#for me personally the main reason id do it is i think experiencing having a pussy would make me better in bed tbh

[unconventiononthelawofthesea]

#for me personally the main reason id do it is i think experiencing having a pussy would make me better in bed tbh

[deliciousangelfestival]

My Problematic Girl - Chapter 3

Character: College!Steve Rogers x Rich!Female Reader

Prologue:  Steve has lived being nobody in this prestigious university. He just wants to graduate and get a job to get more money to pay the bills for his mother's surgery. 

But his life turned upside when a new student attended his class. His quiet and dull life became dangerous and full of surprises.

×××

She exhaled the cigarette smoke from her lips. She still doesn’t care even though he told her he has asthma. 

She looked at Steve and said, “Bark for me.”

Steve felt humiliated, and his pride was crushed. But she held his life and secrets. He had to bury his dignity to the ground, and he murmured, 

“Woof.”

******

I would appreciate any comments and feedback you can give me. 

If you want to be tagged in this series, please tell me.

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5 , Chapter 6, Chapter 7 ,Chapter 8 , Chapter 9,-

Main Masterlist || Buy me Ko-fi

For a brief moment, he could understand what "happiness" means. His struggle to find a sponsor has been resolved. 

But when she mentioned that ID name, Steve felt naked.

His life is exposed to the whole world. His biggest fear has become a reality. Someone in the uni knew his secrets.

He grabbed Y/N's hand and dragged her until he found a quiet place. 

They weren't running, but Steve had to catch his breath. He felt suffocated. Like someone strangled his neck.

When he found a spot to talk, he released her hand. "Is this the reason why you ask me? What do you want?"

Y/N widened her eyes for a second; then, she chuckled again. "Turned out you can get angry too." 

Steve felt his head going to explode, "You…!!!"

She raises her arm to stop him. "If you think I want to blackmail you. You are partially correct."

Steve's trust in her crumbled, and he stepped away from her. He covered his face with both hands. "Are you going to tell the university?" 

Since she is close to Tony, there's a high chance she will tell him. 

Y/N was taken aback; she seemed offended. "Pfft, no. Why would I want to do that?"

Steve lifted his face; he became more confused. "So, what do you want from me?"

She shrugged her shoulders. "Right now, nothing." 

She took out her phone and started texting. While she was looking at the screen, she said, "I will inform you when I find a perfect location for your exhibition."

She doesn't bother with the way Steve look at her. "Word of advice, don't be afraid when someone knows your secret. Ignored them."

Steve clenched his fist. "Seems like you have experienced."

Y/N smirked at him and left. She left him with many questions and doubts.

Back at his apartment, Steve threw his bag to the floor and threw himself to bed. He wished he could turn around time to the day, but Y/N came to the class and ignored her. 

But it's too late now. 

"Bzzt"

"Yoo punk."

Steve sighed heavily; at least today, he could hear a familiar voice.

"What is it, idiot? Did you get hit in the head today?"

"This kid. Don't you want your best friend to become a famous quarterback?"

Steve chuckled. He's talking with Bucky, who studies in other cities at Imperial University. It is also a prestigious university like Stark but is more competitive and has a strong alumnus of doctors, lawyers, and football players. 

Bucky got accepted because of his football scholarship. Both of them are only able to meet on holidays. 

"Hei Bucky."

"What? You sounded like you got hit by a bus."

"I prefer to get hit. Today I meet a b**h."

"Tell me!!!"

Steve sighed heavily; he couldn’t tell everything to Bucky. He only tells him there’s a new student, which gives him stress. 

“Hmm, she sounds like a person I know. Perhaps I’m wrong. Just be careful, Steve.” 

Yeah, he should be careful. He doesn’t know what Y/N has under her sleeves.

A few days later.

Y/N didn't come to the university. It's better that way because he doesn't know how to feel when he sees her, angry or awkward. 

But once again when Steve felt relieved for a moment. Something will come again to disturb his peace. 

'Vroom'

The engine's sounds were loud, taking every student's attention, including Steve, walking towards the gate to go home. 

It was a black sports car, and it stopped beside Steve. He finally knew who the owner was when the car window went down. 

It's Y/N. 

"Get in." 

Steve wants to ignore her but doesn't want to get into trouble and make her mad since she knows his secret. So he gets into the car. 

When he sat down, the smell of expensive leather made him feel rich. The dashboard design also has impressive craftsmanship. No wonder why people like to collect sports cars. It felt like collecting luxury toys. 

"Where are we going?" 

"To the location for your exhibition."

"Huh…"

(An example to show the space for Steve's art exhibition)

'She wasn't joking.'

Steve thought while he walked around the empty studio. This place is huge. It's bigger than his apartment.

"A famous photographer and other artists always rent this place." A property agent is talking with Y/N. He keeps talking about selling aspects to convince her. 

Y/N crossed her arms and nodded. "Send me the contract."

The agent was pleased. "I will send it tomorrow."

"Good. Leave."

After the property agent left, Y/N walked toward Steve while taking another cigarette. "Do you like it?"

"Yeah. Who wouldn't? Every artist would kill to get this place."

Steve still can't believe it.

Nobody from his class could afford this place. Then he remembered nothing in this world is free. "What exactly do you want from me?"

Y/N smiled at him. "In the world of the arts during the Medieval and Early Modern eras, many artists had a wealthy sponsor of their work, a system called patronage. Like Da Vinci and Mozart."

That part is true. Back then, the Catholic church and the pope hired many artists and sculptured to design the church building. They could afford food and a roof over their head. But some artist doesn’t have a good Patreon. Like Van Gogh, who only ate bread and drank wine. Everyone started to adore his art after he committed suicide. 

She inhaled and exhaled the smoke from her lips. "I felt offended you doubted my sincerity, Steve." 

He coughed and cleared his throat; the tobacco smell was too strong.  "But, why me? There's another talented student from the class."

Y/N shook her head. "I already like your 'special work.' Then when I met you and saw your other painting, I knew I had made a perfect choice."

Her compliment made him flattered, but he had to stay on guard. "It's not just an exhibition; you want to sell my painting."

Her face brightened, and she snapped her finger. "That's right Steve. And you will get 80% share."

He gasped; that was a fantastic offer. "You seem confident; do you already have a potential buyer?"

She nodded, "There's a lot of people who want to do money laundering."

‘HUH?!’

Steve raised his eyebrows. Did his ears fool him? 

Did he just hear that? The way she said it is like, 'Tomorrow is Friday.'

"What?"

Y/N confidently answered, "I’m going to use your painting for money laundering."

Steve knees became weak, that made him unable to stand anymore; he thought:

'Dear God, he always prayed for an answer to his financial trouble. But what kind of angel He sent to him? '

Thank you for reading. I hope you like it.

If you have any feedbacks or want to join the tagged list, you can tell me.

I will always be grateful for those who reblog. Thank you so much.

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5 , Chapter 6, Chapter 7 ,Chapter 8 , Chapter 9,-

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#chris evans characters #my problematic girl series #steve rogers imagine #steve rogers au #steve rogers x reader #pre serum steve x reader #steve rogers x y/n #steve rogers x f!reader #steve rogers x you #steve rogers fanfiction

[lu-is-not-ok]

If you are still taking EGOs to analyze, have you done Sunshower / Drifting Fox?

I have not yet, so let's take a look!

Under the cut, wheeee~

Let's start with the Drifting Fox itself. Unlike most Limbus Abnormalities, for which you have to do some deep readings to recognise their themes, Drifting Fox spells out its themes quite clearly in its Observation Logs.

Here, we're dealing with the idea of feign kindness vs genuine kindness. Kindness done to make yourself feel good without thinking of whether or not it will actually help the one you're being kind to, vs kindness done because you genuinely care about the one you're being kind to.

Some other themes that can be read from this abnormality are abandonment, seeking affection, thoughtfulness behind one's actions (and lack thereof), and learned distrust.

Now, there is also the fact that Drifting Fox and its E.G.O, Sunshower, seem to have some inspiration in the Fox Rain folktale, which mostly revolves around unrequited love. However... There isn't much about Drifting Fox that seems to really connect to that theme at all. The most I can say about it is that the theme was twisted into one about the Fox struggling to accept love from others due to its bad experiences with people who pretended to love it for selfish reasons.

As such I won't really be using the folktale in the analysis, as while I'm sure some connections can be drawn between it and Sunshower E.G.O users, in my opinion they're not as important to character analysis as drawing connections to the Drifting Fox itself.

While we're talking about Sunshower E.G.O users, let's name them finally. Outis and Yi Sang. While Heathcliff uses a Lobcorp version of the E.G.O in one of his IDs, I won't be looking into it in this post because analyzing Identities is a very different process to analyzing E.G.Os, and one I'm still trying to polish. Maybe one day I'll be able to dip my toes into full ID analysis, but until then, E.G.O only.

With Yi Sang, we can definitely see Drifting Fox's themes here, especially with the context of Canto IV. After all, feign kindness is exactly what he experienced from Gubo after the League disbanded, an event that led to him feeling abandoned and distrustful of everyone but Sang Yi. Which, speaking of him, is the main person Yi Sang was seeking affection from during the time he was effectively abandoned.

Now, when it comes to Outis... We really don't know much about her or her background. However, I think one way the theme of feign kindness presents itself in her is, well, with how she acts. Outis's whole schtick is that she's pretending to be kind towards Dante, seemingly for her own benefit.

However... Something tells me it's not as simple as that. Thoughout the story, we get hints towards Outis's life. How she had to sacrifice a lot during her time on the battlefield, and hints towards some complex feeling regarding family she had to leave behind to join the war.

Does she believe she abandoned her family? Or, now that the war is over, does she think they had abandoned her in return? Is feign kindness something that only applies to her own actions? Or is it something she herself experienced as well, and had to learn how to use by herself to survive? She certainly feels like the distrusting type to me...

We don't know enough to say for sure right now, but it is certainly interesting to speculate about.

Let's move on to Sin analysis, as this is where something very interesting happens.

Sunshower is the first shared E.G.O we have that has Different Sin Damage depending on its user. This, of course, paints a very different picture of how these themes apply to each of its users.

Outis's Sunshower deals Gluttony damage. Gluttony is a Sin that represents actions done out of hunger, both hunger for survival and hunger for more. With what little we know about Outis, I think in this case we can firmly place this Gluttony as the survival type.

This implies that her own feigning of kindness is something she began doing as a way to survive what she has gone through, likely during the war and after it had ended. It could also symbolize her own distrust being a way to survive in the wake of other people feigning kindness towards her.

Yi Sang's Sunshower deals Sloth damage. Sloth is a sin that represents actions done out of apathy and inaction, which at this point is a Sin Staple for Yi Sang. This, of course, represents how he deals with feign kindness and abandonment - apathy and resignation.

When the League fell apart, Yi Sang resigned himself to following the guidance of whoever first told him what to do. When met with Gubo's feign kindness, Yi Sang responded with apathy, and resigned himself to following his orders because there was nothing else he thought he could do.

Sin requirements-wise, both Outis and Yi Sang require Sloth, Gluttony, and Gloom, while Yi Sang also adds some Pride on top of that. Let's take this one at a time.

For both Outis and Yi Sang, Sloth represents some form of resignation and/or apathy. This, of course, is extremely clear for Yi Sang, whose very character arc revolves around overcoming his depressive apathy. When it comes to Outis, I think this also applies, if in lesser amounts. Over the course of the war she participated in, she likely had learn to be complacent, to simply follow her leader's orders and not grow too attached to anyone.

Next up, Gluttony. Like with Sloth, I think this represents the same thing for both Outis and Yi Sang, that being that their actions were a way to survive the circumstances they were in. For Outis, it was the only way she could make it through the war, and the only way she can keep going after. For Yi Sang, it was the only way he could survive the League's disbanding and being captured by N Corp.

Then, we have Gloom. Gloom as a sin represents actions done under the pressure of negative emotions. It implies severe emotional stress. Knowing what we know about Outis and Yi Sang... Yeah. Yeah it makes sense for Gloom to be there. I don't think I need to go into too much detail on that.

Lastly, we have Pride for Yi Sang. Pride represents actions done purely for their benefit, while their consequences are ignored. This, I think, is meant to reflect the dilemma Yi Sang was going through during his time at N Corp. He had to do whatever Gubo was telling him to just to survive, and had to ignore the damage he would be indirectly contributing to by helping him.

Before we end off, let's briefly look at the dialogue lines.

Outis's lines are quite... interesting, in my opinion. Her Awakening line reflect the theme of rejecting feigned, meaningless kindness, which I think further affirms Outis's distrust towards others.

However, I think her Corroded line here is much more interesting. It seems to represent Outis's fear of being abandoned. Not only that, but it implies it's something that happened to her at least once before. Perhaps I wasn't that far off about the idea of Outis suffering through something herself that made her learn to feign kindness herself.

Yi Sang's lines on the other hand seem to be more focusing on his own inability to do anything about his situation. His Awakening line reflects his worries about not being able to truly help anyone, while his Corroded line seems to show him falling fully into hopelessness and lamenting over the situation only getting worse.

So, there you go! I might at some point later analyze Sunshower Heathcliff once I figure out a proper method to analyzing IDs, but that day isn't today.

#limbus company #limbus company project moon #outis #outis lcb #yi sang #yi sang lcb #sunshower ego #lcb analysis #lcb canto iv #lcb spoilers #ask #runn1ngn0se #lu speaketh

[mejomonster]

I started Koisenu Futari and I wish alloromantic people could see like the first 10 minutes alone. So much of our main characters discomfort at being assumed to be flirting, being pressured to pick up on signs and be putting out signs, social norms and expectations, how people sometimes actively conflict with your behavior if you simply live your life without thinking in romantic terms/acting flirtatious/assuming, is what all kinds of aromantic people deal with. And the show does a good immediate job of showing how disruptive to a person's daily life that can be - just being your normal self, and people getting mad at you for not reading something they never said out loud, or assuming things of you, assuming a future for you and being annoyed you're not fulfilling it, society acting like your current life and life path isn't normal, etc.

Personal reaction below cut o3o:

On a different note just my personal reaction now lol. I'm demiromantic and god the opening to this drama REALLY hammers home why I hate a majority of fluff romance shows. A lot of them are "love at first sight" and rely on SO many situations that also happen in the beginning of this drama, but in this drama the main character acts like me: she's just being her normal self and this stuff is all pushed upon her and she just rejects it and step out of the sudden assumptions people make kindly and tries to move on. In so many "fluff romance love at first sight" things the main person is bafflingly smitten or overwhelmed and I get it cause it's a trope we are taught to understand after seeing so many times, but I don't relate to it and I've never experienced it and I'm never going to lol. This main characters experience is way more representative of how id react if unfortunately I ran into such situations. It's fucking refreshing.

Also I deeply love how much she enjoys her life, is happy with her friend, wants to move out with her friend. I felt just like her as I transitioned that part of life, and it's nice to just see it. In my social circle it's normal for people to move in with friends, prioritize friends like family (not just lovers), so her moving is what I did and makes sense to me. But I'm also very aware of the assumption friends may move out when they get a partner, will prioritize that more, and that society is generally expecting that so even when you're not doing it there's outsiders insisting it's not reliable or it's an odd living arrangement (like her family was). I like that she enjoys the life she's built.

