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crystalbahamut · 3 years

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pounds of flesh

FFXIV Write Day 3: Scale

Summary: The Exarch is familiar with tactics used to dodge those most dangerous of creatures (Healers) and offers you his assistance.

Author’s note: Am currently ignoring the fact that there’s no faucet in the Pendant room (that I could find) because that seems inconvenient for such an otherwise nice kitchenette. The prompt started me off with the idea of scaling a staircase feeling on par with scaling a mountain but it sort of veered off from there. I really loved this prompt though; there are so many ways to take it.

Warnings: Shadowbringers spoilers, unspecified WoL, non-healing WoL (kind of), 2nd person pov, WoL/Exarch, overworking oneself on purpose

Words: 1,876

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You might have gotten a little bit…carried away today. Triffids, hoptraps, wargs, and more; you had carried out a number of quests to reduce the threats posed to those traveling the roads of Lakeland, and that wasn’t even counting the morning spent in Rak’tika helping out the Night’s Blessed with some of their chores. You don’t mind– it’s nice to be helpful, good, necessary even– but now that everything aches and some of the cuts have opened up again you wonder if maybe you took it a little far. All you wanted to do was make sure you slept well tonight, but even taking the intercity aetheryte was too much to ask of your energy stores. You have scaled cliffs and mountains, but right now the thought of scaling the steps to your room is making you want to find a place the guards don’t patrol and just lay on the ground. It’s a good thing the manager is on break right now, or you’d have to field some uncomfortable questions about why you’re just standing around, staring.

“There you are.”

You flinch. Mayhap the manager would have been the lesser of two well-intentioned evils, considering the Exarch sounds…not exactly smug, but knowing. You stand taller and clear your throat. “Evening Exarch,” you say. “Did you need something?”

“Not precisely, though I am wont to worry when you stay out so late,” he says and steps towards you.

That…you almost turn around for that. He worries? You shake your head; of course he worries, you are (supposedly) the one hope for the world’s survival. ‘Tis nothing more than prudence. “Nothing to worry about; I’m quite fine.”

“Oh?” You can hear the smile in his voice as he comes around your side, and you quickly look away. “Should I be flattered that you seem to be emulating me?”

You scowl and pull the head covering down farther. How in the world does he see anything like this? “You didn’t invent hooded robes, Exarch.”

“No, I did not,” he chuckles. “However I have not seen you wearing one, until now.”

“Mayhap I simply felt like it.”

“Mayhap you did,” he says. “Or mayhap you are trying to hide a head wound incurred when a lake viper used its tail to swat you into a tree.”

You don’t have a good comeback for that. “You know, nobody likes a know it all,” you grumble and try to sink into your shoulders. One of these days you are going to break that damn magic mirror of his.

“My dear warrior,” he sighs as though indulging you in a whim. “What would it take for you to accompany me to Spagyrics?”

You turn to give him a look of incredulity and then realize that probably isn’t very effective. However he sighs and says, “I see.”

“Do you?” you ask. “I can’t see anything like this; I don’t know how you do it.”

He doesn’t take the bait, unfortunately. “Would you allow me to see to your wounds then?”

“I can heal myself.”

“If you could, you already would have.” He puts a gentle hand on your shoulder, though right on a sore spot that twinges, and you try not to wince. “I would just like some assurance you are well enough. If you are uncomfortable with me, I can fetch one of the Scio-”

“You,” you say immediately and take his arm. You pull back the hood to see with your good eye and find his mouth partly opened in surprise. “I trust you.” Also, if Alisaie or Y’shtola see you in this state, they will put you out of their misery. But you meant what you said. You do trust him.

“Thank you,” he says earnestly, as though he’s honored, and the wondrous tone of his voice is enough to give you the energy to make it up the stairs and to your room.

“I don’t think I’ve seen someone manage to limp so successfully on both legs before,” the Exarch says and goes to the cupboard where the first aid kit lives.

“It’s not that bad– though I’m going to warn you that I’m a bit dirty so it probably looks worse than it is,” you say and pull off the robe. Gently, as everywhere it touches seems to throb with new pain, or maybe the fatigue is getting to you. While he’s turned around you quickly (ow) change into some shorts and a tank top and sit on the bench by the door.

When he turns around the Exarch actually stops in his tracks. “Wicked white,” he says and sighs. “If Chessamile saw you like this…”

“The Warrior of Darkness would be ended by the wrath of a bypassed healer.” You put a finger to your lips. “But surely now my trusty accomplice will help me.”

He smiles again, though he looks like he’s trying to wrangle it back into a disapproving frown. “Extortion now, is it?” he asks as he starts filling a bowl with water.

“I think your offer belied the feelings of one used to dodging chirurgeons,” you say and give yourself a quick check to make sure anything that needs treating is visible. Thankfully your torso just endured some bruising; it’s your limbs that took the brunt of everything. And your head, you’re reminded as you try to gingerly scrape off some of the dried blood and accidentally reopen the wound, making fresh blood course back down over your eye. “Oops.”

“Perhaps I have, but even my own injuries pale in comparison. I can see why any healer would have their hands full with you,” the Exarch says as he comes over to take your hand, shove some cloth in it, and force you press it hard against the cut. “Pray just hold that there for now.”

Now that you’re able to relax and do nothing, exhaustion courses through your bones and you do as he bids if only because anything else is far too much effort. You struggle to stay awake as he pulls over a chair, the medical kit, and the bowl of water, and blink yourself back to consciousness when he sits down.

“Are there any sprains?” he asks as he looks over the injuries.

“My right ankle feels a bit funny, and I think I pulled something in my left thigh, but mostly I’m just scraped up,” you say. He dabs some of the scratches with the clean water and it’s uncomfortable but not unbearable. You almost start to fall asleep with his gentle ministrations.

But when he presses a new, slightly damp cloth to those scrapes, the stinging wakes you right up. “Thal’s balls!” you hiss and resist the urge to rip his hands away. On the plus side, your head has stopped bleeding again; now it only throbs as you set the bloodied cloth aside and try to quell the nausea caused by pain.

“I apologize,” he murmurs and dabs it more gently. It’s not a good feeling but you can bear it a little easier now that you know it’s coming. He clears his throat. “What were you working on so frenetically today?”

“Huh?” You think about the question. “Oh– nothing much really; I was just taking a few jobs here and there.”

“Are you in need of gil?” he asks and lifts his head. Presumably to look at you. “Surely some of these jobs could have waited another day?”

You take the washcloth and wring it out before you start cleaning your other leg, and then your arms. It will help him get through this easier. And it also makes it so you don’t have to look at him now. “They could have. But I wanted them done.”

“Because you plan to take the day for yourself tomorrow?”

“Perhaps,” you say. “Perhaps this is how I want to spend my days.”

“Working yourself to the bone when you already do so much?” He finishes wrapping your ankle and grabs your hand. He says your name gently, without reproach. “What is wrong?”

“Nothing is wrong.” You shut your eyes. “Sometimes…I just want to sleep. That’s all.”

“I see,” he says and doesn’t press for more. If this were Alphinaud you wouldn’t be able to escape without some awkward attempt at platitudes on his end, or Urianger, who would try to make suggestions while also nearly putting you to sleep with one of his lectures, but the Exarch keeps tending to you with hands that are gentler than they have any right to be.

When he starts treating the cut on your head it’s a good excuse to close your eyes, but even without some supposed excuse you don’t think you would do any differently. He’s so…gentle. Healers, even the kindest ones, are all business– as they should be, as they’re always the ones that have to make sure everyone is fighting fit for the next catastrophe. But the Exarch touches you so tenderly, like he wants to put you back together piece by piece, with soothing motions and soft brushes of skin, and crystal that’s warmer than it looks, and it’s all you can do to keep from falling apart in his capable hands.

“One moment, my warrior,” he murmurs and you realize you’re halfway to sleep by the fact that you can’t seem to open your eyes when he leaves, but it doesn’t bother you overmuch. When he comes back and nudges you to stand, you manage to do so, but you still don’t open your eyes even as you shuffle over to the bed with his help. You sit on sheets– the cover has been pulled back already, you realize with delayed thoughts as the Exarch tucks you in. You’ll be mortified in the morning, but for now…

“I pray sweet dreams find you tonight, my warrior.”

You think you imagine the gentle kiss placed upon your brow, but in case this isn’t some lovely dream and he is still around to hear it, you whisper, “Thank you.”

The next morning finds you sore and a little stiff, but you can recognize that you’re better off than you would have been otherwise.

You also find a collection of medicinal-looking mixtures all lined up in bottles in a neat little row on the table. And, when you go over to investigate, a note from the Exarch.

My dear warrior,

Though it is not a happy thought, there are many in Norvrandt who share your desire for uninterrupted sleep, as well as your difficulties attaining it. These elixirs each have their own cards describing ingredients and dosage; if you find one to your liking, it would be a simple matter of requesting more, and I should be delighted to do so.

Also, if you ever find the climb to your room to be too arduous, perhaps the smaller staircase leading to the tower itself would be less of a strain. Once inside, there are easier ways to get around that I would be happy to show you.

With fondest wishes,

The Crystal Exarch

You smile and fold the letter back up. An easier way to the Ocular, hm? You’d like to see that. Perhaps now is a good time to stretch your legs and make the climb.

#ffxivwrite2021 #ffxivwrite #ffxivwrite prompt 3: scale #ffxiv fanfic #shadowbringers spoilers #the crystal exarch #warrior of light #wolexarch #wol x exarch

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borathae · 3 years

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Hello! I just wanted to let this out 😔

I am a writer too and I frequently write sub bts fics but I always feel that my writing comes out the same, same verbs, emotions, adjectives and there is literally nothing to distinguish one smut fic from another.

I had been going through multiple sites so that I could figure out what my writing is lacking exactly and how can I rectify it. And it ALL says, focus on 'the scene' and don't just word it out.

And I try to do that but it never works and I'm really desperate for some weird sort of bulb to go off and enlighten me about how I can improve but it hasn't been working out at all 😭

As you frequently write sub!bts, could you help nd figure out what I can do to help me come out of my slump? 😞

Okay so first of all I feel honoured that you come to me for advice omfg thank you so much anonie! I try to give you good advice, but I can't promise anyTHING fdsh

Also putting this under read more because I wouldn't shut up.

1. Don't try to follow what those "helpful sides for writers" say

You put so much pressure on yourself when you try to follow the pattern / writing style those sides try to dictate you. There is no wrong or right way to write (and also no wrong or right writing style) and what works for someone doesn't just magically work for another. Listen, there was a time where I also heavily relied on what those sides said because I thought this is the only way to become a good writer and guess what? It wasn't, on the contrary. I gave myself massive writer's block because whenever I felt my story get off the default path I stopped myself and forced myself to go back to the style the side told me to us. It doesn't work, it just creates blockage and insecurities. Trust me, your own style of writing is perfect the way it is!

2. Don't try to force it

This is something I myself struggle with LMAO. But sometimes your brain just doesn't want to create and that's alright. The worst thing you can do if that happens, is force it to come up with a good plot. This will never work and will make you hate the story (and maybe even give up on it) Just relax and do something else. AND I AM TALKING SOMETHING ELSE, don't you dare open another word document on that day. Do something that has nothing to do with writing and yes this counts for reading too. If you read it can happen that your brain automatically goes into "I need to compare this piece of literature to my own works" and it will only block itself more.

3. Don't be afraid to use words

Okay now I need to explain what I mean with that. When I started writing smut I was afraid to use smut vocabulary (eg: leaking cock, throbbing pussy etc. you get the gist) because I was worried that it would sound way too dirty or filthy. I tried to censore myself and as a result my first smut scenes are very hard for me to read. So don't be afraid to use descriptive smut vocabulary and also don't be afraid to mention the characters genitals. It sounds way better when a character "clasps their lover's cock tightly and jerks it off desperately" than when a character "touches their lover's thing and does dirty things to it". I think you know what I want to tell you. Just remember. The point of smut is to be hot and filthy & a turn on, it is literal written out porn and censoring the played-with bodyparts and experienced sensations will make it sound far cringier than just including a nice lil "throbbing cock" every now and then. Which also brings me to my next point.

4. Be aware of what kind of scene & setting you want to write and try to adjust your vocabulary to it

Now, while you shouldn't be afraid of using smutty vocabulary it is also important to be aware of what kind of smut scene you want to write. Maybe that is just me being a perfectionist, but I think that the use of certain vocabulary can really ruin a smut scene for me if I feel like it doesn't really fit the mood. Now let's give you an example. Let's say you want to write a romantic love making scene between two lovers who are just whipped for each other, it is pretty vanilla and not very kinky. Using words such as "creamy, tight cunt" or "dirty little fuckhole" can ruin the mood of such scenes and make it sound very weird. Instead choose vocabulary that goes with the mood, that helps carry the feelings and sensations the characters experience and that makes the scene a pleasant read. This of course goes the the other way around too. If you want to write a complete batshit crazy kink scene, don't be afraid to use bolt, filthy vocabulary.

5. Don't be afraid to describe

I am talking how the characters move, how their expressions change, how their skin and muscles react to certain stimuli, how their voices change during a scene, what kind of bodily fluids are involved and what sensations they add to the scene. But also what are they smelling, how do the sheets / surfaces they lay on/ sit on etc. feel on their skin, what do they taste, what kind of sounds and noises do they hear, how does the lighting situation look like, in what kind of weather or during what time of day are they having sex.

And of course if they are still clothed, how do their clothes look like and do they have an effect on their partner, how does the fabric feel on the skin, how does the partner undress them, or how do certain clothes feel when they keep it on during sex and the fabrics rub against sensitive spots.

We humans are tactile creatures and describing what and how the characters feel and experience in a scene can help the reader dive way deeper into the scene. You know if a character "feels goosebumps run along their spine" people can relate that sensation to their own and feel way more connected with the scene.

6. Dialogues are important

Maybe that is just my personal preference again, but I don’t enjoy smut scenes that include minimal to no dialogue. Sex goes hand in hand with communication (that also includes always asking for consent if one character does something new to the other). If it is just a simple “that’s the spot right there” or a quick “keep going, keep going please” or the characters checking up on each other “you still good? wanna take a break?”, “how’s that? does it hurt?”, but including communication in your smut scenes not only gives it a way more realistic feel to it but also helps the readers feel more comfortable. Now let’s say you want to write a kinky BDSM scene where pain is consensually involved, only writing out what the characters are doing to each other & what kind of pain they experience can make the reader feel uncomfortable. You know, if they have the read the fifth sentence about how much the character’s ass hurts and how they can barely handle it, they can start to get worrried & maybe even wonder if it was still consensual. Including a quick “is that good?” and a “yes, so good. hurts so good.” can give the readers the reassurance they need and also add a sexy little bonus too, because what bigger turn on is there than to know that the characters are crazily into the sex.

7. Just be batshit horny

lmaooao listen, I write my best smut scenes when I haven't jerked off in like three weeks and my brain runs on nothing more than getting off HAHAHAH listen this is such a stupid advice, but it seriously works for me. When I am just completely derailed and nothing but horny all those little mental restraints just shut off and allow my brain to come up with the best smut scenes.

So, those are my seven tips I have for you jafjsjd I hope they are somewhat helpful to you my love! Also rememeber that your writing style is perfect they way it is and it is not a bad trait to want to improve it, but don’t try to force it to be the replica of someone else’s style. You are perfectly amazing with your own style! 💜

#asks #anon #writing advice

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clean-bands-dirty-stories · 4 years

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Let’s Play ~ K.O. (part 1)

A/n: So @httpnxtt mentioned Kyle and a gun kink and I kind of made it my own because she’s nice and let me lol. Big thanks to @sunlight-moonrise and @gretaamyk for beta reading!. Also huge thanks to @april-14-blog for the encouragement to actually write this! Without all of these people, this fic wouldn’t have happened, and even if no one else reads it but them and myself, I’m glad I got it written and published :)

Warnings: violence, death (not any major characters), smut (male on male): fingering, oral, hand jobs, gun play kink, penetration.

Word Count: 5700+

MASTERLIST

Hands were a hard thing to fight off a super strong creature of death with, but it was either that or Y/n was eaten alive, so there wasn't much of an option.

He'd been doing great with his gun until he'd been tackled from behind. His gun had flown off somewhere- he was just lucky that he'd been able to squirm around so he could fight back at all. He thought if he killed enough time then he might be able to get to his gun, but he couldn't even look away without risking those dirty, rotting teeth sinking into his throat and ripping his vocal chords out. Not a great ending to this story if he was being honest. Not the road he wanted to go down.

A gun show went off and Y/n flinched, eyes wide. But he felt no pain and after only a second's pause, the thing above him that used to be the mailman went limp. He shoved it off of him, rolling to his feet. He stared at the creature, waiting for it to move. But then he saw the bullet wound and the blood coming from the side of its head and he relaxed, standing to his feet fully and searching out his rescuer.

There, only a few feet away actually, was a tall man with brown hair and matching eyes. Y/n's gun was in his hands. Hands that were shaking now. His dark eyes had widened in a look of panic Y/n was getting used to. The two men looked at each other for a long moment. "I killed him," the brunette finally whispered.

"Yes," Y/n confirmed. He put his hands up to show he meant no harm and began to come closer and closer. His goal was half to calm the man down and half to get his gun back. The worst thing that could happen is the man would panic and shoot him, and Y/n couldn't take chances with a bullet wound.

The man took a deep breath and finally lowered the gun from where he'd had it pointed to shoot the now-dead thing that had been trying to kill Y/n. "I did a good thing." It was a struggle for him it seemed. He was trying to convince himself.

Well, that one was easy for Y/n. He was a man of truth, but he didn't even have to tiptoe around this one. "A very good thing," he agreed earnestly. "You saved my life." He began to extend his hands toward the other man's, reaching for his gun just as slowly as he'd approached. "Can I have my gun back please?"

A small nod signaled the man's release of the object, and he even dropped the hand that was attached to the arm furthest from Y/n so he could stretch it out to him. "Here, sorry."

Taking it, Y/n relaxed. He felt safer with a way to defend himself if the need arose. "No need to be sorry. Like I said, you saved my life." It was then the man looked at Y/n, tearing his eyes away from the body he was still staring at. When they looked at each other now, Y/n swore that his heart died in his chest.

Perhaps this was the single worst time to notice this, but Y/n couldn't help it as his gaze took in every inch of the man. He was incredibly attractive, simply put. Even with death all around them, who could simply not see such a pretty face? Y/n was a simple man, and the person that had just saved his life was hot.

He looked away, putting his gun at the back of his belt and clearing his throat. As much as admiring was no sin, getting distracted was. He had to think with the right head- there were more important things. But holy shit if there hadn't been... Y/n might have had to ask this guy on a date.

"Well, thanks." Y/n spoke the words to get out of his head. "Officially." He hesitated as the man nodded. "What's your name?"

"Kyle." His voice was suddenly hoarse and it made him even sexier. Goddamnit!

"Nice to meet you, Kyle." Y/n noticed the look the man was giving him and realized he was waiting for a return in names. "I'm Y/n."

Kyle nodded again. Then he pulled a shiny silver gun out of the holster at his side Y/n was just noticing. His lips must have been really distracting for him to just not pick up on the fact that Kyle was armed... They actually had been that distracting. They made Y/n wonder if Kyle was a good kisser.

FOCUS!

"I'm part of the resistance." His grin made him look like a total dork. It was adorable, and Y/n fought not to smile at it. "We have serious firepower, and we're clearing blocks to make sure everyone at the base is safe. Want to join us?"

It was Y/n's turn to nod. "I'd definitely like some purpose in this mass chaos. Where are you headed to next?"

Kyle grinned. "Think you can keep up?"

Y/n cocked an eyebrow. "Do you think YOU can keep up? You look a little too pretty to actually know how to wield that thing."

Y/n's complement seemed to boost Kyle's confidence. "I knew it well enough to shoot that zombie without hitting you."

A soft chuckle resounded through Y/n's chest. "You have me there. Lead the way, Hot Shot."

The pun made Kyle snort. Shaking his head, he turned to look out instead of at Y/n. "Keep up." As he moved forward, Y/n couldn't help but check out the view from the back. "And Keep your eyes on the zombies," Kyle added sharply, though he didn't seem to be shutting Y/n down as much as he was making sure his back was being watched.

"Yes sir," Y/n joked. Kyle didn't respond to that.

Probably because he was distracted by another zombie ducking into sight and turned its hungry eyes on the pair of men. Thankfully, he really was a great shot and he totally nailed the thing. He lowered his gun, smirking as he looked back at Y/n. "I'm already two ahead of you. You sure you can keep up?"

Y/n raised his eyebrows. "Oh, that's how you want to play huh?" Kyle shrugged and Y/n rolled his eyes, searching for his next target. As Kyle went to say something snarky, Y/n found the next dead body. He took aim and shot it stiff before Kyle could even voice his snarky shot. "Careful Kyle. You've unleashed the beast."

Kyle scoffed. "Okay, Mr. Sexy and Smooth. If we're making this competition, what does the winner get?" He shot another zombie, making Y/n jump. "Other than staying alive, I suppose?"

A soft sigh through pursed lips, as Y/n tried to decide. "What do you want?"

Kyle's eyes suddenly ran down Y/n's body and the man shivered under such a look. Before he could respond though there was a scream and both men were rushing to see what had caused it.

There was a small girl pinning a slightly older boy. The boy had a bar in her mouth and that was why he was faring better than Y/n had been earlier. Her nails were digging into his arms though as if she was about to tear his flesh off by hand if she had to. Y/n had to remind himself of two things. First of all, that wasn't a girl anymore. Second, it absolutely would rip his flesh off his bones with its hands if it felt it had to. He went to aim when Kyle helped next to him.

It seemed that between the gunshots and the boy screaming, the noise had drawn a crowd. There were four zombies heading for Y/n and another rolling around with Kyle who was trying to both keep hold of his gun and also get it to the thing's head so he could shoot it. Y/n forced himself to not panic and instead prioritize. He had to keep himself safe first. The boy and Kyle would be much worse off without Y/n there to offer an extra pair of hands wielding a gun.

He took out two before he heard the crunching of the pipe and the gargling of the thing ripping whatever must remain from the boy, going for him again. He'd run out of time, but thankfully before he could switch his attention there was a shot that he found out meant Kyle had taken down his attacker when Y/n looked over to check in on the other man. Kyle got to his knees and turned the barrel of his weapon to the girl, pulling the trigger without hesitation. She fell and the boy collapsed in relief, her fingers falling out of his mouth just as she was attempting to rip his jaw open.

Y/n turned back his attention to the two zombies headed to him to see there were now six.

"Get up!" Kyle yelled at the boy. The kid responded thank god, scrambling between the two armed men who moved to surround Gina s best they could with just two of them. With him between them, they both looked around at the sudden crowd that had come to play. "I have four in front of me and three more to the left." Y/n looked and realized they had less a crowd and more a mob. This wasn't going to go well if they didn't hurry.

"Perfect opportunity to raise those numbers," Y/n mumbled with ease, like he was talking about the cloudy sky or what was on TV. As if this was normal. Kyle chuckled and they both aimed, counting out loud as they took out one zombie after another.

When the street was finally cleared, the silence was deafening. Kyle moves closer to Y/n, the boy having even less room to move around now. "We need to get out of here, in case more show up. At least from the middle of the road. If we just stand here they might overwhelm us, but if we hide and wait for them to come along then-"

"Sounds great and all," Y/n interrupted. Kyle jerked as he was cut off. "But I doubt either of us have many more bullets, and we have a child to get back to safety if you recall."

Kyle hesitated, jaw working as he looked between the kid and the street. Finally, he sighed, shoulders dropping. "Fine. Lead the way."

Y/n felt himself smile at how cute Kyle looked when he was all down trodden like that. It didn't distract him from keeping them all safe and well guided as they made their way back to 'base' as Kyle called it, it did keep him motivated. They returned with only one more dropped body. "What's your name?" Y/n asked as the trio got settled so the two men could stock up on supplies.

"Tyler," the kid responded.

"Tyler," Y/n greeted. "This is Kyle and I'm Y/n. It's safe here. We're part of a group of people who are going to keep clearing the streets so nothing will get to you guys okay?" Tyler nodded.

Just then, one of the much older adults came into the room. "I think we're actually going to call it a night fellas. The sun is going down and that messes with vision. Makes it much easier for them to take us over. They don't have to worry about getting hurt."

"Yes sir," Y/n said in more of a joking way. His words seemed to excite Kyle though, who was getting way too into the spy day dream he was working with. It made Y/n chortle a bit.

When the older man and the boy left the pair of young adults alone, Kyle sidled up to Y/n. "How many did you get? I got fifteen." He said the number with pride and confidence. Y/n already knew this. He had stopped counting out loud, but Kyle hadn't. Too bad his surety that Y/n couldn't beat him was about to be torn down.

"Eighteen."

Kyle deflated even more and, as if stealing that air, Y/n puffed up in pride. Kyle hesitated though before slowly realizing, "What's... your prize?" He seemed half eager and half trepid. It fueled Y/n for some reason, having enough power to make a man like Kyle some levels of both nervous and excited.

Y/n hummed, moving closer very slowly. He moved behind Kyle, Y/n's breath falling on the other man's neck. Kyle shivered. Now on the other side of Kyle, Y/n leaned over and pressed his lips quickly to Kyle's cheek. "I think that's all I'll claim for now." Then he turned away and began to leave. He heard the shuddering breath of a frustrated man behind him but he didn't give Kyle the satisfaction of him looking back to see exactly what state he was in. Even though he was rather curious... for now, he was having too much fun messing with the poor man.

Kyle, on the other hand, was NOT having fun. Not at all.

Y/n and Kyle went on six runs together over the next three days. They slept at night and then sometimes had to get people back to safety, or stock back up on ammo or food, which brought them back temporarily. Every time they headed back to base, they told the other their tallies and every single time Y/n had won. Kyle has even made them begin to count out loud to prove that Y/n wasn't making a number up. He'd had Y/n say his number before him so Y/n couldn't just say some number above what Kyle said. No matter what he did or how hard he tried, Y/n was better at this than him.

It seemed a bit of a reprieve for him when Y/n tripped one day, twisting his ankle. Unfortunately, it had almost gotten him killed. Focused on the zombies approaching him, Y/n hadn’t watched where he was going and had tripped over a stone that had looked smaller in his peripheral vision. When he’d fallen, he’d dropped his gun and the scramble that he’d gone through to get it back had almost cost too much time. He’d had two zombies on top of him and had by luck alone managed to wiggle into a position to shoot both of them as their faces eagerly lowered to begin to take him chunks at a time. He’d stopped one of them with its teeth in his shoulder. THAT was how close it had been.

Now it was over though, and they were headed back. Kyle seemed irritated though.

"At least now you'll get a few days of practice," Y/n attempted to joke as they traveled as quickly as possible before they'd find themselves in a situation that required them to stop and face down any zombies that might head their way. Thus far a few had been pulled down just by Y/n nabbing them as they passed, but if they got any closer than the two men couldn't chance Y/n missing one, and Kyle helping meant he had to have his hands free, which meant he couldn't help Y/n walk which means they'd basically he stuck in place unless Y/n started crawling. And that would be an even worse plan, because Kyle might trip over Y/n if he couldn't see him. He had to keep his eyes on the zombies, he needed to know where Y/n was so his worry didn't distract him from taking threats out.

Thankfully they hadn't gotten to that point yet.

When the house came into sight, both men relaxed. Kyle helped Y/n inside and to a couch where they both collapsed, tired from the journey. "Nice job out there," Y/n gasped around his heavy breathing.

Kyle chuckled. "Don't patronize me. I know you got way more than me today because I dragged you here."

Y/n rolled his eyes. “You know Kyle, I’m not ALWAYS an ass. You probably saved my life today, and even if not you definitely put yours at risk to make mine easier.” He reached out, placing his hand on top of Kyle’s. “Thank you.”

That only seemed to irritate Kyle more, though that was apparent more from the man’s facial expression, as he didn’t move his hand from Y/n’s. “Can’t you just be a little less-” He cut off, shaking his head and standing to storm away, leaving Y/n wondering what he’d done wrong.

The next week passed a lot like that as Y/n stayed home and healed and helped take care of other people as well. He probably could have gone out sooner if he was pushing it, but he didn’t want to take any chances in case his ankle went weak as he put it through too much and Kyle had to drag him back to the house. That was the reason Y/n had decided Kyle was pissed at him for. The day had been cut short when Y/n had been careless and gotten hurt. It was then that he suddenly got so irritable, and he hadn’t been the same since. It made sense that he would be irritated at getting distracted from the work he was so dedicated to, and then that Y/n didn’t seem to care as much as he did about getting back to it once Y/n was well enough to go back.

