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dwobbitfromtheshire · 8 months

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Tw, I guess, for an accidental outing. It's kind of crack, and Robin has a dingus moment.

Steve makes a weird, awkward laugh whenever he sees someone he likes fully naked. Robin found it endearing when they were watching a movie together, and someone came on because it was also how she figured out he liked men. She didn't call him out on it, though, and let him come out to her on his own. She really didn't think about it when she talked to Eddie and he told her about their little incident.

"So, how is it living with Steve?" Robin asked as she sat in his living room with Eddie.

Eddie was still hated by the town, so until they calmed down, he was laying low at Steve's. Currently, they were waiting for Steve to finish making dinner. He was very particular about the kitchen and he didn't really let anyone help him cook. It was his space, but it was alright because his food was really good.

"I actually like it," Eddie grinned. "I mean, there was this awkward moment where he walked in on me naked, but we moved past that. I think."

"It's fine if you were a naked woman he liked, then he would have made this really awkward laugh," Robin said. "So I think you're good."

"Does it sound anything like this?" Eddie asked and proceeded to make the laugh. "Because he made that sound."

"Oh my god!" Robin exclaimed, looking horrified. "Tell me that I didn't just accidentally out Steve?"

"I'm afraid that you did," Eddie hissed mockingly, being helpful.

"You have to revoke my card!" Robin exclaimed and pulled a card out of her wallet, handing it over him.

"Hmm. You actually made yourself a queer card, and it's laminated. I didn't know you were an official lesbian. What's an unofficial lesbian?" Eddie asked.

"Yeah, I made one for Steve, too," Robin said, her face pale. "And an unofficial lesbian is a fictional lesbian. Duh."

"Duh. How silly of me," Eddie said, rolling his eyes. "Can you make one for me too? Except inside of blue and red, can you make it black and red? Also, instead of lesbian can you put bisexual?"

"Really?!" Robin exclaimed with a gasp. "That's great! And yes!"

"Here you go," Eddie said and tried handing it back to her.

"No! You have to keep it! I'm suspended from any queer activities for outing him. I mean, you can't take it away permanently because I'm always going to be queer but I can't watch any queer movies, can't read any novels, and I can't go to gay bars," Robin said.

"Well, damn I was hoping we would watch Rocky Horror tonight," Eddie said, snapping his fingers. "Shucks."

"Nooo!!" Robin yelled and threw herself on the floor.

Steve came into the living room and frowned at Robin.

"I came in to tell you that dinner is done. Why are you on the floor?" Steve asked. "Why does Eddie have your queer card?"

"I'm sorry, Steve," Robin said, sitting on her knees. "It was an accident."

"So you had Eddie revoke your card?" Steve asked.

"Yeah," Robin said.

"You realize you outed yourself by doing that?" Steve asked.

"Oh, damn. I did!" Robin exclaimed. "By the way, Eddie, I'm a lesbian."

"Yeah. I got that," Eddie laughed.

"Oh my God! I'm a dingus!" She yelled.

"Well, everyone has their dingus moments," Steve said. "Come on, I think we're even."

He pulled Robin up off the floor and into a hug.

"You don't hate me?" Robin sniffled.

"Your intention wasn't to out me or hurt me, so no, I don't hate you," Steve said. "Love you, babes."

"Love you too, babes," Robin said, sniffling again.

Steve put his arm around her and drew her into the kitchen. Eddie followed after with a grin.

"Oh, by the way, I'll out myself before there are any more accidents. I'm bisexual," Eddie grinned. "Robin's agreed to make me my very own card."

"Oh, thanks for telling me, man," Steve grinned and turned to Robin. "By the way, how did you accidentally out me?"

"Oh, don't you worry about that now, big boy, I'll tell you later," Eddie said with a smirk.

"Okay," Steve said, shrugging.

"Oh, so, Robin's not suspended then? Because now that I said it, I really want to watch Rocky Horror," Eddie said. "In fact, I have a Frankenfurter costume at the trailer. I might have worn it a few times."

Steve suddenly started laughing, a very awkward laugh.

"Oh my god!" Robin exclaimed.

"Look at that! It's not just when I'm naked!"

"What?!"

#stranger things #stranger things s4 #eddie munson #joseph quinn #eddie stranger things #steve harrington #eddie munson lives #steddie #steve x eddie #steve harrington x eddie munson #robin buckley #robin & steve #platonic soulmates #platonic stobin #platonic with a capital p #lesbian robin buckley #bisexual steve harrington #bisexual eddie munson

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desultory-novice · 1 year

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CW: Serious but vague talk about the complex feelings associated with the loss of a loved one and mourning - both in Kirby and in real life. Some personal stuff and once more for good measure mentions of death and mourning.

I know I don't owe anyone an excuse for my brief absence, but I was completely caught off guard this year when I realized the anniversary of Planet Robobot fell just days before the passing of my own father last year. No surprise I didn't make the connection last year, but it hit me this year and it hit hard.

I know that they're not the fandom's most popular characters ("most hated" may be more like it?) but I feel almost painfully close to the story of Susanna Patrya Haltmann and Max Profitt Haltmann. For I was also a child who was torn between being really mad at my father for his flaws and mistakes while also pining for this idealized parent-child relationship we didn't have, to the point of often spurning the bond we did have because it wasn't going the way I imagined it. I also had to watch close up as he wasted away, his senses going one by one, till he looked more and more like a fading shell of a person.

...You know, I didn't even finish playing PR until last year or maybe the year before? Of course I knew the story spoilers. But I couldn't make myself play it. I finally did because I felt I had to. And I'm glad, even if finishing it left me with a weird sense of sadness. A sense of sadness that finally came full circle a few months later...

I thought I would draw something for the anniversary this year. Something sad, bittersweet, poignant, meaningful. Something akin to a tribute. But my pen just wouldn't move. I don't think I have the words or the visuals to fully express what I felt about it right now. It's why, even though I really do like these two characters, I hardly ever draw them.

It's this closeness that renders them blurry in my vision.

...I suppose I might as well talk about this while I'm here, but I have this ask in my inbox about the Merry Magoland Branch AU. About Joronia and Max and what happens to them after their souls are freed.

'Do they come back to life?'

...God, I've written one thousand answers to that post in my head.

Part of my brain says the "right" answer to give - here on my Kirby blog where every story has a happy ending or at least a chance at salvation no matter how grim - is "of course they come back to life!" The Merry Magoland Branch AU is a sad but cutesy fractured fairy tale of a story where everyone ends up better than they started! Besides, they’re already souls. What else would happen to them? Just quietly go off to rest? That wouldn’t be satisfying!

...

But another part of me looks at "Kirby," a series that has characters who have "died" and come back to life and characters who have died and stayed dead and I feel like, as painful as it is to those such as the Sectaranza shippers and the other fans of of the implied dead cast members...

...they're not coming back. They can't come back. They shouldn't come back. Even in a completely fictional setting, even in a silly AU, it is hard for me, personally, to make myself change what has happened. What has been done.

Don't get me wrong, I've even scribbled out a few "everyone lives!" scenarios but I've never been able to draw a single one... I tell myself that if a miracle happens and one day I'm scouted to make a Kirby comic or animated series or movie, something where I get to retell the world from the beginning, I would not have it so the "dead" characters die, if only because they are unique enough that I would want them around to use for future stories. Like Moretsu Pupupu Hour, with its funny Sectonia who is literally allergic to peace. Or that one manga I haven't read where Susie and her father run some kind of puzzle store??

But again, that would be a Kirby I had control of from the beginning.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm proud of Kirby the series for not being so grimdark “realism” that Marx, upon blowing up, turns into meat pasta and instead comes back with a smile and laugh to kick exploding jester balls at people all because you waved a magic heart-shaped wand.

And I'm absolutely content with letting spunky wizard Magolor mercilessly fight his way back through some sort of purgatory dimension and start life over as a medieval salesperson, building up good karma one microtransaction at a time. I think that stuff is important. (Well, not so much the microstransactions.) But I'm also proud of it for letting some characters... not come back.

Dark Matter Blade is both a badass and strangely attractive (...just me?) for an eyeball made of dark matter but despite the fact that maybe all he wanted was friends, despite the fact that it's implied he rescued Gooey from Dark Matter and hid him on Popstar to protect him from Zero, despite the fact that he should have become a good guy and was instead used heartlessly by Zero like ammunition, losing the few marks of individuality he'd been able to keep thus far (his hair and armor and cape) he's just gone. He'll never join the others on Popstar. Never enjoy the warmth of a spring day or get to be a sibling to Gooey. He'll never even get to explain things to poor Gooey that they ought to know, and he was probably the only one who could.

It's tragic. It's upsetting. It's unfair.

And it's...important, much as I hate to say it.

Dess secret... but I actually get a little mad when people want Taranza to "...hurry up and find a new girlfriend and stop being in mourning all the time" because... I think it's okay for Kirby to have "a character who is in mourning." I suppose there's no real reason he can't be "character who was in mourning who was able to find love again" but I also kind of like that he's THERE as a character for anyone who has lost a loved one and is still sad about it. For those who haven't begun rebuilding their life just yet.

Gooey is the one who lost someone without every really knowing what he had/could have had. Susie is the one who lost someone and also has to get back to work because that's a real thing too.

I didn't really mean to talk about death and mourning in Kirby (for a second time) but I think part of me had to as well. At least if I was ever going to go back to regular posting. I don't even really feel as if I even captured everything there was to say. Like I said, I don't really have the words.

But, yeah, anyway, if you've ever seen me politely push back when someone brings up Susie or Max discourse of the negative variety on my blog, hopefully you have a slightly better understanding as to why I respond the way I do.

#Kirby #Susanna Patrya Haltmann #max profitt haltmann #sectaranza mention #Dess Text Post #Taranza #Gooey Kirby #Dark Matter Blade #cw death #cw personal #cw illness #I left Elfy and Fecty out of this because that was too much speculation #But you could see them as something similiar

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lincolndjarin · 6 months

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Best Kept Secret Q&A

contains spoilers for all of bks !!

thank you @znerac for asking these !!

Is there anything you would of written differently? Why, and what would you of done?

the short answer is yes lmao.

the long answer is also yes but with a bunch of explanation. writing bks chapter by chapter and posting as i go is great and also not great for several reasons. getting immediate feedback is always great, and it pushes me to keep writing but it also means that i can't change things once they're written.

if i could the main things i would change would be :

i would rewrite any and all reader descriptions. in the early days of bks it was just a silly story that i wrote for myself. that being said i did my best to write the reader as ambiguous but a lot of my self bled through. very specifically is the fact that i get very very red when i'm embarrassed. i don't know the exact line but there was at one point in dins internal monologue something along the lines of "you blush blah blah blah, he wonders how deep the crimson tint goes." so i would change all of that for sure

on a less serious not i would rewrite all of chapter seven LMAO. i was stressed about six being the first smut chapter and i convinced myself that there needed to be more dirty stuff since i'd already started with it. i am haunted by the chapter seven blowjob. it feels so out of place to me like it's not needed, it's gotta go, i hate it but can do nothing about it.

hypothetically, If a movie/Show director came up to you to make a producion based heavily on BKS, would you take the opportunity?

yes and i would do it lin manuel miranda style by insisting that i play the lead and then i would demand pedro pascal as my counter part (he'll def take it, im convinced that man will do any movie.)

what inspired you to write bks?

a lot of things!!

mostly music, all sorts of songs. when i started it i had also just finished queen charlotte. (if you havent watched queen charlotte and like bks i highly recommend it.) i would say that bks!reader was based on charlotte early on. (i'm also gonna use my favorite line from queen charlotte in the epilouge)

and i just love telling stories. i love making these worlds and the people in them and this was the first time i ever put it into words!!

how do you think writing and posting bks has affected you? Positively, Negatively? What do you think would of changed if you didn't write it?

definitely both but the negatives aren't bad, and the positives make up for it.

bks in it's conception was always intended to be a coping mechanism for me. at the time of it's start my best (and realistically, only) friend was getting ready to move away for college and i realized that he was the only person i ever spent time with and i needed a hobby. i tried a few things until one day writing stuck. the intention was to have something to keep me busy but i ended up really loving it.

there's never been any external negatives, it really is just that i can be hard on myself but at the end of the day it's been a huge point of growth for me.

