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prototypelq · 6 months

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video game ask let's gooooo

5. Game(s) coming out that you’re looking forward to

12. A character you particularly like in the game you’re currently playing (or any other game really)

13. Quick, name the first song from a game that comes to mind

20. A boss you think is really cool

22. A game ending that’s really stuck with you

26. Realism or stylized?

Thank you for the gaming ask my beloved mutual! )))

5. That's a really tough one. While I do follow gaming news, I am not so attentive to actual game releases. Mostly because I have never really played on a 'current' platform. I have been using consoles for gaming most of my life, I played on x360 up to 2017, then I got a ps4, which was/is my most go-to platform till this year. This year was a change for me, because I finally surrendered to pirating at the beginning of the year, and played through a number of awesome low-spec indies that way. Though, I have been very lucky to get a new pc recently, and oh boy is this a big change for me. It's still crazy to think this machine can run something more than pixelart now xD (no disrespect to low-spec games in this house allowed, the more accessible the game the better, weak hardware optimisation my beloved)

I have also found a way to get past the payment blocks and have bought all those games I pirated, that was a big weight off my shoulders) So, uh, yeah. I don't follow releases. I would have said Alan Wake 2 is you asked earlier this year tho, CONTROL had me transform into a Sam Lake devoted follower xD I'll gladly watch a letsplay of it sometime soon, before I catch any spoilers. All the other game series I'm interested in are either on hiatus (Darksiders when), or the latest entry made me lose interest (Horizon 2. I love the world, so I'll follow the series anyway, but the story of the sequel is a mess I didn't like at all, and it doubled down on this new direction too). That was a long and roundabout way of saying I don't really look up to any new games currently, lol.

12. Currently - Lohse from the DOS2. This game has an extensive player character creator, however, you could play as basically one of the companions of the game, with full custom story and questline. And Lohse is a Very special case, as my dear bard woman is currently posessed)

The game has some amazing moments, where it will throw you a persuasion check to 'prevent you from throttling a character because the demon inside you didn't like them' for example. Funnily enough, in this moment in particular, if you succeed on the first check (which is hard to do early-game), if will throw you Another one with other stats to use. And Another. There's three persuasion checks in succession here, which is normally literally impossible to do, unless you mod the game to hell and leave the balance there as I did, and STILL this is the only option the dialogue will leave for you. Lohse becomes uncontrollable after this, and your other party members have to subdue her.

It's incredible, amazing time, 10/10. Other origin characters are great too, but I think this fourth-wall-meddling makes Lohse simply the best origin character to play as.

I also greatly enjoyed playing as Delsin Rowe in Infamous Second Son, I love that game, it's super fun and has great style, plus Delsin is adorable. He's a bit punk, he is witty, he is a geek, an artist and his grafitti-drawing mechanic is adorable.

Also Death from Darksiders 2. His parkour is superb, his abilities are super cool, he has an amazing horse, and he is Literally Death Rider Of The Apocalypse.

13. First song that comes to mind would be Bound Together, since I mentioned it a lot the last few asks...excluding that one, Subhuman + BTL, and Black Dog for the fun of it, All Is Soft Inside which was featured for a virtual concert of AURORA in Sky: Children of the Light (adorable game, which will hopefully come out sometime on pc, mutuals I would hold your hands in that game so. much.)

20. A really cool boss. Sorry King Cerberus and Vergil, you are cool by definition. The first that comes to mind is the Guardian fight from the Darksiders 2, which is honestly the most badass fight in the series. THAT MUSIC HITS SO HARD. And that finish animation, oh my, pure epic.

22. A game ending that’s really stuck with you. ooops already did a too-long and roudabout post about that one xD

26. Realism or stylized? Stylized anytime. Realism is honestly kind of boring, though I admit sometimes seeing your fave very detailed is cool. For example, dmc5 Dante design is my favourite out of them all, because it is finally (kind-of) down-to-earth. The game is about fighting demons and being cool about it, but the story is of human struggle and issues, and the character design finally reflects that. And I do enjoy the Impressive hair physics in Horizon games, but that's it for realism. Stylized is literally better in every possible way: it makes the design more flexible - it can be expressive or constrained, depending on your direction; it is cheaper to produce and easier to optimize and easier to run. Plus 'realism' is a forever-outdated style. Games that were considered 'realistic' in 90s, 00s and 10s don't look so realistic to us now. Even Delsin Rowe I mentioned above - he looks great, the motion capture and animation for the game looks awesome, but his face is kind of baby-smooth and the pupils of every character in the game are just a bit too-wide, it makes them all look like they all collectively had some hallucinogens xD. Meanwhile, stylised games can never go out of style, as they are the ones dictating it. Beyond Good and Evil still looks good, Fables look good, Psychonauts does too, etc. These games always exist in the state they were meant to be viewed in, while realistic games are always reaching for the not-really-but-sort-of unattainable standards, which change with time and available technology.

Stylized is Always. Better. In. Every. Way. Also make games optimized again and lower the hardware reqs. I swear, it's like every new title requires you to buy an entire basement full of rocket-science multi-computers, each with a videocard which name will make the math-lovers cry.

#this was fun to answer thank you)#mutuals my beloved #gaming #surprisingly a lot of darksiders snuck into this one xD #darksiders #infamous second son #dos2 #dos2 lohse #delsin rowe #darksiders death #sky cotl #that sky game

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faarkas · 1 year

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tagged by my darlings @aartyom and @nuclearstorms to do this cheeky lil oc game. i love to rate my children.

no pressure tagging @vilkaas @rockerboys @malefiicarum @cptcassian @leefi @denerims @virmire @statichvm @jackiesarch and @reaperkiller !

enjoy the hastily cobbled together banners at midnight when i have work tomorrow. 😭

- picrew

– FAVORITE OC.

salen trevelyan [dai] & verde jack [cp77]

ooohhhhhhh these two blond(e) freckly bitches are the baddies of all time for me. I’ve had Salen since 2017 and he’s remained my biggest comfort oc for some reason. he is literally just some layered bimbo with daddy issues and too much responsibility. 😭 AND VERDE IS JUST….woman of all time. Almost as old as Salen bc I started cobbling her together RIGHT after i saw the fake 2018 e3 demo. :^) But her aesthetic and character and just the way she is (talented artist exhausted and resigned to having to literally fight for her life…SO many different ways) appeals to me. These two and gwen are always on my mind I rly should do more with all of them tbh. they are so special to me.

– NEWEST OC.

megan stern [re]

everybody say hiiii meg. She’s the new baby on the block and if U can believe it….she’s getting shit written about her. Imagine that. The blondies are fuming. Anyway she’s a bit of a spitfire pilot that gets the honour and dreadful task of loving chwis wedfield. She likes pickle flavoured potato chips. (among many many other strange flavours)

– OLDEST OC.

elena lavellan [dai]

The fact that she’ll be 10 years old next year is giving me fucking heartburn. I don’t really think about her so much anymore, but she was the IT girl for a while. She still holds an esteemed position in my barbie playhouse or w/e. But she’s got the chronic pain, the wit, the beauty, the drive, the bravery to keep on trucking. tragically a c*llen romance first and then s*las second.

– MEANEST OC.

vertex [cp77]

ms cuntress supreme. Her and gwen fought for this spot. But Vertex is MEAN, she’s bitter, she’s old, she’s warped, shes a netrunner, shes almost a cyberpsycho if not one already,,,, her and saburo get along. she’s EVIL. But she does have 1 son that she loves :( cuts her up that he’s basically cut her off completely :(

– SOFTEST OC.

kas adaar [dai]

Kas and I who literally had a name change fight today bc his original name (Tibbalt) just wasn’t making sense. But he is one of the kindest, loveliest ocs in my collection. He bakes, he cleaves enemies with his greataxe, he has good advice, and deals with skyholds various issues. He’s a born leader and the ideal inquisitor. He’s a big advocate for peace .

– MOST ALOOF/STANDOFFISH OC.

gwenyth lavellan [dai]

NOW THIS is my most babiest girl. my babybabygirl. She went through a lot as a young girl, basically trained into a 24/7 bodyguard for her clans keeper until the enclave happened. Gwen and being inquisitor…Bad mix. She’s aggressive, argumentative, violent, and shockingly strong. With enough genuine support and socialization she starts to relax and open up a little. And her relationship with Morrigan…..i love valenzo but gwen and morrigan are….Like wow. She mellows out into the aloof prickly bestie they all need. But U still never know what she’s thinking and if she’ll backhand u or not.

– DUMBEST (AFFECTIONATE) OC.

nizana daevarran [bg3]

Shes in love with a morally dubious vampire. Loves garlic bread. She’s a rogue. Last play through she lost both her eyes. BABYGIRL IS NOT VERY SMART. BUT SHES SO PRETTY and likeable. voted most likely to say something dumb.

– SMARTEST OC.

lorenzo vecchioni [cp77]

Even tho Lorenzo presents as the most ridiculous man alive, and acts like it, he is definitely my smartest main oc period. He is literally an engineer. LIKE AJDJFKN He’s still gotta go to school but likes. That’s an engineer right there. He’s intelligent in so many ways. Husband material ‼️‼️‼️

– OC YOU'D BE BEST FRIENDS WITH IRL.

jade faulkner [cp77]

sweet lovely jade and i would get along i think. She’s easy going and willing to get along with almost anybody so. We’d hang out in the garage bc shes a lil grease rat. :3 Also video games. She loves a good game.

#THIS WAS LOWKEY HIGHKEY HARD TO DO SO. GG.#I was like maybe nizana could be my bestie...no...lorenzo is already in smart....hm.....beau and i would probably clash....JADE....#hil.txt #tagged #ocstuff #Might come back in the morning and expand but i just wanna get it out there. i so sleepy.

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blackuigryphonvr · 4 months

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The Trouble with Cemetery Submissions in Niantic Wayfarer:

There's so much that's changed since The Ingress Days.... I live in South Weymouth Massachusetts, and forever ago, Ingress players got this tiny little Cemetery into the platform:

So, it's STILL IN THE PLATFORM, and it's a PokéStop in #PokemonGo

Then, PoGo players botched the Nomination platform in North America around 2017, which voided the feature for everyone except in some tiny countries overseas.

I actually emailed 📧 Niantic about this in Autumn of 2018, and it took so much effort to finally be able to speak to a real human being. It was a guy named Kirk.

He told me not to give up, even if it was by playing Ingress, and wouldn't say much more. But, I'd been passed through automated services, different people working there just giving me cut-copy-paste generic answers which never answered my questions, but that guy, Kirk, actually did. He wrote me a whole letter. In 2018, they considered my area "rural" which is a joke, since it's actually a city, but with lots of trees.

But, by the end of 2019, I despite Kirk from Niantic telling me not to give up playing, and to try and hit Level 40 (the last level back then) I was very close to hitting Level 40, but I just felt so disheartened. 😔 and, I was giving up on the ability to make new PokéStops. The game seemed broken. It seemed like Niantic didn't care about the upkeep of the game. And, I lost faith... when, it suddenly WENT LIVE!

But, there were new rules, and a role-out, so I scrambled to get my last XP to hit Level 40!

I checked every article, video, and resource, including Ingress Players, and I also played Ingress, sat on Livestreams, took notes in my notebook. 📓

But, 1 thing I notices about the 2019 Niantic Wayfarer system was changes to the rules. Cemetery submissions were mostly a no go UNLESS THEY WERE HISTORICAL OR CELEBRITY Waypoints.

Here's another Ingress Submission Cemetery IN MY TOWN!

This submission it so old. It's 1 of the nicer Cemeteries. I actually spoke to locals here, and learned a lot from a man who's father was buried there. I don't just read stuff online, I go out n meet people. I talked to this guy (and others) during a Lockdown Independence Day weekend, n he was liquored up,n told me all kinds of details about the town, people in charge, the history, going back centuries, good stuff n trails in the woods, and so much more.

So, based on his Intel, I submitted the Moment thingy in that Cemetery witch is also a PokéStop.

It was actually a fountain w a perpetual motion ball on it, but I busted during some mega hurricane 🌀. The Walker family was famous tycoons, n that's a lot of other history stuff, if u know anything about the Gilded Age which literally started here, as far as the eyes can see. Not even exaggerating. And not just the shoe industry, several industries.

So, it was soooooo odd that THIS GOT THROUGH:

Even tho the Elmwood Cemetery is actually a PokéStop, n has been for some years now, I'm shocked it even got through. But, the community voted it in. It's one of those 1800s ones that's not worth the effort. It's also ultra common, nothing special. But, also, if you blink, you'll miss it. And, it's in someone's ultra quiet New England neighborhood.... I, also, personally, would've never voted it through.... and yet, THERE IT IS!

MORE OF MY BACKSTORY:

I also kept getting banned because some bullies kept making up lies about me being an abuser n a racist. I even had to change my identity, and my name, 3 times during the Pandemic, and I pretended I was a dude. But, all the Admin in my local Discord server knew me, n knew who I was.

Now, u CAN actually get some kinds of Cemetery related waypoints through, tho I don't recommend it for several reasons.

You need to REALLY KNOW WHAT YOU ARE DOING,

ACTUALLY UNDERSTAND THE RULES,

AND ACTUALLY MAKE A STRONG CASE FOR IT.

Is it historical?

I don't recommend anything from the 1800s & 1900s, unless it's an actual celebrity, founder of a town or city, that's verifiable. So, it ought to be way older than the 1800s, n even THAT will struggle to get through. In fact, I generally DO NOT even bother submitting cemeteries because they get screwed so fast.

The old 2019 rules against Cemetery submissions was because they thought it might be offensive to people in parts of Asia like: Chinese, Korean, parts of Southern Asia, etc.

This includes gravestones, but a famous mosuleum might go through. A president, or Elvis Presley level celebrity would probably go through.

It's because people don't use their good Judgment, and don't think things through, you're gonna get these brainless, quick to judgement voters who vote it down.

