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morgana-larkin · 21 days

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Me againnnn lmao I have another request could u do Melissa x reader where reader is normally quiet but someone brought up their special interest and everyone is kinda weirded out coz reader gets so happy and starts talking about it and sharing facts and stuff but no one except Melissa knows reader is autistic and someone says something mean to reader and she gets upset and Melissa comforts reader and also stands up for her (as always no pressure I’m so so so happy! u r the first person that iv come across who writes fics about Melissa and autistic reader I get so happy when I see a notification from u i literally jump up and down with happiness and your fics really help me to accept im autistic coz I’m still trying to come to terms with it anyway hope u r doing well🫶)

OMG YES! Info dumping! I love it. And I’m so glad my fics are helping you. Feel free as well to message me directly if you ever want. So my other obsession besides Lisa Ann Walter, is Doctor Who and Jodie Whittaker, so of course I chose to have the reader talk about her as the Doctor… I regret nothing 😊. I went a little extra at the end but I’m too gay for Melissa to care. Anyway, I enjoyed writing this so thank you for the prompt and I hope you like it! As always, not edited in the slightest.

For everyone, feel free to keep sending me prompts, and I was thinking about writing a one shot about Cheesy as there’s not enough imo. Let me know if I should or not.

Title based off the song from Shrek 3 and the Italian word stronzo means asshole.

Thank You for Letting Me Be Myself

Warnings: someone is mean to reader, reader struggling with having autism(small part)

Words: 2.3k

You’re sitting in the break room at the table with Barb and Melissa. You get up to get a coffee and when you do you hear someone starting to talk about Doctor Who and you perk up.

You turn around to see Jacob, Mr. Morton and another teacher talking about it. “You guys watch Doctor Who?” You say and they stop talking and look up at you. Normally you’re quiet and don’t really say much as you’re recharging before you go and have to teach your kiddos again.

“Yes, do you watch it?” Jacob asks you and you nod with a big smile. Melissa looks up at you and sees your smile and she can’t help but smile herself. She’s had a crush on you since about 4 months after you started and it’s almost been 9 months that you’re working here.

“Well come here and share your thoughts about it.” Jacob says and you walk over to them, coffee in hand.

“What exactly is your discussion about?” You ask them.

“About the first female doctor, the 13th doctor.” Mr. Morton says and you keep smiling.

“She’s my favourite doctor! Like she’s so enthusiastic and passionate and she just loves everything about what she does! And she’s so funny too, it’s just a joy to watch Jodie play her!” You start and they look at you confused, wondering why you’ve always been quiet but now you’re talkative.

The truth is, you're autistic and the only one that knows is Melissa and she promised not to tell anyone since it’s your secret not hers. You told her because you felt like you kept missing social cues or taking things too literally, so you wanted someone in your corner to help you and she had no problem doing that for you. She looks at you talking so passionately about your favourite show with a smile and heart eyes before going back to her phone, secretly still listening to you.

“And her Tardis is so amazing, oh and her companion’s compliment her so well, and her outfit looks amazing. Did you know that Jodie helped decide on the outfit to support the LGBTQ community since she’s a huge ally. And also…” and you keep going on for about 5 minutes about how much you love the 13th doctor and her era on Doctor Who. Until the other teacher, you don’t know their name, the one Mr. Morton and Jacob were talking too, says something.

“OMG! Would you please shut up!” He says and you quickly shut your mouth. “I preferred it when you didn’t speak at all.” He says, glaring at you. And you look down at the ground, embarrassed before running out of there.

Melissa looked up when he started speaking and is now getting up and walking over to them. “Hey! Don’t talk to her like that. You should count yourself lucky that I won’t contact one of my guys on you.” She says and looks at Jacob. “Why didn’t you say anything?!?” She says to him “or you?” She says to Mr. Morton.

“Sorry Melissa, it all happened so fast.” Mr. Morton says and Jacob nods in agreement.

“You should be ashamed of yourself!” She says to the teacher that was mean to you.

“Hey, we were just sitting here talking about it until she cuts in and starts talking about everything that we weren’t even discussing. And she wouldn’t stop talking.” The teacher says , only making a deeper hole for himself. Melissa glares at him.

“I don’t care what you think! There’s better ways to do that!” She says to him.

“She shouldn’t have talked so much and knew that it was too much.” He says, still trying to defend himself.

“She’s autistic you stronzo!” She yells at him and then realises that she just told your secret and has wide eyes. All 3 of them look at her speechless, now understanding that you got excited and were info dumping and didn’t mean to talk so much. Melissa turns around and walks out of the break room and goes to find you.

She ends up finding you in your classroom crying on your chair, hugging your legs. She knocks on the door, “hey y/n it’s me, just wanted to come check on you.” She tells you.

You get up and unlock the door then open it. Melissa’s heart breaks a bit when she sees you. Eyes puffy, red and watery, tear stained cheeks and red nose from you blowing your nose.

“Oh hun.” She says and you walk back to your chair hugging your legs again. Melissa walks in and closes and locks the door then walks over to your desk. “Hey, he was an ass, he shouldn’t have said that to you.” Melissa tells you and crouches down and you look at her.

“No, he’s right, I was talking too much. I shouldn’t have gotten involved in their conversation. I just got so excited,” you tell her and you sniffle a bit.

“Hun, it’s understandable, I know how much you love Doctor Who. You have nothing to be ashamed about.” She tells you and grabs your hand. “Btw I might have accidentally told them that you’re autistic. As in I told them and called that teacher a stronzo for you.” She tells you. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for it to slip out, I just got angry that he was mean to you.” She says, rubbing your hand with her thumb.

“It’s ok, they would have found out eventually. But this is another reason I don’t engage in conversations, cause I might talk too much.” You tell her. Melissa gets up and opens her arms out.

“Come here.” She tells you and motions to hug her. You put your feet down on the ground and then hug her waist since you’re still sitting in your chair. “Why don’t we go back in there, finish lunch. And then after school you can come to my place and I can make you some food and we can watch whatever you want.” She suggests and you look at her surprised.

