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hailene · 4 years

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Perfect Imperfection (3)

Perfect Imperfection| part three (final)

Characters: Jaemin x female lead, Chenle x female lead (the girl will go by the name of Aeri)

Genre: fluff, angst, writer!au, highschool!au

Word count: 5.9 K

Summary: Aeri is a the teenager who writes. Finding inspiration in anything surrounds her, her ideas go wild once she meets the perfect character, Na Jaemin. As a writer becomes obsessive with their favourite character, Aeri grows a weird passion for the bright boy. However, she's so focused on painting Jaemin as perfectly as possible, that she ignores the furry of fiery hair that takes her to night walks and shows her secret places around the town. Despite knowing everything, she forgets that playing with fire means getting burnt. And that sometimes, when we remember to stop, it's too late.

part one 》part two 》part three

There is one thing I might never understand about Zhong Chenle: how even though I am used to analyzing people in silence and figuring out by myself which type of character they are in this big story called life, I haven't figured out who he really is, despite the fact that I've known him for a while now.

And this confusion sticks with me even as he leads me back in the coffee shop we left a few minutes ago.

"Why are we here again?" I ask as he gestures me to sit at the same table, near the window.

I do so, moving quite slowly and trying to figure out why he's doing this.

"I'm sorry." He says but his face didn't look as sorrowful as his words.

"Maybe." I wave him off, slightly annoyed at the memory of his words.

"But," he continues "as the lucky soul who got to peek through your notebook, I must let you know stuff."

I look at him, my eyebrows furrowed in both annoyance and confusion.

"Such as?"

"Such as the fact that you're being obvious and the only reason why the others haven't figured out you have something for Jaemin is because they're close to both of you. It's easy for me though." He shrugs.

"No, the only reason why you know that is because you read it." I snap but he looks unfazed.

He blinks a few times as if I was shooting bullets at him but he was melting them all.

"Why Jaemin?" He asks and I look at him for quite a few seconds before saying:

"You're unbelievable... thought you've figured out I never let anybody ever get in my business when it comes to writing."

He shrugs again.

"I have," he says "but I think I might help you."

"I don't need your help, Chenle." I say but my voice comes out softer than I wanted it to.

"Maybe." He smiles. "But if you're only ever going to write Jaemin's portrayal, you won't ever get a story done... stories need action, right?"

I don't say anything, too annoyed at his control over the situation to come up with any kind of witty remark.

"He needs to make you feel in some certain way for you to be able to write about him... those shivers that you feel whenever he smiles at you are far from enough, honey."

I frown at the last word but as I let my brain process the information, I realize that deep down, he's right. All I have been doing has been writing about Jaemin and creating fake scenarios in my head that never seemed to actually be good enough to be written.

"So what do you suggest?" I ask trying to sound uninterested.

He smiles and I realize I didn't sound enough uninterested.

"Well, we can start with his dark-like-night coffee," he says "so you can get in the mood, you know?"

***

Weeks and months pass like this, my encounters with Chenle being more and more frequent, to the point Hyuck asked me if there was something going on between us. There wasn't. Little did everybody know how big of a help Chenle was to me in writing about the story of Jaemin's character. He was telling me stuff that the older boy was saying at the basketball trainments and little gestures of his, but he was also discretely pinching me whenever my starring was too obvious while we hung out together. The other day, we exchanged notes during class and I was trying so hard to contain my laughter as I was really close to getting detention. He's also made a habit out of sending me memes at ungodly hours, ruining my sleeping schedule, but they were so funny that I couldn't regret it.

Walking out of school, I bump into somebody taller than me, making me slightly stumble backwards.

"I'm so sor-... Jaemin?" I say as I look at the hazelnut-haired boy who looked just as surprised as I was.

We haven't had the chance to see each other in a while and I was genuinely happy to see him now, my heart jumping in my chest, like a bird in a cage. We end up going for coffee as it was almost weekend and none of us had too many assignments to do. We order the usual, hot chocolate for me and iced americano with 2.5 extra shots of espresso for Jaemin- drink which, by the way, tasted even more bitter than it looked like.

We chat for a while, more like making conversation than actually talking about important things, maybe that was also because I was too aware of his presence and of the way the warm lights in the coffee shop made his eyes sparkle.

"Aeri, there's something I wanted to ask you." He says at some point. "I've been thinking about this and I think you're the perfect person to ask for help from... that, of course, if you want to."

"Go ahead." I say, gesturing him to say whatever he has to say.

He shifts a bit in his seat, something a bit unusual for Jaemin, but I let it slide.

"My mom is having this fancy relatives and close friends reunion at our house next weekend and she asked me to bring a friend... she meant to bring my girlfriend, but since I don't have one..."

"So you want me to be your fake girlfriend for a day?" I ask, a bit taken aback by his idea.

He gives me one of his charming smiles and I mentally curse at him for being so annoyingly attractive and for making my heart flutter this much.

"Uh... yeah." He says. "But it's completely fine if you don't want to, it's a stupid idea anyway, I should've-..."

"I'll do it." I say, avoiding my gaze. His mouth goes slightly agape but he slightly shakes his head, in order to get back to his senses.

"Have you just said you...?"

I chuckle my anxiety away.

"Yeah, it's not big deal anyway." I smile.

It is, actually. A huge deal.

"That's... that's great!" He smiles, his face lighting up once again. "I can't thank you enough, Aeri."

"Nah, that's alright." I smile. "So, how fancy should I dress?"

***

A fun fair was the last place I expected we'd go to when Chenle texted me he'd pick me up in 10 minutes. Yet here we were, my notebook stuffed in my bag alongside some pens and a bottle of water. I didn't really like this kind of places but I didn't want to let Chenle know it, he seemed too excited and for once, I didn't want to ruin that.

After a few rides on Chenle's favourite machines, he gets us a double sized cotton candy, both of us deciding it was time to simply sit on a bench and catch our breath. I open my notebook and write down a few words about how fascinated the roller coaster rides made me feel but how I regret screaming the whole time because now my throat was sore. It wasn't that bad. However, I was far from enjoying this whole thing as much as Chenle. The sparks in his eyes seemed to shine even brighter than the colourful neon lights in the amusement park and that was such a pretty sight to see.

"So," he begins, stuffing a piece of pink cotton candy in his mouth "how do you feel?"

I shrug as I write some words in my notebook.

"I don't really know, I think the last ride has brainwashed me." I say and he laughs, some people walking by turning their heads towards the fiery-haired boy.

Because even his laugh was brighter than the whole park.

"Such a shame." He shakes his head. "Did you like it though?"

"Enough much to make me write some pretty cool stuff in here." I say pointing towards my notebook.

He smiles fondly and I feel sparkles of happiness fluttering in my chest at the sight of his bright smile. I should've grown used to it by now, I get to see it every time he takes me places, it's like he's my personal guide (even though the furthest we've been was some opening in the close proximity of our town) and he enjoys his job so much. But I can't seem to get used to how happy these trips make me feel. I note down some words, slowly drifting away from the reality surrounding me. However, Chenle's words make their way to me, making me flinch slightly.

"Have you decided on his name?" He asks and I smile.

"Yeah," I answer "Jem... it's pretty much short from Jaemin but you can also take it as 'gem' which makes me think of bright lights and sparkles and... basically Jaemin..."

A small smile makes its way up to my lifs as I lower my head, as if trying to hide from Chenle, but there was nothing to hide anymore.

"That's a nice idea." I hear him saying. "I guess it can work."

I nod.

"Thanks... you know, you're really helping me a lot in all of this."

It's his turn to nod, with a sweet smile plastered on his lips.

"Yeah," he whispers after I no longer pay attention to him "I guess I am."

***

"You did what?"

"I know you've heard it from the first time and I would sincerely appreciate if you guys stopped acting like deaf grandpas." I say folding my arms over my chest. "Plus it's not such a big deal."

"Yeah, it's only for a day." Yeji adds from the other corner of the room.

"Wait, you knew?" Jeno asks turning to her but she simply shrugs.

