#it looks tasty as frick

[smilesrobotlover]

Giving a Goron a secret stone is dangerous

#king of the Gerudo #totk #totk spoilers #💀💀 #oh daruk my beloved #at least Yunobo has some sense in him #along with the Goron sage #daruk is a himbo through and through #he won’t eat it of course but like #look at that thing #it looks tasty as frick #he would want a little lick #a little taste if you will

[peacekeeperangel]

#Frick that looks actually really tasty #and I don't like Tirimasu #amaury guichon #the chocolate guy #Youtube

[snaileer]

As a very dedicated energy drinker (addicted to caffeine) who also enjoys the grunge vibes of monster energy(purely because those ragged little lines match my life) and Bang, Red Bull, etc, can I just say

F those stupid fricking aesthetic looking energy drink cans that are becoming the style now.

Celsius I was fine with.

The hundred others that followed with like fruity designs and matte finish cans… 🤢

You should not be able to drink your tasty little 200mg while matching it to your ‘I have my life together’ fit.

You don’t, and I should be able to recognize the hot mess in a can from at least a distance of 10ft. Vision blurred from sleep deprivation or not.

#on a less spiteful note #I also feel like the cutesy nature of these new energy drinks is downplaying their extremity #like it’s a lot easier to sip away at your 16oz can when it’s ‘grape breeze’ and you ignore the fact 200mg can stop some people’s hearts #energy drinks are meant to be blaring in your face chemical warfare #it’s not a chai latte yall okay? this is why cold brews are so dangerous too. I literally know someone who went to hospital cuz of a venti #had a heart monitor for a while. she was healthy. it’s not a freak chance. some things need to be advertised as extreme because they are #and then also like shatter your stupid ass fake illusion #if you’re going to drink caffiene to that degree everyone around should be able to tell #it’s called not being a fake ass b #energy drinks #bang #bang energy #monster energy #red bull #Celsius #caffiene #insomniac #posted at 2:32am so like maybe I should also stop drinking energy drinks but… too late for me really

[roseytoesy]

frick dude I’m brainrotting so bad…twst has my whole heart and my vore brain demands I write things for some characters… sorry not sorry if this makes no sense. It’s brain vomit.

Azul: “oh you want to make a deal?… o-oh a-are you sure about that? You’re sure you want that?? W-well a deals a deal… come on in?”

gulp! Gulp-

“a-ah! Please stop squirming so much! I-it feels… weird. are you alright?… what an odd human you are. Wishing to be in the belly of a monster- hey! stop hitting me! I get it I won’t call myself a monster! Please be gentle in there…” “you we’re surprisingly tasty and I will admit the weight you provided in my core was very pleasant… perhaps we could do this deal again?”

Floyd: “ne~ shrimpy wants to play? What are we playing? Oh? Hehe you wanna play in my belly? Sure just know I love to play with my food~”

slurp! Glurk! Gulp! Glk!

“Ahhh! Hmmmmm, shrimpys so tasty! Yummy yummy in my tummy! And your little squirms feel so nice. All mine, my little tasty squishy snacky! Hehehe that tickles! Urp”

“I liked squeezing you so close shrimpy! Made you all mine for a bit~ gonna haveta do this more often <3”

Jade: “oh is there something you wish to ask of me prefect? Oya? I’m sorry I must have bad saltwater in my ear. Mind repeating yourself? Fufufu~ I’ll be more than happy to fulfill your little request. On the house. I was in need of a snack anyway. Now come here my little morsel~”

slurp. Gulp! Glurk, gln

“Rrrp. Pardon me. You ok in there snack? Hmmmm. Yes do so keep wiggling, it feels wonderful. I’m sure azul won’t mind me taking my break a bit early tonight. It’s not often I get to indulge in such a tasty meal. A going to have to be careful you don’t fatten me up with how sweet you tasted. Fufufu~ I’m only joking. Wouldn’t want the headmaster to expel me. Relax prefect you’re fine I’ll release you in a few hours. I’m just having a bit of fun with my food. Oof! Hmmm yes always such fun reactions.”

“thank you for dining with us tonight prefect. Do come back soon. Fufufu. I look forward to some taste testing in the future~”

Jamil: “hmmm? Is there something you need from me perfect? Y-you what?! Let me get this straight, you want me to swallow you whole? But why? Ok, ok. You’re so weird.”

gulp! glrn

“I-urp, excuse me, please don’t move much in there… it’s, I don’t even know how to describe it. Just please don’t move. I have other things to do, yes other chores... I’ll let you out when you’re ready I guess.”

“I’ll never understand why you would want something like that, but lucky for you I won’t ask anymore. Your taste is quite divine, I might want to indulge in this in the future if your still willing~”

Kalim: “hi prefect! How are you today! Huh you want to ask me something of course go ahead! Huh?! Sorry I thought you asked me to eat you. Y-you did…. Uhhhhh, I mean… well yes I could I just don’t-I don’t want you to get hurt. Promise me you’ll tell me if anything goes wrong ok?”

glup! gulp!

“Oh wow, that tickles! Brup! Sorry about that. You ok in there? Oh that’s great to hear! What’s it like? Is it weird? I imagine it’s all dark, sorry I can’t help with that part. Hehe, glad you’re having fun in there. I do have to admire it feels rather nice! Thank you for letting me help you and letting me experience something so different and new!”

“glad you’re alright! Hey! Maybe we can go flying next time to see if it feels any different! Or add some spices onto your skin- what do you mean thats weird? It will be fine as long as Jamil doesn’t find out!”

#twisted vornderland #soft vore #safe vore #This is such a mess #sorry not sorry #roses ramblings #my stuff #my writing #twst #twisted wonderland #you don’t see this #also to explain what’s going on #character name #asking them to eat you #them eating you #in their belly #and once out #again sorry #twisted wonderland vore #twst vore

[snonkerdoodlewritesstuff]

dubble standards

Crick, crack, the rose is black The years go by and come and pass Frick, frack, the tally rack Has a golden weeping lass

The girl she weeps, the girl she says, "I wish that boy never came to my bed." The boys they laugh, the boys they holler, "Hey, at least you got a golden collar."

The girl she weeps, the girl she says, "I never wanted to give him head." The boys they laugh, the boys they holler, "We never knew you were a little crawler."

The girl she weeps, the girl she screams, "I'm bursting apart at the seams!" The boys they laugh, the boys they chuckle, "I bet you taste like honeysuckle."

The girl she weeps, the girl she screams, "He said something about teams!" The boys they laugh, the boys they chuckle, "Bet you looked tasty in that buckle."

The girl she weeps, the girl she whispers, "That boy had me all hither and dither." The boys they scowl, shrink back in disgust, "Good fucking god, you're such a slut."

#poetry #my poetry #double standards #sad poetry #rhyme

[robotarmsapts]

Something I keep hearing/seeing and used to think before I started eating actually healthier than I was is that eating healthier does not taste good. I was so very wrong about that and wonder a bit on that for others too. There’s a frickton of fruits and those are sweet, usually, and go great as fritters or cut up on top of pancakes/waffles. Hummus is great(roasted garlic is my jam currently, and the red peeper one is tasty too), and can be a cheaper and healthier replacement for dip for your chips, or spread on toast or pancakes/waffles/bagels, etc. There’s a frickton of veggies out there to try and mix and match. Also, I cannot stress this enough: the spinach in the can tastes nothing like the spinach in the veggie section of the store in the bags/containers. The bags/containers are infinitely better and get the spinach/kale mix, you are in for good eats. I also want to note some veggies I did not like growing up, I do now. When that changed? Heck if I know. Cream cheese is so fricking good. Strawberry flavor and brown sugar cinnamon are my two faves there, but the plain is great too! Put that on above listed things, dip fruit in it, anything, and it is good as heck. Even with stuff like cinnamon raisin bagels/bread, it’s hard to actually taste raisins. That has been my experience, more so toasted. Beans are also really good for you! Inexpensive, season proper, mix with some rice, or however you like them and you are in for a good eat. For whatever it is worth, I am on the spectrum with autism and struggle with taste and texture on a lot of foods too. I still cannot eat tomatoes and peppers and onions normal, for examples. Eating better is also just cutting your portions on what you normally do, exercise if you can and drink more water, less regular soda. Even kool-aid with sweetener is a nice option for something good! Also, zero sugar sodas are the bomb, but watch it for the aspartame content. And as a loving reminder, if you’re looking to lose, do not rush weight loss. It’s incredibly bad for you. Even a pound a week is good! I used to make that mistake too, and paid for it more than once. If anyone else has anything to add to this, please feel free!  I am very interested to hear what anyone else has to say!

#health #food #weight loss #dieting #my ramblings

[ryanmarshallryan]

PETER BURRITO - A VORE STORY

“I’m so impressed. I had no idea someone could fit so much food into their body!” I exclaimed.

“I told you I can eat a lot,” Ryan replied.

“Yeah but like you probably ate 100 pounds of food at the buffet.”

“Oh that’s nothing.”

“Nothing? I myself am stuffed and I only ate probably a tenth of what you did.”

“What can I say? I’ve got a huge gut.”

“A gorgeous, amazing, huge gut... Let’s sit and watch the clouds or something for a while while we digest.” I suggested pointing at a bench in the park we were walking by. As we sat down, Ryan’s stomach rumbled.

“Can I rub it a bit?”

“I’ve been waiting all day.” Ryan replied. We sat for a bit as I rubbed his beautiful belly. It was nice watching it rise and fall with each breath, hear it gurgle with the mountain of food digesting inside.

“Hey maybe later we can go back to my apartment and see how much more you can fit into your belly?”

"So… you’re offering to let me eat your apartment?”

“A whole apartment?”

"Just a thought... I got you a present.”

