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drev-the-ambassador · 7 years

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EDIT: I don’t know if it’s just me, but the pictures in this post didn’t seem to be working properly on the mobile app at first. If the pictures are all over the place and don’t seem to be getting back to normal, you might have better luck trying the web page version!

So, in case no one noticed, I haven’t made a post in a looong time. That is due to a combination of a crappy computer, lack of time and also a bit of laziness. Originally I wanted to make this post the first post on the blog, but that didn’t end up happening. While trying to answer one sports-related ask I, seeing as the post was taking forever since I had to do a lot of research and on top of that, I had to write in proper sentences, I decided it would probably be for the best to make a quick post, a list perhaps, of some basic things about Finland. So I did. It’s this post. The reason it has taken me so long to get this done is that originally I also had a history portion, but it ended up making the post too long. I then decided it would be better to make that into its own post, so I settled on making a condensed version on this one.

Turns out, condensing 800 years of history into one post and keeping it at a reasonable length is not such an easy task. Huh, who would’ve thought? That means that you’ll be getting THREE separate posts about general Finnish history! Awesome right?

Anyway, this is not that post. This is just some basic stuff, and pictures. So, without further ado:

Some basic things about Finland

Name of the country: Suomen tasavalta (the Republic of Finland)

Location: Fennoscandia (not Scandinavia!!), Northern Europe

Edit made by me (as you can see from the top notch quality), but the map is from here Neighboring countries: Norway to the north, Sweden to the west, Estonia to the south on the other side of the Gulf of Finland, Russia to the east.

Official languages: Finnish and Swedish (technically Finland Swedish) Minority languages (mentioned in the law): Karelian, Northern Sami, Skolt Sami, Inari Sami, Finnish Romani, Finnish Sign Language and Finland Swedish Sign Language.

Languages with the most speakers: 1st: Finnish (4 865 628 people/88,7% of total population[as of 2015]) 2nd: Swedish (290 161/5,3%[2015]) 3rd: Russian (~75 000[as of March of 2017, same with the ones below]) 4th: Estonian (~49 500) 5th: Arabic (~21 700) 6th: Somali (~19 000) 7th: English (~18 500)

President: Sauli Niinistö, 12th president of Finland. in 2018 there’ll be a new presidential election, but he’s running for president again, and there’s quite a good chance he’ll get elected again.

Here’s our current president with his wife Jenni Haukio and their dog, Lennu, the first dog of Finland.

Currency: Euro since 2002. From 1860 until 2002 Finland had it’s own currency, markka. 1 euro is approximately 6 markkas.

Population: 5 503 297 as of 2016

Population density: 16/km2

Size: Area: 338 424 km2 Length: ~ 1 200 km Width: ~ 550 km

Number of lakes: 187 888

Number of islands: 179 584

Religion: 72,0 % Evangelical Lutheran 1,1 % Orthodox Christian 1,6 % other 25,3 % none

Important holidays: Vappu 1.5. Juhannus 20.6.-26.6. on a Saturday Itsenäisyyspäivä (Independence day) 6.12. Joulu (Christmas) 24.12. is celebrated more than 25.12. Uudenvuodenaatto (New Year’s eve) 31.12.

Other holidays: Laskiainen (Shrove Tuesday) Seven weeks before Easter. Pyhäinmiestenpäivä (All Saints’ Day) 31.10.-6.11. on a Saturday, NOT Halloween, we don’t celebrate it here. Pääsiäinen (Easter) The same time it’s celebrated elsewhere. Ruotsalaisuuden päivä (Finnish Swedish Heritage Day) 6.11. Äitienpäivä (Mother’s day) Celebrated on the second Sunday of May. Isänpäivä (Father’s day) Celebrated on the second Sunday of November, exactly half a year after Mother’s day.

Can you drink the tap water: Yes.

Number of saunas: 2 million - 3,2 million

Number of dogs: around 500 000 pure breeds, mixed breeds not included

Finland’s national

...anthem: Maamme, Vårt land in Swedish, Our Land in English. Composed by Fredrik Pacius, words written (first in Swedish) by J. L. Runeberg. It was performed for the first time in 1846. The Finnish translation is what made it become the national anthem, even though for a long time Finnish wasn’t even an official language in Finland.

...flag: A blue Nordic cross on a white background, the State flag also has the Coat of Arms of Finland in the middle.

...Coat of Arms: A golden crowned lion on a red background, standing on it’s hind legs, with it’s other armored front leg holding a sword, trampling a saber, with nine silver roses just kinda floating around. See for yourself.

...day: 6th of December, our Independence day.

...epic: Kalevala, published in 1835, made by Elias Lönnrot, who collected old poems and songs from Karjala (Karelia) and compiled them into one book. Kalevala has inspired many artists in Finland and abroad, one example being J.R.R. Tolkien. Kalevala has been translated into 61 languages, so you can probably give it a read if you’d like. (source)

...instrument: Kantele. (source)

...personification: Suomi-neito, the Finnish Maiden. Yes, we have an official personification as well.

...animal: A bear. It was a holy animal in Finnish paganism, so much so that it was forbidden to say its name out loud. To this day, we don’t know what the real, original word for bear in Finnish was. It had a lot of names that were used instead. The word we use today, karhu, comes from the word “karhea”, which means like, rough? It’s because of the texture of the bear’s fur. (source)

...fish: Ahven, European perch. Beautiful, isn’t it? (source)

....bird: Laulujoutsen, which is by the way a much prettier name than whooper swan (sorry English). Laulujoutsen literally means “song swan”. (source)

...bug: Leppäkerttu, a ladybug. Funny thing, you know how it’s called like a God’s cow in some languages? Well, the Finnish name, leppäkerttu OR the more specific species seitsenpistepirkko, are literally translated as “alder-Kerttu” and “seven-dotted- Pirkko”, Kerttu and Pirkko being Finnish names for women. What a weird name. ALSO, one of the gods pagan Finns worshipped was called Ukko, and it is commonly believed that he was the highest of all the Finnish gods. A ladybug, back then, was called ukonlehmä. You know what that means? Ukko’s cow. (source)

...horse: Suomenhevonen, Finnhorse, literally “horse of Finland”. It was, for a long time, the only horse breed in Finland. It’s apparently considered one of the fastest and most versatile coldblood breeds in the world. During WWII, the Finnish army did not have many cars, so suomenhevoset were very important back then. 7 200 horses died or went missing during the Winter War, and the horses that did survive had their minds as broken as the men they’d stayed beside. There are quite a few memorials for the horses, after all, they helped to carry the wounded when no other vehicle could. We owe them a lot.

This is one of those memorials. It’s called Suomenhevonen - Sotahevonen, which means basically “the Finnhorse - a war horse”. (no relation to the movie)

....dog: Suomenpystykorva, the Finnish Spitz, yes, we did need our national dog, who doesn’t??? Written mentions of a barking hunting dogs with red fur have survived from the end of the 19th century, but dogs very closely resembling the breed have been used for hunting in Finland for hundreds of years. (source)

...tree: Rauduskoivu, silver birch. (picture by me)

...flower: Kielo, Lily of the valley. (source)

...stone: Graniitti, granite. It’s the most common type of stone in Finland, and it’s been mined here even to be exported. For example, the pillars of Saint Isaac’s Cathedral in St. Petersburg were made of Finnish granite. And, of course, so was Finland’s Parliament House in Helsinki. There’s even a type of granite that has a Finnish name, rapakivi granite.

...poet: Johan Ludwig Runeberg (1804-1877). The words of our national anthem were made by him, and he wrote a collection of poems, called Vänrikki Stoolin tarinat, The Tales of Ensign Stål, an epic poem about the Finnish War of 1808-1809, a work of literature second to only Kalevala. He was already considered a great man (suurmies) before his death, and Runebergin päivä, Runeberg day, is celebrated on February 5th.

...composer: Jean Sibelius (1865-1957). Composed such little pieces as Finlandia (which was once suggested as the anthem for the whole world), the Karelia Suite, his seven symphonies, Valse triste, and many more. Finlandia is perhaps the best known out of all of them, especially the Finlandia Hymn. It is very beautiful, I agree. Here’s a link, go have a listen if you have time.

...author: Aleksis Kivi. He was the first professional Finnish author. He is the best known for his novel Seitsemän veljestä, Seven Brothers. He also wrote plays and poetry. Oh, yes, I should probably mention that this first professional Finnish author lived in 1834-1872. No, we haven’t been writing books here for very long. There are no photos of him, but there’s this drawing by Albert Edelfelt.

...saint: Piispa Henrik, or Henry, Bishop of Finland. He was murdered here in 1156. Maybe. He might’ve not existed, no one knows for sure.

...satu: See, the word “satu” technically means a fairytale, but some stories that are called a satu in Finnish don’t actually have that much magic stuff, you know? For example this one, that I swear I saw being called Finland’s national “fairytale”, but if it’s not, that’s fine, because it’s still a very well known tale in Finland. It’s called Koivu ja tähti, which means the Birch and the Star. It’s about two children, who were taken from their parents and from their home to Russia during the Russian occupation of Finland called “Isoviha”, or the Great Hatred. A lot of people died, okay, I’ll talk about it later in the history post. Anyway, the siblings, a boy and a girl, who want to return back home to Finland. However, the only thing they remember of their home is the big birch tree growing outside, and how a star always shone through the branches in the evening. They start making their way home, with only two birds leading their way, and after a year find their home and their parents, still alive. However, their two sisters had died while they were away, so the children realize that the two birds were actually the souls of their siblings leading them back home. This was based on the story of the author’s, Sakari Topelius’, great-grandfather Kristoffer Toppelius’ life, as he was taken to Russia as a slave, but after escaping and following the sunset he eventually found his way to Southern Finland.

But yeah, that’s about it. In our brand new series (that I came up with while making this post), “Some basic stuff about Finland”, the next part will be about the years Finland was a part of Sweden! Material for tons of fanfics y’all

I hope you enjoyed the read! Sorry that it took so long!

#hetaliafandomdirectory #aph ambassador #aph finland #finland #hetalia #and if you think my posts are too long pls tell me #the amount of times i typo'd the word Finland while making this and the history parts is too big #kinda like when i made my essay on the russification of finland in 8th grade #though then it was with the Finnish names and like both Finland and Russia and i think Sweden a few times???#i really can't write #sorry if this has many mistakes it's nearing 2 am now and i am quite tired so i'll fix the mistaks in the morning #i would've gotten this out sooner but i spent the afternoon making karelian pies with my cousin and grandma #hohoo #it was fun #sorry for the rambling btw #but i do hope you like this!!!#I spent a lot of time on it #i know which posts ill do next btw #answer a couple of asks and make a couple of my own posts #the hardest part is writing because i keep getting distracted by research

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bella-studyblr · 3 years

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Task Management:

Creating + Maintaining a Schoolwork Schedule

Key elements

Your schedule suits your individual time/task management preferences.

It is flexible enough to accommodate sudden changes, plus fluctuating energy levels, states of concentration, symptoms and moods.

Daily tasks are not over-whelming; they are small enough that they are achievable.

You do not get “burned out.”

It allows you to be consistent.

Steps to create your schedule

Decide if you want your planner to be paper or digital

Find an “order” that’s logical and achievable for you (more on this later)

Refer to your addendum/syllabus and write down all the assignments, tests and other events taking place that week/month (and their due-dates).

Then break these down, assigning tasks to each day of the week (more on this later).

Break down your tasks even further (more on this later).

Decide if you want to follow a simple daily to-do list or a timed schedule (more on this later).

Find your “order(s)”

Mandatory: Schedule assignments around other commitments (work, social, hobbies, etc.).

Do the hardest task first to get it out of the way (so that the rest of your tasks are less daunting, and because your smaller tasks require less energy therefore can be done even after completing the hard task).

Do the easiest task first to build momentum (give yourself a feeling of accomplishment which will motivate you to continue, and boost your self-confidence early in the day to establish a positive mindset for the rest of the day).

Do the task that’s due first to minimize deadline stress, and so your assignments don’t fall through the cracks (causing you to get discouraged and lose momentum).

Plan according to your energy level throughout the day and week: Do you have Pilates once a week? Maybe you can reserve that day for easier assignments. If you know you’re going to be tired for whatever reason, account for that in your planning.

Consider your state of concentration: If you know you’re too groggy or spaced out for the first hour of your day, you can either schedule easy tasks in that time, or none at all. If you take a medication in the afternoon/evening that makes you tired, schedule easier tasks or none, and get harder tasks done earlier/later in the day. If you have ADHD and crowded places mess with your concentration, but you like studying at a café, go when it’s not busy.

Be mindful of your emotions and symptoms: If you have depression, or are prone to depressive episodes, you’ll need to consider that when scheduling. You might have to rework your entire schedule when you get into a depressive episode (like adding lots of breaks). If suddenly you’re going through a big life event (like a breakup), you need to account for that when scheduling. For instance, if you can’t stand to be alone, maybe you can go out instead of staying in, and if your motivation is low, you may need to up your reward-system or break down your tasks even more.

Break down this week/month’s tasks

Refer to your addendum/syllabus and write down all your due dates for the time period you’re scheduling for.

Based on due dates, outside commitments, predictions of energy/mood/symptoms, assign assignments to the days of the week/month that make most sense for you.

Break down daily tasks into sub-tasks

You can do this (in advance) for your full week/month’s assignments, or do it every morning/evening.

Generally, your assignments will follow a variation of this formula: brainstorm, create an outline, research, write rough draft, edit and revise. Test/exam prep will look something like: check to see what the test is based on, pinpoint important sections, review to see how well you know the material, create a list of items to study, rewrite select notes, make flash cards, study topic 1, study topic 2, etc.

What are the individual components of these steps? Here are some examples. Brainstorm: what should my topic be, what should my thesis be, what points can support my thesis, what do I need to research, what questions do I need to ask my prof? Outline: topic, thesis, points, conclusion. Research: write down all the important parts from each source (separately), then sift through to sort into Supporting Point 1, Supporting Point 2, etc. Rough draft: opening statement(s), intro, point 1, point 2, etc., conclusion, closing statement(s). Edit/revise: read and check for grammar only, then read again and check for spelling only, read again and check for cohesiveness only, etc. Topic 1: Part A, Part B, etc.

Each of these small components can be individual items on your to-do list. Big tasks like, “write essay” are too big for most people. Even “write rough draft” is daunting. If you start with something specific and small like brainstorming, and work your way up, it’s a lot easier to approach. Plus, being able to check off tasks more often and more easily will boost your confidence and your sense of competence, thus building momentum.

Here is a sample to-do list: Research X for Point 1 of Literary Essay, create outline for History Essay, Edit/Revise Assignment 1, study Topic 1 and Topic 2 for Test 1.

To-do list or time-based schedule?

To do list: Write down all your assignments for the day. Put them in the order you want to do them, or go through them intuitively (based on what you feel like doing, or what’s most practical at the time/place you’re at).

Timed-based: Write down all your assignments, then write down the time you’re going to do each of them. You could set reminders or alarms if you want, or simply refer to the list. There’s an awesome app I recommend if this is your thing. It’s called Structured (iOS only).

Curate your study environment for maximum focus

Eliminate distractions such as uncomfortable clothing, sounds (or silence), phone and computer notifications, clutter in the room and on your desk, people who may try to talk to you (shut your door and/or inform them that you’re busy).

