#the wasted years

[howifeltabouthim]

Worse, they had never said, 'I love you,' which he said so often that it almost made up for all the years of never having heard it. The sound of his loving words, and the sight of his handsome face smiling at her, made her feel so loved that she thought her heart would burst.

Anna Biller, from Bluebeard's Castle

#declaration of love #unloved #first love #healing #relationship #love bombing #quotes #lit #words #excerpts #quote #literature #the wasted years #anna biller #bluebeard's castle

[cozylittleartblog]

"content creator" is a corporate word.

we are artists.

#anti ai #fuck ai #artists on tumblr #please do not call me or any artist a content creator #i'm an artist. a fanartist. a designer. but not a content creator #ai clowns in my replies will be deleted and blocked without response so do not waste your breath #you are not an 'artist' for generating an image any more than you are a chef for ordering from a restaurant. someone Else did the work. #owen dennis just deleted all his blue sky stuff again and i hate that he does that because he makes such interesting comments #about the entertainment industry lmao i need to just. start screenshotting every smart thing he says #anyway thats why i decided to finally make this when its been sitting in drafts for a few months #owen dennis #edit - if you dont know who owen dennis is he's the creator of one of the best animated series of the last 20 years (Infinity Train) #he's very open about talking about art and the entertainment/animation industry on social media and in his newsletter and hes so cool 4 it

[inkskinned]

probably time for this story i guess but when i was a kid there was a summer that my brother was really into making smoothies and milkshakes. part of this was that we didn't have AC and couldn't afford to run fans all day so it was kind of important to get good at making Cool Down Concoctions.

we also had a patch of mint, and he had two impressionable little sisters who had the attitude of "fuck it, might as well."

at one point, for fun, this 16 year old boy with a dream in his eye and scientific fervor in heart just wanted to see how far one could push the idea of "vanilla mint smoothie". how much vanilla extract and how much mint can go into a blender before it truly is inedible.

the answer is 3 cups of vanilla extract, 1/2 cup milk alternative, and about 50 sprigs (not leaves, whole spring) of mint. add ice and the courage of a child. idk, it was summer and we were bored.

the word i would use to describe the feeling of drinking it would maybe be "violent" or perhaps, like. "triangular." my nose felt pristine. inhaling following the first sip was like trying to sculpt a new face. i was ensconced in a mesh of horror. it was something beyond taste. for years after, i assumed those commercials that said "this is how it feels to chew five gum" were referencing the exact experience of this singular viscous smoothie.

what's worse is that we knew our mother would hate that we wasted so much vanilla extract. so we had to make it worth it. we had to actually finish the drink. it wasn't "wasting" it if we actually drank it, right? we huddled around outside in the blistering sun, gagging and passing around a single green potion, shivering with disgust. each sip was transcendent, but in a sort of non-euclidean way. i think this is where i lost my binary gender. it eroded certain parts of me in an acidic gut ecology collapse.

here's the thing about love and trust: the next day my brother made a different shake, and i drank it without complaint. it's been like 15 years. he's now a genuinely skilled cook. sometimes one of the three of us will fuck up in the kitchen or find something horrible or make a terrible smoothie mistake and then we pass it to each other, single potion bottle, and we say try it it's delicious. it always smells disgusting. and then, cerimonious, we drink it together. because that's what family does.

#this is true #writeblr #warm up #relatedly for some reason one of our Favorite Jokes #amongst the Siblings #is like - ''this is so good u will love it'' #while we are reacting to something we OBVIOUSLY find viscerally disgusting #like we will be actively retching and be like ''nooooo it's so good'' #to the point that i sometimes get nervous if someone outside my family is like oh u should try it its good #(obvi we never force each other to eat anything. we are all just curious birds and #like. we're GONNA try the new thing.) #edit to answer why we had so much vanilla: #my mom is a very good cook and we LOVE to bake. so she just had a lot of staples in the house. #it's one of those things that's like. have u ever continuously thought ''ah i should get butter im probably out'' #even tho u are not out of butter. so u end up with like 5 years of butter. #my mom would do that in a costco but like with vanilla extract #to be fair we WERE always using WAY TOO MUCH bc we were kids #so like she was right to stock up #ps. yes we were VERY sick after this lol i just didn't want to include it in the post in case ppl had an ick about that #u can tell it's real bc we knew "oh no we fucked up that's too much vanilla to waste'' but our reaction was to just. keep drinking it #> sibling understanding that vanilla extract isn't free > knowledge mother doesnt mind if we use it for milkshakes #> sibling choice to maybe get in a loophole of ''not wasting it'' if we drink it bc that's the same as using it (not throwing it out) #listen bud i was like 13 and my sister was like 9 #when my mom discovered this we. got in. A LOT. of trouble. a lot of it. a LOT of it. #3rd edit bc i guess it isn't clear - i am 1 of my brother's 2 little sisters #i am the middle child #out of all the ways i have had to explain a post before being like ''did u forget a middle child can happen'' is my favorite

