#maybe if i just skim the flashbacks ill be fine | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

kyber-crystal · 3 years

Text

steady || obi-wan kenobi

summary: even amidst the chaos of the war, obi-wan is always there to remind you that you don’t have to carry your burdens alone.

words: ~1.8k

warnings: mentions of death, violence, flashbacks to traumatic events (essentially mild PTSD), angst-to-fluff, mutual pining (oops my cliche side has jumped out here)

a/n: requested by the one and only @rentskenobi !! i’m sorry if this was really bad lol this is actually my first time writing for him. the middle-end was really poorly written i’m so sorry fffff

The war was beginning to take a toll on you.

It was affecting everyone to an extent, of course. As you walked around the halls you were met with tired eyes and lowered, worn-out voices telling you that you weren’t the only one who felt completely drained.

You threw yourself into your work—working extra hours with the Council and helping strategize battle plans, organizing committees and having longer meditation sessions with Yoda. If sacrificing a good night’s sleep was what it took to keep all the intrusive thoughts at bay, then you were more than willing to take up on the offer.

You did your best to keep your head held high but as time passed, it grew increasingly difficult. Hope seemed too far away on the horizon for you to reach out to it and actually believe it was in fact, going to get better. You were trying, but it got harder every day.

And Obi-Wan noticed. As a Jedi, you’d trained yourself to show no emotion whatsoever, or very little if you ever did—but being as observant as he was, he was quick to notice. It was all the little things that gave it away—the way you were constantly clearing your throat before speaking because it sounded hoarse and wobbly—as if you were on the verge of tears, the dark circles underneath your red-rimmed eyes, and how your hands always went up to fiddle with the moon-shaped charm he’d given you that hung from your neck.

You hadn’t eaten or slept in a solid six days. The dull migraine at the back of your head and sharp hunger pangs in your stomach told you to rest up and get proper nutrients into your body, but you ignored them. Maybe if you keep yourself on your feet, it’ll be easier to forget, you told yourself.

But no matter how much you tried to convince yourself that you were okay, the guilt still sat heavily upon your shoulders.

You knew you could’ve stopped them; you had all the power to. But you didn’t. You couldn’t, and you failed.

It was only a few weeks into the war when you’d lost your old mentor, your friend, your parental figure whom you stayed close to long after you’d completed your Trials—and, being who you were, you took it upon yourself to put all the blame on your shoulders. Because technically, it was, was it not? You knew if you’d gotten there in time, if you were even just the tiniest bit faster and more observant and paid better attention, she would be alive.

You caught a glimpse of your reflection in the bathroom’s mirror as you entered your quarters, and did a double take.

Gripping the edges of the sink, you stared back at the woman in the mirror. Her hair, normally plaited in elegant braids or pulled back into an updo, tumbled loosely and informally down her shoulders. Were those eye bags always there to begin with? Or had they recently appeared?

It was maybe half an hour or so later that you finally crawled into bed—without bothering to change. Fatigue was pressing down on your body rather heavily, but sleep never came.

You woke up screaming.

There was no way in hell you were going back to sleep—not when the prospect of your premonitions coming true were still fresh in your mind. You weren’t going to lose him the way you lost your master—the thought alone was too much to bear.

Without thinking about what you were doing, you got out of bed and quietly made your way down the hall.

Obi-Wan yawned as he opened the door and rubbed his eyes with one hand. “It’s 2 in the morning, what—Y/N, what are you doing awake?” He immediately paused when he saw the remnants of teartracks on your cheeks, falling silent as he placed a gentle hand on your back and ushered you inside.

Without a word, you climbed into bed, and Obi-Wan didn’t say anything either as he pulled the sheets over you.

You longed to be like him—to spend your nights not worrying about being plagued with terrifyingly realistic nightmares, to fall asleep almost at the very moment your head hit the pillow. The last time you remembered such a thing happening to you had been nearly a full year ago—but with the way time passed you by now, it felt like a lifetime. You wanted to ask Obi how in Force’s name did he sleep so well amongst an intergalactic war with seemingly no end to all its pain and suffering?

"What’s on your mind?”

“Nothing,” you mumbled as you turned your face more towards the pillow. It smelled just like him—warm coffee and citrus—and for a moment, it seemed to calm you down.

He sighed, and carefully slid in between the sheets right next to you. “Why don’t you try and sleep, alright? You need rest.”

"Mhmm.”

“Now get some rest, my love.”

You woke up sweating bullets, chest rising and falling as you struggled to catch your breath. You initially panicked when you looked around and couldn’t see Obi-Wan, but your shoulders sagged in relief upon seeing he was still there, sleeping peacefully right next to you, his hand brushing against yours ever-so-gently.

He stirred in his sleep slightly as you pushed yourself up into a sitting position.

“Y/N?” he mumbled, still only half-conscious as he turned to face you, immediately sitting up as well as he saw you staring blankly ahead. “Y/N. Are you alright? You’re trembling.”

“I’m fine,” you replied, but the shakiness in your tone gave it away. “Obi-Wan, go back to sleep. I’m fine.”

“No, you’re not.” He took your hand in his, gently rubbing patterns into your palm. Force, the way his blue eyes shone brightly even in the dark...the way the seemed to stare straight into your soul...

“I can’t sleep.”

Obi-Wan paused for a moment. He got up out of bed and motioned for you to do the same.

“What are you...”

“Shh. Come with me, there’s something I want to show you.”

His warm hand slipped into yours again as he led you down the hallway and up a long, winding staircase, and kept holding on until you finally reached the top, pushing open the heavy doors together to reveal a sprawling, open balcony.

“What is this place?” You were practically speechless as you stared up at the star-littered sky.

“It’s one of the meditation balconies...I often come here when I find that I can’t fall back asleep. Stargazing is rather helpful in clearing the mind.”

“It’s beautiful,” you exhaled. “It’s so hard for me to find time to come even during the day...”

You sought solace in staring up at the skies. It was rare, being able to gaze upwards into a cloudless, clear abyss when you were so often surrounded by the atrocities of war. So you were grateful for any night in which you were able to see the stars.

“You seem tired,” he noted, gazing worriedly at your appearance.

“Who isn’t at this point?” you exhaled, faking a laugh. “I’d be genuinely surprised to find someone around here who gets adequate rest.”

“Y/N, please tell me what’s going on.”

“I’m fine, Obi-Wan. I keep telling you there’s no need to worry.”

