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kinnbig · 3 months

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✨ Simple Gif Colouring for Beginners ✨

I wrote up my basic gif colouring process for a friend recently, but a couple of people here mentioned they'd also find it helpful! so, as requested, this is a beginner-friendly walkthrough of the way I colour my gifs :) it's aimed at brand new gif makers with no prior experience with photoshop or photo editing.

when I first started gif making I found colouring and photoshop in general suuuper daunting, so I've tried to simplify everything here as much as possible. hopefully this will be relatively easy to follow and not too intimidating!

a couple of things to begin with:

I'm only talking about colouring here - this is not a full gif making tutorial. I've linked to some of my favourites of those here!

I personally like to make bright, 'clean' looking gifs with vibrant but natural colours, so that is the style of colouring this tutorial is geared towards. most of gif colouring is subjective and about personal taste - the only thing that I'd say is possible to get wrong is skin tones, which I talk about a lot in this guide.

as I mostly gif Thai dramas, most of the advice is geared towards colouring for East Asian/South East Asian skin tones - but the techniques should be fairly universally applicable (and here are some tutorials that talk about gif colouring for other skin tones).

I'm not an expert! I'm not claiming this is the best or the only way to colour gifs - it's just how I do it.

this post is very image-heavy. if the images aren't loading (or the gifs are running slowly or cutting/looping weirdly), then try viewing the post in its own tab (rather than on the your dash or someone's blog) and refreshing the page.

okay, full walkthrough beneath the cut!

contents:

1. intro a. natural gif colouring goals b. very very basic colour theory 2. super simple colouring (the essentials) a. curves b. selective colour (and skin tone correction) c. hue/saturation d. saving and reusing colouring e. another simple colouring example 3. other adjustment layers a. brightness/contrast b. levels c. vibrance d. colour balance e. channel mixer 4. troubleshooting a. curves b. saturation 5. fin!

1. intro

the colouring part of gif making can be super overwhelming, especially if (like me when I first started!) you're completely new to photoshop and/or have no experience with colour theory or photo/video editing.

if you're opening photoshop and making gifs for the first time, I highly recommend getting used to making a few basic, uncoloured gifs to begin with. just to practice, rather than post anywhere (though you can always come back and colour them later if you want) - but it'll make the rest of the process much easier if you're already beginning to get used to working in timeline mode of photoshop. give yourself a bit of time to practice and get a feel for things like how many frames you tend to like in a gif, where you like to crop them for the best loop, what kind of aspect ratio you like etc* - so that you're not trying to navigate all of that for the first time on top of everything else!

* frames: for me between 60-90 frames is ideal, but 40-120 frames is the absolute min-max I'd personally use in a normal gifset loops: for the smoothest loops, try to avoid cutting someone off mid-movement or mid-word if possible. aspect ratio: for full-size (540px) gifs, I tend to go for either 8:5 (slightly 'skinnier' gifs), 7:5, or 5:4 (particularly big, thick gifs lmao)

✨ natural gif colouring goals

part of what can be so daunting about starting gif making is not knowing where to start or what you want to achieve. this is definitely something that gets easier with practice - the more gifs you make, the more you'll get a feel for what kind of look you like and the more instinctively you'll know how to get there. it also helps to see if any gif makers you like have made "before and after colouring" posts - these can help with getting a sense of the kinds of changes made through gif colouring. here's one I made!

in general, I like to make my gifs bright and 'clean' looking, with vibrant but natural colours. these are the things I'm usually hoping to achieve with colouring:

brighten dark scenes

remove muddy, yellowish lighting or filters

saturate colours

correct any skin lightening filters or overexposure

make lighting and colours as consistent as possible between gifs within a single gifset, especially gifsets featuring gifs from multiple scenes/episodes/videos

this guide is focusing on natural colouring, but of course there are many cool ways to make stylised/unnaturally coloured gifs. imo you'll need to master these basics first, but if you want to learn how to do things like change the background colour of gifs or use gradients or other cool effects, then @usergif's resource directory has loads of super helpful tutorials!

✨ very very basic colour theory

[disclaimer! I don't know shit about fuck. I do not study light or art. this is just an explanation that makes sense to me exclusively for the purposes of gif making.]

the primary colours for light/digital screens are red, blue, and green. having all three colours in equal measures neutralises them (represented by the white section in the middle of the diagram).

so to neutralise a colour within a gif, you need to add more of the colour(s) that are lacking.

in practice this usually means: the scene you want to gif is very yellow! yellow is made of red and green light, so to neutralise it you need to add more blue into your gif.

it can also mean the reverse: if you desaturate the yellow tones in a gif, it will look much more blue.

looking at the colour balance sliders on photoshop can make it easier to visualise:

so making a gif more red also means making it less cyan.

removing green from a gif means adding magenta.

taking yellow out of a gif will make it more blue.

tl;dr:

neutralise yellows by adding blue (and vice versa)

neutralise reds by adding cyan (and vice versa)

neutralise green by adding magenta (and vice versa)

2. super simple colouring (the essentials)

starting with a nice sharpened gif in photoshop in timeline mode. (these are the sharpening settings I use!)

some scenes are much harder to colour than others - it helps to start out practising with scenes that are bright/well-lit and that don't have harsh unnaturally coloured lights/filters on. scenes with a lot of brown/orange also tend to be harder.

I usually save a base copy of my gif before I start colouring just in case I end up hating it, or find out later that it doesn't quite fit right into a set and need to redo it etc.

so here is my base gif!

it's an okay gif, but it has a bit of a yellow tint to it that I want to reduce.

colouring is easiest to do in adjustment layers, which can be found under layer -> new adjustment layer - or for me they are here:

there are lots of different types of adjustment layers that do lots of different things - but for me the absolute essentials for colouring are curves, selective colour, and hue/saturation.

I also use brightness/contrast, levels, exposure, vibrance, colour balance, and channel mixer sometimes, depending on the gif - but I use curves, selective colour, and hue/saturation on every single gif.

✨ curves layer

the first thing I always do is a curves layer. when you first open one it will look like this:

first I usually click the ‘auto’ button, just to see what happens. sometimes it makes a big difference (it usually brightens the gif a lot) - but on this gif it didn’t do much.

if it had made the gif look nicer then I would have kept it and added a second curves layer on top to do the rest of these steps.

the next step is selecting the white and black points with the little eyedropper tools.

the bottom eyedropper lets you pick a white point for the gif. click somewhere super light on the gif to see what happens - for this gif, I clicked on the lampshade on the left. if it looks weird, I just undo it and try somewhere else - it usually takes a few goes to find something that looks good.

here's what that did to the gif:

then I pick the top eyedropper and use it to pick a black point by clicking somewhere really dark, again playing around until I find a black point that looks good.

here's what the gif looks like after picking the white and black points:

this can take some experimenting, but you can make super easy drastic changes to your gif just with this. in this case, the curves layer took out a lot of that yellowy tint.

and this is what the curves graph looks like now:

you can click and drag those lines to make further changes if you want - I usually leave them alone though. the colours of the lines indicate which colours have been changed in the gif - for example, you can see from that steep blue line on the graph that blue has been added to neutralise those yellows.

next I usually do another curves layer and just press the ‘auto’ button again to see what happens. usually it brightens the gif a bit more, which I like.

‼️if nothing is working: usually with a bit of fucking about a curves layer works well - but sometimes you can’t find a good white and black point anywhere, and instead your gif turns wacky colours and nothing looks good. this happens more often with very heavily colour tinted scenes :( the troubleshooting section at the end goes over some options, including starting with a levels layer instead.

✨ selective colour (and skin tone correction)

skin tones are made up of a mixture of yellow and red.

removing yellow (or adding blue or red) to a gif will make the skin-tones too red - and removing red (or adding cyan or yellow) to a gif will make the skin-tones too yellow.

adding blue to this gif with the curves layer took out the yellowy tint, which I wanted - but it also took the yellows out of Kim's skin tone, which I don’t want. so I need to put yellow back into the skin tones specifically - without putting it back into the rest of the gif.

selective colour layers let you select an individual colour and adjust the levels of other colours within that colour. you can change how yellow the green shades are, or how much cyan is in the blues, for example.