The day Y/n did go out, Kyle seemed to be really tense. “You okay?” Y/n asked quietly.

“Shut up,” Kyle snapped. Y/n shrunk in on himself, not sure why Kyle was so pissed. The man seemed to notice and sighed, pausing in their stroll forward. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have snapped. I just need to stay focused and you’re very distracting.” He began walking again, Y/n scrambling to keep up around his confusion.

Wait what? “Distracting?” Y/n asked gently, unsure. They’d been flirty since the first second they’d met. Sure the sexual tension was obvious but that had never seemed to bother Kyle before. Or did he mean that he was bothered by Y/n’s presence? Or that he was worried Y/n would drag him back again? Y/n wasn’t sure if him being a distraction was a good thing or not, and his brain was beginning to spiral with worry.

Kyle huffed.”I swear to god Y/n if you don’t stop, I’ll make you regret it.”

At that Y/n stopped dead. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean, Orfman?”

For whatever reason, that was what made Kyle break. The taller man spun around, eyes blazing. He looked at Y/n first then around them. There wasn’t even a sign of a zombie in sight. He gripped Y/n’s arm, pulling him roughly toward one of the houses. Y/n wasn’t afraid of Kyle per say, but he was curious enough to go along. His curiosity also held him from saying anything else, in case any questions made him stop.

Kyle led Y/n to the main bedroom and let him go, racing out of the room. Y/n guessed that it was to check to see if the place was empty, because when Kyle returned he didn’t have anything new. He did, however, have his gun drawn. “Kneel down.”

“Wha-?” Y/n began, stepping forward.

“Do it.” Kyle’s voice was hard. It was a command that demanded not to be questioned. Y/n gulped silently, finding himself very eager to obey. It was something he’d never experienced and it took him so off guard that he just did it. “Shirt off,” Kyle ordered next. Y/n’s eyes widened, finally realizing what was about to happen. As he did so, Kyle paused, allowing room for Y/n to stop this. As frustrated as he was, he wasn’t about to do anything Y/n didn’t want him to.

Far too eagerly, Y/n ripped his shirt off. He tossed it to the floor, still on his knees. His eyes followed Kyle dutifully. For all his flirting and big talk, it seemed that in this moment Kyle had unearthed a desperation that Y/n couldn’t contain anymore. He didn’t just want this, he NEEDED it, and if he had to do whatever he was told to get it then that’s what he was going to do.

Kyle smiled to himself, appreciating it. He just stood there and took Y/n in, making the man on the floor feel self conscious. “Do you want me to do anything else?” He asked softly.

A smirk rose to Kyle’s face. “So eager to be bossed around, huh?” Y/n nodded and Kyle seemed to relax, falling into this role like it was made for him. He came closer to Y/n, his hands winding in Y/n’s hair and tugging to Y/n looked up at him. The gun in his other hand moved underneath Y/n’s chin, the end of the barrel grazing his throat. Y/n jerked in surprise. Kyle smirked wider. “Y/n, do you trust me?”

He didn’t even have to think about it. “Yes.”

That was exactly what Kyle needed to hear. “Have you ever been with a man before?”

“Yes,” Y/n answered quickly, wanting to please. “Have you?”

Kyle shook his head. “I haven’t, actually. Is it that different?” When he paused, Y/n shrugged. “Use your words,” Kyle cooed.

“Yeah, for the most part. And more than just the obvious as well. Men go harder, but women go louder which makes a difference for some reason. Men tend to be quiet during sex.”

Nodding, Kyle stayed quiet a few seconds, as if considering the information. “Do you think either one is better?” Y/n shook his head no. “Just different then, huh?” Y/n nodded. “Well,” Kyle purred, nudging the gun to keep Y/n’s chin up as he let go of Y/n’s hair. “Show me the difference, Y/n.” He pointed to his pants and the man on his knees was fast to change his focus from Kyle’s face. His hands worked to undo the pants and pull them down, revealing the bulge underneath the black boxers. Y/n made a soft sound that made Kyle jerk forward. “Don’t waste time,” Kyle barked. “We don’t have all day.” With that, Y/n pulled Kyle’s boxers down as well, allowing his member to spring free. The sight made Y/n lick his lips, looking up at the other man with a question he wasn’t sure if he was allowed to ask. “What?” Kyle prompted, obviously irritated again.

“Do you want me to get it all in? Or can I use my hands too?”

Kyle blushed and Y/n felt his fingers begin to fidget. “Do what you think is necessary.” His voice had dropped and the sound went through Y/n in waves. It was the last thing either of them said before Y/n wrapped his fingers around the base of Kyle’s cock to stabilize it before he wrapped his lips around the tip. He hollowed his cheeks to create better suction as he bobbed his head, making Kyle groan, his head falling back and eyes closing. After a second, Y/n removed his mouth to pump the length with his hands. His fingers slid along the dent just under the head where he knew would be most sensitive. Kyle grabbed his hands to stop him. “I- I need to sit down-” He moved out of Y/n’s reach, sitting on the bed. “Come here.” His eyes were lust blown and Y/n swallowed, crawling over quickly. He didn’t need Kyle to tell him to start again, he just took action. After a few more pumps, Y/n placed his lips on Kyle once more, listening and stealing glances as well as he could without losing focus on what he was doing. He wanted to make sure what he was doing worked, and if it worked he didn’t want to stop doing it. Just when the brunette man seemed to begin to come unwound, he reached forward and grabbed hold of Y/n’s hair again. “Stop,” he growled. Y/n did, pulling his mouth off with a satisfying popping sound that made Kyle shiver. He lifted the hand that still held the gun. “Do you still trust me?”

“I trust you,” Y/n confirmed earnestly, eyes wide and sincere.

Kyle stroked Y/n’s jaw. “Such a good boy.” He leaned forward, pointing the barrel at Y/n’s lips. “Open.” Y/n did, and Kyle fit the thing inside his mouth. Y/n felt his pulse spike. He meant what he said when he’d said he trusted Kyle, but his fight or flight instincts were still responding and it was a little nerve wracking, making it hard to stay still. “Show me,” Kyle demanded softly, his face inches from the side of Y/n’s face. “Show me what you do to make me feel that good. I want to learn so I can duplicate it, but if you do it on me I’m gonna be distracted.”

Y/n steeled himself before beginning to work his mouth around the gun barrel as he did with Kyle. The brunette man suddenly shoved it deeper into Y/n’s mouth, making him gag. Kyle smiled and Y/n blinked the beginning of tears out of his eyes as they threatened to block him from the view. Kyle was obviously getting off on this. The thought was confirmed when Kyle began to stroke himself with his free hand. He watched Y/n, first licking then biting his lip as he touched himself. “God where did you learn to do this?” Y/n paused and he sneered, “Don’t stop. Just because I ask a question doesn’t mean I want you to answer it.” It was a dangerous order. What happened when Kyle DID want him to answer it and he didn’t? Y/n was kind of excited to learn.

Finally Kyle pulled the gun out of Y/n’s mouth. He hummed as Y/n whimpered. “Please,” Y/n begged. “Touch me. Something. Please.”

“So desperate,” Kyle whispered, his breath falling on Y/n’s face. Y/n nodded, scooting closer. His knees were beginning to hurt but he didn’t dare complain. Kyle stood, pointing the gun at Y/n’s forehead. “Stand the fuck up.” Y/n scrambled to his feet. Only now did he realize that Kyle was taller than him. Before it hadn’t been super obvious but now it was clear as day, with how close they were. His thoughts were ripped away from that as Kyle shoved him against the wall aggressively, nestling the gun under his chin. “What do you want?”

“Anything,” Y/n begged, closing his eyes as his head fell against the wood behind him.

Kyle hummed, considering. “Seem to be wearing a lot of clothes for someone who wants me to touch him.” He was grinning when Y/n shot him a complainant look. “Ah yes, what a good boy. Take them off then.” Immediately Y/n was naked, just in time for Kyle to follow as he slid his own shirt off. Kyle returned the gun to Y/n’s throat, but this time moved it to the right. On the left side of Y/n’s neck, Kyle pressed his lips to the Y/n’s skin. First it was soft kisses until he began to sink his teeth into the flesh just enough to make Y/n suck in a breath, but not enough to leave a mark. He did begin to suck though, running his teeth along the skin to ensure there would be a huge, dark purple mark left behind. Y/n released a breath, but his body remained coiled with tension. “Beg me to fuck you,” Kyle mumbled.

“Please,” Y/n immediately hissed, his body shaking with need. His own member brushed against Kyle’s hand and Y/n flinched. “GOD please, Kyle. Please. Tell what I have to do, I swear I’ll do it.”

“I know baby,” Kyle responded evenly, a satisfied smirk on his face. He reached his hand to Y/n’s shoulder, yanking the man around so he was facing the wall. He then moved very close. Close enough that Y/n could feel Kyle’s breath on his neck and his cock against his hip. “Is this what you want?” He let that same free hand up and down Y/n’s length, relishing the way Y/n wobbled between leaning against the wall and Kyle to keep him standing. “Is it? If not, I can stop.”

“God no,” Y/n groaned, his lips parting in an ‘o’ shape. Finally he let his head drop onto Kyle’s shoulder, used to the feeling of the gun barrel making a path from his neck to his stomach. All his focus was on what Kyle’s other hand was doing. “It feels so good, please don’t stop.”

Kyle sighed, long and breathy. “Turn around.” He leaned just far enough away to allow Y/n to obey and Y/n did obey, just as he had all night. Eagerly and without hesitation. When they were face to face, Kyle tossed the gun behind him on the bed, hooking both hands around Y/n’s waist to make sure the man followed him as he began to move to the bed. “Lay down.” When Y/n did, Kyle crawled over him. “Are you going to keep being a good boy?” Y/n nodded. “Good.” His hands were both now free, but the gun was within grabbing distance so Y/n didn’t write it off yet. It’s just that Kyle needed to keep himself propped up as he touched Y/n, and he only had two hands. The first thing Kyle did was stick two fingers in Y/n’s mouth. Y/n sucked on them, making Kyle smile. But he seemed to have a goal in mind as just when Y/n was getting into it, Kyle slid his fingers out, trailing them down his neck to his chest and beyond. His hands drew shapes lower and lower until he dropped past Y/n’s still eager length to push a finger slowly into the man. “How’s this?”

“Not bad,” Y/n responded through heavy breaths, his body tense.

That continued until Y/n relaxed, Kyle giving the man plenty of time to adjust as he slowly stretched out. Then he slipped another finger in, repeating the process and being just as patient every time to make sure Y/n was ready. “God you’re so pretty.” Y/n hadn’t expected that, his body rolling further into Kyle’s hand. He’d been called a lot of things, but never pretty. There was something sweet about the compliment that made it almost intimate. This wasn’t about sex, him saying that. Kyle was just attracted to Y/n on a base level, and that was all. The way it sent shivers all over Y/n’s body made Kyle’s eyes widen in appreciation. “Okay,” he said finally. “I’m going to fuck you now, okay?”

“Please hurry,” Y/n grunted. He wanted his own release so badly at this point he didn’t give a fuck how he got it.

Kyle chuckled, but responded kindly, rather than being as cruel as someone else might have been about how Y/n technically ordered him even though Kyle was in charge right now. Moving his body to line himself with Y/n’s waiting body, Kyle hesitated only a second before pushing in. Y/n hissed a breath in and Kyle moved slowly. Very slowly, allowing Y/n once again all the time he needed. The pain turned to pleasure as it always di, and soon Y/n’s squeaks turned to soft breathing. With him comfortable with Kyle moving, the brunette focused on pleasuring himself. Or, that’s what Y/n thought at first.

As Kyle continued to fuck Y/n, he wrapped a hand around Y/n’s waiting cock, stroking him in time with the thrusts.

Neither man were going to last long.

When they finally did release, Y/n was both filled with Kyle’s cum as well as covered in his own. It made Kyle smile. When they were both done, Kyle pulled out and got to his feet shakily, leaving the room for a few moments only to return with a towel. “I didn’t want to leave you like…” He motioned to Y/n’s wet stomach. Y/n noticed the sudden shyness of the man; the softness to his words, and the way he wouldn’t look at Y/n. The gentleness with which he cleaned the mess, as if he wished Y/n to be unaware of his touch at all.

And also the speed at which he redressed once the job was done, towel discarded in the corner. Kyle retrieved his gun then cleaned it off as well from the spit that was beginning to dry on it and smudge the clean silver shine. Y/n sat up as Kyle began to move to the door. The man winced and Kyle’s expression tightened. “Are you leaving?” His voice was hoarse, making Kyle’s knuckles turn white as he gripped his gun again, as if it was a safety blanket.

Kyle hesitated. “I don’t think we should work together anymore.”

“Was I bad? Did I do something wrong?” Y/n asked as he moved to his feet, nearly tripping over himself as he pulled his own boxers and pants back on. His knees wobbled but he managed to pull it off.

Obviously trying not to smile as he watched only when he thought Y/n didn’t notice him doing so, Kyle cleared his throat. “No.” It was quiet, strained. “But this can’t happen again.”

Y/n stood, still shirtless. “Kyle-”

“I’ll see you back at the base, Y/n.” And with that he was gone, leaving Y/n confused and alone in the room that still smelled like sex.

What had gone wrong?

Male Reader Tag: @sheepfather

#kyle orfman #matthew gray gubler #life after beth #male reader #kyle orfman x reader #kyle orfman imagine #matthew gray gubler imagine #matthew gray gubler x reader #life after beth imagine

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youralternantpersonality · 4 years

Text

Eternal Love

Paul x Reader: Eternal Love.

Part 1: Eternal Love

Part 2: Everlasting Love

Part 3: Endless Love

Part 4: Enduring Love

***

Darkness. All I see is darkness…I’m calm yet scared. I don’t understand what’s going on. I am in the forest in La Push, walking aimlessly. Not heading anywhere. I want to go home but I also like it here. I feel…at peace. I look over and I see a never-ending path of trees. What makes it eerie is that there’s no animals, no background noise, even when I get close enough to the dirt, no worms, ants, spiders, anything. I feel like I’ve been stuck here for almost an hour or so. And after some time, I realize something…where’s my dog?

“Snout! Snout! Where are you?” I yell and start looking around. I hear a bark in the distance and run towards it.

“Snout! Baby, come here!” I hear more barking and I run towards that direction. Something seems familiar about this. I just can’t figure out what it was.

Paul’s POV

Five days. That’s how long it’s been since the good doctor Cullen has told me that the love of my life, the only reason I even exist, the one who would calm me yet irritate me out of love, The One; gone. At least, not completely. She’s in a vegetable state—can’t move willingly, can’t hear, smell, taste anything. Hooked up to a machine that is keeping her on this earth. I haven’t moved from this spot by her bed unless I have to shower and eat (demands by Emily).

As I sit here, looking at my beautiful Y/n, bruises along her left side of her body, a cast that covers her arm, hip, and legs, bandages wrapped around her head, I can’t help but cry nonexistent tears. I have cried all of what I had left over the past few days. I can remember everything that happened so clearly. Regret consumed me, so much so, that Dr. Cullen was gracious enough to fix the damages in the bathroom attached to her room when I smashed my fist into the mirror, and he got her, her suite in the hospital.

I fucked up. Everyone tried to make me feel better, but deep down, we all know what I did was what put her in this situation. Which is why I begged, no pleaded, even bargained with the Good Doctor to change her. He wanted to help, but because of the treaty….

“…I cannot Paul. The treaty states…”

“Fuck the treaty! She’s the love of my life! I can’t lose her! I may have fucked up and caused this, but I can’t let her go! Please!” I pleaded outside of his home. His wife, Esme, came next to me and hugged me as I fell to the ground. I didn’t care if she was eerie rock solid or cold as ice, I just needed my Y/n/n back.

As I am looking at her currently, caressing her little finger that is hanging outside her cast, I think back to how we met.

At the Beach: September 2nd, 2018;

There was a birthday party at the beach and, like what anyone would expect from us, the guys and I crashed it. It seemed boring until we, I, showed up. The host was too tipsy to give a crap and was just happy to see more people. I was flirting, per usual, with some lovely girls when the host calls out a name. And what made me respond was the voice and fragrance that came with it.

“What hoe!” a laugh followed afterward. The wind blew a sweet fragrance, pomegranate mango with an orange-like citrus smell to it. I turned my head at the right time to see Y/n. I couldn’t take my eyes off her as she walked towards who I found out later to be Angela—one of Bella’s old friends. She went up to hug her and Y/n looked around. That’s where our eyes came in contact. Everything else around me disappeared and I didn’t care for anyone or anything around me. I slowly made my way up to her and she just smiles as I do so.

“Hello, beautiful. I don’t think I’ve seen you around here. I’m Paul, what’s your name?” I smile, not one of my flirty smiles, a genuine smile. It’s weird, I never wanted to imprint EVER in my life, but over time, it didn’t seem too bad. And now, I’m not complaining.

“Hmm, you seem dangerous.” A cheeky smile is placed on her face, she looks me up and down and turns her body towards me.

“I’m Y/n, but people call me Y/n/n.” I smile and shake her hand. Both of our eyes widen at the electricity flow, the magnetic force pulling us to one another, and this cloud 9 effect that is taking over. I look down at her and smile.

“Hmm, you seem like you’re about to ruin my life,” I said jokingly. She smiles and laughs.

“I guess we’re a match huh?”

“I guess we are. So, tell me about yourself.” And from then on, we were together.

But it seems like life wanted to make a full circle.

Current Day: August 30th, 2020

“Paul, the council is still debating. I know this is hard, but please, at least for Emily, go home and get some rest.” Sam said. Normally, I’d take alphas orders, but this time, I can’t. I shake my head and head towards the bathroom. I brush past him and Jake and just stand there behind the door. I look at myself in the mirror and can see emotional and physical damage.

I’ve lost weight, I have deep dark circles around my eyes, my eyes itself is bloodshot red. My skin is sickly pale, not it’s normal “golden glow honey brown sugar” skin that my little raven called it. I laugh at that memory. She was whimsical, mysterious, and protective like a raven. Her secret personality was as big as one too. She called you in naturally by her beauty—inner and outer beauty.

At Paul’s house: November 2018

We were laying on the couch relaxing before I had to go on patrol. She was reading a book with her legs planted in my lap, I was deep engrossed to the video game I was playing when suddenly, I feel a pair of eyes on me.

“Make a video to remember this moment then replay it when you miss me.” I smile and look over at her. All I could see is her big y/e/c eyes staring back at me. One eyebrow raised and her book was covering the bottom half of her face.

“You know,” she says sitting up, putting down the book, “it’s not fair how clear and bright your skin is. You have this…this golden glow…with, like, honey brown sugar swirled in it. You suck.” She says pouting. I pause the game, lean over to her, and place most of my weight on her while kissing her neck. She squeals underneath me and starts laughing. I smile and kiss her softly while poking my nose into her cheek.

“I love every bit of you, my love. You may see flaws, but with my heightened eyesight, I can see little freckles kissed all along your face. Matter of fact, let me show you where.” Then I proceeded to kiss all over her face. She laughs uncontrollably.

“But you don’t have the curse of hyperpigmentation! You see freckles, I see never-ending scars.” I hate it when she gets like this. It hurts me, to see the love of my life feel as if she has to be something different to even be next to me.

“Baby, stop,” I said calmly, I learned quickly that I would have to control my tone around her. She can read me like a book and because her emotions can get the best of her, yelling could end in two ways. One, she’ll fight back—she’s all bark and bites—so no one messes with her for a while when she’s at that point. Or two, she starts tearing up and holds back tears. Not for manipulation reasons that most girls do, but for the fact that she intakes certain emotions and she has no control over hers.

“I know you may feel that way, and you have to remember, I did too. You know, I was human like you before my wolfy sense’s kicked in.” I smile as she smiles back. “Just know my love, I don’t see anything wrong with you. I could never.” I place my forehead on hers. “I love you too much to worry about things like that.” I kiss her. She looks at me and says,

“So, if you didn’t love me, you’d notice it?” I look at her with a blank face, roll my eyes, and just roll off the couch. I can feel her watching me.

“Well…”

“You know, you’re a little shit, right?” I say with my hands covering my face. She lays on top of me and says,

“But you love me, remember.”

“Oh my god…” I just squeeze her to me and laugh along with her.

Current Day: August 30th, 2020

I step back out into the room where Dr. Cullen and Sam are waiting for me. I stop and look at them.

“The council decided…” Sam said, I looked up with hopeful eyes…

“They will agree to it, if…” Carlisle started.

“If what?” I say, taking a step forward.

“If she leaves until she can handle being around humans. And…” Sam began,

“She can’t go back to La Push,” Carlisle said. I replayed what they said…. she can change but can’t come back until she’s able to be around humans, but she can’t come back to La Push. I nod my head.

“How long does it usually take for your kind to get better at being around humans?” I ask quietly. Carlisle looked at Sam with guilt and answered.

“It depends on the person's restraint. Within their first year, their blood still runs in their body, so blood lust, especially from humans, is out of control. After a year, it gets better. Although, with our diet, it’s harder but not impossible.”

“But how long in total?” I asked anxiously. He looked at me with genuine sad eyes.

“Up to three years or so.” He said with sorrow in my eyes. For once in the few days I’ve been here, a new emotion that I haven’t touched came out. Rage.

“Three years! I can’t go that long without her! I’m coming with you.” I said to Carlisle. Sam looked at him for an answer. This is the first time I’ve seen him rely on his answers on another person’s answer.

“You can, but there’s no guarantee of anything. Her body may or may not accept the venom. She may or may not remember you. She may have anger towards you about what happened if she remembers what happens. Anything could happen Paul. Is it worth the risk?” without hesitation, I answered.

“Yes.” Sam nodded his head and gave me the okay. Even if he wouldn’t have, I still would have followed them. He knows just as much as anyone that separating imprints from one another is a death sentence.

“We leave tonight. Edward and I will take her to Alaska with some friends of ours. I will administrate the change there. Because you are in no condition to shift, we plan on flying. Medical services will meet us there with her. We have paperwork stating that they are her closes family since she doesn’t have one.” I nodded my head and took a deep breath.

“Thank you. I know this is a reach, but can I ask for one favor.”

“Of course.”

“Can you freeze her eggs.” They looked at me confused and with shock. So, I explained,

“We’ve always talked about having children. She’s always wanted children of her own and to adopt some. I know she wouldn’t care too much about it, but I also know that would make her happy.” I begged the doctor. He sighed and nodded.

“it shouldn’t be a problem, since she’s already under my friends name as family, Eleazar would be okay with it.” I nod my head and look back at my angel.

“Emily, Kim, and Clair will be up here in a few. Go home and rest for tonight Paul. I promise, she’ll be okay. If she’s going to have the procedure, you need to be ready for when it’s over and to head out.” I didn’t argue this time. I walked over to her and kiss her head.

“Don’t leave me, my love. I’ll be here waiting for you. Always.”

My Love (for the series)

Masterlist

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imaginethathaikyuu · 5 years

Note

as a fellow akaashi whore, may i request s/o being the manager nd dating him in secret or something?? idk just fluff i just love him

sooo…. when you requested this you probably expected a short little scenario, but… uh… take a look at that word count yikeslook, idk what happened but this scenario has taken over my life for a week now. and here are the results. (oh, and, spoiler alert: his s/o isn’t the team’s manager… uh… oops? also, akaashi whores UNITE)

most importantly: round of applause for my beta reader, editor in chief, very good friend who has way too high of a tolerance for my bullshit and dumb ideas, @heichou-in-my-head, better known as pip. i don’t know how you do it, but holy shit is this honeybun grateful for you pippy. sorry my trouble with tenses gave you a hard time with this one, but what else do you expect from me? (seriously, thank you for all you do for me! ^_^)

without further ado….. word count: 7883fem reader

“This is Akaashi.”

Back when your parents told you they’d be hiring a new gardener, you’d expected someone just as old as your last one. It appeared they’d managed to find a college student who was the same age as you instead.

“You can call me Keiji, if you want to.”

And it was weird - your parents quickly accepted the boy into your family. You recall feeling as though they expected the two of you to develop a relationship resembling something like siblings.

But after two months of him working for your family, you’d done nothing but embarrass yourself in front of him.

Even the other morning, you’d walked into the kitchen wearing what you’d slept in - a t-shirt and your underwear - toothbrush in mouth, bedhead out in full force, just about to grab a bottle of water from the fridge when you noticed: the boy was standing at the sink washing his hands, eyeing you with vague amusement. You remember gratefully noting that he didn’t glance down to your lower half.

How polite.

The snicker he gave you wasn’t very polite, though.

“Good morning,” he said, “sleeping beauty.”

You pulled your toothbrush from your mouth with a scoff.

“It’s not that late,” you mumbled, grabbing the bottle and beating a hasty retreat to your room.

—

Akaashi ended up doing more than just gardening work; observing his competence and willingness to do just about any task they could come up with, your parents immediately decided the entire house needed some work done. And there was no job Akaashi couldn’t do! He built shelves, painted walls, repaired fences - you’d even seen him under the hood of your dad’s car. He added these uncomplainingly to his main tasks of mowing the lawn, tending to the flower beds and bushes, weeding and re-potting, and occasionally working on the garden furniture. It was a wonder he had any time for school.

You stare at him now; he’d just knocked on your door, pulling you out of a deep Youtube video hole, and greeted you with, “I’m supposed to take down your curtains.”

“…what?” You glance back at your window confusedly.

“Your curtains - I’m supposed to take them down. And put these new ones up.”

“Oh.” You’d assumed your dad would change your curtains, but at this point it’s a given he’d get Akaashi to do it. “Uh… sure, okay.”

You settle back into your bed while he brings a step stool and a few tools in. The silence as he works is awkward, even tense, and it doesn’t seem like Akaashi’s going to break it - you decide you’ll have to do it.

“So, do you only own dark blue t-shirts?”

“Do you own pants?”

Damn. You’d hoped all those times you’d walked around in just your underwear had gone unnoticed by him.

“As a matter of fact, I do,” you shoot back, trying to mask your embarrassment. “You know, I used to be able to roam freely before my parents adopted you.”

He snorts. “Adopted?”

You sit up to get a better look at him. “What, you don’t feel like they’ve adopted you?”

“Considering I go home at the end of the day, no.”

“That’s the next step, Keiji - we have a spare room!”

He chuckles, instantly lightening the tense atmosphere. You realise this is the first time you’ve seen him smile genuinely and not just out of politeness - the old curtains are now down and the golden sunlight shines on his face, enhancing his features softly. For some reason you can’t take your eyes off him.

“I don’t think my own parents would appreciate me getting a new family.”

“I guess that’s true,” you laugh. “What do you have left to do today?”

His tongue sticks out just a bit as he focuses on twisting a screw into the wall. “Mow the lawn.”

“Perfect excuse to make lemonade then, don’t you think?”

Akaashi takes a step back to judge his work. The curtains are up, they’re even, and they look nice.

“Cliche,” he says, looking over to you. “But I agree.”

—

The summer sun is hot. Much hotter than you remember it being last year. And the best place to get away from that heat? Your air conditioned bedroom, obviously.

Your mom isn’t inclined to agree, though.

“Why don’t you get out of bed?”

“Mom…”

“Y/N, you’ve had two weeks of summer break and you’ve spent the whole time cooped up in this room. Your father is worried sick!”

You groan again. “I’m relaxing!”

“Well, you need to get some sun,” your mother continues. “Akaashi is outside painting the fence. I told him you’d be joining him. Get going!”

She leaves your bedroom with a huff, and you force yourself to roll out of bed. You put on appropriate clothes for painting and head to the backyard.

Akaashi’s wearing his trademarked blue t-shirt, paint supplies on a tarp next to him.

“Nice to see you out of that cave,” he says without looking at you.

You roll your eyes in response, crossing your arms and waiting for him to give you instructions.

“You actually want to help?”

“I don’t think I have a choice,” you reply, turning around to see your mother watching you from inside the house. You wave at her dramatically, and she waves back before walking away from the window.

He kneels down to prepare the paint. “I’ve already cleaned it and applied a primer,” he tells you. “So we can start painting now.”