Designate a space to doing homework only and avoid spaces that you associate with other things (do not study in bed, as you will want to relax or sleep, and/or you will mess with your sleep by weakening the bed’s association with sleep).

Build associations: Incorporate other events and items into your study/homework routine that you only use while doing that, so that you associate those things with studying/homework (examples: specific playlists, pencils/pens, cups/bottles, scents, rituals, decor, etc.).

Ensure good lighting (preferably including daylight).

Get dressed in clothes that make you feel good about yourself. They don’t have to be “professional” and they should definitely be comfortable. Do not stay in your pyjamas. Believe me, I know this can be hard, and I love PJ’s. But they are not good for productivity.

Don’t “multi-task.” It may feel like you’re getting more done this way, but by splitting your focus, not only do tasks take longer, they also diminish in quality. Commit to the task you’re doing.

Meditate: You can even meditate for just 1-5 mins right before studying, homework and/or classes.

Practice self care (daily!)

Sleep (enough, well, and regularly).

Daylight: Get outside, work by windows, use a light therapy box. These can help regulate your sleep, improve and maintain mental health, and boost energy.

Fresh air: Getting outside even for a couple minutes can help you refresh and reset, and feel good about yourself and your life. Fresh oxygen can help you wake up and is great for your health. Even just opening your window can do a lot for your mood, energy and motivation.

Movement: Try to move at least once per day. The benefits of exercise are numerous and immense.

Healthy and consistent eating: Avoid spikes in insulin levels by eating regularly so you don’t have extreme dips in your energy level. Also, brain power uses calories too, so make sure you’re eating consistently, and try to eat healthy. There are so many other reasons eating consistently is good for your health (and by extension, your productivity).

Relaxation and leisure: Make time for fun and socializing, as well as intentional relaxation. Hobbies, movies/tv, time with friends/family, meditation, baths, progressive muscle relaxation, etc.

Therapy: Your therapy sessions are not daily, but you can do 5 minutes of inner-work per day based on what you and your therapist are currently working on. Working with a therapist is a great way to stay on track with your goals, and develop the skills and positive mindset required for success in school.

Reward yourself

Track progress: Reflect on all the assignments you’ve completed and your grades to remind yourself that you’re capable!

Completing to-do lists daily maintains a sense of accomplishment which keeps your momentum going. Check those items off! Or give yourself gold stars! ⭐️

Treat yourself with non-food rewards: Tie completed school work with fun tasks like video games, or take yourself out for coffee, or some other small (non-food) outing. What I’m trying to do right now is not do my leisure activities until my daily tasks are done.

Develop a positive mindset

Take promises you make to yourself seriously. The more you break promises to yourself, the easier it will get to continue breaking promises. You will lose respect for yourself which lowers motivation, and you will lose trust in yourself which can become debilitating as well. The more you keep promises, the easier it will get, the more motivated you’ll become, and the more you’ll trust and respect yourself. Your confidence will improve, and you’ll feel better about yourself. Productivity is choosing yourself. Discipline is choosing what’s best for you instead of what you feel like doing in the moment. Discipline is a muscle, and like any muscle, it can be strengthened, and it can atrophy.

Remember your “why.” What is the end goal of being in school? What’s your career path, and why did you choose it? What will your life be like when you have that career? What would your life be like if you gave up and didn’t make it to your goal? Aiming for your dream while running from your nightmare is a great strategy for maintaining motivation. Lighting a fire under your *** can be a huge motivator.

Remember how good you feel when you get schoolwork done, and let this motivate you to stay consistent. You can also remember how you feel when you don’t get work done, but definitely focus more on the positive!

Go to therapy and/or hire a coach. There are SO many benefits to therapy and I’d honestly need a whole other post to get into it. You don’t need to be depressed or mentally ill at all in order to benefit from talking to a therapist. They can even help you with time management, procrastination, motivation and more! If you can afford it, please do it. It’s such a worthwhile investment.

Be consistent

No “zero days.” Do at least a bit of homework or studying every day so you don’t slip into vacation mode. Make schoolwork a daily part of your life, so it just becomes the norm.

Build productivity momentum (track progress, check items off your to-do list daily, treat yourself, keep promises to yourself, remember your “why,” remember how success feels).

Stay on top of projects. Your assignments are made up of smaller tasks you assign yourself across time. “Success is the sum of small efforts repeated day in and day out.” - Robert Collier

Avoid burnout (more on this later).

Keep it interesting (more on this later).

Avoid burnout

Self-care: shower and/or bathe regularly, maintain proper sleep habits, stay hydrated, take care of your skin, do relaxation activities like meditation and reading, do fun activities, pamper yourself every now and then with face masks or foot baths, take your meds as prescribed, eat well and regularly, get outside often, move daily, etc.

Break up study/homework sessions into small, manageable chunks of time, with constructive (refreshing) breaks in between.

Break assignments down into even smaller tasks so that you aren’t over-working yourself during the course of a day, and so that you don’t overwhelm yourself (the stress can lead to burnout).

School-life balance: Keep up with your social life as best as you can, make time for your hobbies, maintain self-care, say no to things that don’t serve you, etc. Try to follow through with scheduled schoolwork 100% of the time, but know that you won’t. Sometimes you’ll need to prioritize mental health over schoolwork (be careful though, this is a very fine line, and a slippery slope). Sometimes things will come up and it’ll be out of your control. But more than anything else, there will be times when you just decide to prioritize something else like fun and socializing over schoolwork. This is why your schedule needs to be flexible: to accommodate sudden invites to hang out and random decisions to skip a homework/study session, but more importantly, flexibility will reduce the odds that you’ll skip in the first place. If your schedule includes hobbies and socializing, and anything else that’s important to you, then you won’t feel deprived. If you have school-life balance, you’ll have more of yourself to devote to schoolwork when it’s time to.

Keep it interesting

Romanticize your life by putting effort into making all of your daily tasks a special occasion.

Make meals and drinks special by using your favourite dinnerware and cutlery. Perhaps even incorporate extra elements such as: a beautiful tablecloth, napkins, candles and/or dim lighting, music, wearing your favourite clothing, etc.

Pretend you’re the main character in a movie about a successful, productive student (because you are the main character in your life).

Make games out of studying if this is something that interests you (the Forest app comes to mind).

Use lots of colours in your notes and buy colourful stationary! 🌈

Vary your approach/methods if needed to avoid boredom.

Study with friends (online or in person).

Reward yourself often.

Remember your “why.”

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the-writer-muse · 2 years

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Realistic Procrastination Tips

Intro

Ah, procrastination, also known as the bane of writers everywhere. It’s the easiest trap to fall into as a writer. You don’t feel like writing, so you just...don’t. Or maybe you completely forget about it when you’re watching TV or scrolling through social media, and by the time you remember you’re like, “Eh, it’s too late to write anyway.”

Procrastination is most likely always going to be an issue for all writers in some way. However, there are ways to counteract it. Today I’ll be sharing some realistic tips for procrastination that have actually helped me!

1. Make writing a habit

When I say to make writing a habit, I don’t mean you have to write every day. You can write every other day, every two days--whatever works for your schedule. What I mean is that you have to get used to the idea of writing.

A lot of the time, we hesitate to write because we get into the mindset that writing is an arduous task. But in reality? When you just sit down and start writing, you’re more likely to continue than you are to stop. Starting is the hardest part of writing. Once you begin, you’ll find it’s much easier to keep going. Train yourself out of that “writing = hard” mindset and in the words of a certain shoe company, just do it. And if you’re having trouble disciplining yourself, have someone else to hold you accountable. It’ll make you more likely to finish your goals.

One thing I do to form a writing habit is to write in my spare time. Usually, that means I write during school, in the earliest hours of the day (when my classes are easier and I have less homework). Tip: little things accumulate. If you can spare even half an hour or so to write--or think about writing--every single day, it adds up!

2. The “Room Rule”

Okay, so I just made this up, but it still applies. Basically, it means that you should keep as many unneeded electronic devices as possible at least one room away from you--whether that means moving yourself away from your phone, or putting your phone somewhere that you can’t see it. Pretend you’re in a classroom where if the teacher catches you with your phone, it’ll immediately be confiscated and you’ll be kept after school (which honestly, is probably pretty realistic for some of my followers who are students). Seriously, though. Social media is one of the best ways to procrastinate, so the best solution is to just get it out of sight. Once you start scrolling, it takes a really long time to stop.

If you still have distractions on whatever device you write on, you can clear your distracting tabs. Alternatively, you can put them in another window out of sight or do all your research before you start writing. Another option is to use an app to restrict what sites you can access, like Forest.

3. You have time

I’ve mentioned many times already that writers often think that they don’t have time to write. Well, I've got good news for you: you definitely do still have time to write. Every word counts! Even if you don't have enough time today, you'll have more chances tomorrow.

A similar trap procrastinating writers fall into is convincing themselves that they can't make the time to write. For example, I'm a student, and for the longest time I would tell myself I had too much homework to write. But then when I finished my homework, I would have plenty of free time...which I spent on my phone. Yeah, I know. Eventually I figured out that if I was going to make any progress at all in my WIPs, I was going to have to make myself do it.

If you really want to write, you should carve out the time to write in your schedule. Don't give yourself an excuse! Obviously, this doesn't apply to people who genuinely don't have time to write--you shouldn't burn yourself out trying to juggle a busy schedule and your WIPs.

Honestly, the best way to deal with procrastination is to deal with yourself. Examining your feelings toward writing and finding time to write are steps toward figuring out your own best method of productivity. It's a very personal journey that I wish you luck on. Finally, to all of the procrastinating writers reading this post...go write! I believe in you!

#writing advice #writing tips #procrastination tips #how to deal with procrastination #writers life #writers of tumblr #writeblr #writer motivation #how to overcome procrastination #writing schedule #writing habit #how to stop procrastinating #writing motivation #why are some of you still reading the tags go off and do the thing that needs doing

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spacedikut · 3 years

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exam help ; spencer reid

pairing: spencer reid x gn!reader

summary: a self-indulgent blurb about spencer helping with exams :) 1.7k

a/n: first fic of the year :D happy 2021!

masterlist

Another anguish-filled screech reverberates from your and Spencer’s shared office, bringing even your pet fish in the tank to attention.

It’s the third one this hour. Spencer tries to ignore it, just like you told him to, but God you sound like you’re in pain and Spencer can’t exactly ignore that, can he? He loves you and cares for you and- oh. A thump reaches his ears. A textbook, maybe? Did you punch your textbook?

He considers for a moment that the neighbours will be alarmed, perhaps call the police or tentatively knock with a, “Is everything okay in there?”

It wouldn’t be the first time.

What would he tell them? Oh, my apologies, my partner has exams coming up and just told me they get why unsubs do that now. I am also terrified.

There are many instances where Spencer feels useless. During his job, when his mother would have an episode, when his friends have problems he just wouldn’t understand. But, somehow, and maybe controversially, this is the worst type of uselessness. The type that leaves him staring at the wall, questioning everything, the type that makes his stomach drop because all he can do is watch.

He’s been watching you for the last two weeks. He’s sick of watching, of being no help, and he needs to do something before he breaks and does something illegal.

(The illegal thing is doing your exams for you - not illegal as in, perhaps, murder)

Your frazzled head pops out from the office, one hand rubbing your eyes and a permanent frown etched on your face, and with a fragile voice you ask, “Can you make me a coffee, please?”

Now, Spencer feels hypocritical, but he has to say it. “Another? Are you sure?”

He sees the internal battle within you, how you try your hardest not to snap. It’s not his fault you’re stressed. He’s just trying to help. “Yes, I’m sure. Please, Spence,”

“Of course. I’ll bring it in.”

“Thank you.” With a pained smile, you’re gone again into the dark abyss of where you’re studying.

With quick, ingrained movements, Spencer makes your coffee with too much creamer and marshmallows. Unusual, yes, but your current diet consists of coffee and whatever he can force you to consume – like marshmallows.

But then, hello, he spots a chocolate bar haphazardly close to the bin, grabs it, and hopes you let him watch you eat it.

Stepping into the room as quietly as possible, he’s smacked in the face by the smell of lavender. It makes him nauseous, the intensity of it, quickly followed by a lurch of his heart because you poor thing, you’re being crushed by the weight of your degree – literally. The other day you purchased an insanely heavy weighted blanket and you’re drowning in it.

Now, if you were to ask Spencer who the most beautiful person on the planet is, he’d say you in a heartbeat. He’s thought that since you first met and, years later, still stands by that. But now, right now, glowering at him in the dimly lit, lavender drenched study that you used to love oh-so-much? You have the face of a French bulldog, all grumpy and furrowed and too many creases on your face to make Spencer feel like he’s actually helping when he places the coffee and snack on your desk.

Despite the crabby expression, your words are filled with love and appreciation – which happens to be Spencer’s favourite mix. “Thank you, my love.” You take a sip of the coffee, hum in delight, and for the first time in days there’s a spark of something other than torment. “You’re the best.”

Spencer’s hand holds the back of your neck and he places a series of soft kisses to your temple, mumbling, “I love you. Very much. Is there anything else you need?”

“Death.”

“Okay. I’ll work on it.”

At that, you grace Spencer with a weak half-smile. It’s enough to overwhelm Spencer, overflowing and only able to be shown through a chaste, encouraging peck on your lips and a half-hug, Spencer bent at the waist to hold you in your desk chair. He noses your hair, hoping his closeness will alleviate some stress, before stepping back and praying his eyes tell you everything he wants to say but know will elicit annoyance from you.

I love you. Take care of yourself. Rest, please. You can do this, but not if you over exert yourself. I love you.

Your eyes tell him, I’ll try. I love you. And that’s all he can ask for.

But when he leaves, shuffles past his bookshelf, his eyes catch sight of an old file that reminds him of when he was preparing for his own exams.

He gets an idea.

+++

It takes another two days, full of late nights involving work that isn’t staying up and distracting himself with books to avoid worrying over you and how late you go to sleep, and reading that leaves Spencer in awe of you and everyone in your field.

A part of him is amazed by how he wheelbarrowed the resources behind you without you noticing, another is worried about that fact, and the rest of him is excited that he can finally do something that will actually help. At least, he hopes.

(When everything is said and done, despite being endlessly grateful, you also inform Spencer that simply being there and being him and getting you coffee every time you ask is more than enough, really)

With pride, he leans back on the couch, observing his creations on the coffee table. There’s plenty of different colours, all representing a different topic, and he presses the thumbs up to like the Youtube video he was using to ensure his handwriting is easy to read.

Flashcards. Hundreds, if Spencer counted correctly. The textbooks he stole – borrowed – from under your nose lie next to his feet, the weight of them combined more of a workout than he’s (voluntarily) done in eons.

He only hopes you don’t think it’s too late, think he’s overstepping or-or that he’s doing those things that he’s been accused of before – thinking he knows best (he does, but whatever), overbearing arrogance, an unwillingness to hear and accept other people’s way of doing things.

He just wants to help. He wants you to know he’s here for you, no matter what you need. This is the thing that lets him believe he’s doing something, something good and useful. Spencer just wants to be useful.

He’s convinced you to eat a proper breakfast – fruit, oats, bread, meat, a whole buffet – and you sense something is amiss when you hear slow, tentative footsteps creeping from your bedroom.

Spencer, still in his pyjamas, glasses perched on his nose, approaches with a shallow box in his grasp. You swallow your bite, turn to face him. “What’ve you got there?”