[canyoubreakmylegstonightt]

"Wish I'd been a prom queen, fighting for the title 'stead of being sixteen and burning up a bible Feeling super, super, super suicidal"

#the wasted years #the wasted youth #not anymore

[egophiliac]

some (extremely) quick doodles to celebrate the glorious return of glorious masquerade! I haven't had a chance to do much personal drawing lately, but I didn't want to let it go by without doing something!

#art #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland spoilers #glorious masquerade #every time they do a rerun event they should make everyone's hats bigger #i feel that this should be true of every game #i think eng might be getting it this year? if so someone PLEASE tell me if they keep the 'be cool' line #the only localization that matters to me #meanwhile aside from foxman and catboy our halloween event this year is shrouded in mystery #i know they want to do a big fancy announcement and i am looking forward to it! #but it is pretty hilarious to look at the schedule and see basically just 'halloween event 2023 - wait for the abema' #look twst i just want to know if i need to save my keys or if i can waste them all in another bid at masquerade malleus #how pretty are the cards going to be. i need to know.

[ionomycin]

mermay

#artists on tumblr #may has gone so incredibly fast #it literally just started and now it's almost over #i'll be going to finland to visit my mom and friend again in june #just in time for pride week #it's been really nice in helsinki the past few years #i hope it goes safely and peacefully this year too #last year there were some protestors screaming mean things with their hateful signs #but that's to be expected #it's hard to feel insulted when they're the ones wasting their time screaming at strangers #instead of doing something positive #must be a sad life being so angry all the time

[finchwingart]

Cold but coze

#finch art #ocs #finchwing #hope u guys are having a nice holiday!! #i love how limbo this time of year feels #never feels like im wasting time #but that i have all the time in the world to eat and nap

[hootgrowlbears]

The experience of being singled out by a teacher as unexceptional since day one. Trying something new and getting endlessly questioned about the why, the how. For months, going to class and giving up on doing well because it's not like this teacher ever cared about you anyway. Being berated in front of your whole class for your slipping grades and not knowing what to do about it.

And then the flip. In the middle of the year apparently something you did was impressive. Your teacher is friendly with you in a way they never were, and your sudden success was all a part of their plan, their method. "This is what I was trying to tell you, and you finally got it!".

You convince yourself of that too, grudgingly. It all worked out. That teacher really did know best after all. All that stuff at the beginning of the year, all that stuff for the two years before that, that was fine. It was all part of the plan. The humiliation and the stress and the nights spent wondering "What am I not getting about this?", were all necessary.

It's time for teacher evaluations. All fives.

#fantasy high #fhjy #gorgug thistlespring #as a black person gorgug's arc really gets me on a personal level #just the “yeah i guess that teacher was weird and harsh with me specifically but it must have just been something i was doing wrong" #and then you find out later that it's something wrong with them and their worldview #and all you're left with is betrayal and anger and wasted time #“i *knew* he was a bad teacher!” but you convinced yourself otherwise just so you could make it through the year

[valyrfia]

charles apparently happily scurrying to talk to a camera when max asks him to without a SINGLE ferrari PR person in sight? YEARS of pr training just all undone like that in a single second? let’s not lose the plot here charles is down JUST AS BAD

#years of academy training wasted #for a BOY #oh charles you really are just like the rest of us #lestappen #charles leclerc #formula 1 #max verstappen #las vegas gp 2023

[doubly-dateable]

hey former gifted kids and neurodivergent people, how are we feeling about this?

