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#n then i had to do shit so now i feel meh still idk . its just Awful.
29121996 · 3 months
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#been depressed all day lmao#i woke up at like 10am and reLises how awful i felt so i was in and out of sleep until lile 3#n then i had to do shit so now i feel meh still idk . its just Awful.#thr weather + recent events are the main cause . but i have a feeling i am pickinh up on someone elses energy#bc i braid my haor and it lessens a little (i use a braid as a cuttibg point so i dont pick up on ppls energy. it works)#esp since . my hair IS uh . rlly absorbent. ill wash my hair n can usually go 3 days without washing it#if i brush n braid . but if i dont do that#and have a RLLY bad day where im interractibg w sm ppl esp if theure all (or majority) in bad m99ds#ill need to rewash my haor again within 24hra#n i always feel better after wsshing my haor and id love to wash it daily but . hair dye is finicky as it is#anyway im fine its fine . id like . to feel better :( i dont like being like this at all but itll pass#i just gotta . Keep Fighting it as best as i can . whicb isnt easy but its not as hard as it used to be#im just . i showered and i plan to do a bit of washing u0 abd washing once my dad goes to work .#n then i gotta buy tobacco at some point#side note not having a job has me in a rlly weird . mental state. time kinda just flows tgth idk what day of the week it is half the time#this was needed im ngl . bc i am . dealign with stuff (begrudgingly) n . im not rlly broke bc i seem to b getting money from#a few diff sources but not a lot . just enough to vover the vasics of what i need
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salt-volk · 2 years
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am i the only one whos still interested? ive been here since alpha so maybe is just sunk cost fallacy but i dont even feel impatient at all lmfao. i never get fed up or bored or angry with dv. its just a casual thing to check up on every once in a while n see how its doing. whenever there are set backs or delays its understandable with the small team n mismanaged code shit especialy. most other issues are easily explainable to me or make sense as well like theres a perfectly logical reason for most content delays. even the bad design choices while i disagree with them i can see where they come fom or the logic of how they were suppose to work.
plus most of em are getting reforms down the road if dv last that long. idk when something new happens my reaction is usually "meh, yeah, sure *shrug*" i feel like if they get enough funds n staff n a good direction going then dv still is really good in concept n has so much potential that i dont wanna just walk away unless its for super major problem. id feel silly selling all my stuff for fr only years from now to come back n wish i had it. i guess i just dont attach much emotional weight to dv n am more around out of curiosity so maybe thas the difference. i buy turnip monthly but only a small amount so maybe itd be different too if i was spending thousands. i dunno.
i just feel awkward sometimes like everyone else is furious n all leaving dv n talking about the site dying n so much catastrophic n get really mad over delayed events or customs then im here chilling. i wonder if i am literally the only person left who doesnt want dv to die. also not judging ppl who do get emotional about it all n feel angry thats valid feelings. im not talking down to yall more just wondering out of curiosity how many people actually still care. n the difference between those who do n dont. is it a financail investment thing? or just different expectations? maybe all pet game ive been on just suck in comparison so dvs management doesnt seem as bad to me? something else? 
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loved2 · 2 years
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Today marks 6 months since i got robbed of literally everything i had. My phones, laptop, all of the jewelry i inherited from my mom & other dead relatives, money, my documents, well mostly everything lol. Its also a pisces full moon. During the last pisces moon (when it happened) i felt as if i was losing everything i loved. I had been very emotional about letting go of my attachment to 2 of my girlfriends who i was no longer talking to, i missed my mom terribly (also marked 3 years since her passing), i was unhappy at home, wasn’t talking to anyone, struggling to find my purpose, wanted to quit my corporate job, then my bestie moved to another continent. The day she left i told her i felt as if everything in my life was ending/being taken away from me. 2 days later i got robbed at gunpoint lmao. How sway. Tbh i still don’t know how to feel about it. For the most part i’m okay i guess. I put it behind me really fast like i do with most things. I try to feel it as much as i can then i move on to be there for the ones who don’t deal with stuff like this so easily. Which i probably shouldn’t have done in this case. Idk. I’m not really caught up in it and i don’t think about it often. After that my entire life changed once again. I always thought it was a funny full circle moment since my mother passed 3 years prior in the same period. And it was the exact same feeling. Meh idk. I’m so used to feeling like this at this point i don’t really mind when i end up in these situations. It’s what most people know me for. “Resilience”. Whatever thats supposed to mean. It’s just saturn’s strong presence in my life i guess lol. I have this weird relationship with these constant difficulties. On one hand they make me who i am. And i’m very proud of who i am at this point despite all thats happened. I’m very stoic and okay with anything that comes. I welcome it even. Its nothing new to me. I like the balance i guess. You need the dark for the light. Even if most days aren’t so light but the darks are very… dark. On the other hand i wonder if this will continue to be a constant theme in my life. This year i’ve basically lost everything again but now i can say i’ve truly built something beautiful for myself. I hope it’ll last. I know it will. I made it. I guess you find yourself when you feel most lost. I hope you guys don’t have to go through it in this way lol. But i’ll take it. I know myself now. I know i have a lot to swallow. I’ve made peace with it and found some enjoyment in the process of it even. I always come out better than before. Eventhough the before is soul shattering and heart wrecking (or wrenching?… idk). Can’t escape the 8th house cycle lmao. Death is the most prevalent thing in my life. Anyway i love reflecting on moon cycles especially ones like these. They mean so much to me. This one is very close to my heart and also caused me a lot of pain. But i still adore it. It has caused me to be where i’m at now. It has caused deep transformation, death & rebirth. I finally feel (mostly) secure. I know where i’m headed. I feel like i truly know myself now. Hoping this will continue to be like this for a while. I just need a break. No disruptions anymore for atleast this year please universe. I am tired. N e ways its been nice to look back. Like i always do bc i can’t escape the past. You know my flowers are pretty bc i’ve taken care of them everyday even through the storms. Life is still beautiful eventhrough all of the storms honeys it will repay you in ways you’d never thought possible. Someday i will show you some roses that i grew effortlessly. That day is not today 🐚 P.S. one day i will write entire post about this days chart. Lets just say i’m a cap rising and at the time it was happening cap was on the ascendant. Better… mars was hitting my 2nd house and mars is my most malefic planet. Like you can’t make this shit up lmao.
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alreadyblondenow · 3 years
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Sweet | Jung Jaehyun
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❤︎ Jaehyun x female!reader ❤︎ Fluff? Smut, Smut, Smut, Smut, Tiny bit of angst, College AU, Established relationship ❤︎ 2/4 for LOVE MONTH SERIES: Boys Don’t Cry One is a big number | You and your words | Sweet | He loves me, he loves me not |
Summary: Jaehyun has always been in love with you but he thinks so highly of you that he never tried pursuing his feelings for you. All throughout your college years, Jaehyun endured every heartbreak secretly whenever you have a new boyfriend and can only love you secretly in his own ways. Wild. College years was wild and its all because of Jaehyun. After college, you and Jaehyun parted ways but life will reunite you again in the most shocking way. Jaehyun’s wedding.  
Word count: 13,707k
Warnings: Sex, sex, sex, and loads of sex, unprotected sex, loss of virginity, making of sex tape (with consent), making of amateur porn? (with consent), cam boys and cam girl?? idk what to call that but they fuck live, mentions of alcohol, period fingering, mentions of tampon, dry humping, oral sex female receiving, mentions of blowjob, slight blowjob scene,  mentions of other idols, swearing, college students who just wanna have fun haha, kissing and touching, fingering, and slight nipple play, mentions of having sex with Johnny. AH SLIGHT BREAK UP SEX! 
A/N: PURE FICTION. PURE FICTION. PURE FICTION. okay, I know I said that this will be out on Jaehyun’s birthday but meh whatever I’m posting it and will post something else for hearts day. hehe. I hope you guys love this even though im just experimenting and trying to write longer fics, and seriously I wanted to write back to back smut with different feels so I guess im crossing that out of my bucket list. Also this is proof read once only so sorry. You may not be happy with the ending but I’m sure as hell happy with it so sorry. ​
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Humans are prone to fall in love with the wrong people and the only thing you can do about it is to forgive yourself and move on. No matter how much history you had, no matter how many special moments or intimate ones you shared… if you know that he or she is not the right person for you then, you know.
Like this moment right now. For exactly ten minutes, you will realize why you and a certain someone never worked out.
“Hey, boss you have a 10 am meeting. Planning for everything” Your assistant says as you double-check your schedule to see the name of the client she’s talking about. “That’s the bride though, 0% progress for the wedding” she added.
“Yikes” you murmur and ready your stuff, “let’s fix that and give her a beautiful wedding. I need you to take down everything she says while I talk to her” you straighten your clothes and fix yourself before you face the client.
The moment you enter the room, the bride greets you with a big smile like she’s saying ‘thank you for saving me and my wedding’ even though you literally haven't done anything yet. Oh, you love seeing those hopeful eyes in every bride. “I’m just waiting for my fiancé, he’s the one who recommends coming here and I have a great feeling that I will have a beautiful wedding because of you”
“And my team,” you added and finished her sentence, “I want to introduce you to my assistant, she will be taking care of every request you say during our discussion later”
“And I want to introduce you to my fiancé, Jaehyun,” she said with a big smile and walked towards his fiancé.
And just like that your ordinary day at the office became extraordinary. Because nothing is normal about Jung Jaehyun, nothing is normal about those dimpled smile that automatically makes your heart skip a beat.
“Baby, this is the wedding organizer” her smile has no hint of mock, she’s not even proud that she has a very handsome fiancé and obviously she doesn’t know who you are. She’s just happy that she’s marrying Jaehyun. That’s all. And in those eyes, you see that Jaehyun is in the right hands.
“Mhmm. Me, Johnny, and Ms. Y/n right here are dorm mates. So you’re talking to the best wedding organizer,” you snorted at what Jaehyun said.
“Thank you for that introduction Jung, now let’s talk about your wedding”
And so, you worked your magic to them the whole morning. Explaining things, showing stuff, asking them what they want. From the wedding reception, wedding dress appointments, and picking of cakes… she has no idea of what she wants. Good thing you do know what you’re doing and you planned everything smoothly after a few hours. And for hours and hours, you watched them smile at each other, lowkey flirted in front of you but you didn’t feel any jealousy, hurt, or regret.
When the exhausting meeting was finally done and finally you’re alone at your office, a soft knock brought you back to reality and a familiar voice was behind it. “Can I come in?” Jaehyun asks.
“Of course, it’s open” you watch him enter your office like he’s some kind of a ghost and made the room cold in an instant.
“I just want to say thank you for helping us out- thank goodness the world is small… Literally, the wedding will be a mess”
“Just doing my job Jae,” you smiled sweetly to him, “your fiancé is lovely-“
“I did love you Y/n. And I’m sorry for hurting you like that, I told you, you deserve better. I’m glad we both found our happiness” he flashed that dimpled smile again and thanked you one last time.
The little reunion ended with small smiles, nods here and there, and in just a few seconds Jaehyun is out from your office and quickly replaced by your assistant to give you your afternoon coffee. Awkward and curious, she placed the coffee in front of you. Obviously, she wanted to know your past with the groom. And when she finally dropped the question, you remembered everything, moments crashing and drowning you right this instance.
Eight years ago  
“Are you even trying, you’re no fun!”  
Your best friend shouts at you from the other side of the table, waiting for you to throw the ball, waiting for you to miss. It was just beer pong but you don’t know why the game was so fucking frustrating and no matter how hard you concentrate you can’t score. Maybe it’s because you’re all alone and you’re competing against your best friend and her boyfriend. Fuck that you thought, you don’t need a man.
“Fuck” you murmur and miss again. You watch your best friend’s boyfriend score another one and of course, you have to drink again. But just when you’re about to get the ball from drink, a stranger’s hand was quick to get the cup, remove the ball and drink the alcohol.
“Mind if I join and help you win?” He flashed you a dimpled smile that immediately made you smile back at him. You take back what you said earlier, maybe you do need someone.
“Come on! Let him in, maybe he’s a better competition” your best friend shouts once again. Oh, you’re very happy that you’re not going to the same college.
As you welcome the handsome stranger and gave him the honor of throwing the ball, you warned him first that your opponents can be very annoying but he doesn't seem to care and just let out a small laugh. Cocky you thought, but confidence looks sexy on him.
And finally. Fucking finally, your best friend had a taste of her own medicine.
“I’m Jaehyun by the way,” he was lowkey flirting with you and you’re not stupid to not notice. “Here, I’ll teach you how to throw” he put the ball in your palm and stood behind you, hands on your waist to keep you steady, arms raised together, and you swear his lips were so near at your nape that you got shivers whenever he talks. “let the ball bounce near a cup and it will land on one” he added. But how can you score if he’s making it hard for you? You did it anyways, threw the ball near a cup and he was right. It landed on the cup you wish to aim and finally, you’re starting to have fun.
The game went on and you and Jaehyun flirted, talked, and exchange deep glances the entire game but winning it at the same time. His one hand is always around your waist even if it's not necessary whenever he’s the one throwing the ball, and whenever the other team scores, he’s the one drinking the alcoholic beverage for you.
At the end of the game, you and Jaehyun won the golden prize which is very awkward when he showed it to you.
“All that frustration and competition for a condom?” you can’t believe that the prize is a single condom.
“We don’t have to use it, it can just be our trophy you know” he let out a small laugh and put the condom in his pocket, and changed the subject.
As the night went deeper, you and Jaehyun had your own little world in that corner at the kitchen with a beer in your hand while you talk about your interest from music to movies. It was pretty crowded but no one seems to care especially Jaehyun because he loves how incredibly close he is to you right now. Until a drunk person bumped Jaehyun and he accidentally spilled his beer on your blouse. Seems like the universe is making a way for you two to eventually hook up and use the condom.
“Shit-shit!” Jaehyun was panicking at the moment and he doesn’t know what to do other than remove his hoodie and cover you with it before anyone sees your see-through blouse and took you somewhere less crowded to help you clean up the mess he put you through.
In a stranger's room upstairs, he locked the door to let you change while he looks for something to dry your clothes with. Luckily, he saw a hairdryer and quickly plugged it in beside the bed and started drying your shirt.
You were conscious for some time, clinging to a stranger's blanket with nothing but your pants underneath it. You watch Jaehyun dry your bra, checking it from time to time if it's ready to go. And when it's finally dry, he hands it to you with an awkward smile but still managed to make your heart beat fast. “I’m really sorry,” he started, a quickly avoided his gaze from you again as you turn your back from him, put down the blanket, and wear your bra like there's no one with you.
“It was an accident, don’t beat yourself up,” you said, there’s no way he’s going to let this go you’re sure of it, so with all your bravery, you came closer to him while he's busy drying your blouse and kissed him on the cheek. “You've been saving me the whole night. You saved me from boredom and from losing and now, you're drying my clothes. So sweet of you,” you added and looked at him sweetly, resting your forehead on his and making the moment even more intense by putting down the blanket in front of him. Allowing him to see you with only wearing your bra and pants, inviting him to make this moment unforgettable for the two of you.
Of course, he's not stupid and did exactly what you had in mind. In one swift moved his lips are on your lips, hands on your shoulders to put your bra straps down, and you unclasped your bra and threw it on the floor before you started to kiss him more intensely.
Jaehyun kissed you exactly how you wanted to be kissed, with want and with lust. His breath and the sound of wet kisses sounded perfect as it surrounds the room. You felt him bite your neck then feel him smile against your skin when his intentions of turning you on even more is working.
Kisses became deeper, playful, and wet when he started to go down to your chest and started kissing the valley between your boobs. His big hands knead your right boob, while his left hand is placed on your waist. Oh when his tongue brushed on your nipple for the first time, you rolled your head back and arched your back as if you wanted him to do more and play more with your boobs.
And just like that the cold night became warm and you feel it getting warmer and warmer by every second and it’s all because of Jaehyun.
He flashed a dimpled smile at you when he saw that you're more than liking what he's doing to you and stopped to open the lampshade. The room was immediately softly illuminated which you thought is romantic even though everything that’s happening right now is totally unplanned.
"Your boobs have spit all over, wait let me get that for you" you were just about to tell him that it's fine but he was quick to remove his shirt and reveal his godlike body right before your eyes. “If you just want to kiss and touch the whole night, I’m fine with that but I am very horny right now that I got you covered with spit,” he said while wiping his spit from your boobs and chest using his shirt.  
If you’re perfectly honest, you’re nervous about what can happen in the next few minutes. But there’s no way in hell that you’re going to let this pass, it’s not every day a handsome man is eager to fuck you. You just have to suck it up, not tell him that you’re a virgin, perform and look like you know what you’re doing. "No, it's fine I'm horny too" and you proved it by kissing him again, cupping his face with both of your hands, and with all your strength you roll on top of him. "Wait here," you said as you push him back on the mattress when he tried to get a hold of you.
You went down from the bed to remove your pants and underwear, he did the same as quickly as he can and you think he's cute for being excited to fuck. You crawled in between his legs, sat nicely on top of him but the impatient guy sat up and met your lips again. One hand supporting his weight, one hand on your waist. "You're so fucking beautiful I'm having a hard time to breath for the last few minutes" he whispers so sexily while kissing your jaw, leaving his mark to remind you the next day about tonight.
For a minute, you felt shy because you've never been naked with someone in bed. But the way Jaehyun kisses you makes you trust him, the way he touches your body with care make you want him more. And again, those fucking lips just made you roll your hips against his hardening cock and it made you both moaned so good that he asked you to do it again. And so you did.
Letting his cock slide in between your folds is a new feeling for you. Not even grinding on your vibrator will give you such an amazing feeling. Grinding on Jaehyun's cock while his mouth plays with your boobs felt fucking good that your grip on his locks tightens but he doesn't care. But for someone untouched like you, you made sure you never forget the feeling whenever his tongue swirls while you roll your hips, how he bites your nipples whenever he feels you're slowing down, and the vibrations that share with you whenever he grunts a little too loud and you feel it all over your body.
Soon Jaehyun switched places with you, putting you underneath him to catch his breath and stop himself from cumming. He reached for your hand and hold it dearly, kissing your knuckles and the back of your hand. “Forgive me if I become rough tonight, I can promise an aftercare don’t worry,” he says and gave you one last kiss before he pulls away and gets the condom from the pocket of his discarded pants. Putting the protection in front of you to assure you, thank goodness to that condom you thought.
As soon as he crawls back in between your legs again, his hand moved around your body like he’s telling you he owns you, smiling in between kisses whenever he accidentally tickles you. Hands slipping in between your thighs and fingers brushed automatically on your very wet slit. You jolt because of the new feeling but careful not to show Jaehyun that this is your first time being finger fucked. So you closed your eyes to avoid his gaze but Jaehyun gave your ass a tight squeeze and put his thumb on your wet slit, admiring how wet he made you already which made you open your eyes again and moan his name deliciously.
“I like the sound of that,” he says, kissing your neck and down Jaehyun goes, kissing your body until he reaches your pussy to give you few licks before he fucks you.
The way he licked your wet folds made your toes curl and your legs spread even wider. Pushing his head away, crushing his head with your legs then spreading it wide again, and begged him but you’re not sure what for.  
“Jae- you eat pussy like a pro” or maybe you’re just telling that because it’s your first time being eaten out. That even the way he puts the right amount of force to stop your legs from closing whenever he flicks his tongue is perfect. And when he saw you relaxing and can handle the pleasure already, his hands cupped both of your boobs and pinched your nipples, making you moan his name loudly “Jae!-“ and arch your back as a sign that you’re almost there, and if he doesn’t stop soon you might cum now.
But of course, Jaehyun didn’t stop and made you cum using his tongue for the first time tonight. Your legs felt like jelly and you can even feel that your pussy is still sensitive. “Thought it’s going to be just a few licks?” you said weakly, wiping your pussy juices from his chin and planting a soft kiss on his lips as a thank you, but he doesn’t know that.
“Changed my mind, you taste good. I might even go for another round-“
And right before he goes down on you again, you stopped him and told him you’re still sensitive. Which thankfully he listened and kissed you instead of licking you. And when you’re finally good to go again, he holds you by your ankles, kiss your neck and touch your body for a few seconds before he finally lines his cock on your very wet slit. Sliding it up and down, teasing you and making you horny and even more aroused.  
When he finally pushed his cock in your hole, Jaehyun thought his dick will slide in smoothly because, one, he thought you’re not a virgin anymore and two, you’re dripping on the sheets but still he’s having a hard time pushing in. Then he saw your face, contorting like you’re in pain rather than seeing you furrow your brows, part your lips, and make beautiful sounds.
For you, it fucking hurts and you would rather suck it up than tell him you’re still a virgin and ruin the mood. But the man on top of you is not stupid and surprisingly he pulled out slowly and came closer to your body once again to face you, “I’m about to be your first time, am I right? You’re so tight and I’ve never encountered a hole like that ever since my first fuck”
Busted you thought. You thought of any more ways to get out of this situation but he looks like he’s okay with it. “Are you mad?” you asked shyly and avoiding his stare.
“No” he admitted, “Actually I’m turned on. But I’ll go slow and sorry if I hurt you at first. Want to try again?”
You nod oh eagerly to his question and finally, you can breathe and enjoy the moment. He gave you a few kisses before he continues and went back to lining his cock, he made you wrap your arms around his neck and asked you to spread your legs even wider. And when he pushed in again, there’s that good stretch you’ve been hearing so much about. The feeling of Jaehyun’s cock go slowly inside you was incredibly good even though he’s not fucking you raw right now.
“The condom is thin-“ he grunts and moaned a few times, “you’re so tight. And fuck you look hot. Does it feel good now?” he whispers and started to roll his hips once which made you both moan and let out sharp gasps.
He fucks you slow and deep until the sting from the stretch is replaced by pleasure. You rake his body with your nails, holding him on his nape, and grab a fistful of hair whenever he tries to give you a powerful thrust which you loved so you asked for more.
He sat on his knees and pull away from your body then immediately gave you a hard thrust, watching your boobs bounce with lidded eyes, kneading them whenever he wants to. In a matter of few minutes, his thrust became animalistic that your head is dangling on the edge of the bed, moaning and gasping sharply but the man above you kept on fucking you hard, savoring the condom and trying not to cum so soon. So whenever he’s on edge, he pulls out immediately and spreads kisses around your body, sucking your boobs until your nipples are swollen, playing with your slit until you’re cumming for the third time tonight using his fingers.
“Not yet, I want more time with you,” he says while kissing your neck and reaching for your hand to intertwine it with his.