“Really?” You ask her and she nods. “I would love that.” You tell her and she smiles. She helps you up and then unlocks the door and opens it for you. You both walk out and she sees you’re nervous about going back. She puts an arm wrapped around your back and her other hand on the arm closes to her and rubs it, providing comfort for you.

You get back in and when you enter everyone stops and looks up at you. Melissa can feel you immediately tense up. “What are all youse looking at?” She says and glares at everyone. Everyone immediately looks back down to their phone or food and continues what they were doing. Melissa leads you back to the table where Barb is and Barb gives you a comforting smile.

The teacher that was mean to you gets up and comes over to you. Melissa sees him coming over and glares at him, almost daring him to hurt you again. He has his head hanging a bit, looking embarrassed and stands beside you and you look up at him.

“Hey y/n, I just wanted to apologize to you. I shouldn’t have said what I said to you, I’m sorry.” He tells you and you nod your head at him. You’re too overwhelmed right now and can’t speak. You finish your lunch without saying another word and Melissa keeps glancing at you, worried about you.

You finish up the day quietly. You get the kids to work on their book report so that it’s silent and you don’t have to talk much. At the end of the day, when your last student was picked up you glance over at Melissa down the hall. You taught first grade so your classrooms are close together.

You can’t help but stare at her. She’s bending over and offering one of her students a high five before waving bye to them to go with their parent. You decide to leave now while she’s distracted, you think that maybe it wasn’t the best to get Melissa involved in your situation and shouldn’t have told her you’re autistic. So many people have had to accommodate you or help you and you feel like you should be able to do it yourself now that you’re an adult.

Melissa sees you look at her with a sad expression on your face before leaving. She can’t help but feel like maybe you won’t come over to her place now. When her last student is leaving with their parent a couple minutes later, she practically books it to the parking lot but sees your car is already gone.

She drives home and gets to work on cooking dinner, hoping you’d show. But then she gets a text from you saying that you won’t be able to make it tonight, and she sighs. She researched autism when you told her a few months ago and she knows that when autistic people get overwhelmed, they hide themselves away. She offered for you to come to her place to de-stress with food and tv, so she does the next best thing. After she finished cooking, she packed it into a container, and brought it with her to your place. She went and knocked on your door.

You answered it not too long later with leggings and loose shirt on. “Melissa? What are you doing here?” You ask her.

“Well since you won’t come over to my place, I thought I’d come to you.” She says with a warm smile and you now feel even more guilty for cancelling on her. “I brought over food I made. So either we can eat here or we can go back to my place. Choice is up to you.” She tells you with a shrug. You decide to go to her place and when you get there she gives you your favourite hoodie of hers and you sit on the couch. You’ve been to her place before and you told her that the plastic felt weird to sit on and she removed it the next day so that you’re comfortable when you go there. “Hey, you don’t have to speak but I just want to know that you’re ok.” She says and you nod. She gives you a plate of the food and you see that it’s her spaghetti and meatballs dish. Your favourite food of hers and you smile at her. She joins you on the couch, sitting next to you and then hands you the remote so you can decide what to watch, you decide on Shrek 3.

You watch the movie while eating, with Melissa right next to you, you in her hoodie, and you finally feel like you’re calming down. You put your head on her shoulder after you put your empty plate on the coffee table and she wraps her arm around you. You continue the movie, quoting some of the lines, and when it plays the ending scene with puss and donkey singing thank you, Melissa gets an idea. She guides you up and leads you to the empty space beside her couch and starts dancing with you. When the chorus comes on she sings it to you “I wanna thank you for lettin me be myself…again” She sings and you laugh. When she says the line again, she spins you while singing. The second chorus comes up “come on sing it with me.” She tells you.

The both of you sing it while dancing “I WANNA THANK YOU FOR LETTIN ME BE MYSELF…AGAIN.” You both sing at the top of your lungs. When it ends you’re both laughing and she hugs you.

“Thank you for letting me be myself.” You tell her and she looks at you with a warm smile and places a lock of hair behind your ear before cupping your cheek.

“It’s not a problem hun, it doesn’t matter to me that you’re autistic you know. You just think differently, and that's alright.”

You look in her eyes and you lean forward and kiss her. Melissa kisses you back and moves her hand from your cheek to the back of your head and places her left hand on your waist. You pull back and look at her with a smile.

“You kissed me back.” You say to her and she nods. “Why?”

“Because I like you. I have for a few months now.” She tells you.

“For how long?” You ask her and she thinks about it.

“Around the new year.” And you look at her in shock.

“But that’s after I told you I was autistic.” You tell her, putting the pieces together. “You knew I was autistic and you still like me?” You question her.

“How would you being autistic make me not like you?” She asks you, confused.

“Because I’m different than other people and have struggles because of it.” You tell her like it’s obvious.

“So? Everyone is different in their own way and everyone has their own struggles.” She tells you. “For example, I have trouble letting people in, because of trust issues. And I can have a short temper too.” She says and you look at her with so much love in your eyes. You kiss her again and she doesn’t hesitate to kiss you back.

When the person says “you may kiss the bride” , she doesn’t hesitate to give you a kiss then either. With a huge smile, she brings you closer to her and gives you a kiss, as wife and wife.

Taglist: @esposadejoyhuerta

@imaginesmultifandoms

@idonothingalldays-blog

@sexysapphicshopowner

@dvrkhcld

Let me know if you want to be added! 🙂

#melissa schemmenti x reader #melissa schemmenti x oc #melissa schemmenti x you #melissa schemmenti #x reader #fanfic

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starbabyg · 7 months

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Just reread picture perfect againnnn, i love it so much.

I just think of y/n being sooooo obsessed with jack, like she is utterly enthralled with him.

They definitely are a hugeeee pda couple, his hands are always on his perfect girls hips, tummy anyway here can get his hands on.