The box is slid onto the counter next to your plate hesitantly, as if he regrets his actions as he’s doing them. Peering in, you see a blur of colour, stacks on stacks of rectangular paper filled with writing and questions and even a tips! section.

You pick up the first batch, all light blue, and flick through them, heart getting bigger and bigger with every word you read. And when you realise what they are, what Spencer’s done – for you – your heartrate has skyrocketed and the watch on your wrist is asking you if you’re okay.

“You made me flashcards?” You ask, in awe, again looking at the love of your life to find he’s already staring at you.

“I did,” He tells you, apprehensive and scared, already backtracking, “But, if you don’t think they’re useful, or-or you think I’m overstepping – I’m not trying to, I promise, I just thought…” He starts nervously shuffling and reshuffling some of his creation. “Flashcards are known to engage active recall and metacognition. Research consistently finds that applying metacognitive strategies tends to ingrain memories deeper into your knowledge, and that this kind of active recall retrieval practice leads to one-hundred and fifty percent better retention than passive studying, so…”

Your hands have a mind of their own, pulling what feels like an endless amount of cards out and turning them in your hands, from the questions on the front to the answers on the back, the ones with hints and advice and there’s several with doodles that are so Spencer you hold them to your chest. You’re so enamoured by this man that is still rambling and bumbling because he takes your silence as distaste.

“I just- I hate seeing you so stressed, so I made these. You don’t have to use them, of course. They’re not even that great. It’s not that I don’t think you’re capable, you’re beyond capable, or that your methods don’t work- Just, personally, I love flashcards. I used them all the time when studying, even though I didn’t really need them, so perhaps a change of medium would do you good-“

A warm hand on his own that keep fidgeting stops him mid-stream of consciousness.

“Thank you,” You say, earnestly, “Really. These are lovely.” You leap from your seat, wrapping Spencer in warmth and love and care, and he shivers when he feels your hot breath on his ear when you repeat your thanks again and again.

When he pulls you even closer, so your torso curves into his own, you feel the lightest you have in weeks. You’re in the arms of the man you love, who knows you love him too and you know loves you so much – enough to spend several nights reading your cursed textbooks so he could create something that might help – and now you’re confident that you can do it. With the help of Spencer and his lovingly hand-made flashcards, you can do it.

And if, somehow, it goes awry, that’s okay too. Because you’ll still have Spencer, your number one fan, who will be there to comfort you and advise you in any way he can. He’ll never let you doubt yourself, never allow a self-deprecating joke if he can help it, because if he has to, he’ll love and support you enough for the both of you until you can do it yourself.

The world feels a little brighter, your breaths feel a little lighter, all because of Spencer. So you kiss him, murmur love against his lips, and get ready to take on whatever dares to come your way.

+++

tags: @pinkdiamond1016 @bluerose512 @andreasworlsboring101 @roses-and-grasses @ta-ka-shi-ma @ogmilkis @chiffonchronicles @rexorangecouny @unmistakablyunknown @goofygubler14 @gublertoon @averyhotchner @wheeledup @shadyladyperfection @joodeduarte @calm-and-doctor @

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid fanfiction #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds x y/n #Criminal Minds Fanfiction #mine #the end is super cheesy but #eeeeeeeeeeeeee

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hummingbird-of-light · 2 years

Text

Post Tenebras Lux

PART 41 ~ Scotty

After they had spent the whole afternoon at the planetarium, stargazing, they had headed out to a fine restaurant for dinner. They had had fun and Scott eventually managed to forget what happened in the morning.

At least he thought so.

But now, lying in their bed, the pain killers doing their job, his mind returned to Dr. McCoy.

Would he see him again? Did he even want to see him again?

The answer to the last question was definitely a yes.

Actually, the Scotsman wanted nothing more than that. He wanted to see those beautiful calm eyes again, feel those gentle hands touching his body, hear that soothing voice.

He closed his eyes only to see the image of the doctor‘s face. At first it was smiling but then Scotty could see worry and fear.

‘He’s scared because he thinks that he can’nae help me.’

But Dr. McCoy didn’t have to be worried. The bruises would heal. And it would never happen again; Khan had promised him that it wouldn’t happen again. Ever.

‘Like he promised the time before. And before. And before.’

Scotty shook his head at the voice in his head. He had to trust his love. He had to have faith in his words.

An arm suddenly wrapped itself around him from behind and Khan pulled him closer to his chest.

Kisses were pressed to his cheek, neck, shoulder. At first soft, then more vigorously.

“Khan… Khan, wait-“

He didn’t want this. Not now. Fingers ran down his bruised chest but eventually his boyfriend stopped, apologizing.

“I’m sorry. I… Good night.”

Scotty slowly turned around to be face to face with Khan. He pressed a kiss onto his lips before snuggling closer.

“Good night.”

There he lay, in the dark, in the arms of his love… thinking and dreaming about someone else.

‘Please let me see him again.’

PART 42 ~ McCoy

McCoy threw himself into his work. Anything to keep his mind occupied. He began a new research project and spent long hours after work in the hospital’s lab.

The first few days had been the hardest. Whenever he closed his eyes Mr. Scott’s smile was there. But gradually it began to fade and his thoughts drifted less and less to the Scotsman.

He had inadvertently avoided the cafe as well. Jim had texted him once or twice to check in, but McCoy just said he was really busy at work. He was. Wasn’t he? Or was he just trying to keep himself busy?

McCoy had finally popped over to the cafe after about two weeks to ask Jim if he could order some books. He needed them for his research and sure he could have found them himself, but he knew Jim would appreciate the challenge of finding them.

He had found himself apprehensive as he entered the cafe that evening after work. He hadn’t been there since that day and he felt on edge as if Mr. Singh might jump out from a hidden spot.

“Alright Leo. That’s enough,” Christine’s voice came at him.

“What?” he asked, not looking up from the microscope.

“You’ve been running yourself ragged doing nothing but working,” Christine continued.

“Uh huh,” came a distracted noise from the doctor.

“Let’s go for lunch.”

“Ok.” McCoy leaned over to write down an observation.

“You haven’t heard a word I said!”

“Yes.”

“Leo it’s my birthday.”

That worked. McCoy swung quickly around.

“Chris! I forgot! I’m so sorry!” He jumped up to his feet.

Christine smirked at him.

“Wait…, no it isn’t,” McCoy frowned.

“No it isn’t, but now that I finally have your attention, take me to lunch,” Christine smiled. “You’ve been working too hard; you need a break.”

“I’m fine Chris-”

“Nope. Let’s go.” Christine grabbed McCoy’s arm and began to pull him from the lab.

“Ok! Alright! Chris let go!” McCoy managed to chuckle. “Where are we going?”

“You said Jim had your books in, let’s go there. Get them, have lunch.”

McCoy tensed slightly.

“Ok.”

“Good, here’s you wallet,” Christine grinned.

“Stop picking my lock!” McCoy laughed.

#star trek #montgomery scott #dr leonard mccoy #khan noonien singh #christine chapel #khan/scotty #scotty x mccoy #mccoy x scotty #scones #au #post tenebras lux

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tokoyamisstuff · 4 years

Text

Betrothed Ch. 11 - Illumi Zoldyck x Reader

Chapter 11: Broken

Summary: Illumi cannot escape his past - but sometimes that fact isn’t all that bad.

Warnings: Death, Blood, Angst, the usual.

Words: ~2500

A/N: Sorry guys, this chapter probably sucks. When I’m working night-shifts I become erradic and can’t think straight, but I still wanna write, so...

Story Masterlist

No one knows what it’s like to be the bad man To be the sad man behind blue eyes. And no one knows what it’s like to be hated. To be fated to telling only lies. But my dreams they aren’t as empty as my conscience seems to be. I have hours only lonely. My love is vengeance, that’s never free.

- Limp Bizkit: Behind Blue Eyes

“Keep good care of Alluka, okay?”

He only nodded in response. You never doubtet him to protect her, yet also couldn’t help reminding him either after everything he’s been through.

After all, his fear of Illumi made him forget about his locked away sister for such a long time...

“And you’ll be listening to your brother, right?”

“Aye!” the little girl cheered, pecking the flustered boy on the cheek.

It was actually very adoring to look at those two siblings who were finally reunited, now able to make up for the time they’ve lost.

The only companion you’d take with you was your familiar Luna, and you also didn’t want to rely on Alluka’s powers now that you had a hint to your husband’s whereabouts.

Your sister-in-law had been through enough, and she also was way more than just someone to grant wishes. She had desires, dreams and a future to look out for. Both of them.

Gladly, Killua could tell you about all safehouses in Yorknew City so the Zoldyck family wouldn’t notice about you prying around. That information was more than enough for your search.

“What are you going to do from now on?”

“Getting my husband back, obviously” you shrugged at Killua’s words, clutching the ace of spades you were holding. Hisoka had given it to you - infused with a powerful nen, you could contact him whenever you felt it necessary.

“I know that’s all very much for you...” Yes, Killua had struggled with his brother’s mental illness ever since his birth. And now to act like all of that never happened just because you told him he had a change of heart? It seemed almost impossible. “So take your time processing things. We won’t bother you until you’re ready.”

Rumpling up the boy’s white hair, you grinned widely at your friends before you boarded the airship.

You were already halfway across the ocean when you got a message from Killua, warming your cautious heart:

“I’m glad you’ve joined our family. Save him.”

Days passed by as you searched safehous after safehous, as well as every shady corner of the city. Much to your dissatisfaction, your husband had always been gone as soon as you reached the scene of crime.

“I’ll find him, no matter what!” you thought just before you reached the next safehouse, deep in the mountains surrounding the great city. He had seemingly destroyed the Zoldyck Personal Transmitter, just as you had - both blessing and curse.

The view was breathtaking, yet you didn’t bother yourself with wasting any minute enjoying it. Luna’s cry told you that you were near, and that was all that counted right now.

Because there were only three spots left, and what if you’d search for him in vain and he had already left Yorknew City? Your guts twisted very unpleasantly at the thought, making it a lot harder to climb the last pile of rocks.

And there it was - a small brick house, nothing more than a one-room-apartment with the most needed items to survive a short time.

There were lights on inside, you clearly saw them from afar.

Fearing that he would leave if he noticed you, there was no other option left than to surpress your Nen completely, leaving you defenseless against every possible threat.

But when you entered, there was no one there - except...

“Oh?” As you stepped into the dim cancle light of the room, a small cat stumbled in between your legs, purring happily. “Who are you, sweetheart?”

Seems like Illumi made a friend, huh?

The thought alone made your heart feel like it’ll burst out of happiness as you pet the animal’s head, noticing that Illumi had treated it’s wounds.

Leaving Luna and the cat get to know each other, you roamed around the room, searching for any possible hint on Illumi’s location.

The house seemed to still be occupied, so should you just wait here for him?

But then, the TV that he seemingly forgot to turn off bursted the local news:

“The auction is only expected to take place in a few weeks, but the preparations are already in full swing. Even though everone is talking about the possibility of the Phantom Troupe blowing up the occasion, rumors about ‘special measurements’ have been spread. The organizers did not want to comment, however they assured us the auction will run safe and peaceful.”

“Organizers my ass” you gritted your teeth. Everyone on the world knew the legendary Ten Dons were secretly holding an Underground Auction, with the ‘legal’ one just being a distraction.

But now you could very well imagine where your lover has headed up to...

It’s the same every year. Many assassins would gather to protect the auction, very well paid by the Dons.

A very good occasion to start wiping out the profession of assassins completely.

Finding the place of action was no problem. A quick research and you knew that the tallest hotel in town was in their possession, where the assassins would probably be allowed to stay until the big occasion.

The hardest part however was what in the world you could do if you arrived there...

“P-Please, have mercy!”

As you broke into the building and entered the conference hall, the blood-bath was already in full swing, the true strenght of your husband unfolding in front of your very eyes.

“Sorry, but I cannot make exceptions” Illumi spoke calmly, hitting his enemy’s head with a needle.

There were twenty-five - no, thirty corpses laying around.

Did he really single-handedly kill all those highly professional assassins? Then again, you had never seen him go all out before...

Even though your husband seemed to have granted them a quick death, everything was a mess. Broken furniture, scattered bodyparts and puddles of blood everywhere.

Illumi obviously didn’t need any help, but the moment you saw another enemy try to attack him from behind, you snapped.

Before you could even comprehend what happened, your body had acted before your mind, leaving you only able to watch as the man fell to the ground.

That wasn’t right. Those assassins were mostly hunters, who arrested or killed criminals. They weren’t guilty or worthy of death.

And yet you did it...it was a reflex, your inherent wish to help Illumi being stronger than your rationality.

So you stood stock still as your husband turned around, furrowing his brows at the injured person laying at his feet - and finished him off.

"Oh? Y/N...” Why did his tone have to be so cheerfull, even at times like this? “What are you doing here?”

As if this was a casual chat, he stepped over several corpses until he faced you, while still remaining his distance.

You gulped harshly, even after all this time not prepared for this moment. “I-I was searching for you.”

“What for?” he plainly retorted, stepping harshly on one of the twitching bodies. “I’m glad to see you’re alright, but you shouldn’t be here.”

Folding your hands to keep them from shaking, it made your following words seem only more as if you were praying. “Because I want you to come back to me. Please...”

“I can’t do that, Y/N” he said and his pained smile ripped your heart in thousand pieces. “I’m too dangerous to be with you. I see that now. It’s no wonder you didn’t trust me back then - since I can’t even trust myself.”

Seeing your face stained with tears made him struggle with the wish to cradle you in his arms, soothing you like he always did. But he refrained from doing so.

“Don’t be sad.” He rose his bloodied hands in the air, gesturing across the room. "I found something I want to do. See? I’ll cleanse the world of other monsters like me and make it more safe for you!”

“Lumi...” Hearing this familiar nickname in your most alluring voice made him drop the facade for only a mere second. “...are you crying?”

“Huh? So that’s what it is.” Only now Illumi realized that he had been weeping as well, touching his face in surprise. He had already forgotten that he was able to cry as well."Yeah. It happens a lot lately.”

“Illumi, love-” you now pleaded, breaking out in convulsive sobbing. “You’re sick, you know that. But that’s not the right way...”

“No need to worry” he tried to compromise, pointing to his neck. “I used a needle on myself, in case my parents should get the better off me again. If I ever hurt someone innocent again, it’ll tear my aorta apart and I’ll die.”

You dared to take a few steps in his direction, but he backed off. “There’s no other way, Y/N. You’re the only one allowed to put an end to my life if you wish, but nothing else.”

“If I die, I’ll make up at least for a fraction of my deeds” Illumi thought to himself, his face now contorting to a rather mad smirk. “Y/N will be safe.”

You said nothing - no, you were left unable to speak.

Seeing the love of your life suffering so much was just too hard for you to bear.

“I’m not worthy of your love, Y/N.” God knows when he managed to appear right in front of you, but somehow he did, softly raising your chin. “I’ll never be” he added, wiping away your tears with his thumb.

“Y-You...” Softly sniveling, you embraced your husband, face wetting the fabric of his shirt. “You don’t need to be ‘worthy’. Love doesn’t work that way, Lumi. I’ll always love you! That’s up to me and you can’t just change that fact!”

“I could” he suggested himself, struggling with the temptation to kiss all your pain away. A needle could make you hate him, or even forget it all.

