#this is old man yells at cloud shit i know but i am so fucking annoyed about this

[glorious-spoon]

i cannot express enough how much i fucking hate that i cannot plug a pair of headphones into any mobile device i own right now. one phone ago i could charge my phone and listen to music at the same time, but not now!

#this is old man yells at cloud shit i know but i am so fucking annoyed about this #this is a measurably worse use experience on every level than having the ability to just plug a pair of headphones in #i'm gonna get a fuckin flip phone and a desktop and pretend i still live in 2005

[alicuntisms]

EDWINA SHARMA HAD EVERY RIGHT TO BE PISSED OFF AT KATE DURING HER FAILED WEDDING. HER REACTION WAS NOT OUTLANDISH. WAS NOT CHILDISH. WAS NOT UNTRUE.

#I am TIRED of this #so fucking tired #tbd probably but like I really need to pouts liaten to the dead dove signs you know? #stop looking at shit that is clearly anti Edwina #while trying to pretend to be ‘better’ than what the show gave us #like fuck dude #*insert old man yells at cloud pic* #like homegirl just found out her sister/best friend/psuedo mother has been LYING to her for months #lying through omission is still lying #that the guy she's been courting for months has also been LYING to her #and she had to find out AT THE ALTAR IN FRONT OF THE FUCKING QUEEN OF ENGLAND WHO ORCHESTRATED THE WHOLE DAMN THING #and i'm sure she's still upset that kate kept the sheffiled scheme from her #and it's probably a double punch cause she thought that there weren't anymore secrets #only to find out this HUGE LIFE CHANGING SECRET #like edwina has spent her whole life listening to kate without question #and this relationship with anthony is her first time being independent the first time she's defied kate for what it is she thinks she wants #and to find out that it was all a lie that kate's objections could very well have had nothing to do with edwina and everything to do #with kate's feelings for anthony #that this one thing she thought she had gotten for herself - anthony who yelled at an earl in defense of her #who bought her a horse #who defied her sister at every turn to continue courting her #who agreed to continue forward with the wedding even after the sheffield disaster #like edwina clearly thought all of that meant something and i don't know why the fandom wants to ignore that #ugh i am so heated.

[ladykailitha]

Icarus Part 3

Hello! If you haven't seen it yet, I've got a set schedule for what story posts on what days now (as seen here) and this one as well as Well Met By Moonlight, Batshit Soulmates, and Never Hold Back Your Step... will still be posting just on rotation until I can finish some of my WIPs. (I may be stretching myself a bit thin having six going at the same time.)

In this one we have the concert. Eddie stumbles on something big and doesn't know how to deal with it all. And Uncle Wayne is bestest as always.

@emly03 @redfreckledwolf @itsall-taken @rozzieroos @mira-jadeamethyst

Part 1 Part 2

****

The day of the concert dawned abhorrently cheerful and bright. Not a cloud in the sky or any accidents that would prevent Eddie from having to take Dustin to this event. He wouldn’t deign to call it a concert. He had heard the album and seen their posters, but he refused to wander over to YouTube and watch videos of their concerts, interviews, their music videos.

He didn’t want to be even more disappointed that they were all flash and no substance then he was sure he was going to be for the next two hours.

Dustin rolled his eyes when Eddie parked in the huge concert parking lot.

“You’re just salty because I like them as much as I like Corroded Coffin,” he huffed getting out the car. “You have to concede that Abaddon’s vocals are killer.”

Eddie scoffed. “Do not. I haven’t heard them live. Way too many artists use autotune too much these days.”

“You sound like that meme,” he sneered, “‘Old Man Yells at Cloud’.”

Eddie swatted at him playfully. “Am not.” Dustin raised his eyebrow skeptically and he threw his arms in the air. “I’m not. I am a very serious musician, Dusty. The last thing metal needs is some band that can’t write or even play their own instruments. This isn’t pop.”

“You are such an asshole,” he said and turned toward the entrance, leaving Eddie to jog to catch up with him.

Eddie sighed and put his arm around Dustin’s shoulder. “I’m sorry. You’re right. I am being an asshole. I turned into the person I swore I would never be. Those shit for brains critics that hated Corroded Coffin when we first got on the scene. And that was wrong of me.”

Dustin sighed, too. “I just want you to like them too. They are so good if you’d just give them a chance.”

Eddie breathed out through his nose. “Yeah. I can at least give them that.”

They got to their seats and Eddie was a little impressed at Claudia Henderson’s Ticket Master foo. They weren’t front row, but they were only a couple of rows back so you could actually see the stage without having to strain their necks and smack dab in the center of the row.

Dustin would have the best time. And now it was up to Eddie not ruin it for the kid. Because yes, he was still a kid as far as Eddie was concerned. Twenty-one was so fucking young. That was how old most of the band was when they got their record deal, after all. They weren’t prepared for what came next, that’s for sure.

They got settled into their seats and Eddie watched as the rest of the crowd shuffled in. They were all about Dustin’s age with very few exceptions in either direction.

There seemed to be a color theme going on with the girls in the audience though. They were grouped in clumps of red, black, blue, or white. Which made sense if each band member stuck to a certain color palette.

Well he was about to find out, he supposed.

The lights dimmed. The crowd quieted down. The spotlight lit up the drumkit first. And Eddie knew that Gareth would be drooling over it. It was all black with black metal fittings. The kit seemed to collect light almost like a blackhole.

Then from the ceiling, a man dressed all in black being lowered onto the stage with large black raven wings on his back. He wore a black hooded coat over what, Eddie couldn’t tell. It was all black. The shirt, the pants, the boots. Even his mask was all black with even the eyes appearing closed. His feet touched the ground and the crowd went wild.

“Azrael!” the announcer called out.

Azrael settled on the throne and picked up black drum sticks.He counted time above his head and played a wicked solo to the adoring crowd’s absolute delight.

Dustin jumped up and down, screaming.

The spotlight moved to the right side of stage and the next band member descended from the ceiling. Large bat wings adorned his back and he was dressed in red leather fetish gear. Complete with tight leather pants that looked painted on and a matching harness highlighting his bare chest, peeking out from the red leather hooded coat.

His guitar was fucking gorgeous, though. A Warlock, much like Eddie’s own. It was custom painted red with black flames licking up the neck.

Eddie rolled his eyes, but it seemed he was the only one who thought the whole thing was over the top judging from the screams from the girls in the audience.

He didn’t just land gently on the stage like the drummer did, oh no. He fucking stomped onto the stage with a howl.

His wings, like the drummer’s ascended back into the rafters as the announcer shouted, “Asmodeus!”

And then Eddie really did roll his eyes. The demon of lust. Of course he was.

But seconds later Eddie’s jaw dropped to the floor as the man wailed on his guitar driving the crowd further into the frenzy.

Once he finished his solo the crowd quieted again and he could see why. Because just then, descending on gossamer wings that shimmered like starlight, was their bassist.

Everything about him was midnight blue and shimmering like the night. His mask was the face of the moon. He had his own hooded coat, but it was like the night sky, with some kind of crystal or gem sewn in to make the coat glimmer like stars.

His bass was something that Brian would have sold his own mother for and they were as thick as thieves. Eddie didn’t know much about basses considering his sweetheart was an electric guitar, but he could tell it wasn’t expensive but was perfect for his style. A style he showed off with gusto to the audience’s obvious delight.

“Astraeus!” the announcer cried.

Eddie decided that this one was his favorite. It played up the whole mysterious thing without the over the top flash of the guitarist or the sheer void of the drummer.

The audience hushed as the three members of the band began to play what was clearly the lead singer’s entrance music.

And holy fuck was Eddie screwed. This man was descending like a fucking angel sent from God, Jesus pose and all.

He was all in white with an opaque lace mask that had his mouth and chin cut out for him to sing. That surprised Eddie somewhat. He figured that the guy would have his whole face covered like everyone else in the band and that he could lip sync.

But nope. Apparently no one in this band did anything by halves.

The lead singer was wearing a sheer mesh crop top under the hooded floor length coats the whole band was wearing. Only his was white with a silk powder blue lining.

Eddie winced in sympathy. They must get boiling under the lights with those things on.

A few feet from the stage floor there was an explosive pop! And the feathers from his wings flew out into the crowd who was now screaming as if their life depended on the sheer volume coming out them. He looked over at Dustin who was no different.

When Eddie could see the stage again, this angel’s wings were now skeletal and gothic.

He landed in front of microphone whose stand had been decorated with a scarf in each of of the band members’ signature colors.

“Abbadon!” the announcer yelled for the final time.

And Eddie was in love. He couldn’t believe what he was seeing.

Dustin must have seen his expression because he was suddenly tugging on Eddie’s arm and screaming, “I told you!!”

“Indy!” Abbadon growled, grabbing the mic. “Thank you so much for having us! Let’s get this started.”

Then he began to sing and yeah, Eddie knew that the guy had charm, but this was a whole new level of epic. He was enthralled.

He didn’t utter a fucking word for several songs. But then it happened. Eddie couldn’t believe it. He hurried to snap a picture to make sure he wasn’t dreaming.

But there it was it in living color. He turned to Dustin to see if he saw it too, but the kid was too busy screaming and jumping up and down.

Eddie’s jaw fell.

That couldn’t be right, couldn’t it? That Dustin didn’t know? Eddie looked back up on stage and a lot of the puzzle pieces started slotting in place. His heart sank a little.

He shook his head to clear it of dark thoughts. He didn’t know the reason for any of this and leaping to conclusions would only get a shit ton of people hurt. Especially the boy next to him.

Eddie let the music wash over him. Let the magic of metal soothe his soul. Soon he was jumping up and down and headbanging with the rest of the crowd. Right hand flashing the devil’s horns, left hand out to steady himself he let himself enjoy the band’s stage presence.

****

To say that Eddie’s mind was fucking blown would be an understatement. He pestered Dustin all the way home with rapid fire questions. Where did the band tour last time? What was their schedule this time? Was it a six month tour or an eighteen month tour last time?

Dustin answered each question with growing excitement, thinking that Eddie had finally grown to love this band as much as he had.

Eddie on the other hand felt a growing sense of dread. Well... maybe dread was the wrong word. It was certainly a sinking feeling. One he really had to exam closely.

At least he could honestly say that he fell in love with the music before he found out his little secret.

And fuck what a secret it was.

He dropped Dustin off at home and drove out to the ranch that he had gifted to Wayne when Corroded Coffin first made it big. It was a beautiful, sprawled out home surrounded by acres of land and Eddie loved it even more than Wayne did.

Eddie stumbled through the door and was surprised to see Wayne drinking hot chocolate and reading a sports magazine in his expensive recliner. And yet, at the same time, not really that surprised.

“You do realize I’m no longer that fucked up kid with anger issues,” Eddie huffed on his way to the kitchen to grab a beer, “that were almost as bad as the troubles with the law, right?”

