#paranoid that my mother is gonna try and hit me!

[b0mblover]

Hate, in Every Sense of the Word.

By: J

major tws for; suicide mention, domestic abuse, abuse, sexual assult mention, murder mention, (really just alot of violence tbh) self harm mention

uh, sorry? that theres so many tws, ig also minor tw for mention of sex too.

uh haha i uh, can you tell what happened tonight? it wasnt even the worst one, just, im tired of it.

talk abt living out of spite bc mannnn, thats all i been going off of for a good while now!

i uh, i really wanna make a certain food bc um. (LOOK I WANNA MAKW A LESS OILY FUCKER OKAY) but my father is awake meaning my mother will be too soon but im scared to even go out of my room bc theyre prob gonna fighttt.

hhhrbd okok ill shut up for now, go ahead and read the angry jirou bullshit ig 😭

(oh yea, if it wasn’t obvious. im talking about my mother in this.)

——————————

yknow,

you havent been a great person

or a good one even.

yet you still question as to why i dont love you

or like you,

maybe you have an idea of how much i hate you.

maybe not

i dont really care about your feelings.

at all.

not now.

i put up with this for fucking 14 years.

my entire fucking life.

ive put up with your shit.

but now?

now im done.

you have no idea how badly you fucked up.

when he said that “im sorry im a fuck up” 

yknow.

he mightve not been right for what he did.

but,

it was just a mistake.

it was a goddamn mistake.

you have any idea how many times ive uttered those words too?

how many times ive repeated them?

how many times i fucking meant it?

just because you “had it bad” doesnt mean shit to me.

you have no goddamn right to treat others the same way.

dont give me that “i dont know how else to act!”

bullshit.

bullshit you dont.

you treated your damn boyfriend just fine!

you had a goddamn kid

you had two goddamn children.

with this man that you fucking DESPISE.

you knew it back then too.

you told me you did.

you fucking told me.

almost nothing can compare to the anger i feel to you right now.

nothing.

you have no right to act like that.

no.

you have no goddamn right to hit another fucking living being.

for such a simple mistake.

i dont care if he talked about it since friday.

i dont give a fuck if he talked about it for months.

you.

you as a goddamn human.

have no right.

none.

in the slighest.

to hit another living being.

for talking about something in your eyes “too much”

or making a mistake.

youre a hypocrite.

need i remind you?

you said that after you broke up with the man you were having an affair with.

that youd be a better person.

stop the fights.

stop the beatings.

stop all of it.

and everything would be okay!

.

i didn’t believe you for a goddamn millisecond.

youre a liar.

just how you said i was.

you didnt quit.

you didnt stop.

hell two months after you hit him again!

you threatened to kill him and yourself!

cmon.

dont you get it yet?

i fucking despise you.

maybe to a degree i feel shocked.

but.

i really dont think thats it.

youre the root of my problems.

every single last fucking one.

——————

need i remind you as how i had to learn to cook, because you were too busy with your damn boyfriend to help me?

.

need i remind you how when i tried to show you that i was fucking cutting myself when i was 9 you only talked about how it looked ugly?

.

need i remind you about how many times you said that you didnt care if i hurt myself as long as no one can see it?

.

need i remind you about how you ignored the rope burn on my neck god knows how many times?

.

need i remind you how you denied fucking multiple peoples sexual assault because “it couldntve been like that”?

.

need i remind you of how many times i almost had to be hospitalized because of your neglect?

.

need i remind you of how many nights i spent alone, in the cold, in the dead of winter, just because you wanted to fuck your boyfriend?

.

need i remind you of what you yelled at me so many times?

.

need i remind you of what i seen?

.

need i remind you of how many times you blamed your abusive behaviors on medication?

.

need i fucking remind you of my entire purpose?

.

i dont care about your feelings anymore.

i gave up years ago.

but now.

i dont feel just numb for you.

i hate you.

in every sense of the word.

.

i dont care of what you or anyone else thinks of me.

.

i dont care about what you think of my appearance.

.

i dont care if you think im too thin or fat or whatever word youll use next.

.

i dont care about what you think because you’ll hate me no matter what.

.

you thought id stop being xxxx when you broke up with him.

you yelled at me.

no.

you fucking screamed at me for weeks.

im tired of even putting in the slighest effort of acting as if i fucking care.

i dont give a fuck about you.

and yknow?

if.

no.

if it would work.

if it was possible.

id fucking kill you.

id stab you.

right here.

right now.

to end my suffering.

to end his suffering.

all of it.

id end it all.

i dont care if its wrong.

because i know no one else knows about whats going on.

yknow.

only one person around here knows what youve done to him and me.

and i havent even met her in person.

yknow.

the people i used to be close with from school.

only just learned you had an affair.

i know that.

the police are do-less.

since you know them.

and hes a man.

not a woman.

it wouldnt be taken seriously.

that he should just fight back.

yknow.

youve ruined what life he has left.

his parents beat him.

his ex wife beat him, and cheated on him.

and here.

youve done the exact same thing.

yknow.

he’ll never get to see how love truely is.

because of you.

because of what youve done.

i cant say i really like him either.

but.

that doesnt give you the right to ruin his life.

.

yknow whats worse?

how i know the only reason that so far youve never dared to lay a finger on me.

is because ive proved that i won’t hesitate to beat the fuck out of you right back.

i know i joke about that night.

but.

really.

hitting you for doing that was the best decision i couldve made.

its kept me safer than i wouldve been for years. 

and even now.

if you were to as so much to touch me.

while in a fight.

id do it all over again.

you maybe 100 pounds heavier than me.

but you dont know how to fight against someone who wont just sit there and take it.

i wont forgive you for what youve done.

even if he will.

.

i want nothing to do with you.

get out of my life for good.

#j writes badly #woohoo i just love living in a very fucked up house its soo great /sarcasm #ughnf whats worse is that if it werent for my parents rn my life would be quiet literally perfect. #holy shit the being pissed at my mother instead of destroying my arm thing is actually working irl holy shit #(actually shoked abt that tbh) #unironically i wanna make a less oily fuck rn. like so badly. bc my parents went to the store and got eggs so i can #oh yea for the new gen folk that dont know all of the j lore (this has been bothering me bc its coming up on the anniversary) #i know how to break someones fingers and make it look like an accident! #turns out theres a specific way thats more common in abuse versus accidents! #dont ask why i know this 🙂 (or do- it reallt doesnt bother me) (also not that i would- /gen) #this is basically me catching everyone up through j lore im not even kidding tbh #and yes. i have hit my mother before bc she wouldnt stop “playing” as i had hot ramen in my hands! #(look. it wasnt the best move at the time but uh. really saved me in the long run unironically!) #THERES FUCKING GEESE FLYING OVER MY HOUSE RN HOLY SHIT #sorry. uh. i cant help it tho. i heard them and it was cute #oh yea even MORE j lore; i have a mildly unhealthy obsession with “being stronger” because im consitently (and rightfully) #paranoid that my mother is gonna try and hit me! #when the whole 2020 chrismas thing (when i hit her) happened i had just got done wih archery so i was still pretty strong #but then eating disorder happened and i quit archery. muscle atrophy etc etc #so like. its a big ass thing i think abt every day now! #yea theres a real reason why i consider my friends as “safe” 💀 #heheheheeeeee when no where else is safe thats just life ig! #oh god i need to brush my teeth fuck. #hhvtbd but my mother is awake :( #HHGBHGBSNS i need to start doing that at an ealier time bc it keeps getting in the way of things #again. how the fuck does smth so simple as brushing my teeth make so much feel better 😭😭 its weird #sighh well! time to go back to trying to find drawing inspo! #(i unironically cannot use my own trauma as a drawing point bc it makes me actually suicidal. thats why i write it! /srs) #CHOKEKSSSJ ok ill hush now!

[estrellami-1]

Steve felt like his heart was about to beat out of his chest. The TV at Family Video was turned on to the news station (the tiebreaker when he and Robin couldn’t agree), and a reporter was saying something about a gruesome murder, limbs snapped, teenage boy suspect, and it all swirled and came together until Steve saw the trailer in the background.

Oxygen evaded him. He gasped, trying to remember how to breathe, how to stay grounded, because freaking out wasn’t going to help anything right now-

“Steve!” The front door banged open and Dustin ran in. “How many phones do you have?”

Steve blinked at Dustin. Managed a breath, another one. His brain still felt like it was swimming through molasses. “Why?”

Dustin rolled his eyes like it should’ve been obvious and gestured to the TV. “I’m gonna call Eddie. And, like, everyone. You know what situation this is, right? And that’s Eddie’s trailer. And he doesn’t know anything about this.”

“I know,” Steve murmured, thinking. “Okay, let’s go.” He spared a glance Robin’s direction. She nodded.

Dustin frowned. “Go where?”

“To go find Eddie. I know where he’ll be.”

“How? Steve? Steve, you don’t even know him. Steve?”

Steve ignored the questions. “Get buckled. You got your radio?”

“Yeah, of course.”

“Good, keep it on you.” Still ignoring all of Dustin’s questions, he peeled out of the parking lot, making his way to the place he and Eddie had promised each other they’d go if shit hit the fan.

He pulled up to the shed and gestured for Dustin to follow as he cautiously walked inside.

“Eddie?” Dustin asked. “Eddie, it’s Dustin, are you here?”

Steve should’ve said something, should’ve let Eddie hear his voice, but it’s too late because he touched the tarp Eddie’s under and suddenly his back was against the wall, a broken beer bottle against his neck. “Eddie,” he murmured calmly, even as his pulse skyrocketed. He vaguely heard Dustin saying something about his mother. “Eddie, put down the bottle, please. It’s okay. It’s just me and Dustin. No one followed us here. I know what you saw, I know what happened. I know you didn’t kill Chrissy, Eddie. I know you’re scared and don’t know what’s going on, but we’re gonna help you, okay? You’re not alone.”

Eddie dropped the bottle with a slight gasp, eyes widening as he realized who he’s looking at. “Shit,” he whispered, gently placing his hands on Steve’s shoulders. They were shaking. “Steve. Did I hurt you?”

“I’m fine,” he promised, his own hands finding Eddie’s waist. “And you? Are you okay?”

“Christ, Steve, I dunno.” He let out a weak laugh and dropped his head to Steve’s shoulder. “She just… she was sayin’ she thought she was crazy, paranoid, and then she’s in the air, and the sound, Steve, Jesus fuck, I’m never gonna forget it as long as I live, and then she- she’s dead, and-”

“I know,” Steve promised quietly, pulling him into a hug. “I know. It’ll be okay. C’mon, my house is safe. We can go there, lay low. Want me to get Wayne too? The trailer’s a crime scene right now, he’s gotta go somewhere else anyways.”

“Yeah. Please. Just… gimme a minute.”

“I’ll give you all the minutes,” Steve promised nonsensically. “We’ll get everyone together, figure out how to beat it. We’ve done it before.”

“Um,” Dustin said, “what the fuck?”

“Watch it,” Steve warned, tracing Eddie’s spine with his palm. “Did you really think the former king of Hawkins High didn’t buy from the best dealer in town?”

Dustin stared at him, disbelieving. “You’ve never gotten high in your life. I don’t think you’ve ever relaxed in your life.”

Eddie murmured something in Steve’s ear that caused him to roll his eyes and pinch Eddie’s side, smiling when he twitched. “You shush,” he admonished before turning back to Dustin. “I have gotten high. I stopped when I started watching you and the rest of the ankle-biters.”