She just constantly wants to be kissing her man, leave them alone for a second and they’re making out. Jack loves to kiss her neck, loves marking her up.

Obsessed with each other to say the least

No really!! Y/n would do anything for Jack she loves the boy so much. But as much as y/n loves Jack he loves her ten times more. He’s such a lovestruck puppy for her.

Y/n always gets a bit airheaded (I hope y’all know what I’m meaning lol) around Jack due to how much she’s obsessed with him. Like those people who are floating in the air when they smell something delicious lmfaoo.

She’s always having her arm intertwined with his, looking up at him so amorously as they walk. Jack always has to tell her to watch where she’s going cause she’s so focused on him she forgets her surroundings. She has bumped into her fair share of poles before. He thinks y/n is clumsy but it only happens around him because Jack is all she thinks about.

Honestly it’s a bit gross how much PDA y/n and Jack share. They’re the type of couple that you’ll see laughing and making out in the side alley of a bar. They don’t care who’s watching because to them they’re the only two people in the world. They show love to each other anywhere and anytime. Y/n isn’t afraid to pepper Jack’s face with kisses in front of everyone in a restaurant. And Jack will grab y/n and spin her around before pulling her into the biggest kiss ever, anywhere he thinks is romantic.

Their friends honestly hate them just a little bit. At every party the two are just up on each other. It always starts with y/n on Jack’s lap, just giggling with y/n poking his face. Then Jack whispers something in her ear, which she smiles at before hiding her face in his neck. He kisses her hair and chuckles at how bashful she gets. Later in the night the two are in a secluded hall together, y/n propped against the wall talking before Jack closes the space between them and kisses her roughly. He’s drunk enough that he needs to kiss y/n that’s how gorgeous she is to him right now. He just can’t stop kissing her, his hands roaming everywhere on her body that he can touch. If they weren’t in the hall of the party he could’ve taken her right then and there. Jack’s hands make their way up under her shirt, and y/n has to stop him before he gets too frisky. Y/n pulls him into the bathroom so they can finish what he started.

Y/n and Jack just love each other so fucking much it makes me lovesick ugh. Loved this inbox nony 🤍 Thank you for loving my fic so much it makes me so happy 🫶🏽

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rainingcatsandjune · 7 days

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hi i just wanted fo tell u that ur design for Sam is ABSOLUTELY SCRUMPTIOUS. AND YOUR ARTSTYLE IS SOOOOIHHH MY GOD. I LOVE U N UR ART UR SO AWESOME DUDE!!!!

obligatory samster doodle ^^^^

OH MY GOSH THANK YOUUUU FOR THIS ASKK OMLLL ADHFK I LOVE U TOO 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹 everytime i post a new piece and i see your user interacting with it im like AAA HE'S HERE AGAINNNN /POS 🥹

thank you sosososoosos much for the support !!!! and for enjoying my rendition of the sam !!!!!

#asks #redacted sam #my art #redacted audio #sam collins #god ive said this a billion times BUT SERIOUSLY!!!#THANK YOU!!!!#RHAHSFGDJKHJF #id also like to thank jacob lurking for love for the inspo RAHDFSHFGDS #SOUTHERN MEN IN PLAID FLANNEL.

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harveysweakness · 7 months

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Okay hi it’s me AGAINNNN 😌 I was wondering if eventually you could write something where reader and Harvey (who are literally the best of the best at what they do) both work at different firms and they have to go against each other in court for a really big case. Anyways reader is Harvey’s wife who’s pregnant and goes into labor at the court house. Happy ending please 🙏.

A/N: I am so sorry if this is not what you had in mind- it's not as fluffy of a fit but I guess it's something! I can always write the same request a different way in the future :)

"Okay, let's go over it one more time," Mike said, staring at the file of key arguments in front of him.

"You do know you work for the opposite firm, right?" you chuckled, taking a deep breath in and out. You couldn't quite explain it but something had been... off... today. Granted, you were 37 weeks pregnant so you pretty much always felt off but this felt different.

"Just say it," the young partner responded.

"Okay, so- your client clearly had no idea what he was-" you paused, gasping at the sharp pain in your lower abdomen, hand coming to rest at the low curve under your bump.

"Hey, Y/N, you okay?" Mike questioned, not even hiding the panic in his voice. No one could blame him, he certainly was not experienced when it came to pregnancy.

"It's just Braxton-hicks," you muttered, teeth clenched while you took deep breaths in and out. You tried to think of someone at the firm who was in court who had had a baby who could confirm that, but no names came to mind. Hating that you were about to say it, you groaned internally. "Get Harvey."

That was all Mike needed to hear before genuinely sprinting from the room.

----

"Mike, you were supposed to be here thirty minutes ago," Harvey greeted angrily.

"I was with Y/N, she-"

"You mean to tell me you were with the opposing team!?"

"No, Harvey, she's in pain, she needs-" Mike panted.

That's all it took for you husband to be racing out the door, thankful Mike had yelled 'across the hall- chamber- while he sprinted.

By the time your husband had made it into the room, you had been able to stand, the pain in your pelvis a small ache compared to what it had been. You were breathing steadily, your hand still holding a small portion of the weight your daughter added to your frame.

"Sweetheart, what-"

"I'm fine," you murmured, "I'm sorry I panicked, I just didn't- I haven't"

"You haven't been pregnant before," Harvey finished. "Neither have I, so I'm not much help."

You laughed, even the small action causing a small ache. He must have seen the expression on your face because he came to cup your cheek.

"Are you alright?"

"I think so," you replied softly. "I must have just been working too hard on the trial."

"You should be at home resting."

"You know perfectly well that I can handle a trial against you," you replied cheekily. It wasn't a secret that you were both two of the top lawyers in the city, and the trial certainly would be a show for all who were watching.

"So we're not having a baby girl?" your husband asked, his hands gently holding your rather large bump.

"Not yet," you corrected with a smile.

"Then I've got to get back," Harvey said sadly, before lowering and pressing a chaste kiss to your bump.

