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crushmeeren · 7 months

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SFW & NSFW Bakugou Headcannons

Everyone involved in this fic is aged up/18+; continue scrolling or block if you aren’t into this

Note; These are Random SFW & NSFW Bakugou headcannons that exist to me 😫 sometimes I can’t stop thinking about Bakugou and the things he may do. I needed to just get them out even if it isn’t a one shot. Please enjoy these with me 💥 Also, these were only a few, I had a lot more but didn’t wanna make it too cluttered

Warnings; making out, pussy eating, hickies, choking, bit of dirty talk/praise, not so vanilla vaginal sex/anal sex, aftercare

Another note; I may have gone a bit overboard with this… anywho I really really liked writing this, just something to post in between my one shots, I could write more for him as well as other characters, feel free to suggest one! 💕

If this gets 1,000 notes I’m gonna shit myself

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Katsuki who constantly paints his nails black and has piercings lining from the lobes all the way up on both sides of his ears, plus a tragus on the left and a daith on the right (black and silver jewelry only)

Katsuki who also has a damn eyebrow piercing, who also has tattoos all over his arms and chest (mostly black & gray), it all, unsurprisingly, makes you drool

Katsuki who is actually left handed, who places his right hand on the soft, sensitive skin of your inner thigh as he drives because he always wants to touch you (the fucker squeezes a bit too hard when someone cuts him off, road rage for real with him)

Katsuki who only listens to Japanese rock and heavy metal at full fucking volume, who rolls the windows down during summer and blasts it while you drive down the highway (but you love the music too, so you digress)

Katsuki who religiously wears all black, who loves Doc Martens and Vans, who has an unbearable amount of SiM band T-shirts (which you steal, but he doesn’t mind)

Katsuki who plays the drums and learns your favorite rock song just so he can play it for you (spoiler- you cry)

Katsuki who says fuck almost every other word (but so do you)

Katsuki who introduces you to Eijirou & Denki, who become some of your closest & best friends (you’re so grateful for this, you love those idiots, they’re at your house often)

Kastuki who flushes a soft peachy color to the tips of ears the first time you call him Katsuki

Katsuki who bakes you any desert you want, whenever you want, who always makes you dinner (it’s like an orgasm in your mouth)

Katsuki who encouraged you to get into fitness in the first place, who has supported you every step of the way, who loves you no matter what you look like, but wanted to share his passion of working out with you (Eijirou is often there with you)

Katsuki who helped you learn how to love yourself, who has always been your weight lifting/running buddy (you complain, but now you secretly love going to the gym with him. Plus Bakugou in gym clothes? Dear god.)

Katsuki who pushes you outside your comfort zone, who is stern but that’s what you need to stay focused

Katsuki who can tell when you’re getting overstimulated at the grocery store, so he moves as fast as he can, giving anyone around you the bitchiest look he can manage, while holding your hand and whispering sweet words to you

Katsuki who loves you unconditionally, who you trust wholeheartedly, who is your best friend, who you want to spend the rest of your life with, and he feels the exact same way

💥Little Warning, the NSWF part is below this 💥

Katsuki who fucking loves making out, who gets warm shivers, cock throbbing when you lick behind his teeth and over the roof of his mouth

Katsuki who sucks your soft nipples into his mouth one at a time, who likes to tease you, giving you the erotic view of his warm tongue swirling around one, sucking with plush lips, who bites and pulls making your skull dig into the pillow

Katsuki who sharply bites hickies into the underside of your tits, dull teeth making your skin ache, forcing you to squeal as he liters you with bruises

Katsuki whose voice is gravelly and low when he whispers to you that you’re his needy little bitch and his sweet girl in the same goddamn sentence (you think you could cum just from his nasty mouth)

Katsuki who wraps his pretty lips around your clit making you see stars, sucking gently, who slips his middle two fingers into your slick pussy and swirls his tongue around your sensitive bud until your dripping, badly aching for his cock

Katsuki who gets you so motherfucking wet his thick cock slides in all the way in at once, curly blonde pubes brushing your clit, who sends heat flaring up your spine, out to your limbs as you feel every inch of his dick slide in and out

Katsuki who bites roughly at your calf (he really loves biting you), who leaves teeth marks near your ankle bone as he wraps his fingers around one leg, hooking your knee over his shoulder as he folds you in half

Katsuki who lets you wear his fingers as a necklace, squeezing the sides just right, so you feel dizzy, lightheaded with pleasure when he makes you cum like that

Katsuki who gets so sweaty during sex you watch as it drips down the side of his face, down his neck, who laughs, making you feel filthy when you can’t resist the urge to sit up and lick the liquid from the hollow of his throat

Katsuki who actually fucking loves anal because your ass sucks his cock in just right, who fucks you from behind while he stretches your ass open (little bit of double penetration with his fingers, it’s so damn good)

Katsuki who lets you guide his cock slowly into your ass, panting, whining, growling about how hard it is not to flex his cock so he doesn’t rip you in half

Katsuki who lets out high pitched whines/moans when he starts to really fuck your tight ass, who pushes down on your upper back, nails digging in, forcing you into the mattress

Katsuki who fucks your ass so well your fingers almost rip the sheets, who has you screaming Katsuki! so loud you muffle your shouts in the mattress, whose hips bounce off your ass so hard it turns your skin red

Katsuki who nails your sweet spot through your ass, who makes you makes you cum so hard you get chills, who makes you scream out that you can’t take it (but you can and he knows, your safe word is dragonfruit after all)

Katsuki who is so mean, gripping your hips so tightly, pulling you back into his thrusts, who speaks condescendingly when he asks you where the fuck you think you’re going, because he knows you can take his thick cock, cuz you’re his good little girl

Katsuki who fills your ass, your pussy, cums anywhere he fucking wants because he can, covering you in thick, warm ribbons of his release

Katsuki who cleans you up after, who helps you get dressed, who trades sweet kisses with you in the dark as he holds you until you pass out, head resting on his chest as he snores softly

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pakunod-a · 1 month

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Abstained.

A/N: a repost from my old blog (@ayayabaroque) with a few tiny revisions, based on Kung 'Di Rin Lang Ikaw and Sa Ngalan Ng Pag-Ibig, both by December Avenue <3 Warnings: Sumeru Archon Quest spoilers, (Use of Scaramouche's real/given name) horrible English </3

If you aren’t the reason to love, would I stop my heart from getting hurt?

Kunikuzushi was beyond saving, he was impossible to love. His own creator abandoned him, his only friends left him, and being faced with his own immortality, he knows that you’ll leave him too.

You believe that though your flaws of mortality remain, you would do your best to stay by his side for eternity.

But as he drifts of into the company of another, a scholar by the name of Haypasia, you question if he is worth the trouble of loving.

“Scaramouche, it’s been only 2 days after your most recent visit to Haypasia, would it be possible to ask you of one thing?”

He merely scoffs, dismissing the idea of resting, if it meant showing affection to his most devoted follower.

It is a true wonder you haven’t left him yet, despite how inconsiderate he is towards your personal feelings.

If it isn’t you, then it won’t be at all, I won’t hope for us anymore.

The Doctor offered you revenge, wealth, and power, all you had to do was to betray Kunikuzushi.

But you couldn’t bring yourself to put him in a much more dire situation, thus you decline.

Yet do you truly feel this way about him?

“You never truly cared for me, Haypasia has been showing her dedication and devotion to me ever since she made contact with her new-found God.”

Scaramouche seethes, venom spilling from his mouth

“If I were you, I’d do exactly as Haypasia, in hopes to win over my companion again.”

I’m shivering and I can’t move, my heart can’t force myself to love you anymore.

It proves true that the snow-ridden land of Snezhnaya is not suit to your tastes,

but if it means staying as far away as humanly possible from Scaramouche, you’d go through whatever length to ensure his happiness.

For Haypasia's happiness too, yet not yours.

If the frostbite and cold doesn’t take you, then may the fake god abrew in Sumeru take your life.

You once believed that you would take any step toward a brighter future for you and Kunikuzushi, but it seems near impossible to achieve that, if he is in the glory of another.

Do you truly love him now?

If it won’t be us in the end, I’ll stop myself from loving someone else.

“I vow to stay by your side for eternity, let the damned wake, and let the souls who mourn, do so with agony. I will shield you from the world and all it’s cruelty.” —yet you, who makes such sacrilegious promises, only to succumb to sheer cold, and a slight pang of jealousy toward his “first” follower.

If you couldn’t love another, you might as well die with the vows you’ve made to each other.

That way, when he succeeds in entering godhood, he won’t remember you anymore.

But if I don’t remember who we were, who’ll cry in the morn for us?

Before setting foot into Sumeru, you haven’t even heard of Irminsul.

Much less known that Irminsul contains the memories of everyone, which holds little to no regard from Scaramouche, until he caught wind of what recently happened after his downfall.

“They have been pronounced dead. I believe you have no use for them anyway, since Haypasia is your one and only follower, am I correct?”

Il Dottore, 2nd of the Harbingers, announcing your death to the former Harbinger has his mouth agape and speechless.

He descended into madness, believing that it was all his fault, his status, his arrogance, and his vile nature that caused your death.

Shortly after his defeat, he was assigned to carry out a task for Lesser Lord Kusanali and the Traveler.

Enter Irminsul and attempt to find more information on the Descenders of Teyvat. In his subconscious, his new-found information on the erasure of existence from the Traveler has his full attention. Perhaps, if he never met you, if he never tainted his self-image, you could live happily together with him in his next life. With the knowledge of Irminsul, he begins infiltrating its memories in hopes to have his soul reborn into your arms again. I’m letting go, since I can’t move anymore. But would I stop your heart to yearn for another? He succeeded in erasing The Balladeer’s existence of this world, but it was in vain. You couldn’t hang on to the tiny bit of life you have anymore, and withered away from his grasp. In all the years of his life, he has never experienced such grief in his life. His mind, though hazy, tries to cling on to what little memory he has of you in the back of his mind. Kunikuzushi was impressed to say the least, you really did love him, even if he wouldn’t love you anymore. At the cost of the recognition as a God, the price would be his only source of hope and warmth. “Until the end of our time, until our hearts feel nothing anymore, even if forever ends, I’ll wait for you in the name of love.” - A/N: i wish that i too, can be erased by irminsul. that sucks. Stay safe, keep yourself hydrated, and continue on treading your path in life, with hopes of success. Believe in yourself, and stay positive. <3 -1, Yuan

#genshin impact #genshin #genshin angst #scaramouche x reader #scara x reader #scara angst #scaramouche angst #wanderer #scaramouche #wanderer x reader #wanderer angst #genshin imagines #bring back the cold season #ITS SO HOT HERE

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velvette-hussle · 3 months

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VELVETTE’S BLACK-CODING & THE HH FANDOM’S RACISM

A lot of y’all (and especially the ones of you that will cry about how ‘not racist’ you are without having actually unpacked any of your racism, and who are more scared of being called racist than actually being racist) are so viscerally against even the mere headcanon— let alone active canonical race-coding of Velvette being black, and I’m so over that shit.

Y’all will fight tooth and nail when a show has one barely purposefully black character — out of an already predominantly white cast of characters & more non-black poc characters than there are black ones (who have speaking roles, most notably) — to deny (black) fans the ability to celebrate and actively acknowledge that character and their race. Especially if y’all can’t ignore that character, or if before you realized they were black/black-coded you liked them.

⚠︎ I wrote this out of pure utter frustration and anger so I’m going to cuss and I sound fairly mean and angry so do with that what you will. ⚠︎

P.S. — This isn’t necessarily meant to be educational; I’m allowed to be angry without having to teach y’all how racism works while crying over my phone (because, yes, I am an emotional bitch) for free.

Some of you people are truly insidious. We get half of a bone tossed to us (because Velvette’s demon form is still dark grey which gives the audience a lot of plausible deniability when it comes to not accepting that she’s black) and everyone is still trying to snatch that half a bone out of our mouths despite the fact that y’all are eating good. It would be embarrassing if you bitches had any shame about your anti-blackness, but y’all don’t.

Then all the little pussyfooting-ass bench sitters can sit around talking about how they don’t care either way, they just don’t think everything should be focused on race (which is what y’all always say, but if people didn’t care ‘too much’ about rights and how a lack there of for minority groups seeps into everything including our entertainment media most of you wouldn’t have the rights or entertainment you do now - these things are systematic so you have to attack and address the racism everywhere, not just in the areas y’all find it more appropriate/appealing to be hit with that reality in) - but fuck it if real people are actively being exposed to the fandom’s racism though, right? Or how they just prefer Velvette white (while explaining away her afro as her just having been a curly haired ginger in her human life so that’s not actual evidence towards her being black-coded or over-emphasizing that she’s WHITE British as if black British people are some nonexistent group) and they don’t see how that should be labeled as them being racist when it’s “just a preference”; but why does the sheer idea of Velvette being black repulse you in such a way in the first place?

Like everyone will accept Vaggie’s, roughly Valentino’s and even Carmilla’s coding as some form of ethnically Latino because they speak Spanish and because their voice actors are Latino of some sort, but when the same type of evidence gets brought up for Velvette’s black-coding (her VA being a black woman, her hair being in an Afro, the type of British accent she has sounding like it took inspiration from predominantly black British areas - though definitely less so than a character like ATSV!Hobie Brown, and the audition sheet for her character allegedly specifying that she was to be a black woman even) all of a sudden coding doesn’t exist, because y’all said so I guess. It’s the same fans of the show too that will whip out Alastor’s being black biracial to brandish it like a fucking weapon against those who call out Medrano for her racism and misrepresentation/demonization of vodou and voodoo in order to absolve her of any culpability or fault that will then turn around and deny the hell out of Velvette being black, and ain’t that just a bitch? Fandom has a racism problem (and me saying this is NOT new) but despite y’all thinking your radical because of some of the shows you watch and characters you like y’all are so obsessed with keeping the status quo in tact that every time someone points out a fandom’s racism it somehow manages to keep getting swept under the rug every time.

