting, Pining-ish Sherlock, John Whump) – When John heads overseas for a week, Sherlock's forced to fend for himself. It goes about as well as anyone could have anticipated. Which is to say, very, very poorly. Don't worry, things'll be fine in just seven days.

Right Hand Man by SilentAuror (E, 42,031 w., 4 Ch. || H/C, Injury, Slow Burn) – When John's left arm becomes paralysed after a car accident, Mary asks Sherlock to take him back to Baker Street to recuperate, as she's about to give birth. Despite the fact that the search for Moriarty is ongoing, Sherlock takes John in and takes responsibility for overseeing his rehabilitation as he adjusts to the loss of his arm.

Guidelines by WithLoweredVoices (M, 43,018 w., 15 Ch. || Winglock || Angels, Fantasy, Angst, BAMF! John, War, Jealous Sherlock, Possessive Sherlock, Jealous John, Falling in Various Ways, Needy Sherlock, Wings) – The Good Soldier, one of the oldest and strongest of the fallen, is offered a bargain: to live as John Watson and to Guide a fledgling archangel so that he will stay on the path of good. Of course, Sherlock Holmes has different ideas about his destiny. Fantasy AU. Warnings for violence, occasional gore, and a whole load of hurt and angst.

Left by lifeonmars (M, 45,153 w., 9 Ch. || Magical Realism, BAMF!John, Slow Burn) – John Watson is left-handed. He’s tried not to let it affect his life, but as any Lefty knows, that’s almost impossible.

Impossible to Feign by achray (M, 49,204 w., 12 Ch. || TRF Rewrite / Reverse Reichenbach, Suicidal Ideations / Discussions, Drug Use/Abuse, Mutual Pining, Friends With Benefits, John Accepts his Sexuality, Anxious Sherlock, Meddling Mycroft, Depression, Hallucinations, Secret Agent John, BAMF John, Reunion, Make-Up Sex, Ambiguous Ending) – Sherlock leant forward, his long fingers curving round to grip John’s.“I won’t let him win,” he said, eyes hard. “I will do whatever it takes to get you out.”

Coventry by standbygo (E, 52,020 w., 26 Ch. || Dollhouse AU || Case Fic, Slow Burn, Sci-Fi / Fantasy, First Kiss / Time, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, BAMF John, Falling in Love) – “Let me get this straight,” John said, wondering when his life had become a science fiction film. “Some guy orders up a personality, a person, to his specifications, and they program this into a real live person, who has consented to do this, and she goes to this person and acts as his wife, or lawyer, or Royal Marine, or Navy Seal or what have you, and she has all the skills, all the knowledge, everything? Then you say the magic words, and she follows you back to The House, and they erase it all until her next appointment?”

Albion and the Woodsman by Glenmore (NR [E], 54,437 w., 50 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Post S3, Parentlock, Pining Sherlock, Angst, Family, Drug Use, Depression, Sherlock POV, Light Humour, Reconnecting, Declarations of Love) – Sherlock and John are devastated after Mary Morstan makes her final moves. Sherlock relapses at the crack house, John walks around the world … and a lot happens in between. Parentlock, in the good way.

Wars We Fought, Things We're Not by blueink3 (M, 55,204 w., 10 Ch. || Post S3 / Post TAB, Parentlock, Fluff & Angst, Kidnapping, Whump, Post-TAB, UST/URT, 3G, Mild Peril, Slow Burn, Couple for a Case, Protective Mycroft, Infant Death Pre-Story, Friends to Lovers) – Five months after John's world has fallen apart, Mycroft sends the consulting detective and his doctor on a case that neither is prepared for.

A Hundred Crimson Sols by elldotsee (E, 55,536 w., 16 Ch. || Astronauts AU || Mars Exploration / Space Travel, Slow Burn, Shy Sherlock, Scientist Sherlock / Biomed Engineer John, Alternating POV, Mutual Pining, UST, Angst with Happy Ending, Domestic Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Injuries, Suicidal Ideation, Zero-G Sex) – Will Holmes is a chemical researcher recognized widely for his contributions to the new Mars exploration program. Thanks to his ground-breaking developments, the IMMC (International Mars Mission Corporation) is one step closer to Martian colonization. Will and his team of scientists are headed out on the first of three manned missions before the first group of settlers arrive. Three days before launch, one of the crew has to be replaced. Will panics because...new people. The replacement is of course one John Watson, biomedical engineer and space hottie who was pretty sure he had retired from actual space exploration and was now content to work in the nice, quiet research lab. Can the crew survive this TOTALLY ROUTINE trip? Will they be able to endure each other for the looooooong trip in close quarters? Gonna be a wild ride... prepare for blast off. Part 1 of SpaceBois go to Space

The Thing Is by TSylvestris (E, 56,743 w., 21 Ch. || Case Fic, Dev. Rel., Anal/Oral, Blow Jobs, Meddling Mycroft, Drama, Romance, Humour, Casual Encounters, Pining Idiots, Possessive Sherlock, Orgasm Delay, Rough / Alley Sex, Public Sex, John Whump, Drugged John, Emotional Love Making, Awkward Relationship, Marriage of Convenience, Switchlock, BAMF John) – The problem with living with Sherlock, John thought, was that you never, never, ever knew the significance of anything. Like your flatmate's nose buried in your hair. Whilst you're in bed. Part 1 of Nitroglycerine

The Burning by SrebrnaFH (M, 60,658 w., 24 Ch. || Reverse Reichenbach, Suicide, Depression, Hurt Sherlock / John, Separation, BAMF John, Good Big Brother Mycroft, Angst, Implied/Referenced Torture, Fake Character Death, Rescue Mission, Reconciliation / Reunion, Hospitalization, Marriage Proposal, Illnesses, Physical Therapy, Happily Ever After) – Something went very, very wrong. John had seemed, if not happy, then reasonably content with his life. Sherlock had never predicted something like THIS might have happened. Not in his worst nightmares. He was the lousiest friend ever, apparently. At least Mycroft found him something to occupy his mind with, so that he didn't have to go back to 221B and stare at the walls and the chair, where John Watson would never sit again.

Perdition's Flames by i_ship_an_armada (E, 63,435 w., 21 Ch. || Treklock AU, Est. Rel, Genetic Engineering, Angst & Fluff, BAMF!John) – Sherlock would do anything to save him. Risk anything. Give anything. His money, his life. His soul. What he does, though, is change both of their destinies forever. Genetic re-engineering is the only option left. It turns out researchers underestimated the life expectancy and potential abilities of genetically re-engineered subjects. The British government and what would eventually become the United Federation of Planets, however, had not. Part 1 of PF Universe

Hell Sent, Heaven Bound by ConsultingHound (M, 64,381 w, 16 Ch. || Angels / Demons AU || Fallen Angel Sherlock / Angel Cop John, Alternate First Meeting, Slow Burn, Case Fic, John & Lestrade are Friends Before Sherlock, BAMF John, Mind Palace John, Friends to Lovers, John in Denial, Sherlock Picks Out John’s Clothing, Clubbing / Dancing, Mildly Jealous John, Awkwardness, Kidnapping, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Sacrifice, Worried / Anxious Sherlock, Angst with Happy Ending, Immortal to Mortal) – Ex-War healer and current angelic guard John Watson is not having the best day. He overslept, he’s underpaid, and now there’s someone tagging the Council’s building walls. However things may be about to get interesting: there’s an unusual stranger hanging around (the definition of tall, dark, and handsome), a literal underground cult is brewing, and rumblings are coming from hell. Can he keep his neighbourhood safe, how and why is he being connected to all this, and who the hell is Sherlock Holmes?

Watches 'Verse by bendingsignpost (E, 66,905 w. across 2 works || Magical Realism, Reality Distortion, Angst, Partial MCD, BAMF John) – First, he is shot in Afghanistan. Second, he wakes to a phone call in Chelmsford, Essex. Third is pain, fourth is normalcy, fifth is agony and sixth is confusion. By the eighth, he's lost track. (John-centric AU) Part 1 of Watches 'Verse

Being John Watson-ish by elwinglyre (E, 69,902 w., 17 Ch. || Bodysnatcher AU || Author John, Cranky Sherlock, Angst, Sexual Tension, First Kiss / Time, Falling in Love, BAMF John, Past Soldier John, Feelings, Inside Someone’s Brain, Shy Sherlock, Sherlock Loves John, POV Sherlock, Switchlock, Slow Burn, Internal Dialogue, Mental Turmoil) – When consulting detective Sherlock Holmes steps on one toe too many at a crime scene, he's consigned to a desk job in an archaic office on the seventh-and-a-half floor of the New Scotland Yard. It’s in this bleak office that Sherlock discovers a portal into the mind of renowned author John Watson. Grander than his mind palace, this new wonderland affords Sherlock new vistas of experimentation. To learn more about the mystery behind the portal, Sherlock seeks out and befriends Watson. But then it all goes wrong when others find the secret portal door—including the man whose brain he visits.

The Green Blade by verityburns (T, 72,929 w., 15 Ch. || Casefic, Bromance) – As a serial killer hits the headlines, the police are out of their depth and the next victim is out of time. With faith in Sherlock Holmes at an all time low, this is a case which will push loyalties to the limit...

Darkling, I Listen by You_Light_The_Sky (T, 73,254 w., 8 Ch. || Fairy Tale AU || Loosely Based on Beauty and the Beast, Magical Realism, Suicidal Themes, Romance, Creepiness, Adventure) – No one who enters old London ever comes out. They say that the beast devours them. When his sister disappears, John ventures into the dead zone beyond the wall, and finds a brilliant madman under a terrible curse... Part 1 of Darkling I Listen + Extras, Deleted Scenes

Summit Fever by J_Baillier (M, 78,802 w., 18 Ch. || Mountain Climber AU || POV John, Angst, Tragedy, Suicidal Ideation, The Himalayas, Mountain Guide / Doctor John, Mount Climber Sherlock, Loneliness, Drama, Suspense, Slow Burn, Injured Sherlock / Sherlock Whump, Pining John) – After graduating from medical school, John Watson followed his heart to the Himalayas. Ten years later, he's a haunted cynic working for his ex-lover's trekking and mountaineering company. Will leading an expedition to Annapurna I—the most lethal of all the world's highest mountains—shake John out of his reverie, and who is the mystery client added to the group at the last minute?

The Monument of Memory by J_Baillier (M, 79,663 w., 14 Ch. || Post S4 Fix It Fic / S4 is Canon, Angst, Family Drama, Guilt, Case Fic, John Loves Sherlock, Complicated Feelings, Mentalism / Hypnosis, Murder, Grieving John, Sherlock is a Bit Not Good, Team Work, Trust Issues, BAMF John, Psychological Trauma, Protective John, Autistic-Spectrum Sherlock, Parentlock, John POV) – A genius traumatised by a past he's only beginning to recall. The psychopath sister that time forgot. A missing woman and a mentalist who may or may not be a murderer. And, in the middle of it all, stands John Watson.

Secrets and Revelations by Hisstah (E, 83,535 w., 9 Ch. || Sentinel / Guides Omegaverse AU || Adventure, Violence, Anal / Oral, Omega!John / Alpha!Sherlock, Case Fic, Politics, Mild DubCon) – Dr John Watson has some major secrets that he's kept from his flatmate, Alpha Sentinel Sherlock Holmes. Now the Sentinel Tower is after him. Can John stay out of their hands until he can reveal his secrets to Sherlock? Part 1 of Secrets and Revelations

Thermocline by J_Baillier (M, 83,557 w., 14 Ch. || Scuba Diving AU || Adventure, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Marine Archaeology, Asexual Sherlock, Horny John, Relationship Drama, Technical/Scuba/Wreck Diving, Slow Burn, Underwater / Medical Peril, Doctor John, Hurt Sherlock, Anxious Sherlock, John POV, Protective John, Body Appreciation) – John "Five Oceans" Watson — technical dive instructor, dive accident analyst and weapon of mass seduction — meets recluse professor of maritime archaeology Holmes. As they head out to a remote archipelago off the coast of Guatemala to study and film its shipwrecks for a documentary, will sparks fly or fizzle out?

Northwest Passage by Kryptaria (E, 95,157 w., 27 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Canadian AU || BAMF!John, Canadian John, PTSD, Anal / Oral Sex, Rimming, Emotional Hurt / Comfort, Drug Rehab, Falling in Love, Pining Sherlock, Love Confessions, Sherlock’s Violin, Panic Attacks, Switching, Anxious / Protective Sherlock, Hugs for Comfort, Suicide Mentions, Healing Each Other) – Seven years ago, Captain John Watson of the Canadian Forces Medical Service withdrew from society, seeking a simple, isolated life in the distant northern wilderness of Canada. Though he survives from one day to the next, he doesn't truly live until someone from his dark past calls in a favor and turns his world upside-down with the introduction of Sherlock Holmes." Part 1 of Tales from the Northwest

Given In Evidence by verityburns (M, 97,884 w., 19 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Post-TRF, Angst, Drama, Case Fic, Romance, BAMF!John, Submissive Sherlock, First Kiss, Humour) – Coming back from the dead can be a complicated business. With a new case on the horizon, rebuilding a life is one thing... rebuilding a friendship quite another. For Sherlock and John, things may never be just the same...