Dustin rolled his eyes. “Okay, so explain this. Explain how cuddling your drug dealer is normal behavior.”

Steve tapped Eddie’s back, who tilted his head up again to whisper into Steve’s ear. “You sure?” Steve asked, and Eddie nodded.

“‘S fine.”

“M’kay. If you say so.” He stroked a hand down Eddie’s back again before returning his attention to Dustin. “Eddie’s not just my drug dealer. He’s my boyfriend.”

Dustin blinked. “You’re not gay.”

“Nope. It’s called bisexual. ‘S when you like both guys and girls.”

Dustin narrowed his eyes. “But… Robin?”

Steve rolled his eyes. “Platonic, like I’ve told you a million times before, you twerp.”

Dustin shook his head. “Wait. You and Eddie?”

“Christ, I’d have better luck talking to a brick at this point. Yes, me and Eddie. Is that gonna be a problem for you?”

“Well, yeah,” Dustin said, like it was obvious, unaware of the way Steve and Eddie and both stiffened at his words. “You’re, like, my brothers or some shit. I don’t want my brothers dating each other. Besides, you both could do so much better.”

Eddie snorted and looked up at Dustin. “Not sure that’s how that works, bud.”

“Sure it is,” Dustin shrugged.

Steve rolled his eyes. “Not the point,” he reminded them both. “Eds, c’mon, let’s get you to my house. Dustin, can you walkie everyone? Tell them to meet us there?”

Dustin shook his head, but brought the walkie up to his mouth anyways. “Uh… guys? We’re meeting at Steve’s house ASAP. Over.”

“That’s not proper form, dipshit. Over.”

“Shut the fuck up, how about that? Over.”

“Fucking hell,” Steve murmured, grabbing the walkie from Dustin. “Listen up, twerps, my house, twenty minutes, move it. Over and out.”

Eddie began to grin at Steve. “‘S kinda hot, Stevie.”

“Oh, god,” Dustin said, screwing up his face. “No. Nope. We’re not going there. Just… let’s go. Before I try to bleach my brain.”

Steve chuckled, smacking a kiss to Eddie’s cheek and ruffling Dustin’s hair through his hat. “Glad you’re safe, Eds. Let’s go.”

#throwing my hat in the ring for the #‘Steve and Eddie were together before everything went down’ trope #is the phrase ‘throwing my hat in the ring’ #or does that mean giving up #I can’t remember #anyways #stranger things #steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #dustin henderson #use your imagination for the other Party member on the walkie #I hope someone likes this. ik it’s overdone but #I had fun #unofficial name is ‘cuddle your drug dealer’ #because I am the funniest person ik sometimes #or maybe just the punniest #starambles

[moonlit-positivity]

Fawn response in trauma is so incredibly hard to talk about and to also identify because its actually quite insidious how this forms as a survival technique in childhood, because that means that they (ur abusers) are so invasive and controlling to your very being that your brain says, the only way we can survive this is to mimic the danger itself, so that we can trick the ones harming us that we are on their side so that MAYBE they'll let up on us for a minute or two...

Fawn response in childhood abuse is absolutely insidious because it can show up in ways like...

- "you're right, it's my fault" in a situation that is clearly not your fault, but you know arguing just escalates the situation even worse

- self sabotage or punishing yourself in order to "save face" or hope that they'll go easy on you

- hitting or abusing urself whenever you suspect they're gonna be mad at you

- if/when they are mad at you, you feel like you need to outwardly show you are suffering and not happy with yourself because they are mad and upset at you

- involuntarily kissing ass or constantly taking the blame even for things you didn't do

- taking on more housework or emotional duties to show you love them and that you arent trying to be "difficult"

- subconsciously picking up and adapting certain kinds of traits from your abuser in hopes that it will bring you closer together, like picking their favorite sports team or becoming invested in their favorite hobbies

Fawning can also look like...

- martyrism/"taking one for the team" or constantly defending the abuser when they are faced with outside criticism (i.e. as a kid I used to get mad at my friends for calling my mother crazy, "thats my mother you can't say that!")

- saving/healing fantasies in which you wish to heal the abuser so you can fix them and finally gain their approval

- being so enmeshed with your abuser that you often feel like you are them, i.e. "i feel so empty, i feel like im just wearing my mother's face and skin..."

- Stockholm & emotional incest, even feeling like you're dating ur abusers or that you're not allowed to give anyone else your attention except them 24/7

- any situation where you feel unsafe unless you are giving constant validation to someone who you actually do not like and do not want to be around, but they are so volatile that this is the only way you can survive this moment. That's fawning.

Fawn response is one that personally makes me sick to my stomach when I think of all the times it's shown up in my life, because of how incredibly sickening the situations have to be for someone to hide their pain and disgust and act in a total opposite way that strips us of our autonomy but also induces humiliation and shame by keeping us "leashed and bound" to our abusers... we mistake our fawn responses for love when in reality our true authentic souls are screaming out in protest...

Healing fawn response comes in restoring your intuition and your sense of self- no, you're not crazy for being paranoid or triggered about that thing they said that reminded you of what you went through, that's your body picking up those same signals that you've already been through!- reclaiming your emotional boundaries, asking yourself how do you define true genuine love and connection with those you love and want to have in your life? Working through the abdomen chakra point, the root of our trust, regaining trust in ourselves to communicate when we feel threatened and to trust our intuition to be vulnerable enough to listen again, to trust our bodies signals... and to trust those around us to hold space for us in ways that make us feel truly safe and supported and knowing if we cannot find that in them that we have the ability to move on and look for people and places that DO hold that space for us... healing the fawn response is all about reclaiming your VOICE and the right to leave or question any situations that immediately make you ick.

#emotional health #fawn #fawn response #ptsd #cptsd #trauma #trauma recovery #trauma healing #healing #mental health #boundaries #relationships #toxic relationships #emotional abuse #fight or flight #survival mode

[4awny]

Paranoid

"Don't walk away from me. Hey, I'm talking to you?" Kenny pulled his shoulder.

Cartman spun around and flinched back. "Will you fuck off already?! Jesus, take a hint." He brushed his shoulder down, sighing dramatically. "And don't touch me." He turned back around to head out.

Getting desperate, Kenny jumped in front of him. Blocking his path, he held his hands out in surrender. "Cartman, please. This is way too deep, even for you. I can't let you do this, I just can't. You need to step away from this."

A huff and an angry grumble, Cartman tried to walk around him. "It's happening. Get over it."

He paced backwards, trying to convince him. "I know you got issues. I know you don't like talking about them, but listen to me. I get it, all right? I really do, I get this feeling in my chest sometimes and I've got this theory-"

"Oh my fucking god, dude." Cartman ran a hand down his face. "I'm warning you, Kenny. Seriously, get out of my way. I need to leave."

Kenny leaned in so he was sure nobody else could hear. Cartman wasn't listening. How could he keep offering to help, when the guy refused to listen? He had no other option. He needed to exploit the root of the problem. "Is this about Kyle?"

"What?" Cartman shot him a look of disgust. "The fuck are you talking about." He grit his teeth and walked through him.

The look itself told Kenny everything. Again, he jumped in front of him. "It is, I know it is. Listen, Eric, I know what you're feeling. I've been through it too. It's hard, but If you just talk to him about it, then-"

"Call me that again and you're gonna get a fucking slap." Cartman interrupted, hating the idea of Kenny calling him by his first name. There was only one person in his life who was special enough to call him Eric, and that was the mother that gave birth to him.

Kenny knew it was all talk. He knew Cartman wouldn't hit him, despite the convincing threats. "You're really gonna throw away your entire life over this?! I understand that you're angry, but I'm telling you, this right here? It's not the way to do things."

Cartman was so bored with the conversation that he turned the other way when being spoken to. He was trying his best to suppress himself and hold back, but his head was getting too hot. It was about to explode.

Trailing behind, Kenny continued to poke and prod. "Do you want me to tell him? Do you want me to tell Kyle? Because I will. If it gets you to stop, I don't care anymore. I'll tell him, Cartman."

"He already knows." Cartman said, assuming he was talking about his plan.

"Oh, he knows? Knows what, that you're completely obsessed with him? That you get a raging hard on whenever he sits next to you?" He grabbed his junk to demonstrate, despite Cartman not even looking at him. "Yeah, like I haven't noticed by the way, or wait a minute. Did you tell him about how you're so deep in the closet that you don't even know you're in there? You tell him that too?" When the words left his mouth, he stopped. Closed his mouth. Swallowed hard.

A cheap shot. It took a moment for Cartman to register what was said and it took him by complete surprise. But then when he turned around, he looked at Kenny like he wanted to kill him. That was it. That was the straw that broke the camel's back. Kenny didn't even attempt to stop him when his collar was grabbed. Cartman made him walk backwards before launching him across a nearby lunch table.

Kenny tumbled from one table to another and then hit the floor like a tonne of bricks. Chairs flew back when he tried to grab onto something to prevent the fall, but found himself being completely disorientated. Nearby students scattered from their seats, preparing for a fight to break out.

Cartman's eyes were fierce with tunnel vision. His teeth were spitting venom and his erratic breathing had a quiet growl to it. The anger stayed with him a few seconds more and then it suddenly left him. The room fell quiet. He looked around to see all sorts of people staring at him, as if he had gone completely mad. It was then, when he realized what he had done.

His eyes fell on Kenny, who was on the floor, stunned in position and waiting for something to happen. Cartman didn't say anything to him, he couldn't find the words. He looked at his shaking hands and Kenny could see this dreaded look in his eye. It was the look of fear.

The brunette backed away slowly and rushed to the nearest exit.

"Are you okay, Kenny?" Someone asked. Kenny mumbled out a yeah and he got to his feet.

Across the room, Craig already had his eye on the two. He knew some kind of argument was happening, judging by their body language. To him, it looked as though Kenny was trying to stop Cartman from leaving. Either that, or Kenny was just being annoying. He did consider that.

But then he saw Kenny go flying and he immediately jumped out of his seat.

Chapter 28. <<<<<< to see the rest :-) ty to everyone!! cant believe its been that long already lol

gonna shout out my bestie @mesamstas for the cat idea and being a gr8 artist x

#it hasn't been that long #ok maybe it has #the last time i updated was before the queen died #LMAO #South Park #crenny ao3 #crenny #kyman #eric cartman #kenny mccormick #Craig tucker #kyle broflovski #kyman ao3 #ao3 sp

[rphelperblog]

Hayley Marshall Kenner Quote RP Meme

inspired by @badasshybridqueen​ @paststories​

I'd rather rip your mother's head off.“

“Why are you trying to fix your family when it’s clear so much of it is broken.”

You are all class.“

Oh, I still think you're a bitch. I've just grown to like that about you.”

Remind me to annihilate your brother once you're healthy.“

You want to help me? Help my people.“

All knocked up and nowhere to go.“

"Make art. Use your voice. Have adventures. And have at least one totally epic love. And be every bit of yourself."

“Who the hell are you?”

“I love you. I always have loved you.”

“i’m here as a mom.”

“He died loving me despite it.”

“I realized I wasn’t just protecting myself.”

“Everything I do is for her.”

“Too bad, i forgive you.”

“That’s what family does, we fight for eachother.”

“I never knew that I could love something so much. It’s scary like it migt kill me.”

“If i died and someone through a part, I would be so pissed.”

“Want to say that again and see what happened?”

“Just tell me who you want me to kill.”

“Or maybe I stopped running.”

“She can go home.”