I need to add yellow back into the red tones to correct the skin tones on this gif. this is the case for most gifs in my experience - the vast majority of the time, unless a scene is very heavily tinted in another colour, a curves layer will add blue/remove yellow.

in the 'colors' dropdown, select the 'reds' section and drag the 'yellow' slider higher - this will add more yellow into just the red shades within the gif.

the amount of yellow you need to add back into the reds depends on how much yellow was taken out of the gif initially - I just play around with the slider until it looks right. if you're not sure, it helps to have some neutrally-coloured (not white-washed!) reference photos of the people in your gif to compare to.

here's the result. Kim's skin is a lot less pink toned and much more natural looking:

✨ hue/saturation

this adjustment layer lets you adjust the hue and saturation of the gif as a whole, and also of each colour individually.

I don't use the hue or lightness sliders unless I'm trying to do something more complicated with the colouring.

clicking the dropdown menu that says 'master' lets you edit the saturation of each colour individually. this is useful if your gif is still super tinted in one colour.

I thought the yellows on this gif were still slightly too bright, so I switched to the yellow channel and desaturated them slightly. (remember if you do this then you need to go back to selective colour and add more yellow into the red skin tones to balance out the desaturation!)

then I increased the 'master' saturation of all the colours to +5:

I usually find the right amount of saturation is somewhere between +5 and +12, but it depends on the gif.

‼️if the gif feels undersaturated, but the saturation slider isn't helping/is making the colours worse, try a vibrance layer instead.

done!

✨ saving and reusing colouring

you can copy and paste adjustment layers between gifs to make your colouring even across each of your gifs for one scene - so if you're making a set of multiple gifs of the same scene, or you think you might want to gif the same scene again in the future, you can save it as a psd so you can reuse the colouring again later.

each gif's colouring will then still need tweaking - different cameras/angles/shots of the same scene can still start out with slightly different colouring.

I recommend uploading the gifs as a draft post on tumblr so you can see what they all look like next to each other and catch any inconsistencies.

✨ another one! (speedrun!)

HI KEN!

the white point for the curves layer was in the window behind them.

the curves layer removes the muddy yellow tint, but again it makes their skin tones (especially Ken's) very red toned, which is adjusted by the selective colour layer.

3. other adjustment layers

imo many many gifs can be coloured really nicely with just those three adjustment layers, but some need different adjustments.

✨ brightness/contrast

pretty self explanatory!

I personally usually avoid using the 'brightness' slider because I rarely like the effect - I only tend to use the 'contrast' one.

the 'auto' button is sometimes useful though, especially if you’re struggling with the curves layer.

✨ levels

levels alters the white and black points of the gif, like curves - but unlike curves it doesn't also alter other colours.

use the sliders beneath the graph to alter how dark/light the gif is. you can slide the black slider further to the right to make the blacks darker, and the white slider to the left to make the whites lighter.

levels is a good place to start if your curves layer isn't working.

(I'm going to hit the image limit for this post lol so here are some screenshots of a table I made to demonstrate this rather than actual gifs. sorry!)

on both sides, I dragged the sliders up to where the big jumps are on the graph - this is usually a good place to start!

✨ vibrance

vibrance... makes the colours more vibrant. it's more subtle than saturation.

it's really helpful for gifs that feel grey. sometimes adjusting saturation just makes the greys kind of weirdly tinted, but a vibrance layer can fix that.

vibrance is much more subtle!

✨ colour balance

colour balance affects the overall balance of colours within a gif.

it's good for scenes with heavy tints.

I tend to stick to the 'midtones' dropdown, but you can also alter the colour balance within the shadows and highlights if you want.

✨ channel mixer

I avoided channel mixer for such a long time because it scared me. but it's great for scenes that are very heavily tinted in one colour.

basically, it works with the levels of red, green, and blue within a gif. you select an output colour and then play around with the levels of the colour you selected within each other colour.

kind of the reverse of selective colour?

so in the 'blue' channel, the levels of blue are at 100%, and the levels of red and green are at 0% - but you can impact how much blue is in the reds and greens and blues.

this tutorial explains it well - but imo the best way to get to grips with channel mixer is just to play around with it a bit (sorry)

(when I made this guide for my friend, I also made a slightly more complicated gif colouring walk-through that included using channel mixer. there isn't space to include it within this post, but if anyone is interested I could always upload it as an 'intermediate' gif colouring tutorial - lmk!)

4. troubleshooting

‼️curves

usually with a bit of fucking about a curves layer works well - but sometimes you can’t find a good white and black point anywhere, and instead your gif turns wacky colours and nothing looks good. this happens more often with very heavily colour tinted scenes :(

for example, with this base gif:

using many of the brightest points as a white point turn it wacky colours, like this:

yikes :(

some options for these cases:

try brightening the gif first with the 'auto' button on the curves layer or with a levels layer. having a brighter gif to start with can give you better options for picking a white point.

try finding an alternate, whiter/brighter white point. look for places the light reflects - on this gif, using the light on Porsche's cheekbone works well as the white point. it also helps to find places that would be white if the scene wasn't tinted - the lightest part of a white shirt is often a good place to start, for example.

skip the curves layer, and instead use a levels layer to alter your white/black points, and colour balance or channel mixer to balance the colours.

‼️over/undersaturation

if your gif (especially the skintones) is looking a little washed out or lifeless, it might be undersaturated. boost that saturation - or if that's not working, try a vibrance layer.

oversaturation is often easiest to spot in the mouths and ears of any people in a gif. if the mouths are looking unnaturally, vibrantly red, then you've gone too far with the saturation.

5. fin!

and done! I hope this was coherent helpful to somebody.

if there's anything that I've missed or that doesn't make sense pls feel free to shoot me an ask or a message and I'll do my best to help! I've also collated a bunch of additional reading/resources below.

happy gifmaking 🥰

✨ some links!

photoshop basics by @selenapastel

gifmaking for beginners by @hayaosmiyazaki

gifmaking guide for beginners by @saw-x

dreamy's gif tutorial by @scoupsy-remade (includes instructions on how to blur out burned-on subtitles or annoying video graphics)

beginner's guide to channel mixer by @aubrey-plaza

how to fix orange-washed characters by aubrey-plaza

colour correcting and fixing dark scenes by @kylos

does resampling matter? by usergif

how to put multiple gifs on one canvas by @fictionalheroine

watermarking using actions by @wonwooridul

resource directory by @usergif

#i got a couple of asks about this so i figured i'd type it up as a post #it's been sitting in my drafts for a while now though i'm so sorry omg.#i had to replace my laptop and it took me a while to get round to downloading photoshop on the new one #but i hope this is helpful!!#gif making #tutorial #photoshop tutorial #colouring tutorial #coloring tutorial #gif colouring #gif coloring #photoshop resources #gif tutorial #gif resources #userbunn #uservik #darcey.txt #darcey.gif #usergif

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amourdivine · 8 months

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𝐏𝐈𝐂𝐊 𝐀 𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐃 🦢 𝐇𝐎𝐖 𝐖𝐈𝐋𝐋 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐘 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐅𝐄𝐒𝐒 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐈𝐑 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄?

Hello, lovelies! I hope you're doing well. I bring you another romance topic today, found from the vault, forgotten in my Google Docs folder! Let me know how it resonates. If you liked this reading, please consider booking a paid reading or tipping me at @ [email protected]! xo. ♡

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none of the images are mine unless stated otherwise

how to choose your pile. take deep breaths for a few minutes & look at each and every one of the piles separately. see which one brings you to a feeling, a place or a memory. take your time and feel free to come back to it later.

♡ ♡ ♡ pick a card masterlist & information

disclaimer. this is a general reading for entertainment purposes. tarot is a divination tool & is not a substitute for medical and professional advice, nor is it meant to be taken as such. i do not take responsibility for any choice(s) made by you or others regarding my readings.

amourdivine. 2021 - 2023 © do not copy, redistribute or edit my content.

PILE 01. 🕊️

who is this person? page of wands, the sun rx, seven of pentacles rx.

This person is very, very impatient. They tend to be more immature and on the feistier side, I definitely think they’re an extrovert or someone with Leo, Sagittarius or Aries in their big three. They might rush into things and have a bit of a self-sabotaging energy to them. Honestly, I think this person underestimates themselves and act out of passion and desire, so they’re not the most careful in love. They tend to be pessimistic because they wonder why their relationships go wrong, but they can rush into situations before they’re even ready and not always be willing to put the effort and time required for things to develop. Since they’re also being represented by the Page of Wands, you might question their feelings and motives towards you because they might seem fickle, even a bit childish for some of you. They have a lot of young energy, it could be in age or simply in their nature. By the way, this is definitely a new person, not someone from your past. I’m also getting more of a masculine vibe, but it doesn’t necessarily correlate to any specific gender.

how are they truly feeling? six of pentacles, two of wands, the sun.