"Did you ever think I did this just so you had less time to prepare?" you smirked.

"Sweetheart, you wouldn't dare."

-----

"No further questions, your honor," Harvey announced, lips twitching at the thought of winning his case after the arguments he had given.

You stood. "Your honor, if you will just allow me to question-" you paused, both your words and your steps as the same sharp pain from earlier hit.

"Ms. Y/L/N?" the judge asked.

"Sorry, I-" you couldn't finish, needing to lean against the table for support, gritting your teeth. "I need-"

"Y/N-" Harvey said gently, rising.

"Harvey-" you paused, feeling a wetness spread down your legs. The pure shock on your face while you looked down was enough of a sign to your husband.

"Oh my god, she's in labor," Harvey muttered, Mike going pale next to him.

"Labor?"

"We're going to pause the trial," the judge announced. Even he had no idea what to do. He certainly had never, in all his years seen a defense and prosecuting team of lawyers be married and close to having their first child while in a court room.

Your husband came to rub your back while you still stood hunched over the desk. "What can I do?"

"I don't know," you whispered, the realization that you were having a baby overwhelming every fiber of your being. "We don't even have a bag packed for the hospital."

The two of you had been non-stop for nearly two months, working on opposite sides of what would be on the of the biggest trials the city had ever seen.

"Yes, you do," Mike interrupted. "Donna's had it packed for weeks."

Tears fell down your cheeks out of relief and gratitude.

"God, I love that woman," Harvey murmured, helping to turn you around towards him. "You can do this, sweetheart." He gently cupped your cheek and wiped your tears with his thumb.

You nodded, taking a moment to lean your forehead against his chest, the smell of his cologne comforting you.

"Are you ready?"

"As long as you swear you won't leave my side," you whispered.

"Never."

#harvey specter #harvey specter imagine #harvey specter x reader #suits #Harvey specter x femreader #mine #suits fanfic

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caemidraws · 1 year

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[Vassago as the Death tarot for @lesserkey]

#aesthetic #fashion #tarots #ocs #comms #thank you so so much againnnn

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zedrine · 6 months

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hi, it's the anon who first requested that sunny reverse comfort! .. i have come back again..!!!!

can i request for a sunny from omori x reader doing pocky game (established relationship!!)

can be post game if you'd like! thank youuu <3

Z.2 — pocky game w/ sunny >:D

PAIRINGS : SUNNY x Reader

WARNINGS : none!! :D

DESC : mentioned at the top! <3

NOTES : ENDJGJENSBCBFKE HI AGAINNNN

You popped into the room, jolly as you held a Pocky box behind your back, “Suuunnnn?~”

He sighed — “Yes?” — he shot up a glare at you, frowning, he was busy writing down his essay for school.

“Can we.. play a game, please?” You softly grinned, hoping he’d get off that paper he’s been working on for, I don’t know, maybe two hours?

Sighing once more, SUNNY responded, with frustration, “Fine.”

“Oh–” you didn’t quite think he’d agree so quickly.

Both of you then sat on the couch as you revealed the Pocky box — “Oh, God,” he rolled his eyes, “Kel, right?”

You smirked as if you were a Kel dupe, “Yes, he told me to do it with you,” you nudged his shoulder jokingly as you opened the box, then the packaging, “he told me you’d enjoy the game!”

“I don’t like that [favorite flavor] one,” he blandly stated, quite cruel and direct if you asked me. “Oh, hush!” You took a Pocky stick out; you would get the flavor part and he the bread.

“So…?” he looked at you, begging for instructions of the game with his eyes.

“Okay, so—” that’s a lot of so’s, “—both of us have to slowly bite our way through the Pocky, but, whoever accidentally bites the Pocky off or gets to the middle first, loses.”

“What if we kiss?” he asked; you stayed silent.

You tried your best to suppress a smirk, grin, smile. How could one be so naïve?

“Anyway,” you said — a chuckle let out — as you pointed the Pocky between your mouth and his, again, you had the flavor part, “good game.”

The game started; both of you started nibbling on the Pocky, you looked up at him, but he only looked at his distance in the Pocky.

Then, it broke!

“Dang it– YOU did that!” You pointed at SUNNY, who stared blankly at you, “No,” he mumbled.

“Ugh,” you rolled your eyes, “whatever.” You took another Pocky stick, this time, cruelly and tauntingly, he had the flavor; “You must hate me, don’t you?”

“Hush,” you aligned the stick again, then the game began again. Nibble, nibble, both of you were close to the middle, then–

In just a mere moment, the stick disappeared — you were kissing him!

The kiss, surprisingly (as you thought he’d pull away immediately), lasted for long… long… and long…

“Pweh!” he exclaimed — ouch — as you retorted, “Uhm, excuse me??” Offended you were, how could he say that, to your perfectly lip-glossed lips? :(

“Sorry, sorry,” he wiped his lips, “the Pocky flavor—” but only because his saliva slightly dripped out from his cough, “—I don’t like it, I told you.”

You sighed; well, at least he was honest, “Yeah, whatever.”

You took another Pocky stick; he had the bread part.

Game started, nibbling, the room was quiet. Cold.

But, as an apology, he nibbled quite faster, so he got to the middle first to lose, willingly — “Haha!” you chortled triumphly; he smiled, a rare sight, but you failed to notice.

“I’m good at this game~!” You proudly reveled, reaching down for another stick, but, just then, his hand held yours (the hand you’re using to get the sticks, by the way.)

“Hm?–”

You looked up, but then he leaned in, much further than he planned to; kiss count, number two.

But this time, it was shorter, yet more passionate that the previous one — heartfelt, or maybe it was because he was the one who initiated it?

Nevertheless, he felt, quite strange too. Dear Sister, please help… he prayed in his head, help, help help!!!!

Blood came rushing to your cheeks — mostly his, though, he kept his head down — “Sunn?”

He breathed shallowly, Crap, he thought, “Y-Yeah?”

