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avintagekiss24 · 3 years

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—belated; bucky barnes

pairing: mob!bucky barnes x black!reader

word count: 4738

warnings: 18+ ONLY, smut, sex, rough sex, anal sex, biting kink, choking kink, spanking, pain kink, vaginal fingering, mean bucky (my fave), ring kink cuz i love it when boys wear rings

squares filled: @buckybarnesbingo Y3: Birthdays ; @badthingshappenbingo Biting ; @star-spangled-bingo N1: Taking Charge

request: bucky barnes + "pay attention to me or i'll make you" + anal + choking + spanking + biting + pain

author note: it's been foreverrrrr! i'm so sorry! i had to work myself through a little slump! hopefully this makes up for the almost two months we've gone without a fic! this is story #2 for my 5k celebration, all fics will be tagged #5k...holy god. this was formatted in the beta text post editor on desktop, if anything looks weird, that's why :)

gif by @pedropcl ; line divider by @firefly-graphics

James Buchanan Barnes is possessive.

One of those massive hands around the back of your neck as you walk casually through the streets. Fingers wrapped around your wrist, or shoulder, or hip in a tight grip. He pulls you in close— right into his side as shopping bags hang from the tips of his metal fingers.

Bucky Barnes wants every man on the streets of Greece to know that you are his.

Not that you mind; quite the contrary. You just smile and giggle when he throws his heavy arm around your shoulders and hooks the crease of his arm right underneath your chin. Slip your hand into the back pocket of his loose dark jeans (giving that little tush of his a squeeze). Slink your arm around his little waist and breathe in his scent— heavy and woodsy— as the two of you stroll.

After all, he’s just as much yours as you are his.

All of his friends, Sam, Steve, Clint, all see the change in him. The little soft spot for you that blinds him entirely— turns him in a mushy puddle of emotions and puppies and rainbows. Very different from the Bucky they grew up with, but a Bucky that the three of them have come to enjoy. It’s a change of pace from the enforcer they know.

The two of you don’t talk about his work— in fact, it’s the reason why you’re in Greece to begin with. A late birthday present to make up for the fact that his “work” just happened to be the waiter at the restaurant he chose to take you to for your thirty second birthday. Come on babe, he chuckled as you scowled back at him over the rim of your wine glass, watching as he stained his white napkin red with his bloody knuckles, you know what they say, kill two birds with one stone… not funny?

Two weeks, two nonrefundable, open ended tickets, and five grand in bikinis, shorts, and shoes later, you’re getting some much needed Greek sun on your deep brown skin.

He’s even letting you call the shots for a change. Letting you wake him up at the ass crack of dawn to have breakfast— a spread of breads, cheeses and fruits on the balcony of your room as the sun rises. He doesn’t say a word as you drag him through the city, stopping at each little boutique and shoe store. Sits patiently as you try on every dress, every skirt, and every silk top in the entire country it seems.

Bucky even bit his lip as you gazed at engagement rings— hinting that princess cut is your favorite as you held your hand up into the natural sunlight as one adored your finger. Smiling over at him and wiggling your eyebrows all the while as he narrowed his eyes and plastered a fake smile on his face.

Today has been like all the others, a lazy day spent on the beach, a quick nap underneath an umbrella, a concoction of too much sun and too many margaritas going straight to your head. Now, you’re kinda sleepy and kinda drunk, but most importantly hungry— and Mykonos sounds like a great place for dinner. Despite Bucky’s objections (you’re too tired and too drunk to handle a ferry), you’re dressed in a cute little flowery sundress, him in an out-of-character white tank top, open pale blue and green striped button down and khaki chinos— you forbade him from bringing anything black— and you’re flip flops are slapping against the cobblestone street towards the ferry.

“Drop your attitude,” You say, glancing over your shoulder as he pays for your tickets, “You owe me.”

“Yeah, yeah, that excuse is wearing thin, girl.” You stumble a little with the motion of the ferry as you step onto it, having to grab onto the railing to steady yourself before Bucky grabs hold of your wrist, “Water only for the rest of the night.”

His voice is low and borderline threatening as he presses his lips right against your ear, and you know not to press him any further. You like to stick your toes right up against his line and that’s what irritates him most about you (always what he loves most), but you and he both know you’d never dare cross it.

Bucky pulls you behind him, hand around your wrist, that possessive trait rearing its head as male eyes fall on you as the two of you pass by. He finds an empty spot, away from the crowd, and plops down on the bench as you step up on the lower rung of the railing and stare out over the sea.

Within twenty or thirty minutes, the ferry pulls away from the dock and you can’t wipe the smile from your face. The sun sets off in the distance, the bright lights of the city turning into little pinpoints. Small droplets of the cool, salty water splashes up in your face as the wind and the ferry whips it up. You keep glancing down at the phone in your hand as you broadcast your current view to your instagram, laughing softly as hearts and emojis explode on your screen.

You lean forward, tilting your phone and smiling wide, waving into the camera before you shout out how much you love it here. The words are barely out of your mouth before an arm wraps around your middle, a wide, hard chest pressed into your back, “That’s enough,” he reaches with his metal arm, grabbing your phone, ending your live feed, “You’re too drunk to be hanging off the side like that.”

“I am not,” you struggle against him lightly as he sets you on your feet, “What is your problem?”

“I’m annoyed.”

“Well, duh. Why?”

He slips your phone into his pocket and crosses his arms over his chest, sharp blue eyes piercing into yours, “Pay attention to me,” he says low, eyes dropping down your body real slow as he drags his bottom lip between his teeth, “Or I’ll make you.”

So that’s what it’s about. Bucky Barnes feels neglected between all the shopping and beach days and margaritas. Jealousy is cute on him.

The words though, they strike you right to your core— feel them down to your bones. A hard swallow pushes through your throat as your lips part, big brown eyes softening as your breath starts to rush a little harder. You hate to admit— not really— you love this Bucky. This is work Bucky, a man you rarely get to see. Slightly scary, anger brimming just below the surface. Jaw tight, eyes hard, head tilted just a bit. He’s menacing, and it makes your lips twitch into a small smile.

Shrugging defiantly, you cross your arms over your chest, “You didn’t pay much attention to me on my birthday.”

“Not true.”

“Not true?” you nearly shout, eyes going wide, “I ate alone while you beat the hell outta our waiter behind the building! I had to wait two hours for my slice of cake!”

“How is that my fault?”

You scoff, “Oh, I dunno, maybe because our waiter was spitting out his teeth in the alley out back— all thanks to you.”

“I have to work. You know that.”

“Not,” you hiss, “On my fucking birthday.”

He knows he’s wrong for that shit, so he stands there, huffing quick before he cocks his head again and just blinks back at you— unamused. He won’t apologize, it’s just not in his nature, but his usual attempts to make you happy after he’s fucked up aren’t working; so he’s at a loss.

And you’re enjoying that. A little too much if you ask him.

But alas, it’s not fun to fight on vacation, and you have taken far too many liberties when it comes to his tolerance for attitude. It’s been fun— and you’re just drunk enough to push him one last time.

You move slow, walking right up to him, so close that each inhale pushes your tits into his body. The smirk quirked up on your lips grows as you peer up at him, eyes bouncing between his as you place your hands on his forearms still crossed over his chest.

Bucky lifts his eyebrow as you push up on your tiptoes and push your chin forward to bring your lips close to his, “And just how are you gonna make me pay attention to you, James?”

He inhales deep, pushes it out real slow as he tilts his head even further. A smile spreads on his face and you just know that this is the last thing his work sees before he rearranges the bones of their face. This is exactly why his clients pay him as well as they do.

Thick fingers are wrapped around your wrist again, nails digging into your skin as he starts to pull you behind him. He weaves you through bodies, you nearly having to jog to keep up with his strides. Laughter bubbles up in your chest, a little shriek escaping as he pulls you down some stairs to the lower level of the ferry. Once your feet hit the last step, Bucky whips you around his body, sending you spinning and laughing until you bounce into an old, rusty metal barrel.

The smell of salt fills your nose and lungs as you inhale, covering your face with your hands. Your skin is hot, lips slightly numb as you dissolve into laughter again. He’s right, you’re a little too drunk for this.

“I don’t think we’re supposed to be down here.” You mumble, brushing your wild hair out of your face.

“I could give a fuck,” he answers, stepping up to you, grabbing your face in his hands, “You’ve been testing me the entire time we’ve been here all over some stupid shit.”

Another giggle pushes through your lips as you bat your eyes, “I wouldn’t dare, Mr. Barnes.”

Bucky sucks his teeth as he drops his metal hand around your throat and squeezes gently, the rings on his fingers cool against your skin, “I was stupid, okay? But don’t put on that little innocent act, girl. You’re trying me, and I’ve had enough.”

A smile cracks onto your face, teeth sinking into your bottom lip. You wrap both hands around his one wrist and slip them up his arm, feeling the soft metal as you continue to goad him, “You got some proof, big man?”

The tip of his black and gold thumb prods at your lip, pushes just inside. You wrap your tongue around it and suck gently, keeping your eyes on his all the while.

Bucky laughs, deep and earnestly, “Proof, she says. She needs proof.” He glances around before he spins you quick, facing you away from him as he lifts your dress to reveal your pink satin thong.

You squeal loud, pushing and slapping at his hand as he grabs a handful of your ass, “Bucky! There’s people!” you laugh, “Oh my god!”

“Keep your voice down,” he warns, wrapping his metal fingers around your throat again, “Understand?”

A jolt of electricity flashes through you as you wiggle in his grasp. He tightens his grip around your neck as you wrap your fingers around the edge of the barrel, swallowing hard.

“That requires an answer, honey.”

The chill in his voice, added with the slow circles and soft tickles of fingertips against the back of your naked thigh sends a pang through your belly, “I understand.”

He chuckles soft and with a quick peck on the cheek whispers, “Good girl.”

Bucky curls his left arm around your chest, hooking your chin in the crease of his arm as he grips your right shoulder. You grab on to it with both hands, out of instinct, eyes wide and skirting around for any signs of other human presence down here. Bucky turns, moving you with him to eye the steps quickly again before that flesh hand sweeps around to the front.

The soft material of your dress falls over his hand as he rubs your stomach— his rings catching and snagging your skin. That hand pushes downward, over your thighs, gripping and kneading the soft flesh before he grabs the hem of your dress and pulls it upward, exposing those expensive panties again.

“Bucky,” you hum, his name trembling on your lips with the vibrations of your excitement, “Baby.”

He rucks your dress right up— right up around your waist and pulls the slack behind you, pressing his body into yours to keep it in place. The dark stubble adorning his cheeks and chin cuts into the side of your face as he nuzzles in, humming to himself soft before he kisses the corner of your mouth.

Those fingertips start to trace the hem of your thong— slowly. Back and forth, back and forth. From hip to hip. Your eyes flutter. Fingers grip the soft black metal of his arm a little harder. Legs go to jelly as another hard swallow passes through your throat.

“Ain’t got all that mouth now, do you?” He whispers, fingers slipping just inside the silk of your panties to tease the delicate skin underneath.

When he slips his hand in— all the way in— cupping hot skin, fingers dancing between folds and teasing a wet slit, an influx of air fills your lungs. A gasp, small and clipped sounds in the back of your throat as his fingers start a rhythm. You melt into him, head resting on his shoulder as your hips push forward to meet greedy fingers.

A naughty finger pushes in quick, and then a second— all the way to the black and silver rings dressed on them. His arm tightens around your neck as he presses his lips right against your ear, “You need to apologize.”

He fucks his fingers into you, withdrawing slow, and then pushing back in— each time the edges of his rings stopping him from going deeper. You can’t help but purr as you continue to grip his arm with both of your hands.

“I don’t think—“

“All I want to hear,” his words clip yours, each one slow and drawn and deep, “Is I’m sorry for testing your patience. I won’t do it again.” He curls his fingers, the pads stroking that sweet little spongey spot, making you clamp your legs closed around his hand, “Let me hear you.”

You can’t. You won’t. Too stubborn and too drunk to give in to him, wanting to win just this once.

If there’s one thing James Buchanan Barnes does not like, it’s hesitation. It’s dangerous, he always says. You think too long, you get hurt. Predators don’t hesitate.

Well, you like being his prey.

Only a few seconds pass before Bucky tuts in your ear, seemingly disappointed in your obstinate behavior, but you both know it’s just the opposite. His cock pressing into your ass tells you so.

The fingers disappear. The arm choking you just right pulls away and your dress falls back around the middle of your thighs. You huff, wiping quick at your forehead and pushing your wild, curly hair out of your face again.

Your hands find your hips in irritation but he slaps them away quick as he sucks his teeth, “You must really want this spanking, girl. Keep it up.”

That you do— keep it up. Huffing again. Crossing your arms over your chest like a petulant child. Brown eyes cut back at him over your shoulder to find sharp blues already on you. A smirk on his face.

Metal fingers curl around the back of your neck, pushing you forward gently until your thighs press against the old metal barrel again.

“Lean forward, kitten.”

Voice as smooth as silk while you do so, gripping the rusted edges for balance. Your dress is yanked up again— rough this time— and twisted around his Vibranium hand. Then there’s warm, the warmth of skin against yours. Gentle brushes of fingers and a palm rubbing slow circles, then pinching and grabbing soft— prepping your skin for what’s to come.

He pauses for just a second, no doubt to scan your surroundings and then pulls his hand away. You lung forward with the slap he levels to your behind within a fraction of a second— the sound sharp and heavy.

There’s another, and then a third in quick succession before he’s massaging your skin again. Real soft and sweet. Tears burn at the back of your eyes at the sting that radiates through, all the way to your bones but the molten heat deep in your belly spreads like a fire. Each breath is hard and shaky, heart thumping against your chest but it’s so good.