“Jaehyun, I can’t take it anymore. Please cum already” you begged with ragged breaths.
“Fine, fine. Since you asked nicely, but promise me to give me your number after we fuck”
“I will if you make me cum using your dick” he was amused by your answer and effortlessly flipped you on your stomach and asked you to put your ass in the air. He kissed your shoulders first, making you feel safe before the grand finale. Hands on your ass while he slowly thrust in again and fuck, he does make your knees weak.
“You were just a virgin a few minutes ago, but now you’re begging huh, okay” he says before he gave you a hard thrust that made you land flat on your stomach but he was quick to lift your hips again and give you another hard thrust.
Thrust after thrust you feel the impact in your body and for sure your body will be sore the next day. You call his name over and over again but you’re not sure what you’re begging for because he is fucking you good. Hard but good. And when finally Jaehyun is on edge for the nth time tonight, he did not pull out and kept fucking you but this time he doubled his pace that you can only hear skin slapping and his beautiful moans.
“Fuck Jaehyun- I’m cumming again, don’t you dare fucking stop” you grip the sheets and arch your back more, taking every thrust Jaehyun gives you and shut your eyes close as you let go and cum for the fourth time tonight.
Thrust
Thrust
Thrust
He gave you three powerful thrusts before you both flop on the mattress and catch your breath together. Your bodies were warm and sweaty, the room smelled like sex but no one cares. You feel bad to the owner of this bed.
While you catch your breath and calm yourself down, Jaehyun busies himself with discarding the condom and looking for something to cover your exposed body before he makes a wrong decision like asking you for round two.
“Thanks” you said weakly when he covered you with the blanket.
“I hope you’re okay with me being your first” he says and lies beside you again, keeping you close to him.
“I’m more than okay with it” you kissed him on the lips like you’re keeping a souvenir, “I hate to ruin this moment that we shared but, we have to go back to the party” you watch him shook his head no and pretended to be asleep, “Mhmm. Come on, I’ll help you get dressed” you added.
To be perfectly honest Jaehyun wanted to stay with you for a few more minutes, he wanted to know more about you, he wanted to hold your hand just a little bit longer. “Stay with me” he asks of you, but you refused with a heavy heart. You exchanged cellphone numbers of course, but when you two got back to the party, hand in hand and back to flirting with each other, your friends are quick to get a hold of you. and the next thing you know you’re inside your friend’s car, on your way home and you couldn’t stop thinking about him.
On the next day, you woke up very sore and you couldn’t walk properly but the thought of what happened last night just makes you smile and all giggly. You waited for his text the whole day, checking your phone from time to time and hoping that whenever it beeps, Jaehyun’s name is on the screen but no.
You thought that waiting for him for a day is normal, maybe he got hungover and slept the whole day. But after a few days later, still you got no texts from him and that part is not normal anymore. You started to think that you’re just a one-time thing for him and you feel stupid for even thinking that Jaehyun can and eventually pursue you.
Everything that happened that night, should be forgotten and you should enjoy the remaining months of your summer before you finally move in to your college dorm. On top of that, you deleted his number and tried to forget the man who made you feel good in bed for the first time.
Now that you’re weeks away from officially being a college student, you decided to settle in your college dorm as early as now so you can have more time to know your dorm mates. Little did you know, that the world is incredibly small and you will end up being dorm mates with Jaehyun alongside his best friend Johnny who welcomed you with a big bear hug like you’ve known each other for years.
It’s not that you weren’t happy to see him when he opened the door for you, it’s just that... it was such an awkward moment because you’ve seen each other naked and... he didn’t call you back. Nonetheless, you pretended to know each other for the first time today, shake his hand and give him a hug. Which you didn’t want to end so soon.
“Hey, uhm… glad to see you settle in” he started and closed your door so Johnny would not hear whatever conversation you’re about to have.
“Yeah, thank you for welcoming me warmly. Johnny is sweet by the way” you said awkwardly while folding your clothes and putting them in your cabinet.
“Uh, about that. Uhm, can you uh-“
“Not tell him that something happened between us?” he nods slowly at what you said, “sure” you wanted to scoff so bad and throw a fit at him, but you didn’t want to ruin your move in day and just shrugged it off.
Starting that day, you tried your best not to be awkward with Jaehyun and really try your best to forget about the sex. The sex that felt good, the sex that can make your toes curl by just merely thinking about it. Although you had a hard time because whenever you touch yourself at night, you remember everything that happened between you two and you end up fantasizing about fucking Jaehyun again. But now that you’re living with him and you see him every day, it's not just about the sex now.
During the summer you were convinced that Jaehyun is a guy who had sex with you and left you hanging. But seeing him every day and knowing him even more by living together, the truth about Jaehyun slapped you so hard that you even liked him even more now. He is a warm person, whose heart is full of care and compassion, or maybe even more than that.
Eventually, you did forget about the sex and your little crush on Jaehyun. Thank goodness, you thought. You couldn’t have done it without a few hookups during your freshman year. And when everything is all nice and pleasant again between you and Jaehyun, you became good friends and started to look after each other.
You were like family in that small dorm during your starting years together. The two giant knows how to cook so a good meal is never a problem, you have study sessions whenever it’s needed and whenever someone is going through something, you were there for each other.
It was great and comforting because you do everything together. But not until Jaehyun realized that he’s not immune to your charms anymore and now he’s falling for you. Hard.
Over the years of living together, Jaehyun saw your true colors. Now he knows you’re more than just a hookup. You were a gem that he found in a stranger’s party and he was such a fool for not calling you back during the summer. It’s true what they say that regrets are always at the end. Now he can only admire you and love you in ways where he can’t ruin this amazing friendship that you have.
Jaehyun endured every heartbreak whenever he sees you with another man or hearing you moan from the other side of the room whenever you and your boyfriend have sex. And when that jerk broke your heart, his broke two times than yours because he can’t do anything to ease your pain, make you realize your true worth and help you move on.
“You don’t need that guy,” Jaehyun says as he pulls you for a hug while Johnny massages your toes. The two giants were a good support system, not to mention they really want to beat your ex’s butt but you told them ‘thanks but, no don’t do that’. And while you’re crying in Jaehyun’s arms, staining his hoodie with your tears, he promised to himself that he will never hurt you or make you cry.
Now that he’s frustrated and mad at himself because he can’t help you, he decided to help himself instead. He watched on the sides and used different girls to make him forget about you, which is hardly impossible by now because even the little things you do make him crazy. Like whenever you ask him to eat dinner with you when Johnny is out for work, or whenever you take care of him when he goes home batshit drunk and can’t even stand up straight.
For Jaehyun, his college years were all about yearning. Yearning for you, your attention, your touch, and your love. But even though you’re now single and have already moved on from your ex, he still can’t confess his feelings for you because he believes that you deserve someone better than him. Jaehyun knew he hurt you already, and he will not forgive himself if he does it again.  
Senior year
In a middle of a busy cafeteria, you, Johnny, and Jaehyun are thinking of ways how to earn money for your dorm rent. This semester made you guys bring out a lot of cash because of books and some of your rent money was needed to sacrifice for education. But now that you guys are a month late with your rent, you have no idea where to get cash knowing all too well that your parents won’t chip in.
“I could sell some of my clothes” Jaehyun suggested while drinking his coffee.
“Dude your clothes are all black, no one would ever buy those” Johnny bites back just to annoy his friend. “Though girls will buy it because it’s from you-“
“Stop it with your nonsense John”
“Or! You can sell some of your nudes, I already know a lot of buyers” Johnny added with an annoying smile.
“Or you two can just fuck each other because you’re the hottest guys on campus but your asses are broke” you tease them further but you have no idea that you just gave out the solution to all your problems. “What?” you asked them as they both smile at you, shy for no reason, and eyeing each other like they’re having a secret conversation using their eyes.
Johnny clears his throat before he starts, “You just suggested to make porn… and porn is good money. A few students do it these days” he clears his throat again before he continues, “We know because we watch porn-“
“Okay, I don’t need to know that part. What are you saying? Are you suggesting we make porn?” you said, eyes big as you look at them.  
“You suggested it. Not us. But yeah. It’s good money Y/n” Johnny once again explained.
“Well, okay. I’ll hold the camera while you two fuck. How do we do this?” you avoid their eyes as your body heats the more you talk.
“Nuh-uh, I’m not fucking Johnny” Jaehyun announces.
“Nope. Me too I’m not fucking Jaehyun, you choose Y/n. No hard feelings, but consider the size” he winks but you know that he’s just joking.
Good thing the awkward conversation was cut when your alarm went off and you have to go to your next class. You gather your stuff and told them to think of better ways to earn money because there’s no way you’re having sex with any of them. Especially not with Jaehyun.
The idea of making money through porn crosses your mind every five minutes and you can’t concentrate with your class. Plus, your landlord kept on sending messages reminding you that in three days, you’re going to be two months late with the rent. But still, whenever you imagine having sex with any of them, it gives you great goosebumps and you can’t handle the awkwardness anymore.
After your class, you were spacing out and still weighing things over regarding the porn making, and unexpectedly, one of your friends brought up ‘amateur porn’ and you’ve never been so nervous in your life. She was talking about how she and her boyfriend went live for a good twenty minutes and they made loads of cash, “and guess what, it’s all for fun! We were really just fooling around but apparently, people do love those kinds of stuff and they pay good money”
Your mouth almost fell when she mentioned the cash they earned for only twenty minutes. And in that twenty minutes, you can cover one month's rent pay already. You just have to cum in front of thousands of people. So with a mind blinded by the possibility of earning too much cash, you said yes to the idea of making porn. The only question is, with whom?
Johnny and Jaehyun stood in front of you as they wait for your answer after telling them what your friend told you about making porn. Of course you picked Jaehyun. Not because you miss him, and not because you have history, but because you don’t want to be awkward with Johnny. While Jaehyun on the other hand is feeling proud and hopeful behind that poker face of his, he thought that you chose him because you already know what’s in store for you if you fuck with him again and of course he thought that maybe you miss him.
“Johnny doesn’t really need to hold the camera for us right? We can just place it, and secure it somewhere” you added and watch Jaehyun agree without looking at you.
“You two have the place tomorrow night then. M-make sure you raise the quota and cover three months of payment... for safety” Johnny says to Jaehyun and you with a smile that says, ‘thank goodness I didn’t have to watch you both fuck’.
Before you sleep tonight, unexpectedly Jaehyun paid you a visit. And there’s that nervous feeling again, you feel like you’re back in your freshman days when you don’t know what to do whenever you see Jaehyun and you just have to pretend that nothing is bothering you.
Breathing in and out, you opened the door quickly and went back to your bed and under the covers to cover your exposed legs. Little did you know that Jaehyun already saw that you’re not wearing anything besides your lacy panties and an oversized shirt.
“Your ears are red,” you teased him.
“Well next time you should wear pajamas instead of your underwear to sleep” he winked and placed the mask that you’re going to be using tomorrow and sat on the edge of your bed.  
“What are you? A stranger? You’re so far, come here” you invited him under your sheets and lie in bed face to face like nothings bothering you two. You put your hand above his head and feel his soft locks, careful not to grip so hard and hurt the man you used to have feelings for.
This is why Jaehyun can’t move on from you. You always make him feel like he’s your favorite person in the world.
“Are you going to leave me hanging again after we have sex tomorrow?” You confronted him.
“That’s impossible now, we live together” he giggles and catches your hand so he could hold it.
“Just promise me after the sex tomorrow we’ll still be friends” you felt his grip loosen up like he became hopeless like he didn’t like what you just said.
“I was actually going to say that I want us to try again. Get things right this time”
And in that very moment, your world stopped and your body feels hot, suddenly you’re sweating and your heart is beating faster. To be honest you don’t know what to say.
Then,
“Kidding. I’m kidding. Just making you laugh before you sleep, and y-yeah. I promise nothing will change between us, cross my heart” he got up from your bed, turned off the lights and turned on your lampshade. “Sleep well okay?”
And just like that, he left again. You don’t know if you were relieved that it was only a joke or your heart broke because deep inside, you’re waiting for him to tell you that ever since Freshman year. Nonetheless, you do what you do best. Sleep it off and pretend nothing happened.
On the next day, you were at the kitchen preparing breakfast and spacing out while you flip pancakes. Most of them got burnt and you blame Jaehyun for that.
“I told you to sleep, didn’t I?”
There he goes again, startling you and flashing a very handsome smile at you like you’re not about to do something stupid later. “Johnny went to work early and took an overtime tonight just so you won’t get shy” he hands you a glass of water, figured you might need one because you looked so tensed.
“We can always text him when we're done” you added, he nods. And there’s the awkward silence again.
You finish your breakfast in one go, not even looking at Jaehyun. Usually, during breakfast, you talk mostly about your plans within the day but given the situation right now, obviously, you don’t want to know his plans because that includes you. Good thing the day went on normally. You cleaned the living room, he cleaned the kitchen, you cleaned your room, he cleaned his. You saw him changing his bedsheets and you think that’s a sweet gesture, you wanted to tease him but that won’t help you with your nervousness so you just smiled at him when he caught you looking.
When it’s finally afternoon and you’re going to fuck live in a few minutes, you were surprised at what he did to his room just so you won’t get nervous anymore. The golden ray of afternoon light was perfect and helped you calm in no time, Jaehyun lit some scented candles and lowered the thermostat of his air conditioning so you won’t get cold.
“Thought I should make this special- not that I’m saying our first wasn’t “ he rambles and scratches his head, ears turning red and now you can see that he’s nervous too. “But come on, I want to do right for you” he caresses your shoulders and nods his head as a signal that you two needed to start.
The mood was nothing like your first, there was no sexual tension or any sign of desire to fuck each other. In other words, he looked like he’s just doing this for the dorm rent and you are too. That’s why maybe stripping in front of Jaehyun while your back is against him was easier than you thought. But you didn’t know that the man was craving for you. He wanted to be the one removing your clothes while his lips roam on your neck, make you feel good and wanted just before the live starts. He wanted to do that.
“Remember your promise okay?” You put on your mask and Jaehyun did too. He was still fully clothed and while you’re lying in his bed comfortably, watching him strip in front of you but not for you. The camera is right above your head so the viewers can imagine that they are the ones having sex with Jaehyun. If that won't give you a lot of money then you don’t know what will.
Jaehyun was a natural, you wanted to tell him that he does look like a pornstar but you’re not allowed to talk. When he finally crawled on the bed, straight between your legs and spread them according to his want, a shiver went straight to your spine and immediately made you wet. He shamelessly kissed your inner thighs first and went all the way up until he reaches your lips.
Finally. You both thought.
But his kisses were different and you wonder why. You feel like you’re not kissing Jaehyun because you know how his kiss can affect you, although his touch was still the same. He can still make you jolt and part your lips with just using his fingers and a few teasing here and there. And when he finally put his cock inside you, that’s the part where you finally believe that Jaehyun is indeed the one in bed with you right now. You will never forget how that cock feels inside you, “I miss you” he whispered very softly, hoping that the viewers did not hear it.
Time flies so fast that the live will end in ten minutes now and Jaehyun has been fucking you deep and slow like he’s savoring the feeling again. When you heard him grunt and moan, that made your toes curl and clench accidentally around him. Making him groan a little louder and fuck you a bit faster. You moaned so loud just so he knows you’re very much close to your high, and in just a few minutes you both cum together and the next thing you know he’s pulling out and letting his cum land on top of your pussy lips for the viewer’s pleasure.
Fuck you wish he didn’t pull out.
He grabbed his phone from above you and turned the damn timer off because you may not know, but the timer was screaming at him that his time with you is over. You removed your mask and he removed his too. And there you saw tears in his eyes, or maybe those are sweat? Nonetheless, you asked him what’s wrong and made him look at you. But instead of answering your question, he kissed you. Hands on both sides and cupping your face as he kisses you deeper.
And there’s that kiss you’ve been waiting for. The kiss that you’ve been wanting to experience again for years and years. You shouldn’t be happy, but you’re actually genuinely happy that your rent pay is late and you get to do this again with Jaehyun.
“I missed you too” finally you said it.
He smiled so sweetly to you and went back to the kiss, spreading your legs again, checking your slit if you’re still wet. And without further ado, he thrust in. Slowly again, but this time he’s proving a point. Like he’s telling you something. And now that you can see his face, you can’t help but feel excited and the butterflies in your stomach are very much excited too that you were smiling in between kisses.
“Ride me” he says, and effortlessly he trades places with you. Holding you on your back, lips still locked like you’re not planning to stop any time soon. And for your own pleasure, you guided his hands and made him knead your boobs. He did more than kneading, Jaehyun sucked your nipples and pinched them to hear you moan.
“A lot has changed Jae” you said, pushing him down to the mattress and intertwined your fingers with his, kissed them and placed them on your hips. You started rolling your hips without a warning, making the man underneath you close his eyes and part his lips. There are many things you wanted to do with him now that you had the privilege to ride him, but you decided to go hard because this might be the last time you’re going to fuck Jaehyun again.
You ride him like you didn’t have sex for years. Skin slapping from rolling your hips faster than he expected, letting your boobs bounce in front of him and letting him touch them whenever he wants to. “It’s hard to pull out when you’re on top, want to switch places?” He was struggling to talk, obviously he’s trying so hard not to cum yet but you’re good at what you’re doing.
“Not tonight” and that promise just made Jaehyun moan deliciously like he’s excited to cum now just so he can experience cumming inside you.
“Y-yeah. That’s right Y/n fuck me. Oh you fuck me so good! Shit- why did I ever let you go. Fuck”
The thing is, you love seeing him all fucked up and love hearing him praise the way you fuck him... but he chose the wrong words. And those words went straight to your heart. The words ‘Why did I ever let you go?’ repeated over and over again while you ride so fast that you’re overstimulating him already. He was begging for you to stop but it was too late when you heard him.
When you finally stopped, you see his cum dripping from your pussy even though you’re not yet removing his cock from you. You catch your breath for a second and came closer to Jaehyun. Good thing he has enough strength to hug you and roll you to the mattress so he could have the honor to pull his cock out.
“You’re right a lot has changed,” he says because his silly crush on you grew and grew and now he’s completely in love with you. “Let’s not shower together, I’m afraid I’ll lure you to have shower sex with me”
“And what’s so wrong about that” you bite back.
“Oh so you’re confident now huh,” he kissed you once again, and shit you never want him to leave your lips.
But every good thing comes to an end. You went back to your room and showered separately, as planned and when you went to the living room, he was all cleaned up and looking so fresh. He was wearing his glasses, hair almost covering his eyes, he looked cozy in his oversized shirt and his favorite plaid pajamas. “Come here,” He pats the seat next to him, signaling you to come watch Netflix with him. Surprisingly, his arms wrapped around you and kept you close to him, subtly smelling your shampoo. He giggled at the thought of imagining you taking a shower while smiling because the sex was fucking awesome.
He played a movie and watched it with you just so he can still keep you close to him. Not even halfway through the movie, he caught you sleeping soundly on his lap and slowly covered your exposed legs with the blanket on the couch. He pats and pats your head until his attention was no longer in the movie that he’s watching but his mind lingers to what happened earlier and eventually fell asleep beside you too.
It was very late when Johnny went home and caught you two all snuggled up on the couch, snoring and slept through to what you were watching. He had a hunch that you two had a great time, smiled and turned off the TV, and wished you both a good night's sleep.
“I have bad news” Johnny announces as you and Jaehyun wake up together on the couch, all smiles and in an incredibly good mood but Johnny was quick to ruin that. “The money you earned from yesterday’s live was not enough”
You don’t know why Jaehyun was still smiling at you even though what Johnny just told you completely ruined your day already. “That’s not bad news, right?” He whispers to you and gave you a look. “I’m okay with doing it again until we cover everything” Jaehyun says to Johnny while you three sit in front of each other, drinking your coffees.
“I’ll work double shifts at the radio station- are you fine with doing it again Y/n?” Johnny asks, and for a second there you feel like you’re in the hot seat.
“Y-yeah. I’m okay with it” you scratch your nape and awkwardly sip your coffee, “it’s easy money, I think if we do more lives we can cover three months pay”
“More lives it is. Don’t worry John, I’ll take other slots at the radio station too for groceries and stuff” Jaehyun added.
The live fucking continues and so is fooling around with Jaehyun, having better sex every after going live and whenever Johnny is not around. It’s like playing with fire, but you don’t exactly know if what you’re doing is wrong or right because you’re both single, so why are you guys hiding? You don’t get it, but you just go with the flow, enjoy what’s happening and hope for the best.
Every sex you have grown more and more intense to the point that your beds are moving and that gives you better reviews in live fucking. Not to mention the money is better now and you’re saving up faster than expected. But whenever the camera is off and you’re having sex without an audience, you guys fuck like you’re together and you love each other.
Sweet love bites here and there, sincere praises and longer kisses. For Jaehyun he feels like he’s having a dream because he gets to do the things he wanted to do with you. Remove your clothes while kissing you, whisper the things he has been holding back to say for years, and make you feel loved and important.
And just like the sex, your cuddling session became even warmer and sweeter. Cuddling after you take a shower has always been your thing, he visits you in your room with damped hair and you help him dry his hair, Netflix and chill, or order in and have a great meal together.
Days went by and you’re getting used to this sweet Jaehyun and you well know that’s dangerous. But you love every dangerous thing about Jaehyun. The following days grew extremely sweet and intimate. You sleep in his room every night and basically do everything together from now on. The only time you two were apart is during class hours but after that, Jaehyun is right outside your classroom waiting for you.
“What are you doing?” you giggle and try to finish the book you’re reading in bed when Jaehyun suddenly entered your room, crawled on your bed, and went in between your legs. Removing your glasses for safety, inviting you to fuck while Jaehyun nibs your ear and caress your legs. Oh his kisses always make your head turn and ask for more.
“Johnny is not around and I just took a shower, hmm? What do you say?” He uses that cute tone that can always make you stop what you’re doing and say yes to him. Forget the book, you can finish it later.
Removing your shorts and underwear while he continuously kisses you, smiling and giggling while he whispers ‘you always look pretty’ before he removes your shirt and exposes your boobs to him. You tried getting up and help him remove his clothes, but he stopped you and kissed you down on the mattress. “Nu-uh. Stay there I’ll treat you good tonight” he winked and proceeds to remove his clothes in between your spread legs, your hands roam freely in his well sculpted and fucking beautiful body.
Then he reached for your phone and took a nice picture while you two are kissing. The sound of the camera clicking made your eyes open, “send me this picture later. So I can stop missing you” you smiled and nod, then Jaehyun took one too many pictures so he could focus on you again. When he’s finally contented with all the pictures he got, he finally thrust in deep and slow while his mouth is sucking one of your nipples and he looks incredibly handsome.