He kept his head down, his dandruff was showing — no, no, just kidding — embarrassed by what he’d done. You were still in shock from the sudden kiss, that you accidentally stayed silent.

“S-Sorry,” again, he apologized, thinking he caused the tension in the air. (Man, I just wanna hug him so badly)

You exhaled through your nose in relief, “Heyy,” you lifted up his chin, but he averted eye contact, “it’s okay, I’m sorry…”

You cupped his cheeks, then gave him quick, big pecks everywhere on his face, to his dismay, he kept yelling; “Stop!–” mwah, “–you taste like–” mwah, “[the flavor of the Pocky]!!” mwah.

You then stopped the kissing, pouting, “Oh, so you don’t like my kisses?” still cupping his cheeks as you stared right into his soul.

“No, no, I didn’t mean that…” He murmured, leaning into your palms, and caressing the back of them. Still avoiding looking in your eyes, though, even after all those verbs.

Softly, you kissed his forehead, “I love you too~”

He responded to that, but only I knew — “I love you more,” he whispered, or mouthed, but you didn’t hear.

JANXBDJAKSJDRNNDD im soooo sorry if this is so sloppy SNXNFNDND ITS LIKE 11PM HERE ND I AHVE SCJOOL TOMORROW😭😭😭 i RLLY RRLYYY hope u like this one☹️💔

#omori #omori x reader #writing #omori fanfic #omori game #omocat #omori sunny #sunny omori #sunny x reader #sunny #x reader #fanfic #fanfiction #game #video game #romance #oneshot #oneshots

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weemssapphic · 10 months

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THE LAST BRIENNE FIC WAS SOOOOO GOOD!!! Perfecto! Was wondering if you could do one where she actually breaks up with the reader for sad angsty insecure reasons and there’s a lot of heavy angst but maybe someone else tries to take advantage of the situation and woo reader and triggers brienne and they get back together againnnn

A/N: oh lord has it really been 2 months since I received this request? I ~deeply~ apologize, I hope you still see this and I hope you enjoy <3 Not sure how heavy the angst actually ended up getting but I hope it's alright regardless. Brienne requests always bring me an immense amount of joy ✨ and thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed the last Brienne fic <3

What You Had, What You Lost

Brienne of Tarth x f!reader

Words: ~4.6k | ao3 link in title

Content/warnings: angst, breakups, mentions of alcohol, hurt/comfort

It’s for the best really. That’s what Brienne tried to tell herself, at least. You’d be better off without her. After all, she could see the worry in your eyes before she would go off to battle. She could hear the fear in your voice when you’d told her to please come home. And as nice as it felt to come home to someone (to come home to you), Brienne was anything but selfish - you had a whole life ahead of you, and she refused be the reason you’d give it all up; she refused to be the reason you’d spend your days sitting at home, waiting for her to return; refused to be the reason you’d miss out on having a family, on bearing children; refused to be the reason people would sneer at you - for being with Brienne the Beauty.

And, maybe, Brienne was shielding herself from the inevitable heartbreak when you would finally figure all of this out yourself, when Brienne and the life she had found herself thrust into finally became too much for you. But, really, she was doing you a favor. It was for your own good, she told herself.

Her heart felt like lead and her stomach felt hollow when she came home from training that day. You had cooked something, and it smelled heavenly, and her heart sank just a bit further when you whirled around to greet her, grinning up at her the way you always did when she came home. She did her best to smile back at you, she really did - but when you frowned and asked what was the matter, she realized she’d been unsuccessful. “I’m just tired,” she said (she wasn’t ready to tell you yet, she wanted to commit your smile to memory first).

“It’s alright, my love,” you replied tenderly, reaching up to caress her cheek and smiling warmly, your eyes crinkling at the outer corners and your faint laugh lines deepening. It took every ounce of strength that Brienne possessed not to cry in that moment, to quirk her lips upwards into something resembling a smile. She was almost certain you could see right through her facade - you knew her better than anyone - but you must’ve chalked it up to her being tired (like she’d told you), because your eyes filled with understanding and kindness and you stroked her jaw lovingly with your thumb.

Brienne’s heart cracked a little more as you began to set the table, and even more when you shooed her away as she tried to help - “please, Bri, you’re tired, sit. I can handle this.” You believed her, you always did. It was one of the pillars of your relationship - Brienne was always honest with you, and you were always honest with Brienne. If Brienne told you she was tired, then you knew it to be true.

It was for your own good.

At dinner, you did most of the talking. Brienne simply listened, trying to commit the sound of your voice to memory, storing away every little chuckle, every time you would say her name or call her “love”. When you noticed she was barely eating, simply pushing the food around her plate, worry filled your eyes and you reached over the small table to squeeze her hand - the gentle brush of your skin on hers only working to deepen the pit in her stomach.

“Brienne, are you certain you’re alright?” Your voice was so soft and gentle that it made Brienne nauseous. She had to get this over with, before she broke down completely. It was for your own good. If she told herself this enough, she might believe it.

She took a deep breath, training her eyes on her plate. “Y/N, I have to tell you something.”

“Anything,” you replied earnestly, your tone still patient and kind, as if you didn’t suspect a single thing. Your thumb was tracing soothing circles over the back of her hand.

“I- we can no longer be… together.”

It was as though all the air had been sucked out of the room. The silence was deafening, a high-pitched ringing beginning to invade Brienne’s eardrums. Her gaze flitted to your face, watching the color slowly drain from it - she couldn’t stand it, she had to look away again. She felt you retract your hand from hers and found herself immediately yearning for the warmth of your touch again.

“I… I don’t understand.” Your voice was shaky now, and when Brienne chanced another glance at your face, she could see your brows furrowed in confusion, your eyes glistening with tears yet to be shed. Her heart dropped and she felt bile rising in her throat. Her first instinct was to wrap her strong arms around you and kiss away the crease between your brow - to litter your face with tiny pecks of her lips until your tears had made their retreat and laughter was bubbling out of your chest. But she couldn’t very well do that now - she was the one breaking up with you, and if she wasn’t your girlfriend anymore then, well, it wouldn’t be her place to kiss you or comfort you any longer.