Regardless, Alastor’s alleged page in Medrano’s Pitch Bible says he could be ‘Any Ethnicity’ which was then retroactively changed for poor accountability reasons (but most everyone takes even that retroactive change as gospel and acknowledges that, as he is now, Alastor is biracial), but when Velvette’s alleged page in the Pitch Bible explicitly states that she’s a ‘black woman’ (and that hasn’t been redacted)

now everyone spontaneously doesn’t care about treating Medrano’s words like they’re the word of God and Velvette’s race is in the “eye of the beholder” or some shit. At this point just admit that you guys are racist and can’t stand the idea of having to regularly see, having genuine enjoyment for and interest in, or having an attraction to a black character. Y’all are so transparent in your anti-blackness, but too cowardly to admit it, that it’s almost painful.

Velvette’s coding (especially before you hear her voice, see who her VA is, and see her character’s appearance in s1ep8 where she’s depicted with textured hair) is not great, and I’d be remiss not to acknowledge that. She’s got the same skin tone color-coding problem as the other black - and only supposedly black - characters where she’s somewhere between a medium to dark grey in lieu of just making her brown skinned (which I get is because she’s a demon, but still), and in general there’s just enough not going on to make her black-coding more explicit that all the ‘I don’t really see her as black’ people can have a field day, and that makes arguing her blackness a necessity because you have to provide a whole bunch of evidence before people concede defeat or call you some backhanded insult that’s almost a slur before blocking you. That’s the reality and it sucks, but I am glad that there is at least things we can point to and that (even though not the best established/depicted) Velvette is supposed to be black.

All this to say, VELVETTE IS A BLACK BRITISH WOMAN (just black-coded or otherwise) and you can certainly argue about it, but I will not be responding; I have better shit to do.🫶🏾

The one thing about fandom and fan spaces - and just any media I consume for joy, period - that has always stayed consistent is the racism (and especially the anti-blackness & misogynoir). I can never escape that shit and I hate you people for it, I really do. Y’all’s favorite phrases to hit black people with are either ‘it’s not that deep’ (which it is, because your fandom preferences and reactions likely channel into how you vote, for instance, and how you regard the real life human beings in front of you’s worth at a given moment; I’ve seen it, because the same way that y’all take in misinformation about irrelevant shit like HH & HB is the same way y’all take misinformation and run with it when we’re discussing real life instances of oppression & discrimination) and that ‘be the ones to give black characters attention/make your own black character & predominantly black media’ bullshit. News flash though, a couple of black people in every fandom cannot cure the levels of systemic racism that’s sunk into you all like a fucking disease, but that so many people are just totally fine repping. If you’re “tired” of hearing black people complain about racism don’t you think black people are tired of feeling it? Of never being able to escape the effects of it? Of dealing with it? We hate this shit (at its most extreme it gets us killed and at it’s tamest it ensures we have less enjoyment & feel less welcomed in a given space), but if we can’t enter a physical or digital space without being hit by racism and anti-blackness then neither will you bitches. Also - because I’m looking back at this & can’t help but edit - I fully understand the desire other black people have to go into entertainment/fandom spaces and not have to think about racism, and so we’ll ignore the racism we do see (and sometimes even push back against its existence & downplay its harm), but ignoring the problem doesn’t fix anything. So while I also feel that desire and the majority of my stuff (especially my posts and creative endeavors) that’s aimed at black people is “escapist” or just not “trauma porn” to some extent, there is a point where I have to deviate and bring the shitty side of reality back into focus. So yeah.

P.S. — I kept saying alleged to the Pitch Bible because I didn’t trace the Bible pages all the way down to some official Vivziepop page, but you certainly can if you want to.

And here’s the full Pitch Bible page if you want it:

It also fucks over the people that want to insist Velvette stay Vox and Valentino’s ‘daughter’ figure despite Velvette’s redesign and characterization in season one of HH— and her age.

If you’ve made it this far, thank you for reading (if you actually read the whole thing that as, but if not then whatever)!🩷

#velvette #hazbin hotel #fandom racism #the vees #hazbin hotel velvette #hazbin velvette #race coding #hazbin hotel fandom #fandom #hazbin hotel criticism #vivzipop critical #hazbin hotel critical #i speak bitches *mwah*#me•#🩷#unrelated but #❤️

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static-radio-ao3 · 8 months

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@jegulus-microfic // september 17 // prompt: want // words: 462

The music is thrumming in his veins as Regulus wrestles his way through the crowd, struggling to the promised land that is right outside the double doors. He opens the doors a little more aggressively than needed, but he absolutely cannot be inside any longer.

Of course, it’s just his luck that the one person he is trying to escape steps out on the porch right after him.

“Come on, Regulus, I said I was sorry.” James has his hands shoved into his pockets, a general aura of regret floating around him. Obviously James regrets it, he thinks bitterly.

And Regulus, to his own frustration, wants to cry. He doesn’t, but it takes work to fight down the tears stinging at his eyes.

After a moment of silence, James sighs. “I just wanted him to leave you alone, I didn’t mean anything by it. I’m sorry.”

Isn’t that the worst thing he’s ever heard? James didn’t mean anything by it? Not when he grabbed Regulus’ waist, pulled him in close, and tilted his head up with a nudge to his chin? Not when he pressed their lips together? Not when he tucked Regulus’ hair behind his ear afterward?

Regulus bites his lip, teeth digging in until it stings to distract himself from the dull ache right behind his ribs. “I don’t want you to be sorry. I want it to be real.”

The silence would be deafening if Regulus could hear it, but the blood rushing in his ears drowns it out. He can hear his heart hammering so loudly, he is surprised James doesn’t hear it too.

“What did you say?” James asks. His tone is - No. Regulus doesn’t let himself think about it, won’t drive himself crazy by analyzing the inflection of James’ words. Won’t let himself hope.

“Nothing, forget it,” he mumbles. He turns to go inside again. Run, hide, escape. He’d always been exceptionally good at that.

“No, no, wait.” James grabs his wrist, holding him in place. But Regulus knows the grip is loose enough that he could still walk away if he wanted to. “What did you say, love?” James repeats.

Regulus steels himself. Turns to face James. Forces himself not to read into the look in his eyes. “I want it to be real.”

“But you hate me,” James tells him. He steps closer, hands folding over Regulus’ waist again; a mirror image of a few moments ago. James’ hands fit perfectly, warm palms covering his sides like it is all they were made for.

“I really, really don’t,” Regulus whispers in the quiet space between them. The world exists only in the millimeters between their lips, party inside long forgotten.

“Let me kiss you again, then. I swear this time I’ll mean it.”

#writing the dialogue 🥳 writing the rest of the scene 😪#take a shot every time i use the word want (6)#jegulus #james potter #regulus black #james x #james x regulus #regulus x james #jegulus microfic #my writing #mil's microfics

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whxre-bxby · 1 year

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Fanfiction further down! Scroll!

Recom Mansk x Recom f. Y/N

Masterlist

"Greeting Death With A Smile"

Summary: Mansk is present on the boat for the last fight against Sully and Neytiri. He gets wounded and thinks he’s going to die alone. Luckily you find him in time, but you don’t know if it’s already too late.

WARNINGS: uhm TEARS, ANGST, Death, Blood, Violence tiniest bit of sad fluff, I’M BALLING MY EYES OUT WHILE WRITING THIS I THINK THAT SAYS ENOUGH

(Like, read at your own risk cuz I’m in pain I miss him sm)

Word Count: 4102

If u wanna feel even sadder i recommend you listen to (When it‘s cold I‘d like to die alone) it helped me cry my eyes out to the point that the tears burned my skin :)

Quaritch was giving instructions while, Lyle, Z-Dog, Prager, Mansk, and I stood close and listened. We were the only recom’s that I knew were alive. All the others had since been killed but since new things always kept happening, we couldn’t let our guard down and there was no time to mourn.

I had to run past Ja who lay lifeless on deck and it made me feel sick. I felt the urge to at least pull his body somewhere else but I knew we didn’t have time.

We had two of Jake’s kids hostage here with us and the Colonel was trying to get him to turn himself in for his daughters.

I sighed, not knowing whether I would live to see another day. I wasn’t even sure why I was doing this or whether I thought it was right. But as a marine, you’re taught to listen to orders, even if you don’t agree with them. Listen and obey. That’s how you become a good soldier. And definitely never doubt your superior because they know what they’re doing.

Deep down, I did doubt it though. Not just Quaritch’s plan but this whole mission. Our existence. It was all still a big mess to me.

“Hold fire!” Quaritch orders as we watch him and Spider dive back into the water.

“He’s comin’.” he added, turning to me and another human soldier.

I pin my ears back and hold back a shiver from the cold. My clothes were wet but ignored the feeling and focused on holding my weapon ready.

“Let’s get this guy.” Quaritch said like it were the easiest thing in the world. My ears perk up. I listen even though I doubt. Even though I don’t understand, I listen.

“It’s what we came here for.” the Colonel keeps talking, looking at everyone around him.

I notice how all of us are no longer fully with him. Prager and I exchange looks but with no expression because we are both in denial of our doubts and worries. Pretending they aren’t real.

Even Lyle doesn’t nod along to his superior's words like he usually would. He would always back up everything Quaritch said but now he just stared at the ground, holding his gun and letting the Colonel’s words go in one ear and out the other.

Mansk looks at us and I can tell he has the same problem. We aren’t convinced but what option do we have? We’ve already done so much harm here. Once again. There’s no turning back because we’re marked down as the enemy for every single Na’vi on this planet.

We aren’t wanted here so we must listen.

To be completely honest, when I look at Quaritch one may think he knows what he’s doing. But I also occasionally catch a glimpse of doubt in his eyes. As if he weren’t sure why he would want to do this. Maybe he isn’t. I know damn well most of us hate the humans we used to be but we can’t do anything about it.

He claps his hands together and his confident expression returns. He tells us to take our places and I look at the ground before going to cover my area of ground.

We waited in silence for Sully to arrive and within the next few minutes, something exploded on the top deck. Prager and Z-Dog ran up the steps while I stayed on the lower deck with the rest of the team which is also where our hostages were.

My ears flick in multiple directions as I hear screams and I see Neytiri land on her Ikran. Her presence here meant death to many. Perhaps it would be me too.

Bodies start falling and I run over to pull a few soldiers out of the fire. Quaritch retreated to take cover close to where the two kids were while Lyle and Mansk continued to cover their ground.

Someone shouted ‘Eyes up’ and I saw Jake and Neytiri land on the lower deck now. That meant they wiped out the entire top deck already.

I see Lyle and Mansk still standing and am about to go to them when I hear a scream of agony behind me. An injured soldier covered in flames. Without thinking, I run to him, pulling him away from the oil-covered metal pole and helping him put out the fire on his leg. He’s missing his other one.

He lets his body fall back and sighs a little in relief, seeming to not feel the pain of his missing leg due to shock. I know he won’t make it through this. There is no one here to help. Everyone is trying to live.

Quickly, I turn around and that’s when I see Lyle get pushed over the rail by Jake who turns in the opposite direction of me. Mansk is no longer in sight.

I leave the wounded man behind because he passed out and I wouldn’t be able to help him anyway. I also just happened to care slightly more for Mansk and Lyle.

I jog over to a large red metal pole, keeping my gun raised an looking around. Maybe a recom was injured and needed aid or perhaps I could spot either Jake or Neytiri and get at least one of them down.

I press myself against the side of the column, looking over my shoulder at the rail which Lyle fell down. His body looked limp as it fell, making my gut wrench. Probably nothing I could save.

Suddenly I hear a distant shout.

“Y/N!” the voice of the Colonel echoes through the blood-stained walls of the ship.

I flinch and just as I go to turn around, my knee is kicked in and I’m hit in the head with the base of a gun.

I fall forwards and my body summersaults over a rail. My movements stop for a split second until my weight rolls to one side and suddenly I’m falling again. I land on the hard ground with a big thud which sends immense waves of pain through my body.

In a state of shock, I look up at the hole I was pushed in but no one is standing there anymore.

Slowly I get up, holding my side. I can’t move properly. I think I broke or at least cracked a rib. The lights in here are broken and since only a few work, it’s very dim.

I look up and notice I’m not alone.

Mansk couldn’t comprehend what happened fast enough. His heart dropped when Jake pointed the gun at him but luckily he ran out of ammo. In the next second, he lost his balance and hit his head on a metal pole next to him, falling over it. He saw Jake take his gun and launch it away before his upper body started tilting back.

His upper body was resting over what seemed to be a dent in the ground but as he slowly turned in pain, he realised it went further down. Mansk felt as though he was slowly falling through the ground but he couldn’t prevent it because his eyes kept blacking out. He saw how he slowly fell into darkness and his feet lifted into the air, falling with him into the void.

The sound of gunshots and shouts was distant now and he lay at the bottom of the hole he didn’t see before. Light reflected inside from the fire above but it wasn’t strong enough to help him see.