You’re not sure what primer is for, but the quicker you finish painting, the quicker you can get out of this heat - you’re not going to bother asking.

He hands you a large brush and a tin can of white paint, and then walks away.

“Is that it?”

He laughs. “It isn’t rocket science! Just start painting!”

As it turns out, Akaashi had way too much faith in you. You’ve only finished painting about a third of the fence when he stands next to you, having already finished the other two thirds.

“Someone likes to take their time,” he says, painting the last panel.

“You’re just too fast!”

“You didn’t have to be so meticulous.” He takes the paint brush and can from you. “But thanks for the help.”

“Why didn’t you tell me that before we started?”

“I didn’t think I had to.”

“Hey, it looks good!”

Both of you turn around to find your mother judging the paint job.

“How did she do, Keiji? Be honest!”

The boy looks over at you with a smile. “She didn’t do half bad. It was nice having company.”

“She’ll have to help out more often.”

After that, your parents jump at any chance to have you help Akaashi with his work. Without giving you payment, of course.

“You could learn a lot from the boy,” your dad says later on. “You need to learn how to do some hard work.”

“I think we managed to hire a trustworthy boy,” your mother chimes in.

“He can teach you about taking care of yourself. At least until you find a man like him to do it all. Someone with deeper pockets, hopefully.”

For some reason you’re really not a fan of the tone of voice your father uses, but at the same time you don’t really know what he means by it. Rather than being offended for Akaashi’s sake, you continue the conversation.

“Can’t I just hire someone like you guys?”

After a moment of thought, your mom speaks up. “Of course that’s an option! Maybe Keiji will even be around to work for you.”

You nod, not really knowing how to reply. You couldn’t genuinely see Akaashi working for you - but maybe working the whole summer with him wouldn’t be so bad, if it meant getting to know him better.

—

A knock on the front door pulls you out of the movie you were watching. When you answer, you find a familiar face.

“Is your dad home?”

You shake your head. “No, he’s having a late night at work. Won’t be back until early in the morning.”

“What about your mom?”

“On a trip,” you reply, bringing Akaashi inside.

“Well, do you have any idea why your dad called me here, then?”

“Oh, probably for me, sorry.”

His brows furrow, and the smile you sent him only confuses him more.

“My bathtub’s drain was clogged, but I told him I’d figure it out myself. I guess he didn’t trust my plumbing skills.”

“Did you fix it?”

“I…tried!”

He sighs. “Which bathroom?”

“The one in my room…”

You have no idea how he plans to fix the clog with no tools, but you don’t stop him as he makes his way to the bathroom. You sit at the kitchen table and wait for him to come back.

It takes much less time than you expected, and he’s drying his hands with a towel when he walks into the kitchen.

“Did you fix it?!”

He nods, wiping his brow. “Maybe I should’ve used that as a teachable moment for you.”

“No thanks. I never want to look at a drain again - I tried looking up instructions, but nothing would work. I tried for at least thirty minutes!”

“It isn’t that hard,” he replies under his breath. He sits across the table from you. “What are you doing home anyway? Don’t you have friends to keep you company? You know, instead of your gardener.”

“Are you implying I told my dad to invite you here on purpose?”

“A clogged drain isn’t that dire, but your dad definitely made it out to be.”

“Whatever,” you scoff. “I was going to make dinner, and since you’re here, you can help.”

“I’m a gardener, not a chef.”

You stand and begin pulling ingredients out of the fridge. “That’s what recipes are for - I won’t let you mess anything up, don’t worry.”

“Fine - don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

Thirty minutes later the entire kitchen was filled with smoke.

“How did you burn rice?!”

“I don’t know - all I did was pour it into the pot!”

“With or without water?”

“…shit.”

—

Akaashi was hopeful that when fall came around, it’d mean less work. He was very mistaken. You’d even told him, “knowing my dad, he’ll find something for you to do.”

And the man did. For a month, Akaashi had to rake leaves once a week - which included cleaning the gutters - and when he wasn’t doing that, he was cleaning old tools that had been in your garage for years.

The first day he does the raking you watch him through the living room window in agony, waiting for him to get a big pile collected.

And as soon as he turns his back…

Your giggles were the only warning he had before he saw leaves go flying.

“My dad told me to help, so I thought I’d give you more work!”

“Y/N,” he says with a groan, but your laughter forces him to laugh with you. “That took half an hour!”

“I’ll rake them again! Help me up.”

He grabs your hand - only to be pulled down into the remaining leaf pile beside you, making you laugh even harder when he groans.

“Isn’t it fun?”

“I haven’t done this since I was a kid,” he says. But you notice that as he stands up and pulls you with him, he doesn’t deny it. “Once I jumped in a pile of leaves my dad was raking, and he was so pissed,” he admits with a laugh, looking happy at the memory.

“Did you have to rake them up after that, like I have to?”

He answers by handing you a rake. “I had to rake them for the rest of the season. For everyone in our neighborhood.”

“God, that must’ve sucked.”

“It paid well,” he replies. “I was able to buy my parents Christmas gifts that year because of it.”

“That’s sweet, Keiji.”

“Enough ass kissing, get to work.”

He walks away while you scoff, leaving you alone to rake up the mess you made - but you both have smiles on your faces.

—

As winter approached, Akaashi was spending even more of his time with you when he was meant to be working. You’d call him into your room for his opinion on an outfit or make him stay an hour longer so he could have lunch with you; you even often texted each other. Your friendship flourished, and the two of you felt more than comfortable around each other now - a stark comparison to nearly six months ago.

He was at your home every Monday and some Thursdays ready to work, without fail. They quickly became your favorite days of the week.

This Monday the wind was roaring outside as you curled up on the couch, fireplace ablaze to keep you warm. You were sure Akaashi wouldn’t come today - the last time you looked outside everything was covered in snow, even parts of the road - so when the doorbell rings it makes you jump a little.

You open the door, knowing Akaashi would be on the other side. “You’re late!” you say before hurrying back to your spot on the couch.

He pulls his beanie off, letting his messy hair free. “I know - the snow was getting bad. Had to shovel my driveway.”

“Tardiness is unacceptable, Akaashi.”

He scoffs at you. “Tardiness is next to godliness -”

“That’s timeliness.”

Your dad walks into the room from the kitchen, interrupting your conversation. “Akaashi, what’re you doing here?”

“Wasn’t I supposed to work on something in the attic today, or… something?”

He takes off his scarf as he speaks, and you stare at his rosy cheeks. His skin must’ve been flushed from the cold - you think he looks absolutely precious.

He catches you staring at him, but you didn’t look away. Before you probably would’ve been embarrassed to be caught eyeing the boy, but now you were looking forward to him teasing you for it.

“Well, yeah, but have you seen the weather? I didn’t think you’d bother showing up.”

Of course he’d seen the weather - but he also hadn’t seen you in a week. And for some reason, he missed you - so he made a point to get to work today.

“I appreciate the work. Especially since the holidays are coming up.”

“Alright…” your dad says with an understanding sigh. “Come on, then.”

You assume your dad leads him to the attic. Before walking away, Akaashi pulls his hoodie off, giving you a good view of his toned stomach when his shirt raises up. And instead of hanging it on the coat rack, he throws it at you with a smirk.

“Hey!”

“It’s to keep you warm!” he laughs before quickly catching up with his boss.

You don’t see him again until you’re having dinner. Your mother invites him to stay and eat, and when he sits across from you, you make sure to give his leg a playful kick.

“Shouldn’t you write Keiji up for being late today, bossman?”

“I had an excuse,” the boy argues.

“But you were a good four hours late.”

Keiji finally kicks your leg back, rolling his eyes.

“At least I showed up at all,” he replies. He looks down at his watch and half-gasps at the time. “I should get home, though - thank you for the meal.”

He stands up and your mother follows him. “Are you sure the roads are safe?” Nobody responds as she walks over to a window, seeing nothing but thick snow falling from the evening sky. “The road’s completely covered! I don’t want you driving in this weather. You should stay here for the night.”

“Keiji, we get to have a sleepover,” you tease.

“I couldn’t impose -”

“I insist,” your mom says. “You can sleep in the living room. Help him feel at home, Y/N.”

“Sure,” you reply. You would’ve given a sassier reply just to tease Akaashi even more, but you were busy wondering about his worried expression.

“Maybe the snow will lighten up soon,” he says.

“I doubt it,” your father says to him. The man stands and puts a hand on Akaashi’s shoulder. “Just stay here until the morning, don’t bother risking the drive. Y/N, don’t pester him too much.”

“I’ll try.”

After wishing you goodnight, your parents head off to their bedroom for bed.

“Do you want me to get the futon out for you?”

“If you don’t mind,” Akaashi says as he pulls out his cell phone. With a sigh, he continues. “My brother is going to be pissed.”

“You have a brother?” you ask, making your way to the closet where the futon and blankets are stored.

“Yeah, he’s 7.”

You had known Akaashi for what felt like a long time, and you thought you knew him well. But even after all this time, and after learning so much about him, you knew almost nothing about his home life.

Wanting to know more, you ask, “what’s his name?”

You turn your head to find him with his phone pressed to his ear.

“Hey, can you put Koichi on? Yeah, thanks.”

You turn back and focus on setting up his futon in the middle of the living room, but you can’t help overhearing his phone call since he’s only standing in the doorway.

“Hey, kid. I know I was supposed to be home before it got dark, but… no, playing in the snow is going to have to wait until tomorrow… I know I promised, but I have to stay here - no, the roads aren’t safe to drive…”

You find yourself feeling very curious about what Akaashi’s brother is like, what their relationship is like; you just want to sit and talk to him about his life and family, learning everything about him. But you’re sure he’d feel uncomfortable with that. It’d probably feel more like an interrogation to him.

It does seem unfair though. He knew virtually everything about you and your family. Would you have to become his handyman in order to learn more about him?

“Hey, you didn’t have to do all that for me.”

You look up and see he’s now back in the living room with you, phone call completed. You were already done setting up his futon as well as spreading out the bedspread.

“It’s fine!” you say. “I’ll get you an extra blanket, too.”

“Thanks, Y/N.”

“No problem, Keiji.”

You get the blanket for him and decide to turn in early, heading back up to your room with a cheerful ‘good night’.

When you wake up, the first thing you think is how cold you are. It’s unbearable; you curl your limbs into your body, pull your blanket up to your chin, but it’s no use. It feels like the blanket is only making you colder.

You open your eyes to check the time; you expect to see the sun shining through your window, but it’s still dark out. You click your phone on and are surprised to find that it’s only 1 am - and also that your phone isn’t charging, even though it’s plugged in.

You switch your bedside lamp on: nothing.

“Huh.”

The snow must have knocked the power out. That would explain your room’s temperature.

There’s no way you can fall asleep in your cold bedroom, so using your phone as a flashlight, you make your way to the living room, with thoughts of the fireplace and a certain boy and the warmth both of them can offer.

You’re excited to see Akaashi already has a fire burning in the fireplace, and he’s sat up in the futon, the hood of his hoodie pulled up over his head.

“Keiji,” you whisper before sitting next to him. “I need warmth!”

“You’re in the right place, then.”

You sit down next to him in front of the fireplace, sitting much closer to him than you first intended.

“You’re shivering,” he says with a laugh, pushing his hood down. “Are you really that cold?”

You nod, pulling your knees up to your chest and hugging them close.

“Here,” Akaashi says, pulling his hoodie off and handing it to you. “It’s warm.”

“Won’t you be cold?” you ask, pulling the sweatshirt on. You immediately feel warmer, and the scent of Akaashi’s cologne quickly takes over your senses.

He shakes his head. “Not if I’m under a blanket,” he says as he scoots up, getting under the two large blankets. “Do you want to lay down with me?”

Instead of answering, you just crawl over to him. He holds the blanket up for you, inviting you under, and you gratefully accept.

“Do you feel better?” Akaashi asks after you get comfortable.

“I’m so warm,” you say, almost in disbelief. You open your eyes and give him a wide, content smile. “Are you warm?”

He nods. You’re sharing a pillow; his face is quite close to yours. But not uncomfortably close. You like laying next to him like this.

“…are you still worried about your brother?”

“A little,” he says with an awkward laugh. “He wanted to play in the snow together.”

“He’ll be okay, I’m sure,” you say before yawning. “I didn’t know you even had a brother. Does he look like you?”

Akaashi smiles. “Basically identical.”

“I’d love to meet him.”

Your eyes are closed now, and you can feel yourself falling asleep, but you try to hold it back.

“I’d like that,” Akaashi replies, and his voice is much quieter than it was before.

He closes his eyes too, but he’s nowhere near falling asleep. He isn’t even tired. How could he manage to fall asleep while you’re laying right next to him?

So he opens his eyes again, and lets himself look at you. The fire lights up the room with an orange glow, gently cascading on your face. And he’s gone; his heart is beating fast, he’s smiling for no reason, his entire body feels warm - and he’s sure it isn’t because of the fire.

He wants you to wake up. He wants you to look at him like he’s looking at you. He wants to keep talking to you, to tell you everything about himself.

But at the same time, he loves how peaceful you look. He never thought he’d get the chance to see you sleeping - and he kind of feels like a creep for watching you, but he figures that just this once, it’s okay. After all, you did crawl into bed beside him.

You snuggle into the pillow and your hair falls into your face, and Akaashi takes a chance and brushes it away. His touch is soft, he’s sure, but when he pulls his hand away your eyes slowly open.

“Are you cold?”

He shakes his head, but you scoot closer to him anyway.

“I can keep you warm,” you say softly, wrapping your arm around his waist and pressing your face against the top of his chest. “I haven’t cuddled in so long…”

“Me neither,” he replies. He’s trying to relax, because he’s sure you can feel how tense he is.

“Then we should cuddle more often.”

“Yeah?”

“Mhm.”

He swears he’s going to pass out, because he’s holding his breath and his heart is beating so fast and his mind is racing.

He’s not sure if this is appropriate - in fact, he knows it isn’t. He feels dizzy just thinking about what your father - his boss - would say if he knew the two of you were here in each other’s arms.

But maybe that doesn’t matter for now, and maybe he could get away with doing this just once.

So he relaxes and he breathes and he closes his eyes, but he doesn’t fall asleep for a while - he has to keep an eye on the fireplace, anyway. He lays there with your body pressed against his, your arms wrapped around him, for what’s probably hours. And he’s never felt more comfortable.

—

Even though it wasn’t his intention, cuddling together turns out to be more than a one-time thing.

For the rest of the winter you made a habit of inviting him to your room, always to keep you warm. And he never really had any complaints until the day you expressed that you want to do more with him.

It was overwhelming. So much so that after you had that conversation with him, he had to avoid you. It was hard to avoid someone who lived in the house he worked in, though, so his attempts were unsuccessful.

One day he’s in the kitchen washing his hands when you come into the room and pull him out into the hall.

“What’s up?” he asks as you lead him around the corner, holding his hand behind you. “I’m not done working -”

You stop and turn to him, leaning against the wall behind you. You pull him closer and take a deep breath, remembering the conversation the two of you had a few days ago, when you expressed your feelings and told him how badly you wanted to be closer to him - and when he told you he feels the same way.

“You already know.”

He tries his best to hold back his reaction. He knows what you mean. But still, he shakes his head.

“I want you to… kiss me.”

He’s avoiding eye contact with you now, and you squeeze his hand. He doesn’t squeeze back.

“What?”

“Don’t you want to?” you ask. He doesn’t reply. “Keiji…”

For the first time that evening, he looks at you in the eye. “Don’t… say my name like that.”

“Why not?”

Blue eyes bore into yours. You know he’s trying hard to keep that exasperated look on his face. You’re trying hard to swallow the lump forming in your throat. Had he lied when he said he wanted you too?

“Keiji… you said you want to.”

His eyes close, his hand squeezes yours tight.

“I can’t,” he says, shaking his head. “If your parents found out -”

“No one has to know.”

“They’ll know,” he replies.

“One kiss,” you say, looking at his lips. The curiosity was eating away at you now. “It’s harmless.”

Akaashi knows that isn’t true. And if you genuinely believe that then his feelings are already hurt. Because this isn’t harmless - especially if it really is just one kiss.

You’d spent the last few months being forbidden fucking fruit - one taste wouldn’t be enough for him. He knows that. You should too.

So he shakes his head again, letting out a breath that sounds like a groan, and he keeps his eyes squeezed shut so he doesn’t have to look at your tantalizing lips again.

“I… I can’t.”

Being rejected isn’t something you expected to happen. So you look down to your feet. You drop Akaashi’s hand. After getting used to your touch, he misses the feeling already.

“Okay…” you reply. It’s hard to speak to him now, knowing that he didn’t mean what he said before, and you’re embarrassed.

You know your next words will sound pathetic, but you can’t hold them back. “If you… change your mind, you know where to find me, I guess.”

And then you walk away, knowing both of you would regret your actions that day.

—

After that, the two of you were back to square one. You remember feeling as if the last few months hadn’t even happened - you stopped talking, you stopped cuddling, you even stopped looking at each other.

It was hard for both of you. Akaashi was convinced that after he rejected you, you started purposefully walking around the house scantily clad even more than before. It’d been two weeks since then, and it was driving him fucking crazy.

He could deal with it, though.

That day, however - that day was the last straw.

He’d walked into your house - at this point, your parents had told him to just let himself in. And the sight he walked in on was something he’d never get out of his head.

You were on the couch…and you weren’t alone. You were lying with someone else on top of you, your lips attached to his. To make it worse, it was a guy Akaashi was sure he recognized from his high school volleyball days.

It was like walking in on a car crash. His heart sank into his stomach, it felt like he was going to throw up, he couldn’t breathe. He wanted to pull his hair out, he wanted to yell, to cry. But all he could think to do was run out. He forgot about the job he was meant to be doing today.

And then he sat alone in his car for awhile.

He hoped you got what you wanted - because he wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to walk into that house again.

—

“Long time no see,” you mumble when you walk into the kitchen. You see him stiffen at the sound of your voice.

Akaashi had taken a two week “vacation”, according to your dad, but you knew the real reason he’d stayed away.

“Wonder why,” he replies, his sarcastic tone matching yours. He definitely wasn’t happy to be speaking to you.

“Yeah,” you say. “I wonder.”

Akaashi can’t take it anymore. Not only is your tone absolutely unbearable, but the way you’d been treating him - even before he caught you with another guy - was nothing but disrespectful.

“Do you get off on hurting my feelings or something?”

“What -”

“You know what you’re doing. Don’t act innocent.”

He turns to look at you, clearly feeling confident. You don’t feel the same.

“I didn’t mean for you to walk in…”

“We both know that’s bullshit -”

“No it isn’t.”

After a beat of silence, Akaashi asks a question that he’s been dying to ask for two weeks now. “What, is he your boyfriend or something?”

“No.”

The truth is you did hate yourself for being caught like that, if only because you were sorry it hurt Akaashi to see it.

“You don’t want to kiss me. But he did. So I kissed him.”

That had been a bad choice - you knew it the moment you invited the boy over. It wasn’t helpful to anyone, particularly the guy whom you had no feelings for.

“And I don’t understand why you’re so upset when you never wanted me in the first place -”

“I wanted to kiss you!”

“Then why didn’t you?!” You know you shouldn’t raise your voice, but Akaashi doesn’t seem fazed by it.

“Because I could lose my job! And I wouldn’t be able to stop myself - it wouldn’t just be one kiss, but you don’t - you don’t understand that!”

You take a while to reply. Akaashi takes that chance to look away from you, to run a hand through his hair, to realize what the fuck he just said.

“What if I don’t want you to stop?”

“Don’t say that.”

“I still want to kiss you, Keiji!” you say loudly, glad your parents are at work. “Even after you rejected me - and you can do it again! I don’t care!”

Then kiss me - he’s so close to saying it. But he can’t open his mouth.

“I’m going to my room. Go do your work -”

“Wait -”

You stop in your tracks and wait for him to continue.

“If I lose my job for this -”

“You won’t.”

He walks closer to you, ignoring what you said. “If I lose my job for this, you’re buying my brother’s birthday presents.”

“You aren’t going to get fired, unless you’re a bad kisser and I make my dad fire you so I never have to see you again.”

He rolls his eyes. “Do you want me to kiss you or not?”

You don’t bother replying, because Akaashi puts his hands on each side of your face. He pulls you close, but he goes slow, as if he’s working up the courage to do it.

“Is this your first kiss?”

“Shut up.”

And then he kisses you - it’s sweet and soft and gentle, and while you expected all of those things, fireworks don’t fly like you thought they would. You don’t feel sparks of electricity across your whole body. Maybe it’s because it’s not rushed, or because it isn’t spontaneous.

But the way his hands are holding your face feel perfect. His thumb grazes your skin carefully, and his hands are gentle despite being rough and worn from countless hours of hard work.

It doesn’t last very long; he pulls away before you can even move your lips much. And when you open your eyes, his are still closed - and he’s smiling so wide.

You know kissing is supposed to lead to more, in fact you assumed you’d be taking each other’s clothes off by now, but all you really want to do is cuddle with him for a while.

“When will you be done working?”

“I don’t know, why?”

“Because I want to take a nap.”

“We can take a nap,” he laughs.

“And I want to kiss you more.”

He nods. “I’ll kiss you more. As much as you want.”

—

You think back on the period that followed with great affection, the blessed honeymoon phase. As spring approached and the weather started to get warmer, your relationship with Akaashi blossomed along with the wild daffodils in your backyard. Even though he was nervous about your parents finding out, requesting that you keep your relationship status a secret so he wouldn’t risk losing his job, you both felt very happy with how things were going. You were comfortable with him, and he absolutely adored you.

When you informed him of your love of spring flowers he demanded you help plant some in the flowerbeds. He told you he’d plant whatever you wanted, even taking you to a flower shop so you could pick them out.

You decided on red marigolds. Akaashi planted the seeds with tender care, and you made sure to water them on the days he wasn’t working.

The two of you bonded over waiting for the flowers to bloom - you were impatient, and Akaashi was worried they wouldn’t grow.

But they did - the two of you were over the moon when they sprouted, you remember fondly, sitting on the edge of the porch with him, both looking at the flowerbed.

“I’m so excited for them to bloom,” you say.

“Me too.”

You turn your head and look at Akaashi. He gives you a small smile, and you feel your heart speed up just looking at him. He’s so cute that it hurts, but you can’t even look away from him.

But you have to; you look around, making sure no one just so happens to be looking, and then you quickly steal a kiss from him.

“What was that for?” he asks.

You shrug. “You just look cute, that’s all.”

Akaashi looks around in the same way you had, before kissing you again quickly.

“Right back at you,” he replies, before letting his hand rest on yours.

You lean your head against his shoulder and smile wide as he presses a kiss to the top of your head. You flip your hand over so you could lock your fingers together.

Akaashi feels something he’d never felt before, not with anyone else or even with you, until right now. He’s so comforted by you; this moment is cozy and relaxed and tranquil and every other word like that he can think of. He wants to be with you, right there, for as long as he can.

He squeezes your hand. He wants more of this - more of you.

“Y/N,” he says quietly, and you pull back to look up at him.

He smiles again before ducking down to kiss you one more time. This one lasts longer, he kisses you hard and makes the most out of the short time before he has to pull away.

He doesn’t want to pull away at all, but he’s glad he did - because the door behind you opens right then.

“Keiji, I’m glad I caught you before you left -”

Your mom is none the wiser, or at least it seems so. Akaashi pulls away from you quickly, praying she didn’t see anything.

“We’re having a little neighborhood get-together tomorrow here at noon, and I thought it’d be fun for you to come!”

He nods, looking back at her. “Sure, I’ll be there.”

“Great! Oh and Y/N, the neighbor’s son is home for spring break and we’ve invited him too. You’ll have to wear something nice.”

You nod in response and Akaashi stands. “Well, I’ll see you guys tomorrow. I better get going.”

With that he walks to his car, and you stand to face your mom.

“What were you two doing?” she asks.

You shrug. “Just talking.”

“He’s a nice boy,” she says with a knowing smile. “But, you know, the Kindaichi’s son has been away at university at Cornell. You know, your father’s old alma mater. And he’s on the road to joining your father’s company.”

“That’s nice,” you hum, trying your best to avoid the conversation altogether.

“I’m just saying, that’s the kind of man your father and I want for you. So we think you should give Yutaro a chance, okay?”

You simply nod along as she speaks, trying not to blow your cover and expose your and Akaashi’s relationship. This appears to be good enough for her as she retreats back inside soon after, leaving you to ponder.

You aren’t thinking about your future or what kind of man you want for yourself right now. At this point, the only thing you know is that you want to date Akaashi - even if your parents don’t approve. Their opinion of Akaashi isn’t really clear to you, but what you do know is that in some way, they judge his home life.

He doesn’t share much of it with you, but you know his life isn’t easy. He doesn’t have much, and everything he does have is the product of hard work. He definitely isn’t away at a prestigious school and there would be no well-paying suit-and-tie job waiting for him in a few years, either, no handy contacts to help slide him into a junior partner position at a family friend’s company.

But do those facts make him less desirable than someone with more money in their pockets?

You know your parents have good intentions, they mean well, they only ever wanted the best for you. But to you, the best has never meant smart or rich - the best always meant down to earth, caring, personable, supportive and encouraging. Akaashi is all of that plus more.

Even so, you know you have to put on a show for your parents’ sake - or rather, for Akaashi’s sake.

And the next day, that’s exactly what you do.

You aren’t able to talk to Akaashi much at the party because your parents are too busy basically trying to sell you to the Kindaichi’s, but after about an hour or so you’re able to get away from them. You grab Akaashi and make a break for it, trying your best not to get spotted.

You bring Akaashi around to the front porch and sit in the same places you sat the day before.

“This is the worst,” you say, covering your face with both hands.

“At least you look nice.”

You sigh. “Mom forced me to wear this dress. Apparently red is Cornell’s school color or something.”

“He really goes to Cornell?”

“Yeah. And it definitely shows in his bland as fuck personality.”

Akaashi nods. “Are you considering…”

“What do you mean?” You look over at him. “Not in a million years. I don’t care how much money he has.”

“Your parents seem to like him, though.”

“Well, we both know who I like. And he doesn’t go to Cornell. And I’m going to tell them that.”

“You’re what?”

“Y/N - there you are, I’ve been looking all over. Aren’t you going to tell Yutaro goodbye?”

You turn and look at your dad. “Do I have to?”

“You need to make a good first impression -”

“Okay, I’ll be there in a minute.”

When your dad reluctantly walks away, Akaashi grabs your arm.

“You can’t tell them -”

“Why not? You’re great at what you do, if they fire you then you can get a job almost anywhere else - and if they don’t approve, I don’t care.”

“Y/N -”

“Keiji, I want to take us more seriously.”

Akaashi closes his eyes and shakes his head. And you don’t want to stress him out with this - you know he already has a lot going on.

But if he doesn’t want to tell them now, will he ever? Will he choose to keep your relationship a secret forever? And will you always have to settle for it?

You don’t know - nor do you really have the time to think about it right now.

“Okay. Sorry. I won’t tell them anything.”

With that, you get up and go back to the backyard where your parents are waiting expectantly. Akaashi isn’t far behind you.

He’d been feeling awkward the entire party. And having to watch you, dressed up nicely for another guy, faking interest and forcing smiles - it just makes him feel shit, especially because if he could just get over his fears of judgement then you wouldn’t have to deal with this stupid charade.

But he also has to admit to an even more powerful emotion: he’s jealous. He realizes that he wants to be the guy your parents are rooting for, he wants to be the one they believe could take care of their daughter, he wants to be the one you dress up for. But he doesn’t even know if his community college had school colors. And he does know that your parents would never accept him as a match for their daughter.

But he’ll be damned if he’s gonna lose you to some goofy-looking guy whose most interesting characteristic is that they go to a prestigious school - and just watching the boy awkwardly trying to touch your shoulder pisses him off. Can’t he see you shying away?

‘Cornell’ tries again; Akaashi sees you flinch.

That does it.

“It’d be a nice day for a drive, don’t you think?” he hears as he approaches you both.

“…yeah, sure,” you reply, brushing your hair behind your ear. You aren’t even making eye contact with the guy - Ivy League apparently isn’t smart enough to take the hint.

Once he’s close enough, Akaashi puts his hand on the small of your back. “Hey, Y/N.”

You send him a grateful look for the interruption, but the guy in front of you only looks annoyed.

“Excuse me - who are you? I don’t think we were introduced.”

The guy’s fake politeness only added fuel to the fire.