"You're still coming to the study night, right?" Chenle asks and I cam literally feel myself mentally face palming in that moment.

"N-no, Chenle, I'm so so sorry! It's at the same night with Jaemin's..."

"That's okay." He says simply and for a while, the thought that he's not mad soothes me.

Chenle is never mad.

"You guys are acting all shocked when the poor girl is meeting Nana's family and she has nothing to wear." Yeji rolls her eyes and I chuckle, despair clearly written across Jeno's face.

"Please don't tell me-"

"Hell yeah, we're going shopping." Yeji smiles devilishly and I can basically see Jeno's soul leaving his body like in the cartoons.

"And you guys are coming." I add, looking at Jeno, Chenle and Renjun, all of them looking devastated by the flash news that we're going to the mall.

"Actually... I can't, I have something else to do for the rest of the day... " Chenle says.

"Oh no, Zhong, you're not running away." Yeji says standing up but he smiles and for a second, I see a dash of exhaustion on his face.

But Chenle is never exhausted.

"It's not like that, Yeji. I'm sorry, I'll see you guys, later."

And with that, he leaves the gym, silence floating in the air for a few seconds, maybe because none of us has ever seen Chenle being so serious. So unlike his usual self.

And then it clicks to me. Chenle is never mad. He is silent. And when Zhong Chenle is silent, the end of the world might as well be close.

***

The fancy party was far from being what I had expected, the atmosphere was far from being as dense as I'd thought it would be. Jaemin's mom was a sweetheart and her eyes sparkled with happiness when she saw me, almost the same way as Jaemin's eyes light up when he's excited about something. The other guests were actually really nice and so unlike the gossip-lover kind of old people that I had imagined.

One of mrs. Na's friends excused herself in order to answer a call while we were talking about the career as a novelist (fun fact: she was miss Kang's aunt and she seemed to share the passion for writing with her niece) and Jaemin suddenly showed up near me, making me slightly flinch.

"Everything alright?" He asks and I nod with a genuine smile on my face.

"To be honest I didn't really expect to enjoy this evening so much." I say.

He smiles and looks at me with his warm glimmering eyes and for a second time seems to stop and the background music, the chatter and the laughter seem to fade away.

"Aw look at them, they're so cute together!" I hear the lady I was talking to earlier saying.

Another woman which I recognize as being Jaemin's grandmother stares at us in awe and I feel my cheeks heating up. I smile awkwardly as I feel Jaemin's hand sneaking up over my shoulders and pulling me closer to him, breath hitching in my throat.

"Yeah, she's the cutest." He says smiling and I slowly lift my head to look at him, searching for any kind of humour on his face.

Did he really say that? Or was I dreaming?

He looks down at my face and the closeness of our faces makes my eyes slightly widen. Maybe he figures it out, because a sweet grin makes its way up to his lips and I feel my cheeks getting hot once again.

"Excuse us for a second..." Jaemin says without taking his eyes off me and pulls me by my left wrist towards the backyard of his house.

We leave the ladies chuckling and giving each other suggestive looks and honestly, I wasn't so sure how I was feeling about that. Once we arrive in the backyard, he lets go of my wrist and looks at me with the same sweet smile that made my knees turn to jelly a few minutes ago. However, I decide to gather up my courage and stand tall because my walls couldn't be broken down so easy, so fast. I needed my cover to be able to write about him. I needed to keep myself in the position of the observer. I couldn't step in the action or things could've gone bad.

"What was that about?" I ask crossing my arms over my chest.

His smile widens as he steps closer to me.

"What did you want it to be?" He asks in a lower tone and my eyes slightly widen again.

This is not Jem. Jem would never act like this.

He chuckles at the sight of my face.

"Nothing, don't worry, Aeri." He says smiling. "There's somebody I don't wanna hurt."

"Whom?" I ask confused.

His smile fades slightly, a glint of surprise crossing his face.

"Somebody who cares deeply about you." He smiles.

I shake my head after my brain proceeds his words.

"No way, Jem, Jeno is my best friend-..."

"I wasn't talking about him." He still smiles, despite the seriousness of the conversation and I can't help but mentally curse at him for making me feel so torn.

Who could possibly care about me so deeply that me and Jaemin being a thing could hurt them?

"Why did you bring me here?" His smile widens once again and he looks at the ground for a second, before looking into my eyes once again.

"To thank you. Like really thank you, if you weren't here, I would probably be sitting in the living room and listening to my uncle's stories about his first car."

I laugh.

"That's alright, I'll always be here if you need anything." I smile.

He shakes his head.

"You shouldn't." He says with a tint of bitterness in his voice.

"Why is that?" I ask.

He looks at me for a few seconds, giving me enough time to admire his perfect features.

"Children, we're serving the cake now!" Jaemin's mom says from behind us and I flinch in surprise.

"We're coming!" Jaemin gestures her and I look at him, disappointed that I might never get my answer.

Sensing that, he simply smiles again.

"Take care of yourself, Aeri."

He says before we get in the house once again.

***

"It was insane. Honestly. I didn't know he would be so similar to the way I created Jem. It was ethereal, the way he looked screamed prince, I swear..." I say as I lay tiredly in my bed, a long sigh leaving my mouth. "And his mom was a total sweetheart, her cooking skills were incredible, for real. I wonder if Jaemin is as good at cooking as his mother. That would certainly be a huge plus to his character to be honest."

The boy sitting on my desk chair doesn't say anything and I roll in my bed to look at him.

"Don't you think so?" I ask as I hug one of my pillows.

The fiery-haired boy looks at me, his eyes lacking the usual glint of happiness that they always seemed to hold. Maybe he was tired after a day of school, as I was too.

"I guess." He sighs. "If it was good enough to make you write, that's nice."

"Yeah, it was... but like, it was more than enough," I say. "I didn't feel like I was playing a role, I felt like I belonged there."

"Don't lose yourself in the story, Aeri." He says on a concerned tone and I sit in my bed, legs crossed, still holding my pillow.

"I won't, but this..." I begin "this is no longer a story, Chenle, this is my reality, Jaemin might-..."

"No, Jem might, Aeri... not Jaemin." He says while standing up. "You have been so obsessed with writing about Jaemin that you forgot which version is real."

"I... didn't forget, what are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about the fact that you should probably stop thinking about Jaemin as your superhero, because he's not Jem." He sighs.

"But-..."

"There is nothing dramatic about Jaemin for you to romanticize, okay?" He says, with a glint of exhaustion in his eyes.

"I'm not romanticizing anything, just because I like Jaemin, it doesn't mean I-..." I stop in midsentence when I realize what I've just said.

Despite the fact that I should be comfortable around Chenle, somehow this topic seems sensitive and definitely not a good choice to talk about now.

"You're not in love with Jaemin, Aeri." He says with bitterness. "You're in love with a lie."

I frown and stand up, crossing arms over my chest.

"And you're saying this because you know so much about how love works." I snap back and he simply shrugs, picking up his back-pack.

"Not your problem." He mutters.

"Hey... hey, I thought you'd at least understand if I told you I had feelings for Jaemin!" I say, feeling rage taking over me at the sudden change in his behavior.

Chenle never rises his voice. Chenle is never grumpy. Chenle is never exhausted. When he is mad, he is silent. Or ignorant. He stops in his tracks and for a second I feel like I might've said the wrong thing, which has never happened to me before around him.

"You thought wrong." He says. "I don't understand you at all."

"Do you really think-..." But before I can finish my question, Chenle leaves my room with big steps, without paying attention to my words.

"Chenle, wait-..." I run after him but before I can catch up, I hear the entrance door slamming and I know he's already gone.

I scream in frustration, as if it could bring him back. He won't come back, I know that for some reason. However, I can't help but be bothered by what has just happened between us because it felt unfair to me. He was unfair to me. He was supposed to support me in this, not tell me what I feel and what I don't.