“You did? You didn’t have to - “

“I think you’re gonna love it. And well I’m gonna love you in it.”

I blushed a little at Ryan, “Now I’m nervous, what is it?”

Ryan pulled out a small, vacuum tight package. I tried to rip open the packaging but it was really tight, so Ryan took it and was able to rip it open. Out came a thin circular blanket, with a picture of a tortilla on it.

It was a giant tortilla - blanket.

“OMG, I love it!”

“Well try it out!”

I unfurled the tortilla blanket and wrapped it around my shoulders, “How do I look?” I said with a funny flirtatious pose.

“Good enough to eat.”

“This is really sweet, I know vore is a bit weird, but it means a lot that you are comfortable making little jokes about it with me. And this blanket! I could be a burrito.”

“You will be, be a burrito, and get in my stomach.”

“That’s the goal.” I said, standing up and trying to arrange the blanket to make me look like I was stuffed into a burrito.

“I’m glad we’re on the same page!” Ryan said as he pulled the burrito blanket tightly around my body. “Ready?”

“Ready for what,” I asked, still not realizing Ryan was serious.

“I’m gonna eat you now.”

“Don’t tempt me with a good time, Ryan.”

“Don’t believe me?” Ryan asked with a head shake and smile. Ryan pulled my body close to his and leaned my body over his belly, our faces right in front of each other.

“Let’s go,” I said as we made very close eye-contact.

Ryan smiled, opened his mouth, grabbed my sides and pushed me into the air and swallowed me down like the burrito I am. It was quite a whirlwind of sensations. There I was tightly wrapped in a blanket, then suddenly had the added pressure of Ryan’s throat encasing my whole body, then suddenly my entire body was squirming around inside his belly.

“So, how does it feel to be food?”

“This is the hottest fantasy ever!!!!”

“It’s not a fantasy.”

“Thank you so much for eating me! I had no idea you could actually do it!”

“Man, you are a weird little snack. Most are livid.”

“Ugh, you’re so hot.”

“So is all the food in your apartment still… on the table?”

“Oh frick, you ate the keys to the apartment along with me!”

“Oh that’s unfortunate.”

“But hey maybe my roommates can let you in!”

“Hmmm.. that’s okay, I think for now I’m gonna go back to the buffet in a little bit. That waiter looked pretty tasty too.”

“It’s getting pretty tight in here,”

“It feels amazing for me, probably not much longer for you though.”

“Don’t worry, I’m still riding the adrenaline high!”

Ryan continued to sit at that bench for a long while, watching the clouds change shape, and feeling his powerful gut digest a huge burrito. Then his stomach let out a large rumble.

“I think I’ll go for seconds…”

[bigoltrashpile]

Frick it, Scar and burntout reader? Sorry it's been a bit of a rough week 👉👈

Of course my dude. Have a lil pat on the head. Pat pat

As soon as you walked in the door, Scar could tell something was wrong. He could tell something was off. Without a word, he grabbed your hand, bones warm on your chilled skin. "Love," he whispered, unusually gentle. "You're Exhausted."

You scoffed and tried to roll your eyes. "Uh huh, it takes one to know one."

You tried to brush past him, but Scar's broad chest stayed stubbornly in your way. "Hypocrite Or Not, I'm Going To Take Care Of You." A small smirk grew across his face. "I Am Your Bone-friend After All!

Despite yourself, you couldn't help but snort at the dumb pun. "Yeah yeah, and yet you never let me take care of you."

Scar sighed. "Fine. I'll Let You Take Care Of Me Next Time, Okay?"

Only then were you satisfied. Without a word, he scooped you up bridal style. With a self satisfied grin, he carried you to your room, ignoring your protests that your legs work just fine. Without another word, he gently sat you down on the bed and tucked you in.

"THERE, NOW STAY THERE," he practically ordered. Obviously, you tried to get up, but were immediately pushed back down by Scar's magic.

"You bastard!" you huffed.

"YOUR BASTARD!"

Damn, he had you there. He left the room, but was only gone for a few seconds before he returned, arms laden with snacks. Oh shit, and he had the good stuff too!

Scar sat next to you and, instead of handing you the snacks, he instead held it to your lips. "I can feed myse-" while you were trying to talk, Scar pushed the tasty treat into your mouth. You ate it, but you definitely weren't happy about it. Nope. Not one bit.

Okay, it was kind of sweet.

You were stubborn, but Scar was even more so. He continued to feed you, making sure that you literally didn't have to lift a finger. Once you couldn't eat any more, Scar finally set the snacks aside. "There, Feel Better?"

You sighed. "A bit," you admitted.

Scar smiled, eyelights soft and fuzzy. "Good. Now Scoot Over."

You obliged, and the handsome skeleton that you'd somehow managed to score laid next to you. "....Thank you," you finally muttered.

Scar placed a hand on your cheek, tilting your head to look at him. He was on his side, and looked stupidly handsome in the light. "No Need To Thank Me. I Would Do Anything For You. This Was A Pleasure, Love."

You flushed and tried to turn away, but Scar wouldn't let you. Instead, he leaned forward, giving you a moment to protest before kissing you. His sharp teeth making sure to stay closed so he didn't hurt you on accident.

"Fuck," you sighed. "What did I do to make you love me?"

Scar burst out in laughter. "You Didn't Have To Do Anything! You're You, And That's Perfect!"

He slung an arm around your waist, effectively pinning you to the bed and close to him. "Now, Get Some Sleep."

"Only if you do too," you huffed. No matter how hard you tried to stop it, you couldn't help but yawn.

A softer laugh escaped from Scar's mouth. "Of Course, Dearest. I Love You."

"I love you too...you little bastard."

One more deep chuckle from Scar was the last thing you heard before you finally drifted off to sleep.

#my garbage #writing #sans #sans x reader #undertale #undertale imagines #mafiatale #mafiaswapfell #scar

[mel-the-fangirl]

Toss A Coin to Your Witcher

Henry Cavill x Reader

Words: 2,362

I am so so so nervous to post this because this is my first time writing a Henry fic and I know that the Henry Cavill fandom is such a tightknit family, I hope you guys have room for one more hopeless Henry stan. I know this isn’t even half as good as the other Henry fics out there but I had this idea stuck in my head for a very long time.

Please like and reblog or leave me some replies if I should do a second part! Thank you!

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The makeup brush swept precisely along your cheekbone, covering it in a subtle shimmer. Production staff milled around behind you, testing sound, testing lights. Being an actor, these things were nothing new. 

"Now remember, say it with me," 

"Don't say or do anything stupid." you recited with your long time agent and friend, Marge.

You thanked the makeup artist and made your way to the set. 

"When have I ever said or done anything stupid though?" you asked

Marge looked at you appraisingly before replying, 

"There's always a time for everything. Now go on." 

The vibe on set dialled to a hundred when you stepped on. It was really flattering how they cheered as you plonked your butt down on the wooden chair, a red tarp was set up behind you and the studio lights surrounded the area.

"Ready when you are Y/N!" the producer aka the ring leader of this whole operation flashed you a thumbs up

You nodded, feeling the nervousness bubble up your throat. 

Surprise, surprise. You still got nervous in front of the camera. It wasn't hard to handle though, you took a couple of deep breaths and you were good to go. 

"Hey guys, gals, and non-binary pals! I'm Y/N Y/L/N. I'm here with Buzzfeed and we're gonna be playing Twenty Questions." you winked at the camera with your arms wrapped around the little jar that had your questions in it

 "Let's get started, shall we?" 

Eager to begin, you stuck your hand into the jar without a second thought. 

"I freaking love Buzzfeed, really. Especially Tasty, I mean, I don't cook. But," you shrugged, wiggling your fingers, hearing the tiny bits of folded paper move around in the jar. "I love watching people cook. Then I love eating."

Scattered chuckles broke out through the crew. 

After a few minutes of rustling around, you figured you’d just come clean, "Okay. Small problem." 

You lifted your hand, the jar coming along with it. The pieces of folded paper crowding around your encased wrist as you waved your arm. 

Another round of shocked giggles started up as a couple of assistants rushed to you and tried to yank the jar off. 

"This is too good," the producer chortled, "Mind if we keep this in?"

"Fine by me!" you watched intently as Marge rolled up your sleeve so one assistant could pour oil all over it. Eagle eyed, she watched as a drop of oil landed on the bottom hem of your sweater.

"Great job, Y/N. This sweater was a gift from that designer you met last week, he said he made it just for you." she scolded, taking charge by grabbing the jar with two hands

"It was an accident, Marge. It's not like I planned on getting my hand stuck in a jar today!"

With a tug and a pop, your hand was free and slick with olive oil. Marge landed on her butt on the floor.

"Marge!" you howled with laughter, helping her up

She straightened her blouse, all business but her cheeks were stained red with embarrassment. 

"Can someone help Y/N wash the oil off her hands? Let's get this show on the road, people!" she barked marching orders at the staff, clapping her hands as she went. She wasn't in charge here but no one dared to question her. 

You chuckled, knowing that this was a cute little anecdote you’d be sharing with anyone who was willing to listen.

A few minutes later, you were back in your chair, having a laugh with everyone. The jar incident already stripped away the majority of your anxiety so you were ready to go.

"Okay! First question!" you squinted at the strip of paper, "What is the most expensive thing you’ve stolen from any set you’ve been on?" 

“Well!” you widened your eyes at the camera, “Bold of you all to assume that I’ve ever stolen anything!”

Marge scoffed rather audibly, making everyone raise their eyebrows at you.

“Okay, fine!” you held up your hand. The stunning ring you had on sparkled underneath the lights, nearly blinding anyone who looked.

“I did a period movie a while back and they had these drop dead gorgeous, and I mean gorgeous pieces of jewelry. I wore this piece,” you gazed down at the ring fondly, “for the whole of the film and I just pinched it after we wrapped, I couldn’t part with it, okay? I’m like a fricking magpie, I love shiny things.”

