#ignore this it’s embarrassing but i wanted to vent somewhere he won’t see it. anyway | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

tobiosmilktea · 3 years

Note

hiii can i request tsumu, kenma, oikawa, and kuroo where they’re in a secret relationship and the reader feels like they’re hiding her bc they’re ashamed of her ? like a hurt too comfort type of thing? thank u bb 🥺🥺

- 🍒

secret relationships w/ atsumu, kenma, oikawa, and kuroo

a/n: i have so many angst requests,, yall must like getting hurt 💀 also this wasn’t as angsty as i thought it was gonna be since im going through writers block yet again and i can not handle pain rn (also not proofread, so read with caution lmao)

— m. atsumu

it honestly surprised you at first, the way someone like miya atsumu returning your feelings the moment you told him you liked him near the start of the school year

there wasn’t that instant gratification though, knowing that one of inarizaki’s golden boys still felt out of your reach

despite being in a relationship with you, it wasn’t like anyone knew of it besides osamu and your closest friend

of course you didn’t really mind as you’ve always thought couples who were obnoxious with their relationships 24/7 and constantly making out in the hallways wasn’t your cup of tea either, so you get why atsumu wanted to keep it a secret

besides, with a guy so popular like him, you really just thought he was sparing you from the harassment (not that it would be bad if all the girls crushing on him new)

you get that he was just trying to protect you, and yet the more you thought of it, the more than it was simply just an assumption and you really didn’t know why your relationship was kept secret

it wasn’t like either of you would get backlash in any way, so what was the problem?

you weren’t exactly the type to be the most insecure either

sure, you were aware of the flaws you had, but it wasn’t something you were ashamed of as you learned to get used to it

yet it’s hard to fully love yourself when your boyfriend isn’t even comfortable with the fact that no one knows you two are even together

you hated jumping to conclusions, but you couldn’t help but to think the worst case scenario—was he ashamed of being with you?

you honestly thought the idea was impossible

if he was seriously ashamed of the thought of being with you in public, why would he even waste all those months dating? were all those dates and nights sneaking out to see each other for nothing?

it was like this for weeks with the way your own thoughts sabotaged you as you stood next to him during lunch

in moments like this in school, surrounded by your classmates and acquaintances, you and atsumu were only friends who sat next to each other occasionally and shared conversations that only friends would have

only friends

god, you hated the way that atsumu wouldn’t even look at you the way that he would when you two are alone

was he that embarrassed to be with you?

you didn’t want six months of all your hard work and effort of making time to be with him for nothing,, you had to do something about it

everyday, you, atsumu, and osamu would walk to school together with osamu typically walking ahead of you and your boyfriend

most couples would hold hands as they walked together, but atsumu had made it explicitly clear as the closer they get to school the farther they had to be from each other to avoid suspicions

thinking of it now, it sounded wrong to begin with and you had no idea why you even agreed to do such a thing

the school was close, maybe a block away and instead of slowing down your pace to create a gap between you and atsumu, you stubbornly stayed next to him to which he flickered you a weird look

he shrugged it off but the moment you two passed the gates and into campus, you slipped your hand into his

without missing a single beat atsumu immediately pulled his hand away from you with a look on his face that held all the questions running through his head at that very moment

“what are you doing?” he asks, almost in a harsh whisper

a frown melted upon your expression at how quickly he pulled away, almost as if he was disgusted by you. “i um, didn’t know you hated the thought of people seeing us together so badly.”

you didn’t know where all your strength went as it disappeared the moment you needed it the most

yet as you were about to walk away, atsumu tugs at your wrist lightly and pulls you into his embrace—his warmth and comforting scent of chamomile from saved you from the embarrassment that was tainting your cheeks red

“no, no it’s not that,” he mutters, lips tickling your forehead. “i just wanted to keep you to myself a bit longer.”

— k. kenma

you honestly weren’t surprised at the fact that kenma wanted this relationship to be kept secret

he never seemed like the type to be in a relationship let alone get the attention of being in one in the first place, yet it irked you to the core

it was fine at first; acting like you two were just friends while at school or at volleyball practice and it wasn’t at all weird or out of the ordinary

maybe that’s why you were okay with it in the first few months of your relationship with kenma as you were always near him the majority of the time

yet you constantly had to fight the urge to not be so touchy with him from wanting to hold his hand to leaning your head onto his shoulder—you often had to stop yourself especially in front of your friends and his teammates

you were good at keep secrets, but it was absolute hell not being able to even tell kuroo considering you always hung out with him too (it was a given obviously but you digress)

kuroo is a bit curious in his closest friend’s antics so his constant teases of how you and kenma would be such a cute couple annoyed you to your core

he laughs as if you and kenma being together would be absolutely impossible and wouldn’t happen in a million years, and yet here you two were, pretending to laugh at his jokes and agreeing and it would be, in fact, impossible

as mentioned before, you’re more annoyed at keeping your relationship secret rather than angry

your actions were more abrupt and cold rather than your usual warm self and kenma definitely noticed

despite his usual calm and collected expression that he has on a daily basis, it covered up his own emotions of blatant insecurity and worry that you were losing your feelings and losing them quick

the last thing kenma wanted was for everything that happened between the two of you to be wasted over his own fear of being judged for being with you

you were his first in everything and he certainly wasn’t going to let you become his first heartbreak either

he worried about this for a few days, overthinking while he played video games with kuroo, lev, and yaku that they noticed how quiet he was being over the call

it was then did he impulsively asked kuroo to go on a separate voice channel with him just so he could blurt out, “i’m dating (y/n).”

and to his surprise, all his best friend said was: “yeah, i know. (y/n) told me.”

“what? why?” kenma asked with confusion evident on his visage

“she had no one else to go to vent.” kuroo answers, his amused laugh echoing through kenma’s headphones. “don’t worry, i won’t tell anyone.”

“thanks, but... i think (y/n)’s angry at me and i don’t know what to do.”

“she told me that she was getting tired of keeping your relationship a secret. she asked me if you felt embarrassed or even ashamed of being with her.” he explained.

confusion and a bit of worry washed over kenma as his words suddenly faltered, “i could never be ashamed of being with her,”

“then i guess, you should tell her that.”

“what should i do?”

his best friend lets on a smirk (not that kenma could even see it, anyway), “i’m so glad you asked.”

you weren’t exactly sure what you expecting to be honest

you knew there was something going on between kenma and kuroo as if they were planning something intricate, but you weren’t bothered to even ask

perhaps you were still in that petty mindset of giving kenma the cold shoulder after having to keep your relationship on hold all the time that stopped your curiosity

sure, it was a bit childish, but you were planning on talking about it with kenma the moment he came back into the classroom after going off somewhere with kuroo

which by the way, where the hell were they? lunch was ending soon and you needed to talk to you boyfriend asap

the timing was almost perfect the way the thought of him entered your mind was at the same time as his familiar blonde hair walked back into the classroom with a melon bun and a canned drink in his hand from the vending machine—your favorites

“i noticed you didn’t eat lunch, so i bought you this.” he says, placing them down onto your desk.

“is this supposed to be your way of apologizing to me or something?” you mused at him.

there was a faint smile on kenma’s face when you did. this was your usual self, one that constantly smiled at him rather than deadpanned and cold. “no,” he simple put it. taking in a breath of confidence before pressing his lips on the corner of yours. “but i was hoping that would.”

with wide eyes, your eyes scanned the room to see if anyone noticed, afraid at the fact that you broke the first rule. despite being a blushing mess from a minuscule peck on your cheek, there was an inkling of confusion still evident within you, “why did you do that?”

“kuroo told me everything.”

“i knew that guy couldn’t keep a secret,” you mutter as you tried to ignore that infamous feeling of butterflies in the pit of your stomach. “i don’t think people saw, so they won’t think we’re together—”

“what if i wanted people to know we’re together?” ded asf

— o. tooru

you honestly should’ve known oikawa was going to keep this relationship between the two of you a secret since the moment he confessed his feelings to you

what else could you have expected from aoba johsai’s most popular boy wonder with an actual fanclub full of naive girls

perhaps you’ve become naive yourself considering you dealt with months of having your relationship constantly being swept under the rug, psyching yourself out that he was doing this for your sake

and you understood that

it was the reason why you even agreed to keep your relationship on the downlow considering how annoyingly notorious oikawa’s fangirls were, they wouldn’t have let you see the light of day if they were to find out

if you were in fact being honest, there was a period in time near the beginning of the relationship how cautious you were being—barely talking to oikawa unless it had to do with school, avoiding his gazes during class, and even swallowing your pride by just watching his fangirls flirt with him and there was nothing you could do about it

you honestly had to give yourself a pat on the bat for dealing with six months of this treatment

you figured it wouldn’t be that bad, especially after schools where you and oikawa could finally have alone time to yourselves, but even those times alone with him there was a lingering feeling of tension and unease

the thought of someone from school even finding out of you two being together even affected your relationship outside of school hours

you were tired of waiting outside the school gates for hours just for him to come out of volleyball practice and apologize that he couldn’t walk you home yet again

you figured that oikawa had grown far to used to seeing you waiting for him all the time that it was practically common sense that he was going to reject you again and again

you had to stop waiting for him at some point, but there was an inkling inside that for once, just for once, he would look at you with a smile so sweet that he would finally go with you

but not once has it happened

was he really that afraid of people finding out of his relationship with you that he’s willing to disregard all your hard work to even make this thing (whatever is was) to even happen?

if you were truly being honest with yourself, the only reason why this relationship is still up and active for this long is all because of you

you’re the one always asking him when he’s available during the weekends so you two could finally see each other, you’re the one always texting him first, you’re the one always being the most understanding of the situation

and yet it’s almost like oikawa isn’t even batting an eye at how difficult it has been for you

you absolutely hated jumping to conclusions and thinking of the worst case scenario and yet here you were, suddenly drowning at the possibility that the only reason why oikawa wanted a secret relationship was because he was ashamed to be with you

it was a thought that kept you up at night, tainting your optimistic thoughts of hope that this relationship would actually work out to decimate into thin air

the more is simmered in your head, the worse it became—what if his feelings that he confessed to you was a lie?

you hated overthinking

but if you really thought about it, even before you and oikawa dated, neither of you two were close. just two acquaintances in the same class that occasionally shared answers with each other just by the convenience of sitting nearby

you even went as far as believing that him dating you was just a joke, that this whole goddamn relationship was just some mindless prank just because he was bored

six months of wasted time. you were over it

the next day at school, you didn’t even look at him, you didn’t smile or even acknowledge the way he said good morning to you (as a friend does)

you figured he’s probably too dense to even notice, but he did. the usual glow you had each morning when you said good morning back to him was gone

he already missed the way your gazes would meet and how he would constantly find himself lost in your irises, but now you couldn’t even look at him in the eye

the only person who’s aware that you and oikawa were dating was iwaizumi. it was a given as who else would oikawa ramble on and on and on about how pretty you looked or how smart you are if it wasn’t his best friend?

if anything, iwa was the only guy oikawa could complain about how you were ignoring him

“maybe she’s bored of you for once,” iwaizumi cuts straight to the point. there was really no point in beating around the bush

offense was written all over oikawa’s face, utterly surprised, “how could she?”

“you can’t keep your relationship with her a secret forever, you know.” his best friend goes on to explain, “with the way things are going with you two acting like you’re nothing but acquaintances, (y/n)’s bound to lose her feelings.”

“but i don’t want her to lose feelings for me! and it’s not like i can suddenly tell all my fangirls that i’m dating someone, they’ll freak!” whines oikawa.

“why do you care about your fangirls’ feelings more than your own girlfriend? seems to me, it doesn’t even look like you care about (y/n) at all the way she’s constantly waiting for you after practice only to be rejected.”

it’s obvious iwaizumi wasn’t here to sugarcoat

“i just don’t want them to harass (y/n)...” oikawa reasons, trying to ignore the way his heart drop at iwa’s words like a gripping poison

“then that’s your job to tell those girls to back off.” he suggests, “they literally treat you like a god, surely they’ll listen if you tell them to leave her alone.”

the following day, you came across oikawa waiting outside your door, dressed in his uniform with his gaze lingering about to occupying his attention

“what are you doing here?” you ask him as you close your front door behind you. he’s probably here to break up with you, you thought to yourself

you had to force yourself to ignore the way your heart dropped at your own self-destructive thoughts

taking a deep breath as you approached him, you readied yourself for harsh news to come your way

but it never did

instead, you were greeted by oikawa’s infamous smile that made everyone at school to fall in love with this guy (including you)

he takes your hand into his, intertwining his calloused fingers that dwarfed yours in size. you don’t remember the last time you held oikawa’s hand, but it felt so familiar and warm

it was like home

you couldn’t help but feeling the ends of your lips tugging into a smile as you looked up at him, “what if someone at school sees us?”

you were expecting some kind of excuse, but all he did was shrug. “who cares?”

— k. tetsurou

when you and kuroo started going out, you certainly wasn’t expecting it to be like this

if anything, ‘going out’ would be a stretch if you count late night dates and sneaking out at midnight just to see each other as dating

it certainly wasn’t your usual definition of dating either as you yearned greatly to be able to do normal couple things with your boyfriend—like actually going out on dates during the day, eating lunch together, hell, even just holding hands!

it almost seemed laughable how normal things done in relationships were something you never even experienced with kuroo even after a few months of being together all due to him wanting to keep the relationship a secret

and if you were truly being honest with yourself, you never really understood why he wanted to keep it on the downlow in the first place

you never really questioned it as you just that much of an understanding person, but at a certain point it just wasn’t adding up

it wasn’t like he had girls going after him 24/7 despite being at the top of his class, popular, and nekoma’s volleyball captain

it wasn’t like oikawa who had an actual problem with hoards of girls surrounding him and tracking his ever move, so what was the big deal of letting your relationship public?

it was then did it hit you

the suddenly downpour of insecurity within your own loving boyfriend that you trust so much was getting the best of you

“what if he’s embarrassed to even be with me?” you contemplated in a harsh whisper to your best friend

it was in the middle of lunch and you two were sitting alone on a bench in the school’s courtyard chatting while eating—well, more like overthinking in your case while you friend just sat there and nodded

“if he actually felt that way, then he would’ve broken up with you already.” your friend stated in between bites, “besides, if i didn’t have feelings for someone, i wouldn’t put in the effort to sneak out just to see them.”

you hummed, not sure what to say as she did have a point

but could you really blame yourself for wanting an actual relationship rather than one that’s forced to go unnoticed?

“i should talk to kuroo about it...” you sigh out.

“talk to me about what?” an oh-so-familiar voice calls out to you and your friend

kuroo’s figure approaches the two of you as he give you a curt smile with hidden meanings that you weren’t able to even notice. you were too caught up in your own meddling thoughts that you also didn’t notice the way kuroo frowned slightly at the way you avoided eye contact with him

“nothing,” was all you said before standing up and throwing your trash away. “lunch is almost over so we should all get to class.” was all you said before briskly walking away

kuroo’s brows furrow in confusion as he looks over to your friend, “what’s up with (y/n)?”

“she thinks you’re too embarrassed to be with her, that’s why you hide your relationship.” she cuts straight to the point (homegirl just wants to eat her lunch in peace ffs)

“what?” your boyfriend huffs out in shock, almost offended at the fact that you out of all people would believe such a thing. “why does she think that?”

your friends shrugs, “not sure. that’s something you should be asking her, but if it were me, i would want a normal relationship as well.”

kuroo doesn’t say another word before walking away. and yet his walk quickened so he could catch up to you before you could get to class, footsteps echoing through the hallway in patters as he sees your familiar figure near your classroom

“(y/n)!” he calls out to you as you slide the classroom’s door open. it was sure to catch the attention of the rest of the students already in the classroom as you turn towards him, brows furrowed in the same confusion

as he neared you, there was almost no sign in him stopping, sending your heart beating in a frenzy as you parted your lips to tell him to slow down

but before a single syllable could even fall from your lips, your boyfriend’s own pair press against yours harshly. it was sweet like caramel and you swore everything moved in a slow motion when you suddenly realized where you two were

he stole your breath away when he pulled apart from you, eyes immediately scanning the room of his own classmates staring at him in awe

“since when were you two dating?” matsukawa asked rather loudly, it seemed that others were interested in knowing as well.

panic suddenly coursed through you as you gave kuroo a look, gravely ignoring the way yoru heart was thumping against your chest and the dozens of unanswered questions running through your head

“w-we’re not actually dati—”

“we’ve been together for a few months actually.” kuroo cuts you off, sending you a wink before entering the classroom

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mammons-tax-returns · 4 years

Note

Hey! I saw that your ask box was open, so I was wondering if I could request how the brothers (if not all then just Lucifer, Beelzebub, and Leviathan) would react to the mc defending them! Like they get into a fight and their only response was "they were talking bad about you" or something! -🥀 (Also side note, do you right for GN! MC's, or just male?)

BROTHERS REACTING TO MC DEFENDING THEM

Hey anon! Thanks so much for requesting! As for your question, This is TECHNICALLY a male reader blog, however, if it isn’t necessary, I will use he/him pronouns loosely. In other words, if the prompt doesn’t specify/depend on it being a male mc, it will be gn!mc! Hope this clears up some confusion! I’ll start putting whether a post is for a gn or male mc at the very beginning of said post from now on.

✖️GENDER NEUTRAL MC✖️

fluff, some angst :).

Lucifer was more angry than anything to hear that MC had gotten in a fight. The one thing he made sure they did was to stay out of trouble. And yet, they seem to be a magnet for chaos.

He stumbled upon the fight before it got bad, and had the demon dealt with as he accompanied MC to an empty room at RAD.

Although he seemed to be sweating out of exasperation, it was easy to tell that he was simply worried about them.

Well. Kind of.

If you look past the hour-long lecture it is.

MC tries countless times to explain themself, and yet he never fails to reroute the conversation back to his lesson on running from a demon before things get bad.

It gets to a point when MC has to put a hand over his mouth to quiet him.

Only then do they explain what happened, and what caused the fight to begin with.

First, he is absolutely shocked. And he can’t really find the right thing to say.

Then, his eyes relax, and his frown seems to melt away. He truly wants to be mad still, to teach a proper lesson. But he just can’t do it.

“It is true that humans tend not to think things through, I suppose.”

He crosses his arms and continues, “Well, I appreciate it, but I don’t need the protection.”

After ruffling their hair, he smirks a little.

“I’ll have to keep a closer eye on you if you rush into situations like that. Maybe put you on a leash.”

After things are cleared up, he finds the situation a little comical. A human defending a demon.

Luckily, the wounds aren’t bad, or else Lucifer wouldn’t have hesitated giving some sort of consequence to the MC.

Mammon is, unfortunately, not around to witness or intervene into the fight.

So when the next time he sees MC there’s a dark magenta ring around their eye, he loses it.

He wastes no time taking them home from RAD. We know he never really cared for classes anyways.

Unlike Lucifer, he wants to hear them out on the way home.

Although he physically feels himself getting butterflies in his stomach from the idea of being cared for, he clears his throat and tries to push it aside.

He knows that they’re not going to be taken away from him anytime soon. At least, not with his unintentionally vice grip on their wrist they aren’t.

And yet he can’t help but constantly flick his gaze back to them and their wounds.

We were all waiting for this one: he feels horrible that they got hurt because of him, albeit indirectly.

He puts emphasis on steering clear of hotheaded demons— or, all demons that aren’t the brothers for that matter.

“I hear ya, The Great Mammon is a gem that all of devildom should be tryna’ protect! But... You’re better off ignoring that... I mean, look at ya! All beat up and stuff... N-Not that you look bad or anything. Well... Um.”

When MC laughs at him, he’s both relieved that they’re not upset enough to sulk, and embarrassed because of his wording.

So they have to reassure him that they simply find him worth protecting— for exactly this. He cares for them, and is probably willing to protect them too.

As he’s sloppily tending to their bruises, he offers to spend the day with them.

He says its his payment, and that he would defend them when Lucifer found out about today.

But it’s more so the fact that he wishes more than anything to spend every day for the rest of his demonic life with them.

Levi is another brother who is unfortunately not around at the time due to his home schooling.

That’s why he’s one of the last people to find out about it, and he feels guilt hit him like an 18-wheeler.

The injuries are a little more severe, but nothing that would keep someone from going about their daily life. Nonetheless, Levi is demanding to be the one to patch them up.

As soon as MC cuts him off before he can start rambling, they make sure to explain the situation, i.e. “I had to defend you! Or else they would have kept talking bad about you.”

He turns red and covers his mouth, undoubtedly mumbling something about how impossibly romantic the situation was.

But after that, he shakily asks that MC tries not to talk as he takes time to let everything sink in. He still can’t believe it.

So he finds himself shakily asking questions like, “So... You just heard him and decided to-... To defend me? No one asked you to?”

For every reassuring nod that he gets, he feels his head spin a little faster.

It takes him a while, but all the wounds are properly sterilized and taken care off beneath his cold fingers.

He leans back in his seat, and blows out a slow puff of air. “MC... You’re badass. Seriously. I don’t really know what I, a demon, have done to deserve you... But... Thank you.”

The conversation ends with tears, but they couldn’t have been anything but happy.

He just can’t believe someone could go as far as to fight for his sake over a simple ill-intended comment.

Satan witnesses the event. Which... May or may not be a good thing.

MC doesn’t notice him at first. They’re too busy with the demon that has her hands on their uniform collar.

But then they see the green flames licking at their peripherals, emitting from somewhere behind them.

The demon girl in front of them seems to lose all color in her face at the sight of those same flames. She instantly drops MC to their knees, and attempts to run.

As Satan steps forward to grab the female student, he spins MC around with ease so that they won’t have to witness whatever he’s about to do.

MC doesn’t know how much time has passed due to the shock of the moment. It could be seconds or minutes. But when Satan pulls them back up to their feet, he is stone faced.

MC walks stiffly to the House of Lamentation with Satan, careful not to set anything else off in him.

The entire walk to his room is silent. The first time he speaks is when he offers a seat on his bed, nudging books aside with his foot.

He takes a deep breath before he begins diligently tending to the injuries.

“Mind explaining what happened?” He doesn’t sound angry at them, but it’s hard to tell with him.

Satan notices the hesitation in answering, so he gives a small smile. “Are you scared? You shouldn’t be. I’m just a bit... Tense, is all.”

After a moment, MC tells him the reasoning for the fight.

Satan sighs once more and places a hand on theirs. Oh to be so selfless yet still be a fragile human.

“MC... Demons talk. And it’s not always nice. It’s best to just let it go, okay? Well... Give me their name first, but I can’t have you losing a limb for me. Who knows what i’d do then.”

MC can’t completely promise that they’ll simply forget about anyone that talks badly about him, but Satan only gives a helpless sigh.

“What ever will we do with you.” He is much more relaxed than before, and his tone is affectionate.

MC doesn’t know what happened to that girl, and you figure it’s best to never ask.

Asmodeus is preoccupied with a hand mirror, but a circle of gathering demons certainly catches his attention.

He hums, interested. He’s always been one for drama.

But as he peeks over the crowd, his heart sinks impossibly deep in his body.

MC isn’t bloody, but by the looks of it, they may be very soon.

While he’s ridden with shock, a punch lands on their face, and the crowd roars. The yells overtake his own, and he can’t get through the group of people pushing and shoving.

Diavolo and Barbatos were alerted of the congregation of students, and are only just now arriving. And at the sight of them, students scatter like bugs. Leaving MC on the ground and clutching their face in pain.

Diavolo and Barbatos leave MC in the care of Asmodeus while they turn to resolve the problem with the attacker.

Asmodeus is frantic, fanning his face as he helps MC to sit up. He doesn’t know what to do first, does he ask to see the wound? But what’s the point when he doesn’t really know how to treat it in any circumstance? No one has ever socked him in the face before.

So he opts to carry them off to the infirmary, bridal style. All along the way, he gives reassuring words that seem to slightly calm the injuried MC.

“Hey, beautiful! Ughh, the nerve of some demons! I can’t even begin to— Oh right... The ice pack, I’ll get that now, so sit tight, love!”

While he allows them to press the ice to their eye themself, he is massaging his frowning face. All while he seems to be worried about all the wrong things.

“Is this type of injury permanent on humans?? Your face is too good for that!” “That low-level demon... I wish I could ruin his face a hundred times worse than what he’s doing to innocent bystanders!”

MC patiently allows him to vent, because hearing him fret of the most “Asmo” things somehow brought light to the situation and distracted from the throbbing in their face.

An hour must have passed before Asmo actually takes in the situation. “Oh, but I haven’t even asked... What in devildom were you doing with such a grotesque demon? Do I have to replace Mammon in guarding you?”

Finally, MC explains.

He’s less than shocked. Instead, he holds his own arms with an almost sympathetic smile, “Oh, darling... It’s better to talk to Lucifer about things like that... If at all. As the Avatar of Lust, It’s kind of part of the program to get nasty birds twittering about you... Fan behavior.”

MC seems less than convinced, replying with a small, “But...”

Asmo grins and puts a gentle hand on their shoulder. “It’s adorable that you’d do that for me, MC, really. I wish I could just dress you up and show you to the world, show them how special you make me feel! But please. Don’t sacrifice your complexion for a-ny-thing!”

Even Asmo can feel himself get butterflies when MC does the smallest of things for him. But taking care of that face is no joke to him.

Beel is at the gym when it happens, and is the last one to hear about it. The brothers are all discreetly trying to decide whether or not to tell him. We all know how scary he can get.

MC listens to Mammon... For some reason. And that entails avoiding Beel until the scrapes and bruises on your body heal.

Bad idea. Beel now looks like a hurt puppy, and is desperately trying to figure out what he has done.

The fateful moment of realization for him comes on a Tuesday night, less than a week after the incident. MC walks into the kitchen, searching for a late night beverage to drink and also hold against their wounds.

Beel is already there, instantly looking ashamed when he sees them.

“Beel...” MC starts, forgetting that they were supposed to be avoiding him. They stop themselves before hastily pulling their sleeves down to cover the lingering bruises.

This catches Beel’s attention to detail when it comes to others.

His eyebrows furrow a bit, and MC gulps. There was no getting out of this.

Before completely explaining everything, MC has to calm him. Because if not, he’d be checking every inch of their body for serious injuries. And even if there were none, he’d never let them leave bed for the next week. At least.

They take a deep breath and start with the people poking fun at his soft personality in such an intimidating body. And then finishing with the plan of steering clear of him to keep him from getting worried. (you leave out mammon’s part last second)

At first, his eyes are serious as he listens intently, silently going over things more than once in his head to ensure that he was understanding the story properly.

Once MC has finished, his eyes change completely. They’re soft, and concerned, but not overbearing.

MC felt a bit guilty seeing him like this.

Beel reaches out to hug them, but is hesitant, worried that they’d still be hurt. So MC has to let him know that their wounds have healed for the most part.

“MC.... Firstly, thank you.” He pulls them into a soft hug. “It makes me all happy on the inside when you do things like that.” His voice is quiet, but much too unstable. MC knew that this was a telltale sign that he was near tears.

MC doesn’t hesitate to reach up and stroke the back of his hair, feeling him bury his head into their shoulder.

“Beel? Are you okay?”

