#it takes a lot to write something well enough that an emotional beat hits and doesnt feel like whiplash immediately after comedy | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

vraiao · 1 month

Note

I LOVEE YOUR NEWEST FIC!!! YOU ALSO WRITE AMAZING WITH ANGST!!

OKAY,OKAY!!! its really embarrassing to type it out but the idea i had is, a virgin inexperienced reader x kaeya(or any genshin men) like theyre teaching them how it works and how to pleasure themselves, I HOPE YOU ARENT WEIRDED OUT BY IT HUHU

(i really like your writing so im sure whatever you do with this idea, its gonna be👌🏻👌🏻)

-‼️ anon

i will try my best to write this but i’m a horrible smut writer so here we go😋😋

✰ . fingering, creampie, virgin!reader, experienced!kaeya, fem!reader, smut, rough, unprotected, overstim(?)

smut below the cut !

being your older brother's best friend, kaeya had always seemed to have a thing for you. spending a lot of time over at your house, he was always trying to give subtle hints, whether it be occasionally brushing a hand up against your thigh whenever he got the chance or pretending to pin you up against the counter before reaching into the cabinet above you for a cup with that typical devilish smirk on his face, but you were just too oblivious!

on another night of sleeping over at your house, kaeya found himself rather restless this evening. it was late, and the whole house was quiet, sleeping. unable to sleep, he quietly opened the door to the guest room to make his way downstairs to get a glass of water, but his thought process was interrupted when he noticed a faint glow from under your room door. sensing an opportunity, he strutted over.

gently knocking twice on the door, he waited a couple seconds and opened the door to your dimly lit room out of mild impatience before you could reply. noticing him walk in, you sat up and set your phone to the side, sleepily blinking at him and speaking in a somewhat drowsy tone. "kaeya? do you need something?" you said.

he shook his head, "no, just can't sleep." not bothering to wait for you to say anything else, he walked over to your bed, sitting next to you close enough that his shoulder was pressed against yours and looking at you with an unreadable emotion in his eyes. "what are you up to?" he asked.

the close proximity between you two woke you up, and you began feeling slightly nervous. your eyes darted in any and every direction that wasn't his, and you hesitated before you spoke. "nothing, really.." you muttered. he responded with a simple hum and a nod, not once taking his eyes off of you. your eyes remained elsewhere, devoid of any contact with his until he suddenly placed a gentle hand on your chin, redirecting your gaze to meet his. with a faint grin on his face, he leaned in just a little closer and lowered his voice to a tantalizing whisper. "what's wrong? you nervous?"

with his hand still firm on your chin, trying to shift your gaze from his piercing indigo eyes was pointless. too close, you thought. your heart was beating so rapidly that you felt it would jump straight out of your chest at any moment. you bit the corner of your lip, unsure of what to say and fearful of fumbling your words and looking like a klutz. "no," you responded, voice hardly above a nervous whisper.

feigning innocence, he tilted his head to the side, devilish grin growing wider by the second. "oh, really? well it sure seems like you are." just then he let out a slight chuckle, and before you could fully process what was happening, he closed the distance between you two and pressed a gentle kiss on your lips. the initial shock from this sudden contact made your eyes widen and you hurriedly placed a hand on his chest to attempt at pushing him away, but you didn't really try because it wasn't like you actually wanted him to stop.

letting your hand fall back to your side, your eyes began to flutter closed with his lips still pressed against yours in a heated kiss. he suddenly pulled away for air, softly panting while he gazed at you. you panted as well, trying to catch your breath when the realization of just what you two were doing hit you, so you began to speak. "wait.. we shouldn--" he cut you off, placing a finger on your lips in a shushing motion as he began to speak. "shh,, it'll be fine. let me take care of you. i'll be gentle.." he said as he leaned forward, pressing his lips against yours once more.

he moved closer, shifting himself to hover above you. your hands shot toward his hair, fingers tangling between his soft blue locs and he placed both of his hands gently on either side of your waist as your legs instinctively snuck around him. he pulled away for a moment with a grin. "eager, are we?" he teased, giving you no time to respond as his lips crashed onto yours once more.

his satirizing words rendered you flustered and you tried to move your legs away, but you felt him grin against your lips as he placed his hands against your thighs to keep them in place. patience thinning, one of his hands slid down your thigh and began tugging at the hem of your panties. you then panicked, a hand swiftly moving to grab his wrist to immobilize his hand from going any further. you pulled away, taking a few heavy breaths before you spoke, "wait..! I've never-" but kaeya interrupted you before you could speak.

another sly chuckle and you began to feel so embarrassed. your eyes darted in another direction and your hand lightened its grip on his wrist as the already overbearing red on your cheeks just seemed to grow. he grinned, reveling in the way he was making you feel. "don't be shy, love," he placed a gentle yet fleeting kiss on your lips, "i'll teach you," he whispered. he began placing featherlight kisses on your cheek, trailing them down to your neck and collarbone while leaving occasional nips between his firey trail of kisses.

he was much gentler than moments before, moving with less eagerness and such. you released your hand from his wrist and he began to move it, tugging lightly at the hem of your panties and pulling them down, the cold air of your room hitting your sex and sending a light chill down your spine.

he absolutely drunk in the sight of you. your hair disheveled and breath heavy while your face was flushed a deep red. he moved his hand down, a finger teasingly prodding at your entrance and causing your pussy to convulse and clench around nothing. he grinned, harshly nipping at your neck before he finally dipped a finger into your cunt. you let out a shaky breath as he began to move his finger back and forth at a not-so-fast yet not-so-slow pace. you were practically dripping already-- both of your hands tugged at his hair and you whined, bucking your hips forward into his hands to try and feel more friction.

taking this as an opportunity, he slipped another finger in with no effort. you were met with a stinging feeling that was quickly overshadowed by the pleasurable feeling of his fingers filling you up as he increased the speed of his hand, and the utterly lewd sounds of his fingers scissoring in and out of you turned him on even more. the growing tempo of his fingers fucking you was sending you over the edge. "you like that?" he said softly. you tilted your head back, eyes fluttering shut as you whined and whimpered a series of incoherent phrases, along with the occasional spill of his name, all while trying to keep quiet as to not wake anyone in the house. noticing your head flying back he used his other hand to grab your chin, redirecting your face and placing a sloppy kiss on your lips before speaking. "eyes on me, love," he said.

you started to get the feeling of a tight knot in your stomach that was going to snap at any moment, and kaeya could tell that you were close from the feeling of your cunt pulsing around his fingers. he increased his finger's momentum, pressing his thumb against your clit and massaging it. every little sensation set your senses ablaze and before you knew it, you were cumming all over his fingers with a hushed moan of his name spilling out of your lips.

your mind was spinning, and your breath was heavy. feeling somewhat unsatisfied, you wanted more-- and it seemed kaeya was on the same page. after you took a moment to catch your breath, he grabbed your chin with his clean hand, fingers that were just digging into your core suddenly invading your mouth. "clean them off for me, yeah?" he said with a wide smirk on his face. obediently, you began licking and sucking at his fingers, the taste of your mess spilling into your mouth. it was so filthy, but you couldn't help but enjoy it.

seconds later, kaeya pulled his fingers out of your mouth, momentarily still connected to your lips by a string of saliva before he moved his hands toward working away at his pants. pulling them off and discarding them, outsprung his already leaking erection. your eyes widened and for a moment you wondered how that was even going to fit in you. lining his tip up with your entrance, he wrapped a hand around his cock, coating it with your slick and saliva that remained on his fingers, and giving it a few pumps before beginning to slowly push into you.

already losing himself, kaeya leaned in, breath tickling your ear as he spoke in a low, husky tone. "do you know.." he groaned, pushing further, which caused you to whine, "how long i've.. wanted this?" you squirmed, and just then his hands moved to your waist to hold you still. he let out a low growl when he fully bottomed out in you, head drooping low with heavy breaths. "fuck," he muttered, the feeling of your tight hole milking him before he even moved already sending him to space. it hurt. it hurt so good and you couldn't seem to really care. yes, there was an overbearing stinging feeling, but the feeling of him filling you up so wholly, so completely-- it was enough to make any of the pain feel like a simple pinch.

he gave you a look, practically begging and pleading for you to let him start moving. when you finally responded to his eager look with a curt nod, he placed a sloppy kiss on your lips, his tongue forcing its way into your mouth as he pulled his hips back, leaving only the tip remaining still in you before he snapped forward, instantly bottoming out again and causing you to whine loudly into his mouth. he pulled back again and again, each time pulling out less and moving back in faster. he pulled his mouth away from yours, your tongues connected by a thin string of saliva as his tongue lolled out of his mouth followed by a string of pants and moans leaving his mouth.

tugging and running your hands through his long, soft hair, you tried your hardest to keep the volume of your moans and whines to a minimum, but it was so difficult. in an attempt to quiet yourself, you used the arms wrapped around his neck and legs wrapped around his waist to pull him closer, burying your face in the crook of his neck, your warm and rapid breaths tickling his skin. in response, he began another trail of kisses and bites along your neck, only making you whine further. you were still so sensitive from just moments ago, but that made the things you were feeling all the better.

you could tell he was close, because his rhythm grew sloppier and he was hardly pulling back in between thrusts. not only that, but he was also incessantly whining about how he was going to cum<3. you couldn't even think, head thrown back and moaning his name at the top of your lungs like it was a mantra. you're not sure when, but somewhere along the lines of him fucking your brains out, you stopped caring about the pitch of the lewd noises leaving your mouth. just know that tomorrow's breakfast table will be awkwardly silent. you began to feel that familiar knot coiling in your stomach once more, and the increasing quantity and incoherentness of your moans was a sign enough to let him know of that fact.

with a few more quick snaps of his hips, you let out one final cry of his name and snapped, orgasming all over his cock that was still pistoling in and out of you. feeling your cunt squeezing and pulsing around his dick, he was quick to follow suit, groaning as his hot, sticky cum spilled into you, painting every inch of your walls a creamy white. his thrusts slowed, riding out his high before he came to a stop, cock still sheathed inside of your hole as he panted, resting his forehead onto yours while you panted along.

the room smelled of sex, and the air was humid. you were both spent,, or at least you were. he didn't seem to be done just yet. "you can go another round, right baby?" there's still some things i wanna teach you."

a/n!! this is probably not how you wanted it but I was kind of just going with the flow so i hope you enjoyed it!! <3

#vraiao #smut #genshin #genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #genshin smut #genshin impact smut #kaeya alberich #kaeya smut #genshin kaeya #kaeya x reader #kaeya alberich x reader #kaeya alberich smut

174 notes · View notes

thehusbandoden · 9 months

Text

You Flinch During an Argument -Hawks

My confidence for this series is like at a 2 outta 10 but I can't really take it back now sooo ig I'll just continue to write. I hope someone's enjoying it </3

Hurt to Comfort | 1,097 words

Warnings!: Mentions of arguing, flinching, mention of someone beating up on themselves (Hawks), Hawks' name used. Let me know if I miss any <3

Gif credit: @tatakaeeren

His heart will stop as soon as he sees you recoiling from him.

He was planning on simply taking your hand to ground you both.

He'll softly ask if you're okay and what you need from him.

You need him to leave you alone? Sure thing, he'll be busy cussing himself out in the kitchen- doing those stupid dishes the argument started.

Want comfort? Don't worry, he'll hold you for hours upon hours, accomanying each peck with a soft apology.

He'll get very upset with himself and will be very reserved and somewhat cold for the next week or so.

He keeps thinking back to that one movement from you.

And no matter what he was planning on doing and how you said that you knew he wasn't going to hurt you, he can't get the idea that you flinched because of him out of his head.

You finally have enough when he leaves for a mission and only gives you a peck on the lips, no extra cuddles, kisses, hugs, compliments, or tickle fights the entire week he was preparing to leave.

Right as he was saying his goodbye his eyes were as cold as ever, holding no liveliness in the honey depths.

"Aren't you forgetting something?" You pout, crossing your arms across your chest.

And that was quite normal for the two of you.

He would chuckle and swoop you in his winged embrace, kissing your lips before inhaling the scent of your shampoo, kissing your forehead as he did so. "I love you, and I miss you already", "You're so goregous.. don't find someone better when I'm gone, mkay?", "I cannot wait to see your smiling face when I get back" were some of the things he would whisper to you as he hugged you, mentally bracing himself for the long week or more that he would be apart from you.

But now? All he did was glance around before giving you a negative response, informing you he had everything.

"A-aren't you going to kiss me?" You ask, emotions getting the best of you.

He then came and gave you a small, fleeting peck to the lips before heading out with another hushed 'goodbye'.

You then labored to figure out how to help him for the next three weeks, until he finally came home to you.

As Keigo's hand made its way towards you you recoiled back out of instinct, not fear. You would never fear your Keigo.

But did he know that?

Terror consumed Keigo as soon as he saw you flinch.. were you.. scared of him?

His heart beat faster against his chest as sweat protruded from his body... you were scared of him... he scared you.

Forcing himself to get a grip and focus on you, Keigo weakly asked, "Y-y/n... did you think I was going to hit you?"

You immedietly shook your head no, and made your way to him, one hand on his cheek. "No baby, I know you would never hit me. I don't know why I flinched, I guess it was just instinct. I'm not scared of you."