I actually read EVERY GRAVE, N CEMETERY SUBMISSION I vote on in Wayfarer. I ALSO TEND TO VOTE THEM DOWN. BECAUSE I PUT SO MUCH EFFORT into my submissions, n back up everything with facts, citations, quality, effort, etc.

So, when I see something that's potentially GOOD, but they didn't bother to write anything, not only do I down vote it, I also write something in the comment section.

HOWEVER...

There is actually a VERY GOOD Cemetery that more than qualifies, but I also live in SOUTH WEYMOUTH MASSACHUSETTS n we have active saboteurs from Reddit that hate us just because we live & breathe, and BRAG ABOUT IT FOR YEARS.

They GET OFF ON IT.

Here's an EXAMPLE of a tomb I got through of a very famous figure of many counts. It qualified due to multiple things, but I had to try through APPEALS, by writing an essay to make the case for it, since people DO NOT READ or USE GOOD JUDGEMENT. they just conclusion jump: Cemetery = BAD, -regardless of ALL THE DETAILS, and WHAT THE RULES HAVE EXCEPTIONS FOR.

I did manage to get the special historical tomb of a famous local soldier/veteran that's from a few registries including the descendants of the Pilgrims from The Mayflower (Yes! The Thanksgiving Mayflower down the highway in Plymouth Mass)

But, the actual Cemetery itself, which is loaded with history, is usually sabotaged.

It's the super old Highland Cemetery which is very popular in Google. It's also very popular with dog walkers and professional photographers for decades. (I've worked on films, and photoshoot projects since Bush was president, so I know about these things)

Since things that have a sign or a NAME tend to do better, I used a photo of the Shed in this location in a number of my submissions, as did other players.

But, what do the haters do?

They lie on us and say it's a mismatched location, or doesn't meet criteria. Or, that it doesn't meet criteria.

Read the rules!

Read my blurbs!

Check my URLS!

I've also helped other players try submitting this Cemetery.

There's actually WAY MORE WEIGHT IN FAVORITE OF IT'S CREDIBILITY THAN ANY OF THE OTHERS.

This one is the OLDEST, and it is OLD. It's got Puritans in it.

Source 1

Source 2

Source 3

Source 4

Google Listing

Highland Photos on Google

This is why, when I'm coaching other players with Wayfarer, I teach people that it's more SUBJECTIVE than OBJECTIVE.

If it REALLY WAS ALL ABOUT THE RULES & CRITERIA then THIS WOULD BE a Waypoint YEARS AGO... but its NOT.

Meanwhile the OTHER ONES which SHOULD NOT really be a Waypoint, ACTUALLY MADE IT THROUGH, and they've been in the system FOR YEARS.

Also, on the Appeals, there's not enough room to write a whole 9 volume account of Me/Us VS The Saboteur Bullies.

Who got time for that ANYWAY???

youtube

#blackunigryphon #pokemon go #pokemon #niantic #wayfarer #niantic wayfarer #cemetary #graves #Youtube

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logicalstansadvice · 2 years

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My issue was that most the characters had a clear path forward and Bucky did not./ Agree. I'm not sure Marvel knew what they were going to do with him in the future at that point so they left it open ended kind of.

Anon 2: If this was his closure, it was sloppy and wanting. // I wouldn't be surprised tho. When they killed off Black Widow in EG, I was in disbelief over how the writers apparently thought that this was a fitting natural conclusion to her story. I was sitting in the cinema thinking "This CAN'T be it, that's so bad.", so I wouldn't be surprised if Marvel now messed up with Bucky as well.

Anon 3: Reading some MCU rumors, I now understand why there was the rumor of Chris coming back. It seems that there are rumors that Sam would go to another world (multiverse) where Steve became an agent of Hydra, and he would have to fight Steve, Hydra and restore order.

Anon 4: There's a future MCU project I'd like to see Bucky star in that's Nomade than Thunderbolts. Steve Rogers was Nomad in the comics, it would be cool for Bucky because he didn't become Cap, but he would get something from Steve that fits more perfectly with who Bucky is.

Anon 5: I wanted a cameo of Bucky at T'Challa's funeral, but FTWS did that shit. T'Challa helped Bucky, I can't believe he won't be there for a tribute. I HATE FTWS show.

Anon 6: But if he said that years ago, things could have changed since then. >> Yes, he said years ago, and it may have changed, but even what he said years ago is coming true, which is scary, I mean, he said in 2017 that Wanda would be in DS2. Nobody knows who this guy was, he came out in 2012, spilled tea all over the MCU, deleted the account, and then came back with another account with more content. I hope he comes back.

Anon 7: because they prefer a dark sad tortured Bucky, / Sweetheart most don't prefer this crap, most want normal character development after more than 10 years of the character in this universe. Having closure is good, but it also needs to be well done IF TFATWS ending turns out to be the real ending for bucky, then let marvel delete their twitter account right away, because a lot of people will have questions. I said what I said.

Anon 8: it was sloppy and wanting>> After what they did to Steve Rogers. At least they didn't make him go back to marry the redhead he didn't even remember the name of.

Anon 9: I know a lot of fans hate the show because they prefer a dark sad tortured Bucky>> I hate the show because he didn't have a well written story, in fact almost everyone on the show was not well written at all, Sharon, Zemo, Walker, all very poorly written. But as said, he's the only character you don't know where he's going.

Anon 10: he said that the MCU had no future plans for Bucky // The only characters Marvel has no further plans for are where the character is explicitly killed off or the actor doesn’t want to play the role anymore. Every other character can return if Marvel finds a story reason to use that character. For example, who would have guessed that the Abomination—played by the same actor as in the Hulk movie—would ever show up again in the MCU, but he had a cameo in Shang-Chi and he will be in She-Hulk.

Anon 11: not all fans that were unhappy with the show prefer a dark, tortured Bucky. // Wanted to add my two cents. The show left me really unhappy with how it dealt with Bucky's trauma and healing because... It didn't deal with it at all. Many fans of his relate to him because of trauma, and many of us wanted to actually see him heal from it, but most of it was done off-screen. Not only that, but there was so much victim-blaming and ableism towards him in the show. I want to see a happy Bucky, but I also want to see how he gets there, in depth and in a way that is respectful of his character and to his fans.

Anon 12: They said it will be (skinny) Steve as the hydra stomper that fights Cap Carter. If it fallows last season, Bucky would probably be old or dead since he never fell off the train and got to live out the rest of his life. // they said in an ep of what if bucky would be old, and working as a secretary (someone said secretary of state?) so it might be steve who cap carter fights and she goes to ask bucky for help? unless there's two different eps bucky is in like in s1

💄

#logical stans advice #logicalstansadvice #opinion blog #sebastian stan #anonymous #bucky barnes #anthony mackie #tfatws

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thompsonstessa-moved · 3 years

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'Teraz Rock' Interview - english translation

A well know polish magazine about rock music 'Teraz Rock' (Now Rock) had an interview with Måneskin, and since one of the polish fans on FB shared pictures of the magazine, I decided to translate the interview, because I loved some of the stuff they said there! :D

As always, the whole thing is under read more. ;)

Maneskin is not only ‘Zitti e buoni’ and their winning performance in Rotterdam during the recent finale of Eurovision Song Contest. Italian band fits perfectly into the trend of rock restorers, and at the same time fights with the mental narrowness, prejudices and homophobia. On August 19th they will play In Park Kolibki In Gdynia.

I: You started by playing on the streets of Rome…

V: Unfortunately, there is not a lot of possibilities to debut in Rome. Rome is lacking the appropriate places, there are almost no rock shows. So we couldn’t find a place where we could show ourselves to the people. So we decided to play on the streets to gain the following, the listeners. We did that for good few months. And we had a lot of fun doing that. We think it really helped us, too. Because when you play on the streets, you don’t play for someone who came to listen to you. You need to attract people’s attention. So it was a great lesson on stage skills, to keep the attention. And we played many hours each day, so we also evolved as musicians, as a band.

I: Is it true that you had issues with police? V, D, T, E: Yes, that’s true!! (laugh)

D: It was all because of this old lady, that lived on the first floor, near the place where we used to play. She snitched on us! And sometimes police came and tried to get us to leave.

I: They didn’t arrest you?

D: No, it wasn’t that bad.

V: We were 16 back then. We just went all ‘We swear we won’t do it again!’ (laugh). We hid somewhere for 10 minutes….

D: Went around the block….

V: And played again (laugh).

I: You admited that at first you were shy. How did it happen that you gained so much self-confidence? Do you think one has to be self-confident if they want to show the world that they have something to say in music, in art?

V: It is important, but its more about feeling good with yourself and having fun doing what you do, rather than confronting the world. I think that if you lack confidence, you can’t fully enjoy creating, because you keep thinking ‘What the other will think about it?’. But everyone has to go through this phase. In my opinion, self-confidence is not something you’re born with. Everyone has the moments of hesitation and doubt. I have them too, still. And I think that’s perfectly normal. But you need to learn to appreciate yourself, accept yourself the way you are, because you can’t run away from yourself. We have whole life with ourselves, until the day we die (laugh).

I: Damiano, in one of the interviews you said ‘What we say, can change someone way of thinking’. Do you want to influence your audience? Artist like Chuck Berry or AC/DC just had fun on stage.

D: We also have fun on stage. But now, when we’re well known, we can get to many people, especially young ones. And there’s a chance, that if we say something positive to them, we could help them with their problems, that they can’t fight on their own. For example – like Vic said – we can help them gain more self-confidence and make them feel safer in the world around them. I’ll say this: if as a musician you have something to share with others, do it. But if you just want to have fun playing, that’s OK too.

T: Exactly.

I: Your behaviour on stage is often the reason for homophobic attacks. What would you say to homophobes here in Poland?

V: Fuck them!!!

T: Fuck them!

E: Fuck them, fuck them! (laughing)

D: Maybe not so vulgar.....

T: Fuck them!

D: For sure they should open up more, get rid of prejudices. Make a step forward. Free themselves from the old way of thinking. Let the others live however they want.

I: You debuted in 2017 with EP ‘Chosen’ with two of your own songs and few covers. Even tho you were so young, you already came off as mature musicians with a set style…

V: Thanks, but I don’t think so (laugh).

D: I don’t think we would agree with that.

E: We wouldn’t agree with that, definitely.

V: My bass playing skills definitely left much to be desired.

D: 'Chosen' definitely has its advantages, but… we were still looking for our sound back then. That EP is so much more different than our other albums. But it is a part of our career, our journey, and we don’t regret anything that has to do with it. We had a lot of fun recording it and… its something we did in the past and we’re happy that people loved it.

V: Still love it!

D: Exactly, still love it. Even tho we changed so much since then.

V: The most important and coolest thing about that EP is that even tho we were really young and our skills weren’t as good, you can still hear that we already had charisma and knew what we wanted. And even tho most of the EP consists of known songs, we changed them, played them in our own way, our own style. And that’s really cool because it shows us as a band with their own personality. Of course, now that we listen to that EP, we have lot to complain about…

D: We would do the songs much better.

V: But we like the attitude we already had back then. Even tho we were so young.

E: Our sound really changed since then, but you need to remember that when we we’re recording it, it was already a huge accomplishment for us.

D: That’s true.

I: On ‘Chosen’ Damiano sung in english. On your first album, ‘Il ballo della vita’ from 2018, you had songs in italian as well. Did your songs get more personal because of that?

D: I wouldn’t say that. We started writing songs in italian out of necessity. If you’re an Italian artist and want to reach Italian audience, you need, you have to sing in italian, because not a lot of people speak english there. Now it’s different, we managed to reach international audience, so we can make more songs in english. But we won’t resign from italian, we like to write in italian as well.

I: While recording ‘Il ballo della vita’ you made documentary ‘This Is Maneskin’…

E: They will never forget it! (laugh)

I: You can see there, that during that time you argued a lot.

D: We were young!

I: Did the conflicts threaten your band’s future?

D: No! We were just starting out...

V: Conflicts were inevitable. We were very young and suddenly tabloids were writing about us. And recording an album required a lot of work. And we never experienced that before, we had issues dealing with work in the studio. Because creating and recording together isn’t easy. You need to make many decisions, everyone has their own opinion. Now we’re more mature, we know how to deal with those situations. We can discuss with each other in a constructive way. We were much more childish back then and yeah, we fought sometimes. But even then nothing happened that could threaten our band.

I: ‘Il ballo della vita’ is a concept album of sorts. You have there Marlena, who, like you said, is personification of the concern a lot of you have – that we’re not able to be yourself…

D: The album was supposed to share a message to our fans. We wanted to tell them how important for us is the freedom to be yourself. The ability to love someone, that was chosen by our heart. Freedom to wear the clothes we like. Et cetera, et cetera… We realized that the album would speak to people more, and will be easier to understand, if we gave that idea a name. Of course it’s an idea that we still share to this day, just maybe a bit differently.

I: Your last album, ‘Teatro D’Ira Vol. 1’, you recorded live in studio. Did the way you worked on it was much different from the way you recorded ‘Il ballo della vita’?

D: Oh yeah! It definitely took us less time!

V: Definitely much faster. It was very exciting. We wanted to keep in studio the energy we have when we play concerts, which meant playing together. Which is of course much more difficult than recording separately. But we told to ourselves: let it be, we should at least try. And we loved the result.

D: You know, at first you work on the material in rehearsal room. And you’re full of energy. But then you come into recording studio, where you divide the song into parts, and you loose that power, that magic. So we realized that we should change the way we work, so we could keep the emotions from rehearsals.

I: ‘Teatro D’Ira Vol. 1’ is another concept album. You said its all about the rage, that plays the role of catharsis sometimes. Can you say something more about it?

V: Anger is mostly seen as something negative. And we think that classifying emotions as positive or negative is stupid. Especially in art. When you’re creating, anger can make you give more from yourself, say more. And that’s what our album is about, talking about the world of theatre. We show that something that’s seen as bad, can – especially in the world of art – become something good. And those songs, that are so full of rage, can bring relief to our listeners, which only confirms what I’m trying to say.

I: In the lyrics to 'In nome del padre’ and ‘Vent’anni’ you’re talking about mistakes you made in the past...