Wayne chuckled. “Maybe so. But you’re still my boy and I’ll keep worrying about you until the day I die.”

Eddie popped open the can of beer and sat down on the sofa. He leaned his head back on the back cushion with a heavy sigh.

Wayne raised an eyebrow. “What’s stewing around in that head of yours?”

Eddie slowly raised his head. “What would you do if you accidentally found out something about a friend that they were keeping from everyone they knew?”

Wayne set down his magazine. “That would depend on the secret. Is it hurting anyone?”

“Is what hurting anyone?” Eddie asked. “The secret?” Wayne nodded and Eddie frowned, really thinking about it.

“Maybe some feelings,” he said after a moment. “But it’s not dangerous like they committed a crime or anything. It’s not even about their sexuality.”

Wayne hummed thoughtfully. “And is it a big secret or a little one?”

Again Eddie was forced to think hard about what that meant. “I guess it depends on the person, but in my eyes it’s pretty big.”

The elder Munson nodded. “Do you feel hurt by this secret?”

“Yeah, yeah. I guess I do.” He bowed his head and let out a shuddering breath.

“Is there a reason you think he wouldn’t have told you?” Wayne pressed.

“Of course no–” Eddie stopped as his brain caught up to his mouth. “Shit.”

Wayne raised a questioning eyebrow.

“Yeah,” Eddie admitted shyly. “There’s a pretty good reason why he wouldn’t have told me. And now I feel like the shit friend.”

Wayne stood up and pulled Eddie into a big hug. “Maybe so, but you have the time to course correct and show this friend that you are worthy of his secret.”

Eddie nodded. “Thanks, Uncle Wayne,” he mumbled into Wayne’s neck.

“I’m just glad I could help.”

****

Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11

Tag List: @spectrum-spectre @estrellami-1 @zerokrox-blog @gregre369 ​@a-little-unsteddie @chaosgremlinmunson @messrs-weasley @danili666 @chaoticlovingdreamer @maya-custodios-dionach @val-from-lawrence @goodolefashionedloverboi @i-must-potato @carlyv @wonderland-girl143-blog @justforthedead89 @vecnuthy @irregular-child @yikes-a-bee @bookbinderbitch @bookworm0690 @anne-bennett-cosplayer @awkwardgravity1 @littlewildflowerkitten @genderless-spoon @cinnamon-mushroomabomination @dragonmama76 @scheodingers-muppet @ellietheasexylibrarian @thedragonsaunt @useless-nb-bisexual @disrespectedgoatman @eyehartart @dawners @y4r3luv @cryptid-system @thespaceantwhowrites @tinyplanet95

#my writing #stranger things #steddie #ladykailtiha writes #rockstar steve harrington #rockstar eddie munson #the fallen

[blueberryarchive]

Peaches and Cream. (Pt.1)

In which Jungkook, a one-star Michelin chef, gets the information: a new blogger, you, gave him a bad review of his restaurant, and he gets obsessed with the things you wrote; and in the process, with you. Wanting to show you he's a good chef, he invites you to a good meal cooked by him.

—⁠☆Pairing: Bi Chef!Jungkook & Blogger!Reader

—⁠☆Genre: au, enemies to lovers.

—⁠☆Word Count: 4.3k

—⁠☆Warnings: filthy mouth Jungkook, like so much for no reason. smut, two doms trying to dom each other, stalking, dub-con, masturbation, prejudice/bigotry, depictions of queerness and family. (these are the warnings for the whole two-part series)

—⁠☆a/n: this the first part of a 2 part ff, i hope you gals can help me get better at writing in english since it's not my first language. as always thank you for reading.

The morning painted the windows of his office with a slight dew, the clouds announced how gray that Friday would be. Every time it rained it wasn't busy in the restaurant, but Jungkook appreciated the sweet aroma the concrete emanated in the alleys. 

The smell of the city of rotting garbage and asphalt goes to give way to childhood memories of him. Running home, jumping through long puddles, the taste of freshly cooked rice. Mild and fluffy in the mouth. 

Jungkook dropped his cigarette halfway to the ground as a van turned the corner. Grocery shopping was one of the favorite parts of his job. Maybe the best. At 4 in the morning, he would open the back doors of his restaurant, clean and file his knives, which he kept wrapped in cotton cloth that his grandmother sewed for him with his initials. In a rather old mocha pot, he used to put three spoons of freshly ground coffee and water and stayed waiting for the men from the market, who came to bring him the freshest products for that day's dishes. Cup of coffee in hand and a lot to say.

He loved to touch, press, smell, taste and pinch the vegetables; pick them up on the light and complain that the salmon was from yesterday and the courgettes were too big. Loved to bargain with Tomas the price of trivial things. 

"Tom, don't be a bitch. I'll have to throw away half of these tomatoes before four o'clock." 

"Jung-" Tomas, a Hispanic man with the face of that painting from Alexandre Cabanel, inhaled sharply, placing two fingers on the bridge of his nose. He didn't know what Tomas was saying in Spanish, but Jungkook knew, somehow, that it involved fucking his mother. 

"You take the two boxes and the Montserrat." Tomas repeated.

"Tom, what am I going to do with shit as acid as Montserrat tomatoes. Green ones." Jungkook yelled, almost spitting out his coffee, taking a healthy tomato in his hand. 

"Shove it up your ass." Tomas shrugged casually. Jungkook hit him on the shoulder, and both laughed. 

"Okay, give me both. Maybe Vic will think of making something with your fucking tomatoes..." the imaginary disgust on his palate at the thought of a Montserrat tomato sauce or a salad. Worse: fried. 

Tomas knew that silence and the lost look of Jungkook's idiot fuckface. "You can't change your mind anymore, chef. I already had my boys put the boxes down." 

"I know. I'm just regretting letting you win." 

Tomas clicked his tongue, revealing a perfect smile to the ched. "Sometimes you have to let it go, chef." 

"Go away, motherfucker." Jungkook smiled, still looking at the boxes of green tomatoes. 

"Bye, Chef." 

"Mmm," Jungkook took the last sip of his coffee as the truck pulled away. Now it was time to lift the boxes. That kept Jungkook's arms in good shape. He rolled up his baggy shirt to reveal his colorful tattooed arm. Smoothly tying his wavy hair in a low ponytail. With one arm, he lifted the sack of rice to the kitchen island, then the oysters, then the crate of vegetables. 

With precision and finesse, he grasped the knife with the curved edge from his collection and began to peel each vegetable. Everything was with the accuracy of a surgeon. 

If lifting sacks was his daily exercise, cutting and peeling the preparatives was his meditation. With so much attentiveness to his peeling, he almost cut himself when he heard his cell phone vibrate. He growled and cursed in a breath. He hated getting called on the phone. If it weren't for his mom, he would have thrown away that piece of plastic years ago. 

Vic, the screen said, the face of a curly-haired man in a perfect afro, teeth so perfect as he smiled into the camera. Jungkook took that photo about a year ago, just outside his favorite café. He had months without buying a cup of coffee there.

With his knuckles, he opened the call. "I thought you were coming over to help me with the oysters, Vic," he demanded with a frown concentrating on peeling the shiitake mushrooms until soft and white. 

Vic didn't answer until after a lengthy silence. Pretty long, considering he had just finished peeling a couple of mushrooms. Jungkook looked at his cell phone. "Victor?" 

"Here I am," he replied reluctantly. 

"Why the hell are you calling me if you aren't going to talk? I'm busy." 

"I thought, when I met you, that you cuss so much and act like a piece of shit because you wanted to be like Gordon Ramsay or something." 

"What's the point, Vic? The oysters are still here unopened, and Helena doesn't come in until six, and I-" 

"You're busy." They both spoke in unison. That made Jungkook feel a sting in his throat, a slight tickle. 

"Are you going to come, yes or no?" 

"My God, Jeon, just for a moment, stop thinking about the damn oysters and pay attention to me." 

"I do, Victor, and you still don't answer my damn question. Do I have to pick up a fucking bum off the streets to do your job?" 

"Why did you come to my house on Tuesday?" Jungkook stopped the fluid movements of the knife, his eyes on the phone. 

"You wrote me to go," the chef replied.

"Yes, but for you to pick up your things." 

"I did that." Jungkook snorted, finishing with the mushrooms and starting with the carrots. 

"Yeah, after fucking me and telling me you loved me... like twice in the process." Vic sounded hurt. Jungkook hated it when he did that because he knew how dramatic Vic could be. 

"And after that, you kept treating me as your sous-chef the next day."

"You are my sous-chef, Victor." He interrupted, leaning on the metal table.

"Yeah, but I'm talking like outside of work."

"Yes, because you're still my sous-chef, Victor. I don't get-"

"Do you do this to Marianne? Or Helena, Joseph, or every waiter with an innocent little face when you tell them they're your favorite." 

"Vic," warned the chef. 

"Or maybe you were in a year-long relationship with your maitre d' so he wouldn't fire you. No, that was me. If it weren't for me, that place wouldn't have the popularity it has" 

"Vic," Jungkook growled, feeling the blood rush to his head. 

"You are a pest to your restaurant, Jeon Jungkook." 

That was it. Jungkook dropped the knife on the table and gripped the device as close to his mouth, thin lips brushing the screen. 

"Victor, if you hadn't opened your legs to me, you wouldn't even have the chance to lick the leftovers from my alley." 

"Bullshit, if I'm the whore, what makes you?. Who did you have to fuck for your place, chef?" 

"Everyone." Jungkook laughed sarcastically, "And yet, I'm the one who has a fucking Michelin star under my name and my sweat... what have you done with the fucks on your record?" 

Victor was silent. "You are a prick." 

"Okay" Jungkook didn't understand where this was going, but it was almost six in the morning, and he had to start removing the skin from the salmon. His walking around the station didn't keep him calm, nor it was productive. 

"I don't know why I let you into my house." 

"You were alone, just like I felt that day too. And you also act like it doesn't turn you on when I drunk fuck you." Jungkook waited for an answer, but there was nothing. "Vic?" Silence. When he saw the screen of his cell phone, there was no longer the photo of Victor or the creaking of the telephone line. "Vic, the oysters" He didn't even know why he was trying, he closed his eyes and put the cell phone in his pocket. 

The door opened suddenly, startling Jeon. It was Helena, a curvy thirty-something girl taking a last puff from her vape. With a rush, she put her hair in a high ponytail. 

Jungkook tried to act as naturally as possible. 

"Good morning, chef." Helena hastened to say, putting on her apron. 

"Mm," he muttered as he followed his work, musing among the damn green tomatoes that he had no idea what Vic asked them for.

A long time passed while both, Jungkook and Helena, worked at their stations. 

"Chef," Helena broke the silence by pressing her lips together. 

"Yeah?" 

"I'm trying to make a list for my future...you know I want to open my place one day." 

"Everyone wants their own little place," Jungkook interrupted, opening the oysters with swift movements. 