“I should be the one asking you that.”

‘you should know better’ is what he wants to say. But maybe they don’t, he thinks. Afterall, when was the last time a human with such limited magical capability was surrounded by demons 24/7?

“I just need you to promise me.” He carefully pulls back and sucks in a breath, keeping himself from imagining MC scared and hurt without him— because of him.

“Promise me that you’ll tell me about things like that first. Before you get yourself hurt, or... Or worse.” There’s another word that he has to stop himself from saying. He doesn’t know how he could handle that thought.

There, he thinks. If they didn’t know before how serious it was, now they did. Hopefully.

The brothers notice that Beel is a bit more normal than the days before, so they assume that things have been cleared up for the two.

Although they have to pretend as if they had never heard about the incident when he mentions it.

Belphie was definitely not there when it happened.

But unlike with every other brother, MC was unable to be saved immediately after having found themselves in a brawl with a low class demon.

MC silently curses as they find themselves limping through the halls of the House of Lamentation.

They’re lucky to have only gotten out of that with an injured ankle, they remind themself. It didn’t seem... Broken. But it definitely needed more medical attention than it received now— A knee-high sock they pulled off of their foot wrapped tightly around a ruler they used as a makeshift splint.

They were sure that the majority of the brothers were at school, so they’d have at least a few hours to figure out what to do.

How would the brothers react if they saw them like this? Would they feel that this was a mere inconvenience? Afterall, this may just be a bad sprain, and now look at them. They can barely limp. Much less walk. But maybe after a bit of rest, it would magically heal.

They decide to head to the music room (?), where they knew that none of the brothers would immediately run into after school.

After finding a stool to sit on, MC hisses when they bump their ankle on the floor. The throbbing seemed to shake their whole body.

“Holy shi—“

“MC?”

A sleepy drawl from the couch behind them causes them to freeze. They wanted to slap themself. Of course Belphie would be sleeping here, why didn’t they think of that?

“What’re you doing h—....” He stops.

MC can already tell that he had noticed the poor job they had done with their ankle. “I fell down the stairs. But it’s okay, I just—“

“MC. I’m not stupid. Why are you home so early, alone? If you skipped or left early, Mammon would have sniffed you out like a dog and be here, too. Spill it.”

If Belphie was good at anything (besides sleeping), it was reading emotions. There was no lying anymore. And so MC simply explained the fight and its causes.

When they turn to look at him, he simply blinks. He doesn’t seem very concerned, but he sleepily walks over to inspect their leg.

He’s careful to support their foot as he lifts their entire leg, checking the swelling.

“... Geez. You’re stupid.” His eyebrows knit together with an unknown emotion. Worry? Irritation? A mix of both? “I don’t care about what such irrelevant demons think, and you shouldn’t either.”

MC is a little speechless, but only laughs. “Yeah. It was a little dumb looking back at it. But you should have heard them, Belphie... There was no way I’d go without a fight, okay?”

Belphie smiles back. “If you wanted to prove yourself to me... There were other ways, you know?”

“Should we get Beel to help us set up the pillow fort?”

“Well, how else are you gonna heal? You can’t get better if you don’t rest with me.”

#obey me #obey me swd #obey me gender neutral mc #gn mc #fluff #fanfic #lucifer #mammon #levi #leviathan #satan #asmodeus #belphie #beel #belphegor #beelzebub

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imaginesmai · 4 years

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Tom Holland - Fawn (6)

Get READY mobsty Tom is here! This is inspired by Don’t play with fire , @peaceisadirtyword. It’s an amazing Ivar fic, take a look if you have time!

Previous parts in the general summary. Click here to read the previous parts!

Plot: after knowing the truth about Richard’s implication in Dom’s accident, you feel like breathing some air. Tom is going to try everything in his power to make everything better, but there are problems coming your way.

Warnings: blood, death, guns and violence. Creepy behaviour, not from Richard.

“Y/N I’m so sorry”

“Tom, really, it’s –“

“No, it’s my fault. I shouldn’t have told you” he rushed to explain again. “I just – needed to vent, because it has been a really difficult week. And I hadn’t – I’ve missed you. I didn’t want to worry you”

You stopped walking and Tom almost collided with your back. The busy street was as full as any Monday morning, if not even fuller. There were people running up and down, the centre of London buzzing with life. You had still a few chores to do, and after leaving the clothes in the laundry with a two hours program, you had the intention of fulfilling at least half of your task.

But the boy who had been apologizing since he left the laundry with you wasn’t making it any easier, as he was following you until you turned around. When you turned around to look at him, he had the knowing smirk on his lips. He crossed his arms and, even if you knew what he wanted was to apologise, he had a hint of mischief on his eyes.

“I’ve already told you it’s okay” you mimicked his pose. “Just overwhelmed for a second”

“I guess I’ll have to accompany you to make sure you don’t faint, or anything” he shrugged, the blush you had missed so much back.

“Boring tasks won’t overwhelm me” you chuckled. “But feel free to come along, if you don’t have anything thrilling to do”

You turned back and that time Tom walked besides you. Neither were dressed very formal, just a pair of friends that were doing daily chores. You wondered briefly if Richard would see you. His apartment was in the centre of London, and you didn’t really know if he was in there all day or got out. Either way, you were having conflicted feelings about the matter, and were sure that as soon as you closed your house’s door, you would be spiralling in thoughts about how he had lied to you.

Being with Tom seemed like a good solution to you, so you pushed yourself closer to him and excused the movement with the overcrowding streets of London, even if both you and your inner voice knew it wasn’t true.

Tom didn’t notice or didn’t want to, because he just kept walking at your pace.

“Doing chores with you can be a thrilling experience” Tom shrugged. “I can take you to a few places that might match bungee jumping”

“That doesn’t sound very legal, does it?” you teased him, knowing he was probably talking about the black market.

“Sometimes cops are involved, if that’s what you mean” Tom said, and you ignored the image of Richard. “Where are we going?”

“I have to buy some groceries, pick up two blueprints and I wanted to look a new jacket” you listed the things you thought were less embarrassing, because there was no way you were telling him that your next stop would be the pharmacy to buy pads. “Thrilling adventure, uh?”

“Can’t think of a better way to spend my Monday morning”

Besides noticing that Tom looked devilishly handsome and that his eyes had no right to be that beautiful, you noticed that it was the first time you did chores accompanied. Richard always said that doing chores was the worst thing he could think of, and you could count with one hand how many times he had asked you to buy something instead of going with you.

Your first stop was the supermarket. After picking up a cart with the excuse of Tom buying some other things, you took out your list of food you had written at home and showed it to him. It was pretty long, and it took him a while to read it; time you took to shamelessly check him out.

It was easy to forget that Tom was part of a mob, even more when he was out of the club. There you had the constant reminder of the gun on the hem of his trousers, and of his brothers in the VIP zone. On the supermarket, Tom seemed a different person. His hair had grown a little since you had seen him for the first time, not that buzzed but just straight short. He was more relaxed, or at least to you. And not having the pressure of being there because of Richard made you cherish the moment more.

Leaning against the cart and looking at the list with furrowed brows, Tom Holland was more human of what you had ever seen.

“This – what is this?” he pointed with his finger to a word, and the paper crumpled a little. You looked over his shoulder to where he was pointing.

“Uh, that’s carrots”

“No, here you can’t read carrots” he pointed again. “This is just some kind of electrogram with a slight upward tendency at the end”

You snorted a laugh and went back to walking, expecting Tom to follow you. He did, bending over the cart and with the list on his hand.

“I give you that you’re cute, fawn, but your handwriting is demoniac” Tom continued. “If I read all this out loud, no one assures me that a demon isn’t going to appear behind my back”

“You can try, but I’m not saving you if it does”

“Wow, that’s really rude of you” Tom pushed the cart until he was by your side again, and handed you the list. “Please don’t ever send me a letter”

“I can’t even send a message Tom”

It wasn’t your intention to send the hint, but if Tom took it and you got his number, you wouldn’t be the one complaining. You weren’t sure when the morning was over if you would see him again in the night, because Richard had yet to say if he wanted you to go. And if you didn’t have you, you wouldn’t. That didn’t mean you didn’t want to see Tom anymore.

“Yeah, we have to fix that” Tom commented as you stopped by the cereals aisle. “Give me your phone”

“I don’t know if you’re a stalker yet” you gave him a mocking side glance as you bent down to pick a box.

“Only one way to find out”

You took the cereal box out of its place and onto the cart, and gave Tom your unlocked phone. Not wanting him to see anything he shouldn’t see, like Richard’s conversation, you gave him the dialling up directly, and he tapped away. You entertained yourself meanwhile picking up two milk cartoons and leaving them in the cart.

You realized that you were nearly done, and that you didn’t want to leave just yet. But you could extend that much the supermarket and the homey look on Tom, so you decided to pick up the vegetables and leave for the next part.

Tom gave you back your phone and you were surprised to see that it was already locked; meaning he had put himself a contact name. Before you could ask what had it been, Tom was already on his way to pick up the carrots.

“You know what, I think it wasn’t that bad” Tom talked through the curtain. “I would erase the part where you unfolded the blueprints in the middle of the streets and they flew away, but I had a good time”

You rolled your eyes but chuckled anyway. You were running low on time before the machine on the laundry shop ended, but you still insisted on looking for your jacket. The green one was going to finally retire, and you needed one for the incoming spring. Tom had proposed several shops in where a piece of cloth costed more than a whole year earnings.

Tom had just given you a pointed glare, because probably for him money wasn’t tight, but you had insisted on going to your favourite shop anyway. It was close to the laundry shop, you didn’t have the constant pressure of finding Richard anymore, and besides it had the same jacket but with a different colour.

The jacket had been already brought, but you had seen a cute blue dress and Tom had seen you see it. Richard had never encouraged you to buy clothes, even less advised you while doing so. But Tom had thrown the dress to your arms and pushed you inside the dresser.

It was a long dress, not fit to go out to a club. With white flowers and a small opening on your right leg, the dress was longer from the back. It was crossed on the chest and with short sleeves. You weren’t sure what to think about it at first, but once you saw it on, you had to say it was beautiful.

You made a few turns and let the dress move around, and a silly smile formed on your face.

“Is it on?” Tom talked again, and you got out of your daydream. “I want to see it”

“Give a second”

Subconsciously, you fixed your hair in the mirror and checked for anything that could be wrong. It would be more than a few seconds, you were sure. You put on your white sneakers, eternally grateful that you had decided to shave your legs on Saturday, and tied them. They matched with the dress, and you couldn’t help making a few silly faces in the mirror.

Finally, you turned around and opened the curtains.

Tom wasn’t looking at you directly, but at somewhere in the shop. He had his eyebrows burrowed and the face you had seen in Dom’s the last time was back. It wasn’t for long, because as soon as he heard the curtain open, he turned around and pretended nothing was wrong. But you had already seen it, and for a moment you feared Jacob or Richard were there. Still gripping the curtain, you took a hesitant step forward and looked to the right.

There weren’t many people there, just the employees and a few people. Two woman, a group of men and some couples. You didn’t see anyone that deserved Tom’s worry, so you went back to your previous position and gave him a hesitant smile. He was already looking at you, with a small smile and a special shine on his eyes.

“What do you think?” you asked, moving your hips a little.

“It’s just – the dress is so you” Tom’s voice sounded a little rough. “It’s perfect, and it looks great on you. You’re… gorgeous, fawn”

“Thank you” you blushed and looked down to your feet.

“Maybe…” Tom raised his arm, and took a step forward. “Can I –“

You nodded and Tom stepped up until you could feel his breath on your face. It wasn’t necessary to be that close, but you didn’t complain. His hand hovered over your face until it raised a little, enough so that he could touch your hair. It fell all over when he took the rubbed band, and you were glad because at least covered your ears.

Tom didn’t stop there, but ducked your hair behind your ear. Tom seemed to be as nervous as you, because his fingers were warm. He left his hand close to your face.

“That’s better” he coughed out.

You should have moved away, because Tom wasn’t your boyfriend and because the laundry machines were probably nearly over. But neither of you attempted to do so. Tom’s hand rested on your cheek, his thumb nearing your mouth. Maybe it was you, but your inner voice was screaming that you were closer every second. Life around the shop seemed to keep going, but for you it stopped.

You knew that Richard would have accepted you sleeping with him if it meant valid information, and you didn’t feel an inch of your body that wanted to tear apart. Tom kept closing in, until your noses touched.

You were about to close your eyes when someone coughing made you both move away.

“Tommy”

You looked to the new voice, in fear some cop would be again ruining your time with Tom. You knew most of the cops in London, because of Richard, and the man who was smiling at you from the entrance of the fitting room wasn’t one.

He was chewing on a toothpick while leaning over the wall, his arms crossed. They were full of black dark hair, that matched the curly ‘dough’ on his head. If you had to rank him in your list of ‘gangster look’, he was on the top. He even had a short beard that looked nasty, and his eyes were exactly what you expected to see when you first met Tom.

The way he had said his name made Tom tense up.

“Didn’t expect you in seeing this kind of place” the man said, and you got the impression that he had a disgusting smell.

You noticed that the shop seemed to have emptied in a second, and the group of men that were looking at some jeans before were now eyeing you slightly. Tom didn’t answer and the man laughed, making his stomach move up and down. You knew there was something you didn’t know going on, and that it would be very beneficial for you to hurry the fuck up out of there.

But you were frozen in the spot. It had been a while since you had felt that way, probably since the first times Richard left you there alone for the first time. You tried to tell yourself that you had Tom, who surely wouldn’t leave you alone, because he had showed to be a much better man than Richard.

Your heart was already beating loud in your ears, and you clenched your hand around the fabric of the dress. It was colder than before.

“Why don’t you change, mh?”

Tom looked at you when he talked, and attempted to look comforting. But you knew that look, because he had given it to you when he had left you at Lisa’s house. His smile was tight and his hand urged you back into the fitting room. Tom’s eyes tried to say that everything was alright, but your mind was already on panicking mood.

He gave you a last smile and closed the curtain. You heard steps and hushed voices, meaning that Tom had walked out of the fitting rooms.

You quickly focused on your task. The dress would likely never be bought or even looked up, but you were decent enough to take off your shoes before taking it off. The laces messed themselves in between your fingers and your vision became blurry. You tugged at them until they finally came off, and you rushed to take off the dress.

It was the most difficult thing you had done in your life, because the cloth got tangled with your arms and you almost fell out on the floor. You collided with the walls and jumped a few times, until your head was free and you could breathe again. You left the dress on the bench and turned around to put on your jeans.

Only to be met by a completely new man who was staring at you in your underwear. In your struggling fit with the dress, you had missed the curtain opening and the man stepping in your personal space.

“Hey”

You only had time to grab the closest item and bring it close to your chest before being dragged out of the room by your forearm. It wasn’t gentle or nice, it was demanding and you were sure you would have bruises that night. You were too busy not planting your face on the ground that you couldn’t even scream, just whine and let a few tears finally roll down.

“Wait – please, I-I need –“ you tried to beg at least for your trousers, because you only had your underwear and a shirt clutched to your chest.

“Shut up, I’m not gonna hurt you Y/N” the guy hissed.

The surprise about him talking with such familiarity, as if you were part of the gang, left you stunned. It gave him the opportunity to drag you farther from the room. You tried to think if Tom had said your name when you were in the shop, but you only remembered him calling you fawn. You had thought it was a stupid nickname before, but it made you feel less guilty; because a fawn wouldn’t be doing to Tom what you were.

Suddenly any possibility of going back to the room to take your clothes vanished because you exited the fitting rooms and stepped into the shop. The rest of the group that had been badly pretending they weren’t with the bearded man were gone, and not even the shop assistants were there.

Everything passed rushing because the guy who was dragging seemed to be in a hurry, and because you were really, really close to bursting into tears. The grip on your arm seemed made of iron, and you kept stumbling with your own naked feet.

In a few seconds the man stopped walking and squeezed you by his side.

“That your girl, Tommy?” the man from before asked.

He had a nasty gash on his forehead and his voice sounded weird because of the heavy flow of his bloody nose, but other than that he still had the smug smirk.

Tom was in front of you, held by three guys while seeming more intimidating than ever. He had the skin rounding his eye red and puffy, and his eyebrow was open too; even if you hadn’t hear anything, it was obvious that there had been a fight between them. Other than that Tom looked fine, but really angry. It reminded you of an angry bull, that when set free would destroy everything in its path.

His eyes couldn’t hold the calm he wanted to attempt a moment before, when he had pushed you in the fitting room. Instead, from the back of his throat came something similar to a growl and he trashed. You weren’t aware of how strong Tom was until he moved and the three guys shook with him. One of them actually received an elbow to the chin, and at the same time you received a slap.

A small scream was all that left your lips as you were barrelling to the ground, which you hit pretty painfully.

“Stay the fuck still” the man who had slapped you threatened, and Tom stopped moving.

“Claudio –“

“That your girl, Tommy?” said Claudio asked again.

You rose to your knees with the shirt still covering your front, the tears running down your cheeks. You were scared, and if Richard came and screamed at you for being a scared fawn, you would take it. Because the police had to come, right?

Tom gritted his teeth but didn’t move. You were hoisted up by your forearm again, to the other man’s side. Claudio hummed and walked until he was in front of you again, confirming your hypothesis about his smell being disgusting. Your cheeks were squeezed between his fingers, painfully, and he shook your head like a rag.

“So this pretty thing isn’t yours?” Claudio raised a brow, and you didn’t dare to let the shirt fall to push him away. “Mh, that’s a shame”

“Then why don’t you fuck off?” Tom snarled, and you received another slap. You cried out that time, but you didn’t fell to the ground.

“Your voice is irritating me, Tommy. And I don’t have –“

Everything happened so fast that you weren’t sure what went first. Claudio was enjoying so much every tear that travelled down your cheek that didn’t hear the grunts, but you did. They were soft and quick, and then two bodies fell to the ground.

That got Claudio’s attention, who seemed to think better and decided that his time there was over. Two of the men that had been holding Tom were on the ground, blood oozing from their throats, and the third one was holding a gun for nothing. It fired and finally Claudio moved, so that you could see Tom.

There was blood, so much blood that it could have been his and you wouldn’t have known. The man pointed the gun to Tom as he was getting up from the floor, but he didn’t have time to shoot again. With a technique that you had only seen in films, Tom took the gun out of his grasp and shot him between the eyes.

The man made some strange spasming, not fully dead for a second until he fell against the wall. If the big stain of blood wasn’t enough, he created a thin line from where he fell down. You were pulled out of your own horror when Claudio pushed you in front of him. Tom was pointing at you, and you weren’t so sure that he wouldn’t shoot you to get to the guy.

Tom himself was a nightmare to look at. There was blood on his face, on his hands and on his clothes, and his eyes were as empty as the day at the club. He didn’t even flatter when you became the target, neither moved the gun.

“If you’re so brave to threaten me” Tom started, and his voice was as plain as paper. There was no hate, no anger or no frustration. Just Tom Holland, the leader of the mafia. “Don’t hide behind her, coward”

There had been a fourth man, the one that had dragged you out of the fitting room, but he was long gone. Claudio seemed to realize that he was alone, with Tom Holland, who had killed three of his men without any help. His options ran low and he did the first thing he thought of; throw you over a cloth rack while he ran.

You tripped with the coats that fell from it stumbled to the ground, as you heard steps running away. The whole thing crashed down and you were covered in clothes, not being able to move. The upper part hit you on the head while your feet got stuck with the lower, and you started to hyperventilate because you couldn’t see a thing.

There was no way to say if what you were hearing were police sirens or your own heartbeat, so you just closed your eyes. For a moment, you thought you were alone. If you had been with Richard, you would surely be, because he would be running behind the man to stop him from running away.

But you didn’t hear any more guns firing, neither more steps rushing by your side. A pair of hands helped you to push the clothes away, and when you were untangled, you were met with Tom’s eyes. You let out the first sob as he said the first apology of the day.

“I’m sorry – I’m so, so sorry”

Tom pushed you against his arms, and you wrapped yourself around him like a koala, staining his sweater with tears. You didn’t care about the blood or about the mess in the store, just pressed your face in the crook of his neck and cried. Tom’s hand shook as it made its way to the back of your head, pressing you farther into him, as if you were going to dissolve.

You were too busy crying on your own to notice Tom’s chocked cry, or how his grip on you was too tight to be just meant to comfort you. You didn’t know how long you were like that; you only know, how weird it was that the guy had known your name.

Want to know more about me? Here is my Masterlist! Feedback is always appreciated!!

Tom Holland/ Peter Parker taglist:

@delicately-important-trash

@lexxxistrips

@smilexcaptainx

@aikaterrina

@zalladane

@gypsystuf (since you didn’t answer me, I just put you on the general taglist. Let me know if you want to change!)

@nikkixostan

Tom Holland Fawn taglist:

@averyfosterthoughts

@killerqueenvibes

@spideylovin

@fantastic-fans

@addictofsupernatural

@americaswritings

@itsjusttor

@sunflxwer99

@dramione-winchester-mccall

@nicolettalauren

@coveredinthemessimade

@spideydobik

@runway-to-my-aid

@yeahimcrying

@herondale-snow-carstairs

@softstarkk

@atomicwinneralienhairdo

@watson-emma

@ifntelyinspirit

@himynameis-groot

129 notes · View notes

intruality-overlord · 4 years

Text

Why Are We (Best) Friends?

Warnings: Excessive swearing, alcoholism, mentions of drugs, drug use, suggestive humor, implied sexual content (no smut), some gore descriptions. Generally, Remus stuff.

Taglist: @blogging-time @veraisnotfine @littlestr @jessibbb @ibroken-butterflyi @hi-its-tutty @idkanameatall

(For these first couple chapters I have tagged people I thought might be interested in reading this. Please let me know if you want to be added or removed from the tag list!)

The next chapters I will be posting every week on Thursday/Wednesday because this is a prewritten fic (look at me being responsible—)

Chapter Two: Fuck This

The Present.

“That fucker drives me fucking insane!” Patton’s shouting bounced off the walls. “Virgil keeps getting fucking mad at me and I don’t even know what I’m doing fucking wrong at this point, but he won’t fucking tell me what the fuck it is either!” He ranted. Remus nodded along, sat across from him. His legs were crossed with his pointy elbows resting on top, and his spine bent awkwardly so he could settle his head in his palm. Thoroughly entertained, Remus hummed every now and then in agreement like a sham therapist.

“And Roman! He... he... You know why he’s a bitch,” Patton lamented. A cackle shattered Remus’s short-lived, feigned seriousness.

“The last time we saw you was fucking Christmas,” Patton mocked. “Maybe because you didn’t fucking invite me, idiot. Of course Logan wouldn’t, though, all high and mighty smartass. And my puppet idea was a fucking good idea goddamnit. Bullshit. Bullshit!— ugh,” Patton sighed out his remaining traces of frustration. He crossed his arms over his chest and sunk into the green bean bag. Some of the styrofoam beads spilled out a small tear on the poor, battered, ever shrinking bean bag.

Grinning wildly, Remus said, “While that was a marvellous performance, I must say it could do with a little more variety in your profanity.” Patton gave an amused, breathy snort.

“Why are we friends, Remus? You’re such a bad influence on me,” Patton said teasingly. Remus rolled his eyes as Patton plucked another Pepsi can (which contents had most definitely not been poured down the drain and refilled with a concoction of cocktails) from his mini fridge. Remus let Patton hide his alcohol stockpile in his room since his dear friend was so paranoid of the other sides discovering it. “Encouraging me to curse, letting me have access to vodka…”

“Oh, shut up. You’ve become an alcoholic all on your own,” Remus said dismissively.

“...True,” Patton conceded. “You were always more the type for cookie mix,” Patton added as an afterthought. Remus doubled over into a laughing fit. Cookie mix most certainly had nothing to do with cocaine. He couldn’t help but laugh at the smug knowing look Patton sent him as him floundered.

“You— you can’t— I’ve been clean for a few months now!” Remus said defiantly, sinking further into his beanbag with his arms crossed. (Quickly, Remus double checked, pulling his hair over his eyes only to find clear brown, no white in sight. Phew.) Patton hummed sceptically. “But you did have shrooms recently,” he teased.

Remus huffed. “No I haven’t— …Wait—” Remus paused, “Have I?”

“I don’t know,” Patton smiled, “Have you?” Remus let his eyes wander the room. “I can’t remember…”

Patton rolled his eyes fondly.

“You know as long as you’re not over doing it, and you’re being as safe as possible, it’s fine with me. I don’t have any right to judge,” Patton said reassuringly. Yes, Patton knew it was inherently wrong to not at least try and steer his friend onto a less self-destructive path. Remus, to him, was like a hairless Chinese Crested puppy. Very weirdly adorable in the nasty kind of way. (That sounds bad, but he truly means it in the best way possible. What he lacked in hair as a metaphorical dog, he made up for in personality and a good heart muddle somewhere in there). Which meant he struggled to ever say no to him.

Patton also knew that the last thing he wanted to be was a hypocrite. Maybe once he got himself on the right track, then he’d intervene more.

“Seriously, how did we ever become friends?” Patton said genuinely. “I still thought babies were delivered by stalks when we first became friends.”

“I dunno… we just did,” was all Remus could come up with. He shifted uncomfortably in his seat. When he couldn’t quite get comfy, he resorted to sitting upside down on the couch instead. Much better.

Silence settled over the two for a minute. Patton stared into space, deep in thought. Taking sips of his drink, he felt the alcohol lethargically burning down his throat. Remus resorted to picking at his nails again in the stillness, wondering if it’s possible to have a tattoo underneath your nails.

“I don’t regret it,” Patton said thoughtfully. Remus cocked his head to the side, neck cracking when his body slipped down the sofa a bit. “Becoming friends with you,” Patton clarified. “You’re the best friend I could ask for, really. You don’t baby and shelter me like the others. You let me just… be,” Patton said sincerely. “Which always seems too much to ask of the others,” Patton tacted on bitterly. He took a generous swig as if to emphasize his point. Remus scoffed, the tiny movement making him slide the rest of the way down onto the carpet. “Aww I’m flattered, honey.” His tone was excessively teasing, yet his expression was anything but.

Midst lazily reaching for another can, Remus swatted Patton’s hands away. “I think that’s enough. You’re already starting to monologue. If you keep going you’ll have a hangover so bad, it’ll feel like you actually hanged yourself,” Remus tutted. While Patton was no light weight (his words hadn’t even begun to slur yet), from the way Patton was chugging it down, Remus knew his body just hadn’t caught up yet.

Meekly lolling his head back to face skywards, Patton whined but didn’t protest. Sinking lower into the cushy bean bag, his eyes traced imagery patterns on the ceiling.

God, Remus knew that look.

“I just don’t know anymore, ReRe,” Patton said defeatedly, “Every time I think I’m over it, they keep giving me false hope. Everything I say and feel is ignored, and whenever I’m right, they always think it’s a stupid flook. They never listen. I don’t think they ever will at this rate. I don’t even know if I want to be friends with them anymore or I’m just really fucking lonely and my brain’s just hard wired to associate, I don’t know, being happy? With them?” His eyes were vacant, dull. “Why can’t it be like when we were little?”