"O-oh.. well do you want me to leave you alone or.."

"I would love it if you would cuddle me. We can talk more later, right now we both just need one another." At that, Keigo nodded before making his way towards your shared bedroom, holding your hand in his trembling one.

Since then, Keigo has been a wreck.

He doesn't eat properly, he doesn't sleep properly, and he's not his usual chipper self. He's a lot more cold towards you, sitting on the other side of the living room instead of right next you, he does the dishes, laundry, vaccuming, and any other kind of chore you can think of without playfully bantering with you like usual, he avoids starting arguments, always just agreeing to whatever you were saying, and he hardly touches you.

If you want a kiss before he goes to work, you need to ask for one, and then you'll get a small peck on the lips, and sometimes just your forehead.

You want cuddles after having a nightmare? You're going to have to deal with you clinging onto him for comfort while he awkwardly rubs your shoulders.

He's miserable, punishing himself for a simple reaction from you.

"I'm leaving y/n." Keigo called, picking up his bags and suitcase, entirely ready to leave.

"Wait! Wait!" You exclaim, dashing into the enterance way. "Aren't you forgetting something?"

"I have everything needed for the trip." Keigo muttered, honey eyes cold.

As Keigo turned to leave your emotions went out of whack, Keigo is really messed up if he won't kiss you before a three week mission.

"C-can I get a kiss?" You ask quietly, emotions ready to leak any minute.

Keigo just walked towards you, pecking your lips once, before walking out of the door with a quick "goodbye".

As soon as the door closed you fell onto your knees, overcome with emotions. Your Keigo was truly broken. He hadn't even said 'I love you'.

Three weeks later Keigo came home, and you had a plan in mind. You would simply sit him down and have a talk with him, ask him what's bothering him, get him to talk, comfort him, and then reassure him. Then, things would be back to normal.

But that bird just had to ruin all of your hardwork.

As soon as Keigo stepped through the door he jumped on top of you, dropping the two of you onto the livingroom floor.

"K-Keigo?"

"Oh y/n I am so so sorry! I was so focussed on my worry about you that they sent me home and then I decided to go take a vacation and clear my head- and I realized how cold I've been to you! I didn't even give you a kiss- or, or say I love you- y/n I am so very very sorry." Keigo exclaimed, burying his face into your chest pitifully.

"Oh baby what changed? I was going to sit you down and make you talk it out unil you were normal again."

"I thought about it over and over again- and I realized that you're not acting scared of me. If you were you would be quiet and would want to stay away from me and not start those silly arguments you keep tryin' to pull." Keigo pouted, pecking your lips once he was done talking.

"Keigo.. you still haven't said it."

"Said wha- oh I love you! I love you, I love you, I love you!~"

Series masterlist | Hawks' masterlist | Main masterlist | Navigation

Tips <3

Reblogs help spread and support my work, but any support is appreciated <33

Do not copy, repost, nor plagiarize my work. Ask before you translate or use my work in any way, minus reblogging.

1K notes · View notes

kurooo-is-here · 4 months

Text

I've been loving writing the yandere stuff recently, so I'll give you guys some crumbs of what I think yandere Kieran is like. Enjoy :D

Yandere!Kieran x Reader

Warnings: Obsessive and controlling behavior, lots of death, implied memory loss

He knew about you before you even met him. I mean, how could he not? The newest Champion of Paldea, who beat Geeta and saved the region during your adventures to Area Zero-- he admires you so much.

And then... he met you. You're even prettier in person, and your voice is heavenly compared to the recordings he has. He can't stop gushing about you.

He spends every waking moment thinking of you after that. So... it turns his world upside down when Ogerpon chooses you over him. And it twists his heart when Terapagos looks at you instead of him.

It's not fair. He loves you, cherishes you above all else... so why is the world being so cruel to him? He watches helplessly as his sister befriends you and keeps secrets from him. He watches as the Pokemon that were meant to be HIS... become yours. His dreams vanish before his eyes, taken by the person he loves most.

He hates you-- well, he wants to hate you. He loves you dearly, he's known about you for so long, but all of these other miserable nobodies can befriend you like its nothing, while scorning HIM for acting a little emotional? He's wanted you for so long, and these fuckers are taunting him, he just knows they are. Enough. He's tired of feeling like his life is out of control. For once, he's going to get what he wants...

One day, you pass by the League clubroom. You notice it's oddly quiet in the halls, and even more quiet in the clubroom. Something isn't right.

As you open the clubroom door, a wave of cold dread washes over you and a sickly stench hits your nose. Blood. Lots of blood. Everywhere. There's bodies on the floor. Your vision starts to spin before you can process anything more.

Kieran is sitting in the middle of it all, crying. But when he sees you, he gets... happy? He runs up to you and embraces you, his hands caked in blood... and he just keeps repeating your name, over and over.

You're shaking. You can't stop shaking. You want to throw up, or scream-- just do something-- but you can't move. When you finally try to pull away from him, he looks confused.

"Y/N, where are you going?" His voice is calm, empty. His grip on you tightens.

"K-Kieran. I don't know why you did this, but this is wrong." You start to sob. "Let me go. Please."

Kieran just smiles at you. "Don't worry, Y/N. I'll take good care of you. There's nothing to worry about."

That's the last thing you hear before your vision goes black.

...

You belong to Kieran. You always have, and you always will. He's your loving boyfriend and caretaker, and you live with him in a remote place in Kitakami. You've lived here for as long as you can remember.

Kieran treats you well. He's rarely upset, and he protects you from wild Pokemon. You don't have any Pokemon of your own, so it's only natural. He cooks for you, takes care of you-- he's everything a partner should be.

He loves you so, so much. He always will.

#pokemon #pokemon scarlet and violet #pokemon kieran #pokemon kieran x reader #yandere kieran x reader #oh boy everyones dead!#good thing kieran's taking care of you now!#:)#kuro writes

213 notes · View notes

jgnico · 7 months

Note

How do you feel about Gojo saying Sukuna was holding back and the people saying that this is out of character? Because to me it doesn’t seem out of character in the slightest considering how Sukuna didn’t actually go all out??? He didn’t use any of his techniques and relied on ten shadows. Which is great btw!! I think Sukuna using ten shadows is a nod to how ingenious Sukuna can get during battle and in general him solely relying on ten shadows doesn’t discredit him or anything it just shows that he is still got a lot up his arsenal. Also Gojo saying he put his whole soul and body into the fight is true he gave it his all and that’s all that matters idk why people are saying that the writing of this specific part is off because it was very clear that Sukuna was holding back on using his original form and techniques? I could be missing something idk

Short answer? I think it's silly. I've seen people call Gojo's scene in the airport outright character assassination and all that that tells me is that either a) they weren't following the fight very well or b) they don't give Gojo as a character the credit that his writing deserves.

As often as I rag on Gojo for fun, I do genuinely think that he's one of the best written characters in the manga, and his conversation with Geto, Nanami, and Haibara only adds to that. There's nothing wrong with Gojo acknowledging that Sukuna's strong, because he is. Likewise, it's not ridiculous for him to say that Sukuna didn't give the fight his all or that he might have lost even if Sukuna didn't have Ten Shadows. All of that is true and Gojo, out of anyone, would know that.

Long answer?

I think that a lot of the confusion over Gojo calling Sukuna strong comes from Gojo's confidence in the fight and people's own emotions toward Sukuna. We've all seen the fraud memes and Gojo did an expectational job showing his own fighting prowess during the second half of the fight, but a lot of people seem to be forgetting that Sukuna almost killed Gojo as soon as the fight started. Up until the fight flipped in Gojo's favor (after Sukuna was hit by Unlimited Void) Gojo was struggling. If Sukuna hadn't been holding back his other techniques to a) keep them a secret from spectators and b) ensure that Mahoraga adapted to Unlimited Void out of sight, it's very possible Gojo would have died after their first Domain Clash ended in Sukuna's favor.

Quick Explanation: In chapter 226, after Gojo's Domain breaks and he loses his technique for a time, but before he uses Simple Domain to save himself from Malevolent Shrine, Sukuna could have used his fire arrow in the same way he did against Mahoraga in Shibuya. With the amount of damage Gojo was taking at the time, we don't know if he would have been able to survive it, especially when all of his CE was being focused on healing the slashes Sukuna was dealing and likely couldn't have been spared to reinforce his body. (But once again, Sukuna was holding himself back, so neither us nor Gojo will ever know if he could have eneded their fight there.)

This is why I personally don't see anything wrong with Gojo being unsure if he could have beat Sukuna even without Ten Shadows.

But moving on to the less combat focused section of what I want to talk about. What was up with Gojo's confidence up until the literal end, only for him to doubt himself after the fact? I have two points for this one:

Gojo has to be strong for his students.

I touched on it in my response to one of your previous posts, (read: here) but I can't stress enough how Gojo's strength and, by extension, his confidence in his strength is for his students' sake. He teaches through his actions, but more importantly, he never shows them his own doubt.

The first time he fights Sukuna, he points out that Megumi is watching and, in his own words, "shows off."

Then, going into their actual fight in chapter 222, he looks serious in a way that we never really see from him. At least, up until the point where Yuuji reminds him that he and all his other students are there, that they're confident in him, and we see his entire demeanor going into the fight change. He's smiling; he's not worried in the least. He says, "Yeah, I got this," with a grin on his face, and that, more than it'll ever be for himself, was for his students.

There's another shift after the opening stage of their fight in chapter 224. What always stuck out to me from that chapter was Gojo noticing that their fight was being broadcasted. I won't go so far as to say he was less confident before that point or even that he wasn't trying as hard because that simply isn't true. But after he realizes that his students can see the fight as it's happening, Gojo's approach to fighting Sukuna changes almost entirely. Before, he was visibly having fun. Before, he was treating Sukuna as an equal to cut his teeth against. Was he getting on Sukuna's nerves intentionally, yes, but there was an aspect to it that felt more similar to how he spoke to Geto in their teenage years. Still antagonistic, that's just how his personality is, but not degrading in the way that he is later. (I'll expand on this thought in another post. For now, let's get back to my original point.)

After he spots Mei Mei's crows, Gojo never, not once, for the remainder of the fight expresses doubt in himself in any outward way.

We see frustration, we see anger, we see surprise, but never doubt. Never worry. And what does he say as soon as he get's the upper hand in the fight?

But why? Why is making sure that his students remain confident in him so important? Well, what's the answer to almost any question when it comes to Gojo's motivations?

Hidden Inventory and losing the person that mattered to him the most: Suguru Geto.

The same confidence that Gojo shows as an adult is what we see here, with one important distinction. He shares the place of being the strongest with Geto. "We're the strongest" isn't about them individually holding the title; it's about them together. They as a unit are the strongest. But here, Gojo tries to shoulder the burden of his fight against Toji alone while he sends Geto off with Riko and Kuroi. He seperates them and that duality of strength becomes weaker. Gojo loses, Riko dies, Geto loses, and they fail.

In the aftermath, Geto takes the guilt from that loss onto himself, and it only widens that separation into a chasm that Gojo is never able to cross. But we spend so much time talking about Geto's guilt over Hidden Inventory that I think we overlook Gojo's.

Even in a state where he'd feel nothing over killing a roomful of people, where he can't feel anger toward Toji over Riko, he feels like he messed up. He places blame on himself for their failure. Not just because he had lost but because Geto --someone that shared the position of being the Strongest with him-- expressed doubt in him shouldering so much of their mission at multiple points, only for Gojo to give him confidence in return and have that confidence ultimately be misplaced.

But isn't he making the same mistake with his students? Yes, and no.

Yes, in that he's giving them reassurance that is tragically (for lack of better word) misplaced, but no, in that they never expressed doubt in him. Not just because they aren't on his level when it comes to strength like Suguru was, but because he never gives them the chance to doubt him.

From the very beginning, when Yuuji first becomes his student, he makes sure that Yuuji doesn't have any doubt in him winning against Sukuna. And even when he's asked again at a time where none of his students are present, he thinks of this exchange with Yuuji. And his response to Kenjaku now was the same that it was to Yuuji.: "Nah, I'd win."

This isn't to say that Gojo didn't have faith in himself going into the fight or even through the majority of it. It would be at least disingenuous and at most outrageous for me to say that Gojo's confidence in himself was an act only for his students sake. What I'm saying with all of this is actually my second point in this post:

Gojo only expresses his true feelings to himself and....

I'm quickly running into the photo limit for this post so I'll be using quotes, but in chapter 233, we get, "Even though the opponent was the King of Curses, said to be the strongest in history, a thought nobody considered possible began to spread; Satoru Gojo could lose. Gojo himself was aware of that prospect. Yet, along with the signs of defeat came an undeniable feeling of satisfaction."

I've read through the entire fight multiple times now, and this is the only time that we see Gojo express doubt in himself. But instead of it feeling like a loss, as we'd expect, it's written as a positive. Gojo isn't upset at the idea that he might lose. He embraces it. As was stated both in chapter 233 and again in chapter 236, he's satisfied. Not just because he gave this fight everything that he had, but because him losing means that he'll return to the person that understood him --and the burden of being the strongest-- the best.

Much like Suguru couldn't smile from the bottom of his heart until his last moment with Gojo, Gojo couldn't be truly happy in a world where no one understood him. If Geto had been there with him, if Geto had been alive and by his side to share the burden and isolation of strength in the jujutsu world, he could have been truly happy with his life.

