#requited or unrequited both would be so fucking incredible

[goalieprotectionsquad]

ok but can you imagine if the duffels had given dacre the go ahead to make billy explicitly queer. can you IMAGINE. dacre would have acted the FUCK out of that part. we were ROBBED

#i mean he was sort of explicitly queer but you know what I mean #s: st #especially with JOE THOUGH??/ #requited or unrequited both would be so fucking incredible #we cannot fully picture just how good it would have been #like. world peace level shit #plz plz plz plzzzz i want him back so baadddd give me reluctant allies #even unrequited steve would be Too Good like 'this doesnt change anything for me youre still one of us' #and refusing to let billy die in a hole of embarrassment which is what we all want to do after being turned down #steve harrington: friend to the children friend to the gays #steve trying to be his wingman. trying to be cool about it #'hey that guy's kind of cute right' and billy being like oh my god please stop #steve 'I'm the cool mom' harrington

[shaunamilfman]

do you think Jackieshauna was one sided or do you think they were mutually pining over each other in their own special ways?? sometimes I see people say it was strictly Jackie who loved Shauna or vice versa which I think is interesting how people see their dynamic w such stark differences in opinion if that makes sense

i think canon jackieshauna is so interesting because it's like requited unrequited in the sense that they're both in love with each other but doesn't think the other returns those feelings.

the car scene is so interesting to me because of the stark difference in the way Jackie is with her boyfriend vs the way she is with Shauna. she's so short with Jeff, so obviously upset with the way he's touching her. that scene where she stares blankly into the mirror afterwards is so heartbreaking. Jackie's aware that she has to fake every "orgasm" that Jeff gives her, aware that she doesn't like touching him, and aware that she doesn't really like being with him. then the second Jeff leaves and she gets to see shauna she's so upbeat and excited. Jackie's very flirty in this scene ("oh, were you listening to that? 😁🤭") unlike any scene she's pictured with Jeff. i definitely think Jackie is in love with Shauna subconsciously or otherwise.

i have just one question for you. what's gayer, being gay or whatever the fuck Jackie was doing in that car ride in the pilot?

it's "You're the best friend I've ever had, you know that right?" not just you're my best friend. best friends can change but they don't. they're more than that. their relationship is special, it's different from simply being best friends. we aren't simply Jackie and Shauna we're Jackie-and-Shauna. ("i don't know where you end and i begin")

i think Jackie does on some subconscious level knows that she's in love with Shauna. i think a big part of that is what contributes to Jackie not telling shauna she loves her back. Jackie feels too guilty to say it because she (in her mind) knows that she doesn't mean it the same way that Shauna does. then you have shauna who immediately afterwards is asking Jeff to tell her he loves her. she clearly doesn't care that it's him saying it ("don't worry, i won't hold you to it"), but she needs to hear it. Jackie won't tell her she loves her anymore and that makes her so fucking desperate to hear it. if shauna can't have Jackie, if jackie won't love her anymore, then she'll have to settle for the next best thing. someone that Jackie does love, because in her mind that's the closest she'll ever get to what she truly wants.

which brings us to the inevitable question. what's gayer, being gay or fucking your best friends boyfriend while thinking about her?

Jackie and Shauna are both shown being so incredibly jealous the second one of them talks to someone else. that is not platonic friend behavior. the way they look at each other just seems so telling that they both had feelings for each other imo. like jackie is literally going out of her way to make shauna jealous after shauna sided with Tai instead of her. they're both in love with each other your honor.

anyways long story short I do think it's mutual pining. i think canon shauna realizes she's attracted to girls long before she realizes she's in love with Jackie, while canon Jackie knows she's in love with Shauna long before she realizes that it means she's attracted to girls. i really do think they would have gotten together if only they had more time.

#damn that was long as hell. kinda off topic a bit but oh well #anon #jackieshauna thoughts 🩷💙

[fabaceous]

do you think jackieshauna could've gotten together eventually if the plane didn't crash/if jackie hadn't died or were they doomed from the start?

hi anon i know this took a while (sorry) but it's because this is one of my favorite cans of worms to open and i had a lot to say. so thank you for giving me an excuse to talk about it ;)

my answer, depending on the day and my mood, ranges from NO to YES, BUT to NO, BUT.

NO, because i think that even on a pure friendship level they are doomed. their flaws were like, designed in a lab (or a writer's room lol) to tear them apart. jackie is insecure and holds on too tightly to shauna. shauna quietly resents jackie for it and fucks around behind her back. as long as they have these traits, their relationship is a ticking time bomb. they will never make it within ten miles of a romantic relationship because even their friendship is doomed.

NO, because even if their friendship doesn't implode, they are both simply too damn repressed to ever make a move. im not even saying this as a cop-out, like, i truly believe in my heart and soul that they both have latent romantic feelings for each other but they tie themselves in all sorts of pretzels to avoid it and i'll go even further and say they are both REALLY FUCKING GOOD AT IT. like more so than most people. given my own experiences denying my (in hindsight incredibly obvious) feelings for girls (and i SUCK at repressing things) i have no doubt at all that they could go the rest of their lives convincing themselves that some girlfriendships are Just Like That. the human mind is a very powerful thing and the human mind on comphet and repression? nearly unstoppable. and even if they dont have some world-shattering blowout, and their friendship just sort of fizzles out for some nebulous and ambiguous (read: gay yearning related) reason, years later they'll still be looking back at their relationship saying Huh. Wasnt That Weird...Well...Nevertheless...I'm Sure It Was Nothing To Worry About...

like, okay, im gonna spend a little more time with this one because i think their repression is so key to their dynamic. jackie is obviously unable to face any aspect of herself that is even remotely imperfect. gay feelings for shauna would definitely fall into that category given what i assume she has internalized from her parents and her peers and it being the 1990s. shauna, while more willing to accept her dark side, cant bear the thought of wanting jackie like that. its the one bridge she cant cross. she'll literally fuck jeff. fucking JEFF!!! before she lets herself act on desire for jackie (at least not in a straightforward/normal way lol)

i think both of them on some level must feel that they have a desire for each other, or else they wouldn't be so desperate to avoid it. but they are SO desperate to avoid it, and i don't really have anything to back this up other than my gut feeling but i just can't imagine them ever overcoming their respective hurdles of repression, and definitely not under normal high-school circumstances. MAYBE in the wilderness they would've had a chance IF THINGS HAD GONE VERY DIFFERENTLY because they would be free from societal expectations or whatever, and maybe a life or death situation could've given them enough of a shock that they'd finally own up to their feelings. but EVEN THEN, personally, i think it's still questionable. i think this is just so deeply rooted that it would be anywhere from incredibly difficult to impossible for both of them to get past it. (it's no good if only one of them overcomes the repression, btw. then you just have unrequited pining (but secretly actually requited but the other person won't admit that they're requiting it so it's effectively unrequited which would be perhaps even worse and more painful. btw. if you even care))

now on to the other options...

YES, BUT, even if by some miracle they were able to get past their repression and date each other, i guarantee you all their toxic habits would be not only repeated but MAGNIFIED by being in a romantic relationship. like, ok, the good news is, they would finally be free to be openly obsessed with each other lol. but... imagine jackie gets EVEN MORE insecure about shauna leaving her because now she actually feels like she has a legit claim on shauna being "hers". before, her possessiveness (for lack of a more nuanced term) was tempered by the fact that they are just friends, and shauna should theoretically be allowed to have other friends, even if jackie doesn't like it. but shauna should NOT be having other girlfriends. so jackie would likely be reaching new levels of terrified of shauna leaving her. shauna would still be unable to address conflict directly. rinse and repeat this whooooole vicious cycle until it blows up in their faces like laura le--[gunshot]

finally, NO, BUT, and this one may be controversial & a bit more far fetched than the others, but i do think that under the right circumstances they could kiss or even fuck without it compromising their repression. i actually even think they could have a sort of sneaky situationship while still repressing their bigscaryfeelings for each other. HEAR ME OUT. they are both very careful about compartmentalizing their desire for each other and keeping it hidden FROM THEMSELVES. they often fail and it boils over despite their best efforts, but the more important thing is that they think they're succeeding at keeping their desire from breaching containment. and as long as they have that plausible deniability where they are hiding it from themselves, even if they don't manage to hide it from the rest of us (or even each other), i dont think its impossible for them to act on the desire, like, on pure instinct, but without actually intellectually or emotionally acknowledging the larger implications that that brings. and even if the desire breaches containment, they could still find a way to write it off as just desire in general and not desire for each other specifically. especially when they also still have the excuse of being horny teenagers with no impulse control, they could easily brush it off as, oh, we were just drunk, we were just experimenting. or even, oh, it was just shauna, it's not like i actually LIKE-like her, i just made out with her, but its shauna, so it obviously doesnt mean anything.

and i think they could even do this consistently for weeks months MAYBE up to a year or so, while deluding themselves into thinking this is somehow normal or not a big deal. because they have already proven they are masters of doublethink and repression, otherwise we wouldn't have gotten this far lol. but it would 100% also blow up in their faces. the question is, who would crack first? who would want something real? or who would walk away because it got too real? theres sooo much to ponder with this particular scenario and it's all very juicy and compelling (and GOD would i love to see it unfold with my own two eyeballs, can bart and ashley please write and film an AU of their own tv show?!) but i dont think it would ever lead them anywhere good or healthy.

so long story short (lol. conciseness has never been my strong suit as is probably abundantly clear by now) i personally do not think there is any possibility of a satisfying happy-ending scenario for these two. and i personally am perfectly okay with that because so much about them would have to change in order for them to get a happy ending that at that point, they would no longer be the jackie and shauna that i know and love.

#anon did this answer your question. lol. sorry or you're welcome #also if anyone has anything to add. PLEASE i beg #whether its backing me up or refuting me id be curious to hear #esp about the last one lol i have no idea if that made sense or not the way i explained it #yellowjackets #yj asks

[twinge-of-cosmicangst]

Ok so here’s my thinking, Tom has feelings and sexual attraction for Greg, I have no doubt about that because of the last 3 seasons. I think in terms of requited tomgreg on Greg’s side the possibility was stonger then ever this episode, Greg was extremely touchy and the way he told Tom about his rummage 👀 but if I were to play devils advocate and say that tomgreg is unrequited (I can not play devils advocate completely and say tomgreg is not a thing at all because Tom’s feelings are obvious, it’s in the text) but let’s say that Greg is completely straight and doesn’t feel attraction to Tom, excessive touching can be platonic if you’re just really fond of someone, and him telling Tom about his sexual experiences, can be explained by boasting, but more importantly the need for approval from Tom. Greg has been seeking Tom’s approval for a long time, but it was more obvious this episode and before it was mainly from a career perspective, but now it’s from a personal life perspective as well.

Logan homophobically asked Greg “Where’s your old man?” But where is his dad actually, and where’s his mother? She isn’t exactly mother of the year either, she refused to give him any money when he was literally homless and then maxed out the credit card he gifted her when she thought things might go wrong for him when he was team Kendall! As for his Grandpa, Greg probably thinks the man hates him after greenpeace (even if he doesn’t, like Logan, Ewan doesn’t seem the best at showing his love) It may have been a pathetic and funny moment when Greg said to Kerry “I’m like an honoury kid” but it’s actually quite sad because as fucked up as the Roy’s are they're the closest thing Greg has got to family at the moment, even though Logan just tolerates him, I’m assuming Ken, Shiv and Rome actively dislike him now, Connor seems to like him a bit but they’re hardly close “Who has ever looked after you in this fucking family?” So in fact Tom may actually be the closest thing Greg has to family. Greg wants Tom to look after him, Greg wants Tom’s approval, Tom is about 12 to 16 years older then Greg, it is very possible that Greg views Tom as a sort of father figure, as fucked up as their relationship is.

If Greg keeps on having these girlfriends of the week, then he is going keep seeking Tom’s approval of them, but they will never get his approval for obvious reasons, but what if one of Greg’s girlfriends clocks onto Tom and confronts Greg about it “It’s so obvious that you want Tom to approve of me, but guess what asshole? He’s never going to approve of any of your girlfriends because he’s a closeted freak, whose in love with your ass!” If Greg does see Tom as a father figure but then realises that Tom is in love with him/sexually attracted to him, it would obviously seriously fuck him up, especially considering his real dad is gay and parallels Tom in more ways then one, as they were both in failing marriages with a Roy woman. It would be incredibly sick and twisted if they went there, but I think it would be consistent with the themes of the show.