#right in the feels #dimension 20 #fantasy high junior year #fhjy #audhd #fantasy high #relatable #d20 #fhjy spoilers #gifted kid burnout #so tired of hearing about my #wasted potential #zac oyama #gorgug thistlespring #fuck porter cliffbreaker #d20 fhjy #fhjy finale #this whole scene #has me fucked up #eldest daughters

[aworsening]

i was an isolated child

last words of a shooting star - mitski / interlude - jeremy lipking / beast monster thing (love isn't love enough) - car seat headrest / untitled - franz wright / twilight: new moon (2009) / teen idle - marina and the diamonds / my year of rest and relaxation - ottessa moshfegh / morning sun - edward hopper / look who's inside again - bo burnham / a girl ago - lucie brock-broido

#web weaving #web weave #parallels #my post #mitski #car seat headrest #twilight #thinking about how i wasted my teenage years #not entirely my own fault #but partially

[howifeltabouthim]

. . . the hours—nay, years—they devoted to making some man see them in a particular way . . .

Curtis Sittenfeld, from Eligible

#try hard #heteronormativity #i want you to want me #relationships #love me #relatable #the wasted years #attraction #inauthentic #identity #quotes #lit #words #excerpts #quote #literature #curtis sittenfeld #eligible #waste of time

[cozylittleartblog]

my friend loot bug... from lethal company.... (or at least we're friends until he runs off with my scrap)

vinyl sticker on my etsy :)

#lethal company #loot bug #hoarding bug #yippie #art #artists on tumblr #stickers #lethal company fanart #reblogs especially appreciated because tumblr will surely slap me for having a link in my post #edit sorry for the bigger watermarks! some waste of space stole this erased my watermark and put it on redbubble :) #second time this year and its only march :)

[wilsonsmcgillsweatshirt]

I will never recover from the knowledge that thymoma generally has a very high survival rate, and in most cases that it becomes fatal, the patient has unknowingly lived with the cancer for years. There's a chance that Wilson was sick for half the series and didn't even know it.

#I'm just imagining House looking back at the last few years in horror thinking about the possibility that Wilson had been sick all along #I can see it leading to him feeling like all of their memories are tainted #House definitely blames himself as well even though it was never in his control #I can't imagine how much his already extreme self-hatred was amplified #And he probably looked back at all the mistakes he made and all the fights they had and realizing that - #- while they were having all these fights that now seem so trivial that Wilson was probably sick #They wasted all that time unknowingly with Wilsons cancer slowly progressing as they argued and fought #It makes me want to cry #I'm not a doctor and I know this obviously isn't always the case but from what research I've done this seems the be the standard mostly #house md #house #greg house #james wilson #gregory house #hilson #wilson #housemd #favs #favourites

[theahatestea]

2 jul 2022

Assistindo Criminal Minds (s1e7) enquanto escrevo isso.

O arrependimento de não ter feito algo é menos doloroso que o de ter feito. Fiz o vestibular em 2019 e já sabia que não iria passar. Aquele ano foi um dos piores. Eu não estudei e nem ao menos tinha vontade de levantar da cama, no último dia de prova. Consegui um desconto na melhor faculdade particular da minha cidade. Resolvi tentar. Escolhi estudar arquitetura, nunca tive certeza do que queria, mas achava que tinha afinidade com o curso. Não aguentei ir mais que 6 dias. Acordava todas as noites com pesadelos e palpitações. O que teria acontecido se eu não tivesse desistido do curso em 2020? Eu sei que universidade não é tudo, mas essa conquista era a única coisa que ainda me mantinha com os pés no chão. Não sei o que vai ser do meu futuro. Não consigo me imaginar saindo de casa e enfrentando uma faculdade presencialmente.

Hoje fui ao mercado e encontrei a avó de um amiga. Ela perguntou como vai indo minha vida, se estou fazendo faculdade e entre outras coisas. Quase chorei. É vergonhoso não conseguir sair de casa.

#eu gostaria de sair #espero não ser assim eternamente #não tenho nada em mim #the wasted years #the wasted youth #the pretty lies #the ugly truth #desabafo.🥀

[adaav]

They had 15 years that no show this generation will ever have. And they just waisted it on brother bonding 😔.

#Fandom wank #Why was this was recommended to me?? #The brother bonding show could have been like games of thrones but they wasted 15 years in brother bonding #spn