It hurts my heart, but I relate and understand, to when she meets the man at the supermarket who says he believes there's people who don't fall in love. It's that moment when you realize you may not be alone, what you feel may be normal and actually have WORDS and concepts to describe it and a community of people like you! And suddenly you feel more like wow yeah I exist, my feelings are genuine, I am not alone and weird I am one of many people many tons who have felt like this and do and will and it's just like. That's why aces belong in lgbtq spaces (among many reasons). There is no space for people who feel aromatic or asexual and on that spectrum, in the majority of mainstream straight spaces. In the sense it still takes a person living into her adult life to even HEAR that how she feels is something ANOTHER PERSON also feels. It can take people decades to find out how they experience attraction or don't has a label, has a community, has people who can relate to them. And before even that just... simply can be a thing. I didn't know I was demi when I was a teen I just assumed all people felt like me, was confused when a lot of people seemed Not To experience stuff the same, and settled on maybe I was just a bit odd. Then one day I found a word for it and realized goddamn people Do feel this besides me, I'm not the only one who can't relate. It was the same experience being bi, not knowing ppl could like multiple genders until I found the bi community, and feeling "wrong" for liking multiple when adults and schoolmates would say "just pick" for ages. Or being trans, thinking oh whatever it was just my particular thing to cry about my gender and pray to be different, cause no one said to me that my gender could be different than what people call me as. So I just felt broken and confused until I learned there were words for my feeling, for who I was, and that I wasn't broken I was just something I had no words for before. Just like... people should be able to access community and information and feel less alone and more understood and accepted for being themselves.

The main girl in this feeling alone and not great every time people pressure her about romance and bring up how she doesn't act like them, I feel it in my heart. And I hope for whoever needs to see it, they see her isolation and want her and people who go through what she does to feel less of it. To feel more understood, to understand themselves more and have an easier time knowing how they feel is okay and its the fucked up pressures not understanding them that's frustrating.

Anyway I'm not even done with ep 1 just. Wow I feel like a lot of ppl could benefit a little just from seeing that first part.

#koisenu futari #lb #i got ah personal lol

[chidoroki]

What are your top 5 Isabella chapters? (You're so cool!!!)

Oh anon, you're amazing and I hope you know by asking me anything about this woman means that I'm gonna do more than simply list out the chapters for you.

Okay, sooo these chapters may seem like obvious choices but they're no doubt the first few that came to my mind (which may or may not be because I have their numbers memorized). Unfortunately I don't think I have the heart to rank them because aahh, I love each one a significant amount and for various reasons?? and whichever one I deem as the best could easily change the more I think about it.. so I'm just gonna list them in chronological order instead. Hope that's okay!

1 - Chapter 24: Inspection, Part 1 Part of me wants to cheat and list chapter 24 & 25 together since both cover November 2nd and the major events in said chapters are what make S1EP8 one of the best episodes to showcase how terrifyingly great Isabella is, but if I had to choose just one, then I'll go with ch24. Yes seeing her break Emma's leg and announce Norman's shipment are both jaw dropping moments capable of making anyone speechless, but ch25 also has quite a few pages just solely dedicated to the internal dialogues of the duo, so that doesn't help us here hm?. While Isabella dropping her "loving mother" facade and speaking to the food Emma & Norman directly as an actual caretaker is chilling, her confrontation with Ray in ch24 leaves more of an impact on me, given their mother-son relationship and totally not because they're my two favorites, that's crazy. Not only does she nonchalantly reveal that she had Krone killed at the same time Ray was wondering the sister's whereabouts, but she also labels Ray as a traitor, effectively cutting him off as her personal spy and any safety she once guaranteed him. She then makes the resolve to control the children with her own hands instead from now on, which sends Ray into an absolute panic, because if he is no longer safe, then no one is. Along with the anime giving us that added scene of her tossing Ray aside like a rag doll and every frame/panel that shows the sheer confidence she has on her face, having Isabella knock off her biggest ally is such a powerful move to me. This chapter is basically like the queen setting up the board for the perfect checkmate. And it works.

2 - Chapter 37: Escape Courtesy of all Krone's information in ch20-21, Grandma Sarah's single panel flashback in ch23 and even Isabella's own ID number way back in ch3, it was pretty common knowledge at this point that Isabella also experienced the same false childhood as any other kid at Grace Field, but finally seeing her morals and backstory from her own perspective will literally take any hatred you had towards her and toss it out the window (probably) because you'll feel emotions you didn't think you would've originally had towards this fantastic antagonist. The brief interaction we get to witness between her and Leslie is beyond wholesome, so of course the story chooses to break your heart the next moment by skipping right to his shipment and a heartbroken Isabella (which is portrayed way better in anime as manga literally has a panel of her smiling as she waves goodbye, like..huh?). It's also confirmed that she attempted to escape GF and just how important Leslie's song is to not only her, but to Ray as well as he uses this tune in order to verify that Isabella is indeed his real mother. On top of all that, we come to learn that she excels with her position as Mom for the sake of the children so she can indirectly extend their lives as long as possible and give them all the love she can before they’re unfortunately shipped off. Yes her main goal is to stay alive in this hellish world herself, I know, but this chapter is just a fantastic example showing how Isabella isn't as selfish as she once seemed and does care about her children a great deal (and more than herself later on in the story), even going as far as retrieving the ropes the fifteen escapees used to cross the cliff so the pursuing demons wouldn't locate them as quickly. She accepts her defeat and admits her mistakes, as well as express her well wishes to those that escaped and continues to care for the kids that were left behind while she can. There's just.. a lot to this chapter and it does so much for her character y'all, you know this. Needless to say but the anime handles this chapter wonderfully, especially with the soundtracks and the fantastic choice of having her let her hair down aahh she's beautiful.

3 - Chapter 170: Together As much as I love the very end of ch169 and the pure shock it gave me, I gotta choose the following chapter because it made it just as excited to learn what led Isabella to completely turn against Peter. We're reminded of how frustrated Isabella is with the farm system and its tactics that causes them to live in fear, flaunting freedom as bait as they all constantly fight each other just to survive longer than anyone and prove to be useful, less they get killed for acting out or by simply giving up. She successfully manages to rally every single sister & mother at the GF headquarters together (with barely any sort of resistance or issue) in order to rebel against the Ratri clan, which happens mere moments before Emma & company actually raid the facility by the way, just to avoid any suspicions from Peter about the plan itself. Amidst all the suspense and anger, we hear of Isabella's thoughts about how relieved she is to see her children again and how touched she is at the fact they still refer to her as their mom, even if she believes she doesn't deserve the sentiment. In true "Iron Lady" fashion, she keeps these emotions to herself and expresses that it's just convenient she and the kids share a similar goal. Oh, she also refers to Peter as a boy, which I will always find hilarious. To top it all off, it gives me the best mother-daughter moment ever. This is the chapter where she completely won me over and has been a favorite of mine ever since.

4 - Chapter 177: Mother And this is the chapter that completely breaks me. I'm not exaggerating when I say that whenever I revisit this moment I either start to tear up or get real emotional, so I shall let you know my emotional state after I sit and write this out. So, the wonderful woman I fell in love with just seven chapter ago? Mhhmm, DEAD! By some fucking random ass demon who is no doubt my most hated character in this series. ANYWAYS. This unforgivable event was first teased in the last couple pages in ch176, which officially released on MOTHER'S DAY, so not only is that such horrible timing but THEN we had to painfully wait a full week to see if the Iron Lady would survive this or if the children were gonna lose yet another parental figure. Needless to say, the worst case scenario happened and my heart was shattered into pieces. My emotions aside, the chapter itself is (surprisingly?) one of my favorites out of the entire series and is heartwarming is the most upsetting way possible. Isabella putting herself in harms way to save Emma & the other girl (with no hesitation might I add) speaks volumes about how much she loves her kids and how far she'll go to ensure they can live a bright future, even if it means by sacrificing her own life, which was once the only she cared about. The fact Isabella still possessed enough strength after being stabbed to hold back this bastard demon twice her size is worth mentioning as well. Once the demon is taken care of, the first thing she's concerned with is Emma & everyone else's safety, showing us even further that they now take priority over herself (even since ch37, I’ll argue). Despite literally giving her life to save Emma (along with all her other subtle moments I've no doubt mentioned here & in other posts), Isabella admits that she still hasn't done enough to atone for all the trauma she caused them, even though the kids had already forgiven her a couple chapters ago, she still feels the need to do so much more for them. The hug between her and the majority of the GF kids is sad as hell, especially with Emma's internal & external dialogue, but it is always the final interaction between mother and son that breaks my heart. Isabella apologized to all the kids in ch174, but her tearful apology to Ray here holds so much weight; for not treating him right or loving him as a true mother should to her own son, for all the lies and pain that made his life a living hell which left him suicidal. Her final wish for Ray to take care of everyone hurts in all the right ways because despite their differences, they both care for their family so much where they would literally die and live for them. It's a lot of emotion coming from a woman who once had an unbreakable facade, and seeing her use up her final bit of strength to share all that with Ray gets me close to tears. This death had upset me so much that I stopped myself from listening to "Isabella's Lullaby" for a good year because I knew that hearing that melody would only remind me of this heartbreaking chapter. (and yes I'm making myself emotional right now).

5 - Chapter 181.7: A Mother’s Determination Take everything that made the previous four mentioned chapters so great (her strategic mind/her dedication/her powerful influence/her love for the children) and combined all of that into one and you shall get Isabella's special one-shot. It shows us the very beginning (Jan-Feb 2046) of Isabella's time as Grandma of the Grace Field plantation and how she commits to her plan of helping the escapees when they return. In order to succeed, she first reduces the number of shipments (which effectively spares many children's lives), suspects she might be targeted by the other sisters & mothers and even successfully determines which women might actually try to backstab her, all in the span of one month. She also anticipated the perfect moment when they were gonna strike, flawlessly counters their sad attempt of sabotaging her, then easily taunts them to the point where the four sisters are visibly shaking in fear of their lives. Without any delay, she proposes the idea to destroy GF in such a calm and confident manner and proceeds to tug at their emotions with the reveal that each one of their own kids are still alive, how frustratingly unfair the farm system and how strongly she believes she can tear it all down. This is the Iron Lady at her best, and nothing motivates her more than her children. Of course rebelling to end this endless cycle of hatred and fear is a huge factor in why Isabella is putting in so much effort to change destiny, but fighting in order to secure a bright future where her children are free to live normal lives without any sort of fear is something she has always strived for, and now that she has the power to openly assist them create that future, you can bet she's gonna try her damn hardest to give them the happiness they so rightfully deserve. We started the story off with the children learning from her, so it’s pretty amazing (despite this chapter being released after the main story finished) that we end with Isabella using what she learned from her children in order to take control and unite against the real enemy. The only downside to this fantastic chapter is the last panel because I don't wanna be reminded that this absolute queen is actually dead, damn it!

Alrighty, I think that about does it.. and I have no doubt I repeated myself a bunch too hahaa. I still have no idea which chapter I enjoy most now, even among those I mentioned briefly, but it's clear as day that Isabella is amazing. Thank you again for the question anon! Always a pleasure chatting about TPN and I hope you have a great rest of your day/night!

#the promised neverland #tpn manga #tpn isabella #mother isabella #a wild ask appeared #chidoroki used chatter

[spikeinthepunch]

i feel like it may be worth just rambling about my website and what things id like to do with it in terms of rehauling the look. i am always the type to say "no, this will stay in my brain until i know for sure what i want to do". but that often means fleeting ideas dont stick and not talking about it makes it hard to properly envision

my website kind of got a solid look mid-early last year after i learned more html formatting and i quite like it- a landing page, a home page, and a few spin off pages (project site and coffini outlet). i didnt feel like i acheived what i wanted to emulate out of the old web though- making the page feel like a proper "home" or diving into my own personal world.

i mostly considered the first solid design to be temporary as i figure out what i wanted to do with a theme that felt more homey, but that didnt happen for a variety of reasons.

the main struggle out of all of it is actually making the assets. there is a lot of ways i could tackle the "old internet" look with assets. low quality jpegs? pixel art? low poly 3d gifs? many other things i am not experienced with making either- and the aesthetic i think i would go for most is pixel art. and even outside of the style is just SO much stuff to make. i gotta make the background? the containers? the buttons? the borders? scroll bar? and every other little decoration!! it is overwhelming especially when i dont even know if i can make it all myself in a way i like because i havent done much pixel art.

in terms of what i want to do though (lets not forget i am writing this to also remind myself what i want to do) outside of my annoyance for procrastinating- i want to rework my landing page to be cuter and more themed. everything to be more themed. obviously i lean a lot on space aesthetics, and would certainly want the landing page to be about that. either something like, a spaceship gif and the puffs of smoke linking to the homepage/etc. or a solar system. home page, i still want to be similar layout as to keep it easy to navigate... but id want to carry that look very heavily still. want think giving the containers a sort of mechanical sci-fi look would be neat, like youre inside a ship. or maybe make it look like holographic screens (id want to try and keep my light color text on a dark background look). for coffini outlet, i want to make all the graphic myself and probably alter the layout a bit? but not too much, as i think this one is ideal for reading still. so really, just a more original header image. for my project page? i quite like it as is, i made it more recently with some help of a template.

so those are the thoughts i have. aside from the aesthetics i know i really want to improve on my code in terms of making it semi workable on phones but also way more usable on different window size.... currently this is a big problem still on some pages:

improving the technical side of the website is important and i think my meds working will help me focus on that a bit more in terms of...learning how to lol. and i do want to sit down and learn properly about the aesthetic parts i feel i dont have the skills for too- ive kind of put a lot of that onthe backburner with all the fan art i have gotten into as well and i feel like i want to pull away from it just a tad in order to focus on original things.

#illunet

[amalgamezz]

Honestly like... I'm aromantic, and drawing a line between those things (romantic and platonic attraction/love/whatever) is very important to me, because I'm extremely romance repulsed and I do not want anything to do with romance ever at all. So the divide between them is extremely important to me, and I know I've often had a lot of internal push-back or instinctive panic at the idea that there isn't a difference or a meaningful difference bc I've spent my whole life trying to get as far away from romance as possible while the world refused to let me escape it. 'Love is love' sure but those *are* different relationships to me, and I do not want ANYTHING to do with one of them, so that's why I personally want a very strong line in my own life between them. That's not to say some feelings or actions are *inherently* one or another, I think that kind of distinction is completely bogus, but there are a lot of reasons why people might want to be very clear about which one they are personally experiencing or expressing or seeking, and it's not just an alloro thing.

I hear you! I'm quite also a romance repulsed aromantic myself. Though funny enough, trying to draw a line between what is romance and whatnot is not particularly helpful in my case. For example, while I personally do associate most mouth-to-mouth kisses to romance acts and handholding completely being platonic acts, I have such instances where my repulsion acts up when I see a couple handholding and yet goes dormant when the very same couple is kissing. This has occurred so many times and on many different "romantic/platonic" things that it puzzled so much that I had to go back to the drawing board and reexamine my cases. Aaaaand it turns out what I'm generally repulsed of is performative displays of affections. So whether I label an act as platonic or romantic, I wouldn't still be able to tell if I'm gonna be repulsed by it until I see and clock whether it is PDA or *PDA*. Very helpful, thank you, brain.

That aside, actually, the main reason that prompted my previous post is that I've seen multiple times in which my alloro friends *agonized* (literally, I'm even not being dramatic) over whether their feelings for their new favorite person are platonic or romantic, to the point that they consider to stop hanging out or seeing each other as friends. Perhaps I'm too aro for this, but it makes me ??????? most of the time. That being said, as someone who used to id as lithromantic, I can partly understand why the distinction between romantic vs. platonic can be important and why people wishfully cling onto their romantic feelings, but at times I feel like they are too *obsessed* with drawing a fine line between labels that they themselves ruin many precious romantic/platonic relationships they have and tbh it makes me so sad to witness.