He groaned in pain, slowly lifting his injured body off the ground and pushing himself against a wall so that he was sitting upright. Mansk saw his shades on the ground next to him and noticed they were broken.

He once made a joke that he would die with them when Lyle teased him about constantly wearing them. Maybe it was time.

His head would drop in the direction the ship tilted as he lay limp against the cold metal.

Mansk shouted for help, calling out the names of the people he thought might still be around but there was no answer. No one heard him.

His vision became blurry and when he looked down he saw his abdomen was covered in a small puddle of blood. Whether it was his he didn’t know.

But he wasn’t afraid he would die. This is how he imagined it. He knew very well that one doesn’t mourn death in the military on Pandora. Mansk was ready to close his eyes for the last time and die alone, in peace. After all, it was his fate. Even though he hadn’t accomplished his mission, this is what always awaited him.

He lost track of time and seemed to be drifting in and out of consciousness every few minutes. What woke him up was a scream which came from right above him and a thud of a body which landed a few feet from Mansk. His eyes managed to open and he saw a blue figure. Blood pumped through his veins as the feeling of fear returned again but once he noticed the U.S uniform, he dropped his head back in relief. It wasn’t Jake or Neytiri.

I whine out in agony as I straighten my posture and see Mansk sitting and leaning against a wall. My face brightens and for a second I forget about the pain.

“Mansk!” I shout, leaning back down on all fours and hugging my waist while looking up at him. He lifts his head and his eyes widen when he sees me.

“Y/N?” he asks, but his voice sounds weak. I smile, feeling relieved he’s alive and that I’m not alone.

“Oh thank god, I thought everyone was-” I say, crawling over to him before my hand comes in contact with a small puddle of fluid. I want to shake if off my skin but when I glance down I notice its colour. It’s not water, it’s blood. And it’s not mine but his.

My heart sinks when my eyes move higher up Mansk’s body, noticing how his blood has drenched the clothes on his stomach. When I look up at him he’s gazing at me with half-lidded eyes. Just above them, a new trail of blood is forming and slowly drizzling down the side of his face.

“Oh, Mansk…” I whisper, ignoring my own pain and kneeling next to him. His eyes follow me as I move around him and he looks weak and exhausted. I don’t think he can move much more than his head.

“Where are you hurt?” I ask, gently lifting his arm to check whether the blood is coming from his side.

“I don’t know…” he whispers, barely moving his lips or jaw. His eyes occasionally close while I apply pressure to check where the pain is coming from.

I hear him hiss through clenched teeth and I gently return it to its previous position. “Sorry,” I whisper.

He breathes heavily through his nose, looking down at himself. I notice how the blood doesn’t seem to stop.

“Come on, we need to get you back.” I softly say, lifting his arm over my shoulder. But I didn’t know how to get out of here, I was just hoping that the darkness would lead to a door which could lead us outside.

“No.” he breathes out and his body tenses. I freeze my movements and look at him.

“You can’t stay here Mansk.” I say, trying to motivate him to see if he can get up.

“I can’t move.” he whispers, biting down on his teeth as he tries to pull his arm from my shoulder.

“Y/N, I can’t feel my legs…” His jaw trembles and his voice breaks a little. His words go straight to my heart, seeming to tear it in two.

I look away, furrowing my eyebrows together while I convince myself that there must be another way. Quickly, in hopes of helping him, I lean over his body and apply pressure on his big wound to try and stop the bleeding.

I feel the corners of my eyes sting and my nose itch. The common sign that showed me I was about to tear up.

Mansk sighed and when I looked up at him he was softly smiling at me. It wasn’t a happy smile, but an appreciative one.

Mansk knew that what you were doing wouldn’t save him, but your attempt made him smile. Knowing you cared enough about him not to leave him behind warmed his heart as it slowed its beating.

“Stop looking at me like that, I’m gonna get you out of here.” I say, having to look away because otherwise, I might just break down. But my words didn’t seem to convince Mansk at all. They just refreshed his fading smile.

Even if we would somehow make it out of this room, our chances of dying were probably worse on deck because Jake and Neytiri were still there. And if they weren’t, there was no way we could get off this ship. We were both too wounded to fly our Ikrans. It wouldn’t work.

With the next inhale he tensed up and coughed while I steadied him and kept him sitting upright. His legs were motionlessly laying on the floor in front of him while his chest heaved. I noticed him cough out a few drops of blood which is what did it for me. Mansk wasn’t doing well and my hopes of him surviving were dying out.

“Thank you…” he whispered as his cough finally retreated. I look up at him through glossy eyes, wondering what he meant. I wasn’t going to let him see me cry, because crying would be acknowledging that he wasn't going to make it. As long as I held them back, there was still hope in me.

“I thought I’d-” he said, being cut off by gasping for air. “...die alone.”

A smile formed on his lips again as his eyes remained fixed on my face.

Mansk knew all recom’s were something close to friends but he didn’t think he ever had anyone close enough to him to stay with him through his last moments. He expected to be left behind somewhere, injured and no longer deemed as useful.

“Come on Mansk, don’t give up on me.” I say, my forced calm voice breaking as I feel my bottom lip begin to quiver.

“I’m glad you’re here…” he struggled to say, forcing the words out of his pained chest while keeping his faint smile. It was slowly fading again.

I gasp, pressing my lips together to not lose it. I reach for his limp and blood-stained hand and hold it between both of mine. Feeling how cold it is has me fighting back tears.

I shiver from shock and pain. My broken rib was poking me and it hurt like hell.

"I can't save us." I whisper to myself, my voice trembling.

Suddenly, I feel how my legs are wetted and I look down, dreading to see blood but this time it is water. The room was slowly tilting to one side and the water was flowing in from the other side of the room. Mansk had noticed it too.

“You-” he said before coughing up more blood and I lost it. “You need to go.” he said, his voice sounding pained and forced. I knew he was suffering but I couldn’t let him die here.

“I’m not leaving you, Mansk.” I whisper, pressing his palm against my cheek. The tears blur my vision before spilling down my cheek, burning my skin a little.

“You can- live.” he says, swallowing back a cough while he struggles to breathe.

I clench my eyes closed, not wanting him to leave me as well. I knew Mansk for a long time and even though we were never really close, he had been a part of my life since I arrived on Pandora. We rarely talked but we knew we had each other's back and it didn’t cross my mind that I could lose him during this war. Now that I was face to face with the aftermath of violence, I was crumbling down. He meant too much to me, I couldn’t let him go.

“Don’t worry about me.” I whisper, forcing a trembling smile onto my face. I point to the opening of the hole we fell through. “I’ll get out there.” I say and his eyes slowly drift from my face to the opening in the ceiling and then back to me. He doesn’t seem sure of it but he doesn’t question it any further. His movements become so faint that I notice his presence slowly fading away. Mansk’s eyes slowly unfocus from my face and I reach out and cup his cheek while tears continue to spill from my eyes.

“Mansk-” I sob, trying to stay composed in front of him. He blinked, opening his slowly closing eyes a bit more and looking at me again.

“... stay with me, come on.”

My fingers gently tap his cheek while the water on the floor mixes with his blood.

Mansk opens his mouth to say something but he can’t push out a single word and instead, he slowly struggles to inhale before closing his mouth again.

I hold his palm against my chest, roughly where my heart is as I try to keep his attention on me.

“Please, don’t do this to me…” I sob, clutching his hand. He stares at me and his eyes look sad but he can’t say or do anything.

“Mansk, please you’re all I have left.” I cry out, dropping my head down before looking up at him.

“Thank you…” he repeats and ever so faintly whispers. He was grateful I was by his side because in truth Mansk did want to live. Mansk wanted to wake up to the morning the next day and be with everyone else. But that wasn’t possible. Not only because he was slowly dying, but because everyone has had since probably died.

I rub my thumb over his cheek, trying to comfort him. He’s looking into my eyes and furrows his eyebrows together a little as if he were confused about whether my tears are actually for him. Like he didn’t think he was worth my pain.

Mansk looked at me almost apologetically and his lips parted while he tried to get more air into his lungs. I couldn’t see his chest heaving anymore but I felt so mild air fanning from his mouth with small exhales.

I bit down on my lip, watching him and needing proof of life every few seconds.

He’s staring at me, grateful he wasn’t left alone and I notice how his eyes start to unfocus again. I gently tap his cheek, waiting for his eyes to readjust like they did last time but this time Mansk’s head is slowly falling to the side and into my palm. His eyes fade out and stare into nothing as they move from my face to the empty space behind me. His soft breath stopped fanning against my hand and his face was no longer contorted in pain or sorrow. It was blank and relaxed.

Mansk’s hand slowly drifted off my chest and loosely fell on his lap.

I wanted to scream and call his name but all words got stuck in my throat and I held onto him while my mouth gaped open. Tears fell from my face onto his now lifeless and numb body.

His blood continued to colour the rising water around me red. It had already overflowed his legs and reached up to his waist.

I held on to his body, pressing my face against his shoulder and crying my eyes out.

At this point, I had lost absolutely everyone and everything. We couldn’t return to family on Earth because we were Na’vi and now we had all lost each other.

Z-Dog lay on the top deck with a bow in her hip and one in her face while the ship started to slowly sink.

Prager lay on his side, motionless with a spear through his chest.

Lopez’s body had now sunk to the bottom of the ocean after he was shot by an arrow.

Walker, Zhang and Fike both had been shot down by arrows too.

Warren and Brown got an axe in their body.

Ja I had left behind after he was killed by the Tulkun.

Lyle was floating in the water, struggling to stay above the surface.

I didn’t know where Quaritch was but I knew he couldn’t help me.

And Mansk… lay bleeding out in front of me, lifeless and cold. His head was tilted to the side and I knew that he was gone. I could never talk to him again. I would never see him again. I know even if I survived, they wouldn’t retrieve his body and he would stay here and sink with the ship.

The water was filling the room more rapidly now but I still clung on to Mansk, crying his name.

I noticed his broken shades floating in the water and picked them up.

Remembering how much he liked to wear them I steadied his head and carefully put them on him after closing his eyelids. He would have thanked me if he could have for this.

My body was shaking but I knew I was going to die here too if I didn’t leave soon. I get up and the water reached up to Mansk’s neck already. It was gushing in from a half-open door on the other side of the dark room.

I look up, making sure the exit is still there but suddenly I see the water start flowing in from the top. The entire room is slowly turning over and the water flowing on deck has managed to push over the door which now completely closed off the hole we were in.

The room gets a lot darker and the water is leaking in from the side and from the top.

I groan out in pain through my sobs. I have tears staining my cheeks and my nose became runny and stuffed. This isn’t how I wanted things to end. We were finally starting to enjoy being alive on Pandora and now we died because our past selves made us finish something they couldn’t.

I look back at Mansk and see that he is fully submerged in the water now. I cry out, hating how helpless he is and how helpless I feel now. My side aches even more and I clutch my broken rib, trying to bite back the pain. I wouldn’t be able to swim in this anyway.

Within minutes, my feet are no longer touching the ground and my head is bumping against the ceiling. I’m crying out for help in pain but no one can hear anything over the noise of the flowing water. I wonder if anyone is still alive but I highly doubt it. There is a crack in the wall which is letting the oxygen in the room be replaced with water. I struggle to swim and keep my head above the surface.

(Art)

But then I ask myself, why I’m fighting? There was no use to it. Everyone was gone and I was stuck and injured.

I deeply inhale one last time before the entire room is submerged in water. My eyes open and I peer down at Mansk, who is lifelessly half laying at the bottom.

Since I’m going to die I might as well join him there so neither of us has to be alone.

I swim down with the last of my strength, watching how the last few bubbles of air escape his slightly parted lips. My hand once again reaches for his and I hold on to it for some form of comfort before I face upwards and let all the air I have to escape my lungs.

I start choking and look at Mansk. The light specks on our skin were slightly illuminating the water but his were more faded. I looked closer and watched how the light slowly vanished from him, one dot at a time.

It wasn’t long before I started drowning and a few minutes later, my lifeless, artificial blue body sunk down and joined Mansk on the floor of the ship.

Our bodies would stay here, most likely forever since all the death here was just a failed mission.

The lights from my body had now disappeared too and we were dragged down to the bottom of the ocean along with the ship. All because some humans wanted us to finish what they couldn’t.

So there I lay, greeting death with a smile once again, in hopes of meeting Mansk someday and somewhere far from here.

(I'm going to try and make some art to this)

Tag List: @drinking-tea-and-be-obsessed @number1gal

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fangirlwriting-stories · 6 months

Text

How To Cross Lines You're Unaware Exist

Summary: A guide by Maddie and Jack Fenton.

Author's Note: I've written the obligatory vivisection fic! That means I get my fandom gold access card now, right?

...

Danny isn’t sure how he actually made it back here, when he thinks about it. He can’t walk, and it would take too much energy to turn his tail back into two legs. He’s floating slowly and shakily down the street, only able to muster the energy to turn invisible whenever he sees someone coming. But when he looks up, he sees home— his house— Fenton Works— the only place he has to go right now. Jazz is home from college, there won’t be anyone in her dorm, and there’s no way he could get there anyway. Sam’s parents hate him too much for that to be an option. Tucker’s still away at Robotics camp for another week and he— he’s going to need someone to help him. It’s probably a good thing Jazz is home, in that light.