While the whole point of their little get together was for Patton to vent with free will to cuss as needed, this more sappy, philosophical stuff… Remus didn’t like. You can’t blame him for not liking to see his best friend this miserable. Still, he knew it was best to let Patton keep going.

“Even if they did actually care about me, I’m sure they’d stop the moment they knew we’re like… a thing. Logan would think I’m crazy— Virgil and Roman too… I know what they’d think of us and it’s so— so—” Patton made a nondescript noise of frustration. “They’d say you corrupted me or some shit. I… I’m not embarrassed of you. I should stop acting like I am. I hate this stupid dumb angel reputation I have anyway. I’m just… I have to admit the only real reason I haven’t really said anything at this point is it’s kinda funny seeing their reactions whenever I accidentally say something that sounds wrong.”

Remus chuckled. “I don’t know how they haven’t caught on yet, honestly. Your half of our brain cell is just as sick as mine. They must be in denial.”

“Yeah…”

…

“I should be going to bed,” Patton tried to stand up. As soon as he stood however, his knees buckled. Remus dashed to his side and caught him. “You goof…” Remus positioned him upright. Steadying hands on his hips, Patton tried to stand up straight. A task easier said that done when you’re a gay panic. Inevitably, Patton limply collapsed on top of Remus.

“I don’t think I can make it to my room…” Patton’s cheeks flushed and the red ran down his neck.

“You wet noodle.”

“You… blue cheese lover.”

(“Is that supposed to be an insult?”)

(“Who the fuck likes blue cheese?”)

Arm slung over his shoulder, Remus hauled Patton into the hallway and onwards. He would have carried Patton if he hadn’t been so surprisingly stubborn. All well, anything to make him happy. They returned to their earlier, lighter bantering. The alcohol started to really catch up with Patton, his quips came slower. No less witty, though (by their standards).

Everything would’ve gone like normal if it wasn’t for a certain nerd who had decided on a coffee before bed. Most counterproductive. As soon as Logan had started out his room, he spotted them. His eyes settled into a potent, yet subtle glare. Like a droplet of poison spilt on an unassuming biscuit.

“What the…”

“Logyyy!” Patton perked up at the sound of his voice, lifting himself from Remus’s side that he’d been slumped on. The sudden movement made him lose balance. Scrambling to catch himself, Remus found himself with two arms wrapped around his shoulders now.

“Is… is he— are you drunk?” Logan sputtered. Disbelief shaped his words like they felt alien on his tongue. “I’m not thaaaat drunk!” Patton retaliated. Logan ignored him, cold, tired eyes set on Remus. “What did you do to him?” Logan said as aggressively as a guinea pig could manage. Confusion still mostly coloured his stare. “Me an’ Re er havin’ bestie time, duh!” Patton answered. He sounded giddy, but his voice had a touch of satire only drunken Patton could manage. Even in his drunken state, Patton subconsciously was trying to maintain his image.

Remus frowned. This learnt behaviour was ingrained into Patton.

“He shouldn’t be around someone like you in such a vulnerable state,” Logan said, already trying to pry Patton from his arms. “No—” Remus began, looping his arms securely on Patton's waist, “I’ll take care of him.”

“Noooo,” Patton recoiled, trying to melt into Remus’s side. “It's bestiee tiiiimme wi’ Emu.” Patton's arms slid up Remus’s shoulders around his neck as he squirmed. “You’re drunk, Patton,” Logan dismissed.

Seething, Remus shoved Logan off. “You heard him,” he said, sternly. “Back off before I carve out your tongue, blend it, and force feed it to you,” he threatened. Arms crossed, Logan huffed like an exhausted parent. “You’re all bark, no bite,” he dismissed.

“Oh honey, you ha’ no idea how mu’ he bi’es.”

Schooling his face into glares and scrunched eyebrows, Remus sighed out the giggles brewing in his lungs. Nonetheless, Patton was proud of the brief smug smile he provoked. Pretending he didn’t hear that, Logan insisted, “You’re a bad influence on someone like Patton. People like you shouldn’t be around him, especially when he’s inebriated.”

“Better under the supervision of a friend. He’d drink himself to death otherwise.”

“Yes, but preferably, that should be Virgil or Roman or I, most certainly not you.”

“It’s not my fault he doesn’t feel comfortable enough around anyone else, tin can.”

“Re,” Patton interrupted, whining, “I’m bored le’s gooo.” He tugged on him.

“—He’s drunk he doesn’t know what he’s saying— you know what— Okay, Patton, you choose. Me,” Logan pointed to himself, “or him?” He said overly pronouncing his words.

…

“…‘M drunk not a fuckin’ kid,” was Patton’s response. “We go now,” and he was stumbling down the hallway dragging Remus with him.

Both missed the shell shocked expression on Logan, not daring to believe his ears. Patton cursing? An intoxicated Patton, no less? No. Nope. Absolutely not. He needed coffee desperately.

When they finally got to Patton’s room, Remus carefully directed him, even lowering him onto his bed. Patton had the tendency to unceremoniously flop face first onto his bed like a starfish.

“I swear I’m gonna strangle Logan,” Remus muttered as he made sure Patton was comfortable, tucking in his blankets.

“I don’ think he into bdsm,” Patton said as an offhanded thought.

“You never know. He could be partial to a spider gag…”

“You really just want to try that thing out don’t you? I swear to god— oof.” Remus snatched his pillow from beneath his head to fluff it. Pretending to not pretend he was punching a sheep’s limp corpse, he fluffed it extremely thoroughly.

“You gotsa stop relying on me to keep you in check, ya know,” Patton pouted, arms crossed. “Your— you’re fuckin’ innsaaane!”

“I only ask you sometimes…” Remus said (the worst part about that sentence was that it was utterly true).

Blank stare piercing Remus, Patton paused a moment for his brain to function before deadpanning, “I’d like to talk to you about Jesus Christ—”

Remus shoved Patton’s pillow back, and he promptly forgot everything in favour of burrowing down into his bed. Touch light as moonlight, Remus herded Patton’s wild locks from his forehead. “What am I gonna do with you…”

“You’re na’ gon change my mind… kinky b-hole,” Patton mumbled, caught between the conscious world and sleep. Remus’s eyes smiled. Crouching down, he hovered over Patton. Hovered over his forehead, wondering. Pondering, debating, convincing himself. His breath stirred Patton’s brown locks. They scattered like a spooked flock. Running. Patton shivered.

He shouldn’t. Backing away, Remus was ready to switch the lights off and evacuate, yet was stopped.

“Reeemuuuuuss,” Patton called. Suddenly, he was wide awake again.

Huh?— his breath hitched. His hand caught on the doorway.

“Staaaaayyy! Preddy please?” He made grabby hands.

But— they don’t—

Did he deserve…? Right now? His nails dug into the doorframe.

…

“Okay! I’m coming, I’m coming,” Remus assured, relenting. Lazy giggles from Patton rewarded him. Flicking off the light, Remus strode back over. Laying together in silence, Remus picked the paint and splinters out from underneath his nails and waited. When Patton didn’t budge, Remus took his arms and used them like a seat belt. Simultaneously, Patton glued himself to his back like a limpet. A warm wall of heat.

“Remouse?” He mumbled into his shoulder.

“Hmm?”

“You’re really sweet. like… like tomato sauce.”

…

Welp okay then.

Next Chapter:

#WAW(B)F?#sander sides #thomas sanders #ts sander sides #patton sanders #ts patton #remus sanders #ts remus #intruality #moduke #logan sanders #ts logan #remus x patton #patton x remus

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rocksandrobots · 4 years

Text

Of Rocks and Robots Ch. 3 - The First Day (part 1)

Wasabi awoke to little tiny hands patting his face. He opened his eyes and saw the raccoon, Ruddiger, perched on top of his chest and staring intensely back at him, snout inches from his face. He yelled and bolted upright at the sight; startling the creature and awaking the sleeping boy on the couch.

Last night Wasabi had come back from the laundry room and found Varian already asleep curled up on the sofa. The raccoon was digging into the box of pizza on the table. Annoyed that his dinner was now contaminated by raccoon germs he placed the critter and the rest of the pizza inside the bathroom, along with a makeshift bed out of the wet towels that the stranger had used to shower with. Feeling he had fulfilled his promise of making the raccoon comfortable he then securely shut the door to the bathroom, covered the sleeping boy with a blanket, scarfed down a cream cheese bagel, and then went to bed.

It would have appeared that he didn’t close the door tightly enough because at some point during the night the raccoon had managed to open it and escape.

Wasabi groaned in frustration and looked at the clock next to his bed. Nine in the morning; the gang would be meeting soon at the Lucky Cat for breakfast, if they hurried they could be there at around ten thirty or eleven at the latest.

He threw on a sweater and some pants on top of his sleepwear and went down to retrieve the laundry from last night. Varian asked to come along and see the machines that cleaned the clothes. He was all questions, just like the night before. Wasabi tried to patiently answer them all as he folded the laundry before carrying the now clean clothes back upstairs.

While the kid went into the bathroom to change back into his old attire; Wasabi looked up a number for a local veterinarian office.

-------------------

Varian came out of the washroom to find Wasabi talking into a thin black box that he held to one ear.

“Are you sure Monday is the earliest you have available?”, he heard the taller man say with a bit of desperation in his voice. Wasabi then paused, as if listening to another voice coming from the box, before continuing on. “Alright then I’ll bring the raccoon by, at around nine, see you then. Thank you and have a nice day.” He then removed the box from his ear and pressed his thumb to its screen, apparently turning it off and ending the conversation. That’s when he noticed Varian.

“It’s like seventy degrees out today. Are you sure you want to be wearing a heavy coat and gloves?” He asked, taking note of Varian’s full Saporian garb.

“I find it completes the aesthetic.” Varian said, cupping his chin with his finger and thumb and raising his eyebrow and giving a crooked smile. Desperately trying to come off as suave and smooth as he said it.

“What aesthetic? Steampunk pirate?” Wasabi responded back with deadpan sarcasm.

“What’s steampunk?” Varian sincerely asked, ignoring the other man’s snark.

“Nevermind, we’re taking you clothes shopping today anyways.” He said with a shake of his head.

“Umm, not to sound ungrateful but, why?”

“Because there’s no telling how long you’re going to be here and I’m not washing your dirty clothes every single day.”

“You don’t need to wash clothes every day.” Varian half laughed while rolling his eyes.

“Uh-uh! We don’t do that here! You ain’t wearing the same clothes day in and day out without cleaning them. You need at least seven outfits, one for each day of the week, probably even more than that if I’m being honest” Wasabi retorted back in all seriousness.

“Sounds excessive, but okay.” Varian replied skeptically. He couldn’t understand why anyone would need more than two or three different sets of clothes, some made due with only one set. Only royals and other insanely wealthy individuals had wardrobes that large. But Varian wasn’t going to argue, after all Wasabi had done so much for him already, who was he to complain about receiving new clothes?

“Before that we gotta make a stop at the pet shop and find that raccoon of yours some new sleeping arrangements. He somehow broke out last night and we can’t have that happening again. After that we’re meeting the rest of the guys at Aunt Cass’s for breakfast.”

Varian didn’t know who “Aunt Cass” was, but he didn’t ask anymore questions as the thought of a good breakfast started to override his normal curiosity.

“Come here buddy” Varian gently coaxed his pet. He picked the raccoon up in his arms and followed Wasabi out the door and down the stairs back to the car.

-------------------

If Varian had thought the city was impressive at night it was even more overwhelming during the day. Cars and people were everywhere. San Fansokyo bustled and teemed with life. Never had Varian seen so many crowds of people,so many buildings, nor so many new inventions all at once. Not even in Corona’s capital.

Wasabi pulled to a stop next to a squat brick building on the side of the street. It had a sign above the top of the building that in big large letters read, “PET TENPO”, and underneath those, in smaller type, were symbols from a language Varian didn’t recognized.

“Here we are.” Wasabi said cheerfully, he turned the car off and got out. Varian followed suit.

The pet store was a small establishment packed full with shelves stuffed with various merchandise. Towards the front counter there were cages with exotic birds and at the back of the store were large tanks full of colorful fish. Ruddiger took a particular interest in these and tried to escape Varian’s grasp and climb the tanks in order to get at the tasty morsels swimming about.

“Ruddiger get down!” Varian snatched the raccoon off the top aquarium in embarrassment, before any harm could be done.

Wasabi didn’t notice. He was already gathering up the items they would need; pet bed, cat carrier, a cat leash, one that went around the animal’s waist so as not to choke it, a large dog kennel to sleep in, litter box with litter to go with it, flea powder, and finally both a bag of dog food and a can of cat food; as Wasabi had no idea what to feed the thing. He figured they would just try both and see what would come of it.

“See anything else we might need?” Wasabi asked as they went to the counter to pay for the items.

“Hmmm..” Varian gave a last glance around the store, not entirely sure what he was looking for but he couldn’t help feeling like something was missing. Then he spied a large sawed off tree branch next to the caged birds. He placed Ruddgier on the counter and went to pick it up. It was a lot lighter than he expected and hollow but it seemed sturdy.

Wasabi gave him a curious look. “He likes to climb trees,” Varian explained, “Maybe we can put this up somewhere for him to play on.”

“Ok.” Wasabi shrugged and added it to the pile of other stuff. Once everything was paid for they carried it back to the car and placed it all into a compartment at the back of the vehicle. All but the leash, that is, which Wasabi handed to him to put on the raccoon. Then they hopped back into the car and were off again.

-------------------

They arrived at the cafe fashionably late.The others no doubt were already in the middle of eating. Wasabi paralleled parked in front of the three story house turned eatery. No sooner did he push the gear into park then did Ruddiger scurry across the dash over to him to look out the driver side window.

Wasabi turned his head to see what had caught the raccoon’s interest. Sitting on the roof was yet another raccoon. This one with a lighter brown coat. It looked at the newcomers for a bit before turning around and running off.

Great more vermin. Wasabi thought to himself as he rolled his eyes. Out loud though he only said. “Why don’t you take him for a walk before bringing him inside? Let him blow off some energy. Just keep to the sidewalk and don’t go too far.”

Varian nodded his head in agreement and grabbed the raccoon and pulled him away from the window. Once outside the car he put the pet down and held on to the other end of the leash, allowing the critter to pull him along any way it chose. Wasabi took this as an opportunity to forewarn his friends.

He found the gang inside all sitting together around a table eating breakfast.

“Hey, Wasabi. Where’s the new kid, Varian, wasn’t it?” Fred greeted him, waving at him from where he sat as Wasabi made his way over to them.

“Guys you won’t believe the night I’ve had.” He vented.”This kid; he doesn’t know anything about electricity, indoor plumbing, cars, has never had a vaccine….” Wasabi rattled off all the weirdness he had to put up with since the stranger had arrived, visibly counting down the number of offensives to good hygiene and common sense he had had to deal with. “ But that’s not the worst part. The worst part is, he has a pet ra–”

“A raccoon!” Honey Lemon squealed with joy, cutting Wasabi off. He stopped to look at her but she was already out of her chair and bounding away to the front entrance where Varian had just walked in carrying his pet in his arms.

-------------------

“Oh, a raccoon! He’s so adorable. Can I hold him?” The tall girl breathlessly said in wonderous delight while reaching her hand out to pet Ruddiger. It took a moment for Varain to recognize her as the pink suited knight from last night, but her cheery voice gave her away.

“Sure” Varian agreed and handed his pet to her. She giggled and cradled the raccoon in her arms like a baby, all the while cooing compliments and scratching under his chin and behind his ears. Ruddiger seemed very pleased with the attention and Varian couldn’t help but chuckle at the sight. Few people wanted anything to do with his pet, let alone cuddle him.

Varian then looked past her to Wasabi and the other knights sitting around the table. Only without their armor, they looked less like warriors and more like regular teenagers like himself. All, that is, save for the large white pillowy creature beside them.

The creature stood as tall as a man and only had two black coal eyes, no nose or visible mouth, and a large bulging body with stubby legs. It was completely white and the impression it gave Varian was that of a snowman come to life. He walked towards the creature transfixed, curious as to what it was.

“Say hello to Baymax. You met him last night, but he looks a little different out of his armor.” The boy named Hiro said bemusingly.

“Baymax? The knight? Oh, I’m… I’m sorry I didn’t mean to stare.” Varian stammered out this apology, embarrassed once again that he didn’t understand the inner workings of this world. He knew staring at people was rude and he no doubt just offended the being before him.

“No need to apologize. I am a robot and therefore can not get offended.” The creature said in his usual clipped voice. It strangely sounded human and yet somehow artificial and emotionless at the same time. Varian found it a little off putting.

“A robot?”

“It’s artificial intelligence, a machine made to perform human-like tasks.” Hiro explained.

“Ooooh…Like an automaton!” Varian said as realization dawned on him. “I’ve never seen one that can talk before! That’s amazing!”

“Wait! You don’t have electricity or indoor plumbing but you have robots in your world?” Wasabi said, not believing what he was hearing.

“Yeah, we call them automatons.”

“Well, ok then,” Wasabi said with a shrug of resignation, officially giving up trying to make sense of Varian and his world.

“But if you don’t have electricity then what do the robots run on?” The tall girl joined in on the conversation, taking a seat at the table once more while still holding Ruddigger.

“Well originally they ran on clockwork. They had a wind up mechanism like a music box,” Varian excitedly explained, “But I improved the design with Flynomium!” He paused for dramatic effect.

“What’s that?” the blonde boy, Fred said, giving Varian just the very question he was looking for.

“It’s a chemical compound of my own design. It generates steam when it comes into contact with water.” He proudly proclaimed.

“Sooo they’re steam powered. Then how does the compound work?” The short girl, Gogo asked.

“Well, when Flynnolium comes in contact with water it quickly dilutes creating an exothermic reaction caused by the dissociation of ions.”

“Oh, like sodium hydroxide!” The tall girl, Honey Lemon, cheerily chimed in.

“Exactly, in fact lye is one of the components in Flynnolium along with…with..” Varian stopped and stared at the red-headed girl as what she had just said sunk in. She not only had kept up with his scientific explanation but even was able to pinpoint one of its main components just from his description alone. Varian had never met anyone who could do that. In fact most people got bored, irritated, or confused by his scientific ramblings. He then looked around at the other teens sitting at the table. They all were intently looking at him, completely engrossed by what he had to say, not giving any indication they were lost or annoyed by his lecture.

“Go on, we’re listening.” Gogo encouraged him, noting the sudden silence from him.

“You..you’re all scientists?” Varian asked.

“Well I’m not. I’m just a science enthusiast, but all these guys are” Fred happily pointed out.

“We all attend the San Fransokyo Institute of Technology; we also call it the nerd school.” Hiro explained. “I’m a robotics major, Honey Lemon is a chemical engineer, Wasabi is an expert in quantum optics, and Gogo is a double major in mechanical engineering and industrial design.”

“And I’m the school’s mascot!” Fred shouted enthusiastically.

“So you’re all scientists and knights?”

“Ooooooh knights, I like it! Honorable warriors defending their home from outside threats, only to discover that the real threats are from the inside.” Fred said with an air of mysterious ominousness, as if about to launch into a story.

“Yeah something like that,” Hiro said, waving off the older teen’s over-eagerness. “We use our scientific knowledge to build our armor and weapons in order to protect the city from criminals that the regular police can’t handle. But we try to keep it on the down low. Not many people know what we do, especially my aunt, so I have to ask you to not tell her or anyone else about our knightly escapades, please.”

Varian promised his secrecy.

“Thanks, if Aunt Cass ever found out, she’d never let me out of the house again. Also you might not want to tell everyone that you’re from another world while we’re at it.”

Just then a petite woman with short brown hair walked in carrying two plates of pancakes, interrupting their conversation. She smiled widely at the sight of Varian and set the plates down at the table.

“Oh who’s this? A new friend?”

“This is Varian, he’s a new foreign exchange student at SFIT.” Hiro explained, already giving Varian a cover story. “Varian, this is my Aunt Cass. He starts this new semester and we’re showing him around.”

“Oooh exciting! So you’re new to America then?”

Varian nodded.

“Well let me treat you to an all American breakfast, make you feel at home.” She clasped her hands in excitement. “ How do you feel about pancakes with blueberries?”

“That sounds great, thank you.” Varian replied awkwardly. He wasn’t used to people being genuinely nice to him and the enthusiasm with which the woman greeted him, while appreciated, made Varian feel self-conscious.

“Splendid! Do you want any coffee to go with it, or would you prefer orange juice?”

“Coffee sounds nice.”

“Sugar, cream? How would you like it?” She was slipping into customer service mode which made Varian feel even more awkward as the questions kept coming.

“Black?”

“Ok. I’ll go get that for you.” She sailed away to the counter to grab a coffee pot and cup and Varian sat down at the table next to Honey Lemon. When the woman returned she placed the cup next to him and began to pour the coffee while continuing with what she thought was more small talk.

“So where are you from?”

“Old Corona” Varian said unthinkingly, feeling even more uneasy as the woman began to serve him. He wasn’t used to people doing things for him either. However he realized his mistake as soon as he noticed the apprehension in Hiro’s eyes.

“Old Corona?” Aunt Cass repeated the words back in confusion, “Oh, where’s that?”

“Europe.” Varian hoped that would be explanation enough, but he feared he was digging himself into even more of hole.

“Oh what part of Europe, near France or Italy?”

Varian at least had heard of those places so he tried formulating an answer based on that. “It’s northeast of France, near the sea,” hoping a vague truth would ease the questioning.

“Oh so like near Poland and the Ukraine, one of those old Soviet countries? I’m afraid I was never good at geography. It doesn’t help that everything keeps changing, I still remember when there were two Gremanys on the map at school.” She said, trying to laugh off her lack of knowledge on the subject.

Now Varian was completely lost, most of those places he had never heard of before and, another world or no, he couldn’t for the life of him think of any reason why there would be two countries with the same name. He just simply couldn’t think of anything to respond with and silence fell over the group as Aunt Cass and he blankly stared at each other.

Hiro swooped in to end the awkwardness, “You made yourself feel old again didn’t you?” He said to his aunt in a gently teasing manner, a sly smile creeping across his face.

“Yep,” Aunt Cass responded; now starring pass Varian as if looking at her own mortality.

“Do you wanna go get those pancakes and exit this awkward conversation?” He suggested.

“Yep,” Aunt Cass gave a brief nod of agreement and promptly twirled around and headed back into the kitchen.

Everyone visibly relaxed after she left, having narrowly avoided any more awkward questions and explanations. Everyone but Varian who now felt both embarrassed and guilty. He took a sip of the coffee she had just given him, hoping no one would notice his face turning red. At least it was good coffee though. Something Varian hadn’t had in ages.

Fortunately everyone seemed to be eager to move on from the whole affair, and Honey Lemon was the first to change the subject.

“Your pet is adorable. What’s his name?”

“Ruddgier,” Varian said, relieved that no one was focusing on his latest screw up.

“Where did you even get him?” Gogo asked.

“Oh I rescued him from a rabbit snare. Poor thing got his paw snagged trying to steal apples from our orchard. He hasn’t stopped following me around or breaking into our food stores since.”

Honey Lemon looked at him disquieted, “A rabbit snare? That’s awful.”

“I know, right? I mean they’re fine for catching rabbits but anything could get caught in them if you aren’t careful. That’s why I tried creating a chemical compound that could more humanely trap pests.” He was now getting excited again. He wanted to talk more about science with the pretty girl who understood chemistry as well as he did, but she unfortunately couldn’t move on from the snare traps.

“But why would you want to catch bunny rabbits?” Honey Lemon bemoaned in confusion.

“To stop them from getting to our crops. My village is a farming town.” Varian explained. To him it was just natural. A part of everyday life. He could understand her displeasure over using snares, he didn’t like them either, but not her objections to the act of catching the animals themselves. She just stared at him wide-eyed in response though. Perhaps she needed more clarification as to what was done with the rabbits.

“And we also eat them afterwards.” He hoped that would be enough to quail her concerns; that they weren’t just killing small creatures for no reason at all. He was wrong.

“You eat rabbits!?” She asked, horrified.

“A lot of people eat rabbits.” Gogo interjected in his defense. “They even sell frozen rabbit meat at the grocery store.”

“Yeah, it’s what hossenfeffer is made from.” Fred pitched in.

“You’ve had hossenfeffer before?” Wasabi asked in disbelief.

“Yeah, once. Remember my mom likes to take us to those fancy dinners with all the weird food.”

Honey Lemon however looked like she was about to cry at this new information and Varian was simply trying to make sense of her discomfort and why this might not be common knowledge.

“Oh, I guess living in a big city like this you can just go to the market and pick up your dinner?” Varian guessed, trying to ease the tension and offer understanding. “That must be nice. It’s no fun having to butcher your own meat…that’s… that’s just.. unpleasant ….” He trailed off and began to stare into the middle distance as if haunted by bad memories. Awkward silence fell upon the group once more as they all stared back at him in concern, unsure of how to proceed. He really was from a different world from their own.

Fortunately Aunt Cass returned with more pancakes dispersing the disquiet that had befallen the group. She placed a plate of pancakes in front of Varian who began eating almost immediately to distract from the growing embarrassment he felt. They were delicious, a lot fluffier and buttery than the ones he used to make when he was still living in Old Corona. They were also topped with blueberries and a sweet cream. Along with the hot coffee; it was the best meal Varian had had since leaving prison.

“You want some maple syrup?” Hiro asked, sliding a little glass dispenser with a metal top over to him.

“Maple?” Varian quizzed. The syrup was dark and thick, similar to molasses or treacle, and every bit as sweet. Almost too sweet for Varian, but he poured just a little onto the top of the stack of flat cakes so as not to seem rude. He had caused enough awkwardness for the day.

After a time, Aunt Cass came over to refill everyone’s drinks and to see if they needed anything. While there she tried to strike up yet another conversation with Varian. She wanted to know more about who her nephew was hanging out with.

“So Varian, you don’t look much older than Hiro. Did you also get accepted into college early?” She asked as she poured him more coffee.

Varian wasn’t sure how to respond, he didn’t know that there was an accepted time frame for universities here nor what the qualifications for that time frame would normally be. However he saw Hiro sitting across from him, nodding his head vigorously while his aunt’s back was turned to him.

“Yeah,” Varian hoped he sounded more confident then he felt.

“Oh, your parents must be so proud then.” She cheerfully said.

Those words, as kind as they were, sent Varian’s stomach plummeting to the ground. For the briefest of moments he was right back in that cold laboratory next to the dimly glowing amber. Crying on the floor while the snow fell outside.

Varian swallowed hard and tried to force those images out of his head. It wouldn’t do to start tearing up in front of a bunch of strangers, nor to say anything that could lead to awkward questions about his past.

“It’s.. It’s just me and my dad, and I..I would hope he is.” Varian explained, hoping that would be an acceptable answer for the woman.

“I’m sure he is.” Aunt Cass told him reassuringly. “I’m guessing he’s still in, Corona, was it?” She continued.

Varian nodded and then looked down at the plate of pancakes the woman had given him. He’d eaten a little over half of them, but the reminder of his father had left him with little appetite.

“Thank you for breakfast. It was delicious.” He said, hoping to either change the conversation or excuse himself altogether.