#ask #anon

[abra-ka-dammit]

a video of a comedian with tourette's crossed my dash a couple days ago and i keep thinking about it because i realized id never actually.... experienced someone with tourettes? like it was a Concept in my mind that i knew existed and was out there but i'd never encountered it, and finally seeing it happen with a real life person was... idk, kinda jarring? because watching him i was like. yeah... if i didnt know what was going on id be pretty freaked out by that thing he keeps doing. and since my main touchpoint of tourette's knowledge was a south park episode largely mocking it, i only had a vague idea of what a real person with tourette's was like. obvs i knew it was more than randomly screamed obscenities but written descriptions of tics really dont do the actual acts justice when seen live, so it really was like. being slapped in the face with A New Thing I Don't Understand--which of course depending on the person can either lead to fear-based hate or acceptance of the new thing. i like to try to be the latter person.

and in my life, honestly just plain exposure has almost always been what makes me emotionally connect with "minority" groups, especially of the medical variety. its easy not to empathize with groups you don't belong to if you never actually have to see or hear them. it's easy to hate, then, too. without exposure to them, "people with tourette's" can just be a theoretical group of people you don't need to care about, because hey they must not number enough to matter because you don't think you've ever met one. hell, maybe they're not even real! but being introduced to real people who are Real Dementia Patients, Real Autistics, Real Tourette's Havers, etc.... seeing their human faces, hearing their human voices, seeing their movements and behaviors, learning about who and what they are and their experiences as that minority from their own lips; it helps you see them as human, and their status a human one.

theres not really an ending thought here. just having that wild experience of seeing something atypical "in real life" and coming to terms between my instinctual "what the fuck" and my logical "he has a disorder" to meet at "that's a person with a life experience I will never have or truly understand but i have no reason to discriminate against them for it, because they're really just another person"

#brings me back to my very young days tbh #i was the weird kid in school that would befriend the Freak kids nobody else wanted to #so i had one friend in like 1st grade who entirely didnt speak english who i communicated with largely through Charades #who no one else wanted to play with bc they didnt speak spanish #and there was this boy with some developmental disorder who was wheelchair-bound in i wanna say 3rd grade? #his head lolled off to one side and he drooled and couldnt move his crunched up arms well #but i would sit by him at lunch and talk to him and his adult helper #just being introduced to their existence helped me go 'oh some people are different than me in X way but theyre still people' #then in uhhh 7th grade? maybe 8th? i was in a science class and we were gonna do frog dissections in pairs #and my teacher came to me specifically and said hey are u okay if i pair u with so-and-so #idr his name but he was a rowdy and loud autistic kid who would break out singing disney songs in the middle of class #most of the kids highkey hated him and thought he was annoying #i too found it annoying but not enough to be a dick especially since i have an autistic cousin i lived with when i was 5-7 #and through my time with her understood theyre not trying to be disruptive or annoying but they just cant help it #so she paired me w him bc i was the one kid she could trust to just be nice to him and do the stuff myself if he was uncooperative #stupid shit #wow this is a lot of tags lol

[fandom-monium]

i finished for the holidays and i just *chefs kiss* beautiful talented amazing sajkgdkj no words i love that romance wasnt even the main point 🥺💘 anyway i love how you write reader and i wondered between her and spencer who gets jealous???

Unrivaled

Summary: In which you seem pretty close with the new intern, and Spencer is not happy about it. (ft. one of my fave white bois) “Have I ever told you how much I value your friendship?"

WC: 3.6k

Tags/Warnings: Spencer Reid x GN!Reader, fluff, cussing, Jealous!Spencer bc id like to see that, established relationships (blegh), Garvez if you squint, the lightest implication of smut ever, points to yall who can guess who the intern is before reading the end or the tags 😉

—

Spencer is not jealous. He’s not.

Why would he be? 

He has no reason to be jealous, Spencer chants to himself as he sits at his desk. Even from across the bullpen he still manages to hear your voice, and while normally it’s music to his ears, even better than Mozart, now it just feels like nails against a chalkboard. Grating his eardrums, making him wince.

Because you’re laughing. Not with Spencer though. Not at his obscure references or lame jokes.

With the new intern.

Why did Emily have to put you in charge of him? She could’ve chosen anyone on the team to have him shadow, but it had to be you! Not that you’re incapable or unqualified; you’re experienced, talented, and the best person he knows. 

… Okay, he can see why she picked you.

Why do they even have interns? Unnecessary, really, when the BAU has you and him and he guesses the other teams too (it’s weird, he’s never actually interacted with them but whatever). Maybe it’s time to start making budget cuts. He’ll discuss this with Emily when he gets the chance. He’s got some influence, working at the BAU as long as he has.

But he’s not jealous. 

Logically, jealousy (like an intern) is unnecessary. The green-eyed monster (like an intern) is ugly and contributes nothing productive, and if Spencer’s being honest, the world (like an intern) would be much better off without it.

At least that’s what he keeps telling himself as he downs his coffee like a shot of whiskey, trying to quell the squirming beast in him. Despite 90% of it being sugar, it still tastes bitter. He sets his mug down with a thud, and it’s loud enough to make Luke, Garcia, and JJ turn their heads, exchanging concerned glances when he slumps back in his chair.

Spencer doesn’t care. The world’s ending; you’re apparently into younger guys, with neat dark hair and forearms that can probably snap someone’s neck, and he can’t do anything about it. What does it matter if his best friends catch him in a sour mood, right?

“Hey, Spence,” JJ's tone is soft as they slink over, Garcia and Luke leaning against the edge of his desk and JJ flanking the other side. “You alright?”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” Spencer gazes past them, his eyes never leaving you. He deflates; your stance is relaxed, completely open as you nod at whatever Intern is saying, his hands gesturing spastically. It must be interesting, the way you listen with rapt attention and respond just as enthusiastic.

Spencer scoffs. Not like that’s anything special. You do the same for him. And the rest of the team.

...What the hell are you guys talking about? 

“Well, you look like you’re about to throw your mug across the room. Or at an intern.”

Spencer blinks, finally breaking away from you long enough to eye the ceramic octopus. “That’s a good idea actually.”

“Don’t,” Garcia and JJ both shoot him a warning and he huffs, resting his chin in his hand. Garcia looks horrified, betrayed even while JJ has that expression on, the one she gives when she scolds Henry and Michael.

Whatever. It’s not like he’d ever sacrifice Mildred. Garcia entrusted her to him, after all. 

Unless...?

No, he couldn’t… Maybe.

“You know, Reid, if you’re jealous—”

Spencer snaps his head to Garcia, eyes wide and darting to you like you have super-hearing, “Jealous? Who’s jealous? Not me.” He cringes, his voice octaves higher and cracking like a prepubescent boy.

Garcia snorts, “Okay, sure. But if you are jealous, I was going to say you have no reason to be. You wanna know why?” Spencer raises an eyebrow at her and she continues, “Sure the guy’s smart enough to get a full-ride scholarship at GWU, and he’s top of his class at the academy—”

“Is this supposed to make me feel better?”

"And he’s one of the most good looking guys I've ever met—”

"How is that relevant—"

Luke frowns at her. "And have you met me?"

“My point is,” Garcia’s red lipstick curls into the most reassuring smile, “that you have nothing to worry about because (Your Name) loves you. A lot.” 

Spencer perks up. “You really think so?”

“I know so. I see the way they look at you, and if that’s not love I don’t know what is," She shrugs, "And just because they’re talking doesn’t mean they’re into him.”

There's a collective nod of agreement and Spencer sags in relief. Of course they're right. He knows they are. 

If you think about it, technically, he's got the advantage. You've known each other longer, bonded and shared experiences together good and bad, and you’re emotionally and even physically intimate with each other (something he's especially proud of, considering how long it takes you both to warm up to others).

And who knows? This is probably temporary! Whatever this is, the connection you seem to instantly make with Intern (faster than when you two had met, he realizes with a needle to his heart) is short-term at best. It'll peter out eventually, like most friendships do.

It’s sad, but a cruel fact of life.

(Is this selfish, wishful thinking? Nah.)

They’re right, there is no need to worry, Spencer thinks as a weight lifts off his chest, finally able to breathe. You love him and he loves you and eventually, everything will go back to normal. 

There’s nothing to worry about.

—

The world’s ending.

“It’s really not.”

Yes, it is.

“Doc, come on.”

“Do not ‘Doc’ me,” Spencer grumbles, lifting his head from the comfort of his arms. He grimaces at Luke. “You didn’t see the way they looked at him. The way they talk about him.”

Two weeks. It’s been two weeks since you’ve taken Intern under your wing, and he’s had enough. If Hell is real, this is it. For days, he’s tried to resume some form of normalcy, and he was never one to be bold but desperate times call for desperate measures as he asks you out for lunch or invites you out on dates, even stuff he wouldn’t normally do because they’re more your thing. Something, anything to get you away from Intern. But...

At work: “Hey Spence, I'm teaching Intern (menial task that a 4 year old could do). Would you like to help—”

During break: “I’m taking Intern out for lunch. He’s still new to town, and I thought he could use a tour—”

In bed: “Did you know Intern’s a huge fan of Star Wars—”

Snap, and there went his patience.

Intern this, Intern that. 

Spencer could tolerate this at work. At least he’s saving lives, being productive, getting paid. But under his roof? In his bed? 

That was the last straw.

Spencer's not one to wish ill on another, he's not like that. But if something happened to the guy, say, get injured in the field, perhaps from a "stray" bullet, he'd be intern-ally grateful. Heh. 

"Hey, you good?"

Spencer sighs, swiping a hand over his face and turning back to Luke. "Yeah, why?"

Luke waves a hand at his face, eyebrow raised, "For a second there, you kind of had a scary look on your face."

"Did I? Weird."

"Right," Clearly unconvinced, Luke brushes it off, deciding to get to the root of the matter. "As I was saying, I still think you have nothing to worry about. Although, I do think it's a little weird that (Your Name) is talking about Intern as much as you say they are." He offers Spencer a little smile, his hand falling heavy on his shoulder. It's the most comforting touch he's had in two weeks. "I'm not one to talk, but I suggest you speak to them. I'd also be uncomfortable if my partner were talking up someone else."

Spencer blinks, squints at Luke, before gripping his hand and standing up. "Have I ever told you how much I value your friendship?"

"You can stand to mention it more often," Luke shrugs, eyes crinkling with amusement as Spencer lets go and heads for the door. 

"Noted."

—

Spencer nearly goes feral when he finds you.

Of course you're with him.

He searched the floor like a bloodhound, discovering you've been on your feet almost the entire day, running around the office, up and down the elevators, finishing your work and helping around. You must be exhausted. It's because of this he tracks you to your favorite break room, mostly quiet save for the buzzing drip of the old coffeemaker. He knows you need to be alone sometimes, recharge those social batteries.

So when he bursts into the room like he would hunting an unsub, eyes quickly scanning the immediate space, he expects nothing less but you. What he did not anticipate was to find you, just as soft and pretty as ever under the fluorescent lighting, leaning against the counter and sipping daintily at your favorite mug. 

With Intern standing a little too close to his liking.

“Hey, Spencer,” You chirp as you lower your coffee mug, lips glossy from your drink. Spencer's quick to shake his stupor―he can’t afford to be distracted, but it’s difficult when you’re beaming at him, clearly excited. You nod at the home-wrecker, “Me and Intern here were just talking about demonology and he’s got this interesting theory on werewolves―" Lycanthropy? Are you fucking kidding him right now? 

Just when he thought he couldn't hate the guy any more.

"CanItalktoyou?" It comes out rushed as Spencer gasps between breaths, leaving no room to second guess himself.

"Sure," You blink at his urgent tone.

For a second, you watch him expectantly, and Spencer's gaze darts between you and Intern. "Alone?"

"Oh! Okay. Be gone," You wave Intern off, and when you place a hand on his shoulder, Spencer sees red. Or green in this case.

Intern doesn't resist, but the noise Spencer releases is animalistic because the guy can’t seem to read the room, questioning you as you gently shove him towards the door. "What about the thing―"

"We'll talk about that later."

"But you still need to show me how to―"

"Don't worry, Intern. Just wait for me, I'll show you once the adults are done talking."

"You know at some point you're gonna have to call me by my name." 

"Nah. If we get to call Luke a newbie, we get to call you Intern. Also I do not know how to say your first name."

 "You could just call me St―"

Enough of this. Spencer closes the last stretch of distance, batting your hand away from Intern’s shoulders as he kicks him out himself, slamming the door in his face. Spencer turns on his heel to face you, caging you both. “You―” He pants, chest heaving for air.

“Me?”

“You-him-we―”

You’re unfazed, simply nodding at him and his odd behavior. If anything, you’re enjoying this as your lips twitch in a poor attempt to withhold your amusement, trying to cover it with a slurp of your cup. Then again, it’s not everyday you get to see Spencer, face flushed from exertion, speechless as he gasps for breath.

(At least not at work… In the break room specifically.)

It takes a minute as Spencer swallows a few times, but his heart’s erratic and it’s not just from running through the entire building. When he’s got enough air, he blurts out, “Did I do something?”

Your brow shoots up. “What?”

“Did I forget something important? Upset you in some way?”

“No? I don’t think so?” You frown at him, your answers more like questions. 

It only spurs him on, and though his tone is frantic and his eyes just as wild as his hair, you’re more intrigued than frightened. Definitely confused.

“Okay, but you know I love you, right?”

“Yes and I love you too but Spence, what’s this about?" Setting down your mug, you look at him like he's grown another head.

Spencer sighs, "I just… you…" He frowns, glancing between you, the floor, and the empty space between you. 

Spencer Reid is a man of words. Many, many words, according to all his friends and his coworkers. Mainly knowledge―he's never been great with feelings―but as you gaze at him, patiently waiting for him to gather his thoughts, he wants to melt into the floor. There's not a hint of annoyance on your features, your eyes warm and inviting. 

He's so in love with you.

Then like scripture the words come, natural without much stuttering or hesitancy. He recounts the last two weeks. The internship so far, the times you've left Spencer behind for him, the times you just talked about him, like the guy (practically a stranger) is your new best friend. Usually, pretty people make him tongue-tied and you do―god, you do―but at the same time only you make it so easy. Talking, expressing without fear of―

"Pfft―"

―Judgement. Pausing mid-sentence, Spencer gawks as your nose twitches and your blink rate increases. You purse your lips, a hand slapped over your mouth as it threatens to break out into a grin.

"Are you-are you laughing right now?" When he just poured his feelings out to you? 

That does it. You keel over, peels of laughter coming like a tsunami, crashing into him and Spencer loves your laugh but not when it's at him. 

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry, I shouldn't be laughing," you wheeze, gripping your stomach. Spencer pouts. There's even tears in your eyes. "But you're telling me this is all because you're jealous?"

He stutters, "Well-I-no-It’s just…" He wants to say ‘you're mine’, but as your eyes crinkle he knows there’s no need.

"That's kinda hot."

"Wha-really?" Wide-eyed, Spencer squeaks as you step closer to him, backing him into the door. His hands come up to his chest in a kitten-like manner yet at the same time protective―you'd never hurt him and you both know that―but you admit your initial reaction was poor when he laid his feelings bare. 

“Ahhhh Babe, you know there’s no one else for me but you.” Spencer blushes and you chuckle, taking his hands in yours. He let's you. “Also, as adorable as Intern is, one, I think I’d be able to tell if he was hitting on me, and two, he’s not really my type.”

Spencer swallows, “And what exactly is your type?”

“Hmm, let’s see,” Looking him up and down, you step closer, enough that your breath puffs against his chin. You smell like cheap coffee. “Tall, handsome doctors with messy, brown hair―” You lightly tug at one of his stray curls and he bites back a smile. 

“―and a cute nose―” Your hand moves to cup his cheek, bringing him down to peck the tip of his nose. It scrunches as Spencer breaks out into giggles. 