They see a lot of potential in your relationship with them. Like I said, this person tends to rush into things, so they aren’t super in their feelings about it, but they’re feeling very positive and they’re already wanting to make a move. This person could simply have a crush on you at first, since I don’t get any deeper feelings involved here. However, this person enjoys your presence a lot! You might have started out as friends and they love being in your presence, it turns their frown upside down. Since we also got The Sun card in the last question but in reverse, I think you make them feel more positive, happier and lighter in general. They are imagining a lot of things in their head for your future, but they feel that this connection is balanced and it could go somewhere much better than where it’s at. That’s also why they’re rushing, because they don’t want to waste any time.

what are the circumstances regarding this confession? ten of swords rx, king of wands rx, two of cups.

They’re resisting these feelings. This person might be exhausted of all their thinking and imagining before they confess to you - they can’t wait any longer. They’re going to feel restricted and that’s why they’ll take action, so they’ll be super impulsive towards you. It might come out of the blue, at a totally random moment and it could shock you, but they’ll want to make sure to make it up to you later somehow. Maybe they’ll be venting to you and at one point they might kiss you recklessly or send a risky text. They’ll probably invite you to a date (especially dinner date) later on so that they can show you they’re interested and it’s not something that they told you just for the sake of it. They might be naturally flirty towards others, which is also why they’ll want to take you out, so you know that their feelings are romantic indeed, even if they’re at a very initial stage. They’ll be very, very nervous and fidgety (lol), might also stutter a bit and seem kind of random towards you. Honestly, there’s a lot of passion and you’ll seem even more attractive in their eyes. I can’t help but feel that they’ll try and plan everything out, only to be super hasty and clumsy with their confession (aw).

additional messages: summer breeze, “easy like sunday morning,” frat party, college roommates, sapphic/wlw, silk chiffon by muna & phoebe bridgers, 6:66, 222, light blue, hazy, champagne bubbles.

PILE 02. 🐇

who is this person? five of swords, the lovers, knight of cups.

This is someone whom you might have had a disagreement with. The intensity of this confrontation likely wasn’t anything light, so you could’ve had a falling out of sorts. They have a lot of air and Gemini energy, so there’s a duality to them that can be confusing and contradicting to you, because of their sharp wit and their spontaneous nature. This person seems like a lot! Not in a bad way, but they have a very proud and stubborn personality as well. With the Knight of Cups, this is someone who had and still has romantic feelings for you, whether you’ve known it or not. Even if you didn’t have any romantic involvement with this person, they nurse something very romantic and dreamy for you. Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if this was an ex of yours, someone whom you were in a relationship with and ended things very badly. However, they’re not over you and no matter how difficult this situation must’ve been, they still love you very much.

how are they truly feeling? five of pentacles, nine of pentacles rx, strength.

It’s surprising to me that this Strength card came out upright, because they’re not actually feeling strong at all. This person might be putting up a front, honestly. They could have some significant Leo placements and they might have turned this thing into a competition of “who cares less.” Which is immature, of course, but they feel left out in the cold, like all the future they had with you was lost. Even if they’re determined to make it back to you somehow, they feel that all of their chances and options were wasted and in vain. However, since we’re talking about their feelings, I don’t think it’s true that there are no options left here. They could be stuck in a self pitying mentality and that’s also what’s making them so miserable, even if they want to make things right again so badly. This person could type it out their feelings in a billion unsent texts and still be too proud to make a move.

what are the circumstances regarding this confession? judgement, eight of wands rx, wheel of fortune rx.

Enough time will have passed you by and the dust will have settled. They’ll make this choice because I can almost hear them saying to themselves “enough is enough.” Things will feel stagnant and for some of you, you might have even forgotten or let go of this person after this time of silence. They’re going to make this call after a very long time because they’ll realize that they’ve wasted too much time agonizing over these feelings and their pain instead of solving it. I pulled another card for clarification and got the Knight of Cups again, so they’ll probably realize they’re still not over you and that’s something they need to get off their chest. Honestly, I think they’ll be much more humble and loving the next time you speak to them, not only because they want to tell you how they truly feel and show their vulnerable side, but also because they don’t really expect much out of you. They could feel that they’re out of luck and out of chances to be with you, so you’ll have to be really clear about your feelings with this person, pile two, because they’re very fearful, but they’re pouring their heart out into this confession because it’ll be anything but easy to them. Also, the Universe might have nudged them a little to make this call.

additional messages: broken strings by james morrison & nelly furtado, “i know i was wrong but i regret it now,” “i’ve been a fool,” leo, sagittarius, capricorn, gemini, “i regret what i said,” “our fight was really triggering,” sorry by justin bieber, 888, 999, 10:10, february, aquarius mars.

PILE 03. 🐻‍❄️

who is this person? the tower, two of swords, six of pentacles.

This is someone who’s been through a lot, pile three. I think they can come across as insecure or even indecisive. They may be hard to read or someone who isn’t quite your type, but since they’re your next/first partner, it’ll be a welcomed surprise. They may struggle with making decisions, especially when it comes to confessing their feelings for you, because they might’ve been through a lot of difficult moments - like I said, this Tower also makes me wonder if they’re resisting some sort of change or feeling towards you because of their own fears. However, they try their best to be balanced. I think they’re very generous, very giving and caring towards people, but they may be harsh on themselves at times. This person could be a Libra, a Taurus or a Capricorn. I feel like they’re quite stubborn and they don’t actually like to take many risks. Perhaps being in love with you is something they found quite shocking, so it might take them some time to understand it.

how are they truly feeling? king of swords, queen of cups, the hanged one.

So, I think after meditating on it for a little while, they’ll eventually evolve into a more mature, self-assured and calm energy. It may take them a while, as I said, but they’ll want to do this the right way, looking very steady and confident. This King of Swords is very logical and quite upfront, but they may be hiding their softer and more emotional side by the time they come forward. I think that the moment they confess to you, it won’t sound very emotional, but they’ll definitely be hiding this Queen of Cups underneath the King of Swords. The Hanged Man makes me think they’ll be patient with you, instead of demanding an answer right away, this person will want you to think about it, to really ponder over how you feel as well. But it also gives me the energy of someone who’s done enough contemplation over their feelings, hence why this King of Swords will come on strongly. They may seem more confident than what they actually feel, perhaps colder than intended, but they do have very strong feelings, they just don’t want to come off as too vulnerable or too emotional by the time they come clean about this.

what are the circumstances regarding this confession? page of pentacles, the high priestess, six of swords.

There’s some healing coming from this person’s end. I cannot help but wonder if this person is someone you study or work with, but in whichever case, their offer will be something small, but significant to them. It may not be a “full blown date”, like something super luxurious, but they may offer to grab a cup of coffee with you to talk about these feelings. Something more subtle rather than super out there. Even the High Priestess itself has a more lowkey energy, so it’s possible they’ll try to do it in a more private or secluded space. I think this person will want to have a more quiet one on one with you, so it doesn’t seem like it’ll be a grand gesture. You likely won’t see this coming, so by the time they confess, you’ll have to use your intuition in order to see through that King of Swords energy I mentioned. They truly just want to let you know - I don’t think they have any high expectations over this, because the Six of Swords here gives me the idea that they’ll want to heal and move forward in case you reject them. With or without you, they’ll want to embark on a healing journey and keep going either way. They might feel a sense of relief or calm afterwards, like they have finally let these feelings and secret thoughts of you out. It’s going to be something very revealing for the both of you, something which will help them progress, whether this connection progresses or not. Of course, since this is your next partner, it’ll help the both of you move forward with your relationship and develop something from there.

additional messages: libra/7th house stellium, “i’ve made up my mind”, throw it on the fire by jon mclaughlin, “my life without you is just time”, somewhere only we know by keane, “i just want to know how you feel,” “take your time.”

PILE 04. 🦢

who is this person? nine of swords, ten of wands, judgment.

I think this is someone who is always looking for “the light at the end of the tunnel.” It’s worth mentioning I am using the Vice Versa deck for your pile, so the imagery here is a little different than the original A.E. Waite deck. They’re likely a very hardworking and fierce person, but they’re also afraid of relying on others and asking for help. A little too proud, maybe? They could be an Aries or a Leo, but I’m more specifically getting Leo from this person. They’ve been through a lot, but still, they feel like life keeps throwing curveballs at them. Honestly, this person may suffer from burnout by the time you meet them, they may be a workaholic or someone very ambitious who wants to carve their own path in life. They may have had to start all over many times and have had a hard time finding their true calling in life, but they’ve begun to overcome these issues. This person can be very stubborn as well, maybe they don’t like hearing advice or asking for it somehow. I think you’ll recognize them by the way they try to tackle everything on their own and are a bit too proud to admit when something isn’t working or when they’re in the wrong, but they do mean well.

how are they truly feeling? three of cups, knight of cups, the emperor.

