#skipping around singing giant woman

[sleepynegress]

Like I said zawe is lucky and Tom hiddleston is the best and hes sexy you need glasses

Ahhh them. I'm gonna answer this nicely in hopes of maybe helping with growth? Love isn't "luck". What is initially physically attractive to many? Is often determined by what society tells you is.

I've been fortunate enough to have lived long enough to see "beauty standards" change. I remember when people didn't want BBLs or curves. I've seen the cute TikToks where moms would show their teen daughters the "hot guys" from back in the day and the girls would just go "Eww!". Figuring out what you really want, or don't, often comes with experience; the variety of people you get to be around and care for in life, and how open you are. Often "pretty" people become ugly through their actions, vice versa, and everything in between...

It's a whole package thing. In my deep MCU days, Tom didn't cross my radar because he came off as feeding on the attention and fame. I mean he was cute back then but in a twinky way, IMO. Boyishness makes me want to mother you, not think you're hot. But for the younguns I get it. The housewives? My lip is curling up and I'm side-eyeing a bit... at least for back then. Plus his fandom came off like too many I've encountered that treat white men and their characters like they are infallible, but need protecting somehow?.... Again it added to that little boy sense of him. Since then, (in my parasocial speculations), he's acquired some wrinkles and wisdom and learned that what he thought he had in all that Hollywood attention, wasn't "real" and now he actually does seem attractive because he's a grown man, now. Now, it's if Gene WIlder and Lee Pace could have a middle-aged baby, it would be Tom. All those things that drew such a following back then came off as performative and people-pleasing to me. The lack of boundaries, the talking over people, and going on and on... My grandma would have said he was smelling his upper lip. He was academically intelligent but often came off as socially naive, IMO, and I think most could infer the most naive stumbles he made in that era...*ahem* Zawe was one of many Black women from before I knew of Tom who I rooted for in the industry. ... Many of whom, you don't see much anymore, sadly. But the difference in their journey IMO & her accomplishments w/o the money, gender, and racial privileges her partner has, says a lot about the kind of character Zawe possesses. Again, parasocial! ... but I see a man who encountered a grown woman not enamored by or deeply entangled in the industry but had carved out her own path despite lacking all those things the industry demands you have to have, to succeed. A smart person would be impressed by that and her authentic kindness, sense of humor, intelligence, and joy in what she does...on top of being what he likes physically (we not gonna act like that man does not always ping or have the best onset chemistry when a leggy woman is around).

He's a leg-locked king (apologies or you're welcome for the imagery). He seems to be a gentleman and Zawe is not one of his little fangirls. They come across as equally enamored, and grown, and I would like to think they have a healthy loving partnership. Which makes them both extremely lucky.

#tom was steven universe as a child #skipping around singing giant woman #and then he got one as an adult #tom and zawe #meta #ask #I turned it wholesome and educational I hope #but seriously leave zawe alone #tom hiddleston #zawe ashton #also that man can only dance well to the white gaze #he dances like a typical white guy #...he can work his hips tho

[strayfoxxchan]

Girl's Best Friend

Pairing: Non-Idol!Seungmin x f!Reader

Genre: Fluff

Content Warning: None that I can think of… pulled heartstrings?

Word Count: 1k

Prompt: You came here to adopt a dog and got a boyfriend instead!

Tag List: Message me to be added!

MASTERLIST

A sigh leaves your lips. “It’s time.”

Being an adult could be lonely. You have contemplated adopting a furry companion for months, but as you sit on the couch with a drama, crying in the dark, you decide it is time. So you pick up the stuffed dog you’d been squeezing for emotional support to look into its shiny plastic eyes.

“You’ll have a new friend tomorrow, don’t worry, buddy.”

In the morning, you scroll through your phone, browsing a list of shelters in the area. Most of them have pages full of animals available to be adopted. You catch sight of a few animals and set your eyes on a shelter nearby. 

As you drive to the shelter, listening to music way too loudly, you wonder if you’re making the right choice. You aren’t home during the day sometimes as your job is still working hybrid, and you wonder if it’s okay to leave a dog alone for extended periods, but you decide this is best for you and your mental health. 

The facade of the shelter is little more than a giant concrete building, painted in shades of blue and white, with silhouettes of little animals running across the edges of the walls. The walls are lined with vines and greenery, making it seem inviting. Walking into the building is more of the same. At the front desk, a kind woman greets you. 

“Hello! What are you looking for today?”

“Oh,” you say, “just thinking of adopting a dog. Where can I find them?” 

The woman points behind her to a big glass door. “The kennels are out the door in the courtyard. Feel free to flag down anyone in a blue apron if you see a pup you like!” She smiles warmly at you.

“Thanks!” You can feel the excitement growing as you try not to skip to the door.

The courtyard is big and green, trees scattered about randomly. There are kennels lining the edges of the yard, big open kennels that allow the dogs some room to move around. Men, women, and children walk about from kennel to kennel, patting dogs on their noses and talking in baby voices to them. 

The only problem with going to an animal shelter is that you can’t rescue them all. The puppy dog eyes and happy pants, the tail wags, and the tippy tapping of toes fill you both with elation and grief. There was no way you could fit 40 dogs into your one-bedroom apartment, but that doesn’t stop you from considering it. 

Before you know it, you’ve found yourself plopped down in front of a kennel, beginning an interview with a particularly cute mutt, a mix of something that’s given him floppy ears and a mottled coat of brown and white. He almost looks like a golden retriever but splotchy. 

“So, what makes you think you’ll be a good companion?” The dog stares at you blankly, panting away and wagging his tail a million miles a minute.

“I’m very warm, and I’m the best cuddler.” A voice comes from behind you, and you stifle a giggle, choosing not to turn around and continue the very important interview.

“What can you offer that another dog can’t?” You stare at the dog expectantly as he considers his answer.

“I’ll give you morning kisses and sing when I’m hungry.”

“Ah, good answer.” You nod at the dog, who has continued to stare blankly at you. “The final and most important question…” You pause for effect. “Are you a good boy?”

The voice from behind you doesn’t speak, but the pup in front of you replies with an enthusiastic bark. You respond in kind with an enthusiastic fit of laughter.

“Well, that settles it. You’re hired. Any questions for me?” 

“Do you have a boyfriend?” You snicker at the voice behind you.

“I am as single as they come.” You poke the dog’s nose through the kennel, earning you an excited woof.

You pull yourself up from the ground, grunting slightly and turning to meet the dog’s translator. 

The man wears a white polo with a blue apron tied around his waist. His hair is a little long, highlighted with streaks of blonde. He’s handsome, though his big round eyes look at you with the same happy but almost blank expression the dog had.

“He’s very talkative, though.” The man says to you. “And clingy.”

“Maybe I like talkative and clingy, Mr. Translator.” You can see a smile tugging at the edges of his lips. 

“I guess I should give up, then.” The man turns to leave.

“Wait, give what up?” He stops in his tracks and turns back to face you. 

“The interview.”

“I didn’t realize you were also a dog up for adoption,” you do your best to look serious, but your heart flutters. 

“Meong Meong,” he replies, deadpan. You choke a little on your laugh. 

“Okay then, what makes you think you’ll be a good companion?” You raise your brows expectantly. 

“I’ll keep the house clean and sing you lullabies.” As he speaks, he moves past you and kneels on the floor to unlock the kennel. 

“Hmm,” you pause. “I do love a good lullaby, I suppose. What can you offer that another… dog can’t?”

“I’ll cook breakfast and hold your hand when we walk.” The dog walks out of the kennel and sits quietly beside the man, looking up at him with a goofy smile.

“You have him beat there; I can’t argue with that. And what’s your name?”

“Seungmin,” he finally smiles. “And yeah, I’m a good boy.” He tries to say this without laughing but fails spectacularly. The two of you are in fits of giggles, and the dog at your feet taps his front toes, tail wagging as if to join in your laughter. 

“It’s nice to meet you, Seungmin. I’m Y/N. Any questions for me?” You wipe your eyes and sniffle, having shed a tear or two after laughing so hard. 

“Am I hired? Or just Oliver?” He points at the dog.

“I think I have room for two new hires.”

#Kim Seungmin #Seungmin #Seungmin x reader #Seungmin scenarios #Seungmin imagines #Seungmin fluff #Stray Kids #SKZ #Stray Kids x Reader #SKZ x Reader #Stray Kids Scenarios #SKZ Scenarios #Stray Kids Imagines #SKZ Imagines #Seungmin SKZ #Seungmin Stray Kids #Stray Kids Seungmin #SKZ Seungmin #Kpop Imagines #Kpop Scenarios #Stray Kids Fluff #SKZ Fluff #SKZOO #SKZOO Fanart #Stray Kids Fan Fiction #SKZ Fan Fiction #Stray Kids fic #SKZ Fic #Seungmin Fic #Stray Kids Fanart

[rene-is-an-insomniac]

“Wherever I go the Wind follows." (part one)

Reverse Isekai! Scara x Reader

2k +

Based off this idea and this post

I know you all have been waiting me to release this since last Christmas (sorry I took so long.)

Thank you all for your patience I hope you enjoy!

Series: The Player and the Wannabe God

Oh I forgot for those who are new and are just reading my Sagau Scara stories, (Wanderer is named Masha. I gave him this name awhile ago in the Sentient Series.)

Reader is referred to as Them or They

Tag for my scara series is here. Follow this is you want to be updated on any new updates.

Masha knew that other worlds existed, the Traveler was living proof of that. He wasn't aware that they were being watched from the sky. Not by the Archons or Celestia but by a figure peering down into their world.

“The stars and the sky is just one giant hoax.” 

Those are the words he told the Astrologist during those falling stars he had to research.  Briefly he remembers Dottore mentioning how the fake sky they live under was a placeholder and how the real one was long destroyed during the Archon War. He didn't like thinking about it, remembering his time in the Fatui.

Looking up into the sky instead of a sea full of stars he sees faint lights in what appears to be a room and a figure peering into their world. The figure wouldn't shut up constantly muttering something as they controlled the room ,manipulating objects. 

"This goes here." The person mutters as they place the objects down in the house. 

“And if we put this here.’’ Masha peers down from his spot in the hallway, as they decorate the living room of the Traveler’s house. The characters who were in the halls remained in place. The ceiling returns to normal as they hear their voice switch into another room. 

The desert women with different color eyes took a seat on the couch letting out a sigh. She stretched her feet, relaxing from standing in place. As she sat down she immediately stood up hearing their voice re enter the room. 

He glances up seeing them look around the room before exiting through the front door. 

“Alright I'm coming.” The ceiling turned black before turning back to its normal color. 

 Characters who were in specific spots began to move. The Rwathist insomniac sluggishly passed through the halls running into the pillars.

Masha sighed, moving from his position. That person wasn't here to stop him after all.

Traveler went in the direction towards their room, others who were outside came inside and the others went their separate ways.

The Traveler and the desert woman sat on the deck of the house talking about nothing within his interest. They spare him a glance before continuing on with their conversation.

Pulling out his dispatch he snapped it in half. The area became pitch black as he was teleported out of the teapot.

________________________________________________________

"In today's lesson, we'll talk about King Deshret's rule." Wanderer sat in the back of the room, tapping his pencil on the notebook as the lecture started.He didn’t intend on coming if it wasn’t for the radish.

“Masha.” He regains his vision, as light green flashed before his eyes. Standing next to the waypoint, bag in hand was Nahida.

" You're not going to learn anything by skipping class." The older girl spoke. He rolled his eyes trying to walk away only to be stopped by her again.

"I'll do something for you in return." A small smile grew on her face as she handed him his backpack. 

"Who is singing?" His classmates looked around at each other before shrugging to the professor.

The professor's focus remained unfazed as he carried on with his lecture, seemingly unaffected by the distracting melody. The woman's voice echoed through the classroom, captivating some students while leaving others indifferent. 

Masha was already bored enough. However, the strange contrast between the professor's dull voice and the woman's song made him even more so. He looked at the other students and saw that some of them had their eyes closed and others were taking careful notes. This made him even more tempted to leave the boring lesson.

A bright light blinded the classroom as the students looked around in surprise.

The vision symbols slowly loaded onto the screen of your game. The game was updated to version 3.8.

 You were excited as this would be the first time you would go on a summer adventure with the characters, after missing it the previous year. The symbols started loading quicker as it reached  the geo and cryo symbols.

Masha’s classmates and professor began freaking out. Some ran away while others disappeared within the light. Masha didn't have time to think, before he was engulfed as well.

The timer in the other room dings distracting you from the game momentarily. You get up exiting the room leaving the load up screen.

The music and the loading screen distort.

  Pins and needles prick Masha as he tried to stand gaining awareness of his surroundings.

On his back he saw the sky much closer than before. Looking around all he saw was the sky and columns.

He gets halfway up when his knees buckle, dragging him down again. Eventually, he stands noticing his location. Instead of the Akademiya, he was on a floating island midair.

Trying to stand he notices the joint between his knees were loose causing his legs to act wobbly. Limping, he tries walking along the path to find an alternate way down.

As he walks down the road, he finds a random door at the end of it. As he gets closer, he looks at it very carefully.

 The roads create itself ahead of him as he follows the path down. He tripped every step from the loose knee socket injury. A white door appears stopping him in his tracks. As he gets to the door, he tries to open it but fails.

 No matter what he did, he could not get the door to move. He turns back the way he came to see a room. He pauses thinking over what happened, before continuing forward. His bell floats next to him as he continues forward investigating his new surroundings. 

"Yes, I'll see you later." The phone dings as you went to put it down. Soft music fills in the quietness of the house.

"Now we wait." You lean against the countertop, checking your social media. New videos regarding the newest game update pops up as you watch the trailer. "More desert areas?"

"First the desert was fine as a new mechanic, now it's irritating to even look at." You press play listening to one of the new theory videos that one of the players of the game released.

The floors creak from the upstairs. You strain your ears listening for any other movements. The house became quiet, except the music you have playing.

A pang of dread overtook you as you hastily retrieved your phone.

Should you call the police? Or should you just make sure it's nothing before you make the call.

The floorboard remained quiet after the first creak of footsteps. Taking a deep breath in, you grab a steak knife, slowly make your way upstairs.

Opening the next door, Masha finds a bedroom with a poster of the Anemo Archon and a doll of him? He walks in further picking up the doll looking over it. 

He pauses, hearing footsteps approaching the stairs that he passed. Peeking out the door he catches you, armed looking around annoyed. 

He watches you try to find him by opening all the doors and checking the room. Getting close to the one he was in, he sat in the closet waiting for you to approach.

The door to the room he was in opened soon enough. He heard rustling until you turned to look at the closet. When the closet door opened, you saw only your clothes and no one else. Before you close it, you check it carefully.

"Probably just the house settling." You turn to leave when you knock into something hard.

"What the heck? ", Looking up you see a man who look eerily similar to Masha staring you down. Your eyes wander, as you see his outfit resembling him almost identical. He must be a huge fan like yourself.

“Uhm.”

He says nothing , as he listens in on you.

"Are you a cosplayer by chance?" He stares at you blankly.

"What's a cosplayer?"