“Akaashi.”

“You can call me Kindaichi - or Yutaro.”

He holds his hand out, and Akaashi doesn’t shake it.

“Look, no offense, but I don’t think my girlfriend is all that interested. Try not being so oblivious.”

With that, he takes your hand and leads you away over to the empty patio.

“Were you jealous, Keiji?”

“Shut up.”

“Just admit it!” you laugh.

He rolls his eyes and refuses to admit anything - even though he knows you’re right.

You tug on his hand; he turns and looks at you slowly. You see the exhilaration mixed with anxiety in his eyes. It matches what you feel in your heart.

“That’s the first person we’ve told about our relationship, by the way.”

–

Later that night, Akaashi texts you and tells you he’s done keeping things secret - he’s ready to be more serious about the relationship, too. You agree to tell your parents the next morning.

Akaashi proceeds to demand that you call him when you’re finished with the conversation; when you do finally call him, he spends at least two minutes anxiously asking questions - you can’t get a word in.

“…are they disappointed? Do they want you to date someone better? With more money? Shit - do I even still have a job?”

“Do you want an answer, or do you just want to keep asking questions?”

His answer is a sigh, and there’s a long silence before you tell him how things went.

“…you know they already knew?”

“They… what?”

“We didn’t do a good job at hiding things, apparently,” you laugh. “And they both talked it over last night, and they agree you’re probably better for me than anyone else.”

“You mean I was worried for nothing?”

“Yeah, babe. Oh, also, dad says you have a lot of yard work to do Thursday, so you should get here early.”

“Sure.”

“Wait - get here extra early, and we can have breakfast together.”

He snorts. “By early, you mean noon, right? I know you like getting your sleep -”

“Shut up!”

—

That Thursday, you wait impatiently for your boyfriend to arrive - you stand at the door to keep a look-out for him. When you see his car pull into your driveway, you quickly run outside.

“Keiji, they bloomed!”

“The flowers we planted?”

“Yeah, come on, you have to see them!”

You pull him around the house to the flowerbeds, where dozens of red and orange marigolds are freshly bloomed.

“You were worried about them for nothing,” you say. “Growing flowers is easy.”

“We all know I worry too much, you don’t have to bring it up anymore.”

His words make both of you laugh, and you stand there together looking at the flowers for a while.

“Aren’t they pretty?”

“They are,” he replies. Standing behind you, he wraps his arms around you, resting his chin on your shoulder so he can still see the flowers.

“What should we plant next year?”

“Hm… something bigger. A bush, maybe?”

You nod in agreement before leading him back inside to have breakfast - your parents will be joining you, after which he’ll get on with his chores for the day. He’s surprised at how comfortable he feels around your parents, how nothing feels different. He was worried for nothing - he’d have to remember to stop worrying so much.

But next year, when the two of you plant rose bushes, he can’t stop worrying about whether they’d bloom or not - they took a while, much longer than the marigolds. But all that worrying was worth it for the day he came over to find you sat on the porch, holding a red rose.

“I think all your worrying helps them grow.”

With a sigh and a roll of his eyes he replies, “I think you’re right. For once, anyways.”

He decides marigolds are easier, though. And that’s what you’d go with from now on.

#akaashi keiji #akaashi keiji x reader #akaashi x reader #haikyuu one shot #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu x reader #fluff #scenario #if u read that whole thing thank you asdfjlg

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satonthelotuspier · 4 years

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I'm seeing prompts on your site and does that mean you are accepting them right now? I've never requested a prompt before and I don't know what to do? But if I'm doing it right I'd really like to see 13 for XueXiao from the bodyguard au prompt list? Fluffy or angsty, as you please. Am I doing this right?

OK so Im being obvious, but this contains XueXiao.

Modern Bodyguard AU so none of the complications of canon apply.

Now the disclaimers are out of the way, I have to apologise to the very patient @amaskinamirror bc this took so much longer to write than I expected. The reason being most of my prompt fics end up around the 1k-1.4k word mark and this kept going and kept going because there was a story there. It came in around the 4.5k work mark. Think of it as added value, unless you hate it in which case it’s not ;)

Pompts from this post here

Part 2 now available here

Xue Yang is the enfant terrible of the music world and his manager has pretty much had enough of his shitty behaviour. Features a thorny Xue Yang shaped by the worlds opinions of him, and a hardass yet caring Xiao Xingchen who maybe might just start to see beyond the lies.

Possible triggers/warnings: Also features swearing, man-handling, use of a date rape drug, minor injury and blood. Luckily XXC is there to save the day in all situations.

Xue Yang was woken up from a deep, no doubt alcohol-induced, sleep to the feeling of cold water being splashed in his face.

He shot upright coughing and spluttering and wiping water out of his eyes, trying to process what the hell had happened. The unconscious bodies around him all started to stir and groan back to lucidity.

Xue Yang followed the long line of the leg in front of him up to eventually meet a pair of dark eyes staring down at him without expression.

“What the fuck?” he demanded and tried to get up but someone he didn’t even remember the name of was laid across his legs.

It had been another party. One where they’d drunk hard and passed out before dawn some time; he didn’t know half the people here. That had never stopped him. Being the enfant terrible of the music industry took both time, effort and commitment.

The tall man bent down to extricate him, then yanked him to his feet.

“You have rehearsals in ninety minutes. Get showered, you smell like a brewery” a garment bag was pushed into his hands then he was waved in the direction of the hotel suite’s bathroom.

“Excuse me, but just who the fuck are you?” honestly his head felt a little woolly still from the after-effect of the alcohol he’d been drinking, but he was sure he didn’t know who this man was or what he was doing in his hotel suite.

“Your Fairy Godmother, Cinderella, now go get a shower, you’re wasting time”

Xue Yang grabbed hold of the collar of his jacket, “Don’t bullshit me”

The hand that clamped around his wrist was steel-like, “Your new security. Your manager sends his regards. I won’t tell you to go and shower again”

“Firstly, if you are security you are not my boss, so you can stop with the ordering me around like I’m your little bitch, secondly, you are my security? I’m sure if a duckling gets too close you’ll do a great job, otherwise…” he was going to push the other away, sure because of his willowy frame it would be easy. Quite how he ended up in an armlock and being dragged to the bathroom he didn’t know. He bit his tongue to stifle the cry of pain; no way would he utter the noise aloud. “Who the fuck do you think you are?” he snarled as the other kept going into the bathroom.

“I’ve already explained. I’m not going to repeat myself” the man opened the shower door, pushed Xue Yang into the cubicle and pushed the on button.

Of course Xue Yang never learned his lesson; he launched himself at the other only to bounce off the cubicle door as the other shut it behind him, holding it closed.

“New world order, xiao-Xue, get used to being my little bitch” the other grinned as Xue Yang punched the glass then yelled at the pain in his hand, “Clean up, I don’t want to be forced to come in there and clean you up myself”

***

Xue Yang curled himself up as small as possible on the back seat of the car; he was in high sulk. After calling his manager to demand an explanation of what was going on Jin Guangyao had told him in no uncertain terms he’d better get used to the idea of Xiao Xingchen being around. His new security was not only there to provide for his personal safety after a spate of disturbing mail (more disturbing than the usual run of the mill threats at least), but to whip him into some kind of shape as Jin Guangyao was convinced his terrible behaviour, bad reputation and general personality was about to lose them some very large contracts.

Everyone loved a bad boy in theory, but when it began to affect his ability to make his management company money then they were definitely going to act to protect their asset.

And that had come in the form of Xiao Xingchen, who looked as gentle and fragile as an orchid but who had already handed Xue Yang his ass once today already.

“A-Qing, I need breakfast” Xue Yang whined at his assistant as his stomach rumbled for the fourth time.

“You shouldn’t have upset the new bodyguard then” she mocked him quietly, and he retreated even more, pulling the hood of his jacket up and wrapping his arms around his knees as A-Qing took pity on him and leaned forward to ask the driver to stop at a nearby coffee shop.

They did, and A-Qing and the driver returned with coffees for all and a bag full of muffins.

Lao-Xia, the driver, and A-Qing had been with Xue Yang long enough to not meet his gaze as they started on their own food; Xiao Xingchen had no such warning; he was too busy goggling at Xue Yang who had made his own muffin disappear like a magician with a rabbit.

“Are you going to eat that?” Xue Yang asked, pointing at the baked bun in Xiao Xingchen’s hand.

He simply offered it over; perhaps surprised at the demonstration of the speed at which a muffin could be demolished without trace.

The second one followed the first in quick order and Xue Yang froze as the other reached over to brush the crumbs that had stuck to the corner of his mouth away with a thumb.

“You don’t want the Paparazzi to catch that” he said simply before turning in his seat to look out of the windscreen and sip at his coffee.

Xue Yang curled back in on himself and held his ridiculously sweet iced coffee to his chest.

“You eat too much sugar” Xiao Xingchen told him as Lao-Xia started the car and set off driving to the studio, “You need something to give you energy for the first meal of the day”

“Good luck with that, he functions on pure sugar and supplements” A-Qing mocked and Xue Yang shot her an annoyed look.

***

Xue Yang didn’t know why he was surprised the next morning when he was awoken by a solid shake to the shoulder.

He hadn’t been able to avoid the other to sneak off to party last night so he wasn’t hung over but that didn’t mean he was any more amenable to the idea of waking up.

“Come on Sleeping Beauty, you have to be at your first interview in an hour”

Interviews. His mortal enemy. The thing he hated most in the world. And he was still no better at dealing with them than he had been as a fresh face on the music scene, where the press had crucified him, thrown every painful fact of his past in his face and then painted him as a troubled bad boy with a temper; a role he’d eventually just given up fighting against and embraced.

He threw the blankets over his head; maybe if he just went back to sleep the interview would disappear.

The blankets were thrown back.

“Dude, what the fuck?” he demanded, was he allowed no privacy at all anymore?

“Get up” Xiao Xingchen jerked his head towards the bathroom.

“Fuck off. I’m not going” he reached out to push the other away.

It went about as well as yesterday had for him; he ended up face down on the bed with his arm locked up between his shoulder blades.

“Are you going to learn any time soon? I mean, kudos for persistence but lose points for stupidity. Now, last chance to get up on your own, otherwise I’ll throw you over my shoulder and you can go dressed like that”

Xue Yang wasn’t sure he believed the other was strong enough to actually carry him out of the hotel room, but he daren’t take the chance he might be dragged out kicking and screaming and dressed in his ratty old t-shirt and shorts.

“Fine, yes, I’m getting up. Let me go, please” as a street child he’d learned to beg prettily and it wasn’t a skill he was averse to using if he needed to, to survive. It didn’t need to be sincere, it just needed to sound it, to be calculated to pull on the other’s heart strings.

It didn’t seem to affect Xiao Xingchen, but he was released nonetheless.

***

Xue Yang of course arrived on time for his first interview, (there were three in total scheduled for today), as far as they went it wasn’t particularly gruelling for him, but he was fully aware he was a mess by the end of it; he’d probably come across like he was on drugs, but it wasn’t like that would be the first, second or third time the rumour would circulate in relation to him.

He knew Xiao Xingchen eyed him in consideration, but he ignored it; he didn’t have the presence of mind to survive the next two interviews and worry about what his new security agent was judging him for today.

He was much worse by the end of the second; he had been left alone a sitting room of the hotel the interview’s had been arranged at and he lowered his head into his hands, trying to even out his breathing and calm himself. His professionalism would be questioned even further if he failed to complete the last interview, or screwed up during it.

He felt the couch dip next to him, “Here” he looked up, poison on his tongue ready to be spit at Xiao Xingchen when he realised the other held out one of those large chocolate chip cookies in a napkin. There was also iced coffee sat on the table in front of him.

“Just relax, empty your head, and focus on the cookie” Xiao Xingchen informed him; raising an eyebrow as Xue Yang didn’t immediately accept the confectionery from him.

He took it with tentative thanks; and it vanished almost immediately once he’d decided to accept the gesture. Once he’d gotten the sugary coffee inside him too he felt much better.

***

Despite his trash reputation he wasn’t late for a single appointment over the next weeks; Jin Guangyao assured him it was perfectly alright to project the rebel for the masses but when you played the brat with the people in the business you’d soon be blacklisted; a risk he wasn’t willing to take with Xue Yang.

Xue Yang hadn’t managed to get near alcohol or a party in that time due to Xiao Xingchen’s hawk eyes and iron control.

Since the second morning though instead of being woken up with a bucket of water to the face or bickering the other had started showing up with a sweet pastry and a staggeringly sugary iced coffee which he traded off for Xue Yang eating better at other mealtimes.

Overall it didn’t seem Xue Yang had a moment of time where the other wasn’t somewhere close, controlling everything, keeping a watchful eye out.

And it bothered Xue Yang; he didn’t get used to the feeling of Xiao Xingchen being there like he’d been assured he would. He was still hyper aware of him, and he didn’t necessarily think it was because he was intimidated, despite the fact they’d had a few more altercations, none of which ended well for Xue Yang.

***

He tried to ditch his new security for his monthly visit to the orphanage his charity had built and ran; the less people who knew about it the better. Of course he couldn’t shake the other off so he had to attend followed by Xiao Xingchen, and explain to the children who the tall ge was. He was a great hit with them, and although Xue Yang pretended to be annoyed at Xiao Xingchen getting all the attention that the youngsters usually showered on him secretly he was entertained as he watched the other romp with the rough kids, or play softly with the quieter ones.

“This is the first time you’ve brought a bodyguard” he turned slightly at the sound of Tian Ying, the matron of the orphanage and the woman who’d helped bring him up in a similar institution when he had been a boy had come up beside him. “Are you in danger, xiao-Xue?”

“Of course not” he didn’t consider the crazy mail Jin Guangyao was filtering from him any more of a threat than any of the other mail he’d received in the last few years, and he definitely didn’t want her to worry about him, “They just decided I needed someone to carry my bags for me”

He didn’t have time to say much more as he was dragged into an impromptu game of football in the yard, where he and Xiao Xingchen were on opposite teams.

They played around half-heartedly until a Xiao Xingchen who was grace incarnate except apparently on a football pitch, stuck his foot out and took Xue Yang’s feet from under him and he tumbled. The fall itself wasn’t bad but he was a little grazed as they played on the yard and not grass.

Xiao Xingchen was unusually all apologies and personally saw to tending the grazes Xue Yang’s tumble had caused, despite his assurances he was absolutely fine. The touch of the other still made his pulse flutter in some odd emotion and the way Xiao Xingchen kept glancing up at him, like he’d discovered a rare and new species, was disconcerting. And pissed him off, because he could guess what it was about.

“Just don’t” he said through his teeth so no one around them could hear.

“Don’t what? Congratulate you on what you’ve built here? On what you’re doing for these kids?”

“Yes, don’t. I don’t want to hear it” he sucked a breath in at the sting of the antiseptic where Xiao Xingchen applied it to his grazes.

“Alright, whatever you want” Xiao Xingchen let it drop but he still looked at Xue Yang with something approaching admiration in his eyes.

And it was addictive, to have someone look at him like that, and not like he was trash. But then it had never bothered him before. Was it purely because it was Xiao Xingchen and he wanted to be more than trash in that man’s eyes?

“I guess you read too many gossip rags” Xue Yang sniped, “I’m not on drugs, in any weird cults, or a complete slut either”

Instead of bullshitting him and denying he’d thought anything of the kind Xiao Xingchen agreed instead, “I’m beginning to see that. Of course that doesn’t mean you don’t have a vile temper, that you don’t ever learn your lessons, or that you don’t sulk like a baby when I tell you no”

He was about to make one of his usual responses when the game of football moved closer and he clamped his lips closed on the curse.

There was a knowing, teasing look in the other’s eyes and as Xue Yang looked down into that finely-boned face he realised why the other’s good opinion had meant so much to him; why he was on tenterhooks whenever Xiao Xingchen was near, which was all the time at the moment, and why his pulse fluttered like his veins were full of butterflies whenever the other touched him. He was in love with Xiao Xingchen.

Well fuck.

***

Xue Yang paced around his hotel bedroom, feeling like a caged tiger. He wanted to destroy something. No, he really wanted a stiff drink.

Was he a masochist? What had made him fall in love with a man who knocked him around for fun? No of course that was unfair, Xiao Xingchen only ever restrained him and only when Xue Yang attacked first. Still, it must definitely be masochism.

Or Stockholm Syndrome; he had been at the mercy of the other, a virtual prisoner, for weeks now.

“I need a drink” he exclaimed aloud; and so he formulated a plan.

He took a quick shower and changed into something black and sexy and flashy, then he he called reception and asked for a taxi cab, and that they ring up to let him know when it had arrived.

He waited by his bedroom door, peeping through the tiniest opening for the phone to ring back; and as Xiao Xingchen got up from the couch to answer it he dashed out and past as silently as possible to give himself as much of a head-start as he could manage.

The doors of the elevator were closing just as he saw Xiao Xingchen enter the hallway and yell at him in rage.

He was in the taxi and away; his freedom all the sweeter for being carefully wrought.

***

Xue Yang was beginning to feel pleasantly buzzed and he was chatting quite happily with the guy who stood next to him at the bar of the VIP lounge. He’d been greeted by the usual crowd who hadn’t seen him around for the weeks he’d been kept prisoner, (OK maybe that was a little dramatic), but he’d never seen this guy before and new people were interesting.

Although he was beginning to get uncomfortable at how the other stared at him intently after he’d finished his drink.

He excused himself to “visit the bathroom” when life finally caught up with him. Life of course being Xiao Xingchen.

He pushed Xue Yang up against the wall of the corridor to the bathrooms, which was surprisingly currently empty.

“Hey” Xue Yang protested, although with alcohol relaxing his muscles it hadn’t really hurt as he hadn’t tensed for impact. Actually being pinned against the wall by the man you’d fallen in love with was quite nice. He had zero experience, bar some awkward kisses with a girl who’d known as little as him when he was younger, but apparently being manhandled was beginning to be something he enjoyed. Maybe because it was Xiao Xingchen though.

“I’d advise you to keep really quiet, I’m this close to spanking the living hell out of you” and really he’d never seen Xiao Xingchen’s deceptively delicate face so twisted in anger.

But of course alcohol impaired one’s judgement; to dangerous levels sometimes.

“Is that what you like?” he asked.

“What?” Xiao Xingchen was confused, his hand tightened on Xue Yang’s collar as if he suspected the other was planning something.

“Spanking, do you get off on it?”

“You really have no fucking self-preservation instincts do you?” Xiao Xingchen demanded and if Xue Yang hadn’t been so muddled due to the reaction of his body to the other, and the alcohol humming through his bloodstream he might have realised how much trouble he was in; he had never heard the other curse before in all their weeks together.

Instead he gave in to the urge pounding at the base of his brain, unable to control it anymore. He threw his arms around Xiao Xingchen’s neck and kissed him.

Well, it was clumsy and unskilled, but it probably still counted as a kiss.

He was pushed back against the wall unceremoniously, “What do you think you’re doing? You are my client. You are drunk. You are so out of line right now”

Of course he hadn’t really expected a different response. He somehow managed to pull himself free and stumbled back out into the VIP lounge.

Actually he seemed to be more drunk than he’d realised. He was suddenly barely able to control his body and he felt like his head was full of cotton wool. A hand touched his back, “Oh, you look terrible. Do you need to lie down? Should we get you out of here?” he was vaguely aware the voice wasn’t Xiao Xingchen’s, it belonged to the guy he’d been talking to at the bar, as he was guided towards the door but he really did need to lie down right now. He was about to nod his agreement when the supporting hand was violently removed.

“What the fuck did you give him?” that was Xiao Xingchen, although he couldn’t work out what the question meant. He felt the iron-grip of his security’s hand and he was pulled close to the other; he recognised the familiar scent of his aftershave and it set his mind at rest.

***

It had been days since the nightclub incident; and he’d managed to act completely clueless about the entire evening. In honesty there were huge swathes of Xue Yang’s memory that were completely blank, but he was cursed with vague recollection of him kissing Xiao Xingchen.

He wanted to die from embarrassment. He wanted to mope around at the rejection. He had to pretend like he was completely clueless about everything that happened though and let the other just write it off as a side effect of the Flunitrazepam the random guy at the nightclub had put in his drink.

He had been in touch with Jin Guangyao and begged the other to find him new security. He couldn’t carry on being around Xiao Xingchen all the time, feeling like he did, and scared to death he’d do something stupid to reveal his feelings in a way that couldn’t be pretended away like that stupid kiss.

He had faithfully promised he’d keep up the good behaviour Xiao Xingchen had bullied into him so long as Jin Guangyao replaced him with someone who wouldn’t cause Xue Yang such pain to have close.

His manager had promised to at least look into it.

Xue Yang didn’t realise he’d been wool-gathering in his head and managed to separate slightly from Xiao Xingchen and A-Qing until he saw a face in the crowd that made him uncomfortable.

He didn’t recognise the man but the fear that skittered down his spine was very real; he turned to try and get closer to Xiao Xingchen who called his name and dashed over; the flash he caught from the corner of his eye had him raising his arm in self-protection. He was dragged out of the way and thrown to the floor, catching nothing but a glancing blow as Xiao Xingchen took out the threat.

It was all very chaotic after that as the crowd helped keep the attacker captive until the police could arrive, and ambulance was also called as both he and Xiao Xingchen had taken knife wounds.

His was a cut to the arm that didn’t particularly bother him, it was the wound on Xiao Xingchen’s side that scared the life out of him. He used his folded jacket to keep pressure on the injury.

A-Qing fluttered around trying to get him to let someone else take over so they could do the same for his arm but he just waved her off; it was nothing.

“You really have no fucking self-preservation instincts” Xiao Xingchen told him in annoyance; luckily he seemed fully conscious at the moment.

“I know. I‘m sorry. I’m so sorry. I’ll be better from now on” he felt close to tears but fought them back brutally.

Xiao Xingchen nodded at what he said and looked into his eyes, “At least you’ll get your new bodyguard now, silver linings right?” he reached out with his left hand to thumb away one of the tears that Xue Yang hadn’t realised had escaped.

Fucking Jin Guangyao and his stupid big mouth.

“It’s for the best, xiao-Xue, in light of everything”

Which meant Xiao Xingchen was aware of his feelings and agreed the best way to deal with it was to move on. Well there went his dignity.

“You’re too precious for this cruel world in the limelight, anyway” Xue Yang tried to mock, his voice a little strangled.

“Which of us do you mean?” Xiao Xingchen asked and it was both an arrow to his heart and salve to his ego to hear such an opinion from the other.

He was glad when the paramedics had arrived and he was shuffled away to have his own wound dealt with so he could save some face. If the paramedic thought the tears were a reaction to the pain or shock of being attacked then good.

They were taken to a nearby hospital to be treated. Xue Yang’s cut needed a few stitches so he was ready to be sent away reasonably quickly, but he stayed in the waiting room until A-Qing came back to report Xiao Xingchen was fine, he’d be kept in for a few days as his would was deeper and nastier but he was stable and in no danger.

“Aren’t you going to visit before we go?” she asked, but he shook his head. And honestly she was smart enough that she probably knew what was going on and why he didn’t want to impose on the other. “Alright, lets get you back to the hotel. I think Jin Guangyao will be waiting, unfortunately, I can’t do anything to put him off this time”

Xue Yang sighed and accepted his fate.

One Month Later

The stage lights faded for the last time and he was finally able to slip offstage. He was lathered with sweat and completely exhausted. Xue Yang’s knife wound hadn’t been particularly deep or damaging but it was surprising how much it had knocked him down. He still tired out so much more easily than he was used to, but he hadn’t wanted to put this concert off, preferring to get it out of the way so he could take a holiday for a couple of weeks and use it to think about the next steps in his career, and indeed life, with nothing hanging over his head.

The man who had attacked them had been the same who had drugged his drink in the nightclub, although due to the effects Xue Yang couldn’t identify him; it had been lucky his subconscious had reacted to the man though, or it could have been so much worse.

He accepted the towel A-Qing held out for him as he met his entourage in the back stage passages and dried off, pulling on the coat she had also brought him.

There was an oddly smug look on her face and he questioned her.

“Nothing, just something funny is all” she refused to be drawn on what caused her to smile so.

They made it back to the dressing rooms and he was bundled inside.

He wondered, uncharitably, if she was on drugs.

“No rush, your car won’t be here for quite some time yet” A-Qing told him as she shut the door behind him and he turned to find his street clothes. Except he wasn’t alone.

Oh.

Suddenly he daren’t move from the doorway, not sure whether to tear it open and flee or move into the room and act like he wasn’t bothered in the slightest.

In the end he compromised, did nothing and stayed exactly where he was.

“Why are you here?” he tried to keep his voice steady, and luckily it didn’t shake too much.

“Why do you think?” Xiao Xingchen asked him.

#mdzs #mdzs fanfic #mdzs fic #xuexiao #xue yang #xiao xingchen #Modern AU #Bodyguard AU #Blood cw #injury cw #date-rape-drug cw #pining #one-sided feelings?

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touchmycoat · 4 years

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um, hello! if you wouldn't mind, a request: what do you think about sabo who sorta has ptsd/anxiety/sometimes finds it hard to shut up his thoughts and Sleep and marco gets what it's like to find it hard to sleep and ace knows how hard it is to get your mistakes and regrets to shut up, and the two of them working him over to help him get out of his own head?

Hello anon~! A lovely, lovely prompt, thank you so much. I do adore vulnerable!Sabo and Ace & Marco taking care of him.

Second Chances ‘verse, MAS, Rated T for generalized trauma and vague references to violence

There was never any rhyme nor reason, the nights Marco would come awake and find Sabo just staring at Ace with a hand curled around Ace’s wrist.

The first time Marco caught him at it, Sabo had given him such a glare. Not the oh-that-sounds-dreadful-challenge-accepted glare or the you-did-something-so-stupid-that-I-have-to-mask-my-concern-with-irateness glare that was more the norm these days, but the genuine, I-will-kill-you-and-then-myself-if-you-tell-anyone emotion of days long past.

He needs to keep a hand on Ace’s pulse, was Marco’s last bleary thought that very first time, before he rolled right back around to sleep, and to give Sabo the privacy he so clearly craved.

Ace didn’t often wake up on nights like this, because he was a deep sleeper to begin with, and Sabo was dreadfully good at keeping himself still-but-not-too-still, attentive without the intensive fixation that would wake up anyone with decent battle instincts. The only reason Marco was ever woken up was decades of shifts in intensive care; the slightest change in breathing pattern, the slightest twitch of distress had Marco coming awake in an instant, all doctorly attention.

But it’s not like that doctorly attention did anyone much good, if Sabo wouldn’t let him get within fifty feet to put any healing into practice.

Marco ended up asking Ace about it, because it’s wasn’t pride that had stayed his tongue for so long. The one night though, that Marco saw the smear of red on Sabo’s teeth, he knew something had to be done. Instead of blinking once and rolling over like he’s done so many times before, that night, Marco glared back. He let Sabo know that enough was enough, and he was forcing the issue if Sabo wasn’t going to resolve it himself.

By daybreak Sabo was gone, leaving Marco to bring the issue and the awkward question—hey, I know he loves you and all but do you think I might’ve scared Sabo off for good last night?—up to Ace himself.

He did what? Pulling a stricken expression, Ace had jumped immediately into his boots and on his feet, headed for the door. And it’s not like Marco could even dream that he knew better about Sabo than Ace, but he understood the value of a second opinion—so he stalled Ace with a hand on wrist. Over pulse point.

Do you think confronting him about it is the best solution yoi? It was a genuine question, and Ace’s guilty furrow of his brow was a clear answer. So Marco asked his next question, and do you think he would just… leave?

Of course not, Ace answered sharply. He wouldn’t. He won’t. He has to come back.

Then can we afford to wait? Give him space?

…If, Ace finally said after genuine consideration, he doesn’t show within 20 hours, I’m going after him.

Marco made himself not take Ace’s first person singular personally.

But it worked out fine, because Sabo actually came back by hour fifteen. Night had settled again by then, and at a time when the two or three of them would typically be getting ready to sleep, Sabo opened the bedroom door to Marco and Ace still fully geared up to head out in a moment’s notice. Ace made a beeline for Sabo and clasped his sworn brother’s shoulders in his hands, and Marco didn’t try to see either of their expressions, blocked from his line of sight.

It’s fine, Sabo mumbled, all his stiff lines immediately relaxing into Ace’s touch. It just happens.