This time, it’s you who grabbed your phone and took some pictures of him sucking your boobs and making you feel good, taking some pictures of his cock inside your pussy while he thrusts. Jaehyun had the idea of taking a video while you two fuck but this time, it’s for his and your eyes only. He took the phone from you and recorded how he fucks you good, and did not miss the part where you part your lips and moan.
“Jaehyun I’m almost there” you moan out, fingerings raking his nape or on his beautiful body. He puts the camera on the bedside table with a perfect angle of him fucking you, without masks or any cover. He intertwines his fingers with yours before he fucks you hard and fast. The camera that’s recording everything was completely forgotten and Jaehyun focused on making you feel good, making you cum at least two times using his dick and his fingers.
After your second high you were so exhausted that you were breathing heavily and Jaehyun is helping you to calm down while kissing your boobs and sucking them playfully. Even your cute moments like this was caught on camera and Jaehyun was more than happy about it.
“You okay? Want to cum for the third time?” He reached for your phone, stop the recording and went back in between your legs again and kiss you wherever he wants. You didn’t answer him ‘yes’ because to be completely honest you were still exhausted and he understood you well. For a good quiet minutes he was just staring at you, flashing his dimples, raking his fluffy hair and biting his lips at the same time. The silence felt good and not the usual awkward silence you have.
“The next live that we will be doing is going to be our last. And our dorm rent will be settled in no time” he started.
“And?”
“I’ll miss you”
Ouch. You wish he kept the quietness and peace instead. Just as you thought that life will now let you be with Jaehyun peacefully, here comes the heartbreak again. Truth is Jaehyun is still scared and very much afraid to hurt you that’s why he just wanted to fix himself before he could date you officially. He didn’t want to pursue his feeling with you just because you did porn together and fucked live, no you deserve better than that.
He loves you. So much, but he’s not ready yet.
You wanted to shout at him and asked him what else does he want from you? He is so good at making you feel like you’re always not enough for him and that makes your mind go crazy. He did it again. He left you hanging again when you’ve completely fallen in love with him. Turns out he’s not willing and ready to catch you. But as usual, you do what you do best. Shrugged it off and continue to live like it’s not bothering you.  
The live fucking and porn making stopped for a while because you and Jaehyun have final exams. And the awkwardness between you and Jaehyun came back in no time, nonetheless, it was a good week to have a breather and to let yourself think straight. But still, you can’t help but think about everything and miss Jaehyun.
“Are you on your way home?” Johnny asks Jaehyun through the phone.
“Yeah, just buying us dinner”  
“Good. Y/n is on her period”
“Am I suppose to be happy because I didn’t get her pregnant?” He chuckled proudly and having no clue what Johnny was saying.
“Take care of her she has period cramps dumb ass!“
“Oh right- right… sorry. Okay, yeah”
When Jaehyun arrived with the stuff that Johnny told him to buy for you and the dinner Jaehyun bought you, you were twisting in hurt inside your room grunting and very vocal about the pain while you hug the hot compress Johnny left you when Jaehyun entered your room.
“Ah- fuck it hurts” you groan and curl yourself, pressing that hot compress more on your lower abdomen and endure your period cramps. Jaehyun is just so sweet to stay beside you and rub your back while he watches you suffer.
“I want to help. Do you need anything other than that hot compress?” He was concerned and willing to make you feel better.
“Nothing I’m fine. You’re so sweet” you said in a little irritated tone but you’re not actually irritated with him. He scrolls through his phone with one hand, while the other is rubbing and caressing your back to give you comfort.
“Google says sex is good when-“
“I’m not having period sex with you, Jaehyun” but you do want him to touch you. Stupid hormones. Stupid period. It just makes you crave for him even more, desperate for even a kiss, or even just with his body closer to you.
“Are you horny?” He asks without shame, smiling at you and hoping that you say yes.
“I am” you admitted
“Just say yes, I got you” he was like seducing you, luring you to sin with him tonight while you bleed. And you like it.
“Okay” you answered softly. Shy but he knew you’re not that type anymore.
Jaehyun scoop over and went under the covers with you. Giving you that warmth that you need, making your body warm and comfortable, and basically giving everything you want. He intertwines his fingers with you, kissed your knuckles, and then your lips. Softly. Slowly. It’s every girl’s dream kiss. And just like his kiss, his hand creeps under the covers, all the way down until he reaches your thighs and spread one leg to gain access to your hole.
“W-wait. Let me just remove the tampon” shyly you inform him and discarded it quickly under the covers and throw it into the trash bin. Going back to the comfort that Jaeyun is giving you, his hand went back in between your legs and tease your clothed slit the moment you’re back under the covers. Smiling so handsomely and innocently while he lies beside you like he’s not doing something lustful under the covers.
“Do you think this will work-“ and just before you finish your question, Jaehyun ran a finger on your very wet slit which turned him on immediately. He flicked his finger, drawing small circles in your nub and listening to you moan while your grip on the sheets tightens and try your best not to close your legs.
“Do you like this?” his lips were very close to your neck and the way he talks to you was so sultry that even his words can make you moan.
“Mhmm. F-fuck Jae, my clit is sensitive” but your legs say others wise because you spread them even more under the covers and your hips voluntarily move to meet his fingers. When he felt your legs shake and hear your moans become higher than usual, he figured you were close, went on top of you and started to hump your thigh while his hand is inside your now ruined panties reaching deep in your hole making you feel good and over sensitive. Jaehyun grunted so loud and moaned deliciously beside your ear, moving his hips like how he fucks you and you feel his hard cock poke your thigh from the inside of his pants. Soon, Jaehyun came inside his pants and did not care about being embarrassed.
While you were coming down from your high, the man on top of you kept kissing you like you’re all that matters to him. Even though you well know that you’re just fooling yourself.
The night ended with Jaehyun sleeping beside you and further taking care of you after you both cleanup. But you woke up the next day without him beside you and thankfully, Johnny came out of nowhere to rescue you from your ugly thoughts. He came into your room with a cup of coffee and some bread for you, smiling like he has no problems in life and to be honest, you love how he’s always like this.
Since both of you don’t have classes today, you went to the groceries with Johnny and had a nice dinner at a fast food he loves. It felt great. It felt great to be with a guy who’s not Jaehyun. The man always keeps you on your toes and you feel like your head is always in the clouds whenever you’re with him but Johnny, he keeps you grounded.
“Shoot. The landlord is really testing me- he wants the money tonight or else they have to kick us out tomorrow. Fuck!” He says typing aggressively on his phone, telling Jaehyun immediately.
“Were not due until next week why are they doing this to us. We have no choice but to go live then” you said calmly, unbothered as much as possible because you just want this to be over now and move on from Jaehyun.
“You can't. You have your period and Jaehyun is not available- fuck why is he not picking up”
“There are other ways to make a guy cum Johnny. I’m sure you know that” you chuckle and shook your head in disbelief.
“Still, Jaehyun is not answering” he gave up and put down his phone.
“Well you’re available. I just want this to be over Johnny” clearly he didn’t expect you to suggest such a thing. You continue to eat your food in silence and so is the man in front of you. Obviously, he was bothered with what you suggested but it appears that he has no choice. You watch him fidget on his phone, maybe he’s not yet done contacting Jaehyun and still hoping that his friend will end up last minute but...
“Okay” he let a sigh of relief, “I texted Jaehyun that well do it but we're not going to uhm- uh, fuck. Blow job then? No more, no less? A bit of kissing maybe. Tell me what do you want? I’ll be able to do this comfortably if I know that you like what I’m doing to you”
“Hmm. Okay, let’s start by... be gentle with me. You’re a big guy and you know... what I mean”
“I may be big physically but I’m warm on the inside, being gentle is not a problem” he smiles and pour you a glass of water before he asks for the bill. “What else?” he added.
“Touch me, don’t hesitate. If you feel like my jaw needs rest then you can tell me to stop” he nods and told you he will surely not forget about that.
The conversation went on until you reached home and get ready for the live. Unlike Jaehyun who made you feel so nervous the day you had your first live with him, Johnny makes you feel calm and comfortable the whole time.
Now that you’re in front of Johnny, half naked with only your panties and your mask on, everything happened perfectly. It wasn’t perfect but it wasn’t awkward too, and quite frankly you had fun with Johnny. Even though the audience noticed that you’re not with Jaehyun right now, they can’t help but love Johnny’s hot body too and the way he fuck your face gently in front of the camera. Hands cupping both sides of your face as he thrust his long, hard and veiny cock in your mouth. Smiling through the pleasure whenever you purposely swirl your tongue and bob your head aggressively.
After the cum-filled and messy live with Johnny, you wired the money to your landlord immediately and secure the rent for good until the three of you graduates. Now you and Johnny can breathe normally after cleaning up and enjoy the warmth of your bed. “Do you like Jaehyun?” He blurted out, trying not to look at your exposed boobs but you roll your body and face the ceiling and so his efforts went to waste.
“Yeah but I don’t think he likes me enough. Y-you know what I mean” he shook his head to tell you he has no idea about Jaehyun’s intentions with you.
“Just have patience with him if you like him, after all, you’re the only girl that can do this to him”
“Do what?” you ask with eagerness.
“Did you really think that I won't notice you two fucking behind my back?” You laughed at what he said and laughed your shyness away, “but it’s alright. I figured maybe you like each other so I didn’t dare stop you two”
The giggling and laughing with Johnny under the soft light of your lampshade continued until you passed out and Johnny was the one who helped you get dressed. And on the same night, Jaehyun heard and saw you and Johnny laugh over a half closed door. Seeing your bodies close to each other made his blood boil and became jealous in no time. That’s why on the next day, Jaehyun was expressing his anger while you three are gathered in the kitchen. He’s not saying a word, but he kept on closing the cabinets a little too rough while he prepares his meal. Then it hit you, he’s jealous.
You confronted him and went to his room, closed and locked the door so Johnny won't hear the unpleasant conversation you’re about to have with Jaehyun. “Don’t be angry with Johnny, I’m the one who suggested it-“
“Like that’s going to make me feel better Y/n. Get out, you’re wasting your time” he turned his back and proceeds to fix his bed.
“It’s not like we cheated Jae. Were not together” you blurted as calm as possible. Little did you know that you just triggered something in him that makes him want to punch a wall and pour his anger out but he can’t. At least not in front of you. So instead, he shouted at you. So loud that you got scared for a second there.
“You know, I’m always afraid to hurt you but you! You don’t care if you hurt me!”
“Don’t act as if you love me, Jae. You never did. You never even tried!” You shouted back and walked away towards his door, banging it and walked straight to your room with tears in your eyes.
The fight was short but unforgettable.
Later that day, Jaehyun got worried when you didn’t eat lunch and dinner and your door was still locked and he can hear you crying from the other side. He kept on knocking at your door until you got annoyed and unlocked it but you covered yourself with your thick sheets.
“Come on why are you crying? Don’t cry over a stupid guy like me you don’t deserve it. I’m sorry” you feel his embrace and rub your back so you know that he’s sincere. And finally, you removed the sheets but still, you don’t want to look him in the eye.
You have a lot of questions for Jaehyun, and you think now is the perfect time to cry it all out and let him know what he’s doing to you. Why he didn’t text you back the night after you fuck for the first time, why he never ask you out when he promised he would, why he’s jealous all of a sudden.
FLASHBACK (In the middle of junior year)
It was very late already and some crazy person is ringing your doorbell nonstop. This couldn’t be Jaehyun or Johnny obviously they don’t need to ring the doorbell because they live here and they know the code. That’s why you were surprised that Jaehyun is the one ringing it and turns out he is batshit drunk and can’t even remember the code. “Where is Johnny when you need him” you murmur, “Jae, help yourself too. I can’t carry you all the way up to the fourth floor,” you said sternly to the handsome guy clinging on to you, breath smells like alcohol, eyes lidded but can still appreciate your beautiful face.
When you finally carried him successfully back to your place, without any hesitation he puked on your sleepwear and smiled so sweetly at you like he did nothing wrong. You wanted to slap him and wake him from his drunken state but Jaehyun was quick with his hands and unbutton your sleepwear and used it to wipe the small amount of puke on the floor.
You cover yourself with your arms and walked straight to your room and get a clean shirt before you take care of Jaehyun. He was murmuring “sorry” as he sees you walk away from him and weakly sit on the floor with dirty clothes and hope that you will come back to him.
When he sees you all dressed up again with a damped cloth on your hand, he smiled and spread his arms like he’s about to give you a hug. “Why are you acting cute- here hold this while I remove your socks” you hand him the damped cloth and proceed to remove his dirty socks and throw it with your dirty sleepwear. He looks at you lovingly as you wipe his face with the utmost care, looking at your lips and thinking about kissing it but no. He may be drunk but he won’t do that to you.
“Go on a date with me,” he says while you continue to wipe his face and help him take off his hoodie. You giggle and boops his nose before you stand and help him to get on his feet, “try asking me again when you’re sober” you opened his room door and told him to don’t forget to change his pants and greet him good night.
But after a few minutes, you’re all tucked in bed and half asleep already when you feel a pair of arms cage you. You can still smell his breath and figured maybe Jaehyun is clingy like this whenever he’s really drunk, which rarely happens.
“It's so sweet, knowing that you love me. Though we don't need to say it to each other, sweet. Knowing that I love you, and running my fingers through your hair. It's so sweet” he sings a few lines from Sweet by Cigarettes After Sex and smells your hair until his breath tickles your nape.
Sweet. He’s not only clingy while he’s drunk, but he’s sweet too. “I think I like you more when you’re rarely this drunk” you turn your body and faced him. Seeing Jaehyun with sleepy eyes, lips curved in a weak smile, but arms conscious enough to keep you near him.
“Then I’ll get drunk every day if that makes you love me”
But on the next day, he just thanked you for taking care of him and forgot about the date. And on the next few days and following weeks, you hear him fuck different girls and have one night stands every now and then.
BACK TO PRESENT TIME SENIOR YEAR
“I keep on hurting you I’m sorry. Don’t cry, please. I hate that I’m hurting you. This is the reason why I can’t pursue my feelings for you. I’m a mess and I’m not ready”
And just as you thought that this day couldn’t get any worse. It just did. You look at Jaehyun as he tells you the truth and admits his true feelings with you. How he fell in love with you but chose not to pursue his feelings because he’s not ready and you deserve better. And from there you stopped listening to him and told him to leave you alone. Jaehyun was speechless and hopeless, he wanted to explain and express his long bottled feelings for you but you don’t want to.
All this time you thought that it’s you who’s lacking that’s why he can’t even try and ask you out. But now that you know the truth and he would rather make you feel small than swallow his pride and try to make things work with you, well you just can’t be around him anymore.
Graduation is approaching near and your dorm has been quiet ever since you finished paying the rent and Jaehyun got mad because of what you and Johnny did. You look at the quiet place while you eat your instant noodle and reminisce the good days you spent with the two giants who made your college years unforgettable and happy. Actually, they even made your life easier.
Days become even more lonely now that Jaehyun and Johnny became busy with their last requirements and you’ve been alone for a few days now. You wake up without the two boys, go to class or run some errands, they go home but you’re not home, and by the time you arrive home they have shifts to the radio station again.
Today is your birthday and you spend it with some of your classmates which are all sweet and you treat them to dinner. Johnny left a bouquet of flowers on your bed before he left for work, together with a sweet happy birthday card. And Jaehyun… well, let’s just say that maybe he forgot about it because being a graduating student makes you busy.
While you were having a nice dream of Jaehyun singing a happy birthday song to you with a small cupcake in his hand, in reality, he woke you up by patting your head and a kiss on your forehead, whispering ‘I’m sorry’ and kissing your face until you’re awake and what’s happening right now is finally registering in your mind. You wrapped your arms around him and decided to forgive him for being stupid and accept his apology. “Is this for me?” you point at the chocolate cake on the bedside drawer a blew the candle, making your room dark and only the soft light from your window lights up your room.
“What did you wish for” he came closer to you and rests his forehead on yours. Oh you missed his presence, but all you feel right now is the heartbreak and remember what happened a few weeks ago.
“You, Jaehyun” you whisper and closed your eyes, not caring if there are tears in your eyes. You’re not afraid to show him that you ache for him.
“I told you, I can’t-“ you didn’t want to hurt yourself further and listen to those hurtful words so you kissed him and pulled him on top of you.
Everything happened so fast and naturally. You removed your shorts, he was quick to spread your legs and free his hardening cock. Not even bothering to reach for a condom, he fucked you in the dark and whispered “I’m sorry” over and over again that it hurts your ear and your heart so you put your thumb in his mouth and let him suck it good while his thrust was slowly picking up the pace and you hear skin slapping surrounds your room
“Jaehyun-“ you moan his name when you felt that familiar feeling of being on edge but you’re not yet ready to let go. You’re not yet ready to let him go. So you tried with all your might to clench and stop yourself from cumming but what you’re doing to Jaehyun just makes him want to fuck you more.
And so he did.
He covered your mouth not because he didn’t want to let Johnny know that you’re fucking but because he never wants to hear your beautiful moans again. He closed his eyes so he could no longer see your face and dream about you underneath him, and with that, he continues to thrust so harshly that it’s hurting you so good and your grip on his shoulders will surely leave a mark.
Soon you failed and cum before Jaehyun could. You exchanged sharp exhales, gasps, and quiet grunts before he lies beside you and kiss you deeply the whole night. One last time.  
As expected, you woke up alone in your bed with a sore body. You stretched for a few minutes before you got out of bed and head outside to have breakfast. At first, you thought that you will be alone again today but turns out Johnny is free.
“Belated Happy birthday. Did you like the flowers I got you?” he greets you good morning and gave you a bear hug.
“I did. I put it in a vase, it’s in my room. Thank you” now that Johnny is here and you’re not alone eating breakfast, you can’t help but wish for Jaehyun to be here.
“Jaehyun is uhm… working. I can take you out today, let’s have dinner and celebrate your birthday again. What do you say?” he offers excitedly and even showed you a great restaurant from his phone.
When the evening comes and you and Johnny should be out by now but you were having a hard time to chose what to wear, Jaehyun arrived out of nowhere with a girl on his shoulders. Someone not familiar and they’re holding hands.
“I think your friends are going out on a date aren’t they babe?” the girl asks Jaehyun, like she's tying to get his attention but Jaehyun’s eyes are glued on you. Eyes that are very much sorry because he didn’t mean for you to see his new girlfriend after your birthday. So this is why Johnny was rushing you tonight. He didn’t want you to see Jaehyun with his new girlfriend because he knew it will hurt you greatly.
“Y/n-“ Jaehyun called you but you didn’t bother looking back and told Johnny that you’re ready now… even though your earrings don't match with your dress. If he can try and be in a relationship with someone else then what does that make you? Why can’t he try for you?
The night went on, carrying the lie that you’re okay but to be honest, you don’t want to go back to that fucking dorm. Good thing, Johnny was trying so hard to cheer you up and make you forget about what happened. Which is working and for that you’re thankful.
On the same night, you swore to yourself that you will never let Jaehyun into your life again and make you feel small. You will never throw yourself to him again, or even spare a glance and waste your time with the one and only guy whom you allowed to break your heart over and over again. But not anymore.
Jaehyun was nothing but sweet to you and that’s all he’ll ever be.
Five years later
When you came home from work, you caught your boyfriend cooking dinner with a glass of cold wine beside him. You greet him, “hey” and kissed him on the cheek before you wrap your arms around his strong built body.
“Tired? Hows work? I have big news” he says while stirring something from the pan. You told him he could tell the big news first because he looks excited, and so he did. With big smiles and overflowing excitement, he said that “Jaehyun is going to get married and I’m his best man!” you almost let out a laugh but you stopped yourself.
“Mhmm. Guess who’s taking care of the wedding....” you teased him. But just as you burst your boyfriend’s bubble, his reaction was quite unexpected.
“N-no, don’t tell me it’s you” he suddenly stopped cooking, he wasn’t mad. Just shocked at the moment and because of the big news.
“Johnny- Don’t tell me you’re being jealous right now...” you tease him further, “he’s like a college fling baby, and you’re the real deal!” you kiss him on the lips but he’s still sulking and went back to cooking.
“We both know it’s not just a fling” he whines.
“He’s getting married and we’re literally inseparable. What are you so jealous of? You know I saw Jaehyun looked at his fiancé and guess what,”
“What?” he turns off the stove and prepared two plates for dinner which you helped him do.
“He never looked at me that way, but you did” you see a shy smile on his face now and poke his cheek but he's quick to catch your hand and pull you into a hug. The kind of hug only Johnny can provide.
“Sorry, that was so childish of me”
“It’s okay. Dinner looks good, is this a new recipe?”
Soon after dinner, Johnny expresses his apology in bed in many ways he can, making you feel good and treating you right as always until it became too exhausting because you don’t think you could cum anymore after having your fourth…or fifth? To be honest you’re not sure anymore.
But even though you’re tired and exhausted, you still can’t help but reminisce. Throughout the years of forgetting Jaehyun, Johnny has always been patient with you and waited for you to heal from Jaehyun. Johnny brought you to the movies and went out with you while Jaehyun only promised. It's like Jaehyun kept promising you things but Johnny is the one keeping them.
“I thought you’re exhausted?” He kissed your shoulder to bring you back to Earth when he saw you spacing out. “Stop thinking. I’ll marry you too, you know that right?” oh you know that all too well, so you nod and kissed him. Whispered ‘i love yous’ over and over again, and thanked him for being the one for you. It was never easy for both of you, but still, you yearn for each other. Sometimes, love will point us to the wrong person so we could find the right person to us. Yes, Jaehyun was sweet, but Johnny is not only sweet in fact he showed his love to you since day 1.
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bon-nii · 3 years
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There's literally no stakes in the anime at all. Its so bland and emotionless. I don't feel anything for these characters. Everything is being handed to them. Give me back my son, Adam. He is far more intelligent than any of these anime characters. They all drank stupid juice.
Yeah, I definitely agree. I'm just watching to see where this ends up at this point (and also to shitpost lmfao)
Every Thursday me and two of my friends (one has read most of the manga, the other is anime-only) watch it on discord, or talk about it on discord and man... my friend who is anime-only is like "yeah, this sucks ass, I need to just read the manga" and is confused with stuff. We just kinda clown on it at this point. It's basically just someone's shitty canon-divergence AU playing out on screen.
