#it took me up until this rewatch to realize why every time i try to rewatch the show in linear order i can never seem to watch past E02

[angorwhosebabyisthis]

[cws: non-detailed discussion of both fictional and irl SA/CSA/abuse dynamics, apologia for the previous, homophobia, fetishization of wlw, and anti rhetoric.]

-

having a lot of thoughts about the wider fandom's treatment of the various abuse dynamics present in sdmi--supposedly in the name of being anti-abuse--and how instead it's propagated deeply anti-survivor/abuse apologist sentiment and behavior through where they choose to apply that rhetoric, and where they choose to look the other way.

(first off, if you're someone who does not and has not done this, thank you from the bottom of my heart. second, this is not at all exhaustive of my feelings on the subject and there will probably be more posts about these dynamics and people's behavior toward them in future. as you can imagine by the length of this post that is saying something lmao)

one of the reasons i feel as strongly as i do about the way both canon and fandom have historically been about pericles, pericky, and shitting on anyone who likes them because it Normalizes Abuse(tm), is that their fans are pretty open and emphatic about the fact that it's Fucked Up. it's why we find it compelling. it is vanishingly rare that we don't.

meanwhile, velma is the UwU Cute Sassy Lesbian Icon whose relationship with shaggy was Cringy and Immature (and mutually so 🙃) at worst, when it directly mirrored such visceral aspects of my experience with CSA that i almost threw up rewatching the second episode.

and that's not even getting into how normalized it is for women to abuse men in a relationship, in broad fucking daylight in front of other people, and how men are supposed to Always Want It and it's an insult if they don't, and how the vast majority of CSA--which it overtly is in shaggy's case, he is implied not to be an adult yet--is perpetrated by other kids.

and it's also not getting into the fact that the ~cute lesbian relationship~ is almost certainly going to end up with the other queer girl in the show also being abused, because abusers are not Magically Cured by True Queer Love's Kiss. how it is incredibly difficult for survivors of abuse in a wlw relationship to be acknowledged or get support because then they'd be a Traitor, or people would rather maintain the feel-good fuzzy feelings wlw exist to give them, or they're closeted and it's not safe to let people know they're in a relationship with a woman. how queer relationships, especially between women, are fetishized as cute pure healthy fairytale romances and not dynamics involving real people who might harm each other or be harmed and need help.

and that's not even getting into the fact that mlm are seen as inherently predatory to an extent that the majority of other queer identities are not. how older queer men grooming boys is a classic homophobic stereotype used to justify violence toward them, up to and including lynchings, and how that is the abuse dynamic everyone in the show and fandom latched onto to revile as the Disgusting Evil Predatory One while giving everything else a pass. how mlm have a long history of forced institutionalization and psychiatric torture and abuse, and the Predatory Gay Man is subjected to decades of--you guessed it!--forced institutionalization and psychiatric torture and abuse, which is framed as what he deserved and where he belonged. how he's supposed to be unattractive (and the majority of the people who do this shit lean hard on that), while people are way more likely to give Charming Attractive Aesthetically Pleasing abusers a pass.

this is just..... normal, to the fandom. it's treated as completely normal. and i think that's a whole lot more fucking harmful than finding emotional catharsis in exploring an abusive dynamic that would not fly in broad daylight irl in a million years.

#sdmi #scooby doo: mystery incorporated #professor pericles #velma dinkley #shaggy rogers #SDMItag #cws in post #like. everything about shaggy and velma's dynamic in and related to the first half of S1 is *gutwrenching* #it took me up until this rewatch to realize why every time i try to rewatch the show in linear order i can never seem to watch past E02 #and end up just skipping around #and time and personal experience have *really* made the 'fairytale queer romance that is a missing stair right into a bottomless pit' #thing hit harder #whereas exploring pericky when i was younger *made me realize things about their relationship were abuse that i hadn't understood before* #'okay so if i go back and fix *this* part that'll make it not abusive anymore and they can be happ--oh. oh geez. this goes deep doesn't it' #and the people who don't like pericky will do the opposite and *actively claim the abuse dynamics that are there do not exist* #because Then It Would Be Shipping and That's Just Gross UwU #because 'this can't have been [X kind of abuse] because [X abuse] is Gross and its potential existence near me makes me uncomfortable' #'you're the one who's gross for seeing it and pointing it out; ew how dare you ruin people's day by making them think about that' #'thank goodness it didn't happen and we can all move on with our lives (and you won't like what happens if you dare bring it up again)' #isn't. you know. famously a thing that happens all the time to gaslight and silence survivors irl and take our words away from us lol #anyway as you can maybe imagine i am bitter about this lmao #but also i just generally think it's worth talking about; especially if even one person understands their own experiences better for it #the crit files #the salt files #SDMIcrit tag #pericky #dyn: when i die i want you to die too

[wlntrsldler]

Hiiiiii!!!! I love Apple Pie by Lizzy McAlpine!! Can I get Jamie Tartt to apple pie?

apple pie | jamie tartt

based on the song apple pie by lizzy mcalpine

description: jamie gets insecure sometimes, but having you with him helps.

pairing: jamie tartt x actress!reader (f!reader she/her)

warnings: lots of kissing, self-doubt, insecurities, mention of jamie's dad

word count: 2631

ted lasso requests are open | main masterlist

When Jamie first got into a relationship with you, he knew that both of your busy schedules would pose a problem down the road. With his football career seemingly reaching new peaks every season and your acting career taking off after being cast in what is being called “the film that revived the dying genre of romantic comedies,” the amount of time you get to spend with each other decreased significantly since the start of your relationship. 

You first met Jamie halfway through his returning season at AFC Richmond. You met him at a birthday dinner party for a friend of a friend where you relentlessly teased him for his ridiculous, but outstanding performance, on Lust Conquers All. You had originally praised him for it when you were fully under the impression that he was putting on an act. You didn’t find out that he was just being his prick-ish self, albeit his younger prick-ish self, until about four months into your relationship when he embarrassedly admitted it to you. That’s how you found yourself rewatching the entire season together on his couch until 2 hours before Roy knocked on his door for his training session. 

At first, Jamie thought you were making fun of him. His insecurities would still peek in here and there and sometimes he couldn’t help but worry that you’d see him as nothing more than a dumb footballer like everyone else does. He quickly realized, though, that while you were losing your mind laughing at how he acted in the show, making fun of him was the last thing you wanted to do. 

“Why’d ya wanna watch this shit anyways?” he grumbled, trying not to let his emotions get the better of him. “It’s just poopy. ‘M not even like that anymore.” 

“I know,” you sat up, pausing the show when you heard his voice crack. You knew the tone of Jamie’s voice when he was cracking jokes and when he was happy, and this voice wasn’t one or the other. You turned your body to face him, “I know you aren’t like this anymore, I just thought it would be funny.” 

“I dunno, I suppose it doesn’t make much sense to me.” 

“What doesn’t?” you questioned. “Why I want to watch it?” 

“Yeah,” Jamie replied. His eyes were looking at everything but at you. He was playing with the threads of the blanket loosely draped over his legs. He rubbed his nose with his balled-up fist. “Why does it matter how I was before you? I’m better now, yeah? Unless you don’t think so...” 

“Oh, love,” you grabbed his face, forcing him to look at you. You were so engrossed in the episode on the TV that you didn’t realize how uncomfortable Jamie was feeling about the whole situation. “I’m sorry, I should’ve been paying more attention to how you were feeling about this. We can stop watching it.” 

“Yeah, I’d like that.” He hummed, tugging on your hoodie to pull you closer to him. “I just don’t want you to see how I used to be and realize you don’t want to be with a prick like that, even if I have changed, you know? I don’t know… I just thought that with ya, I’d have a fresh start.” 

“Jamie Tartt, enough of that now,” You took over being the big spoon, which made Jamie nuzzle into your neck contently, “You have changed. You’re an amazing man and the best boyfriend I’ve ever had. I only wanted to watch this show because it’s such a shitty show that it’s nice to just unwind. When I watch this Jamie on the screen, my brain can’t even comprehend that it’s you.” 

“You don’t think I’m a prick anymore, yeah?” Jamie asked again, hoping that he’d get a confirmation, “Like you wouldn’t leave me over that?”

You’ve learned over the past few months things about Jamie– one of which is that he needs to be told positive things or else he’d spiral. The thing is, if you could go into his mind and turn off that control box that spews self-doubt and insecurities to him, you would do it in a heartbeat. But since you can’t, you were more than happy to shower him with love and adoration in hopes that your voice can drown the rest of them out. 

“Never,” you placed your lips on his in a soft kiss. “You’d have to work a hell of a lot harder to get rid of me.” 

“I’m working double overtime just so you’d keep me, love,” he murmured, pulling you in for another kiss. His hand reached for the remote to turn the TV off to leave you both in the glow of the floor lamp in his living room. 

“You don’t have to work hard for that.” 

Jamie had gotten used to having you around his flat. He would leave for 4 AM training with Roy with you on his bed, often naked, then return at around 6:30 AM to shower and join you back in bed for another hour before you woke up. He’d wake up for the second time that day with you drawing patterns on his chest and a soft smile on your face. He’d lean over and place a loving kiss on your lips and he’d feel prepared to start the day. 

You were filming a show in London for three months, which meant that for three months, this was Jamie’s life. In between projects, you stayed at his place. For two weeks after the wrap party, you came home to him, visited him at the facility, and went to all the team outings, home games, and away games with him. He was with you 24/7 and he wouldn’t have it any other way. He didn’t realize how he took it for granted until filming ended.

Three weeks ago, you flew to New York City to begin filming another movie. With training and games, Jamie hasn’t been able to take time off to visit you, and with filming just starting, you couldn’t fly back to Richmond either. 

Jamie was doing fine– as fine as someone can be when their daily routine was abruptly disrupted. He was proud of you. The premise of the movie seemed perfect for you and was a seamless continuation of the romantic comedy trend you were on. People were buzzing for your next project, especially after your last one was so well received. He was so proud of you…. But he also missed you. 

During the three weeks that you were gone, you and Jamie still texted each other constantly and FaceTimed everyday, despite the crazy time difference. He wanted to make it work, and so did you, so you did what you could to stay in touch. While not being able to hold you and kiss you for three weeks was killing Jamie, he was glad he was still able to spend time with you. Things didn’t get to Jamie until Jan Maas made an off-handed comment about it.

All of them were packing up after training, feeling extremely antsy with the Man City match on the horizon, Jamie especially. There were a lot of things on his mind, including the possibility of seeing his father, who he hadn’t seen since Wembley, and playing against his old team was always a trip. In short, he wasn’t feeling his best and the fact that you weren’t nearby made it worse. 

“Jamie, we have not seen Y/N in a while,” Sam noted, “Is everything okay with you two?” 

“She’s filming a movie in New York, bruv,” Isaac replied before Jamie could speak, “Right, Tartt?” 

Jamie nodded, putting his shirt over his head, “Yeah. She’ll be gone for a few months, at least.” 

“I do not know how you’re gonna survive, Jamie,” Jan Maas said. “You are so clingy when it comes to her. I don’t think you can make it all those months.” 

The rest of the team chuckled at Jan’s teasing tone, but Jamie furrowed his eyebrows in thought. Was he clingy? He frowned as he continued to put his things away. He picked up his phone from his cubby, smiling when he received a few messages from you while he was at training. As he was about to respond, Jan’s comment made him stop in his tracks. 

Maybe it would be best to let you have a night to yourself. You had a life outside of him and you deserve to be able to live it without having him cling to you all the time. He rubbed his eyes tiredly, slipping his phone in his back pocket, before walking out of the locker room to head to his place. 

When you woke up to no text from Jamie, you assumed that he was just worn out from training and didn’t have the energy to reply. You’ve seen the intense training he went through, so you wouldn’t be surprised if that was the case. But as the day went on and there was still no word from Jamie– you’d even checked the timezone clock on your phone to make sure you weren’t being unreasonable– you began to worry. FaceTime calls went unanswered and instead, you were met with the Apple automated response, “Sorry, can’t talk right now.” 

To: lover boy <3

“Hi, love. Got some exciting news, you free to chat? Xx” 

By the time you were boarding the plane to Manchester, Jamie still hadn’t texted you back. After begging the producers to give you a week off filming, they finally agreed. You asked for this week in particular, knowing that you wanted to be there for Jamie for the Man City match. There was a lot on the line for Jamie and you wanted to be there for him no matter what happened. 

The entire plane ride back to England was filled with dread and anxiety. It wasn’t like Jamie to not respond. Unless he was at a game, training, or sleeping, but even then he had a special ringtone for you that wakes him up whenever you called, he always replied to your messages as soon as possible. When you landed, everything that could go wrong went wrong. Your plane was stuck on the tarmac for an hour because there were problems with the gate. Your luggage got delayed which left you sitting at baggage claim for another 45 minutes. When you finally arrived at the hotel the team was staying at– shoutout to Ted for being yours and Jamie’s number one supporter and telling you where they were staying– Jamie was nowhere to be found. 

You dragged your luggage to Jamie’s room, plopping on the bed tiredly. You glanced at the digital clock on the nightstand. 9:28 PM. Ted mentioned that there was a 10 PM curfew so you hoped that tonight was not one of the nights where Jamie decided to break the rules. Ted also mentioned that Jamie has not been himself lately, which did nothing to soothe your panic. You hopped in the shower to rinse yourself from the long day you’ve had. You did your night routine and dug into Jamie’s bag to retrieve his AFC Richmond hoodie. Before putting it on, you held it up to your nose, sighing as your senses were filled with Jamie. You missed him. 

It was 9:57 PM when you heard the door unlock. You were on his bed, scrolling aimlessly on social media, when you saw him. You sat up, shutting your phone off. He walked in with his head low. His shoulders were hunched over a bit, but he looked okay. He looked better than how Ted described him. 

He kicked off his shoes, before looking at you on his bed, startled. His eyes widened, first in fear that there was someone in his room, then in surprise that it was you in his room. His lips curved down in a frown, eyebrows furrowed in sadness. 

“Baby,” you whispered, moving to the side of the bed to make room for him. 

Jamie knew that he needed to not be clingy. He didn’t want to bother you too much. He was trying to be cool. But when you called him “baby,” with that voice, in his hoodie on his bed, his resolve crumbled to pieces.

He ran to you, nearly tackling you off the bed when he engulfed you in his arms. He buried his face in your neck, a mix of your lotion and the cologne he sprays on his clothes surrounding him. You cradled the back of his head, mumbling how much you missed him into his shoulder. Jamie could cry. He hasn’t seen you in so long, but here you are now. 

“What are you doing here?” He asked when he finally pulled away from you. He couldn’t stray too far though. His arm was still wrapped around you while you cuddled into his side. “I thought you were in New York.” 