The crew burst into fits of laughter, making you laugh along with them.

“To clarify! This is the replica the props department had made, a very expensive replica. I can see you freaking out, Marge. And no, you don’t have to call the insurance company.”

You were a big hit, to say the least. You had them in stitches every time you opened your mouth but all good things had to come to an end, right?

It didn’t matter how carefully you dipped your hand into the question jar, this next one was going to make things very messy for you. 

"What do you like to do in your free time?" you read out loud, tapping a finger against your chin

"There hasn't been much free time lately,” you chuckled, “Let’s see… I play video games, yeah. I am so obsessed with the Witcher, it's borderline unhealthy. I’ve read all the books and played the games so many times." 

"What do you think of Henry Cavill as Geralt?" the producer asked you

Henry Cavill.

Just hearing that man's name was enough to make the blood rush to your cheeks. You brushed an imaginary hair out of your face. From behind the camera, Marge raised a knowing brow.

"Well," you cleared your throat and sat up straighter

"To be honest, at first I was really skeptical about his casting. I mean, he is way too good looking. Like way. Way. Too good looking. But…"

"But?"

Your mind drifted to the first time you saw a picture of Henry Cavill in full costume. The white hair, the golden cat eyes, the intense gaze and all that leather? It definitely made you feel… Certain things.

You cleared your throat, propping yourself on the table with your arms. To be honest, your head was still in a Henry Cavill haze so you had zero control of what came out of your mouth next.

"I'd definitely toss all my coins to that Witcher. Toss a few other things as well."

Everyone in the room ooh'ed and whistled, delighted by your saucy reply. The ruckus snapped you out of it and your hand immediately flew to your mouth.

“Please tell me I didn’t just say that out loud.”

“You did.” Marge mouthed at you, trying but failing to contain her laughter

"So you enjoyed his performance as Geralt?" the producer pressed on, hoping to get more audience-raking answers

How many times were you going to blush during this interview?

"Oh, well, about that, I haven't really gotten around to actually watching it.” you admitted sheepishly, “But I've seen photos and some clips. Very impressed by what I've seen so far."

"You will watch it though, right?" 

"Oh, absolutely. No way I’d miss out on that! Henry Cavill is an incredibly wonderful, talented actor. I think he’s also a fan of the franchise so I have no doubt that he played Geralt to perfection as with all his other roles." you nodded solemnly, putting a hand to your heart

Everyone in the room with you caught on that you were gushing over the actor, the sly looks they all exchanged with one another were a dead giveaway. Too bad you didn’t notice before you could try and play it cool.

“Alright! I think it’s time for the next question!” you declared, swiftly plucking another question out of the jar

By the time it was all over, you had convinced yourself that your little crush-related blunder wasn’t even a big deal, it would probably just be a little footnote in that video. No biggie.

But, Jesus Christ were you wrong.

The video took a couple of weeks to edit and in that time, you were busier than ever. A movie you had just done was getting a lot of attention, your performance in particular had critics singing your praises. At that point, you were definitely getting noticed a lot more when you stepped out for coffee.

So, the timing was just perfect.

The second the video went live, your phone was going off non stop. Twitter mentions, Instagram tags, and articles. A few notable entries being:

“WATCH: RISING STAR Y/N Y/L/N GUSHES ABOUT HENRY CAVILL IN CHARMING BUZZFEED VIDEO”

“@geraskier-rights: Y/N Y/L/N REALLY SAID SHE’D TOSS ALL HER COINS TO HENRY CAVILL’S GERALT AND WE ALL KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS”

“@geralt-of-vengerberg: Y/N The Fond™ is showing👀👀👀”

Marge sat on your sofa with your phone in hand, absolutely thrilled while reading tweets out loud. You scheduled a panic session with her over lunch once everything blew up.

“Oh my God.” you groaned, massaging your temples. “Marge, what do I do?”

“About what?” she didn’t even bother to look up at you

You plopped yourself down next to her, laying your head in her lap, “All that. It’s everywhere.”

“And? There’s nothing wrong with it, they all think you’re charming and funny. A true Relatable Queen.”

Was it your sanity slipping through your fingers? Or the overpowering embarrassment? You had no idea but whatever it was, it had you laughing until your stomach hurt.

Marge tugged at your hair, “Get it together, bitch. Jeez.”

“What are you so worried about anyway?” she asked, placing your phone on your stomach

You swiped through your emails absentmindedly, “I’m not worried about anything, it’s just that what if…”

You left the words hanging in the air, you might as well have been dangling from a cliff from how much colour drained from your face.

“What if what?” 

Marge shoveled some pasta into her mouth before noticing that you essentially turned into a statue right next to her.

“Y/N!” she shook your arm with a grip you were sure would leave some bruises. “What’s the matter?”

Wordlessly, you passed your phone to her, the comment from a certain verified account displayed prominently on Buzzfeed’s Instagram post of a little snippet from your video, the “I’d toss all my coins to that Witcher” part, naturally.

“@henrycavill: Dear Y/N, how many coins are we talking about here? Let’s talk about my reward.”

It was all Marge could do to not throw your phone across the room. Her eyes went wide, following your every move as you paced back and forth, a thumbnail in your mouth.

“That did not just happen, I did not just see that right now. I didn’t.” you babbled, your heart beating thunderously in your chest

There it went. Your very own ticking time bomb finally went off. Number of casualties? Just one. You.

“Okay. Just calm down, Y/N.” Marge caught you mid-pace, squeezing your arms

“Maybe it was a fan account. Tell me it was a fan account, Marge. Henry Cavill did not just hear me imply what I implied.” you grasped at her hand with your clammy one

“Well if he has a fan account that’s verified and has fourteen point five million followers?”

“Oh god.” you groaned, sinking to the floor and hugging your knees

“Oh, Christ.”

Marge hauled you to your feet and thrust your phone in your hand. She looked you hard in the eye, “Stop your whining and answer him. You’re Y/N fucking Y/L/N, one of the hottest people on the planet, start acting like it.”

You stared at her, eyes wide. Your chest rose and fell rapidly. Marge’s words started to make sense in your mind and adrenaline started surging through your veins. You nodded fervently, psyching yourself up.

“Fuck yeah.” you breathed, clicking ‘Reply’

“@yourinstagram: @henrycavill I know you take orens, crowns, and florens but maybe we should discuss further?”

Before you could even stop yourself (did you even want to?), your fingers already landed on the blue paper plane.

“I did it.” you exhaled, staring as the likes and overly enthusiastic replies started pouring in

“Fuck yeah, you did. Now, come on. Leave your phone. We’re getting drunk.”

More weeks passed and you actually ended up forgetting about that little reply you left Henry Cavill. You were busier than ever. Guestings, endorsement deals, and awards shows left and right. So, when you finally had a couple of days free, you decided you would set up camp on your sofa and finally watch Henry Cavill as Geralt of Rivia.

You even threw on your Superman pyjamas, “What the hell.” you shrugged

If you were going down this road, you might as well do it right. Maybe you would even watch the Man from U.N.C.L.E after or would it be Night Hunter? The decision would have to wait.

You watched, absolutely riveted as the White Wolf battled against the kikimora, his silver sword hacked at the creature with unmatched expertise. You were only a few minutes in but you already knew you’d be stuck on that sofa for hours.

When the kikimora had Geralt pinned underwater with his trusty sword just beyond arm’s reach, you found yourself on the edge of your seat, one of your cushions in a chokehold.

“Come on, come on, come on.” you muttered as Geralt reached for his sword

You wouldn’t find out if he got it or not. A knock on your door literally made you fall off the sofa.

“Fuck!” you exclaimed, your hip was already smarting from the impact

Whoever that asshole was, you swore you were going to give him a piece of your mind. You stomped to your front door just as that idiot started knocking again.

You huffed and threw the door open then your mind immediately went blank.

“I am so sorry. Are you alright? I think I heard you fall?”

Oh yeah. You were definitely falling.

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You can find the second part here!

#henry cavill #geralt of rivia #the witcher #the man from uncle #night hunter #henry cavill x reader #henry cavill fic #henry cavill imagine #fanfiction #henry william dalgliesh cavill #cavillry

[super-magical-wizard]

I... really want angst heck

#I CAN'T WRITE IT BRAIN #WHY DO YOU DEMAND THIS OF ME #... frick I need to go brainstorm #I can't actually write it but maybe ideas will suffice #I hope you're all having a nice day ^-^ #I really want to make my heart hurt ^-^ #it'll be good yep yep totally fine #cause ya know... #what if wilford just has those days where he locks himself away #and he takes out an old suit from his closet #and dresses up some pillows so it almost looks like a person #and then he opens a locked box from under his bed #and he takes damien's cane out #the only thing he has left of his friend #and he places it next to the pillow suit #and pretends to talk to him #like he used to #and he tells damien about his shows and how he's doing okay and maybe he had something tasty to eat #and after a few minutes he goes silent #and he looks at the cane #and he just sobs

[jaysbestie]

hello! may i get a friends to lovers! Imagine with jay please and thank you 🥺💗

Songwriting & Ice Cream

pairing ; friends to lovers! band member!jay x reader

genre ; fluff

warnings ; food

summary ; your best friend is in a band and always calls you when he's stuck on writing songs

a/n : hi I'm rlly excited about this as it's my first request and I'm sorry it took so long, also sorry the pics don't rlly match!!

It was 3 am. Fricking 3 AM. And your phone was obnoxiously ringing as there was an incoming call. You checked the time and immediately realized who was calling at this ungodly hour.

"Are you stuck again?" you inquired, with a husky voice from waking up.