He musters whatever he can gather up and turns intangible, then pushes himself upwards off the nearest building, straining himself as much as he can bear, which is thankfully enough to get him up and through the wall to his bedroom. As soon as he makes it inside, he collapses, landing hard on the ground of his room with a loud crash. He hears a startled yelp from the bedroom down the hall, and then Jazz’s bedroom door opening.

“Danny?” she calls. “Is that you?”

Before Danny can call out some kind of answer, the sound of a car approaching comes from outside on the street, and a jolt of terror launches him across the room and locks his door. He slumps down against it, and lets out a couple pained whimpers. His chest does not like the decision he just made, though it was really an involuntary one.

The door slams open downstairs, and Danny hears his mother’s voice, frustrated and loud. He hunches over on himself, which his chest doesn’t like either.

—fire his chest is on fire and he’s screaming can’t they hear him screaming why won’t they STOP—

“Jazz? Danny?” his mother calls a second later. “We’re going out tonight! Can you both come down here for a second, please?”

Danny shoves his hands over his ears. No, no, no no no no.

—he’s long passed the point of being above begging, especially when the GIW brought them in, but they’re not stopping either and the begging is doing NOTHING why is the begging doing nothing they listen when he begs for pizza for dinner how is that more important than this—

“I don’t know if Danny’s home yet, Mom!” Jazz calls, and Danny can hear her moving down the hall and towards the steps.

“Wait, what? It’s almost midnight, Danny’s not home yet?” comes his father’s voice.

Jazz’s footsteps stop, and Danny hears two sets of footsteps coming up the stairs.

He’s pretty sure he knows what’s coming, so he gulps a couple heaps of air before, a second later, he hears a knock on his door.

“Danny, sweetie, are you in there?” his mom asks from the other side.

—“it really is impressive an impressive mimic,” Mom says, “the screams sound almost real”—

A gentle knock on the door. “Danny?”

“Y— Ye— Yeah Mom,” Danny manages, somehow. “I’m here.”

There’s a pause. “Are you okay, sweetie?”

—“and these organs look almost human,” scientific fascination is abundant in her voice, the same intrigue that’s there when Jazz explains something about psychology or Danny rants to her about the stars—

“I’m f-f-fine,” Danny forces out, biting down on the pained cry that’s trying to escape. “You s-said you were going out?”

“We were going to,” Mom says.

“The GIW helped us capture Phantom, but then it escaped,” Dad adds. “We were going to go after it, but are you sure you’re okay, Danno?”

—“Mads, cut a portion of that one off,” Dad says, with all the delight he has when asking for a second brownie. “The one that looks like a heart.” A sigh, like how he sounds when Mom says no. “And then we’ll have to sew it back up. Ghost or not, it’ll need time to heal if we want to examine it more.”—

“I’m fine,” Danny says through gritted teeth. “Go, go find him.”

“I can take care of Danny,” Jazz says quickly, and Danny can hear them shuffling towards the steps. Jazz must be pushing them that direction. “You shouldn’t leave a ghost to roam free, that could be dangerous!”

“Well, if you’re sure,” Mom says, sounding very much unsure herself. “But we’ll keep our phones on, okay? Call us if you need anything?”

—stitches pulling his chest back together, every part of him still on fire, he can feel his heart starting to grow a new valve—

“Of course,” Jazz says, and her voice is harder to hear now. They’re downstairs. “And don’t worry, I’ll call you if something happens with Danny.”

“Please do,” Mom says, muffled slightly by the sound of the front door opening. “I’m not sure how long we’ll be gone, but even if we don’t catch it, we’ll try to be home before morning. The GIW are out looking too, I’m sure we’ll get somewhere.”

—screaming his way through what little he has left, the scream breaking equipment, opening holes in the walls, pushing his parents back against a table. Flying, flying, get AWAY—

The front door closes, but Danny doesn’t move. He’s exhausted, but he’s pretty sure if he relaxes, he’ll pass out, and then he’ll change back, and then he won’t wake up.

There’s a long, long pause, and then the car drives away, and then footsteps start up the stairs.

He hears another knock on his door.

“D-Danny?” Jazz says. There are tears in her voice. “We’re… we’re alone in the house now.”

Danny slams his head back against the door and wails.

#danny phantom #danny fenton #maddie fenton #jack fenton #jazz fenton #tw injury #tw vivisection #tw violence #my fic

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bucky-bucky-bucky-bucky · 3 months

Text

Maybe I’m the odd one out here but What is and What Should Never Be always absolutely destroys me. I weep for almost the entire episode.

Dean has a home. He has someone who loves him. His life is normal and safe. And I cry.

The way he looks at Mary when he sees her for the first time. The way he nearly crumbles when she says “I told you angels were watching over you”. And then he hugs her with everything he has. He’s so happy to be back with him mom, back in his childhood home. His mom makes him lunch and it’s the best thing that’s ever happened to him. He gets to mow the lawn like a normal person. The trunk of his car isn’t full of weapons. He’s just ordinary, and he’s so happy about it. So I cry.

And the way he hugs Jess? He only ever met the girl once but he knows how much she means to Sam. And he knows that losing her almost killed his brother. And so he hugs her as tight as he can, because he’s so thrilled that she’s alive and Sam is happy. And I cry.

But what also kills me is the way that Sam and his mom talk about Dean. They’re always asking if he’s been drinking. They’re suspicious of all of his actions and his affections. Maybe the version of Dean from this life wasn’t exactly on the straight and narrow, but they talk about him like he’s a deadbeat. So I cry.

Jesus Christ, and when Dean goes to talk to his dad at the cemetery?

“It's like my old life is… is coming after me or something. Like it like it doesn't want me to be happy. Course I know what you'd say. Well, not the you that played softball but... "So go hunt the Djinn. He put you here, it can put you back. Your happiness for all those people's lives, no contest. Right?" But why? Why is it my job to save these people? Why do I have to be some kind of hero? What about us, huh? What, Mom's not supposed to live her life? Sammy's not supposed to get married? Why do we have to sacrifice everything, Dad?”

He doesn’t say “why can’t I have the life I want?” Sure, he asks why he has to be a hero. But he makes it more about Sam and his mom. Because he wants them to have the lives they deserve. And this moment just gives us another look at what a bastard John was. Dean knew how dismissive and rude John would be. He knew that John would never choose his own son’s happiness over the lives of strangers. And he’d probably scream at Dean for even considering the “selfish” option. The way Dean says that his old life doesn’t want him to be happy also kills me. Because it’s like, no matter where he goes or what he does, he’s destined for misery. So I sob.

And so Dean goes to hunt the Djinn. He chooses the lives of others over everything, like he always does. And he realizes his new life isn’t real. He realizes he’s been unconscious this entire time, and that Jess is dead. His mom is dead. Carmen doesn’t really exist. And I cry.

So he’s ready to kill himself, but the way that his family tries to convince him to stay?

Oh my god. Spiegel im Spiegel starts playing, and Sam asks “why’d you have to keep digging?”

Mary tells him to put the knife down. She says it doesn’t matter that this life isn’t real, it’s still better than anything he had before. And that yeah, in real life, he will die in a few days. But it will feel like years. And there will be “No more pain. Or fear. Just love and comfort. And safety,” none of which Dean has in his real life

But Dean still chooses to return to his life, because he cares more about our saving people than he does about his own happiness.

And he tells Sam about the fake life the djinn created for him. About how Sam was happy with Jess. And their mom was going to have grandchildren. Sam commends him for having the strength to fight it, to leave it behind. And Dean says, “But I wanted to stay. I wanted to stay so bad. I mean, ever since Dad... all I c– all I can think about is how much this job's cost us. We've lost so much. We've... sacrificed so much.”

and it’s like, damn. Why can’t Dean ever be truly happy? Cause even in this “happy” version of his life, everything was tinged with pain and sadness and grief. And I just wish he could get a break. So I cry and cry and cry and cry.

#supernatural #supernatural rewatch #supernatural season 2 #what is and what should never be #dean winchester #jensen ackles #sam winchester #jared padalecki #Sam and Jess #mary winchester #samantha smith #djinn

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flightfoot · 4 months

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hello! i dunno if you were accepting fanfic recs asks but - might you have any fanfic recs about chat noir angst with the rest of the superhero team?

Yeah sure! I'm not entirely sure what you mean about having the rest of the superhero team, but I'm assuming it involves them having at least some sort of role in the story? Anyway I'll do the best I can.

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Dr. Walker & Kitty Hyde series by @pearl484-blog

Summary of the first fic, Rain Falls, Everybody Lies:

Chat Noir loves the rain. He loves the danger. He loves the excitement, and he especially loves how much Catwalker hates it.

Jekyll and Hyde AU

Adrien AUGreste Entry 3: Rain

So like the summary says, and the title indicates, this series is inspired by the popular conception of Dr Jekyll and Mr. Hyde - not how the book actually goes, but how it’s portrayed in popular media, with Jekyll splitting himself in two, with a “good” side and a “bad” side.

During Kuro Neko, instead of just changing his appearance through changing his mindset, Adrien took more extreme measures, sealing off his “undesirable” characteristics, his anger and sadness and all his sharp edges, into the ring so he could assume a more placid, genial persona that’d be more accepted - Cat Walker.

But Chat Noir’s still there, taking over whenever Adrien gets too testy, and desperately trying not to be pressed out of existence entirely. With embodying Adrien’s sealed anger and snappishness and rebelliousness, he’s not too kind to the other heroes - he already felt looked down upon and ignored before this, and seeing them accept Cat Walker while he’s fighting for his life doesn’t endear them to him either.

The series isn’t unfair to them - this isn’t a case where one party is entirely in the wrong and another’s entirely in the right. Marinette, Zoe, Nino, and all the others - they did wonder about what was going on with Chat, but he wasn’t in a position where he could see it, and he did have legitimate questions about how much Ladybug would budge on things, if he’d told her what he was going through. It’s a series that emphasizes characters hurting and lashing out in some terrible ways, but that hurt still being respected, and working things out, trying to get everything to a better place.

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drowning (in plain sight) by @buggachat

Everybody had expected Monarch's defeat to be a moment of triumph. Nobody had expected Gabriel Agreste, unmasked and mind frayed from continual abuse of the miraculous, crying out to all who would listen and making Paris certain of one thing:

His son, Adrien Agreste, is one of his sentimonsters.

And now he's missing.

Nobody can find him— not even the superheroes, and not even his closest friends. But Marinette, Nino, and Alya aren't ones to give up so easily. They'll find him, no matter what it takes.

(But, geez, would it kill Chat Noir to lend a hand?)

I’m sure everyone saw this one coming. If there’s one thing buggachat’s good at, storywise, it’s capturing raw, tumultuous emotions, frantic breakdowns as the characters desperately try to navigate bad situations. This was a real treat to read, as I’m betting most people reading this will agree, given just how popular the fic has been. It also has a ton of fanart, both by buggachat and by random fans, if you go looking for it (there’s a drowning in plain sight tag which I’d advise perusing).

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one does not love breathing by @wackus-bonkus-maximus

All of Paris watched as Hawkmoth murdered Chat Noir, taking the Black Cat Miraculous for himself. Ladybug swears revenge, but her enemy—and every miraculous in his possession—disappear without a trace.

Six years later, a new team of villains launches an attack for the last remaining Miraculous: Volpina, armed with new powers; Queen Bee, with questionable loyalty; Argos, the new holder of the Peacock Miraculous; and Cat Walker, who Ladybug hates the most.

Takes place after S4 - Strike Back.

This is a simply phenomenal fic. You get to explore a lot of different perspectives, like Felix, Kagami, Marinette, and Adrien’s, just to name a few, and see their different thought processes and plans and priorities, and how it can cause their plans to collide with each other, even when they all ultimately are aiming for a good outcome for everyone. The characters are pretty complex and can mess up at times, even when they’re doing things (or not doing things, looking at you Luka) with the best of intentions. It was a joy to read and a real nail-biter the whole time, I actually wrote a fic for it halfway through just to resolve some of the tension for myself, One Does Not Love Shadows.

It also features the version of Luka I’ve connected best with to date, as he feels like Luka, but also is a lot more fleshed out, and can make some major errors while simply trying to avoid missteps. It’s helped me get a better handle on a character who I’ve generally had a lot of problems with really understanding.

It is an M-rated fic, though I think Wackus is being overly cautious on that front. There’s no sexual content and I wouldn’t put the violence or gore above a T-rating, so I wouldn’t let the rating scare you off.

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Chat Walker’s Trial by @pearl484-blog

Instead of Catwalker showing up to serve as her new Chat Noir, Ladybug is stunned to find that Chat Noir has returned to her, having “improved” himself by repressing his emotions, memories, and willfulness. Deciding that this will not stand, she organizes her teammates to convince Chat Noir that giving those traits up and becoming the perfect partner was not the right move, but how can she argue against perfection?

Adrien Augreste 2022 entry for the day 23-24 prompt: Swap

This is a really intriguing fic. Instead of becoming Cat Walker in Kuro Neko, Adrien instead runs across a mage who helpfully provides some spells to make him into the “perfect” partner for Ladybug, magically suppressing his emotions and urge to rebel, as well as his memories of being Chat Noir, in order to make sure he doesn’t love her anymore. Ladybug, naturally, is distraught about this, but since Chat did all of this of his own free will, she needs to actually persuade him it was a bad move, which isn’t as easy as it sounds. It’s exquisitely painful at times with the amount of self-hatred Chat has for his previous self, and how the Miracuteam is divided on how bad these changes actually are, since he does seem more focused now - though the holdouts are a lot less on board when they think of someone who’s closer to them going through this process.