And maybe there was something more than frustration, something that I didn't want to admit to myself, because I simply didn't want to feel like a bitch, something that made me fall on my knees and cry after my throat went dry from so much screaming. It felt like I'd lost Chenle. But it felt like I had lost a part of myself as well.

***

A few weeks have passed and to be honest, the one I've spent my time the most with has been Donghyuck. Jeno was busy with Yeji since they were (finally) officially dating, Renjun was traveling somewhere in Europe for a school exchange and there was no way I could talk to Chenle. I simply couldn't. Jaemin's mom invited me over for dinner tonight and I felt terrible that I had to decline. It wasn't that I didn't want to go, it was just that I couldn't bring myself to do it, I was feeling guilty for some reason.

That's why I asked Jaemin to meet me after classes today.

"I'm so sorry." I say, looking at the steaming hot chocolate in front of me.

"Don't worry about it." Jaemin smiles. "Mom will understand, that's literally the last thing you should be thinking about now."

I sigh and take a sip from my hot chocolate, hissing when it burns my tongue.

"Are you okay?" I hear Jaemin asking and I wave it off.

"It's just a burn, not even that bad." I mutter.

He chuckles with a spark of bitterness, only making my feeling of guilt grow.

"I wasn't talking about that." He smiles. "I was talking about how you feel."

I look at him, trying to ignore the pang in my chest and the constant feeling that I'm suffocating. I should be alright, I should be happy that I get to hang out with Jaemin. So why am I not?

"Jaemin, why... why did you say that I shouldn't be there for you?" I ask and his smile doesn't even fade.

"Because -..." He pauses and sighs, thinking.

"I... like you." I say out of the blue and I avoid my gaze, without necessarily waiting for a response. "Or at least, that's what... I think..."

I hear him sighing and I look at him once again.

"My mom used to tell me" he begins "that she fell in love with dad because he made her feel alive." He smiles and averts his gaze, looking out of the window of the café for a few seconds.

Then, he looks at me again.

"That's the definition that I've had about love my whole life... and I've started to believe in it more and more lately. But Aeri..."

He gives me one of his sweet smiles, but this time, it is filled with concern.

"...I don't think I'm the one who makes you feel alive."

And that was when I realized that truly, he was not. Because I wasn't sad that I'd been turned down.

I was thankful.

***

Today was the first day of judging for the writing contest and I was disappointed to see that none of the works that I've been given to judge was even close to my expectations. Renjun had warned me that none of the contestants would come close to my talent, but I laughed it off, asking him to stop with the sweet talk. My expectations weren't high, they were decent, but nothing seemed to get me interested. Nothing seemed to make me want to read further and so the whole time felt dull to me.

"I'm seriously going to hit you with a basketball if you keep zoning out any longer." I hear Hyuck saying and I sigh.

"Sorry, I was just... thinking." I say.

"Yeah, I know, the same way you have been doing for the past 16 days, 12 hours and... almost 37 minutes." He says checking his smartwatch.

I roll my eyes and sigh once again.

"I have to finish marking the essays for the writing contest by Thursday and I'm so not in the mood for that." I mutter closing my eyes in exhaustion.

I have been unable to write anything worth reading ever since I fought with Chenle and somehow, everything I've been doing ever since then feels wrong and incomplete. All I can do is focus on judging for the writing contest, even though I couldn't find a real motivation for that anymore either.

"Aeri?" I turn my head to my right and see miss Kang looking at me with her warm smile.

She was wearing a blue silk dress, her dark hair falling nicely in waves on her shoulders. Miss Kang was one of the nicest people I'd ever met and one of the only people ever who could understand my passion for writing. That was one of the reasons why I loved her.

"Oh, hello, miss!" I say standing up from my desk, slightly stumbling on my feet.

"Careful there." She chuckles. "Okay so I believe you're close to finishing your marking these days, but I wanted to show you this essay that came in my set. I'm not pressuring you or anything, I just you to mark this one too. I guess you'll figure out why I'm asking you to do this too. Is that alright with you?" She asks handing me a paper, probably a copy of the essay she has mentioned.

"Of course." I nod, taking the paper.

"That's great." She says smiling widely. "I'll see you later!"

She leaves the class as smoothly as she has entered and as soon as she does that, Donghyuck tries to snatch the paper from my hands.

"No way, nobody is reading these outside the judges, sweetie." I tell him and he rolls his eyes in annoyance.

"Fine, dumbass, as you say..."

The curiosity makes me unable to wait until I get home so after my English class, I take the paper from my backpack and unfold it, taking in the amount of words scribbled on the paper, with a handwriting that felt awfully familiar to me.

"If we run fast enough, maybe time won't be able to catch up with us..."

I lose myself in the words of the essay, being weirdly intrigued by every single line, unlike anything that I had read before while judging.

"...there are so many ways we can see the world and we don't even need to choose one, everyday is a new chance to rewrite it all from a new point of view. We can be whatever we want to be..."

It was speaking to me, weirdly, it felt like it was written for me, I could feel it on a different level and that was scaring me more than anything. Every word, every line, every feeling put on this paper, it all felt familiar. As if I've experienced it too.

"...but after all, we're just going on roller coaster rides, where lights blend and everything shines, where problems fade and we almost lose ourselves. That's alright- because even though the thrill will wash away her memory of me, her eyes will still sparkle. And that's enough, because like that, even time would stop to admire her beauty."

I stare at the piece of paper in my shaking hands, trying to run away from the realization that was becoming clearer and clearer in my head. The handwriting, the lines, the way all the words seemed to be made to be put together like that. It was perfect. But the essay was talking about so much imperfections that lives, our lives had in common. It was a twisted combination of feelings and memories and wild nights spent in funfairs and aquariums, in cafes and libraries, nowhere and everywhere at the same time.

I stand up, taking my back-pack and heading home. I had to finish marking essays and I had to do that now.

***

"Miss, I am sorry, but I can't grade this essay." I say showing miss Kang the paper she gave me a few days ago.

She smiles and not even the cold lights from the empty classroom we were in could take her warmth away.

"I won't ask why. I was actually more curious about your opinion on it, compared to the rest of the essays."

I look at her in exasperation, then at the damned piece of paper.

"It's good.... Actually, no, it's..." I sigh "It's more than good, it's amazing, it speaks so fluently and it shows so many feelings that the reader might even feel like part of it all, it takes you in, casting a spell on your mind and when you finish it, it spits you back to the reality and it just... breaks your heart..." I say, my voice cracking at the end, but miss Kang chooses to ignore it, nodding in agreement instead.

"I asked you to read this because the other judges and I have been thinking to give this essay the first place." She explains. "So what do you think?"

I feel tears stinging my eyes. Experiences that I have felt, things I have been through, put on paper, are getting the first place.

"I-I guess that's the best choice..."

"Aeri?"

I look at her and she smiles sadly.

"Do you know the other reason why I asked you to read this?" She asks softly and I shake my head. "It's because... I saw a small part of you in it, a tint of your writing style in it, a spark of your aura. Something... something that made me believe you'd connect with this better than anybody."

I turn my head away in order to wipe my tears away. The pain in my chest was almost suffocating and all I wanted to do was run home and cry my eyes dry under a blanket.

"I think I was right." She says and I sniff slightly, trying to ignore the effect that the essay has had over me.

And it wasn't just the essay. It was its owner as well.

I find myself walking towards the basketball pitch, hoping that I could find whoever I was looking for. If I was in love with Jaemin, my heart wouldn't hurt this much right now. If I had feelings for anybody else, I wouldn't feel like somebody ripped my chest open. How could I be wrong, how could I possibly be wrong, when I am so used to analyzing everybody around me and foresee all the possible cases? How could I lie to myself like this?

A basket ball rolls down to my feet and I pick it up, looking in front of me, only to be met with the sight of a mess of a fiery hair, staring back at me. I feel tears stinging my eyes and I step towards him, leaving only two steps between him and I. After inhaling deeply, I throw him the ball and he catches it perfectly, with his incontestable basketball skills. He dribbles it a few times and I could've sworn my heart was beating almost as loud as the thumps of the ball.