But that wasn't the reality that he lived in, nor was it something he could ever hope to accomplish.

Gojo's dream was to raise stronge allies, but that was never so that they could share the burden of strength with him. It was so that they could share it with each other. So that they never experienced the isolation of being strong alone the way that he did for the majority of his life. He wanted them to have their own Geto in each other.

It's not that he changed up his attitude regarding the fight and Sukuna after he died, but rather that his death brought him back to the person that he could finally (finally, after so long of being a pillar of strength rather than a person) express his true feelings to.

Or, to continue the quote from 233: "Being the strongest came with a sense of isolation. So the source of his present sense of fulfillment was..."

#i never want to hear that gojo didnt get a happy ending again #because this was it #also this post is almost 2k words long good fucking god #jujutsu kaisen #jjk spoilers #jjk meta #jjk 236 #gojo satoru #ryomen sukuna #geto suguru #answers #meta answers #marigold #nicos meta

153 notes · View notes

xxsycamore · 1 year

Note

Hi! Hope you've been well <3 I want to tell you that I completely adore your writing, it's very detailed and I love it. I hope it's ok to request something for the Late Spring Tryst #6 Gilbert from Ikemen Prince. I can only imagine one of his pictures/events where both MC and Gilbert get caught under the rain. Thank youuu <3

Wait, wait, I didn't say that I'll be taking requests! 😳 But maybe I can try coming up with something for you...👀✨ Thank you so much for your kind words! I hope you can continue to enjoy my works, have a great day! ❤❤❤

𝐏𝐄𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐂𝐇𝐎𝐑 𝐂𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐎 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐒𝐊𝐈𝐍

↬ 🖤 Gilbert takes care of his naughty little rabbit, who doesn't mind getting drenched in the rain to have him...

Gilbert von Obsidian x f!Reader • rating: E (MDNI) • tags: Sex in the Rain; Rough Sex; Outdoor Sex; Vaginal Penetration; Vaginal Fingering; Creampie; Biting; Messy Sex; Dirty talk; Verbal Humiliation (mild); Aftercare • wordcount: 1, 713 • masterlist

Running barefoot on the tiled-floor corridors, barely missing your step down the staircase; the following loud creaking of a heavy wooden door being pushed open. It all swirls together in a colorful haze - the world before your eyes, the sounds and then the emotions; and then the sensation joins too, of being hit with a portion of sobering cool air as the outside is unforgiving. Even when you stop on your tracks and fixate the figure on the path ahead, your heart remains of someone running, beating so madly inside your chest.

Your soul is loud in parade, yet the skies are mourning silently. Why must they weep and rain down on the earth that Gilbert is walking? It's his return, yet the clouds disobediently refuse to part and make way even for someone as mighty and daunting as him. Very well then; you shall differ and be met with praise.

"And here I thought I'd surprise you by avoiding the main gates. Could it be that my little rabbit can sense me approaching? Have you missed me that much?"

Surprise you? If he really meant to sneak up on you, he would've done so without a problem; a longing gaze cast randomly past the windowpane was enough to spot him cross under the rose arch marking the entrance to the garden that is facing the back of the castle. It's some kind of test, perhaps, yet you willfully focus on the part resonating with your own version of this rushed meeting holding a deeper meaning, the signal coming from within, like you knew he was coming back early. Something akin to the concept of soulmates. Sweet thoughts rushing in, you quickly make your way across the cobblestone path marking the final meters separating you from him, with open arms. It's a little rough on your bare feet, yet the cold doesn't get to you.

Gilbert's embrace is a source of scorching warmth, but it strangely can't be found anywhere on his skin or under his heavy and warm attire. Like a spark that is needed to light a fuse, when you hug him, the fire envelops you.

Gilbert coos and returns the embrace, his arms resting on your shoulder and your head and act like a temporary shelter from the rain.

"Too taken aback to use words? I understand, for I, too, was overly eager to meet you again. I fantasized about you on the way back a lot, you know."

A lone butterfly flutters in the pit of your belly, not having sought refuge from the rain... The screaming reminder of something takes shape and washes off the innocent happiness of witnessing Gilbert's early return in one strong wave. Would he bring it up?

Looking up at him, you notice what the rain has done to him - dark hair sticking wetly to his cheek, begging you to reach and gently move it out of the way for him; one water drop running down the soaked eyepatch, right at the side of his tall nose, soon to meet the corner of his lips. Your throat is so dry, you realize, gulping down.

"You're out in the rain in that flimsy gown... how reckless, little rabbit..."

His glove-covered hands don't carry the warmth of human flesh, but the goosebumps are inevitably cast upon each and every millimeter of your skin that they graze. Your clothing doesn't do much in your favor, and that's where you want to correct him - it's not recklessness, it's impatience. But he'll interpret that wrong, too.

A harsh groping of your rear.

"What are you- doing-"

"I told you in my letter, didn't I? I'll devour you as soon as you enter my sight."

Fingers sinking into the flesh, the only thing keeping the gossamer from tearing apart under Gilbert's fingernails being the barrier made of black leather - much like the retractable claws of a big cat that simply means to play around and not cause harm. Not that Gilbert cares about your girly little gown, but marring the skin underneath should be a privilege saved for his teeth alone.

"Mm... rain mixes with your scent better than I imaged. Oh yes, I'll definitely will be taking you right here and now."

The reality of his words brings forth another wave - now without a doubt, arousal - over your abdomen and perhaps it's a little embarrassing to whine so early on, but it's too much. He wrecks you with words alone.

He turns you in his embrace, your backside sticking to his front, and the way he grips your jaw still can't distract you enough from the feeling of something hard pressing against your backside.

Hand moving your chin ever so gently, he urges on.

"Tell me, little rabbit, where should I bend you over? How about that tree over there? Or maybe you prefer the rose arch? Tsk, tsk, if only you would've waited a little longer, you could've been rolling in the silk of our bed instead, but alas... you're a naughty girl that would go to borderline animalistic lengths to have me inside her as soon as possible."

It should be more humiliating and definitely less arousing, the way he accuses of those things, yet you give him a further confirmation by grinding back against his tall frame. The little hairs at the back of your neck straighten up with the portion of warm air that leaves his lips, along with the amused chuckle he produces.

It's a mystery how he walks you to where he wants you - feeling a lot like a marionette guided by his hand - and you envy him for remaining so collected. Yet it's in the little things that you find an impatience of his own. The unfastening of his belt, the fingers finding your entrance to prepare for likely rough penetration... it's a little rushed, somehow. It tells you enough about how he feels.

"Aha, so you're already soaked... you can't blame the rain on this one, I'm afraid."

The thin material sticking to your legs has done nothing to make you feel clothed, yet when Gilbert hikes it up, you can't help but squirm. You're outside and practically naked; the spot is hidden from sight with tall branches hanging over the rose arch, yet the thrill is still tremendously present. The blunt head of Gilbert's cock presses against your freshly-fingered entrance, and in a flash all thoughts and feelings unrelated to seeking pleasure dissipate in the spring rain.

"You're sucking me right in... Aww, maybe I should tease you more and pull out before I bottom out all the way in? What sounds would you make then?"

You whimper and throw your head left and right to beg him to reconsider, hoping that it wouldn't make him more amused instead - if he's met with such apparent and vocal protest at the bare suggestion of it, the real thing must be a spectacle to see...but Gilbert can be generous too. If it's hidden behind his own pending need to feel your insides wrapped nice and tight around the entire length of his cock, that's it.

Your loud groan is not drowned in the rain and your hands are too busy keeping you upright to help muffle it, and it's good that they are, because Gilbert sets a steady rhythm right away, threatening to break your fragile balance. His thrusts are deep and hard; if there was a part of you not crazed with the strong feeling of him, now surely there's none. You feel him in your bones.

The target of his love bites this time is your left ear, and it means that you get to hear even the littlest noise of purring approval rising in his throat - the slight pain is coated in strange pleasure, as you've grown addicted to it, your tastes and preferences, your morality, your whole mentality, it's all bent and molten and reshaped into something dreadful and carrying his name.

"Are you going to be good and take my load inside you?"

He doesn't have to ask; it's absurd to think of turning around and wrapping your lips around him when you'll do a poor job of serving him with your mind emptied of coherent thoughts and muscle memory is nowhere near good enough for him. Your pussy clamps down on him, hands gripping the chiseled white stone harder until your knuckles start to resemble it in color. The rain makes the smooth surface of it more slippery, as if to rob you of the little stability you have.

"Just as I thought."

Gilbert is relentless and he presses up so deep inside it almost hurts; all in pursuit of his own pleasure. He hisses and finds it right there in your core, releasing his load inside you. It's scorching and it hits you deep inside, and though you want to fuck yourself back onto his cock, you stay and accept it obediently. Perhaps enjoying it like that is better than the pathetic instinct of your body, and Gilbert is doing you a favor you have to be thankful for. Either way, your pleasure peaks and you moan out his name amidst a strong climax.

The bite on your ear is kissed better, and the cock inside you withdrawn not long after. You didn't realize the stability you were so scared of losing was called Gilbert all along. The rose arch does nothing to hold you upright, and you feel your knees hitting the ground.

"Oh no, little bunny, you'll get all dirty in the mud... did I fuck you too hard and now you can't stand up on your own?"

The air is not enough for breathing, replying to him is out of the question. An unmistakable sensation is registered inbetween your legs, and you realize that Gilbert is watching you leak his cum, legs parted helplessly as you kneel on the wet, hard ground.

"You poor thing... You played in the rain and got all drenched up, didn't you? I guess that's your naughty way of making me pity you, so I can take care of you. But don't worry. I, too, look forward to spending some more special time with you while I warm and clean you up in the bath."

Taglist: @arsnovacadenza @ale-teodora @kimi00twin @otomelady @privilegedpancake @g-kleran @pumpumnnnp @thesirenwashere @ravenarld @kimmy-banana @devonares @animeworldsposts @randomanimatedhusbandoseeker @galaxyprison @sadshaxk @starshards26 @pro-cat-stination @acethephoenix256 @ikevamp-shrine-2 @nad-zeta @crystal13unny @keen19thcenturygoatsstudent @lordsister @ikemen-banshou @themysticalbeing @canaria-blackwell @otome-scribbles @rhodolitesrose @coornn @kpop-and-otome @queen-dahlia @kisara-16 @chaosangel767 @ikemenlibrary @queengiuliettafirstlady @aurora-morning @aquagirl1978 @ikemenlover24 @violettduchess @mcofthemansion @joy-the-reader @katriniac @ikemen-writer @tele86 @gilbertvonobsidian @aceuuuuu @atelier-the-atelier Let me know if you want to be tagged/untagged!

#ikemen prince #ikepri #ikemen prince gilbert #ikepri gilbert #ikemen gilbert #gilbert von obsidian #ikemen prince gilbert von obsidian #ikemen series #ikeseries #ikemen #cybird #otome #ikepri fanfic #ikemen prince fanfic #ikepri smut #otome fanfic #late spring tryst ccc

206 notes · View notes

rpedia · 2 months

Text

[Ask RPedia] Writing Panic Attacks?

@twodemigodtraveleroflorien asked: Any advice on how to RP a character having a panic attack

Sure! As usual, ‘show don’t tell’ is gonna be big here. By that, I mean describe what is going on through connected ideas, not straightforward ones. When someone is in love they smile, and gaze, and touch. When someone is angry they sneer. When someone is scared they sweat, and triple check nothing is behind them. Don’t ever just say ‘Mary was scared’ unless it’s a stylistic choice to give a certain feel to your writing. Pick it consciously as what your story needs, or not at all.

Beyond that, panic attacks can hit in a ton of different ways. We’ll get into this below, and describe not only panic attacks, but some methods on how to help them. If you’re sensitive to this material, please don’t walk in knowingly, fuck yourself up, and have a bad day. I love you kids too much for that. Also remember this is for roleplay, I will be discussing the awkward as fuck things, like “picking which symptoms match your character” and “using panic attacks in plot.”

Writers, amirite? (Please only continue if you’re in the mental space for it! It can get graphic and triggering. Take breaks as needed.)

To reassure my readers, yes, I have had panic attacks an awful lot. So I can actually speak from experience for once. But only my experience, so give me some slack if yours hits you differently, or if I don’t nail it. Give other writers that slack too, and don’t think one size fits all will ever work here. Give them the benefit of the doubt, so long as they make a decent effort. No one needs their panic attacks nitpicked, it’s either from personal experience or to further the plot. Do either of those things really need someone telling them right at that moment they’re not doing it right? If they’re just making a mockery of it OOCly, go ahead and rip ‘em with facts. ICly, well, Jan. It’s supposed to be problematic, that’s a plot hook for character growth. If it bugs you, communicate that OOCly you’d like to move on.