“―Who can recite classic literature. Who can bake like he belongs on The Great British Baking Show but can’t cook for shi―”

“Okay! Thank you, I get it,” Spencer says, almost completely relaxed now.

“Good,” You nod with finality. “And for your information, I wasn’t trying to make you jealous."

He raises an eyebrow. "So you just abandoned me and talked about another guy for the hell of it?"

Spencer's tone is casual, joking even but you know better. There's underlying bitterness and hurt and your heart squeezes because you did that. "No, of course not. There is a reason behind all that.“

“What could possibly excuse you going above and beyond your job as a mentor―”

“I was trying to set you guys up.”

Spencer deadpans. “Set me up? With him?” Oh god, he knows you’re weird, but he’s never considered you to be outright insane (is it weird he still loves you?).

As if reading his thoughts, you roll your eyes, “Spencer, how many friends do you have outside the team?”

“Not a lot.” No hesitation, but he accepted the fact a long time ago. 

“Yeah and that’s okay. But if you’d talk to Intern, you’ll find you two have a lot in common. I know he’s younger than us, but he’s a good kid, real smart,” You give him a meaningful look and shrug, “Not like IQ 187 smart but he could definitely hold a conversation with you.”

Spencer murmurs, pulling you in so you're chest to chest, “This entire time, you were really trying to make us friends?”

You nod, your expression a mix of giddiness and hope that makes whatever feelings he felt before, the confusion and―yes, fine―the jealousy, dissolve like sugar in water. Spencer sinks into you, burying his face into the crook of your neck and inhaling your soap. Of course you had good intentions. Of course you wanted to do something nice for him.

Fuck, he loves you.

“So… we good?”

Spencer huffs, “I hope you realize how much I suffered the past few weeks.”

“I know, I’m sorry.”

“Then yes, we’re good,” He mumbles into your shoulder, “I appreciate what you were trying to do.”

“And?”

His brow furrows and he pulls back, meeting your eyes. “And what?”

“Will you try to be friends?” You look at him expectantly.

Spencer opens his mouth to answer, a definitive no on his tongue, but then you’re giving him puppy-dog eyes and before he realizes it, “Okay.”

Wait, no. That is not what he meant to say.

“Yeah!” You throw your arms around him, and Spencer can’t stop you, grunting as you basically swing him around like a rag doll. But he finds he doesn’t care when you set him back down because you’re happy, happy for him, grinning ear to ear as you babble, “I can already tell you two are gonna be the best of friends! You guys have so much to talk about, all that nerdy stuff. Maybe even debate! And we could play chess and―”

There’s a knock and you both turn, a voice muffled by the door, “Hey, guys? I don’t want to interrupt in case you’re boning, but you didn’t exactly tell me where to wait for you? God, I hope you guys aren’t boning. Please tell me you’re not boning right now.”

You groan, “No Intern, we’re not boning! Right-uh-go ahead and meet me back at the office, I’ll be right with you.” You turn back to Spencer, sending him an apologetic look. “I will see you later, okay? And since you’ve been such a patient and understanding partner,” You plant him one last kiss before patting his cheek, and his eyes widen as your voice lowers in the way you know drives him crazy, your eyes glinting with mischief, “I’ll make it up to once we get home. Bye, love you!”

Before Spencer can fully register your words, you're out the door, cackling as you leave him to compose himself, his face beet red from running the possibilities. By the time he emerges from the break room, you’re long gone.

“Hi, Dr. Reid?”

Spencer almost snarls, cursing under his breath. Just when he thought the day was getting better. He turns back. 

Intern stands tall, relaxed and shoulders back, black tie loose and cheap white-collar button up slightly wrinkled. No doubt from working hard and following your instructions throughout the day. Spencer respects the work ethic at least. Meanwhile, the younger man eyes him, and he’s certain it’s not from intimidation but with curiosity.

Spencer doesn’t linger on that. He’s used to it, not being intimidating to others.

He continues, “It’s nice to finally talk to you, one on one I mean. I’m a fan of your work. Seven degrees, huh?”

“Yeah,” Spencer says curtly. Recalling the earlier conversation with you, he stamps down his irritation and tries to extend an olive branch. “How did you know?”

“It’s the internet, sir,” Intern raises an eyebrow, offering an innocent smile. 

“Right,” Spencer returns it with an awkward one of his own, “Hey, sorry for... literally kicking you out before. That was completely unprofessional.”

Intern waves him off, “No, it’s cool. I totally get it. I’m flattered, by the way.”

Spencer frowns. “Flattered?”

“Well, it’s not everyday you find out your superior’s jealous of you.”

Spencer blinks, and it takes all his experience as a profiler to mask his embarrassment. “You heard that.”

“The FBI’s got thin walls,” Intern shrugs and steps towards him. “Although I have to say, Agent (Your Last Name) is wrong about one thing.” Stopping short in front of him, for the first time Spencer is close enough to note the moles dotting his face. “They can’t tell that I’m flirting with them.” 

He starts down the hall after you, and Spencer’s eyes trail after him as his brow furrows, until realization slams into him and his jaw drops. “Wait, you...”

“Oh and since (Your Last Name) wants us to be friends, I think we could be on a first-name basis,” He pauses to look back at Spencer, watching with a crooked smile as the older man sputters. 

“So, you can call me Stiles, sir.”

Then once again, Spencer is left behind, frozen in the hallway as he processes what just happened.

And the next time he finds you and Special Agent Stilinski in the same room, whether it’s crowded or not, Spencer does not hesitate to cling to your side, putting as much distance between the intern and you as he can. Spencer’s grateful you don’t question it.

There may not be anyone else for you, but that doesn’t mean no one will try.

―

AN: ahhhhh thanks anon!! There was a similar request then i saw this tiktok (and listened to this tiktok the entire time) and i combined them. Id also like to emphasize that my version of reader is neutral across the board, race, gender, etc.

Yes, i have a type. No, i will not be taking criticism. 

Been hella overwhelmed with classes and work so here’s my way of destressing. Also suggest checking those tiktoks if you wanna understand me :))) also you mean to tell me i have to write the threesome myself?? Bs tbh 😔

watched 15x4 and i was so sad when Spencer addressed Luke as his coworker like no bitch hes your new bro stfu

and i have no doubt that stiles and spencer would be one of the best crossover duos given the chance 

#spencer reid x reader #mgg x reader #matthew gray gubler x reader #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x y/n #mgg fanfiction #mgg imagine #mgg x y/n #matthew gray gubler x oc #matthew gray gubler imagine #mgg fic #criminal minds x y/n #criminal minds x oc #criminal minds x reader #stiles stilinksi x reader

[kithtaehyung]

Room 3 | PJM

summary: it’s just another normal day for you at the wellness center until it suddenly isn’t.  note: standalone for now! part 2 is semi-written but no solid plans atm. note 2 (june 7th, 2021): this will be revamped in the future! i really enjoyed this premise so i won’t get rid of it completely.  pairing: idol!jimin x massage therapist!reader  genre: fluff  word count: 9,188

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Thirteen. 

The sidewalk underneath your feet has thirteen cracks in the little square you stand in.  Sliding a small rock into one of them provides you with something to do until you hear the squeaking, screeching brakes of a bus struggling to a stop in front of you.  

You adjust the strap on your shoulder as the doors open with a hydraulic hiss, and you give the driver a small smile before finding a place to stand.  There aren’t many people commuting today, so it’s a pleasant surprise that you get to sit down for a change. 

It was just another day in your life.  You got up this morning and did your routine, listened to your wake up music on repeat, and checked that you had your wallet, phone, keys, and earphones before heading down to the bus stop.  The very same earphones are still on as you now have your library on shuffle, and you hum along to the “na na na’s” of the current tune. 

Living in Seoul for about a year now, you were pretty settled in.  The people were accommodating, the quality of life was much better than where you were before, and you felt like you could live here for the rest of your days.  It was insanely tough at first, but the initial culture shock and feeling of loneliness lessened as you made friends and befriended coworkers.  You don’t have many people close to you here, but you can count on the ones that are.  

You turn your head to gaze out the windows.  Shimmering glass buildings tower over you, shops and street signs whiz by, and people look like they’re walking in slow motion as you follow them with your eyes.  Blips of pastels and bold colors mingle together and you look down to observe your own monochrome uniform.  For the place you worked at, you didn’t expect the clothes to look luxurious, but they’re actually designed very well.  And they’re soft.  

That’s enough for you.    

Your stop is next, so you hook your arm around the nearest pole to prep.  The steel has a coldness that seeps into your sleeve, but your only thought is wondering what you should eat for lunch.  

-

Why do you feel so tense? 

The sign right above you emits a sense of relaxation, but there’s a tightness in your shoulders.  Odd.  You lock your phone with one hand and grip the strap of your pack with the other before taking a deep breath.  You count down from three before letting it out.  

The hiss of your exhale mingles with the standard sounds of the city, and you concentrate on the flow of life both inside your body and the environment around you.  You did this often when you felt out of place, and it served to recalibrate you and your thoughts.  Storing your phone away, you make your way inside the frosted glass doors. 

Working at one of Seoul’s prestigious wellness centers was definitely something you were proud of.  If there was one thing you’ve wanted for years, it was for a way for you to massage yourself.  Everyone seemed to love your massages, but no one knew how to massage you.  That is, until you came here.  You’ve never experienced people knowing exactly where you were hurting and effectively working out all of those kinks during one session.  It was magical.   

What is even more magical is the fact that you joined the ranks of those same angels from above.  You love them, and they love you.

“Good morning! I hate you!” 

Well.

“Morning, Yoon,” you respond lowly as you take your earphones out and store them. “Love you, too.” As you walk around front reception, Yoon smiles at you and comments, 

“No, really, I think you legitimately repulse me now.”

You shoot her a look of pure terror. “What the hell did I do?”

“Nothing,” she sighs, dropping her eyes to the papers in front of her.  

In a state of panic, your mind speeds through any events that happened since the last time you saw her.  Did you accidentally ignore her once?  Look at her funny?  Yoon was big on body language. 

You didn’t realize you were still staring at her until she tapped the glass counter between you two.  “Hey, I’m sorry. I know you’re nervous. I just thought jokes would help.” 

What? 

“I’m not nervous, just tense for some reason.  Although, you definitely made it worse,” you admit, “I might need to take a longer break today and somehow get Jay to rub my shoulders.  Maybe I can bribe him with samgy--” 

“--Uhh, forget him; have you even checked your client list for this week?  I’ll do anything if you switch your schedule with me.” 

Double-what?

“Okay, now you’re just being weird,” you chuckle, “But also, no, I haven’t checked yet.  It’s Monday!”   

In a sing-song manner, Yoon warns, “You better check your schedule before I snatch it...”

You laugh again and wave her off, but her words only mess with your head.  As you make your way to the back room, you fidget and check your phone for any notifications you missed between when you exited the bus and now.  You don’t know what you expected: still nothing.  

As if you feel the weight of eyes on you, you glance up and notice some people are giving you looks.  

What in the hell is going on?  It’s 7am on a Monday and therefore way too early for people to be this upset with you.  Yoon may have said she was joking, but by the looks of everyone else...

A hand claps onto your shoulder, causing you to yelp and feel like you rocket right into the ceiling.  Only the hearty laugh beside you clues you in on who you were getting revenge on later. 

“Geez, someone’s not looking forward to today.” 

“You better sleep with one eye open tonight, Jay,” you seeth, hands rubbing your temples as you struggle to steady your heart rate. ��Also, what’s so special about today?  Yoon was being strange just a second ago, too.”  

Your coworker looks at you like you have seven heads. “Okay, first off: if I had the amount of adrenaline in your body right now, I wouldn’t be able to sleep at all.  And second: you didn’t check your schedule yet?” 

They didn’t know it, but they were going to be the death of you. 

“No, I ha--It’s a Mon--you know what, I’m going to check now; you guys are killing me.” You leave Jay in a rush and race to the employee lounge.  The anxiousness in your chest is bubbling over.  

Jay’s on your heels, whispering loudly, “I can spoil it right now if you want!” 

You respond in a low voice, “Don’t you have a client to see?” 

“Nope!” 

You round the corner and see the back room door is already open, so you power through and head straight for the docking table on the other side.  Everyone working here has a personal tablet, and you unplug yours from the charging port.  Pressing through the menus as quickly as the tablet allows, you feel a thin layer of sweat on your skin.  Touch ID.  Login.  Main Menu.  Scheduling.  Weekly Outlook.  Confidentiality Prompt.

Shit. 

Confidentiality Prompts are for the therapists that have huge clients scheduled.  They’re put in place for celebrities and business executives to have guaranteed privacy.  

With a start, you wonder why the hell Yoon wanted your schedule.  Everyone here is wary of high-profile people.  It’s a whole different experience since they basically hold your life in their hands in each session.  You recall a horror story that happened when you first started working there, and still don’t know where that employee ended up.  

Your only problem is that you’ve never had to deal with this before.  Jay, Yoon, and a bunch of the veterans have, but this is going to be your first. 

“Damn, yours is longer than mine was,” Jay observes before you squeeze your tablet to your chest.  “That looks intense.” 

“Umm, snoopy much?” You shift your body away from him and speed read through the very long, very wordy window.  When you hit Accept, another window pops up that you have to read through.  This one is even more fine print. You suddenly realize something and dart your eyes up.  “Wait, you got one, too?” 

Jay nods and looks away, and he actually looks nervous.  “Yeah, we all got them this time.” 

Now that is alarming.  This client must be something else. 

Window after window comes up and you wonder if you should probably read these in earnest.  It’s starting to genuinely scare you.  

If this is that big of a deal… 

You banish that thought from your mind as soon as it appears.  Elephants would have to fall from the sky before you believe someone from that group is booking you here.   

You hit Accept before you realize you didn’t actually read and instead mindlessly scrolled through the prompts.  As the screen buffers, you bite your lip.

The screen goes back to normal and presents your schedule for today.  Your coworkers are living their normal lives, putting their stuff in their lockers and getting materials ready for various sessions.  Jay is being completely normal as he can’t stop laughing at your expression.  

And your life is anything but normal anymore because elephants are dropping from the clouds and the words Monday, 8am, Park Jimin are staring you right in the face. 

-

“You mean to tell me that you cleared your morning schedule just to see my reaction?” 

Jay laughs in earnest. “Yes, and it was so worth it.” 

You are failing to stop bouncing your leg as you wait at one of the tables in the employee lounge.  There’s a cup of coffee in front of you, but you already know you aren’t going to drink a drop of it.  You are about to be in close quarters with the equivalent of a royal family member, so coffee breath is out of the question. 

Suddenly self-conscious, you ask, “Do you have a toothbrush I can borrow?” 

“I actually do.  Let me grab it.” 

As your friend gets up, you scrutinize the table in front of you to avoid peoples’ lingering stares.  How everyone somehow knew your upcoming client before you did was a mystery, but you don’t really care enough at the moment to find out.   

Jay hands you what you asked for and you thank him before heading to the bathroom to freshen up.  After you brush your teeth like a madman, you check your face for discrepancies and sigh at your choice of almost no makeup today.  

You can’t help but wonder if the thirteen cracks in the sidewalk are laughing at you at this very moment.  

Checking your smart watch, you realize you have either the longest or shortest 30 minutes of your life left before your appointment with Jimin.  

You huff out a laugh at how ridiculous that sounds.  You refuse to believe this is real until you physically see him in the room.  Confidentiality forms or not, the name Park Jimin or not, you still can’t wrap your head around the situation. 

Speaking of the forms, you assume that they were printed out for company records as soon as you submitted yours to sign.  You decide to head back to the front desk after throwing Jay his spare toothbrush, to which he responds with pure disgust. 