They might be friends with you, but the feelings are too strong for them to deny it. However, with The Emperor, it kind of confirms the fire energy for me, especially Aries as well. So they’re a little bit ashamed of how soft they truly feel for you. It’s interesting because despite wanting to look and feel in power, they just want to give you the world, even if you might reject them. This person is hopeful, though. They’ll want to look very confident and may even show off a little bit, but they want to impress you and that’s also why this Emperor is coming through. They can (and want to) give you everything you want, to be the kind of partner who honors you, someone you’re proud of. They’ve got great intentions, even though they’re not very good at communicating or explaining their feelings, they may have a little bit of a “rough edge” to them or have a very, very rational and inflexible approach about the way they feel. It’s almost like they’ll try to be very self-controlled and tough not to seem vulnerable, but deep down, these feelings are very real and they truly cherish your company. Again, I think this person will be friends with you - or at least try to remain friends before moving forward with their confession.

what are the circumstances regarding this confession? the star, queen of pentacles, two of pentacles.

They’re very hopeful! They may want to take you out somewhere fancy, give you the best of the best treatment and make you feel like a royal by their side. You may even find them to be a bit foolish? They’ll be so eager to please you, honestly. I even feel like the man in this Two of Pentacles card is juggling all things at once so he looks impressive or busy, when in fact, he’s struggling to keep up. I think this will be a very important and fancy date, something more.. official? Not something casual or anything you may take for granted. They want to make sure you’re comfortable and may even gawk at you a little bit. They find you really beautiful, pile four, that’s undeniable. There’s a lot of hope - they’re one hundred percent confident you’ll want them back (lol). I think both of you will be dressed up nicely, likely going somewhere to dine or walk? They think you’ve got everything, like you’re the full package, baby! It’s interesting that they’ll try to come off as The Emperor, but deep down I think they’ll try to find all of the ways in which they can “woo” you and make you theirs.

additional messages: “i’m worth it,” solar plexus chakra, if you want somebody by jon mclaughlin, poker face, “please notice”, the way you look tonight (cover) by shawn mendes, “can i kiss you?", fire signs, leo or aries venus/mars.

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#pick a card #tarotblr #tarot reading #pick a card reading #pac reading #tarot #tarot readings #tarot readers #tarot cards #tarotcommunity #divination #spirituality #future spouse #love reading #pick a pile #pick a pile reading #tarot pick a card #pick a picture #*

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djarinterstellar · 1 year

Text

Safe Place

Pairing: Din Djarin x fem!Reader

Summary: What starts as a night off alone escalates into some trouble in town. Luckily, when you’re employed by one of the fiercest warriors in the galaxy, backup is never too far away.

Tags/Warnings: category is- MUTUAL PINING[!!] they just don’t know it. mostly comfort/fluff. some violence in the beginning + 1 minor injury. mentions of alcohol and spice (cannabis) use. Reader is fadeddd most of the plot lmao. Protective/Soft Din 🥰 mentions of Force-sensitive Reader. also no Grogu today, it’s past his bedtime :(

Word Count: 8.6k

a/n: not me posting this on the cusp of season 3 finally premiering 💀 also this was supposed to be shorter but honestly, this thing got so out of hand so fast, idek why it drags on for as long as it does. but i was inspired by this very stoned prompt i thought of months ago with my favorite tin can babygirl and decided to finally finish it so. here we go. ✨

ps: i’m still trying out the 3rd person pov thing so lemme know if you hate it or not. also to settle any confusion amid the new szn, this takes place between s1 and 2 :)

Translation: Sen’ika = little bird

It’s supposed to be an easy night.

Mando is on a hunt and she’s been left in charge in his absence. Normally she would’ve argued coming along and you know, making herself useful as she’d originally agreed upon. But the Crest could only land so close and the additional foot travel was too long and treacherous for the Child to follow along. Plus Red trusted her enough to leave her alone with his foundling without making off with his ship and she had no other choice but to agree.

A few days had passed now since he’d departed. He estimated he’d return in about a week, so she was in no rush in waiting for him. Mando had settled them on the outskirts of town, far enough where they could lay low in peace but still close enough for her to make any emergency supply runs in town. She was left with everything she needed to care for the kid. And with specific instructions not to leave the Crest unless it was absolutely necessary.

Which is exactly what she decided to categorize this as.

The pair of double doors leading into the local cantina burst open and she stumbles back out into the streets, giggling to herself as she cradles a pair of warm cider bottles to-go in her pouch. She hadn’t planned on lingering at the bar but three drinks and a pair of shots with a group of local girls later, plans were changed. She was even invited out back to share a round of their spice joint, a generous offer she simply couldn’t refuse. She was now blissfully intoxicated and felt lighter and happier than she’d been in weeks.

The kid had finally settled in earlier and if his recent patterns served her correctly, he’d be down for the rest of the night. She was finally alone, a privilege she found extremely rare these days since joining Mando’s crew, which gave her ample time to wander into town. Was it responsible of her to leave the Crest and the kid alone? Most would argue it wasn’t, Red most of all. But he wasn’t here to say no! Plus, she had locked the ship down to keep the kid inside and protected from any potential stragglers. All goes well, she would be in and out before he woke up.

And she was confident about this because she’d already gone out just last night. Sure, she hadn’t been out this long, but again, Mando wasn’t expected anytime soon.

She liked exploring towns. It gave her a reason to not only scope out her environment, but to familiarize herself with the locals and figure out which spots in town were traveler-friendly. It was easy to wander when she was on her own, but now that she was a full-time employee, it had become somewhat of a rare treat.

It was week’s end for these particular folks, which meant most of them were out in droves tonight. She could still hear the fits of laughter and drunken serenades belting out of the cantina behind her as she walked away. The air was far cooler at night and the refreshing taste of it in her lungs gave her cloudy head the clearance it needed.

She was delightfully drunk and probably just as high, but she was conscious enough to know she needed to get back. Leaving the kid alone for a couple of hours was fine, but stretching it out any longer than that was far too much of a risk. Live music was playing somewhere from around the corner, locals dashing around her as they hopped from one cantina to another.

The energy buzzed around her like an electric current, yet she walked with a familiar ease. She felt oddly safe within the center of town. But as she drifted further into the outskirts, the street lamps dulled and the crowds thinned out. A pair of fraternal moons became her guiding light as she willed herself to remember the path back to the Crest.

And for a while, it was fine. Despite the silence, she couldn’t help but feel a bit more on edge out here alone than when she was surrounded by a bunch of drunk miners. She ignored it though, trying to tell herself it was probably the spice making her antsy. But the farther she walked, the longer her paranoia festered and itched and scratched until she realized it wasn’t the libations talking to her.

It was the Force.

She realized too late she was being followed until just before she was confronted. A Balosar male slinks out from an alleyway behind her, long and slim with his hands stuffed in the pockets of his oversized coat. She wills herself to keep her eyes straight ahead but she could hear him glide over to her side to match her stride.

“Where ya goin’ sugar? The party’s that way!” he drawled, sending an immediate chill up her spine. Shit.

“I know where I’m going,” She doesn’t look at him as she attempts to brush past him. “Have a good night.”

He reacts by slipping around her once more, this time blocking her path directly ahead. “Whoa whoa, take it easy!” His accent is thick and laced in what she can only describe as mock-innocence. “Relaax, nobody’s gettin’ hurt here!”

Her facial expressions remain unmoved, glancing up at him boredly. In reality though, her heart was hammering against her ribcage. The last thing she needed, especially right now, was unwanted attention from anybody, let alone from this total stranger. She moves to step forward but he cuts in her way, a sly grin stretching across his face.

“It’s okay baby,” Her stomach internally caved in at the pet name. “just tryna find where the cool people hang out.”

“Wouldn’t know where to point you to.” she replies flatly, straightening her back. “Excuse me.”

She attempts to move around him again, but his arm comes up to lay on the wall next to her and he leans forward to cave her in. “Where’re you from then? I’ve never seen anyone this pretty so far out here.” His free hand inches towards her face but she’s quick to turn her cheek, her jaw clenching behind her lips.

“And you never will.” she snaps back, already inching backwards.