"Yes, yes. But I really don't like getting fucked in the ass, and it's not that there are a lot of women in this business, much less lesbians." She burst. Jungkook grinned against his own will when she wasn't looking. 

"Fuck you, Helena. Cut the mangoes for the sauce." Jungkook hissed, and set the oysters aside as Helena laughed at him. "I'm going to the market for more onions and tell Joseph to finish the oysters by himself" 

"Yes, Chef." voiced Helena with a grand smile.

Jungkook left the station, the cold air soothing the remains of his anger. Without thinking much, he reached into his pocket taking out a cigarette.

He started walking through the streets of New York. Vic had worn him out, and his 14-hour shift hadn't started.

The steam rising from meats, the incessant sound of vegetables being cut, three different sauces being stirred. Jungkook's kitchen was alive, it was seven at night and this was the time when his guests arrived like flies on the cake. Men in Italian brand suits and their girlfriends of the week, older women with picky palates, fanatics, high-class tourists…you name it, you find it.

Normally, Jungkook would be in the front. Preparing each dish, tasting each sauce, checking each cut, and scrutinizing that each dish looks like something he is proud of.

But here he was, in the dark alley behind his restaurant as he called Vic over and over on the phone, the cigarette in his hand melting with the wind and light drizzle. His hair and his white suit getting wet as he left the umpteenth voice note for Vic.

"Victor, for God's sake, I have the restaurant full tonight. It's a fucking Friday, why the fuck aren't you here?" he breathed sharply, the tension had his shoulders tense and the veins in his arms looked like they were going to explode.

The messages did not reach him, the wretch had turned off the phone.

"Shit," he muttered as he thumped into the kitchen that blazed with the heat of thirty pots on the stove. What happened after going through the door seemed…uncanny. All of his cooks looked at him at the same time, fleetingly to return to their tasks again.

They knew something that Jungkook didn't.

He sighed deeply before tying his hair into a half-bun. He rolled up his sleeves and went to his station, reading the orders aloud.

"One duck, two mussels, one Bok Choy" Jungkook ordered.

"Yes, chef," the others said in unison.

Food was piling up around Jungkook, sauces, and stir-fried vegetables. With a spoon he tasted the first and nodded slightly, then the shiitake. With agility he grabbed an empty plate and began to order each detail: first, the sauce spread like a brush, the green color so bright; then the piece of meat, glistening with juice, three drops of yellow radish sauce, a delicate yellow flower for the final touch.

"Service!" Jungkook pushed the plate away towards the waitress on the other side of his table.

"Fuck," Joseph muttered in the kitchen.

"Stop being an imbecile and attend your damn station," Charlie, the poissonier, snarled, hurling a frying pan into the sink with a crash.

"Where are my mussels?" Jungkook was sweating, his eye trembled slightly.

"Joseph just screwed them up, I have to do them again"

"And what are you doing wasting time talking?" Jeon interrupted on the verge of screaming. The others tensed, again that look from everyone.

"Sorry, Chef" said Joseph and Charlie.

"Hurry up, damn." Jungkook continued with his task of plating each meal, tasting over and over again everything that was within his reach.

"Where is my sauce?" he growled when his hand reached to his right, and Helena nor the sauce wasn't there. 

"In a minute, sir." 

"I don't have a minute."

Helena took the pan and stirred while going to the prep station. Jungkook took a small spoon and tasted it.

"More salt," he said, furrowing his eyebrows.

Helena seemed confused. "More, Chef?"

"Don't make me repeat myself, dear." 

"Yes, chef." Helena went back and added more salt, a few seconds later, he was pouring the sauce into the mushrooms. 

"Service!" the waiter took the plate, he started to feel a pain in his lower back and was exhausted. "Helena," he called, continuing his job. 

"Chef."

"Call Vic, tell him that if he isn't here in twenty minutes, I'll fire him."

There was no 'yes, chef', no answer at all. Actually, it was a little quieter in the kitchen. He didn't look back. "I said-"

"I don't think you want that, chef." This time, he turned around, and there it was: the look.

"When I say something, misses Gallo, I mean it" he felt more intense than usual if, that's even possible. Helena felt like she just saw a ghost. Jungkook knew she joked around with him, but she knew her time and place.

"Vic it's not coming back, sir." The youngest, Joseph, tilts his head down in fear. 

"Why is that?"

"God, how I abhor when things like these happen." The elegant man entered the kitchen with his sleek blonde hair and a black suit, calico eyes, and the most pretentious-looking glasses you could find. It was Jimin Park, his maitre d'. 

Jimin was the one who gave the classiness Jungkook lacked when it came to treating his clientele. He greeted and took care of everyone like they were his friends. 

"She's here." 

"Who?" Jungkook couldn't be more out. Jimin gave him his phone, and on the screen was a girl eating a plate exactly like the one he made minutes ago. Wait, that was his restaurant. 

"Oh my God, she's actually here. I didn't know Vic was such a petty bitch." Helena laughed while watching the live stream. Jungkook turned off the screen. 

"What the fuck is going on?"

"Vic tweeted to her to come here because his ex fired him for being a good cook, something like that." Jimin shrugged. Jungkook felt his chest contract, he started biting the ring on his lower lip.

"Who is she?" 

"She's a mukbanger but like a mean one, she's an icon," Joseph said smiling. 

"She's like the new wave of food criticism." Jimin took his phone and put it in his pocket. "Our world doesn't care anymore about magazines or what the paper says."

A waitress came bursting from the door.

"Mr. Park, the girl went away." 

"Am I supposed to be scared because she's going to tweet about some overcooked lamb?" he asked the waitress who didn't know what to say. 

"She's gone?" Jimin raised his glasses taking a deep sigh, he looked at Jungkook and lightly smiled. "You're fucked, Jeon." 

"Fuck you, Park. No, I'm not" he was offended, how could he say that in front of his group?

Jungkook took Jimin by his forearm and took him to his office. The others were left watching through the little window looking for the infamous mukbanger.

For a second, Jungkook was going to look back and ask his sous chef to take care of the kitchen. But he didn't have a fucking sous-chef. 

This couldn't be possible, he had a Michelin star because of his discipline, the way he cooked, his crew, and the stories he told through the food. He had the perfect ambiance, the most amazing maitre d' in New York, and the perfect culinary experience. He worked his ass off for this.

He was above the trolly reviews from Yelp, the people who thought he just did something to fill stomachs. But why did he feel this was not the same? Why did she leave? He made sure everything was perfect. Everything. 

"Hey!" Jimin snapped his fingers in Jungkook's face. For a moment, he put his palm on Jungkook's forehead. 

"Jesus, you're burning" he saw the expression on his chef, with his eyebrow rose, the pierced end moving slightly. Lost in thought. 

"Do you really think this is going to ruin me?"

Jimin's heart felt heavy, he denied occupying his hands with some papers. 

"I don't know, Kook. Perhaps she went away because she didn't find anything bad to say, or maybe she had to go and that's it. You know how those people are."

Jungkook nodded, none of them were sure that Jimin said the truth. But it had to do for now. 

"Now go, the kitchen will be a mess without you."

It's already a mess.

Jungkook nodded again, hands behind his back. He needed to know who you were. As soon as possible.

Jungkook doesn't remember the last time he sat on the couch in his apartment, his legs were covered with two sheets and he had a black hoodie covering his chest and lanky hair. He doesn't remember how strange morning TV was: everyone was wearing makeup and smiling as they talked about how climate change was inundating homes in India. It couldn't be more bizarre. Maybe it was the fever that had him glued to the screen in front of him or the ache in his tired muscles. 

The icing on the cake, he was sick. 

The night of the influencer's drama, Jungkook came to his room. His hair was wet from the rain that fell that night and his body soaked. His body sank into the sheets with his uniform, the fever began to make him have strange dreams where orders came but never came out. He woke up around four in the morning the next day and called Jimin, his voice raspy as he changed out of his uniform.

"Call Jin, tell him to cover me this week."

"Okay," Jimin replied with a breath.

"Okay? No questions?"

"No, I already knew you were going to get sick." Jungkook pursed his lips into a small smile, eyes closed from exhaustion.

"As soon as the fever stops, you won't need Jin. I promise."

"As much as I want that to be true, I don't want you in the restaurant until you're completely well. It's enough for the restaurant that a cute girl says absurd things about your food and then we get rumors about you cooking with your boogers" Jimin blurted out.

"Absurd?" Jungkook looked for some boxers and changed, throwing his body on the living room furniture. "What did she write?"

"Um...," Jimin put the chef on hold as he thought of an honest but not unseemly way to tell him the review. "Well, she said she was sick of seeing the same wave of elite restaurants for the decadent new yorker elite, the same exotic cuts of a bird, and the environment with walls as white as a psychiatric hospital. She said that I looked like a nurse going from table to table to give them their pills in porcelain saucers to the long-lived of New York," Jimin laughed. "That was funny...it's like the truth-"

"And about me?" Jungkook felt the fever consuming his body, a headache approaching like a shadow behind his neck.

"Well, she said the food was tasteless and you screwed up the only thing she was looking forward to"

"The mushrooms?"

"How did you know?" 

"Of course, it was the mushrooms," Jeon muttered, squeezing his eyes shut, cursing Vic with the wrath of a thousand seas, wanting him to be engulfed and convulsing for all eternity looking for oxygen. 

"The sauce was salty to the point that she wanted to throw up, she said."

"The sauce was salty," he repeated and then smiled so as not to destroy the room in his sickly state.

He doesn't remember much of what he did those three days that had passed. Jimin would stop by his apartment to bring dinner and pick up the shirts from the floor. He complained about Jin for half an hour with a glass of wine in hand, until Jimin realized that Jungkook couldn't even stay focused.

"Hey, wake up." Jimin patted his cheeks and Jungkook didn't even flinch.

"Vic has been there? In the restaurant, I mean," Jungkook grabbed the wine from Jimin's hand, drinking it all in one gulp.

"No, he had a friend go get his things the next day."

"Who, the youtube whore?"

"No," Jimin chuckled. They both saw each other and laughed under their breaths.

"It was a redhead."

"Oh, you mean Chris."

"Yeah," Jimin answered looking at his friend with tipsy eyes. "When was the last time you got laid?"

Jungkook began to fidget around, looking for something to occupy his hands with.

"It can't be that Victor-" Jimin's mouth tightened. "Of course," he chuckled, a light rose painting his cheeks.

"What the hell do you know, Park?"

"I would have known."

"Are you spying on me through the cameras you have in my bathroom to see if I jerk off?" His hoarse voice was screeching, and Jimin couldn't take his anger seriously.

"There's a certain je ne sais quoi to it when you fuck, like you stop yelling so much and actually do your job."

"I do my job."

"But it would be better if you didn't scream all the time like a fucking maniac."