But he had promised himself to never manipulate other people or cut their freedom, even if just for their safety.

It was your own decision how to feel, or how you’d deal with it.

“Do you really still not remember, Lumi?”

“What exactly?” Your husband didn’t move an inch as you grabbed him tight, afraid he’d leave as soon as you let go.

“You spared me back then” you whispered, shivering as you tried to get a hold of him again. "We were still young, but you were already under their influence...”

Illumi clearly began to shake too, making you regret the previous words. Of course they would cause a flashback...

“Do you remember?”

“Vividly.”

Your husband must’ve been sixteen around that time - yet already a completely trained, fearsome assassin.

Who was his target again? He couldn’t remember.

All he knew was that the orders were to “kill the target as well as it’s allies and leave no witnesseses behind”. The job was precize, requiring to act quick to clean up every proof.

And then there was you.

Still in midst of your hunter education, you were assigned by your family to become the bodyguard over that certain politician, following him on his every step.

But now you saw it all in front of you: Illumi, with his hands firmly strangulating your airway.

He hadn’t developed his Nen abilities at the time, therefore having to do the job with his bare hands. And since you were the last one he had to get rid of, there was no need to hurry.

It was a strange feeling to have such a beautiful person writhing underneath him, piercing him with their pleading look.

Somehow it was a shame you had to die so early, and under those circumstances...

Just when you felt yourself passing out from lack of oxygen, you refrained from trying to pull his hands away - and placed one softly on his cheek.

Illumi froze, shocked by your deed. He had taken so many lives, made countless people suffer already...

But you were the only one who looked at him with such kind, sad eyes...absent of any hint of grudge.

You coughed heavily before you were able to corak out the question burning on your tongue: Why did he stopp fulfilling his mission?

"Yes, why...” he asked himself as well, rubbing the cheek you had just stoked. That sensation, the gentleness and affection of your touch was so foreign to him that he completely lost himself for a moment.

“Why didn’t you struggle?” he turned the interrogation around, almost forgetting about the severe situation both of you were in.

“Dunno” you shuddered, just now realizing that you had given in to your fate just seconds ago. “You seemed kind of sad.”

What?!? This must be some kind of trick!

“Does someone force you to do this?” The compassionate expression on your face scared him, making him want to run away from what he did not know. “You don’t seem happy to do this.”

“I don’t feel anything” the teenager scoffed, taken aback by your worry and care. “I am a highfunctioning tool of darkness and nothing more.”

"How sad...” You cracked a weak smile, and it’s brightness was enough to make him flee, your last words still spinning in his head. “I think under different circumstances, I would’ve loved to become your friend!”

You really were something else...flirting with an enemy that tried to kill you?!? Talking about being insane...

“I get now why my family was so much against our marriage...it’s a joke, really...”

It was a mystery how you didn’t recognize him right away, and how you only now remembered. They had to change all the facts, spending a huge amount of money to silence anyone knowing the truth.

Your name got changed, and everyone would have to act like you were their second child - because the one on the mission had died back then.

So the wrath of the Zoldycks wouldn’t caugh up with you to finish their job.

“You liked me...” Illumi let out a shaky breath, “...even back then.”

“Sure!” you now chuckled weakly, trying to brighten the mood. “How could one not fall for those eyes?”

“I tried to kill you.”

“You didn’t.”

Leading his hands to your neck, you wanted to show just how much you trusted him. And immediately, his hands, wandered up to your face, softly suqeezing and stroking it as if he was making sure this wasn’t just a dream or an hallucination. “You’d never hurt me, Lumi. I know that.”

And finally, he cupped your face, hesistantly moving his own closer to yours.

“Is it really okay for me to love you?” he whimpered ever so slightly - but you already pushed your lips onto his until they were inseparable.

“Yes, it is.”

_____

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Feedback is always appreciated!

#Illumi Zoldyck #Illumi Zoldyck x Reader #HxH #Illumi x Reader #Illumi Zoldyck x You #Illumi x You #Illumi/Reader #Illumi/You #Illumi Zoldyck/Reader #Illumi Zoldyck/You #Self Insert #Fanfiction #Writing #Arranged Marriage AU

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ghostofstudentspast · 4 years

Text

One of a kind

Charlie x Reader

Prompts: “Please shut up, I can’t stand how appealing your voice is.”

I have such a soft spot for Charlie Weasley, I think he’s so underrated and deserves so much more love!! So I wrote this little piece that’s completely and utterly filled with fluff. I also wrote it for @summer-writes writing challenge (and you should check her out too because she’s lovely)!

Three days. That’s how long it had taken for you to develop a crush on Charlie Weasley. You’d vaguely remembered him from your days at school but he was two years above you and let’s face it, Hogwarts is a big school.

Now, it was rare to see the two of you apart. You’d joined his team in Romania almost two years ago now. Starting as a glorified intern, you were more than happy to just be around the dragons. Today you were counted as an integral part of your research team. While Charlie focussed more on the handling and transporting of dragons, you were at his side to monitor the creatures’ health. Always the first to clock injuries, diet changes and sicknesses you really were an expert in the dragon department.

Not only were the two of you a wonder team but you got along like old friends. His happy go lucky demeanour sparked your creative side which meant work was never boring. Your sharp tongue counterbalanced his quick wit which meant you were always tossing back and forth a little ball of banter.

You worked together and you were known to take work home. It only made sense when the two of you moved in together a few months into your partnership. You set basic boundaries and you mostly managed to squash the tiny little voice in your head that begged for him to make a move. If being platonic meant you could have Charlie in your life, you were happy to just be friends.

Living together worked out to be a blessing, the only problem was his singing. Not because it was bad, oh no quite the opposite. His voice was gravelly and had such a warm tone to it that it was like fire whiskey to your ears. He was constantly singing, while he cooked, in the shower and even on the job. It got to the point where you would just zone out as soon as you heard his voice. It always gave you butterflies. No not butterflies, they were fully grown dragons flying around in your stomach.

“Y/N!” the object of your thoughts came bursting into your living room, full of energy as always, “there’s a rumour going around that we might be getting a Hungarian horntail in sometime this month!”

He dropped onto the sofa across from the chair you were currently perched on and grinned. The two of you had been busy at work preparing to transfer some dragons in from a sanctuary across the country. It was always exciting when you had new dragons to study and look after but Charlie was especially thrilled each time. You’d never met someone who loved their career as much as he did.

“That’s fantastic Charlie!” you closed the book that had occupied you and watched the curly headed man toss a ball up in the air as you chatted. He always needed something to keep him busy, he always had energy to burn. “I heard there’s some babies coming along as well.”

“I know, it’s fantastic,” he shot you a quick grin, “it’ll be like a brand new addition to our little family.”

“Our family?” you chuckled and raised your eyebrow at him, “that makes you what? Their uncle?”

“Mm yeah, you’re right, we’re like the fun uncle and aunt that the kids can’t wait to see at Christmas,” he stuck his tongue out at you and tossed the ball up again with ease.

“You’re one of a kind Weasley,” you shook your head and stuck your tongue back out at him.

“Then aren’t you lucky you know me?” he winked at you and rolled off the couch to stand up. You weren’t too phased by his flirty personality as much as you were when you first met him but it still kicked up a little blush on your face when he caught you off guard.

“I’m gonna shower and then I’m thinking of making pasta. You know, in case you’re interested.”

“In what, the pasta or the shower?” you flirted back and smirked up at him, “cause those are two very different offers Charles.”

“Hey, I’ll leave that for you to decide darling,” he wiggled his eyebrows and tossed the ball up and down again as he backed out of the room. He turned to leave and yelled a quick, “I’ll be in the shower!”

You smacked yourself in the forehead with your novel as your cheeks coloured red. You let yourself take the five seconds to consider following him before putting the book back in your lap and distracting yourself with the text. He just couldn’t help being flirty, you knew that, it was a part of his personality. You’d be a hypocrite if you didn’t say the same about yourself. But with Charlie it was always slightly different.

“Carbs will fix this,” you muttered, choosing to let your thoughts drift to pasta instead.

And there it was, as if on cue, Charlie singing in the shower. You couldn’t help but smile a little bit as he loudly sang along to whatever was stuck in his head today. He was far from shy and you loved that about him. The man could be comfortable anywhere and never had any shame for being a bit strange.

It was easy to fall in love with him the way you had. He was kind, fun, handsome and practically your best friend. You would be shocked if anyone managed not to fall in love with him if they were in your position. You knew you were basically an old married couple at this point anyway. Last Christmas he’d even taken you home to the Weasleys for a few days to meet his family. Normal, colleague behaviour, right?

“Hey,” Charlie stopped in the doorway on his way to his room, towel wrapped around his waist. It wasn’t rare to see Charlie walking around without a shirt, just as you would often walk around without pants. It was your house. But still, your eyes skipped over his torso and you forced your eyes to stay on his face. “so, yes on the pasta? Maybe some ice cream?”

“You should know you don’t even have to ask at this point Charlie,” you grinned and shooed him out of the room, waving your book at him.

His humming made nice background noise to your reading, trying your hardest to stay focused on the words on the page. Eventually you gave up and decided to see if you could help in the kitchen. There you found Charlie stirring a pan on the stove and humming along to the radio he had playing from the counter.

“You know you have a wand right?” you crossed your arms with an amused smile playing on your lips.

“You know, somehow this seems safer for me,” Charlie barked out a laugh and turned to grin at you, “don’t exactly have a great track record with household magic do I sweetheart?”

“Can’t deny that,” you laughed and pulled some plates out of the cupboard and started setting the little table in the centre of the kitchen. The two of you sitting down to gorge yourself on cheesy goodness.

You often split the chores between you, alternating who cooked for who. It wasn’t really a competition to see who was the better cook between you but if there’s one thing he could cook well it was comfort food. Something that came naturally to the Weasleys was a creating comforting environment so it was no surprise.

“Nope, I got it!” You grabbed Charlie’s plate before he could get up and put it away, “You cooked, I clean.”

“You’re too good to me,” Charlie chuckled and helped bring everything to the sink, “one of these days my mother will demand I marry you.”

You bit the inside of your cheek and turned towards the sink so he couldn’t see your eyes widen. Wouldn’t be so bad Charlie, you thought to yourself. You could hear him continue to hum along from the living room as you flicked your wand over the dirty plates to clean them. He came waltzing back into the kitchen as Frank Sinatra played over the speakers. Reaching out his hands dramatically to serenade you as you leant against the counter and crossed your arms with a smirk.

“Please shut up, I can’t stand how appealing your voice is,” you pretended to plug your ears.

Charlie just shook his head with a grin and continued singing, grabbing your hand to pull you into the kitchen to join him in his dancing.

I could be a king on crown

Humble or poor, rich or renowned

There is nothing I couldn't do

If I had you

You let out a laugh as he spun you towards him and rocked the two of you back and forth. Your hand clasped in his, the other on your waist he danced the two of you through the small kitchen. Resting your head on his shoulder, eyes closed as you listened to him sing along. He smelled like fire and cinnamon and Autumn. A smile was permanently stuck on your face even as your heart skipped a beat.

His hand was warm against yours, scars littered his fingers and forearms along with light freckles from the sun. His thumb stroked the back of your hand as you swayed comfortably, the music fading out.

You opened your eyes to look up at the man who held your heart and were surprised to find him looking back. His hand travelled up to your cheek and his calloused thumb stroked your cheek gently. You held your breath and nuzzled your cheek into his hand.

“I am so insanely in love with you,” he whispered. It was so soft, you’d feared you’d misheard him somehow. “It’s driving me crazy Y/N.”

Without second thought you stood up on your toes and pressed your lips to his. Your arms easily resting on his shoulders, pulling him closer to you as his hands gripped your waist and steadied you. His lips were soft and moved perfectly against yours. You smiled into the kiss and let out a soft chuckle as your forehead came to rest against his, the two of you smiling and laughing breathlessly.

“I love you,” you smiled, “I’m so in love with you,” you let out a joyful laugh as Charlie picked you up with a dopey grin on his face and kissed you again. You wound your hands in his hair as he held you against him.

“Thank god,” he laughed as he set you down, your feet touching the floor again. “there was a moment there where I thought I’d have to find the dragons a new aunt.”

You slapped his chest with a laugh and rolled your eyes at him. He tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear and kissed your forehead it’s a smile. It was everything you could have possibly hoped for with Charlie.

“So you really think my voice is incredibly appealing huh?” he asked with an innocent expression in his face, a gleam of mischief in his eyes.

“Oh shut up,” you laughed as your face flushed again.

“No, In considering a career change now,” he teased, “Yeah I can see it now, Charlie the dragon taming pop star.” he squeezed your hip with his hand.

“Right, you call me when that works out,” you snorted and patted his chest with your hand.

“What if I can’t wait that long to call you?” he smiled at you and kissed the tip of your nose.

“I’m sure we can arrange something,” you smirked and tugged him down by the front of his shirt to kiss him again.

#summerswritingchallenge #harry potter #charlie weasley #charlie x reader #hp headcannon #hp blurbs #hp writing #hp fanfic #harry potter headcannon #harry potter blurb #one shot #dragons

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faorism · 3 years

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needing the au to drop wherein i can commit to writing a historical au,, because since i first watched the db cooper job my mind went straight to OT3! OT3! OT3! (unlike with the van gogh job, since i aint playing with that fucking lieutenant)

one day maybe one dayyyyy i will sit down and i will write the ot3 into that episode's story. so, it'll be the backgrounds for the characters in the flashback (so, stephanie ritter, steve reynolds, and reggie wilkins), but with the necessary personality adjustments (parker, eliot, and hardison respectively). basically, vintage ot3 with some hot as hell aesthetics and secrets and avoiding as much as possible producing copraganda.

so. my thoughts. what i see happening. and this got super long so im throwing this under a cut. and for ease i will call them by their modern day canon names except when making a point.

first, general thoughts about the characters.

and so: steve to eliot. nothing much here on the surface. eliot still volunteers, too much an indoctrinated white man to have been forcibly drafted. so its still one man gone to war. one man come back. eliot would had been noticed early in training for his ability to pick shit up, and they teased at maybe sending him to a special unit. maybe they do, or maybe they don't because they just need to funnel fuckers to the jungle. the vietnam invasion was a terrorist imperialist venture and there's no romanticizing from me about anything done being at all valorous or special or brother-in-arms'y. and eliot commits war crimes under the american stars and stripes instead of just to keep moreau's champaign running. but also maybe moreau is eliot's superior. he certainly would have been rewarded for this ruthlessness. (eliot of course strove to impress moreau because there aint an eliot spencer who wasn't that man's dog at some point, i!!!! dont make the rules). eliot's friend died and eliot's gone off to carry out his wishes and moreau lets him because he Knows eliot is gonna come back. whether its to come back to the same squad, or follow him into deeper spy shit for the military, or to fuck off and go private. then eliot meets parker.

