#but still. shame

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

i love giving koschei a stupid made up timeywimey mental illness it’s selfindulgent and dumb and doesnt necessarily make for good fics but look at my blorbo having symtomps i love her so much

#i have so much SHAME about posting fic where i feel like the meta isnt. like. sound #where it's just scenes that make me feel something and not necessarily make a point about the characters #which is so DUMB bc the first year of writing fic i wasnt even aware there was any meta in them #only in retrospect i realised i had analysed characters and drawn conclusions and then used those conclusions to say new stuff in my fic #but i also kinda get it bc ive read posts about how fic in fandom is more about doing meta than it is about creative writing #bc you need to analyse and deconstruct the source to be able to do something new with it #you cant transform without observing #so fic that doesnt do that sorta fails at its purpose then right? so what right does it have to exist #thats what i think about my own fic then #but it's not like there is none of that in them. like you have to have analysed Something to have written Anything at all #it's just i think my meta has got more complex and it's lots of stuff that im not sure about where im still trying to figure out what ithink #so that shows up as stories that explore but dont really have anything to say perhaps #no conclusions #but then im like what does this OFFER #and of course it offers some things. it offers whatever feelings i wrote it to have #which is not unimportant #but still. shame #'whats the point in things that are just to make you feel good' well to make you feel good obvs. but am i allowed to POST it then #is it up to the STANDARDS. am i CONTRIBUTING or just making noise #i dont want to just make noise #i kinda want to say something #also like. if it's not good meta then am i still writing the character? am i still being true to them? am i doing them and the story justice #ugh anyway

[valeriapryanikova]

This season, on Hermitcraft...

(speedpaint)

#i never ask for reblogs But this is a special occasion so pretty please reblog reblog reblog! thank you ^_^ #hermitcraft #rendog #vintagebeef #tangotek #i'm not tagging everyone :0 those three get tags bc they were the more important ones lore-wise this season #i'm tempted to also tag grian scar and mumbo for the Exposure but i'm not gonna #edit: changed my mind i'm tagging them i have no shame #grian #goodtimeswithscar #mumbo jumbo #mcyt #fanart #special shoutout to hc recap bc i watched all of the recaps for s9 and took a Bunch of notes to figure out what and how to draw for this #(and i still didn't manage to draw everything i wanted to bc of just sheer amount of stuff that happened this season lol)

[thesociallyanxioussociopath]

Part 4 and End of Alastor's bad day Alastor survived his fake date and will probably (not) think twice in the future before trying to one-up Lucifer on unknown projects. Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel fanart #radio demon #alastor hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel vox #radiostatic #kinda ? #charlie morningstar #charlie hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel lucifer #vaggie #my art #and we will never know what else happened on that fake date #except that Vox is still alive after it which is a miracle #also yes I do have the full color HD version of the photo #still haven't decided if I'm gonna do something with that #it's just my desktop background for now #fun fact their poses in the photo was greatly inspired by the “cock shame”/“pussy facing the world” meme

[shesnake]

“Monkey Man” was shot and completed in 2021, and Netflix soon after acquired the rights for around $30 million, but it’s been on the shelf for three years and they‘ve all of a sudden decided to get rid of it? What gives? It turns out, according to an in-the-know source, that it was the portrayal of a fictional right-wing Hindu Nationalist character in the film that worried Netflix about their future dealings in India. And even though they had paid more than twice the production cost, they decided to give the film back to the producers, which is what caused the long delay. Universal and Peele eventually took a particular liking to the film, so much so that they suggested possible editing changes and delayed the release until what they thought would be the right date. It’s as simple as that. In the end, it was all about politics and optics for the streaming giant, especially since India has become the current top growth market for Netflix. Co-Founder Reed Hastings has mentioned that a majority of the service's next 100 million subscribers would most likely come from India.

Universal/Jordan Peele's "suggested possible editing changes" in question:

#monkey man #dev patel #jordan peele #film #i have to laugh!!!! #also have read some south asian critics on twitter saying the way it's edited renders the politics of the film vague and incomprehensible #i'm still looking forward to it of course but it's just a shame!!

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

"oh please everyone has gay thoughts sometimes" so what i'm hearing is that heteronormativity is so ingrained that a significant percentage of the population regularly experiences bisexual attraction? but dismisses it as something that all straight people experience? this is so concerning are you guys okay

#'lol women/men are so hot it's a shame i'm straight' buddy i got news for you #gimme a B! and an I! and a PHO! and a BIA!!! #look hon you can be more frequently and strongly attracted to one gender and still experience meaningful attraction to other genders #you can have a strong preference without that erasing other facets of your sexuality #a bunch of people experience bisexual attraction while still having a preference for a certain gender #and guess what! those are still bisexual experiences! #congratulations human sexuality is rich and varied and frequently evolving isn't it wonderful isn't it grand

[vivenecii]

This (and previous) good omens study club theme, tartan and a movie still. I decided to choose one from Little Women, which I have yet to watch.