What can I do? was Ace’s immediate question. It had been the one on Marco’s mind too, in that precise trajectory—what could Ace do? Sabo’s made it more than clear that this wasn’t something he’d welcome Marco’s interference in. Should I—?

What, not sleep? Sabo snorted. Nah, it’s actually better if you’re sleeping. It’s more calming, I swear.

It, Marco figured, must refer to Ace’s pulse, Ace’s breathing. So what Marco witnessed wasn’t the symptoms, but the attempted pain alleviation.

(An attempt that was still failing, if the fact that Sabo was chewing holes straight through the inside of his mouth was any indication.)

You really don’t have to feel guilty about that, Ace said in anguish, both for Sabo and at himself, for having nothing but such an obvious statement to make. It was as if the most straightforward remedy provoked an allergic reaction in Sabo, all his systems rejecting what sounded like the simplest truth to Marco’s ears.

I just need to know you’re alive. This Sabo said so softly that Marco knew he was not meant to have heard. So he ducked his head and turned further, trying to give them privacy while simultaneously consider a secondary course of treatment. He had made up his mind about changing things, and any doctor worth his salt wouldn’t let a little thing like allergies get in the way of healing. So Marco let them murmur to each other, standing right there in the middle of their bedroom, while he stared hard at his lone bookshelf digging for an answer.

It took another few nights spent together for the attack to happen again. Or perhaps, for Sabo to slip up enough to wake Marco again.

There was, Marco thought as he noted Sabo’s hand over Ace’s wrist again, as he watched the soft motions of Sabo’s jaw as Sabo chewed on inner cheek tissue, something oddly ironic about the roles at play here. It was Sabo who’d “died” in their childhoods, but now, it was Sabo who feared (in such a visceral way) Ace’s death. Perhaps it had to do with processing; after all, Ace and Luffy have had much longer to come to terms with Sabo’s death, whereas Sabo learned of every way he’s lost and could still lose Ace all within, what, a couple of hours? It’s only been a few months since then—enough time for wounds to heal, sure, but also enough time for deep psychological trauma to fester and surface.

Perhaps it also had to do with Sabo himself, and the return of his past identity. He was Ace and Luffy’s brother, but that deeply treasured, deeply engrained marker of existence had been powerless against his amnesia. Perhaps it left Sabo feeling unmoored on multiple fronts, where on one hand he couldn’t reconcile who he was with who he had been, and because of that he couldn’t quite accept the continuity of events that would lead to Ace’s life not-lost, since in his mind he wasn’t far enough away from the Sabo-who-never-remembered and therefore Ace wasn’t far enough away from death and—

A potential solution coagulated in Marco’s mind. Sabo’s glare tried to warn him off again, but they didn’t accuse doctors of God Complexes for no reason, Marco guessed. It was in his training, his nurtured nature by this point to just try, dammit. Better than letting Sabo stay mired alone in the incisor-riddled hurt.

Marco got out of bed. Since everything, they’ve mostly kept to this same sleeping configuration: Ace in the middle, Marco and Sabo bracketing. It was comfortable. It was convenient. Nobody’s had any complaints.

Sabo stiffened now, as Marco left his side of the bed, circling around to the other. The intention was obvious, Marco’s motive less so. However, maybe in the interest of Ace’s continued sleep, maybe in concession to his own unsustainable upset, Sabo didn’t say a word. He didn’t shove Marco’s hands away, and even followed the gestured direction to scoot himself and Ace forward so that Marco could relocate into what had been Sabo’s position in bed. Now, Marco was spooning Sabo was spooning Ace.

Carefully, Marco reached his free hand over Sabo’s body, and took hold of Sabo’s hand, the one that was still holding onto Ace’s. He pressed his fingers to Sabo’s pulse.

Sabo stopped breathing. It was only for a few seconds, but that was enough for Ace to begin shifting in dismay. Pressed front to Sabo’s back, Marco could feel the moment Sabo forced himself to start breathing in a deceptively regular rhythm again, until Ace settled once more. Marco could trace the speeding and forced moderation of Sabo’s heartbeat throughout the entire process.

He could hear the very-real stutters in Sabo’s inhale when he accepted what Marco was trying to communicate. Marco only hoped that Sabo was hearing something close to the message’s intended meaning: you’re alive. You survived, and so has Ace.

In Marco’s grip, Sabo’s hand tightened around Ace once more. Marco thought he could almost feel Ace’s pulse conducted through Sabo. Two proofs of life, slowly syncing. From his vantage point Marco could see Sabo’s jaw directly in front of him—tension was slowly draining from the temporomandibular joint as incisors retracted from skin.

Thinking now only of Sabo’s words— it’s actually better if you’re sleeping, I swear—Marco made his own breathing ease too, closed his eyes and dropped to sleep.

(In the morning he would wake to Ace’s quietly happy grin. Sabo was startlingly between them and even more startlingly still sleeping. With a slight nod, Ace would gesture down to their hands, all of which have reconfigured in joint sleep.

(Sabo would have one hand on each of his lover’s wrists, breathing along to the pulses as he held them warmly to center mass.)

#anon #my fic #fic fill #this isn't... quite what you're looking for i think ksjnfksd but it's what came to mind #a very real fixation on making sure people you're around are still alive at any given moment oops #marcoacesabo

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writingsofmyimagination · 5 years

Photo

MARSHMALLOW

So this was for the BangtanArmyNet Writer and Content Creator Summer Exchange ‘19.

My Partner was the amazing @painfulbutsweet who created the amazing gifs and footer you see before you. Was truly a pleasure collaborating and I hope I gave you the Dom Jimin you deserve :P. WE SMASHED IT!

Our Scenario/keyword was: SUMMER CAMP

• Pairing: Jimin x Reader • Genre: Summer Camp AU

Warnings: Smut (Dom Jimin), BDSM themes (restraints, orgasm denial, spanking) , swearing, drinking games|

• Words 4697 • Please Enjoy!! You too @sibbyjin

“Are you ever going to have me on your team” Jungkook whined playfully at you

“Are you ever going to stop trying to convince me to sleep with you?” you served straight back, your response halted his growing smirk. The smirk carried on, but across Jimin’s face who was stood next to you.

When Jungkook told you that one of his friends wanted to apply for the team leader role opposite you, you were hesitant. Jungkook as amazing at dance he was and as brilliant as he was with the young teens at the camp he was still a bit of a cocky shit and the thought of having ‘one of his friends’ working with him seemed like the ingredients of a chaotic concoction you’d rather not willingly drink.

All those doubts however, disappeared within minutes of Jimin of walking into the hall. Instead of the minimal swag Jungkook holds himself with Jimin walked in with nothing but grace and such a soft smile illuminating the flawless skin he was blessed with. His hair scruffily parted just off centre, the dark fringe hung over his olive skin with perfect contrast. The fluidity through his body when he danced was un-matchable, a delicate flower allowing the wind to take it where it dictated. It was mesmerising. His face was also incredibly expressive when he danced, you definitely saw hints of a duality; when his moves were more of the erotic kind, his kind eyes definitely flashed with a primal nuance.

Even talking to him he was polite. While everyone was setting up the camp for a few days before the kids arrived you learned he was incredibly attentive to very small shifts in people’s moods or behaviour. You ended up telling your friends he was an absolute marshmallow and now that was his nickname in their mind and yours and it also suited his hair colour which had changed to a pastel pink since his interview.

“Right guys!” you spoke loudly to be heard over the murmuring of 30 youngsters.

“Now you’re split into teams I’ll take the left group and Jimin you can take the right group” he nodded.

“One of the goals this week is to create a dance piece which will be performed at the end of week in front of your parents and the best choreography group will be chosen by our guest judges; more importantly it’s about making friends and enjoying the activities which we will be running when the dance practice and workshops aren’t”

“As many of you know there’s quite a tradition for pranks here, and while it’s amusing to prank the other team or its counsellors please make sure you have run the idea past the counsellor or leader for your team. For my team it will be myself or Hoseok” you motioned to him and he flashed his huge smile which easily could infect everyone with his positive bubbly energy. He waved to the kids, their faces buzzing with the fact that pranking is actually encouraged here.

“And for team B it will Jimin and Jungkook”.

“The other counsellors will be around to assist with the non-dance related activities as well. Any problems or worries you can come to any one of us understand?”

You received a unanimous mumble of yeses and nods.

“Right lets split up then, first task is to come up with a concept then we’ll re-join for dinner.

“Don’t think that just because you’re sweet you’re not on my radar for pranks” you warned Jimin with a sugary smile.

“Oh don’t worry just because you’re pretty doesn’t mean you’re off mine either” he countered with a devils grin.

Your kids chaotically agreed on the concept of Day of the Dead. Quite a few of the kids are on their 2nd or 3rd time here so they quickly settled when they’d reacquainted with familiar faces. You were always surprised at just how focused the kids were when they needed to be.

The first of the two studios was on the left as you headed to the main camp area. On the outside it looked very much like a temporary classroom, tainted pale blue slats lining the building horizontally. A museum of moss was exhibited up the sides running through the flat top of the building. Inside it was like it had been fast forwarded 10years, soft wood flooring lined at your feet mirrors lined one wall. You’d also managed to bring in two fair sized flat screens and mounted them on the opposite wall; it’s always helpful to film and play back for the kids to evaluate their own form. There was also a generous cupboard which was home to some fitness equipment and assortment of mats. You and the others had brought in some classroom chairs and intermittently scattered them around the outline of the room; the other studio was a perfect mirror of the one you’d be working in.

“Here” Jimin had wrapped you up in a blanket and offered you a hot chocolate delivering all of the comforts you wanted, including his company. You were drenched, the latest prank victim; well it was more a kidnapping than a prank. Jungkook had steam rolled you across his shoulders while you were on a break and launched you into the lake like you weighed nothing; and fortunately for him you was wearing a white tank top and you knew he enjoyed every second of it. Once you’d retrieved your breathe back from hilarity you made definitely made sure his arm was dead for a little while.

“Thanks” It wasn’t particularly cold, the sun was set high in the sky, rays gloriously drying of the excess water from your skin. The lake on the other hand was freezing, the blood running through your vein slowed the moment you were submerged.

Jimin plonked himself down next to you as your back rested up against a tree stump.

“Your face when he chucked you” he blurted out erupting into a restrained giggle. You halfheartedly slapped his arm as a smirk emerged at your lips.

“You two need to just hurry up and sleep together already, you’re already like a married couple”

Your eyes grew offended, you inhaled deeply lungs filling with a sense of insult.

“What? No way! The only reason he’s like he is with me is because I’m the only one that probably rejects him, he can’t have me and his ego hates it. That guy will be nothing more than an annoying friend to me”

Jimin’s faces was creased with amusement, his eyebrows raising at the response.

“Well glad someone’s strong enough to friend zone him, even at Uni he’d always get what he wanted”

“Yeah? And what did you get? You’re easily on the same” you hesitated a beat “attractiveness level” you asked genuinely curious. He gave you a sideways glance accepting the compliment as you waited for his response.

“Why thank you, and I have much higher standards than JK, I like to actually have a connection with the people I sleep with” Your eyes must have glazed over

“What? He asked amused

“How are you even friends you’re complete opposites”

“Someone’s got to make sure he doesn’t get into too much trouble” he chuckled. There was short comfortable silence which was filled with calm contentment that relaxed you enough to just be at peace.

“You going to come to the fire pit later? The guys who have tomorrow morning off are dragging me to play drinking games, so this is me trying to drag you down with me”

“If it’s you then I’ll be dragged anywhere” he toyed childishly. You slapped him again with much more force this time.

“Seriously you’re such a dweeb!”

//Last class of the day//

You were engulfed in darkness yet you were almost vibrating with heavy excitement. You were doing your best to keep still, trying to avoid knocking anything and making a sound to indicate your presence. A thin strip of light crawled in from under the door as the room off from where you were came to life, you heard the scuffling of a hoard and muffled chattering noise.

Here we go you thought. You pressed your ear to the door for better audio quality.

“Mikey will you please set up the audio system” The indistinguishable chatter continued for a few moments until Mikey spoke

“Jimin it’s not working” Mikey whined.

“Okay let me have a look” You waited, patience shining through as your most redeeming quality; you heard the class steadily quieten into stillness.

A shot of loud music shocked into the room before it was snuffed out, instantaneously Jimin’s high squeal overtook the silence with the laughter of 15 knowing kids further taking over his noise. Your lips curved up, happy with the result.

He was primed

“Okay you guys settle down, are there any mats in the cupboard?” Jimin inquired.

“Yeah” a few voices answered.

Light footsteps closed you down. Your blood was rushing round so fast your head began to spin. The handle clicked and moved downwards as soon as the light hit you leapt from where you’d crouched.

Jimin’s body instinctively jumped backwards as his adrenaline spiked, the cry that you stole from his lips filled you with nothing but satisfaction, and a hell of a lot of amusement of course. His foot couldn’t quite find the floor he fell backwards cushioning his fall with his hands. Your hand shot to cover your mouth from revealing the extent of your laughter.

This was even better than you’d hoped.

You reminded yourself to massively thank Jungkook for telling you how jumpy Jimin was. The kids erupted into uncontained hysterics, you scrambled over to Jimin and took his hand and supported him as he got to his feet.

“Are…you… okay?” you managed. At this point he was chuckling away with you.

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine”

“I would say I’m sorry but I’m really not as soon as Jungkook mentioned you scared easily I just had to” you explained.

Jimin face distorted slightly when he turned and was faced with multiple phones recording the whole thing. He turned to you face even more quizzical looking for an explanation

“They knew, I asked them to scare you first, I’m kinda sorry for turning your kids against you”

“Betrayed Guys!” He shouted to the kids recovering from their hysterics.

You threw your arms round him as a form of peace, he quickly tightened the embrace accepting happily the apology.

“You are definitely going to get it now” he whispered bittersweet in your ear before letting you go.

“Counting on it” you countered, smugness brimming from your cheeks while sticking your tongue out provoking him.

The night crawled in, the crickets sprang into their chirping which was being harmonised by the crackling on the fire burning away in the middle of a triangular layout of logs.

You slumped down next to JK, you were protected from the cooling air in your grey jogging bottoms and an oversized maroon hoody.

“So how is it I’m the only girl here tonight” you inquired taking a cool boxed cider from Jungkook. Observing your company of JK, Jimin, J-hope and Jin. All looking slightly alcohol flushed.

“Chloe just went to get the marshmallows”

“Thank god, so where are we at?”

“Never have I ever” Jin replied. Your eyes rolled instantly.

“Of course”

Chloe made her way back crinkling the marshmallow bag open, and like bee’s to pollen hands flew and began to empty the bag.

“Okay erm Never Have I ever given a lap dance in crotch less underwear” Hoseok put to the group, his eyes were fixed on yours cheeky smirk burning into you knowingly.

“You’re such a dick” you scolded as you swigged your drink and swiped his arm. He knew you too well. Everyone’s eyes widened, curious.

“Never have I ever…fucked in a swimming pool” you countered with an equally devilish stare in response.

Game on

The laughter was thick through the night as the fire grew to embers.

“Truth” You requested.

“You can’t have three truths in a row it’s gotta be a dare” Jungkook blurted.

Was worth a try

“Fine, dare” you huffed, too intoxicated to put up an argument which you’d lose anyway.

“How about you give you Jimin a lap dance” Jin suggested.

1. This was a terrible idea

2. You’d learnt way too much about Jimin this evening, apparently the little cutie was way less innocent that his saccharine appearance let on

3. This was a terrible idea

4. You were going to give Jimin a lap dance

“Who doesn’t want a lap dance by a girl smelling of smoke in trackies” you joked standing up

“Someone get some music” Hoseok demanded, you and Jimin shared a glance of unreadable intention, his face was so neutral you knew he was compensating for one thing or another. The others were all clapping like amused seals waiting for the show.

🎵I'm just a bachelor, I’m looking for a partner, someone who knows how to ride🎵 (Pony – Ginuwine)

“Seriously? This isn’t magic mike!” you chuckled making an unsure way over.

“Magic Y/N” Jungkook quipped.

Your eyes grew dark focused and held onto nothing but Jimins as they shimmered with an abundance of anticipation. Other than the intermittent giggling you would say you looked pretty serious.

When your body allowed the music to direct it and your hips swayed everyone else around you bled away into nothingness. You edged closer nudging his legs open and stepped in over one his thighs, you loosely grinded and teased your hoody up exposing your stomach and stopped at the peek of your bra before erupting into reserved laughter as your cheeks flushed.

You slithered back to your seat consciously avoiding Jimins reaction, the rest clapped and wolf whistled as you held you a bottle up in acknowledgement.

“Okay JK tongue away, Jimin it’s your go truth or dare?” Jin began.

“Truth, I do not trust Jin and his dares at this point” Unanimous agreement across everyone.

“Why do you have to attack me like this” he whined in response through a laugh

“Jimin how do you feel after that?” Chloe asked

“I am not answering that” reverting back to the sweet guy everyone’s accustomed to.

“Ahh he loved it” Hoseok wailed pushing Jimin off the log, sending his drink flying and everyone into a fit of intoxicated laughter.

Well your early morning run was out, the grogginess saw to that. You’d manage to avoid any hangovers thanks to the couple of pints of water you’d forced down your neck before completely crashing in the tight single bed in one of the counsellors cabin. Sunbathing in your secret spot it is.

Your tie up black bikini was partially covered by a thin blue crop top and loose beach shorts, your hair was messily up in a ponytail freeing your neck to utilise the cooler breeze.

A brief knock.

“Come in”

“And how are you feeling this morning?” you asked a rather dopey looking Jimin.

“Surprisingly fine actually” he still sounded surprised, his blue Hawaiian shorts sat just above his knees, his sleeveless shirt gave you all preview of the side of his abs.

“What are you doing this morning?”

“I was just going to go to my sunbathing spot and sleep” the aroma of sun cream was radiating of your skin and seeped into the room.

“Mind if I tag along”

“Sure, if you’ll behave” you warned with a toy tone.

“Me behave? I wasn’t grinding on anybody’s leg last night” You exhaled a soundless chuckle and looked down at where your dignity had fallen in that second.

“Yeah, okay, erm sorry about that” you felt as if you’d just become marginally smaller and seeked solace back away from that memory.

“It’s fine, it could easily think of worse people to give me a dance” his words oddly comforted you and made you feel at ease with your alcohol driven behaviour.

“Bet JK was jealous right?” you added, Jimin laughed, hands brushing his hair away from his forehead.

Wow

“You bet he was!”

The serenity of the spot you’d frequent remained unchanged, the lake pooled into the circular area surrounded by a parasol of green flushed trees. A wooden dock stabilised by sturdy pillars of wood rested down the middle of the seemingly isolated lake section. The steady slope leading into the lake was watched over by a domineering lifeguard tower, the white paint peeling off in tired flecks.

Your towel unpacked, unrolled against the wooden slats of the dock and contaminated pink across the natural scene. Jimin’s towel was a less eye catching black partnered next to yours.

“Beautiful isn’t it” you asked, glancing around heat flooding your skin slipping your sunglasses onto your face as you laid down only the bikini covering your skin

“Yes it is” he replied his eyes not once acknowledging the actual scenery.

“I thought I told you to behave” lolling your head to the side to ensuring you got a shaded eyeful of him losing his shirt before he starting basking like a beautiful picture beside you. It wasn’t long before the heat absorbed you into a drowsy doze.

“Uhhh” you gasped for air that refused to refill in your chest, your heart halted before it went into a frenzy as you were jolted awake drenched.

Jimin’s hysterical laughing intensified into slowly suffocating as your wail reverberated through the quiet.

“You dick” you managed breathy with an eventual chuckle as your heart rate became manageable again. He was stood there holding a bucket, accomplished.

Asshole

You rushed up and charged with full intent to push him with your full weight behind you. You failed, he achieved simply misdirecting your weight straight off the edge of the dock; but not before you clamped your hand onto his arm dragging him with you.

The pair of you surfaced gasping and slipping the hair from your face, the pink strands curving over his face dripping. You could stand up, just. The gravel rough at your feet. You hindered the glasses from floating away and tip toed in cautious steps towards the dock, the pair of you cursing at the temperature and jesting.

He’d managed to catch up to your heels, just his presence behind you contorted the atmosphere, heat rising from your chest sucking air from your lungs. His palm pressed at your stomach shifting your weight in the water to press to him. Delicate fingers swept the hair from your back over the front of your shoulder. His stung a kiss the nape of your neck, you suppressed a large exhale before manoeuvring yourself round in his arms.

“Can I help you?”

“I think we both know you can” your chest flush against his

“I think that’s very presumptive of you” you teased, he pressed your back against the pillar of the floating harbour stealing a moan past your lips. He leant slowly towards your ear

“Are you going to stop being a brat and let me fuck you already” If you had a drink you’d have choked, what happened to that sweet, humble guy? You was by no means complaining, the words trickled down and pooled in between your thighs.

“Don’t worry I’ll take the best care of you” he continued, nipping at the bottom of your earlobe.

I’m done

Your arms locked behind his neck in sync with your legs around his waist bringing him to a heated kiss, your back arching off the post and closer to him.

“In that tower NOW!” he growled after purring a groan through your kiss. Your lips tweaked up to a smirk toying with your bottom lips, his eye raging carnal intent. That itself send your pulse into overdrive. You obeyed, he’d grabbed the towels and blankets from the harbour and made the rickety wood planks more comfortable before he’d ordered you on your knees. Water still lacing your skin, the slow wind flowing through the viewing space bit at your wet skin. Jimin stood over you, contemplative. Water running southwards over every crease and indent of the muscle tone.

Fuck! I could be on my knees for him all day

“Now do I punish or reward you for your little dance yesterday” he spoke aloud rhetorically still mulling over the possibilities tugging at the string holding your bikini top together allowing it to fall to the floor.

“Think we need a bit of both don’t you?” your skin was on fire burning up with unbridled anticipation, his tone was much lower than normal, the bright squishy smile had been substituted to a determined lustful one. The duality this boy was capable of was unreal and you wondered how he’d be when you returned back to the others. He bent down in front of you taking your chin in the grip of his fingers waiting.

“Sure” you replied knowing full well that’s not he was after. His lips pulled up one side knowingly.

“If you don’t reply properly you’ll be the only one who suffers until I say so” he warned

“Yes..Sir!” You mocked, refusing to pacify completely to his will.

“That’s enough, hands out in front”

“If you play brat this is what you get, don’t think I’ve not noticed how much you want to feel all this” he eyes drifted down his body. Well now you can’t” he affirmed securing your wrists together with a length of rope he’d scavenged from the back of the tower. Safe to say you regretted your choices.

“If it gets too tight or sore tell me, okay?”

“I will”

“Good, now get on top” he asked, you sent a confused glance his way.

“Come on you basically outed your thigh kink last night” well Jimin had just rung the sweetest dinner bell.

Thankfully you had some self-control as to not squeal with excitement.

Finger massaged their way up his thigh longer than was necessary to slide the shorts up to the apex of his thighs.

His eyes intently watching you entertained.

“You don’t need these anymore” he yanked at the strings of your bottoms, you lifted yourself up allowing him to launch your last piece of clothing. When you sat back down you had to gasp, the introduction of his firm thighs against your already soaking core was bliss. Feeling the same thing a low groan rang in the back of Jimin’s throat. You stabilised your bound hands on his chest

“You feel so good, I want to see you get yourself off on me and stop when I tell you. And! I want to hear you, don’t be quiet baby”

You may be on top but you were far from in control. You rocked your hips until you found an intoxicating rhythm. Jimin’s fingertips securing at the side of your thighs keeping you anchored against him. Your hips rocked faster chasing the end you knew would be denied, your breathy moans becoming louder and more vocal with each rock.

“Enough” he forced through his own moans when he felt your legs begin to quiver allowing your climax to simmer back.

“Fuck you look good on me” he panted

“You’d feel better in me” you quipped back apologetically pleading.

“Oh I don’t doubt that for a second baby” he replied sitting up from the waist a gasp gurgled in your throat as his thigh twitched beneath you, you slumped your arms over his neck. Strong hands slapped and gripped at your behind and pulled you closer

“Ahh” you wailed, a chimera of surprise and pleasure as the sting faded. A devilish grin formed at your vocal and physical response.

“Oh you like that huh?”

“Mmhmm”

//SMACK//

“Words” he scolded. Your body jolted in the opposite direction from the direction of his hand the sting harsher than before.

“Yes! Fuck!”

“Hands and knees” he barked, he supported you off to the floor, tracing his fingers down the centre of your spine which curved underneath his touch. You leant into his grip as his hand rested around the back of your neck, he tightened the grip softly to gauge your response; the squeezing of your thighs together gave him that answer.

“How about 3? I can’t punish you too much for winding me up as it was a dare. Count with me. His hand pre soothed the area and spent a few seconds running his hands through your arousal

Your wrists clenched within each other, your head resting on the top of them, eyes scrunched absorbing the sting

“1” said through gritted teeth.

Again

“2”

Again

“3” you whimpered,

“Well done baby” he praised “Fuck how much did you enjoy that, you’re even more soaked?” he gasped fingers running through you again.

“I’ll have to be harsher with my punishments next time”

“You presume they’ll be a next time?” you toyed through a breathless chuckle.

“Oh you can count on it, I have no intention of making this a one-time thing, you’re too perfect for that” your heart only barely managing to slow down now it had to deal with skipping an awe happy beat. The harsh tone had dissipated and was back to his normal softness until you pushed yourself to sitting on your legs.

“Did I say you could sit back up?”

The shift in tone knocked you for six, you loved it. You resumed your previous position, the ache between your legs tormenting you endlessly.

You heard the rummaging from the bag as he searched for the condoms, leaving the space around you lacking in Jimin and any contact. When he finally shuffled himself back down behind you he aligned his thighs with yours and pulled you back up by your hair directly onto his cock

“Fuck Jimin!” you cried adjusting to him. He tugged at your hair stretching your neck back exposing it to his assault of bites. His hand wandered soaking up the skin of your stomach and kneaded at your chest until his hand rested at the base of your neck pressing gently. Something about his hand lightly constricting sent your head spinning, endorphins flooding your already sensitive system.

“Don’t cum until I tell you” he growled starting bucking his hips into you, the pressure at your neck grew, as did his hand grappling at your hip keeping you steady. Your bound hands offering you little support only pushed you harder into his grip as you allowed your legs to support more of your weight.

Tangled hair clung to your skin, sweat now providing the adhesive quality. His grunts and groans were overshadowed by your ever increasing in pitch moans.

“Please can I touch myself” you requested with a breathless whine.

“Does this baby girl want to cum?”

“Please!” If he didn’t give you permission soon you was going to be in trouble.

“Not yet but yes you can touch yourself…fuck you feel so good on me” he choked panting at your ear. His thrusts slowed to hard and intermittent ones and you was ready to break the rules all over him.

With moans turning into desperate whimpers he finally gives in to his own pleasure as well as yours.

“Fuck! Cum for me baby” his words came out like a plea, relief to your ears. His hips jerking hard shoving you into a climax, legs quivering, your core pulsing harsh euphoric waves round his own throbbing cock. Your nails dug harshly into your thighs as the wave consumed and slowly dissipated from you.

Jimin untied your wrists in a rush, with your freedom all you managed was to slump down onto the blankets in a breathless hot heap. Recuperation was cut short with Jimin lying on his side next to you ghosting sweet tender kisses at your collar bone.

A small chuckle escaped past your lips.

“What?” his breath had yet to return fully, his hands soothing your wrists with delicate touches.

“How can you be such a cute sweet caring marshmallow and then fuck like that” you joked.

“Can I not do both? And did you just call me a fucking marshmallow?” he replied through wide, glazed over amused eyes.

#bts #bangtanarmynet #baficexchange #btssmutclub #kwritersworldnet #kpopwonderlandtag #networkbangtan #jimin x reader #bts smut #park jimin

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maxthommusic · 4 years

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Why Do I Need To Play The Last Of Us Part II?

I’ve just started The Last of Us 2. And, honestly, I’m really not a fan. The first was groundbreaking in a lot of ways; what a stunning game for the end of the PS3. And it was a total showstopper for Naughty Dog, coming straight out of left field. But with the magic of its initial reveal having dulled, TLOU2 simply seems like “another sequel.” I feel this way because of its subject matter: outbreak, post-apocalyptic; for a studio at the top of the food chain, they’ve chosen a narrative that’s been explored rather ad nauseum. To earn my enthusiasm, I’m looking to be wowed. Because I just can’t shake the feeling that TLOU isn’t the story ND is best at telling. But that’s maybe just a complete personal bias; maybe TLOU doesn’t stand a chance in my books because it’s just not what I’m looking for. And when the entire industry is raving that it’s a masterpiece, that’s a really tough pill to swallow.