"Why did you write that?" I ask silently, trying to look into his eyes.

He wasn't confused. He knew all too well what I was talking about and that only made more tears gather behind my eyes. I knew I couldn't be wrong. Not this time. Not regarding this.

"I felt like it." He answers, shrugging and I feel like screaming, frustrated at the fact that he can control his emotions so well, unlike me.

"You felt like it? You f-felt like it, Chenle?" I let out a small whimper. "You wrote about all of that just because you felt like it?"

He shrugs and I take a deep breath, trying to calm myself. I was the wrong one and still I was the one asking for explanation from him when it should be the other way.

"I... Miss Kang asked me to read your essay because she thought it's the best one out of the whole competition. She asked me to grade it. I... I couldn't." I sigh. "Maybe I'm selfish to find myself in it so much but... I do? All the late night walks and evenings spent in fun fairs or reading comics on the floor of the library... we d-did that, didn't we? We did all of those, hell we did much more... w-why couldn't I understand earlier..."

"You confessed to Jaemin." He speaks and my eyes widen.

Of course Jaemin told him.

"There was... nothing to confess." I say softly. "I thought I had feelings for him, but... I guess you were right. It has never been him."

He looks at me and sighs, before diverting his gaze.

"Look, Aeri, it's really not my business, I shouldn't have said those things,but..." He sighs, shaking his head. "Thank you for reading my essay-..."

"Chenle!"

He looks at me, a little bit startled by my loud voice.

"A-All this time..." I start "it has been you." I sniff. "Not Jaemin, not Jem, not any other imaginary prince charming, not anybody else. It has always been just you. You... make me feel so happy and... and alive... I have always taken you for granted and realized how important you were to me just after you left... B-Because I'm freaking stupid a-and... all I know is to create scenarios in my head and drown in them until I can no longer tell what's fantasy and what's real."

He looks at me but I can't figure out his expression because of the amount of tears in my eyes.

"I am s-so sorry, Chenle." I try to say but my voice comes out as a whisper. “You have all t-the rights to hate m-me...”

"I wrote that because you inspire me to always do better and never give up on my dreams, you... you work so hard for yours and you..." he lets out a heavy breath. "You make me feel. Everything. I think... that's how I could write that essay, I was thinking about you the whole time. All the feelings that I put in it... you made me feel them. Aeri..."

I look at him, quickly wiping the tears that were rolling on my cheeks already.

"I'm in love with you."

I feel myself taking a deep breath and letting out the sobs that I have swallowed for so long. I feel two arms engulfing me into a warm hug and the familiar scent of soap and mint taking over my senses. I bury my head in Chenle's chest as he caresses my back gently as if I was a frightened cat. I wasn't far from being one though.

"Is it that bad?" He asks gently and I chuckle but it comes out more as a chocked sob and Chenle laughs.

Loud, bright, genuinely. Exactly how I love him.

"Okay gross, you're ruining his T-shirt, crybaby." I hear Hyuck saying behind me and my friends' laughter following after.

"You're next, fucker!" I say in a dry voice and Chenle laughs once again.

He was not perfect. He was far from being perfect. But somehow all the imperfections that were part of him made him be perfect in my eyes. He was more than what I deserved to get and I was more than thankful to the heavens for dragging him into my life. I had always tried to be perfect, to write, to act, to speak perfectly. But he has showed me that there's beauty in imperfection. There is perfection in imperfection.

And he is the living proof for that.

~The End~

A/N: It’s been SO long, I am so sorry! Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this lil story. Thank you so much for reading it, it really means a lot to me!♥ I would like to write short stories like this one in the future as well, what would you guys want to read about?

hailene x

#nct fanfic #NCT #nctdream #nct angst #jaemin #chenle #Jeno #renjun #JISUNG #kpop #highschool #haechan #donghyuck #fanfiction #angst #writer #au

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hyucktarts · 4 years

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[5:46 pm]

I don’t know how to tell you about this, Jeno.

You’ve been occupying all my conscious, waking thoughts, and it would probably be better if I don’t start about the subconscious ones or my dreams. Dreams, huh? They say it’s a fundamental right of humans to be able to dream. How am I an exception then ? Why am I an exception then ? Is it because I’m the embodiment of the term “social stigma” ? Is it because I’m in love with something I can’t ever have ? Is it even love anymore ? Isn’t it what psychiatrists call limerence ?

Why did it have to be me, huh ? Why did that steel claw with spikes have to grasp my heart, the only organ which I actually call mine ? Why did it have to squeeze so hard that all the blood being pumped stopped with time, rose up in a plethora of red minuscules and abruptly spilt, tainting my face and limbs, taunting my process of thoughts and whatever bit of hope I was left with?

That was when I knew, isn’t it ? I knew who was meant for pain. Pain is a strange thing. a twisted, skeletal tree clawing its way up from the fertile, glimmering grass and marring the sky. It takes your breath away and you can feel it. But wasn’t this what I wanted anyway? This hopelessness, this destruction, this absolute repugnance I could only feel about my own self, about this empty shell pinned to innumerable and inexplicably fast thoughts. Yes, I carry nebulas in my veins and black holes in my lungs, which will never quite go back to the way they once were.

I’m destroying myself.

I’m destroying myself every time my eyes wander over to where you’re sitting, with your annoyingly handsome face and your cerulean, buttery, veiny hands and those half-crescents under your perfectly shaped eyebrows and that tiny yet prominent star right next to them and the regal slope of your nose and your fucking, pink, chapped lips.

I’m destroying myself when I hear the sound of your laugh, like fresh spring water on a particularly smouldering day. I’m destroying myself when I realise that it’s not my joke you’re laughing at. It’s not me who can make you laugh like that, like-like you’ve got no damn care for the world. Like it’s your last day on the earth and someone’s holding a gun to the back of your head, compelling you to laugh like that, like a fucking celestial being.

I’m destroying myself every time my mind goes blank, forgetting everything around me just to focus on you, just so I can spend every waking minute of my day staring at my universe. My cosmos. Which doesn’t need any of the most beautiful constellations, nor the big moon or the bright sun. My cosmos revolves around you, Jeno. My cosmos revolves around the piece of art which is your existence.

You, your smile, your laugh, and you.

I’m destroying myself whenever I see you with her.

You two, a disgusting picture. You wrap your hands around her waist, pulling her closer to you, and kiss the top of her head. She beams at you, her eyes conveying whatever she feels for you. I don’t blame her.

But you? But you, Jeno?

Why do you stare at her as if she’s the one who makes the world go round? Why do you stare at her, when she’s not looking, with sparkling eyes, as if she’s hung all the stars in the sky? Why do you look at her as if she was the one who planned your twentieth birthday and had stayed up watching a horrible movie on Netflix despite having an excruciating headache, just so she could be the first one to wish you at midnight? Why do you stare at her as if she was the one who’d bought you your first kitten, and your second, and your third ? Why do you stare at her as if she was the one who’d held you on that fateful night, when you’d lost all control over yourself, shaking and quivering, streams of tears running down your red cheeks ? Why do you stare at her as if she is the one who has been suppressing her eleven-years of abhorrent feelings for you, ever since you’d spoken out about hating people like me ?

Can you give me an answer Jeno? Or am I just too disgusting to deserve an explanatory message?

I hate you Lee Jeno.

I hate your blinding smile and your crude beauty, I hate your hands and arms and the way they make me feel safer when I’m enclosed within them. I hate your warm chest and gentle words and how you just know when and why what to say. I hate your nose which makes me want to boop mine with it, and your philtrum, giving way to your lips and the way everything else gets blurry when you open them to speak. I hate your deep voice and the shivers it sends down my spine, and the lewd noises I might just make because of it, if I didn’t have the highest level of self-control ever seen in a human being. I hate everything about you, from your prejudices to your pride, but most of all-

I despise the way you make me feel. I hate losing control and it seems like in this risky game of push-and-pull with life and the alluring thoughts about death, you are the only one who has proved to be the creator the biggest psychosomatic problem I’ve ever faced.