Random assortment of thoughts:
I can sympathize with Manga Norman. I can understand WHY he is doing what he is doing and what his motivations are. It is, quite frankly, completely disgusting what he wants to do, but I can get why he wants to do it and I don't hate him. He is a very complex character, trying to make sense/live in a very complex world. Anime Norman on the other hand? I feel nothing for him like, I just Do Not Care. Norman is, imo, the best written out of the three mains and my personal favorite, but they've completely squandered his writing... ugh
I've held strong by this belief: If you are going to adapt TPN, there are 3 major characters who you *cannot afford* to mess up. Isabella, Yuugo, and Norman. (I'd even throw Peter and Leuvis in there as well) Well, Yuugo's gone and if they *do* decide to have him show up his character is completely different (i.e. the out of character note he leaves at the bunker). Norman has next to none of the depth he had in the OG story (I can't remember, but didn't Cislo or Barbara say that he saved the kids at the mass production plants? Uhhh, what?!?!). And Isabella is being built up as the big villain YET AGAIN which does not align with her development at all (though I do think they will still pull a bait-n-switch on us like in the manga) so there goes that.
Peter and Leuvis oh where do I start? Leuvis is my personal favorite villain of the story for multiple reasons (I think I will write an entire post on him sometime) and Peter is the epitome of everything Emma stands against and is essentially the Big Bad. Leuvis is gone, Peter is in the op but has had ZERO screentime thus far, not even any fucking hints to his existence at all. There's 5 eps left so he has to show up at some point, right? He's in the opening soooo... where the hell is he? How are viewers supposed to give a shit about him? He's pretty fucking dangerous and has been influencing the plot since day ONE, but whatever I guess??
Anime Ray is the only one I vibe with rn, and even then he's meh. Anime Emma is on thin fucking ice, and Anime Norman can be fed to the Dropkick Murpheys for all I care.
Infodumps. My god. These bitches be talking like they're reading a wikipedia article.
The literal butchering of Emma's character. Goldy Pond would have been the ep 19 of Demon Slayer of this anime season if they had adapted it, and I stand by that. The amount of HYPE on social media that would have happened after Emma pulls herself from the brink of death to challenge Leuvis would have been insane. There are so few strong, well-written female shonen protagonists... damn shame that the brilliance of Emma is relegated solely to s1 and the pages of the manga, she is a husk of herself in this season.
No character growth. Trio is separate for 90 chapters. That's literally half of the entire manga. There's no feeling of separation, no feeling that they are wildly different people now. These three have spent their entire lives together. Ray and Emma have to struggle without Norman, and Norman has to struggle without Ray and Emma. It's so important. This dynamic *literally* dictates how they grow as characters. When they are finally reunited it is so emotional and amazing, but also a bit unsettling because Norman is *clearly* not the Norman we remember... but in the anime we don't feel any of the impact of those 2 years.
Yuugo and Lucas. Contrasting the love Isabella gave to the kids with the love these two dads give to them. Adds a lot to the story. RIP.
Also RIP Adam and the Gold Pond kids... jeeeeeze there was so much potential.
Anime sacrifices extremely hard-hitting and emotional moments for cheap shock factor (namely, bunker raid and the trio reunion)
Speaking of the trio reunion, why the FUCK does Anime Norman not give a shit about Anime Ray? Hes completely ignored, and it's not like in the manga where he came in later no, like... he's there, seeing Norman at the same time Emma is. There's like, a solid minute and a half of Norman and Emma crying over each other while Ray just stands in the back like 🧍‍♂️and then is added as an afterthought. Emma's like "oh yeah, I brought Ray" GIRL??? And Norman is like "oh hey Ray.." BITCH?!?! YOU KNEW HE WAS GONNA FUCKING KILL HIMSELF AND HAD NO WAY OF KNOWING WHETHER OR NOT EMMA WAS ABLE TO STOP HIS SUICIDE, FOR 2 YEARS??? AND YOU JUST IGNORE HIM?? AND THEN ACKOWLEDGE HIM AS AN AFTERTHOUGHT?? I--okay!
Manga Norman: Emma and Ray are my best friends and I love them more than anything in the world, but Ray understands me in a way that Emma doesn't. They are both important to me.
Anime Norman: who the fuck is ray
Zero suspense. Minimal world building. Very minimal lore building. No mystery.
What the fuck is up with the William Minerva part of the plot like... uh, that's pretty important??? He's been completely dropped and there's zero reason for us to connect him with Norman. Like, he had his phone call in ep 3 and then any mention of him dipped. Disappointing as hell. Don't get to see the parallels drawn between him and Norman. Man...
Yeah idk what else... am I being too critical? Honestly, not sure. I think my criticisms and frustrations are well-founded, but I am definitely basing most of this off of the anime's failure to adapt the manga. Though I suppose, looking from an anime-only standpoint who has no idea just how much of the story has been axed, it might be okay or it might not be? Or it might depend on the person... in any case, I cant fathom how anyone could look at this season and go "Yeah, this feels like the same show as season 1!"
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antifragi1e · 3 years
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wanna rant?
i just got my grades back for our short film and it was so fucking low like from pre production materials to the film itself none of them got a decent score ???? honestly i wasnt happy with the outcome of the film either but it didnt deserve to be that fucking low . i thought the script n production design was fucking great but the grades i got for them were sooo low
its so fucking frustrating coz people on set worked so HARD to get things done and everything turned to shit during post production coz my editor/director (who wasnt on set btw. me and another person directed instead) wont listen to our comments coz the first draft was fucking ugly . like i get this is her artistic vision and all but cmon it couldve been better. everyone said so + we offered to help and even get help from other people coz we were already on the day of the deadline and she keeps insisting she could do it . i had no choice but to submit the second draft coz we were literally 2 minutes away from the deadline :/ btw im not putting all the blame on her at all! half of the group werent even fucking communicating w me before and after shooting too so like ... yea it was meh team tbh shouldve gone to a diff group lol (im not discrediting them at all i know they did their part but cmon they Knew they shouldve done better) also as producer i have my faults too but this couldve been avoided esp we gave her more than enough time for post prod :/ i swear it couldve been better in so many ways but !!!!! its already there so it is what it is!!
i personally had countless sleepless nights just to finish working on the pre production stuff and i was happy to do everything in production too ! but to see the final product being shit + the grade being shit . its such a fucking ugly feeling . i rlly didnt expect our grade being that fucking low :/ it really fucking sucks.
anyway i was talking to yanna when i saw my grade n she said i should be kinder to myself . i get that this is my first time producing a film but god the number i saw made me feel nauseous coz i really did not expect it . it was bad but i didnt think my prof would think it was That bad :/ this was my favorite class and he was my favorite prof too so like ... fuck
all im gonna say is i know i worked hard and i enjoyed every second of working on it. i did more than i was supposed to do and i loved it . i just wish everyone else was as passionate as i was and worked as hard as i did . but theres nothing else i could do and whats done is done so :/ yeah
re: not wanting to be a filmmaker anymore . idk its still my dream the grade i got just made me feel so fucking low so now im thinking what if that shit isnt for me u know :/ like i did a shit job producing a 20 min short film . i could be better next time but how r we sure theres a next time . this could be my first n last idk :/ but if given the chance for sure i will make sure to do better . n hope i get to work with a diff set of people too
thats all thank u for letting me rant ! if u read it up to this point send me a heart i guess just so i know :--) i hope ur having a wonderful day anon xoxo
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The only ending everyone seems to ignore is v3 because it’s just... it’s just a mess.
How do feel about this game survivors? And do you think that everyone woke up from the simulator or tv show like sdr2 or only the survivors?
Hoo boy...
Honestly nonny, having only finished the dang thing yesterday I... don't know.
(I kinda went off into a spiel, so feel free to skip to the part where I talk about survivors and what I think happens next)
I understand the mixed response a LOT. I mean- I see what they were going for. The 4th wall break was cool, and the (sorta?) reappearance of past characters was pretty damn awesome. I like that the creators are definitely self aware- and there's a kind of 'learn to laugh at yourself' sort of thing.
On the other hand it can almost seem a little too mocking?
I get the whole yaknow. 'Fictional characters are aware they're fictional and rebel against their creators' thing but- like-?
As I mentioned before, thing is, Tsumugi is not us? We aren't exactly intentionally cruel? There's a BIG difference between the kind of fiction in our world and in their world.
What does Tsumugi call it? "Real fiction"?. Yeah- thing is- we don't have that. We don't have the technology for it, and I certainly hope we wouldn't abandon ethics for it either!!! We can't have 'real' fiction, because in our world, all fiction is fake! The closest you have is fiction about real people, perhaps, but- that's not even remotely the same thing?
So it does come across as a little... um- preachy.
We're supposed to represent the audience but... like- the audience fucking suck! What was that they said during the argument armament? "This guy should have died instead of Kaede!" Like- fucking hell. Imagine saying that to someone, who can HEAR you say it, and who's MURDER you could potentially watch unfold before your very eyes as a result of YOUR actions. I mean- look how empathetic some of us are to ACTUAL fictional characters. Could you imagine if we were in a similar situation to the outside world in V3???
Maybe it's because I keep imagining the v3 cast as like- sentient AI, instead of "just fiction". Because I can't imagine anyone being so sadistic or apathetic otherwise.
So uh- yeah. I don't... know how I feel about that. It's not- very satisfying?
With sdr2, the whole "none of this is real, the killing game is all a lie, you're in a fake world!" felt like a relief ! Whereas here it's more like- "what?? It's all fake? What the hell was the point then?!"
"Nothing matters!" vs "nothing matters..."
The whole HOPE VS DESPAIR, FUTURE VS PAST thing worked, because, well, it's something we can all understand. We have all felt hope and we have all felt despair. We've all, at some point in our lives, felt stuck in the past, unable to or scared to move on.
(Hey- some of us still feel like that now, even).
The first game was very simple- hope and despair. Still relatable, but fairly basic- effective to set up the foundation for the follow up.
The second game made things a little more complicated. Sometimes it's more complicated then just- choosing between Hope and Despair. We refuse to fall into Despair, but we can't just blindly have Hope.
So we choose the Future. We can't promise it'll be a good one OR a bad one. But whatever happens- we need to move on. The only way we can make things change is by making that choice, to create our OWN future.
V3 felt very... complex. It started to get kind of... uh... philosophical? And- don't get me wrong, I don't have a problem with that. It just... it kind of shifted from TRUTH VS LIE to FICTION VS REALITY. And whilst the latter definitely sounds interesting- I don't really know if I liked the direction they took with it-? I wish they'd kept the focus on TRUTH VS LIE a lot more.
(Fiction and Reality are like extensions of Lie and Truth but- only to a certain extent? Really?)
It's kind of harder to get into the final fight in V3 because... what are you fighting? The outside world? I mean- I can't speak for the rest of you, but as far as I'm aware I'm not a fictional character.
(If I am- then wow someone's a reallly bad writer huh?)
I can relate to Hope. I can relate to Future.
I can't relate to Fiction.
I THOUGHT maybe the message was a warning of the dangers of escapism ('please dont go as far as to erase your own personality just to be a part of a type of fiction you like' definitely seems fitting for this fandom)- but the message "fiction has the power to change the world!" kinda contradicts that. I mean- I do like that message, but- I don't like the idea of a series about killing games being heavily influential-!
The whole problem was that people grew so obsessed with the series that they threw away their lives! Is that not the point you should be focusing on-!!!!
The outside world in this universe fucking sucks. So they changed their mind, big DEAL! that's not comforting knowing they let this shit continue for 53 seasons-! I mean, maybe Makoto and Hajime were all 100% fictional, but at some point they started putting real people into these games, and everyone was ok with that!
I just-
I'm glad Shuichi got through to them at last but...
Someone said something which resonated with me- "in a vacuum, this is good". Like... on it's own, I thought the ending was great! It was entertaining, for sure. And the whole concept and stuff was unexpected and interesting. You gotta give em points for originality.
The problem comes with it being the 3rd game in a series. (Ignoring UDG I mean-). When a series becomes a Trilogy, you gotta make it good. This is presumably the last game in the (main) series too. And- after the UTTER NARRATIVE DISAPPOINTMENT of dr3- can you blame people for wanting more? People fell in love for THH and SDR2 (and UDG even if its not part of the main series) for a reason- and, for me at least, a biiiig part of that reason was the continued storyline. The last chapter of sdr2 was the hypest shit EVER. when you see glimpses of the previous game bleed into this one, only for it to turn into what's like- a full crossover???? The previous game isn't just mentioned, it's a straight up sequel!!!! I had absolutely no idea Makoto and co would return (i thought the games were separate) so when i saw that they'd be interacting with the new cast- yoooooooooooooooo-!
Hell, even seeing alter ego again made me go WILD.
V3 plays upon these expectations, and subverts them, but... not necessarily in a good way? You- kind of feel cheated? (Idk if you're an avengers fan, but- it's like expecting *Endgame* and instead getting...
Well- Endgame).
The ending isn't bad persay it's just- not quite what one would expect? I can definitely understand why people are disappointed. The problem is, instead of standing alone, you can't help but consider it as part of the series. Individually, I don't think the ending was that weak or bad, but in comparison to the series as a whole?
Meh.
SURVIVORS
(Oh my- I really got off track, oh dear. I'll- get back to what you asked now.)
KEEBO
W H Y
They rllly gonna rub salt in the wound huh?
(Whilst i dont dislike the other survivors, there are a LOT of people i really really wanted to see make it to the end, and it's just the final god damn nail in the coffin to kill off the last of the few characters I came even close to liking the most-)
Killing keebo was dumb
Maki- I liked Maki quite a bit! She's a bit cold, yeah, but I warmed up to her after hearing her backstory.
I found it annoying (if understandable) that no one trusted her at first. I thought it was sweet that her, Kaito and Shuichi had this friendship trio. They really trusted each other- it was very refreshing. I also love me a strong girl. Her romance thing with Kaito was a little... forced. I'd have found it more meaningful if they kept it more subtle/ambiguous (though i suppose they needed smth to use against her in the final trial sooo-).
Himiko-
I-
*sigh*
Ok I'm going to say this once, and once only.
Someoneonthedrteamhasabigthingforlolis
OK! I SAID IT- AND IM NEVER SAYING IT AGAIN
No judgement here of course. Just. Uh. Y-yeah-
(I'm mainly kidding of course, idek if Himiko counts as a loli but-)
I mean... I'm not... the fondest of very small, childish girl characters (Saionji intensifies). I like a bit of childishness in a character but- i mean- it depends.
(I'll never recover from the "seductive whisper" thing from the love suite event
Never.
Never ever.)
Himiko comes across as like An Actual Child at times and at the start it was VERY annoying. Surprisingly, I warmed up to her eventually. I knew in advance she'd be a survivor so i kinda thought "well she's gonna stick around so might as well try to like her". I do appreciate that she underwent a character arc too, and it was sweet to see how she became a more active, determined person. I wish it hadn't taken Tenko's death for her to finally start changing but whatever. She is quite a cute character and after a while became more endearing then annoying.... (for the most part).
Was she in my top 3 picks for a survivor? No.
The top 10 even?
N-no-
I'm glad she's still alive though. SOMEONE damn well needs to be.
Tsumugi- ah. She's not a survivor, is she? I knew well in advance she was the mastermind so I didn't really warm up to her all that much during the final chapters, for obvious reasons.
Shuichi- if shuichi hadn't survived I think that would have been the breaking point for me, honestly.
Overall- uh... they aren't... the ideal picks. Shuichi is the only one I really wanted to see survive, I was neutral towards the others. Tbh I was just happy anyone was alive by the end of that.
Waking up- for the sake of my sanity, I like to think that after the survivors wake up, they threaten to sue and/or maim the shit out of the dr team if they don't start on reanimating their 'dead' friends right fucking now. Surely they gotta keep their consciousness' somewhere in those memories banks right? I mean- what if they ever wanted a "surprise return from the dead" plotline? Surely they gotta keep em somewhere? Right?
Whether or not they reawaken as their in-game or pre-game selves, who knows. Whichever you prefer, I guess. Maybe a mixture of both.
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Text
Harry Hook x Blind!Reader - wow
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saardeforche7 on wattpad
Heya!! Can u pls do a one shot of you being blind on one eye(or both idk),Harry Hook x reader, would really love that❤❤
There was another request for blind reader x harry that had the reader go to Auradon to get her eyes fixed and shes like ‘my imagination did not do justice’ when she sees harry again, but I can't find that one
The second daughter of the evil queen, the five minute younger sister of Evie, that’s who you were, (h/l) (h/c) hair, a perfect (body type), and would be perfect eyes, but… they were only hazy grey ones.
Your mother had tried to give you perfect blue eyes when you were young, only resulting in blinding you.
You were a secret from most of the isle, only Evie, mother, and Evie's friends knew about you.
Oh, and Harry Hook, your boyfriend.
Now how was he your boyfriend? I'll tell you.
But I’ll start with how you met
----
It was a cold rainy night in fall, you could hear the thunder in the distance, but you didn’t care, reading a carefully brail translated book from Carlos and your sister, which was named -Harry Potter and the sorcerers stone-.
When a rattle started to come from your window, you gasped, turning your head to where the sound was coming from.
“shit, fuck come on ah!” the sound of a boy muttering behind the window was unnerving, the strong accent making it even harder to understand, then the boy got it open, and fell through the opening.
You heard him wince, and the scratch of metal on the floor as the boy stood.
“Alright, now wher-“ he stopped, and you knew he had seen you. You squeaked in fear, stepping back and tripping over a chest with your clothes in it.
“ah!”
You heard the boy curse as you lay on the floor in pain, and you heard his light footsteps walk over to you and hands start to grip your shoulders. You yelped, reaching out with a fist and striking a torso.
“oof!” the boy fell back, wheezing “hey, im trying teh help!”
You huffed, palming around for a sturdy chair to heft yourself up before you felt around metal around one arm and a warm midsized calloused hand around the other, pushing you up.
“There ye go, I didn’t know anyone was up here, only thought the evil queen and her daughter lived up here.”
“well” you whispered shyly carefully stepping away from the boy with a pretty voice. “that’s not a false thought”
You could feel the confusion from the boy before you heard a small gasp. “the rumor~”
You hummed tilting your head at the voice “rumor what rumor?”
“well,” the boy started, which started to move away, presumably rummaging through your things if the shuffling of clothes and jewelry was a sign of anything “there is a rumor goin around the isle that the evil queen had two kids, two daughters to be exact. and that the younger one was locked inside the castle, I got dared teh find out and well…here yeh are”
You sniffed, slightly turning to face the boy's voice “so, what are you doing now exactly?”
“oh um…”
“stealing my stuff I guess?”
“well…yes, yeh gonna stop meh?”
“well I can't exactly” you mumbled awkwardly, fiddling with a worn sleeve of your shirt.
“why?”
You sighed, opening your eyes wide and turning to the voice, and the boy gasped, seeing your gray hazy eyes for the first time.
“im blind”
----
The boy with the pretty voice’s name was Harry, Harry Hook.
It took him a week to earn your trust enough to learn yours.
He was lucky that your mother never caught on to his nightly visits.
He was probably the only reason you were still alive, due to bringing you food each time he visited.
You remember the day evie found out, she was hanging out with you after mother had forbidden a day out after she had not perfected her eyeshadow.
And harry had decided to tumble through the window while she was in your room.
“harry!!! What are you doing here?!” evie screamed, jumping to her feet and placing herself in front of you.
“i-I um” harry stuttered, you could hear the shuffling of his feet, he didn’t expect your sister to be here today.
“go get! I’ll tell mal about this!” “Whatever!” he screamed back at evie, you could hear him grumbling to himself and climbing back out the window.
You heard evie sigh in relief, walk over to the window, slam it closed and lock it, making you flinch.
“how’d he even know about this place anyway?” you stayed silent
“(y/n)?”
You broke
“he's known for about a year?”
“What?!! Wait, you know harry?! How?!”
You spilled everything, from the exact date he discovered your existence to when he started to visit you every night.
You expected evie to permanently lock your window and send jay to hunt harry down. But…she didn’t?
“omg that is soooo cute!!! I never expected harry to act like that!!” you blinked surprised, picturing evie cupping her cheeks and swaying side to side.
“uh, what?” “ohhhh I really hope I didn't scare him off permanently, climbing up our tallest tower every night just to see you! That’s just so romantic~” you choked on your spit
“w-what?”
Eve giggled, taking your hands and stepping closer to you.
“I mean its obvious, he likes you~”
“but-but” you stammered, tilting your head down at your lap. “evie we’re on the isle, that’s dangerous”
“so? If we learned anything from our parent's downfalls, love conquers all~!”
You felt your face heat up and you covered it with your hands. “evie!!!”
“omg a princess and a pirate!! That is the best thing ever!!”
“Evie!!!”
That’s when evie started to try to matchmake you two, but the most she was able to make harry do was give you a necklace.
He gave you his mothers ring on his own.
But that will come up later. Let's talk about how he asked you out.
It was spring, about a year and a half after you met, and he had snuck you out of the tower, through the front door by the way. evie had given him a spare key to the castle (she didn’t want him to fall to his death trying to visit you).
And he took you to a spot with oddly fresh flowers that surrounded you with sents that you’ve never smelled before.
You didn’t see harry pick roses, pink, white, lavender, and red.
He looked at you, your hair ruffling with the cool breeze in the isles oddly greenfield, your grey eyes were hidden by your eyelids, closed as you let yourself daydream of living somewhere else than the isle.
“princess?”
You hummed, looking to Harry's voice. And you felt him grab your hands and carefully place the flowers in your palm.
“Harry?” you whispered, now feeling his hand on your cheek. “um, have Evie tell you what those mean when yeh see her tonight, and then tell me your response tomorrow, okay?”
His accent was thick, probably really nervous. But why? You felt a feather-light pressure on your cheek, and you gasped lightly.
A kiss?
“umm” harry muttered, taking your hand once more, and leading you to a picnic. “you hungry?”
You giggled at Harry's awkward question and nodded, placing the flowers down on your lap, and reaching out for food.
Harry placed a roast beef sandwich in your hand (which was hunted by gil and the bread baked by evie) it was…pretty good!
“mmm! Wow, where’d you?”
“ I had some help getting better food from yer sister”
You hummed happily as you munched on the sandwich.
Two hours later, Harry noticed that it was getting dark and stood, picking up the flowers and placing them in your hand before helping you stand and escort you back to your house.
“This was really fun Harry!”
“im glad yeh had a good time princess” Harry shyly mumbled, a blush settling on his face.
He unlocked the door and carefully guided you to your room, keeping silent as you passed your mothers room.