“In your paranoid mind, no one can be trusted.”

“Don’t you get it. your the threat.”

“Let me check his calender- wait, not his wife.”

“I have claws.”

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep,”

“Fight back.”

“I will make them suffer for this.”

“But you will be forgotten.”

“I feel like we are connected somehow.”

“You guys done? This mucho stuff is cute and all but don’t make me come kick both your asses.”

“Ew, no never.”

"And I want to make you a promise, three things that you will have that I never did. A safe home, someone to tell you that they love you every single day, and someone to fight for you no matter what."

I'm sorry that it takes me being in danger for you to even talk to me.“

Just for once, would you please trust me that I say I will do something and it will get done?“

“you want more?”

“my pleasure.”

“I have tried to play nice. But the last month of pregnancy is all hormones and mood swings. so unless you want me to snap your arm like a twig, I suggest that you tell me what is going on.”

Hey there, witch bitch.“

“I know you were just using me as a way of saving your people, but try it again and I will kill you.”

You will not take my baby. I will kill all of you.”

Have I mentioned that I've had a rotten couple of months?“

Well, every good story needs a wicked witch. It'll be all the more satisfying when we melt her.“

"And you have hit your complaint quota for the day. Congrats, ou Are officially the worst."

"I want you to know that I didn't marry you for all of those people. I married you for me."

Awesome. Then we can do that thing where you lock me in the tower, I escape, there's drama, and then you two both realize that I'm capable of taking care of myself.”

They want a seat at the table, and if they don't get one, I can guarantee that you'll all regret it.“

If we can't all learn to get along, if our families can't create some sort of community, then what's the point? Kill each other and get it over with.“

Over the years I've had my share of friends, enemies, lovers, losses and triumphs. With time they all begin to run together. But you will find the real moments are vibrant. The rest just fades away. Your pain will fade.“

I saw the way you looked at me before and the way you look at me now. I was a mother, now I'm a monster. Things are different now. You can't tell me that they're not.“

I'm gonna go find our daughter.”

So you're having weird, retro sex dreams. Get over it. I'm staying.”

You will not believe the crap day that I'm having.”

#open to all #open to anyone #open rp #ask meme #rp meme #open meme #open to anybody #roleplay meme #ask prompt #memes #open starter #ask rp meme #meme starter #meme rp #hayley marshall #hayley marshall kenner #rp plots #plot inspiration #plot inspo #wanted plots #plot musings #plot ideas #wanted plot #open tvdu roleplay #open tvdu rp #open tvdu starter #tvd rp #tvd starter #open tvd rp #open tvd roleplay

[levi-supreme]

Rei, Rei! How was the pregnancy with Renée? How did you deliver the news to Levi and maman heheh

Lots of hugs :3

🥰

Charlotte my precious I— 🥺💖 I adore you so much TAKE MY LOVE!!!!!!! I'm gonna answer this below the cut because knowing me, I'm going to go sappy and talk too much.

Warnings: Block the tags #levi x rei and #reivi to avoid the cringe. It's EXTREMELY cringey hehe. Also talks about pregnancy and all that jazz so. Don't mind me and my unhinged thoughts.

So. It happened after the events of Dance with Me. It was about two weeks after Levi's birthday, and then I got worried because my period wasn't here. I was paranoid because my period was always regular, so I felt something was up. Levi and I bought a home pregnancy test kit, and oh boy we were so damn nervous when we were waiting for the results. That five minutes of waiting felt like the longest five minutes ever. Levi kept pacing back and forth, and I was just sitting on the chair fidgeting around and..... nervously waiting for time to pass.

And then..... once five minutes were up, we checked the kit and.........

We saw it. Two lines. On the test kit.

It took us a while before we registered that oh. It's positive. It's a baby. WE'RE HAVING A BABY. WE'RE GOING TO BECOME PARENTS. And then Levi and I just hugged each other and cried because we never expected ourselves to be so lucky (like.. oh god. We hit the jackpot on our first try...? hehe >//<).

We didn't know what to do, so Levi called Hange to ask for help because they were a gynaecologist. Hange then arranged an appointment for us at the hospital they work at, and that's how Hange became our gynae hehe. And somehow, Hange got Moblit along too, so they were the first two to know about our pregnancy.

Levi and I decided to wait before telling Maman partly because of superstition haha, and also just to make sure every thing went well, because Hange told Levi that the first trimester is the most crucial time. Once we were sure that everything was going well, we asked Maman over for dinner one night. I was about 10 weeks pregnant and even though my bump was tiny, it was kinda obvious too. After dinner, we told Maman to join us in the living room, and then, Levi just... casually slid over a sonogram on the table XD

Maman was like "eh?" until she took a closer look and realised what it was 🥺 she was really happy for us too!! We all just hugged each other and wept tears of joy haha. And then... knowing my mother-in-law..... she casually commented, "is the baby a birthday baby?" and then Levi and I just went (●__●) because... uh... indeed the baby was the result of some hot steamy birthday s*x LOL. She touched my bump and guessed our baby is a girl XD

But yes!! Aunty Kuchel was so supportive during my pregnancy, and Levi was being so attentive to me too. This was our first child, and we were all so careful with everything. My morning sickness was pretty bad at first, and then it got better by the second trimester. We listened to every thing Hange and Moblit told us to do, and we even started to baby-proof our house. Levi even wanted to buy books on parenting and all that to read.

Deep down, I know he's scared and worried, because he grew up without a father, and he's afraid that he can't be a good father to our baby. I told him I didn't have confidence that I'll be a good mother too. No one is born a good parent, and we learn along the way. I told Levi that I had absolute faith that he's going to be the best Papa in the world.

Come 16 September 2016..... my contractions started in the afternoon. Levi was so worried, he flew me to the hospital where Hange and Moblit worked. I didn't tell Levi, but I was really scared. What was I afraid of? The pain? Perhaps. Levi stayed by my side throughout. He was also really nervous too, but he tried to hide it.

Come 10-ish pm or so... Hange said I was really close, and you know... it's the part where you keep going 'PUSH!!!!'. And let me tell you.....

Ow. The pain??????????? I angrily told Levi that I am never giving birth again. I clenched his hand so hard while I tried to push. And then, at past 11pm, Renée Naomi Ackerman was born 💖

When Hange passed her to me, and the moment I saw her, I felt like all the pain I went through was worth it. Levi and I brought a little angel to this world, and we are going to give her the best we can. Of course, there was lots of crying (from me XD). Levi tried to hide it, but I know he shed a few drops of tears too. Moblit told him to cut Renée's umbilical cord and Levi was like ????? hahaha. Moblit had to guide him on how to cut the umbilical cord and boy let me tell you.... that moment was so precious too.

As much as we don't show our children favouritism and bias, Levi and I both know that Renée will always be our favourite child haha, because she's a (literal) gift to us ❤️

----

Okay this is all for my little journey with Renée hehe. Of course, if you wanna know about the twins and/or baby Charlotte, then hehe let me know. I adore you a lot my darling Charlotte, and thank you for sending me this 💘

#charlotteplsdosth.asks #rei.answers #levi x rei #reivi #I AM SO UNHINGED FOR LEVI #please levi just one chance please #i love levi so much #also yes i have renée's origin story and charlotte's origin story posted #you can probably guess.. yes i'm writing about the twins' origin story too hehehe #anyway thank you charlotte #you are always so kind and supportive towards me #i adore you #also i hope i answered your question XD #please send me more if you like too!!!

[sherlkore]

The Marvel Rp Chat OCs as the song lyrics on my Spotify playlist

@nyxphie 's OC: Luna Marsh - Dirty Hands (Kendra Dantes)

You can follow me down

Don't be scared what you may find

Some say I'm different now

I think I've lost my mind

There is evil inside

Shadows haunt me at night

I try to win but lose the fight

Don't turn out the light

@blueboirick 's OC: Rick Banner - Paranoid (Palaye Royale)

All the nights I wasted tears

All the disappearing years

For a while was in denial

My mother's least favorite child

Is all these fucking voices in my head

Tell me I'm not good enough for them

They just leave me paranoid

Paranoid, paranoid again

@msrochelleromanofffelton 's OCs:

Liane Felton - Bubblegum Bitch (MARINA)

I'll chew you up and I'll spit you out

'Cause that's what young love is all about

So pull me closer and kiss me hard

I'm gonna pop your bubblegum heart

I'm Miss Sugar Pink, liquor, liquor lips

Hit me with your sweet love, steal me with a kiss

I'm Miss Sugar Pink, liquor, liquor lips

I'm gonna be your bubblegum bitch

Rochelle Romanoff-Felton - The Family Jewels (MARINA)

Ooh, don't you find it strange?

Only thing we share is one last name

Did I beat you at your own game?

Typical of me to put us all to shame

Welcome to the family jewels

Coal to diamond, sold to fools

Welcome to the family jewels

Simmerin' sapphire can't keep his cool

I can't keep my cool

Cassandra Ashfield (+Arete Lokidottir *my oc*) - They're only Human (Death Note The Musical)

They will pray, curse, live, die

Never knowing their truth is another man's lie

Eat, sleep, love, hate

Like a leaf blowing in the wind

Watch them all vacillate!

They're only human

They can't see

All the years they could give you and me

Only human, after all

So they give and they take

'Til their silly hearts break

Looking down from above

I'm intrigued by their love

@jackiequick 's OCs:

Estella Strange - I did something bad (Taylor Swift)

I never trust a narcissist

But they love me

So I play 'em like a violin

And I make it look oh so easy

'Cause for every lie I tell them

They tell me three

This is how the world works

Now all he thinks about is me

Amelia Morris-Parker - Nothing New ( Taylor Swift)

I've had too much to drink tonight

And I know it's sad, but this is what I think about

And I wake up in the middle of the night

It's like I can feel time moving

How can a person know everything at 18 but nothing at 22?

And will you still want me when I'm nothing new?

Hope they all fit!💖💖

#marvel #oc #oc rp #marvel roleplay

[captain-krow-drozdov]

~Excerpts From My Latest Nightmare~

________

Me, in the cab of a car(truck?) in a dark ass fresh rain style wet parking garage with some dude in the driver's seat: Why The Fuck Are We In A Parking Garage Located In A Gods Damned Void?????

Guy, messing with some piece of equipment: We are here to investigate the supposed haunting of this place by a murder victims ghost oooo~

Me: Ah Of Course Why Would I Think Anything Else. Mmmhmm Totally Normal Friday Night Activity, Does Anyone Perchance Know Of Our Nightly Escapade Or Are We Fixin To Be A Buzzfeed Unsolved Case?

Guy: Stop being so paranoid we're going to be fine, now c'mon we got a haunting to investigate!

_______

Me and the Guy™ stopping for the first time in what feels like forever in this hell abyss: Listen Let's Just Go Home We Can Get Pizza And Watch A Movie Back At The House Or Somethin.

Guy: no we haven't been here that long let's just explore a bit-

Random ass baseball doing two little stutter bounces out of the shadows and rolling to a stop between Me and the Guy:

Me and the Guy, stare at the ball then to where it came from then look at each other: ...

Me, turning on my heel and speed walking back in the direction of the car: Nope Fuck That Stay Here And Die If You Want But I'm Going Home.

Guy, picking up the godforsaken ball and running after Me laughing: Dude it's prolly just some kids fuckin around it's fine!

Me, speed walking back to the car: If You Don't Start Acknowledging The Obvious Paranormal Bullshit That's Been Happening Imma Kill You And Make This Place Double Haunted.