So she put on her mask, the one she used when she needed to be strong, when she was training and commanding her men - it was the only way she’d be able to keep her voice even enough to say what she needed to say, the only way she’d be able to stay steadfast in her decision. It was for your own good, she reminded herself, swallowing thickly.

“This isn’t working for me any longer. I have to focus on my duties as Lord Commander, I cannot afford any distractions.” You see, Brienne knew you would try to argue if she told you the real reasons she was breaking up with you. She didn’t think you would accept those so easily. But her duties as Lord Commander were something she was sure you wouldn’t be able to argue against.

The silence stretched on uncomfortably long, hurt flitting across your face as your tears finally spilled over, leaving pale tracks down your cheeks. Brienne’s fingers twitched as she fought the reflex to wipe them away.

“Is that what I am to you?” you whispered, your voice watery and thick - Brienne had never heard you so upset before, and her heart ached knowing she was the cause of your pain. “A distraction?”

Brienne felt her lip twitch as all her organs seemingly clenched together in pain. Of course not! she wanted to scream. You’re the love of my fucking life and the reason my world keeps turning! I just cannot hold you back any longer!

“I should go,” she muttered instead, pushing her chair back as she stood and turning to leave.

“Brienne!” She heard your chair scrape across the floor, your voice rising in desperation. “We’re not done here! You can’t just leave.”

“I’ll have Podrick pick up my things tomorrow.” Brienne kept her voice level as she walked towards the door.

“Please, darling, I love you,” you sobbed, and Brienne paused for a moment with her hand on the doorknob. She could hear your footsteps coming closer, could see you out of the corner of her eye as you reached out for her - she opened the door and stepped through it, closing it firmly behind her.

When Brienne showed up at Podrick’s door that night, he didn’t ask any questions. He knew her well enough to know there was only one thing that could be causing her face to contort in pure anguish. He even pretended not to hear her sobs as she cried herself to sleep, and he didn’t comment on the bags under her eyes the next morning - for that, Brienne was grateful.

She realized, with a heavy heart as sleep evaded her that night, that she hadn’t even had the chance to kiss you one last time - she was already forgetting how it felt to have your lips on hers. That was the thought that sent her over the edge, tears flowing freely down her face and staining her pillow.

It was for your own good.

~~~

“I cannot afford any distractions.”

A distraction.

Brienne’s lip had twitched. That was the only tiny little sign you could cling to that Brienne may have been bluffing. That she may not have fully meant what she’d said.

But she’d left. She hadn’t even looked back.

“I will love you until all the stars fall from the sky,” she’d told you once. “Your love makes me feel like the luckiest woman alive.”

Was this before or after she’d decided you were simply a nuisance, getting in the way of her duties?

You cried yourself to sleep that night, of course you did - you didn’t even have the heart to clear off the dinner table. When a knock sounded on the door the following morning and you’d rushed out to answer it, your heart had clenched when you’d seen the two plates, the two goblets - proof that Brienne had been there just the evening before, that you’d shared a dinner after work as if nothing was wrong.

You clung onto every bit of hope that you could muster up that it would be Brienne at the door, taking everything back. Your stomach twisted when, instead of the tall, blonde knight, a decidedly shorter man with a dark mop of hair and a round face greeted you.

So she’d sent Podrick, just like she’d said.

You let him into your home, silently, watching as he moved nervously about the space, gathering weapons and armor and clothing - only the necessary things, nothing of sentimental value - and purposely avoiding your gaze.

When he was finished some ten minutes later, he stopped by the front door and, finally, looked you in the eyes.

“I’m sorry,” he said, kindly and with a sad smile.

You simply slammed the door in his face. This made you feel even worse - you’d always liked Podrick, and it’s not like any of this was his fault. But you were in no mood for pleasantries or pity, particularly not when Brienne was apparently too cowardly to face you.

~~~

One week. One week spent wallowing in your home, barely leaving - barely leaving the bed, for that matter. One week until you decided you had to get out and do something. Brienne had not called on you, she hadn’t once showed up or asked someone to check on you.

A distraction. Maybe that’s really all you’d been.

You’d been meaning to get a new dress fitted for some time. The seamstress in town had always been kind to you, always chatty and empathetic. Perhaps it was time you paid her a visit - perhaps she could even be a shoulder to lean on, someone to support you.

You appraised yourself in the little mirror in your bedroom. You’d certainly seen better days - your cheeks were puffy, your eyes rubbed raw from wiping away tears, your chest was splotchy and red. After taming your tangled hair into something resembling a hairstyle and changing into something other than your nightgown, you made your way into town, with the gown that needed altering folded carefully in your bag.

The little bell above the door to the shop jingled as you entered.

“Be right with ya!” called a muffled voice from one of the rooms in the back. Moments later, a petite woman scurried into view, her face nearly completely obscured by the armful of fabric she was carrying. She quickly dropped the fabric onto a nearby armchair and wiped her palms on her dress.

“Y/N, so good to see you,” Meera beamed, looking behind you as if searching for something, brow creasing. “Is the Lord Commander not with you today?”

“I’m afraid I’ll be coming alone from now on.” You offered her a wobbly smile, unable to stop your voice from trembling as you felt the familiar sting of oncoming tears.

“Oh.” Hazel eyes truly drank in your appearance for the first time, recognition dawning on Meera’s face. “Oh, come here, love.” She opened her arms to you and enveloped you in a tight hug. It felt decidedly different from the hug you really craved (Brienne’s) - Meera was much shorter, her hands smaller as they rested on your back, her grip lighter. But she was warm, and her voice was comforting as she cooed into your ear, and so you hugged her back and let out all the tears you couldn’t bear to hold in.