Maintenance and Repair by patternofdefiance (E, 106,650 w., 71 Ch. || Future AU, Augmentation || Augmented John, Depression, Body Modification, Slow Burn, Worldbuilding, Sci-Fi, Self-Care, Body Dysmorphia) – John wants to explain the rush of sensation and data, which is just another form of sensation (or is it the other way around?). John wants to say: Augmentation circuits report temperature, pressure, various forms of quantitative input. Sudden changes are reported as pain, since sudden changes are dangerous, and pain is the quickest way to encourage reflexive extraction. But all John can manage is, “Nng.” Because this sudden touch is not reporting as pain. Part 2 of STATIC

Shatter the Darkness (Let the Light In) by MojoFlower (E, 109,683 w., 23 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Genie/Djinn AU || Magical Realism, Kidnapping, Genie Sherlock, First Kiss / Time, Case Fic, H/C, Angst, Clubs, John Whump, Mild DubCon, Hand / Blow Jobs, Torture) – Fairy tales are for those who remember how to dream; not John Watson, broken and hiding from his bleak future in a beige bedsit. But then he discovers a lamp and finds himself in the dangerous riptide of an enigmatic man whose very existence is unbelievable, murder charges against his sister, and the growing pains of feeling alive once more.

Two Two One Bravo Baker by abundantlyqueer (E, 114,574 w., 27 Ch. || Military AU || Afghanistan, War Story, Thriller, Switchlock, Rimming, Emotional Lovemaking, Lots of Sex, HJ/BJ’s) – Captain John Watson of 40 Commando, the Royal Marines, is assigned to protect and assist Sherlock Holmes as he investigates what appears to be a simple war atrocity in Afghanistan. An intense attraction ignites between the two men as they uncover a conspiracy that threatens everything they’ve ever known, but Sherlock is as much hunted as hunter, and everyone close to him is in deadly danger. Can he solve the case in time to save himself and John? Part 1 of Two Two One Bravo Baker Universe

Breakable by MissDavis (E, 117,627 w., 34 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE, WiP || Established Relationship, Major Character Injury, Fluff/Angst, Depression, Paralysis/Disabilities, Hurt/Comfort, POV Sherlock, Mental Health Issues, Drug Use, Happy-ish Ending) – After John is seriously injured, Sherlock struggles to figure out how to help him, keep himself sane, and maybe, just maybe, get their life back to the way it's supposed to be. Part 1 of Breakable Not Broken

The Burning Heart by May_Shepard (M, 119,150 w., 21 Ch. || Canon Divergence, Post-TRF, John’s Sexuality, S3 Rewrite, Pining, Angst with a Happy Ending, POV John Watson, John’s Gay) – When Sherlock dies, John Watson feels like his life is over too. He’s completely shut down, until Mark Morstan, a new nurse at John’s medical clinic, catches his attention, and helps him uncover the long buried truth of his attraction to men. Although he’s certain he’ll never get over Sherlock, John plans to move on, and build a new life with Mark, unaware that Sherlock is not quite as dead as he appears, and that Mark is hiding secrets of his own.

Against the Rest of the World by SilentAuror (E, 151,714 w., 20 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Post-TRF, Hiatus Fic, POV First Person Sherlock, Present Tense, First Kiss/Time, Big Brother Mycroft, Escaping from Capture, Soft Sherlock, Toplock, Insecurity, Infidelity, Travelling, Introspection, Pining Sherlock, Depression, Fantasies, Yearning for the Past, PTSD Sherlock, Suicidal Ideation) – Sherlock has been away from London for nine hundred and twelve days and counting, and has no idea what sort of reception to expect when he finally returns.

#steph replies #johnlock fic recs #my fic recs #bamf john #weakestdreams #soldier john

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cassyapper · 3 years

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i wish to hear more about part 5 avdol 👀

OMG I WOULD LOVE TO THANK U FOR GIVING ME AN EXCUSE TO KIND PERSON

i genuinely think avdol would become a good mentor figure for everyone in the buccigang, including and not limited to bruno and abbacchio. giorno and him are probably closest tho,,,but i also do like the idea of fugo and avdol being close cause i like to think fugo reminds avdol of himself when he was younger (this is more headcanony than canon stuff tho)

as for actual plot stuff and how avdol would affect it;;;;;; due to avdol’s competence, no one dies <3 sorry araki but nara bruno and abbacchio are alive now. I'm still trying to work out the details regarding how he could prevent bruno’s death tho. maybe bruno will still have to die but I'm thinking about it

ALSO bc of avdol’s influence i think fugo would hum and haw over if he should go with the bucci gang some more. i dont think he actually will tag along completely, BUT he doesnt just leave he just does some sniffing around from the inside. they’ll meet up again later rather than fugo tagging along from the beginning. like fugo is like “yall r crazy. let me do sum research and ill get back to you” and maybe fugo finds polnareff that way (lmfao could u imagine. pol gets kakyoin flashbacks)

lots of kakyoin flashbacks actually. this would really be a bone breaker if this is an au where kakyoin is still dead

ANYWAY. since I'm still not sure abt the details of avdol’s impact on the PLOT, lemme get into character dynamics

giorno: big mentor figure, probably steals some (a lot) of bruno’s thunder in this regard. giorno just rlly respects him and avdol acknowledges giorno is a very hardworking kiddo (which giorno appreciates). i imagine he grows very fond of him throughout the events of va. idk if it would ever cross the line of mentor-protegee to father-son but regardless they're rlly close and giorno values his opinions a lot when he becomes the don even tho avdol says he doesnt wanna be involved in mafia business (and he doesnt but he cares more about the well being of his kids ie the buccigang than staying away from organized crime)

fugo: fugo is like a crazy thrashing dog that is going insane and yet never turns to nip at its owner who is holding it back (in this case that is avdol). yea i imagine avdol and fugo have a good relationship Eventually but it takes fugo some time understandably to accept/warm up to it cause of his issues with authority figures and how they've done him dirty before. avdol is nothing if not a patient man tho and i imagine fugo eventually comes to rlly trust him which is why he decides to squirrel around to get buccigang some info on the inside of the gang rather than disembark completely

narancia: nara would be as hostile as he can be at first i feel like cause he might think avdol is trying to replace bruno but once he learns avdol is a) not in the gang and will never be in the gang he’s not trying to take anyone’s position and b) sees BRUNO warm up 2 avdol, he accepts him very fast. it’s like a switch flipped it’s v sudden and intense change in demeanor. avdol is kinda surprised but like he’ll take it. avdol thinks nara is very funny and he helps him out w schooling when fugo is gone. avdol also listens to nara’s music w him and gives him recommendations which narancia is SUPER HAPPY ABT cause no one was willing to talk music with him before (indulge him and let HIM talk abt it yes, but never respond in turn and have a conversation before). nara loves avdol and avdol loves him in return. fun family (:

mista: hmm i cant see mista and avdol being suuuper close?? at least not at first but they def get along. but when avdol gets comfortable enough w the buccigang to do his funky fun smartass stuff sometimes (like how he was during the judgement fight) mista and him get a LOT closer. mista thinks avdol is the funniest man on the planet and they can have good talks. avdol is a good person to think out loud with which i think mista kinda needs. also I'm sure avdol is enamored with the sex pistols. not many stands can even talk yet these lil guys have outright personalities of their own. avdol joins mista during feeding time just cause he’s rlly intrigued by these lil guys. mista was a little weirded out at first but since warming up to avdol he doesnt mind (:

trish: HIS DAUGHTER NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!! he’s got the age, he’s got the kindness, he’s got the patience, he’s got the respect, HE!!!!!! IS. HER DAD NOW. avdol might've laid the sympathy on a little too thick when they first met so trish might not have liked him much at first, but he notices she’s rlly stressed out and talks her thro it/lets her speak her mind which is rlly nice. trish hasn't ever had anyone prompt her to lose her shit before helping her to piece back together again but tis nice. when trish is supposed to be dropped off with diavolo, she actually hugs avdol (: also when trish awakens spice girls u BET avdol is rooting her on and helping her get more comfortable w her stand. avdol is thinks spice girls is rlly fuckin cool and combined w spice girls and avdol’s guidance, trish actually gets rlly handy at using her stand. pls imagine magician’s red and spice girls just chilling. thanks. anyway if avdol were to legally adopt ANYONE in the buccigang it would be trish. trish lives w him after va

abbacchio: i don't think avdol and abbacchio would be besties but bruno trusts him and narancia likes him so i think abbacchio wouldn't hate him despite them first meeting bc of giorno lolol. so like they're civil but i cant imagine their interactions getting warmer until after avdol tags along when they split up from the gang. abbacchio is like “why tf r u even still here” and avdol is like “YOURE the oldest here and ur only 21 u need an actual adult. no but i just wanna watch over the kids and make sure they're safe” abbacchio respects that. also avdol encouraging trish to train w spice girls is why trish is able to keep abbacchio from getting a fist through the torso (she makes him rubbery as spice girls can do so he can withstand the punch king crimson gives him) and he's kinda grateful bc of that to both abbacchio And trish. uhh yeah. lol. also avdol has good taste in wine which abbacchio can respect

bruno: FINALLY the man himself. for a long time he is just politely friendly towards avdol cause idk if bruno would know how to deal w someone who would be more likely to be a mentor to Him rather than vice versa but as avdol and him spend more time together and watch over the kiddos and abbacchio together they get more comfortable. idk if they’d ever get close close but bruno can rely on avdol and he does during the final fight. when they come out victorious bruno kinda promises him he’ll always have a home in italy if he needs anywhere to rest it’d be sweet (: avdol in turn would say if ur ever in egypt just ask around and u’ll find me

anyway uhhhhh yeah. i hope u enjoyed reading all this fjkdnjc;n i just think. avdol is very loveable and very cool and he would've added a lot to part 5 in my opinion,,,,

#cass cries #jjba #jojo spoilers #vento aureo spoilers #golden wind spoilers #this got LONG SORRY #Anonymous

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angeltrapz · 3 years

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howdy 💙 chainshipping ask time: on days when they’re feelin bad, what do they do for the other person? also favorite date night activities? + th first moment post-bathroom where they each realized they’d fallen in love w th other?

hi!! 💜

ooh I think abt this a lot actually. I think th two of them have a tendency 2 bottle things up, so it kind of takes a lil bit fr them to realize tht Hey, Someone Wants To Make Sure I'm Okay and fr them 2 then get to a place where they share how they're rly doing rather than bein like "no everything's fine wdym :)" but once they Do get past tht n r able 2 be honest w each other, it's a lot better fr both of them + honestly its own form of healing.

a lot of th time when Adam's having a bad day, he's either nonverbal or responds w as short of an answer as possible, so th big thing Lawrence does fr him is just let him know he's there when/if he's ready 2 talk + there's no stress 2 tell him what's wrong right away. tht's smth tht's rly important to Adam, n smth he appreciates greatly. often times, along w tht, Adam tends 2 seek out physical contact - so like coming up behind Lawrence while he's cooking breakfast n wrapping his arms around him, holding his hand when they're walking together, sitting close enough so their knees/shoulders/hips brush + just leaning into Lawrence's side altogether, etc. so another thing they do is either cuddle up on th couch or in th bedroom n they watch a few movies together. sometimes Lawrence will read 2 him too. it's rly all abt proximity + lil actions tht in reality r a wordless way 2 say "I'm here, it's okay, we'll get thru this together." Lawrence is patient, doesn't rush him, n stays close by. fr Adam, tht is more than enough + means th world. n it eventually leads 2 him being more comfortable voicing how he feels more often!!