I have nothing left to lose, Jeno, which is why I’m going to leave this under your bed today.

I’m not afraid of the ominous, intangible void manifesting itself in the little corner where my heart should’ve been. I’m simple exhausted now, Jeno.

And so, I’m giving up on this Russian roulette of unrequited love.

- Chenle.

#writers on tumblr #nct #mamamoo #stray kids #seventeen #red velvet #twice #monsta x #nct jeno #chenle #jenle nctdream timestamp unrequitedlove poetry limerence hiraeth

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koalakookie · 4 years

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Angst (Mark Lee x Reader)

{10:04 PM}

Angst Prompt: “It’s Ok, you don’t have to love me back”

You skimmed over the last few words of your essay. You stretched your arms and let out a soft groan. You took a deep breath and pressed the submit button. You waited a few moments and slumped back when you saw the confirmation. You were finally done. You leaned over the your side and reached for your phone. The first thing that you noticed was your lock screen. You smiled as you reminisced about the memory.

It was winter. The sky was inky black but the street lamps lit up the streets perfectly. The trees were covered in a light layer of snow. Everything was perfect, you were unbelievably happy walking next to the love of your life. You and Mark walked in comfortable silence when you felt his hand touch your shoulder. You look at him with a smile and you can see a blush creep onto his cheeks. “Wanna take a picture together?” he asked. You looked at him incredulously. “I mean-, if-, if you want to..i guess,” he stuttered. You smiled as you reached up to poke his cheek, “I would love to, I just didn’t expect my Markie to be so bold,” you said teasingly. He looked away but you could see the traces of a smile.

You pulled out your phone and raised it up to fit the both of you. You both held up piece signs and hearts. As you were snapping pictures, you felt him kiss your cheek. You blushed and looked away. He smiled as you took your phone from your hand. “Aww, my baby looks so cute,” he gushed, poking your cheeks. You looked at the picture and couldn’t help but smile. It was perfect.

Every thing was so perfect back then.

You stared at the lockscreen when a message popped up, distracting you from your trip down memory lane. It was from Mark. You frowned slightly upon reading it.

Y/N, I’m waiting at your lobby, can you come and meet me down here, we need to talk - Mark

You grabbed your coat, phone and keys and ran out the door. You ran the stairs and smiled when you saw him in the lobby. He eyes met yours and dropped down to the ground. Your smile fell off your face. You walked up to him and was about to touch his face, when he moved away. “Let’s talk in the car,” he said softly, turning away. You follow him and sat in the passenger seat of his car. It was warm and you looked out the windows, confused and anxious. It was silent for about twenty minutes, neither you or Mark said a word.

You must have dozed off because when you woke up, Mark was staring out the window, nervously tapping his foot. He noticed that you woke up and took a deep breath. “We’re here,” he said. “What’s going on? Mark, you’re scaring me,” you say softly. His eyes meet yours, his eyes are soft and you can see tears brim in his eyes. You reach up to wipe away the tears but he pushes your hands away softly, “ Let me explain,” Mark starts, “Recently NCT’s debut has been finalized and I’ve been offered a position to be in 2 of the units. Sooman talked to me and told me how I’m really talented and how I’ve been working for so long that I deserve to debut. But he said that he’ll let me debut under one condition.” “Condition?”you ask cautiously. “I have to be single, I’ll be allowed to debut as long as I am not in a relationship,” he says sadly. You felt your heart drop. You started tearing up, Mark head perked up and immediately reached to wipe away your tears but you swatted his hands away. His eyes look back at the ground. “So? What is your decision?” you say, a little part of you praying that he declined. You yell at yourself, how could you ask Mark to put you before his dream. Maybe because you wanted him to love you just as much as you loved him. “I’ve decided that I really want to debut. Y/n, I’m so sorry. You deserve better but I need to debut. This is my dream,” he says, his eyes pleading with yours. You nod. “I understand, I love you. I always have,” you say with a sad smile, “It’s Ok, you don’t have to love me back”. His eyes meet yours and you can see his heart break. “Can we.. at least try and be friends? I need you in my life,” Mark asks. “Mark, I don’t think I can physically commit to being friends with you. Everytime, I look at you, I’m reminded of all the memories we made together. I can’t be near you without wanting to kiss you,” you say. He nods and roughly starts up the car. “Mark, please don’t be angry. I’m sorry,” you say softly. “Don’t say that you’re sorry, the only person who should be apologizing is me. You did nothing wrong, it’s all me and will always be me,” he says quietly.

The rest of the drive home is quiet. You stare out the windows. It reminds you of the night in the park. You pull out you phone and press on the picture of you and Mark. You look at it silently before pressing the delete icon. Your heart aches as you watch the picture disappear. You continue to stare out the window, unaware of Mark’s eyes. His heart shattered watching you delete that picture. That picture was a memory that he cherished so dearly. He looked back at the road, silently begging his heart to stop aching.

As you reached your home, You got of the car slowly. Mark walked you up to the door. You were about to walk in when you felt him grip your wrist. “I know that I’m asking for a lot but can i hug you one last time?” he asks. You nod and feel him pull you into a tight hug. You fell his warm breath fall onto a sensitive patch of your neck. You shuddered slightly. You hug his torso tightly. You both take in each others’ scent one last time. He smiles as he pulls away. He brushes some hair away form your face and tucks it behind your ear. “You really are so pretty and I have no clue how I got you for myself,” he smiles, “I’m truly sorry for all of this but if you ever want to talk as friends you can always call me”. You nod as you turn away to enter your house. You look back and see that his eyes are still on you. You smile and wave goodbye. He smiles back sadly.

Goodbye, that word, broke both of your hearts.

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Author’s note: hihi! I know that i write a lot of angst. Its’ cause i’m a very sad person. sorry if this is getting very boring for you. please feel free to request any genre. I will try my best. Once, again thank you for supporting me and my account. I really appreciate it :)

#angst #nctangts #mark #marklee #nctmark #angstsprompt #prompt #nct #nctdream #nct127 #nctu #superm #sorry if this is bad #i tried #but i am clearly not a good writer #:(

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daintyjaem · 4 years

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hi babes ♡

hi babes, PLEASEEE gives me suggestions for AUs or fics/just story ideas. I’ve been wanting to get into writing and Wattpad isn’t the place to do that lol. Please use my submissions page to suggest something as well as join the tag list for upcoming stories! Some will be short stories, some may be chapters/parts (please request this as well).

As of right now, ALL of you will be new, so if you follow, welcome and thank you so much for joining!

In the future, if you’re returning, welcome back and thank you so much more for returning! ♡

I’ll try my best!

Sincerely,

Dae ♡

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fanfictown-blog · 6 years

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Haechan x reader (fluff)

Requested by @redhearthyuck (thank you for requesting lovely ^^, and I hope you like it)

‘Y/N-ah…’ You hear him call out, and decide to ignore it as you lie in bed with your eyes shut tight in the dark room, the duvet wrapped around you.

‘Are you asleep?’ He asks; the bed sinks slightly as he lies on it next to you, and taps you on the shoulder.

'Y/N-ah…’ He repeats, sounding slightly annoyed this time. 'I’m here now, wake up!’

You don’t respond, and you feel his fingers on the side of your waist, and you flinch very slightly.

'Shit.’ You think to yourself as he mumbles a quiet 'aha’; and before you know it, his hands are running up and down your body, and you are left helpless, a laughing mess.

'Ok, ok, I’m not asleep, stop!!’ You whine between fits of laughter, and he laughs.

'Haha okay jagi~’ He grins, wrapping his arm around you as you turn to face him, still laughing.

'I thought you said you were going to be out till 11?’ You ask, glancing at the clock; the time is 8:30.

'Well, I was supposed to… but there are some exceptions sometimes aren’t there?’ He starts, then grins. 'Like your birthday?’

You feel your eyes widen, and you sit up immediately.

'I thought you forgot!’

'Forget?’ He echoes, 'Ya, I’m not that bad a boyfriend!’

