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icequeenbae · 3 months

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Boy Next Door (m) Ch.2 | BBH

Pairing: Baekhyun x Reader

Neighbor AU, slow burn, hurt/comfort, fluff, smut

Warnings: Baek being the neighbor we’re all dreaming of, harassment (nothing graphic), a bit of body image/ insecurity, MC sucks at relationships, explicit content, unprotected sex

Word Count: ~18.5k (total), 5k (pt.2)

Summary: Your neighbor Baekhyun has been a pleasant acquaintance since you moved into your current apartment almost a year ago. Could he also be… a perfect match?

Chapter Masterlist [ongoing]: Pt. 1 > Pt. 2 > Pt. 3 > Pt. 4 (fin)

Author’s note: Okay, I am slightly late to throw this party since the follower count has hit 800 a while ago... BUT NOW IT'S HERE!!! 💜💜💜 And be ready for a bumpy ride with this one. All goes under the cut as it starts off with smut hehe

As usual I'd like to remind you that the more active you guys are, the more motivation I have to update frequently. I'm easy to reach through my asks and I check all of your comments and reblogs~ In any case, I hope you like the first half of this story (just 2 parts ahead!) 💫

Network Tags: @bbh-net @k-vanity @ksmutsociety

Baekhyun’s grip on your waist was tight.

It felt secure and confident enough, so worries about him having to hold you up were long gone from your head. Your usual shyness seemed to have dissipated, and in its place came utter shamelessness.

‘Fuck, Baekhyun-’

Your high-pitched moan made him grunt. He wasn’t very talkative of a lover, but he was invested in making you come. The two of you barely made it into the apartment, starting out at the front door and only just stumbling into the hallway. Where he had you against the wall now.

‘Please don’t stop…’ You begged, finding his grown-out hair to tug on.

Baekhyun’s hips jerked forward, nailing you into the wall, and he groaned into your neck. Barely able to hold on to his shoulders, you swayed your own pelvis to meet his thrusts. Your breathing was ragged, and the deep, messy thrusts had you both on the brink of orgasm.

‘Ooh, Baekhyun, I’m- Amph!’

Your loud wail broke into reality and woke you up.

Later that day you were telling your best friend all about your miserable existence.

‘I hate my life, Yu…’, you whined into the phone.

‘That’s understandable.’

‘Yuki!’

‘Don’t ‘Yuki’ me, I still can’t believe you didn’t drop your panties for that hot neighbor of yours.’ She huffed in the middle of lecturing you. ‘Your subconscious is doing well, showing you what could’ve been.’

‘We barely ever hung out! I couldn’t exactly jump him.’

‘You’re neighbors! Who cares about the ‘three dates’ rule? He’s been to your get-together, you’ve been at his place… eating ice cream.’ You could hear the eye roll.

‘So? That doesn’t mean we’re dating.’

‘Dating-shmating. Didn’t you just mention that you’re horny as fuck for Baekhyun?’

‘So what? I don’t even know what he thinks of me. What if he has a girlfriend?’

Your friend’s laughter filled your ears.

‘He literally cornered you at the door and told you to come back whenever you craved for your favorite ice cream flavor. If that’s not saying, ‘Let’s fuck, Y/N,’ I don’t know what is. I’m actually willing to give him extra points for this. That’s the type of smooth that you need.’

‘I need?’

‘Yep. You’re pretty gentle, you know? He probably got that when he invited you to his house, and you raided his fridge instead of his bedroom.’

She was always in your face about being too slow to open up. You’d had this conversation before, and her stance on it was unyielding – you needed to have a steady male presence in your life to gain confidence for a healthy relationship in the future. But you didn’t think you were made for such arrangements; you were quite conservative about dating.

‘He wasn’t inviting me for sex. There wasn’t anything suggestive of that!’ You countered, not sounding particularly confident.

‘You mean he didn’t make any physical contact all night? Well, that’s not solid-’

‘He did, but it was-’

‘Wait, what?? He did?!’

‘It was nothing!’ You quickly took it back, slapping yourself on the lips.

‘You know what? You don’t even have to tell me. I already know that he wants you, and you want him. I also know you’ll continue dragging it out instead of having sex with the gorgeous boy next door.’

‘That’s actually another reason why I’m reluctant. What if Baekhyun’s not into me? Or in a relationship already? Or what if it ends the usual way? We aren’t just neighbors; we’re the only people on our floor. How awkward would that be?’

Your bestie sighed, probably remembering your past relationships. She, of all people, knew precisely the terms you broke up on and how stressed you were about crossing paths with any of your exes again.

‘It does have the potential to be awkward,’ Yuki pointed out. ‘But also… can you imagine how fun it’s gonna be? You’re always grumpy about having no time for dates and stuff. But you live like 5 seconds away from each other. The universe has outdone itself, you ungrateful woman!’

She fell silent after your huff, and you called out her name to make sure she was still on the line.

‘Sorry,’ she said, not a tiny bit embarrassed. ‘I just imagined having Hoseokie as my neighbor. My body is jealous of you, Y/N. The amount of sex you could be having!’

‘Ugh. I haven’t gotten laid in eternity, yet you keep talking about sex.’

‘Sex is great, you should try it. I can’t even remember what you were like when you had it.’

‘Just as grumpy as now,’ you grumbled. ‘Don’t even count on that making me any more sociable. Once a homebody, always a homebody!’

‘Oh well, at least I’d be happy knowing your body is socializing plenty with your clothes off.’

‘Why would you think about me with my clothes off…’ You gasped.

‘Yah!’

‘I’m hanging up.’ You announced, pressing the red button.

It was your fault for telling your friend about your love struggles. You knew how she was, and you still asked for her opinion.

She texted you immediately after you had one-sidedly ended the call.

Ki-yaah | Rude

Ki-yaah | At least invite the hottie for dinner. Reciprocate his gesture, if you know what I mean

Ki-yaah | But this time don’t wear sweats!! Wear a dress! Something simple

Ki-yaah | And easy to remove;)

You | You are…

Ki-yaah | Helpful?

You | That’s not what I was gonna say, but let’s go with that…

Ki-yaah | So you will??

You | Maybe…

Ki-yaah | Gosh, why are you so resistant!?

You | Idk ㅠㅠ Stop yelling at me ㅠㅠ

Ki-yaah | If you’re really not feeling this guy it’s fine, don’t listen to me~

You | I’m scared of the opposite, Yu… I think I’m starting to ‘feel him’ way too quickly. He’s been friendly once or twice, what if I’m overreacting?

You | It’d look pretty pathetic if I made moves on him, and he didn’t even have any of that in mind…

Ki-yaah | You’re way too hard on yourself, girl. And you still cannot tell when a guy is genuinely interested in you…

Ki-yaah | Remember that party… I was drunk, but even I noticed the way he was looking at you!

You | Exactly, you were drunk! He was probably trying to memorize what I looked like, nothing more

Ki-yaah | Yeah right. Cause when a guy can’t keep his eyes off of you, it’s just him memorizing your features for a composite sketch in case you break the law

You | Stop rolling your eyes

Ki-yaah | I’m glad you noticed!!

Ki-yaah | I wish you noticed men giving you the eyes more often than you notice my eyerolls!

Ki-yaah | Just do it your way. Invite him for a snack, wear something moderately nice, be a tiny bit suggestive and see where he takes this

Ki-yaah | Also keep your counter clear, what if the sparks start flying in the kitchen? Some men get turned on by women cooking, you know? And since you’re a great cook, you might just get your answers quick and efficient~

You | If I could hang up on this chat…

Ki-yaah | Did you write this down?

You | Bye ><

Even if that could be considered decent advice, you still couldn’t muster up the courage to take initiative like this. So all that was left for you was to wait until some random occasion, pleasant or otherwise, brought you together again.

***

It was late.

It was way too late for you to be out, especially grabbing snacks in the supermarket. But you just couldn’t bring yourself to go to bed. You’d been too anxious from overthinking everything in your life recently, from your professional worth to relationships. Getting lost in reflection, you realized you desired someone’s attention and affection. You wanted someone to be close with, not just physically but also emotionally. Intimately. It wasn’t about simply being bored or lonely – any of your friends was a phone call away in cases like that. What you needed was different, and it was something that wasn’t available to you at this time, or, perhaps, ever. So, you decided that a quick run to the nearest store for something to munch on was a great idea.

Spoiler alert – it was not.

‘Damn, why did I buy so many chocolates?’ You puffed into your mask, frustrated with yourself.

Having a sweet tooth came with consequences, and you were really trying to watch your weight since you’d been stress eating for weeks (months?) due to your work-related and other problems. Now was the time to get your diet back to normal, not to maintain the harmful habits.

‘I shall bring those to work if I don’t want to eat all of them myself,’ you thought to yourself, using your code to walk onto the territory of your apartment complex. You were almost home since, thankfully, the supermarket was only a few minutes’ walk away.

The concierge was away, which you noted since you’d usually greet him whenever you came back. You simply headed towards the elevator this time, still consumed by your thoughts. Before you could get close enough to press the button, someone grabbed your wrist, startling you.

‘Excuse me!’

Turning around, you faced the stranger, who decided to stop you in your tracks so unexpectedly.

‘Yes?’

He stared back at you, and you at him. Did you know this guy? Was he new in your building? It was relatively new, so many people were moving in these days. You did, not too long ago. But he didn’t look familiar. Or trustworthy, for that matter.

‘Can I... help you?’

Moving your shoulder back you tried to break free from his hold, but didn’t succeed. This was strange.

‘You’re pretty,’ he suddenly said matter-of-factly. ‘Can I have your number?’

At this point the encounter had become creepy. You went out wearing non-flashy clothes, zero makeup and a mask. How could he even tell whether you were pretty or not? The fact that he was still physically holding you in place escalated the situation.

‘What?’ Dumbfounded, you blinked at him.

‘You’re pretty. Exotic. Give me your number, we can chat.’

Ah, that. You hadn’t been called exotic in a while, and you realized what type of guy that he was.

‘Please let go of me. Kindly.’ You asked, looking around to see if there were any security cameras pointed in your direction.

‘Give me your number first,’ he argued with a strained smile.

The contact became even more unwelcome.

‘Let go,’ you repeated firmly, jerking your arm even though your wrist began to hurt.

‘Oh, come on. I just want your number; I’m not asking for your apartment passcode! Don’t be difficult.’

You were being difficult? This guy would piss you off if he wasn’t getting scarily persistent.

‘I said, let me-’

‘What’s going on?’ A familiar voice, an octave lower than usual, rumbled from behind you.

Turning back, you realized the elevator doors were open, and your neighbor walked through those in long, determined strides.

‘Is there something you want?’ Baekhyun grabbed onto the man’s wrist. ‘Hands off.’

‘Hey, I’m just asking for some contacts, chill.’

The atmosphere seemed to get even thicker with danger. He wasn’t letting go of you, and Baekhyun seemed like he wouldn’t let it fly.

‘You followed her here in the middle of the night, trespassing, by the way, to ask for her number?’

‘What, I can’t be friendly to a nice girl?’

Baekhyun suddenly moved, tapping the intruder on the throat with his palm and using the brief daze of his opponent to unclasp his fingers from you and twist his arm behind his back. Pushing his face to the wall harshly, Baekhyun held him there for a few moments.

‘Let go of me! You’re gonna break my arm, you psycho!’

Your neighbor didn’t seem fazed by the screams.

‘Listen carefully, you fucking punk. I’ll give you ten seconds to make yourself scarce before I alert the police. And if you ever see her again – run the other way. You’ll experience more than a broken arm if you lay a hand on her, you got me?’

The guy only yelped, swearing and begging for mercy at the same time.

‘Do we have an understanding?’ Baekhyun pressed before letting him go.

‘Ye-yes! You’re crazy!’

As soon as he was left alone, your attacker stumbled towards the door and quickly ran out of your building, still holding onto his arm pathetically. Meanwhile, your vision was entirely blurred out, eyes only focused on the broad back in front of you. You were surprised when Baekhyun turned around and slowly walked towards you, looking into your eyes inquisitively.

‘Y/N-ah, are you okay?’ He asked in a much softer voice. ‘Are you hurt?’

His hand touched your reddened wrist gently, and you shuddered.

‘N-no. I’m okay. Th-thank you.’

Baekhyun’s eyes searched your face for clues and seemed to have found some. He took another careful step towards you and cautiously wrapped his arms around you. The action was much needed, and you were glad he did it. His hold made you feel grounded and secure, and you were clinging to him instinctively, searching for comfort.

‘It’s alright. He probably scared you a lot,’ he murmured, voice soothing. ‘But you’re safe now. I’m here.’

Belatedly, you realized that you were sniffling quietly into his chest the entire time, grabbing a handful of his shirt.

‘I’m sorry,’ you whispered, pulling away. ‘I didn’t mean to cause you-’

‘Y/N,’ he instantly cut you off. ‘You didn’t cause anything. But preferably don’t walk around this late all alone.’

Baekhyun cupped your face and wiped your tears with his thumbs.

‘I live just next door. Tell me if you need company, or if anyone bothers you again.’

He paused to look down and bent forward to pick something from the floor. The plastic bag from the store that you dropped during the struggle.

‘Let’s get you home now,’ he hummed, guiding you to the elevator.

‘But-’

‘Don’t worry. I’ll take care of everything.’

Baekhyun delivered you onto your doorstep in silence.

‘Do you have ice to put on your wrist for bruising?’ He inquired, and you nodded timidly.

Not that you weren’t thankful, you were just still a bit shocked, and embarrassed too.

‘Y/N-ie,’ Baekhyun suddenly patted you on the head like a little girl. ‘Are you sure you’re gonna be okay?’

‘Y-yeah. I just need to… I just need a moment.’

He nodded for you to press your passcode in, and held the door for you before giving the bag with your snacks back.

‘Text me if you need anything,’ he stressed. ‘Okay?’

‘Mhm.’ You simply nodded.

You couldn’t exactly say that he was what you needed right now.

‘See you, Y/N-ah.’

***

The incident greatly impacted your (usually) pretty peaceful life. And it actually pushed you towards interacting with Baekhyun much more often – from the occasional small talk whenever you ran into each other, to the actual… hangouts? You swiftly went from acquaintances to friends.

In the span of a few weeks, you became a frequent guest at his home. One could even say that the negative experience turned out to be the catalyst of your relationship. You’d grown much closer afterwards. So comfortable with each other, that you found yourself in his living room in front of the TV every other day.

‘Yah, why didn’t you pause while I was on the phone? I can’t trust you to give me the short version, you take longer than if we actually rewatch it!’

‘What? I can be pretty laconic if I need to!’ You threw a carrot slice at him.

You had so much popcorn lately that a healthier equivalent was more than necessary.

‘What’s this, a bunny attack?’ Baekhyun threw it in his mouth and crunched on it. ‘Get back to where I left off.’

‘Alright, oppa.’

He drove you crazy with his bossiness sometimes.

‘That’s right. Respect your elders,’ he teased.

‘Why do I put up with this…’ Rewinding the episode, you scratched the fluffy head in your lap. ‘Mongryong-ah, I only endure this for you!’

Baekhyun looked down at his corgi.

‘Wah, living your best life, aren’t you, old man?’

‘You didn’t have to mention his age! You’re still adorable, Ryongie,’ you stroked the dog’s back.

‘He likes you too much,’ Baekhyun noted. ‘This grandpa usually isn’t this mellow with strangers.’

‘I’m not a stranger!’

‘With new people,’ he corrected, laughing at your exasperation.

‘I like him too. It’s mutual,’ you hugged the corgi, stretching his long body along yours, and rubbed his belly.

‘Wow. Literally a pile of mush, disgusting.’ Baekhyun said, looking at his happy dog.

‘You’re just jealous ‘cause he’s never this cute with you.’

‘Or I’m jealous ‘cause I want a belly rub too,’ he retorted, finally pressing play.

‘All you have to do is ask,’ you thought.

Unfortunately for you, Mongryong actually lived with Baekhyun’s parents, so you couldn’t use him as an excuse to come over that often. Even though your neighbor was diligently informing you about his pet’s visits. You really should’ve read between the lines, but even if you realized he did like you… It wouldn’t have changed much. You were just not the type to make the first move, so you just went with the flow. And if there was no opening for you to spend time with Baekhyun, you just… didn’t.

But the universe had its own ways of pushing you.

‘Why isn’t it working?’ You grumbled, pressing the numbers on your keypad lock. ‘Please, don’t tell me…’

An odd thought had crossed your mind. You hadn’t changed your batteries since you’d moved in, so what if those had completely drained? Today, of all days! When you went out to buy some cereal and ended up running home from the store under pouring rain?

‘No, dammit!’ You cursed under your breath.

‘Trouble with your lock?’ The voice from behind made you jump.

‘Oh god, when did you get here?’

‘Just now,’ Baekhyun hummed. ‘You look stressed. Are you locked out?’

‘Yeah. The battery died… Very timely. What do I do…’

‘You need a 9V.’

‘A what?’

‘A 9V square battery,’ Baekhyun laughed. ‘Which, I assume, you don’t have.’

You stared at him blankly, looking absolutely clueless.

‘Come here,’ he grabbed your wrist and led you to his door. ‘I’ll go to the store and get you one. But you need to change, or you’re bound to get sick.’

It wasn’t like you would say no – you were shivering already.

‘Here, you can wear this for the time being. And a towel,’ he handed you a small pile as soon as he left his bedroom. ‘Use a hairdryer for your hair.’

‘You really don’t need to-’

‘Go, you’re freezing. I’ll make a quick run to the store and back, and you warm up in the shower.’

‘Thank you,’ you managed to say while he was nudging you into the bathroom.

You locked the door behind yourself just to be sure, although you trusted that Baekhyun wouldn’t try anything. Still, taking a shower at his place was kinda intimate… and exciting. Maybe because it was the first time you’d ever done it in another man’s home?

‘Get ahold of yourself, Y/N-ssi,’ you told your reflection in the mirror.

The color in your cheeks seemed too bright. Taking your clothes off was strangely a big deal, so you hurried up and jumped into the shower quickly. Your body welcomed the warmth, so you spent at least ten blissful minutes under the hot water. Baekhyun’s wash smelled nice, and you stood there for a few minutes, thinking about how familiar the scent was. You’d seen him fresh out of the shower, so you knew this smell even though it was less concentrated on him. And now you had it all over yourself.

‘Stop wasting someone else’s water,’ you scolded yourself for your dreaminess and finished your routine quickly.

The thought of you smelling exactly like Baekhyun made you squirm. Were you a pervert? This shouldn’t have been this thrilling. Continuing to scold yourself, you got dressed.

‘Gosh, this shirt is long,’ you mused, trying to see the fit in the mirror. It reached your mid-thigh and was the best Baekhyun could offer of his own oversized clothes. You daydreamed for another minute about how broad and chic his shoulders must look in clothes like these.

‘I really do need to get a grip.’

Another ten minutes later, you finally stepped out of the bathroom. You found Baekhyun in the kitchen, moving stuff around on the counter. Certainly, with how long you’d been in the shower… he was back already.

‘Oh, Y/N, you’re done already?’ He asked as soon as he spotted you. ‘Sit down, I’m making you some mint tea.’

Mint tea was actually something that you brought into his life. Baekhyun wasn’t into tea – like almost any Korean, he preferred coffee. But once you’d introduced some variation into his beverage selection during one of your visits, he grew to appreciate the new flavors.

Instead of taking a seat, you came closer to see how he was brewing his tea. Baekhyun was very focused, and you couldn’t help but smile.

