#or babe. other pet names are eh but

[clairenatural]

so sorry but it does throw me off when i see cas calling dean "baby"

#or babe. other pet names are eh but #i think he calls dean babe ONCE and dean is like excuse me what the fuck did you just say to me #it sounds wrong #and i think cas just does it bc he thinks that's how you're supposed to refer to the love of your life #i think he calls dean ''my love'' i think he says it in the same tone as ''you can't save everyone my friend'' #i also think he says it in multiple languages #BUT also. just ''dean'' #it's in the way he says it like nothing else could better express his love #DEAN calls cas babe though #not baby because that is the car and that's a hard boundary that cas set #dean you will not refer to me the same way you do your car #also at the beginning he was disgruntled. dean i am not an infant #but then it clicked that it wasn't another baby in a trenchcoat incident #dean also calls him lots of pet names that start off as jokes and stick :) #''good morning sunshine'' -> just sunshine as a pet name #angel as a joke that turns into something reverent and serious #honey when he's joking about being old men but maybe he WANTS to be an old man with cas #SWEETHEART. sweetheart is cute and cheesy and one of cas' favorites #also buddy (you are the love of my life) pal (please never leave me again) and man (you mean everything to me)

[shirefantasies]

How would the fellowship, Thorin, Fili, Kili, Haldir, Arwen and Eomer react to someone they like who always calls everyone by cute names like ‘love’, ‘babe’, ‘hon’, ‘darling’ etc.

Oooh, good question! I’m going to split this up into LoTR & The Hobbit imagines for the whole casts if that’s all right 😄

LoTR Characters When You Call Everyone Pet Names

Aragorn

His favorite part of your habit, in all honesty, is other people’s reactions. The first time you do it to him he sort of quirks up a brow, but others take it more extremely, offense or otherwise. He gets protective, though, if those others respond taking it too far. He’ll step in front of you if they start flirting with you or try to touch you unbidden even if you’re just friends at that point. No matter who in his group that is, unacceptable. At the use of a regular name slid into the flows of your conversation, something akin to "Oh, honey, you have no idea", his lips quirk up and privately he wonders if you’ve ever meant it.

Legolas

Your first meeting is you brushing past him at Rivendell with an "Excuse me, darling". Needless to say he stares after you with wide eyes because you must know him, but from where? Then you greet Elrond with an enthusiastic "Sweetheart, how I have missed you", and while the Lord of Imladris appears aware of the affront, he is also amused. Clearly this is simply your manner. Because of this, he accepts it without much overthought, though your pet names never fail to bring a smile to the elf prince's lips.

Boromir

The kindness you show him almost breaks him- is he worthy of your honeyed words? "Easy, dear heart, the troubles you carry are not even your own, are they?" The part of him tempted to lash out almost wins, but at the end of the day, you are right. All he can do is shake his head. He's heard you say call such sweet names before, but alongside your other words they pierce his heart like nothing before. He bids you sit by his side. "Wish me to speak or to listen?" You ask, and that is when Boromir knows he has fallen for you.

Gimli

"Who are you calling sweetheart, darling?" Offended as he may be, Gimli also takes it as a challenge of sorts, leaning in closer with smug satisfaction. It becomes a sort of tension for you both, an odd banter of affectionate nicknames tossed out even with the bloodiest challenges. "Cut his head off, Gimli darling!" "Wouldn't dream of doing any less, dear!" Gimli begins getting offended as your habit pops out with others, asking you pointedly what you think you're doing calling the elf sweetheart. "What's he done to earn that, eh?" Leaning in, your noses almost brushing, you give him a smile dripping with smug mock-sweetness. "I thought you didn't enjoy being called that." "Well," he crosses his arms stubbornly, eyes falling away from yours, "I suppose I've gotten used to it now."

Frodo

"Frodo, my sweet, please eat just a bit more for me, I worry so." Frodo's heart does a somersault- he's made sure notice of your habit by now, heard you speak your darlings and sweethearts aplenty. You often said it to tease the others when spirits were light or when you cared for them, but that was not all. The words my sweet were reserved for him. Everyone else got a plethora, it seemed, but him, and it vexed him in the best way possible, twisting his heart like nothing else. The sound of it was like a balm to Frodo, and he dared hope it held the meaning he dearly wished it to, for he was too shy to ask it of you just yet.

Sam

“Sam, love, pass me the ladle, if you please.” Samwise, thinking his heart might burst from his chest and run right up to you, pauses, speaks carefully. “What was that?” He asks, your name falling softly, almost delicately, from his lips. He’d heard the way you tease people before, usually addressing them as ‘my dear’. This was something else. The smile you gave him in response, too, was practically enough to kill him- could you tell? “I just asked if I might borrow the ladle, love.” Yep, the jig was up now.

Merry

“It’s got to be some sort of custom.” “That or you’ll be very, very wrong.” You arched a private brow over Merry and Pippin’s back-and-forth whispering, but thought nothing more of it until your next interaction with the blonde hobbit. “Merry, sweetheart, what are you doing?” Looking up from his knife, he held up a small chunk of wood with a strangely cocky grin. “Just a bit of whittling, dear.” Something about the roguish look he gave you, the confidence with which he adopted your habit, had your heart fluttering; you faltered a bit in your response before you sat at his side. Unbeknownst to you, he was elbowing Pippin triumphantly on the other side.

Pippin

His heart soars the first time he hears you call him honey. No matter what attacks you or what happens that day, day made. Then he hears you saying "No put that down, Merry sweetheart" and it all comes crashing to the ground because he’d gotten it into his head that he was special- was he wrong? He had to have been. When the words so easily pass between your lips again, this time in the form of '"Gimli dear, let me see that", hurt mingles with realization of your manner- that is just how you are. Moments pass, thoughts drifting by as clouds deciding whether or not to storm, before Pippin makes up his mind: he'll make known his interest, try everything he can until he truly does stand out.

Faramir

Publicly he barely humors it, trying to keep a tough face when his seniors or especially his father are present. Privately? It amuses him. Pleases his heart to see one with light spirits in the face of everything. Your ways make you something of an anchor, a reminder why he does the things that he does. You make Faramir laugh and he knows Boromir enjoys your company too- the three of you together form an escape that reminds Faramir of his younger days. And perhaps that happiness you always brings him has slowly metamorphosed, glimmering with hope every time you call him dear.

Eomer

This man, a military leader, and you call him honey? Eomer is shaken up honestly. He can’t even be annoyed because he’s too busy freezing with a slight frown upon his face. Wits coming back about him, he opens his mouth to question you, ask in his blunt way why you address him so... then you turn around and call his sister my dearest and oh, perhaps he was truly overthinking it. He laughs it off, swears to put it out of his head...but the mental image of you calling him a name of endearment plays over and over again whether he wills it or not.

Haldir

“And what has our precious jewel brought to us now?” Since discovering Haldir bristled a bit at your little names, you had decided to find the most ridiculous ones possible for the marchwarden. It worked every time, too, judging by the furrow of his brow. “They go to the Lady of Lórien,” he replied simply, not to be goaded so easily. The man he seemed to know the best, the ranger, exchanged looks of amusement with you. “And what do you have to say for yourself, my dear?” You asked the man. Just as you suspected, Haldir’s expression darkened a bit further- perhaps he had gotten a bit more used to his names than he let on. At that, you couldn’t help a chuckle and a smirk.

Eowyn

Though she may not voice it, she is questioning of your ways at first because she has firsthand experience of people using words as weapons, saying whatever they can to influence others’ will. So sure, call her dear but you will get nothing of her she does not want to give. The day this changes is actually when you call her brother a pet name and he’s shocked and the wide look in her eyes has both of you laughing in a way you usually do not. She envies your carefree ways and from that moment on enjoys basking in them. It is impossible to help the way her heart gives a little flutter whenever a 'dear' or 'my darling' is directed her way, however...

Arwen

The surprise she fixes you with upon playfully addressing her as ‘my pretty’ encourages you, if you are being honest. It’s a pleasant look, flattered and floored, that you think a lady like Arwen deserves to make again and again. As a result, while everyone else gets a casual darling or dear, you make it your mission to fluster Arwen as much as possible. “Ah, treasure, how has this day treated you so far?” She flushes. “…Well, I say. Thank you. And I wish you to know that you are no less than you say I am. The way you speak to me? It can also be said of yourself.”

Elrond

You are caring. Parental. As a father of three, Elrond appreciates the way you speak gently and warmly. Assist his healed patients with soft whispers of be free of your pain, dear heart. As he granted you leave to use his name rather than My Lord you still slip up at times…until it becomes quite the opposite and a good night, dear slips from your lips upon parting for the evening. Elrond accepts and assures your every apology with an affectionate smile, shocking himself with the realization that his feelings for you are much stronger than he had allowed himself awareness of.

#lord of the rings #lotr #lotr x reader #lotr imagines #the fellowship of the ring #aragorn #aragorn x reader #legolas #legolas x reader #boromir #boromir x reader #gimli #gimli x reader #frodo #frodo x reader #sam #sam x reader #merry #merry x reader #pippin #pippin x reader #faramir #faramir x reader #eomer #eomer x reader #haldir #haldir x reader #eowyn #eowyn x reader #arwen

[merrinla]

Story to be told

When Halsin asks you to tell him something about yourself, the answers will be different depending on who you play as.

Tav / Dark Urge: I live in mortal fear of krakens, though I've never actually seen one. Halsin: Well they are fierce creatures from what I understand... but as long as you avoid the high seas, I think you can consider yourself safe.

Astarion: Maybe I have a sweet tooth too. Halsin: Is that so? Would you seek to drizzle honey on a neck before indulging?

Shadowheart: Well, I have something of a soft spot for animals... though I've never had a pet, that I'm aware of. Halsin: Ha! Pet ownership is an illusion - nature's creatures choose their own companions. No one has true mastery over them in the end. As it should be. But it heartens me to learn you and I share the same admiration.

Karlach: When I first got to the Hells, I was so scared and lonely I adopted a pet rock. Named it Crag. Halsin: Ah, but there are no pets in nature - only companions. Though I'll admit Crag likely made for a rather stoic confidante...

Gale: I cast my first spell whilst still a babe. My mother took an awful fright when I conjured up a score of rabbits in the pantry. Halsin: Ha! Talented from the beginning, then? Almost a surprise you didn't cast magic in the womb.

Wyll: I've always wanted a child of my own. Perhaps one day, when peace visits the Coast. Halsin: I think I know how you feel... duty, eh? I hope your wish comes true. We'll need new life once all this is over.

Lae'zel: I despise sunsets, slow wits - and small talk. Halsin: Luckily there's nothing small about getting to know someone like you. There's little occasion for frivolity in nature - I can appreciate your stance... even if others do not.

Githyanki Player: I once stitched shut a wound using twine made from the entrails of an enemy. Halsin: You are... nothing if not inventive. I can only hope the foe had already expired before you began your work.

Dark Urge: I really don't know very much about myself to tell. Dark Urge: Nothing half as charming as that... it's all crimson and rot. Standard option: I don't think there's anything worth sharing. Halsin: Oh. Well, your choice, of course.

#baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #bg3 spoilers #halsin #tav #astarion #shadowheart #karlach #gale #wyll #laezel #dark urge #githyanki

[saffyspirals]

EYYY!! I recently found you in this app and I just gonna say your content is pretty great! Is it okay if I put on a request? Like what would the blue lock characters call their S/o? ;) any characters is fine to me but I hope Nagi and Kurona will be included hehe- Good work btw!

❥ fandom: blue lock

❥ includes: nagi, kaiser, bachira, chigiri, kunigami, shidou, kurona, hiori & reo

❥ notes: hi!! i really loved writing this request, so thanks for sending it in! i thought really hard about what kurona would call his s/o (literally took days), and fell in love w/ his character in the process :)

❥ warning(s): hmm…kurona might be ooc IDK but i like this kurona!

you are nagi’s little angel. he low-key started calling you that as a joke (he used to find couple nicknames a little cringe), but eventually, he grows to love your reactions to the name. you smile at him, a lot, and it gets him out of trouble 90% of the time. “come back to bed, angel… ‘m asking nicely, aren’t i?”

kaiser switches it up like no man’s business. he’d been calling you by different pet names since before you got together so, you’re pretty used to it. i’d say he rotates between babe/baby, love and princess. honey bunches and names of a similar strange nature are saved for when he feels like teasing you. mein kaiserin (my empress in his native tongue) is only used on special, romantic occasions. like, when he tells you he loves you for the first time. or when he’s trying to get his family to understand just how serious he is about you. <3

bachira switches between love and sugar. sugar-plum when he wants to embarrass you. bachira is definitely one to tell you that he loves you quite a lot, he just doesn’t want you to forget, i suppose! giving you ‘love’ as a nickname is a way of reminding you of the fact rather than declaring how he feels 24/7. sugar is just another name he likes. it sounds good coming from him, and you usually get a kiss after he uses it, which is of course a bonus. “eh? you’re asking me how i think you look today? you look perfect, sugar! always do.”

chigiri refers to you as his darling. the nickname is beautiful, and elegant, just like he is. it’s easy to get flustered, having him call you that. chigiri likes the fact that he’s able to bring about such an adorable reaction.

kunigami doesn’t call you by this nickname often. actually, he uses your first name most of the time, mostly out of habit (i’m thinking friends-since-forever turned lovers), partly because he feels a little embarrassed giving you a nickname and using it in front of others. BUT ANYWAY, kunigami refers to you as pretty. he’d first called you it by accident, but since you seemed elated by it, decided he’d continue to use it on occasion. “tell me what’s going on in that head of yours, pretty.”