Bucky switches to the other cheek, skilled fingers sweeping over your canvas of skin before he cracks you— one, two, three.

You squeal with each one. The thud of those heavy rings around his fingers send a quick, new shockwave every time, building on the one before it. The tips of your fingers go red from holding on to the rusty old barrel as tight as you are, but your brain? She’s fuzzy and warm, and drifting up into the clouds with each swift slap.

Bucky is a methodical man. Three for the right cheek, three for the left, three right in the middle. His hand sneaks around your hip, giving it a squeeze before it comes back around and drops to the inside of your thigh. Grabs the meat of it— digs his fingernails in just to hear you yelp. Cups your cunt in his palm, feeling the heat and the wet— makes him groan all low and dirty.

He bunches your hair in his hand, tugs you up by it. Spins you around to face him before hoisting you up and settling you on top of the barrel.

“You want me to fuck you so bad, don’t you?” He growls, ripping at the button and zipper of his jeans.

You just hum in response, wrapping your legs around his waist and throwing your arms over his shoulders.

Bucky grabs your chin, forcing it up before he squeezes your cheeks, “Huh? Answer me.”

Damp eyelashes flutter as hot air escapes from parted, hot lips. He leans in real close, cock pushing right at your slit and kisses you hard as he slips his arm around your waist. He breaks away quick, sloppy and loud before pecking your lips once, twice, three times again.

“You want me to fuck you, girl?”

The weight of his words are felt right down to your core, a shiver passing between the two of you. You let your heavy head fall back and your eyes close as Bucky nuzzles into the side of your face, his pretty white teeth skipping along your neck, nipping and nibbling.

“I want you to fuck me,” you whisper after mere seconds, finally submitting in this cat and mouse game, “Bucky, please.”

That’s all he needs— all he wants. For you to submit, after letting you have the reins for one day too long. He sinks into you slow, spreading you open with each inch, biting down into the side of your neck as he bottoms out. His teeth dig in a little deeper, a little harder as he starts to move, rocking back and forth almost succinct with the waves of the water.

You’re moving with him too, meeting each of his thrusts with your hips. You keep your legs tight around his waist, feet dangling and bouncing against the back of his thighs. A trail of hot kisses are pressed along your neck and down your shoulder before traipsing back up— teeth grazing along your jaw.

Long fingers skip up your side and between your bouncing tits to only wrap around your neck again. They squeeze, gently, as his pace starts to pick up, hips shoving harder and faster— that old barrel starting to scrape against the wood floor.

The force makes you louder, moaning with abandon as if the two of you are all alone on this little ferry. Bucky makes quick work of you, shoving metal fingers into your mouth— giving you something to suck on to keep you quiet.

“That’s a good girl.” he growls, voice gritty and low.

He’s punishing after that. Each snap of his hips thrusting you backward, the barrel you’re on top of tipping back and then slapping down on the floor. You yelp with each one, your mouth going slack around his digits as your hands fall to the edges of the barrel for some semblance of balance.

It’s obscene, the way you can hear your fuck. The wet of your cunt. The squeak of his cock plunging into tight, slick muscles. The heavy thud of his hips pounding into yours. The slap of your flip flops falling to the wood floor as he’s quite literally fucked them right off of your feet. It’s filthy— crude— and so very Bucky.

You’re back on your feet before you know it— before you realize it. Spun back around, Bucky’s hard chest and stomach pressed into your back. He grabs both of your hands and places them back on the barrel, his metal hand staying on top of yours, fingers gripping fingers.

Eager hips wiggle back into his as you hiss and sink your teeth into your bottom lip, groaning low. Your head drops when you feel his cock push through your ass cheeks— wet cockhead pressing against your hot rim.

He starts to fumble around behind you, each passing second making you more and more impatient. There’s a soft click, and then a light suction sound— something squeezing.

“Bucky,” you hiss, pushing back into him again, “Hur—”

The word breaks off right in the middle as he levels a quick smack against your hip— a warning. Then your ass cheeks are pulled apart, wet, slimy fingers sliding and prodding at your quivering rim. He brushes slow strokes, circling, pressing his fingers gently as he preps your little hole for what’s to come.

“What kind of freak brings lube to dinner?” you smile, gasping as he pinches the inside of your thigh.

You lurch forward when he grabs the back of your neck and yanks you back into him, lips right against your cheek, “The kinda freak that was gonna fuck you in an alley after dinner. Now shut that mouth.”

He’s pressing again, this time harder, his cockhead popping into you with force. You grunt with the initial intrusion, Bucky stopping his assault to allow you time to adjust to him— but that doesn’t last long. Your mouth goes slack again. Eyes slam shut, head falls forward as he slips in, deeper and deeper and deeper until his stomach is flush with your ass.

He wiggles— so you can feel him, feel him tickling the deepest part of you. Slaps at your ass again, quick, fingers glancing off your skin and leaving behind a hell of a sting. Then he’s fucking you again, slower this time, savoring the tight, glove-like hold your body provides.

Metal fingers grab at the hem of your dress again, tugging it up before they push back into your panties, finding a swollen, hot nub. Pinching and rubbing smooth circles against it, flicking and thrashing at the bundle of nerves before he shoves his fingers back into your cunt. They curl, those fingers, and pet your insides with surgical precision— only James Buchanan Barnes knows how to fuck you like this.

The heel of his palm slams against your clit as he fingers you rough and fucks your ass with gusto. Sleazy sounds gurgle up in your throat, the slapping of skin and the waves crashing against the side of the ferry, the rush of the wind filling your ears. Bucky pulls you flush against him and slithers his tongue just beneath your ear before his teeth grab a hold, tugging soft.

Teeth keep nipping— along your jaw, your cheeks, ears, neck. He fucks into you hard as he shoves his flesh hand into the neckline of your dress, gripping your tits. Pinching and kneading hard, thick nipples, mumbling sweet nothings all the while.

Your stomach churns, muscles tensing and flexing as synapses start to fire off in quick succession. Quick goosebumps pop up along your skin as your stomach tightens and you can taste it it’s so close. Bucky knows it, feels it as your walls constrict around his fingers, your asshole tightening around him. Vibranium fingers keep rubbing, keep fucking into your pussy hard, palm slapping against your clit, adding more and more pressure until the coil snaps.

It’s hard, and sudden— your body freezing as your orgasm consumes you. Bucky clamps a wet hand over your mouth as you mewl and bite into his palm, your hips thrusting forward with each wave of your release. He pulls his fingers from you to slap at your jumping clit, pressing the pads into it before he rubs quick little circles and then slaps at it again.

He drops his hand to your chin, yanking it up as you nearly cry, mewling and trembling with your release to kiss you hard and sloppy as you come. He kneads your tits with his mammoth hand as aftershocks flash through you, your used body jerking at random. Within seconds, there's a cloud of warmth in your ass. Rough grunts in your ear, growing louder with each spurt of his cock, your hot muscles milking him.

You let him use you, let him fill you up full of his silk. Grab his hands and lace your fingers with his as he empties long ribbons in you. Pull his arms around your waist and hold them there as he rides it out, his head falling to your shoulder. The two of you stand there, resting against that old barrel, breathing hard, skin sticky and balmy. Salt from the ocean in your nose.

Bucky’s the first to pull away, glancing back at the stairs before he pulls himself gingerly from you, leaving your body empty, a dribble of his come slipping out with him. He catches it with his fingers, drags them up the back of your thigh and between your ass cheeks before he shrugs out of his collared shirt and white tank top.

He cleans you up sweet with the tank top. Keeps his arm around your waist to steady you as he wipes at your thighs and your hot, sticky, puffy cunt, shushing you soft when you jump and whimper at the contact. He flings the messy tank top over the side of the ferry and rubs your hips and stomach real slow, murmuring into your ear all the while.

Diligent fingers then rearrange your thong— and cop a little feel, cupping your sensitive, swollen sex, giving it a little pinch so he can laugh when you shiver and squeak. Bucky pulls your dress, tugging lightly to get it back straight around your waist before smoothing it over your ass and thighs— even pulls at the top, making sure your tits are sitting pretty.

You can’t even open your eyes, overcome by alcohol and sleepiness and a post sex high. He fumbles with your fingers as your head lulls on his shoulder, a soft hum vibrating in your throat in your murky haze. Bucky lifts your arm by the elbow, sliding his hand up your forearm until he’s cupping your hand in his.

“Open your eyes, baby.” You groan in protest, causing a chuckle to rumble through his chest, “Come on.”

So you do. You always do whatever this man wants you to do— and there, right on your finger sits that big princess cut engagement ring you teased him with days before.

“How about we skip dinner and find a church, huh?” he whispers, kissing your cheek soft and sweet.

You glance at him over your shoulder, eyes wet as a smirk tugs at the corners of your mouth, “And if I say no?”

“You just can’t help yourself, can you?” He laughs as you adjust in his arms, pushing up on your tiptoes to cup his handsome face and kiss him on those pretty pink lips, “Then I guess I’ll have to fuck some sense into that pretty mouth of yours, won’t I birthday girl?”

#bad things happen bingo #buckybarnesbingo2021 #ssb2021 #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x black!reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes fanfiction #5k...holy god

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cherry-bomb-ships · 3 years

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Rating All of Junkrat’s Sprays. Literally all of them. There’s like 37 or something

This is obviously gonna get long so I'm gonna put it under a read-more after the first five for the sake of everyone's dash (inspired by @cowboyologist rating all of his hubby Sigma's sprays 💝💝💝) Also some of these I had to go in and screenshot myself so they're not all transparent sorryyyy 😞😞😞

4/10, I do like how the title for this one is literally just AHHHH! as thats probably the noise most ppl make stepping into one of these things, but beyond that it's just so damn boring like. Okay it's Junkrat's steel trap with a gray and green explosive splash behind it. Ok and? NEEEEXT 🙄

11/10, gotta be honest I fucking love this one??? Like it's kinda terrifying but so is Junkrat so it works 😳💖💖 I srsly LOVE the eye sparks and how the teeth also spell "BANG BANG", it's so creative and cool and I LOVE ITTTT

-2/10 YOU JUST PUT THE OFFICIAL ART OF HIM THROUGH ILLUSTRATOR IMAGE TRACE BOOOOOO

3/10 The """cute""" Overwatch art style makes me want to spew but at least there is effort put in here, and this isn't honestly that bad if you can stand to look at it for a while. I like the lines a lot and the fact that his tire is nearly the same size as himself (plus his sharp teeth heehee), but jfc you could give someone blunt force trauma with that chin.

7/10 God this one is SO CLOSE to being perfect but I feel like the artist rly dropped the ball on his face?? Like his nose does NOT look like that in profile!!! Other than that I rly like the dynamics of the way he looks like he launched himself (hence the flames on his ass) and I also always love when they draw in the lil line details of his muscles hehehehehe 👀💖💖💖

8/10 He's Fuckign Green but I absolutely adore that lil shit-eating >:3c face he's making, he looks like he'd burn your house down and that's my favorite kinda rat art (plus this art style is so clean like ooooh I love when the spray art is GOOD)

200/10 NOW THIS IS THE REAL SHIT BABY, LOOK HOW FUCKING COOL THIS IS 👀💖💖💖💖 Like I literally can't think of anything bad about this spray, I'd get this shit on a sticker or a t-shirt in a heartbeat, it looks SO fucking cool

5/10 Cuz the artwork's fine and all (i'm especially looking at that fucking tongue oh my LORD) but I can't believe that actual official Blizzard art, they put his prosthetic leg on the wrong goddamned side??? LIKE I'M NOT LOOKING AT IT WRONG RIGHT?!?! I let that slide in fanart but like is literally official fucking art that is STILL IN GAME, LIKE COME ON it's not like this is something you can switch back and forth whenever you want, HE IS LITERALLY AN AMPUTEE and it feels kinda disrespectful to just completely ignore such an important detail, and you know what just writing this made me angrier so I'm demoting this to a 3/10

6/10 I mean they just took a screenshot from his Rip-Tire highlight intro and made it into a graphic but at least this one looks a lot better and they changed some things, plus I rly like the extremely sparse use of colors. Also the fact that this is called "For You" makes me just go 🥺🥺 For me?? 🥺💖🥺💖

100/10 I LOVE THIS SPRAY SO GOODAMN MUCH And thats for two little reasons: one, we get to see what his handwriting looks like and of course it’s messy and I adore that, BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY, THINK ABOUT IT FOR A SECOND. HE DREW THAT, meaning that his art skills are actually amazing and I couldn’t be happier about that 🥺💖🥺💖🥺💖 LIKE LOOK AT ALL THE DETAILS ON HIS GUN OMG Even if he just drew that from looking at it and not from memory, that’s still so good and I’m so proud of him and I can’t help but wonder if he would draw me 🥺🥺🥺🥺

6/10 it’s just kind of ehhhh but I do like the design and the stencil outline, I wouldn’t put in on my spray wheel in-game but it is rly cool lookin :3

-12/10 BOOO YOU JUST FUCKING PUT HIS IN GAME MODEL THROUGH IMAGE TRACE AGAIN 🙄🙄🙄🙄 I stg I think all of the OG Overwatch heroes have this issue where their sprays kinda suck because they didn’t know what to do with them and this one is just so boring and lame uuuuugh

50/10 THIS ONE IS SO DUMB BUT I FUCKIN LOVE IT OMG I just love the implication that he launched himself along with a bunch of fireworks and the way his eyes are goin two different ways is so funny to me, I don’t even mind that his hair is white cuz it matches the color palette of the image, absolutely an awesome spray 💖💖💖

9/10 Such a cool spray! I love how dynamic it is and the letters behind the tire is awesome as well! Nothing more to say than this one looks rly cool :3

6/10 I hate this King Candy lookin ass skin but I won’t lie that this art has a kind of... energy to it 😳 I’m just weak for that damned grin of his sjhsdfjk Plus apparently the pose is a reference to that one Willy Wonka sarcastic meme so that’s pretty cool

8/10 Yeah it’s basic but I love the icon sprays! I’m a sucker for negative space and I’m ALSO a sucker for Jamie’s twisted lil grin so this is an all-around win of a spray for me 💖💖💖

1000000/10 FUUUUUUCK *slams fists on table* I CAN’T ENOUGH OF THIS SKIN AND THIS SPRAY ITS SO HOTTTTT 😭💖💖💖💖 THE SMILE THE LIGHTING THE EYEBROW RAISED THE 5 O’CLOCK SHADOW ITS SUCH GOOD SHIT MAN AAAAAAUGH 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

8/10 It’s a rly cute spray but idk how I feel about the yellow eyes and >:o lips, but I do like the detail of his right arm and leg being obscured. Clever lil ref to Jamie’s amputations uwu Also I wanna meet this kid who decided to dress for a dangerous wanted criminal for his Halloween costume. I’m a bit concerned for him.