‘You didn’t have to do this,’ you murmured, sounding softer than you expected.

He looked down at you, eyes wandering around your face for a few seconds before reaching your mouth.

‘It’s no problem. I don’t want you to get sick,’ he said, turning away and licking his lips. ‘Here.’

You accepted the cup from his hands and took a sip.

‘Oh, that’s good! Thanks!’

Baekhyun nodded, watching you have more.

‘Did you get the V.. battery thing?’

‘Oh, about that… They didn’t have any. But don’t worry, I ordered express delivery online, should take a couple hours tops.’

Catching your uncertain expression, he suggested moving to the living room.

‘We can watch something or just chill.’

Although you agreed, you knew there was no way to pay attention to anything on the screen. You were acutely aware of the fact that you were in Baekhyun’s home, wearing his clothes, smelling of his shower gel, and sitting on his sofa. And the person responsible for your unstable control over your feelings was slowly catching up.

‘You sure you’re okay, Y/N-ah?’ He asked, leaning in to touch your forehead. ‘You seem a bit distracted and quiet.’

‘No. I mean, yes. I mean- I’m fine,’ you blurted out too quickly.

He stayed close, examining your face in great detail.

‘Your cheeks are red,’ he said, making you hold your breath. ‘And you’re pretty without makeup. As usual.’

You swallowed, afraid that your voice could betray you if you answered. His lips parted as soon as his eyes fell on your mouth again.

‘You’re always pretty,’ he said, distracted by your lips.

Without realizing it, you cocked your head slightly to the side, inviting him to kiss you. He was slowly getting closer, and your mind blacked out for a second.

When the lights in your head turned back on, you were full-on making out. It started slow initially, then it led to you two viciously attacking each other’s lips. Just the sound of your kissing made you shiver, and the pleasant tickle of butterflies in your belly accompanied this madness. You hadn’t experienced it for so long, it seemed new, and strong, and addictive.

Baekhyun didn’t waste any time, hands wrapping around your unsuspecting form to hold you against him. You gasped for air, but that was a short-lived pause. His tongue slid between your lips mischievously, and you could only grunt. You’d be down for anything he suggested right now. It was hard to tell how much time had passed while you were kissing, but you relished every second of it. His warmth, his skill, his gentle touch… He was way too perfect, and there was no way you could stop at your own volition.

But the doorbell disrupted your craze within a second.

Both of you stared into each other’s eyes, breathing heavily before he finally moved to get off of you. Sitting up, you tugged at the hem of your shirt, unable to recall just when he got on top of you. Not that you minded, anyway.

‘Ah, why did I order express delivery…’ Baekhyun muttered frustratedly, closing his eyes. ‘Give me a minute. No, twenty seconds.’

Nodding, you chuckled at his impatience. You felt exactly the same – eager to pick up where you left off. Although you weren’t the type of girl who’d give in to her desires easily, you’d been tiptoeing around your devilishly handsome neighbor for way too long. What happened just moments prior was solid proof of how weak you were for him. It was the first time ever you dove into a makeout session so fanatically that your memory was spotty afterward.

But the worries suddenly replaced your giddiness. What if he thought… that you were into that sort of thing? What if he now believed that you casually came into men’s houses and jumped them like a hungry lioness? Was it too needy of you?

‘What the hell are you doing here?’

The undertone of Baekhyun’s voice instantly got your attention. He wasn’t pleased to see whoever it was at his door. Could there be any trouble with the delivery?

‘Aw, and I was under the impression you’ve been missing me like crazy, babe.’ The flirty female voice answered.

Oh no.

Oh hell no.

Did he… have a girlfriend?!

The thought was like a cold shower to your body. Of course. An attractive young man lives in a fancy apartment complex and drives a luxurious car… How could he ever be single?

You were so naive.

And now you were about to get caught.

Springing up from the sofa, you darted towards the door and then froze. You couldn’t walk out of the living room without being seen. This was a nightmare, your worst nightmare coming to life.

‘I signed off on your delivery for you. Can’t you be grateful for one second, Baekhyunie?’

Her voice seemed closer. She was definitely inside the apartment. Maybe she’d believe your explanation that he was just helping you out? Solely friendly neighbor stuff? Oh gosh, you were totally done for.

‘Just get out.’

‘Why, are you hiding something?’ She asked, a bit less playful this time.

‘No.’

‘Are you sure?’ You could hear her taking a step.

‘Didn’t you hear me? Get out.’

There were a few seconds of silence that made you quiver with anxiety.

‘Is there someone in there, Baekhyun?’ She repeated.

‘Is it any of your business?’ He gritted. ‘Where do you think you’re- yah!’

The noise from the hallway could only mean one thing – she was walking right this way. Your mind couldn’t develop anything slightly useful at that point, so you simply stood there. In front of the sofa where you’d just almost… yeah.

She stormed into the room, pausing when she saw you. She was taller than you and very, very skinny. If you’d ever met her outside, you’d think she was a model. She wore a black ensemble that you could only guess was some hot-ass designer, and her hair was perfectly styled. She didn’t blink her faux eyelashes once while scanning you head to toe.

‘Are you freaking serious?’

The way she scrunched her nose, almost in disgust, made you shift uncomfortably. You’d definitely tell her off for this, if not for the shame you felt for being caught red-handed as ‘the mistress’.

‘Are you serious? Stop walking around like you own the place.’ Baekhyun fired back from behind her.

‘I go to the States for a few months, and then you’re snatched when I return?’ She huffed in disbelief. ‘Or is she paid to come here? Judging by the attire you were saving up. And I wouldn’t wear anything revealing with legs like that.’

Your mouth opened, but before you could even respond, your neighbor grabbed her forearm.

‘You really are delusional. Get out of my house.’

He dragged her back to the door, and she continued to yell at him.

‘Are you kidding me, Baekhyun? I can’t believe you’d kick me out to stay with some hooker!’

He stopped abruptly, turning to face her.

‘My mother taught me not to swear in front of ladies. But I hope you shut your fucking mouth right now. I’m only warning you once.’

He shoved her forward towards the door and cleared his throat.

‘Get your shit and leave. I’ll have a word with our security about how you got in.’

‘Fuck you, Byun. I’ll walk these heels over your balls when you realize you’ve made a huge mistake!’

‘Please, spare me your sick fantasies.’ He rolled his eyes, swinging his door open. ‘Out.’

The door slammed shut as soon as she left, and Baekhyun sighed loudly. He ran his left hand through his hair, still on edge, and pressed a button to turn the display on to see your floor. When she was gone, he sighed again, this time in relief. And you… felt so confused. And ashamed. And humiliated.

When Baekhyun turned around, it struck you on the spot. You couldn’t face him right now. Suddenly you felt small and exposed, and all you wanted was to be alone. So, you rushed back into the room to grab your phone.

‘Y/N-’ He began, walking after you. ‘Wait.’

You avoided his touch as you busted out of the room.

‘Where are you going?’ He asked as you slipped your feet into your wet shoes. ‘Stop.’

His hand caught your elbow, and you shivered as his skin burned yours.

‘Please, don’t follow me. I need to go.’ You asked, facing the door.

‘But-’

‘Baekhyun.’ You pushed.

He didn’t say anything for a moment. You heard shuffling, and then he put something into your palm.

‘You’ll need this.’

The battery.

Masterlist

A/N: Happy (belated) Lunar Year to everyone btw! And also huge thanks to all of you sweethearts who take time to read my stories and leave me long kind messages and comments, I appreciate you so much ❤️❤️❤️

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joelsmochi · 1 year

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Be The Boss - Javier Peña

loosely (actually extremely) inspired by the song you can be the boss by lana del rey ♡ i woke up with this idea and immediately got to writing, i love you smut sluts <3 hope you enjoy :3 this is also all lowercase ! i'm thinking of making a part 2... >:)

plot: ofc genie stumbles across javier in more places than one, and they... can't get enough of each other.

warnings: SIMP!javi, language, soulmates trope, mention of drug use, reader is a bit of a javi apologist (i meannnnn), creampie, fingering (f receiving), oral (f receiving), some angst, mentions of death, choking, office sex, public sex, chance of getting caught, sex with other people nearby (not involved), i may have flexed the timeline of the story a bit + steve is there during the cali cartel job (just for storytelling purposes), prob typos + grammatical errors (english & spanish). lmk if i missed anything pls!!!

wc: 9.1k

⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅ ✮ ✧˚ ༘ ⋆｡˚

those blue jeans and that white button-up shirt had genie fanning herself since she walked into the supermarket, but what kept making it worse was that the universe seemed to be forcing the two adults into the same aisle. she’d purposefully skip an aisle she needed to go down and circle back later only to find he still spawned wherever she went.

not like she was too awfully mad though. she knew it was just a mere coincidence, or maybe he found her attractive too. maybe she was the one following him, and not the other way around. maybe she was just reading into it too much — this happens often. you know when you go grocery shopping and can’t seem to get away from another customer? maybe that’s all this was. maybe.

later that night she decided to take her friend's boyfriend’s offer up to get out and go to a bar with them, and since she was feeling a little sad that the man from the market never approached her even though she was too bashful to do it herself, she needed a pick me up. third-wheeling with her friend and her boyfriend may just be the motivation she needed to stop feeling sorry for herself.

a couple hours into the night genie was having more fun than she expected. her friend, aimee, was much more considerate than previous ones; she made sure genie felt included in the conversations and even spoiled some inside jokes just so that genie could laugh too.

playing pool, turning down pushy men for dances and drinks, and watching strangers basically have sex in the middle of the bar was more entertaining than she expected. that could just be the alcohol talking though.

she knew the universe was laughing at her, however, when the man from the market walked in with two rubios trailing behind him. genie’s eyes widened a bit, having narrowed from her tipsy state, and as if she couldn’t get more tense at that moment he made eye contact with her. she pretended to be confident about it and gave him a sweet smile while waving. he frowned for a second trying to remember where he’d seen her before.

the pretty girl in the pretty sundress from the market.

he gave genie a half smile and waved back before glancing as his shoes briefly and walking back to his friends.

“go talk to him!” aimee smacked genie’s arm over enthusiastically. “if you don’t i’m dragging him to the table.”

genie laughed knowing she is 100% serious. “i will, just let him settle in for a few minutes. can’t seem like a groupie,” genie bargained.

“who is that?” aimee’s boyfriend, cory asked while eyeing the trio from across the room.

“no idea,” she admitted, “we just kept bumping into each other at the market earlier. i think he was eyeing me, but i didn’t wanna just stare so i don’t know. seems like he recognized me though.”

“well, duh, you’re fucking hot,” aimee exaggeratedly compliments. “especially when you wear those sundresses, your ass looks so big and juicy in those i’m literally jealous.”

“please, you’re literally built like jane fonda, and everyone knows that jane fonda has the perfect ass. i’m jealous of you.”

“can we not talk about how you two basically want to fuck each other when i’m right here?” cory grimaces, but genie could see the smile creeping on his face indicating he was joking.

“awe, if i wanted her i’d have her already,” genie teased.

“she’s right,” aimee confirmed. the two best friends began laughing loudly at cory’s expense when they heard a voice from beside the table.

“perdóname.” [excuse me].

genie turned her head and met eyes with the moreno, grinning widely at his seemingly timid presence. “¿cómo puedo ayudarte?” [how can i help you]

“no tengo mucho tiempo, pero, lo quería darte esto.” he extended a cigarette out to the brunette; she admired how his harsh features softened at the sight of her for a moment, ultimately taking it from his slender fingers with a confidence that she forced yet seemed natural to everyone surrounding. [i don't have much time, but i wanted to give you this]

“gracias. acabas de llegar, ¿no?” [thank you. you just got here, no]

“claro, pero el trabajo llama.” [of course, but work calls]

genie nodded once clearly not believing him as a sly smirk tugged the corners of her lips while she fiddled with the cigarette. she turned it over quickly finding his phone number sloppily written on it. “¿trabajo, sí?” [work, huh]

“what’s he saying?” cory asked; aimee shushes him and genie ignored him, finding herself aiming to maintain the eye contact she held with the handsome stranger.

“¿llámame? salvo que no quieras.” [call me? unless you don’t want to]

“¿cómo debería llamarme?” she was poking at his boundaries which was something she found herself doing often. she loved to laugh and joke, so it was important to her to test those waters. [what should i call you]

he squints, unsure of what exactly she was asking until it dawned on him. “javier. javi.”

“javi,” she tutted after saying his name a way to tease him making him just bashfully smile. “bien. te daré una llamada, javi.” they exchange goodbyes and she turned back to her friends. [good. i’ll give you a call]

“i got javier,” the boy says, “that’s about it.”

“he just wanted me to have his number, that’s all,” genie said.

“are you about to have your first summer fling, genie?!” aimee nearly shouted in attempt to make her blush (which worked every time). “i want every juicy detail when you taint him.”

“you’re lucky i love you.”

genie waited a few days to give this javi a phone call. she didn’t want to seem too eager or desperate as she typically enjoyed waiting until men begged for attention.

but when she did decide to call it was like he had been posted by the phone for the last seventy-two hours because he picked up on the second ring.

“¿bueno?” [hello]

“¿javier?” she asked much more softly than she intended. unbeknownst to her the delicacy in her voice made him weak in the knees.

“sí, ¿eres la mujer del bar?” [yeah, are you the woman from the bar]

“mhm, soy yo,” she answered. she grabbed the phone from the console table and brought it around the corner to sit in her chair by her big kitchen window; the weather was perfect for her: sunny with some big clouds here and small clouds there, not too humid or dry. she just watched the leaves dancing between the wind and focused on how peaceful the world seemed from inside her temporary home. [it’s me]

“nunca supe tu nombre,” he replied while inhaling sharply as he took a hit of his cigarette, “¿cómo se llama, dulzura?” [you never told me your name / what’s your name sweetheart]

she couldn’t fight the laugh that surfaced from the base of her throat as the nickname surprised her. “¿dulzura? mmm, no me hagas colgar, javi.” [sweetheart? don’t make me hang up]

“¿qué?” he laughed along with her, “tenía que llamarte algo, ¿no?” [what? i had to call you something]

“¿me llamaste así a tus amigos?” [you called me that to your friends]

“¿no te gusta? okay, okay, veo.” [you don’t like it? i see]

“no, no es que me no guste. es simplemente… sorprendente, eso.” [no, it’s not that i don’t like it. it’s simply surprising, that’s all]

neither of them could swallow their smiles behind their receivers. they talked for hours, and she still managed to keep her name a secret for the time being. he quickly got in the habit of calling her dulzura and it grew on her just as fast. the way spanish flowed off of his tongue made her cave deeper and deeper into her chair, having to “readjust” her legs a few times to resist her urges to tell him how sexy his was.

“javier…”

his throat was straining from all the talking and laughing they were doing but he ignored it by inhaling cigarette after cigarette. “¿sí, mama?” he cooed quietly.

the way the new little nickname from his lips gave her goose skin and a flushed face, and she was thankful he wasn’t in front of her in that moment because she just might have giving up on her wait and see rule.

“tengo que ir, tengo que ayudar a mi amiga mañana. pero… fue encantador hablar contigo.” [i have to go, i have to help my friend in tomorrow. but it was lovely talking with you]

“yo veo. voy a despertarme temprano mañana también. una cosas más.” [i see. i gotta get up early tomorrow as well. one more thing]

she giggled, somehow already knowing what he was going to ask about. “me llama genie.” [my name is genie]

“genie… ya has hecho realidad mi deseo, dulzura,” he flirted. [you’ve already made my wish come true, sweetheart]

“obtienes dos más, cariño,” she teased. it wasn’t the first time someone used her name as punchline in attempt to flirt with her, and it sounded just as corny coming from javi. the only difference was that she liked it coming from him because he wasn’t trying to hide how bad the joke was, whereas most men try to make it sound original as if they’re fucking poetic legends. javi knew he made stupid jokes and didn’t shy away from it. he didn’t try to put on some stupid façade (at least not with her). [you have two more, love]

“¿dos deseos más? debe ser mi día de suerte.” [two more wishes? it must be my lucky day]

genie gave him a sweet giggle, whispering, “hasta luego, javi.” [later]

“buenas noches, genie.” [good night]

it was like night and day, her first impression of javier was that he was just some man trying to find his way in life, in colombia. she got a real glimpse of him tonight: they got to the bar about an hour ago, and to the other men nearby it was like javier wasn’t even there. they’d stroll up to the table and flirt, hard.

she was trying to be polite and avoid a scene by saying thank you, but i’m not interested or i’m here on a date with this gentleman, but there are other pretty girls around who i’m sure are single.

after the fourth guy, though, javi became noticeably irritable, and well… lost his temper at the fifth guy. genie told herself that they were lucky to not get kicked out after javi’s already bruised fist knocked the other man flat on his skinny ass, but it shook her a bit. a man so sweet and so kind to her yet so violent with others. as fucked up as it was she found it a bit of a turn on, but couldn’t help but wonder if maybe one day he’d lose his temper with her.

all her worries swam away when he sat back down and apologized, a look of pure embarrassment pooling his eyes.

“sorry, i don’t know what took over me,” he whispered, “if you want to go home that’s perfectly fine—“

“javi,” she cooed, “you’re fine.” and she meant it. she not only saw his resentfulness, she felt it radiating off of him. she didn’t want the night to be spoiled by some fuckers who lacked respect. “honestly if every girl was coming up here asking you for a buck and a blowjob i’d probably punch one of them too. no, i would do it.”

“you’re not mad?”

she scrunched her face up and grabbed her drink, raising it to her lips and sipping before she said, “fuck no. well, not at you. it’s not like this is our first real date, anyways. the real one will come soon, i hope.” she gave him a tight smile that showed off parts of her teeth showing javi that she was hopeful and willing to try again. “ugh, i hate saying that.”

“what?” he took a swig of his whiskey.

“‘it’s not our real first date.’ god, that just sounds like i’m crapping on this.”

“no it doesn’t. that’s what we said this was, right? not a first date? just two new friends hanging out?”

she snickered at him. “uh-huh, do two friends just hanging out get jealous and possessive over each other?”

he rolled his eyes wonderingly and bit back a smile. “you know what i mean.”

“sureee i do… then you won’t mind if i go out there and dance, hmm?” she pointed behind herself with her thumb. she wanted to toy with him a little to see what kind of man he was so that she knew how to navigate him.

she only received a squinting glare in response as he asked her to elaborate with his eyes, so she ever so slightly rose up from her chair to lean over the table. his face relaxed at her close proximity, maintaining eye contact with the vixen before him.

“for other guys? since we’re just friends right now, that won’t bug you, right?” she gave him no time to respond as she gave him a kiss so endearing that it swept his mind clear of any thoughts that didn’t include her. she almost moaned at the lingering taste of whiskey and cigarettes on his lips, craving him even more now. the kiss felt like an escape from all of her troubles. she only needed this moment of control and then he could have the rest of her — something she’d never give to anyone else. the kiss was over before it even began, and he found himself simpering for her. “can i go dance for other guys, javier?”

he could only nod like a coward.

javi watched how her thighs glowed underneath the yellow lights as she danced shamelessly in the bar they first met in. he couldn’t take his eyes off of her in the white sundress with her blow dried hair flowing around her shoulders and cheekbones. she wasn’t drunk, no, not even tipsy so he knew that she was just a free spirit with the way she was acting, she spoke her mind and let her body express itself uncaring of the other people in the bar that stared.

he liked the fact that other men were staring at her because even though she was dancing where everyone could watch, she was only dancing for javi to see. he also enjoyed it when a man would approach her and she would just dance her body away from them as it confirmed her growing loyalty to him.

sure she’d forgiven his lack of self control earlier, but now he knows that he doesn’t need to act out to get her attention because he already has it. he didn’t quite understand what was so intriguing about genie, but he wanted to explore her depths (and not just in a sexual way).

he stood up to strut over to her after drinking the rest of his whiskey; he clasped his arms around her waist from behind and took in a deep breathe of her sweet perfume which contrasted the woodsy perfume he noticed her wearing when he gave her his number. he planted a needy but light kiss on the curve where her neck met her shoulder, pressing his hips into her butt firmly before swaying and bouncing with her to the upbeat song.