now. stephanie to parker. beth plays normal so well im mad at her, but there's something edgy and strategic about stephanie that i think parker can grab onto. i feel that maybe she was kind of a thief still, but there's more realism to this world so archie wasnt a super secret spy with lasers to practice with, but just a guy with sticky fingers whos a little bored and wants a protege. parker is good really good at what she does, and not having to deal with lasers makes me easy. but she's into scams that are less grifts and more Catch Me If You Can slight of hands. she's always looking for easy money (she was into lifting cars at one point! literally she follows where the crime is). she's doing something in an airport and someone tries to recruit her as a flight attendant because she's got the Look. and yall, flight attendants? that shit was like being a model and an astronaut and a time traveler back then. and according to a teacher i had, who once worked as in the f.a. union, those ladies back in the day were rad and queer and free spirited and runnnnning shit. i think, yes, it's a Job which i think we might resist placing parker into. but! of the jobs, at the time, i really see her rocking it during the time period. (also come on, the opportunities to swindle distracted people of their shit would be endless. they would just think they dropped their stuff in the airport! not that it was stolen.)

finally, reggie to alec. i think hardison will be the hardest to translate. even tho i admittedly listen to a lot of true crime podcasts, i dont know much about fbi life and also definitely don't know about it historically. part of me desperately wants to put him somewhere else even if it does have to stay within the fbi. i might cheat and make him like a Q(uartermaster) to 007/00s like in james bond, and he's like UGH this is horrible god i hate working for the fbi but they will give me funding so...... anyway, here's this totally cool [radio term]. that said, if hardison is stuck in the fbi, why he ends up there is that he is a fucking savant when it comes to research and the man can put together a presentation like no one else. that white man gets all the credit for profiling but it was hardison who goddamn was the google of the microfilm days. reggie felt super square but that might be because he had to deal with mcsweeties db cooper shit day in and day out for years. hardison is more himself. and definitely still a nerd. alec would be into dime fantasy novels and comics and ham radios and oh god he also would be into star trek like the original star trek as it came out and he would be into the zines yes! yessss. omg. also he plays a mean arcade cabinet. but he's mostly well adjusted but lonely. his colleagues dont appreciate him because fbi esp during that time were fucking wilding out and racist as hell aaaaaand im sorry im srry im trying so hard to have fbi hardison make sense but also! acab. ANYWAY.

second, the relationship

i think it would be fun to play with what it means to have parker/eliot start off first and bring in hardison afterwards. (if white collar is your thing, it would be like this canon divergent ot3 fic wherein peter burke is the last to join in.) i feel they would be Super Intense esp since they are carrying this big ass secret. kind of broken and dysfunctional and there's the passion and the commitment, but i think there's also a tenderness that's super hard for them to achieve? and i think there's a way that hardison plays such an important part in who they are and how they are. like, sure i think parker/eliot would have joy but they won't have levity. they would have compassion but they won't have gentleness.

eliot meets hardison after being recruited by nate. i think they get close because while nate and eliot have an interesting and compelling mentorship/friendship, nate is still eliots superior; sometimes its nice to complain about your boss, as hardison will say to eliot to try to make friends. i think hardison and eliot would become legit friends and not just work buddies because they are just not cut out of the same cloth as the rest of their colleagues. they grab beers after work. after hard days, hardison cajoles eliot into going to the arcade. they are friends. real real truly deep best friends, in a way hardison didn't think he could have with a fed and eliot didnt think he would have after his friend died. but also? they are like "buds" who are buds who are desperately tryna to cross any lines because there's a.... tension? an UST between them they dont know what to do with.

parker meets eliot by way of a "lets have my friend for dinner, he's a blast." and immediately immediately hardison is like... wow this woman is beautiful but like, really attracted to her personality. and parker things hardison is kinda dorky but cute dorkie? anyway, they have a puppy love situation growing. and it keeps growing until bam. eliot and parker are like. are we into alec???? fuck we are aren't we.

i think stephanie and steve would never tell reggie (even if somehow they were to be a thing). but parker and eliot? hell yeah they tell hardison. eventually. after a while. sooner than maybe they should. the tension if they should say something is one of the things that build up as UST between them for so long; parker and eliot know they are carrying this huge thing. two huge things. eliot being db cooper and also their massive crush on him.

if i could control myself to stick to a pwp, it would be another christmas. maybe the christmas nine (more?) years down the road. the damn snow grounded hardison's flight back to his nana's, and parker and eliot hear this and invite him over. the egg nog gets flowing and parker eventually is like,, fuck this. and comes onto hardison. and hardison would be like wow wow what but... idk, free love and swinging were In The Thoughts And Minds Of The People. he still checks in with eliot who is like. her body, man; i aint gonna tell her what to do. and for a sec hardison is like, man is this a cuck situation? i guess i can be for it but also...... aint mad if i aint alone. and eliot is so grateful and idk. i just want them all to be happy and having fun and no one to be left out. and yeah i am kinda brushing over a lot of the racial politics which, in a more developed fic rather than a pwp, would definitely need to be brought in; but idk that needs to just be in the bedrock of whatever plot is going into this.

it takes a lot of maneuvering of their lives but they make it work and eventually hardison is a keeper of eliot's secret too.

(apart from the historical aspect, another reason i probably won't actually write this is because i know myself. i would want to do worldbuilding. i would follow eliot and alec to their jobs, but i wouldnt want to write outright copaganda. the grit/realism i would be comfortable with would take a level of research i dont think i can commit to. but if someone wants to take this up or if you figure out a way around this issue, pls do i wont be mad)

#eliot spencer #parker leverage #alec hardison #leverage #thiefsome #okay i srsly am not this active but this week got me wanting to talk and talk about these three beauties #the db cooper job

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streamacademe · 4 years

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Bonus post: Thesis writing.

This post will be a combination of tips and tricks I have received from numerous sources, with the majority coming from Shinton Consulting and STREAM IDC staff.

The big T

If you’re anything like me, just the word ‘thesis’ can instill a sense of dread in me. However, the best way to deal with a phobia is to face it head on, so let’s do just that, both in a literal and metaphorical sense.

What a thesis is and what to expect...

Writing a thesis could take anywhere between four weeks to a whole year, and sometimes even longer! The worst thing you can do is compare your progress to that of others; setting a benchmark is one thing, but beating yourself into a panicked pulp because you haven’t written as many chapters as a fellow PhD/EngD won’t do you any good. The best thing you can do is have regular discussions with your supervisors on how long your thesis will take and plan accordingly. 🕖

Your thesis has to be fit for purpose (that is to pass), which means that it has to:

Satisfy the expectations of your institution and industry sponsor (if applicable).

How did you solve the problem that was proposed to you?

Contain material which presents a unified body of work that could reasonably be achieved on the basis of three years’ postgraduate study and research.

Show you have done the work and impress your examiners.

Allow your examiners to confirm that the thesis is an original work, which makes a significant contribution to the field, including material worthy of publication.

Research your examiners and quote them where possible, especially if they’re relevant to your field.

Show adequate knowledge of the field of study and relevant literature.

Make sure you read all of the key papers in your field.

What were the gaps in knowledge?

The ‘references’ section is very important as this sets the scene and examiners will read this. BUT, don’t have too many references.

Demonstrate critical judgement with regard to both the candidate’s work and that of other scholars in the same general field.

Compare approaches and conclusions of others.

Note potential conflicts of interest.

Why did you use this method/approach?

Is your interpretation the only possible explanation?

Be presented in a clear, consistent, concise, and accessible format.

Make your examiners lives easier.

Make your viva as pleasant as can be!

Basically, you need to know why your project was important, be able to explain the key work that has already been done in the area and how it relates to your research aim. You should then be able to explain what you have done during your research and how this contributes to your field.

Note: Keep checking university regulations! Each university should have their own code of practice for supervisors and research students, which will look something like this.

Picture: A short summary of the above. Source: Tumblr.

Planning and writing

I’m not going to lie to you, it is not going to be easy. I have only just embarked on the journey myself and am already overwhelmed. However, with the right preparation, coping mechanisms in place, and a tremendous amount of self-discipline, we will get through. ☕

Getting started

You need to practice writing. That’s as simple as advice gets.

You need to practice reading other PhD/EngD theses, mainly to understand what to expect, and to experience what being the audience for a thesis is like.

Create a thesis plan...

To start the mammoth task that is thesis writing, it needs to be fully understood and broken down into manageable chunks.

Make a plan (perhaps based on the table of contents of another thesis) of all the sections and chapters in the thesis.

Then break these into sections and keep breaking it down until you are almost at the paragraph level.

Now you can start writing!

Where to start the actual writing?

Start with the most comfortable chapter, such as a previously published paper, a set of results that are straightforward and can be easily explained, methodology/methods, etc.

Create a storyboard for your thesis and write as if you are telling that story.

If you’re not sure what comes next, refer to previous theses and back to your plan and storyboard.

Be ready to amend the plan for future chapters as each is completed and you become more aware of what the thesis must contain.

Remember: THINKING IS HARD, WRITING IS EASIER. 💭

Organisation

Develop and maintain a logical filing system.

Improve your back up technique; if it’s not saved in 3+ locations, it is not safely backed up.

Back up every day.

Never overwrite previous documents, just make many versions. It’s not worth the risk of losing a valuable piece of work from a copy and paste error.

Copy any key parts from your lab/note/field books as these can get lost/damaged.

Keep a file/folder of thoughts, references, etc. that you are not including in your thesis; these may be useful to refer back to for ideas and information.

Effective writing

Establish a routine, don’t be distracted, take breaks.

Set clear and realistic goals for each week/day.

A GANTT chart is very good for this; use it to keep on track and measure progress.

You just gotta start. The hardest part is the beginning.

Don’t stall on details, walk away for a short break to clear your mind.

Get formatting correct from the start (check your code of practice/regulations).

Be consistent with references.

Seek help from the experts - supervisors, postdocs, online sources/training programmes etc.

Create SMART objectives for your writing process:

Specific - e.g. “I will complete chapter 3/collate all diagrams” rather than “I will make good progress”.

Measurable - e.g. “I will write 4 pages today” not “I will try to write as much as I can”.

Achievable - e.g. “I will complete the first draft for my supervisor” not “I will get it perfect before he/she sees it”.

Realistic - e.g. “I will complete the introduction today” not “I will complete a chapter a week”.

Time - it can be useful to set yourself deadlines e.g. tell your supervisor you will hand in a draft on a certain day - that way you are sure to have it done.

Finally, find a balance between being tough with yourself whilst protecting your well-being the best you can. I wrote a post a little while ago that covers managing your mental health during a PhD. Read it here.

GIF: Anna Kendrick dishing out some top advice. Source: Tumblr.

A few more tips

Supervisor management

Establish what you want to cover in each meeting.

Keep a record of the outcomes and actions from those meetings.

Make your supervisors lives easy; they’re very busy humans.

They are unlikely to judge work unless it is presented completely (i.e. fully written with tables, figures, etc.).

Give them a neat, complete version of a chapter at a time (proof-read thoroughly and spell-checked).

It is in your supervisors interest for you to complete in good time; they are experts and will offer a lot of support.

To summarise, a good thesis:

Has an appreciation of what came before.

Focuses on the interesting and important.

Is well reasoned.

Will change the way people think.

Will teach your supervisors something.

Has publishable results.

Is logical in presentation, analysis, and arguments.

Is well illustrated with tables, figures, graphs, summary flow charts etc.

It is worth spending a lot of time on these.

Is written without grammatical and spelling errors.

Has an appreciation of what comes next.

I hope that the above was helpful! There are many resources out there, so get exploring if you need more advice!

I’ll soon be writing a post on how to survive your viva! So, watch this space. ✨

Photo: Make this your phone/desktop/laptop/everything background when you’re writing, I know I will! Source: Tumblr.

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greatestheights · 4 years

Text

big, sad life updates below.

it's legit been years since I've been on tumblr in a meaningful way, and I've missed all of you a ton. too, I've missed fandom, and losing myself in fiction.

I've gotten a couple queries about some things via private messenger over the years, questions that I responded to sparingly or not at all. not because I was trying to be secretive or ignore people, but because I didn't know what to say.

I'm planning to be here more now, and because my life is pretty tough rn, that's bound to come up. I wanted to write this out now so that if need be I can just link to it, or just so people know what's up. there really is no need to respond if you don't know what to say. tbh, it also helps me to write it out. that alone is cathartic enough.

so. here we go. I no longer know how to insert "read more" links via mobile (or if they exist anymore), so here's where I tell you to keep scrolling now if you need to. consider this a broad trigger warning for mental health, eating disorders, mentions of addiction, and death of a child.

a list of things that have happened since July of 2018, aka the last time I was active on tumblr:

my husband and I took emergency custody of our niece, K, who was two-and-a-half at the time. K is my husband's sister's biological child. my sister-in-law is a long-time heroin addict who became homeless and relapsed; we took K so the state wouldn't. in that time, we have become her legal guardians and more importantly, her parents. at this point, it looks likely that K will be ours forever. she is now a bright, incredibly adorable 4.5-year-old with an unending supply of energy and a passion for fierce rainbow unicorns. we are lucky to be her mom and dad.

immediately after K came to us, I started grad school and we moved states (AZ ➡️ CO again). I am one thesis defense and two term papers shy of a master's in journalism. I'm primarily an audio journalist and have spent the last two years reporting and producing podcasts and radio stories.

I spent the winter and spring of 2019 in the hospital (as well as partial-hospitalization and intensive outpatient programs), where I was treated for anorexia and PTSD. I basically did nothing but therapy all day every day from January through August of 2019. like most important things in life, recovery is the hardest and also the best thing I've ever done for myself.

in December of 2019, I found out I was pregnant, due August 17. it was the best time of my life so far. I was emotionally and physically stable, kicking ass at grad school, and producing stories for a local community radio station on the reg. when the pandemic hit, my mental health started to tank, but I was still relatively stable — focused on taking care of K, getting ready to defend my thesis, and my work as a research assistant for two journalists.

in April, my son, Ronan (Roo), was born extremely prematurely at 23 weeks gestation after I suffered a very serious complication. it was unclear at first if either of us would survive, but we did. Roo fought extremely hard in the NICU. he was strong, and beautiful, and surprising. he made me laugh every day. the best moments of my life were the times I was allowed to hold him.

in early June, at six weeks old exactly, Roo died in my arms after contracting a horrific infection he could not fight. and there isn't much more to say, honestly. it is the worst. no silver linings, no sugar coating: I'm not sure how to survive. right now, I'm spending most of my days distracting myself with fiction and reddit, ignoring my thesis, and wishing time would just stop speeding ahead so goddamn fast.

so. that's it. if you read this far, bless you. I'm not even sure why I felt the need to write all of this out, except for the fact that it helps to be honest when your life is falling apart. the more vulnerable and open I am, the better I feel. and the more I talk about K and Roo, the more connected to both of them I feel.

parenthood is the scariest thing that's ever happened to me, but I also wouldn't trade a moment of it. even the nightmare parts. even the days spent grieving, the nights spent wrangling a tantruming preschooler into the bath, the moments where I've had to face the reality of how cruel and random and completely fucking unfair life can be.

thanks for listening. I'm not out of the hole yet by any means, but as we all know, it helps to have company down there in the dark.

#long post #where i've been for two damn years #we get better #k #roo #personal

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inawickedlittletown · 4 years

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And...They Were Zoommates (one-shot)

Summary: Buck and Eddie work for the same company but have never met until working from home during the covid-19 pandemic has them using zoom video conferences.

Ship: Buck/Eddie

Words: 7,729

Rating: G

Notes: I blame a few people over at the buddie discord for this fic happening.

With the state of the world being what it is, quarantine fic seems inevitable and I wanted to write something fluffy and happy. I will admit that I'm not super pleased with this fic but I'm posting it anyway. Enjoy.