7/10 Not much to say other than it looks rly cool! I kinda like that he got a unique card design over all the other OVW anniversary card designs, and I love his dark eyes and grin and I’m definitely looking at his chest. Good job artist owo

10/10 When the fuck is Blizzard gonna start selling these as real ornaments I need him on my tree

9/10 The way the artist is trying to make this skin look mysterious and spooky with those Guy Fieri pants is so funny to me, but other than that, it does honestly look quite mysterious and spooky. Good job artist 💖

4/10 Yep thats his steel trap. Idk what you want me to say. In all honesty I don’t really like the sprays that try to look like actual spraypaint designs, I appreciate what they were trying to do but they’re always the most boring sprays 😞

20/10 I ALWAYS put this one on the wall at the beginning of every match, I absolutely ADORE his gremlin face and the silhouette is flawless, absolutely fucking wonderful spray, I would give it a Kiss

9/10 Point missing cuz this spray just isn’t usable without the matching Roadhog spray, but when they’re together it’s absolutely PERFECT, I love it 💖💖💖💖 (also I still haven’t played with a Hog who’s used this spray but maybe someday 😞)

50/10 I WANT THIS SHIT ON THE BACK OF A BIKER JACKET MAN IT LOOKS SO COOOOOOOL And I love how it’s supposed to be imitating Roadhog’s tattoo, plus the flames look like Junkrat’s hair (or his hair is supposed to look like flames *wink wink*) all in all this is so badass I want to eat it

15/10 Kinda boring that the face is just his official art but IT’S A FUCKING REFERENCE TO THE MASK STARRING JIM CARREY, AKA ONE OF MY FAVORITE FUCKING MOVIES SO HOW CAN I NOT LOVE IT 💖💖💖💖💖 THE SPRAY IS EVEN CALLED “SMOKIN’” I FUCKING ADORE IT OH MY GODDDDD

10000000100000000101011103/10 OH MY FUCKING GODDDDDDDDDDDD 🥴💖👀💖😳💖🥴💖👀💖😳💖🥴💖👀💖😳💖🥴💖👀💖😳💖🥴💖👀💖😳💖🥴💖👀💖😳💖🥴💖👀💖😳💖🥴💖👀💖😳💖

9/10 Once again it’s not complete without the matching Roadhog spray but this spray fucking rocks, and this one I HAVE matched with a Roadhog player in-game so it’s an absolute win 💖💖💖 Plus I love the Christmas tree shades and the Pinkie Out with his drink, god what absolute king shit

8/10 THIS ONE IS SO FUCKING FUNNY LIKE WHAT DID THEY DO TO HIS FACE HJHFDLHGKS It’s intentionally Fucked Up which makes it absolutely hilarious and I can imagine Jamie seeing this on a street wall somewhere and grabbing it to bring it home for us to crack the fuck up at 💀💀💀

6/10 Looks cool and is useful for when you want to disapprove of someone else’s spray by blowing it up, but other than that it’s just. Eh. It exists.

4/10 Another one that’s just kind of. Eh. The spray paint drip at least makes it a bit more interesting than if it were just in a hexagon, but yeah it’s just. Eh. This looks like the kinda spray a new player who thinks he’s hot shit cuz he just got this one out of one of their first loot boxes uses.

5/10 God damnit why are so many of Junkrat’s sprays just so MEH??? Like yeah this one looks cool but like. Okay it’s his gun and the circle outline has a spray paint drip! Okay!!!

100/10 I love it just as much as the other one with his frag launcher, like I said before: love his cute messy handwriting, love his genuinely impressive art, love him, love Jamie I LOVE MY SUNSHINE 🥺💖💖💖

7/10 Only so high cuz I like the idea and it was one of the first sprays I unlocked for his but other than that it’s just. Another meh one 😞😞😞 Also where is this supposed to be??? It looks more like a public park than anywhere in the Outback, I feel like it would be SO MUCH better if the background just looked like Junkertown or something but whatever. It’s meh.

8/10 A very quintessential Junkrat design, absolutely iconic and recognizable, I even have it on a t-shirt it’s that iconic. Absolutely love it tbh.

20/10 FUCK YEAH BABYYY For one of the basic release day sprays, this one is the fucking BEST and I could stare at it forever, plus it doesn’t have that bullshit issue of his prosthetics being on the wrong side like his “firework” spray has, I absolutely can NOT get enough of how unhinged and badass this art is UUUGH FUCK YES BABY 💖💖💖💖💖💖 (also I like the fact that he’s pretty dark here and it’s my theory that it’s from earlier in development where Junkrat was an Aboriginal Aussie which I still kinda wish they went with but oh well this spray still slaps)

10/10 God this spray is fucking adorable and so well-drawn too, and the pose makes me think that I just found this little gremlin in the backyard and he’s frozen with fear in the ray of my flashlight

9/10 It’s a shame we’re ending on such a basic one but I can’t deny that I rly do like this one a lot, I’ve used it in a few designs of my own and I really love how it looks 💖💖💖 Heeheehee SPEEN

#ruby rambles #💜: love burning like the sun #ok to rb #junkrat #also if it adds anything to my credibility im a lil bit of an aspiring graphic designer and probably know more than the average person #im no pro artist or even that amazing but i know illustrator pretty well uwu #but yeah this was just for fun so its not like yall have to take this seriously #if anyone actually reads all of these i love you

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wack-ashimself · 2 years

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everything everywhere all at once is TRUE art.

If you follow me (stalker), you will have noticed I rarely have a 'THIS IS THE BEST THING' or 'THE WORST THING' ever of entertainment. Things are generally in the middle, where it's usually predictable, repetitive, and boring. Tho recently I saw morbius and gave it the worst review I ever gave anything (3/10, but now looking back, 2/10), so there are exceptions.

This movie has set new standardS. That is a big exception for me from what I normally say. 10/10. I NEVER IN MY LIFE GAVE A 10/10 in a review on here (saying it out loud in my head, I could think of a few I would give a 10/10, but the list is probably less than 20 movies, and none I mentioned on here...except for enter the void. That is 10/10. And a mind fuck like this too).

Why 10/10?

Visually-I have done psychedelics. Watching this movie is like taking drugs without having to take them. No fucking joke. Few movies can do that because...it's expensive and time consuming to do it right. Also, you kinda had to have done psychedelics to portray them right.

Action-I didn't come for an action movie, but some of these fights are SO tight, you're like 'man, most real action movies suck.' FUCK your quick cuts. everything everywhere all at once is trying to make smooth transitions where possible and you give them credit! A full pan of people doing weird ass random fucking shit to get powers then fight? SO BE IT!

Acting-I am not going to go into this. Why? I have no hate on anyone, and only praise. I LOVED THIS ENSEMBLE! I like to say I preferred one over the other, but everyone worked so fluidly, it felt like timed perfection. The cast was like a well cut puzzle-they all fit together.

Direction/editing-they made it fun while not making it inauthentic. I mean, do you know how hard it is to make a SPECTACULARLY weird movie WITH heart? It's just not done...And that brings me to....

everything everywhere all at once' is true art.

I specifically say true art cuz almost nothing fucking is anymore. Art, IMO, follows 3 rules.

1-never been done before.

2-hits everyone a different way.

3-is as real as it can get (and that doesn't mean realistic-that means based on THIS reality the artist(s) create, these are the 'laws' that make this reality real).

And by god, did this movie hit every nail on the head.

You get spirituality, nihilism, sexuality, race, religion, sexism, generational gaps, gods, what ifs, alternative lifetimes, true love, family, friends, government, morality, immortality, love, and EVERY FUCKING THING IN BETWEEN.

And somehow, tho the movie is literally all over the place, and there is no way you can grasp at every fine detail, none of the insane amount of themes they cover feels that shallow. Sure, some breezed across, but with everything happening, it, again, makes SENSE for that reality...ies.

I just got to say kudos to whoever made the trailer-you sold the movie without giving away the best parts, and that's ballsy. Fairly, tho...a lot of the best parts were...weird and graphic.

Not going to give anything away, just...it set out to accomplish something, I think it did that, then some, then some more, and it is perfect.

This movie is perfect.

Is it for everyone?

FUCK NO.

I couldn't name....but a few people who I think would get it, let alone, enjoy it.

But if you are open to ANYTHING could happen, this is it. This is anything. Or more so ...everything everywhere all at once....

10/10. I Never gave a movie a 10/10 publicly. If I have, call me out. I want to know what the fuck I said is as good as this movie?

ps-best part? Without a doubt, EVERY SINGLE SCENE WITH THE STONES. I'm not giving anything away, but they are not only fucking philosophically deep (stones), fucking hilarious (still stones), but, (which makes it EVEN FUNNIER) probably the cheapest scenes to make in the entire movie. Seriously-the CHEAPEST parts of the movie were some of the best parts. I think if only for how god damn smart they were.

pps-this may be the weirdest fucking movie you will ever watch. And if you think differently, I challenge you to a weird off. Show me your weirdest media. And that does NOT mean the sickest, most brutal, or offensive. It means something so different, no one has seen it before/done it before. I told you: that's one of the rules of art.

#everything everywhere all at once #movie #movies #philosophy #psychadelics #drugs #lsd #acid #the daniels #2 stones talking #morbius #art #true art #weird off

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tomiyeee · 4 years

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Coming right back at ya with the same ask because now I'm curious - thoughts on each Half Life game?

putting under cut cuz it’s kinda long~

hl1 - indifferent, bordering on dislike. i can’t stand older games because the gameplay and quality frustrates me. i played the whole game in gmod (thank u to the person who made the resized maps addon) in order to keep the frustration to a minimum, but i can’t think of much that stood out to me about the game :(

opposing force - second favorite game! i despised fighting the military in the other games because im Bad At Games and they always killed me, so it was nice not having to worry about them so much in this one. the alien designs were cool and i LOVE adrian and the way he just...*clenches fist*...pets bugs.....boss fight sucked tho and the game still kinda got the same problems as all old games. altho the ending felt..really sad. not sure if it was supposed to just end on a black screen til you closed the game yourself but it did for me and somehow that just made it even sadder knowing that my boy is just trapped in purgatory indefinitely until gman/valve finds a use for him (if they ever do)..

decay - fun friend times! unfortunately me not processing plot points goes double for this game bc i can’t focus on that stuff when friends are around but i really like colette! she seems like a really fun character and i wish there were more voice lines from them cuz the few that i could find of hers were Extremely Good. love that woman and the way she just.....*clenches fist*.....*cackles maniacally*

hl2+episodes (grouping them together bc i don’t remember enough about them for it to be worth listing separately) - altho it still isn’t quite my type of game (i prefer open world/exploration and/or LOTS of npc interaction), it certainly is a step up from the older ones in the series in terms of gameplay, graphics, and character development. i don’t remember much past kleiner’s lab - usually when i try to replay it, the moment it throws me into combat im like “hm! i think that’s enough for today :)” - but i do have good feelings towards the whole beginning section bc of how much time me n my bffsie spent fucking around with those scenes in gmod. after that..not much i remember in detail (im sorryyy i only played through them once and i have bad memory + trouble processing what’s happening until the second playthrough), but i can say 1) i adored the antlion battle in ep 2 and played through that section multiple times just for funsies, 2) fuck the strider battle, 3) hunters. are so. fucking. cool.

alyx - aaaaaaa!!! the graphics!!!!!!!! the animation!!!!!!! the environment interaction!!!!! i want to play it!!!! tbh alyx was never really my type of character, but i love hearing her interactions with the other npcs and the dialogue is terrific (LOVE that vortigaunt dude). i’ve watched the first few parts of wayne’s playthru but i kept getting sidetracked so i’ve yet to finish it, but i like what i’ve seen so far :) i do wish more of the environment interaction from the first room(s) had carried throughout the rest of the game, but i can easily see why they didn’t. i just like vr games that allow you to play with ur surroundings (like job simulator) and the combat tends to blend together after a while so i don’t find those parts as interesting.

black mesa - yes!!!!!! favorite game!!!!!1! 10/10!!!!!!!!!! this is the only game in the series that i actively like and would want to replay multiple times. i know it’s technically fanmade but honestly it fixed p much everything that frustrated me about the original game and made it even better. i spent like more than an hour in the starting area just playing with every little thing and talking to all the npcs and i love how much more fleshed out they feel. PLUS!!!!! XEN!!!!!!! HOOOOOLY SHIT!!!!!! it’s SOOO much nicer in this game than the disgusting cheese blocks in og xen..gfuck. i would LOVE to just have a stand alone game that allows me to freely explore bm!xen because it’s so!!! gorgeous!! the puzzles were so much more fun and the environmental storytelling + atmosphere was so much better, and i loved that there was so much variety in the types of environments within xen. it feels like an actual planet with its own unique ecosystems and it looks beautiful. i kinda wish they had kept more true to the feel of the og nihilanth design, but the final boss fight is so much better, i love not having to wander around aimlessly bc the game fails to properly indicate what it is im supposed to do.