“people are staring at you, dulzura,” he whispered huskily onto her ear lobe. “these men think you’re single. can’t have that.”

she couldn’t help the cocky grin that spread across her face. “i saw the way you were looking around the room, smiling like you own the place…” she turned around in his tight grasp staring into his territorial eyes with an innocent, but knowing look. “like you own me.”

“i don’t own you, darlin’,” he says monotonously, not even the slightest hint of humor behind his tone, “but i do control you. at least for the night.”

“you can be the boss, daddy.”

she watched the surprise waiver his once stern expression and rather than playing her usual confident self she couldn’t ignore what he said.

i do control you.

she wanted to let him take the reigns on this one and see what javier peña was all about. after all, wait and see was far out of the window at this point.

she just pouts with her eyes and brows and folds her lips between her teeth like she had no idea the effect she had on him. she felt his warm hand slide down to the small of her back, gripping into the clothed skin desperately while he hissed at her facial expression and her dumb eyelashes batting up at him.

she filled him with what felt like so much destitution it was beginning to irritate him. the wanting to take it slow. the giggles and smiles. the dresses—god, he just craved fucking her in that little white sundress. how so much woman fit into one person was beyond him, but he looked at her like she was god created just for him.

yeah… waiting wasn’t happening.

the two of them ran out to his car like a pair of schoolchildren, and javi almost hit other cars or pedestrians at least twice on the way back to his apartment. she just laughed and told him to slow down, the few shots of dark liquor she had getting to her carefulness a bit.

next thing they knew they were naked on the couch, just kissing. that’s all they needed to do. just feel each other’s impure warmth. their lips were far beyond numb but they still went at it. she clung to him like wet on water, and he held her close with his sturdy forearms atop his lap while she rocked her hips occasionally. she poured every moan into his salivating mouth and he swallowed them with pride.

they were in no rush to have sex, they just wanted to need each other for a little bit. their craving for each other exceeded physical intimacy and stretched into every curve of their being as they wept onto each other. she giggled every time she felt more of her juiced pool onto his erection that was nestled between her legs and curved up to her ass. he loved her moans and her giggles and her smiles so much that he found himself smiling with her more than he had with his recent partners.

“javi?” she asked softly after finally pulling away from their hour-long kiss. he hummed and looked at her through his low eyelashes, seemingly drunk off of her kisses. “¿crees que podemos esperar un poco más?” [do you think we can wait a little longer]

he frowned, feeling a tad offended that she seemed a little scared to ask him that. “sí, dulzura. no tienes que preguntar.” he pinched her chin lightly and dragged his fingers around her soft face. [you don’t have to ask]

“no quería asumir.” [i don’t want to assume]

he offered her a loving smile and brought one of her hands up to his lips. “yo puedo esperar, mama.” [i can wait]

she blushed at the compassionate stare he was giving her and rewarded him with a tender kiss on his lips and another one to his forehead. “¿tienes agua?” [do you have water]

“mm-hmm. solo agua de la llave.” [only tap]

she carefully stood up from his thighs and stepped from between his legs to the kitchen. “no soy exigente.” she took it upon herself to grab a couple of glasses from his cabinet and them up up halfway with lukewarm water before she peered her head to her right to find a ring sitting in a small bowl nearby. “javier?” she called, unable to take her eyes off of the jewelry. he hummed and she heard as he stood up from the couch and walked towards her. “are you married?” she asked, finally breaking her stare from the ring and looked at him. [i’m not picky]

he eyebrows knitted together and he gave her a dumbfounded look. “no, why?”

“who’s ring is that then?”

he followed her pointed thumb with his eyes and saw how the ring was perched on top of the junk bowl like a trophy. “shit,” he whispered, glancing at his floor bashfully. “uh, no, genie i am not married. i was engaged, but, i left her… the day of the wedding.”

she couldn’t tell why, but she grew worried. “why?”

shrugging, he couldn’t come up with an answer. “i’m still trying to figure that out myself… i guess i kept the ring hoping it’d give me answer,” he laughed incredulously at his confession. “that was definitely not how i wanted you to find out.”

she nodded and a sense of relief came to calm her down. “i run all the time too,” she replied, waiting a moment before holding out the glass for him to take. he found solace in her words even though he didn’t fully understand it yet. he took a lame sip of his water and set it down on the counter before closing the gap between their still feverish bodies. “we don’t need to talk about it.” her tone was so serious but her smile was playful. “we can just make out for another hour or something.”

they laughed at her suggestion, but just as javi was leaning into kiss her as an acceptance his phone rang. he rolled his eyes and groaned before walking over to answer it. genie didn’t want to eavesdrop so she just strolled over to steal a cigarette from him and walked to his bedroom to blow her smoke out of his screen-less window whilst she looked over the other apartments and the streets. she heard a few gunshots far away and poked her nosy head out to see if she saw something, and when she didn’t she just kept looking around quickly forgetting about it.

it is colombia after all.

she was almost done with her cigarette when javi made an appearance next to her also holding a cigarette.

“everything okay?” she asked, glancing up at him. he nodded and grinned down at her nipples perking up from the cool breeze. “take a picture, perv,” she teased once she realized he was staring, then kicked his calf gently.

“maybe i will, smartass.”

she shook her head and laughed indulgently as he pointed his polaroid up to her naked body that was being illuminated by the orange street lights. he laid the photo on his dresser before hugging her from behind like earlier, and he swayed their nude bodies to music that was heard playing from another house in the distance. she hummed and tossed her cigarette outside before stealing his right off of his pouted lips; he took the liberty of his mouth as opportunity to kiss her shoulders.

she wanted him so badly, but she knew it was just her wound of impatience waiting to be peeled open again. she wasn’t afraid of giving in to him. she was afraid of giving in to herself. javier didn’t make it easy at all, and he saw it, but he just couldn’t help himself.

“mi dulzura…” he breathed onto her hot flesh, trailing his lower lip up to her ear and smacking a kiss on it while his hand found the base of her stomach. she felt herself clench around nothing and moved his hand down to her clit before she could stop herself. he wanted nothing more than to make her feel good and she just gave him permission for that in some aspect. “tu coño todavía está tan mojada… tengo suerte, ¿no?” he rubbed tiny little circles around her clit the same way she would when she’d touch herself. [your pussy is still so wet. i’m lucky, huh]

“alguien podría vernos.” she worried like she wasn’t the one to initiate it. [someone could see us]

he waited a moment to respond. “que nos vean.” [so let them see]

she gave in and let him please her for the whole world to see. the pads of his fingers felt like heaven on her heat as she let go of the fear of getting caught; she leaned her head back onto his shoulder and closed her heavy eyes.

javier wanted to felt her tremble in his arms and hear her call his name. he needed to give her a reason to come back and he knew he could do that with his fingers alone. just like he said: he could wait. and he would wait for her. she was gentle and kind but fearless at the same time. he thought it was sexy the way she never cared what anyone thought of her (anyone she wasn’t familiar with anyways).

“¿te gusta?” [you like that]

she simply nodded rapidly as her chest heaved, her mind straying from reality as she sank deeper into the trap he laid with his fingers. her eyes flew open, however when she heard a group of people walking nearby. “javi,” she panicked, “deberíamos mover—“ [we should move—]

“shut up,” he whispered in her ear through gritted teeth while simultaneously wrapping his free hand around her elongated neck, “tengo esto.” [i got this]

genie moaned louder than she realized and allowed herself to no longer care after javi made his demands. if the people wanted a show then they were going to get it. “claro, después de todo… eres el jefe, papi.” [sure, after all, you’re the boss daddy]

weeks of harmony went by, and even the bad moments weren’t so bad. sometimes javier would meet genie after a shit day at work and wouldn’t be in the mood for company, but he didn’t want to push her away because of it. he still wanted her near and she saw that despite feeling like sometimes she had to walk on eggshells around him on his moody nights. she didn’t mind it too much, it was more of her still trying to learn how to read him which came with some difficulty.

he knew that when they went almost a week without seeing other and constantly missing each other’s phone calls that he was falling hard from how much he missed hearing her voice. genie filled her free time with her friends and gardening but her mind always trailed back to javi.

they’re schedules finally aligned on a tuesday; javi got the day off and wanted genie to meet his partner steve so she took it upon herself to have them over for dinner along with aimee.

“hi, i’m genie,” she introduced excitedly as she shook the man’s hand before inviting them in.

“hey, i’m steve. sorry my wife couldn’t be here tonight,” he said.

genie just waved him off. “oh, don’t worry about it. i’ll make some extra for her if that’s alright?”

“sure, thank you.”

“my friend aimee is here in the other room, feel free to make yourself at home. dinner should be ready in about an hour.” he excused himself and genie turned to javi and immediately gave him a sultry kiss. “mm, i missed you.”

he chuckled and wiped the corner of his mouth before giving her a hug. “i missed you too. how ya doing?”

“better now,” she whispered. “come help me in the kitchen?”

“not sure i can be much help.” he watched her hips bounce back and forth as she led him to her kitchen. “you have a nice home,” he commented; he walked behind her and enveloped her body into a warm hug as she stirred the sauce in her pot.

“thank you.” he gave her neck a few kisses, placed his fingers on her chin to turn her head toward him, and pecked her lips a few times. she blushed and focused on her cooking again, but javi wanted to play with her again as it had been too long since the last time he’d heard her delicious moans. “javier,” she hissed and he just slid his large hands into her tight jeans. “javi,” she laughed, “we are not having a repeat of last time.”

“you’re right, this time we’re not doing it in a window, we’re in your kitchen,” he teased after his fingers found her wetness and dove into it.

she exhaled softly and felt her nipples harden against the fabric of her shirt. “i don’t wanna mess up dinner.”

“focus on dinner then, baby, don’t think about me,” his voiced strained. she nearly laughed again but couldn’t because a moan nearly surfaced. she brought a bowl of diced onions over the pot and let them fall in as an attempt to distract herself. “i’m sure dinner will be lovely, dulzura.” his breath hitched up against her ear when he felt her clench around his fingers. “what are you making?”

“lasagna.”

“it smells good.”

“thank you—oh.” she accidentally smacked the spoon on the counter and sauce flew specks around the wall and stove. “shit!” she reached for a towel and immediately bent forward to wipe the mess up, but she only applied more pressure between her sex and his digits. he took the liberty to ram his fingers as fast as the angle would allow which had her struggling to stand straight, but she continued cleaning her mess up—well, her javi-induced mess. once she was done she put the lid on the pot and told him that she was close.

“already? seems like you needed this more than me. is that right?”

“yes,” she huffed, gripping the ledges of the countertop. “right there.”

“you’re doing so good keeping quiet.”

“me corro, me corro!” she breathed out. she swallowed every other noise that tried to leave her fragile body while her orgasm took over. it was strong and overpowering almost, unlike most of her orgasms that were slow and drawn out. she felt every bit of her climax in the span of just a few seconds but it was well worth it. [i’m cumming]

javi eased up on her fairly quickly and freed his hand, careful to not get any of her cum on her clothes. she tried to steady her body while she resumed dinner and he washed his hands before helping her trembling hands with the heavy pot. they didn’t say anything but they could not stop giggling.

“are you guys stoned or something?” aimee asked spooking the couple.

“we’re literally dea agents,” steve retorted as he stood next to her.

“eh,” genie edged receiving a warning look from javi. “are you?”

“genie,” javi hissed.

“don’t worry, i won’t tell steve about the time you and i got high before watching star wars.”

“really peña?” steve questioned accusingly.

javi gave genie’s ass a light smack, but he knew steve would ultimately forget about it so he just went back to watching genie cook.

the night went by slow which made genie happy. she got to bond with steve and aimee got to bond with javi. it was like the formation of a new, happier, stronger family for genie and she hoped everyone else felt the same way. aimee and steve teased the other two about how smitten they were being all night and how cute it was to see the love they have for each other growing. they all got a little tipsy from whiskey and wine which caused the formation of a brother-sister relationship with steve and aimee — one that javi and genie found adorable, especially with the way they bullied each other for their music tastes and political views in a chaste way.

when the night was closing in steve and aimee made their exits to their significant others and homes, and aimee naturally made the comment, “don’t be too loud now,” more than once.

as soon as they were alone, genie and javi made their debut to her room for pillow talk and cuddles having gotten their release of sexual tension out earlier.

“do you think they heard me?” genie worriedly asked.

“i think we’d know if aimee heard us,” javi quip, snickering as he did so.

“good point.”

genie admired all of his facial features which made him smile keenly. he was handsome, smart, romantic, and caring, but he was also daunting and reserved for everyone but her. she wouldn’t dare resist love from someone so sweet after she experienced a life in the absence of love. javier gave her all the smiles she needed for one lifetime already, but his desire to keep that smile on her face earned him a special place in her fragmented heart because he was making it whole again.

“do you want to keep seeing me? i’m just checking in, making sure we’re all good.” javi’s insecure tone put a frown on her face.

“i do. i like you.”

he blushed and crawled on top of her. “yeah? you like me?”

“yeah i like you a lot, papito. te quiero mucho, papito.”

he closed the space between their lips and he snaked his arms around her back. he felt closer than before to the woman below him because she forgave his sins faster than he did himself. he didn’t know what he did to get this lucky, but he refused to question one of the only good things in his life.

“te quiero, genie,” he whispered, nuzzling his nose along hers.

“me encanta la forma en que dices mi nombre… y la forma en que me besas… la forma en que me tocas. me gustas mucho, javi, no sé lo que haría sin ti.” [i love the way you say my name… and the way you kiss me… the way you touch me. i like you a lot, javi, i don’t know what i’d do without you]

days later javier ended up getting sent home for playing with the enemy, and it left genie in a state of uncertainty. part of her blamed him for the new distance placed between them but she also knew she didn’t understand everything nor did she want to. in this case ignorance was bliss for her.

they set time aside every couple of weeks to keep up with each other for phone calls and she even began considering moving back to the states to be with him, but her loyalty to beth always pushed those thoughts aside. he worried about genie often because her mental health seemed to decline with how much more she was taking care of the sick woman. he’d never ask her to stop knowing he’d do the same for his own family, but once he got put on the case for the cali cartel he knew him being there would put her in good spirits. at least he hoped so.

it had been nearly a year since they’d last seen each other and he wanted it to be a surprise. from what steve had told him she never really moved on despite javi telling her it was okay and that staying friends was best for them for the time being. it angered her how easy he seemed to want to give up, but this wasn’t a fairytale and she knew that it may have very well been years until she was able to see him again so she understood.

genie became more reclusive, only ever seeing her few friends in the foreign state. she and aimee lacked the mental drive to go out and party like they did in the earlier stages of their arrival so beth, steve, connie, and cory were the only other people they spent time with.

javi knocked on her door and as he stood there waiting for an answer he drummed his fingers over his clad thighs. would she look different? would someone else answer the door? would she not want to see him right now? all these thoughts that ran through his head a million miles per hour vanished when he saw that pretty sundress appear before him.

“javier?” she asked softly as if he were unrecognizable.

“it’s me,“ he whispered hoarsely. her beauty sucked all of the air out of him and his body turned to mush when she collided into his broad frame. “it’s me.” he clung to her and breathed her in like she was a wasting memory.

“¡te extrañé, javi! te extrañé mucho.” [i missed you]

“también te extrañé, dulzura,” he whispered into her hair. “i came to surprise you.” [i missed you too]

“come in,” she urged. she ran upstairs to her bedroom and practically dragged him with her. “i need you,” she told him breathlessly. “can i have you?” he simply pressed his soft lips to hers as permission; they ripped their clothes off of each other and she laid him on her bed. just then everything fell back into place.

all of the midday to midnight conversations they had developed meaning. there was no doubt in her mind that her waiting wasn’t pointless or a waste of time. it meant something to the both of them and they wanted to permeate it.

she reached between their bodies and gave his already hard cock a few slow strokes to build up the anticipation. “are you mine?” she asked, a hint of possession in her eyes.

he felt like his soul mended to the shape of hers, her spirit captivating every corner of his mind. he nodded helplessly. “yes,” he moaned with his eyes rolling to the back of his head.

“were you loyal to me?” she teased her entrance with his tip, sliding it in slowly.

“yes, i was l—loyal to you.” he couldn’t stop gasping; just the feeling of her slick walls around the first inch of him had him on edge. “i promise.” just then she sunk onto him without further question and felt her wetness pool around him as he stretched her out. they let out sweet moans for each other and began kissing as she bounced on him. “fuck, ya vas a hacer que me corra.” [you’re going to make me cum (already)]

she giggled, lifted herself up, then put her hands on his stomach for better balance. “dame tu leche, papi.” [give me your cum]

he threw his head back while cursing loudly, giving her plump ass a tight squeeze and refusing to let go. “necesito que me des tu leche lindo primero.” [i need you to give me your pretty cum first]

genie groaned and pinched her nipple lightly, feeling the sensitivity spiral down to her pussy. “ven aquí.” he sat up and ran his warm hands over the goosebumps on her back. “lamer mis pezones.” [come here / lick my nipples]

“yeah?” he licked a teasing strip up one of her nipples, giving her puppy dog eyes. “¿quieres que te me lama los pezones?” she hummed at his question and fluttered her eyes shut when he began sucking one and used his thumb to rub circles on the other one, his mustache grazing her skin adding to the pleasure. she continued her rhythm on top of him while he kept her steady. he felt his eyes light up at the sight of her. sweaty, eager, desperate. he knew that he never wanted to feel anyone else do this for him, and no one could make him feel nearly as good. he had to let his mind wander from time to time because of how close he was getting to cumming inside of her. he didn’t want this to end so soon. he wanted this to be the memory she touched herself to whenever he couldn’t be around. he needed the feeling of his thick cock stretching and pleasing her slick cunt to be engraved so deeply into her mind that the thought of it alone would make her cum on her own fingers. “eres tan jodidamente perfecta, mama. so fucking perfect.” [you want me to lick your nipples / you’re so fucking perfect]

she loved the way he cowered his face into her chest as a way to feel more of her and the way he kissed up her sternum until his lips met hers. he cradled her in his arms so that he could switch their positions wanting to see how good he could make her feel. he freed her face of loose hair strands and gave her tiny kisses while he started slowly inside of her, not fully inserting himself in while doing so. genie loved everything about this moment.

javi with messy hair.

how sheen and warm their bodies were from sex and not the humidity.

the cool breeze that often snuck in through the open windows.

javi worshiping her body.

how pretty her body looked under the sun.

how careful and attentive he was with her.

their heavy breathing

and moans

and pants

and whimpers.

javi knew he couldn’t hold back much longer so he pulled out to bury his face between her thighs. she let out an ungodly sound as he opened his mouth as wide as possible and sucked up everything. she clawed at his scalp with her back arching off the bed not able to form any words at the sudden sensation.

he slurped as he closed his mouth and flattened his tongue on her throbbing clit, roughly shaking his head side to side tickling the skin around her clit with his facial hair (and it drove her insane). she tried to squeeze her shaky thighs around his head but his sturdy arms wouldn’t allow that. she cried out his name and let the vibrant and warm and forceful feeling take over he flailing body. her body shook so hard the bed creaked with the headboard smacking the wall a few times. she had no time to recover when he filled her up with his throbbing length and continued her orgasm by rubbing his fingers around her wet clit.