@knopes-waffles thank you lovey for sending these !!

was there a particular reason that you chose blue as Kodo’s color?

terrible answer to a great question but uhhh no lmao

i just had to pick a color and this is what my fingers typed lol, i knew from the get go that din's favorite color would be green so i had to pick something that wasn't that.

thank you to the anon who sent these !! (i assume these were from the same person bc they came in and the same time!!)

will din and queenie have more babies? or just grogu and their son?

i suppose we'll have to see ;)

(although after bks 28 this is answered haha)

where will they raise the babies? in the cabin?

i think so !! i like to think that they live in the cabin, bks!reader became attached to naboo and bks!din will happily live wherever she is. i also like to think that they travel though. they leave naboo as often as they can, din likes to show his children the galaxy so when they're older they definitely invest in a ship

thank you anon !! luv you !!

what was your absolute favorite scene to write?

there's so many gahhh im gonna try and narrow it down to a top three:

#1 : Chapter 16 - their first kiss

this was a big deal to me, i worked for quite some time on that scene. i had several long conversations with friends about it because i wanted it to have the weight of a scene from bridgerton. i love love love bridgerton, it's my guilty pleasure, and i wanted that scene to make me feel the way bridgerton love confessions make me feel. i needed an "i burn for you" and i had a lot of different versions but i eventually settled on "I ache." because i wanted it to be something that hurt, i think that bks!din is complicated (i sound so pretentious rn im so sorry) in a self hating way that makes even the idea of being happy extremely painful to him and i wanted to get that point across

#2 : Chapter 23 - the markets

the markets in general were always so so fun to write but the lunar markets especially. getting to write them as a normal couple shopping for sex toys was so so so fun, i remember being so exhausted writing this chapter but i loved it so much i just had to finish it.

short story break but i was up until 2 am writing this chapter, it was halfway done and i was supposed to be up at 7 to drive my grandma six hours to visit my aunt for a week. i texted her at 2 and said i was going to bed and i'd see her in the morning, she texted back and said she couldnt sleep so we just got in the car and went. when we got to my aunts i finished the chapter and then passed out lmao, editing it took ages bc i kept falling asleep

#3 : Chapter 3 - reading the smitten paladin

the entire scene where she's trying to not think about din while reading her porn book is always gonna be an all timer for me

(bonus: the epilouge has been very special to me. getting to write a happy ending for these characters that i have put through so much has been extremely healing for me)

thank you @darthbeebles !! <3

Were there any scenes you wrote/wanted to write but had to cut for some reason? I’d love some deleted scenes if you have any <3

so so so many. i will cover most in the little what if thing later this week but the biggest one was a masquerade ball.

i so badly wanted a scene where she was dancing at the ball and there's a masked man who asks for a dance with dark hair and a mask that only covers his eyes and GAH im making myself angry just thinking about it because i just couldn't make it work

i tried it on so many levels, but at the end of the day the climax of the story didn't work if she knew what he looked like. the identity swap twist didn't work as smoothly and after several attempts to work it in i had to scrap it

thank you @raintheegg my beloved for sending this in!!!!

What is your favorite characteristic about bsk!din?

very easily his devotion.

it makes him easy to write bc he has one character goal and it to keep reader as safe and happy as he can manage. it also helped me add in the vague religious themes because he really is just that in love with her right from the start

hi anon !!! thank you for sending this in!!

You don’t have to draw it out if you don’t want, but I’d love to see your vision for inside their closet in BKS!!! It feels like such an important space that I want to understand it exactly how you meant to portray it — 1000 rounds of applause for your writing, it was an incredible journey you took us on 🥲🥲

thank you so so much <3

i wanted to build distinct set pieces in the world, the closet, the nook, the cabin, etc. and the closet was based on my own closet!! i used to sleep in there with all of my pillows and blankets, i have some pics, i don't have any good ones because it's been a few years but these are the ones i found!!

thank you my sweet anon!!

what was the hardest chapter to write?

very easily chapter 26.

i had a very specific vision for it that i'd been working on for months and i wanted it to go over well. the rule i use with plot twists is that it either needs to not be guessed before it happens or it needs to executed in a pleasing enough way that if you did guess it you don't care or you feel accomplished. i couldn't be more proud of how it turned out

thank you anon for the ask !

why is kodo’s fav color blue

i thought about this one again and i did remember that i needed it to be an eye color so it ended up being between grey and blue and i went with blue!!

thank you anon who is definitely not @torizle-blog1

why are you so sexy and hilarious and perfect and awesome

years of practice.

#lincolndjarin #fic : best kept secret

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bi-bard · 1 year

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Don't You Ever Tame Your Demons, But Always Keep 'em on a Leash - Dream of the Endless Imagine [The Sandman]

Title: Don't You Ever Tame Your Demons, But Always Keep 'em on a Leash

Pairing: Dream of the Endless X Reader

Based On: Arsonist's Lullabye

Word Count: 1,889 words

Warning(s): physical pain

Summary: (Y/n) has always been able to see and hear the dreams of other people. At first, they felt tortured by such a gift. However, when they catch the attention of the ruler of the dream realm, a new connection is made and relief is finally offered.

Author's Note: This one feels a bit like a stretch, but oh well.

HOZIER [2014] WRITING CHALLENGE MASTERLIST

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I remember when I first heard the whispers of a dream that was not my own.

Well, the first time after I was able to create lasting memories.

I was five. I was lying on the couch with my mom while we watched some silly movie that I never did remember the name of.

And then, the whisper. Quiet. It almost tickled my brain. I looked at my mom. She wasn't speaking, but I could hear the mumbling.

It was in another language. At my age, I couldn't even tell one word from another, never mind ever know how to place it. I looked to my mom again. I asked her why one of the women in the movie was talking so funny. She asked what I meant, I explained, and she was confused.

It took three occurrences of me asking why there were "funny voices" on the TV for my parents to sit down and talk.

I spent a few years going from doctor to doctor. Everything was fine. Well, that's what the doctors said. My parents weren't convinced.

I spent a lot of my childhood and teenage years in my room. I didn't like getting questioned. It was always about what I was doing or what I heard.

There was a while when I thought maybe I had a purpose.

Like I was meant to help people somehow. I gave up on that dream when I realized that I couldn't figure out who anyone was, so I couldn't help them.

I waited.

I spent forever coping and trying to hide from whatever was in my head.

There were days when I would barely hear anything. And there were days when the voices were so loud that I thought that I was going to lose my mind.

I was never able to stop it.

I stopped trying at about 20 years old.

I just... dealt with it. No purpose for it or way to stop it. All I could do was survive with it.

That didn't change until many years later.

I didn't fully understand where I was. I didn't know about the dream realm being its own plain of existence. But I found myself walking into some large throne room. It felt like I needed to be there. Like it was the right place for me to be.

"Hello?"

My voice echoed against the stone walls. I looked up at the ceiling. It was a moving image of space. Stars and swirling colors. Beautiful.

"Excuse me?"

I jumped when a voice pulled me out of my thoughts. There was a woman standing off to the side. I took a deep breath.

"Who are you," she asked.

"(Y/n)," I said. "And you?"

"Lucienne," she replied.

"Hi," I waved awkwardly. "Sorry, I don't... I don't really know where I am."

"You don't know?"

"No," I forced a chuckle. "I just... It felt like I was supposed to be here."

"I brought them here," another voice spoke up. We both looked to the stairs at the end of the room. "I apologize for how long it took for me to do so."

"That doesn't change that I don't know where I am or who you are."

A grin teased the edge of his lips as he walked down the stairs to meet me. "My name is Morpheus. I am the ruler of this realm."

"And this realm is..."

"The realm of the dreaming."

I laughed. I couldn't really help it. A man looked me in the eye and told me that I was in the realm of the dreaming, and he was in charge. It was hard to believe.

Both of them furrowed their eyebrows.

"I'm sorry, but... you weren't expecting me to believe that the first time you said it, were you?"

"I have yet to have many people question me."

I slowly nodded. "Well, why did you... bring me here?"

"Your power," he said. "You can hear the dreams of other people."

"I don't know what you're talking about," I tensed a bit. My parents had been firm in the belief that I shouldn't tell anyone about my gift.

"Is that so," he asked.

I didn't respond.

He stepped closer to me. I kept my eyes fixed on his. I refused to offer any indication of fear.

His hands moved up. He stopped them just next to my temples.

"May I?"

I furrowed my eyebrows.

"I believe it may help you."

I gave him a skeptical look before hesitantly nodding. What was it going to hurt?

His middle and index fingers touched my temples. My eyes closed for a moment as the voices in my mind slowly faded to silence.

I took a deep breath and opened my eyes again.

"What did you do," I asked.

"Offered a temporary solution," Morpheus explained. "They will return when you leave here."

I slowly nodded again. I was starting to believe what he had told me before.

"It must have been so loud," he continued.

"Sometimes," I shrugged. "I... I never thought I'd experience silence like this."

"I am sorry that I did not intervene sooner."

"Why... Why did you?"

"I want to help you control this gift on your own. It will allow you to find peace by yourself."

"You could do that?"

"I hope so."

I grinned at him. "Okay."

I spent the next few weeks in that very room.

It was strange to think about how I was spending my nights in some other world trying to use some power that had haunted me for so long. Not to mention that those nights were spent with the ruler of that other world.

I had lied to my mom about it. She had asked about if anyone had found out and I shook my head and said no. I hated nothing more than the guilt twisting in my chest, but I didn't know how to explain it without her thinking that it was a new symptom.

Regardless of my guilt or how strange the situation was, it was working.

It was getting better. I was able to spend time in beautiful silence without Morpheus's interference. The first day that it happened, I almost cried. I had never known peace like that.

I remember how tightly I hugged Morpheus when it happened. He chuckled as I did. It was a huge milestone.

I was hopeful. I was finally taking steps forward that I didn't think were possible. It was a miracle.

Maybe my hope was why it went wrong.

It was easier to believe that I was to blame. Because if I wasn't to blame, then who was? I would rather know who to target my resentment and anger at than accept that some things are entirely out of my control.

No. I could never accept that some other entity with no connection to me would ever torment me in the same way I was capable of tormenting myself.

I had been walking home from work. I had just gotten through my door. And then, it was like a tidal taking down the wall meant to keep it from flooding the town.

Like drums. Slowly building. Voices crept up on me, louder and louder. I tried to ignore it. I tried to control it. I couldn't. It was a choir of screaming people. Wants and needs and silly dreams all overtook every part of my mind.

I remember the pain in my head growing. A dull ache turned into pounding. It was overwhelming. The tears welled in my eyes as a sob tore through my throat. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know who to beg for help.

My vision started to blur. Black dots filled the space that tears didn't.

I stumbled to the couch, putting my hand out to find the cushion before my vision went entirely dark and I fell onto it.

I collapsed on the floor of the throne room as soon as my mind escaped the waking world. The hard stone made my knees ache, but my focus couldn't even acknowledge that feeling. I let out a sob as I tried to cover my ears. It didn't work.

"(Y/n)..."

I could barely hear Morpheus's voice over the growing chorus. My nails dug into my skin as I felt my head pounding.

Another sob escaped me. The walls of the throne room shook with my pained cries. Morpheus didn't pause at the disturbance to his realm.

He knelt in front of me.

"Please, make it stop," I begged. I wanted to shout over the voices, but nothing escaped me other than some broken whisper. "Please."

Morpheus's hands touched mine. He gently guided my hands away from my head. I was shaking so much.

"Please..."

"Shh," he spoke quietly. "I am going to help you. I promise."

Two fingers from either hand pressed against my temples.

The volume was going back and forth. Like he was fighting against another force. I just kept my eyes screwed shut and fought the urge to reach up and claw at his hands or my face or anything else.

And finally, it was over.

A heavy sigh of relief came out as my body seemingly went limp.

Morpheus's arms wrapped around me, holding me close to his chest as I cried.

"I am so sorry," he whispered. "I pushed you to test these gifts. I led you here. I am sorry."

I didn't reply. I was too focused on getting my breath to even out. I didn't think it was physically possible to be exhausted in the dream realm. But here I was, feeling like I was on the brink of losing consciousness.

I slowly pushed myself to sit up again. I looked at Morpheus. My heart almost broke clean in half at the look of guilt written on his face. I moved forward and hugged him properly. One of his hands cupped the back of my head as his other arm wrapped around me.

"I am going to keep you safe," he promised. "I will never leave you to cope with this power on your own. Not again."

I closed my eyes and hid my face in his shoulder.

"I am so sorry."

"I forgive you," I replied. "I never blamed you."

He leaned back slowly. I grinned at him. He grinned back at me.

He stood up, taking both of my hands to help me follow his lead. "I am going to find a place for you to be at peace."

"Are you going to stay with me," I asked as he led me out of the throne room.

"If you will let me."

I nodded. "I would be much happier if you stayed with me, Morpheus."

His smile only grew.

The rest of that evening was spent in some comfortable silence. I laid back in a field of grass, taking the first calm breaths I had taken in hours. Morpheus sat next to me on the grass.

He would look at me from time to time. There was a cautious look on his face. I would grin at him. I knew that he was scared that what he had done wasn't enough, so I didn't stop him from trying to watch over me.

And that may have been the most peaceful night I had ever experienced.

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#morpheus fanfiction #morpheus imagine #morpheus x reader #dream of the endless x reader #dream of the endless fanfiction #dream of the endless imagine #the sandman x reader #the sandman imagine #the sandman fanfiction #sandman imagine #sandman x reader #sandman fanfiction #dc imagine #dc fanfiction #dc x reader #imagine #fanfiction #x reader

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bucketofbugz · 10 months

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Okay I have breathed a little bit and I can now actually articulate my feelings about mutant mayhem.

There will be spoilers, and I will put a warning before them.

