#even in the movie he was only there to be a menace. 10/10 best written character in fnaf. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

jules-has-notes · 5 months

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collaboration spotlight — Disney Sessions — Aladdin

After their joyful collaboration with the touring cast of Newsies in the spring, VoicePlay were invited to create some more arrangements as part of the Disney On Broadway 20th anniversary celebration. This time they teamed up with the stage cast of Aladdin.

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Join the boys for a behind the scenes sneak peek into their writing process and a marathon filming day in New York's theater district, then watch the resulting videos below.

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Some of the best villains are deceptive, even seductive, and more than a few lull their victims into complacency with song. Although Jafar's villain song was mostly an inversion of the hero song, the actor who played him for thirty years can certainly bring the perfectly tuned menace with the best of them.

Details:

title: Villains medley

performer: Jonathan Freeman

original songs / performers: [0:10] "Prince Ali (Reprise)" by Jonathan Freeman as Jafar in Aladdin; [0:44] "Poor Unfortunate Souls" by Pat Carroll as Ursula in The Little Mermaid; [1:18] "Cruella de Vil" by Bill Lee as Roger Radcliffe in 101 Dalmatians; [1:34] "Oogie Boogie's Song" by Ken Page as Oogie Boogie in The Nightmare Before Christmas; [2:12] "Prince Ali (Reprise)" coda

written by: "Prince Ali (Reprise)" by Alan Menken & Tim Rice; "Poor Unfortunate Souls" by Howard Ashman & Alan Menken; "Cruella De Vil" by George Bruns & Mel Leven; "Oogie Boogie’s Song" by Danny Elfman

arranged by: Layne Stein & Geoff Castellucci

release date: 22 October 2015

My favorite bits:

Jonathan sounding just as fabulous and sinister as he did when I was a kid

the gentle call-and-response interjections from the backup singers "Suprise!" "Oh no!"

the singers getting offended at the trombone taking the melody for one bar

"Buh-bye."

Trivia:

Jonathan Freeman was the voice of Jafar in the original 1992 animated movie, and the only member of the voice cast to return for the Aladdin stage adaptation. He stayed with the show from its 2011 off-Broadway workshop in Seattle through its 2014 Broadway debut, and stayed until his retirement in January 2022.

VoicePlay had done their own full version of "Cruella de Vil" at the beginning of the year as part of the promotion for the Blu-ray release of 101 Dalmatians.

The guys included most of these songs in their own "Aca Top 10 — Disney Villains" medley a few years later.

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After playing a pair of strangers who meet and fall in love every night, these two talented folks got a chance to sing in the voices of an established couple looking further into the future.

Details:

title: Thinking Out Loud

performers: Courtney Reed & Adam Jacobs

original performer: Ed Sheeran

written by: Ed Sheeran & Amy Wadge

arranged by: Layne Stein & Geoff Castellucci

release date: 5 November 2015

My favorite bits:

turning the song into a balanced duet so that both people involved have a voice in the narration

the relaxed jazzy tempo giving the lyrics a less urgent, more comfortable feel

Courtney booping Adam's nose

the harmonized riffing on ♫ "baby no-o-o-ow" ♫ in the bridge

Trivia:

Adam and Courtney originated their roles of Aladdin and Jasmine in the stage adaptation, begining with the off-Broadway workshop in Seattle and continuing to Broadway.

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Some performances can never be replicated, but a talented actor can make any role their own. James Monroe Iglehart didn't try to emulate Robin Williams. He took a fresh approach to the stage version of Genie while maintaining the character's core exuberence. This arrangement celebrates the best of both.

Details:

title: Genie's "Friend Like Me" remix

performer: James Monroe Iglehart

original performer: Robin Williams as the Genie in Aladdin (1992)

written by: Howard Ashman & Alan Menken

arranged by: Layne Stein & Geoff Castellucci; original rap by James Monroe Iglehart

release date: 12 November 2015

My favorite bits:

the added syncopation on ♫ "brand of magic that never fails" ♫

James spitting bars

the conversational tone between James and the backup singers

going from a sustained high note to a low descending riff

Trivia:

James Monroe Iglehart originated the role of Genie in the off-Broadway workshop and Broadway production of Aladdin, and won a 2014 Tony Award for best featured actor in a musical. He left the show in 2017 to take over the role of Lafayette/Jefferson in Hamilton.

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During filming, Layne didn't get to hear the direct audio feed, so he missed James's rap verse. When they got backstage, he took a chance to lay down a beat, and it paid off in the form of a private performance. It makes perfect sense that James is a member of Freestyle Love Supreme, along with several of his Hamilton costars.

A version of "Friend Like Me" was one of the earliest videos VoicePlay made for their own YouTube channel.

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You can't go wrong with a Sinatra tune for a jazzy cabaret setting. The thematic parallel between this classic invitation to adventure and "A Whole New World" was too good to reisist.

Details:

title: Come Fly With Me

performer: Adam Jacobs

original performer: Frank Sinatra

written by: composed by Jimmy Van Heusen, lyrics by Sammy Cahn

arranged by: Layne Stein & Geoff Castellucci

release date: 19 November 2015

My favorite bits:

Adam's silky smooth timbre

♫ "he'll toot…" ♫ 🎺 ::toot:: 🎺 ♫ "…his flute for you" ♫

the lovely dance break with Courtney

his shoulder shake on ♫ "the angels cheer" ♫

Trivia:

After they left the New York production of Aladdin, Adam and Courtney both reprised their roles in the touring company. They later reunited again on the Broadway Princess Party tour.

Geoff was pretty excited about this particular song.

#music video #Disney music #Broadway musicals #Disney On Broadway #live recording #music #video #series: Disney Sessions #long post

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nitrateglow · 3 years

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Halloween marathon 2021: 8-10

The Spiral Staircase

The Spiral Staircase is about a young mute woman named Helen who finds herself the target of a serial killer-- a killer who might be hiding in the house where she works-- who might even be someone she trusts. Beyond the murders, Helen's plight is also psychological. Her inability to speak comes from long-ago trauma and this inability to face the horror of her past begins to put her in legitimate danger when she cannot call for help. The mystery element tightens the suspense as well, since Helen never knows who to trust. Even if you figure out who the killer is early on, Helen does not know and that only makes the situation all the more intense. Props must be given to the film's use of setting, a positive which goes beyond mere old dark house aesthetics. The Victorian house in which the movie is set is not only dripping with chilly menace and suffocating shadows, but also logically laid out. An often overlooked feature of single location movies is the importance of making that central setting seem lived-in and consistent from scene-to-scene. By the climax, we know the house's layout just as intimately as the characters do, which also makes us feel just as trapped as Helen once she suspects the killer is in the house. If you love the Val Lewton style thrillers of this period, then The Spiral Staircase should be your cup of tea. It's not unknown among classic horror fans, but for its influence upon the slasher genre (particularly the POV shots from the killer) and striking use of black-and-white visuals, it deserves to be considered one of the best Hollywood movies of the 1940s, full stop.

The Fall of the House of Usher

This 1928 short film is a great example of the surrealist filmmaking of the late silent period. As a Poe adaptation, it’s extremely loose, but the style is dazzling, with genuinely creepy imagery (like when Madeline emerges from her grave). It’s not as “out there” as Entr’acte or Un Chien Andalou, but it is spooky and fun.

Beware, My Lovely

Written by the author of The Spiral Staircase, Beware, My Lovely is a home invasion thriller set right after World War One. Ida Lupino plays Helen, a lonely war widow who hires a handyman to help her get her house in order. Little does she know that Howard (Robert Ryan) is a tortured soul suffering from memory lapses, mood swings, and sudden violent impulses. Also, his last handyman job ended with him murdering his employer, so the audience knows Howard’s floor-waxing duties will likely not go as planned. Helen becomes a prisoner in her own home and desperately seeks a way to escape a man she both fears and pities.

While the movie does peak a bit early and is only sparingly stylish, I was highly impressed, particularly by the relationship between Helen and Howard. It goes beyond the predator-prey dynamic. Helen and Howard are both lonely people who have been affected by the war: Helen lost her husband, who she still mourns, and Howard was rejected as unfit for military service due to his mental illness, striking a blow to his sense of social belonging.

Helen has a stable place in society: being a war widow, she is respected. However, she is unhappy, seeming to keep herself busy with charity and housework just to keep the emptiness at bay. Lupino does well with portraying Helen’s inner pain, just barely masking it with can-do cheer. Howard isn’t as lucky. Without family, friends, or even a home, Howard desperately clings to Helen’s casual kindnesses and becomes desperate for her complete sympathy. He’s undoubtedly attracted to Helen as well, a development which becomes disturbing once his mood takes a turn for the menacing.

I won’t go too much into the ending in case you haven’t seen the movie. It’s very controversial, but I thought it was fitting. Most home invasion movies end with the protagonist killing the bad guy or someone else coming to the rescue. The ending here goes in an unexpected, but overall chilling direction. I might write an essay on it alone sometime. It’s haunting to me, sort of the same way Black Christmas’s ending is haunting.

Definitely seek this out! It’s super underrated.

#beware my lovely #the spiral staircase #the fall of the house of usher #thoughts #halloween marathon 2021 #horror #thriller

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talesofnox · 3 years

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(Yes I did the editing. like it or love it?)

word count: 1515

tags: newsies, newsies live, newsie movie, kid blink, kid blink newsies, newsies writing, newsies headcanon, newsies imagine, newsies fluff, newsies fanfiction, newsies blurb, newsies oneshot, newsies drabble, kid blink oneshot, kid blink imagine, kid blink drabble, kid blink fanfiction, kid blink headcanon, writing, oneshot, imagine, drabble, fanfiction, blurb, headcanon

a/n: I do not know any of the characters’ actors personally, nor do I own the rights to their characters. What’s written below the tag is a work of fiction and should subsequently be treated as such. I am essentially using the actors as a face-claim and almost never, a name-claim. I am creating my own character and using the actor / character as a secondary fictional character, using features for details. I do not and never would directly associate the actors with any ideas used in my own writing. This writing is to be used for entertainment and fictional purposes only. Thank you for understanding and if you do not understand, fuck off, please and not thank you.

Newsie Headcanon

THE STORY OF NEWSIES LIVE: KID BLINK

So…Newsie Live: Kid Blink

He does not wear an eyepatch on his face (most likely so it is easier for Andy to dance)

We get to sea him directly about 57 minutes into the show, where he is retrieving his block of papers from Wiesel

But, God damn it(‘scuse my language), he is a scab at this point in time, but we never get to know the canon reason he does not where an eyepatch, so I came up with a Headcanon about why exactly the newsies call him Kid Blink

FLASHBACK

Blink was young when he joined the street rats as a newsie, maybe 7 at the time

His father had been absent for most of his life

He lived with his mother who worked in a brothel in New Jersey

She was an amazing mom, never even giving a hint to any of her clients that Blink (Or if we’re using his birth name, Mason) existed

His special hiding spot was the large cupboard in the corner of the brothel owner’s office

(she was a lovely woman who did not even bat an eye when Blink’s mother showed up with him)

Blink’s mother was paranoid and constantly cautious—she could never live with herself if someone reported her, and the police were sent to take Blink away from her

So, she taught him morse code so they could communicate id there were any customers in hearing radius

Blink became so talented in the silent language that the two could have full conversation by the time he was 4 years old

MOVING FORWARD

Blink’s mother sometimes had aggressive customers, but nothing would ever compare to the last one

As it had turned out, Blink’s never-present father had left, running away to the Bronx and taking a new wife

The new woman became pregnant and the two were happy

Until she and the baby girl passed away in the middle of the birth due to bleeding complications

Newspapers tell the rest of the story: Blink’s father went ballistic when he heard the news

He grabbed a pistol he kept hidden in a couch-side cabinet and did not hesitate to shoot the assisting midwife

The shot alerted the head midwife and she appeared in the doorway, but before she could even get a sound out, she too, was shot in the head, and dies instantly

The man ran in the dead of night, having discovered from an old gambling buddy where his ex-wife and son had disappeared to

Blink’s mother did not have any customers, and as a result, they liked to sit in her room upstairs speaking in morse code when they heard a scuffle downstairs

There was a series of pops before a stomping on the stairs echoed throughout the house

Blink’s father appeared in the doorway, the pistol in his hand and multiple specks of blood splattered across his lips and face

Blink was told to run

He did so, but thought his mother had been behind him the entire time

He heard a deafening pop, and suddenly, he had been knocked over by the dead weight of his mother’s body

He screamed, a shrill cry as he burst into tears, struggling to push his mother off of his bruising form

His father approached him next but was tackled from behind by a gaggle of police constables

He was taken away and Blink was lifted away from his mother, kicking and crying out for his ‘mommy,’ he just wanted his mommy

He began to calm down, and so, the policemen holding his arms loosened their grips and eventually, let him walk freely

Blink did not hesitate to run; in fact, he jumped out the two-story window, and landed on the fire escape

He scaled the ladders as fast as he could through the many alleyways

All he could hear were the muffled shouts calling for him to come back

Everything else was just…silent, he could not pinpoint what was happening to him, but all sound came back in full force when he finally collapsed in an alley 3 miles from the brothel

Blink spent another few weeks traveling through the state and eventually made it into the busier part of New York City, Manhattan, to be more specific

He never got word if his father had been arrested or not, which made him paranoid that he hadn’t and was free to walk the streets and find him one day

Everything’s legal in Jersey, am I right?