“hazte correrme otra vez,” she pleaded. he rammed into her and held her legs up while she perched on her elbows. [make me cum again]

“¿quieres otra más? hmm,” he grunted. [you want to cum again]

“yes, fuck—fuck. you’re gonna make me cum again!” he rested on top of her, laying her flat down again. he fondled her breast briefly but moved his hand up to her cheek to caress it. “can you cum with me?” she asked; his eyelids battered down and he nodded. she felt his body jerk and she grinned at his flushed face. “¿tú estás corriendo?” [are you cumming]

“mm. mm-hmm,” he moaned, “solamente para ti.” she felt her mouth go dry and his thrusts lose a steady rhythm. his hips dug into her thighs and his cock pulsed when her pussy began convulsing against him. [just for you]

she pouted up at him when he pressed their foreheads together and felt dizzy until that one second of pure stillness carried her body up and back down to reality again. she forced her heavy eyelids open to see him in her most vulnerable state of mind as a way to let him know he had her always and forever. she held onto him tightly, letting out whimpers of overstimulation that turned into exaggerated moans when she couldn’t hold onto the feeling anymore. he got there not too long after, but instead his focus sharpened on her rather than hazed; he thrusted sloppily into her exhausted body and gave her body every last drop of cum he had saved up for her.

their breathing synchronized as they just laid together; he made sure she felt loved when he pressed a few plump kisses over her face, feeling his heart punch against his ribs every time she cooed at his lips on her damp skin.

he carried her to the bathroom so that they could shower together and they didn’t even realize neither of them said anything for the next half hour until they climbed back in bed.

“doing alright?” he asked her as he lit her cigarette up.

she smiled with her eyes and nodded, pressing her back to her headboard. “you?”

“yeah… honestly thought i was gonna have to put up more of a fight to get in bed with you,” he teased. she nudged his foot with hers and laughed. “i came back for you,” he said once the mood shifted.

“i thought about leaving beth and going to you.”

“i know. steve told me,” he admitted. “i wouldn’t want you to do that. sounds like she needs you and aimee more than ever right now.”

“yeah.”

“hey.” he held her chin then gave her a kiss. “i’m here now.” he wiped a tear that fell onto her cheek and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. “i’m here now.”

“you’re being so fucking loud right now, shut up,” genie scolded. she covered his mouth with her left hand and choked him with the other. he shook his head in protest but gave up when she resumed riding him in the office chair. he tangled his fingers in her hair and pulled even harder as he shot his release inside of her. she finished him off and they had a brief make out session before he tapped her hip.

“how much time we got?” he asked before pulling his pants up and fixing his shirt.

“uh… ten minutes."

“i bet i can make you cum in five,” he challenged.

her eyes widened and she pressed a hand to his chest. “that is a dangerous game you’re trying to play.”

“come on, can’t you make me feel like the boss here for a few minutes?”

his smile won her over and he received the biggest ego boost when she lifted the skirt to her dress. “five minutes.”

he got down on his knees and smirked at her paranoid expression. “an orgasm per minute?”

“shut up.” she pushed his face into her slippery heat, mewling at the curl of his wide fingers and flick of his thirsty tongue. “move to the left… right there.” she held his face in position and watched his tongue work miracles along her clit. the squelching of her discharge mixed with his semen around his fingers was louder than she expected, and she worried about people walking by hearing them.

javi knew how to work the divots and curves of her more than she wanted to give him credit for, and knowing how crunched they were on time he focused on the spongy hill that’d get her to her climax fast especially when combined with tongue despite how badly wanted to taste for hours.

she didn’t warn him or let out any noise other than a few deep breaths, but he could tell by the way her hips jerked on his face and the locking of her knees that she was already cumming. seconds later he felt all he had given her pool around the base of his knuckles. after removing his fingers he licked her and his fingers clean before helping fix her dress.

“come on, we’ll make out in the parking lot,” he whispered to her with that everlasting smirk that she pretended to hate.

“i am never doing that again, that was too close,” she told him once they made it to her car.

“you loved it,” he said confidently. “come ‘er.” his face carried the scent of her and it made her feel good knowing that he’d have to walk around like that for the rest of the day. they kiss until another officer makes fun of javi for becoming a one-woman man to which he just waved off. “ignore them,” he chuckled dryly. “admit that you loved it.“

genie rolled her eyes and a smile crept on her face. “you’re wrong,” she said tugging at his shirt and pulling him in, “but you’re so much fun.”

they kissed once more before saying their goodbye’s and parting ways. when javier made it back to his desk steve could tell he seemed much happier than he was an hour ago.

“fuck are you grinning for?” steve interrogated. the brunette gave him a noticeably fake look of surprise. “what? did you have genie come up here and give you a blowie?” steve huffed and leaned forward when javi’s face went pale. “dude! i was joking!” he whispered harshly.

“do not tell anyone else.”

steve muttered something under his breath but then looked back at his partner through his eyebrows. “where’d you do it?”

he smirked, leaning forward on his elbows. “go big or go home, right?”

“oh-ho-ho!” steve laughed proudly. “you dirty son of a bitch.”

“how you holding up?”

genie gave him an endearing look and said, “i’m alright. i miss her a lot already, i’m just glad i got to be with her in her final moments.” he nodded slowly at her answer, watching her pick the strawberries from her garden as they sat together in the grass. “how are you doing? you know with work?”

“i’m managing.”

she rolled her eyes from him back to the garden. “don’t do that.”

“do what?”

“i’m managing,” she mocked in a peculiar tone. “you can talk about it.”

“i don’t want you to feel like i’m ignoring your feelings, though.”

she glared at him and adjusted her posture. “i’m sad, not broken. plus, i asked because i care about you. we’re not just flirting anymore, javi. i thought this was becoming something.”

“this is something.”

“okay so fucking talk to me. don’t tiptoe around me and give me two word responses because i lost beth a couple weeks ago. you don’t have to tell me what’s going on, but you’re not just managing. i wanna know what goes through your head.”

javi sighed and rubbed her back as she got back to work. “you’re right.”

“i know.”

he rolled his eyes but still gave the back of her head a kiss. “i’m thinking of retiring after cali’s done.”

“oh yeah? why’s that?”

she already knew why. the late nights, the constant losses, everyone dying… she saw how he clung to her metaphorically because she was the only stability he got to have every week but he tried hard to not become dependent on her. she appreciated his consideration, but it led to him being unable to vocalize his emotions which made her feel like there was an unnecessary barrier between them.

“can’t do it anymore. i want you to come back to texas with me when it’s done… if that’s something you want.”

she snorted and gave him a raised eyebrow. “you haven’t even told me you love me yet and you want me to move with you?” she was joking, but he noticed how her eyes bored into his as if she was waiting for him to say it.

he thought it over every time he was away from her — was genie just an impulse for him? just another woman? and every time he questioned it his heart screamed no. she could be bratty, lord knows, but she wasn’t complicated. she was sweet and so full of life that she gave some to him and it made him feel warm inside again. she loved all things and all people, she never judged yet she always stood her ground. she could be needy at times when he wasn’t in the mood for attentiveness but she always waited. he didn’t want to keep her waiting any longer.

“i do love you,” he responded nonchalantly, a frown reaching his brows.

she sat her basket down and turned to face him. “you’re just saying that.”

“no i’m not.” her smile faded momentarily, but came back even bigger; he held her face gently and kissed her blushing nose. “genie, mi amor, te amo tanto te esperaría por siempre. i loved you before i even knew who you were.”

“oh,” she pouted, “you break my heart.” she kissed him and sat on top of his lap whilst reaching for his belt buckle to undo it.

"mm, lemme take you inside," he mumbled against her shiny lips.

"right here," she begged quietly; she pulled her sundress over her head which made javi's eyes touch the back of his skull when he noticed she had no panties on. she didn't bother ridding him of his tight jeans. she just pulled out his velvety cock and teased it along her opening, waiting until he was fully hard to sink onto him. she rested her weight on top of him after he opened the rest of the buttons on his shirt, pressing her lips to his. "tell me again," she demanded. she wasted no time to rock her hips at a quick and eager pace as she lusted after the feeling of his cum painting her wet, rubbery walls.

"i love you." he twitched and moaned weakly beneath her, her movements sending shocks and tickles up his spine. he repeated it more than a dozen times like a broken record and boy was the noise music to her ears.

she whimpered against his neck and her hips chased his orgasm more than hers before she whispered, "i love you," back to him. "i love you, i love you, oh, i lo-love you!" she shouted without a care in the world and watched him through weighted eyes. he held her hips in place and fucked her back, ignoring the strain in his thighs from the fabric restricting his range of motion. "i love you, i love the way you fuck me!"

"you take it so good, dulzura." he pinched her cheeks between his palm and fingers causing him to lose his leverage inside of her, however it didn't stop him. he loved seeing how weak he made her: the way she just molded into him no matter how far he'd bent her or throw her around. he loved how red her face got when he squished it in his brawny hands. "that feel good?"

she nodded shyly in his grip. "yes, everything you do f-feels so fucking good."

"good," he boasted, "you're such a good girl for me, hmm... i love you."

"i'll always be a good girl for you," she told him; he felt his steady pace lose its rhythm and his cock twitched so hard and deep inside of her it felt like his skin had meshed with hers. "i'll always be a good girl for you because you're the boss of me."

fuck. he couldn't stop the arrival of his climax at her sinful confession, his cum pouring out of him seconds later with his head digging into the ground beneath him while he silently cursed at himself for cumming so easily. she liked it though and felt comfortable with leaving it off here. she knew he'd make it up to her later in whatever way she wanted. he asked to stay inside of her for just a little longer so that he could savor the moment and she happily obliged. she helped him escape his nerve-racking high by combing her hands through his hair and a firm kiss.

"my god..." his breathing jagged and his arm trembled around her bare waist. "you're gonna be the death of me one day."

"hmm, that's my job." she put her dress back on to sit next to him lazily pulling his jeans up over his slippery length. "you mean it? wanting me to come back with you to texas?"

he laid his head on her thigh after lighting a cigarette and fiddled with her hand. "course i am. i'll buy us a big farmhouse, and you can raise horses, goats, and shit. whatever you want. i'll make you tea every morning and rub your back when you wake up. we can go for walks and watch the sunset... whatever you want. that’s my second wish.”

"you are gonna be setting feminism back a few years if you keep sweet-talking me," she bantered. they shared a few laughs and smoked in silence for a while before he told her it doesn't have to be that. "mi amor... i'll follow you wherever you go. like i always say… you can be the boss."

"you gotta stop saying that. it makes my dick hard every time."

#pedro pascal #pedro pascal fic #pedro pascal smut #pedro pascal fanfiction #narcos #javier peña narcos #javier peña #javier pena smut #javier pena #javier pena x ofc #javier peña smut #javier pena imagine #javier pena fanfiction #javier peña fanfiction #pedro pascal is daddy

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onestopfanficshop · 2 years

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dating carmy berzatto pt. 2

warnings: language, here's a few nsfw things in here so watch out for that 👀 mdni

author's note: after forever i'm back lol 😭 i started school again and lowkey lost motivation to write so this has been in the works for weeks lol! enjoy <3

gif not mine!

you can count on one hand how many times carmy has called you by your real name. his go-to pet names are honey (he would say hon most often), baby (when he's trying to persuade you, when he’s whining about something, or when he feels guilty), and sweetheart (when he's feeling extra romantic and lovey-dovey). even when you two are fighting or on the very rare occasion that his anger's directed at you, he rarely uses your name

one time when you had stayed over, you left your shampoo at carm's place and he made mistake of using it just to try it out because the next day richie noticed

"did you rob a fuckin' hair salon, cousin?"

"what the fuck do you mean, richie?"

"the fuck do you mean? what is this shit, herbal essences?" richie says, sniffing carmy's hair.

poor boy would turn red from head to toe and never touch your anything of yours ever again

this one's sad but like- it's kinda important i think

obviously mike's death really fucked carmy up. you see him pushing away, detaching himself from the people who love him (just like mikey did). but you coming into his life really forces him to wake the fuck up. family is forever but you're something in carmy's life that isn't guaranteed and that he genuinely has to work for if he wants you around long-term

and he's so terrified to fuck it up but after you assure him over and over again that you don't intend to go anywhere he starts to loosen up a tiny bit and let you in

his family and everyone else at the restaurant can see the effect you're having on him, and even though they were a little apprehensive at first, they're so glad that carmy has you in his life

okay enough emotional stuff :,)

i know we don't see him read in the show but something in me tells me that he'd love a good library date. he raids the cookbook section, you clear out half of the romance section, and then you'd have a picnic in a park after and read each other's books and swap ideas

carmy dog-ears the pages of the borrowed cookbooks to make note of later. even though you've scolded him a thousand times not to fold the pages, he just can't help but forget, okay? old habits die hard

"look, baby, it's not my intention to hurt the book, okay? i swear. this is just easier than using a bookmark"

his favorite fruits are plums (with the skin on) or granny smith apples (also with the skin on)

would 1000% name a dish after you

keeps his hand in yours or on your thigh while he drives with the other hand

he has to set his alarm at least half an hour before he actually needs to get up so he can hit snooze 3 times

speaking of sleep we all know this poor man barely gets any so on the rare occasion that he does he can be out for hours at a time no joke

when you first started sleeping over at his place more, sometimes it would scare when he woke up and saw you sound asleep next to him because you seemed too good to be real :,)

one time he was teaching you proper knife technique before you were officially together; he put his hand over yours on the knife and even though he looked calm on the outside, he was freaking the FUCK out on the inside but for the life of him he couldn't tell why (it's called a crush carmy look it up)

i know it's hard to imagine carmy having a least favorite food because he is a chef, but idk; i feel like it would be cornbread 😭 something abt it just makes no sense to him. he thought maybe it was because he's had bad cornbread, so he made it for himself once and still didn't like it. who would put corn in bread? what was the reason?!

he always keeps you on the innermost part of the sidewalk whenever you're walking together

this isn't even a headcanon bc we all saw it on the show but 😭 this man's EYE CONTACT. good lord. the best (and worst) part is he isn't even aware of the power it holds on you; he would literally stare at you whenever you would talk and you'd get all flustered and he would just be completely clueless as to why

he LOVES it when you grip onto his arms while you’re fucking and he constantly teases you for being so obsessed with them 👀 any time he feels like skipping a workout he just thinks about that and boom he’s motivated

“you sure you wanna go out to eat? i can just make us somethin’ real quick”

would definitely get a tattoo for you once you guys got serious! something cute and simple (idk much abt tattoos lol); would love it if you had a matching one on you in a place that only he could see 👀

neck kisses are his absolute favorite. especially from behind when he gets to completely bury his face in your neck and kiss it into oblivion

literally ever since i saw carm take those jeans out of the oven my brain has been stuck on the idea that has an odd but endearing obsession with vintage levis lol 😭 one time, after the bear had opened up and completely taken off, he stayed up all night on ebay and scored a vintage type ii trucker jacket after furiously bidding on it for over an hour like a mad man

this man's always using his hands so i can totally picture his fingers doing all sorts of weird things to fidget. absentmindedly drumming his fingers on your thighs, rubbing strands of hair between his thumb and pointer finger-- literally anything to keep his hands occupied

“is this too spicy or no?”

always insists that you don't have to come to the restaurant to help but is secretly over-the-moon when you do. seeing you help with the dishes, or scold richie, or laugh with tina just makes him feel all warm and fuzzy inside (and makes him wanna start a family with you oops)

if he sees you he has to give you a full hug. he’s not a side hug kind of guy when it comes you. even if he has to drop what he’s doing in the kitchen and wipe his hands! he always gives you an all-encompassing bear hug and kisses you on the forehead and the lips- it’s his signature greeting :,)

#carmy berzatto #carmy berzatto x reader #carmy berzatto fluff #carmy berzatto imagines #carmy berzatto headcanon #carmen berzatto fluff #carmen berzatto blurb #carmen berzatto headcanon #onestopfanficshop

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edensbuttercups · 1 year

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Is this a joke? Pt. II - Jake "Hangman" Seresin x reader

Read part one here!

Summary: As the Uranium mission unfolds, Jake deals with his feelings and the knowledge that he'll have to talk to you once he gets back.

A/N: Finally here with part two! It's been an up and down week in terms of writing motivation, but the love this fic has received honestly warmed my heart. So, here we go with part two! I hope you all enjoy ♡ Has this been proofread? Absolutely not, in typical me fashion 😌

(also, half thinking of a part three with how the date would actually go, maybe a shorter part but 👀 I am open to ideas and/or suggestions 😌)

Words: 3.5k

As always, requests are open and comments are very much appreciated! Thank you for reading and hope you're all having a good day ♡

He could hear it all.

Waiting, hands gripping the controls, ready to takeoff if he was needed.

Daggers descending below radar.

Hangman sighed when he heard Maverick’s words, feeling the tension rise. It was the quiet before the storm, waiting and knowing that even shit hit the fan, he’d have to be in standby until deemed necessary. Unwillingly, he let his mind slip back to you. Your words echoing in his brain just as much as the ones on the radar had. I have a crush on you.

Now, that wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair, because he had a crush on you. And as much as he should’ve been happy, should’ve jumped for joy, wrapped his arms around you, kissed you like he had craved so many times before, he couldn’t be, because it was real now. It wasn’t something he could dream about before bed anymore, resting his head on the pillow and thinking of what it would be like to tell you how he felt, hold your hand and call you his, no, now he had to face it. He had to choose words that he knew he’d be terrible at choosing, to tell you something that he’d be terrible at conveying. And the worst part of it all was that he had left you there, after such a revelation, and you probably hated him now. And he deserved it.

Sir, dagger two and four are behind schedule.

He listened in, cursing under his breath. “C’mon Rooster. You can do it.” he whispered to himself only, no one there to hear him. It felt small, the space around him, unbearably warm while on ground, beads of sweat slowly running down his brow, feeling like he needed air, needed space, needed time, while also feeling safe there, feeling useful.

You woke up that morning with a knot in your throat, the memory of what had happened still very much vivid in your mind, along with the knowledge of what the dagger squad was probably facing right now. Plucking your phone from the bedsheets, you looked at Rooster’s message again.

Roos 🐓: leaving now. Don’t worry about anything. I’ll text you when we get back, and drinks are on me!

You smiled at his words again, chuckling at his ways, always leaving with a smile even if you knew how much these missions stressed him, having told you the way he felt sometimes, the air not quite enough when things could go wrong so easily, when he thought about his dad while up there.

And then there was Jake. Confident in every way, except for that time he came knocking at your door at 2am after Bob and Natasha got hit by a bird strike and Coyote G-locked. Pretended he was fine, pacing in your living room, apologizing and trying to keep his jokes going, shaking his head in a silent laughter when you approached him, seeing the way his eyes softened when you stopped him in his tracks, a hand on each shoulder. “Are you okay?” That night stayed between the two of you, and even between you there had been no more talks of it. It lived in your mind, though, the way Jake had wrapped his arms around you, the height difference making it seem like he was the one comforting you and not the other way around, and if he cried then it was never mentioned, never acknowledged. He fell asleep by your side, far enough to not feel like he was overstepping, close enough to hold your hand through the night. The next morning he left with a soft smile, thanking you when you handed him his coffee, as if that was what he was thanking you for, ready to put on his usual front in front of the squad. And that was how Jake was. He was a mocking, teasing type of friend, one that you could joke with and pretend to hate as much as you wanted, but that ultimately won your heart by showing you those sides of him that were truly him.