“goodnight love” Harry whispered, “I’ll see yeh later yeah?”
You softly laughed and nodded, reaching out to grasp Harry's shirt as he began to walk away. “(y/n)?”
You trailed your hand up his chest, feeling his breath hitch as you did so, your fingers ghosted his neck, reaching his jaw and cupping his cheek, feeling his soft lips on your thumb.
“love?” he whispered, ou leaned in, going to the right of Harry's lips and kissing his cheek.
“thank you harry”
You could feel the blush on his face, you smiled and backed into your door. “uhh,-ye-aye yer welcome love- ill just-ill-bye”
You heard harry speed down the stairs and you bit your lip and grasped the flowers and brought them to your chest.
You opened the door and carefully maneuvered around your room. You felt a presence in the room sitting on your bed.
“evie, you may squeal now”
“eeeeee~~~~”
Thankfully she wasn’t loud so she didn’t burst your eardrums.
“Evie! Sensitive ears!”
“sorry but how- omg are those ros- they are!!the colors omg!”
As Evie told you the meaning of the flowers you felt your face becoming hotter and hotter.
‘have evie tell you what those mean when yeh see her tonight, and then tell me your response tomorrow, okay?’
Harry was asking you to be his girlfriend, oh. My. God. Harry was asking you to be his girlfriend.
You squealed along with Evie, careful to keep quiet as not to wake your mother.
You made your decision.
As Harry opened your door, softly calling your name, you grinned and pounced on him. He stumbled back and laughed softly as you tightly wrapped your arms around his neck.
“princess?”
“yes Harry yes”
Harry stopped, his grip loosening on your for a moment before tightening again. “yeh, yeh mean you want to be meh?”
You pulled away from Harry, finding his face and cupping his cheeks feeling heat under your fingertips, smiling in his direction “I would love to be your girlfriend harry”
You heard a soft ‘yes’ from harry and he hugged you tight, spinning you around your room.
--
So that’s how harry asked you out, and that was four years ago when you were both 12, you had met harry when you were 10.
“(y/n)! come down here!”
You sighed, hearing your mother call for you, you heard a quick set of footsteps come up to you, heels, Evie.
“(y/n) come on, mommy wants to tell us something”
She grasped onto your arms leading down the spiral stairs and into a chair, next to mal, her lavender/ash scent wafting over.
“you five, are going to Auradon tomorrow” maleficent spoke and continued talking about a plan.
But you couldn’t hear anything, panic setting.
Auradon? But harry, you would be leaving harry!!! You didn’t-you wouldn't!!!
“and (y/n), they say they are going to heal your eyes”
Your mind stopped, heal your eyes?
“you might be able to see harry” Evie whispered to you, not letting mother or her friends hear what she said.
See harry? You would be able to really see harry!
---
Evie guided you to the pirate's wharf, taking back alleys and secret doors, you arrived at Harry's apartment that was a little ways from Ursula’s chip shop. She knocked on the door, looking around for threats as you heard heavy steps walk up to the door and stop before the latch was quickly undone and the door was flung open.
“princess?! Evie?!” Harry's strong arms wrapped around you, you remembered when his arms were similar to sticks and pressed you to his chest, you gave a happy hum and wrapped your arms around his built torso.
“what are yeh doing here?! Someone could have-“
“im sorry harry but she needed to see you and it couldn’t wait till tonight”
Harry made a confused noise as he leads you and evie inside, you clutching onto his arm the entire time.
“what happened than yeh needed to see meh so bad (y/n)?” harry asked, helping you sit on his couch, plopping next you.
“um, well”
“shes going to Auradon”
Silence.
“what” Harrys voice went dark.
Evie repeated herself, not caring for Harry's dark tone, knowing it wasn’t aimed at her. “(y/n) is going to Auradon, I am too”
Harry started to rant, standing from the couch and pacing around the room, before you quietly spoke up.
“they say they’ll help me with my eyes.”
Harry stopped, you knew he was looking straight at you, mouth agape.
“what?” he whispered, “mother said that they said they would help me with” you waved your hands in front of your face “these, to help me see”
Harry took a couple minutes to connive him to let you go to Auradon, but he relented when you said “I would finally be able to see you”
Evie had left at that point knowing you would want a moment alone with harry.
“lassie, promise you'll come back for me?” you nodded, reaching out, harry grasped your hands in his and guided them to his face, letting you cup his cheeks.
“I promise, I’ll even have evie write to you”
Harry nodded, taking your right hand and sliding something on it.
A ring.
“I want yeh teh have this love, it was my mothers, and it's now a promise ring” his forehead pressed to yours “a promise that you will come back to meh”
You leaned forward slightly finding Harry's lips and pressing yours to them. Harry's breath stopped, the first kiss.
You pulled away, feeling Harry's stutter breath on your face.
“a promise” you whispered out. Hands intertwining with Harrys.
Three hours later, Harry was escorting you back to the castle, growling at anybody who looked at you.
“here we are my princess”
You giggled, releasing his arm and clutching onto the door handle “thank you, my pirate…will you see me off tomorrow?”
Harry stayed silent, “i-I don’t know, uma or da might be having me do stuff”
You nodded sadly “I understand, well if you are unable to come tomorrow, goodbye harry”
“goodbye my princess”
One last kiss to your forehead and he was off, his heavy footsteps receding on the gravel road.
“I love you” you whispered to the wind, wishing for it to carry your words to harry.
---
He didn’t show up, but you didn’t blame him. if he was leaving, you didn't think you would be able to stomach it.
“im sorry (y/n)” evie whispered to you, helping you into the car
“it's okay” you whispered back, a tear falling from your eye “id do the same.”
You scooted to the back, curling into jays side.
Evie locked eyes with harry across the way, his eyes misty with tears. He mouthed a ‘thank you’ and evie nodded and mouthed back ‘I won't let her forget you’
Harry sniffed and nodded, wiping his eyes and walking to the wharf, he didn’t want to see (y/n) drive away from him.
---
That was three agonizing years ago, it had taken a year for your sight to fully return, a stack of returned letters to harry sat on your desk.
Today was vk day, evie was going to the isle, and she was bringing the letters with her to give to harry.
You glanced down at the ruby ring sitting on your finger. It was gorgeous.
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And now maybe if harry put in an application, maybe evie would pick him next time, next month.
You knew dizzy would be Evie's first pick, but she promised next vk day Harry would be her pick.
And then the Audrey situation came along.
You were at janes birthday party, laughing with her as chad scrambled to where people were taking selfies.
Then the curse, jane was about to pull you into the water with her, but she missed your arm and you were sent into a deep sleep.
Jane couldn’t bare to leave you there, Evie would kill her, so she mustered up her strength and carried you along with her to Evie's cottage, it was the closest place to the enchanted lake.
When she happened upon Carlos, Jay, and two other boys, who were fighting a beast looking thing, jane set you down and sprayed the beast with enchanted lake water.
It was Ben all along.
Jane had called for jay after he had caught Ben up to speed and had him carry (y/n) to evie cottage, jay picking her up, but taking her over to the hooked boy, which made ben and janes eyebrows raise.
“(y-y/n)!?” the boy called harry whimpered, dropping the silver hook to the floor and snatching (y/n) from jays arms.
“love, princess come on wake up!!” harry was getting hysterical, his eyes gleaming with tears.
Ben blinked confused, looking to Carlos and gesturing to harry and (y/n). Carlos smiled sadly “they were together on the isle” ben nodded.
“harry come on” jay muttered  “maybe evie has something to wake her up”
Harry sniffed and nodded turning to where jay was beginning to walk still carrying the asleep (y/n), Gil picked up Harrys hook, then a thought struck him.
“Harry!” Harry's eyes shot toward gil, who was bouncing in place “true loves kiss!!” harry blushed, but nodded.
“um, turn around?”
Gil nodded, grinning, and made the others turn with him.
A wave of multicolored magic passed by them moments later, and gil couldn’t help himself, turned around and saw (y/n) staring wide-eyed at harry, who glanced at gil nervously.
“princess?”
(y/n) sat up, cupping Harry's face in her hands, laughing slightly
“wow” she mumbled, staring into Harry's ocean blue eyes “my imagination did not do you justice”
“yer not” Harry grabbed one of (y/n)s hands and held it “yer not disappointed?”
“hell no” (y/n) smirked, pulling Harry into another kiss.
Jay coughed, making the two reunited lovers glare at him.
“cute, but were kinda on a mission?”
(y/n) and harry sighed, standing and following the group to Evie's castle.
(y/n) and harry not letting go of the other's hand.
---the end---
452 notes · View notes
best-enemies · 3 years
Note
For the fandom ask meme thing can I request the whole damn alphabet or is that not very cash money of me? I’m nosy lmao I wanna know all of them!
AHDKAJSDKJAHSKDA JACK YOU’RE THE BEST
A - Your current OTP(s)/OT3(s)/OTX(s)
I’ve had my current OTP for like almost 8 years and it’s, obviously, Thoschei (Doctor/Master). My other current obsession is the Gallifrey OT4 hehehe
B - A pairing you initially didn’t consider but someone changed your mind
It’s funny because I didn’t ship Hannigram at first... I’d thought the idea of a cannibal having a relationship was terrifying because what if they had sex and Hannibal got hungry in the middle of the act? Lmaoooo 
But yeah they’re my endgame now. I watched the show when it first aired and I was about 14/15 years old so now you see why I thought that. Although I’m still afraid I’m gonna be reading a fic and Hannibal will suddendly bite Will’s dick off or smth AKJHSAKJSAHSASKAJ
C - A ship you have never liked and probably never will (be nice)
Uhhh Doctor/Clara. Mainly because I don’t like to ship the Doctor with companions (there may be one or two exceptions but I don’t ship them enough to actually say I ship them lol) and I don’t know I just never vibed with it
D - A pairing you wish you liked but just can’t (again: be nice)
Doctor/River. I mean, I did like it for a while years ago but now it’s just... eh. I think she has a waaay better chemistry with the 12th Doctor, but still don’t ship it. I might give it a try once I listen to the River audios but so far meh. I’m not much of a multishipper anyway.
E - Have you added anything cracky/hilarious to your fandom, if so, what
God. I’ve written a couple of Academy Era (focused on the Deca) crack fanfics and I still have to translate them to English. They’re pure garbage but I love them. I have a lot of fun writing crack fics because they’re easier and I can ignore whatever piece of canon I want just for the laughs
F - What’s the longest you’ve ever been in a fandom
Guess it’s Doctor Who, been here (in and out of the fandom) for over 8/9 years
G - Do you remember your first OTP, if so who was in it
Uhhhh I think it was Han Solo and Leia, since I was a kid really. I wanted to marry both of them lol
H - What is your favorite source text for fandom stuff (e.g., tv shows, movies, books, anime, Western animation, etc.)
I had to google what a source text is and still don’t know
I - Has tumblr caused you to stop liking any fandoms, if so, which and why
I don’t think so, but Twitter definitively has. I remember a couple years ago I was curious to see what voltron was about and watched a few episodes, it was ok, fun and cute but the fandom was so annoying I stopped watching it for good and don’t care about it enough to pick it up again
J - Name a fandom you didn’t care/think about until you saw it all over tumblr
I had definitively forgotten about supernatural until I saw it all over my dashboard in the year of our lord 2020 lmao like in my wholock days I tried to watch the show because everyone on my dash (is it still called dashboard?) was talking about it and I watched about 8 episodes before dropping it. But seeing it again on the dash was actually a happy surprise because the memes are too funny hahaha
K -Say something nice about someone in any of your fandoms
I’m extremely shy irl and on the internet as well but I wanna say that  @janeturenne is one of the best authors ever and her fanfics are a blessing in my life; also @thebraxiatelcollection who brings awesome content to my dash and is also one of the best authors. And of course, you, Jack, also one of the best authors god I’m so BLESSED
L - Say something genuinely nice about a character who isn’t one of your faves (chars you’re neutral on are fair game, as are chars you dislike)
Uhhh I guess I’m neutral about the current companions. They’re not my favorites but I don’t really dislike them - they had a lot of potential and chibs came up with some good storylines but did not develop them well in my opinion. I think Graham is a fun grandpa whom I’m going to miss when he leaves; Ryan is cool and could’ve done a lot more if the writers had kept a few things, it’d be awesome if he vlogged all of their adventures. He’s like the one I was curious to see more but sadly didn’t feel a connection; and Yaz, I hope she’ll keep growing and that her friendship with the Doctor will finally be developed to a level we can connect to her.
It sounds weird because with the fam it’s always ‘what I wish could have been’ because I never felt really connected to them :(
M - Say something genuinely nice about a ship that you don’t ship (or its shippers, or anything related to you)
Ok... I don’t really ship Rey/Finn but I think it’s one of the sweetest ships ever, and if they ended up together I’d be happy. They love each other and are there for each other always so, yeah :D
N - Name three things you wish you saw more or in your main fandom (or a fandom of choice)
I don’t know if I got the question right but it’s three things I wish I saw more in my main fandom? Well, if it’s that, then, 3 things about the Doctor Who fandom: 1) people having more civilized or light-hearted discussions about things. Like, I genuinely disliked an 8th doctor audio I listened once that my friends loved, and they made fun of me and we joked about it. Also once we were in a live twitch video playing among us and discussing doctor who, and then we got into a ship “discourse” as a joke and nobody really cared and just laughed because everyone knew it’s fictional shit so why get mad over it? 2) Doctor Who has a titanic amount of content, it’s all canon but at the same time it’s not, so who cares? If you want to listen to Big Finish audios and if you can afford it, then lisiten; if you can’t, it’s okay, no one has the right to tell you you’re less of a fan. Just tell them to fuck off; 3) The best way to keep fandom alive is by creating content. Here in my local fandom we have several podcasts dedicated to all areas of the whoniverse (the show, the expanded universe, the audios, etc), those old fandom websites who do serious work to bring news to the fans, people who make subtitles for the classic series (we don’t have it available here so they do their best to make it accessible to other fans), accounts dedicated to promoting dr who fans who create content, and we even have people making their own audiodramas with dw characters and writing book-lenght fanfiction to help explain the show to people who’ve never watched it, and a great variety of things. I’ve seen a few of these things in the international fandom, mostly by older fans, so I wish younger fans about my age who have the means to make this kind of stuff would make it too. Maybe there’d be less twitter drama out there lol
O - Choose a song at random, which ship or character does it remind you of
“the killing moon” by echo & the bunnymen reminds me of thoschei. yep it was totally random
P - Invent a random AU for any fandom (we always need more ideas)
The fact that we don’t have a pride and prejudice AU for brax/romana yet is driving me insane
Q - A ship you’ve abandoned and why
I’ve mentioned it before but doctor/river, don’t really remember why idk I just don’t vibe with it anymore. But also because thoschei has so many different pairings in 1 ship that I don’t really feel the need to ship them with anyone else lol
R - A pairing you ship that you don’t think anyone else ships
GOD I NEED TO TALK ABOUT IT BECAUSE IT’S SO SPECIFIC ok fellow academy era stans gather around if you have read Divided Loyalties there’s a scene where it SHOWS that Magnus had a crush on Ushas. And NO ONE HAS EVER TALKED ABOUT THEM and the power couple they would’ve made. I write them into all my fanfics in hopes of making other people ship them but I’ve had no success so far
S - Show us an example of your personal headcanon (prompts optional but encouraged)
The Master is a big fan of musicals and in the 77 years he spent on earth he watched every single one ever. I’m gonna be bold and say that when he was young, still Koschei, he was an artist, and thought about dropping everything to become an actor on Gallifrey. Time Lords do appreciate art, and have their own plays, but it’s just the same old and boring ones the young people don’t care about. The Master then created a shocking performance that was way ahead of its time and the older Time Lords were so appalled they banned him from writing and presenting plays and that’s his villain origin story
T - Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending, about anything at all (gender identity, sexual or romantic orientation, extended family, sexual preferences like top/bottom/switch, relationship with poetry, seriously anything)
1) The Doctor and the Master married on Gallifrey and the entire show is just them having the most litigious divorce in the universe (still isn’t final because the Master has killed all the judges); 2) Ushas/The Rani is ace; 3) The Deca was a 10 people polyamorous relationship; 4) Romana and Livia were girlfriends at the Academy and they hate each other now because the break up was baad; 5) Romana writes fanfiction; 6) Romana/Leela had a thing in Davidia I KNOW it; 7) Leela pegs Narvin; 8) Brax has a life-size painting of Romana at his collection or a statue or smth; 9) Brax’s dream in Reborn is actually REAL and he’s married to Romana, Leela and Narvin all at the same time
U - 5 favorite characters from 5 different fandoms
I don’t even think I’m in 5 fandoms but
Doctor Who: The Master, The Doctor, Romana, Leela, Sarah Jane, Bill (this was the hardest thing ever)
The X-Files: Mulder, Scully, Monica, and can I add The Lone Gunmen too?
Star Wars: Leia, Obi-Wan, Finn, Poe Dameron and honorable mention to Din Djarin and Grogu
Hannibal: Hannibal, Will, Bev, Alana, Chiyoh
V - 3 OTPs from 3 different fandoms
That’s hard
Doctor Who: thoschei ofc, gallifrey ot4.......... uuhh as you can see i don’t ship many pairings in the show
The X-Files: Mulder and Scully. And whatever Scully and Monica had going on because they definitively flirted
Star Wars: Poe/Finn, Han/Leia, whatever Han/Lando had going on too
W - 5 favorite ships and 5 kinks you like best for said ships
WHATVASHAJSKAJSA ok this is a little embarassing but I don’t have a lot of kinks for many ships... I guess I have some for thoschei like, choking, whipping, blindfolds/gagging, bondage, begging, biting, sem-public, phone sex, dirty talk, body worship, praise kink, etc. Alright alright I know it’s a lot but in my defense they've shown half of these on the show
X - top 5-10 characters who are yoUR PRECIOUS BABIES AND YOU WILL DIE DEFENDING THEM
The Master, Romana, Leela, Brax, Narvin, Bill Potts, Martha Jones, Sarah Jane, Donna Noble, Lucie Miller. No particular order for most of them but the Master is my precious baby and I will die for this mf
Y - What are your secondhand fandoms (fandoms you aren’t in personally but are tangentially familiar with because your friends/people on your dash are in them)
Not many, usually the people I follow are in the same fandoms as I am but I’ve seen some mutuals reblog some Hadestown stuff which is a play that I’ve never seen but definitively would because the protagonists look hot 
Z - Just ramble about something fan-related, go go go (prompts optional but encouraged)
I DON’T KNOW WHAT DOES IT MEAN
it took me three hours to do this but it was fun!! thank you bb <3
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5sosbitchfest · 4 years
Text
Alrighty, Nonsters.  We currently have 290 Asks in our box!  As much as we might try, I know there is NO WAY we’re going to be able to get through all of them.  Everything exploded this weekend when MessyGate went down!   I don’t want to ignore any asks just because I already answered a similar one.  So, I’ve tried to gather as many similar Asks as possible to let your your voices be heard.  Y’all are definitely NOT alone in your feelings.  Get ready for a lot of opinions on Messy’s Twitter Drama.  
Also, if you sent in an Ask and we haven’t answered it yet, please feel free to resubmit it!  I do try to scroll through all of them but it is a daunting task and personal stuff and work make it difficult for me to get through everything in a timely manner!
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Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I’m really disappointed in Luke and this band in general, the way they deal with things. “honest policy” with messy? So he knew all of this and it was okay? Or he confronted her on this and he is okay with what she has done? I’m not sure this whole thing would be a deal breaker for me, but it certainly would make me real mad at my SO and some whiny excuses wouldn’t be enough to make things alright. Radio silence would’ve been much better than that story he posted, made himself look like a fool.
Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: These girls will sooner or later become their downfall if their management or them does not realise they should rely on other things than bringing relationship up front to sell their music. I find it extremely bad that they are behaving as if nothing happened, I hope there will be changes once touring will be possible again and we won’t see these girls tagging along everywhere or being brought up in interviews all the time but somehow I’m not counting too much on that.
Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I wonder if Luke knows everything that Messy got exposed for or just the parts Messy wanted to show him. Bc Luke said in his Story that he wasn't online lately so maybe he wasn't on Twitter too and Messy just showed him the parts that make her look good and he still doesn't know that she spoke bad about Ashton or how she stalked the fans also after she knew that they didn't hack his email adress cause he wasn't on Twitter so he couldn't see the screenshots.🤷‍♀️
Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I'm just waiting for the day one of them date someone who isn't a part of their circle. tired of them passing around the same toxic girls.
Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: These girls are just digging a whole for these guys and they want be able to get out of it soon
Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: It was a chicken move for Sierra to do it as a reply and no one has talked on twitter that she deleted it because they probably think her deleting it is saying it wasn’t true
Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: Am I the only one who thinks that guys really only heavily interact with us when they want to promote something or say something about the music? I do understand they have lives so being on Twitter isn't number one priority and with all the drama that surrounds this fandom its very easy to not want to be online a lot, I just can't help but feel that way
Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I'm talking about this messy situation (no pun intended) with my friend and she said to me that Messy should consider changing her career if she can't handle that not all people are going to like her. (that ofc doesn't include any form of harassment bc that's not cool)
Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I really don't know how to feel about the Luke situation. At first I was upset and disappointed of Luke but now I almost pity him bc real or not either the management would want Luke to defend her or Messy. And I think Luke isn't the kind of person who would stand up against the management or Messy (even though it would probably be better for him if he would). And most people don't realise when they're in a toxic relationship so I can't really blame him. I just hope this ends asap.
Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I literally was so angry and frustrated with Luke and this whole situation yesterday that I couldn’t even look at him on my home screen, I had to change it. It’s really a disappointing thing to witness. Whether management put him up to this or he genuinely believes this toxicity is okay, I’m just very grumpy with him at the moment. He deserves better and WE (the fans) deserve better.
Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I think Luke really needs to be in a relationship with sb who either isn't famous and doesn't want to be or with someone who is famous bc they have a successful career too and who doesn't need Like to be famous.
Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I’ve only seen a few accounts on Twitter who are attacking Messy and Crusty to the core and exposing every bad thing they’ve done with receipts for the sossies defending them! I’m happy that karma is finally getting to those con artist who think they can get away with anything
Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: that recent lierra picture is photoshoped lmao. if you look at Sierra's hand you can see color coming off from it and her arm looks hella weird.her forehead looks hella weird and look couldn't have taken the picture because I doubt that he could stretch his arm that far and make a perfect picture. also we haven't even seen Sierra's face so I still don't believe they're together
Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: The Lemon pic was like a punch in the face (even though Petunia and Luke are looking cute there). But I've been asking myself lately if Luke has seen the whole drama going around on Twitter or just the posts Messy wanted him to know so the ones who make her look like the victim (and not the ones where she insulted Ashton or she made it clear that she stalked his fans). Cause Luke said he hasn't been online lately.
Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I mean we dont know how much of the story he truly is aware of and how much s changed to fit her narrative and get L to feel bad for her. Plus he was under pressure from management to do damage control and not standing up for his gf is a very bad look for outsiders who dont understand why she's at fault. It was a pretty neutral statement and he was obviously told to make the post so I dont blame him and just blame her more for putting him in the situation in the 1st place
Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I wonder how much toxicity happens behind the scenes, we know S is very manipulative and L is very much a people pleaser so.. and with how much they have to sell their "love" and "happiness" in the relationship. Minipulation is a powerful thing and it could explain why hes out of touch with reality, especially lately since he's isolated with her and doesnt have the voices of the band to raise any concerns and he's been getting skinny again and seems very "meh" rather than happy, idk
Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I feel so disconnected with this fandom rn. I feel like no one is streaming CALM and that makes me sad bc it's such an amazing album. The boys aren't even online anymore, everyone is mad at each other and now Luke comes up with this shit... tbh I wish I would wake up tomorrow and see him tweeting something like yeah I'm sorry about my ig story I still love y'all lmao
Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: Wait wait wait wait ive been gone from the fandom for a little while now and what the fuck is going on with Luke and S? What did S do that she made a fake ass apology for?? I’m so lost please help me! 😂
Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I'm seeing a lot of my mutuals unstanning and I'm just so mad bc Sierra started this drama and got Luke into it and I'm sad that people are leaving bc of this, it's just too much toxicity and it shouldn't affect the band and their connection with the fans but with Luke saying this he makes it seem like he supports the ugly things she does
Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I am a Luke stan and I've always loved him bc he has inspired me so much through the years but when he does this things it's like...damn. I feel like he's invalidating the fans' feelings by being like "if you don't like my girlfriend, ur fake" like he has never noticed me on Twitter or anything but my biggest fear is to be blocked by him or just ignored bc I don't like her (although I never expressed it publicly) n yeah anyways :// It feels weird
Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: Going back and re-reading the DM’s messy literally confirms that she accesses Luke’s account by saying “we couldn’t get in” or some shit like that
Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I hate being a luke stan, sometimes it just seems like he doesn't care? he always puts these toxic gfs before the ones who adore him and pay his bills. might just move into Cashton's lane. unproblematic kings.
Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: He literally posted a picture of him cuddling her and petunia within the hour
Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: The saddest part of this situation is it’s like a repeat of Arzaylea. Luke has no idea what a respectful, mature relationship is. We saw it with Arz and were seeing it again it’s just a little bit different. He stays being controlled and manipulated by toxic partners. I really think homeboy needs to be single for a WHILE and focus on himself. He needs to unlearn the things his past and current relationships have taught him about love because if I know anything, it’s that this ain’t real love.
Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: Is it bad that I just want the larzaylea drama back?? Like everyone could at least agree on their feelings then...
Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: Just checked messy’s insta and of course, everyone that still supports her filled her tagged with just the single picture
Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I feel like the reason Sierra is getting away with what she’s done is because she isn’t that known. Like yeah she’s associated with 5sos, but they’re also like not that big which is probably why it’s getting swept under the rug. I’ve only seen the 5SOS fandom calling her out for her actions. If this had happened with a well known celebrity, they probably would’ve been dragged and been trending on Twitter. I might be wrong but I feel like this is what’s happening which is just unfair.
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ravens-rambling · 5 years
Text
How Venom met the Spiders
A/N: So I have really been addicted to @sugarglider9603 and @ask-spiderverse-virgil Spideverse Au and I watched Venom the other day so I was inspired to make this! It’s gonna be how Deceit met Venom and how the gang met Venom and blah blah blah. It’s going to be similar to the Venom movie but with some differences here and there. And yes there will be a second part and yes this will end happy but for now, enjoy this beautiful angst. 
summary: So there he was enjoying his alone time, being the loner of your kind will do that to you, when he suddenly got captured by these creatures called ‘humans’ and taken to their planet. Now at first, it was fun he was going to enjoy some sightseeing ya know the whole works. But no! Instead, they keep him in this tube and really the only thing he’s felt since he has arrived is pain! The nerve of them right? Once he gets out of here he will show them what mistake they made messing with Venom. 
WC: 2,438
ships: Romantic RED/ Remilceit 
warnings: Crying, Angst, Violence, Mentions of puking, Mentions of body horror, Cracked bones, uuuhhhh idk?
Tag List: @punsterterry @frostedlover @stormcrawler75 @mutechild @mycatshuman @panicattheeverywhere15 @thewinterbookqueen @analogical-mess  
Pain
That’s all he has seen of this stupid world. That’s all he’s experienced. And quite frankly? It’s starting to get a bit boring to him. Though he has to admit at least it’s funnier here than at home… Well, he’s a loner too here but hey that’s beside the point right? Point is is that he is stuck on this miserable planet properly forever without the rest of his kind.
Take that as you will.
Some might say being stuck on a planet by yourself is fun. Some might say being alone and not knowing what the hell is going on around you with all the bright lights and noises is not fun. So hey whatever floats your boat.
One thing Venom is certain of is that he was taken from his planet with some of his kind for these stupid creatures ‘experiment’ to habitat his planet (I know stupid right? Pesky humans). Next, he’s either stuck in a tube barely able to move much or being in high amounts of pain which he’s got to say is not very fun won’t recommend that. Then he barely was able to hear loud shouting and was that guns going off? It was so hard to hear in this pesky tube.
Then a voice, “Royal, we need to get these out of here now. Arachne, go help Love Bite. Gale, clear the path for us.”
Venom didn’t recognize these voices… Interesting… They didn’t sound like their typical scientist. He moved more in his tube, maybe he can get one of their attention… Maybe he could-
A loud explosion went off right beside his tube. It appears that that explosion shattered his tube… How nice of them. And that his tube was the only one to shatter. As he leaned out of the glass he saw men rushing around. He heard his fellow people telling him to help them. Screw them. Not like he needs their help. Not like they had helped him before.
So he ignored them and crawled along the ground, he needs a host quickly. He can already feel the effects of these stupid planets elements taking hold of him and shutting down his body. Quick. Quick. Quick. Host. Need host.
Ah, this weakling will do. He went to the back corner human where it wouldn’t draw attention and quickly climbed up his leg. A grin just happened upon his face as he stuck onto the human's chest, he could feel the petty human's heart beating rapidly. He could hear it setting off its gun. And as he took it over he could hear it scream for help but over the chaos of the fighting, nobody batted an eye.
Aw… It’s kinda cute when it screams like this. Maybe he can have fun with this host?
Wait nope. As he took it over he could feel this host was practically useless. It wasn’t going to last long at all… Petty. Oh well, there goes that fun.
They stood up pointing their guns at…colorful humans? What the fuck was going on? There were human sticking to the ceiling and climbing the walls, even some slinging some sticky substance by the looks of it… Okay, this planet was way weirder than he originally thought.
Not like he cares though.
Quickly he turned around hoping for an exit. Ha! There it is. There’s no point in staying here it doesn’t concern him why take some pesky risk right?
So he ran towards it trying to make it seem like this human was scared for his life and was running with its tail between his legs. Hopefully, he was a good enough actor and… Yep, he was. Out he went into a hallway then another hallway. Where the fuck is outside?? Humans are so stupid sometimes with their elaborate buildings and pretty shiny things. How these dumb creatures managed to get to his planet he will never know.
After what felt like minutes of just running through hallways the yelling and guns shouting still echoing all the way down to him he was getting tired of this.
Jump.
Shielding the host he jumped out the window, down five stories building. Which was nothing for him mind you, he can go down more, but as he was he looked out and marveled on the city’s bright lights.
Well even though all he’s come to know about this planet is the pain he’s gonna admit these humans know how to make something look pretty. Pitty that this planet might end soon by what he’s heard. Why would creatures who lives on their own planet kill its own home? That's just stupid.
But yet again doesn’t concern him. All he needs is a way back home.
When he landed in an alleyway he looked around growling under his breath. He spotted a…4 legged creature looking up at him with fear in its eyes. It was furry with a long tail and boy does it look tasty.
In a moment he lunged forward and in another, the furry thing disappeared and he was licking his lips. Meh, not as tasty as he would have hoped oh well. Just another disappointment.
Alright. Step one, find a more suitable host.
“Shit, shit, shit.”
Dolion kept mumbling under his breath as he ran down the street. A piece of toast was in his mouth as he checked his phone. Yep totally late to this meeting. Fuck. Fuck. What great first impression this was.
This was all Remy’s fault. He just had to insist on staying over at his place last night. And Picani wasn’t any help, in fact, he only helped Remy in making sure he stayed. Though they did it with good intentions, after all, they wanted to see what he was going to wear in his interview and make sure he looked okay before leaving. And had wanted him to relax a bit beforehand. Yeah, they were pretty nice boyfriends. And yeah he does appreciate their help. And yeah he does love them, don’t tell them he said that though he will never hear the end of it.
Truthfully they did need some time to relax. It was hard finding the time to spend with each other. What with Remy going to his university plus his super heroing taking up literally all his time. And Picani also going to classes and trying to get his job and dealing with his bull shit father all in the midst of things. Dolion was also trying to get a job while holding on to his part-time classes they literally had no time together anymore.
Luckily it wasn’t affecting their relationship at all but he knew it was a matter of time. Just like all his other relationships right? They will get tired of him eventually and move on. Could he really blame them though? Between his speech deformity of only speaking lies and the fact that he honestly looks ugly, it’s a surprise that they’ve stuck around this long. It’s only a matter of time…
Something caught his eye though as he ran past an alleyway. Something dark moving in the shadows. But it wasn’t somebody or some animal no from what Dolion could see it looked…sludge like? Now, this is the city man for all he knows this is some government project or some alien. Really he shouldn’t go poking a stick at it…
Nah, he’s gonna poke a stick at it. If it is some project or alien he knows that Remy would be delighted to see it, less work on his part. And they will have more time together, right? Or at least he hopes so.
So yeah he slowly approached it grabbing a piece of trash by the garbage can as he continued to munch his toast. This is way more interesting than some stupid interview anyways.
He jumped a bit as the thing moved towards him.
“Woah there…”
It was definitely sludge like what the heck is it? How is it moving? It seemed to have a mind of its own as it moves side to side as if it was looking for something…
“Hey, there big guy… What ya up to?”
The sludge got even closer as he talked his breath quickened as it kept getting closer and closer. Okay, it’s getting way too close for comfort now. The boy kept backing up away from it but it would only go faster towards him. Trying not to scream he threw some of the garbage at it only for it to get agitated by the looks of it.
Then it jumped at him. Screaming he tried to run away from it smacking and throwing his hands up to block it from his face. He watched helplessly as it went through his fingers and went towards his mouth. All he could do was scream and hope Remy or the others will hear him? No that was a fat chance they were properly clear across the city by now.
His breaths came in whooping gasps as he could feel it dissolve inside him. He felt it go down his throat and into his body. It felt exactly like sludge was inside his skin, was pouring into his organs and blood. The pain as it went through him was unimaginable it was almost like swallowing lava or nails. It was burning but soothing almost at the same time. All he could do was whimper and cry as he laid on the ground hoping he will pass out soon.
Then just like that the unbearable pain stopped. But still his body won’t stop shaking, still he felt heat pouring down his face in waves, still, he couldn’t move. His entire body hurt.
“Hey… dude your alright? I uh…”
Even though he felt his body rise up and his hands move he didn’t have any control over it. It felt like he was a puppet and somebody else was moving his strings. He was still crying and breathing heavily as he turned towards the young male.
In a split second, he lunged forward and pinned the boy down into the ground. His tears were on the boy's face as he tried to move his own body off him.
Then a sudden voice sounded in his head, a burst of laughter, as darkness took over half his vision.
Fangs prodded from his own teeth, dark sludge covered his entire body up to his one eye, he could tell the sludge was smiling. He could tell what the sludge was thinking just before he did it. And he wailed loudly as the thing ripped into him.
Dolion shakily walked up the stairs to his apartment hoping beyond hope that nobody will stop him. And that he won’t throw up in the process. Everything was spinning and tilting. His stomach was doing backflips. He could tell he was still crying and his breathing won’t calm down. His own chest felt like it was collapsing on itself. Everything was blurry… Why was it so hot out? It’s winter shouldn’t it be freezing??
With panting breaths, he sighed in relief as he made it to his room. Very shakily he dug in his pocket for his keys, he had to lean on the wall for support as he did so for he knew if he didn’t he was going to fall. Gulping he managed to bring it out and he almost dropped the keys before he could find the right one, which was difficult all on its own. Thankfully it wasn’t that hard to shove the key in the door. He all but practically fell in his apartment clumsily closing the door behind him and making his way to the couch.
Maybe he’s just sick... Yeah… He’s got the flu and that was just a dream… Maybe this entire thing is a dream… Maybe he just has to sleep it off… That sounds about right…
Within moments he was out like a light not even bothering to take off his sweaty clothes or lock the door…
“D? Hey Dee are you okay? Dee, can you wake up for me?”
Somebody's voice… Somebody… Who was it again? Wait it sounded familiar…
Emile right? That sounded right…
Slowly he opened his eyes to find a blurry concerned gaze of his boyfriend staring down at him. Dolion could feel a cool hand pressed against his cheek. That did feel nice… Mumbling something intangible under his breath he tried moving but found yet again that he couldn’t.
“There’s my Dee. Your burning up babe.”
Dolion mumbled something yet again. Before he could even warn Picani it felt like something took a hold of his body again. No. No. No, please…
Suddenly he stood up knocking Emile off him and almost causing him to smack his head against the coffee table. With wide eyes, he looked up to him, “Dee! Are you alright Dee? Hey speak to me I don’t like the-”
Dolion's hand shot out, but it couldn’t be his hand, he wasn’t moving it, it gripped onto Picani's neck. Within a moment he was squeezing Emile's neck even raising him in the air, effortlessly. The painful fearful look in his boyfriend's eyes wanted him to throw up right there. He could feel Picani shaking under his hand, he could feel his gripping on and trying to tear his grip from his neck as much as possible. There were tears in his eyes.
“D-Dee… Wh-What's…”
“No… Please… S-Stop…” Dolion managed to mumble out through his own tears leaking out of his eyes. Anything but Emile… Please…
“If you say so…”
A grinding voice in his head said.
As Dolion was processing the fact that he just heard a voice in his head his hand gripped onto Picani tighter and with one swing threw him against the brick wall of his apartment. He heard a sickening crack of Picani's leg and arm being broken and it made Dolion cry harder. He’s doing this right? He’s hurting his own boyfriend. Oh god, what’s wrong with him…
Picani fell to the ground and didn’t get up, he must be unconscious.
“Don’t know why you care so much about it. Weakling is what he is.”
Dolion could only watch helplessly as he walked out of the apartment he tried to scream to Picani to help him, he tried to stop his own body from moving, but nothing worked. It seemed only pleading would work with this creature. All he had control of was his shaking and crying as they walked out of the building and into the streets.
“I-I am…so sorry E-Em…”
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Text
Fearghal & Kaitlin
Fearghal: [So the setup is sending her a postcard pretending to be a mate visiting in England for whatever reason (could be fam you get the vibe, nothing suspect given the time this is) but giving enough info that she 1. Knows it is him 2. has the number of at least a phonebox nearby if not a phone in his care home 3. a time when he plans to first call the phonebox nearest their home in Ireland, assumedly this is some sneaky twin shit they've pulled similar enough before that she can catch on without any of the rest of the fam also doing so; only question is how long do we want it to be since he left?] Kaitlin: [3 months ish later then and they've turned 15 but only just for our ref how do we think the situation is with his dad etc like would he just be acting like he's dead cos is to him?] Fearghal: [basically my vibe was they wanted to weaponize Tabby killing herself for their gain, like make it something political even though literally not about that bar the fact her family and his family and co didn't want them together and she was a dramatic teenage girl in love (no offense but like) and so when he wouldn't go along with that there was a massive fight, actual, between him and his dad and then Fearghal left 'cos there's never any option but to do as your told with this fam and he can't lose face with all the other people etc etc and the story the dad is telling the fam etc is that Fearghal deserted them which not untrue but yeah, good enough for all the olders to disown him too so it'd be like we don't talk about him and if someone else bring him up you denounce him] Kaitlin: [let's say there's a crying baby in the background cos like in my OG post she can use her youngest sister needing fresh air as an excuse so casually left her outside the phonebox but might be able to hear her if she's going for it] Kaitlin: How ya Fearghal: K? Fuck's sake, you've not had a bastard, have ya? 's'not been that long, like Kaitlin: Catch yourself on! mind how ya ma was fit to drop, you eejit? well we're all lurred she had another girl who I'm hauling about as my cover, so I am Fearghal: [Laughs] Still easy to windup then [slight pause to take in that it's a girl and is here, like not the biggest shock but also literally no way of knowing at this time so] And go on, don't leave me in suspense, what name they burden the poor fucker with Kaitlin: [makes an unimpressed noise like fuck off] full of that good craic you are, bet the brits are buzzing to hear it. You ready? Niamh Roisin, it's a cracker, like [sighs] Fearghal: [laughs some more] Yeah, catch me on that most wanted list, obviously [makes a wincing noise like no] Christ, actually lost it fully then, has she? Made it longer than some but dunno if mentals get to heaven, haveta ask Father Quigley, like Kaitlin: [laughs herself] yeah yeah [makes like a idk noise] can you lose what you've never had? A good catholic'll find a way, to be sure, and she is that, our ma [makes a scornful noise at the mention of the priest as is standard for her] Fearghal: [makes a mm noise to agree] Suppose so, don't reckon much was said 'bout being good to 'em once you had 'em, so be alright [sighs] What have you been up to, then...How's it been Kaitlin: if it was she'd recite between the lines to keep us anyone's problem but hers, poor critter [sarcastic laugh because mum's getting no real sympathy] it could've been 3 days from when you went off for what's changed and not- [a long pause because everything's shit and we know it is] Fearghal: What's God if not top babysitter, eh? Cheaper than telly and who's giving money to the BBC [scoffs but cuts it short 'cos yep] And I'm fine too, you rude cow Kaitlin: and stand him next to our earthly da and he comes out lookin' class [chefs kiss noise] Hey now! [makes a fake noise of shock like she's appalled at the mention of the bbc] watch your profanity around me, dicko! [really long exaggerated sigh as a pisstake] a'course you are, land well anywhere, but hit me with your bars, it's no bother to hear how right I am Fearghal: If you can get him stand still long enough, like and you ain't a lad so no chance, babe [does pisstake wistful sigh] Forgot you needed protecting from the evils of this world, my apologies [coughs awkwardly then, stalling for time, fiddling with the phone in ways she can probably hear] Taking a bow as we speak, can't fit in here with me but the adoring fans are aplenty over this way, well more than there so fuck it, life's grand so it is Kaitlin: Wise up, boy, he only sways slightly of an evening on these ones lately so he does [but her voice is MAD because fuck being a girl in this fam] Did you now? Thank fuck my new lad has his uses then, like [takes a deep breath to try and calm down but exaggerates it for the pisstake because have to, god forbid they are serious rn] I went and saw your former biggest fan under that rock they've carved with protestant shite, no word on if life's grander for her now it's ended or if she's regretting she didn't send her prayers up saying she wanted another bite of the cherry, one that wasn't yours- [stops like I've probably gone a bit far here and shouldn't mention his dead ex anymore] Fearghal: Good for him [through gritted teeth like let's never talk about him thank you] Like you need a replacement protector, got how many ready and willing at home, just DYING to beat the shit out of some 15 year old kid for your honour and just for the craic of it [does it back, like and then is silent until the pips are going but he's still there 'cos they stop when he puts more money in] You'll be under some rock with Catholic shite if they catch you in their graveyard [says it much more quietly than he's said the rest] Kaitlin: [makes a noise of disgust that doesn't need to be exaggerated for the pisstake cos genuinely horrified at this fam thanks] what honour? Shame you brought down on us with what they caught you at [but her voice is softer too because didn't mean to go off and also doesn't mean any of that we know] supposed to scare me, is it? [said like I wouldn't be here to give them a chance to do it just like you weren't] Fearghal: Why you need to ask one of the others, ain't it; can't be the best looking of the bunch and the best behaved, got to leave something for 'em to do and impressing n pleasing him 's'never been high on my to-do so have at it, lads [does meh noise like this is all so casual] Called the fear of God for a reason, aye Kaitlin: [does the meh noise back and it's her turn to awkwardly fiddle with the phone/cough while she works up to saying what she does next, more quietly than she has anything else] how's it truly then? Away and everything. Free and clear Fearghal: It's, like- just shit because you realize that everything that happens in that fucking town, all the stuff that rules our lives and is all they give a shit about, no other cunt does, you know, Kait? Sure, its on the news when another bomb goes off or don't and that; but the English don't even have to think about it, their day to day ain't affected at all, no fucker but our lot cares and what's the point, honestly? Everything we were forced to at least think was important, if not fecking stupid, ain't and now I don't- [Stops to do some actual breathing to calm down] Not to mention I'm thick as shite, thanks for that and all- 'cos frees a bloody joke [laughs bitterly] I get by, now, got a place to stay so, don't haveta worry but don't be hopping the next ferry yourself, girl Kaitlin: [when you're just silent for ages because as much as you think it's bullshit you're basically in a cult rn with no chance of getting out so what can you say like] not that thick, warning me off coming to keep an eye on all these english girls with theirs on ya but no bother 'cause mind I get sea sick and class as boking on brits sounds I'd get fairly covered myself before I made any casualties of 'em Fearghal: Know enough about girls and enough about you to know the two don't need mixing, that's just school of life, that [moving away a bit and telling someone who's impatiently waiting to fuck off] Stay put [when you say it firmly like serious voice] That wain and the rest needs someone VAGUELY sane about to stand any chance, fuck me, Aislinn's already been corrupted and she's barely in double digits [kicks the box] Kaitlin: [laughs because yeah