“No, you’re not.”

“What?” The sudden sternness in his tone took you by surprise.

“You’re not okay, Y/N. You haven’t slept properly in a week, nor have you had any proper nourishment along with it. You almost passed out in the middle of sparring with Anakin, and Master Windu released you from yesterday morning’s meeting early because you were on the verge of knocking out cold. You don’t think I’ve noticed? I’m worried...if you don’t tell me what’s wrong, how am I supposed to help?”

You bit your lip and anxiously fiddled with your thumbs. “I haven’t slept in six days. Seven...if you count when I fell asleep during that meeting.”

“A week? If you keep it up, you’re going to fall ill. You almost have.”

“I can’t sleep.”

“Why not?”

You shook your head. “I had a bad dream."

“And you didn’t bother to tell me?” Obi looked more concerned rather than upset. “Y/N.”

“I didn’t want to be a burden to you. You have enough on your plate as it is,” you mumbled.

“You’re not a burden. I’d much rather listen and help you than have you go through it alone.”

You let out a long sigh and crossed your arms over your chest, staring blankly out at the darkened horizon. It seemed that everything nowadays served as some sort of bad omen. “I’ve been having these dreams for months on end...but I don’t even know if that’s what you can call them anymore. And I can’t lose you. I can’t let any of this become real.”

“You won’t lose me, Y/N, you have my word.”

“Are you sure?”

“Dreams pass in time.”

Releasing a shaky breath, you leaned forward and pressed your forehead against his broad shoulder, letting him slide his arms around your waist and gently kiss the top of your head. He lets his lips linger there; neither of you say anything about it.

Obi-Wan found himself going down a risky path. He knew better than to grow attached. But now that he was made well aware of your fear over losing him, his equal fear towards having you taken away from him as well had become too prominent for him to to keep brushing off to the side. If he couldn’t do so much as protect himself from imminent danger, he would do everything in his power to keep you safe under his wing for as long as he could.

He glances down at your peacefully dozing figure for several moments. You looked so serene, so young, while you slept all curled up against him and wrapped up in the sheets. And right then and there, the thought of wondering how it’d be to wake up next to you every day for the rest of his life hits him like a truck.

Brushing your hair away from your forehead, he places a hand to your face and skims his thumb across your cheekbone. He wants to stay like this, even if it’s only for a little while longer.

This isn’t right, he tells himself. But he can’t resist; there’s something about you that prevents him from doing so.

“You’re staring,” you mumbled, eyes still closed.

Obi blinked in surprise, slightly taken aback. “You’re awake.”

“...What time is it?”

“Half past nine.”

“I’m going back to sleep,” you muttered, throwing the sheets over your face to cool yourself down. Despite your effort, you could still feel your face burning. “I haven’t rested in six days. Goodnight.”

He chuckled, leaning down to kiss your forehead. “Alright. Sleep well, my love.”

tags (including sw mutuals that might be interested): @haydens-moles @thedevilwearsbeskar @propertyofdindjarin @arkofblake @stardust-kenobi @poesflygirl @voguesir @fl0ating @anakinswhore @rynhaswritersblock @dracos-jedi-marvel @marvel-dameron

drop an ask to be added or fill out my taglist form here!

#star wars #obi wan kenobi #obi wan kenobi x reader #obi wan imagine #star wars fluff #star wars imagine #obi wan kenobi x you #obi wan kenobi x y/n #obi wan x reader #star wars preferences #star wars fic #i'm sorry this wasn't the best #i feel so bad bc this is long overdue #but i hope you enjoy

139 notes · View notes

amandaoftherosemire · 6 years

Text

Sing For Me - Chapter Twenty-seven

Fandom: Marvel Avengers AU

Pairing: Bucky Barnes X OFC (Sasha)

Characters: Bucky Barnes, OFC Sasha, Steve Rogers, Wanda Maximoff, Dr. Christine Palmer, Natasha Romanoff, Tony Stark, Clint Barton

Author: @amandaoftherosemire

Rating: Mature

Word Count: 4,377

Format: Series (Complete)

Warning: Angst, mentions of and flashbacks to torture, imprisonment, and murder.

Summary: Sasha checks in on Zoe and tells everyone her story at breakfast.

A/N: Not consistent with Marvel canon. This is my first foray into writing fanfiction. I’m open to and eager for any constructive criticism and feedback. Despite the warnings, most of this is fluff and happy with just a little angst. This is more of a transitional chapter. The next one will have more answers.

Banner by @hellzzzbelle

Sing For Me Masterlist

Chapter Twenty-six here

Chapter Twenty-seven

Leaning heavily on Bucky, his arm around her shoulders, Sasha shuffled into the med-bay in cushy, fuzzy slippers. With her hair bundled off her neck for the first time since her capture, she was almost feeling human. She'd gone for warm and comfortable in old yoga pants that had been washed a thousand times and a support tank since a bra pressed painfully on sore muscles and raw skin.

She'd topped it with a giant hoodie belonging to Bucky she'd found in her bed. It smelled like him and she couldn't resist. Her face dead serious and never breaking eye contact with him, she had pulled it on and zipped it up. When he laughed out loud at her, another tightly wound part of her relaxed. She thought three-thousand calories followed by ten hours of uninterrupted sleep in the deepest dark she could find and she might feel like Sasha again.

Before any of that could happen, however, she needed to find out what was going on with Zoe. Her eyes skimmed over Steve and Wanda to land on Zoe's still form. Shuffling forward out of Bucky's bracing arm, she rushed as much as she was able to the little girl's hospital bed. Despite the clean hospital gown and hooked up to monitors and an IV drip, Zoe didn't look ill. She looked like she was sleeping peacefully, her chest rising and falling evenly.

Sasha took the little girl's hand and squeezed it gently, her heart hurting a little at how small and frail she looked in the big bed. “Why does she have an IV?” she asked, worried.

At the gentle touch to her arm, Sasha jolted around to look at Dr. Palmer. “It’s just saline,” the doctor said, smiling. “She was a little dehydrated.”

“Christine,” Sasha said, wrapping the woman in a warm hug. “It’s so good to see you.”

Christine laughed and hugged Sasha back. “Likewise,” she replied, pulling back to arm’s length to fix Sasha with a stern look. “And how are you feeling?”

Sasha dismissed the question with a wave of her hand. “I’m fine,” she answered, far more concerned with Zoe’s condition. “Do you know why she hasn’t woken up?”