#ask #blue shift i dont have enough memories of to form an proper opinion but i remember finding both chumtoad and rosey in a box #ask game

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theartofbeinganeldar · 4 years

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The Art of Being an Eldar: Legolas x Reader Chapter 6

Summary: After discovering that you were stuck in Middle-Earth, Thranduil summoned a council of powerful Elves and wizards to see what should be done with you, expressing his wishes of wanting you out of his kingdom. The council decides to send you with Legolas on an orc-hunting mission, and if the Elves of the company that he deems trustworthy-- one of them being his own wife-- say that you've proven yourself worthy of staying among the Mirkwood Elves, then you can stay. The problem is actually managing to succeed...

Chapter No.: Chapter 6

Key: [Y/N]=Your Name [F/N]= Friend's Name [B/N]= Bro's Name [S/N]= Sis's Name [M/N]= Mom's Name [e/c]= eye color [h/c]= hair color [s/c]= skin color [lad/lass/y-o]= lad/laddie, lass/lassie, young one

Notes: So, I have finished the Silmarillion, and may I just say, wow. I have a whole new understanding of Middle-Earth. It's amazing and inspiring. I do miss Maedhros and Maglor already though... Now, I've finished Beren and Luthien and started The Children of Hurin next in my quest to read every book on Middle-Earth that there is, written, of course, by the Tolkiens.

Warnings: Fluff, angst, graphic depictions of gore and violence (Cuz of orc battles y'know?), more angst, slow burn, some light depression in the first few chapters, some amnesia about Middle-Earth because the Valar say you're not supposed to have foresight, hard-core language, feels, lots and lots of feels, mentions of NSFW content, maybe some eventual NSFW content, LGTBQ+ characters, Thranduil being a jackass at first because he's fabulous, Legolas being a hot edgy prince that nobody can handle, Kili being an innocent bean, Hobbits being smol innocent beans, except for Bilbo 'cause he's been through some tough shit, Bard being dad of the year, Thorin being one dumbass boi, awesome dragons, awesome Nazgul, awesome scenery, awesome stuff in general, Elrond isn't listened to by anybody, confused Aragorn is confused, Denethor's a bitch as always, brace yourself for creepy as fuck Cream of Wormtongue Grima Wormtongue, Boromir LIVES, au to where some of the Feanorians lived, Gandalf. (yes these are all legit warnings don't judge me.)

Pairings/Ships: Legolas x Reader, Legolas x you, Aragorn x Arwen, Faramir x Eowyn, Thranduil x Elvenqueen, Galadriel x Celery Celeborn, Boromir x OC, Maedhros x Fingon, Maglor x OC, Thorin x OC maybe Bilbo you won't know for awhile, Fili x OC, etc. general LoTR standard shippings plus some of my own cuz I can't stand my boys being lonely

Word Count: I try to keep my chapters short, under 2000 words.

Rating: Teen (14+) for now

Instead of Blue-Eyes meeting you by Starlight, it was Erestor, instead. Aside from the one time you'd spoken to him with Haldir, asking him about other continents (Which, it turned out, you'd misunderstood. Beleriand had sunk, and so had Numenor and Tol Eressea, and no one but the Eldar could reach Aman anymore.), you hadn't spoken to him.

He was an older Elf, kind of intimidating, with a bird-like demeanor and an expression that said Don't fuck with me.

So yeah, you were kinda surprised.

Still, you bowed in the Elvish fashion. "Len Suilon, Erestor. Ci maer?"

"Suilad. Ni maer, [Y/N]," He assured nonchalantly. "A gin?"

"Ni maer eithro." You looked around nervously, hoping Blue-Eyes would pop out of nowhere and save you from a further conversation in what would probably be your poor Sindarin with an age-old Elf. "So, her majesty chose me for this scouting mission, eh?"

"Indeed," Erestor inclined his head. "Your Elvish improves, if slowly. You do not hesitate in your greetings anymore."

"Thank you, sir."

"Come, and lead Starlight along," Said Erestor unfairly regally, and sailed majestically away. "Have you been practicing your swordplay diligently? You may need it."

You nodded as you followed him. "Yes sir. Legolas, Elros, and Lindir have made sure that they split my day into learning Sindarin, weaponry, and even the general Elvish way of being Elvish." You tried not to sound irritated about that. They literally never gave you any free time. Not that you'd brought any books to read, and not that you could read any Elvish, but that wasn't the point.

"Good," Erestor nodded. "What are your strong suits?"

Ah, shit. "Uhm... I can throw a dagger pretty hard? I can probably shoot somebody dead if I'm point blank, but other than that, my aim sucks. I'm somewhat okay with a sword, though, and I prefer two. Why?"

"Curious," Erestor replied all mysteriously, and that was all he said on the matter.

The Elves chosen for the scouting mission-- the Elvenqueen herself, with Blue-Eyes, Haldir, and Elros-- were gathered and speaking amongst themselves, while Thorin and Dwalin next to their very dignified ponies glowered at them. Balin was feeding his own pony an apple, muttering to it kindly. Compared to the Elves, who were naturally tall and lithe, the short and stocky dwarves looked outrageously tiny.

"Ah," The Elvenqueen's attention was on you faster than a supersonic jet's. "You have arrived."

You bowed deeply. "Your majesty." To Haldir, and even to Legolas just to be safe from potential Elvenqueen-wrath-2.0, you added, "My Lords." You turned to Erestor. "I'm sorry I didn't greet you with the title, I forgot what ‘my lord’ is in Elvish."

To your surprise, the Elves chuckled. Except for the Elvenqueen, of course. "You need not worry yourself, mellonenin," Elros assured you. "You are still learning."

The Elvenqueen inclined her head. "We leave at once, if all are ready."

There were positive responses throughout, and everyone present mounted up. You caught sight of Lindir coming out of his tent for the morning, and waved; he looked confused, but awkwardly repeated your gesture. "What on Arda are you doing?" Blue-Eyes asked under his breath, like you were embarrassing him.

You snickered. "It's like a 'hi' and 'bye' gesture for when you're out of earshot of someone you know. It's called ‘waving’. Everyone does it where I come from."

"This is not your world, [Y/N]," The Elvenqueen reprimanded firmly. You fought the urge to shrink in on yourself. "If you are going to be a part of it and learn our ways, then you must do so faithfully, leaving everything you know of your world behind you. Your land is nothing but a poison, and I do not want it infecting Middle-Earth. Am I understood?"

"Y-yes ma'am-- your majesty, yes your majesty."

"Good," Said the Elvenqueen, and then she continued giving orders in Elvish, while Thorin purposefully repeated them in dwarvish for Balin and Dwalin, though everyone present spoke fluent English-- Common. For you, Blue-Eyes translated what he could before he was called up to ride beside his mother, so then Elros and Haldir took turns explaining. The whole event left you feeling like a fish out of water.

***

It was around noon when the company halted, which Thorin and Dwalin had been leading on foot, while Balin kept their ponies tied to his own. At first, you assumed, lunch, finally, I'm starving, but instead, you'd stopped because Thorin had found a trail. "Orcs," He said.

Duh, you felt like saying, what else would it be? Bigfoot?

But after the Elvenqueen's earlier lecture, you kept that to yourself.

"Which way do they lead, master dwarf?" The Elvenqueen demanded.

Thorin huffed as he stood. "They go north, but they are heavy from travel. Wherever they came from, it is not from anywhere near the northern borders of Mirkwood or Erebor."

"Where else would they come from?" You blurted out before you could stop yourself. "Are there like orcish towns in the north or something? Maybe we could--”

"There is no such thing," The Elvenqueen snapped.

"The wargs that I had tracked were from Gundabad," Blue-Eyes said calmly, as if that hadn't ever been important information before. "The ones that attacked us on the river, however, were from Mordor."

You leaned over to Haldir as Blue-Eyes continued to speculate. "I'm confused. What's the difference?"

"Gundabad wargs are darker, lithe, and more agile," Haldir told you quietly. "They are more viscous, as well. A Mordor warg is more... Stout, I suppose you could say, and slightly lighter in color."

There was a flash of color before your eyes. Suddenly, you felt as if you were in a clearing of trees, surrounded by people in dark colors, while the sound of howls filled the air, unlike the ones you'd heard before.

These are Gundabad wargs! They will outrun you!

These are Rusteveld rabbits! I'd like to see them try.

You shook your head as you resituated yourself in the saddle. Well, that was sudden... It had been quite a few days since any of the strangely-familiar visions had come to you. You came back to your senses as Dwalin laughed uproarously. "Well, that settles it, then! To Gundabad!"

"Wait just a moment," The Elvenqueen said. "We are not all brash, Master Dwalin. We will go back and retrieve more forces before even thinking of going near Gundabad." With that, she turned her silver mare around and began trotting back, Haldir and Erestor on either side of her. Thorin, Balin, and Dwalin hung back, taking their time getting on their ponies and following after.

"Where's Gundabad?" You asked Legolas quietly; not that it did any good. Elves could hear grass growing on the other side of the continent if they wanted to. "And what is it?"

"It is northwest of here, in a cleft between the mountains," He answered. "It is an old fortress, from the time when the Dunedain first came to Middle-Earth from Numenor, if you remember." You nodded; he'd told you the entire story of the Silmarils and anything that went with it or after. "It was the gate that lead to the Witch-Kingdom of Angmar."

"Lead by the Witch-King..." You finished for him automatically. An eerie echo of a voice filled your mind: No man can kill me. At his impressed look, you scrunched up your face. "And what are you, French? How'd you make that 'h' sound in the middle of the damn word?!" You realized what you said only after you'd said it, and quickly looked to the Elvenqueen to see if she'd heard. If she had, she made no sign of it. "Sorry."

Blue-Eyes patted your back. "It is fine, Sairen, you can speak to me of your world, don't worry." With a cocky smile, he looked down at you smugly. "As for the pronunciation... You will learn to do it soon."

Back at camp, a group of Elves was already up and waiting to move out, and at the Elvenqueen's ringing voice, they followed after, and you all retraced your steps back to where Thorin, Dwalin, and Balin had found the orc tracks. You considered it pointless-- they could've just taken the host of a couple dozen Elves with them that way they didn't have to retrace their steps.

Partway there, you decided that goddamn song that'd been going through your head needed a damn good explanation. Unfortunately, Blue-Eyes was now up by his mother, leaving you between two totally random Elves. You'd never been good at starting up a conversation, but you decided to give it a try anyway. "...Hey, do either of you speak Common?"

Both Elves busted out laughing as if you'd made a hilarious joke about dwarves.

"Most Eldar can speak Common," The one on the right said, removing his helmet to look at you more clearly. Whoa. You practically fell off Starlight. He was beautiful. He had long, purely golden hair that fell down his back in unfairly glorious waves. He had soft blue eyes (Not as gorgeous as Blue-Eyes', but still.) and a fair face. "It would be considered quite odd, in our long lives, if one did not learn the tongues of others."

You just stared at him. "Dude. Are you like, made of gold?"

He laughed, which sounded a lot like something naturelike and unfairly beautiful. You'd never heard any of the Elves outright laugh, so this was a weird, new experience for you. "I have been asked many things, but that is new. No, I am just as flesh and bone as you are."

"Yeah, but yours are like, plated in gold, so, you're... Wow."

He laughed again. "What is your name, mellon?"

"[Y/N.]," You replied, in a daze, then leaned over quick to the Elf on your left, who tensed and tried to lead his horse away. "Do you even see this guy?!"

You turned back to Goldie. "A gin?"

As best as he could in the saddle, the Elf placed his right arm over his chest and bowed at the waist. "I am called Glorfindel. Gellon len covad!"

"Mae l'ovannen!" You said in response.

Glorfindel smiled at you. "What was your question, mellonenin?"

"Well thanks to you and your blinding gold-ness, I forgot. Give me a minute." You thought for a second, trying to ignore the literally glowing Elf beside you. "Ah! That's it. I asked if you could speak Common so you'd understand my question. You guys have songs, right?"

Glorfindel gave you a look like you'd just told him his hair looked like an orc's. "Of course we have songs! Many, many songs! They are as timeless as we are, and we, all of us, are taught these songs from a very young age. Did you wish to learn them?"

You shook your head. "Nah. I've never been good at singing." If I sang all you Elves would shatter like a glass in an opera-room. "When I got puffed here, a song started going through my head. I can never remember all of it. Just bits and pieces here and there. But it's really bugging me. So if I told you all I could remember, think you could remember one from your Elvish past?"

Glorfindel inclined his head. "I shall answer to the best of my ability."

"Okay," You wracked your brain for the lyrics. "Okay, uh... Something about leaving home, and fading... Lots of fading. The one sentence I can always clearly remember is 'all shall fade.'" You looked at him curiously. "That ringin’ any bells?"

Glorfindel thought hard. "If by that you mean if I can remember anything similar, I cannot. If it is a song of Arda, it is not one I know, and I can remember most Eldar songs."

That caused a lightbulb to appear above your head. You gasped, wide-eyed.

"Wait! You're Glorfindel?! As in, the Glorfindel?! The guy in Gondolin who tried to protect Turgon by fighting the Balrog?!"

"Ah, Turgon... He was a good friend."

"And when it fell it grabbed your hair?!"

Glorfindel flinched. "Can we not mention that...?"

"And then you came back to life to fight Sauron?!"

"Yes--"

"The guy who was in love with Ecthelion of the Fountain?!"