You giggle. 'You sure?’

'Positive.’

'Well then-’ He doesn’t let you continue as he puts his finger against your lips.

'Shh, listen to me okay?’ He says, his eyes wide, and you nod.

'Stand up, and close your eyes.’

'What?’

'Ya, no questions. Just stand up, and close your eyes.’

'Okay…’ You do as you are told, slightly confused as to what this boy is going to do.

You feel both his hands gently hold yours and his feet move in sync with yours as he guides you away from the bedroom.

'Okay, now open your eyes.’

You stare into the dark living room; there’s nothing different? You look at him questioningly, and he bursts out laughing.

'Okay, okay, I’m sorry that was a joke.’

'YA! YOU DID FORGET DIDN’T YOU?’ You shout at him, grabbing the nearest cushion you can find and throwing it at him. He catches it and looks out from behind it.

'You shouldn’t have done that, Y/N-ah~’ He had a mischievous smile on his face.

'Oh no.’ You think to yourself, but before you can run, he has you wrapped tight in his arms.

‘Ya, let go…’ You whine, pouting, and he laughs.

‘I’m never going to let you go.’ He says, his voice softening. ‘Well, not until you see what I’ve got for you.’

You sigh and turn around to face him, his arms still around you.

‘Ya Donghyuk… have you actually got me something? Or not.’

‘Uh, well…’ He smiles, and puts his hand in his pocket; he pulls out a long chain, with a heart-shaped pendant on it. ‘I got you this.’

You hold the pendant gently, looking at it; it’s so beautiful, with the red diamond-like stone in the middle and the silver bordering, studded with small diamonds.

‘It…it’s beautiful…’ Your voice is a whisper now as you continue admiring your present, and look up at him. ‘Thank you…’

He grins, and kisses you on the forehead. ‘I’m glad you like it. Now.. how about we go out to get dinner, hm?’

You nod, smiling. ‘Sure.’

#haechan #donghyuk #nct #nctdream #fanfic #oneshot #kpop #cute #birthday #gift #love #korea #nct127 #nctu #nct writers

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nctnews · 2 years

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NCT related blogs pt. 1

directory: 👾- gifs & gfx creators; 📝 - writers; 🖌 - fan arts creators; 🔗 - multifandom; ⏰ - inactive; 🔞 - nsfw; 🤷🏽‍♀️ - other; 🤝 - networks; 🖼 - pics

Additions to this list are always welcome!

#nct blogs recs #admin post

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princekunge · 4 years

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The Singer - A Hendery x Reader AU PART 20

Hendery x Reader

Social Media!AU/College!AU

Intro | Part 19 | Part 20 | Part 21

The Hendery edit was made by the lovely @kyukyuhunnie who I refused to tell why I asked them to make it 🙂

Tag: @butter-not-icecream @junglewoos @neocrackheadtendencies @elvencantation @neoahga-mom @aboutsunday @artemiss-moonchild @sideeffectsofchan @coconut-dreamz @kpop-in-new-albion @bat-shark-repellant @jisungsquirrelhabits @kyukyuhunnie @radiorenjun @yellow-wxve @cowward @vitaminhyunjin @anothermessedupbitch @bestof99s @lokideadontheinside @wonwoosimp @sleepless-daily @jaeminsorbit @utopiakys @ahnneyong @riddikuluslee @ta3ilmoon @fullyjeno @realtrashh @euphorihan @hyucksong @just-a-sad-writer @yayhei @beahyuna @hoshitaro @nctdream-boat @jaeshatshop

#the singer #hendery x reader #wayv x reader #nct x reader #hendery scenarios

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demwhore · 4 years

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Rocketeer (N.YT)

TEASER!

Pairing: Jaeger Pilot! Yuta & Female Reader

featuring some nct and wayv members

Jaeger! au | Pacific Rim! au

Description: It takes high courage to ride a Jaeger and to kill a Kaiju.

Or: Yuta deadpanned, “I’m a fucking Jaeger pilot. That is something I should boast about.”

words ➙ tba

genre ➙ sci-fi, angst, romance, action, fantasy, smut

warnings ➙ major character death, graphic description of monsters, physical violence, language, scenes of making out, smut

A/N ➙ I am deeply inspired by the movie, Pacific Rim. However, i made some changes in the plot. This wasn’t proofread, I apologize for some grammatical errors. This took me a while to write but it was worth it. Happy Reading! Kindly reblog and like! <3

P.S ➙ I edited the fic poster using photoshop cs4 and polarr. All credits (pictures used) belong to the perspective owners (sm entertainment & the creators of Pacific Rim) that edit took me ages (please credit me if you wanted to repost the edit, don’t let my efforts go to waste D:) I also created the moodboard (in the teaser), all pictures used are from pinterest. I had to cry blood while editing oml lol, however it was enjoyable and im drooling for yuta pls claim me

Playlist ➙ rocketeer by far east movement, surrender by cash cash, i’m feeling good by michael bublé, pacific rim by ramin djawadi & tom morello

Tags ➙ @shinseobs [hi tiff, ily so much!], @insomni-writing [hi somni, thank you for proofreading the draft, ur the best!], @jaehyunspaghetti [hi bby, i hope u are doing well!], @neocultvretechs [hi my lovely kai, i hope u enjoy my little yuta fic offering to u], @milkinqjungs [love u], @jaextapose [ruth ur the best ;)], and all the yuta stans out there!

Kaiju ( 怪獣, かいじゅう, kaijū) Strange, Giant Beast.

Jaeger (yāɡər, German) Hunter.

“Is this a gift for winning against the Kaijus?”

Yuta murmured, “Ask me to fuck you, and I’ll glady do it.”

You whispered back, “Then do it.”

He responded well; responded to a need he could no longer control. He was driven by lust, passion and determination. Yuta crashed his lips onto yours. Your lips parted on a quiet moan; your hands busy hovering over your boyfriend's body. Instantly, you cling onto him, having his body as your support. Both of your mouths; busy, wild, willing, driven with so much anticipation. Breaths ragged. Darkened eyes. Yuta pressed his body onto you more, you felt giddy; his erection throbbing against your core. Your body vibrated against his; similar with a string plucked with so much force; like a plucked harp. His heart pounded hard against his chest, his hands exploring your body; every curve of you that drives him insane in his room at the Underbase. Your hollows that tormented him. You alone, made him drive to insanity, and he’s living for it. Every cell in your body screamed for only Nakamoto Yuta, your core ached for him, and him alone. Every need Yuta felt was only for you. Only you.

“I missed you.” You whispered the moment he left your mouth to dive into your exposed shoulders. Kissing your clavicles, leaving purple marks every suck he took. Yuta didn’t stop as he marked every exposed column of your throat. You tugged at his dirty blonde locks. Your breast rose and fell against his needy touches. “I missed you so much.”

Being a Jaeger pilot means sacrifice. Being deployed to far bases, away from each other. Fighting off Kaijus as if it’s the end of the fucking world. And the constant feel of fear never leaving both of your systems. Questions running through both of your minds, will you still see Yuta after a mission? Will he still see you? Will both of you survive? The world you both live in is so complicated to the extent; complex. Both of you always believed that the world is as alive as the inhabitants were. There is life everytime you look up at the skies. The celestial body is as alive as humans are. It was really fascinating. That is what both you and Yuta thought when you were both highschoolers; turns out the world has made a whole one-hundred and eighty turn; both of you were looking in the wrong direction. There was no life above but beneath. When alien life dominated the Earth it originated deep down the waters of the Pacific Ocean. Their entryway came from the fissure of the two tectonic plates; Pacific and Southern Plate. A made portal from hell to Earth. The Breach.

Yuta breathed and looked at your eyes. Those tantalizing eyes that never failed to make Yuta in awe. He had seen how those eyes morphed into different emotions. Lust, fear, love, sadness and Yuta loved it, so much. Yuta could still remember the first landing of the Kaiju at his hometown, Osaka. He held your hands, and ran as far as he could bringing you out of the chaos you were in.