“She’s not fine,” Bucky piped up, and continued despite Sasha’s scowl in his direction. “She needs you to look at her feet.”

Christine’s lips twitched as she spoke. “I don’t know why she’s still unconscious. It’s like regular sleep except we can’t wake her. I have options but since I don’t know what caused the unconsciousness, I’m hesitant to use them.” Christine glared at Sasha. “Now what about your feet?”

Sasha shot Bucky a withering stare and ignored the question. “I used my power to make her go to sleep, and it had some punch behind it. I didn’t want her to see what happened.”

Christine pursed her lips and considered. “Maybe she needs you to wake her up.”

Sasha sighed. “Too bad I’m tapped.”

Christine slid her arm around Sasha’s shoulders and started leading her away from Zoe’s bed. Sasha’s shuffling gait wasn’t lost on the doctor. “It’s not going to hurt her to sleep awhile longer. Why don’t you get some rest and try when you’re not so exhausted?”

Sasha chuckled lightly, “That obvious, huh?”

Christine squeezed her shoulders gently and replied, “Visible from space. Now let’s get you examined and treated.”

Sasha, knowing from previous experience that there was no point in arguing with Christine once she decided to take care of someone, huffed nonetheless. She decided if she had to be treated, she’d take a much-needed minute with Wanda. “Fine. But I want Wanda to come with me.”

With a grin, Sasha held out her bare hand to Wanda, who had been trying to remain unobtrusive, still a little afraid Sasha blamed her. The wide smile and outstretched hand put her fears to rest and she walked forward to close Sasha in a hug.

“You’ve been blaming yourself, haven’t you?” Sasha said as she returned Wanda’s hug. “Silly witch, you’re not omniscient.”

As they turned to walk toward a private room, Bucky stepped forward to follow. Sasha held up a hand. Honestly, she needed to fall apart and she didn’t want to put Bucky through that again so soon. “I don’t think so, Barnes,” she said, archly. “You’re pushy and a jerk, so you get to keep Steve company.” Without waiting for a response, she shuffled into the exam room and closed the door with a snap.

Bucky let out a shuddering sigh as soon as the door closed and began to blink back tears. “Jesus Christ, Stevie. Jesus Christ.”

Steve put his hand on Bucky’s shoulder, his face falling. He had been wearing a smile at Sasha’s playful demeanor. He had been hoping it meant she had escaped relatively unscathed. “Buck, what is it?” he asked softly.

“He beat her, Steve. Repeatedly. She’s limping because he beat the arches of her feet with a cane.”

Steve was infuriated. He thought of Sasha as soft and sweet and the very idea that someone could deliberately hurt her left him angry and disappointed with the world in general. “They’re not going to get away with it.”

Bucky lifted wet eyes to Steve’s and something dark and dangerous passed between them, matching reckless grins spreading across their faces. Steve Rogers had an intrinsic disdain for bullies and an impulsive heart that led him into any number of unnecessary battles. When Bucky Barnes, who was supposed to be the level-headed one, went to war at Steve’s side, they were a force to be reckoned with. “No. They’re fucking not,” Bucky growled.

Trying to comfort, Steve went on. “And we got her back. That’s what really matters.”

Bucky turned away, his fists clenching in frustrated fury. “That’s just the start, though, Steve. I don’t know what all they did to her, but it was bad. She flinches at any unexpected touch. She’s afraid she’s hallucinating, and she mutters her own name under her breath like she’s trying to remind herself.”

Steve was heartbroken. He knew better than most what humans were capable of doing to each other, but he never stopped hoping for better. At times like this it felt like a curse. “Fuckin’ Christ,” he breathed, New York ripe in his voice.

Bucky snorted. Somehow, hearing Steve sound like he did back before he felt the weight of Captain America’s shield made Bucky feel better. “There’s the Brooklyn.”

“Aw!” Sasha’s voice had both men turning to look at her. Still standing in the doorway of the exam room, having come to a halt to cry out, she whined, “Steve went all Brooklyn-y and I missed it? Do it again, Steve!”

Bucky stepped forward to save Steve, whose face was starting to go pink. “Come on, doll,” he said. “Let’s get you fed.”

Before he finished the sentence she was moving forward, a little more easily than she had been. Seeing the evidence of anger and sadness on both his and Steve’s faces told her immediately that they had been discussing something to do with her.

When he reached her, she reached up to take his face between her palms. Needing to comfort, she pulled his face down to hers and kissed away from his cheek a tear he hadn’t noticed had fallen.

Laying her lips against his, she kissed him with a little hum. “It’s real,” she murmured, resting her cheek against his. “I’m home.”

Bucky slipped his arms gently around her to pull her close. She rested her head on his chest, tucking her head under his chin. Squeezing him tightly, she said softly, “I’d rather know you’re real, Bucky, even if it hurts.”

Bucky rubbed his cheek against her hair and answered, “I don’t want you to ever hurt.”

Sasha’s emotions rose up and choked her into silence. Resting her head against Bucky’s chest, his arms warm and protective around her, felt like heaven. Overwhelmed with love and relief, she had to clear her throat to respond. “Pain fades,” she rasped, and tilted her head back to smile sweetly up at him.

The sight of that sweet smile eased the worst of the storm inside him and helped him set aside dreams of vengeance for the time being. His hands instinctively moving in soothing circles over her back, he asked, “How are you feeling?”

Sasha glared at him playfully. “Better,” she replied drily. “Happy now?”

“Getting there.” With a nod and a “Thanks, doc,” to Christine, he moved to Sasha's side and let her brace herself on his arm.

“I’ll be back in a few hours,” Sasha said to the doctor. “Let me know if anything changes?”

Christine started pushing Sasha gently towards the door. “Of course. Now go. Eat. Sleep.”

With a small chuckle, Sasha let herself be led out. On their way to elevator, Bucky put his arm around her shoulder and squeezed her gently against his side. “She’ll be okay,” he said, trying to reassure. “Hungry?”

As they stepped into the elevator, Sasha tipped her head back with a groan that shot straight to Bucky’s gut. “Oh god,” she moaned. “I’m having pornographic fantasies about food right now.”

Bucky stayed silent, that moan playing havoc with his libido. He found himself partly grateful for the presence of Steve and Wanda. He could feel that Sasha was still too shaky and vulnerable for the things that moan had him fantasizing about.

