I Never Saw You Coming: Prologue (Don't Get Attached)
Papa Emeritus IV needs a Prime Mover. Larysa needs a way to keep her cult from dying. They just might be the answer to each other’s problems.
And they just might fall in love along the way.
(Also readable on AO3 and Squidgeworld)
Don't get attached, Copia told himself, repeatedly. Don't get attached. This is just a political thing. Just business.
Just further spreading the word of the Dark Lord. Just keeping a cult from dying by showing them it'd be okay to associate with the greater Satanic church. Just combining two different (but similar) unholy factions.
Just his focusing on his responsibilities as the current Papa Emeritus. That's all.
It wasn't about the woman herself. It wasn't about being attracted to her. It wasn't about falling in love with her. It wasn't about being captivated by her and the way she carried herself, or admiring her confidence and her backbone. Or about how she took a genuine interest in what he had to say.
And it definitely wasn't about his heart soaring whenever she was around, and wanting to be with her...
No, it wasn't about any of that. Or it wasn't supposed to be. It was supposed to just be a practical, unemotional decision. Not influenced by how he felt about her at all.
Don't get attached, Copia told himself.
Too late, he replied.
Don't get attached, Larysa told herself, repeatedly. Don't get attached. He's just a means to an end.
A way to keep her cult from dying. A way to breathe new life into it. A way to keep it going. A way to get it into a higher standing in the world.
A way to carry out her responsibility. That's all.
Not someone to care about. Not someone to love. Not someone to adore.
Not someone who made her happy, who made her smile, who made her heart sing. Not someone to want to be with.
Don't get attached, Larysa told herself. Don't let his smile get to you. Don't think about how much he loves rats. Don't think about how sweet he is to his ghouls. Don't think about his enthusiasm on stage. Don't think about how adorable he is. Don't think about how big his dick is. Don't think about how good he makes you feel.
Don't get attached, Larysa told herself.
Too late, she replied.
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DP x DC
not me thinking about imaginary scenarios of ten year old Tim Drake in the ghost zone (pariah’s castle)
where Tim thinks it’s strangely soothing that despite being the only one whose steps connect to the ground, there’s not that eerie silence that befell drake manor
strange blob creatures chitter softly and nip at his hair and swooshes and wisps of wind betray the presence of an invisible ghost
which after following he realizes it’s almost like he’s trailing after the black dark shadow that is batman again
which gives him the idea that, maybe, just this one time, he can play the part of robin
that in mind Tim makes out a game of sneaking to the side of ghosts that look like they’re brooding and if they can spot him he loses
most just grunt in response (very in character) while others fuss over him and ask questions which Tim uses to infodump
he also politely asks the ghost that always asks him how he’s doing to instead say the word “report”
(the ghost looks at him weirdly but humors him and besides the answer would be the same anyways)
Tim also(!!)
gets on the case of why the walls lack tangibility when he is the one leaning on them (he doesn’t live down the time he wanted to look cool only to fall through the wall)
hyperfixates on how gravity works in the ghost zone because he couldn’t do a skateboard trick he has pulled off many many times and he’s salty about it
tries to figure out where they are getting human food from (cause it’s hot enough to be homemade but also there’s no kitchen —so how could it be) (also he wants coffee)
finds out the dude that often gives him a side eye when he finds that Tim knows how to do something (math homework), is next in line for the throne and yet doesn’t have a single “mingle and talk people up” bone in his body. (despite it his networking is a solid 7/10)
gets a ghost horse to adopt him what
discovers pretty quickly that there are rooms to which he can’t phase through (a.k.a. he’s not allowed entry) to which he begrudgingly backs off even though that stands in his way of doing a very thorough layout™ of the place (robin would)
sulks over the lack of extreme sports in the place
(Danny takes him to the Far Frozen where they go tire sliding in the snow and where tim learns how to use a skateboard skate and also that ghost ice cream is just as good as normal ice cream)
sulks again cuz he caught a common cold
also because there’s no sun or moon poor Timmy’s already screwed sleep schedule gets more messed up to the point no one knows when or where he will fall asleep
(ghosts find him in the most unhinged of places with a signature purple cloak draped over him every. single. time.)
overall, be a menace
see-> the time he threatened to build ghost weapons he’d somehow memorized the blueprints of cause Danny wouldn’t let him visit the radium girls factory but yes the renaissance period
see-> that time he went through the whole ghost energy and how to work with it book section in the library and half an hour later had a prototype of a star wars laser beam made
(note: bribing only works for hot chocolate, not for letting him keep cool-looking guns)
just tim having the time of his life
clockwork being no help at all (the ghost loves being a cryptid)
and danny trying not to get attached while he progressively gets more concerned over this chaos child he emotionally adopted as his little brother
(to fit canon cause i want it to this would just be until Danny finds the dimension little Timmy is from, then they can safely yeet the child back to the moment he first went missing)
anyways before anyone knows it’s been three months
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I Never Saw You Coming: Chapter 1 (Introduction + Interview)
Papa Emeritus IV needs a Prime Mover. Larysa needs a way to keep her cult from dying. They just might be the answer to the other’s problem.