But why is it so tough? It’s just a game; games should be for fun, right?

Well, that’s where I disagree. To an extent.

That’s why I’ve always loved the medium so dearly. It changes all the time. Sometimes it’s for relaxation, sometimes it’s for stress-relief; other times it’s for a great story or kinetic gameplay. Sometimes games exist just to be beautiful, to be marveled at. And in the case of TLOU2, it seems like we have a paragon of storytelling at our feet. Which I love games so much that of course I want to have a proper opinion about something that is so deeply heralded.

It’s like showing up to the Louvre and seeing the Mona Lisa. If you didn’t like it, wouldn’t you ask yourself immediately, “Why does everyone praise this?” Wouldn’t you want to know? Through understanding that questions not only could you understand more about your own tastes, but you’d understand a bit more about art and it’s majesty, as well as the tastes and expectations of others.

In forcing myself to play TLOU I’m embarking on a journey through art criticism. It’s not about needing to be apart of the conversation or feeling like I need to follow the hive; it’s because I want to culture myself deeper. In understanding exactly why I don’t like TLOU, in deciphering why others do, that’s art criticism, baby. And it’s such an important title because Naughty Dog is not only the premier Sony studio, it’s one of the premier studios, full stop. This game will be the paragon by which all others model themselves after. Devs, artists, companies and more will look at how Naughty Dog furthered the medium and follow suit. For me to continue having an educated opinion on the industry and to deeply comprehend the culture I adore, playing TLOU feels like required-playing.

It’s like literature: there are just certain classics you must read to help develop further appreciation for the craft. In film there are classics that aid in this same educational journey. Classics exist to tell a greater narrative about the medium and I 100% buy-in to the notion that there are some games you just have to have an opinion on.

I don’t know if TLOU2 is that game; is it a modern classic or just a current phenomenon? But it’s currently dominating the conversation and its pedigree demands attention. Do I want to skip ahead a couple years and say I didn’t play the biggest game of 2020? No, not really. Of course I want to understand. Because even if you didn’t want to see the Mona Lisa very much, would you really just skip it entirely? Nah. Of course not. You’re at the Louvre. You did it. You’re there. Go see it all. Say you did it. Because every little thing you consume helps you grow just a little bit more. Maturation is all about experience and your world-view can only broaden the more you consume. It’s a beautiful thing, truly. And sometimes it does mean taking a trip somewhere you’re not all that concerned with. You may not enjoy your time, but you’ll have learned a little something. And that little something, may have been worth the time.

#gaming #education #tlou2

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snarkwriteswrasslin · 4 years

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shelter; adam page [two]

Notes:

Originally posted on my main, and literally no one asked for this. I haven’t written a third part but.. I plan to keep this one going and so, it’s getting transferred to this blog. I swear, soon.. Soon I’ll write a third chapter to it. Hell,maybe even sooner than you think. ;P.

Summary:

It’s only been one night / day so far and already the tension -and awkward flirty close moments of lingering sexual tension, is so thick you can cut through it with a knife. A trip to the grocery store and lots of flirty bantering back and forth.

Pairing:

Adam Hangman Page x OFC, Birdie McGregor

Warning:

alcohol tw possible. mentions of sheltering in place / covid-19, kind of a slow burn to it and kind of not.

CHAPTER TWO : WHATS THE HARM

Having totally forgotten about Adam’s arrival back at the house the night before, I got up when I heard my alarm going off nearby. Yawning, I stretched my arms up and rubbed my eyes upon lowering them. For a few seconds I was scratching my head at the fact that I’d fallen asleep in the living room, but I ultimately shrugged it off, standing and quietly padding across the hallway and into the kitchen.

What I needed was caffeine.

And food, if the growling of my stomach was anything to go by.

I rummaged through the fridge, gathering ingredients for pancakes, eggs and bacon. I placed it all on the counter nearby, and I was digging out a mixing bowl when I thought I heard the door to Adam’s bedroom close and footsteps coming towards the kitchen. It hit me then, Adam had come home the night before.

And naturally, around the time he made it into the kitchen, I was remembering the soft press of rough lips against my forehead last night and I could feel my body heating up at the memory. I took a deep breath and tried like hell to get myself together.

Music… Music would take away the silence and drive out any possible tension that might be heavy between the two of us; again, we are practically strangers who just happen to be sharing a house.

But of course, the first song to play when I fired up the SiriusXM app on my cell phone?

An inherently sexual one from the bluegrass and folk station I’d been listening to the night before while grading the last of the actual papers I had to grade and making an online lesson plan for the new week approaching.

I think I played it off pretty well, humming along as I found my electric mixer, plugging it in, focusing intently on mixing the batter for chocolate chip pancakes. I didn’t dare look up though. I could just feel him in the room with me, watching me.

The song ended and the batter started to get smoother and I cut off the mixer, sitting it to the side, taking one of the attachments to lick clean. When I turned around to grab something, I found myself body to body with Adam and I gulped.

All I could do was try -and fail at not staring. He eyed me and chuckled softly. “You’re up early.” I finally managed to mutter. Adam shrugged and I caught him eyeing the other attachment that was still hooked to the mixer, sitting on top of the counter. I gave a soft laugh and turned a little, detaching it and holding it out to him.

He took it and I bit my lip as I watched his tongue trailing slowly over the curved bits of the attachment. After he’d licked it clean, he held it out, this soft sort of little smirk on his face as he did so. “Everythin’ okay, darlin?”

“I.. yeah. Yeah, everything is totally fine.” I tangled my fingers in my hair, dragging them through as I held his gaze. Adam chuckled and spoke up calmly. “Your bacon is burnin, woman.”

“What? No… Well fuck.” I groaned as I shook my head. Adam hurried over to the stove, grabbing the skillet and wrinkling his nose at the smell of burnt bacon while laughing. He made his way to the garbage, hurriedly tossing the burnt bacon down into the trash. All I could really do was stand there and laugh at myself.

And shake my head about it, of course.

I swear, sometimes this man can bring out my true inner awkwardness without so much as anything more than a smile.

My alarm started to go off again and I groaned as soon as I realized that meant it was 8:30 and time for me to get upstairs to my room, to my laptop. Because I had a classroom of students waiting for me on Zoom.

I opened the cabinets, rummaging around for the brightly colored Fiestaware plates I’d picked up a few months ago, taking a turquoise one and an orange one out, sitting them on the counter top. Adam was standing at the stove, apparently, he’d decided he just couldn’t eat breakfast without meat of some kind, so he was making sausage. Despite my trying not to, I found myself just sort of watching him. Thinking about how much more relaxed it was than I’d anticipated the night before when he got in. I’d been fearing there would be this overwhelming awkward tension between us, given how little we actually know about each other.

It was nice to discover that I was potentially wrong about the situation.

Adam happened to look up and over at me, catching me in mid stare. I quickly diverted my eyes, focusing on the growing pile of bacon on a navy blue plate sitting nearby and reaching out to take one. He reached out at the same time and our hands brushed and we both just sort of stared at each other for a second or two before Adam broke it in half, holding out one piece to me, sticking the other piece into his mouth and chewing it up.

“I make you nervous or somethin’, darlin?” Adam finally asked the question after the silence became too much for him.

… oh you have no idea, sir… and i’m watching your rodeos now and… every single time you tug at those jeans before you get onto your bull to ride, it does something to me… the thought came, but I shook my head quickly, taking another bite of the half of bacon he’d given me a second ago. “What makes you think that?”

“I don’t know, you just seem tense or something.” Adam muttered it quietly, glancing down at the countertop as if he were already assuming the worst. He looked up and over at me and I bit my lip, taking a sip of the coffee I’d just poured myself.

… really? I thought I was handling this pretty well, all things considered… I mulled it over as I finished eating the strip of bacon and finally, I sighed. “Probably just stress from everything going on right now. You definitely do not make me nervous. You’re probably about as scary as a box of kittens if I have to be honest, Mr. Page.”

“We’ve been livin here together for a while now. You can call me Adam.” he chuckled quietly, stepping a little closer and shaking his head as he stared down at me.

“Sorry, it’s just force of habit?” I apologized, shrugging as I studied him intently, smiling in the hopes it would reassure him.

I mean… Technically, I’m being honest. It’s not him that makes me nervous and flustered, it’s the way he makes me feel whenever we’re around each other. So technically, I reminded myself a second time, my nervous feelings have nothing at all to do with him.

“It’s okay.” Adam gave this gentle and teasing sort of smirk as he held out another piece of bacon to me. I took it, grateful to have something to shovel into my mouth and take my mind off of exactly what feelings his sudden closeness and presence did stir up in me.

Definitely longing. Attraction. So many emotions I couldn’t quite put my fingers on just yet. I reached for some syrup to put on my pancakes and as I turned to do it, I found myself body to body with Adam in the middle of the kitchen. I gulped when I felt one of his hands brush against my hip and he bit his lip, nodding to the counter. “Somethin you need?”

“The maple syrup.” I managed to get it out, even as I felt his hand brush right against my skin again. If I were a lot bolder, I’d almost assume he was flirting with me. As soon as the thought crossed my mind, I shoved it right back out.

Because there’s no way he’s flirting right now. Nope. Not at all.

His laughter got my attention and as soon as I realized that I’d missed my pancakes and drizzled maple syrup haphazardly over my plate instead, I felt my cheeks heating. Cutting into the stack and dipping them in the syrup, I met his gaze boldly. “Bold of you to assume I didn’t do that on purpose, Mr… I mean Adam.” I corrected myself quickly, remembering that me calling him Mr. Page apparently didn’t sit well with him.

He shrugged and took a bite of his own stack of pancakes and then a sip of orange juice, groaning as soon as he’d swallowed the juice down. “Is this real oranges?”

“Mhm. That’s how my grams always did it. Hand squeezed. Tastes better than a crapload of sugar, I think.”

“It really does.” Adam muttered through a mouthful.

“Shit. I need to finish this and get upstairs. I may be home but I’m still workin..” I muttered, mostly to myself. Adam nodded and took a few bites of his food, asking the question, “Think you might wanna help me out later? Gonna go check the cows.”

“Of course! Hey… if things get weird like I figure they will, dumbasses panic buying all the things.. Couldn’t hurt to think about a garden or something.” I threw out the suggestion, half expecting him to think I was crazy or in panic mode.

Panic mode he wouldn’t be entirely wrong about because I have been freaking out a little.. No, I’ve been freaking out a lot since this virus hit. Either way, I was more than a little surprised when he reached out, fluffing at my hair and nodding thoughtfully while giving me one of those bright grins of his. “It’s not a bad idea, actually. I can go to town later, pick up some things.”

“You don’t have to..” I trailed off and Adam shrugged, chuckling. “I’m here, might as well do somethin’ useful.”

I gave a nod and raked out my food into the compost bucket, sitting my dish in the sink. Adam did the same and after a few seconds, he spoke up again. “Thanks.”

“For what, exactly?” I raised a brow as I asked the question. All I do here is literally what he asks me to do and tries to pay me for. I dragged my fingers through my hair, taking another sip of coffee while I waited on him to answer my question.

“Not bailin out and going back to the city when all this shit broke.” Adam smiled at me and I nodded, shrugging. Honestly, I moved out here to escape the city. To clear my head.

To live that simpler life I enjoyed as a kid at my grandparents house over summer break.

And maybe, my mind saw fit to remind me, you sticking around has everything to do with a certain bull rider, hmm? - but of course, since I’m not willing to admit that and risk making things extremely awkward, I shoved that thought right out of my head.

“Like I said. It’s not a big deal. I wanted to get outta the city, there’s really nothing there for me.” - it wasn’t a lie either, all I left behind was a tiny and crappy apartment, a string of failed and bad relationships and teaching a group of kids who were so used to hearing they’d never amount to shit that they were preconditioned to not even attempting to learn and try to get themselves out of their situations. It was disheartening on a good day, downright depressing on a bad one. I sighed and gave him a smile.

“Hey.. If you really want to go into town and look into getting seeds and stuff, wait until I’m done with this Zoom class? I’d like to go too.”

Adam smiled, nodding. “Aren’t you late for your own class,ma’am?” he teased as he held my gaze and leaned in a little closer. When he trailed his thumb over the corner of my mouth I gave a soft giggle and he explained quietly, “You, umm.. Syrup.” and I thanked him for getting it, going silent for a second or two.

“Yeah, but I’m pretty sure a good half of them aren’t even up and functional yet. It’ll surprise me if anyone’s even signed into the classroom and waiting.” I gave a soft laugh and grabbed the rest of my coffee and Adam leaned out of the kitchen to holler down the hall after me jokingly, “Hey, teach! You might consider puttin on pants before you start your lesson, right?”

I looked down and palmed my face, biting my lip. “Fuck.”

Maybe he was right. Maybe I was really tense around him. I stopped at the top of the stairs, leaning against the hallway wall to really think about it. Now that we’re all sheltering in place I’m going to have to find some way to work around all the feelings this man stirs up in me. Otherwise, I’m going to lose my damn mind.

“Okay, tomorrow we’re going to start on time.” I was smiling as I signed off of Zoom, giving one last wave goodbye to the students who’d actually signed on to be in class. We’d mostly talked about how hard things were around our little rural area because of the shelter in place. Then we’d gone over a history lesson and done a little english.

I stood and stretched, turning to peek through the curtains out of my bedroom window. And I bit my lip as soon as I realized that the noise I’d been hearing earlier was apparently Adam, who’d gotten bored from the looks of it, and was going over a section of land with the tractor, breaking up dirt.

I gave a soft laugh, pressing my hand against the window and shaking my head. “I meant a little garden, sir.” I mumbled quietly as I made myself step away from the window and focused on throwing on some of my older jeans and one of my favorite old plaid shirts. I was tugging on my boots at the front door of the house when Adam walked in, sweaty and grimy. I wrinkled my nose at him and he chuckled. “First a beer, then shower. I know, darlin. Looks bad.”

“You’re a little burnt on your shoulders actually. How long have you been out there?”

“Long enough to get everything disked up and ready. Now all we gotta do is go into town and buy seeds and stuff.”

“Yeah, about that.. To clarify, I said garden.”

“And? That’s what I did, woman.”

“That’s a field, sir.” I gestured to the window, to the plot of land he’d just spent an entire half day plowing and preparing to plant. It was… definitely much bigger than your typical ‘garden’ plot. Not bigger than my grandparents, but they were also farmers too, and they liked to take produce down to market and sell it 2 to 3 times a year.

Adam was just a semi pro bull rider who rodeoed most of the year and raised cattle and horses or broke horses the rest.

“Not out here, it ain’t. I got the land, might as well put it to use, right?” Adam dragged his fingers through his hair, giving that lazy grin that was notorious for making my stomach flutter ever-so-slightly. “Sides.. Maybe if I can get it growin now and this thing lasts as long as people are talkin about, I can give the stuff we don’t use to some of the neighbors down the road or somethin.”

“Yeah, true.” I agreed and bit my lip, shaking myself out of deep thought when I remembered that he’d mentioned something to drink. I started to walk towards the kitchen where he’d vanished to but almost as soon as I hit the doorway, he was leaning in it lazily, staring down at me.

And me, being lost in the blue of his eyes, well.. I couldn’t do anything but stare right back. I cleared my throat and muttered quietly, “I was gonna grab a glass of tea.”

Adam stepped aside, but not quickly enough because we wound up brushing against each other in the doorframe. And again, I felt his hand lingering at my side subtly.

“I still say I make ya nervous, darlin.” Adam spoke up from where he stood as I poured my glass of tea after reaching the fridge. I gave a soft laugh, shrugging it off and I looked up, meeting his gaze. “I still argue you’re wrong, Adam.”

Adam coughed, but I heard him clearly say Bullshit as he did so. I gave a shrug and a teasing look as I took another sip of my tea. “Whether you believe me or not, Adam, that’s on you.”

He chuckled and took a few more quick sips of his long neck bottle before clearing his throat. “Should probably get showered so we can get goin. Curfew and all.”

“Yeah, this is true.” I answered, sitting down the glass I’d been drinking from and looking up at him.

“Days just seem to bleed into each other right now, ya know?” Adam mused and I nodded in agreement. They certainly did. Each one passing slower than the last. He’d only been here a day and a half. I’d been dealing with this part of it for almost four. I had the strong feeling that by the third day, the poor guy was going to be going stir-crazy.

And hopefully, just because we were now having to do the actual cohabitating part of our arrangement, with him here now, things would be just a little easier than I’d originally seen this whole thing going, when I thought Adam wouldn’t be coming back home until his usual and expected end of rodeo season.

Then again, I found myself thinking, literally no one ever saw any of this coming. And maybe I should just make the best of the situation, stop making it awkward, stop being so tense around Adam. This arrangement we had going did not have to be awkward at all.. Putting my own…. Attraction to the man aside, we could definitely be friends, there was no harm in that. I got it set firmly in my mind that rather than continuing to dwell on just how attracted to Adam I was, I was simply going to try for co-existing and hopefully, if I was lucky, making friends with him.

Given my luck in more recent years, -all of it bad, that was probably the far better thing to do.

Even as I made the decision, I got the distinct feeling that just trying to be friends was… Going to be a little more challenging than I thought.

Still, I thought to myself as I put the empty glass into the sink to wash later, I could at least try. That would definitely make this whole shelter in place scenario so much easier for both of us.

Adam was showering so I sat down at the dining table after going through the pantry and the fridge and the cabinets to see what we’d need to get us through for a few weeks. I’d just finished making my list when I heard him chuckle from behind me.

“Oh how cute, she’s makin a list.” Adam teased and I glanced up at him, poking out my tongue. “So I can get in, get what I know is needed and get out.”

“Where’s the fun in that though, hm?” Adam questioned, blue eyes fixed on me and gazing deep into my own. Almost as if he were definitely trying to distract me, which of course, it did work. I grumbled and tore the sheet of paper free from the magnetized notepad I usually kept on the door of the fridge and held it out. “Either way, fun or not, it is all stuff we’re going to need. So, if you don’t mind, hang onto that?” I asked, pretending to pout when he took the list and eyed it as if he were going to crumple it only to slip it in the pocket of faded blue jeans.

“I make no promises,darlin. If I see junk food, I’m buyin junk food.” Adam waved his hands and I couldn’t help but smile at it because it was just… Cute? Okay, that sounds so frickin cheesy… But it’s true? He looked cute. As if he were a kid, trying to tell his mother he hadn’t done something that his mother probably knew full well he had.

I eyed him and shook my head, laughing. “Okay, alright. It’d be nice to have a pint of ice cream later.” I grabbed my keys from the key rack on the iron ‘home’ key rack hanging beside the door and I turned to him, tossing them. “You’ve been staring at my car since I moved in. I know you want to drive it.”

He pretended to scoff for a second or two, but he quickly grabbed the keys from my hand, giving me that boyish smirk and sending my heart race again. “It’s just because I want to find out if Dodge really is a good company.. Ya know, being a Ford or Chevrolet guy myself for so long.”

“You do realize that Ford stands for Found On Road Dead, right?”

“Hey, hey.. No need in bein mean, darlin. Besides, your little sports car is probably just fast and not built to last.” Adam was stepping closer, staring down at me, biting his lip. If I were a lot more self assured, I’d almost want to say he was staring at my lips like… No, he didn’t want to kiss me.

He probably sees women who are so much prettier on the daily when he’s out being a rodeo star. He probably takes them back to his hotel, I found myself thinking next, having to clear my throat abruptly just to clear my mind and get the focus back on our outing. Adam’s hand lightly squeezed my side and he chuckled to himself, shaking his head.

“What?”

“It’s nothin. C’mon, let’s go get this done.” Adam was reaching out over my shoulder to push the front door open and when he brushed against me as he leaned in a little to do so, I looked up at him. “I warn you, it’s an absolute madhouse in town. And if you think we’re getting toilet paper or anything? Likely not.”

“Why toilet paper?” Adam questioned, a brow raised as he shook his head and muttered about some people and their overwhelming lack of common sense. I sighed and shrugged, making my way to my Challenger, standing by the passenger door as I tapped my foot and waited on him. When he finally got to the car, he eyed me. “You’re not in?”

“You have the key. City girl here, remember? I never just leave my car or the house unlocked… Speaking of… You did lock up the place… Right?”

“Darlin, we are in the middle of nowhere.” Adam pointed out, gazing at me before turning to look back at the front door to the house after he’d aimed my key fob at the car to unlock it. “Sides.. I can’t exactly lock up the barn and stables, all the valuable stuff is in there.”

“Doesn’t matter, Adam. The door needs to be locked. You never know what could happen.” I pointed it out mildly, going on to tell him that 3 times in a month my old apartment had actually been broken into before I left the city to move out here. He eyed me in concern and I quickly reassured with a shrug, “I wasn’t home for any of them, thankfully. Does piss me off knowing that given all the bigger scale crime though, actually doing something about it would’ve done nothing in the end.”

“You didn’t report it?” Adam gaped at me, shocked when I admitted that I hadn’t tried to actually get anything done about it. I almost wanted to cringe, thinking back about it because it was one of those things, ya know? Where you suck at defending yourself for the most part and getting fucked over becomes the norm. You just kind of let it ride, go with it and hope for the best down the road. If you’re wondering, yes. I did this a lot. And yeah, on occasion I do still do it. It’s just.. Easier… Not to be a troublemaker or make waves.

I opened my mouth and closed it again, giving a defeated sigh. Nothing I could say to explain it would make this any more logical, I could just see it in his eyes. He was genuinely confused as to why I didn’t try to report it.

“It’s not really friendly there like it is around here, okay? Besides, the cops have a lot more important things to worry about, like the actual murders and robberies that happen all the time.” I explained it away, but I felt it boiling at my gut all over again, the anger I’d felt all three occasions to coming back, discovering that a few possessions and some money were gone. The pathetic excuse and my lack of action was also still eating at me and this had taken place a year ago.

Adam cleared his throat and dug around, finding his house key as he muttered, “I’ll go lock the door. Can’t hurt.” and I gave him a relieved look, getting into the passenger side of the car. He hurried back down the brick front steps and got into the driver seat, taking off down the long dirt driveway. As we drove into town, I squirmed in my seat a little.

One, I’m not used to being a passenger in my car. Like at all. Two, I was starting to feel that thick tension creeping back in. The air seemed like it hung heavy with words not said. It was starting to get to me, so I guess that’s why I reached out, turning down the volume on the radio. Adam seemed to be off in his own mind too, because when I finally thought of something to say, “Looks like it’s gonna rain soon.” he muttered a quiet and thoughtful, “Probably so.” and swore under his breath because he’d just spent over half the day plowing up the ground and the rain might mess all that up now. I couldn’t help but give a quiet laugh.

“Just curious, darlin… Ain’t you got… Like… family or a man back in the city?” the question came totally out of the blue and when I glanced over, he was doing it again, giving me that look all over again.

“I don’t, actually. My parents and I aren’t exactly on speaking terms. As far as a relationship, haven’t really… Been in one of those for almost two years now. I..” I paused, biting my lip and taking a deep breath, “got burned really bad in the last one.”

Adam nodded, muttered quietly, “Me too.. On the relationship thing, I mean. Parents are livin in some retirement community out in Colorado. My dad’s idea.” Adam shrugged and reached out, turning the volume up just a little, leaving me to kind of sit there and puzzle out what he’d just admitted.

Okay, in what world is a hunky semi-pro bull rider not involved with at least one person? And he certainly seemed like a nice enough guy from the little we’d interacted since I moved into his house… It definitely made me wonder and it only further drove home the fact that maybe getting to know the man I’m cohabitating with isn’t a bad idea at all.

I mean… we should know a lot more about each other than we already do.

The local supermarket came into view and Adam pulled my car into one of the closer spots to the door, sitting there for a few seconds as if he wanted to say something else. When he finally did break the silence, it was to gently repeat something he’d said earlier in the morning.

“Ya know.. We’re stuck together in this. Wouldn’t hurt to get more comfortable around each other, I’d think.”

“No, it definitely wouldn’t.”

He smiled at me and then raised slightly in his seat, digging out my list, holding it out to me. “Your list, darlin.”

“Tease all you want, but when you’re back at the house and we actually have everything we need to last a while, you’ll see the reasoning there.” I laughed softly, taking the slip of paper from his hand. For a second or two, our fingertips brushed and I bit my lip. He did the same before answering with a shrug, “Won’t matter if I wanted a candy bar or somethin and we don’t have that.”

“You’ll get your junk, sir. Are we going in or are we just gonna sit out here and talk about it all night, cowboy?” I teased, almost wanting to cringe at the flirtatious tone in my voice while also praying to hell that Adam didn’t actually… Read that much into things, because it hadn’t really been intentional. My breath caught in my throat when he eyed me a second or two, this soft and laughing smirk on his face as he got out. I got out too, shutting the door behind me and Adam locked the car, extending his arm. I grabbed a cart and bit my lip when I felt his chest ever so slightly brushing into my back.

He chuckled softly next to my ear. “I still say I make you nervous.” he dared to say it and I bit down on my lip harder, taking a deep breath, turning slightly to look over my shoulder at him, my head shaking and a teasing grin on my face.

I mean… If he’s gonna tease me, why not, right?

“I do believe someone is ignoring social distancing protocols, sir.” I stepped from beneath the way he had his arms on either side of me, his hands on the cart handle and slunk over to the potatoes, grabbing a 5 lb. bag and returning with it, putting it into the cart, flashing him yet another little smile and laughing.

Adam chuckled, grabbing for a bag of apples near the fruits and vegetables, putting them into the cart. “Cute diversion. But I’m still goin by what I said earlier at the house. For some reason, I make you real nervous.”

“Nope.” I’d turned away, busying myself with buying ketchup, mustard and mayonnaise and when I turned back with the three bottles, I found myself body to bod with him again and he was staring down at me thoughtfully, reaching for two of the three bottles in my hand to sit them into the cart. He didn’t break his gaze a single time and I found my breath catching.

Something my grandma said to me once about her and Grandpa came rushing back to me and I mulled it over before quickly shoving it right out of my head.

I barely know Adam. This is just me, being awkward as fuck because I have always been awkward as fuck around men I’m attracted to. It has to be… Right?

But gazing up at him as he gazed right back, I suddenly wasn’t as confident in that as I’ve been up to this point. I mean… I keep feeling like he’s flirting with me. Like he feels truly comfortable around me and this is the real Adam… Not the Adam I’m used to seeing after a winning round at whatever rodeo he happens to be riding in on television when I watch. He’s not cocky, not intense.. He’s just.. A genuinely sweet and good guy. Funny, down to earth and charming.

I tried to get a grip of myself as he started to laugh quietly and reached out, taking the paper from my hand. “Maybe if each of us takes half…” he suggested and I swallowed hard, shaking my head, giving him a smile. “No, no. No. Today’s just been… Weird. I’m used to being alone when I do this. But this is fine, I’m having a good time. And for the last time, no… you do not make me nervous. Not even a little.” I said it in a rush and he chuckled, shrugging as he grabbed a jar of pickles and put them into the cart.

“Whatever you say, darlin. What’s next then?”

“Uh… You’re gonna love this. The mandatory junk food and quick meals.” I joked gently, making him laugh as he pointed out, “You do realize I can cook, right?”

“Yeah, but you’re in and out of hotels at least 100 plus days a year, so…”

“And yet, you nearly burnt down the kitchen just this morning.”

“Bite me.”

“Where, darlin?” Adam joked, again with that grin that I couldn’t tell whether he was being a tease or whether he was… Really flirting with me… Like he was into me.

Then again, I’ve never been good at deciphering cues or hints, to begin with. So, I don’t dare get my hopes up that high.

#adam hangman page fanfiction #adam hangman page fanfic #adam hangman page fic #adam hangman page imagine #// alcohol tw potentially #// bit of a slow burn #// mentions of covid-19 and sheltering in place

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karmanticmoved · 5 years

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1-85 uwu

j esus okay

1. describe yourself.

uh,, emotional ig, dumbass, quiet, exhausted all of the time, v queer, healthy mix of feminine and masculine, insecure, and not tha t great tbh. kinda a pussy ass b itch

2. if you could go anywhere for a week all expenses paid where would it be?

idrk. maybe somewhere like a hella nice beach in another country, maybe somewhere in europe. i like travelling but i hate the travel to get there and have no money so i havent put thought into it. maybe hawaii or somewhere like that.