"Mmm," tiredness wouldn't let him continue answering. He had taken a pill for the flu but he didn't know it was going to hit him so fast. Jimin noticed.

"Well, I'll let you rest. I brought you a couple of plums and oranges from the market."

"Tell Jin I say hi in the morning," Jungkook mumbled.

Jimin patted him on the shoulder and left Jungkook's phone on the table with your Instagram open. "Stop watching morning TV, your brain will melt."

Jungkook didn't touch the phone for a long while thinking about the words that were repeating like a broken record: "tasteless" and "elite for the elite"...Jungkook didn't even come from a wealthy family. It was foolish.

He lazily swiped his way down through your profile, looking at the thumbnails of your photos where you smiled like nothing was wrong. 

You liked showing cleavage, he realized. In addition to being a liar, you liked the attention. There was one where you were in a jacuzzi with a glass of champagne and another where you were on the French shores.

Besides the fact that you liked the attention, it was for a reason. The way your lips curved into a smile as if your breasts weren't pinched in that bikini two sizes too small. 

What kind of reporter were you?

Without realizing it, Jungkook was lying on his bed looking at your photos while eating a plum. He didn't know if it was the sweetness of the ripe fruit or the fever, but he felt strange. His body felt like it was floating between the satin of his bed. 

Another brush up to your profile: more food, more cats, travel, you in a bikini. One, in particular, caused the lower half of him to brush against the sheets. It wasn't that different from the others, but for some reason this time you weren't smiling. You looked at the camera with a certain judging that made Jungkook's throat boil.

His fingers were covered in prune juice, the wrinkled seed clenched between his teeth. What he was going to do wasn't one of his most dignified moments, but the meds made him delirious, not fucking someone besides Vic made him even sicker. 

His sticky fingers trailed from his navel to the edge of his boxers. When he felt the wetness of his slimy fingers on his tip he clamped the seed harder into his teeth, growling in loathing.

Your face caused his chest to swell with anger and his dick to rise at the slightest touch of his tattooed hand. Thinking of your tongue tasting his cock on a plate, no garnish, no cutlery. He wanted you to swallow it and shed tears on your cheeks.

A shriek. He tossed the phone onto the bed and covered his embarrassed face with his forearm. His hand trembled under his Calvin boxers, saliva pooling in his mouth as he couldn't swallow. 

His tongue flicked over the seed in his mouth, and like a flash, the image of him covering your clit with his spit flashed by. He growled like a fleeing animal as his orgasm made him arch his back. He removed the seed from his mouth.

"Fuck," he mumbled when he saw the stain on his pants. Air rushed out of his nose for the first time all day. He closed his eyes in pure bliss. Two minutes later, he wrinkled his nose and repeated: "Fuck," this time rolling his eyes, angry with himself for what he was going to do. He turned on his cell phone screen and opened the dm of your profile.

jkookcooks: So what kind of reviews do you do when you leave mid-meal? You didn't even try dessert. If you really want to do something worthwhile and not your unnecessary sensationalism, maybe you should come try something made by me.

He almost threw the cell phone when he hit send. Feeling the cold of his cum in his pants and the words he send to make him cringe.

When he got up to clean himself up, he heard his cell phone vibrate almost immediately. 

Didn't you have things to do on a Friday night?

CherryCloud: Just say the day, chef.

A smile left Jungkook's lips. He'd love to grab your face and make you eat the best meal you ever had, to see if you'll shut up that way... He'd have to plan the menu for the night.

Why did he feel a sudden fear? He saw the photo again: your judgy eyes, hugging your knees.

#jk #bts #bts x reader #bts imagines #bts jungkook #jungkook smut #jungkook fanfic #jimin bts #jin bts #jk x reader

[dramarising-replacement]

General Old-Timey Grumbles

I truly wish from the bottom of my heart that there was an alternative version of FR purely focused on breeding, decorating, and geneing dragons. I've been here for a Very Long Time and I still hate the Coli, I still hate grinding for mats, and I still consider the dollar-to-gem ratio an affront to god. (WHY ARE GENES SO OBSCENELY EXPENSIVE. IT'S 2023 AND I HAVE TO BUDGET FOR A BAKERY CUPCAKE, A DRAGON GENE IS NOT WORTH MORE THAN AN ITEM I PHYSICALLY GET TO EAT.) I wish there was a way to get everything solely from playing the rewarding part of the game: the part with the dragons. I have some profitable breeding pairs so I make an ok living, but compared to anyone who can even halfway doodle something or who have bottomless pockets to dump money into the game? I don't feel a sense of accomplishment by achieving my goals because by the time I finally get there, I'm just glad it's over... until I want to do something else. It transcends reasonable challenge to become demoralizing. I literally just want to gene up gen1s, breed dragons, sell dragons, and dress them up. That's the appeal for me. I like familiars, but bonding with them takes forever. I like dressing up dragons, but grinding to get stuff every seasonal event is such a pain in the arse. I think Baldwin and Swipp and so on are nice ideas as site features, but the sheer volume of item sink required to participate in them makes it not even worth it to try. And while I have all the retired items I could want (wanna know why Light Sprites are so rare? We didn't know they'd be permanently retiring at the end of the first Festival so no one bothered to hoard them! I'm fucking old!,) I feel for everyone that is never, ever going to be able to access any of it because of how unattainable things have become. I know this is an unpopular opinion, but especially for wearables, having them Gone Forever? It just sucks. It just sucks, you guys. It's not fun. Flight Rising is a game full of beautiful art that makes you jump through hoops like a collie at an agility trial doing meaningless busywork to get to the part where you get to play with your cool dragons. And I know most people enjoy a lot of those features, but I'm old. I'm tired. I mean I'm literally getting old and my fucking joints resent sitting at the PC and/or swiping shit on the phone at length. I have a life. I feel the response might be to move on, but 1) what other petsites even exist in 2023? I'm still on Neopets too, and Subeta is cool, but otherwise?? and 2) no. I like my stupid sparkledragons, I don't want to leave them behind! But this is the drama blog and I have complaints, so here I am. Please insert the "old man yells at cloud" image here, because it's me.

#Economy #Coliseum #Baldwin #Rant #Flight Rising #Cursing #Festival #Genes #Long post #Petty

[littledoggy-girlcollar]

a counterargument: colin bullied nate pretty relentlessly, including physically. nate was openly scared of colin in the for the children ep. not that that makes what said okay, but he also apologized to colin afterwards.

you know i did think about this when writing the post so here's my thoughts on that:

you're right, colin did bully nate in season one, but unless i totally misread shit (which, possible, i did watch a lot of it fairly late at night and watched the other part of it while writing an essay), the bullying was explicitly ring-led by jamie, and was stopped pretty much entirely by roy yelling at them in the club. as far as i remember, there was nothing specific that colin did that jamie and isaac didn't, and while i also don't remember a full apology to nate, it also seemed like they all got along fairly well afterward, especially after nate's promotion to assistant coach.

and then the Headspace episode happened. i had thoughts abt what i was going to say and then i went "hey lemme pull up the episode to make sure i have that right" and i forgot those thoughts and now i have new ones and they're way more thesis-y than i thought they'd be so here we go!

nate is a bit of a dick to colin during practice, following some ribbing of nate's new nickname of the "wonder kid," coming from him mispronouncing "wunderkind/wonderkind" (as far as i can tell these are the same word? just different spelling?). dani, jamie, and colin all make essentially the same joke, but colin is the only one that nate gets mad at. could this possibly just be because of the lingering resentment from the bullying last season? sure. but colin actually goes to nate's office to figure out what he did wrong and if there's something else he should be doing, and nate literally tells him he did it because dani and jamie have more talent and recognition than he does (incredibly paraphrased). my rant about how colin could end up being THE most inspiring member of the team if the show/the character decides to go that way will be saved for another post, but in essence, nate explicitly tells both colin and us as the viewer that he picked on colin because he doesn't think he has that much power to retaliate, and nate's position as assistant coach gives him a level of authority over colin as well.

crazy. almost like a role reversal over here or something.

anyways, beard calls nate on his shit, nate apologizes to colin in front of the team, the apology is accepted. in all, it was kind of a one-off thing that was resolved fairly easily, and i am realizing that my view of that specific instance may have been clouded by the rest of the episode, but there is one more point i want to hit on before we get to that part, which is that: colin is a gay man in a sport with (from what i've heard) no visibly out queer men, and nate had no way of knowing this, but that probably made his comment cut deeper than he even intended. i know in season three colin says he doesn't want to be some big statement or representation or whatever, and i think that's totally fair and if the show wants to stick with that i think that's chill, but i do still think telling a closeted gay man that "you aren't special, you don't inspire anyone, shut up and do the work" would have a biiiiit of a mental impact beyond just the visible hurt we see from colin as he leaves. again, this bit isn't necessarily on nate since he didn't know and may not have factored it in even if he did, but to me it's just kind of another drop in the bucket of "wow this man is just saying anything now cause he's got an outsourced sense of superiority."

and that's actually where my main problem comes from. because after the apology the team gifts nate a jersey with "wonder kid" on it. and they are happy about it, and they think it's cool, and they give the credit to will (the kitman, you know, nate's old job) for coming up with it, and will says "it's a pretty awesome nickname." and then nate sees one fucking negative meme on twitter, in a flood of literally hundreds of positive ones, plus headlines and fucking podcasts praising him to high heaven, and nate goes "clearly will was trying to embarrass me, guess i better go physically threaten him so he never does that again."

because he's an insecure prick that doesn't actually believe in himself or have self-confidence. he's done a bit of growing, sure, and he can stand up for himself and voice his opinions a bit better now, but despite his stupid fucking posturing and spitting in the mirror (cause its tough? a metaphor for him hating himself? whatever it's fucking stupid) he gets all of his confidence from other people. he hasn't internalized it yet. he feels good when ted praises his ideas, he gets overly insecure when roy does literally anything, including give the proper credit to nate, feels lighter than air and higher than heaven (i don't usually invoke holy shit this much the show must be rubbing off on me in terms of metaphors) when everyone is praising his name, and it can all be ruined by one comment from his father and the same picture of his face on the internet only this time it's saying shit instead of giving him glory. so he's hearing all of this praise from pretty much all corners, and he feels good about it, but he can't hold onto it. he can't internalize it. so when he sees a sliver of criticism, it all goes out the window, and he doesn't want that! that makes him feel bad! so he has to get rid of that, too, and the easiest way to get rid of it is to turn it around on someone else. someone with less power who won't fuck you up and who doesn't visibly have enough support to come back at you (because while i love colin, we really don't see him shine on his own that much. and neither does nate). and sure whatever nate's dad is a jerk to him and childhood issues shut the fuck up that's a grown man with an actively growing support system. which he throws under the bus like five seconds later by the way.

anyways. my point here is really that the episode is kind of a perfect summary of nate's character at this point in the narrative. he's abusing his power out of some weird sense of superiority one good win got him, he's got enough humanity to realize (re: be forced to realize by a large man with a beard and ability to disappear from offices) when he's fucked up no actually hold on. he literally only apologizes cause coach beard confronts him on it and is expecting it. he wouldn't have done this otherwise and we know it because look at how he's treated will literally since he got there. ok sorry for the detour that hit me literally as i was writing and i don't have the energy to go back up and revise to fit that in. so: abusing power, will apologize when made to by those he still views as having more power than him, externalizes all of his self-concept, positive and negative, and continues to take out all negativity on anyone he views as having less power. WHICH AGAIN FUCKING SUCKS SINCE THAT LITERALLY USED TO BE HIM IT'S LITERALLY "WELL I WENT THROUGH X SO YOU SHOULDN'T GET Y" BEHAVIOR FUCK OFF. GOD. okay i need to end this before i get real fucked up about it ok closing statement.

yes, colin bullied nate in season one. yes, nate ostensibly apologized to colin and colin accepted. no, the reason this grinds my gears isn't necessarily the colin thing specifically, but the situation is kind of a microcosm of everything that's going on in the world of nate, and is therefore condensed, and therefore saturated, so it sucks more ass. yes, i understand that pretty much everything i've laid out is why nate is such a well written character, but that doesn't make him a less shitty person. i'm sure i had more things to say and forgot them so if you wanna ask questions shoot.