This only prompts him to step closer, a frown crossing his slimy face. “Ey, you don’t have to be a bitch.” His tone switches almost predictably and her hand slips behind her cloak to reach for her holster.

“Back off.” she snarls him a warning with the coldest glare she can make.

He tries reclosing the gap between them again. “C’monn honey- ”

“NO.” Her fight-or-flight instinct kicks in and she fully pushes her weight on him to shove him down. Her stand off is cut short though when he finds his balance and pushes back. She’s thrown back against the wall and before she can even process it, a pocket knife is jabbed against the skin of her neck.

Shadows move over his shoulder in her peripheral vision and when she follows them, 3 more Balosars creep out of the dark, hovering behind the first one in a sort of half circle around her.

It’s at this moment that she realizes 2 distinct things. Firstly, she doesn’t recognize them. In her 4 or so days since they touched down, she’d observed the villagers in her down time and gathered a very broad consensus of who was who— and in that time, she hadn't seen any Balosars in this town, which told her they were also just passing by. Secondly, she thinks as she watches the other 3 close in, she’s tangled herself in a very complicated web here. It was 4 against 1, with a notable size difference amongst all of them. She couldn’t see straight, was hilariously underprepared for a fight given the company she was currently keeping, she was fucked up and only growing more inebriated as her vices soaked into her bloodstream, and she was alone. No baby, no bar friends, no civilian witnesses.

No Mando.

Fuck.

A strangled little noise escapes her throat when the knife is pinched further into her skin and she curses herself at how whimpered it comes out.

“Fine, since you wanna do this the hard way..” the first Bathosar sneers almost mockingly, his frame towering over her own.

She’s curling into the overcast of her cloak when her fingers finally find the handle of her blaster, skin digging tightly into the cool of the metal. She looks into his eyes and sucks in a deep breath before the tension snaps.

Fuck it.

In an instant, a shot zaps out, aimed directly at his foot. He cries out when it makes contact, and she smashes her blaster across his temple when he folds over in distracted pain, his knife clattering to the ground. Despite her inebriation, she can sense the others jumping into action and she points her gun at the closest one, shooting him right in his chest before he can get any closer. She doesn’t have time to watch his body crumple to the floor as she turns to shoot at the other two, a rapid succession of plasma bolts whizzing out almost desperately. Her second target barely misses her line of fire and as she follows his trail, she fails to block the third Balosar from tackling her into the wall. She cries out as he harshly elbows her wrist to disarm her, the blaster forced out of her hand.

“Grab her!” She hears her attacker hiss from above her before she’s suddenly snatched from behind. Her arms are pinned to her sides as she’s grabbed and lifted several inches off the ground.

Her heart is pounding, blood pumping into her ears as she yells out. Her feet start kicking furiously in an instant, every functional instinct left in her telling her to fight back. “Get off me!” she shrieks, flailing until her boot finally connects with a knee. She hears him yelp behind her, his grip slipping. She jabs her elbow fully into his nose, sending them both tumbling.

Two separate voices are shouting incoherently above her in a blend of confusion and exasperation. She can see her blaster just feet away and she starts crawling, scrambling in a desperate effort to reach it, until she’s yanked backwards by her ankle.

“Pin her down.” she hears one of them growl maliciously from above.

Her stomach turns as she’s dragged back into her assailant’s grip, trails of her fingernails digging into the dirt floor. She feels her brain short-circulating in its panic so she resorts to one last defense tactic.

She starts screaming.

And it’s a shriek that’s piercing and raw and louder than she was planning it to be. But she screams anyway in hopes that anyone within the block can at least hear her, even if it’s another drunken villager on their way home.

“Shut her up!” A second voice hisses hastily, hands scrambling to smother her.

“NO- ” She bites down on the first hand that touches her face and only squeals louder, her pitch jumping another octave in her hysteria. She starts kicking again, nails scrambling in the dirt for a spare rock, a glass shard, anything physical to grab in her defense. When her palms only fill with clumps of dirt and sand, she clenches her fists around them anyway.

What started as a dreamy, whimsical high has quickly soured into a debilitating panic trip. Rather than floating in euphoric bliss, she feels tranquilized, her focus and motor skills severely hindered and overpowered by these 3 much larger adversaries. Her stomach is turning over under her ribs, waves of nausea churning with her rising panic. Her heart is pounding too fast she feels, and her lungs are tightly clenched despite how fast she’s gasping for air.

She doesn’t realize she’s crying until she’s flipped on her back, the welling tears spilling down her temples. Before she can scream again, a balled up handkerchief is forced into her mouth. Two of them meanwhile, are putting their full weight down on her to pin her limbs to the ground. The first one is limping over to them, his knife recovered in his hand while patches of fresh blood trail behind his injured foot. She audibly whimpers now, wriggling in their grasp like a drowning fish.

“You know.. I was gonna let you go after all this,” he starts, turning his blade over in his hand as if to inspect it. “But that was before I believed the rumors.” He pauses here, and the dread is only momentarily overwhelmed by her instinctive curiosity. “I mean- we all knew the bounty’s primary target was a Mandalorian with a green pet- ” Her stomach drops. “ -but there was no mention anywhere about his pretty little accomplice.”

She rustles again as he looms over her. “And I gotta tell ya, I didn’t think it was true at all. I mean, a Mandalorian with a business partner? And a girl at that!?” He almost laughs before he pivots. “But then we sees’ you in town, carryin’ this little guy around, and we think, maybe there’s some truth in all this, ya know?” Her stomach sinks even lower at the realization that they not only spotted her with the kid, but that they’d been watching her this whole time too.

Double fuck.

Suddenly, he’s kneeling in front of her, his injured foot tucked behind his knee, and she’s roughly sat up to face him by the snatch of her hair. “So here’s what’s gonna happen,” She grunts helplessly when his blade is pressed deeper against her neck as the three men crowd around her. “you’re gonna point me in the direction of the gremlin, you’re gonna watch us shoot his kidnapper, and then, and only then, will I finally kill you myself.”

Her brows crease in pain as she tries to pull away from his blade, but the hand twisted in the back of her hair only pushes her into it. The handkerchief is yanked out for her to answer and his head tilts to catch her eyes. “So?” he snaps. “What’s it gonna be? Now or later?”

Her eyes harden, nostrils flaring. Honestly, right now, she just wants to tell him to fuck off. It’s not like this was her first time being mugged and/or threatened, and unfortunately not while inebriated either. But this one felt pretty damn close to getting got. Her brain is already scrambling between scattered half-assed theories on how to get her out of this.

Fw-ip !

A whizzing sound passes under her and it’s so subtle, she almost doesn’t notice it. Then there’s a pause of silence that’s almost too heavy to be coming from nothing before she notices that the first guy’s eyes have blown wide open. They make eye contact and she squints, almost confused.

Suddenly, he’s thrown back and he starts screaming before she realizes he’s being yanked into the shadows by his wounded foot. She can hear the mechanical whizzing again as he’s dragged, even over his friends’ shouting, and it takes another split second for her to realize it’s a whipcord. And just like that, the Force alerts her that she’s not alone again. But instead of dread, something else flutters in her gut.

The Balosar’s screams are cut short by a single blaster shot, and she inhales a gasp of air before a chill crawls up her spine.

Two heavy, familiar boot steps clunk in front of them as its owner steps into the dim lighting.

She exhales and pure euphoria blooms in her chest.

He’s towering over them, broad shoulders stiff and gloved hands clenched into iron fists, his armor gleaming like a beacon even in the cover of night.

She can’t stop the smile that’s spreading across her face. “Mando..-”

“Kill him!” One of the Balosars yanks her back into his chest as his friend scrambles to his feet, blaster already in hand. She squeaks and the sound seems to snap Mando into full action. She’s yanked to her feet as his arm wrangles itself around her neck.

From here though, she can see her Mandalorian in his full glory. She watches him stalking towards his prey, blaster bolts bouncing off his beskar like raindrops as the other guy empties his clip into him. And of course, when that doesn’t work, he headbutts him to stun him before striking. Despite the weight of his armor, Mando moves like a viper and is just as deadly.

She feels herself being dragged away and she grunts in protest, trying to wriggle out of his grasp. It’s then she remembers one hand is still clenched. Without a second thought, she swings backwards, smacking the guy right in the face as she temporarily blinds him with a fistful of dirt.

“Agh- !” He shouts and she slips out his grip. She starts towards Mando, but then she’s grabbed by her hair and is yanked backwards with a cry. “Fuckin’ bitch- !” She hears him snarl before the back of his hand strikes her directly across her cheek.