---

I hope that these scratch your itch!

#ask #ml fanfic rec #miraculous ladybug #drowning in plain sight #one does not love breathing #adrien agreste

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obsidiancreates · 4 months

Text

One Undead To Another (Chapter 7)

(Trigger warning for Shawn realizing he's a murderer, I guess?)

They all stand over the body, just… staring.

After a thorough sloshing of their entire everythings, the three had called a cab. Together. Mostly because none of them could stand up without the support of the entire group, but partly because even through their muddled drink-saturated haze they knew they all had to be there when Shawn woke up.

Apparently he did while they were out.

And now there’s a corpse on Shawn’s apartment floor.

Things had sobered up fast once it had been noticed. The night had been filled with crying (mostly from Gus, but not solely), yelling, delirious laughing over how awful the last few hours were. Only hours, only hours! It hadn’t even been a full night. The sun is still not up yet as they stare at the body with perfect little holes in it’s neck.

Shawn had been a lot cleaner with it than the woman who bit him had been. Maybe he had struggled more than this man had. Maybe she did it on purpose. It doesn’t really matter right now- but it does, doesn’t it? Because Shawn knows which one it was, and he’ll have to live–

He’ll have to exist, with whichever is the truth.

“Who’s going to go check on him?” Jules whispers. None of their eyes leave the body. Shawn did this. Shawn did this. Shawn… did this.

“I will.” Gus and Lassiter say in unison. They look at each other, a little disgusted and more than a little startled at sharing thoughts and words like that.

“We’ll all go, then.” Jules’s hand hovers by her gun- she and Lassiter haven’t taken them off once since they all got into the car to go to the mansion. That feels like a lifetime ago. It was only hours.

Gus keeps behind Lassiter and Jules and tries to prepare himself for anything– but the tension all three hold is broken by a snore.

Gus pushes out in front of the detectives and is the first to see Shawn laying on the bed, snoring, and Gus hadn’t cleaned up Shawn’s mouth before but he knows that there’s more blood caked in the corners now than there was when everyone left. Shawn snores again, mumbles something in his sleep, and rolls over.

His neck is fine.

Okay, not fine, but better. The holes aren’t holes anymore, just pale pink flesh that’ll probably scar but they’re closed and healed and Shawn is breathing! He’s breathing, he’s snoring, and his skin isn’t ashen anymore it’s alive and he looks alive!

Gus lurches forward to– he doesn’t know, he doesn’t know, he just knows Shawn is breathing and snoring and looks like himself and even though there’s blood around his mouth and fangs where his canines should be he looks alive!

“Are you crazy?!” Lassiter yanks Gus back behind him and Jules. “We just saw a corpse in his pathetic excuse of a living room and you’re trying to jump in the bed with him?”

“I wasn’t jumping into the bed, Lassie, I was going to wake him up! Look at him, he’s-”

“Full of the blood of some would-be burglar, yeah, I can see that. I should’ve staked him earlier, dammit, now there’s a dead body on our hands and he’s-”

Shawn yawns. Lassiter draws his gun while Jules almost draws hers. Shawn sits up, rubs his eyes, and groans. When he opens his eyes they’re bright red, glowing red, but they widen with shock and his hands shoot up in surrender.

“Lassie, buddy, I don’t know what I did to make this happen but- Jules? Gus?” Shawn’s confusion sounds real, looks real, but there’s still blood on his lips. “What is… oh, wow.” He puts a hand to his head, and then the other, massaging his temples. “I feel like I got hit by a truck… or maybe a bear… something big.”

“Do you feel an unquenchable, unsatisfiable hunger?” Gus pipes up.

“No more than usual… wait, no, yes more than usual. No?” Shawn’s confusion deepens, brows pinching. He stops massaging his temples to simply rest a finger on them, trying to focus. “I don’t… what happened?”

“This could be a trick.” Lassiter keeps his gun drawn.

“Lassie, I’m- I’m serious, man, I don’t… oh, my god, everything… hurts.” They can practically see Shawn’s awareness trickling back to him, like systems flicking on one-by-one in an old computer, processing programs and checking for faults before booting up entirely. He clutches his stomach, and then feels his neck, and then rubs his wrists. Something else clicks for him, and he looks back at the trio, lost. “Why’re you all here?”

“... Shawn, what’s the last thing you remember?” Jules keeps her arm in front of Gus, speaking softly, like Shawn is a feral kitten she’s trying to coax into a box.

“I, uh…” Shawn presses his fingers back to his temples, and then shakes his head. “I-I was on my bike. I don’t… know… why, I don’t- why can’t I-”

“Carlton, I think he’s in shock,” Jules whispers.

“Why is everyone shouting everything, by the way?” Shawn lays back down and puts the pillow he’d been cradling over his ears. “Seriously guys, just- I think I have the hangover to end all hangovers or something.”

“O’Hara-”

“If he doesn’t remember what happened, maybe he didn’t even mean to do… that.”

“Then that’s worse. Spencer’s lack of self-control is already dangerous enough.”

“Guys, seriously, just a little quieter, my head feels like Gus’s mom came at it with the potato masher.”

“We’re whispering as quietly as we can, Shawn.”

“Jules, I don’t know how to tell you this, but your whisper could literally wake the dead.”

A hysterical laugh almost bubbles up out of her, or maybe a sob- she can’t tell which. Maybe it’s actually just all the shots, realizing they’re no longer effective and wanting to make an exit.

“Shawn, do you remember the case we were on?” Gus whispers so quietly that Jules hears the sound of saliva in his mouth better then the actual words– something she’s witnessed him and Shawn communicate with many times over, and somehow they’re always able to understand what the other is saying, even when it devolves into the most unintelligible babble she’s ever heard.

“We’re on a case?” Shawn’s sounding more and more tired the longer he’s awake. “Is that why we’re all in my apartment? Did I get drugged or something? Someone throw me a bone here, I’m- I feel like I’m flying blind.” There’s a slight tremor in his voice. “I’m not used to this.”

“Creepy mansion, weird cult?”

“Are you describing the case or the last movie we watched together?”

“The last movie we watched together wasn’t a horror, it was the first Star Trek movie.”

“It was? … I’m all jumbled up, Gus.” Shawn pulls the pillow tighter over his head. “I don’t- it’s not there. I can’t even… god, my head really hurts, it won’t stop pound…”

Something in Shawn’s body language shifts, like he’s a marionette and someone just picked up the strings to begin moving him around. There’s a tension, and they see his head move to tilt under the pillow, lips pursed yet parted as something slides into place in his mind.

“... Pounding,” he finishes. “But that’s not…”

He pulls the pillow off his head. His glowing eyes stare right into Gus, sharp and searching. “Gus, say something again- quiet as you can.”

Gus swallows. Shawn twitches backwards a little.

“Okay, I know that doesn’t get that loud, no matter how hungover someone is.”

“Shawn,” Gus whispers so quietly it’s the La Croix of speaking, a tremble to his lip and eyes watering again. “You uh-”

Shawn fumbles with his pockets for a second as Gus can’t seem to get the words out. He finds his phone and freezes as he looks into the screen.

Everyone else, even Lassiter, lean forward to see what Shawn sees.

There is a reflection- and an accurate one.

Shawn just stares at it. His eyes start to twitch a little, and lose focus, and everyone can practically see the desperate whirring of gears in his head as things click together and fall into place.

Shawn puts a hand over his chest, and pales- Jules and Gus have to look away from the sight. Lassiter swallows, but stays ready to act, eyes trained on Shawn.

Shawn reaches up to his mouth and opens it, feeling his teeth. He starts to shake. His hand brushes his lips as it comes down, and he pulls it away, and sees fine flakes of dried blood on his fingertips.

He’s speechless. And it feels wrong. Shawn doesn’t get speechless. Not even when his life depends on it.

“... Please tell me there’s not a dead guy out in my living room right now.” His voice is small, thin, shaky. It’s wrong, everything about this is wrong, this whole night has been wrong and it keeps getting worse–

“Tell us what happened, Spencer.”

Shawn cradles the pillow to his abdomen again, eyes darting around his room, looking for something and not finding it. “I don’t– I thought I was dreaming, I– oh my god-” He coughs. “No, no no no-”

“Shawn, it’s going to be okay.” Jules steps forward now, even as Lassiter makes a noise at her to not. “You didn’t mean to, right?”

Shawn flounders for an answer, and it’s almost as jarring as seeing him dead.

“Shawn. You didn’t mean to. Did you?”

“I– I thought I was dreaming. I thought I was… it felt like a smoothie, it just–”

“O’Hara, get back behind me or draw your gun.”

“He’s in shock!” Jules creeps closer, closer, and puts a hand on Shawn’s shoulder. He jolts like she just tased him.

“You’re warm.”

Jules’s eyes water again. “No, Shawn. You’re just very, very cold.”

—-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Gus is writing a list on an old takeout receipt as all three sit on Shawn’s bed, listening to water run in the bathroom. Shawn’s been in there for almost an hour now. He’d gurgled an entire bottle of mouthwash, scrubbed his lips raw, and then his clothes had been tossed out the door and it had slammed shut but even so they could all feel and even see the steam of the hot shower, curling up and out under the bathroom door.

Gus puts the pen to his lips. “Okay, so after he–” Gus swallows, and skips over saying it entirely. “His skin got it’s color back, and he gained back his lucidity, and he has a reflection. Mary said they were daywalkers, so maybe this is all part of that.”

“More importantly, his morals are still intact.” Jules taps the paper. “Which must be just awful to deal with. I can’t even imagine waking up and…”

“Yeah. … What uh…” Gus looks ill. “What do we do about it?”

“The body?” Lassiter looks at Gus with a pinched expression. “He murdered someone, Guster. We have to take him in for it.”

“Carlton-”

“He murdered someone.”

“Well he got murdered first!” Gus’s own words sink in with him and he looks even more ill, which Lassiter didn’t think was possible. “Lassie, he’s not going to do it again.”

“We didn’t think he’d do it once.”

“I can hear you guys!” Shawn’s voice startles all of them, most of all the pain in it. “Please take this conversation somewhere very, very far away! Like Mexico, or the moon!”

“We need to do something, Shawn!”

“GAH!” It sounds like he falls over.

Jules covers her mouth. “Sorry,” she says, this time speaking at a normal volume instead of shouting, against all instincts.

“It’s fine.” Shawn’s voice is strained. “I– I think Lassie is right.”

“Shawn–”

“Jules, I– I killed someone. Not even a bad guy– well, I guess he was kind of a bad guy, but not a really bad bad guy. He didn’t even have a gun on him.”

Gus is getting really sick of these thick, tense silences. He wonders if he should do what he did with the first Yang situation, try to make things light and filled with just stuff. Shawn had asked him to. This feels even less appropriate, though, somehow.

The water shuts off, and Shawn’s hand sticks out of a crack in the door. “Someone give me a towel? And uh, clothes?”

Gus passes them to Shawn, and their hands touch for a moment- Shawn’s skin is warm, but it’s not natural. He’s warm the way a steamed bun is, or a microwaved sandwich, or a slice of gas station pizza left under a hot lamp. He’s not warm like a person.

He steps out a few moments later. The blood is gone, his clothes are clean, his hair is plastered down to his head and face instead of carefully styled up. He looks vulnerable, if not for the inhuman eyes and fangs.

He’s breathing again- Gus grabs the receipt and adds that. Maybe it’s a natural camouflage? Actually–

“Dude, when we first met those vampires, they looked like normal people.”

Shawn narrows his eyes, clearly trying to draw a memory of it to the surface. “I’ll take your word for it, man.”

“No, Shawn, I mean you can probably do that too.”

“Gus, I appreciate you trying to uh, to figure this out for me, but I–I don’t think it’ll help, man.” He presses his fingers to his temples again. “I can’t even remember why I was… whenever, I don’t– I’m blocked, and if I can’t remember that then– I mean, what if– I thought it was a dream. I think I even snuck up on him just on pure instinct, I mean that’s– what if that happens on a case and it’s one of you guys with me? I break into your apartment all the time, it’s second nature to me man, what if I do that while all…” He waves his hand around his head and whistles.

“If you think I’m not sleeping with cross-covered bedsheets and a bottle of holy water on my nightstand after this, you’ve actually lost it.”

“Fair. … I wonder if those actually work? I guess I did choke when I said oh my go…d?” He coughs again, and this time ash puffs out. “Okay!” He coughs a bit more. “Drawing it out does not help, ow. Yeah, holy water and crosses are a good bet. Ow.”

“Spencer.” Lassiter pulls out his cuffs.

“... Right. Yeah.” Shawn holds his hands out.

But as soon as Lassiter moves to cuff him, Shawn sucks in a sharp breath and his hands fly to his head.

—-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He’s in a small room, but it’s not a prison cell- he’s watching himself lay on the bed, hands pressed over his ears, gritting his teeth. He can see a sign out the window, his vision zooming in and highlighting it- a mental facility. The image shifts with a small burst of light and a ‘swoosh’ sound, and he sees a brief flash of himself biting down on the neck of another patient. Light, ‘swoosh’, he’s in a real prison cell because of the attack, he’s pressing his hands over his ears again and a guard is making so much noise jangling keys and whistling and he walks past and Shawn gets up and grabs the man by the shirt and looks him in the eye and tells him to Let Him Out.

Shawn blinks it away, gasping a little, but it’s not over and he’s pulled back into shaky ‘camera angles’ and film grain and it’s familiar but it’s usually not this intense!