#ted lasso #colin ted lasso #nate ted lasso #colin hughes #nathan shelley #anons #sorry this got. long. again did not expect to be posting about ted lasso literally ever but the end of the semester is making me crazy. #shoutout to the footballs. or smth. #character analysis. kinda.

[sillygoofyqueer]

The Untamed review: episode six!!!!!!

Literally have to skip the intro at this point

The Cloud Recesses looks so peaceful hehe

The goofy music, what the hell is going on

Nie Huaisang, you look so sketchy what the hell

"I brought peanuts!! ☺️" You are such a guy, Huaisang.

HE JUST GOT SNATCHED

Oh, it's fine, they're just drinking lmao

I love that even Jiang Cheng is getting involved

It also answers my question of who bought the alcohol

Fuck me, Huaisang is absolutely pissseeeddd

"I'll be fine, as long as I have wine" Wei Wuxian, you have a problem.

"I don't know how the Lan Clan puts up with you" "Hey, I'm adorable 🤭" Wei Wuxian, you little geek. Yes you are.

Don't insult Cheng's standards hahahaha

HHAHAHA THEY'RE SO PISSED

LITERALLY CALLING OUT HIS STANDARDS

AAAAAAHHHHH WANGJI

Eyo, the fuck was that position?!?!????

You know, I was wondering who would notice their literal yelling

Hahahaha, Wei Wuxian adjusting his hair and acting so casual for his boyfriend

Wangji just wants to be involved :(

They're all super none suspicious at all lmaooo

WUXIAN, WILL YOU STOP OFFERING HIM ALCOHOL???

"join us.." bro might as well have said 'kiss me now' with the pouty tone and the tug of the sleeve

I like how Wangji didn't pull back, just gay glared

"go to the punishment chamber" "what chamber??"

HUAISANG AND CHENG JUST FUCKING PASSING OUT HAHAHA

"too drunk to walk" you just want to flirt with Wangji for longer, you whore

HE'S TRYING TO STOP THEM FROM GETTING UP, THE LITTLE WAVES OF 'stay down stay down!!!'

NO WAY ARE THEY VOMITING

What's that talisman???

BRO NO WAY

I'd be furious

He looks so proud of himself hahahahaha

Why's he closing the doors??? Gay. Suspicious.

Don't you dare, WUXIAN, YOU MONSTER

Peer pressure to the extreme 😔

Wuxian looks so excited

I love how Wangji just fucking dies

Wuxian's look of absolute shock and concern

"go back to your room please" bro is so worried about him

Wangji is literally just dead, okay

Awwww, putting him to bed, what a good guy

Did he take the talisman off him?

Alcoholic, get help

YOU ARE LITERALLY A FREAK

"your headband is tilted" "TILTED?!?!"

Wangji is so drunk

Hahaha, just slapping him away

What a gay guy

Okay, what the fuck "you're gonna be alone forever" JUST YOU WAIT WUXIAN

Does Wuxian just find pleasure in bringing up parentless trauma to deal with his own parentless existence???

Stoooop, he's sobbing

I'm sobbing now

I like how Wuxian realises what he said and just starts trauma dumping. Awwwww. He's making Wangji feel better methinks.

THEY LOOK SO HAPPY!!!! STOOOOOP 🥺🥺🥺

Toasting together 😔

I wonder how Wangji's feeling with a hangover

TEA BREAK WITH THE LAN LADS

Bros are literally gossiping at this point.

Xichen has the info and looks so pretty giving it

How is Qiren more bothered about Wuxian being there

THEY'RE SLEEPING, LEAVE THEM ALONE

Shit.

HAHAHAHA WANGJI IS JUST FUCKING GOOOONE.

Wuxian trying not to laugh.

How does Qiren sound so offended, get your shit together

SNITCH!!!!!!

Kill the snitch.

They're so worried about Wangji being involved, I'm cackling

"MY BROTHER??? You sure you don't mean a different Wangji?"

I like that Wangji is so fucking ready to repent and the others are terrified

WUXIAN TRYING TO STAND UP FOR WANGJI, I'M SOBBING

He is a very troublesome young lad

DO NOT BRING HIS DEAD MOTHER INTO THIS, QIREN. I WILL SQUARE UP. I AM NOT AFRAID TO BEAT AN OLD MAN DOWN.

Back off. Don't drop lore and not be willing to speak.

OWNING UP FOR HIS MISTAKES I'M SOBBING.

Not wanting Wangji to be hurt 🥺

I'm sorry, three Hundred Vs FIFTY???

Wuxian is so scared

WHY IS WANGJI BEING PUNISHED SO MUCH, YOU BITCH.

Nah, bro is dead

Wangji takes it upright, WHAT A MANNNN

Bros already fighting.

Quit your whining, is what Yanli is saying

I love that they all freeze at the sight of Xichen, bros are terrified

Wuxian sounds so pathetic, bro can't even bow haha

Xichen coming in to save the day

XICHEN YOU'RE SUCH A SWEETHEART. IT'S BECAUSE WUXIAN STOOD UP FOR WANGJI, ISN'T IT!!!

Awww, Wuxian just wants to know about his mother

QIREN WAS CLASSMATES WITH CANGSE SANREN????

He's saying they were alike, I'm crying

Wuxian has never looked more attentive

Cheng laughing at the thought of Sanren being like Wuxian

"let's just say it was difficult for him to keep his beard looking good back then" HAHAAHAHAAAA SANREN WAS A MONSTER I LOVE HER

WEN QING!!! babes, you plot so much

Wen whatever the fuck??? That's a big power pose but you look awful

Corpses be vibing hard, me fr

QING YOU'RE SO SMART

It's so peaceful, and Wuxian looks so happy

Awe, the way Wangji is immediately stirred by Wuxian's voice!!!

And how Wuxian calls for him instantly

Bro goes right for his robes - so neat

Fit WHO SAID THAT

He literally runs to see Wangji, not being inconspicuous at all

Zewu Jun is literally shipping them, even less inconspicuous

Wangji doesn't even look surprised, he knows what Xichen is doing

AT LEAST BE NEAT, WUXIAN

He's so fucking happy, how could someone not be in love with him

Bro is just weak

LET HIM HUDDLE FOR WARMTH

Okay, you are just slandering him at this point

Love at first fight

Bro is trying to be friendly and Wangji is just not having it

THE FEAR WHEN WUXIAN STARTED UNDRESSING

Why else would he be undressing

"please don't leave me here" and Wangji just stops. Dude ain't fooling no one

"I will stop undressing" Wuxian...

Inviting him to Yunmeng and offering to pick things for him 🥺🥺 baby's first date

Wangji has never been more stoic and stubborn

Watching him waddle is so cute in the water

THE FUCK'S IN THE WATER

WEI WUXIAN GOT SNATCHED FOR REAL THIS TIME

"Where'd he go?? FUCK-"

Oooh, a caveee

I like how Wuxian is spluttering and Wangji is so calm

They're so pretty together

Wangji actually looks concerned for once, the world must be ending for him to show such emotion

Wuxian trembling in the background like a little bitch /aff

A GUQIN??? WHAT THE FUUUCKKK

Wuxian is literally just being fucking thrown around

Wangji, what the fuck is going on

Wuxian flailing in the background

PROTECTING HIS HUBBY FOR THE FIRST TIME!!! THE START OF SOMETHING GAY

The way Wuxian looks at Wangji with such gayness in his eyes

BUNNIES!!! IT'S A METAPHOR. SYMBOLISM. SOMETHING

Hahaha they have the headbands

Are these rabbits boutta attack

STOP TRYING TO GET HIS FUCKING HEADBAND. YOU SIMP.

The literal music is telling us that this is gay

Wangji flying to his boyfriend to share the headband.

Tying them together 🤭☺️

Wuxian looks so impressed (and in love)

Wuxian's giggle

Wangji doesn't want Wuxian to get hurt

RESPECT THE HEIRLOOM, WUXIAN

What is it with Wangji and dragging Wuxian around

The slutty sitting from Wuxian, respect it

WANGJI ENTERING ANOTHER STATE OF BEING.

Wuxian is sooo smart.

The fact that Wangji just stares at Wuxian until he understands what Wangji wants

Dusting off the seat lmaoo

Why is Wangji so shocked??? Bet it was his mother

WHAT'S GOING ON??? IS IT THE FUCKING BUNNIES??

Standing side by side awwww

WHO THE FUCK IS THIS?????

L-Lan Yi????? She's so pretty I'm in love

Qiren standing at the door like a worried parent and Xichen trying to soothe him 😔

THEY'RE MISSING

Don't slander Wuxian, watch it

A storm??? Looks pretty clear to me

Everyone's fucking looking now

Cheng and Yanli are so worried awhhhh

Yanli is counting on you, Cheng, don't you dare disappoint her

"I will find him and break his legs" he cares so much

Yanli my baby, BE CAREFUL

JIN ZIXUAN YOU BETTER WATCH YOURSELF. YOU EVEN SO MUCH AS TOUCH HER WRONG AND I'LL GUT YOU

Nice catch though, props to that

(DON'T YOU FREEZE ON ME)

Yanli you can do better, Qing is right there

I literally love Lan Yi, she's so awesome

HAHA Wangji just hitting him to make him bow. The little smile afterwards as well

SHE'S A BUNNY LOVER!!!

Noo, Lan Yi can't goooo, she's so badass

Wuxian is a little blunt

SHE MADE IT???? DAMN, I'M IN LOVE

Eat it. I dare you. It'd be so funny

Literally what is going on

Destiny?? For these homosexuals????