SHIDOU CALLS YOU SWEET GIRL. (🫠🫶) + similar variations like, sweetie or sweetheart, or sweet cheeks. snookums is reserved for when he’s about to tell you he’s done something that will probably annoy you. reason for the nickname? well, you’re sweet! you’ve got a good heart, and won’t swing for people if they say/do anything you don’t like. “are you gonna kiss me goodbye, sweet cheeks? or am i gonna have to chase ya?”

kurona primarily calls you pudding. his reason for it? “i like pudding, and i like you.” i feel like he’s kind of a private person, and only opens up when he feels totally comfortable with someone so, it’s only used when it’s just the two of you around. HOWEVER. private as he is, i think kurona’s got this other side to him. he likes to tease you, just a little. say for example, you’re giving him the silent treatment. he’ll still try and talk to you, but will eventually get tired of not getting any attention. and then, “hey, y/n? can you pass me some napkins?” “…” “…ah, right. you love being called pookie bear, don’t you. POOKIE BEAR, WILL YOU PASS ME SOME NAPKINS?” he’ll pull this kind of stunt in front of your mutual friends when you’re having breakfast together (or something of a similar scenario!). it’s embarrassing, but it gets you to talk at least. he likes having you address him, even if it’s to tell him to, “stop embarrassing me, idiot!”

hiori calls you pumpkin. a little on the cheesy side, but i think it suits him! he isn't embarrassed about referring to you by the name in public either. it shows anyone who might be questioning your relationship that you're definitely together. if it embarrasses you, he'll do his best to tone it down. no promises that he'll never say it though, hiori simply can't help it!

reo rotates between a lot of sweet sounding nicknames. precious, my love, honey. i don't think he does this on purpose, but reo loves using 'my' before a lot of nicknames too. it's just an unconscious reminder that you're all his, and honestly, he's all yours. reo would be all in for any relationship he pursues, and nicknames come with the territory. bonus: he'd be absolutely over the moon if you gave him a cute nickname too. sure, he'd be a little embarrassed if his friends teased him about it, but his heart would swell with pride. being known as the 'sickening, lovey-dovey' couple isn't a bad thing, you know!! "My love, remind me what you wanted me to get you at the store later?"

#blue lock x reader #blue lock imagines #bllk imagines #bllk x reader #bllk fluff #bllk x you #blue lock #blue lock x you #nagi x reader #kaiser x reader #bachira x reader #kunigami x reader #chigiri x reader #shidou x reader #kurona x reader #michael kaiser x reader #meguru bachira x reader #nagi seishiro x reader #hiori x reader #mikage reo x reader #reo x reader #saffy x blue lock

[ctntduotism]

hi guys tntduo lawyer au which the lore only lives in me and my friend's head only, also im gonna retype the notes cause i have shitty handwriting and cant fit everything on it (under cut)

big spoon little spoon : they switch around sometimes but wilbur likes to be in quackity's arms cause hes warmer

lending clothes : Q's clothes dont fit on wilbur but it makes a banger croptop

pet names : Q uses pet names in private settings, he uses "mi vida, mi cielo, babe, honey" Wilbur uses them whenever and it flusters Q and he also uses way too many variants but sometimes try to use pet names in spanish and it endears Q (he also looks up pet names in dutch and french to use and it makes Q flustered even if hes bad at pronouncing it)

affection through actions/words : Wilbur would mention an item that he thinks is cool casually in a conversation then the next morning find said item on his bed side table

confesses first/waits for confession : canonically backfired on wil cause he accidentally drops it during a fight and Q was just not ready and it lead to their big falling out (during college cause they were roomates and bla bla lore stuff)

drives/cant drive : Q owns those fancy old cars cause he thinsk theyre neat but wil uses public transport

cooking : theyre both ok at cooking just knowing the basic stuff with Q having a slight advantage

PDA : theyre eh would rather not but with the exception of hand holding and cheek kisses that wilbur does and Q jjust kinda got used to it

overprotective/chill going : theyre both lowkey overprotective and wilbur would threaten someone if they hurt Q (cause hes older and he doesnt like to see Q hurt or sad) but Quackity would straight up square up for wil

relationship experience : Q being married to schlatt and wilbur dating sally but they also dated other people in the past to try and move on from the other

drinks to not think about the other wilbur and overworks to not think about the other quackity (just an addition cause cant forget the fact that wil is an alcoholic lol)

original template

#tntduo #tntduo fanart #quackity #quackity fanart #wilbur soot #wilbur soot fanart #my ocs #jk #dsmp fanart #qsmp fanart #tnt lawyer au

[heartririmu]

LUXIEM BOYS & READER ON THEIR PERIOD

pet names, gn afab reader. tw: blood mention & slightly suggestive content (shu and vox)

a/n: i just.. think they’re neat. this got super long bro LMAOOO. anyways periods suck ass hope y’all r well ily

Luca

— surprisingly (or unsurprisingly) very attentive and knowledgeable on what to do when your time of the month hits

— pads? tampons? he’d gotten those stocked up in bulk weeks in advance, don’t even worry babe. they come in all types of brands and even for specific needs (heavier flow, specific ones for overnight use, etc)

— he’s sending your favorite snacks and plushies of your favorite characters in a care package to your house in under an hour

— luca’s a good boy. he doesn’t get too upset if you need your space to deal with your pain, but he’s also one who wants to stay near you the entire time (something something overprotective puppy boy something something)

— also he’s got towels and such to put on the bed if you just wanna lay there and fight through your cramps that way

— heating pads? he’s got em. a warm water bottle? he’s also got that too! another way to warm up though is to just let him rest his hands against your tummy and hips, luca naturally runs very warm and it’s pretty soothing for your cramps

— stays with you as long as you need him to. he’ll be there to hold your hand and whisper comforting words as long as you need, mafia duties be damned because for the foreseeable week, luca is all yours

— “eh? work? don’t worry ‘bout that, i took the day off.. and maybe the rest of the week. you’re more important right now, alright? just relax, babe.”

Mysta

— he orders all the stuff you need via online, because he’d be too flustered to go out and buy them in person

— mysta knows what a period is and he understands the basics of it, however he does not like that it occurs monthly and he feels really bad that you have to experience it :(

— “seems kind of shit that your body wants you to have kids when you don’t want that. fuck periods, dude.”

— he cannot handle blood at all, he’d get so dizzy if he caught sight of it. if your relationship is still relatively new and you bleed onto the bed, you’re on your own for cleanup i’m sorry 😭

— he’s a sweet boy, really! it’s just he’s never really had to deal with that sort of thing before you?? it’s a new experience and it scares him sometimes

— if you want cuddles, then mysta is down 100%! anything you need to feel comfy and ease your pain he’ll do

— he runs naturally colder than others do, so if you need a heating pad he’ll get you a hot water bottle and other things like that instead.. but if you don’t mind his coolness then he’s all over you for some comforting snuggles

— when your cramps get so bad you cry he’s there to wipe your tears and hold you against him til they subside enough for you to move properly again

Ike

— ABSOLUTE KING! he takes care of everything like you legit do not even have to get up for most of the day bc he’s got you

— he brings any hygiene items you need to you directly, and he makes you food + warm drinks to soothe your cramps

— ike gets insanely flustered when buying pads or tampons for you, but he would do so anyways because he wants things to be as easy as possible for you

— HE READS TO YOU OMG!! he’d read some classic poetry or old children’s books.. something simple and soft toned that can put you to sleep

— he 110% refuses to let you do any work whilst you’re on your period. the pain is unbearable he’s sure, so you should rest instead of stressing yourself out with work!

— legit he does your work for you if it’s extremely pressing, ike would never allow you to work if you felt physically incapable

— “dearest, please. is it really that important for you to finish this document today? .. okay. let me see, i’ll finish it for you. go on and get some sleep, alright?”

— he makes sure to have an abundance of your favorite snacks and foods available for you whenever you want

— strokes your legs/hips to comfort you. he’s a touchy boy, but he doesn’t want to be overly affectionate just in case you don’t feel comfortable with being smothered

— also if you have mood swings or cry easily during your period, he’s the most equipped to deal w/ it

— like you start sobbing/tearing up, and ike is at your side IMMEDIATELY, cupping your face in his hands and wiping at your tears with his thumbs whilst cooing sweet words and shushing you

— “it’s alright, dearest. i know it’s uncomfortable, i’m sorry, i’ve got you. do you need anything? painkillers? on it.. you’ll have to let me go so i can grab them, though—”

Vox

— ough talk about being in good hands

— mans been alive for, well… forever? he knows a thing or two abt periods

— vox has stocked up on months worth of pads and tampons etc, all for your comfort

— he’s not super physical when you’re on your period unless you ask him to be? it’s not that he doesn’t want to touch you, it’s just that vox worries about causing you more pain somehow

— ^ illogical self deprecating thoughts about how he’s a demon and a monster, but he really can’t help it lol.. please reassure him that you want him to be near you :(

— he reads or sings to you if you’d like, his voice is such a big comfort ❤️ he could put you to sleep with it though so make sure you’re good to go for a small nap

— vox makes you anything you want to eat when you’re on your period btw, he likes spoiling you

— also like,, just a thought? imagine if he could smell your blood, so he realizes maybe a day or two before you actually start your period that it’s coming up

— (also you didn’t hear this from me but he gets kinda weirdly possessive of you when he smells your blood haha)

— he buys like an entirely new collection of plushies/pillows/soft things to sleep on? his mind basically goes “oh? body hurts? NESTING TIME”

Shu

— he somehow knows the schedule of your period better than you do? he tells you it’s because of “sorcerer magics” but you don’t know if you believe that

— he’s simultaneously insanely well prepared and completely caught off guard when it does happen though 💀

— pads? check. tampons? check. chocolate, your fave foods, comfort items? check check check

— however when you do start, shu’s calm and collected demeanor just shatters

— panic mode! baby boy is running around the flat, making sure everything is in order and that you’re as comfy cozy as physically possible!

— he’s not exactly experienced w periods? yk? so he’s nervy

— still, he’s super attentive like fuck 😭 he’s so sweet and gentle w/ you when you’re on your period that it’s kinda hot lmao

— shu’s naturally rather warm, his palms specifically are like heating pads

— imagine one of his hands just pressed firmly against your lower belly tho 😭 rubbing loving circles into your skin, being careful of his nails (fucking claws tbh). he’s not even meaning for it to be as suggestive of a gesture as it is,,,

— he gets flustered if you bring that to his attention.. he sorta laughs it off, even though his face is blazing and he’s avoiding eye contact

— “what?? nah, i’m just trying to help you with your cramps, i didn’t mean to make you feel like that or anything— but, if you uh.. need some help, then…?”

— just saying shu’s down to comfort you in any way that you want him to ;)

#x reader #fanfic x reader #nijisanji x reader #luxiem x you #luxiem x reader #nijisanji en x reader #tw periods #period tw #period fic #shu yamino x reader #ike eveland x reader #vox akuma x reader #luca kaneshiro x reader #mysta rias x reader

[catindabag]

TBOSAS on Crack short take (63)

*What are the Hungers Games for?* Read [this] first.

Sejanus: My love, my Snow Angel, wake up~. It’s almost lunchtime.

Coryo: *is half asleep* Five more minutes, Babe.😴

Sejanus: Ok! Anything for my pretty Snow Bae~.😍

Clemensia: Ugh. You’re so bad at this, Plinth.

Sejanus: Bad at what?

Clemensia: Watch and learn, lover boy. *grabs Coryo’s shoulders and shakes him like a rag doll* Wake the f*ck up, Snowy! Wake up! The school is giving away free food and money!

Coryo: *wakes up* Free food?! Free money?! Where?!

Clemensia: I lied.

Coryo: Clemmie, you’re cruel.

Clemensia: I’m normal.

Coryo: Doubt-

Clemensia: Snowy, be a dear and wake our professional dumpster diver, will you?☺️

Coryo: Fine. *turns to Festus* Bestie, Pup and Percy Price are playing Patty Cake without you again.

Festus: *immediately wakes up* Pup, you lying traitor!

Livia: Pup is not even here, you idiot.

Festus: Then where is he?!

Livia: I don’t know-

Felix: He’s currently hiding from the lunch lady again.

Festus: Lol. Did he “borrow” her hairnet again?

Felix: Worse.😔 He stole her golden spatula in the name of research.

Festus: *gets up and salutes* May the odds be ever in our brother’s favor.🫡

Felix: *salutes back* So be it.

Coryo: So be it. I’m hungry. Let’s go, Babe.

Sejanus: Yey! Hold my hand, my love-

Dr.Gaul: *blocks the exit door* Children, sit down.

Coryo: But it’s lunchtime-

Dr.Gaul: Sit.

Coryo: But I’m hungry.

Dr.Gaul: Starve.

Vipsania: *gasps* She said a forbidden word! She said a forbidden word!

Coryo: The audacity!

Livia: Dr. Gaul, can I leave? I have to fix my makeup real quick.

Dr.Gaul: Sure. Go ahead, girl.

Livia: Bye, losers! *walks out*

Urban: Yo, that ain’t fair, Doc!