3. do you have siblings?

the one thats still alive is my half brother

4. what is your favorite constellation, why?

orion maybe bc i don't know a lot but i can see that one from my bedroom window even in the city n idk. its comforting. or scorpius cause i'm a scorpio

5. favorite color.

yellow, pink, or blue.

6. what kind of music do you listen to?

almost anything. whatever catches my interest.

7. favorite flower. (you can name as many as you want cause flowers are awesome)

forgot what i said last time but those

yellow carnations i think?

8. if you could do magic, what is the first spell you would learn?

maybe smth to put myself to sleep immediately bc f uCk

9. favorite childhood memory.

my summer camp memories are pretty great. also memories of my dad and i going fishing are good.

10. have you ever been cheated on?

i mean in theory i couldve been bc online relationships but no. n im polyam and have identified as such for a majority of my relationships so no.

11. if you could describe your perfect room, what would it be?

big but not too big, yknow? like big enough that it can be filled and have room to walk around and lay on the ground or whatever but not Empty. and a pretty big bed to stretch out on, n a closet in the room. multiple windows w blackout curtains so theres light but it can be blocked out. n fluffy rugs or carpeting but preferably rugs in case smth spills so we can get it out of at least Remove the rug. and probably a cat tree thing in corner for dipper. n a computer desk and actual lights that light up the whole room. but probably,, fairy lights too bc full lights too bright. and i kinda want a pink room but blue or yellow work also. a nd pride flags on the walls + posters and various other stuff bc plain walls are boring. and tons n tons of b ooks too.

12. favorite animal.

river otter

13. what was the last photo you took of?

cat

14. do you believe in soul mates?

i'm not sure. i do kinda think there are people who you will like. really really click with and who become so important in your life that they're like. apart of u yknow? but i don't think that anyone as an individual needs to keep those people in their life forever. they arent destined to stay with them, and they shouldnt force that relationship (platonic, familial, romantic, or whatever) even if they were close for years and years. screw destiny. youll have people you care about, and sometimes you have to break that bond to save yourself, and thats okay. there will be other people who can and will be just as important. that got kinda off topic skbsks. i don't think theres really like Destiny soulmates. but there could be like. soulmates in the sense of for however long we're together, we're soul bonded. even if its not forever. does that even make se nse skbsns

15. do you hang toilet paper over or under?

over is the one thats socially acceptable right

16. your go to place to eat & your favorite thing to get there.

idk theres a place near a movie theater closeish to my house and its a nice little cafe and i dont eat there bc i dont eat much in general but i get their bubble tea and i love. raspberry bubble tea w rose popping bubbles. its comfort drink.

17. do you believe everything happens for a reason?

no. sometimes shit happens for no reason, and its bullshit, but you can't reverse it, so you gotta figure out how to move on from it.

18. guilty pressures?

im assuming thats meant to be pleasures

umm,, idrk. i don't know what exactly i like that would count as a guilty pleasure so,,

19. favorite mythical creature, why?

merpeople are s o cool i fuckin. love funky aquatic pals hell yeah. maybe im just Water babey but. they're rad. dragons are also hella cool bc like dragons???? theyre scaly and prett y and can breathe fire or have wings and kill u?? also like selkies bc again. water. but i used to hear a lot of stories abt them and theyre so nea t

20. something most people don’t know about you.

i have the potential to be a huge asshole and also kinda Wish to fuckin murder someone sometimes but. i act nice most of the time anyway.

not murder murder but i can get angr y enough that i just wanna Stab smth

21. where did you grow up, what was it like?

grew up kinda near the edge of the city, still in it but not like the main city area. in western washington. it was kinda rly boring, i used to spend a lot more time outside or just by myself playing with leaves or toys or whatever. when i had friends i played make believe w them even when outside of school. so yeah. boring id say.

22. do you believe aliens exist?

sure.

23. what was your last google search?

other than names for some actors n stuff, i was looking up various star wars things

24. what did your last relationship teach you?

the one that like. ended? i guess thatd be. be careful with your own feelings and try to figure them out before jumping into anything, and also don't try to force smth that in reality isnt really working.

25. would you relocate for love?

honestly yeah

26. do you hold grudges or forgive easy?

both. it just depends on how badly i or someone i care about was hurt by it. more likely to hold a grudge if a friend was hurt by someone d eep enough to leave a lasting impact or if they don't get a genuine apology i will be 🔫🔫. or if the person keeps hurting them. even if that person is also my friend.

27. favorite book.

favorite graphic novel is bloom by kevin panetta

favorite books in general are autoboyography, more happy than not, and what if its us. all gay. i know. its okay. im a kinnie.

28. do you consider yourself an extrovert or introvert?

introvert by far

29. have you ever kept a journal, do you now?

i tried once. i probably will have to once i go see a therapist, or at least one for my Bad Thoughts

30. top 5 favorite movies.

in no particular order

little shop of horrors, love simon, coco, it (2017 and 1990), and shazam! ig? maybe others but i definitely Forgot all the shit ive watched

31. do you believe that everything happens for a reason?

32. what is your greatest fear?

definitely gotta be all of the people i love hating me and abandoning me or secretly hating me and then leaving me without saying anything. and the worst part is im always afraid its gonna happen babeyy

33. favorite alcoholic beverage.

im baby

34. most embarrassing thing you’ve done.

im embarrassed by my own existence. i don't remember the Most embarrassing thing

35. do you believe in ghosts?

not until i have proof that i can actually trust and believe in

36. what is the best and worst part of your personality?

idk ig im nice. but im also. very easily set off on certain emotions especially the bad ones which sucks like especially jealousy bc i dont wanna!! feel jealous!! tho i think that ties into my greatest fear bc my brain immediately tells me im useless to everyone and they hate me. but. sometimes i get jealous and then feel bad for that and then hate myself for all of it. bc my friends deserve to hang out w other people and care about other people im just fucking stupid babey !!

37. should you split the dinner bill?

i rly don't get why you wouldnt tbh like if u both wanna be there u should both pay. but if one person gonna pay it should be the person that asked.

38. are you a good liar?

most of the time. when it comes to my mental health i can either lie great or im literally breaking down in front of the person so

39. what keeps you up at night?

depressing thoughts. anxiety about everything. wishing i could cuddle and fall asleep w jay. sometimes i just cant sleep bc im too restless.

40. would you rather go without your phone or music?

music. i need my phone to text my friends and i Need my friends

41. do you believe in god?

what god would let the world get to the point its at. what god would allow people to do such fucked up shit.

no. i don't.

42. how do you relax when frustrated?

cry, take a nap, take a shower, listen to music, cuddle dipper

43. what’s something that offends you?

when people go "oh yeah i support gay rights but im still gonna eat at chick fil a bc its good" like i get so fucking. pissed off by that. youre not gonna fucking s ta rv e without their goddamn chicken. i know a bi person who goes there and says its okay bc they dont Directly Give Their money to Specifically anti gay organisations but im just. ugh. fucking pissed bc there are other places to get food just avoid the one place for fucks sake. their food is good it doesnt matter. its like saying yeah pewdiepie is a bad person and nazi and a racist asshole but his videos r funni haha so im gonna watch him anyway

44. favorite food

i hate myself whenever i eat food

45. if you were on a 10 hour flight and could sit and talk to any person the entire time, who would it be?

@destinedformuchmore or @pinaplelee

46. when do you feel the most confident?

never? but ig i feel confident when working on tech construction during theater tech. as long as i know what im doing.

47. what do you do in your free time?

sleep. draw. cry. play video games. talk to my friends.

48. is there anyone who has completely lost your respect

matpat did for being a dick abt neopronouns and making a transphobic joke and only apologizing when a cis person told him to. not when hundreds of trans people did. and also other jokes that are inherently offensive to various groups. a n d for making extremely not Child friendly jokes in his videos which are very much targeted towards kids. say what you will about the target audience, there are a lot of children who watch them. please stop making creepy nsfw jokes if you won't even swear, sir.

49. have you ever broken someone’s heart?

i guess so yeah. but she also broke mine first.

50. did/do you play sports in school?

i did. i don't anymore bc highschool sports are bullshit but. basketball, ultimate, and soccer.

51. when are you happiest?

talkin 2 jay prolly

52. coffee or tea?

tea

53. what is one possession you own you wouldn’t want to live without?

my binder. or my stuffed cat puppet thing ive had since i was 7

54. what is the first thing you notice about a person?

their general emotions, mostly. like if theyre in a good mood or if theyre bored or distracted or whatever. or if they seem interested in actually talking to me

55. what is your favorite season, why?

fall. my birthday, the atmosphere is nice, it's pretty, its hoodie weather.

56. what makes you laugh?

stupid little comments or jokes my friends make tend to make me laugh a lot harder than i should but jabdn

57. are you a clean or messy person?

a mix. i Cannot have some things messy or i will ksjqkd. Die but i don't make my bed too often bc its ha rd when its against 3 walls.

58. what is important for a successful relationship?

communication communication communicati

talk about ur goddamn problems n keep talking to each other.

59. what was your upcoming like?

if thats supposed to be upbringing

idk, very relaxed. pretty easygoing and kinda boring.

60. favorite holiday?

any holiday in december rly. i don't celebrate a Lot but the atmosphere and others celebrating is nice to see. i kinda wish my parents did more to embrace the jewish part in our family blike. whatever. christmas is fun.

61. what is the first thing you’d do if you won the lottery?

give half of it to my parents. and then probably use it for plane ticket

62. what’s the best pizza topping combination?

hawaiian pizza. pinapple n canadian bacon ty

63. favorite outdoor activity.

frisbee

64. how are you? honestly.

not great. i want highschool to end.

65. would you rather go camping in the woods or stay at a beach resort?

idk. camping is fun but if i get to stay at the resort for free i would rly love 2 stay at a resort tbh ive never done that

66. what is the most beautiful thing in nature?

waterfalls. or rivers or just. water in nature. and very green forests. aNd snow.

67. favorite type of candy?

none

68. if your life was a book, what would be the title?

i can and will do arson, an autobiography

69. what movie quotes do you use of a regular bases?

i quote john mulaney and whatever my obsessions are pretty regularly

70. what was cool when you were young but not cool now?

silly bandz. pokemon cards. these weird unicorn figures i collected

71. what’s the craziest conversation you have ever eves dropped on?

im mostly the one having the weird conversations

72. what’s the most interesting documentary you’ve ever watched?

i watched one about dogs and cats and their evolution which was lit

73. what’s the worst hairstyle you’ve had?

when i let the lady just go fuckin ham on my hair bc i was watching spirit that horse movie and didnt wanna stop so it was. rly bad bangs and hella short in back but not the sides

74. what do you like to cook?

whatever im hungry for. i don't have the energy to cook a lot

75. what’s the coolest animal you’ve seen in the wild?

really pretty tropical fish

76. what’s the funniest tv show you’ve ever seen?

idk. i rly like schitts creek its pretty amusing

77. do you usually follow your heart or your head?

heart at first but my head if things get bad

78. what is your favorite quote?

"i have a splitting headache and i think i'm dying. how are you?"

or a character just saying "try harder" when another failed to do smth.

this is supposed to be deep or whatever but im in a Mood

79. what’s the weirdest crush you have ever had?

once had a crush on a character in a minecraft parody lmao

80. what’s your love language?

sending shit that makes me think of them. n just. making tons of stuff for them both online and irl like bracelets.

81. do you ever feel alone?

oh yeah. all the time. im not but it feels like i am which sucks

82. ever been bullied?

yeah

83. are you usually early or late?

late bc of my parents rip

84. what kind of art do you enjoy most?

drawing, or writing. also theater.

85. what do you wish you knew more about?

i just wish i could remember everything ive learned more about. i know a lot i just forget all.

id like to know more about forensics tho

#asks #long post #friends

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askthedespairkids · 5 years

Text

Chapter 2: Lost in Sacrificial Fate ~Daily Life Part 1~

//Hoorah! Chapter 2 of DKronpa (as I will now call it) will finally begin, the daily life gonna be split up this time around because there was a lot more to write about and it would just be easier to have it as two separate chapters.

//So each daily life chapter is gonna have a bonus event, and this one will be your required fanservice bonus event (probably gonna have another one to stretch across guys and girls)

//Hope you enjoy and hopefully you’ll look forward to the next chapter

-Chapter 2 Daily Life, New world-

The next morning, we all gathered in the cafeteria. Needless to say, the mood was tense. We were all still feeling the pressure of reality from what we saw yesterday. Well…almost everybody. Kurosaki-san was sitting by himself, humming away without a care in the world. I still can’t get that image out of my head; his grin at Kibe-san’s…

“Nagata-kun, you look really tired. Did you have trouble sleeping too?” Ram-san brought me back into the real world. She looked tired as well, Okanaya-san not so much, but he certainly wasn’t smiling. It had drawn a few surprised looks when he turned up, but everyone simply went back to their breakfast.

“Sorry, I’m fine. Just…thinking, I guess.” I murmured my response. Ram-san nodded, probably not wanting to press me any further on the matter. I was glad she was aware when to give me some space. Okanaya-san was sitting with us, eating obnoxiously loud. I know I invited him, but I might end up regretting that decision.

“Fuck, I didn’t even realise how hungry I was!”

“Don’t talk with your mouth full…” I said, slightly annoyed. Okanaya-san stared at me for a second and in that moment, I realised who I had just said that to.

He swallowed his food. “Right. Sorry ‘bout that.” He apologised.

“Oh~? Nagata-kyun did you manage to tame the beast? How amazing!” Kurosaki-san smiled.

“Eh? You wanna say that to my face, bastard?!” Okanaya-san stood up suddenly, cracking his knuckles.

“O-Okanaya-san, c-calm down!” I said. Okanaya-san looked at me and sat down with a huff. He’s actually kind of childish, isn’t he?

“W-well, it’s certainly lively.” Ram-san commented with an awkward smile, “It’s nice though. It feels less tense all of a sudden.”

“You’re right, Fraulein! After all, it’s been so weird that everybody’s been hung up on Kibe’s execution!” Kurosaki-san laughed. Everyone froze and looked over at Kurosaki-san. Nobody wanted to bring it up, yet he was able to speak about it to casually as if what we all say yesterday didn’t have any effect on him.

“Nagata…” Okanaya-san fists tightened.

“He’s not worth it…” I murmured, not completely sure if I believed that myself. I almost went back to my food but heard the sound of something getting hit hard and the sound of a crash. I turned to see Kurosaki-san had been knocked off of his chair and Amaterasu-san was standing over him.

“Scum.” Was all she said, an animalistic glare in her eyes. “I don’t care about how you feel towards Saori-chan. You’re scum for laughing at her death.”

“H-Hokama-san…” Kurohiko-san frowned. Amaterasu-san turned and looked at him with her usual blank expression.

“Call me Amaterasu.” She said before sitting down again. Kurosaki-san stood up, rubbing where he was punched. He didn’t seem to mind, there was still a hint of a smirk visible. I don’t get this guy at all.

“Geez, you guys can’t go two minutes without wanting to fight, huh?” Monokuma said.

“Uwah?!” I nearly fell out of my chair when I came face-to-face with the bear.

“Kya!” Ram-san squeaked, standing up suddenly.

“Oi, what the fuck’re you doin’ here?!” Okanaya-san cracked his knuckles.

“See what I mean? Always with the violence. Teenagers, I swear. Is it those hormones? Are all those pent-up hormones making you lash out? Or maybe you had a rough childhood. You wouldn’t be the first.”

“Th-the fuck?!”

“Can hormones pent up?” Irunami-san asked.

“Shut up.” Sly-san said. “Monokuma, what do you want? You never appear unless there’s something you need to tell us.”

“See, this is how you treat your headmaster with respect! Well…not really, but he’s doing better than the rest of you. But you’re right! I have a very important announcement! A new world has opened up for you now that you’ve cleared the class trial!”

“Huh? A new world?” I repeated.

“Yep yep! You know those stairs by the storage room that were blocked off by that grate? Well, I opened them up! You can go up to the new world awaiting you! Hope you enjoy exploring this new land, so…I’ll see ya later!” And with that, Monokuma disappeared just as fast as he appeared.

“A new world, huh…?” Graves-san pondered the idea for a moment. “Alrighty, let’s go and check it out! Sly can lead the way!”

“Hmm? Why me?”

“Duh! If something dangerous appears you can deal with it!” Graves-san smiled and help up a peace sign. “I believe in you, home-slice! I’ll be right behind you, from a safe distance!”

“I doubt there’ll be anything dangerous…let’s just hurry up and see what this is all about.” Sly-san began walking.

-Chapter 2 Daily Life, Surface-

“Wh…what is all of this…?” It was an unexpected sight. When we went up the flight of stairs, we found a set of doors. I expected another floor, not…this. We were greeted by a massive courtyard and four buildings in different directions from a fountain in the centre. And to create the perimeter is a massive wall at least 20 feet high. We could see the sky above us…where the hell are we?!

“We’re outside?” Sly-san takes in the view. “This is odd. Something like this should be impossible to hide from the world…what’s the meaning of this, I wonder?”

“Y-yeah, we’re all being forced into a game like this. The world should definitely be trying to do something about it, and yet…how can a place like this exist are we’re still trapped here?!” Kurohiko-san shuddered, scared of the possible explanations.

“There’s no point thinking about it. Let’s split up and investigate.” Shinko-san suggested.

“Let us go in pairs then. We can learn more of our new surroundings whilst enjoying the company of each other.” Ishikawa-san smiled.

“Oh! I can help with that!” Hachi-san clapped their hands together and produced 14 sticks. “There are two of each colour, so everyone picks a stick and see who they end up investigating with!” Everyone went one at a time and drew a stick until Hachi-san was left with one for themselves.

We all paired off quickly. Asano-san ended up with Ishikawa-san.

“Asano-sama, let us do our best in our investigation together.” Ishikawa-san bowed.

“Of course, if that’s what you wish of me.” Asano-san nodded.

Amaterasu-san and a flustered Kurohiko-san walked away together. Hachi-san and Irunami-san walked away as well, though part of me thinks the sticks were rigged when the snickered to each other. Sly-san walked away, not waiting for a very excited Kurosaki-san.

“Ah, looks like we’re workin’ together!” Graves-san threw an arm around Yokozawa-san. Yokozawa-san seemed surprised at the sudden physical contact.

“U-um…yeah. I guess so.” Yokozawa-san nodded awkwardly. “I’ll try to not slow you down…” His voice trailed off. I guess he really isn’t that good with social interaction. He left with Graves-san who leading the conversation between them as he just silently nodded along.

Shinko-san and Ram-san was definitely the weirdest pairing out of the group. Weirder than Ishikawa-san and Asano-san…maybe. But with all of them gone, that left…

“Just you an me then.” Okanaya-san smirked. “Though there’s so much shit to look at. Where the fuck do we start?” Good question…

-Chapter 2 Daily Life, Fountain-

Okanaya-san and I arrived at a large foundation that marked the middle of the courtyard. It was a statue of a Monokuma dressed like a cherub, holding a jug that sprayed out water into the pool. It felt almost peaceful here with the sound of the running water filling the air. If it weren’t for the massive wall encasing us, then I might actually be able to enjoy this.

“Hmm…” Okanaya-san studied the fountain.

“What’s wrong?” I asked. Okanaya-san seemed to mull over something for a few seconds before shaking his head.

“Just stuff I’m thinking about. I’ll tell you about it when we meet up with everybody else. It’s just one of those things I feel like everyone should hear together, y’know…?” I wasn’t sure what could be going through Okanaya-san’s head, but I wasn’t going to question it.

“This fountain is nice, don’t you think?” I asked. I dipped my hand into the water. It was cold. Not sure what else I expected.

“Gross, do you normally stick your hand in fountain water?” Okanaya-san frowned. I could feel myself blush, I’m not even sure why I did that either. I guess in situation, my instinct just told me to inspect everything. “But yeah, it’s nice. Décor isn’t necessarily something I have strong opinions on, but it would be nice as a landmark. Though I wish it wasn’t Monokuma’s stupid fucking face up there.”

-Chapter 2 Daily Life, the 2nd Building-

Okanaya-san and I stepped into the building that was to the right of the dorms. A large extravagant looking building both in and out. The first room was like a foyer, a large staircase went up two floors from where we were. A building with three floors, but probably still isn’t taller than the wall outside.

“This place is pretty dazzling. It’s almost too bright.” I commented as we walked further into the foyer. “Seriously, what kind of building is this anyway?”

“Welcome, welcome! This building is the leisure building!”

“Gwah!” I jumped back into Okanaya-san when Monokuma appeared.

“Geez, kid…are you gonna do that every time I appear?” Monokuma looked down, almost seeming depressed. “Anyway, as I was saying. This building is a leisure building. A place you can relax! Here on the first floor you can find a swimming pool! On the second floor, you’ll find an amazingly chilly ice rink! And on the third floor is an auditorium! A place for shows and such. Y’know all that drama crap?”

“When did you build all this?” Okanaya-san questioned.

“Hmm? I wonder…when did I do all this again?”

“Bastard, just answer my question or I’ll beat the shit outta you!”

“O-Okanaya-san, calm down. You know the rules, you can’t hurt Monokuma…!” I tried to reason.

“It’s bullshit, Nagata! Nothing is right here!” Nothing is right…? What the hell does that mean…? Okanaya-san mentioned he wanted to tell everybody something, is it related to that?

“Bullshit or not, I don’t actually have to answer any of your questions. Not right now anyway. Maybe I can in the future when I think it’ll make things more interesting…” Monokuma chuckled before disappearing again.

“Fuck this…seriously, fuck this! Fuck that Monokuma bastard and fuck this stupid killing game and fuck wherever the hell we are right now!” Okanaya-san slammed his fist against the wall. “Nagata! We gotta find a way to get outta here! Let’s fuckin’ do this!”

“R-right…” Okanaya-san still gets fired up really easily. Though I suppose it’s not always a bad thing.

-Chapter 2 Daily Life, Cafeteria Meet-up-

“Okay, so now that we’re all back, should we start thinking about this whole new world shit? It’s weird, right…? This dorm area is basically a basement area. Our perception of our location is completely different now…” Shinko-san said.

“Hachi, if you would?” Sly-san asked.

“Of course! No problem!” Hachi-san clapped their hands together and produced two maps: one of the courtyard area and one of the leisure building. Seriously, where did they get those? “So, let’s start off with the courtyard!”

“As we already know, the building to the right of the dorm entrance is the leisure building. Kurosaki and I tried to enter the other buildings, but they were all locked.” Sly-san said.

“Not just that but each building’s exterior designs are all vastly different. And that one building that’s to the left of the dorm entrance…it’s like a serious accident occurred there. The first floor was in tact from the outside, but everywhere above was completely destroyed almost as if it was burned.” Kurosaki-san put his hand to his chin in thought.

“But that’s weird, right? We haven’t been here long so I doubt an accident like that could occur. There’s no fire safety measures here that could deal with a fire of that size.” Amaterasu-san said.

“You mean it was built to look like that? Wouldn’t it be tricky to fake fire damage?” Ram-san asked.

“We have already seen a few unbelievable things, is it really so impossible?” Ishikawa-san said. “It’s possible that the building is a key the puzzle that is yet to be answered: for what reason have we been forced to participate in this game?”

“You really think that building has something to do with it?” Hachi-san asked.

“It’s not impossible. Though with the building still inaccessible, we can’t answer that question for sure.” Kurosaki-san shrugged. “Another interesting point about the courtyard is that massive wall. How could anyone manage to build something like that?”

“No exit either.” Amaterasu-san said. Huh? No exit? “Doi-chan and I went around the whole perimeter of the wall and we couldn’t find any kind of door. We’re completely caged in.”

“There might not be a door in the walls but there was that massive door with all the locks we all saw when we first got here. It’s possible that door leads to a tunnel that goes under the wall, right?” Yokozawa-san suggested. I remember the door, yeah. It’s definitely the exit if there’s nothing along the wall.

“So, we need to find a way to open that door. Easier said than done.” Shinko-san said.

“We can cross that bridge later. We’re always learning more about our surroundings so maybe we’ll find something that’ll point us in the direction of how to open that door.” Kurosaki-san smiled.

“Then let’s talk about the leisure building! Ha-chan and I went exploring in there and it was suuuuper cool! I’ve never seen anything like it!” Irunami-san beamed.

“Right, we looked around the top floor and found all kinds of cool stuff!” Hachi-san followed. “Let’s see…there was a room filled with different props and costumes, an awesome auditorium! There was a door in the auditorium that went backstage to some dressing rooms and a storage room for things like lighting and stuff! It was so amazing!”

“On the first and second floor was a swimming pool past some changing rooms, and an ice rink, respectively. I searched around but there was nothing of note. Nothing that could be used to get outta here.” Shinko-san sighed.

“So, there wasn’t actually anything in the building that was a clue to unlocking the door…ah man! I thought Junpei and I really did well in our investigation!” Graves-san complained.

“It wasn’t much of an investigation it was just you dragging me around everywhere and pointing at stuff…and call me Yokozawa, calling me by my first name is way too casual.” Yokozawa-san complained.

“That’s so many syllables though! Junpei is a lot easier to remember!” Graves-san argued with a smile.

“Sorry to interrupt, but can I say something?” Okanaya-san stood up, grabbing everyone’s attention. I’ve never seen this expression on his face before, it was unreadable, “…so, uh…I was suspicious about it, and I feel like I need to share with the group. After seeing the above ground areas…I have to conclude we aren’t in Hope’s Peak.”

“Huh? Well…that much was obvious, right?” Yokozawa-san shrugged.

“But…gah, how I explain it? There’s problems with it not being Hope’s Peak, but there are problems with it being Hope’s Peak too…” Okanaya-san struggled. I do remember when I talked to him on the first day…

“Okanaya-san said that the structure on the building we’re in now was definitely part of Hope’s Peak. Uncopiable designs and little details. Yet this clearly isn’t the main school building, as the above ground area showed us.” I clarified. This detail seemed to get everybody’s attention.

“If that is the case…then what of our location? It must be Hope’s Peak, yet it cannot be.” Ishikawa-san frowned.

“Maybe Hope’s Peak’s team had a part to play in the creation of this site?” Sly-san suggested.

“Hope’s Peak was built over a century ago. It would impossible for any modern-day builder to reconstruct it perfectly.” Okanaya-san discredited. “It’s like…there’s only a piece of Hope’s Peak here. It was stolen and placed here.”

“It may be a clue to whoever is behind our situation.” Asano-san finally spoke up. A clue to whoever brought us here. The mastermind, in a sense.

“Someone really knowledgeable about Hope’s Peak, clearly.” Amaterasu-san said. “Though without any evidence around, we can even begin to think of who it might be.”

“It might not be just one person. It’s more likely to be some big organisation with how much production went into all those buildings and that wall…yes an organisation of some kind is a much more likely culprit.” Kurosaki-san nodded at his own theory.

“What kind or organisations would have the kind of funding it would take to pull something like this off?” Graves-san asked.

“My agency. Possibly Graves’ agency as well.” Sly-san said. I suppose assassins would get paid a lot, and if Graves-san is an agent for the government it makes sense that they would have lots of money.

“Though outside of just ourselves, there’s also the Togami corporation. Or the Kuzuryuu clan.” Kurosaki-san added.

“Y-you think the yakuza did this?!” Kurohiko-san went pale.

“It’s a very low chance.” Amaterasu-san reassured him. “Plus, they’d need a motive for doing it all, and I doubt any of us are linked to either of those organisations Yuuki-chan mentioned.”

“Hokama is right-“

“Call me Amaterasu.”

“-It’s more likely to be some kind of organisation that’s actually linked to one of us. Though we obviously know little about each other…there must be some connection between us all.” Sly-san murmured.

“Well, we’re all Ultimates. Th-that’s something.” Ram-san scratched the back of her neck as she thought. It’s true. The only thing that really linked us all together was our talents. Other than that, we don’t have anything in common as far as any of us know.

“Unless we all have a mutual acquaintance?” Kurosaki-san smirked. Huh? “Simply throwing the idea, you see. It’s possible we all know the culprit of this incident but don’t realise we all know that person.”

“Th-that’s…kind of hard to wrap my head around.” Kurohiko-san said.