The alterations of your dress were quickly deemed second priority as Meera flitted about her shop to make you a cup of tea and ushered you to please, sit and make yourself at home. She sidled up next to you then, listening intently as you spilled your heart out about Brienne.

“The Lord Commander is a damned fool,” she muttered, scowling. “How anyone could let a pretty lady like you go is beyond me.”

Her serious tone drew a giggle out of your throat, your cheeks turning rosy.

“Couldn’t have been me,” Meera said resolutely, shrugging and smiling kindly at you - you couldn’t help but smile back.

~~~

Brienne trudged wearily towards the training grounds, unable to stop her mind from wandering as she had nothing to occupy herself with. The expression on Podrick’s face when he’d come back with arms and bags full of her belongings had filled her with such a burning sense of shame - the sad frown, the raised eyebrow as he’d simply asked her what she’d done. She hadn’t answered him - if she’d so much as opened her mouth she might’ve vomited on the spot.

The days (or had it been weeks now?) were blurring together for Brienne - she wasn’t sure how much more she could take. Every morning she awoke without your warmth curling into her, every evening she fell asleep without first stealing a soft kiss - your absence had left a gaping hole in Brienne’s chest that she was certain she would never be able to fill. And it was all her own fault.

As she strode across the training grounds, she walked past a group of her men, all huddled up. One of them immediately began snickering as she passed by, causing her to come to a halt and cock her head towards him.

“Can I help you?” she grit out, hand coming to rest on the pommel of her sword.

The man’s friends recoiled, averting their eyes, but he himself was a little naive and a little bold, so he squared his shoulders and replied, condescension lacing his tone. “It’s talk of the town that the Lord Commander’s little girlfriend found herself someone new.”

Brienne felt her blood begin to boil. “Pardon?” she hissed, her knuckles turning white as they tightened around the hilt of her sword.

“Must’ve gotten bored of being the Lord Commander’s little wh-”

Brienne let out a fierce grunt, baring her teeth as her sword flashed in the sun, coming to rest under the man’s chin. The blade pressed into his flesh, drawing the tiniest bit of blood, and his eyes widened in fear - though his shit-eating grin never slipped from his face.

“Another word and I’ll have you cast out of King’s Landing,” Brienne growled. “Am I understood?”

There was a beat of silence. The man’s eyes flitted from Brienne’s face, red with anger, to the perfectly polished blade of Valyrian steel. Finally, he nodded his assent.

“Of course, Lord Commander.”

Brienne’s nostrils flared at his smirk, her heart thundering wildly in her chest. Eventually, she withdrew her sword and took a step back. “Get out of my sight.”

The small group all but dragged their friend away, leaving Brienne to stand alone in the middle of the training grounds, white-hot rage radiating off of her in waves. Rage and… confusion? Had you really moved on so quickly? Was she the last to know you’d found someone new?

She shouldn’t be upset with you for that. That’s what she’d wanted, wasn’t it? For you to find happiness with someone who wouldn’t hold you back.

It was for your own good, after all.

~~~

Even as the days went by, Brienne found herself unable to get her mind off the rumors of you finding someone else. It was driving her absolutely mad with longing - anytime she allowed her mind to wander, it bombarded her with images of you in someone else’s arms. Always nameless, always faceless - but with wandering hands and lips pressed to your throat, bringing a blinding smile to your face that had once only been directed at Brienne.

So here she was, trying to keep herself busy, walking up to the seamstress’s little shop to get a tear in a pair of trousers stitched up. It was something you could’ve easily fixed for her - Brienne’s large fingers were a bit too clumsy, a bit too out of practice for the fine stitches that would’ve been necessary here. Brienne would have sat next to you, watching you patch up her trousers - it would’ve taken far longer than necessary, with Brienne distracting you every few minutes to steal a kiss. You would’ve swatted her away, playfully and with little force, laughing in that lighthearted way that was reserved only for her.

Brienne shook the thought from her head and swallowed the lump in her throat as she reached Meera’s shop - though what she saw through the window had her stopping dead in her tracks. Brienne’s heart twitched with yearning as she saw you, sitting on a stool in the corner of the shop - Meera standing behind you, draped over your shoulders and showing you something in a book. You looked tired, somehow unlike yourself, but all Brienne could focus on was the smile on your face - it was genuine. More than that, it was directed at Meera, who giggled and leaned in closer.

A wave of nausea washed over Brienne and her lungs began to constrict. She felt frozen in time, watching your sweet little interaction. This is what you wanted, she had to remind herself firmly. Meera was a kind woman, with a steady job - a job where the greatest danger was an accidental poke with a sewing needle. She had a good reputation in town, she was well-liked and respected. Still, Brienne couldn’t help the way her blood ran cold as the rumors she’d heard were confirmed.

It was too much. Brienne tore her eyes away from the two of you, turning swiftly on her heel and fleeing the scene, her heart pounding wildly in her chest and her eyes stinging with tears.

It was for your own good. She wasn’t sure when she’d start to really believe it.

~~~

That night Brienne found herself sitting in the dark corner of a tavern, nursing goblet after goblet of wine. She wasn’t one to get drunk on purpose, not usually, but all she wanted tonight was to forget. To forget all the images burned onto the backs of her eyelids - your tear-stained face as she’d left you, Podrick’s pity-filled gaze from across the breakfast table, the sneers of some townsfolk that only seemed to be getting worse, the smile on your face as Meera stood close to you.

But somehow, with every drop of alcohol, the onslaught of images became stronger, harder to ignore. More memories joined in, until Brienne’s head was a jumbled mess of thoughts that taunted her, snippets of her life with you - her life without you.

It was for your own good, it was-

To hell with it.

She had to see you. She would just stop by… just to see if you were really happy with Meera, if the seamstress was treating you well - and, if she was, well then Brienne would leave you alone for good.

Brienne rose to her feet - too quickly, apparently, as she stumbled into the corner of the table. Maybe she was just a little more tipsy than she’d realized… She stepped out into the balmy night air and the world spun a little around her. Perhaps she should wait until morning, Brienne reasoned as she looked up at the inky black sky - it had to be at least midnight now, and she wasn’t sure how welcome she’d be, showing up drunk in the middle of the night. How welcome she’d be at all…

She was grateful that Podrick was already asleep when she snuck through the front door - she didn’t need his pity or his scrutiny. At least the alcohol was good for something - Brienne fell fast into a dreamless slumber, too exhausted to spend time ruminating.

Brienne held fast in her resolve the following morning - her feet carried her all the way to the home you’d formerly shared, her mind clouded with anger and despair in equal parts. When she knocked and didn’t receive a reply, she rounded the little house and stomped towards the garden, slowing her gait as she saw you sitting in the grass with your back to her.

With her heart pounding against her ribcage and her stomach fluttering anxiously, she took a few tentative steps towards you.