He was vulnerable that time, young, not older than fifteen. He heard how loud the roars resonated from the giant beast. He saw how every infrastructure, made meticulously by humans, crumpled under one swing of the Kaiju. Yuta heard every alarm wail around his neighborhood, every shattered glass, every startled cry, including yours. That is the time Yuta swore, to fight off to the last of his breath, to protect you because he loved you so much. You don’t deserve any of this fucking mess.

Your skin was flushed, your eyes slumberous, as you slid down your hands to cup his face. “When I was there, fighting, all I could think was you. And all I know is, I love you so much.” Your words touched him, he had his hands framing your cheeks. He smiled, “I will kill every Kaiju so they won’t block my way into you. I’ll fight for you, my love, for us.” You raised a trembling finger, “I want to be alone with you. I will be deployed again tomorrow in Hong Kong. Make me yours tonight, Yuta.”

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hailene · 5 years

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Perfect Imperfection

Perfect Imperfection| part one

Characters: Jaemin x female lead, Chenle x female lead (the girl will go by the name of Aeri)

Genre: fluff, angst, writer!au, highschool!au

Word count: 2.8 K

Summary: Aeri is the teenager who writes. Finding inspiration in anything surrounds her, her ideas go wild once she meets the perfect character, Na Jaemin. As a writer becomes obsessive with their favourite character, Aeri grows a weird passion for the bright boy. However, she's so focused on painting Jaemin as perfectly as possible, that she ignores the furry of fiery hair that takes her to night walks and shows her secret places around the town. Despite knowing everything, she forgets that playing with fire means getting burnt. And that sometimes, when we remember to stop, it's too late.

part one》 part two》 part three

"You can't possibly expect me to accept your chocolate milk as apology for hitting me with a basketball, Hyuck." I sigh as try to figure out my time table.

"Oh c'mon, I didn't even hit you that ha-..."

"What was your name again?" I tease him, furrowing my eyebrows as soon as I realize that tomorrow I literally had two classes at the same time. "What the hell?"

"What's wrong?" Jeno asks me, peaking over my left shoulder to look at the paper in my hands. "Wow, sociology and physics at the same time? I knew you were an ace but that's a bit extra terrestrial."

I sigh.

"Tell me about it." I say. "I didn't even want to take physics this year but apparently, the principal made the other choice be chemistry."

I turn around to face Jeno with clear despair written across my face. Dramatic as I absolutely adored to be.

"And I hate chemistry."

"I know, hun." He sighs, knowing about my absolute lack of desire to study chemistry. "You should go to the secretary so you can solve this. I'll ask Jeongin to cover this class for you."

I smile and hug him tightly.

"Thanks, Jen, you're the best." I say and run towards the other end of the school hall, ready to get my shit together for the first time during the new school year.

As I was preparing myself to enter the office, the door suddenly opened, making me step back in bewilderment. A hazelnut-haired boy stepped out of the room, a sweet smile plastered on his lips. His puppy-like eyes made him look young, maybe even younger than me, but his body figure was saying something else. He was definitely new, judging by his clothes. Really, nobody bothers to dress fancy around here, unless they want to prove something. And this boy was too good-looking to have anything else to prove, except the fact that he's willed to study and be nice to everyone.

Fun.

All my thoughts vanished when we made eye contact, finally making me aware of my physical presence there, reminding me that I am not some ghost that he can't see and I can't keep staring at him forever.

However, he simply nodded his head in apology for startling me and left. I shruged it off and entered the office, ignoring that spark deep inside that was telling me he was perfect.

By the end of the school week, I actually manage to realize I wasn't missing it that much. The one and only thing that I was missing about school was the incredible desire to write that it was giving me. I could write novels and novels... just so I don't have to do my homework. I would write wherever, whenever. During classes, during lunch, with my friends or alone. It didn't matter. If I was getting stroken by some heavenly idea, there was nothing that could stop me.

The perfect character.

That's what I was doing too when Renjun came to me this evening, while I was sitting on the edge of the basketball court. He sat near me in silence for a few minutes, before actually voicing out the actual reason why he came in the first place.

"The writing contest is starting again soon." He says and I nod. "But miss Kang told me she doesn't want you to participate."

I turn around to face him, my eyes wide in disbelief. This contest has been one of my greatest motivations ever since middle school and I can't let her take this away from me. Why would miss Kang even do that? She loves me. Or at least so I thought? Have I done something wrong? Did I annoy her with my infinite questions regarding the use of tenses or anything of this kind? Hell, I knew I should've kept it lowkey...

"What? She can't do tha-..."

"I'm not done yet." Renjun says calmly. "She doesn't want you to participate because you'd win anyway."

I smile softly and sigh. Renjun has always been somehow gentle but ruthless at the same time. And he's my only friend who truly understands my passion for writing. Not necessarily because he'd be passionate about this too, but because he's interested in understanding the people around him. And honestly, that's one of the things that make him such a great blessing.

"So she told me to ask you if you'd like to be one of the judges." He continues and I look at him bewildered once again.

"She what?" I ask surprised.

"I know you heard it the first time." He smiles. "Is that an yes?"

"Oh my God, Renjun, this is... this is..."

My dream ever since I was like 12.

"Insane." I finish my sentence.

Renjun smiles in response as I close my eyes and sigh, trying to collect myself.

"So I think you accept the offer-..."

"Of course I do!" I say maybe a bit too loud.

I smile awkwardly, telepathically apologizing for startling him with my loud voice. He shrugs.

"Cool then." He says standing up. "I'll see you around."

***

"The try-outs for the basketball team are on Thursday and I barely heard anybody being interested in coming." Jeno sighs while sticking a poster on the notice board.

"Don't worry, I'm sure people will come." I say as I hand him another poster. "The basketball team is pretty cool after all."

"Because I'm part of it." He smiles sheepishly and I punch his arm. "Didn't hurt at all."

I stick my tongue out to him but he doesn't seem to notice.

"Why doesn't Renjun want to join?" I ask him and he shrugs.

"He's actually doing a pretty good job as unofficial manager so I can't really mind." My bestfriend says, looking at the posters he has pinned so far. "How many do we have left?"

"About ten." I say looking at the posters in my hands.

Jeno sighs. I wish I could do something to lift his mood. I wish I could make him believe the try-outs aren't going to be crappy, but I am not too sure about it myself. He loves the basketball team so much and he would certainly do almost anything for it. The passion that he has is inspiring, but sometimes, it's too much for his own good. However, I guess it doesn't really matter as long as he loves his job, does it?

"Let's go and stick those at each of the entrances and the notice board from outside." He says and I head towards the entrance of the building.

As I prepare to go around the corner, heading to the entrance hall, I suddenly bump into somebody, making me fall on the ground with all the posters that I was initially holding flying around me.

"Crap, I'm so sorry!" I hear somebody saying and the next thing I know is that somebody helps me stand up.

The hazelnut-haired boy I met on the first day of school at secretary's office.

Looking even finer than back then.

"Are you okay?" He asks me, waking me up from my thoughts once again.

I nod as I bend down to gather the posters. The hazelnut-haired boy rushes to help me, handing me the posters that he's gathered when we're done.

"Aeri, what ha-... oh, Jaemin? What are you doing here?" I hear Jeno asking as soon as he approaches us.

Jaemin? So that's the name of the hazelnut-haired boy?

But how does my bestfriend know him?

"I realized I'd left in my locker some books that I need so I came to take them." The boy in front of me answers with a bright smile on his lips.

God, he's gorgeous.

"Oh, the try-outs for the basketball team?" Jaemin asks pointing towards the posters in my hand. "I'm thinking of giving it a chance, to be honest..."

"Really?" Jeno says. "That would be awesome, we're actually pretty much in need of people at the moment."

"I guess I'll come then." Jaemin says happily. "Ah, do you guys need help with sticking these?"

"Well, unless you have anything else to do, sure, why not?" Jeno smiles, looking at me and reassuring me it's fine.

Fine.