And they just might fall in love along the way.
(Also readable on AO3 and Squidgeworld)
Larysa had spent the better part of her morning rooting through her closet. She had an important appointment today, and she wanted to make a good first impression. Which required the right outfit. Which could be so difficult to put together.
Eventually, she decided on a tight black dress, matching black heels, and a cute black bolero jacket. Sexy meets business-casual. Just her style, and (probably) appropriate for the people she'd be meeting later.
Touching up her makeup and checking herself out in the mirror, she picked up her purse and made her way out the door, confidence in her stride and curiosity in her mind.
She didn't really know what to expect, and she was eager to see just what—and who—was awaiting her arrival today.
Larysa's heels clicked against the abbey's diamond-patterned floor, the sound echoing throughout the halls, signalling her arrival.
She was ten minutes early, as she usually was whenever she had an appointment or meeting, and took these extra minutes to re-check her appearance in her compact mirror, and go over the points she wanted to cover once she and Sister Imperator—the one she'd been corresponding with these past few weeks—spoke.
The door she was now standing in front of opened, and Sister Imperator—polite smile not fully hiding her intimidating nature—greeted her and welcomed her inside.
"Nice to finally meet you, Miss Hotaling. Please, come in."
Larysa entered the room and immediately noticed the man sitting at the table, watching her with mismatched eyes. He had some stylized skull-paint on his face—which looked either cute or spooky, depending on the angle you viewed him from—and was dressed in a simple black suit. Well, relatively simple. Larysa recognized it as a Thierry Mugler creation, and its collar and hem were uniquely cut.
This all went surprisingly well with his salt-and-pepper hair, and she was already beginning to get excited to talk to this man. Clearly, he was more interesting than Miss Imperator had let on.
She shook hands with Miss Imperator, and with the skull-painted man—Papa, he'd said?—who rose to greet her and lightly kissed the back of her hand.
Interesting fashion sense and a gentleman? Larysa's curiosity was now piqued even more.
Imperator motioned for them all to sit, and Larysa took a seat across from her and Papa, legs crossed and hands folded in her lap.
"So," Sister Imperator began, "Miss Hotaling, I'm happy to formally introduce you to our current head of the church, Papa Emeritus the Fourth." She gestured to Copia, smiling broadly.
Larysa smiled. "Hello, Papa. Nice to finally meet you."
"N-nice to meet you too, Miss Hotaling."
This man...Papa, actually sounded nervous. Though she was used to that kind of reaction (she often had that effect on people), she couldn't help but find it charming coming from him.
"Please," she replied, warmly, "Call me Larysa."
"Larysa." Imperator clapped her hands together. "Now that you've met our current Papa, I'd like to get to why we invited you here today..."
Larysa eyed the Satanic anti-pope as she listened to Sister Imperator's spiel. She'd heard it before, of course, but the Satanic sister was going over it again, adding more details here-and-there, filling in some blanks that she'd left out previously.
The current Papa needed to produce an heir at some point in the future, and to do that, he would need a partner, someone to carry and birth said heir. A 'Prime Mover', as Sister Imperator called it. And she had decided that Larysa was potentially perfect for the job.
Larysa wondered if the current Papa agreed, and decided that she would have to find out later, on her own; currently, the man across from her looked nervous, and like he was about to scurry out of the room, and possibly puke.
A funny contrast to his rather formal, well-dressed appearance. The skull makeup also wasn't looking particularly spooky at the moment, either. It was doing absolutely nothing to hide the anxious wrinkles or the bobbing of his Adam's apple as he swallowed nervously.
He looked kind of cute.
After her spiel, Sister Imperator stood up and clapped her hands together again.
"Well. Now that I've gone over the gist of it, I'll leave you two alone to get to know each other a little better."
The poor nervous Papa looked like he wanted to scream as Sister Imperator left the room, and Larysa made a mental note to try to put him at ease.
Poor guy. It's always awkward when your mother tries to set you up with someone.
Copia eyed the pretty blonde sitting opposite him, as he fiddled with his gloves in a subtle-but-nervous way.
And nervous he was. It had been Sister Imperator's idea (well, Papa Nihil's too, but mostly Imperator's) that he should find a Prime Mover soon; with the other Papas dead, and no one next in line after him, an heir would have to be made at some point in the future...which means he would need someone to gestate and give birth to that heir.
He had initially pushed back against the idea a little bit, but Sister Imperator convinced him that he really should give the idea a chance. Give her a chance—to find him a suitable candidate to be his Prime Mover.
So, he did. And after weeks of searching, interviews , and Satan knows what else she'd been doing...Imperator had cheerfully told him that she had finally narrowed it down to one person. A religious leader, like him. One touched by infernal forces, also like him.
And beautiful.
So far, he could tell that that last part was accurate. The blonde sitting across from him—smiling politely, yet with a professional and cool demeanour—was indeed beautiful.
Slender but still a bit curvy, leggy, blonde (duh), and a snappy dresser.
He was already tense about the whole thing, but seeing just how pretty she was in person? Definitely made it worse. As did her voice.