“Well, if you bothered to answer my texts,” you trailed off, faking a voice of sadness. You poked his side, “You would’ve seen that I had exciting news. The producers gave me a week off after begging them since I first got to New York and this week is perfect because I know tomorrow’s match is gonna be a lot for you. I wanted to be here for you, whatever the outcome is.” 

“Oh.” Jamie was speechless. Here he was ignoring you like a prick while you were planning to come back just to be here for him. He didn’t deserve you. 

“Yeah,” you continued, “If tomorrow we celebrate, I’ll be here making sure that you drink enough water so that your hangover the next day won’t be too much. If tomorrow we try to never think about it again, I’ll sit next to you on the bus in silence holding your hand and when we get home we can do the same thing.” 

Home. You were here and he felt like he was home. 

“I missed you so much,” Jamie sighed. He kissed you all over your face, giving your lips extra attention. “‘M sorry if I was bothering you by texting and calling so much over the last few weeks… I just missed you loads and I wanted to talk to you.” 

“Baby, you didn’t text and call me enough,” you played with his hair, running your fingers through the strands. “If it was possible, I would stay on a call with you all day, everyday. Can’t get enough of ya.” 

He smiled, his worries disappearing with every word you said, “Yeah?”

“Oh yeah, I love you, Jamie Tartt.” You kissed him deeply. “Couldn’t get tired of you even after a million years. Now, catch me up! Tell me everything.” 

Jamie, feeling like himself again, began to tell you everything you missed over the last few weeks– meeting Sam’s father, meeting Ted’s mum, Roy and Keeley, and seeing his mum earlier that night, which is why he came home late. He talked about how a visit to Georgie and Simon helped lift his spirits, and how Georgie was gushing about you and asking him when you’ll come to visit again. 

Then he talked about his fears for tomorrow and everything that’s been piling up on him ever since you left. As he spoke, you rubbed his back comfortingly, a small reminder that you’ll always be here no matter what. 

Jamie knew that he still had a lot of work to do. He knew that his insecurities could get the best of him sometimes and it can cause him to push back on people who love and care about him, but he was trying. You believed in him and that’s all he needed.

#ted lasso fics #ted lasso #ted lasso imagines #ted lasso imagine #jamie tartt #jamie tartt x y/n #jamie tartt fanfic #jamie tartt imagine #jamie tartt x reader #jamie tartt x yn #jamie tartt oneshot #frances writes #frances song fics

[piglet26]

Top Five Reylo Scenes

Before I start I do want to add why Reylo means so much to me. Recently I went through a really deep depression and part of what pulled me out of it was Reylo. I was able to write essays and do analysis about this OTP. Rewatching the films and focusing on theirs scenes helped get my mind off of some pretty deep stuff. I was also able to receive love and connection through the Reylo community. It's meant a lot to me! Also, I know that Tumblr is very supportive to anyone going through a tough time and directing people to self help lines. If you are going through a time that is really dark or challenging I Love You in Reylo.

Now my top three scenes is tough cause I love them all, but if I had to focus on an order to the game I'd say........

5 " You Need a Teacher"

“There’s a history in Star Wars of the attraction between the light and dark…”

Truth be told I'm surprised this scenes ranked as high as it did with me because I do not like that she beat him. The more I thought about it I realized why I did want to rank it. There is something raw and dirty about them here. The look of sheer amazement he gives her after that lightsaber flew to her was everything. The force theme beginning to play. Then when she lit the lightsaber and he was like "oh, you wanna duel? ok, let's duel then." The moment they found the force together with their faces beautifully lit up. It really is great.

There is nothing violent really about their fight, like I don't fear for their lives. Resembling the scene where Kylo Ren said could “take whatever he wants” and “Don’t be afraid, I feel it too” while looking at her lips. The chemistry took me by complete surprise and I shifted in my seat uncertainly watching this the first time. Surely I shouldn’t like a murderer and a villain with Rey, but I couldn’t help it. This very chemistry, though probably amounting to less than ten minutes of actual interaction between each other, leaves the audience with a hungry desire for more.

Reylo and Anidala could be mirrors of each other with Anakin falling to the Dark Side because of his selfish love for Padme and Kylo coming back to the Light because of his selfless love for Rey.

When Kylo is with Rey, he is calmer, and calculating. For Kylo, the seduction is to the Light. However, when Rey first searches out the Force with her feelings, she immediately ends up in the Dark Side, and is unafraid to take what she wants from it. In battle, she is furious, screaming and bent on destruction. As I mentioned above, Anidala and Reylo could be the Force’s attempts at balancing itself. Where Anidala was destined to fail, Reylo is destined to prevail and finally balance the Force.

4 "You'll turn........I'll help you"

“The Abduction,” the song in TFA when the “bridal carry” happens, has a very similar ascending line of notes to a recurring theme in Tchaikovsky’s Romeo and Juliet overture.

I love everything about this. The infamous elevator scene. Reylo once again dominates the screen in The Last Jedi, easily rendering Finn’s growing romance with Rose bland and tedious in comparison. Rian Johnson is a Reylo stan so I stan him. This is the first time Rey and Kylo are physically side by side since she tried to kill him in the forest on Star killer Base. It's the most sexually charged body language! They spiffed up for one another. She’s changed her clothes, put on makeup and decided to leave her hair down. His hair is freshly washed with a spritz.

“Ben” She’s using his real name now and like in every scene with her now he's calm. He hates his name, but when she says it he hears her. She's appealing to his true nature, or, what she believes it to be. It's possessive as well. He is HER Ben. The way he tried not to have a reaction to her until she said his name. He's trying to stay blank and not give away what he intends to do, but none the less has a reaction to her.

Rian Johnson basically confirmed that Kylo / Ben wanted to kiss Rey in the elevator scene. It’s canon so I am prepared to fight. Not to mention, Johnson tells us that Adam Driver, as Kylo / Ben, seriously considered kissing Rey in this scene. He is, indeed, staring at her lips in the elevator with the most intense eye contact.

Reylo speaks to me, and many others, on a spiritual level. Like many stories of both maiden and monster, Reylo shows us what it means to be a heroine. A heroine reaches her hand out to monsters and says: you deserve love and compassion, no matter the mistakes you’ve made. We're in a movement where women are tired of "fixing" men and I'm here for it. I honestly think that's why so many woman found it difficult that Reylo is not soft and sweet.

3 ........Ben?"

Adam Driver says Kylo Ren can’t help but harbor admiration for Daisy Ridley’s Rey in the Last Jedi. “I think there’s something familiar there, as well as something to be feared, or something… that he (Kylo) can’t quite place.”

Let me go ahead and say that I'm going to cheat.... I'm including the novelization in this because that mixed with novel is what gives me life. TROS brought such mixed Reylo emotions. We got great stuff! In small doses *eye roll* In the novel. She was glad to see him. Glad to be with him in this moment. It was the greatest gift she could have given him. His heart was full as Rey reached for his face, let her fingers linger against his cheek. And then, wonder of wonders, she leaned forward and kissed him.

The way Rey sits in wonder...... never mind she was borderline dead..... Ben is there, really there and she's just staring in wonder. Ben is looking at her in painful awe and relief. They are both almost child-like in their affection. The way Rey hesitates, after years alone, it takes her a moment to work up the courage for her first kiss. Ben just lets her take her time. The way he waits patiently for her to work up the courage and then the moment the kiss, he pulls her to him like she is the air he breathes for his first kiss. Oh! The smiles. Seriously?! Ben and Rey are happy! There was fireworks, champagne and pussy power! Rey’s hand. Ben gave his very life essence to Rey because his love is that absolute.

And let’s not forget the novelization of TLJ had this quote “They will never have to be alone again”.

Now this is where things get messy as hell. Adam was on the set of Tatooine..... but as they cut that ending. Daisy stated regarding the ending “the crew was shaken in a way I had not seen before. and I thought, ‘my god if this is people’s immediate reaction when the scene isn’t even ready, imagine what it will be like to see it in the movies, with the John Williams soundtrack and all that." When Ben faded into the force...... no one felt anything for a moment then there was just confusion and disappointment. You cannot nor will you ever have me believing that this janky ending was the real deal.

2 "Join Me.......... Please"

“He (Kylo) sensed his and Rey’s destinies were intertwined, but how?......"

The Throne Room Proposal! Kylo premeditated in the purest Sith way regarding the murdering of his Master for his bae. Then he gives Rey a furious speech on killing the past in a bid to win her over and fulfill his dark Queen fantasy. “You come from nothing, you’re nothing—but not to me,” Kylo tells Rey, in one of the most beautifully twisted declarations of love ever uttered in a family blockbuster, before quietly pleading with her to join him like he’s the most desperately lonely person in the universe. The duo’s visions of their future together—Rey sees Kylo turning to the Light, and Kylo witnesses Rey joining him in the Dark. However, upon Snoke’s death, the bond still stands. Kylo offers Rey a place at his side and his hand in marriage, but it is the proposal of an awkward boy, grasping desperately at a relationship he has only begun to understand.

And you can see it in her face, that she’s torn, there is a part of her that wants to take his hand, not to rule the galaxy, that’s not her ambition, but to simply stay with someone who truly understands her as well. But it’s the ‘please’ Adam Driver showed that Julliard education with that one word. Both actors just brough it. You can see how far they've come and yet still so far away from each other.

1 "You're Not Alone.......Neither are You"

“When Rey feels rejected by Luke Skywalker, who also sees parallels between the power in her and the abilities of his estranged nephew, the old Jedi master inadvertently pushes the two towards each other.”

You knew it was coming. In TLJ, Kylo is at his most sympathetic and tempting; Rey at her most understanding. Both are outcasts because of their power, they are both lonely, whispering to each other comfortingly “you’re not alone” and “neither are you.” Kylo sees more in Rey than she does within herself. He also challenges her as an equal. Ben ultimately encourages her to not only expand her mind, but in embrace her womanhood. It is no wonder that Rey goes to him. After experiencing Luke and his failings as a master and failing to find the answer's she's been looking for....... Rey ends up relating to Kylo. Kylo, for once, has put the whole of misery and life lessons into something productive.

When we find them alone in a dark hut, slowly lean towards each other, and very hesitantly touch hands in a scene fraught with romantic tension. Notably, the Force music plays during the scene, signaling their relationship’s importance. A tear crawls down Rey’s face as the two connect and understand each other on a level so deep that it is reminiscent of sex, and causes Luke Skywalker to pull the ultimate Dad move and blow up the hut.

As Rey and Kylo develop their bond we see the force attempting to balance itself. Yin and Yang....... the imagery littered throughout the sequel trilogy is drawn heavily from those belief systems. We see continuous parallel shots with Rey and Ben to represent this duality. Both are presented in contrasting surroundings that represent the duality of the masculine and the feminine. In many shots half of their figure is bathed in light and the other half is bathed in the darkness.

This connection is as spiritual as it is romantic. As Jason Fry explained, romance is merely the analog we have in the living force for this deep spiritual bond.

#reylo #star wars #rey star wars #ben solo #ben solo deserved better #rey skywalker #kylo x rey #kylo ren #ben solo x rey #my otp #otp #star wars reylo #reylo au #reylo prompt #reylo art #disney star wars

[delicatebarness]

bring him home | chapter two

Summary: Reader needs to find her new purpose now that everyone is gone.

Warning: MCU Spoilers. Avengers: Endgame + Captain America: Civil War. Violence. Grief. Mentions of Depression. Swearing.

Word Count: 1307

Masterlist | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

A/N: I just finished rewatching The Falcon and The Winter Soldier and it has got me wanting to make a sequel series to this one.

Tags: @crazyforbarnes | @whiminiferous | @armystay89 | @bucky-just-needs-love

I DO NOT CONSENT TO HAVE MY WORK POSTED, TRANSLATED OR PUBLISHED TO ANY THIRD PARTY SITE OR APP. IF ANYONE SEES MY WORK ANYWHERE BUT HERE, IT HAS BEEN REPOSTED WITHOUT MY PERMISSION.

6 Months.

It had been the longest time since knowing your family and friends that you had gone without seeing them. Since Vision was ‘born’ you hadn't gone without getting to see him for no longer than 3 days at a time. Peter, maybe 5 days. Wanda, you saw her every day until she went on the run. Even then, it was still once a month. Steve, Natasha, and Sam. Every 6 weeks you got to catch up with them. And, Bucky. Every other weekend you were spending time in Wakanda.

Wakanda. You haven’t forgotten about your friends there too. T’Challa and Shuri were welcoming, generous, and understanding. They did everything they could to help Bucky and they did, they helped him. Freed him. They allowed him their resources, time, and trust. Keeping your secrets hidden and helping with excuses to visit. You could never repay them. The country now stood without their heirs and their protector. You knew you had to go back and repay your debt by aiding however the people would let you. But, for now, your people needed you too.

~

You spent hours going over everyone who was reported missing, in the last 6 months, with Natasha and Steve. Making notes, who they are, age, where they’re from, and when the last time they were seen. None of you knew what you could do other than make a note and hope they came back soon and didn’t disappear.

“He meant half didn’t he,” you mumbled as you paused your counting. “stupid, purple, PRICK!” Steve and Natasha turned to look at you, it was infrequent that they heard you say anything negative about anyone. Fair enough, you could have said worst and they wouldn’t have blamed you if you did but it took them by surprise.

“You okay, kid?” Nat asked from the other side of the room. You hummed in response as you wiped a stray tear off your cheek. They both picked up on this.

“He loved you, you know,” You looked up at Steve sitting at the desk. “I spent years watching him with girls growing up and he never looked at them the way he did you.” He smiled down at you, you let yourself send him a small smile. You knew this already, Bucky’s love ran deep and he had shown this many times, it was just nice to hear it after so long.

Airport.

“I’m not going to hurt you.” Retreating your helmet and lowering your repulsors, you give a small smile to Bucky. He looks into your eyes, realizing who you are and what he has done to you.

“Why?” He asked while subconsciously bringing a hand up to rub his neck. “I hurt you.” You shook your head and tried to get closer to him, yet with every step you took forward, he took back.

“Please,” your eyes pleaded with his, you just wanted to help him. You believed Steve, his friend was framed. You barely took a side, it was chosen for you. In all their minds, you’re still a kid. So, when it came to the politics of this job, they made the decisions for you. This time, you didn’t feel like the right one was made. “I know you’re already in pain and I -“

“Don’t know what you’re talking about.” Bucky spat at you, you watched as his face contoured into anger then instant regret. You could see he didn’t want to speak to you in that tone, he just didn’t know how to respond calmly. You were a threat to him. Trying to arrest him for something he did not do. All he knew was, you fought against his side.