He’s in the mental facility and he’s begging someone to listen. “I mean it, I’m telling you, this guy did not commit suicide! He was pushed, he knew too much, I can sense it!”

“Mr. Spencer, we know you had a long career with the SBPD as psychic, however-”

“Would you listen to me?” Something about his voice isn’t right- but the nurse shuts her mouth and listens while he shakes a newspaper at her and tells her to call Lassie. How’d he get a newspaper? They just give that to patients?

Gus is visiting. “You don’t look good, Shawn.”

He doesn’t, but he does. He looks like a really well-preserved dead body with hair gel that has the hold of the god. “Yeah, I uh– I’m kind of losing my mind in here, man. Visions are getting a little crazy. I did kinda get warned it’d happen but… it’s a hell of a lot worse than I thought it’d be.”

“Can I help?”

“Do you feel like investigating murders without me?”

“... Not really.”

“Yeah.”

“Spencer, don’t resist.” Lassie is trying to pry his hands down, but Shawn’s arms are locked, and not even slightly budging. He wants to say something snarky about it, but he’s pulled away again.

The ‘camera’ of his memory zooms in much too close and shakes all around as it focuses in on a face– Shawn knows that face. He can’t connect how, but he does. The man is scowling at him. “Count yourself lucky, buddy. You know what happened to that girl? She went nuts- visions every hour of the day, until one day she got one just after sunrise and ran out the door in a fit. Poof.”

That one feels different, that one feels familiar, that one is-

“I remember something!” Shawn gasps out. He brings his hands down and looks at his right one- there’s two new scars, faint but there, one on his thumb and one on his palm. He sees a flash of a crystal slicing his thumb and then one of the same crystal being jabbed into his palm. His stomach twists– it’s been doing that since he woke up, really, but there’s a new reason now. “Wait, Lassie, I just– I need to talk to Gus for a second first. In private.”

“... Fine. One minute.”

Shawn nods, and then grabs Gus by the arm and pulls him into the bathroom and shuts the door. When he lets go Gus holds his arm with a whimper.

“I didn’t pull that hard, man.”

“Yes, you did!”

“I was being careful!”

“I think I’ve got frostbite now, and a bruise!”

A cold hand clapped over his mouth, his own hand stuck- he thinks his hand and his wrist have frostbite.

“Shawn?” Gus is shaking his shoulder when Shawn blinks out of the memory.

“Dude.” Shawn lowers his voice. “The vampires were saying I’m actually psychic. For real.”

“Uh, Shawn, I–”

“And then just now, I had– I don’t know, when Lassie went to cuff me I saw something, man!”

“Shawn.”

“I know it seems super impossible that I got turned into a vampire and turned out to be a real actual psychic all at once but–”

“Shawn. I know.”

“Wh– what do you mean, you know?”

“Dude, when we got to that mansion we saw ghosts.”

“Ghosts? Like… like actual, ghosts?”

“Mary Lightly told us we were bad at rescuing! Your grandma helped me carry you outta the basement, Shabby let us know when we were going the wrong way!”

“Shabby? The sea lion?”

“The spirit of everyone who’s murder we’ve ever solved, Shawn. I saw the McCallum kid punch a vampire in the face!”

“Holy– but, wait, I–I remember…” Shawn closes his eyes, sees flashes of the inside of Lassie’s car, sees old wrinkled hands half-transparent holding his. “No way. But then why aren’t they–”

“Mary said it was just temporary because you being undead threw off the balance of the universe or something.”

“... So I actually have been psychic all this time? For–for my entire life? And I just didn’t notice until I got killed?”

“Don’t– don’t say you got killed.” Shawn can hear Gus’s heart rate speed up, and when the blood leaves Gus’s face almost sees it down to the veins. It makes him a little dizzy, and a lot hungry. He swallows.

“So those were probably real, then. … Well that’s bad news.”

“What is?”

“Well, if I’m having actual visions, then that means turning myself over either puts me on a path to going full-on Evil Lonely Vampire Monster–”

Gus takes a step back.

“-- or to losing my mind stuck up in some mental facility plagued with visions. Which would probably also end in me losing my humanity and becoming a horrible murder monster.”

“I’m gonna be sick again.”

“Yeah… I guess this means I have to convince Lassie to not arrest me now. … You think I’d have a better chance of that if I figure out how to hide the eyes and stuff? Maybe convince him I’m just suddenly human again?”

“I don’t think so.”

“Man… the one time I actually agree with him that I should be locked up.”

#psych #psychusa #psych usa #psych 2006 #fanfic #my attempts at fanfic

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witchthewriter · 1 year

Photo

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐏𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐢𝐞'𝐬 𝐟𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐲 𝐬/𝐨 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐮𝐦𝐚𝐧 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐥𝐝 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥�� 𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐝𝐞

⤷ gender neutral, ambiguous race, and any size reader. Requests are open, thank you for reading!

a/n: The ages are a bit confusing, and I don’t feel comfortable writing about a s/o when the Pevensies are underage. So everyone is over the age of 18!

ᴹᵃˢᵗᵉʳˡᶤˢᵗ

SFW🌿𝑩𝒂𝒄𝒌𝒔𝒕𝒐𝒓𝒚:

After Aslan sends the Pevensies back to the human world, you’re absolutely heartbroken. You didn’t even get to say goodbye. But another lesson must be learnt by many of his people, and the Pevensies are once again needed.

𝑷𝒆𝒕𝒆𝒓

・Nearly falls to his knees when he sees you

・Like the world has stopped and everyone doesn’t exist

・Grabs ahold of you and presses you to him, kissing your face, cheeks, forehead, head.

・ “It’s you. It’s really you.”

・Is embarrassed because he isn’t ... well he isn’t important in the human world. He isn’t a king or a knight. Just a plain human like everyone else.

・And that would worry him. Because then you would see that there is a world full of sons of Adam and daughters of Eve. That maybe the prophecy wasn’t so important

“You can change into human form in this world too?”

“Yes, I guess I can!”

・Would drag you back to his siblings to show them that you’re here

・ “I have to tell you ...” He would stop suddenly and his cheeks begin to redden.

“Yes?”

“I’m not... I don’t have- Well we aren’t as well off here as we are in Narnia.”

・You would be shocked. Shocked that he would need to say that. But you understood Peter more than he knew. That’s why you worked so well as a pair. You knew why Peter felt certain things and thought in particular ways.

・Aslan gave you strict instructions not to stay in the human world too long, since time moved differently

・And your task was time sensitive

・ You would go and see his home, and how he lived. What was important to him.

・Then he’d want to show the rest of his siblings that you’re here

・ “No, no Peter. They’re already waiting. We have to go now.”

𝑺𝒖𝒔𝒂𝒏

・Being Susan’s s/o I think you would have studied as much of Earth as you could before going

・Because customs there are wildly different to those in Narnia

・When she first sees you, she thinks she’s in a dream

・Once she realises it’s real she starts to cry

・Is confused and worried. She wants to know how you got here, and if you’re stuck now

・Susan knows how frightening it is to travel to another universe, one that you never knew existed. And Earth is a much less exciting place than the fantastical world of Narnia.

・She soon becomes self-conscious because she holds no authority in this world.

・ “I know exactly what you’re thinking darling, and don’t let those thoughts take hold.”

・You know Susan inside and out. And part of your fairy powers was sensing emotions.

・Susan would look up at you sheepishly (only you would ever see this side of her)

・She would have a lot of questions, and not stop asking them until you had to shush her (she doesn’t like to be shushed)

・And she would want an explanation, she wouldn’t move until you told her

𝑬𝒅𝒎𝒖𝒏𝒅

・You felt nearly crazed by the time you see Edmund in the town square, his arms full of groceries.

・You stood back and watched him for a few moments, seeing how he fit in this world

・But when you tap his shoulder and he swings around, he drops everything he’s holding

・Takes your face in his hands and kisses you so deeply

・Is ecstatic but also ashamed. He doesn’t live in a castle, he barely has any money.

・Becomes red in the face almost instantly because he realises how stupid he must look. No longer a king with a crown, but a simple young man with

・The things he thought won you over are now no longer his to give (which is stupid of him to think because you didn’t fall in love with him over his wealth.)

・”I missed you so much”

・Is a bit teary actually, both of you are

・Takes you back home to show the rest of the Pevensie’s

・And you tell them all that they’re needed back in Narnia

𝑳𝒖𝒄𝒚

・You’re intrigued by the clothing of Earth and how people dress. It’s so different to what everyone wears (and doesn’t wear) in Narnia

・Confused why people want to shake your hand all the time

・Is very excited, she thought she’d never see you again after leaving Narnia.

・She would actually squeal seeing you, run and literally jump into your arms

・And she would look at you like you were perfection

・ “I do miss your wings though-”

・Wants to show you her home, her room, her belongings, what she does for fun.

・After a while she would ask if you were going to bring her back to Narnia

・And she would rejoice so loudly because your answer was yes

・Nearly jumped in glee when you said all of her siblings were coming too

・She knew she would go back though

・She always held hope for Narnia ... and for you

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beebeetheclown · 3 months

Text

This is going to be such a corny, silly, cringe, and pathetic girl type of thing to say but here is a happy rant for you:

I am crying but I’m pretty sure they are more so happy tears. I sit in my dorm room and I realize that this blog is so special to me. Yeah it’s a blog about a girl obsessing over a 45 year old man but still it’s special to me.

It is so special to me because it is what I look forward to doing everyday. I don’t have any friends in real life and I have some on here that make me so happy. Even people who just reblog my things make me happy.

Not to be all “boo hoo” but every week day I have to spend in college is a horrible day for me. I end up so drained and depressed. I seriously think the biggest thing that’s helping me get through this isn’t even my medication or isn’t my therapist, it is this blog and my ao3. Seriously, my day could be so horrible, I could be at rock bottom, and coming on here, going on ao3, or updating my silly fics helps me so much. I come home from school so fucking miserable but I write and look at this account and then get better again. It is like drinking a vanilla iced coffee.

I feel this is so cliche and corny but bear with me here okayyy?? I just feel like I’ve finally found something I can be good at. This may sound over dramatic but I seriously have no clue where I’d be if I never posted my stories or got an account. Obviously my man Jeremy has helped me out too, but that’s different because he doesn’t know I exist ahaha.

I don’t know, just thank you for supporting me💗

Every time I rant now I’ll give you a picture of Jeremy to thank you. Here’s one of my favorites for you ;)

Also if we aren’t friends and you wanna be besties dm me I can be your bestie🙋🏼‍♀️🙋🏼‍♀️ Don’t even be embarrassed you can fully just say “let’s be besties” and I’ll say yes. You can literally tell me anything.

#bee’s thoughts #thank you #🫶

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ayayabaroque · 1 year

Text

Abstained.

Okay. I’ve been reading way too much angst, and I’ve been listening to breakup songs for only God knows how long. CW: Angst, Use of Scara’s real name, Sumeru archon quest spoilers, i want someone to die so one of you has to go. Heavily inspired by Kung ‘Di Rin Lang Ikaw ‘nd Sa Ngalan Ng Pag-ibig and some of the bold sentences are rough translations of the lyrics, since I don’t know the accurate translations.

If you aren’t the reason to love, would I stop my heart from getting hurt?

Kunikuzushi was beyond saving, he was impossible to love. His own creator abandoned him, his only friends left him, and being faced with his own immortality, he knows that you’ll leave him too.

You believe that through your flaws of mortality, you would do you best to stay by his side for eternity.

But as he drifts of into the company of another, a scholar by the name of Haypasia, you question if he is worth the trouble of loving.

“Scaramouche, it’s been only 2 days after your most recent visit to Haypasia, would it be possible to ask of you one thing?”

He merely scoffs, dismissing the idea of resting, if it meant showing affection to his most devoted follower.

It is a true wonder you haven’t left him yet, despite how inconsiderate he is towards your personal feelings.

If it isn’t you, then it won’t be at all, I won’t hope for us anymore.

The Doctor offered you revenge, wealth, and power, all you had to do was to betray Kunikuzushi.

But you couldn’t bring yourself to put him in a much more dire situation, thus you decline.

Yet do you truly feel this way about him?

“You never truly cared for me, Haypasia has been showing her dedication and devotion to me ever since she made contact with her new-found God.”

Scaramouche seethes, venom spilling from his mouth

“If I were you, I’d do exactly as Haypasia, in hopes to win over my lover again.”

I’m shivering and I can’t move, my heart can’t force myself to love you anymore.

It proves true that the snow-lain land of Snezhnaya is not suit to your tastes,

but if it means staying as far away as humanly possible from Scaramouche, you’d go through whatever length to ensure his happiness.

To that of Haypasia, and not you.

If the frostbite and cold doesn’t take you, then may the fake god abrew in Sumeru take your life.

You once believed that you would take any step toward a brighter future for you and Kunikuzushi, but it seems near impossible to achieve that, if he is in the glory of another.

Do you truly love him now?

If it won’t be us in the end, I’ll stop myself from loving someone else.

If you couldn’t love another, you might as well die with the vows you’ve made to each other.

That way, when he succeeds in entering godhood, he won’t remember you anymore.

But if I don’t remember who we were, who’ll cry in the morn for us?

Before setting foot into Sumeru, you haven’t even heard of Irminsul.

Much less known that Irminsul contains the memories of everyone, which holds little to no regard from Scaramouche, until he caught wind of what recently happened after his downfall.