BURIAL MOUNDS LET'S GOOOOO

Xue Chonghai?? Is he related to Xue Yang??

This is so cool, LIVING PEOPLE????

Man, people are so power hungry. Greedy bastards

THE TORTOISE OF SLAUGHTER??? HAHAHAHAHA I PREFER THE DANMEI VERSION

Oh, lives taken, she's dropping lore

Evil laugh, suspicious.

She called Wuxian smart, he really is teehee

Wuxian looks so pleased, and THE SIDE EYE FROM WANGJI HAHAHAHA

Put down??? Damn

BURIAL GROUNDS WHOOP WHOOP

So they broke it into pieces.

Bro should not have overfed the Yin Iron

Such evil laughter- HOLY SHIT, BRO HAS FUCKING LOST IT. He needs to brush his damn teeth.

He wasn't wrong to be fair

I like his fucking mood swings "HAAHAHAHAHA- 😐"

Alliances whoop whoop

Ah, burying the past, that's never gone wrong

Wuxian getting told off by Wangji

Wuxian and Lan Yi are so on the same wavelength

Wuxian gasping because they are

FUCKING SEXISM BOOOOO

SHE WAS FRIENDS WITH SANREN AAAAGGHHHH

He looks so hopeful, I am sobbing. And Wangji's look towards him and the music and ehhhh I'm sobbing

LAN YI, YOU DIDN'T MEAN TO FAIL HER

Ah, she started reading. Always a bad start.

SHE FOUND IT, wasn't very well hidden then

Freezing cold. Good lore though, poetic

Wuxian slowly turning towards Wangji

She was blindsided by her naivety I'm sobbing

So fucking poetic

NO way. There's two badasses??? And Lan Yi fought Sanren?????

She just wanted to protect herrrr....lesbians

Bro flew over her, it was impossible to break her

NOOOO, HER HUBRIS

Ew blood

She can't die, she just wanted what was best for the clan!!!

She looks ill, I'm so upset right now

It still sounds so pretty, even if she's struggling

KILL IT WITH FIRE

She sacrificed herself to keep it safe 😔

THAT'S THE END OF THE EPISODE?!??!?? WHAT THE HELL????

#four being a dumbass #Four's live review #mo dao zu shi #cql #the untamed #the untamed spoilers #wei wuxian #lan wangji #jiang cheng #jiang yanli #lan xichen #lan qiren #lan yi #wen qing #wen ruohan #baoshan sanren #cangse sanren #wei changze #nie huaisang #jin zixuan #i miss the juniors :[

[queerregulusablack]

Okay initially yes I was going to make a long, carefully reasoned post about the ask Jude was sent and how it’s a symptom of a much large problem ie fandom entitlement and parasocial relationships with writers and the shoehorning of popular fanfic authors into the role of celebrity or ‘content creator’. I skeletoned it. It’s still sitting in my drafts.

But I’ve had a trying day and even after sitting on it for over six hours I’m still heated, so this is what we get instead.

This is the kind of thing that kills fandoms.

I like to joke that I am ‘old man yells at cloud’ in the Marauders fandom, because I’m closer to the top end of the age range here, and I’ve been doing the fandom thing for more than a decade. I’ve got buckets of experience; very little fandom nonsense is new to me, regardless of it’s twists and turns.

So when I say this, I say it with enough experience to know it to be true; this sense of entitlement, and this callous, uncaring treatment of the artists who create for this fandom, is exactly the kind of thing that kills fandoms.

It makes writers stop wanting to write. It makes artists stop drawing. It makes the people responsible for funny incorrect quotes blogs leave their pages for greener pastures. It’s not just rude, and arrogant, and honestly pretty damn cruel; it kills joy, and motivation, and it will drive this fandom into the ground.

Jude doesn’t owe you anything. Zar doesn’t, Yaz doesn’t, no artist, participating in any fandom, owes you a single thing. They create their art for free. You are lucky to get a word of it; you should be incredibly grateful they post anything at all, because for a lot of fandoms people just don’t. Off the top of my head I can think of two separate fandoms where I and a friend built a ship tag from the ground up, because no one else was writing for them, and so believe me when I say that you should be enormously grateful for every scrap of content you receive.

You should not be demanding more. You certainly shouldn’t be dictating when anyone shares their art, or talking to them like theirs is just ‘filler’ for the gaps between updates by a person you prefer.

I cannot put into words how rude that is. How awful that is. It is so, so entitled and unpleasant to think you have the right to do anything even close to that.

At the end of the day, these are people using up many hours of their limited personal lives to create art, for free, that they are under no obligation to share with you but do anyway out of the kindness of their hearts. It doesn’t matter what your personal preference is, it doesn’t matter how personable and willing to talk to you they are, it is still their creation. They decide when it comes out, and how it comes out, and every snippet is an absolute gift; and I do not know how to fully express how absurd it is to bite at the hand feeding you so generously, and for fucking FREE.

I do think the readiness of so many popular Marauders authors to interact with fandom the way they do, with their open askboxes - with anon on for some! - is a mind-boggling phenomenon. I think it’s wonderful.

If you keep this kind of behaviour up, it is another thing you are going to lose.

The writers you’re talking to are people. They’re not cleverly concealed AI churning out content for clicks; no one pays them. They are human beings, sacrificing their time to create, and offering up the stories they have lovingly crafted to you for no reason other than because they love what they’ve made and want to share it, because they think you might love it too.

I cannot physically comprehend the sheer audacity required to spit in the face of that.

Treat your authors better. Respect the fact that they have lives, remember that they don’t owe you shit, and if you cannot say anything to them that is not basic-level respectful and kind, don’t say anything at all.

Or you will lose all of this. And you’ll have no one to blame but yourselves.

#old man yells at cloud #marauders era #personally I think the update queries Zar and that get flooded with toe the line of being Super Cheeky #but if they're fine with it then that's their choice and I'll keep mum about it #but what was said to Jude was Not Okay #and I'm not feeling charitable about it so there is no benefit of the doubt in this post #if you're old enough to be talking to strangers on the internet you're old enough to watch your tone in asks #and not be a dickhead #if you don't treat your authors well they will Leave The Fandom #I've seen it. I've Done It. #Do better.

[thetistaboveall]

The Descending and Ascending Of A Hero Part 1

Dick Grayson is on his normal midnight run of Gotham City from his haunting grounds of Bloodhaven landing on Gotham Banks roof top.

He rolls over kneeling on to the scene he is staring down peering in to a strange and eerie occurrence as the cloud of mist faded on to scene.

A familiar sound of whimsical child like lore of music blows in the wildness of the wind images of the past penetrating in to his own mind.

His body shook a bit remembering the busy night his world came to a crushing holt of it all with crowds coming bursting through the grounds.

The screams of children yelling out in to the area, clowns and other members of Hypno circus start to appear to Dicks shock of it all.

The entire campus of the circus appears before his eyes flashes of the big top opens and his entire family takes flight in to the air The Daring Graysons.

His parents rope is cut leaning them falling to the floor of the circus tent Dicks mind is returning to his current reality where a new crime is about to happen.

He flips off the rooftop on to the scene in awe of it all the wonderful feeling of his old life erupts when a strange group of loving employees.

A man walk out in the middle of the campus ready to fight for the total control of the fair Dick Grayson to serve only me his future Master.

“Welcome to the home of The Grand Old Hypno Circus”

“Ok! Who are you? What is this about?”

“I am only here to entertain the masses”

“How? Mind control?”

“Perceptive but so much more”

“I am here to put a end to your reign of terror.”

“Can you list any criminal activities on my part?”

“No! You give me eerie vibes.”

“Fuck off with that.”

“Did I hit a nerve?”

“Actually they did”

“You are so weak”

“Fine then! Here is a gift from you to me.”

“Take a look at this spiral”

“Wait! No get that shit away from me”

“Why the hell would I? Stare in to my minds eye.”

“Fall in to the void of madness”

“Nnnnoooo…..ssssttttoooopppp”

“Release control”

“Give in”

“Nnnnnoooo”

“Yyyyyyyyeeesssss”

“Yyyyyyeeeesssss boi”

“Yyyyeeessss….Ring Leader”

“My love Richard”

“Mmmmmmmm….”

“My love”

“Yes, Ring Leader”

“Take a dive “

“How?”

“Watch the spiral and the light”

“The spiral “

“The light”

“Good boi”

“Yes, Ring Leader”

“I must obey”

“Take knee obey your better”

“‘My purpose “

“My life is yours”

“My body is made to be used”

“Break me”

“Sire”

“I own you “

“Of course”

“Only right”

“To be yours”

“Do as I say”

“Yes, Ring Leader”

The Descending and Ascending Of A Hero Part 2

Bruce Wayne is tired of waiting for an answer from Dick Grayson for weeks on end after he had disappeared and no word to know what happens.

Bruce is currently downstairs in the inner lair of the basement of Wayne Mayor the bats are flying high above the Batcave flying over him.

The Bruce sleeps all day and night for days on end body slump over on to the chair and his head laying chin forward on to his chest snoring away.

“Master Bruce? Master Bruce?” Alfred yells shaking Bruce awake from his deep slumber as his snores crackle.

“What? What Alfred?”

“The Bat signal is on high alert.”

“Nightwing’s signal is on”

“Where is he?”

“Tracking him now”

“I will bring him home”

“Be safe”

“Always”

“Bruce Wayne? How lovely it is to meet you?” A familiar voice calls out.

“Dick? Where are you show yourself?”

“I will when I feel it need be”

“What is the matter with you?”

“You vanished for weeks”

“I had to retreat this god awful city”

“Dick quit it”

“From your awful influence”

“I said STOP IT!”

“What are you going to do about it?”

“Beat in to your submission “

“You really think so?”

In the midst of it all a letter fell from the sky to the ground of the grounds dropping in the light of the night.

The lights hit the letters Bruce walks close to the sight bending over to pick it up in a bit disappointment.

He turn its over beginnings to read the letter he is in total shock at the horrific, evil and absolutely cold shill of his words.

Bruce eyes open wide, his mouth drops slow open, the letter fell as Bruce anger rages up in anger.

His hands form a fist ready to fight his old protege looming figure leads a shadowy silhouette.

A downcast cover ls Bruce’s body in time to see a light shadow backflip in to the scene he lands in the yard.

“Will you head my words? Will you obey him?”

“Who ?”

“The Ring Leader”

“Never heard of him”

“You will soon enough”

“Follow him”

“Be one of him”

“Join us”

“Yes Master”

“Don’t listen to him”

“Dick! Come home with me”

“Zip it! Bruce you have no idea”

“About what?”

“The man is my hero, I love him”

“Own your crap”

“Why can’t you accept the truth?”