So anyways, let’s just waltz right into the thick of it. According to the diagnostic criteria listed in the DSM-5, panic attacks are experienced as a sudden sense of fear and dread plus four or more of the following mental, emotional, and physical symptoms:

Heart palpitations or accelerated heart rate

Feelings of numbness or tingling sensations

Excessive sweating

Trembling or shaking

Shortness of breath or smothering sensations

Feeling of choking

Chest pain or discomfort

Nausea or abdominal pain

Feeling dizzy, unsteady, lightheaded, or faint

Chills or hot flashes

Derealization and/or depersonalization

Fear of losing control or going crazy

Fear of dying

So immediately we realize, not everyone’s panic attacks are going to be the same thing. Some people get their heart beating a mile a minute, and feel like they’re miles away, are scared they’ll die, and be afraid they’ll lose control. Some people will have aggressive chest pains, start sweating and shaking, then feel like they’re going to pass out, choke, and vomit at the same time. Can you see why those would present differently in a roleplay, or how they’d fit different character models better, or even the outcomes of these on different personalities? That’s important to the writer right there. You have to understand your character and how they would experience fear, and sensations that are unpleasant, and which ones they’re feeling.

The only thing that is solidly in every panic attack is that sudden feeling of dread or fear. People who have not had one can relate to it, honestly. Have you ever turned off the lights in your bathroom or some dark spooky hallway and suddenly felt like something was in there? Then you have to fucking run before the thing gets you, or turn on a light to check, and the hairs rise on your neck and your eyes open up wide enough to suck in every photon of light for miles because suddenly your brain wants the power to see in the dark? Yeah. That creeping feeling of being prey is the dread and fear. Yes, people may feel these differently. Fear is not exactly one size fits all. But this is a pretty good start to understanding the drop of an ‘oh fuck’ barreling down on you from behind.

Myths abound on panic attack causes, but the truth is simple. Sometimes, they happen because something triggered it, but a lot of the time there is no trigger. Your body just decides to fuck you over because that seems like a great idea right now. You can’t even really avoid them by sleeping. That’s right, you can get panic attacks while dead asleep. That’s so thoughtful of them, they don’t want you miss out, I say in the most sarcastic voice ever.

The good thing is, no, you can’t die from a panic attack or be ‘driven insane’,and no they aren’t just you overreacting to fear or pain. They aren’t even always part of a panic disorder (other disorders bring them to the party too). The good news is, although they suck rancid eggs, they can be managed. If you treat some of the underlying causes, you can help lessen them over time.

What disorders are linked? Oh boy, that’s a hell of a list. Anxiety disorders are a big one, agoraphobia, OCD, depression, Bipolar disorder. They all like to invite panic attacks with them. Other fun party guests are eating disorders, personality disorders, and substance-related conditions. Heck, GERD, IBS, and sleeping disorders are also friends with panic attacks. So while writing your character, look at what might be the underlying cause of it. Whatever building blocks you pick end up visible in not only panic attacks you decided to throw in to make the scene worse, but a constant background noise to their lives.

That’s one of the important things you need to remember. If you choose to give your character a condition like the above, there’s a couple rules that make this go over a lot better with the community. Let’s look at them.

Do not only use it to get attention. It may be plot relevant, but if it comes up every single time the spotlight is off you, it gets old quick. This is a shitty medical thing, not your golden ticket to being fussed over.

Do not use the disorder as their only personality. You have a character who happens to have and live with the disorder, not a walking form of the disorder who happens to have some character stuck in there.

Do not use it to only have good things happen. Realistically, you may get a panic attack at the worst time ever and fuck everything up. Don’t make it a ‘get out of jail free’ card, balance it with bad timing and bad outcomes.

Do not play Sympathy Sue with it. We don’t want to have to coax, dote, and protect your character every step of the way in a story without them ever showing signs of doing anything but keeping the attention on them and their issues. In real life, real people have personalities beyond their issues, they have friends, they tend to learn how to manage things over time. So let your character grow, and show themselves too. In writing, we do this for fun and to escape bad things. We don’t want to shoulder something during playtime, we may encounter often in real life.

Do not go into this without research. Practice writing up little stories to describe the symptoms. Read everything you can. Look up webpages, blogs, and everything where people are offering the information on their struggles freely.

Make sure everyone in the group is comfortable playing this out. It can trigger things when you go whole hog descriptive about every symptom they have until they suddenly start having one in real life because fuck, they’re right there again. Never surprise someone with a panic attack in character unless you know it’s okay, or are willing to just skim over it.

Understand the gist of why these exist? Good. Go with the spirit of them, not the letter of them. Basically respect, even though as writers we intentionally use them for plot and growth, we should not abuse that ability by lacking respect for the real people who have them. Be tactful, be polite, be respectful as the person behind the keyboard. Anything that isn’t tactful, polite, or respectful had better be in character, and had better relate to the plot and characterization pretty damn well. You should also make it very obvious that you disagree with the character in narration. If they say something crass or obtuse, point out that they said something crass and obtuse.

“It’s not like it’s really that bad, you’re just scared right? Get over it, you whiner,” he said, sneering. His lack of empathy for the subject really showed his lack of experience with it.

Tada, by adding in one line, you’re a better writer in general, and have accurately explored characterization while pointing out you recognize he’s a total asshole. Doing things in a way that clearly shows you give a damn and understand what you’re choosing to let the character do is the key to not pissing someone else off.

Okay so back to the attacks! These symptoms are basically just names right now. You can say what’s happening straight out, and that’s cool, but... how do you make your reader empathize with them? You’re going to want to explore each of these feelings in writing, or at least the ones you know you’re going to use. This is homework! Explain each of these in detail in a way you can connect with them. Put yourself into your character’s position, and write from the heart.

Their heart racing, what do they feel when this happens? The skipping beats that feel awkward and clunky? The way you can feel it pounding along, a mile a minute, ready to burst out of your chest? Go running, when your heart rate gets up there, you’ll really fucking quickly pick up on how that part feels. The pounding, heaviness of a heart going so fast your shirt is trembling, and your hands can’t stay steady. Describe it, describe how that heartbeat going mad feels to you and how out of place it is.

Tingling and numbness? You might have had a limb go to sleep before, use that as a jumping off point. Except in a panic attack, it’s everywhere and the pins aren’t painful. They’re just a loss of feeling everywhere. Your hands tickle with them, your skin feels like it’s tightened up weird, and can’t feel like it used to even if you’re hypersensitive to touch. Sweating so much you soak the sheets? Use that experience, the dripping, the suddenness. How it contrasts with the temperature being comfortable. Sweating from anxiousness or nerves. Damp palms. I fucking hate flop sweats like that, because I end up with a disgusting feeling scalp, wet neck, and my body is just damp all over after I’ve been through an extreme.

Everyone’s probably trembled in their lives. A shiver through your limbs. What happens when you tremble? Is it harder to write, or grab onto things? Is your grip worse? Explore how trembling effects your environment as much as it effects you. It helps to understand that the tremble is sudden, violent. You cannot stop it, it’s beyond your control, and you struggle to keep yourself from showing it a lot if you’re that type of a person. Since it’s down to personality, someone might have a shaking quavering voice, or they might be hiding that shaking hand and stiffening up to hide it all from the others.

Choking, smothering, unable to breathe... well that sounds like running to me, but I’m out of shape as hella. Crying does it too though, unable to get past a throat filled with snot. The absolute lack of breath, it’s like you’re depressurized. Remember nothing, from the feeling of choking, to the stitch in your side, to feeling sick to your stomach, is exclusive to a panic attack. You’ll probably have encountered being dizzy or light headed in your life without ever seeing a panic attack. Chills and hot flashes too. They can be way more extreme, like sitting there shivering and teeth chattering despite being in a 85°F/29°C room. Just absolutely taken by how cold you are, and nothing can warm you because you’re already sweating. It looks a lot like a symptom of shock, which is why they throw those blankets over you after a severe accident of any kind, even if you’re not hurt.

While you’re looking at those, don’t just look at the symptom. Look at the character’s reaction to the symptoms. Does stomach pain make them cry? Does it make the shortness of breath worse? Do they have sweating, lightheadedness, hot flashes, and nausea and just wave it off as a thing that’s happening because they’re scared? Mix and match. Some characters handle things better than others. Some have different reactions. Find them, and pull them out and shove them in the light for other people to see.

The final symptoms are a bit more in-depth because we can’t find aspects of them to jump off of from real life. Derealization, depersonalization, a fear of losing control or not feeling ‘sane’, or a fear of dying? These we might not feel very often or at all if we’re neurotypical. So we’re going to rely on people who have experienced them to learn about what they’re like. That’s dangerous territory, be respectful when you explore it. Not sure where you’ll find details on these without stepping on toes? Hi! I’ve had all of them, so lemme get down to brass tacks and tell you what they may be like. Once again, one person’s experiences do not equal all people’s experiences, but as an intelligent person with critical thinking you knew that and were totally going to google Reddit threads and blogs about the subject if you intended to write them, right?

So, derealization and depersonalization are very interconnected, which is probably while they’re listed as a grouped symptom in the list. They are experiencing the feeling of becoming entirely unhinged from either reality, or yourself. It’s a wild sensation to be several feet outside of your body, watching as everything happens. It’s even more wild that it can vary, a few inches away, or even just ‘somewhere else’ while your body keeps going. You can lose your entire grip on a situation, your mind fully consumed with something else, to the point you don’t really feel like it’s you talking, or moving.

Same thing when everything stops feeling real. Like you’re in a movie, or a dream, watching shit play out you have no control over. Yet, you function through it. On autopilot, saying the things you would say, doing the things you would or should do. Even though you’re feeling a bubble or padding between you and there. In my case, I’ve definitely felt like I was underwater, and should be unable to breathe, but I was breathing fine, looking through this glassy feeling at a body that was going through a panic attack, but it wasn’t really me. It was a bunch of chemical firing, everything happening felt rehearsed, fake, and far away. Like, it had been predetermined to happen, and I had no control over it.

It’s varied between feeling like I, personally, am not the person doing shit. I look into a mirror, and some stranger is looking back at me, who has the wrong everything. Sometimes everything isn’t real, there’s no way everything can look like this can feel like this when the world is shutting down for me. I am empty, why is the world doing this, it cannot be real. Except it is. This is such a numbing, empty experience, that it leaves you really struggling to find something to anchor yourself to. Those are not my hands. My hands aren’t that size. This room is not my room, it looks wrong, the color is off in a way I can’t describe, the comfort isn’t for me. It’s really fucking mindboggling, and all this?

Is on top of other symptoms. At the same time. My dude lemme tell you, wearing another person’s skin and watching them unable to breath because they’re choking on air, while they suddenly go freezing cold, teeth chattering, is a TRIP!

Fear of losing control or going crazy is fun too, in the way that I can being super sarcastic on one hand because it’s not fun at all; and also very very genuine because I have an analytical mind and it’s cool to see my own brain degrade in front of me. When in the throes of this, I definitely know I’m not insane, but what if I am? What if this is the moment I snap and lose it entirely? What if this is the terrifying reality now, that I’m never going to get any of these other symptoms under control, and instead I’m going to get worse and start chewing the walls and attacking people left and right? What if this is my breaking point?

The terror just eats away at you, because no matter how much someone says that you’re gonna be fine, and that you’re not insane, they have no idea. They’re not a professional, and they don’t have some kind of little device that lets them see what’s going on in your head. When your thoughts get jumbled and frantic like that, it can super feel like you’re losing the plot entirely. You really do start to believe there’s no hope for you and they’re going drag you off and drug you up because everything that makes you you has spiderwebbed into this wild ass new person who has had their sanity ripped out of their hands.

I blame Hollywood for a lot of this, because you see this kind of thing happen. Someone becomes too emotional, and wa-bam, they never come back from it. They got comatose, or hysterical and have to be dragged away. They never quite make it back to their former selves, and that! Is! terrifying! And just the kind of unrealistic thing a mind having met it’s limit would throw at you because it can no longer keep track of what is actually happening.

Fear of dying is the last one, and after the things above, is it really any surprise that you might feel like you were dying in the middle of all this? Now the last time I got this, I had managed to get a head injury and a seizure so maybe it was an ickle bitty bit of a realistic fear. (Also, I’m fine, but obviously some things have happened since I last wrote for you guys, be nice to me.) With all these feelings of rushing inevitability, fear of the end of yourself is RIGHT up there waving its hands and demanding to be seen. This is, I also got this from... slightly cutting my thumb while cooking.

It doesn’t have to make sense, I knew my thumb was not going to bleed out, but I was ready to face death because oh no, something terrible has happened. My brain saw one big drop of blood, and it was done. I was officially dying. I would lose the thumb, I would get gangrene, I would die in a corner somewhere. It became something that overwhelmed all my senses and I had to lay down for a while and let it pass. All I wanted was someone to be there for me while I was inevitably dying of a boo boo. That’s how extreme it can go from literally nothing, so it’s super hard to shake off if you pick it as one of your character’s responses!

Now if you had to take a break during this at any time, that’s perfectly normal. It may be a sign that you shouldn’t RP this situation though, because that’s gonna be even more intense. Plus, if it’s tied to your character, and you’re the type to be inside your characters POV for the smoothest writing process? You might feel like it’s happening to you. Method acting can bite you in the ass if this is something you can trigger by experiencing it. On the other hand, RPing your way through it can help compartmentalize it, and putting those horrible feelings into a new situation can help you recontextualize it from an outside perspective. Making it easier later to go through a panic attack because now you have another experience to draw from. There’s a reason Therapists like it when you roleplay.