Dr.Gaul: It’s Dr. Gaul to you, Mr. Canville. Besides, Mama Cardew is a monster.

Sejanus: You’re a monster!

Dr.Gaul: What are you gonna do about it, boy?

Sejanus: I will cry!

Dr.Gaul: That’s what I thought.

Persephone: That is still a form of favoritism, Dr. Gaul.

Dr.Gaul: Says the nepo cannibal.

Persephone: *starts crying* That was one time! One time!😭

Lysistrata: Dr. Gaul, that was uncalled for-

Dr.Gaul: Do you want Mama Cardew to burn our economy to the ground?

Lysistrata: No-

Dr.Gaul: Then shut your useless mouths before I shut them for you!

Persephone: Festus, Baby, hug me!😭

Festus: *hugs Percy and comforts her* There, there, Percy Price. Dr. Gaul is just a hallucination. She ain’t real. She’s just a bad dream.

Iphigenia: *raises hand* Dr. Gaul.

Dr.Gaul: Yes, pet?

Iphigenia: Can I fix my makeup too?

Dr.Gaul: No.

Felix: Wow. ✨Cardew Nepotism✨ really does work like a charm.

Coryo: Eh. ✨Cardew Nepotism✨ sucks. It only works on crazy people with real power.

Sejanus: I wish my nepotism is as good as hers.😞

Coryo: Don’t be too sad, my love. Our ✨Plinth-Snow Dynasty✨ will rule them all someday.

Sejanus: Along with our 24 gorgeous children?🥺

Coryo: Whatever you say, Babe.

Sejanus: 24 and more children?

Coryo: *sighs* 24 and more.

Sejanus: Coryo, Kiss.😘

Coryo: Sure-

Dr.Gaul: Not in front of me and my pit bull rabbit, you fools!

Coryo: Then let us go! I’m starving! I need to eat my pecan pie without looking at you!

Apollo: Yo, I have to buy a new bottle of glue.

Vipsania: Can somebody help me find my other shoe?

Persephone: I want my precious meat stew!😭

Dennis: I have an illegal business to attend to!

Diana: Does anyone have a new copy of ✨Me Before Hugh✨?🥺

Hilarius: I want to buy expensive shampoo-

Felix: Not now, Hilari!

Festus: Let us go! Let us go! Let us go-

Dr.Gaul: No! Nobody is leaving this classroom without answering the most important question of the day!

Lysistrata: The most important question?

Io: What is love?😀

Dr.Gaul: Ms. Jasper.

Io: Yes?

Dr.Gaul: Go cry in the corner before I give you and your parents another demerit.

Io: Ok.😞

Urban: So what’s the question?

Dr.Gaul: I’m so glad you asked, Mr. Turban.

Urban: It’s Urban-

Dr.Gaul: Tell me, children, what are the Hunger Games for?

Urban: I’m too angry to answer that stupid question-

Clemensia: To commemorate the war!

Dr.Gaul: Good. What else?

Diana: To commemorate the fallen heroes?

Dr.Gaul: Lame.

Dennis: To punish the rebels?

Dr.Gaul: Boring.

Felix: To punish those who stole my granduncle’s last bits of sanity!

Dr.Gaul: Lol. Nice try, brat. President Ravinstill was already crazy from the start.

Felix: But-

Dr.Gaul: He was born crazy and he will die crazy.

Felix: That’s kinda rude-

Dr.Gaul: Next!

Juno: To remind the Districts that we can be evil and ✨fabulous✨ at the same time!

Dr.Gaul: You’re not wrong, but-

Sejanus: To commemorate how cruel the Capitol is!

Dr.Gaul: Lol. Is that all?

Coryo: To Commemorate Drunk Dean Highbottom’s loser ass loser life!

Dr.Gaul: Correct- No! Not correct!

Coryo: To commemorate how angry and hungry I am right now!

Dr.Gaul: That’s still wrong-

Coryo: Let me go! I’m hungry! I need to eat my f*ckin’ pecan pie before I go feral!

Dr.Gaul: Mr. Snow-

Coryo: *is now in “feral” mode*

Sejanus: Not again-

Coryo: *is now acting like a feral wet cat* My pecan pie!

Sejanus: Babe, calm down-

Coryo: *hisses like a cat, shoves Dr. Gaul to the side, and quickly runs away* Bye, b*tch!

Lysistrata: Why is Coryo running like a skinny cat on crack?!

Sejanus: Festus, get the ropes! My poor darling lost his mind again!😭

Lysistrata: Again?!

Festus: Yeah. Poor Snowy goes full “feral” if he doesn’t eat something before lunchtime.

Hilarius: That’s wild, bro.

Festus: That’s just his weird irreversible war trauma working overtime.

Sejanus: It gets even worse if you don’t feed him his daily cabbage.😞

Hilarius: Well, that’s sad.

Clemensia: Felix.

Felix: Yes, Clemmie?

Clemensia: Are you 100 percent sure that our “prestigious” school is not secretly a mental asylum for the rich and Coryo?

Felix: I hope not.

Lysistrata: Weewoo.

Felix: I really hope not.

Pup: *comes out of nowhere holding a golden spatula* But seriously, what are the Hunger Games for?

Dr.Gaul: F*ck them kids.

#tbosas #crack post #crack ship #snowjanus #snowplinth #coriolanus snow #president snow #sejanus plinth #lucy gray baird #dr gaul #felix ravinstill #festus creed #clemensia dovecote #livia cardew #casca highbottom #lysistrata vickers #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #ballad of songbirds and snakes #thg #hunger games #the hunger games #suzanne collins #alternative universe #thg fic #thg incorrect quotes #tbosas fic #tbosas incorrect quotes #thg fanfiction #crack treated seriously #crack fic

[sarahowritesostucky]

📖"Merry & Bright"

Part 4 - Package Deal

Rated: Explicit

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Bucky Barnes

Tags: a/b/o, omega Bucky, alpha Steve, kids/domestic, fingering, anal sex, knotting, multiple orgasms, Voicing, claiming bites, D/s elements, mentions of PTSD, mentions of depression, postpartum, body insecurity, breastfeeding, mpreg, pet names

Word Count: ~7000 (I'm sorry, okay?!😫)

Summary: Steve and Bucky make love for the first time since the birth of their son.

(Or: a prime example of how even my sincere attempts at g-rated domestic kid fics devolve into 6000+ words of smut 🤦🏻‍♀️)

[“You want to know what it looks like?” Steve growls, pulling back with a filthy-wet sound and a voice that’s furious and rough-edged and determined. “It looks like the cunt of the omega who gave me my children. Looks like the cunt I wanna spend the rest of my life fucking, stuffing full of my cock, my cum, my knot … my tongue.”]

(Wait! I haven't read part 1, 2, 3 yet!)

Steve appears in the doorway to their bedroom after putting the girls to bed. “ ‘And the children were nestled all snug in their beds’ ,” he recites, making Bucky chuckle softly.

“ 'blah blah, something about a long winter’s nap' .” (Which doesn’t sound bad at all to him right about now.) “That took a while," he says, stifling a yawn against the top of Gabe’s head. “They didn’t get their hands on any sugarplums at that party, did they?”

Steve shakes his head. “Naw. Crackers and juice.”

“Juice has sugar.”

“They’re fine. Reading got ‘em down.”

“We still on Stuart Little?”

“Becs begged for an extra chapter,” Steve confirms, smiling from where he’s leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed, eyes full of affection as he watches Bucky feeding their son. “Did you have a nice time tonight, babe?”

Bucky winces first and lies second, so of course his ever-perceptive husband raises an eyebrow and waits him out for the truth. Bucky recounts the encounter with Karen and the other moms. “They wear me out,” he says, letting his eyes slip closed and his head dig back into the pillow that he’s got propped against the headboard. “Even when I promise myself I’m just gonna eat the food and not engage, somehow they draw me in. They have that knack.” 

“Eh. They’re just a bunch’a cotton-headed ninny muggins.”

Bucky snorts. “Yeah well I’m not too far off from ‘em.” He feels Gabe slowing down and trails his fingers through the boy’s wispy hair. “Here I thought it was last week instead of this week. Seven full calendar days off track.”

“Babe, it happens.”

“Hm. No it doesn’t. But you’re sweet for saying so.” He smiles self-deprecatingly. “Neurologist said I’ve got too much white matter, now.”

“Yeah, and he also said it isn’t getting any worse. Lots’a people have brain injuries and manage to live perfectly fine lives.”

Bucky doesn’t miss how Steve substitutes the word ‘fine’ for ‘normal’, and his lips twist wryly. “I know. It’s just, all this time I’ve been blaming it on pregnancy brain, but that'd be wearing off by now.” He groans with his eyes still closed. “Swiss cheese for brains, Stevie, I swear.”

Steve makes a sad tut of disapproval from the doorway. Bucky stubbornly doesn’t open his eyes, but he can hear the soft sounds of Steve padding across the room, then the bed dipping by his side as he slides in next to him. “You’re doing great, Sweetheart,” he encourages.

Despite how much Bucky disagrees with that assessment, he can still hear all the love and warmth in Steve’s voice, can tell that his husband sincerely means it when he leans in and kisses his ear, lips and breath lingering at the craggy, mutilated top. It’s one of the ways that Steve has always silently said ‘I love you’ to Bucky when he knows the omega is in a bad mood, and it somehow manages to worm its way past his churlishness each and every time. “Thanks, Babe,” he mutters.

Steve wiggles in to sit beside him, hip to hip, mindful of Bucky and the baby and not upsetting Gabe’s feeding time. “... Did something else happen today? You seem, I dunno, burdened.”

“I am. I mean I’m just fucking tired, but yeah.”

His hand appears on top of Bucky's thigh. “Tell me?”

Bucky sighs. “Just my emotions goin’ haywire. Hormones. I went jogging and cried in the park.”

“Baby,” 

Steve never likes to hear that Bucky’s unhappy, which is the main reason why Bucky avoids mentioning it. He’s got a therapist for that shit, after all. “Eh, it was brief. I got over it. But then I realized the play was tonight and I had to scramble to get the girls' costumes together; and right before that, I had to do battle with this snotty little beta at the pharmacy just to try and get my prescription filled, so that didn’t help.”

“What?”

Bucky ruefully recounts the incident with his birth control medication and the new FDA regulations, and Steve starts to rumble angrily in his chest before the story is halfway through. Bucky opens his eyes to see his Alpha looking all indignant on his behalf. His lips quirk. “Easy there, Big guy.”

“That’s ridiculous,” Steve growls. “I didn’t know there was any kind of legislation like that being considered.”

Steve’s unhappy scent is making Gabe start to pull away, and Bucky rubs the infant’s back. “Calm down. You’re making him squirm.” Steve grumbles but tries to obey, and Bucky relaxes when he feels Gabe go searching for another latch. “I dunno Steve. Things are changing, and I see the signs and it just scares the crap outta me.” 

“What do you mean, ‘changing’?”

“Just ... the little things," he mumbles, knowing that there's a chapter in his book called that, and that Steve probably remembers it, too. Bucky shrugs, avoiding Steve's concerned stare. "A couple of years ago, people weren’t talking so much about church. Now everybody’s back to talking about gender roles all the time.”

“People are allowed to have religion, Buck.”

“It’s not just that. It’s people’s attitudes changing, their whole approach. It scares me. People didn’t used to always be talking about what was ‘decent’ or what was ‘allowed’ on this platform or that. Purity culture, moral absolutism; those things were on the decline, ya know? People didn’t criticize working mothers as much. Omegas didn’t wear their collars in public like it's some sort of fashion statement. 'Tradwives' weren’t trending on TikTok. … Abortion was protected.”

“It’s still protected,” Steve argues. 

“Here it is,” Bucky says peevishly, because they both know about each and every issue that’s been kicked back to the states in recent years. “It’s how fast everybody forgets. Now those bumper stickers are coming back in vogue again, Jesus fish lapel pins. Hell, it’s even normal to launch a friendly chat with a chipper little ‘where do you fellowship?’ They’re banning books all the time—”

“In schools, not public libraries,” Steve interrupts, then hurriedly adds, “I’m not defending it, Buck. I’m just saying there’s a difference.”

“There’s a difference until there’s not a difference,” he snaps. Then, after a beat of fraught silence between them, he whispers, “Please tell me it’s not happening again, Steve.”

“Hey.” Steve shifts beside him, putting an arm behind his back to pull him closer against his side. He kisses the top of his head. “No, Buck. We’ve got intelligence agencies to fight against that, now. That’s what Shield is for. It’s what I do. You’ve gotta know I’d never let you or the girls—the kids,” he hurriedly amends, not yet used to “the girls” no longer being an apt descriptor of their children, “get drawn into a situation like that again. I’d never let it happen, baby, never. You know we have an exit plan if things get bad.”

Bucky nods, swallowing thickly at the mere thought of it. “Yeah,” he whispers against Gabe’s head. He knows that Steve only put that plan together to help assuage Bucky’s lingering fears, his anxiety that never quite goes away completely. “Yeah. We can get out. We have a plan.” He’s whispering it to himself, vaguely recognizes the beginning feelings of a spiral, how his pulse is faster than it should be, audible in his ears, with dread pooling low in his gut like spoiled food.