Lawrence's bad days r a lil harder to catch bc even tho he knows Adam's there, he still feels a pretty intense amount of guilt + doesn't often feel tht he has like. a right 2 complain? bc I think, fr a long time, he views himself as th one most responsible fr what happened in th bathroom n how they got there. it takes a while fr him to break out of tht mindset, but th main thing Adam reminds him of is he's still here. bc Lawrence spends a lot of time thinking like, "if I wasn't a bad person, Jigsaw wldn't have chosen me or put my family in danger, therefore it's my fault + I need 2 atone somehow." Adam is aware of this, n they've found tht th best solution is fr him 2 just b very blunt n ask "well was I a bad person? was I so horrible tht Jigsaw chose me based on tht n I deserved what happened next?" n of course Lawrence will immediately be like "no of course not??? nothing u cld've done cld warrant tht?" (kinda like th way u mentioned Adam comforts William) so Adam gets to respond w "tht applies 2 u too, u know. yr not a bad person. nothing you cld've done wld warrant smth like tht, either."

n Lawrence mentally bluescreens th first time he hears Adam say tht bc it's just like. He's Right. if he doesn't think Adam is a bad person + deserved wht happened, why did he? so tht's like th big thing Adam does fr Lawrence. he reassures him tht despite his brain's best efforts 2 convince him otherwise, he is a good person who Adam loves n tht might've made mistakes, but they didn't warrant being chained to a pipe in a fucking bathroom somewhere w his family in danger + being tasked 2 kill his now-bf, christ.

favourite date night activities!! I think they're mostly p lowkey fr th most part just bc of like, th unease of potentially being around A Lot Of Ppl, but every once in a while they'll dress up a lil bit n go somewhere nice fr dinner bc Lawrence is a hopeless romantic + he likes being able 2 do tht fr Adam sometimes. Adam thought it'd be like, wayyyy too stuffy + uncomfortable esp bc it's not smth he's used to, but honestly it's rly fun n they get to spend time together, so in th end it's all fine! plus there's never any pressure 2 like, go all out w dressing up or anything, so tht's nice too. honestly, if Adam wasn't so in love w Lawrence, th way he holds his hand over th table while they skim thru th menu + talk abt what sounds good might make him think he was somehow th main character of a romcom.

a lot of times, too, they frequent this local diner tht Adam used 2 go to fr breakfast all th time when he n Scott were teenagers bc it was relatively cheap, th food was good, + th staff was full of kind ppl. the lighting is lowkey n they usually have some sort of seasonal decorations around th place, n it's just somewhere Adam feels Safe, which of course leads 2 Lawrence feeling tht way abt it too. it's rly nice fr when they still want to go out, but don't rly want to put too much effort into it (tht's not to say th diner is low-quality tho!). they're there so often some of th servers know them by name + are friendly w them, so there's tht too!

their favourite, tho, is nights in where they order takeout or delivery so tht neither of them have 2 cook (Adam is getting better w it, tho Lawrence still cooks fr th majority of th time) n they can just relax. sometimes they lay a bunch of blankets on th floor n camp out there, sometimes they make a pillow fort bc why not, n sometimes they just grab their favourite blanket n curl up on th couch while watching random TV fr background noise or movies. Adam’s head always ends up on Lawrence’s shoulder at some point. Lawrence will have an arm around his shoulder. sometimes Adam will rest his legs across Lawrence’s lap. it’s just being close + enjoying some downtime tht they both rly appreciate.

as fr th first time they realized they were in love each other... in all honesty, fr Lawrence, it was pretty much th moment Adam finally woke up in th hospital n looked at him n said “you came back fr me.” (like yr text game Still Life is Exactly how I see it happening!!) however, th first time Lawrence rly became CONSCIOUS of tht feeling n was able 2 put a name to it was honestly so simple and yet so meaningful. it was Adam standing in his kitchen th morning after he’d spent th night bc he cldn’t get to sleep on his own, too worked up n on edge n afraid 2 be alone.

it’s Adam in only a faded n too-big t-shirt n boxers trying 2 figure out how to use Lawrence’s keurig. it’s th sunlight streaming in frm th window above th sink n framing Adam’s face n turning his eyes this bright honey-green when Lawrence catches them. he’s in th middle of washing the dishes bc he’d been meaning to since th night b4, watching as Adam moves around n learns th placement of everything, his presence so natural-feeling tht it’s hard fr Lawrence to even imagine tht he hasn’t always been there. and then Adam turns 2 look at him bc he can feel him staring, his hands curled around a mug of hot coffee, eyes still half-lidded w remnants of sleep n hair a wild unruly mess, and he smiles - tht is when Lawrence truly realizes tht he loves him. he cldn’t imagine his life w/ out Adam in it. he can hardly remember how it felt to live w/ out him. tht’s when he knows.

I think fr Adam, th moment he became truly aware of how much he loved Lawrence was actually during one of his bad days where he was stuck in th mental bathroom, unable get out of his own head fr much longer than a few minutes at a time. he had gone mostly nonverbal n found the energy needed 2 keep up a conversation was just not smth he had, but instead of Lawrence being irritated by tht fact, he was going out of his way 2 be like, “I know yr not doing well, n tht’s okay, if u want 2 talk to me I’m here but if u don’t I’ll still b here anyways.” n tht’s like smth tht’s so foreign to Adam, ppl being willing 2 understand his struggles w things like speech n eye contact if he’s distressed + who don’t try 2 force him to power thru it, so tht first time he’s just sitting there on th couch, leaning against Lawrence’s side w/ his legs tucked up underneath him n w his weighted blanket covering them both, watching Lawrence fill out th crossword in th daily newspaper n just kinda coasting tht line between being present n checking out, he’s just like. Huh. This Is Nice.

bc no one’s ever rly offered tht kind of accommodation 2 him? esp not his parents, which is part of wht I mentioned earlier abt his tendency to bottle things up. neither of them have 2 say anything; it’s just comfy, reassuring, sitting so close + sharing a space while maintaining a comfortable silence bc Adam doesn’t think he can explain yet. n he looks up at Lawrence’s face, tracing th heavy line of his furrowed brows as he concentrates hard abt whatever word it is he’s trying 2 figure out, th tip of his tongue peeking out btwn his lips as he squints, occasionally mouthing a word or two, n tht’s kind of when it hits him. it’s just kind of like an internal ah, I see. Lawrence doesn’t mind tht he’s like this. he doesn’t badger him fr answers or expect him 2 be th perfect image of good mental health n is perfectly content 2 just sit w/ him as he rides it out. tht’s when Adam really gets tht this is love.

tysm fr this ask I had so much fun w it <3

#saw #adam #lawrence #thank u!!!!#I laid down earlier 2 see if it wld help but it. hasn't so #it's been. a long weekend in several different ways jdkds #I spend a lot of time thinking abt th polycule but I've spend Just As Much if not more time thinking abt these 2 lmao #spent*#long post #again. tysm!!

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ase-trollplays · 3 years

Note

HONESTY 1, HONESTY 3, HONESTY 4, HONESTY 8, and HONESTY 9 for sayble and florah?

HONESTY 1: What is your favorite scent?

}}-I suppose my favorite scent is freshly brewed tea.-{{

This is g✿ing t✿ s✿und s✿ dumb, but I really like the smell ✿f Karima's weed.

HONESTY 3: Whom do you admire, and why?

}}-I honestly admire highbloods who oppose the hemospectrum. They don't stand to gain anything by siding with those less fortunate than them and, should hemo equality ever succeed, they will lose a lot of privilege. However, despite that they still choose to join the cause. I find that to be highly admirable.-{{

My teacher, Tuuya. They're c✿nsidered a m✿nster just like the rest ✿f us in their class, but they d✿n't let guilt ab✿ut having t✿ feed ✿n pe✿ple like a parasite c✿nsume them. They figured ✿ut h✿w t✿ survive while causing as little harm t✿ ✿thers as p✿ssible, and they're teaching ✿ther tr✿lls h✿w t✿ d✿ it, t✿✿. Plus, they're really sweet and patient, and we have s✿me stuff in c✿mm✿n. They actually have their life t✿gether, and I kinda h✿pe I can get ✿n their level eventually.

HONESTY 4: What is your biggest fear?

}}-My biggest fear is being publicly outed as a mutant, or outed as a mutant in general, really. The entire life I've worked so hard to build for myself would be destroyed, not to mention those I know that didn't report me would potentially be in danger for not reporting me.-{{

I'm terrified ✿f l✿sing Karima. F✿r s✿ l✿ng, she was the ✿nly thing keeping me alive, and even n✿w I d✿n't kn✿w what I w✿uld d✿ if she died. I kn✿w I'll eventually ✿utlive her, but that's a l✿ng ways away, and I'll pr✿bably be able t✿ handle it by then. But if I l✿st her n✿w? I d✿n't kn✿w what I w✿uld d✿.

HONESTY 8: What would your ideal lover be like?

}}-Ideally, he would be someone intelligent, caring, trustworthy, and hard-working. He would also be accepting of mutants, for obvious reasons, and he would be reliable.-{{

I d✿n't have ✿ne. I'm n✿t planning ✿n having any quadrants ✿utside ✿f Karima -- I sh✿uldn't burden any✿ne else with my m✿untains ✿f issues -- s✿ why b✿ther thinking ab✿ut an ideal partner? It's never g✿ing t✿ happen.

HONESTY 9: What is something you're useless at?

}}-Quite frankly, I'm utterly worthless when it comes to sports. I've never been particularly athletic, and attempting any sport would serve only to embarrass me.-{{

I'm shit at stuff like sewing ✿r knitting. I can't get the hang ✿f it t✿ save my unlife.

Ask my muse...

#Sayble answers #Florah answers #allthesetrolls #long post

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luna--reading · 4 years

Text

[PICK A CARD] WHO IS COMING TOWARDS ME IN LOVE?

Hello lovelies~ ♡

This is a pick a card reading for “Who is coming towards me in love?”. It is recommended for singles or maybe those who are in a situationship and you are wanting to see if it’s the person on your mind. Please do find peace if it doesn’t resonate with you~

So take a few minutes to mediate on these 3 piles:

Obsidian Heart

Sodalite Heart

Rose Quartz Heart

Once you’re ready, just scroll below to find the reading that you have chosen!

You can always leave a comment or simply like the post if it resonates with you, thank you so much~ ♡♡♡

Pile 1:

I feel like this person is probably someone you might have rejected in the past, like maybe not upfront but like there is this sense of rejection from this person (4 of cups and Orphaned), so I’m getting a bit of sadness here, as well as just keeping to themselves right now and contemplating on things. But if there isn’t such a person, then this person could have gone through some sort of hurt in their past relationships and I see them already going through the healing period. With The Star, it’s a very healing card, so I see them already going through or have already gone through this healing from their past hurts. Because right now, I see them taking back control of their life (Free Yourself), they no longer want to feel hurt anymore, they no longer want to keep themselves in their small corner anymore. They want to come out and take that leap of faith (The Fool) and they want a fresh start with you as well as a long-term commitment (King of Pentacles). I feel like that they see you as someone who is in the centre of attraction but you don’t seem to notice it yourself (Don’t dim to fit in) as well as not noticing how beautiful you are (Sisterhood of the rose). They really feel for this strong connection with you (Soulmates and Deep knowing). Like I feel that they really do feel this soulmate connection with you deep down and that they really do see you as someone who can go long-term with them. I feel that if you do have someone in mind right now, and you are feeling frustrated that things are quite stagnant, you are asked to Slow down - Pause and allow things to unfold. Else, I feel like they are just taking things slow right now because they know that they aren’t going anywhere and that they want to have that stable foundation with you first before moving onto higher levels of commitment. Because at the end of the day, eventually both of you will Choose love - You always have a choice; make yours with love.

So the following is just for some reference in regards to who this person might be, if it resonates with you, that’s great, if not, please just take it for fun!

Some of the initials that I have pulled out (or if the words that are written on it is relevant to you in any way): I, Y, W, G, G, K, B

Some signs that I have pulled out: Leo, Sagittarius, Pisces, Scorpio//With the Fool, I’m also getting Aries as well as strong Earth signs vibe (Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn) with the King of Pentacles.

Some personality traits that I have pulled out: Outgoing, Stable, Charismatic

Some descriptions that I have pulled out:Glasses, Average (can be height or whatever else comes to mind), Red hair, Curvy, Friends with benefits, Muscular, Twin flame

Some of the messages that this person would want to tell you right now:

I let my fears get the best of me but trust me, I am trying to fix it right now!!

Wait for me, I am coming to see you very soon.

You are my sunshine

I want to build a family with you

Take my hand and trust that we can make this through TOGETHER

You are the only one for me.

Pile 2:

So for this pile, more cards dropped out while I was shuffling, so I decided to take all of them. Right away, I do see a very strong spiritual connection, it’s almost as if you guys have a past-life connection/karmic relationship with each other (Spiritual connection - A relationship has a connection that goes beyond this lifetime, Higher Power and 6 of cups). Else, this person could be someone from your past that is coming back into your life (Back to what you love - Re-evaluate your desires) and it’s divine timing for them to come back in your life right now. This person sees you as someone who is very beautiful, very loving, very nurturing (The Empress and the Queen of Cups), someone who they do see a very beautiful beginning with. I feel like if this is someone coming back from the past, they might have done you wrong and you might have cut them out from your life (Boundaries) and that they want to make things right this time (Justice). Or in fact, this might be some past-life karmic relationship that requires you to release soul patterns, contracts and past lives (Unbound) in this lifetime and that you are asked to look within yourself in regards to this connection (Inner temple). This person will come in and express their love for you (Express your love) and you would feel a very strong connection with them (Chemistry). I feel that you will feel like this person is a form of Miracles and Blessings - Everything has its gift from the Universe as it just feels like this person is the one that you have been waiting for for a very long time.

Now, for a small number for you, it’s up to you if you want to accept this person into your life, especially if they did you wrong in the past, but you are asked to be flexible (Flexible) about this person’s appearance. Because i feel like this person will somehow be back into your life, be it physically or spiritually, and that it might create certain disturbances in your life. But understand that whether or not you accept this person back, it is eventually some form of Miracles and Blessings - Everything has its gift and you will learn valuable lessons through this.