Just remember, roleplaying is for story and fun. If you find yourself far too deep, aftercare may be needed. You don’t have to always ask someone else for that, you can just give yourself something relaxing after play. Hit up your favorite goofy TV show. Eat a treat you really love and let yourself be in the moment while you savor it. Take a nice warm bath if that’s the kind of thing that relaxes you. Sure, it’s roleplay, but it can have a real emotional effect on you, same as any other experience! So, if you need to, find someone you can talk it out with. If not friends, then a professional who can give you the tools to make the most of your new experience in helping yourself. Hell, if you simply got to the end of this and feel drained or something, go give yourself a treat and cool off a bit!

Anyways thank you for reading! Hope this helps in really expressing panic attacks a little more clearly in text, but always remember to CHECK IN on your partner. Make SURE they’re comfortable with the level of detail you want to get into! If not, go for a lighter hand! Write a vignette on the side, and upload it to your Tumblr as a fanfic of your RP if you wanna prove your skills without effecting other people! Tag your shit! Be aware of those around you, and really do make sure everyone’s comfortable when you’re exploring topics like these.

If you try your best to get it right and do the research, it’s obvious to others. You’ll be fine. Happy RPing!

#RPedia #Ask RPedia #roleplaying #roleplaying help #roleplaying tips #rph #panic attacks #triggering material #trigger warning #panic #writing #writing a panic attack

25 notes · View notes

sparrowofthedawnsworld · 2 years

Text

Say You’re Sorry - Josh Kiszka

A/N: I’m not even gonna get into why I wanted to write something like this… So, enjoy gresties.

WARNINGS: This is strictly 18+ content! Minors please DNI! Angsty and filthyyy smut, with a fluffy (kind of cliché) ending. Oral (m&f receiving), fingering, overstimulation/multiple orgasms, unprotected sex.

••••

“I cannot believe you!“ Josh yelled, getting closer and closer to your face. “How am I even supposed to trust you now?!”

You and Josh had been a thing for a couple months now. Not officially dating, but exclusively talking… or so Josh thought the “exclusive” part was clear.

Getting caught up in the heat of the moment and acting with poor impulse control, you had seen someone else, after you had already been talking to Josh for about a month or so. You didn’t tell him, thinking it wouldn’t be a big deal. But, through the inevitable grapevine, he found out… And not happy was an understatement. He was livid.

To be fair, you couldn’t blame him. He had every right to be. You knew good and well what you had done was very wrong…

“Josh, I know I fucked up… please, what can I do to fix this?” You questioned pleadingly, the thought of losing Josh entirely made you lightheaded and nauseous.

He stared at you for a while, completely silent. You could see how hard his heart was beating, by the veins in his throat.

“I don’t know if there’s anything you can do…” he answered. His voice was bone chilling.

You let out a shaky breath, feeling a lump beginning to form in your throat and tears stinging the corners of your eyes. You held them back, nodding at him in complete defeat… You knew this was the consequences of your actions and there wasn’t much you could do to reverse the damage that you’d done.

A sickening silence weighed on the two of you for what felt like an eternity, before Josh finally turned around and started walking towards the door.

You didn’t even bother to stop him… knowing there was nothing you could do or say at this point.

After going just over a week without hearing from Josh, you started to settle with the fact that he most likely wasn’t going to come back around.

As much as you wanted to call or text him and beg for forgiveness, you knew he’d just ignore it. You knew if he was thinking about forgiving you and coming back, pestering him would more than likely change his mind. So, you opted to just give him space.

As more haunting thoughts about the situation flooded your mind, you were startled by a sudden and harsh knock on your front door.

Scrambling to it, you opened up the door slowly, gasping as you laid eyes on who was standing on the other side.

“Oh, my god..” you whispered more to yourself, in complete shock.

“I came to talk to you.” Josh said simply.

You searched his face for any emotion and couldn’t find an ounce, but you opened the door up for him anyway and let him in.

‘he’s definitely about to tell me this is it.’ you thought to yourself.

Closing the door, you turned almost directly into Josh. Jumping at how close he was standing, you stood there staring up at him for a moment, breath caught in your lungs.

“You know… I’ve been so disappointed with you.” Josh started to speak, looking away from you. “But… everyone makes mistakes, right?” he questioned, eyes coming back to meet yours, but this time they were darker. His face held little emotion still.

You nodded, unable to form a single word.

“I’ve fucked up a lot. You know that. And even though what you did was so wrong… I’m willing to give you another chance.” Your eyes widened, almost falling out of your head at his words. You definitely didn’t think this was what you’d be hearing today at all. You opened your mouth to speak, but he stopped you.

“Ah.” Josh put his hand up.

“But…” he stepped even closer, forcing you backwards until your back hit the door.

“If you EVER break my trust like this again…” his hand came up to your face, taking your jaw in his hand with just enough pressure to keep your head in place. “Look at me.” He demanded, waiting for you to look him in the eyes before he continued.

“I will not hesitate to cut you off completely.” he warned. “I care about you more than I think you understand or realize. Please, don’t end up on my bad side. I don’t want that and I know you don’t. Am I clear?”

“Very clear, Josh. I’m so sorry. I can’t say sorry enough…” You answered, trying to hold back tears. “I promise it will never happen again.”

His hand retreated from your jaw, falling back to his side. You wanted so badly to lean up and kiss him. You’d missed his touch and presence so much and your whole body was aching for his undivided attention. But you knew good and well you probably weren’t going to get that yet.

Or so you thought…

“You’re right, Y/N. You can’t say you’re sorry enough.” Josh echoed your words back to you, his hand that had once been on your jaw, wrapped around your throat, applying just enough pressure to make your breath hitch slightly.

“You’ve gotta earn your way back up…” he spoke, seemingly throwing a double meaning to his words.

Your face twisted in confusion and a little bit of fear. You were thankful he knew you well enough, to somewhat know where your mind was going.

He released his hold on your throat, taking your hand and pulling you towards your bedroom.

Josh let you go in first, following closely behind you. He wasted no time closing the door and pulling you flush against his body somewhat roughly.

“I’ve missed you so much, I have been in the worst fucking mood because of it.” Josh confessed, trying to pull you even closer.

“I’ve missed you so much, too. You have no idea…” your arms were wrapped so tightly around him, as if he might disappear.

Finally he took a firm hold of your face once again, lips meeting yours in a frenzied kiss that made your head spin. It was far more intense than any of your -many- previous kisses.

You broke away, gasping to refill your lungs with air and gauge his reaction. Josh had never looked at you with such need and intensity. Perhaps he was right when he said he cared for you, more than you understand.

“Come here.” pulling you towards the bed, he pushed you back down onto it with a force that had you aching for more. He was never quite this rough with you.

He crawled over top of you, using his weight to pin you down against the bed. Leaning down and pressing his lips against your ear, he whispered. “I’m gonna make sure you know exactly who you fucking belong to.”

“Josh, please.” you whined, reaching up to pull his face closer so you could kiss him. He simply shoved your arm away, getting off of you completely.

As he got up, he tugged his shirt over his head, discarding it god knows where.

“Get up and get on your knees. Right here.” He said firmly, pointing to the floor in front of him.

You wasted absolutely no time scrambling off the bed, sinking to the floor exactly where his finger had just been pointing.

“Still such a good listener.” he praised. brushing your face with the back of his hand.

“Only for you.” you affirmed, looking up at him with the doe eyes you knew drove him just a little crazy.

“Is it really only for me, though?” he tsked, alluding to your mistake and your head dropped in guilt.

“No, just for you. I promise, Josh. It will always only be you.” you swore, meeting his burning gaze again.

“Prove it.” Undoing the button of his pants, he pushed them down along with his boxers.

You had never seen Josh so hard before. You reached up, tugging him a little closer by the back of his leg.

Not wanting to waste anymore time, you took him into one of your hands and brought your mouth down to his tip. You licked up the pre cum that was leaking out of him steadily, humming at the taste of him.

Definitely not wanting him to think you were trying to tease, you took him into your mouth as far as you could go, eyes watering slightly when he was close to the back of your throat.

“Christ, this is just what I needed…” he groaned, one of his hands tangling into your hair roughly.

“You’re just too pretty on your knees, sucking me off like it’s your only job in the world.” You moaned around him at his words, moving your head and hand faster.

In this moment, that was all you were here for. Just for him.

“Move your hand.” Josh commanded, other hand coming to intertwine itself into your hair.

You did as you were told, moving your hand off of his throbbing cock and dropping it to your lap with the other. You looked up at him, tears gathering in the corners of your eyes.

Slowly, he started to thrust in and out of your mouth. Your muffled moans mixed in with his as he fucked your face harder and harder.

While you would never do anything too far, finding somewhat innocent and sneaky ways to provoke this side of Josh, was something you were already thinking about.

“Fuck- I’m gonna cum in this pretty mouth.” he told you, making it sound like a warning, but also letting you know you had no say in the matter.

You nodded as much as your current position would allow you, letting him know you were more than ready to take whatever he gave you.

A few more thrusts as deep as he could go without truly hurting you, and Josh’s head fell back in bliss. Your mouth around his cock, was the only part of him you were touching, but you could still feel him shaking.

“Fuck- oh, fuck..” he whimpered above you. For a split second, you could see his dominance wavering.

Coming down from his high, Josh pulled out of your mouth carefully. “Your mouth is my fucking favorite. It never disappoints me.” he praised.

Your face burned, cheeks taking on a deep pink. You loved the way he was talking to you and he definitely knew it, too. But, his compliments and praise didn’t last long. He pulled just his boxers back up and you frowned.

“Strip for me.” Josh ordered simply, stepping to the side of you and walking towards the bed.

He sat down, watching you intently.

Mustering up all the courage and composure you had left, you hurried up from your knees.

Hastily you grabbed at your shirt, pulling it over your head much too quickly for Josh’s liking.

“I said strip. Not rip your clothes off.” Amused by your eagerness to obey, a low chuckle sounded from him, which in some twisted way soothed you a little. Your sweet, giggly Josh was still inside him somewhere. Just tucked away for a while.

You mumbled a quick apology, slowing down your movements significantly, giving Josh the little show he clearly wanted.

“Much better.” he smirked, eyes never leaving your body.

Once you were only left in your panties, he stopped you. “Leave those on. I’ll take them off when I’m ready.”

You heart stuttered, knowing good and well the torturous teasing you were bound to be in for.

You’d hoped Josh would take at least a little pity on you, but you were in no position to ask for his grace.

With a single finger, he beckoned you back to the bed.

Just like all of his other orders, you obeyed immediately and made your way back to the bed.

He moved out of your way, giving you room to climb in and lay down, before moving over top of you.

Deciding to poke around and see where his mind was, you spoke up. “Josh, please no teasing.” you pleaded.

“Oh, I was never planning on teasing you, baby. I have a much better idea than that.” Leaning in closer to your face, a devilish smirk formed over his lips.

“And I think it will be much more effective at teaching you such a lesson.” his gravely voice spoke lowly, just barely loud enough for you to hear.

His fingers grazed up the middle of your belly, making you shudder. A shaky breath leaving your lips. Your whole body felt like it was on fire, doomed to explode at any given moment under the command of Josh’s touch and words.

Thinking he was finally going to kiss you, he abandoned the act and dipped his head down to your neck, making you whine in protest.

“Shut up.” Using his hand to turn your head to the side, Josh had full access to all the spots he knew would make you a pathetic mess. “For every noise you make, equals an orgasm I’m going to give you.”

It sounded like less of a punishment than it really was. Your eyes widened, knowing good and well Josh knew your body like the back of his own hand.

You were completely fucked. He knew every which way to pull noises from your lungs. He wasn’t going to play fair.

Accepting your fate, you opened your mouth to tell him you understood. Josh raised a single eyebrow, waiting for you to slip up already.

You shut your mouth instantly, opting to nod your understanding instead.

Going back to kissing along your neck, he stopped just above your collarbone, sucking and biting at the sensitive flesh there. Your breath hitched and you fought against the whimper that had bubbled up.

Josh hummed to himself, smiling against your skin and you knew he was about to up the ante.

Skipping over all the untouched skin in between, he went straight to your breasts.

Before you could even blink, he took both of your nipples in between his fingers, pinching them with a force that made your back arch off the bed. A high pitched cry of pain mixed with pleasure, forcing it’s way out of you.

“Fucking hell-“ you cried out, trying to settle yourself down before you could tally up any more orgasms.

“I believe that’s two, isn’t it?” Josh’s head tipped back in triumph, knowing he had you right where he wanted you now.

You glared at him, trying your best to calm your breathing.

He continued working his way down your body, stopping right at your hips to leave a few hickies scattered around them. An especially hard bite drew a whimper from you. You kept still, hoping Josh just didn’t notice, but alas.

“Three.” he counted, grinning against your skin and continuing down.

You wanted to reach down and smack him, but you were in for enough as it was.

“Let’s get these off.” he hooked his hands into your panties, gliding them down your legs and all the way off, tossing them onto the floor somewhere.

Moving back over you, he pushed your legs apart, diving in right away and connecting his lips with your swollen bud of nerves. He knew giving you no warning, would work in his favor.

“Josh-“ you gasped, hips unintentionally jerking away.

“You’re in for a long night if you don’t pipe down, darling.” he taunted, licking up your center agonizingly slow. He teased at your entrance with two of his fingers, making you squirm.

He took a firm hold on your hip, holding you still, starting to devour you like it was the first time he’d eaten in months….