______

Me and the Guy back in the car after I lock the doors: Cool Let's Leave.

Guy, in driver's seat checking camera: yeah hold on lemme just check the footage

Me: You Can Check The Video At Home Let's GO.

Guy, annoyed putting stuff away: fuck fine let's go.

Guy turns on car/truck the lights blaring on as somethin fuck off big sized moves in the darkness:

Me: Mmm Fuck That Go Go Go If Something Gets Infront Of Us HIT IT Do Not Stop Just Drive!

Guy: I'm not just gonna hit it what if it's just a person Jesus stop being so paranoid!

Me: Mother Fucker I Swear-!

Cab lights in the car/truck start flickering, radio starts playing and scrolling rapidly through stations as all the lights and warning noises start going off all at once in a sensory overload hell:

Me and the Guy start cursing each other/the world out and trying to get shit to work before everything goes completely black and suddenly we are outside the parking garage on the main road and the car is working fine again:

Guy out of breath white knuckling the steering wheel: holy shit we're alive??? Fuck I didn't get that on video!

Me, damn near hyperventilating: Fuck The Video Fuck That Place Let's G O.

Guy, calling down and buckling his seatbelt: alright shit fine okay just buckle up and we're gone.

Me, lifting my already buckled seat belt up with my thumb in an "already ahead of you" way before looking up in the rear view mirror only to see a reflection of a person/humanoid with glowing eyes in the backseat: FUCK-

Humanoid thing in backseat lurches forward with it's mouth unhinged and I assume dream Me and Guy fuckin died cause I woke up.

#Nightmares/Night Terrors My Beloathed #I Might Rewrite This With Some More Flavor And Put It On My AO3 Later Or Somethin #Captain's Posts #captain is rambling again

[julies03c15]

No one has any idea how much pain I am in every. single. day.

Due to my depression, I have no energy. I can’t clean my apartment. I can’t shower or brush my teeth.

Due to my anxiety, I’m awkward in social situations. I can’t talk and make friends easily.

Due to my Bulimia, I overthink everything I eat. If I take one bite of some chocolate, I think I’ve ate too much and then I start to plan how to make up for it.

Due to my BPD, I switch moods in the split of a second, and I do it a hundred times a day. I think everyone hates me. Then I know they care for me. Then I hate them. Then I love them and I blame myself. Then it’s their fault and they’ve never been good friends. Then it’s my fault and I’m a horrible friend. Then I try to off myself because the world is better off without me.

And the next day, it repeats itself.

Do you have any idea how tiring it is? How much I hate myself? If you put a simple . at the end of a sentence, I think you hate me. I get paranoid and I might hurt myself.

Then I start to think about everything in my life that hurts me, and I cry and I don’t stop. I post on social media because I want your attention.

I want you to look at me, and I want you to see and hear me. I want to hear the words “it’s okay. I’m here” instead of “I can’t handle this right now”.

I know I’m a lot but I can’t help it.

You don’t think I know how much I can be? You don’t think I realise that I stress people out?

My mother used to faint because she was stressed about me and the way I act, but I can’t control it.

I wish I could, but I live with this constant fear that everyone are going to leave me, so I’d rather push everyone away.

I don’t know when I’m the one being too much, or when I have the right to react the way I do. I don’t know if I’m the problem, or if I have a reason to be hurt.

But I can tell you this…

I have been hurt by being told “I can’t handle this right now” while I was in the hospital after an OD.

You can’t handle it, but neither can I. I am lying here, hating myself for failing. Because why can’t I do anything right? I can’t even off myself.

I have been hurt by being told “I’m gonna take a step back from you because I need a break from all negativity in my life”

That hit me and it felt like someone had punched me straight in the fucking guts.

I am sorry that I cause your life negativity. I am sorry that you can’t handle being around me, but neither can I.

If that’s how you feel, then leave. I don’t care anymore. I don’t want to go through this over and over again.

If I’m too much, then spare me now instead of later.

This is probably just my borderline talking, but I am so angry with everything and everyone.

I am angry because even when you hurt me, you make me feel like I’M the problem.

I’m tired.

[young-dumb-and-vaccinated]

Cult Girl: Doctorate (Hannibal x Pregnant!Female!Reader) pt. 14

Hannibal reads too much into Max's attempt to reconcile and cult girl revisits her past.

@wisesandwichshark @pearlstiare

Trigger warnings: discussions of death, abandonment, military casualties, emotional abuse

You soon returned to the opera knowing you had nothing to hide. Hannibal selected for you an off-white maternity gown so form-fitting it was practically painted on. He wanted everyone to see that you, his queen, empress and goddess, were carrying his child.

It only took that evening for the whole dynamic to change. Suddenly, you were an expectant new mother. Imogen had been a massive hit, you were planning to go again.

You were affixing your heavy cubic zirconia earrings when you heard a knock at the door. You hesitated, but hurried down the stairs when you saw who it was.

"Max?" You said, upon opening the door. He stood there awkwardly, holding a bouquet of flowers. "Hi?"

"Hey, [F/N]." Max greeted, eyes darting nervously around the porch. "I just came around to apologize in person. I'm sorry I was such a chauvinist prick."

You leaned against the door. "Oh?"

"You were right." He continued. "I don't know what it's like to carry a baby, and, unless something goes very wrong, I never will."

"Let's hope it doesn't come to that." You smiled.

"Anyway, these are for you." He said, handing the bouquet over. "They're chrysanthemums."

"Thank you, Max." You said, accepting the flowers.

"Archie and I-" He scratched the back of his head. "We thought that, maybe, if you'd still have us, that we'd name the baby Chrysanthemum. With your permission, of course."

"Like the picture book?" Your face lit up. "With the little mouse girl?"

Max nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah, exactly."

You hugged the bouquet into your chest and considered it again. You looked back at Hannibal, who hadn't looked up from his expectant fathers' website for a second all day. He surrounded himself with books about child psychology, attachment theory, developmental behavior patterns and somehow found himself on a tangent about institutionalized misogyny in medicine.

"I'm sorry, Max." You said, sincerely. "I really do appreciate you coming down here and apologizing, but-"

Max put his hands up and gave you a disarming smile. "I understand. Plans change."

"I just really want to stress that it's not you." You assured him. "I've kind of... really grown to like the idea of being a parent. And I think that was Hannibal's plan all along, too."

"I believe a congratulations is in order, then." His voice turned up in delight. "I'm very happy for you. Both of you."

You clutched the bouquet to your chest. "Thank you."

"Well, I'd better get going." He stepped backwards down the stairs. "I've got three pints of Ben and Jerry's in the backseat and Archie'll have my head if I come home and they've melted."

"Max, wait." You stopped him before he could get down the driveway.

"Hm?"

You leaned against the threshold and smiled warmly. "Don't be a stranger, okay?"

Max returned the smile. "Of course not."

You waved goodbye and shut the door. You hurried to the kitchen to put the flowers in water before you had to go.

"Who was that, love?" Hannibal asked, half-heartedly. He was still very fixated on his research.

"Max Thomas-Park." You answered, unwrapping the flowers from the decorative plastic.

Hannibal looked up from his computer, but left the room silent for you to fill.

"He wanted to make amends." You explained. You walked across the room to the china cabinet and selected a vase big enough to hold the ornate bouquet. "Brought flowers and everything."

"Chrysanthemums?" He asked, sniffing the air.

"I see your sense of smell is coming back." You commented.

"Interesting selection." He narrowed his eyes on the bouquet.

"Well, he said that was what he wanted to name the kid." You offered. "It was a cute pitch, not gonna lie."

Hannibal shut his laptop and examined the bouquet up close. "If he wanted to express regret, he would have done better to bring you blue or purple hyacinths."

"Well, like I said." You made a point to project a little more. "He said he wanted to name his daughter chrysanthemum."

"Mums are given to show sympathy for those in mourning." Hannibal continued, clearly having his own conversation.

"Hannibal-"

"I think your cousin got her hooks in him and he's planning to--" He cut himself off, lest he speak the unthinkable into reality. "That's why he brought mourning flowers."

"Max Thomas-Park is conspiring with Anna to kill our unborn baby?" You said, flatly, to emphasize how insane he sounded.

Hannibal held a bloom between his fingers and looked closely at it. "It's the kind of hint I would leave. For courtesy's sake."

"I think looking at parenting blogs all day has made you a little paranoid." You observed, knowing full well that an overprotective husband and soon-to-be father of your child was not a bad problem to have. Nevertheless, you shut the laptop and touched his cheek. "Come on. We're going to be late for the opera."

You heaved yourself into the passenger's seat of the car, feeling the seat give beneath your heavy frame. Every time you got into the car, you remembered that you needed to shop for a car seat. The thought just as soon left your mind every time. 

“We need to look for a car seat.” You said as Hannibal shut the door, hoping that he’d remember. 

“I mean,” Hannibal blurted out, still lost in his own conversation. “Max is a cultured and well-educated man. He has to know the implications of his flowers.” 

You huffed, dreading to think that paranoid delusion was symptomatic of his parenting style. “Right. The twenty-seven year old data analyst who graduated with a finance MBA from UChicago is also proficient in the outdated and frivolous language of flowers.” 

“In Italy, mums are only given as comfort for loss.” Hannibal said with undeserved conviction. “Exclusively, [F/N].” 

You rolled your eyes and typed something up on your phone. You raised your eyebrows, feeling a bit proud of yourself for what you found. 

“In Korea, y’know, the country that Max’s family is from,” You corrected. “The chrysanthemum is a symbol of friendship.” 

Hannibal tensed up for a moment, tightening his grip on the steering wheel. It was as if he were trying to break himself out of a trance. “...I’m sorry, darling.” 

“I know you’re scared.” You stared at his profile, trying to make out an expression. “I’m also... pretty scared. But you can’t take it out on a guy who has nothing to do with it.” 

“I am scared.” He affirmed, but the way in which he did was a telltale sign that he wasn’t giving you the full story. 

“Of?” You raised your eyebrow. “Finish the sentence, Hannibal.” 

"I need to keep our baby safe." He answered. "And I cannot in good conscience let her come into the world knowing that someone wants to hurt her. To hurt you."

You sighed. "Hannibal, are you seriously still worried about Anna?"

"Don't underestimate the role privilege and entitlement plays in the decision to commit acts of violence." He enunciated carefully. "You of all people should know that."

"Anna has cultivated such a perfect victim image to project outwardly that even a hint of proactive violence would shatter it." You explained. "She's the poor girl who has things done to her. Her evil cousin ruined her marriage. Her evil cousin destroyed her career. And she's the innocent victim in all of it."

"Logically, I know that you can speak on her behavior with more authority than I." Hannibal admitted.

"No shit." You scoffed. "I had to live with her."

"Can we at least entertain the idea that she has something planned?" He pleaded.

"I'm surprised at you." You said. "You never really struck me as the overly-cautious type."

Hannibal shook his head. "With my own life, I'm willing to gamble. But not when it's you. And not when it's Imogen."

You tensed up. His admitted willingness to put himself in danger unlocked a core memory you had buried deep down. The only thing you knew about your own father was that he was willing to put himself in danger. To go overseas and die for fuck-all instead of live for the child he selfishly created then abandoned. He chose to give his life for oil. You didn't choose to grow up without a father and your mother didn't choose to raise a child without a partner. He made that choice for you.

"Now what are you not telling me?" Hannibal broke you out of your trance. "I know that look, [F/N]."