D: They are very different tracks, even if they seem to talk about the same topic. Vent’anni is all about our age, because we think it’s a very special moment in your life: you become an adult, but you’re still too young to be considered as such, and they don’t treat you seriously. We wanted to share that with our fans, because maybe they think the same. And In nome del padre is about the battle we had to fight, the mistakes we had to make, to get where we are today. Of course we’re still young, we still make mistakes. But I’m singing about the mistakes from the past, because they made us the way we are today. And I’m saying: don’t be afraid to make mistakes, because they are a part of your journey, your life. What’s important is how you react to those mistakes.

E: It’s not a mistake to make mistakes.

I: The next album, continuation of ‘Teatro D’Ira Vol. 1’ – is it already recorded?

D: No, no.

V: Indeed, our next album will be continuation of ‘Teatro D’Ira Vol. 1’, but we’re still working on it. We don’t want to record it in a hurry, we want to take our time making it.

D: We have a lot of songs already, but we want to have plenty to choose from. We want the album to have the most representative songs, the best ones.

#maneskin #måneskin #måneskin interview #maneskin interview #damiano david #victoria de aneglis #ethan torchio #thomas raggi #*mine

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joheun-saram · 3 years

Text

promise - 1 (knj)

Chapter 1: New Year’s Eve

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Summary- It’s NYE and you can’t wait to bring in 2017 surrounded by your friends, but there’s a new cute boy around. You’re intrigued but quickly find out there is it’s no good being cute when he’s literally the most infuriating person you’ve met.

word count- 3.1k

pairing- asshole!Namjoon x Reader (alternatively, edgelord!Namjoon)

rating- PG15

genre- collegeau, roommatesau, enemies2lovers, slow burn, this chapter is platonic fluff(and angst I guess), future angst, fluff and smut

warnings- alcohol consumption, marijuana consumption, Namjoon being an absolute ass, he’s against socialism for a hot second (to rile her up, our Joonie is still woke tho nw), mention of sex, Jungkook’s parents based on my actual best friend’s parents (shoutout to their amazing jello shots!)

a.n- Well, well, well... if it isn’t my simp ass writing another Namjoon series. Love that about me. Get ready for some slow burn and a lot of Namjoon just being annoying! 🥴This is a drabbleish series so most parts will be about 2-3k.

Thanks for the beautiful @ditttiii for beta reading and to @aroseforyoongi for helping me with the political argument (also for dubbing this Namjoon edgelord!joon 🤣)

As always feedback appreciated, a reblog and a like goes a far way. Send me an ask! 💌

taglist- @namyoongles @cheesecakes-randomshitz

Send me an ask to be on the taglist!

You were running late. Very late. With a sigh you watched the street pass you by in a blur, the distant roar of your bus dimmed by the rap music that blasted through your ears. You looked at the group chat to be bombarded by messages.

Jungkook: bro istg if you’re not here in the next ten minutes

Hoseok: HURRY UP! JK IS DOING SHOTS WITH HIS DAD OMFG

Jimin: OMG Y/N. WE’RE GETTING DRUNK WITHOUT YOU

Jungkook: adsdsd duddde u suk wdt syop taling foevr

Yoongi: I’m gonna drink all the whiskey I got from Korea this week if you don’t get your butt over here.

Yoongi: Jieun says hi btw!

The texts continued to devolve into nonsense as you willed the bus to move faster. You were annoyed. Jungkook had planned the new year’s party at his parent’s house, and you were beyond excited to party, having spent the entire winter break stuck at home with your parents as they argued over the smallest things. You tightened your grip around your duffle bag as the bus came to a stop. Trudging through the snow you finally reached the familiar red door of your best friend’s house.

You knocked, taking in the large three-storey suburban house as you waited to be let in, already digging through your backpack for the bottle of tequila you had brought along. If they took any more time to open the door, you were going to start drinking right there on the porch. Before you could uncap your bottle, you were greeted by Jungkook’s dad, the familiar, jolly older man moved his hair out of his eyes as he greeted you.

However, before you could finally get out of the cold, he stopped you, presenting a tray of colourful jello shots.

“Y/N! Penalty for being late. You have to take a shot!” He laughed as you sputtered, his face reddened by what you assumed was alcohol. You had known Jungkook since the two of you were freshmen in university and had routinely stayed with him and his parents during break, but you had never seen Mr. Jeon this drunk. You stood awkwardly, not knowing what to do as he insisted, your friend finally joining him and encouraging you as you tentatively took a shot.

“I changed my mind! One of every colour!” Mr Jeon exclaimed joyously as Jungkook groaned.

“Dad! It’s cold. Let her in!” He whined and thankfully, you were let in. Taking off your shoes and leaving your bag by the door, you ventured into the living room where you saw all your friends. Hoseok leaned where he sat on the couch, his face buried in his phone as he, no doubt, texted his hookup. Jimin danced next to the Christmas tree the Jeons had yet to put away with a glass of liquor as Yoongi played the piano in the corner, cuddling with his girlfriend Jieun. Bubbling warmth swelled your heart as you saw all your favourite people.

“Come on let’s get you a drink!” Jungkook put his arm around you, planting most of his weight on you due to the alcohol raging through his veins as he guided you to the kitchen through the living room. In the kitchen, you were met by the sight of his parents swaying together to Yoongi’s expert piano skills, and a man you didn’t recognize sitting at the breakfast island, talking to Jungkook’s younger sister animatedly, who seemed to be trying to leave the conversation.

Jungkook poured you a rum and coke, easy on the coke, as he made his way to the breakfast bar. You stood next to his sister, making small talk before she excused herself to go to her room. She never stuck around long during these get-togethers.

When she left, you were left standing awkwardly next to the only stranger at this party. The first thing you noticed was that he was tall. Much taller than all your friends, his dark black hair styled away from his face, a strand falling on his forehead shaped like a comma. He was dressed much like everyone else in dark wash jeans and a navy t-shirt with white leaves outlined on the sleeves, except his jeans fit him almost too perfectly, sculpting his thick thighs. Although he seemed friendly, greeting you with a pretty dimpled smile, your sudden attraction to him made you nervous.

“Hi. I’m Namjoon,” he said, eyeing you from over his cup as he sipped whatever concoction he was drinking.

“Oh shit! I keep forgetting you guys have never met!” Jungkook slurred as he sidled up to the two of you with his stool, leaving you standing between the two sitting boys. “Namjoon and I have been friends for years. I think we probably met the same time you and I did, but I guess we never ended up meeting together?” He ended his statement as a question, and it surprised you. You thought in three years you would have met all of his friends.

“Well, that and I took a break from school. I was doing an internship in California.” He beamed, clearly proud of his achievement. “I worked at Twitch, you know them?” He smirked, and you had to fight your urge to roll your eyes. Of course, he worked in Cali. You went to a university renowned for its engineering degree and it was the goal of every software engineering student to land an internship in California. Those lucky enough to achieve it used it as social currency and bragging rights. You despise those people. It wasn’t that you weren’t smart enough to land that opportunity, in fact, you were coming off of your internship with Facebook last term, but you always felt flaunting a job to be such an ugly trait. However, Namjoon was Jungkook’s friend and so you let it slide.

“Ah Twitch. Very cool.” you hummed as you drank.

“Yeah. What program are you in?” He asked, continuing the conversation as Jungkook disappeared to talk to his parents, trying to convince them to retire for the night since they had embarrassed him enough.

“Computer science,” you replied non-committedly, watching his face break into a wide smile.

“Oh, that’s so cool! Me too!” He replied excitedly. You had to admit, his smile was very charming and you let your guard down a little more. Maybe he just got influenced by kids in your program to brag about Cali. “I haven’t seen you in any of my classes though! Would’ve remembered you. None of the other compsci girls are this pretty.” He smirked, clearly proud of his flirtatious comment. You narrowed your eyes at him, immediately put off.

“So glad to know you deem me pretty enough to notice.” You rolled your eyes, before grabbing your bottle of tequila and a few disposable shot glasses and making your way to the living room. “Well, it was… okay to meet you. I’m gonna go do shots.”

“Wait! I’m sorry, did I offend you?” he asked, brows furrowed in confusion as he easily caught up to you, walking beside you and even sitting next to you on the floor, as you lined up the glasses to pour the drinks for everyone.

“No it’s cool, dude. We just don’t have anything in common,” you said nonchalantly as the rest of your friends crowded the table, excitedly taking a shot glass in hand as Jungkook waltzed in with a plate full of lime wedges and an intricately expensive-looking salt shaker. Namjoon didn’t say anything as everyone took their shots, but watched you throw back your drink, noticing the small smile that overtook your features as the alcohol from earlier finally started to take effect.

After a few more shots, the party really started. Although there were only seven people, your rowdy, borderline chaotic group had you laughing. Hoseok was going on some tale about his adventures back home where he ended up at a bar with his high school friends and got the numbers of four girls by doing a disgustingly named muff-diver shot. He bragged about his game, and you burst his bubble by telling him it was really only because he was hot. Something he didn’t take much offence to as he wiggled his eyebrows at you. Namjoon, however, came to Hoseok’s defence, much to your annoyance.

“And how would you know? I doubt Hobi here has used his A+ game on you.” He raised an eyebrow in challenge, making you scoff as you rolled your eyes.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Well… you guys are friends, I doubt he would try to pick you up.” He spoke with a logical tone, as he eyed you and Hoseok.

“Oh really? Okay Hobi. Since your game is so great. Let’s see it.” You turned around, staring at your friend next to you. Namjoon leaned back against his hands on the floor, watching the scene unfold with a smirk.

“Really darling? Don’t blame me when you fall for me.” Hoseok moved closer, finishing his drink as you huffed in annoyance. You were in your first stage of drunk, the stage where you got mean for no reason

“Get on with it, loser. Your face is making me drier as we speak.” You waved as Hoseok leaned in, his nose rubbing gently against your ear, his breath on your neck, making you shiver slightly.

“Hey baby, how about you let me take you downstairs and defile you on Jungkook’s Iron Man sheets.” His voice was low, almost a growl. You never thought you would hear Hoseok’s sexy pickup voice and you were sure that if you were someone who had not seen him whine and cling onto you after a few drinks, you’d be putty in his hand. Instead, you burst out laughing, doubling over with your hands on his thighs as tears of mirth filled your eyes. Not one to give up that easily, Hoseok continued.

“See. I’m a funny guy Y/N. Let me eat that pussy!” He couldn’t hold back any longer either, his voice breaking at the word pussy as he too devolved into a fit of laughter. His comment, however, broke Yoongi and Jieun out of their bubble as they looked up from their make out session, looks of horror on their faces.

“Please tell me you did not just say that Hobi!” Jieun chided, her voice shrill.

“That’s fucking disgusting.” Yoongi shivered as he drank more of his whiskey in an attempt to calm himself. Hoseok and you continued laughing at your friends’ reaction, the rest of the group joining in, except Namjoon who seemed to be watching the two of you with raised brows.

“Wait. I don’t get it. That should’ve worked.”

“Yeah dude. Y/N what the fuck? Let me eat that pussy!” Hoseok grabbed you by the shoulders, shaking you while screaming at your face, between giggles.

“Oh my god. I’m gonna get a stomach ache. Stop!” you wheezed, before turning to Namjoon. “Sorry dude. I’ve literally helped Hobi pee once. There’s no going back to sexy when you see him whine about forgetting how urinating works.”

“Yeah and no offence babe, but you literally had your hands on my dick and it was flaccid as hell.”

“You guys are weirdly close,” Namjoon commented, his face scrunched as he assessed you and Hoseok.

“You think they’re close, you should see her and Jungkook. They even slept together!” Jimin remarks finally sitting down after dancing by himself for the past twenty minutes.

“And it was fucking horrible. High five!” Jungkook leans over the coffee table to slap his hand against yours, the two of you giggling.

“What kind of incestuous group is this?” Namjoon remarked, sipping his drink before turning to you where he watched you leaned over the table as you still slapped your hand against Jungkook’s to the beat of the music. “So when’s my turn?”

“Excuse me?” You recoil away from Namjoon, almost jumping in Hoseok’s lap. Oh here it was; stage two of your drunk persona, anger. You felt it coursing in your veins at his insinuation. “Who the fuck do you think I am?”

“Apparently the group dick toucher.” He smirked again, that annoying lopsided smile that made his one dimple deepen in his cheek. “I promise I won’t be flaccid like Hobi was.”

“Okay! Y/N and I are going on a walk!” Hoseok exclaimed as he saw your fist clenched. He knew you were ten seconds away from punching Namjoon in the face, and he put his arms around your waist and easily hoisted you up, walking you to the front door.

“Hobi I swear to god, I’m gonna murder him.” You glared at Namjoon as he returned your heated stare with an easy smile and a wave.

“I know babe. So we’re going on a walk. Let’s go pick up some food, yeah?”

The two of you walked around the block to the nearest McDonalds, picking up an assortment of cheeseburgers and chicken nuggets for the party, even getting Namjoon what he wanted, despite your burning desire that he starve to death. By the time, you returned to the party and took a couple more shots you were sufficiently cheered up. Hoseok had that affect on you, calming your mood with his jokes and anecdotes.

Cuddled with Hoseok as you sat between his legs on the couch, the two of you shared a vape as you let the weed settle in your bones with a mellow buzz. Jimin sat in front of you on the floor, leaning against you as you ran your hands through his hair, enjoying the soft fluff. You were so glad that he had decided to forego his usual hair wax today. You felt like you were in utter bliss, your annoyance with Namjoon long forgotten. That is until you tuned into his conversation with Jungkook - not that you had any choice, because even though he seemed to be talking to Jungkook, his eyes were pointed at you.

“I’m just saying capitalism is the reason you’re sitting here in this nice home. People who can’t afford healthcare or education just need to work harder. That’s how life works.” Namjoon sipped his drink, raising an eyebrow at you, and you decidedly ignored his baiting. It was like he was trying to get you mad on purpose. You didn’t understand his gameplan. Why couldn’t he just let you enjoy bringing in 2017 like an adult?