#tomgreg #there’s a possibility that he sees Tom as a father figure AND is sexually attracted to him which is even more fucked #and will just make Greg feel worse #sickos #or maybe he doesn’t see Tom as a father figure at all and I’m rambling #tom wambsgans #greg hirsch #succession season 4 spoilers #succession spoilers

[cityandking]

12, 20, 22, 26, 33 for minah & vesper!

ty tabby!!! // angsty character asks

12. To what extent would your OC go to survive?

MINAH — pretty much any extent. she has an incredibly well-honed survival instinct and she's good at wriggling her way out of situations, be it by talking or by using that high acrobatics score. unfortunate that her latest Get Out Of Jail (Literally) ploy has landed her with the warden taint but don't count her out yet

VESPER — she's shockingly hardy, honestly, and she fights hard. she successfully kept herself and a handful of Ostwick apprentices alive and (mostly) healthy and for a year during the Mage-Templar war, and as patient and quiet and kind as she is, she's not afraid to get messy if that's what it takes to survive. she draws the line at compromising her morals, but she can be pretty fucking pragmatic when she needs to

20. How does your OC sleep at night?

MINAH — she's not an insomniac, but she doesn't sleep super well. it's a little better when she's with a group or somewhere she feels safe, but there are nights where nightmares wake her up or she just can't sleep. she tries to hide it, though. (she always always sleeps with a weapon in reach)

VESPER — she's an insomniac, usually waking super early in the morning (3/4am) and staying up the rest of the night. she does her best to make those hours useful by getting work done, but it definitely wears on her. paradoxically, she sleeps better in the field (someone on watch + too exhausted not to + the relief of actively making a change). in Skyhold, she can sometimes be found passed out on someone's couch—usually Solas' or Cullen's—after a particularly rough night

22. What is your OC the most guilty about?

MINAH — leaving

VESPER — so many hard Inquisition calls she wish had gone some other way. the mages in Redcliffe is a particularly big one, but they kind of pile up on her into one big horrible pile of Bad. there's literally no way to make everyone happy and sometimes she simply can't help, but it still fucking sucks. there's a measure of anger in there too, but that doesn't always mitigate the guilt

26. Has your OC ever had unrequited feelings of any kind for someone?

MINAH — not really. she hasn't had serious feelings for anyone in years and years, and the last person she was into liked her back. she hasn't got anything to be unrequited about. there was definitely some duckling behavior during her early days with the Orchestra, but that wasn't unrequited per se—she was just young and new and impressed

VESPER — she had a bit of a crush on Cassandra and another bit of a crush on Solas, both of which were more of a competence thing than a feelings thing, and she settled comfortably into those friendships (eventually; there were some growing paints with Cassandra and her faith). she maybe had a major crush in the Circle, but there were enough complications that she didn't feel like it was something that needed to be acted on/requited

33. How does your OC let out anger?

MINAH — she gets really sharp and cold about it—telling Nora she doesn't need a fucking lecture, that sort of thing. she's the sort of person who externalizes verbally more than physically. but she doesn't get angry that often (unless it's at herself). mild irritation is about as bad as it gets

VESPER — bottles it up until it comes out at the most inopportune times. she has a long fuse and an equally explosive temper, and her ability to be understanding of others means she's really good at being simply awful when her patience runs out—she knows where to hit to make it hurt (something she picked up from her parents, but she wouldn't realize it; she was too young when she left home). being out in the field actually helps—better to explode at red templars than her closest friends and advisors

#tyyyyyyy #these are so fun #minah #vesper #memery

[singsweetmelodies]

Katie, sorry to have a piarles breakdown in your dms but your charles pining after pierre post triggered me, zo

Charles gets a bf who is maybe blond and blue eyed and may or may not be a look like pierre if you blurred him

And Charles does love him, maybe more platonically, but really he just craves the intimacy with someone, someone who holds him, someone who kisses him, someone who cuddles with him. He knows he can't get pierre (I'm a ho for unrequited but requited love) so he will just settle for being happy instead of being blissful. His bf is more of a chill guy than like a possessive or agressive dude, he is just some guy who just likes charles.

Pierre never gives him the time of day like that (or so he thinks 👀), always busy running after his newest fling or invites him out other than their designated race week "catch up" dates. What charles misses though, is pierre giving him the look only reserved for him, the fond smile, pierre spending hours moaning to his mother, pierre secretly hating his bf but just accepts it (pierre wants to hate him, he even tries to justify it but bf just doesn't do anything, he is an average good guy), pierre drunk telling all of this to este who tells it to mick and somehow lewis finds out who gives charles sage but cryptic advice.

anyways, some day, something happens and bf isn't there to console charles who's on the verge of a breakdown over something and only pierre is there (who's also about to freak out seeing charles like this but controls himself) and helplessly asks "do u want me to call your boyfriend" and then charles looks at him with the most confused, earnest, tearful eyes and says "but you're here why would I need someone else" dumbfoundedly

(maybe that awful thing is someone trying to slip something in charles' drink but ofcourse pierre prevents it because he can never stop himself from looking at charles for more than 3secs and bees the caring protective guy he is takes charles home who hits with what actually happened at pierre's room)

OH MY GOD ANON PLEASE HAVE A PIARLES BREAKDOWN IN MY INBOX ANY DAY OF THE WEEK OMG 😍😍😍❗❗❗ this is AMAZING, oh my freaking word. yes to it all. just. YES!!!!! charles getting a boyfriend who looks a little like pierre bcs he craves the intimacy with someone but thinks he can never have pierre... GOD. that is one track that always slaps.

and i raise you: pierre, at some point when he's still a little in denial, starting to have flings with people who look a lot like charles. it starts with girls - gorgeous, green-eyed brunettes - but then it moves on to guys. maybe he doesn't even realise what he's doing at first, but when he's in a club or whatever, looking for his next hook-up... he singles out the people who bear a passing resemblance to charles if you were to blur them, exactly like you said. and maybe pierre wouldn't have realised at all, but then someone - lewis? yuki, in his blunt but kind way? - asks pierre why he's only been fucking people who look like charles lately. pierre tries to deny it, but then he thinks about it, and... oh, FUCK.

and then yes. charles' boyfriend. charles' sweet, but perfectly, incredibly average boyfriend. pierre can't find a reason to hate the guy, but by god, he can't stop thinking charles deserves better. charles is exceptional, after all! he deserves so much better than average. (maybe this is what he rants to his mum every single damn time she calls him)

and god. GOD. what if the awful thing that happens is indeed something slipped into charles' drink. and what if that something... is some kind of fucked up sex pollen drug. and maybe that's why pierre is desperate to call charles' boyfriend, but he's in another country. and charles needs help NOW. so pierre has to fuck charles, and fuck him good. and for both of them, it's the best but also the worst sex of their lives - for pierre because he thinks this is the only time he'll ever get to have charles like this and it's all fucked up, and for charles because he thinks pierre is only doing this because otherwise charles will literally die, and he doesn't actually have any feelings for charles.

and maybe afterwards - once he's made completely sure charles is okay - pierre apologises fervently and leaves. charles angsts over it for weeks. so does pierre. maybe this is where lewis gives the sage advice 💜💜 and finally, charles goes to confront pierre. "why did you apologise? why did you leave?" and pierre explains that he's still torn up with guilt. maybe he even called charles' boyfriend to explain and apologise (the boyfriend understood, but broke up kindly with charles bcs he Knows. he knew the moment pierre called him.) anyways pierre feels terrible about ruining charles' relationship, and that he technically made charles cheat, which is something charles as a person would never ever do, and... yeah it's just a whole MESS.

but then. charles touches pierre's face gently. "don't you remember what i told you that night? about not needing anyone else if you're there?" and pierre is like "yeah but you were literally dying of fever. you were delusional, obviously you didn't mean it." which makes charles swallow, and say, "but what if i did, pierre? what if i did mean it? what if i've always meant it?"

anyway. 😅😅😅. sorry to take your fricking epic idea and make it just fucking insane. ummmm... yeah. *sees myself out* thank you SO fucking much for the literally incredible pining-charles idea, though, anon, oh my fucking GOD, you are the truest MVP of all 🙏🙏🙏❤️

#asks & answers #anon #genius pierre anons #AHHHHHHHHHHHHH #god the way i fucking SCREAMED when i saw this in my inbox #INSANE. that's how this makes me feel. absolutely and irretrievably insane #(if you couldn't tell from this mad answer i gave 😅😅😅) #no i am properly sick in the head #BUT #just imagine the breath-takingly epic angst of that sex scene #charles burning up of fever and finally getting what he's always wanted #but he can't even enjoy it because its not real (he thinks) #THEN. maybe pierre looks at him a certain way when he comes... that loving look charles has always missed before... #and charles thinks Maybe #but then pierre leaves!!! #and avoids him for the next race weekend #and just. god. GOD. #it is crazy how much i desperately want to write this #just. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. AHHHHHHHHHHHHH #FUCKKKKKKKKK #GOD #seriously anon you are a fucking legend for this #though you have given me a new WIP to almost certainly add to my list so good lord knows i probably shouldn't be thanking you #but nah. thank you. THANK YOU so fucking much for this omfg. you utter legend #🙏🙏🙏🙏❤️❤️❤️❤️ #🦑🏎️ piarles #inbox fic 👌👌

[redxblueihateloveyou]

Am I the only one who doesn’t get why some (tw) are shitting on Haru and Rin separately just for the fact that they reciprocate each others feelings? Because it’s not the feelings they wanted them to reciprocate? Just curious because I'm new and recently entered the fandom. And since when miscommunication in between means that they don't deserve to be happy at the end? Because you're an idiot when it comes to love, doesn't mean you're a bad person. I came from chinese bl and it's weird to me.

Hehe welcome to the madness, perfect time to join! Yeah, tbh that's the thing in the fandom that always bugged me the most. The fact that some act like if you don't reciprocate someone's feelings, it makes you a bad person. I always found it incredibly cringy when ppl in real life for example make ppl feel guilty for not feeling the same way and make you feel like shit bc of it. I don't get why you have to apologize for that or feel bad, if you never ever gave him any hope or anything in the first place.

Nowdays it's thankfully a rare sight already in this fandom, bc most already grown and see perfectly what's truly healthy and unhealthy, it's just tbh only the same 3 accounts ppl keep sending me that are still on that, who also think that Haru is literally possessed in the last movie so I don't see the point of like arguing with ppl like this. It's just they're always getting extremely angry when Haru wants Rin as if it's his fault that he feels this way and always go about it like he is inconsiderate of Makoto's feelings. Implying that they're mad that he doesn't feel that way about Makoto, while Makoto does. I'm same as @tododeku-or-bust for example said here (idk what fandom brought this on, but just in general) also do not get what's appealing about this kind of relationships in the first place.

If they shipped it in terms of like it's mutual I'd get it, but they go on about how Rin or Haru are bad friends bc they're not in love with their best friends... like ?????? I didn't know you owe it to your friends to have romantic feelings for them.

In real life if you found out that your bestie feels that way for you while you don't reciprocate, it's a burden, that'll make you feel uncomfortable and at times guilty when you shouldn't technically feel that way. So putting on someone a burden of "I was pining for you all along", when you know they don't feel the same is giving me this feeling of cringe. So I personally do not get what's enjoyable at seeing it like that in Free. But to each their own kink lmao.

It's like... is Haru at fault for the fact that he was Ikuya's first love too? I do not get it really. Like he doesn't have to take responsibility for everyone who falls for him and he doesn't owe anyone to reciprocate their feelings. Even to Rin. Like if he didn't feel the same way for Rin, it wouldn't be his fault either. But since he does feel the same way for him, it's like... good, great, happy for them.

Like once again if someone believes that Makoto and Sousuke are unrequitedly in love with Rin and Haru, that's not rinharu fault. Haru literally never ever lead Makoto on EVER. He never ever did anything that would make Makoto believe that they're more than friends. He was always honest about everything. Like when Makoto thought that he went out to see him, but Haru just wanted to see the sunrise, he told him just that. He never encoraged anything, he refused to live with him and never wanted. I do not get why it's supposed to be his fault that he doesn't like his friend in that way. If Makoto has some unrequited feelings for him and decided to hang up on this, it's his own life choice in my opinion.

It's like saying that Onodera and Takano for example don't deserve to be together just because they unintentionally hurt each other and got separated for 10 years bc of misunderstanding. This argument is like typical Yokozawa life position aka "but I was there when he left you heartbroken for several years, that means you MUST pick me". As I've said before, that's just not how it fucking works. And just bc they couldn't explain things to each other normally, doesn't mean that they don't deserve be happy now. Being idiots is not a crime.

Or if you came from chinese bl, lets go "Guardian" for example. Zhu Hong also was on about how "why you love Shen Wei, not me, I always did everything for you and I was always there, I even wore heels bc you once said you liked those etc". Like he never asked her to do this, he never gave her any hope, he was beyond rude and open about the fact that he's not interested, he never did anything to make her think she had a chance since the beginning. Just bc she decided to dedicate her life to false hope that maybe one day something might change is not his fault. It was her choice. Why Yunlan should feel like shit bc of that I do not get personally.