I am seeing 3, 33 so this might be significant for you or you can check out the messages that the Angels have for you.

So the following is just for some reference in regards to who this person might be, if it resonates with you, that’s great, if not, please just take it for fun!

Some of the initials that I have pulled out (or if the words that are written on it is relevant to you in any way): J, O, Y, K, P, M, I B

Some signs that I have pulled out: Sagittarius, Pisces, Scorpio//With the Justice, I’m also getting Libra as well as Taurus and more Libra with the Empress. With the Queen of Cups, there’s also strong water signs vibe (Cancer, Scorpio, and especially Pisces)

Some personality traits that I have pulled out: Fiery, Compassionate, Trustworthy, Sociable, Outgoing, Charismatic

Some descriptions that I have pulled out: Glasses, Ex, Red hair, Friendzoned, Short, Blonde, Green Eyes, Tanned skin

Some of the messages that this person would want to tell you right now:

Everything is just so unclear to me right now…

I don’t have that courage right now

SOULMATE

You are so beautiful

I can see a future with you, the first time we met

I got lost in your eyes, now I’m trying to find my way back

I know that there is nothing for me to be afraid of as long as i am with you

I can’t wait to hold you tight in my arms

Wait for me, I am coming to see you very soon

Pile 3:

To start off, this person that is coming in, I feel like you’ve already known this person (with the couple in Very Soon, couple in Passion, the two people in Mending and Spend Quality Time Together and even the two birds in Loyal Heart). It’s almost as if shouting out to me that you’ve already known this person. And I feel like you, yourself might also know who this person is with Trust the Niggle, like trust your intuition.

But if you really don’t have anyone you know as of now, I feel like spiritually you might have already connected with this person and that they are going to come in very quickly (Very Soon).

Okay, so I feel like there is a very strong attraction to you with the Passion and The Sun like, there is so much fiery energy in here. With the King of Wands, this person could be very passionate to you as well. And I feel that there will be a lot of playful energy (Play) between the two of you (it’s like you guys are friends and lovers at the same time). This person is going to be very loyal towards you (Loyal Heart) and I see that they might have not been able to tell you their true feelings right now, because they might be going through some sort of healing within themselves (The Hermit as well as Mending). So, you have to be very patient with this person is what I’m getting. With Justice, I do feel that this person really has feelings for you, like I mentioned previously, you might have already known this person. With Justice corresponding to the sign of Libra who is ruled by Venus, there is love and passion for you. I do see that they see you as who you are and that they Love who you are - You are divine, delightful, and deserving of the wonderful things life has to offer. And they do see you as someone whom they can build a family with (Mintakan). I do see that in time to come Very Soon, they will want to Spend quality time together - Listen and talk to each other. This could come in during the Summer season (End June - End September) or anytime during Leo season, Libra season or even Virgo season.

So the following is just for some reference in regards to who this person might be, if it resonates with you, that’s great, if not, please just take it for fun!

Some of the initials that I have pulled out (or if the words that are written on it is relevant to you in any way): T, Y, N, I, H, C, B, O, Q, I

Some signs that I have pulled out: Cancer, Libra, Aquarius, Aries//With the Justice, I’m also getting Libra. With the Hermit, there’s Virgo as well as Leo from the Sun. The King of Wands has strong Fire signs vibe (Leo, Sagittarius and particularly Aries)

Some personality traits that I have pulled out: Quiet, Fiery, Outgoing, Impulsive, Emotional, Charismatic, Creative

Some descriptions that I have pulled out: Significantly older, no contact, smile, curvy, average (in terms of height most probably), friends with benefits, blonde, friendzoned

Some of the messages that this person would want to tell you right now:

It’s hard for me right now

Everything is just so unclear to me right now

I don’t have that courage right now

I fucked up, can you give me just ONE MORE CHANCE?

“Happy ever after sounded impossible until the day I met you

I am working to build a better future for me, for you, for us

Believe in me, I will come around very soon!!

#pickacard #pickacardlove #lovereading #tarotreading #freereading #freetarotlove #pick a card #pick a card love #tarot reading love #love

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ironmansuuucks · 4 years

Text

Like Father, Like Daughter - Part 3

dewey finn x stark!reader

bonour mon petite croissants! okay so like this part is vvv different to the other parts and the ending is really rushed so my apologies. there’s pretty much no dewey in this one its all reader and tony because context and story lmao but it is vvv angsty!!!. sooo i hope you enjoy! also, i tagged you guys because yous have read and commented on the last parts and i hope yous are still liking it lmao lotsa love xxxx

Part 1

Part 2

words - 1800

warnings - alcohol, mentions on drugs, angst

“JARVIS, you up?” Tony questioned his AI as he walked back into the workshop. “for you sir, always”. It was dark and cold in Stark Tower. Tony had been footering around with mark 34 all day, non-stop. He had no idea where his daughter was. In fact you hadn’t spoken in days. It broke his heart but he knew that he needed to wait until you were ready to talk, and the fact that you were both as stubborn as each other didn’t help. As he checked his watch he couldn’t believe the time, 3:20 AM. “yeah, now flip it.. uh huh and push the revolvers up.. more to the left” Tony spoke to JARVIS with a holographic model of mark 34’s chest cavity moving around in front of him.

Suddenly his phone began to ring. “send it to voicemail” he quipped at JARVIS, still spinning the holograph, but the AI hastily responded “uh sir, it’s y/n’s mobile that’s calling you”. “what? Where is she?” he replied worriedly. Tony had a secret tracker on your phone for years and you had never noticed. JARVIS checked and replied “she’s in Katie’s bar sir”. Tony furrowed his eyebrows, folding his arms, expecting some drunken call from his daughter about how much she hated him, “ok answer it”. The AI answered the call and all Tony could hear was the loud, muffled music of the bar.

“hey sweetie how you getting on?” he answered the phone condescendingly, preparing for her shouting and swearing. But the voice he was met with was not his daughters. “uh, hey Mr Stark, it’s Peter, y/n’s friend?”. Tony furrowed his eyebrows again, concern building. “oh hey Pete, everything ok?”. Peter paused for a second. “well uh.. no, not really.” Tony’s heart was racing, his mind spinning and coining the worse scenarios. “I think you may need to come pick up y/n. She’s super messed up, worse than I’ve ever seen her.. and she uh.. she was about to buy.. uh cocaine from these random guys on the streets before we stopped her” Peter replied hesitantly. Tony was furious. Who the hell did you think you were and what the fuck did you think you were doing. He had been down this route before and it was one that he struggled to get out of. The rich and famous lifestyle was not an easy ride, but he would die before he let you fuck up as much as he did when he was your age.

Tony darted toward the door, not even lifting his jacket “uh huh kid, keep her at Katie’s bar, I’ll be there in five”. He didn’t even wait to here what peter had to say. He almost ran out to the Mercedes and drove at a speed that was lethal to get his daughter back and safe in his arms.

* * * * * * *

“yeah well fuck off” you shouted at the bouncer as your friends dragged you out of the bar, stumbling into the back of them. You pulled out of Peter’s grip and slid down the wall to sit on the ground. Your head was spinning. You had consumed a destructive amount of alcohol. You put your head in your hands. “ugh I haaaate my liiife” you almost shouted as your friends stood in front of you, patiently waiting for Tony. Peter bent down and rubbed your knee “you’re fine, y/n, everything will be okay”. You sobbed slightly “n-no it won’t Pete, im.. I’m fucked up”.

Just then was when the jet black Mercedes stopped outside of the bar, the door flinging open. You looked up at the sudden noise of the car acceleration, Peter standing up and thanking the lord that Tony was here. You squinted your eyes as someone got out the car, and then the realisation hit “you dicks called my dad?!?!?” you shouted drunkenly at your friends, who stood in silence. “right, come on.. up you get” Tony said as he attempted to pull you to your feet. To be honest, you didn’t want to protest too much. In your head you didn’t have to speak to your dad, you could just go to your own cosy bed, so you let him pull you to your feet, stumbling into him as you did so.

Your friends stood silent, feeling bad, and severely worried about you. “what has she had?” Tony questioned Peter as he put her in to the front seat of the car. “ugh, tequila, jack, vodka.. honestly a mix of everything”. Tony sighed, shutting the door and ignoring your protests from the car. “ok so just about everything she could lay her hands on? You’ll be the death of me kid seriously” Tony spoke as he walked round to get in the car. “Thanks guys, I’ll let you know how she gets on” he thanked your friends as he drove off.

The car ride home was filled with silence. Tony was too angry, and you were too drunk. You stumbled trying to get out of the car and fell on your knees, Tony went round and helped you up, putting your arm around his shoulder, almost carrying you up to the penthouse.

When the elevator dinged, and you both walked into the living room, you pulled yourself away from him “I don’t need your help”. “uh huh, sure you don’t miss independent. If it wasn’t for me you wouldn’t be here”. You rolled your eyes “I’m away to b-bed” you drunkenly began to attempt to walk towards your bedroom but you swayed and fell into one of pillars. Tony crossed his arms and watched you as you slid along the pillar and attempted to walk without it but couldn’t.

“please to god tell me what Peter told me wasn’t true y/n” Tony began, sternly. “w-well I don’t know? How th-the fuck am I supposed to know what peter told you” you snapped, head spinning. Your eyes were closed, head resting against the pillar. “you know damn right what I’m on about y/n. Cocaine? Random guys in the street? I’ll be damned if I let you ruin your life like that.” Tony lectured you as he went to put on the coffee machine. “well you kn-know what they say dad.. like father, li-like daughter right?” you slurred.

That hurt. This was the last thing Tony wanted to happen, for his daughter to end up like him. He had tried his best on his own, and he was so proud of you, but he just didn’t understand. Was it his fault? He walked out of the kitchen area and looked at you. His heart was shattered seeing you like this. His eyebrows were furrowed, and the hurt was seeping out of his eyes. Once you had locked eyes with him you looked away. You knew you were hurting him but you didn’t know how to help yourself.

You started to tear up. All of your emotions coming to fruition. You bounced very lightly against the pillar as tears began to stream down your face. You still couldn’t look at him. “dad.. w-why am I such a f-fuck up”.

This broke Tony’s heart. He instantly came over to you and pulled you into his embrace, tightly. “no- listen y/n. You could never be a fuck up. Look at everything you’ve achieved. I’m so so so incredibly proud of you sweetheart”. You sobbed into his shoulder as he rubbed you’re back. “y/n I just want you to realise your worth. You’re so beautiful and smart and you deserve the world. I hate seeing you try to drown your sorrows every night and bring home these random dudes. I just wish you’d talk to me”. He stroked your hair and kissed the top of your head.

“why don’t we make a coffee, if you can stomach it, we’ll go lay on your bed and you can talk to me if you’d like, or I’ll just lie with you until you fall asleep?” he pulled you off of him but kept you in his arms. You nodded, sniffling.

Tony took you to your room and sat you on the bed, you still being too drunk to function properly on your own, then went and made you both coffee. He came back in and sat it on your bedside table “this should help with the head in the morning”. He then went to the other side of the bed and laid down, “here, come rest your bones next to me”, he opened his arms and gestured for you to go and cuddle into him. You instantly shuffled over and let yourself relax into your dads embrace. You began to sob. Tony ran his hand through your hair.

“dad, I just feel like I’m not good enough” you managed through your sobs. “now what in your damn mind would make you think that y/N?”

* * * * *

You and Tony spoke all night. It was the first time you had both spoken like that in a long, long time. It broke his heart to hear why you felt the way you did and he would pay endless amount of money, and do anything in the world to help you, but he couldn’t. Eventually you both fell asleep, you had needed to get up a few times to be sick, and your dad was right there for you. He never left your side that night, and hardly slept a wink for fear you would throw up and choke in your sleep.

In the morning you thanked him, and you both made a plan. You had promised you would stop going out as much, and you both promised to spend more time with one another, which meant Tony had to stay out of the workshop more. And as time gradually went on, your relationship got better and better. You would both have coffee in the morning together, you both went to concerts again, and you were both cheeky smart asses to one another. You were a new person. You became more responsible, looked after yourself, stopped hooking up with random guys. You were unrecognisable.

“did you ever get in contact with that guy?” Tony had asked you one day as you were both working on mark 36 in the workshop, “what guy? There was that many” you joked. Tony laughed lightly, “no the one who uh, liked all the guitars remember? Had the cool ACDC t-shirt on?”. Dewey Finn. Suddenly you were taken back. Where the hell was he now? It must have been 4 months since that one night, but you would never forget it. That was one of the best nights of your life. “uh, no.. I don’t know if he would want to meet up really, given the circumstances. He probably hates me”.