“I’ve heard the stories,” you started, he let his head fall, ‘Here we go’ he thought. “You seem like a great friend, loyal, protective.” Lifting his head again to look deep into your eyes now, he tried to find some sort of malice in them. Nothing. “I don’t believe you’re what they say you are.” A smile. Bucky smiled! You smiled back at him, letting out a small giggle. “You fought for us, this country, thank you for that.” You both stood there, staring at each other, blushing.

“Y/N, please,” Steve yelled out as he was approaching you both, looking between you and Bucky, he panted. “You’ve got to under-“

“Go, do what you need to do,” your eyes never left Bucky’s. “I’ll try to,” Pausing to think of how to distract ‘your side’ “I’ll do something.” You smiled, and Bucky nodded. Steve carried on looking between you both, confused. He patted Bucky’s shoulder and gestured towards the Jet.

“Thank you.” Bucky mouthed as Steve pushed him away, Steve turned back and gave you his approval nod which still after 7 years, made you feel accomplished. The symbol of righteousness approved of your choice. You smiled at the two of them, putting your helmet back up over your face and blasting off towards the fights.

Support Group.

You spent a lot of time researching the stages of grief. You thought you had skipped the first two stages and went straight to ‘Bargaining’. There was no ‘Denial’ in what happened. The silence in your life reminded you every second that they were gone. That, and the fact everyone disappearing like that replays in your mind every day. You couldn’t avoid it if you tried. ‘Anger’ was the second stage, which you believe you skipped again. The only thing about everything you ever got angry about was the way they left, they just disappeared. Why? Why couldn’t you have been given time after losing to Thanos to say goodbye to them?

‘Bargaining’ you firmly believed this was where you were at. Trying to find meaning, and help others. That was your stage. You wanted to be able to talk about your loss while being there for the others who have lost. Give them someone to rely on.

You had hacked into many different medical files while doing this research and found out that depression had increased massively since The Snap. The fourth stage. This was the sign you’d been looking for. A way to help people. You continued to gather information and resources to come up with a plan.

~

“I want to create a safe space,” you sighed as you continued to show your dad a slideshow of your ‘business’ plan. It wasn’t a business, you didn’t care about money, and you wouldn’t be taking any money for this. This would be Stark-funded in its entirety. “A place people like us, who have lost, anything, due to my failure -“

“Our failure.” Your dad interjected, yet motioned for you to carry on. Clearing your throat, you did.

“Somewhere they can talk, grieve, connect. Anything they need while knowing they aren’t alone and they’re safe.” You pulled up a slide including a graph with the depression increase in just 6 months. Your dad nodded.

“Are you asking me to fund this?” He had his face resting in his hand as he looked out at the printouts you had given him previously. You confirmed back to him that you were indeed asking for his help. You didn’t trust what government was left to set this up respectfully. “Alright,” he got up, his figure finally returning to the way he looked before The Mad Titan appeared. Pulling out his wallet, he handed you his Stark Industries company card. “Use mine its got a higher spending limit than yours,” he winked. “Buy what you need and I’ll talk to Pep about-” he waved his hand in front of the holographic display. “All of this.”

After giving your dad a tight hug, you took the card, gathered your things and went venue scouting. It didn’t take long to find the perfect spot for your first group. 

Midtown High School.

#bucky barnes #bucky x reader #bucky x you #dad!tony stark x daughter!reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x y/n #catws #falcon and the winter soldier #bucky fanfic #bucky x female reader #tony stark x reader #tony stark #the avengers x reader #the avengers

[wachtelspinat]

Heya~

I often find it very difficult to find the right words, so I apologize in advance if any of what I have to say sounds dry or wrong, but I write it from the heart, I promise🧡

I know how you feel now and how much you get lost when that realization comes along. I learn art all my life, but I don’t succeed anywhere. No matter how long I try to do it, I still keep thinking “well I’m not good enough”. To be honest it scares the shit out of me every day, because if I’ll give up here… well there’s nothing I can do for life than. When I was in school, I was desperately clung to every fandom I had as my last hope to get rid of bad thoughts and I found those two silly characters that stole my heart immediately so of course it’s weird to say but since then Overwatch has become my “home”. It was not the perfect game but it was fun until Ow2 was released. Even if my love for OW is died, I understood that Junkrat and Roadhog took a much more bigger part in my live that I could ever imagine. I thought it was stupid, like come on that’s just a characters from the old and dead game but it turns out they’re not just characters, but in a way, my family or friends that helped me go through a lot of dark times, so it’s okey to love them deeply even if they are not real~

I always wondered, why do I make art? Is it what I really like and enjoy? Is it cost all the struggles and tears? But I found you and I fall in love with your arts immediately. I could have a really bad day in university but then I remember how I just go to your page to rewatch, for only gods knows how many times, your works. I love everything about them, how you can build a perfect shape with just one line, how many expressions and ideas your works have. Your knowledge of the anatomy is just… freaking olympic🤌🏻✨ you gave me the second breath in my path of an artist because looking at your works I was wondering if I ever be able to achieve such a high level and here I’m speaking not only about arts with Junkrat and Roadhog, I speak about every single one that I could find🧡 and I understood that art in general have much much more power in it that anyone thinks. It gives hope, inspiration, safety, emotions and so on~ even without knowing it, you can make another person’s life a little better.

All I wanted to say is - you are a fantastic person, highly talented and hard working. I’m sure everyone who follows your work will support every of your decision. I just wanted to say a big thank you from myself personally for everything you do🧡

hey ! i'm really sorry that it took me so long to respond, last week was just hell on earth. the sheer amount of words you put into this hit me right in the heart, and what you said made me tear up even more.

having a really hard time here to form my words, not only because my brain feels so fried, but because your ask is so sincere and i don't think i can possibly thank you enough. it's so weird, there is this constant battle in my head that everything is futile and trivial and i'm having a hard time seeing some kind of point behind my actions (not only art related). on the other hand, i know that WE give meaning to something. that it's the small things that tends to move mountains. i don't know if i'm making any sense here. point is. by telling me that - in my opinion - my irrelevant art has given you sth, if it's just a smile, new energy to try sth yourself, inspiration... you are shaking my world. and i'm grateful for that in a way i cannot describe.

and seriously, i don't know why we make art. because as you mentioned yourself it is always connected with doubts and despair. before i entered graphic design school back when i was super young i thought drawing was me. the one integral part that made me so ~special~. just to learn that a bunch of people draw, all around the world, and they often draw even better than i could ever achieve! in the last months of being in university i relied a lot on defining myself through my art again. because it immensely helped with my self-concept when everything around me just felt like i wasn't good enough. i'm kind of re-learning again that doing art is not the one thing that defines me. because i tend to heavily lean into that. it is after all the one thing i actually like about myself.

so yeah, thank you so much for reaching out. i love your art and the love you put into it, so i'm hoping that - despite the struggles we all share while being creative - you continue to draw, as so will i <3

(and junkrat and roadhog, man... yeah they're not just characters, they stopped being just characters from a game a long time ago for me. i know i'm a broken record at this point BUT their codependency and independency, the balance between grit and gross and sweet and off-kilter, sweat, tears, blood and some ice-cream on the side, begrudging and thankful - it seems stupid to me too because i know most people just see these comic relief mad max rip-offs but every time i think about their dynamics and some of the stories i've read in fan works it grips my heart and i think "holy shit i love them so. much." - i'm still not done drawing them by a long shot i think, it just feels like i've reached a dead end of some kind? because with little time at hand and even less energy left i struggle to form my thoughts into drawings. but i'm working on that. i'm working on doing some kind of tribute, like a zine with my art from 2016 up to today and some more stuff i've yet to draw (had this idea since 2022 and i've just recently learned SO MUCH about zine making and printing and i finally started putting the first files together). because that feels right, like a proper "here look at this i hope this explains why i love them so much")

[pinkberrypocky]

pmmm rewatch live notes: ep 4

madoka's convo w homura in this ep literally destroyed me. when she asks homura if she's seen people die before i made a noise akin to a wounded animal and my friends looked at me like i was insane. just wait until they understand. then they will be in pain like we are.

The nurse’s in kyosuke’s hospital say that they hope sayaka will be able to be the hope he needs to recover emotionally, which is silly considering she uses her life to restore his use of his hands

Sayaka is in such denial that she wants something out of kyosuke and healing his hands

Blue balls of light fall around madoka in the opening scene in the opening

End of the opening is red 

Madoka looks at her fried egg at breakfast while dissociating sadly which looks like mami’s soul gem and then starts to cry

Sayaka asks madoka to talk about what happened the day before later when madoka tries to bring it up

Sayaka is always trying to shove down and avoid the uglier parts of being a magical girl that don’t fit in her image of what it should be

Madoka isn’t sure about being a magical girl anymore after seeing mami die which shows how much she values life (for herself and for others) 

Sayaka says that mami took them into the fights to show them the resolve required before they became magical girls, but in reality mami was hiding the weight of the burden she was carrying for her secret selfish hope to not be fighting alone

Kyubey tells sayaka about how the other magical girls are going to react now that mami died knowing it will upset her and then says that only other magical girls have a right to judge them

Another instance of him pushing them to be magical girls at every opportunity

Manipulative bastard

When madoka visits mami’s empty apartment it’s sunset and the lighting is red/orange/yellow

Madoka calls homura “homura-chan” even though she doesn’t know her 

She knows her on a subconscious level and that’s why she never second guesses it

Or its because she wants to do what others want without a regard for what she wants

“It seems like you’re a veteran, though in a different way than mami… it seems like you’ve seen a lot of people die… how many?” woof madoka asking these things to homura is brutal 

Imagine you go through hell cycle for years and watch the one you love die countless times only for her to ask you if you’ve seen people die before

Madoka cries when she hears about how no one will know how hard mami fought to project people 

Which is so ouch when you think about how madoka does that to the extreme when she turns herself into a god that saves magical girls from becoming witches and erases herself

Madoka telling homura how she’ll never forget her is SO PAINFUL

Because she has forgotten homura over and over and over 

Yellow light from the window when sayaka is with kyosuke 

Red light coming from the floor

Sayaka tries to lighten the mood with kyosuke just like how she tries to brush off magical girl horrors

As sayaka realizes that the only way kyosuke can have his hand healed and play again is through a miracle, kyubey appears again to manipulate her in her weakest moment

He is a shadow backlit by bright yellow light

When madoka runs into hitomi who is affected by a witch’s kiss the lighting is very dim while the two of them converse and the people are almost entirely in shadow

Madoka follows them even though she knows that she can’t do anything to help them

She is always passive, following and worrying and yet unable to do anything both because of fear and because she isn’t a magical girl

The first active action from madoka in one of these situations is when she throws the chemicals out the window so that the people under the witch’s curse can’t use them to kill themselves

When she does this the broken glass cast a disturbing shadow on her face

And it only causes the masses to begin to attack her and renders her even more helpless as the labyrinth opens around her

This is the first time madoka is in a labyrinth alone and she very quickly succumbs to fear and despair

Madoka’s strength is her care and love for others so as soon as she’s alone she is powerless

When they talk after sayaka saves madoka from the labyrinth sayaka laughs and brushes off the fact that she became a magical girl

While madoka is clearly distressed and tries to argue with her (which is interrupted by homura arriving)

Kyosuke’s room is lit with blue when he realizes that his hand is blue

We meet kyoko when she talks w kyubey about how there’s a new magical girl in mami’s territory and 

Kyubey eggs her on in her anger and says “what are you going to do”

Kyoko calls sayaka a hatchling

#puella magi madoka magica #pmmm #madohomu #madoka magica #holy quintet #madoka kaname #homura akemi #mahou shoujo madoka magica #kyoko calling sayaka a hatchling is also literally crazy wtf why would they do this to me #it happens right at the end of the ep and my friends did not understand why i had such an insane reaction to it #like hello??? hatching from what? a grief seed mayhaps? #its just all the little word choices and allusions to the full horrors that will be revealed is so delicious #this show hurts so much i fucking love it #doomed yuri for the win #if it doesn't make me cry i don't want it

[chishnfips87]

Ranking every DRDT character from worst to best

This is my opinion. Do not type death threats.

Also, there are spoilers everywhere.

Some space here because spoilers.

16. In last place, David Cheim. In ch1 and ch2 episodes 1 to 4, I thought he was okay, from 2-5 to 2-10, I thought he was good, but then 2-11 came and completely and utterly destroyed his character. His new persona just took a character with such good potential and made it a Nagito/Syobai ripoff without any of the good qualities they have, and I cannot stand the design. Again, he had good moments, but I doubt we'll get any more. I just hope he get axed off soon. I'm sorry of this comes off as mean, I try to mean no offense or disrespect, but I find liking this guy to be a red flag. He doesn't even count as an antagonist for me. I hate him. Shit, I think the creator hates him too. 1/10.

15. Min Jeung. There's a huge jump from David to Min, because I think David's the only bad character in DT. I'm very neutral on Min, because I think she'd a character that just came and went. I didn't feel as big an impact from her end as many others did, that might be because I haven't looked at ch1 ever since I first watched it. Maybe a rewatch will improve my opinion, but for now, I'm neutral. 5/10.

14. Xander Matthews. Okay, this is where the cancellation starts. I just don't see the hype. I feel like I missed something. Just like Min, he had his time in the limelight, and I don't feel like they're gonna use him again, or at least not until a later chapter as a cameo at the very least. I will say in terms of design, he absolutely wins. His design's great. Otherwise, again, I have no strong like or dislike for him. 5/10.

13. Levi Fontana. I feel like he hasn't been in the story enough yet, and I hope they use him more. Again, amazing design. It's probably within the top 3 best designs in the series, in my opinion. He's not too bad, but again, he just needs more. 6/10.

12. Arei Nageishi. Now, if it was just ch1, she'd be #16, but in recent times, she's kinda climbed the ranks. Ch2 gave her some kind of characterization and humanity. I never thought I'd see it either. Once we realize why she has a mean spirit, we tend to somewhat empathize with her and understand her faults. Only reason she's not higher is because her arc was cut short. 6/10.

11. Hu Jing. She ever so slightly misses the top 10 because of the moments where she kinda babies Nico. Like yeah, it's wholesome she wants to protect them, but it just gets to a point where it feels like she's manipulating them into becoming a murderous pawn. Now, we want a wholesome relation with the two, at least I do, but I feel like we haven't truly seen that. Also, I wanna know, who gave Nico the wire? Yeah \*Hu\* gave them it? She may be moved up in the future, but for now, she's here at #11. 7/10. Oh, and speaking of Nico...

10. Kicking off the top 10, Nico Hakobyan. Chapter 2 really elevated this character here. Nico went from a nobody in chapter 1, to arguably one of the central focuses of the current chapter. Seeing them attempt to kill Ace is such a shock, and when it happens, a chill runs down the spine. Now, Nico is only tenth because much like Hu, there are a lot of questions that need answering, and I hope we don't end up with dead ends. 7/10.