He stood up and grabbed the plate. “Where do I wash this at?"

Aunt Cass gently laughed at that question. "Oh that’s very sweet of you, but you don’t have to do the dishes. You just go on and enjoy your day."

"Yeah we’re about to head out,” Hiro chimed in.“We’re going to go to the mall today."

"Ok. Y'all have fun.” His aunt said and began to gather up the plates.

Varian felt a little guilty leaving her with all the work of cleaning up, but she had insisted otherwise and the others were already starting to leave. Varian told her thank you once more and waved goodbye. She flashed him a warm smile in return as he left.

#tangled the series #varian #BH6 the series #hiro hamada #tts #tangled #bh6 #aunt cass #wasabi #ruddiger #honey lemon #gogo #fred #of rocks and robots

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wildflowergrant · 5 years

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can you do an ethan imagine where you two are secretly a thing and you get into a fight while out with a group of friends and no one understands why it’s such a big deal until they put together the pieces and they try to help you guys make up? xx

Today was one of the days where all your friends got together. Literally all of them. Even though some people didn’t know other people, they still came over because their close friends were there. And of course, Grayson and Ethan’s place was where everyone went to since they have the biggest place.

But before everyone came, you and Ethan had a bit of a problem.

“I don’t know, maybe just hang out with your friends more so they won’t get suspicious.” You were planning out who’s going to ride with who and arrangements so nobody would get mad. But seems like that’s not going very well.

“Why are you so scared of them being so suspicious?”

“Because I don’t want them finding out.” He hugged and scrolled through his phone, answering the texts in the group chat.

“Why don’t you want anyone finding out?” He took a long blink, something you guys would do to tell each other if you were annoyed at something.

“Why are you asking so many questions? Why can’t you just agree?”

“Why can’t you just answer the question.” He rubbed his temple and breathed in deeply. After a few moments of waiting for him to reply, you gave up. “Fine, I get it. You’re probably embarrassed to be seen together with me.” Before he could even look at you, you were standing up and heading out the door.

As you walked through the doorway, your body bumped into Gray’s chest, and you stumbled back a bit. “What are you doing? Did you listen ya through here?” He froze.

“Y-Yeah.” You rolled your eyes. “Do you want to talk about it.”

“.. no.” He nodded and made way for you to pass him, leaving him behind most likely to talk to Ethan.

One by one, your friends came over and you sat on the other end of the couch, furthest from Ethan. Petty, but that’s how your mind worked at the moment. And instead of riding with your girlfriends, you decided to ride with Kyle, since he would be all alone in the hour drive.

“Hey, is it ok if I ride with you?” He looked up from his bags in the trunk and looked over at you.

“You sure? What about Ethan?” It was mostly Gray and Kyle who knew about you and Ethan, considering they’re always at the house.

You rolled your eyes and put your bags in his trunk. “There’s no way I’m gonna talk to him or even look at him.” He stood there, silent. Kyle’s always had a small little crush on you, and everybody knew. Even Ethan. But after you and Ethan became a thing, he went as far as threatening Kyle to not try anything.

And of course, he wasn’t stupid. He knew that through the whole drive he can’t try anything even if he really wants to.

“Ok, well I have nobody else riding along with me and it’ll be nice to have company.” She smiled and went off to get snacks. Kyle had a small grin on his face, but it was immediately wiped out when he saw Ethan giving him a ‘what the fuck just happened’ look. Kyle just shrugged his shoulders and followed you over.

Throughout the whole car ride, you vented to Kyle, mostly because you had to let it out.

“Hey, I’ll talk to him when we go to our Airbnb. Don’t worry about it.” You looked over to him as he kept his eyes on the road.

“Thanks, Ky.” He smiled and turned on the radio, both of you guys scrunching your faces at the song playing.

“I’ll put in my own music.” After setting up the Bluetooth music, you blasted the volume and you guys started to scream out every word to the lyrics.

What you guys didn’t see was Gray and Ethan next to you guys on the left, and Ethan saw both you and Kyle laughing together and singing. He told Gray that he couldn’t drive when he’s angry, so he had to sit in the passenger seat.

Ethan turned his head back, closing his eyes. “I’m gonna sleep for a while.”

After another 45 minutes, all of you guys arrived at the Airbnb, right on top of the beach. All of you guys put away your things and groceries, but immediately wanted to go out because it was golden hour.

You and your friends put on your bathing suit and headed out while the Gray was preparing the fire and Ethan was getting the s’mores. He looked out the window and saw you in the bathing suit that he loved, and it killed him that he can’t just go up to you and put a million towels over you. He saw you posing in the water and looked to the right to see Kyle taking photos of you. His hand clenched the bag of marshmallows in his hands and he huffed out.

Gray came up to him and got the bag of marshmallows before he could squeeze all of them. “Hey, you just need to talk to her. And trust me, Kyle wouldn’t do anything.” He went out and put the bag down in front of all of your guys’ friends and he sat down.

“Hey Gray?” He looked up.

“Yeah? What’s up?”

“Don’t you find it weird that Y/n’s hanging out with Kyle?” Her question made everyone else’s head turn to you and Kyle on th beachside laughing while taking more pictures.

He tried to act cool and play it off, saying “What do you mean? They always hang out.” One of your friends shook her head.

“No. She mostly hangs out with Ethan. They’re usually tied to the hip, but they’re literally distancing themselves right now.” This is where he fucks up. Gray can’t lie to his friends even if his life depended on it. He stammers, trying to find a good excuse, until one of the girls widens her eyes.

“Holy shit. They’re dating.” Everyone believes her, since she’s basically a lie detector. Gray shakes his head. “What? No. No they’re not.”

“Gray, you can stop lying. It’s obvious anyways.” Everyone looks at Ethan closing the sliding door with chocolate in his hands.

“Do you want to talk about it?” He put his lips into a thin line and shook his head no.

“I’d rather not.” He heard footsteps coming from behind him and saw you covered in a cover up and Kyle following you looking at the camera.

“Hey guys. What are we making? S’mores?” Ethan nods his head and you quickly glanced at him, not being able to look at him. “Ok. Let me change and I’ll come back.”

Kyle sits across from E and Ethan put his head in his hands.

“I’m so stupid. I don’t know why I never told her that I want to literally scream and shout out that I love her. Probably because I’m too much of a pussy. Like I am right now, because I’m too much of a little bitch to talk to her.” Ethan said it so fast that only a few people caught what he said.

Kyle leaned forward. “Hey. Just talk to her. You need to make the first step, or else nothing will happen.” Ethan nodded and stood up. “And tell the truth.”

He walked into your room to see you sitting on the bed on your phone.

“Hey.”

“Hey.” He sat down and there was an awkward silence for a few seconds.

“So.. are you just gonna sit here or is there another reason on why you came here?” You put your phone down and charged it.

“I just wanted to say that I’m sorry.” He turned his body towards you. “Sorry for saying that I don’t want anybody to know that we’re together, because I do. I want everyone around us know that you’re my girlfriend.”

You smiled a bit and held his hand. “And I’m also sorry for being an idiot.”

Laying down, you opened your arms so he could lay on your chest. “E, I’m sorry for my actions this whole day. From pushing your boundaries this morning and for being so petty.” You were brushing your hands through his hair and he was crushing you, but you didnt want to move.

“Do we really need to move? I never want to move.” Ethan mumbled into your chest.

“No. I think Maria will get the memo and sleep somewhere else.”

You two fell asleep and everyone quietly cleaned up and got ready for bed, hoping that you guys won’t wake up and ruin the moment.

Requests are CLOSED

A/n: Hey! It’s been a while, and there’s still lots of requests in my inbox. It’s quite overwhelming, and sorry if it seems like I’m ignoring, because I’m not. It’s also been hard getting motivated to write, but I’m trying to write as much when I can and I don’t want to rush or push any of my writing, or else I won’t feel good about it. I’m slowly trying to write every request so please be patient!! Also I love you guys so much

#ask #ethan dolan imagine #ethan dolan blurb #grayson dolan #ethan dolan #grayson dolan imagine #grayson dolan blurb

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polar-stars · 4 years

Text

3rd out of an 5 part ask of @smokeprincess24 (sorry that it took a bit)

👹 How does you OC act around different people and how does their personality change to match the environment they’re in? How do they act with: friends, family, strangers, children or their lover(s)?

For the most part, Yasu is just more open and comfortable around people he's close to. He's friendly and polite to strangers, but also rather closeted and he won't expose all too much of himself. Around his friends and family he's just a bit more prone to be more talkative, even joke here and there and just generally be more laid-back so to speak.

🍅 How easily is your OC embarassed? What subjects make them flush and why? What event has made your OC the most embarassed they’ve ever been?

Yasu is not all too easily embarrassed and when he is, he's still rather good at hiding it actually. He blushes mainly at sexual things being openly discussed because he thinks that's inappropriate.

He's usually good enough at reading people and a situation to know what to say…So when someone gives him the impression he said the wrong thing, that certainly embarrasses him as well.

💥 Are there any emotions your OC doesn’t know how to deal with, doesn’t understand or hates having to feel? Any reason behind this?

Answered already.

🏀 Does your OC have any skills that people wouldn’t expect them to have? Do they have a hobby or pass time that others would consider strange or weird? How did they learn this particular skill or pick up this hobby?

The fact that Yasu can dance as well as he can is much of a surprise to quite a few people and not many find out, since he does not often dance anyway and rather sits somewhere at the sides of parties.

He also has aa hidden poetic side to him and writes poems and song texts in secret at times. He himself doesn't consider them good enough though to show them to anyone.

⭐ Does your OC like to sleep alone or do they enjoy sharing their bed? Have they been to any sleepovers? Have they ever been camping? What did they think of the experiences if so?

As I've said already, he did share a bed at times with Chieko when they were really small smols and he never really minded it. It was fun listening to her discussing various theories and stuff she had thought over throughout the day and he liked it.

He does not have all too much experience beyond that, except for having to share a bed with his sister Kasumi at times (which was also not much bother to him since Kasumi is rather peaceful) and he does not think off it as anything special.

🍏 When your OC says “I had a bad day” what does that tend to mean? Is it really as bad as they’re saying or are they being a bit dramatic?

When Yasu speaks about a bad day it's most likely truly, truly bad. He's not really one to over exaggerate and he's also not one to speak up a lot over being upset or something in the first place. So when he actually opens his mouth and says he's having it rough this day? That definitely means that it's serious.

At the same time he doesn't really use this phrase as a way to say "please comfort me" but it's more of a way of telling whoever he's talking to that he's most likely not going to be as polite and friendly as usual….it's an advanced apology in a sense should he maybe snap. In order to avoid such he quickly retreats in his room anyway.

Again…Yasu pushes people away when upset.

🐉 How religious is your OC? Do they pray to any god(s) or do they not believe in that kind of stuff? What is their view of religion in general? Where do they believe people go when they die? If your OC is not religious why not and what do they believe in otherwise?

Yasu was raised to be a Buddhist by Ryoko and does hold on to the religion all his life. But at the same time his beliefs do not really affect his daily life all too immensely.

To him it does still have something comforting though in a sense.

💧 What is something from your OC’s past they’re the most ashamed of and why? What is something they’re really proud of? And lastly what is something in their past that could make them shake with dread?

What Yasu is truly going to be massively ashamed off is yet to come in the future,

Other than that, Yasu is very skilled off avoiding blunders and while of course he was embarrassed here and there there's no real major event so far that truly stands out to him as the most embarrassing thing that ever happened.

🐟 What was your OC like as a baby? What were they like as a child? A teenager? An adult? How do you think they’ll develop ten years into their future? Twenty years? Will they live to old age?

As a baby, Yasu was already more calm than other babies and didn't make all too much tumult; which Ryoko interpreted as a sign for having chosen the right name for him ("Yasu" means "peace, quiet"). He showed an affinity for nature early on and would show himself incredibly happy when Ryoko or Shun would take him outside into their garden or a park or something and set him down in the grass.

As a child he was not really the most social kid around but thanks to his mother he had learned enough polite phrases to get on everyone's good terms. While he did not make all too many friends, he was always pretty well-liked and in the end he always had Chieko as a friend. He ultimately spent most of his time with his parents however (Chieko in the end still lives in Tokyo, while he grew up outside of town and as I said he didn't spent all too much time with his peers in the small town he lives in) and helped them out a lot. His favorite hobby as a child was most definitely the exploration of the forest that's close to the family's house.

As a teen he'd grew into a very friendly and calm young man who does usually not have all too much problems to get on people's good sides. While he's still much of an introvert, he's more sociable and open than he was as child thanks to Polar Star's influence mainly. He also came to idolize his parents however and carries an everlasting fear of disappointing them.

Yasu won't change all too much as an adult, given that he was already rather mature for his age when he was a teen. He will have learned some of the errors in his ways however (like his overexaggerated protectiveness over Chieko) and also his worries regarding his parents will have been eased. I see him getting married rather late in his 20s honestly.

🍇 Does your OC have any bad habits? Does your OC have any addictions like smoking or drinking? How did they fall into these habits and why?

Yasu's major bad habit is definitely trying to gulp down all of his negative emotions because he feels he would be a bother if he were to vent and just let them out. He looks out for other people a good bunch of times but when it comes to his own emotions he likes to ignore them until he's alone with them at night creating the perfect conditions to overthink everything (which does not help…ever).

He also drinks on Polar Star Parties but he can hold his liquor. No one ever saw Yasu drunk.

🔮What does your OC think is their best trait. What is actually their best trait? What about their flaws? Are they one to admit these flaws or do they like to pretend they’re perfect?

Yasu thinks his best trait is his politeness but I'd say his best trait is his care.

A flaw of his is that his own worries, anxieties or envy can cloud his view and his judgement immensely at times.

🌸 What’s a sentence that would make your OC’s day better? One that would make them laugh? One that would make their day worse? Why? What words would you have to say to them to completely ruin their day?

A sentence that can always make his day better is certainly "Can I use your [insert fermentation product here]?" He really wants to support his mother's business on Totsuki and advertises it whenever he cans. It really makes him happy when his efforts pay off.

A sentence that can ruin his day is any sentence that has both "Chieko Marui" and "Shigeo Eizan" in it.

🌷 How much effort does your OC put into their looks? Do they care much about how they’re dressed or what their hair looks like or are they not bothered? Could they be considered a snob or a slob?

Yasu's pretty casual in his fashion choice and is mainly concerned over wether the clothes are comfortable and loose than anything else.

He takes rather good care of his hair though but there's not much else that concerns him a lot.

❤️ What inspired you to make this OC? How long have you had them? How have they changed in the time you’ve been developing them?

Shun/Ryoko was one of my first ships…of course I wanted to give them a child. Yasu is one of my first Fanchild OCs and was created alongside Kimiko, Mika and Hiroshi. He was really tough to design as I had a lot of trouble mixing Shun's and Ryoko's designs. Eventually I came up with the idea to give him Shun's blinding bangs and Ryoko's silkiness but…how exactly that would look changed multiple times throughout the years ahdhd He truly took long to be finalized in that area.

Character-Wise, I decided very quickly that he'd be Chieko's best friend. Because of course he would. It also didn't took me long to characterize him as peaceful, calm and such…given that I had literally named him that.

Over the years he hasn't changed all too much personality-wise. But I went through a lot, a lot of story-ideas with him…many of them very angst.

🧡 What traits of your own do you see in this OC? Are they a little bit self-inserty? Don’t be shy, we all put parts of ourselves into the creations we love!

I do always try my best to be polite, especially in Real Life. I don't think I excel at this as good as Yasu does because I do tend to be inattentive to my surroundings at times but well….It's still something?

I do ultimately prefer the ocean but I also like the forest as well. Also we have a bit of the same view on religion, although we're not part of the same religion ahdhd

What I majorly can relate to in Yasu though is his tendency to always attempt to shut down all negative feelings because I do as well like to pretend that sadness and anger do not exist.

💚 Are you writing anything with this OC or planning on writing anything for them? Do you rp with them or are they just for fun to mess around with?

You gave me asks for them but I'm still into figuring out how exactly to write them ; 7 ;

💗 Ramble a bit about this character!

Yasu can be greatly used for angst but in the end I do want to know him happy. He deserves it.

He'll makes some mistakes here and there but in the end, he's always trying his best. I really don't know how to construct his future really…ovo;; But I hope I'll eventually figure it out.

#Gofer answering to stuffz #Yasu Ibusaki #Shokugeki no Kimiko Stuffz

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jchall110 · 4 years

Text

So ordinarily I would put something like this on my Twitter, as that’s kind of turned into my personal vent/diary platform as of recent, but this is going to be much longer than Twitter can allow, and I need to write this all out without losing my train of thought. It’s gonna go behind a Read More, and I’d like to request that you only read it if we’ve been mutuals for a while, and only if you really want to. I’m not expecting any response, hell I don’t want any responses, I just need to put my thoughts down somewhere, and if I put it in a Google doc or something I’m gonna come back to it later and dwell on it, but if I just put it somewhere and immediately delete it, I’m not going to be able to talk to my therapist about it on Monday. Anyway, content warnings abound, as I’m gonna be talking about depression, anxiety, self-harm, suicide, covid-19, stalking, emotional abuse, and a pretty negative experience I had in a partial hospitalization program at a local mental institute. You’ve been warned. (Also for those of you who are new here, “ignore me” is my personal rant/vent tag, feel free to blacklist it to avoid seeing future posts like this)

So. Here’s a brief recap of the past year and a half in my life. Back in October of 2018, my best friend went through a very bad breakup with her emotionally abusive ex, while another of my friends was struggling very much with his mental health and attempted suicide. I was miserable working at Target and was gearing up to return to school in the Spring. I had also had feelings for the friend who went through the breakup, and she sort of had feelings for me, but she also had feelings for the other friend, and I had some vague kind-of feelings for the other friend as well, so in December we all decided “fuck it, let’s all date.” I won’t recap the full details of the relationship but it was a goddamn shitshow. His mental heath continued to deteriorate and he wasn’t seeking treatment for any of it, her mental health was extremely poor as well as a result of two years of emotional abuse and extreme codependency issues, and my mental health suffered greatly because of the expectations placed on me, as well as his frequent mood shifts where he would go from wanting to spend the rest of our lives together to, at one point, telling me things in an effort to get me to hurt or kill myself. Not a good situation by any measure. School was good, though, and the two classes I took last Spring were excellent, and I was ready to go back to school full-time in the Fall. Flash forward to September of 2019. My mental health is terrible, though my academics are very strong. I decide, after a few specific incidents, that I can’t be in the relationship with the both of them anymore and break up with him. A lot of bad things happened. She ended up leaving him as well. Then, about a month later, she left me as well and moved out of the state with someone she had met on OKCupid only a few weeks prior. At this point I need to take a medical leave of absence from school and move back in with my parents because I’m so depressed and traumatized that I can barely function. You see, since breaking up with him, he had been harassing me, even after I had attempted to get the police involved. He would call me, text me, make new Facebook accounts to send me message requests, anything to try to get in touch with me. So with all of this happening, and with me basically unable to do anything, I decide to look into a partial hospitalization program at a mental institution not far from where I live. Insurance covered most of it, my parents said they’d pay for the rest, so I started the program in early November. Ordinarily it’s only a three or four week program. I was there for at least 5. It was essentially a day program, so I would be there from 9 to 3 every day Monday to Friday. It was a really great program, except for a few things. Firstly, because it was a program both for mental health and addiction, a lot of the programming wasn’t really applicable to me, as the only thing that I’m addicted to is sugar, and I have no plans to break that habit. There’s a history of temporary psychosis caused by mind-altering substances in my family, and I don’t want to even find out if it applies to me as well. I barely even drink. So anyway, I was one of maybe three people who was there exclusively for mental health, so my options for programming were a bit limited, until a bunch of us complained about the repetitiveness of that aspect of the program and they switched things up a bit. Unfortunately it was at the tail end of my time in the program, so I didn’t exactly get much benefit from that. Secondly, and more importantly, close to the end of my time in the program, one of the mental health workers, a pre-doctoral intern who was running most of the “classes” that I was in, said a few things to me that were really frustrating and upsetting. Firstly she said that “ADHD doesn’t exist, it’s just a reaction to trauma. Too many kids are getting diagnosed with it when they just have regular attention issues, and in adults a diagnosis is almost always accompanied with trauma. And of course people are going to perform better when they’re on a stimulant.” Which. Is wrong on so many accounts. First of all, it’s overdiagnosed in the wrong people and massively underdiagnosed in the people who actually have it, especially young girls. And secondly, of course it’s paired with trauma when adults are diagnosed with it. They’ve had to deal with it for their entire lives up until then without knowing why they couldn’t do things the same way as everyone else, and there’s also a lot of trauma in general that comes with having ADHD considering how many people say “Oh, you’re just not trying hard enough” or “You’re just making excuses,” not to mention the self esteem issues that come with it. And thirdly, yeah people will perform better when on stimulants, but does taking a stimulant make everyone else tired? Cuz it does for me because it lets me slow down my brain enough to actually sleep. So yeah, that was fucked up. But the second thing she said was probably worse, and it didn’t actually occur to me how much this impacted me until earlier today when I realized something, but I’ll get to that realization soon. So it’s my second-to-last day in the program. I had gotten almost no sleep the previous night because I had a massive panic attack right before bed because my asswipe ex messaged me some really fucked up stuff. So I’m way out of it, and my ability to concentrate is pretty shit. I’m doing my best, though, and I’m paying attention to the discussion. We were talking about the parts of the brain and how they’re impacted by trauma. There were a few times during that day where I had forgotten words but still knew what I was talking about, and at least one of them had happened in front of this woman. So she asks “Does anybody know what the part of the brain is that connects the two hemispheres?” I say “Oh, I do” cuz I do know what it is, but for the life of me I can’t remember what the name is. (It’s the corpus callosum.) So she looks at me and says, out loud, in front of the entire group, “You know, it’s okay if we don’t know everything.” So I get all flustered and embarrassed and mad at myself because, in my ADHD people-pleaser brain, the teacher just failed me in front of the whole class and now they all hate me. So I don’t say a goddamn word for the rest of the day, and the next day I leave without saying goodbye to that one woman, after leaving a glowing review in the exit survey. So the thing about this that’s really fucked up is that like two days before, I sat down with her and told her how I have a lot of specific trauma around rejection and failure, especially relating to my dad and how he constantly asserts that I don’t try hard enough or that I need to do better, shit like that. Like, that was a major theme with me the whole time I was in the program. It was like, getting over the intense rejection of my best friend/girlfriend running away with a guy she just met, and my relationship with my dad. That was it. (Of the two, the one there that’s still a major thing in my life is my relationship with my dad. At this point, she can fuck off with whoever she wants. I’m more pissed at her than anything else now.) So for her to turn around and embarrass me in front of the entire group like that, when there was solid evidence that a) I did know what I was talking about and b) I was having a very off day was really messed up. In thinking about it, there was quite a few messed up things that she did in the last week or so that I was there. Probably more during the rest of my time there but I don’t actually remember most of it because working on your trauma can be traumatizing itself, go figure. Anyway, I had almost completely forgotten about that until earlier today when I was thinking about how I was getting much more sensitive to rejection and perceived failure recently than I was before all this had happened. Part of it is probably my increased estrogen dose fucking with my mood, but the majority of it, I think, stems from that one incident of her pretty much violating my trust and invalidating me in front of like twelve people that I really trusted and felt close with. Fucked me up, yo. Anyway, so I leave the program and start working for my dad at his machine shop. Things are going super well, I’m making a fair bit of money, keeping in touch with my friends as best I can, and doing my best to avoid my ex harassing me further. About midway through December I change my phone number so that he’ll stop calling me (he had several ways to get around me blocking his number), and in the middle of February I change my name on Facebook so he won’t be able to find me and send me more message requests, cuz there’s no way to stop that from happening either, and the police were useless because “I wasn’t in any physical danger.” At this point he had moved away from my town, presumably back with his parents but I don’t really know, and I really don’t care. So he messages my siblings on Facebook trying to get my phone number, and then somehow finds my Facebook again and sends me a picture of him cutting his wrist. So I get fed up, go to a local domestic violence prevention nonprofit, talk with one of their advocates, and file a restraining order against him. It gets approved, and the messages stop. A court date is set for us both to meet with a judge to discuss everything and see if it needs to stay in place or not or whatever, and for about 2 weeks everything is great. Then covid-19 starts hitting. I get what was probably just the flu or a cold or whatever a few days before the court date. Then the state that I live in announces that most court hearings are postponed until mid-April. I check on the website and find that stalking and domestic violence, among a few others, are exempt from this and will be going on as scheduled. Because I was recently sick, I call the courts the day before and ask if I can appear over the phone. They say yes, it’s all good, great. So the next morning I call in and things get moving. It turns out that my ex didn’t show up to the hearing, even though he definitely knew about it. So I talk with the judge for a few minutes and we decide that I don’t need the restraining order anymore because he’s not likely to start harassing me again, and if he does I can always get a new one or get the police involved. And so far I haven’t heard a peep from him so I’m assuming that chapter of my life is closed for good, which is excellent. But then more things start to close down, and my dad basically tells me that he doesn’t really need me at work and it’s best if I stay home. So since then I’ve been staying at home. It’s been 15 days total that I’ve been home, with only minimal trips to work for an hour here and there. And I really don’t do well with isolation. It’s not all bad, because I live with my parents, so I have some social contact, but as was mentioned above I don’t exactly get along with my dad, I don’t have a lot in common with my stepmom, and my grandmother is a grumpy old lady who isn’t very good for conversations about much else than knitting and Jeopardy. I’ve been doing my best to stay in touch with folks online, and it’s been decent, but it’s still pretty rough. And when Animal Crossing came out and all of my friends started playing it, I started feeling even worse because I’m poor as shit and don’t even have a Switch, and they’re fucking $400, which is a whole student loan payment for me. So I’ve been pretty miserable the past two weeks. To top it all off, I have to register for Fall classes next week, and I don’t think I can even imagine that far into the future right now. The world is supremely fucked, and there’s almost no way that I’ll even be able to afford to go back to school. I’ll probably have to drop out entirely. For at least a few years. And I’m really not ready to give up on school right now. Like I said above, I’m really sensitive to failure, and this is the third time I’ve tried, and failed, at college. And I’m getting real frustrated about it. The first time it was my ADHD, which at the time was undiagnosed. The second time it was mental health and my asshole ex harassing me. Now, when I finally have my ducks in a row, it’s money. The one thing that no amount of treatment or medication or court hearings will change. Plus there’s all the political bullshit going on still, and the impending collapse of society as we know it, and any number of other global crises (yes, that is the proper plural of crisis) going on. Oh, did I mention I’m an empath and the moods and emotions of the people around me, and of the world in general, pretty heavily impact me? I’ve been able to tell when some massive tragedy occurred even before the news story breaks. So yeah, all in all I’m doing about the worst I’ve been doing since high school before I was on antidepressants, and it’s really hard to see any end to this tunnel. I know I’m one in several hundred million people who are struggling right now, and I’m lucky that I’m at least moderately healthy with a steady place to stay and things to eat, but goddamn if things aren’t shit for me right now. Like I said, I’m not looking for any kind of response, and if you even read all of this I’m legitimately surprised. I just needed to put this all down somewhere because keeping it in is getting to be almost too much.