“Dude… why are we even talking about this?” Jungkook groaned, face scrunching in distaste.

“I’m just saying people shouldn’t look for a handout when there are literally thousands of skills they could learn to make their lives easier. Why are we using our tax dollars for the lazy?” Namjoon shrugged nonchalantly, his gaze boring holes into you as you stared him down. Oh curse your stupid resolve, why did this fucker know you so well, you literally just met! Before you could stop yourself, you were speaking.

“I’m sorry, are you stupid? That is literally the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. Education and healthcare are a human right!” Your voice was louder than usual, startling Hoseok and Jimin as you suddenly stood up, walking over to where a smug looking Namjoon and a confused Jungkook sat on the floor.

“I’m not, but you must be, to not realize that we could invest in teaching people skills to make money instead of just giving them money. Don’t tell me you’re a communist.” He sipped his drink, his eyes dancing with mirth, relishing the fact that he had gotten you to argue. And argue you did, for over an hour, the room forgotten as the two of you discussed social policies and taxation laws, ignoring Jungkook’s protests (“We live in a social democracy!”). You could feel the fire in your veins as you raised your voice, while he calmly discussed the matter at hand. Even though Namjoon was the most infuriating person you had ever met, the fact that he kept up with your arguments was extremely satisfying. Your friends knew you were the kind of person to debate a point until all the sides were uncovered so they would never start an argument with you, and as much as you hated Namjoon, you loved that he was such a great sparring partner.

“Oh my god! Shut the fuck up!” Jimin yelled suddenly, breaking you and Namjoon out of your bubble, as you looked at your usually bubbly friend, staring daggers at you. You sheepishly apologized, just as the countdown began.

Everyone stood and you followed suit. However the alcohol in your body decided to catch up as you stumbled, instinctively grabbing on to Namjoon’s arm to not fall over. As you’ve started to realize is his ammo, he one-upped you, putting his arm around your waist and pulling you into his chest. Fuck, why does it feel so nice and firm?

The countdown got closer to one and you felt trapped by his gaze, an intense look in his eye as he smirked at you. His eyes travelled from your eyes to your lips and you felt as if your chest was getting tighter.

“Three!” your friends yelled, but your mouth felt too dry to speak up. You licked your lips and Namjoon’s smirk widened. Why did you find his arrogant face so attractive all of a sudden? You wanted to punch him not two seconds ago!

“Two!” He started to lean in and despite yourself, you started anticipating his lips on yours.

“One!” Suddenly, your earlier resolve kicked in. No dude who insulted you all night was going to touch you. You pushed him off turning around to Jungkook.

“Happy New Year!” You pulled your best friend towards you by his collar, giving him a loud peck on the lips as everyone cheered. Jungkook smiled, pulling you into a hug and jostling you around, giving you a chance to catch the dumbfounded look on Namjoon’s face.

You hugged all of your friends in turn, and when Namjoon, still with his mouth slightly ajar, looked at you expectantly, you raised your hand to him with a smug smile. You kind of felt bad for the way he deflated before he shook your hand, but before you could dwell too much on that feeling, he tugged you closer.

“Well played,” he whispered in your ear, his breath ghosting your neck, and you felt heat rising up your neck. You pulled away with a scowl and before he could say anything else, your phone pinged, the screen lit with the last name you wanted to see.

Taehyung (3 messages)

Oh great. What did the fuck did he want?

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I hope you liked this! Let me know what you think. For more of my works visit my masterlist!

#houseofddaeng #thebtswritersclub #thetruthuntoldnet #btsnoonanet #namjoon fluff #namjoon smut #namjoon angst #rm fluff #rm smut #rm angst #namjoon x reader #rm x reader #bts x reader #bts scenarios #bts fluff #bts angst #bts college #purplearmynet

116 notes · View notes

spade-riddles · 3 years

Text

"Adjusting Expectations" Post

This submission received a lot of responses and 120 notes, so I thought I would compile the comments here.

Anonymous said:

Adjusting expectations anon was so good. If their timetables are right and we do just need to be patient a little longer, can Kaylor please send us a sign? I guess it would be too loud to slip "adjusting expectations" into social media posts, but maybe they could both do something with playing cards? To show they are card sharks right now but they'll find their way home eventually? That would reassure people. And it would fly under the radar.

casuallycruel131313 said:

I agree with a lot of this but I think the main issue right now is that moral and ethical lines have been crossed and there's no coming back from that. In these post-Trumpian insurrectionist times it's unfathomable that they could continue the Kushner narrative I no longer care if or when they come out, I enjoy the music and I'm happy to observe from a distance because I'm interested from a PR/marketing point of view but my opinion of T &K as people has changed irrevocably and I don't see how they can clean the tarnish off.

@theprologues said:

Agree with most of not all if this but I would like to say as a Kaylor the toe Grammy stunt didn’t phase me. I was not crushed by that by any means. I just shrugged and honestly expected it. It was the attributing Betty and exile to him during the LPSS in November that bummed me out and really made me go...really?

rockcrow20 said:

Have to say I also agree with most of this.

I no longer have any expectations on anything changing any time soon and have not been surprised by the recent events its to be expected after everything over the years really

Nothing has really changed (bearding narrative wise) since I fell down the rabbit hole in 2017 (except that great night in nashville 2018 rep)

Honestly I can't say I am as invested anymore about them ever coming out as I was.

I think the wb/Joe thing was the last moment for me and the continual kushner connection just troubles me like many others.

I mean my kaylor motto for awhile now has been hope for the best but expect disappointment.

Low expectations = limited feelings of disappointment.

original-cypher said:

@rockcrow20 the WB was a breaking point for so many. You are absolutely right. There are just so ma'y contradictions that feel like absolute whiplash. (I know I seem to have been the only one experiencing that with Gorgeous but... that was a big one for me, too) But like. You go on a whole PR campaign about speaking up and standing up for yourself. You say you're capable and tired of men trying to take ownership of your success and profit off of your name. And you credit you literal damn work to a bloke? Bitch, 'consistency'? Look it up. It grossed me out. It would have felt iffy if I believed they were real. But since I wasn't born yesterday it just sent me the message "this is how far I'm willing to sacrifice my principles to not be queer".

rockcrow20 said:

@original-cypher exactly why it bothered me and I know alot us so much. Such mixed messaging of being a strong fighting for your rights female and then oh hey let me attribute some of my best work to my pr boyfriend and the pr pics where she is walking behind all the time like 🙄 The Betty thing that was big one for me too!

rainbowdaisy13 said:

This write up and the comments are spot on. I don’t have much to add other than like @original-cypher said, Miss Americana is tainted for me now and seems like at the very least, it was released too soon in the plan. I get we think they have had to pivot but man, that doc, and including her literally saying “gay rights make me me” at the end was such a false flag. To see her wax poetic about not taking shit from men anymore and then see her do the same old hetero weak woman song and dance routine with the WB shit for albums that are of her genius mind has been so disappointing. I still believe Kaylor is real and I hope they get a chance to show the world that. Karlie posting that cardigan pic in the woods before the folklore release cemented for me they are still together. Adding a baby makes me feel all kind of weird ethical things but I hope I live long enough to see it play out and wear my I Told You So shirt 😁

@kellykaylor said:

agree with your post... I dont care about toe stunts but what really pissed me of was hetwashing betty 🤮! beautiful post tho anon!!

roameroo said:

Totally agree with these all comments especially the strong messaging of MA only to turn around & pull that WB = my "bf" crap. I was disheartened by her mentioning him at the Grammy's only bc he's getting credit for sh*t he doesn't/didn't do. That is what irks me the most about this, giving him credit for her life's work.

always-the-last-word said:

Can I throw my pennies in the pool ?? Taylor will put out the big three first Fearless, RED then 1989 that should bring us to about August. This is where the excitement should begin. If Taylor preps and waits for National Coming Out day it's a no lose for her. Lover her money making machine will go through the roof !! If things go bad or good in the public eye she'll have REPUTATION Taylor's Version ready to release. It will be epic and she'll own it and be FREE.

@karlie-what-you-want said:

always-the-last-word I like this take a lot! I try not to be too optimistic but if she wanted to come out sooner rather than later, I think this plan would satisfy both business and PR needs (at least on Taylor’s end). Remains to be seen how Tay will help Karlie dig her way out of the mess they made together regarding the K*shners.

always-the-last-word said:

Always remember that Taylor has a PLAN. Some of her plans are year's old (easter eggs). Taylor's one and only LOVE is her music, everything else comes second. If KK wants to change and be with her full time she'll make moves around the same time frame. That's if she chooses to. In any event Tay will be open and own all her music. I've seen this film before and WE might not like the ending.

chosetherose said:

I’ve been going back and forth for a day trying to figure out what I wanted to say when I reblogged this post. I’m tired. I’m frustrated. I understand I’m owed nothing by Taylor or Karlie. I understand that circumstances out of their control have caused the girls to pivot over and over again.

But, the root of my frustration in the past months stems not from me battling with the trivial (e.g. pap walks, etc.) but with my personal principles. I fiercely believe credit should be given where it is earned and I uphold this in my career regularly. To see Taylor crediting Toe with her art was deeply disappointing. Watch the 1989 and folklore acceptance speeches back to back and tell me it doesn’t upset you. I believe the K******s have blood on their hands and that their actions during the pandemic have killed people. To see Karlie still associating with one of them disgusts me.

I can’t help but think back in frustration - Would you really fall from grace to touch her face? (And in the brilliant words of @9w1ft) But would you die for her in public? I go back and forth feeling like questions like this aren’t fair at all and thinking they are sort of valid. At this point, it sort of feels like Taylor would only fall from grace for her lover if all the stars and facets of her life aligned perfectly. But perfection like this does not happen. Such is life. So why am I here?

I do question why Spade left certain messages in their final days. I am still holding hope a fervent revolution exonerates everyone. I so desperately want Taylor to regain control of her masters or re-records. Maybe this is the plan they thought was best with multiple goals in mind (re-records, having a family, coming out of the closet one day etc). I’m trying to remain patient because Spade told us to trust her endless yearning. But WOW it is asking a lot of us at this point.

Anonymous said:

Despite being a pragmatist kaylor and oftentimes getting into arguments with fellow optimistic kaylors (owner of this blog included) I think it's quite unfair -at this point- to say to the optimists who have patiently sat through the worst kind of stunts with the most terrible kind of people (yes I'm talking about the Kushner's friend group too) that they should have seen it coming. Besides, if it weren't for the optimists we the cynicals would have burned this fandom down by now.

Anonymous said:

Even if we ignore that an insurrection happened partially because of the family karlie's still working for and getting paid from, she literally said before the pregnancy debacle unfolded that j*sh was her last client while talking about cutting hair and doing a cutting gesture. How should we have interpreted that? 😤That a year later she would be more stuck with the Kushners than ever? We don't wake up on day and decide to have unrealistic expectations. She feeds into them. 😠

Anonymous said:

I have no expectation of Taylor coming out anymore. Zero. None. I have no expectation of her dropping Toe or even of Kaylor publicly reuniting. It doesn't even matter that much anymore. But I - do - expect 1 thing. Karlie to drop and completely dissociate herself from the Kushners and this has nothing to do with kaylor. It was everything to do with me being unable to support a person who willfully assists (now using her baby too) and receives money from a family that has made so many suffer.

Anonymous said:

A quick word from an ex-kaylor (who will never become an anti). A year ago, when the Trumps were still in power and untouchable and there was no baby, I was excusing and turning a blind eye to many things Karlie did for the K*shners. Even that dinner in September. I had also made peace with the truth never being revealed. But a year later the Trumps are gone, Karlie is still on full stunting mode now with a baby in the mix, a baby that is already being used by the Kushners, and I've really run out of excuses. Now the only thing that could possibly keep me on board is if I knew there was a good chance that the full truth would come out, so that Karlie's inexplicable and honestly borderline immoral actions could eventually make sense. But as your sub said, this is an unrealistic expectation, thus I became an ex-kaylor and I'm not planning to come back even when they reunite. 😕

Anonymous said:

What baffles me is that Taylor has explicitly expressed her regret about not giving her lover the credit she deserves and her doubt whether fame is worth hiding her true love: "when I walked up to the podium, I think I forgot to say your name", "what's a lifetime of achievement, if I pushed you to the edge". But yet again she didn't do anything to change this. I didn't expect her to acknowledge Karlie, but a nod or at least not falsely crediting her beard would be a good start.

Anonymous said:

1🙁 Let me chime in re: "expectations". I'm one of the kaylors who ever since the pregnancy reveal was trying to tell everyone there's NO way she was gonna dump him soon after birth let alone before that. It would bring too much unnecessary attention and Jerk would have never agreed to something that would make him look like a bad guy/husband. For the exact same reasons, I was also saying there's no way he wasn't going to post about the baby. All the above against the popular opinion back then.

2🙁 So I agree that the day of the birth post was known to T, not the timing though. Simply bc Kushner-leaning outlets made sure to note that detail. If they wanted it to go unnoticed, why draw attention to it? That being said, kaylors would have been more patient with this mess, if Karlie hadn't gone overboard with her freedom "smoke signals" last summer and Tay's "insiders" hadn't been insinuating that the end is VERY near. Both of them SHOULD have known by then how we would react to these.

3🙁 So it's natural that everyone feels played and has no patience for any more bullshit. Another sore point is how Jerk AND the Kushner-Trump klan monopolize the baby news. This isn't just to make it realistic, it's an abuse of Kaylor's baby's name to garner good pr for the worst family in America, with Karlie's blessing. In order for her marriage and split to appear realistic she's putting a LIFETIME burden on her child's back. Unless you believe she's eventually gonna say Jerk isn't the dad.

4🙁 So "we’re in a position we should realistically have been able to see coming". But we did see it coming, that why some made these extreme scenarios, bc this is the worst possible outcome. "Good people try to make it work, even in bad relationships." Ultimately this isn't just a "bad rs". It's a horrific association that should have been resolved ages ago, not one to bring your child into, doom it to suffer a similar fate, and expect people to sit idly and watch. That's what frustrates most.