He whimpers and pushes his nose against Gabe’s hair to soothe himself, inhaling the new baby smell that he still has. “We have a private jet,” he whispers, reminding himself, trying not to let his thoughts flash back to the memory of the retreating rear window of his mom’s car at a border crossing, his sisters’ faces pressed against the glass as they leave him behind in a country where he's not safe anymore …

“Untrackable Quinjet, fly to Canada,” he murmurs, trying to focus on five things that he can see, smell, feel, taste and hear … about Gabe, his son, his—

“Baby,” Steve is mourning by his side. He grips Bucky’s shoulder and gives him a comforting squeeze, which pulls Bucky’s vision back into focus from the panic attack he’d been about to fall into. Steve seems unaware of it. He’s still just cuddling him and talking platitudes in a low voice. “That’s not happening, okay? Things are fine, I promise you.”

Bucky nods, even though he can’t help but to worry, “Then why are people giving up their rights again?” he asks. “You know they’re expanding the Fertility Care Act.”

“I know. But that doesn’t take anyone’s rights away.”

“You know how I feel about it.”

“I know. I know babe. ‘Incentiv—”

“Incentivization is the first step to coercion!” Bucky finishes for him. “Yes. They’re prioritizing citizens who can have kids over ones who can't. How is that fair?!” 

Steve lowers his head. “It’s not.”

“And passing all these restrictive laws? Requiring my Alpha to cosign on my birth control? How can they do that?”

Steve sighs. “We’re still a democracy,” he says sadly. “People still have the right to vote for the policies they want, even if they’re not the same things that you and I want. We’re a self-determining society, babe. If they get enough support for it, enough votes … People still get to make these decisions.”

Bucky grunts. “Well they're making the wrong ones.”

Steve hums in agreement, giving him another squeeze. “Hey now, don’t think about that stuff. Relax with me tonight, that’s what I want.”

“Hmph.”

“You’re gonna turn the milk sour, you keep worrying like that,” he teases. “C’mere, grumpy.” He dips in and nuzzles against Bucky’s face to try and get a small smile out of him. It kind of works, and Steve hums happily when he feels him soften. “How’s Little man?” he asks, kissing Bucky’s temple and looking down at their son.

“Pretty sure he’s eating in his sleep,” Bucky murmurs. “And I’m about to be too.” 

“Mm. But you’re not eating.” 

“You know what I mean, dummy.”

Steve leans in and noses at his neck, scenting him affectionately. “You smell so good, momma. Smell like home, like mate.” Bucky makes a grumbling sound of complaint at the “momma” and Steve snickers and kisses him in apology. He cups his hand behind Bucky’s flesh one, intimately joining him in cradling their infant son’s head against Bucky’s chest. “Lookit that,” he purrs, and it’s not all innocence to his tone, as he stares at where Gabe is suckling. “I love to see you like this,” he murmurs. “Seeing you feeding him, giving him what he needs. Using that part of yourself for this.”

Bucky groans and lets his eyes fall closed again in mortification. “Steeve.” He feels Steve’s thumb start swiping back and forth on the back of his hand that's cupping Gabe's head.

“Shh. It’s true, momma.” Steve starts peppering kisses against the top of his shoulder as he watches Gabe nursing and Bucky blushing. He speaks softly between the kisses, murmuring intimate words of love against Bucky’s skin: “Love it. Love you. You don’t know what it does to me, to see you with him like this. Watching you takin’ care of him. Knowing that your gorgeous body can do this, can nourish him. The baby you made for me, my son.” His voice is rumbling again by the time he finishes, possessive, and he laces their fingers together and ducks in close to start mouthing at Bucky’s bonding glands—something which he knows turns Bucky on to no end, goddamn him. 

Bucky groans and whines. “Are you serious right now?” Steve’s laugh puffs out against his skin, warm and affectionate, and Bucky drops his head to try and hide the smile he can’t keep off his own face. “Damn you, Rogers.”

“Language, momma Rogers,” Steve purrs, which only serves to make the heat in Bucky’s face worse. “Let me put him down,” he murmurs, kissing Bucky’s neck one last time before moving forward to take Gabe. Bucky hands him over with a tired hum, letting his eyes slip closed again while Steve is gone. 

He’s surprised when he drifts off to sleep and the next thing he’s aware of is Steve crawling back into the bed with him. “Mmhh, I fell asleep.”

“I can see that.”

“He go down okay?”

“Yep.” Steve pulls him into his arms and lies down with him, kissing his forehead. “You make me so happy, Buck,” he whispers. He trails kisses down his face until he reaches his lips, then presses gentle pecks there until he’s able to coax his way inside for more. He makes out with him lazily, humming in pleasure as Bucky softens and starts to respond to it. He lets one hand roam his body, trailing up and down the omega’s side, then squeezing his waist. “You tired?” he whispers.

Bucky smirks with his eyes closed. “M’ always tired.”

Steve hums in agreement and kisses him some more. “He slept through the night last night.”

“Yeah. Don’t jinx it. Maybe we’ll get lucky again.”

“Want to fool around?” Steve murmurs, already kissing along his jaw towards his neck again. His big hands roam Bucky’s body, caressing his waist and circling behind to grab at his ass. “I miss you.”

Bucky sighs in pleasure, nodding. “I’m fucking tired,” he murmurs—very pointedly not a ‘no’—then shivers when Steve rolls over to cover him with his body, pressing one firm, thick thigh up between his legs. Bucky groans tiredly. “Ohh, Honey.”

“I’ll do all the work,” Steve promises, whispering the words against his neck in a conspiratorial way that makes Bucky chuckle. Steve kisses his bonding gland again. “Mmm, promise. You can just lie here and feel good.”

“Or fall asleep,” Bucky mutters, though as Steve presses his thigh down and rolls his hips, the odds of that happening significantly diminish. Bucky smiles with his eyes still closed and digs his skull back into the pillow, shivering full-body as he feels his dick waking up. “Mm, Stevie. Yeah. Make me feel good?”

“Course,” Steve whispers, before sealing his mouth over the sensitive tissue of Bucky’s bond scar. He hums in pleasure as he sucks hard, coaxing the gland underneath to swell and grow closer to the skin with arousal. He fits his teeth to the shape of it, biting in a quick, sharp nip that makes Bucky gasp. 

“Oh! Steve …”

“You remember what the doctor said,” he teases, scraping his teeth over the spit-wet skin. “Hm? ‘Bout the ways Alpha can help you feel good?”

“Ohh, mm hm.” Bucky’s O.B. and his therapist have told them that stimulation of the glands can help relieve some of the effects of postpartum depression—including regular sex and penetrating bites from a bondmate. They've tried the latter but not the former, but Steve has been more than keen on the idea of helping his omega in both ways.

“What do you say, baby?” he asks, licking and kissing all over his bond scar. “Hm? It's all healed up from last time. Can I?”

Bucky whimpers, weak from the rush of arousal that always comes at hearing Steve ask for this. “Nnn,” he whines uselessly, rolling his body up against the alpha’s bulk. “Ssteve,” he slurs, “Nnn, don’t.”

“Aw, why not?” he coos lazily, still mouthing at that spot. “It’ll feel good, I promise.” He moves up to whisper in Bucky’s ear: “I know how hard it makes you cum when I time it just right.”

Bucky moans pitifully. He tries to remember what his reason for protesting it is, but it’s hard. “It’s almost—oh! mmm—s’almost Thanksgiving. W-we, um … T-tony’s parties, n’ the Turkey Trot …”

Steve lets his teeth drag over the glands again. “Fuck the Turkey Trot. So what? I love seeing you fresh with my mark. And this way everyone else will too. They’ll see it and they’ll know you’re mine. Know I was probably fucking you while I did it, claimin’ you all over again.” His voice is rough and gravelly by the end, full of heat and possession. “You got any idea how much I like that?”

“Hnhh,” Bucky breathes, unable to argue against that reasoning. “Okay.”

“Good boy,” Steve purrs, eliciting another pathetic whine from his mate. Bucky can practically feel Steve’s satisfied grin as he continues to nuzzle into the crook of his neck, mouth never leaving his bonding glands for long. “Smell so fuckin’ good, mama,” he groans, and this time rather than protest the endearment, Bucky keens at the way Steve says it: like Bucky being the mother of his children is the sexiest, most wonderful thing imaginable. Steve keeps kissing a path down his neck and shoulder, over his collarbone and chest, stopping when he reaches the level of his pecs and sealing his mouth to a nipple—the same place where their baby was nursing not even ten minutes ago. 

Bucky shivers in sensitivity and blushes like a madman, his hands flying up to tangle in Steve’s hair. “Nnh, Steve, wait, oh …”

Steve groans and rubs his cheek against his chest, the drag of his facial hair and his hot breath making Bucky’s nipples harden into tight nubs. He brings a hand up to cup one swollen pec and mouths openly at the other, groaning as he stares greedily.  “Fuck, baby, look at you.”

“Steve,” Bucky pants. “Nnn,”

“Mm mn, no. Hush. Just let me play with ‘em.”

Bucky continues to whine about it, but a hardening dick and a leaking asshole don’t lie, and Steve knows him too well to let him get away with such shallow evasion at this point in their marriage.

He settles in for the long feast, humming and grunting in pleasure between kisses and sucks to Bucky’s chest, alternating sides and squeezing whatever he isn’t mouthing over at the moment. “God, baby,” he says between one kiss and the next. “Wish you’d stay like this. Love your body like this. So soft, just for me.”

“Fuck, Steve.”

“Mmhm. Could keep you like this forever. All needy and sensitive.” He traps Bucky’s nipple between his lips and sucks, hard, and Bucky feels that tingly sensation and knows what’s going to happen a second before it does. His hands fly to Steve’s head and he cries out, but there’s no time for him to warn his husband before his body lets out a tiny spurt of breastmilk. Steve only pauses for a second, his mouth still on him, and then he groans loudly against Bucky’s chest. He sucks again, huffing in enjoyment, then lifts up and meets Bucky’s gaze with lust-blown eyes. “Oh honey,” he whispers, sounding devastated. “I almost forgot how sweet you are.”

Bucky’s brain is kind of short circuiting at the sheen on Steve’s lips, wet from his very own breast milk. “Shit,” he exhales shakily. “Alpha.”

Steve growls and drops back down to suck on him some more. Bucky can only lie there and take it, his head tossing on the pillow and hands gripping Steve’s hair as the alpha makes a playground of his chest. Bucky whines and complains, but truth be told there’s something small and squirmy inside of him that secretly loves it when his husband indulges in his body this way. It makes him feel wanted and beautiful, reminds him that Steve loves every part of him, even when Bucky himself doesn’t. “Leave—aah—leave some for the baby,” he eventually manages to say, laughing between pleasured groans and gasps. 

Steve pulls off and comes up to kiss him, tongue swiping past Bucky’s lips and leaving the taste of himself behind. Bucky’s breathing shakily by the time they part, and Steve’s eyes flit over his face. “You okay?” he asks, so sincere in his care for Bucky that it makes Bucky want to give him everything. 

“Yes Alpha,” he whispers, reaching up with his flesh hand and cupping Steve’s jaw with it. “I just love you stupid-much, is all.”

“Stupid much?”

“Mm, yeah, it’s pretty stupid.”

Steve surges down to kiss him thoroughly once more “See?” he teases, knocking their foreheads together. “All that moping didn’t curdle the milk after all.” Bucky huffs and swats at him, and Steve grins and rolls away. “Hang on one sec.” He gets up to undress, and by the time he’s crawling back into bed naked, Bucky’s kicked off his pajama pants as well. Steve slides right back into the cradle of his hips. Between their bellies, his cock is hard, but he makes no move to address it, focused on his mate instead. “What do you want tonight?” he asks gently, tracing Bucky's face on one side and then the other. “Hm? We can do anything you want. Whatever makes you feel good.” 

Bucky softens, in love. That’s how it’s been these past four months: Steve being careful, trying so hard to respect any boundaries, to let Bucky take the lead as they find their way back to intimacy as husbands. Problem is, most days Bucky doesn’t know what he wants. He swallows thickly and rasps out a quiet, “I just wanna feel you.”

Steve hums. He tucks the recently-shortened strands of Bucky’s hair aside, eyes flicking from one ruined ear to the other, amazing Bucky with how his gaze never waivers with any hint of distaste at the mutilated flesh. It’s just love he sees in him. “I think that can be arranged.”

He kisses him, long and languid and indulgent, the kind of kiss that takes its time and never really escalates, more intimate than it has any right to be. By the time he’s kissing down Bucky’s body to put his mouth on his prick, Bucky’s a leaking, mewling mess. 

“Ssteve,” he slurs as he watches his husband’s blond head of hair dip down between his legs and feels his mouth engulf him in sudden, overwhelming warmth. “Oh God.” Bucky’s eyes slip shut and he digs his skull back into the pillow, exhaling through clenched teeth at how good it feels. Steve hums from around his mouthful and Bucky hurriedly grasps at his hair. “Nnn, don’t,” he hisses, trying to calm down even as his hips are shoving up at Steve’s face. “Don’t hum like that, Jesus Christ.”

Steve laughs and pulls off to look up at him. He kisses Bucky’s cockhead and winks. “Sorry. I was just enjoying myself.” Keeping eye contact, he suckles and laves over just the head of Bucky’s dick, then uses his hold at the base to tap it against the flat of his tongue several times. 

“Fuck.” Bucky pants and screws his eyes shut. “It’s been too long. I can’t hold it.”

