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#disjointed thought
imagine-shenanigans · 4 months
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thinking about you going up to three broad shouldered men in a bar because your crazy ex/some random creep/etc is following you and you beg them to pretend they know you. You slide into the empty space at the table theyve commandeered and right as the other guy comes up a scary looking big motherfucker with a balaclava and eyeblack slots himself right in next to you. You press yourself into his side when the creep comes up and you call Ghost your boyfriend, and Ghost (as you later learn to call him) grabs your hip possessively, tucking you in closer.
He doesn't let you go, later, when the creep fucks off. Instead, he slips your phone out of your pocket and puts his contact inside. Texts himself and slips it back into your pocket while making eye contact. Blows smoke in your face and snorts when you wave it away, huffing at him and sticking your cute little tongue out at him.
You have fun with the military men that night, Ghost even walks you home to feel safe. You wake up the next day, happy to be safe and sound, and go about your day. Forget all about Ghost for awhile, because he never texts you first.
Weeks later, youre in the middle of your kitchen when he walks in, a copy of your key in his hand. Slots himself in behind you and rests his chin on your head even when you panic and claw at him.
What? He's home now, came home to you, his partner. Just like you wanted, right? You wanted him, now you've got him.
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theteapotofdoom · 5 months
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AFO and Tomura really said "to be loved is to be changed" but in the most nightmarish and horrifying way possible and that’s kind of slay tbh
People should write academic essays about the relationship between AFO and Tomura and I’m dead serious about this. It’s so fucking crazy … you take the last descendant of your worst enemy and you make yourself the only good thing in his life, painting the world around him as cold and detached without compassion, until the emotion he can feel without being sick is hate.
BUT THEN IN DOING ALL THAT you also recreate your younger brother through him … a brother that you were completely codependent with, until he left you because you needed him more than he needed you, so you make sure that his replacement will be completely devoted to you. And it goes even further because your ultimate goal is to fuse with this boy, and by doing so, making your brother’s replacement a literal part of you forever and also completely corrupting and destroying your enemy’s legacy in the process.
Insane. Need to read an essay about this.
This is making me realize that one of the things that makes AFO so fun as a villain is how everything is personal with him. He is petty, childish, emotional, but also cunning, charismatic and manipulative … much like his quirk, he literally just takes the things he wants.
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chaoticsorceress · 5 months
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The god Gale ending may be a good ending for a Tav who is in a romance with him but it isn't a good ending for Gale. I think that may be where the confusion lies. 
There are themes in BG3 that what you want isn't always what you need. Yes Gale wants godhood to help people but it isn't what he needs. He wants so badly to prove that he is worthy of your friendship or love but he doesn't need to change into a god to do that. He needs to see that he is enough just the way he is. That he is already worthy of so much. That he can help people without becoming a god. That the people around him value and love him because he's Gale not because of the magic he commands. They cherish Gale Dekarios not Gale of Waterdeep and certainly not the God of Ambition.
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mae-i-scribble · 1 year
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tonight i was thinking about orv’s theme about how yjh as a character, and to a larger extent people, will in some ways always be unknowable. (orv spoilers following, read at your own risk)
i feel like i’ve seen a few posts on here that somewhat take this theme to an extreme, leaning *hard* into that “kdj doesn’t actually know yjh like at all” which while on the right track, i feel completely misses the point. Orv goes out of its way to showcase that kdj actually understands yjh to a scary degree, even once they’re out of the early scenarios and the gap between kdj’s knowledge and yjh’s personhood grows larger, there are still things about yjh that *only* kdj can fundamentally understand. And I don’t think that the novel does anything to discredit that understanding, only says that there is much more to yjh. In the same manner, even if you’ve known someone for years, spent all your time with them, there can and will always be new things for you to learn about them. The danger that orv speaks of is trusting in that assumption, that your understanding will be enough and you don’t have to keep an eye out for more developments. That the person you know will forever stay the same. And this isn’t a kdj problem either, fundamentally a lot of the big disagreements that happen between kdj and yjh in the latter half of the novel are born from both of them misconstruing what the other is thinking, trusting that their understanding of the other is deep enough to base their judgements off of. (Post first murim destruction, divorce arc, yjh thinking kdj scattered his soul on purpose, etc.)