"WHERE YOU ASLEEP?" jay literally scrEAMED at your ear

"Why did you scream though? Is being peaceful that difficult for you?" you heard him chuckle through the phone.

"Bro, homie, dude, I'm in a band, of course it's hard for me to be peaceful" he said with a sassy voice, trying to imitate yours. " But um yeah, I'm stuck again and we have a show this Friday night"

"JAY FRIDAY IS TOMORROW" you were shocked to say the least, jay was usually the person that was very organized and always had back up lyrics for new songs.

You see, you knew jay like the back of your hand and you're pretty sure he knows the same about you too. However it was 10 months ago that you realized you liked jay as something more than friends. You thought that everyone new since his bandmates have seen the way you looked at him on stage. The stage, his almost natural habitat. The place where he shined and was having a genuinely great time. It wasn't only love you felt for him, it was admiration too. You knew you liked him and thought you showed it through your actions, getting him gifts and praising him after performances, picking up the phone at 3AM. Maybe he was super oblivious or incredibly dumb.

"Y/N ARE YOU THERE?!" you heard him scream through the device and you woke from your trance and put phone away from your ear.

"Yeah luv, I'm here" you said while you put your phone closer to your face.

"Thank God, I thought I lost you there hun but can you, like, come over?"

"Jay I'd love to but it's 3AM and if I sneak out I'll get myself in trouble"

"Oh well, will you come to my practice tomorrow evening?"

"Sure, just send me exact time and place and I'll be there"

And after that, you exchanged good nights' and you went to sleep thinking of jay and his band's practice.

The next morning you woke up late. You suddenly remembered that it was Friday and jay's festival was tonight. You thought of his practice before the show and smiled to yourself. There was no point in eating breakfast so you just went ahead and made yourself a tasty cup of instant ramen. A famous person once said, Ramen Never Disappoints. While scrolling through social media you came across an ad about the festival and your eyes fell on jay's band name.

You decided you'd watch two episodes of your favorite tv show and then go get ready for jay's practice and the festival.

Time went by quickly and you realized it was about time you started getting ready. You picked out what you'd wear and opted to go with a simple makeup look. You had just put your right shoe on when you heard a car honk from your window.

Opening your window and looking down you saw a black jeep and hay standing beside it.

"Weren't you supposed to be practicing with the band?" you asked, surprised.

He looked up at you like he had just noticed you were there and instantly smiled. His smile made his face glow and then you took notice of his outfit, it didn't seem like an outfit for practicing but he answered your question.

"Heesung canceled it, said we are perfect so don't need to practice and be anxious" he simply said.

The look he had on was different from other days. His eyes were glowing and he looked happier that usual but also a bit?? nervous??

"Wait I'm coming!!" and with that you closed the window, put on your left shoe and headed to the door to leave. As soon as you looked the door you went to jay and he extended his arms out to go for a hug which you accepted and then returned.

You opened the car's door and sat at the passenger's seat while jay did the same but on the driver's seat. You turned your head to the side and caught jay smiling while looking at you and there it was again, that look from before. You stared for a good minute and then jay started the car.

"Should we go to the festival now or a bit later?" you asked, actually confused with the fest's program.

"Would you allow me to take you out for ice cream first?"

YOU FROZE like literally, you thought that wOW the balls this man has.

"Is thE park jongseong asking me on a date?"

"Yes actually", he started while driving to your favorite ice cream shop, "I've liked you for the last 10 months, didn't say it for the 'famous reason' , I thought you'd reject me and I would ruin our friendship."

"Why would you think I'd reject you though? Are you that oblivious?" you sighed playfully and continued, "I've liked you for the past 10 months too and honestly I thought you knew since I made it kinda obvious?" you finished

"I mean, you were the only one to praise me after every performance and honestly, you were there every night to help me with my lyrics even if sometimes, I had finished writing" he admitted

"So is that a 'yes y/n, I'll be your boyfriend and take you to an ice cream date'?" tou asked while laughing softly, honestly loving the atmosphere that had been created in that very car.

"Well, yes y/n I'm officially asking you to become my girlfriend and let me take you on an ice cream date" he said while laughing and trying to look at you from the side of his eye.

"Well, jay, I officially accept you as my boyfriend and I'll let you take me on a date" you said trying not to laugh.

"You literally have no idea how happy I am right now, LIKE LITERALLY, I could fly if you asked me to" he said while he put a big smile on his face. It was a smile of pure happiness, he looked genuinely happy and enthusiastic, excited even. You were honestly fascinated by the look on his face right now so you opened your phone's camera and quickly took a photo of him.

"Oh believe me, I can imagine how happy you are" you were feeling ecstatic like you could snap your fingers and make a rainbow

"Tell me you didn't just take a photo of me" he said sarcastically and you responded, "This is our first memory as a couple jay!!"

After that, a thought popped in your brain.

"Did heesung really cancel practice or did you make him cancel to ask me out?" you asked but he didn't answer, instead he muttered a

"You're too cute for this world, oh god" and pulled over next to the ice cream shop, ready to share some pistachio flavored ice cream with one of his favorite people on this world, you.

#enhypen #enhypen fluff #enhypen imagines #enhypen scenarios #park jongseong #kpop imagines #kpop scenarios #kpop #enhypen x reader #enhypen drabbles

[blakeworther]

Winston headcanons! Because I don't talk about him enough (you can tell these hcs are self-indulgent lmao)

-He's selectively mute. He only talks to the cyborgs when no one else is around and his family when he had been in contact with them

-He's often spotted with what appears to be blood on his face but it's just strawberry jam because his go-to meal is a sunflower butter and jelly sandwich

-He's allergic to peanuts and bananas, which sucks because he used to love eating Elvis sandwiches as a treat before realizing that your mouth swelling up and tingling is not normal

-At first he was very awkward around Vincent, Victor, and Draco, but eventually they warmed up to him and now hype him up (I dunno if that's the right word but it's like if anyone said anything bad about him they'd be like "Dude don't bully Winston he's our man he's amazing and we love him" and like they see him and go "AYYY THERE'S WINSTON HERE COMES OUR MAN")

-Dude can easily pound drinks very quickly. Despite his stature, he's a heavyweight. He once drank 16 drinks and was fine. His favorite drink is a mojito

-His family owns a corporation called Loomis Resorts Inc. They're a hotel monopoly across the districts. Winston is the middle child of the family so he didn't inherit the company and was left to pursue his passion in robotics

-For some reason I feel like he'd be good friends with Taylor? Like they would bond over the fricking chaos brought into their lives and would enjoy the quiet company the other provides

-He's really kind to the cyborgs, petting and singing to them. He kept his face steady whenever a cyborg was disposed of at Myers, but afterward he'd go to the bathroom and mourn them privately.

-He is also a cyborg and wears sunglasses because his eyes always look like the cybernetic ones (like Vincent's during the chase scene in Chapter 4). The only reason he didn't break out of prison is because he was trying to fly under the radar and not bring attention, but he could have done it. Also yes despite the fact he has to eat humans, the "blood" really is jam /srs Peanut butter and blood is not tasty. He knows from personal experience

#tw cannibalism #tw blood #vtsom chapter 4 spoilers #tw drinking #vincent the secret of myers #vincent the secret of myers spoilers #vtsom #dino999z #dinoverse #my headcanons #winston loomis #headcanon

[blackswallowtailbutterfly]

I just...want to work in the garden and do nothing else. Stop only to eat and pee. I go in when the daylight’s done. And then all I want to do is look at more plants I can order and talk about my garden. All my plants are native to Ontario or nearby. All with edible parts except one. So. Plant species I have/am getting this year are:

001. Achillea millefolium (common yarrow) The red-flowered cultivar seems to have died over the winter, but the non-cultivar is growing strong and is also creeping past the stone border to become one with the grass. lol

002. Actaea racemosa (black snakeroot/black cohosh) Next weekend!

003. Agastache foeniculum (anise hyssop) Literally migrated from the place I planted it to a place it likes better, I guess. As in, there is no plant where I planted, but there is an anise hyssop in another part of that bed. You do you.

004. Allium canadense (meadow garlic/Canada garlic) Spreading slowly but reliably and super tasty.

005. Allium cernuum (nodding onion) It has flowered each year--this is year 4--but hasn’t spread at all. Very tasty, and I’ve bought some friends to help it along.

006. Allium schoenoprasum (chives/wild chives) Absolutely yum and doing very well.

007. Allium stellatum (prairie onion/autumn onion) Hopefully coming by the end of this month!

008. Allium tricoccum (ramps/wild leek) It will be quite some time before it even makes flowers which hopefully let it spread, so I won’t be able to reap the benefits for a while. But, both plants did come up this year and have now died back as expected. Hopefully they’ll continue to come up.

009. Amelanchier canadensis (Canadian serviceberry) Caterpillars. Are. EATING IT. Gypsy moth caterpillars. This is going to be a problem for some time until they pupate, I guess. Plant’s generally okay, though. I won’t be getting fruit anytime soon, though.

010. Anaphalis margaritacea (pearly everlasting) Very healthy plants keeping the sunflowers under some control. This spring was my first year eating the shoots. Can’t say anything about the taste specifically, as they went into a pasta sauce, but that sauce was delicious.

011. Andromeda polifolia (bog rosemary) Next weekend!

012. Aquilegia brevistyla (smallflower columbine) Growing very well, more flowers this year. Next year I’ll eat some (flowers, only the flowers are edible).

013. Aquilegia canadensis (Canada columbine/red columbine) Flower stalk doesn’t seem as tall this year, but it still has a lot of flowers. They’re a lovely refreshing sweet snack (just the flowers).

014. Arabis alpina (alpine rockcress) Next weekend! I had one last year, but it didn’t survive the winter. The poor thing was so root-bound there was no soil in the pot, so I’m not surprised it didn’t make it. Hopefully the new one will be in better condition.