Don’t worry, friends. I promise you I’m safe. I’m just scared, lonely, and really lost right now.

I love you all.

#ignore me #i promise you I'm safe #don't worry about me #and if you are worried send me a message like tomorrow or something and I'll prove to you that I'm safe #long post #don't reblog

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corroded-cofffin · 6 years

Text

Don’t Go, I Can’t Do This On My Own || Pairing: Steve Harrington x Reader

Warnings: None, maybe angst?

I’m a messss anyway this is from a prompt from this list. It’s “Please, come with me.” I’ve been slowly working my way down this list. Most of them have been Steve so far lmao

You were dying to leave Hawkins as soon as possible. You hated your family and you hardly had any friends. It didn't bother you because you knew as soon as you could you'd leave the damn place.

Steve Harrington was the one person who made this hell hole tolerable and even now he was in a sad jerk mood because Nancy broke his heart or some shit. He wouldn’t talk much about it.

You hated that you were gonna add on to that hurt. So you shoved your acceptance letter to NYU in your binder and ignored it for the rest of the day.

“Let's go to Benny’s after school. I'll pay and you can vent or mope. Whatever.” It had been two weeks since whatever the hell he had been doing at the Byers and he still wouldn't tell you what happened.

It had been a week since Nancy and Jonathan started holding hands in the halls and kissing when they thought no one was noticing. (Its high school someone is bound to see and spread that gossip like wildfire.) Billy had kept on teasing Steve relentlessly, though this was the least of Steve's worries, and you had to tell him you were leaving soon.

All in all things weren't great for Steve, he agreed to go to Benny’s with you though.

After school he drove you over there listening to a sad mixtape you assumed he made himself.

He put on a front for the kids and Nancy. Said it didn't bother him.

When you got to Benny’s you began talking to him like normal.

“So I saw Mike Wheeler with some new girl? She have anything to do with your adventure you refuse to tell me about?” you still tried to pry info out of him.

“You know I don't want to talk about that. I will eventually just not now. It's like everything is happening so fast I haven't had time to wrap my head around anything.” that was the most he spoke on the situation and you understood to an extent.

“I can't believe Nancy and Jonathan like...it hasn't been long enough and I feel like Nancy was with you long enough to tell when you're lying about your emotions. What is even up with her?” You just wanted him to let some of it out, he was going to explode if he kept it in, and the only way to get him to talk is to put some pressure on him.

“Leave Nancy alone it isn't her fault.” You ignored him.

“Isn't it though? She strung you along. All that time. For what? Nancy was my friend too. I'm allowed to be appalled at her actions, which were wrong, even if you aren't.”

He sort of nodded in agreement. He started patting his pockets. “Forgot my wallet.”

“I said it was on me.” You answered and he smiled.

“I'm not gonna make you pay for me. I know you're trying to save up.” He knew you hated Hawkins, but you always talked about maybe doing some community college classes before moving on.

He didn't know your home life got worse. He didn't know that you couldn't wait to leave.

He excused himself and went to his car. You were mindlessly playing with the sleeve of your jacket when he came back looking pissed.

Your brows furrowed together, “What's wrong?” he silently slammed your letter on the table.

Your face felt hot as you noticed other customers looking towards you guys. He was making a scene.

“What the hell?” he said simply, but loudly.

Your voice was low, “Steve, please, can we talk about this...somewhere else?”

“Why?! You don't care about these people! Or this town! Or…” he took a deep breath as if he didn't want to say what he was going to say next, you were standing at this point, eyes searching his face, your hands twitching and aching to reach out to him. He finally finished his statement before walking out, “Or me.”

You were in shock. He really said that to you. You couldn't move even as you felt all eyes on you. Tears were forming. You swallowed harshly and willed them away.

Finally someone spoke, “Um, don't worry about the bill it's okay.” It was Benny and suddenly your embarrassment came back full force.

“I-I am so sorry.” You stammered out. You snatched the letter off the table before storming out of the diner.

Surprisingly Steve was still there. In his car, his hands gripping the steering wheel so tight his knuckles were white.

You walked over and peered into the window. “Steve...I have so much to say and yet I can think of anything.”

“I was gonna leave but then I thought how will she get home. Who is gonna take care of her?” he looked like he was about to cry and it broke your heart. “who's gonna take care of her in New York?” He swallowed and you felt tears threatening to form in your eyes as well. “Who's gonna take care of me?” he finished and finally looked at you.

“Steve…” you exhaled and steadied your breathing. “I-I don't want to leave you. You're the best part about this garbage town. You're the best part of my life.” You wished you were in the car speaking to him. You wanted this to go so differently.

“Then why?”

“You always knew I was going to leave.” You responded simply.

“I know-” he slammed his hand on the steering wheel. “Fuck.” he said he was crying now and it fucking tore your heart up. He cleared his throat. “I just thought I had more time. I thought I'd have time to convince you to stay.”

You were sad, mad, and a mixture of confused. Steve had been hiding things from you and had been pretty tore up over Nancy lately. He had been distant, you never thought Steve felt this strongly towards you.

“I'm getting in the car.” You said and quickly got in. You guys didn't look at each other and sat in silence for a while, both of you regaining your composure. “I hate it here. I hate the kids at school. I hate my aunt and uncle. They hate me. I hate the weird shit that no one will explain. Like the stuff with the Byers kid or why Barb went missing and suddenly her death is discovered. Things seem off here and I don't like it. I want to be happy and I know I won't be here.”

“Even if it was with me?” he asked finally looking over at you. He looked hopeful.

“I'm usually always happy with you, but I can't stay here. Steve, you were just moping over Nancy.”

“You… you're misunderstanding. Yeah, it was a little upsetting when her Jonathon decided to be more...public with their relationship, but I've had time to get over that stuff with her. It's all the other stuff I'm having trouble with.”

“Which you don't want to talk about.” You sighed. “I'm not saying you have to.”

“So, do you want to hear something embarrassing?” he suddenly changed his tone. You looked at him skeptically but nodded. He let out a large breath. “I'm sure you remember the Halloween party and what I told you about the bullshit speech?” you nodded again. “I ran into Nancy while...things were crazy and I told her to go with him, Jonathan, and she told me that I deserved to be happy too and I needed to talk to you.” You lifted an eyebrow. “I didn't ask her what it meant for a while. I asked her about a week ago and she laughed and called me an idiot, which was….hard for me, but she told me she had never felt like she could commit to me because I always loved you.”

Your heart stopped. Just from the story you knew he had feelings for Nancy, it was obvious, but maybe you could believe he had feelings for you. At least at one point.

“You still care about her.” You said and he nodded.

“But if she left I would get over it. It would be fine. If you leave I'll be devastated.” So maybe he did have stronger feelings than you thought.

“There's a solution to this.” You said and you saw hope in his eyes.

You sighed because you know he would never agree. “What is it?”

“Come with me.” his face fell and you began crying you couldn't hold your tears back anymore, “

.” You were almost begging but you couldn't help yourself.

“I...you know I can't do that to the kids.” You wanted to be selfish. You wanted to remind them they had parents and each other and Nancy and Jonathan and Hopper, but you didn't.

You just nodded and tried to stop crying but you couldn't. “I want to.” he said sounding helpless.

“I can't stay here, Steve.” You said with finality.

You both faced forward. He started the car and began driving.

“I know you can't stay here and as much as I want you to I guess I won't ask again. I won't have you resenting me over something as dumb as Hawkins. I'm sorry I can't go with you.”

But you can, you wanted to say. “I am too.” You said instead.

“Stay with me? Until you leave?” he said quietly.

“Like...at your parents house?”

“They're never home and when they are I can say you're just staying the night or whatever.”

You were shocked and your first instinct was to decline, but you thought about staying with him or with your aunt and uncle. He was definitely better company and it was only a month.

It also could make things more difficult for you two.

“Okay. Yeah.” Your mouth said before your brain could talk you out of it.

“Really?” he said excitedly.

“Yeah. Fuck it.” You said with a smile.

So you stayed with Steve Harrington for a month. His parents came home twice and didn't even mention you.

But you and Steve were getting closer and closer all the time, which you had thought impossible considering how close you two were before all this.

One night, a week until you were scheduled to leave, you guys were eating dinner and watching a movie.

“I'm going to miss this.” he said it absentmindedly.

You smiled at him, “me too.”

When you were done eating you guys snuggled on the couch, a thing that had been happening a lot, a thing you immensely enjoyed.

“Can I tell you something?” he said into your hair.

“Of course.” You responded instantly.

“I...want to tell you about what happened with everything.”

You almost gasped, but stopped yourself. “Okay, tell me whatever you're comfortable with.” You replied.

He told you everything. What happened with Will and Barb and what happened recently.

You immediately thought he was lying, but he was serious, and emotional. Your gut told you he wasn't. You sat up and looked at him.

“You've been keeping this to yourself all this time? No wonder you were such a mess. That's a large load for one person.” You responded.

“But it was all of us. We all dealt with it.”

“But they all have each other and the kids rely on you. There was no one to take care of you.” You frowned and wished he would have told you sooner. Your hands ran through his hair, an attempt to soothe him.

He smiled a little smile. “I survived just fine.”

But he was still sad. You could tell.

“You're incredible.” You replied simply unable to word what you wanted to say.

But that made him smile wider and he wrapped his arms around you.

“You're the incredible one.” he whispered and kissed your cheek.

You guys spent the rest of the night cuddling and fell asleep watching a movie.

The night before you were scheduled to leave you began freaking out a little. It was exciting and scary. When you noticed Steve leaning in the door jam watching you pack you felt sad.

“Fuck, I don't know what to say as usual.” You said throwing some clothes into a suitcase.

He laughed at you. “No goodbyes right now. I'm just trying to memorize every detail about you.” You rolled your eyes and ignored the blush you knew you were getting.

“I'll visit. As much as I hate this town I love you.” You said and your eyes grew wide as you realized what you said.

There goes your mouth again, not letting your brain catch up.

“You...love me?” you scoffed and rolled your eyes.

“We always say that to each other Steve.”

“But this was…” you finally glanced away and continued packing. “was it different?” he asked and you sighed.

“I guess, yeah.” You said not wanting to have this conversation.

“I love you, you know it took me quite some time to get used to the idea of falling in love again, especially with someone who won't be in the same state as me.”

And there it was, the whole reason you didn’t want to do this.

“I don't think we should go down this road.” You said still packing.

He grabbed your hands and you reluctantly looked at him. “We aren't. You're going to be too far away. I'm not suggesting we try to make this work.”

“Then why do this?”

“I need this last night with you. I needed to know.”

“But this is going to hurt you.”

“I'll survive.” He smiled at you and finally kissed you.

Your world seemed to fade away. You completely melted into the kiss, it was slow and tender, full of love you didn't even know was there. Your hands wrapped in his hair and his held your face. You felt the kiss lasted a lifetime.

He pulled away and you kept your eyes shut and attempted to steady your breathing. Your eyes finally fluttered open and Steve was just staring at you like you were the greatest thing in the world.

His thumb was stroking your cheek. You suddenly wanted to stay. Knew that you wouldn't.

“This is a mistake, Steve.”

“I need this night with you.” he responded and that was enough for you.

You guys kissed and cuddled all night, talking through the night. You were going to be exhausted tomorrow but it was worth it.

When it was getting into the early hours of the morning he got a little more serious.

“I think if you stayed, and this is just a scenario, we'd have a little two bedroom house, and we'd do game nights or movie nights with the kids and Nancy and Jonathan. You'd become a novelist, and I'm going to school to become a nurse-” You shot him a look he hadn't told you he wanted to do that. He looked slightly embarrassed, “Yeah, it's something I've been thinking about for a while. I want to help people and not like Hopper does or anything I've done enough of that.”

You smiled at him, “Okay finish your story.” You desperately wanted to hear the end of his fairy tale.

He chuckled. “After we got steady on our feet with jobs and had a nice amount of savings we'd plan our wedding. It would be a small thing but I think you'd want something elegant, just seems so you.” You rolled your eyes. “Maybe we'd have kids but who knows.” he stopped there.

When he started you loved hearing it and towards the end...your heart sank. He had put a lot of thought into this. Into a life you could have had together.

“Do you want to hear the scenario if you come with me?” You asked and he nodded. “at first we get a small studio while I finish school. Unfortunately we're both going to be working shitty jobs to pay our bills, but after I graduate I'll get a better steadier job with pretty good pay. You could also go to school to be a nurse and start that. When we saved enough we find a nicer apartment or maybe a small house. I kind of want a house so we can have a small garden. We'd get married in spring. Maybe have a kid, not several. We'd come and visit everyone here and if we had enough money fly them out to visit us. I'd be happy.” You finished finally.

You guys basically just made yourselves sad. It felt good to say though.

“I'll visit you as much as I can.” You said quietly.

“It's alright worry about your future. I'll be here.” You didn't know how to respond to that you just cuddled closer to him.

You fell asleep, got a couple hours then you were up and he was driving you to the airport. Your heart was pounding. You wanted to cry. You also wanted to clap with joy.

It was a conflicting time.

He got out and walked with you a bit.

“So here we are.” You nodded, unsure of what to say. He sighed. “Don't worry about me. I'll call you and you can visit. If I ever get steady income I can visit. I will visit.”

“But...are we together? What's going on?” you didn't want to ask but you did.

“I...don't think we should do that. I think we should just wait until we figure things out a bit more.” You nodded.

“I think so too, but I need you to know I love you.”

He smiled at you. “of course I know that. I love you too.” You guys shared a small kiss before you left to get on the plane.

You wanted to go back and beg him to come with you. He'd miss everyone but you guys would be happy.

You glanced back at him and he smiled and waved.

You returned it.

You couldn't be that selfish. You couldn't ask him to change his whole life because you couldn't deal with a shitty family in a shitty town.

So you turned around and left.

#steve harrington #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington x reader #stranger things #stranger things imagine #my stuff #writing stuff

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specialmindz · 6 years

Photo

CA-THINK!

Gaster opened the door to the nursery, looking tired and annoyed.

“Sans, could you PLEASE keep your brother quiet? You have one job.”

The young Font nodded but didn’t bother telling him who was really responsible for the noise. Even if Flowey WAS trying to avoid Papyrus and only Papyrus, Sans could already predict what would happen if he ratted him out.

He’ll be a jackass and leave the air vent...assuming I can get Dad to believe there’s a talking flower in there to begin with.

He waited for his father to leave the room, but curiously, he did not. Instead, the scientist pulled on something behind him, apparently trying to bring something heavy through the nursery door.

“Don’t bother lending me your assistance or anything Sans. That would just be too much.”

“i thought i had one job?”

Grunting, Gaster finally pulled the thing he was struggling with into the room and sat it where Papyrus’s crib used to be...much to the baby bone’s dismay.

“DIS is my new cwib? Dis piece of cap right here?”

“It’s not a piece of crap, and you should be grateful for whatever you get.”

Sans looked at the new crib, if you could even CALL it new that is. The addition was gross. The metal sheen had long since worn off, leaving it rusty and bare, and some of the bars were missing to the point where the remaining might as well have not even been there. It was definitely in need of at LEAST a mattress and it was definitely from the Dump.

“this looks dangerous dad...”

“You buy dis wit food stamps?”

“It doesn’t matter, this is all you’re getting.”

“We poor now? We got da’ poor?”

“you don’t catch poor, baby bro. it’s not a disease; who told you that?”

A cough emanated from the air vent.

“Does dis mean I can eats at the Dump now?” asked Papyrus, ignoring his brother.

“Absolutely not! We aren’t poor-”

“Then you should buy baby a new cwib...cause’ I’s not sweeping in dat one. I needs my cwib to be cushy for mah tushie!”

“Then you can borrow. my. FOOT, because I am NOT scouring the Dump for another one just so you can ruin it.”

“Imma tell da’ king you’s trying to give baby tetnis.”

“Rust doesn’t cause tetanus, so go right ahead.”

“Imma tell da’ king you’s trying to give me da’ poor.”

“Are you done? You’re either sleeping here or in the toy box, end of discussion.”

CA-THUNK!

Gaster left the nursery, closing the door behind him.

“UCK YOU DOUCHE DADDY! I’ll SWEEP AT DA’ KING’S HOUSE! NYEH!”

Papyrus rolled onto his back and kicked at the new crib with both feet angrily. “NYEH NYEH NYEH!”

CLANG CLANG CLANG!

“hey bro, quit it!”

“NYEHHHHHHHAAAHHH!!”

CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG!

“KNOCK IT OFF BRAT!”

Papyrus instantly stopped and glared at the air vent.

“Yell at me again. Yell at me again, Dirt-Butt and see if I don’t shove my juice box up your juice box.”

“What? What does that even MEAN? Is that supposed to be scary or...?”

“i think he just threatened to shove his juice box up your vagina Flowey,” said Sans chuckling.

Damn bro, where’d you hear that?

“Oh, oh yeah? You think your tough huh? Thug life straight out the womb?”

“I’ll slaps you like yo’ mama should have, nyeh heh heh!”

A growl was heard from within the air vent, and to Sans’ surprise, Flowey emerged and jumped out...immediately face-planting on the carpet.

“UGH! WHAT THE HELL?!”

WHERE’S THE FRIGGEN’ CRIB MATTRESS?!

“Ooooh, you’s small as hell Dirt-Butt! You slip right through the holes!”

“you alright lil’ guy?”

Flowey got up and looked behind him. There really WAS no crib mattress! He hadn’t been able to see it very well through the grating he slipped through, but now he could tell just what a piece of crap it truly was.

Had he a soul, he might of felt bad for Papyrus, but right now all he felt was hate for the lazy good-for-nothing who’d unintentionally fooled him into embarrassing himself.

Gibberish-speaking FREAK! Who does he think he is, disobeying MY dad like that?! I KNOW he was ordered to look after these two. Does he think he can just do whatever he wants just because he’s the royal scientist?!

“Oh you poor baby! Your dad really DOESN’T know how to be a good parent does he?”

“...”

“You can’t sleep in this...you SHOULDN’T have to sleep in this. Maybe staying at the king’s house is not so bad an idea. He lost his two kids you know, that means he has two free beds that aren’t being used...”

“so?”

“So I’m sure he wouldn’t mind letting you stay with him when he hears about this. He LOVES children, maybe you two should pay him a visit?”

Heh heh heh...

“you’re talking about running away.”

“It’s not ‘running away,’ it’s visiting a lonely old man. Think of how sad he must be! All alone in a big empty house...his family destroyed...”

“Awww, dat’s sad. Isn’t dat sad Snas? We should go visit Fluffy Buns and give him a hug. Erybody loves a hug from a good baby!”

“don’t..don’t call him that bro.”

“I bet he’d LOVE a hug from you. It’d probably make his whole day.”

Come on...come on you dumb little-

“sure, whatever. maybe dad’ll take care of us better if he knows we’re willing to leaf.”

YES!!

“That’s great!” said Flowey ignoring the pun. “He’s gonna be soooo happy! The king I mean.”

HA HA HA HA! SAY GOODBYE TO YOUR JOB, NERD! Maybe you can find work at a funeral home somewhere, HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

...

Why DOES he wear black all the time?

“Yaaay!” Papyrus bounced up in down on his rear end excitedly, picturing he and his brother cuddling up together in the giant bed.

His old crib and the toy box were too small for Sans to fit into, but this one would be different. He had actually seen the bed before while exploring the Underground and it was exactly like the one in Goldilocks and the Three Bears! Not only would it fit them both, but they could roll around too, without the fear of falling out in the middle of the night. He missed being small enough to hug Sans while he slept...

“Less go now kay’? Right now.”

“wh-now? pap, it’s nine at night-”

“Then it’ll be a surprise!” said Flowey quickly. “It’ll be like Present Day for him, trust me.”

Sans gave him a skeptical look, but said nothing. He didn’t believe for a second that Flowey had their best interests in mind, but he felt a need to avenge his brother somehow.

Besides there was nothing worse than unproductive laziness. If someone wanted to do something half-assed then they needed to make sure they were successful, otherwise it was just sloppy work.

“alright everyone, hold onto me.”

“Uhh, no. Thanks but no thanks Trashbag. I’d rather stay here.”

So I can see the look on that freak’s face when he gets that phone call, heh heh heh...

“GACK!”

Papyrus grabbed Flowey’s stem and promptly put him in his mouth like a dog carrying a bone, then he lifted his arms up, signaling to his brother that he wanted to be carried too.

“heh, alright lil’ guy. hrrup! let’s get outta here.”

“EW! EW-HEH HEWWW! SMILEYYY, HE’S DROOLING ON ME! GET HIM OFF!!”

“E gots to take Fuffy Bunny too, Nas!”

“you want to take your fluffy bunny book? why? that thing’s evil!”

“Nah if ooh find Fuffy Bunny...”

“OH GOD I CAN FEEL HIS TONGUE, AND HIS BREATHE SMELLS LIKE BABY FORMULA! I CAN’T BREATHE!!”

Picking up the strange book, Sans closed his eyes and pictured as hard as he could exactly where he wanted to go.

It was always hard to keep his mind focused long enough to teleport as he had an imagination more powerful than most, but this time, not only was he unfamiliar with the destination, but he had Flowey screaming in the background.

It’s going to take me awhile to clear my thoughts with this weed distracting me and making me wanna laugh.

“could you please stop screaming? i can’t concentrate and if i make a mistake...”

“NO I WON’T STOP YELLING, I DON’T EVEN WANNA GO! GET YOUR DISGUSTING BROTHER OFF ME!!”

Sans sighed and tried again. Obviously Flowey didn’t realize how bad the consequences could be if he were to mess up. Usually when he traveled like this he would error and wind up in the location, but not the exact place he was thinking of. When he went to Waterfall, he’d sometimes find himself in the water near the docks, ruining his cellphone, or on top of one of Undyne’s favorite rocks, making him try it again just so he could get down safely. He always had a constant fear of ending up stuck in between a wall or building and he NEVER teleported to Hotland.

Sucks that I live HERE of all places. There’s lava everywhere, and the walkways are so narrow...

“Nyeh? I e no go et?”

“uh, sorry pap. i was thinking about hotland. it sucks that i can’t just take a shortcut there. i have to walk all the time...”

“Oh my GOD, you’re lazy. So what if you can’t teleport to Hotland!? You can get to the lab just fine!” exclaimed Flowey, tired of screaming.

“yeah, but it’s at the BEGINNING of hotland-”

“There’s nothing there.”

“but what if i wanted to go for some reason?”

“THERE’S NOTHING THERE SMILEY. Can we go already?! The more we wait the more petals I have to tear off and regrow. Your idiot brother’s obviously not going to put me down-”

“Nyeh heh heh...”

“OR CARRY ME WITH ONE OF HIS TWO FREE HANDS, so-”

“papyrus, take him out of your mouth.”

“Kay’.” Papyrus removed the plant from his between his teeth, clutching him in his tiny fist.

“good boy pappy. hey, uh flowey, i don’t suppose you have a picture of the king’s bedroom or maybe the other kid’s do ya’?”

“Wh-NO! NO I DON’T HAVE PICTURE’S OF THEIR BEDROOMS!” cried the flower incredulously. “WHY WOULD I HAVE THAT?! WHAT KIND OF A CREEP DO YOU THINK I AM?!”

“the kind that hides in air vents and watches children.”

“...”

“I gots one!” cried the baby bones excitedly pulling a photo out of his onesie. He handed it to Sans smiling triumphantly.

It felt good to be useful.

The image itself was dark, but still clear. A picture of the king’s room...or at least his bed anyway. In it lay Asgore, sleeping peacefully after a hard day’s work next to a figure he couldn’t quite make out. Sans wasn’t sure when it was taken, but if his highness wasn’t losing sleep, then it had to of been before he lost his family. Nowadays the king looked like he wasn’t sleeping at all.

The other figure must be his wife.

“Why do you have that?”

“I gots anudder one too, just in case he be seeping.”

Papyrus pulled out another photo. This one had was of the kid’s room, though it was a close-up of only one of the beds within. In it lay a sleeping goat child in green, clutching a blanket in one of his paws.

“...”

“They smell like grass big Buther.”

“I want that photo.”

“*pfft!* heh heh ha ha ha! papyrus you can’t-heh hee hee! you c-can’t just take pictures of people pappy, especially their kids-”

“Why not?! Dis my friend and he fluffy as hell!”

“Give me that photo.”

“it’s illegal, that’s why! even if they don’t put babies in jail, they can STILL find this when you’re an adult, and you’ll STILL get in trouble.”

“Nuh uh! It says on da’ back when it be taken. They gonna know I tooks it when I’s widdle, and cause’ they know babies don’t know any bedder, I won’t go to jail.”

“You’ll go to hell if you don’t give me that photo you little creep...”

“well you still shouldn’t have it. we can’t use these anyway, the kid’s bed is too close to the wall and the king might be asleep.”

“But...I do not wish to sweep in da’ trash cwib...*sniff*” The tiny skeleton dropped Flowey and wrapped his arms around Sans’ neck, burying his head in his hoodie sadly. He had been waiting for a new crib for a long time now, and this was a massive disappointment. There was no way he could sleep in that rusty junk heap, but a toy box was no place for a baby either.

“Nyehhh...”

“aww, *tsk* don’t cry baby bro...tell ya’ what, we’ll give it a shot, how’s that?”

The baby bones nodded and looking at the picture, Sans took his shortcut.

“HEY ASSHOLES, YOU LEFT ME BEHIND!!”

#fonttale #Fonttale au #Undertale #Undertale au #sans #papyrus #kid sans #baby papyrus #flowey #baby bones

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sivellelavellan · 6 years

Text

Apricity: Chapter One

Read it here or on AO3 if you’d like.

Liam Kosta x fem!Ryder

Description: The irrational emotion of the moments between the big milestones are the warmest, tinged like gentle hands on cold reddened cheeks. Apricity (n): the warmth of the sun in winter. About earning names and finding heart and maybe home in the vastness of an uncertain galaxy. These are those little, vibrant moments.

Havarl’s charm was not for everyone. It was a lush, tropical world with a sky that seemed to remain a perpetual deep, dusky purple. Time would drift by with dreamlike inconsequence, marked only by the slight changes in the rhythm of the rain. There was always a relentless downpour, thick sheets of water slicking any available surface with the same ethereal sheen that hovered over all the towering vegetation. It was though Kiasa had stepped into one of Scott’s childhood far-too-enthusiastic coloring books, with imagined vibrancy exploding off of the page and voracious life eating its way out from between the lines.

She tried to push away the thick ropes of hair that plastered to her cheeks as she watched Taavos through the scope of her rifle from a nearby ridge a few thousand feet ahead. Liam and Vetra were jogging to keep up as their Angaran escort pushed forward at a punishing pace, taken over by a trance-like fervor that left him glassy in the eyes and single-minded. She guessed it helped them get to the vault, but when she spoke to him he unnervingly reminded her of the dementia patient that shared her mother’s room in the hospital. Taking a lookout suited her better. Vetra seemed unaffected, her loping step matched Taavos’ with ease, her manibles clicking in interest as she studied him. Their comms were open and she could hear the turian’s relentless questions.