I'm just buffled bc like Haru for example is the most caring about other ppl's pain person, but they call him selfish and rude bc of the way he is with Makoto at times, not even realising that it IS in fact what means being kind sometimes.. to not give someone a chance when you know you don't feel it. I was always saying this like since forever, being kind doesn't mean for example giving everyone second chances, loving everyone, wanting to be friends with anyone etc. In some situations it's not being kind, it's being stupid or even not being a good person. Once again... offering someone friendship after he openly dissed your friend and you see that he's not in any position to talk back is not kind. Or if someone cheats on you constantly, but you always forgive them it's also not you being kind. It's you being stupid. Sometimes you have to be harsh. It's for the greater good.

And like I saw several times stuff like someone under scenes where Rin has his eyes for Haru only, commenting like "oh great, look at Rin being inconsiderate of Sousuke's feelings again. Can't believe you guys find this romantic." I mean, if in their opinion Sousuke is in pain from being Rin's friend, he can end it, it's his choice. It's not Rin's fault that he thinks of him as just his friend. So thinking that Rin is an asshole bc each time he simply hangs out with Sousuke he's a selfish bitch is fucking insane. I'd feel extremely bad if my best friend was seeing it this way for example. It's like hella ugly.

This annoys me also bc of the fact that Rin, the person who at the age of 12 single-handedly saved his family from falling apart after his father's death, who's an amazing friend to Sousuke and did everything to make his happy after he found out about his trauma and always checks on him first and cries about his shoulder, who in the late evenings taught Rei to swim, when everyone else gave up already xD, who was looking after Nitori during his training, who pretends to walk the same road, just because he's scared to let Gou return alone in the evenings, the most amazing son and brother, is suddenly an asshole just because Haru is in love with him, but not with Makoto. I mean, thats just... huh? Like I dont mind you ship what you want to ship, it's like to each their own crayons for real. But like dissing them and call them selfish just bc they only see their friends as friends and don't want anything more is weird to me.

As for the fact that bc of the misunderstanding they don't deserve to be happy, that's just idiotic. I mean, lets punish Wei Wuxian and Lan Zhan too just bc Lan Zhan couldn't voice his real feelings back then and bc WWX misunderstood him. Lets ship WWX with Wen Ning instead. Nezumi is cancelled, he doesn't deserve to be with Shion. He left him. Takano should stay with Yokozawa, Onodera is trash. Wu Xie is trash for wanting to be with Zhang Qiling too. It doesn't matter why he leaves, it only matters that he always does. I can't believe he doesn't see that Pangzi is there with him all along xD. What an ungrateful trash of a human being I can't even.

And anyways btw both Rin and Haru are not ideal human beings in any way (otherwise I wouldn't love them this much tbh xD). But their flaws are definitely not what for example mh shippers usually blame them for. You can argue about their other imperfections easily. Like being stupidly stubborn for example. I won't point fingers here, Haru lolz. Or literally anything else.

My point is you can find what to trash them for logically, if you wanna. Do it smartly tho. Otherwise you make your ship look bad.

And I once again say what wise person said about his relationships and about the fact that not being able with someone he loves hurt him and 'why is he doing this to himself' he answered: "it's not on him. my happiness and my pain is for me to handle". Everyone decides for themselves. This is why for example Haru was so broken about voicing this to Rin and didn't have any intentions to tell him that in the first place. Bc it's not right, if you're not sure that it's requited. Technically he has no right to blame Rin for making him fall in love with him and then leaving in the first place. It's not Rin's fault really, that he made him feel what he feels for him, it's ultimately Haru's problem. That's why he feels has no right to blame him in the first place. I mean, he doesn't know that Rin feels the same, that means saying to him "you break my heart each time you leave" and making him feel bad about it is technically wrong. That's why Haru to himself said "no, please, don't say such things to him". Everyone for himself decides who deserves your 5, 7, 800 or 10000 years of your pain. It's your decision. It's your life. If Haru feels like Rin is worth it, then you have no say in that matter really. The only reason we call Rin an idiot or Haru an idiot is because we know they feel the same, so we can. But blame someone else for not feeling what you're feeling is not right.

So like even if you feel like Makoto and Sousuke have feelings for their friends, blaming Haru and Rin for having feelings for each other and not for them is beyond weird. And there's nothing wrong with putting someone you love first, every bro/sis gets it. You can say bros before hoes all you want, but like Lan Zhan might just drop his bro for his hoe, if he was given a choice. Would it make him a bad person? The fact that Wu Xie chose to save Xiaoge before Pangzi makes his a bad person? My point is it's not all that easy.

I just feel like many ppl in this fandom are very weird about many things. Either because they do not get what it's like to go through some things or maybe they just do not get that no matter how cheesy this sounds love is not that simple. I mean, for example not all selfish is bad, sometimes like in Haru's case for example not being selfish is also bad. Bc if he finally asks for what he wants, he will make both himself AND Rin happy.

To be angry at Rin bc of the aftermath of his father's death and s1 I never had it in me, after knowing everything and how adults handled it. If some of Sousuke's fans bc of Yakusoku and the fact that Rin found his salvation in Haru bc he helped him to move forward after getting his family out of this hell alone and that Haru was the safe haven that made him happy in this moment of his life, want to trash Rin for the fact that he "neglected" Sousuke, its like your opinion. I personally do not get it. Rin doesn't owe Sousuke anything. It's not his fault again that Haru's existence helped him to feel better.

Just like not everyone will get why Haru in 1x12 was so happy about the fact that he could help Rin. To be that special somebody for someone who can "save" you in moments of your life like this, especially if you love them is an incredible feeling. And no, your bestie isn't always the person for this job, no. I don't see why people do not get that I guess, that's all. But we all have our own opinion on everything, so...

We same as you do not get it since forever, but its like it is what it is in this fandom. I personally just have another life position on stuff, so I'm very far from that point of view they have.

#answered #anonymous #rinharu #harurin #free! #nanase haruka #rin matsuoka

[lulu-zodiac]

okay, story time, because i really need to get this out.

sometimes, there's nothing beautiful or poetic about unrequited love. pining after someone is something that's so often romanticised in our culture (and god knows, as a destiel shipper, i am more than guilty of perpetuating this myself), but there is frequently nothing romantic about the reality of it.

in real life, the build up of years of feelings for someone don't reach some grand, sweeping narrative conclusion. unrequited love is lonely and painful, and often self-destructive. it allows you to live in the illusion of safety, a fictional maybe that often takes away more than it gives. you can spend years and years waiting for the perfect moment to say something where, if it was a movie, there would be some kind of revelation. maybe a returned declaration of love, maybe just closure. but, often, that's just not how real life works.

i've been in love with my best friend for the past five years since we met, but never had the courage to say anything. at first, just because i was too shy, then because we had an incredible friendship and i didn't want to fuck it up. it got harder and harder to say something as we got closer, because i knew my loving them had the potential to ruin everything. (it's so strange, to feel something so innately pure and good and wonderful, and yet knowing how much damage it could do.) last year, we moved in together, and both talked about how we were the happiest we'd ever been living with each other. we're both people who've had a lot of shit in our lives, and it felt like we both just really found a safe space in each other. this is not to say our relationship was perfect; it definitely wasn't. in fact, a lot of the ways they behaved towards me were really toxic, to the point my best friend became worried i was being emotionally abused by them and begged me to get out. but that isn't the point of this post.

after five years, i was more in love with this person than i'd ever been. i no longer idealised them the way i had in the earlier years of our friendship. i knew the good, the bad, and the ugly about them and i still loved them the way i have never loved anyone. they helped me learn to love myself too, in a way i'd never been able to do before. it was this love of myself which eventually pushed me to confess my feelings to them. they'd helped me reach a point where, for the first time in my life, i actually recognised the validity and importance of my own emotions. for a long time, our friendship had been based off me living according to whatever they needed regardless of my own emotions. i would have done absolutely anything for them. but slowly, because of this person, i had come to see my own feelings as something that actually mattered.

i had always known that in order to move forward with my life and stop living in this strange, safe, painful limbo, i would have to tell them. in the earlier years of our friendship, i desperately hoped my feelings would be reciprocated, because there were so many implications that they would be (e.g. this person writing poetry for me, telling my friend they hoped we might end up together someday, confessing they cared about me more than anyone else). later, i cared less about the consequences and just hoped for the courage to actually be able to voice my feelings. all i wanted was to be able to talk about how i felt with this person and be heard, be respected. for them to value our friendship enough for it to remain intact.

last week, i sat down and told them how i felt.

this was possibly the biggest thing i have ever done in my life. i had never in my life before told anyone i had feelings for them (something this person knew), because i massively struggle with social anxiety and also in acknowledging the validity of my own feelings in comparison to other people's due to past trauma. the stakes were so high. i had invested five years of devotion to this person. they were the most important person in my life, and i was in theirs. but i knew i owed it to both of us to no longer live in silence. so finally, from somewhere, i found the courage to sit down and tell them.

there was this long, long pause after i said it. and then they said: "this is my worst nightmare."

so. there was no movie-scene moment where they gazed at me and told me they'd always loved me too (instead, they said although they did have some romantic feelings for me, i wasn't the kind of person they wanted to date because my chronic illness means i can't be "adventurous enough"). there was no grand, sweeping narrative conclusion. just those five words i know i'll never forget hearing the first time i told someone i loved them. there was nothing beautiful or poetic about hearing the person i loved most in the world telling me i wasn't enough for them because of something i can never change about myself and struggle with on a daily basis. there was nothing romantic about all of that hurt, all of those years hung up on someone who chose those words at that moment.

but that doesn't mean my feelings were worthless. requited or not, i have learnt so much about myself by loving this person. i didn't need them to return my feelings for them to mean something. five years of loving them was not a waste, it was one of the most important things i've ever done. but the slow agony of loving someone who doesn't love you is not beautiful, or poetic. it is one of the hardest things to cope with, and i know i hung on so long because i was terrified of letting go and living in the real world. i didn't believe i deserved to honour my own feelings, that they were worth anything.

in the movies, people pining after their best friends are often shown as only finding purpose and happiness when their feelings are finally requited. but for me, finding those things had nothing to do with my feelings being returned. despite being told by the most important person in my life that me loving them was their "worst nightmare", it actually ended up being one of the most freeing moments of my life. because me telling them how i felt? that was me standing up for myself and saying, actually, i don't want to live in fiction anymore. i deserve something real. and whatever that ends up being is so much better than the claustrophobic, silenced safety of unrequited love.

#i have no idea if this makes sense #i really just needed to get it out of my brain #and i thought it could be something other people might relate to #if you read your way to the end of this - bless you #you're amazing <3 #sorry if you follow me for destiel or cockles #I don’t normally write personal stuff like this but I just really needed to get it off my chest #as misha collins said recently: ‘the truth will set you free’ #unrequited love #pining #first love #personal post #destiel #misha collins #writing #relationships #creative writing #rambles #thoughts #reflection #mental health #anxiety #romantic tropes #tumblr writer #writers of tumblr #midnight thoughts #my stuff

[mianmiansimp]

mdzs au: my roommate is a detective 'verse

>>ok first of all go watch the show

>>second of all due to the presence of the british, the wens' presence will be different bc the sun motif is yikes

>>the major triads of shanghai - lotus pier jiang, unclean realm nie, jinlintai jin

>>there's also a widespread scholars society, lead by the lan, whose base is the cloud recesses institute

>>cloud recesses and the triads avoid each other's business but they have worked together for certain occasions

>>there used to be a nevernight triad, who were the biggest and had a base called nightless city, but it ceased several years ago when the other triads banded together for this big fight

>>cloud recesses assisted via legal means + propaganda spreading certain information

>>wwx was taken in as a ward by the jiang, and trained at lotus pier, but wasn't actually part of the triad

>>not that it mattered half the time bc he's so closely tied and involved that he might as well be

>>he works as a freelance detective, mostly for the public, and has a bit of a reputation bc he's both incredibly talented and effective + is a great guy + has affordable pricing

>>despite the weird thing with lotus pier, he's very close to the jiang children, who consider him a brother

>>jc won't admit but he is very protective of his attractive, caring, selfless brother who always gets into trouble but is so nice and sacrificial

>>look someone needs to keep an eye on him and watch his back bc wwx sure as fuck won't

>>jc ends up accidentally involved with a lot of wwx's cases bc of this

>>from the cloud recesses comes the esteemed lwj, who becomes an inspector

>>the coroners include the renowned doctor-scientist siblings, wn and wq

>>it's partly bc wwx recommended them

>>once lwj gets the job, he starts asking wwx for assistance in cases bc of his diligence and intelligence

>>their partnership becomes an even greater source of gossip - everyone knows the righteous lwj despised the eccentric wwx who is closely associated with the triads

>>jyl + my + nhs, who are partnered journalists, are wwx's primary informants, and by extension lwj once he gets involved

>>jc is very unhappy with lwj seeking out wwx bc he knows wwx is kinda in love and would do anything for lwj even tho the guy seems to hate him and is worried lwj is taking advantage of wwx

>>cue lots of jc vs lwj conflict over wwx

>>lwj has certain Opinions of the triads, and was kinda :\\ about wwx when they studied together bc he thought wwx was an actual member, but then he learns actually no wwx just happens to be a ward of the leaders so technically he's a standard civilian, and so then he's concerned that wwx's ties to the triads puts him at risk and is >:( bc he thinks that the triads aren't careful enough about wwx's safety

>>he's not wholly wrong but not wholly right

>>good time to mention all these rich kids went to school together

>>there's a persistent level of conflict bc of the whole simultaneous pining and not actually unrequited love + the sociopolitics of their backgrounds + the british being shitheads + their actual jobs

>>definitely some fights bc of the dissonance, both wwx vs lwj and jc vs lwj

>>additionally: relationships!!