9. Ace Markey. Ace is both a funny and tragic character, and he has a lot going for him currently. Again, just like Nico, I feel like he's at the beginning of some kind of arc, and I hope there's a powerful moment with him, like him and Nico having the biggest fight of their lives, or maybe he sacrifices himself for someone, or anything else. Any scenario can work for him so far. I think he needs direction. 8/10.

8. Eden Tobisa. Just like Ace, anything can go with her. With how friendly she is, she could be deceiving everyone. She could have some skeletons in her closet, we just need to know how far she's willing to go. That, and I hope we get a wholesome moment with her. Like she's comforted or Teruko helps her with something. She has a lot of pent up emotion and masks it with positivity, and that's great. 8/10. I hope there's a moment where she can't do it anymore. If not her, then it should be...

7. Whit Young. If Eden isn't the false positivity, Whit clearly takes that title. A lot of common predictions I see is Whit dying. However, I'm more intrigued by what would happen if someone close to Whit died. Whit's boisterous and ecstatic outlook is shattered, and his emotions collapse. The ingredients are all there, and it feels like we're building up a good moment with him where he hits the climax of his arc. 8/10.

6. Charles Cuevas. A surprisingly established character, Charles actually has a lot of screen time for someone still around. He's also surprisingly supportive of Teruko, in a way. I feel like an inverse effect has happened with them. Teruko would approach Charles, and he'd get a bit annoyed and hesitant to be around her. Come chapter 2, and Charles is trying to get through to Teruko, and she's not having it at all. I like the direction Charles is in, despite it looking like he'll die soon. Even still, he's very intriguing.

5. Teruko Tawaki. I have a good feeling that she'll get some kind of full hero's journey, like Christian Bale in The Dark Knight trilogy. She overcomes being almost stabbed and left to die by someone she thought could've been a close friend, then almost getting voted in the trial and having to scramble to save herself and everyone else, and now, she's gone rogue. She's dropped the nonsense, and will not let anyone stop her. I think her trajectory is great so far, even with the edgy and sarcastic moments, and I hope it gets better as the series progresses. 9/10.

4. Rose Lacroix. Okay, this may just be bias speaking, but Rose is funny. She has serious moments and is sympathetic, yes, but I also find her more low-down, sleepy side to be oddly fitting in a serious Fangan like this. She's a character that satisfies by just doing her thing, and I'm there for it. 9/10.

3. Arturo Giles. Another very controversial placement. I'm probably the only person ever who will back my Arturo enjoyment. I actually like how scary and villainous he is, and I like that he's not just a Byakuya ripoff. He's actually threatening, he's entertaining, and he could very well have some kind of arc, even though he looks like someone who ideally wouldn't. Maybe he realizes how much of a stalker he's been, and steps off of J's back for a while, then maybe tries to bind with Veronika or something like that. Again, it's bias, I just think Arturo's got a lot going for him, and the hate he gets is undeserved. 10/10.

2. Our runner up, J Rosales. Another top tier design. It's colorful, but not in a gaudy, distracting way. It's perfectly balanced, if anything. Also, like with Arturo, their dynamic could go any way. Arturo could actually protect her from something catastrophic, and she could have a newfound respect for him. A moment like that where someone is saved by someone they initially hate would be a good way of kinda patching things up between the two, and I think they're a good vessel for that. J's also a lot like Teruko, albeit not as edgy, so she's more tolerable, and she also has moments of vulnerability, and she could also overcome those as well. J's honestly very underrated, the more I think about it. 10/10.

1. Taking the top spot is Veronika Grebenshchikova. This is how the main villain is done. She's the perfect foil to Teruko. She's bright, vibrant, unhinged, and not afraid to be completely untrustworthy and dangerous. Her popping red and white design is also a good contrast to the dim green and black design of Teruko. If I could change anything in DRDT, I'd make her the antagonist, and not David with his stupid face, and his stupid stance, and his stupid manipulation. David can get bent, Veronika is the true antagonist of DRDT, and that's a hill I'll meet my maker on. 11/10.

#danganronpa despair time #teruko tawaki #ace markey #arei nageishi #arturo giles #charles cuevas #david cheim #eden tobisa #hu jing #j rosales #levi fontana #min jueng #nico hakobyan #rose lacroix #whit young #veronika grebenschikova #xander matthews #fanganronpa #drdt spoilers #drdt

[midgardian-witch]

I am multi-faceted and can't decide between fluff and smut today. Lol. So, NSFW Snuggle and/or SFW Clothing for 🐺 (duh)? If you do the clothing one, maybe Jack wearing his girl's shirt? It's always the girl wearing the guy's stuff. Let's branch out. Lol. Jack is smol. It would work. Hah.

Sideways related, because wolf, but I'm enjoying the 10th Kingdom gifs you've been posting too. 👍

Glad you enjoy the 10th Kingdom content! I put that in my queue when I rewatched it some time ago so this is just perfect timing for more woof content 😂

I am going with the sfw prompt because it immediately gave me an idea (took a bit longer though because I saw your ask really late last night and was already half asleep by that point 😅). You did say girl's shirt (and I agree more boyfriends should wear their girlfriend's clothes) but it turned more gn!reader other than the mention of reader owning dresses (fashion has no gender but ya know).

Hope you like it 💙

Tangled Up

Send me a prompt and a character and I'll write a reader drabble

tags: fluff | Scent Kink (hinted) | established relationship | mentions of reader owning dresses | gn!reader

ships: Jack Russell/Reader

AO3

(edit: I just now realized I totally forgot to put the tags in. I am so sorry 😭)

(edit 2: added AO3 link)

[CLOTHING] Person A finds Person B wearing their clothing.

You were exhausted. If everything had worked out like you had planned you'd have been in bed cuddling with your boyfriend hours ago. But of course things didn't go like you wanted them to. 

The door falls closed behind you with a heavy thud. You throw your bag to the side carelessly and walk into your flat but there is no sign of Jack. You expected him to perk up at the first sign of your arrival but alas neither hide nor hair of your werewolf boyfriend in either the living room or kitchen. 

"Jack? I'm home, baby!" 

Your call is left unanswered. That's unusual. Your brows furrow as you wander your flat until you stand in front of your bedroom door. Inside you hear a soft whimper. Your heart sinks into your stomach, dread pulling it down heavily. 

Was Jack hurt? Is that why he didn't greet you as soon as you entered the flat? 

With panic rising in your throat you open the door. The sight that greets you takes your breath away. 

In what can only be described as a nest of clothing lies Jack, dressed in nothing but a very familiar looking hoodie. He's curled around your pillow, your pajamas squished between it and his face. Every inhale of air is followed by a soft little whine from Jack. 

He looks so cute that it hurts you physically. 

You clear your throat awkwardly and at the sound his face immediately pops up. As Jack sees you his eyes grow wide and with an excited yelp he tries to scramble off of his makeshift nest. In his haste he gets tangled in some of the laundry. It's an adorable sight, like a puppy stuck in a blanket. 

You try and fail to stifle your giggling as you watch Jack struggle to get out of his nest. You decide to have mercy on him and walk over to him. He looks up at you as you stand at the edge of the bed, his eyes sparkling with joy. Dear god, you were only gone for a while but you've missed him. And by the Look in his eyes know he missed you too. 

You lean down and place a soft kiss on his lips. 

"Sorry for keeping you waiting, love" 

"You're here now. That's what matters, mi amor."

Your eyes wander his handsome face and travel downwards to the hoodie he had wrapped himself in. On closer inspection you realize why it looked so familiar. 

"That's mine, isn't it?" 

Jack tries to hide his embarrassment and his face inside the hoodie. His antics make you laugh again. He mumbles something into the soft fabric that you don't quite catch. 

Your hands cup his face and you tilt his head up tentatively, his eyes looking right into yours. No words leave your lips, you just raise your eyebrow, silently asking him to repeat himself.

"It's all yours,” he admits, gesturing towards the piles and piles of clothing. Shirts, pants, dresses, underwear, everything he could get his hands on, “I missed you, mi vida. So I-...well…"

You can feel the heat in his cheeks against your fingers. You're breathless for a moment, your heart pounding in your chest. He had missed you so much that his first instinct was to surround himself with your things, your scent. 

The love you feel for him swallows you whole, like crashing waves pulling you down. It’s too much all at once, this ocean of emotion in which you'd gladly drown.

“I love you,” you choke out the words, tears of joy threatening to spill out at a moment's notice. His kind eyes watch you, his own breath caught in his throat as he recognizes the raw emotion on your face. His hands find yours against his cheek and he pulls them to his mouth, his lips peppering soft kisses to your palm and wrist.

“I love you too. More than words can describe.”

Jack pulls you towards him onto the bed. You follow his lead and join him on the pile of laundry that you’ll have to take care of at some point. But those thoughts were for later. Much later.

You lay together and bask in each other's presence. Jack curls around you like he had with your pillow before you found him and mirroring his movements you entangle your limbs with his until you don’t know where he begins and you end. You bury your face into his neck to breathe him in. You don’t need his enhanced sense of smell to notice how the scent of your favorite perfume that still clings to the fabric of your hoodie mingles with his own. You’re usually not the possessive kind and yet heat coils in your stomach.

You try to pull him even closer to you, only your clothes as a barrier between your two bodies. You want to feel his skin on yours but for now you are too comfortable just existing like this, with him curled around you and you curled around him in turn. A pleased sigh escapes Jack as you squeeze him tighter, his hands holding onto you like he never wants to let you go. And you return the sentiment. There is nothing that could come between you now, nothing that could make you let go of him. At least until you decide to strip Jack out of your favorite hoodie. 

#jack russell/reader #jack russell x reader #jack russell #werewolf by night #werewolf by night fanfic #requested fic #fran-writes

[nopefer-art-tu]

OH MY GOD I CANT BELIEVE I ALMOST MISSED POSTING ABT BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN'S ANNIVERSARY???? im gonna get mushy here so if yall wanna skip this go for it i wont hold it against you lol but this movie means a lot to me (if u cant tell) and id just kinda like to share a little bit abt why

I remember when I first saw Brokeback, I'd been either a junior or senior in high school, and I had watched it with my ex. I literally have no clue how we got to watching it or who proposed we watch it in the first place, but I remember that even back then I had been incredibly moved by the story.

Cut to 5-6 years later, and in January of this year I'd been in the midst of a really, super dark depression thanks to some health issues that I've been dealing w for awhile now. It made it so that on top of COVID, I wasn't rly getting out of the house for anything but school, and even then doing that took a really big toll on my anxiety. So basically, from the time that the 2021 winter semester had ended for me in early December, to when school started back up again for the spring in late January, I hadn't left the house at all.

In mid January, like a week before school started back up for me, I was scrolling through Hulu, bored out of my mind and also trying to find something to occupy my time and thoughts w bc I'd been going stir crazy, and I saw that Brokeback had been listed again. I kinda lingered on it because I remember phil (@/senditothemoonn) had watched it like a month or two before and she had started talking abt it in our group chat and posting quotes abt it and stuff, and it had been awhile since I'd seen it so I was like hey! What the hell! Lets give it a watch, its time I watch it again anyways.

And like. Something happened to the world for me after that viewing. It was like it had blown apart, and when it came back together it was completelty rearranged for me.

I'm not entirely sure why that time around the movie has such a deep, DEEP impact on me when I had seen it before, and had been very touched by it back then. I think its partly that a. I never used to watch movies with subtitles, and so before I realized that I probably have issues with the way my mind processes sound, a lot of movie dialogue just kinda. Didn't get internalized by me for some reason? Even now when I rewatch old faves that I haven't seen with subtitles, I'm always astounded by what the hell theyre saying because I had never rly picked up on it before, lol.

And like...I mean if you've seen the movie then you already know this, but their accents and dialect are kinda hard to get through. ESPECIALLY when it comes to Heath as Ennis. Which isn't in any way a jab at him, I think every part of his performance is super thoughtful and well-crafted and every acting choice he makes serves the character in only positive ways. But when you already have issues processing audio, and when you have a character who's jaw is perpetually cleched so tight that the words literally have to "fight" their way out of his mouth, its just like. Not the best combination lol.

And so this time around when I saw the movie, I saw it with subtitles and it opened up a new dimension of the film to me. Honest to God, the first time I watched the movie, I had no idea that the shirts at the end were so signifigant because Jack had stolen Ennis'. I guess the first time I saw it, I didn't catch the part where Ennis talks about having left his damn shirt up there, and Jack just kinda shrugs it off and changes the subject. When I saw that moment this time, it didn't really strike me as anything important until the movie got to the end and you realize that Jack had kept the shirts all those long 20 years and UGH. I literally remember screaming with tears in my eyes, thats what happened to the shirt! There they are! And then when I saw that Ennis had put his shirt over Jack's to hang together on his closet door for the rest of his life? Dead. Dead, I was literally stabbed in the heart 50 million times and killed dead. I'd never made those connections before and now that I had I like. got it, yanno? I got why this was an oscar winner, and why people were sk devastated by its best picture loss. Not that I hadn't before, but it just hit so much harder.

So yeah, the subtitles probably had a lot to do w why its stayed lingering in my mind for a long while, but I also think its because in a few ways it kind of spoke to me and made me think about my health issues and the self-imposed quarantine that I'd put myself through for the better part of a year at that point.

To me, the whole story is about regret, about not taking the chances we have while we have them and having to learn to live with knowledge of the things we didn't let ourselves do and the memories we didn't let ourselves make.

I hadn't seen a lot of my family for awhile at that point because I just didn't want to be out of my house, and its only been recently that I realized how much life I've missed out on living for a good year and a half-ish or so. And like yeah, I have a reason, my health issues and super aggressive anxiety have kinda put me through the ringer. But I dunno like. I kind of empathized and related to Ennis' character in a really odd way, because he also let his fear control what he did and especially what he did not do, and for that, he ended up living a half-life and missed his chance of getting to spend his time with the person he loved the most.

For me, the fear of regret is one of my biggest motivators in doing literally anything. I've realized I don't want to end up like Ennis, isolating myself from my loved ones and missing out on the chance for love and life because of some issues I have. And I mean its not like they're not real issues. Just like the fears that motivated Ennis' actions, theyre very real concerns. But since seeing the movie, I've been a lot more proactive about seeing doctors and trying to get this shit fixed up, because I don't want to end up wasting my life away. I wanna find my Jack, and I wanna be happy, and I wanna live.

Anyways. Happy 17th birthday to my favorite movie in the world <3

#brokeback mountain #still brokeback posting

[allxthingsxglxtter]

@lcnelylcves​ || For Hamish

“Good.  You’re here.”  Caradoc hadn’t even knocked on the door to Hamish’s creepy house, or on the door to his office, just striding in like he was welcome even though he knew he likely wasn’t.  He likely wasn’t even a face his brother wanted to see today, but in this particular moment Caradoc didn’t care.  He put his hands down on his desk, bracing himself against it as he looked him in the eye looking more angry than Caradoc had ever visibly been.