-

It was like Yoon was waiting for you because as soon as you open the glass doors, she’s  hounding you, “So what did you do in a past life?  Did you save an emperor?  Rescue a prophet?” 

“I don’t know about a past life, but I did save a turtle when I was five.”  You tap your fingers on the reception desk and stare at the orchids on the counter.  “Or at least I thought I did.  I probably just made his life harder.  Can I see a copy of the forms I signed?” 

“I’m gonna go with the saved prophet.  Which one was it?” 

“Yoon,” you beg, desperate as you glance at the abstract clock above her and see that you have 20 minutes left.  A mere 20 minutes until he is supposed to arrive to check-in.

“Okay, okay!  Hold on,” she chuckles and rolls her chair away from you and towards the printer.  “By the way, if I wasn’t the one checking him in, I would’ve hijacked your entire day already.”  

Her words are garbled since you are laser-focused on rubbing an orchid petal between your fingers.  Its soft and supple touch is calming you, and just for a second, you are able to clear your thoughts.  

You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding when Yoon hands you the forms.  The paper is still warm as you thank her and head towards the doors. 

“Oh, wait,” Yoon calls behind you, and you turn to see her grabbing another small stack of papers.  When she extends them over the counter, she explains, “I was waiting until you saw your schedule to hand these over.  Read through them carefully.”

“Thanks,” you whisper, even more anxious than before. 

-

Your heart jumps into your throat when you see what Yoon handed over.  You don’t even remember the walk to the back lounge and to one of the secluded tables; all you can focus on are the papers in front of you.  They look like they were written on and scanned before being sent over to the wellness center.   

It’s Jimin’s handwriting.  

You’ve seen his penmanship before.  There is no mistaking the neat, determined strokes.  Even the way he checked the boxes and circled the pain points on diagrams proves very... well, him.  Any other uncertainty dissolves after you see his birthday filled in, as well.  

This is really happening.

You gently slam the papers on the table and hunch over to commit the information to memory.  Months and months of schooling have sharpened this ability of yours, and you are determined to imagine this as just another client you have to memorize.  

Light to medium pressure.  Avoid anything above light pressure around the spinal area and lower back.  Shoulders, calves, and feet are pain points.  Facial area priority.   

A trip to the countryside right at this very moment sounds like a fantastic idea.  

Jay plops into the seat in front of you, and that thought bubble bursts.  “This color on your face suits you.  Reminds me of what’s-his-name, Edward.” 

“How much time do I have,” you question, not even acknowledging him.  

“Seven minutes.” 

“Of course,” you mutter before standing, the irony not lost on you.  “I’ll go prep now.” 

You don’t see Jay waving you off.  “If you survive, I’ll see you on the other side!” 

A laugh escapes you.  Personally, your only goal is to make it through five minutes.  If you pass away after that, you would have no regrets. 

-

You stand behind the reception doors with your tablet to your chest, staring at the wall across the way.  The subtle wallpaper pattern is a great choice for this place, you decide. 

Indescribable anxiousness and fear aside, you have a job to do.  As long as you keep your outside actions professional, your inner turmoil can be whatever the hell it wants.  You’ve been in this profession long enough and you know you’re ready to do this.  You’ve seen the whole spectrum of human emotion in this line of work.  No matter how well of a job you do, there are still people that are never happy.  As long as you focus on keeping the client’s wellness and health in mind, you keep your consciousness clear.   

Then again, you haven’t had to deal with a client like Park Jimin before, let alone a high executive or well-known actress.  

A muffled “Good morning and welcome” reaches your ears and you push yourself off the wall.  The frosted glass only allows you to see so much, but you can make out a few guys standing in the front area.  Two are taller and only wearing dark clothes, and the other is a bit shorter.  The latter is looking to be wearing a beanie, light colored top, and dark pants.

You can’t hear anyone talking other than Yoon, but suddenly the shorter one makes his way to your doors.  

It’s him.  You’re absolutely sure. 

Steeling your resolve, you pull your side open.  With a smile, you look straight at your client’s sunglasses-and-mask-clad face and greet him just like you would anyone else, “Good morning and welcome.  Am I speaking to Mr. Park?”

He stills for a second before he nods. 

“Nice to meet you.  We’ll be in Room 3.”

-

Jimin bows to you slightly and whispers a thank you, and you follow him to your room.  Your heart is rattling nonstop as you note the height difference between the two of you.  It isn’t as bad as you thought it was.  

The door to Room 3 is already open, and when Jimin enters you stop at the entrance.  

You lied earlier.  None of this feels real.  He’s physically in the room, and you still don’t think this is happening.

You let Jimin put his bag down on the corner chair before gliding into the formal greeting, “Since this is our first session, please let me know if there’s anything you need.  I did go over your forms, but if there was something that wasn’t specified, feel free to ask.  I want to make sure all of your needs are met today.” 

“Your name?” 

You falter. “What?”  Did he just... 

Jimin takes off his sunglasses, and you feel all oxygen leave your body.  He’s still wearing a mask, but you can see that his eyes are creased just a tad.  “It wasn’t specified on the forms.  Your name?” 

A part of you just chalks this up to being standard Jimin behavior, but the other part of you wonders if he really didn’t know whom he was getting a massage from.  Did Yoon not tell him?  Check-in is supposed to confirm your specialist. 

You also note that his voice is infinitely softer in person.  TV and recordings did not do this man justice.  

Keeping it professional is all you must do.  You tell him your name, apologizing for not introducing yourself already.  It’s also on your tablet, so you show him while you talk. 

Jimin leans forward to read it and smiles again. “Ah.  Pretty.” 

Are your five minutes up?  Can you pass away now?  He’s a mere six feet away from you but it feels like his presence is engulfing you. 

All that escapes you is a tiny thank you.  “So, mhm,” you clear your throat and yell at yourself to get it together, “Go ahead and undress down to your comfort level and lie down on the bed with the sheet on top of you.  That remote there is connected to my tablet, so just take it off the charger and bring it to the bed. You can press the green button whenever you’re ready.” 

Jimin looks towards the console table next to him and sees the white remote.  It’s docked in a sleek charging port and stands out against the light wood.  He nods, and you give him one last smile before reaching out and closing the door.

-

The only words your brain can process at the moment are not work appropriate, so you just go on autopilot to the employee lounge.  You expected Jay or even Yoon to be chomping at your heels as soon as you left Jimin by himself, but neither of them are around.  That was completely fine: employees aren’t allowed to divulge anything that goes on in client sessions unless it’s dangerous to either of you. 

You help yourself to a cup of water and down it before pouring another.  The fruit flavor for today is strawberry, and you watch the fruit and ice swirl around as you stir the big glass container.  There are pastries and assorted breakfast foods calling your name in the clear cabinet next to you, but you refuse.  Your adrenaline is hindering your appetite.  

People are still giving you daggers for stares, but after seeing Jimin in person you really can’t blame them.  Even when you couldn’t even see his face, you felt his presence.  His aura filled up that entire room and he only spoke around ten words.  It would be a lie to say that you aren’t intimidated.  You can already count the number of times you almost bolted out of the room on two hands.  But you made yourself proud: as long as you keep your outer actions calm, you can get through this.  Your voice was fairly level for someone whose heart was bouncing out of their ribcage.  In the end, you want to make him feel comfortable and safe.  Emotions cannot exist right now.

Self-deprecation comes into play as you wonder if this is a huge mistake and if Jimin is already out the door to find a better therapist.  

Oh, well.  At least he said your name was pretty. 

Your doubts are casted aside as your tablet dings.  

Jimin’s ready for you. 

-

When you enter the room, you can see that your client followed your instructions completely.  You glance at the corner chair and see that he even folded his clothes and set his jewelry neatly on the thin, long table.  Since Jimin can’t see you from his position, you allow a warm smile to grace your features.  

You close the door as softly as you can.  The way the room is designed, the clients lie down so that their head is opposite the doorway.  It takes you a few steps until you reach the head of the bed.  You gingerly take the remote from where Jimin placed it next to his neck and turn around to redock it, and start to dim the lights with your tablet.  Per standard, you ask, “Mr. Park, is this okay, or would you like the lights lower?” 

His voice is projecting straight towards the floor, but it still sounds so light, “This is good, but please, call me Jimin.”  

That’s definitely not what you expected, but you are touched.  You nod before realizing that he still can’t see you.  “Do you have a music preference for today?”

“Whatever you prefer is fine.”  

Jimin is being so agreeable that your nerves start to dissipate.  You were expecting him to at least be a little particular at some things, but he is being really easy to work with.  The atmosphere starts to feel safe enough for you to joke, “Well, it does depend on my mood, so for now I’ll play Standard Spa Chord Progression, No. 5 instead of No. 3.” 

The small chuckle you hear melts your heart.  “Ah, is that the one with the harp?” 

“No, that’s Spa Concerto, No. 4. We don’t have that one in our library, but I think it’s terrible anyways.” 

Jimin’s head lifts from the table in an earnest laugh, and you can’t help but laugh with him.  It’s infectious.  

You select a random song on your tablet, and you weren’t lying when you said it was standard.  The song is less of a song and more like a bunch of reverberating chords in slow succession.  That’s one thing you noticed about this place: modern tech but very outdated music.  Get with the times!  At least have some nice piano covers to choose from. 

“Not having Spa Concerto, No. 4 may be a deal-breaker for me,” Jimin comments, a hint of a smile in his voice.  

You’re still tapping on your tablet to get to his file, and you make your way back to the door.  There’s a clear slot on each room’s door to hold employee tablets, and as soon as you store yours, you can finally start.  “I don’t blame you, even though I think it’s awful, that one still topped the char--Oh, shit!”   

You aren’t watching where you’re going, so you don’t see the shoes in your path.  It’s so dim in the room and his shoes match the floor color but none of that matters because right now you are falling and you are falling fast.  Your first instinct is to grab the table, but that would risk pulling the blanket off of Jimin and you would rather die than do that to him. 

So, floor it is.

Your hand not holding the tablet breaks some of the fall, but your face definitely makes contact with the ground.  You can feel the slight burn on your nose and hand, and a sharp lingering pain follows.  

Okay, now can you pass away.  Someone from the heavens can come claim you now.    

Drowning in shame, you don’t help yourself off the floor right away.  Not only were you breaking your rule and joking around, you also weren’t paying attention and now possibly ruined Park Jimin’s shoes.  

You’ll look up good resigning practices later tonight.  You have enough money saved up to make it a couple months without a job, you reckon.  

When you finally lift yourself off the floor, you turn around and see Jimin pushed up on the table.  His whole upper body is bare and twisted towards you, and this is the first time you see his entire face.  It’s more beautiful in person, you conclude, even though it conveys nothing but concern right now.  “Are you okay?” 

You nod furiously and stand up completely. Your voice is shaky as you apologize, “I am so sorry.  One moment.” Before checking yourself, you check your personal tablet.  To say it was worth more than you isn’t that far of a reach.  No scratches, though. Praise be.

“Don’t apologize… Did you trip on my shoes?”

Embarrassment washes over you as you nod, not looking at Jimin.  Placing your tablet gingerly on the console table, you dust your uniform down and inspect your hands and feel your nose.  Luckily, there’s no blood, only slight rug burns.  If there was blood, you would have to postpone the appointment until you effectively sanitized.  With what you have, you just need to go wash up.  

Jimin is still watching you intently, which makes your face burn even more.  What a mess.  He’s probably second-guessing this whole thing.  

You bow, feeling tears at the corners of your eyes.  “Mr. Park, I am so sorry.” 

“Jimin.” 

“I’ll just need to clean my hands and then I promise we will start as soon as I get back.  I know your time is valuable so I’ll make up for the minutes we lost.” 

“I… Okay.  Thank you.” 

You make your way out of the room, still courteous enough to shut the door quietly.  Rushing to the nearest sink, a small sob leaves your throat as you wring your hands under the water.  Life is kind to you at this moment because no one is around.  You would never live it down if someone saw you coming out of Jimin’s room crying.  

After splashing water on your face and drying it, you take out a cotton pad from one of the glass containers on the counter.  You press it onto your eyes, decreasing the evidence of your current state.  

So much for making Jimin feel safe and comfortable.  You’ve only made it awkward.   

-

With a deep breath, you enter the room.  

Jimin turns his head and puts it in the crook of his arm to look back at you.  “Are you sure you’re okay?  I’m sorry I couldn’t help you…”  

You go over to his shoes and move them under the chair, wincing when you see visible tears on them.  Guess you’re withdrawing a chunk of your savings to pay Park Jimin for damages.  

“I assure you, I’m fine,” you state firmly, but soften, “But I’m really sorry about the shoes; I may have torn them.  I can pay you back.” 

You hear sheets shuffling, and when you face him, Jimin’s fully on one elbow and turned towards you.  “No, please, don’t worry about those.  I should’ve put them out of the way.  I feel bad.”   

“It’s definitely my fault,” you countered, “You didn’t do anything wrong.” 

Jimin uses your name, which stops you in your tracks.  “Everything’s okay, I promise.”

You should feel many different things, like pride in getting to see this man in person, or happiness from him actually addressing you by name.  But all you can think about in this moment is how disappointing you’ve been to another human being, and you sigh.  

You nod, but still plan to pay him back.  You know enough about designer brands to know those aren’t cheap, and they’re shoes you’ve seen him wearing a lot in photos.  

“It’s okay to lie back down,” you say softly, unmoving.  

Jimin searches your face one more time before settling back face-down on the table.  

It’s a normal day at work, you tell yourself.  Go through your routine.  

Launching yourself into action, you move to the far end of the console table.  Grabbing a bottle you’ve clutched so many times before that its label is wearing down, you uncap it and oil your hands and wrists.  You also unstopper a bottle of lavender oil and pour a few drops into the nearby bamboo diffuser and start it.  

You make your way to the head of the table and grab a rolling stool from a corner of the room.  The wheels on your chair don’t make any noise, which you fixed up yourself.  This day isn’t any different - it’s still silently gliding on the carpet.  Plopping your devastated self onto the cushion, you scoot towards Jimin’s head.  You’re about to place your hands onto his bare shoulders to start, but you whisper,

“It’s also okay if you want to cancel and reschedule with someone else, Mister--Um, Jimin.” 

You can’t believe you just gave Park Jimin a way out of a whole 60 minutes with you.  Where did this conviction and restraint come from?  Is this going to be the regret of your entire lifetime? 

After a long silence, Jimin answers with his face in the headrest, “If you call me Mister Jimin again, then I will.”

You huff out a laugh at his unexpected answer, and your shoulders finally relax.  It seems like he’s still fine after everything that’s happened, and you thank any deity you can think of for this second chance.  

-

Light to medium pressure.  Avoid anything above light pressure around the spinal area and lower back.  Shoulders, calves, and feet are pain points.  Facial area priority. 

You aren’t a fan of light pressure, but you understand why people prefer it.  Not everyone can handle the deep tissue or harder pressure massages. 

Jimin’s shoulders are incredibly tense, though, so you feel bad that you’re limited in what you can do.  You allow some medium pressure to the worst spots, and when you approach the insides of his shoulder blades you lessen the intensity.  

Gliding your fingers back to the ridge between his neck and shoulders, you feel that his right is still tight.  You use your left elbow to work that knot, careful to press even lighter than you would with your hands. 

Jimin grunts, and you still. “Is that too much?”

“No, I like that.”

You keep that in mind as your hands travel over the rest of his upper back area.  From time to time, you reapply the oil to allow for less friction.  It lets your fingers slide deftly across muscles and quickly work any troublesome areas, which Jimin has a lot of.

