#i also feel like i need to say that i do not hate hester she's like my 2nd fave

[croziers-compass]

Summary Notes of Terror Camp 2023 (9.12.23)

(A small summary of notes and references I took during Terror Camp Day One)

Erasure of Sailors of Colour in Arctic Exploration!!! Needs to be explored much more. JEAMS Fitz-James Fitzjames - w'ont put his apostrophes in the back of words. Capitalising Letters where you would Not usually capitalise them is like Italics. it is Emphasis in speech when written.

These jokes are getting Auld. (If you know you know)

Most things were phonetically written.

WOAHOO!!! - James Thompson

Relic? Or Artefact?

Semiophore - Objects regarded in a given community as carries of meaning.

Walpole is a little fucked in opinion. (imo)

Dundy was awful at spelling. Worse than Goodsir.

Capitalists should really look into Thomas Holloway

Everyone knows and loves Snarfin' On Them Ribs Saturday Man Proposes, God Disposes

Lady Jane was offended.

Hudson Bay Speedrun - Let Curiosity be your Compass

James Knight does not girlboss but he thinks he does.

A Ship Called The Whalebone Roald was both an asshole but good at what he did.

The Raft of the Medusa - We knew where that was going.

Johnathan Miles is a Horse Girl

Foreshadowing of the Cannibalism and Mutiny

HOOSH

History is a Panopticon They were just people... (Also a Note. I am worried that a lot of the fandom thinks that the concept of a Panopticon originates from TMA and that it was a TMA reference. It was not. I am wondering now if the TMA listeners know who Jeremy Bentham is.)

Cultural Understandings

IceBound Not Down - I did not take a lot of notes on Professor Hester Blum's panel. I was far too invested to write and when it was over I realised I had not made any notes. She was incredible. I loved her narratives very much. I would love to get her book. It is on my list! You would have had to have been there. It was wonderful. Not News: Dan Simmons is a wee fuckboy. We have established this a lot. He also establishes this for us. (?) Umlaqtalik - There is a boat there.

Imperialism is a disease.

How to read Ethically!

Some of my Notes from the Panel with Paul Ready and Nive Nielsen:

"You can hear a smile in a recording" - Nive Nielsen

Paul "I am not an expert on Anything" Ready

He is so very attached to Goodsir. Goodsir is very much a part of him. Hearing him talk about how integrated Goodsir is to himself was wonderful.

"I think we need more Goodsirs in the world."

Nive and her impressive education on the importance of indigenous representation and how that impacted her. How her voice as not only an actor but an Indigenous Actor was taken with such respect and was given the space to allow for respectful and creative extrapolation on the Set.

A small Note in my book that says: Oh goodness me he is hideously beautiful. I cannot stand how beautiful he really is. Oh my goodness.

"Nothing is good or bad. Just the potential to be." - Nive Nielsen - Terror Camp 2023

Nive: All Humans are good at picking up sincerity.

Goodsir would have hated Hickey.

"Ah. Would you look at that. Dead with my ass carved up." - Paul Ready

Nive: You cannot kill people or let people die because everything is connected and you do not know how that will effect your future. You have to depend on each other. So when there was conflict you had to solve it with as little violence as possible.

A very Important Book Nive Nielsen had spoken about!

You can get a copy on Thriftbooks of "Give Me My Father's Body" by Kenn Harper Here

I had an incredible amount of fun during this event. I am so excited for tomorrow. What notes you are seeing here are just references to part of the panels and some side comments I had made between all of my other more detailed notes. There was so much to be had and so much that we saw and heard. The speakers were incredible and each individual was incredibly dedicated to their impressive Art and Passion. It truly showed. As Nive said: You can hear a smile in a recording". I feel as if this applies to every one of the speakers and all of the panels we had the pleasure to enjoy today.

I have more detailed notes in my journal which, of course, you can see I scrawled a lot in. I had amassed about seven whole pages worth in that time. So to type them all would be just simple a task I cannot do. But I am open to discussions regarding how everything was if you did not get to attend it! Also Terror Camp has a wonderful setup available for you to explore the other avenues that they have presented on their website. So please do go check that you if you are interested! I cannot wait to do this tomorrow with my fellow Shipmates. Thank you so much for everyone that put together @terrorcamp. I am quite excited for tomorrow!

With much love and saltwater kisses,

Second Leftenant in heart and spirit,

-Wilbur E. F. C.

#nive nielsen #paul ready #the terror amc #the terror #harry goodsir #silna #lady silence #terror camp #terror camp 2023 #Thank you so much for this experience!

[horizon-verizon]

I know that most Green stans are christofascists that use HOTD as a vessel to channel their misogynistic and reactionary propaganda, but just because something is a social problem in-universe doesn’t mean you have to roleplay being the kind of backward bigot that believes it. You’re not always supposed to agree with societal norms in fiction because they’re displayed to make a point of how dreadful and oppressive they are. There’s a reason people who read The Scarlet Letter don’t go around calling Hester Prynne a slut, saying that adultery is a monstrous sin, and supporting the reverend, the puritan colony and Hester’s husband. Because the author explicitly condemn the misogyny, shaming, public humiliation, and social stigma Hester faces.

How do ASOIAF fans feel when a man born in 1804 is more progressive than they are ????

Yup. To bring back Daemon as the groomer/pedo debate (cuz I know many green stans of either book or show will point out that how this character has stans despite his grooming/pedoness):

In the show, Rhaenyra is 19 when she first kisses Daemon as Daemon appears to spend way less time with her (what is required for grooming) than he does in the book

in the book, Daemon gets away with what would be grooming and pedophilic wrongs accusations, and charges today (for some fans) bc of those same patriarchal, classist privileges that many green stans excuse Otto and any of Alicent's sons for having, enjoying since birth, and actively, willingly, and consciously using to their advantage. No, 30 yr olds should not have sexual access to literal teens of any level (early, mid, late....18-19 yrs olds are dicy for me), but if you are going to hate book!Daemon for his interactions with Rhaenyra, you cannot exonerate Aegon II for the 12 yr old or Otto for pimping out his 15 yr old. As for general exploitation of women, Aemond, again, made Alys his war prize/personal sexual slave-- doesn't matter her older age.

I remember ozymalek talking about the phenomenon of people buying too much into the problematic elements of the world they are reading the story, and then using them to exculpate their favs of ALL wrongs and flaws.

Also, agreed especially on the social norms being shown (not told) in exactly why and how those norms need to become abnorms.

I've had an ask saying that "we can't blame Alicent for hating bastards" and I was like 🤨. No, I absolutely can, just as I dislike Catelyn. I can understand why shed be upset with the notion that her husband cheated and refuses to name the other woman, as well as forcing her to raise her kids with his love child by said mysterious woman (using modern terms bc Im personalizing), but I feel differently for Catelyn than I do Alicent.

Alicent was never really about starting a war specifically to protect her kids such as gaining power through her kids (even though she also did love them, that's not up for debate). Rhaenyra's children posed little threat to Alicent or her kids and Jon Snow became a loyal and close sibling to the others (treating people well and like they are family when you live in a world where blood family can be literally what helps you to survive can do wonders).

Catelyn woke up one day and found out her husband, who she learned to love over the years, was unfaithful. It changed how she saw Ned, herself, and tainted her whole future perspective of people around her. For Catelyn it was always personal and there is a level of trauma attached. For Alicent, nah.

Both dislike bastards, but for slightly different reasons with both getting much of their dislike for bastards from their Faith religion and family including children born not to a person's spouse. Yet neither are justified in their hatred towards the respective bastards in their life because such an element in this world is itself unfair and discriminatory....

*EDIT* Part of Catelyn's self-justification is that Jon could steal away or endanger her own kids in trying to become lord of Winterfell. Alicent may have cited that Rhaenyra would kill her and her kids in the green council, but Rhaenyra was not the sort to do so without provocation (and usurpation is a provocation, of which Alicent engineered herself with no one threatening her or her kids as soon as her first kid was born). Alicent has made it her mission to socially isolate Rhaenyra, and Catelyn did something similar with Jon, but Catelyn has never plotted against Jon. Catelyn also didn't calculatedly seek to isolate Jon for the sake of political power she would use through her kids either. She just hates him because he reminds her of when her world was ruined and had to be redone, of betrayal. Buoyed by her faith.

So I feel way more sympathetic towards Catelyn than I do Alicent, even with the agrument of the Dance being unreliable and those saying that Alicent could very well be like the show!Alicent--just trying to protect her kids and manipulated by Otto into installing her son, using her "wits".

Problems with those arguments is that show!Alicent is half of book!Alicent with the: relationship-w/-Rhaenyra change and age change. Alicent was older than Rhaenyra and, reading between the lines and how after her reaction to Viserys keeping Rhaenyra as heir despite Aegon's birth, Alicent absolutely wanted power for powers sake, primarily. NOT for her son's safety. She felt entitled to having her son be one king because he was a boy and she felt entitled to become mother to the King ( or if it was an actual title in Westeros, Queen Mother) and become number one woman aside from her own daughter, who herself would also just be under her and her house's influence. She felt entitled because that was tradition and as much power given to women, usually, when they reached what was made the "top" for them. I would go to say that Alicent felt that she earned it.

This aspect of her shouldn't have been taken from her. Added onto, yes. But not reduced or removed altogether. Kept for her father. And certainly not motivated by a "love" for a girl that realistically she would have never cared about above her own search for patriarchally-assured power in a world where women are barred from the real highest positions of power.

I imagine/speculate that book!Alicent made a quiet compromise with herself as many girls and women do on how to both gain power and not alert men around them by trying for too much--by being Queen Consort/mother to the King, the thing fashioned for noblewomen to be the "best". Trouble is that, I think, she also felt she had to believe it, buy into it 100%. Catelyn is similar.

This entire context is undermined by the concept of her, somehow, trying to save Rhaenyra's life after going after her for years or be her best friend or being her best friend for years without these two actually having any sort of base (at least shown and proven to the audience). It was never about her kids or being close to a woman, because book!Alicent gave up on other women a long time ago. These sorts of women tend to do so.

And to be honest, it makes so much more sense to me, that a woman raised in such a conservative world and one of the most conservative places in such a "world" (Oldtown, where the Faith flourishes and has the most influence), would be so greedy for power. Made to suppress much and sacrifice or never dream of anything for herself, it makes sense why this person/a woman in this context could and did reach for the highest positions of power while convincing herself that she deserved it before an actual woman can come to her own autonomous power (Rhaenyra) all along.

I guess this is where Catelyn has another similarity to Alicent. Along with the romance angle, she also feels that, after years of marriage and real love she didn't deserve to be betrayed and after having had actual power in her household when her father gave her that ability (within the context of women, again, not having the same opportunities as men and knowing that since childhood). Her husband was meant to be hers to have a family with and to have had intimacy with. She also didn't really pay much mind to other women if it can get her support for her son (the young girl who is set to marry her brother and her simple thoughts of the girl having good child bearing hips is a nuanced event).

At the same time, admittedly, Catelyn is still less hateful to me since:

A) I can see how she thinks with the POVs style of narrator, so I'm immersed in her pain and it's easier to sympathize whereas with Alicent I'm going off way more on recorded actions and some personal experience (as a woman)

B) Catelyn isn't going against a woman who herself would become something better for other women--a Queen Regnant

C) Catelyn feels much less like a person concerned with making sure everything stays traditional and actually (after Jon's gone to the Wall) doesn't think apart from her family, which is more appealing to me personally.

D) I simply prefer Rhaenyra's troubling-status quo character for its troubling of the status quo.

So I do have some prejudice against Alicent, but I don't think all of it is unfounded or unjustified. *END OF EDIT*

#asoiaf asks to me #green stans #fandom critical #hotd fandom #asoiaf #hotd #a song of ice and fire #house of the dragon #rhaenyra targaryen #hotd comment #fandom commentary #catelyn stark #catelyn stark's characterization #catelyn's characterization #a game of thrones #agot characterization #agot #character comparison

[darishima]

choose violence ask game, 7 for kakegurui, 2 and 10 for sge !

ohh 7 is so hard actually.. the only kkg characters i hate are ones that like. everyone hates. (cough cough jun kiwatari). i guess the closest i could say to that is yumeko or mary, NOT because i actually hate them (i love them) but bc i feel like they get sooo much attention from the fandom and other, more minor (or even major) characters get sidelined. i do NOT hate them though i just want other characters to get attention too (give terano some love guys) oh actually another character that's kinda close to that is yuriko, cause every ships her with midari. i do like the ship but yuriko is just such a minor character that i find it hard to love her, and then seeing everyone ship her with my Fav Of All Time is a little. like. come on guys yumedari is Right There. why must you pick yuriko of all people. based on like two canon interactions. ugh. but i still like yuriko she's cool

okay as for 2 and 10 these are gonna be a liiitle hard because i havent majorly interacted with sge in so long but i'll do it for you babe 2: i'll pick anadil bc she's always been my baby, she would NOT top hester. i know she has zero canon personality but pretty much her only character trait is being hester's henchmen, and i feel like that would extend to fucking. i could see her being a service top maybe, or Maaaybe a power bottom, but she just has very submissive/bottom vibes to me cause she's always submissive to hester in general 10: this is Really Hard. um. can i just say literally anything that isn't hestadil. truly i do not care about anything else. okay but honestly i'd have to say hophie probably. sophie to me is a lesbian for one, but also i think her character arc is genuinely ruined with hophie. like, the whole POINT of her development is that she learns she doesnt need a boyfriend/love interest/prince, and she's content to live her life without one. the fandom shipping hophie always irked me because it just contradicts her character but then soman actually MAKING IT CANON AT THE END. UGH. DONT FUCKING GET ME STARTED. soman i love you but you have made some drastically misguided choices. jesus christ. also i never really liked hort lmao

#asks #sge #kakegurui

[caitlin666]

Rewriting SGE Books (The School Years: Part One)

This will be separated into several parts. This part is “overall” and “book one.” I might make a separate thing later. where I rewrite the movie. (Obviously there’s spoilers lol)

Overall

- While part of me liked Agatha’s character development, part of me disliked how her witchy side became practically discarded by The Last Ever After (especially the ending). Let her personality change over time instead of becoming so strange and jarring. I still want her to keep her witchy side throughout the book, just gaining more confidence and she could learn to have a balance of her witch and princess side.

(Note: I feel like with Sophie this was better written, as Sophie was able to keep her girly side and edgy side in Last Ever After, and she didn’t fully give into Evil stereotypes. If that makes any sense?)

- I want more Tagatha buildup/tension! Let them have friendship stages in the latter part of book one and let them have talking stages in book two! Don’t even make them remotely romantically interested in each other until book two!

-Let the side characters shine more once in a while! This really doesn’t need much more explanation.

-Make the characters motives/intentions clearer

-More show and less tell sometimes too, especially with characters and settings.

-Get rid of fatshaming (thank god this was taken out in the film)

School For Good And Evil (Book One)

-I want Gavaldon/Early-Book Agatha and Sophie to be even more exaggerated for some reason. Like obviously keep Agatha’s kindness and Sophie’s meanness, but make Agatha’s creepy traits and Sophie’s girly traits even more extreme (Yes, I will be touching on this too in the movie rewrite, as this was even more of a problem)

-Make the Evers sometimes have nice moments too. Don’t keep them mean all the time, because they are supposed to be “Good” after all

-Make Agatha QUESTION the Ever’s behaviours. Make them think “oh, she wears black, and might seem creepy at first, but is actually pretty nice once you get to know her. Should she be in good or evil?” Do this instead of just saying “She’s evil” without truly thinking properly.