"Nothing." You shook your head. "You should really not plan on dying anytime soon."

"I promise you, I am not going anywhere." His voice softened. "Least of all, to Iraq."

"Okay, you're a pretty good therapist but you never told me you could read minds." You threw your hands up in defeat. "Are you a psychiatrist or are you Loki?"

"As fun as being the god of mischief would be," Hannibal smiled to himself. "I just happen to have a steel-trap memory and an admittedly quite obsessive fixation on the mental health of the mother of my child."

"I swear to god I never told you about him." You denied. "Not even in passing."

"You didn't have to." He assured you. "Beatrice did."

You were surprised for a fraction of a second until the information sat in your head long enough to realize it wasn’t surprising in the slightest. Beatrice took every opportunity she got to brag about her son's sacrifices. She never once mentioned the sacrifices he forced upon you. Only that her son was a hero.

"Did you get the 'don't believe anything [F/N] has to say about my son' speech?" Your voice flattened in complete non-surprise.

"It was a prepared speech?" Hannibal chuckled. "Pity. I thought I was special."

"She gave it to my first boyfriend." You rolled your eyes. "We were, like, fifteen."

"The root of your psychological issues becomes clearer every time we talk about Beatrice." He commented under his breath.

"I know." You conceded.

He pulled into the parking lot, turned the car off and placed his hand over yours.

"Your father was a coward." He said, bluntly. It was nice to hear what had been echoing in the back of your head out loud for once. "I know no country to serve. No god to glorify. I promise, you have the whole of me. My mind, body and soul belongs to you and our child."

You squeezed his hand. "I couldn't ask for anything else."

#hannibal lecter #hannibal x you #hannibal x reader #hannibal nbc #cult girl #more cult girl #cult girl doctorate #cult girl 2 #tw death #tw family #pregnant reader #hannibal x pregnant reader

[goodnightmemes]

DEXTER SEASON TWO SENTENCE STARTERS (PART ONE)

Lines taken from 2x01-2x06 of the show Dexter. Feel free to change pronouns or edit in any way to better fit your needs. Here is part two.

❛ It's not what I want, for what I want doesn't matter. This is the only way I know how to survive. ❜

❛ I really need... to kill somebody. ❜

❛ You're in control of your urges, not the other way around. ❜

❛ Can we please secure this motherfucking crime scene ? ❜

❛ It's not him that you miss. Because what he had to offer wasn't real. The way he made you feel about yourself...That was real. ❜

❛ I'm just trying to figure out some way to feel alive! ❜

❛ This stuff never gets to you? ❜

❛ I'm more of a crying on the inside kind of guy. ❜

❛ This neighborhood? It's full of crazies. I'd lock my doors. ❜

❛ Tons of options: Everglades, alligators, pig farms, sulfuric acid, wood chipper, incinerator. Hell! Even meat pies. ❜

❛ So this is the man who stands between me and death row. ❜

❛ There is no such thing as the perfect crime. Not in my experience anyway. ❜

❛ If I believed in God, if I believed in sin, this is the place where I'd be sucked straight to hell. If I believed in hell. ❜

❛ I'm not so much doing this to you as I'm doing it for me. ❜

❛ Now, it makes sense. That's where you disappeared to at all hours of the night like Clark fucking Kent. ❜

❛ If the eyes were a window to the soul, then grief is the door. ❜

❛ I've been preparing for this my entire life. ❜

❛ I'm sure someone with a heart could answer that question. ❜

❛ You know those words don't mean anything, right? ❜

❛ Get used to food references because... I like food. ❜

❛ I go to stalk a killer and I end up with a new car. How did that happen? ❜

❛ Nothing stays buried. ❜

❛ Everyone in that room has heard or lived far worse than anything you've ever done. ❜

❛ The worst killers are usually the ones who think their murders were somehow... just. Even deserved. ❜

❛ You just hop from one lie to the next, no shame, no embarrassment, you just don't give a shit. ❜

❛ You're lying to yourself if you think you don't care. ❜

❛ I'm not sure of what I am. I just know there is something dark in me. ❜

❛ Things, people, who never mattered before are suddenly starting to matter. It scares the hell out of me. ❜

❛ You were right. I'm sorry to wake you up, but I had to let you know that you were right. ❜

❛ In our most paranoid moments, we fear that everyone is talking about us. That's become my reality. ❜

❛ It makes me feel like the whole world could explode at any moment. ❜

❛ I don't have a badge. I have a laminate. ❜

❛ You haven't got the first idea who you are, have you? ❜

❛ You don't kill this many people because it's a chore. You do it 'cause you like it. ❜

❛ I've always been good with parents. The key is to simply think of them as aliens from a distant universe. ❜

❛ The last guy I had sex with tried to kill me. ❜

❛ Okay, this is the first time I regret not being a bigger nerd. ❜

❛ He asks you a question, I want you to think of your answer first and then tell him the exact opposite, okay? ❜

❛ You know, I've been thinking about you breaking up with me, and, well, I don't think it's in your best interest. ❜

❛ There are no absolutes. No one's all good or evil. ❜

❛ You make yourself into a monster so you no longer bear responsibility for what you do. "I can't help it. I'm a monster. "Of course I was gonna do that. I'm a monster." It's sad and it's pathetic... And it breaks my heart. ❜

❛ You don't think there are monsters in this world? You don't believe people are evil? I'll show you evil. ❜

❛ For the first time, I feel the future might hold something different for me. It's possible I'm just fooling myself, but I'm willing to take the risk. ❜

❛ I suddenly find myself weighing the benefits of electrocution versus lethal injection. ❜

❛ Sweet mary, mother of fuck, that's good! ❜

❛ I never expected to get better. ❜

❛ You think you're charming, don't you? ❜

❛ And you're not the least bit pissed off that this man got away with murder? ❜

❛ Healing is all about focusing your rage on the person that's hurt you. ❜

❛ I'm not the person I'm supposed to be. It's like I'm hollow. ❜

❛ I hide in plain sight, unable to reach out to people close to me. I'm afraid I'll hurt them. Like I've hurt so many others. ❜

❛ If you can't be happy for me, then maybe you shouldn't be here. ❜

❛ You made me into what I am! ❜

❛ If you turn back now, you'll go right back to the way you were...hollow, angry, alone. ❜

❛ I will get you through this. I swear. Just come back to me. Okay? ❜

❛ You ran a background check on my boyfriend? ❜

❛ Imagine that... a life with no more secrets. ❜

❛ Everyone has a moment when they realize their value system is different from their parents'. ❜

❛ Rumor has it you have a knack for attracting serial killers. ❜

❛ Sorry if I was short with you this morning. I'm lost without my morning coffee. ❜

❛ I thought you were different than ____, but you're the same. Actually, you're worse. You made me trust you. ❜

❛ I have been patient and understanding, but there's only so much I can take. ❜

❛ What in the name of fuck are you doing up so early? ❜

❛ When I get pissed, I say stuff I don't mean all the time. "I hate you," "I faked it," "You're hung like a grape." ❜

❛ Stop being a douche bag and go fight for her. She's fucking perfect. ❜

❛ I heard what you said. I just don't take orders from you. ❜

❛ You want to hit me? Go for it. I've been waiting for a chance to take your ass out. ❜

❛ Nobody fucking listens to me! ❜

❛ Last time, you came back covered in blood. ❜

❛ Apparently my new life involves a love triangle. ❜

❛ The voices are back. Excellent. ❜

❛ I've spent years looking the enemy in the face, and I'm telling you ____ is dangerous. ❜

❛ Chin up little sister, these things have a way of working themselves out. ❜

❛ You attacked those people because you wanted to. ❜

❛ All my life, I've done what someone else said I should do, been who he said I should be. I followed his rules, I stuck to his plan. I never stopped to think about what I wanted and what I needed. And now I don't know who I'm supposed to be. ❜

❛ I will kill you. I have to. I just don't need to. It's very empowering. ❜

❛ There was a time I would have done anything to protect ____. I would have even lied. But today I told the truth... even though I knew she'd get hurt. ❜

#sentence starters #sentence meme #rp meme #ask meme #inbox meme #rp memes #*tv #*dexter #*mine

[lazychickensoup]

i really don’t know what this is but single dad bokuto is fun fosho

——————————————————————

“Bokuto I had so much fun tonight. The pier was a great choice.” you smile up at your boyfriend. He has a lazy smirk on his lips and his eyes scan over all your features just adoring the person in front of them.

“Yeah, I had an amazing night as well y/n.” his smile fades a little. He looked as if he was hesitant to tell you something.

“Bo? Are you okay?” you reach up to hold his face. He takes a few seconds before taking a deep breath and kissing your hand.

“Yeah, I just need to tell you something but I don’t know-how. I feel kind of bad for keeping a secret for the past two months.” he sighs. You hug him reassuringly and he wraps his arms around you tightly.

“I promise whatever it is I can handle it. We’re adults Bo, I’m not gonna go crazy.” you squeal as he picks you up to where you are now looking down on him. You both share a long kiss before he breaks away.

“Alright, is it okay if I bring you back to my house?”

“Are you trying to make a move on me? It’s gonna be the first time I'm at your house.” you joke.

“No no of course not baby.” he laughs and carry’s you back to the car.

You two drove a while to his house, not to your surprise it was very nice. You’d expect that from a professional volleyball player though. Bokuto nudges your arm, you turn to him and he gives you a quick kiss. His eyes were full of worry and he was fidgeting with his hands. You place your hands on his stroking you thumb across his knuckles. After he clamed down he led you up to the front door. His keys jingled as he was unlocking the door and you could hear tiny taps on the ground from inside. Then a thought came to mind. On your first date you had told him that you didn’t like dogs because they make your anxiety bad. You thought cute that he was worried about upsetting you over something as small as this. When he opened the door a little girl wearing his MSBY jersey on.

“Daddy! You came home eary!” the little girl jumped in his arms he picks her up and swings her around. She giggles happily hugging his neck.

Daddy, huh. Out of all the things I was expecting, this was the last of them.

One of Bokutos friends, Akaashi, walked from behind the door and greeted us. He got on to the little girl for going outside with out his permission and talked to Bokuto for a little while.

“Thank you so much for babysitting Akaashi. You remember Y/n right?” He looks over to me and smiles and softly.

“Of course, it’s good to have someone else babysit Bokuto for a little while. You three have a nice night.” He says walking back to his car. We all wave goodbye as he drives away.

“Daddy who’s that?” the child ask. Bokuto turns his body to face you so she could get a better look. You smile at her sweetly and wave but she shys away in her father arms.

“Bug this is y/n. Her and daddy have been hanging out alot recently and I wanted you to meet her.” Bokuto explainssteping closer to you. “Y/n this is Akemi, my daughter…” he look at you with hopeful eyes searching for a positive response. You carefully put your hand on Akemis back rubbing it slowly.

“It’s nice to meet you Akemi.” she lifts her head up at you looking back to Bokuto and you a few times. She plays with her fingers nervously just like Bokuto does. You study her smaller hands and her other facial feature. She looked just like Bokuto, almost like a twin.

“It’s nice me meet you too Miss Y/n. Are you the reason why Uncle akaashi keeps coming over to watch me?” You and Bo laugh, he pats her hair ruffling it.

“How about we go inside and I can explain okay bug?” she nods her head andn Bo leads you into the house. When entering the living room you saw blankets strategically held up and pillows making a walk way. Akemi jumps down from her dad’s arms and runs over to the fort.