015. Arctostaphylos uva-ursi (bearberry/kinnikinnick/pinemat manzanita) Not doing great and I’m not sure why. That area is reasonably well-drained and it gets part sun, part shade. Oh well. Maybe I’ll move it to the hill in the back. It seemed to like the hill I had it on at my old apartment.

016. Argentina anserina (silverweed cinquefoil) Hopefully coming by the end of this month!

017. Arisaema triphyllum (jack-in-the-pulpit) It came up! I was sure it had died last year. But no, it’s fine. Male this year. Hopefully female next year (I’m trying to see if the berries can be dried into edibility like the corms, and if they can I want to make jam or something with them).

018. Armeria maritima (thrift sea-pink) Drooping! It’s a drought-tolerant plant that will die if over-watered so I don’t water it more than once a week and I don’t water deeply, but it’s been hot so maybe it needs more or maybe I managed to overwater it anyway. Frick. Flowering very nicely though.

019. Aronia melanocarpa (black chokeberry) Doing just fine. No flowers and I don’t expect them for another couple of years at least, but it’s growing well.

020. Artemisia frigida (prairie sagewort/fringed sagebrush) Already spreading in the bed. Should look very nice when it fills in.

021. Aruncus dioicus (bride’s feathers/goat’s beard/buck’s beard) Growing more quickly than the internet told me it would! And going to flower this year too, which will be lovely.

022. Asarum canadense (Canada ginger) Doing fine for now, but burnt a lot in the sun last year. Likely to do so again. I’m going to plant something in front of it to shade it better. See, I wouldn’t have put it there if it was full sun because it’s a shade to part sun plant, but that area isn’t full-sun, it’s part sun; however, the sunlight it does get is very strong in the summer and the poor thing gets burnt.

023. Asclepias incarnata (swamp milkweed) Growing like a beast! Flowers were gorgeous last year. I don’t expect this to be any different, and maybe some monarch butterflies will pay it a visit.

024. Asclepias ovalifolia (oval leaf milkweed/dwarf milkweed) Hopefully coming by the end of this month!

025. Asclepias syriaca (common milkweed) Mine seemed to come up much more slowly than those I’ve seen elsewhere, but it is a fairly young plant. I expect it will come up earlier next year. And it’s doing fine now.

026. Asclepias tuberosa (butterflyweed) Hasn’t come up yet, but they can take till middle of June to start emerging, so I’m not going to worry about it yet.

027. Asimina triloba (pawpaw) All three trees are alive, though with very different rates of growth. I got them at the same size at the same time, but in trying to figure out what the best thing was for them, I planted one on a hill next to the door of my at-the-time apartment, one by the fence at the opposite side of the yard, and the third I kept in a pot, which I brought in for the winter. That spring, the potted tree leafed out first at the end of April, and the one on the hill in the middle of May. The third didn’t bud at all. I continued to water it, but I was sure it was dead. Then the house my apartment was in caught fire so I had to go to a new place (same landlords, so still allowed to plant on the new property) and didn’t want to leave my plants behind. It was the end of June. All my plants were potted. and I was going to leave the lifeless stick behind AND THEN IT SUDDENLY HAD BUDS. So I potted it and took it too. All three survived the transplant, but the tree I had initially taken inside (but is now outside) is the biggest, and that little stick is still the smallest. lol

028. Asplenium trichomanes (maidenhair spleenwort) Very little still, but seems healthy. I hope for its fronds to spill over my newly constructed garden wall when it’s bigger.

029. Athyrium felix-femina (lady fern) Doing very well, as a fern that can tolerate full sun.

030. Caltha palustris (marsh marigold) It is a marsh plant and there is no pond on the property to plant it, but there is a leaking eavestrough, which I thought would do well enough along with heavy watering. So far I have been correct.

031. Campanula rotundifolia (harebell) Very lush and green. I struggled to keep it alive that first year, but three years later it’s perfect.

032. Cardamine concatenata (cutleaf toothwort) Sometime this summer!

033. Castilleja miniata (paintbrush) Sometime this summer!

034. Ceanothus americanus (New Jersey tea) Not ready to use in tisanes yet, but growing well.

035. Cerastium arvense (field chickweed) The first two years the thing was barely alive, but this year’s it’s moment to shine as it spreads and flowers.

036. Cercis canadensis (redbud) No flowers this spring, but wonderful foliage. Fingers crossed for next year.

037. Comptonia peregrina (sweetfern) Next weekend!

038. Coreopsis lanceolata (lance-leaved tickseed) The first plant I attempted died, but this one’s doing very well.

039. Cornus canadensis (bunchberry) Next weekend! I mean, my plant from last year would likely be fine if the squirrels hadn’t dug it up, as would the one before that (because that one came from the old place and had survived the winter just fine!). So, I’m going to plant the new one in a different spot and hope the fluffy-tailed rodents leave the poor thing alone this time.

040. Cornus florida (flowering dogwood) Just a baby still, but its leaves are nice and green. I had one before it that really liked the hill I had planted it on back at the old place but died in the pot before I could put it in its new home.

041. Cystopteris bulbifera (berry bladder fern) Doing just fine. I love my ferns.

042. Dalea purpurea (purple prairie clover) Hopefully coming by the end of this month!

043. Deschampsia caespitosa (tufted hair grass) Not doing too well. Was fine last year, so I’m not sure what’s going on.

044. Echinacea purpurea (purple coneflower) I’ve always loved these. They’re edible, medicinal (with caution), have lovely flowers, and attract lots of pollinators including bees and butterflies. Mine is doing perfectly. No flowers yet this year, but very green healthy foliage.

046 Erythronium americanum (trout lily/dogtooth violet) Still no flowers this spring, but they did come up, so maybe next year.

047. Eupatorium purpureum (sweet-scented Joe Pye weed/gravel root/purple Joe Pye weed) Soon! Also, do you know how this is eaten? Its root is literally burnt and then you use the ashes to flavour your food. The plant is otherwise poisonous, so how it was found out that it could be used this way conjures up amusing scenarios for me.

048. Fragaria vesca (woodland strawberry/wild strawberry/alpine strawberry) I have strawberries! They’re far from ripe yet, but developing well. They’re also spreading over the hill I planted them on and will hopefully give the garlic mustard and dog-strangling vine a run for their money.

049. Fragaria virginiana (wild strawberry/Virginia strawberry/common strawberry/mountain strawberry) Because one native species of strawberry isn’t enough, I have both. This one is also making strawberries and nicely filling out the area I put it in.

050. Galium boreale (northern bedstraw) Newly planted! The first one of these I planted didn’t survive the winter, but I hadn’t been able to plant it until autumn (because I hadn’t yet been told where I could plant). This one has the rest of spring, the whole summer, and fall until frost to establish itself, and I’ve seen a number of them growing wild at the edge of the ravines, so it should be fine.

051. Gaultheria procumbens (American wintergreen/eastern teaberry/boxberry/checkerberry) Next weekend! I actually already have one and have had it for a couple years, but it’s another that came so root-bound there wasn’t any soil in the pot. I planted it hoping for the best, but it seems to be in a very slow decline. So I’m going to plant another one, hopefully not so root-bound and that will maybe either give it a boost (plants of the same species will often help each other when sick by transferring nutrients) or else take over when the first one dies.

052. Geum aleppicum (yellow avens) I didn’t plant this, and I can’t find it for sale anywhere anyway, but it’s a common plant that shows up as a weed. Being native as well as edible, it’s allowed to stay wherever it isn’t directly in my way.

053. Geum canadense (white avens) Same as above. lol Anyway, both species have attractive foliage. They’re likely not used as garden plants because of how common they are as weeds and because their flower stalks are long and leggy. But I’m happy to have them.

054. Geum rivale (purple avens) Newly planted! This one is offered as a garden plant, though fairly rare, and I’ve finally got my hands on one! All of the Geum species in my garden seem to be doing just fine, so I expect this will fine too. It’s the first plant I’ve put in a new area that doesn’t drain very well which makes it perfect for plants like this one that grow in clay on stream banks.

055. Geum triflorum (prairie smoke) Green leaves. Flower stalks up. This is a pretty reliable plant because it doesn’t die back in the winter, it just sort of sits there waiting for spring and then resumes growth like nothing happened. The first year it drooped a lot but once it established itself there was no stopping it and the transplant went smoothly too.

056. Grindelia squarrosa (gumweed) Hopefully coming by the end of this month!

057. Helianthus divaricatus (woodland sunflower) This is a sunflower that can actually stand a fair bit of shade. I thought mine had died last year due to the foliage and stemming dying back after a squirrel broke it and it and it was still summer. But it’s come up this year and I’m starting to think nothing short of cooking a sunflower’s roots will actually kill it.

058 and 059. Helianthus nuttalli (Nuttall’s sunflower/common tall sunflower) and Helianthus pauciflorus (stiff sunflower/beautiful sunflower) All I know is, I ordered both, I received two small plants, by the time I got them in the ground they were barely alive, that area is now being overtaken by sunflowers, and it could be one species, or it could be both, I don’t know. I did thin out some shoots this spring and add them to a very flavourful pasta sauce. I also thinned out a bunch of their roots last fall. To look at them, you wouldn’t know that either of these had happened, and I’m going to have to thin out more. They’re also putting up shoots between the stones of the cement path. There will be sunflowers here until the end of time.

060. Helianthus tuberosus (sunchoke/Jerusalem artichoke/suntato) Because I don’t learn, I planted yet another sunflower species last year, in a different area, because dammit I want my suntatoes that taste like artichokes. I planted one last year. I took and ate a bunch of tubers in the fall. There are currently five plants. This should be interesting.