“Who says you need to hold it?” Steve kisses his hipbone. “Cum as many times as you want to, Sweetheart. As many times as you need.”

Bucky groans. “That sounds like a challenge.”

“Maybe it is.” He goes back to Bucky’s cock, pushing hard at one of his thighs to force him to widen his legs even further. “There we go, good boy. Keep ‘em spread.” 

Bucky peeks down at Steve and sees him staring at … everything. 

Oh. … Oh.

He swallows nervously. It’s been over four months now, and he’s had the go-ahead from the doctor since all the way back at his six-week checkup, but Bucky’s still been self-conscious. They've resumed some recreational activities, but Steve still hasn’t asked to have sex yet. Bucky’s pretty sure he’s waiting for him to initiate. “H-how’s it looking down there?” he asks, trying to insert levity into his tone and failing pretty spectacularly. “Everything … everything good?” 

“Mmm.” Steve caresses his balls, pushing them up and out of the way, feasibly so that he can stare at his perineum and further back to his weeping, clenching hole. “It’s winking at me,” he says, making Bucky’s face go red hot.

“You know what I mean,” he huffs, knocking his heel against Steve’s back halfheartedly. “How’s it … how’s it look?”

Steve hums and pretends to consider it very seriously, moving in even closer. “Looks perfect,” he says, a touch more arousal in his voice this time. And he’s so close now that Bucky can feel the heat of his breath against his skin. Steve’s finger touches just behind his balls and glides all the way back along his taint, up and down, tracing the line of where Bucky knows the stitches were. “All healed up,” he murmurs, sounding pleased. “Pretty and pink.”

Bucky snorts and makes a face. “Yeah, right. Don’t worry Steve, I’ve read all the reality check articles.”

“The what?”

“Stuff on the internet for new mothers. On how wrecked you are after giving birth. They say it’s especially rough on male O’s, and I’ve popped two of these things out, so.” He grimaces. “I think they have like, lasers or something that they can use to try and fix it, or at least make it look nicer.”

“What?” Steve sounds shocked. “Babe. What are you talking about?”

Bucky huffs, not wanting Steve’s false platitudes. “I’m just trying to be realistic, okay?” He squirms impatiently and refuses to look down at the alpha between his legs. “So? Does it look like … ya know, very messed up?” 

Steve’s tensing shoulders and his low growl are the only warnings Bucky gets before his husband’s mouth is sealing itself straight over his taint and sucking ferociously, the accompanying rumble of his growl only intensifying the feeling.

Bucky yelps. “Holy fuck!” His body jolts in place, trying to bow off the bed, but Steve holds him still with strong arms wrapped around his thighs. “Sh-hit,” he gasps, “Steve!”

“You want to know what it looks like?” Steve growls, pulling back with a filthy-wet sound and a voice that’s furious and rough-edged and determined. “It looks like the cunt of the omega who gave me my children. Looks like the cunt I wanna spend the rest of my life fucking, stuffing full of my cock, my cum, my knot … my tongue.” He surges back in, taking turns between tongue-fucking his hole and sucking on his rim as brutally as he can, making loud grunts and groans in the process that are very clearly meant to drive a point home. “Mmph, mmm, hhmph!” 

Bucky gasps and keens, overwrought by Steve’s words just as much as he is by the feeling of his mouth. He doesn’t even consciously think about it as he grabs his cock and starts jerking off, Steve groaning loudly against his ass when he realizes what Bucky’s doing. It only takes another minute of that before he’s coming, riding Steve’s face as his cock pulses in his hand and wets up his belly in spurts of clear omega cum. 

“Oh God, oh, ohh …” His breath hitches in broken moans as he rides the orgasm out. Then the pleasure wanes and he slowly comes back down to earth, panting and dazed, blinking up at nothing but the blank plaster of their bedroom ceiling …

Until Steve reappears in his field of vision, having climbed back up to lie over him once again. Bucky welcomes the press of his alpha’s heavy body on top of him, accepts the slick-tinged flavor of Steve’s tongue when he slots their mouths together and shoves inside, demanding and harsh. “That was number one,” he says, when he’s pulled back and is looking down at Bucky with a satisfied expression. “How many more you gonna give me tonight?”

Internally, Bucky curses. He curses, dies a little bit, and falls deeper in love all at the same time. Meanwhile, externally, he regains his breath and meets Steve’s hungry stare. “I’ve got a feeling you’re gonna wear me out more than the baby,” he says, aiming for a wry drawl but only achieving something that sounds breathless and wrecked instead. He sees Steve’s eyes darken the way they do whenever he’s issued a challenge, and knows he’s in for a hell of a night. “What’re you thinking?” he whispers.

“I’m thinking: I want to see that again, and again,” Steve rasps, voice gone to gravel. “Thinking I want to watch you lose control like that all the goddamn time. For the rest of my life.”

Bucky flushes. “Steve …”

“I’m thinking: that I want to make you feel good in every possible way there is to feel good.” His lips ghost over Bucky’s as he murmurs, “So that you know. Because you clearly don’t—”

“Steve …”

“And so that you never feel like you need to ask me a question about what you ‘look like’ ever again. Not on any part of your beautiful body.”

Bucky groans and tries to turn his face away, But Steve catches him and guides him back with a gentle hand on his cheek. “Uh uh, Sweetheart. You listen to me. I want to make love to you. Until you can’t take it anymore, until you go soft and weak and cryin’ with it.” His hands start wandering over the peaks and valleys of Bucky’s body, caressing his skin. One hand moulds itself to the side of his neck, fingers playing over the texture of his bondmark, while the other glides down, pausing to stop and tweak a nipple, squeeze his waist, grab the fleshy curve of a hip. Very purposefully, he slides his hand to settle into place over his lower belly, hushing him when he feels him start to tense up. “Shh sh sh. It’s okay. It’s okay.”

“Steve, I’m … it’s —”

“Shhh.” He nudges their noses together, chiding and affectionate all at once, because he knows which parts of his body Bucky is most self-conscious of. But he doesn’t move his hand from the territory it’s claimed. “I know,” he whispers. “I know how you feel. But that’s all wrong, baby. And I want to show you.” He kisses him again, only this time it’s tender, almost achingly so. He relents and pulls back. “That’s all, Honey. I just want to make you feel new things, good things. I want to show you. I need to show you.” 

“Show me what?” Bucky whispers, but then Steve stares down at him in that dark and private way that he deeply, intimately recognizes, and he regrets having asked. Bucky trembles and closes his eyes. “Steve, please. You don’t have to …” 

“Look at me,” Steve murmurs. He rests their foreheads together. “I just want you to understand, baby. That when I touch you here,"—his fingers curl possessively into the too-soft flesh of Bucky’s stomach—“I feel something so profound, so far beyond just love or arousal … that I don’t even know what to say to you. You understand? It hurts. I don’t have words for it.” He looks at him imploringly. “You couldn’t be more beautiful than you are to me right now.”

Bucky’s heart beats faster at the intimate confession. He tries to suck his stomach in, tries to tense his abdominals and make himself firm, but Steve tuts at him and pinches the side of his neck, right over his swollen glands. Bucky gasps, eyes shooting back up from where he’d been starting to look down between their bodies at Steve’s hand on him. “I wasn’t.”

“Look at me,” Steve says, and this time it’s in his Voice, the sound of it sending an instant shot of arousal down Bucky’s spine and into his core. His eyes must show it, too, because Steve smiles and purrs deep in his chest. “Yeah,” he encourages, still in the Voice that he so rarely uses with Bucky. “That’s right. Look up here at Alpha. Do as you’re told.”

Bucky licks his lips, aware that his cock is rapidly hardening again. “Steve,” he breathes shakily. “I —”

“Pull your knees up,” he murmurs, and Bucky obeys without a second thought. “Good boy.”

A chirp erupts from Bucky’s throat, unbidden, and he colors in surprise at the sound. “Alpha,” he says, because it’s the only word he can think to say.

Steve smiles and strokes over his bond mark with the roughened pad of a thumb. “Does it feel nice? Want more?”

Bucky nods, blinking, the effects of Steve’s Voice still singing in his veins like a drug. “Yeah.” 

They hardly ever engage in Voiceplay. It’s something Bucky enjoys with his husband, but he’s had bad experiences with other alphas in the past; times when men who weren't Steve assaulted him with what should only ever be used as a tool of lovemaking. Steve knows this, and so he usually avoids Voicing with Bucky unless he knows that the circumstances are just right.

The circumstances are just right. 

Bucky whimpers and reaches down impulsively to cover Steve’s hand where it rests on his belly, but not to pull it away. “Alpha,” he chirps again, fingers curling over Steve’s larger ones.

“This okay?” Steve checks, his eyes scanning his face for even a hint of discomfort. 

But he finds none, and Bucky nods his head in fast approval. “Yeah, yes.”

It’s still achingly vulnerable, having Steve touching this soft, imperfect part of him; but it’s intimate, too, and Bucky wants more of that. He wants Steve to make love to him this way, an Alpha with his omega—capital A, lowercase o.

“S’been so long,” he breathes, his voice hitching as his emotions finally catch up with him. Ridiculously, he starts to feel tearful. He’s missed having this with his mate so much. “So long, Stevie.”

“Baby,” Steve coos. “Don’t cry.”

Bucky sniffles shyly and tucks his face into Steve’s neck, feeling stupid. “Can’t help it,” he mumbles.

Steve’s fingers massage his bond mark and he kisses his temple soothingly. The hand that was on his stomach snakes around, dipping underneath his lower back and tugging them even closer together. “You gonna let me?” he asks. “Gonna let Alpha make you cum again and again?”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah? Gonna let me give you another bite, make it a good one? Mark you up again for everybody to see?”

Bucky whines and nods, drawing his knees up, wrapping his legs around Steve’s hips and tilting his pelvis to make himself available to his mate. “Please,” he begs. “Please, yes, Steve. I want it, please.”

Steve rumbles deep in his chest and slots their mouths together in a brief, aggressive kiss, then pulls back swiftly and manhandles him onto his belly, pulling him up by the hips into presenting. Bucky cries out in surprise but goes willingly, widening his knees on the bed and pushing his ass back into Steve’s groping hands. “Good boy,” Steve praises, Voice dipping down into that register that’s low and rumbly and lets Bucky know that his Alpha is very pleased with him.

Bucky grunts and wiggles happily until Steve’s hand appears at the back of his neck and pushes down: a wordless, forceful ‘Stay’ that makes him shiver and whine with impatience. “Nnnh.”

The hand flattens at his nape and slowly drags down the length of his spine, appreciative and greedy. “Aw, Sweetheart,” Steve breathes, hips rocking forward. “You’re perfect. Absolutely perfect, y’hear me?” He curses quietly as he digs his fingers into the fat of Bucky’s hips, watches his cock dragging through the wet valley of his ass. “Jesus wept, Honey. Lookit you. Wet dream come to fucking life, I swear.”

Steve only curses this much when he’s incredibly turned on, and the knowledge that it’s his doing has Bucky slicking up even worse than before. He whines and scrubs his face against the bedding as he feels his hole pulse and leak, the slick tickling as it trails down his taint and balls. “Steve,” he pleads, relieved when Steve grabs his hips and continues to take control.

“Shh, s’okay, you’re okay. I’m gonna give you what you need. Gonna take it slow.” His fingers appear at his backside, slipping through all the slick, wetting them up in him. He starts to press in with one finger. “Real slow,” he murmurs. He fucks him on just that one finger, for far longer than he would normally do, taking his time in Bucky’s body, in relearning this touch with him. Bucky makes a miserable noise against the bedsheets and Steve hums, pleased. “Yeah? How’s that feel, Sweetheart?”

Bucky whines and nods, his cheek dragging on the sheets. He feels Steve curling over him, his chest pressing up against his back and then the finger sliding deeper. Bucky moans as it grazes over his prostate. “Oh, God.”

“Uh huh.” Steve’s breath hits right at his ear. He plants his left forearm alongside Bucky’s, holding himself up as he fingers him. Right next to Bucky’s face, their pinky fingers hook together, flesh over metal. Steve kisses the shell of his ear and whispers, “Bucky, honey. You’re so swollen inside, I can feel it.” He strokes his finger, curling gently over that spot that makes Bucky’s vision go blotchy. “I want you to cum like this first,” he whispers. “On my hand a couple’a times. Right on Alpha’s fingers. Okay?”

Bucky sobs and nods. “Yeah,” he breathes. “Steve, please.” He can feel the orgasm coalescing already, the pleasure of Steve’s finger pulling him closer on every pass. “Please, please.”

“Shhh. Remember: slow,” he reminds him, and Bucky’s guts twist up in further delicious arousal and frustration. Steve doesn’t try to edge him, though. He lets him have it, working him up to it steadily, not rushing, kissing his neck again and again as he fucks him on one finger and then two.

That added fullness is what makes Bucky unravel, his body pulsing as he gasps and suddenly falls into his second orgasm.

Steve talks him through it, never stopping the whispered encouragements against his ear: “There we go. That’s it, baby, that’s it. So good.”

Bucky collapses to his stomach, and Steve follows him down, gently nudging his knees inside of Bucky’s to make a space for himself. Bucky complies, boneless from his climax. “Stevie,” he slurs. 