(Note: this was less of a problem for Sophie, as both Evers and Nevers alike were questioning she should be in good or evil throughout the book, because she might seem sweet and girly at first, but she also had an evil side, obviously)

-Obviously keep most of Agatha’s insecurities and cynicism and sarcasm, but cut out some of her whining and some of her “woe is me” attitude, it was SO annoying to constantly read, over and over again. And cut out some of Sophie’s whining too. At least Sophie eventually learned to make the most of her situation at the Evil School and stopped whining (or at least stopped most of her whining) after a while. Make Agatha slowly gain confidence throughout the book, and make her learn to utilise the school better. Obviously she’ll be at the height of her confidence after having her “makeover” but I feel like Agatha slowly gaining confidence would be more impactful.

-This book is supposed to defy stereotypes, I want it to be more in your face! Make an Evergirl character who’s somewhat of an Ever version of Hester, she’s extremely badass and hates pink and is extremely sassy and helps Agatha gain confidence and loves sports and becomes good friends with Agatha. Agatha and Kiko and that character could become a cool trio or something. Make Agatha question the Evergirls behaviours, as in, make them think “should I constantly focus on makeup and fashion and be mean, or can I like fashion and makeup and be nice too?” Or SOMETHING, I don’t know.

-Get rid of Tedros bullying Agatha (or Agatha bullying Tedros), and instead just make them have banter/arguments/sass thrown at each other, without it fully resorting to bullying. Make me question Tedros’ motives/intentions without me flat-out hating him, thank you

(Note: this was somewhat fixed in the movie, but the movie didn’t have enough banter/arguments/sass between them as I wanted lol)

-Make Agatha dislike Tedros throughout the entire book. Don’t make her suddenly crush on him for the last few chapters. Like sure she gains confidence, and may like herself more, but she doesn’t like HIM, lol. Make it one sided, as in, Tedros starts crushing on her after her makeover, but she doesn’t like him back. That would be so funny to read. Also, before Tedros starts crushing on Agatha, slowly throughout the book make him intrigued by her, no, not crushing, intrigued. As in “while I sorta dislike her, and would never want to be romantically involved with her, I can’t help by intrigued her. She’s strange but also fascinating.”

-Showcase more of the classes! Have more buildup and excitement towards to final events! And cut out some parts, like the fox scene.

-I want to see more circus of talent acts instead of just skipping over some of them! Also make the trial have higher stakes.

-When Tedros asks her to the Snow Ball, Agatha says “ew, no.” The entire school gasps, Agatha then says a speech about how she shouldn’t be defined by a guy and can be an independent princess and makes a few more points, and after something, maybe magic or fighting or something else, the rule about how an evergirl must be asked out by an everboy or otherwise she’ll fail, gets overturned and Agatha is the first evergirl to hypothetically go to the ball on her own (except obviously the snowball in the book doesn’t happen but it would still be impactful)

-Make the ending fight scene have higher stakes.

-Just generally make the ending more impactful.

[thefangirltreehouse]

school for good and evil | thoughts…

i just want to preface this and say, overall i certainly enjoyed the film and would recommend it to both fans and non-fans alike and i can admit there’s a substantial amount of bias from my end in these thoughts, but also just general things as a filmmaker and i mean i’ve been waiting on this film since i was fifteen and now i’m twenty-two.

so if you’re interested in my thoughts just be aware, spoilers for the film and the first three books.

the good

some absolutely incredible performances, particularly from theron and washington that i had plenty of laugh out loud moments with them whilst watching with my friends, can’t wait to hopefully see them in the sequel

sophia & sofia really grew on me by the end of the film (i was a little worried about sofia as the beginning of the film was giving me “disney channel emo girl”) but she really shined later in the film

additional shout-outs to the actresses that played hester & beatrix

costume design was brilliant bit less obvious favourites were millicent’s arrival dress (the rainbow is to die for, plus also her tartan sashes)

sophie’s patchwork dress is a great example of character development through costume

tedros… need i say more. and i’m glad we got a glimpse at classic manic, unable to read the room tedros

hort’s just a wee lamb

they kept a few of my favourite scenes, and i’m glad we got scenes of the trio being the trio

the sequel tease!

they used their one designated pg-13 swear well

the not so good

rafal was not needed in this film (don’t get me wrong, kit done a great job but i still hate the inclusion) rafal’s inclusion softens the blow of sophie’s transformation that it is not of her own doing but being egged-on by a third-party

rafal’s scenes being cut could’ve fixed my other massive problem with the film, we never really get to know the evers, nor their lineage other than gregor and tedors, we also barely get to see much of the students and their downtime (with or without sophie and agatha)

no candy corridors!

still not a fan of the casting for anadil and dot, especially when dot’s weight is such a large part of her character (also, they never gave anadil any significant screen time and no pets!)

not gonna lie, not a massive fan of the jump from “you should go kill yourself” to giggling like a school girl around tedros, it’s almost like we got end of book one tedros from like his second scene.

gutted about the coffin challenge being cut and a nerfed trial by tale

THE COLOURGRADING IN GAVALDON! (or lack of dynamic and interesting colourgrading and lighting), omg I wanted to vomit, it doesn’t give me ‘ole timey village vibes, it gives more we filmed a few scenes in a green forest and called it a day. it’s the same when they’re in the village, it looks like a set

they cut out castor and pollux and also princess uma so i’m assuming if we get book three they won’t be finding her in the forrest.

lesso’s weird-ass thing with rafal like that isn’t evelyn’s m.o

they cut another great tagatha scene after tedros helps her after the coven and sophie attack her

we never got any agatha and the coven scenes

the ball was great but again, another cut tagatha scene, tedros sorta runs off in the film as opposed to purposely locking her in, which they could’ve still done and kept the dove transformation rather than agatha climbing down.

we really should’ve had tedros turning on agatha in that scene

no nemesis dream

no reflection aggie

general

scaredy kat?! our british bisexual queen!

how the fuck did they get clearance from disney to use that song (also, i feel like they should’ve used “a dream is a wish your heart makes”) considering who dovey is

chaddick doesn’t get a name drop

a lot of the lines in the trailer are changed, had no idea agatha was in the groom room when she met dovey

rafal and sophie’s kiss was utter cringe

i always imagined the top of the tower to be a teeny-weeny room, not two big-ass floors

i still stand by the fact they should get bradley james to play arthur, been saying this for years.

i’m so happy millicent is scottish

of course soman was a never

#school for good and evil #sge

[mistwraiths]

5 stars

I really liked this book! It has such a unique premise, with people who eat books and absorb information, and some who eat minds. This story follows Devon, both in present day and her past and all the events that lead her here. At its core, this story is about a mother who loves her children so much.

Despite the really cool concept and the slight mention of aliens, this book doesn't really do anything entirely different. It features a very closed off, patriarchal Book Eater world who shelter their women and marry them off to have babies to continue the Book Eater line. All but two male characters, and the boy, are not complete pieces of shit or controlling abusive assholes. Which while I get that that's integral for the story, it doesn't make it fun or want to read it.

Devon, however, I continually rooted for and grew to really like. Being sheltered all her life, knowing that others around her would get punished because she was too special because she was a girl and therefore breeding material, and trying to find her place to live and survive within that. And then having a child and loving that child SO MUCH. And having her stripped away from her child and fed lies after lies, and thinking if I follow the rules, if I'm GOOD, that they will let her see her daughter again. And then having another child, a mind reader who is unwanted and hated. And having to CHOOSE to actively pick her son, the mind reader, because she has to protect him, and her other child, Salem, she's at least loved and one day they might be reunited again MAYBE. It's just so good.

The fact that Devon singlehandedly hunts people and brings them to her child for him to feed on is something that really drew me in. It doesn't happen often on the page and Devon is DEEPLY affected by this guilt and horrific act, but in the end it doesn't matter because she won't let Cai starve. And she has to be so careful because it's a fine balance between too many deaths alerting the police, Cai absorbing that person's mind and memories and personality that he can become unrecognizable or mad, and not feeding him enough that he STARVES.

The part where the knights, her brother Ramsey, threaten Cai's life to force Devon to find the Ravenscar family and the drugs to control the dragons, a term used for mind eaters by the knights, is both horrible and ingenious. Because the drugs will stop Cai's hunger for minds and allow him to eat books so she absolutely needs them anyway. I loved watching her secretly plot and plan against them to be free and save Cai.

Hester was a delightful surprise. I wish we did have more interactions with her and while I liked that her and Devon liked each other, it did feel way too quick. Jarrow was a good character too, while he was frustrating at times on the beach with his LEAVE CAI because he couldn't understand Devon loving her son so much when she could be easily free, he was still helpful when it came down to it. Thanks to his sister. Which 😭 "we must help her because no one helped me" got me choked up. Also, he was invaluable to Devon as a friend and gave her a way to escape into games during her second pregnancy. Did NOT expect Tomb Raider, Mario, and Final Fantasy to be important in this book but the gamer in me is happy.

The ending was a little messy and frantic, but ultimately, I'm very glad how it worked out. I'm so glad they got the drugs and I was worried for a hot second because Cai kept saying his belly was hurting 🤣 but they are free. I hope we get more because I would LOVE to see Devon and Cai rescue Salem.

Also, "Love doesn't have a cost. It's just a choice you make, the way you choose to keep breathing or keep living. It's not about worth and it's not about price. Those concepts don't apply." and "love is not inherently good" both fucking slap.

#sunyi dean #the book eaters #steph's book review #steph reads #book review

[bing-bang-bingo]

- 4x3: c. 40:00 Cas comforts Dean after Mary makes a deal w/ Azazel

- 4x7: 15:50 Dean stops Sam from shooting Cas, then Sam mentions that he’s “heard a lot about him”

- 4x7: 39:00 Cas tells Dean he prayed he’d save the town, then he tells him about his doubts and Deans future troubles

- 4x10 & ???: Dean calls “last night on Earth” his best line. He uses this line on Cas

- 4x10: 27:15 “Castiel has this weakness. He likes you.”

- 4x10: 32:50 Cas looking jealous and sad when Dean kisses Anna

- 4x16: 7:30 Cas tells Dean he got in trouble for showing emotion and getting to close to Dean. 8:20 “I would give anything not to have you do this”

- 4x16: 39:00 Cas warns Dean to be careful while Dean is in the hospital, they discuss the first seal and saving Dean from hell

- 4x18: 31:30 Cas tells Dean how to save Sam from Lilith even though he’s not allowed to interfere

- 4x20: 38:00 Deans face when Cas tells him he “learned his lesson when he was in heaven”

- 4x22: 30:40 Cas considers rebelling for Dean. 33:00 He does. 35:20 He fights multiple Archangels for Dean

- 5x1: 5:45 Dean denies Cas’ death 8:25 “I learned that from my friend Cas you son of a bitch”

- 5x1: 31:00 Cas saves Sam and Dean from Zach

- 5x3: 6:10 Cas-“I need your help because your the only one who will help me”

- 5x3: 10:20 Dean fixes Cas’ tie and jacket

- 5x4: 38:50 “Don’t Ever Change”

- 5x8: 38:20 Dean makes Gabriel bring Cas back, then makes sure he’s okay

- 5x13: ?:?? Cas won’t let Dean meet with Anna because it’s not safe

- 5x17: 30:30 Cas and Dean discuss what it’s like to have a deadbeat dad

- 5x18: 25:15 Cas kicks Deans ass for trying to sacrifice himself

- 5x21: 3:50 Cas and Dean bickering like and old married couple then Cas gives Dean a heartfelt apology.

- 6x17: 18:55 “No you’re confusing me with the other angel, the one in the dirty trench coat who is in love with you.”

- 6x17: 38:00 Sam: “So you killed 50,000 people for us?” Cas: *looks at Dean*

- 6x19: 25:20 Bobby reassures Cas that they’ll be back soon, Cas acts like a worried and disappointed wife.

- 6x19: 36:25 Cas yelling “Dean!” when Eve bites him

- 6x19: 40:00 Dean is the only one who doesn’t think Cas is working with Crowley (he’s wrong but it’s sweet)

- 6x20: 4:50 Dean v v worried, “But Cas you’ll call right? If you get into real trouble?”

- 6:30 Crowley implies that Cas is distracted by Dean and tells him he reeks of the Impala.

- 7:20 Cas says that Dean taught him how to care and what to care about. Then Cas saves Sam (for Dean)

- 13:15 Cas says that the worst part of working with Crowley (basically his sworn natural enemy) is that it hurt Dean and that he hated lying to him.

- 25:20 Cas refuses to ask Dean for help because he has “sacrificed too much” even though it means Cas could die.

- 26:00 Crowley tells Cas he has a way for everyone to get a happy ending “with all possible entendres intended” while Cas stares longingly at Dean.

- 33:00 Dean is close to tears when he learns that Cas is working with Crowley, Cas says he did it to protect Dean.

- 35:25 “Dammit Cas we can fix this!” “Dean it’s not broken!” He then tells the boys to run from the demon cloud and Dean gives him the saddest look in the world before being forced to leave him behind.

- 38:00 Cas watches Dean sleep. “I’m doing this for you Dean. I’m doing this because of you!”

- 6x21: 22:40 “I do everything you ask. I always come when you call and I am your friend. Still despite your lack of faith in me and now your threats I’ve just saved you yet again. Has anyone but your closest kin ever done more for you?”

- 6x22: Dean to Cas- “Don’t make me lose you, too.”

- 7x2: 5:35 Dean nearly cries on screen when he thinks Cas is dead

- 7x17: Cas says “I remember ~you~” as soon as he regains his memories.

- 7x17: Cas ask why Dean didn’t tell him all the horrible things Cas did. Parallels the conversation Karen and Dean had about telling Bobby she remembered him killing her and her telling Dean that he had never been on love before.

- 7x21: The face Dean makes when he sees Cas again plus the prolonged eye contact when Cas says Deans name.

- 7x21: Hester telling Dean that when Cas first saved him from Hell he was lost- parallels- Lucifer/Jess saying she was dead the moment she met Sam.

- 7x23: 8:50 “Go ask him. He was your boyfriend first.” Meg to Dean about Cas

- 7x23: 32:45 “I’m sorry but I’d rather have you, cursed or not.”

- 7x23: 36:50 Cas steps in to protect Dean despite spending the whole season avoiding fighting and saying he won’t fight.

- 8x2: 25:00 Cas ran away to keep the Leviathans away from Dean. Dean refuses to leave purgatory without Cas.

- 8x7: 20:30 Deans reaction to seeing Cas all cleaned up.

- 8x7: Dean convinced himself that it was his fault Cas was still in purgatory because he’s a sweet idiot boy who hates himself

- 8x7: 35:00 The whole Dean and Cas conversation about purgatory and Cas doing stuff that puts him in danger.

- 8x8: 12:30 Cas just casually going through Deans stuff and Dean not saying anything.

- 8x8: 13:00 Cas offering to watch over Dean while he slept

- 8x8: 15:15 Dean talks to Cas about feelings and heaven even though Dean hates talking about feelings.

- 8x17: Cas fights Naomi’s mind control for Dean

- 8x23: 22:50 Dean and Cas sadly discuss Cas closing the doors of heaven and say goodbye

- 9x1: Dean prays to Cas and tells him he isn’t mad about the angels falling.