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h0neyjaehyun · 4 years

Text

☁︎ 𝐃𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐝 ☁︎

Summary // Tali has a heart to heart with Chan, and the Dreamies experience Tali's child like personality when she is really happy.

Characters // Talia Flores + Bang Chan (ft. Dreamies expect Mark, Doyoung)

Era / Year // October 2017

Word Count //

Bold // English

⚠️Warning⚠️ // Breakdown

"Chan its gonna be okay, its not your fault it was never your fault and never will be."

It was the middle of a survival show of the creation of Straykids, Minho not to long ago got eliminated. She went over to his house and brung him food to cheer him up and she promised him that when she had free time she would help him with singing plus rapping. Then just last night Felix got eliminated just because he couldn't speak Korean properly, deep down she felt guilty not teaching him Korean, but she was busy with schedules she couldn't. After Chan walked him to his home, she just finished practice and went to Felix's house to comfort him. He felt so guilty and her heart broke at her friend feeling guilty he couldn't speak a language.

Korean was hard to learn from an english speaker perspective. It was like the opposite of English. She striked a deal with him at least once a week she would help him with Korean, inperson or through a screen since she did have to go on tour.

After she left Felix's place after putting him to sleep. She went to the person who felt most guilty.

She went into JYP building heading towards the studio where Chan usually is. He always in there, either producing, or avoiding his problems and feelings. She heard music, it was Hellevator, she heard it replay over and over again. She knocked on the door, the music stopped and it revealed a tried Chan.

"Hey sweetie" Tali smiled at him sadly she came in and sat on one of the chairs. Chan sat down on his chair and just looked at her. Then he just started to breakdown.

"I- I- I failed the- them Tali." Chan choked up crouched down in Tali's stomach.

"No, no you didn't Chan you tried your be-"

"NO I DIDN'T, I LET THEM GET ELIMINATED TALI....its my fault, I failed them, I promised we would debut together Tali....I promised them." Chan sobbed. Promises to them meant a lot to them. So when Chan couldn't keep that promise it broke him.

"Chan its gonna be okay, its not your fault it was never your fault and never will be." Tali comforted Chan petting his hair trying to calm him down.

"They don't blame you, they don't hate you, as long as you keep trying and helping each other you guys will make it. Jyp was just nit picky. This is not your fault." Tali said cupping his face whipping the tears off his face.

"But-" "No buts Channie, come on, lets go out for a bit, and get your mind off things" Tali suggested

Chan agreed.

They packed up at went to a open store and got some food and snacks. They went to a near by play ground and stayed there for a bit talking.

"Tali?"

"Hm?"

"How do you handle it?"

"Handle what?"

"The hate?"

Tali stopped at the question. She looked up at him in confusion. "What do you mean how do I handle the hate Channie?"

"Well, Ive been seeing some comments that, Im not a good leader or person and that im a f-"

"Shh hey hey, one that not true and two... I don't. Im not able to, but I don't show it. I usually distracted myself and not think about it. But they do get to me I am human."

"What about the staff?"

"Oh the staff are still asswholes to me and the Chinese line. I record whats she said about boys and me. Also that she left a member behind and got in the car instead. Honestly one more thing from her, she out." Chan laughed at her statement, but knowing she was serious. She hated when people get discriminated, she doesn't care if she does, only the people around her. So a staff member came she started acting like the boss and mistreating the chinese members which got Tali pissed.

Whether the boys or the staff know it she has a lot of power. Sm made her co-leader for a reason and that is to point out any staff mistreating members and setting them straight or firing them. They know she honest and knows how the entertainment system works. So they trust her who ever can't handle the idols or treat the idols properly and are reported by her. They will get fired so quick. So most staff that worked with her before know this and they know not to tell new staff because the staff themselves don't want a problems in the future because of another staff member.

"So one more strike huh?"Tali looked up at him.

"Yeah" she said quietly.

"How are you and Han?" Tali frozed at the boy's name.

"Fine" Chan raised an eyebrow at her.

"Fine? Really that all you gonna give me?"Tali sighed at the statement.

"Well, I don't know, its just. Its hard. He didn't believe me Chan. When he promised he would be there. He left me." Tali said quietly.

Chan was saddened that she still was unsure of her friendship with the boy. He made a promise he shouldn't have and didn't believe her words and left her, then expected when she forgive him everything would go back to normal. Which did, from the outside. People who did know Tali, would know it wasnt gonna go back to normal anytime soon.

When Tali talkes to people she cares about, her eyes have this light about them. But when she is unsure of the person a doubts them she has this sheild which would take a pretty long time to get down. It took Han since 2015 to atleast get Tali to talk to him again, 2 years. She was scared.

"You know he cares about you right? That he loves you like the rest of us?"Tali looked at Chan with doubt in her eyes.

"Does he really tho?"

"Tali.." Chan went infont of her and grabbed her hands.

"He really cares about you, do you think the guy will try to make you talk with him for around 2 years for him not to care about you?"

"I- Im just scared that he won't believe me.........that he'll leave."

"Tali if he does ever hurt you, you can always drop him, you are scarily good at that" Channie joked

Tali giggled

"Chan?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm afraid."

"You're afraid of what?"

"I'm afraid my group is gonna do that to me....not believe me, break promises, and leave me."

"Hey they won't, as long as you trust them I believe that it won't happen." Tali was stuck in thought.

"....what if they ask about my family....what do I say?"

"...do you want them to know?" "....no"

"Then tell them your not comfortable talking about your family"

"But what if they feel hurt when they find out you guys know and not them?" Tali said filled with gulit.

Chan sighed for once not knowing how to reassure the girl. Because if he was in the group and found out that a completely different group is closer to their only female member. He would feel sad and bitter. So Chan just hugged the girl to reassure her to gonna be okay.

Tali basked in this moment knowing nothing last forever, then realized something.

"...wait a minute shouldn't this be the other way around?"

"Shh no its fine" "No its not fine switch me"

"Tali its fine"

"No-"

"I swear Talia we are not fighting about this again"

They started bickering about who comforts who then she got a phone call.

She flinched at the sound and cursed in her mind realizing what time it is and how she didnt tell ANYONE she left the house. She turned the phone and sees the ID number as Doyoung. She cursed out loud, she was really hoping it was Taeyong.

"Hey language" Chan joked, Tali just glared at him. She picked up the phone scared if there was gonna be either yelling or a scary calm Doyoung

"Hell-"

"HELLO MY ASS WHERE ARE YOU ITS 1 AM IN THE MORNING AND YOUR NOT BACK HOME YOU MIGHT BE 18 (17) BUT YOUR STILL YOUNG!" Tali cringed.

"Im at the park, I was spending time with an old friend I lost track of time sorry." Tali said sheepishly.

"Its fine just come back home the dreamies were in panick when you didn't come back to the dorms so just go there and make sure your friend takes you there....wait is it a g-"

"Omg look at the time, its getting late thanks for calling me oppa im gonna go now bye!"

"Wai-" Tali cut him off and ended the call. She knew if she said it was a guy they will go all investigative mode and try to find out who the guy is.

Chan smacked the back of her head.

"Ow what was that for?!" Talia whinced while rubbing her head.

"For worrying your members and ending the call early, Talia you should know better." Chan said jokingly, shaking his head and pointing at her.

Tali smacked his finger and made are you serious face at him.

"You can't say anything, rememb-"

"Nope, this is not the time." Chan cut her off putting his hand over her mouth and dragging her off the park to the dreamies dorm.

"We are here thanks for walking me." Tali turned and hugged Chan knowing she won't see him for awhile. Chan just gave her a warm smile.

"No problem anything for our Butterfly." Tali smiled at the nickname. Remembering all times they have been together.

"Thank you for everything Channie, I really appreciate you." Tali said still hugging him looking up at him with this light in her eyes like Chan first saw when he was able to get closer to her. He always cherished that moment because it showed that she trusted him. Her eyes just poured out her emotions, it took time to able to read them but it was all worth it, and he would do it all over again.

"Always, I will keep my promise to you, and to him." He said rubbing her head. Tali's eyes changed when she thought about him, not sad ones more like grateful. Tali let him go and she went inside and waved him goodbye.

She went up the elevator, reminiscing the old times, even though it came to an end she still had part of them left with her as she held her locket in her palm looking at a picture that she cherished so much closing it back again once she was on the floor of the dreamies apartment.

She was at the door preparing herself for either a scolding or affection, probably both.

She unlocked the door and Jaemin tackled her to the ground.

"WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN I WAS WORRIED SICK SOMEONE HAD TAKEN YOU FROM US." Jaemin scolded her while he was squishing her. Then he picked her up and she went back on the ground by the 2 mankaes.

"Why didn't you at least text us" "Yeah I came in your room for cuddles and you weren't there." Chenle pouted while Jisung scolded. Tali giggled but she felt guilty for making them worried.

"Im sorry I didn't mean too. I was just visiting some friends I haven't seen in awhile." Tali said sheepishly.

"Wow so you left us for them wow." Haechan said with a betrayed face. Tali rolled her eyes at the boy running up to him and hugging him. He was surprised at the contact, Tali at the time wasn't big on skinship so she never really did it herself.

"Don't be a baby, I saw you all this morning and afternoon. I haven't seen them in a long time, how about this we can see a movie in my room for the night hm?" Tali pouted, she didn't want to get scolded.

The boys have never seen Tali act this cute and touchy before. They were loving it.

"Hm? How about we cook and then watch a movie?" Haechan inquired trying to see how long her cuteness will last. Her eyes brightened at the idea she let him go and clapped her hands.

"Yes pleaasee." Tali giggled. Tali was acting her age, which was the first time in forever, they didn't know how. But they were taking advantage of it.

"Lets start cooking, hm?" Jeno said while rubbing Tali's head. Tali looked him and gave him her famous smile that would literally make his hearts burst.

"Come on Tali, help me prepare~" Renjun said while grabbing Tali and gently leading her to the kitchen.

Everyone just stood in place for a couple seconds. Processing what they just witnessed.

"Hyung, what did we just witnessed?" Jisung asked

"I don't know, but I loved every single moment of that." Haechan said, Then Tali popped out with a cute apron on with Renjun behind her smiling at her fondly.

"You guys wanna help?" Tali said cutely, everyone gushed on how adorable was being. They didn't know but when ever she hangs out with Straykids she has this kid like persona come out of her and even afterwards, and thats what they are seeing, she just grew up with Nct and Straykids differently she acts an adult with Nct while Straykids she acts her age maybe a little younger. So when she left Chan she was in a happy mood and that continued to now.

They all looked at each other and then back at Tali.

"Of course Princess."

#nct #nct 127 #nct dream #nct u #nct additional member #nct 2020 #nct dream 8th member #nct au #nct tali #nct 24th member #nct jeno #nct jaemin #nct jisung #nct chenle #nct haechan #nct mark #straykids bang chan #straykids felix #straykids minho

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noxyfied · 3 years

Photo

This, is Noxy/Noxyfied/Nox. This is the character I identify as online, and I want to tell you my story with this adorable Arctic Fox because it is one heck of a tale from not so long ago

Things did begin rough at the beginning of my persona’s history. I honestly can’t recall how I came up with it, only how I inserted my love for something and went with it.

From the early years of 2017 to 2019 I was all paper and pencil. Ah yes traditional art was my big thing for a couple of years during that era of 2013 to 2020. I had a time where I wrote stories about characters I made, and not much. No fan art, no nothing, I wanted to stick to my own original ideas at first before I took the step to do something that I did not own; it was a weird mindset I know, I couldn’t hold myself to want to be original and develop to be good enough to draw other things.

It took me some time to develop, hell even to this day I still am unsure of my own skills but I enjoyed trying new things. I don’t reject much criticism even if it comes harsh it still lingers in my head when received anyway. I needed someone to identify as online, a persona who I would have an identity through as I was moving forward on this hopeful career I want to make with my art.

Idea #1 draw my own self accurate to how I look

Scratch that...

Nononono, I am too bad at showing my face, even at that I don’t like myself.

So I had to come up with something else, 2019 was ending with my skills rising up to something neat. I had Fire alpaca and a wacom cheap tablet which I used time to time back then, and with how I moved foward I said “why not, lets draw a glaceon.

Not bad, not bad. I do enjoy anthropomorphic animals, and for a anthro Glaceon it wasn't so bad. Even back then I did not enjoy much of this picture but the idea sparked. I did roleplay around online a lot as a Glaceon. People always had referred to me as a Glaceon when talking, because furry friends tend to be like that and I don’t mind. It had definitely sparked the idea of identifying as one for my persona.

I had a hard time how I would draw this character, a more personalized Glaceon with my own flare of the art style I carry should be nice, should I make it tall? short? anthro? feral? the questions rose up. Even more as time passed, took some time unsure of it, Unluckily I had a Glaceon FURsona, not a persona. (Yes those were two separate things as I carried 7 fursonas as individual characters in their own stories).

But soon one day in class, my artsy self was bored and it just sparked.

This is it! yes! I love it! something about this just clicked for some reason, it was like nothing I had seen before I could not look away at it, this was it.

After class I went home and played some games. The idea was there but man am I tired. Things did go slow, but not for long as of January, the classes I took gave me the ability to better understand this Adobe Photoshop, an amazing tool for editing pictures but also... To draw?!? I have heard of using Photoshop to draw but was amazed to have the ability using such program. During my time 2019 I would doodle around on Photoshop in my school or at home (thanks to the campus giving me a cheaper prize to use it for assignments) Not bad, not bad, the program was for sure something nice to use. Look! I even drew my Fursonas there too, ain’t that nice

2019 was something for sure. It had just begun making 2020 quite the year as I took my wacom tablet, opened Photoshop, and on January there it was.

Oh how cute! I felt so proud of myself, firealpaca was nothing like how clean and pretty Photoshop was, I was amazed at this ability.