Blink eventually stumbled his way into Newsie Square about midday, meaning no newsies were there to see him

He went to look at the World Distribution Center gates but before he could get past the Horace Greely Statue, he was tugged by his collar

Two older boys (about 9 and 10, and looking much too similar to not be related) stood in front of him, looking menacing but nervous at the same time, as if they were regretting what they were about to do

The two brothers / cousins—Blink did not know— roughed him up a bit and giving himself a black eye and a shallow cut on his lip and cheek

Before the one who had been called Morris, could kick his sternum again, a group of shadows appeared at the alley entrance

A young newsie, his face and arms strew from paint smears, had seen the fight, and ran off to find his leaders

He returned with a group of older boys who approached the trio

Morris and Oscar (as Morris had named him) stood slack as they looked at the newsies before they moved away from Blink

No one noticed the way Blink scooted backwards into a corner

Oscar and Morris left the alley in a rush, being chased down the street by a few younger newsies behind them

The boy with the paint on him was the first one to approach Blink, joining him in the corner by sitting crisscross in front of the timid boy

He introduced himself as Jack—near ten at the time

Jack asked Blink a few questions, but became baffled when all Blink would give as an answer was blinking his eyes

It was most likely that Blink was saying SOS or some other message relating to him desperately wanting some form of help, but Jack did not understand

One of the older boys got the hint that Blink would not answer any questions he could not shake his head to, and bent down next to Jack, asking Blink if he had a family, and after telling them no, Blink agreed to head back to the Newsboy’s Lodging House with them

Blink followed them out of the alley and was greeted by another small newsboy

He wore a grey flat cap and fiddled with a large cigar he pulled from his overshirts pocket

The boy introduced himself as Racetrack—a strange name, he later explained, he was christened with when he was found to be following an older boy to the Sheepshead Races every few days after selling

Race asked what Blink’s name was, not knowing he did not speak

When Blink only coded SOS once more, Race locked at him, astonished; he thought Blink’s way of speaking was amazing

The large group of boys tumbled their way down the cobblestone streets back to the lodging house, Blink on another boy’s—Spoons was his name—back when Race stopped in his tracks before grinning goofily and shaking his head, his curly blonde hair jumping with his glee

“I know! Wese should call ya’ Blink! Cause ya’ don’t talk, only blink ya’ eyes to ansah.”

Apparently, Race was a God, because all the boys started cheering and, once they got through the house up to the bunk room, Spoons plopped Blink down on a hard mattress and slapped an oversized cap on his head

Blink had no complaints with the name, instead smiling and welcoming it over his birth name any day

Most of the younger boys only called him simply ‘Blink,’ but most of the older boys coined the name, ‘Kid Blink’

Blink stayed mute for nearly a year, before he finally uttered his first words to the newsboys

He explained his birth name, but only his first, but all the boys already called him Blink so when someone randomly called him Mason, all the others were just like, “Who?”

Years go by, and he stays a newsie, becoming best friends with a boy name Mush—named for his simpleton-like comments at times—and they stayed selling partners for a long time before they became too old to sell together

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ultrahpfan5blog · 3 years

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Retrospective Review: Quantum of Solace (2008)

QoS is an odd movie in the Craig Bond era. Its one of the only Bond movies which doesn't stand on it own at all and that is by design. Frankly, Casino Royale felt like a complete story. It didn't feel like it needed a direct sequel quite like this, but that's the direction the franchise decided to go. Its also odd because QoS is also a movie that both benefits and suffers from watching it back to back with Casino Royale. Benefits are obviously thee story progression and the connections between characters. The reason it suffers is that it is obvious that its a significantly inferior movie in a lot of aspects. I don't hate QoS and it certainly is not in the vicinity of the worst Bond movies for me like it is for many, but it is undoubtedly a disappointing follow up to Casino Royale.

One major issue with the movie is the action. As I mentioned in my review for Casino Royale, the action sequences in the movie were exhilarating and visceral. QoS came in the post Greengrass Bourne era where all the action films wanted to use the quick cut, shaky cam style without quite having Greengrass's ability to use it. QoS is one of those. Some of the action sequences are genuinely difficult to follow. The opening car chase is one example. There is a shootout at the opera that is similarly chaotic as well as an elevator fight. There are a few good action sequences. There is a good boat chase scene, a pretty strong plane sequence, and the climax is pretty solid. But again, nothing quite the level of Casino Royale and it obviously invites those comparisons.

This movie is also the shortest Bond by a distance. Given it was basically written as it was being shot and by Craig and others who were not professional writers, due to the WGA strike at the time, I would say that was probably for the best. One of the good things about the film is that it does not linger. There is something constantly happening. The story is pretty simple, which is Bond attempting to hunt down the people behind the organization that killed Vesper. Its a revenge movie. So it makes sense for the story to be pretty straightforward. The film tries to be topical by bringing in the demand of oil, which was something that was a hot topic given the start of the Iraq war. The actual plot of the villains is not really of much importance. More that they are present and powerful and they need to be brought down.

Part of why this film suffers is that the villain is really not compelling. In essence the villain is Quantum as an organization, but Dominic Greene is kind of the person at the head of Quantum. He is really not a particularly villainous presence at all. At times he is unintentionally funny when trying to be menacing. Matheu Almaric is alright in the role but the character is just kind of meh. There is also a side villain for the Bond girl in question, who is also just meh. The reason you are invested in Bond taking down the villains is because Casino Royale invested you in the relationship between Bond and Vesper. So the things that succeed in this film lie primarily with what was well setup in Casino Royale. Perplexingly, Mr. White, who is set up as a big antagonist, kind of disappears after the opening of the movie apart from one brief moment.

Olga Kurylenko is not too bad as Camille. She's refreshingly not a Bond girl that is romantically entangled with Bond. She does have her own mission and her own revenge story. Its not given a whole lot of depth so its not something that the audience gets super invested in. But at least she stands out from most Bond girls. Gemma Arterton is the more stereotypical Bond girl in the movie, who shows up to literally be seduced by Bond into helping him and then dies as a result. She is quite stunning though and her death is clearly an homage to a similar Bond girl death in Goldfinger, which was another example of Bond's involvement get a girl killed.

Craig is really the primary reason why the film is still reasonably enjoyable. This is a markedly different performance compared to Casino Royale where he had a twinkle in his eye when flirting with Vesper and did have a sense of humor. This is Bond as a wounded tiger. Full of rage and resentment. And he delivers that phenomenally well. There are some genuinely heartfelt scenes as he struggles to deal with the loss. Irritation when things don't go his way. And also some guilt because he does cause a wave of death on his path of revenge. Matthis and Fields are two casualties of his mission that he bears some responsibility for. I like that the film does point out his culpability, particularly with Field's death. He kept me glued to the screen even when the screenplay isn't strong to keep me engaged. There are some solid returning performances as well. Judi Dench continues to be wonderful as M. The dynamic between her and Craig was one with felt lived in. Jeffrey Wright was a welcome return as Felix Leiter. Giancarlo Giannini is also great. Mathis was a character that was left hanging in Casino Royale. And while his fate is tragic, he does share a few of the best scenes of the movie with Bond.

In the end, Forster does a serviceable job with this film. Its a film that I can watch but its not a particularly memorable one. It also doesn't feel complete. Bond doesn't get Mr. White and we don't really get resolution of what happens with Quantum, even in subsequent films. There is a very satisfying ending scene where Bond confronts Vesper's boyfriend who is part of Quantum. That's another standout scene of the movie with Craig displaying his rage through his eyes. So while it provides some closure, it doesn't do it completely in a satisfying manner. I do think it gets more hate because it came after a classic like Casino Royale, but being a direct sequel, the comparisons were inevitable. For me, the movie is about a 6-6.5/10.

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agentnico · 3 years

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The Tomorrow War (2021) Review

Directed by the guy who made The LEGO Batman Movie. I’m going to guess for this LEGO set the age rating is a bit higher.

Plot: The world is stunned when a group of time travellers arrive from the year 2051 to deliver an urgent message: Thirty years in the future, mankind is losing a global war against a deadly alien species. The only hope for survival is for soldiers and civilians from the present to be transported to the future and join the fight.

What an enjoyable watch! That’s the best way to put it. This movie is immensely entertaining from beginning to end. Is it going to win any awards or accolades for ground-breaking filmmaking? Absolutely not, no chance! In fact this film is more so opposite of ground-breaking, instead choosing to model itself and be inspired by the action flicks of the 90′s era such as Terminator 2: Judgement Day, Armageddon and Independence Day to name a few. The 1990s was a great time for science fiction adventure movies. A time when sci-fi went mainstream and the multiplex experience was all the richer for it. Would it not be for COVID you’d be watching The Tomorrow War right now at your local cinema with a popcorn under one arm and a Tango Ice Blast in other hand. Only due to the pandemic did Paramount decide to sell the film to Amazon who have now released it exclusively on their Prime Video platform. However this movie was evidently made for the big screen. Major scale action set pieces, huge explosions, lots of CGI and special effects and an A-list Hollywood star in the lead role.

Don’t dig deep into the movie’s plot. There’s a very cool concept basis with travelling in time to fight a future war, however if you really begin to analyse everything this film does in terms of time travel and the science of it all, it doesn’t make sense. They make an effort to explain how timelines in this universe work however as the movie progresses they don’t stick with these ideas throughout resulting in a clunky factual pandemonium. But that’s the thing, this movie’s job isn’t to be the next great intelligent science fiction flick, leave that to Dune later this year, that’s Denis Villeneuve’s department. This movie’s job is to allow us to switch off our brains and enjoy a fun action romp with some aliens. In that sense this film delivers.

Chris Pratt very much re-establishes that he’s long past the days of playing chubby chill Andy in Parks & Recreation and is a full blown movie action star, if that wasn’t already evident from his work with Marvel and the Jurassic World movies. He’s got the charm, charisma and likeabilty of a leading man and he’s got the face you want to root for. He can also handle the dramatic moments when necessary and his father/daughter relationship with Yvonne Strahovski is charming and pleasant. Also nice seeing Sam Richardson have a bigger movie role having seen him pop up many times in minor roles in various comedy films. He gets a few laughs in though I wish more was done with his character. They even take him out half way through the movie for the reason that the writers evidently didn’t know what to do with his character. Oh, and JK Simmons is in this too and you can never go wrong with some JK Simmons! “Who is Spider-Man? He's a criminal that's who he is! A vigilante! A public menace! What's he doing on MY front page?”

In conclusion, The Tomorrow War is exactly what you expect it to be and it knows what it is, so if you’re in need of some mindless blockbuster fun, then sign up and enlist in the war for tomorrow... Gosh, I sound Lord Kitchener asking Britons to join your country’s army. If this were a video and not a written review, I’d be pointing so hard right now!

Overall score: 7/10

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chiseler · 3 years

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In Praise of Ned Beatty

Consider this. When you see Bogart in, say, Treasure of the Sierra Madre, the first thing you see is Bogart, if a Bogart in makeup, and a Bogart wearing shabby clothes picked out for him by some wardrobe girl. It takes some time and distance (if ever) before you come to fully accept Bogart as Fred Dobbs, an American down on his luck. No matter how dirty he looks, no matter what he says or does it’s still Bogart, and you know when the day’s shooting was finished, he was back in a pair of clean white shorts playing tennis on his yacht.

That’s the difference between stars and character actors. No matter what kind of prosthetics they wear or accents they adopt, the star always remains a star in a carefully chosen wardrobe doing a bit of play acting. Character actors, meanwhile, wander into the scene, say their bits, and go away, and more often than not the audience (so fixated on the star) may barely register them at all.

I’ve always thought the true measure of a great character actor was someone who could leave you thinking they just happened to stumble onto the set and into the shot, said a few things that worked for the scene at hand, then left again, went home, and read the paper, telling his wife in passing about the weird thing that happened that day. A truly great character actor can give you the sense they aren’t acting at all, and the person you see on the screen (even if his accent is just as phony and his clothes as carefully chosen) is exactly the same person you would meet if you ran into them in a bar.

Few actors of the last four decades fit that criteria quite as perfectly as Ned Beatty, the stocky, backslapping, red-haired Kentucky native who seened to be in Every Movie Ever Made between 1970 and the mid-90s, more often than not playing someone named “Charlie."

He may have played his share of military figures, cops, political hacks, religious hucksters, office managers and salesmen, he may have been in everything from intense dramas and black comedies to superhero, horror, and family films, but at heart he's usually the same old Ned Beatty, an amiable, easygoing schmo in a short-sleeved button down shirt, but one with an undercurrent of the mercenary that could at turns be deadly. Still, you get the sense he'd be right at home at a backyard barbecue, and would have no problem keeping the conversation rolling, dropping in the occasional "Boy, this corn sure is somethin' special, ain't it?" for good measure. Of course at some point during the afternoon, after getting you alone in the garage under the pretext of seeing your new fishing rod, he'd make it perfectly clear (in those very same tones) why it would be in your own best interest as well as those of your family that you make the delivery by midnight or the deal was off. That was to be expected, though, even before you invited him over.

Beatty appeared in his first film at age 34 (after a career that began in a gospel quartet at age 10 before moving on to regional theater and Broadway), playing Bobby in Deliverance, the soft and comfortable city boy who got more than he bargained when he agreed to join that asshole Burt Reynolds on a canoe trip. Yes, yes, yes, we all know the scene that froze him forever in the minds of American moviegoers and added a phrase to the lexicon, but you know, that was never the scene I remembered. For my money, the more interesting scene, and the one that shows off his abilities as an actor, comes a few minutes later.