"The person you're cosplaying as, he's Scaramouche from Genshin." His face scrunches up hearing the name. He glances at his outfit, turning back to you.

"Look, I don't know what cosplaying is, but why did you bring me here." A familiar looking bell appeared in his hands. Wind blasted in your face coming from seemingly nowhere. A stone on his chest lit up briefly before dimming again.

“Wait who are you?”

“Bring? No, I don’t have the power to bring anyone anywhere.” You laugh slightly, only aggravating him more.

“I don’t have time for you.'' As he passes, you take a step in front of him. He lifts his hand pulling you up with the wind.

This must be a very expensive prop that some rich cosplayers had, or your character really crawled out of the tv, like the ring girl.

A cosplayer wouldn’t just break into your house trying to attack you. I mean some cosplayers are un hinged that they have done that. You doubt he would be doing this for viewers or to get famous.

If he really was Wanderer coming out of the game like those Isekai Anime, that would be a bad situation. 

Calming down, you out your hands up, hoping he wouldn't smack you against the wall.

“I’m sorry, what was your name again?” He remains silent looking over your form.

“I go by many names, but all of them are water under the bridge to me now.”

That's a line that Wanderer says from the game.

“Is there a specific name that I can call you?”

“Masha. That’s also what I go by.” He shrugs, focusing his attention back onto the television.

Masha?

What the hell?! You start freaking out, Genshin was a real world and wasn’t just some game some people thought up?

You begin thinking of the hilichurrls  and the people you killed to gain items to level up your characters. The smaller characters like Klee or Nahida, how did they react to killing others?

“Uhm, when you entered my house where exactly did you come from?” He points at the last door at the end of the hallway. You look towards it nervously as you approach the door. 

If Masha was the first to come through the game, would others come through it as well?”

You walk to the door making you way to your room. The load up screen was shown with red blocks tainting the grounds of it. Looks like they were aware of someone leaving. You quickly shut off the game, hoping that the Heavenly Principles wasn't aware of you exiting the game.

You already have Masha to deal with. Heavenly principles would make things worse.

“What the hell?” The game exited, before booting up again without your consent. The logo of Mihoyo appearing glithcy as the scene of Celestia glitches. The pillars were broken, and the music was vacant just leaving the wind alone.

The screen goes black before the game transitions into the Sanctuary of Surasthana.

The scene zooms in on Nahida talking to Traveler with a worried expression.

“I haven’t seen him since they entered Teyvat.” Lumine spoke.

“Usually, he goes on Adventures with them and return to Sumeru, however the students in his class went missing as well after they returned.” 

“Is there anything you can do about it, Traveler?” She shakes her head.

“I only have access to changing the time, not anything like that.” Nahida frowns.

“Thanks for your help. I know you have to continue to Fontaine, if you do see any of the missing students, please let me know.” Lumine nods making her exit from the room.

Masha’s disappearance from Genshin not only caused Nahida to worry but for students to disappear?

Nahida continues walking around the Sanctuary nervously. 

‘’Is that Buer?” Masha’s voice comes from the side of you. 

“Hey! Don’t do that.” He rolls his eyes before focusing on the screen. He gives it a weird look turning back to face you.

“So, you are the one who brought me here.” His weapon was summoned at his side immediately.

‘’ I already told you! I didn’t bring you here.” 

“Then why do you have access to Teyvat?” He glances at the party to the right of the screen.

He reads the names of each person getting to the top one. He sees his face blackned out while the others were full of life.

“Is that? " He cuts off. You look at his face on the game in shock.

“Wait why is that blackened out you’re alive not dead.”

“Is that what you’re really worried about right now?” You click his picture only for an error message to pop up again.

“Character cannot be healed.” You have revival food but it’s not working on him. Is it because he’s outside the game?

Clicking back, the camera follows traveler who disappears into the teapot. 

Taglist

@akirasgalaxy @iruiji @pyrce @d4y-dr3am3r @shizunuxie @sarah-saystuff @magica-ren @teyvattales @bigcandlesmolbrain @etherisy @y2k-apocalypse @sparklygardenzonkclam @swimminginthevoid @yuumaofc @endlessmari

(anyone else that wants to be tagged for the series, follow this tag #scara sentient

#wandererx you #scaramouche x gn reader #genshin isegau #scaramouche sagau #genshin fic #genshin reverse isekai #Reverse isekai scara #minty writes #wanderer has a name #rene genshin fics #wherever I go the wind follows #scara sentient

[sophierequests]

🌿 i talk in my sleep - send me your ideal idea of a first date and some facts about yourself (name/nickname, favourite pastry, favourite song, random fun facts etc.) and i'll ship you with a character and write a short drabble about them → please specify your sexuality, pronouns and whether the ship is supposed to be romantic or platonic!

Hi! I hope it's still the 14th where you are haha, but if it's passed the date, you can completely skip and delete this!! Ideal Idea of a First Date - Definitely attending a festival or carnival of some sorts! I love strolling around to see different carts and markets and the music and performance!! And ending the day with a fireworks show of some sort! Nickname - On here, my friends call me Oath! (but for the drabble you can just make it an 'x reader'! I don't mind ^_^) Favourite Pastry - I absolute LOVE cookies, especially chocolate chip and when it's soft baked, the best kind uwu Favourite Song - About Time (feat. Kelsey Kuan & prettyhappy) Random Fun Fact - I am pretty introverted when I first meet people, but once I feel comfortable and safe with someone, I open up and become a very energetic and talkative person, especially if it comes to topics I like or the person likes, I love listening to people's interests and have them sharing it with me Sexuality and Pronouns - I am a straight hetero woman, I go by she/her but I don't mind they/them pronouns as well! I would like it to be a romantic drabble please! (And fluff if you don't mind XD) Thank you in advance, I love your work, and I hope you have an amazing day! Take care ^_^

shipping people with grishaverse characters // the garden event

don't worry, you were just in time!

i don't think anyone's surprised by who i'm shipping you with

since we never really heard much about shu han in the books, i took the mid-autumn/mooncake festival as inspiration for this! (it's only very loosely based on it and i don't mention the history, so if you're interested in the festivities, please look them up, it's so interesting to read about!!)

“I cannot believe that the one time Nikolai is dragging us off to Shu Han is also one of the days when the whole country chooses to abandon their houses and fill up the streets,” you mumbled, more to yourself than to anyone else.

Tolya only chuckled in response, a few loose strands of hair falling lazily onto his forehead. Both of you wore a somewhat traditional robe that Nikolai had gotten all of you to blend into the crowds, but only Tamar and Tolya really managed to pull it off. You still had to admit that the fabrics looked more than stunning, especially in the warm red light emitting from all the paper lanterns around you.

“We should be glad that Nikolai didn’t intend on going through with that plan of his today.” He whispered back, almost having to lean down towards you so that you could hear. “We wouldn’t have a chance getting through the streets without causing some sort of commotion.”

“At least something,” you chuckled. “As frustrating as our favourite privateer’s planning skills are, I’m still excited to see what this whole festival is about.”

He raised his brows in amusement. “Have you never heard about the Moon Festival?”

“Tolya, I grew up in Ravka and spent my entire life cooped up at the Little Palace, studying manuscripts older than that hag Baghra, do you really think I know what kind of celebrations the Shu have?”

“Oh dear, then I have a lot to show you.” With that, he grabbed hold of your arm and pulled you face-first into the crowd.

There was so much going on and you barely had time to catch a proper breath before the next impression was basically thrust upon you. 

First, he led you to what looked like a parade passing through the streets. People dressed in colourful hanfus and intricate costumes danced amidst the onlookers, laughing and singing songs that you had never heard before. A few of them held up a giant puppet of a bright green dragon, making it dance and writhe over their heads. It was a stunning display of colours and music alike, and you couldn’t help but gape at the performers as they walked past you.

“Dragon Dance,” he stated matter-of-factly. “It’s a tradition as old as time. They used to only do it during times of drought, because the dragons are associated with rain here, so they hoped that this dance would bring us a prosperous harvest.”

“It’s most definitely a stunning tradition.”

“You’d be surprised about how many stunning traditions the Shu have other than this.” He smiled, letting his eyes wander over the parade one last time before offering you a hand. “Are you hungry? I think I know something that you might like.”

This statement should remain to ring true. He took you to a less crowded market street, vibrant shops and huts lining the sides of the road nearly everywhere you looked. There were shops selling masks, fabrics and dresses, or all kinds of food. 

Tolya stopped in front of a bright red booth, offering something that looked to be tiny sweets. He called them mooncakes and went on a long, complex rant about how his sister always used to steal the best ones while he was left with the flavours that no one really liked. After he was done rambling, he bought a little box full of mooncakes and two cups of Kuei Hua Chen Chiew, also called osmanthus wine as he explained to you later.

For what felt like the hundredth time today, he pulled you away from the commotion and towards a little ledge that overlooked the lower parts of the city and quite a bit of the raging sea. The city was bathed in the red glow of the lanterns and flashing lights, competing against the heavy darkness that surrounded you. It was a strange, but beautiful sight to see. And it was made even more beautiful by the fact that you had someone to share it with.

#— the garden celebration #tolya yul bataar x reader

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Psycho Analysis: Bowser

(WARNING! This analysis contains SPOILERS!)

Most of the time, saying a character needs no introduction is a bit of an exaggeration, because there is always the chance, however slim, that someone has not heard of that character. That’s not the case here, though; you could go to the deepest, most isolated jungle tribe on Earth, ask the villagers if they’ve heard of Mario, and they’ll all start singing out the Mario theme music. With that in mind, today’s subject absolutely needs no introduction, but out of respect for the King of Koopas I’ll give him one anyway: This is Bowser.

Bowser is not simply a video game villain. Bowser is THE video game villain. Like Mario, Peach, and Luigi, this big old turtle is pretty much a household name, loved far and wide for his iconic design, simple yet effective boss battles, and his inexplicable yet somehow still understandable sexiness. The question is, can I make it through this review without making some sort of crude comment about the raw sexuality the King of Koopas exudes? Lets find out!

Motivation/Goals: Bowser from day one has always been a pretty simple man. All he wants in life is those peaches, peaches, peaches… And I mean, really, can you blame him?

Yes, his motivations and goals are pretty simple and shallow, but he always manages to make something as trite as rescuing a damsel in distress fun and refreshing. His strict adherence to basic formula leaves a lot of room for mixing things up though, and this same adherence makes the times when he breaks tradition and does something like fight on Mario’s side all the better. And sometimes it’s clear Bowser just wants to relax and fuck around by karting, playing board games, or competing in some sort of sport.

It’s a fun little twist on that old “Knight rescues a princess from a dragon,” except the dragon is a giant turtle and the knight is an Italian plumber (a more powerful force than any knight could hope to be). Of course, the fact Bowser is incredibly obsessed with a woman despite her wanting nothing to do with him means that Bowser is—you guessed it—a

Performance: Hoo boy, are there a lot of Bowser voice actors.

The cartoons used Harvey Atkins, who delivered a fun and cartoonish take on Bowser; Marc Graue voiced him in Hotel Mario, but this isn’t shocking as he was basically every male character in that game; Peter Cullen technically voiced him from 1996 to 2006 due to archival roars he provided for the 1976 remake of King Kong being repurposed for Bowser’s own roars; Charles Martinet provided his iconic evil laughs for 64; Kenny James is his current voice actor; Jack Black turned in a very against type performance in the Illumination movie; and Dennis Hopper of all people portrayed him in the live action film from the 90s. And these are just the ones I wanted to highlight! There are a few English voice actors I skipped as well as his extensive Japanese voice cast! Here’s the complete list, just so I’m not here all day:

The point I’m trying to make is this: Bowser’s iconic status is completely a group effort, and each of these dudes helped contribute to Bowser’s status in our hearts and minds in their own unique ways.

Final Fate: It really depends on the game or movie or whatever, but he is always defeated by Mario at any rate. Sometimes he’s simply defeated and sent on his way; sometimes he’s captured and imprisoned, like in the animated movie; and sometimes he just fucking dies, like in the live action movie and New Super Mario Bros. Don’t worry, he gets better.

Best Scene: Bowser in the earlier games had rather simple boss fights, though they weren’t completely unmemorable. Still, out of his early days it’s hard to deny his epic battle against Yoshi in the finale of Yoshi’s Island, where his child self is grown to gargantuan size and ominously lumbers towards you from the background while a hardcore boss tune blasts through your speakers, is the peak of his NES/SNES days.

Then we have his early forays into 3D, and it’s inarguable that the boss fights he has against Mario in the timeless classic Super Mario 64 are some of his best, even if they are rather simplistic. I mean, this is where we got “So long, Gay Bowser!” from, can you really deny its place in Mario history? And those are just a couple! We could probably sit here all day talking about his great battles in games like Odyssey, New Super Mario Bros, Galaxy, and so on.

Bowser’s most impressive showing outside of the games is The Super Mario Bros. Movie. The initial teaser for the film, which showcased his opening fight against the penguin kingdom, really helps establish Bowser as the threat he is, and the final battle and the wedding scene in the movie are some of his greatest villain moments to date. But I’m going to be cliché and give the spotlight to his villain song, “Peaches.”

Here’s the thing, though: As a song, “Peaches” kind of sucks. It’s just Jack Black saying “Peaches” fifty times in a row and then making Jack Black noises. But that’s also what makes it so genuinely great; in the hands of a lesser actor/musician, this really would just be the dumbest shit imaginable, but in the hamtastic hands of Jack Black the song has become an instant legend. I think the visuals and the beautiful piano playing really help, not to mention the official music video where JB dresses up as Bowser and tosses peaches around. Lyrically it’s nothing to write home about, but man does the performance really sell it.

Oh yeah and there’s this too:

Final Thoughts & Score

It is near impossible to overstate how iconic, important, and downright awesome Bowser is.

Like, this guy is the final boss. He pretty much codified what that means in terms of video games, being one of the first iconic big bads of gaming and the first adversary a lot of gamers fought. It’s kind of hard to believe today, but the original Mario games were genuinely some of the most groundbreaking games of all time, and the only reason it’s hard to believe is because video games have been building off the groundwork they laid down back in the 80s. Bowser is no exception; every single video game villain, especially platformer villains, owes a debt of gratitude to the king of the Koopas.

I think part of the reason Bowser has managed to survive and thrive through console generation after console generation is because he, much like the rest of the core Mario cast, is extremely versatile as a character and can slip into any situation with relative ease. He can be an evil overlord, a bratty child, a loving father, a kart racer, an Olympic champion, a platform fighter combatant, the owner of a Coney Island disco palace, a giant skeleton, a board game player, it doesn’t matter! Bowser can do it all! He can be a goofy, bumbling comedy villain or he can be a galaxy-destroying threat that would make Thanos shit himself, he has range like you wouldn’t believe!

It helps that both times he has shown up in a movie he has managed to be a scene-stealing smorgasbord of ham and cheese. Dennis Hopper’s madcap, in-it-for-the-money-but-not-half-assing-it performance in the live action film is so delightfully over the top that he manages to make the mere act of saying “Monkey” and “Bob-Omb” memorable and meme-worthy. While he’s a bit far off from what you’d totally want from Bowser, and his saurian form gets relegated to a two second cameo before his death, it’s hard for me to really give him less than a solid 7/10. He’s just too damn fun.