“Look daddy! Me and Uncle ‘Kasshi made a fort!” she proudly yells. Bo chuckles at his daughters random burst of confidence. He sits you on the couch and places Akemi in his lap.

“Okay i’m gonna tell you whats going on but remember…”

“...the ugly words stay in my head. I know daddy.” she finishes his sentence for him. Bokuto was surprisingly very mature with his daughter. You could already tell that he was a great father. Though you were still a little in shock that he had one because that means she has a mother as well.

“Good job. Okay so, me and Y/n have been...going on dates. This is daddys girlfriend. Okay?” he speaks slowly, like she was going to explode if he said the wrong thing.

She sat and thought for a moment both of us scared, then she finally gasped and yelled.

“EW DO YOU TWO KISS AND STUFF THATS GROSSSSS!” We both erupt into laughter to the point where we were tearing up. I take her hand and whisper to her.

“Of course we don’t boys are stinking and gross.” she giggles and crawls into my lap.

“So what do you do then?”

“We go on some dinner dates. Sometimes your daddy will surprise me and take me somewhere fun like the movies.” I explain.

“Ohh can I come next time? I wanna see the new Kitty Force 2!”

“Well Miss Akemi I don’t see a problem with it if your daddy doesn’t.” she turn to him quickly wiht a pleading face.

“Please daddy. Can I go on a date with you and Miss Y/n? I promise I’ll be super good and clean up my toys.”

“Of course baby. It’s time for you to go to bed though it’s already 9:30.” Bokuto lifts her up and kisses her cheek which she does back to him. I wave goodnight and wait patently while they get ready for bed.

About ten minutes later Bokuto comes back into the living room. He tells me that Akemi wanted me to tuck her in tonight because she had something important to tell me. I tuck her in while Bo stands in the door. Akemi pulls on my sleeve and I turn my head. She rubs her sleepy eyes and sits up again to grab something from under her pillow. She takes out a handmade braclet and hands it to me.

“What’s this for?” I ask as she slips it onto my wrist.

“It’s a present because you make daddy happy and that makes me happy.” She lays back down looking up at me. “We are gonna be best friends okay? So we can have lots of playdates.”

“Yes ma’am. Goodnight Akemi.”

You and Bokuto head back to the living room. You sit in his lap as he just gazes down. Again he isn’t speaking his mind. You lift his head up with your fingers placing a gentle kiss on his lips. “Bo, don’t be so paranoid. I love her already. This doesn’t change anything about us okay?”

He lets out a relieved sigh and relaxes against the couch. Every negative thought he’s had for the past couple of weeks about you two meet had fled his mind.

“So, tell me more about her.” you say rolling over to get your own seat on the couch. His eyes widened at the thought of rambling about his little girl.

“Well she is 5 years old. Me and her mom met in college but when she found out she was pregnant she didn’t want anything to do with her so she left her to me. I haven't heard from her since. I think I'm doing a fine job though. She’s so sweet and funny. She wants to be a volleyball player just like me so we go out and practice on my days off. She’s terrible right now but I know she’ll get there one day. Akemi is my whole world. That’s why I was so nervous about you two meeting. I love you and all but if you two didn’t get along…I just have to put her before anyone, but I really didn’t want to lose you.”

His face held a saddened expression while yours held shock. Out of the 6 months you were dating you had never heard Bokuto tell you that he loved you. You didn’t say it either just out of fear that he would say he’s not there yet.

“You love me?” Bokutos eyes grew as the realization of what he said hit him. His face burned a bright pink.

“I- Well um yes. I’m sorry if it was too soon it just kinda came out.”

“I love you too, Bokuto. And I promise that I'm gonna love that little girl as much as you do.”

He smiled wide and fell onto your chest hugging your torso tightly. You both fell asleep like that in each other's brace. Only to be woke up in the morning by the paw patrol theme song.

#koutarou bokuto #bokuto x y/n #dad bokuto #bokuto as a dad #haikyuu drabbles #haikyuu #akaashi keiji #akaashi #bokuto #akemi bokuto #might make this a series #it’s my birthday #lol #🥢🥡.drabbles

[robinofinashiro]

request from anonymous: “hello! May i request for a levi fic where his female s/o sneaks out when he's asleep and sneaks in when he wakes up but he notices it. She seems like she's cheating and he gets hella angsty about it but when he thinks he's gonna catch her, it turns out she was planning an anniversary surprise with the help of their friends and he gets hella soft :> modern au or not depends on you hehe” 

pairing: levi ackerman x fem! reader (modern au)

note: omg, i’m a fuckin dumbass and read that as birthday instead of anniversary. i hope it’s okay if that’s what i wrote instead. 

request status: CLOSED

it had been going on for a few days now. you would sneak out of bed at random hours of the night, sometimes going to bed extremely late and not return back until almost the crack of dawn. 

Levi hated to think and assume things but a gut feeling was starting to form. He tried to suppress it but his mind started racing whenever he would feel you leave the bedroom when you assumed he was asleep and not come back or when you would tell him you were going to hang with Hanji but he saw them not even a few hours later alone. 

he confided in Erwin, hoping he would calm down what Levi was thinking but neither him or Hanji would try to deny it. they would just claim he was being a bit paranoid and he should have more faith in his wife. 

Levi loved you. more than he ever thought he would love anyone else. you were there for him when his mother passed. when his two closest friends passed. you knew everything about him and you knew he NEVER confided this much of his past on anyone that wasn’t Hanji or Erwin. 

+ 

you were one of the newest teachers at Scout Academy. you were the newest teacher in what felt like years. you were there to be the trainee’s newest commander and although the position had been vacant for a while now, when you arrived, it was kind of a shock to the entire academy. 

you were sweet, soft spoken, and extremely friendly. you weren’t like Hanji who tended to scare people of with their rants about science. you sure weren’t Levi who just scared people in general, and as for Erwin, being that he was at the head of the chain of command, no one really sought out to be his friend. 

you tended to make friends with everyone who ranked beneath the three. Moblit and Petra being your closest friends. 

the day you unintentionally got close with Levi was one he wasn’t even expecting to happen. you had been dealing with a rowdy group of new trainee’s and weren’t able to calm them down for whatever reason that day. they weren’t just listening to you and every time you tried to reprimand them, they would go back to doing whatever they were doing. 

“hey Levi?” you asked, knocking softly on his door. he heard your voice from the opposite side and welcomed you in, “I don’t mean to intrude on your work time but the 108th is acting extremely out of hand right now and won’t listen to what i’m saying. I would get Erwin but I don’t think it’s that bad.” 

Levi shoved himself away from his desk and marched to where you were training the kids. upon his arrival, some realized that Levi walked in, however; others didn’t and continued their shenanigans. 

Levi walked to the nearest rowdiest kid and flipped him to the ground, shoving his boot to his jacket so he wouldn’t get up. 

“all of you going to be here, cleaning, training, and following mine and her orders until dinner starts and after that, you’ll be doing laps around the facility until it’s time head back to your bunkers.” 

they were all shaking in fear as Levi screamed at them to get started on doing their training regiment. you stood on the side, instructing them on what they were doing wrong or what they could improve on. 

he could see that although you were angry at your students, you couldn’t treat them the way Levi did. you saw the trainee’s almost as your kids and even though they reached your last nerve, you continuously praised them for getting something right. 

Levi’s office was right next door to your training facility so he heard your commands now and again and he couldn’t help but wonder how you got to handle your trainee’s to listen to you so well without screaming at them sometimes. 

“where did you come from before this?” Levi asked you suddenly. you smiled, taking a sip of your tea, “oh, I worked for the Military Police Brigade for six years prior to this,” he shuttered at your confession, “I worked right under Nile Dok as his second in command until he retired and put Hitch in charge. she changed my position to work in another section and I quit not even a few days after.” 

Levi laughed at the disorganization that came from the Military Brigade. he knew that out of everyone, they were seen as the lowest of the three ranks so to hear that you came from the most prestige rank to work with them, he couldn’t help but want to rub salt in the Brigade’s wound. 

“right.” 

“and I must admit, the Scouts is a lot less than crazier than I thought it would be. everyone who found out of my position change told me that the Scouts wasn’t the job for me because of my prior experience with the military police but if I’m being honest, the Scouts is a lot less judgemental and I must say, less hectic.” 

the lunch bell rang indicating that everyone was due on break for an hour. after you dismissed your trainee’s, you looked to Levi. 

“would you like to have lunch with me? I brought more than enough from what I made last night!” you asked excitedly. Levi’s mind raced for a moment, “sure.” 

he followed you to where your office was placed. it was in the second story office level where Petra’s and Moblit’s offices were. the highest floor was placed for only Erwin, Levi, and Hanji so he hardly made it down to where their assistants worked at. 

Levi saw the few plaques that were hanging on your wall. they were all of your accomplishments from when you worked with the brigade. the shiny green unicorn made his scoff until he saw your photo. it was you holding the certificate from when you first got approved to work with the brigade as you dawned the brown jacket with your last name etched on it. 

“I made beef stew! I hope you like it. I cooked the meat in a Instapot cooker all day and the meat turned out really soft and moist,” you explained as you poured copious amounts on a disposable bowl, “I was saving some for Moblit and Hanji but since you did help me out, I figured it would be my way of repaying you!” 

you put the plate in front of him as the two of you sat on the small wood table. Levi unintentionally moaned making you spit out in laughter. your laugh caught the attention of Hanji and Moblit who were going to have lunch together to discuss a few things in his office. 

“hey, Captain Levi is in Vice Captain ( your name )’s office!” Moblit explained as he saw you hyperactively talking to Levi. Hanji immediately turned around, basically rushing to the small window you had that. 

they saw Levi’s ghost of a smile on his face as he just nodded to whatever you were talking about. Hanji’s eyes widened, knowing they were not going to be able to keep this to themselves. 

+ 

Levi felt you get out of bed, getting quickly dressed in outwear before running out of the room and go into your car. he sighed, sitting at the edge of his bed, running his hand through his hair as he slipped on a shirt and grabbed the second set of keys for his car. 

he wanted to follow you so he could finally get confirmation on his assumptions. a part of him didn’t want his suspicions to be true but Levi knew that if he didn’t get answers, he would explode on you. 

your location on your phone was still on so it didn’t take an idiot to find you but when he finally saw your location, his heart dropped to his stomach. you were at Erwin’s second office across town.

that office was only used for extreme and dire situations. like when the Military Police and the Garrison Regiment had to gather together to handle something together. 

were you cheating on him with Erwin? and using his second office as the place to have your escapades? 

Levi’s heart felt like it was about to break as he saw Erwin’s car parked in the parking lot. your car was right next to his. 

the brutal winter made the wind hit his face and feel like it was about to burn. he hated that you had to do all of this so you could have an affair with his boss, especially because the holiday season was literally about to approach and he had gotten you one of the most perfect gifts. 

a promise ring. 

Levi entered the building, heading into Erwin’s office to catch a recording of your cheating session so he could have solid proof when he finally confronted you about it. 

as he opened his phone, he felt a stray tear roll down his face as he saw the photo of you two as his background. you were giving him an annoyingly happy kiss on the cheek as his face said that he was extremely annoyed at the situation, however; the smile that played said different. 

Levi put his ear to the door, expecting some moans and whispers of each others names but what he heard was the complete opposite. 

he heard Hanji screaming about something as you tried to quiet her down. 