#i am manifesting more time to draw #more time in general tbh #I have six tests the next four days and a project #good lord will it be a funny week #my art #fanart #digital #good omens #crowley #david tennant #aziraphale #michael sheen #innefable husbands #perhaps one day we could go for a picnic #smitten I believe #I am still not happy with Crowley's face but I drew it so many times that I created a whole wall of shame #I will (eventually) get better #artists on tumblr #art

[kyouka-supremacy]

Finally cracked what was going through their minds in these panels

#I was really. This close to have Dostoyevsky say “if I die then being inside Nikolai's body wouldn't be worst thing to happen” #But luckily for everyone I still have some shame and dignity left in me #fyodor dostoevsky #osamu dazai #fyozai #bsd #bungou stray dogs #bsd ch 114.5 #bsd ch 97 #bsd memes #mine

[laiostoudenn]

no one asked but have Gale Dekarios telling you he likes you, too. (from the bugged dialogue that a friend showed me how to trigger)

#baldur's gate 3 #gale of waterdeep #baldurs gate 3 #bg3 #gale dekarios #gale x tav #a shame this is still bugged

[adobe-outdesign]

If you haven't read the "Bunsen and Beaker's relationship" article on the Muppet Wiki you're missing out on a great summary of how the two have canonically gone from "could be read as gay but probably not intentionally" to "we're not even pretending these two are straight" over the years. these aren't even half of the entries btw

#muppets #the muppets #bunsen #beaker #bunsen honeydew #outdesign posts things #it's a shame their kiss was only in the live shows. there are recordings on youtube but most people don't even know those shows exist #still I'd argue this is the best slow-burn relationship in the muppets #'we shrunk your boyfriend. yeah he's fine he's just one sixteenth of his original size. sorry' #greatest hits

[stuckinapril]

Isn’t it crazy how hard some people on this website pushed the narrative that Biden “is just trying his best” “doing what he can in a broken system” “is expressing remorse, which Trump wouldn’t do” when it just broke the US has signed off on billions’ worth of bombs and jets, hot on the heels of Biden signing off on a bill that defunds the UNRWA?? Like isn’t that just something. It’s almost like he’s gleefully partaking in the extermination of Palestinians, and the whole “tensions between Israel and the US are rising!!!!” thing they played hard into was all for show and posturing. It’s almost like the US never faltered for a second in its position in this genocide—which is to continue funding it 6 months in and counting.

#palestine #I still have that one post w like 2k notes bookmarked that said this and everyone was like OMG SO TRUE!! Like… have some shame

[tubbytarchia]

I don't know what this is all I know is that LimL Joel makes me really emotional

#I know he has a tendency to go deranged on his red lives but idk something about him beginning to lose it after Jimmy died and killing Grian #joel smallishbeans #smallishbeans fanart #trafficblr #Again its his red life shenanigans but... If only Jimmy had known how affected someone was by his death. I'm choosing to believe this #and him then going out like a sad pathetic wet cat even with Grian's sacrifice... He really deserves a win one of these days lmao please #Also I cant stop thinking about how Jimmy wouldn't have left him. Grian was sensible to and most players probs would have #Joel really does become a lost cause so its fair and Grian did still care (and went to say goodbye as well as sacrifice his time for him) #But Jimmy would have stuck by even if Joel were in this state (and they'd both get themselves killed pathetically but) #And Joel having shown such genuine care for Jimmy and concern over his limited time... man anything w Jimmy makes me so emotional lol #I love them so #oh Ig about the art itself. I dont like it but hey thats how it tends to go when you try smth new. And no shame in trying #but if one person likes this then yayy I will still feel accomplished and happy #Im looking at this again and hey its not that bad actually yay I love to approve of my own art. self love hell yea #tubby art

[taxinealkaloids]

behold hitherto unposted htn doodles! harrow+her terrible mentor, harrow+her terrible roommate

#tlt #my art #these were unfinished which i thought was a shame so i sort slapped some colors nd background stuff on them and now here they are. #top one soooo old but i still liked it and didnt want to condemn it to a fate of sitting in my wip folder forever and ever #bottom ones are more recent; they were scattered throughout the margins of a bunch of different wips and i grouped them together #in this one canvas so i could post them cause i like em. im charmed by soup bowl harrow w/ her normal pajamas. she would probably #not wear that. #ive been thinking abt harrianthe a lot lately i want to post about them more but i can't finish anything lately #not cause im artblocked or anything i'm fine in that respect i just have no free time 💀

[safe-haven-safe-place]

@keeleyshawart

#mental health #self care #recovery #healing #positive thoughts #positivity #self love #self worth #anxiety relief #still growing #self compassion #overcoming shame

[oh-biwan]

"You will always be my Master."