Meanwhile, Jack Black delivered a performance so good that it makes it easy to overlook the many problems the movie has (like its terrible needle drops). He’s just so fun, funny, and even genuinely intimidating, perfectly mixing all of the traits that make people love Bowser into one big, juicy package. I think everyone knew this was going to be a 10/10 performance right from the moment it was announced, but still it was pretty impressive just how well Black was able to slip into Bowser to the point he was almost unrecognizable at times.

No one would argue that Bowser deserves less than an 11/10; he is genuinely one of the single most important characters of the 21st century, and has made a mark on gaming that very few villains could match. He is to final bosses what Dracula is to vampires, what the Wicked Witch is to witches, and what Fu Manchu is to racist caricatures of Asian people. Other villains have more depth and complexity than Bowser, but that doesn’t really matter when he kidnaps Peach for the thousandth time and throws an army of freaky mushroom men and crazy turtles at you, because you’re gonna be there helping Mario stomp those Goombas to get to him. Bowser is just an icon, and his place in video game history is absolutely, utterly gargantuan.

JUST LIKE HIS DICK!

#Psycho Analysis #Bowser #Jack Black #Dennis Hopper #Super Mario Bros. #Youtube

[princesssarisa]

Sleeping Beauty Spring: "Simsala Grimm: Sleeping Beauty" (2000 animated series episode)

Here we find yet another animated fairy tale anthology series. Simsala Grimm, which first aired in Germany and which is also known in English as The Fairy Tales of the Brothers Grimm, was a series that initially ran from 1999 through 2000, then was revived for a second season in 2010. It revolves around two small, friendly creatures, an adventurous blue coyote named Yoyo and a nerdy red and pink "bookworm" named Doc Croc. In each episode, they use a magic book to fly to the land of Simsala, "where all the fairy tale characters really lived," and they enter a classic fairy tale, usually from the Grimms' collection, where they serve as audience surrogates and sidekicks to the main characters. The 2006 CGI film Happily N'Ever After was first greenlit as an adaptation of this show – the characters of Mambo and Munk were originally meant to be Yoyo and Doc Croc – but eventually the series' production company withdrew and the film was reworked as a stand-alone project.

Knowing the structure of each episode, I wondered exactly how this series would handle the story of Sleeping Beauty, with its two long time skips. I couldn't imagine Yoyo and Doc Croc staying in one story for more than a hundred years! As it turns out, the solution is simple: Yoyo and Croc enter near the end of the traditional tale. They arrive in Simsala to find the castle under the spell of sleep, with everyone frozen in place like statues and with briars growing all around. Three singing birds explain that the castle has been enchanted for a hundred years, and show Sleeping Beauty herself to the two explorers on her bed in the highest tower. They also tell them that the fairy Bianca can explain further. To find her, Yoyo and Croc shoot themselves out of a canon and land in the nearby forest. There they meet Prince Berthold, a handsome, slightly goofy young romantic who composes bad poetry and is searching for Sleeping Beauty.

The trio soon discovers the hidden lair of the evil fairy Gorgona: an insect-themed fairy in a black bodysuit and cape, who flies on the back of a giant dragonfly. After she leaves, they sneak into her cave, where they find an owl in a cage... who turns out to be the good fairy Bianca under a spell that Gorgona cast. She explains that when Sleeping Beauty was a baby, Gorgona cursed her to prick her finger and die on her seventeenth birthday, but that she, Bianca, softened the curse to a hundred-year sleep. (As in the Rankin/Bass Festival of Family Classics version, there are only two fairies in this retelling, one good and one evil.) Our heroes free her, and after she changes herself back to her true form – a tiny, chubby, winged woman in pink – they head back to the castle.

A pit filled with briars blocks the way into the castle, but Bianca urges Prince Berthold to jump in, because if his love is true, he'll be safe. Sure enough, the briars vanish. But in the castle courtyard, Gorgona attacks, and no weapon is any match for her magic. Yoyo and Croc distract her, however, letting Prince Berthold escape to the tower where Sleeping Beauty lies. When he kisses her, not only is the spell broken, but all of Gorgona's magic fades away, and Bianca transforms the helpless villainess into an owl. As the awakened castle prepares to belatedly celebrate Sleeping Beauty's birthday, and to live happily ever after, Yoyo and Croc fly away on their magic book to find new adventures in other stories.

As fairy tale anthologies go, this series isn't my personal favorite, but I do consider Sleeping Beauty one of the better episodes. The animation style is cartoony and the human (and humanoid) characters tend to look homely, though the animals have more appeal, and children should enjoy the bold, colorful aesthetic. Meanwhile, Yoyo and Doc Croc are likable characters, who manage to fit into the story without distorting it, and the tale is infused with light touches of humor, without becoming a "fractured fairy tale." The choice to begin the story after the hundred years, to tell the earlier parts in flashbacks, and to place the main focus first on solving the mystery of the enchanted castle, then on Prince Berthold's quest to break the spell, is also effective. It brings freshness to the tale, and though it means that Sleeping Beauty herself gets little screen time compared to her prince and the fairies, this is hardly the first adaptation where that happens.

While I slightly prefer Grimm's Fairy Tale Classics and Happily Ever After: Fairy Tales for Every Child among the list of animated fairy tale series, Simsala Grimm still has enough charm to make it stand out in that genre. If you like fairy tale anthologies, it shouldn't be missed.

@ariel-seagull-wings, @thealmightyemprex, @faintingheroine, @reds-revenge, @paexgo-rosa, @autistic-prince-cinderella, @the-blue-fairie, @themousefromfantasyland, @fairytaleslive, @thatscarletflycatcher, @comma-after-dearest

#sleeping beauty spring #simsala grimm #sleeping beauty #2000 #animation #animated series #episode #germany

[cementisgud]

Evil’s Theater Productions : LUST ARC

Okay, so I’ll probably getting questions like “Why are you skipping all the other OSS songs?” I just feel like if the rest were in a stageplay it would be pretty self-explanatory on what would happen for a stageplay. If you have any ideas for the OSS songs, please share them on the OSS post!! Now... Let’s grab our books/mangas/novels and get our headphones on... *Opens some big ass LODV book* Let’s talk about one thing: How will Venomania do... stotheetothex? 1. We can’t make the actors do THAT because that’s very illegal.. 2. We could maybe imply that it happened.... or water it down.  Any other options? Share your ideas here. Okay let’s actually get onto the song. One thing for sure, we wont start with the yet, we need to do Venomania’s past of course, I think it’s self explanatory on how things will work there... *skips a couple pages f.*  So the stage will be dark, purple dim light shows, we’re at the part of the song we’re showing the dead bodies. We see Irina with the Venom Sword (she enters Left stage center btw if people still care about stage directions cause im giving up on them for these are just hcs) and she approaches Venomania, he stabs himself as usual. After he does that, he goes near the audience BUT NOT TO NEAR (downstage for stage direction ppl) and says his lines.... “Saa, odorou ka?” and he extends his hands out to the audience. The music starts, AND WE GET A WHOLE DAMN PREVIEW OF THE HAREM. Since this is a concert time thing rn.. no we’re not getting to chase down 18 girls, their just there. As Venomania starts singing the first lines, we see Lukana and she runs up to Venomania and kinda hugs him ig ??? IDK  HOW TO DESCRIBE JUST WATCH THE MV. When he says “ This power I obtained by a contract, with a forbidden demon. “ we get to see a screen that shows Irina giving him the katana and Venomania opening it. Venomania does his little (nahh why am i saying little??) lust spell on Lukana when he says “ All of the woman who see my eyes, fall into a charm. “ I GUESS QUICKLY WE COULD SEE LUKANA CHANGE INTO HER HAREM OUTFIT... LIKE THOSE DRESSES THAT TRANSFORM AND THEY’RE SUPER COOL BUT ANYWAY-- Lukana and Mikulia sings their parts ig.. idk what to do here. Skipping the chorus cause it’s self explanatory.. and DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO ABOUT THAT. When Venomania says, “When the clothes come off and we embrace, we can never again return to reality.” WE SEE A BIG, GIANT, ASS SCROLL THAT THE ENTIRE AUDIENCE CAN SEE. It shows the missing woman as we see the set-up for the next verse. We see an old portrait burning and all the girls are present and yk what the lyrics say... he smooches Gumina (I ALMSOT SPELLED GUMILLIA SOMEONE KILL ME)  Gumina and Maylis do their part... rest is self explanatory.. and we see another giant scroll with more missing girls. While the epic piano solo is playing, we see Karchess getting ready to go beat some ass and yk he’s like “im get my wife back from the girlfriend stealer” once again he wont say that..we know what happens. Yk what happens this time Karchess goes up to Venomania and he’s like “HEYYY *smirks and blushes like an uwu girls* and then he stabs Venomania... During this stageplay, we know what happens, but I want it to be like nobody knows, SO WE GOTTA MAKE SURE WE CAN’T SEE KARCHESS STABBING VENOMANIA. There’s blood now as you know, but Venomania aint collapsing yet, we need Karchess to sing his part. When Karchess sings “And thrust into the demon a dagger from his breast pocket.” the lights can glow green for a second cause that’s a wrath vessel. VENOMANIA COLLASPES, AND HE’S LIKE “ASFHISHIGHVDIUIFJIOHUAS NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!! MY ART! DIOHGHAGIUHDFOPGHIU!” (once again he won’t say that im being silly) and we see the blood changing to purple. The woman are running away and stuff like that. For a second the music stops, we get to hear Venomania actually scream with all his emotion!! “Ah. . . Gumina... Wait! Wait!” (more silence as Gumina turns around, as two spotlights focuses on the two) “I haven’t yet told you I love you!”, and Gumina runs away. - The Potrait that Glassred Drew -  Gumina is holding a canvas, it’s torn, and burnt. She says the lines... “If only you hadn’t changed.” There’s another canvas on an aisle, and she’s painting as she’s singing. She’s painting Cherubim. As we get to the chorus, more paintings show. It’s her memories, her memories of Cherubim and Sateriasis when they were children, all having fun, all playing. Second verse “That burnt protrait. You said “I hate that face.” I really don’t know what to do as I’m listening to the song, so please share your ideas. As we get to the part “It’s not that changing is bad.”, I want her to face the audience. She continues to paint Cherubim. At the last chorus... She shows the painting to the audience... and the curtain closes. *Rips off headphones and closes the book.* I sobbed listening to The Portrait that Glassred Drew. I’m not doing Flower of Plateau because I just want to move on with this so if you have ideas for that one send them please (not forced). Also my brother--Nana likes Mikulia Calaground now so... yeah.

#evillious #evillious chronicles #lust arc #evillious theater productions

[mythicaldemigoddess-of-deltarune]

Crossover Theory: Is Devil (From Cuphead Show) A Steven...?

[In case no one bothers reading all of the tags for this, I’m editing this to put this down....DO NOT REBLOG THIS WITHOUT MY PERMISSION, I had even put the tag for it in with the other tags before posting this, and even though there was one person before who didn’t know about the whole not reblogging without permissions in one of my last posts, but we had worked things out and I gave them official permission...

but please do NOT ignore that tag, also Not all theories have to be taken seriously or literally, some theories are “what-if” theories and some shouldn’t be taken the wrong way even if some might be silly, so once again, please make sure to check the tags for anything that says “do not reblog without my permission” but you know what, if some are gonna misinterpret this post, just skip it and wait for other video games or cartoon theories, as of now, reading this can just be optional, but no one really has to read it if they don’t want to....]        

we already know the theory about Sans being a future version of Steven,

because one of the evidence of that is his name...

Steven Quartz Universe spells out Sans.

also this will talk about some spoilers from Season 3 of Cuphead Show, which reminded me of Steven Universe, don’t read this until you watch all the episodes of Season 3 of The Cuphead Show.

anyway, for those who have watched all the episodes of Season 3 of Cuphead Show....

we know what happens when Devil-Boy, doesn’t get a single soul for too long, all the things and those he treasures gets put into a bubble.

and who else is able to put things and people into bubbles, Steven and the other Gems....

Henchman being in a bubble, means that Devil cares for him, and I wouldn’t be surprised that King Dice would end up being in a bubble as well.

like in one of the AU of Cuphead, like the Casino Cups, picture the same thing happening but like it not just being King Dice in one of those bubbles,

but all of the employees and even Cuphead & Mugman, picture teasing Devil with the words “you luv us!”

that would be both funny and cute.

we know that all the time clones of Steven ended up dying once that time traveling item was destroyed by the Original Steven that started it all.

it could be possible that in a Crossover way, that version of Steven was reborn into the Cuphead Show’s world, but still having a soul of a hybrid Gem.

Devil can shape shift, but is a master at it, Steven could shape shift but he wasn’t originally very good at it, because of the whole cat episode  and trying to make himself look older for Connie because it seem he wasn’t going to age along with her, but it turns out that Steven just ages really slowly and his appearance did change a little when his older self appeared in the movie.

there can be one version of Steven that becomes Sans, and the other could end  up being reborn as Devil from the Cuphead Show.

I know that the new season 3 of Cuphead Show, makes me think that the Devil might be connected to one of the versions of Steven. XD

and how do we know the “S” in his name isn’t Steven, lol.

they used bubbles in one episode that made me come to that weird theory.

it be interesting if Sans tricks Devil into singing “all I want to do, is see you turn into a Giant Woman.”

like Sans singing the first part of the song, and Devil (without thinking) sings the next part of the song...XD

plus another reason for the theory of Devil, being maybe connected to one of the Stevens that ended up turning to dust...

is that the bubbles that end up being around the items and persons that Devil seems to treasure the most, seems a bit pink.

another theory can be that Devil isn’t another version of Steven reborn,

but could very well be somehow connected to the gem race, well both him and some Angels.

both are possibly beings that make up Physical Consciousness Manifestations Of Light, taking on either humanoid forms or other type of forms.

Gems could of been originally Angels, or like White Diamond could of been originally one, but gave up her original form to place her very consciousness into a white diamond and being the first Gem, and then she created Yellow, Blue and Pink.

I don’t think I will ever understand why Masculine Angels think war and physical violence solves everything, cause it sure as heck doesn’t.

it’s only okay in video games and other fictional work, not in real life.

and if some info about Jesus is true, I will still hold some disappointment.

plus it would just give me another reason to want to go live with the Earthly Mother/Goddess, even if I can still believe in the Heavenly Father/God....

I mean if Jesus did cross the line (that I hope he doesn’t cross the line),

it doesn’t mean I will be okay with it, because so many would end up becoming hurt and the song that would match that would be the song

that is called “Apologize” by OneRepublic...

and please don’t view my words or feelings as blasphemy, I just want to try to hope that Jesus would NEVER cross a line that has to do with some stuff I had read, because if he does, he will just be doing evil actions for the sake of “justice” because if he did make people fight each other and even cause some other bad stuff to happen, he will just prove that even those who are of Heaven can do actions that can be harmful...