061. Heliopsis helianthoides (false sunflower/sweet oxeye) After getting off to a rocky start last year, this one’s doing just fine, and also looks to be living up to its resemblance to sunflowers in more than just appearance.

062. Hibiscus moscheutos (swamp rose mallow) One of them appears to have died so I hope the other isn’t headed the same direction. Seems to be coming up normally though. Also I learned the flowers can change colour from year to year which was a huge surprise to me from the first year to the second. No idea what it will be like this year.

063. Hierochloe odorata (sweet grass/vanilla grass) It flowered last year, which was lovely. I hope it does so again this year. Foliage is nice and green anyhow.

064. Humulus lupulus (common hop) Growing nicely now, though its first several shoots died this year. It seems to just be a very impatient plant in the springtime despite not being very frost hardy. So it put out shoots, which died in the frost, and then put out more, which also died, etc. until finally there was no more frost so it just kept growing. That’s one way to do it, I guess. lol Most other frost-tender plants tend to be more cautious about when they put out new growth.  had a hop plant at my old apartment, which really liked the place I put I put it in, but it died when I potted it to try and take with me.

065. Impatiens capensis (jewelweed/spotted touch-me-not) Hopefully coming by the end of this month!

066. Juglans nigra (black walnut) This tree has likely been on this property since before I was born. I tapped it spring before last. I’ll tap it next spring too. Seems to be a healthy tree.

067. Kalmia latifolia (mountain laurel) They’re not native to Ontario but they are native to eastern North America, in the Appalachian mountains. I figured if they could survive mountain weather they could handle south Ontario winters, and so far it has. It’s not edible but I fell in love with them a long time ago when reading David Attenborough’s The Secret Life of Plants. And they’re making buds this year!

068. Lactuca canadensis (Canadian lettuce) Yes! We have a native lettuce. Most people will pull it up as a weed along with dandelions and thistles, though. I let it stay wherever possible. It’s not like I can just buy a new one, so I count myself lucky when they come up in my garden.

069. Lilium michiganense (Michigan lily) It made smaller ones, but they don’t seem to have survived for whatever reason. The older ones are very robust this year, though, and are budding with what looks like will be many flowers.

070. Lilium philadelphicum (wood lily) Newly planted! I have not had much luck with these, but hopefully this year’s the year. I have two plants, so maybe they’ll help each other.

071. Lindera benzoin (spicebush) No flowers or butterflies yet, but it’s a healthy bush and lives up to its name.

072. Linum lewisii (blue flax) Newly planted! I’ve wanted these for a long time but the places that carried them either wouldn’t deliver or didn’t have them as plugs or potted stock (I find seeds too unreliable). But now I have a couple in the large stone garden pot that I specifically filled with dirt that would allow for good drainage, for those plants that can survive the cold but not sitting in water.

073. Lupinus perennis (sundial lupine) Soon! Or I already have it. Not sure. See, I was sent an email by the company saying I’d probably accidentally gotten a bigleaf lupine instead and they gave me a coupon for the following spring to get a confirmed sundial lupine, but there is a chance I already have it. Either way it’s a nice plant, so whether I have two plants of the same species or two different species is fine.

074. Lupinus polyphyllus (bigleaf lupine/common lupine) I actually haven’t been able to find this species available for delivery anywhere, so if that is what I currently have, then I’m delighted and this is the best plant mixup that could possibly happen (there have been a number). Whatever it is is a very attractive plant even with just the foliage. I hope it makes flowers this year.

075. Mahonia repens (creeping Oregon grape) Speaking of plant mixups! The first time I ordered this I got a Potentilla nepalensis instead. I didn’t know it at the time, as it had a tag saying “Mahonia repens”, but then it flowered...I wouldn’t have minded terribly much if it had been a native Potentilla species, but “nepalensis” is definitely not that. Well, I emailed the company with a photo and they promptly delivered not one, but two creeping Oregon grape plants, and both seem to be doing okay, making new growth, survived the winter, which the potentilla did not.

076. Maianthemum stellatum (starry false Solomon’s seal) They seem to be doing well! They flowered, but I don’t know if there will be berries. Next year maybe, but then you don’t really see Maianthemum berries until late summer, so maybe there will be a couple this year.

077. Mentha arvensis (wild mint) It’s doing exactly what mint does. Tastes wonderful, which is a great reason for thinning it out and pulling it out from between the sidewalk stones.

078. Mertensia paniculata (tall bluebells) Currently flowering. Despite the name, though they do grow taller than their cousin the Virginia bluebells, I wouldn’t say they’re a bigger plant overall. Very nice though. The flowers are a delicate light blue.

079. Mertensia virginica (Virginia bluebells) When I planted the rootstock in the early summer and nothing came up at all, I thought they had died. But nope! They came up vigorously this spring, with huge leaves and incredibly blue flowers. The flowers are don and it’s starting to die back now, but what a gorgeous springtime plant it is.

080. Monarda didyma (scarlet beebalm) My theory is if you put two members of the mint family next to each other, they’ll keep each other at bay. I’m probably wrong. Anyway, this is already spreading in two directions. Last year caterpillars at a lot of its flowers. I hope that won’t happen this year.

081. Monarda fistulosa (wild bergamot) Has become a very big plant, but politely hasn’t really left it’s immediate area. They make great dried flowers after the winter, by the way, as the seedheads retain the scent. Especially if you squeeze them.

082. Monarda punctata (horsemint) This is starting to fill out now, but compared to the other members of its genus took a very long time to go past a teeny tiny little growth. Last year it got huge shortly after I planted it, so we’ll see if it does that this year. I hope so. The bees, wasps, and other pollinators absolutely loved it.

083. Myosotis laxa (smallflower forget-me-not) I didn’t plant it, I can’t even find it available for sale. It just grows as a weed. It’s just as blue as other forget-me-nots, but with stems that are very leggy and even smaller flowers than the popular garden species. But it’s native so it stays where it’s not directly in my way. It’s very prolific, lots of plants in the garden.

084. Myrica gale (sweet gale/bog myrtle) Only just started making new growth. It seems to be on its way out and I’m not sure why, but it makes me sad. I think last year was really hard on it being so hot so early and I didn’t have a hose then, so I was stuck carrying buckets of water up from my apartment in the basement. But I have a hose this year and I’ve been watering regularly, so maybe, just maybe, it will spring back into action this year. It’s such a pretty bush when in full foliage and the leaves taste like green tea.

085. Oenothera fruticosa (narrow-leaved sundrops) Next weekend! I’ve grown another species which has finished its lifecycle (they’re biennial) and sadly doesn’t seem to have successfully reseeded itself. But maybe this one will.

086. Onoclea sensibilis (sensitive fern) This poor thing struggled hard last year. I planted it between a tree and the house, but it still got a lot of sunlight. Still, it came up this year, and in my experience, second year plants tend to be much more hardy, so we’ll see. It’s doing fine for now.

087. Opuntia fragilis (fragile prickly pear) I did put it in a fairly dry area that gets full sun, but it does struggle in the winter and spring. It is starting to bounce back, though, just like it did last year, and the pieces it scattered are making roots of their own. All of whom are spiky bastards.

088. Opuntia humifusa (eastern prickly pear/devil’s tongue) This did just fine. I had it in a big stone pot which I moved to an area that gets no rain or snow on it, and it’s making new growth now that I’ve moved the pot back into the full sun. It like to spike me whenever I move the pot.

089. Osmundastrum cinnamomeum (cinnamon fern) Next weekend!

090. Oxalis stricta (yellow woodsorrel/sourgrass) It’s not technically native to Ontario, but it is native to Michigan and moved up here decades or possibly centuries ago. I didn’t plant it and you can’t find it in stores because it’s considered a weed, but it is coming up in my garden, it doesn’t hurt anything, and it is a delicious little plant, so it stays.

091. Parthenocissus quinquefolia (Virginia creeper) I didn’t have to buy this because it was already in the yard (it’s common in the ravines), but if it wasn’t I would have, because it’s gorgeous and I like the taste of the berries. It’s a native relative of Boston ivy, so if you’re wanting a wall climber, please get Virginia creeper instead. They’re available at a lot of garden centres and online.

092. Phlox divaricata (woodland phlox/blue phlox) It’s growing, but I think one of the white avens is overcrowding it, so I’ll probably dig that one up and eat it so the phlox can have more space.

093. Podophyllum peltatum (mayapple) Three plants in last year. One plant up this year. Oh well. It’s growing nicely, so hopefully it will spread.

094. Polygonatum biflorum (smooth Solomon’s seal) Hopefully coming by the end of this month!

095. Polystichum achrosticoides (Christmas fern) It doesn’t die back in the winter! I mean, the leaves get kind of yellowed, but otherwise just hangs out and makes new growth in spring. My first attempt with ferns (ostrich ferns) was a failure, but so far all my other fern species have been successful and are currently thriving.

096. Prunus americana (American plum) It’s very top heavy when leafed so it flops over whenever it rains which is kind of funny, but it seems to be doing fine.

097. Prunus nigra (black plum/Canada plum) My first black plum died, but this one seems fine.

098. Prunus pumila (sand cherry) Soon! And it better bloody be a sand cherry and not a purple-leaf sandcherry, which is a hybrid, like the last company I ordered one from sent me. But that company didn’t specialize in native plants and carried both plants, whereas this company does specialize in native plants and does not advertise the hybrid at all.

099. Prunus serotina (black cherry) This is the very cherry that is used to flavour black cherry ice cream! But my little tree (not that little anymore lmao) hasn’t made flowers yet. It has nice foliage though it keeps trying to grow into the neighbour’s fence. Don’t know why. The sun doesn’t come from there. Maybe it will flower next spring.

100. Pycnanthemum tenufolium (slender mountain mint) Despite being part of the mint family, this is actually a very polite plant so far that stays in its immediate area.