Wanda smirked. "You really are," she laughed. "I didn’t know you could make love to pot au chocolat while also consuming it."

Steve blushed rosy red and shook his head, smiling. "How? You know what, I don't want to know."

Sasha tipped her head back and laughed as the doors opened to the communal living area. "Now Stevie," she said as they exited the elevator, "when a woman and a pot au chocolat love each other very much…"

Steve rolled his eyes and walked ahead of them to the kitchen as Wanda and Bucky laughed. As Wanda followed, Bucky pulled Sasha to a stop. Turning her to face him, he gave her a flirtatious smile and growled, "Go on."

Shaky Sasha may have been, but she wasn't dead. Flirty Bucky was and would probably always be one of her greatest weaknesses. Exulting at the warm desire spreading through her veins, she celebrated the feel of normal, healthy lust. With a siren smile, she murmured, "You find me pot au chocolat and I’ll show you."

Bucky scooped Sasha up in his arms as she squeaked in surprise and humor and ran for the kitchen yelling, "Tony! Any pot au chocolat in this tower?"

Skidding to a halt in the kitchen, Sasha's eyes widened at the mammoth amount of food spread all over the island and counters. Breakfast foods and pie of nearly every type covered every surface and everyone was crammed together loading up plates while they waited for her.

Tony was shouting back as he turned, “No, but there’s French silk pie,” but he was almost drowned out by the cheer that erupted when they all saw Sasha grinning in Bucky's arms.

Bucky gave her a hopeful look and she answered it with a pitying glance and a shake of her head. "Not the same thing at all. Now put me down, you oaf," she said with a wiggle of her shoulders. "They're gonna think I'm delicate."

As he bent to set her feet carefully on the floor, he kissed her temple and murmured, "Not delicate, doll. Just precious."

"Excuse me!" Sasha raised her voice to be heard and everyone, for once, immediately quieted down. "First hug goes to whoever thought up breakfast foods and pie for my homecoming banquet."

Natasha sauntered forward with a smug half-smile on her face while Tony scoffed. "I paid for it," he snarked as Sasha wrapped her arms around Nat and rocked back and forth.

Nat would have pulled away, but Sasha held on. "He told me you were dead," she murmured, old grief and terror rising up to steal most of her voice. "After a while, it got hard to convince myself he was lying." Nat's eyes shot to Bucky's and in them she found the same cold rage she felt herself.

Sasha laughed when Tony moved into her line of sight holding something in a wrapper and grinning cheekily at her. Rolling her eyes, she let Nat go to enfold Tony in a warm hug. He hugged her back briefly before pulling away to push what he held into her hands. "What is this?" she asked as she started to unwrap it.

"An American cheeseburger."

Sasha knew the story. Hell, she'd seen the press conference where he ate the damn cheeseburger from her hospital bed after she'd tried to take her own life. She'd given him shit about the cheeseburger, but she'd never told him she had found his no-fucks-to-give attitude in the face of imprisonment, torture, and escape inspiring as fuck in that moment. She wouldn't tell him now, either, but she unwrapped the burger and took a bite. "Val should have known that a Tony Stark protégée would be a bite more than he could chew," she said, her mouth full.

Tony laughed. "I’ll drink to that," he said with a wink, lifting his coffee mug in a toast.

“You’ll drink to dryer lint.” Sasha swallowed the bite of cheeseburger and smirked. “So, that's Irish in that coffee then?” Lightning quick, she snatched the mug out of his hand and took a drink. ”Ugh,” she said with a grimace and handed it back. Espresso and something like a half cup of sugar, it tasted like jet fuel. “What is wrong with you?" she asked, sticking out her tongue and making gagging noises.

Sasha moved around the room, hugging everyone and making jokes. While she did so, Bucky was making her coffee while Natasha plated up the French toast she was sure Sasha would want. By the time she reached Steve, there was a place at the table ready for her.

Sasha exclaimed as she threw her arms around Steve's waist, "I haven’t hugged you yet!" Squeezing him as tight as she could, she growled with the exertion while Steve just laughed at her efforts. He closed his huge arms around her and hugged her back as gently as he could.

"Steve," she said, and leaning back to look up at his warm smile Sasha was struck by the sweetness of his face. She knew he didn't want to ask her. Just as she knew Steve would always do what he didn't want to when needed, no matter how much it hurt him. Unwilling to let Steve shoulder anything else, she took Steve's face between her palms and smiled. "French toast first. Then…" she paused and raised her eyes to the ceiling consideringly, "most of the story. Then coconut cream pie. Then the rest of the story."

Steve chuckled lightly and nodded. "Sounds good to me."

She shook Steve slightly and let go, turning to Bucky waiting at her arm to help her to the table. When she saw the plate of French toast waiting for her, she grinned at Nat, sitting across the table and delicately eating her own breakfast. Sasha sat and picked up the coffee. After the first sip of sweet hazelnut coffee goodness, she turned to Bucky with near literal hearts in her eyes. She fisted her hand in his shirt and tugged him down for a long, warm kiss.

Bucky was blushing when she let him go. Sasha had never been so affectionate in front of the others and he wasn't sure how to deal with it.

"If I fall into a food coma, will you carry me to bed?" she asked.

"Eat," he instructed. "And don’t ask me stupid questions." With a tender smile, he brushed his thumb over the scar on her cheek and turned to get his own breakfast. Sasha began to shovel in the French toast with a groan of pleasure at the taste of real food.

A short time later Sasha asked herself out loud as she polished off the last bite of French toast on her plate, "How to explain Valentin Morozov without giving you indigestion?" She felt slightly ill, having eaten five pieces of French toast in record time but real food had been too delicious. Val had ordered that she be put on a weird liquid-bread tasting meal replacement shake after the end of the third week.

Valentin was taunting her with Natasha's death as he lined up his strike. He was using a riding crop now and wanted to carefully place the thin scars that would result with the use of the balm developed by his scientists. Developed specifically for Morozov's sadistic needs to cause pain while assisting in healing, Sasha hated the damn stuff. A happy benefit for Morozov, as he fancied himself an artist, the assisted healing resulted in far more severe scarring than would normally take place.

"It really is too bad about Ms. Romanoff. Were you very close, Alexandra?" he asked before with a whish and a crack he brought the crop down in the middle of her back. As he circled her she shook her hair back and lifted her head. She'd been focusing on staying silent during these "lessons". Perhaps it was time to say fuck it.