He’d decided to spend his free day yesterday in the Library, wandering the shelves before deciding to try and look up his family.  See if they had stories that had made it in.  Caradoc had admittedly tried looking up Gennie first, but the last name turned out to be enough to lead him to Hamish’s story.  He hadn’t read the description, didn’t know anything going into it, so imagine his surprise when his mom appeared early in.  As head of a weird, magic group.  That was enough to wrap his head around.  He would’ve skipped ahead until he recognized one of the guys from the med school, Randall also being in it, and then when Hamish finally did show up..Caradoc had had to rewind the scene and rewatch it.  Leader of a freaking werewolf club?  And casually talking about murdering someone like that was normal.  Which, it turned out, it was.

He watched every moment, without stopping, for the whole 17 hours straight.  It was a nightmare, Caradoc learning so much tragedy about his brother’s life he’d never had any idea of, as well as the rather ruthless nature of the club he ran out of the creepy house that was somehow here in Sydney.  But that wasn’t even the worst of it for Caradoc, and that wasn’t really what had him openly emotional in front of his oldest brother. 

 “I get it.  We’re not close, never have been, and that’s due in part to just, being a Duke in general how we are, and then the other, obvious reasons for why I’m not close to any of you.  So, I’m gonna start this rant by stating I’m not mad you didn’t tell me, I wouldn’t have expected you to, and I honestly don’t give a shit your...what, possessed by a werewolf?  I guess? And sleeping with my mom, which is weird?  That’s beside the point.”   He shook his head, trying to refocus on what he needed to say.  “I just spent the last 17ish hours watching just some of your life on a tv which is strange as it is, but in those 17ish hours I fucking lost count of how many times you nearly died.  Lost count Hamish. I also lost count of how many people died and how much..death you’ve lived through, which, is also super concerning but the reasoning on most of it was...legitimate so that’s not...as bad to me.  It might be, once I’ve slept and actively thought this through, but you nearly fucking died.  A lot.  And you signed up for it!  You joined the “short is the life” club, and that’s...that thought was enough to spin in my brain fast enough that I’m here yelling at you for scaring the shit out of me.   Yeah, we’re not close but you’re my brother and I love you and I don’t have to know everything about you to know that losing you would never be okay.  No matter how good the cause is, you’re not worth it.  So, you’re not allowed to fucking die or open up anymore hell portals or get stabbed or...any of that because you’re my brother and I can’t..I can’t fucking fathom a world where you’re not in it.”

Tears were welling in his eyes by the end of it, heartbroken and wrecked by how much pain Hamish had lived through and scared of how close and how often he’d come to losing him and had no idea.  But feeling the tears in his eyes brought him back to reality a little, straightening to stand straight in front of Hamish’s desk and tense a little as he realized that not only had he swore more than ever before in his life, but he’d said a whole lot he really didn’t have any right to say to a family member that likely didn’t actually care what he thought or felt about any of it at all.  Caradoc took a breath before taking a step back towards the door, deciding it was best to leave.    

“I...sorry.  It...I shouldn’t have just burst in here with that..I promise not to tell the others, I’ll just..I should go.  Sorry.”

#the least of us: Caradoc Duke #tw: death mention #tw: murder mention

[strawberryshortcakegirl]

Guac and Evie Rewatch: 1.02 of HSMTMTS

Hi!! Went on vacation for a while but the rewatch blogs are back!

Why is it that all I remember from the Read-Through episode was chaos

I love how Big Red simply acknowledges that EJ is basically a Hollister model and then you see EJ's promo pic for Season 3 and it all makes sense

Okay so right now Nini is talking about if you look in the background there's like some tickets and flyers for musicals and things hung up in her room. And we all know Nini's phone case is a Playbill phone case too. I just feel like Season 2 Nini kinda ditched her love of musicals way too fast

So I just searched up Throb and realized that it's not an actual smell/perfume or whatever. My whole life is a lie.

OKAY BUT IMAGINE SOMEONE JUST COMES UP TO YOU AT A MALL AND SPRAYS PERFUME ON YOU-

EJ calling Ashlyn the bomb proves that this was filmed in 2019

Time for mental health time with Evie! Okay we see that EJ says that he's only pretending to be happy about playing Chad on his Insta story because inside he's a "bucket of sadness." It's obvious that his goal on Instagram is to seem like a person who has his life figured out and gets whatever he wants. Therefore, he says "blessed to be playing Chad" as if that's the part he wanted all along and he was expecting it.

Idk why they are so amazed by the rehearsal room

How does Miss Jenn not know that Natalie Bagley is the stage manager lol

This has bothered me since day one: Miss Jenn goes from Gb major to F major when singing We're All in This Together. Still the high note was amazing and I relate to Gina mouthing "yessss" after hearing it

"Abysmal read through, a brilliant opening night" I think a more accurate quote from my experience would be "Abysmal rehearsal, a mediocre opening night" but whatever

Big Red I mean if you took the SATs every week you would get better at it and then you could turn in your actual highest score... 😏

SEB IS SO CUTE WHEN HE SAYS I JUST WANNA RAISE THE ROOF GAHHH

Carlos and Miss Jenn just scrolling through Zac Efron's Instagram while they wait for the blocking rehearsal to start is a mood

Shouldn't Miss Jenn be reported for making two exes kiss? Especially since one of them specifically states that she doesn't want to

DATING HER DOESN'T MEAN YOU OWN HER ASHLYN QUEEN I'm currently trying to get my friend to learn that CRUSHING on her doesn't mean you own her -_-

Carlos and Gina knowing the Big Book of Broadway kinda predicts their friendship in Season 2 which is pretty cool

Honestly the dancers in this show are legendary

I think when I first watched the series, I always hated Ricky and him being all desperate until he talked about his parents going through some trouble. I like how they added that in early. It gives more depth to Ricky's character than him just chasing after Nini

How come Nini's room is twice the size of my room T_T

You can tell Gina is just talking to Ricky so she can get Gabriella but eventually later in the conversation, she gets much more real and genuine

Ricky dancing to HSM at midnight hit too close to home

Ashlyn just playing piano in the empty auditorium is somehow kinda majestic. Idk why. And she was so unpopular in Season 1. When she saw Nini, she immediately said she could leave immediately. And then in Season 2 she was the lead <3

TODAY I LEARNED THAT MISS JENN SAID BATHS KEEP ME SANE NOT BATS

Yeah I would kill for an autograph from Andrew Lloyd Weber so I'm not judging

WONDERING IS THE BEST SONG OF SEASON 1 AND I WILL FOREVER STAND BY THAT. It's so raw because it's live. Tim has wrecked that now with the autotune in Season 2 and 3. Bring back the quality from Wondering Tim

The whole gigantic package just to hold Vanessa Hudgen's (V-Hudge's... O_o") phone though

Haha Portwell was so different back then

I do think it's truly excellent that the two villains of Season 1 became two of the most beloved characters of the show.

Welp that's the end!! Btw these are now called Guac and Evie rewatches :)

#hsmtmts #hsmtmts s1 #hsmtmts 1.02 #hsmtmts rewatch #ricky bowen #ej caswell #nini salazar roberts #gina porter #ashlyn caswell #hsmtmts season 1

[i-like-potatoes]

omg just realized park hae young also wrote 'my mister'. is this why i like it so much. my mister is my top 3 dramas ever. i was actually going to rewatch it again because it helped me out before but i kinda wanted a new story so i gave mln a try and i'm glad i did! wow... omg so i finished. the ending 😭 i'm just hoping he's taking that money and going to mijeong and living a life that he actually wants. also my heart when chang hee sat in class for the funeral director, and i suddenly thought that was such an appropriate thing for him tho im not sure that was the class he intended?? im not too clear on that cus it looked like he passed that door and then stumbled in there and realized it wasnt the right one but then the whole thing about his feet takes him where he should be, where he belongs 🥺 oh god i loved these characters and i feel like they did a good job at showing their stories and im satisfied with how it ended. it gave me about the same feeling the end of my mister did :') hopeful. i loved watching them do such normal things in life and have realistic relations and go through the motions. watching these things unfold in their lives and to reflect on mine. when the end they want to restart the club until it works, i'd join 🥲 why do i feel like i just finally let my children live their lives at the end of this ;-; also about your comment on the intros, i didnt this time and now i regret it 😩 i was just too eager to start the show so i only ever watched it the first time and skipped it jfgjf but what a lovely detail to do that, id have to check it out. and ty for your thoughts. tbh im not doing that great in the 'having someone to talk' to department. this year seems to be a year of loss for me. i lost my bf when he just left (so gu just leaving like that kinda hit a little hard) and then i lost one of my bestfriends, bc my depression was/is becoming too heavy and i stopped talking and replying for weeks and they took it as i didnt care anymore. and what mijeong said early on, about how u dont do anything and u feel exhausted and every relationship feels like work.. thats how i felt with the situation and yeah. i regret how things ended but maybe its a lesson i needed to learn. but it was really nice seeing how mijeong starts feeling that way but ends up making these good friends from a place where she hated. she finds love and beauty, shes in a better environment, she looks back on her younger self and sees she was/is very passionate, but maybe it just got lost in her life. i want that. i want to find that love again. i want to be liberated 🥺

hello again, anon!

yes, she did. i haven't seen any other dramas written by park hae young, but i have heard praises about her writing. it looks like you really love 'my mister.' i'll definitely take a look at it when i have nothing to watch.

the ending is really great and i loved it very much (i wrote my thoughts about it too, you can see it here if you're curious). i love the symbolism shown through that coin; like it's trying to say that everything's not lost and you can still pick yourself up again.

and yes! changhee's ending is one of my absolute favorites. you're right, that class was not the one he meant to attend. but it's one of my favorites because it's about him finally coming to the conclusion that that might be his purpose given all the experiences he had with the people closest to him dying.

i felt really hopeful for the characters and myself as well. i'm glad it did the same to you. and i really mean it when i say i'm glad it made you feel something.

i loved watching them do such normal things in life and have realistic relations and go through the motions. watching these things unfold in their lives and to reflect on mine.

agree to what you said! it's so much more than a drama as it allows you to look at your life as well.

(you can save the intros for your rewatch session!)

and about what you're going through, i'm really sorry to hear that. but i want to let you know that you're not alone in how you feel. as a person with depression, i also find myself wanting to be isolated from others, both personally and virtually. i feel too much burdened and feel like a burden. i also know how it is when it affects the relationships you have with people you really treasure.

what i want to tell you right now is please take care of yourself. please get professional help if you can afford it. if not, don't forget that you still need to take care of you. try to get enough sleep, try to eat at the right time, stay hydrated, and try to take a little shower if you think that will make you feel better. it's not easy, but after doing that, you can pat yourself on the back and say, "you did a good job."

i mentioned before that i see myself in mijeong a lot. i knew it was because of this. the way she dreads every single day and has to play the role of a woman who is loved — it hit too close to home. to be fair, i dropped my liberation notes at episode 2, not because i did not like it, but because i relate to it so much that it was getting too heavy. is this why we relate to it so much? anyway, i picked it up again thanks to that i have found something that makes me delighted every time i talk about it.

but it was really nice seeing how mijeong starts feeling that way but ends up making these good friends from a place where she hated. she finds love and beauty, shes in a better environment, she looks back on her younger self and sees she was/is very passionate, but maybe it just got lost in her life. i want that. i want to find that love again. i want to be liberated 🥺

cheers to that! we can say that we're just lost right now, and that's fine. we can be filled with hope and be hopeful too, anon. i'm wishing the best for us 🧡

#my liberation notes #potato answers #mln anon 📒 #long post

[from-the-clouds]

Kiss Me More (Part II) - Zemo/Reader

Masterlist || Part One

Summary: Part two, read part one if you haven’t already! Sam & Bucky put reader in charge of looking after Zemo....again. Series loosely inspired by this song.

Words: 2.5k

Warnings: Kissing, heavy petting, mentions of sex, minor TFATWS spoilers.

A/N: Wow! I was so shocked on the feedback I got on the first part of this story. It has nearly 800 notes. I’m not used to my writing getting that kind of attention so I really appreciate the love. I decided to make this into at least a 3-4 part series and there will be eventual smut, but I feel like there’s something sweet between these two that goes beyond an obvious physical attraction, so I do want to build that a bit before we get there. This weekend I rewatched TFATWS & Civil War because I’m officially obsessed with Zemo lol. Please let me know what you think, and let me know if you’d like to be added to the taglist. :) 

-----

“Keep an eye on him.”

Y/N watched Bucky and Sam split off again. That was now at least the third time she’d heard that phrase since she arrived in Riga. Little did they know, she was probably the worst person to be put in charge of Zemo. Truthfully, it was starting to be a little insulting.

It was unclear why she’d been brought along on this mission, when half the time Sam and Bucky were talking in hushed tones just out of her earshot. There was always more to the story than they told her, but this time, it felt like she was more out of the loop than ever.

She adjusted the neckline of the sweater she wore out of an abundance of caution, checking subconsciously to make sure it hadn’t exposed the mark Zemo had left on her from the day before. It was a discovery she’d made that morning, and persisted despite her efforts to cover it up with makeup.

“According to those two, I must be the best at babysitting you,” she muttered under her breath. It was petty, so she wasn’t even sure if she wanted him to hear. But he did.

“Babysitting?” Zemo lifted an eyebrow. 

“You know, a nanny, a governess….whatever a Baron’s equivalent is,” she said, looking him in the eye for the first time that day, which was a mistake. He looked so handsome in that long, fur-lined coat, tall and refined, hair styled perfectly. There had to be warrants out for his arrest since escaping prison, and in his current getup, he was hard to miss. 

It wasn’t easy to ignore the stifling tension between them. The Baron hadn’t left her thoughts since she’d closed the door on him the evening before. Now they were alone again. She couldn’t decide if that was thrilling or terrifying, so she decided on both.

“It’s nice of them to give us some alone time,” Zemo stepped close to her, one gloved hand pressing between her shoulder blades. Despite the cool temperature outside, it was the first thing today that had her shivering. 

“Walk with me,” he commanded sternly. She saw no opportunity to refuse as they started in the direction opposite of where Bucky and Sam had disappeared. 

“Zemo-”

“Helmut,” he corrected her. “But go on…”

“We have to focus on figuring out where Donya’s funeral will be,” she said, feeling his hand slide down to settle on the small of her back, trying to inch away, but he just pulled her closer. “We can’t waste time.”