Which in a way, was kind of true.

You did all too well at holding back any and all noises, but you knew you would be done for as soon as you reached that sweet release. And you weren’t far from it. You could feel the burning in the pit of your stomach, spreading slowly through your whole body.

Feeling your walls flutter around his fingers, Josh glanced up at you. He knew you were close.

Becoming a little frustrated by your silence, he added a third finger and sucked your clit into his mouth. Within seconds, you were clenching around his fingers repeatedly.

The band of intense pleasure snapped inside you and the moan that ripped out of you, was almost embarrassing.

“fuck, fuck, fuck- Josh-“ you choked out, body convulsing in bliss.

“That’s it, keep making those filthy noises for me. You must want me to make you cum until you’re crying.” Josh tantalized, fingers never coming to a complete stop inside you.

“J-Josh, please. This is gonna be a n-never ending cycle.” you stuttered out. You knew that was his whole point in this; you cum, make more noises, he makes you cum again and the cycle continues.

“Guess you better know your safe word, huh?” he asked, tone filled with fake sympathy. Climbing back over top of you fully, he kept two fingers easing in and out of you slowly, but steadily, thumb barely resting on your swollen clit.

“Why’d you have to be such a bad girl? I could be worshipping you… Telling you all those beautiful praises I know you love to hear..” Your eyes stayed locked with his.

He was beyond godly looking above you and even though he was barely doing anything, you were nearly reaching another orgasm.

“But instead, I have to fuck you senseless like a little slut.” Josh emphasized his sentence with a sharp curl of his fingers and added more pressure to your clit.

“God- fuck!” you moaned, pushing your hips up into his hand.

“Oh, you liked that didn’t you? Who knew you weren’t just a little praise whore.” he teased, placing kisses along your jaw and cheeks.

After what felt like forever, he finally brushed his lips against yours again. You leaned up to meet him as much as you could, kissing him like it was the only thing you knew how to do. He curled his fingers inside of you, hitting that sweet spot he knew so well and you moaned into his mouth.

Pulling away, Josh studied your face in awe as it twisted in pleasure yet again.

“Josh! Pl-please- ” you begged, feeling the beginning of another orgasm just within your reach.

“No need to beg, my love. This pretty cunt is gonna get more than enough pleasure tonight.” Josh promised, looking down at you.

Your second orgasm came over you much quicker than the first, leaving you shifting away from Josh’s fingers. You tried your best to steady your breathing, sucking in shallow, gasping breaths through your near constant whimpers.

“Have you had enough of these?” He asked with a sarcastic sweetness. You nodded, trying to calm yourself down. “Mm, guess I should put my mouth to work then.”

“Josh, c-come on…” you grabbed at his bicep, trying to hold him in place. “I- I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry. I’ve learned my lesson.” You told him, and he squinted his eyes at you skeptically.

“Have you really learned your lesson? That fast?” he questioned, and you nodded frantically. “Yes.”

“I’m not convinced.” was all he said, shoving your hand off his arm and moving back down between your legs again.

A sound of utter frustration and defeat choked it’s way out of you.

Within a few minutes Josh brought you to a third orgasm, using practically all the strength he had to keep you in place on the bed.

He switched between sucking and licking at your achingly sensitive bundle of nerves, humming against you every so often, the vibration only adding to the much too intense pleasure he was giving you.

Not a single sound came out of you. It was like everything just stopped as the third high ripped through your body. Josh seemed to take slight pity on you, pulling his mouth away entirely as you came down.

Your chest heaved with labored breaths and if you could have formed a complete sentence, you would have thanked Josh for stopping.

Except he wasn’t done.

Josh stood up from the bed, removing his boxers. He was even harder than before, part of you couldn’t believe that was even possible.

Groaning as he pumped himself in his hand, he looked over your body laid out on the bed.

“You won’t be able to think about another dick when I’m done with you.” he said in a matter-of-fact tone, climbing back into the bed.

He grabbed on to you roughly, flipping you over to your hands and knees without a word.

“My little slut wants dick that bad?” he pressed his hand between your shoulder blades, shoving you into the bed, other hand holding up your hips. “Then that’s what my little slut is gonna get.”

without any warning, he pushed into you fully, filling you up to the hilt.

“Fuck, Josh!” You buried your face into the pillow below you, the sting of him stretching you out making you groan.

He gave a few slow, but deep thrusts making sure you were fully ready to take him the way he needed you to.

“Fuck me ha-harder.” you begged, whimpering and gripping at the sheets in anticipation.

“So pathetic. You know I’m gonna fuck you senseless and yet, you’re still beneath me begging.” picking up his speed and force, he settled into a bruising pace.

You cried out into the pillow again, each of his thrusts driving your further into the mattress.

Deciding he didn’t want you holding back or muffling your sweet sounds anymore, he jerked the pillow out from under you. “Let me fucking hear you.”

“Fucking- hell!” you struggled out, cheeks turning red at the ungodly noises coming out of you with each forceful snap of his hips.

“Say you’re sorry.” Josh demanded.

“I’m- I’m… sorry.” you choked out as best you could between your moans.

“I don’t think you mean it.” Josh’s hand came down against your left ass cheek and you cried out loudly. “Louder. Say it like you fucking mean it.”

“I’m so- so sorry, Josh!” you repeated, louder this time.

Josh’s hand- still between your shoulders, slid it’s way up to the back of your neck. Hauling you up until your back collided with his chest, his lips brushed against your neck.

“Yeah? You really mean it, mama?” he asked in a tone that was almost mocking.

You let your head fall against his shoulder, mouth falling open in bliss of the new angle.

“Y-yes! Yes, I me-mean it!”

Josh let go of you, letting you fall back down against the bed. You barely even realized he’d pulled out you. Quickly, he was flipping you over and shoving back into you in one swift move.

Propping himself up with his forearm, he came down close enough to connect his lips with yours. All while his other hand made home around your throat.

“I hope you fucking mean it. For your sake.” he growled as he pulled back.

You opened your mouth to speak, trying to tell him of your impending orgasm, but as hard as you tried nothing would come out.

Thankfully, Josh knew your body better than anyone ever did- and probably ever will.

“You’re close aren’t you?” you managed a frantic nod, eyes squeezed shut and mouth gaped in pleasure.

Constant moans and incoherent words poured from your constantly parted lips. Josh’s cock reaching places inside you, that you didn’t even know existed.

Switching to hold himself up with his other arm, he moved the one that was once holding him up, between your two bodies.

Josh’s fingers had barely come in contact with you swollen, hypersensitive clit- Your hands found his shoulders, clinging to them in an attempt to keep yourself grounded. Your head fell back and mouth hung open in overly-intense pleasure.

You couldn’t hear Josh anymore, you could barely even feel your body.

This orgasm split you open, baring all that you had to Josh. And he took it… Everything this earth shattering orgasm had to offer him- bringing him to his own euphoric high.

Coming down after god knows how long, all you could feel was Josh. His scent, his body, his warm, raspy voice. Just him.

“Hey…” he spoke gently, cradling your face in one of his hands. “Wanna join me back on earth, mama?”

Your eyes fluttered open and were met with his; warm and much softer than the dark, lust filled eyes you’d been looking at for who knows how long that evening.

“Hi, mama.” he softly smiled, head tilting to the side as though he was studying this new state of post-orgasm haze you were in. “Are you okay?” he questioned, genuine concern filling his voice. “Did I go too far??”

You shook your head, smiling at him lazily. “No, it wasn’t too much. It was just what I needed.” you reassured him. He smirked at that. “Just what you needed, huh?”

You nudged his chest weakly, shaking your head at him. After a moment of silence between you two, he became serious.

“I forgive you.” he said earnestly, looking straight into your eyes. “I’m willing to give this another chance.”

“I’m truly sorry… And I promise, nothing like that will ever happen again.” You stared at each other for a moment, appreciating one another after being apart for what felt like forever.

“I love you. I love you more than you truly know.” You smiled at him, both your hands hooking around the back of his neck.

“And I love you. You and I are gonna be fine.” he assured you, tone still serious.

“Josh, just tell me one thing?”

“Anything, baby.” he grinned, never looking away from you.

“How do I get rough, angry Josh, more often?” you smirked, laughing when he rolled his eyes with a groan.

Josh shook his head as he got up, carefully scooping you up in his arms and carrying you towards the bathroom.

“Let me tell you a little secret…” he whispered lowly, glancing down at you. A smirk tugged at the corner of his lips.

“Don’t play with fire, my girl.”

#greta van fleet #peaceful army #josh kiszka #gvf #gvf smut #josh gvf #gvf fic #greta van fleet smut #greta van fic #greta van fleet fics #josh kiszka smut #josh kiszka x reader #joshua kiszka #josh x reader #greta van smut #greta van fleet fan fiction

479 notes · View notes

jamisonwritestf2trash · 6 months

Note

9. (Hate or Love) at first sight with RED Sniper and BLU Spy (Enemies to Lovers, or just homoerotic enemies since youre not writing a novel here. Btw youre doing great so dont worry about rushing through all your asks <3)

❤️Red Sniper + Blu Spy💙

————————————————————

Ah, homoerotic enemies to lovers, my beloved 🫶🏻 Finally writing this paired with the fact that someone asked for Bloodysuit headcanons works very well, I'm sure. Uh! I added a bit more than the original prompt because I have this idea that I need to speak on❗️Also, this means I'm finally chipping away at all this piled up content! Would you believe I have over 40 requests piled up? Anyways! Enough about me. let's get to the gays.

Per the last fic with red and blu mercs, I'm just going to call them Sniper and Spy, they are red and blu respectively.

————————————————————

Sniper, even though he would never admit it, likes to recall the first time he met Spy, even if it was the start of his most infuriating rivalry.

The sun was beating down on everyone, making it unbearably hot. Sniper leaned back on his chair, stretching out slightly before quickly getting back into position, scoping the battlefield.

He stopped when his sights landed on Spy, hidden in the shade. Now maybe Sniper should have taken the shot right then and there, killing the man before he even became a problem, after all, that was his job, but he found himself unable to, only managing to stare him down. He was fussing with his clothes silently, probably despising the heat, not being used to the hot days, Sniper found himself enamored by watching Spy, wondering why he seemed so out of place. A weird mix of annoyance and intrigue washed over Sniper, and he found himself wanting to know everything he could about the strange man. He wanted to be close to him for reasons he's still not sure of. He knew the feelings rising inside him were a problem. He shook the memories of the term "love at first sight" from his head. That couldn't be right. He looked like such a pompous bastard, so arrogant, so, oh. He knew know why he was so fascinated, Spy pissed him off. That was all. That had to be it because that was a lot easier than Sniper having to admit he fell hard for a man he didn't even know. The mix of emotions in Sniper's head made him confused and rather irritated. So he did what anyone would do in order to cope with strange new emotions. He took a shot, sending a bullet drilling straight through his skull. Direct hit. He found his feelings muddled by his newfound pride in how clean his kill had been. He let out a soft chuckle and went back to work.

A little under ten minutes had passed before Sniper was distracted by a soft creak behind him. His hand slowly reached for his machete, but he was too slow. A knife to his back made him drop to the floor. He looked up as his vision faded to see the smirking face of Spy looking down at him. When he found himself back at the respawn, he knew his feelings had to be hate, and that this was the beginning of a battle. A battle he was determined to win.

That was about six months ago, and the fight between the two had only gotten more intense. Both sides were prideful and ready to best the other until one day, the outcome was different. Sniper found himself watching Spy through his scope, something that had become a routine lately. He'd find himself staring for a moment too long before taking the shot, admiring the man before him. He had tried to convince himself it was all out for trying to take the perfect shot, to get the angles just right, but deep down, he knew why he was really staring. He knew he had stared a second too long when Spy glanced around quickly, and a smirk quickly sprouted on his face as his eyes locked on to where Sniper was hiding.

That look, so smug, reading him instantly and wordlessly. Sniper had been caught. Spy now knew Sniper was too distracted by staring at him to take the shot. That set something off in Sniper, breaking his concentration for just a second, his line of sight being broken just for one moment as he pushed back from his scope, he found himself being caught off gaurd, an emotion that came very rarely for him, he also found himself embarrassed. He figured Spy would find a way to use this against him, even if Sniper managed to blow his head clean off, speaking of that. Sniper's attention was regained quickly as he scrambled to realign his sights only to find… nothing. Of course, what else could he really expect? That Spy would stay there for even a second longer and just let himself be killed? He could only sigh, knowing Spy would be around soon enough. He held his hand over his machete, not moving away from his spot, hoping to somehow surprised Spy when he entered the room. And as if on que, he heard a slight creak from behind him made him fully grab his machete, getting up quickly to defend himself, but Spy only stood there, lit cigarette in, looking as pretentious as ever. It was laughable that even amidst the battle, he still seemed so keen on keeping up his appearance of class and elegance. Sniper could only bring himself to stare at him. Confused.