“Right here, baby.” He presses up all along his back, covering him with warmth. “I’m right here.” His hands slide up Bucky’s arms and cover his hands at either side of his head. Bucky moans quietly as Steve laces their fingers together and gives a squeeze. “Hey, gorgeous.” He rolls his hips, cock slotting into place. “You’re so wet.”

“Y-yeah.”

Steve rocks leisurely against him and Bucky hums at how slick it is, enjoying the intimacy of rubbing together full-body. He lets his eyes slip closed as he soaks it all in: Steve’s heavy weight, his scent, the scratch of his beard and the heat of his breath in the crook of Bucky’s neck. He wishes they could stay like this forever.

“You feel so good,” he whispers. “I love you.”

“Love you too, Sweetheart.” Steve drags his lips over the sensitive skin of his bondmark. “Can I fuck you, baby?” he asks softly. “You want that, hm? Want Alpha inside of you?”

Bucky is glad that Steve can’t see his face, because his eyes are wet from pleasured, overly-emotional tears, and this way he doesn’t have to bother being embarrassed over what a sap this pregnancy has turned him into. He nods and scrubs his cheek against the bedcovers. “Yeah,” he rasps. “Yeah, Steve. Please.”

Steve hums and kisses him once more, before he reaches down and lines his cock up, dragging the head wetly across his rim a few times with increasing pressure, until it catches. Bucky tenses, because it’s been so long since they’ve done this, and because the last event of real significance that involved his asshole had been childbirth, but Steve soothes him with a sucking kiss to his bondmark. “Relax,” he murmurs, pushing in at the same time and making Bucky gasp softly. “Shh, there you go. See?” 

“Ohh.” Bucky’s eyelids flutter as he’s slowly filled. “Steve.”

“Uh huh.” Steve’s hips kiss his ass as he sinks home all the way. “Juust like that,” he purrs, grinding against him and staying deep inside. “S’it feel nice?”

“Uh huh,” Bucky breathes, lips parted and eyes closed, brow furrowed at how full he is. “Yeah, Stevie … oh …” 

Steve chuckles and kisses his shoulder. “You feel amazing,” he whispers, before he experiments with moving a little more. He keeps pulsing his hips, rocking languidly, gradually building up to a slow pace.

He fucks him gently then, not pulling back to get on his knees or gain any kind of leverage. Instead he stays close, deep; plastered to his back and dragging his cock against his sensitive insides over and over so perfectly. When it pulls a tortured moan from Bucky's throat, Steve encourages him with soft, sucking kisses against his glands. “S’okay.”

“God, Steve.”

“Uh huh. Juust like that. I remember how you like it. Alpha's got you, baby.” Steve sounds like he’s getting close, too, voice laboured as he grunts against Bucky’s neck. “You gonna, ugh, gonna cum again, mamma?”

Bucky whines and nods. “This time,” he begs. “Please, please. Do it.”

The two of them share a bond, and that’s probably the main reason why Steve’s able to tell what he means.

He doesn’t disappoint, either, fucking him smoothly right into another orgasm and timing it perfectly. As soon as Bucky’s body goes rigid and his breath stutters in his throat, Steve’s biting down hard over his bondmark, breaking the skin and piercing the swollen glands beneath. Bucky sobs and comes harder and longer than he has in a long time, crying from how impossibly good it feels.

It’s compounded by the sudden groan that Steve lets out and the rapid inflation of his knot, as the bite sets him off as well: “Nngh!”

While Steve is stuck inside him and lost to his own pleasure, Bucky’s able to rock himself to one more, toe-curlingly delicious orgasm before he finally lets himself go boneless on the bed, fully sated. He knows when Steve is done coming, because the alpha becomes more attentive again, his hands running over Bucky like he’s checking him for injuries sustained. If Bucky hadn’t just come four times, he might've been able to spare a chuckle over it. “Hey,” he says instead. “M’fine, babe.”

“Yeah?” Steve sounds pleased. He gives his hips a lazy roll against Bucky’s ass and nuzzles his freshly-bitten bondmark, groaning at the pheromones that hit him. He licks a big, fat swipe over it with his tongue, groaning and making Bucky hiss. “Mmm," he murmurs. "You’re bleeding."

“Duh.” 

Steve growls. “Be nice to your Alpha,” he Voices, and  Bucky shivers pleasantly. Steve notices the reaction and gloats. “Hmm. Maybe we should start biting more often.”

“How often?” Bucky’s halfway through a yawn as he says it, and he feels Steve shrug against his back. 

“Once a month?”

He chokes. “Steve!”

“What?” Steve’s snickering. “I like a well-scarred bondmark. S’romantic.” 

“It’s fucking primeval is what it is, you caveman.” Bucky scolds, rolling his eyes. He clenches down purposefully hard on Steve’s knot, smiling at the surprised—Hngnn!—he gets for it. “We already do it on our anniversary every year.”

“And sometimes on Valentine’s,” Steve supplies.

“Exactly. Any more than that and people’ll think we have a fetish.”

“Well, maybe we do,” he purrs, kissing the bite. “And it is what the medical professionals are recommending, after all.”

“Ha, yeah.” 

“... You’re really okay though?” Steve checks. “None of that bothered you? The Voicing, or the—”

“Shh. No. I loved it.” Bucky lets his eyes fall closed. He can still feel his pulse thrumming beneath his skin, bringing the delicious ache and throb of his glands to the forefront. “Every part of it,” he sighs.

Steve laces their fingers together. “Good. ‘Cause I take doctor's orders very seriously, you know.” He rumbles deep in his chest and gives a dirty grind against their tie. “We gotta keep you healthy, Buck. Gotta make sure you’re properly … stimulated.” 

“You suck so bad,” Bucky groans. “Your permission to know my medical information is rescinded.”

“Aw, don’t be that way. I can dick you down again in like, an hour, if you want? Probably. Two hours, tops.”

Bucky yawns, humming as he pretends to consider it. “Tempting offer, but how ‘bout you cuddle me ‘till I pass out, instead?” he says, because he really does think the other night was a fluke, and that he’s destined to be awakened by a baby monitor within the next few hours. Steve wraps his strong arms around him and pulls them to lie on their sides. They spoon like that and enjoy the closeness while they wait for Steve’s knot to go down. Bucky gets goosebumps when Steve starts caressing lazily up and down his side. “Mm, that’s nice.”

“Mmhm.” Steve slots his fingers into the trigger points for the prosthetic. “Let’s take this off,” he whispers, kissing the shell of his ear. 

It’s Bucky’s fucked up ear—a place where he’s usually squirmy and uncomfortable about Steve touching, let alone kissing, but right now it doesn’t bother him at all. Too many endorphins surging through his system, he supposes.

“Okay,” he agrees, since he doesn’t really love sleeping with the arm on anyway (he’s got this paranoia that one day he’ll sleep-punch Steve in the middle of a nightmare or something), and then lies there and listens to the sounds that the arm makes as it’s triggered to disengage from his body. He can’t actually feel anything other than some vague, mechanical movements deep in the arm’s very internal workings. It doesn’t hurt. And then it comes off, a sudden release of weight and tension that Bucky hadn’t even realized was there. He moans quietly at the feeling. “Nnh. Thanks Stevie.”

“You’re welcome.” Steve sets the arm out of the way and resumes his gentle stroking and caressing along Bucky's side, venturing up higher to where the anchor site for the arm begins, implanted permanently into his body.

Bucky can sense his husband looking down at it, can feel the pads of his fingers exploring thoughtfully over the texture of scars and metal edging. He sighs, feeling wistful. “Do you ever wonder what it would’ve been like, if we’d met before?”

Behind him, Steve stills. He’s quiet for a long moment, and just when Bucky thinks he’s not going to answer at all, his caressing starts back up again and he hooks his chin over Bucky’s shoulder. “Sometimes, in a general way," he admits. "But then ... it wouldn't be the you I fell in love with, would it? We wouldn’t be us.” He worms his other arm under his waist and hugs them closer together. “Maybe we’d have less nightmares between the two of us, less therapy,"

Bucky snorts.

"But I wouldn’t choose anything but this. Nothing would be the same if we hadn't met the way we did, y'know? You probably would’ve stayed in college, focused on your career, maybe put off kids too long. I wouldn't have joined Shield, Peggy wouldn't have moved away.” He kisses the ruined edge of Bucky’s ear again, so tender and slow that Bucky knows he’s doing it intentionally. “Just think: Becca wouldn’t exist. And we wouldn’t have Sarah or Gabe, 'cause you and I never would’ve met.”

“We might’ve.”

“Mm, doubtful.” 

Bucky grumbles, displeased at that hypothetical, and Steve hugs him and coos in agreement, “Shh. I know, I know. That would be awful. I’m just saying: you can’t trade the good for the bad. It’s a package deal. And you know what? I’m happy with my package.” He seals his mouth to the fresh bite wound and gives a powerful suck, popping off with a wet sound and a pleased growl. “Very very happy with my package.”

Bucky’s too gooey and in love and fucked out to get the delivery just right, but he at least manages to wiggle his butt against their tie and mutter out a tired but saucy little, “Mmm, yeah. I like your package, too.”

Masterlist

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@nekoannie-chan I saw you queue fics so I thought I'd apply 😊

#steve rogers bingo #bad things happen bingo #marvel smash bingo #afgkinkbingo #any fandom goes bingo #mcu kink bingo #sebastian stan bingo #steve rogers #bucky barnes #steve rogers x bucky barnes #bingos n bangs #stucky #stucky fanfic #steve rogers fanfiction #bucky barnes fanfic #mcu #marvel #the handmaid's tale #commander's omega #dystopia au #a/b/o #alpha/omega #alpha omega #alpha beta omega #omegaverse #omega bucky barnes #alpha steve rogers #kid fic #domesticity #mpreg

[itsfuntobeavampiree]

Could you write something about Otis Driftwood? There's no content to do w him and I'm simping so hard.

Your writings so good!!:)

Ofc ml! Xx

Sorry if this is wayyyyy ooc,I've like only watched 3 from hell😭 I need to get round to watching house of a 1000 corpses and devil's rejects. But I wanted to give you something! So sorry for the late reply I was watching every YouTube compilation of this man.

This is gonna have to be a headcanon board for him because I don't know this man well enough to give you a whole oneshot.

Gn reader but does refer to female body parts and names

I feel like he'll be a very touchy person and always touches you inappropriately even if there's people around but if you do it back to him he'll cringe and tell you to keep your hands to yourself (secretly he lovessss it)

Man doesn't know a simple peck on the lips. It's always sloppy with him even if your lips like barely touch!

Pets names he'll give you: momma,darling, babe,doll. He'd enjoy pet names given to him too, he likes the lil cute ones you give him. Males hims feel real special

He doesn't like to admit it but he thoroughly enjoys it when you brush his hair and put it up for him he finds it cute when you have your tongue sticking out concentrating on doing his plaits.

Nsfw headcanons

This man is an ANIMAL, and you know it. I mean if he notices a lot of discomfort coming from you he'll stop an ask and then whatever made you uncomfortable he'd do his best to avoid.

I'm sorry but otis definitely has a lactation kink😭 free the nipple! Literally because he will paw at your bra until you let him. He's pretty skilled with his mouth, even if you weren't really a sensitive person you are now.

In bed he calls you degrading petnames and really fucked up ones. For example, cum dumpster, slut, whore. Yeah you get it. But I mean he doesn't mind it when you start having a go at degrading him. But there is a barrier even for you, like if you don't like names I've listed he won't call you them again as long as you do the same with him.

Eh. Aftercare? He'd just think you'd get up and start cleaning yourself and he'll lay there watching your every sore movement but if you're to tired and achey he'll grab a rag and dry you. That's the least he could do....right?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yeah sorry for this shit show. I didnt want to write much bc I didn't want it to be too ooc and I didn't wanna disappoint you. But if you did actually like it, thank you! And check out my other shit. (Legit only 3 other ones ) I don't write much atm but I will dw xx

#otis driftwood #slasher x reader #otis driftwood x reader #otis driftwood x you #house of 1000 corpses #devils rejects #3 from hell #baby firefly #captain spaulding #mother firefly #tiny #winslow foxworth #rob zombie

[a-small-writer-in-a-big-world]

Bunny, lovely, dove, sweetheart just make me foam at the mouth I love fics like that

Just not daddy or something haha idk I called my dad daddy all the way till I was 18 cuz of a childish thing in my head so I just can't find people calling someone daddy attractive to me but it's fine for others to do it

Lemme know pet names you love and hate!! Plz 🥺🙏

Oh my god the daddy thing I totally agree. Hate it I hate it so much it is so unattractive to me I still sometimes call my dad daddy especially when I’m really upset and I need him to comfort me so I avoid fics that use it like the plague. Not for me.

But pet names that I love to be called: love, sweetheart, sweetie, honey, my love, babe, baby, darling,

Pet names I don’t like: babygirl, doll, dear (this is eh it depends I’m not old yet), kitten, sweetie pie (my grandma calls me this so no)

Honestly there probably a lot but I don’t get called any pet names so I wouldn’t know until someone called me one lol

#asks #pet names

[ozwriterchick]

Pursue your happiness

Part 5 - I can explain

Characters: James "Bucky" Barnes; OFC (Ruby); Steve Rogers; Other original characters; Other Avengers

Content warnings: A bit of angst, a pinch of sarcasm; talk of cheating

Summary: Ruby and Bucky finally talk

WC: 1475

Masterlist

**********

As I gathered my bag and went to stand, he grabbed my wrist gently but enough to stop my progress.