You sighed, setting the phone down again and sitting up, letting your feet dangle off the bed. Radio silence would await you until they were all back, and even if that didn’t help with the incessant static in your mind, you moved on with your day, pretending that you weren’t worried, or hurt.

Hearing Rooster call bombs away had been the first part that caused Hangman’s nerves to grow, the tension in his hands making them tighten as he listened, following each word coming from the radio with a forced attention, ready for his signal. Then, bullseye was called, a smile growing on his face, a silent cheer shared with, once more, no one but himself, but the knowledge that they had made it, not him specifically, but the team. Barely the time to celebrate went by before tension rose again, the enemy missiles getting launched one by one, a mess of voices and screams over the radio, and then, just when things couldn’t get worse, they did.

Dagger one is hit! Maverick down. Dagger one status!

A jumble of words before the order to go back.

Recommend dagger flow south.

Hangman heard the panic in Rooster’s voice, understood the history between him and Maverick, knew what losing someone felt like. “Dagger spare, request permission to fly air cover” He spoke quickly, concisely, ready to takeoff. He had probably messed up his chances with you, but that didn’t mean he had to lose Rooster as well, seeing now just how much of a dick he could be with the people he deep down cared for. “Negative, spare.” he heard back, sighing in defeat. There was nothing he could do. Nothing. Useless, waiting for them to come back, a celebration bound to happen only on paper, one of them lost.

Dagger, you are not to engage.

Hangman almost did engage, but didn’t. His job was to follow orders, and that’s what he did. Yet dagger two did not. Rooster hadn’t followed directions, flying right back to where Maverick had fallen, ignoring everything and everyone else and heading straight back into danger. After all, he had more courage than Hangman had.

Dagger two is hit. Dagger two, do you copy?

There was nothing more painful than that silence. They couldn’t lose someone two people in one mission. Couldn’t lose Rooster. If Hangman was to come home to you, hoping you’d at least listen to him, how could he come back without your best friend?

Hangman let out a low chuckle when Rooster signal was traced again, and fully laughed when it had been clear Maverick was along. Soon enough, no matter how good they were, he got the all clear to help them, flying out to save their asses just in time. “Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. This is your savior speaking. Please fasten your seatbelts and return your tray tables to their locked and upright position and prepare for landing.” He wasn’t hiding the smile he was brightly wearing, adrenaline still coursing through his veins as he flew side by side with Maverick and Rooster, never happier to see both of their faces. They were okay. “Hey Hangman. You look good.” He could only see Rooster’s eyes, but it was evident that he was happy to see him, and god was he happy to see them. Alive. “I am good. I am very good.” He did feel very good indeed. This was the part of his job that kept him going, the adrenaline all the more intense when something bad almost happened, and while he never wanted to lose anyone again, he welcomed the feeling.

Celebrations done and hugs shared, everyone dispersed, preparing to go home again, each member of a team talking to someone while they still buzzed with adrenaline while Maverick talked to the Admiral. All except for Hangman. Everyone noticed, but no one approached him, knowing he had his times and not minding the silence his absence brought, yet Rooster eventually walked towards him, sitting by his side with a loud huff. “So what’s up, Hangman?” Rooster finally asked. He had been thankful of Hangman saving him, and despite not having had the best of relationships with him, his reaction to your words only adding to that, he seemed to have gotten over that once they landed, seeing a truthful relief in the aviator’s eyes. Hangman took a sharp breath in, looking down with a smirk on his lips. “You sure you want to talk about it?” He asked, looking up at Rooster. It felt weird, after so long of teasing and mocking to just open up to him, even if he was the only person he could open up to, considering that he was the only other person, besides you and him, to know about what had happened. “Hard to pick sides when you only know half the story. And realistically, I’m not going to pick your side, but you know.” Rooster shrugged, smiling nonetheless, glad to see the blond man relax, taking a seat by his side as he let out a breath he had been holding, glad for the mission to have gone the way it had, but still nervous to make his way back home. “She told me she’s got a crush on me.” Hangman muttered, letting his head fall back. “Yeah, and you just cut her short with a we’ll talk when I get back.” Rooster mocked, raising the pitch of his voice in mock-tone, rolling his eyes. “She told me.” He then added, noticing how Hangman’s eyes were back on him. “Was she upset?” He asked, and Rooster hadn’t always been the best judge of Jake “Hangman” Seresin, but if he had to judge him now he’d say the blond man was actually genuinely concerned.

And he would be right.

Jake had spent the night before the mission falling in and out of sleep, words left unsaid ghosting on his lips, along with worry in his chest, even if he hadn’t technically been chosen to fly, if not for backup, but the team he had warmed up to was, and he had grown to care for them, even if he didn’t always show it. “She… was… fine?” Rooster spoke after a moment of thought, glaring at Hangman when he rolled his eyes. “Doesn’t answer my question.” He said, letting out a frustrated groan. He hadn’t want to make you upset. He knew he had, and that wouldn’t change that he was mad at himself for it, but still, he didn’t like hearing it. “Do you like her back?” Rooster asked instead of fixing his prior sentence, letting that go. “Clearly.” “So why did you leave?” Hangman sighed, closing his eyes and trying to find some words that wouldn’t earn a That makes no sense, Hangman, or something along those lines.

He knew it didn’t.

It didn’t make sense to run away when the person he did like told him they liked him back, and yet he did. It didn’t make sense to crave your touch even when he had never felt it like he wished, especially not when he’d never get to feel it now that it had messed up. And it didn’t make sense to be here, confiding his secrets and feelings to Bradley fucking Bradshaw, and yet. “I was going to tell her that I have a crush on her.” he said, grimacing at the way the words felt as he pronounced them. He raised a finger when he saw Rooster move to speak, not wanting him to chime in just yet, not having said enough words to potentially save his reputation, or what was left of it. “I had time. Not telling her meant I could choose the moment, be in control of the situation, see how it played out, say it was a joke if she happened to reject me.” “What a way to own up to your feelings.” Rooster mumbled, rolling his eyes but letting him go on. “But she told me, now. Power’s in her hands. I’m the one that has to answer, and I can’t hide behind anything if…” Hangman stopped mid-sentence, frowning as he thought about what he was afraid of. “If she doesn’t like you? She said she does. That’s solved. And power being in her hands…” Rooster sighed, shaking his head, “this ain’t about power. It’s about liking each other.” He waited for Hangman to add something, anything, but he was just looking ahead, studying the floor with particular interest. “Hangman, you know about it. People flirt with you, you flirt back-” “Yeah, but they don’t like me. They like the idea of the confident Navy man that could easily swoop them to bed and rock their world.” He said smirking, before his lips fell back down. “She doesn’t.” Rooster hummed, understanding where he was going with his words. “She likes you.” “I don’t know when last time someone actually liked me.” Hangman revealed, knowing he’d regret being this open with Rooster, but allowing it to happen for now. “Okay, listen. I hated it, trust me, before today you were probably my least liked person.” Hangman scoffed and Rooster’s words, but nodded at him to go on. “But she made me change my mind about you, in some small stupid way. She likes you because of the way you are when no one’s looking. She sees something more, something I don’t see, and arguably, maybe she’s the only one that does, but either way, she likes you.” Rooster went on, not allowing the blond aviator to add anything else until he was done. “She went on about you every time we were together, asking about how you were doing, how you were, yet openly bickering with you when you were around. It was, and is, infuriating. But what’s more infuriating is you letting this chance go, breaking your heart alongside hers just ‘cause you’re afraid.”

Rooster didn’t add anything other than that, didn’t give Hangman the chance to reply, just stood and left, walking back towards Bob and Fanboy, clapping his hands over their shoulders and pulling them into a hug. Hangman knew he’d join them in a few minutes, put on his smirk and go back to his usual self, but he allowed himself a moment to consider his words, his fear. Rooster was, ultimately, right, and he was being scared of something that he shouldn’t have been scared of in the first place.

Time seemed to slow down when they landed back in Miramar, everyone still chattering and bubbling with energy, leaving him sitting in the back until most of them had risen to their feet, eager to get off. Hangman descended the stairs slowly, having, for once, allowed - and insisted - for everyone to go ahead, getting to the tarmac before he did. He saw Rooster turn back to him and ignored him, trying to prepare himself for the conversation he was going to have with you, clenching his hands into fists. He gave Rooster the chance to walk up to you, keeping his steps slow as he walked towards you, weighing his words. I’m sorry for leaving without saying anything. I like you too, I’m just afraid to give you the power to break my heart. I’m not good at relationships. He cursed under his breath, knowing that as much as there words echoed the truth, there was no way he’d actually be able to speak them.

Rooster knew Hangman was approaching when your eyes left his to land on the blond aviator behind him, a small smile on your lips, expression softening, before you let it go back to a more distant one, smiling only when you met Bradley’s eyes again. “I’m so glad you’re back.” You hummed, ignoring the man that was now steadily approaching. “You should listen to what he’s got to say.” Bradley said in reply, reaching to hold your hand, then letting it go when he saw your nod. You were going to listen, yes, but seeing him there, okay and alive, you felt the emotions you had felt on that night bubble back up, buried by the worry and rising once it had gone, and you weren’t sure you could do much more than listen with the sadness and anger taking over again. “Need me to stay?” He asked before leaving, nodding once again when you muttered a no, thank you, watching him walk towards Hangman and pat him on the back as he went to join the others, leaving the two of you alone. “Can we talk?” He asked you when he reached you, expression pleading for something, anything, when the stare you gave him was colder than it had ever been. “Drive me home?” You asked instead, not wanting to be around the others in the off chance you’d end up crying. Drinks at the Hard Deck had already been planned, but you had a few hours before that, and could easily pull yourself back together when he told you that he didn’t feel the same way. Hangman nodded,

You walked in, keys jingling until you left them by the door, closing your eyes when the door shut behind you. “I’m sorry.” Hangman mumbled, voice low and raspy, and you hated it. Hated it because had it been any other word, it would’ve had you blushing, but this made you feel bad, for you more than for him. “I should’ve known. I pushed it.” You said instead, sitting on the couch with a huff, grabbing one of the pillows and holding onto it. He paced the floor, much like you had that first night, going back and forth and back and forth until you stopped him by throwing a pillow at him, laughing when he lost his balance and almost fell. “Fighter pilot and yet a pillow takes him down.” You teased, smirking. “Not my fault, you’re an excellent shot.” He answered back effortlessly, a smile making its appearance back on his face. “Am I?” Hangman nodded, smirking as he picked the pillow up, setting it at the foot of the couch and sitting on it, looking up at you from there. “I’m angry with you.” You added, shaking your head when he tried to speak. “Not ‘cause you don’t like me back, that’s fine. It’s not something I expected from you, anyway, it was just a secret I couldn’t carry anymore. But I’m angry ‘cause you left with barely a word, and you didn’t text before leaving, and as much as I know why you didn’t… I was still worried. I care for you, and I knew there was a chance I wasn’t going to see you again, and I just-” “Stop.” You looked down to see him, eyes closed and cheeks red, his eyebrows drawn together. Shifting slightly, you waited, not sure as to what he was going to say, but hoping his next words wouldn’t be the ones telling you that your whole friendship was over. “Kiss me.” “What?” It takes you a minute to respond, expecting to hear anything but that. You smirk, rolling your eyes at your next words, but go on anyway, quoting him. “Is this a joke?” “I’m not good with words.” He hisses, rolling his eyes too. “Ah, but you’re good with kisses, you sl-” Before you could mock him he reached for your arm, yanking you down so that you fell in his lap, his lips easily finding yours in a bruising kiss, letting go of a shallow he wasn’t aware he had been holding, groaning when he felt you melt against him, your hand reaching to rest over his shoulder, slowly trailing up into his hair, tugging on it slightly. “Don’t tease.” He hums, smirking as he pulls away, lips red and pupils blown, a completely different image from the one that was pacing in front of you a few minutes ago. “Wasn’t.” You say innocently, leaning your head into his hand as if comes up to cup your cheek, a softness taking over his features you hadn’t seen often, not with anyone but you, anyway. And you realize, then, that it had been foolish to think he’d want to end your friendship, his looks always different from the ones he reserved for his friends. “I promise I will find words to tell you how I feel, but for now just know that I like you too.” He whispers, watching you closely and pecking your lips again, happy to finally be able to. “You owe me a date.” You hum, running a hand in his hair again, loving the way his perfect strands get messed up under your touch. “I owe you a lot more than a date, but how does tomorrow sound?”

Taglist: (For those that didn’t explicitly ask me to tag them, I hope you don’t mind being tagged, but I thought you might like to read part 2!♡) @alana4610 @bookaholics-stuff @addietagglikesbands @asshlyyyy @malfoysqueen54

#jake seresin x reader #hangman x reader #hangman angst #hangman fluff #jake hangman seresin #jake hangman seresin x reader #hangman fanfic #top gun fanfic #top gun maverick #hangman

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agirlunfilteredsblog · 5 months

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A GUIDE ON HOW TO STUDY EFFICIENTLY

Hey girls!! I know a lot of us are on break, whether that be in high school, college or university, so I figured I could maybe show you guys some tips and tricks that have helped me throughout my studies…

A little bit about my educational background:

-In high school, I was part of an IB school (the girls that know the struggle, know the struggle). If you don’t know what that is, it’s essentially a program designed to help students get a better understanding of the world and how it works. We basically do the regular high school program + the IB one, so it’s extra workload, but we do get an additional diploma at the end of our studies!

-I am now in college, studying psychology and I was recently invited to join the honors roll for my next semester (super excited about that!!). I absolutely love it and i’ve also gotten the opportunity to study other subjects such as anthropology, world history, art history, etc.

1. LEARNING WHAT TO PRIORITIZE

My biggest weakness throughout my first semester of college was balancing my workload and my social activities. Often times, I would either only do school work for weeks and not go out or simply go out until very late on school nights and get nothing done. Both scenarios are just as negative. I would be drained on the inside, and simply become exhausted by minimal activities. What helped me personally was establishing a clear schedule, which I know isn’t ideal for everyone as we all have differing schedules, but trust me, having that base helps A LOT.

2. SETTING REMINDERS TO STUDY

I dont know if this was just me, but in high school, I would constantly fall asleep and take naps after school. This would result in me totally forgetting I had to study when I woke up… Setting up reminders on my phone helped me remember what I had to do. I also included little motivational messages to keep me inspired to work.

3. KNOWING WHEN TO PUT THE BOOK DOWN

Girls, I know how hard it is sometimes to give yourself grace and put your study books down, especially when there’s a big test coming up. However, it has been proven that over reading or over studying actually has negative effects on your learning/memory. Stressing yourself out will do nothing but put you in a negative state, which is not what you want going into that exam. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, put the book down for 15 minutes and go do something that puts you at peace. Me personally, I make myself a cup of peppermint tea and put on my favorite show.

4. HAVING A STUDY METHOD THAT WORKS FOR YOU

There are many different types of study methods, so I’m not gonna tell you which one you should do as we are all different, but finding the one that works for you does ALL the difference. The way I study is very simple, I establish a game plan (I list everything I want to complete) and I give myself a time frame to complete it. The time frames are always very realistic for me, so I never have to stress about not having enough time. For each “task” I complete, I allow myself a 15-20 minute break and I study for no more than 3 hours at a time.

5. NEVER PUT STUDYING BEHIND

I am such a procrastinator, but I had to learn very quickly, especially in college, that this was not possible. The work load is so much more charged and I simply cannot get away with studying last minute. If you’re in high school, start implementing healthy study habits now, so that once you reach college, you’re already used to studying the right way (learn from me hahaha)!

I am 100% sure that there are more I’m forgetting, but these are the main ones I implement in order to keep a high average and a healthy school/social life :) I know these are very basic and you’ve probably heard of them before but I still think it’s important we talk about them to remind ourselves on what to do! If you would like more of this type of content please let me know!! My next posts will be much more light though dont worry, we are still on winter break after all ;))

so much love,

a girl unfiltered 💋

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lapetiteseductress · 1 year

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overdue.

my last workout update was about 4-5 months ago and sad to say i had to stop my workouts due to a medical reason.

backstory.

i started my healthy lifestyle journey in january of last year (2022). for 2 (maybe 3) years before that, i was 40+ pounds overweight.

thankfully - with the help ($$$) of my benefactor, i was able to begin a journey towards becoming healthier and losing the weight.

and i did it. funnily enough, i did it with just food too. needless to say i'm now a big believer of "abs are made in the kitchen and refined in the gym".

so fast forward to the end of last year. i was eating healthier, i hit my weight loss goal and was exercising. i went to my doctor for a checkup and prescription refill and we discovered that one of my health issues...was gone.

needless to say i'm now also a big believer that you can heal yourself through food.

however, because one of my health issues (that i was taking medication for) was now gone, it meant that medication i was taking (for my remaining health issues) had to be changed/adjusted.

and that caused that some problems lol.

however, the problems cleared up and my body is now use to the medication so i've been cleared to exercise again.

truthfully i was cleared months ago but i fell back into the habit of not exercising.

part of the reason was that i was scared to. but the other reason was that i simply picked up my past behavior pattern of not exercising.

i wasn't acting like her at all. although fortunately, i did manage to keep my weight off (i guess those habits & beliefs stuck).

but for the past few weeks, i started getting back into quantum jumping, law of assumption, law of attraction and last night i was watching a youtube video of a girl that gave one hell of a law of assumption "pep talk" and it got me to thinking about how to become her, what her habits would be, her day to day routine, how she would think, what her beliefs would be, etc.

and today, i woke up and suddenly had the motivation to exercise. it was quite ironic. i didn't have to hype myself up to do it, i just decided that i was going to exercise today.

i kept it simple:

a walking warm-up to a random song on my playlist (3 mins)

lower body workout (10 mins)

cool down (6 mins)

in total it was about a 20 min workout.

and i've already created my new fitness routine.

i'm going to keep my workouts around 20 mins or less with a focus on lower body and abs. 2 days for lower body and 1 or 2 days for abs and then i'll rotate.

but the best part is that i actually got a bit of an endorphin high after my workout. i don't think i've ever experienced that before and it was great. i was definitely in a better mood and just felt like hugging people lol.

it's good to be back.

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poupeesdecirque · 2 months

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Travel Blog: Leipziger Buchmesse Friday

Timcampy's Adventures, meeting Friends & Religious Gold

Day two of the Bookfair. Today I was about to wear the new variant of the Runaway Outfit again, which I had made for the Polaris back last year AND the new Innocence I just made one week before the con.

Day two started very early for me ... I woke up at 3 in the morning and with a cat using me as trampoline and the overstimulation from the day before I was alerted by everything.

But I wanted to cosplay still. And even work with Make up again. I am super unskilled with Make up for Cosplay because aside the curse I haven't used any since my teens and just started doing it in ... October. I have learned quite a bit since then like switching to a different type of make up that doesn't need 5 days to be scrubbed off, that's better for my already sensitive eyes.

I also snapped off one of the nails from the Innocence and learned I need ... assisstance when visiting the bathroom while wearing it. oof.

I'm thankful I was not the driver for this day and just was able to chill for once after being stuck in traffic the evening before.

This time we actually started with taking different photos before the hall got too full, we even made a small video.