She drops against the brick wall behind her, his body towering her, but from the corner of her eye, she spots Mando. The second guy is now motionless on the floor and his helmet is fully trained on the last one. And based on the swell of his chest and how hard he’s breathing now, she doesn’t need to gauge anything else; he just saw what he did and he’s furious.

He crosses the space between them and drags him backwards and away from her. The Balosar starts fighting back but he's quickly overpowered as he’s disarmed with an unnatural twist of his wrist. Mando spins him around and lands a punch directly into his face once, twice, thrice and then a final fourth blow before the guy falls to his knees. And it’s there that he goes for the kill, grabbing his head with both gloved hands and snapping his neck with an enraged grunt and a sickening crunch.

She watches the final body crumple to the floor with blown out eyes and her jaw fully dropped. She’s physically shaking, she realizes, and can barely breathe, let alone stand on her own. But when Mando finally turns to her, his chest rising and falling, she clings to the wall behind her to gather herself back up.

“What the hell happened??” Mando’s tone is harsh and agitated, even under his modulated panting. “You weren’t on the ship when I-”

He’s cut off when she runs straight into his arms. She all but collapses into his chest, arms coiled around his neck and her face smothered into his cowl. Before he can even process what’s happening, she pulls back to look up at him. “You’re earlyy!” She’s practically beaming up at him, one of her hands tracing the cheekbone of his helmet.

He’s speechless. First, a hug. And now she’s.. glad to see him? Not to mention how she’s smiling up at him with those big, adoring puppy-dog eyes. She’s never been this nice to him before, not even around the Child. “I- ” he hesitates before clearing his throat. “ -Yes. The target uh, took less time than I thought.”

This only makes her smile wider before she buries herself in him again. This time, her arms slip around his back, her cheek leaning into his chest plate. She could care less about how the edges of his armor were pinching into her skin, or how his fully loaded bandolier was pressed very uncomfortably into her collarbone. All that mattered to her right now, was this. “I’m so happy you’re here.” she all but whimpers, closing her eyes to savor the coolness of his beskar and the familiar scent of metal and gun smoke.

Now Mando was really stunned. But he can also feel the physical tremble in her muscles and the speed of her pulse, so he relents with a long sigh before a single arm drapes around her back. “Are you okay?” he asks, his tone much softer this time.

She nods into his chest before pulling away again. “Y-Yeah I just- ” she takes a deep breath and lets out a shaky exhale. “ -that was.. too close..”

“What happened?” He decides to ask again. “Are you hurt?” His hands quickly pat her down as if checking her for any other injuries before one of them comes up to gently cup her chin. He carefully tilts her face to get a better view of her red cheek and it doesn’t go unnoticed when she refuses to make eye contact. His helmet tilts ever so slightly. “Sen’ika..”

Her lips press together and her brows furrow as she flinches. “Well..”

“Did they kidnap you?” He asks, his other hand gesturing towards the 3 bodies behind him.

This makes her head snap back up. “No! No, they had no idea where I was staying. They were just trying to follow me back t..” she trails off the moment her brain catches up to her lips, and now that she’s face-to-face with him, she can practically feel Mando’s visor burning a hole into her forehead.

The pause between them stretches out uncomfortably before he finally speaks. “Where did you go?” His voice makes her insides squirm, like a teenager getting caught out after curfew.

“Uh..” She starts and suddenly she’s become hyper-aware of how hot her face is. She can’t remember the last time he was this close to her, and the realization of this somehow makes her self-conscious. She’s also still remarkably faded, too faded in fact to fake any semblance of sobriety. And if he’s already here, there’s really no point in lying to him, he’s way too smart for that. “..the bar.” she finally finishes meekly.

His shoulders slump as he exhales. “You got drunk?” he asks incredulously.

Her face brightens in embarrassment. “Okay, look- ” she starts and she can practically hear him groan under his helmet as he looks up to the sky. “-to be fair, I only went after the kid passed out, cause I knew he wouldn’t wake up.”

When she looks up, his helmet only tilts to the side, a silent move that only prompts her to keep going. “Ok, so there’s this pattern I’ve noticed, so when you give him a full meal and a glass of warm milk, and then you just let him play with his toys and get him to make them float around the room, after a certain time, he’ll get super tired and, like, fully sleep through the night. And I know that sounds like the most basic excuse in the book but I swear I tested this three nights in a row and it worked every time, okay so I wasn’t being totally stupid..”

She doesn’t realize how long she’s been rambling until she glances up again. He’s now leaned in closer to her, and for a moment she thinks he’s examining her cheek again. What she doesn’t realize is how carefully he’s looking into her eyes. He can tell she’s been drinking by now, and despite the trauma of the attempted assault on her just now, her eyes are still way too bloodshot to just be the liquor. Not to mention the hint of another smell on her..

She inhales sharply through her nose when she feels his gloved hands slip over her own. She gazes into his visor, as if straining to look for a pair of eyes behind it and leans in ever so slightly. She’s never been as curious to see what his expression looks like as she is right now. Her face softens as she stares up at him. “Mando..?” Her voice is just above a whisper and oh-so delicate.

She can feel his thumbs gently press into the pulse points of her wrists as he stares at her, and the surprising warmth of his touch makes butterflies flutter in her ribs. And just before she can open her mouth to call out to him again, he leans directly into her eye level.

“Are you high?” He’s audibly confused.

Her eyes turn into saucers in silent panic and it’s here that he can see her pupils are blown wide open.

“…Uhhhh…”

He sighs heavily as his head drops in defeat. It’s the only answer he needs.

“Okay,” he relents as he lets go of her. “Get your stuff. Let’s go home.”

He immediately stiffens once the words slip out. Oh, fuck fuck fuck.

No Din, no! This was temporary, remember?? She’d only made that abundantly clear the day she stepped foot on the Crest with a single bag and 2 datapads. It was always a mutual agreement though: she was to join him on the Crest to work full-time on tracking down a Jedi, with a deadline of at least a couple of months before he was to drop her off at a new planet of residency of her choosing. After all, she’d only just begun resettling her life and it was a path she intended to follow through on her own. Din understood this partnership was fleeting and it was unfair of him to call this ‘home’, yet for some reason, he insisted on slipping up in little moments like this again and again.

Though based on the glazed, clueless look in her eyes, she didn’t notice at all. “Okay.” she simply says, turning around to scan the alley for her belongings. As she skirts off in one direction, Din sees her blaster laying just a couple of feet away. He picks it up for her when a loud clanging catches his attention.

“Hey!” She calls out, straining to pull her bag out from under one of the bodies. Once she rolls him off with a kick of her foot, she holds up her bag and pulls out one of the sources of the noise. “Look, the cider survived!”

His helmet tilts almost disapprovingly, but he does nothing else as he holds her blaster out to her. “C’mon.” he all but huffs impatiently.

“Okay okay, sorryy- ” she slurs, stumbling over the same body as she returns and accepts her blaster. “One of these are yours ya know!” Mando is already walking away as she’s throwing her up bag over her shoulder, and she has to scramble to keep up with him, a move that makes her trip on her own two feet.

His helmet tilts over his shoulder at her. “Can you walk?” She’s not sure if it’s meant to sound demeaning or not, but it makes her puff her chest as she pouts at him.

“Of course I can walk!” she shoots back. “You’re just going too fast.” He grunts in response, helmet facing forward again and continues his pace. She’s not sure if it’s the spice but his strides feel more rushed than usual. His shoulders are also still fully straight, she notices and something tugs in her chest as she tries getting a sense of what his body language is telling her. She’s only a step or two behind him, and her eyes wander to the floor in front of her, the words spilling out before she can stop herself. “..are you mad at me?”

She almost sounds like a child, remorseful and heavy with guilt and she already hates how it comes out. But what punches harder is his response. Or his lack of it. Because he simply keeps walking at the same pace, fully ignoring her. No grunt, no hum, not even a sigh. And for some reason, this makes her ache. She stumbles over her own feet again and almost instantly she can feel tears threatening to well under the skin of her cheeks. She wants to curse herself for getting emotional, but it has to be liquor making her moods swing so drastically, she tells herself. Not that this thought doesn’t stop her from speaking again.

“I’m fired aren’t I- ”

Before she can blink, she runs face-first into a wall of beskar as he stops abruptly. She can’t help but yelp as she clutches her now-throbbing nose and when she looks back up, he’s turning to face her again. He stares at her until the silence frays at her nerves, and just when she can feel her face burning up to her ears, she hears a soft exhale from his modulator.