Glorfindel flushed, his face going a deep shade of un-Elvish red-- on him, though, it was more of a rose-gold... "Yes, I am that Glorfindel, and I would advise you hush before you draw the attention of the Elvenqueen."

Nervously, you glanced ahead, to where the Elvenqueen sat regally upon her horse. If she or Leggy had heard you, neither of them made any indication of it. With a giddy smile, you looked back to Glory. "This is so cool. Where I'm from, you rarely ever meet anybody so important. Now I've met some of the most important people of Middle-Earth! Ooh, am I also gonna get to meet the king of Gondor?!"

Glorfindel looked confused, but amused. "Gondor has no king, and has not for many, many years. Not since the death of Isildur. Now, the stewards of Gondor keep watch over the city and uphold its laws, and await for the heir to the Gondorian royalty to show himself."

"Or herself," You specified, fighting a wince as you heard a voice echo, Gondor has no king. Gondor needs no king.

Glorfindel raised an eyebrow. "Hardly ever is a mortal woman given any sort of royal duties alone. She would have to marry someone of high standing to be considered queen."

You scoffed. "Great. So the humans of Middle-Earth are assholes, too. Figured I'd escape from that."

"The race of Man is a fickle one," Glorfindel agreed. "More often than not, they are the cause of most grief in the world." He smiled. "But worry not! You are of the Eldar now, and are not subject to their torments."

You shrugged. "Good point..." You beamed excitedly at him. "Tell me about your adventures!"

He did, until the Elvenqueen gave the signal to dismount and to keep silent. You'd been so into Glorfindel's stories that you hadn't noticed that the trees had thinned out, giving way to loose, rusty-brown soil and rocky slopes. All of the Elves sailed silently over the rocks, while the dwarves trampled noisily.

For days (Which passed like extremely-long hours, and you weren't even hungry or thirsty or tired.), the procession trekked through the hills without any audible communication, until the huge hills rose up to your left and in the north into jagged mountains. You kept going, and going, and really wondered how any of the Elves that'd been left could possibly reach any of you for backup if needed in time.

On what was about noon of the week and a half mark, you came to an overlook that spread down beneath you into a huge, rocky valley, dry and desolate. There was no sign of life, and further still, about a couple days away by foot, was another tall, jagged outcropping overlooking a massive structure of bronze. Small black dots which you were going to assume were birds flitted about the top of it, and it stretched what looked like hundreds of feet into the air. You were astonished.

"We came all this way for rocky dirt and an old tower. I don't see any signs of life there." You kept your voice at a whisper, like some of the other Elves who'd began talking amongst themselves.

Blue-Eyes eyed the tower warily. "You're not supposed to."

You turned to watch him walk away. "Then what?" Blue-Eyes gave the Elves some order in Elvish, and you continued. "So we came all this way to see that it really doesn't look like there's orcs there but really, there are, so, what do we do? They've obviously got a shit ton of more orcs behind there. We're probably way outnumbered. So what do we do?"

"We," He replied, "Are going to do just what we came here to do. We're going to scout, by getting as close as we can and seeing what we can. Then we leave. It's as simple as that. If, however, we're ambushed, the rest of the procession has been following us slowly. They're only a couple of hours behind."

You frowned. You must not've gotten that memo because everybody felt the need to speak highly advanced Elvish when you only knew a couple ways to say "hi." "So what do we do if we see something we don't like? Attack?"

"If we can," Blue-Eyes told you, "But it most likely will not come to that. We simply came to see if they have larger numbers than those few who attacked us at the river."

You gave him an incredulous look with an eyebrow raised nearly to your hairline. "...Few?"

He scoffed, and walked off, giving orders in Sindarin that you only caught a word or two of. You were watching him with a glower, when you noticed Lindir sidling up on your right smugly. "...Do you not wish that you know what he is saying?"

You playfully rolled your eyes. "Ugh, Lindy, geez, can you read my goddamn mind?" You turned to mock-glare at him; he was preening. "Well? What was he saying?"

Lindir laughed and wagged a finger at you-- so Elvish. "No no no no no, mellon, I will not make it that easy for you. If you wish to know exactly what he said, then you will have to continue learning from your current point."

Your shoulders slumped. "Really? Damn. Fine, I guess, since it looks like we're camping here." And it did. Practically everyone was going around setting up bedrolls, but you seen no sign of a fire. "Glad it's warm-ish. What, we just supposed to freeze?"

Lindir gestured to Gundabad. "If we light a fire, they will see us, and our stealth will be for naught."

You gave him an odd look. "...What?"

Lindir blinked. "If they see us, our stealth will be for naught."

You stared at him blankly. "...Naught?"

Lindir suddenly looked panicked. "Do they not have that word on your world? It means the same as nothing, in this context."

You scoffed with a cocky smirk. "I know what it means. You Elves are just so damn fancy." You reached over and ruffled his strangely-perfect brown hair, to which he yelped and yanked away from you as if you'd tried to stab him. You left your hand in the air where his head had been, wide-eyed, as Lindir stared at you in shock. "Uhh... Got a sensitive spot on your head there?"

Lindir narrowed his eyes at you. "I should teach you Eldar custom as well. No Elf touches another's hair, for whatever reason, unless it is necessary, which is more than likely never to happen. Braiding and touching another's hair is considered something only for the wedded to do."

You yanked your hand away from where his head had been. "Sorry. I didn't know. Where I come from, that whole hair-ruffle thing is used between siblings or friends."

Lindir smiled softly, straightening his hair. "It is fine, [Y/N.]. You had no way of knowing. But, now I realize I must teach you language and customs-- or perhaps Elros can do that..."

You snickered to yourself, earning an odd look from the Elf. You shrugged. "Nothin', just, I've got specific Elvish teachers now. You're my language teacher, Elros is now customs, Legolas is history, and Glorfindel is music. I'm gonna be a true Elf before I know it."

"Maybe never a true Elf," Lindir laughed, "But close enough!"

You laughed with him, but on the inside, winced. You doubted if he meant it as an insult, but it hit you like one. No, you'd never been considered good enough to be a true anything, especially an Elf of all creatures, who were naturally shiny and glowy and perfect and shit. But still, for someone to confirm it, even in a joking manner, that you'd never be good enough to be a true Elf...

It really hurt.

You acted all casual on the outside throughout the rest of the evening, laughing and joking when needed, but internally, you were fighting a dull ache in your chest. You'd gotten it a few times before-- rarely, but still-- and you knew exactly what it was. The desire to fit in. You'd never had a chance on Earth. But here, you'd hoped to at least be considered a part of their realm.

Dammit, why am I so sensitive?! He didn't mean anything by it!

But what were you really doing here? Struggling to prove yourself to a race that would never accept you. To all Elves, you'd be considered an imposter, like Thorin had said. You knew for a fact you'd never be good around "the race of Man," as they put it, and even in this world, you knew you'd never fit in with them, either. At best, the Men would see you only as a rebel Elf trying to fit into the society of Man. Dwarves? Hell no. What about the Hobbit-folk? Maybe you'd at least be considered a friend to them? No, you were an Elf here. They'd be wary of you, maybe even fearful.

Maybe you should just settle for traveling like a vagabond, like Gandalf does. When everyone else was resting, you stayed by Starlight. You scratched underneath of his chin, and he rested his snout on your inner elbow, allowing you to rest your head on his, staring into his eyes and putting off a feeling of calm. "You accept me for who I am, right?"

Starlight's ears were pricked toward you, so at least he was listening. His only response was a blink. You sighed, closing your eyes. You didn't even have the security of him. One day, he'd grow old and pass away, while you lived on for eons. Carefully, so as not to spook him, you reached up and scratched behind his ears.

"Mellonenin?" Said a voice behind you. You turned to see Legolas, looking concerned. He glanced back over his shoulder, to where the rest of the Elves talked amongst themselves, even conversating a little with the dwarves. "What are you doing out here?"

You gave him a smug look. "What's this I hear, Blue-Eyes? Showing concern for me?"

He rolled his eyes playfully. "Hardly. Just curious."

You shrugged, going back to loving on Starlight. "Everybody seemed to be doing good without me. Lindir and Elros said my lessons on custom and language were done for the day, so I figured I'd spend some time with Star."

Blue-Eyes shook his head in exasperation. "I will never understand your shortening of names..." He fixed you with an expression that you couldn't quite read. "...Are you nervous about a potential battle, Sairen?"

You shrugged. "Hack'n'slash. Can't be that hard. I have played video games, y'know, and I did get here through a LARP event." You shot him a cocky grin. "I think I can handle myself. Always have."

Blue-Eyes smiled softly. "Well... I am certain you will surpass my father's standards. I have no doubt of it."

A warm feeling blossomed in your chest. Your cheeks flushed. "Thanks. That really... That really means a lot, for you to be sure of me."

Blue-Eyes hummed thoughtfully, smoothing down Starlight's pitch mane. "Your world did not appreciate you as it should have. You are a kind person, Sairen, and while at times you are eccentric, that only adds to your persona. I know that I can put my full trust in you anytime, and not be disappointed." He smiled at you. "I am glad to know you, mellon. I feel as if you were meant to be here."

For a minute, you both just stared at each other with smiles on your faces, while you felt all warm and fuzzy inside. Any upset feelings from earlier completely burned away. His pale gold hair looked white in the moonlight. Fuck, I will not cry. I will not. Not at all. Definitely not even having to try... You finally blushed and looked away, busying yourself with straightening Starlight's forelock, though the smile remained on your face.

"Damn, Blue-Eyes. You're making me blush." He laughed, and you added, "But... I'm really glad I know you too, Leggy. You've been nice to me, and actually believe in me..." You smirked at him. "That's rare for me. Thank you."

He looked almost appalled. "You do not need to thank me for taking a liking to you, Sairen. It is not as if it is a chore." Suddenly making up his mind about something, he drew his shoulders back. "Would you like to go for a ride together?"

You beamed at him. "Duh! It's a horse, of course I wanna go for a ride!"

Blue-Eyes laughed. "Come on, then, let's go. Stay close to me; we will be going in the opposite direction of Gundabad, but orcs could still roam these wilds."

You nodded as you mounted Starlight, grinning stupidly down at the stupidly perfect Elf who smiled at you. "Got it. Let's go!"

Your heart was pounding dangerously as the two of you trotted off away from camp, talking about the history of Middle-Earth, as you tried to keep from staring outright at Legolas. As your heart faltered, looking at him smiling at you as the moonlight hit his hair, you realized something...

Shit.

Tag List:

@hauntedsiriel @tesserphantom @taurlel @liviaolivia @brushwood-souls @dumbladores @littlefrenchfryesblog @hibernatingmadhatter @reclusive-chicken-nugget @naryamirie @legolasdeserveslove @escapingthoughtsandsecrets @sagabriar

If anyone wants to be added or if I missed anyone, please let me know!

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turtle-steverogers · 5 years

Text

safe with me

mmm here’s some canon era sprace cuz i never write that

warnings: past death (kinda graphic), alcohol

ship: sprace

word count: 1925

editing: no

Race kicked his feet onto Albert’s lap, humming contentedly as he toed off his boots, letting his feet relax for the first time that day. It had been a particularly hot selling day, the new Summer sun blaring relentlessly down on the city, leaving Race more tired than usual.

It wasn’t like the Summer bothered him. In fact, he preferred Summer to Winter. It was a lot easier to manage intense heat than intense cold. Besides, their clothes were all painfully inadequate for the biting cold of Winter, but that was never as issue in the summer. You couldn’t pull a jacket out of thin air, but you could strip down a layer.

Albert lifted the apple he was nursing away from Race’s feet, “Getcha stinky feet offa me,” he whined.

Race just smirked, lifting one of his feet to poke at Albert’s chin, “Nah, m’comfy right ‘ere.”

Race cackled as Albert groaned, trying to shove his legs off his lap, but huffing when Race stayed put.

“Can’t I ever enjoy a simple, quiet meal around ‘ere?” Albert complained, batting at Race’s foot when he tried to lift it again.

“Not with me around,” Race said, innocently.

Albert glared at him, holding challenging eye contact as he lifted a hand, a small smile flitting through his eyes as he began to tickle the bottom of Race’s foot. Race yelped, jerking his foot upwards and accidentally kicking Albert in the jaw.

“Ow, fuck!” Albert shrieked, successfully pushing a now laughing Race off of him, “Ya damn shit, I’ma soak ya.”

“Looks like I gotcha first,” Race countered, moving to cross his legs underneath him.

“‘Ey, Higgins, ya in here?”

Both boys looked toward the doorway, brightening when they saw Finch poking his head into the room.

“Right ‘ere,” Race said, waving to get Finch’s attention.

“Right,” Finch was shifting awkwardly on his feet and Race’s stomach sank. Something didn’t seem right, “Uh, Conlon’s outside. He, uh, he asked for ya.”

Race nodded slowly, allowing the words to sink in. His odd relationship with Spot Conlon wasn’t a secret, but they generally kept their little meetups private. It was rare that they ever met up in Manhattan. Usually, Race would head over to Brooklyn for a night, and even then, it would be awhile before he and Spot slipped upstairs unnoticed. They were never this blatant.

“Did he say what he wanted?” Race asked, trying to leave the nerves out of his voice.

Finch shook his head, “Nah, but he’s drunk as shit.”

Race paled, wordlessly standing and pushing past Finch. He could hear people murmuring behind him, but he ignored it in favor of rushing towards the front of the lodging house. Spot hated alcohol. He couldn’t stand the taste, or the way it made him feel, and the memories associated with it were enough to leave him trembling against his will. Race had never seen him do more than scowl at a beer bottle.

If he was drunk, something was very, very wrong.