don't let her around any girls you like babe] you should know enough about me to know what giving me your orders'll do fer ya and what it'll make me do [but there's no actual real threat in it we all know she's staying for the bubs] Sane as you by that count, ain't I? [can't help genuinely sighing] Mammy's girl is Aislinn been like it since she was old enough to play house [grimaces at the thought cos never that bitch] got the rest under MY apron strings, grand they are and it goes for the stories I tell 'em every night after prayers, rest easy yourself knowing that, yeah? Fearghal: Alright, alright [hear the 🙄😏] But if you wanna be the next to bring shame on 'em, you can do better than a cheeky abortion, surely? [shakes his head] Yeah. [Pause] Yeah [Coughs again] I'm doing my bit, swear, it's gonna take a while 'til I can send you anything and I've got to work out how when I do- it ain't for them, just you lot but like I said, not cheap Kaitlin: [an outraged noise like who do you think you're talking to, of course I can do better than that etc] Yeah. [Pauses herself because again what to say, there's so much it's too much] I've got faith in the right shite, Gally [nickname ftw because feels] it'll work out. We'll work it out, like we did this Fearghal: 'Course we will, K. No other choice, is there [definitely not a question] Kaitlin: not a real question, is it? [she knows its not] Fearghal: you want me to ask you one? Kaitlin: do English girls fall for that? Fearghal: Enough of 'em, yeah Kaitlin: [makes a ugh noise] how you've got a bed, is it? Fearghal: Theirs top where mine is Kaitlin: I deeply feel that Fearghal: [makes the kinda sad 'ha' sound like 'I know'] Not all bad though, some class drugs about and you don't get kneecapped for taking a casual interest Kaitlin: [does a little hooray down the phone] Fearghal: Send you some but your phones probably tapped so I definitely won't Kaitlin: thanks or no thanks, depending who'll be listening Fearghal: Cover those bases and the baby's ears Kaitlin: nothing to be heard over her crying Fearghal: don't lie, you miss me that much [laughs] Kaitlin: fuck off [but laughs too] Fearghal: Will do Fearghal: so many English girls Kaitlin: [exaggerated being sick noise] nowhere close to a ferry and sick as a dog, don't start me any further Fearghal: You think I escaped to pray every day and fight the good fight, like Kaitlin: if you still pray you ain't escaped fuck all Fearghal: Not living on my knees for no cunt, sis Fearghal: am being haunted, for my sins, though Kaitlin: Be on track to commit more, you'll have enough ghosts for all manner of shite to get done Fearghal: No rest for the wicked on the one hand, but on the other, idle hands and idle minds [breathes out like so conflicted and confused] Kaitlin: [a change in tone because serious] She's gone, so are you. Leave it here. Leave it in this fucking town Fearghal: Not a choice Kaitlin: Can be Fearghal: Nah, s'not, boths already happened Kaitlin: Happened to you, gives you a say in how you deal with it Fearghal: Yeah Kaitlin: You've lived in one haunted house as things stand, ain't you? Miss home that much, is it? Fearghal: How could I not? Live for these lectures, like Kaitlin: [an unamused noise because you're basically calling her a nagging girl which ain't a mood] Fearghal: [the pips again] Oh shit, should robably let you go, yeah? Kaitlin: Yeah probably [but she obvs doesn't wanna that'd be clear] Fearghal: Tell the kids I miss 'em, won't ya Kaitlin: I'll even include her out there Fearghal: Try and send a picture some time, alright Kaitlin: 'Course Fearghal: You too, kid Kaitlin: [laughs but in a more genuine way] You're my twin brother, calling me kid is calling yourself a wain, you eejit Fearghal: That's alright by me, like Kaitlin: I'll not baby you, got enough noses and arses to wipe here while you're hand holding these brits Fearghal: No handholding, on me life, just good old-fashioned- [will cut him off before he can be gross] Kaitlin: [we can say she cuts him off with a very unamused noise as per like no thank you] Fearghal: G'wan then, piss off before that kid freezes to death Kaitlin: [doesn't wanna be the first one to hang up obvs] Watch yourself then Fearghal: You too Fearghal: When can we do this again then Kaitlin: When can you? It's no bother for me to slip out with this ginger whinger, needs fresh air so she does Fearghal: [laughs then is pondering like umm] Try next Sunday, after church, if I don't answer then I'll send another postcard or whatever, yeah Kaitlin: Tryin' to get a free sermon told to ya, respect that hustle if not the message Fearghal: Obviously, how am I getting to heaven from England? Kaitlin: [laughs] no angels in England is there not? You'll have been thinking on your feet for fresh pick up lines all these months, no wonder you ain't had time for me, like Fearghal: Something like that... [Trails off 'cos don't wanna tell her what's really been going on but also does 'cos not its like that and its been a lot to just deal with on his own] Kaitlin: But it's something else like what? [cos sees through you boyyy] Fearghal: It's alright now, like Fearghal: but it ain't as if the old man sent me on me way with anywhere to go, is it Kaitlin: He didn't put a bullet in your head as a send off, that's what gets me to sleep of a night, but- [trails off because she was gonna say she knows it hasn't been easy but she doesn't know how hard it's been and she's not trying to guess like let's compare struggles] Kaitlin: Yeah [another pause] Fearghal: Should've put one in his [so under his breath it's like did you mean that to be heard or] Kaitlin: You'd have to take ma out an' all, I don't reckon the broken heart myth is anything other than another story, and probably a few of us would make the cut for cute little orphans but you and me'd have to catch ourselves on quick and wise up Fearghal: Make Tara look after you all as well as Diarmaid's kids, see how committed to the family she really is [sniffs 'cos we been knew] Kaitlin: [makes an identical sound cos twinning] I'll take her out if she was bothered to try and get near 'em Fearghal: Least Owie is old enough to help out, young enough to give a clout, yeah? [genuine concern] Kaitlin: [scoffs because we know he's a bit of a knob but it's still affectionate because] Fearghal: He'll be alright [but doesn't sound as reassuring as that's meant to be 'cos like unlikely at this point] Kaitlin: He's got me, my will's stronger than god's so father Q likes to say [laughs] under his breath, a'course Fearghal: [laughs back but its less 'cos sad] He doesn't always chat shite Kaitlin: Reckon he's a soft spot for me Fearghal: [makes noise like 'hopefully not too soft' but is joking, doesn't need to be that kind of priest] Kaitlin: I don't wish you were here Fearghal: How could he not, with the charm [but just jk like] Is it better, in some ways Kaitlin: It's...[trails off cos we all know even if there's less hassle it's not better as far as she's concerned and the loneliness is a real mood] I'm buzzing you got out [genuine but her voice is sad] Fearghal: Your turn next, I mean it Kaitlin: After we get a few birthday's under Niamh's belt [pauses because it's sinking in how stuck she is for now] and the rest, give 'em a fighting chance Fearghal: Yeah Fearghal: I'll make it easier, any which way I can Kaitlin: Me too, for you, I mean Fearghal: I'm grand, honest but cheers [more pips] I am outta shrapnel though so- Kaitlin: Don't be putting honest on a lie [frustrated sigh because nobody wants this to end but she wouldn't have money] speak Sunday and like I said, watch yourself Fearghal: Love ya, K ['cos no time to take the piss for it or protest] Kaitlin: [let's say she gets cut off before she can say it back for the pain]
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tskumoyuuma · 5 years
Text
ok .... so .. I watched endgame ... and I honestly dont kno how to feel. dont get me wrong, it was a good movie but there was so much stuff that's honestly giving me a headache rn. I'm gonna try to say my thoughts below but its prob gonna be disjointed so be warned n yea massive spoilers below obviously
ok stuff I liked included the massive battle scene at the end I cheered the shit out of that it was the best part of the movie hands down. jokes wer fairly well except for one major thing I'll get into. i also Loved sam getting the shield i screamed when that happened. i also think they did tony good like his death felt natural to me n fit w his character n at least he got to be really happy for five years n got to reunite w peter before he went n like hey he saved the universe too which i was scared was gonna go to steve which i would Not have liked. n yea that's.. p much it for stuff I really liked. most other scenes I was like meh or ?????
ok now shit I have Major issues w ......
1) ok let me get this out of the way now .... time travel always fucks w things. u can never use time travel unless u specifically planned for it since the beginning n even then u gotta be Very careful cause timeline shit is fragile. the whole "we gotta put the time stones back so the timelines dont get fucked EVEN THO BOTH GAMORA AND THANOS R NO LONGER IN THE PAST ANYMORE ??????" I'm sorry but I cant just let that go that's too much to ignore n the fact that steve went back n is still in that exact timeline means that the gamora thanos missing thing applies to that timeline too which would make no sense for infinity war n guardians of the galaxy. its is The biggest peeve I have n I really cant look past that. anyway moving on
2) speaking of the jokes, I Hated what they did to thor. his entire thing was a fat joke. they made him depressed n fat n purposefully ugly w that body prosthetic n played it for a joke. even his supposedly emotional scenes wer drowned out by jokes, n I hated it n was uncomfortable n i am so sad about what theyv done to him especially after ragnarok also fuck u even more u get TWO hammers whatevr
3) speaking of hammers WHY was steve able to pick up thors hammer now ??? like i get it looked cool but what exactly changed from age of ultron to now that had steve become worthy of picking up the hammer cause in my opinion he did nothing to warrant this (uh oh my anti steve side is showing)
4) i really think they shouldve either killed steve or didnt have him show up after going back w the stones cause one it would fix the time thing since hes the one thing thats proving that the whole film is one timeline n two it just i think would feel a lot better. like bucky obviously knew what steve was gonna do he wasnt surprised at all so when steve goes in n doesnt come back out have bucky hand sam the shield n a letter explaining why he didnt come back n that hes entrusting the cap name to same now. i kno it wouldnt have the same idk emotional satisfaction or whatever of having steve himself hand the shield over but i mean i didnt feel that i only felt joy for sam getting this title so i wouldv preferred it the other way just my thoughts on that
5) the whole natasha n clint fighting to see who jumps off the cliff for the soul stone scene was honestly ... really funny to me. like they were throwing things n physically fighting to get the chance to kill themselves n i was holding back laughter i really thought they were both gonna go over n whoops guess wer not getting the soul stone cause no ones left to grab it enfskkds plus i felt nothing when natasha died like it obviously shouldv been her cause she has no one (yea yea except the avengers or whatever blah blah) while clint has an entire family to save so yea not surprised there. (also small thing cause its mostly just me but did really no one kno the requirements for the soul stone ? like u kno gamora died there n thanos got the stone n u couldnt piece the pieces together enough to plan for this ?? whatever like i said its a small thing mostly me moving on)
6) i also think they should have killed more people than they did like going from infinity war to these two deaths felt strange especially w the big ass battle AND the building getting exploded like im sorry but the fact that NO ONE died from those missiles is just sonfjknsdjknfskjd nah
7) ALSO back to the stones thing HOW would steve put the soul stone back. HOW. n like he would have to go back to where they got it which is where red skull is. RED. SKULL. UR TELLING ME WE COULD HAVE SEEN THIS INTERACTION IT WOULD HAVE BEEN GOLD. its like they even though this whole bring the stones back plan was bullshit n couldnt find a way to actually do it so they didnt show it at all n was like “nah nah its fine its fine shh look steves old now” (but i guess it wouldnt even matter anyway cause after 2014 thanos is just gone from the timeline forever i guess)
8) also merged bruce hulk is real weird to me n i dont like it that much. his overall character was fine but the whole combined hulk n bruce thing was too much of a jump for me n one of the main pulls of bruces character is his dynamic w hulk so getting rid of that completely to just have ... one big strong smart green guy just made me lose interest in him real quick. plus he looks like shrek n i hate it. 
EDIT: 9) I ALMOST FORGOT n this also might be answered in far from home but the people who were dusted missed the whole five years right ?? wer still five years in the future from infinity war right ???? so how the fuck is far from home gonna go. r they just gonna be like uhhh no yea all the major student characters from homecoming wer dusted n thats why theyr all still in high school in this movie too n even if they do that what about all their classmates n shit who werent dusted ?? n the fact that prob the majority of the grade r people who were really five years younger than them but r now kinda the same age is fucking wild n i Need them to address this. honestly dont like that the time leap was so big i get they needed that time but also i think a year wouldv had the same affect while keeping the missed time of the dusted people at a low, two years tops would have been good for me but not five whole years. of course if they handle this well in future marvel movies then ill be fine but rn im skeptical 
listen ... i think as a plain just watching for entertainment movie, endgame is good. i enjoyed it as i was watching, but as soon as u even start thinking about the shit that happens in here it all just falls apart honestly. maybe im just running off my anger for the timeline shit n later i might come to appreciate the stuff i actually liked more, but these r my thoughts as of about four hours after watching it.
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sewncross · 5 years
Text
Tag meh meh
Tagged by @sylphdrake
1. Nicknames: Sethy Pooh, Dimz, Dimzington, Bastard, Deta, Chewdee, Hound, Ramen man, Pisces Bitch, there's probably more but idk my friends tend to make things up on the fly and use it as a joke for a few months until they find a new nitch
2. Zodiac Sign: Pisces (Sun, Cancer Moon, Leo Rising)
3. Height: 5′9″ (5'7 on my driver's license but they're WRONG)
4. Hogwarts House: Slytherin, the test gave me Gryffindor the first time I took it, but that was literally the only house I didn't want to be in so I just cheated and found the answers for slytherin online and I think I that speaks for itself.
5. Last Thing I Googled: "who will be at megacon 2019" shocker, its me
6. Favourite Musicians: GOWIWWAZ owo (Gorillaz), Bryce Fox, Nothing but thrives, Childish Gambino, Rose Cousins, The Mountain Goats, Billie Eilish, Beach House, Elohim, Cat Paw, Half Alive, Matt Maeson, Oliver Riot, idk man my tastes b all over the place rn.
7. Song Stuck In My Head: Tie between Bad Guy by Billie Eilish, an Love Me Now by John Legend
8. Following Now: 3552 (dont you dare judge me I used to follow 5000 something reached the FOLLOWER LIMIT, and had to go in and unfollow a bunch of inactive blogs)
9. Followers: 316
10. Do I Get Asks:  mmmmm if the stars align I may get one every couple months
11. Amount of Sleep: 7 hours on a good day? 5-6 on not so good days, and 2-4 on them Days™️
12. Lucky Number: 7, 23, 77
13. What I’m Wearing: black crewneck, boxers, I'm going tf to sleep in a second
14. Dream Job: if I didn't have to worry about money I'd become a writer and illustrate my own works n profit off of like some mf poetry books n shit. I say, as I put 0 effort into being poetic in this very moment cri
15. Dream Trip: I want!! To see Japan!! When the cherry blossoms are!! In bloom!! Its big dream, maybe one day yk
16. Favourite Food: strawberry milk
17. Instruments: I hardly remember anything now but I used to be able to use piano, violin, flute, clarinet, guitar and bass, uuub xylophone was a weird one, lmao I was once upon a time a prodigy n then I was sent to live w my ma again and she put me in a school with no music or drama programs and my fingers forgot how to do the thing and my vocal cords went through puberty untrained so shrig now I just have a 4.0 instead which is still good just, not what I wanted as a plucky youngin
18. Languages: enGlusH, bit of poor Spanish (I'm Cuban and Puerto Rican, but my family never taught me the language so they could talk in Spanish and I wouldn't get the tea as a younging) I took three years of historic Latin and can only remember how to sing twinkle twinkle little star, so theres that.
19. Favourite Song: Shuggie by Foxygen, to me it's a story about loving someone but never telling them or making any moves so the chance to be w them passes you by, and before you know it they're married with kids and you're still stuck trying to shove down those lingering feelings because it wouldn't be right to tell them now, but like that longing that if you would've just said something before, it could've been so different. But you cant and now you have to just live with how things are. Not projecting at all.
20. Random Fact: The guy who plays Crowley in Supernatural used to be in a band, I learned that today and now I just keep thinking about him being an edgy teen and its great.
21. Aesthetic: 
-hearts
-red
-ocean waves
-wings
-teeth
-horns
-snakes
-bastard jokes
-forced positivity
-actual positivity
-old paintings
-70s/ 80s horror
-fanmade art
-homestuck on main
-naruto on my homestuck main
-gold
-bisexual dramatics
-lota pink
-blood
-fire
-generally think cryptic with a fabulous feather boa
Tagging @ewwisauce @wholocked397 @masteremp @yourbuoyfriend
Lmao u dont have to do this I'm jus a man whore
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stan-and-the-newbie · 6 years
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A kpop newbie’s reaction to BLACKPINK
Alexa: bold Alex: italic
today you are reacting to... BlackPink!
o damn, are you sure this band isn’t your favourite?
pFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT-  ok, good one, anyway this is them :3
((she tried sending me a picture but it didn’t work))
awh come oN
~ technical difficulties, please stand by ~
dfgfd shhhHhhHhH i know wot im doin smdh. this is alreaDY GOING BADLY
...should i just google them?
its okay, i got it. this is them
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o damn. they're very pretty, but that was to be expected
yep.. so what concept do you think they have? lol as if it isnt obvious
idk man three of them are giving me death glares. uhh black? and pink?
tbh,,,,,they have the girl crush concept, like, theyre all badass and stuff
oh, well that’s..  interesting
i cant believe im letting you edit this post..  anyway, opinion on them? they dont look that similar, thank god
well the red-haired one i like the most so far since she doesn't look like she wants to choke me (and not in the kinky way)
fgjgfghj yes i see
the one wearing the 2b outfit is probably your goth waifu
omf
and the pink(TM) one looks like she's the sugar mommy of the group
m o o d
i'm guessing she's the leader? it could just be the thanos throne
they dont really have a leader..  this is also them
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ah, lovely, a picture where they don't look like they want to murder me
yes, finally
a bunch of talented asian cuties, wot is new
to be honesT. i'll start with the first one from the second picture
alrighty
her stage name is rose
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the first two from left to right are the prettiest imo
o rlly
i'm gonna get lynched alive for saying that, aren’t i
so, opinion?
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she's uhhh 23? and a singer, and she's the goofy one
well youre right about her being a singer..  shes 21, and yes, she is pretty goofy. she is fluent in english because she is australian
n i c e
this is her kickin everyone's ass 
((Then she showed me this video))
i-
skinny legend
and they said infinity war was the most ambitious crossover... asian idols wearing brazilian carnival outfits as some dude sings that song from shrek 2? sign me tf up
LMAOO gee her voice still gives me chills rose step on me
alexa that's lewd, let us move on swiftly
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sorry i just like her shes also a good dancer
i'm guessing she's gonna be my favourite
o
english speaking idols get bonus points, and she seems to excel at everything else, so...
yes, she is amazing. oh, she also cried over her fish's death
;-; oof
:( bless her anyway, you have any questions?
nop, she's gucci, let us proceed
right, the next one is jisoo
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she's a qt ;; she looks like a dork i want to shake her hand and give her a hug
this is her smiling
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i-
see thats the heart smile
is she the radiance? because my retinas are burned
SDFGFDSADFG MOOD
literally no one is gonna get that joke
wat if they do?
then they are people of culture
opinion?
uhh, she is the soft one, and.. she's short because why not, and she's 22 and she sings ;; 
o- i mean, she isnt really tall, but she isnt that short. yes, she is a singer, the oldest, 23 y/o and she is a goofball, a derp. very entertaining tbh
she looks adorable and has a cute name and is a goofy dork god bless
all of them are good at english but her. but she Tries- and is confused.  
o o f
tis a baby
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she deserves all the hugs
she isnt the best dancer, but shes a Great singer, and very stable on stage
their hair alexa their hair is so fucking aesthetic
i KnoW
i am in pain, pack your dictionary we're moving to korea
fuck yeaH the next one is lisa
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abs of JUSTICE
hot diggidy she's the sass queen, and she's uh..  23, and a rapper
oh, this is also her
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she is also 21, and yes, a rapper!! a very swaggy one
jackpot
but shes a whole cutie, and the youngest
awh ;;
and she gets embarrassed easily
i see, so she's the tsundere of the group
she is from thailand, and i think shes fluent in four languages, including english
nice, man
she is also an Amazing dancer
n i c e ,  m a n
shes kinda my wife but theyre all my bias so i cannot decide it is Too Hard
i only have one bias  u-u
ofc u do
remember to only have one waifu alexa, too many waifu will ruin your laifu
a baby
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they’re all cuties this is fucking illegal
it  i s do you have any question about baby lalisa over there :(
so far this is a very solid kpop band
o
lots of english speakers, cute dorks and pure babies everywhere
;-; yes
it has my seal of approval
n i c e the last member is jennie
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o damn. jennie? j-just jennie?
just jennie. she doesn’t need anything else
is that an ACDC shirt
apparently
why do they all look so good and fashionable, and both glamorous and cute and pure at the same time, alexa the space-time continuum shouldn't allow this
pffft opinion?
hmm.. she's both a rapper and a singer, and uhh..  she's the second sassiest, but also a goof, and she's 23. I'LL STICK WITH MY 23 also damn nice thighs
she does have amazing thighs tbh.. WAIT HOW DO YOU KNOW SHES ALSO A RAPPER AND A SINGER
well usually in smaller kpop bands one of them does the support for both singing and rap..r-right?
,,,,,,,,,now that you say it
it finally happened folks, i taught alexa something about kpop
badass
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THEY'RE ALL SO PURE, FUCC
THEY ARE, they have the badass girl crush concept, BUT THEYRE ALL FUCKIN CUTIES IRL also, take this
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my poor heart
jennie is so smol ;; jennie is the smolest
i'm sorry, i was distracted by the thicc
mood tbh she is also fluent in english lmao
pack your shiT ALEXA WE'RE GOING TO KOREA
y ES theyre all really cute and entertaining, they dont go over the top, but theyre still pretty funny - as funny as a girl group can be anyway
pfft i find all of them entertaining tbh. show me some songs fam 
o, alrighty. this is a dance practice, it was the first thing that was released and everyone went nuts
((Then she showed me the dance practice video))
lisa is the one with shorts, jennie has the cap, rose is the one with braids and the last one is jenniejisoo
oof, a bit too edgy for my taste, sorry. but the routine is great!
well, they were kinda made to be badass
yeah, i figured
also, a little side note
o?
their company is one of the biggest companies out there, but theyre known for their shitty management, as in, they dont really give idols many comebacks or promotions, so they dont have many songs;; even tho they debuted two years ago
well, that kinda sucks
yep..
i imagine this business is pretty finicky behind the scenes. i guess it can’t be all sugar and glitter all the time
true..  anyway, this is is one of the two songs in their debut ep lol 
((Then she showed me “Whistle”))
also, may i add, their mvs are hella aesthetic
they seem to be..  not a fan of the super edgy american-ish songs though
yeh, their second ep was better. this is from the second ep
((Then she showed me “Playing With Fire”))
pyromaniac title, piano in the first second. this one's gon' be gud
yeah, this one was definitely better - well, not objectively, just imo 
yeah then theres this beautiful beautiful song 
((Then she showed me “Stay”))
that title gives me the hibby jibbies
y e p p
nvm i saw a mcdonalds in the background and now i'm chuckling
sdfdsdfg honestly the mv is So Pretty
ALEXA I DIDN'T SIGN UP FOR SAD TIMES
shhh its a nice lil song just dont read the lyrics lmao
...i'm reading the lyrics now I THOUGHT THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO BE A BADASS GROUP WHAT IS THIS
the chorus is so nice tho, with the claps
it is..  well, that was mildly depressing
at the end they hold hands and laugh and jump around in a circle in the mv and its just..  i rlly like the mv and the filter is very pretty
a e s t h e t i c
anyway, back to badass
((Then she showed me “Ddu-du Ddu-du”...?))
this is their most recent release, this time with a mini album
and i see thanos’s throne is back
y eS
these sets look expensive as fucc.. is that a fennec fox?
maybe..
and the evil parrot from rio? what is this, a crossover episode?