“C’mon,” his voice is soft as his right arm slightly pokes out towards her. “I can hear you tripping around from up here.”

Her brows furrow ever so slightly. “Are you makin’ fun of me?” she asks.

“Does it sound like I am?”

Her eyes narrow this time. “Mayybe.” she coos. But she loops her arm into the crook of his elbow and is silently delighted when he tucks her against his side. She finds it much easier to match his walk now and she can’t help the jump in her pulse as she’s pressed closer to him. In fact, she has to bite her lip to stop the silly grin threatening to spread across her cheeks. They walk in comfortable silence for a while before her spinning brain comes up with another enquiry.

“Mando?”

“Hm?” His response is barely registered under his modulator.

“How’d you find me?”

For a moment, Din doesn’t answer. And it’s not for the lack of one either. He’s just not sure where to begin. Does he start when he first re-entered the Crest to find the kid safe and sound but with her nowhere in sight? Or when he went back outside in hopes that she was on the roof stargazing or fiddling with the ship. Or when he started speed-walking through the nearby alleys because now he really couldn’t find her and just before his panic could bubble over, a single sound just yards away made his heart stop before he jump-started into a full sprint for her.

“I heard you scream.” he eventually replies and it almost sounds like his teeth are pressed together under that helmet.

She smiles at that. My hero. She almost wants to swoon until he speaks up again.

“I’ve warned you about being alone Sen’ika,” His tone is still soft, but firmer this time. She flinches and tucks her face down from him, nodding once.

“I know, I- ” her head swirls at the pang of shame but she swallows the urge to say anything other than what was necessary here. “I’m sorry.”

Another pause of silence. She decides to focus on their footsteps instead. There was something about the synchronized crunch of gravel under their boots that just satisfied every single sense in her. And it isn’t until she looks up and gets a full glimpse of the night sky that she realizes the spice is still very much in her system, unnatural neon lights and shapes bouncing across the stars. She stares in drunken awe up at them for a little too long and when she sees the Crest finally back in eyesight, she practically deflates in relief.

“Hey,” Then, Mando gently slides his arm out of their loop, leather ghosting down the length of her arm until he cups his palm over her fisted hand. “What matters to me most is that you’re safe,” he says softly. His visor turns to her, and he slowly opens her hand to slide his own into her palm. His gloved thumb gently squeezes her knuckles in what she can only gather as reassurance. “Okay?” His tone is so warm, it’s almost tender.

It catches her so far off guard, she’s pretty sure she short-circuited and is only still breathing on emergency autopilot. Her cheeks flush up and her eyes are blown wide open in the same sweet doe-like expression he adores so much, that he can’t help but smile behind the safety of his helmet. She blinks and she almost resets, clearing her throat as she looks straight ahead. She’s still blushing as she smiles and nods once. “Okay.” she replies sweetly.

Even his gloves are impenetrable, thick and almost twice as large in size. But she can still feel a warmth radiating from the other side against her skin. Suddenly feeling brave, she shifts, slipping through his gloves and slowly linking their fingers together. Mando stiffens at first, until her nails sink into the shape of his knuckles, and he internally melts. Before he can process his own reaction, he squeezes back, his thumb gently stroking over her own.

She looks up again, grinning from ear to ear. Clouds are dancing in her vision, stars swelling and shrinking in size across the painted skies. She dares herself to glance at him from the corner of her eye. He’s looking straight ahead thankfully, only semi-lit under the glow of the moons, but his beskar has never been more radiant. The same colors in her eyes bounce off the high points of his armor, illuminating him in an almost ethereal glow. She can’t stop her eyes from wandering. He’s perfectly shaped from every angle. He stands tall and proud, and walks with an effortless swagger so few could replicate. His mere presence can shift the focus of an entire room. He’s daunting and striking and is the picture of discipline and strength. Yet he cradles her hand in his like she’s made of glass. She’s never seen anything past the chiseled cut of his helmet, yet he’s never looked more beautiful in her eyes right now. She knows she shouldn’t be looking at him the way she is right now; with stars in her eyes and the softest, most affectionate little smile spreading from cheek to flushed cheek.

“You’re so pretty~” she slurs out in the sweetest tone. From behind his beskar, Din’s heart jumps into his throat.

“You’re drunker than I thought.” He doesn’t skip a beat though, somehow keeping his tone flat and neutral.

“It’s still truee,” she shoots back, leaning against his side with a wide grin. “It’s always been true!”

He glances at her wordlessly and she smiles back at herself through his visor. He’s not sure what to say to that, if anything, he’s too flustered to think of a rebuttal. He’s never been called pretty by anyone, even as a joke. Eventually he clears his throat and looks away and she only grins wider. Did she just leave him speechless? She can’t help but try to read his body language for any hints.

BONK.

Unfortunately she’s so distracted by the dancing Mudhorn on his pauldron that she fully trips on the descending base of the Crest’s ramp. The only thing that stops her from falling on her face is Mando’s sudden grip on her elbow. His visor slowly turns to her again. And she knows he’s frowning this time. He yanks her back to her feet and they finally ascend to the deck. She sighs happily once she stumbles into the safety of the Crest.

As Mando closes and locks up the gangway behind them, a late thought suddenly strikes her. She turns to him with panicked eyes. “The kid!?”

“Shh-!” He quickly hushes her with a gloved pointer over her lips. She stares into her own flushed reflection as her voice echoes into the cockpit above. She’s hyper-aware of just how loud she’s being now that she’s no longer outside. Along with the scent of sunkissed leather directly under her nose. She doesn’t move until his finger slowly pivots to her right and when she follows his direction, she spots his hover pod, sealed up and safe and sound, just as she’d left him.

She sighs softly and her shoulders slump in relief. Mando leans in pointedly. “You’re lucky you were right.” he whispers into her hair. “He didn’t flinch when I got home.”

As goosebumps sprout up the back of her neck, he pulls away and crosses the room to the ladder. “I’m gonna lock us down. We’ll leave first thing tomorrow.” Just before he climbs, he turns back to her. “Bedtime, Sen’ika. Now.” It's a gentle, but final warning.

She nods wordlessly and he leaves her in the middle of the room, dizzy and flustered. Her ears are also ringing now that she’s swallowed in silence. Eventually, she slowly pads into her designated corner. Her hammock is tucked away in the pocket of an empty storage closet, a thin makeshift curtain the only barrier between her ‘room’ and the deck. The walls hum around her and she realizes the heat has been turned back on, thankfully. She’s too drunk to fully wash up but she’s got enough energy to rip off her tight, itchy outdoor clothes and boots. She grabs the closest pajama-adjacent shirt and lounge pants she can find and wriggles them on.

She opens her hammock and finally allows herself to lay down, eyes turned to the dim ceiling.

How would it have felt if she’d laid her head on his shoulder?

No.

Would he have pushed her away? Or allowed her to stay?

Her brain’s focus shifts to the vision of his arms. His hands. His sweet, soothing voice.

I mean, he let her hold his hand, didn’t he? And hug him. Surely she could’ve gotten away with a little shoulder lean.

Gods, no.

Is he soft under all that armor? Does he run hot or does the beskar keep him cool? Is there a human face behind that m-

No! Stop it!

She physically shakes her head to break her train of thought. This was dangerous terrain. Just because you’re drunk doesn't mean you should be humoring these silly curiosities of yours! Her eyes squeeze shut and as she tries to take a deep breath, she realizes her heart is racing.

This is ridiculous.

Okay, so what if she has a crush on her employer?? It's not exactly a new phenomenon, and it certainly wasn’t the first boss she’d ever fallen for either. What was insane was what she liked about him. Because for the very first time, she couldn’t put a face to it. Instead, it was in his voice. His strength. His unwavering faith in his Creed, in the Way. He was loyal, honorable and resourceful. Stubborn as a Bantha, but quick to strike like lightning. He was also kind and selfless. He had the patience of a saint for the Child and innocent locals and despite his daunting appearance, he never hesitated to help out others, even if it meant pushing back on their schedule. There were actually various reasons why she liked him, and she couldn’t even put a name to a single one of them.

Not that any of it mattered. Because not a word of this would be uttered to anyone, let alone to him. Not to mention that this was a temporary gig, it’s not like she’d be around much longer anyway. The last thing she needed was to complicate this job for herself with her unprofessional schoolgirl behavior.