As the other three in the party argue over what to do with the body of a dead hillbilly, Beatty’s Bobby is in shock, half-dead inside and humiliated. He remains silent save for two words, his face impassive, but his slitted eyes stare at the corpse with the arrow sticking out of its back with a cold hatred that’s palpable. Then, very quietly, he reaches a hand toward the arrow, and you know he intends to twist it hard until someone slaps him away. The other scene that sticks with me comes toward the end, as Beatty and Jon Voigt are eating dinner in a rooming house. Yes, it’s Voigts big boo-hoo breakdown scene, but it’s Beatty who comes off so completely natural, even offering up (yes) a “This corn sure is something special, ain’t it?” to anyone who might be listening. That’s the thing. While Reynolds and Voigt take on wholly unconvincing and cartoonish Southern accents and Ronny Cox fakes his way through “Dueling Banjoes” and everything else, Beatty is the one major player here who seems authentic throughout.

In Robert Altman’s Nashville he played essentially the same character in a different context, and comes off just as real. As a gladhanding political campaign manager, he forces an unsuspecting and naive Shelly Duvall to strip at a fundraiser, not knowing how she couldn’t have understood that was part of the deal from the beginning. But again for my money his showcase scene is a quiet one. He returns home to his wife and deaf son, and without saying a word, you can see in his eyes how very uncomfortable the deaf kid makes him.

The only time Beatty ever seems like he’s acting is when he plays against type, whether it’s as Lex Luthor’s dimwitted henchman in Superman or as the cool, slick, and menacing network chief in Sidney Lumet’s Network, in which he delivers what I still hold to be the Greatest Monologue in Film History. And maybe it was because you could tell he was acting that his role in Network earned him his one and only Oscar nomination.

After that, with only rare exception, Ned Beatty has been playing Ned Beatty whether as a religious huckster in both John Boorman’s Exorcist II: The Heretic and John Huston’s Wise Blood, or the bereaved and angry father looking into his soldier son’s death in Friendly Fire, or as a recurring character on Roseanne. He remains solid and immutable regardless of the context or the tone or the profession he’s assumed in a role. It’s always merely a shade, a slight variant on the core character he first revealed in Deliverance. He’s eternally relaxed and authentic and likeable up to the point at which he twists that arrow in your back.

I suspect it’s that believability no matter the role that explains why, so far as I can tell, no one’s written at length about Beatty��s acting—because it always feels like he just wandered onto the set looking for a payphone.

It also has me worried and convinced that Beatty, who died on June 13th at age 83, was in reality a twitchy, high-strung germophobe with a closet full of silk shirts. Though I guess if that’s the case, it would say even more about his acting ability.

by Jim Knipfel

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lambourngb · 4 years

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Get me out of here - places to go when canon is complicated

It’s Day 3, time to celebrate those stories that I turn to when I can’t deal with canon, or when I don’t have the emotional energy to untangle all the emotions I have for what’s going on in canon. Alternative universes, the safe harbor for us. Below are a mix of rewrites of canon, remixes of canon, or out right not even set in Roswell- to fill every type distance you want from canon- from near to far.

The first story I’m reccing is a long one,- so pardon the very long review below.

my love is a life taker by @jocarthage (267,600) So one day, Jessi popped into discord to share a dream she had about timetravel and being able to save yourself in the past basically, particularly Alex getting to give his baby-self a hug, and we all went, “holy shit that’s a cool fic idea please write it!” and really reality sucks right now with quarantine and whatnot, so what better thing to do than follow a WIP? I can’t tell you how badly I needed to something to look forward to as I was staring down a milestone birthday with all my plans in tatters, and this story filled the void.

Okay- now about the actual story itself, the world building about time travel in this is incredible but easy to absorb. Jessi dumps you straight into the action in chapter 1 with Alex, at 28, assassinating an Iraqi intelligence agent in 2009 that averts a bomb that was planned on US forces. You learn so much about both the story-universe and Alex here- one, that even dressed in mask and killing someone, Alex is kind and uses morphine as an overdose and has arranged for his victim’s family to be compensated, you learn that time agents can only visit places they themselves have visited during that time, and Jesse Manes had dragged his son, who was ‘time aware’ to every place of war and ruin on the planet before he was 18 and that, Alex’s victim, even as he’s dying, recognizes what a shit childhood Alex had but that Alex doesn’t.

The next part is where Alex’s time crystal malfunctions, instead of returning him to 2018, it takes him to 1998 where an 8 year old Michael is getting beaten by his foster dad and Alex, out of his time line mysteriously, visible to only Michael, saves him, but only temporarily. We all know with abusers, until you’re out of the house, it’s just a matter of time before the next beating. However, with one act, Alex at 28 starts putting into action (even though he doesn’t recognize it at the time) the steps to save his own life as he works to save Michael from his childhood. Each mission, each jump through time, Alex meets Michael, always a year apart and only for 1000 seconds, or almost 17 minutes. Jessi takes you through some of the darkest points of US foreign policy, only as Alex takes control of his life, he also starts to change the missions, and change the world. The details of places, people, food, etc are authentic from the author’s experience, if you don’t click on the links at the end of the chapters and disappear down google-rabbit holes about the events in history, well- you’re made of stronger stuff than I am. There are lots of heavy subjects discussed, but there’s always care and honesty behind the intent. The way Michael grows, the way Alex grows, and of course the journey to the present time when they could be together? It’s like pining on steroids but it’s so wonderful. I wish I could pull out one thing that I loved in particular in this story- but it’s impossible, only to say that I love that I could disappear completely within the confines of ‘my love is a life taker’ knowing that I would be kept safe by the author, that goodness prevails.

 when I’m oceans away by @neapeaikea (28,000) this is a post-2008 shed canon-divergent AU where Alex Manes, after the best/worst night of his life bolts from Roswell and leaves Michael behind. 10 years later, on the hunt for a child conceived at Caulfield, Michael walks into a youth home in California and finds Alex. A few things, I love that this author writes an Alex who didn’t join the Air Force but still lost a leg, I don’t really enjoy disability erasure in modern AUs (I’m better at looking past that in historical or sci fi aus) . It’s pretty clear after five minutes that the connection between the two men is still there and strong despite anger, secrets and guilt. The teasing and flirting between them is great but so is the acceptance of baring their vulnerabilities. I loved the care they take with each other, and the tie in to an alien child is just so perfect.

Crucibles (series) @ninswhimsy (9,000)- I’m cheating and naming both here, but obviously nin had her finger on the pulse of fandom, by writing crusade-set queer stories before The Old Guard ever boomed into a fandom from the movie. I was lucky enough to trade DMs over the ideas of holiness and the body, and how Alex would have treated himself, certain of his doomed soul, and how Michael would have responded in turn. It’s no secret I love everything Nin writes, but this series stuck in my mind. I will be drifting off to sleep, and think about Alex walking through the ancient city of Aleppo, ready to be done with his burden and Michael there with soft palms and scented oil, and boom! I reach for my kindle to re-read it.

no regrets if we walk this new road by @andrea-lyn (97,000) This author has written so many amazing AUs, some quite far away from canon events like her Mummy AU or her Avengers AU, but I have to say, I have a very soft-spot for this rewrite of season 1 for a lot of reasons. I mean, it’s 2020, so my appetite for Cop!Max is definitely at an all-time low, so the idea of exchanging his job with Kyle’s was extremely appealing. At least Kyle is a POC holding the badge, not a white man like our canon. Anyway, politics aside, this story is special to me for the scorching good Isobel/Kyle relationship that develops, the way Isobel sharpens herself into a lawyer (not an event planner) and how Michael rounds his own edges off in turn by becoming a teacher (and being secretly married). Each deviation from canon made complete sense once you alter the way Rosa’s death affects the pod squad, and how they covered it up ripples out toward Liz, Kyle, etc.

 Layer on layer, down on down by @dotsayers (9,440) I love sci-fi tropes, especially time-loops, but they are incredibly hard to write (I know, I abandoned mine a while ago) so this story stands out because of just how well done the execution is and also the angst. Michael in a time loop about Caulfield, like how great/agonizing is that? The plot is so good, how it ties into Caulfield and why it happens in the first place, like wow. The care, and the hurt, and the fatigue that Michael has in this story, oh you just want to wrap him in a blanket. There’s a tiny throwaway line about how one of the first things Michael learned to do in foster care was to make himself heavy and unmovable- and you instantly picture kid!Michael not wanting to be removed from a house - like my heart broke! The structure of the story, with the background of his just how much he loves Alex but how badly it hurts to see him die, really makes this study of 1x12 special. Along with all the angst, there’s tiny gallows humor lines, so am I weird, that I laughed through a couple of these scenes even as Michael kept dying?

Petty pace by @aewriting (11,600) Aewriting has a couple of stellar AUs, so trying to pick just one was difficult, but I rather feel this story is sadly underappreciated it (mind the tags). It was a remix of @iwontbeyourmedicine ‘s fantastic ‘Freaky Friday’, where the humans and aliens swap roles. Alex in the role of Michael basically was something I had never pictured until Ly wrote that story, and now feel utterly changed by it, especially with this backstory- the idea of Jesse Manes bringing a foster child home? Incredibly well done because there’s an off the charts level of menace in this story. The way Jesse watches Alex, who at first mistakes it for how a pedophile might size up a victim, but then catches on quickly that it’s so much worse in a lot of ways. And Alex is such a loner in the beginning, even as he reconnects with his pod siblings Liz and Maria, he’s still planning on keeping his head down and leaving Roswell far behind. Like freedom is literally the only thing he can conceive of for himself, no real dreams outside of that until Michael slips under his defenses. I probably could have saved this story for angst day- because the second half of the story, if you don’t sob while you read it, then I dunno. It’s helpful to read Ly’s story right afterward as a reminder that things do get better for Alex ten years later. In a lot of ways this story is sadder than canon (though there’s no murder of Rosa/4th alien), I’m comforted that at least Alex has Liz in the aftermath, alike in heartache in a way that Michael didn’t have because of the pact he and Max made about Isobel in canon.

Unexpected tidings by @bestillmyslashyheart (24,800) Another rewrite of canon, that explores a couple of very interesting questions, like what would it look like if Michael never made it back to Roswell as a kid but met Alex by chance in 2008? Imagine the cornerstone of the Lost Decade love affair revolving around the mundane questions of a long distance relationship that wasn’t built on the pain of the shed or Rosa’s death? Marlo writes an amazing take on this, that is both real and deep with the normal couple problems, before introducing that spanner in the works of oh yeah, aliens are real. With Michael on the east coast, and Alex finishing off his service in Roswell, Project Shepherd still entangles Alex with Liz bringing him in on the secret in hopes that with his hacker skills he can track down the third alien child that Max and Iz remember so they can warn him. As interesting as the current plot was, I found myself absolutely revitted the slow piecemeal reveals that Marlo doled out about Alex and Michael’s relationship over time. (I also while rereading this recently got very nostaglic for season 1 Alex who didn’t trust Jesse as far as he could toss him.)

Don’t Punish Me For What I Feel by @winged-fool (3,600) Tarsus IV AU - another wonderful author with a catalog of great AUs, both sci-fi and dark, and honestly it was difficult to narrow it down to one. This story, well in 2009 I was a hard core Trek movie fan, so when I saw a trek-fusion story appear, I knew I would love it just on that basis. The thing is, this gave me Michael as the Captain, a surprisingly rare role for these space fusions, even though genius level repeat offender Jim Kirk and genius level repeat offender Michael Guerin seems pretty married in my mind as a connection. As a Tarsus-like story, all the tags are well earned by the story that Alex finally shares with Michael. It hit on so many levels, the hurt/comfort level for sure, but also to have a story where Michael is this stalwart protector of Alex was really nice to find.

this isn’t the ‘holiday best friends championship’ by @usbournejez (6,090) alright to leave this on a lighter note, my final AU rec is this masterpiece by Kieran that was part of Malex Secret Santa gift fics- and what a gift it was to all of us! The way she writes established Malex is first-rate, because she always includes their canon-levels of snark/sharpness but it’s never directed at each other and that’s something I love. Here we have Alex, where we learn in just a few short lines, is a huge control freak but has the extremely big emotional handicap, and that’s his love/fondness/deserve to caretake Michael. Emotional cactus Alex who is soft for Michael? Love it. There are small drops of angsty backstory peppered in this, but really that just fuels just how sweet and wonderful the main theme of the story- which is Alex might hate the whole world at large, he loves, protects and worships Michael (and vice versa). As someone who can bake cookies, but that’s about it, I was still enthralled with the baking details and this story has never failed to encourage me to eat dessert before dinner basically.

#rnmcreate2020 #malex fic #roswell new mexico #malex fic rec #malex #MALEX FEELS #michael guerin #alex manes #fandom positivity #worship our great authors in this fandom #can we pretend it's Wednesday?#a day late and a dollar short #working on today's now!

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booksbookssomemoviesandbooks · 3 years

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Book Recs

Hello! so for my first post, I'll recommend some books, so y'all can have a closer look at some fandoms I'll post about! enjoy!!

Harry Potter By J.K. Rowling is definitely an interesting, well-written series! there are 7 books however, and the books get bigger as the series progresses. It's sometimes difficult to know the exact order, so I'll list it below:

Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone (Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone)

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

Although the movies are great, they don't include all the amazing details, as with all movies. A short summary:

Harry Potter, a young boy who’s being constantly abused by his uncle Vernon and aunt Petunia, gets a peculiar letter from the magical school of Hogwarts, where he spends most of his time, becoming his home.