Okay so I REALLY, REALLY liked this movie I'm !!!!!!

The animation was AMAZING, I loved the story so much

I literally was "KJHFSKJDHF" internally throughout the entire movie. I could not Think for a while after I left the theater I was so excited that I actually got to watch the movie

Alright, onto the spoiler part of this

MUTANT MAYHEM SPOILERS BELOW THIS v

THEY ARE SUCH LOSERS OH MY GOD

I LOVED THEM SO MUCH

I freaking loved Raph this entire movie he's so silly he just wants to exist let the boy exist let the boy get therapy.

He wasn't that big in the movie but he was the best. I might be very biased I might be a tiny bit biased because he has always been my favorite character in every iteration, but he WAS the best in this movie I SWEAR!!

He loves his brothers so much, he loves punching people so much, and as much as I would love for him to fulfill his dreams of punching someone so hard they throw up, I think April threw up enough in this movie.

April was definitely my second favorite though because. Like. I love her. I love her design, I love her character, I just love HER. I very much feel for her being terrified to be in front of a camera because I would never want to even look at a camera after that. Could have gone without seeing her throw up 9 times ovER-- but THAT"sS JUST ME IG GUESS

After Raph and April it's hard to figure out what the list of my favorite characters looks like. Because I think I like Leo, Mikey, and Donnie equally. I can't see myself preferring one over the other, at least not yet. Maybe when the show comes out I'll form a better opinion on them, but I loved all three of them so much!!

I think I'll have to wait until the show to form opinions on the other mutants as well. Because as much as I loved all of them, there were so many that we didn't get to see them all that much. But I KNOW that I love Mondo and Leatherhead they're silly <33

Splinter was GREAT. I loved how he was such a DAD in this as opposed to a mentor figure. His realizing how much he sounded like Superfly during that scene was AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. Because liKE HE JUST WANTS THE BEST FOR HIS SONS. WAAA

"Donnie you should NOT be driving" THANK YOU Splinter, that's what I'VE BEEN SAYING

Uh. WOulda liked it a bit better if he hadn't made out with Scumbug on screen. But. That's,, that's just me... Good for you Splinter I hope you and your bug girlfriend are very happy?? I think?? Splinter needs to stop falling in love with bug women.

I've heard a lot of people say how towards the middle and moreso the end, the plot started feeling weird. Like a lot of the stuff that happened had no impact or it was weirdly paced. And yeah, I get that honestly. Maybe when I get the chance to watch it again (definitely not in theaters sobs) I'll get to pay more attention to the pacing and stuff but I was just too excited to be bothered about that this time around.

THEY GOT MILKED

I already knew this part though. So I wasn't surprised that it happened or anything. BUT STILL THEY MILKED THEM. THEY DRAINED LIKE A FULLY KIDDIE POOL SIZED AMOUNT OF BLOOD OUT OF MIKEY IS HE OKAY??? DID THEY DRAIN IT FROM THEIR CARAPACES? BECAUSE IT LOOKED LIKE IT.

That combined with the fact that their shells literally CRACKED later on in the movie??? Like HOW DID THEY WALK THAT OFF?? HOW ARE MIKEY AND RAPH WALKING AT ALL??

The fact that Raph was still the first one that offered to start singing BTS songs for Donnie despite the fact that he was currently being drained of blood by the.. the mega milker 3000.. is adorable. Brains and Brawn duo for the win guys we won in this movie they were great, The Brothers Ever.

The amount of times the turtles (especially Leo) stimmed during the movie is just!!!!!! I LOVE THAT. Autism.

Okay and now I gotta talk about the thing with Leo and April.

I love them. I love them a lot actually.

Leo's such a LOSER and yeah he has NO RIZZ. I was so scared about #1- Leo having a love interest (he doesn't have a great track record, let's be honest) #2- One of the turtles having a crush on April, but I think that they pulled it off very well! He was so stupid about it and I LOVE THAT FOR HIM. It's exactly what I was hoping for with their relationship. I really hope that it continues to be executed properly in the show and sequel and they don't butcher it. And I ESPECIALLY hope they don't have some love triangle thing with Casey again I swear I will have a breakdown (if Casey's still a teenager in MM and they let Raph and Casey have something I will forgive them for having Splinter and Scumbug make out I promise I promise I promise I just want them to be silly please please please please please please please please)

I'd already seen pictures of them without their masks before watching the movie because I stopped caring about spoilers but I still felt that surge of PANIC when Mikey's masked dropped down into the sewers like NO BACK UP PUT THAT BACK ON.

And like every iteration they DO look ugly and stupid without their masks on but honestly I think it works so much better for mutant mayhem than it does for a lot of other iterations. It's probably just the artstyle and how them looking ugly and stupid is half the point but I think they pull it off.

Leo works at best buy now. I don't care if it isn't canon. I will be believing that forever look at this idiot

I have so many more thoughts about Mutant Mayhem and I just wanna KEEP TALKING ABOUT IT but AAAAAAAAAA

#mutant mayhem #tmnt mutant mayhem #mutant mayhem spoilers #tmnt mutant mayhem spoilers #mm spoilers #tmnt mm spoilers #spoilers #spoiler warning #added as many tags as I could think of just to be safe #rambling #I LoVE THEM SO MUCH THEY'RE SO STUPID #They're absolute idiots and I love them #I can't wait for the show and sequel to explore their personalities more #ESPECIALLY NOW THAT THEY'RE IN HIGH SCHOOL #THIS IS LITERALLY PERFECT WE GET THIS WITHOUT HAVING TO HAVE A HUMAN AU #YIPPEE

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hyperfigations · 2 years

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ahem,, how about some first date hc’s with the counsellors?? you can chose which ones you’d like to include !!

AHHHH YES I LOVE! (Gender Neutral Reader)

These HCs will take place after that night.

So! Here's what I think first dates with some of the Hacketteers would be like! (Excluding Max and Laura because they are perfect together and I can't bring myself to separate them.)

Dylan:

-Dylan was never really hush hush about his crush on you. -In fact, he flirted with you at every possible moment. -You did not mind though. -The day came when you finally decided to ask him out. -AND BOY DID HIS TUNE CHANGE. -His face flushed, he was stumbling after every other syllable. -But eventually, he agreed to go out with you. -You had suggested a fun bowling night. -Dylan chuckled slightly and raised in non existing hand. -"We haha... I don't think that idea is very um..." -"OH SHIT! IM SO SORRY!" -You both agreed that a night in, watching shitty B movies and making fun of every little aspect of em. -HE WAS SO NERVOUS. -Blasé Dylan was no where to be seen. -He would try to make a joke but fumble over them. -"I-I'm sorry. I'm just like- a little nervous I guess? I mean after everything that we've gone through, I guess I didn't really think that we would ever... haha... do this? But here we are and it's great but god... Is it hot in here? Are you hot? I mean, of course you're hot but I mean hot hot. Not like hot. Because you're very hot and-" -Dylan would go on rambling rants about random things. -But when you gently took his hand, and laid your head on his shoulder, he realized he had no reason to be worried. -He finally relaxed, and slowly went back to being Dylan Dylan. Not rambling, nervous-wreck Dylan.

Jacob:

-Jacob always acted different around you. -Side glances and soft smiles. -Both of you having butterflies fluttering in your stomachs. -The boy was silly, but god, if he wasn't the sweetest thing. -Jacob was a hopeless romantic, and loved cliches. -He would pick you stray wild flowers, and try to find any reason to be near you. -"You're so cheesy, Jacob." -"Yeah, but I love cheese." -An idiot, but your idiot. -Jacob was a little afraid about asking you out. -Boy is a bit scared of rejection. -So, he didn't. -He didn't ask you out. -Instead he tried to be a little sneaky about it. -"Oh um, do you wanna grab lunch with me?" -You had agreed. You and him have had lunch together before so you didn't think twice about it. -It wasn't until Jacob and you were standing in a cute little park, a soft blanket covering the green grass and all the snacks imaginable. -You finally realized that this wasn't like your guys' usual hangouts. -"Um, Jake?" -"uh... yeah (Y/N)?" -"This is a date, isn't it?" -"Wwwhhaaaat, no- Okay, yeah. It is."

Kaitlyn:

-Kaitlyn isn't someone to beat around the bush. -She knows exactly what she wants and she's not gonna play games. -Kaitlyn teases you but in a very loving away. -You know she doesn't mean any harm. -Kaitlyn also LOVES showing off to you. She thinks the more she shows you how capable she is, the more you would reciprocate her feelings. -She asks you straight and direct. -"So, you wanna go that axe throwing place this Friday?" -"NOO! I'm gonna be so terrible at that, Kaitlyn!" -"Commmmee on (Y/N), most bullseyes has to buy dinner?" -You both didn't specify but you guys knew it was a date. -You were right by the way. You sucked in comparison to Kaitlyn. -Every single time it was her turn to throw, it was a bullseye. -bullseye... -bullseye. -And another bullseye. -"Kaitlyn, I already lost. At this point you're just rubbing salt in an open wound." -You were pouting. -Kaitlyn giggled lightly, and grabbed your hand. "You have the potential, (Y/N). You just need the guidance." -Your heart skipped a beat as she was teaching you how to throw the axe from behind. -She was guiding your every move. -Finally, she let you try on your own. -BOOM! BULLSEYE! -You excitedly jumped up and down, doing a dorky little celebration dance. -"You're a dork," Kaitlyn laughed at you.

#the quarry #the quarry x reader #dylan leviny #hacketteers #kaitlyn ka #jacob custos #the quarry jacob #the quarry kaitlyn #the quarry dylan #the quarry headcanons #first dates #the quarry hcs #horror #fluff #romance #my top 3 quarry characters #I love them so much #i adore them

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coolishfoolishness · 8 months

Text

Here is a sequel to my silly little gay story, because I like gay people. Criticism welcome. Also please read the first part if you haven't already.

Love is a Battlefield

Part 2

Eventually, despite my desire for this to last forever, we both pull away. I curl my lips into what I hoped formed a smile because I'm not sure I remember how to. Even in life, I didn't smile much. Suddenly, loud music starts playing. And It isn't coming from the speakers. The boy quickly pulls away from me and digs through his pockets. "Shit, sorry," he says, "That's my alarm. I have to start heading home or my mom will worry." He pulls out his rectangular device and presses on the screen. The music stops. He hugs me and gives me a quick kiss on the cheek, "I'll be back tomorrow, ok? I can come earlier next time because it's a Saturday."

"Ok," I say. It's getting slightly easier to talk, but it's still strange to hear my voice coming the speakers and not my mouth. "I'll see you… then."

I go to the bathroom to practice my smile in the mirror. I realize now that this is the first time I've looked in a mirror in years. My skin, my hair, even my clothes, were all some shade of gray. Like I was in some old movie. My eyes looked like cue balls in a game of pool. No irises or pupils. Just completely blank. I really do look like a monster. It's a wonder how he wasn't scared of me. Or how he even recognized me. I try to use some of the non expired makeup left to make myself look more alive, but I quickly realize that it would take far too many layers to get anywhere even close to acceptable. I suppose it doesn't matter anyway. I hope not. I guess I'm lucky that I don't look like an actual corpse. Or that I even have a corporeal form. I suppose that "ghost" is not the right word to describe me.

I'm honestly starting to panic. Was he really not scared, or was he just putting on a brave face. Is he really interested in me or was he just being nice? God, I hope that wasn't his first kiss. It was mine. Or at least, my first one with another boy. How would our relationship even work? It's one thing to date another boy, but to date something like me? That's assuming that he actually likes me back. I suppose I won't know until tomorrow.

I hate this feeling. It feels so new, yet so familiar at the same time. For years I've been able to get by on apathy. But now, this frustrating, beautiful boy, has made that apathy impossible. Suddenly I care. Suddenly I feel like I deserve love. That's what he told me. For years I have been able to suppress my desires. But now I feel as though those desires are allowed to be expressed. I really do want him. I want to love him and for him to love me back. I want to have all the experience I missed out on because I was too busy suffering. For better, or for worse, I will suffer no more. Now it's time to practice smiling. Because hopefully I'll be doing so more often.

I wish I could just sleep the night away and skip all my worries, but I am simply unable to do that. Instead here I am watching the sun rise after a whole night of waiting. And even then I'll have to wait a little longer before he comes. I want to see him again. I want to see his beautiful face again. I want to hug him and kiss him again. When did I start wanting so much?

Oh. There he is. I didn't think he'd be here this early. "Hey," he calls, "are you there?" Before I can answer, I notice a figure creeping up from behind him. Did he bring someone with him? He would have told me, right? This new guy slumps his arm across the boy's shoulders. His reaction of shock indicates that this guest is uninvited. "Hey Judy," he says with a level of familiarity that honestly pisses me off. I wonder if this is what jealousy feels like. "I know you've been obsessed with this gay ghost thing for awhile, but is it really a good idea to go looking for trouble like this? I'm don't believe in ghosts, but, I mean, the rumors say it's dangerous. At least I was a safer obsession." Now he's starting to really piss me off.