It makes sense: you can’t even imagine the amount of pressure all of the boys were constantly dealing with.  There was a lull in their activity recently, so you knew something was in the works.  Between recording songs, shooting music videos, fulfilling their brand contracts, and whatever else they do, you’re surprised you don’t feel more knots under Jimin’s skin. 

The soft chords of the next song float around the room, and you lose yourself in your movements.  You can’t see his face, which makes it a lot easier.  You worked through his whole upper body, neck, and upper arms area so naturally that you were admiring his wrist tattoo before remembering who you were massaging.    

For the seven hundredth time that day, you cannot believe this is happening.  You really hope Jimin does feel safe here despite your whirlwind of thoughts.  Have you kept it professional enough?  Neutral enough?  He seemed to be fine with your joking earlier, and he didn’t seem upset about the shoes in the least.  

But still… Maybe he was just tolerating you because it’s the same situation for him, different place and day.  Putting yourself in his shoes, you would feel pity for you trying your best to accommodate him.  The pressure over everyone everywhere you go had to be exhausting.  It couldn’t ever be normal.  

Your shoulders suddenly slump under the weight of what you feel for him.  

And Jimin seems to notice.  “Really, it’s okay about the shoes.  Those were getting pretty worn anyways.” 

You still.  Of course he thought you were still fussing over the shoes and not over his life.  His unending consideration was like a burning hearth: it made you feel so warm.

“Okay,” you respond softly, “I understand.” 

“Good.  If you worry about them again, I’m walking out barefoot,” Jimin says sternly, even though you know he’s kidding.  “And don’t test me, I’ve done it before.” 

Your words leave you before you think.  “I don’t believe you.” 

“Oh?” 

Jimin puts his hands on the table and you yelp, “Okay, okay, stop!” 

He laughs and plops his arms back down flat.  You lament as you still can see how his muscles bulge in your mind.  

You shake your head and sigh before rolling to his left and softly taking his arm.  His skin is so soft you don’t even need the oil, you notice.  You work his forearm before moving down to his wrist and fingers.  Thinking about Jimin’s threat, you are pretty curious.  “Be honest: did that really happen?” 

“It didn’t,” he responds immediately, “But I thought about it once.  My shoes were killing my feet so I thought about walking without them until I found a shoe store.” 

It sounds so childish to you that you chuckle.  “Where was this,” you ask, completely intrigued now.

“Ah, I honestly can’t remember.  I think somewhere in Europe.”

“...Did you just pick an entire continent because you couldn’t remember?”

“...There’s seven continents and one of them is Antarctica!  Picking one out of six is easy.”

This man is something else. You finally finish off his right side, and you gingerly set his arm down on the table.  With a mental pat on the back, you get ready for the next part of the routine.  In your softest therapist voice, you instruct, “Okay, go ahead and turn over and slide down until your head is on the table.”

Jimin obeys right away, shifting over and moving down.  The white sheet slips down his body a bit, and you diligently pull it up until it’s covering everything up to his neck.  During this, you feel rather than see his eyes on you, so you don’t dare yourself to look. 

You go back to your plethora of containers to re-oil, and roll your chair to the foot of the table. All that time, Jimin thankfully has his eyes closed. 

You were equal parts dreading and looking forward to this part of the massage since his face was going to be visible.  This way, you can’t escape the reality of the situation.  

But you decided to follow the flow of the conversation.  You learned the subtle nuances of human communication throughout your experiences: when people wanted to talk or stay quiet, if they were liking the conversation or not, etc. Jimin seems to be fine with talking despite your assumption that he was going to be quiet for the most part.  It has definitely made this easier for you, though. 

“I want to visit all seven continents one day,” you decide to admit. 

“I do, too,” Jimin responds, eyes still closed. “How many do you have left?”

You start on his feet, working along the smooth skin. 

“Uhh, well,” you whisper, “A good chunk. I’ve only been here and back where I’m from, and I just moved here around a year ago.”

After you tell Jimin where you were before, he sounds amazed, “You seem like you’ve lived here for so long. I wouldn’t have guessed.”

He’s definitely being nice.  You are just now getting decent at the language and customs, but there is still a lot you have to learn.

“But, I do want to start traveling again for a specific reason,” you divulge, sighing to yourself as you think yet again about your lofty dreams.

“Which reason is that,” Jimin asks, and you somehow know his eyes are open now. 

Your own eyes betray you as you connect your gaze with his. “I want to experience different techniques in person.” You don’t know he can feel the fire behind your eyes. “There’s no better teacher than experience, at least to me. I know I’m good at what I do currently, but there’s so much out there that I want to learn and get better at.”

You debate whether to keep going or not.  Jimin’s eyes are alight with curiosity, so you take that as your cue. It’s surreal that you get to talk about your dream with him of all people, so you strive to make it count. “Take music, for example: everyone agrees that music is healing, therapeutic.  But, there’s so many genres, so many ways to create it.  I see massage as the same way: therapeutic, but many different ways to make people feel better.” 

Jimin is silent as he tears his gaze from you to look at the ceiling. You concentrate on his ankles, working them as delicately but effectively as you can.  A part of you wants to keep talking, but you don’t want to push it. You may have said too much as it is.

The next song has soft chimes to accompany the rippling chords.  Lavender wafts through the air and quells your nerves.  You continue to Jimin’s lower legs and glide your fingers along the flow of his muscles.  When you feel a break or disturbance, you stop and tend to it until you feel it’s balanced.  After his lower legs are done, you move on to his thighs.  You feel tightness all over, and you apply medium pressure to these areas because of how much muscle they contain.  

Jimin’s legs are a work of art on the outside, but so chaotic on the inside.  The chakra highways are disjointed, and you have worked through so many kinks in the roads.  If you imagine yourself as someone walking down a path, you are stopping every 10 steps to smooth over a pothole or breakdown a hill in the way.  You can’t see how this person can even walk, let alone perform on stage like this.  All of them never cease to amaze you.   

“Where would you start?”

Jimin’s sudden inquiry throws you.  You swear he was silent for a good ten minutes.  “What?” 

His eyes are glued to the ceiling still.  “Which places do you want to visit?  Like, where would you go to learn?” 

“Well…”  You are almost too stunned to speak.  He has been thinking about what you said this whole time?  Aren’t there plenty of more important things he needs to be thinking about right now?  “There’s this technique called amma that originates in Japan, and there’s an American technique called esalen that I want to learn, too.  I think that one is from California.”  

On a high from Park Jimin’s interest in your life, you ramble about a few more, your voice getting more animated the more you talk about different things.  It can’t be helped; you’ve been passionate about traveling and learning for so long.  You’ve just never been able to really try it since money was part of the equation.  Or more so out of the equation.  In addition, you didn’t really get to talk about it with anybody.  No one’s actually asked.  But somehow, Jimin did.  

When you realize you actually stopped massaging his thigh, you look up in horror to apologize, “Oh, I am so sorry - I didn’t mean to stop.” 

Jimin’s head is turned to the side, his hair falling into his eyes.  The smile gracing his face is soft.  “It’s okay,” he assures you, “I feel much better already anyways.” 

Your cheeks flush before he even stops talking.  “That’s good,” you whisper, “We’re almost done so I would hope so.” 

“What!” Jimin’s eyes dart to the clock on the table.  It’s already 8:50am.   

That saddens you a lot more than it should. 

“On second thought: I feel tense in my hand, I think you need to go back and redo it.  Here.”  He’s extending his right hand towards you as if to shake hands, and you laugh.  

“Nice try, Jimin,” you say, “But I do need to work on your face for the last part.  Close your eyes for me, please.” 

He stares at you for a second before obeying.  The smile from earlier makes a return.  

You roll your chair back to the head of the bed and plop down.  Jimin’s face is angelic even upside-down, and you pray to the heavens that you massage it perfectly.  

When you start, you quip, “See?  You’re so happy we’re almost done.” 

“No, no!” Jimin laughs.  “That’s not it.  You just called me Jimin - it was nice.”  

“Oh.”  You swear steam is billowing from your head.  How can he affect you so intensely?  And how were you keeping yourself together?  

With the resolve of a thousand emperors, maybe including one you probably did save in a past life, you steady your hands on his temples.  Rubbing in delicate circles, you start the last segment.  

Face massages are your favorite.  Even the smallest movements are invigorating, and you feel very refreshed after one.      

“When I come back, Spa Concerto, No. 4 better be available.” 

You smile.  There’s no way Jimin will be back, but you appreciate his friendly nature.  

“It’s not even all that great, but I’ll let them know,” you play along. “I’m more of a piano person, though. There’s a lot of piano covers saved in my phone that are way better.” 

Jimin’s eyes flash open at the same time he proclaims, “Ah, I love piano covers!  Especially on rainy days.”

“Mm,” you hum in agreement, “I can listen to those all the time.”

Your heart drops like a stone as you glance at the clock and see your time is up.  The hour absolutely flew by.  Dropping your eyes back onto Jimin’s face, you take your hands off his cheeks and say, “Okay, that’s the end of our session today.” You get up to dry your hands and lower arms with a cloth while going over the last steps, “I’ll leave you to get dressed, and I’ll come back to the room to give you water and some stretch and wellness recommendations moving forward. Just press the green button on the remote when you’re ready, like last time.”

When you turn back to him, Jimin’s fully propped up with his hands behind him. The blanket over him is draped across his body, just enough to cover his ribs.  He’s smiling right at you as he speaks, “Thank you.  You’re really good.” 

You bow in thanks, face lighting up like wildfire. “You were great, too,” you comment in return, immediately cringing inside. “I’ll be back when you’re ready for me.”

-

Right after you leave clients is when you start filling out their evaluation and wellness recommendations on your tablet.  You just worked on them, so the memories are fresh.  The forms are a mix of multiple choice and fill-in, and you recommend some specific stretches and deeper pressure for Jimin. 

This time, Jay is in the employee lounge when you come in to wait.  His legs uncross and he pops up from one of the modern loveseats that are just as firm as they look.  “She’s alive!” 

You roll your eyes but can’t hide the flush in your cheeks.  “I’m here, but barely,” you chuckle, your tablet dangling in your hand by your side, “I still can’t believe that actually happened.”

Jay leans in so that no one can hear what he has to say, which makes you suspicious since there’s no one around you.  In a low voice, he reveals, “Yoon and I made a bet.” 

“Wonderful,” you drawl, “I’m gonna walk away now.”  You can already tell this is one-hundred percent not in your favor.

“No, wait!” His whisper is loud. He bounces after you to the water and food station. While you fix yourself a cup, he continues, “Yoon thinks you’ll get done with the appointment unscathed, but I think you’ll come out of it with a problem.” 

Jay’s words remind you like alarm bells.  

You need to pay Jimin for damages.  

“Oh, shit, I need to get something,” you say in a rush, grabbing your tablet off the food station and scurrying to the locker room.  In the wellness center, the employee lounge is in the back, and the locker room is in the back of the lounge.  You think you still have time before Jimin is ready. 

There’s a notebook you keep in your bag along with a pencil case.  Tearing a sheet from the notebook, you write down what you think is a good estimate for the shoes.  Before you write anything else, you pause.  

You only skimmed through the confidentiality prompts, but you do remember a section about personal information.  Therapists aren’t allowed to give out their personal information unless specifically asked, and there has to be solid intent behind the client asking.  Jimin didn’t need to ask you for yours; he just said not to worry about it. 

After a good thirty seconds of your pen lingering above the paper, your tablet chimes.  

A split second decision has you crumpling the paper and chucking it in your bag.  You tear out a new sheet and tuck it with the pen under your tablet as you head back to Room 3.

-

You get to the room with a paper cup of water you grabbed on the way, and since you have things in both hands it’s a bit difficult getting the door open.  You try the handle but it only jiggles a bit.  One more try has you pushing the door right as the handle gives, and it works.

Jimin goes to you immediately when he sees your hands full, and you almost reel back from having him so close.  Which should be odd, since you were literally just with him for a full hour, and he was not fully clothed.  In the end, his presence alone is enough to affect you no matter the situation. 

You extend the cup to him and he grabs it with a small thank you.  

“I filled out your evaluation and it should be printed at the front already.  Make sure to drink more water after you leave,” you say with a smile, your chest heavy.  This was most likely the last interaction you would ever have with him. 

Jimin nods, his mask covering his smile but not his eyes.  He doesn’t say anything more. 

You almost leave it at that, but something in you doesn’t want this moment to end, so you take your chance. “And, umm,” you stutter as you fumble with the pen and paper.  You just lay your tablet on the massage table to free your hand, and click the pen open.  “How much should I pay you,” you ask, your gaze ironically on the very shoes you tripped over earlier. 

Jimin sets his cup down on the console table before taking the paper and pen from your hands.  You watch him write something - a price in Won most likely - as you explain, “I’m a big believer of making things right, so please let me pay for your shoes.  I should’ve seen them on the ground.”

He folds the paper and hands it back to you with the pen.  “If you insist.  But don’t check this until you get home.” 

“What, why?”  Your eyes dart to his face. 

Jimin stares at you before responding, “Nothing bad. It just might shock you.” 

Immediately, your gaze lowers.  If you tell anyone how your day went today, you would think they were weird if they believed you. If you tell anyone why you’re suddenly broke come this Wednesday, they would be lying if they just went with it.  “Okay, I won’t,” you assure him, and you’re telling the truth.  You are equal parts surprised and nervous that he’s allowing you to pay him back. 

With a deep breath, you give Jimin your best soft smile.  Your heart is hurting as you send him off, “Well, it was a pleasure.  Have a great rest of your day, Jimin.  Until next time.”  You catch yourself in a sea of emotion as your words die on your tongue.  The boys have schedules on schedules, so the likelihood of him stepping foot inside this wellness center again is minuscule at best.    

If anything, you’re grateful that you get to address him by name, and you succeeded in making this as smooth and safe as possible for him.  At the expense of a scraped nose and hand, but rather you than him.  

Jimin hoists his bag on his shoulder, the water cup you gave him already in the trash bin.  He walks right up to you and stands there, and you swear both of you can hear your heart beating.  One of his hands comes up to his masked face, and he speaks softly as he advises, “Ointment will help your nose if it still hurts.” 

Warmth blooms in your chest and cascades all the way to your fingertips.  Mirroring him, you bring a hand up to your nose and nod.  Your words tumble out, “Oh, yes, you’re right.  I can check if we have any in the back.”  

Satisfied, Jimin nods.  “Until next time,” he offers, his eyes creased and warm. 

You smile again and bow slightly.  He puts on his shades before heading out the door frame and into the hall, and you feel emptiness in his wake.  The world is fuzzy around your vision and you are trying so hard to commit everything that just happened to memory.  

Until the doors to front reception close, you watch Jimin’s retreating back.  When the frosted doors close shut, you close your own door to Room 3 and lean against the wooden frame.  The scrap of paper is creased in your hand as you clutch it to your hammering chest.  

“Holy shit,” you whisper to yourself.  It takes a good minute for you to compose yourself before pushing off the door and getting the room stripped and ready for the next session.  The whole time, you replay everything in your head.  

Jimin was just as nice as you have seen him through the lens of cameras.  If that was the case, all of them had to be the same way.  You are proud to like these wonderful people.  

You’re so happy you got to actually spend all this time with him, but that just magnifies the sadness you feel when it’s over. 

-

The room is done and cleaned up, and you go through the rest of the day on autopilot.  Not even Jay’s constant teasing could free you from your euphoria-numbed state.  The only thing that throws you back into focus is Yoon, and it happens at the very end of the work day.  

You push open the doors to front reception, and smile big at your friend behind the counter.  She’s beaming right back at you, and she puts her chin in her hand and shakes her head. 

“That must’ve been one hell of a message,” she says through a barely contained smile.  