“Hanji, pay attention!” you yelled, “Levi’s birthday is on Christmas and since I don’t really feel like celebrating it on the 25th, I booked his venue for the 28th which is a Saturday night. I want everyone who works with us to attend but since it’s a surprise, Erwin you’re going to have to make sure to keep him occupied.”  

Levi’s heart swelled hearing what you were saying. you weren’t cheating, you were planning his fucking birthday! 

he kept hearing the plans until he realized that all of you could walk out at any minute and catch him. Levi quickly got into his car, rushing back home as he saw that your location said you were on the move. 

Levi felt himself physically sigh in relief that all of his assumptions were wrong. a bit later, he felt the bed slump down as you got into bed and snuggled into his chest. your hands were still cold from the wind but he immediately brought you into his brace, feeling you melt in his arms. 

maybe that promise ring had to be changed into something else.  

#attack on titan #Attack on Titan Imagine #attack on titan x reader #aot #shingeki no kyojin #shingeki no kyojin imagine #shingeki no kyojin x reader #snk #levi ackerman #levi ackerman imagine #levi ackerman x reader #anime #anime imagines #anime imagine

[kirieshhhka003]

So, yandere Jotaro hc’s?

Thank you for your request, my dear anon💚

Warnings: yandere behavior, kidnapping

Yandere! Kujo Jotaro headcanons

Jotaro is a natural yandere, its hard for him to grow liking someone, not saying anything about love, but if somebody captured his attention, they won’t get rid of Kujo easily. Well, let’s be honest, they won’t shake him off, it’s really impossible

Kujo always acts cool and it seems like he doesn’t care or even annoyed by darling and their behavior, but on the inside he deeply appreciates them and their personality. It’s hard for Jotaro to admit that he does have some warm feelings towards someone, but the fact that he’s in love with S/o doesn’t make it easier in any way

And he hates it, hates to realize that he’s dependent on S/o, on their mood, their wants and morals. Their every word can change his opinion on lots of things, and he hates it. And the most terrifying thing is that Jotaro can’t do anything about it, he can’t just isolate himself from darling, it’s already too late

It’s not a secret that he has PTSD after the event in Egypt, and because of this his possessiveness hits all the scores. Everyone is his enemy now, and Jotaro feels physical need to protect his darling from everything, and to make it easier, he needs to have control over them, needs them to be somewhere safe, somewhere like his house

It doesn’t take much for him to kidnap his darling. He’s strong, dexterous and smart, plus, he has a huge-ass house and a lovely mother, who is ready to do anything just to make her son happy

When Jotaro came home early in the morning, all covered in dirt and dust, holding someone unconscious in his arms, Holly got really scared. She thought that her son got in a fight and this person needs help, but there was something wrong about it. She looked at his face and it was so peaceful and... satisfied?

Black-haired walked by Holly, saying “Everything’s good now. Don’t worry about it, mom”. Mom? Did he really called her mom? It’s took a few minutes for woman to realize what just happened, and she understood everything. And the most terrifying thing was that Holly was completely okay with what happened

Jotaro is extremely possessive and gets jealous easily, but because he kidnapped darling on the first steps of his obsession growing bigger, it’s almost unnoticeable. S/o are locked in his house all the time, no one but Holly sees and interacts with them

Kujo is very paranoid, he truly feels like everything is going to harm S/o, he doesn’t allow them cook because he thinks that they may try to kill themselves. Jotaro so scared of a thought about losing his dearest, that sometimes he can’t even sleep at night. He just lays in their shared bed and watches gentle raises and falls of darling’s chest, making sure that they’re alive

If darling behave well, Jotaro is head over heels for them. He’s very needy in private and yearns for affection, blue-eyed loves to lay in bed with S/o, talking about random stuff. Black-haired likes to share his knowledge with darling, he explains them how some things in ocean work, difference about some fish species and a lot more

Jotaro is very attentive, he cares about darling’s health and regularly invites SPW doctors to check on S/o’s well-being and to help them with traumas and all the injuries they got from their punishments

It’s hard for Kujo to initiate physical contact at first, so if darling are the one, who starts it, he’d be over the moon from happiness. He’s very touch-starved and yearns for S/o’s attention, Jotaro engulfs every little bit of affection they give him

Jotaro’s way of showing affection is very subtle and almost unnoticeable, it’s all about little gestures and details. His love for darling is most apparent by the way he looks at them - he stares at S/o longingly, likes he’s gonna tear them limb from limb. His pupils widen and his blue eyes become completely black

Jotaro is a calm yandere, but he will punish darling if needed, and he doesn’t mind hurting them. If S/o tried to run away from him, Kujo would find and bring them back home, breaking their legs as a chastising for trying to leave him

Black-haired loves to show his dominance over darling and uses every opportunity to do so. He mostly does it through words, calling them his bitch. They are his property, and Jotaro doesn’t give a fuck about anything(but them ofc)

“You’re not going anywhere, you belong here, with me. I don’t care about your opinion or what you want, you will behave, either you like it or not”

Masterlist | Smut Masterlist

#jotaro kujo #kujoh jotaro #jotaro kujo headcanons #jotaro headcanons #jotaro cujoh #jotaro cujoh headcanons #jojo’s bizarre adventure #jojo headcanons #jojo #jjba #jjba headcanons #jojo part 3 #stardust crew #stardust crusaders #stardust crusaders headcanons #jojo yandere #yandere #jjba yandere

[local-space-case]

Bakugou Katsuki is Not A Loser

Word Count: IDK

Rated: T (mention of abuse, self-loathing, cursing)

AO3 Account: FerociousFerret (out here only posting first drafts on a whim why?)

When Bakugou sees the looming  silhouette of Endeavor at the hospital outside of Todoroki’s room, he thinks he feels a million emotions at once.

Some he’s familiar with like fury, annoyance, and the protective fire he venomously denies exist are the ones off the top his head. But there’s also fear. An emotion he’s embarrassedly familiar with. A deep anxiety clawing it’s way out of his chest while still somehow keeping a tight grip on his lungs. It commands he stay rooted in the middle of the bleach white hallways that even so quiet he thinks they must be louder than he is. He wants to say something. He wants to yell, scream, curse, kick the fucker out the goddamn window, but he can’t.

Until the number piece of human shit takes a step closer to the door.

“OI! You can’t fuckin’ go in there!”

It comes out like the nasty snarl he was hoping for. The pro hero glances at him with a look disdain before reluctantly taking a step away from the door. Bakugou assumes he must not want to cause a scene. Doesn’t stop the stubborn shit from arguing with him though.

“He’s my son, I have a right to visit”. His tone was clipped, formal, placating, like he was delusional enough to think Bakugou was going to lose this fight.

Bakugou Katsuki was not a loser.

“Last time I checked, trash belongs outside not stinking up disinfected air.” He lets his gaze linger on a door across the hall. “Besides, I don’t listen to losers.”

Endeavor seems to puff up like a pissed off cat. God, so that’s where Strawberry Shortcake gets it from.

He looks like he wants to beat Bakugou into the ground and Bakugou lives by the philosophy of ‘If it can crawl, it can brawl.’, so he’s up for anything this fucker has to offer. But he doesn’t, instead he closes his eyes and inhales like he’s having an fucking asthma attack.

“You shouldn’t insult your elders.” Endeavor says after a beat. Bakugou huffs a laugh.

“Or what? You’ll hit me?” It’s an attack and based on the way the hero recoils, he knows it. Everyone knows it. Everyone knows it because it was broadcasted on live television. It was like a car crash, so gruesome but you just can’t tear your eyes away until you see that everyone is okay.

However, like a car crash, it’s abundantly clear that no one in the Todoroki family is okay. But, Bakugou didn’t find out when the crash happened. No, he knew the truth deep down when he saw the unsteady swerves of one of the drivers who had the audacity to essentially give him first place at the Sports Festival.

Bakugou thinks about that moment a lot. Usually at night when he can’t sleep because he feels like someone’s watching him, he wonders what Todoroki saw that snuffed out the fighting spirit he’d paraded around before their round.

He’s young, but he’s not naive. Not anymore. He knows, undoubtably, that during their fight Half ‘n Half didn’t see Bakugou’s drive to win, he saw his father’s flaming fists.

He feels his usual scowl paint itself onto his face, “How does it feel knowing your entire family is afraid of you?” The older man doesn’t say anything, deciding that floor is much more interesting than the conversation Bakugou wants to have. The conversation he needs to have.

“Number One Hero, hah?,” he mocks, “You know, that’s really fuckin’ funny. That’s a hoot ‘n holler. You could be a stand up comic.” he gives a pause waiting for a reaction. He doesn’t get on.

“Too bad they don’t like sacks shit lyin’ around.” A pause. “You didn’t answer my question by the way, so tell me, how does it feel knowing your whole family is afraid of you? That you have no friends because you decided you didn’t need them, you only needed to be on top. Well,” a sharp bitter laugh echos through the hall, “congratulations.”

He stalks up to Endeavor and gets up in his personal bubble. He can see a blue eye trained on his own red ones. With a pointed grin, the blond knows he has the man’s attention now, so he keeps going.

“How does it feel knowing that you lost? And before you open that fuckin’ cavity ridden mouth of yours, you’re gonna listen and you’re gonna listen good.” Endeavor had tried to open his mouth to object because apparently the idea of losing something was getting to him. Bakugou could deal with this.

“How can you call yourself a hero after everything you’ve done? How do you do that? How do you sleep at night knowing that the so-called number one hero can save a civilian but fuckin’ torment his family?”

Endeavor is trying to ignore him. He can tell because his eyes are once again back to the floor. He won’t let him though.

“How does it feel knowing that, after all these years, even though you won, you lost.”

Bakugou is, and has always been competitive. He wants to be the best, he needs to be the best, because only the best people can be heros. He’d always adored All Might growing up, but not the same way Deku did.

When Deku saw All Might, he saw a beacon of hope, a peace bringer, an unstoppable force of nature. He saw a role model. A mountain of a man who was as strong as a tiger, yet gentle like a rabbit. Someone who uses their power for good instead of evil.

When Bakugou saw All Might, he saw a winner. A strong man who beat villains into the ground and obtained more money and praise than anyone else could ever hope for in a lifetime. He didn’t see a man, he saw a king who had kept a tight hold on his crown. He wanted to take it. So, yes he liked All Might for his position of power, but he respected Endeavor.

Endeavor may have been the number two hero, but Bakugou saw himself in him. He saw the fights on tv with the walls of fire, the punches, the yelling, he saw it all. Endeavor was not like All Might, he never backed away from a fight, never bothered to try and find a peaceful resolution, but he always won. He won with fiery fists and scowls and he didn’t smile for the press, he wasn’t fake.

Bakugou thought he felt hate for Deku, but now he knows better. This is hate. This feeling in his heart that’s screaming, hurting, burning.

This is hate.

This is hate because he can see his reflection in this monster draped in human skin.

He sees himself pushing Deku away because he thinks he’s superior, kicking, hitting, burning, screaming, he can see it all. He can see Deku become smaller and smaller and he remembers how happy it made him because Deku knew his place and that meant he won.

He sees Endeavor hitting his wife, screaming til he’s blue in the face at Todoroki, his siblings tear-streaked faces when they realize Touya is never coming home. He sees Todoroki’s determined expression flicker with fear before dropping to the ground like a rag doll. He sees Endeavor’s please smirk turn into a sour scowl because his son didn’t get first, he didn’t win. He sees Todoroki sitting in the main area while all their classmates pack up to go home for the holidays with raised hackles and paranoid glances at the slightest noise. He sees what once was Todoroki Touya on live tv telling the whole world his father’s sins and he wants to make him pay.