I don’t even want his and Satan’s fights, to cross a line...

and yeah I still have a beef with some of Satan’s little Satanist followers from one of my past lives, once again when reincarnation comes, I NEVER want to be reborn into a Toxic-Satanist Family like one of my past lives...

 being a daughter of a Mafia Boss in a past life, seems more tolerable.

it’s lucky I don’t remember full stuff from past lives, and it is possible some might only remember bits and pieces, which might be a good thing.

some past life memories can be triggered, like if your wearing a outfit that reminds you of a outfit you had died in one of your past lives.

it can be possible that sometimes, Earth Angels and Non-Earth Angels that go through reincarnation, will always be in danger of losing their life a little too early....

anyway back to the whole Crossover Theory, we know that Devil in Cuphead series, can shape shift and if he doesn’t collect soul and waits a little too long, everything and person he treasures will be placed into a bubble.

guess that leaves Stickler out, he wasn’t placed in bubble...

so either Devil is Steven’s Gem Half who had reformed into the Devil, or he is someone 100% different and is not Steven.

but if Steven’s original self did get into a accident where his gem popped out and took too long to reform, and causing the human half of Steven to die and then become reborn and revived as Sans, while the Gem Half that is Pink-Steven becomes upset over the loss of his other half and brother.

could of been so upset that his very gem breaks and causing the consciousness inside to break free and travel as a white ball of light until ending up at Inkwell Isle, and reforming into a new form that would be known as “The Devil”.....

 one half of Steven, the Human Half that still has some traces of being half Gem, becomes Sans, while the other half who use to be Pink-Steven/Gem-Steven couldn’t take the guilt of not reforming in time to save his human half, ends up throwing a tantrum and cry so powerful, it breaks his own gem and causes his consciousness to form into a ball of light and travel for who knows how long until ending up at Inkwell Isle and then reforming as Devil.

not all theories have to be correct, but we know it could be possible that Sans is a future self of Steven...and well you can still blame one of the episodes of Season 3 of Cuphead Show for the theory that has to do with Devil having some kind of past life as a Steven Quartz Universe...                                                 

#devil cuphead #cuphead show #steven quartz universe #steven universe #sans the skeleton #undertale #deltarune #cuphead show spoilers #crossover theory #do not reblog without permission

[fakefrench10]

I am traveling

Very warm, sunny city. I see a lot of brown and orange and yellow. The sun is bright but not burning. I almost know this place. Giant buildings with incredible details. On my right there was one. I didn’t pay too much attention, because it was similar to other buildings, just way bigger. Now I remember it was not just bigger. The ceiling was like twenty meters. Stairs ended where you couldn’t see. The reception desk was normal size. Maybe it was a museum or university. Everything brown marble with gold and orange and red and green. Sure I saw that stone so many times. In a church? in a castle? museum? London? Berlin? Portugal?

And sure I knew that place. It had weird rotating doors, which is impractical for such a place with the same ideal temperature all year long. I had all the time in the world. Also weird because there was a concierge that would open the door for you. The rotating? I knew the place though. Headed straight to the toilet. I think it had the same layout as my university. My university, I saw it too many times before. On occasions like this. In all kinds of lightings and colors and shapes. Got even lost a few times.

Thought to go to the toilet just in case. I had still a lot to walk. Tourist with a plan. There were no cabins. Just rows of stalls. A lot of blue and white and silver. Light coming in from the windows. Sun. That was the only source of light. Very bright. The whole wall was windows. Old fashioned ones. White frames dividing a window in six parts. Everything was many hundred years old but looked fresh. Started walking on my right. Isles of stalls. One woman was too loud alone in one isle. No doors. I skipped. One was dirty. Further there was a whole family occupying an isle. Didn’t understand the language. Seems they were deciding something while also helping their kids with the toilet. I walked back and to the left from the door. That was the shower area. Actual cabins. Still no doors. Metal sink like vessels, where one would sit in and on a metal sit and shower. Around the sit there were little metal compartments for soap and things. All in positions where one could easily find. It was a big row of cabins like that. All occupied by women looking pretty much alike. My mom’s age. A bit overweight. White, with brown-ginger hair. There was a steam, but all accumulated somehow close to the ceiling. And none on the windows.

I thought, well, I didn’t have to go that badly anyway and just left the bathroom. The steamy bathroom was as nicely warm as the all-stone-everything foyer. On the way out I saw the concierge. He was dressed in a black suit with red outlines in a rope-like knitted fabric. Golden buttons, many of them, going all the way to the neck, to the standing collar. You could still see the white shirt and the tie underneath. Black boots to the knee. A black hat with a shiny leather around it. A Chauffeur hat. An older men. Very fit and neat. The man for the job. But not living for it. He had two days beard on. With my look I let him know I will open the door myself. He nodded and smiled with approval. We nodded and smiled like old friends.

Outside I was busy singing a melody. Of a symphony that just came to me. Was composing it on the go. It was most probably the first movement, the Sonata. It was upbeat. Setting the mood of the piece. I had a feeling I started singing not from the start but from my favorite part. I thought it would have been nice to be a musician and write it down later. It was too beautiful and too late for that.

I got rid of the thought of writing it down, to focus, to not miss any of the moments. The future was not worth it. Every other times, I thought it’d be better to write it down. Every other time turned into a work. A text. A memory. Every other time there was someone in my essence. Someone I was beyond comfortable to have. Every other time there was something in my bloodstream. Something I trusted. This time it was absolutely pure. Out of nowhere.

Outside, suddenly it was green and grey, hilly. I was singing the melody, playing air-piano. And air-organ. And air violin. All at the same time. Walking very fast. Dancing. Actually sliding on my toes to the tact, like a ballerina. Up and up. Hill after hill. Not getting tired. New tons, fresher and more sophisticated just composing themselves on the go.

The houses up the hills looked rich and tasteful. All a bit alike but you wouldn’t mix them up. I don’t remember too clearly how I met this girl. In front of one of the houses. I knew her. I was obsessed. But not out of my mind obsessed. It was a decision to be obsessed. She must have been who I meant when I said ‘’it’s not out of the question’’ the other day, when Ulysses asked me if it was out of question. She had a pretty face. Very clean skin, little nose, smiling eyes. Very large forehead. hair to the ears. Like mine. I thought that house is not her style. Too fancy and too quiet. It couldn’t be hers.It wasn’t.

Don’t remember how we ended up at her place. In city center, where there are no hills. Students area I thought. It was a tiny place. with a bed on the floor. A lot of wood. The floor. The ceiling. Very little furniture. many pieces of bedsheets and covers. All randomly on the floor and the bed. Red and green and yellow and brown. Maybe we had closed the window blinds. It felt comfortable like that. Didn’t even try to imagine what the sunlight would do to the view.

I had one pizza and she had her’s. Looked at the box of mine. Noted the name of the restaurant under the under-10 row on a colorful paper she had. Her’s was more expensive. I felt bad a bit. But really I didn’t care. I was sure. Decided to be sure.We ate each one piece. I thought it was enough to get food out of my head. I started kissing her.

She said ‘wait’. Did some gesture, and now I could only see the front of her face without the eyes, ears or mouth or nose. The rest of the face seemed floating in the air like an animation. Like a ghost. Still had the sensation of having her hair in my fingers a second ago. I continued. She was very thin. Thinner than me. I continued. I thought she liked it. I couldn’t tell. Put aside my ego. I was given the power and had to use it. Show it. Play it. At least in words and moves. At one moment I wished I could see her eyes. Just to see how she looks when I kiss her. Get some reassurance. But then it was the first time and would make me shy a bit. I said ‘I am so ready for you’. That was not the answer to whatever she asked. In fact that was what she should have said to me. I was not able to support my decisions anymore. I kept ignoring those red flags or blue or any.

The next thing I know I am at my parents’, sleeping in front of a christmas tree. Half sleeping. I see how two very big candles fall on the floor and magically get back to their place. The decorations too. It seems someone is animating them. Line turning back the time. But every time the broken decorations and half curved candles on the floor head back to their places in a completely different more creative way. I go back to sleep and think it was a dream. Then it happens again. It’s definitely not a dream. The candles are just playing. I force myself to get up. News on my parents’ tv. Huge flood somewhere in Australia. It’s been raining heavily for days. Cars stuck in water. The reporter is on a roof of one. I saw the girl on a roof of another one. Talking about climate change and helping people. That’s what she does she tells. Goes to places of disasters and helps around. She was all over the news.

My mom comes in with my phone. You know how you can hide your notifications on iphone? I don’t do it. So anyone can see my messages on the lock screen. My mom says ‘I thought you would need this’ and hands me over my phone. She knows I have been waiting for that message. With all the rescuing and television and terrible rain and floods, she wrote ‘Sorry I didn’t answer earlier. A lot is going on’

Not every dream is colorful.

#dream #meaning

[chaoticwritersblock]

I wrote a thing on the back of my note book and I thought I'd share it

There once was a tree.

It was a very old tree, tall and gnarled. Its branches reached towards the sun. The branches (much like the roots) were thick, so thick in fact, that a whole village could fit without a single house hanging off. And they were strong, strong enough to hold twenty full grown giants without a single groan. It birthed golden leaves as big as football pitches and silver flowers that bloomed in all seasons. The leaves were said to be made of solid gold. Men wanted them. The leaves of the Elder Tree (much like the blood of the ones who lived there hidden from the world) promised eternal life and power, it was said that whoever crushed the golden leaves would live a fulfilling life. They hunted and hunted, searching for the Golden Lark that would lead them to their goal. No one found it, no hunter that is, but a young woman did. She was a rose among thorns, her innocence outshining that of those around her. She stumbled upon a creak once when she was out in the woods on a walk. She followed it, it seemed to go on forever and ever glinting like crystals in the afternoon light. Singing and dancing, she walked her path. The Lark heard her and sung: "Follow me! Follow me! Follow me young maiden! Let me show you a secret!"

Intrigued, she went after the singing skipping over fallen trees and jumping over trampled plants. But despite the marks left by mortality, it was outshined by the beauty. She glided through the woods as if she belonged there never tripping on the roots that stuck out or rocks that stood in her way, she followed the Lark until it stopped. It stopped before a cave covered by vines of flowers that glittered silver. She stared, curious, and followed the singing bird onwards. Inside, the Elder Tree towered over her, casting her in its glory and shadow. Squirrels scampered across the branches circled by birds of colours she'd never seen.

The Lark led her further. Underneath the roots she went, up and down through twisting corridors that seemed never ending where the animals whispered as she passed. They stopped in a grove where the blue of the river glowed like sapphire and the waterfall mumbled as if speaking words: 'darling' it bubbled, 'darling- come- at last.'

Green and crystal glistened upon all her eye could see. Within it all, she caught a shadow among the tall blades of grass. The Winds ruffled the the green and leaves as the youth stood, his hair dark and red irises fixed on her. He smiled, a grin too wide and white.

"Welcome," He said, "it's been too long."

I don't know what happened at the end nor do I know how a tree links to it all but I guess that's what happens when you just write on impulse. Not the best, but I can't say I hate it, I think it's quite good.

Impulse writing is fun ☺️

- D

#impulsive #writing #fantasy #magic #yeah idk

[delimeful]

failed bounties and fresh bonds

commission for @the-panmixxia! thank you so much for your support! :)

warnings: fear/panic, unintentional child endangerment, pretty bad injury, hypothetical gore/death mentions, remus being remus

-

Virgil pressed his palm over his mouth, struggling not to make any noise even as his lungs strained for air. There was someone in his forest, and he was sure they were here to kill him or worse.

He should have left before tonight, gotten as far away as possible, but... He’d lived here for longer than any of the other temporary homes he’d found. It was the safest place he’d found.

The trees in the forest were old and huge, enough that they sheltered him from view. The mountain was even more so, with old dragon caves that he could spend hours exploring. There was a little town to the south, but the forest was big enough that no travelers stumbled across the part where he lived.

He’d only snuck down to the town because he’d wanted to see the lights that had been strung up in the streets. He wasn’t sure what they were for, but they were bright and beautiful.

He hadn’t meant to get so close. He hadn’t meant to be caught.

But between one moment and the next, there had been a tiny gasp, and he’d turned his head to see one of the townsfolk, a young woman, staring up at him in frozen terror. The sight of the human had terrified him just as much, and he’d tipped back onto his butt, his hand knocking into a market stall with a crash of splintering wood.

The spell of silence broken, the woman screamed, the alarm spreading as windows began to light all down the street. Virgil had scrambled back like a crab, before turning and fleeing into the woods, leaving behind the distant noise of opening doors and raised voices.

It had all led to this. He’d been seen, and they’d set a bounty on his head, and now there was a strange human in his forest.

Virgil could hear the stranger humming, his tone nasal and low, occasionally straying painfully off key. He’d been using the sound as a guide, creeping away as quietly as he could whenever it came into range, but no matter how hard he tried to put distance between them, the wind would carry that hum back to him the moment he settled down to hide.

The stranger was a skilled tracker, maybe, or had extraordinarily good luck, or actually had seen Virgil that first time and had been following him from a distance ever since, tiring him out like a wolf stalking a deer. He didn’t sound like a knight, didn’t move with the crash of steel or ride a horse. Virgil hoped he wasn’t a knight, almost more than he wished he’d never gone down to that village at all.

He let himself breathe in, quiet and shaky, and then pushed away from the wall of his cave, listening for the stranger so he could try and sneak away once more.

Between the distant trees and night sky, there was silence.

Virgil leaned towards the cave’s opening, scanning the sharp silhouettes and straining for even the most muffled sound of twigs underfoot.

At the lip of the cave, a human-sized figure swung into view upside down, baring bone-white teeth in an unhinged grin. “Boo!”

Virgil couldn’t help the small scream that tore from him, the noise echoing against the cavern’s walls. His heart racing, he bolted back down those familiar tunnels without another thought, fleeing even as the human’s cackling cut off sharply.

“—Hey, wait, get back here! I didn’t spend all night wandering in the cold-ass woods just to have a monster blueball me out of a fight again!”

Shouted into a deep cave, the stranger’s words bounced and overlapped until they were just meaningless noise around Virgil, only propelling him forward faster. He took the corners sharply, scrambling up near sheer cliffs, barely noticing the way sharp protruding rocks scraped against his shoulders or pierced the soft bits of his feet.

He didn’t realize he was cornering himself until he turned into a dead end, the paths somehow warped and unfamiliar under the force of his panic. Quick, skipping steps were pursuing him in the distance, which meant that the human could still hear his footsteps, and so he shuffled into the furthest corner of the cavern and focused on making himself still and quiet, no matter how hard his body wanted to tremble and shake and sob.

There was no doubt about it; the stranger was a bounty hunter, and Virgil was the bounty.

That nasally voice continued to echo down to Virgil as he rambled on, complaining or singing or making jokes Virgil didn’t get, all while steadily pursuing his quarry.

Bit by bit, the noise drew closer and closer, accompanied by the crackle of a merrily burning torch. He seemed to be utterly undeterred by the twisting, unsettling nature of the mountain, and what little hope Virgil had began to fade. There was no way that the stranger would just happen to pass him by.

It would take a miracle to save him now.