“Kurosaki, stop trying to raise the tension of our situation.” Sly-san warned, “…this is enough. We should get some rest. This day has been a lot for many of us. Let us work hard tomorrow, agreed?”

-Chapter 2 Daily Life, Motive-

That night, we were all gathered in the gymnasium after hearing Monokuma’s announcement. It was a much tenser feeling than the last time this happened since the last time we were summoned to the gym all together…no, it’s not worth thinking about. There’s no way we’d let another…it won’t happen!

“God fucking dammit…” Okanaya-san cursed, “I don’t need this shit right now…that Monokuma bastard is just gathering us here so he can-“

“No no no, don’t even say it! I don’t wanna hear it!” Kurohiko-san covered his ears.

“Kurohiko-sama, please do not act like a victim. It will not help your chances.” Ishikawa-san sighed.

“S-so harsh! That was totally uncalled for!” Kurohiko-san looked ready to cry.

“Yeah, you’re totally savage!” Monokuma’s voice echoed throughout the room. We all looked over to the podium where the bear was kicking his legs in the air without a care in the world. I hated how his relaxed nature made him that much more menacing.

“Gwah!!” Kurohiko-san yelped, latching onto Amaterasu-san’s arm. She simply patted his head as he whimpered behind her.

“Jesus kid, grow some balls.” Monokuma growled. “Anyway, I bet you’re all wondering why I decided to summon you here?”

“Yeah, but if you don’t want to tell us that’s totally fine with us…” Yokozawa-san tried to smirk, but it was clearly faltering.

“As if, nerd!”

“N-nerd?”

“Well, he’s not wrong.” Graves-san said.

“N-nobody asked!” Yokozawa-san flushed.

“As I was saying though. Iiiiiit’s motive time! And I think it’s a pretty good one this time!” Motives…last time it was our unfinished business. Is this going to be something similar, “For this new motive, it doesn’t have a time limit like the last one, so it’ll just apply to the next murder! For the person who kills and wins the class trial…they’ll get one free wish from yours truly!”

“A…wish? What does that entail?” Ishikawa-san asked.

“Ya curious? I don’t blame you! Humans always have some kind of wish. Something that if they had the chance to make it happen, they would take it without hesitation! So, if you guys kill and clear the class trial, you can ask for any wish from me! Even…to spare everybody else from execution.” Monokuma’s eye flashed.

“S…spare us all from execution…?” Irunami-san repeated.

“Of course! One life traded so that everybody can live? It’s a win in the end, don’t you think? So, go ahead and give it a good think through! I know it’s hard to come up with a wish, so…I’ll see ya later!” And with that, Monokuma disappeared.

“If we kill…we could save everyone else from execution…” Irunami-san said it again, slowly a smile formed. “Monokuma-chan’s really trying this time, huh…? There’s no way that what he said is true. Letting us all live would go against the whole point of putting us in a killing game. Don’t’cha think, Ha-chan?”

“U-uh…yeah.” Hachi-san stepped back, a little surprised by Irunami-san’s odd expression.

“It doesn’t matter if it’s the truth or not. Nobody is becoming a sacrifice.” Amaterasu-san said.

“What if someone volunteered though?” Kurosaki-san said.

“Should I take the initiative then?” Sly-san’s flashed a dagger from seemingly nowhere. H-has he had that on him the whole time?!

“It was simply a suggestion. If someone volunteered to be the sacrifice, then it makes it a little better, morally. Am I wrong?” Kurosaki-san grinned, “we’re in a game of life and death so I believe we should all work together and end it as soon as possible. If anyone wants me to kill them, I’ll gladly use my wish to save everyone else.”

“Oi…!” Okanaya-san stepped forward.

“Ah, another fight? Are you going to do this after every motive reveal? Though I don’t have any keys on me this time around, so it’s okay~!” Kurosaki-san half-sang the final sentence. “Though it’s not really a great alternative either. Monokuma’s probably like a genie. A wish like that probably wouldn’t end the killing game.”

“Wh-what…?” Kurohiko-san frowned.

“Confused? Think about it. Simply wishing for nobody to be executed is easy enough…but that doesn’t mean they get to leave with the culprit. And saying they wish to end the killing game…well, that was already going to happen, so that doesn’t save everyone from execution.” Kurosaki-san explained. So, what he was saying is that this motive can’t actually get us out of here with just one death.

“That doesn’t matter…” Ram-san said.

“Huh? Did you say something?” Kurosaki-san smirked.

“W-well…what I mean is…I don’t think anyone will kill…after what we s-saw with Watanabe-san and Kibe-san…I j-just can’t believe anyone w-would kill again…” She fiddled with the strand of hair going down the centre of her face. Kurosaki-san stared at her in surprise for a moment before chuckling.

“How surprising. A girl who can’t even tell us her real name is giving us all a motivational speech. Well, you may be right. It would be nice to think that nobody else will try to kill…though I doubt Monokuma would ever allow something like that…”

Ram-san seemed really bothered when the subject of her name came up. I’ve not actually asked her about that yet, but…I don’t really think it’s the type of thing she’d want to talk about. I want to believe her though, that nobody else is going to kill…that nobody else will have to die.

-Chapter 2 Daily Life, A great idea!-

We all ate in peace the next morning. Well, almost peace. Hachi-san, Shinko-san, and Irunami-san were all mumbling to each other at one of the tables in the corner. It wouldn’t be odd if Shinko-san wasn’t with them. Plus, Ram-san was more poking at her food as if deep in thought about something important. However, I couldn’t complain since Kurosaki-san wasn’t saying anything annoying this time around.

“Alright, commoners, listen here! We have an important announcement to make!” Shinko-san stood up on the table and clapped his hands together.

“Who is he calling common?” Okanaya-san glared.

“I know you’re all feeling extremely lost because of yesterday, but don’t worry because I’m going to solve all your worries with one simple plan! Using the auditorium from the leisure building, we’re going to hold a talent show!”

“A…talent show…?” I repeated.

“Right! Ha-chan, Shin-chan and I all came up with the idea! We figured it would be a good way for us all to get closer to each other, so let’s work together to make this happen!” Irunami-san beamed.

“We all plan on doing a little 20-30 minutes set each, but if anyone else wants to participate then feel free to let us know! It’ll be a lot more exciting if we have more acts in it.” Hachi-san added on.

“Come to think of it, even though we’re Ultimates, a lot of our talents are really…talent show talents…” Ram-san noted.

“I can probably do something.�� Amaterasu-san stuck her hand in the air.

“You’re gonna steal from people as an act?” Shinko-san looked unsure of the idea.

“I can sing.”

“…eh?” He tilted his head. I think there was surprise from everyone in the room. Amaterasu-san looked around the room and cleared her throat. The sound of her singing voice filled the room. It was some kind of sad song but as Amaterasu-san sang I couldn’t help but feel myself relax in my chair. Her surprisingly soothing voice was like a mother singing a lullaby to her child.

“Wh…” Kurohiko-san stared in awe when she finished. “A-Amaterasu-san, that was amazing! H-how are you able to do that?! I can’t sing at all!”

“That’s just because you’re untalented.”

“Y-your just said it straight…” Kurohiko-san sighed.

“Please sing at the talent show.” Asano-san suddenly spoke, her eyes showing a never before seen glimmer. “You have a special second talent, I wish to hear more of it. I hope you do not mind that I made a request without being asked.”

“You don’t have to say it like that. I don’t mind if you ask, and I was planning to anyway, if it’s alright with those three.” Amaterasu-san pointed at Shinko-san, Hachi-san, and Irunami-san.

“O-of course! I’m not unreasonable for fuck sake!” Shinko-san covered his face, clearly trying to hide his flushed cheeks.

“Ammy-chan, we’ll give you a slot so don’t worry about it!” Irunami-san nodded confidently.

“Then we’re gonna need everybody’s help to pull it all together! I can draw up some plans and we can meet in the auditorium around lunchtime, all good?” Hachi-san asked. Everybody agreed quickly. “Great then, that’s all!”

-Chapter 2 Daily Life, Bonus: Man’s Confidence-

“Nagata-kun I have a serious problem…!” Hachi-san whined.

“Huh? Wh-what’s wrong?”

“Well…Kurosaki-kun wants to join in on the talent show and we’ve been brainstorming ideas for his act. We got an idea he was happy with, but the problem is that it requires a costume…but we couldn’t find anything for it!”

“What kind of costume are you looking for?”

“A cowboy one. We found a good hat for it, and Kurosaki-kun already has boots for it but we don’t have chaps.” Hachi-san sighed.

“Actually, I got some from the school store when I was messing around with the Gacha machine. I could give you those if you want.”

“Huh?! Really!? Nagata-kun, you’re the best! Bring them to the auditorium during rehearsals and I’ll take it from there!” I nodded but couldn’t help noticing a mischievous glint from Hachi-san’s eyes under the mask. I had a bad feeling about this, but I don’t want to potentially throw a wrench in the works…I guess I have no choice.

----

I walked into the almost empty auditorium. Hachi-san, Kurosaki-san, Irunami-san, Hokama-san, Shinko-san, and Kurohiko-san were all standing on the stage. “Ah, Nagata-kun you made it! Sorry, the time I told you for rehearsals was actually a little earlier. I wanted to make we had stuff prepared for the acts before everyone else got here!” Hachi-san explained.

“Speaking of which, you did actually bring the costumes, right?” Shinko-san glared at me, as if expecting a negative response to his question.

“Yeah…but why is Kurohiko-san here?”

“W-well…I got too excited about all this and ended up arriving a lot earlier than necessary. That’s really my own fault, I should have known that I would have had more time.” Kurohiko-san mumbled so quietly that I almost didn’t hear him.

“It works out though because I actually might need an assistant for my performance! So, Monsieur Kurohiko would fit the bill perfectly!” Kurosaki-san smirked. “Now, obviously you’ll have to wear the same costume as me. Let’s go get changed!” Kurosaki-san scooped the costume from my hands and dragged Kurohiko-san backstage.

“Keheheheheh…” Hachi-san grinned. Uh-oh.

“Ah, did you really do it?! Ha-chan, you’re really devious!” Irunami-san suppressed a laugh.

“Is devious the right word? I figured we could all use a little bit of laughter these days. Plus, this just falls under one of my many tricks~!” Hachi-san said. I feel like I’ve been played here…

After a few minutes of waiting around, we heard the approaching footsteps of Kurohiko-san and Kurosaki-san. “Hey, Nagata-san, are you sure you brought the whole thing? I don’t think this is all of it…” Kurohiko-san called from the wings.

“It’s fine, just come on out!” Hachi-san yelled back.

“H-hell no! I can’t walk out in this!”

“Come on, Monsieur~ You look perfectly fine! Give them something to gawk at~!” Kurosaki-san sounded like he was smiling.

“W-wait, Kurosaki-san-!” No matter what kind of person you are, nothing can prepare you for the outfits those two were wearing. Kurosaki-san and Kurohiko-san came out in an almost full get up, with the vest, boots, hat, and chaps…but were completely missing their trousers from the outfit.

“O-oi! What kind ‘a get-up is that?! You tryin’ to be funny or something?!” Shinko-san nearly exploded.

“Th-this isn’t my idea! K-Kurosaki-san said this was the whole outfit…!” Kurohiko-san whined trying to cover his underwear.

“Pahahahahahaha!!” Irunami-san collapsed onto the ground in a fit, “I can’t believe Hiko-chan and Saki-chan really wore them!”

“Oh? Was I supposed to be embarrassed wearing this? Apologies, but I’ve wore outfits that revealed way more than this. I just thought this is what you wanted me to wear.” Kurosaki-san shrugged.

“Somehow that’s worse.” Amaterasu-san crossed her arms, staring at Kurohiko-san. She gave him a thumbs up. “You look good.”

“Wh-what does that mean?!” Kurohiko-san flushed further.

“Pff…o-okay, I think that’s good enough for today then. I’ll show you where your actual costumes are.” Hachi-san said. Before the group could leave the stage, the doors to the auditorium swung open and one-by-one the rest of the group filed into the auditorium, each stopping once they saw Kurosaki-san and Kurohiko-san on stage.

“Wh…what the hell? Gross.” Yokozawa-san grimaced.

“I-is this some kind of roleplay thing we walked in on…?” Graves-san half-laughed.

“Is that so? Apologies, if we knew this then we would have avoided walking in. Pleasure is an important thing in life, you should be able to experience it without us here.” Ishikawa-san smiled, it was kind of scary how unfazed she was.

“Nagata, you were doin’ some kinky roleplay shit with Kurosaki and Kurohiko…?” Okanaya-san looked at me confused. Ram-san was behind him, her gaze glued to the floor. I really don’t blame her.

“Th-that’s not what this is at all! R-right, Kurosaki-san?!” Kurohiko-san turned to look at the explorer, but he wasn’t there.

“Ah~ Sly-chan, do you like my outfit~?” Without anyone even realising, Kurosaki-san was draping himself over a clearly pissed off Sly-san. “I put it on just to give you the show of a lifetime, tell me that you’ll join me in my dressing room…?”

“In your dreams.” Sly-san growled.

“Oh? You know its possible for dreams to become reality, if you’re willing…” Kurosaki-san grinned.

“I don’t have a problem killing you in front of everyone.”

I watched as the spat between them continued and Hachi-san led Kurohiko-san away. Okanaya-san and Ram-san walked over to me. “So, uh…you wanna explain what the hell just happened…?” Okanaya-san scratched the back of his head.

“I-it’s a long story…” I sighed, blocking out Kurosaki-san’s taunts as Sly-san tried to punch him.

#Mod J #mod post #DR #Foundation Short Stories #79-C KG AU

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harrieatthemet · 6 years

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Holiday: Chapter 14

A/N: you’ve all been waiting.... here it FUCKING is. I cannot deaaaaaal.

I had become a pro at dodging phone calls. I’d left Harry the voicemail a few days ago, and he had returned it only a few hours later. Too caught up with Anne in the bathroom, I got to my phone just after the call ended. After that, I couldn’t bring myself to call back. He’d call again the next day. Actually, he called a couple times throughout the day. And the next day too, and sprinkle in a few texts. ‘Are you okay?’ Or ‘Why aren’t you answering?’. He’d call Anne, as her week and a half long vacation here came to a close, and she’d brush it off. She’d lie, as I sat vertically across the table from her, telling her to keep it vague. So when he’d ask what I was up to, how I was feeling and if I was functioning like a normal human being, she’d assure him I was as well as could be expected. ‘Keeping herself busy with work’ she’d say, before cleverly rerouting the topic.

She wasn’t lying, honest to God. I truly have been keeping myself busy with work, and had even bitten off a little more than I can chew. I’d made it my job to call over to New York at least three times a week, if not more, just to make sure Molly hadn’t let my dad wither away and hide in his room. She’d call every night, sometimes so late, in the middle of an anxiety attack. Her voice was practically inaudible as she wept loudly into the receiver, leaving me puzzled and incapable of aiding her. In addition to that, I’d taken on a few extra clients to keep myself busy. I found that too much time to myself made me prisoner to my own thoughts, and I wanted to avoid that at all costs. Having Anne here definitely helped, especially since Penelope was being an exceptional handful. When Harry went away, she usually was, since he indulged her in endless attention.

I had a fistful of hair bunched up in my hand, and I pondered whether or not to just tear it right out of my head. A few blueprints were strewn about on the table, mocking me as I tried to figure out what the fuck to do with them. I was running on next to no sleep, since Molly had called at 1 am and wouldn’t hang up until close to 4. Anne was kind enough to help get the kids to school, in fact she was more than willing.

She loved dressing them for school, and she’d been snapping photos of them with their little backpacks the entire time she’s been there. She’d let Quinn hang back, sparing him from daycare so she’d have him around all day. I think her favorite part of the entire endeavor was dressing Penelope in the morning, picking out the prettiest outfits for her. She’d enjoyed watching Penelope teeter into school, linking up with a few of her little buddies from class. I would never accuse Anne of having a favorite grandchild, she adored and doted on all 3. But, she definitely had a soft spot for Penelope. I think a large part of it was because she reminded Anne so much of Harry, so charismatic and a desire to entertain people. I’m sure part of it had to do with the fact that Penelope was the only granddaughter, too.

“Yeh been working all day, Ella.” Anne sighed disapprovingly, walking into my office with a sandwich on a plate.

“M’fine, really.” I yawned, smiling as she placed the plate in front of me.

“ ‘Nd I know yeh not sleeping well, heard y’on the phone late last night. S’not good for you, the baby either.” Anne reprimanded sweetly, frowning at me from the other side of my desk.

The word baby seemed to be a trigger word for me, and my lip instantly found itself in between my teeth as I gnawed at it viciously. I had forgotten all about that, in the midst of everything else going on. It was the reason I was avoiding Harry, because I knew if I’d answer one of his calls I’d unintentionally blurt it out. He was due to fly back to LA in a few days, and I was anxiously anticipating his arrival. We hadn’t really spoke in almost 3 weeks, and the fact that one of the first things we’d discuss is a fourth baby made me lightheaded. As Anne reminded me about my pregnancy, I begun to wonder how Harry was gonna react. Would he be happy? Did he want a fourth? Maybe he didn’t, maybe four was too many. We hadn’t really left off on the best terms, either. I didn’t know if he’d still be a little upset with me when he got back, or which Harry I’d be getting.

“Dont need t’worry about me Anne. I promise I’m alright.” I forced a smile, bringing the end of my pen to my mouth.

“Y’speak t’Harry at all yet?” Anne frowned, shooing the pen away from my mouth as I nibbled at it subconsciously.

“Uh, no,” I whispered, re-occupying myself with a sketch, “haven’t had a minute to call him.”

“Because,” Anne hissed, moving the paper from in front of me, “yeh not makin’ the time. Should really relax, not good t’put all this stress on y’body.”

She did, in fact, have a point. With my mom passing, my workload doubling, and of course the pressing needs of all 3 of my kids, I had put an undeniable amount of stress amongst myself. But I had to, because if I didn’t I’d have too much time to think and that is the last thing I needed to do. Anne had been practically babysitting me the past few days, more than she was the children. She’d check in on me every morning, and make sure all my needs were met every night before I’d go to sleep. The house was pristine, the cleanest it’s probably ever been. She was extra attentive to the toys Quinn would leave laying around the house, scolding him before telling me ‘gonna slip on one o’these if y’not careful’. She’d be right there, when the morning sickness was just about to get the best of me, with a tall glass of water and a few saltines. I was unspeakably grateful, and the thought of her leaving tomorrow made me a little solemn.

“Can’t eat,” I’d grumble, the mere sight of food making my stomach ache unbearably, “lost any and all taste for meat.”

“Little bean doesn’t like meat, hm?” Anne would coo, speaking directly to my belly.

Anne was absolutely over the moon about this fourth baby, and spoke to my belly constantly throughout the duration of the day. When she read the pregnancy test she practically cried. She had started calling it little bean not long after, though she had been gushing to me about how she was absolutely sure it’d be a girl. The mere thought of having a girl made me fear Penelope’s reaction, as she quite enjoyed being daddy’s only princess and relished in the attention. I knew it was killing her, not being able to tell Harry, and for respecting my wishes I was even more appreciative of her (if it was even possible to be).

I, on the other hand, wasn’t really sure about how I felt in regards to another baby. A pregnancy couldn’t have happened at a worse time, as me and Harry had only just started up again, and we clearly were still working out the quirks. On top of that, I was still reeling from the blow of losing my mom. Everything felt like it was being catapulted at me, at warps speed, without allotting me anytime to collect my thoughts. Having three kids already was enough of a job, especially since all 3 of them had very demanding personalities. I didn’t know how the kids would react to a fourth sibling, and for that reason I had kept it to myself. Anne had been badgering me to go for an ultrasound, to know what was going on and get an idea on how far along I was. And I kept promising I would, that I’d do it tomorrow, but each day would come and go and I’d only continue to put it off.

“Four grandkiddies,” Anne sighed happily, “s’just a dream. Y’making me the happiest nana in th’world, sweetheart.”

“M’glad to hear it.” I smiled warmly.

“Make me even happier if yeh’d take a nap, maybe nibble on somethin’ too.” She’d instruct, batting her lashes at me as she coaxed me into following her orders.

I hung my head, chuckling at her attempts to mother me so kindly, before I hesitantly agreed. She smiled proudly, placing a quick kiss to my temple as I strolled out of the room. The house was quiet, since Penelope and Brayden were off at school and Quinn was napping, and I enjoyed the nice lull of silence that was replacing the usual shrieks and squeals.

I hadn’t even gotten halfway across the first floor, en route to the kitchen as ordered by Anne, before I had to completely stop in my track. An all too familiar head rush overcame me, as the room started to blur a bit. My hand subconsciously flew out to the wall, using it to regain balance while the room twirled. I had to shut my eyes for a second, my dizzy spell making my knees go a little weak. It seemed as though they were starting to get noticeably worse, especially if I’d be walking or standing for too long. I hadn’t mentioned it to Anne, because I knew all too well it’d send her into a frenzy and then she’d really be itching to tell Harry. She was already worried enough, and telling her about dizzy spells that were common for the most part seemed unnecessary.

I settled into one of the barstools at the kitchen island, force feeding myself a few apple slices. Anne had sauntered in not long after me, claiming it was so she could start dinner but I knew it was more because she wanted visual proof of me eating something. She was chattering away with me, about silly little things mostly but she’d slip in a conversation or two about the baby. I didn’t know if she could tell that I was monotone when she’d bring it up, if it gave away the slight disinterest I had. And the more she’d go on about it, talking about who’d she think this one would look like, or spewing name inspiration, I couldn’t help but feel so awful. I didn’t understand why I couldn’t get excited about the idea of fourth baby. It had always been a dream of mine, growing a big family and having a lot of kids. Even before our split, I had clued him in on wanting a fourth, and at the time he wasn’t against it. But how would he feel about it now?

“Phone’s buzzing, love.” Anne voiced, turning around from the stove and nodding to my phone.

“I know, it’s fine.” I answered, hoping she’d let it go and not ask who it was.

“Know it’s Harry.” She murmured, turning her back to me and fixing her attention to the stove, “Should really talk t’him, think he’s worried.”

I was quick to let my fingers hover above the phone, debating on whether or not I wanted to answer the call. My thumb decided for me, as it quickly smashed itself on the screen before hitting the end call button. I could hear Anne tsk me from her spot in front of the stove, subtly shaking her head. I was about chime in, doing my best to explain to Anne that it’d be better to tell him in person, but a familiar cry could be head through the baby monitor sitting just beside the fridge. Quinn’s subtle crying turned into wailing, and I hissed as the octave of his voice came screeching through the speaker.

“I’ll grab him.” I breathed out, Anne turning around to fight me on it.

“S’alright love, eat.” She shooed, following me as I walked towards the stair.

“Really, I got him.” I insisted, turning on my heel and going towards the step.

“Oi,” Anne yelped, “Ella! Watch!”

I hadn’t even had the opportunity to ask her what she was screeching about before I could feel the sharp pain stinging the bottom of my foot. Brayden’s little toy car, which he seemingly had forgotten at the foot of the staircase, punctured the sole of my foot. And as if the pain of the spiky thing wasn’t bad enough, the thing faltered my balance before it went gliding across the floor. Anne had dome her best to get across the hall, but not quick enough. My ankle twisted slightly before the front of my body went hurling itself onto the staircase. I threw my hands out in front of me, to soften the blow, but my timing was delayed. I could the front of my forehead smash against the foot of the stair, knocking me out clean.

“Christ, Ella.” A familiar voice groaned, coaxing me out of sleep.

I shifted in the bed, a small hissing sound tumbling out of my mouth as I realized how sore my body felt. Tired, and not to mention a little overwhelmed and hazy, I blinked a few times as I adjusted to harsh lighting of the room. I eventually figured out who was standing in the door, catching sight of a very frazzled looking Harry. He didn’t wait there long, scurrying across the hospital room before standing himself on my bedside. His frown was prominent, bags under his eyes a little more noticeable than usual. He looked worried, and stressed out, and I had to remind myself that my tumble to the floor had landed me here in this uncomfortable hospital bed. His eyes flew around the room, analyzing the dinginess of it all while looking a little unsettled. He never really liked hospitals.

“Yeh busted the bloody thing right open!” He breathed, leaning in a little to look at the small wound just beneath my hairline.

“Thought you were coming home tomorrow.” I mumbled, shying away from his stare.

“I mean,” he started scoldingly, “y’didn’t answer any of my calls, or texts and it was really making me-“

“Your mom was with me. I would’ve made it another day just fine.” I answered defensively, his frown furrowing deeper.

“Clearly not!’ He chuckled lowly, settling into a spot just beside me, “s’everything alright?”

I wasn’t sure why he was asking. A part of me started to grow antsy, because I was missing a few pieces and I didn’t want to open my big fat mouth and accidentally give him more information than he already had. I didn’t know how long I was out for, or if Harry came straight here from the airport. I also had no idea if he had spoken to Anne upon his arrival, which meant I didn’t know what there conversation had consisted of if there had even been one. A trip to the hospital was sure to have sent Anne into an absolute fit, and she was probably worried about what my fall had done to the baby. I wasn’t sure if she had let it slip to Harry, although I’m sure if she did he’d be much more cross with me. Of course, I was planning on telling him eventually, but I wasn’t sure how I’d go about it. I had assumed I’d have at least another day to think about it at least.

“M’fine.” I answered flatly, earning a very judgmental eye roll from Harry.

“Mum said y’been dizzy a lot,” he lectured, “not eatin’ right, ‘nd not sleepin’ much. Really, Ell, yeh makin’ m’nervous.”

“Well don’t be!” I assured, patting his hand, “No need to panic, told you I’m fine. Mean it, too.”

“Wanna tell yeh m’sorry.” His tone was serious, his fingers keeping my hand placed above his, “ ‘nd not just for like, one thing. I mean fo’ everything, really, ‘cus I been takin’ yeh fo’ granted. Gonna start bein’ honest with yeh, I promise.”

Fucking great. If I didn’t already feel like shit, literally and figuratively, I was even worse off now. I knew it took a lot from him to apologize, because he never cared to admit that he was wrong. The whole being honest bit made my chest get anxiously tight, because if he knew about the secret I had been keeping from him for over a week, his head would come spinning right off. Then, I started to feel guilty. I felt guilty because what my mom had said was right. He really did care about me, enough to fess up to his wrongdoings. And, in addition to that, I really had been keeping myself closed off to him. The word vomit was bubbling in my throat, and if the doctor hadn’t walked in the second he did I don’t even know what would’ve came out of my mouth.

“How we doing in here Ms Hansen?” He sung, causing Harry’s face to contort in distaste at the sound of my maiden name replacing my married one.

“Much better.” I lied, the twinge of pain from my cut on my head starting up again.

“Did yeh talk t’my mum? She tell yeh all the symptoms Ella’s been havin’?” Harry spoke up, swiveling his back to face the doctor.

“I did,” the doctor smiled, grey eyebrows wiggling a little, “totally normal.”

“Normal?” Harry repeated slowly, “Passing out like tha’ is normal? ‘Nd the dizzy spells, all that? Normal?”

I could feel my heart rate start to excel, as Harry was approaching dangerous territory. I was sure Anne had mentioned to the doctor I was pregnant, if it wasn’t the very first thing she told him. I thought about cutting him off, or asking Harry to leave the room. It was a shit idea, because I knew Harry would refuse to leave and even pick a fight with me about how he absolutely needed to stay in order to hear every detail. The doctor nodded, taking a seat in the medical chair as he whipped out a small clipboard with a few attached sheets stuck to it. Harry was watching him, knee jumping nervously as his grip on my hand tightened.

“The passing out, definitely not. Poor dieting and sleep patterns can attribute to that, Ella, so it’s important fix that. Especially now.” The doctor instructed, scribbling something down on one of the sheets.

“Yep, got it. That’s it?” I was speaking fast, much faster than my brain was working.

“Why now? Told me y’were alright, Ella.” Harry’s voice was frantic as he turned to look at me, annoyed that I was keeping him out of the loop.

“The dizzy spells are normal, but take it easy for a little while. You’re starting the second trimester in a few weeks, sometimes the dizziness sticks around.”

The words that fell from the doctors mouth practically made my heart stop working altogether. My face went blank, my body immediately freezing up as I felt Harry’s grip on my hand loosen. His brows furrowed, for a moment, as I presumed he was repeating to himself what the doctor had just said.

And then a puzzled look swept over his face, “Second trimester?”

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