Quotes:

“To the well-organized mind, death is but the next great adventure." ― Albus Dumbledore

“You’re just as sane as I am" - Luna Lovegood

“Mischief managed" - Fred and George Weasley

It is Important to know that j*r is a huge transphobe, along with other things, and is currently being erased by the fandom itself.

Percy Jackson and the Olympians, along with the other series by Rick Riordan, is a definite must-read. With each book, you can really notice the character developments and a lot more! There is loads of representation in this one, with lgbtqia+ characters, black characters, Muslim characters and more. It's very action-packed and addicting, sucking you into the magnificent world of Half-Bloods and Demigods within the first page. The first series consists of 5 books, in the following order:

Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief

Percy Jackson and the Sea of Monsters

Percy Jackson and the Titan's Curse

Percy Jackson and the Battle of The Labyrinth

Percy Jackson and the Last Olympian

THE MOVIES ARE TRASH SO I DEFINITELY DO NOT RECOMMEND WATCHING THEM BEFORE READING THE BOOKS!!! There were many changes and the movies aren't nearly as good as the books. A short summary:

Percy Jackson, a 12 year-old who lives with his mother, Sally, and step-father, Gabe, attends the private boarding school Yancy Academy. While on a school trip, his teacher, Mrs. Dodds, turns into a fury and attacks him. This, in turn, triggers a series of other problems and adventures.

Quotes:

“If my life is going to mean anything, I have to live it myself.” - Percy Jackson

“With great power, comes great need to nap. Wake me up later." - Nico Di Angelo

“Even strength has to bow down to wisdom sometimes." - Annabeth Chase

The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins is one of my most recommended series! With everything it deals with, from the Capitol to the districts to the champions, the books are amazing!

Order:

The Hunger Games

Catching Fire

Mockingjay

Starring the movies is the amazing Jennifer Lawrence, but with all books, the movies have slight differences, although I definitely recommend watching them when you're done with the books.

A Short Summary:

In what was once North America, the Capitol of Panem maintains its hold on its 12 districts by forcing them each to select a boy and a girl, called Tributes, to compete in a nationally televised event called the Hunger Games. Every citizen must watch as the youths fight to the death until only one remains. District 12 Tribute Katniss Everdeen has little to rely on, other than her hunting skills and sharp instincts, in an arena where she must weigh survival against love.

(FILM SYNOPSIS)

Quotes:

"May the odds be ever in your favor." - Effie Trinket

"Fire is catching, and if we burn, you burn with us!" - Katniss Everdeen

“Hope is the only thing stronger than fear.” - President Snow

Divergent is another book with a huge fandom, and rightfully so. This book is amazing, and you honestly can't live without having read it!

Order:

Divergent

Insurgent

Allegiant

Surprisingly, I haven't watched the movies yet, but I hear that they aren’t that bad, so you should give them a go!

Summary:

In a world run by fictional classes known as factions, children who reach the age of 16 begin to choose which factions they wish to call home for the rest of their lives. Each faction comes with its own ups and downs, so it's definitely a hard choice, especially for someone as unique as Beatrice.

Quotes:

“Becoming fearless isn't the point. That's impossible. It's learning how to control your fear, and how to be free from it“ - Four

“We believe in ordinary acts of bravery, in the courage that drives one person to stand up for another.” - Dauntless Motto

"We are not the same. But we are, somehow, one." - Tris

You might have heard of this series, and it's really addictive, trust me! The Mortal Instruments is one of the most astonishing books I've ever read, and it's most definitely my go-to when recommending a book series!

Order:

City of Bones

City of Ashes

City of Glass

City of Fallen Angels

City of Lost Souls

City of Heavenly Fire

Again, (I know this is rather disappointing) I haven't watched the movies, but do check them out!

Summary:

Clary Fray's search for her missing mother leads her into an alternate New York called Downworld, filled with mysterious faeries, hard-partying warlocks, not-what-they-seem vampires, an army of werewolves, and the demons who want to destroy it all.

via: https://shadowhunters.com/shadowhunters-novels/the-mortal-instruments/#:~:text=Clary%20Fray's%20search%20for%20her,want%20to%20destroy%20it%20all.

Quotes:

“Heroes aren't always the ones who win. They're the ones who lose, sometimes. But they keep fighting, they keep coming back. They don't give up. That's what makes them heroes.” - Clary Fairchild

“If I cannot move Heaven, I will raise Hell.” - Sebastion Morgenstern

“The descent into Hell is easy.” - Motto of the Nephilim

Gay. What more needs to be said?

SADLY, there isn't a movie yet, but I think they're working on one, or sure though

Summary:

Set in a world in which a female Democrat from Texas wins the presidency in 2016, Red, White & Royal Blue chronicles the illicit romance between the president's son, Georgetown senior Alex Claremont-Diaz (Dad is a Mexican-American senator), and Prince Henry of Wales, his childhood nemesis.

Via: https://www.wsj.com/articles/red-white-royal-blue-book-summer-beach-read-11565285001#:~:text=Set%20in%20a%20world%20in,of%20Wales%2C%20his%20childhood%20nemesis.

Also, classic enemies-friends-lovers arc and honestly it's amazing

Quotes:

“As your mother, I can appreciate that maybe this isn’t your fault, but as the president, all I want is to have the CIA fake your death and ride the dead-kid sympathy into a second term.” - Ellen Claremont

" 'that’s because you can’t hear all the menacing gobbling.' 'Yes, famously the most sinister of all animal sounds, the gobble.' " - Harry and Alex

"History, huh? Bet we could make some." - Alex

I’m sure you've heard at least a little bit about this book. While not nearly as famous as ones mentioned above, it's still just as good, of not better. I'd say this book is one of my favorites, to be honest. It speaks about a lot of topics people usually find disturbing, and it makes me so happy that it's there, it's written, it's amazing. PTSD, coming out issues, abusive relationships and more, this book is truly awesome.

TRIGGER WARNING

Summary:

A young boy named Charlie usually dissociates, and pushes other people away. He’s afraid of beginning high school, until he meets two other students who show him how bizarre and amazing the world is.

Quotes:

“And in that moment, I swear we were infinite” - Charlie

“We accept the love we think we deserve” - Mr. Anderson

“You can't just sit there and put everybody's lives ahead of yours and think that counts as love" - Sam

This book is honestly pro-feminist and I think that's much more than enough

Summary:

Kaur explores the true impact of sexual abuse and harassment, as well as the difficulties of immigrating, being a female, and depression.

It's also a poem

TRIGGER WARNING

Quotes:

“what is stronger

than the human heart

which shatters over and over

and still lives”

“you do not just wake up and become the butterfly

- growth is a process”

“on the last day of love

my heart cracked inside my body"

This book isn't very well-known, which really sucks because I really love how it speaks about the consequences of WWII from the German point of view. And about the Germans who did not believe in Hitler's ways. It's also based on a real story, and it's so cool

Summary:

A nurse working in a nursing home meets a peculiar old lady who decides to tell her her story when she meets the nurse's younger son, Karl, who reminded her of her brother. Lizzie (the old lady) speaks about life in Dresden before the war, and even after it. She also tells them the story about the strange, magnificent elephant in her garden.

Quotes:

“That was the only way of keeping our hopes alive, by looking beyond all we were seeing around us, and the shadow of disaster that hung over us.” -

“I think I have always had a strong sense of justice, of fair play, of what is right and what is wrong.” -

“Our home should be an oasis of peace and harmony for us in a troubled world.” - Lizzie (Quoting Papi)

10.

This book is pro-blm and it's ahead of its time (by like 2 years but still).

Summary:

Sixteen-year-old Starr Carter moves between two worlds: the poor neighborhood where she lives and the fancy suburban prep school she attends. The uneasy balance between these worlds is shattered when Starr witnesses the fatal shooting of her childhood best friend Khalil at the hands of a police officer. via: https://socialjusticebooks.org/the-hate-u-give/#:~:text=Sixteen%2Dyear%2Dold%20Starr%20Carter,hands%20of%20a%20police%20officer.

Quotes:

“Sometimes you can do everything right and things will still go wrong. The key is to never stop doing right.” - Lisa

“Daddy once told me there’s a rage passed down to every black man from his ancestors, born the moment they couldn’t stop the slave masters from hurting their families. Daddy also said there’s nothing more dangerous than when that rage is activated.” - Starr

“Everybody wants to talk about how Khalil died,” I say. “But this isn’t about how Khalil died. It’s about the fact that he lived. His life mattered. Khalil lived!” I look at the cops again. “You hear me? Khalil lived!” - Starr

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museumofinefarts · 3 years

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Worst to best Star Wars Movie

IMHO

Rise of the Skywalkers

I refuse to see it. When you have written yourself so much in a corner that your only way forward is bringing back old nemesis and invalidating the end of the original trilogy - maybe quit your writing job.

Phantom Menace

Yeah yeah, beating the dead horse. But honestly, it is bad. The stakes are trivial at best, the big bad Darth Maul has zero buildup or backstory before he gets killed of, but we got 20 min pod racing instead, Jar Jar Bings, Darth Vader built C3P0, midichlorians...this movie is a mess.

The Last Jedi

All of the big set pieces are recycled. Fighting on a white planet against First Order troops? That was Empire. Battle in the throne room while the rebel fleet gets blown to pieces? Return of the Jedi. Then there is the Guardians of the Galaxy-style humor, that clashes with everything. Smoke dies without any fanfare (come to think of it, in the same way as Darth Maul does - cut at the waist). And my pet peeve is the hyperdrive-attack of general McPinkhair. If you can build a weapon that devastating with just using common technology - why does anybody need a death star? Just strap some hyperdrive engines on a rock and save the imperial taxpayer trillions of credits. But I will point out what I liked. I liked Leas use of the force. Kylo Ren continues to be my favorite bad guy. And I liked the casino planet, even though it felt like a fukkin side quest. Like when you are in a game in a burning castle and you get the mission to immediately get a bucket of water, so you stroll out of the fire, two towns over to the bucket maker, he says ‘yes, but first get me 10 ears of the earless trolls’ so you grind troll ears for an hour, maybe collect some rare crafting materials along the way, all the time your original quest giver is standing in their burning castle waiting patiently on your return.

What was I talking about again?

The Force Awakens

The Characters felt so fresh. A humanized Stormtrooper, mystery, Kylo Ren. But yeah, the plot is almost a carbon copy of A New Hope, just BIGGER death star this time.

And let me tell you how much I love Kilo Ren. That angsty, incel edge lord bitch, trying so hard to be like grandpa Vader. Trowing temper tantrums and having a rage problem. Truly, a villain for the 21st century.

Attack of the Clones

While the sequels got worse with every installment, the prequels actually got better. Attack has still the romance between Anakin and Padme, worked in smooth like a barrel of gravel. But it gets better. And the Memes are great.

Revenge of the Sith

Still has a bad case of ‘remember this?’. There was no need for Chewbacca to make an appearance. Bloated at places. But overall it is the best of the prequels and still entertaining to watch today.

A New Hope

It looks its age now. That movie will turn 45 soon and you can tell. Still, the prequels somehow look more dated. Actually, this movie is brought down for me by being constantly ripped of by later Star Wars content.

Return of the Jedi

A great, satisfying end to the original trilogy. Slave Lea might have awoken my sexuality (dont @ me).

The Empire strikes Back

Maybe the Star Wars movie that added the most new content? Only movie to never set foot on Tatooine or another desert planet. I would love to see more of the cloud city, actually.

Solo

I...did not expect to love this movie that much? An incredible interesting backstory for Han, Chewie and the Millennium Falcon. Seriously, for a movie that establishes a backstory, most of the ‘member this? member this?’ is pretty subdued. If this was shot in the prequel-era they would have revealed that Chewbacca actually build R2D2 or was Uncle Owens weed man or whatever. Loved Lando, loved a new villainous organization and loved the sequel-hook/big reveal at the end. I am a bit sad that it will probably never get a sequel.

Rouge One

It is great. The mood, an explanation for Hopes big thingamajig, morally gray characters. A true sense of the Empires jackboot over the galaxy. A villain that is not a scheming mastermind but a bureaucrat of evil. The tragic ending. This is a great movie.

#Star Wars #prequel era #sequel trilogy #rouge one #angry opinions about star wars I bet no one ever thought of doing this

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aion-rsa · 3 years

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Star Wars: 12 Snoke Facts You Might Not Know

https://ift.tt/2Tc5xc4

Set up in the first half of the Sequel Trilogy as a powerful new Star Wars villain, Supreme Leader Snoke of the First Order turned out to be something else entirely. Despite fulfilling the role of Emperor Palpatine in The Force Awakens, he’s completely off the table by the end of The Last Jedi. And in The Rise of Skywalker, the galaxy is only big enough for one galaxy-conquering villain as Kylo Ren’s fall shows.

By the end of the trilogy, Snoke is revealed to have been a bio-engineered villain all along, Force-puppeted tool Emperor Palpatine used to regain his grip on the galaxy while hiding his weakened physical form on the Sith planet of Exegol. His triumphs no longer truly his own, Snoke’s ultimate legacy is the rise of Kylo Ren as well as legendary motion capture actor Andy Serkis’ performance.

As we look back at Snoke’s short tenure as the big bad of Star Wars, here are some facts you might not know about Supreme Leader Snoke:

1. Snoke Was a Strand-Cast Created by Palpatine

Emperor Palpatine created Snoke to be his proxy through which he could regain his power. Although Snoke was bio-engineered in a lab on Exegol, he was a strand-cast, not a clone. This bit of Star Wars jargon means Snoke isn’t an exact copy of anyone, but isn’t natural-born either. We’ve heard the term “strand-cast” before. In The Mandalorian, Kuill speculates that Grogu might be a strand-cast — a speculation which turned out to be wrong when Ahsoka revealed Grogu grew up in the Jedi Temple.