"Fuck off! I was never obsessed with you! You're obsessed with me!" Judy retorted. He tried to pull away, but he was practically in a chokehold. I have to intervene.

"Get… out!" I barely whispered out, hoping to scare him away.

"What the fuck," he said, not as freaked out as I would like. "Is this some kinda prank? Did you put one of your friends up to this?"

"No! Why the hell would I try to prank you when I didn't even know you'd be here? My world doesn't revolve around you!"

Clearly words are not enough in this situation. I slither my wires up to Judy until one touches his ankles. He pulls his foot back a bit in surprise, but seems to quickly realize my plan. He put his foot back down, and I gently wrap my wires around his waist. I some of my other wires to wrench the bully's arm off him and I pull Judy away.

"Judy!" The bully yells with a voice of concern. He seems genuinely worried now. I've had enough of this asshole.

"I said… get… out!" I shout.

"Let him go!" He shouts back, lunging after Judy as I pull him back.

"Why… should I? You… wouldn't," I retort. "I'm… not… going to… hurt him. The same… can't be… said… for you. Leave."

The bully looks at Judy, who sticks his tongue out at him. "Fine!" He scurries away.

"Judy, was it?" I ask, "Sorry… I forgot… to ask yesterday. Are you… ok?"

He responds, "My name is actually Jude. That's just a nickname he uses for me. And I'm fine, thank you."

"Who… was that… by the way?" I ask.

"My ex," he replies, "Can you let me go?"

"Yes, sorry," I say. I put him down and turn on the escalator, "Meet me at the food court."

He ran up the steps even though he could easily just wait for the escalator to bring him up. While looking at him through the cameras is fine, he's so much more beautiful live and in color.

"It's nice to… see you… again," I say. I decide against smiling, since practice last night was unsuccessful. "I missed you," I continue, hoping not to sound too clingy.

"It's nice to see you too," he says, tucking his hair behind his ear, "I'm sorry about him. I don't know why he won't leave me alone after we broke up."

"Do you want… to talk… about it?" I ask him.

"Yeah, that would be nice actually," he starts, "I guess calling him my ex isn't exactly accurate because I don't think he ever took our relationship seriously. He just kinda walked up to me one day and asked me out. He said he was questioning, he wanted to experiment with his sexuality. I guess that should have been a red flag, but I was also new to being gay and I was just excited to date a hot guy. He wanted to keep our relationship secret, which I was fine with. Not everyone feels safe to be out. I grew to genuinely love him, and I thought it was the same for him. But one day rumors started spreading about us, and instead of just denying them or something like that, he threw me under the bus. He claimed that I started the rumors, and maybe he did genuinely think I let something slip. But that doesn't give him the right to do what he did. He called me a…" he started choking up, unable to finish the sentence. He didn't need to though. I know all too well what he's referring to.

I hug him and try to reassure him, "That's awful. You… deserve better."

"But… it feels so small… compared to what you went through," he sobs.

"Problems don't have size. If it hurts it hurts," I whisper, "Right now, my biggest worry is treating you right. I want you to know that you're not just some guinea pig to me. You are loved."

"Thank you," he says, and he gives me a kiss, "Can we move on to something fun now?"

"Yeah. I'd like that."

#writing #writers on tumblr #writeblr #tw homophobia #tw bullying #tw implied slur #queer #gay #lgbt #lgbtq #lgbtqia

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sensitive-charmy · 2 years

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I really want to share my experience with KH and how I got into it since I know everyone’s stories are so unique. KH is the one and only passion I’ve had that carried from my childhood well into my adulthood. There are things I liked as a kid that I still like now. But nothing touched me to the degree that KH has. And it’s amazing to me just how long it has stuck with me. It’s amazing to me that I still think about it literally every day of my life. So here’s my very long, unnecessary, personal story.

I had just started middle school and became very close with my new friend (we’ll call her Jessica for the sake of privacy). Jessica lived right up the street from me, and we would go over to each other’s houses every single day after school and play video games. I wasn’t much of a gamer myself. I always had video games growing up, but I was never really good at them and didn’t take it too seriously. Jessica had a burning passion for video games, though. And that’s just how we bonded.

Jessica had Sora’s crown necklace. And one day, I asked her what it was. And I guess she had the realization that we play video games together every day, and somehow, I didn’t know about Kingdom Hearts. She demanded I go over to her house and play because “it’s a Disney game,” and I was “sure to love it.” Once Friday hit, I went to her mom’s house and started playing. I had very little experience with Japanese culture or anime. I was never allowed to watch or play Pokémon, Yu-Gi-Oh, Dragon Ball, Naruto or anything of the sort. I had a very toxic impression that anime was “bad” and therefore, I was highly disgusted by Japanese animation. When Simple and Clean started playing and I had to sit through that trippy opening sequence, I was very turned off towards KH. I thought this was gonna be about Disney movies? I thought this was about Disney princesses? Not anime boys. I voiced my discontentment, and Jessica’s mom said to me, “Just play until you meet Donald and Goofy. That’s when the game actually starts.”

I don’t know if it was the combination of both Jessica and her mom forcing me to play or if I genuinely enjoyed playing it or if I just felt pressured to say I liked it. I don’t remember exactly what I was feeling after having met and Donald and Goofy. But apparently, I told my dad about it, and he immediately bought both KH1 and KH2 for me.

I remember really struggling to beat Riku in the race and thinking I had to win. It was very difficult for eleven-year-old me who was (and still is) very bad at video games. It took me about two years to finish KH1 simply because I milked it for all it was worth and really took my time exploring every single inch of every world. I loved that game. And it holds a very, very special place in my heart considering it was the first video game I ever completed by myself. In the time that it took for me to beat KH1, Jessica moved out of the city and we lost touch. I never got the chance to tell her just how much Kingdom Hearts meant to me. We barely had the chance to bond over it at all since I fell in love with it in slow motion. But I still think about her every now and then, think about how much this silly little game still means to me, and I wonder if she still loves it too.

It took me about a year to finish KH2 for the same reason. I played and played and played those games like I’ve never played a video game before or since. Neither one of my sisters played Kingdom Hearts. And none of my friends did either. I had absolutely no one to talk to about it, which is really why I remained oblivious to any “spin-offs” that had been or were currently being made. I grew up in a very sheltered home where YouTube and the internet was not allowed to be explored (not to mention that YouTube barely had much footing at the time).

I had made my own binder cover with images from KH and paraded it around school proudly, waiting for the moment that someone would recognize it and strike up conversation with me. It finally happened one day around 2012 when someone said, “Have you played Birth By Sleep?” I said, “No…?” because I had never heard of that. And they said, “Oh, that sucks. I guess you’ll never know who Roxas really is.” (Because people were theorizing that Roxas was Ven’s Nobody at the time.) Of course, I freaked out, and decided to look up this stuff on my own. I found that Chain of Memories, 358/2 Days, and Birth By Sleep had all been released and that I had no clue what their stories were about at all. Panic set in as I realized they were all on different consoles. Even though I already had a GBA, a DS, and a PS3, my silly child brain thought it was completely illogical to ask for video games. I never brought it up with my parents. And I basically forced myself to suffer. I thought, “I have to know these stories. But I can’t play these games. I’ll have to just watch cutscenes and read Wikipedia articles.” And that’s exactly what I did, lol. I braved the world of YouTube and looked up KH cutscenes and consumed the games in that fashion, especially since Let’s Plays were still a very new and foreign concept. (And people who did Let’s Plays were typically very vulgar and inappropriate, and I was a good child, lol.) The exact same thing happened when Dream Drop Distance was released. I remember walking around Best Buy with my dad and seeing the poster. He said to me, “Do you want that game?” And I didn’t want to be a burden. I didn’t want my dad to have to spend $60 on a video game plus however much the 3DS was. And I knew I wouldn’t play any other games on the 3DS except DDD. So I said, “No, it’s just a spin-off. It doesn’t matter to the story. And 3D makes me sick.” So he didn’t buy it for me. And I forced myself to suffer in the same way, watching cutscenes on YouTube and silently wishing I could’ve just played it myself.

In 2013, the only thing that mattered to me was the official announcement of KH3. Honestly, that announcement rang so loud it my ears, it drowned everything else. I somehow managed to miss the fact that 1.5 was released even though its trailer was coupled with the KH3 announcement. I literally didn’t even realize 1.5 was a thing until the end of 2013. And I had this incredibly dumb thought that it was gonna cost hundreds of dollars because it was “three gaming experiences in one package.” Stupid dumb little Lea who had no idea how to navigate the internet or any information. I still had this idea that the KH “spin-offs” were unavailable to me due to money (even though I already had a PS3. Seriously. Stupid dumb little Lea.) So once I learned about 1.5, I decided the best way to consume it was once again through YouTube.

Enter: SkywardWing

I found his Road to Kingdom Hearts III series and watched the hell out of it. Every morning before school while eating breakfast, I’d watch the most recent episode he uploaded. Finally, I got to see what Re:Chain of Memories gameplay looked like. Finally, I got to the heart of 358/2 Days. Finally, I was able to live vicariously through Sky. Finally, I had someone else to “interact with” about KH. Even though I am a very passive lurker and rarely comment on videos or interact in large ways on the internet, I felt like Sky was a friend. I’d readily consume every single theory or fun video he’d make leading up to KH3. And of course I watched the other Key Keepers as well, but none hit as close to home as SkywardWing. Without him, I genuinely wonder if my love for Kingdom Hearts would’ve eventually tapered off. Waiting for KH3 was such a long process, I wonder if I would’ve eventually lost the love and passion if I didn’t see his videos on my feed every day.

In April of 2014, I was having a very bad week. It’s a long story and not worth telling here, but the tipping point was when my friend was trying to help me out and asked if I wanted to go to a drive-in theater with her and her family to see the new Captain America movie. Captain America is my favorite superhero, and I always wanted to go to a drive-in, but this week in particular, my mom had an iron grip on me and told me I couldn’t go. I genuinely don’t think I’ve ever been so mad at her, especially considering I was plenty old enough to make my own decisions. My dad must’ve felt really bad for me because he went out and bought 1.5 for me completely unprompted.

When 2.5 released later that year, I didn’t have to ask my dad for it. He knew how much I loved 1.5. Of course, KH2 got put on the back burner. I played BBS first. Do you know how long I had been waiting for the opportunity to play that game myself? Aqua, Terra, and Ven felt like old friends who I hadn’t seen in years. That’s still one of the most magical memories in my life.

Some time passed, and my sister’s husband introduced me to his friend who really loved Kingdom Hearts, and he became my boyfriend. Kingdom Hearts was the glue that kept the two of us together. The relationship was not healthy, but I really clung to the fact that he liked Kingdom Hearts. I didn’t have any friends who played these games. I didn’t know anyone who cared anywhere near as much as I did. It was so important to me that my boyfriend played them and enjoyed them as much as me. I didn’t wanna let that go, so I held on much longer than I should’ve. We were dating when 2.8 came out, so he came over to my house and played with me because we were both incredibly excited. My boyfriend and I broke up shortly after (thank goodness). And cue more impatient waiting for KH3.

By 2019, I was dating a different boy. He had never played KH a day in his life, but he respected that it meant so much to me. He came over on release day and happily watched me play KH3 for hours. I’d give him the controller during the mech segments in Toy Box because he loved first person shooters. That day will forever be etched in my heart. That was the day I had been waiting for for so long. I don’t think I’ll ever forget it and all its emotions.

I look back and find it silly that I was dating one boy when 2.8 came out and then a different boy when KH3 came out and now I’m not involved with anyone. I sometimes wonder if I’ll be with someone else whenever KH4 finally releases and I laugh to myself. I can count on one hand the amount of people I’ve personally met who have played these games. And none of them had long-lasting impacts on my life except for Jessica and my initial introduction to the series. I am once again at a point where I don’t have anyone in my personal life to talk to about it. But making this blog and reading y’all’s posts has been monumental. I love hearing what everyone has to say, everyone’s experiences and opinions. This silly little video game means so much to me. And I’m glad to know I’m not the only one who feels this way.

#doubt this will get any notes but here’s some personal info about my life and kh experience #maybe I’ll make a follow up to this post because I really didn’t even say half of what I wanted to #no joke y’all this silly video game changed my life #kingdom hearts #kh #long post #personal story #personal

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powdya · 11 months

Text

Thirty Seconds to Mars

What thoughts come to your mind during numbness? In situations when your consciousness is completely paralyzed and you have no strength to move forward? Hey, ask for help! But what if "help" doesn't come or makes things even worse? The mood outside suggests that this is what you've been waiting for... rain. I don't know why, but over the years, I've started to appreciate more rainy weather, even though I always thought that heat was cool. But, haha, it's cool in winter when you're cold and trying to warm up with a cat's fur, dreaming of warmer days. But when it gets warm and sweat slowly trickles down your skin while you diligently scroll through the internet, you realize that you start to appreciate ordinary things only when they're absent.