A cavern away, a chunk of old stone gave way under an overconfident foot.

—-

“Oh, fuck—,” Remus shouted, his brain nearly shorting out as he tripped directly into freefall.

His divination provided him with a slurry of unhelpful images, each one matching a tiny movement he made while falling: him landing on his legs and shattering both of them so hard he blacks out, him landing on his head and doing a lot worse than blacking out, ragdolling all the way down the crevice below, twisting so that his foot catches on a crack in the wall and wrenches his ankle— That one!

He howled as his foot caught, and then the bitch that was gravity caught up with him and his back and skull slammed against the wall, knocking the air out of him and causing little white flashes to appear in his vision.

It took a long moment to come back to himself through the pain, but when he did, he found himself still dangling in place by a single ankle. He’d lost his torch somewhere in the process.

He glanced down, and knew immediately that the shadowy drop below was fatal, the cracks of potential future bone breaking settling into his brain.

Glancing up, he knew immediately that his ankle was boned, going by the interesting angle it was making with the rest of his leg.

He contemplated reaching up with his other foot and trying to wedge it in another crack. His brain offered him visions of the whole bit of cliff face snapping into brittle pieces, and then more falling to his death.

He crossed his arms, letting all the blood rush to his head in hopes of that generating a better idea. Instead, he got a headache.

“Well, shit,” he said, succinctly.

Something big shifted, just barely in earshot. Remus didn’t bother looking ahead; it was obvious that the giant he’d been hunting had just figured out how thoroughly the roles had been reversed.

Sure enough, the movements shuffled closer, surprisingly hesitant, and then two huge, glowing eyes peered down at him.

“Come to grind my bones into paste?” Remus asked, genuinely curious. “Or squish all my organs out through my ears?”

Those eyes scrunched up a bit in revulsion, which was hilarious coming from a monster about to kill him. He wiggled his limbs around a bit, ignoring the resulting pain and cracking of brittle rock in favor of hopefully enticing the creature to grab him already. Just hanging around was getting boring.

The breathing above him quickened a bit, and then there was a curved, warm surface under him, lifting slowly until his ankle was no longer carrying all of his weight. Remus considered yanking the injured foot free before the monster could do it for him, but before he could follow through, there was the silhouette of large fingers poking and prying at the rock until it really did crumble away.

The cupped thing he was splayed across had to be a hand too, he realized as he breathed through the sharp jabs of pain from his ankle being released. From the way the townspeople described it, he’d expected something less… human-shaped.

Between his ankle and his head rush, it was no surprise that he blacked out a little.

When he managed to wake back up, they’d returned to a tunnel that led outside, going by the fresh air he could feel against his face. It must have taken the creature a lot more time to make the trip while carrying him.

Whatever it wanted him for, he wasn’t sticking around to find out. He cast around for potential futures-- he rolls out of the grip and smacks his head on stone, he lands on his bad ankle and instantly blacks out again, he waits a little longer and is set on the ground outside by--

“You’re a kid?” he blurted, his vision of a distinctly human, distinctly child-shaped face fading away. The hand under him jolted, and the kid made a startled sniffle.

“You’re alive?” he asked in return, his voice deep and big but also rough with… tears? Jeez, had the kid really been that upset about some asshole bounty hunter biting the dust?

The hand curled in a little tighter around him, one fingertip coming to settle on his chest as though to check that he really was breathing. The motion was gentler than he thought possible for a giant, and he realized fairly abruptly that the ‘terrorized’ people in the town below were full of shit.

He’d hunted this kid for a whole night, and all he’d done in return was avoid him and then save his life. Some ‘monster’.

The kid seemed to remember himself, and flattened his hand back out before shuffling forwards more. There was a subtle shaking running through him, and Remus had the feeling that the kid was going to bolt the minute he set him down.

“Anyone else live up here with you?” he asked, flopping back onto the hand casually. He felt that giant gaze drop onto him and continued casually. “I came up here for a bounty but it turned out the townsfolk are dirty liars. I haven’t seen a single monster.”

There was a little surprised inhale from above him.

“In fact, this place is so nice I might camp here for a while,” he added, waving a hand at the forest ahead lazily. “Make sure to send off any other bounty hunters so they don’t waste their time up here.”

“R-Really?” the kid asked, his tone full of doubt and suspicion.

“Yup! I’ve been told I’m an absolutely detestable neighbor, disturber of the peace, totally unrecommended, zero out of ten,” Remus paused. “But I’m great at getting rid of uninvited guests!”

The kid took that last step out of the tunnel, the early light of dawn spilling over both of them. Remus sat up, waving his fingers in greeting as they both took each other in as more than silhouettes.

Apart from the fact that he was giant, the kid looked like... a kid. An long-limbed, underfed, lonely kid. One with distinct cuff-shaped scars around his wrists and ankles.

Remus shoved down his anger, tore his gaze away from the old wounds, and offered the kid a sharp-toothed grin. The kid tilted his head, wary. That was okay. Remus could handle wary.

“So, what do you say?”

“... Neighbors,” he replied, hesitant and hopeful. Remus cheered obnoxiously.

He was going to have fun making those people regret ever putting a bounty on this kid.

#sanders sides #sanders sides fic #commissioned works #platonic dukexiety #g/t #my writing #ts virgil #ts remus #writing #fbafb #failed bounties and fresh bonds #alternate universe

[embyrinitalics]

An Inconvenience

Read the previous thread here, or jump down the rabbit hole 🕳🐇

In the morning there are hatch patterns all over her legs from the hammock and marks on her cheek from his armor, half her braids have fallen out, and she feels stiff with hardened warpaint. But there’s a soothing breeze, and his arm around her waist is warm, and she might’ve called waking up there pleasant if the sun wasn’t burning a hole in her head—

The sun.

She sits bolt upright with a gasp, trying to untangle their legs from where they’ve entwined overnight. The give of the hammock hampers any real progress, and the harder she thrashes the worse it gets, until her desperate struggle finally culminates in the entire net rolling. She has just enough time to yelp before they’re both deposited in a heap on the ground.

She plants a hand on his chest—it’s shaking with laughter—and he grins lazily up at her as she glares down.

“I said sunrise!” She points desperately at the giant orb glowing in the sky. “Sun!” And when he seems to grasp that, she makes a too-large sweeping gesture up from the horizon. “Rise!”

He reaches up and runs the edge of his thumb against her lip, a soft smirk on his mouth, and says, “Sunrise.”

She growls at him, finally wrenching herself free, and gets up to—well, she can’t get down from the colonnade on her own, so she paces and drops her head in her hands. It’s only then that he seems to notice she’s in real distress, his smirk twisting out of place as he gets to his feet.

“This is awful. Father has to have realized I’m gone by now. He’s probably worried sick, and has the whole team out scouring the jungle for me—”

He tries to placate her, resting a soothing hand on her shoulder, but she bats him away.

“I need to go home, Link! Right now!”

His brow furrows.

“Home?” she demands, but of course that doesn’t help. She digs her fingers into her scalp and they get caught in half a braid. She pats the columns emphatically, gestures at the colonnade, at the great dragon head below, and says, “Link’s home.”

His eyes follow her hands, absorbing everything, and when she waits, he repeats, still frowning, “Link home.”

She points furiously out to the jungle in the direction she hopes the campsite lies. “Zelda’s home.”

His eyes change, but she can’t read them. She holds them another second or so before she throws her hands up and goes back to pacing. But then he takes her hand—warmly, firmly—and tugs her toward their route down from the cliffs, making a beckoning gesture.

“Home,” he says, and it sounds like a promise, and her whole body sags and her lip trembles.

“Thank you,” she whispers, even though it means nothing to him.

He gets her down easily, the way he skips from one place to the next and then catches her as she hops after him not unlike their dance through the treetops the night before. The tribe is already awake, half their number dispersed in the jungle and the rest busying themselves around the lake: sharpening tools, watching children, mending armor, preparing food.

Link stops briefly in the dragon’s maw to get a few supplies. Just beyond the gathering she spies a spring, and a statue of a beautiful woman cast in shimmering light. It’s too ethereal somehow, too sacred, and she has to look away. He has a few exchanges with the others beneath the overhang of stone teeth—his words are clipped, theirs are amused—and as he draws her towards the mouth of the river she hears in a sing-song voice, “Shehsa tahilam yulaiti kihna, Zelda!”

Her ears turn unaccountably red.

He leads her up the river, and where she’s certain they came from the left, he turns right. She beats down the concern that tries to well up. Link knows where he’s going, and she trusts him. Besides, she has other things on her mind.

So it’s very disconcerting when, a few steps later, they’re walking into a pen and she comes face to face with a water buffalo.

“Oh,” she says, watching as he slips leather bands up the animal’s massive horns and flips the affixed reins up over its head. “Oh dear. I don’t think this is a good idea.”

He climbs aboard. All she can do is pout at its bulging shoulder. She’s already a jumble of nerves—thinking of her father, thinking of the chaos that must have ensued back at camp, thinking about how she’s going to have to explain all this—and now her only way back is atop a wild animal that she expects to gore her at any moment. It turns a lazy eye on her, as though it heard. Maybe it will, it seems to say, maybe it won’t.

She allows herself a tiny, defeated huff as she takes his hand and clambers up after him.

He settles her in front of him on its withers, and with a soothing voice and gentle pat, tells it to walk on. Its steps are massive and it sways like the hammock, and she has to dig her fingers into its back to steady herself. But Link’s arms are there, guiding the buffalo with a lax rein, and within a few minutes she’s used to the pendulous swing of the gait and back to worrying about how much trouble she’s going to be in back at camp.

She wrings her hands. He offers her a banana out of his pack. She turns it down. The buffalo snorts, and she wrings her hands some more.

He starts humming. And at first it’s irritating, rubbing beneath the torrent of birdsong like something that doesn’t belong. It’s unfair that he can be so unconcerned at a time like this. But then the hum turns into a murmur, turns into lyrics thrumming like another one of his stories. He coils the reins in one hand and slides the other over one of hers, slipping their fingers together, stroking soothing lines across her thumb with his so her hands can’t worry at each other anymore. Soothing her, the only way he knows how.

It’s... surprising, how well it’s working.

“That’s nice,” she tells him quietly, peering timidly over her shoulder. He gives her a half-smile and keeps on. “I just—well. I’m sure I caused a lot of worry, and I feel guilty about that. And there’s bound to be consequences once everything settles down. And father already doesn’t like you. I’m sure this isn’t going to help.”

He keeps singing. She hasn’t had someone sing to soothe her since she was a little girl—since her mother. She’d forgotten how nice it could be. She’s about to give into it, about to lean into him and close her eyes and let his voice smooth away her anxieties.

But then she remembers the paint all over her legs and her bare middle, and the ludicrous outfit she’s wearing which will scandalize absolutely everyone if she’s spotted, and it all comes flooding back.

Still. The song is nice.

#Legend of Zelda #BotW #zelink #fanfic #Tarzan AU #An Inconvenience #embyr writes

[axther]

internal monologue

TW: main character death, disassociation, derealisation, massive angst, accidental murder, dead bodies, overall a lot of traumacore, and jumping off a cliff (but not to aliven’t). 

Beta’d by @reddriot​ HEHEHHE this was your monster, ze 

This is a paired fic with @ererokii​’s “Pretend I Am”. Please go check her story out as we both made each other suffer while writing it. 

 Venti’s memory was unreliable. He rediscovers this the hard way. 

“Do you blame yourself?” 

Venti had been drinking. He didn’t know for how long, why, when, where. It all blurred together, days, weeks, months. Everyone was talking and his head pounded and the lights made him want to hurl. He was still empty. All those years of sleep and drinking and singing and he still could never fill it. 

He glanced to his side. He almost saw her there. And that’s when he heard it. 

The tavern went dark. It fell silent, and the chairs were empty. 

“Do you blame yourself?” The voice rang in his ears like a bell, one that he dreaded to hear. He remembered his voice. He heard it every day, and wished he wasn’t such a coward that he took on a dead man’s skin. 

“What?” Venti’s voice was quiet. It wasn’t his voice anymore, no. It was his, the Bard’s, and Venti couldn’t even remember the poor bastard’s name. He had given his life for Mondstadt, for Venti, and he couldn’t even be remembered. The Bard’s voice echoed in his ears, and the tavern was caving in. The woman next to him was so soft, so sweet. He could almost touch her cheek, and he reached a hand out. She could pull him out of this, and that gentle smile was so close. 

“It’s quite common in this situation for you to feel some kind of...guilt.” The Bard sounded too calculated. Cold. No, Venti’s Bard was good and kind and whole. This Bard was cruel and emotionless. Empty. 

“What situation?” Venti’s voice didn’t leave his body. Nothing was his anymore. It never was, after all. He was no archon. He was no bard. He stole everything for himself. And something bubbled in his gut. He turned to the other side of him, and the Bard was next to him, with a face of pure, smooth skin. The Bard titled his head, and Venti knew there was a sick smile under it all. 

“The accident.” 

The battle was won. 

Vanessa was talking to some of her colleagues about rebuilding Mondstadt. All those alongside here were giants, not in size, but deep within themselves. Venti knew that he would have to go on, wandering Tevyat soon, in hopes of spreading songs and joy. 

And then, he got a tap on his shoulder. 

“Lord Barbatos?” 

The voice was kind, worn, sturdy like fir and pine and all the things that grow tall and strong. Venti turned, almost jumpy, when he saw a young woman behind him. She was in all words, average. Had he seen her in the street, he would not consider her to be much more than a normal citizen. But the large spear strapped to her back said otherwise;it was enormous, taller than Venti and sharper than even Venessa’s blade. 

“Yes! Hello!” he chirped, getting back his cheery disposition. This wasn’t right. This isn’t what happened. WHAT HAPPENED She smiled at him and bowed slightly. When she looked up into Venti’s eyes, Venti realised she had green eyes. No, blue. Brown? And they were wide, and then almond, and quite suddenly, Venti realised that she was changing, her face not one thing for one second. The world around him started melting, and everyone was laughing, staring at him, staring at him, staring! 

You don’t remember what she looks like!  

Venti felt like he was choking, and he took a step back. He brought a hand up to his neck, and there was nothing there-wait! His hands were gone too! 

Just make something up! 

“Stop!” Venti shrieked, and it was his voice, finally, his true voice, squeaky and terrified. It was all acidic, dissolving and crumbling around him. 

“Wait.” Her voice was quiet, and it broke through the sound and the rage and the horror. “Lord Barbatos. What is my name?” “Wh-what?” Venti gasped, the whole mountainside empty. When was this Dragonspine? It was Windrise before, green and beautiful and now it was just cold, cold, cold, cold, cold. 

“What was my name, Lord Barbatos?” She tilted her head, and now she was panicking, face distorting into nothing but unadulterated fear. “I-I can’t remember, Lord Barbatos! Oh, gods! Help me!” 

“No! No!” Venti tried reaching for her, the world disappearing until all that was left was a pair of the most gorgeous eyes Venti had ever seen. They sat in the snow, lifeless and cold. 

“YN! No! Wait for me!” 

Venti was choking on his own drink when he came to. 