"You better hope she is dead, Val. She's my bestie, you know." She smirked as she said this, her voice sassy and smug.

Valentin raised an eyebrow as he adjusted his angle, bringing the crop down with a whoosh only to tap her with it. It made her jolt every time, but she couldn't help herself. "I find it hard to believe the Black Widow has a 'bestie'," he replied, "but it is adorable to watch you threaten me from such a vulnerable position." With a crack, he struck her again.

Sasha hissed in a breath but controlled the scream. She went on like he hadn't hit her. "Um, I've painted her toenails. We're besties. Even if we weren't I've got all sorts of friends." She delivered this last with sly look. She knew Katie had reported her relationship with Bucky to him.

Valentin frowned at her conversational tone while he tested out his next strike. Swoosh, tap. Swoosh, tap. To tell the truth, he was a little concerned by the former Winter Soldier, but he reminded himself that ghost stories didn't frighten him anymore. Besides, his new sun would shine for only him. "By the time they find you, I'll have you nice and pliant, Alexandra. Then we'll see." Swoosh. Crack. Scream.

Sasha shook her head to dispel the memories. She wondered how long before they would fade a little. How much time would she need before they weren't breathing down her neck? More than a few hours, drama queen, she thought to herself. She looked up, a little embarrassed to be the center of attention in this way. She was uncomfortable being the focus of so many sympathetic eyes.

Maybe it was better that she was tapped out. She didn't know if she could continue if she could feel that sympathy, despite it coming from a place of understanding. None who sat there this morning was a stranger to trauma or pain.

Sasha put on a brave smile, and sat back, placing a casual arm over the back of her chair. Her tone nonchalant, she started, "Well, I got this…" tapping the scar on her left cheek "…my first day there." She shrugged her shoulders and laughed, darkly. "What can I say? I'm an asshole."

She went on from there, starting with Karen. She hadn't ever found out exactly how Katie's power worked as they could never talk without being monitored, but she wanted to make sure that everyone understood that Katie had been more than she appeared, that no one was to blame. She needed to make it clear that she had known from the start that Katie had used that power against them.

Sasha explained that over the course of her captivity, she had discovered that Valentin had been planning this off and on for years. He had purchased the vibranium from Klaue before the Ultron mess. After hearing about the death of his mistress' cousin's boy during a home invasion, he found himself fascinated by the girl who had survived the assault relatively unscathed. His research into her had led him to believe that he could use vibranium to harness her power to create a mass weapon.

Morozov had been about to make his move when Sasha had gone to work for Tony Stark, forcing him to change his plans. He had to find a way to lure her in rather than snatching her from her apartment as he had intended, and he had to find a place to hold her that would prevent her from being found quickly. Hence, the bunker made from an old mine under the compound in the mountains of Washington State.

She spoke briefly, and dismissively, of the beatings, torture, and brainwashing techniques used against her to make her compliant with Morozov's will but refused to linger on it. No one considered asking for more detail. Sasha chose not to speak of those things with the group at large, her emotions too unstable to deal with it when she knew she was going to have to talk about Sergei.

Her voice low, she started to tell them about the night she first found out about Valentin's weapon and her place in it. When she got to the part when they tortured a young Hydra boy to experiment with how her emotions moved through the machine, tears spilled down her face. Bucky, moved his hand from its place on her knee to slide his arms around her shoulders and pull her close.

Sasha sighed and rested her head on his shoulder, grateful to lean on his strength when hers was so sapped. "When I wouldn't give in, wouldn't beg him to make it stop, he had Trevor the Walking Bag of Shit kill him to punish me. And with that, I need coconut cream pie.”

“Come on!” Clint’s shout made them all jump. “You can’t stop there!”

Sasha laughed, releasing the tension and letting everyone else laugh along. "I'm sorry, Clint!" she cried. "But pie!" She looked up when Steve cleared her breakfast plate and replaced it with a piece of coconut cream pie. "If I wasn't stupid over your best friend here, I'd fight for you, Steve."

Under her breath, Natasha murmured with a half-smile, "You'd lose." Sasha shot her a laughing smile and winked. She couldn't wait to get Nat alone to grill her about Steve.

As she ate her pie, she started to tell them about Zoe, how she'd found her in her cell that night and decided then and there that getting Zoe out was her primary goal. Once she was done with her pie, she continued to eat, stuffing herself full of eggs and bacon before moving on to a slice of cherry pie. Just as she was getting to the events of the previous evening, Bucky was sliding a piece of key lime pie in front of Sasha with an impressed look on his face.

At this, Sam asked disbelieving, "How are you still eating?"

Sasha chuckled as she speared a piece of pie with her fork. "God, I don't know. I'm about to burst."

"Then stop!" Bucky said as he started to pull the pie away again, yanking his hand back with a yelp when Sasha stabbed him with her fork.

"Paws fucking off, asshole," she said, circling her plate with her arm and scarfing down the rest of the pie while she glared daggers at Bucky who shook his hand and laughed. Polishing off the last bite, she pushed her chair back with a groan at her overfull stomach. Despite this, she looked longingly at the custard pie close to her.

"No!" Bucky exclaimed, correctly reading the considering look on her face. "You're gonna make yourself sick."

"Worth it," she muttered petulantly.

"Go on with your story, Crazy Girl," Tony spoke up.

With a pouty twist to her lips, she went on. Here was the sticking point, to be honest. "I don't know exactly what happened," she said, frowning. "I just know that when I woke up from taking a fucking ham to the face, I looked down and saw Zoe strapped to that bed, my palms on her face. I fucking lost it."

When she stopped, everyone waited silently, expecting her to continue but in her mind she was lost again to the dragon, bathed in wildfire, and staring into Valentin's sightless eyes.

"Sasha?" Steve said her name gently, recognizing the look on her face. He'd seen that look many times before and knew she was reliving part of her own personal hell. When her eyes lifted to his, he smiled kindly at her. "I think we can figure out the rest. You can give us details later."

Sasha gave him a grateful smile. She honestly hadn't been sure she would be able to go on. Between the rawness of her own emotions, the carb heavy meal she just gorged on, and sheer unrelenting exhaustion, she may have shattered had she tried.

"I'm sorry, doll," Bucky said, cuddling her close. "One more question and I'll carry you to bed, okay?"

Sasha snuggled in, her eyes already trying to close. She held them open with an effort. "Deal."

"Where are they?" Bucky asked. "Val, Trevor, Katya?"