“I made this?” that would be what I ask myself everyday. Time to time I would, and still, look at my phone to my drawings and remember what I used to make some pieces, I will not forget how I used thick outlines with the line too from photoshop, added some depth on the eyes. But most importantly, I had a persona, and I introduced it

My friends loved it, I could not believe I am starting to do the shift, my days of traditional art were at a halt. Not at a complete stop since I do use traditional art for a few other things of course, this was just my main focus now.

This little creature was everything to me, cute, easy to make, helped me throughout a few months as I practiced with my digital art.

I also perfected it’s look, but something looked rather familiar about it. Could not put my finger to it, so I went on drawing it.

that was a few exceptions where I shifted the proportions for “it”

“It” “it” what was this thing supposed to be, I myself was unsure how to identify myself with this persona. Male? no, female? no. The issue was there, who am I really inside, who was my persona gonna be.

I still cannot tell you exactly what my persona was for the longest time. I at times felt lost and confused with my identity, it did not help that 2020 did its mumbo jumbo and a pandemic happened, it was a lot of time on my own at home just questioning really who I had been for the longest time. Classes were minimal so my free time was big around April and May.

I was always unsure of who I was exactly, through my early years late 2000′s I had in me that my body was uncomfortable for looking the way it did, 2010′s went silent but there was something in me I did not understand. why did I feel this way, why do I feel as I am not happy with who I am, and who I identify with.

This persona was the wake up call to who I really wanted to be. I saw it in me that I knew being a male was the main issue in me feeling unhappy. Throughout my life I did not enjoy masculinity as much as other kids, yeah I had some boy traits but it was rather minimal, I enjoyed other things more. I enjoyed a lot of things about being female it was something I had never seen before. as hard or confusing things tend to be from me to explain, its a rather hard thing for myself to explain. But that how it felt “confusing” I researched and looked for things and to my conclusion I had come to be, I come to identify as a MtF trans.

I felt relieved in me of it and I already enjoyed my days more after from it. The only issue is “who do I tell..?” I was timid to tell this to anyone, friends or even family. Especially family, those I come to admit they will never be told of what my decision was because of how hard headed they are. It is a tragic story to tell since most families are such closed minded people of rejecting others.

“My friends tho, my friends? I would feel bad if I told them” that was the mindset I had for a while before admitting to them time to time, one by one. This was a chapter in my life that had changed me early 2020′s but I felt a lot of joy in me to be who I wanted to be, I no longer took anyone else's guidance for controlling who I am, I just went with my own flow.

My persona was.... more comically confused, it could be either so I just left it how my mood wanted it to go for when drawing it. So, things went well, in 2019 with the money I got I found myself enjoying a lot of second handed games, with a game coming real soon that had me pumped for I had to get a console I wanted for so long

A PS4 for the the Final fantasy 7 Remake, I was so pumped waiting for the game, I got a used PS4 for it and even bought couple other games for it to get to know the console: Final fantasy 15, destiny, and later on this Persona 5 game a lot of people talked about. Hmm ok, well lets try it out and oh me oh my, a few days later:

The art style captivated me, can you tell I went all out to trying anything with my persona? I cannot believe I was my own guinea pig for these sorts.

Going around some friends and they will tell you that I used this pfp quite a lot back then, as well as updating it with a new oc I had come up with

A tale in due time will be told about this gal.

well, it was set and forth that this was me, my persona, this glaceon was who I was. People loved it, my friends really liked it, and I had a blast having this first pure year of digital art only. Meeting new friends, and admiring their art. Having old friends come back, and even losing a few others on the way. During the time of june, to July I was rapid about drawing my persona in many ways, short, tall, anthro, feral

even metallic.

But there come some time I did not grew tired of. But a little worried that I had to rely on a franchise for my own identity, of course there is nothing wrong for those doing it. But reflecting on myself, back then when I wanted this art career to happen, I wanted to go all out letting out my imagination with my own creations. I had to make the decision, it was time to move on...

...To a new art program and new drawing tablet

No, it wasn’t that. I had to branch out from this Glaceon, but keep my identity, my legacy of this persona in check, but with a new coat of paint of course. did not take a long time before choosing that I had to use a real life animal as inspiration for this change. Something at least close to it, ah yes of course! the inspiration of the Glaceon was an arctic fox, well those are some good stepping stones to begin with so what happened one day is that I began sketching, not before saying good bye to this old self that helped me begin. It was weird, this is me but it was old me?

Tested the new Brushes from this amazing program called Clip studio paint, and I gotta say I love the program. Sincerely the best choice I made to leave Photoshop for this.

At last, this is it. the new Me!

Familiar looking isn’t it,baby steps we can say.

I cannot blame the people for calling my new persona a “Glaceon-alike”

I headed to the right direction stepping away from it, but it was hard to let go

new program, new tablet, new me. the later half of 2020 went onto a lot of changes with myself, the chibi small version did not make me happy to make anymore, I was losing the touch and with the few comments I got of looking like a “powerpuff girl look a like” did set me off to do a drastic change I am thankful to do. This new me had some weird phases, don’t we all tho?

where else to brainstorm than back to the traditional old ways. Now, you may see this and ask what was I thinking when making this. the order of when i started and finish goes as: Top right: ok what if it was feral, nah nah scratch. Top left: Can I still make it cute with a round face and features I had from before? ew no! that looks scary Bottom right: lets make it more natural and wow hey! yes yes yes! this looks hundred times better. Bottom left: It is time I go all out and make it humanoid, it was how I found myself enjoying drawing most things but still did some anthropomorphic things. I was just not the best of it.

Back to digital and.... Amazing, I really out did myself this time, lets go for it, lets keep going with this

I even got a cool sword too!

My practice continued from here, the second half was great and fun. New persona got me in a place where I was happy with and through October and December I was having a blast with the more possibilities with it. I went on to practice with even more suggestive things after a life drawing class I took, proportions mattered to me and with this new persona I went out to make more better looking proportions that were attractive and stylish.

This persona was great, and I managed to make so much of it. even Drawing the more suggestive stuff had left me with an answer for this persona. Just make it gender fluid, my selection for this character being male or female made me so tired I did not know why I just made it gender fluid since the beginning. My mood swings for this character, and I can’t resist drawing it either way. Was I finished? of course not, this persona still had some work around to do. The hair became a pain to make to keeping up with consistently.

2020 ended, with a year of exciting new things coming for this new year. I went through quite a lot in my life and my art career took a shaken with this new digital life style, my persona became the identity I saw myself through, something im happy with drawing to represent Me.

That isn’t to say that I gave up on drawing Me Me.

I drew who I hope to be, and will use this from time to time, nothing fancy but something.

It has been a year already since I began identifying myself with this persona from last year from now. ever since I sketched that doodle in class, it has been a happy trip through memory lane writing it and I am happy how things turned out. 2021 is what I hope to be as good as 2020 was (by that I mean drawing only of course) In 2021 one more change was made that had made me just as happy to continue on with.

I got more hair! as crazy as it is yes. More hair, and a different front style has been to this day what I been using.

I even made a discord emoji for all the warm hugs to have with my fursona!

and my first ever animation I have ever done before!!

I am always experimenting new things, and i’m proud to be an artists to go out there and leave my art out there to be noticed by anyone. The love and appreciation friends and others leave me are the best thing I could ask. I look foward to see what is up ahead, for me, my career, and Noxy.

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bow-wow-wark-wark · 3 years

Text

Hiii happy 4th hypmic anniversary, I know it's been like 3 days since the actual anniversary but *shrugs* anyways I wanted to answer the questions from this post to celebrate!! (This is going to be a long post lol, this just brings a ramble instinct in me)

1. How and when did you get into HyplMic?

I got into hypmic during the end of September/ start of October of last year, it feels like a lot of time and very little at the same time lol... so many people in the fandom have liked this for super long!! I got into it bc of someone I followed on twitter, they would talk about it sometimes and I was getting a bit sick of the music I listened too so I thought "why not expand my music taste?" Little that I know It was going to become the only thing I listened too lol. I also saw this like "a hypmic characther once said" video and I thought it was soooo funny I just had to get into it. I'm honestly surprised hypmic started in 2017 bc I was going through a god awful musical phase and knowing I could have liked it earlier in life amuses me (tho back then I thought anime was silly so it wouldn'thave happened either).

2. First impressions of the characters? Who stuck out the most?

(Another long one soz) I'm going to do most of them btw.

Buster bros: ichiro was the 1st chara I knew before I got into it, for a bit I had him mixed up with jyushi tho lmao. Tbh I didnt have a very strong opinion on him, I wasn't super into BB at the start 😅 same with jiro, I liked him the most, thought he was really cute. At the start I disliked saburo a bit lol, like he was just soooo mean and I didn't like that, also I wasnt a huge fan of new star at the start so I didnt like him bc of that either.

MTC: I had to fight a lot to openly like mtc, I felt a bit bad liking them at the start bc they're all like criminals and stuff lol. I have to be honest I think that at the start I didnt think about them like at all... the strongest impression here was Rio, he was my favorite also I thought jyuto was hilarious bc of the start of bayside smoking blues, I really liked his voice too.

Fling posse: ok so the moment I saw Ramuda I was like "this guy is evil as balls isnt he?" I was pretty right lol, I thought he was a child like saburo at the start bc hes so small, man fooled me there. I liked dice the most at the start, my 1st fanart is of him lol. I didnt have very strong opinions on Gentaro, I was surprised to find out his VA also voiced yamaguchi since I was a haikyuu fan if anything.

Matenro: Lol matenro was my favorite (still is), idk what was it but I saw all of them and I was like: great :D I dont remeber specific impressions tho.... It was almost like love at first sight lol. I remeber I really liked the fact that both hifumi and doppo had tips, I thought it was super cool.

BAT: ok so I also knew who kuuko was before I got into hypmic my actual actual 1st fanart was of him (I did it before I even knew what hypmic was like at all). I really liked him, I remember listening to gyara bam and being like "this guy rules so much", I really liked jyushi, as mentioned before I had him mixed with ichiro (they look nothing a like I dont even know how) I was super shocked to find out he was also a teen lol I was pretty happy. Not gonna lie I had no idea who hitoya was at the start (rip) I knew kuuko I knew jyushi but I didnt know him, I dont remeber being very big on him till like the dramas and getting more into hypmic bc before nothing nada.

Dotsuhon: lol I slept on dotsuhon for the looongest time, I literally only liked sasara, rosho and rei were just really there for me. Sasara was my favorite bc I loved his voice and tragic transitor gace me unrivaled latino vibes so he felt very close to me in a sense. I thought rei was a scumbag the moment I laid eyes on him.

3. Who was the first character you liked?

My 1st favorites before I found out about bat and dotsuhon where jiro and hifumi!! I really liked their voices and like over all attitude and stuff.

4. Which was the first Division you liked?

My favorite was matenro, they were just so cute and I liked how they were pretty chill and just had fun most of the time. Like how they tried looking all edgy and intimidating but they were all nice guys lol.

5. How have your favorites changed?

Not much lol my favorite is still hifumi tho know I have jyushi and Otome if were ranking on like top 3. I love all the charas now tho!!! Lol these are just my bigger ones. Division wise now my favorite is mtc, followed by bat I'm still a matenro stan tho!! All divisions have done some big growing on me so I love all of them anyways.

6. What was the first song you listened to?

The 1st song I listened to was battle anthem, I was super convinced it was the 1st hypmic song so I was surprised to hear it was division rap battle lol.

7. What's your favorite solo song?

Ghhhh this is so hard to choose... I actually like basically every single hypmic song.... if we're talking only 1t set that's easier to choose. Um that would be sensenfukoku, drops and champagne gold, I like all the mtc ones so I cant choose. Second set every single one is amazing so I cant choose either, tho at the start I disliked most of them somehow...

8. What's your favorite group song?

Ok at 1st i thought it was like an all division song but I just read it and it's just group song in general.... I love all of them but one of my biggest comfort songs is papillion so I'll say papillion. If were talking all stars songs that's easier tho: in no particular order its hoodstar (just heard the + ver and it slapped), survival of the illest+, glory or dust and hang out.

9. Which songs do you think are slept on?

Mmmmm I personally have no idea which songs people like more in general but I have seen a bunch of "my favorite hypmic moments" videos so I'll base it on that. I'll personally say any mtc song lol, in those videos theres always a surprising lack of mtc so yeah.

10. Do your favorite songs come from your favorite Division?

Yes, tho it's really no problem bc I like all songs😅

11. Objectively, who do you think is the best rapper?

I had never heard a lot of rapping till hypmic so I have no idea what good rapping is lol... I personally thinks everyone does a good job, I guess someone else can school me on that.

12. Which composers for HypMic do you listen to?

None... I honestly dont like know who composes which song.... I know very little about music and I dont look into it so I cant answer this one either.

13. If you had to get someone into HypMic with one song what would it be?

Oh :0 well I'm not very sure but if anything I think the way to go would be an all stars song bc you can get the feel of each division pretty good, then if they like that introduce them to other stuff. Of course this all depends on the person lol... my brother really likes strong songs so to him battle anthem was a good hook up... I quite personally would go for survival of the illest bc it has a good feel of the divisions and it's very silly which is a series staple.

14. Do you play ARB? Drop your friend code for people reading!

Nooooo I dont 🤧😢 I really want to but I dont think I would have space on my phone, besides idk how to download it, if you have to pay for it I dont have money and if it's only in japanese I'm learning at snails speed so I wouldnt understand it *cries a little* I have seen certain events tho, I find it funny.

15. What events are you hoping to see? What character combos do you hope will show up together?

Mmmm idk I have a post about but I'll love to see a sasara jakurai interaction, I'm pretty sure one has already happened but I want this funny man to interact with jakurai more. Some people mentioned that they would like to see more interactions between kuuko and samatoki and I agree, wheres that side of the mad comic dialogue line up? I'll also like to see hitoya and samatoki bc they're both into vintage stuff ish, like fashion wise so I think it would be interesting to see. Last I want a jyushi/jiro interaction idk of there's any but there needs to be I need them to interact!!! Or maybe saburo jyushi that would also be interesting.