As always with orv’s themes, we can view it in a meta sense as well. Kdj’s understanding of yjh as a character is so complete that it’s nearly flawless- until the story begins to deviate and a yjh grows outside the parameters that kdj’s judgements are based on. Even before then, there was always more to yjh- but as readers, we can only understand a character as much as we see them. What you come away with from a story is your complete understanding, there is no growth outside of those boundaries because then it wouldn’t be an understanding of *that* character, you would be putting your own ideas and such into it. But talk to another person, and suddenly the same character you understand so clearly becomes someone else. Talk to the author, and they say something completely different. And can one truly claim to understand a character when the story will never talk about them in every conceivable way? What does it take to truly understand such a thing? Learning that 1863rd round hsy wrote ways of survival with such limited resources and knowledge on who yjh even is, and yet despite it all, still manages to write a story that captures so much of his essence. As orv readers, we know it isn’t everything- it could never encapsulate all of yjh, but the idea that even when one knows nearly nothing, you can still put on a facade of understanding.
We can get into a chicken or the egg argument with this, as 1863!hsy dictates how yjh acts with her writing, and that yjh in the 1863rd round is the one she comes to know before ever starting this story, but when it comes to this theme of the unknowable in the people around us, I don’t think this sort of debate is worth much. We know that yjh exists outside the story written, and how much of him is determined by hsy’s writing is negligible because no matter what, he always grows beyond it. Whether as 1864 or secretive plotter, it all comes back to that same point of there is always more to see within a person.
I don’t know quite where I want to go with this, only that I wanted an outlet for some of these thoughts inside my head, but one of the best things about this theme for me is how it answers itself. When the people around you become unrecognizable, what should you do? And orv says to reach out. To try. To understand. Kdj loses access to omniscient reader several times but always, always gains it back in orv (as far as i remember), because at the end of the day, he is not someone who stays trapped in his idea of who he knows yjh to be. Yjh too, even at the end of orv, is trying to learn more and more about kdj. Only when you are willing to hear out the other person, to learn about them every day, does this unknowable aspect become something less daunting.
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landoffreaksandfrogs · 7 months
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im thinking about trans kanaya again.... just like. what it means characterwise. its so important to me that kanaya has a fucked up relationship to gender you don't understand
both transfem and transmasc btw. it's interesting in different ways for each
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what do you do when you know of motherhood but not the words to describe it. what are you when you are not a mother.
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firethekitty · 6 months
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my thesis
text if it's hard to read and some explanations under the cut:
vash & angel devil:
human-looking but not actually human
passively suicidal
wings
no body autonomy: forced to do things by humans and other devils/plants
hates killing
every time they’ve killed was against their will: angel devil has never gone out of his way to kill a human. vash intentionally kills only one person in the entire manga and he fucking hated it
passive aggressive and stubborn
inherently religious but don’t actually care about religion: they're both angels but they never show any interest or knowledge of religion (and actively show disdain for it at times)
technically immortal
black-haired women they loved dearly but inadvertently caused the deaths of
memory loss
don’t want to be as strong and deadly as they are
angel:
doesn’t bother masking
“hates all humans” but not actually (it’s complicated)
doomed by the narrative
vash:
masks constantly
“loves all humans” but not actually (it’s complicated)
the narrative’s favorite
wolfwood & aki:
doomed by the narrative
die young
smoke
childhood stolen from them: forced to grow up too fast
orphans
appear cold and distant but actually care way too much about everything
black hair
have no problem with killing (until they meet someone who changes their morals)
pretend to be cool but are actually losers
haunted by guns
blunt and rude, loners
their enemy(ies) become the only ones who they truly feel comfortable with: vash for wolfwood; denji, power, and angel for aki
by the time they realize they want to live, it’s already too late
aki:
modern-ish day japan: chainsaw man part 1 takes place during like the mid-90s, i'm not sure if that constitutes as "modern" anymore
horrible death: become the thing you once feared
not great with kids (but trying his best)
was never scared of angel
meaningless death: this does NOT mean his death shouldn't have happened!!! "meaningless" in the narrative sense; everything he did and worked towards was for nothing
wolfwood:
distant future on another planet
peaceful death
great with kids
scared of vash at first, but overtime came to trust him more than anyone else
meaningful death: he finished what he set out to do, which was always to save the orphanage. and he achieved this with vash's help (he knew vash would do anything he could to help after he died)
vashwood & akiangel:
doomed
change each other for the better
human x angel
narrative foils
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nicofitz · 1 month
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EASILY my favorite thing from Horizon Forbidden West fanfiction is Seyka calling Aloy 'Sunwing.'