>>nhs, jc, wwx, wn are renowned Bros (jzx becomes honorable mention when he gets his shit together)

>>lwj and mianmian, who left jinlintai to marry a cute baker and be a lawyer, are besties

>>mianmian, jyl, wq, qs are equivalent to the Bros

>>my, lxc (who is a scholar), nmj (who is only an heir bc his dad's alive) are "bros"

>>also additionally: lwj is secretly kinda baffled by how wwx is completely unfazed by gore (and the crimes get pretty gory sometimes) but as soon as there's even the hint of a dog's presence he makes a run for it

>>also also additionally: ever so charming wwx naturally has many 'suitors' but bc he's oblivious and self deprecating he doesn't realize and so jc is persistently Protecting his brother's Honor from these Despicable Bloodthirsty Beasts yes, this includes lwj, when he realizes wangxian requite the other's feelings

>>also also also: i can't believe i forgot to mention that lwj and wwx end up roommates bc i'm a tropey bitch

[ main . ao3 ]

#mdzs #cql #the untamed #mo dao zu shi #chen qing ling #grandmaster of demonic cultivation #my roommate is a detective #my roommate is a detective au #mdzs au #cql au #the untamed au #mo dao zu shi au #chen qing ling au #grandmaster of demonic cultivation au #wangxian au #1920s shanghai #triads au #i talk in circles can you tell #oh my god they were roommates #not!fics

[bounce-a-coin-off-your-witcher]

He Could Be the One

(Part Two of the Hannah Montana au that nobody asked for but that’s actually really fun to write)

---

Geralt slips into the alleyway behind the venue and clambers his way onto a pile of empty boxes outside the star’s green room. If he can’t take Jaskier to see Dandelion then he can certainly take an exclusive picture of Dandelion to give Jaskier. Hopefully his unrequited crush would be one step closer to, well, requiting things.

When Geralt finally reaches the top of the pile and peeks in through the window, though, that plan goes to shit. He watches with wide, shocked amber eyes as Dandelion removes what is, apparently, a heavily styled blonde wig. Underneath the disguise is a shock of messy, chestnut brown hair.

When Dandelion turns around to face the window again, his makeup removed and his wig clutched in his hand, Geralt gasps in shock and loses his grip on the rough bricks of the windowsill. 

“Fuck!” he cries, falling backwards onto his ass in the alley. The camera he’d rented from the school newspaper goes hurtling off into the darkness, probably broken. 

He knows that face. He knows that soft-looking brown hair.

Dandelion and Jaskier are one in the same.

A moment after he hits the ground, the venue’s back door bursts open and Jaskier glances around, brows furrowed with worry. “Hello? Are you okay out here?”

“Hnnn...” Geralt groans, rubbing the spot on his hip where his body had first connected with the ground. He knows it’s going to bruise; if this is even really happening. It feels like a dream. Like something that only happens on the Disney channel but never in real life (this cannot be real life). If it does bruise well...holy fucking shit, Jaskier is a pop star.

“G-Geralt!?” Jaskier glances between his classmate, still laying sprawled against the dirty asphalt of the alley in a state of apparent catatonia, and the wig still clutched in his hand. “Well shit.”

“You-you’re-” he gawks, pointing up at Jaskier. You know, like an idiot. “You’re Dandelion!”

“Ta da?” Jaskier half-smiles. The slender brunette is clearly exhausted from the show he’s just put on and now he looks anxious on top of it. Seeing just how vulnerable and scared Jaskier seems, Geralt’s heart melts in his chest. It always melts when he sees the cute junior; he’s had a crush on the other boy for months. Ever since he’d transferred into Geralt’s English class. 

The same junior who is, apparently, an internationally recognized pop sensation with a net worth somewhere in the millions. 

“G...Geralt?” Jaskier asks again, waving his hand in front of the older boy’s face. “Hello?”

“You’re uh...” Geralt is trying desperately to unstick his tongue from the roof of his mouth so he can fucking say something and stop staring like a fool. “Holy shit, you’re Dandelion. That’s why you’re always humming his - your songs between classes, isn’t it?”

“Yeah.”

“Fuck.”

“Yeah.”

“I think I broke the school’s only camera,” Geralt says, gesturing out into the darkness. “But it was worth it.”

“Want to come sit in my green room and chat? My manager is probably going to want you to sign an NDA or some shit,” Jaskier sighs. “I don’t know. I’ll let him handle it. I’m too tired. That was fun, but I’m exhausted. And hungry.”

“I’m so sorry.” It’s the only thing Geralt can think to say as he stands up and dusts himself off. He hadn’t meant to encroach on such an enormous and personal secret; he’d just wanted a gift for... “I was trying to take a picture of Dandelion to give to this guy at school that I like.”

“Oh yeah?” Jaskier smiles, leading Geralt into the warmth of the green room. The shorter boy takes a seat on a very comfortable looking couch and pats the cushion next to him. “Come sit, I don’t bite.”

The nervous senior lowers himself onto the couch as if he’s afraid it might come alive and eat him. His ass is perched on the very edge; ready to take flight at any moment if necessary. “It was going to be a gift for him. His name is uh, it’s Jaskier.”

“What?”

“I thought you were busy tonight,” Geralt gestures vaguely towards the wig, “Although I didn’t think it would be anything like this. Since you couldn’t be here with me, I was going to take a one-of-a-kind candid picture of Dandelion as a gift for you.” 

“That’s incredibly sweet, Geralt,” the pop-star croons, placing a casual hand on his classmate’s knee. Geralt is very, very close to swooning (which he will never admit out loud). 

“Am I going to be in trouble?”

“No. Probably not. Promise you won’t tell anyone?”

“I’d never do anything to hurt you or break your trust, Jask.”

The young pop icon smiles, ducks his head, and blushes. Geralt has never been happier before in his entire fucking life.

---

Dandelion has a show two towns over the following weekend. Jaskier gives Geralt a free ticket (complete with a backstage pass) and begs him to come along and see some kind of ‘cool surprise’. The senior is flabbergasted, holding the laminated papers in his hands as if they’re the holy grail. 

They might as well be.

---

“So I’ve got a new album coming out,” Dandelion announces towards the end of his set. “And since you’ve been such a wonderful and rowdy crowd, I think you deserve a sneak peek. What do you think?”

The audience’s response is nearly deafening. Geralt’s chest is being crushed against a black metal barrier by a wave of other giddy teens but he doesn’t give a shit. He wants to be as close to the stage as possible; he could wake up from this dream at any moment and he really wants to enjoy it until then.

“This one is for my homecoming date,” Dandelion states. He shoots a quick wink in Geralt’s direction and the senior’s heart stops rather suddenly in his chest. 

Jaskier is waiting for him to answer. To give him the affirmative. To reassure him that his declaration has been met with with agreement. 

Geralt nods subtly and watches the pop star’s beautiful, bright blue eyes light up with joy. “Alright!”

The beat picks up quickly and Dandelion is lost to the music. After every few words he glances surreptitiously in Geralt’s direction and the white-haired high schooler realizes rather suddenly how exciting this really is. A fucking millionaire pop star is masquerading as a regular kid at his high school. The kid he’s had a quiet crush on for quite some time. A kid that likes him back. Dandelion starts to sing and Geralt is jolted out of his thoughts by the pointed lyrics. 

“Smooth-talking. So rocking. He's got everything that a guy's wanting. Guitar cutie, He plays it groovy; And I can't keep myself from doing something stupid...”

---

When the show is over and Geralt is alone with Jaskier/Dandelion backstage, the younger boy steps forward and reaches out tentatively. Geralt takes his hand and twines their fingers together comfortably. Confidently. “So, would you perhaps be interested in being my boyfriend?”

“Which one of you?” Geralt teases.

“Both. You  might be in some tabloids. Gay celebrities are, unfortunately, still kind of a novelty. Especially young ones.”

“This isn’t fair,” Geralt whispers. 

“What’s not fair?” Jaskier replies, sounding panicked. Geralt pulls Jaskier and releases their clasped hands to embrace him tightly.  

“How am I supposed to impress you with a cool prom-posal if you ask me to homecoming like that?” he grumbles, “It’s not fair. I’m not a rich, hot pop star. At best you’re getting a public display of devotion and affection and at worst you’re getting dinner from McDonald’s.”

“You think I’m hot!?” Jaskier giggles, the rest of the context only slightly less important somehow. His fingers grip the front of Geralt’s shirt and the older boy barely resists the urge to shudder. He’s never really been this close to someone before and he really likes it. Especially since it’s Jaskier. Then the younger boy shocks him again by going off on a tangential monologue.“You’re insane if you think I’m the hot one in this potential relationship! You have the softest looking naturally white hair I’ve ever seen. Your shoulders are fucking beautiful and if you murdered me by suffocating me with your pecs then I would die a very happy guy.”

When Jaskier looks up into Geralt’s face he sees that the older boy is blushing furiously and desperately trying to avoid any kind of eye contact. His hand on Jaskier’s waist twitches anxiously. Aw, he’s shy! 

“I can’t wait for homecoming,” Geralt finally mutters. 

“I can’t wait for you to shut up and kiss me.”

“Really?”

Jaskier, the international pop star and millionaire, leans up onto the tips of his bedazzled converse and smiles. “Yeah. I would really like it if you kissed me.”

Geralt, the shy high school senior with an interest in photojournalism, presses their lips together slowly. Jaskier’s hand finds its way into Geralt’s hair and tangles there comfortably. Geralt’s hand squeezes against the younger man’s soft, slender hip. He lets himself feel a touch of velvet-soft skin here and there as Jaskier’s shirt rides up or moves along with them.

They stay wrapped up in each other like that until Dandelion’s manager knocks on the door. He calls through the door. “Well you’re going to have to sign some paperwork if you want to be his boyfriend for real.”

Jaskier bites his lip and looks at Geralt with nervous anticipation written across his face. 

Geralt smiles and pulls Jaskier close again. “Where’s the pen?”

#geraskier fanfic #geraskier fic #geraskier ficlet #geraskier #geraskier hannah montana au #hannah montana au??? #jaskier as hannah montana #geralt is having a good time #soft geralt #soft jaskier #soft geraskier #shy geralt #journalist geralt #high school au #witcher high school au #witcher hannah montana au apparently #he could be the one

[bisluthq]

hi I was wondering what your favourite sapphic songs of Taylor's are? cause kaylors make such a big deal of the 'male perspective' in songs like our song, love story, mine. and I agree that wanting to experience that is gay in itself. but those songs just feel so straight country love songs that I really cannot see them as sapphic, particularly given that she also sings from the 'female perspective' to the man. so I wondered which songs feel most sapphic to you?

Ohh boy yeah the male perspective (except Betty where it’s gay in concept and feels very like when 15 year old me was obsessed with Blue Mountain State lmao) never screams gay to me. Let’s do a roundup of sapphic lyrics and themes.

In Teardrops on My Guitar, Taylor says: “Drew walks by me... Can he tell that I can't breathe? And there he goes, so perfectly... The kind of flawless I wish I could be.” Now the whole song’s unseen pining is pretty gay to me. Like I say, there are unrequited straight songs but it’s very like... “why aren’t you understanding that I’m right here? How can you be so blind?” In Teardrops Taylor seems very aware that this person (well boy in the song) won’t ever notice her.

And sure we could say “well she has poor self-confidence” but then there’s that line in the bit I chose: “The kind of flawless I wish I could be” - why is she comparing herself to a boy? Do I want to be you or do I want to fuck you is such a big mood for queer women especially young queer women. I dunno, like my first few late elementary/early middle school crushes (and my first few crushes were on girls) were very like: “Do I want to be her? Do I want to be her best friend? Or do I want her to hold my hand? And why does her holding my hand make my heart beat faster and seem to have no effect on her?” There’s a definite way queer women compare ourselves to the object of our affections that straight women don’t seem to do that makes “my crush is the kind of flawless I wish I could be” feel extremely sapphic to me.