16. Are you into any ships?

Yes!!! I'm a little shy talking about ships not going to lie so I don't talk about it too much lol. I like samajyu a normal amount, I also like ichikuu, jiroshi, hifudo and hitojaku. I like a lot of other ships too tho, like ot3 mtc is good so is fling posse tho my favorite is ramugen. Hypmic has a bunch of cute ships so it's hard not to enjoy most.

17. Do you have a yume/self-ships? Platonic or romantic.

Not really lol, I have considered reading self insert before but I always feel a bit embarrassed. If you do you're super poggers tho.

Ok I'll keep answering in another post bc this is getting super long and the next question is one I want to say a lot about again. Umm if you happen to see this and want to answer them too fell free to!! You can tag me if you want as well, I love seeing others opinions about like hypmic and stuff so feel free too. If you want to comment on something I said you're free to do so as well

#this is so long #km not sorry tho 😈#ok maybe a bit #this questions really bring that animal instinct in me lol #brains is being replaced by hypmic sorry #im not tagging bc #long post #ramble post #you can block the ramble tag if you dont want to see this lol #also if theres mispelling in this ignore it #i cant spell or read #this really is so long im so sorry.... ill make sure to cut the next one earlier if it gets too long

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zhansww · 4 years

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Do you think the actors from The Untamed (yibo and xiaozhan) are in romantic relationship? Or just friends? I see many opinions, but i'm new and idk any backstory or sth, idk anything about them, i don't have speculations. I want to know your thoughts? and I hope you're having a good day!

I suppose at this point, I’m more inclined to believe they are than to believe they’re not. More importantly, though, I don’t think the nature of their love really matters. They are close friends or they may indeed be lovers but either way, it’s a win for them and for anyone who supports them both. I think (most?) cp fans believe they’re real, are fully aware that they could be wrong but in case they’re right, they want ggdd to know that they are being supported. Also, just to be clear, I don’t ship them, I’m on the side of the supporters.

Regarding their “backstory” and all the speculation… this is gonna be long. Mind you, there is a lot of speculation. Like, seriously it’s so damn much. And me, I think a lot of it is reaching - which is easy to dismiss, tho. The rest is actually sensible but even among those more reasonable speculations, I find that some of them just don’t seem important. Everyone makes that distinction for themselves, tho, I guess. Anyway, here goes: the (supposedly) first time they met was on the variety show Day Day Up. Yibo is a host on that show and Zhan-ge, with his group X Nine, was a guest in March 2017. They both talked about that in interviews and said that they didn’t leave an impression on each other back then. The (supposedly) next time they met was before they started filming CQL - which was filmed from April to August 2018. Let me direct you to this comparison interview at this point. The first one is from July 2018 and the second one musta been filmed no more than a month later. They talk about the first time they met and their first impressions when they started working together. While working on CQL, they used their free time to play games or eat together and also to go out. There are photos of them, going out to eat, too. Either just them or with other cast members. They spent both of their birthdays together that year. They were still on set on August 5th - there’s this behind the scenes video of it. And on October 5th, Zhan-ge had a concert to attend and Yibo was in the same city or a near one, I don’t recall, and he visited gg together with XL. Gg uploaded photos of them on his weibo that evening. In July 2019, they started doing a lot of interviews, attending variety shows and all that to promote CQL. During the fanmeeting on 190712, dd got asked to dance and gg got asked to sing. Gg sang Kepler by his favorite singer Stefanie Sun and changed the lyrics from “I became a star” to “I fell in love with a star”. On 190715, gg was a guest on DDU again, this time alone as a friend of Yibo’s. There is a lot from 190729 I could mention but I’ll just give you my personal favorite. When asked to describe the summer of CQL in three words, dd said “zhenqingshigan” which essentially means to say he wasn’t acting but in fact portraying his real feelings. I still can’t tell if he was teasing or being bold but you can watch that whole interview here, it’s at 6min. On 190810, their episode on Happy Camp was released along with fans, releasing their fancams which made bxg theorize that the Gucci ox-head necklace that Yibo has been wearing since June 2019 was given to him by gg. I wrote about that theory in detail before, here. On 190831, this happened. Fun fact on that note; Yibo used to always just use his phone for games, according to himself. But when he got asked last July what he couldn’t live w/o outside of his hobbies, he said his phone and specifically mentioned wechat. In 2019, gg and dd’s schedules didn’t allow them to spend their birthdays together but they both made weibo posts, congratulating e/o. On 190921, during the fanmeeting in Bangkok, before they started playing games dd told gg to take care of his waist - which was kinda hilarious cuz during the previous fanmeeting in July, Yibo got mad at the MC for making a comment about Zhan-ge’s waist. Guess he’s the only one who’s allowed to comment on his gege’s waist, hmmm. On 191101/02, they attended the CQL concerts in Nanjing which were the final events for their drama. On 191108, Yibo’s company released court documents, suing six antis for slander. Five of those were XZ fans and Yibo antis and the sixth was anti bjyx (their cp). On that same day, before those news broke, gg changed his weibo settings, presumably so that no one could dig through his weibo to use anything against him. Also, C fans speculated that dd musta paid weibo to keep gg’s name out of it cuz when the topic of the lawsuit started trending, gg’s name wasn’t mentioned. The theory here is that dd and gg did this tgt. Or else, dd did it for gg since gg himself can hardly do anything against people who claim to be his fans but hate seeing him near Yibo. Either way, gg musta changed his weibo setting cuz he knew what was being made public that day. The way I see it, they were basically working tgt to get rid of people who don’t like them tgt which would go to show that w/e they have is smth that they intend to make last. On 191110, they performed at the Singles Gala concert and afterwards, they supposedly went out to eat together. There are no photos of that, though, we only have the words of an employee from the restaurant they ate at. On 191116, gg attended Bazaar’s charity night. He received this bouquet from them. He also had to film a short video about love, this one. Assuming his answers are genuine and he was not just trying to be poetic, here is bxg’s theory on that: when? - when I woke up, where? - in my dream ~ gg wrote in a weibo post and also said in an interview that the summer of 2018, of filming CQL felt like a dream to him and when they finished filming, it was like he woke up from that dream. So if the “dream” he’s referring to here is the same, he’s basically saying that he met his love during the filming of CQL and he fell in love after the dream, ie the filming, ended. What? - I love your eyes the most ~ this isn’t smth that gg ever said about Yibo but there is this one time when they got asked what’s most handsome about e/o and he replied that Yibo is handsome everywhere. Who? - you’re the one I love most, You? - loving you allowed me to be my most extraordinary self ~ gg said that filming CQL changed him, that he is actually an introvert but he’s gotten out of his shell thanks to that role. He attributed that change to the character he played but I suppose, it’s not a far fetch to think the people he worked with helped change him, too. And as far as we know, the one he spent the most time with was dd. On 191228, both gg and dd attended the Tencent Awards. Afterwards, they were seen leaving together, that is their cars left tgt. The next day, dd had to catch a flight at midday. Plus, gg waited until 3pm to make this oasis post of his breakfast with the caption “simple happiness”. The kadian of that time - 15:18 - has “Wang YiBo” in it. (If you don’t know what kadian is, I made a very lame attempt at explaining it here.) On an episode of Our Song, Zhan-ge sang part of a love song in which he changed the lyrics again. From “the moment the wind blew was full of loneliness” to “the moment the wind blew past your face full of loneliness”. In a later, special episode of Our Song, Zhan-ge sang a bittersweet love song and changed the lyrics so that instead of singing it for s/o older - as in the original - he was singing it for s/o younger. On 200111, gg and dd attended Weibo Night, an award show that is watched by a lot of higher-ups, ie potential future employers lol. Gg was, compared to all other occasions, pretty distant with dd while dd behaved normally - which convinced a lot more people (me, included tbh) that they have to be more than friends. The way gg behaved just made it seem like he was hiding/protecting what they really have - which he obv won’t need to do if they are just friends. There’s always a lot of talk about their clothes which usually doesn’t seem significant to me - except for this shirt and this jacket. Dd wore those years ago but gg was seen with that shirt only in Oct 2019 and with the jacket only in January 2020. They’re not being produced anymore and gg was never seen in those before. There are also speculations about dd, having gifted gg limited edition Nike shoes and a biker jacket (that is only available for motorcyclists such as dd himself) or about gg, having given dd his pink hoodie (he used to not like pink). There are also a lot more examples, regarding the kadian - but it’s too much, uff. All I can give you is this shallow summary. I tried to be objective (lol) but… I’ve been following bxg’s theories for months now. There aren’t even that many theories that leave me shooketh but whenever one did, I would just try to dismiss it which usually meant believing it’s a coincidence. However, there is apparently a limit to the amount of things I can dismiss as coincidences before I stop believing they’re coincidences. All this being said, I am obv not certain. It’s just a belief. What I do know is that gg and dd are genuine friends and by God, that is already beautiful enough~

Thank you and I hope you’re having a good day, too ^-^

#yasminedragon #ask #我们

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minyoongislaysme · 3 years

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I agree with anon that dynamite and butter are specifically targeted for the US market. They released two Korean albums last year that still had the BTS essence. The number of those songs compared to just these two US-targeted songs should be a significant indicator that they aren’t losing their touch. And of course you should be skeptical of the US market. Life goes on, a full Korean song, went number one on Billboard but yet received no radio play like dynamite did. The US market in general is not known to enjoy deep lyrics, let alone ones in a different language. Especially an Asian language. I just think fans are over criticizing them about these two songs. They haven’t lost touch. BTS and BigHit are smart and know marketing, and different countries have to be marketed differently with different sounds. It’s not a surprise the English songs are doing well in America. And it’s not a surprise this is how they are now choosing to market in America when they’ve done so many comebacks in American shows before and did not get the same success as with dynamite bc those songs were in Korean.

Everything you said are facts.

edit: Even tho we can’t say if they lost touch or not, the time will show. There are too many layers to creativity to judge it by 2 songs however their music did change a lot since 2017 but that’s normal.

#ask #anon

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ineed-to-sleep · 3 years

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Get to know me tag

Tagged by @rosewoodcasket thanks for the tag c: (sorry for taking so long, I almost forgot to do this ghskgjh)

Name/nickname: Emanuele, but it usually gets shortened to Manu or Neli

Gender: I don't know actually kfkgkfkfk I'm questioning a lot rn but currently I identify as a cis girl

Star sign: pisces sun and scorpio moon

Height: 5'4(?)/168cm

Time: 7:37 AM(I woke up in the middle of the night and didn't manage to sleep again fjgjkgkg)

Birthday: March 7

Favorite bands: Florence + the machine, Massive Attack, Carne Doce

Favorite solo artist: IAMX I guess. I don't listen to a lot of solo artists I think? From what I can see on my spotify at least fkgkvkkg

Song stuck in my head: none atm

Last movie: Jennifer's Body

Last show: Rupaul's Drag Race(I'm watching season 13)

When did you create this blog: I decided to look it up and I’ve had this one since 2015. I had another one before since like 2012 but I think I made a new one bc I changed emails

What do I post: mostly I reblog stuff and post my art. Sometimes I make a couple of posts where I say things and then spend like a week in silence fkgkkgkg this used to be just a reblogs blog, like I think my first actual post was in 2017 when I was playing The Arcana and I posted a couple of drawings, followed like 50 people in the fandom and disappeared a month later

Last thing I googled: climq(I was checking the weather and made a typo but google picked up on it anyway)

Do I get asks: like once in a blue moon. I like getting them tho bc I love a free pass to ramble fkkfkf

Why I chose my url: I've got a really bad sleep schedule since like forever and I struggle to sleep a lot. I wanna change it tho to something that's short so I can mb watermark my art, but I still have to come up with one

Following: 283

Followers: 354. I’ve only started posting frequently last year so this is mostly people in the VTM fandom who followed me bc vampires dhsgfglf

Average hours of sleep: l o l²

Lucky number: 7 bc it's the day I was born so it's gotta be the best number of all the numbers uwu

Instruments: I really admire people who can play them, but I’m definitely not one of them

What am I wearing: t-shirt and pajama shorts

Dream job: not sure tbh. Something to do with art? I consider doing animation and comics a lot or making concept art. I'd love to do something of my own someday. Or maybe I'll drop all of that and become a psychologist. Anyway I'm still figuring that one out

Last book I read: a Bukowski poem book I got from my dad. I'm not a big fan of Bukowski as a person honestly but I like some of his poems

Favorite food: I'm not sure, I like almost anything with pasta and/or a lot of garlic

Nationality: brazillian

Favorite song: this one is impossible I can't choose either

Top 3 fictional universes: VTM, Fallout and TES

So I'm supposed to tag 30 people but I don't wanna tag ppl I don't even know ckkfkfkf I'm too shy for that I'm sorry. If anyone wants to do this consider yourself tagged by me <3

#tag game

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darth-bagel · 3 years

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30 Questions Tag Game

Tagged by: @mercurypilgrim. Thank you a bunch 💙✨

Rules: Answer 30 questions and tag 5 blogs you are contractually obligated to know better.

Name/Nickname: Well, Bagel is self explanatory, but my friends usually just call me Molly.

Gender: Female--but i’m feeling more and more comfortable with skewing towards genderfluid

Star sign: Cancer ♋

Height: 5′0″ (yes. im p smol)

Birthday: June 29th. And my favorite way to spend it is by playing dnd with my friends *stares suspiciously at 2021*

Time: As I write this, it’s 2:41 PM. I got home early from work and I’m gonna make dinner and play swtor. Two days off, finally~

Favorite bands: I listen to a looot of music, so it’s a huge mix, also just a few songs from most artists but-- so uh, the best indication of my favorites are my character playlists. It’s all over the place. So like, Dire Straits, Panic! At The Disco, Fall Out Boy (just asserted itself with 5-6 songs and stayed) The Score.

Favorite solo artists: Also see above. But: Hozier. Possibly the only solo artist I know and listen to every single song from.

Song stuck in my head: currently? The entire Hozier (Special Edition) Album. I brought it on myself by listening it to sleep.