It's extra cute for specifically Seyka to do since all of Aloy's other nicknames are titles based in her accomplishments or her red hair. Especially since we know Aloy doesn't really like being called any of her titles. Instead, 'sunwing' is based in their experiences together.
It kind of shows that Seyka sees her as Aloy first, Savior second. Lending to the idea that they see each other as equals which is super important to me if they're gonna be together.
(also it just feels right.... Aloy is 100% a sunwing ya know... Like when I read it in my head it flows really well)
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molliehaswords · 5 days
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Everyone always left him.
Heart of the mountain. A pebble tossed by the wind.
He’s not the smartest, but he gets it. Who would want an anchor when they can be free? Least of all someone with the literal wind in their blood?
So, of course the most beautiful man in Exandria would blow out of his life as easily as he blew in. Without a good-bye.
He sleeps curled around the blue lute each night after playing til his fingers bleed in the taverns of Zephrah. Asking the question in the verse, finding the answer in the chorus. Just like his teacher taught him.
Maybe he’s not the smartest, or the handsomest, but maybe he can pretend.
Everyone always leaves him.
A pebble tossed by the wind.
Maybe this time… maybe this time, he’ll stay where the wind left him.
Maybe this time… the wind will come back to him.
Everyone always left him. He stayed with Opal when the others left. He was going to do something right, something good, for once. He was going to protect his little sister.
He couldn’t even do that right. She told him to leave. He trusted her to know what she was doing but even he knew something was wrong.
At least she had Fy’ra Rai. Seeing his big sister choose to leave with his little sister hurt, but at least they had each other.
Morrighan vanished and even that didn’t hurt as much as it could have. Something told him she was safe and had found a purpose, the purpose they’d been helping her find.
Fearne and Orym left with Dorian on some big mission, but Dorian came back. His fearless leader. His mentor. His best friend. His… person. When Dorian came back, it was the first time someone had come back to him. They left the battlefield together and he felt a kernel of peace. At least he still had Dorian.
But everyone always leaves Dariax.
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rexalogy · 3 days
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rawring 20s
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chronicowboy · 26 days
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i also. think it was a really fucking interesting choice to have the camera on eddie when they hugged. like buck came out to eddie, this was a huge moment for him, that hug should have been his moment really unless... unless it wasn't...
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uncanny-tranny · 2 years
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The thing about assigned sex labels (AFAB/AMAB) is that a lot of its usefulness comes from discussions around medicine (though there are still issues with this). In a social sense, AFAB/AMAB isn't very useful to describe peoples' lived experience.
Assigned sex happens to people as babies, and "AFAB" and "AMAB" describe very broadly sex categories. Assigned sex acknowledges past assignment, not current reality with regards to one's sex and/or gender.
I find that when people try to apply sex assignment to social settings (e.g., "all AFABs experience this!"), it comes very close not only to misgendering, but also to sex essentialism in many cases.
I simply think there are too many assumptions made about what every person AMAB has (such as a certain body, a certain gender, and certain lived experiences) and what every person AFAB has. We cannot make sweeping generalizations about people, and I think a lot of people seem to forget this especially with regards to transition and/or "rare" sexes.
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tacticalgrandma · 11 months
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I just think it’s so fascinating how the manifestation of Darkness the Witness gave us, that it viewed as this ultimate enticement, as “salvation,” was Stasis. Beyond Light associates it with control and obsession. And then in Lightfall we find Strand and it’s about letting go, accepting, moving. Osiris and Nimbus talk about how we were drained using Strand when we tried to grasp it tightly, how it only truly came to us when we let ourselves flow with the river. And the Witness did not know about Strand! It literally destroyed its defenses!
Just man. The Witness valuing control above all else, chasing and obsessing over the Traveler to finally control it. After an expansion where Nimbus and Osiris learn to grieve by not fighting the current, not trying to force themselves to be healed when they’re not. Where Caiatl watches her father’s obsession finally consume him and makes her peace.