- 9x1: Cas’ first instinct is to explain himself to Dean then to come help him.

- 9x1: Dean begs Cas to “for once, look out for yourself.”

- 9x3: 36:45 Dean to Cas after Cas came back from the dead “Don’t you ever do that again!”

- 9x6: Literally just Dean trying desperately the whole episode to hang out with Cas

- 9x10: 26:00 Dean and Cas talk about how Cas is doing and Dean offers him a rare sincere apology. Plus the “I prefer the term ‘trusting’. Less dumb, less ass.” dialogue

- 9x18: Cas’ little smile when Dean makes a joke about Honor Bars and Cas is just so happy to hear his voice.

- 9x18: Metatron’s illusion of Gabriel calls Cas Dean’s boy-toy

- 9x18: Cas can tell something is wrong with Dean, then Cas yells at Dean about getting the Mark of Cain

- 9x22: Cas chooses Dean over all of Heaven once again

- 9x22: The Cas and Dean conversation about the three of them being enough when an army wasn’t and Cas giving up an army all for Dean

- 9x23: “I’m blaming you for taking Cas’ grace.”

- 10x1: 5:00 Cas about Dean- “I miss him.”

- 10x2: 9:00 Cas’ reaction to learning that Dean is a demon

- 10x3: The conversation between Dean and Cas at the end of the episode. “You look terrible” “You on the other hand, your looking good.”

- 10x5: Deans reaction to Cas and Dean actors hugging and holding hands

- 10x5: “Put as much sub into that text as you possibly can.” *looks directly at fake Cas*

- 10x9: 15:00 Cas tells Dean he’s a good role model. Then asks him if he’s okay and when Dean lies and says he is he pushes it further. Dean makes Cas promise to kill him if he goes Dark

- 10x22: Dean and Cas fight and parallel Cain and his Wife.

- 10x23: Dean sees Cas’ bloody face in the mirror

- 11x1: Cas being more worried about Dean than himself even though Cas is under a spell that will kill him.

- 11x2: Dean calling Cas and stressing out when he doesn’t answer

- 11x3: Dean trying to coax Cas out of the attack dog spell, refusing to fight back when Cas was attacking, freaking out when Cas took a minute to wake up, refusing to let Cas heal him (because he “had it coming”), and refusing to let Cas apologize (because “there’s nothing to apologize for”).

- 11x10: “Dean, I came as soon as you called.” Also: “Stick your tongue out.” Dean-*does*

- 11x11: Dean realizing that something is wrong with Cas (while he is possessed by Lucifer)

- 11x11: Mildred says that Dean is pining for someone else(probably meant to be a reference to Amara, but she told him this after he had seen Cas for the first time in a few days.)

- 11x14: The sadness on Deans face when he realizes Cas is Lucifer and then his determination to save Cas

- 11x15: Dean getting kinda dark when he talks about what he’s willing to do to save Cas and he prioritizes saving Cas over bearing Amara.

- 11x17: Dean once again prioritizing saving Cas over saving the world. Sam reassuring Dean that they’ll save Cas (even though Dean didn’t say anything about what was upsetting him)

- 11x17: The camera zooming in on Dean after Michelle says that there is no normal after losing the man you love.

- 11x18: Dean refuses to put Lucifer in the cage or let him fight Amara while using Cas as his vessel.

- 11x18: The difference in the way Dean looks at Lucifer vs at Cas

- 11x18: Dean about Cas: “Lets go find that idiot and bring him home.”

- 11x19: Dean has been looking for leads non stop for a week since Amara took Cas

- 11x21: Amara uses Cas’s heart to find Dean, then shows Dean images of Cas beaten and bloodied to convince him to turn against Chuck

- 11x23: Dean’s face when he realizes Cas is back and Lucifer is gone.

- 11x23: Dean tells Cas he isn’t stupid and that he always helps

- 11x23: Cas: “Dean are you okay? How do you feel?”

- 11x23: Cas hugging Dean super tight before he goes off to die. Dean entrusting his life’s purpose (look after Sam) then thanking him for everything.

- 12x1: Cas seeing that Dean is alive and hugging him while his voice breaks.

- 12x1: Cas taking the job Dean have him very seriously

- 12x2: Dean adorably venting to Cas about his mommy-issues

- 12x3: Dean- “Morning sunshine want some coffee.” Cas- “No thank you.”

- 12x7: “Well at least I don’t look like a lumberjack.” They are such husbands

- 12x7: “Engaged in what Cas? killing you?”

- 12x8: Cas being so worried about what happened to Sam and DEAN that Kelly escaped.

- 12x9: Mary-“You left them!” Cas- *voice breaking* “Dean told me to go!” Also, just Cas looking so hard for them.

- 12x9: Cas blaming himself for Sam and Dean being taken

- 12x9 Cas knowing how long the boys have been gone down to the hour.

- 12x9: Cas’s voice and eyes when he hears Dean’s voice on the phone.

- 12x9: Cas killing Billie because “You mean too much to me” and “The world needs as many Winchesters as it can get.”

- 12x10: Poor Sam having to deal with Cas and Dean while they fight like an old married couple.

- 12x10: Dean immediately telling Ishim to go to hell when he insults Cas

- 12x10: Sam telling Dean to go to Cas when Dean thought Cas was in trouble

- 12x10: Cas immediately believing Dean about Ishim even though they’re mad at each other. Dean about to let Ishim kill him to save Cas.

- 12x10: Ishim comparing Dean and Cas’s relationship to Ishims relationship with his human lover, then saying he was going to cut Cas’s human weakness

- 12x11: “And Cas is my best friend.”

- 12x12: Dean about Cas- “My shy but devastatingly handsome friend here...”

- 12x12: Dean stressing out and voice breaking as he tries to comfort poisoned Cas

- 12x12: LITERALLY TOLD DEAN THAT HE LOVED HIM WHILE CAS WAS DYING

- 12x12: *looking at Dean* “I love you.” Then adds “I love all of you”

- 12x12: Cas- “Run.” Dean- “Cas, no.”

- 12x12: The look Dean gives Cas when he won’t stop staring at him after he’s healed.

- 12x14: Dean says some very harsh stuff to Mary after finding out the reason they Cas almost died at the lake house was because Mary was working for the British Men of Letters

- 12x15: Dean could tell something was up with Cas after talking to him for less than a minute, over the phone.

- 12x18: Sam trying to make Dean feel better about not hearing from Cas.

- 12x19: Dean literally always acting like a scorned wife when Cas comes back after long periods of time

- 12x19: Dean made Cas a mixtape

- 12x19: Cas- “I ~needed~ to came back here with a win for you.”

- 12x19: Cas- *gesturing between Dean and himself* “You mean... we?” Dean- “Yes, dumbass, we.”

- 12x23: Dean screaming for Cas when he attacks Lucifer and trying to chase after him forcing Sam to drag Dean back through the rift. A direct parallel to Dean pulling Sam away from Jess and the fire in Pilot

- 12x23: Dean kneeling next to Cas’s dead body looking up at the sky completely devastated.

- 13x1: Dean couldn’t bring himself to say dead when referring to Cas

- 13x1: Dean PRAYED to GOD to bring Cas back

- 13x1: “We just lost ~everything~. And now you’re gonna bring ~him~ back.”

- 13x1: Dean personally wrapping Cas’s body and giving him a hunters funeral.

- 13x1: The look of complete devastation on Dean’s face when he burns Cas’s body.

- 13x3: Dean refusing to help save Jack because he blames him for manipulating Cas and getting him killed.

- 13x4: The Empty to Cas: “I know what you love, what you fear. There is nothing for you back there.” He loves Dean and Cas fears that Dean doesn’t love him back.

- 13x5: Sam being worried about Dean who has given up all hope since Cas died.

- 13x5: Dean being so distressed thinking Cas is gone forever that he tries to kill himself

- 13x5: Dean seeing Cas alive again and they both have tears in their eyes.

- 13x6: Dean hugging Cas and saying he’s been gone for “too damn long”

- 13x6: Dean being immediately happier and nicer to everyone once Cas is back

- 13x6: Cas saying “Yes. Yes, he does” (in response to Jack saying Dean really likes cowboys) with the tone of an exhausted spouse.

- 13x6: “I told you, he’s an angry sleeper. Like a bear.”

- 13x6: Dean made Cas watch Tombstone with him.

- 13x6: Dean and Cas dresses like cowboy husbands.

- 13x6: Cas saying “I’m your huckleberry” to Dean in a deep accent and Dean looking away.

- 13x6: Their undercover names are Russel and Kilmer

- 13x14: The whole scene where Cas and Dean fight Gog/Magog and act like an old married couple.

- 13x14: The angry, dark look Cas gives Donatello when he tries to kill Dean

- 13x16: “Dean has him by the thigh!” Cas, jealously: “He ~what~?”

- 13x16: “and that includes the Cartwright twins.” Cas, again jealously: “what did you do with the Cartwright twins?”

- 13x19: Cas angrily confronting Naomi about forcing him to kill a bunch of Dean clones.

- 13x21: Cas secretly sliding Dean more pizza when Mary and Sam left the room.

- 13x21: Cas having to hold Dean back from going after Sam. Dean would have beat the shit out of anyone else who tried to stop him.

- 13x23: Cas trying to stop Dean from giving himself to Michael even if it meant losing Sam AND Jack

- 13x23: Cas sitting alone in the bum jet with tears in his eyes after Dean left

- 14x1: Demon: “How is it you lost Dean. I thought you two were joined at the... everything.”

- 14x1: Dean trying to save Cas from Lucifer then vs Cas trying to save Dean from Michael now

- 14x3: The look that Dean and Cas give each other when Dean comes home.

- 14x9: Cas almost being happy seeing Dean happy. And then having to force himself to not be happy so he doesn’t die.

- 14x12: Cas being phased at Dean for wanting to put himself in the box with Michael forever

- 14x14: Cas is the only Dean will let talk to him about Michael and be honest about how Dean feels

- 14x14: “No, it’s on us.”

- 14x14: Cas’s voice breaking when he talks about the possibility of Dean dying one day.

- 14x18: The pure self loathing in Cas’s eyes when he feels like he failed Dean by not telling him about Jack’s soul.

- 15x2: “You asked ‘what about all of this is real?’ We are.” THE MOST ROMANTIC LINE EVER. (Plus later Eileen and Sam have the same conversation but they get to kiss because homophobia)

- 15x9- 20:00 Dean said that they lost everyone they cared about, then added Cas specifically. Then he says “I had to bury him” not “we”

- 15x9- 23:00 Dean cries when he can’t find Cas. Then he prays to him and apologizes for letting him go. He falls to his knees praying to him and fully crying

- 15x12: “I created the world.” *shows Destiel*

- 15x15: This time when Dean sees Cas leaving the bunker, he stops him. (In reference to Cas saying “you didn’t stop me” when Dean got mad at him for leaving)

- 15x16: This is the the only version of Cas that rebelled for Dean. This universe is literally being saved repeatedly because of Cas’s love for Dean

- 15x18: CAS CONFESSES HIS LOVE TO DEAN then goes to mega hell for being gay

Anyway, Cas loves Dean and Dean LOVES HIM BACK, OKAY?!?!? Feel free to add more

#spn #castiel #dean winchester #destiel #supernatural #deancas #spn season 15 #spndaily #superwholock #sam winchester #jack kline #jack winchester #carry on #despair #spn 15x19 #spn 15x18 #spn season 4 #spn season 5 #spn season 6 #mega hell #gay #husbands #listen they’re married #they gotta bring my boy back #please #I will fist fight andrew dabb in a Denny’s parking lot

[gates-keeper]

Part 1: “Words of Affirmation” Destiel Quotes & Parallels

I’m sure someone’s done this before me and done it better, but I’m compiling a huge Destiel evidence docket for no reason. Anyone got any quotes to add?

Comments From Outside Characters

To Dean

Uriel: “He has this weakness. He likes you.” (4x10)

Balthazar: “You have me confused with the other angel. You know, the one in the dirty trench coat who’s in love with you.” (6x17)

Hester: “The first time Castiel laid a hand on you in Hell, he was lost.” (7x21)

Meg: “He was your boyfriend first.” (7x23)

Charlie: “What about Castiel? He seems helpful. And dreamy.” (8x20)

Marie: “Although we do explore the nature of Destiel in Act 2.” (10x5)

Sam: “Shouldn’t it be Deastiel?” He then goes on to tease Dean with “Sastiel” which Dean takes negatively. (10x5)

Dean: “This Cas is looking at me weird.” Sam: “So like the real Cas then.” (15x14) 

To Castiel

Hannah: “We gave you our trust. Don’t lose it over one man.” (9x22)

Metatron: “His true weakness is revealed. He’s in love…with humanity.” (9x22)

Metatron: “Oh, that’s right. To save Dean Winchester. That was your goal, right? I mean, you draped yourself in the flag of heaven, but, ultimately, it was about saving one human, right?” (9x23)

Ishim: “I’m going to cure you of your human weakness [i.e. Dean]” (12x10)

The Empty: “I have tiptoed through all your little tulips. Your memories, your little feelings, yes. I know what you hate. I know who you love…There is nothing for you back there.” (13x4)

Demon: “I thought you were joined at the… (looks down) everything.” (14x01)

There are also several instances where other characters try to poke at insecurities regarding their relationship.

Naomi: “You're hoping Castiel will return to you. I admire your loyalty. I only wish he felt the same way.” (8x19)

Casifer: “There comes a time when every relationship has run its course.” (11x18)

Michael!Dean: “You only tolerate the angel because you think you owe him, because he ‘gripped you tight and raised you from Perdition.’ Or whatever.” (14x10)

Comments From Dean

To Cas

“There are two things I know for certain. One, Bert and Ernie are gay. And two, you are not going to die a virgin.” (5x03) 

“So what? I’m Thelma and you’re Louise and we’re just going to hold hands and sail off this cliff together?” (5x03)

“You know what? Blow me, Cas.” (5x18)

“Cas, not for nothing, but the last time someone looked at me like that, I got laid.” (5x18)

“Look, I don’t need to feel like hell for failing you, okay? For failing you like I’ve failed every other godforsaken thing that I care about! I don’t need it!” (8x07)

“We need you. I need you.” 

For more on this quote see the “We vs. I” section.

To Other Characters

Bobby: “I think maybe it’s time you made a call.” Dean: “Why does it always gotta be me that makes the call, huh? It’s not like Cas lives in my ass. The dude’s busy.” (Cas appears) Dean: “Get out of my ass.” Cas: “I was never in your… (head tilt)” (6x19)

“On my car…. He showed up naked… covered in bees.” (7x23)

While Cas suffered from some mental issues at the time, it seems somewhat significant that he sought Dean out under the circumstances, not Sam, etc.

“There’s things… people… feelings that I want to experience differently than I have before, or maybe even for the first time.” (10x16)

“My shy but devastatingly handsome friend here” (12x12)

“He came into my room and he played me.” (12x19)

“Let’s see. Crowley’s dead, Kelly’s dead, Cas is—Mom’s gone.” (13x01)

Dean’s inability to list Cas’s death singles him out as the most devastating of the losses.

“We’ve lost everything. And now you’re gonna bring him back.” (13x01)

While some people have heard this as “bring ‘em back”, the Netflix captions and transcripts I have been able to find say “him.”