Diluc was shaking him, red eyes wide. Jean was there, the Traveller was there, and Barbara had her healing at the ready.

“Oh my gods,” Diluc whispered, pulling away before sighing and crossing his arms. “We thought you had a stroke.” “What?” Venti’s head felt like it was full of cotton. “I...did I pass out?” “We don’t know.” Jean’s voice was soft, and it reminded Venti of something he couldn’t quite put his finger on. It made his back shiver, but it felt almost like it was being contorted. He was being crushed under the weight of something, something he didn’t know. “You...it was like you were zoning out, or daydreaming...like a nightmare.” 

“Nightmare…” Venti looked down at his mug, seeing his reflection in it. But his heart leapt to his throat and the clock stopped ticking when he saw the Bard behind him. This time, he had a mouth, too wide and filled too full with razor-sharp teeth. Something in his inhuman heart began to quake.

“I need to go.” He stumbled out of the chair, feet hitting the floor too soon. 

Too soon? Like her? 

Venti tumbled out of the bar, almost face planting on the sidewalk as Jean and Diluc called out behind him, barely catching himself before running as fast as he could. The night felt warm, the air was muggy, and he was choking. He ran out the front gates, ran past the birds, the bridge, the rolling hills. His feet ached and his head spun, and nothing could stop him. He closed his eyes, wheezing and praying to whatever god above he could. 

Oh, wait. He was the god people prayed to. 

His running slowed, soft as the air began to cool. A breeze picked up, ruffling his hair, and in the distance, he heard laughter. His eyes were still shut, and for once, he felt...peaceful. He was still walking, but if he listened closely enough, he could hear people walking next to him, chipper and sweet. 

“Well, I think the festival should be called Windblume.” The Bard huffed playfully, skipping a bit in his step. “It’s got a ring to it!” “What do you mean?” YN’s voice was soft, and Venti could almost see her tilting her head. “It’s always been called that.” “Oh.” The Bard’s voice dropped with Venti’s stomach. “That’s right.” “We never met,” YN sighed. 

“We were thousands of years apart.” The Bard finished her sentence. 

“We both…” she began. 

Venti opened his eyes, overlooking Starsnatch Cliff. 

The wind was rougher here, tugging him over to the edge and making his cape whip over his shoulders. There was the taste of blood on his tongue and the smell of it in his nose, and he felt sick. 

“Look down,” The Bard put his hands on Venti’s shoulders, holding roughly and putting his thumbs in the front. “I dare you.” 

“No.” Venti’s heart hurt like it was being squeezed by a vice. “I don’t...I don’t wanna.” “But she’s down there,” the Bard whispered. “All alone.” 

“What?” Venti blinked, taking a sharp breath in. 

“You left her down there.” The Bard sighed, almost sounding like he pitied Venti. 

“No?” Venti felt confused. “She’s...she was…” “She’s dead, Barbatos.” The Bard breathed out, letting go of Venti. “You’re really sick, you know.” 

“What? No!” Venti spun around, feeling lost in the midst of a storm that he couldn’t control. “What are you talking about?” “She hated heights.” Now, the Bard had eyes—deep, like sockets of coal instead of real eyes. No, they stared right through Venti, bore through whatever shadow of a man he once was. “Can you imagine? Her falling in love with the god of the winds?” 

“Stop…” Venti whimpered, and just for a second, when the Bard blinked, she stood there, ominously smiling. Her smile was always so sweet, Venti thought. Sweet, like flowers and the ocean breeze. She loved him so much. 

“And you betrayed her trust, just like that.” The Bard murmured and shook his head. 

“What do you mean? She…” Venti wanted to say that she grew old, and died in Springvale surrounded by their children and grandchildren. But something on the tip of his tongue split his thought in half, making him freeze. 

“She what, Barbatos?” The Bard tilted his head. “Say it.” 

“She…” 

It was a windy day. 

Venti stared over the edge of Starsnatch Cliff with a giddy grin, holding the top of his hat. The drop below was enough to make any mortal man shiver, but he turned to the love of his eternal life and grinned. 

“Hey! C’mon, I promise it’ll be fun!” He jumped up, grabbing YN’s hand and humming. “I swear, nothing bad will happen!” “I…” YN glanced at the cliff’s edge and gulped, slightly pulling away from Venti. “It sounds really dangerous…” “Nah! It’s just gliding for two, after all!” He kissed the tip of her nose, smiling softly. “You trust me, don’t you?” “Always!” Her voice was soft and pleading, looking down to meet his eyes. “But you know how much I hate heights.” “Don’t worry! I promise it’ll be a great experience!” “But what if I fall…?” “You won’t! I won’t let you go!” He was on cloud nine, floating above everything and everyone. YN was right before him, and everything felt right in the world. But then YN sighed again, and pulled away. 

“But…” “But I did.” Venti’s voice was hollow, even to himself, and he watched her spark and pop, a figment of his imagination. 

“You did, my love.” YN sounded so sad, eyebrows furrowing. “Why did you let go?” 

“I…” Tears welled up in Venti’s eyes, his voice cracking. “I didn’t mean to…” 

“But I’m gone, Lord Barbatos.” YN sobbed, covering her eyes with her hands. “I’ve been gone for so long.” “They never found…” Venti choked on his own words, eyes wide and brimming with tears. “They never found your body.” “You told them I ran off, remember?” YN softly wept, before the Bard appeared behind her. He grabbed her hands with a tenderness that only lovers had, and gently pulled them away. YN’s eyes were gone, nothing more than gored out holes in her head. Venti nearly screamed, taking a step back in alarm before realising he was at the edge of the cliff. The wind picked up behind him, and when he turned on shaky knees, he saw a gruesome sight underneath him. 

YN’s corpse was upon the sand, blood staining the grains and flowing out into the ocean. Her blood was so dark that it was almost inky, dispersing into the water without a trace. But it stained Venti, stained his clothes and his hands and his heart. His eyes felt like they were bleeding with her, staring at the rocks that gouged her eyes out when she landed.  Her skull was the worst—split open like a nut and spilling everywhere. The sight was terrible, horrible, heartbreaking and earth shattering. 

“You loved her, Barbatos! You loved her and you killed her!” The Bard cackled. “You let her fall! How useless can you be to kill your own girlfriend?!” 

Venti felt himself swaying. The mocking was too much, and he could hear laughing behind him. Laughing! Laughing! The whole of Tevyat was laughing at him, laughing and weeping and pointing their gnarled hands at him. 

“You should’ve joined her!” the Bard howled above the din. A storm from the sea swept in, nearly blowing Venti away with the wind as he tried to hold on to anything he had left. “You can’t protect anyone! Join her, little god! Join her, and watch her rot in the abyss!” 

It was too much, it made Venti’s ears ring and when he tried to cover them, his hat blew off his head and into the sea. He closed his eyes, praying to get away from whatever waking nightmare this was, but when he opened them, YN’s corpse was right at his feet, blood soaking into his shoes as she blinked and her face contorted into a huge, toothy maw. Everyone’s yelling became one, with the Bard and YN yelling louder than all the others. 

“Don’t leave me, Barbatos!” “Don’t leave her, Barbatos!” 

“Please don’t leave me!!” 

And Venti fell. 

Venti’s tongue stuck to the roof of his mouth. 

He woke up to the sea lapping at the top of his head. He had a splitting headache and the sun shone right in his eyes, making him glower and sigh. For the briefest, holiest moment, he couldn’t remember what he was doing or where he was. He just wanted a nice drink at Angel’s Share and maybe play a nice song for Aether. 

But then he heard the sea, and he remembered. 

A feeling of dread began to overcome him, and when he sat up, his hair was damp and made water run down his back. He knew his cloak was positively soaked and that he had no way of knowing how long he was out for. He just remembered falling, thinking so long as she isn’t alone before passing out. 

He stood up on shaky legs and knew that YN wouldn’t be there. 

Her corpse was only a hallucination, or something of the sort. He knew it, he knew it so well, but the night she appeared, it felt so real. 

Venti hated his relapses. 

He slowly made his way up the beach in haze, and then past Windrise, and he realised without thinking much about it that he was simply making his way to Mondstadt, without truly knowing the way. There was a magnetic pull, one that he almost hated had he not cared so much. His heart bled, oozed, spilled everywhere. But if it bled for Mondstadt, for the Nameless Bard, for YN, then when would it bleed for him? When would he get his turn? 

He stumbled into Angel’s Share and sat on his usual stool. He glanced to his side. He almost saw her there. He looked to his other side, and the Bard stared into an empty mug. He had no face, no eyes, no smile. He was mundane again, with no memory and no song. Venti couldn’t remember YN’s face again, and he wondered, should he look into his drink, if her eyes would be floating there. Someone shuffled next to where YN was sitting, and when he glanced, he saw a young woman in YN’s perfect visage. She was perhaps a little less muscly, and a little more dainty, but when she glanced at him with an annoyed eye, Venti’s blood froze. It was humiliating, and he wondered if somehow, YN’s ghost had come back, reincarnated, to torture him for his sin. 

“Do you have a problem?” The young woman asked. YN turned her head, and Venti could just barely make out her tilting her head before she seemed to quite suddenly disappear. The Bard laughed under his breath, and all of Tevyat mocked Lord Barbatos, the Anemo Archon and Windborne Bard. 

Venti had been drinking. 

#angst! angst! angst!! #venti x reader #genshin x reader #barbatos x reader #genshin impact x reader #i am a menace to society #genshin impact #genshin #genshin impact au #genshin scenario #angst #genshin angst #archon x reader #anemo archon x reader

[allegra-writes]

“Heartfelt”

Bar musician! Harry styles x Bartender!Reader

General audiences

Warnings: None

Just some Valentine's day fluff with our favorite green eyed boy. Dedicated to @gaycinnamonrollgirl for giving me the idea, and @tomsrebeleyebrow for patiently listening to me endlessly gush about Harry Styles and still being my friend. Happy belated Valentine's day 💖

"You don't have to say you love me

I just wanna tell you somethin'

Lately you've been on my mind..."

Adore you - Harry Styles

...Oh, she looks so good, oh, she looks so fine

And I got this crazy feeling that I'm gonna ah-ah…

"Bartender, my good friend! I'll have my usual and a plate of your finest chips, if you would be so kind"

It was closing time when Harry, the local musician, sat in front of you, elbows on the bar you were wiping down while humming to Patti Smith's "Gloria".

You raised an eyebrow at him, but the willowy man could see the slight tremble at the corner of your lips, a tell that you were suppressing a smile.

"I'm afraid the kitchen is closed, mister Styles. Sam left an hour ago."

"Yes yes, but I have it from a very good source he left you a big pile of leftover chips before he did," He accused, "you know, as he does every night..."

You frowned in confusion,

"I thought you hated cold fries. That you found them to be, and I quote, soggy and disgusting" 

"I guess you can say I acquired a taste for them" He shrugged, mischievous green eyes sparkling, "Just like you did for this lowlife songwriter in front of you and the heartfelt conversations you share with him" 

"Did you now?" There was an edge of scepticism in your voice, but you were already disappearing inside the kitchen. 

Harry's heart did a little jump as you didn't immediately deny liking him.

"Hey, Joe" he called out, "why don't you go home? I'll help Y/N close when we're done…" 

There was a deaf noise as a young waiter, the only person left in the bar beside the two of you, set the last chair on top of a table. 

"You sure?"

"Yeah, I got this" he reassured him, "did it dozens of times. Go home to your girl"

"Thanks, mate!" The second brit practically skipped on his way to the backroom, but turned around just before reaching the door. "Listen, you know I like you, but if you hurt y/n in any way…"

Harry smiled, genuinely. He could never get mad at anyone that protective of you.

"You know where I live. Pick my sister on the way, though. I think she would like to join you."

Joe rolled his baby blues,

"I know you're not a creep. I meant her heart"

"Yeah, me too…"

Whatever your friend saw inside Harry's eyes was enough to convince him. He nodded and left, as the musician got up to lock the front door and turn the "open" sign off. 

If you noticed Joe's absence at your return, you didn't comment on it, simply setting the giant pile of chips and two cans of cherry cola you were carrying, down in front of Harry, who had returned to his seat. 

"Ah, you always have the good stuff!" the sigh that left his lips as he took the first sip of the soda was not unlike the one any of your regulars made after the first taste of something strong after a hard day. 

"Rough night?" 

"Kind of. Good show though, so at least I have that going on for me…" 

"It really was, I'm actually impressed" You had to confess, "And surprised too, it was a bold choice going acoustic on a night like this, with such a big audience," So many people had gathered to see the show that the bouncer had to start rejecting people so you wouldn't have trouble with the fire department "but it definitely worked" 

There was a slight blush on the singer's cheeks when he replied, far more humble than you were used to,

"Well, you know, Valentine's day and all that. The band, all have boyfriends and girls they wanted to spend the evening with…"

You tilted your head,

"And you didn't?" It was hard to believe, when almost every night he played there you would see him leave with a different, always sculptural, painfully perfect girl. Or man. 

Harry didn't reply, choosing instead to stuff his face with stale fries.

"Alright then" You raised your shoulder in surrender, "keep your secrets…"

He squinted in disbelief,

"Did you just quoted The Lord of the Rings at me?"

"Did you just recognize my Lord of the rings quote?" You countered.

"You are such a nerd!"

"Look who's talking, chicken little!" You gestured at his powder blue sweater with a yellow baby chick at the front and herringbone pants. 

"Oi!" His manchester accent popped out, like it always did whenever he lost his cool "I'll have you know, this is Gucci"

You scoffed,

"That doesn't make it any better, it just means that you spent a shit load of money to look like my third grade teacher, mister Harrington!" 

"Ok, first of all," he countered, "your teacher sounds awesome and second-"

An inelegant snort escaped your mouth. Harry's emerald eyes pinned you down. 

"Second of all, you're no one to talk either, kitten hoodie" 

You could feel the heat creeping up your cheeks. Praying he couldn't see your blush in the dim light, you took a mouthful of soda to cool you down. 

For a moment, none of you said anything, the sweet notes of Fleetwood Mac's "Dreams" the only thing filling the silence.

… Players only love you when they're playing

Women, they will come and they will go...

"Listen, y/n-"

"If I'm being honest-" 

He chuckled,

"I'm sorry, ladies first" 

"Now I'm not sure if I wanna tell you…"

"Come on" A grown ass man pouting should not be that cute, "I want to know"

You feigned a long suffering sigh,

"Fine, if you must know- If you must know, I actually like your new style. It's way better than that... rock and roll cliche... thing you had going on when we first met" You gestured vaguely in the direction of his body, "You know, the long hair, black clothes, doc boots…" 

He flinched, 

"Ugh, Don't remind me. I was trying too hard back then. And not only with my clothes, with my music too"

"Oh, yeah, I remember. All you used to sing about was" You chose your words carefully, "frisky girls and being horny…" 

"Well, to be fair, I still sing about being horny"

"Yeah, but now you're…"

You trailed off, unsure of how you could explain the difference, the change in your feelings towards his music, without explaining the change in your feelings towards the man that made it.

However, Harry would not let it go that easy. He was used to you being sharp, opinionated, guarded. Now there was a crack on that armour, and he wanted to see what was underneath it. 