Anyway just thinking about Savathun saying the Witness “gives [Darkness] a wicked shape” and appreciating how she read this eldritch horror for filth a whole year ago
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gothmoneyswag · 5 months
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i realize part of the appeal of toddlee in the scott pilgrim fandom sort of defaults on that fujoshi tendency to pair 2 hot men together simply because theyre 2 hot men and thats attractive or whatever but i think if they were to hypothetically get together, theyd have a very interesting dynamic worth exploring. between todd's bisexual awakening in takes off and his general issues (infidelity, unstable behavior like punching a hole in the moon apparently not once but twice for both ramona & envy) and lucas lee's "whatever" attitude and unwillingness to face his issues head on for a majority of the plot, i think its worth examining what between the 2 of them has to change for them to finally stick something out and really commit to a relationship that lasts. or something. i dunno, thats my general thoughts on their whole thing
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hm ok so for a while i was thinking that Wally, for the most part, only perceives reality as "Home", the neighborhood. that's his entire world, it's all he knows
but then i slapped myself and went wait. the Live Interview. Wally has been outside of Home, and has interacted with humans (presuming that the interview did actually happen, of course). and through Wally's interactions - or rather, attempt at interactions with Us, the QA, and the WHRP, it can be strongly assumed that he knows that there's an Elsewhere. there are places outside of Home. maybe he doesn't quite understand that there's another reality of sorts, but there's no way he's unaware that there's more than just the neighborhood out there
(and then of course there's the fact that Clown has said that humans are deeply involved (not a direct quote, im paraphrasing) in Welcome Home. maybe Wally interacted with them / regularly interacted with them. there could have been an adjustment period after he gained consciousness where humans helped him learn how to walk/talk/fine motor skills - this could be why he has such a seemingly inherent / desperate trust in Us & the WHRP & the QA... humans made him and cared for him. it's possible he could view them as a sort of higher power to trust & have faith in
& maybe he's been off-set or could go off-set. i mean, the houses' rooms were all different sets - the buildings themselves were empty husks, right? who's to say Wally wouldn't physically walk to the individual set pieces whenever he went over to someone's house (but then that leads me into speculation on how the puppets' consciousness works and how multiple copies of them could co-exist and wondering which is the - im getting off track. but there's all of that and then the two part "you're okay!" art pieces of Wally & Eddie, which are technically canon - dont quote me on that - and that's Another ramble/theory post i could go on about & have strong feelings on. Anyway!)
"but wait," i hear someone protest, "what about Barnaby? he was in the Live Interview too"
but was he? was he really? was that Barnaby, or was that a person in a suit playing the character Barnaby B. Beagle? i mean, if it was Barnaby, there had to be some memory fuckery going on that prevented him from either fully comprehending/realizing the situation, or just made him forget as soon as it was over.
and actually wait, Wally has to be aware of the reality discrepancy. because it was certainly him in the Interview as himself. He had to have understood on some level that either that wasn't really Barnaby, or that Barnaby wouldn't remember the interview.
(there's a connection in my head between all of this & how he would view an apple pie. "it isn't the same anymore. something's different". but i can't pin it down for the life of me.)
and with the Talking Telephone calls, Wally explicitly tells Us that he's not going to tell anyone who was behind the calls. i remember listening to the "original" prank call audio tests, which while were very similar to the canon in-website ones, have a few changes. one of which was Wally - in the tests - saying that the others weren't ready to meet Us yet. now in canon that tidbit has been swapped out for "You have to go too. You have work to do" but i think it's still implied through Wally's purposeful withholding-of-information that he doesn't think the others are ready to know. or he straight up doesn't want them to know
i mean, one little theory i previously had is that Wally wants them all to catch on to the nature of their reality and situation, but he doesn't want to - or Can't - tell them outright. they have to figure it out. and that can't was either something keeping him quiet, or because if they learned too soon / inorganically, their little puppet heads would pop into confetti like Red Guy's in dhmis 4
However my views have Changed and i'm pretty sure Wally is purposefully not telling anyone to maintain the illusion that everything is fine and can continue on as it always has. maybe it comes from a place of protectiveness, of love? whatever the motive i think he wants them all to keep being unaware and dare i say, Complacent while he "fixes" their situation.
which is delusional, but we all know Wally is digging his metaphorical claws into a desperate bid to keep everything the same / return it to its original state, leaving bloody scratches in something already rotted. or something like that!