For the fair itself the section for comics/manga had started as a part of the fantasy and children's section ages ago and 10 years ago it got its own hall and even was expanded last year to 1 1/2 halls. Hall 1 was mainly artists this time with a HUGE department for artists and several rows of an artists alley along with some merchants. The half of Hall 3 was different publishers like Crunchyroll, Tokyopop, Nintendo and bigger merchants or even other conventions.

I have to say my feeling of hunger was not existent that day but I felt my eyes were getting worse, I even had to put on my glasses for a while, hoping it would be better. Was truly motivated me was that the german DVD/Blu Ray Publisher of D.Gray-man still recognized me and asked me to return with the 1st Uniform to take Photos for promoting the series on their Instagram and I was just .. wow. Still can't believe they asked me.

While we wandered the glass hall several times for finding my DGM Mutuals we decided to give the other sections a visit as Alu had a mission and as we walked through the religious section one vendor gave us a little bible book and ... "real gold" ... uhm.. Mister you know I'm running away from the church yes? :'D

After that we went to one of the big book shops and of course I had to look up some cook books. My guilty pleasure. But this time I didn't end up buying a ton, I only got one.

Back in the glass hall I was finally able to locate my DGM Mutuals and we made a pile of Tims as you can see. Haha. I'm so glad I am brave enough to talk to people again, it was an issue in the past that I just shyly crossed their ways and wished they would notice me, but nope, not this time. I also walked to other cosplayers and told them I love their costumes. Just to brighten up their day.

A few more impressions from the location itself. If you look closely you can spot the D.Gray-man Nendos of Allen, Kanda and Lavi. Oh and I finally got a pocket watch again! Mainly for my past!Allen Cosplay if I will wear it again, the owl reminds me of the bookshop emblem we see in chapter 249.

As we later sat down in the glass hall, we got myself a snack for photos and put aside our stuff and I didn't notice but a friend of a friend took Timcampy and played around with him. Until they complained that parts weren't made to their liking and that was the point I was close to snapping. I can tell my was over everything already with the little sleep I had, my eyes acting up, running around all day long already.

I tried to get lost while we went on another window shopping trip and actually bought a Ramen and an Udon bowl. Just to drop the bag 2 minutes after buying. Then I only had a Ramen bowl and a pile of shards. All went downhill then I didn't want to talk, I didn't want a hug, I sat down and tried not to have a panic-mental-breakdown-whatever. I even went out into the rain just to RUN to get the steam off. I went to my friend Julia who luckily involved me into small talk that calmed me down. But the day was ruined. I returned to my friends but some of theirs popped up and started a conversation, usually they are very lovely and I like them but I just couldn't listen to someone talking anymore. I left them to just walk around.

It was late already and it had started pouring, for now I decided just to stare at the rain running down the glass.

My friends wanted to calm me down, hug me, but I declined. I didn't want to talk. We went back to Schu's place, I had dinner and went to bed, rolling myself into a blanket like a burrito.

#travel blog #leipziger buchmesse #lbm 2024 #dgm #cosplay #d.gray-man

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coastxlwaters · 7 days

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Since art ideas and motivation has drained away, here is a little ramble since I can’t stop re watching some episodes

Btw I’m not fixing the typos, I don’t have the thought process to do it rn-

Idea 1.

So we all know moon is starting to fall back into old moon’s ways? Whenever monty said, “I thought this would happen.” It could mean that when with meeting the original owner of moon’s body and (most) of the code, it may or may not have messed with the memory issue slightly causing some of the more emotional responses to come back to this new moon. Let’s remember he did not enter his mindscape while in a stable emotional level, as he was both grieving for Solar and blaming himself for several problems and not being able to fix those several problems. Let’s also remember, (so much remembering wow) that part of moons code had to be regenerated which caused the reset in the first place. This feeling of holding himself back subconsciously could be that new part of his code trying to stop him from turning out like the old moon.

Idea 2.

Old moon after being woken up by monty and moon has regained some control over thoughts, reactions, and mental stability. We all know old moon was clearly not the most emotionally stable person, like at all, so this insanity that is happening with moon could be old moon having slight control of his mental stability. Reactions would be him almost strangling ruin, and the thoughts would be if he is this is real or not. Since I swear in one episode old moon said, “I can’t tell if this is real or not, if I’m imagining all this happening and driving myself mad.” Could also be from one of my many weird ass dreams.

Idea 3.

Ever since killcode died I have seen people in the comments saying something like, it’s starting to seem like old moon again. We all know killcode was taken out of moons mindscape and since old moon being in there with magic could have messed something up and kept the two codes between the two animatronics tied closely even if not connected by body anymore. So when killcode died it could have transferred part of his homicide code back to moon and since moon did not know it has just been festering and growing, leaving him to act more like old moon. (I’m not saying this was a conscious decision made by our lovely killcode I’m just trying saying with the magical stuff messing with code and death and bodies a lot it could be related)

Idea 4.

Moon has access to tumblr and is traumatized (joke please don’t take seriously you guys do what you wanna do-)

Anyways, actual idea 4.

Solar was a lot closer to moon than we actually thought, keeping him in mentally stable through all the shit that has happened recently and now that solar is gone moon is starting to slip off the edge. We all know he woke up to eclipse immediately trying to murder his whole family, he doesn’t have time to recover since ruin is being annoying. Then ruin nearly kills both him and sun and now are stuck in a dying dimension, they are running for theirs lives every second. Way more than in the actual dimension, don’t get me wrong they are in danger a lot but ruin’s dimension is different. They come back, rebuild, stichwraith is becoming more annoying, earth nearly dies, and lunar gets death threats from astrals. He has not had any time to mentally recover, I hate to say it but Earth’s therapy sessions might not be enough.

Moving onto my one idea with solar and moon.

Everyone is making jokes about sunburn (evil sun) wanting to be alone but continuing to annoy the celestial family. Let’s all remember that he has his moon’s smarts, ability to plan, and definitely a lot colder and more calculating. He could have returned ruin to make sure moon takes even more time to find him. This time giving him time to bring back Solar but instead of the nice and sweet Solar we love, Solar is turned evil. Moon ends up snapping to whatever insanity is taking over him right now and just wants his brother back. Even though sun try’s to stop him moon goes to join solar. Moon still deeply regrets leaving sun and does not hurt him, but whatever this insanity is doing to him is keeping him with solar. Let’s say Solar got a killcode from sunburn (evil sun) and is still there but is slowly getting as traumatized as sun is (not trying to make fun of sun here but seeing yourself do something that you are not controlling and seeing one of your favorite people collapsing to insanity is a hell of a lot to see after just being brought back to life) also remember evil sun is still in the picture and every now and then will step back in to make sure Solar loses even more control of his body. Slowly taking his limited abilities taht sunburn left there on purpose away so solar is going almost as insane as moon.

#sun and moon show #tsams #ramble #delete later maybe #tsams moondrop #tsams moon #tsams killcode #tsams solar #tsams evil sun #tsams sunburn #tsams dark sun

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microwaving-tesilid-argente · 8 months

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thinking about reed's worldview & morality makes me feel sooo insane this guy contains such multitudes it's crazy

(major spoilers for reed's backstory)

like i mean when you take into account all of tesilid's timelines you see him at his lowest and then get up from it and you realise that hey his lowest was pretty low but it really is so far from his default. he did commit atrocities but like it's not an inherent part of him. when he decided comitting atrocities wasn't worth it anymore he did just stop, because being evil wasn't really very important to him anyway.

my read on reed's motivation is that it's not really about him being evil and wanting to cause pain, but a desperate attempt to save himself. i don't really see all his mass murdering as him being inherently evil tbh because like. he had saved the world 8+ times and all of that reset. what is the worth of other people's lives, when any joy they experience, any pain they felt, would no longer exist except for in his memories? i think to reed, every other person becomes like a video game character. it's perhaps disturbing but the immorality of killing them is a little suspect because death and suffering doesn't even have long-term consequences for said person anyway. reed causing some massive destruction is just... morbid entertainment? reed certainly smiles (smirks) more than he ever does as tesilid. glad he's having fun(?). like everyone in the timeline is going to die anyway according to his plans, and they and anyone else who lived didn't have a future even if he did fail, so what does it matter if they died now or not.

but even after he's become uncorrupted tesilid again, it's still clear that he remains angry and vengeful. he chokes and scares the bandit leader Just Because. The bandit leader in this timeline doesn't even know what tesilid is taking revenge for, so all that scaring is really just for tesilid's own satisfaction. Scaring the hell out of the bandit leader is important enough to tesilid that he risks ailette seeing this happen if she just turned around a little early. And in the pandora's box dungeon, he lied to the order of light pillars about having lost his memories about the sculptor's atelier, but "don't worry my memories are coming back!" There's literally no reason for him to lie in this particular way, if not to see them squirm. and he purposely leaves them with ailette, whom he knows will beat them black and blue for him. he's still going to sacrifice himself for others and put himself in danger, but he's not above some schadenfreude and taking delight in the pain of those who'd wronged him, he's not some saint.

he's still angry and vengeful but even as readers we rarely get to see this side of him, because there are things more important to him than revenge. And doesn't that say something about his capacity to love and to be good. Even after hitting the lowest of low, he still picks himself up. He cares about Ailette's safety so much and tries to get along with her family. I kind of wonder if he woke up and went yeah that "destroy everything" plan was kind of whatever let's try something else this time, and picked up his moral compass where he dropped it under the kitchen counter. his attitude to cardinal cartelyena dooming him to a really terribad punishment is really just "yah i was objectively bad so i don't even hold anything against you lol".

like. shakes him up and down. the way he decides to mass murder and then some time after goes actually you know what sorry god that wasn't very nice of me i think i'll be good this time and he genuinely means it. it's so funny he has such a range and it doesn't compromise the integrity of his character at all, his core still feels the same. do you get me. like he's always been intrinsically inclined towards doing good and he has a great deal of patience, but he can also snap and be angry and decide to just be evil but it also doesnt make his inclinations towards goodness any less real you know what i mean.

also he's so good at lying that it's funny. he's lying all the time and no one even questions it, because why would he lie? he's the pushover doormat who always sacrifices himself for others. the only way you would know that he's lying was if you already somehow knew the truth. and you sure as hell aren't getting it out of him. honesty being a virtue (generally speaking) and he doesn't have an ounce of it. and none of the people in universe would even consider it.

edit: i realised that it's not really accurate to say that destroying the world wasn't that important to reed anyway, because reed did expressedly reject ailette because he was so hell-bent on destroying the world. ah well we all have times when we hit rock bottom and he sure hit at least 500km past that. whatever, the point is that he did that and then went oh whoops let's not do that this time and genuinely meant it. what a guy. i love all the character development he goes through. and the great changes he goes through doesn't feel contrived at all.

#s-class heroine spoilers #roast potato #from my drafts #penned august 21

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keefwho · 2 months

Text

March 26 - 2024 Tuesday

11:09pm

5/10

This morning I didn't feel too motivated to clean or maybe I just couldn't decide what so I dusted off my TV area and took a little inventory even though I barely ever touch that part of the room. I took my shower and made spam in macaroni noodles for the first time. It was exactly what I'd expect it to be, and it was good. I also had a pear cup.

For work I warmed up with a couple of value studies of city streets in preparation for a simple cyberpunk background I'd have to do. I finished 2 more of those YCHs today and had trouble on both of them.

After work I took some needed 'me time' but failed to treat myself right. I had conflicting and confusing feelings but either way my body got what it needed. For lunch I made my chicken stew and the lemon pepper I finally got is definitely an ingredient I shouldn't go without.