“… I mean it isn’t really Zorai that you’re remembering right? Maybe something subliminal you picked up when arguing with the sages?”

Kiasa smirked to herself and pressed her fingers to her comm button, “Vetra leave the poor guy alone, I think he’s having enough of a crisis as a non-believer already.”

“Ryder, this guy’s been another person before,” Vetra’s voice crackled back, rain shushing them both in the background, “Suvi’s going to have a field day.”

She snorted and brushed a few strands of hair out of her mouth, “I feel like you’re trying to prove him wrong.”

“I’m not. What if this Zorai buried treasure somewhere? Or relics? A priceless cache?” she could almost see the sparkle in her friend’s eye.

“That you can sell? I should have known.” she tried tucking her side fringe behind her ears only to have it fall right back into place, “Avela’s getting any priceless relics before you get to pawn anything off, Vetra.”

“We’re trying to make friends with them.” Liam’s voice came low and frustrated through the line, “We can’t go steal the native people’s sacred stuff. Human history has a lot to say about that.”

“Nothing will be ‘stolen’ that has any cultural significance,” the turban’s mandible clicked back through the static, “But if there’s a bunch of old weaponry or ‘I heart Havarl’ sweatshirts lying around we could have something better than nutrient paste every night if we trade with the right people.”

“Can someone ask Jaal if Havarl was the kind of place you ‘hearted’?” Liam sounded smug. She had to stifle a giggle.

Vetra ignored the comment, “I can hear your hair in the receiver, Ryder, do you need an elastic?”

“You’re kidding, you found the one I lost in the crew bathroom yesterday?” Kiasa laughed.

“No.” Vetra’s eye roll crept into her tone, “I bought a bunch the last time we were on the Nexus because I know you always forget to bring them out with you. I’ll send one up with Liam.”

Liam’s voice chimed in with false annoyance, “I’m not the errand boy here.”

“Our Pathfinder’s depending on you.” she could hear Vetra rustling through her hip belt.

Liam’s soft “Tch” and his affectionate head shake tugged her lips up slightly.

“Mom!” she exclaimed playfully, “I don’t need you to keep looking out for me.”

“We need to take a break anyways, Taavos needs to think about which direction to head.” she heard some further disgruntled mumbling about her ungratefulness and how hard it was to find basic necessities before the line went silent.

She wiped her hands on her thighs for whatever good that did to help her grip on her rifle. She wanted to like the rain. When she was young it was something she only saw in vids, as the Citadel environmental screens on the Presidium always seemed dead set on being a picturesque walk in the park. It was why she liked climbing in the vents with the children from the wards, slingshotting washers at the mercs below. She was the best shot. Scott was better at warping cups and watching the drunk patrons stumble around confusedly. There was less— constancy amongst the hissing steam, away from her father’s caffeine fueled pencil scratching, equations and code scattered in crinkled paper around him. Her family hadn’t been broken, just— needed some greasing at the joints. Some water in between the cracks to make it all less…

She noticed an Adhi creeping up behind Liam, as he neared the base of her little cliff pocket, its head bent low to the dirt. The droplets reflected light in a way that camouflaged its soft blue scales. She had only seen it because its orb-like eyes had set off a movement sensor on the digital interface of her scope.

“Kosta, your six.” she said, hearing the comm crackle back to life “I’ve got it”.

She watched him turn around, a soft spray of water flying from his shoulders. White light flashed into her field of vision as she felt something hot and sharp in the back of her head.

The way droplets arced off of the white face of his arm guards triggered a memory of tent flaps snapping wildly in the stormy gusts when she went backpacking with her father in the Sierra Nevadas. It was one of the few circumstances before when she saw her father unreserved and laughing, water pelting them both as they tried their best to tie down their tents. His hands would cover hers as she tied the knots so her fingers wouldn’t slip. The whole of the Ansel Adams Wilderness could hear as she and Scott sprinted along the banks of Chittenden Lake in the dark, shins muddy and hands full of edible fungi. They were eighteen years old at the time, and the rain turned them back into children.

She felt her finger tug the trigger, with only a vague sense of where the Adhi actually was and heard Liam shout “Oi!” into the comm.

She shook her head and sat back away from the gun, loosening the straps on her breastplate so she could breathe, “SAM? Was that what I thought it was? This trigger hurt more.”

“Pathfinder,” SAM’s voice rang out in her mind, “It appears you have unlocked the second of your father’s blocked memories. You can access it in SAM node on the Hyperion.”

“Noted.” she heard the sizzle and pop of a jump jet nearing, “Um, SAM, did I hit our crisis specialist?”

“May as well have.” Liam rose into view and hovered for a few moments before her and she reached a hand out to pull him onto the ledge.

“Would you like to have a targeting training module loaded and waiting for you upon your return to the Tempest?” SAM’s monotone almost sounded dry. It was also broadcast to the open channel and Liam snickered.

“Hilarious, SAM.” she sighed, “Keep it up.”

Liam squeezed in beside her on the tiny rock shelf, his side pressed flush against hers as he rested his elbows on his knees, “You’re the best shot I’ve ever met and you missed me by a hair. You okay?”

She huffed, “You sound less mad than you should be.”

He shrugged, “Figured if you wanted to off me for saying something too annoying you would’ve already. Plus, I’m in a good mood. I like the rain.”

“Jury’s still out on the rain for me.” she began pulling back the sodden locks of hair into a high ponytail and found Liam’s open palm in front of her with two elastics, one black and one a familiar light blue, “I thought Vetra only had one?”

“Yeah” he smiled proudly, flashing teeth, “But I found the one you lost in the bathroom yesterday, by the shower drain.”

“No way!” she picked up the light blue one and wound it around her hair, “I was wearing it when I went into cryo. It made it all the way from the Milky Way with me.”

“So you’re sentimental?” his smile softened but also grew. He wore his heart so plainly and unafraid, it was strange to her.

“As much as you can be without ending up in a dark place knowing you can’t go back,” she said, flinching at the inadvertent disappointment in her tone.

“We’re working on it, Pathfinder.” he said warmly, somehow ever the optimist, “You’re trying to save a dying planet right now! That’s hero stuff.”

“That’s the basic job description.” she said, waving his compliment off, “I’m pretty sure Dad expected it to be working out better than this.”

“So you didn’t answer my question,” he raised his eyebrows, “But it sounds like you’re definitely not okay. I recognized the ‘memory trigger face’ when I got up here.”

She nudged him with her shoulder, “It was a good flashback this time, but sometimes the aftermath is just weird— nostalgia.”

“I get the nostalgia, but I won’t try to pretend I know the splitting headache.” he leaned his head back against the rough face of the rock behind them , “What’s got you about the rain, then? Alec’s monumental expectations?”

“Camping.” she replied more quietly than she intended, “Dad, Scott and I got caught in a thunderstorm in the Sierras and for some reason we all just decided we were going to stick it out.”

“Damn, the Ryder spirit is really something.” he looked at her with an embarrassing sort of softness, “Always chasing something reckless.”

“Yeah it’s probably a bloodline thing” she felt the nostalgia become less heavy in her chest, “Pathfinder doesn’t fit right with me though.”

“You’re doing a massively good job wearing it so far, Eos was a big win.” he leaned forward and retrieved her sniper rifle from its stand, popping the heat sinks, “But if it makes you feel better, something less title-y then?”

“I guess?” she met his eyes, “You have something in mind?”

“Starchaser.” he said without hesitation.

She choked on a laugh, “What?”

“Look the whole ‘Initiative needs you, you’re our only hope’ thing gets you down, I’ve seen it.” he said, seriousness firm in his tone, “But you are something special. I’ve seen your whole face light up when you found some new plant samples to send back to Suvi and Lexi because you care. You weren’t on the original team with me cause you wanted to be your Dad.”

“It could be a nepotism thing, you know.” she scrunched up her nose.

He ruffled her ponytail which earned him a glare, “You’ve earned your team’s respect. We call you by your title to show you that. I think you need something that can fit how incredibly brave and determined you are.”

“I—“ she found herself staring at him, unable to quite figure out what she wanted to say, “Thanks, Kosta.”

He beamed, “But if it’s too much, Starchaser is also good because you ask Kallo to speed up when we get close to a new system.” He raised his hands and placed his palms parallel, gesturing out the two parts to the word, “Chasing. Stars.”

She was suddenly aware of how close he had gotten, her rifle resting across both their laps. He had kind brown eyes that betrayed all sorts of his thoughts. But he was still confusing. It was confusing how easy it was to fall into a comfortable vulnerability with him. She wasn’t closed off by any means, but he was almost too easy to trust. They had only barely begun to know each other and here he was, understanding the root of her insecurities. A fat drop of water wicked off the tip of his hair and dropped onto his nose and she lifted a hand instinctually to brush it off, fingertips grazing his knuckles as he went to do the same. She felt her cheeks get hot and she flinched back, pressing her back to the ridge and feeling the rock ledge suddenly become too small.

The silence that followed was not uncomfortable for Kiasa, but she felt the need to say something to pull back from the edge of… whatever she had just grazed. She turned and saw him lifting her rifle to his eye, fiddling with the scope.

“You should let me take this apart when we get back to the Angaran R&D base.” he finally said, “I have a few ideas for stability.”

“I almost hit you just this once!” she groaned.

“Hey, no disrespect.” he replied, feigning nervousness, “I’ve seen you pick off Kett midair that were dropping out of their shuttles.”

“That rifle is my baby.” she said, taking it back from him, “Scott customized it for me for my 21st last year, right before we joined the Initiative. Or I guess six hundred years ago, damn. He also knows nothing about heavy guns, I just haven’t had the heart to upgrade it or change it in any way.”

“Has it got a name?” he asked, “All the good ones do.”

“Aphelion.” she smiled inadvertently, “The point farthest from the sun. Super appropriate for the journey and disgustingly thoughtful. If you ever get to meet Scott he’s got romantic literally emanating off of him.”

“Next time we’re on the Nexus maybe?” Liam sounded strangely hopeful.

“Yeah, I’d like that. He’s probably tired of just hearing my voice all the time.” she felt something hard settle in her stomach.

“Definitely not.” he replied gently.

She turned to see him studying her, kneading his thumb into one of his palms. He looked troubled, like he wanted to say something else, but looked away and leaned into her shoulder with a little more weight. She lifted her hand to her comm button, “Vetra, where are we at?”

“He’s just kind of staring into space, Ryder.” she could hear the frustration simmering in the other woman’s voice, “It looks like it’s hard on him but I have no idea how to help him. Reconnecting with past lives is way out of my job description.”

“Awesome, if he needs anything let us know.” she punched Liam in the arm who turned his loud laugh into a deep cough.

“Alright, I’ve been soul-baring”, she crossed her arms, “It’s your turn to tell me something about you.”

He looked thoughtful, “Okay… I have less complicated feelings about the rain.”

“Oh?” she shifted so that she was cross-legged and facing him.

He lifted his hands behind his head and let his legs dangle off the edge, “The neighborhood kids and I would set up dodgeball games in the alley behind my flat complex in London when it rained. Peckham wasn’t the best place to run around at night, but for some reason the rain made it feel safer. It made all the colored lights from the liquor store down the street look fuzzy— painting like.”

“Do you miss it?” she considered it for a second and then ever so slightly leaned her temple against his shoulder. It was at the perfect height.

“We’d get soaked and I’d always lose and end up with a bloody nose because some of the bigger kids wanted to cheat.” he hadn’t shifted away.

“I’m not surprised. Trying to get everyone to cooperate.” she felt fondness bubble into her chest.

“Yeah, scrawny kids like me are protected by the rules.” he had turned so his chin was resting on top of her head, “Made me a good cop even if I was always out to bend them a little.”

“Bloody nose, though?” she stared at his hands, resting loosely in his lap.

“I punched a guy in the stomach for saying he wasn’t ‘hit’ when he was and it just— jiggled. I guess my nose was less ready to absorb impact.” a laugh rumbled across his shoulders, “Okay but that wasn’t my favorite part about it. Afterwards, I would come home and my Mum just knew. She would have a clean towel and hot chocolate waiting. And she’d let me wipe up the blood and add two giant marshmallows.”

“You were always causing her trouble, huh?” Kiasa closed her eyes and focused on the sound of the rain and how warm he was.

“She never made me feel like it”, she could hear the tiniest wobble in his voice, “She used to sing this ancient, 1980s soul song.”

They were quiet for a moment, and then she felt the notes hum pleasantly in his chest before he started to sing. He had a breathy tenor voice, with a liquor-like sweetness in the timbre, “Oh baby you, you got what I need. You’re like everything I need. You’re like medicine to me.”

She almost didn’t say anything, but then sat up and brushed her fingertips at the corner of his jaw, no hesitation this time, “You sound sad.”

He forced a smile, “I liked marshmallows. We don’t get marshmallows out here.”

Vetra’s voice buzzed suddenly crackled, almost too loud, through the comm “We’re ready to go. Taavos thinks we’re ten meters from the entrance, actually.”

Liam seemed to break out of his gloom and stood, offering a hand to help her to her feet, “After you, Pathfinder.”

She took his hand and felt the pleasant moment of lightness as he pulled her up, then stepped off their tiny ledge, “Let’s see what this vault has got for us.”

Liam’s hollering bounced throughout the vault chamber and rattled uncomfortably across the comm along with pops of gunfire, “Solve the Puzzle! Solve the Puzzle! Solve the Puzzle!”

He was sprinting towards an assembler with his double omni-blades bared like jaws, landing on top of it and stabbing it through the head while throwing a grenade at an observer behind it. The Remnant had crawled out from the cracks in the walls, like giants, angry, red robotic spiders with death beams. Kiasa was running with nullifiers trailing behind, rockets exploding to her left and right as she felt her feet lift from the ground from the force.

“Shit.” she growled as she was flung forward and her rifle went skittering to her right. She yanked her pistol from her hip and flipped onto her back, aiming bullets right through the particle barriers between the — eyes? lights? of the remnant bots. She fired two precise shots and the machines exploded in a crackle of electricity before her.

“Liam.” Vetra hissed, “Yelling it more doesn’t make it go faster!”

She scrambled to her feet and slammed her hand down on the console with three pylons in front of it, feeling it warm to her touch and emit a beam of light that hit and weakened the barrier between the inner vault and their current, unfortunate position. She leapt over a barrier and unsheathed the Asari sword that Cora had gifted her with, cleaving a breacher in half on her way to retrieve her rifle. As she swooped down and picked it up, Kiasa shoved the scope up to her eye and knocked out two observers that were advancing on Liam’s six.

He whipped around and threw her a thumbs-up, voice filling her helmet through the comm, “Killer shot!”

She laughed and bolted for the final console, watching as Vetra blew two more assemblers to smithereens, their clicking and sparking deaths accented by a “Woohoo!” from Liam. He aimed an overload at an advancing observer behind her and it screeched as it became engulfed in electricity.

She heard him victorious in her ear, “Got your back, Vetra!”

The Turian scoffed back, “Don’t expect any profuse thank yous.”

The chuckle in his voice was slightly breathless, “Wouldn’t dream of it.”

She had to shove herself into the console to slow down and pressed her hand to its cool, hexagon etched surface. The beam of light this time slowly began dissolving the the silver barrier as she heard two more sizzling explosions to her right.

“Get ready!” she ordered, reloading and snapping an ammo clip into place.

“Always am.” Vetra jogged over and set up to cover her flank as they jogged forward.

Kiasa pat her friend’s forearm with a nod and gestured for Liam to watch their back.

Just as the Observers appeared to bar their access to the final reset button, Liam’s voice drowned out the first shot she fired, “You know, you didn’t seem to know the song we discussed earlier. You can tell a lot about a person by what they listen to. What did you jam to?” This was accented by a roar of jump jets as he propelled himself into two newly alerted assemblers.

She slung a bolt of biotic energy over her cover and it collided with Vetra’s concussive shot, creating a shockwave that knocked back an advancing nullifier, “I don’t know I was never a music person. I liked— podcasts.”

“Breacher!” Vetra growled as she wrapped her hands around its arms and shoved it towards Kiasa who cleaved it half with her sword, “Isn’t there a better time for you two to flirt?!”

Kiasa cleared her throat, inhaling slowly as she lined up a shot across a line of breachers that drifted into view several meters away, “Who’s flirting?”. She exhaled sharply as she pulled the trigger and all three shuddered and fell to the ground.

Liam ignored that, “You’re a sixty-year-old trapped in a twenty-something body, yeah? Podcasts. Incredible.”

“Show your elders some respect. Toss me an Overload!” she sent an incinerate at Liam’s perfectly timed attack and they burned the remaining cluster of bots, “Quarians had some pretty cool stuff to say about dextro-conscious baking.”

“Nerd. I’m also two years older than you,” He made his way to her and tugged off his helmet, a thin sheen of sweat on his forehead that he wiped off with the back of his hand, “I’m gonna make you a playlist when we get back to the ship. I promise you’ll have some actual good stuff stuck in your head.”

She rolled her eyes as they walked to the console together, “If you include Krogan heavy metal in it I won’t miss my shot next time.”

“Oh you know I will now.” he said, his eyebrows pulling together as he stared at the interface, “Don’t know how you comprehend any of this gibberish, though.”

“I don’t.” she placed her hand down, “SAM?”

“I am beginning to interface now, Pathfinder.” the AI’s voice shifted into her implant as she pulled off her helmet, “Stand by. Reset in one minute.”

“Killer smoke, more like.” she glanced over to the door and waved at Vetra, “Reset in one, you got that?”

Vetra raised her assault rifle in acknowledgement, “Prepped to run.”

“Hey, Ryder?” Liam leaned in. She noticed how much taller he was for the first time, realizing he had to bend down to catch her gaze, “Thanks. For listening earlier. I didn’t mean to unload.”

“I think we both needed to get some things out in the open.” she smiled up at him, “You have a good voice.”

He was infuriatingly sincere. She didn’t have to know he meant it, or that he would respect her boundaries. He was just solid. Somehow comforting in a whole onslaught of desperation. He was as excited about the uncertainty as she was and it felt natural when punched her shoulder lightly in acknowledgement. The greenish glow of the console danced over his features and she couldn’t help but admire them, but stopped that train of thought as quickly as she could. She didn’t know what to make of him. Just that she liked him being around.

A low hum vibrated under their feet and the moment broke as she heard Vetra yell, “We need to go, Now!”

She vaulted over the console and felt her muscles straining against the sprint. She felt her omni tool ignite as she slammed her fist into a Breacher that flew into her path, watching it burn to ash and dissipate as she barreled through. Glancing over her shoulder she saw Liam hurdle over a low-lying pylon, a rare exhilaration spreading across his face. He was having fun. And in a way so was she.

Kiasa had almost reached the deactivating console when she felt her rifle come loose from her back and clatter to the ground behind her. She turned and saw the smoke begin to engulf it, her heart skipping a beat as she lurched forward. She stopped short when felt her shields sizzle angrily. Biting her lip, she whipped around and pushed hard for the interface, breath coming in pained gasps. Her comm suddenly lit up with angry hissing noises and she heard Vetra yelp in surprise at the overload of stimulus.

“What the…?” she planted her hand on the console just as she saw Liam come charging out of the blackened, swirling mess. The field retreated as she felt SAM lock onto the interface. Liam’s shields were fried and he was breathing hard, his jump jet pack intermittently flaring and looked mangled. He smacked it and it sputtered off. But he was holding Aphelion, the barrel smoking and slightly skewed from nearly being melted by the vault reset. She felt her heart leap to her throat and squeeze tight there, furious and frantic sentences buzzing in her head.

She stalked forward and placed an angry hand on his chest, almost choking when she reassured herself that he was solid and in one piece, “Who the hell do you think you are, Kosta?” She was surprised by how hot and sudden the anger was. It made her legs weak.

“Not fair. I knew you’d be devastated if it was gone, so I went back.” he seemed earnestly taken aback by her reaction.

“Does this look like I’m not upset?” she had to take every ounce of self-control to keep herself from punching him.

“No?” he ventured.

She turned around stalked towards the gravity well, too incensed to trust herself to say anything. She could hear him calling “Pathfinder” and running behind her. The weightlessness overtook her as the disembodied lights snaked between her fingers and around her torso. She felt the anger slowly seep away as she ascended, letting it leave behind a lot of questions she didn’t want to answer. He was her team, the closest thing she had to family right now. But that wasn’t just normal fear when she saw the smoke shrink away from him. It was knowing that if she hadn’t reached the button he would be dead and she would have been the reason. Why would he even try a stunt like that for something so trivial?

She heard Vetra’s amusement in the open comm line, “Go ahead, I’m going to look around for some salvage that Peebee asked for, first. You’re going to get a pistol pointed in your face when you get up there.”

“I know it.” Liam replied.

The rush of air from the surface smelled clean. She took a moment to orient herself as she felt her feet regain solid ground, and then walked outside. Her breath caught as she looked up into a cloudless night, the stars of the universe scattered like spilt marbles. The flora seemed to glow more intensely now, colors sweeping out before her in arcs. They had been under the oppressive rain for so long she had almost forgotten what clear skies looked like. Havarl would heal. She couldn’t help but feel giddy at the thought of that.

She felt her lips tug downwards the instant she felt a gentle hand tousle her ponytail.

She looked up to find Liam holding her rifle in one hand with his other nervously scratching the back of his neck, “Look—“

“Thank you.” she said, “For getting it back.” She took it from him and felt cool relief at the weight of it in her palms.

“That— was more civil than I expected.” he said, crossing his arms over his chest.

“It means a lot, but I’m still pissed.” she snapped, “That you would even think to risk your life for something I could have replaced.”

“It was important to you…” he began.

“You would have died if I didn’t press that button on time.” she cut him off, “You think for a second I would rather have a sniper rifle over your safety? What kind of leader do you think I am?”

He raised his hands and sighed, “Okay. You have a valid point.”

“You are important to me, Kosta.” she relented, finally laying it out plain since he seemed to be too dense to get it otherwise, “You getting yourself killed would be devastating.”

He clamped his mouth shut and his eyes widened in surprise. She wondered if she had overstepped. There had been so little time to understand him— to feel this connected was more than disconcerting.

“I’m sorry.” he replied simply.

“Just. Be more careful.” she huffed and sat down, pulling her knees into her chest. He joined her, mirroring her posture and sitting just close enough so they were nearly touching.

She decided to forgive him for now, mostly for his sincerity, and changed the subject “You know, I never noticed that when you looked up before the vault was active, you couldn’t see the stars.”

He nodded, “I had started to take the overcast as just part of the planet’s environment.”

“Do you think that the terraforming is deliberate? That there was somebody from whoever built the Remnant that was charge of deciding what planets would look like?” she tried to trace out constellations but lost them in the density of pinprick light.

He shrugged, “I mean the amount of bioluminescence here, somebody must’ve been glow stick happy.”

She had to smile at that, he made everything sound so wonderfully inane, “But I mean to decide what the place would look like from scratch… you could make it uniquely yours. A home perfect for you. The vaults could do that for us, maybe..”

“You’ve got a sure as hell romantic way of looking at it. Guess that’s what makes you the Pathfinder.” he teased then looked up, starlight reflecting in dots in his irises, “It’s easy to get lost trying to find a new home… we would kinda settle for anything. But I hope we don’t lose the idea of what we want our place to be. I have no idea what kind of planet I’d come up with.”

“I think you’d want to place with sunset colors in the sky more often than once a day.” she remembered how excited he’d been, sitting on the roof of the armory in Podromos on their first night at the outpost. He’d called her up to join him and rambled senselessly about bad movies until the last oranges were no longer visible in the sky. She’d decided she could be good friends with him then.

“You wouldn’t be wrong. I’ve got a thing for sunsets.” he beamed, “And you’d want more sunrises.”

“I didn’t even mention—“ she turned to find him looking at her.

“You are not as quiet when you get up as you think you are.” he chuckled, “Shared bunkhouses mean some private things fall through the cracks. You’d disappear every morning at 0400 when were were crashing at Podromos.”

“I could have been up to nefarious things.” she pouted.

“Nah, too straightedge.” He mused, “Plus I went running around then, got into early morning endorphins with one of my HUS-T1 team members. Anyways, always catch your silhouette, kind of perched on the wing of the Tempest, facing east.”

She felt herself blush, “Didn’t know you paid attention.”

“You don’t hide who you are, Ryder.” he reached over and brushed his knuckles lightly over her jaw, pushing her face away playfully, “And I appreciate that. It’s refreshing to have someone to be open with.”

“Mm,” she scrunched her nose up at him, “Well can’t have sunrises without sunsets.”

Something dangerously close to affection settled in his eyes as he reached over and tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear.

“Liam’s, not dead!” Vetra called out as emerged from the vault tucking a few bits of Remnant tech in her pockets, “Too bad.”

“Ay.” he glared, quickly dropping his hand to his side.

“Well if the squad’s all in one piece we should go. Let the scientists know they have a planet that won’t die on them.” their turian companion gifted them with a rare smile, “Nice work, Pathfinder.”

She grinned at Vetra and then shoved to her feet, turning to offer a hand to Liam, “You’re soft, Kosta.”

He accepted it, his grip was firm but gentle ,”I’ll take that as a compliment.”

“It was.” she said, letting go and feeling strangely buoyant.

“You know you can call me by my first name?” he said.

She thought for a moment, then replied, “Only if you’ll stop calling me Pathfinder.”

He nodded, “Sure. Okay.”

“Then… Let’s, go, Liam.” his name felt natural to say. As if she had been holding it back.

He grinned, “On your six, Starchaser.”

#Liam kosta #liam x ryder #rydam #ryder #mass effect andromeda #kiasa ryder #starchaser

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curiosity-killed · 7 years

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merliro au 1/???

There are monsters in the deep. There are humans with piercing harpoons and fish with strange lures – but there are also monsters. Looming, leering, they wait beyond the reef, in the shadows of sea caves and the rifts of ancient trenches. Their shape changes with each story – sometimes towering and thunderous, sometimes slight and swift as a shark. But always, always, one thing remains. ‘Don’t go into the deep, Takashi,’ his mother had said with fierce solemnity. ‘It’s not safe out there. Monsters live in the deep.’ He’d nodded, promised her he wouldn’t go in the deep, and darted away with the other minnow-like children. As he grew older, the monsters faded into myth. There was so much to learn, so much of the ocean yet unmapped. There was danger out there, oh yes, always. But it was composed of real threats, of pressure and chemicals and predators. ‘Monster’ was just a catch-all for the things people once hadn’t understood – the vents and nets and snares. He promised his mother he’d be careful on the voyage to far-flung Kerberos, but he laughed at her fear of monsters. Now, he grips his spear tight and wishes he could apologize to her as around him, the arena roars.