THE MOST AMBITIOUS CROSSOVER
first we had the shrek 2 song, now this they gon' hit me with dat turu turu du alexa halp meh  
i k r wat u gon do
is that.. a sparkly tank?
y ES jennie is an icon
i feel like i've ascended
tbh all these things were so unnecessary yet they did it anyway
well i certainly don’t regret it
that breakdown at the end is kinda cheap, but i think the diamond tank made up for it
definitely
sdfvbvGJHGthere are two mvs left
oh, just.. just two?
y es
i feel bad for them ;; did u say it's been two years
yeah..
this is so r00d
yes, always feel bad for yg artists
what’s yg?
its a company - their company
ah, i see
their shitty company
oof
here's their debut song (which i dont really like but Oh Well.)
((Then she showed me “Boombaya”..? who the hell comes up with these names?))
well, in all fairness if they're one of the biggest they probably have a lot of bands to manage
not really..  they had very successful bands though, so that kinda paved the way for the ones nowadays
ALEXA THESE FUCKING LYRICS ARE KILLING ME
ASDFGBFVDS MOOD CLICK CLACK BADDABING BADDABOOM QUEEN
"i'm so hot i need a fan i don't want a boy i need a man" BISH YOU'RE A 5 FOOT 20-SOMETHING ASIAN IDOL CHILL
hjkjhghj shhHHH
this is a whole drugtrip
it iS
are those..  black leather biker pants...  mixed with blue jeans? this is some next level shit alexa i can't handle this
y ES fashion icon
why do coke when you can watch this for free and legally?
ikr theres one last mv, and its better, trust me
..alright...
theyre cute in this one
((Then she showed me “As If It’s Your Last”))
jisoo is the one with the heart magnet and i love her
awh ;; man these titles are edgier than 13 year old me
oh come on, its a love song
that dancing, it's s-so lewd  <-<;;
it iS oh, i forgot lisa's rap is in english
n o i c e i didn't know jennie had her own ice cream business
girl is going places okay but 1:36
what about it?
th-the cotton candy part
pfff
sorry i remember the first time and saw it and was like fukc thas cute
well, it was. it was pure ;;
alright, final thoughts?
well, they're a bunch of cute and talented dorks, but that ain't nothing new. either way, 10/10 for the lewd dancing and the fact that they speak english. give dem more comebacks, fam
they have lewder choreos, but thats for another day. justice4blackpinkcomeback edition
yeS, let’s make a petition
Heya peeps, it’s a boii mod Alex here. This was the first time I put together a Reaction Wednesday post, so uh.. yeah...  I think it turned out pretty good! But seriously, a lot of work goes into these, even though it may not seem like it. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it! See you next week!
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Text
Survey #168
“i’ve wished for this, i’ve bitched at that, i’ve left behind this little fact: you cannot kill what you did not create.”
Which internet browser do you use? Chrome. Have you ever lived on a university campus? Nope. When was the last time you saw a photo of your ex? *The* ex, when I was going through old photos on my Mom's FB looking for something. Do you play any games on your phone? DragonVale and Pokemon GO. Have you ever shaved your face? Only above my lip every now and then to avoid that dreaded lady-stache. :') What color is your front door? White. What was the last vaccination you got? Couldn't tell ya. When was the last time you were at a party? A year ago. Did you ever get called horrible names like whore, skank, or bitch? The only two I can think of are bitch and martyr. Who’s your favorite rapper? And your favorite song by this favorite rapper? Eminem, "Love The Way You Lie" or "Space Bound." How about your favorite band? And your favorite song by this band? Gah you know the story, I'll just do Ozzy for this one. Hard to say. "See You On The Other Side" probably wins, but "Mama I'm Comin' Home" is on its heels. Has anyone ever made a promise to you that they’d change? Who? Juan, probably. What’s your television addiction? I don't watch TV of my own volition, but I'd be happy to watch The Good Doctor. Have you ever had any painful dental work done? If so, what? Nothing worse than just getting braces tightened. Is there anyone you’d like to apologize to? Dad again to his face about how wicked I was to him and am so thankful he forgave me. I just haven't because I want that in the past and I'd probably break down anyway. What was the last song you listened to that made you cry? Idk. Could you go a month without talking to your best friend? That's my gf, no, I'd lose my mind. Can you make yourself sneeze? No. Is there something that you haven’t told anyone that you actually would like to tell someone? Meh... I think it's better I don't. How has your style changed since you were in high school? Not really. What was the last new drink you discovered that was delicious? Dunno. What’s the most Lisa Frank-worthy article of clothing you own? Nothing, really. What color is the rim around your full-length mirror? Black. What is your favorite way your hair has ever looked? How it is now. What are five things you are good at? Interacting with animals, being there for people, writing I'd like to think, being a great beast mastery hunter in WoW like 1v1 me bro, and uhhhh panicking over the most minute things. What are five things you are bad at? COMMUNICATING, initiating conversation, arguing w/o crying, understanding finances/economics, and math. Do you enjoy drawing at all? I do, but I rarely do it because I'm way too critical and get annoyed. And fixing mistakes cleanly can be hard. I want a drawing tablet one day hopefully in the near future, because I feel like I'd be more motivated to do it.  Quickly fix errors. What was the last thing you were frustrated with yourself about? Oh boy, idk. This is so common. Do you have unusual sleeping/waking hours? No. In your personal opinion, which hair color is the most beautiful? Probably blonde with some darker highlights I guess, if we're talking about natural colors. Actually, for girls, maybe red. How about eyes? Sapphire. Last sporting event you watched? Dance recital. Have you ever had a teacher that also taught your parents? No. Are you skilled when it comes to working in the kitchen? HA no. Do you listen to music while driving? It has to be quiet or I can't concentrate. What’s your favorite style of jeans? (Skinny, boot cut, flare, etc) Skinny. Are you deathly allergic to anything? No. Who was the last person you had sex with? Or are you a virgin? Jason. Are you Italian? No. Would you ever go vegan? There's no way I could survive. Where’s the nearest GameStop near you? Like... 10-15 minutes? Have you had an argument with anyone recently and if so, do you still have issues with that person? Sara, but only because I said something stupid. No, I have zero issues with her. Who was the last person that asked to hang out with you and what’s the story of how you met that person? Colleen, girl scouts. Is there something you generally always ask for help with? Cleaning the animals' cages. Don't have anything to put them in so I hold them while Mom cleans it. Unfair to her, I know, but I can't do both and Mom doesn't seem to mind, plus she wouldn't hold any of them. Do you own a pocketknife, or any other kind of multi-tool? No. What was the last thing you took a video of? Teddy being a goof. Have you ever been somewhere where you didn’t fluently speak the local language? No. What is your least favorite kind of weather? Hot and humid like fuck off. Describe the 'look’ you did the last time you wore makeup. Uhhh mildly winged liner, black eyeshadow, black lips. If you got pregnant the 1st time you had sex, how old would the kid be now? I don't remember when it was 'cuz I've said before I didn't really. Realize it was sex until literally this year when I looked back on it. But anyway, six-ish. Have you ever polished and waxed your car? N/A As a kid, did you have any friends with parents who yelled a lot? Don't think so. What’s the biggest risk you’ve ever taken? ODing. Have you ever lived in a small community where everyone knew each other? No. What are some of your least favorite foods? BEANS, mushrooms, asparagus, brussel sprouts, cherries, nuts, etc. etc. etc. I'm picky as hell. Do you give your pets gifts and treats for their birthday/adoption day? Only Teddy 'cuz I actually know his rip. Has anyone ever set you up on a blind date? If so, how did it go? No. Do you believe your ex cares about you? The only ex I feel /sincerely/ does is Girt. What is the strangest type of candy you have eaten? Idk. What would be your most ideal profession? Meerkat biologist. What kind of rides do you enjoy the most at amusement parks? Kinds that don't make me fear vomiting. What is a topic you definitely don’t want to talk about with anyone? Weight. Where do you carry the things you need with you when leaving the house? Pocketbook. What’s the last thing you made with your hands? Uhhhh a drawing? Have you ever been physically or mentally abused? How did it affect you? No. Do you consider yourself a vengeful person? If so, why’d you think that is? Not in the least. Do you own any accessories with your name or initial on them? I have a "B" necklace somewhere from someone, but. Never wear it. Are you nervous/anxious, for any reason at all? Nah. For once. What was the last compliment you received from the opposite sex? Dad said I looked great when I got in the car to go to the theater. Have you ever been to an orchard? No. :c What are your plans for Halloween? I've no clue. :/ Do you plan on carving a pumpkin this year? Yeah. What’s your favorite Halloween movie? Hocus Pocus. What’s your favorite kind of apple? Red. Do you like to roast marshmallows? Yeah. If you have a job, who’s your closest friend at work? N/A When was the last time you stayed in a hotel? Where was it? Shit, not since a dance competition at the beach years ago. Have you ever gotten your nails done? Like twice because I was invited. Who was the last family member of yours that died? Idk. Who was your favorite president? Not educated enough on this. The last type of sandwich you made or ate: I believe ham, cheese, and mustard. The last time the weather was just the way you like it: Been a long time. The last time you apologized and the last time you received one: I dunno. I say "sorry" like obsessively, but a serious apology, idk. To me, either Mom or Sara. Do you have a smartphone or a dumb phone, or no phone? Smartphone. Do you own any tapestries, and if so, what’s on it/them? No. Have you ever made a collage for your bedroom wall? No. What types of churches do you find really boring? All of them. On what day is your local grocery store the busiest? I would guess the weekend? What day do you usually go grocery shopping? I don't, Mom does. She doesn't have a regular day. What devotional do you read, if any? None. What is your favorite color for cars? Burnt orange. Have you ever tried writing with the opposite hand? How good/bad was it? Yeah, not good. Do you prefer dark, brown or white chocolate? Milk/brown. Have you ever had a controlling boyfriend/girlfriend? No. Have you ever written a love letter to someone as a joke? That's fucking evil. No. How many true heart breaks have you had in your lifetime? One. Do you have any gay family members? Mom's cousin or something. Who was the last person to sleep over at your house? Sara. Would you ever get a boob job? I DON'T NEED ONE LIKE ONE OF THE THINGS I LOOK FORWARD TO MOST WITH LOSING WEIGHT IS NOT HAVING TRISHA PAYTAS TITS. Did your last relationship end because of you or the other person? Me. Have you ever tried to break up anyone because YOU liked the guy/girl? No. What would you think if you found out your ex was gay? My very first "boyfriend" I think actually is. I'd be stunned if Juan, Girt, and especially Jason came out, although Jason would make me fucking cackle. Boy could I say some shit about that. Would you ever take someone back if you found out they cheated on you? Nah son. Have you ever lied to your boyfriend/girlfriend? I've never told a serious lie, but I'm sure I've told like minuscule ones ("I'm fine," etc.) every now and again. Would you be upset if you caught your boyfriend looking at porn? Yup. Minority opinion, but. When was the last time you were on a city bus? Never. Do you have a garden? Does it have flowers, vegetables, or both? No. Have you ever burned an ant with a magnifying glass? No. Have you ever had an ant farm? Maybe? I had a lot of those little animal kit things as a kid, like frogs and butterflies. Have you ever had crabs, turtles, or lobsters? Hermit crabs. Briefly turtles. Has anyone ever told you you’re too young for something? No, I think? Maybe. What about for someone? No. How many times have you changed a diaper in your life? Literally once when it wasn't even dirty???? Why did I do that??????????? Has a younger person ever confided in you as an adult? Yeah. Have you ever felt responsible for someone’s death? No. Who knows your biggest secret and why did you tell them? No one. What’s your best memory with your ex? Aaron: group skating rink date. Juan: I'm not sure, probably making him play a Just Dance game with me lmao. Jason: That's like impossible to say with how long we were together. But a time that will always stand out for me is when we were playfighting, I came storming into the kitchen, big time slipped in the middle of "yelling," and he caught me and we laughed for like a full minute. Tyler: Nothing, really. Girt: He was reading a memento in Amnesia: A Machine For Pigs, and I'll say the writing is very unique, and he got to one sentence he read in THE most incredulous voice, and I spat my drink e v e r y w h e r e. I deadass laughed/cried for like ten minutes and still had outbursts afterwards. It was one of those "you had to be there" things. The last time you felt insulted/offended: Dunno. The last time you held a baby: Over a month ago when I had to hold Keegan for whatever reason. The last form you filled out: Something for my new doctor. The last video game you played: So here's a super weird fact about me; as a kid, I loved hunting games, all the while even then hating hunting for sport irl. Not a clue clue why. I recently got more "back" into gaming and I'm working on beating Dangerous Hunts again. What is your favorite type of cat? Persians. What religion were you raised in? Are you still that religion, if you had one? Roman Catholicism, and no. What religion/spiritual path intrigues you the most, if any? Wiccan and Buddhism. What heritage does your last name imply? Scottish. Recently, what artists/bands have you been listening to a lot? Powerwolf, Mother Mother. Do you know any HTML coding? No. Has anyone ever called you rich? HA as if. What makes you feel beautiful? lol How many bathrooms are in your house? One. Last time you were on a plane and where did you go? March, Illinois. Hopping on one again tomorrow!! Are you considered a very sensitive person? Probably by those who know me well. I know I am. Have you ever told someone you never wanted to speak to them again? Dad, yeah. What is the worst name anyone has ever called you? Being called a martyr still hurts, and that was like two years ago. When was the last time you cried out loud in front of someone? Mom around a week ago or something. Have you ever been questioned by the police? No. Have you ever had to be put on medicine for a mental disorder? Yeah. What do you normally drink when eating at a restaurant? Mtn. Dew if Pepsi products, otherwise Coke. Have you ever been in a car accident? One. Are you currently in a happy relationship? YEAH!!!! Do you normally have nightmares or good dreams? Neither. Just weird. What if a friend asked you to go with her to get an abortion? OH WOW I AM *NOT* THE PERSON TO ASK. I really don't know. I've made my opinion on the subject pretty clear, and if the abortion wasn't for your own mental and/or physical health and rather you just not wanting to face the consequences of your actions, idk if I could go. Have you ever had a deep conversation with someone who was high on anything? No. Are you experiencing problems within a current friendship? No. Ever made yourself throw up? No, I fear vomiting too much to ever. Who of the opposite sex has seen you at your worst? Jason. When at a fast food place, do you usually order a small, medium, or large drink? Medium. Do you dip your pretzels in anything? No. When was the last time you started a new medication? Recently for knee pain. What is your favorite type of nut? None. Where did you eat the best pizza you’ve ever eaten in your life? Literally Domino's lmao. Do you know what year your parents married? No. Do you know anyone who was adopted? Yeah. Do you prefer loose leaf tea or teabags? You know my opinion on tea. What is your favorite place to get Chinese food? I dunno the name of the place Mom goes. Do you part your hair to the side? It's parted far to the left. Is winter your least favorite season? No, it's my second-favorite! Do you know someone who’s a stripper? No. Are you sitting in a spinning chair? No, I'm in bed. When’s the next time you’ll go to a haunted house? I've never been to a "real" one but would LOVE to. How old is too old to trick-or-treat? I really don't care. Honestly believe there's no magic age where it's no longer okay. I still would if not for societal expectations. Have you ever caught a firefly? Yes. Do you own any camouflage? No. What's the next really important thing you have to do? Get to my flight on time. Are you looking forward to anything? T O M O R R O W  A P P R O A C H E S How late is too late for coffee for you? I don't drink coffee. Have you ever written or considered writing a play? No. How about a novel? If so, could you give us the synopsis of the plot? Yeah, as a kid. It was about a family of meerkats of different "breeds" (dragon, fire, ice, etc.) plagued by their king's brother as well as the prince finding love. That's all I remember of it. Who is considered the "black sheep" of your family? Why? Lol me. I'm just pretty different from like everyone with "problematic" traits. What's a color you hate? Puke green. What's an odor you hate? Old garbage. What's a sound you hate? Babies screaming omfg. What's something you'd never ever dare to ask another person? Hmmm. Probably if they've ever been raped or molested. What's something you've always wanted to ask someone but haven't dared? OKAY. So I coulda sworn one of my best high school friends was pregnant in middle school, before I talked to her at all. Then I believe I saw her with her baby once when we were in the gym for something. When we became friends, she never spoke of having a child and most certainly didn't look a bit like she'd had a baby. I never wanted to ask because you know the stigma of teen pregnancy. What is a song you cannot stand? Any country song where the singer has that godawful southern-as-hell twang. What's the worst/best thing you've done without your parents knowing? *shrugs* If you wear earrings, what does your favorite pair look like? Idk, I haven't looked at my earrings in a long time. Have you ever won any money from a scratch card? Like a dollar or so on the rare occasion my parents bought one. How about a slot machine? No. Do you like playing bingo? Sure. What's been the best thing you've found at a flea market? I love this little dragon figure I have. Oh, and my shipwreck lamp! Do you ever glance at people's butts? I'm a sucker for ass tbh okay. Like I'm not a dick that's gonna stare, but I'm guilty of glances, sure. What's something that catches your eye about other people? Their style. What's a random funny scene from a movie that has stuck with you? The first thing that came to my mind is from the Scooby movie where the girl introduces herself as Mary Jane and Shaggy goes, "That's, like, my favorite name" lmao. Oh, the things you miss as a kid. Are you one of those people who will not use a public washroom? I avoid it as much as possible. Have your parents ever disapproved of the person you're dating? No. What kind of things do you collect? Right now, just meerkat and Silent Hill stuff. YouTuber merch will happen when I can afford to buy it myself ha ha. Do you have a thing for body hair? No opinion. Not too into heavy back or chest hair, but still, don't really care. Is there anyone into you that you have no interest in? No clue if Girt still likes me, but if so, I don't reciprocate the feeling romantically. What's the longest you've slept for? Like 11 hours, maybe? Do your parents have a bad relationship with anyone? Not especially other than between each other. Were you raised by someone other than your parents? No. Do you prefer the color pink or blue? Pink. What's the last chore you did? Vacuumed. Have you ever had pet mice? Rats. What is your godmother's name? I don't think I have one. What's the last party you went to? A year ago at Summer's. Have you ever been to a jungle? No. What is your favorite jungle animal? Tigers! When did you first find yourself attracted to someone? I dunno. Elementary school. If you met a genie, what would you wish for? Financial stability, world peace, cure for Alzheimer's/dementia. Have you ever ran away from home? For like two hours or less. Is your father injured? No. He has a bad back, but. Would you be willing to die protecting your country? Like in the military or something? No. Have you ever dated someone from a different country? For less than a day. Are you part Native American? Not that I know of. What are your pets' names? Teddy, Bentley, Roman, Venus, Kaiju, and Mitsu. Do you like to go hunting? NONONONONONO. I'd have a hard time doing it even for survival. Have you ever worked two jobs? No. Who is the oldest sibling in your family? Katie. What are some of your happy thoughts? Being with Sara, imagining a positive future, remembering all I've endured and conquered, etc. etc. What's your favorite pattern for clothes? Plaid, I suppose? Do you ever wear fur? No. Who is the worst boss you've ever had? Why? N/A What are the names of the all the dogs you've ever owned? Trigger, Angel, Teddy, Dale, Delilah, Harley, Cali, and Bentley, I think. Where did you meet your current or last significant other? YouTube. When did you last ride a bike? Years ago. What did you last ask your parents permission for? Uhhh. I dunno. Oh, actually, I was thinking of spending a day with Dad, and I wanted to know if it would bother Mom. She said no, but I don't believe her. I didn't do it, though. Why were you in a waiting room the last time? Psychiatrist appointment yesterday. What's your lawyer's name? I don't have one. Do you own a lot of scarves? Do I even own any??? Would you ever get a face tattoo? No. What kind of car did you take your drivers test in? Haven't taken it. How much was the rent/mortgage at the cheapest place you’ve ever lived? I wouldn't know, I don't pay it. Who in life have you felt the strongest need to protect? Holy shit, Sara. What is the cruelest thing a person has ever said to you? Who even knows. What crime from history fascinates you most? No clue. Who do you think was the worst criminal in history? Maybe Saddam Hussein. Who has the weakest set of values in your family? Idk. What is the most disturbing sound you know of? Bones cracking. What's the shortest amount of time between orgasms you've ever experienced? N/A Which laws would you most like to change? Off the top of my head, we. Need. More. Gun. Fucking. Control. I'm not for a ban of firearms, but jfc, it's too easy to purchase a goddamn killing machine. What the oldest you'd like to live? 80, maybe? After that I can just imagine poor health that would really suck. Which sibling is or was favored most by your parents? I actually think it's me, tbh. Mom and I have an incredibly strong bond and have serious history, and Dad's and mine is very deep and definitely as a kid was the storybook father/daughter relationship, and now that we're reunited, I think we both cherish each other more. What's the biggest surprise you've ever had in bed? Waking up in the middle of the night to Jason groping my boobs. Who is the person you most wanted to have an affair with but didn't? I've never wanted that. Who have you most feared in your life? Dad. What would make you go insane the fastest? Losing Sara for the same reason as Jason. What was the quickest friendship you ever made? I'm not sure. What is your strongest reason for your opinion on abortion? I guess you have the right to be selfish if you're put at risk. You come first. What would you most like to hear from your father? He's proud of how far I've come. What one natural thing would you most like to see? Maybe a volcano erupt from a safe distance. What has been the single most important influence on your life? The breakup. What is the most worthy cause on earth? Seeing all life as equal and actually acting on that. Caring for one another. What would you most easily be driven to kill for? Sara's safety.
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