Living a deferred life? Have you tried it? I've been trying for 2... no, three years. Or is it actually two? I don't remember anymore. I don't even remember the recent events of the past six months. Everything has blurred and merged into a single day. Seriously, try delving into your thoughts and tracing them from January 1st to today, trying to recall each day in detail... well, at least the general idea of each day. Did it work? Yesterday, my mom asked me something while I was listening to music, and I didn't immediately realize she was talking to me. But when I took off my headphones, she asked again... hmm, I was trying to remember now, but apparently, I was on autopilot at that moment. After I spoke, she asked why I don't talk to her, but what surprised me was that I hardly ever talk to her because of our shared past and the lack of conversation topics, yet she constantly tries to engage me by asking silly and inappropriate questions, the answers to which are so obvious that my eyes automatically roll when I carry a plate to the kitchen and hear a question from behind:

Where are you going? To the kitchen?

No, I'm flying to Mars on a carpet plane with my imaginary friends - Lori and Barry, and this plate is the steering wheel of my spaceship, - I think to myself at that moment.

Seriously, what kind of answer does she expect when she asks such questions hundreds of times a day?

Right now, I'm lying on the bed with music in my ears, waiting for a letter from someone, but it's not here yet. Yes, I understand that it will come a little later, as she needs time to write a reply and send it to me, but apparently, I miss human interaction so much, I want to read the response again and share thoughts once more that I open the app every 30 minutes and refresh the page in hopes of seeing a notification. It seems like I'm turning into that creepy guy with a mustache who watches you through binoculars from his rusty van while you prepare chocolate balls with milk.

In general, I need to spend less time wearing headphones as it negatively affects my well-being. Since 8th grade, I've had trouble sleeping well until I turned 16 due to early nightmares that affected my consciousness. It was all because of horror movies that my father loved to watch. He would play them at night, and out of curiosity, I would join in. I still don't know why he thought it was a good idea to let a young child watch "The Ring" - a terribly good idea. Nevertheless, that girl from the well became my ultimate nightmare, and after watching that movie, I couldn't fall asleep, would fall off the bed, and a few weeks later, I experienced a visual hallucination.

I "saw" a scary ghost in the window, even though it was on the 5th floor, and I'm still not sure if I saw anything specific because I quickly covered my head with a blanket and trembled for 40 minutes until I could fall asleep. That's how I slept until I turned 16, covering my head with the blanket. Haha, try sleeping completely covered under a blanket; there's so little air, and it's hard to breathe. Otherwise, I couldn't sleep; my heart would start racing immediately when I looked out the window. Now I'm glad that has changed, but this story made me sleep with background noise. I chose headphones and started sleeping with them, and I still do. I simply can't fall asleep quickly in silence. This led me to develop tinnitus - ringing in the ears.

I knew that this behavior could harm my hearing, but I continued wearing headphones anyway. A few days ago, the ringing intensified in my left ear for one day. It was a strange sensation. You know that muffled sound sensation when you accidentally pour water into your ear while washing your hair. That's what it felt like. Seems like it's worth dealing with, right? Now I'm the hero of my favorite movie, "Baby Driver."

I should see a doctor about it, but in my country, they are simply awful. They don't care, literally. I witnessed this brutal attitude myself when I went to a private clinic three years ago because of bleeding from my ears. The doctor checked my ears in a matter of seconds, said everything was fine, and prescribed me drops, but when I mentioned, "Hey, hello, I'm repeating it for the third time, I have this ringing in my ears. Tinnitus. Can you help me with it?" - she ignored me. Seriously, I repeated it several times. Did she not care? Of course, these people couldn't care less about each other.

#true story #future #menta health #childhood #i dont know

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hauntinglyhumorous · 2 years

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Week 11 Reflection + Studio

To be completely honest I didn’t pay attention to this week’s lesson due to me being out of town. My partner came back from France for a week and I tried to enjoy every possible second that I could with him since I won’t be seeing him again until after Christmas. I guess I’ll just kind of talk about the general reflections I did this week about my practice. Sorry Neil.

Starting off, I realized how much I missed my partner. As cheesy as it is, he’s my best friend and one of my biggest inspirations when I paint. In undergrad he would come to the studio with me at night while I worked and we would watch movies and order take out. Painting alone has always been my solace, but there’s something very comforting working when someone else is present. I find myself being able to work better when I know someone else is in the annex with me. We might not talk, but just knowing someone else is there makes me want to stay more focused. Weird.

Spending time with my partner was the best. I was able to completely recharge and get a break. Grad school is going by very quickly which is nice, but at the same time I feel as if I don’t have enough time to process everything. I am making work, but it feels as if I have nothing to show. Only a couple of paintings exist at this point from this year, which I guess is a lot in retrospect, but it feels like I should’ve had more. I think the body of work that I have is very strong though. I think.

This week was also a big deal because I made my first sale to a non relative/friend/art connection. It was my very first BFA piece I had made for my thesis show. I was just explaining to the guy how important this silly clown painting is to me and how it brought me humor during a really depressing time (COVID-19 times). Then the guy was asking me how much money for it. I was shocked. I always had this piece for sale, but I guess I never thought that it would sell. It’s just a clown on a white background. When I think about it though, this painting was what got me into this graduate program. Had I not been in the studio with my best friend watching a new stupid Halloween Adam Sandler movie, I might not have decided to paint this dumb thing. But then I began to paint this simple figure and realized how much I loved to paint the folds of clothes and how I could use such vibrant in your face colors and it be completely okay. And now I am in a graduate program doing improved versions of that every week. Fucking insane.

I really did reflect this week. I promise.

#Hauntology writing

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high-lowlights · 2 years

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July 4th, 2022 10:07 PM

I’m trying to exist on my own. For myself. It’s hard and weird and I think people think I’m selfish. Maybe they’re right. Maybe I am selfish. But what’s so wrong with that? I don’t think I’m actively hurting anyone. I don’t feel like being cheery, bubbly Jordan. She’s still there, trust me. She comes in waves. Like at 3 in the morning when everyone else is asleep. She’s there. Just not as… prominent. I don’t want to say the heartbreak is the cause of that. I wanna think that maybe I’m just maturing. I also recently realized that I still take myself too seriously sometimes. Child abuse/trauma aside, I have been working on that forever… or so I thought. I guess at some point I stopped improving. I don’t know when that was though. I’m trying to get out of my head. It’s a dangerous, scary place. The thoughts I have sometimes scare me. Because if something isn’t going my way, I think of the “only way out”. So yeah. It’s not healthy. I’ve been thinking about going to therapy a lot. But it’s not within my means right now. I’m about to move and that’s going to be expensive enough. But is my mind rotting away with all of this going to make me regret that decision later… maybe. I’m become super self aware lately. I’m becoming aware of all of my flaws. Some good things about myself, too. But mostly the flaws. It’s good to reflect but becoming this self aware comes with its issues. Like feeling like I am unworthy of loving someone in my current state. I’ve been struggling with that quite a bit. Like am I ready to love another man? Am I capable of tweaking here and there when need be? Can I learn to set my ego aside and stop feeling threatened all the time? I’m more scared of hurting someone than getting hurt myself. I sincerely mean that. I hate hurting people. I keep beating myself up about the breakup. “I shouldn’t have worded it like that.” “I should have texted first.” “I should have just told him forgetting my birthday was hurtful.” I should have just swallowed it and kept it pushing.” Should have… should have… should have… I hate that. I hate this too. Being heartbroken is terrible. My mind is going here and there. Everything reminds me of him. Yesterday my sister was talking about the lion king live-action movie and I remembered that he had been snapchatting me while my family and I were watching it. It was a few hours before he sent THE text. The “can we make this work?” text. I miss that time of my life. I don’t wanna go back. But I do miss it. I keep asking myself if I knew this was our fate would I have texted back… the answer changes every half hour just about. Yes. No. Possibly? I’ve been refraining from texting him out of respect but my self control is dwindling. I miss him being in my life. I miss loving him actively. I still pray for him and his family. I don’t even know why. Well I guess because I love him of course. Even if he is busy loving someone else. Here are some questions that keep swirling around in my little silly mind: Does he love her the way he loved me (well how much)? Does he ever accidentally call her my name? Why did he choose her? Is he with her right this very second? Could we ever work in the future? Have they already discussed getting married? Has he introduced her to his family? Does he think of me still? Is he telling himself that he never “actually” loved me? Why was it so easy for him to move on? These questions all hurt. As I’ve said a million times: I’m at a loss. School starts in a little over a month. I’m super nervous. Academia twitter is freaking me the freak out. I have a lot of questions and most of them will be unanswered until I’m actually there doing the thing. I want to make myself proud. I want to accomplish a lot. I want to learn to advocate for myself. I really need to update my vision board. There’s a lot of new goals I have. I need the visual representation. I think it really helps. I’ve been moody recently. I feel terrible but I don’t know how to actively describe what I am feeling. Every little thing is sending me over the edge.

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muffindaddystyles · 3 years

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Soft dom harry makes subby reader upset subspace?

MEANIE ANGRY H :D BUCKLE UP FELLAS

Y/N's day is been shitty so far. It started with an ache in her lower abdomen from Harry’s morning stiffy bulging against her asscheeks fattening everytime he snuggled into her to hoard her warmth and blankies and to stuff his face in her neck with incoherent blabbering.

She wanted to wake him up with her hand, mouth, hole— anything around his cock and to please him and dull the burny feeling in her tummy -- but -- she had an important workshop at UNI that was must needed to be attended.

The time she managed to knock herself out of her needy and lusty headspace, she was getting late and whirling around the room and closest like a thunderstorm -- burying a snoring Harry under the heaps of clothes and littering the floor with her shoes collection, the kitchen got treated much more worst with maids being not around (she’s used to Harry waking up earlier than her and making her a full course brekkie) after making a laughable ruckus of cabinets all she stuffed her mouth with was a chocolate protein bar.

The stars were still not in her favour. She was grabbing onto her hair until far when she missed the bus (she usually don’t take buses, Harry makes sure the driver drop her off safe and secure) and it started raining leaving Y/N with nothing but a bare head to take all of it as she already left the bus shelter to stop a taxi.

If all of that wasn’t much of a tragedy and humiliating, Y/N slipped the moment she stepped out of the vehicle and on the slippery curbs of the building, she saw her life flashing right infront of her eyes as the papers tucked in her armpit fled everywhere and landed on the rainy mud sadistically along her. It gave her a serious hit in her ankle and completely yanked her hip, still being a stubborn-head she picked herself and went inside despite how many glares the cleaning staff threw her way for bringing the dirt with her feed all over the shiny floors.

She felt bad.

Stupidly bad.

Her workshop teachers were kind enough to accept her late arrival, but her designs for fall got rejected and they’d have been a huge milestone for her to get her dream internship.

Y/N felt awfully, teeny, pathetic and little while slumping into the corner of the bus and holding her breath to refrain from crying these little liquidy bitches out of her eyes.

Reaching back home she was met with pure chaos, bumping into petrified and agitated employs from Harry’s company scurrying out of their main foyer and she could persist but to ask what happened only to be informed in stammers that the staff messed up big and caused a loss of million dollars— making Harry terribly mad and fire people left and right.

It wasn’t a joke at all.

Because once, she steps inside, bag falling from her shoulder as she sighs in exhaustion feeling her muscles stiffening everywhere but one particular spot's hurting wrenchingly— her foggy mind couldn’t figure it out yet. She peeks into Harry’s home office to be met by a very annoyed, aggrieved, furious Harry pacing in his office all whilst with a phone against his ear shouting at someone who was destined to be humiliated today just like her and she pouts gingerly seeing his features skewered tightly into displeasure, the vein that curves along his temple prominent with blood pumping erratically in his body.

His head snaps up at the door’s creak and albeit his eyes softens a little, the kink of brows and the scowl on his lips is still there and he watches her paddle towards him carefully knowing anything at the moment would burst his chimneys out and she wants to be good for her daddy.

“Hi.” She speaks timidly, pout getting more rusty when the greetings not returned and instead he keeps all of his attention on the phone keeping a loose arm around her.

She grumbles, when he gestures down at her to give him a sec and untangles himself from her walking away and huffing and puffing into the phone.

How could he!

She feels so denied and rejected and kicked like it’s done to those affection starved lil puppies.

Her clingy tendencies flying high drunk and wooly. The needy beastie inside her wanting nothing more than take a bath where Harry could cream her back in her favourite berry bubbles, massaging her head and whisper sweet nothings into her ear, then lots and lots of cuddles, maybe he'll be generous enough and let her keep him snug inside her while they watch movie because she had such an awful day.

But, No! He's trying to escape free from her because she’s such a burden for him now.

Her eyes turns glassy, her shoulders slumping sadly and out of nowhere she’s feeling cold and barren as Harry’s voice becomes a wafting fume for her— an indication she has gone under too much.

“Daddy . . .” She stomps behind him, circling his footsteps like a whiny puppy and grapples at his dress shirt gasping sullenly when he swats her dainty hands away and glares down at her in dominance, his tone harsh as he blocks the receiver with his palm and mouths at her with a huff, “Stop being needy fo’ once. I’ve clearly some important issues to care for, Y/N.” Poor Y/N's deathly grip on his shirt loosens sorrowfully and her chin wobbles as she nodded still wanting to be good for him and if it wasn’t enough to give her the biggest heartbreak of the year— he even rolled his eyes at her too grumping under his breath about something how he turned her into a spoiled brat himself.