#obikin #obi wan kenobi #anakin skywalker #sw art #star wars #oh.art #Anakin is never giving up the claim on his Master. Not even after his knighting. He's not letting /his/ Master escape. Ever. #And Obi-Wan does not fail to nurture the guilt and shame he carries inside of him. It blooms each and every time he yields to his Padawan. #And now to his Knight. Anakin is right‚ nothing changes. #... #alriiight let's see if tumblr still forbids me from the tags

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

Vaggie no (i say, knowing she literally did this XD)

#hazbin hotel #vaggie #charlie morningstar #chaggie #playing with stills #. #she might technically be ageless but i swear spiritually she aged 10 years trying think of excuses NOT to got to the heaven meeting #couldn't even get it together enough to use the “i think my laundry's calling” failsafe #for shame

[kaladinkholins]

Very interesting to me that a certain subset of the BES fandom's favourite iterations of Mizu and Akemi are seemingly rooted in the facades they have projected towards the world, and are not accurate representations of their true selves.

And I see this is especially the case with Mizu, where fanon likes to paint her as this dominant, hyper-masculine, smirking Cool GuyTM who's going to give you her strap. And this idea of Mizu is often based on the image of her wearing her glasses, and optionally, with her cloak and big, wide-brimmed kasa.

And what's interesting about this, to me, is that fanon is seemingly falling for her deliberate disguise. Because the glasses (with the optional combination of cloak and hat) represent Mizu's suppression of her true self. She is playing a role.

Take this scene of Mizu in the brothel in Episode 4 for example. Here, not only is Mizu wearing her glasses to symbolise the mask she is wearing, but she is purposely acting like some suave and cocky gentleman, intimidating, calm, in control. Her voice is even deeper than usual, like what we hear in her first scene while facing off with Hachiman the Flesh-Trader in Episode 1.

This act that Mizu puts on is an embodiment of masculine showboating, which is highly effective against weak and insecure men like Hachi, but also against women like those who tried to seduce her at the Shindo House.

And that brings me to how Mizu's mask is actually a direct parallel to Akemi's mask in this very same scene.

Here, Akemi is also putting up an act, playing up her naivety and demure girlishness, using her high-pitched lilted voice, complimenting Mizu and trying to make small talk, all so she can seduce and lure Mizu in to drink the drugged cup of sake.

So what I find so interesting and funny about this scene, characters within it, and the subsequent fandom interpretations of both, is that everyone seems to literally be falling for the mask that Mizu and Akemi are putting up to conceal their identities, guard themselves from the world, and get what they want.

It's also a little frustrating because the fanon seems to twist what actually makes Mizu and Akemi's dynamic so interesting by flattening it completely. Because both here and throughout the story, Mizu and Akemi's entire relationship and treatment of each other is solely built off of masks, assumptions, and misconceptions.

Akemi believes Mizu is a selfish, cocky male samurai who destroyed her ex-fiance's career and life, and who abandoned her to let her get dragged away by her father's guards and forcibly married off to a man she didn't know. on the other hand, Mizu believes Akemi is bratty, naive princess who constantly needs saving and who can't make her own decisions.

These misconceptions are even evident in the framing of their first impressions of each other, both of which unfold in these slow-motion POV shots.

Mizu's first impression of Akemi is that of a beautiful, untouchable princess in a cage. Swirling string music in the background.

Akemi's first impression of Mizu is of a mysterious, stoic "demon" samurai who stole her fiance's scarf. Tense music and the sound of ocean waves in the background.

And then, going back to that scene of them together in Episode 4, both Mizu and Akemi continue to fool each other and hold these assumptions of each other, and they both feed into it, as both are purposely acting within the suppressive roles society binds them to in order to achieve their goals within the means they are allowed (Akemi playing the part of a subservient woman; Mizu playing the part of a dominant man).

But then, for once in both their lives, neither of their usual tactics work.

Akemi is trying to use flattery and seduction on Mizu, but Mizu sees right through it, knowing that Akemi is just trying to manipulate and harm her. Rather than give in to Akemi's tactics, Mizu plays with Akemi's emotions by alluding to Taigen's death, before pinning her down, and then when she starts crying, Mizu just rolls her eyes and tells her to shut up.