“And Cas bought it. And you know what it got him? It got him dead! Now you may be able to forget about that, but I can't!” (13x03)

“I have a family.” (In response to John Winchester lamenting Dean doesn’t have a wife and kids) (14x13)

Comments From Cas

To Dean

“I was getting too close to the humans in my charge. You. They feel I've begun to express emotions. The doorways to doubt.” (4x16)

“I’m hunted. I rebelled. And I did it—all of it—for you.” (5x02)

“I gave everything for you. And this is what you give to me.” (5x18)

“I do everything that you ask. I always come when you call.” (6x21)

“So you will bow down and profess your love unto me, your Lord.” (6x22)

Before taking on the role of God, Cas seemed very concerned with Dean’s forgiveness/acceptance/love. It is interesting that, as God, that was the first thing he asked for, turning from Sam (who had just stabbed him) to Dean to ask for love.

“Sam, and everyone you know, everyone you love, they could be long dead. Everyone except me.” (10x22)

“I love you. I love all of you.” (Arguably to the group, but the first “I love you” can be seen as Dean-specific, especially since it cuts to Dean after being said.) (12x12)

“You mean too much to me. To everything.” (12x9) (To Mary, Sam, and Dean. However, the camera immediately cuts to Dean specifically, even though he is in the back of the group).

“I’m your Huckleberry.” (13x06)

Cas love confession (15x18)

To Other Characters

“Dean and I do share a more profound bond.” (6x03)

“I won’t hurt Dean.” (8x17)

This is said as Castiel is breaking away from Naomi’s mind control—mind control she fostered specifically by having Cas kill a thousand versions of Dean. This implies she knows that Cas’s strongest loyalty is to Dean, not Sam, or humans in general.

“The point is that they [Dean & Sam] were here at all and you got to know them, you -- When they're gone, it will hurt, but that hurt will remind you of how much you loved them.” (14x14)

“You know, Dean, he... he feels things more acutely than any human I've ever known.” (15x13)

Other Comments

Reaper: “How do I start looking for this... Castiel?” Bartholomew: “I got one word for you. Winchester.”

Rowena: “An Angel of the Lord, shattered at the altar of Winchester.”

Use of We vs. I

In the crypt scene in Season 8, Dean tells Cas, “We need you.” This is not enough to stop Cas’s actions. When the language switches to “I need you,” Cas drops the angel blade.

We can clearly see that Dean tries to put up barriers about how he really feels about Cas in his use of “We.” For example, after showing the audience many scenes of Dean, not Sam, frantically trying to call Cas, we get the following lines:

“So not only were you ditching us, but you were also ignoring us?”

“With everything that's going on, you can't just go dark like that. We didn't know what happened to you. We were worried. That's not okay.”

It’s clear that these “we’s” are really “I’s”

In the alternate future presented in 15x9, Sam asks Dean, “What’s happened to you Dean… ever since…?” to which Dean responds, “Ever since what? We lost pretty much everyone we’ve ever cared about? Ever since the Mark made Cas go crazy and I had to bury him in a Malak box… ever since then?” While he acknowledges Sam’s losses as well, his switch to “I” in reference to Cas implies that Cas’s loss belongs especially to him.

(Mostly) Verbal Parallels to Other Couples

In 1x01 (start at 2:27), Dean pulls Sam away from a dead Jess in a direct parallel to how Sam pulls Dean away from Cas in 12x23

Following Jessica’s death, Sam keeps seeing glimpses of her as he and Dean travel around in the Impala. Dean does the same in Season 8 following his return from Purgatory without Cas.

David from “Bloodlines” (9x20) tells his love interest, “I was there. Where were you?” which is the same thing Dean says to Cas in “The Man Who Would Be King” (6x20)

When asking Dean whether he’s in love with Cassie, Dean gives a similar response to what he will say in 10x5 when asked about Destiel.

Destiel is paralleled with their counterparts from the Supernatural play who are “a couple in real life” (10x5)

Cain compares himself to Dean in Season 10. He describes the significant kills of his life (The Knights of Hell, his wife Collette, and his brother Abel) and tells Dean that he will follow his same pattern by killing the King of Hell Crowley, Castiel, then Sam. It is also mentioned that all Collette asked of Cain was “to stop,” which is the same language Cas uses with Dean in 10x22.

Dean explains how his parents fell in love to prove his identity to Mary in 12x1, “He was cute and he knew the words to every Zeppelin song, so when he asked you for your number, you gave it to him, even though you knew your dad would be pissed.” Later in this same season (12x19), Dean gives Cas a homemade mixtape of his favorite Zeppelin songs.

Ishim fell in love with a human named Lily Sunder who ultimately left him for someone else. When trying to recruit Castiel, he compares Dean to her.

Dean questions how much of their life has been controlled by God. Cas states, “You asked, ‘What about all of this is real?’ We are.” (15x02) Later, they find out that God has been using Eileen to spy on the Winchesters. She says, “After what happened, I don’t know what’s real anymore.” Sam kisses her, stating “I know that was real.” (15x09)

PART 2 “Physical Touch” Now Finished

#destiel #destiel fanfic #destiel is canon

[im-gay-and-mentally-unstable]

Video game AU

-The School is an online game that had existed for years and is now long after its times of glory, only the most determined players remain and not many newbies show up

-they still host competitions with small sums of money as the first prize

-there's plenty of smaller guilds, but they are slowly getting absorbed by the two largest- Forever and Never

-Forever, its members simply Evers, was the first gathering of some of the strongest players in the game, most of them already connected by friendships, and they slowly took over a lot of resources, earning a huge in-game advantage

-however, a lot of strong players didn't get past the member limit and felt disgusted by the advantage guild players received and in reaction, they made a guild of their own, even the title solely to spite the Forever- they named it Never

-the two guilds are in never-ending competition with each other for years, no one ever being able to grow significantly stronger, stuck in a cycle, almost no one joining in or leaving until Agatha and Sophie come along

-they have both grown up in the same household with Stefan and Vanessa, except Vanessa is dead and Sophie hadn't quite recovered before Stefan remarried again, straining their relationship permanently

-in attempts to earn her affection again, he buys her various gifts, this time, he bought the game to try and give her a new hobby

-she'd normally just abandon it, it's so out of fashion and she isn't interested in things like that in the slightest, but the most popular guy of their school, Tedros Pendragon, who also happens to be the interest of Sophie's undying love, or climbing for popularity, however you want to call it, is the head of Forever

-she makes a master plan, where she intends to join the game, become a legendary player and help him on his journey, making him fall in love with her in the process

-the thing is, she doesn't want to do it on her own (and absolutely doesn't want to go through pages of guidebooks and class descriptions), so she begs Agatha until she agrees to go through with it with her

-they start going through the early stages of the game and level up quickly

-Sophie spends most of her time trying to search for Tedros and save him while Agatha builds their collective inventory

-she very much hates to admit it but she got really into the game

-they become really good fast, mainly because of how much time they spend there (for very different reasons) and the talent for the game they both have

-while Sophie is off hunting for Tedros, Agatha joins a new guest that has just appeared and manages to complete it before the members of Forever, who just walk into the scene and are impressed

-Tedros invites her to fill the last available place in their guild and she tries to refuse and recommends Sophie instead, but they insist and she caves in

-Sophie finds out and is furious, in her frustration, she joins the Never guild in an upcoming tournament, motivated even more to prove herself

Character classes:

Tedros -> fighter

-> honestly the obvious choice

-> strong attack power, almost no health

-> fights in the first line of attack all the time

-> pretty dependent on other players' support

-> at his best as a team player, but incredible on his own too

-> thought the armour looked cool

Agatha -> paladin

-> she just liked the idea of protecting everyone but also doing damage and not being codependent

-> she made the smart choice for balanced gameplay

-> her saviour complex also came into play

-> never plays the first line unless forced to, but if she does she absolutely destroys everyone

Sophie -> sorceress

-> didn't read any of the guides, but liked the idea of throwing fireballs and destroying shit

-> somehow gets all the overpowered spells

-> again, she has huge attack power and very poor defense

-> she doesn't even need defense though, just kills everything and everyone before it gets to her

-> spent an ungodly amount of game money to buy pretty outfits

Hester -> sorceress

-> spent hours trying to figure out the best character for her playing style

->somehow has mastered all the spells involving explosions

-> always in the first line of attack

-> extremely powerful but very prone to getting killed in the first seconds of the match

-> doesn't like to say she depends on backup but the rest of the coven somehow needs to save her often

Anadil -> assassin

-> mostly plays from the shadows without getting discovered

-> usually prefers playing in team as support but also really powerful on her own

-> spends a lot of time making her skills as balanced as possible

-> somehow always plans the strategy

-> the person that spends hours on choosing the best possible armour and weapons

Dot -> cleric

-> just wanted to spend some time with her friends at first, ends up enjoying the game a lot

-> likes playing support even though it's extremely underrated

-> doesn't really do attack stuff unless forced to, usually just healing and defense

-> usually a team player

Nicola -> paladin

-> unlike most others, she prefers playing alone to playing in team

-> her whole character was built around the fact she planned to play on her own

-> and she's way too good

-> she switches between guilds as an exchange player to help out and is very widely respected

Kiko -> druid

-> usually just wanders around with cute animals and smiles

-> then she absolutely destroys you in combat

-> she always says she does it for the joy of playing with her friends

-> she very much just wants to win

Hort -> assassin

-> just chose the character that sounded the coolest and edgiest

-> soon regretted it since his playing style is to rush towards the enemy and try to not die in the process, which is not very compatible with the low defense his class has

-> Dot feels bad for him so she keeps him alive during matches

-> Hester and Anadil often use him as the necessary sacrifice in battles

Beatrix -> fighter

-> she shocked everyone with her character choice but her whole team supports her

-> usually rushes into combat side-by-side with Tedros

-> would be first one to sacrifice herself heroically if Reena wasn't obviously biased in her favour and didn't let her

Reena -> cleric

-> never really plays in the front line

-> supports her friends from behind

-> doesn't mind playing the underrated role, it makes it even more fun to her

-> really powerful even though she barely shows it

Millicent -> druid

-> not really a lot of reasoning for this one, I just have her associated with nature

Chaddick -> archer

-> he prefers bow in the series too so that's it, that's all my reasoning

Ravan -> fighter

#sge #sge alternative universe #sge video game au #school for good and evil #the school for good and evil #agatha of woods beyond #sophie of woods beyond #tedros of camelot #beatrix of jaunt jolie #hester of ravenswood #anadil of bloodbrook #dot of nottingham #reena of pasha dunes #nicola of woods beyond

[beecastle]

@badthingshappenbingo

Prompt: Forced to Kneel/Bow

Fandom: His Dark Materials

Characters: Lee Scoresby, Hester, Marisa Coulter

Word Count: 745

Warnings: Death (not Lee’s)

Also on Ao3: Guns for Hands Ch.7

Previous chapter: Russian Roulette

MASTERLIST

��    Lee’s blood runs cold. He looks up and finds the woman standing in front of the soldier, wearing a charming smile. 

“I have a couple more things I was hoping to discuss with Mr. Scoresby. If you don’t mind, of course.” Mrs. Coulter flashes him another smile as she makes her way into the room. Lee hugs Hester closer while watching everything unfold. If he wasn’t so tired and hurt, he’d be making witty comebacks or trying to figure out the reason behind the woman coming back, but all he wants is to catch a break. 

“Of course Mrs. Coulter,” the soldier tells her, turning around to follow her, “but I assure you, any information he might have had is now useless, and Lee here isn’t much of a talker.” He places his hand on Lee’s head who immediately tenses up and moves his neck but is unable to escape the soldier’s grasp.

“I still have a couple of questions, captain, so please humor me?”

“Certainly.” The soldier yanks Lee’s hair forcing the aeronaut to look at him. “You should show the lady some respect. Kneel.” As he says this, he taps the holster on his belt where the gun with the remaining bullet is. Lee feels so much hate for the soldier and the smirk of enjoyment on his face. Every part of him wants to put up a fight, and defy any order given to him even after all that has happened, but the thought of the daemon in his arms stops him. So he ignores any feelings he has and after carefully placing Hester on the floor, he shifts from sitting into kneeling. Lee’s face is burning and he keeps his eyes on the floor, unwilling to see either of their reactions.

“You sure did a number on him,” Mrs. Coulter comments, crouching in front of Lee and lifting his chin with one of her fingers. The aeronaut tries his best to avoid her examining gaze.

“Just doing my job” is the soldier’s answer and Lee could swear he hears a little chuckle when he says it. Marisa lets go of Lee’s head and looks at the soldier.

“I’d like to be alone with him.”

“He might be dangerous ma’am, I don’t think it’d be a good idea.” In reality, Lee isn’t sure he can even stand, he’s not much of a threat to anyone.

“I’m sure you have places to be, Captain, so really there’s no need for you to stay. You could even leave me the gun so I can feel safer,” she suggests.

“As you wish ma’am.” The soldier hands her the gun and turns around, walking past both of them towards the door. Mrs. Coulter quickly raises the gun and shoots at the man. Lee flinches at the sound and sees the soldier’s body fall to the ground and his daemon becomes ashes. He doesn’t have time to feel relieved at his captor’s demise because he’s now alone with the woman who just shot him in cold blood.

“Can you stand?” Mrs. Coulter asks while she goes to the body and searches for something. Lee moves slowly and with the help of the nearby wall, he manages to get to his feet. He knows it must be the adrenaline allowing him to move despite his injuries. The woman hands him the keys to his shackles and then proceeds to check how many bullets are left on the gun. Seeing it’s empty, she throws it on the floor and opts for taking her own gun out. “We need to get going.”

     Once Lee is freed from the shackles he picks his shirt and jacket from the ground and despite the pain in his back, he puts the latter on, as he knows the shirt is more likely to stick to his wounds. Once he’s done Marisa motions for him to go first. As he moves he does his best to stop the grunts from coming out. Hester is silent beside him, she has always been better at pretending to be okay, but this time anyone who sees her can tell she’s also injured.

     When they’re at the entrance of the cell Lee turns to Mrs. Coulter, asking the question he isn’t sure he wants an answer to. 

“Why did you come back?”

“Turns out you’re useful for something after all Mr. Scoresby, even if you don’t know it. Now stay silent, we wouldn’t want to attract the Magisterium’s attention.”

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NEXT CHAPTER

#lee scoresby #hester #marisa coulter #hdm #bad things happen bingo #his dark materials #bee castle writing #thanks Moony for beta reading this!

[feathersandfoxtails]

Pass Back Through the Heart, Chapter Eleven

Pairing: Lee Scoresby/reader Rating: EXPLICIT (18+ ONLY) Warnings for this chapter: sex Words: 3.5K Summary: As Lee heals, you grow closer

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also on AO3

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The first night you stay in bed with Lee, but the next you make yourself a space on the floor next to him. As he watches you put down the blankets, you can see him beginning to pout. Instead of being annoyed, it just makes you amused, which you try to hide.

“You don’t have to sleep on the floor, you know.”

“I worry about bumping your wounds at night. This will give us both a little bit of space.”

He grumbles as you go into the bathroom to change. When you return he’s sitting on the edge of the bed, waiting for you to help him. He can’t move very far without leaning on you for support, so you escort him to the bathroom.

As you take his arm from your shoulders, he says, “You know, I could use some help in there…”

You point your finger at him. “Don’t push your luck, cowboy.”

He chuckles and closes the bathroom door.

That night you awaken to the sound of Lee groaning. You kneel on the bed and put the back of your hand on his forehead, checking for a fever.