Read on Ao3

The memo went out on a Monday. Everyone was going to be working from home and they had two days to prepare everything and make their work remote. Buck had been waiting for it to happen. It was a matter of time after the schools were shut down followed by the libraries and then curfews were put on bars and nightclubs. And then as the numbers of infected kept rising, most places started trying to figure out how to make their staff work from home.

The whole thing wasn’t going to be ideal, but if it meant that more people weren’t out and about getting exposed to Covid-19, well, Buck figured that it was probably a good thing. Buck had done his research, after all, and he knew that it was more than just a flu and that while the WHO didn’t want to call it a Pandemic yet, they soon would. He also knew that in the states things were going to go bad and fast.

A few days later, Buck had set up a work-station at his apartment. His work laptop was going to remain at his kitchen island so that Buck would feel like he was going somewhere to go to work. He was going to get up at his usual time and maintain his routine partly because he knew it would drive him crazy if he didn’t, but also because a lot of his work was going to require video conferencing and Buck was not going to show up on one of those calls in his PJs.

On day one, he spent about an hour figuring out what the hell Zoom was.

Then, he spent another hour trying to log in because for some reason it just wouldn’t let him.

After that, Buck finally had access to his work and then he dived into what he needed to get done for the day. A bit of time into it, he got an email about the meeting that had gone from in person at the office to a video conference.

Looking at the email thread, he was not the only one having issues with logging into things and figuring out Zoom.

The thing about the quarantine and the work from home order was that it had come at a horrible time for them. It was absolutely necessary and they all understood that, but it was happening just as they were taking on a big project that required the work of many different departments at the office. Buck didn’t think he even knew any of the people he was going to be working with other than his boss. That was the part that made him just a little bit nervous and unsettled. Group projects had always been the bane of his existence back when he was in school and he sort of suspected that this was going to end up being a similar experience.

—

“So, you’re going to be working here, Daddy?”

Eddie was in the middle of setting up his computer and making sure that he had all the right paper files out. Working from home wasn’t going to be ideal, but Eddie was thankful that he could do it. He couldn’t imagine how else he would have been able to handle things with Christopher out of school and on top of that knowing that his abuela was one of those at risk people so the last thing Eddie wanted was to have to saddle her with watching Christopher.

“I am, kid. So while you’re doing school, I’ll be doing work. And then we can have lunch together.”

“This is very silly, Daddy.”

Eddie chuckled. “It is, isn’t it? But, remember I told you, it’s so that everyone can be safe and so that people don’t get sick.”

“I know,” Christopher said.

Eddie ruffled his hair and then nudged him to go back to where he’d been working on what looked to be a math packet. While Christopher went to do that, Eddie got himself set up, but he went to check on Chris a moment later and it was always just to impressive how smart his son was.

When he got an email about the video conference, he left Christopher to his math and went back to the laptop. Logging in was a task and a half and Eddie emailed his frustrations to the others until he finally got the thing to work and at least it didn’t seem like he was the only one struggling.

By the time that they had all made it onto the conference call, they were starting the meeting late by about forty five minutes. In that time, Christopher had at least managed to keep himself working and not get too distracted, but Eddie was just waiting for it to happen. It was why he’d left out some apple slices for him as a snack that might keep him from bothering Eddie.

“Hello, everyone,” Bobby said. “I know this is going to be unconventional and probably make some of us want to tear our hair out, but we’re going to pull this off. It just requires that we all try our hardest to communicate with each other.”

Eddie wasn’t new to the job, but his job was pretty isolated. So while he knew Bobby because he was their boss, he didn’t know anyone else on the call. He knew Howie — Chim — by reputation alone because he was Bobby’s right hand man but he didn’t know Henrietta or Evan. Henrietta liked to be called Hen and she was the most relaxed of all of them, looking like she was just chilling out on her sofa. Bobby looked to be in a home office type space and he’d gone through the trouble of putting on a collared shirt and tie. Chim was in an AC/DC t-shirt and out on a balcony of all places. Evan — who apparently went by Buck for some reason — was missing the tie to his button up, but the look was good on him. Just a bit put together. It was Buck that Eddie would be working closest with. He seemed friendly and nice enough but also very very attractive.

—

Buck didn’t think he’d ever written or replied to so many emails in his life as he did in the first three days of working from home.

The whole thing had been confusing for Sebastian, his dog, who didn’t seem to really understand why Buck was waking up and doing the whole shower, coffee, spending ten minutes staring into the abyss of his fridge every morning before taking him out on a walk, returning to the apartment and then not leaving. After the third day, Sebastian seemed to get over it.

By day four, Buck was sort of getting sick of going to work in the kitchen. So, he moved to the living room which worked for about a half hour before Sebastian decided it was a good time to try and get a belly rub which led to no work. He did eventually get some done later when he went back into the kitchen for a Zoom conference with Bobby.

Taking Sebastian out on walks was basically the only time that Buck was going out. and it was weird how the usually busy streets were empty. He’d been smart about getting enough food to last him a few weeks back before the working from home thing started and Buck was reluctant to go out to any grocery store when he heard all the horror stories about how packed those places were. But since Buck wanted to keep Sebastian on his usual schedule, it meant that he really only went outside three times a day and not for very long at all.

It wasn’t like Buck even had any real down time when he had to be in meetings or responding to emails or just doing his own solo work. The person that he was mostly emailed was someone he’d never met or worked with before. Eddie Diaz. The first time he’d even laid eyes on the guy was in the initial video conference.

On the morning of day five, it was an email from Eddie that woke Buke.

Hey,

Let me know when you have time and we can get on Zoom. I figure we can go over everything we’ve done so far.

-Eddie Diaz

Buck went through his morning routine which included push ups and sit ups and a bit of stretching before he got in the shower, got dressed and went down for breakfast but more importantly coffee. Sebastian ate when Buck served him some kibble and then they went out for their morning walk. Buck emailed Eddie back as soon as he’d made it back into the apartment.

They settled for a Zoom conference in an hour and Buck started preparing everything he’d worked on to share with Eddie. Their collaboration was pretty much imperative for the whole project to work.

Seeing someone through a computer — especially a stranger someone — was odd. He’d seen Eddie before at this point, but they hadn’t had a one on one video call.

“Hi,” Eddie said. “How are you?”

“Uh, good. You? How’s this whole quarantine working out for you?”

Eddie shrugged his shoulders. “It is what it is. Anyway, so I figure we both have to be on the same page.”

“Yes. Definitely.”

It was a little awkward until they started talking about the project and then everything just fell into professionalism. Still, Buck had eyes and he could tell even through the screen that Eddie was attractive. He smiled with all his teeth and his eyes were warm and expressive and Buck could tell that Eddie was as passionate as Buck was about the project.

“So, we touch in every day?” Buck asked.

“Yes. Video probably works best. Text always leads to misunderstandings.”

“You’re right about that.”

Sebastian chose that moment to bark and when Buck looked at the clock, he was about due for a walk. Before the work from home thing happened, Buck had a dog walker that stopped by every day to take Sebastian out.

“Oh, is that your dog?” Eddie asked.

“Yup. Letting me know it’s time for his walk,” Buck said with a roll of his eyes.

Eddie chuckled. “I’m sure he’s happy to have you at home.”

“Probably. Or maybe he’s missing the dog walker.”

Eddie laughed again and when he laughed he looked stupid pretty. “I’ll let you get to your dog, then, Buck. See you tomorrow?”

“Yeah. See you tomorrow.”

—-

On day six of quarantine, Eddie had to leave the house. He’d been so busy in the days leading up to the work from home order that he hadn’t had much time to actually stock up on much of anything. Usually that was fine because Eddie wasn’t much of a cook and he relied on whatever his abuela cooked and then pushed Eddie to take home with him. Then there was also Carla who took care of Christopher and not only did the shopping but then the cooking too. Eddie just tended to rely on ordering in, but doing that every day was both bad for his wallet and probably not good for him or his kid.

The only annoying part about all of it was that he was going to have to take Christopher out. Eddie would have preferred otherwise, but he didn’t want to bother his abuela or Carla. It was just a matter of being very careful. But before they could go out, Eddie needed to do his daily call with Buck.

“Okay, buddie, I want you to get working on your reading, okay? I have to do work for a bit but then we’re going shopping.”

He set up the computer and went and grabbed himself a glass of water before he initiated the call. He almost laughed when Buck picked up.

So far, Buck had always been dressed as if he were actually going to the office. Polos and button ups and nice sweaters, but on this day he’d apparently given up on that because he was in a dark tank top and his hair had gained a bit of curl to it.

“Hi,” Buck said. “Sorry I look a mess.”

“You look fine,” Eddie said. “I usually look a mess, so it’s a nice change.”

“Funny,” Buck said.

Eddie just shook his head at him. “No, it’s fine. You look fine.”

Better than fine, probably, since Buck was just effortlessly attractive and there was something about the dishevelled look that really did it for Eddie.

They got to business talk, answering questions and suggesting things for the next phase of the project. They were actually both doing well with their deadlines. Of course with the whole Covid-19 thing getting worse and worse, no one knew if rollout would go on as planned.

“And what else are up to today?” Buck asked once the business talk was over.

“I have to go grocery shopping,” Eddie said. “Kinda a hassle because I have a son.”

“Wait, you have a kid?” Buck said, he practically shouted it and his eyes widened. “Sorry. I just...I really love kids.”

Eddie chuckled. “Yeah, he’s eight. His mom’s not in the picture, so it’s just the two of us.”

“And you’re going to take him out?” Buck asked, frowning. “You know how crazy the stores are right now, right?”

“Kinda unavoidable. Can’t leave him home alone and I don’t have anyone to watch him and we need to get a few things.”

“For your sake, I hope you’re not hoping to find toilet paper,” Buck said.

Eddie rolled his eyes. “No. Small mercies. I bought some before all this madness. Just after food, really.”

“So get it delivered. There’s apps for that now.”

Eddie hadn’t even considered that possibility but Buck was right. “You know, I think you just made my day a lot easier.”

“Good. I’m glad. Anything to help you, man.”

“Thanks,” Eddie said. “And what are you up to?”

The thing about talking to Buck was that it gave him a connection to the outside world. Sure Eddie called abuela and his tia every day to check in with them and see how they were doing or if they needed anything but that felt different than talking to Buck. Even talking to his parents who were in a whole other state or his sisters — when they felt like answering the phone — was less stimulating. Maybe it was because they were family and Buck wasn’t.

“I am hanging out with Sebastian for the day and catching up on some Netflix. Might bake something. I’ve been having the worst sweet tooth but unless I eat straight sugar, I don’t have anything sweet in this house.”

“Sebastian is...”

“My dog,” Buck said with a grin. “I know, human name. No one gets it but my favorite Disney movie is—”

“The Little Mermaid,” Eddie finished for him.

“Exactly.”

Eddie shook his head at Buck. ��Okay, I’m going to figure out this grocery delivery thing.”

“It might not be same day,” Buck said. “Maybe it depends.”

“I have enough food to get by for at least a few more days. But better to get this out of the way.”

“Yup,” Buck said.

“And what about you? Did you go out and stock up before all of this?”

Buck rubbed at his neck in what was clearly a nervous habit. “I bought a lot of stuff,” he said. “But I figured it was best to with all that’s going on. Really, it’s our responsibility to stay home right now. And it doesn’t look like this will be over any time soon.”

“It doesn’t,” Eddie said. He kind of hated admitting that because it meant that things wouldn’t get back to normal faster.

Eddie just wasn’t too big a fan of spending a lot of time in doors. That just wasn’t who he was. And Christopher had already been asking about going to the park. Eddie had taken him outside into the yard for a while every day but he could tell that Christopher was getting bored of that and bored of not being able to see his friends.

“Okay, I’ll go figure that out now. I’ll email you if I have any questions.”

Buck rolled his eyes. “Just video chat me. I’m kind of liking this a lot more than I expected.”

It took Eddie about twenty minutes before he called Buck to ask for help.

—-

On days seven and eight, Buck binged an entire show on Netflix. He got no work done, but he did manage to talk to Eddie for a part of his day. It was practically becoming routine. Sebastian had even decided to make an appearance and Eddie couldn’t praise Sebastian enough.

“He’s gorgeous,” Eddie said.

Sebastian was a cocker spaniel mixed with golden retriever. It was easy to see the different breeds in him and in Buck’s opinion it only made him cuter and it helped that when Buck adopted him, he was already well trained that he didn’t have to put too much effort into getting him to listen.

On day ten, Eddie video called him for a second time late at night while Buck was in the middle of making dinner. He was in the middle of mashing potatoes but he still grabbed his laptop and set it up somewhere that the camera could see him.

“Hey,” Buck said. “Anything going on?”

“Not with work,” Eddie said. “Just — okay, so I’m a horrible cook and the internet isn’t exactly helping.”

“What is it?” Buck asked.

“What does fold mean? Oh...I’m making chocolate mousse.” He panned the camera to where he’d already whipped some cream.

“That’s ambitious,” Buck said with a grin. “And folding just means that you mix it very gently.”

He gave Eddie instructions as he did it and it was definitely an experience to help someone cook — well, mix — something while not being present.

“Thank you so much, Buck. I had no idea who else to ask.”

“Really. I was your best option?”

Eddie shrugged. “My abuela has never made mousse in her life. She makes Mexican things so. And my sisters would never let me live this down.”

“Ah. So I’m the least embarrassing option.”

“I suppose.”

At that moment a kid ran right into the shot. He was small with curly blond-ish hair, and glasses.

“Daddy, is it ready?” the boy asked.

Eddie’s son was adorable. He was also disabled but it was very clear that it wasn’t something that defined him. And the way that Eddie looked at his son, it warmed Buck’s heart. There was just so much love between them that it was palpable.

“Almost, Christopher. How about you go wash your hands?”

“Okay.”

He left again and Buck could hear — now that he knew — the way that his crutches clinked on the floor.

“That’s Christopher,” Buck said.

“Oh. Yes. That’s my son.”

“He’s adorable, Eddie. Like I said, I love kids.”

Eddie smiled wide, his teeth showing. “Yeah...well that one is my world.”

“And you said the mother isn’t in the picture?” Buck asked.

Eddie shook his head. “No. She’s not. We’re divorced actually, but I have no clue where she is now. I don’t think I would even let her see him if she came looking. Not when she’ll just leave him again. I, um, I have primary custody and she didn’t even try to fight me on it.”

“That sucks, man. Poor kid.”

Eddie gave a nod. “He still talks about her sometimes but I think he understands she isn’t coming back.”

It had to be hard raising a disabled child with an absentee mother. It made Buck admire Eddie even more.

Eddie kept him on the call even when his son came back and he’d placed a couple of spoons of the chocolate mousse on a small bowl.

“And what are you cooking over there, Buck?”

“Mashed potatoes,” Buck said, “to go with my chicken breast. And maybe I’ll make a salad too.”

“So you’re eating a healthy meal and I’m over here hoping my kid doesn’t start jumping off the walls after all that sugar.”

“I hope that’s not all you’re having for dinner,” Buck said.

“No. We had sandwiches earlier. That’s really the extent of my cooking. And he knows it too. Doesn’t expect much.”

They stayed up talking that night while Buck got his dinner together and even as Buck started to eat. For Buck it practically feelt natural to have Eddie there on his computer. He didn’t care that he was wearing a stained t-shirt and that he hadn’t bothered with his hair all day and that Eddie was going to watch him as he ate.