101. Pycnanthemum virginiana (Virginia mountain mint) Just as polite as its cousin. My first died and I blame the person who lived in another unit who decided that garden bed was an ash tray. I managed to put a stop to that, got all the cigarettes out, dug out a stump, added new dirt, and planted a new Virginia mountain mint as well as bride’s feathers. That particular tenant isn’t there anymore and nobody else does anything with the outside, except to put a garden hyacinth there, which I’ve left in its pot and been watering. I’m not just going to leave the poor thing to die. Anyway, the Virginia mountain mint flowered last year and I hope it does so again this year.

102. Ratibida columnifera (yellow coneflower/upright prairie coneflower) Newly planted! I don’t like to get the cultivar versions if I can avoid it, but I will if that’s all that’s available, or in this case, to get the plants I really wanted, I needed to get something that would put me over the minimum cost. But I didn’t want to leave it at that, so I bought a non-cultivar this year so they can be friends.

103. Ratibida pinnata (gray-headed coneflower/yellow coneflower/pinnate prairie coneflower) This almost flowered last year and the I accidentally broke it with the hose. That will not happen this year. I don’t see a flower stalk yet, but the leaves look healthy.

104. Rhus aromatica (fragrant sumac) It’s putting out flowers, but it did so last year and nothing happened, so I guess we’ll see this year.

105. Rosa blanda (smooth rose) A rose without thorns! Or almost. It’s got leaves out, but it’s a slow grower for a rose and hasn’t flowered yet.

106. Rubus occidentalis (black raspberry) This was supposed to be a red raspberry because black raspberries are easy to find in the ravines, but that’s okay, and I did order a new red raspberry which will hopefully actually be red. lol

107. Rubus strigosus (American red raspberry) Soon! Sometimes considered a variety of Rubus idaeus, which is the one you find in grocery stores. There is one patch I’ve found of them in the ravines, but they’re not nearly as common here as the black raspberry. Hopefully this new plant I get will actually be the red raspberry.

108. Rudbeckia laciniata (cutleaf coneflower/green-headed coneflower) There are two plants with very different leaves growing there. One of them I hope is the plant I intended, but won’t know until they flowers. They’re both doing well, whatever they are.

109. Sambucus canadensis (common elderberry) It’s making flowers this year! I learned the hard way that this species does NOT like being transplanted to a pot, which I had to do to take with me to my current apartment. However, it did eventually bounce back and didn’t mind being transplanted to its current location, which it likes just fine.

110. Shepherdia canadensis (Canada buffaloberry) Next weekend!

111. Solidago canadensis (Canadian goldenrod) I tried to buy this plant but they accidentally sent me an aster species instead. However, there are a bunch of goldenrods growing a different area that I didn’t plant and I believe to be this species.

112. Solidago nemoralis (gray goldenrod) Droops a lot but bounces back quickly.

113. Solidago simplex (spike goldenrod/sticky goldenrod/Mt. Albert Goldenrod) I’ve tried this once before and it died, possibly from being small enough that the ledge it was next to prevented it from getting enough sunlight. I’ve planted the new one far enough from the ledge that it does not get shaded by it, so hopefully that will do the trick.

114. Spiraea alba (meadowsweet) The first year in the new place it struggled a bit, but it’s fine now and it flowered last year.

115. Symphoricarpos orbiculatus (coralberry) Next weekend! It’s also the first time I’ve seen it available anywhere.

116. Symphyotrichum ciliolatum (fringed blue aster/Lindley’s aster/northern heart-leaved aster) A very polite aster, or maybe it’s just being kept under control by the sweet grass (055). Its foliage is that lovely gray-green colour often referred to as “blue” when people talk about holly, spruce, and hosta leaves, and its flowers are that pale blue people often think of as purple or periwinkle but shows up digitally as light blue.

117. Symphyotrichum cordifolium (heart-leaved aster) Doing fine where I planted it.

118. Symphyotrichum laeve (smooth aster) I didn’t have the tag and thought this was a violet when I planted it. It now thinks it owns the space, but looks very nice when it’s in bloom.

119. Symphyotrichum lanceolatum (panicled aster/lance-leaf aster/willow aster/tall white aster/eastern line aster/white-panicle aster/narrow-leaf Michaelmas daisy) Lots of common names. It decided it belonged on the sidewalk last year, but surprisingly agreed when I placed its branches behind the stone line of the garden. We’ll see if we can come to the same agreement this year.

120. Symphyotrichum novae-angliae (New England aster) Not flowering yet this year, but looks it’s getting ready. They’re such a lovely rich violet to purple and I love that they flower so late into autumn too.

121. Taraxacum officinale ceratophorum (fleshy dandelion/horned dandelion/rough dandelion) Obviously didn’t buy it. lol But it is in my garden along with non-native subspecies. Since they don’t harm the plants they grow among, they can stay as long as they’re not in my way.

122. Trillium erectum (red trillium) Next weekend! And I possibly already have one. See, I ordered three trillium species last year as bulbs and planted them, but lost two of the tags. Only two species came up and only the one with the tag flowered this year. So I don’t know if the one that didn’t flower was erectum or grandifolium, so I ordered both again.

123. Trillium flexipes (nodding trillium) It came up this year and it was lovely. Died back now though.

124. Trillium grandiflorum (great white trillium) Next weekend! And I might already have one: see 109. Ontario’s provincial flower. I once made a set of coat of arms style designs with each of the provincial flowers and animals.

125. Urtica dioica gracilis (stinging nettle) Planted itself in my garden back at the old place and if I didn’t trust the other plants would be safe after I left (I was right, by the way; the whole backyard has been turned over) I definitely didn’t think this would be either, so I potted it to take with and got stung for my trouble, but it’s happy in its new home. Lives up to its name, of course, but I did eat a few of the tops earlier this year in soup and later in pasta sauce, so I suppose we’re even.

126. Vaccinium angustifolium (lowbush blueberry/wild blueberry) When you see “wild blueberries” in the grocery store in Ontario, it’s this. It always seems to struggle with mould in the spring. Every year I’ve had it. I got it a friend in hopes it would help, but they seem to both be dealing with it now. I’ll have cut back the bad branches and hope that helps. It usually does, but I don’t know why it starts in the first place. None of the neighbouring plants are suffering.

127. Vaccinium corymbosom (highbush blueberry) This is the species you’ll most often see in the grocery store in Ontario as “blueberries”. My bush always makes some flowers and berries, but it’s not doing great right now. Not sure why. It doesn’t get mould the way the lowbush blueberries do. I hope it’s not on its way out. You can get them at a lot of garden centres, but there’s usually a minimum amount of plants or a minimum cost, and garden centres that specialize in native plants don’t often carry these, while garden centres that don’t often don’t have any other native species or at least not any I need or have room for. So for my purposes they’re kind of hard to get.

128. Verbena hastata (blue vervain) Was off to a slow start this year, but it’s doing just fine now.

129. Viburnum acerifolium (mapleleaf viburnum) Next weekend!

130. Viburnum lentago (nannyberry) It’s doing fine, just fine, but I doubt I’ll get any berries for some time yet.

131. Viburnum nudum cassinoides (Witherod viburnum) A lovely little bush so far. Maybe I’ll get flowers next spring.

132. Viola adunca (hookedspur violet/western dog violet/early blue violet) Hopefully coming by the end of this month! My first go with this plant was not successful. Hopefully better luck this time.

133. Viola blanda (sweet white violet) Exactly what it says on the tin. There’s a delicate pink to the centre, and the foliage is nice too.

134. Viola canadensis (Canada violet) It’s tall for a violet, and spreading nicely with lots of flowers.

135. Viola labradorica (purple Labrador violet) Next weekend! Despite it’s name, it is also native to Ontario.

136. Viola sororia (wood violet/blue violet) This is most common violet you see generally, which makes it hard, though not impossible, to find in garden centres. However, they’ve planted themselves in the yard and I’ve successfully transferred one to one of the beds. I have other place I want to put the rest before I dig up that area.

137. Vitis riparia (riverbank grape) I have two plants because I didn’t realize when I bought it that hiding among the weeds in another part of the garden there already was one. Oh well. Guaranteed cross-pollination of two genetically diverse individuals. They’re both doing well.

138. Zizia aurea (golden alexanders) They’re doing well. It looks a lot like wild parsnip, which it is related to, but it’s much more friendly, and I ate some this spring.

I may be able to order more. We’ll see. One of my go-to places says they won’t ship until “opening day”. I guess they mean when their area reopens, but that might not be till next year. Meantime, I will continue to construct my garden wall in the back.

#garden #plants #native North American species #native species of Ontario

[forces-of-faggotry]

I put Unhhhh intros into inferkit

"Hi I'm the cigarette that you can't smoke, Trixie Mattel"

"Hi I'm tokhang, Trixie Mattel"

"Hi I'm that boss that has completely quit, Trixie Mattel"

"Hi I'm some dude with an interest in waterboarding, let's have an erotic christmas dinner, Trixie Mattel"

"Hi I'm the DJ that you couldn't find at the party, let's have kiki"

"I am that tasty flavor, I don't care"

"Hi, I'm not a sexed up version of The Looker, I am Trixie Mattel"

"Hi I'm balking at the glass window, and I see you all standing outside looking in, I'm so very sorry, Trixie Mattel"

"Hi, I'm a muffin guy at the frackin pan, Trixie Mattel"

"Hi, I'm a sexified rendition of Toby Diddle, Trixie Mattel"

"Hi I'm a fricking armadillo, Trixie Mattel"

"Hi, I'm an eleven year old little ducky, Trixie Mattel"

"Hi I'm a digital juggalo, Trixie Mattel"

"Hi I'm a skeet shooter with a license to kill, Trixie Mattel"

"Hi I'm anything, Trixie Mattel"

"Hi I'm a sexy French girl, Trixie Mattel"

"Hi I'm an array of thse, Trixie Mattel"

"Hi I'm that sweet waffle, Trixie Mattel"

"Hi I'm a bubbly cappuccino, Trixie Mattel"

"Hi I'm a guy wearing makeup and a femailly tailored suit, Trixie Mattel"

"Hi I'm that gel man, Trixie Mattel"

"Hi I'm the stuck up bitch, Trixie Mattel"

"Hi I'm a beautiful fiery sunset, Trixie Mattel"

"Hi, I'm that gorg, Trixie Mattel"

"Hi, I'm that salmonella person, Trixie Mattel

#trixya #trixie mattel #katya zamolodchikova #trixie and katya #katya

[shrubberylogistic]

Denial

Just deny everything. 