You hadn't even realized how close you had leaned into each other until his hot breath fanned over your face.

"Now I'm what, y/n?"

More real. More mature. More emotional, as if he had finally found the link, made the connection between sex and love. 

"More open"

Harry smiled,

"Open. Yeah, I like that…"

So close. He was so close now, his malaquite eyes were out of focus. So close you could feel his magnetic field, the gravity of his atoms pulling in yours.

"Harry…" 

Never in his twenty seven years of life and over ten as a musician, had he heard a more beautiful sound than his name, breathlessly falling from your lips.

"Yes?" He murmured, lips ghosting over your soft, perfect ones.

"No"

"No?"

"No" You repeated, more firmly, taking a step back, putting as much space between the two of you as possible, "I know what this is"

"And what is this, y/n" To your surprise, he didn't sound mad, or demanding. He sounded confused and sad. Dissapointed but unsurprised, as if he had expected it to go south or… never had dared expect it would actually happen at all. 

"A bad idea" You explained, "with guys like you, is always the same: You have beautiful women throwing themselves at you every night. And you take them home with you cause why wouldn't you? You are young, and free and hot. There is nothing wrong with taking what's being offered" 

"Y/n-"

"I'm not saying it's your fault" You went on, ignoring him, "And I'm not saying you don't fall in love, sometimes. But that's the exception, not the rule, and I… I'm the kind of girl that's the rule. Not the exception"

Harry had always thought the worst that could happen to him was losing your friendship. Finally making a move, a real move, and getting rejected by you. He thought that was the definitive pain, the one that would obliterate him, if things were not to work out. And he was almost certain they would not work out. 

But sitting there, in front of you, separated by a wooden bar that might as well have been the great wall of china as you stood there, arms around yourself, small and defenseless as you explained to him all the reasons why you wouldn't allow yourself to love him… that was way worse. 

"What if you already were my exception?" He blurted out, before he could stop himself, "What if I was in love with you?"

You laughed, bitterly.

"Harry, I'm not even your type. I've seen you leave night after night with models and socialites and actors, each one more surreally stunning than the last one…" You didn't have a bad self esteem, you didn't. You considered yourself attractive, but the people Harry usually went for were on a whole different level.

"Yes, but that's only because the most absolutely perfect woman in the world for me, keeps me at arm's length!" He rubbed his face in frustration, "And it's so maddening, so fucked up, the way I can't even get away from her long enough to get over her, because even the pain of seeing her every night knowing I can't touch what I see, that I will never have her, is better than the pain of being away from her. 

So I keep on taking home the hottest people I can find hoping they will keep me distracted long enough to fill the hours until I can see her again… until I can-"

"What the hell are you talking about?" Never, in all the time you had known each other, had Harry given you a single signal indicating he had any kind of feelings for you. Your relationship had always consisted of friendly banter and quip battles. Sure, you could get flirty sometimes, but you were a bartender, flirting was pretty much your customer service voice, and he was a musician, he would flirt with his own shadow if he could.

Harry opened his mouth to explain, but a familiar melody started coming from the still working speakers.

Walk in your rainbow paradise

Strawberry lipstick state of mind…

"Hey, this is my song!" You didn't quite understand why he seemed so marveled, "You never added any of my songs to your playlist before!"

Oh. Oh.

"Yeah, well" Harry could now clearly see your darkened cheeks as you stumbled over your words, "I guessed I never liked one of your songs so much before" 

This time, he was the one blushing and avoiding your eyes.

"What would you say if I told you-... If I told you I wrote this one for you?"

"I'd say you're full of shit" You scoffed, "Didn't you tell me you only ever wrote about girls you had dated?"

"No," he corrected, "I said I only ever wrote about women that had broken my heart…"

"How did I break your heart?"

Harry sighed. Your walls were back up, higher than ever, and he didn't know how to break through them. It wasn't your fault -and had it been your fault, truth was he could never blame you either, there was something about you that made it physically impossible for him to get mad at you- you spoke from experience, he didn't need to unlock the secrets of your past, didn't need the details. It was obvious you had been burned before, and though he hated it, hated them for whatever they had done to you, he couldn't fault you for trying to protect yourself.

Not when he wanted to protect you too. 

"You didn't like me, back when we first met"

"Harry-"

"No, it's ok. You didn't like me, and you were right not to like me. I know you probably didn't realize it but, that first time you rejected me, when I flirted with you that very first night and you rolled your eyes at me… you changed my life"

"What? How??"

"You weren't wrong, I was a cliche. And I was trying way too hard, to be cool, act like a rockstar… but you took a look at that guy, at that though, playboy, sex, drugs and rock 'n roll guy… and you hated him" Harry snickered. You didn't understand what about all that was so funny, "I had created that guy so that everyone would like him, and you hated him. And the funny thing is-" He finally met your eye. No, he caught your eye and imprisoned them, "The funny thing is, you hating me for what I wasn't, somehow allowed me to start being myself a little bit more, because if you already disliked me… then I had nothing to lose" 

You didn't quite know what to say to that.

His bright green eyes were unable to face yours, choosing instead to focus on the palms he was picking at,

"Is that why you… uhm…" You pointed at his sweater.

"Yup" He admitted, "I showed up here one day, on laundry day, in one of my old nerdy sweater vests and you smiled, when you saw it"

"I remember that!" You chuckled, "It was the brown striped one, it almost looked like a crop top, cause it obviously didn't fit anymore"

Harry nodded,

"I may have had a couple grow spurts since I got that in high school" 

"Ok, but, you made it work somehow…" 

"Thank you. The point is…" he turned serious again, his deep, rich voice even more hypnotic than usual. Or maybe it was just you, for the first time allowing yourself to enjoy it without reservations. "The point is, you didn't like cool Harry, but you liked the real me. Even if just a little bit, and that meant the world to me. I… I adored you because of it. So I wrote a song for you, cause even if I couldn't say it to your face, I had to get it out. Just like I had to get this out tonight"

He opened his arms wide, in his typical ta-da gesture, sad, resigned smile on his face, before getting up from his stool, grabbing his jacket and guitar case.

"You don't have to say anything, I don't expect you to love me back" He declared, "I just- I thought I'd let you know. Valentine's day and all that."

He turned to leave, his own voice still signing in the background,

I'd walk through fire for you, just let me adore you

 Oh, honey…

"Harry, wait!" You almost fell on your face, trying to jump over the bar, but managing to stop him right before he reached the door. His poorly concealed smirk told you he might have seen your little show, but you didn't care.

"Did you mean it? That you'd do anything for me?" 

"I did" He confirmed, earnestly, "I still do. Anything you want, just say the word"

"Well then," you took a step towards him, that he mirrored without even noticing, "what about a date? A daytime date. At a public place." You clarified. Harry did smirk at that.

"What's the matter, afraid you won't be able to keep your hands off me?" He teased, leaning closer. 

"Don't ruin this, Styles" You warned, raising to your tiptoes to meet him eye to eye.

His smile faltered, replaced by the most sincere intensity you had ever seen on his handsome face,

"Wouldn't dream of it, bartender" He whispered, before capturing your lips with his.

#harry styles #adore you #harry styles x reader #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles imagine #valentines day special

[couchpotatoaniki]

One Year ❣︎ Two: Plotting and Planning

Chapter Summary: You finally arrive at Jeju Island, but there’s trouble in paradise between you and Dominic.

Pairing: Mafia!San x Fem!Reader Genre: Mafia AU, fluff, angst, eventual smut, lotta crack and stupid shit ngl Chapter warnings: swearing, stalking, cheating Word count: 2.7k+ A 365 Days parody

Previous: Chapter One For the rest of the series, click here

Speech in bold means they’re talking in Korean

Speech in italics is whatever the reader wants their native langue to be that’s not Korean or English

Speech without either means they’re talking in English

You wanted to punch him square in the face.

Dominic was pushing your buttons beyond what you could handle, and you had no idea what had gotten into him.  Never this bad when it came to his attention. Never did he make you feel this annoyed.

Jeju was a nice place--just as beautiful as you had imagined--but the flight was fairly long so none of you went sight seeing the day you landed. Skipped off to the hotel room for some much needed rest, you most of all.

Though you had a weird sense, chills running up your spine occasionally and funny feelings at the back of your head, you tried to shove it aside. Work was not meant to make it’s way while you were all on your holiday.

Not to mention, your boyfriend was talking once again to his colleagues and friends, not paying mind to you as you hauled the rest of the luggage around the large airport and hotel.

You were tired. You felt not normal. He was being a dick.

So it all had started off on the wrong foot. Still time left to change it around, right?

Then Dominic decided it would be great to take up most of the hotel bed--probably because it was so comfy, whereas he only had half of the bed back at home.

Eventually, you were too tired to put up with this behaviour so you got up and walked to Seonghwa’s and Yeosang’s room.

“The fuck, why are you here?” Yeosang mumbled, half-asleep himself.

Caught the rapid pitter-patters of water running in the background, which must’ve been Seonghwa. “How long’s he been in the shower?” You asked since he generally takes quite a long time.

“Just got in,” he answered, moving aside as you pushed through the doorway with a lazy glare resting on your face.

“Good. Stealin’ his bed,” was all you said before flopping onto the nearest double bed--still as comfortable as the king sized you were supposed to share--and knocking out right there on the spot.

Yeosang ruffled his silvery-grey hair, sighing. “His bed was the other one...”

The next day was a little more manageable.

The sleep definitely helped your patience level, though Seonghwa was a little annoyed that he had to share the night with Yeosang.

Granted, when you explained everything in the morning over some food from the breakfast buffet, he understood.

You were like a little sister to him. Sure, he took you under his wing a little less than five years ago, taught you his trade, polished you up to be the best of the best, he still grew fond of you.

An older brother you never had, and acting as such, he was highly sceptical when you brought a boy to the dinner table. Dominic, you had introduced.

Never liked him since. Sucked it up only for you, but his patience too was tested often by comments that were made and outlandish behaviour that was presented. No, Seonghwa didn’t like him one bit.

“Well,” he began, taking a bite of a golden, buttered croissant, “if you start feeling uncomfortable again, just pop over to our room and I’ll kick Yeosang out.”

You chuckled at the thought. “He’ll rip him to shreds.”

“Who? Yeosang or Dom?” Threw a pointed look in his direction, as if to ask him if he actually did just say that. “Okay, okay,” Seonghwa laughed as he almost spat out his orange juice, “I knew you meant Yeosang.”

“Happy birthday, dipshit!” Mingi’s voice boomed from behind, as the rest began to join the two of you. His long arms wrapped around your shoulders as he squeezed you in a bone-crushing hug.

“Happy birthday to you too, douchebag,” you squeaked out. The other boys had settled down, wishing you both a happy birthday--Dominic giving you a little kiss too.

Tried to hold back the smirk fighting its way onto your lips as you saw Seonghwa openly grimacing in your peripheral. “Where were you last night, babe?”

You never particularly liked it, that nickname. ‘Babe’...

“You’re asking that now?” Playfully teasing, though there was a slight hint of venom. None of which he picked up on. “I was with Seonghwa and Yeosang.”

“Really?” Dominic’s brow lifted, the judgement of you spending a night in two other men’s room clearly written in his expression.

“Yes, really,” you replied, less playful since he should have known by now that all of you were strictly friends. Neither passion nor romance was held for either the black-haired clean-freak and the grumpy introvert.

Has never been since you were all like family.

“Okay then,” he sighed, sitting beside you with his plate of a heavy breakfast.

The boys stayed quiet throughout the exchange, noticing everything going on but not saying a word. Knew that you could handle it better on your own.

San, on the other hand, was fuming. Although he was not close enough to hear a word any of you said--not that it would matter since he couldn’t understand it anyway--the boy could see the feelings of annoyance brew in your mind.

Hongjoong had his hand on his friend’s shoulder, preventing him from walking up and doing something he would regret. “Look, you don’t know what’s being said, so just give it a rest and enjoy your toast.”

“Joong, I can’t enjoy my toast, especially if he’s said something that makes her upset. I’ll floor the fucker, I swear--”

“San,” the blur-haired boy warned in a low tone, “eat your toast.”

One of his strengths would be that San knew when to back off. Sure, it came to a much bigger challenge when you were involved, apparently, but he still had listened to his second-in-command. “Fine. I’ll eat it, but I won’t like it.”

Hongjoong had not said another word to him, still pissed off about what his boss had pulled last night. Flying over had drained energy out of him, no matter how many times he did it, so all he wanted to do was to go to the villa, greet Jongho and Wooyoung, and then go to sleep.

That was it.

But no. San decided he had to chase you to this hotel. This hotel which was less luxurious than the villa and the food was sub-par at best. Not to mention he kept pacing about the room that was supposed to be opposite yours and your boyfriend’s, worried how you left the room and went into a different one.

Hongjoong had to stop him from bugging the rooms or even go pounding the door so hard it knocked down.

Seeing his boss and friend like this had him beyond concerned, since this was the first time it’s ever gotten to this degree.

In fact, he was so concerned, he had to update the two other boys about it--without San’s knowledge.

Wooyoung had told him to bring San to the villa as soon as possible--by tomorrow night, no matter what--but the man in question appeared to have other plans.

Throughout the day, San became more calculated in his movements (particularly when it seemed that you were on alert of some strange presence by the side glances you gave in their general direction). “We're going back to the villa tomorrow night.”

To hear that was a bit of a shock, especially when he had planned for the same thing. “What are you gonna do?”

“Sweep her off her feet, of course,” San smirked, devious little cogs in his head turning.

Ruffling his hair as he looked over at you and your friends--sat down in the tent lounge for your celebratory dinner--Hongjoong shuddered slightly at the ominous tone.

Clinking of a fork against glass, Dominic grabbed the attention of everyone, including the bystanders around him. Clearing his throat, he pulled out a piece of of paper with words scribbled on.

“Ladies and gentlemen,” he began, surprisingly in Korean rather than the language you all communicated in--though it wasn’t perfect, he was still trying. San was glad, now able to understand what was being said.

“Today is a special day, because it is the birthday of two very special people. One of which is my lovely girlfriend. So I would like to embarrass her by preparing this speech, to let everyone know this wonderful woman is mine.”

The mafia boss didn’t like that. He didn’t like that one bit.

“I’m so glad you were born, because life wouldn’t have been as fun without you, and you’re certainly very special in not only my heart, but the rest of the boys as well.”

It wasn’t only San who was unhappy about this speech. This wasn’t just your birthday, it was Mingi’s as well, yet he was written off. So, before Dominic could conclude his speech, you stood up, interjecting him.

“Thank you, for that nice speech. But I also want to congratulate my childhood friend, for it’s his birthday today too.” You lifted your glass to cheer the giant. “If it weren’t for you, God knows where I would be, if I would even be alive. You’ve saved my ass more times than I can count and for that, I’ll forever be eternally grateful.”

Hearing you speak such good Korean had--for some bizarre reason--made San’s heart skip a beat of two. Even as your accent shone, the pronunciation was close to flawless.