But little did you know..

tags: @large-unit @little-miss-shy-goth @paxenera @heknowshisherbs @thewolfisapartofmysoul

#dewey finn #tony stark #dewey finn x reader #stark daughter #school #marvel #avengers #Alex Brightman #robert downey jr

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thetriggeredhappy · 4 years

Note

Yo once again I LOVE your work and your writing style is stupendous my dude. If you're still taking requests, I was wondering if you could write a drabble about one of the more emotionally strong members of the team (medic, engie, spy, etc.) having an absolute b r e a k d o w n and how the others deal with it. Once again, you're a national treasure and I hope you're safe in these trying times!!

i think “national treasure” is one of my favorite compliment phrases just because i literally can’t think of it without also thinking of nic cage. maybe he’ll come by to steal me away from the fucking horrific sleep schedule that resulted in me writing i think actually none of this before 3 AM

(this is like 7k words, warnings for mention of medic doing medic things, mention of violence, possible trigger warnings for drug use, drug misuse, and overdose, and mention of problems with eating and sleeping)

It was a quiet, slow, creeping thing, right up until the moment that it wasn’t. Something that might have eventually been noticed in a way besides in hindsight, but it wasn’t, not until it was almost grotesquely unavoidably obvious. Some might describe it as tragic, but Heavy would mostly just describe it as a personal failing that he didn’t notice and intervene sooner.

He should’ve noticed that the dark circles under Medic’s eyes were getting darker, from simple marks of age to a signifier that perhaps he’d been too invested in his work to go to sleep on time for a night or two and then at some point to so dark they might have been mistaken for bruises.

He should’ve noticed that Medic’s posture had shifted from crisp and ramrod-straight to looser and lower, his movements changing from confident if erratic to downright jerky and unnatural. Rather than cheering and shouting his excitement with the rest of the team to join the fray and jump into battle, he had started simply telling them to hurry up, barking out his usual warnings with less humor and lightheartedness or even comical levels of borderline maternal concern, instead frantic at best and angry at worst.

He should’ve noticed that Medic was spending less time crooning and having one-sided humorous dialogues with his birds when Heavy was in the room, spending less time paying attention to the birds in general, silent and almost too-still, face locked in a tight lack of expression.

To be fair, he did notice before the major fallout itself occurred, albiet so very shortly before. He noticed the fact that Medic showed up to battle with his trademark crisp white coat in a much more ruffled and rumbled condition, his hair slightly out of order and his glasses slightly dirty and smudged. And then he noticed and realized all those other things one after another, with mounting concern, but then battle was starting and he had no time to address it.

After battle he’d forgotten for a while, preoccupied by other thoughts of other things, and only remembered it later that night, at which point he considered his options for a long while before eventually deciding to follow his gut and go check on Medic.

The hallway before the infirmary was entirely silent and very dim, late evening settling into view across the base, the general chaos the team tended to create starting to subside in the wake of sunset.

Usually, Medic could be assumed to be up to any number of things, but most often a specific few. Working on getting black market animal organs, or doing basic caretaking for his multitude of doves, or working with some cadaver or other probably bloody experiment. Every once and a while he was locked away in the room offshooting from the infirmary that was likely meant to be used as a ward, brewing up more of the healing vapor he used in his Medigun (the recipe and process of which was a very closely guarded secret).

But oddly enough, this time he had out chemistry equipment.

Heavy hesitated at the door. Usually Medic would acknowledge him—or anyone else entering his space—the moment they showed up, always very aware of any given space that he was in. But he remained hunched over whatever he was working on.

Heavy stood there for a few moments, observing a series of other things that weren’t quite right since suddenly his attention was on it. For one thing, his birds weren’t crowded up around him and his work, and were instead all up among the rafters, practically out of sight and very quiet. For another, Medic hadn’t even taken off his coat and gloves, something usually standard for him once he was in his lab space. And often Medic had music playing and spoke quickly and quietly to himself or his patient or his birds as he worked, but instead now he was silent.

Heavy moved forward carefully, slowly, navigating his way towards Medic as well as he could. Glanced over what Medic was working on—something with test tubes, something being portioned out, maybe. In the harsh light of the overhead, his dark circles seemed so much more pronounced.

Medic finally seemed to take notice of him in his periphery and jolted bodily, flinching back with a sharp yelp of panic. He practically tripped over himself as he reared away, and Heavy flinched too in shock and surprise as Medic’s flailing ended up knocking beakers and test tubes and measuring implements alike to the ground to shatter, and in only a few seconds the area had gone to one of calm and silence and light disarray to glass shards and spilled chemicals and Medic holding his bonesaw up before himself defensively, back pressed to the counter, eyes wide and chest heaving, looking entirely like a caged animal.

It took Medic a few seconds too long to visibly shake off his panic and fear, blinking a few times to orient himself again, glancing around their immediate area with clear embarrassment. “Ah, Heavy,” he managed, voice wobbling a little, unable to meet Heavy’s eyes. “I... did not hear you enter. You startled me.”

“Heavy noticed,” he said slowly, still surprised but trying very hard not to sound too terribly judging about it.

Medic put his bonesaw back down with a shaking hand, straightening up, belatedly noticing the mess he’d made in his moment of panic, across the floor and across himself. “Did you... need something?” he asked, visibly disoriented and rattled but clearly trying to seem more composed.

“Just... to check on you,” Heavy said, tone even and calm.

“I don’t need checking up on, Heavy,” Medic said, speaking just a touch too quickly and still not entirely meeting his eyes.

“Is just that Doktor has been acting strange and Heavy worries,” he elaborated carefully, gesturing at himself loosely. “About team and about friends especially.”

“It is appreciated but entirely unnecessary thank you,” Medic said firmly, and still, still wouldn’t look at Heavy, eyes locked on the broken glass between them, and Heavy was having a little trouble reading his expression. It was something strange and new, something he hadn’t seen Medic wearing before, but finally he managed to place what emotion he was displaying, and it caught him by surprise.

Something like guilt.

Heavy looked over the remainder of the setup that Medic had been working with, this time more critically. “What is this?” he asked simply, gesturing at the surviving parts of whatever the experiment or project was and the glass on the floor.

Medic flinched a little at the question. “A personal project. Of no concern to you,” he said, voice clipped.

“Maybe a little concern to me,” Heavy tried, an attempt at a joke. “As your friend.”

“Of no concern to you,” Medic repeated, voice migrating from clipped directly over into blatantly cold.

Heavy blinked at it, a stab of hurt worming into his chest and making his expression fall. His jaw went tight. “Fine,” he said, letting his anger take hold for a moment and turning away decisively. “Then Heavy will see Doktor tomorrow.”

He heard Medic sigh harshly before the door fell closed behind him.

He would end up wishing, later on, that he’d kept a level head. Pressed harder, asked more questions. Because he should’ve been more worried than angry, surely, at Medic startling so badly. He should’ve been more worried at Medic dodging questions when usually he was so enthusiastic about rambling about his projects. He should’ve been more worried at the doves not choosing to be all over whatever Medic was doing, or even nearby him.

The next morning, Medic wasn’t at breakfast, which wasn’t strange—he almost never was. Didn’t turn up with the larger part of the team before the match of the day, which was also fair, he tended to do most of his getting ready in the privacy of his own space.

Twenty minutes until the match was meant to start, and Medic wasn’t there, which was strange. He always showed up at least twenty minutes early to set up his weapons and make sure they were in order, to calibrate the Medigun. But maybe he was just running a little late—not usually this late, admittedly, but it was possible, even if it was a first.

But Heavy couldn’t shake a feeling of unease, regardless.

Fifteen minutes until the match was meant to start, and Heavy was elbowed in the upper arm, and startled back out of his thoughts to look for the source.

Scout was giving him a look of mild confusion. “Yo, what’s your deal?” he asked, tone lighthearted. “You’re actin’ like a total space cadet, big guy. What’s up?”

Heavy gave him a look of confusion at the colloquialism, not entirely familiar with it. Scout rolled his eyes.

“Means you’re not paying attention to nothin’. Spacing out. Lookin’ off and gettin’ all up in your own head about stuff,” he elaborated, even if he sighed a bit dramatically at needing to explain.

“Ah,” Heavy nodded, understanding and feeling a little bashful. “Just... thinking.”

Scout was still squinting at him a little bit, as if suspicious. He glanced back towards the room at large as there was a sudden noise, distracted for a moment, before he blinked, standing up straight. “Oh, what, is it ‘cause the Doc ain’t here yet?” he asked outright as it occurred to him.

Heavy nodded after a moment.

Scout rocked on his heels a few times, nodding to himself. “Yeah, hey, that ain’t like him,” Scout seemed to decide. “What’s got him late?”

Heavy frowned at him.

“I mean, you’d be the one to know,” Scout shrugged. “Figured I’d ask.”

“I do not know,” Heavy said, and maybe some bitterness crept into his tone, because Scout’s eyebrows shot up and he promptly removed himself from the conversation.

At the ten minute mark, Heavy could hear the other mercenaries starting to notice too, talking amongst themselves quietly but casually. He didn’t bother overtly listening in or moving to join the conversation, just continuing to look off into middle distance as he listened to them talking.

“Think he’s gone and slept in?” Demo mused.

“That would be a first,” Spy snorted.

“Weren’t at breakfast, then?” Sniper asked quietly. “Nobody seen him today?”

A chorus of “no”s from the team at large.

“And, uh, the big guy hasn’t either,” Scout added helpfully. “Hey, maybe someone should go check on him.”

“He’s cutting it awful close,” the Engineer hesitantly agreed. “If he has slept in, he’d need to wake up right about now if he’s gonna make it at all, let alone all prim and proper. Who’s gonna go check up on him? We could send the big guy.”

Some kind of noise and motion from Scout.

“...Alright, well, any volunteers?”

“I’ll go,” Spy finally said with a sigh. “Keep radios on, I’ll call in. Do not press the button.”

Heavy went cold, suddenly remembering the button in question.

They were hired mercenaries, and the large majority of them were... somewhat unstable. There were a few measures in place to make sure that nobody was doing anything... ill-advised. Their being stationed so far from civilization, and their work lives being scheduled to take up so much of their time, and a series of buttons around the base in case of a few emergency situations.

Obviously there were some for fires, earthquakes, or other disasters. Explosions, power outages, and other things of that nature. Then there were buttons for break-ins, stolen briefcases, sieges, assassination attempts.

Then there were a few for a couple of very specific instances. For a member of the team betraying the rest of them. For a member of the team being fired or quitting. And lastly, there was a button that was shared for two purposes—for any given member of the team not showing up to battle by the five-minute mark before prep time was set to begin, and for any given member of the team going officially AWOL. If they didn’t show up for work on time, they were to be presumed missing, and therefore presumed to be making a break for it.

There was exactly one other situation where something like this had happened—a brief power outage on the base had resulted in several people’s clocks getting reset, and the few who had purely mechanical clocks had needed to wake up the rest of the team, and they’d forgotten to wake up Scout. They met him halfway, finding him already booking it to try and get there on time, and had needed to collectively “forget” to call in that he wasn’t there on time, letting him show up a few minutes late (and promptly wheedling assorted favors out of him to continue to “forget”).

Spy left, and the rest of the team returned to regular everyday conversation, some kind of bickering between Demo and Soldier and Engineer, goaded on by Scout and Pyro. Heavy checked the clock every ten seconds or so.

At the six minute mark, an alarm started blaring.

Jolting and jumping and cries of surprise from the rest of the team, sudden very loud noises being one thing that professional killers tended to be bad at handling. Then looks of shock and surprise between all of them. Heavy felt sick.

“You don’t think...?” Demo trailed, and then they were all looking for the readout to figure out which alarm this one was, entirely unfamiliar with it. Heavy felt his blood go cold as he caught a glimpse of it.

“ASSASSINATION ATTEMPT—MEDIC”

In the mad dash to get to the infirmary to investigate, Heavy was among the last to make it, much slower than the rest of the team. When he got there, he found the team arguing with Spy, who was blocking the door and didn’t seem particularly keen on moving any time in the near future.

Until he looked up and saw Heavy, that is. Then he jerked his head, gesturing for Heavy to go inside, continuing to argue with the team, who all seemed to be in varying degrees of worried and alarmed.

Spy shut and barred the door behind them and gestured for Heavy to follow.

The setup from the night before was still there, test tubes and beakers, with the mess already apparently long since cleaned up. There was also a small tray of assorted basic medical equipment that Heavy could never remember the names for. But he noticed that Spy looked shaken just a few moments before he rounded the table and saw—

He was on his knees and speaking frantically before he even processed what he was looking at. Medic, on the ground, lying on his side, limp and lifeless. Heavy shook him by the shoulders, absolute unadulterated panic rising up into his chest and spilling out through his mouth in the form of frantic speaking, borderline shouting.

He demanded answers from Spy several times before he looked up and saw the confusion on Spy’s face and realized he wasn’t speaking English. He forced himself to slow down.

“What happened here?” he asked.

“I’m not sure,” Spy replied, clearly troubled. “He has a pulse still, and his breathing is fine, but he won’t wake up.”

Heavy looked down at Medic, alarmed beyond reason, and shook him again, shouted his title again. No response.

“I can’t be entirely sure, but despite my setting off that particular alarm, I don’t think that this was foul play, mon ami,” Spy said grimly, putting a hand on Heavy’s shoulder.