Your hand flies to your forehead and you nod.  “I can’t believe that happened, Yoon.  I mean, it was really him.  Opportunity of a lifetime… I just hope he enjoyed the whole thing.” 

“You could say that,” she chuckles, “Enough to book you again, at least.” 

What?

“He did?” Your breath leaves you in a rush.  “If you’re joking with me, I’ll--” 

“--He did.  It’s not for a long time, but he asked for you specifically.”  Yoon gathers papers in her hand and starts to organize them in the containers behind her.  “You really piss me off, you know that?” 

“Love you, too,” you whisper, your head completely above the clouds.  You grab your phone and start checking your schedule from the wellness center app you have installed.  Grabbing the door handle, you absentmindedly wave back to Yoon and call out, “I’ll see you tomorrow.”  

The sun emits a golden glow at this hour, and the glass buildings along the street bask in its shine.  You head towards your bus stop while skimming your calendar for Jimin’s next appointment, but you’re already four months out and see nothing.  Not losing hope, you keep going and see a booking six months in advance.  Your heartbeat skips as you click on the appointment, and almost skids to a halt when you see his name written down.

-

As soon as you enter your small apartment, you head straight to your bed and drop your bag on the comforter.  Your whole body bounces as you plop yourself down next, and you stare straight at the ceiling.  

Your life is still normal, right?  Sure, you were able to spend an entire hour with Park Jimin, but that didn’t mean you aren’t still completely and utterly average.  

You close your eyes and go back to Room 3.  The scent of lavender fills your nostrils and you can still see his number tattoo as plain as day as you massage his wrist.  

In all honesty, it still feels like a fever dream.  That was someone else’s life you were able to live, someone else there with Jimin and you just decided to hitch along for the ride.  

But that was real, and so is the amount of money you still need to withdraw from your bank account.  

With a sigh, you reach into your bag and take out the piece of paper.  You were dreading this moment all day since he left.  Unfolding it, you prepare for the worst. 

But all you can do is stare.  

Jimin didn’t write down a price at all. 

Your name is at the top, and the rest is as follows:

Save your money for traveling and learning new things, not on me. I can’t wait to see what you’ve learned when we meet again.

-

-

a/n: thank you for reading! if you guys have any comments or feedback, please feel free to let me know!

#text #jimin x reader #jimin fluff #bts fics #jimin fics #room 3 jimin #room 3 #ryen writes #member: jimin #long post #grammy nominated singer fic!! #ryenwrites

[bookwyrminspiration]

TW// Drugs n such

you asked for it smh, but I've been thinking a lot about that one scene in Neverseen in Exilliums healing tent (or whatever its called)

I had a whole rant here about what the implication of this 'serum' might mean in the lost cities but it kinda spiraled into nothing so I'm cutting it out. (main point was just the mood towards drugs, Shannon has had previous mentions of both alcohol and drunk people, so (though im not saying she should incorporate this into a middle grade book series a t a l l), Id be curious to see her take on drugs, (if they exist and how they effect people and the elven population // how is it treated? Is it looked down upon or even forbidden (why we might only see it in Exillium territories) or is it so normal and inconsequential that its just part of the norm in the lost cities?

but anyway, back to the thing I was originally thinking of - i feel like this is something rarely talked about but pls tell me I'm not the only one who has picked up on how weird Keefe's relationship with sedatives is. It's such a contrast to Sophie, where she's openly opposed to taking any type of sedative he seems to be really open to them, in fact in Unlocked every time he's knocked out by a sedative his language is pretty much always positive, like he really enjoys it. This probably just ties into something you mentioned a while back about Keefe and dealing with stuff by running away but I find it really interesting.

(Sorry if this is an uncomfortable ask to get, I know not everyone is comfortable with drug talk and I hope this Isn't overstepping a line.)

you're fine, don't worry! no lines overstepped. I appreciate you including the warning at the top, even though I'm alright talking with the subject. if there's something I'm uncomfortable with, that's not on you to know or worry about because I haven't shared any of my specific triggers, and the more anxiety-inducing ones are so specific to my personal experiences that I highly doubt they'll ever have any effect on any conversation ever. but I do genuinely appreciate your concern <33

I don't remember specifically what I asked for, but this is a topic I hadn't even realized was so fascinating, so thank you for bringing it up! That scene is kinda funny (as in weird) looking back on it, but Keefe was completely out of it and being a lot more vulnerable than he probably wanted to be due to his state of mind. I think it was intended to mirror something like anesthesia or laughing gas (note: in my brief research trying to find info about the boobrie dude I made a mental comparison between tam and sandor, so I'm just making note of it here so I don't forget), at least as far as Keefe's reaction goes. I think part of this was strategic so that we could get some information and vulnerability (although unwillingly) from Keefe and get that first glimpse of "the boy beneath all that swagger" (paraphrased from Sophie). But that's not what your ask is about so I'll move on before I get even more distracted.

wine, at the very least, exists in the lost cities. we've got fizzleberry wine, which is blamed by some for Caprise Redek's accident. Aside from that we've seen no mention of it, as this is a middle grade series about a young teen girl in a fantasy world, and in a "perfect" world there isn't a lot of talk about recreational substances. And I agree with you! this isn't to say that I think drugs and alcohol should be this huge thing in keeper or that it even needs to be address, just commenting that the attitude the general public has towards substances and intoxication is likely even more severe in the elven world, as has been the pattern with other things. We can tell from Caprise's incident that their wine functions similar if not identical to ours, as it was said to have impaired her motor control and thinking, hence how she fell off that balcony. So I think we could assume that drugs in the Lost Cities would be similar to those in the Forbidden Cities in function. Not in name though, likely named after some strange elven thing. Though if we go with the wine example, Fizzleberry is likely an exact description of what it is--the wine probably fizzes and is made from berries.

the elves highly value the mind, so I anticipate that anything that messes with it past beneficial medicinal uses prescribed by a physician are frowned upon. they think of your mental capacity and capabilities as integral to who you are, and composure as essential. drugs take that away and can impair your reasoning, hence my conclusion they're not well liked. however, I propose that this mindset is mostly those who are very proper, for example Lord Cassius. Dex was more than ready to take concentration serums of his own making--and convinced Sophie to take one (note: dex has almost killed both Sophie and Fitz. that can't be fun to know)--which directly messed with his limbic center. However, as he was raised in an apothecary and is already a little less in line with all other elvin values, I don't think him being an outlier is enough to completely through out my assumption. overall: looked down upon because it messes with the mind and the mind is crucial to elven society, and the way it impairs your thinking would make you a lesser person

and you're right! keefe's relationship with sedative is weird. we have this teenager who grew up without stable supports or a loving family having very little regard for how substances will effect his body, prioritizing the possible--not guaranteed, possible--benefits over all the risks. this is not to say drug use is inherently bad, just that the situation he's in makes me very cautious because he feels more at risk of falling into bad habits. also, your observation about tying that into him running away is very astute! i've talked a lot about him running away from his problems in more ways that physical, and I think this is an excellent example of that

he doesn't like his reality, the world he lives in when he's awake and aware and lucid. it's full of all these problems and people and he doesn't know what to do. but when he's asleep? he doesn't have to deal with any of that. he doesn't have to do anything, but he's also troubled enough and anxious enough that sleep doesn't always come easy, and he can be plagued by nightmares. but those sedatives mess with his mind and not only make him sleep faster and longer, but they can mess with your dreams and alter the reality you experience while asleep. i guess it could be a way of trying to take control of a situation he had very little control over, especially in unlocked when everyone else was trying to fix things without consulting him. with his waking world that bad, of course he's gonna like anything that takes him away from it.

it stands out especially when we switch to him as a narrator and he's praising these things and wanting to be sedated, as we've spent so long in Sophie's head and she's so against them from the trauma she experienced in the first book. that could mean his attitude them is more jarring just because we're used to Sophie and it wouldn't seem as dramatic if we'd switched from say, Fitz's head. but that doesn't mean there's nothing here.

i think i've said it before, but Keefe doesn't have any healthy coping strategies right now that he consistently relies on. his deference towards avoidance and making the problem go away, even if it's just in feeling induced by drugs, is a more extreme example of how he doesn't know how to just exist without hurting.

I jumped around a bit between topics so if I missed something you wanted to talk about more in depth please feel free to send another ask! Keefe's relationship to experiencing reality is fascinating and covers things from denial and refusal to change all the way to drugs and literally altering the way his brain perceives reality. This boy is on a collision course with destruction in both body and mind.

#i appreciate the warning before the ask! #i'm personally fine with the subject but it's always nice to have it there for people scrolling through my blog or their dash who might not #have the tag or word filtered #as it gives them an opportunity to look away anyways #keefe really just doesn't want to be him #or experience his own life #it started small with pretending he was a vacker when he was little #but now he's literally trying to avoid experiencing reality #which is a lot more severe #oh and there's the whole thing with the solemlethes (however that's spelled) that i didn't even get to #that's what I was thinking of when I was talking about him not caring how things affected his body #because those are known to be dangerous and he still wants to take them for their potential benefits #kotlc #keeper of the lost cities #keefe sencen #kotlc character analysis #tw drugs #long post #tw drug mention #tw substance abuse #nonsie #quil's queries

[redleadurr]

Your art is rad! I'm not too familiar with Eddsworld but I've heard of it. Where do I begin? (I have a request thingy but I wanna ask this first) Hope you have a nice day or night :D

thank you!! honestly im really bad at like, helping people get into things but ill try my best to lead you to good direction with the show

theres no real continuity in the show (not counting the 2-part eps bc they are self explanatory) besides The End & the newer episodes after that, so really youre free to go in any order youd like (i suggest leaving The End -> the newer eps till last though since the show’s still ongoing with a new ‘season’ i suppose). theres some references to other episodes and stuff like that in a lot of episodes but theyre often just easter eggs that are a lot more fun to find once you already know of the stuff very well 😛

theres 3 ‘seasons’ or i guess more commonly called ‘eras’ of the show which are Classic, Legacy, and Beyond.

Classic goes from the very first video to Space Face (2012). Its probably the most recognized era since Edd G. was the lead here. Considering it was being done in the 2000s-early 2010s, its got a lot of internet/newgrounds humor from the time but its still very enjoyable & doesnt feel dated at all (a lot of people like that era of humor & so do i, its very fun (.: )

Legacy goes from Space Face to The End (2016). This is probably the era where a lot people got into the show & caused the shows boom in popularity a few yrs back... id say its the most experimental era since its very varied in the type of episodes they make and has a lot of different animation styles but imo thats what makes it very cool. its a fun era & a lot of the community’s thoughts/headcanons/etc on the characters & world was shaped by this

Beyond is basically everything after that, the show essentially got picked up again after the now-not-show-finale in 2020. seen a lot of mixed feelings regarding this era of the show but considering its still pretty ‘new’ i dont have a lot of strong opinions about it. i would definitely not consider recommending episodes from this era first though considering how it feels like its being made with the intention of you already knowing about the characters & things (or at least thats how it felt like to me when i revisited the show recently after years & forgetting a lot OOF). because of this ill recommend only classic/legacy stuff haha.

id probably recommend Hammer & Fail (part 1 & 2) as a first episode, it shows off the main characters’ personality well + its the episode that introduces characters that serve as their rivals sometimes in eps after that. its one of my favorites & iirc one of the top fan favorites too!

Ive also seen people tell me that they would recommend Spares first, & i do think thats a pretty solid ep to start with too. Considering its one of the older eps you get to see a lot more of the chaoticness gun blood (not graphic) + humor newgrounds stuff the show had going on, if you are a fan of that era of flash animation

I also recommend Fun Dead... over all very fun to watch and has zombies which are awesome heh. Zombies are a reoccurring thing in eddsworld & Zombeh Attack is a great series of eps which i absolutely love since its more actiony, however considering its age im not sure if i would recommend it as a ‘first’. Fun Dead’s still very fun with the zombies though (.:

Next up is probably Power Edd... you get to learn a bit more about some the characters here while also watching epic stuff go down; its my favorite episode and i just had to include it here hahaha

I was gonna end it with the one that comes after this paragraph but i thought i’d put Zombeh Nation here too. More of the old newgrounds feel this time with zombies

Ok, Finally .. I’d req WTFuture. Its the community’s top favorite episode for good reason. Id talk a bit about what its like & why i reccomend it but i think its better experienced cuz its a VERY cool episode & awesome if you like a bit of scifi

Those are the episodes i would req for you to get started with the show! You do not have to follow the order i set them in (except hammer & fail which i said to watch first to get to know the characters a bit) but i tired to give a general order which i think would work in general... after these its pretty much open for everything (except the end + beyond ya know the deal). you could probably choose to proceed to either watch more legacy or classic eps based on how you felt about the feel of the 2 eras, or i guess, mix it up too.

anyway sorry if this was long, eddsworld is a cool show & its very easy to get into! i hope u enjoy it 🙏🙏🙏

#i just had to info dump a bit buttt i hope everything makes sense n stuff; i swear its one of the easiest shows to get into haha #Lso these are my own personal opinions. people will probably recommend other things etc

[mirpik]

what if a man experienced symptoms

ill begin with some of what i talked about most recently. of course, some things are missing.

the more minor one out of what i talked about recently can go first. basically, in 7th(?) grade, i felt like the walls were sort of. closing in on me? it happened a few times.

in grade 8, i felt like my vision was zooming into my bedroom walls, so far in i could see something i could not see normally. it was square camera lenses covering the walls, and i saw the reflections of the people watching me. i somehow knew they were pedophiles.

ever since at least grade 9, i feel like i can't think. the intensity fluctuates. the reason i feel so is because i get the feeling that whatever i think will be posted on my tumblr and the discord servers im most active on

around at least grade 10, i didnt like people touching me or my plush i brought with me, as i felt they would somehow sneak a hidden camera on that would also allow them to read my thoughts. at least a year before this, i felt anxious about new clothes, as i felt they had a mind reading technology embedded in the collar of the shirt.

also, when i first got the cats, i was anxious as i thought their old owners put cameras in their eyes and was watching me.

i slowly got over the being watched thing, since i said to myself, "surely such small devices cant exist", until i watched a youtube video. that discussed cameras so small they needed an expert and/or special devices to find. that was the end of getting over it.

i get worried about displeasing the people i have. so, for them, im basically in a state where i accept almost anything that impacts me. i dont confront them about things and can keep myself hidden because thats the surest way to keep their thoughts where i want them to be. its also the main reason why the "thought be broadcasted" thing is so upsetting to me (when you ignore the fact its a violation of basic privacy). im worried theyll see a thought, go "oh, cringe", and leave me. i rarely confront people, and if i do, ignore it and stay away from everything else for so long because id rather be in a state where i dont know their thoughts and cant have any freedom or peace of mind due to it instead of have freedom but be faced with the knowledge they might of become upset with me. i am not a man who was meant to live to 17.

people also not understanding what i have to say seems to activate a similar part of my brain. because being asked for clarification means they hate me or are mocking me. i guess.

also. i am/was a little bit strange? but i dont know how strange in regards to the average person in the age group i was in. was i strange or just a normal middle schooler? in grade 7 or 8, i came across a dead squirrel. or something. on the playground. i wanted a picture but wasnt allowed. i got my friends, formed a circle around it, spun, jokingly called it a big mac and talked about eating it. in. in um. grade 9? 10? in winter, i came across another dead animal. i went to someone i didnt really like, and said they should run from quebec to where i am, and we will eat the animal together romantically. this year, i told my mom a toy mouse was a real one because it would be scary to her and the funnyness was a lot. i dont like dumbing things down and can get ??? at people being upset about that. i told my mom "yeah, milo probably ate the mouse" a year or two ago when she recalled a mouse that was brought in but disappeared, and didnt understand why she didnt like me talking about it. like come on.

my classification of emotions can be strange. i think most people classify based on intensity? my classification generally consists on what i want done about it. (anxious = i can handle this on my own, maybe some support will be nice. scared = i cant do this. please help me or do it for me. do not leave me.) it is why love doesnt really exist as an emotion to me, i think. theres already like, devotion, etc.

id talk about my ex-fp but it might be due for another post. two or so years after she avandoned me, i decided to restrict my eating because maybe thats why she didnt like me, since i remembered she always left a little after i announced i was making food or had some to eat. but i didnt succeed because i lack self control. i guess its a little traumatic. theres also more non-ex-fp related things i think. i want to steal just because im almost always bored and such and i want to attack but i dont want to go to jail. when my brother stole from us i fantasized about bringing him to some abandoned thing, cutting him up, and disolving him in bleach. im not sure if i like any of my hobbies.

youve made it this far wow. my kitty cat milo he turns 4 in summer

#squeak #dont reblog

[tokyoghoulaspecs]

Aroflux Kimi (Tokyo Ghoul)

[ID: Tokyo Ghoul manga panels featuring Kimi with tumblr posts edited onto them. Each tumblr post has an aroflux red border around it.