“Relax, Pidge,” Shiro says. His hands, mismatched, are planted on her shoulders. Despite his efforts, her electric-green fins are all flared and her tail writhes beneath her. “I need to finish!” she protests. “Look, I’m one tide away from completing it.” “And how long have you been awake?” Shiro counters. She looks away, crosses her arms. Shiro waits. “Two moons,” she finally mumbles. Shiro sighs, disappointed but not exactly surprised. He can’t really scold her without feeling like a hypocrite; he can’t remember the last time he actually slept through a full tide without waking and patrolling away his nerves. Still, he’s an adult. He can handle his faulty sleep schedule. She can’t afford the same erraticism. “Your project will be here after you sleep,” he says. “I’ll have Hunk put it somewhere safe.” “Hunk will try to change it,” Pidge complains. “Fine,” Shiro says evenly. “I’ll have Lance and Keith move it.” Pidge blanches, the fight fleeing her body. “Hunk can move it,” she says quickly. Shiro raises his eyebrows and gestures back towards the barracks. “Do I need to escort you?” he asks. She rolls her eyes and flips backward, sending a hard wake directly into Shiro. He rides it out with a disapproving frown but waits until he sees her tailtip disappear down towards the sleeping quarters before turning around and swimming back into the lab. Bioluminescent bacteria illuminate the lab as everywhere in the castle, but a separate light comes from Hunk’s work station, purple and eerily unnatural. Shiro knows it’s ridiculous, but he still approaches with caution. His body remembers too well the pain associated with that virulent shade of violet. “About ready to sleep, Hunk?” he asks. Hunk jerks in surprise, gold fins flattening to his thick tail and back. When he realizes it’s only Shiro, they relax again and he offers an abashed smile. Shiro brushes it away, tail swaying a little to keep himself afloat. “Yeah,” Hunk says, “let me just power down.” He does so with the kind of precise speed that comes from familiarity, and Shiro watches with a stomach-twisting mix of guilt and pride. Already the paladins have adapted so thoroughly to this new life, this new home. They learn so readily, so eager to jump forward into this adventure. They don’t know what waits for them, out there beyond the castle’s coral walls. They don’t know the horrors to which Shiro has brought them. “Does Pidge have a spot for her projects?” Shiro asks, pulling himself back to the present. Hunk snorts a little, blowing a stream of bubbles out of his gills. “A spot?” he jokes. Shiro lets him lead the way to Pidge’s workspace. The project is illuminated by the same cyan bioluminescence as the rest of the lab, and it turns the sleek carbon sides of it a watery teal. It’s small enough for Hunk to lift it easily, and he waves Shiro off when he offers help. “Nah,” he says, “we don’t know how your arm would interface with it, and if it gets messed up…” He widens his eyes and lifts his eyebrows, and a grin sneaks over Shiro’s face. Pidge is territorial in a way neither of the other Holts are. Were. He flinches at the thought, the smile vanishing from his lips. He trails after Hunk, the purple of his tail throwing strange shadows under the blue of the lab. The project is placed carefully on a shelf in the back of the lab, a thick sheet dropped over the front to seal it off to the rest of the world.

Unlike Pidge, Hunk doesn’t object to their informal curfew. He swims alongside Shiro, a polite distance apart, and chats with a cheerful ease. They say goodnight at Hunk’s door, and Shiro swims down to his own room. It’s closest to the entrance of the hall, no doubt so the Black Paladin could take control of the situation as quickly as possible. Inside, the room is nearly identical to when Shiro first entered. A sleeping cove, neat and clean, a set of shelves, empty, and a small corridor to a private bath. Within this corridor is a storage nook, and inside, the clothes Keith gave him when they found Shiro. He tugs off his armor briskly, ignoring the way it tugs on his fins as he pulls the sheath from around his tail. There are releases he could press to loosen the armor before pulling it off, but this is faster. Anyway, it doesn’t hurt that much. He tidies the armor on the shelves, makes sure the other clothes are neatly stacked. These are far less formal or restrictive than the armor; they came from some Keith had and are only work clothes, not royal equipment. When both sets of clothing are settled in neat stacks, he pauses to debate whether he ought not clean the armor. It’s not as if he did anything much in it today; their training session was thankfully void of bloodshed. But…

But he doesn’t want to sleep. Or, rather, he doesn’t want to try to sleep when he knows he won’t succeed. Insomnia is as constant a ghost as his nightmares and memories of the arena. It plagues him with urchin-like pricks, anxiety a toxin that slithers violet through his veins. Sleep is no longer a comfort but a collapse; it greets him with sudden blackness and missing hours and turns from him for days afterward. He dreads it for its darkness, its gaping loss of time, and he is terrified of its absence, the sloppiness and mistakes it brings. He cannot afford the forgetfulness, impulsiveness, and slowness brought on by sleep deprivation. With the lives of the younger paladins, and the security of the entire reef resting on his shoulders, mistakes are impermissible. His hands, mismatched, fall from the armor that’s already more than neat. He stares at it, biting down into his lip. The glossy ‘V’ stares back. Finally, reluctantly, he gives in. Shutting down his prosthesis, he works through the familiar process of releasing all the many hooks that slide harpoon-like through his flesh and connect to the nerves deep within. A trickle of blood drifts up through the water, but it’s smaller than the time before and the time before that. Resting the prosthetic on the same shelf as the armor, he turns to wrapping his arm in blue-green kelp. The salt stings a little as it seeps into the still-healing ports. He drifts towards the sleeping cove, reluctance turning his movements sluggish. He curls up half-heartedly, tail looped around itself so the tip fans out over his hip. He nestles his left arm under his head and stares, unblinking, at the sealed door. Maybe, just maybe, sleep will come if he pretends he isn’t looking for it. The water washes gentle over his skin, recycled through the castle’s complex vent system. Deeper in, he knows, the Alteans sleep in air pockets to keep from drowning. They flooded these rooms solely for the paladins’ comfort, though Shiro sometimes finds it jarring, still, to breathe through his gills. He spent so long without using them in the arena that he nearly grew accustomed to having them lie still and flat against his neck. Now, they flutter gently with the lapping water. He shifts, rolls onto his back. The ceiling is dark above him, the lights recessed an arm’s length above only a diffuse glow in the water. He sucks air in through his gills and breaths it out through his mouth, releasing a stream of bubbles. As the bubbles pass the lights, they turn briefly iridescent – turquoise and cyan and teal in a shimmering sphere. They pop before they reach the ceiling. “Fuck it,” he groans and rolls out of the cove. His tail unfurls as he falls through the water, and he catches himself easily at swimming level. He debates pulling on clothing for a long moment – it would be easier to pass his patrol off as an infrequent thing if he doesn’t bother – but he relents and tugs his armor back on. He’s grown used to the weight of it, the way it presses around him like a bind. His prosthetic burns a little, as always, as the connections are remade. The door hushes open in a quiet stream of bubbles, and he slips through. Always, always, this is a furtive vigil. He cringes at the thought of discovery. It’s an embarrassment, though he can’t exactly explain why. Perhaps it’s that old guilt, that, after all the lives he ended, he doesn’t deserve the kind of sympathy and pity that might be offered. He is the Black Paladin, a defender of innocent lives, but that has not washed away the blood of those innocent lives he failed to protect. It would take centuries, eons, he thinks, to wash away all that red. The halls are long and empty, filled with only water and the blue of the lights. His shadow is thrown against the ceiling and walls like a living thing, amorphous and wriggling. His gaze shies from it, turns instead to the far end of the hallway where it intersects another going the opposite way. When he reaches the nexus point, he flicks his tail to take him down the righthand path. He changes it up every night, too wary of predictability to stick to a habitual route. He’s alone in the hallway for long enough to settle into a semblance of comfort. Every thing is in order: the doors are all sealed, the training gladiators powered down, the command deck empty. He turns from these and starts down a new corridor. He’s cautious of these hallways, the ones they don’t venture down in the day. There are echoes here from voices long-dead. They whisper around corners and down long and empty corridors. Shiro pulls his mind back and refocuses on the other noises of the castle instead. It is an old castle, and its creaks and groans are not solely imagined. It settles into the sand with the aching gravity of a shipwreck. He wonders, idly, if someday it will simply collapse; if the sandy seabed will, little by little, consume its glossy floors and high-arched ceilings. Almost as quickly, he brushes those thoughts away. His concern is not possibilities but reality. Now is all he can control. There’s a noise to his left. Shiro freezes, tail coiling in tension. His prosthesis hums to life, purple glow brightening in the shadows of the hall. The noise comes again, along with a soft vibration through the water. He can’t quite distinguish the source, but he can tell the location. Twisting around, he dives down the hallway. The castle lights are dimmed here, and the path less familiar. It’s not one of the main corridors but only a side one, little used. Shiro tunes his ears to the foreign noise and lets it guide him down the turns and nexuses of the hallway. He swims swiftly, arms pulling him through the water as his tail pushes him forward. The noise progresses slowly through the hallway, and it’s only a few minutes before he’s reached his destination. The hallway culminates in a dead-end with a spoke branching off the left. Shiro tucks in against this corner and peers carefully past, his tail and arm carefully tucked behind the bulk of the wall. Peeking around the corner, he freezes. Galra. A lone Galra swims down the hallway away from him, its broad purple tail swaying back and forth just enough to move it through the water. Shiro sucks in a breath, teeth baring. He moves before he’s made a plan. Launching himself forward, he draws his prosthetic back to strike the Galra and then shoots it forward. It stops mid-swing. The Galra has twisted around, broad hand shooting up to wrap around Shiro’s wrist. They’re much bigger than him, large enough to simply crush him if the water weren’t there. They make no move to do so. “Shiro.” It’s a breath, a whisper without understanding to support it. Shiro’s eyes flicker over the Galra, hyperaware of the strength withheld from the grip around his wrist. With little effort, they could do great damage. “Who are you?” he demands. The Galra’s mouth opens, twitches as if to form words, and then snaps shut. Their ears flatten against their skull a little, brow furrowing. “You do not remember me,” they say. Shiro tugs his arm, and the Galra lets it go readily. Pulling it back to him, Shiro tightens the artificial hand into a fist. “Who are you?” he repeats. “What are you doing in the castle?” “Ulaz,” the Galra says finally. “My name is Ulaz. I come seeking help from the Paladins of Voltron.”

#voltron ficlet #merliro au #uliro #my writing #lmao will this ever end???#probs nah

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spectroamer · 6 years

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SERVERTALE Chapter 14: Fight through the Core, for the Core

Alphys calls Frisk Alphys: S-see that building in the distance? That’s the Core. The source of everything in the Computerworld. It wouldn’t exist without it. While it is giant for us, in the real world, it represents the motherboard of the Computer. That’s where we’re going now. And from there... You can go home. Alphys hangs up. Frisk continues to follow the path until she reaches an elevator. Above the entrance of it, there’s a sign that says R1. Frisk enters the elevator and goes to right floor two. Frisk: How much of the Computerworld have we passed by now? Chara: We’re halfway through... I think. I don’t remember everything perfectly, but I do remember that there will be more guards in one of the next areas, so we’ll need to be careful. Frisk: Well, Sans had a station at Snowdin and Datafall, maybe we’ll meet him soon and he’ll be able to help us out. The elevator reaches its destination and Frisk walks out. the first thing she sees is Sans with his station, which somehow still has snow on it. Chara: Looks like sooner than you think. Frisk runs up to Sans. Frisk: Hi Sans! Sans: hey buddy. what’s up? you’ve already met alphys, i see. Frisk: How do you know that? Sans points to Frisk’s boots. Frisk: Oh, yeah. So, you and Alphys know each other? Sans: yup. we shared a few science projects before i decided that being a sentry is less of a demanding job. Frisk: Since you’re working with the guards, do you maybe know if the rest of the monsters know about me? Sans: well, the news was spreading really slow, at least until your fight with mettaton. after his show aired on tv, everyone found out. i suggest avoiding guards if possible. Frisk: But, you’re a sentry! Can’t you just escort me to king Asgore, or use your powers to teleport us or whatever it is what you always do? Sans: nope, my job here is to only capture you. i would have to inform the royal guards and give you to them so that they could escort you to asgore. Frisk: oh, okay then. Sans: don’t worry kid, i’ll still protect you if it’s necessary. Frisk: Thanks Sans. Sans: no problem. just be careful. Frisk starts walking to the next room. Frisk: I will. ALPHYS posted a picture. Dinner with the girlfriend ;) The picture shows a catgirl figurine next to a bowl of instant noodles. CoolSkeleton95 posted a picture. ARE WE POSTING HOT “PICS???” HERE IS ME AND MY COOL FRIEND Chara: Oh my god, what the hell is that? Frisk: I have no idea. ALPHYS updated status. LOL, CoolSkeleton95! ... that’s a joke, right? CoolSkeleton95 updated status. THE ONLY JOKE HERE, IS HOW STRONG MY MUSCLES ARE. Frisk gets a friend invite from napstablook, but before she has the chance to accept, he already canceled the invite. Frisk: Guess he’s shy. In the next room, Frisk finds another treadmill with three switches. Alphys calls her. Alphys: H... hi...! It’s Dr. Alphys. This p-puzzle is kinda... um... timing based. Y-you see those switches over there? Y-you’ll have to press all three of them within 3 seconds. I’ll t-try to help you with the rhythm! Alphys hangs up. Frisk gets on the treadmill and presses the two switches along the way. She gets ready to press the third switch, but her phone starts ringing and distracts her, making her miss the last switch. Chara: Great, now we missed it. When she reaches the end, Frisk answers the call. Alphys: OK! Now press the third one!!! Alphys notices that Frisk has already crossed the treadmill and the laser disappears anyway. Alphys: H-h-hey! Looks like you!!! Only needed to press! Two of them!!! Chara: Is it to late to go back for Sans? Frisk ignores Chara’s comment and continues forward. Alphys updates her status and says that she won’t be helping Frisk with puzzles anymore, before calling her to say that she won’t be able to help for some time. Luckily, Frisk doesn’t need help, since she is in a room full of steam vents. Frisk: How about we skip this one? Chara: What do you mean, skip? Frisk activates her rocket boots and flies over the whole puzzle to the other side. Chara: Well played Frisk. Frisk: I know. They reach another save point. Frisk uses the save point and keeps getting forward. She keeps getting status updates from Alphys, but ignores them, since Alphys is debating about some type of anime. Frisk stops when she hears someone calling her. “Hey! You! Stop!” The voice of the monster is slightly deep and his walking is loud, sounds like he is wearing armor. Frisk hears another set of footsteps and realizes that they are probably royal guards. When she turns around, her theory is confirmed as she sees two strong, tall, armored monsters. “We’ve, like, received an anonymous tip about a human wearing a striped suit.” Chara: Are they serious? “They told us they were wondering around Hotland right now... I know, sounds scary, huh? Well, just stay chill. We’ll bring you someplace safe, OK?” The guards start walking the other way and expect Frisk to follow them. Chara: Lets just leave. One of them starts whispering something and they both stop. “... Huh? What is it, bro? The suit they’re wearing? ... like, what about it? Bro... Are you thinkin... What i’m thinknin? Bummer. This is, like... Mega embarrassing. We, like, actually totally have to kill you and stuff. They equip their swords. Royal guard attacks! Frisk whispers to the first guard and tells him to be honest with his feelings. Chara: What are you doing? RG 01: Like... what? I don’t get it. The second royal guard suggests a team attack. They both swing their blades at Frisk. She blocks the first blade and quickly moves out of the way of the second. 01 us polishing his face. Frisk swipes away the cooling dirt on RG 02′s armor. His armor is starting to get warmer. RG 01 tries to hit Frisk, but she dodges the attack. RG 02: ... can’t... take it. ...armor... too... HOT!!! RG 02 rips off his chest armor, revealing his muscles. RG 01 starts shivering. This time, both of them attack. Luckily, Frisk’s suit is good at isolating heat, so she isn’t having any problems with dodging their attacks. RG 01: D-dude... I can’t. I can’t take this anymore! Not like this!! Like, 02! I like... I like, LIKE you, bro! The way you fight... The way you talk... I love doing team attacks with you. I love standing here with you, bouncing and waving our weapons in sync... 02... I, like, want to stay like this forever... RG 02 doesn’t respond. RG 01: Uhhh... I mean, uh... Psyche! Gotcha, bro!!! Haha!!! RG 02: ... 01. RG 01: Y-yeah, bro?? RG 02: ... do you want to... get some ice cream... after this? RG 01: Sure, dude! Haha! 01 And 02 look at each other happily and they walk away, completely forgetting about Frisk. Chara: Did you really have to make him take off his armor? That was kinda rude. Frisk: Well, it solved the problem, didn’t it? Chara: I guess your right. Frisk keeps following the path, before she enters another dark room. Frisk: Another cooking show? Frisk hears Mettaton from above MTT: This time, it will be something different. Same plan as last time! Alphys call Frisk again. Alphys: Okay, I’m back! A-another dark room, huh? Don’t worry! M-my hacking skills have got things covered! The lights turn on, revealing Mettaton in some type of set up room. Frisk can’t tell what the room is supposed to represent, since the walls aren’t colored from the other side and Mettaton isn’t visible from her position. Alphys: Are you serious? MTT: OHHHHHH YESSS!!! GOOD EVENING, BEAUTIES AND GENTLEBEAUTIES! THIS IS METTATON, REPORTING LIVE FROM MTT NEWS! Chara: So that’s what this is. MTT: AN INTERESTING SITUATION HAS ARISEN IN EASTERN HOTLAND! FORTUNATELY, OUR CORRESPONDENT IS OUT THERE, REPORTING LIVE! BRAVE CORRESPONDENT! PLEASE FIND SOMETHING NEWSWORTHY TO REPORT! OUR TEN WONDERFUL VIEWERS ARE WAITING FOR YOU!! Frisk plays along and looks for something interesting. She quickly notices the annoying dog and squeals with excitement. Frisk: It’s the puppy! Frisk runs to the dog and pets it. MTT: WHAT A SENSATIONAL OPPORTUNITY FOR A STORY! I CAN SEE THE HEADLINE NOW: “A DOG EXISTS SOMEWHERE.” FRANKLY, I’M BLOWN AWAY. DO YOU WANT TO REPORT IT? Frisk nods. MTT: ATTENTION, VIEWERS! OUR CORRESPONDENT HAS FOUND... A DOG! THAT’S RIGHT, FOLKS! IT’S THE FEEL-GOOD STORY OF THE YEAR! LOOK AT ITS LITTLE EARS, TINY PAWS, FLUFFY TAIL... WAIT A SECOND. THAT’S NOT A TAIL! THAT’S... A FUSE!!! The top of the dog’s tail starts to burn, but the dog seems unharmed and ingores the flame. Frisk: What? MTT: THAT’S RIGHT... THAT DOG... IS A BOMB!!! (NO DOGS WERE HARMED DURING THE MAKING OF THIS NEWS REPORT.) BUT DON’T PANIC! YOU HAVEN’T EVEN SEEN THE REST OF THE ROOM YET!!! The walls of Mettaton’s room fall apart revealing other items on the ground and Mettaton, flying in a red suit. MTT: OH MY! IT SEEMS EVERYTHING IN THIS AREA IS ACTUALLY A BOMB! THAT PRESENT’S A BOMB! The present opens up and Frisk sees a bomb inside of it. MTT: THAT BASKETBALL’S A BOMB! The tip of the bomb pierces the basketball. MTT: BRAVE CORRESPONDENT... IF YOU DON’T DEFUSE ALL OF THE BOMBS... Mettaton flies over to a giant bomb with a timer on it. MTT: THIS BIG BOMB WILL BLOW YOU TO SMITHEREENS IN TWO MINUTES ! THEN YOU WON’T BE REPORTING “LIVE” ANY LONGER! Frisk: Pffft. MTT: HOW TERRIBLE! HOW DISTURBING! OUR NINE VIEWERS ARE GOING TO LOVE WATCHING THIS! Frisk: Weren’t there ten viewers before? As Frisk says that, she notices a small blue flash of energy behind the big bomb. MTT: GOOD LUCK, DARLING!! Just as Mettaton flies away, Alphys calls Frisk. Alphys: D-don’t worry! I installed a bomb-defusing program on your phone! Use the ‘defuse’ option when the bomb is in the defuse zone! N-now, go get ‘em! Frisk: That is convenient. Chara: And suspicious. Frisk starts with the dog and defuses him. The dog barks happily and disappears. Alphys: Great job! Keep heading around the room! Try to go for the one in the bottom-left next! Frisk carefully goes through the lasers and defuses the game, before running the script. She grabs the script to defuse it easier. After that, she flies over the gap to the present and defuse it as well. Frisk jumps over the next gap and defuses the basketball. Alphys: Great job! Head for the center! I’m using, uh, EM fields to trap the glass of water there! In the center, Frisk finds the glass of water on the ground. She easily defuses it. Mettaton flies back. WELL DONE, DARLING! YOU’VE DEACTIVATED ALL OF THE BOMBS! IF YOU DIDN’T DEACTIVATE THEM, THE BIG BOMB WOULD HAVE EXPLODED IN TWO MINUTES. Chara: Yeah, we already know that. MTT: NOW IT WON’T EXPLODE IN TWO MINUTES! INSTEAD IT’LL EXPLODE IN TWO SECONDS! GOODBYE, DARLING! Chara: Didn’t see that coming. Mettaton starts to laugh like a villain, but nothing happens. MTT: AH. IT SEEMS THE BOMB ISN’T GOING OFF. Alphys: That’s b-because!!! While you were monologuing... I...!!! I f... fix... Um... I ch-change... MTT: OH NO. YOU DEACTIVATED THE BOMB WITH YOUR HACKING SKILLS. Alphys: Yeah! That’s what I did! MTT: CURSES! IT SEEMS I’VE BEEN FOILED AGAIN! CURSE YOU, HUMAN! CURSE YOU, DR. ALPHYS, FOR HELPING SO MUCH! BUT I DON’T CURSE MY EIGHT WONDERFUL VIEWERS FOR TUNING IN!!! UNTIL NEXT TIME, DARLING! The cameras shut down Alphys: W-wow... W-we really showed him, huh? H-hey, I know I was kind of weird at first... But I really think I’m getting more... Uh, more... M-more confident about guiding you! S-so don’t worry about that b-big d-dumb robot... I-I’ll protect you from him! A-and if it really c-came down to it, we could just t-turn... Um, nevermind. Later! Alphys hangs up. Chara: I really think we should reconsider our trust in Alphys. Frisk: What? Why? MTT: I HAVE TO AGREE WITH YOUR FRIEND THERE DARLING. Chara: How can you see me? MTT: THIS BODY IS JUST FOR LOOKS. I’M ACTUALLY A GHOST POSSESSING IT. Frisk: Oh. Why do you not trust Alphys? Isn’t she the one who made that body for you? MTT: WELL, I CAN TRUST HER, BUT I’M NOT SO SURE IF YOU SHOULD. AFTER ALL, ALPHYS IS THE ONE WHO GAVE ME YOUR COORDINATES AND I HAVE NO IDEA HOW SHE IS CLAIMING THAT SHE “HACKED THE BOMB” WHEN ALL OF THE BOMBS ARE NOTHING MORE THAN HARMLESS CONFETTI WITHOUT ANY HACKABLE PARTS. EVEN IF THERE WERE ANY, IT STILL WOULDN’T CHANGE ANYTHING IMPORTANT. Chara: And what about that anonymous report those two guards heard? If Alphys is giving Mettaton our location, who says that she isn’t giving everyone else our location as well. Frisk: I guess you’re right. Chara: You should turn off that phone and take out the battery. MTT: THAT WON’T HELP. SHE HAS CAMERAS EVERYWHERE. Frisk: Well that’s just great. At least now we know that we need to keep moving. Thanks Mettaton. MTT: NO PROBLEM. STAY SAFE, DARLINGS! Mettaton flies away. Chara: Alphys will have some explaining to do once we’re done with this. Natalie just left Slasher’s house when he got a call from Kris. Slasher: What’s up. Kris: Ne asked me to send guards to the Computer room. I need you as escort. Slasher: I’ll be there in a minute Kris: Okay. Kris hangs up. Slasher quickly changes his clothes and takes his gear before exiting through the back way with his bike. After a short ride, he reaches Kris’ base and sees three armored vehicles ready to go and Kris. Slasher: Will you be joining us as well? Kris: I need to stay here to command from the communication room. Slasher: Ok, your loss. Slasher points at the drivers. Slasher: You three! You’re going with me. If you’re lucky, this will be a calm ride, and if not... Well, that will be a good target practice for me. Slasher drifts a 180° before accelerating so fast, that he did a wheelie. The other guards start following him. Kris contacts Slasher over their earpieces. Kris: Remember not to drive to fast so that they can keep up. Slasher: Yeah, yeah, I’ll go easy for them. Slasher slows down and the front wheel reaches the ground again. He drives just slow enough that the guards don’t have to be going full speed. While they’re driving towards the Computer room, Ramirez is watching them through some of their cameras. He already called some of his elite members. They’re all wearing armor that is similar to Cobra’s. Ramirez: All of you have been trained by Cobra, but you are under my orders. I need you to wait for Slasher and Kris’ guards to get settled in the area and than attack them from their blind spots. Since Kris is a tactician, you will only have one chance if you’re lucky enough, so you must take them all out with one attack. We have reasons to believe that there is someone trying to free the beasts captured in the Computerworld. Your mission is to check if that information is true. I do not care how you will find the evidence, but I advise that you take out all of the enemies first. If the first attack fails, you will have soldier back up right behind you. Am I clear? “Yes sir.” Ramirez: You are free to go. The elites walk out of Sentinels’ base and take their civilian vehicles for a disguise. They decide to wait on a nearby parking lot for Slasher and the guards to drive buy. When the elites see them, they start slowly following them. After a few minutes of driving, Slasher and the guards reach the Computer room. The elites parked a few blocks before, so they wouldn’t get noticed. While Slasher and the guards check the area, the elites sneak their way to the top of the hangar after Slasher checks it. Slasher: The area’s clear. Are we done now? Kris: Not yet. Set up defenses and stay for a minute or two just in case. Someone might be following you. Slasher: Alright. Slasher looks at the guards. Slasher: Listen up. I want you to cover up both entrances. That means that the three of you are going to cover west entrance while the other three cover the east entrance. Got it? “No problem” The guards split up and do as instructed while Slasher waits in the middle. The elites set up right above everyone. Their leader starts the countdown, opening a window above Slasher. When the countdown ends, they all jump with swords towards their targets. Slasher was the only one who noticed another shadow next to his one, giving him enough time to react, turn around and see the elite leaping towards him. He blocks the blade with his gauntlet and grabs the guard of the elite, pulling him on the ground. The other elites succeeded at killing their targets. Slasher quickly takes out his pistol and shoots the elite he downed and then takes his other pistol as well and shoots two more elites, while the other three block the bullets with their swords and continue dashing towards Slasher. Slasher: All guards down, being ambushed with three elites, should be easy enough. Kris: Don’t count on it, my scouts noticed backup. Slasher pulls in one elite with his grapple and knocks him out with the clip of his pistol and disarms the other one before shooting him in the head. Slasher: Well then send those scouts in! The last elite tries to stab Slasher and slasher dodges the blade, kicks the elite on the ground and executes him with the tip of the grapple. Kris: They’re only for last resort situations. Slasher: I’ll call in some actual help then Slasher calls Ne. Slasher: Where are you? Ne: At Amy’s. Slasher: Too bad. Computer room being attacked. Need help. Ne: What? I was there a few minutes ago. Slasher: Well these idiots attacked right now, and I would apreciate some help before i get rifled here! Ne: Ok, ok, I’m coming. Slasher: Gotta go, reinforcements just arrived. Slasher hangs up. Amy: What was that all about? Ne: Computer room is being attacked, going to help Slash. Amy: I’m coming along as well. Ne takes off the stripes on his sleeves and activates his helmet. Ne: No. You just took your medicine. You need to stay out of action before your soul fully stabilizes. Amy: Fine. Be careful. Ne: I know. Ne goes to the roof of Amy’s house and jumps down on the other side, creates his bike and quickly drives to the Computer room. When he arrives, he sees a lot of soldiers firing randomly. The soldiers are too distracted with slasher to even notice Ne behind them. Ne equips his swords and runs past alll of the guards, cutting their lower legs so that they would be subdued, but still alive before running towards Slasher. Slasher: About time. Ne: You know I like to make dramatic entrances. Ne creates a vortex shield and absorbs all incoming bullets. He keeps the shield up until all the soldiers waste their ammo. When their guns get empty, Slasher gets up from his cover and shoots a few of them, while Ne creates a blue Neon blaster and knocks most of them out with one blast. More cars keep arriving, all of the passengers are elites with swords. Ne engages in sword battle while Slasher continues to dodge and block their attacks before using the blades and the tip of his grapple to beat them. While they are fighting, more snipers get on the rooftops and wait for a clear shot. After every takedown, Slasher quickly shoots one of the snipers before finding cover. After some while, only one hidden sniper remains and a few elites. Ne easily beats the remaining elites with his powers. Slasher: I’m gonna get the hiding sniper. Ne: Alright, I’m gonna find a place to dump these. Slasher grapples up to the top of the building where the last sniper is hiding. When he gets to the top, he notices the barrel of the sniper’s weapon behind a wall. He takes his pistol and shoots the gun out of sniper’s hands. The sniper panics and tries to grab his secondary weapon, but Slasher shoots his grapple at the leg of the soldier and pulls him down when the grapple stabs into his leg. Slasher yanks the grapple out of his leg and then swings it onto his head, killing him and destroying the small camera that was transmitting the video to the Sentinel’s base. Cobra and Ramirez were both watching the transmission. Cobra: Do you realize what you just did? Ramirez: I lost the fight, I am well aware of that. Cobra: This loss is much more than a fight. Too many members went there. If this happens again, we will be beaten and we will have to wait for a new army. I don’t think I need to mention that it is not simple to find a new army. Ramirez: You already failed when you had your chance. Cobra: It’s not about chances anymore. We’re currently forced into a situation were we have only one attempt left. It is obvious that they have someone in the system, since it is so important for them to defend the location. Our last move is to shut down the teleporter while it’s active and we’ll need everyone for that. No more attacks. Ramirez: You’re right about that. After the battle, we’ll need ton start recruiting again. Cobra: Soon, the final battle will come. It will be our time to kill the lights. Prologue Chapter 13 Chapter 15

#Frisk #Chara #Undertale #Undertale AU #Sans #Mettaton #Alphys #Ne #Amy #Ramirez #Cobra #OC #Alternative Timeline

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thepatricktreestump · 7 years

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Saudade: Ch18

That week, you didn’t want to talk to anyone. You just wanted to be alone. Jenna called you several times, sending you texts to see if you were okay or if you wanted to hang out or maybe talk about it, but you didn’t feel like responding. Tyler even stopped by the apartment and got you and Josh Chipotle one night, but you decided you weren’t hungry. Josh kept nagging you at first, oblivious to the fact that anything happened the night of the awards, except for the fact that they didn’t win, you almost fainted, and he got absolutely wasted at the afterparty. After several days of nagging, he decided to leave you alone, letting you mope around on the couch or in bed, and decided to give you some space. You never heard from Brendon after the balcony phone call. You could still hear that drunken voice, telling you that he wanted to do things right with Sarah, that although it wasn’t the end, it wasn’t going to continue anytime soon either.