Palpatine’s ultimate plan was to use Snoke as his voice to whisper in Kylo Ren’s ear. It was one of several ways he was working behind the scenes all along to build the First Order — itself just a shell for the new Empire being built on Exegol. With his own clone body decrepit but his spirit still strong in the Force, Palpatine could possess other people but was looking for a permanent new vessel.

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Snoke was likely born from these experiments but was too imperfect a vessel to house Palpatine’s spirit. There were other candidates, like the strand-cast who became Rey’s father. But since the process that created strand-casts could not reliably replicate Force-sensitivity, Palpatine’s “son” was not Force sensitive. It was another dead end. The Sith lord next turned his attention to Rey in The Rise of Skywalker.

This strand-cast/cloning storyline shares several plot points with the classic Dark Empire comic series, where Palpatine bided his time until he could come back in a younger, stronger clone body and re-create the Empire.

2. Snoke Wasn’t Aware of His Own History

Unlike Palpatine’s strand-cast “son,” Snoke didn’t know he was created in a lab by the Sith lord nor that he was being manipulated to rebuild the Emperor’s forces. In fact, despite being created some time after the Battle of Endor, he believed to have lived through the rise and fall of the Empire.

All of this is revealed in the novelization of The Force Awakens, in a twist that might actually have been a result of The Rise of Skywalker not having been written or planned out yet. But his status as a Sith sleeper agent fits with Palpatine’s plan, too. Snoke truly believing that he himself was really a dark Force user who had lived through the Galactic Civil War likely prevented Ben Solo/Kylo Ren from sensing the deception throughout his time as Snoke’s apprentice. Palpatine needed Snoke to believe the lies he told Kylo Ren so that he could more easily manipulate the fallen Skywalker.

3. Hugh Hefner and Snoke’s Injuries Informed How Serkis Played the Character

Andy Serkis rose to fame as the motion capture performer behind Gollum’s creepy mannerisms in The Lord of the Rings, quickly becoming well-known for injecting unique life and personality into monstrous characters. For Supreme Leader Snoke, Serkis drew from “the gold-lamé Hugh Hefner look,” the shining robe evoking the Playboy magazine founder. Serkis says he and The Last Jedi director Rian Johnson also considered drawing inspiration from “so many different dictators,” but settled on the uncanny Hefner idea.

Snoke’s visual appearance was still being finalized when Serkis joined J.J. Abrams to work on the character for The Force Awakens. Therefore, the actor developed his ideas about the character at the same time as the artists were developing theirs. In The Last Jedi, Snoke finally appeared in the flesh as opposed to as a hologram, allowing Serkis to draw even more from the villain’s grotesque physical appearance.

Serkis says he imagined Snoke’s deep scars were the source of some of his anger. “He’s terribly powerful, of course. But he is also a very vulnerable and wounded character,” Serkis told EW (via io9). “He has suffered and he has suffered injury. The way that his malevolence comes out is in reaction to that. His hatred of the Resistance is fueled by what’s happened to him personally.”

4. His Look Was Based on Classic Horror Movies

According to the book The Art of The Force Awakens, “J.J. [Abrams] and [creature effects supervisor] Neal [Scanlan] didn’t want him to be old and decrepit, like the Emperor,” said senior sculptor Ivan Manzella, who sculpted a maquette of an elderly, bald face for Snoke. Early ideas made the difference even clearer by making Snoke a female character.

The final result did look a lot like Palpatine, though: a hunched old man with a face distorted by deep wrinkles and scars. Manzella, who also made the final sculpt, says that Abrams wanted his look to evoke Hammer Films horror movies (such as classic takes on Frankenstein and Dracula). In particular Peter Cushing, who played Victor Frankeinstein and Abraham Van Helsing in several Hammer movies, was a direct inspiration.

Manzella also added what he felt was a sense of beauty to the character: “I imagined him to be a beautiful marble sculpture, so dark and menacing, but actually quite beautiful to look at … It’s almost like Snoke was quite handsome when he was younger.”

The Frankenstein comparison is especially apt since Palpatine and his Sith cultists built Snoke themselves.

5. Snoke Is Not a Sith Lord

You may have noticed that Snoke does not have the “Darth” title like the Dark Lords of the Sith do. He was never given one because he isn’t technically a Sith Lord. But the fact that he’s a bio-engineered being created by Palpatine explains why his training of Kylo Ren followed the Sith mold so closely, since all along Palpatine was trying to manipulate Ren.

During the time of The Force Awakens, many fans theorized that the next film would reveal Snoke to be Darth Plagueis, the Sith master who taught Palpatine the ways of the dark side. Plagueis was interested in extending one’s lifespan through the use of the dark side, so an old man with mysterious origins could very well have been him. This theory didn’t pan out.

6. Rian Johnson Felt Snoke’s Presence Distracted From Rey and Kylo Ren’s Stories

The fan theories didn’t line up with what The Last Jedi director Rian Johnson had in mind for moving the Sequel Trilogy cast into the future. In a conversation with EW (via Collider) Johnson explained his reasoning for knocking Snoke off the Sequel Trilogy’s chessboard.

“When I was working on the character of Kylo, I came to a place where I thought the most interesting thing would be to knock the shaky foundation out from under him at the beginning of this movie…By the end of this film, he’s gone from being a wannabe Vader to someone who is standing on his own feet as a complex villain taking the reins.”

But if Kylo took the reins, where would this leave Snoke?

“That made me realize the most interesting thing would be to eliminate that dynamic between the ‘emperor’ and pupil, so that all bets are off going into the next one. That also led to the possibility of this dramatic turn in the middle, which could also be a really powerful connection point between Kylo and Rey.”

Instead of focusing on Snoke’s history, Johnson found Kylo Ren’s ongoing story more relevant and felt killing Snoke was necessary to push his former apprentice’s arc forward.

7. Snoke Chose Ben Solo Because of His Skywalker Blood

Speaking of the Sith, Snoke may not be one, but he is interested in the lineage of one of the strongest Sith of all time. He chose to corrupt Ben Solo specifically because he was the grandson of Darth Vader. Luke Skywalker and Leia Organa were perhaps too ingrained in the light side and too dedicated to the cause of the New Republic for Snoke to manipulate them, but the mercurial and directionless Solo was the perfect target. Using Ben’s obsession with Darth Vader to turn him further to the dark side was a relatively easy task for Snoke.

In the comic series The Rise of Kylo Ren, we learned how Snoke began reaching out to Ben from an early age– and another comic, Age of Resistance: Supreme Leader Snoke, also fills in some of Snoke and Ben’s history. Before the events of The Force Awakens, Snoke spent a lot of time planting seeds of distrust between Ben and his uncle and teacher Luke Skywalker from afar, all while biding his time on a space station with an expansive garden, where Ben flees for guidance after the destruction of the Jedi academy.

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Some time after this, Snoke took Kylo Ren to the Force cave on Dagobah from The Empire Strikes Back to experience a vision. There, Kylo kills an illusory Luke, but stops short of killing his parents. But Snoke encourages him to use his anger, fear, and other emotions associated with the dark side to complete his training.

The visual dictionary for The Rise of Skywalker shows how deep Palpatine’s plan went. It says Palpatine intended killing Snoke to be the mark of Kylo Ren’s full descent into the dark side and rise into Sith-hood. Snoke’s death was in a way a symbolic killing of a Sith master — it’s traditional for the apprentice to kill the Master — while Palpatine himself remained alive and well to take over as Kylo’s new master. A final, decisive victory over the Skywalker bloodline.

8. Snoke Trained At Least One Other Apprentice Before Kylo Ren

According to the The Force Awakens Visual Dictionary, Snoke canonically trained someone else before Ben. Little is known about this mystery apprentice. We don’t know the person’s name, when this took place, or how it connects to Palpatine’s overarching plans. The existence of this apprentice is implied by Snoke’s description of Kylo Ren as his most gifted apprentice, suggesting there must have been someone else to compare him to.

In the Age of Resistance comic, Snoke also mentions that he plans to have more apprentices after Kylo Ren is gone. But Ren cuts that plan short in The Last Jedi.

9. Snoke Had At Least One Earlier Run-In With Luke

The facial scarring and collapsed cheek Serkis talked about might have been created by Luke Skywalker. In The Rise of Kylo Ren, Ben Solo alludes to “what Master Luke did to you.” But Snoke is more interested in Ben’s conflict with Luke.

What happened between Snoke and Luke is still unknown. It’s possible that whatever confrontation led to Snoke’s scars was also the first time Ben met Snoke.

10. Snoke Played a Key Role in the Empire’s Transformation into The First Order

Since Palpatine had to hide his weak clone body from everyone except his secret Sith acolytes, he placed Snoke in charge of the day-to-day growth of the First Order. Through his own lackeys, General Hux and Captain Phasma, Snoke spearheaded the new stormtrooper program that captured and indoctrinated children, building a military force powerful enough to go against the New Republic. And behind the veil of the Unknown Regions, an uncharted sector of the galaxy where the New Republic held no dominion, Snoke helped reorganize what was left of the Empire into the First Order, eventually becoming its Supreme Leader.

Snoke’s Attendants, the purple-robed aliens seen briefly in The Last Jedi, are also part of this initiative. They are the ones who helped the Imperial remnant settle in the Unknown Regions, using their abilities to blaze hyperspace trails that made First Order conquest much more efficient.

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11. Snoke’s Flagship, The Supremacy, Is the Only Ship of Its Kind

Snoke’s flagship was ripped in half by “the Holdo maneuver” in The Last Jedi, a strong blow by the beleaguered Resistance. Along with being the site of Snoke’s throne room, the Supremacy also contained enough factories to produce entire fleets for the First Order.

In fact, it was the base of operations for the entire First Order, which did not have a capital planet but instead maintained their military superiority from space. Technically, the Supremacy was a Mega-class Star Destroyer and the only one of its kind ever made.

12. Snoke’s Ring Contains a Relic From Darth Vader’s Castle

Snoke was a collector of Sith relics and secrets, traveling around the galaxy in search of knowledge, settling on his Force philosophy, and collecting things before he recruited Ben. It’s unclear how much of this Sith pilgrimage really happened versus the memories implanted by Palpatine, but it does appear that Snoke did actually discover the lost concept of a Force dyad, which he used to bring Rey and Kylo together.

He also discovered many dark side artifacts. One detail that’s easy to overlook in The Last Jedi is Snoke’s ring. The gaudy gold ring contains a hunk of black crystal. The Last Jedi Visual Dictionary defines this as obsidian from the catacombs beneath Darth Vader’s fortress on Mustafar. The ring also features “gold etched with glyph of the Dwartii.” In both canon and Legends, Dwartii is a planet which is home to several different schools of philosophers.

The post Star Wars: 12 Snoke Facts You Might Not Know appeared first on Den of Geek.

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grigori77 · 4 years

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2019 In TV - My Top 10 Shows

This past year may have sucked balls in a lot of ways, but we certainly never got short-changed when it came to our TV. There was an absolute WEALTH of truly cracking TV around, both on regular networks and on the various on-demand platforms, and so here is my pick of the best, my absolute favourites of 2019.

10. WATCHMEN

Lost co-creator Damon Lindelof brings us a blinding sequel to comic book legend Alan Moore’s legendary graphic novel with a delightfully trippy, ruthlessly efficient rug-puller that seems pretty tailor-made for HBO. Old faces return in interesting ways, while there are some cracking new “masks” on offer, particularly Regina King’s Sister Night and the always-brilliant Tim Blake Nelson as morally complex antihero Looking Glass (in some ways very much the show’s own answer to Rorschach). It never goes where you expect it to go, and refuses to give easy answers to the questions it raises, effortlessly paving the way for more next year ...

9. THE BOYS

Amazon offers up its own edgy, thoroughly adult superhero property with this darkly funny antiheroic gem based on the cult Garth Ennis comic, expertly adapted by Supernatural creator Eric Kripke. Karl Urban dominates as Billy Butcher, the foul-mouthed, morally bankrupt “leader” of a makeshift crew of mercenaries, hitmen and psycho killers devoted to “taking care of” superheroes when they inevitably go bad. Season 1 ultimately serves as an origin story, showing how the team come together, laying quality groundwork for the incoming sophomore tour that promises to open the already fascinating world out significantly.

8. PREACHER (SEASON 4)

More Garth Ennis, namely this blinder of a closing season for AMC’s consistently impressive adaptation of his best known series for Vertigo comics. Surprisingly epic, deliciously subversive and constantly, darkly hilarious, this thoroughly non-PC series from showrunners Sam Catlin, Evan Goldberg and Seth Rogen (yes! I Know!) certainly went out on a high note, providing its loyal followers with perfectly-pitched bow-outs and sometimes heartbreaking goodbyes for all its players, especially its dynamite leads, Dominic Cooper, Ruth Negga and, in particular, Joe Gilgun as unapologetic bad boy vampire Cassidy. A worthy end to one of my all-time favourite TV shows.

7. THE WITCHER

While it’s clearly taken its look from the wildly successful video games, Netflix’s second most ambitious long-form offering of the year takes its lead from the fantasy book series by Polish author Andrzej Sapkowski that started it all. With its somewhat episodic set-up and decidedly twisted narrative timelines, it take a few chapters to get the hang of it, but there’s plenty to draw you in, from the exotic world-building to the frenetic action and compelling collection of richly crafted characters. Henry Cavill is the titular hero, lovably grouchy mutant monster-hunter Geralt of Rivia, but the real scene-stealer is co-star Anya Chalotra as roguishly self-serving mage Yennefer of Vengenberg.