He sees the ambition, the anger, the low tolerance for anything that isn’t the best, the need to be the best at everything all the time but, Endeavor didn’t win, did he?

Endeavor became the number one hero because his rival fell, but he did not win. He was a martyr to the public, but a monster to his family. He was the monster under bed, the demons in their heads, the footsteps they should fear, and the man they should not love, but worship.

He took and took and took until his family had nothing left to give. He sleeps at night uncaring that his family don’t have a home they have a graveyard full of phantom memories of the lives they never got to live and the dreams they never got to chase. They get the ghosts in the mirror, a walking corpse for a body, and the perpetual state of mourning the love they’d never receive.

Then again, maybe Endeavor didn’t win or lose, because you can’t win a game you aren’t even playing. The moment he insulted, or raised a hand to his wife or children, he was disqualified.

Bakugou knows he’s no saint, but he’s not a loser. He’s worked hard to get his head outta his ass because he already loss. He lost his best friend and any dream filled nights that may have come to him. He learned.

Shaking his head out of his thoughts, he glances back at the man he’d looked up to and respected for many years. A man he hopes karma kills as slowly and subtly as he had with his family. He huffs.

“Yeah, I don’t like losers. Now, go the fuck home before I call security.”

He backs away but doesn’t leave the doorway as the sack of shit made the right choice and shuffled away. Bakugou makes a noise of satisfaction.

The explosive blond glances inside Todoroki’s room where the staff drugged him up on sedatives and silently wills him to get better. He’ll never say it out loud, but they were friends, and he did care.

(He also fears, that maybe, the news is right about how insanity runs in the family and that maybe he didn’t chase Endeavor off fast enough before Todoroki lost it completely like his mother and brother. Bakugou hopes that maybe he finally did something good.)

The vibrating of his phone jolts him from his thoughts and he reads the notification.

Shitty Hair: hey bakubro we wanted to know if ur still coming to movie night

Shitty Hair: no stress tho!!! a lots happened so we get it if u wanna skip

Another huff of laughter, this time less bitter, escapes from his lips.

He allows himself to smile and tells Kirishima he’s on his way and that they better not start without him. Yeah.

Bakugou Katsuki is a lot of things, but he’s not a loser.

#reblog #bnha bakugo katsuki #bnha fanfiction #bakugou angst #bnha todoroki #bnha endeavor #bnha kiribaku #bnha kirishima #bnha izuku #bnha oneshots #bnha angst #bnha 305 #ao3 todobaku #todobaku #tododeku #bakudeku #kirikami #shinkami #dabihawks #bnha dabi #bnha 302 #bnha all might #bnha touya #bnha incorrect quotes #fuck endeavor #character study #ao3 feed #bnha ideas #bnha funny #todomomo

[jaywritesfics]

Since requests are open could I get platonic c!Tommy x female! reader?

Okay, so reader is almost perfect Technoblade copy. She is god at PvP, genius tactician and can build very well.

She never settles down, or at least it seems like it. She has a base far in the nether, hidden from everyone but not many know that. To people it seems like she is always on her way, gathering resources and training, always on the move.

One day, she saves smol (like 9-13 year old Tommy) from mobs and decides to help him with training (reader is already an adult). They form a parent-child bond and reader becomes this mother figure to him. However, reader after some time wants to leave, and does so, some time before events of the smp starts. She was kind of controlling the whole situation, as in as long as she was there she was the mediator for everyone, basically unofficial ruler of the server. The moment she disappeared, everything crumbled.

So, time skip to Tommy's exile when his mental and physical health is declining, reader returns from her adventures and stumbles upon him. She is angered at what had happened and after taking care of him and making sure to bring him to the normal state, she goes straight to the cities to bring back balance by kicking some ass.

I'm leaving ending up to you, hopefully it won't be this complicated

Good luck ❤️❤️❤️

OMG I LOVE THIS!!! I’m sorry if this seems a bit rushed... (Because it was...) I really wanted to get this done before the school week because I have so much stuff to do. I will make a second part since this was kinda short and not the entire story I had planned. I will try to get the second part out as soon as I can but for now I hope you enjoy this! I hope I did your request justice!

|Burning Pile |Part.1| Platonic c!Tommy x Reader|

Warnings?: Swearing, Angst, and mentions of suicide.

Request?: Yes!  Thanks lukerycyja for the request!

Pronouns?: None used but female reader implied. Also sorry if this isn’t completely accurate to the canon smp storylie its been so long since I’ve watched any of Tommyinnits Lore streams due to school work, so please cut me slack if I messed up on any of that stuff...0-0 

Extra notes?: Part two is on it’s way soon!

“Shit…” You’ve been traveling the surface for hours and you just now realized you forgot your axe at your base. You groan in annoyance and find a nearby tree and sit down to relax because your feet had started to hurt and you open your bag and take out some apples to eat. You usually come to the surface every other month for food and resources, as you live in the nether and it doesn’t have cows and pigs… Well unless you can call those Piglin actual pigs.

“Okay,” You begin to say to yourself, 

“I forgot my axe and now I have to go all the way back to my portal…*sigh*, why do I do this to myself?” You take a bite of your apple and you just sit and take in the scenery. When you spot a couple of tree stumps and a wood wall not too far away from where your sat.

 “Oh shit.” You say aloud, dropping your apple. You hear the sound of humming coming from behind the wall and you stand up to hurry and get out of there…You never interact with anyone… your by yourself all the time... You used to have company though. A little boy you saved so many years ago. Tommy. His name was Tommy. You basically raised him for years… He was like a son to you. You trained him to fight and fend for himself when he eventually grew up and didn’t need you anymore. You haven’t seen him since you decided to leave. Why did you leave? You can’t quite remember. You hear a voice coming from behind the wall… it sounds so familiar. You near the wall and you place an ear against it to listen in on whoever is behind it. 

“Why Tubbo? Why. Why? Why?” The voice sounds even more familiar than before, Is it who you think it is? If so, who's Tubbo? Maybe it’s not him… It couldn’t be… You walk around and spot an opening and you peer around the corner. You see the backside of the person. Short yet untamed blonde hair, Red and white tore shirt and ripped tan pants. It’s him… It has to be… You step inside the structure, tears rolling down your face. 

“Tommy?” You say in a shaky voice. He turns around eyes wide. He has bags under his eyes, and the once light blue color has faded to blue-tinted grey. He stares at you and his jaw drops. A single tear falls from his eye then he shuts his mouth and turns away covering his ears with his hands.

“Dream whatever sick game you're playing I’m not falling for it! One of these days so help me I’ll kill you!”  Dream? Who is… Shit, You’ve been gone so long you can’t seem to remember a single damn other person. 

“Tommy, I don’t know who Dream is but… it’s me… Y/n… I- I’m sorry for leaving I just…”

“Just stop!” He throws a sword at your head but it just misses you and hits the wall beside you. 

“Now come on I taught you better than that…” You say to him, walking up to him and kneeling down to look him in the eyes. 

“It’s really me Tommy-” You try to finish your sentence but he already has his arms wrapped around you. You can feel teardrops falling on your shoulders and you can’t help but start crying too.

“Y/n… I missed you! Why did you have to leave! You bitch!” He hugs you tighter as he speaks, more tears rolling down his face.

“I’m sorry Tommy I just… I don’t remember… and- I- I’m sorry…” Your makeshift “family reunion” is interrupted by an arrow flying past both your heads. You stand up and turn around to see a tall man in a green hoodie with a mask with some silly face on it. It must be that Dream guy Tommy was talking about. 

“Who the fuck are you bitch?” He says pointing his crossbow at you. 

“What did you just call me? Also, a 5-year-old called, he wants his arts and crafts project back.” You say, he tenses up and takes a step forward.

“Leave now or I’ll put an arrow in your head, bitch.” He adjusts his crossbow and you reach for the bow and arrow on your back and in an instant you fire an arrow at him, piercing his arm. 

“Now I could have put it through your head but I like to look my victims in the eyes when I kill them… it's more fun that way.” You tell him with a huge grin on your face. He drops his crossbow and pulls the arrow out of his arm and takes an ender pearl out of his pocket and throws it in the distance and he disappears within seconds. You look behind you to see Tommy shocked and crying. You kneel down, pick him up and start walking him over to what seems to be his bed. You set him down and give him one of the apples in your bag. 

“Are you okay Tommy? You don’t seem well.” You tell him, wiping the tears from his eyes. 

“I’m- I’m fine-” He tries to get his words out but he passes out and you quickly pick him up and hold him in your arms. You can still feel him breathing so you don’t worry too much, but you also can’t help but cry. You lay him down and you put his blanket over him. You decide that he probably is just stressed out and needs sleep so you let him rest. You take this time to hunt down some cows and pigs for food. You walk around paranoid that Dream might come back and try to hurt you or Tommy. You bag about 2 cows and 4 pigs and just as you return from hunting you see Tommy sitting on the bed with his face buried in his hands. You drop your kills and you walk over to sit down on the bed beside him. 

“You feel a bit better? If so then I gotta ask you… What are you doing alone out here all by yourself? You’re only like what, 16 at most? When I left, you had friends and other allies… how did you end up all alone?” You question him, he looks at you angered,

“How did I end up alone? How did I fucking end up alone?” He then stands up and starts to yell at you,

“You fucking left me! You left me with nothing but a couple of years of bloody sword training and the mentality of a soldier! I thought you actually cared for me like a son… But no, you just saw me as another helpless little boy who needed your guidance… Well, I don’t need your help! I can’t be helped! I’m the one who got exiled. I’m the one whose friends betrayed him!” His voice goes from a yell to a soft stern voice.

“I tried to build a nation… It was amazing... but I fail at everything. It crumbled...I should have never even tried… I should have offed myself when I had the chance…” He’s on the floor on his knees, sobbing with his head in his hands again. You stand up from the bed and kneel down to hug him. 

“Tommy… I’m so sorry that that’s how you felt about it… I had no idea how I really affected you… Tommy… I- I’m so sorry… I do love you like a son Tommy... And you’re the best son anyone could ask for… your not a failure, you deserve to live… but may I ask…”

You release him from the hug and look at him in the eyes,

“What do you mean by exiled?” (you decide to skip over the whole “build a nation” part, because you really aren’t surprised by it.) 

“Tubbo- I mean Dream. Well… They banished me from L’manberg they banished me from my home!  They banished me here to live on my own… I have nothing…”

“You don’t have nothing… You have me. I’ll help you, Tommy.” Your blood boils. They banished Tommy... Why? You don’t care… either way, you’re going to kill them… Whoever this Tubbo guy is… Your gonna kill him and Dream. You stand up and bring Tommy to his feet and wipe away his tears. 

“Go practice your sword throwing Tommy, I’ll make us some dinner.” You say as you walk over to the sword he had previously attempted to throw at you and take it out the wall.

“Hey, my sword throwing is great!” 

“Heh.. sure.” You hand him his sword and he groans jokingly and he walks outside and starts throwing his sword at some tree. You chuckle at the sight and you start to prepare your guy’s meal. You also grab your own sword and examine it. You sigh,

“Those bitches are gonna get what’s coming to them…” You whisper to yourself under your breath.

“Hey y/n! I hit my target!” Tommy yells to you.

“Good Tommy! I’m proud of you…”

#tommy mcyt #platonic tommyinnit x reader #mcyt fanfiction #platonic mcyt fanfiction #dream team #fanficion request