They talked about the virus because it wasn’t a topic anyone could easily escape, and then Buck told Eddie that his sister was actually a nurse.

“She’s right in the thick of this. I’m so worried she’ll catch it but she just says it’s the hazard of the job. And it’s not like I could even stop by her place to see her now. I just worry.”

“Well tell her I admire her a lot for working through this time.”

“Thanks,” Buck said. “I’ll pass that along.”

Eventually the conversation topic switched to something else until Buck’s plate was completely clean and yet he and Eddie just kept talking. Eddie told him about his family in Texas and then about his abuela and tia.

“It’s my cousins that are really taking care of them,” Eddie said. “They get it. I have Christopher and everything. But I just hope they’re both okay after all of this since it seems like it’s harder on anyone that’s older.”

“I’m sure they will be,” Buck said. “It’s all about staying home.”

“Yeah.” Eddie said. “Abuela gets stir crazy. So do I, to be honest.”

—-

Day eleven was a bit of a hard day. He and Eddie didn’t talk at all but Maddie called him in tears because one of her patients died. He spent over an hour on the phone with her talking about it. The virus really wasn’t something to take lightly. After being reprimanded to stay home — even though he already was — Maddie let him go.

On day twelve they had a big conference call with everyone working on the project. Bobby wanted information from everyone and it was lucky that he and Eddie shared everything with each other because when Eddie didn’t appear on the call, Buck was able to show them everything from his end. He tried not to display how worried he was, but he did send an email Eddie’s way. There was no response.

Not hearing from Eddie made him antsy. It made him want to leave his apartment and go over to Eddie’s to make sure that he was okay. Buck with everything going on, Buck knew that he couldn’t be rash like that.

It was on day fourteen that first thing in the morning, Eddie video called.

“Oh my god, are you okay?” Buck asked before Eddie could even say hello.

“I’m fine. I should have emailed you, I guess. Things got a little out of hand. My cousin has the virus so I’ve been basically stuck on the phone because my tia Pepa was in contact with her and so abuela is freaking out. Pepa doesn’t seem to be showing any symptoms but she’s getting tested today and of course all the other family wanted to make sure I hadn’t been exposed or Christopher. So I’ve been a bit busy. But you were worried?”

Buck knew he was blushing. “I may have worried a little.”

“Or a lot,” Eddie said with a smile. “It’s cute.”

“Well, we’re in quarantine, what else was I supposed to do?”

Eddie just shrugged, but his smile was pleased and Buck was starting to figure out that he maybe didn’t have any friends like Eddie. That maybe Eddie was more than a friend or someone that could be more than a friend.

“How’s your sister doing?”

“She’s still working and still holding on. I don’t know how she can be this strong.”

Eddie nodded along. “It’s amazing, isn’t it? How strong someone can be — how amazing it is to be witness of that? Christopher is probably the strongest person I know.”

“I can imagine,” Buck said. “What, um, what is—”

“He has CP,” Eddie said. “But that hasn’t stopped him from doing anything he wants to do.”

The way that Eddie smiled when he talked about Christopher was almost enough to have Buck smitten. The thing was that he’d never connected with anyone the way that he connected to Eddie. Buck hoped that when it was all over, he wouldn’t lose the friendship or any of what he was hoping was building between them.

—-

By the time that it had been twenty one days on quarantine — a whole three weeks — Eddie was just about ready to tear his hair off. His growing hair because due to everything but essential businesses remaining open the likelihood of finding a hair salon was low. Eddie didn’t really mind that his hair got longer, it just meant that there were more steps to taking care of it. And even though all he really did these days was watch movies with his son, Eddie still felt like he needed to look good. None of it had anything to do with how he and Buck were still video chatting every day and the length of those calls kept growing and growing.

Work had pretty much come to a stand still. The project was nearly finished but without a rollout date there wasn’t much for them to do. It meant that things were getting boring.

He and Christopher had done as much as possible to not get bored. They went outside for an hour most days even if it was just to sit out in the sun. It just felt nice to get outside sometimes.

Other days they watched movies or shows or Christopher did some drawing and played with his toys. Buck was also there for most things through the screen of his computer or phone. Buck made things a bit more bearable even if Eddie could tell that he was also stir crazy. The only time that Buck went out was to walk Sebastian, but on a few occasions even while out on a walk he would call Eddie and Eddie would get a glimpse of the nearly empty streets.

“I wish I could be out there with you,” Eddie said on a sunny day. Day twenty three of quarantine.

Buck was on a walk with Sebastian and it was eerie how everything looked just a tad too empty.

“When this is all over we can go on the longest walk,” Buck said. “We can visit every ice cream shop and any taqueria. We can do anything you want.”

“Eager to meet me in person, Buck?”

“Maybe a little,” Buck said and he was just so completely honest.

Eddie would be lying if he didn’t feel something for Buck. There was the friendship they’d formed and the fondness but there was more too. Maybe it was because they were so open with each other and maybe a bit vulnerable, but it was also that Buck was sweet and wonderful and that he genuinely seemed interested in Christopher.

Eddie would forever remember what happened on what must have been day seventeen or maybe it was sixteen — the days were really blurring together — when Christopher had gotten curious about why Eddie was laughing.

“I’m just talking to a friend. A coworker.”

“A friend?” Christopher asked.

“Yeah. Hey, Buck, you want to meet Christopher?”

“Of course.”

Eddie knew that Buck said that he liked kids, but he didn’t expect the patience or the interest that Buck bestowed on Christopher. He didn’t seem to mind listening to Christopher talk about homeschooling or even a silly story about the bunny they’d spotted out in the yard a few days earlier.

Buck was just wonderful. He asked about Christopher every single call and if Christopher wasn’t busy with schoolwork then sometimes Buck would just talk to Christopher. Buck was just kind of perfect.

“Are you for real, you want to meet up once we can leave our houses?” Eddie asked.

Buck chuckled and he ducked his head. His cheeks were noticeably pink even through the phone and Eddie really really liked him. He was adorable.

“Yes, Eddie. Or should I say, Edmundo.”

Eddie rolled his eyes. “I told you that with so much confidence and if you keep bringing it up I’m just going to start calling you Evan.”

“Fine. But, yeah, Eddie. I think you’re one of my closest friends.”

“That’s just quarantine talk,” Eddie said.

Even though for him, it wasn’t. It couldn’t be. The way that he felt about Buck...the way that he felt happy whenever he saw Buck was calling, it made Eddie so absolutely sure that it was more than friendship because they were relying on each other for outside contact.

“It’s not,” Buck said in all seriousness. “I like you, Eddie. And I think if we had met in any other way I would have liked you then too.”

Talking about his feelings had never been easy for Eddie. What Shannon did to him and Christopher had maybe made that so much worse.

So it was hard to say it, but Eddie felt like he would burst if he didn’t. “I like you too.”

“Is that a blush?” Buck asked with a goofy grin that told Eddie that Buck was pleased.

“I’m going to go now. I’ll talk to you later,” Eddie said because he didn’t know if he could keep talking to Buck without being a mess.

—-

He felt like he could fly, like the butterflies in his stomach from the first moment that he told Eddie he liked him, were ready to just lift him right off the ground.

And Eddie saying that he liked him too, it nearly killed him to hear it and Buck just wanted for Eddie to be sure that Buck did mean it.

So with very little to do for work and boredom creeping into almost everything he did, Buck started to plan. There was a way to use Zoom for screen sharing and Buck had helped Eddie with his grocery order so he knew where Eddie lived. He also knew that Eddie and Christopher were both fans of chocolate.

So Buck called up a local bakery and ordered cupcakes to be delivered to Eddie that night. The girl on the phone seemed entirely pleased with getting the order at all and it made Buck wonder how much business they were actually having. It made him order some cupcakes for himself as well.

Then he browsed through Netflix for something that Eddie would enjoy but that Christopher could watch too. He found a few different choices and figured he’d just offer Eddie a choice and then he went and got ready. Cleaning himself up a bit and even shaving the growing beard on his face. Then he put on one of his favorite shirts and went down and got his laptop and settled himself on his couch. He got up only when his cupcakes arrived, being just dropped off at his door which meant that Eddie would get his soon too. Buck was going to wait for Eddie to just call him after it arrived.

The call came just ten minutes later. It was Eddie and Christopher. Christopher had clearly already eaten a cupcake because there was frosting on his nose.

“You got them?” Buck asked.

“Yeah. Buck, I — you’re incredible. You know?”

Buck smiled at them. “And just wait, I have a whole night planned for us. A quarantine date, if you will.”

“Daddy, what’s that?”

“What?” Eddie asked.

“What Buck just said.”

Watching Eddie with Christopher and the way that he was such a good dad, it did things to Buck. Buck had always loved kids. He didn’t get a lot of opportunity to be around kids, but he’d always wanted to be a dad. Someday. Maddie often said that it was mostly because he was such a kid that he got along so well with most children. And Buck could tell that Eddie was a good dad. It somehow made him even more attractive.

—-

When the doorbell rang, Eddie had almost expected it to be one of his cousins or maybe his tia. Instead, he opened it and found a cardboard box from a bakery and atop it an envelope with a note. Eddie took it all into the kitchen, gave the outside of the box a wipe with some lyrol surface wipes and then opened the envelope and pulled out a small card.

Eddie,

I figure why wait for our first date? I’m sending you something sweet for you and Christopher and I’m setting up a movie date for the three of us.

Call me when you get this, I’ll be waiting.

-Buck

Eddie had never experienced someone like Buck before. Eddie just hadn’t expected for Buck to make a gesture like this and it was just unattached to any expectations and Buck just included Christopher like it was the natural thing to do.

“Daddy, what is it?” Christopher asked.

“My friend. You remember from the computer?”

“Buck!” Christopher yelled out.

“Yes, that one. He sent us a present.”

Chistopher made a noise in excitement and Eddie chuckled before he opened the box. There were twelve cupcakes inside, each expertly frosted and they were clearly themed. Eddie shook his head and tried not to laugh when he looked at them. There were four rows and each of the rows were decorated differently. The first one was blue frosting with a single roll of toilet paper sitting at the top. The next one had a spray bottle. The one after that had a face mask. The last had hearts.

“Can I have one, Daddy? Please?”

Eddie gave in and let Christopher pick out his treat. Then he went and grabbed his laptop to call Buck.

“You got them?” Buck asked the moment he appeared on the screen.

“Yeah. Buck, I — you’re incredible. You know?”

Buck smiled at them. He looked good. The scruff that had been growing on his jaw was gone but his hair was still a bit on the curlier side and Buck had explained that it was because it was getting long. Eddie loved it.

“And just wait, I have a whole night planned for us. A quarantine date, if you will,” Buck said, his smile was so wide and Eddie wished that they were in the same place because if they were he might have kissed him.

“Daddy what’s that?” Christopher asked. He was right in the view of the camera and his face was a little messy from the cupcake he was eating.

“What?” Eddie asked.

“What Buck just said.”

“It means that since we can’t leave the house we’re going to stay here and he’s going to stay at his apartment but we’re going to hang out. How does that sound, kiddo?”

“Fun,” Christopher said.

Eddie looked back at the screen. “So, what does this date entail?”

Buck smiled at him. “Okay, so I did a bit of research and I was going to try to use Netflix Party for this but then we’d lose the video chat aspect. But we can do screen sharing with Zoom so how about a movie date?”

“Sounds perfect, Buck.”

Buck grinned. “Awesome.”

It was perfect in a weirdly unconventional way. Buck had picked out movies that were Christopher friendly and with Christopher right there, they had a quick choice. Hook. Buck admitted that he’d never actually seen it before.

“We weren’t big on movies growing up,” Buck admitted.

“That’s kinda sad, Buck,” Eddie said. “Have you been catching up on everything you missed while you’re stuck at home?”

Buck rolled his eyes. “Sort of.”

Christopher had never seen Hook either and he was excited when Buck got everything set up on his end. Watching a movie with another person that wasn’t in the room with him was different and yet watching Buck’s reactions to the movie on the screen and the way that they almost matched Christophers was endearing. Eddie really really liked Buck.

—-

Quarantine kept going. No one knew when it was going to end. By day thirty three, Buck was really getting sick of it. He took Sebastian out on longer and longer walks and he spent as much time as he could out on his balcony, overlooking the empty streets and the very few people taking walks outside. He and Eddie still used Zoom as the primary form of contact, but they’d exchanged numbers too so that they texted constantly, sending memes back and forth because that was one of the few good things to come out of the whole mess.

Eddie made it all a bit better, even though Buck couldn’t actually be with him. But the prospect of finally getting to see him in person kept Buck going. Almost every day one of them mentioned all the numerous things that they wanted to do once they were allowed out again.

“I want to go to a museum,” Buck said. “Art or history — it doesn’t even matter. I just want to go. And you’re welcome to come with me.”

“I want to go to a restaurant and actually be able to eat there,” Eddie said.

“Amusement park,” Buck added. “A concert.”

“The mall. I hate shopping, but I’d love to be able to go to the mall.”

“I’d even love to go back into the office. Or...maybe just anywhere with you.”

Eddie always had a pleased look when Buck mentioned the two of them getting together. They didn’t talk about it often, but they had Zoom dates every other day watching movies or eating together often with Christopher butting in not that Buck minded that in the least. It was late at night when Christopher was in bed that Buck and Eddie had time alone and in the cover of darkness things were different. That was when things got deep.

It was late at night that Eddie told Buck about Christopher’s mother, Shannon and the turbulent relationship. It was also when Buck told Eddie about Abby and how she left him. They shared stories about growing up and about how they each figured out their attraction to men and women. They talked about Christopher’s CP. They talked about how Buck didn’t actually love his job but that it was something he’d fallen into. Eddie told Buck about his time in the Army.

Other nights it was different. Less morose.

They talked about them. About how strange it was to fall for someone over Zoom of all things and yet how their connection was real. The attraction was real. And they both absolutely longed for the day when they could be in person together.

“I’m going to kiss you so hard, Edmundo Diaz,” Buck said one night after yet another movie night. Christopher was in bed and Buck had walked up to his own bed as well. “You won’t know it’s coming.”

“Well, you’ve just given me warning so now I’m expecting it, Evan,”

“As long as you’ll kiss me back,” Buck said.

“Of course I’ll kiss you back. I’ll always kiss you back.”

—-

Day forty hit Eddie hard when he realized that it had been forty days since he stepped outside his house. Christopher was so adaptable that he was fine with the way things were. And truth be told, Eddie had gotten used to working from home. He’d also gotten really used to having Buck on a screen for most of the day or just a text away. Buck texted him good morning every morning when he woke up and Eddie would call him on Zoom and take him along as he and Christopher did their morning routine.

Buck even taught Eddie how to make pancakes one morning when he was in the middle of eating some and Christopher wanted some too. Eddie usually relied on mixes that just needed water, but Buck instructed him and Christopher until the finished result was fluffy discs that he and Christopher ate ravenously. It made Eddie wish he could have Buck in person.

The longer the quarantine went, the more that Eddie longed to see Buck off a computer screen. If it wasn’t for Christopher and his CP, Eddie would have already gone and asked Buck to come over or gone to join him at his apartment. But even though Buck had been stuck inside his home and clearly wasn’t sick, Eddie wasn’t stupid enough to risk it.

So instead he and Buck daydreamed of the day they would finally get their in person date.

