#i mother it the absence of her

[ivynightshade]

fatima aamer bilal, from i mother it the absence of her, iii. i am not a person that can be loved for a very long time excerpt from moony moonless sky.

#fatima aamer bilal #i am not a person that can be loved for a very long time #i mother it the absence of her #poetry #literature #poeticstories #art #book quotations #poetry collection #web weaving #words words words #writings #yearning #longing #parent issues #bts #self deprecation #taylor swift #franz kafka #sylvia plath #lana del rey #mahmoud darwish #jane austen #dark academia #dark poetry #pheobe bridgers #mitski #lit #abandoment issues #fantasy

[hylialeia]

you don't get it. she loved him once. she didn't have a maester, she had a brother. he sold their mother's crown to keep them fed. he said Dany, please. she loved him, once.

#I feel like the tragedy of viserys and dany is they really might have been close and loved each other normally of they'd been allowed to #barristan says viserys always seemed aerys's son but when has westeros had any sort of developed understanding of mental illness #dany knew him best and she said the last kindness left him when he sold their mother's crown #it begs the question how much kindness there would have been if they hadn't been children forced out on the streets #a brother dany says never forgave her for their mother's death giving her birth. #but who told her stories and brought her up while his own mental faculties were wearing thin #it doesn't feel like tywin keeping tyrion based on lannister name and blood alone #she loved him once. #that viserys had some inherent lecherous evil in him doesn't feel in line with that to me #it doesn't feel in line with dany please #if ned is the good guardian to tywin's bad one viserys was just a boy who found himself in that role under the worst possible circumstances #and who under duress of those awful circumstances and his own undiagnosed mental illness #(for which he never got any help or support) #failed his sister very very badly #leaving daenerys to feel the hole of his absence even when he was still alive #because she loved him. once #lol anyway! #asoiaf #daenerys targaryen #viserys targaryen

[journey-to-the-attic]

Imagine if he sent that to IK???

uh oh, simeon!

or, alternatively:

#art #obey me #answering asks #anon asks #ik was expecting a nice conversation not to get confronted with her father's mortality and her mother's absence at the exact same time #obey me simeon #obey me satan #jtta ik #i don't even know what simoen was thinking when he sent that in-game #like WHERE did that thought come from dude #for this we'll give him the benefit of the doubt and assume he was attempting a joke

[blackhholes]

Teen Wolf as Horror Subgenres

Season six A: Ghost Story

#teen wolf #twedit #teen wolf edit #twgifs #lydia martin #stiles stilinski #malia tate #claudia stilinski #tara raeken #noah stilinski #my gifs #mine #twgenres #this is one where i understand if you don't get it but i'm very passionate about 6a being a ghost story #but instead of the presence of a ghost being the haunting it's the absence #stiles becomes the ghost in that his friends are aware something is missing from their lives but they can't figure out what's causing it #also the season sees multiple character being straight up haunted if you wanna take the easy way out #claudia definitely counts as some kind of phantom or ghost and theo is being haunted by tara and his time in the skin walker prison #there's also the scene in ghosted where malia literally gets pulled underground by her dead sister and mother #and also just the fact that one of the episodes is named ghosted should work in my favour

[thevalleyisjolly]

Dark haired Legolas is something that can be so personal, actually.

#the valley is posting #on a relatively unrelated note; i love how there will be many different interpretations of and reference models for legolas in fanart #but for thranduil we've all just collectively decided that yes; lee pace #i do like blond/silver-haired thranduil so i'm hc-ing that dark-haired legolas takes after his mother #also she's not dead; she just happens to be on a diplomatic mission to the elves in the east who never went west #she comes back after the events of the hobbit to find that in her absence; a dragon destroyed erebor but he's dead now #and also there was a huge battle with five armies and some business with a burglar that snuck around the palace undetected for months- #she passes thranduil a flask of wine she picked up during her travels and goes 'so i saw giant worms east of rhûn' #'PLEASE tell me more about the giant worms; my love'

[we-love-morioh-cho]

Screaming crying throwing up - Barbara Ann gets to appear on screen and be a character and interact with her children?!?!?! This is all I've ever wanted!!! (praying she isn't just the oblivious and 'dumb' mum character who is a plot device for the Jojo)

#we win. we fucking win. #reading the jojolands #mine #jjba #jojos bizarre adventure #gif #art #the jojolands #barbara ann joestar #I also hope her absence from the jojolion family tree is explained but I know in my heart of hearts that is not fucking happening #I get why jodio was a bit short with her but this better not be the blueprint of their interactions or I will do something drastic #let her be a character! let her have a nice relationship with her children! let her have a story! #if she is just used for jokes about silly oblivious mothers and women I will snap #......god it is still crazy to me that I get to read a part in real time as it releases #this is so much fun and I'm so glad I get to have this experience at least once with jojo #I regret not reading jojolion sooner because I know following it would've been crazy but at least I get part 9 :')

[duahauuoplanh]

they said grief is just love with no place to go. it's the love you want to give, but cannot.