Heavy shot him a confused look, and Spy moved to carefully pick up something from the table—a syringe.

“I found this next to him,” he said, tilting it in his hand. “I am not presently sure what was in it. But if I had to guess... I think he might’ve injected himself with it.”

Heavy felt horror gnawing at him, biting a gaping hole into his gut. Because that wasn’t like Medic. He didn’t often test things on himself. His Medigun and other such implements, yes. But for other things, he always went to the rest of the team. And Heavy didn’t even know what any of this stuff on the table was.

And then he realized the worst part of all of this. Whenever there was an emergency like this, on or off the field, during work or during leisure time, in any situation at all, Medic was the one who tended to solve it. Sometimes with the help of the Engineer, or Demoman, or Heavy, depending on what the situation called for, but he was always the one there to fix it, to think things through and find a solution—often unorthodox, but always effective.

And now that Medic was the one hurt, who would be the one to help them?

Miss Pauling showed up within the hour, and was apparently given the run-down on what had happened. It was agreed between Spy and Heavy that their story would be that the syringe had been found several feet away from Medic on the floor and that Spy “very much suspected foul play”, just in case Medic had indeed made some kind of misstep himself that he could get in trouble for. Miss Pauling then apparently promised to investigate and get back to them on it. She apparently offered to find some other medical professional to help them, but admitted that it would probably take at least a day to get someone to the base, and Spy had turned down the offer.

Over the course of the first three hours, the rest of the team had all dispersed and gone to do other things. Medic had been moved to one of the cots he kept stored away in a half-hearted “ward”, and the Engineer and Demo combined had managed to fiddle and figure their way through finding and using some of the more basic medical equipment, and had hooked Medic up to a heartbeat monitor after the fifth time in twenty minutes that someone became convinced that he was dead, unable to feel his pulse or see his breathing.

Soldier had made a point, once the chaos had died down a little. Had pointed out that really, they could send Medic through Respawn and that would potentially solve this problem. But the Engineer hadn’t looked so sure, and so Heavy had immediately and firmly protested the idea until it was dropped again.

No further conversations needed to take place to determine that Heavy would be the one to stick around and wait for Medic to wake up.

Heavy ended up grabbing one of his books from the bookshelf that he’d previously left in the lab, still sitting there at the bedside but at least having something to occupy his mind while he waited so he wouldn’t go entirely crazy. For the most part he tended to get lost in his reading, and time often slipped by in the blink of an eye, but this time he found himself looking up every few minutes or so regardless, eyes darting up for a moment either to the heartbeat monitor or to Medic himself.

It was unsettling. He was glad they’d set up the monitor, because otherwise Heavy would surely be checking his breathing every few minutes. He was pale, almost sickly-looking, and his dark circles beyond pronounced. He looked like a corpse, almost. The sight of him like that shook Heavy deeply, more deeply than he could or would ever admit.

Around midday, Demo dropped by to check up on them, and to readjust the heartbeat monitor. At some point, the Engineer stopped by to bring Heavy something to eat, and to check for any updates. There were none. Medic hadn’t moved.

Heavy needed to get up to turn on a light when the sun finally set, and to pick up a different book. To pace for a little while. He fed the birds, made sure they had fresh water. But then he sat back down, forced himself to take a few deep breaths, to stay calm. Medic’s heartbeat was steady, as was his breathing. He wasn’t getting any worse. He just needed to be patient.

Heavy glanced up at the heartbeat monitor an hour later, squinting suspiciously, watching as it started picking up speed a bit. The number on the screen slowly started ticking up, and Heavy felt his concern rising alongside it. He hesitated for a while before closing his book and setting it aside, unsure of exactly what to do. After a moment he went with his gut instinct, leaning forward and gently shaking Medic on the shoulder.

“Doktor?” he asked, working hard to keep his voice level. He swallowed hard when he heard the monitor pick up even further. “Medic?” he tried again, shaking a bit harder, volume rising slightly.

Almost all at once, a shift, a movement, a change in Medic’s expression. Then Medic seemed to be fighting hard to open his eyes, to move, to sit up.

“Was? Was is los?” he managed, words slurring together and tumbling awkwardly as he blinked a few times, visibly disoriented. He seemed to be trying to shift his arms, but he couldn’t quite manage it.

“Medic?” Heavy asked again, shocked beyond words to see Medic moving.

A quiet scoff from Medic. “Ja, ja, what? What is going on?” he asked, sounding oddly exasperated, still trying to move. “What do you want?”

Heavy forced himself to blink, to respond. “You’re awake,” he observed, not quite able to string words together just yet.

“I’m awake,” Medic agreed, even as he swayed, blinked hard, “what did you need? What is wrong?”

“Wrong?” Heavy asked, confused even further.

“Yes, it’s all you people say, “Medic, Medic”, over and over, it’s infuriating,” the doctor rambled, words tumbling a bit again, and he managed to get a hand to Heavy’s arm, pushing on it and heaving himself up just a bit. “What is it? What did you need help with?”

“No, no, no help,” Heavy assured quickly, and moved to push on Medic’s shoulders. “Doktor should lay back down and rest. He is not well.”

“I’m fine,” Medic said flippantly, even as he fell like a sack of potatoes at the lightest push, and couldn’t seem to keep his eyes open. “I’ll be fine. I’m just tired.”

“Rest more,” Heavy insisted, worry creeping back into view. “Doktor... does not remember?”

“What do...?” Medic started, and trailed for a few moments, drifting, before shaking himself what small amount he was able. “What? What do you mean?”

Heavy went to explain, but then he observed the crease in Medic’s brow, the cold sweat beading his face, the paleness of him, and he backtracked. “Nevermind. Later. Is Doktor comfortable?”

Medic seemed to think it over. “Yes. Cold, I suppose,” he amended. He squinted up at Heavy for a moment. “I’m... in a bed?”

“Yes. But it is night time. Go to sleep,” Heavy urged, even if he didn’t want to, even if he wanted Medic to jump to his feet and get right back to normal. He had a feeling it wouldn’t be that easy, and that Medic needed rest, now.

Medic nodded distractedly, then shook his head. “No, no, I have work to do,” he protested weakly.

“First,” Heavy tried, scrambling to think of something. “Er... count backward from twenty.”

Medic huffed, and seemed to try to roll his eyes. “Fine,” he sighed, and only got to thirteen before he was out like a light.

Heavy snapped his fingers once or twice to see if Medic would react, and he didn’t, at which point he stood and went to find a teammate.

He found Spy, luckily, and quickly relayed what information he could. Medic had woken up briefly, and was too disoriented to answer any questions before he passed back out again. Spy nodded, looking a little relieved, and promised to update the rest of the team in case Heavy wanted to go and keep watch some more. Heavy thanked him.

Hours later, Medic stirred again, this time sitting up fully and starting to feebly fight his way free of his blankets for a few moments before he even managed to start speaking, but Heavy urged him to stay still, gently asked again if he remembered anything and got a non-answer in response, incoherent murmuring. He managed to get at least a full sentence out of him, Medic complaining that he was hungry. Heavy assured him that he would go get something to eat, and that it was very important that he stay put, and all but ran to the kitchen to dig up something and to return with it. He made the fastest sandwich of his entire life, and was back within ten minutes, but Medic was out again by the time he got back regardless.

Sometime around two in the morning, Heavy jolted awake from a doze at the sound of movement. Medic had sat up fully, and his eyebrows were drawn together, and his hair was sticking up oddly. It was more of a mess than Heavy had maybe ever seen him in outside of battle, and in battle it was usually an issue of blood and burns and mud and wounds, not bedhead and general dishevelment.

Medic squinted hard at him when he moved. “Heavy?” he asked hesitantly.

“Yes,” Heavy said quickly, sitting up straight.

“...Where are my glasses?” he asked. His voice was rough, but much less weak than before.

Heavy was quick to find them and pass them over, and Medic put them on, only fumbling a little bit in the process. “Doktor is hungry?” Heavy asked hesitantly, leaning and reaching for where he’d set the sandwich nearby. Medic nodded, and took it with only mild confusion, eating without protest. Heavy noted the way he seemed to wince, and quickly deduced that he was probably thirsty, and got up to fetch a cup of water. Medic took that as well, draining it in one go and then wolfing down the remainder of the sandwich with no further delay.

He set the plate aside, frowning, glancing around the infirmary. Heavy could see the cogs turning in his head. “...What time is it?” Medic asked.

Heavy leaned to try and get a glance at a clock. “Almost three,” he finally said.

Medic frowned harder. “...And what day is it?”

Heavy sighed, running his hand over his own head, slumping a little. “You were asleep for a full day,” he said, understanding what Medic really meant by that question.

A vague kind of alarm from Medic.

“What happened?” Heavy asked, cutting right to the point. After nearly a full day of panic, he thought he was entitled to be a little blunt.

Medic examined the situation for a few more moments, thought for a few more moments, before he sighed, apparently giving in. “Apparently, a failed experiment,” he said bitterly.

Heavy frowned.

Medic shifted, took stock of his surroundings briefly. Pushed his glasses up. “...You do not seem terribly panicked,” he observed.

“Doktor has already woken up twice,” Heavy said carefully.

Medic cringed. “Ugh. Did I say anything?”

“No, mostly... too disoriented to speak,” Heavy said. “What happened?”

“Well. What I was attempting to do, and presumably did a very bad job of, was make a sort of... anesthesia. Something that would be extremely effective at knocking someone entirely unconscious into a very deep sleep, which they could then wake up from eight or so hours later, perhaps more or less time depending on dosage.”

Heavy nodded, following along as best he could and trying to piece together the rest. “...And Doktor tested this on himself?” he asked.

“Ja, to make the long story short.”

“Why? Why did you make this?” Heavy asked, still confused, because Medic had said multiple times before that he thought anasthesia for surgeries was unnecessary when he had the Medigun.

Medic’s jaw tightened. “Not important,” he said.

Heavy sighed hard, dragging a hand down over his face. “Doktor, you have a badly scared team,” he said, sharp and short. “All very frightened by this. We deserve real explanations.”

Medic looked at him for a long few moments, the cogs in his head whirring too fast for most to keep up with, but Heavy was fairly sure he could follow along once he understood a few more things.

First, that Medic was looking a little bit better, once he woke up. Better than normal. Less ragged, even though he clearly would be needing a shave at some point.

Second, that Medic had seemed genuinely surprised for a second to hear that the team had been worried about him.

Third, that the expression on his face could be described as guilt, which Heavy had only seen him wear exactly once before, twenty-four hours prior.

Medic broke eye contact, glared off out into the infirmary. The doves were rattling a tray of surgical equipment across the room.

“I was attempting to make a sleeping aid,” Medic finally admitted.

A few moments to make a series of connections before Heavy spoke. “...For yourself?” he asked, just for clarification’s sake.

“Ja. For myself.”

“Doktor is having trouble sleeping?” he asked, more gently now.

“Stop that,” Medic said, tone absolutely biting, and Heavy recoiled a little bit. Medic promptly exhaled, eyes falling closed, that guilt back full force. “I... I meant... just, don’t use that tone. I do not need to be babied, I am a fully grown man. Yes, I have been... having trouble sleeping. And it began to interfere with my work.”

“What is problem?” Heavy asked, careful to keep his tone even.

“I am unable to stay asleep for any period of time. Falling asleep is fairly easy, but once I’m out I am woken almost immediately.”

His tone was beyond the clear-cut clinical kind that he wore when explaining most things, it was outright cold, derogatory even, and Heavy felt indignant for a moment before realizing the tone wasn’t directed at him. Medic was glaring down at his own hands.

“I understand all of the symptoms I am experiencing, and why they are there, and what is causing them, but still I...” Medic visibly forced himself to take a breath as his voice started rising. When he spoke again, it was even and level. “I understand now what I did wrong, and rest assured, it will not happen again.”

“How bad were sleeping troubles to make this happen?” Heavy asked, still incredulous.

Medic’s shoulders sank. He continued looking everywhere but at Heavy. “I have not gotten more than a total of seven hours of sleep per week for the last month,” he said quietly.

Heavy’s blood ran cold.

Medic sighed, pushing his glasses up to knead at the bridge of his nose viciously. “And this has happened before, is not terribly unusual, but also I’ve been feeling extremely nauseous at all hours of the day and so I haven’t been eating more than one or two meals at most, and being hungry makes my mood flare unexpectedly, and so I dive into work to sort through it, and then I’ve missed out on more meals and more sleep and I’m—“

Medic cut himself off cold. Glared off at nothing, into the darkness of the infirmary, with more blatant and fiery disgust and anger than Heavy had ever seen him in, even in the worst of his temper in the height of battle. It was a little frightening.

But that fear was overshadowed by concern, because his eyes were shining, tears more visible against the contrast of the bags under Medic’s eyes.

“I’m just... tired, Heavy,” Medic admitted, like a Herculean effort, worse than pulling teeth, worse than open heart surgery, and it made sense that it was so cleary difficult for Medic to say, because Heavy realized all at once that it was the first time Medic had ever said something like that.