"You seem to have a staring problem, Bushman." Spy teased, his smirk from before creeping back. "I see now your insistence on seeking me out has been more for personal reasons than a true desire for composition." Sniper seethed quietly, infuriated that Spy seemed to have so much control over the situation, that he was so smug, that he had the upper hand. Then it clicked. Sniper walked closer to Spy, neither Sniper nor Spy's confidence wavering in the slighted. Sniper reached a hand out, grabbing Spy by the collar, no doubt ruffling it,

"So what if it is for me? I highly doubt you don't like the attention." And in that momen, Spy's facade cracked, as his looked changed in a way Sniper still can't decode. But it didn't matter. In Sniper's mind, the falter was enough to signify that he had won. He could only bring himself to laugh, now having to debate on killing Spy or watching how things would play out from here. Maybe he'd do both. Maybe he'd do neither. It's a fine line between love and hate, but Sniper had the rest of the match to walk it.

———————��————————————

Gay men, GAH!! I might have taken the subtext out of homoerotic subtext, but oh well, and I may also have gone feral a couple of times while writing this, but hey, at least it's done now. The rest of the flufftober prompts will get done soon, I swear, I'm going to get all these ask answered stat! Excuse any, um, possible plot holes, and anything that might not make sense, i am very tired rn :,) Sorry again for the long waits Pro! Hope you enjoy <3

Embarrassing how many times I rewrote this 💔

#tf2 #team fortress 2 #tf2 sniper #tf2 spy #bloody suit #sniper x spy

30 notes · View notes

fruitytrollroll · 2 months

Note

your writing is so good! what's your process? mostly in regards to how you work with drafts and come up with words. are there any tips you'd give to intermediate writers? love your work!

thank you so much for your compliments!! and I'll gladly answer your questions as best I can! ✨️

one resource i can't possibly recommend enough is wordhippo! it's a clean, efficient thesaurus and dictionary website, which organizes synonyms by their individual meanings, and which also has example sentences—which is a HUGE help in figuring out how unfamiliar words get used, and what kinds of sentences they sound best in. depending on the word, some will even have a subcategory of example sentences from "Classical Literature", which does a good job emulating the experience of encountering a new word in the wild, without having to commit to reading an entire book. on the subject of reading, though, English literature from the Romantic through the Victorian eras are a big inspiration for me, and I tend to try to emulate its constructions, figurative language, tone, and sense of drama in my own writing. a Norton anthology of whatever period of literature you're most interested in will serve you well, if you like to read for your writing—they tend to include poetry, essays, and even short stories and plays, with a lot of helpful footnotes and author biographies.

as for "how I work with drafts"... I'll admit I don't quite know how to answer this, because I often just write things straight out from start to finish? I tend to have a strong idea of where I want to go with a piece already when I've started. But I usually start in Google docs, get about a thousand words out, and then share what I have with a few close friends who are anticipating the piece, and who pump me up with compliments letting me know what's working well. :) lately, most of my writing projects are actually a result of having brainstormed with them in the first place, so they tend to have robust insight into my vision, and offer helpful suggestions and commentary (or they "wishlist" things, i.e. by saying, "oh it would be kinda hot if... 👀🔥" and then I'm just like oh damn, true 💖).

When I'm writing alone, though, I just skip to whatever parts of the story I'm most excited to write, and then stitch the resulting pieces together afterward. I always try to be mindful of the fact that if I'm not having fun writing it, it probably won't be fun for my audience to read, so I tend to "zoom out" or summarize moments that I don't think will be as interesting as where I'm ultimately headed (though I try to inject a little character or wordplay or metaphor or foreshadowing or SOMETHING into even these, to treat my reader while we're waiting for the main event to start. they're helpful for setting tone or setting the stage or setting up expectations for the remainder of the piece). As the author, you can always make time pass faster or slower at your convenience, so make good use of that to maintain interest.

To leave with a few brief kernels of advice: mine your dialogue for conflict; have each line in a conversation refer back to the previous statement whenever you can; don't preemptively solve your characters' problems for them with narrative convenience, because conflict can reveal new and interesting facets of a character that would otherwise go unexamined; you can replace a lot of dialogue tags with action instead, or omit them entirely by implying with vocabulary or sequence which character at any given moment is speaking; if you've written yourself into a corner, start over a few paragraphs before you hit the hump, and see if you can take things in a different direction; give new information, revelations, and emotional beats (or "turns", as my playwriting professor called them) space to breathe.

Also, as an erotic romance author, I cannot help but roll out my frequent refrain: get either really horny or really obsessed with something, because that will motivate you to improve like very little else.

I hope that helps! Let me know if I missed anything, and thank you so much for your kind words and your interest in my process! 🥰✨️

#writing #writing advice #my writing #fic writing

9 notes · View notes

giddlygoat · 8 months

Note

How do you think LP an DW comfort each other ? Your characterizations seems super accurate so I’m curious 👍

[i wrote this with dt17 drakepad in mind but i would be more than happy to write my thoughts on the classic duo as well!]

i just need to take this opportunity to say that considering launchpad’s comfort character is darkwing duck, drake is spoiling him rotten lol. but it’s a little more nuanced than that and i have SO many thoughts about this it’s actually ridiculous.

like, drake on his own is so important to LP. he adores drake and wants nothing but to lift him up and remain by him, and while drake takes the title and the inspiration from the cartoon character, it’s obvious he’s actively forging his own personal version of darkwing. and launchpad not only knows this well but loves him all the more for it.

that being said.

drake knows how much he loves darkwing of the ‘91 cartoon. if there’s one thing they have in common, it’s a love for the goofy classic. so i think sometimes, when launchpad gets tied up in his anxiety or looks weary from exhaustion, drake does this bit where he Becomes the nineties cartoon and makes launchpad laugh.

drake lets his theatre kid run loose and turns up the ego to 11, making sure to really get in the spirit of it. launchpad can ALWAYS tell when he’s about to do it before he does, too. the tiny changes in body language and mannerisms as he gets into character before he actually opens his mouth. it NEVER fails to make launchpad laugh.

and it’s not big and elaborate, it’s just a good impersonation and some silly improv to entertain launchpad. maybe a ridiculous monologue on the coffee table or a heartfelt pep talk that tirelessly redirects to darkwing’s own amazingness to the point of incomprehensibility. though i like to think that he would revive the bit even during a serious conversation, if appropriate. anything to make LP smile.

launchpad, on the other hand, is just. SO emotionally present. like, drake is struggling with something, having a tough day, festering in his worry. and launchpad always shows up with his signature hand on shoulder, because he knows that drake likes the physical reassurance. sometimes he plays up his own goofiness or says something dumb just to catch drake off guard enough to pull him back in the moment.

most importantly, he listens. when drake needs to spill his emotions out somewhere, launchpad offers relief. he can relate to a lot of drake’s worries, too, so discussing them comes easy. he makes sure drake isn’t beating himself up, and smiles when drake relents and acknowledges that he is, and rubs his shoulder affectionately if drake starts to get worked up again. drake always burns up with shame at the thought of his self sufficient and responsible ass needing some reassurance every now and then, but launchpad shows him the strength in allowing oneself to be built up.

he learns to take launchpad’s help, and accept help more often, and launchpad always smiles in that way that makes drake’s heart swell. also, drake loves physical contact. it’s a good thing launchpad loves to give hugs!

this is so long already but i have so much freedom with this ask so i’m running with it. as an established and comfortable couple, i think their methods would remain basically the same but there’s a few things i’d like to sprinkle in.

launchpad would take drake on aimless drives while he talks in the passenger seat. something about spilling your guts with your eyes glued emotionlessly on the road just hits different man

drake’s cartoon DW bit now includes plenty of kisses! something about the way that launchpad always bubbles up laughing and grins like an idiot makes drake feel so warm and fuzzy.

if one of them is feeling particularly awful, i think long, warm hugs is a go to. sometimes there’s not much to be said and a guy just needs to be held by his supportive bf. launchpad is used to being drake’s personal pillow by this point.

when they’re both low energy, they definitely watch darkwing duck and fall asleep together. drake loves to wrap around LP’s giant arm and make it impossible for him to move LAWL

on the occasions that drake has panic attacks, launchpad keeps himself close by for when drake is ready for a hug. drake focuses on launchpad’s soft reassurances and the petting hand on his head until he calms down again.

when launchpad gets overstimulated he typically rocks and taps his feet quickly in an effort to excess nervous energy. drake offers his services in the form of combing hands through his hair, rubbing his hands or some other repetitive motion that launchpad can focus on to reorient himself and calm down. when he’s overwhelmed it often gets harder to articulate himself, and when he can’t talk drake does. he just talks about anything in a gentle voice and launchpad finds it soothing.

also, i like to think that both LP and drake love weighted blankets, and it’s not uncommon for either to ask to be laid on. drake might get a few broken bones or crushed lungs but it’s totally worth it. LP however is like the equivalent of a big smooth rock and drake is simply a sunbathing lizard. do you see my vision !!

i think i could keep writing forever but i have to stop because i need to get ready for work lawl. thank you SO much for the ask though, and anon i really need you to know that it made me squeal and kick my feet and stim for like 5 minutes straight knowing that you appreciate my characterizations this much. EEEEE!!!!

i hope this satisfies your curiosity for now! have an amazing day <3

#asks #anon #drakepad #ducktales 2017 #launchpad mcquack #drake mallard

20 notes · View notes

rin-and-jade · 9 months

Note

hi there, I've been very active in researching OSDD/DID for the last few years, and it came to be that around July of 2022 I realized how many applications and descriptions fit my experience. I/we don't experience amnesia, but do experience high degrees of trance-like dissociation and DPDR regularly. I/we identify as an OSDD system, and have distinctive parts/alters, who have their own body awareness, personalities, interacting with the world, and their own names, if exclusively identified.

The problem is that there is a huge amount of imposter syndrome, and self-invalidation, since we don't remember any significant trauma that would cause such a brain thing to happen. The only things we can remember are instances of emotional invalidation (and altercations ending in panic attacks from a young age) due to caregivers figures not realizing we're autistic, or how to help us. But that doesn't feel like it's enough. With all the searching we've done, we can't recover anything more specific as a recurring trauma. It hurts, and feels like we are invalid as a system, and that without something more significant there's no way we could have developed this way.

Is this enough, depending on how the brain dealt with distress? Should we keep searching for repressed trauma?

TLDR; Imposter syndrome due to lack of trauma rememberance, and what is remembered feels "too light".

Yikes.. imposter syndrome is already a pain in the ass to deal with. I'll try my best to explain multiple things to you and all ya got to do is digest all of these and do the tips i write below ok? (long post bare with me)

Following the order, let's start with the syndrome itself. This can make a distrust between you and the memories/severity you have known,, having the mindset of seeing 'worthiness' in a simple scale (of not bad to bad enough) won't cut it apparently. First you must understand that you're easy to miss the whole point which is acknowledging you have these unpleasant memories, and that is the only proof needed.

Secondly, self invalidation hits people right in the gut. Everytime. While you can't stop it from throwing punches, you can actually learn how to dodge. In this case where invalidation is trying to beat you up hard anytime,, it's time to implement the concept of worth and acceptance. By understanding that everyone has its own worth (and the same degree/amount) and even for you, that'll dodge an uppercut of "your struggles are nothing compared to others" which is much better than getting your jaw hit and halfway in the process of understanding the truth (because it lies all the time). Having acceptance that despite how 'small' or 'not really bad' traumatic experiences makes you dodge another jab punch,, invalidation hates this as it tries to put you down for good and you're going against it. Like boxing, it takes practice to create a counterattack and be fast in dodging so if you got hit once in a while, get up again, you're doing great,, beat that shit to pulp with consistency.

Thirdly, for repressed trauma/memories. I think of this sometimes, i, myself is also aware we still have many to uncover but that isn't always the important thing to dig for. How can one be sure that it has CDD? By knowing it has one already, in fact (the presenting symptoms and struggles around it, as well as history of when it happened). Finding traces is not easy and takes lot of time,, just as an investigation case where some deed had happened (cdd) and you're tasked to understand what process/action had led to this cause by looking for clues (repressed memories) and even if you, the detective have gained profound evidence (pieces of memories, etc). Because you weren't in the crime scene or whoever was involved in the deed,, not knowing the full chronology, series of events and reasons is perfectly alright. What im telling is that you don't need to see the full picture to determine something,, with enough clues that serves as concrete evidence, it had already been sufficient.

Lastly, i say you should not chase for memories as its counterintuitive. Like taming a cat, you can't catch it that way,, and so it works similarly with this. The more you heal on yourself and other parts, it'll uncover by itself and im sure of it. So you don't have to chase anymore because it's bound to come by itself, just like a cat.

I also made this simple graph on how your issues affect each other and its outcome in my own understanding,, by having awareness that this is creating a loop, you are bound to escape/break it easier. The writings are not dyslexic-friendly so im kinda sorry on that..

This hopefully covers up everything what you're questioning and the presented struggles as well, so, i now wish you luck and feel free to come back and tell me your progress.

- j

#did #actually did #did community #did system #did osdd #dissociative identity disorder #plural #system stuff #sysblr #janswersask

12 notes · View notes

romanarose · 2 years

Text

Sunshine, Starlight, Sweetheart, Brightside: Chapter 1

Pairing: Stever x FEM!OC, Marc X FEM!OC latter on. Jake will come around latter on but you'll see

Masterlist

Chapter 2

Content: Smut, fluff, angst, talk of self-harm, scars, depression, suicide, family issues, abuse, stalking, sexual assault (past and an attempt latter in the fic, not by the Moon Boys of course), canon typical violence. The OC has a lot of *eMoTiOnAl DaMaGe* so like it's heavy. But also, fluffy. Things will get smutty in a few chapters.