“You know,” Buck said on day forty three, “we’ve been on so many virtual dates already that we should be way past third base.”

Eddie laughed at that. “Oh, Buck.”

“Listen,” Buck said in a quieter tone, “you don’t make it easy looking like you do.”

“And somehow I’m just fine even though you look like that,” Eddie said.

Buck just pouted at him. It made him look cute more than anything. Eddie pushed his hair back. It had grown quite a bit since he hadn’t been able to go out and get a haircut but Buck seemed to like the length. It made Eddie consider keeping it.

Some days they just threw out date ideas at each other. Buck told him he would take Eddie out on a hot air balloon and they could have a picnic up in the clouds. Eddie wanted to take him rock climbing. Buck wanted to go to the zoo but mostly because Christopher wanted to. Eddie wanted the two of them to go hiking. Buck wanted to take Eddie to the beach to hang out at the pier but also out on the sand so they could build sand castles together. Eddie mentioned being good at bowling and Buck wanted to beat him at it. Buck also wanted to beat him at pool. Mostly, though, the two of them wanted to do anything as long as they could do it together.

But their work from home was being extended as was the stay at home order. Things were bad and Eddie couldn’t really handle watching the news anymore because it was always more and more depressing.

He could tell that it was getting to Buck some days more than others.

“I just — I hate this, you know, the staying inside and the lack of seeing anyone but then you hear all these things about the number of cases and it’s horrible. And my sister is right in the thick of it and she’s okay but I worry about her. She called me last night and she was just crying the entire time. And it’s just horrible. And then you have all these idiots not taking it seriously even forty something days into this quarantine and I don’t get it.”

“I don’t get it either, Buck. I really don’t.”

—-

Buck stopped counting the days after day forty five because counting made him feel more like a prisoner in his own home more than anything else. So when the stay at home order was finally lifted after what felt like a couple of year length months, it was Eddie that told him they had been in quarantine for nearly seventy days.

“That’s impossible,” Buck said.

“My hair says otherwise,” Eddie said.

At some point, Buck remembered Eddie trying to figure out how to cut his own hair and it had been a combination of Christopher thinking it was a bad idea and Buck repeatedly telling Eddie that he didn’t mind the longer hair that stopped him from doing it.

“It’s still going to be a while before life goes back to normal,” Buck said.

Eddie shrugged his shoulders. “But there’s an end in sight now.”

They were still going to keep working from home but the prospect of getting back to the office made things better. It also meant that they all needed to get back on track which began with another Zoom conference with Bobby and all the others.

Buck looked professional again which made Eddie laugh a little.

“What’s so funny, Diaz?” Buck asked.

Everyone was paying attention to him and he could feel himself blushing. “Nothing. Nothing. Let’s get the meeting started.”

It was after the meeting that Buck called him. He was in a t-shirt and looking a lot more relaxed which made Eddie burst out into laughter.

“You changed,” Eddie said.

“Yeah. So?”

“It’s just cute you dressed up for the meeting,” Eddie said. “You’re just adorable, Buck.”

“I’m—”

“I like it,” Eddie said and then after taking a deep breath. “So, when can I see you?”

“Now?” Buck asked.

—-

The first time that Buck saw Eddie in person he felt like his heart was going to beat out of his chest. He didn’t know why he was so nervous after all the time they’d spent talking and after everything they’d shared with each other but when Eddie noticed him and smiled Buck took a breath and stepped forward.

“Hi,” he said.

“Hi,” Eddie said back.

“It’s nice to not see you on a screen for once,” Buck said.

“Yeah. I think I prefer this.”

“Me too.”

It was different and a little bit awkward but it was him and Eddie and when Buck offered his hand to him, Eddie took it and laced their fingers and Buck knew with some certainty that things would work out. They may have met over Zoom video conference but it didn’t in any way make what they felt less real or less important.

“So,” Eddie said.

“So,” Buck said and they both laughed until Buck moved closer. He could smell Eddie’s aftershave and their hands were still linked which grounded him as he leaned into Eddie’s space and kissed him. Eddie pulled him closer, gasping against his lips and deepening the kiss.

“Told you I was going to kiss you,” Buck said.

---

Notes: Thank you to anyone that read this. Considering the current situation across the world I hope everyone is staying safe and healthy.

Find my other Buddie fics here

#911 fox #buddie #buddie fic #911 fic #buck x eddie #fic #my fic #one-shot

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playitaagain · 4 years

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tumblr ate @dreamypope‘s asks so here are her questions for the fic writer ask game!

wait i just sent in like 8 of them but i guess it didn't go through ughhhh! i will leave my questions here then: 4, 9, 11, 14, 16, 18, 20!!, oooh 25, 30 pretty pleaseee, 34, 44 :)

4. Link your three favorite fics right now.

I have 923 bookmarkers on ao3 and it grows daily. Do you know how hard this is? And now I’m worried I’ll offend someone if I don’t add their fic. Please don’t take offense. I love everyone’s fics but these are three that are sticking out to me at the current moment. I’m really into DeanxSeamus right now from HP. Don’t judge me. Two are HP and one Mayward.

A Little Like This The Complex Variations of the Letter J Strength of Heart

9. Tag 3 fic writers you think are underrated/unknown in the fandom/fanfiction community.

Again, please don’t take offense if you aren’t on the list. I love everyone and it’s so hard to think of people.

@midsommers @thistreasurehunter @colfields (never talked to her and a little nervous about tagging her, but she writes amazing jjpope that I only just discovered.)

11. How do you come up with your fic titles?

By struggling. No, but this is the hardest part, even when I’ve finished the fic. I usually wait till I’m done and pick a moment in the fic I like and name it after that moment or word that I pick. Sometimes I name the title off the prompt and sometimes I have a title that I actually base the prompt off. It’s usually the first one though.

14. Do you have a personal word minimum that you hold yourself too? Why or why not?

It depends on what I’m writing. 10 minute fics I try to do 500 or under. Requests are a minimum of 500, but I aim for 1,000 or more. Oneshots I usually aim for 4k or more. That’s just the logic I came up with in my head. I don’t really know why.

16. Do you research for your fics? If so, how deep of a rabbit hole have you gone down by accident when researching?

I do minimum research because I get annoyed easily. It’s fanfiction. I can write what I want. There are things I think are more important to research, but others I just go with the basic things I know and work from there.

18. Do you have a WIP that you keep telling yourself you’ll eventually get back to, but deep down you know that’s probably a lie?

I feel guilty all the time for this unfinished chapter fic: Breaking the Cycle.

20. What’s your favorite part about the fanfiction writing process?

I love finishing the fic or making a connection back to a part I already wrote.

25. Do you listen to music as you write? If possible, link your writing playlist.

No music. I get distracted. I do watch tv though, but only shows I’ve already seen so I’m not distracted.

30. Post a snippet from your current WIP without context - no more than 300 words.

He’s only a few hours into the ride when his phone rings. Pope fishes in his pocket for his phone, frown tugging down his lips when he doesn’t recognize the number. It’s rare to get a call and usually the only people who call him are his parents or Kiara. He thinks about letting it go to voicemail, is sure they would leave a message if it was important, but something in his gut is telling him to answer so he swipes the phone and holds it up to his ear.

“Hello, this is Pope,” he states, voice cracking a bit awkwardly as he uses it for the first time today. The line is silent for a moment and he can hear a bit of shuffling on the line, papers moving.

“Good Morning, Mr. Heyward,” the voice says, oddly pleasant. The words have him confused as he tries to figure out who this might be, going through a list of people that would possibly call him Mr. Heyward. He can’t come up with any. “We are calling on Mr. Maybank’s behalf today.” That left Pope even more confused. Who was Mr. Maybank?

“I’m sorry, but who is this?” He asks, eyebrows furrowed as he shifts to look out the window, folding his leg under him just so he can change positions for a bit.

34. How much of yourself and your life experiences do you put into your writing? What do you think your readers’ image of you is?

My life is boring so not much. Maybe my readers think I have a more adventurous life than I actually have? I’m not really sure.

44. Rant about something writing related.

I’m honestly not sure what to rant about, but I’m going to go with support. If you want fanfic writers to keep writing, make sure you not only kudos but comment as well. There has been such a lack of comments lately and just make sure your supporting people who are literally doing this for free. Just, support. It doesn’t take long. You found the time to read the fic, so just spend two more minutes writing a review.

Please ask more from this list! This is fun :)

#e talks #ask #about #about me #fanfic stuff #please ask more

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maryanntorreson · 3 years

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Here’s how I finally got myself to start exercising

Avalon Nuovo

When we received the stay-at-home order in March 2020 — I live in California — I came out of the gates pretty darn hot.

“Embrace not being so busy,” I wrote. “Take this time at home to get into a new happiness habit.”

That seems hilarious to me now. My pre-pandemic routines fell apart hard and fast. Some days, I would realize at dinnertime that not only had I not showered or gotten dressed that day, I hadn’t even brushed my teeth.

Even though I have coached people for a long time in a very effective, science-based method of habit formation, I struggled. Truth be told, for the first few months of the pandemic I more or less refused to follow my own best advice.

I think this was because I love to set ambitious goals. Adopting little habits is so much less exciting than embracing a big, juicy goal.

Take exercise, for example.

When the pandemic began, I optimistically embraced the idea that I could get back into running outside. I picked a half marathon to train for and spent a week or so meticulously devising a detailed daily training plan. However, I stuck to that plan for only a few weeks — all that planning and preparation led only to a spectacular failure to exercise.

I skipped my training runs despite feeling like the importance of exercise and the good health it brings has never been more bracingly clear. Despite knowing that it would cut my risk of heart disease in half. Despite knowing that exercise radically reduces the probability we’ll get cancer or diabetes and that it’s as least as effective as prescription medication when it comes to reducing depression and anxiety, that it improves our memory and learning, and that it makes our brains more efficient and more powerful.

Why did I skip exercise despite knowing all this?

The truth is our ability to follow through on our intentions — to get into a new habit like exercise or to change our behavior in any way — actually doesn’t depend on the reasons that we might do it or on the depth of our convictions to do it. It also doesn’t depend on our understanding of the benefits of a particular behavior, or even on the strength of our willpower.

Instead, it depends on our willingness to be bad at our desired behavior.

And I hate being bad at stuff. I’m a “go big or go home” kind of gal. I like being good at things, and I quit exercising because I wasn’t willing to be bad at it.

Here’s why we need to be willing to be bad. Being good requires that our effort and our motivation need to be equivalent. In other words, the harder a thing is for us to do, the more motivation we need to do that thing. And you might have noticed that motivation isn’t something we can always muster on command. Whether we like it or not, motivation comes and motivation goes. When motivation wanes, plenty of research shows that we humans tend to follow the law of the least effort and do the easiest thing.

New behaviors require a lot of effort because change is hard. Change can require a lot of motivation, which we can’t count on having. This is why we often don’t do the things we really intend to do.

To establish an exercise routine, I needed to let myself be bad at it. I needed to stop trying to be an actual athlete.

I started exercising again by running for only one minute at a time — yes, that’s right, 60 seconds. Every morning after I brushed my teeth, I changed out of my pajamas and walked out the door, with my only goal to run for one full minute.

These days, I usually run for 15 or 20 minutes at a stretch. But on the days that I’m totally lacking in motivation or time, I still do that one minute. And this minimal effort always turns out to be way better than nothing.

Maybe you relate. Maybe you’ve also failed in one of your attempts to change yourself for the better. Perhaps you want to use less plastic, meditate more or be a better antiracist. Maybe you want to write a book or eat more leafy greens.

I have great news for you: You can do and be those things, starting right now!

The sole requirement is that you stop trying to be so good. You’ll need to abandon your grand plans, at least temporarily. You must allow yourself to do something so minuscule that it’s only slightly better than doing nothing at all.

Ask yourself: How can you strip down that thing you’ve been meaning to do into something so easy you could do it every day with barely a thought? So if your big objective is to eat lots of leafy greens, maybe you could start by adding one lettuce leaf to your sandwich at lunch.

Don’t worry: You’ll get to do more. This “better than nothing” behavior isn’t your ultimate goal. But for now, do something ridiculously easy that you can do even when nothing in your life is going as planned.

On those days, doing some wildly unambitious act is better than doing nothing. A one-minute meditation is relaxing and restful. A single leaf of romaine lettuce has a half-gram of fiber and important nutrients. A one-minute walk gets us outside and moving, which our bodies really need.

Try doing one better than nothing behavior. See how it goes. Your goal is repetition, not high achievement.

Let yourself be mediocre at whatever you are trying to do, but be mediocre every day.

Take only one step, but take that step every day.

And if your better than nothing habit doesn’t actually seem better to you than doing nothing, remember that you are getting started at something and that initiating a behavior is often the hardest part.

By getting started, you are establishing a neural pathway in your brain for a new habit. This makes it much more likely that you’ll succeed with something more ambitious down the line. Once you hardwire a habit into your brain, you can do it without thinking and, more importantly, without needing much willpower or effort.

A “better than nothing” habit is easy for you to repeat, again and again, until it’s on autopilot. You can do it even when you aren’t motivated, even when you’re tired, even when you have no time. Once you start acting on autopilot, that’s the golden moment that your habit can begin to expand organically.

After a few days of running for one minute, I started feeling a genuine desire to keep running. Not because I felt like I should exercise more or I had to do more to impress people, but because it felt more natural to keep running than it felt to stop.

It can be incredibly tempting, especially for the overachievers, to want to do more than our designated better than nothing habit. So I must warn you: The moment in which you are no longer willing to do something unambitious is the moment in which you risk everything.

The moment you think you should do more is the moment you introduce difficulty. It’s the moment you eliminate the possibility that your activity will be easy and even enjoyable. So it’s also the moment that will require a lot more motivation from you. And if the motivation isn’t there, that’s when you’ll end up checking your phone instead of doing whatever it is you intended to do or you’ll stay on the couch binge-watching TikTok videos or Netflix.

The whole idea behind the better than nothing habit is that it doesn’t depend on motivation. It’s not reliant on having a lot of energy, and you do not have to be good at this. All you need is to be willing to be wildly unambitious — to settle for doing something that’s just a smidge better than nothing.

I’m happy to report that after months of struggle, I am now a runner. I became one by allowing myself to be bad at it. While you couldn’t call me an athlete — there are no half marathons in my future — I am consistent.

To paraphrase the Dalai Lama, our goal is not to be better than other people; it’s just to be better than our previous selves. And that I definitely am. It turns out that to grow as people, we need only do something minuscule. When we abandon our grand plans and great ambitions in favor of taking that first teeny-tiny step, we shift. And, paradoxically, it is in that tiny shift that our grand plans and great ambitions are truly born.

This piece was adapted from a TEDxMarin Talk. Watch it here now:

youtube

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Christine Carter PhD is a writer, speaker, coach and sociologist, as well as a Senior Fellow at the Greater Good Science Center. She is the author of the books The New Adolescence: Raising Happy and Successful Teens in an Age of Anxiety and Distraction, The Sweet Spot: How to Accomplish More by Doing Less and Raising Happiness: 10 Simple Steps for More Joyful Kids and Happier Parents.

This post was originally published on TED Ideas. It’s part of the “How to Be a Better Human” series, each of which contains a piece of helpful advice from someone in the TED community; browse through all the posts here.

Here’s how I finally got myself to start exercising published first on https://premiumedusite.tumblr.com/rss

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