Last movie: Shawshank Redemption, last week I had a movie morning. I watched Green Mile just before it. It was a day tm.

Last show: I’m still slugging through iZombie, like 4th time. I’ll finish it one day damn it.

When did I create this blog: Good question. Somewhere last year, late summer? At least the darth-bagel one. My main was around since like, 2017? I was nearly an adult before I discovered tumbler xd

What do I post: random swtor things, but mostly just a lot of screens and my army of oc’s. also ramblings, and writing. i try to keep it all swtor oriented tho.

Last thing I googled: okay, it was ‘tresor berlin coins’. some delivery guy dropped few pink plastic coins with “tresor berlin” on it and i was very curious. it’s a night club with underground music and techno-- now we all know.

Other blogs: my main blog a.k.a @elvhenyoung . I have AO3, there’s nothing on it yet. and that’s most of it.

Do I get asks: I do! I am working on them, slowly. Maybe not a huge amount but they, accumulated on me. I have so much writing to do xd

Why I chose my url: So. I am working in a bagel shop, it’s my third year at this point-- and one day I just made a joke about a Darth Bagel sandwich we could make-- we never did. But the name stayed with me. So. Now I am a Darth Bagel. (I started calling my one other coworker a Grand Moff Bagel so. we are on brand)

Following: 712 (that’s a lot o.o)

Followers: 65.

Oh wow, hellow there! 💙✨

Average hours of sleep: I try to do 8 hours, bc work. I am still v tired all the time. I could use more xd

Lucky number: Idk. But 13 seems appropriate.

Instruments: I tried piano, but eh. I like singing tho, I’m not good at it, but I like it.

What am I wearing: Layers. It’s like -14 C today. But I just got back from work so I have some black pants, Leia t-shirt, sweater and a hoodie. I’m probably gonna change into something more comfy soon.

Dream job: I don’t know. This job I have is not so bad--my boss is an insufferable ass, but it pays well enough.

I once wanted to have my own cafe tho? With games and dnd and ungodly amounts of good tea. But for now I’ll just settle for a stable job that doesn’t drive me mad.

Dream trip: I’d love to visit all my friends in America one day. And see some of the cities as well, although at this point I do have friends all over. So, uh. I’ll make a list one day XD

Favorite food: things with cheese. and spicy. idk, i just like food.

Nationality: Polish.

Favorite song: NFWMB by Hozier. I am predictable yes, it just reminds me of things.

Last book read: Dragon Age: The Calling by David Gaider. But I also have the Prequel Trilogy Novelization started-- i’ll get to it eventually.

Top three fictional universes I’d like to live in:

1. SWtOR (duh, I’m gonna bunk on Sylvas's ship)

2. Dragon Age (yes, i know, shh)

3. Can I like... Critical Role’s Tal Dorei?

Tagging: @chaoticspacelesbians @thedinalixlegacy @sith-nb @blueburds @ajoloart (no pressure from this bagel, so only if you’re comfortable~)

#tag meme #get to know me questions #kinda. sorta.#this was interesting!#thank you for tagging me!#bagel about bagel

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in-this-body-of-mine · 3 years

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To The Bone (2017) - Analysis and Charting

Let’s go! I’m NOT excited because life is hard but what better way to distract myself than to do this kind of shit. No one cares, anyways.

Since this is the first one, let me tell you what we’re gonna do here. I’ll include the IMDB summary, a summary with spoilers, the placements in the chart, we’ll go over each item (also, spoilers abound) and finally my review and final thoughts. Yes, it’s gonna be long. Read at your own risk.

IMDB summary: A young woman, dealing with anorexia, meets an unconventional doctor who challenges her to face her condition and embrace life.

Summary with spoilers: Lily Collins plays Ellen/Eli and from the start of the movie she is on the brink of her disease. She was just kicked out of a recovery center and she gets an appointment with a ~cool unconventional doctor~ played by Keanu Reeves. She goes into ANOTHER inpatient treatment home to be treated by him. Shit happens, she seems to be getting better somehow, but then she spirals down, runs away, and after a... near death experience (I wish this was an euphemism) she decides to try recovery again and goes back to the treatment home. That’s where the movie ends.

Chart placements!

Now for each item:

White: Ellen or Eli is played by Lily Collins, who once played Sandra Bullock’s daughter in that movie were she was a Karen. It doesn’t get whiter than that.

Female: She changes her name to Eli mid film (which is how I’ll be calling her here bc we respect chosen names in this household) but she still seems to identify as female and be referred to as such, so here we have it. We do have a guy in the treatment home, but we’ll come back to him later.

Teenager/Young adult: I’m pretty sure she is 19 but every review I see says she’s 20. Either way, she dropped out of college even though she just started it. The actress, however, was 28 at the time the movie was released.

Wealthy/seemingly well-off: Her family has the money to send her to inpatient a bunch of times, and they make a point to mention how they have connections so she didn’t have to wait in line to see this new doctor. Case closed.

Skinny actress from the start: As we know, Lily Collins is already thin and she did struggle with anorexia in the past. Why, however, did she lose weight for this movie? They said it was her decision “to make the character more authentic”. As if not being skin and bones wouldn’t be enough. As if eating disorders don’t come in every size. They shouldn’t let her. The need to shock people is a very dangerous sign to me.

No distinctive personality or hobbies/interests: I’m glad Eli has a thing she loves. It’s not super present, but it’s there, and it’s plot relevant. She loves art and in the story, she had a tumblr (look, it’s us!) where she shared drawings related to her ED and a girl liked her drawings so much that, when she killed herself, she mentioned Eli by name in a note. But that isn’t really explored too much and I kind of got disappointed by that.

Good student: We don’t really know about that... and I don’t think it matter, it’s ok.

Seemingly irrelevant love interest: Why? Just why do we need Luke? Luke is the only guy in the home, and we can SEE that he’s only there to be Eli’s love interest. He wasn’t needed. None of the important plot points have anything to do with him. Make her date a girl. Make her date NO ONE. This is about eating disorders. She could have closer friends in the house. Why was this necessary. Her whole speech about how love is a lie could come from a friendship but no. They had to shove pretty white boy there.

Daddy issues (sometimes coupled with mommy issues): I find this extremely funny but her dad isn’t in the movie. At all. He’s alive and well, but he makes a point to never come home when Eli is even awake. I don’t think they cast an actor for that. As for mothers, she has three, and it’s a trip. Her stepmom on her dad’s side is very out of touch but she wants what’s best for Eli, but she really hates Eli’s biological mom. Bio mom, in turn, is described as a “bipolar lesbian” and the stereotypes are just... ugh. Bio mom has a wife and she is a bit weird too. They sent Eli to live with her absent dad bc “they couldn’t deal with it anymore”. This brings us to a great scene where we can see Eli shrinking in her seat and when the psychiatrist asks her what she is feeling she says “I’m sorry I’m not a person anymore. I’m a problem.” And that’s great to see. But at the same time, I hate that her whole issue in this movie seems to come from her family and anorexia is just a thing that happened, with some vague references to control.

*Triggering event*: We never see it and it’s okay - but I kind of wanted some more explorations of motives because we have ZERO.

Anorexia as diagnosis: As I always say, what is even the point of making a cool looking movie about EDs if your protagonist is not only anorexic, but also terminally anorexic? Ugh. That’s the only portrayal of anorexia that happens in media and I’m fucking tired.

Checklist of habits (manual for those looking for one): I mean, I mark this down but as I always say: everything is a manual if you’re looking for one. But if you’re doing more than not eating or purging or exercising I’ll judge it as a new tip. A lot of us already thought of/did most of them probably. But the marking remains.

Inpatient treatment (or extended hospital stay): As I said, she is kicked out of one treatment center and goes straight into another. What fucks me up is that the movie HAS other characters with other diagnosis, but we never see anything about them. We don’t see their journey. We only know Luke is a dancer bc he is the love interest. We only know Megan is pregnant and then she’s not bc this sends Eli in a spiral. We only know Kendra is not straight bc she makes a joke about it (and Doctor Beckham follows with a horrible joke about conversion therapy). Did you notice Ciara Bravo was in this movie? I didn’t on first viewing. She has like two lines. The whole movie is centered around Eli and every scene in the house feels like all the other patients only care about her too.

Emotional tipping point: Megan loses her baby and for some reason this affects Eli. Luke kisses Eli and for some reason she’s pissed. At that point, I was annoyed. She has a bad session with Doctor Beckham who basically tells her to grow a pair and stop complaining (which is insensitive as a doctor, but as a person I wanted to do the same) and she decides to quit and leave. She has to go to her mother’s home and I’m supposed to care. Stepmom is mad but doctor says she needs to hit rock bottom. She weights like 70 pounds dude. Rock bottom was about ten pounds ago, next stop is a coffin, mate.

Mom hugs: And here we have the emotional turn around of the movie and it’s just... make it make sense. She goes to her bio mom’s ranch. Her stepmom # 2 tells they’ll have therapy with horses (?). Eli goes sleep in a tent and bio mom cries and says she accepts if Eli wants to die. Very supportive I guess. They have this weird bonding moment where the mom feeds her a bottle like a baby and look, if you liked that, good for you, but I don’t get what I was supposed to feel about it (but that’s mom hug #1). She goes on a hike next morning and... dies? Either way she has an out of body experience where she talks to Luke and sees how she looks - which is weird to me. Didn’t we go over this in the beggining of the movie? Didn’t we establish that she does know what she looks like and doesn’t care? But still she seems shocked and they have a cryptical conversation and she wakes up. And just like that, she’s ok now. She meets up with the other stepmom (mom hug # 2) and goes back to the home.

Happy ending: In the last scene Eli is back to the home and we understand she’s going to try to recover for real this time. I’m okay with that specifically, I think it would be bad if they pretended she just got better with no relapses and everything is fine, but it’s a hopeful ending. Despite the fact that we have no idea if she won’t have a fit and leave in two days and that we never know anything about anyone else and Megan, who lost the baby, never comes back. It’s fine. At that point, I didn’t expect much.

Analysis: I was hesitant to be critical bc this movie was based on the real life experiences of the director and Lily Collins. But fuck it, this is my circus and I’ll clown as much as I want. While I do understand that, I have a lot of thoughts.

Mainly, I need to say that while I understand this is her story, this is a story that was told so many times. I’m tired.

The general public that wants to defend the movie says “well you can’t tell ALL stories”, and while I agree, these people probably only saw this movie about the subject. If you HAVE (or had) and eating disorder, you probably saw tons. And they ALL tell the same story. Which is why I started that chart in the first place.

This movie does have good moments. I do like the acting, I saw people complaining about Keanu Reeves performance - but I do know these were people who disliked the movie entirely. I think his performance was great, Lily Collins performance was great, and their chemistry was great. The best scenes in the movie happened between the two of them. The one thing that I LOVED was their first interaction when he calls her on her bullshit. “You’re not thin, you scare people, and I think you like that.” YES. I never heard anyone talk about that. And I guess I’ll never will, bc the movie itself never talk about this again either. Also when she justifies the tumblr where her art triggered a girl so much, she says that she was just drawing what she knows, he calmly tells her that she can draw, but she doesn’t have to share it online tho. I liked their interactions because often ED patients are treated with silk gloves (is that the expression?) and sometimes there is a need for some though love. I also love Liana Liberato who plays her sister and that’s about it.

The problem with the doctor ends up being: what’s his method? How are you going to cure her? The method makes no sense. I don’t see the reasoning. I don’t think anyone does. And somehow it works and she goes back there.

I think my major problem with the movie is that it has the same issues every ED portrayal before it. It’s the same story again. I think it shines the most in the whole “it’s not about food, it’s about control!”. It IS about food though. For a lot of people, it is. Maybe not for this director or for Lily Collins, but for so many people it is about food. It’s about control as well, and it is possible that there is other factors related to it, but you can’t chalk it all up to a control issue and pretend it’s just whatever. If the food didn’t matter, it wouldn’t be an eating disorder.

Because of that, we have this heavy focus on her family issues and nothing to do with food. We have people trying to rationalize - maybe it’s bc your mom is a lesbian, maybe it’s bc i didn’t bond with you as a baby - and all that does is to make her lesbian bipolar mother seem like a crazy asshole and her dad seem like an absent asshole as if this is the only factor here. Give me SOMETHING. Any connection to food. Any sense. Nope. She just won’t eat bc her family is fucked up. Hoe, that’s all of us.

And I think the movie unintentionally DOES glamourize anorexia. Subtly, yes, but it does. Eli has SUCH an easy time refusing food. She doesn’t seem to think about food as much as she thinks about herself and her family and Luke and being annoying. She knows a bunch of calories and she overexercises. Idk. Not to mention that moment when Kendra asks her about purging and she says “it’s not her thing”. I mean. It is no one’s thing. No one likes it. It’s a compulsion. And if you have anorexia that severe and you are not with a feeding tube, you do eat every now and then, and you do have purging mechanisms. If she had said she prefers overexercising as a purging mechanism than to throw up, I would believe her. But the movie acts as if she just never eats ever and somehow she’s still standing. Give her a feeding tube then. It would be more believable.

I know it sounds kind of ranty, but my point here is: this extremely anorexic girl, that looks like a sack of bones, and gets that by never eating and doing crunches all the time, it is the wet dream of a fatphobic society with a 71 billion weight loss industry. This is the dreamy and frugal idea of anorexia that people have when they are deep into the illness - not when they recovered as the people involved say they did. I get that this is a very personal project. But it’s flawed. It doesn’t do anyone any favors. It just tells the same story, for the millionth time, but since this time it was in a big platform, more people saw it, and it was better done, with a better budget and with a good enough resolution so I can see every bone in Lily Collins body.

Anyway, that’s it for today. If you read all of that, thanks. Since this is Netflix, I’m assuming everyone saw, but the other movies are out there and if you need liks, hit me up. Be back soon.

#eating disorders #eds #pro ana #not pro and you know the rest #to the bone #thinspo #thinspiration #ed things #eds in media #thinsppi #anorekcia

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