~~~

Gravel crunched behind you. You didn’t have to turn around - you would recognize those heavy footfalls anywhere - you’d spent years memorizing them, listening for them.

“You seem to have moved on quite quickly.” The question was so blunt that you couldn’t help but snort.

“I haven’t the faintest clue what you’re on about, Brienne. Or would you like for me to address you as Ser now? Perhaps Lord Commander?” You couldn’t keep the venom from dripping from your lips - you could feel all the hurt and longing and anger that had been simmering beneath the surface threatening to boil over, and you didn’t care to stop it.

“The seamstress.”

“Meera?” Your stomach flipped uncomfortably. You’d noticed that the woman had taken a liking to you, even going so far as to openly flirt with you. But truth be told, you didn’t see her that way - you simply needed someone to lean on when Brienne had abandoned you, and Meera was… well, there.

Brienne’s next question was so quiet you nearly missed it, lost in your thoughts as you were. “Does she make you happy?”

You laughed - it was a hollow laugh, laced with bitterness and tinged with disappointment. You twisted to look up at Brienne - she stood behind you, back ramrod straight, hands clasped in front of her. Her face was an impassive mask, or so she thought - you could see the weight of her emotions behind bright sapphire eyes, the twitch of her lips as she waited for your reply.

“Does it matter? You’re the one who broke up with me, why do you care who I talk to? But for your information, Ser, she has been a kind friend to me when I couldn’t bear to be alone.” You raised an eyebrow in challenge, and Brienne scoffed.

“A friend, yes. I can see that. Everyone can see that.”

“What are you insinuating?”

Your eyes flashed dangerously and Brienne remained silent, her gaze falling to the ground.

If this was all she came for, well, you were done here. You stood, smoothing your skirt and looked defiantly up at Brienne. “I hope now, with all distractions gone, you can focus better on your precious duties. Seems to be working out well for you. Good day, Ser.”

“Wait.” Long fingers circled your wrist in a strong grip, holding you in place and whirling you around. Stormy blue eyes met your own, Brienne’s face a whirlwind of emotions.

“You and Meera, you’re not…?” She cocked her head to the side in question. For the first time you could see the heartbreak written plain as day on her face, and, despite your anger, you felt your heart clench with longing.

“Do you really think I could forget you that easily?” you whispered, not trusting your voice not to betray you.

Brienne opened her mouth, then closed it again, her eyes flitting between your own. This was the first good look you’d gotten of her, and she looked exactly how you felt - hollow, exhausted, hurt.

“I didn’t mean it,” she whispered finally.

“Didn’t mean what?” You felt your pulse pick up, your breathing shallow. You had to hear her say it.

“That you’re a distraction.” She spit the word out as if it were a dirty thing, and your stomach clenched. “You’re not. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

“Then why did you say it?”

“Because I thought I was doing the right thing for us,” she snapped. She looked at you, her eyes pleading with you to understand. “Just because I chose this life for myself, doesn’t mean you have to.”

“What are you talking about, Brienne?” you snapped back, growing impatient.

“Don’t you want a family? Don’t you want to live your life without the fear that your partner could fall in battle any damned day?”

“And Meera can give me all of that?” You scoffed. “I have a right to choose what I want out of life, Brienne, you don’t get to make that choice for me. What’s really going on here?”

Brienne sighed. She seemed conflicted as her eyes darted between yours, her tongue coming out hesitantly to lick her lips. When she spoke, it was as if she was fighting to get every single word out. “I’m used to it, being sneered at and looked at as different - I don’t want to drag you into that. I don’t want my life to be too much for you.”

A heavy silence shrouded the pair of you like a veil. Of course it would all come back to Brienne’s insecurities. She was afraid of losing you, so she’d shut you out instead.

“Brienne?” you said finally, tearing your wrist from her grip and taking a step towards her.

“Yes?” she breathed, leaning in as if drawn by some magnetic force. You could feel her breath, warm and ragged, on your face - her scent filled your nostrils now, a mixture of soap and sweat, somehow managing to calm you instantly.

“You are an idiot.”

Brienne’s brow creased and she frowned, but then you smiled and a lovely, scarlet blush began to creep up her cheeks.

“I would rather spend the rest of my life waiting for you and worrying about you, than wondering what it would be like to have you at all. You’re my family Brienne. I don’t need more than that - I need you.”

Brienne surged forward, crashing her lips desperately into yours. A familiar warmth immediately flooded her chest as she allowed herself to get lost in you, tugging you closer by the waist. Your fingers threaded themselves into her short locks, like they always did, and Brienne breathed out a contented sigh as your tongue licked its way into her mouth. Oh, how she’d missed this.

“I love you,” she murmured between kisses, feeling you push yourself closer at those words. In that moment, nothing mattered except you and your lips - it was as if you were kissing for the very first time.

“Oh, and Bri?”

“Hmm?” “If you ever try something like that again, I swear I’ll strangle you with my bare hands.” Your smile was wide and Brienne’s laugh was loud and carefree, her heart swelling with joy. She knew it was not an empty threat - but she also knew she would spend the rest of her life guarding your heart with everything she had. Even from herself.

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