Sasha let her eyes fall closed. She didn't want to respond, wanted to just fade away into sleep where hopefully exhaustion would keep any nightmares at bay. She made herself answer. Not only was she unwilling to let Val have even that much power over her, Bucky needed to know.

"Val and Trevor are dead," she stated, her voice cold and remote. "I let Katya go. She was a victim, too." With that, she let herself tumble into sleep, secure in the certainty that Bucky would take care of her. She was safe. It was real. She was home.

Chapter Twenty-eight here

Taglist: (Tags are open)

@marvel-lucy @cheekygeek05 @lbouvet @lovely-geek @wantingtobekorra @diinofayce @ashesandfire @suz-123 @theresaskankinmyboot @ddysis @caplansteverogers @getbuckylucky @california-grown @capandbuck @buckybarnesappreciationsociety @magellan-88 @mizzzpink @rediscoveringdebbie84 @rnr1274

Strikethrough tags not working

#Bucky Barnes #bucky barnes x ofc #bucky x ofc #fanfiction #fanfic #angst #fluff #Steve Rogers #wanda maximoff #natasha romanoff #tony stark #clint barton #christine palmer #Sing For Me #pantswrites

100 notes · View notes

avengerdragoness · 7 years

Text

Trauma and Healing: Pride [Jason Todd x Reader]

A/n: Ch. 6! Sorry it took a while to get it out and I hope you guys like it! I loved writing it because I haven’t written for this series for a while. I hope you loves love it! Let me know what you loves think! Enjoy!

Italicized = Flashback

Warnings: Mentions of rape and assault, hearing whispers, mental illness, flashbacks to abuse

Tagging: @cherryignacio @queen-of-all-the-fandoms @keepjasontoddsafefromeveryone @aworldwideapart @just-a-girl-maybe @bat-lakota @sad-horchata @miraisnotavailable @comicbookworm @kazuha159

Ch. 1 - Ch. 2 - Ch. 3 - Ch. 4 - Ch. 5 - Ch. 7 - Ch. 8 - Ch. 9 - Alternate Ending

______

Ch. 6 Pride

After they left that night you stayed on the roof, finishing your cigarette while watching the city lights. Listening to the voices whispering in your ears. Blowing out a puff of smoke you took in the feeling of the warm breeze tickle your skin. Letting out a breath you snuffed out your cigarette. Thoughts of the day rushed through your memory, shopping with Kori, getting samples with Roy, the bookstore with Jason. Is this what it’s like to have a normal life? Hanging out with your friends and enjoying life? You’d never enjoyed your life until now.

Taking a deep breath you took in the scent of the city with a hint of the ocean which was just a few miles away. Sighing you relaxed against the ledge, thinking ‘everything’s going to be alright.’

Saying goodnight to the city lights you turned around and headed to the fire escape. Climbing down you slipped in your window, closing it behind you and flipping the lock. Looking into the empty apartment a familiar, haunting, feeling of loneliness appeared in your heart. You hadn’t felt this in months, not since you were saved by Jason, Roy, and Kori.

Walking in the kitchen you chuckled at what was at the counter. Jason had left a note reminding you to eat and that there are leftovers in the fridge. “Such a worrier” mumbling to yourself before grabbing some left over chinese from the fridge. As it warmed up in the microwave you grabbed your book you had gotten earlier with Jason and flipped it to the first page. Reading the opening line aloud: “It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.”

“Hmm, ‘want of a wife.’” Repeating before the microwave went off. Setting the book aside you took out the food and grabbed a fork. Leaning against the counter you held the book in front of your face with one hand while the other scooped food up on the fork and into your mouth. Finishing up you tossed the dishes in the sink and marked your page before heading into your room to get ready for bed. After changing and brushing your teeth you nestled into your bed sheets. Missing saying ‘goodnight’ to Roy, Kori, and Jason. Along with the way one of them would always check up on you before the lot went to bed. Who where you kidding? They’re all worriers.

Falling asleep you had a dreamless night. Feeling as if you had just fallen asleep minutes prior, but light was peeking through your window, telling you it was morning. Slipping from your bed you found the apartment still empty, checking each of their rooms to find them abandoned. When checking Jason’s room you found some papers pertaining to the mission they were on now. Flipping through the pages you skimmed the text and pictures, though looking deeper into the pictures, it brought back terrifying memories.

“Would you restrain the little bitch already?!” A man yelled, your lungs burned from screaming. You felt belts tighten around your wrists and legs, strapping you to a chair. Your screaming continued until one of the men slapped you across your cheek, silencing you long enough to put tape over your mouth.

Seconds later a metal door was heard opening and slamming shut. A large man with dark hair and cold grey eyes appeared in front of you. A smirk that showed his yellowing teeth played on his vile features. “Well aren’t you a pretty one? My names King and we’re going to have some fun today princess.”

Your stomach turned at the way he eyed you and you felt the need to be sick. He walked over to a table with a bunch of tools. His hands hovered over them. “Now you can listen and behave, or you can be in a whole world of pain.” Tears streamed down your face as you watched him. You nodded as if saying you would behave. Smiling he removed the tape from your mouth. Crouching in front of you, his hand resting on your thigh, making you flinch. “Please” you begged, “Please don’t hurt me.”

“Oh I’m not gonna hurt you, princess.” His other hand held your chin before moving down your chest. That made you fight your bonds yelling “No! Stop! Don’t touch me!” His smirk dropped at your fighting. “Hard way it is” he growled before grabbing a prod and plunging it into your side, it sending electricity through you.

The jolt brought you back to reality as you jumped away from the pictures of the place where they break the girls and boys they kidnap. Break them to do their bidding, to be bought and sold. Breathing felt like the hardest thing on the planet, hands running through your hair before your knees buckled under you. A sob escaping your throat, your hand covering your mouth to muffle it. You weren’t sure how long you were crumpled on the floor, time seemed to stand still as your demons and nightmares came flooding back.

Not snapping out of it until hearing the apartment door open. Quickly, you wiped your cheeks and eyes. Composing yourself before walking out of the room. “[F/n]!” Kori cheered before tackling you into a hug. “Welcome home” but your reply was flat and void of any emotion. Kori looked at you quizzically but you shook it off. “Did you guys take the place down?” Asking as you walked away from her.

“Um we were just surveilling last night. Tonight we’re taking it down.” Jason answered. You turned to Jason, “I’m going with you.”