all this to say i think it's interesting how it seems that he's the only one aware of humans / an outside/other world, yet he's so determined to stay in his lane. he wants connection & communication yet he doesn't want to leave or change. he wants help in keeping things the same (some could say in keeping Our reality & his separated) but in the process he's dooming everyone/everything and tearing down those walls himself
(Wally: i'm going to stay where i am, and you're gonna stay where you are, and we're gonna help each other keep me and my friends where we're meant to be. anyway i wonder what this sledgehammer does)
#this is a very disjointed ramble but when are they ever put together!#i have to start at point a to get to point 36 yk yk#trying to write down my thoughts is like trying to keep a firm grip on a lubed up ferret#SOAPED!!! SOAPED UP!!! I MEANT SOAP yk that doesnt make it any better. anyway moving on dont look at me#its. its. the more i think about wally the more i go insane#like he's got neurosis stacked on neurosis stacked on-#there is something soooo wrong with him <3#homebogging#welcome home speculation#wh speculation#i do think his heart is in the right place. i do think he's trying to achieve something he thinks is good & best for everyone#but... despite being aware of more than his friends... technically knowing more Truth than them#he's more trapped by that knowledge. he's ruled by it. and he doesn't really have the -#i dont want to say capacity bc i have to believe that he Can change. he just doesnt know how / currently doesnt want to / is too scared to#but he doesn't have the freedom the others have. bc in their ignorance they can ignore their confines#in a way they're more real than wally despite living in a fabricated world as fabricated people with fabricated lives#they're authentic in their ignorance#and ive said it before and ill say it again - wally was created as a blank slate while everyone else already had a Foundation#no matter how false their memories are they Have them. they have the tools to change and want change#they already perceive themselves as more than what they were made for. they think they're People (not humans - people) dont they?#so if they learn theyre trapped... they'll want out. meanwhile wally is already stuck bc while they have - in a way - More#the neighborhood & the show are all wally has. he knows there's outside but he doesnt have any reason to Want that outside#bc why would he want to leave home? why would he want anything to change? it's his sole purpose isnt it?#idk i just think wally would benefit from being told 'you dont need a purpose / you dont need to adhere to a purpose / you are enough as Yo#doing what You want. you can just Be'#but yk. what was i talking about again#oh yeah - wally is so so aware and yet so in the dark#he's got one half of the puzzle but they're all corner/edge pieces and he's trying to fill the inside space with Nothing#hm. i wonder if he'll end up needing the other neighbors to help finish the puzzle... who's to say who's to say!!#FUCK YOU TUMBLR I HAD MORE TO SAY. CUT OFF AGAIN AGH
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metaphorical-goblin · 7 months
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Something I love about writing Phoenix as thinking of himself as weak is that he’s literally the only person that thinks that
Maya thinks he’s strong (and stubborn, Mother that man is so bullheaded she can barely stand to be around him sometimes) because he kept going, never stopped going. He managed to keep Mia’s business, managed to keep them both housed and fed, manages to keep a smile on his face until the very end
Pearl thinks he’s strong, literally. He carries her everywhere, lugs her on his shoulders or under his arm like a sack of potatoes, and she rushes forward to get the door when he carries all the groceries upstairs in one go because he has absolutely no self control (and when she saw him staying up for days, just to find Mystic Maya, she knew she was right to trust him).
Miles thinks he’s strong in every sense of the word. He’s seen Phoenix kick down doors, felt the rattle of his fist against his jaw, saw him crawl back from the brink of death after falling into a river. He sees how much he loses and fears, and sees how he keeps going (and yet, still tries to be delicate with him around AA3!).
And Phoenix still thinks that he’s never doing enough!! That he will never do enough!!! “Oh you’ll babysit my daughter for me while I take a shower? Sorry I couldn’t be stronger for you 😔” like PHOENIX IT TAKES MORE THAN JUST YOU TO CARRY THE WORLD, YOU ARE ONLY A MAN
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chicabear15 · 4 months
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I think it's funny the fandom has accepted Michael being an arsonist because there is no actual 100% proof he's set anything on fire.
Henry set up the fnaf 6 building to burn down and Michael doesn't seem to be aware of this.
In the paper at the end of fnaf 3 it says that while foul play hasn't been ruled out, the fire was most likely due to faulty wiring.
I will acknowledge that Michael's speech being coupled with the burned remains of fazbear frights and the final fnaf 3 minigame in hw1 does have implications of it being foul play but that's only circumstantial evidence.
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