On the opposite end, when Mizu tries to use brute force and intimidation, Akemi also sees right through it, not falling for it, and instead says this:

"Under your mask, you're not the killer you pretend to be."

Nonetheless, despite the fact that they see a little bit through each other's masks, they both still hold their presumptions of each other until the very end of the season, with Akemi seeing Mizu as an obnoxious samurai swooping in to save the day, and Mizu seeing Akemi as a damsel in distress.

And what I find a bit irksome is that the fandom also resorts to flattening them to these tropes as well.

Because Mizu is not some cool, smooth-talking samurai with a big dick sword as Akemi (and the fandom) might believe. All of that is the facade she puts up and nothing more. In reality, Mizu is an angry, confused and lonely child, and a masterful artist, who is struggling against her own self-hatred. Master Eiji, her father figure who knows her best, knows this.

And Akemi, on the other hand, is not some girly, sweet, vain and spoiled princess as Mizu might believe. Instead she has never cared for frivolous things like fashion, love or looks, instead favouring poetry and strategy games instead, and has always only cared about her own independence. Seki, her father figure who knows her best, knows this.

But neither is she some authoritative dominatrix, though this is part of her new persona that she is trying to project to get what she wants. Because while Akemi is willful, outspoken, intelligent and authoritative, she can still be naive! She is still often unsure and needs to have her hand held through things, as she is still learning and growing into her full potential. Her new parental/guardian figure, Madame Kaji, knows this as well.

So with all that being said, now that we know that Mizu and Akemi are essentially wearing masks and putting up fronts throughout the show, what would a representation of Mizu's and Akemi's true selves actually look like? Easy. It's in their hair.

This shot on the left is the only time we see Mizu with her hair completely down. In this scene, she's being berated by Mama, and her guard is completely down, she has no weapon, and is no longer wearing any mask, as this is after she showed Mikio "all of herself" and tried to take off the mask of a subservient housewife. Thus, here, she is sad, vulnerable, and feeling small (emphasised further by the framing of the scene). This is a perfect encapsulation of what Mizu is on the inside, underneath all the layers of revenge-obsession and the walls she's put around herself.

In contrast, the only time we Akemi with her hair fully down, she is completely alone in the bath, and this scene takes place after being scorned by her father and left weeping at his feet. But despite all that, Akemi is headstrong, determined, taking the reigns of her life as she makes the choice to run away, but even that choice is reflective of her youthful naivety. She even gets scolded by Seki shortly after this in the next scene, because though she wants to be independent, she still hasn't completely learned to be. Not yet. Regardless, her decisiveness and moment of self-empowerment is emphasised by the framing of the scene, where her face takes up the majority of the shot, and she stares seriously into the middle distance.

To conclude, I wish popular fanon would stop mischaracterising these two, and flattening them into tropes and stereotypes (ie. masculine badass swordsman Mizu and feminine alluring queen but also girly swooning damsel Akemi), all of which just seems... reductive. It also irks me when Akemi is merely upheld as a love interest and romantic device for Mizu and nothing more, when she is literally Mizu's narrative foil (takes far more narrative precedence over romantic interest) and the deuteragonist of this show. She is her own person. That is literally the theme of her entire character and arc.

#blue eye samurai #mizu blue eye samurai #akemi blue eye samurai #blue eye samurai meta #just in case... im gonna tag this as #mizukemicritical #akemizucritical #though this post isnt actually criticising the ship itself but rather fanon's portrayal of the ship and the characters #for that reason lemme also tag this as #wank.mp3 #feel free to disagree of course but please be civil #and if you need to rant about how wrong i am without any convincing evidence kindly feel free to make your own post. peace and love <3 #fandom.rtf #meta dissertations.pdf #shut up haydar #edit: for full disclosure. i do rather dislike this ship. but obviously it's fine for anyone to enjoy it. please do! have your fun! #it's just that as usual! popular fanon and fandom around a ship is what has completely deterred me from any sense of enjoyment of it #it's a shame too because i was very open and even eager for some mizu/akemi romance in the future #but out-of-character fanon + the rudeness of certain fans has definitely soured it for me #but that doesn't mean people can't enjoy it obviously! ship and let ship!!! #plus it has its appeal which i DO STILL see and enjoy!!!! #i would even go as far as to call them soulmates because their narratives and characters are LITERALLY intertwined!!! #but. yeah. my gradual distaste for this ship is indeed very unfortunate.