Yet Dominic was not feeling so proud. Yes, it was Mingi’s birthday too, but that speech was for you. Interrupting him was almost as if you were putting Mingi before him. Before your boyfriend.

As the chocolate cake topped with sparklers was brought out by the staff and people around you started to sing ‘happy birthday’ in Korean (your friends being the loudest), you couldn’t shake off the feeling that you were being watched again. But what was worse, you couldn’t shake the feeling that Dominic was going to do something dumb tonight.

“Excuse me,” you said as you stood up in the middle of dinner, when everything went back to normal.

“And where are you going, little missy?” Yunho asked as he moved his long legs to let you get past.

“Bathroom,” was all you said as you went by, needing to freshen up after feeling so... odd. Confined under the eyes of people you didn’t know.

The night had brought itself a particularly cold wind, rushing past your black chiffon dress. “Crap,” you cursed, “should’ve brought a thicker coat.”

Each turn you made, you became increasingly confused as to where you were. This place was like a damn maze. “Should’ve probably asked for directions too.”

“Are you lost, babygirl?” a deep voice asked you in English, cocky tone evident in the way the words rolled off his tongue. You turned to see the man who had just dared to call you that, ready to thump him in the face with a nearby plant pot, but when you saw his face, a sense of familiarity washed over you.

This was the guy. He's eyes were following you since you came off the plane--you could feel it in your bones.

“No thanks, you replied back in English, “I’m perfectly fine.”

And you turned around, not capturing the devilish smirk growing across San’s face as he watched you powerfully walk off in some random direction, not knowing if it was towards the bathroom.

But he didn’t need to know that, did he?

“Where’s Dom?” Mingi pondered as he looked around, realising it was oddly peaceful in the area.

“Not a clue,” you shrugged, “he’s been gone all night. Disappeared after dinner.”

While Yeosang, Yunho, and Seonghwa went swimming in the hotel pool, hearing their yells of ‘Marco!’ and ‘Polo!’, you and your childhood friend opted for sunbathing on colourful lounge chairs.

“Since when the fuck do you not have a clue? Plus, we all saw how that dickhead was eyefucking that random hoe at the dinner.”

“I really don’t wanna think about it. After all, it’s our birthday and I don’t wanna ruin the mood by thinking of the things he’s probably doing.”

Propping himself on his elbows, he took off his sunglasses to look at you. “Bastard’s cheating on you and you’re not gonna do anything?”

“Oh no, I’m definitely going to bring pain upon his ass like never before, but right now is not the time. Besides, it’s not as if we ever loved each other. And I finally got a good night’s sleep.” You placed your hand over his in a reassuring way, but it did nothing much.

Your response had Mingi biting his bottom lip, worried. “Hearing you talk like that scares me sometimes, ya know?”

“After everything I went through, you still think I’m going to be who I was?” You opened your eyes, peering over at him with eyes so cold that there was only one situation he would see them. “Do you still fucking think with all the shit that the five of us do, I’d still be a person who believes in mercy or love?”

Sighing, he lay back down with his sunglasses covering his eyes once more. “You’re right, it’s dampening the mood. What are you planning to do between now and dinner? Any particular place you wanna visit?”

Contemplating, you hummed as you thought of what to do next. “Maybe visit the stone park? Looked beautiful enough in the pictures,” you sighed, “What do you think? Your birthday too, ya know?”

The tall man shot a boyish grin your way. “Sounds great--”

“Hey!” The two of you turned your head to look at Dominic, who had trudged towards you in flip-flops. When he bent down to peck your cheek, you made no move whatsoever, internally cringing at the feel of his dirtied lips against your skin.

“And where were you?” you inquired, clearly not pleased with this. He hadn’t even bothered to hide the lingering scent of fruity perfume of the random woman he spent the night with.

Though there was something very much off about him since this isn’t something he would do, you will never excuse his disloyal behaviour.

“Oh, I went to Hallim Park. You seemed busy with the rest of the boys so I decided to leave you in peace.”

You took your glasses off, pretending to be pissed off about him going to a place he didn’t actually visit when it was actually about the secret he was trying to hide from you. “Are you shitting me right now? You promised we’d go there together.”

“I know, but I just needed to clear my head for a bit.” He nervously rubbed the back of his neck, no longer looking you in the eye.

“For the entire night?”

“Yes, for the entire night,” he snapped, instantly irking you even more because how fucking dare he?

Sighing, you got out of the lounge chair you were in, licking you lips to calm you down just a fraction before you stab him in the eye. “You know what?”

Each step you took towards him, he took backwards until he was right at the edge of the pool.

You brought you lips right next to his ear, the faint scent of pineapple lingering on your tongue, spotting the hickey hidden under his neck. You whispered, “fuck you,” before pushing him with ease into the pool to create a massive splash.

With steam coming out of your ears, you stormed away back into the hotel as Mingi lay there, laughing.

“That’s my girl,” San chuckled as he watched the scene unfold. He could tell from the feeling of the argument that you were unhappy about your boyfriend not being home that night.

In fact, when the mafia boss first noticed the way Dominic couldn’t peel his eyes away from one of the other women in the lounge last night, he decided to keep tabs on his movements--and thank god he did, otherwise he wouldn’t have found the great evidence that could pull you two apart and thrust you into his arms.

Hongjoong however, was actually somewhat terrified. “That man was twice the size of her.”

“I know. Feisty little lady.”

The blue-haired man looked at him with so much disgust, watching how he was so enamoured by you and a little turned on. No matter how open San was about what he liked in ‘bedroom matters’ both verbally and (unfortunately) physically, he still couldn’t help how grossed out he was.

“Jesus, keep it in your pants,” he grunted.

“Chin up, Joong,” San sighed, strangely gleeful, “we won’t have to stalk around much longer.”

“No?”

“No,” he smiled, “because she’s back with us to the villa. Tonight.”

☕︎ Tag list: @little-precious-baby​ , @sparklychangbin​ ,

#ateez #ateez fanfic #ateez mafia au #mafia au #mafia!san #choi san #san x reader #fluff #angst #crack #hongjoong #kim hongjoong #seonghwa #park seonghwa #yunho #jeong yunho #yeosang #kang yeosang #mingi #song mingi #wooyoung #jung wooyoung #jongho #choi jongho #One Year #One Year series

[honeysucklepink]

A Very Darren Crissmas... my full review

So I have listened to the entire album four times now, and yes that includes the song I swore I'd skip. I recognized some songs, others I had to look up for the composers, and I think I am ready to make a full assessment, track-by-track. Note, I haven't received my CD yet and there may be liner notes that can give me further insight, but for now this is just me and the audio. Without further ado...

1. Happy Holidays/The Holiday Season I mean, I've already listened to this one plenty because this was the first single and the one we got with the pre-order. It's a great classic bop, a Michael Buble, big band jazz number, that would fit comfortably in the background of a luxury car ad featuring a sedan with a giant red bow in a snowy driveway. Great way to open the album, yet doesn't really prepare you for what's next. Which considering the self-professed genre-phile Darren is...it fits.

2. I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas I don't quite know how to describe this one, just that I really, really dig it? It's got sort a groove to it, an alternative indie swag, that makes it sound way different than the traditional kids version.

3. (Everybody's Waiting for) The Man With the Bag The version I'm mainly familiar with is by Kay Starr, from a compilation of Christmas jazz songs I got from Pier One about 20-25 years ago (fun fact, that album gave me my first version of "Baby It's Cold Outside" from Dean Martin). I encourage you to give it a listen. I really enjoyed this cover from Darren and I do love to hear Adam Lambert's jazz voice, which he doesn't utilize often. I still don't like spoken word intros...they just always sound fake and cringey to me...and this is not one that surpasses the Kay Starr version, but I still really like it. Love it when Darren can riff off someone!

4. St. Patrick's Day When I saw this on the track listing, I blanked out... "huh?" Well, Darren is half-Irish after all. It totally slipped my mind that this was a John Mayer song, much less off his Room for Squares album, one of my favorites. But yeah, it's been a while since I've listened and I think the pandemic has done a number on all our memories. When I heard the opening chords it smacked me upside the head and I went "SHUT! UP!" And then the song went on and to quote Angelica Schuyler, I realized three fundamental truths at the exact same time: 1) in spite of the title this really is a Christmas song, in the same vein that Die Hard is a Christmas movie, 2) Nashville has the finest session musicians in all the land, and 3) I need Darren to cover all of John Mayer's songs.

5. River So, after the wonder and amazement of the previous track, I see that "River" is next, and we all know the original Joni Mitchell version, the Sarah McLachlan version (which was my introduction to the song, courtesy of an ER episode), and of course for us Gleeks, the Rachel Berry version. So when I say that my response to the opening horns and chimes out of a Ronnie Spector number was a combo of the memes of "blonde woman staring into space confusedly as mathematical equations float around her head" and "angry Karen ripping down her curtains," not to mention I was DRIVING at the time, I'm sure there were many concerned drivers wondering why this woman was screaming WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS? and afraid I would skid off the road. "River" is full of heartache, and melancholy, and loss, and you turned it into a 60's mod bop? I sat there, trying to keep the car on the road, thinking it has to, HAS to get better. I was sitting through it like the 15 minutes you have to wait after a Covid shot, like driving past where a skunk was run over, like holding your breath after someone farts on the elevator. And it ended with a weird Warblers-does-the-Beach-Boys finish.

This makes it sound like the worst thing ever. Well, it's not. Not like Will Schuester leading a bunch of teenagers singing "Blurred Lines." But I've listened to it each time since, knowing what's coming, approaching it in a different light. But honestly? It still doesn't really work for me. I can ignore the lyrics, but even then, the melancholy I spoke of is right there in the melody and the key. I won't skip it, but I'll turn it down and engage in family conversation more when this track is on.

6. Welcome Home I did not recognize this song when I first heard it, and it took me a while to research it, but I see it has special significance to Darren! "Welcome Home" is from the 1954 Broadway musical Fanny, which in 1997 was produced by 42nd Street Moon in San Francisco and was his first professional role. The song has about as much to do with Christmas as "My Favorite Things," but since a recurring theme around the holidays is one of homecoming and reunion, the song actually fits. I was wondering why he was singing to the floor and the lamp and the chair, but I'm guessing it makes more sense in the musical.

7. All Those Christmas Cliches Another song that's new to me, maybe not to you, but I can relate. As he points out, he's spent Christmas in a lot of unconventional locations, but sometimes craves the conventional, Hallmark-card traditions. I've lived in the South all my life. I think I have literally had TWO white Christmases in all my life, and in both cases most of the snow had melted off by the afternoon.The last several years, thanks to climate change, has been short sleeve and flip flop weather, but even before that, we sang songs containing snow with more than a hint of irony. And to be honest it goes past that. Ever had a Christmas where your family decides "hey, let's do gumbo instead! Or spaghetti!" and all you want is turkey and stuffing and cranberry sauce and fruitcake? Okay, I've gone on a tangent... back to the song, which is swinging and fun and everything you want in a Christmas song AND season.

8. The Christmas Song This was the song I was really excited about. It's one of my two all time favorite Christmas songs, and the Nat King Cole version is a classic (adding this other video because the animation is cute and made me cry). I do have a warm spot in my heart for Kris Allen's cover and the Vince Guaraldi Trio version from A Charlie Brown Christmas. But after the debacle of "River," was Darren about to disappoint me again? Very happily and relievedly, he did not. This version is gorgeous, the guitar is warm, the strings as they come in feel like an embrace, the vocals are lovely. This is sitting by the fire with warm cider and snuggled with the person you love, and is now in my top three (sorry, Kris).

9. Somewhere In My Memory Okay, confession time. I don't think I've ever seen Home Alone all the way through. I know, it was the biggest movie that year but to be fair, I've still never seen Titanic and only just saw The Princess Bride two years ago. Yet as this song played I sat there thinking "this is totally from a movie, probably a 90s movie," and I was right. The incomparable King of Movie Scores, John Williams composed this, and I'm betting Darren and guest vocalist Evan Rachel Wood, as middle Millennials, were heavily influenced by Home Alone as a childhood movie the way us Gen Xers hold Rankin-Bass specials in our hearts. Their voices are sweet and lovely and blend nicely together. While I don't have the same emotional connection to the film or the song, you can hear the connection they have. Somewhere in their memories, I'm guessing *wink*.

10. Drunk On Christmas I know Darren can sing country because I've heard him cover Tim McGraw. And I will forever be sour that Glee didn't do more country in general (oh the Blam duets we could have had with a little twang to them). I absolutely LOVE this song! Darren wrote a great one that could easily have been on country radio (in my DJing days, before 9/11 ushered in the awful jingoist "bro country" era). Who knows, it could still be on the playlist when the radio stations switch over to holiday playlists after Thanksgiving. Now the one thing some may complain about is that he's not truly front and center on the song. That honor goes to Lainey Wilson (I'm a terrible country music fan because I'm not familiar with her work). But she's just awesome and she and Darren's chemistry is as sweet as hot cocoa spiked with schnapps. I will definitely be playing this alongside Dolly Parton's "Hard Candy Christmas," Willie Nelson's "Pretty Paper," and Robert Earl Keen's "Merry Christmas From the Family" this season.

11. Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas This was the other one I was excited about, just not quite as much as "The Christmas Song" only because we've heard him do a little of this song, albeit as Blaine. This is my other favorite Christmas song. My favorite version is from Chrissie Hynde and The Pretenders, with an honorable mention to John Denver and the Muppets. I'm adding Darren's version to the pantheon. This is simple, classic, just him and the guitar. It's all the song really needs. And thank you Darren for keeping "we'll have to muddle through somehow," from when Judy Garland sung it in Meet Me in St. Louis, because the whole point of the song is the hope that it will be merry, even through hard circumstances (see: my review of "New Year").

12. New Year Another song I was unfamiliar with, written by Regina Spektor, I'll cut to it... this made me cry. I don't think this was the reason he covered it, but I couldn't help but think of his mom, and how last year was the first without her husband, Darren and Chuck's dad. The second time I heard it I was in the car with my Mom, after visiting Dad at the skilled nursing unit, wondering if he'll be home for the holidays or ever again. I tried to keep the tears back for her. The third I was driving back to my house, and thinking of all the needless loss over the last two years, how many people's new years will be like that. Trying to think of the good things brought to us and not the things and people taken away. Even when you hear of the roar across the island from Times Square, you also think of the bells, pots and pans that would ring out as tributes to the medical personnel and essential workers at the start of the pandemic. "She sets her alarm" could easily be a doc or nurse, not wanting to miss the NYE countdown but also exhausted from another shift. Every year feels worse, and yet we go into every new one hoping it will be better. The eternal foolish optimist in all of us. I can't imagine a better way for Darren to close out a holiday album released in 2021.

Overall This is a solid holiday album, one that as Darren described is very him, and while yes I pray for the day we get a full album of all his own music not tied to a holiday, this at least has some tracks that span the year, and I look forward to having this in my regular rotation along with my Christmas music from John Denver and the Muppets, Charlie Brown, Emmitt Otter, Glee, A Very Special Christmas, and others.

#darren criss #a very darren crissmas #album review #christmas music #holiday music #added a BUNCH of links #figured I'd share OGs and favorite covers