“[First], pronounced dead. I believe you have no use for them anyway, since Haypasia is your one and only follower, am I correct?”

Il Dottore, 2nd of the Harbingers, announcing your death to the former Harbinger has his mouth agape and speechless.

He believes that it is all his fault, his status, his arrogance, and his vile nature that caused your death.

Shortly after his defeat, he was assigned to carry out a task for Lesser Lord Kusanali and the Traveler.

Enter Irminsul and attempt to find more information on the Descenders of Teyvat. In his subconscious, his new-found information on the erasure of existence from the Traveler has his full attention. Perhaps, if he never met you, if he never tainted his self-image, you could live happily together with him in his next life. With the knowledge of Irminsul, he begins infiltrating its memories in hopes to have his soul reborn into your arms again. I’m letting go, since I can’t move anymore. But would I stop your heart to yearn for another? He succeeded in erasing The Balladeer’s existence of this world, but it was in vain. You couldn’t hang on to the tiny bit of life you have anymore, and withered away from his grasp. In all the years of his life, he has never experienced such grief in his life. His mind though hazy, tries to cling on to what little memory he has of you in the back of his mind. Kunikuzushi was impressed to say the least, you really did love him, even if he wouldn’t love you anymore. At the cost of the recognition as a God, the price would be his only source of hope and warmth. “Until our end of time, until our hearts feel nothing anymore, even if forever ends, I’ll wait for you, in the name of love.”

ngl i still dont understand how to post on tumblr and the last post i have is march ‘22 ang sarap siguro ng feeling na mahal na mahal ka nya tapos gagawin nya ang lahat para sayo, dwow👍

#ayayawillwrite #genshin angst #genshin imagines #genshin impact #genshin #wanderer #wanderer angst #scara x reader #scara angst #scaramouche #scaramouche angst #scaraxopm sadboi songs ftw #tite #genshin spoilers #ok #i hate midterms #i love xmas break

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stardustdiiving · 1 month

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Hi!! Hello!! I've just been passively listening to your blog for a bit and I just have to say. auauua you actually giving Nahida the spotlight she deserves is so refreshing! I love Wanderer in all his forms, but the lack of character studies/general brainworms about Nahida is so sad to me D: She's an archon!! You'd think people would talk about her more in the general fandom... Idk, personally, she's a pretty relatable character in the way of having to become an adult for the people around her (in her case, becoming a knowledgeable god despite having the mind of a child for the sages) like!! She is smart, but she is a KID. Haven't a fair number of people experienced that? And justifying the behavior too- like I (personally) think that Nahida tries to make the horrendous behavior of generations of sages seem Less Bad bc 'oh, they were probably so lost without the Greater Lord.. and I wasn't what they were looking for' Because admitting that you were hurt for a reason that was entirely NOT YOUR FAULT actually feels Really Bad. LOCAL BABY GOD IS RELATABLE TO THE MASSES!! (Could be a bad take, I do need to rewatch the Sumeru quests.. it's been so long.. my little guys..) BEFORE I GET TOO SIDETRACKED UH. yeah. Thank you for the Radish Thoughts they are really really appreciated by someone who also thinks Nahida is Pretty Neat!

WTF UR GONNA MAKE ME CRY IM SO GLAD. I love Nahida I’m glad it resonates. Tbh i think that take isn’t bad at all bc I actually also had a similar interpretation of her downplaying her neglect in the same way she downplays her worth as an Archon bc obviously there’s overlap between the two

Assortment of screenshots I feel go along with this , starting with how the Sages’ treatment of her is discussed textually:

When we learn she’s being imprisoned for the first time in the AQ, Nahida’s response is quite literally her justifying why the Sages’ decision makes “rational” sense because (like u said!) she’s not Rukkhadevata and by extension isn’t a “real enough archon”

Nahida internalizes the “my existence has little meaning” to the point she justifies beating herself up as an inferior archon over Dunyazard’s presumed death as “rationally observing the distance between herself and a real archon”:

And also the first thing she does when we set her free is apologize for letting the Sages neglect her. We also get her basically saying she was never angry about what was done to her until she was being rescued:

She goes onto say she’s going to punish the sages harshly, but then it’s noted by multiple characters they think she wasn’t harsh enough with her punishment. Which is a haha aww Nahida doesn’t have it in her to be harsh. But it’s also like haha aww. Nahida doesn’t have it in her to be harsh even to the people who dehumanized her and kept her in a cage for generations Zjsjmxkxjnsj

Nahida as a person seems to be someone who clings to a sense of personal control , my main reasoning for this is it’s directly stated in her character stories the reason she gives up her Gnosis to Dottore for information would be to have more knowledge and therefore control over a situation:

With one Gnosis still in her hands, Nahida could not help but hesitate. She barely knew more about the Gnoses than she knew the "truth" of the world. […] Shaking hands in bargain means an equal compromise for both sides, a far cry from any victory. On the other hand, turning down the bargain indicates a certain type of "ignorance," which, obviously, would more easily invite a loss of control. Thus did the "God of Wisdom" instantly find her answer...

So her rationalizing her own neglect or Anything Bad That Is Done to Her to me is a way of asserting a sense of control over her situation when she has none, just as u said!

#nahida #asks #cool asks #fandomferns #i did not mean to reply to this with a read more length essay but umm ❤️ radish #I also find Nahida relatable but for me primarily it’s just she will say things and it feels very similar to how I articulate or think abou #things. v funny. she is in my Mind #but also yes I love her Rationalization of Trauma coping mechanism #tragic freaking vegetable

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izvmimi · 7 months

Text

Matchlit - Chapter 7

cw: none.

Masterlist

You’re back in the bathroom again, but this time you’re alone and the walls feel like they’re closing in on you and your best friends are pounding on the wall and your heart is pounding even faster in your chest and you can’t believe what you heard at all. Not for a second.

Is it real after all? How can he be engaged and yet have just kissed you? How could he not have told you? Aren’t you friends? How could he embarrass you like this? What does it all mean?

“___, come out, it’s okay!”

“Or just let us in there with you, please! It’s fine.”

You hear them but it doesn’t register. All you can think of is the fact that Katsuki’s fiancée is a person that exists in the world, a real person, someone whose future husband you kissed, someone who is in a spot that you… covet? Covet is not the word for it… Covet is not the right word for what you feel in your chest, even if it’s technically true.

You’re trying not to cry but the tears have started to cloud your vision anyway. You hug your knees, and try not to make a loud sound because it’s embarrassing and it’s your best friend’s birthday and who the fuck does he think he is to kiss you and plan to marry someone else?

Lili groans loudly and storms off, but you can tell June is still outside the door, pulled between the two of you. You can hear Lili call Izuku’s name, and you wonder what exactly she expects him to do. Take the door down? This is her apartment. Stop Katsuki from leaving? He has the right to do as he pleases. A kiss is not a promise.

You can hear June slump down to a sitting position outside the door. She doesn’t say anything, there’s nothing to say, so the two of you sit, separated by a door in silence.

---

A million things run through Katsuki’s mind as his legs carry him away from the party faster than he can process his own thoughts. Should he really be dragging her so far away, grip tight on her fragile, never-worked-a-day-in-her-life wrist? Or should he be explaining himself to you instead, owning up to this awful outcome that isn’t his fault but sure as hell is his responsibility?

Does he have anything to apologize for?

“Katsuki!” Kasumi yells.

He can’t hear her over how fast his heart is pounding in his chest. Now is not the right time. He’s not ready. He can’t hurt you. He can’t, he can’t, he can’t.

“ Katsuki! ”

“Kacchan, let go of her!”

He couldn’t hear Kasumi but he hears Izuku calling from behind him and suddenly he’s snapped back into reality. His hold on her wrist lets go and when he finally looks at her, really takes her in, she’s flushed and angry, wrenching her arm away from his hold and holding it in her other hand. She holds it limp and Lili, close behind, runs over to her, tossing Katsuki an exasperated look for a split second, before she goes into medic mode. Kirishima stands for a moment, gives Izuku a look, then nods, and turns back into the apartment to make sure things don’t get too out of control.

“Hey, sorry to introduce myself like this, but I’m Lili, Katsuki’s friend, and it’s my birthday today, haha, but let me just take a quick look.”

Izuku pulls Katsuki away from the two women as Lili confirms that Kasumi is just bruised but not severely injured, then holds him by the shoulders.

“Okay, I’ve been nice for long enough, but you have to act normal,” Izuku finally says, sternly, and Katsuki realizes that if even Deku has switched to an assertive tone, he must really be falling off the deep end.

“Fuck… I’m sorry,” Katsuki finally says out loud. The words come out quiet at first but he repeats the apology again, louder, as he realizes it’s true. He is so, so sorry about this mess. Truly. But the person he really wants to apologize to is still locked in a bathroom, unwilling to face the outside world again for the time being.

“You better be,” Kasumi hisses as she takes her arm back gently from Lili. Running her hand through her long locks to resettle herself she stands a bit taller now. She’s in a silky red dress that hugs her figure perfectly, a tasteful slit up the side of her thigh, and dramatic eye makeup, and it’s clear she intended to impress. She does - she is striking, and Katsuki looks red-faced and distraught still, breathing just a little heavier as he tries to quiet down his panic.

“I asked you specifically not to-”

“Then when !” Kasumi nearly shrieks back. Lili looks between the two of them, and then at Izuku. Izuku nods, then stands between the two betrothed, turning his back to Katsuki as he introduces himself just as charmingly as you’d expect the current chart favorite to.

“Hi! I’m Izuku Midoriya. Thank you for coming to my girlfriend and I’s birthday party! We didn’t expect you today, but any guest of Kacchan’s-”

“I didn’t fucking invite her!”

Izuku pauses just for a second, seemingly unfazed, but with his eyes now closed and a nearly incomprehensible flicker of irritation on his face, Katsuki can sense he’s getting irritated and quiets down for just a moment.

“Any guest of Kacchan’s is welcome.”

Lili gives Katsuki a piercing look and Katsuki folds his arms over his chest. If there were any credibility left for him, it’s absolutely gone now, and the worst part of it is that it’s for good reason. She’s right to look at him that way.

Kasumi smiles and politely shakes Izuku’s outstretched hand, then looks over at Katsuki.

“Are all your friends this charming?” Kasumi asks, raising an eyebrow at Katsuki. He scowls at her and Lili bristles for a moment but keeps focus.

“So, if I heard correctly, you said fiancée earlier?” Lili asks. Izuku steps finally from between Katsuki and Kasumi and stands by Lili while Lili starts her line of questioning in the gentle yet assertive way she’s picked up at her clinic. “Since when?”

“Mind your business, Chatty-” Katsuki starts but the green of Izuku’s eyes is starting to shift when he glares at him and Katsuki lets his complaint fall to a grumble. Kasumi seems delighted to talk finally, and grins widely.

“It’s been a couple weeks, but it’s been something in the works for a few months.”

“Ah,” is all Lili responds with. She pauses for a moment, pondering, then asks Katsuki, “so you’ve known Kasumi for a while, haven’t you?”

“Absolutely not.” Katsuki replies. Lili and Izuku look towards Kasumi again and she nods.

“It’s true, we’ve only recently met. The arrangement is between our parents.”

“And you’re okay with that?” Izuku asks, his surprise poorly masked.

“No.” Katsuki says firmly. Kasumi rolls her eyes then folds her own arms over her chest, mirroring Katsuki.

“I am perfectly fine with this arrangement, however odd this might sound.” Kasumi replies. Lili tenses but tries to keep her polite smile on her face. It’s not how she wanted to spend her birthday, and she’s not exactly sure what she feels about this girl already, but she tries to reserve her judgment for the time being. Izuku appears to have reached his limit by now, and takes Lili’s hand abruptly.

“Kasumi, would you like to join us for a slice of cake?” he asks politely. Lili glances at him as if to ask him what he’s doing but he has that smile again. “We have guests for our birthday and we wouldn’t want to keep them waiting in suspense!”

Izuku sounds like he’s talking to Kasumi but it’s a warning to Bakugou and an explanation to Lili. The latter nods and laughs although the last thing she wants to do is bring this vixen back to torment her friend with her presence.

“We have plenty of cake, yes. Come on in!”

Katsuki is in disbelief by the sudden turn of events. Even Lili seems to be giving in to Kasumi. Everyone seems to, and he cannot bring himself to go back into that apartment with the woman he actually loves and break her heart further.

“I’m out,” he says.

Izuku gives him a look but Katsuki has already turned his back and is halfway down the hall. Kasumi watches him go for a moment and seems pensive; Lili expects her to go follow him and is thankful that this drama will finally end, but Kasumi smiles widely, flashing rows of bright, white teeth.

“I would love to meet everyone!”

Katsuki freezes for a moment in his stride, but resumes his pace.

---

What feels like ages later, Lili returns to your makeshift hideout and by now, her voice has just enough defeat in it that you almost feel bad for her, rather than yourself, and you steel yourself enough to remember that you are not so weak that you would crumble over a man.

Even if he is your best friend. Even if you harbor such strong feelings for him.

“You don’t have to stay if you don’t want to,” Lili whispers through the door. “... I had to be nice so um, she ’s coming here, but I can sneak you out if you don’t want to interact,” she whispers. She doesn’t give you much more backstory than that, not tonight, and when you finally, with a sucked in breath, open the door to see her frowning, brown eyes pitiful and unsure, you accept that you probably don’t want to hear any more than that.

“It’s fine,” you reply as your friends slip into the room and lock the door behind them.