Deny. Deny. Deny.   

Who’s late for the first day back at work? Not you. 

Who’s had a wardrobe malfunction this morning? Not you.  

Who’s let themselves go during lockdown? Definitely not you.  

It’s working, right? Course it is – you're a professional! Just gotta believe.  

You unwrap the Snickers. You wipe your brow as the doors close. Whoah, this elevator’s warm. Down goes the bag. Off goes the jacket. Out goes a notch on your belt. You press the flashing button with a podgy finger, peering with tact over your shoulder. 

 You sweep through your hair. Coast’s clear. You smirk, sighing. Cool, conditioned air wafts round your belly the moment you untuck your shirt. You watch yourself put up a feeble fight in the glassy mirror, wrestling the strained buttons over your bulging jelly roll. You caress your lips with the chocolate in your other hand, licking and smiling.   

Mmmmphh…  

You deserve it all, after that walk through the door. Those stairs outside – weren’t they always this exhausting for you?  

Deny. Deny.    

 You can’t help but sink fingers into yourself as the elevator rises. God – you’ve gotten so fricking fat. Quarantine’s changed you. You were the model employee and now, you’re obsessed. You engulf the rest of the bar, moaning in ecstasy. Thank god you’re alone. The sugar rush shoots straight to the space between your thighs. You squeeze your stomach, closing your eyes. Your cheeks pale as you savour the final swallow. Oh, that was good. You rummage around your bag. You’re gonna need a few more hits to get you through a day like today. 

Three more floors shudder to two. Time slows. You swear this elevator trip went quicker when you were skinny. You crinkle the next Snickers in your sweaty palm. One last floor. You take a breath. Destination reached. 

You take an even deeper breath, sucking in, taking a peep through half-closed eyes at your reflection. 

Your blubbery belly has barely shifted an inch. 

Deny. Deny. 

The doors swish open. You let go, letting your stomach flop. 

Welcome to the lion’s den. Your hips nudge the edge of the retreating metal with a jaunty clump. It’s the last sound you hear before silence descends on your surroundings.  

The whole office freezes up. You smile. You wave. You pale. You’re literally having to roll your thighs past one another as you waddle to your desk – soft swathes sticking, stretching with every cumbersome step. It’s a motion you’ve barely practiced, and it’s sending your soft belly into seismic jiggling. Soon you’re back to being breathless – wobbling like an entrée of blancmange, desperate for a sit down, a cool drink, another bite of Snickers... 

  Everyone’s mouths have fallen open, but you can’t help yourself. The bar’s in two halves even before you even reach your workstation. One’s clasped to your moistening chest. The other’s doing a tasty shuffle between your chubby cheeks. You munch and chew. Your love handles mushrooms over your belt. You soak in the stares. 

“Oh my god. Are you okay?”   

Oooh. Did somebody say ‘company image?’ 

You swivel your rounded face, stuffed with sweetness. Your health-nut coworker stands rooted to the spot. You try to grin, but chocolate’s flooding your mouth, and you only succeed in looking gluttonous. Your tongue rolls in caramel as you mumble a cheery hey, stretching your fingers for the rear of the chair. It can’t come quickly enough. 

“Hey...yeah, I’m...fine, s-sorry I’m late,” you huff, and puff. Your hand drifts to the small of your back. God, it’s so achy. Like you’ve put on loads of weight, or something. You wriggle your widened hips, flopping into your seat with a sigh of relief. You can almost feel the wheels crunch beneath you. 

“Are you sure?” 

Someone else. Tall skinny type, ex-jock, dreamboat of the higher-ups. You raise her an eyebrow – then soften into a smile because jesus you neeeed this job – while you shimmy into your desk, working your calves. Your belly bumps the keyboard, to the surprise of no-one but yourself. Oooofff. You’ve grown.  

“Yeah, everything’s okay...” you mumble, unable to conceal the redness of your cheeks. “Feeling good. I didn’t miss much – did I?” 

“It’s lunch,” says the brown-noser in chief, rolling his eyes. You can’t tell if he’s being sarcastic, or if he’s just throwing a line to see if your stomach groans on cue. Dunno – maybe you’ll miraculously recover your energy and barrel headlong for that takeout place down the street. Or maybe you’ll just wobble for joy, like all fat people in his head. 

....Wow. Delicious food. Mmmm. So hungry. Can’t wait. 

You half-consider saying it out loud, but you settle on rolling your eyes right back at him as he tails off past the water dispenser. Dickweed.    Though either way, it is time to eat. 

You make some excuse about catching up, tapping aimlessly on the screen, waiting until one by one, your colleagues disappear into the elevator, most no doubt headed for an endless round of gossip in the cafeteria down the hall. You look huge, you’ve gotten incredibly unfit and none of your tops stretch past your midriff anymore, but hey – still got your job, so far. Fake it until you make it, right?  

Suddenly, you’re alone again. 

You reach into your bag, look left, look right, then you whip out your lunch. A massive meaty sandwich, three bags of salted chips, a chocolate muffin and a pack of mini donuts. Heaven. You lick your lips. You crack open the box and inhale the sweet smell of piggish excess. Lying back on your chair, you eat, and you eat. You finger your swelling stomach. Then you eat some more. 

You wonder what your boss is going to say. Good thing you’ve got a script. 

You're going to deny everything. 

Everything. 

Except for yourself. 

#weight gain fiction #wg fic #weightgain #weightgainfetish #fatweightgain #gettingfatter #make me fatter #fattening up #shrubberylogistic

[cyro-starfire]

Y'know qhat? Fuck it Monster/Lemon Demon headcanon time!!

Tw for FNF, Oc x Canon, mentions of mind altering abilities, other stuff! Read at own risk!!

First are the simple headcanonz

Okay first headcanon: Monster prefers the nickname "LD" to make things easier but he doesn't mind other aliases (Lemon Demon, Monster, Lemon Monster)

Considering he has the ability to alter perception, who said he can't have other mind related abilities, THAT'S RIGHT THIS IS WHAT YUO GET, I'M GIVING HIM THE POWERS OF HYPNOTISM/MIND CONTROL AND FUCKIG MIND READING!!! FRICK U!!!/pos

He can crawl on all fours and is able to chase prey easier that way

He occasionally makes animalistic roars, grunts, and growls especially when he's super fucking hungry

He can climb up walls like a god damn sleep paralysis demon

Because this bastard is very well aware of how soothing and mesmerizing his voice is he uses that to his advantage to lure prey into a false sense of security

Yes I am hopping onto the "monster dad" bandwagon, cry about it Skid and Pump deserve a good dad

Like certain other beings of horror, he loves it when his prey is filled with fear and adrenaline, makes em more tasty

He's a silver tongued asshole when he wants to be don't @ me

He has night vision

He can shape shift because I said he can but his shapeshifting is limited, it'll still be obviously him, he can just change his form but he can't like look like another person

Alright time for the cringy ass oc x canon headcanons here we fucking go!

Alright so he's a fucking smug ass romantic bastard to Cyro, they don't hate him it's more of a "guilty love" scenario, y'know?

He likes to fuck with them alot, making sure their face gets brighter than christmas lights on a dark night

Originally he did want to eat them, but over time he develop feelings for him so the more times he caught them, they were just opportunities for him to attempt to steal a kiss

He whisperz to them alot because he's well aware that his voice makes them blush

He likes to gently caress them as well as petting and hugging them, he even occasionally kisses their cheek or neck, not on the mouth tho...y e t ;)

Cyro gets really snappy and moody at him whenever he catches them (why wouldn't you) so what's LD's solution for angry alien future S/Os? Use your hypnotism on them!

Bitches be like: your the cutest little alien I've seen, and I'll kill anyone who attempts to steal you or hurt you. (It's LD, LD is bitches)

He gets jelous due to the fact that Cyro also has feelings for Whitty and Pico and he's pissed that he can't get to them while one or two of them are with Cy because both are trigger happy time bombs (literally) so he likes to steal them when their all alone~

Y'all want a list of the pet names LD gives to Cy? NO? TOO BAD!!! :D

(from most used to less used)

- my little songbird

- cherry cake

- alien buns

- starfire (cuz their last name is starfire heehoo lemon pun)

- my sweet little meal

- adorable morsel

- sweet cake

- strawberry shortcake

- kitty cake

- poor sweet succulent morsel

That's it, I'll probably add more in the future idk

two of the nicknames are references btw, can u find them out? ;)

#stfu cy #cy screams #cyro's cringe ass headcanonz #tw fnf #fnf tw #fnf #tw friday night funkin #friday night funkin tw #friday night funkin #fnf lemon demon #lemon demon fnf #fnf monster #monster fnf #fnf lemon monster #lemon monster fnf #fnf headcanon #fnf headcanons #tw oc x canon #oc x canon #cyro x lemon demon #lemon demon x cyro #cyro x monster #monster x cyro #lemoncy #tw hypnosis mention #tw mind control mention #cy #cyro #cy starfire #cyro starfire