“Okie. . .” Her voice strangled and small. She shrinks into herself but wasn’t paid any heed from Harry and without another word she leaves him as to be it.

Having a huge breakdown in her room didn’t help at all. A painful headache hitting her like a train as she clumsily strips down, wearing one of his t-shirt heavily drenched in his scent he keeps for her under her pillow anytime she needs it and hides under the blankets with tears still running down her swollen cheeks— slipping into a light slumber from all of weariness and crying.

Once the smoke cleared from Harry’s mind and his capabilities of rational thinking coming back to him, he was reminded of how he denied his baby of his littlest of affection and tenderness when she clearly looked so glum and sad and upset.

He wanted to whip himself in head.

He’s such a twat that he let work come between them.

He curses himself. Making a sprint to his bedroom, knowing he’d find her none other than there and he was right puffing out a disheartened sigh when his eyes falls over his princess buried under all of these layers of blankets, he crawls up towards her carefully not to startle her awake.

Grunting at himself when he finds she’s been crying, he strokes a thumb up her blushy cheeks and her wet lashes, kissing her puffy eyelids and her little sad unhappy pout away.

He frowns. Feeling her feverish and flushed under his hand, “Hey puppy . . .” He thumbs down her throat getting a little fretful when she doesn’t stirs, however she’s such a squirmy little one and he moves the blankets away to let her body cool itself smiling proudly at his shirt swallowing her whole is when she snuggled herself more into her stuffie letting the shirt ride up her thighs and hips exposing a ghastly bruise of red and purples and he frowns not remembering it being there before.

Now. He feels shittier. Wanting to jump of the cliff for being a shitty sadist boyfriend to his only beloved.

“No!” Y/N whimpers loudly, squirming away from his touch as he examines her gently and it sent shockwaves to each of her tissues and lions causing her an undeniable pain.

“Puppy, shh, shh. ‘s just me, making sure if y'okay.” He scrambles closer to her towering her to cradle her face and kiss the tip of her nose—- his face falls drastically and his heart cracks miserly when Y/N pushes him away with a sorrowful mumble not even letting him wipe the drool away from the corner of her mouth as he usually does.

“’M okay . . .” She tries to knuckle the sleepiness away with shivery hands, “No you’re not —...” He’s cut off by her angry pout and her silly efforts to keep as much distance between them as possible, “I don’t need, Daddy . . ‘m big and I could take care of me self.” At her puny waver realization dawns upon Harry and his brows shoots up to his hairline feeling nauseous and terrible for not taking care of his babylove earlier.

He’d have never let her be away from him if he knew she was in her subspace.

��Y/N baby . . . I didn’t mean it, darling —--...” With gentleness he tries to approach her but she wraps her arms around her petite figure in a protective manner, haziness taking best of her and Harry’s chest suffocates into itself, being a dom it’s your responsibility to make your subby feel protected, loved and happy and he even failed at that.

He quickly cups both of her hot cheeks in his nippy palms when she hiccups sadly, a sob threatening to slip out, “Yes you did! You meant it. Said you spoiled me, I don’t want your money, promise! I just want you and y'shooed me away saying Y/N’s too needy . . .” Harry flinches at her words. He never even spared a thought to this negativity that she chooses to be with him for his money because he knows out of all the people she’s the only one who loves him out of the boundaries of status and money.

He realises how stabbing they'd have been to her when she was so sensitive and floaty wanting nothing more, just him.

How deep she has gone if she’s taking her own name in third person.

“’M sorry baby. So sorry. Swear on myself, didn’t mean to hurt my baby, knows tha’ work shouldn’t be an excuse t’ make y'feel unloved—- but those bastards got a tick outta me.” He rambles on frantically. Afraid she’ll think he’s lying and would finally make up her mind to leave him.

“You didn’t?” She asks with so much innocence Harry nearly cries out, “’Course I didn’t! How could I? You could never be needy, Bab. I love you so much and you’re my whole word, forgive me please?”

“You’re forgiven,” She let a small smile flutter up her features, a tinge of gleam in her previous dull eyes brightening the whole room and Harry immediately bunches her up in his lap.

“Can I kiss you?” He asks her, not sure if she still needs space from him and would rather be better without him but she bobs her head shyly and he chuckles softly before touching their lips together into a tender loving kiss and brushes their noses up and down murmuring sweetly coy to her.

“Now, could y'tell daddy how y'got this bruise baby? How did ya get hurt?” He coos, brushing her sweaty hair back and rubs her sweet gland behind her ear delicately, “Oh yeah . . . this, was raining and slipped.” She murmurs, hissing a gasp jolting away when Harry glides his fingers gently down her hip bone and fresh tears springs in her eyes as she buries herself in his chest, “Daddy hurts. . .” . “Oh babypie. Daddy’s g'na take care of his love.” He lays her down gently kissing her forehead when she whines for him to keep on holding her, “’M right here darling. G'na prep us a bath, make my baby alright.” Saying this he quickly disappears inside the washroom and next their room’s sursuring with marble tub filling with warm water, Harry throws in her favourite pink coloured bath bombs and rose essences and throws their towels in the warmer coming back with her as he left her to be, he has decided he’s gonna love on her whole night, “My baby’s the best, ain’t she? She’s my bestest girl.” He coos down at her sweetly and slides his forearms under her knees and back picking her up carefully and brings her to his chest securely.

She closes her eyes, biting down a whimper when Harry dips them in the water some it sloshing down the edges of bathtub and it envelopes them and gives a stingy feeling to her bruise before soothing it down.

He rubs her arms, and circles smoothing patterns on her tummy and kisses her a gallons as she melts in his embrace and he let’s her sink into him more, nibbling and sponging wet ticklish kisses on her neck making her purr and become a puddle of softness in his hold while she takes her time to mumble all the bad events that happened to her and he felt so guilty of not asking her how she’s and how her day went when she came to him, in need of some of his lovin.

“I love you so much, bab.” He suckles her earlobe, toying and plucking her bottom plush lip, “Was prick to me love —.. you deserve all my lovin,” He noses at her jaw, not forgetting it to mark it with his pecks and sloppy bites.

“’S okay daddy, y'had a bad day too.” He’s grateful to have her in his life. She cares about him, maybe more than he does for her and he feels himself lucky for it.

“You want me to help you relax?”

“Can I have you?” Her tone bashfully desperate and coy, Harry meanders their fingers together and kisses her knuckles softly.

Considering her wound still being sore and pulp, having sex would be painful for her and she might not grasp it in her hazy mind but Harry doesn’t want to hurt at all.

He plants a little noisy smooch to her shoulder when she nods, she mews and purrs when Harry glides his palm all the way down her body and cups her pussy digging his palm into her mound and coats his digits with her arousal dipping the pads of his fingers into her entrance, “All this wet f'me?” Palming her tits while whispering sweet nothings into her ear when she gasps and closes up on Harry scratching nails into his bended knees.

“Shh, shh puppy, jus' relax hmm? Feel yourself.” With sputtery inhales she does as he says, soon two of his fingers slips inside her and he strokes her pussy and pulls them out making her all whiny and pushes them back with a squelching noise, fucking her with it smiling and stopping when her thighs parts falls again his’s completely.

“Daddy!” She writhes and whines, trembly hands trying to bring Harry fingers back to her pulsating wetness, “You’re the cutest.” He smiles against her lips giving her cheeks several squishes and pats her head loving to see his adorable princess all flustery for him.

On her demands. He slicks his fingers back inside her and caresses the insides of her thighs while she pants and sinks onto his knuckles blabbering out daddydaddydaddy weepily.

“Cum fo’ me, puppy. Feels good? Yeah? My baby feels nice?” He rasps in her mouth, curving and petting the soft spot inside her pussy and sucks onto her upper lip when she moans and mewls loudly gushing all over his finger and he keeps on fucking her till she’s all sleepy and balmy against his chest.

Harry coaxes her tenderly, smoothing his hands all over her twitchy spots and patches sloppy kisses all over her face that makes her all giggly and shy—- the amount of endorphins spiking high in her system.

“Love you so much, daddy.” She mushes puckering her lips into his throat.

“Love you too, pup.”

#dom harry x subby y/n #dom harry x sub reader #dom!h x sub!reader #dom!h x sub!y/n #dom harry #harry styles fanfic #harry styles story #harry styles one shot #harry styles blurb #harry styles smut #cute harry #harry styles #harry smut #harry styles fanfiction #fluff #harry angst #hsh

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buckyownsmylife · 3 years

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Follow you - Chris Evans smut

The one where Chris becomes your roomate and finds out he has a domesticity kink... and more

Warnings: Smut, breeding kink, domesticity kink, friends to lovers, rommates au, pandemic mention, hair-pulling kink, daddy kink, cockwarming, kind of allusion to an age gap, but can be read as reader being into teasing chris

Word count: 4.1k

A/N: Thanks to @mollygetssherlockcoffee for reading this over and helping me make it better! You’re the sweetest person ever! this is for my own birthday celebration challenge! Like I explained here, I’m going to try to fill every single AU I listed with the characters I picked for the challenge, and since the deadline if May 27, these fics will be posted randomly, as I finish them. Hope you guys like it!

Chris’ P.O.V.

“C’mon, sweetheart,” I’d been trying to convince her to close her laptop for the last two hours, unfortunately without any luck. She just glanced at me before returning to her document, and I groaned as I left the living room in search of what I knew we needed.

“Close the laptop and I’ll give you a sip.” This time when she looked up, she found me holding a bottle of my most expensive whiskey, the one she’d been dying to try ever since she first got invited to my place.

It was a tense moment of evaluation while she took in my offer and her workload, her head turning from her computer to me and then back to the device again, and I found himself growing anxious because of how desperately I wanted her company that night.

“Please?” I tried to convince her, even going so far as to pout - which at least earned me a giggle. I considered it a win, especially with the way it made my chest warm up. “C’mon, we deserve it! After the week we had?”

She frowned when she thought back on the stresses we had confided in each other for the last couple of days, and I watched with glee when she slowly closed her laptop, prompting me to wave my arms around in victory. “We?” She teased, getting up to stand before me with her arms crossed in front of her body, making me laugh.

“Alright, so maybe just you.” I couldn’t really deny that my work “problems” paled in comparison to hers. “Listen, I’m only trying to help.” She narrowed her eyes at me, reaching out for the bottle and unscrewing it before taking the sip I’d promised.

“Shit, this really is good.” A smug smile took over my face as I wrapped my arms around her, walking us back to the couch before making us fall over it.

“Only the best for you, babe.” I watched her roll her eyes at the pet name, snickering at how it affected her. I knew it made her giddy and she hated it, it’s why I insisted on doing it - or so I told myself.

Something deep inside of me whispered differently, though. I tried to ignore it. She was my best friend and we were going to be living together for the foreseeable future. No one knew when this pandemic would let up.

And lord knows that nothing positive had ever come out of my investments in romantic relationships. So every rational thought in my mind was begging me not to overcomplicate this. I couldn’t stand to lose her friendship, anyway. That’s why I had invited her to spend lockdown with me - my need to know she was okay, and be able to have her around whenever I needed to vent.

She was the only one outside my family who got my anxiety well enough to help me work through it when I was feeling bad, and she had even been able to prevent me from having panic attacks more than once.

I just couldn’t imagine going through this with anyone other than her. I simply hadn’t anticipated how fucking horny this period of forced sexual privation would make me, and I never expected her to become a willing victim to my needs.

But boy, once the liquor hit and she ended up over my lap, shivering as she rode my thigh without a care in the world, was I glad that she did.

“Is this what you like?” I asked, looking up at her with my mouth hanging open, unbelieving of how fucking sexy she looked as she used my body for her pleasure. I didn’t even care that my cock was straining against my jeans, begging me to move her on top of it. As long as I could keep enjoying the show, being a part of it, I was satisfied.

“I wanna learn it,” I pressed, moving my hands to hold her ass, squeezing it the way I’d always wanted to do but never allowed myself to dream about. “I wanna learn how to please you.” She made me feel something I hadn’t felt before, in any of my past relationships. There was attraction, of course, but there was also this deep, familiar feeling that made me feel at home. It made me feel safe, and with the help of alcohol, I was desperate to explore it.

“Ugh,” she groaned, letting her head fall back, drawing my attention to her breasts, the way they bounced in front of my eyes, unfortunately still covered. My mouth watered at the sight of it, wanting nothing much than to strip her bare and wrap my lips around one of her nipples.

“Don’t say stuff like that, Evans.” The comment threw me off, making me frown as I took a hold of the hair on the back of her head and yanked her to me, devouring her lips. They were soft - so much softer than I’d ever allowed myself to imagine.

“Why not?” I panted against her mouth once I was forced to separate from her taste of whiskey to search for some oxygen. She kept moving, her eyes hazy and glossed over, and it sent a pang of lust straight down my body when I realized it wasn’t completely due to the drinks we shared. There was also desire in there.