Spot was sitting on the front steps of the building by the time Race got there, a bottle of god knows what held loosely in his grip. His head was ducked down, hanging low between his legs. He was completely still, but as Race neared, he could see the slight tremor of his hands around the bottle.

Race was careful to approach him, keeping his footsteps quiet, but loud enough to warn Spot of his presence. He cautiously knelt down in front of Spot, reaching out to tap his chin to get his attention.

Spot jerked, unfocused eyes meeting Race’s own. They were red and bloodshot, pain and something that looked sickeningly like terror swimming below the surface.

“Sean,” Race breathed, lips slightly parted as he searched Spot’s face for a clue to what was happening, “What-”

Spot shook his head, bowing his head back down, “I don’ wanna.”

Race frowned, “Don’t wanna what?”

Spot stayed still, his eyes glued to the ground between his feet, “I dunno, I jus’-” he looked at Race, desperation the only discernible emotion on his face, “I need you.”

A shiver went down Race’s spine, as if cold water had been dumped down his back. Spot never allowed himself to be this vulnerable, even around Race, whom he seemed to trust a greater deal than others.

Race blinked pushing his shock aside and mentally forcing himself to stay focused, “What do you need?” He asked, gently prying the bottle out of Spot’s grip and ignoring his weak protests.

Spot seemed to be having trouble forming his thoughts into words. He opened and closed his mouth a few times, looking increasingly distressed as each dragging second passed.

“Can I…” he swallowed, “Can I stay the night? I- I can’t- I don’-”

“Shh,” Race reached out, cupping his cheek. This sort of comfort was rare between them, but it felt necessary, “‘Course ya can stay. C’mon, m’sure Jackie’ll let us have his penthouse tonight,” he stood, hoisting Spot up with him, “ya good ta walk?”

Spot shrugged, “Dunno.”

Race sighed, “Aight, that’s okay. I gotcha.”

He draped Spot’s arm around his shoulders, firmly holding him around the waist as they made their way back into the lodging house. Race bit his lip, considering his options and settling to set Spot on the back stairs while he looked for Jack.

He found Jack in the kitchen, trying to sort out a quarrel between a couple of the littles, who seemed to be fussing over their bread. Race cleared his throat, earning a few awestruck look from the younger newsies.

Jack turned his head, the worn tinge to his eyes evident, even in the dim lighting, “Heya, Racer, whatcha need?”

Race’s eyes flicked to the littles and he jerked his head, indicating for Jack to follow him to the hallway.

Jack sighed, “Ya’d better not kill each other,” he muttered to the kids as he joined Race outside the kitchen. The kid’s giggles rang out behind them.

“What’s goin’ on?” Jack asked, looking vaguely annoyed and incredibly off-put.

Race scuffed his toe on the rotting wood floor, feeling strangely nervous to be asking Jack such a big favor, “Could I, uh,” he cleared his throat, “listen, so, uh, Conlon’s here-” Jack’s eyes widened and Race held up a hand, “-n’ he ain’t doin’ too hot, so uh, can we stay in your penthouse just for tonight? I wanna make sure he don’t do nothin’ he’s gonna regret.”

Jack frowned, shifting his jaw, “Not doin’ hot how?”

Race shrugged, “Dunno exactly, but he’s drunk and ya know he don’t ever drink, so somethin’ ain’t right,” he trailed off for a moment, thinking, “an’ he looks pretty spooked. Somethin’ bad happened over in Brooklyn I think.”

Jack seemed to have an internal argument before he clicked his tongue, throwing up his hands, “Yeah, go ahead. Jus’ don’t touch none of my drawings.”

Race saluted him lazily, already turning to retrieve Spot, “Will do, Kelly. Much appreciated.”

Spot hadn’t moved since Race had left him, but he seemed to be shaking harder now. Spasms were ripping through his torso and legs and it sounded as if he were struggling to take fulfilling breaths. He would gasp helplessly for a few seconds before forcing a deeper breath, but it didn’t seem to do the trick. Race watched him for a moment, his worry growing heavier in his stomach.

“C’mon,” he said, kneeling in front of Spot once more, “Jackie gave us the okay, let’s getcha somewhere quiet.” he helped Spot up again, his heart breaking as a ghost of a whimper escaped Spot’s lips. He seemed to curl closer into Race.

It took awhile, but eventually they made it up the ridiculous amount of stairs and singular ladder length to Jack’s penthouse. There were two mattresses up there, but Race decided to settle them both onto the one closest to the ladder.

The journey up must have worn Spot out, because he was already dozing by the time Race got comfortable. He pursed his lips, taking note of the way Spot’s eyebrows still scrunched, even in his sleeping state. He ran a gentle hand through Spot’s hair, pressing a soft kiss to the crown of his head before sinking into the mattress and allowing sleep to overcome him as well.

XXX

“Race?”

Spot’s small, scared voice jarred Race awake, leaving him alert in a matter of seconds. He sat up, taking a minute to gather his bearings before turning to Spot, who was also sitting up.

His teeth were chattering and he had his arms wrapped protectively around his stomach, eyes flicking helplessly around him. The lost aura that manifested around him almost made him seem younger.

“What’s goin’ on?” Race said, shifting closer to Spot, “What’s wrong?”

Spot locked eyes with him, terror growing stronger, “Where am I?”

Race blew out a breath. He’d been dreading this.

“Jack’s penthouse,” Spot’s eyes widened and he rushed to continue, “Ya showed up hammered as shit an’ scared as shit and I wanted ta take ya somewhere private.”

Spot seemed to relax, though it did nothing for his tense composure, “Oh.”

Race hovered his hand over Spot’s arms, waiting for the nod of approval before carefully pulling one of his hands away from his stomach and intertwining their fingers, “What happened, caro?”

Spot looked down at their hands, a slow eruption seemingly happening in his chest as he began to speak, “I...Boots, uh, ya know. The little bugger from my borough,” he stopped for a moment, forcing a deep breath, “he, um, he was messin’ around in the streets today ‘cause it was warm enough ta play and he-he-” Race squeezed his hand, prompting him to continue, “he didn’t see the carriage comin’ an’ I tried ta warn ‘im, but,” Spot shook his head, “was too late. Ran ‘im right over. There-” he choked, “there was so much blood, Racer. Ain’t never coulda guessed there was that much blood in such a lil’ guy, but it was all there. On the pavement, on the carriage, on his clothes...on my clothes.”

Race sucked in a breath, feeling slightly nauseous. He forced himself to push the images that entered his mind out.

“He was my responsibility,” Race looked back at Spot as he spoke again, “he was my fuckin’ responsibility an’ I-” He cut himself off, blinking rapidly as his face crumpled, giving way to a vehement sob.

Race ran his thumb across Spot’s knuckles, searching for the words to say. There was no way to fix this- no way to take away Spot’s pain, but damnit if he was going to try his best to make him feel safe again.

“My mama used ta say this thing to me,” he began softly, “when things were bad, or my dad was mean, she’d say, ‘Tieni duro, passerà’. Over and over, she’d repeat that, until I eventually believed her.”

Spot hiccuped, looking at him, “What’s it mean?”

“Stay strong, it will pass,” Race said, confidently, “whatcha had ta see sounds like hell, but it’s not your fault, Spot. Sometimes shit happens an’ it’s fucked up, but it’s jus’ how it came to pass. Ain’t no one’s fault.”

Spot let out a shaky breath, leaning into Race’s chest.

“An’ ya know what?” Race asked, wrapping his arms around Spot and burrowing his nose into his hair, “Sono qui per te, tesoro.”

Spot hummed, sending warm vibrations through Race’s chest, “What’s that one mean?”

“I’m here for you, love.”

sorry if the italian was wrong lol

thanks for reading, chiefs

hmu to be added to my tag

TAG LIST: @bencookisagod @we-dont-sell-papes @suddenly-im-respecsable

@aw-jus-let-em-try @well-the-kids-do-too @spot-conlon-king-of-brooklyn @felix-loves-albert-and-ralbert @technically-whizzy

@andthewoildwillknow @the-newsies-justice-for-zas-blog @sunshine-e-cigarettes @have-we-got-news-for-you @musical-shitposts @thebroadwayaesthetic

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@bitching-newsboys

@orollyitsracetrackhiggins

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@bastille-smedry

#newsies #sprace #spot conlon #racetrack higgins #yeehaw #newsies fic #yeah #angst

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thereisonlyonereality · 4 years

Text

just 2 be honest...

my relationship was over 6 months before it ended. we were just too afraid to cut the chord. we really did care about each other and we really did want it to work—oh well.

when it ended, i was looking forward to the “year of the julia” where i just wouldn’t deal with fuck boys (or any boys) and just get my first apartment in NYC. work on my writing portfolio and my art and do my thing—sans men.

then quarantine hits like two weeks later. i’m stuck upstate with my mom cuz i didn’t find an apartment before everything shut down (which, honestly, is kind of a blessing i think...) but i am BORED BORED BORED. so bored.

i’m in the town where i grew up so going on walks isn’t particularly rewarding... i don’t really know how to drive (or have a car lol) i’m just restless. so... i hopped on the old dating app (okc) mostly just to fill out more dumb survey questions...

i swiped right on like, 3-4 guys out of like, 1000–lol. and i started talking to one mostly just to break the monotony of my life. (and to stop thinking about my other ex, who i have confusing residual feelings for who’s been talking to me from time to time)

as for okc guy, he’s hard to get a read on. we don’t text every day but when we do, it’s usually ALL day. he has a really fucked up sense of humor, similar to me, and we mostly just goof off.

one day tho my mom was kinda forcing me to watch that zoom disney song-along thing on ABC with all the celebrities and ariana grande was singing i won’t say i’m in love from hercules and i was getting my period so obviously i started texting okc guy about how i hate sex and men are scum—cuz i figured i have nothing to lose.

he got pretty serious and was being really kind and supportive about it—which is weird for a relative stranger who, up to this point, i’ve only texted about incest jokes and shit (lol idfk!!!) and then i just went over the wall and told him about how i hate my pussy because i was bullied in college about it and how i can’t even take a shower without having trauma flashbacks and like, idk if he was just bored but he was hanging in there for the ride and telling me things that i’ve always needed to hear but never.. had.

the one thing that sticks out the most is that i was popping off about how i don’t enjoy sex and i just do it to get guys to like me/stay with me. and he said “i’m not expecting us to have sex if we meet. i already like you so you don’t have to worry about winning me over with a blow job.” and i was just like.... really taken aback???

like... does he mean that? is that possible? my ex said that if i didn’t have sex with him by the second date we probably wouldn’t have had a third. almost all the guys i have ever met, there’s been sexual expectations. like, if you like a guy you HAVE TO have sex with them if you want them to stick around... so idk. it made my neck get all hot...

and since i don’t know how to just accept kindness and move on... i started sexting him graphic descriptions of how i would suck his dick if not for the quarantine. but then even the SEXTING got ~tender~ cuz we started talking ~around~ the sex, like, not just about genitals and fluids. but touching. kisses everywhere. taking it slow. the exploration part. and i was like “what the actual fuck is going on???”

and idk, now i’m actually interested even tho i had no intentions of this shit even... happening. and and and NOW... he hasn’t texted me in 2 days lol.

whatever. at least i’m not thinking about my other ex that i’m still in love with. now i’m just pining over random okc dude and checking my phone and just. ugh.

so much for year of the julia! fuck coronavirus. lol

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bigskydreaming · 5 years

Text

Seriously, for fuck’s sake, I know that post was AT LEAST as far back as December, if not more, and it literally had less than ten notes just two hours ago.

But remember! I’m on a fucking CRUSADE! I just want to take away peoples’ rape fics and harmless kiddie porn fantasies and I just can’t respect the fact that as long as people just TAG their ‘herein lies my advertisement of the fact that hahaha, omg I think what happened to you is actually kinda hot and sexy giggle giggle aren’t I so TABOO????’ smut like lol okay, well that doesn’t affect me at all, I’m not remotely bothered by having to spend every single day wading through reminders of how much more fascinating people find rape than actual survivors of said things.

I’m the one who has no idea how to live in a society with other people and suck it up and deal with the fact that sometimes, people do and say things that make us uncomfortable and we wish we could avoid, but just shut the fuck up and keep that to yourself, right? Don’t like....TELL people they’ve made you uncomfortable and are doing things that you wish they’d think about more critically, gosh, all that’s gonna do is make THEM uncomfortable then, why couldn’t you just kept it to yourself, how dare you think TALKING about problems is the solution?????

Yup yup, I’m clearly the one who has no boundaries and no regard for other people and can’t let people just have their harmless fun, their different opinions that don’t actually affect me, I’m the one who just can’t seem to stop from hunting down posts I don’t agree with and hopping on other blogs and resurrecting weeks or months old posts just to make sure EVERYONE KNOWS THIS POST WAS WROOOOOOONG. Lmao.

Well I’m very sorry for all that, now that mine eyes have been opened! Rape fics are harmless and this is all just fictional, nobody is actually affected in a negative way by anything being talked about here yaaaaaaay!

Anyway, I’m off to spend the rest of the night trying to calm down lolol because fun fact for people who love to talk about being triggered but have no real clue what they’re actually talking about and how that word was never meant to describe being like...upset or angry but rather the stimuli or situations that put survivors and people with PTSD and other mental disorders into actual goddamn panic spirals and attacks. And thus like, triggers are not as fucking obvious as some of you seem to think they are.