"I'm Jaemin, by the way." He says, extending his hand in front of me, a charming smile plastered on his lips.

"Aeri." I say, shaking his hand.

"Wait, you're the girl from the secretary office, right?" He asks and I feel my face heating in embarassment.

"Uh... yeah..." I say and he chuckles.

"I was in a rush back then, I didn't even realize that I hadn't stopped to apologize for bumping into you." He says and a small smile makes its way up to my lips.

"Nah, that's alright."

We finish pinning up the posters while having small talk and Jaemin proves himself to be an actual kind and funny guy, which didn't surprise me that much. I could tell by his bright smile and the sparkles in his eyes that he had something special. That he would be somebody worth writing about. But there was a part of me that couldn't believe him. It couldn't believe his perfect fit for a prince from the fairytales. There had to be something twisted about him. A hidden side of him. And I was ready to find out what that was about.

***

I try to gather up my things as fast as possible after the physics class, pretty bothered by the fact that I didn't understand half of today's lesson. Well, true, that might also be because I was sketching out some ideas on my writing notebook rather than paying complete attention to the class. As I try to make my way out of the class, I bump into somebody. Why do I have to bump into somebody everyday lately? I drop my books like a loser and mentally slap myself for not taking time to put them in my backpack instead of deciding to carry them in my hands. I rush to gather them all and my eyes meet a furry of firey hair and I feel myself smiling.

Zhong Chenle. The actual sun of my year. And not just because of his newly dyed orange hair, but also because of his blinding-bright personality.

I've never been close to him, to be honest. We have never been closer than classmates are supposed to be because I simply couldn't find any reason for me to do otherwise. He was smiling to everybody, friends with everybody and nice to everybody. But at the same time, he belonged to no one, which is why I personally thought his new hair colour suited him perfectly, he was like the sun: warm but at the same time, far, far away.

He lifts his head to look at me while gathering his books and gives me a small smile that, if I didn't know him at all, I would take as a playboyish smirk. But no, that's simply his natural smile.

"Haven't seen anybody rushing so much out of the class lately." He chuckles. "You okay?"

"Just trying to leave the bad energy behind as soon as possible." I say and his loud laugh echoes in the class, some of the other kids throwing him annoyed glares. But he didn't care.

"People use to tell me all the bad energy dissappears when I step into the room." Chenle says and it's my turn to chuckle.

"Well, I guess the level of bad energy from this specific class is too much for you to handle."

I stand up and he does the same. I look at him and smile without being able to hold back. Then, I leave. But if I had looked behind me just once, I would have seen him looking back.

That evening, Jeno and Donghyuck came over with a box of cookies freshly baked by Jeno's mom. She loves me and Hyuck loves her cookies, therefore the combination. Despite the fact that it was supposed to be a study night, we end up talking about random things while emptying the cookie box.

"So, are you still writing if you're not in the writing contest?" Donghyuck asks me, his chipmunk cheeks stuffed with cookies, crumbs around his mouth.

"Of course." I say smiling. "I'm not writing just for contests."

"A mundane like you wouldn't understand." Jeno adds and I laugh at the sight of Hyuck's frown which made him look like an annoyed squirrel.

"As if you're not a mundane too..." he mutters.

"I am one of the chosen mundanes." Jeno smirks and Donghyuck rolls his eyes, making me roll back on my bed in laughter.

"Maybe... I would understand better if I saw..." I hear Hyuck saying and before I can react, I hear him standing up and heading towards my desk.

Heck no.

"Don't you dare, Lee Donghyuck!" I shout as I stumble towards him.

But I'm not fast enough. He picks up my notebook from my desk and opens it with pure curiosity on his face.

"Hyuck, Hyuckie, please just don't, it's really personal-..."

"Newton's first law of motion predicts the behavior of objects for which all existing forces are balanced." He reads and I stop in the midst of my action. "I mean... it's truly personal. So personal that I think I have written the same thing in my physics class last year."

He shrugs.

"Did you change the covers so I couldn't recognize which of these is your writing notebook?" He asks, searching through the tower of books and notebooks that was sitting peacefully on my desk. "That's actually really smart!"

However, all I can do is stare at the notebook in horror. I have certainly never written anything related to my school subjects in that notebook so how did that de-...

Wait a second.

I pick up the notebook Donghyuck originally opened and I flip its pages, searching for anything familiar. Anything that might assure me this belongs to me.

This is not my handwriting.

The physics class. The physics class. The physics-...

I freeze.

Class.

"Crap!" I mutter and both Hyuck and Jeno look at me confused.

"What's up?" Donghyuck asks. "Look, I mean... it's cool that you write about Newton's second law in your writing notebook but-..."

He stops when he sees me franatically shaking my head.

"That." I point towards the foreign notebook sitting on my desk like a cursed thing. "That isn't mine."

"Then whose is it?" Jeno asks confused. "It looks exactly like your notebook."

I know, right?

"It's Chenle's." I say but my voice comes out as a terrified whisper.

"Wait what?" Hyuck says, almost choking on his cookie. "Chenle? As in Zhong Chenle? That carrot head in your year who laughs louder than the fire alarm?"

I nod, too shocked to laugh at his funny but accurate description of my classmate.

"Why do you have his notebook?" Jeno asks.

I cover my face with hands and sigh, then take a deap breath to explain the situation to them as shortly as possible.

"We bumped into each other and I think we accidentally took each other's notebook." I say as the realisation hits me. "Guys, he has my writing notebook!"

I fall on the floor of my bedroom.

"I am screwed." I cry. "If he reads it, my life is over."

"Why?" Donghyuck asks confused. "Did you write about him-...?"

"No, you don't understand!" I shout. "Those ideas, those words, anything that I write there, all of it is... it's... it's personal! It's a piece of my that I wouldn't give to anybody-..."

I break off.

"Hey, it's alright, ask him to return it to you tomorrow." Jeno says, trying to calm me down but for the first time, it's useless.

"No no no, if I tell him that, he'll be fully aware of the fact that the notebook doesn't belong to him and his curiosity might make him read it-... DAMN what should I do?" I say as I pace around my room, massaging my head.

Suddenly, an idea pops in my head.

I turn towards my friend.

"Hyuckieee, my favourite friend... you know I love you so dearly..."

"Okay, what's up with that cringey smile and disgustingly fake affectionate words?" He asks, taking a step back.

"You'd help me right? I'm your friend and you love me so you'd help me, right? Right, Hyuck?" I ask, stepping closer to him.

His eyes widden in terror.

"For fuck's sake, Aeri, just say whatever you need, you know I hate when you do this."

I chuckle. That was the point after all.

"Give me Chenle's address." I demand. "As soon as possible."

"I don't know it." He shrugs.

"But you can find it out." I smile sweetly and he rolls his eyes.

I put on a dark hoodie while Donghyuck taps something on his phone. Jeno watches us patiently, moving his gaze between me and Hyuck occasionally.

"I texted you the address." He says, putting his phone back in the pocket of his black jeans. "But what are you gonna do? Break into his house?"

"Wait, Aeri, you're not gonna break into his house, are you?"

He chuckles and I say nothing as I take Chenle's notebook and my phone and head towards the door. When Hyuck realizes I haven't answered his question, his chuckles suddenly stop.

"Of course not." I say smiling. "Just surprise him. See you guys later!"

I close the door behind me, leaving them alone in my room.

"Was that really Chenle's address?" Jeno asks after some time.

"Nope." Donghyuck answers shifting.

Jeno looks at him expectantly.

"Jaemin's." He continues, an innocent smile on his lips.

Jeno sighs but smiles shortly after, shaking his head, amuzed by the whole situation.

"C'mon, man." He says standing up. "We have to visit the Zhong ressidence tonight."

A/N: Hello, everybody! This is my first tumblr fic, did you enjoy the first part? How do you feel about it so far? I'll update soon!

hailene x

#nct #nctdream #fanfiction #nct fanfic #nct angst #chenle #jaemin #jeno #haechan #donghyuck #renjun #angst #fluff #writer #highschool #kpop

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