“You want to learn?” She asked, hands bunching up my shirt as she used her hold to grind against me faster. “Then fuck me, Chris.” She molded her body to mine, engulfing my lips once more as I laid her down on the couch, excited to have her underneath me - excited to see her naked body, explore it, get to know every little thing that made her tick.

I knew it would be a moment I’d forever remember, regardless of the amount of bourbon in my blood. I just never expected it to become something I was so eager to relive over and over and over again.

It was supposed to be a one time thing. When I woke up in the morning, I was ready to go back to being roommates. We were good at that. She was a morning person, by the time I woke up every morning, she already had breakfast ready for me, and then we’d go out to the backyard to let Dodger out together.

We’d sit and talk and then I’d go for a run - she’d have done her yoga already, while I was still asleep - I’d answer some e-mails, she’d work on her laptop by my side and the silence was just as comfortable as all of our late night conversations.

She’d sneak out to the kitchen and come back with a few sandwiches for our lunch, and then the rest of the day would go by with us doing whatever mundane task we had in mind, together even if we were doing separate things, and I didn’t feel suffocated.

I didn’t even run out of things to say. By the time dinner rolled around and I followed her back to the kitchen, cleaning up the dishes while she fixed us dinner - I wasn’t allowed to cook in my own stove, mostly because she was terrified of my food but hid it under the excuse of that one time when I started a fire - then we’d eat together, watch a movie together, talk until we fell asleep - always together.

I was shocked. It’d never been this way in any of my previous relationships. In fact, I was certain it was the reason why they had never worked. I’d given up on any realistic expectation of settling down precisely because of this: I just never expected to find anyone with whom a day-to-day life wouldn’t eventually grow boring.

It’d been three months and I still loved to wake up to her coffee. We still fell asleep every night side by side, too tired to move into different beds because we had laughed our asses off after skyping Scott.

And now that sex came into play in our relationship? I just knew there was no way I’d ever go back to being nothing but friends - or living in a place where she wasn’t the first person I saw when I woke up.

It sucked that it took a pandemic and a night of alcohol to make me realize that, but damn, was I grateful that I decided to open a bottle of whiskey that evening.

I kept waiting for the catch, the moment it would all go to shit, but it never came. Our lives resumed to how they used to be, only now I had this ongoing inner battle to not just bend her over the nearest piece of furniture when we were busy, and the ability to do exactly that whenever there was nothing else to do.

And for a while it was bliss. There wasn’t a nagging voice inside my head questioning this arrangement because it was theoretically perfect. I had a best friend, a roommate and a fuck buddy, all wrapped into one single person that I adored.

Life couldn’t possibly get better - until I realized that I wanted more. Talks of lockdown being over started and she had plans of going back to her place, of course, but I couldn’t stand the thought of being away from her.

I wanted to see my family too, but I wanted to take her with me. Introduce her to my mom, see her get along with my sisters. Witness how she’d be with my nephews and nieces - I knew how much she loved kids. And that’s when it hit me.

I’d given my heart to her. Somewhere between the morning coffees and afternoon runs, the nights where I’d rant about all of my silly problems and she actually listened to them - really listened, never making me feel bad about what could only be described as rich people problems.

All the innocent little gestures, and the not so innocent ones - when I discovered she was exactly the nasty slut I’d always dreamed of, the way she would randomly drop to her knees and suck me off, even while I was on the phone. Most times she didn’t even let me repay the favor. She just genuinely liked to blow me.

She also liked to play with me randomly, like when we were watching a movie and she mindlessly reached for my crotch, rubbing me until I got hard. It almost always ended in sex, and I just loved it.

I loved it, and I loved her, and the idea of her ever sharing this idyllic lifestyle with anyone else made me irrationally jealous.

And that’s how I knew it. I didn’t want to mess it up. But how could I not fuck this up?

Xxx

“Chris…” Her sweet voice called out to me, reaching my ears while I was hiding in my office, trying to get my thoughts in order so I wouldn’t just randomly blurt out what I was feeling for my best friend to my best friend.

To her credit, she didn’t try to force me to keep her company - but that only made me fall even deeper for her, leaving me a complete and utter mess while she went about her day as if nothing was wrong in the world.

“Yes?” I looked up to see her by the threshold, clearly reticent about invading my privacy. It made me smile, thinking back on all of the times my exes hadn’t been as understanding, even after I let them clearly know what I was needing.

“I made cupcakes, do you want me to bring you one?” The thought of her in the kitchen, baking a sweet treat just for me had my cock twitching in my pants. Biting my lips, I pushed away from my desk to finally get up and stretch my legs, taking advantage of the monitor to hide my hard-on.

“No, I’ll come eat them downstairs with you.” She smiled before leaving, and I soon trailed after her, walking into the kitchen to find the most delicious-looking little treats, just waiting to be devoured.

Much like her, I supposed.

I was reaching for one of them, already licking my lips in anticipation when something caught my eye, prompting me to raise my gaze and look at her again, but really look at her this time.

She was wearing an apron.

There was nothing inherently sexual about the damn thing, but the way she looked with it, going about her business in my kitchen like she owned the place… It just felt right, seeing her there.

And suddenly I couldn’t hold back anymore.

“Y/N…” I started, leaving the cupcake back on the counter and brushing off the crumbs as I circled the kitchen island to go stand in front of her. She hummed before turning to meet me, smiling slightly to signal that she was listening to what I had to say.

But I didn’t know how to say it. So we just stood there, staring at each other until eventually her smile became a frown. “Chris, what’s going on?” I still couldn’t speak. Much to my absolute surprise though, she just sighed, wiping her hands on the apron while shaking her head, a knowing smile on her face.

“You’re stressed, aren’t you? You’ve been working so much, that’s why I thought the cupcakes would be a good idea,” she explained nodding towards the tray where her sweet treats laid. “They’re a reward and a break all wrapped in one delicious cake.”

The comment was like a punch to the stomach - or a scalding wave of desire rushing through my body, straight to my groin. The idea of her thinking about my needs and catering (quite literally) to them just did something to me, and I didn’t know how to explain it - I don’t think I understood it myself.

“But since they didn’t work…” she continued, blissfully unaware of the conundrum she had put me into. “I know something else that will definitely work.” And just like that, the woman dropped to her knees in front of me, reaching for my sweatpants before I could find a way to close the mouth that was hanging open.

“I guess I’ll grab a sweet treat for myself.” She looked so devious, small hand encircling my already pathetically engorged member, that all I could do was whisper an, “Oh, shit,” when she immediately wrapped her lips around it, starting to suck me off without any preamble.

My fingers were white as I held onto the counter behind me to keep myself up. She looked so good, staring up at me with her lips wrapped around my dick, I felt like I was about to blow already.

Why did she have to be such a fucking tease?

“Oh, God,” I moaned when she managed to engulf the entirety of my member inside her throat, the choking noises getting to my head. My hand instinctively laced with her hair, first to hold her lips close to my navel, then to pry her completely off of my member.

“What’s wrong?” She questioned once she was able to speak, surprise written all over her features while I was still staring down at her slightly teary face and trying to find my voice.

“I-I have a problem.” There. I said it. I had finally made some progress in my goal to let her know what was going through my head. Only instead of curiosity, what I got was a confused expression from the woman still holding my dick, her eyes darting from my own to the member throbbing between her fingers.

“No, you don’t!” It would have been funny if I wasn’t so fucking frustrated. Yanking her by the hair, I complained, “Not that kind of problem!” pulling her to the living room so I could throw her on the couch, trying to ignore her moans of pleasure in the process.

I’d figured out pretty early on that she had a pretty serious hair-pulling kink, and if my plans of sitting down and having a level-headed conversation were ever in motion, they surely went out of the window the second she pulled my body down to cover hers and adjusted my cock so it would easily fill her.

“Son of a…” I groaned, letting my head fall down against her chest as the little vixen gleefully giggled underneath me, legs wrapped around my torso as she tried to thrust up and tempt me to move.

“Just wait a second,” I managed to reason, but she just shook her head.

“Fuck away your problem, Chris. Use me. I want you to.” Motherfucker. I really couldn’t catch a break with her. Just as she started to make me move again, my hand instinctively wrapped around her neck, lightly squeezing it just enough to get her to shut up.

“I wanna start a family with you,” I finally spilled, looking deep into her eyes as I tried to ignore that I was still balls deep inside of her. Her eyes widened, and now her mouth was the one hanging open.

I couldn’t really relish in it because she looked absolutely delicious and she felt stupidly heavenly to my throbbing dick.

A few seconds went by without as much of a reaction from her and I was about to pull out - despite still being achingly hard - but her legs held me tighter, stopping my plans of leaving her tight haven.

“You know…” She started to speak, a little out of breath, catching my attention as I finally gathered the courage to look her in the eye again. “When I first met you, I thought you were the epitome of a fuckboy.”

The unexpected sentence had me snorting, and then I just couldn’t stop laughing. Finally pulling away from her, she fixed her hair when she sat up and I did the same, shaking my head slightly as I rubbed my eyes.

Our own relative nakedness - well… mine, she was wearing her usual dress with no underwear under the damn apron - didn’t affect anything when I pondered over her words, until I decided to break the silence.

“I mean… I think I was?” She chewed on her bottom lip as she took in my response, analyzing it, weighing its validity in that gorgeous head of hers. I was nervous, but she hadn’t blew me off yet. And quite honestly? I’d do anything for that little hope that was growing inside of me.

“What changed?” Was her question, so unexpected I couldn’t help but question, “Huh?”

“What made you change?” It wasn’t an unwelcome inquiry, especially when the response became clear to me, lighting up my brain and warming my chest, spreading all over my body until I had no choice but to voice it.

“I realized I could have a future with you.” My smile was vulnerable but honest, and in her eyes, I could see that she knew that. When she threw one leg over my lap, straddling my hips, I allowed myself to breathe deeply again, leaning on the soft cushion while taking a hold of her ass.

“So, how are we gonna do this?” She non-nonchalantly asked, slowly rubbing herself against my still half-hard member. I groaned when I realized the implication of her words, knowing that the meaning paired with the feeling of her wet lips dragging along my cock would get it back up in no time at all. “You wanna do me right now?”

The brashness of the question made my eyes light up, as weird as it may sound. In that moment, it became clear just how perfect for me she really was, giving me what I needed exactly in the way I didn’t know how to ask for it.

“See? This is why I’m in love with you.” She rolled her eyes at that, making me laugh. I’d anticipated the gesture, I knew it’d take her longer to say it, but it was alright. The fact that she was willing me to give me a child was more than enough proof of her feelings for me, if her entire behavior ever since she moved in wasn’t already.

“Shut up and fuck me, Evans.” Throwing her back against the couch, she yelped in surprise when I took off my shirt and slapped the inside of her thigh, assuming my usual position of hovering over her smaller frame.

“Spread your fucking legs, darling. I’m gonna fuck you real good.” The way she bit her lip as I slowly penetrated her again showed me just how excited the prospect got her, and as I started to make good on my promise, her moans told me just as much.

“Holy fuck,” she commented as I pounded her ruthlessly, weeks of frustration and the rush of anticipation getting the best of me, and I was glad for the feeling of her nails biting into my skin because otherwise, I’d probably run over the edge of not even caring about her own pleasure as I chased mine.

“You gonna cum inside of me, honey? Make me a mom? Finally fulfill your dream of becoming a daddy?” Her words detracted me from my task of sucking bruises on the skin that was now mine to bruise, mine. I threw my head back, yelling a, “fuck yes,” as my hips sped up, desperate to fill her up, but I was determined to get her to cum before me.

“Say it,” she ordered, small hand circling my throat as best as she could, a throwback to what I’d done only moments prior. It wasn’t enough to choke me, but it did catch my attention. “I wanna hear you say it.”

Tears escaped the corners of my eyes as I blinked, the intensity of the moment overwhelming in the best of ways. “God, you are such a fucking tease…” She chuckled underneath me, giving my throat a squeeze before she raised up on her elbows to kiss my jaw.

“Better get used to it… daddy.” And just like that, I realized that I had yet another kink I hadn’t known about before her. Or maybe it was just her, and I was obsessed with the damn woman, painfully turned on by every little thing that she did.

“I’m gonna cum deep inside your little pussy, sweetheart,” I finally gathered myself enough to do as she asked me to. “You’re gonna belong to me forever now. Give me kids, make me happy. How do you like that?”

The mischievous grin she gave me told me everything. “I love it.” I knew this was her way of saying what she couldn’t yet voice, and I’d take it. I’d take anything she gave me, any chance I got to love this wonderful woman.

We came together, both riding our highs in deep ecstasy. I moaned when I felt myself empty all of my seed inside of her, incredibly excited about the prospect of starting our future together right then.

“You’re so fucking beautiful.” I cradled her face in my hands as I struggled to catch my breath, but she turned it to the side and pressed a kiss to my palm and I was breathless all over again. It was such a simple action, why did it get to me so much?