Medic never complained. Chided, of course, and lectured, and occasionally berated, but never complained. Not of hunger, or fatigue, or heat, or cold, or anything at all. Not when he was bleeding profusely from bullet wounds or shrapnel, not when the team ate all of the food at dinner without leaving any for him because he hardly ever showed up anyways, not when it was clear he’d been woken up twice and three times during the night to deal with injuries from various shenanigans.

He was always there to fix their problems, to check in on the team, to notice one too many yawns, or unnatural flushes as symptoms to fevers or overheating in the desert sun, or stumbling, or having apparently forgotten to eat breakfast. He kept everyone in shape, kept the whole team on top of taking care of themselves as best they could, and made up the extra distance for them when they slipped. Gave them modified hearts and healed their wounds and chided them to make sure to eat dinner and get their sleep and wash their hands and to smoke and drink just slightly less.

And Heavy realized, all at once, that they never gave him that courtesy in return.

He, Heavy, was there to listen to Medic, to hear him talking about things, to be there for him in many ways emotionally, but when was the last time he’d asked about Medic’s well-being outside of a cursory greeting?

He pieced together all at once Medic not showing up for breakfast or dinner, and missing lunch during battle to hunt down teammates who’d been downed and needed help. Medic always staying up so late working and getting up so early to get ready for work on time.

He was fairly certain that Medic would literally give an arm and a leg to any teammate who so much as asked. And none of them ever so much as given him the courtesy or wondering if he was alright. Because they assumed that Medic was somehow managing to take care of himself, on top of his taking care of all eight of them.

Heavy leaned in and pulled Medic into a hug.

Medic stiffened, clearly confused, unsure of what to do. “...Heavy?”

“I am sorry, Doktor,” Heavy rumbled, throat feeling a little tight. “I am sorry that this happened. We... help to figure something out,” he promised. “We are a team, we will look out for each other. And Doktor looks after all of us the most, and so we should look after Doktor the most. Credit to team. We will help. I will help.”

“...Thank you, Heavy,” Medic said slowly, a weight to it, and managed an awkward sort of pat, as if trying to comfort him, still, even then, waking up in a hospital bed of sorts with no memory of the previous day.

He finally pulled back, glancing Medic up and down. “Is there anything Doktor needs?” he asked.

Medic shook his head, adjusted his glasses again. “I can handle myself now, I think,” he said with an air of finality, starting to free himself from the blankets he’d been lumped under.

Heavy stopped him with a hand on his shoulder and a hard look. Medic faltered. Deflated.

“...Water would be appreciated,” he mumbled, and Heavy nodded, standing to go get him a cup.

Heavy was the one to update Miss Pauling the next day, to tell her that Medic had woken up at some point but would be needing an additional day to recover. She hadn’t asked any further questions, just nodding and handing him a thin file to give to Spy when he had the chance.

He did so an hour later at breakfast.

He first handed the folder off to Spy, who thanked him, then went to go get himself a plate of food. Medic had dozed off again at some point, and it would probably be a good idea to eat while he had the chance. As much as Medic kept insisting that he could do things on his own, when he’d briefly gone to get a change of clothes he’d wobbled severely and gone very pale the moment he stood up and tried to walk, so Heavy was fairly certain he’d be spending another day in the infirmary helping him with things while he recovered a bit more. And to be honest, the chairs in the infirmary were extremely uncomfortable, so he’d appreciate sitting somewhere else for a while.

Once he sat down, he was bombarded with questions by the rest of the team.

“Has he woken up yet?” Scout asked, curious.

“Do you know what happened?” Demo asked, concerned.

“Anythin’ we can do to help?” Engie asked, earnest.

Heavy hesitated in a couple of ways, partially because he wasn’t entirely sure how to answer, partially because he wasn’t entirely sure with what all Medic would want him to say. He confirmed that Medic had woken up a few times, for a few minutes the first times then for a few hours the next. He made brief eye contact with Spy before explaining that they were going to continue telling Miss Pauling they didn’t know what happened, and that Medic knew that as well, but that in reality he’d made a mistake with an experiment and he’d need another day or so to recover.

On the last question, he hesitated for quite some time before answering.

“If any help is needed, I will ask,” Heavy said slowly. “But... maybe we need to be better to Doktor.”

Sounds of confusion and question from the table at large.

“Medic always works very hard,” Heavy elaborated carefully. “Takes care of team, keeps us safe and healthy. Makes sure we are all okay. Maybe... we could be better at watching out for Doktor too.”

A few nods and sounds of agreement. “Not sure he’d take too well to us nagging him, though,” Engie said.

“Maybe no nagging. But... letting him know we can notice he is not well, and that we want him to be well,” Heavy elaborated. “Heavy can do nagging.”

“So, what’s the story we’re tellin’ Miss P? Still the, uh, the old ‘whoops, someone tried to kill him, ain’t that a shame’ thing?” Scout asked.

“Yes.”

“If you would like, we can take turns in bringing food to the infirmary,” Spy offered. “If you do not particularly feel like being there the entire day.”

“Will be there to keep Doktor company anyways, but maybe it will help to have team stopping by,” Heavy agreed.

They started sorting out a schedule for that, of who would be dropping by when, inventing some excuses for people to come by the infirmary and kick around for a while to keep things interesting. A few minutes in, Pyro dropped by to join planning, and Sniper showed up half an hour later and was talked at for about twenty minutes before he managed to extract himself long enough to at least grab his coffee.

And over the course of the rest of the day, Medic’s continuous complaints about being bedridden eventually started to fade away under the weight of the team’s shenanigans. The Engineer dropped by and they talked over some more Medigun and Dispenser redesigns for quite a while, and Spy brought by a newspaper at some point and they had a lengthy discussion in German about assorted European politics and recent news. Different pairs of teammates dropped by a few times over the course of the day with assorted food and drink, Demo and Scout doing so after apparently using their time off to drive all the way to civilization to get some bad diner food, and bringing back leftovers for Heavy and Medic.

Shortly after Soldier and Pyro stepped out, having dropped off an earnest and surprisingly successful attempt at them baking apple pie for the two of them to get a taste of, Medic looked over at Heavy, a little suspicious. “So what exactly did you tell them?” he asked outright.

Heavy blinked, felt himself flushing a little. “...What do you mean?” he asked anyways.

Medic rolled his eyes. “Clearly you told them something. The entire team didn’t simply unanimously decide to come by to try and do whatever all of this is.”

Heavy shrugged after a moment’s consideration. “Just that all day I would be here to help if Doktor needed it,” he said, which wasn’t untrue, just not the full truth.

And Medic seemed to suspect that, but he didn’t say anything, just tucking back into the food.

At some point, Medic took a brief nap. Not brief in the usual sense, brief in that he shook awake with no small amount of thrashing and panic about twenty minutes into falling asleep. He waved off Heavy’s concern and tried to go back to sleep again, and it repeated. A third time. A fourth time.

By then, it was getting late. Medic said he promised that he wouldn’t get up and do any moving around or anything if Heavy wanted to go and sleep in his own room instead of sleeping in a chair again.

But he hesitated when he said it, and Heavy couldn’t help but ask about it.

It was with great difficulty and a lot of careful wording that Medic admitted that usually he didn’t even get those twenty minutes of sleep before he woke up again. Usually it was five or ten at most, and then he couldn’t fall back asleep again. But he felt mildly comforted in some ways because he knew—

And that was where he cut himself off, refused to say more for a long few minutes. When he finally spoke again, he wouldn’t look at Heavy, head tucked forward, staring very pointedly at nothing.

He finally admitted, he felt mildly comforted in some ways because he knew that he was safe, with Heavy there.

Heavy didn’t need to hear any more than that. He pulled over one of the gurneys and slept on that for the night, and every night after that until Medic was fully, entirely recovered.

“Doktor?” Heavy called, pushing into the infirmary and glancing around. “Team time.”

“Ja, ja, one moment,” Medic said, waving him off with one hand, the other pouring birdseed into the little feeder he kept for his doves. He brushed his thumb over Archimedes’s head to dislodge some kind of dust or mess, tsk’ing him quietly, before setting the bird down and scooping up his coat on the way to the door. “What is breakfast?”

“Engineer makes, er... toast, with egg and cinnamon,” Heavy explained, looking down at the food in question, the name escaping him momentarily as he picked up the Medigun and starting to walk, Medic on his heels.

“French toast?” Medic supplied, moving to pull on his coat, glancing backwards to check that the infirmary door closed behind him.

“No, it was Engineer who made it, not Spy,” Heavy joked, and was promptly scoffed at and elbowed, Medic falling into step beside him. Once Medic had done up his coat, Heavy handed him the slices, and Medic ate them quickly and efficiently, brushing his hands off before he took the Medigun from Heavy. “Did Doktor get enough sleep?”

“More than usual,” Medic agreed, sounding pleased.

“Good,” Heavy nodded, holding the door for Medic as they got to the hall to the locker rooms. “Sleep is important.”

“I know, Heavy,” Medic said, rolling his eyes a little, “I do not need to be babied.”

“Is not babying, Doktor is not a baby,” Heavy protested. “Is caring about teammate and friend.”

Medic rolled his eyes again, but despite his best efforts, Heavy just barely caught a glimpse of a smile on his face, and that was enough.

“Hey, Doc! Sup, Heavy!” Scout called as they entered the locker room, and the rest of the team called out similar greetings. Heavy just nodded at them and Medic gave a small wave as he went to get the rest of his equipment, Heavy splitting off to do the same.

“How’re you doin’, Doc?” Engie asked cheerfully, lacing up his boots.

“Fine, fine,” Medic said. “Yourself?”

“Alright. Enjoy the breakfast?”

“It was good, although I’m not entirely sure I’ll ever get used to how much butter and fat people in America use on everything,” Medic admitted.

“I said the same thing,” Spy chimed in from nearby, startling Heavy slightly, who hadn’t noticed he was there.

“Well, Heavy’s not an American either, and he liked it well enough,” Engie defended, and Heavy nodded his agreement.

“It is more energy to fight better,” Heavy said simply. “Is not a bad thing.”

“It is important to eat healthy foods and get a balanced diet,” Medic said almost mechanically, automatically.

“But it’s more important to eat at all,” Engie pointed out.

Medic didn’t have a good rebuttal for that.

And he didn’t say it out loud, because Heavy knew that to push too far would feel patronizing, but he did notice some things just then, watching Medic calibrating the Medigun. How sharp and clear his focus seemed to be. His dark circles were nearly gone. His face had a healthy amount of color, and his posture was straight but relaxed, almost effortless, and his movements were efficient. And when he looked over at Heavy to check that he was ready to go, his voice was crisp, unwavering, and there was life there behind his eyes. Really, genuinely, life there behind his eyes.

And he knew there would be slumps, next time Medic picked up a project or something went wrong or they had one day of losses too many. But maybe it was worth all this work just to have a moment or two of seeing that life there.

Just maybe.

#tf2 #team fortress 2 #shut up me #my fanfiction #everybody talks #not ship just friendship #sometimes you gotta look out for the people who look out for the people

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dianaraven · 4 years

Note

jacob/benedict for fairy tale au!!! Kevin/Juniper for friends to lovers!!!! Hope and Grey having a lil smooch good morning maybe? Then Roshan dancing with someone of your choice in the rain!!! Di I love all your ocs they all seem delightful

Thank you vivi <3 <3 <3 sorry this is so late

edit: VIVSS I LOOOOVE YOUUU AND THIS TOOK SO LONG CUZ IT WAS ORIGINALLY PROCRASTINATION FOR FINISHING MY BOOK THEN I PROCRASTINATED FINISHING THIS TO FINISH MY BOOK (you know, as you do) SOOOOOOOOO ANYWAY THANK YOU FOR SENDING THIS AND BEING PATIENT I LOVE YOUUUU

Benedict/Jacob Fairy Tale au (i decided to do a tangled au because it reminds me of the same chaotic energy that these boys have)

"This is all your fault!" Ben grumbled as he pulled himself up and out of the river. Jacob glared at him, wringing out his long hair.

Ben shook his head, spraying Jacob with water, and pulled off his shirt in one swift motion.

"All my fault? You're the one who said we'd be safe!" Jacob snapped.

Ben ignored him. He dragged his hand across his pants to wipe the mud off and winced. He must have cut it on one of the rocks in that cave. When the water had poured in... Ben had told Jacob who he really was and Jacob had-

Benedict raised his eyes to Jacob who was carding his fingers through his long chocolate hair. The magic hair. The hair that had glowed.

"If you hadn't demanded we come on this stupid trip-"

"You brought me to that tavern to scare me!" Jacob snapped. "Don't think I didn't realize that."

Yeah, well that hadn't worked, had it? Benedict thought grumpily. The sun was going down, they'd have to make camp. And tomorrow...

Tomorrow they'd reach Aeon, and the castle. And Benedict would be out of time to convince Jacob to give him back the lost prince's crown.