Like lol guess what, I actually can read a scene wherein someone’s raping someone in a scene that looks or sounds EXACTLY LIKE MY RAPE and it can be heart-wrenching and it can be graphic and it can be emotional and I can still not be triggered by that! Know why? Because shockingly, I AM aware that this is just fictional! That these are just fictional characters! That no fictional character and no real person has been harmed in the writing of this scene, because FICTIONAL CHARACTERS CAN’T BE HARMED! Know what else fictional characters can’t be? RAPED. Because rape is not a VISUAL, rape is not an ACTION, rape is not a SPECIFIC SEQUENCE OF EVENTS. Rape is a THEFT, it is one person STEALING another person’s ability to control what happens with their body, taking what they have no right to take, just because they WANT to, just because they CAN. And thus NO rape scene, no matter HOW well written or realistically depicted, is ever going to BE a rape scene, just like no ‘rape fantasy’ roleplay is ever going to BE rape because without an actual DYNAMIC of one person taking something the other person has no power to stop, when its two equally consenting partners or two flat fictional characters on a page, it is still nothing more than a SIMULATION of rape, and NEVER ANYTHING MORE THAN THAT.

And guess what? I can handle THAT just fine. THAT doesn’t trigger me no matter how much it reminds me of my own trauma, because I KNOW DAMN WELL THAT ISN’T REAL.

But you know what IS real? You know what DOES trigger me? The CONTEXT of the scene. The REASON it was written, the intended REACTION of the reader.

The part that makes me lose my fucking shit is when I’m forced to face the reality that this scene exists, was written, because somebody found it HOT and SEXY and wanted to share it with people who’d see it the same way. The reason I lose my goddamn MIND and my adrenaline ramps up and my whole body starts shaking as my fight or flight instincts kick in with no actual outlet because there’s no actual threat, just the phantom reminder of a threat I couldn’t escape from....THAT fun little adventure comes from looking or hearing about things that remind me of my rape, take me back to that fucking room and make me a terrified out of my goddamn mind dumbass nineteen year old all over again.....and knowing that this is HOT to the writer and readers, that this is intended as sexually gratifying, that this scene, this depiction, this simulation of one person STEALING from another powerless person SOMETHING THEY WILL NEVER EVER FUCKING BE ABLE TO GET BACK AS LONG AS THEY LIVE, THE SENSE OF SAFETY AND SECURITY THAT COMES FROM BEING THE ONLY PERSON WHO GETS TO DECIDE WHO HAS ACCESS TO YOUR BODY....knowing that this little smutty fic exists so people can read this and be TURNED ON by this, so they can GET OFF to this, this thing they’re looking at in their mind, reading about, picturing as they stare down at their screen getting all hot and bothered....

JUST LIKE MY FUCKING RAPIST LOOKED WHEN GETTING OFF FROM TAKING THOSE THINGS FROM ME.

THAT is what fucking triggers me, THAT is what makes me feel unsafe and panicky, THAT is what traps me all over again in that fucking goddamn room and leaves me STUCK there no matter how many years its been and HOW far I’ve come in getting past it...

THE CONSTANT NEVER ENDING REMINDER THAT PEOPLE THINK ITS TOTALLY NO BIG DEAL TO FUCKING AGREE WITH MY RAPIST ABOUT HOW FUCKING HOT AND SATISFYING THE VIEW IS FROM UP THERE.

And all the fucking trigger warnings in the world don’t protect me from THAT, they just emphasize how little people actually give a shit, they just want the magic answer to how they can have their fun ‘harmless’ little rape KINK without having someone make them feel bad for the fact that the rank goes FUN RAPE FANTASIES YAY first and survivors who have a problem with that way the fuck last.

Anyway, so that’s what I’ll be doing all night! Links to my paypal and my ko-fi are on my main blog page if anyone’s ever felt informed or learned anything from any of my many, many, MANY posts about this stuff or any form of gratitude for the effort I DO or at least once DID put into sorting through my thoughts and making my points in some kind of way that actually addresses the usual conversations around all this.

Because guess what? It IS goddamn fucking emotional labor. It DOES take work! Its EXHAUSTING. It HURTS. I would give anything in the world to NOT pick at that giant fucking scab as often as I do, but I DONT HAVE THAT OPTION. Because not talking about it DOESNT MAKE IT GO AWAY. It doesn’t make LESS for me to have to navigate through every goddamn day of my life and you know what the suggested response to problems that you can’t fix on your own are? Problems with SOCIETY?

HAVING GODDAMN CONVERSATIONS ABOUT IT.

So excuse me for SAYING that as often as I do especially cuz every time I DO I get maybe ten notes of acknowledgment that anyone’s even fucking LISTENING but meanwhile here’s another fucking five hundred on a Batfam or X-Men shit post, now THAT’S the content people want from me!

Guess what! I WANT THAT TO BE MY CONTENT TO!

I would LOVE nothing more than to just be able to happily and comfortably shitpost about my favorite superheroes and write stuff I enjoy and that doesn’t have the flaws I rant about seeing in so many shows and books. I could talk for HOURS about fun thoughts and ideas I have in my head, I could banter back and forth with my friends about nothing of substance at all for DAYS, I don’t NEED to fucking retraumatize myself every goddamn day screaming into the void about this shit so I can feel IMPORTANT or have something INTERESTING to blog about or whatever the fuck people think is my reason for ranting about this shit. ALL. THE. GODDAMN. TIME.

But I can’t do that, because there is not a fucking day that goes by, not a DAY where SOMETHING doesn’t cross my dash, or SOMETHING isn’t on an Ao3 page I’m searching through for fic about a fave character, that doesn’t set me off and make my body start shaking with how deeply, fundamentally UPSETTING it is to constantly be bombarded with reminders of just how easy people find it to reframe my trauma as something hot and sexy and WAY MORE WORTH DEFENDING than the very thought of me going ONE FUCKING DAY without having to stumble across bullshit like that. Because I CAN’T ‘dont like/dont read’ as much is out there. I don’t need to click on a fic to see this is smut fic by an author who thinks rape is hot and judging from the number of kudos and comments and hits is definitely on to something! GUESS I DID MY RAPE WRONG THEN, cuz it wasnt fucking hot for me!

I would love to just ‘avoid’ it so I can actually ENJOY my fucking time on the internet. But I CANT. Because its EVERYWHERE. And god forbid I try and start fucking CONVERSATIONS about that so that maybe, someday, after we’ve done the work as a society to examine WHY PEOPLE ARE SO FUCKING INVESTED IN THIS STUFF, I or at the very least people like me, can someday enjoy one day on the internet where they DONT have to constantly wade through an endless swamp of that shit.

Honestly. Seriously. I have said it so often I can not count. I do not want to censor anyone. I do not want power over what people can read or write. I just. want. to TELL people that when they write this stuff, it has CONSEQUENCES, that there are people it DOES hurt, and have them LISTEN, so that at least, at LEAST the ones who are bothered enough by that realization to NOT be comfortable writing it when faced with the awareness of the fact that their writing HAS THIS EFFECT WHETHER WE SAY IT TO THEIR FACES OR NOT, that THEY at least can decide....hey. What if I just...wrote something else instead?

But what the FUCK am I supposed to do with the constant, incessant reminder that people would rather dig in their heels in defense of their RAPE FANTASIES than roll up their sleeves and do a little fucking examination of WHY they and society at large are so fucking invested in this shit that the very IDEA of ‘giving up’ content like this for the sake of people who have actually LIVED through it, is just....INCOMPREHENSIBLE to them? That they feel ATTACKED by the very idea?

(And don’t fucking come at me with that ‘some survivors use it to cope’ stuff. Yeah, well I used to get in bar fights as my coping mechanism. Didn’t fucking mean it was healthy, and it wasn’t fucking harmless to anyone I punched in the goddamn face, now was it? Also, if you’re not a survivor and you hide behind that line, FEEL FUCKING ASHAMED for thinking of it as a kneejerk response to another survivor telling you your “kink” fucking hurts).

I’m out. See you all later.

#rape cw

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scoobydew4u · 7 years

Text

Decided to do a drabble for my Fallout character, Declan Mercer! Tagging @cassie-qq cuz I said I would do the thing! Also putting below the cut cuz it’ll be a little graphic.

Declan sighed. The hydraulic line in the left leg of Knight-captain Ramirez’s T-60 power armor was severed. Again. Though he was a decent enough squad leader, the jarhead was a little gung-ho when it came to charging into a fight. This left the poor Field-scribe up to his ass in repairs after almost every engagement. He spent about as much time, if not more patching together the armor as he did collecting technology and documents. Although, Declan could hardly complain... he liked tinkering, and hated resting on his laurels.

Grabbing a pair of pliers, he bent back a piece of metal to get at the plastic hoses that were behind it. Sure enough the inside was dripping with fluid. That could be replaced, but he knew the hose would have to be patched, considering he had no lines to replace it with. Grabbing a bit of duct tape, he begrudgingly began to wrap it. It would have to hold until he could call in a requisition order from the Prydwen.

The ripping of the tape was so loud he didn’t hear the footsteps behind him. His hat was whapped off with a chuckle, earning a growl from the scribe. “Hey, Mercer! Ramirez asked me to get you. Said he has something he needs you to do.” Declan sucked his upper lip into his lower and glared at the initiate. “Yeah, because this suit is going to fix itself! So silly of me to assume it needed my help patching a line! Isn’t that right, Mr T-60?” He stood and turned the helmet a full 180 degrees. He then spoke in a comically higher pitch. “I got dis, Dex! Don’t worry, I’ll take care of it!”

The initiate rolled his eyes, “Can it, egghead. I just do what the Knight-captain tells me to. Now, get your butt outside.” The man turned on his bootheel and stomped out, leaving the scribe fuming. He kicked a wrench across the floor, landing in a trash pile that seemed to be in every corner of the outpost. He hated this place. “...Brahmin’s ass.”

Declan stepped outside into the afternoon sun, covering his eyes despite the hat he wore. There, he saw the other two initiates and Knight-captain Ramirez, sans his armor standing around a cuffed and kneeling individual. He approached warily, before Ramirez reached out and grabbed him, pulling him close. “Glad you could join us, Corporal Mercer! We’d like you to meet D22H. Found him running with one of those Railroad scabs. Say hello, D2!”

The man, who was clearly a Synth considering his name, looked up at Declan with frightened eyes, “P-please! Don’t hurt me! I’m not gonna hurt anybody, I just wanna find a home!” Declan, turned to the Knight. “Uh... what’s this about? I mean, you honestly don’t need me to do this kind of thing, right? I just patch people and machines up!” The Knight raised a brow at the Scribe, “Yes, but we decided to let -you- do it this time. You know, to let you show your loyalty to the mission!”

Ramirez pulled the laser pistol from Declan’s side, thrusting it into his hands. “Do your duty, soldier. Just because your a scribe doesn’t mean you didn’t swear the oaths like we did. Execute him.” The two initiates chuckled off to the side, watching the scene. “C’mon, egghead! Be a man!” Declan gripped the pistol, leveling it at the poor synth’s head.

Everything seemed to go quiet, Declan’s heart pounding. Thump, thump, thump. The synth’s eyes were wide, his body trembling. Thump, thump, thump. The initiates cheered the scribe on. Thump, thump, thump. Ramirez mouthed the words ‘Do it’, although he couldn’t hear the sound. Declan’s chest went tight, a feeling he hadn’t felt since killed his first raider long ago, in self defense.

Snap. Declan whipped around, aiming the pistol at the two initiates. Crack, crack. Two shots popped out, the heat of the blast piercing the air. The initiates dropped to the ground, one losing his head completely. The stump of his neck cauterized immediately, limiting the mess to a few spurts. Then the scribe aimed the weapon at the Knight.

Ramirez was caught off guard, raising his hands above his head. “HOLY SHIT! D-Dex! What the FUCK did you do that for!?” He gasped for breath, “L-look, just lower the weapon before this gets outta hand, okay? I can help it look like an accident! Or Gunners! Yeah, Gunners use laser weapons, right?”

Declan shook his head, “Like you would! You spout the Brotherhood ideals more than anyone I know! Lying to command? To Maxon? This is why you always lost at Caravan... you couldn’t bluff to save your life!” Ramirez scoffed, “But why? It’s a SYNTH, for Christ’s sakes! A -machine-! It would’ve taken on the life of someone else, replaced them! Why are you defending it?”

Declan frowned, “Can a machine feel fear? Because I can see a lot of fear in HIS eyes. He’s about to fucking piss himself, for god’s sakes! And you would just destroy him like a Protectron on the fritz?” Ramirez looked at him sidelong then, gauging him. “...I thought better of you.” He growled under his breath. A moment later he lunged his hand to his lower back, reaching for the pistol he kept there.

CRACK. Declan pulled the trigger. The beam reached Ramirez in an instant, and the man screamed in agony for a split-second as his entire body broke down. A red light encompassed him as his flesh turned to ash, until his skeleton flopped to the ground. He was gone.

Declan felt dizzy. He had killed his entire squad. This was treason. Maxon would execute him himself if he was caught. He had to think quickly. Taking his hat off, he dropped his pistol and drew a pocket knife. He removed his glove and sliced his hand open, sparking pain. Dribbling some blood on his hat, he then held it over the pistol and allowed some more to drop onto that as well. He then dropped the hat. Walking over to one of the initiates, he pulled a key off his belt and moved over to the Synth, opening the cuffs and setting him free.

“Thank you! You’re the kindest person I’ve met outside the railroad-” Declan held up a hand, “Nah, I’m not... I mean I just killed three people, isn’t that kinda... not kind? You know, killing people is bad and all that? Don’t answer.” He turned, walking away. “Do yourself a favor. Get a name. A real one. You’ll end up in less situations like this.” The synth blinked, watching as the former scribe retreated into the Commenwealth wastes.