“Do you need something more for the pain?” He nods and you find more of the ground up root Kalluk left for him. After you mix it with water, he drinks it and settles back down.

“I sleep better with you up here.”

You roll your eyes. “You’re a giant baby.”

Turning his head, he gives you a pleading look. You hate that you’re a sucker for those doe eyes. So you climb in next to him, wrapping an arm around his torso. When you look up at him a moment later, you swear he has a smug smile on his lips.

The next morning after you’ve had breakfast with Lee, you pull on your boots to check in with your new friends.

“What am I supposed to do all day?” Lee mopes on the bed.

“I left you a stack of books within reach.”

“Can’t I go outside with you? I can’t stand being cooped up in here all day!”

“You have to heal, Lee. Which means not moving around and tearing your stitches.”

Hester chimes in, “Listen to her; she’s trying to do what’s best for you even if you don’t care.”

“You never can take my side, can you, rabbit?”

“If you get out of that bed I’ll walk as far away from you as I can and then you’ll wish you’d stayed in bed.”

Lee crosses his arms and sticks out his bottom lip.

“I’ll come back for lunch!” you call as you and your daemon step out the door.

Immediately you have to squint your eyes against the blinding brightness of the sun bouncing off the snow. The village is about as bustling as it ever gets, with people starting their days off. Most of the people you see nod or smile at you as you pass. You’re starting to recognize faces even if you haven’t learned their names yet. A small child runs past you, but stops and stares at you. You give them a small wave, but their eyes get wide and they run off.

You spend the morning sorting and grinding herbs with Kalluk. Once she shows you what to do, she doesn’t talk much. Which suits you just fine—you find the silence of working in the same room comforting. Later you chop wood and then help mend a roof. The community has welcomed you and Lee and being able to feel like you are repaying them puts your mind at ease. The house you’re staying in is reserved for guests, so you’re thankful to not feel like you’re imposing too much.

After the first two days your fear that the Magisterium will burst through the clouds in airships subsides. You start to think that either they couldn’t find you or they didn’t try. If they’ve decided you and Lee are not worth pursuing, it would make both of your lives much easier. But you know you’ll probably be looking over your shoulder for a long time.

The days pass slowly with you trying to earn your keep in the village and Lee recuperating in bed. After a few days Lee is better able to move around on his own but not walk very far. Since he’s going a little stir crazy, you find some small tasks for him. One day you bring him strips of leather to braid into ropes, which it turns out he’s very good at.

“Years of ranch work in Texas.” He goes on to tell you stories from his younger days back home which have you laughing and cringing at various points. As you ask him questions, you notice he skirts around anything to do with his family. You drop that subject as you can guess his early home life was probably a lot like your own, which would explain how you both ended up far from home and always on the move.

Tonight he’s been sitting at the table for quite a while, so you order him back to bed. Though he complains as usual, he follows your instructions. When you bring a candle for the bedside table, he quietly says, “There’s something I’ve been wanting to talk to you about.”

His voice sounds too serious and it makes the hairs on the back of your neck stand up. “Okay.” You pull the chair up next to the bed.

“I do remember a little bit after I was shot.”

“What do you remember?”

He looks down at his lap and puts his hand on Hester. “You picked her up.”

At the memory, you feel the blood drain from your face. “I’m so, so sorry, Lee. I didn’t have a choice.”

“No, I know. It felt—”

“I know how it felt—that man who grabbed my daemon, it felt like absolute shit. I didn’t want to do that to you, I promise.”

“I told you someone had touched Hester before and how awful it felt.”

“I know; I wouldn’t have done it if it wasn’t completely necessary, I promise.”

“It didn’t feel like that.”

You blink rapidly. “What… what do you mean?”

“It was… different.”

You shake your head. “I don’t understand.”

“It didn’t hurt, not like before.” He takes a deep breath before finally looking at you. “When you held her, it was like you were holding me. You were holding me— keeping me safe. But it also felt… incredible.”

You can’t seem to form words or even thoughts. The only thing that comes out is, “But why?”

“I think because it was you. If it was anyone else, even if they were trying to help us, it wouldn’t have been the same.”

“I don’t—”

He swiftly grabs your hand and brings it to his chest. “Will you do it again?”

You snatch your hand back, disgust creeping through you at the request. All your life you had been taught never to touch another person’s daemon. You had only done so out of necessity to save Hester and by extension Lee. Everything feels wrong about this; how can Lee ask you such a thing?

But then Hester looks up at you and for a moment you find yourself dazzled by her eyes. Though her fur is plainly colored, her eyes are the most unusual gold-brown color with flecks of green. They are the color of the sun’s reflection on a lake or the ground right after a snowmelt. You’ve always thought she is beautiful, but never before had you allowed yourself to just stare into those eyes. The only other eyes that have ever captivated you so belong to her human.

“It’s okay,” Hester tells you. She inches closer to you.

You look to your own daemon, who has crawled into your lap. He burrows under your arm and nods to you. Lee slowly moves your hand towards Hester, letting it hover above her head. She flattens her ears against her head and closes her eyes. As you gulp, you take over and bring your hand down to her.

As soon as you touch her, Lee lets out a moan. You try to take your hand away, but Lee’s hand is still covering yours, keeping it in place. Looking at his face, you expect agony. But instead he looks… euphoric. Ever so slowly, you let your fingers scratch the top of Hester’s head. Her fur is both soft and wiry. Lee just gazes at you, his eyes glassy and a smile on his face.

In your lap, your daemon comes out from under your arm and makes his way onto the bed between you and Lee. Lee takes his hand from yours and moves it towards your daemon.

“NO!” You grab your daemon and hold him against you before Lee can touch him.

Lee seems to come out of his trance. “I’m sorry! I thought… I won’t. I won’t unless you ask me to, I promise.”

“What the fuck just happened?” You’re on the verge of tears, not understanding any of this.

“I love you.” He seems to blurt it out. With wide eyes, you just stare at him. “That’s why it’s different, I think. Because of how I feel about you.”

“Lee…”

“I’ve never stopped loving you. And I still have never loved anyone else. Because you stole my heart, angel. And you still have it. Always. I know I fucked up and I know you hate me for it. But I just needed to tell you. Because I almost lost my chance to.”

Lee drops his head to his chest and squeezes his eyes shut. As you stand up, your daemon hops to the floor and Hester follows him. You see a tear fall into Lee’s lap and that solidifies your decision. You put one knee on the bed, then swing your other leg over Lee’s lap so you’re sitting on him. When he looks up at you in surprise, his striking brown eyes are wet.

You take his face in your hands. “When I thought I might have lost you… I knew in that moment that I still love you, too. As much as I tried to deny it every single day, I can’t anymore.”

Before he can reply, you kiss him.

After dinner and dessert, you found yourself walking along the empty street with him. He was silent, but shooting you a goofy grin.

You took his hand. “You checked in anywhere yet?”

He nodded. “Got a little room up the road.”

“Fancy sharing it?”

His grin got even wider. “Suppose we could, seeing as how we’re engaged and all.”

You laughed and leaned against him. Suddenly he stopped walking and put his hands on your hips, pulling you to him. Your hands automatically went to his shoulders just as he leaned in and kissed you. He wasted no time getting his tongue in your mouth and you matched his enthusiasm.

You caught your breath a moment and asked, “How far is that room?”

He kissed you once more, then grabbed your hand and pulled you with him as he walked as fast as he could. Your daemons bounded in front of the both of you, leading the way. The hotel was thankfully close and Lee didn’t break his stride as he burst through the front door. Some heads turned your way as you gleefully let yourself be led upstairs.

As soon as the door to the room was shut, your hands and mouths were all over each other. Lee sucked on your neck as you helped him undo his buttons. You licked the crest of his ear as he tore at your belt. Soon you crashed onto the bed together, half undressed. Finally you stopped kissing him long enough to wriggle out of your shirt and bra. Without pause, he took one nipple in his mouth, eliciting low moans from you. He pinched the other one and you tried to grind your hips against him to find some friction. He just chuckled at your efforts.

You both still had your underwear on, but you reached down with your foot and rubbed at his bulge with your toes. The sharp intake of breath from him encouraged you to continue. Then he tore himself away from your breasts and kissed a line down your torso. At your belly button, he put his thumbs in the waistband of your underwear and you lifted your hips to help them down.

As soon as your underwear hit the ground, Lee’s tongue was on your clit and you were in heaven. Soon his fingers joined in, caressing your folds and teasing your opening. You were wiggling desperately, wanting more. Lee gave a soft laugh against you; the extra breath was divine. Then he slowly put a finger inside you, which you were so wet and ready for. He sucked your clit and hooked his finger up inside you. In moments you were on the edge, panting and clenching the sheets.

“That’s it, gorgeous,” Lee purred at you. His voice only added to your build and in a moment your pussy was convulsing on his finger and you were crying out his name. Before you had even come down, Lee was pulling off his underwear and positioning himself over you. You gasped as he entered you, delighting in the stretch from him.

Giving you barely a moment to adjust, he started thrusting into you. You raised your hips a little, seeking the perfect angle. You couldn’t quite find it, but his movements were delicious nonetheless.

But all through dinner you had pictured tonight in your head, and this wasn’t what you wanted to do to him. So you pushed his chest until he stopped, giving you a questioning look. You smiled. “I wanna ride you, cowboy.”

His confusion turned to excitement as he pulled out of you. As soon as he was sitting with his back against the headboard, you climbed on top of him. You slid easily onto him and started bobbing up and down. He cupped your breasts and just watched you, mesmerized. Leaning back a little, you braced yourself on his thighs and he held your waist to steady you. You let your head tilt back and concentrated on everything you were feeling, not caring if he was enjoying himself or not. But as soon as you looked at him again, you knew it was good for him, too.

You couldn’t hold that position for long, so you sat back up. Lee met you there, wrapping his arms behind you and slamming his chest against yours. He took over the driving of the movement then, pounding up into you until you were breathless.

You were close again and just whined, “Leeeeee…”

“I’m gonna come… do you want me to pull out?”

You were so close. “Nooooo…”

“Can I come inside you?” His voice was shaking.

“Yesssss… fuck yes. Don’t stop…” Then your rapture overtook you and you trembled in his arms.

He followed you a moment later, sucking on your collarbone to stifle his cries of pleasure. When he came to his senses again, he gently kissed the red spot. “Sorry… that might leave a mark.”

“Worth it.” You winked at him.

After you both cleaned up, he spooned you in the bed. As he left tiny kisses along your shoulders, you asked, “How long are you in town for?”

“At least a week.”

“Hmm…. I think I could stay that long.”

He held you a little tighter. “Might need some backup again. And I wouldn’t mind having a roommate if you’d like to stay…”

He fell asleep before you and you listened to his tiny wheezing and felt his breath on the back of your neck. You smiled, thinking, This is going to be an interesting week.

As your lips meet for the first time in such a long while, it feels as if no time at all has passed. There is no timidity in your kiss—just a satiation of the hunger for each other you’ve had since being starved of the other. You kiss him slow and deep and he meets you there, pulling you in close against him. Nothing else matters in the world except the taste of him on your tongue.

But then that is not enough—you need to be closer. Pulling away from him causes him to whimper, but you merely lean back and tug your shirt off. At this sight, Lee looks like he’s about to cry again. As you kiss him again, you take off your bra and then move his hand to your breast. Your skin is on fire where it meets his, but it’s a beautiful burn.

Needing even more, you help him take off his shirt and he winces as it goes over his injured shoulder. You kiss the top of his shoulder, then continue to his neck. He hasn’t shaved in over a week and his short beard is soft against your cheek. Turning his head, he captures your mouth again. Pressing your chest against his only satisfies you for a moment and then you want more still.

Quickly you stand next to the bed, shedding your pants. Lee has his unbuttoned, and you help him take them off. You take just a moment to appreciate the beauty that is Lee Scoresby naked and he does the same to you. With a smile, you return to his lap and to his kiss.

When you stop for a breath, he holds your face and tells you, “I’ll never ever leave you again, I promise.”

“Shh… I know.”

“I swear I’ll keep that promise, always.”

“I know, my love, I know.”

As you kiss him again, his hands move down to your waist, his calloused fingers raking against your smooth skin. Reaching down between your legs, you hold up his erection and position yourself above him. Slowly you sink down his length, Lee moaning the whole time. You’d been with other men since him, but none ever felt as if he was made for you like Lee does.

Resting your hands on his shoulders, careful of his wound, you lay your forehead against his. With a measured, unhurriedly pace, you move your hips. Your bodies remember each other, drawn together again in the duet only you have sung together. Everything in this moment simply feels right and that this is where you should be.

Moving a little faster, the spark inside you spreads and grows. Lee’s face shows only awe; his entire being purely worshipping you.

“Lee, I love you. I’ll always love you.”

He pants, “I love you. Only you. Always you.”

The wildfire inside sweeps through you and you feel Lee chase his own bliss, hips bucking under you. You watch as his face crumples and he empties himself into you. He opens his eyes and you can’t stop yourself from taking ownership of his mouth all over again. You’ve found paradise once more and this time you won’t let anything drag you away.

You stay on his lap, kissing him until he’s soft inside you. Then you just stare into each other’s eyes and smile, no words being needed now. When you hear your daemons cooing together on the floor, you roll off him to his uninjured side and snuggle up under his arm.

He kisses the top of your head. “Thank you.” You give him a quizzical look. “For forgiving me. For loving me.”

You kiss him again, then turn to your daemon. He climbs onto the bed next to you and you bring him to your lap. Gently you take Lee’s hand and bring it closer. He holds his breath and stretches out his fingers.

The moment he comes in contact with your daemon, you realize what he was trying to tell you before. There is no pain like you’ve felt before. All you can feel is his love for you flowing from his fingertips to your daemon to you. Your whole being tingles with this new sensation and you wish it would never end.

He looks at you, concern knotted on his brow. You see he’s worried about hurting you, but you know he would never. Hester hops onto the bed and sits on Lee’s thighs. Without taking your gaze from Lee, you stretch out your hand to her. She nuzzles her face into your palm and Lee’s face relaxes. The four of you stay like this the rest of the evening.

Later, after Lee is asleep, you whisper to your daemon, “You always knew I still loved him, didn’t you?”

“Yes, but I knew you needed to get there yourself.”

“What happens now?”

“The two of you need to decide that.”

As you fall asleep, you think about how Lee may have been right years ago—one of you will need to sacrifice your job and your lifestyle for you to be together.

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Tagging: @sunflowersturn @phoenixofthevalley @serpentstyles

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Let me know if you would like to be added to the taglist!

Thanks for reading! 💜

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Chapter Twelve

#lin-manuel miranda #fic #lee scoresby #his dark materials #fanfiction #lee scoresby x reader #lee scoresby x you #his dark materials fic #reader insert #fanfic #lin-manuel miranda fic

[alwaysahiccupandastrid]

His Dark Materials - Season 2 Episode 7 *FINALE* (Thoughts and Rambles)

We have a LOT to unpack here oh my god oh my god

When I say I was screaming and yelling during the episode, I mean I was LITERALLY screaming and yelling

This post is mostly screeching and capital letters, you’ve been warned

“So cold” “life or death meant nothing” - well shit. Accurate description of a Spectre attack damn

I didn’t know what those creepy noises were at first and I was sat here absolutely TERRIFIED because it was creepy as fuck. Then I realized it was cliff ghasts because they said something that I recognized from the book and I was like “oh shit”

Pan and Will talking is the sweetest omg

The fact that Pan told him that Lyra thinks he’s as brave as King Iorek Byrnison :’)

“She’s the best friend I’ve ever had” “You’re her best friend too” - STOP, MY HEART

Lyra was awake and heard the whole conversation :3

“I’m no longer an aeronaut” :( “I’m an insect” - LMAO

Hester and Lee’s banter remains my favourite thing and now it’s bittersweet tbh...