Oh bonus one from Teardrops: “The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star / He's the song in the car I keep singing. Don't know why I do” - why doesn’t she know? Like what’s confusing about this situation? She likes this dude why is it such a big fucking deal that she does? And again why does she want to be like him?

Anyway yeah that whole song.

Also Invisible is gay af. Like if you reverse the pronouns it’s the universal queer woman’s story of being in love with your friend. And this bitch is into some dude who isn’t anywhere near good enough for her and your affections are invisible but if she only knew - and she won’t - the two of you could have something beautiful together.

Stay Beautiful also reads gay but apparently she wrote it in the fourth grade so maybe her vocab was just bad idk.

On that album, Tied Together with a Smile and I’m Only Me When I’m With You are formally, officially, according to Tay’s explanations about her female friends btw. If you listen to those two songs and then the first two I listed they’re... not that fucking different lmao. It’s that same idea of “you get me and I just want you to be happy”. It’s all just... gay...

Fearless is probably one of the least gay albums overall IMO (tho I’m open to people making stuff gay) but it does give us the title track which is very fucking gay lol so it makes up for the number of straight sounding songs on here. First there’s this bit:

We're drivin' down the road

I wonder if you know

I'm tryin' so hard not to get caught up now

But you're just so cool

Run your hands through your hair

Absent-mindedly makin' me want you

Man “I wonder if you know” is exactly that feeling I was describing like, I wonder if you realize this is more than friendship? I wonder if you know that I want you. And the “you’re just so cool” isn’t as explicitly “I want to be you” but it’s also got some of that shared energy. This person is so cool that them running their hand absent-mindedly through their hair is making her feel some type of way and yet she’s not sure if the person knows that. Now why wouldn’t this extremely cool guy know that the girl he’s giving a lift to is possibly interested?

Then there’s this bit:

My hands shake

I'm not usually this way

But you pull me in and I'm a little more brave

It's the first kiss,

It's flawless,

Really something,

It's fearless.

Why does this first kiss require so much bravery? It’s not her first ever because “I’m not usually this way” implies she has been in a similar position before. And then:

And I don't know why but with you I'd dance in a storm in my best dress

Fearless

“I don’t know why” - well because you like this person! Girl, you’re into them. Oh, you’re not sure why because it’s a girl? Also lbr discussing clothes with your crush/partner is a very gay girl thing so just that addition of “my best dress” in the context of the rest of this incredibly gay song is... gay...

Oh and a bonus point:

'Cause I don't know how it gets better than this

You take my hand and drag me head first

Fearless

Making that big a deal of handholding and saying it requires bravery is, you guessed it, gay af. 

Untouchable also delivers some gems: “Untouchable like a distant diamond sky / I'm reaching out and I just can't tell you why / I'm caught up in you” - I mean this is that whole vague confused forbidden vibes I spoke about before and the “And when you're close I feel like coming undone”. For me, it’s the fact that this person’s mere presence is enough to make her undone and she’s begging for a “taste of Heaven” feels... gay...

Jump Then Fall is also pretty damn gay to me. It’s got that dangerous “this could be dangerous” thing going on (“I had time to think it all over and all I can say is come closer”) but it’s also positive and... she’s saying jump and I’ll catch you which... like I get that it could be metaphorical but generally with het couples the dude would do the catching. Like if it was just that it’d not be that gay but again, the whole thing... is...

Whoa, oh, I need you baby

Don't be afraid, please,

Jump then fall

Jump then fall into me

Baby, I'm never gonna leave you

Say that you wanna be with me too

'Cause I'mma stay through it all

So jump then fall

Jump then fall, baby,

Jump then fall into me, into me

Like why are they both so scared? Why is she convincing herself and this person? What’s the danger? Is it just meant to be a “loss of virginity” song?

Then there’s the catching bit I mentioned:

The bottom's gonna drop out from under our feet

I'll catch you, I'll catch you

When people say things that bring you to your knees

I'll catch you

Idk man. It’s gay.

By the way for two unrequited songs that fundamentally feel straight to me, look at The Other Side of the Door and You Belong With Me. I’m not saying you can’t have queer readings. But both of them have that “blame” angle to the guy’s lack of interest or inability to requite her feelings. Like she’s saying “I won’t tell you what I want or that I want you but you should figure it out ya big dummy!” which is inherently different to that “I know this is completely pointless and I’m barking up the wrong tree” energy of the other songs I mentioned. “I’m worried you’ll hurt me” songs are also different to “if you stand close to me I’ll completely fall apart but I can’t let you see” of... like... Untouchable.

Hey Stephen has the “I can't help it if you look like an angel” line but it’s generally straight for me because:

Hey, Stephen,

I could give you fifty reasons

Why I should be the one you choose.

All those other girls—

Well, they're beautiful,

But would they write a song for you?

Do you see what I mean it’s like “I know you might not want me but you should” and that’s not a sapphic vibe. Like that’s to me what makes her gay sounding songs so much gayer like they capture a very specific feeling - being confused on if you want to be her, be her friend or fuck her dumb ass.

On Speak Now Taylor adds another type of gayness into her repertoire. She does the “I’m singing about a guy but it’s all about a girl” thing in Better Than Revenge. Now I know she has been called out a lot for this and she herself has now said obvi girls don’t steal your boyfriend BUT that’s not the part I find interesting. It’s shit like: “She thinks I'm psycho 'cause I like to rhyme her name with things” - like girl, that is psycho. Being obsessed with the fact that she is wearing vintage dresses is weird. And Taylor does this in the title track with her lengthy descriptions of the bridge compared to ZERO description of the guy. Not even “looking so handsome” - like there’s nothing. But the bride is “floating down the aisle like a pageant queen”.

Idk this is only three albums and only like my favorite gay bits and I already have so many and I haven’t even gotten to Treacherous 😭 I think I should make a hashtag for this and carry on later.

The point is, for me, it’s not about her singing a back and forth with a guy and a girl. It’s capturing supremely sapphic wlw feelings that I’ve never seen a straight female songwriter or musician convey, even where I’ve loved their music and felt it strongly resonated with me for other reasons.

#sapphic themes in tay’s music #early gaylor vibes

[bma-2021]

Now, here’s the thing. Mally loved Hatter. In all forms possible, she absolutely loved him. So, him leaving for Alice already was painful, but there was another aspect on top of that which affects Mally greatly. And, altogether, means even though part of her went to the oyster world to find Hatter (but the primary reasoning was still finding the original alice), she also still kind of resents him a bit too.

Think of it this way, and tho this changes with whatever Hatter I may be writing with (her relationship w different hatters changes from unrequited romantic love but requited devoted friendship love to whatever) I do personally headcanon that she did at some point, before being taken in by Jack himself, ask Hatter to run away to the oysters world with her. Figuring Jack wouldn’t be able to chase her forever up there, and they could make a new life.

Partly, the desire is due to what happened in their previous lives, wherein Hatter and Mally broke out of Hatter’s domain where his father went mad from his experiments, and ended up blowing up the entire plant. They ran away and made a new life together (as friends) in an entirely different domain in Wonderland, until Alice’s final battle where Hatter was lost, marking Mally essentially being lost as well.

But he decided to stay. He felt like he needed to stay to help save his homeland (we already saw him say this to alice in the miniseries.) After that, he probably brought Mally to the resistance hideaway, where she very quickly saw how even the resistance was tainted. To her, Dodo and QoH arent that different. If anything, both just pawns (ironically to the same person, but she didn’t know that yet.)

I believe Dodo would likely have recognized her family resemblance, and since it would have been post finding her mother and learning she’s the rightful heir, naturally Dodo would use that to his advantage. Especially if Hatter tells him, be it under the belief he’ll help them, or otherwise. Mally wouldn’t be able to handle the stress of them, and knowing Dodo would try to force her to corroborate with his plans, her ‘screech’ would come in and she’d knock them all out. In her escape, she would ultimately take Hatter with her and go back to the Tea Shoppe, but it’d still be too late.

Hatter would likely see Dodo was out of line, but still wouldn’t realize what the price would be. Mally, being Mally, would be panic trying to explain why he shouldnt trust people just because they share an enemy, because Jack considers his mother an enemy too and he’s no better than she is.

But word would be sent to The Caterpillar, which would be sent to Jack.

And Jack would deliver an ultimatum to her, because he definitely has the power to fuck Hatter’s life over too, and Jack knew mally well enough to know her hero complex and loyalty.

Which Mally wouldn’t just take lying down. And Jack knows that. He probably went to her alone at first, because he knows shes too smart to just outright kill him. Let her knock him down, and when she went to Hatter to tell him she’s doing this for him, he could get her there where she wouldn’t put others at risk.

I see it like this; She runs off to Hatter, panickly tells him she’s so sorry for what she needs to do, and that she’s doing it for him. Pretend to use him as a hostage, and when she knocks him down to run off, she’s stopped from the back by one of Jack’s suits. Likely electrocuted, because that affects her most of all.

Hatter, being Hatter, would try to question wtf is going on, but still ultimately choose to save his own skin in the moment. Likely runs off to tell Dodo after Jack leaves, and realizes somethings up when Dodo doesn’t seem to care (not that Jack’s part of them, but I believe this is where his general ensuring he always gets a cut came from).

And Jack, being a dickbag, would make Hatter think Mally died as a wanted criminal. Testing the waters, but trying to ensure Hatter wouldn’t come looking for her, cause he’d be the best bet at the moment for shit to control mally with. March is dead at that point, so its not like he could use him.

and mallys too headstrong to do what he wants, which is why she gets locked up in the casino and stays there until Hatter and Alice are there, undergoing years of abuse, trauma, gets blinded and loses an arm in the thick of it all by the time Hatter lets her out and the Casino explodes. She never fully recovers her vision, and eventually she gets a faux arm to replace what was lost, but not until after joining the Underground and going to the oyster world.

And Hatter ends up leaving, likely partly her fault too. Cause she’d tell him she’d be okay, cause she always lies to spare others feelings. Especially his. And that he should follow his heart, partly hoping he’d stay with her. But he chose Alice.

And think about undergoing years of further abuse and trauma because you wanted to protect someone, and that person ultimately chooses someone else. On top of that, he didn’t want to leave when she wanted to go with him, but Alice lives there and he wanted to go for her. Not even the real alice, just another headstrong individual who shares her name.

so of course she holds some resentment there. She loves him to no end, but she’s also incredibly hurt because, ultimately, she wasn’t ever good enough for him. She wasn’t worth abandoning Wonderland for. But, there’s more to it than that.

He knows what Jack did. He knows what Jack did to her (to a point). But he felt like Wonderland was safe enough in his hands to leave.

And, without the right Alice to fix everything and take Jack down, Mally can’t return home. She can go anywhere in the oysters world she wants, but she can’t return to Wonderland without Jack finding her again. Jack’s found her multiple times in the oysters world, but can’t do much about it there. Even with The Underground finding a way to end Jack’s reign and give the crown to her (a crown she doesn’t even want), she’s still stuck in mental turmoil from bottling up her pain and trauma, her abandonment issues from Hatter, an extreme inferiority complex she hides with sarcasm and acting higher than she feels, and lbr, she opts to be a bitch to keep others at a distance and hide her own insecurities.

by the time she’d find Hatter again in the oyster land, she’d still love him, but on top of that love is resentment for thinking someone like Jack was safe to leave Wonderland to, and that it was perfectly fine to leave her behind because he found someone else. She doesn’t even realize it, it just comes out in emotional bursts, but ultimately she’s still in love and adores someone who hurt her and abandoned her and her home, and since he partly was her home, she doesn’t really have a home at all anymore.

#Mally. ( ALL THE LITTLE PIECES FALLING. ) #hatter n mally. ( WE RECOLLECT THE PIECES AND FROM THEM ARE BORN ANEW ) #k i'm reposting it now that im on lappy lol #w minor edits and some formatting #anyways I have a lot of feelings #and as u can tell listened to nothing but taytay

[asmolbirb]

B, O, S, T, Z? (i hope this isnt too many questions haha)

There is no such thing as too many questions when it comes to letting me gush over the fic I’ve poured my lifeblood into lol. Thank you so much for sending in an ask!

B: What was the first fandom you read fic in?  Which was the first you wrote fic for?

I don’t remember if my first fandom was Warriors or Maximum Ride, but I want to say Maximum Ride because I was really invested in Max/Fang (fuck Dylan lives yo). The first fandom I wrote for was Death Note, though I didn’t start writing fic until a year or so after I started reading fic. 

O: What are your thoughts on people writing fanfic of your fanfic?

Well, I write almost exclusively shortfic, so I don’t think there’s much opportunity for someone to write fic of my fic, tbh? That said, I think I would maybe be a little wary of another author misinterpreting my interpretations of the characters, but objectively it would be dope as hell, and I would be in awe for the next year at least. 

S: How do you feel about fan art inspired by your writing?