I did today's request well and worked on my animation for an hour, I think it should be done tomorrow. Then I joined BR's server so I could work on AE's avatar with him in the call. He was playing Dragon's Dogma. I had the energy today to get a whole hour done on it and finished his texturing completely. I left afterwards to chill for the night. I watched some Twitch and tried getting on VRchat for a tiny bit before DS was in bed. We did puzzles, started Monster High book 2, and I started the Halloween world in KH2. After she fell asleep, I joined BD in Vrchat for a little over an hour while I ate my dinner. It was pretty nice.

~~~

I'm glad DS woke me up 2 minutes or so before my alarm to tell me about the bridge disaster today. If she didn't tell me and I saw it for myself, I'd have been extremely worried despite the very low chance she would have been on it.

This morning there was furry con talk in my stream chat. I felt left out because I've never been to one and don't know enough about anything to contribute to the conversation. I also have iffy feelings knowing the kinds of things that have happened at cons to people I know. They are both exciting, interesting, and worrying. In some ways I feel like I can't compete with a con goer in terms of being a relevant friend. I feel jealous.

In the evening I had thoughts going on that made it hard to focus but I got through it. I also opened up again about this old easter story about when I was 5 and didn't get any eggs during a public easter egg hunt event. I usually look back on memories like that and re-tell them like they are funny or that I should have moved on by now but the reality is I still feel shitty remembering it. I feel a deep sadness at a lot of childhood memories but I always push those feelings down. Well maybe I'm not over it and I need to do the processing I never got the chance to do.

While in VRchat I made such a strong attempt to maintain some level of perspective taking. I kept trying to visually imagine a soul/consciousness for everyone I was with which actually helped me feel connected a lot. So for brief periods, I actually felt included by other people and they were people I barely knew.

Things I liked about today:

Making chicken stew.

Playing KH2 for DS.

Hanging out in VRchat.

#journal #diary

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mcl38 · 2 years

Text

new article written by lando for the telegraph dropped! this time about golfing (embarrassing. embarrassing that i’ve even read it but way more embarrassing for him). AND this time it’s actually paywalled, not like the other times. so please please don’t pay money to the telegraph - i will literally 100% always be posting these articles in full with a day or two delay at most. anyways, article under the cut as always, enjoy the read

I cannot wait to get back in the car this weekend. Spa is one of my favourite circuits and it’s always a thrill to race there. I’m also feeling particularly refreshed right now – both mentally and physically – after a brilliant holiday out in Spain and Portugal during F1’s summer break. I spent the first week in Ibiza and Formentera with friends and family, travelling between the islands and generally chilling out. Then in the second I went on a bit of a road trip with my buddies Max Fewtrell and Tom Bale, who are old karting team-mates from back in the day.

I say road trip but the truth is it was a golf trip. We played every morning and then travelled on to our next destination later in the day, going from Alicante to Marbella, Sotogrande to the Algarve, and ending up in Porto. It was utterly glorious.

Yes, my name is Lando Norris. And yes, I am a golf addict.

I thought I would use my column this week to write a little bit about my relationship with golf, as it seems to have become a thing. I'm always getting asked about it in interviews.

Believe me, no one is more surprised than I am that a game I had never really played until three years ago has become such a big part of my life but somehow it has. I probably have Carlos Sainz to thank for that.

[picture of lando’s car at spa last year, i assume during quali but it’s just him spraying rain everywhere. fun times last year eh]

It was Carlos who introduced me to golf when we were team-mates at McLaren in 2019. We started at Topgolf in Surrey, near the team’s headquarters in Woking. Then he suggested I have a go out on the course. I was hooked from the word go.

It helped that Max and Tom took it up at the same time. We’re all pretty competitive so that helped to get the juices flowing. And slowly, over time, it’s just become part of my routine. I now play almost every day that I’m able to.

Am I obsessed? Yes, a little. I use an App called TheGrint, which keeps track of every shot. But don’t think it’s an unhealthy obsession (of course, you can become a golf bore but I try very hard not to be one, although I am attempting to get my girlfriend into it, so far unsuccessfully!) It’s my relaxation away from the paddock. A place where I can go to clear my head and forget about apexes and braking points.

For me, that is my primary motivation for doing it: clearing my head. I know there’s always talk of ‘cross-pollination’ when sportspeople take up other sports. There’s a long list of sportsmen and women who have taken up golf, from Gareth Bale to Steph Curry to Michael Jordan. And I guess there are potential benefits in terms of concentration, focus, and ability to deal with adversity. I probably get more frustrated out on the course than I do in the car.

But essentially I do it because I enjoy it. Which is ironic considering the pain it causes me. Right now I’m pretty frustrated with my game. I’m probably not doing enough lessons and I’m not seeing the progress I want to see. The driver is a particular issue (ironically). I don’t think I took it out of the bag for the last three days of the road trip. I do that classic thing of trying to hit it 100 times harder than the rest of my clubs, with predictable results! But I also have a few gremlins going on in my short game.

I actually need to get it a bit under control as I’m playing in the Pro-Am at Wentworth in a couple of weeks – in between the Dutch and Italian races – which is pretty nerve racking. I’ll probably be more nervous doing that than driving in an F1 race. I’ve played in a Pro-Am before, at the Dubai Desert Classic, when I was paired with Bernd Wiesberger. But there will be so many more people at Wentworth, and obviously on home soil a lot of them will know me. I don’t want to embarrass myself, especially as everyone knows how much I love golf!

[lando in dubai on the golf course with like some guy named bernd but not the safety car guy. i’m guessing a golfer? i assume the ppl who r actually into golf r also subscribed to the telegraph and can go there to check, venn diagram just a circle and all that]

I’m not yet sure who I’ll be paired with but there’s plenty of potential for embarrassment. But I’m looking forward to it. It will be an experience, with the crowds lining the fairways and galleries around the greens.

Maybe I’ll get a few tips off Carlos. I reckon he’s probably the best golfer among us F1 drivers. Him or Lance Stroll. I think they must be off six or seven whereas I’m currently off 14.5, having been down at 12 or 13. Alex Albon is another I’ve played with in Monaco. It’s definitely a growing thing in F1, although I haven’t been able to tempt George Russell yet.

Going into this weekend I’m comfortable with my fitness, and with how hard I’ve been working this year. For me, it felt important to relax and clear my head over the summer break. Golf helps me to do that. I’ll arrive in Spa fit, ready and re-energised, if a little sunburnt after my golfing road trip in 39C heat.

#lando norris #f1 #formula one #golf #(gross)#before anyone asks no i did not pay money to the telegraph myself #i acquired a free subscription off a relative with dubious political views fhdkfjsd #anyways reading an article about golf on the telegraph website is genuinely the slimiest ive ever felt #also the continued debate of whether lando actually writes these - tbh jury's still out. i'm tending towards spoken after this one #anyways hope u guys liked this one i particularly enjoyed lando calling max and tom his 'buddies'#lando #lando's columns #<fyi! tagging all his articles with this tag! click on it if you want to see all the others

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abricktothehead · 1 year

Photo

character lore written down instead of living rent free in my head??? (it’s more likely than you think)

transcripts under the cut

First image (Saturday and Chimra):

>be me >be demon >species reproduces through mitosis, which carries over some memories >only memory from parent is of some weirdass caravan >caravan has only two people in it?? >probably some dealers >have no character motivation so decide to track them down >trail goes cold bc i have nothing to work off of >years later sleepin in some building hollow >feel something HUGE slam into the side >ohshitdragon.jpg >i look down >its the fucking caravan >not even dealers literally just alchemists >mfw

---

hey r u still awake u shed all over the specimens and now i need to redo everything take a shower before going into the room next time wench btw your feathers contain trace amounts of dragonjuice rotten hellspawn

Second image (Fizz and Chimra):

I(19/0F Ghost) want to talk to my roommate's(??NB Demon) friend(20/3F Ghost) but she's always wrapped up in her work. I get that afterlife goals are important and all, but she locks herself in her room for days on end, which doesn't seem all that healthy. I tried talking to her roommate, but his demonic is outside of my hearing range and my DSL isn't that good, so that was that. My friend says that she's always Like That and that it's apparently normal for ghosts. Do I just not know enough about living as a ghost yet?

---

hey r u still awake you left ur hat here again you know if you want to stay you can just ask right were leaving tomorrow but if u want to tag along let me know also lmk when you read this i need to let scrim know if were delaying

Third image (Fizz and Saturday):

I (19/2F Ghost) am being repeatedly lied to by my best friend (??NB Demon). I know they're just doing it as a joke, but I'm actually worried about this causing actual issues down the line. Like, I love them and all, but I can't shake the feeling something actually bad will happen, and it'll be all Boy who cried wolf, yknow? WIBTA if I tell them to knock it off?

---

>be me >be demon >find a ghost in the rubble while getting the fuck out of my exs place >she just woke up after dying >not ready for this at all holy shit >comes at me speaking english, i don't fucking know english >charades.jpg >somehow i get her to follow me out of the ruins before the weeds get her >no idea where to take her >suddenly remember that i have a ghost friend who can probably help >i get to her house >there's no fucking house >it takes a week to track her down bc she insists on not staying in one place >we finally get to her house >at this point me and the ghost have a bit of an understanding >she still does not know where were going >still following tho >my friend opens the door and asks wtf am I doing here >the new ghost looks confused >she doesn't know sign either >mfw

Fourth image (Fizz):

Hey, I just died. AMA!

Q: Yikes. Good luck OP, mine was real rough. What happened? A: Last thing I remember I was rushing home because it was starting to storm. Then there was this bright flash of light and I woke up here, so lightning strike probably?

Q: ,;,';;;',.';,.';'.;,'.;;'.? A: What?

Q: are you okay? Did someone find you? A: Some weird biblically accurate angel thing. I think they want me to follow them?

Q: op do you even know where you are A: Not in the slightest.

UPDATE: We made it to the place. There's some skeleton plant lady here, but she's trying to talk to me with all these weird hand gestures that definitely aren't sign language, or at least any I'm familiar with. Does anyone know what's going on here? Have I just been kidnapped?

UPDATE: Guys, I know what Hell and demons and ghosts and everything are now, I've gotten many many comments about them. Chill. Anyway, I can actually understand what people are saying now (for the most part) and apparently I just got picked up by some randoms. I don't think it's a good idea to contact a ghost resource center right now, turns out we're in a pretty isolated area and I apparently can't die twice, so I'll keep you all posted on how that works out.

UPDATE: Good news, everyone! I'm not racist anymore! Very sorry for anything I said that might have been disrespectful to demons, it was completely unintentional and I now know better. Anyway, I managed to get a place staying in the local caravan along with the demon who found me (thank you to everyone offering advice!) and I got in contact with the resident necrotherapist. I luckily wasn't too banged up by the dying process, just some weird teeth issues and some latent electricity. It hurts a bit to talk out loud, but I'll just need to get used to it.

Q: Glad to hear you're still doing alright, OP, but are you sure that's all deformationwise? Because the way you're describing it sounds wayyy less deformed than any ghost I've known, and as someone who works by the Tower that's saying something.

Fifth image (Saturday):

>be me >be earthling demon baby >literally just a fucking limb with limbs and an eye bc my species reproduces by regrowth like a worm >i get picked up by the local specter >hes obsessed with biology or whatever >PUTS ME IN A FUCKING JAR >tries to raise me like im some kinda parrot or something >figure out how to squeeze out of the pipes >GTFO >end up getting got by child support >they have no idea what to do with me >get sent to some living household, they think i'm gross >they take me to hell for a trip >familiar as shit, food actually tastes like not chemicals >family jokes about everything being as weird as me >family jokes about just leaving me here >they are about to find out it's not a joke >GTFO >no house but food is literally everywhere and water is free >end up sticking with this one caravan >i meet someone >[THE INCIDENT] >i now have a crippling fear of dogs >i pick up a newly spawned ghost along the way >mfw we have 0 common languages >i teach her demonic and DSL and she teaches me english >we are now best friends >boy i sure hope nothing bad or tragic happens to me involving memories aha

#worldbuilding #oc #oc writing #oc: welcome back to hell #wbth: fizz #wbth: saturday #wbth: chimra #brickenson art #sort of

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jimblejamblewritings · 2 years

Text

snakes & bets | part 4.

Summary: Social outcast suddenly makes friends? And those friends are Hogwarts’ most notorious pranksters? Despite being entirely suspicious, Y/N doesn’t question any motives. The world can’t possibly come crashing down around her…

Warnings: This whole story is angsty, hurt/comfort, smut, will end in fluff but goes through all the other stuff first.

Pairing: Marauders x black!reader, eventual Sirius Black x black!reader

Word Count: 4.0k

Previous Part | (Series Masterlist)

Sirius woke up first, followed by Peter then James. Remus always took the longest after Moony Night. The others got dressed and brushed their teeth while they waited for their friend to slowly come to life. Sirius spotted the food first. He picked up a piece of bacon.

“No one’s ever brought up food before. That’s nice.”

“Who do you think did it?” Peter asked as he grabbed some breakfast for himself.

The boys all shrugged. They went through their list of friends, contemplating which one was nice enough to do something like that for them. James came downstairs with a bread roll still in his hand, the other marauders not far behind him. They felt pretty confident in their conclusion when they came to one. The plate of food was decorated with flowers, a lily resting on top of the bread roll mountain. They thought it was fairly obvious. James held up the little limp flower.

“Lily,” he called into the common room, making the redhead turn around. “Thanks for the breakfast.”

“Don’t thank me, thank your puppy.”

The four of them frowned for a moment. They rolled their eyes before heading to class. Not sharing most classes with you was a blessing. They only had Charms, Astronomy, and Muggle Studies. They also realized that they actually did share Transfiguration with you— it was just that you always sat at the very front in the corner so they never noticed.

But Transfiguration was second to last that day. So, they only had to see you at the end of the day for that class as well as Charms. Their day was a blissful one without you. Peter suggested eating lunch outside since the weather would soon be way too cold to do so. The other three agreed with him, grabbing their food and making their way out of the Great Hall.

You were laying down near one of the big trees, body completely hidden by it. You were waiting on a parcel from your parents with a refill of your contact lenses so you were in your glasses. The school’s garden gnomes were outlining your body with a bunch of wild flowers, occasionally stopping to hold out their little grubby hands for a piece of the bread that you were eating.

The marauders noticed you too late to turn around. You called out their name with excitement and they trudged over to you. They sat a distance away from you to the point that it almost looked like they weren’t even sitting with you. You shooed away the gnomes so you seemed less strange. The boys watched the gnomes run off wearing tiny pink hats that you clearly made for them. You sat up and scooted closer to them.

They didn’t say anything but kept eating. Sirius leaned away when you tried to stick a flower in his hair, Peter doing the same when you turned to him. You ended up picking the flowers out of your hair. Normally, you kept them in but everyone tended to point and talk about them. You didn’t really get it because flower crowns were in but apparently random flowers didn’t seem to be a trend.

“We missed the last game but my cousin said they’re playing again on Thursday.”

“What?” Peter asked.

“Last week,” you reminded him. “Our family has box seats whenever the Holyhead Harpies play at home. Mary thought we were coming to the last game but I told her something came up. She said they’re playing home again which is awesome because they didn’t have another home match scheduled for a month.”

James choked on his drink. “Box seats? Box seats at a Holyhead Harpies game?”

“Yeah, she said she needed to know now so she could write to Slughorn and McGona—”

“Oh, we’re going!” James declared.

You smiled. “Yeah? Awesome, we have to leave before lunch but we can eat with the team. Ooh, you can wear the sweatshirts!”

“Sweatsh— uh, yeah, yeah, of course.” James quickly covered his own tracks.

You reached into your bag to check your pocket watch. The marauders watched you get up quickly, saying you were going to be late to Potions. You ran off, tripping over your own two feet but managing to stay upright. They snorted as you hit the wall by accident. James turned to the group.

“What fucking sweatshirts?”

Peter shrugged. “Just say we got them dirty or something, didn’t have time to wash them.”

“Sounds good.”

That was the exact excuse they gave you when you met them at the front entrance of the school. You didn’t mind because that meant they wore your present enough to have to wash them. The marauders looked in surprise when a carriage showed up. They were used to James being the richest person they knew. You just shrugged as you ushered them inside.

The Zabini family probably had more money than the Potters even after splitting the inheritance amongst siblings. Your dad wouldn’t have even made it into the family coming from an average muggle-born background if it wasn’t for the fact that he was brilliant at Charms. But thanks to the Zabinis, your parents worked because they wanted to not because they had to.

The carriage sped away with the five of you in it. You jumped out when you got to the stadium, yelling for your cousin. Mary— along with the rest of the team— turned around. You gave her the biggest hug, having not seen her since summer. All of the Zabini cousins were extremely close and they all watched over you since you were the baby of the family.

“You made it,” Mary said, cheerfully.

You nodded like a bobblehead before running over to where the marauders awkwardly stood. Sirius and James flinched when you went to reach for their hands until they remembered that there was company. You pulled them along, Peter and Remus following, so they were standing in front of the team.

“These are my friends,” you said. “James, Peter, Remus, and Sirius.”

Mary shook everyone’s hand. “Nice to meet you.”

The team led you all to your seats. The boys were surrounded by Mary’s teammates while she walked ahead with you. Mary threw her arm around your shoulder.

“I’m glad you made friends.”

“Me too. We went to the Halloween dance together.”

“You went to a dance?”

You nodded. “I had fun.”

“Did you go to an afterparty? I remember Ravenclaw used to throw the best ones.”

“We went to their dorm.”

Mary paused and looked at you. “See, when someone says they skipped an afterparty to go to someone’s dorm that usually means…”

You nodded, making your cousin gasp. She looked behind her at the four boys and playfully shoved your shoulder.

“(Y/N)! Which one?”

“All of them,” you whispered.

Mary pulled you ahead even more to gossip before reaching your seats. You told her that you were just friends with them but she was still excited. Like with your parents, the fact that you were starting to make connections at Hogwarts was more exciting to her than you. She left the five of you after making sure everyone was comfortable.

While everyone was enjoying the game, no one was as into it as you and James. Every now and then, Sirius kept looking at you cheer for the Holyhead Harpies. You had a nice smile. He abruptly went back to looking at the game after thinking that. Sirius felt like he was going to be sick even thinking such a thing. He refused to make eye contact with you for the rest of the game and on the way back to Hogwarts.

For once, the marauders gave you a genuine thank you before leaving to head back to their dorm. You awkwardly stood at the bottom of the stairs for a moment. You kind of thought that you were going to go with them and hang out after the game but they said they were tired. The boys wanted to add to their map. They were almost completely done with it, just a few corridors left.

“Did you guys see where I put the Invisibility Cloak?” James asked, head buried in his trunk.

Remus chuckled. “Mate, I told you to fold it up and put it in your trunk.”

“Okay, well I was tired, Moony. Don’t be an ass and help me look or we can’t go.”

All four of them began searching their entire dorm. Sirius got down on the floor to look under the beds. He saw the patterned cloth under Peter’s bed, pulling it out and throwing it in James’ direction. He was about to get up when he saw a bundle of bright red fabric. Sirius grabbed it. He dropped the fabrics on his bed. Remus came over and picked one of them up.

“I guess these were the jumpers she was talking about? When did she even do this?”

Peter and James walked over to look at their own sweatshirts. They poked and prodded at them, tracing over their embroidered names.

“Your last game,” Sirius mentioned. “I guess she already finished them… they’re kind of nice.”

Peter laughed. “Well, they better be. All she does is play with yarn all damn day.”

They left the sweatshirts and began to explore the grounds. The marauders barely said hello to you at breakfast the next day. Remus had done the calculations. They earned enough money based off of the bets they did that they didn’t feel the need to go for the little stuff. Now, they were trying to get you to leave them alone. After the quidditch match and the bets, you were useless to them. Even your family being rich didn’t matter when they had the Potters. They figured if they started to ignore you, you would probably leave them by Christmas break. After the New Year, they’d be free of you.

You mimicked their quietness at breakfast. They almost didn’t notice you were there once again as you kept silent and just followed them around. None of them attempted to speak to you either. Even in Astronomy they asked other people if they needed help instead of asking you despite the fact that you were right next to them.

Your hands felt heavy holding up your telescope. This was just one of those days that you couldn’t stay up to watch the stars. Letting your eyes close, your head dropped onto Peter’s shoulder. He pushed your head off of him. You were too tired to notice, staying asleep but now on the floor of the Astronomy Tower. The professor dismissed the class with passes since Astronomy got out two hours after curfew. Everyone left. The marauders got into their beds when Remus looked around.

“Shit, I left my jacket up at the tower.”

Sirius chuckled. “Why do you even bring one if you don’t need it?”

“If I don’t, someone might figure it out.”

“Moons, no one’s going to think you’re a werewolf cause you don’t bring a jacket to Astronomy. Just go to bed, I’ll get it for you before breakfast.”

“Thanks.”

“You can thank me by doing my Charms essay.”

Remus rolled his eyes, knowing his friend was joking. Sirius slipped out before curfew ended right at the break of dawn. The house elves would start cleaning soon and he didn’t feel like tracking them all down to find Remus’ jacket. He climbed the tower steps two at a time. He tugged on his own robe, shivering as he got higher up.

Sirius stopped when he saw you curled up on the floor. He could hear your teeth chattering. Spotting Remus’ jacket, he stepped over you to grab it. Sirius looked down at you once more. He bent down and shook your shoulder, roughly. You woke up, wiping at your face as you sat up.

“How much of the lesson did I miss?” you asked in mild panic.

The raven-haired boy blinked. “Did you sleep here all night?”

“All ni— oh, it’s morning. I guess I did.” You sneezed. “And someone took my blanket.”

“Blanket?”

“Yeah, I get cold easily. The jacket isn’t enough.” You sneezed again. “I should probably go to Madame Pomfrey before I get too sick.”

You got up, shivering at the cold morning air. Sirius surprised himself by following you to the Hospital Wing. He listened to Madame Pomfrey scold you for continuing to take Astronomy when you constantly got sick in the winter from being left in the tower after class if you accidentally fell asleep.

The marauder frowned a bit. He didn’t think it was necessary for someone to steal your blanket. One day, you might actually freeze to death if it kept happening. Maybe they also could have paid enough attention to at least wake you up. He left when Madame Pomfrey kicked him out, stating that you’d be there all day.

Sirius shook his head when he left the Hospital Wing. He wasn’t even sure why he went down with you. That was a lie. He knew exactly why and it made him a mix of scared and disgusted. There was no way he was developing a crush on you. He was going to need to find Marlene like he did the last time those thoughts popped up. The other marauders looked at him as he handed Remus his jacket before sitting down for breakfast.

“What took you so long?” Peter asked.

“(Y/N) w—”

“Talked you to death about crochet in the corridor?”

“No, she was in the tower. Everyone left her.”

They all laughed except Sirius. He stabbed his fork into his eggs.

“It’s not that funny.”

“What?” James looked at his friend.

“I don’t know, I don’t think her freezing to death is funny.”

“You fuck the little freak twice and now you feel like you need to defend her?”

“I just think we could back off of her a bit.”

James blinked, realizing that Sirius wasn’t joking. He held up his hands in surrender.