“I know Riga inside and out, that won’t be as difficult as you and your friends think,” he murmured. His proximity was already suffocating. Or maybe comforting. It was hard to tell. “Tell me, what is your business with them? You aren’t an Avenger. This was my first time hearing your name.”

She snorted, finally finding the strength to pull away, and he dropped his hand. That was one thing that had confounded her. He was confident, took liberties with what others would allow, but knew when to stop pushing. There was something alluring to his nature. 

“I’m not,” she responded, wondering how much she was willing to share. When she stole a glance out of the corner of her eyes, his head was lowered, leaning in, listening intently for her response. She wondered if he really cared, or if he was good at pretending. It was easy to believe that he did.

“Bucky and I aren’t that different,” she continued. “That’s why we’re friends. I’m not a super soldier, but I was taught how to fight, how to kill. I followed orders for too long without questioning whether or not I was doing the right thing. And at least now, I think I am.”

“You think,” he repeated, and corrected her again like he had the day before. As much as she wanted some kind of clever or quick quip back, she wore her heart on her sleeve for the moment and shrugged. There was nothing to defend when she still wasn’t sure what responsibilities she had in this world. 

Zemo halted, and she paused too, turning back to look at him. “So you were an assassin,” he murmured, reaching out. Nodding slightly, she lowered her eyes when his gloved thumb brushed across her face. The buttery, overpowering smell of leather took her over as he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “I would’ve never guessed. Du bist so süß.”

Her knowledge of German was limited, but she could see a flash of what looked like affection in his eyes. He couldn’t be lying, could he? She wondered. She wanted to trust that he wasn’t, wanted to identify every good part of him she could, so she could justify the overwhelming attraction she felt towards him. Something in her just kept pulling forward against her will, like a magnet.

“You’d be surprised,” she answered, but didn’t pull away. The intensity of his gaze made her feel weak, but there was something strangely reassuring in his eyes. It was just the two of them, standing on a crowded sidewalk.

She rose her hand to clasp around his, frowning when she felt the hard loop of a ring on one of his gloved fingers. It had gone unnoticed by her, until now. He still wore a wedding band. 

It would have been easy to vocalize the observation, gauge his reaction, try to regain some upper hand and remind him who exactly he was dealing with. But, it would’ve been pointlessly cruel, as she knew what that felt like to answer that question. Those days were behind her, now. 

As if the universe was scolding her, a loud car horn broke through the perceived silence. His hand dropped from her face, and they began to walk again. 

“I had lots of time to think in prison,” he said after a heady pause in conversation. “About the things I’d done. Whatever intentions you have, to someone, you’re always the enemy. What I thought was important, trying to serve the greater good, it isn’t always worth the trouble. I was trying to protect what I had already lost, the places and people I’d taken for granted.”

Deciphering his words, she took a moment before responding. “That’s actually...very insightful,” she said, partly surprised by what he’d shared, appreciating that he felt her vulnerability, and matched it in his response.

“I know you’re stunned I’m not a brute,” he answered, increasing his pace to a determined strut rather than a lazy stroll. She was forced to keep up with him. “You’ve been told what to think about me by Sam and Bucky.”

She scoffed. “Not just them. The entire world. All the people you’ve hur-”

He halted and turned to face her so quickly, she collided with his chest and her breath caught in her throat. 

“I’m not that man anymore,” his voice was nearly a growl, disgust laced in his features as he looked down at her. 

But as soon as she recognized it, he became expressionless again, backing away. Falling back into step beside him, they continued to walk, a bit faster than they had been before. She followed him, at this point convinced that she might get lost without his guidance, but a little startled by his sudden change in behavior.

“What do you think of Riga?” he asked her as they cut through an alleyway. His voice held none of the venom that it had a few moments ago, so she wondered if she’d just hit a sore nerve.

“It’s beautiful,” she answered, admiring the old brick buildings and fine architecture. “But I think I haven’t had much of a chance to appreciate it.”

“Have you been thinking about me?”

They ducked under an alcove, and she realized he’d carefully led her off the crowded streets. It was much quieter here. She suddenly didn’t feel as protected as she had been with him in the open. The temperature in the shaded space was much lower than expected. And he was standing over her, waiting for some response she didn’t know if she could give. 

“I haven’t forgotten about last night, liebling,” he continued. 

Of course she had been thinking of him. Nearly nonstop. What they’d shared, what it meant. She hadn’t been able to sleep until she relieved herself, fingers rubbing her clit and delving into her warmth, whimpering his name when she finally came. Still, it had done little to quell the ache inside her. 

It was a horrible thing, she’d decided. Objectively horrible, and unprofessional. There was the consideration of accessibility. What did he see in her beyond a means to an end? Was she really going to throw everything she’d worked for away to a man who was going to use her to scratch an itch?

Too much was at stake, Sam and Bucky’s trust, her reputation, her job, and she couldn’t allow it to go on. 

But oh, how much she wanted it to. 

“Yesterday was nice,” she straightened up, holding her own. “I won’t lie to you.”

The corner of his mouth tugged up slightly in a self-satisfied smirk. 

“But I’m not foolish,” she continued. “Coming on to the first woman you see after you get out of jail? Seems pretty convenient.”

At first, the Baron tilted his head to the side, his brows pulled together at her words. But after a moment, the smile returned, and he chuckled. “Is that what you think this is about?”

“Don’t insult me, Helmut,” she said sternly, trying her best not to feel embarrassed. She was only being honest.

“Are you always so severe to yourself?” he asked, tutting lightly. 

It would have been better to say nothing. Why give him anything at all? 

She didn’t answer his question, just backed away from him and began walking in no particular direction, wanting only to increase the space between them and regain her common sense. That was impossible however, as she was jolted backwards before she even knew what was happening, a firm hand on her upper arm, and she was chest to chest with Zemo once more. 

“We were in Madripoor together. I could’ve had my way with many women there if I wanted. But I didn’t.”

“Please-” she rolled her eyes.

“If all I wanted to do was fuck someone, I could have done it by now,” he stalked forward, the air pressure around them dropping, weighed by the tension hanging thick between them. “But that’s not what I want. I want you.”

His words, spoken in a soft, low purr rattled away every bit of resolve she had left in her. Some last ditch effort found her stepping backwards, but her body met the brick wall behind them and she realized he had her cornered. 

In more ways than one, she thought.

Taking in a shaky breath, she looked up at his eyes, clouded with lust. “I know you want me,” he said, not a shred of doubt in his voice. But why should there have been? He was right. 

Her eyes darted around, like someone or something around them was going to jump out and save her from herself. It didn’t go unnoticed. “There’s no need to be scared, liebling. I feel it, too.”

With that, he closed the gap between their lips. He tasted sweet, like the candies he’d been eating back at his flat. Turkish delight. She was drowning in him again, his scent, his touch, everything about him enveloped and beguiled her. Her shirt had bunched up slightly somewhere along their walk and his gloved hands explored the exposed skin, leaving goosebumps in their wake. 

She surrendered, letting him tease open her mouth and claim her wholly. It was still bad, she knew. But there wasn’t any last bit of self-control left in her. 

The layers of clothing between them didn’t allow for the same proximity she’d had to him the evening before. Groaning in delight and frustration, she reached up to tangle and rake her fingers through his hair, as his fingers curled around the top of her sweater, revealing the sensitive skin of her neck. 

“Don’t hide this,” his lips left hers as his eyes focused on the stamp of affection he’d left behind the day before. “Let them see.”

“You know I can’t,” she responded, sheepishly pulling it back into place. Studying her with amiable consideration, his hand rose to brush tenderly across her cheekbone. 

“I thought you’d come to me last night,” she confessed, drawing away slightly, shocked by her own admission. But right now, she didn’t feel the need to put up as much of a facade. He looked positively virile; panting, his cheeks flushed and hair mussed, pupils blown out as he focused on her. To know she was the cause of his current state of disarray gave her an immense amount of satisfaction. A buried, salacious part of her wondered what else she could do to make him look even more unkempt.

“I considered it,” he said, sounding almost timid. “But I want to do this right.” He leaned in, pressed a kiss beneath her ear. “In private, so no one can disturb us,” he continued, lips moving down her neck. “We can take our time, you can be as loud as you’d like.”

The mental image he was currently painting for her was doing very little to strengthen her convictions, whatever those had been. The thought of her legs wrapped around his torso, naked bodies pressed together sent a bolt of electricity through the pit of her stomach, radiating outwards. She wanted his lips on every inch of her skin. Aching at the possibility, the present tease of his teeth nibbling on her collarbone wasn’t helping.

“You know we can’t,” she didn’t try to stop the thought as it came out of her mouth.

“What is there to lose?”

Everything, she thought, but didn���t answer. She couldn’t really, as his gloved hand was trailing slowly under her jacket and sweater, against her bare skin, and cupping her breast through her bra. Whimpering, she couldn’t control the way her body arched against his.

Hooking her knee on his hip, she let him press forward, feeling the warmth of his excitement through his trousers and her jeans. He ground against her once, teasingly, and she moaned softly into his mouth. 

He was the one to pull away, and she was thankful he did. “Think about it, liebling,” he said softly, pressing a tender kiss to her temple. “Du hast die Kontrolle.”

“We can’t,” she answered again, but even she didn’t believe herself. Raking her hands through her hair and adjusting her rumpled sweater, she straightened up. “We have a job to do.”

Brushing past him out of the alcove, each step she took away from him gave her the self control she desperately needed. She glanced over her shoulder to see him reluctantly trudging behind. At this point, she wasn’t foolish. There were only two ways this could end.

----

Part III

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[itsdanii]

Ahhh, your rejecting and regretting series is so good, my heart 🥺❤️ Can you do another one but with kuroo and kenma? You can ignore this request if you don’t wanna do it, I love your writing style and your blog! Stay safe and have a good day! 💞💞

Hey, bub! Thank you so much for the kind words, I appreciate it ♥️ I hope you don't mind me doing this only for Kenma. I got carried away so it got quite longer than I intended 🤦‍♀️ Anyway, here's your request! I hope you like it ♥️ Have a good day, stay safe and hydrated! Mwah!

a/n: read the note on the last part.

Rejecting and Regretting 6

genre: angst to fluff

warning/s: cursing, do message me if i missed any

a/n: please do read the warnings before you proceed. warnings have been put there for a reason.

ft. timeskip!kenma kozume

title says it all

Masterlist | Updates

Kenma Kozume

When you moved in to your apartment, you never expected your neighbor to be THE Kenma Kozume

If truth be told, you've been a fan of his ever since he started streaming

You knew that he didn't know you nor would he pay attention to you so you did not bother telling him that you were a big fan - the first one to always comment when he starts streaming

Not only did you think that it may make him uncomfortable but also make him feel like you were only trying to befriend him for his reputation

One night, as you were coming back from a short trip to the grocery store, you were walking with your earphones in and nose pointed on the screen while rewatching one of his videos

What you didn't know was that Kenma was walking behind you and was actually staring as you smiled and giggled while watching

You almost squealed when a hand came on your shoulder, almost punching the person behind you

Oddly, that was the starting point of your friendship

Although Kenma was hesitant at first (duh, you almost punched him) , he slowly eased when he felt that you were genuine

You basically went from neighbors to roommates because of how often you went to his unit, just playing random games and having occasional sleepovers

It wasn't long then when you realized that your "fangirling" towards the streamer developed into something more

You realized that you were no longer looking at him as the Kodzuken of the gaming world but just Kenma Kozume

You knew that you were fucked and thus you tried hiding it, but no matter how hard you tried, you couldn't

So you came up with a solution - confess. You decided that you would take the leap, confess, and hope that everything would turn out well, not knowing that it was only one sided

You shifted from one foot to another as you waited for Kenma to open the door of his unit.

Earlier, you both planned another sleepover and you took the initiative to cook dinner for the two of you instead of ordering another takeout.

As you waited, you could feel your stomach grumbling as the scent of the freshly baked sushi wafted in the air.

To be honest, you weren't really a good cook but you taught yourself how to with the help of youtube and cookbooks. You weren't even planning on learning how to do it but you were getting bored of takeouts, plus, you also wanted to impress Kenma even for a bit.

When the door finally opened, you smiled widely at Kenma while showing the food you made.

"Told you to not bother knocking and just make your way inside," he muttered before taking the pan from you and letting you in.

"Unlike you, I have my manners, Kozume," you playfully said as you plopped yourself on the couch head first.

Hearing him mumbling something under his breath as he arranged the table, you propped your elbow on the couch to watch him with a small pout playing on your lips. Your eyes followed his every movement and you couldn't help but question how someone could look so perfect.

His hair was a mess in a half bun and he was wearing nothing fancy, just his old sweatpants and a hoodie. Despite that, he still managed to look like a model, specifically those who preferred the "woke up like this" look.

"Y/n, are you going to eat or not?"

You blinked your eyes when you noticed the frown plastered on Kenma's face. Immediately, you stood up and walked over to the table with a small blush on your cheeks after being caught daydreaming.

"Sorry," you said sheepishly.

Kenma's apartment was then filled with the sounds of utensils clanking and small conversations the two of you were sharing.

Even though it seemed like Kenma wasn't paying attention, you knew that he was listening. You were aware of how much he preferred listening and observing more than talking anyway. It's just that you wished that he would talk more around you.

Somewhere in your conversation, you tried hinting your feelings towards him. In fact, you think that it was pretty obvious, but it seemed like Kenma didn't notice - that or he was purposely avoiding to indulge you.

"Getting in a relationship with a fan isn't boring you know? It actually sounds exciting, to be honest."

At that, Kenma heaved a sigh which instinctively made you shut up.

His eyes were already casted on the food infront of him instead of you,  eyebrows furrowed as if he was suddenly put in a bad mood. "I dont... really like this topic," Kenma said with a dismissive tone.

You felt your heart drop upon hearing that.

You've already practiced your confession several times and there was no way you'd let such words discourage you that easily. All you knew was that you had to get it out of your chest - now or never.

You placed your utensils down and looked at him straight in the eye despite him trying to avoid your gaze. "Why not, Kozume?" you asked, trying to push him to talk.

"I just don't see the point. Why would you want to date your fan? That's... weird," he simply answered, "What if they don't really like you? There's a high chance that a fan would date their idols because of popularity and fame. It's nothing but a self satisfaction."

"Hmm... I guess you do have a point," you said with a nod.

Placing your elbow on top of the table, chin resting on your palm, you pointed at yourself with your free hand which made Kenma look at you with one eyebrow raised. "Then what if it's me who wants to date you? Im a fan of yours, after all. Would you also reject me?" you asked hopefully.

Without wasting any second, Kenma answered, "Of course. Why would I date you?"

You didn't know how to react upon hearing that. You wanted to believe that he was trying to tease you but there weren't any signs of that from the tone of his voice. Moreover, he had nothing but a serious expression on his face.

"Because I like you," you answered with a low voice.