Getting someone to draw fanart of my fic is literally one of my biggest dreams. You have no idea how badly I want to write something so lovely or relatable or visually descriptive that someone feels the desire to turn my writing into a tangible image. Not least because it would be incredibly flattering and the highest possible honor, but also because that’s, like, the epitome of fandom to me! Interacting and creating content and sharing that content and sharing your excitement with each other!

T: Any fanfic tropes you can’t stand?

Mpreg, the “Peter Parker’s class takes a field trip to Stark Industries” trope (I have a vent post dedicated to this somewhere on my blog lmao), most cases of the “canonical female love interest gets turned into an evil bitch to make room for the m/m ship” trope. 

Z: Is there a story you’ve written that doesn’t seem to get much love?

Did you mean: “almost everything I’ve written” lol

Nah, I’m glad my newer fics get more traffic than my older ones ever did; my newer ones are loads better, and it shows me that I’m improving as a writer. 

All jokes aside, “Kimi Wasurenai” (a Free! fic centered on the theme of unrequited love) got a lot of hate because I tagged both the unrequited ship (MakoHaru) and the actual requited ship (RinHaru), and MakoHaru fans were livid that I had the gall to tag a ship that was one-sided without spoiling in the tags which ship was one-sided. God, 4 and a half years later, I’m still low-key butthurt about it lmao. 

And “the stains and things they wrote” is my least read Witcher fic, probably because a) I tagged it as gen and stubbornly refuse to tag it with the Geraskier slash tag, because there’s no romantic undertone or pre-slash in the fic, but no one ever reads gen fic lmao, and b) it’s tagged with “angst” and “ambiguous/open ending,” which is a guaranteed formula for seeing less traffic.

#about neko #iittleprince #ask #ask meme

[tieflng]

pyre ofc

i’ve already done one for the regular game so Hello, it’s Scribes Time

favorite male character: was incredibly torn on this because like…………..ha’ub exists. just a Chaotic Loyal Little Man. we Cherish An Imp. but also, who am i fooling, i am fooling no one. it’s gol golathanian. i am fooling no one. someone who Cared and wanted to do Right but ended up serving a corrupt and unjust system until it was seemingly too late and then [bird voice] REDEMPTION ARC (heavenly chorus) !! also secretly a Large Softy. also i am incredibly gay and knight/liege is so GOOD.

favorite female character: molten fucking milithe! you’ve persuaded me to love one (1) feral bog-dwelling lesbian scientist because like, milithe who is incredibly Chaotic Neutral but has a pr Problem and just seems Chaotic Evil? but who is secretly a little lonely and comes to cherish her friends? who Also cherish her even if she sounds Like That? that’s good, actually! also she has cortex in the brain that makes you sound like a mad scientist and that’s very fun

least favorite character: if i’m being honest…………underking ores. i just don’t have any Thoughts on him and also…………………he seems a little boring, and a little bit maybe like a jerk. we do eventually need to work out what we think about him though. but like. eh.

favorite ship: goliam !! goliam goliam Goliam !! the knight/liege aspects are so so [chef kiss] and the drama is so JUICY and the arc we’ve kind of worked out for them of like. mutual unrequited pining to enemies to friends to lovers is very good. but also………they grew as individuals and became better people in the downside, and in doing so they were finally able to establish a truly loving relationship. and that’s. i mean that’s true romance, you know? knight/liege is good but requited affection on an equal footing that grows out of it is best.

favorite friendship: god the. the All of them? the All Of Them? 

triesta and gol expecting to bitterly hate each other for coming from opposite sides of an imperialist war and then finding a sibling they didn’t know they had

milithe and gol revising their opinions of each other from “stupid sword-waving human” and “weirdo who pretends to have powers” and respecting their different competencies, also bonding over both having Cortext That Makes You Rude

ha’ub feeling kinship with milithe’s pursuit of the ‘unknown & unknowable’ read: milithe teaching him Science Ways and it’s the learning to be spiderman meme. they go looking for cool bugs in flagging hands while everyone else is depressed as fuck

jomuer and ores being Chaotic Fools and getting into increasingly wild scrapes, but also having each others’ backs so they always get out of them safely again, too

soliam in the early downside is on critical levels of Rat Brain (brain full of angry rats) but lu is a slow moving tree man, and talking to him puts the brakes on rat brain and forces him to slow down and verbalize and so dbt was accidentally invented

milithe and lu sclorian as Maximum Scientist Hours, ha’ub as the first person who showed soliam kindness for himself instead of for being the emperor, triesta and lu as philosophy gays asking the deep questions about life and meaning, gol and ha’ub as partners in keeping soliam’s dumb ass alive, the first triumvirate (gol/soliam/ha’ub) as just fucking fambly, ha’ub/milithe/jomuer as Downside’s Most Feral,

so th All of Them??

Scribes Is About Friendships, Baby!

favorite quote: “he said: ‘you gave your freedom, master golathanian, so that i may yet have mine.’

‘you, too, now are an exile of the downside. in all the days which i have left, i never could repay the mercy you have shown me. so, if i cannot do so in this life, then I shall do it in the next.'”

not to sound gay but those two paragraphs invented love

worst character death: i think the first time one of the scribes died (i think we said ores) would be……….incredibly sad. they Ascended/became stars after they died but while they were alive they didn’t Know that. so they’re faced with the realization that the gang has broken up for the first time, and they’re all going to get old and die, as people do, and………..gradually lose their found family, lose the tangible proof that their adventures actually happened, make the triumvirates go on without them, watch the rites and the brand new commonwealth succeed or fail on their own merits. and they missed their friend :( it was a rough time for them all

this made me so happy you have no idea moment: i really like so many of our discussed scribes/nightwings parallels, the mere Idea of scribes/nightwings parallels makes me happy. the one i’m feeling right now is that thing where bertrude always pretends to thinks hedwyn is hitting on her. but gol and milithe can you Imagine. like MA’AM you’re THREE HUNDRED and i’m GAY and also the man i love is right here and he thinks this is hilarious

saddest moment: the scribes looking down from the stars realizing that their commonwealth has been corrupted from their original dream :((((

favorite location: man i already said the isle of khaylmer, also they never went there. still tied between the ridge of gol (Bad Ass) and the summit of mount alodiel, because come on, listen to this part of the greater titans chapter of the book of rites:

“finally, the Eight of us, we climbed atop the brow of old sung-gries. we merged our strength, and struck the mortal blow, such that the archbeast shattered finally to pieces!”

incredibly anime and i fucking Love it. where’s my eight scribes animated series PLEASE they are literally shounen protagonists !!

#pyre #this got SO LONG but it's because i LOVE SCRIBES #tumblr user jodaaariel / tumblr user tieflng solidarity handshake ....

[redxblueihateloveyou]

Ok so I've been stalking your blog for the past couple of hrs after seeing your TadaAi posts (I'm drowning in the period drama that is this ship) and I find you ship Tododeku and rinharu (god i can't stand bakudeku and makoharu) and seems like we share a lot of our views on fandom and ships probably because we're older (I'm 22). Followed and looking forward to your input in the future!

Also you might've given me the motivation to finish watching Free! XD

Hehe yay, please, we need more ppl in our “house of oldies”, make yourself at home lol. And we share a lot of ships?! Even better <3

I knooow, I can’t believe we’ve got a gay “master who fell in love with his servant” ship in the anime, just what I needed for my idiotic collection lmao

But also these two have too much going on between them, so much wasted potential in my opinion, it’d be so interesting to explore (but sadly no xD), they were still the only interesting thing for me lolz. I love complicated morons, who became the victims of a huge unrequited requited love misunderstanding, bc they’re insecure morons lmao and they just have 2 of my fav ships vibes, so it’s probably mostly this haha. 

Oh, I’m inputting *wink wink*, can’t wait to finish the vid, I’m having too much fun with it. I’ve just literally spent several minutes trying to get whether I’ve put Tadashi’s sexy mole in the right distance from his eye in the “him moaning on the table” manip lolz. What can I say... I picked the best hobby, with all the support I’m getting with my vids, I’m living a dream xD

You know, I think I’ve said it before, but when it comes to bakudeku, I at least understand what ppl hope to see there and why, but like.. it’s just not happenning. Also imagining Bakugou lovingly hugging Midoriya is just so OOC I start laughing all the time. And whatever ppl say, in any ship whether they’re enemies or rivals or anything, if you can’t imagine them being tender with each other, smth is not right in my opinion. Also once again, who needs idiotic bleating Midoriya, idk. I’m just tired of the endless “die, deku/out of my way” yelling, I like watching Bakugou going to parties and amusement parks and doing silly stuff, too. Like I’ve said before, pride won’t ever let him change the way he behaves with Midoriya, even when they’re doing “great”. If he was the one, it wouldn’t have mattered, no matter how tough you are, and it wouldn’t take that long. I also don’t think they’re that kind of relationship, like they move each other for sure, sometimes, yeah (not always in a good way tho), but be together in a relationships? Can’t imagine that. Like not all rivals have the rivals to lovers dynamic, no matter what ppl say. But I get the shipping, bc 1stly these two are playing too huge of a role in each other’s lives, 2ndly Midoriya is obsessed with him and Bakugou obsessed with him too (just in a bad way lmao) and 3rd ppl want that “enemies to lovers” dynamic, since many love it (me included, when it done right and progresses right), so they’re trying to write that “to lovers” bridge, that just doesn’t fit here in my opinion, simply bc Bakugou won’t be soft with Midoriya, like ever in a way, you’d want, and I don’t think it’s possible for them to go there.

Tododeku on the other hand, 1stly they also play too huge of a role in each other’s lives, 2ndly Midoriya is obsessed with him too and Todoroki is lovingly obsessed with him in return, 3rdly they are also rivals to lovers, and I have no problem imagining the second part, it won’t be OOC, 4thly Midoriya when he’s with Todoroki is my fav Midoriya, he’s happy, he is cocooned and he’s badass af (and like when he told Endeavor to fuck off or yelled at Todoroki “the fuck are u doing?” xD are still the best), 5thly Midoriya forgets about Bakugou, when he’s with Todoroki a lot and it’s just funny to me, 6thly they healed each other so nicely, I can’t not be into that, 7thly when they’re together I have like 0 worries, idk I’m like “he will catch him” anyways haha, Bakudeku just don’t give me this vibe. It’s like yeah, they won’t let each other die, but it’s always this chaos of “out of my way”, “I don’t want your help” and “let me punch you before I punch the villain” that I’m just “oh for god’s sake, pls bring in Kirishima and Todoroki so we could just go home, it could’ve been solved in 2 minutes” lmao. Etc, etc.

Tododeku just have too many winning points over bakudeku for me, same with kiribaku over bakudeku, even tho I 100% get bakudeku as a ship ofc. Also idk whether things would be different if Todoroki wouldn’t exist in the equation, but the moment I saw that s2 scene where Bakugou started yelling and Todoroki just ignored him and was like “was Midoriya always this good?”, there was no going back to me XD. Like they both obviously see that Midoriya is wonderful, but only one reacted to that in a way that I wanted. And I’m a sucker for the ships who don’t give a fuck and like “yeah, I find him amazing and everyone should know that”. Todoroki is also one of those guys, who if you give them the much needed love, they’ll return it tenfold with a forever devotion. And all of my fav ships are like that: Yullen, Rinharu, Mikayuu, Wangxian, Akakuro, etc. They’re like “well, I ain’t an idiot to let someone this precious go”, you know lol

On the other hand, when it comes to Kirishima, Bakugou can do all kind of ridiculous thing I wouldn’t imagine he would do to keep him or make him happy, you know. Kirishima is also the only one, who can put his arm around Bakugou without it being cut off, so I don’t make the rules here lol.

So it’s not like I can’t stand bakudeku, more of like can’t imagine this work, to me it’s easier to imagine todobaku in a relationships, but not bakudeku lolz.

But when it comes to makoharu, I just have a huge problem with it and I will never get it. Bc they don’t bring anything good in each other like AT ALL, I don’t even understand what kind of relationships this is from their shipper point of view; they give each other nothing, and one of them is totally in love with someone else and wants a future with him. And that someone also head over heals with him and also wants a future with him. And I hate how 99,9 % of mh fans don’t give a fuck about Haru or Rin whatsoever and just ignore their character’s everything. Bc Makoto. I’m also like if you love him so much, the fuck would you want him to be with Haru anyways, dude doesn’t reciprocate, like at all. I’m at confusion, like name good points of this ship and what good can they do for each other characteristically. There is none, it’s like a damn swamp. Like usually I can give my notp some points, but this is like... they’re both no good for each other... like... why would anyone even want this idk. Don’t tell me “for the childhood friends” one-sided dynamic, like why won’t you also ship Shion with Safu then, like even he seemed more invested in that, than Haru in makoharu lol.