6. CARNIVAL ROW

One of the year’s two big sleeper hit TV surprises for me was this inventively offbeat allegorical Amazon fantasy series from The 4400 creator René Echevarria and screenwriter Travis Beacham. Orlando Bloom and Cara Delevigne are the star-crossed lovers at the heart of this intriguingly dark and dirty murder mystery thriller set in Victorian London-esque city-state the Burgue, in which humans struggle to co-exist alongside a struggling disenfranchised underclass of fae (fairies, fawns, centaurs and the like). The racial turmoil undertones are writ large throughout, but this is far more well-written and lavishly appointed than you might expect on first glance, and almost ridiculously addictive viewing.

5. LOVE, DEATH + ROBOTS

My other big TV surprise was this wonderfully bizarre sci-fi anthology series of animated shorts from Netflix, mostly adapted from an eclectic selection of short stories from a wide range of top-notch literary talent including Peter F. Hamilton, John Scalzi, Marko Kloos and Alastair Reynolds (a particular favourite of mine). As you’d expect from the brainchild of Deadpool director Tim Miller and producer David Fincher, this is edgy, leftfield stuff, frequently ultra-violent and decidedly adult, and the wildly varied nature of the material on offer makes for a decidedly uneven tone, but there are some absolute gems on offer here, my favourite being Suits, an enjoyably simple tale of salt-of-the-earth farmers on an alien world utilising clunky mech suits to protect their settlement from rampaging giant xeno-bugs.

4. THE DARK CRYSTAL: AGE OF RESISTANCE

The show with the biggest cinematic wow factor in 2019 had to be this long-awaited prequel series to Jim Henson’s classic fantasy movie masterpiece, created for Netflix by, of all people, Louis Leterrier (yes, the director of The Transporter, Now You See Me and Clash of the Titans, if you can believe it). The technology may have evolved in leaps and bounds, but there’s a wonderfully old school vibe in the delightfully physical puppet effects used to bring the fantastical world of Thra and its denizens to life, so that it truly does feel like it’s based in the same world as the film. This was EASILY the most visually arresting show of 2019, packed with exquisite character, creature and set design that perfectly complements the awesome work done by Henson and Brian Froud on the original, while the writers have created a darkly rich narrative tapestry that makes Thra seem a more dangerous place than ever.

3. THE UMBRELLA ACADEMY

I was a HUGE fan of My Chemical Romance frontman Gerard Way’s magnificently oddball alternative superhero comic, so when I learned that Netflix were adapting it I was a little wary because I knew how spectacularly hard it would be for ANY showrunners to get right. Thankfully Steve Blackman (Fargo season 2) and Jeremy Slater (The Exorcist TV series) were the right choice, because this perfectly captured the outsider nature of the characters and their endearingly dysfunctional family dynamic. Ellen Page, Tom Hopper (Black Sails, Merlin), David Castañeda and Emmy Raver-Lampman are all excellent as the more “functional” Hargreeves siblings, but the show is roundly stolen by Misfits star Robert Sheehan and Nicky, Ricky, Dicky & Dawn’s Aidan Gallagher as nihilistic clairvoyant Klaus and the old-man-in-a-child’s-body sociopath known only as Number Five. Consistently surprising and brilliantly bonkers, this was definitely the year’s most wonderfully WEIRD show.

2. STRANGER THINGS (SEASON 3)

Writer-director duo the Duffer Brothers’ ultra-nostalgic 80s-set coming-of-age sci-fi horror series remains the undisputed jewel in Netflix’s long-form crown with this consistently top-drawer third season expertly maintaining the blockbuster-level standards we’ve come to expect. This year the cross-dimensional shenanigans have largely been jettisoned, replaced by a gleefully nasty through-line of icky body horror that would make major influences like David Cronenberg and Stuart Gordon proud, as perennial teenage bad boy Billy Hargrove (the fantastically menacing Dacre Montgomery) becomes the leader of an army of psychic slaves under the control of the Upside Down’s monstrous Mind Flayer. The kids are all brilliant as always, Winona Ryder and David Harbour really get to build on their strong-yet-spiky chemistry, and the show is almost effortlessly stolen by Joe Keery as one-time golden boy Steve Harrington and series-newcomer Maya Hawke as his nerdy new foil Robin Buckley, who were very nearly the cutest couple on TV in 2019. Another gold standard season for a true gold standard show.

1. GOOD OMENS

Sadly, legendary author Terry Pratchett died before he could see the adaptation of one of his most beloved novels (and one of my all-time literary favourites too) see the light of day, but at least his co-author Neil Gaiman was around to bring it to fruition with the aid of seasoned TV director David Mckinnon (Jekyll, Doctor Who, Sherlock), and the end result sure did him proud, perfectly capturing the deeply satirical voice and winningly anarchic, gleefully offbeat and gently subversive humour of the original novel. David Tennant and Michael Sheen could both have been born to play Crowley and Aziraphale, the angel and demon nominally charged with watching over the young Antichrist in preparation for his role in the End Times, even though they would both much rather the world just went on quite happily the way it is, thanks very much. This is about as perfect an adaptation as you can get, the six hour-long episodes giving the surprisingly complex story time to breathe and grow organically, and the result is the most fun I spent in front of my TV this year.

#best TV 2019 #watchmen #the boys #preacher #the witcher #carnival row #love death + robots #love death & robots #the dark crystal age of resistance #The Umbrella Academy #stranger things 3 #good omens

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snakeboistan · 4 years

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WHUMPTOBER DAY SIX: PLEASE

“Get it Out” I No More I “Stop Please”

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26911249/chapters/66190579

Pairing: Karmagisa

The rattling of raindrops pelting onto the dilapidated roof and broken down windows reverberated through the abandoned warehouse, mingling with the cacophony of moans emitted by the harsh gusts of wind. The air felt cold and chilly, but Karma was undeterred. Unlike the rest of his classmates who joined him on this rescue mission, he wasn’t taken aback by the appearance of the storehouse, with it’s rusted metal walls, crumbling floor and pieces of broken metal, glass and cardboard scattered around the floor, just waiting to cause harm. No, he had something far more important in mind to worry about the high pitched squeaking of rats and the dark splodges on the walls and ceilings of this ramshackle building that looked and smelled suspiciously like dried blood.

No, he had a goal in mind. A goal that was 159 cm tall and had the most beautiful blue eyes imaginable. A goal that he couldn’t bear to live without and had been missing from his side - where his rightful place was - for the past few hours. You see, earlier that afternoon, Shiota Nagisa - his boyfriend, his better half, his everything - wasn’t answering his texts, which, to anyone else, isn’t the biggest red flag but to Karma, it sent alarm bells ringing. Nagisa always answered his texts, always, unless of course he’s in the bathroom or his mum…

Well, anyway, that wasn’t the case because his mother had left a day ago for a business trip and wasn’t returning until a few days later but who cares when he still hadn’t replied to Karma after an hour, 50 texts, 20 calls and 10 voicemails later. So now Karma was jittery. He prided himself on being cool and calm in times of distress, in being able to think clearly and logically to come up with a plan - it was one of the things that Nagisa admired about him - but now, there he was, pounding furiously onto the wooden surface of Nagisa’s apartment door, not giving a damn about how loud he was being. His heart was racing and why wasn’t Nagisa answering dammit! His phone chimed and he looked down, hoping and praying that it was a text from the blunette with some sort of explanation or apology for scaring him. But all he saw was:

Unknown: Come to the E-Class building. It seems like a little blue haired boy has gotten a bit lost.

The rest of his classmates were in a frenzy when he had arrived; voices were raised, tears were shed, morbid conspiracy theories were flung around like they were pleasantries. But he had no use for them, he had no use for anything that didn’t give him an explanation. He stormed in through his classroom’s doors like a hurricane, ready to tear down anything and everything that stood in the way between him and Nagisa. His bloodlust was strong, palpable and whilst it wasn’t as overpowering as Nagisa’s, it was close and it stopped everyone in their tracks. He was wild, uncontrollable and was just about to punch something before Isogai’s grim figure handed him a piece of paper with coordinates on it, as well as a warning to not inform any of their teachers of this otherwise fate won’t be in their favour - a threat that seemed much more horrifying when written the few strands of baby blue that were taped onto the the sheet.

Perfect. He’ll show this sucker just who they were messing with and make them pay. With their blood.

…..

“Holy shit,” Maehara breathed, circling the walls in front of them with his flashlight, “this place is like a labyrinth.”

Isogai surveyed the many passages in front of them, his role as the class’ leader driving him to say, “We should split up.”

“Split up!?” Okajima whisper-yelled, his hands on his head, that was shaking wildly, “Are you crazy?! That’s exactly what happens in horror movies before people die!”

“What choice do we have?” the class representative argued, “there are too many options for us all to go at once and since this building is so off the grid not even Ritsu can give us blueprints. If we want to find Nagisa, splitting up is our best bet.”

“I suppose you’re right,” Kimura gulped as he heard a high pitched wail followed by the clamour of lightning and thunder, that for a split-second cast an eerie light onto the desolate building that they were in, “doesn’t make it less scary.”

“Well you guys can go on ahead,” Karma said as he walked towards one of the corridors, “I’m going by myself.”

“Karma-” Kayano started, only to be interrupted.

“Nagisa’s been kidnapped,” Karma’s voice was terse, “the last thing I need is you idiots slowing me down.”

“Hey,” Sugino said, eyebrows furrowed, “I get that you guys are dating but Nagisa is my best friend too. All of us are worried for him so it’s best if we work together to-”

“I mean it,” Karma snapped, pointing his knife threateningly at the crowd of his classmates, “I’m going by myself and if any of you stop me…”

Everyone shivered, and it wasn’t because of the biting cold.

“Just keep your comm-link on,” Isogai instructed, “so that we can all give each other updates.”

Karma nodded briskly and turned on his heel

…….

Karma continued walking, his government-given sneakers squelching on the puddles of murky water caused by the dripping leaks from the roof. He knew he was getting closer to the petite blunette, he could feel it. That magnetic force that always pulled him towards the shorter boy was what strung him along, acting as his own personal compass. However, despite his confidence in his path, when he found himself standing at the entrance of another empty room, he groaned and cursed to himself. But then, he felt it - that sense of danger that he can almost always detect. Hackles raised, he entered, not even flinching when the door slammed shut behind him. Ahh, so he’s getting close. If there’s one thing that he’s learned from playing video games is that when he’s getting near to the enemies he’s going the right way (“You can’t just say that every time you pick a fight, Karma,” Nagisa had said dryly).

“Well, well, well,” a menacing voice boomed out from the shadows, “what do we have here. Has the little boy come back to Daddy?”

Karma’s eyes widened.

That voice.

The sound of a switching flicking was what he heard before the single, dimly lit overhead lightbulb fizzed to life, flickering hazy yellow onto the murky grey walls and floor and revealing the owner of the other person in the room and his suspicions were proven correct. That burly build, flattened dark hair and deranged countenance.

“YOU!” Karma yelled, taking a threatening step forward.

Takaoka laughed, “Oh hello there, what seems to bring you here. Did you miss Daddy?”

“Where’s Nagisa,” he snarled, doing his best to push down the desire of stabbing this guy in the chest. He couldn’t kill him - no matter how good this bastard would look with the light in his eyes dimmed, with his own hands covered in the blood of the monster that took away the only good and pure thing he had in his lonely and cold life - after all, as much as he’d hate to admit it, Takaoka was the only one who knew where Nagisa was. Then, once he had his little blueberry in his arms, he’d make the man beg for mercy that he’d never give.

“Who?” Takaoka asked, his head tilted and voice lilted with faux innocence.

“You know who,” Karma’s temper was at optimum level and he couldn’t get rid of the red seeping around the edges of his vision if he tried.

“Oh you mean that little blue brat that defied me? He’s fine. More than fine actually.”

What the hell was that supposed to mean?!

Karma glared, face dark with rage, “If you hurt a single hair on his head-”

Takaoka laughed, eyes wild and manic, “Don’t worry you’re little head about him. Why would I hurt him when he’s so useful to me?”

Useful?

“What the f*ck are you on about?!” Karma yelled, “WHERE THE HELL IS HE?!”

“Patience, child,” the man cooed condescendingly, “you’ll find out soon enough. Oh the expression on your face is adorable. I can’t wait to see what you and your friends will look like when you all die.”

“You’re going to kill me?”

“No,” Takaoka smirked, “he is.”

Before he could blink, he felt his back slam hard against the wall, sending a sharp burst of pain up his spine. Thin fingers were wrapped around his throat, trapping him in place. He opened his eyes to get a look at his attacker only to feel an anvil drop in his stomach.

Lightning struck, illuminating Nagisa’s hard face, making it look stern, jagged and sharp around the edges, nothing like the sweet little angel that would smile and blush at the slightest hint of praise, nothing like the warm comforting gaze that would be directed to him as they walk together hand in hand. His eyes were glowing electric blue, tinted with uncharacteristically unnatural green near the circumference of his pupils.

“Na-Nagisa…” Karma breathed out, both in shock and due to the struggle he currently had in breathing.

“What,” Takaoka grinned as Nagisa tightened his grip, “was this not the reunion you were expecting? And to think he was so disobedient before. All it took was a few drops of a serum and now he’ll never go against me again.”

“What-what did you do to him?” Karma whispered, fear like no other swirling in his gut.