They found a nice spot to make camp, and Benedict went to find wood for a fire, cooling off as he stomped around the forest. This entire situation was insane. He might have been better off at the hands of his ex-partners. At least they would have killed him straight out instead of him drowning after sword-fighting a horse with his only weapon a frying pan. Absolutely insane.

Ow. Benedict hissed when his hand scraped across the bundle of sticks he’d collected. Benedict squinted at it in the moonlight but couldn’t see well enough. Once they’d made the fire he would check it again, maybe wash it out. The last thing he needed was to catch a rot. Or maybe, Jacob’s hair will glow again and you can see that way. Benedict shuddered as he thought it. He put it as far out of his mind as he could.

When Benedict returned, Jacob’s hair was spread out across the dark grass and dirt. Good thing your hair’s brown, he thought but didn’t say. He wasn’t in the mood to fight with Jacob again.

Benedict started the fire, wincing from the stinging pain in his hand.

“What’s wrong?” Jacob asked curtly. Clearly he was still mad. He had one leg slung over the other, and his arms were crossed over his chest.

“Nothing,” Benedict mumbled. He frowned, and put his hand to the low fire, squinting at it.

“Clearly its something. What?”

Benedict tried to shrug him off, but Jacob was nothing if not persistant. “Let me see-” Jacob crawled over.

“You’ve done enough-”

“Oh shut up already.”

Jacob pulled the hand into his lap. “Oh!” He said, surprised. “You’re hurt.”

“I’ve had worse,” Ben said.

Jacob rolled his eyes. He reached for a lock of his hair before freezing. He gave Benedict a sheepish look.

“Promise not to freak out.”

Benedict was frozen in fear. Those words never preceded something good. "What?”

“Promise me.”

“Why do I need to promise?”

“Please?”

“Fine, I-uh, I promise I won’t freak out.”

Jacob gave him a frown that said he didn’t believe him, which was fair because Benedict was a) a liar, and b) pretty sure whatever new magic trick that Jacob pulled out of his ass (or magic hair) was going to freak the fuck out of Ben, and Ben would, in fact, freak out despite any promise to the contrary.

“My hair doesn’t just glow.”

Benedict’s belly went cold. Jacob’s fingers were soft and warm. He was sure his hands weren’t nearly as nice to touch--too rough, the skin cracked and calloused. But Jacob didn’t act as if he minded.

Jacob took a lock of his long hair, and wrapped it ominously around Benedict’s hand.

“W-what are you doing?”

“Just trust me.”

Benedict closed his mouth, as much as he wanted to scream and run as far away as he possibly could.

Jacob closed his eyes. He had thick but short lashes. They barely brushed his cheeks, but lined his eyes nicely, Benedict supposed.

Then Jacob started to sing.

Benedict watched. Every impulse in his body told him to run. Told him to get away from the rushing glow that trickled first from the part of his hair and then followed the hair all the way down. Circling around Benedict’s hand, swirling down the long winding tresses that splayed across the ground.

Jacob stopped singing, and slowly he unwrapped Benedict’s hand.

Benedict looked down, and opened his mouth to scream.

“YOU PROMISED!” Jacob shouted, covering Benedict’s mouth with his hands.

Benedict’s hand was completely and utterly healed. As good as new. As if it had never been cut in the first place. Benedict hadn’t felt anything! The entire thing happened unbeknownst to him, but now he didn’t feel any pain either.

It wasn’t actually that scary, Benedict told himself. No, just a little weird. Startling. But not scary. Not scary at all.

“I’m not going to scream,” Benedict said eventually, muffled by Jacob’s hand. He was surprised to realize that he believed himself.

Jacob removed his hand, and winced. “Are you sure?”

“I’m not going to scream.”

“Oh, good.”

“Does your-does your hair do anything else? Just, you know, as a fair warning.”

Inside, Benedict’s heart shrieked. GREAT FRICKING GOD HOLY SHIT HOLY FUCK HOLY-

“Not that I know of,” Jacob said, giving Benedict a small smile. Oblivious to the chaos in Benedict’s mind. “Just the glowing and the healing.”

“Oh.” Benedict heard himself say. His voice sounded much farther away than it should have been. “Okay. I think I need to sit down.”

“You are sitting down.”

“Oh. Good.”

Jacob gave him a nervous glance. “Are-are you sure that you’re okay?”

“All good. Yeah.” Benedict’s mind calmed a little when he looked back at Jacob. Watched Jacob anxiously fiddle with a lock of hair. “Yeah.”

Kevin/Jun friends to lovers

Jun groans and eases the shoes off of her feet. She’s been dancing for so long she thinks they might fall off. The sigh that falls from her lips might border on pleasured, which she is with the way she feels now that her toes are free. She sighs again and wiggles them, cracking them and rolling her ankles.

“Thought I might find you here,” Kevin says. Jun leans back on her wrists and looks up to him.

His dress is a sparkling blue, and it swishes wonderfully when he walks. He sits down beside Jun and takes her feet into his lap, rubbing them. Jun lets out a little yelp and would complain if it didn’t feel so good.

“Alec would not let me sit down!” Jun explains.

Kevin chuckles. “I’m aware. I tried to peel you away to dance three times. Every time, she managed to distract me.”

“You were dancing too,” Jun accuses.

Kevin gives her a little grin. Charming and bashful at once. It made something in Jun’s chest flip-flop. But... she shouldn’t be thinking about that. Kevin was her friend. Just her friend. That was all.

“Like I said, I was distracted.”

Jun lets out a moan as his fingers work out the kinks in the arch of her foot and is immediately embarrassed because woah that’s not a sound you make near one of your friends. It was throaty and raspy and Kevin just smiles pleased with himself. Jun is too annoyed at his smugness to be embarrassed. She does flush though.

“Is every year like this?” she asks, to change the subject.

“The ball? Yeah, pretty much. Last year Alec and Gray were almost kidnapped, so... that was different.”

Not... what Jun was expecting. “Huh.”

“Yep. I like this better though.”

“The not-having-a-kidnapping? Yeah, I’d like that too.”

Kevin snorted. He put Jun’s right foot down and picked up her left foot.

“Sure. That and you.” For the first time since she’s known him, he actually looks a little flustered. “You know.”

Jun’s heart leaps. “Oh. Well, I suppose a new person to your... group is-”

“That’s not what I meant.”

“Oh.” So he... he felt it too?

Kevin’s hands stop. He glances up at her through his lashes, his orange eyes glittering in the pretty lamplight set up for the outdoor areas of the Hall.

“Is that... I mean-” Kevin asks, quietly.

“No! I mean... no. I-I, um...” Jun doesn’t know really what to say. She presses her legs over Kevin’s where he propped them up to rub them. They’re leaning closer now. Kevin’s maybe a few inches away from her. Too far for them to be comfortable.

Kevin raises his hands (they’re shaking, Jun notices, and it gives her a thrill) hovering above the bodice of her dress. As if he wants to pull her closer.

“I... uh, I mean, I was just touching your feet... I don’t want to-”

Jun almost laughs because, well, “they’re my feet, I think I’ll live.”

Kevin does laugh. He smiles at her, that cheeky, smug one that gives him dimples. Jun’s heart flutters again. He holds her gently, pulling her closer, arms around her waist.

“Good,” he murmurs, and then he kisses her.

So... maybe he wasn’t just a friend after all.

Hope/Gray morning kisses

“Good morning~” Hope hums in Gray’s ear. Gray groans in his sleep and turns over beneath her arm, burying his face further into the pillow.

“Hnnnn.”

Hope moves around Gray to slide out of bed and he grabs her arm, pulling her back in.

“Gray....”

Gray shifts so she’s pinned under him and he rests his head in the crook of her neck, pressing a light kiss there.

Hope runs her fingers through his hair and snorts. “Gray, darling, I do have to get up at some point today.”

“Hnnnnnn,” Gray groans again, pulling her closer. “No....”

“In fact, you have to get up too. Possibly in an unpleasant way if Alec gets the chance.”

Gray grumbles again. His breath tickles the short stubble the dots the bottom of her chin. He nestles himself further against her. He kisses her neck again.

“You’re not going to distract me.”

Gray harrumphs into her neck.

“Yes, I know. But think of it this way, if you get up now Alec won’t come barging in to dump a bucket of water on you. You do know how much she loves to.”

Gray groans and leans back on his elbows. He blinks his eyes open groggily and rubs the sleep from his lashes. He has morning stubble too, and his hair hasn’t been set so its curls stick up.

“Do we have to?”

“Yes, unfortunately. Princely duties can’t wait.”

Gray pouts so Hope raises herself up and kisses him. If her breath tastes bad, Gray doesn't give any hint. Hope slowly draws herself back to her feet, and Gray follows her. When Hope finally breaks away, Gray pouts again and falls to the sheets with a fwump!

Hope sighs. “If you get up, I’ll kiss you more,” she teases.

But it works, just like it works every time. Gray bounces up, feet firmly on the floor and wraps Hope in his long arms. He dips her slightly, and Hope’s heart hammers way too loudly in her chest considering that since they’ve been together it’s been a common occurrence.

When he finally gives her a reprieve he smiles cheekily.

“Promise?” he asks.

Hope ignores the flush she knows it probably darkening her cheeks and blows a puff of air into his face. “You’re a menace. I don’t know how you ever get things done.”

Gray grins and Hope’s heart melts a little. “Why, with kisses as a reward, of course.”

“Menace,” Hope repeats, but she gives him one more reward anyway.

Roshan & Alec dancing in the rain

The rain sizzles on Roshan’s skin when it hits, but she doesn’t mind. In fact, she revels in it. In the the music still in her veins from the tavern and in the booze that’s warming her blood nicely. Her head is a little tingly and though it was hot earlier, it’s cool now with the rain. The door of the bar is still open, and she can see the orange haze of the warm hearth inside. The musicians inside can still be heard from where she stands. The rain soothes the fire from the evening.

It’s not dark out, not yet. Just barely evening, but the storm-clouds make the sky a light purple.

Roshan spins. Her hair whips around her in it’s braid, slapping against her head and smelling deliciously of rain.

It’s been so long since she’s been like this. Since she’s felt safe enough to do this. In fact, she can’t remember the last time she just stood in the rain. Nor the last time she just felt free.

Well, she knows the answer to that one. She’s never felt free before. Not like this.

She doesn’t realize that someone has been watching her--so overjoyed by no longer having to hide. Maybe she should be holding onto those prey instincts. Maybe she hasn’t lost them, maybe it’s just the smell of the dirt, the cool of the rain, and the fire in her veins.

Roshan puts her hands on her hips. Alec stands under the lip of the roof, just barely out of the rain. Roshan almost laughs, she’s never seen it before but because of the dark of the sky and the shadow the roof offers, she can see it now. Alec’s eyes (the color of ice chips, of frostbitten lips, of the poison a queen gives her husband) really do glow. If ever so slightly.

When Roshan’s dark eyes meet Alec’s light ones, Alec smiles. An ever so slight quirk of her lips.

“What?” Roshan demands.

“I’ve never seen you so happy before,” she says, voice raised over the roar of the downpour.

“I’ve never been happy before,” Roshan replies, a little more harshly than Alec deserves. But Roshan knows Alec, and knows that she can take it. She can take anything Roshan throws at her, as she’s proven again and again and again.

Alec pushes herself off of the wall and walks into the oncoming rain, not even flinching.

It’s something Roshan admires about her, not that she’d ever tell Alec. No. Maybe others might--Hope or Gray--but Roshan and Alec know one another. They don’t need such silliness between them.

“You know,” Alec says, lowering her voice as she comes closer. Her short black hair sticks to her pale face. Thunder rumbles overhead. Lightning flashes. “I don’t remember you dancing much at the ball.”

“I didn’t dance at all,” Roshan says. She’s not ashamed or embarrassed. Back then she couldn’t even let anyone touch her, much less dance.

Well, anyone except Alec. Alec always seemed to think that the rules didn’t apply to her.

Alec holds out a hand, giving a mocking bow to go with it. “Then, may I?”

Roshan rolls her eyes, but she takes the hand. Despite her eyes and demeanor, Alec is warm to the touch. Alec pulls her in close as the faint music of the tavern switches to a soulful ballad and rests her other hand on the small of Roshan’s back. And together, they dance in the rain.

#diana replies #diana writes the makings of magic #diana's ocs #oc asks #myanchorandyourcompass #i love alec and roshan so much #its interesting because if they hadn't met in the way they did idk if they would have ever been friends #idk if they even would have liked one another #their relationship is so based on the trauma and other experiences they shared that they're completely different people without them #and their relationship is totally different #which is funny because one of my fav scenes in the whole series is their sparring match #also writing this made me realize how cute and fluffy hope and gray are :3 #not canon and prob will never be but they're cute and i can dig it #btw this is like the first thing ive written since finishing the first draft of alexis like..... 10 days ago #diana: says diana wants attention #also diana: proceeds to ignore all the attention she gets because hnnnnnnnnnnnnn

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