Image 1: Kimi is sweating and has a stressed look on her face as she holds a stack of documents. The tumblr screenshot is from @/cool-wears-a-trenchcoat and reads “Being Aroflux. Somebody: Are you okay? Me, panting and sweating: My romantic orientation has fluctuated five times in two days. Yesterday I wanted to have a soulmate, today I am disgusted that I even thought romantic attraction was a thing that i experienced. Me: So basically, just another normal day. How are you?”

Image 2: Kimi in the forefront and looking behind her at Nishiki, who is speaking and gesturing to her. Kimi has a neutral look on her face. The tumblr screenshot is from @/neblumum and reads: “Me: Romantic feelings? Aroflux: Romantic machine broke. Me: alright have a nice day.”

Image 3: Three panels of Kimi and Nishiki on dates: eating lunch on their college campus, looking at bracelets and necklaces on sale, and at a festival together. The tumblr screenshot is from @/a-spam-oeuvre and reads: “Monday: I don't like anyone now but I think I could in the future. Tuesday: ok but what if I actually do like this person not just platonically???? Wednesday: if someone doesn't take me on a romantic picnic right now I will die. Thursday: ok maybe I just want a picnic not the romance part. Friday: aw this fictional couple is cute but I don't want that for me. Saturday: if I see any ounce of romance I will barf right now Sunday: 💕🥰❤️😍💖.”

Image 4: Nishiki smiling kindly and Kimi looking away with a blank look on her face. The tumblr screenshot is from @/AutomaticSkyLark (deactivated) and reads: “anyways i forgot that the main reason i dont date ppl is that im aroflux and always flux out of having any romantic attraction anywhere from 3 to 14 days woops lol.”

Image 5: Kimi laying on her stomach with a surprised expression, and Nishiki glancing at her questioningly. The tumblr screenshot is from @/purple-grey-black and reads: “That aroflux feeling when you are starting to experience romantic attraction randomly like I didn’t sign up for this????”

Image 6: A close up of Kimi embracing Nishiki lovingly, her eyes closed and smiling. The tumblr screenshot is from @/tarynnwa (deactivated) and reads: “Aroflux things. Me last night: I never want a relationship, I don’t know why anyone would, I’m so much happier alone. Me this morning: *wakes up and desperately wants to cuddle.” END ID]

#tokyo ghoul #kimi nishino #nishikimi #aroflux #arospec #aromantic #aro #aroflux!kimi #edits #text post meme

[crazyaboutto]

Someone might have done this before, I didn’t check the tags thoroughly but whatever.

I only know Mephisto from a few places so I wasn’t very knowledgeable about him and decided to do research. I plan to do this for Agnes/Agatha Harkness and House of M. Feel free to DM me to talk about WandaVision theories.

Source: Marvel Wikia

What I’ll be talking about?

1. Who is Mephisto?

2. What are his powers?

3. What is his relationship to the characters in WandaVision in comics?

4. WandaVision Theory

The first 3 parts will be taken from Marvel Wikia and summarized.

1. Who is Mephisto?

Mephisto has many aliases such as The Devil, Satan and Lucifer. He is an extradimentional demon. He calls his realm “Hell” in order to exploit Earth human beings' belief in a single being of absolute evil. He is not the actual Satan but he allows himself to be called names that human beings give to their conceptions of devils. Mephisto is continually seeking to add more spirits of sentient beings to his realm by inducing living sentient beings to submit their wills to his. Mephisto apparently seeks primarily to enslave all human souls.

2. What are his powers?

Mephisto is an experienced and highly skilled liar and strategist. He is also a highly skilled sorcerer with near infinite knowledge of arcane and occult subjects.

His powers:

Superhuman Strength, Superhuman Speed, Superhuman Stamina, Superhuman Durability, Regenerative Healing Factor, Immortality, Penance Stare immunity, Medium Awareness, Netherworld Dimensional Power Tap.

§ Shapeshifting:Mephisto is more of a force than a physical being, one that can take any form that he wants. His "normal" appearance is that of male, red skinned humanoid with vampiric aspect and attire. However, Mephisto can appear in any form imaginable, having turning himself into animals, humans of any gender, or more commonly into other demonic forms, ranging from a stereotypical image of Satan to a giant reptilian monster.

§Mystical Deal:Through a Faustian bargain, Mephisto is able to fulfill almost any wish that someone wants in exchange for something that they have - usually their souls. Once the agreement is sealed, it is virtually impossible for the victim to escape compliance.

§ Ensnare Astral Bodies:Mephisto also possesses certain powers enabling him to capture and detain the astral bodies (sheaths of the soul) of recently deceased human beings. Mephisto does not have jurisdiction over all the souls of humanity's recently deceased. It is not yet known what the prerequisite conditions are for him to be able to manipulate a human soul, nor are the precise means by which he accomplishes the feat known. Apparently these conditions require that the human being in question willingly agree to submit to Mephisto's will. It is not known how a human being may free himself from bondage to Mephisto, nor whether Mephisto will forever retain control of the souls he has obtained. Nor is it known whether or not Mephisto "feeds" on the psychic energies of such souls as other demons do.

§Dimensional Entrapment:Apparently Mephisto can entrap a living human being within his realm through sheer physical force, even if the person did not submit his or her will to him.

§Reality Manipulation:Mephisto was able to create the realities Earth-7161 and Earth-71241 by creating a small alteration in the Earth-616 reality.

§Magical Manipulation:He can control magical energy for various effects, among which are the augmentation of his own physical strength, levitation, teleportation, the projection of mystical energy as force blasts, invisibility, matter manipulation, image projection, size transformation of his body or other objects or beings, the creation of temporary inter-dimensional apertures, and so on.

3. What is his relationship to the characters in WandaVision in comics?

Tommy and Billy Maximoff: Mephisto's soul was used by Wanda to give birth to the twins.Mephisto reabsorbed them, effectively ending their existence.

Wanda Maximoff: Mephisto absorbing the twins’ souls drove Wanda mad, resulting in her altering all reality.

Agatha Harkness: Agatha claimed that Scarlet Witch's children were actually fragments of the soul of Mephisto and wiped Wanda's memory of her children rather than fight to free the two from Mephisto when he reabsorbed the twins.

4. WandaVision Theory

So far: We have 6 episodes. The storyline gives off House of M vibes. Agnes seems to be Agatha Harkness from the comics which I’ll be talking about in another post. Dottie who is the key to the town only appeared in episodes 2 & 3 of the show. Director Tyler Hayward is pushing Wanda to defend herself.

THEORY:

Everything up to Wanda’s pregnancy was pushing Wanda to think about children despite no children was seen until episode 6. The whole talent show was “for the children” despite no children being present. Dottie was in charge of the talent show for the children. When Dottie was giving a speech about the talent show, she said “The Devil is the details” and Agnes said “It’s not the only place where he is”. She again said “For the children” during that speech.

Director Hayward first appeared in episode 4 and all he did was to antagonize Wanda. He is outside and he is giving Wanda every reason to stay inside The Hex. He is also painting her as the villain, trying to make others see her as the villain as well. He knew that Wanda would have deflected the bomb he sent into The Hex and that it would just anger her, making her less cooperative. He is also psychologically pressuring Wanda. You might say “He is the regular asshole” but what if he isn’t?

As mentioned in Powers, Mephisto can shapeshift into any form imaginable. Remember that on the people and their real life ID board, we didn’t see Dottie. What if Mephisto took the shape of a former soul he collected? That soul can be old and hence that is why Dottie wouldn’t be identified. The other minor characters were identified and they were shown. If Dottie was also identified then we would have seen her on the board too. Even if she is identified, there is no guarantee that Mephisto wouldn’t take her form. Dottie was the one who organized the event “for the children”, giving subtle message to Wanda for creating her own children. She even said “The Devil is the details” which is normal to say normally but not when the fans theorized Mephisto involvement after it was announced. Agnes, who is likely to be Agatha Harkness who mentored Wanda, said “It’s not the only place where he is”. I believe she, as an ancient being, knows about Mephisto and she subconsciously warned Wanda then. After what Wanda is supposed to do is done, Dottie doesn’t become a main character. Maybe that is the real Dottie in episode 5. Mephisto is done with her after Wanda got pregnant. After that, I think he started to impersonate Director Hayward. As mentioned above, everything Hayward did made Wanda to be more unstable and to want to stay in The Hex. I think Mephisto would want that and he is a perfect strategist. Maybe he didn’t shapeshift into those people but maybe they had a deal with him and he manipulated them into doing his bidding (See:Powers). Additionally, everything that happens inside The Hex makes Wanda stay inside.

In episode 6, Pietro calls “demon spawns” to Tommy and Billy. This isn’t even subtle. I think it is either subconscious warning that Wanda told herself via Pietro. Or it could be Pietro himself since he died once and maybe has knowledge that isn’t aware. Or it can be Mephisto being a little shit. He might have gotten Pietro’s soul when he died. In Powers, it is said that the conditions for him to entrap a recently deceased soul is unknown. He might have gotten Pietro’s soul when he died and now he is using Pietro to manipulate Wanda.

As mentioned in Powers, Mephisto can manipulate magic and reality. I think that is how Westview is affected. The reality inside The Hex is ever changing.

In episode 5, Norm played the pronoun game “Stop her” instead of saying “Stop Wanda”. It wouldn’t make a difference for Vision since he already thinks “she” is “Wanda”. What if that “she” is actually “Dottie”? Norm didn’t say her name because he doesn’t know it. He only knows she is the one doing him harm. This might be the other clue is that Dottie is indeed Mephisto himself.

#mephisto #wandavision #wanda vision #wandavision theories #wandavision theory #wanda maximoff #wandavision agnes #vision #dottie jones #tyler hayward #director hayward #director taylor hayward #pietro maximoff #marvel #marvel cinematic universe #mcu #Scarlet Witch #quicksilver #marvel theory #marvel theories #mcu theory

[bakugoukatsuki-rising]

Ive had this story ive been wanting to share ever since i started following this blog (months) which is the main reason why i started shipping bkdk and why, whenever i hear people saying their relationship hasnt changed at all, or that Bakugo hasnt grown enough, or that Midoriya is just being delusinal on "admiring" kacchan(have you ever heard that one?), i get very frustrated, soooo

May you listen to my story? :T

Basically i also had a childhood friend i shared the same class with for 10 years. From 5 to 15. So a big chunk of my child/teenage years

We were besties for 8/9 of those years?

She was... What my sister calls "a fictional character in real life". She was just... A huge princess, bratty, confident, and always made sure she got her way. She also grew up to become, in my opinion, the prettiest girl my age I'd ever met.

I dont know how we became friends, but my youngest memories of us together are of me chasing after her while she, (and the rest of her admirers) did whatever they wanted.

She wasnt the best person to me.. I dont think even half of the stuff she did she realised she was hurting me for real, but she did. I was her bestie, so i couldnt play with anyone else, but while i was with her I was called useless, nerd, weirdo, annoying. Once, when we were little, she isolated me from a sleepover at her house cause i didnt want them to cut my stuffies fur. That might not seem like much now, but inside the world of a 7 year old.. It was big. Once we got older, it got much worse as i was the only girl in my class who was still flat as board, didnt have an insta, and worse off all, they found out i liked anime and games :00.. It was as if i had been outed for liking that stuff and they constantly shamed me for it.. It was absolute hell for at least 2 years until we got to a bigger school where more people liked those things and people with more strength than me and didnt take shit made her shut up.

This might already remind you of a certain angry boi from a certain bnha(or not, thats fair), but the part that connects it all is that.. I really really admired and liked her despite all that crap, for all those years.

Honestly, shes the reason i still question my sexuality. I think i had a crush on her back then.

She was just.. So awesome when she wasnt bullying me! She was confident, and made friends easily, and had a way to manipulate others that was so obvious snd yet somehow no one seemed to get it, and she just had this charm, and always looked so pretty... If she decided she was gonna do something, then she'd do it. And she was strong too.. Some stuff would happen in her home life and shed shrug it off. Then there were also these moments where she opened up a little and let me see inside. One of my sweetest memories of her was once where she appeared as a surprise to my birthday to sleepover. She begged her mom to do it cause she wanted to see me during my birthday,as i later learned. We spent the night undercovers playing and talking. My mom had a photo of us all tangled up together sleeping the next morning. I was the only one she did that for. I loved knowing that. I was proud of it.

And so, no matter what else she did, i never left her side.. I didnt have anymore friends, and despite our relationship being toxic, i couldn't leave her..

But eventually, we just, broke? Im not sure how it happened. I met other people, better people, who were good friends, and i still talk to. She also met other people, who liked taking pictures and going shopping, and gossiping. And then, for the first time ever, we were separated into different classes. We never really talked again after that.. And that just makes me.. So empty inside. I wish i could talk to her now, and tell her so much crap. How she hurt me, and how i loved her despite it, and how she was my definition of confidence and victory. Still is.

When i met bnha, Bkg and Mdr, i remembered her, and our friendship, and now when i see them together in the manga now,i just think what couldve been for us if we stuck together. Especially cause i still see her sometimes, with other friends and boyfriend now, and she really seems older.. More grown up. Not the brat i knew. Im not sure cause we dont talk, but yeah.

So i completely understand Midoriya. How he admired Bkg despite the bullying, and believes in him, and felt overjoyed when Bkg spoke to him, or simply doesnt care anymore when Bkg is meaner. He knows its just him being bratty, not exactly mean

And when people say they haven't evoluted(?) enough, i just... Get frustrated!

Theyve changed so much! The way they interqct now is different, and will probably keep changing, and whqt i think they really need to fix theur relationship is the apology.. I long for that horribly.. For maybe obvious reasons :|

I wish id had the opportunity to work through my relationship with her too.. If our relationship could be like theirs is now.. Id be overjoyed

Sooooo, just a little story for any anti-bkdk or just people that cant understamd how Deku still tolerates Bkg.

To anyone who cared enough to read this, hope you have a super duper day! ^^

(this was too big omg, im sorry Q^Q)

-The Shy Pancake 🥞

Never too big, my friend. Thank you for sharing your experience with my, I love to learn about my followers and this was very sweet to read. It's always wonderful to be able to connect to fiction based around our real life experiences, as long as we're able to separate ourselves from it, of course.

I think it's great how you're able to better understand Deku because of what you've experienced in your own life, and I love that it allows you to appreciate the relationship between him and Bakugo.

I hope maybe one day you could talk to that friend again. 💕

#bnha #bkdk #welcome to the farm #anon #asks #basketball idiot replies #basketball idiot #shy pancake