“Ruby please, don’t go, let me explain.  That pause was because the truth is so far from what you were thinking, in fact it’s almost the complete opposite.  Honestly, I was composing myself so I wouldn't laugh because it’s not funny, but when you know the truth, you’ll know why I reacted that way.  Please, sit back down, please?”

“Last chance Barnes” I told him, returning to my seat.  I looked up at Eric and he raised an eyebrow, to which I shook my head that I didn’t need any help.

James saw this and nodded at Eric as if he understood Eric’s role in the proceedings.

“Before we begin, do you need another drink?”

“Yes please, same.  Eric will know.  I have a tab”

James went to the bar and got us both another drink.  He and Eric chatted a bit while Eric was getting the drinks and then he returned to the table with another Long Island Iced Tea for me and a beer for him.

“On the hard stuff eh?”

“Yeah well, this isn’t a normal night for me and it’s possibly a getting myself wasted so I can get through the heartache.”

“I didn’t mean anything.  Your Dad figured you were going to get pretty drunk when you told him where I should meet you, so he drove me here and made me promise to not drink too much so I could make sure you get home safely regardless of which way this conversation ends.”

“I appreciate that James, Dad always worries and he knows me too well.”

“Ok, so where do you want to start?  Do you want to tell me what made you certain that I was cheating on you?”

“I’m not the one who has done anything wrong here James, so how about you start with telling me once and for all, what was going on?”

“Well, I know you think I have but technically I haven’t done anything wrong either.  I’d never cheat on you babe, I just was planning something and I wanted it to be a surprise.”

“Convenient.  What were you planning?”

“How much trouble would I be in if I said I’d rather not tell you?”

“I have one foot out the door James, if you don’t come clean, you will never see me again.”

“Ok, ok, Umm, where to start.  So you know we are.. were.. I’m not sure which tense to use right now, coming up to our 3rd anniversary?”

“Yes..”

“Well I had started planning a surprise party, with all of our friends and family attending.”  

“That’s it? A party was what derailed our relationship and made me think you were seeing someone else?”

“Ok, well that’s not all, but how about you tell me why you thought I was cheating and maybe I can explain what was happening at the time?”

“Ok, well first of all you had a much heightened interest in your phone, checking it, always smiling at what was on it but not showing me when I asked..”

“So are we meant to show each other everything?  What about privacy?”

“What about if you aren’t doing anything wrong, you have nothing to hide.  You told me you were getting funny TikTok’s or Memes from Steve and Sam but you'd never show me them.  Clearly that’s not what you were getting.”

“Fair point love” You let the pet name slide this time “So I’d sent out save the date invites to a lot of people and most of the time you caught me doing that, it was an rsvp from someone saying they wouldn’t miss it.  Everyone knew it was a surprise party so nobody said anything to you.”

“Hmmm, well I guess that’s a logical explanation.  How about locking and moving the phone out of my view whenever I came near you.  You also started taking your phone everywhere, even to the toilet?”

“Well, again, that’s cause most of the planning was done on my phone and I didn’t want you to chance upon some detail and find out what was going on.”

“Ok, I can understand that” At that moment his phone dinged and he went to pick it up to see who was messaging him.

“Seriously James, you are going to just check and answer a message while we are having this life or death conversation?”

“Well, Steve said he’d text me to make sure you hadn’t killed me, so I figured I’d check if it was him and respond otherwise he might think you’d succeeded.”

“Ok, can I see?”

“Of course sweets, I don’t have anything to hide.”

He picked up his phone and opened the message.  He showed me and I could see it was from Steve, so I agreed he could check it and respond.

“What did he say?”

“He basically just asked how the conversation was going, whether you had or were about to kill me.  I told him that you hadn’t, that you were listening to my explanations and seemed like it was going well.  Did you want to read it?”

“No, I think I trust you to be telling me the truth. One request though, please call me Ruby, the pet names are just a bit much right now”

“If course sweetheart, I mean Ruby.  And I am telling the truth.  I want you to trust me”

“Ok, so I suppose the sneaky conversations that would stop the minute I entered the room, or came anywhere near you were also planning and not wanting me to overhear details?”

“See, you get it, right?  It’s hard to organise a surprise without keeping secrets or stopping conversations.”

“I think I’m beginning to get it James.  All your boys days out at last minute with Steve and Sam, etc?”

“Checking out venues and party hire places, decorations, caterers, you name it.”

“Hiding the credit card statement?”

“Your present and paying for all of this stuff.  Babe, sorry, Ruby, I thought I was being real subtle with all of this stuff and I still don’t know how else to do it that I wouldn’t be keeping secrets from you but I just wanted to give you the best anniversary party and show you how much I, and all of our friends and family, love and appreciate you.”

I reached out and put my hand on his.  He turned his palm over and scrunched his fingers around my hand and squeezed.  

“I’m so sorry Buck.”

“For what sweetheart?”

“For totally getting the wrong idea and for over-reacting and for.. just everything.”

“Sweet Jesus Ruby, you have nothing to apologise for my love.  Now that I hear what you’d been observing, I can understand why you thought what you thought.  But why didn’t you talk to me?”

“I tried Buck.  Last night I asked you if something was wrong and you said nothing.  And I get now that nothing was wrong, but shouldn’t that have been a clue for you that I thought something was wrong?”

“Absolutely, I should have picked that up, but in all honesty, I was so worried about you finding out about everything, I just panicked and pushed it away.  My question is, why didn’t you ask someone else if you didn’t feel like you could ask me?  Nat or Sam - you know if I was doing something I shouldn’t be, Sam would be the first one to drop me in it with you?”

I chuckled “You’re 100% right, he would have given you up faster than Pietro could run across the compound.  I guess I just felt like they were your friends and I had nobody to talk to.”

Bucky got up and moved over to sit beside me, constantly checking in that it was ok for him to be so close.

When I looked in his eyes, I couldn’t help but start to cry.  I felt so stupid for assuming I knew what was going on and thinking the worst, when he was actually planning the sweetest surprise and I just ruined it.

“I ruined everything.  Now there’s no surprise party.”

“Well, there’s still a party, it’s just not a surprise any more, at least not the party itself.” He said mysteriously.

“Oh don’t start now.  I’m not going to ask another question, except when is the party and then on Monday I’m gong to go shopping for a fancy, expensive dress to wear.”

He turned to me and cupped my face with his hands and pressed a sweet, tender kiss on my lips.  The most pure, love-filled kiss I’ve ever experienced and I knew I was back where I belonged.

“I love you so much Buck.”

“I love you too sweets.  From now till the end of time”

**********

AN: We're almost there - just an epilogue to go. It's already written and I'm so excited for you to see the end of this story.

Don't forget to like, re-blog and comment

**********

Taglist:@cjand10@angstysebfan@psychictazzy76@lovely-geek@samanthaneedsanap@kentokaze@void-imaginations@iheartsebastianstanstuff@yourmumsluke

**********

#steve rogers #bucky barnes #angst #avengers #ozwriterchick #abandonment #james buchanan barnes #ofc (ruby) #talk of cheating

[ohsunnyboy]

what pet name does sung hanbin use on you i promise this is important

i've hit 1am delirium i'm writing a sung hanbin fic do not rush me or i will disappear for another month

i apologise once again for the disappearance! if you are reading this then thanks so much for the support you've all been giving me it actually makes my day seeing the likes every time i come on :)

this sung hanbin fic will be a "pls help this person keeps hitting on me and i don't know them pls pretend to be make s/o" and you are the one helping him out of the sitch so that'll be fun.

i've been reading hella romance books this summer (and by that i mean five and a quarter (i gave up reading king of wrath (seriously never buy that book) (but DO buy love, theoretically 10/10 book))) so i feel this is due. as for the ricky fic that i keep promising.... eh it's a major writing block for me rn so i'm avoiding it like the plague expect it when you least expect it.

as for spoilers for the fic so far: no tiramasu for you, since when did you have a boyfriend!? and holy fuck this man is gorgeous

#hiya #sung hanbin #sung hanbin x reader #zerobase1

[astranva]

HOW IS YOUR WRITING SO REALISTIC????? I NEED actual tips 😭😭 Whether it’s Harry or Chris or Joe or anyone you just always give us realistic fics that I imagine their voices in my head so much IT’S CRAZY

first of all, that’s the best compliment you can ever give to a writer, so thank you and i’m so fucking glad you think so.

second of all, i watch their interviews. and idk, i think because i mostly write fluff, i stir away from the overly romantic, poetic, and sweet pet names and flattery the most.

“you’re the light of my eyes, my dear sugar bear and warm darling” is not something anyone can say. ever. unless you’re with someone who believes they’re stuck in the 1800s.

i love adding backchannels so much; these are the hums, nods, etc. you make when someone’s speaking. i feel like it adds some realism to the speech.

filler words are also so, very commonly used in our everyday speech; um, uh, like, eh, ah, etc. but you want to make sure you’re not overdoing it, especially with the um’s and uh’s because personally, i think they can look a little off. example:

“um, thanks, i guess.”

“ummmm, thanks, i guess.”

second one just seems off. if you want to imply that the um was long, i’d recommend:

“umm,” they dragged, “thanks, i guess.”

but that’s just me!

people stutter and repeat words all the time. with chris, he always does that. like he’s always like:

“i think-i think the movie was just-it was just great.”

so whenever i write things like that, my reference is always his voice in my head. if i can hear his voice in my head, then i’m writing what i personally want to achieve.

with harry, lots of his speech starts like this:

“i think…like…”

it’s always an “i think” and he says lots of “like” as well.

with anyone else, it’s a mix of both, but since i mostly write about harry and chris, i’m more familiar with them.

they’re both funny, so don’t be scared to have some teasing banter. like for example:

“you look good. is that my t-shirt?” you teased.

“oh, fuck off,” he laughed.

it’s just…nice.

you can try to stir away from physical descriptions as well. so when i say:

“you look so fucking good,” he said, eyes wide as they ran over your figure.

flustered, you replied: “yeah?”

i personally think saying “flustered” instead of “blushing” is more generic, yes, but it’s much more expressive. because you can spot a flustered person so easily, but a “blushing” person? it’s just not easy. you can be white and not blush on spot.

i’m no pro, babe. i’m 100% sure i have lots of cringey fics and my writings aren’t realistic to so many other people, but these are the tips i actively think of when i’m writing.

thank you again! xx

[whorehausen]

because of the recent taunting, 6. “sweetheart”, ethan page/eddie kingston

Eddie and Ethan make me so soft! I need them to either have a full-scale feud and fuel me or be besties again because I can't cope with this snarkiness with no context. Ethan didn't start an entire ass highspots show to keep Eddie in wrestling only to get mad at him when he did that and did everything Ethan told him he was going to do. I just don't believe your honour. cw: some very mild mentions of self-confidence issues/ body issues.

“Oi! Ethan!” Eddie calls but Ethan ignores him. He isn’t in the mood to explain himself to him right now. Not in the middle of a dynamite taping either. They are at work for god sake. Keeps walking but he should know better than he to think Eddie would just drop it. “Eh! Sweetheart, hold up!” he calls and the pet name makes his blood boil. “Don’t fucking ‘sweetheart’ me Eddie!” Ethan growls back at him turning around to hiss at him. “I’m not your sweetheart,” he tells him pointing at his chest, directly between all his chains and rosaries.

“Then don’t ignore me when I’m calling on you. I know you heard me” he huffs at him. “What’s going on with you lately?” he asks him and Ethan just shakes his head at him.

“I don’t know what you're talking about” he lies easily and tries to turn away from him but Eddie catches his wrist too tightly in his hand to let him go anywhere.

“Hey! Papi! Come on. All these years and you can’t tell me you’re pissed off at me unless it’s over Twitter or on TV? C’mon now. Stop playing with me. What I do to piss you off so bad?” Eddie tries to joke with him but it only makes Ethan angrier.

“Fucking let go of me, Eddie. I’m not playing with you. I’m just done with you – there’s a difference” he growls. “Go find one of your goddamn twinks to annoy if your bored”

“That what all this is about? I’m not paying you enough attention, pretty?” And god that smug smile of Eddie’s drives him wild and makes him want to punch him at the same time. “Ain’t my fault you’ve been so busy lately. Shit. You’ve barely had time for me since you got here. I thought Sky and all them boys were keeping you busy and taken care of. All your fancy’s and expensive things. Been walking around here like you were too good for me all of a sudden. I start playing with some other people and you're going to get jealous on me E? We’re too grown for that babe” Eddie tells him and despite the smirk on his face Ethan knows there’s something truth and some pain in those words.

“I never said I was too good for you” Ethan huffs at him. “That’s your own bullshit, told you a long time ago don’t put that on me” but he doesn’t quite meet his eye.

“Yeah but you also used to tell me when something was bothering you and not avoid me for weeks so you got my attention the old-fashioned way. So what’s going on?” Eddie asks him boxing him in against the wall making it impossible for Ethan to get away from him. Eddie’s cologne and the smell of cigarettes hit him and making his heart pick up a little bit too quickly.

“I didn’t think you’d take him up on it” He mutters looking down between them both, not meeting his eye as shame washes over him.

“Who? Take who up on what?” Eddie asks him and of course, Eddie doesn’t care when it’s been eating him up inside for weeks.