“You could never be an insect, Lee” “Okay, hare” - bless them

Marisa finding where Lyra was staying and then finding Lyra’s coat?? And crying with it pressed to her face?? :’(

In case I haven’t mentioned it already, I am incredibly gay for the witches/their aesthetic/costume. Absolutely beautiful queens, all of them

Oh hi, it’s Mary and the two kids!

The fact that Mary helped them find their adults :’)

Also, “We like you miss” - BLESS

I’m kind of confused as to whether the blue flower petals are important or if it’s just her smelling them? IDK

“I’m close to my father, it’s time I found him” - OOF OKAY UMM ARE YOU SURE

“I let my best friend down” - Noooo Lyra, no you didn’t! :( Your dad is a terrible parent and killed him, that’s not your fault!

“Maybe this is how I let you down” - Well done, Asriel and Marisa, you’ve fucked up a perfectly fine child is what you’ve done

Will telling Lyra that she hasn’t let him down :3

That witch turning up because she was trying to warn Marisa about the spectres, only for Marisa to torture and kill her... oof

FUCKING MONKEY I CAN’T DECIDE HOW I FEEL ABOUT HIM

“She’s MY daughter” - Okay, damn, lady...

“EVE. She’s the mother of all” - OH FUCK YOU TOLD HER. OH FUCK OH FUCK OH FUCK

THE SPECTRE ATE HER DÆMON OMG NO THIS IS HORRIFYING WTAF

Seriously, the way the witch went so grey and lifeless and just fell to her knees and down... Urgh, my stomach is turning

Just when I thought I hated the monkey again, he starts whimpering because he’s afraid of the Spectres :(

“Stop whimpering” - DAMN MARISA YOU ARE A STONE COLD BITCH HUH

Pan being the damn voice of reason and telling Lyra they should stay with the witches like yes, Lyra, listen to him for once!!!

Okay but why are the Magisterium soldiers lowkey dressed like German soldiers from one of the World Wars???

I’m not really surprised that BBC left out the detail of Ruta and Asriel fucking when she found him to be honest XD

So the witches think that the Æsahættr is a person but it’s actually the KNIFE. AND THEY DON’T REALIZE. RUTA YOU DON’T NEED TO GO ANYWHERE, IT’S LITERALLY RIGHT THERE

“...That’s not my dæmon.” “Run.” - OH SHIT OKAY MY WHOLE BODY JUST TENSED UP

So umm Lee got shot and FUCK NO FUCK NO I’M NOT READY FOR THIS EMOTIONALLY THANKS

I LITERALLY DO NOT WANT THIS TO HAPPEN OKAY

“You’re either with me or against me” Umm he’s your dæmon?!?!

THE WAY SHE SCREAMED AT HIM OH MY GOD SHE’S FUCKING TERRIFYING HOLY CRAP

“What are you frightened of?” - oh, I don’t know, Marisa, maybe because YOU FUCKING SCREECHED AT HIM. MAYBE HE’S FRIGHTENED OF YOU

Also I love the detail of Marisa getting onto her hands and knees, sort of crouching and mirroring the monkey’s body language. I just love the parallel

The way the monkey flinched from her when she went to touch him omg :( No dæmon should be THIS afraid of their person (or at all?!?!)

Honestly, I find this series’ portrayal of Marisa fascinating tbh

“We have to do whatever it takes to keep her safe” - Umm, like maybe drugging her and hiding her in a cave for months? 🤔

Also in case I didn’t say this before, the fact she has complete control of the Spectres is fucking scary and always has been from the very first time I read the books

Okay so Lee is fully aware that he’s going to die if he stays behind but he does it because he knows that it’s the best chance of making sure that Lyra ends up under the knife’s protection (because Jopari will find her). All Lee wants is for Lyra to be safe and that hurts my heart so much, he loves this child so much :’(

“I love that little girl like a daughter” - LEE STOP MY HEART IS ALREADY BREAKING AS IT IS

NO NO NO NO I AM NOT AND NEVER WILL BE READY

Oh hey Red PAN-da (sorry I know I keep repeating that joke but honestly LOOK AT HIM)

“Once I change, you’ll stop changing” - OH SHIT. So we’re having THAT conversation then

“What do you think you’ll be?” “A flea I hope” - LMFAO I LOVE IT

“Is it Will that’s changing you?” “I think” - FORESHADOWING FOR AMBER SPYGLASS ANYONE?!

All the meanwhile, while Lee is dying and shit is going down, Ms Mary Malone is just chilling in a cave on a mountain by a waterfall, just reading

I literally struggled to watch Lee’s final scenes. I literally didn’t want to watch it because I cried reading it in the book, and I knew I’d be the same here

The fact that Lee HATES taking away people’s lives but he says “it’s theirs or Lyra’s”... I love him. He loves her so much.

“Think about anything, think about bacon!” - LMFAO I LOVE YOU HESTER YOU ABSOLUTE GEM

THE BULLET CLIPPED HIS SCALP AND I HAD A HEART ATTACK 

“This is my fault, isn’t it?” - NO HESTER NO DON’T YOU DARE BLAME YOURSELF DARLIN’, YOU ARE THE BEST AND WE LOVE YOU AND LEE LOVES YOU

I do this everytime I read the book and I did here even though I know what happens, but I was praying mentally that maybe Serafina would reach Lee in time... just maybe...

I’m really sitting here crying over Hester and Lee on a Sunday night, love that for me

Hester limping :(

“Don’t you go before I do” - FUCK YOU BBC AND PHILIP I’M SOBBING MY EYES OUT

“Oh how far we flew” - STOP IT. STOP IT RIGHT FUCKING NOW I SWEAR-

I literally yelled and cried out “NOOO” when Hester faded away and Lee died. I am so upset even though I KNEW it was coming. I am literally not okay.

Oh god no Will, now is not the time to be walking away from Lyra and that witch 

Also why is that witch asleep on guard?? Come on, love, do better, it’s not like these are the two most important children in all the universes.... 

To be fair to Marisa, I’d feel pretty invincible if I were climbing up a mountain while the Spectres were guarding me/on my side

WILL AND JOHN FINALLY MET AHHHH

“I was told I’d find my father here”  - YEAH AND THAT’S HIM WILL ASDFGHJKL;

I’m low-key disappointed that there’s no brawl between Will and Jopari here. Like they instantly recognize each other and... hmm. I know there has to be changes but still.

“Your mother, Will, where is she?” - Awww. John really didn’t stop loving her :’)

“My son... is the Knife Bearer” - oooooohhhhhhh

“You have a dæmon” - that’s right, Will. Don’t worry, you’ll get one next season

The way I audible went “oh shIT” when Mrs Coulter found Lyra fast asleep. Like I said, I knew what was going to happen but STILL

I’m not really surprised that those Spectres killed the witch who was supposed to be guarding Lyra and Will tbh like that’s what happens when only ONE witch guards two teenagers and that witch falls asleep

The way that Lyra panicked when she woke up and saw her mother stroking her cheek omg 

Off topic but I’ve only just realized that Jopari has a fucking man-bun LMFAO OKAY

The fact that Jopari tried to get back to Will and Elaine but couldn’t will always hurt me

“And you chose these people over your family?” - I MEAN-

“I’ve thought about you every day.” - Awww

So John tells Will that he has to go to Asriel and bring him the knife, and he tells him all about the war that’s coming and I have LITERAL chills because I’m so ready

“And then we go home?” “... And then we go home.” - RIP MY HEART OUT, IT WOULD HURT LESS

“I’m not strong enough” - yes you are, Will! I promise you, you are! And Jopari says, “Both of us were brought here” - exactly! You were brought there for a reason by fate or whatever you want to call it!

“Your duty was to be my father” - WILL REALLY CAME FOR HIS DAD LIKE THAT I GUESS

“Look what you’ve become without me” - Oh my god, just when I thought I wasn’t going to cry again

JOPARI HUGGING WILL, SEEING THE SOLDIER AIMING, AND THEN PUTTING HIMSELF BETWEEN THEM SO HE TOOK THE BULLET INSTEAD OF WILL ASDFGHJKL;

So in the book, Jopari is killed by a scorned witch who had once asked him to be her lover, but he had turned her down (because of Elaine and Will obviously), and she kills Jopari in front of Will and then he kills her (I think?). But here it’s just a soldier leftover from the Lee vs Magisterium fight, so... yeah. Kind of a little peeved about the change personally but whatever I guess.

“The night is full of angels, they will guide you now” - AHHHHH

Also, might just be me, but maybe that line would have been slightly more impactful if the scene had taken place at night

This show really said “fuck healthy parental figures” I guess

Except Will’s mum, she’s the best and if anything were to happen to her we’d all riot

SAYAN KÖTÖR FADING AWAY NOOOO I HATE SEEING DÆMONS DIE

Okay, last little gripe, but I just wanted to say that in the book, Will doesn’t realize it’s his dad until literally the last second before his dad dies - like they both realize and then BAM, Jopari is killed. And while I do love the father-son reunion, I am kind of annoyed by the change because it was such a huge punch in the gut in the book that Will searches for so long for his dad, only to lose him the second he finds him.

Serafina finding Lee’s body and kissing his forehead was yet another punch in the gut, thanks Pullman/BBC/BadWolf

The fact that Will had to bury his dad :(

Also, WILL WEARING JOPARI’S JACKET OH MY GOD MY HEART

Oof that shot of his amputated fingers...

So the narration, when it started I thought it was Jopari at first, like from one of his letters... but then as it continued, I went “hang on”, and then I said outloud “wait, is that ASRIEL?!”

DID MARISA REALLY PUT LYRA IN A FUCKING TRUNK?!? BITCH ARE YOU OKAY?!?

Will putting his hood up like his dad did just hits differently

Okay so um ASRIEL HI I WASN’T EXPECTING TO SEE YOU THIS SEASON OH MY GOD THE SCREAM I LET OUT

HIS MONOLOGUE BY THE WAY IS FUCKING ART AND A MASTERPIECE BUT I WAS TOO BUSY CRYING OVER JAMES MCAVOY TO WRITE THE WHOLE MONOLOGUE DOWN

Oh, hi Stelmaria!

It always makes me scream that this man is not only Lord Asriel now but he’s also fucking Mr Tumnus and MOTHERFUCKING BILL DENBROUGH LIKE HOW IS THIS MAN INVOLVED IN SO MANY OF MY FANDOMS?!?

ANGELS ANGELS OH MY FUCKING GOD-

“We stand with you, Asriel Belacqua” - AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

“Let us prepare for war” - FUUUUUUUUCK

(I was deadly serious when I said this was just me screaming and crying by the way)

I’m still reeling over the fact that Marisa put her daughter in a fucking trunk. Like I get you can’t exactly carry a drugged child about in the open but Jesus Christ, love, really?!?

Also Ruth Wilson / Marisa Coulter in a headscarf? *chef kiss*

The way that the screen went to black as she put the lid on the trunk down - SHIT OH SHIT GOOSEBUMPS

THE CREDIT SONG IS SO BEAUTIFUL BECAUSE IT HAS FUCKING ANGELS NOW I’M-

I WASN’T EXPECTING THE POST CREDITS SCENE OH MY GOD

ROGER?! ROGER! IT’S ROGER I’M NOT OKAY-

BBC YOU CANNOT JUST DROP THAT ON US LIKE THAT FUCK-

“What is this place?” - I’M SCREAMING SO LOUD I CAN’T HOLD IT IN

For anyone unaware, the reason I’m screaming so loud over the post-credits scene is because in TAS, while Lyra is drugged and in a groggy sleep, she has these visions of Roger talking to her from the Land of the Dead, which then later leads to her and Will actually GOING to the Land of the Dead and... well, the rest is even HUGER spoilers but YEAH I’M NOT OKAY.

Honestly, I’m just so happy and emotional because I’ve been waiting over a decade for a decent adaptation of not only NL but for TSK and TAS too, and we’re 2/3 there now. Just one more book/series to go... I wish we could have it now. I really hope that filming for the final one starts ASAP because if we have to wait two years just to see the conclusion to this series, I might cry.

This series is so amazing, and this season especially has been so incredible to watch. It’s been the highlight of my week for seven weeks, and I have no idea what I’ll do with my Sundays now that it’s over. I’ve asked for the DVD for S2 for my birthday already (since it comes out 29th December and my birthday is 13th January... just saying), and words can’t describe how much I do love this series. I know it sounds hollow since I say it about so many things I’m into, but this was such a huge part of my childhood and it’s one of my favourite fantasy series of all time. It’s truly one of the most incredible pieces of literature and now it’s making for incredible television... I love it so much.

#hdm #his dark materials #lyra belacqua #lyra silvertongue #marisa coulter #will parry #lee scoresby #hester #pantalaimon #jopari #john parry #lord asriel #serafina pekkala

[themadauthorshatter]

OTP PARENT HEADCANONS PART 2

Because I'm bored.

And I want to give myself some serotonin.

And because I've put this off for a long time😅

RED QUEEN:

Shade and Coriane were never afraid of monsters under their beds because Cal would "scare them away" with a really bright flashlight.

Both children have a little bit of buidling and tinkering in them. Shade showed it by switching out lightbulbs and pointed out the ones he was putting in would be better at being adjusted than the ones before and Coriane showed it by fixing a clock.

Mare isn't exactly the best at cooking, but she's at least better than Cal. And her mother; sorry, Ruth.

Both children are excellent swimmers, much to Cal's chagrin.

Coriane remembers meeting her great Nanabel, and the smile she had at the sight of her great granddaughter.

Shade didn't really have a chance to meet her.

Both children wish they could have met their uncle on their mother's side and uncle, grandfather, and grandmother on their father's side.

Both Samos siblings are allowed to see the children, and neither of the children were excited; they'd heard "scary stories" about them and their father, who sounds scary; no, Cal didn't make it clear that Volo was dead, all he said was the Samos patriarch had fallen down and didn't get up, so they assumed that meant he couldn't use his arms anymore.

They were all pretty surprised to meet each other.

Ptolemus was more like a fun uncle than the berserker they all knew.

He did explain that Volo did indeed fall, but couldn't get up because of how high he fell.

The electricons love how entertained the children are with their lightning abilities.

Tyton is a pretty good babysitter. Coriane is allowed to stay up, but only after Shade has gone to bed.

Kilorn is not allowed to teach either child how to swim; there was an 'incident' where Cal tried to be brave and go swimming and Kilorn scared the living hell out of him.

That's fine because neither children like swimming.

Yes. Just because the children are good at swimming doesn't mean they enjoy it.

Mare has told Gisa she doesn't need to make the children outfits, but Gisa did it anyway because she loves her niece and nephew.

The court ettique stuck with Cal, which has led to him raising the children to be very formal.

SCHOOL FOR GOOD AND EVIL(I'm naming Tedros and Agatha's son Anthony):

Both parents were kind of scared Anthony was mute because he didn't start talking until he was nearly a year old. He's not mute, he just doesn't talk much.