“Okay, not funny… is this about her falling asleep or her in general?”

Sirius sighed, throwing his fork down. “I think I like the little freak.”

Whatever conversation that the marauders were having was abandoned. They were completely focused on Sirius, trying to figure out when he started being into you. The more they talked, the more Sirius kept finding little reasons to be into you. James huffed out a laugh.

“Well, glad we finished what we wanted to with the bet.”

Remus nodded. “I don’t think fucking Pads’ girl would end very well, you’re really territorial.”

Sirius glared at him. “She’s not my girl.”

“Please, you ask her out and she’s saying yes in a heartbeat.”

“I’m not asking her out. I don’t want to date her.”

The other three boys nodded in mock understanding. “Ah, yes, you just like her and want to shag her up and down the corridors.”

He scoffed. “She barely turns me on, this’ll go away in a minute.”

“Barely?” James asked. “That sounds like a step up from not at all, doesn’t it, Wormtail?”

“Sure does. Moony, didn’t he say last time that she didn’t get him hard at all?”

“Yep, you barely wanted to touch her. Was it because she’s weird or because you were ready to tear her clothes off?”

They laughed as their friend growled at them before getting up, tugging on Marlene’s wrist to take her with him. Sirius was determined to get over you. It worked momentarily. The minute Marlene left and you came out of the Hospital Wing, he was right back to square one.

He put himself in between you and James when it was time for Astronomy. Despite the class being only two days out of the week because of how late the class was, you only managed to stay up half the time. With a stuffy nose and a slight headache, you just couldn’t keep up this week. Sirius suddenly felt the weight of your head on his shoulder.

James, Remus, and Peter waited to see what he would do. He poked at your cheek. He poked a little harder when you didn’t stir. Sirius didn’t want to push you off of him but couldn’t take this. You woke up, eyes fluttering open. The other three marauders kept pushing each other as they tried not to laugh at the tinge of pink that suddenly appeared on Sirius’ cheeks when you looked up at him, still with your head on his shoulder.

“You fell asleep,” he said, eyes flicking down towards your lips for a moment.

“Thank you,” you said.

Sirius’ breath hitched in his throat. It was the same sleepy, whiny voice you had when they hooked up with you. He shook his head and went back to paying attention to the lesson.

Every now and then, Sirius looked over to make sure you were still awake. He was aware that he was slowly giving up. James, Peter, and Remus already came to that conclusion earlier. What the hell Padfoot saw in you? They weren’t sure. Sure, Sirius said that all those little acts of kindness worked away at him. They could understand him not finding you annoying. But nice deeds didn’t make someone hot. Did he not see you with the glasses?

When they got back to their room after class, Remus had gladly risked being punched in the face to make the joke that your pussy must have had some type of grip to make Sirius infatuated with you. Instead of punching him, Sirius chucked a pillow at his friend’s face. He fell asleep with a scowl and woke up the same way. The marauders howled in laughter when he confessed that you were in one of his dreams.

Sirius left early with James for his quidditch match so he wouldn’t have to run into you. Usually, you showed up at their dorm a few minutes before the game to walk with them. He couldn’t see you right now. If he did, he would lose all resolve completely. Part of him wanted to yell at you, make you cry so you would leave them alone and he could get over whatever weird crush he felt. He knew that he never would.

It started with the stupid sweatshirts and then the food then the Harpies’ game. You did little things for people just because you thought it would make them happy. Even when it wasn’t reciprocated. Deep down he found that kind of sweet. It was after seeing you half-frozen in the Astronomy Tower that he let his feelings come to the surface. He knew what it was like to feel abandoned by his family at a really vulnerable time in his life. It really stung him that he— and everyone else— did the same to you.

What made it worse was you still saw a good in people that he had long abandoned. He would never be so friendly with people that he didn’t know very well. But you thought you were friends with them and in a matter of days began to do little things for them.

He laughed at himself as he sat down in the stands. He liked you. He liked you and decided that there was nothing wrong with that. Sirius actively made a small space for you to sit next to him when you eventually show up with the others to the game.

You waited till after all the students started heading to the quidditch pitch to leave your room. With the quidditch game between Gryffindor and Ravenclaw, you had the boys’ dorm to yourself. You were going to go support James in a minute but you wanted to do something first. Normally, you wouldn’t go behind anyone’s back but this felt sensitive in the way that Remus’ werewolf night felt sensitive. They wouldn’t notice if you nicked their map for half a day.

You just wanted to use it to see if there was a way to sneak to Hogsmeade without Filch noticing. If anyone knew, it would be the marauders. You would simply take the map, go to Hogsmeade as a trial while everyone was distracted, come back and return it. No one had to know you borrowed the map and you never had to worry about Filch catching you attempting to leave campus in the middle of the week again. All the good threads were always gone when the weekend came and new shipments came in on Wednesday.

You carefully crept into the boys’ room in case they were still there. Finding it empty, you strolled in. Last time you saw the map you were pretty sure it was in James’ trunk. You found a lot of things that weren’t the map. Moving on, you closed James’ trunk and went to another one. Four trunks later and the map was nowhere to be found. You pursed your lips in thought. Maybe they were doing something with it earlier? It was probably in someone’s bag.

You sat next to Sirius’ bag on his bed and went through it as gently as possible. You finally found some folded up parchment. Opening it up, you got comfortable so you could memorize the map. You frowned when a bunch of words greeted you instead of a diagram of the castle grounds. Your name caught your eye before you were about to fold up the parchment and put it back.

“Talk to (Y/N) for ten minutes,” you read. “One sickle.”

Your stomach twisted when you saw a little check mark and your roommates’ names next to the task. Half of your brain screamed at you to put the paper back while another half said to keep reading. Your eyes glazed over as you read the list. A lot of different names were on there, along with prices.

You felt stupid as you kept reading. You didn’t suddenly make friends like you and McGonagall talked about. You were a game. For some reason this year they decided to make a spectacle of you for their twisted entertainment. The marauders’ names were written down more than once. You sniffled as you shoved the list back where you found it.

It was beyond humiliating that they were all in on the joke but you. You didn’t know who made it and didn’t really care. They could have left you alone. You would have preferred that rather than being turned into a bet. You weren’t even sure why they would do such a thing. Would they even give you a reason when you asked? You weren’t sure if you wanted a reason. Not if it was going to make you feel worse than you already did.

There was nothing that killed self esteem more than learning that your friends only slept with you because it earned them five galleons. More technically but you didn’t want to add up the money on each individual act. Your feet began to move towards the quidditch pitch even though you wanted to go hide in your room. You had friends. Your heart kept screaming at you that you had friends. Even if they were fake, they were friends and you didn’t want them to leave you because you knew the truth. So you were going to go to the quidditch game and support James like you planned.

You sat down next to Sirius. He immediately split his pumpkin pasty in half and offered you some. He told himself that whatever he felt like doing with you, he was going to. When you shook your head, he gave the other half to Peter. He looked at you again to see some tear stains on your face. Without a second thought, his thumb traced gently over your cheek as he wondered if you were late to the game because you were crying.

“What happened?”

“Nothing.” You shook your head. “My… my mom just wrote to tell me one of our garden gnomes died.”

“Oh.” Sirius nodded even though he had no clue why that was upsetting but he was trying to understand you better. “Well I’m sure he lived a good life that… pesky gnome…yeah.”

“Mmm hmm,” you muttered and turned to the game.

(Part 5)

#marauders x reader #sirius black x reader #sirius black x black!reader

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gaecactae · 2 years

Text

some info first// HELLO.

What do i even say, I replayed Danganronpa: Goodbye Despair and my brain went ballistic

Um 🧍🏽

this is going to be a VERY long post but I hope anyhow enjoyable for you. For context, I was into Danganronpa a lot, when I decided to actually post my art in the internet! It kinda. Launched me into having more followers. Then it sort of melted, the interest, so I stopped and suddenly it hit me again, two years later!!! So. I decided to do something bigger and wrote a prologue of a fanfic!! I don’t know about the frequency of posting it or anything, for now it is what it is.

It will be called “Taken good care of.” and will be komahina centred:) sorry, I know this ship is kinda overrated and over popular, cliché if you may, but I really like it :(

I won’t tell you too much for now, you’ll see how the prologue goes. What I absolutely have to say is that. English is not my first language and I think it shows real bad?? My grammar sucks and I do write poorly, when it comes to verbs n such. I hope it won’t make your eyes bleed, cause frankly, I just wanna share this!! I used to write a lot for myself usually, but I never actually shared those works anywhere. Not in English at least :)

Okay so having that said, I think I’m gonna jump straight into posting this! Gonna mention straight away and I’ll also put the tags about those warnings: post game spoilers, cancer, ed. If I find anything else or if I forgot anything, I’ll put all my efforts to fill it up immediately! So yeah, enjoy!! 🥰

oh yeah and I made little illustrations along the story! ☺️

{Prologue}Taken good care of.

Upon finding out about the state of the world we were stuck in, there was no other way for us, rather than go back to the island. Given what we have done, we’d rather contain each other, rather than it being done by anyone else. Maybe someday we will- no. Maybe someday the world will be ready to welcome us back again. For now, we could celebrate on our own. Because… After all, we had a reason to, right?

Without having motives and deadly… bear robots constantly giving us reasons to doubt each other, we were all less scared to live on the empty Jabberwock. Although we knew we had a lot of adjusting to do. Unlike the simulation, the islands had no bridges! That meant learning how to travel via motorboats, which Kazuichi managed to put together for us. Except a couple of times my motorboat whipped out (with me onboard), it was easy to learn and before realising it, we began to race each other at bay.

We already knew the power we held as a group. These people became my family quicker than I thought, even if I was never their classmate to begin with. About that…

It was weird to “make amends” with Izuru. It’s not like we fought for who gets to stay; it was more like… just being at peace with myself. Izuru became part of me, peacefully. It felt natural, but still… It was bizarre at some point. Suddenly I was Ultimate… everything! Though no one intended to call me this. Hell, neither did I. Ultimate Hope sounded powerful enough. But suddenly, I was able to help Kazuichi with those boats, when I have never handled a wrench properly before. I managed to guide him, Fuyuhiko, Akane and Sonia to help me wake the others. It would literally take YEARS and at least three ultimates to come up with the emergency plan and learn to execute it properly. Like- surely some Ultimate Neurologist? Analyst? Programmer? I couldn’t get used to the fact that I alone was able to do what these people would have to work over, for a very long time.

Well… I guess it’s the result that counts. When we successfully woke up TeruTeru and Byakuya, Kazuichi called me Ultimate Jesus… I didn’t know if I was more offended or amused by this silly nickname.

Anyhow, our new life on islands started after arriving at Jabberwock. We parked the yacht in the port and left it until it was safe to go back. If ever. For now, it was island time.

We had to do a little cleaning here and there. Improving the environment would surely improve our wellbeing! At least that’s what I thought. Within just a month, the paths on islands were clean again and flowers and trees were in bloom. Sky seemed… a little bluer. As some say, nature was healing. Next step was taking care of the buildings. Some of them looked like they’re rotting; that had to be fixed quickly. Of course a building can’t rot, but you get what I mean.

Sonia took good care of library restoration along with a few helpers and before we knew it, our islands gained a cozy hangout and chill area. It worked the same way with everything else.

‘Honestly, if you wanted, you could fix everything in like, two days dude!’ Kazuichi commented, when I walked him to the electric avenue. I smirked lightly, shaking his head.

‘And that’s exactly why I’m allowing you guys to do it.’

‘That’s some Usami-kinda-shit. You want us to cooperate to tighten our friendships or something?’ My friend continued to joke around, full of life.

‘You could say that! Besides, you were stuck in the capsules for a dangerous amount of time. It’s necessary to shake up your muscles and wake them up a little.’ I shrugged with a simple explanation. Though my words seemed to fly over Kazuichi’s head a little. He began to mumble that it’s weird how muscles have to be stimulated, how bodybuilders’ muscles don’t disappear once built…

‘Well- how do you spend the days anyway??? You were sleeping too!’ He blurted out suddenly, which made me jump a little. Afterwards, I smiled at him.

‘You can call me Ultimate Supervisor for the moment.’ I let out a soft giggle. Kazuichi let out a quiet screech, messing up his cap and hair with his hands as he ruffled himself.

‘I can’t with you man!! I will NEVER get used to this shit.’ He whined at me but quickly shook it off, seeing Mahiru waving to him from a distance; after waving back at her, he turned to me, fixing his attire.

‘Let me guess. That’s where we part ways.’

‘I was gonna say that! Goddamn you, Hajime… yes. That’s where we part ways. There’s a lot of electronics to clean and repair in those stores.’ Kazuichi hummed, glaring at the avenue.

‘I won’t be stopping you… just be careful with the wires.’ I said calmly, waving as my friend was skipping steps to Mahiru and shouting to me, that we will see each other at lunch.

I breathed in and out deeply, turning around and beginning my everyday morning walk. I had to make sure everyone’s efforts were fruitful. That’s how almost every day looked like, for me and.. it started to get very boring. Ever since we woke up, I noticed I’m easily bored. That probably connects to Izuru. I remember brief images from his perspective and his feelings accompanying them; sometimes they creep me in the night. Izuru was bored by everything, because he knew everything. I often wonder, if his brain worked to the fullest? If we’re told we only use 10% of ours…

‘HEY!! Watch it!!’ I heard as my ears perked up immediately, pulling my head up. There were moments when something unexpected happened and my brain could calmly feed on it. This was one of those moments. The noises and raised voices came from the hospital’s side!

I rushed there quickly, worried, what could’ve happened, seeing a scene unfold before my eyes. Akane was pulling up a whole table from Nagito who seemed to be stuck under it. Obviously, the bright smile never disappeared from his face.

‘You’re such a dumbass- I told you all to not touch those tables!’ Akane kept screaming, while Mikan gently pulled Nagito out.

‘My my, I became a burden once again..!’

‘All it took was leaving the biggest table to me, that’s what I was saying from the beginning!’

‘I wonder what biiig luck awaits me after this enormous table falling on me-‘

‘SHUT THE HELL UP!!’

I saw that Akane was ready to throw hands, so I decided to intervene before Nagito’s spine actually breaks.

‘What’s happening? Is everyone okay?’ I asked, interrupting. All three heads turned to me with mixed expressions and eventually, the whole trio smiled at me. Could it be, I also possess the skill of Ultimate Peacemaker? Or maybe… Ultimate Happiness?

…sometimes I feel like I’m going too far.

‘It is now! Nagito could use more hearing sometimes though.’ Akane explained, rubbing the back of her head. Mikan agreed with her, making a small and rather shy nod.

‘T-True.. we were cleaning up t-the on-call room. In-In case we’d need more rooms. Akane told us she will pick up the table that- blocked the majority of the room.’ She added, allowing Akane to continue.

‘And then we saw Nagito carrying it out purely on his own! It’s like 6 times heavier than him! When I pointed it out to him, he lost his balance and collapsed with the table falling right on him!!’

‘It-It’s a miracle his spine is- is whole!’ The girls talked over each other, while Nagito stood on the side calmly, swaying from side to side.

‘Uhm, I don’t recall that… at all. Oh well; it is what it is! I only blame myself, Akane, don’t worry.’ He let out a soft laugh, to which Akane reacted… much.

‘Uh- Duh!? I blame you too!!’ She bounced aggressively at him. I reached out my hands, trying to chill her down.

‘Okay, okay- let’s not fight. Nagito is in one piece, thankfully. Next time he’s going to listen to you more. Is that correct, Nagito?’ I asked, squinting at him. Mr. Happy-go-Lucky nodded a couple of times, rubbing his cheek awkwardly.

‘I will listen to you with every muscle in my ears.’ He promised, putting his hands together. The conflict seemed to have been solved. I was about to walk off, seeing how Akane and Nagito got back to cleaning, before someone stopped me.

‘H-Hajime!-‘ I turned around, only to face Mikan. As usual, she seemed awfully unnerved. Or paranoid.

‘Yes? Can I help you?’ I asked softly, to which the girl looked around, fidgeting with her hands.

‘I… I really would hate to bother you- and I don’t want to at all- so if you’re, by any chance, busy, I will refrain of course-‘

‘I’m completely free, please go on.’ I insisted very calmly. Mikan simply nodded with a nervous matter, swallowing quickly and glared around.

‘Um… is it okay if we… uhm… it’s… complicated…’ she whispered, getting all mixed up, seemingly. I looked at her calmly, before understanding. She wanted to talk in private with me.

‘Hmm.. if it’s this kind of matter, maybe we could go to the café on the second island? Does that sound good?’ I proposed, and Mikan agreed happily and relieved she didn’t have to ask that herself. We waved our goodbyes to Akane and Nagito before finally departing.

When in the empty café, I decided to put my talents in use again and started preparing us coffee, using a professional coffee machine. Calm music was playing from the speakers, while I got tickled by the steam clouds that left the machine, when I foamed up the milk, humming. Mikan watched me carefully; I thought to myself she enjoyed it a lot.

‘Not to flex, but it’s like, the first time I’m making coffee like that.’ I smirked, trying to engage Mikan to talk. The girl tilted her head and smiled awkwardly, eventually giggling quietly.

‘Gosh… it’s… unbelievable. That you have all those talents. It must be such a burden on your shoulders..’ she blurted out, still watching my hands.

‘Burden… I guess. It doesn’t feel that heavy, actually. I’m just bored a lot; my brain doesn’t have too much to chew on.’ I denied softly, placing the cups on their respective plates and carried the coffee to the table.

‘Did you know that 12 cups of coffee with- well- regular dose of caffeine- is most definitely a- a deadly dose?’ To my pleasant surprise, Mikan said something on her own, as she sat down at the table with me. It was a good feeling to see her self-esteem improve. I smiled at the coffee funfact she told me. I knew, obviously, but after all… I’m a well-mannered man.

‘Is that so? That's curious. I can’t imagine drinking this much coffee at once.’ I answered calmly, raising a cup to my lips to take a sip. Mikan did the same thing, letting out a bright hum.

‘I don’t… I don’t really drink coffee. I have a very- very fast b-blood pressure anyway.. though when you’re around, t-the whole world seems to slow down.’ She admitted happily. I took that as a compliment… My friends told me that often. Again, it probably had to do with one of the talents. ‘Nagito is right w-when he refers to y-you as.. as Ultimate Serenity. And.. speaking of Nagito.. I… I wanted to talk about him.’

My happy little sips stopped as soon as Mikan mentioned that Nagito is part of this matter. Hell, maybe even not only the part. Maybe he is the main subject. Or the cause…? I raised my eyes to look at Mikan’s face, setting down my coffee cup and blinking slowly.

‘…alright. Feel free to tell me everything I need to know.’ I spoke gently. I had to do absolutely everything for Mikan to feel comfortable enough to talk… who knows how serious the issue was.

Mikan meanwhile, took another small sip of coffee and put away the cup, setting her hands together, right on her lap, before speaking up.

‘I-I reckon… you- you were.. you seemed close to him…? A-Anyhow… I… I can’t help but- to feel… t-to be concerned about Nagito! H.. His health.’ Mikan explained roughly, gesturing a lot. I listened to what she had to say, tilting my head. At first, I thought Mikan was telling me that Nagito caught a cold or something… until I remembered what happened, when we were in a coma.

‘Right… I talked to Nagito in the simulation. He told me about being diagnosed with.. f.. frontotemporal dementia and lymphoma. But then he backed out and said it was just a lie. I’m not sure if these were lies or no, but that’s what I can tell you. It slipped my mind completely, but since you’re a nurse, you must’ve noticed something. Could you tell me more?’ I asked in a worried tone. Of course I was worried about Nagito… he used to say weird stuff after waking up, but since he was no longer planning any murders, he became more tolerable.

Mikan bit her lower lip, looking away.

‘O-Oh my… I… I had no idea… e-even though I suspected something- no healthy human… could produce white hair… n-not in his age at least! O-Of course old people- and- genetics mess it up sometimes b-but… his hair s-seems to have had a normal c-colour before.’

‘Yup, they’re sort of… light pink mixed with light brown on ends…’

‘B-Besides… that table situation. Um… F-Fuyuhiko… was able to lift that table up with ease, a few days prior. And- he is definitely weaker… than Nagito. L-lighter too… Nagito should be able to c-carry it out with ease.. m-meanwhile he.. was sweating profusely. As if he was… very laboured from lifting it.’

Hm.. that was new. I remembered Nagito having a lot of energy and strength. But… These memories were from the program again. Not only our avatars were our younger selves; it was all just a simulation and played in our minds and a fake environment.

‘H-Hajime…? I… I hate to bother you with this, b-but- if you could.. take a look at Nagito for me? I- I just- I need to confirm my worries!- O-Only if you- you don’t have to of course!-‘ Mikan got nervous again, stomping her feet against the floor. I coughed quietly, sitting up straight and smiled at Mikan calmly.

‘Calm down, please. Of course I will check him out. You did well, informing me about it, thank you.’ I answered her, making sure she was praised generously. Truthfully, her observations were absolutely crucial. I was so focused with all matters regarding islands and their restoration after The Tragedy, that I forgot about checking up on my friends. And if one of them was in danger… I had to ensure their safety.

When the Sun finally settled, I decided to go for a small, not at all suspicious walk on the beach. I was originally heading to my motorboat though. In our simulation, the second island contained some sort of ancient ruins, overgrown by plants and when we left, the building looked similar to the ruins - but modern. At the moment, we use it as our archive, not only collecting the past, but also preserving the current times. For the future.

The goal of my visit to the archive was obvious! I had to collect Nagito’s documents. Especially medical record, for Mikan to go through. I could read it too obviously, but truth be told… I wanted them all to still feel useful and needed, even in my presence. I thought it was the obvious reason why I allowed them all to work on their own and I hoped it was appreciated by them. At least a little.

I hopped on the motorboat and swam away from the main island. Eventually I looked behind to notice dim lights of the cottages in the hotel. Eventually, most of them went out, meaning everyone went to sleep. I couldn’t help but smile at that. That… had to be the peace we all dreamed of.

‘We’ve made it. I’m so sorry you can’t see it.’ I whispered, raising my head to stare at the night sky, filled with sparkling stars. Chiaki… I missed her deeply. Her death made everyone fall in complete despair and even Izuru himself cried over her body. And it hurt my heart that she couldn’t be there to experience the peace we all achieved. She would probably… chill on the beach or dig herself in the blankets Sonia put in the library to cozy it up. Hm… I can’t be right. She does see that all. I bet she’s sitting in the stars. She smiles at every act of kindness, laughs at every little argument… She's okay.

I shook my head gently, remembering my original task and pressed gas, starting to swim through the bay again. I couldn’t help those short episodes I had… When it’s so quiet at night, brain thinks more than usual.

Eventually I made it to the archive and picked up the documents. When I stood there in complete darkness, with one flashlight in my hand, I smiled to myself, continuing to think how much I actually changed.

‘See, thanks to you, I know it’s illogical for something to stand behind me in the darkness..’ I hummed to myself. Well, partly to myself, partly to Izuru. I used to be horribly paranoid in darkness, but now? Whenever I thought of something that scared me… my Ultimate Logic activates and fear goes away, like that! Unbelievable.

I guess I had to call it a day. That, I thought to myself when I was on my way back. Noticing all the lights went out in the hotel, I knew I had to be very quiet when going back to my cottage…

I peeked at Nagito’s documents, starting to wonder if that was even legal to do? I took the private records… no. Nagito might’ve been in danger and I couldn’t allow anything bad to happen to him. That’s what I promised to Chiaki. And myself, after we woke everyone up. That I will protect them with all my power..

I wondered if something such as Ultimate Leader existed on the list of talents I possess, because… I sure felt like one.

#danganronpa #danganronpa goodbye despair #komahina #danganronpa komahina #danganronpa spoilers #tw swears #tw spoilers #tw cancer #tw eating issues #tw health issues

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