“Garcia,” he says and tries to look away from him but Eddie scoffs out a laugh.

“It was you. You told him how to get my attention” Eddie shakes his head.

“Course it was me, think he came up with all that on his own? Doesn’t have the brain cells” Ethan snaps.

“So if you told him how to make me want to fuck him and you haven’t been coming around to me – why you so worked up about it?” Eddie asks him and he hates when he has to spell things out for Eddie. Hates that he’s jealous of a 23-year-old kid more.

“He’s so fucking young. And Pretty. And Small” and he hates how the spits the word small out but Ethan's struggles with his body issues haven’t exactly been a secret. Lost count how many times he and Eddie have spent car rides across state lines talking about their struggles. “and it’s not even just him. It’s Takeshita too and every other goddamn kid running around here wanting a piece of you, suddenly noticing you because you're hot shit. I was there before all of that” he huffs.

“You don’t think I know that?” Eddie asks him softly bringing his hands down onto his waist. “Only reason I finally gave in and fucked Danny is because he was pushing all the right buttons – buttons you told him how to push sweetheart – he’s not my usual type” He points out. “We were never exclusive but we both know when I had you I wasn’t messing around with anyone else. It’s you who left to go seek out other people, not me. So don’t act like you suddenly aren’t enough for me when it was the other way around” he shakes his head at him that same hurt look flashing across his face.

“I didn’t stop coming around because you weren’t good enough. Stopped coming around because I didn’t want everyone thinking I only got signed here because I was fucking you” Ethan whimpers out finally looking back up at him. “Then you were fucking all those younger guys and I just figured you didn’t want me around anymore. I’d aged out or wasn’t the right type anymore or whatever” he mumbles. Sounds stupid when he says it out loud to him and isn’t letting it buzz around in his head for hours on end.

“Sweetheart” Eddie sighs cupping his face between both his hands softly. “You know you’ve always drove me wild right? Didn’t matter what size you were, we’ve always had something. But you are in the literal best shape of your damn life. Of course, I’m still attracted to you, of course, I still want you. Why’d you think I’m always doing stupid shit trying to make you laugh? Why I was sad when you stopped doing the vlog cause I didn’t have an excuse to come annoy you anymore. I’ve missed you, babe” Eddie tells him gently.

Ethan feels like an idiot. They’ve both been avoiding each other thinking they didn’t want each other for no god damn reason.

“You got anything else to do around here?” Ethan asks him and Eddie shakes his head. “Good. Go get your shit. We’re going back to the hotel” Ethan smirks at him and Eddie nods.

“Yeah, just one more thing,” he tells him and before he can ask Eddies leaning in and kissing him in that way that makes Ethan’s knees weak.

#Mjeffss #my fic #my writing #prompt fill #prompt request #Eddie Kingston #Ethan Page #Eddie x ethan #Esquared? #Eddie kingston / Ethan Page #I haven't written these two yet how are my voices for them?

[senditcolton]

Going to ask kindly on a couple others for Tyson and Maddie if you so kindly would? 💜

11, 15, 19, 44

once again, anything for you my lovely purple heart anon!

11. How do they feel about nicknames/pet names? If they like them, what pet names do they use? If they hate them, why do they feel that way?

They're actually pretty neutral on pet names. That being said, they never use pet names. And again, it's not that they hate them, it just feels weird simply because they had been friends forever. Their relationship isn't this ooey-gooey teeth-rotting cuteness. It's basically [to quote Taylor Swift] hanging out together for the rest of their lives. The first time Tyson tried calling Madeleine 'babe', they both had a reaction of like "eh... let's not." And they never have again. (besides, Madeleine likes people to use her full name so Tyson being one of the few people that can call her Maddie is a form of intimacy in and of itself)

15. Answered here!!!

19. Do they wear each other's clothes/jewelry?

Madeleine steals a few of Tyson's hoodies while he's on the road but she usually wears them just lounging around the house. Tyson's is very cute though. He takes one of Maddie's crystal necklace charms (she's a little bit of a crystal girlie) and wears it whenever he's on the road. He picks a new one every trip which leads to very adorable mornings of him fully packed and digging through her collection of charms while she's still laying in bed. The conversations those mornings go a little like this: "Is this a good one?" "Tyson, they're all good ones." "Yeah but what's like the best one." "The bright green one." "Which green one? You have three." "It doesn't matter, they're all the same stone." "Then why do you have three of them?" "Because they're pretty!"

44. Do they cuddle often? Why or why not?

Oh, they are big cuddlers, Madeleine more than Tyson but Tyson never turns her down. Madeleine is very much a homebody so her ideal night is curled up on the couch in Tyson's arms watching a movie. Or Tyson's head resting in her lap while she's reading. As to why, that's just the level of comfort that they have in each other's presence. They don't have to fill the time with meaningless talk or grand plans. They just have to exist together.

OC/Ship Ask Game

#asked and answered #💜 anon #but thank you for being one of the biggest fans of this series!!! #tyson and maddie are pretty damn cute

[voxiiferous]

Extra! Extra! Exclusive Interview with Overlord Vox!

If anyone else wants to fill this out for their muse, go for it! It's also far and away The Longest sort of these I have ever done for any muse. Hence the read more.

G E N E R A L

[ name ]: Vox... though in life it was Vincent Price.

[ nicknames ]: In life it was Vince.

[ birthday ]: January 19th

[ birthplace ]: Pennsylvania.

[ age ]: Counting since death? 108. If only until, then 40.

[ eye color ]: Red.

[ height ]: 7'0"

[ weight ]: Synthetic parts don't weigh the same as flesh.

[ nationality ]: American... though America doesn't exist in Hell, so... Pride?.

[ astrological sign ]: Capricorn/Aquarius cusp.

[ location ]: My living room.

[ siblings ]: No.

[ pets ]: Just Vark.

[ in the morning i’m ]: Awake? At work?

[ all i need is ]: A vacation would be nice.

[ love is ]: real? Dia and Hellaina are certainly in love.

[ i’m afraid of ]: Failure, mostly. People finding out my secrets.

[ i dream about ]: Work. My life.

H A V E . Y O U . E V E R ?

[ pictured your crush naked? ]: yeah of course. Who hasn’t?

[ used someone? ]: You don’t get to where I am without it.

[ been used? ]: most people have the good sense not to, but yes.

[ been cheated on? ]: It's not cheating if you're broken up. It's not cheating if it's an open relationship.

[ considered cheating? ]: same rules apply.

[ been kissed? ]: I’ve been in a relationship for 50 years. What do you think?

[ done something you regret? ]: ... ("You have to answer the question, Vox.") Yes.

F A V O R I T E

[ food? ]: I haven’t been able to eat in seventy years, at this point, anything.

[ fruit? ]: I probably had more cherries than anything, but that’s just because they were everywhere.

[ candy? ]: I make candy, so V&Vs. (“You’ve never even tried them.”) Irrelevant.

[ color? ]: Blue

[ number? ]: Who’s got a favourite number? (“You’re being paid to answer the question.”) π (“An actual number.”) I don’t even know? 5?

[ animal? ]: Sharks

[ drink? ]: Old Fashioned

[ soda? ]: I haven’t had a soda in a long time.

[ book? ]: Anything other than my engineering textbooks.

[ room? ]: probably my living room?

[ movie? ]: The Old Dark House from 1932-- the original one.

D O . Y O U ?

[ have a boyfriend/girlfriend? ]: Yeah— Valentino for the last 50 years. (“He’s a rat bastard.”) Hellaina doesn’t like him as you can tell.

[ like cleaning? ]: why the fuck would I when I can pay people to do that for me?

[ have a tattoo? ]: nope

[ have any piercings? ]: Also no.

[ cheat on tests/homework? ]: I was the kid people wanted to cheat off of.

[ drink/smoke? ]: do? No, not for lack of desire, just lack of ability.

[ swear a lot? ]: take a wild fucking guess.

[ like watching sunrises or sunset? ]: Eh? Hell’s aren’t really that aesthetically pleasing. Just sort of red and darker red.

[ pray? ]: I thought the whole thing was ridiculous when I was eight, that’s not changed.

[ go to church? ]: not a lot of churches in Hell.

[ have secrets? ]: Consider who I am and the answer is real clear.

[ have a best friend? ]: Yeah of course. Vel’s a delight. (“Seriously? I’m right here.”) And also Hellaina.

[ like your own handwriting? ]: I haven’t had to hand write anything in decades— I wouldn’t even know.

A R E . Y O U ?

[ obsessive? ]: In some things.

[ excited? ]: Not really.

[ bored? ]: Constantly.

[ happy? ]: ... let's not answer that one.

[ missing someone? ]: No one to miss babes.

[ confused? ]: No.

[ tired? ]: At this point I think 'perpetually exhausted' is just a state of being.

[ mad? ]: ("As a hatter,") No, in fact.

[ sleepy? ]: Tired yes, sleepy no.

D O . Y O U . E V E R ?

[ wait around just to talk to someone? ]: People wait to talk to me.

[ write about those ‘special’ moments? ]: What do I look like? A sentimental fool who needs a diary? ("Voxtagram?") Like that's the same.

[ wish you were a member of the opposite sex? ]: Not something I want to bring on myself.

W H O . W A S . T H E . L A S T . P E R S O N . W H O ?

[ you talked to? ]: Hellaina.

[ you hugged? ]: ...does Vark count?

[ you kissed? ]: Val.

[ sent you a letter? ]: An actual letter? Hells... my mother before I died? Email's easier, that's one of the architects.

[ you sent a letter to? ]: If I go email, then the same architect, if I go actual letter, I don't know, someone in life.

[ you laughed with? ]: Hellaina.

[ slept in your bed? ]: Me.

[ you shared a drink with? ]: If I need to drink for it to count, with a couple of people in 1955, if not, probably Val.

[ you went to the movies with? ]: It was a premier, so Hellaina and what sometimes seems like half my staff.

[ yelled at you? ]: An unhappy client.

[ you called? ]: Katie Killjoy.

[ you kicked? ]: Uh... ("Was it that guy from the last hostile takeover?") Yeah, I think. So nameless goon whatever.

[ you saw? ]: ("I'm still right here.")

W H O . I S ?

[ the most handsome person you know? ]: Val probably won't read this, right? Because it's not him, it's Angel Dust.

[ the weirdest person you know? ]: Velvette.

[ the funniest person you know? ]: Also probably Vel.

[ the loudest person you know? ]: That one harpy actress, she's awful.

[ the quietest person you know? ]: I don't know a lot of 'quiet' people, but maybe Adelard.

[ the sweetest person you know? ]: Adelard. Not a lot of sweet people left down here.

[ the most serious person you know? ]: ("It's you.") Nah, it's... not Alastor. Shit, is it me?

[ your best friend? ]: We covered this.

[ the person you hate the most? ]: Alastor. ("Are you certain there?") ...no, you're right, he's too fun to mess with. My former co-worker and producer for the few people old enough to know that reference.

[ the person you see most? ]: To Val's chagrin, Hellaina.

[ your soul-mate? ]: There is nothing but laughter heard for several minutes from both Vox and Hellaina.

W H A T . I S ?

[ the first thing you thought of when you woke up? ]: It's too early for this nonsense.

[ the song that best describes you? ]: [Nothing but a shit-eating grin as he presses his phone and Video Killed the Radio Star starts to play].

[ your best feature? ]: If you say smile I'll demote you. ("No you won't".) My sense of style.

[ your most treasured memory? ]: .........uh. Hellaina's wedding.

I N . T H E . F U T U R E

[ what is the age you hope to get married? ]: It hasn't happened yet so sometime after 100.

[ number and names of kids? ]: Not much of an option down here.

[ where do you see yourself at age twenty? ]: Fucking hell, that was a long time ago.

[ describe your dream wedding? ]: I don't know. To someone I love?

[ when and how do you want to die? ]: Not the way I did, I can say that for certain.

[ what are your career plans? ]: ("Ruler of Hell.") Don't be ridiculous, just... what isn't a heretical answer? I've already gotten as far as I pictured.

[ some place you’d like to visit? ]: Is 'not on Pride when the Exterminators come' a viable option?

L A S T . T I M E

[ last time you went out of state? ]: 1955 when I fell down here, because even counting Pride, I've never left.

[ last time you were outside? ]: Uh... three days? Most things just require going up and down the building.

[ last time you had a snowball fight? ]: I don't even know. Some time before I moved to New York.

[ last time you were listening to music? ]: [Pans back to the song still playing].

O T H E R

[ how many people would you say are good friends of yours? ]: "Four," ("Three,") Yes, thank you Hellaina, I do know your opinion on Val.

[ what hurts the most, physical or emotional pain? ]: What idiot says physical? That can be great in the right circumstance. ("Is the right circumstance after winning a fight with the Radio Demon?") Oh yeah, for sure.

[ have you felt this recently? ]: Of course not. Believe me.

[ what do you wear to bed? ]: Sweatpants.

[ when’s the last time you slept with a stuffed animal? ]: Oh fuck that was a long time ago. I was… 7 maybe? 8?

 have you ever used a ouija board? ]: Once in university.

[ how many rings before you pick up the phone? ]: That is entirely dependent on who is calling. Velvette I tend to pick up quickly, unhappy directors go to voicemail.

#*personnel file (hc) #*cathode rays and rock and roll (vincent price)