Even if you think of them from the point of view of “the two who are always walking together” ships, that are everywhere nowdays (even tho since Haru moved to Tokyo, he was always with Asahi instead), but even if... those kind of ships are usually at least make each happy and are enough for each other. Haru on the other hand, when he doesn’t have Rin, he is walking with Makoto like a ghost, not even caring if he’s talking next to him AND he’s getting ennoyed by him. Like explain, how someone’s shipping them romantically. It’s been showed like 20 times, that with Rin, but without Makoto, he can be perfectly happy, without Rin tho, he never is.

Also someone explain, what exactly is the point of splitting up two characters, who are happy together, make each other the best versions of themselves and want to be together whole-heartedly? Like I know many start shipping smth, bc the relationships are better in the other pairing, for example, but this is like... definitely not the case here. Like what exactly is missing in rinharu, that makoharu has? Lack of progression and mutual inspiration?

So yes, if you’re into rinharu, totally finish Free! They’re like doing sooo incredible and holy shit they’re inspiring, I mean, look, they’re now the tokyo olympics ambassadors, like how many of yall gay ships reached that? you can’t miss out on them, and also they’re so hilariously romantic, they literally made a wish to swim with each other since they were 13 and did everything to get each other there, I’m.. you’re lying, if you didn’t cry watching them as chibies making wishes on a star and watching them now. One of the most wonderful development in my opinion. Like who would’ve thought back in s1, that we’ll get Haru yelling on top of Rin about how he made him want a future with him, def not me lmao and now all the olympics boyfriends fanfiction are true, I mean, idk what to say anymore. I miss them so much, I can’t wait for the movie :D

#answered #maxeve #anime

[sparxwrites]

An old fandom friend @stardustandseas asked for some Caleb whump recs, so here!! Have forty eight of my personal favourites (alongside some quality angst-fic because that’s in the general spirit of whump, too). Feel free to reblog this post and add your own faves / plug your own writing! And I’m sure more excellent hurt!Caleb and sad!Caleb will be written in the future, so I may reblog this and add to it at some point.

If one of your fics is listed here and you’d like your tumblr url added to the credits, drop me a message and I’ll try to do so.

(Please check the tags/warnings on the fic itself. I’ve tried to tag for spoilers as best I can - I’m counting spoilers as Caleb backstory stuff and recent [as of August 2018] campaign developments. I’ve not tagged triggers on these, but several involve graphic descriptions of violence, sexual assault, and other similar upsetting things – such is the nature of whump.)

-

“Betrothed” by MeBeShe (@matt-the-blind-cinnamon-roll) [Caleb/Molly; 70k WIP]

After nearly a decade of war, Archmage Caleb Widogast has brokered a peace with the Xhorasian empire. It comes at the cost of his hand in marriage. They send the Nonagon, leader of their bloodhunters, to marry him. He wasn't expecting a beautiful tiefling. He wasn't expecting Mollymauk Tealeaf.

[A truly delicious mix of slow-burn relationship, sexual tension and pining, and ongoing physical health issues and angst on Caleb’s side. It’s both soothing and emotionally satisfying, it’s currently my “save to read before going to bed” fic, and I love it so much.]

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“the mist upon the hill” by BucketofWater (@ereborslionheart) [Caleb/Molly; 80k WIP]

Caleb is a mottled canvas of thin, white lacerations so many that Nott can hardly begin to count them all, she wouldn’t even know where to begin.

Or, the soulmate au where some soulmates share injuries and Caleb is very tired and very sore.

[My other current “save to read before going to bed” fic. It’s got everything – slow-burn, soulmates, angst, Caleb trying to hide his injuries, miscommunication… I also adore this one and honestly, the whump is just so satisfying.]

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“Traveling Hearts” by CatKing_Catkin (@pangurbanthewhite) [Caleb/Molly; maybe spoilers?; 117k

A figure from Lucien's past shows up to collect on an old arrangement. When Molly doesn't want to talk business, the stranger takes him and the Mighty Nein for himself instead.

Caleb is only just able to get Jester to safety in time. But when the rest of his friends fall victim to their captor's vampiric thrall, that leaves him trapped and alone against the twisted attentions and easy cruelty of a wizard more powerful than he's ever dreamed of being.

Jester struggles to understand her enemies and make a plan of attack. Her friends are counting on her to save them, even if some of them don't know it anymore, and so she is determined to be the light in the darkness for them and all the people of Tanner's Crossing.

With a little bit of magic and a little bit of research and a whole lot of determination as they fight their own battles, Caleb and Jester might just save their friends before they lose themselves in the bargain.

[I’m… genuinely unsure if anything I could say about this fic would do it justice. Please, please read it if you haven’t already, because I adore everything about it and it’s delightful and stressful and upsetting and plotty and incredibly whumpy aahhh. I’d probably put it in the top ten fics I’ve ever read, which is high praise indeed.]

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“The Trauma Cafe” by MeBeShe (@matt-the-blind-cinnamon-roll) [Caleb/Molly; major spoilers; 114k WIP]

There's a cafe that specializes in rehabilitating people with trauma. That cafe was home to Mollymauk Tealeaf. Now it's home to cult survivor Caleb Widogast.

[Another of the big campaign two fics that I suspect is something of a fandom classic by now. It’s less whump and more angst, past whump, and recovery, but I do suspect there might be some whump in the next few chapters. We’ll see. You absolutely have to read it, though, as with the above three.]

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“The Mighty Fieber” by hufflepirate (@hufflepirate) [Gen; (major?) spoilers; 13k]

When Caleb gets very sick, the rest of the Nein take care of him. The fever draws some of Caleb's issues to the front, but if Beau can figure out how to use punching for medicinal purposes, she can figure out how to talk about feelings. Maybe. Caleb isn't used to being cared about, but sometimes if it's masked enough, he can navigate it anyway.

[Hey you know how good the “comes down with a fever and people don’t notice at first, and then they do and are really scared by how ill the person is” trope is? This fic is basically Entirely That.]

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“starwalker” by ashinan (@ashinan) [Gen; 8k]

Those whose souls are claimed by the Fey are to be feared. Briderall learns this lesson the night Caleb is taken.

[There’s only a little whump in this, but it’s high quality whump, and the rest of the fic is so fucking good honestly. I adore terrifying unknowable eldritch creatures that dote on humans so...]

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“Oversharing” by Verity_Kindle [Caleb/Fjord; 7k]

When a spell goes wrong, the group tries to deal with the fallout. Fjord’s biggest concern is for Caleb’s well-being, while Caleb’s is...complicated.

Otherwise titled, Why Magic and Secrets Don’t Mix: The Autobiography of Caleb Widogast.

[Old and now jossed, but I still love it - accidental / uncontrollable telepathy is such a good fic conceit, and this one has it in spades. Somewhat au since this was written with the first few eps of the new campaign, iirc, but I adore it nonetheless.]

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“More Than This” by CatKing_Catkin (@pangurbanthewhite) [Gen; spoilers; 22k]

The Empire got a lot more unfriendly towards “unauthorized” mages, after the attack. Molly hadn’t even been aware that “unauthorized” mages were a thing beforehand, but suddenly they were. That was just the way things worked in the Empire, now more than ever, and it was one more thing The Mighty Nein had to roll with.

(Or, post Episode 12, the Mighty Nein get in trouble with the law by virtue of being a group containing a goblin, two tieflings, and a couple of mages. Caleb pulls off some heroics to let them get away, and by the time they find him again he's been hit with the Feeblemind spell as punishment. Rather fumbling attempts at coping ensue while the rest of the group tries to fix things.)

[I honestly can’t remember a Huge amount about this, but I remember it being angsty and kind and gentle, and I remember loving it. It’s also written by CatKing, and I love All their stuff, so that’s a point in its favour. Plus, feeblemind has such good angst and h/c potential tbh.]

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“This is Not an Asphyxiation Kink” by Catzgirl (@fenesvir) [Caleb/Fjord; 3.5k]

Caleb is hiding some secrets from the gang, and they come back to haunt him at the very worst of times. Fjord is there to catch him.

[Hey remember when we were all convinced that Caleb had been waterboarded / drowned at some point, and was terrified of water? That was a good time tbh.]

and, from the same series, “The Leaving of Caleb Widogast” [Caleb/Fjord; 31k]

When there's no way out, Caleb makes his own.

[This is… honestly, very fucking good, and gripped me the whole way through. A beautiful mix of Caleb’s PoV and the panic of the others trying to find him, engaging all the way through to the climax.]

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“the sea, take us back” by vannral (@vannral) [Caleb/Fjord; 9k]

The sea says: You are not welcome here. This place is not for you.

Caleb Widogast fights with everything he has to get back what was once ripped from him.

[A fun twist on the “Caleb is a werewolf” theory that everyone had at one point. Or, well. Not so fun for Caleb, but fun for the whump fans. Very intense and dramatic, very satisfying ending.]

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“confession / absolution” by duckbunny (@duckbunny) [Caleb/Molly; spoilers; 8k]

Molly risks a glance over his shoulder – Caleb is a private kind of man, he won’t want to be stared at – and sees eyes so wide that Molly might have been ten foot of venom and claws. “No,” he says, slowly, “I don’t think you want to be alone. What’s up?"

[More emotional h/c and angst than whump, technically, but a favourite so I’m including it anyways. Also has some really nice smut as an added bonus, which is always fun.]

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“[untitled]” by words-writ-in-starlight (@words-writ-in-starlight) [Caleb/Molly; 3k]

viciousmaukeries asked: Molly/Caleb, both of them injured, waking up beside each other. hell, maybe there's even a cave-in somewhere in there?

[Both Caleb and Molly whump, my favourite combination!]

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“Suggestion” by pok3d3x (@tamiyos-pokedex) [Gen; maybe spoilers?; 6k]

In a world where mind altering magic is cheap, it's unwise to drink alone. The Mighty Nein step in to protect Caleb a little late.

[Caleb gets magic-roofied, and the team closes ranks to protect him and deal with the emotional fallout. Very intense and at times upsetting, but a delightful, emotional read.]

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“Everything’s Coming Up Flowers” by thismagichour (@calebwidogasts) [Caleb/Fjord; 5k]

The Hanahaki Disease is an illness born from unrequited love, where the victim coughs up flower petals until the love is requited, or death.

Caleb loves Fjord, to the point that it's literally killing him.

[I’m always a slut for the Hanahaki disease trope, which is a cross between soulmates and whump in the best way. Also, this list is uhh… super Widomauk-heavy, so it’s nice to have a wee bit of variation.]

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“till the last flower” by vannral (@vannral) [Caleb/Fjord; 8k]

The Hanahaki Disease is an illness born from one-sided love, where the patient coughs up flower petals. The infection can be removed through surgery, but the feelings disappear along with the petals.

Caleb Widogast is heartbroken and very tired.

[Hey look, I did say I’m a slut for this trope…]

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“swallow up the flame like me” by words-writ-in-starlight (@words-writ-in-starlight) [Gen; major spoilers; 8k]

It has been nine days since Fjord, Jester, and Yasha disappeared in silence and left nothing behind them but blood and scuffed grass. When the rest of the Mighty Nein manages to capture someone who might have information, Caleb decides it's time to take things into his own hands and convinces Beau to let him.

[Not… technically whump but it’s such a nice, angsty, awful emotional portrait that I can’t help but include it…]

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“a country far away as health” by LoosePilgrim [Gen; major spoilers; 2.6k]

In the fall of a certain year, in the north of a certain kingdom, a man took a body to a box and laid the body inside. He walked away from the body, and the body stayed there for many years.

When the body had been a boy (a man; a boy) it had had a good memory.

The body in the box had a good memory too. Here is what the body remembers:

[Kinda experimental and very weird - ymmv on whether it counts as whump, technically speaking - but, as with all the other kid-of-whump things on here, I love it, so. It’s staying.]

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“be gone” by mnemememory [Gen; maybe spoilers?; 3k]

Beau has had this conversation before, in a different place, with a different man.

(or; beau walks out of a cupboard, and can't seem to find her way back)

[I’m… legit unsure if this should be on here, but it’s gorgeously written, and grindingly dark and unhappy, so I think it’s earned its place.]

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“Disguise Self” by Agrotera (@agrotera-ilisos) [Caleb/Molly; maybe spoilers?; 10k]

“Even huddled beneath a cold, driving rain, Zadash was a brilliant city. It wasn’t substantially larger than the other cities Molly had visited when he was with the circus, nor was it especially more beautiful. The people certainly weren’t kinder. It stank of mud and horse dung, and the rain only helped to make the smell all the more oppressive. But there were little carts that lined the main avenues, and the proprietors of those little carts would sell you a bladder of still-hot mulled wine and an armful of cardamom and pistachio pastries for two silver coins and a smile.

All things considered—the gnolls, the fool bandits, the gods-be-twice-fucked weather—Molly couldn’t complain.”

It's their first night in Zadash, and Molly needs to get away. Caleb, unsure of Molly's motives, follows him.