You have to catch him at just the right moment. Anthony is completely silent around large crowds or assemblies, but with his parents he's half of a chatterbox, at least.

Anthony and Agatha can have full conversations with nothing but facial expressions.

Tedros had a hard time getting Anthony to open up to him, and decided to give the boy space for a little bit.

It was absolutely worth it for the heart to heart they had.

Hester and Anadil hate kids, but Agatha's and Tedros's little demon spawn is the only exception to that statement.

Anadil was won over by how he didn't cry and even 'said' how her rats were cute.

Hester, however, only warmed up to him when she spent a longer time with him, and after getting a chance to watch him because Aunt Sophie kept stepping in.

On one such occasion, where Anthony was surprised by Hester's watching him, the boy was overjoyed to see her, hugging her closely. He then backed up and stepped back, giving her a wave and smile. As she understood his silence better than Sophie, Hester wrote to him on a paper, 'Did you miss me THAT much?' Anthony nodded and wrote back, 'Yes!'

Sophie is not a helicopter aunt, but she loves Anthony a bit too much for his liking.

She NEVER talks about how she'd been hoping he was a girl.

Anthony isn't a fan of pink, but he doesn't hate it. Pastel is fine. Anything more vibrant makes him puke.

Both Tedros and Agatha were surprised to see how good Anthony was on horse back.

Heart attack angst moment: A former supporter of Rhian and Japeth snuck into the castle and made an assassination attempt on the royal family, more specifically Anthony. Tedros threw his son behind him and drew hus sword and Agatha shot a spell at him and proceeded to tackle him to the ground, not caring about her dress or the fact that the assailant was still armed.

Anthony colud not watch the execution because he hates bloodshed. He's a vegetarian/vegan and tries to eat as little meat as possible because he often spends time in the stables and around animals.

Agatha and Tedros are aware of this and are okay with it, though Tedros has him eat a single steak for dinner and teo eggs for breakfast once a month on seperate occasions, just so he doesn't lack any iron or protein.

To clarify, by separate occasions, I mean that Anthony will eat the steak one day and the eggs later another day within the month. After that, he can indulge in as much vegan/vegetarian food as he wants.

Have fun trying to convince Tedros and Agatha to let him attend the SGE; it's not that they have unpleasant memories, they just want him to try and have as normal of a life as possible.

On a walk, and when the Tagatha child was a teen, Tedros noticed some girls trying to flirt with Anthony and that his son barely reciprocated their actions. He pointed out that they were showing an interest in him, and Anthony admitted that he knew and he just didn't really feel the same way; he didn't exactly see why they were so flirty when he didn't feel like giving it back to them.

NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS(The triplets I'm naming Jacob, the eldest boy, Luna, the middle girl, and Daemon, the youngest boy):

Jacob is 98% the triplets' father; he'd be a spitting image if it weren't for his mop of hair, he's sharp as a whip, but still puts the E in idiot(please tell me you git that Jenna Marbles reference!!!).

Luna is arguably the smartest, but good luck getting a, 'you don't say' out of her. She won't tell you she's smarter than you, she will show you. Good thing Jack and Sally keep her in check.

Daemon is the family's "underdog." He has the last minute, 'this will work,' Jack Sparrow plans. He's quiet, he sews, he sings, and if he's not trailing behind Jack, Sally, or his siblings, he's probably touching up his clothes.

Jacob was the idiot kid that got electrocuted to the point his red hair turned black. He barely remembers it, but now all he tastes is cold peanut butter. Daemon has often suggested and offered to do it again, but Luna stops him. Pro: he's spending more time with Luna and Jacob is safe. Con: he's spending time with LUNA and Jacob still doesn't remember.

Jacob, as the oldest, attends 'meetings' with Jack and the Mayor. It doesn't bore him, he just gets tired of the Mayor's whining.

Jacob doesn't get Christmas. Luna has the basic idea of it. Daemon is the only one that understands, but doesn't explain it fully out of spite; Jacob called him scatter brained because of an incident where, at the table, a cockroach crawled out of his eye socket.

Daemon is the only one of his siblings to have eyes.

Even though she's literal bone, Luna has stitches that are very close to Sally's.

Neither Jack nor Sally have nicknames for the children, besides terms of endearment.

You know you're in trouble when Jack looks at you and looks ready to dig your grave himself.

All three triplets have Jack's fire power, but no one's gotten hurt because of it, even though Jacob and Daemon had one close call.

Neither parent would ever even dream of raising a hand against the children.

It's safe to say that Luna and Sally use common sense the most out of all five of the family members.

Daemon smells like pumpkin and cinnamon. He finds both himself, cinnamon bark and small, apple-esque pumpkins, and eats them like skittles and popcorn.

Another result of the electrocution, Jacob is hard of hearing where is left ear would be, if he had ears. He can't hear at all in the "ear." Not even a ringing sound.

The only reason Jacob doesn't like something is because he doesn't get it. At all.

Luna sees the glass as half full, Daemon sees the glass as half empty, and wonder if it belongs to someone who drank out of said glass, hence its being hald empty, and Jacob just sees a glass of water, now can he just drink the rest?

Luna, the best with herbs, has poisoned her brothers. Sally found out and she was grounded.

Daemon, to see how much he could take, dived off the roof of Dr. Finkelstein's tower. It took Jack, Sally, Luna, Jacob, and Zero all day to collect all of him. He was grounded and locked in his room.

Jacob got grounded for a few things: setting his sister on fire(no one knows who started that fight.), hiding in a morgue to scare people only to end up falling asleep, even as they tried to cremate him, and then waking up in front of the humans, pretending to be one of the hanging men on The Hanging Tree, and dancing on top of the tallest Pyramid in Egypt.

The children do misbehave sometimes, but their parents love them.

Jack and Jacob don't see eye to eye exactly, but they still get each other.

Luna loves both her brothers, but she will hang out with Daemon more than Jacob.

Daemon has a lot of glow sticks he collected and they all still glow when it gets dark. Jacob used his thinking cap and had a moment of big brain time, and drank some of the glow stick juice.

One more thing he got in trouble for.

Daemon also got in trouble, but he was allowed to keep his glow sticks.

Luna is a good singer, Daemon is a great dancer, and Jacob is the best at succeeding their father

#red queen #school for good and evil #nightmare before christmas #marecal #tagatha #jack x sally #tiberias calore vii #mare barrow #sge tedros #tedros of camelot #sge agatha #agatha of woods beyond #jack skellington

[repetitionsings]

Sorting Cabin Pressure

I return! Briefly, because tumblr still hates me, and yet triumphant, because I’ve spent the last week re-listening to Cabin Pressure, and I want to talk about sorting the MJN crew. So let’s do some Sorting Hat Chats!

As usual, my view on these characters may not be yours, and if you have different thoughts, I’d love to hear them. :D Discussion spans the entire 27 episodes, so let’s say spoilers just to be safe.

Martin

Despite probably having the biggest, best-defined character arc, I'm finding Martin the main character I'm least set on. 

Secondary-wise, I'd say he's definitely a built secondary; very little of Martin's improvisations seem to come comfortable to him. His insistence on doing things right and by-the-book feels fairly Badger, but his ability to be lured into shortcuts and moments of unprofessional behavior feels to me like a Bird who thinks that Badger hard word and toil is the best option. It also seems to fit with the way he becomes calm and confident once something works out for him, and then immediately loses it once things go wrong and he feels unprepared again. The few episodes where he really gets to be confident and succeed particularly feel Bird-y to me: relying on knowledge in Johannesburg especially stand out.

(That said, Badger also seems to ring consistently with the way he handles a lot of things -- his dedication to his job, his hard work, even the way half the time he does get confident, it's either because Douglas isn't there to bring him down, or he seems to be pretending to be him.)

Primary-wise, though, that's where I get tripped up. Not a Snake, I think; even his hesitancy to leave MJN is half about his own goals and issues, not fully founded in caring about others. Badger doesn't quite seem right either -- "being loyal and true to things or people that exist is more important than sticking to grander but more abstract ideals or concepts" does not sound like Martin at all. My first thought was Lion, just one that's still struggling to be as decisive as they usually are -- despite his hesitancy, and his instincts being 'follow the rules written by others', a lot of the Lion stuff seems to apply to him. "They are willing to sacrifice their safety, social harmony, and a certain amount of logic to do what they feel is right." "There is right and there is wrong. Things are black and white. Shades of gray are places where people go to play games, twist the truth, and to be cowards."

But... he does bend the rules, or sit back and let Douglas do so. If nobody who makes him feel like he has to put on the act is there -- see Newcastle and Qikiqtarjuaq -- he'll bend them pretty far. Trying to drop candy on a kids' birthday party (Johannesburg) and lying to a passenger about where they're flying (Timbuktu) levels of far.

So who's around seems to be a big part of it, which maybe could point back in a loyalist direction. I think in the end, though, I'm going to throw up my hands and say, maybe a Bird whose system is in progress from something fairly immature and black-and-white to something more complicated? Martin's devotion to his passion and his job above all else feels pretty Idealist to me, and this seems a little more fitting than him being an extremely malleable Lion.

Douglas

Douglas "at any given moment I never have fewer than seven ulterior motives" Richardson? Douglas "did something clever and now everything's fine" Richardson? Douglas "pretending very hard not to care about anything, actually cares very deeply, but only about specific things and specific people" Richardson? Is there even any point to considering an answer besides double Snake here? Douglas might as well be the model of it. Trickery is his first language. He schemes, charms, adapts, and lucks out in order to achieve anything in his sights, whether that's as small as a relief from boredom or as big as saving the day.

Motivation is trickier -- but it becomes clearer and clearer as time goes on how far Douglas is willing to go to save MJN, and outside his own desires to be the captain again, that seems like the biggest thing that ever drives him. Combine that with his hedonism, and the way he's happy to lie, cheat, and steal to accomplish most other things with no notable guilt or shame, I don't even see hints of a model or structure built over it; the things that matter to him are his own reputation and status (and even that in very specific, particular ways), and saving GERTI and her crew.

(That said, the more I think about it, I do think you could make a solid argument for Douglas as a rapid-fire Bird Secondary. Mostly built around Zurich -- his confession that his confidence started, not just as a mask, but wholesale imitating somebody else. There's also this excerpt from Finnemore's Farewell Bear Facts: "Douglas prefers to hang back, let other people make mistakes, work out the 'something clever' he's going to do in secret, and then present it with a flourish." While that could be Snake-y, I could see it as a Bird's planning working for someone whose very invested in his own reputation. That said, I still think Double Snake seems the most applicable overall.)

Carolyn

Carolyn's drives are a kind of mirror to Douglas', which is interesting to reflect back on. The two things she cares most about are how she's seen, and -- even if she sometimes shows it in her own strange way -- Arthur. Then Douglas and Martin start to rank in there over time, and eventually so does Herc. (Martin moreso than Douglas -- speculation, but I think it's probably because everyone knows Douglas will take care of himself first, so he doesn't need to be worried about so much.) Money matters to her of course, but several times it comes down to show that if money was the most important thing, she'd probably have given up GERTI a long time ago. We get it set out plainly as early as Douz: "Because I am the Chief Executive Officer of MJN Air. It’s a good thing to be. It’s better than... a little old lady."

I think it's possible to read Carolyn as an extremely burned Badger; there's something in how she reacts to her sister that makes me think I can see it. But in general, I'm more inclined to say Snake Primary. One that isn't fully burned -- Arthur's never really out of her circle, I think -- but does have a hell of a time opening up her circle to new people by the time of the series. Just look at the trial Herc goes through before he gets there.

Lion Secondary, I think. She's the immovable object to Douglas' unstoppable force, and Martin is the thing unfortunately trapped between them at times. She's stubborn and honest, hates playing at being nicer than she is and only does it when absolutely necessary, and cares about her rules being followed but not the rules in general so much. She's whip-smart, but she doesn't actually tend to be tricky or slippery in the same way as Douglas -- and in fact, the one time we really see her try to be actively tricky, in Timbuktu, she loses. She's more likely to ignore opposition or tell someone else to solve it, and even when she pulls something, it's usually pretty straight-forward. (For example, calling Hester's fans in Cremona -- it's an underhanded move against someone who's earned her ire, but not really a complicated scheme.)

Arthur 

I think Arthur shares his mother's Lion Secondary. He's a force in his own right as much as she is, even if he's more of a tornado to her steel barrier. He's honest to a fault and very much always himself, no matter what the situation, or how much better it might be to try and do something else.

As Primary goes, it's hard to tell if this is just Arthur's optimism shining against everyone else, but my first instinct is Badger. He wants to be helpful, oftentimes too much so, and he likes them so much it tends to be notable when he doesn't like somebody. His focus tends to be the people in front of him at the time, but that does extend to include other people when they're there -- it's not just the crew at all times. While I think it's possible to see him in other lights, Badger seems to make the most sense and work with what we see of his wants through the series.

Herc 

While most of the other minor or reoccurring characters don't show up enough for me to have even an idea, I think we do get enough of Herc to narrow it down some, if not make a completely secure conclusion.

My first instinct is that he's yet another Snake Primary in the mix. It works with his role as a foil for Douglas, and with his willingness to give up his position to be with Carolyn by the end of the series. (That said, I feel like his speech on why he's a vegetarian in Ottery St. Mary could point towards Bird Primary as well, and would make sense with everything we see of him.)

He seems straightforward in a way that doesn't line up with a Snake Secondary to me -- that could be a matter of the situations we see him in, but I still just don't see it in his conversations with Carolyn. I'd say maybe a Lion Secondary, in the way the two of them clash and he stands his ground. Bird Secondary also makes sense, but admittedly I'm having trouble pointing to anything specific that made me think so; there's just something in the way his manner bounces off the others, and in the way he seems to almost take on and off All-Knowing Air Captain mode.