They all were shocked at your outburst. “No, nope, not gonna happen.” Jason shook his head. “Why not?!”

“[F/n] you’re not ready” Roy interjected. Your blood began to boil, “I’m going and you can’t stop me!” Yelling at them all. “It’s too dangerous” Kori put a hand on your shoulder of which you swatted away. “And I can handle myself! I’m going!”

“You’re not” Jason shook his head with his arms crossed. “And who's gonna stop me? You? Going to put a bullet in me? I’m used to it.” At that you turned around and pushed the window open, in desperate need of a smoke you climbed the fire escape.

Kori, Roy, and Jason exchanged a look. Sighing Jason went after you, slipping out on the fire escape. When he met you on the roof you already had a lit cigarette between your lips. “[F/n]” calling as he met your side. Looking at you, he waited for answers.

Sighing you turned to him, not meeting his eyes. “I just… I just need to go Jason. I have too.”

“Why?”

“Why?” You scoffed, meeting his blue hues with your own [e/c] ones. “Because… Because those bastards raped and tortured me. I want to be the ones to beat them to a bloody pulp, to break them the way they broke me.” You growled through grit teeth. Your tone was dangerously low and your fists were clenched so hard your knuckles turned white. If Jason didn’t know better, he’d think he was looking at some complete other person.

Jason stared at you, recognizing that look, that anger, he knew this was important. “Fine, but one condition. You’re with me the entire time. You never leave my side, understand?”

You nodded and his shoulders relaxed. He leaned against the ledge, “Got anymore of those?” Chuckling you handed him the pack. Turning he faced you, the cigarette hanging loosely between his lips. Handing you the pack back you returned it to it’s hiding place on the roof, walking in front of him you held your lighter to his mouth. Your eyes flickered to his after lighting it, just now noticing how close you both were.

His eyes were trained on your lips before his flickered to yours. Both looking in each other’s eyes for a few seconds before he cleared his throat and leaned back against the ledge. You looked back out at the city, “I.. I didn’t mean to go off on you. I just, saw the pictures on your desk and recognized the place.” Shrugging before taking a drag of your cigarette.

“That’s where they break the people they kidnap?” He asked, looking over to you. You nodded in response, not having the courage to look over at him. “They did terrible things.” Your voice came out as a barely audible whisper, remembering the flashback you had. “I’m so---” He tried to say but you cut him off. “Please, don’t.” He nodded, before sighing. Snuffing out his cigarette, “If you’re coming we have to prep you.” You turned to him and followed his action of snuffing out the cigarette. “Let’s do this.”

Jason lead you back into the apartment. Roy and Kori were on the fence about allowing you on the mission but once you told them about what happens there, they understood. They briefed you on everything they had learned the prior night and Jason showed you the route you’d be accompanying him on. That lead all the way up until it was time to leave.

You were nervous, heart pounding while staring at your reflection in the mirror. The whispers ever so slightly in your ears. Your suit was black with [f/c] highlights. A domino mask covered your eyes and your hair was tied out of your face. A gun lay in a holster on your hip in case of emergency and a knife in the holster of your boot. You looked like a hero. Someone completely different. A new person entirely, someone stronger, more powerful, someone who could make a difference. For the first time in your life, you felt pride.

Nothing tore you out of your state or silenced the voices until a knock resounded on your door. “[F/n], you ready?” Kori asked as she came in the room. You nodded turning to her, “Do I fit the part?” She smiled and nodded, “[S/h/n] is going to be a force to be reckon with.” Kori’s encouraging words made the pride swell in your chest more.

Kori gestured for you to follow her and with a deep inhale and exhale you did, walking out into the living room where Jason and Roy saw you for the first time as [S/h/n]. “Whoa [F/n], lookin’ good.” Roy complemented soon after receiving a glare from Jason that went unnoticed by you. Looking at Roy you thanked him but your attention diverted to Jason, “What about you Jay? Good?” gesturing to yourself.

“Uhh” his mouth all of a sudden became dry and his two other teammates snickered. “Yeah, yeah you look great [F/n]. Really great.” You smiled at his words and nodded, that’s when Roy stood up. “Alright, now that we’re done fawning over [F/n]...Jason” He coughed, earning another glare from the marksman. “Let’s go kick some ass” Roy grinned and jumped out onto the fire escape. Kori close behind him.

Taking another calming deep breath, you went to follow. Though you were stopped by a hand on your shoulder, “Don’t worry, you can handle this.” Jason said as you turned to him. A small smile was quirked on his lips, and his eyes held a sort of adoration. “You’ll do great, just stay calm and focus. I’ll be right beside you.”

Grinning you gave him a confident nod, “I know, thanks Jay.”

“No problem, now let’s move out.” He gave your shoulder a light squeeze before heading out the window with you close on his trail. A smile adhered your features, they really believe in you.

159 notes · View notes

avengerdragoness · 7 years

Text

Trauma and Healing: Adjusting to Normal [Jason Todd x Reader]

A/n: Okay guys so here is chapter 5! I made it as a bit of a more fun chapter. Just the reader hanging out with the outlaws and making it a bit of a plot oriented chapter, not a lot of dialogue. Its a light chapter compared to the others I think. I’m kind of on the fence about it so if you guys liked it I’d love to know. Thanks loves, hope you enjoy. Love ya! <3

Warning: Mentions of mental illness

Tagging: @cherryignacio @queen-of-all-the-fandoms @crazyfangirl1810 @aworldwideapart @just-a-girl-maybe @bat-lakota @sad-horchata

Ch. 1 - Ch. 2 - Ch. 3 - Ch. 4 - Ch. 6 - Ch. 7 - Ch. 8 - Ch. 9 - Alternate Ending

________

Ch. 5: Adjusting to Normal

After that night you gained an immense trust in the trio. Jason, Roy, and Kori became your main support system. Always there if you needed anything. Having given you a spare room they had for storage, it only having any extra ammo, arrows, guns, the usual vigilante needs. It’s nice having that space, being able to have a place to be alone and calm down if your powers act up.

You still frequently hear the voices and have flashbacks from your PTSD. However, your powers were beginning to become completely under your control and you didn’t flinch like you used to when someone would comes near you. The only thing sticking with you from your past were the flashbacks. Having done a lot of training with Kori, of whom’s abilities were the closest to yours. Though there has had to be some self training due to the three not having the knowledge of how to help with those powers like the energy pulses you could let out. Batman had offered to assist in training you, but you told him the Outlaws were taking care of you and you didn’t want to burden him. He has a whole city and world to worry about, you’re just fine. Plus you trust them more than you trust Batman.