That simple phrase caused the silence to enevelope the two of you. The anticipation made your hands feel clammy to the point that you had to let go of your utensils to grip the sweatpants your were wearing.

Silently, you stared at each other as if waiting for the other person to break the silence - until Kenma did.

"Well, I don't." Standing up, Kenma took his plate and placed it on the sink, his back turned against you as he continued, "I think I'm going to stream for a bit. Make yourself comfortable."

You stared at Kenma as he made his way to his room wordlessly. "Make myself comfortable? Just who the fuck would say that after rejecting someone?" you muttered under your breath.

Knowing that it would be pointless to distract him while streaming, you started to clean the table and proceeded on washing the plates. As you were doing so, you whispered a curse when a tear suddenly slid down your cheeks.

You weren't supposed to cry. You prepared for this so you should've been able to take the rejection properly, right? He was Kenma Kozume after all. Although you became close with each other, it seemed as if he was really beyond your reach.

And now you ruined the only thing keeping you close to him - your friendship.

You decided to leave his unit after that. You felt that proceeding with the sleepover would only put a tense atmosphere between the two of you. Moreover, he did shut you out, right? Though he told you to make yourself comfortable, the way he acted said otherwise.

Maybe he only said it not to hurt your feelings.

"As if he hadn't already," you murmured, shutting and locking the door behind you.

In hopes of cheering yourself up, you decided to take a warm shower and pamper yourself to he point that skincare products basically littered your vanity when you finished and don't forget the fact that you ended up smelling like a strawberry because of your bodywash.

By the time you went to bed, you were feeling a little better... or were you?

As you laid on your bed, staring at the wall beside you while hugging a pillow close to your chest, your mind suddenly went back to what happened awhile ago.

You thought of how dismissive he seemed towards you. He wasn't always like that. Kenma had always been enthusiastic when you're around. Sometimes you would even end up watching beside him as he streams.

What changed?

Groaning, you buried your face on your pillow when you felt yourself tearing up once again. "Tomorrow will be better," you mumbled against the soft material as you slowly allowed yourself to fall asleep.

It didn't.

In fact, it got worse.

Not only was Kenma avoiding you, he was also acting as if he didn't know you - as if you didn't exist.

Earlier this morning when you were taking the trash out, you waved at him in hopes of lightening up the mood, but instead of usually greeting you, Kenma didn't even spare you a glance. He basically walked pass you without saying anything.

At first, you thought that maybe he didn't see you. Maybe his mind was elsewhere while walking. That could be possible right?

But when it continued for several more days, you realized that he was indeed avoiding you.

You felt a mixture of pain and anger. You were supposed to be the one avoiding him since it was him who rejected you but why was it the other way around? He could've atleast talked to you, let alone smile. Did he not value even just your friendship?

As the days went on, you were slowly getting tired of being the only one to put effort on rekindling your relationship. It was exhausting to keep on chasing over someone who didn't even acknowledged you.

Maybe you were just a bother to him after all.

So despite your will to keep on getting his attention, you decided to stop. If he didn't want you then so be it. You already confessed and did your best to show him that you're genuine. That's all that matters.

-

Kenma stared at your door beside his intensely, hand mid-air to turn the knob of his own unit.

It had been two weeks since he last saw you and for the third time of the day, he was yet again met with nothing but silence when he tried knocking on your door.

Where were you?

He knew that how he acted towards you was unreasonable but he didn't expected himself to wake up feeling like shit everyday without seeing you. He did this. He pushed you away. He said he didn't like you, right?

Groaning frustratedly, Kenma entered his unit, heading straight to his streaming room to cool off his head. If he couldn't see you personally, then perhaps he could at least see your name on his viewers.

He knew you always watched his stream and how you would always be the first to comment. Sometimes, you would even donate a huge amount of cash as a tip even though you always complained about being broke.

"They're not watching?" Kenma said unconsciously as he noticed how your name wasn't on the list.

That instantly caused a ruckus in his stream's comment section. Several fans kept on asking who Kodzuken was referring to and some even got the right answer since he streamed with you several times already.

But instead of saying anything, Kenma stayed silent. He focused on his game, occasionally shifting his eyes to the comment section and interacting with his fans.

His eyes, however, caught one comment. It was a link with the caption "Isn't this y/n?". Out of curiosity, Kenma decided to check it, finding out that you were indeed the person in the video.

No, it wasn't a video. It was a live stream of someone like him - a player.

And there you were, seated beside the unfamiliar person with a fluffy blanket wrapped around your body and your your head resting on their shoulder.

Who was that and why did you look too comfy?

"Sorry, guys. I'll have to end the stream now. Something important came up," Kenma said with a small wave before ending his stream.

Stalking the other streamer's socials, Kenma frowned upon noticing several pictures of you attached in their instagram. They were even posted just a few days ago which meant that you must've been spending time with them throughout the days you weren't at home.

Something stirred inside Kenma. It was an unpleasant feeling blooming inside his chest, clawing at him and making him realize one important thing.

He was in love with you.

And it was only confirmed when he remembered how nervous he was when you confessed, how scared he was when he heard the door shutting after he rejected you, and how stupid he was for only realizing it now.

"Shit," he whispered to himself as he quickly tapped on his phone, his finger hovering over your number, debating wether or not should he dial.

Suddenly, he shifted his gaze on the monitor of his pc which was still displaying the unfamiliar streamer when he noticed how you snuggled closer to their side.

Muttering anther curse, Kenma clicked on your number, his eyes focused on the montior of his laptop as he watched you picking up your phone.

"Please pick up," he pleaded when he noticed the frown on your face.

It took him a full 5 minutes and several dials to finally make you give in. He watched as you whispered something on the person beside you before making your way out of the room.

On cue, your voice suddenly met his ear.

"Kozume?"

It was still as soft as he could remember and with the fact that he finally admitted his feelings, his cheeks burned when he felt his heart racing.

Say it. Say it.

Say you like her.

"I-" pausing for a moment to rethink his words, Kenma sighed deeply before answering, "I'm sorry for being mean."

Fuck.

He was met with silence from the other side and for a moment, he got scared that you dropped the call.

It was until he heard some rustling sound that he realized you were still there and was purposely trying to stay quiet.

"Can we talk about this in person?" you said with a tiny voice.

Out of panic, Kenma nodded, forgetting that he was ralking to you over the phone and not in person. Mentally smacking himself, he answered, "Yes. I'd prefer that."

And I'd prefer if you're here instead of that caveman's room.

"Then, I'll be there in 20."

-

The moment Kenma heard someone knocking, he was quick to open the door.

His lips basically parted at the sight of you. It was only two weeks and yet why did it felt like he hadn't seen you in a month?

"Kozu-"

"I'm sorry," he cut you off, arms wrapping around you as soon as you stepped inside his apartment.

He felt how your body became stiff in his hold and without wasting any chance, he poured everything out. "I'm sorry for how I acted towards you. I treated you as if you were the last person I wanted to be with and when I didn't see you for several days, I realized how much I hurt your feelings." He took a deep breath, eyes focusing on you as he gripped your shoulders slightly. "Forgive me? I promise that I'll make it up to you."

Kenma hoped that you could notice the genuineness in his voice. He wasn't the type of person to talk too much but for you, he'd do it if it means having you forgive him and give him another chance.

"It's... alright, Kozume," you answered with a small smile.

"It's alright?" Kenma asked slowly. He knew that he should be happy that you forgave him easily but the way you said it made it seem like you were only forcing yourself.

It's like you didn't mean it.

"W-what do you mean it's alright?" he repeated.

"It means exactly what it means. I don't really see the point of holding a grudge against you, you know? You rejected me and I accepted it." Shrugging your shoulders, you walked pass him and went to sit on the couch. "I guess I just got too ahead of myself. I mean, you're Kenma Kozume, the Kodzuken of the gaming world. It would be impossible for you to like me, right? Sorry if I made you uncomfortable with my confession."

Kenma swallowed the lump forming inside his throat, eyes darting away from your figure as he shook his head no. "No... That's not true."

"What do yo-"

"I like you. How could you ever think that low of yourself?" he said, finally looking at you before he walking towards your direction. "It's not Kodzuken to you, y/n. Kozume - just Kozume. I don't want you to think that I'm someone all high and mighty just because people acknowledge me. I don't care about that. I want you. I want you to look at me the same way you did before. I want you to keep on clinging to me and to keep on cooking for me despite not knowing how to. I want you to like me again. I just want you.."

You felt your eyes well up with tears. After a long time of pining over someone you thought you wouldn't be able to reach, it was finally here - the moment you finally manage to hear the words you've longed to hear from him.

"D-do you mean that?" you asked with a small sob, your hand covering your face as you felt yourself being lifted and placed on Kenma's lap. "What if you're only saying that to make me feel better?"

"Of course I mean it. I was too stupid being scared of acknowledging my feelings towards you that I ended up rejecting you. I'm sorry." Gently, Kenma rubbed your back as he kept you in his arms, words of apologies continue slipping past his lips as he waited for you to stop crying.

"If I told you I still like you, would you promise not to treat me like shit again?" you asked while wiping your cheek with the back of your hand. "You were really mean to me, Kozu."

"I'd promise," Kenma answered with a nod.

Looking at him, you sniffled one more time. "Then I still like you," you said without taking your eyes off him.

You didn't fail to notice how Kenma's cheeks turned a lighter shade of red and the thought of how he got more flustered by your second confession than the fact that you were seated on his lap made you smile a little.

"Oh," Kenma uttered, as if suddenly not knowing how to react.

"You're supoosed to kiss me like those cliche movies," you said while encircling your arms around his neck.

Kenma's blushed even deeper after hearing that. Gulping, he gave a stiff nod before leaning in and finally planting his lips on yours.

His lips were soft against yours. Despite how tense he was at the beginning, he slowly managed to relax, fingers interlocking with your hair as he kept on moving his lips in synch with yours, both of your eyes closed as you savored the moment.

You felt yourself smiling in your kiss as you realized something - no longer were you just a fan but his s/o.

If you're reading this, hello.

I've decided that this will be the last part of the rejecting and regretting series. Though I had a lot of fun writing these, I'm no longer satisfied with how I'm writing them. The scenes were slowly becoming repetitive as well as the words. I'm craving for something new- something fresh that I've yet to explore. It was quite overwhelming how much people loved this series and I'm very thankful for that so I feel a little bad that this would be the last one. Don't worry, I still have some stuff brewing up that I hope you'd all enjoy.

Thank you so much for the love, support, and most importantly, for reading the series up until this last one. ♥️

#haikyuu fluff #haikyuu imagines #hq fluff #hq imagines #haikyu x reader #haikyuu drabbles #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x you #dani.talks #haikyuu comfort #haikyuu angst #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu!! #hq fics #hq angst #hq comfort #kenma fluff #haikyuu kenma #kenma angst #kenma headcanons #kenma hcs #kenma comfort #kenma drabble #kenma imagine #kenma scenario

[15-dogs]

hugger |n.s.|

pairing: newt scamander x reader

summary: you begin to develop feelings for newt, your employer, and accidentally do the one thing he hates: hugs (super super fluffy! pining, friends to lovers, takes place in between fbawtft and fb:tcog)

warnings: extremely minimal swearing, getting injured (nothing serious!), a niffler giving birth (?)

guide: (Y/N) = your name, italics = flashback

word count: 2.1K

a/n: this was supposed to be a blurb LMAO i rewatched fantastic beasts and unearthed my 8th grade crush on him which gave me this as a product! i hope you like it!!

“Denied again?” you asked Newt. He gave you a curt nod as he paced towards the Kelpie pool. 

You frowned; he always seemed to get quieter after he returned from the Ministry. It had been his third attempt to regain his international passport and, of course, his third run in with his brother, Theseus. And you knew how complicated their relationship was. Newt never really talked about Theseus, except for the offhand comments he would make about him.

So far, all you had gathered about the mysterious Scamander was that he was tall, an Auror, and quite the hugger. You nearly burst out laughing when Newt had mentioned that last little fact about his brother as if it were reason enough to dislike him.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Scamander, but that just doesn’t seem like something to hate a person over.”

Newt exhaled in quiet laughter as he pet a Mooncalf, grabbing some treats from the bucket he held. He flashed a kind smile at the Mooncalf before turning off and dropping the bucket to the ground, staring you down from across his basement.

“You haven’t met Theseus, then.”

Newt refused to meet your eyes as he joined you in caring for the Leucrotta. You chewed your lip— perhaps you were making a mistake, talking to him so plainly. He was your employer, after all. You weren’t there to help him make nice with his older brother.

Yet, you continued to speak as if you were a personal acquaintance of his. “What I’m trying to say is you’re an incredibly kind, sweet person, Mr. Scamander.” 

That got his attention. His head slowly raised to meet yours, and when he saw you were already looking at him, he looked away. But that did not deter you. 

“You refer to yourself as these creatures’ mother!” you announced with playful exasperation. That got to him, a soft, harmonic chuckle escaping his lips. “You have such a big heart. I suppose I’m just a little shocked that hugging is the disqualifier.”

Newt’s smile faded as he processed your words. You saw his Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed, thick with emotion. He then shook his head as if it would drive the feelings away, pointing you off towards another creature in need of care.

“Well, what are you going to do?” you prodded, making your way beside him. “Try again?”

“Yes,” he stated with a nonchalant shrug, “that’s exactly what I plan on doing. And I’ll keep at it until I get that ban lifted.”

You snorted. “I can see why you were a Hufflepuff— dedication like no other, Mr. Scamander.” 

Newt glanced up at you with a lopsided grin that had your stomach flipping for a moment. The tips of your ears began to heat up and you prayed to Merlin that your hair covered them.

You had known for a while that you had feelings for Newt. It started cultivating inside you with every adoring smile, every impassioned statement, every quiet appraisal. It had soon grown too big to go unnoticed and you knew you were in far too deep.

“Quiet now, quiet now,” Newt whispered to the little Bowtruckle, “mum’s here.”

You were padding down the steps from his apartment, reading the instructions on the back of a potion vile. He had advised you to get it from his medicine cabinet for your headache but you weren’t entirely sure that you picked up the right one.

“Mr. Scamander…” your voice trailed off at the sight of his maternal tendencies.

“I know, I know,” he cooed, “but change can be a good thing. On you hop.” He continued to pet the small and pouty thing before placing it into the makeshift nest he had created, where it was welcomed by the rest of its friends.

That small moment, seemingly insignificant, had caused you to completely fall for Newt. His soft, green eyes fell upon you with a gentle, questioning look at the potion you held. You nodded, answering his silent question without actually telling the truth because, if Newt could be as seemingly perfect as he was day in and day out, you could suffer with a headache for one day.

“Prepare the ointment, please.”