#my liberation notes #grief #So here is me telling you a brutal truth of dealing with the death of a parent is that you don’t. #Specifically the mother one here #It is something you don’t deal with #you don’t move on from #It’s speechless and devastating #and no matter what's sugar coated you’ve been told #the grief is always there #flows in your blood #absorbs into your muscle #You feel pain in every of your meal #you breathe in that sadness #it angers you and chains you to the ground. #Her absence will hunt you to your grave #series of things that went straight to my heart and never leave #I put my heart into every gifset I’ve made

[storm-of-feathers]

i had a subnautica story forever ago where the play character is a woman mourning her dead wife + maybe a dead child and coming to terms with that grief through the planet and through the empress and ultimately choosing to stay because the planet is the most peace shes had since the tragedy. same basic plot and story beats but yk, more focus on grief and solitude.

#and when sunbeam contacts her she gets to talk to avery for a bit... only for it to blow up in her face. #i was using a recycled oc as a placeholder but im attached to it so #the charcter's name is ashyr #her wife was named maria #and she ultimately names the planet maria or mara (i go back and forth) #and while she does disable the QEP she doesnt leave the planet. this is hers now #and in the absence of one mother #she becomes another #but eh id literally just be reciting the plot for it so i never wrote it #just the idea #at least with ND im changing a bunch of shit like dialogue to give eryn and the world depth #idk. wanted to talk ab it

[lieutenant-amuel]

Those two are friends, you cannot tell me otherwise.

#Personal #Okay but hear me out #Chloe celebrates the Family Day with her mother #But she was busy all day when Elena tried to solve the conflict between her and Hector #and Chloe canonically has no friends #She could be all alone that day but she wasn’t because there was Gabe #She showed him around the palace and told him about her family day traditions #And Gabe liked spending that day with her he wouldn’t say it was nice if he didn’t think so #Thanks to Gabe Chloe wasn’t alone! They spent all day together! She told him everything about the most important holiday of her kingdom! #You cannot tell me that Gabe is not special to Chloe I don’t accept his absence in The Birthday Cruise #Unless Chloe wrote him a letter she was going to celebrate her birthday in Avalor but Gabe said he was busy with some guard stuff #And after that Chloe came to Elena because she knows her and she saved Family Day and I’m sure they got to chat before Elena left Norberg #so yeah Elena was the only option left #Ajhdnfjjg sorry I just love both Gabe and Chloe and I want them to be friends #Have I written a fic about them? #Perhapsy #I’m gonna give Gabe as many non-existent in canon relationships as possible

[wachi-delectrico]

Gonna get spicy for a second and say that everyone loves spewing hate about narcissistic (NPD) parents and how awful parents with personality disorders are, but if someone were to make a post with the exact same cadence about ADHD parents they'd get shot in public at first sight

#rambling #Lemme clarify and extend my point here (cos I feel ppl could really misinterpret this one) #Am I saying people should just accept the abuse of parents if said parents have a personality disorder? No #Am I saying people with ADHD parents have it worse or that both experiences are comparable and exactly the same? No #What I'm saying is that ppl are much more eager to call out abusive or neglectful behaviour from ppl w personality disorders bc #they're seen as 'scary' or 'monstrous' and inherently evil so they have no qualms going full force at it. They think -pd ppl are the devil #But adhd in ppl's general views could never be the source of such pain from a parent to a child; ADHD ppl are seen as childish #and harmless and clueless and silly and tbh a bit stupid. Besides they could never hurt a 'monster' by jumping the gun at -pd ppl right? #'normal people don't have personality disorders so this can't affect me! But normal people can have adhd!' #That's the core of my complaint: one is dehumanised as a destructive monster; the other is as an innocent victim child #And both (parent w -pd & w adhd) can be pretty bad in their own uniqie ways! But such a thing is never considered - for the #societal construct of the child - that neurodivergencies get pushed into - is of an untainted pure inherently clueless being below human #From my exp and the exp of other friends lemme say: having an adhd parent can suck so much ass! Lol #I grew up with two opposing ideals troubling my mind: my mothers obvious overwhelming love; and the shadow her constant absence cast #She loved me so much and did as much as she could; but constantly forgot about my care and my needs and made rash choices #I think about that more and more as i age; especially as i go to doctors over and over for problems i have had since forever #It is an awful feeling to have sink in your heart: how a parent's love isn't enough; how 'maturing quick' isn't a blessing but a curse #As i grew i stopped telling my mom about my needs my school things and my life bc i got used to her forgetfulness and lack of organisation #It meant irregular eating schedules & inadequate meals. In 5th grade I'd eat table scraps at school cos my mom couldn't remember #how I'd tell her over and over that the food had to be in a specific way or it'd get burnt in the school's oven #I'd go to the 'first' dr appointment to deal w an ongoing problem & then she'd forget to schedule the following ones #You get the idea #Kind of a weird post w a strange framing device but I've been thinking about it a lot lately. Smth triggered this thought last night #I'll also never forget a few months ago when i went go a specialist for my hEDS - told her I've known all my life but never got treatment #Also just. The crushing feeling of the dr saying ''you should've gotten your own med team to work ur case since u were young!' #And just. silently nodding & wanting to cry feeling validated but also so hurt looking @ the obvious neglect #Anyways hey how did this therapy session go Doctor