Your voice comes out raspier than you hope and Lili sighs, then pulls you in for a hug. June pulls in as well and you remember that even if you lose one friend in the pursuit of more love, you’ll always have enough platonic love to fill you up.

---

“Thanks for staying,” Lili whispers to you a few moments later. You nod, swallowing down the last of your mixed drink (Sero’s ‘Beauty and the Beast’ special cocktail, which Katsuki prior to leaving had told him should be more aptly named the ‘Dumb and Dumber’), and force a smile.

“Why would I leave?” you reply. “It’s your birthday.”

Lili offers you an understanding smile and squeezes your forearm gently. Your slightly tipsy gaze is now loosely fixed on Kasumi, who’s already made one round of introductions through you and all her friends, and is so charismatic she seems to glow in the corner of the room where she stands, barely obscured despite being crowded by your curious friends and acquaintances. On the side, you can see Mineta trying his way to force himself into the circle with no avail, and it would be hilarious if not for the fact that you’re still trying to ignore the pain in your chest.

“She’s really pretty,” you offer, flatly and Lili scoffs.

“So? You are too.”

You laugh and nudge her.

“What?!”

“I didn’t mean it that way,” you reply.

“Okay, but I did,” Lili replies to your amusement. The two of you leave your spot on the counter and fall onto the couch. June has disappeared by now in an apologetic hurry, tending to some other issue that neither of you are particularly keen to worry about.

“I’m surprised he left,” you murmur finally, pulling your knees to your chest. The music is quiet enough by now to mask your voices as you talk in public, but not enough to make it hard to hear, and you rest your head on your friend’s shoulder, letting the alcohol confuse you further.

Lili scoffs.

“I think he knows he messed up,” she offers. There’s a small pause as your heart thumps. “But I will say I don’t think he genuinely meant to hurt you.”

You glance up at her.

“Are you on Katsuki’s side, Lili?” you ask, with fake sternness in your voice. She tenses immediately, sputtering in shock.

“I would genuinely stab him if you asked me to. And enjoy it.”

You laugh, and as you look up finally, you catch Kasumi watching you carefully. It’s for just a split second that your gaze connects, and she smiles brightly but it’s warm the way dry ice sears your skin at the touch. Your stomach turns and you look away first, then you regret backing down.

Lili notices your sudden movement and looks in the same direction you were but Kasumi is back to working the room. Denki looks practically enamored with her, unable to hide it and Jirou’s frown is deep enough that she looks like a sad clown until Momo pulls her away and thrusts another slice of cake in her face.

Maybe you imagined the look. It’s easy to demonize the person who you think is taking something from you, but you remind yourself that you’ve never really had him, now have you? Or if you had, time has passed and that window of opportunity has closed. Perhaps it’s good for you, and you’ll move on. Kasumi is not particularly sweet, but she’s undeniably captivating to look at and she showed so much interest in your first interaction that you can’t find fault with her.

You must have imagined the animosity in her gaze. There’s no way she could know if even Katsuki doesn’t really know, and Lili truly never said anything to her as she swore to you.

“I’m going to get another drink,” you say, suddenly and Lili looks at you in surprise, but nods. “Do you want anything?” you add, and she shakes her head no. As you rise, Izuku appears and takes your place, pulling her into his lap. You smile as you look back, thinking perhaps you won’t let your falsely started romance disrupt hers.

Despite this, as you turn the corner to the kitchen, you can still feel eyes at your back and you know that again, they are an entrancing, regal shade of purple.

#bakugou x reader #bakugou katsuki x reader #bakugou x reader imagine #thoughts: bakugou #daydreams: bnha #mimi writes: matchlit

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whumpsday · 1 year

Text

Kane & Jim #50: On Your Own

Chronological masterlist / Writing order masterlist

content: angst, parental death, kids grappling with newfound orphanhood, religious angst, pandemic, discussion of foster system, very vaguely referenced past child abuse, flashback to hospital setting

takes place 4 years before You're Mine Now. the hardest time of Jim’s life pre-Kane. he doesn’t like to think about it very much. this isn’t really ‘whump’, more ‘angst’, but i hope you enjoy it anyway.

@amonthofwhump March Trope-A-Thon Day 5: Sickfic / Fevers / Cold/Flu / Headache / Blankets & A Hot Drink

Jim kind of expected someone to come after the funeral. A social worker or orphanage owner or however this shit worked. Did orphanages still exist, or was that just in movies? He never thought he'd have to think about it.

But no one came.

Well, people came. His friends, Mom and Dad's friends, Rabbi Geller, other people from temple, Liz's friends' parents, even Liz's teacher from the elementary school. They brought food, and said I'm sorry for your loss and May their memory be a blessing so many times that the words lost all meaning.

It felt like the kind of thing Mom would tell him to just be polite for, but Mom wasn’t here. Mom would never be here again. It still didn’t feel real.

But that wasn't what he meant. Someone was supposed to come get them, right? Because he was only fifteen, and Liz was only eleven, and they didn’t have any other family. Right?

Someone was going to come help him, right?

Liz was a nightmare. Jim felt like he didn’t even have a second to think. He was used to watching Liz- Mom and Dad worked long hours, after all- but now it was all time, especially because they hadn’t gone back to school yet.

She was throwing another tantrum. Jim felt like they were only getting worse. He cringed as a plate flew into the wall, shattering with a crash barely audible above Liz’s incessant screeching.

“Lizzie, you gotta stop. You’re too old for this.” Jim fought off his pounding headache as he got right in front of her, blocking her as she reared her arm back to throw another.

“No I’m not!” she yelled, darting to the side and throwing the plate as hard as she could, shattering it against the wall. Tears streamed down her face.

Jim let out an exasperated groan. “Stop! Yes you are! Go to your room!”

“You can’t tell me what to do!” Liz ran back into the kitchen.

Fuck, she was gonna get another plate. Jim ran after her, blocking the cabinet. “Yes I can! I’m in charge now, go to your room!”

“I hate you!” Liz shouted. She kicked him in the shin before running up the stairs, slamming her door.

Jim rubbed his temple, his headache only getting worse. He thought about breaking into Mom and Dad’s drink. It wasn’t like anyone was around to stop him. But he didn’t.

Instead, he fought back tears and grabbed the broom and dustpan. He was tired of crying. Just when he was finishing cleanup, Liz appeared at the top of the stairs, holding her bear tight in her arms. She hadn’t carried that thing around since she was 6, but things were different now, he figured.

“You calmed down yet?” he asked.

“Sorry.” She squeezed her bear tighter, avoiding eye contact.

Jim shrugged, dumping the last of the shatters in the trash. “It’s cleaned up now anyway.” His eyes drifted over to the stove. “How about I make some hot chocolate?”

“But it’s summer,” Liz protested half-heartedly.

“Who cares? We’re sitting shiva,” Jim pointed out. “Do you not want hot chocolate?”

“...I want it.” She sat herself on the couch.

This was something he could do without fucking up, at least. He barely even had to think about it, just focus on the steps. Set some whole milk over heat. Cocoa powder, sugar, a dash of vanilla, and the part people always miss: chocolate chips and a little bit of cinnamon.

He poured in some half-and-half to make it extra creamy and cool it enough that Liz wouldn’t burn herself, and topped it with some mini marshmallows before bringing the mugs out, handing one to Liz.

“Thanks,” she mumbled, sipping immediately without blowing on it.

“You’re gonna burn your mouth, stupid,” Jim chided lightheartedly.

Liz rolled her eyes. “No I’m not ‘cause you always put extra milk in after.”

“Because you never give it a minute to cool down!” He ruffled her hair. “No more throwing shit, okay? Or if you need to, use stuffed animals or something. Why’d you do that, anyway?”

Liz was quiet for a long moment, sipping her drink. “I dunno,” she mumbled.

“How about next time you wanna do that, come get me. We can make it into a game, yeah? We could play catch or something. Not with plates,” he suggested.

“It’s not supposed to be a game.” She took another sip, eyes too stormy for an eleven year old.

Jim took the blanket off the back of the couch and draped it around Liz’s shoulders. “Okay. Come get me anyway. We’ll figure it out.”

No one from the government came. Even after a week. Even after they were done sitting shiva and Jim made Liz start going back to school, another nightmare of an argument.

He wished he could’ve asked Mom or Dad for advice. Liz almost always listened to them, at least about the important stuff. It felt like someone was tearing a fresh shred in his heart every time he missed them.

After he finished walking her, he turned and made his way to temple on a whim. He only went to temple a couple times a year, on the holidays when Mom wanted everyone to go as a family. He hadn’t even brought his kippah. But he doubted anyone would really care, and he needed advice, and it was this or a teacher, even if Jim hadn’t talked to the guy since his bar mitzvah. Before the funeral, that is.

“Hey, Rabbi Geller.”

“Good morning, James.” The rabbi gave him a sad smile. “How are you and your sister holding up?”

“Uh, y’know.” He shrugged awkwardly. “I was wondering if I could talk to you for a sec?”

“Of course. Let’s go to my office for some privacy.” The rabbi led him to the office and gestured for him to sit. “What can I do for you?”

“I’m not here for anything, uh, spiritual or whatever,” he clarified quickly. “I just needed some advice about something. Um, is someone gonna... come get us?”

The rabbi’s brows furrowed in concern. “No one’s come to get you? Who is it you and your sister will be staying with? I know Beth said she didn’t have much family...”

“Mom and Dad were both wards of the state or whatever,” Jim said awkwardly. “Kinda thought we would be too, now. But, uh... no one came. I wasn’t really sure what to do. Plus Liz is throwing things and refusing to go to school and stuff.”

“I’m so sorry you’ve been left floundering. I should have been there to see to it.” The rabbi sighed. “Things have been hectic. This flu’s taken quite a toll. It’s lucky you even caught me here. If you ever need something and can’t find me, the funeral home’s likely where I am.”

Jim knew he was one of the lucky ones. He and Liz both got sick too, but they recovered. It was no wonder they all got it, with Mom being a nurse and all. He didn’t really feel lucky right now.

“The government... tends to overlook this town,” the rabbi continued. “No one wants to come here, even during the day when it’s safe. I can certainly get in touch with people for you and make sure someone gets you two set up in a foster home. I’d just like you to think about your options first.”

“Options?” Jim questioned.

“James, do you remember your bar mitzvah two years ago? I sure do. You were very well-spoken.” The rabbi gave him a kind smile.

“Uh-huh.” He kicked his feet, unsure where this was going.

“A bar mitzvah is when a boy becomes a man, as we discussed. Now, I certainly don’t believe a thirteen year old boy to be a man in the modern day, nor a fifteen year old boy. But you are the man of the house now, and you’re going to have to make some adult decisions no one should have to make at your age.”

The rabbi sighed again, his breath full of grief. “The foster system isn’t known for its kindness. I’m not sure how much your parents have told you of their own experiences. Children your age aren’t likely to be adopted, and you’ll be spit out three years later and possibly separated from your sister. Since no one’s come to claim you, one option you have is to continue living where you are. Your parents managed to buy a house here, and you won’t get much from its sale, if you’re able to sell it at all- again, this town is not most people’s destination."

Mom and Dad didn’t like to talk about their childhoods much, and Jim never pried. He figured that if they didn’t want him to know, he didn’t want to know either.

“This isn’t a decision you have to make right away. You’re grieving. Someone from the state may come to collect you yet. Both options have their benefits, and I don’t want to force you into either one of them. Just know that I’m here if you need anything I can provide, and that God is watching over you,” the rabbi said warmly.

Jim could barely hear anything over Liz’s crying and the sounds of the hospital. One of the nurses was trying to pry her off of Dad’s body, but he was too focused on Mom to pay much attention.

She wasn’t conscious anymore. Her last words before she fell asleep were ‘I love you’, and that scared him, because he knew she probably did that on purpose.

He prayed and prayed, despite his unsure feelings of God’s existence. It was the only thing he could do. Tears streamed down his face as he offered more and more words to the higher power Mom believed in with her whole heart, his voice still raspy from his own recently-gotten-over flu.

He wasn’t sure whether it was the ringing in his ears or the flatline until a nurse pushed him out of the way.

“I don’t really believe in that stuff anymore,” Jim muttered.

“Yes, I imagine you might not. That’s perfectly normal.” The rabbi gave him a pat on the shoulder. “Still, I’m certainly real, and I’m here for whatever you need.”

Jim knew that didn’t include taking them in. Rabbi Geller had four kids of his own, and no one lived here if they had a lot of money.

“Thanks, Rabbi. Um, thanks for the advice. And for not just calling the government on me and letting me pick and whatever. I’ll think about it.”

Liz was being a brat again after Jim walked her home from school. Before Mom and Dad died, she only had bad days every once in a while, but now it was every single day. Wild mood swings where she’d get angry and even violent, before she calmed down and apologized tearfully.

Part of him, the part he’d never dream of voicing, almost wanted to take Rabbi Geller’s offer to help them get placed in a foster home in the hopes they do get separated. He didn’t know how much more of this he could take.

But he knew he didn’t actually want that.

“I’m sorry,” Liz said, helping him tidy up the living room after she’d finished trashing it. As if reading his mind, she asked, “You’re not gonna go too, right?”

Maybe she could just sense how irritated he was. But it was right then and there his mind was made up.

Jim smiled at her. “I’m not going anywhere.”

taglist to be added in reblog!

#amow tropeathon 2023 #sickfic #kane and jim #whump #my writing #angst #emotional whump #minor character death #parental death #whump writing

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