“You’re not too bad yourself, Chris.” I didn’t want to part with her warmth, so I just adjusted us on the sofa in a way that kept me inside of her, sighing contently as I realized I’d never have to sleep away from her again.

“I’m gonna stay right here all night.” I adjusted myself so I was resting my face on her boobs, perfectly happy to do just so, but by the tone of her voice, I knew she had a teasing smile when she called me an, “Old man.”

“And here I was, thinking you’d be able to go again.” Warmth filled my chest at the realization of just how badly she wanted me - just as much as I wanted her too. I was so damn ecstatic. Not even her pokes at my age would be able to affect me.

“Oh, darling… better get ready,” I warned as I adjusted myself to hover over her again, taking notice of the excited glint in her eyes, the way she bit her lip as she stared back at me. “I’m never gonna get enough of you.”

The next morning, I added a new kink to the list of random bits of information that were driving me slowly insane as I felt the overwhelming need to bend the woman that I now got to call ‘mine’ over the nearest piece of furniture and rail her until I had cummed deep inside her pussy: seeing her in my shirt while cooking breakfast.

Yeah, I was going to live a happy life by her side.

#my 2k challenge #chris evans smut #my fics #chris evans #smut #roommates au #friends to lovers #chris evans x reader #chris evans reader #chris evans reader insert #chris evans reader inserts #RPF #chris evans fanfiction

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greta-van-chaos · 2 years

Text

I Can't

So I reposted @screnwriter 's "a hundred kissing prompts" and decided that I wanted to pick the first few I'd write about. I chose prompt 43 "you kissed me last night." " and you didn't stop me." If you want to pick one for me you can submit your choice here along with which boy you want! I do write for Danny I just don't have any posted yet :)

Pairing | Jake Kiszka x Reader

Warnings | Angst, cursing (there is a happy ending)

"Can you guys just pick a damn movie" I call from the kitchen hoping my voice can be heard over the argument taking place in the living room. "I swear to god, they're so fucking indecisive" I laugh. On this particular Thursday night Sam and I had planned to kickback and enjoy a shitty horror movie marathon but of course his two older brothers had to come and crash it. Josh is a lovely guy, I quite like him to be honest! He's sweet and funny and loud but Jake, on the other hand, I have confusing feelings about. He's quiet and attentive, which can be great but it can also be unsettling, that along with the way he looks at me is a recipe for disaster.

The first time I met Jake we were left in a room together alone for a few minutes and he didn't speak a single word to me, he just watched me like a predator and it's prey, the tension in the air was so thick and electric I could barely breathe. I've avoided being alone with him ever since but that hasn't stopped me stealing glances whenever he's around because if it isn't totally obvious, I am totally infatuated with him but Sam and I have been friends since our first day of university and I would never stoop so low as to go out with his brother. I don't like Sam romantically or anything but I still feel like it would be a betrayal in every way.

"Do you need any help?" Sam's voice rips me from my thoughts and I silently thank him for prying me out of the rabbit hole that is his brother.

I survey my surroundings and realize I'm one glass of beer short, was I subconsciously avoiding an interaction with Jake or was it an accident? I shake my head and put on a small smile as I turn back to Sam "If you could just take these into the living room, I forgot to pour myself one"

The brunette nods and grabs a glass in each hand "Would you mind bringing that one with you when you come? I can't hold all three."

"Yeah for sure, I'll see you in there" I finish filling my glass and grab the one Sam couldn't carry, bringing them into the living room. When I step into the room my breath catches in my throat. Sam and Josh are sharing one of our two, small couches and Jake is sitting alone on the other without a beer in his hand. I mentally curse myself as I walk over and sit down next to Jake, as far away from him as I can and then hand him his beer without making eye contact... or at least without making eye contact until his fingers brush against mine when he grabs the glass. My eyes shoot up to meet his and a smug expression graces his features. Flustered, I flick my gaze to Sam and Josh, locking eyes with the latter "What movie did you guys pick?

"Halloween" He says in a cheery voice "It's one of my favorites"

I smile at his sunny disposition "Good choice Joshy, It's one of my favorites too!" His cheeks flush at the silly endearment and when I look over at Jake his expression is lukewarm.

The movie starts and I can barely focus knowing that Jake is behind me. The couch we're on is angled sideways to the TV so I have to lay my head on the arm of the couch as not to block Jake's view. "That doesn't look very comfortable" My body freezes and I'm hyper aware of Jake's breath on my neck, how did I not feel the couch move when he leaned over? I push the thought aside and focus even harder on the movie, ignoring him. "Lay back on me, then we can both see perfectly"

I let out a long breath realizing that he's right, we would both be able to lay comfortably and it's the smartest way for us to see the TV properly. I nod my head curtly and let him ease me back onto his chest by my shoulders. Every brush of his fingertips against me sends an electric shock through my body. I wonder if he can feel my heart going a mile a minute when I lay back against him. His legs are around mine and he rests his chin lightly on my head once we're both comfortable, which seems a little too intimate for the moment but how can I possibly care, this is all of my dreams and worst nightmares coming true at once. I imagine how this looks to Sam and Josh and I cringe, checking over my shoulder to see if the scowl I imagined on my best friends face is that of my imagination or reality. I'm relieved to see that Sam is solely focused on the screen, as is Josh.

"Relax y/n, you're so tense, I don't bite" Jake's voice is smooth as silk in my ear and I can feel his words rumbling in his chest. I take a deep breath and let it go, relaxing my body and practically melting into him. "That's better"

The movie is slowly coming to an end and I can't be more grateful, Jake's hand has somehow made it's way to rest at my thigh, the warmth of his hand is pleasant but It stole my focus from the moment he put it there in the middle of the movie to now.

"Do you think we could stay the night? It's way to dark to walk back to our place" Josh's voice cuts through the end credit music.

"Yeah, of course, take the guest bedroom, you staying too Jake?" Sam asks

"Yeah, why not" The vibration of his words against my back motivates me to sit up, escaping him and his heavenly cologne.

"You cool with them staying y/n" Sam looks at me with a smile "I mean, it's not like they haven't stayed before"

"I don't mind" I reply, stretching my arms above my head. "I'm gonna go do the dishes, could someone help me bring the glasses into the kitchen?"

"I've got it" Jake's voice sounds from behind me and I scream internally, I really don't want to be alone with him "You guys can go relax, we'll get all this cleaned up" He motions to the litter strewn table.

"Thanks guys, I'll see you in the morning" Sam and Josh both head upstairs, probably to listen to music or something. Damn Sam and his normal sleep schedule.

"I've got the glasses, you can go start filling the sink if you want"

Keeping with my trend of silence I nod wordlessly at him and head into the kitchen, doing as he suggested and filling the sink. I'm so focused on the watching the water that I'm barely aware of Jake placing the glasses beside the me and then leaning against the counter. I stop the water and look up at him, admiring his side profile in the gritty lighting of our kitchen. His eyes flutter open and gazes at the ceiling, my staring going seemingly unnoticed.

"Why are you so quiet tonight, peach?"

I cringe at the pet name and give in, grabbing the counter to brace myself "Remind me again why you feel the need to call me that?"

"Because I like this-" He reaches out and draws his fingers along the apples of my cheeks, referring to the heated tint they take on when he uses the nickname. I pull myself away from his touch, not trusting myself. My breathing is embarrassingly erratic.

"Don't-"

"What? You asked a question." He turns to face me completely, leaning his side against the counter smugly "Have I made you uncomfortable?"

"No- It's just-" I sigh and push myself off of the counter, turning my body towards him "What's your deal?"

"My deal?"

I sigh in frustration and give up, turning back to the dishes "Never mind" I move the cups into the soapy water and sigh again "I don't need your help anymore, you can go"

"Y/n"

The kitchen falls silent for a moment and I swear Jake can hear my heartbeat. When I glance in his direction he's still looking at me. I draw my hands out of the water and dry them on the towel hanging from a rack on the wall. I mirror his stance, leaned up against the counter "Jake" I copy. His eyes alight with something foreign to me, it's dark and light at the same time, like his eyes are the night sky, ablaze with stars. I barely have time to process his movements as he steps towards me. I mirror him, stepping back with every forward step he takes until I'm pressed against the fridge. "Jake" I breath, his name passing my lips for the second time tonight.

The only thing that can be heard in the kitchen is the sound of our ragged, offbeat breaths. He puts an arm beside my head, effectively pinning me against the fridge. "Say it again" He hums

"What?" I whisper, our eyes locked so intensely it feels like we're trapped, swimming in each others souls.

"My name, say it again"

I swallow down my courage and press a hand against his chest when he leans in further "Jake" I murmur, unflinchingly.

"You're going to be the death of me, peach" His voice is low and growly, as if he had just woken up. I hear him mutter something like fuck it under his breath and before I can protest his lips meet mine, closing the gap both physically and metaphorically. All pretenses are lost in the wind as he cups my face in his palm, stroking the skin of my cheek with his thumb. Electricity more powerful than anything I've ever felt travels through every single nerve in my body. I grip his shirt and reach for his hair, feeling it's softness between my fingers. He hums against my lips and slides a hand down to grasp my hip. Everywhere he touches, goosebumps rise in his wake. I pull him closer by his hair, almost hoping we can join together as one in this intimate affair. His hand brushing my hair behind my ear knocks me back into reality and I desperately reach to pull myself out of the embrace, we can't do this, is all I can think now. I can't do this, Sam is my best friend... he would never forgive me... I my let arm arm fall to my side, pulling away. His eyes are clouded with that same, foreign emotion as before but this time confusion has leaked into his expression. I put my other palm on his chest and tilt my head to the side, pushing away.

"I can't-" Is the only thing I can bring myself to say before I slip away, scrambling up the stairs to my room and leaving him alone in the kitchen with a bewildered look on his face.

The next morning my only tasks are 1. avoiding Jake and 2. pretending that last night didn't happen. Of course, as I pad down the stairs I hear Sam yell "Josh and I will be back in an hour!" and Jake responding with an affirming grunt . I try to turn around and slip away again but Jake appears at the bottom of the stairs.

"Sam made pancakes, there's a plate for you on the island" His voice is cold as ice.

I nod and continue down the stairs when Jake disappears into the kitchen. I find my plate and instead of taking it into the living room to eat I pour on some syrup and dig in right away. "Did you get some?" I ask, flicking my gaze up to his when he stands on the other side of the island, trying to keep the awkward silences to a minimum.

"I did" He hums, crossing his arms.

"You kissed me last night" I say accusingly and I let go of my fork, the clatter of it against my plate echoing through the kitchen. Somehow my mouth worked faster than my brain and I spoke my thoughts before properly thinking them.

"And you didn't stop me," He replies coolly

"It shouldn't have happened, Jake" I lock eyes with him, giving him a no bullshit look.

"But it did y/n. We clearly have feelings for each other" He leans against the his side of the island, supported by his arms.

"No-"

"Don't lie, I know you wanted me to"

"Jake-"

"Don't you fucking do that..." He looks so hurt.

"What happened last night was a mistake and we both know it" My voice is shaky, I sound as if I've never spoken before.

"Don't say that-"

"Jake, we can't do this" I feel tears welling in my eyes but I hold back, biting my lip to stifle them.

"What's stopping us?"

"Sam, Jake. You know just as well as I do-"

"It's none of his fucking business!"

I barely notice I've moved until I'm standing in front of Jake, the island no longer separating us "He's my best friend" A tear rolls down my cheek and I wipe it away with the back of my hand "I can't-"

"You can! We can! Just... please, peach" He takes a step towards me and as though replaying the events of last night I back up with each of his steps towards me.

"Jake" I whisper

"Don't" He replies, cupping my face in his hands "I want this and I know you do too"

The tears I tried so intensely to hide have to begun to stream down my face and Jake lets go of me, taking a step back. All of the things I wish I could say coming rushing to the surface before I can stop them "I do... I do want this but-" A sob claws at my lungs and I gasp for air "Jake"

His eyes flick up to meet mine "Peach?" He sounds so uncertain, it hurts my heart.

"Just kiss me" I finally let go, letting my anxiety shed with my tears. Jake advances on me, wiping my cheeks with his thumbs before pressing his lips to mine ever so delicately. Like last night I feel that same electricity but today is different, the way he cups my face in one hand and grips my hip with the other makes my heart throb. This time when we pull away I don't want to run, I want to stay in the moment forever.

"I knew I was in the love with you the first time I laid eyes on you" He admits and we both smile.

I press my forehead against his, sighing at his heartfelt confession "I don't mean to be like this, I'm just so afraid of losing Sam, or you, or Josh" Thinking of the eldest brother makes my lips quirk up in a teary eyed smile.

"It's okay y/n, you won't lose any of us" He strokes my cheek with his thumb, pulling my head away from his so he can look in my eyes "You never have to worry about losing any of us"

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#greta van fleet #greta van fleet x reader #gvf #gvf x reader #jake kiszka #jake gvf #jake kiszka x reader #sam kiszka #sam gvf #josh kiszka #josh gvf #danny wagner #danny gvf

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