[ivynightshade]

fatima aamer bilal, excerpt from moony moonless sky’s ‘i mother it, the absence of her ii. i was hard to bear from the very start.’

[text id: my sadness is a fire that i built to keep my hands warm on lonely nights. // art by sivan roshianu // i keep my misery bared between my teeth. i refuse to let her leave. / i am nothing without this obsession of mine.]

#fatima aamer bilal #moony moonless sky #i mother it the absence of her #ii. i was hard to bear from the very start #poeticstories #poetry #literature #book quotes #dark academia #yearning #longing #love #art #bts #franz kafka #sylvia plath #book quotations #lana del rey #mitski #web weaving #poetry collection #taylor swift #self loathing #self deprecation #typography #words words words #mahmoud darwish #prose #parent issues #girlhood

[cruelprincae]

to be frank with you, this is the most bull thing I've ever read in my entire life.

#( 𝐈 𝐬𝐮𝐩𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐈 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐛𝐞 𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐮𝐥𝐭𝐞𝐝 ┊ out of character ) #( tw: vent ) #( PERSONALS DO NOT INTERACT. ) #( would jude be the coldest of mothers? absolutely the woman has never known a tender touch and she parallels asha in many ways - #( - and her no 1 priority is elfhame but she would still move heaven and earth for her child like she does with oak. she cares #( and she loves. will it take a good while to warm up to the idea of a child and the child itself? yes. but it will not take from her love #( and until jude figures out her existential crisis the child will be absolutely ADORED by cardan. he will be the best dad #( hell he won't sleep until his baby is sleeping and even then he will stay up because “what if it needs something and i won't know?” #( he would give his heart and soul to his child to the point where the worst quality it will grow to have is to be absolutely SPOILED #( i mean the child will have some serious mummy issues but not to the point of “omg what will the world have to deal with” because #( cardan will be there to fill jude's absence and constantly tell the kid . like come on cardan came from a heavily neglected family do you #( oak is the way he is because he was raised by madoc who is a redcap and bloodthirsty & because he KNOWS his mother was murdered #( by his father because of him. it screwed him up. no amount of love by both jude and cardan can fix that so he shouldn't be compared #( also when they realised the closest thing they have to a son got kidnapped they “raised hell and earth to get him back” as per the synops #( so you don't get to tell me jurdan are awful parents. awful si the very last thing they'll be #( it's true not every couple needs to have a kid. but don't blame it to the parents because you as a reader hate the idea of it. grow up.

[night-triumphantt]

.

#also speaking of aus I personally have a special place for a rook lived but was in acoma for several years au #fjskdjsksjs #bc it allows Edith and Kiara to still be the same people who were fundementally changed by their mothers neglect #but also they get to have rook be there for events later in their lives #and Edith gets to have 4 dads wearing dads club shirts at her fight matches loll #but also not looking at the emotional turmoil that must be plaguing Rebecca and rook considering how she dealt w his absence and the way it #ruined her relationships w her daughters #fjskdjsksjs well actually I am looking bc that’s a v interesting thing for them to have to navigate lmao #anyway #rook acoma au is for when u want him to see his daughters be stupid ab love but also they need to still have the character development from #him dying #idek what Rebecca’s job is atm bc like Kiara nd Edith are only occasionally in way haven really atp #don’t think too hard ab it lol