Italics is Marc's thoughts; Bold is Steven's thoughts.

Also, this is incredibly self indulgent. Like, OC is basically me. I will not be ashamed. OC is a fucking nerd for sci-fi and music, loves kids and the color red. OC's background is similar to mine. I just wanted to write this for myself and if you like it, even better.

Steven Grant was walking down the London streets after a particularly long day at work. Donna had been making him stay late to do inventory to make up for the days he lost. Still it wasn’t super late, but late enough that the cold London fall had darkened the streets. There were an abundance of people milling about; Steven supposed that made sense, considering it was a saturday night. He had never quite understood the appeal of drinking and crowds, but he thought it was nice that everyone was so lively and joyful. They say youth is wasted on the young, but Steven didn’t agree. They had a free spirit, even if it was just for a night, that Steven and Marc never had. Steven was always in his head… well… That's what his memory was anyway. Who knew how much of that was real. As for Marc, Marc was burdened with more than any child ever should. Marc never got to enjoy life after his brother died. There was lots of drinking, of course, but not the carefree fun nights that the kids here had.

Steven smiled at a giggling couple holding hands as they passed him when he heard the scream. It was off in the distance, no one else had noticed it. He summoned the suit that he still wasn’t sure why he still had, and ran down to the ally to the girl’s voice. When he arrived, it was not exactly as he had expected. What he had expected to see was a girl being attacked in an alley by a man, being hurt. What he saw… well he still wasn’t sure if she was being attacked or not, but she was fighting back, hard. In a red dress and black boots, she fought back. Steven was temporarily distracted by this, and didn’t initially step between them, but when he saw the girl take a punch, he swooped in. Suite and all, he pulled the man off of her and she fell to the ground backing against the ally. Steven beat him until he passed out, and left him behind a dumpster as he walked over to the scared girl “Miss, are you alright?” he crouched down to her, but stopped when she flinched “Oh, sorry, it’s okay, I won’t hurt you.” He stood back up, giving her space “Are you hurt?”

“Um… no, I don’t think so…” She looked up at him, still looking nervous. She was american.

“Right, well, that’s not exactly true is it? I saw you take at least one punch.” He held out his hand for her, which she took “Can I help you get somewhere? Is there a friend you’re meeting or something? You probably need ice for that hit”

She just looked at him as he helped her up “Are you Moon Knight?” She looked uncertain.

“Uh, well…” Steven considered saying yes, but he wasn’t a fan of lying. Just say yes Steven, and send her on her way. I want to get some fucking food. Marc grumbled at Steven. Steven ignored him “Not exactly. I’m Mr. Knight.”

“Are you his… sidekick or something?”

Steven could hear Marc laughing in his head “No! I mean… god, how to explain it?” Don’t explain it. Just go home please, we’re starving. Steven said his next words purely to spite Marc “There’s two of us in my head” He tapped the side of his head.

“Oh… like multiple personality disorder?”

Steven considered this “Well… the technical term is Dissociative Identity Disorder… but… yeah”

“Oh. Sorry?” She didn’t exactly look completely sorry.

“Don’t be. Can I…” Steven don’t “Can I walk you home? Or somewhere near your home, I suppose you don’t want to show a strange man where you live… Or to a friend or… a boyfriend… Or girlfriend!” Stop, this is painful to watch “Or wherever you… feel… safe” He trailed off, but she was smiling.

“Yeah, yeah you can walk me home… my name is Samantha”

Steven considered the fact his identity wasn’t exactly a secret… don’t you fucking tell her your name Tony Stark told the world who he was You are not Tony Stark, and remember what happened to Spider-man? I don’t want that happening to y- Steven had the mask disappear “I’m Steven Grant” he smiled Jesus christ…

She smiled brightly back at him, blushing a bit as she looked at his handsome face. Steven’s full suit disappeared, leaving him in his work clothes. She looked him over, and he was embarrassed at his casual dress and wished he had dressed better.

As Steven walked her home, he felt like they had known each other a long time, the conversation flowed so naturally. Samantha asked if Steven wasn’t Moon Knight, who was? Steven explained Moon Knight and Kohnshu. Samantha didn’t even seem phased, but he supposed after the last 10 years, everyone just rolls with the punches. Samantha asked to meet Marc, but Marc refused. He wasn’t a fan of what Steven was doing. Marc worried Steven would get hurt and it would disrupt their newly found balance. Samantha asked if there was anyone else living in his head.

“Uh yeah, we think so. Well, we assume.”

“What does that mean?”

“Well there’s been black outs, black outs since Marc and I have bled into each other. We will black out and wake up and there's just… bodies. Dead bodies” good job Steven, that’s how you flirt with a girl “Neither of us killed them,” Steven added quickly.

She didn’t look as concerned as she should “Just… random bodies or specific bodies?”

“Oh! Bodies of people trying to kill us. Not just the shop keeper…or pretty girls” oh bullocks, that was bad You’re damn right that was bad. Was that flirting or a threat? Why do you care? I know you don’t want this to work. It’s a bad idea. I deserve good things Marc, we both do!

Marc shut up. Steven tried to save face with Samantha “Sorry, sorry I’m nervous.”

She smiled reassuringly and was about to speak when they were walking through a crowd of rowdy men. She quickly grabbed onto his hand and wrapped her free hand around his arm as they passed. Steven heard a few comments and whistles, and Samantha held on tighter “Sorry” she muttered as she let go on his arm. He didn’t know where he got the courage, but he continued holding her hand. He was careful not to make it seem like she had to keep holding his hand, he simply kept gently holding it.

“Don’t be sorry, I can’t say I’m complaining.”

What’s your game plan here? One night stand? Fall in love, get married? Have you already named your future kids? Marc was being condescending and Steven was tuning him out.

Samantha cleared her throat “So, this third identity” Damn, I hoped she forgot about that “Neither of you have met him? Or, I guess you guys don’t probably meet, do you. Sorry, that was probably offensive” Christ, she’s as awkward as you

“No! No thats not offensive at all. Marc and I have technically met. If he wants to, he can appear in my reflection. It’s easier to talk that way, but most of the time I can just feel when he’s present in my head and vice versa.”

“Is he here right now? Marc, I mean”

“He is, and he’s being a right bugger” Steven smiled and Samantha smiled back at him.

“This is my apartment complex… Can I… would you like a drink? I got some shitty boxed wine.”

Steven stop, I’m begging you to walk away “Samantha, I would love to!” Steven was ecstatic.

Samantha seemed relieved that he said yes “Awesome!” And please, just call me Sam. And not Sammie. Just Sam.” She took Steven down the hall.

“Understood, ‘Just Sam’. I’m Steven, not Stevie, Steven with a V”

Sam unlocked her door “Right then, Just Sam and Steven with a V. Quiet the team. Can I make you anything? I’ve got some pizza I can heat up.”

Please, if you are making me suffer through this at least feed me, I’m starving “Oh, no thank you. I’m actually vegan.”

“Oh gosh, um… would you like some chips? I think that’s about it for vegan options here, I’m so sorry” She looked mortified.

“Please, don’t worry about it, I’m not even hungry” Steven… Fine “Chips would be great, love.”

She smiled and went to the kitchen and put chips on a plate. Before she even took out glasses, Steven saw her reading the label of the wine, she turned the box around checking all the sides. What is she doing?

“Wine is clear!” she called

What does that mean? She checked the label to make sure it was vegan…

When Samantha brought everything over, Steven noticed the cups the wine was in “Sorry Steven, I don’t have any glasses so we gotta drink from mugs”

Steven found it endearing enough, but was elated to see “”Doctor Who” on the mugs “Are you a Doctor Who fan?” Steven asked excitedly.

Samantha beamed at him “Oh boy, am I?” she left up her pant leg to show a TARDIS tattoo “Big fan, like, life consuming.”

It was like they were old friends. They talked of their favorite episodes, how they felt about the Davis era vs. Moffat era vs. Chinball and spoke about David Tennant’s newest projects they were excited for. It wasn’t until Sam stifled a yawn that Steven looked at the time “Oh bullocks, it midnight, I’m so sorry to keep you so long, I must've overstayed my welcome.”

“No, not at all! My first class isn’t even until 9, plenty of time to sleep”

“Nine? You should’ve sent me away hours ago!”

“No, I was having too much fun! Everyone here likes Doctor Who, but I never meet people who are as into it as me!”

“Yeah, bit odd for an American, innit?”

“Oh I was raised in Hertfordshire, actually. My family moved out here when I was in middle school, well, secondary school for you. My dad was a lawyer and he got a job teaching at the University. I think my parents just wanted a change. I moved to London for school.”

Steven was suddenly aware she said she had class “What are you in school for?”

“Early childhood education! I work in a nursery school right now, before and after class. I just love kids”

“I bet they love you too” Steven complimented with almost nothing to base this off of, she just seemed so warm.

Sam giggled “Thanks, they are the light of my life, honestly. Every day they make me glad I changed my career”

“Oh, did you just return to school?”

“Yeah, I was in school for pre-law, following my dad's footsteps, trying to get his approval. Well I realized it wasn’t coming no matter what I did, so I just decided to go for what I wanted. Unfortunately, my parents were paying for my school and they would only pay for things they think are worthwhile. That’s fair of course, but I couldn’t afford to go to school without their money so I took some time off and worked my ass off to save up. Which is why I’m 25 and still trying to get through school. And now I’m almost done. Spring term is my last!” She smiled proudly.

“That’s great! I’m always impressed with anyone who could finish school. I always thought I’d do research or teach Egyptology or something, but school wasn’t going to happen with my brain. Thought it was a sleep disorder at the time. Hold on love, you said you go to work before school? Jesus, what time do you have to work?”

Sam looked like she had been caught “Uh, at 5:30…”

Steven stood up right “Oh my god, look at me! Prattling on like an idiot while you’re trying to sleep! I’ll get out of your hair, please excuse me” Steven grabbed his coat and began to head out, not wanting to keep her up any longer.

Seeing him out, she hoped to god he would kiss her. She wanted so badly for him to kiss her, for her to wrap her hands in his dark curls…

“Have a good night, Steven with a V, I had a lot of fun. Thank you for saving me…”

“Don’t give it another thought, just Sam. I’m glad you are safe.”

Sam scribbled something on a paper “Call me or text me sometime if you ever want to hang out again. I promise I don’t usually fight people in alleys…” she teased.

Steven took the number “Thank you, I will” He wanted to kiss her, but after her ordeal earlier that evening, it seemed inappropriate “Goodbye”

“Goodbye”

When Sam closed the door, she fell with the back to it, swooning like a girl in a silent film. She couldn’t believe the day she had. Her friends had always warned her not to yell back at men who cat called her, but something always took over. The rage she felt when she got catcalled tonight through her into a spiral and she screamed that man who walked past her. This escalated and the fight broke out. Then, low and behold, the most handsome man she had ever seen in her life comes to her rescue. And he loves Doctor Who? Her siblings told her she’d never find a man as hot as David Tennant who was a Whovian that was actually interested in her, and yet it seemed this mysterious man was everything. He was kind, brave, funny, handsome and nerdy. They had struck up a friendship, but alas he hadn’t kissed her. Maybe he wasn’t interested, maybe the whole evening was him being kind. Had she strong-armed him into staying so late? She heard a knock at the door, perhaps he forgot something. It was Steven, but he looked… off. He stood taller it seemed, his face was calm and confident.

“Steven? You forgot something?”

“Not Steven” An american accent. He smiled a sly smile. It would almost be creepy coming from a face other than the man she already trusted.

It dawned on her “Marc.”

“Pleased to meet you” He didn’t seem too pleased. “Here’s the deal.”

Sam braced herself “Yes?”

“Steven is fragile in a lot of ways. He’s had a tough time lately and my job is to make sure he doesn’t get hurt”

Sam was curious, but not hindered. “Is this where you tell me to leave him alone, or if I hurt him, you’ll kill me?”

Marc smiled a little more broadly “No. I saw you reading the box.”

“What?”

“The boxed wine. And the chip bag. You were making sure they were vegan, weren’t you? For him?”

“Yeah…”

“That was very kind of you. Steven needs more kindness in his life. I can’t give him much of that… I’ll make sure he calls you, he’s a bit shy sometimes. I need you to do something though.”

“What’s that?”

His face softened “You’ll need to kiss him. He’ll never make the first move. He’s too polite. He’s afraid of accidentally kissing a girl who doesn’t want to be kissed. You have to make the move.”

Sam smiled “You’re a good friend to him, Marc. You from Chicago?”

“Yeah, I didn’t think my accent was that bad though.”

“I’m from Zion. I can always pick out Chicagoland people. I’ll see you later Marc, thank you.”

“Be kind to him” Marc pleaded finally “Whatever happens, just be gentle.”

“I will,” Sam promised.

“Goodnight”

Sam watched him leave. She could’ve sworn she saw the exact moment he turned back to Steven.

*********************

Chapter 2

THANK YOU FOR READING!!!!

Reblogs really really help share my work, but comments mean the world to me <3

#moon knight #steven grant #marc spector #marc spector smut #moon night smut #moon night fanfiction #steven grant smut #jake lockley #marc spector moon knight #marc spector fanfic #this will be sinful

96 notes · View notes