Takaoka’s face darkened, the facade of abnormal happiness washing off of him. He growled out, “your class took everything from me: my job, my titles, my reputation. Everything I loved, everything I worked for. You broke it, destroyed it with your own hands. So I decided to return the favour. You see Daddy knows what’s best for his children. And if destroying things is what you brats want then that’s what you’ll do. Starting with the one who thought it would be a good idea to go against me to begin with. Of course, I can’t kill you all by myself so I needed to get some help and this little rascal was the perfect guinea pig. You see why would I want to break you down myself when I can get one of your own to do it for me. Well, I’m going now. I hope you kids play nice.”

And with that Takaoka left, leaving the two of them alone in the abandoned room.

“Nagisa,” Karma choked out despite the fingers - the same fingers that would cup his cheek with all of the gentleness in the world - at his throat, “Nagisa, it’s me. Can’t you see me?”

‘He can’t hear you,’ Takaoka’s voice crooned in the back of his head.

He was losing oxygen so he had to act. Fast. With a grunt, he karate chopped the curve of Nagisa’s elbow, making the shorter boy loosen his grip so he used all the strength he could muster to push him away. However, all of his strength didn’t seem to be enough because Nagisa just pushed him back with full force, the impact of his head against the wall making black spots blossom in his vision. For a few seconds, the two of them were just shoving each other and Karma never felt so tired in his life. He always had the upper hand in a fight - even if he was against men double, triple his size. Months of street fights and self-taught weapon-handling would make it impossible for him to get so worn out so soon. If he were against anyone else, they’d already be knocked out.

But his opponent was Nagisa. Nagisa! Nagisa, who would always put others before himself, who would never deny someone a consoling ear or gentle hug, who reached out to a problem demon child like him with a smile despite the darkness he carried and offered him a life of warm smiles and gentle touches that he definitely did not deserve, who he loved with every fibre of his being - and who was currently glaring at him with hatred that he didn’t even know the other possessed. He can’t fight him. He can’t.

“Nagisa, please,” Karma begged, not caring that his voice was starting to crack, “snap out of it.”

Nagisa growled, the noise deep and feral and nothing at all like the pacifist he knew, as he gave Karma another hard shove. Karma retaliated by wrapping an arm around Nagisa’s neck, sending a knee in between Nagisa’s legs and pushing himself up so that he can wrap his legs around the other’s neck in a choke-hold, twisting his body so that the two of them were sent sprawling to the floor. Karma quickly got up but was then hindered by a sting of pain bursting along his calf. Gritting his teeth he looked down to see blood seeping out of a large cut on his lower leg before quickly dodging Nagisa’s knife-wielding (where the hell did he get a knife from?!) fist. Nagisa surged forward again but Karma let his instincts take over, using his arm to block his attack.

“Nagisa, come on, this isn’t you.”

The knife grazed his face, gashing a line of scarlet against his cheek.

“You’re not violent.”

He sent a punch to Nagisa’s face. It made the cracks in his heart grow.

“You’re not aggressive.”

He held onto either side of Nagisa’s face, trying to look past those tinges of unnatural green so that he could dig deep into the other’s unconscious, searching for any hints of the boy he swore he would spend the rest of his life with. Eyes. ‘The windows to the soul’, Nagisa called them. Well, it seemed like someone decided to close the blinds because the blank look he got back showed nothing.

But still, “I love you, Nagisa. I love you. Stop this, please. I don’t want to fight you, Nagi.”

Nagisa’s reply to his cries was a sharp thrust of his head, colliding his crown with Karma’s nose, sending him staggering backwards. Before he could even gather his bearings, the blunette jumped and kicked him with a spin, firing him to the floor yet again. His face burned, both from the grazes and from the stinging of his still tearing eyes. God, he felt useless. He’s the highest ranker in combat - why the hell was he still fighting a battle he could’ve won ages ago.

Wait a minute. Why was he still fighting?

Nagisa wasn’t a fighter. It’s no secret that he wasn’t the best at close combat (the amount of times he would find himself as the loser during sparring practice was more than enough evidence). His skill in assassination was suprise attacks. To come out of nowhere and then disappear into thin air like he was never there to begin with. If Nagisa was really trying to kill him, he would’ve just used his knife to slit his throat or stab him in the chest or something within the first few seconds. The fact that he chose to draw it out instead of using that speed that even managed to let him get the drop on Karasuma-Sensei - that meant that -

He was holding back. He was fighting it.

Karma felt like crying again. Even when he was under mind control, even when he was reduced into nothing but a killing machine, a soldier with no conscious thought and only had murder on his mind - he still didn’t want to kill Karma.

God, he really f**king loved his little blueberry. And he sure as hell isn’t going to lose him to some stupid brainwashing serum. He knew what he had to do.

Karma dashed forward and…

He felt Nagisa freeze when he wrapped the other in a warm embrace. In the corner of his eye he could see the shorter teen’s hand clenching on the knife but that didn’t stop him from burying his face into the other’s shoulder. He murmured, ignoring Nagisa squirming in an attempt to get out of his hold, “Please come back to me, I’m begging you. I love you Nagisa and I know you love me too. You’re stronger than this, I know you are - you’re one of the strongest people I know. I might be the one that gets higher grades but you, you’re the one that always knows what to do when it comes to people, who knows exactly what to say and how to say it. I can’t do this Nagisa please, I can’t.”

Nagisa had somehow managed to free an arm, raising it so that he had the point of his knife aimed at Karma’s back. Karma closed his eyes, waiting for the blow to strike only-

He heard the clattering of something metal hitting the floor. He felt small hands press tenderly against his bruised back. He pulled back to look down at an adorably confused face (still so beautiful despite the scrapes and bruises littering here and there), sky blue eyes looking at him with bewilderment.

“Karma? What’s going on?”

#assassination classroom #my writing

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chipthekeeper · 3 years

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chip grades the star wars

by representation of women

Time for more unasked for and only mildly thought through opinions by me. Usually I rate with numbers but for whatever reason this one was easier to do by letter grades (American-style, sorry). I’ve been known to forget important shit so I reserve the right to totally change my mind once I remember or am reminded. Okay, worst to best with the women I can name/remember and not-so-brief explanations:

Resistance: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I wish I’d kept watching this both times I’ve started. Seems like there’s some good women in it. But unfortunately still a male lead. Bleh.

Revenge of the Sith: D-

Crying Padme…………….Beru cameo….dead Jedi… -- This one is ROUGH. If I didn’t love the movie it would be an F. There’s literally one woman who appears for more than like 10 seconds and she gets murdered by her husband. Not a great look.

Attack of the Clones: D

Padme, dying Shmi, uhhh...Jocosta Nu…? -- Maybe could have been C level if they hadn’t made poor Padme look so insane in falling for Anakin AFTER he rants about slaughtering a bunch of innocent people for no reason.

Empire Strikes Back: C-

Leia…..randos in background -- If it was made today, Lando’d be a chick. Lando’d be Sana Starros. I wanna see that movie. Holy shit I wanna see that movie.

The Phantom Menace: C

Shmi, Padme, not-Padme, Yaddle? -- Really running the gamut in this one. We’ve got “everything” from Slave Virgin Mary to badass queen but also is-that-even-the-queen-or-is-it-just-her-decoy. If it was made today there’d be at least 2 lady pod racers so ahem, Lucasfilm get on it.

A New Hope: C

Leia, Aunt Beru -- I was very tempted to rate all the OT ones higher just because of how fucking wonderful Leia is and to be fair she is of course the best female character of the time in this type of movie. But…..come the fuck on. TWO women in a whole movie and one of them wasn’t allowed to wear underwear and the other gets literally roasted to a crisp??? Do better, George.

Return of the Jedi: C

Leia, Mon Mothma…..Jabba’s dancing girls? -- Same shit, different flick.

The Rise of Skywalker: B-

Rey, Leia, Jannah, Maz a little, Rose I guess, Jodie Comer, etc. -- Kinda don’t know what to say about all this. I had B+ at first but I feel like there was a lot of wasted potential. Outside of Rey (and Leia stuff I can’t talk about without losing it) there’s not much to look at here.

Rogue One: B-

Jyn, Lyra, Mon Mothma, Leia cameo, lady pilots!! -- Gonna get up on my soapbox and say that Mon Mothma is one of the most underrated Star Wars characters. I’d talk about Jyn and Lyra but then I might start cr--nope, I’m already crying.

Solo: B

Qi’ra, Val, L3-37 (absolutely counts), Enfys -- I absolutely LOVE every woman in this movie. Would be an A if half the big ones didn’t die :/

The Clone Wars: B

Ahsoka, Padme, Satine, Bo-Katan, various Jedi -- Had this at a C+ before I remembered there were more centrally recurring people than Ahsoka and Padme, BUT. One dies, one’s a part-time terrorist, and the others are just plug and play. Kinda still want to go B- but Ahsoka’s really carrying this shit across the finish line.

Rebels: B+

Hera, Sabine, Governor Pryce, Ketsu, Leia cameo -- I would die and kill for both Hera and Sabine. If and when they come to live action I will cease to exist.

The Force Awakens: A-

Rey, Leia, Maz, Phasma, various rebels -- It’s never not going to give me a chill to watch Rey pilot the Falcon or call the lightsaber to her past [redacted]. Never. I feel bad for every fanboy who hated it. They’re really missing out.

The Last Jedi: A

Rey, Leia, Maz, Phasma, Rose, Holdo, various rebels -- Physically pains me to give this such a strong grade when one of the things I loathe about this movie is the Rey + [redacted] stuff but I’m big enough to say it does a great job with basically everyone else. Except Phasma. Fuck you for that one, Rian. (also someone ask me about Holdo, I need to talk about her more than this)

The Mandalorian: A

Cara, Omera, Pelli, Fennec, Xi’an, Frog Lady, Bo-Katan, Koska, Ahsoka -- I mean holy shit. So many (hot) women. So many different kinds of women! This is the bar. Oh, if only one of them could be a real full-time character and not written off the show because she’s played by a trash person :(((((( (also, like,,,fucking name Frog Lady pls. Misty Rosas deserves that)

Bonus grade for canon SW books/comics: A+ -- Doctor Aphra, Sana Starros, Rae Sloane, Norra Wexley, Alphabet Squadron gals, Avar Kriss & other High Republic ladies, so many more -- On the whole, this is actually the standard. So many of these things have female leads and there’s absolutely no reason not to do that more on the big screen. I have no idea what some of my favorite Star Wars women are supposed to look like because they’re just stuck in books. Which is a great medium, don’t get me wrong. But they deserve more!!

#maybe this was just an exercise in making myself say good things about the sequels #idk #i need like...a real blog #star wars #rebels #clone wars #the mandalorian #star wars opinions #please talk back to me about this crap #my posts

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houseplant-central · 3 years

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Padme Amidala part one; why did the madonna/whore complex give this woman sharpshooting skills?