“I will make you “

“You live and learn”

The end

[fictionkinfessions]

(Warning: this post contains mentions of homophobia, transphobia, bullying, and emotional neglect, as well as general issues with ahistoricism and cultural ignorance within the fictionkin community. Also, this only applies to sources that are meant to take place in a relatively realistic setting or are based on a real-world reigon/time period! If that's not you, feel free to ignore this.)

Hm... I was scrolling around and saw an ask from a really long time ago, and it made me want to say something.

Obviously I'm okay with people using whatever labels and pronouns they want for their kins! It's their kintype, so it's their business, sure, fine, all cool with me. However, even if you do remember being LGBTQ+, you have to take the time period and location into account.

For example, hello, I'm Kennith. I was born in 1969 in an average suburban town in Michigan. Nowadays, in this life, I'd say that I was demigreyromantic, gay, genderfluid, transmasc, and generally gnc, and I would've used he/they pronouns.

However, back when I was still alive as a teenager in the 80s, I knew the word gay and... yeah, that really was about it. If you had asked me then, I would've described the rest of that stuff as "I'm not really that much of a romance guy" and "I'm a guy who was born as a girl and hated it, but I still don't mind looking like a girl sometimes", and I used strictly he/him back then since "I'm a guy and that's what you call guys", because again, I was a teenager in the 80s, and I had no idea any of this stuff was even an option.

And, quick reminder, this is a relatively modern time frame, and it's in the United States. You may have all of these really cool microlabels and neopronouns to describe yourself now, and there's nothing wrong with that! It's never too late to discover who you truly are/were. However, you have to realize that you sure as hell weren't using those labels as, say, a member of ancient Japanese royalty. In terms of both the time frame and the language itself, that's just not how that would've worked.

Also, not to get overly negative, but chances are, if you are from sometime back in the day, even if it's as relatively recent as I was, people would most likely have not been accepting of you. I know people weren't accepting of me. I was bullied ruthlessly in school by nearly everyone for being gay and presenting myself femininely despite being transmasc. "Pretty Boy" was actually the tamest of the awful names they would call me, and it didn't even stop at insults. They would deliberately misgender and deadname me at every opportunity, bump me into walls and shit like that, and I even remember them beating me up a few times. My teachers and counselor did absolute jack-shit, and basically told me that I deserved it since I was so "different" (which is the word they used instead of calling me slurs! fun!). My parents were never much help either since A: I wasn't out to them, and B: they never gave a shit about literally anything else. The only people who respected me at all during that time were Stephanie and Greg, but I was barely able to see Greg outside of the gas station he worked at, and I've already gone into what ended up happening with fucking Stephanie... ugh.

Anyways, once again I say, this was in the United States in the 1980s. If people didn't accept me there and then, the chances of people accepting you for who you in another place and/or an earlier time are next to nothing. I'm sorry, it fucking sucks that it had to be that way, but it's true. I'm obviously not saying that you're not valid if you did have people who accepted you, I'm just saying that it's highly unlikely, given historical context.

I'm sorry for ranting once again, and I'm sorry if I said anything hurtful. The last thing I want to do is invalidate anyone. This is just something to consider, I guess... Ah well, who am I to tell you guys what you can and can't do? If I was still alive I'd be like 54 years old. Old Man Yells at Cloud.

-Kennith Simmons

#fictionkinfessions #fictionkin #kennithsimmonskin #communicationskin #homophobia cw #transphobia cw #bullying cw #emotional abuse cw #ahistoricism cw #racism cw #community issue #memories issue #deadnaming cw #misgendering cw #schools cw #victim blaming cw #slurs #ish #mod party cat #if this topic get ressurected i will have a heavy paw

[goldammerchen]

i know this is likely my paranoia speaking, that this could be considered perfomative, and i might be neurotic (no, i am), so i'm leaving this in my #about blog tag.

having aph/hws Pru.ssia as my favorite character does not mean i like the actual ex-political entity, much less that i'd like it back (hell no). i like Gil (the weird persona) and anyone closer to him, thesefore including aph/hws Germ.any - Ludwig (especially considering both entities a continuum), but i am not a fucking wehra.boo or some similar/even worse shit (apologists fuck off).

the last thing i want to do is victimize these two fuckers as much as they are fake anime men, even while having somewhat in mind heta's "but their bosses, sniff". just plain no, but i don't wanna go deeper into this now (x).

some things are sometimes out of place (wrong era) or unnecesary.

i have yelled to the clouds like an old man about the flags before (twice), about the uniforms, and as well complained about the fucking iron cross in a post tags (sorry. also idk where it is): i barely draw, but personally i'd rather—try to—avoid—sharing—it in anything post wwi-ii, while the chunkier version that doesn't look like it anymore it's on thin ice—like hetamyu iirc, that's also green, so in addition doesn't have mfing white borders like the one that was used in war vehicles (the inner corners) and the usual design. i don't think the fandom will ever completely get rid of it—if fans actually watched the news it'd be more obvious who likes those symbols, whether crosses or old flags... i guess normal catholic ass crosses or ridiculous plus symbols with different coloring could be some sort of middle ground, while anything pre wwi i assume is historical—and post wwii use is sincerely stupid (same or worse with the old flags), unless is in lud's modern uniforms bc they still use the symbol in blue unless is fucking idk, planes, but uhhhh, rather not.

*also i haven't send fucking asks about this, as much as i complain. i think once or twice i have seen posts about this, or more.

edit: new 2024 posts (+3) made in the context of the fandom being unable to recognize rancid shit, or not fucking caring—i worry here meanwhile the fandom willfully interacts with potential obvious bad actors. see other posts i reblogged that day to have a better idea of what i'm talking about...

#about blog #blog psa #negative

[angrypedestrian]

Using this site as god intended, as a repository for my old man yells at cloud thoughts, so I don't actually get yelled at by teens on twitter:

I truly do not understand young bands that have seemingly been around for less than 5 years, and CERTAINLY doing large scale national touring for less than 5 years all using in-ears and wireless packs for their instruments and fucking MODELING AMPS. A. Those fuckers are expensive as hell, HOW are you paying for these and B. they sound like shit in small rooms!! They are sterile and thin and there is ZERO reason to be using them if you aren't filling 1000+ cap rooms at MINIMUM.

Like do not get me wrong, yes young people protect your hearing, and in-ears are a way to do that, but y'all could just wear earplugs and use monitors like we did (shaking fist at cloud) Back In My Day. But they aren't just using them as hearing protection, they're using them so they can hear all the CUES for their BACKING TRACKS. WHAT IS HAPPENING WITH THE YOUTH OF AMERICA TODAY.

Anyways I was at a show tonight at a 300-350 cap room and every band had in-ears, wireless packs, and backing tracks and I fully felt like I was losing my mind. They were all relatively fine to pretty talented bands, but the music felt cold and like it was coming from an aux cord plugged into the sound system, not an actual BAND playing LIVE and I am ONE HUNDRED THOUSAND YEARS OLD I KNOW

#ALSO this is only semi-related #but WHAT is reverend guitar's financial situation #that they can seemingly send one to every working musician in america #i have seen SO MANY bands recently playing them or doing promo for them on social media #HOW CAN THEY AFFORD TO GIVE THIS MANY AWAY #also are they that fucking good?? #they must be because they are ugly as hell imo!!!! #anyways this has been zach's old man rants corner

[spellbook-gayboy]

prompt 20? :]

20.

"Oh, calm down, you drama queen!" Ian yelled, having to almost scream to be heard over the deafening howling that surrounded the pair. "Like I said, it's only a minor-!"

"Yeah, yeah, I heard you!" Kid Thor talked over; his back pressed to the wizard's and his hammer held up in front of him. "'only a minor-level dimensional anomaly'- which is still pretty dangerous when you think about it!"

Ian rolled his eyes so hard he was half-convinced it was audible. "Every day, I am more and more surprised at how much of the world scares people shitless! Maybe if you lot lived a day in my shoes, you'd- shit, duck!" he shouted, pulling his friend down with him into a kneeling position, narrowly avoiding a large chunk of... something flew over their head and smashed into a nearby surface. “Ah, you worry too much, Mike! Besides, management will tack on a nice bonus for this one, and you can get Sarah a nice... actually, what were you planning to use the money for?”

“LA! We were gonna go on a sightseeing tour!” his friend shouted back; his voice slightly distorted by the anomaly swirling around them. 

“Jesus, how old are you two?! What’s next, you’re gonna get a mortga...!” the wizard started, trailing off as the howling and warping suddenly died down. “Okay... where the fuck are we?”

The pair had just been in the middle of a busy street when the distortion had flared up, but now they stood in some sort of snowy forest. It was almost picturesque in how crisp and even the pure white snow around them was, and every spruce tree was exactly the same height down to their individual needles. If they hadn’t just been whisked away from home by a tear in the fabric of the cosmos, perhaps it wouldn’t be quite so off-putting. “What the fuck?!” Kid Thor exclaimed, looking around the new environment in bewilderment. “Okay, uh... did you close the thing, Ian?”

“Yeah... and I think that’s what caused this, too. I mean, dimensional anomalies don’t just bend space, they bend time, too. We could be a thousand years in the past, in the future, or at the exact same point we left. Who’s to say?” 

Mike groaned, lightly banging his head against his weapon. “Goddammit! The one time I get a day off and I’m trapped in God-Knows-Where, probably a million years away from home, and it’s freezing too!”

“Ahh, come on! We’ve both been through worse than this!” Ian reassured his friend. “Hell, just last week, you took out seven Illithid priests without breaking a sweat! That’s no small feat, even for me! I...”

“You... what?” Mike asked. “Don’t stop praising me just yet, man!”

“Who is that?” Ian said. Kid Thor followed his colleague’s gaze, spotting the figure in question: a thin man, shrouded in black furs and leather, contrasted by both the crimson cloak he wore underneath and the shock of silvery hair he sported that flowed down to his shoulders. He seemed to be lacking an eye, a beaten cloth and leather patch covering the place where it would normally be. He was watching the pair from atop a rocky outcrop at the edge of the clearing they were stood in. He was a complete stranger, but there was something slightly familiar about him, like Mike had met him before. 

The man was gone, suddenly vanishing in a cloud of... feathers? “What was that? Who was that?” he asked, an edge of panic taking hold in his voice as he tightened his grip on Mjölnir.

“Definitely still on Earth, at least” Ian spoke, slowly reaching into his scarlet cloak’s folds. “That’s a Seiðr witch, which means we’re both in danger. A lot of danger”

“Oh, calm yourself, bairn!”

The two of them whipped around to see the old man, now just steps away. One thing that could only be seen up close were the litany of scars that covered his head: a jagged cut raked across the bridge of his nose, twin slashes followed the curve of his jaw, and a long and thin cut marked the flesh of his neck. Mike realised what had been so familiar before. “Holy shit... Ian?!”

“Aye?” the other two men said in unison. His colleague’s face twisted into one of surprise at the realisation of who he was looking at. “How is that... that’s not-! H-how old are you?”