You blamed it on yourself, really. For getting you into this entire mess. Hell, if you hadn’t even picked up that wine bottle that Friday night, none of this would’ve even happened. You would’ve been fine. Those months while Josh was on tour could’ve just been spent hanging out with Jenna, or picking up a new and exciting hobby, or something healthy and productive. Not going to a stranger’s house and fucking him senseless, picking up new addictions, then lying to your steadfast faithful boyfriend. It made you sick to your stomach. Much less, you took things out on both of them. Especially at the party, where you shoved the two of them aside, rejecting Josh and screaming at Brendon. You felt miserable.

“Babe,” Josh knocked on the door before opening it up, frowning at the sight of you laying in bed. “Come on, you can’t stay cooped up in here forever.”

“I want to,” you groaned, shutting your eyes.

“What’s been up with you?” he wondered, pressing the back of his hand to your forehead. “I know you said you didn’t feel too hot the day before we left for Los Angeles, but if you’re still feeling sick, maybe we should take you to a doctor or something.”

“I’m fine,” you insisted.

“You’ve been ignoring me all week,” he narrowed his eyes. “Did something happen at the party? Jenna and Tyler said you were fine.”

“No, it’s nothing,” you insisted.

“Is it about the internet thing?” he asked.

“The what?” you raised an eyebrow, confused.

“The internet thing,” he repeated. “You and Brendon, those pictures, the awards show scandal. It’s what they’re calling it.”

“Wait. What?” you stared at him, twice as puzzled.

“Here,” Josh pulled out his phone and showed you several articles online that had gone viral, the paparazzi photos displayed proudly, the titles they had come up with making you feel sick. “It’s just them coming up with stupid rumors like always, trying to keep the tabloids going. Kind of like the whole ship thing you know.”

“Yeah,” you took a deep breath. “So uh, what are they saying?”

“I haven’t read up much on it,” he confessed. “To be honest, I don’t want to. I don’t think we should get too caught up in that stuff. Plus, I don’t want to worry you any more than you already are.”

By the way Josh was downplaying it all and how he looked uninterested in the topic, you decided that there was no need to be scared. Josh never seemed to be the type to buy into phony celebrity drama. Plus, he had gotten way too drunk that night to clearly remember anything that went on. “Okay, so uh, what did you have in mind?” you tried to steer the topic of the conversation somewhere else.

“How about you come with me to the studio today?” he offered. “Ty and I are working on new music, Jenna should be there, if not you can keep Mark company.”

“I don’t know,” you shrugged.

“Please,” he insisted. “What else are you going to do? Stay at home and sulk?”

“Fine, I’ll go,” you complied.

The car ride there, it was obvious Josh was trying to make an effort to get you to smile. He was talking nonstop, which you didn’t mind, because you weren’t really in the mood to contribute to the conversation, but it wasn’t exactly an everyday occurrence with him. He also attempted to make several jokes, which were all lame, but you forced out a laugh anyways. It wasn’t that you hated him, or was getting revenge or whatever, but you just felt empty. Sort of like standing in the aftermath of everything that had happened, feeling the repercussions and consequences of your bad decisions, letting the guilt consume you and hollow you out once and for all.

When you got to the studio, Tyler and Jenna were sitting there, happy to greet you. While the boys started down the hall and began striking up a conversation, Jenna sat on the couch on her phone, seeming already preoccupied. You sat down, wishing you had just stayed home. Maybe she knew everything and that’s why she didn’t want to talk to you. Or she was still embarrassed to be seen with you after having to talk you down from that argument you had with Brendon. Perhaps she was just tired. Either way, it was obvious she wasn’t really in a mood to talk, so you stuck to your side of the couch, fiddling with your shoelaces, thinking over everything.

“You okay?” she asked, her voice startling you.

“Huh?” you wondered, glancing over at her.

“You haven’t spoken a single word since you got here,” she pointed out. “It’s okay if you didn’t want to talk, I just uh, I’m here you know. If you need company.”

“Oh,” you mumbled. It hadn’t occurred to you that maybe you were the one who was ignoring her. “I’m just tired I guess.”

“I feel you,” she laughed. “Are you okay though? Josh said you haven’t been out of your room in about a week, he thought you’re sick or something.”

“I’m fine,” you reassured. “I just need a little time alone.”

“Is this about the rumors?” she asked.

“No,” you sighed. “I honestly don’t care about that shit, Josh already tried explaining it to me, it’s ridiculous.”

“Is it…” she took a deep breath. “Is it about the party?”

“No,” you quickly replied. “It’s not.”

“You sure?” she insisted. “Come on, you and Brendon were yelling at each other, and I know even though he was drunk, you hadn’t touched a drop of alcohol all night. Something’s up.”

“Did you hear what we were saying?” you tried to keep your voice steady, the nerves knotting in your stomach, mind racing. Of course she knew.

“I could barely hear anything over Pete’s horrendous singing,” she chuckled out. “But you both looked super angry at each other, I don’t know what about.”

“What do you think it was about?” you whispered, glancing down the hall to see if the boys were going to come back anytime soon.

“About the kiss,” she shrugged. “And whatever else you talked about in the dressing room.”

“Yeah…” your voice trailed off, mind so distracted you couldn’t even come up with a proper fib of an explanation, instead freaking out about all the possibilities and instances in which Jenna might blow your cover.

“Something happened,” she stated. “I know that much.”

“It was stupid,” you shook your head. “I’m better off just forgetting about it.”

“Well, if you need someone to talk to,” she offered. “I’m here. Okay?”

“Okay,” you nodded slowly.

“Sometimes it’s better to confide in someone,” she explained. “If there’s something that’s really bugging you, to the point of you isolating yourself, then I think you should maybe get some help. Or just vent. If you got another opinion on the situation or a little advice then it could make a difference. It’s usually what’s best.”

“Yeah,” you stared at the ground.

“I promise I won’t judge,” she insisted. “We’re best friends y/n, you could tell me anything and I’d still love you. I just want to help. Josh says he tries to talk to you but it’s like you’re not even there. Maybe if it involves him then I understand why you wouldn’t want to open up, but I think you should tell somebody. You know?”

“So uh, I can tell you anything?” you inquired, the words coming out awkwardly.

“Absolutely,” she gave a small smile. “I’m here for you.”

“Well what if it’s something really bad?” you bit down on your lip, daring to look at her. “Like something really terrible.”

“I’d understand,” she persisted. “Or at least try to.”

“I don’t think you could,” you mumbled.

“Why? Did you kill somebody?” she wondered, half joking but also half serious.

“No, it’s not like that,” you closed your eyes. “But it’s uh, it’s bad.”

“Just tell me,” she offered. “I promise I can help.”

“Promise?” you looked at her, broken and hopeful. “You’re not going to tell anyone else?”

“I promise,” she repeated. “Just between you and me.”

“Okay…” you took a deep breath. “I mean uh, I don’t really know how to exactly say this.”

“Take your time,” she reminded. “It’s okay.”

“Well,” you paused, trying to think of where to start. “Josh left for tour a couple months ago and I got super lonely and I don’t even know what happened. I got drunk and I went to a bar and I found Brendon and we had sex and then I woke up. I was super wasted and so he took care of me and one thing led to another. We started sleeping together every night and I lived at his house and we’d smoke weed and drink all the time and it was great, it was. We ended up falling in love and then Josh came home and I felt super guilty. We told each other to forget about it and I ended up being back with Josh. The sex was unfulfilling and Josh was too sweet and whenever I tried to explain to him what I wanted, he didn’t understand or he tried to convince me otherwise. Then we went to the awards show and everything got fucked up and Josh introduced me to Brendon and we had to pretend like nothing ever happened. Then we ended up fucking in the dressing room and we came out and saw you. After the awards I learned he had a girlfriend and then we went to the party and ended up screaming at each other. He called me that night and apologized and hasn’t talked to me since and now, now I’m just so lost and confused. And I love Josh, I really do, but it’s so hard. I love Brendon too and I guess I’m just a mess, Jenna. I have no idea what the fuck is going on and I just feel miserable.” You stopped your rambling and looked up at her, freezing as soon as you saw her expression, mouth agape, wide eyes, staring at you as if she had just seen a ghost.

“What the actual fuck,” she breathed.

“I told you it was bad,” you mumbled.

“Yeah but I didn’t know-” she closed her eyes and reopened them, looking at you. “Holy shit.”

“Yeah,” you swallowed uncomfortably.

“I knew something was up, but damn y/n,” she took a deep breath. “That’s something else.” Jenna had never really been one to cuss, but now, seeing her flabbergasted and all shook up, staring at you like this, you knew you really screwed up this time.

“I know,” you sighed. “I’m in deep shit.”

“No kidding,” she stared you. “How’d you even get tangled up in this mess?”

“It’s that fucking bottle of wine,” you laughed bitterly, looking at her and hoping she’d lighten up, but she didn’t. “Look, if I could change things, I would. But I can’t. I know I fucked up, but I don’t know what to do.”

“Are you going to tell Josh?” she wondered.

“No,” you shook your head instantly. “He can’t find out.”

“Y/n, that’s wrong,” she narrowed her eyes. “He deserves to know.”

“You promised you’d keep this between us,” you argued. “It’s only going to hurt him.”

“Like you having sex behind his back isn’t hurting him,” she challenged.

“Jenna,” your eyes softened, offended. “I didn’t mean to-”

“You had a choice,” she insisted. “You had plenty of choices. I can understand maybe once, but for months on end, and then even afterwards?”

“It’s not like that,” you tried to defend yourself, but she shook her head.

“You need to figure this out,” she decided. “Look, I can try to help you, and I promise I won’t tell anyone, but please. For Josh. He doesn’t deserve this.”

“I know,” you reassured, but she looked at you, hesitant.

“You say you know, but you don’t,” she sighed. “Josh has been there for you through thick and thin and it’s your responsibility to do the same. Make a choice y/n.”

“Hey girls!” Tyler greeted with a wide grin when they stepped into the room, making both of you jump, scared at their sudden presence.

“Hi,” Jenna squeaked out, trying to regain her composure. “Uh, how’d it go?”

“We got a song done,” Josh announced proudly. “It’s amazing. You want to hear it?”

“Definitely,” Jenna grinned, all of a sudden plastering on a bubbly attitude and letting her past worries wash away, getting up from the couch and walking towards Tyler. “Come on, y/n.”

“Okay,” you forced out a small smile, trying to think too hard about what Jenna had said earlier, getting up from the couch and taking a deep breath. “I’m right behind you.”

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taran42181 · 4 years

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Losing Sean to addiction and illness...one year ago......

I’m not sure why exactly I’m writing this. Maybe because there’s not a human on this earth, I can talk to the way I can to a blank page. It’s too many layers of things and just confusing to be honest. I’m writing this with limited editing. For an English major it’s not going to be my best work, but the only way for me to get my thoughts out raw and unfiltered is to not care about the silly nuances of grammar. Perhaps that is why I chose to call this blog “Ramblings” because essentially that is what it will be.

I’m sitting here alone, for the first time in weeks. I’m grateful for the chance to quarantine safely in my home with books, tv, food, water, heat, etc. I’m grateful for the extra family time and extra sleep. However, I need my me time. I can only take so much interaction before I need to retreat for a while.

So what is on my mind..what is on my mind..is that I’m missing my brother. Actually, I’m missing my childhood family as I once knew it. Two gone, One sick and one in another state. Such is life. I’m reminiscent. I cringe typing this, because so many people have it so much worse. So many people have so many more struggles and why should anyone give a damn about what I’m missing? We all have stuff do deal with in life. I feel, I post too much as it is, about my life on social media..but I’ll never stop acknowledging Sean or my dad. I’ll just keep the details of my feelings to this blog. I can write, which I love to do, without being a “Debbie Downer,” Sorry.

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Dear Sean, You are on my mind so much. I got to text with Paul and Eric out in Colorado and damnit, I’m thankful for them. I’m thankful for Rich, too. I’m glad you had friends that loved you for you. Friends that chose you as family. It means the world to me.

I’m thinking of you Sean, because this time last year, you were dying. You were laying in a bed at CMC, struggling to breath. I’m scared of the coronavirus and devastated and anxious for the patients laying in ccu beds on vents and their helpless families. I watched what irreversible ARDS can do to someone and its downright terrifying. It’s ironic that I’m hearing what it does, when just a year ago, I was watching it happen to you.

I tried for years to shield people from your less redeeming qualities; the severity of your mental illness and addiction. It’s so easy for people to judge without knowing the person behind it all. Some people are unforgiving and I wanted to protect you from them. I didn’t see things through rose colored filters. I was tough on you a lot. I was embarrassed and sometimes even afraid for you. I prayed you wouldn’t hurt or kill yourself or accidentally hurt someone else when you were using.

You started out in life as the funniest, happiest little guy I ever knew. You were my best, and for several years, only friend. You never minded hitting record on the cassette player and being my audience when I wanted to sing Mariah Carey and Whitney Houston songs. We walked home from school together every day, and we started neighborhood clubs together. You let me boss you around and played every game I ever asked. You always thought of me when you did things and included me. We both had trouble finding our place in the world at times, but had each other.

It broke my heart when you were 16 and I was 18, and I started noticing you had been acting weird. I had never lived with an addict, and I think it took all of us a little longer than some, to notice the signs. I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you from a bad choice. You made a choice, and honestly I know it was for the sake of peer acceptance, to try heroin. I’ll never forget the day I confronted you and made you call mom at work and tell her you had been using heroin and couldn’t stop. In hindsight that was a terrible decision on my part towards mom.

It would take days, months even, if I were to write about the years between this day in 1999 and April 1, 2019- the day you died. So, I won’t recount all of it. In short, you suffered all those years. We suffered as a family. We discovered you had many physical health issues, some irreparable. We discovered you had more severe mental health issues than the current mental health system was prepared for, and we saw your addiction spiral to an honestly impressive tolerance. I’ve yet to see anyone else compare. I’m not saying that as a good thing, just the reality. You were hurting, you hurt others and it was a vicious cycle. I won’t sugar coat it. You kept your distance and I tried to protect what I could of your reputation when people asked about you. The truth is your mental illness led you to some dark places and with that, you lost many friends and acquaintances. I know some people never knew you enough to form an opinion, other than a bad one. For their lack of insight into your issues, I don’t hold anything against them. I understand why people would judge harshly and detach from someone who was self destructing. However, I’m so grateful for the people that saw past the bad and remembered that there was a kind, compassionate guy in you somewhere. I’m thankful for the relatives that would ask about you, remember you at holidays and not take your isolation personal. They forgave your mistakes. They loved you and that never waivered. I hope you know that. I know you felt shame, Sean. You felt guilty and hated. I also know you just wanted to be accepted. It saddens me that some family chose to not come out here when you died. They chose to NOT be here for mom when you died. They chose to not honor you as a human being. This doesn’t refer to all of them. Only a couple. Some didn’t acknowledge your death at all! I understand and I know you do too. It’s hard with families and jobs and I hold no ill will. It’s hard, especially coming from out of state. Some of themy expressed their condolences and I was grateful. Some though, judged you and didn’t like what you had become. Maybe you had done or said things to them, and weren’t on good terms with them. Maybe because you didn’t bother to visit them or engage in their lives. Ha! If they only know what your life had become. Alas though, your death wasn’t important to them. Mom’s loss wasn’t significant. They couldn’t be inconvenienced to be here one day for mom, unless it fit their schedule. You didn’t have cancer, you didn’t commit suicide. I’m sure they were surprised it took this long. It makes me sad, but it’s their fears and ignorance that kept them away. I forgive and move on. Guess what though? your true friends and family showed up. I saw Mike and Lem and some other of your childhood friends. Eric, Paul and Rich. My friends from CMC and so many others. I’m forever grateful for each and every person who came to your service or called. Sean, the bottom line is that your life was complicated. My feelings on everything are complicated. ((sigh))).

So, having touched on all the negative stuff, I want to tell you how much you meant to me and still do. I know you knew. I told you all the time I loved you and you told me. We had so much fun together. I wish more of the world saw the Sean that I did. You were kind, funny and loving. You only showed yourself at your best to your nieces and nephews. Somehow despite it all, you managed to be a positive in their lives. It breaks my heart how much the kids miss you, especially your buddy James. When you were doing well, you were amazing. Those times in between, when I know you tried harder than anyone has tried at anything, I cherished. You had so many positive qualities. I’ve still yet to meet someone that compares to your intelligence and quick wit. You are one of a the best writers I know and could play the best pranks.

Watching you die was the hardest things I’ve ever experienced. Even harder than watching dad die. Ryan and I have talked about the comfort we find in knowing you and dad are together. Maybe dad had to die first, to be there to bring you home.

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For those of you still reading that don’t know what happened when Sean died.. I’ll tell you. A quick side story though... My mother has a neuroendocrine malignancy and parkinsonism. A tiring and frustrating combination of mysterious symptoms. Anyway, much of the last few years she has been in and out of the hospital. Thankfully, we are closer to a more accurate diagnosis and treatments, but her quality of life has diminished. She was a healthy, vibrant healthcare administrator and an active board member for various community organizations in Denver. Approximately 7 years ago, was the beginning of her decline. She still lives life to the fullest though, does not look for help or sympathy, and does her best each day. She amazes me and on her best days you wouldn’t know anything was wrong!

Anyway, about two weeks before Sean died, she had a bad episode in the middle of the night. Paramedics took her to the hospital. It was awful. The next morning, I called Sean to check on him. No answer. A couple of hours later, my mom now stable at the hospital, asked me if I’d talked to him. I told her I’d keep trying. I called and called. I went over to Sean’s apartment and although I had a key, I had to break the chain lock. When I got to his room, he was in bed. He had vomit all over him and was unresponsive. I called 911 and luckily was able to get him to wake up by screaming directly into his hear. When he came to, he was lethargic and disoriented. I wasn’t able to ascertain exactly what he had taken. My only regret that day is that I didn’t go to the hospital with him. Sean’s had many overdoses. I was frustrated and relieved he woke up and thought this would be another one of his hospital admissions. My mom and Ryan have resuscitated him in the past. He overdosed and was intubated several times over the years, before the days of getting Narcan at home. (And yes, he did get lots of “tough” love too. He was in treatment many, many, many times) Sometimes treatment was hard to get because of his co-existing mental and physical issues, but my angel of a mother never gave up on him. She was scammed out of money by a “recovery coach” and hit a lot of roadblocks through the years, but she always tried to keep him alive. She never gave up hope for him. She has been judged for this, but you find out what you would do when your in situations. Anyway, enough sidetracking.

Sean was taken from his room with paramedics and police to the hospital. I fully believed he would be ok. I had to work that evening and called the hospital to check on him. I wasn’t able to find out where he was or what was happening. My mom found out he had gone into respiratory distress and had been intubated. Sean, having been intubated previously on several occasions, had repeatedly told my mom he did not want vented ever again. I’m glad we weren’t there for them to ask us, because his honest feeling was that he didn’t want to be saved but we didn’t have a written dnr and we didn’t want to lose him. In any case, he was intubated and admitted. I went to see him the next day and when I spoke quietly to him, but he woke up and started trying to talk over the vent. I told him I loved him but I was leaving because he needed to rest. I reminded the staff of his high tolerance for sedatives and told them I’d try to stay away as to not agitate him. The nurse was very sweet and understanding.

The next few days I was there in between kids activities, school and work. I tried to visit him and my mom as much as I could. Fast forward, each day Sean got sicker and sicker. I left my phone in my car one day to get coffee at wawa and when I came back I saw the hospital had called. Sean had coded, but they got him back. I went over to the hospital. I took my mom from her hospital room to ICU to see him. They did a TEE but it was negative. They told me he was septic. He had a very bad infection in his lungs. He had what you may be hearing about now on the news, called ARDS. He was so hot that I could have literally cooked breakfast on his skin. He was on a cocktail of antibiotics. Sean had pre-existing lung issues and the night before I found him, Sean had taken drugs. Which ones and what kind, I’m not sure of exactly. He had sedated himself so much, that he went to bed, drank something in his sleep (he had a bottle of orange juice with him) and he aspirated. Had he not taken too much of whatever he did that night, he wouldn’t have been lethargic and under the influence. Had he not brought orange juice to bed, he wouldn’t have aspirated. Laying in bed for a day, after choking, and his breathing diminished, made for him too become too sick to recover.

He continued to deteriorate until they could not longer keep him vented. (side tracking again, if your family member is intubated for any reason I strongly suggest you research what you can and know your rights and options). It came to a point where we had to make a decision. Sean was “out of it’ for most of the time, but he would wake up at times. It was agony because we knew he didn’t want to be vented but he needed it to live. The Palliative care doctor decided we could slowly wean him off things that made his judgement cloudy. Not immediately, but when and if, he was coherent enough, she would talk with him directly. We ask him and he communicated with head nods and pointing. He even tried writing and then he tried and pointed at letters on a keyboard. The day came around and Ryan, mom, me and the Palliative care doctor spoke with Sean. His intensivist told us his lungs would “never recover.” If he were to be take off the vent, the only way he could live was to have a permanent trach. My mom having health issues, and at the time, still a patient herself, wouldn’t be able to care for him full time. He would be likely left to live out years and years, in a nursing home on a trach. If he was healthier and this was reversible for him, it would've been a no brainer. Unfortunately, he had a lot stacked against him. The doctor explained to Sean what happens if we take the tube out. He kept motioning for us to take it out. She explained without the trach he would stop breathing eventually. He indicated in several ways, he clearly understood. For Sean, living each day was a struggle. I think even if he had a better chance at recovery, he still wouldn’t have wanted it. She asked him if that's what he wanted several times and each time, he indicated yes. I had to leave the room to not lose it and break down. So it took a while but they slowly weaned him off of the vent. He asked for Mountain Dew, his favorite. He couldn’t swallow or drink so we put the smallest amount on a one of those little mouth sponges, and gave him a taste. He coughed and coughed, but smiled. He wanted his music, so we played his favorites for him. Frank Turner, Billy Brag, mainly. (much of the music he introduced me too is now stuff I listen to regularly) The three of us spent the next several days with Sean, watching him die. We told him stories, he listened. He tried to laugh. He cried. We cried. He slowly and painfully left the world after three or four days. I can’t even remember how long it took. I told him I would get a tattoo to match one of his. He pointed to one on his arm, that he wanted me to get. The day after his death, I got the tattoo. His breathing became more difficult. His skin burned and burned and even with cooling packs, they couldn’t help him. It devastated me to see him suffering at the end of his life, even though the nurses tried their best to keep him comfortable. Each time he had what I now know is called “Cheyne-stokes” respirations, we would think the time was near, but he kept on. We told him it was ok to go and that dad was waiting. My angel mother prayed over him, with him. She sang to him and I’m damn positive she delivered him to God herself and helped him transition peacefully between the two worlds. I don’t know where she got the strength. She never left his side until the last day. I wasn’t as strong. I couldn’t handle hearing his breath sounds without crying. I’m glad my mom and Ryan could, but I know it wasn’t easy. So, if you’re still reading this long story. wow. and thank you . I feel better for having wrote it out. It’s so much to talk about. I have some really great friends that let me vent to them during it all and have been there for me still. More angels that walk this Earth. <3

I know this is jumbled and all over the place. Half talking to Sean, half talking to whomever is reading. I apologize, but it has been cathartic for me to get it out.

Sean, in the end, I love you. Your life mattered. You had many positive impacts on people. You are missed. We are grateful for having had you for 35 years and I won’t ever forget you!!

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