#Fallout 4 #Declan Mercer #Drabble #Violence tw #Blood tw

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cosmeticsurgeryfrance · 7 years

Photo

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Here is an update from a channel we found watch, listen and enjoy as you learn all about a typical face lift/ liposuction. Today I'm doing a very requested video that I have been waiting to do it for quite a while because I was waiting for my jawline to be fully healed from my laser lipo ok so a ton of people wanted me to do this video I'm kind of talking all about it my results I'm healing I am pretty much almost healed now I have to wear my head wrap for approximately two or three more weeks but out of three months so pretty much all my swelling is gone I'm the surgery I was amazing and it was just a really great experience that I wanted to do for so long if you watched my my secret video it was the big secret that i wanted to talk about it was doing this and I won't lie like a lot of you guys her supportive but a lot of people were upset with me about it I am very body positive on my channel here and I talked a lot about loving yourself and you know being happy with your body and who you are but I also think it's really important that if you want to change something you're more than welcome to change it because it's your body is your life do what you want to do with it. I am really really happy with my body I've lost a lot of weight over the years and I'm still plus size i'm still 14 or 16 and it was just I couldn't lose weight in my face and I have it's something that I could just never really lose it's totally okay to have a fuller face and it's totally there's nothing wrong with having a quote unquote double shit like I don't know what what the proper polite term for that is I don't really like calling it a double chin it just sounds kinda I don't know that sounds kind of rude but I'm there's nothing wrong with having that like it just it was my own personal thing that I wanted to change about myself and I wanted to change for so long and I'm comfortable with my body and I didn't know how to just lose weight in my face even have one of those things that like that neck exerciser, trust me i did that religiously and I still couldn't lose weight on my face. The older I get and the more I learned about myself it I've really come to the conclusion that you have to do what makes you happy as a person you can't worried about other people's thoughts you kind of have to just do what is right for you and what makes you happy and content I just I don't want to encourage you guys to go and get laser lipo if it's you know if it's not something that you should be doing. I lost weight the old-fashioned way with diet and exercise and I learned portion control is exercised and all of that but it's like I said, it's just it was really hard for me to lose weight in this area and it was just something I was really self-conscious about i mean i'm going to be real here i'm a you tuber i constantly filming myself i watch myself and you know even even four years before that I always remember just not being comfortable with that part of my body and I tried on offense a lot of things that neck exercises. I don't know where it is i know i still have it somewhere but like even my family knew that that was just like my biggest struggle on something I was very uncomfortable with I looked into sono bello is where I went you guys probably seen commercials for you before it's just a laser lipo center which is the 1i think it's in woburn I'm from Massachusetts so i went there i had a consultation not really sure what to expect from it I kind of just went in willy nilly kind of just like on so it's like I'm i want to finally do this i want to just look into it and i went i really like the facility i love with the woman that I spoke with a textbook to jen and I I was just I was I was kind of sold on it like it's only because like it was an invasive it wasn't a big deal she explained to me perfectly she kinda showed me how it would look how my jaw line would look she told me the price she explained to me how it would be done it's very non-invasive it's gonna be quick blah blah and i was like i'm totally down like she's like you want to look at next week I'm like okay I was honestly I was just extremely throw because it's something I've been wanting to do for so long so I'm just kind of give you a rundown on what laser lipo is so the thing about laser lipo I didn't really know much about it i know i keep touching my hair I'm so sorry it's like it's in my in my face with the so essentially laser light ball is super non-invasive you're actually not asleep for the procedure I think I have to say haha ok uh-huh so it's super amazing you're actually a week for it so you go in. I had my pre-op of about a week before and I just checked me out filling prescriptions and i met my surgeon and we talked about everything that was going to be happening so i would be super comfortable because you are awake for is you're going to want to know what's going on they give you a prescription to be filled they give you an anti-anxiety so you can kind of relax I I was a little stressed about it and I'm alive and they give you pain medication and for a few weeks before that or maybe a week before and a lot afterwards you take a little dissolving tablets under your tongue that help with bruising so you bruise a lot less I hardly brews at all during this I was really excited about it because i bruise like a peach normally hardly brews at all it was called arnica so I was like these little dissolving min so you have to take three times a day so i used those before and after my surgery. I went on my surgery date the facility is extremely nice extremely professional i had amazing nurses who are so calming and helpful you just do your typical pre-surgery kind of things you don't need an IV or anything like that you're just you go into the procedure room I you know it's very if feel surgical but like you're awake and you don't have to have an IV or anything you have an IV but they don't use it unless it's like an emergency they just have it ready if they need to use it first they did two incisions under my ear and then one right under my chin the first thing that they do is numb you with that honestly that's the the worst part is just that pitch that was the worst part of the whole thing and it honestly you just felt like getting my cartilage pierced my ear just one two three and it starts to numb you they then feel you i know is i don't want it if you creeped out by graphic part that's just me discussing the process here it was super super easy and I'm a wicked squeamish person so it's not that bad so they just they fill this part up with liquid and you're laying down they put on what ever pandora station i wanted got some taylor swift action towing I was very calm a chat with you throughout the process to keep you chill because that's my biggest fear. I've learned that with my body I'm about uncomfortable and I'm and maintain my size now cuz i'm comfortable where I'm at and i used to be i used to be someone who gained weight really easily but I'm you know I'm in a good place with my body and I'm really good at maintaining my weight so it is gone and the thing about fat cells is once the fastest are gone fat cells don't just regrow so actually it is gone forever but as I just want to like clear that up about by sucking out zapping the fat cells and taking them out the fat cells do not come back to that area I will gain if I gain weight it will be in other places not here so i just wanted to clarify that at least that's what i was told and that's what I research the crap out of first it so that is exactly how it goes the process probably took a total of like 45 minutes um you could feel honestly it just felt good hydrating toothbrush underneath my chin it was just like buzz ding everywhere it was not painful honestly it kind of felt like a massage it was not painful hell it's very calming so after that I put on a really tight compression head wrap that I had to wear for 10 days what you guys saw all over my blogs and snapchat Instagram i'm sure i was mr. blows along 10 days where you just had this really tight compression band on your head you could not do much and i drained for maybe the first day and then after that I healed up really really nicely really quickly. I'm I feel completely comfortable and happy with where I'm at now and it's just something I've always wanted to do i I don't want to encourage other people to go and get this done because there's nothing wrong with you you're not broken there's nothing to be fixed this is just me myself my own personal journey and i'm doing this video purely for those who are interested in laser lipo and my sono bello experience and want to know more about it but i would have to say that facility was amazing and if if it's something that you always want to do you know i would recommend going there but genuinely really think about it first any big decision you make like this is like permanent and it's important and it's very very very very important that you do it for you and you've wanted for a long time I've been thinking about this most of my life it's one thing about me it's always bothered me I don't care about my thunder thighs my old stretch marks on my belly it's it's just this that's always bothered me and it's something I've always wanted to do and please know it took a lot a lot of guts for me to put this on youtube and I always kept it a secret and I didn't want to keep it a secret sounds like you know I'm honest on youtube I put my heart and soul and my life out

#cosmetic surgery France plastic surgery France liposuction France tummy tuck Surgery France Face Lift France Breast Augmentation France

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tomiyeee · 5 years

Text

finished the story quests for bl3 (but barely any of the side missions yet) and i got...Opinions(tm)

(sorry if this doesn’t cut on mobile! also if you want to hide spoilers i’m tagging all my bl3 posts as “bl3 spoilers” so ny’all can blacklist it)

in no particular order:

i honestly wanted to give gearbox some slack and try my best to like this game bc i know people had probably unfairly high expectations for this game given all the build up, but they really just kept letting me down in everything but the graphics

said this before but overall, the characters are all Quite lackluster

^^ tyreen and troy included. adding the word "bitch" to every sentence does not automatically make it funnier

that being said, i super love their backstory + relationship with typhon/nekofeyo-whatever

the character designs are equally boring. moxxi was the only one who got a real improvement imo. lilith and maya are okay. rhys...i dont think i have to explain. lia...i dislike her hair; the black felt like it balanced out her design better and the white streak was interesting and cool but full white just looks bad tbh. zer0 feels less sleek and more bulky which doesnt fit him much. tina lost her pretty color palette and cute outfit. where are all the bright pretty color palettes in general???? there are other colors besides brown and black???? use them?????

ending of pre-sequel: “you will need all the vault hunters you can get” me: “ooh does that mean all the vh’s from previous games are back? i can’t wait to see everyone meet each other! :D” bl3: only nine of them come back, 3 of them die, the rest are involved in maybe one mission at most

boss fights. super. boring. and tedious. i mean this could be partly because i was playing on ps4 which made it extra not fun but if the only reason the fight is difficult is because they have a lot of health...it's not fun or challenging. i want fights like handsome jack with interesting mechanics. i want fights like angel with emotional impact. i want fights like the pre-sequel final boss that i forgot the name of with variation that isnt just "now they have an attack that shines bright lights in ur eyes, covers the whole arena, and can knock you down in one hit im looking at you traunt and killavolt". tyreens fight was the only one that i somewhat enjoyed because of this. all the others were just like "ughhhh again?"

im really enjoying melee amara playstyle. taking out badass enemies in four hits is my jam. this is just my fallout 4 playthrough all over again babey heck yea

typhon just wanted to be a good dad!!! he called tyreen starlight which is adorable!!! he did the best he could and tyreen hated him for it!!! i don’t blame either of them for that tbh, it makes sense from both their perspectives. tyreen definitely should have been more understanding, but she’s a dick so :/ (not saying this is a writing flaw, just a character flaw)

hammerlock needs higher standards in men but i really appreciate the undeniably in-your-face "fuck you" to all gamer dudes

i really. hate. how little the player character seems to matter in the story. in pre-sequel the vh's all had unique dialogue AND npcs would respond, sometimes even with character-specific lines. even when it was the same across vh's, it still felt like the npcs were interacting and speaking directly to them. the player character felt like a character of their own, rather than just a vessel for the player to do quests and kill enemies with or an errand runner for the important characters. i thought that was the direction they were going in with bl3 too but this just feels like bl2 only worse. there’s a separation again between you and the story and it feels like you’re just watching things happen. now ur not just a silent protagonist, but instead your a speaking protagonist who gets completely ignored. whats the point of including unique dialogue if it's not even acknowledged beyond an "uh-huh, moving on"?

sometimes the logic just feels kinda dumb. the twins killed/disabled maya and lilith in a heartbeat, they can literally disintegrate the most powerful beings in the universe, but the vault hunters? absolutely not. they must fight them for 40 minutes and then die.

after the fight with troy, no one even touched tyreen. there's no way they could have thought "yup she's definitely dead, no need to shoot her in the head or anything just to make sure. we didn't do anything to even hurt her, we just assumed." turns out she's 100% alive and gets up to start the apocalypse. who'da thunk! i know they wanted the end to seem more dramatic but it just seems stupid that they could have stopped tyreen like 5 missions earlier had they even the slightest bit of common sense.

lilith was one of the biggest threats to tyreen and troy's whole plan. of course they should leave her alive and simply steal her powers. let's kill the monk siren instead.

i know they didn't include this to give all players a fair experience instead of favoring sirens, but it kinda sucks playing a siren character and it's just completely ignored outside of ur action skill. tyreen and troy are sapping siren powers left and right, but they choose to leave you with yours. when you enter the eridian place with typhon tannis starts glowing because it has "something to do with sirens". what about the one standing right next to her? this applies to bl2 as well...jack i would willingly charge ur vault key for u pls why do u take lilith instead :'(

oh yeah speaking of tannis! i LOVE that she got angels powers. for some reason it just makes me really happy. maybe it's bc i think it's sweet that part of angel survived. maybe it's because it makes for cool fanart. maybe it's just cool. idk. also like that we got a solid explanation of what angel's powers were (influence over technology). i always thought her having control over it in bl2 might've been cuz it was hyperion tech and she had access to it same as she had access to the satellite from bl1. it wasn't super clear since it seemed like she could also materialize things like the ammo during her fight.

that also reminds me: all the dramatic reveals in this game felt kinda badly done.

the very first one with zer0/katagawa. like the whole time i was walking around looking for him i was trying to think why he might've turned/something must have happened to him or rhys. everyone was saying it was undeniably zer0. i finally meet him and take one look at his bright ass maliwan armor and its like. really. you couldnt have made it anymore obvious that thats not zer0. and then his helmet gets knocked off and surprise! it's not him. i totally didnt already figure that out with one glance 10 seconds ago. (maybe even earlier when you got glimpses of him around the building but i always missed it cuz i was looking at the fish tanks n shit)

also the tannis reveal. she was speaking to me in the same way that only known siren characters could. weird unexplained things were happening and seemed to be related to tannis. i wonder if she's a siren? surprise! she's a siren.

tyreen and troy knew about the great vault through some unknown means. typhon was talking about having a son and a daughter who he told stories about the great vault. typhon calls tyreen his daughter a while later and lilith acts surprised like honey ur a little slow, i figured that out several lines ago.

basically i'm not saying they were so obvious that i knew from the beginning of the game; i only figured them out a little before they were outright stated. but it was enough that it kinda ruined the effect and the characters acting surprised only when it was blatantly spelled out for them just made it annoying.

i feel like most of this is pretty negative, but i don’t mean that i hate the game and was miserable playing it. it was honestly okay...like i said i wanted to like it, but gearbox hates me specifically and killed/ruined all my faves just to spite me sooo...*waves hand back and forth in a sort of “ehhh” gesture*. i think my opinion on bl games from most to least fav would be: tftbl, bltps, bl2, bl3, and bl1. so it’s not the worst, but deeefinitely not one of my faves. i mean jack’s not in it (or if he is he doesn’t have a big role) so it’s already at a huge disadvantage. the ending was ok, it was all dramatic n stuff and it kinda makes sense i guess, but it was just about as okay as the rest of the game really. i don’t hate it but it’s not great either yknow?

#equishit #bl3 spoilers

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