Training was hard. Jason and Roy had also taken up teaching you some hand to hand combat, and taught you to shoot both a gun and bow. Sometimes it would stress you the hell out, often leading to one of your and Jason’s regular talks on the roof while having a smoke. Jason really had taken a large part in helping your adjustment to this life. Especially with your education.

You had been taken before you could graduate, leading to just knowing the basics. Jason had taken to helping you improve with subjects like english, literature, some history. He’s quite intelligent. Often you both would sit on the couch, he’d watch over your shoulder as you read. Explaining what certain parts of a book meant or explaining a word you didn’t know.

Jason loves teaching you. Loving to just watch as you read, the way your eyebrows furrow when you’re trying to figure a portion of the plot out. He was really beginning to have strong feelings for you. There’s just a strength and adoration about you he can’t shake.

These feelings did not go unnoticed by Roy and Kori. They absolutely adore that Jason is smitten with you! They do not stop teasing him about it. Jason would end up swinging his arm behind the couch when reading with you, it resting behind your back. When they would see that they’d always just smirk at him, earning a glare from the marksman.

They would take every opportunity they had to tease Jason. It’s not often they get a chance too, Jason is known to be smooth when it comes to women. But there’s just something about him having a ‘crush’ that Roy and Kori find adorably hilarious.

Today they had taken a special interest in teasing them. Now that you had your powers under control they thought it would be safe to show you around Coast City, and Kori was excited to go shopping with you. Hell, she was just excited to have another girl around.

Arriving at the mall, Roy and Kori claimed to be starving and went off toward the food court. Leaving you and Jason on your own. He shook his head chuckling, “Well, I should’ve expected that. Come on there’s a store I want to show you.” Jason smiled while putting his hands in his pockets.

Following him through the large building he led you into a small book store. “This is where I get most of my books” his eyes skimmed over the many shelves. He witnessed as you left his side and began to run your hand over the books. For a while he just stood watching you, admiring the way you would delicately take a book of the shelf and look it over before putting it back. Occasionally checking out the first page.

Eventually shaking himself out of his enchantment before going around to look for a certain book he was searching for. Occasionally he would look over to you, making sure you were still there and okay. Finding his book he walked up behind you, noticing you reading the back of a book, recognizing it as Pride and Prejudice.

“Find something you like?” His low voice made you jump, realizing who it was you laughed and held your chest. “Gosh, you scared me Jay.” Smiling while looking back at the book, realizing the name you just used. “Oh gosh I’m sorry, I uh I didn’t mean to” panicking while looking back to him. Seeing a light pink dust his cheeks, “No, no. It’s okay, you can call me that. I mean Roy calls me ‘Jaybird’ so I don’t mind” he smiled reassuringly.

Grinning sheepishly at your feet, you nodded. Looking up at him you both started to laugh a bit. Though it was cut off by the sound of Roy yelling, “Are you two nerds done?” Rolling your eyes you both exited the store after paying, you taking a spot next to Kori as you walked. Not noticing Roy throw an arm around Jason and ruffle his hair teasingly. Then Jason pushing him off.

Kori led you into about every store. You needed this trip, having been living off hand-me-downs from her. She helped you pick out shorts, shirts, skirts, dresses, the whole nine yards. Her final stop being the one she had been waiting for. Excitedly she dragged you into Victoria Secret, which was indeed a rather needed trip.

Usually Jason wouldn’t even flinch, Kori had dragged him and Roy into this store nearly a hundred times. But with the thought of being in the store with you made his cheeks heat up and his heart quicken, fighting it back as to not tip off his teammates.

You and Kori walked and looked around the store, Jason and Roy idly following. Jason avidly avoiding eye contact with you. “See anything you like Jaybird, on a certain someone” Roy nudged him, wearing a shit eating grin. “Fuck you Harper” Jason glared at the archer before walking off to follow you and Kori once more. Roy chuckled running after him.

Catching up to you both. Continuing to look around, but you eventually convinced Kori you had what you needed and that you should go. She was hesitant but finally agreed, paying before heading out of the store. Jason breathed a sigh of relief. It was beginning to get dark so you all decided to make the walk back to the apartment.

You were a bit down about having to go back. Knowing they had a mission tonight, meaning you’d be on your own until the following day. Jason must’ve noticed this, “Hey, wanna have a smoke when we get back?” Meeting his blue hues you nodded before diverting your eyes back to the sidewalk in front of you.

Staying silent the rest of the way to the apartment. It honestly felt as if you were out during the entire walk. For some reason you barely remembered it, feeling like you zoned out the whole time. It was strange. It felt like something was trying to push your consciousness out and replace it with something else. It freaked you out a bit but you shook it off when reaching the apartments.

The others noticed it too but didn’t bring it up, figuring you were just thinking about something. Jason thought maybe he’d talk to you about it when you got back. And he did, it was the first thing he brought up when you both lit your cigarettes.

“You were quiet on the way home. Is something wrong?” He asked, letting out the smoke. “Just tired is all” you lied with a shrug. “It didn’t seem like you were tired. [F/n] I’m serious, is something wrong?” His expression showing one of worry.

“Jason, I’m fine really. I was, am, just tired, and a bit overwhelmed from all the people. I’ll be fine after some sleep. I might be a little lonely tonight after having you three around but I’ll be okay.” Smiling a reassuring smile at him. His shoulders fell as he sighed, “Okay, but if you need anything we’re just a call away. It’s your first time on your own since everything so, if you want one of us to stay.” You sent a look that said ‘I’ll be fine’ and he raised his hands in defeat. “Alright Alright” Saying before taking another drag. You shook your head smiling, flattered by his worry.

“Hey guys! We gotta go!” You could hear Roy yell from the fire escape. Both turning at the same time to see him poking his head up. “You better go, I’m going to finish this” holding your cigarette up. “Alright, see you tomorrow. We’ll keep you updated.” Jason smiled before putting out his cigarette and jogging over to Roy. Leaving you to lean against the ledge, taking another drag of your cigarette.

Standing there you thought of what happened earlier. ‘What was all that zoning about? That was a first.’ Thinking to yourself. Bringing the cigarette to your lips again. ‘It’s probably nothing.’

191 notes · View notes