This is going to be part one of a two part post about the star wars prequel films (sorry in advance about that), specifically Padme and her role as the only important female character in the 90s triliogy. This post will talk about the first two films, and the next post will talk about the third and final film. Keep in mind that I did not see the prequel films until I was an adult (which is kind of weird, since the prequels have a lot more kid oriented jokes (from C3PO getting assembled wrong on the assembly line in film two and making a series of bad puns to everything about jar jar binks (which, as a side note, YIKES we dont stan racist comedy here, but the "humor" with him was clearly directed at kids)). That being said I think the three films over all are a hilarious product of the 90s and I'm not trying to start discourse about wether they're objectively good or bad-- they are both, and that's okay. What I'm interested in is Padme. The "Madonna"/"Whore" dicotemy is a freudian idea. I don't neccisarily believe that it happens with all men in real life, and I certainly don't think we should excuse it in real life, but I DO think it is previlant in writing, and the way female characters are written (both presently and in the past). The madonna/whore dicotemy basically boils down to the idea that men view women either as "good" virtuous people (the madonna, a maternal figure and an eternal virgin) whom they love but could never sexualize, OR as sexually interesting companions (the whore), whome they desire but could never love. This of course, in the real world is a bullshit excuse for putting women into patriarical boxes based on their outwards apperance and if any man ever gives you "well now I genuinely care about you so I feel like I can't sexualize you" it's time to go because that sexualization inherently included violence if he's now worried about thinking like that around you. There is plenty of feminist literature written about this concept and I highly reccomend a look into it because it's fascinating (try starting with even just the abstract for this paper: https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2018-04940-001). However! What I'm here to talk about today is how writers unconciously use this dicotemy with their female characters, and why, specifically, when Padme gets graduated from Madonna to Whore in Attack of the Clones, she suddenly knows how to fight when she couldn't before. My aim is not to conclusively say why, because I've been analyzing these films for the past couple days and I still have no idea why, but rather just to bring the question up, and provide evidence, as it is a fascinating phenonmeon of the 90s that I feel many female characters got treated to (with Padme as a prime example). Lets talk about Phantom Menace and Attack of the Clones and the Madonna/ Whore. In Phantom Menace we're introduced to Padme (Natalie Portman) as an intellegent diplomat. When she's not done up in her planet's traditional leader's dress, she's in long sleeved simple dresses, tights and braids. She wears natural make up in her "maid disguise" for which she is in ninty percent of the film, and in the famously creepy "tucking in anakin" scene she is for some reason in the whole royal maid getup which includes gloves and covering her hair. Cultural modesty for the royal maids was written in to the worldbuilding, but it seems to have been done larely so that they could get away with having Natalie Portman play young Padme in this film and not be "sexy" until film two in which she is teenage Padme. Padme plays an extremely maternal role for Anakin in Phantom Menace, from physically protecting him to the aformentioned tuck in scene at 1:19:30 where she quite literally tucks him in for bed. This of course has been analyzed all to hell already as exceedingly WEIRD because the two eventually marry and have children together (so the freud analysis here is valid). We'll take a quick break for a digression here on Padme's age. I've refered to her in Phantom Menace as "young Padme", but realistically she is just Portman minus the makeup she's allowed to wear in later films. We know that she's the "child-ruler" of her nation, but she also realistically feels like she's in her early teens in Phantom Menace, and is certainly treated like an adult by her peers; we see her throughout the film making decisions on foriegn policy, wartime politics and wartime sacrifices. Anakin was most definietly a child in the first film, and was replaced by an adult actor in the subsequent films as his character aged, and this difference makes it feel like there's a very large and very weird age gap between the two characters. But fully back to the matter at hand, Padme is a very maternal, modest character in Phantom Menace both in apperance and in dialouge, and she clearly establishes that she views Anakin as a child. In Attack of the Clones, when the romance plotline starts, suddenly Padme is allowed to be sexy (by 90s standards anyways). She gets jewlery, she gets makeup, and she gets a whole lot more ARMS and shoulders showing that she was previously allowed (specifically see 44:30 when they travel back to Naboo). Of course this is to coincide with her growing up, but the fact of the matter is that Padme gets to be attractive when the script calls for Anakin to be attracted to her. There are still some traditional queenly outfits, but by the time they're ready to go rescue Obi Wan, she's in a skin tight white jumpsuit (which eventually, at 1:47:06, becomes a crop top when a monster somehow slices her back and makes her entire shirt cut in half). For the next 15 minutes we then see Natalie portman running around in a white crop top while fighting). We get such lines from Anakin as "I am in agony... if you are suffering as much as I am, please, tell me" and "we could keep it a secret" at 55:10 in a darkly lit room with Padme's weird black leather dress and gloves combo. (Yes, I know Padme tells Anakin she doesn't want a relationship with him in this scene, but the scene's whole function is to establish why society says they shouldn't be together, but why Anakin is attracted to her anyways, and for this Padme is presented to the viewer as an inherently sexual object which Anakin can't have which A) gross but B) fits into the whore achetype of characterization). In both physical presentation and characterization Padme flips to the other end of the dicotemy and Attack of the Clones now gives us Whore Padme. The other huge character change that happens at the same time for Padme is her ability to fight. In Phantom Menace she's primarily a diplomat; she has a few moments of sprinting around and brandishing a weapon, but she almost never uses it. In Attack of the Clones we get a direct quote from her at 1:36:00 that she's "not interested in getting into a war" and that she'll find a "diplomatic solution out of this mess". However she then proceeds to pick the lock to her shackles, pick up a gun she's never used before, and fight off not just monsters, but also hold her own with the literal jedi against the enroaching droids. The movie leads up to this scene in terms of their relationship, and when Padme admits to Anakin that she loves him too she is somehow also graced with the ability to fight. Again, I'm not really sure why; my best guess is that the other female love interests of the 90s were extremely capable women (ie. good at things like fighting and even fighting in crop tops), and that the capable women who was still romantically submissive was so dominant of an archtype it just bled into her charactization without any writer stopping to consider that she's never cannonically been trained to fight like the jedi characters and therefor should be way out of her depth in this battle. I'm all for female character who are physically strong and capable (obviously), but having her develop fighting skills as a side effect of wearing sexier outfits is very weird writing. Padme of course goes back to falling off things and needing saving during the climax of the film and indeed she'll do it again in film three, but for this moment of romantic tension finally resolved and Padme fulling moving from motherly figure to sexy love interest, she can suddenly fight. Food for thought and I'd love to hear any suggestions as to why you think it might be.

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hamliet · 4 years

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Hello! Have you seen TROS yet? [Spoiler alert] I was really devastated by the ending - coming out the theater feeling upset and disappointed. Do you have any thoughts on it? Or maybe any plan to write fix-it fic? Thank you!

I am seeing it tomorrow. That said, I’ve read the plot summary, and no good execution can save that. So I was planning on posting this after I watched it with amendments made as I hope to enjoy it, but I’ll just post it now and amend this as necessary based on the film as I see it. (I still believe I will enjoy the film, even if I don’t think it’s a good film. I do think that. I really do... I hope.)

BASED ON THE PLOT SUMMARIES ALONE (grains of salt everywhere!):

I think it’s technically… messy writing at best and downright bad writing in other parts.* 10/10 it’s a blockuster-y, JJ Abrams-esque, (hopefully) fun, messy narrative movie that will be forgotten in 0.3 seconds.

Disclaimer before everyone comes after me: if you like it, AWESOME. If you think it’s good writing, great! Good writing and bad writing are inherently subjective; that said, there are general consensuses among literary studies about what constitutes bad and good writing. Hence, I’m relying on those consensuses when I call it messily written.

Before we get into specifics, I’ll compare it to two other major pop culture endings: Game of Thrones and Avengers: Endgame.

TROS is similar to the GoT final season in that it attempts to incorporate every aspect of fan speculation ever. However, it’s more like Endgame in that it is still somewhat true to the themes and characters—but unfortunately also like Endgame, it is not transformative or particularly interesting as a story on its own. In fact, it’s rather boring and honestly… bad storytelling. It tries to rehash Return of the Jedi but it doesn’t succeed in any way because the world and the overall story has grown since the early 1980s, and so the same story doesn’t work anymore.

Showing a cyclical story remaining cyclical with no sign of that breaking–instead, the cycles are even reinforced–does not give optimism nor does it give hope.

Redemption=death needs to die already. If we really want to reach people and tell them that the message is that you can always make a better choice (as Daisy Ridley and JJ Abrams have said about Kylo’s arc), maybe don’t send the message in each and every story that you have to die to redeem yourself. Look outside of cultural secular Calvinism, for the love of God and the betterment of the world and stories as a whole.

Now let’s talk Rey’s parentage.

We know Rey Palpatine wasn’t planned from the beginning (Trevorrow, the original write/director of IX, who was thankfully fired, said that he never planned for Palpatine to return), which means Rey’s parentage was most likely retconned from TLJ and there was no real plan for the sequel trilogy’s overall character arcs (save for Kylo’s, according to the actors and writers).

Listen to me. You don’t have to have everything planned when you start a three-film saga, but you gotta know the major beats.

This is like a sad game of movie telephone.

Yes, I know the OT Star Wars didn’t have a plan either and it’s like one of the only examples I can think of where no plan worked out–albeit not without hiccups (Leia kissing Luke, anyone?) If you expect lightning to strike twice in the same place, I’m sorry, but you are hopelessly naive.

Having Rey decide she wants to carry on the name Skywalker at the end is lame as shit. It’s a way to appease fans while being like nah she still isn’t related. Trying to please every fan is a sure way to guarantee that you will please no one. It might make for a perfectly pleasant film experience (I really hope it does), but not good, lasting storytelling (though not like, horrific either). It’s meh. It’s like… giving someone who is starving oatmeal. It will get the job done but will it satisfy and enthrall people? Not quite.

And let’s switch gears for a minute to Finn and Rose, my first and third favorite characters in this trilogy (Kylo is second, Rey is fourth). The sidelining of Rose is nothing short of a terrible attempt to please the white-supremacist-aligned Fandom Menace. Let’s not pretend it’s anything else. JJ’s lipservice about how wonderful it was that Kelly was cast at SW Celebration is, in hindsight, absolutely nauseating.

Shame on JJ. Shame on Disney.

But the main problem I have with this film is this:

Why did it need to exist?

The answer is money. Obviously. I know, I know stories exist to make money. That doesn’t mean I can’t criticize the fact that the story was sacrificed on the unholy altar of capitalism and Disney’s desire to own our souls. (Disney–the reason I like your movies is that a lot of them are good stories. I’m not interested in pandering soooooo.)

The Rise of Skywalker does not enhance the Star Wars narrative. Nothing about this film satisfies the Skywalker Saga nor the sequel trilogy, and it kind of all comes down to Kylo Ren’s death being the nail that sunk the entire world of Star Wars.

Keep in mind Kylo is not my favorite character when I’m saying this. Finn is. But I never spoke about Finn as much because the story didn’t utilize him properly. I never had concerns about Finn getting a happy ending while I was worried for Rey and Kylo’s arcs. (Finn’s arc, however, did have a ton more potential than was capitalized on; in particular, he would have been better if he was more conflicted over say, shooting other stormtroopers. His whole character humanized the usual red shirts, which when paired with Rose’s everywoman character, had so much potential I could shriek about it all day. That he didn’t lead other brainwashed stormtroopers into rebellion and freedom saddens me. Also, his ending again seems to bring about a good victim/bad victim dichotomy when it is compared with Kylo’s. The reason these two are my faves is that they were brainwashed as kids which, well, I can kinda sorta heavily relate to.)

Kylo Ren and Rey’s relationship doesn’t really get much better than it did in The Last Jedi. It actually rehashes that arc significantly. We already knew Kylo would fight for Rey and the galaxy, so… how was this different? Now, if he had lived, it would have been different, because it was the after the fight that proved that Kylo wasn’t ready to redeem himself in The Last Jedi. It was Kylo’s choice to stay at the expense of Rey and the Resistance that was literally the set up for conflict in the next film. This… turned it into nothing? Their conflict is rehashed and then whoo-hoo! Easy way out! Kill him so that they don’t have to deal with the “after” this time! They never have to deal with the conflict literally set up in The Last Jedi.

That’s bad writing, fam.

Life is infinitely more interesting. Leaving the story open with a living Skywalker instead of killing literally everyone involved with the Skywalkers except Rey who now adopts that name is… so unsatisfying I can’t even. Even if later material shows him showing up as a Force Ghost, like: cool saw that with Vader so this… adds nothing to the existing films. It doesn’t really reconcile anything.

It also… does not help the Rey=Mary Sue argument. She is NOT a Mary Sue, and that is a sexist term itself, but in no way is it a satisfying ending to her arc, because it isn’t a well-written ending which means it isn’t a well-written arc. The problem with Rey’s ending is a mirror of my problem with Kylo’s ending: it’s the very much a combination of her ending in The Last Jedi and her life before The Force Awakens.

She and Kylo are now separated (permanently this time).

She’s has her Resistance friends.

She’s alone on a desert planet.

But wait! Now she’s now happy!

Uh, why? The only reason I can think of is that the narrative demands it. Because honestly, what changes? The family she chose–the Skywalkers–are just as dead as her Palpatine birth family, soooooo. I suppose she reconciled with her heritage and come to peace with it and so that’s why she’s happy now, but… I can’t lie. It’s not hopeful. It’s not optimistic. It’s not Star Wars and it isn’t consistent for the message (especially if this is supposed to be the ending to the saga!) to be both:

life sucks for the Skywalkers and then they die–seriously, look at Shmi, Anakin, Padmé, Leia, Luke, Han, Kylo–it is LITERALLY ALL OF THEM; and

deciding to be a Skywalker means you’re at peace.

I can only assume Rey’s life will suck and then she’ll die, tbh, unless of course she is better off because of her blood… which negates the point of her being a Skywalker and is a really gross idea.

YOU CAN’T HAVE BOTH IN YOUR ENDING. PICK ONE.

Rejecting the Skywalkers would be anti-Star Wars, for sure, but marrying into them as a way of bridging the unfinished pain between Anakin and Padmé and Leia and her father? Much better. Or just leave it open. Honestly, leave it open for Kylo and Rey to both be alive and see each other again.

But you’re just upset your ship didn’t get a happy ending!

No, I’m upset about the storytelling, of which shipping is a part. A canonical part just as much as the lightsaber fights are. Anakin and Padmé. Leia and Han. Finn and Rose. Poe and Zorii. Rey and Ben.

The Force created Anakin, remember? All films–even the spin-offs–encourage our heroes to trust the force. “May the force be with us.” But the Force created an ENTIRE FAMILY THAT LIVED LIVES THAT SUCKED AND MADE LIFE SUCK FOR EVERYONE AROUND THEM AND THEN THEY DIED.

May the Force stay far the f*ck away from me, amen.

But seriously I can’t trust the world of a galaxy far far away or its narrative anymore. It’s a contradiction that causes all nine films to unravel. Why?

Again, let’s return to my earlier GoT comparison, because there is one thing TROS does that is more similar to GoT than to Endgame: Endgame drew together a bunch of unique distinctly separate stories into a crossover. TROS, just like GoT, relied on cliffhanger, incomplete endings to its films and therefore the ending matters a hell of a lot more than a stand-alone story.

I’m not dying to rewatch it like I am with stories where I realize I might learn more the second time. And by “rewatch it” I mean the entire nine-film saga. Knowing that canonically Leia, Luke, Han–they all die and their last descendent dies, the last descendent of Padmé and Anakin–for me, it’s personally gonna be hard to watch again. It’s gonna be hard to watch TROS going into it the first time.

And so the saga of bad endings continues.

Game of Thrones remains the worst at a -100 out of 10. It’s followed by Tokyo Ghoul:re which is still 2/10, and Star Wars is, on paper (meaning after I see it I am hoping it rises a few notches) now… 4/10. Endgame is a solid 6.5/10.

Banana Fish, sweetie, I’m sorry you were ranked down there. Your ending is a 7/10 but the rest of your story is like, 10/10 so you are sprung from this list.

Help me, Shingeki no Kyojin. You’re my only hope.

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