[Less whump and more a character portrait with hints of past whump and trauma, with a copious helping of smut, but I love it, it’s on here, deal with it etc. etc. Honestly, I spent the whole time reading this sighing dreamily with delight at the perfect mix of sexy and Concerning, so like. You know it’s gotta be good.]

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“A puzzled love of the light” by ottertrashpalace [Caleb/Molly; spoilers; 16k WIP]

Molly, possibly the most flamboyant queer individual ever to exist, wound up saving the life of a homophobic Christian picketer. It's not the weirdest thing that's ever happened to him, but suffice to say that it has long-ranging consequences he did not expect.

[Ymmv on the fic’s conceit (I personally enjoy it tbh), but it’s an enjoyable read with plenty of angst and emotional catharsis, and hints of more to come later...]

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“a lighter in his pocket / a matchbook in his socks” by ScreechTheMighty  (@screechthemighty) [Gen; major spoilers; 11k]

‘and a block full of charred skeletons / closeted, begging to get out’

The ghosts of your past catch up to you eventually. Sometimes, they bring more than just the memories with them.

[Again, unsure if this… technically counts as whump, but there’s enough miserable, stressed, panicking Caleb that I’m going to count it, honestly.]

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“the echo valley” by vandenburg (@momlymauk) [Caleb/Molly; spoilers; 5k]

Sick from the incessant raining on their way to Shady Creek Run after a job well-done in the Labenda Swamp, Caleb receives some comfort – from Kiri.

[Sickfic!! Sickfic!! Sickfic!!! Also, Kiri being adorable, as an added bonus.]

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“Snow Rise” by AiraKay [Gen; 1k]

Injured and alone, Caleb Widogast takes a moment to contemplate the falling snow and his place in the world.

[Somewhere between character study and whump, but very lovely.]

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“Check the Cards” by Catzgirl (@fenesvir) [Caleb/Molly; 3k]

Molly ignores his foresight and everyone suffers for it.

[More from Molly’s PoV as Caleb gets injured, but it’s still a nice fic - very well-written and I love the way the author weaves Molly’s tarot cards into the narrative.]

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“sunset” by aviators (@farfel) [Caleb/Molly; 3.5k]

Caleb brings a trembling hand up, cupping Molly’s cheek and pressing his thumb to his lips, wetting them with his own blood. “Hush, Mollymauk.”

“No. No,” Molly gasps out, hand meeting Caleb’s and grasping around it until both their knuckles turn white. “You’ve never known me to stop speaking my mind when I’m set on it. I’m not about to stop now, even for you.”

[Dreamy sighs about this fic tbh. Lovely Caleb whump, lovely Molly angst, long and difficult recovery, character introspection… hhh.]

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“Scorched Bonds” by Akiko_Natsuko [Caleb/Molly; maybe spoilers?; 8k WIP]

“No!” It comes out as a strangled shout, his chest heaving and breaths coming in frantic pants. Too close, he had come so close to surrendering to the charm and if he had…the flames are roaring in his chest now, reminding him of what he can do, what those whispered words could have made him do.'

When a fight goes wrong and magic ensnares the rest of the Nein, Caleb is left alone, facing his friends… his family… and he's forced to make a choice.

[A lovely mix of whump and angst, with the “having to fight your friends” trope, and some aftercare as an added bonus.]

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“Little Monster” by Lesetoilesfous (@lesetoilesfous) [Gen; 21k]

Nott hasn't been in prison for very long when she gets a cellmate, a human called Caleb.

This story follows the development of an unlikely friendship, and the way it saves two people who'd long since decided to give up on the world.

Or: prison is not the first place Nott imagined she'd find a family, but she isn't complaining.

[A Nott and Caleb meeting fic, with assorted whump and angst and getting out of prison shenanigans. Good, clean straight-up torture for both of them tbh.]

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“My Friend Filthy” by 99BottlesOfBeerOnTheWall [Gen; maybe spoilers?; 21k]

Nott is a goblin with no friends, and nowhere to go. Caleb is a human with no family, and no hope left. They don’t expect each other, but Caleb is empty, and Nott needs something to care for. So they work with the broken pieces.

Together is better.

[Another, slightly longer variation on the above theme - I just love All the ‘Caleb’s in jail and miserable and barely a human’ fics. This one plays especially hard on the ‘barely a human’ bit, which is delightful.]

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“twisting the kaleidoscope behind both my eyes” by confines  (@wholeneinyards) [Gen; maybe mild spoilers?; 5k]

Nott and Caleb meet in jail. They escape together and then they survive together.

[A nice whumpy, angsty backstory elaboration piece.]

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“The Courage and The Fall” by mollymauks [Caleb/Molly; 4k]

Prompt: “Shivering long after everyone else has stopped.” After ending up fighting a battle submerged in a frozen lake, the Mighty Nein strip off in their camp to dry out and warm up. All but one. Content warning: this fic deals quite a lot with scars, if that’s not your cup of tea, maybe avoid.

Teaser: “I’m going to stop you freezing to death, you idiot,” he said simply, hand still extended. Caleb still didn’t move. “Trust me,” Molly murmured, his words only for the darkness and the wizard staring up at him, the firelight glinting on his pale eyes making them look strangely opaque and ghostly. “I should think I’d proved myself quite adept at keeping you alive after all this time.”

Caleb stared at him for another long, thundering heartbeat, then he let a soft laugh huff past his lips. He reached up and grabbed Molly’s forearm, letting him pull him to his feet.

[What kind of whump rec list would this be if I didn’t have a “cuddling for warmth” fic on here…? A terrible one, that’s what.]

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“Süss” by drekkeri (@tragedyboycentral) [Caleb/Molly; 3k]

Caleb was pretty sure he was dead. It was the only logical explanation.

He was drenched in sweat, trembling, and the mere act of thinking for more than two seconds took more effort than he could manage. As he tried to get out of bed he grabbed onto the wall, holding his head as he saw spots of back.

Yeah, he was definitely dead.

[A lovely fic involving diabetic!Caleb’s blood sugar dropping too low and his friends having to work out what’s wrong and help him. Whumpy, plenty of the ‘panicked confused friends’ trope, and with a happy, fluffy ending.]

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“A Lovely Man” by Justanotherfangirl [Caleb/Molly; 1.5k]

Caleb gets injured, and Molly can’t keep his feelings for him a secret any longer.

[Whump, love confessions, bleeding out…? What more could you want from a fic.]

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“Me for You” by MeBeShe (@matt-the-blind-cinnamon-roll) [Caleb/Molly; 5k]

Caleb gets badly wounded when a mission goes awry. Molly uses his Bloodhunter powers to heal him, despite Caleb's protesting.

[Another excellent whumpy character study thing, short and sweet but delightful, fluffy schmoop for an ending.]

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“Another Part of Surviving” by notsoappropro [Caleb/various; 1.5k]

He doesn’t anticipate it, the first time. He’s head to toe in filth, having slept under trees and in city alleyways for an uncountable number of days on Nott and his neverending escape. The grime under Caleb's fingernails is aggressively visible in a clean store he clearly cannot afford to be in as he counts his silver. He only has four, it’s all they have between the two of them, and it’s many coins short for the medicine they need.

[A kinkmeme fill technically, but angsty enough to be included here, just about. A series of vignettes on the times Caleb is forced to prostitute himself.]

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“Hot and Cold” by Emberforge [Gen; 3k]

It was all going well, until it wasn't.

[Caleb gets poisoned, and the team deal with it; mild whump, plenty of aftercare and worrying. Short and sweet.]

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“What Friends Are For” by Justanotherfangirl [Gen; maybe spoilers?; 8k]

It’s been a long time since Caleb had any friends, since he had deserved to have any friends. But with the Mighty Nein, he found himself caring almost in spite of himself. And the Mighty Nein might just care about him too.

[A lovely collection of drabbles exploring Caleb’s relationship with the other members of the Nein, through the medium of whump and comfort/care.]

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“Here with You” by Akiko_Natsuko [Caleb/Molly; 1.7k]

It was a terrible plan from the start, but it was the only one they had. Fortunately Molly and Caleb were together, and that might just be enough in the face of a situation that brings the past pressing in on them.

[Less physical whump and more delicious descriptions of panic and misery, which imho count as whump / give me the same whump feels as physical whump does. Also, Caleb locked in a cell!]

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“Dominate Person is Never Really A Good Time” by sterphfy [Gen; 4.5k]

The title kind of sums it up. Some angst, some implied Molly/Caleb, but painfully little physical contact. probably done, but may write a companion later.

[More fun with mind control and hurting friends! I’m predictable in the tropes I like.]

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“bruises and comfort” by vannral (@vannral) [Caleb/Fjord; 643]

After a random battle, Caleb's less than fine and Fjord's there, helping.

[Pretty much exactly what it says on the tin - Caleb’s hurt, Fjord looks after him and comfort him. Short, satisfying, sweet.]

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“Hidden and New” by Avorna [Caleb/Nott; 3k]

Fighting a horde illithid is well above their job description.

In the midst of battle, Caleb is caught by a desperate illithid and it decides to play with his more well kept memories.

[On here primarily for the first half, where Caleb nearly gets his brain eaten, and gets thoughts and memories he wants to keep secret broadcast to the MN - which is always a good time.]

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“Storm After the Calm” by UzbekistanRules [Gen; major spoilers; 1.5k]

Caleb deserves nothing. Or... so he thinks.

[More self-loathing and emotional h/c than whump, but some nice mentions of past whump and tbh panic attacks probably count as whump? The aftercare in this is also very lovely.]

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“What Was, What Is” by lostsometime [Gen; mild spoilers; 1k]

Caleb would have been able to stop himself from causing collateral damage with his spells, once. He can't now.

[Again, more angst than whump; again, I like it enough to include it here, and also panic attacks / dissociation totally do count as whump in some circumstances tbh.]

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“Fever Dream” by Chaya (@fieldbears) [Gen; major spoilers; 245]

Someone asked for either Caleb or Molly to be delirious with fever. This is probably the least creatively titled thing I have put up in a while, but at least there's plenty of angst?

[Honourable mention, as it’s a very short little drabble - but what there is of it is delicious, so I couldn’t leave it off.]

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“Feeblemind” by Chaya (@fieldbears) [Caleb/Molly; spoilers; 13k WIP]

There are some ugly spells out there. Sometimes you just have to do your best to get through it.

[Fun times with the feeblemind spell, and then the emotional fallout from that for the whole group. Bonus Molly angst too, which is always nice! May or may not have been abandoned, but what’s there is somewhat complete in and of itself, so...]

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“Under His Gaze” by EllenofX [Gen; maybe spoilers?; 4k WIP]

Caleb is a smart man. It is a fact that he is more cautious of now, with how far astray it once led him, but one that is undeniable. So, when a stranger wakes them in the dead of night, it does not take him long to figure out that he and his companions are being toyed with. That they have been toyed with for quite a while, now.

[Another ‘is it abandoned?’ fic - essentially a variation on the theme of ‘Travelling Hearts’ recced above. First chapter seems pretty whumpy though, so fingers crossed it continues!]

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“Our Early Days Are Always With Us” by sandssavvy (@sandssavvy) [Gen; major spoilers; 8k WIP]

Sometimes the past won't let you rest.

After a run in with Trent, Caleb isn't sure he will ever find rest again.

[Again, unsure if this has been abandoned?? It’s not terribly whumpy as-is, mostly angst, but if it’s not on permanent hiatus then it should get whumpy…]

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Lastly (and shamelessly), I’m gonna plug my own writing here. The only whumpy fic I’ve written for Caleb is “lesser of two evils” [Gen; 2.4k]:

Caleb’s running a fever by the time the rest of the Mighty Nein find him.

He was expecting that much – he’s done this before, after all, knows that it’s a bad idea and will not go well in the long run. However, bleeding out in the middle of a forest is also not a good idea, and will also not go well in the long run. The difference is that bleeding out in the middle of a forest will go exceptionally poorly in the short run, so it’s a lesser-of-two evils sort of thing. He’s well-versed in Faustian bargains, made both unwittingly and otherwise. It’s fine.

(In which Caleb gets separated from the rest of the group, and then injured, and then some rather ill-advised DIY field medicine involving fire. The rest of the Mighty Nein are left to pick up the pieces when they find him.)

However, I’ve got other whumpy tidbits and headcanons under my general #critrole 2.0 tag (though my blog / that tag frequently contain nsfw or triggering material, as a heads-up).

#critfic #caleb widogast #whump #stardustandseas #critrole 2.0 #fic rec #this is legit 48 fics i'm not kidding #it's taken me the majority of friday sat in a coffee shop and my sunday evening to do lmfao #donation of time to the Glorious Cause of caleb being hurt and / or miserable #(tho tbh canon blesses us with plenty of that already like. the boy's a projectile weapon magnet)