You raised the large container of ointment that you had mixed together in preparation for Newt’s return. “Don’t have to ask me twice, Mr. Scamander.”

He nodded his head towards a desk where you placed the container down. 

Newt began to take off his trademark royal blue coat, flinging it onto a desk as he conversed with you about your work. “How has Molly been?”

You eyed the pregnant Niffler which was milling about in its cage. “Quite well, actually. She’s due any day now.”

“And the other Nifflers?”

“Niffler-y, as always,” you joked, earning a smile from the sandy haired man before you.

“Lovely.” Newt finally turned around, examining your state. “You’ll join me, won’t you? Kelpie’s are easier with two people.”

“Right, yes, of course.”

“Brilliant.”

You undid the buttons on your blouse with haste so that you stood in your pants and camisole, pulling your hair from your eyes as you prepared to hop into the pool. It wasn’t like it was the first time you’d done this, but each time had your nerves thrumming with anxieties that something would go wrong.

You spun around as you took a step towards the edge of the pool, standing shoulder to shoulder with Newt. He extended his hand without looking down, taking yours in his perfectly rough ones, your mouth instantly going dry. Newt looked over at you, so incredibly close that your noses nearly brushed against one another. He nodded and so did you, both hopping backwards into the pool.

Your camisole popped up from the sudden force and Newt quickly looked away as you tucked it back in to the best of your ability. As soon as you were done, you splashed some water his way, striking him in the chest. His eyes went wide with amusement as he did the same to you, hitting you square in the face.

A small wave knocked the two of you back under, the Kelpie swimming its way towards you. You and Newt managed to grab a hold of it, barely staying on as it bucked you two up and down. 

After about the third time the Kelpie lept from the water, you cemented your grip. You let out a loud whoop as the cold air kissed your wet skin, Newt also cheering beside you. The Kelpie dove deep under the water, preparing to rocket you two up. As it breached the water, Newt sent you a disarming smile that had your hands subconsciously loosening. As the Kelpie snapped back under the water, you were thrown off, your body just narrowly missing the stone columns of the pool and splashing with a loud crack in the water.

“(Y/N)!” Newt cried out. His voice was drowned out by the water and by the fact that the pain from the fall had you slipping in and out of consciousness. It was the last thing you heard before you passed out, deep under the water.

You awoke to smell of a savory broth soup flooding in from the room over. You looked around the familiar space, soon realizing that you were sat on Newt’s couch, a blanket tucked firmly up to your chin. Your cheeks grew warm as you inhaled the scent that was distinctly him, scolding yourself for the childish crush you had developed.

You adjusted yourself, sitting up to see a tray of tinctures on the table beside you with a note that read, “Please take these when you wake! Newt.” You followed his orders, slugging them back with a wince at each unpleasant taste.

But then you heard a strange noise from the basement. It was a mix between a squeak and a whine, concerning enough to pull you from your cozy spot on Newt’s couch. You stood up and peered around the corner, hearing a soft, offkey hum ringing from the kitchen where Newt most likely was cooking his dinner. The sound of his voice warmed your heart and you almost, almost, got up to speak with him but you figured you had caused him enough trouble for the day. So instead, you headed into the basement by yourself.

You gripped the railings on the stairs with immense force, hoping not to fall over. Your body felt sore which you could only attribute to your accident earlier. You stopped at the bottom of the steps, peering around when you were met with a pained cry from the Niffler cage. You ran up to it to see Molly the pregnant Niffler whimpering in pain as another Niffler nudged at her stomach.

“Oh, Merlin,” you muttered, “you’re about to give birth, aren’t you, Molls?”

As if Molly could understand you, she let out a loud squeal.

“Oh, Merlin. Time to put that Hogwarts education to the test, I suppose,” you mumbled to yourself to give yourself the confidence you needed to deliver the little Niffler babies.

You snatched the pair of gloves from beside the cage and tugged them on tight, casting a spell so they’d perfectly fit your hands. You unlocked the cage to take Molly out, moving her into a small tray with bedding in it.

“Okay, Molls, you got this. Mum’s here.” 

You rubbed her stomach in small circles, feeling the baby— no, babies— squirm around. One thing was for certain: you needed Newt.

“Mr. Scamander!” you called upstairs. No response. “Mr. Scamander, please!” Still no response. “Merlin’s beard, Newt! Get down here!”

No later did you hear heavy steps growing louder behind you. “(Y/N)! You’re awake! Are you okay-”

You didn’t have time for his rambling. You sent a panicked look over your shoulder, meeting his wide eyes. “Molly is giving birth. Triplets.”

“Merlin’s beard.” He ran a hand through his hair, ruffling it in contemplation. “How’s she doing?”

“She’s a fighter, I’ll tell you that.”

“What can I do to help you?”

You whipped around. Apparently you’d be delivering the babies. You took in a sobering breath, steadying your shaking hands.

“Something shiny, some snacks, and a towel.”

Newt scrambled around the workspace as fast as he could, dropping the items in front of you. You laid out the towel and snacks beside Molly, massaging her stomach as you felt the babies start to move more than before. It was time. You pulled the shiny object out from behind your back, dangling it above Molly’s head as she delivered three adorable Niffler babies, so distracted by the object that she didn’t realize that she’d given birth. You escorted the babies onto the towel, allowing them to nibble on the snacks as you stripped the gloves off.

“Merlin,” you murmured to yourself in astonishment, “Merlin! I just…”

Newt’s smile was so big it nearly split his face. He nodded, sharing in your excitement. “You did,” he assured.

Completely forgetting about professionalism, you hopped onto him, engulfing him in a tight hug while you laughed melodically. Newt’s thin frame stiffened in your grasp. You gasped, jumping off of him with your hands up.

“I am so sorry, Mr. Scamander. No hugs, I forgot.”

Newt simply stared at you, searching your eyes. You gulped as he took a step closer to you.

“Theseus tends to believe that a hug is just as useful as an apology, so I don’t quite like hugs for that reason.”

“Oh.” You didn’t know what else to say.

The corner of Newt’s lips twitched upwards, looking around before meeting your gaze. He took another step forward before taking you in his arms. You began to wonder if he could feel your heart pounding in your chest, whether he assumed it was from adrenaline or knew that it was him that drove you mad.

“You should be proud of yourself!” He pulled away to look in your eyes, his arms slinking downwards to rest around your waist. “And, please, (Y/N), no more with the Mr. Scamander business. I’d like to think that we’re well acquainted enough for you to call me Newt.”

If professionalism was damned before, it was most certainly damned now.

Merlin, he was so close, you couldn’t help yourself. With your arms wrapped behind his neck, you pulled him into a long overdue kiss. Your heart thundered in your chest but you were too focused on the way his lips melted perfectly into yours, the way he kissed you back with such hunger and vigor that you had to hold onto him tighter, the way you began to smile as he attempted to figure out where to place his hands. 

You pulled away a moment later, Newt following your lips with unpleasant surprise. All you could do was let out a soft chuckle as your cheeks turned pink.

A teasing grin grew on his lips that had your stomach flipping. “I’m positive now that we’re well acquainted enough for you to call me Newt.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

general taglist:  @pandaxnienke @lunalovecroft

#newt scamander #newt scamander x you #newt scamander x y/n #newt scamander x reader #newt scamander fanfiction #newton artemis fido scamander #theseus scamander #magizoologist #magizoologist reader #harry potter #harry potter fanfiction #newt scamander imagine #newt scamander oneshot #tw injury #newt scamander fluff #fantastic beasts and where to find them #fantastic beasts: the crimes of grindelwald

[boldbrash-fandertrash]

Ignore me, unless I’m right in which case I fucking called it

So I was rewatching the episode for the fourth time and one I realized that Remus is much much smarter than we give him credit for and two I can generally predict how the rest of the story is gonna go.

We’re gonna have another aside video with Patton and Janus before the big season finale, and that aside is going to be one of the most important videos to the general progression of the plot.

I’m sure you’ve noticed the pattern so far, two sides who diametrically oppose each other being forced to work together on a problem they vastly disagree about, usually turning the small issue into something much messier than it ever would be and them learning something about themselves in the process.

Each pairing exists to point out to the viewer exactly what issues exist with each side that need some form of resolving, and the big unifying theme amongst them is “you’re not listening to me”. Roman and Virgil dragging Thomas across the cafeteria in favor of or agains him talking to Nico, Logan and Remus deliberately ignoring and working to undo the others work in an attempt to break Thomas out of the depressive funk he found himself in. Nobody is working together here. The only side to even remotely cooperate with the group was Virgil body checking Thomas into Nico, and it took him and Roman bullying each other and Thomas for an entire video to even get to that point.

Watching Logan and Remus interact, one, brought me immense joy and I will be chasing that high for weeks to come, and two, after an ounce of critical thinking was frankly painful to watch. Any critiques Logan offered to Remus were immediately discarded with absurdity and any critiques Remus offered to Logan were discounted as absurd.

During the obvious scene at the end with the Eyes™️, Logan claimed he wasn’t pretending Remus didn’t exist, but honestly, he kinda was.

The Dunce Cap Scene really accentuates this point. Logan pulls a holier than thou, why won’t you learn I’m always right, bullshit passive aggressive remark, Remus does his dramatic repenting student shtick, starts singing directly into Logan’s ear, and makes a kink joke. Literally the words Remus sings are “can’t fix this guy, all by yourself”. Remus is saying this inches from Logan’s personal face and even still the logical side ignores him outright, because of all the fluff around the message. Hell, in Remus’s introduction video, Logan likens him to a screaming baby on a plane, essentially saying “well eventually he’ll stop screaming so just bear with it for a while and you’ll be fine”. He’s ignoring Remus outright due to a preconceived notion and missing out on valuable information because of it.

The dunce cap scene indirectly calls back to learning new things about ourselves, where Logan is completely unreceptive to the puppet bit because of its perceived absurdity and absolutely refuses to acknowledge any potential the medium might have for learning until he physically cannot anymore.

Remus is capable of, and does often, make valid points and offers genuine critiques of shit happening in their lives. In Forbidden Fruit, almost every single line harkens back to some idea the other sides had been trying, and failing, to communicate to Thomas. “Good and bad is all made up nonsense”, “if you shared those musings with your friends i doubt they would forgive you”, “why deny yourself knowledge, say, knowledge of yourself” “people don’t like me much, Thomas, but that only just cause I’m honest”, “these sorts of things are only thought in the mind of a man who’s soul is truly rotten.”

Despite all of this, he is ignored outright because of his medium. Just like Logan is ignored due to his monotone cadence and large volume of content, just like Roman is due to his flair for the dramatic and artistic display of ideas, just like Patton is due to his playful and childlike nature, just like Janus is due to his perceived role as the Villain, just like Virgil /was/ due to his perceived role as the villain.

They all have become accustomed to being stepped on by the other sides because of who they are and how they communicate, and have in turn learned some less than ideal methods of being heard again. Logan yells and gets passive aggressive, Remus ups the fear factor for everyone around him, Roman shuts down anyone who tries to talk through bullying and raising his voice, Patton manipulates the others into feeling guilt and covers it up with a smile, Virgil whips out the tempest tongue and incites fear in Thomas, and Janus physically silences anyone in his way.

And here’s why I say the next asides episode is going to be the most important one developmentally. Patton and Janus are going to be forced to work together. Patton, who is in the midst of an identity crisis, and willing to listen to any new ideas provided they offer a valid solution to the shit he’s found himself in, and Janus, who knows a lot more than he’s willing to let on, who concerns himself exclusively with Thomas’s self preservation, and loves to talk when given the opportunity. Janus is gonna have a thing or two to say to Patton when they’re inevitably faced with their moral dilemma, and Patton is going to be in just the right mindset that he’s willing to listen. And Janus is going to end up being right, and the small issue they’re facing will be resolved, which will therefore strengthen Patton’s trust, and his openness to changing for the better.

Patton is goofy, and childish, and kinda ditzy sometimes, and because of that we as a fandom tend to overlook any of his moments that are anything but that, but we are not giving this man enough credit. When Patton sets his heart on something, he throws his whole self into it, and is willing to stand up for his beliefs in the face of extreme opposition, and would gladly do anything in his power to defend his family. Once Patton decides that he’s willing to grow, and if he believes that this growth will help put his family back together, nothing can stop him, and that will be absolutely crucial for the growth of all the other sides around him.

Whatever him and Janus discuss during their aside will absolutely give Patton the information he needs to help stitch together the rift between everyone.

I predict the next official Sanders Sides video is going to be the longest one yet, possibly over an hour long, because there’s a LOT of work that is going to need to be done, and Everyone is going to be in it. The big issue of “you’re not listening to me” won’t be resolved, but it will be acknowledged in a serious light by everyone. We won’t be getting any appearances from the Orange Side I don’t think, that would end up just complicating matters even more when each character is already incredibly shaky in their own identity.

Something less than ideal is gonna happen between Thomas and Nico, he’s gonna summon the initial three to deal with the matter but the other lads are gonna worm their way into the discussion, everyone’s gonna start screaming at each other, and Pattons gonna do something that stuns everyone else into silence (I’m guessing he’ll start crying, considering the start of season two was all about him repressing negative emotions and what better way to show character growth than to sob openly on camera).

Once everyone just fucking stops for ten seconds that’s when the apologies start. None of the sides are ever the first to apologize, we’ve seen that time and time again. Their desire to be in the right as well as their pride will always get in the way, however if someone starts the apology train everyone will eventually follow suit. We see that in Alone On Valentines Day, My Negative Thinking, Growing Up, Accepting Anxiety, Fitting In, Moving On, actually in pretty much every video where an apology actually takes place, once one person apologizes the other will immediately follow suit.

Patton is gonna be a goddamn mess, he’s gonna apologize to everyone in the room for anything he thinks he may have done to wrong them, and that’s gonna be what gets everyone to acknowledge all the shit they’ve put each other through, and the others are going to jump between trying to console him and trying to apologize to each other. They’re going to come to the unified decision that they need to work together more on future issues, the group is all going to offer up a solution and decide together on a remedy to whatever happened together between Thomas and Nico, and that will be that. Season three will be about them finding the balance between stepping on toes and being stepped over, while also working out how the orange side fits into everything.

Thus marking the end of my rant.

I started writing this at 2 and it’s now 4. I have to be up in three hours. I have an essay due at 3pm tomorrow that I haven’t started, but instead I typed up all this bullshit. I hope any of this made any sense, and I hope this is a suitable replacement for my emotions essay that’s completely untouched because chances are this is what I’m presenting to my therapist tomorrow. Wish me luck.

#sorry for no page break I’m on mobile #I’ll be fixing that in the morning after some well deserved rest #thomas sanders #sanders sides #ts sanders sides #ts spoilers #ts patton #ts Logan #ts roman #ts Virgil #ts Janus #ts Remus #ts theory