In conclusion --

Martin: Double Bird with a Badger Secondary model Douglas: Double Snake Carolyn: Snake Primary/Lion Secondary Arthur: Badger Primary/Lion Secondary Herc: tentatively Snake Primary/Lion or Bird Secondary

or, as they say in Limerick... But for Arthur, they're all quite constructed With the Snakes bickering interrupted By a worrying Bird From the Captain's chair heard Til the newest of Snakes is inducted

Carolyn's Lion is strong and won't coddle Martin's Bird, leaning against his model Or the Lion she raised By the Snake she's unfazed And thank you all, for reading my twaddle

#sortinghatchats #sorting hat chats #cabin pressure #Sorting Things Out #m: cabin pressure #til binary systems run

[lit-in-thy-heart]

you know what, what's the point of being on this platform if you don't get to bellow into the void about your interests in the hope of finding someone with the same interest?

in light of this, let me inflict a lowdown of the victorian literature (mostly novels because poetry is difficult to collate) that i've read for my module this year upon my mutuals

i'll do a separate one for vampire novels and reblog with the link

because what are the victorians without vampires? straight

bleak house (dickens): what a ride that was! yes, it was nearly a thousand pages and, yes, some chapters i was like can we move on please, but that's dickens for you. honestly, i loved it. if you're looking for thinly-veiled lesbianism, this is the book for you (esda all the way, if they even have a ship name). unfortunately i already knew one of the plot twists due to watching dickensian five years before, but there are plenty more to go around! if you can get through the first chapter describing nothing but fog and the law courts, you're in for one hell of a treat -- just don't google anything about it until you've finished because you will get spoiled (or don't share a house with me, where i'll tell you the entire plot as i'm reading it). definitely recommend, but marking it down for the heteronormativity with allan. (9.5/10)

villette (c. brontë): where to fucking start. i, quite frankly, do not care for charlotte brontë, and when reading the earlier novel agnes grey by anne, i could see some more things that charlotte has filched for this travesty. no victorian novel is going to be without problems, but this one was xenophobic, ableist and, of course, racist. the protagonist doesn't really give anything away, which is meant to make her more mysterious, but it just renders her an empty vessel. oh, and she tells you stuff that she's figured out waaaaaay after she says she's figured it out, a bit like she's allowing you to feel smart for making a connection before going 'oh yeah i knew that like twelve chapters ago, keep up'. some of the passages are really striking and there's maybe one character who's likeable but that's about it. i'd say it's more a story of omission than repression tbh. (4/10)

janet's repentance (eliot): wait, have i even finished this? no, no, i have not. it's fine, i wasn't going to tell you the ending anyway. i did get hooked eventually, there were just a LOT of names thrown around in the first few chapters, and a word that i didn't know was used frequently (turns out it was a name for the followers of this guy). i did get strong hester prynne/arthur dimmesdale vibes from some of the main characters, but janet is a very sympathetic character which, after reading villette, was nice. slightly depressing in some places, but a good enough read if you're not cramming it in the day before your tutorial, because it is mildly dense. (7/10)

the wonderful adventures of mrs seacole in many lands (seacole): not what i'd been expecting to read on my module, what with it being a biography, but enjoyable nonetheless. horrible histories lied to me, though, she was in her 40s/50s when she treated people in the crimean war, not in her 20s, but that's minor. it was actually quite funny??? like she was very reluctant to give away to give away her age and almost slipped up a couple of times, and also made some very biting remarks about people who were passing comment on her skin colour. for a biography, it wasn't hugely biographical, in that she was married for what seemed all of five minutes before her husband died, when in fact they were married for several years, but if you want an in-depth depiction of war, this is for you. not what i'd usually read, but some of the descriptions are so vivid that it does read like a novel in places, though sometimes the descriptions were so detailed that i did tune out at odd intervals. (9/10)

the happy prince and other stories (wilde): if you're feeling low, don't read these. don't. especially not 'the nightingale and the rose', because that was honestly heartbreaking. really well-written, some passages were just beautiful, i just wasn't in the right headspace to fully appreciate it. it also has a lot of death, i should probably explicitly say that. (8/10)

agnes grey (a. brontë): chef's kiss, honestly. if i'd read this last year then i think it definitely would have hit a lot harder, what with agnes moving away from home for the first time and struggling with loneliness around people who she is different from. beautifully written, i'm irritated at myself for not reading it sooner, even though i've owned a copy for about four years or so. agnes does come across as a bit wet sometimes, but those moments are rare and far between, she's overall a resilient character who is trying to make her own way in the world. seeing as i managed to get through the whole thing and didn't lose focus on what i was reading, i rate it higher than jane eyre (which is a rip-off of this anyway). we stan anne. though i am marking it down for the underdeveloped romantic relationship that just pops up (9.5/10)

now for some old classics that weren't taught on my module, but i can't not mention them

a tale of two cities (dickens): this was my first dickens book and oh my word what a book. yeah, okay, lucie is a bit of a wet dishcloth and has basically no personality, but there is definitely something there between her and her maid. sydney is my baby and oh so gorgeously dramatic ("you have kindled me, heap of ashes that i am, into fire"), which was perfect for the pangs of unrequited love. the plot is slightly confusing, and you don't really understand everything until right near the end, but i loved finding parallels in the chapters set in france with the chapters set in britain. oh and the showdown between miss pross and madame defarge is wonderful. i had a tradition of reading it on the run-up to christmas, just because that was the period when i read it for the first time, but i haven't done that for the past two years just because of exams and stuff. now, bleak house just pips it at the post, but i still love it dearly. (9/10)

wuthering heights (e. brontë): i couldn't review victorian literature and not include this. there are very strong similarities between this and villette (seems charlotte really drew on her sisters' work), particularly in terms of me not liking a single one of the characters except hareton. everyone is called cathy. literally. and heathcliff/cathy one is a toxic ship that should not be boarded. it is obsession, not love. the second volume is basically a repeat of the first one, thus showing that humanity will never move past its vices and will be caught in a vicious cycle of self-destruction for the rest of time. again, though, beautifully and vividly written. the characters are the type that you love to hate. (8/10)

the tenant of wildfell hall (a. brontë): what. a. book. this was a book that was simultaneously loved and condemned as scandalous when it came out. there's mystery, there's a woman escaping a horrible situation and making her own living, and there's a well-developed relationship! and the characters are likeable (i love rose, she's great, completely goes off at her brother when she has to do things for him all the time), which always puts it onto a winner. there's one chapter with gilbert that i have to skip just because i hate what he does in it. there are quite a lot of religious references, with redemption playing a huge part in the novel, but even the religious views brontë expresses went against a lot of the teachings of the anglican church at the time. do i even need to say that it's beautifully written if it's anne? marking it down for gilbert's behaviour and arguable control of helen's narrative. (9.5/10)

far from the madding crowd (hardy): i love this book. a little more uplifting than tess but still with the drama and murder you'd expect from hardy. maybe my review is influenced by my tiny crush on bathsheba: she's not the best role model but damn what a woman. gabriel isn't quite bae but i love him all the same, i'm so glad he's happy in the end. (9/10)

#literature #victorian literature #gay #victorian #dark academia #anne bronte #emily bronte #charlotte bronte #dickens #george eliot #mary seacole #queer #oscar wilde #thomas hardy #novels #wuthering heights #jane eyre #villette #agnes grey #bleak house #a tale of two cities #vampires #far from the madding crowd #the tenant of wildfell hall

[witchofrvnswood]

awwp rant pt. 2: the characters!

oh boy we’re finally back with part 2! 

so in part 1, i discussed plot points that i found troubling and nonsensical. this time, i’m talking about the characters and how they each pissed me off <3

note: am only doing the ones i have beef with, everyone else is cool

let’s start with sophie:

sophie

i’ll be honest, i’ve been conflicted on her character in this book for quite some time. but i think i understand my opinion on her in book 2 much better now that i’ve really thought about it. 

so this is the book where she’s probably at her most vulnerable (book 3 could be a contender too). she just lost her mind, killed many people, and is trying so hard to prove that she is good and deny everything that she had done the previous year. we also see why she behaves the way she does, with losing her mother at a young age and blaming her father for neglecting them. we understand why she goes so far to obtain love and why she ranks true love above everything else.

but her methods with dealing with this is toxic. she sees agatha as a tool for a happy ending, and it seems to come more out of desperation to belong with someone, then wanting agatha herself, as she easily dropped her for rafal and then tedros in book three. she does whatever she can to ensure agatha chooses her and only her much like tedros does in this book.

she sneaks out and follows agatha, makes agatha believe tedros tried to hurt her, comforted her and claimed she had “warned agatha” but also acted super forgiving as if agatha was the one who was in the wrong for doubting her and when the truth comes out, pins it all on agatha for trying to choose someone besides. her. now, agatha is not completely in the right in this situation, but what sophie does is so manipulative and cunning. without knowing her backstory and sympathizing with her, she would easily be soon as a cruel and toxic person.

her time as filip was very humbling for her and she realized what she did was completely wrong and she begans to sympathize with tedros and realize maybe he isn’t the villain of the story like she painted him to be. of course, this goes a bit far and she finds herself attracted to him.... which..... did not need to happen considering how toxic their relationship was in book 1.

at the end, she chose rafal out of desperation to be loved, showing she still hasn’t changed and ended up staying with him as he supposedly was the only person in the world who still loved her. (wrong very wrong he’s awful but we’ll get to that later-)

tedros

bro. broooooo. when i tell you i wanted to throw the darn book when i read his scenes in the first half of the book-

when dovey was explaining tedros’ actions after sophie and agatha left, i could not believe it, i thought she had to be joking because no way does an individual overreact to THAT point.

he literally wanted to murder sophie as revenge for taking agatha away from him?? what?? is he mentally okay? i understand seeing her as a barrier between them because, yeah, he’s always been insecure cause his dad’s best friend stole his mom away from him so that must’ve hit a nerve, but agatha willingly went with sophie. why does he need to hurt sophie over this? it’s up to agatha who she chooses, not sophie. and she chose him! she told him right to his face that she chose him and he’s still like “no we have to kill sophie first-” sir-

not to mention how generally messed up this message is? tedros claims that you can’t be in a relationship and have friends at the same time. what?? why is this in the book? why is this even a theme? of course you should be able to have friends and have a relationship, when did that suddenly become impossible?

 “I let her live last time and she took you! I can’t make the same mistake, Agatha. I can’t lose you again!” (Chapter 12). this is basically tedros trying to cut off agatha’s friendship because he knows she’s close with sophie and is worried she’ll choose her over him and he sees his only solution to this to be killing sophie. honestly, if i were agatha, i would be fucking terrified of him, like when i was reading it i was thinking “run from this relationship please-”

which sucks because i’m a huge tagatha fan but they were undeniably toxic in this book for me.

in the second half though, that’s when i started feeling bad for him because he genuinely thought he got betrayed by agatha too and ugh that killed me bc after her, he had no hope for happiness left and that’s why he turned to revenge, but the moment he freed the teachers, he got locked up, starved, beaten, and tortured which is ??

i wouldn’t wish that on anyone (except aric lawl) and god he did not deserve that i felt so horrible for him. everyone turned against him, the entire school hated him, he fully believed his true love betrayed him, and he got beaten by aric every single night. as much as i despised him before this point, he did not deserve any of that and i’m so glad filip came when he? she? did because yeah it’s tophie all over again (yikes) but he REALLY needed a friend then and i’m so happy he got one.

ONLY TO GET BETRAYED BY HIM AGAIN RIP. sorry that was not needed but ahem

i was so so happy when he realized agatha never lied and ended up going home with her, as much as i hated the ending, i was happy for him and only him, boy’s been through too much.

but overall, i’d say i dislike him as a character in this book but i also felt super bad for him?? book 2 is so complicated y’all i have so many mixed feelings about everyone in this book.

agatha

okay. so. i keep going back and forth between being fucking annoyed at her and feeling bad for her which i feel is an understandable summary of how she is in this book.

her being scared of sophie - i completely understand that. i’d be surprised if she wasn’t. this is a girl who tried to kill her, tore her down, and went batshit crazy just nine months ago and is now suddenly calm but there’s still a bad vibe to her? and she chose her over someone who finally treated her well, finally saw her as an equal, and showed her that she doesn’t have to bear so much burden just to be loved back.

but i honestly felt kind of annoyed at how she automatically, no hesitation wanted to stay with tedros forever and never look back. um. honey. let’s break this down. we’re talking about a boy she has had no contact with for nine months, wasn’t even in a solid relationship with before she left, and said boy probably has beef with her for leaving him in the first place. and she feels completely fine with sneaking into his school and telling him she wants to be with him forever the SAME day she got back.

what??? is??? this???

this is the same agatha who berated sophie for trying to get with tedros the same day she met him without even knowing him well, right? the same agatha who you’d expect to be smart and think through emotional decisions like these, right? did they replace her personality what???

i get the coven pushed her to meet him immediately but this was just so poorly planned out and so tactless i can’t help but judge her sorry hun.

after that she makes herself believe sophie is good and perfect and maybe this is just her lying to herself because she’s mad at herself for choosing tedros but reading about her talking about how sophie is so amazing and perfect and loves her more than anything compared to being ready to bolt at the sight of her was just so fake. can we talk about how fake their friendship in this book? how fake it is in general? i think wbk.

at the end she finds out sophie lied despite the obvious clues (the scim suit (WHY WOULD BEATRIX USE IT), the spirick marks on sophie’s wrist yada yada yada) and she dumps her ass for tedros and decides they’re staying together forever despite barely knowing him as a person not to mention he just tried to kill her um-

(where is the logic in this book please help me i can’t seem to find it-)

the coven

i’ll be honest: they annoyed the HELL out of me in this book. well, specifically anadil and hester. they pressured agatha to choose tedros and go to him on the first day she got back (BAD PLAN) all so they could return to normal,,, which i guess isn’t out of character for them to do anything to get what they want but it really wasn’t their business? or at least they had no right to be as pushy as they were.

not to mention how HORRIBLE they were to dot. oh my god. the way they treated her in this book was disgusting and the lowest point in their friendship. at first i passed it off as them being hurt that dot replaced them and were lashing out because they had no better way to deal with their problems, which is true but also?? let’s not forget they BULLIED dot so bad in their first year and even kicked her out and replaced her with sophie and as far as we know, they never apologized for it. can we really blame dot for wanting new and kinder friends?

but even then they persisted to isolate her from others, shut down her book club which she used to make friends, and ended up forcing herself to gain weight if she wanted to keep their friendship. y’all i don’t even think anyone realizes how toxic the coven can be at times, the books spend a lot of time solidifying their frienship to the point that it ignores how awful it was at first. and not to mention dot is used to this treatment as she’s been physically and emotionally abused by her father, so as much as she dislikes their treatment of her, she still sees them as her friends and she will do anything to keep them.

i’m glad dot has learned to stand up for herself and gave it back to hester in tlea but god was her and anadil’s treatment of her sickiening.

professor dovey

i did not like her scene in the beginning of this book. she was awful to agatha and sophie and kept tossing blame for how the woods changed on them and yelling at agatha for not choosing tedros - um, she had a split second to decide and her friend literally died and came back to life a minute ago, how was she expected to leave her?

i dunno the way she berated them really got on my nerves because they’re just 15 year olds? they didn’t ask for their story to be told or for their personal relationships to affect the entire world? yes, if it had to be pointed towards anyone, it’s them, but instead of comforting them and trying to help them find a way to fix this, she goes all pointing fingers and straight up saying it would be easier if sophie was dead (not gonna lie i had a good giggle when i read this part but if you think about, that’s actually really sickening).

i’ll be honest, i love professor dovey as a character but she just seemed so cruel in book 2 i mean i get she was super frustrated but these children are confused and distraught enough already? she’s their teacher, she’s supposed to look after them but instead she just insulted them and stressed them out.

as for lady lesso, yes she did the same, but that was pretty in character for her. yes, it was wrong of her, but idk it’s something you would expect from her and she’s known to be the type to be tough on her students, while dovey is just not like that at all. and also, dovey was WAY more mean and short-tempered in this mean, i have to say.

evelyn sader

she was... an interesting villain. super cunning super devious i really admired her except for her doing all of this toxic feminism bullshit (which was honestly already bad enough!) for rafal,  A MAN. WHAT. how does that make ANY sense?

evelyn: #kam2020 make them boys your slaves we got this in the bag girls

also evelyn: omg rafal senpai notice me uwu i did all of this for you *gestures towards girls annihilating boys*

anyways her death was um... shocking. rip. or maybe not.

aric

do- do i have to go into this one? killing yara, torturing tedros, being misogynistic, honestly pick one, i just don’t have the energy to rip him apart for the thousandth time.

#the school for good and evil #school for good and evil #sge #schoolforgoodandevil #theschoolforgoodandevil #TWO WHOLE DAYS TO TYPE THIS BYE I AM TAKING A LONG LONG NAP #sorry if these were a bit harsh/too salty/made absolutely no sense i was gonna edit it but then i decided to Not because #idk my full unedited feelings are infinitely superior?