The older Ian grumbled, the dour look in his eyes remaining as he answered “By my last count, eighty-three. Come,” he told them, raising an arm to point off in a different direction, “Niflheimr winters are nothing to balk at, even for an Einherjar and a Cambion”.

The two shared a look of confusion. This was turning out to be a long day. 

#comics spoiler warning right here #but this is actually connected to the 'mad king immortal' story arc #invincible #invincible show #invincible amazon #invincible oc #🔮🪄 #ian cantation #kid Thor invincible #my asks #sequids #writing prompt friday #long post

[notsocheezy]

Brain Curd #11

Brain Curds are lightly edited flash fiction, posted daily and usually written with the intention of being terrible… in an endearing way. Please enjoy.

Millionaire Robert Green lined up his shot from the tee box. It was a par four, but a fairly straight shot. His score was lower than ever before, but a bogey on the eighteenth hole could erase all his achievements today.

He widened his stance and wiped the sweat of his palms onto his pants. This was his moment. He brought back the club, swung, and… it was a slice.

“Fuck!” He yelled, nearly involuntarily. He threw his driver to the ground.

Alex laughed from the drivers’ seat of the golf cart. Robert heard him.

“What the fuck are you laughing at, caddy?”

Alex's face straightened out immediately. “Nothing, sir.”

“That's what I thought.” Robert looked at his club on the ground. “Are you going to pick that up or not?”

Alex nodded and jogged over. He bent over, picked up the club, and placed it in Green's hand.

“And you didn't see a thing. Capisce?”

“Of course, sir.”

“Good.”

Calmed with the knowledge that he could get away with cheating, Robert found his next shot more satisfactory. He finished with a par on the hole.

Alex drove the cart back into the depot and plugged it into a charger cable hanging from the ceiling. The light didn't come on, so he banged his fist on it until it made a connection. He walked over to the caddy corner, sat on a stool next to Brian, and took out a joint.

“Got a light?” He asked Brian.

“No way, man. Put that thing away!” He looked out the garage door to make sure no one was around. “We're not supposed to smoke in here!”

“Ugh, fine.” He put the joint back in his pocket and pulled out a vape the size and shape of a deck of cards. He took a long pull and exhaled a massive cloud of vapor. “Guess who I just had to wait on for four hours?”

“Lindsey Pope?”

“No, worse.”

“Oh, shit. Green?”

Alex exhaled another puff. “Yeah, fucking Green. Man, did you see that cloud? That might be the biggest one I've ever done.”

“Did he ask you to ‘forget’ anything this time?”

“Every time. I almost thought he wouldn't today. He was playing really well until I used negative thinking to screw up his drive on eighteen.”

“I don't think that's how golf works.”

“That's how the universe works, dude! Did you watch that YouTube video I sent you? Frank knows his shit.”

“I'm not into conspiracies.”

“It's not a conspiracy theory, it's a proven fact!” Alex spit on the ground and wiped his mouth on his wrist. “You'd know that if you watched anything I sent you.”

“That shit was three hours, man.” Brian took a bite of a day-old danish. “Give me the SparkNotes.”

“Okay, okay, what's something you want?”

“A billion dollars.”

“Picture that in your head.”

“How the fuck am I supposed to picture a billion dollars in my head?”

“Think of what it'd be like. Babes, pools, yachts… playing on the course instead of working for it?”

“I don't care about that shit, man. Give me some Pringles and a couch and no more student debt and I'm good.”

“Whatever. Picture some fucking Pringles.”

“Okay. I'm picturing the Pringles. What flavor?”

“You're not taking any of this seriously.”

“No, no,” Brian patted Alex on the shoulder and closed his eyes. “I got it. Cheddar flavor. What next?”

“Don't waste my time, man. I went to Harvard.”

“Wow, I never knew that. You have never mentioned it.”

“Fuck you, dude.” Alex pulled from his vape for what seemed like a full thirty seconds. He released the button and began coughing up Froot Loops scented pseudo-steam like an asthmatic water dragon.

Brian opened his eyes and gasped sarcastically. He fumbled around in his bag and pulled out a small can of Cheddar Pringles. “It fucking worked, dude!” He popped off the lid and pulled off the paper seal.

Alex crossed his arms and slouched in his chair.

“Oh, come on man, I'm only playing.” Brian pulled a crisp from the can and waved it in front of Alex's face. “Want one?”

Alex begrudgingly took it and stuck it in his mouth, crunching down as angrily as he could. “I should own this fucking place. It'd be on the fucking moon by now.”

“Like Dogecoin?”

“Bro, no, not like Dogecoin. I mean for real. I'd kick out all the assholes like Bob Green and people would actually like coming here. But if it's gonna happen, it needs to happen fast. I've got a plan. Have you ever heard of drop shipping?”

“No.”

“Perfect, let me explain. Can I have another chip?”

#NSC Original #brain curd #brain curds #writing #creative writing #writeblr #flash fiction #author #writer things #writers #writers on tumblr #writers of tumblr #writerscommunity #women writers #female writers #queer writers

[seumascowan]

Few Thoughts on a Few Things • XIX

TV Party: We've (b/c of me, I don't watch many shows at all) finally gotten around to watching The Mandalorian s3. A couple things: 1) idgaf how old I am or whatever, I fuckin' love Grogu, and I am thankful the entire series hasn't been just making me stress by putting baby Grogu in constant peril. If anything happens to him, I swear to fucking christ... 2) Watched up to the last episode, and I can certainly do without the goofy military tactical lingo and actions. It's way too forced and obvious. Just stop it.

Finished watching Letterkenny, which, ostensibly was the final episode ever. Overall, loved the show and will miss it. I did not, however, dig that last final shot w/ Wayne and that annoying Mexico woman. Why tf not have Rosie in that shot?! Unacceptable! Other than that small detail, it was a great finale.

We're also sloggin thru a few other shows start-to-finish, right now one of them is SVU, now in season 11 I think, so a shitton left. Can only watch so much of it at once though, for obvious reasons. Purpose of mentioning it is that we just saw the ep.'s with Sharon Stone as the ADA, and holy shit she is bad. Like really fucking bad. Poor lines, dialog, delivery, all of it. Gonna give her the benefit of the doubt and hope it's just the writers... and also hope ta fuck that's all we see of her on that show! Seems like I'm not on an island here.

Wanna talk politics? No? Okay, let's talk politics: I'm gonna say it — Joe Biden needs to drop the fuck out. The fact that the Democratic party, the official party, is fucked in the head if they don't see what's coming. I'm honestly baffled by it all. Either hubris or just complete ineptitude. It's just incredible head-in-the-sand shit. The simple reality that there's even a remote, even astronomically remote, possibility that Trump even has a chance should be beyond a wake-up call. Relying on a corrupt, stacked Supreme Court is beyond absurd. Dems have got to clean the shit from their ears and get with the fucking program. Relatively few in any sort of generally mainstream media have had the balls to say anything other than, "he's the guy; get over it!" That sorta shit from libs drives me up the fucking wall. One got close at least. How's about address one fucking legitimate concern people have... that people are fucking screaming about! Also, if Trump is the legit threat people say he is — I, for one, believe that to be the case with good cause — like an existential fucking threat, then why aren't Dems taking this more seriously. Look at how we've dealt with even perceived threats in the past, perhaps. Not making any sort of suggestions here, but goddammit, we're literally just kicking this old bag o' bones down the street towards straight-up dictatorship. It's really something to witness.

I saw this headline a few days ago and knew exactly what 'slur' it was referencing — firsthand knowledge from over 20 fucking years ago! In my previous life I was passing through El Paso, or maybe it was Del Rio, and had to liaise with some different feds in the area, including a few Border Patrol agents. I cannot recall the context where he brought it up, but can picture the asshole laughing as he explained to us what a "tonk" was. Yes, his exact words were, "it's the sound your maglite makes when you smack 'em on the head." Sadly, I was not in position at the time to challenge this guy. Regardless, it's FUBAR.

Old man yells at cloud: All of the two or three people who know me well knows how much I fucking hate insurance. Like, I'm startin ta get pissed even typing this! Anyhow, the insurance tv commercials are outta fucking control. And you know what chaps my ass even more about it, is that these goddamned ads are just dumbass schtick, not actually selling a product. It's the fucking emu or Flo or the goddamned cartoon lizard. It's just so fucking insulting man.

Watched 'Signs' again last week. I know, Mel Gibson is a turd, but you could honestly say the same for about 83% of "Hollywood" eh? Anyhow, remember the bookstore where the two kids pick up the book on aliens, the dude yelling about it all being a conspiracy to sell pop... yeah that's me now.

ICYMI: I made a new playlist on the youtube channel for my current training program, not entirely unlike previous programs I've written, but new nonetheless. If you're into this sorta thing, check it out. I will try to keep up posting clips from my sessions.

Thanks for reading this.

hugs & crap

#thoughts and rants #politics #joe biden #tv #movies #law and order svu #letterkenny #the mandalorian #grogu #signs #tv commercials #training programs #fitness #fitblr #personal fitblr #vegetarian lifter #health & fitness #workout #calisthenics

[gentleoverdrive]

(205/?) Afraid to blink I might lose the sun

I was going to talk about something that disappointed me about some dudes and the extremes they'd go to defend a sex pest just because he was in a bunch of things that were formative to their childhood/adolescence/etc or he's their fave performer... but I won't. ---- Suffice it to say that I find such behavior intensely disappointing (even if unsurprising) because, well, you expect for people, going along with the march of time, to get better about shit like this. Well, that'll learn me. Regardless, it's important to be there for people when they need it, and I keep thinking that a lot of these kids might feel very strongly about that one parasocial relationship... ---- ...and it's important to realize that such a thing, long-term? It's not necessarily healthy. Trying to reach people so they'll stop indulging in such dumbassed behavior can be surprisingly easy. even if at first might not look it. Hmmmrmrrmmm... I don't know. Is it weird that I expected young dudes to be way better about this kinda thing only to feel let down by what I found? Am I just becoming an old man yelling at a cloud? I don't wanna be like that. ---- Just... fucking get it together, a'ight, young men? This shouldn't be complicated, c'mon! Anyway, to the rest of you, see ya' tomorrow!

#diary #daily life of an old shithead #chevelle reference #'wonder what's next' was the record on which I was introduced to Chevelle. Pretty good record even if it falls apart at the end #they were still somewhat nu-metal-esque. but it was a fun strain of nu-metal. Probably helped by the fact they're a power trio. #also an all-brothers band early on! like hanson but for butt-rock #hanson references in tyool 2022. I'm so fucking old I swear #young dudes being dumb (not affectionate) #for real though #the 'boys will be boys' excuse doesn't cut it anymore. #get a dadgum software update for your brain. c'mon! #like I know that young dudes can be dumb (source I was a dumb kid) but there are limits to your dumbassitude! #idk feels sad