When she spoke to him, Copia had to suppress a little squeak. Satanas, even her voice was beautiful...slightly lower than her appearance would have you believe, and had just the tiniest hint of rasp to it, which was very sexy.
And her legs. Oh, Lucifer...her legs...
Copia found his gaze drifting to Larysa's legs. The form-fitting dress she was wearing ended a bit above her knees, and rode up just the tiniest bit as she sat. Which allowed him a decent view of her legs, which were long, elegant, and toned.
He found himself thinking about trailing a gloved hand up her leg, and wondered how she'd react to that. Would she shiver? Would she let out a little noise that was halfway to a moan? And what if he took off his gloves and touched her legs? He'd probably be the one making noise...
He swallowed and mentally shook himself from these thoughts. There would be time to indulge in the lust she was evoking in him, later. Right now, he had to focus.
He was looking for a potential Prime Mover, not a quick lay. He wanted to know more about her. He wanted to see if a bond could form between them. He wanted to see if he could, at some point, fall in love with her. And if she could fall in love with him.
First things first, though.
"S-So..." Copia cleared his throat, trying desperately to squash his nerves and focus on getting to know the woman across from him. "Miss Hotaling..."
"Larysa, please."
"Larysa," Copia corrected himself, before continuing, "Sister Imperator told me that you're the head of a Satanic cult?" He decided to start with something professional, then work his way up to the more personal questions.
"Yes." Larysa smiled. "I'm the Conjugal Mother of the Transnational Order of the Succubi. We're a sex cult of mostly women—and others—who worship Lilith."
"I see." Copia shuffled some papers in front of him—questions to ask and information he wanted more details on, he'd wanted to be prepared for this "interview".
"And, I see you are a also a regular mother? That is...you have a child?"
"A daughter. She's in university at the moment."
"Ah, very nice. A mother who values education." Copia hoped that didn't sound as condescending as he thought it did.
"I do," Larysa replied. "An educated women is an empowered woman."
"Damn right," Copia smiled, hoping that didn't sound as cheesy as he thought it did.
"Her name is Allie, by the way."
"Allie? Such a lovely name. She must look as lovely as you."
Larysa laughed. "She does, but she looks more like her father."
"I see." Copia's voice wavered a bit at that. He mentally smacked himself for it. Of course Larysa's daughter had a father—most people weren't capable of parthenogenesis, and he seriously doubted Larysa was an exception.
"He's not in the picture," she added, softly, clearly sensing his shift in mood.
"Oh, ah....I'm sorry to hear that." Copia tried to sound sympathetic, and mostly succeeded.
"Don't be." Larysa sat back in her chair, uncrossing her legs—giving Copia the briefest glimpse of what she was wearing under her tight black dress—and adopted a more casual posture.
"He was more of a fling than a boyfriend. I don't really miss him. Anyway, he's in the past, and I'm looking to the future." She winked at him, and he felt himself blushing under his Papal paints.
"R-right..." he stammered, cursing himself for not being able to be more smooth and calm. How the heaven was he supposed to present himself as a good potential partner if he kept acting like...this??
His self-flagellating thoughts were interrupted when Larysa came over to sit next to him, and his heart raced upon finding her leaning in even closer. He looked up into her eyes and bit his lip.
She gently flicked a stray section of his bangs from his face; he'd decided to not gel it all back this morning, having taken Imperator's remarks on how it made him look "quite boyish" to heart, hoping the woman he was meeting—Larysa—would find it attractive.
Judging by the way she was looking at him—like the way he looked at a good rigatoni dish—she did indeed. His breath caught in his throat.
"You don't have to be nervous around me," she said, soothingly. "I won't bite...until the second date."
Copia coughed out a laugh, head swimming when Larysa laughed with him. Satanas, that laugh...he already could get used to hearing it.
Hell, he could get used to her touch, her appearance, her...
He blinked as he remembered something she'd said earlier.
"You...you said were the head of the Transnational Order of the Succubi?" he asked.
"Yes."
"So...You are one? A succubus, I mean?"
Larysa shrugged a shoulder. "Eh, partly. I have an ancestor who was one, but that part of the bloodline was already kind of thin when it got to me."
Ah. That explained it. People with succubus blood were naturally charming and attractive. Larysa was clearly no different, in that regard.
And, clearly, even being Papa made him no different from the everyday people who were charmed and wooed by Larysa's kind.
"Does that bother you?"
Larysa's question shook Copia from his thoughts. He blinked and looked up at her.
"No! Of course not." He rubbed lightly at his face, careful not to smudge his paints. "I just...don't meet a lot of people like you."
"Ah." Larysa grinned, propping her elbow on the back of her chair and resting her cheek on her hand. "So, I'm special, then, am I?"
Copia smiled, tentatively reached to take her other hand in his, and brushed his lips over her knuckles, a dash of smugness swirling inside him as he noticed that her cheeks pinkened a slight bit.
"I think you just might be, Larysa."
Their eyes locked onto each other's for a moment, before Sister Imperator opened the door again.
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