[rosykims]

im revamping (😏) triss's whole chara arc as i go through this replay and honestly im thinking maybe she should hate rebecca a little more. as a treat. originally i had her relationship with rebecca as "good but distant" and her wanting to improve it.... which i think is still how their dynamic starts. but an intergral part of triss's backstory is that she DID encounter smth supernatural as a kid which traumatized her deeply and nobody believed her. and rebecca downplayed it as just triss's imagination and basically let the therapists deal w it instead. which was also a catalyst for her going off the rails later in life. so yeah finding out that her mother was in on the whole supernatural conspiracy this WHOLE time and basically gaslit her as a kid into believing she was crazy...... mm. i think im gonna let triss give her the silent treatment for at LEAST a book and a half to cope

#oc: triss #tay plays twc #i hace a disease and its called hitting media with the convoluted headcanon hammer until the content is borderline unrecongizable #but yeah the flavor text for their relationship makes me sad. ''good relationship even if i wish it were better'' #triss always felt like there was something fundamentally wrong with her because of rebecca's absence #and she wants so badly to connect with her and have her love #and after the reveal she feels like all the years spent being patient and forgiving and overly-accomodating were wasted on someone who #likely wouldnt have done the same if the roles were reversed #so now shes like ok well since you have no problem with being absent in my life then thats fine. queue rebecca's shocked pikachu face <3 #i actually do like rebecca honestly but idk. gracie mindblind forgives her problematic mother every day like its olympic training #i wanna spare triss that misery !!!!! let her be a hater !!!!!

[wykwryt]

really curious about the narrative direction hades ii is going to go in. it seems like granddad kronos is going to be the boss in this like hades was in the first (though i have my own alternative theories nevertheless) and that’s cool and all but how will the story work?

the charm of hades’s story and characters lay in the way that it made its godly cast seem so human, and the conflict essentially boiled down to a family feud (albeit one with repercussions for the universe) that was resolved with a happy ending for all parties. the titans, however, whatever the gods’ faults, are depicted as truly evil — but they ARE still family as far as the game’s concerned.

are they going to stick with the evil character for kronos or take a more zagreus approach to it? melinoë’s quest certainly seems more classically serious and heroic than zag’s but i have a hard time believing they’d take such a huge departure from the themes of the original game in its sequel.

#hades game #thoughts #i can’t wait to see more of our girl mel tho #lil sister!!!!!!!!! #love the labyrinth imagery in hecate’s design and also dunno what to make of it or if i should make anything of it beyond her being a #goddess of crossroads. is the crossroads bit relevant??? it seems like she’s the one supergiant’s really focusing on in this game #hecate ultimate boss?? #hades still ultimate boss???? #also we’re above ground??? but the faq says we’ll be traversing through the underworld???? #but that can’t be right clearly the dungeons are on the surface #i think #how’s the rougelike mechanic work into the story if we’re not in the underworld? #although…. mel is like half ghost so i guess that’s prolly the explanation she controls death to some degree #also #she’s a god :P and a witch #maybe she has more of her mother in her she’s not tied to the underworld like zag and dad are #how are they going to explain the absence of some of the first game’s gods? seems like zeus and maybe some others’ll still be around but #not everyone. demeter???? i’m guessing not artemis since a) we have apollo (!!!!!!) and b) mel’s design is really visually similar to her #green and moon imagery need to mean ghosts and magic in this game not artemis #i feel so spoiled having gotten into hades after it was fully developed cause i KNOW that it came a LONG way over early access both in #mechanics and visuals but i still wanna see what the full and visually rich game art will look like in the future #also the other level designs!!!!! i know the ui design is gonna change so much too i’m so goddamn needy #most of all what do we come home to? i’m not a rougelike person at all hades was just so rewarding to die in that i fucking loved it i need #this to be true of game ii please please please godamnit i’m so impatient i need the lore and game NOW #why would they do this to me this is silksong all over again cept worse cause the reveal trailer gives me no idea of the storyline or #gameplay although i know they’ll reveal more soon i am just unable to stop thinking about this aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa #wyk writ

[tjerra14]

Sorting through some stuff and came across this one again. It’s going to be six years in July but I guess it never really stops hurting.

#longer even if you count the years where we were already strangers to her #she recognised me the longest because i practically spent my entire childhood with her #my mother always found excuses to dip out #but my grandmother was always there #she just had this presence #and it's even more palpable in her absence #because there's just this huge void for all of us where she used to be #and like. i was recently asked at work by someone who was a complete stranger to me if i was related to her #and it was just so nice to have a stranger remember her so fondly #she was kind and did her best to care about everyone even though life did its best to beat her down #and sometimes i wish i could just sit down with her in front of the tv again #hold her hands and tell her about my life and accomplishments #and how all the dreams she supported me in and wanted to come true for me #are now fulfilled #and thank her for always believing in me #for listening #for tolerating and encouraging all my rambles about birds #anyway. #i love you grandma #and now i should probably get back to the boxes #personal