Squeezing her eyes shut, she shifts her focus to the only other thing clouding her judgment. Her head is still spinning but the heaviness behind her eyes makes it easy to keep them closed. She also focuses on slowing her breath, allowing her limbs to fully sink into the cradle of her hammock. A few minutes melt away and just as she finally feels herself beginning to drift..

“Pin her down.”

She physically jolts awake as the image of her ex-attackers kneeling over her flashes behind her eyelids. Her heart jumps to her throat as that same awful wave of nausea courses through her. Okay so clearly she wasn’t over what happened just yet. Her stomach turns again though this time for far more terrifying reasons.

She leaps to her feet before she can stop herself. She’s not sure what she wants just yet, but she knows whose presence she needs. She whips her curtain aside and almost jumps out of her skin when she sees Mando already standing at her doorway. “G-Geez- !”

He doesn’t flinch. He’s also holding a metal cup that he offers to her when she looks at it. “Drink this before you fall asleep,” he simply says.

“What is it?” she accepts it anyway, peering inside before taking a test sip.

“Just water,” Mando pauses and inwardly smiles when she gags at the aftertaste. “and powdered electrolytes to cut your hangover time in half. You'll thank yourself in the morning for it.”

“Mm, awesome!” she flashes him a pained grin and he almost chuckles. She’s so adorable like this, it’s almost painful.

He lingers for just a moment longer before he nods once. “Sweet dreams.” He starts walking away until a single hand on his arm makes him stop in his tracks. His helmet shoots towards her expectantly and when her eyes meet his visor, her voice suddenly clamps in her throat. She catches the almost-panicked expression in her reflection’s eyes and looks away. She almost starts apologizing, but he turns towards her instead, closing the distance between them. “What’s wrong?”

“I- ” Her face feels warm again despite her growing anxiety and she feels betrayed by the flush burning across her cheeks. She huffs and looks down at her feet. “Never mind, it’s n- ”

“Sen’ika,” He doesn’t even have to say anything else. His helmet ducks to try and catch her eye. “Tell me.” His voice is so gentle and reassuring that she has no choice but to succumb.

Fuck it, right?

“C… can I stay with you tonight?” Her voice is so soft, it’s almost a whisper. Her hand gently squeezes his sleeve, teeth catching on her bottom lip. “I don’t.. wanna be alone tonight..” To be fair, it wasn’t a lie.

It’s so quiet, you could hear a pin drop from the cockpit. In fact, she can’t even hear him breathing. Fuck. Did she fuck it up? Is he weirded out? Is she fired? Again?? Fuck! Take it back!

She has no idea just how startled Din really is though. She can’t hear his heart doing somersaults in his chest or how almost-terrified he looks behind the visor. But then she looks up at him with those frantic angel eyes for just a moment, he knows that despite whatever’s asked of him, how could he ever deny his little bird?

She opens her mouth and he perks up. ”Okay,” he says. It’s just as soft as she asked and almost nervous. He nods to follow up and clears his throat. “Of course.”

Her eyes round and she blinks back at him, almost dumbfounded. Holy shit, it worked? “Yeah?”

He nods again. “Yeah,” he replies lightly before his helmet jerks in the direction of his bunk. “C’mon.”

He crosses the room to his bunk to open the hatch. The kid’s pod is hovering peacefully right by the door where either of them can reach him if they have to. She follows him wordlessly where he steps aside for her. “Pick your spot, I’ll be right back.” he tells her.

Ironically, she was no stranger to his bed. He’d offered his room to her plenty of times before she carved out a spare corner for herself to give him his privacy back. She never imagined she’d actually be sharing it with him for once. She downed the last of her water and put the cup aside before she stepped into the bunk. She decided to slide into the corner facing the wall to give him as much space as possible.

Mando’s only gone for a few minutes, but in her panicked, overthinking state, it feels like ages. She finds comfort in his sheets. After getting so used to this space then moving out for a stretch of time, they felt familiar and almost welcoming to come back to. She acknowledged this was mostly due to their scent, the warm, woodsy musk that she recognized as what was likely the scent of his skin. She nuzzles into his blankets, inhales and sighs into them.

Then his boot steps echo back into earshot. She rolls onto her back and props up on her elbows, watching his shadowed figure fiddling outside. After a particularly heavy sigh, he clicks a light off and steps inside. For a second, he almost looks like a shadow sliding along the walls. It’s then she realizes he’s not wearing his beskar. He's stripped down to his full flight suit, boots, gloves and of course, his trademark helmet. There’s still not a shred of skin in sight but this still gives her a full view of his own figure. She’s dumbstruck at just how broad he truly is even without his armor. Then, it dawns on her that he took off his beskar to make room for her and something flutters under her ribs.

He looks at her and she scoots into the wall. His gloves clench and unclench in a subtle twitch as he slides into the space next to her. It’s a tight squeeze, laying shoulder to shoulder, but it’s a fit that would’ve probably been unbearable with the few inches of additional armor on. She crosses her arms, making herself smaller and fitting around the bigger gaps between them.

They both sigh and for a moment, it’s quiet. Her heart’s weirdly racing and she’s not sure what to say. Or if anything should be said at all. He shifts next to her, and her first thought is that he’s warm, even under his dense flight suit. He sighs again, and it sounds spent. She wonders if his eyes are closed behind that helmet.

Her head cranes towards him. “Long day?”

A short huff cracks through his modulator. “Something like that.” He’s smiling behind that response.

She grins back and looks up at the dark ceiling again. Colors are still swirling in her eyes if she squints long enough, but they're fading, she notes. There’s another short pause before this time, he breaks. “If.. this is too uncomf- ”

“It’s not.” she cuts in sweetly, still smiling to herself. Despite the angle, he’s warm and sturdy and she’d never felt more secure sandwiched between a man and his metal walls. She gently nudges his side. “Thanks again for saving my ass.”

He huffs again and nudges back. “Any time.” he replies.

She giggles and pauses, words pricking at the tip of her tongue. She’s feeling brave again and in her growing drowsiness, she decides to throw caution to the wind one last time. “Mando?”

“Mm?”

She inhales and shifts, her chin gently pressing into his shoulder. “Can I be honest about somethin’?”

His helmet shifts to her expectantly before pointing his chin at her. A silent approval to keep going. “I’ve been surrounded by armies my whole life. For as long as I can remember. Rebels, mercenaries, outcasts. You name it, I’ve met ‘em,” She peers up at his visor, ensuring she’s making eye contact. “And I’ve never felt safer with any of ‘em than I have with you.”

He doesn’t so much as twitch, but she swears she hears his breath seize under the helmet. Once again, his chest blooms and swells and something warm settles in his stomach. He smiles inwardly and before he can stop himself, a gloved hand comes up between them, leather knuckles stroking along the shape of her cheek.

She leans into it for just a moment and then she breaks through, ducking under his arm to curl herself up into his side. She rolls onto her own side, an arm draped across his chest and her head resting below his collarbone. Surprisingly, he not only allows her position shift, but he wraps his arm around her and even pulls her into him. “I made a promise to you,” he says. His hand settles between her shoulder blades, his thumb tracing a single circle into her back. “As long as you’re with me, you’ll be safe from harm. I intend to keep that promise as long as it takes.”

With her ear pressed into his shirt, she realizes that his pulse is racing against her. He also smells nice, like a combination of gunsmoke, the outdoors and the linen of his sheets. It’s woodsy and crisp, but it’s warm and homey and so intoxicatingly comforting.

She wants to say it.

She could get away with saying it if she played it right. But she's too drowsy and delirious and exhausted to keep thinking. He’s draping his blankets over them, tucking her into the ultimate heat source and she wants to soak in it. There’s a cool press against her hair and she realizes that his helmet is leaning into her. “Is this okay?” he whispers to her.

She nuzzles into his shirt and sighs contentedly. Sleep is pulling her into its depths faster than she anticipated but she has enough energy to sweetly mumble, “No. It’s better than okay.”

He exhales through his nose from above her and his hand gently rubs her back. “Get some sleep, mesh’la,” he purrs. “I’m here.”

She doesn’t know what that one means. She makes a mental note to ask tomorrow. Right now, she picks her head up to press a single kiss into his collarbone before plopping back down. “G’night Mando..”

His heart rate picks up again. He pulls her up closer so her head is nestled into the crook of his neck. This allows her to wrap both arms around him. His helmet tilts down and she swears she feels his eyes on her. “Good night.”

She closes her eyes and smiles, allowing herself to sink into his warmth and scent for the first and probably only time. Her words were never truer than in this moment; never had she felt safer than in this tiny bunk, wrapped in her Mandalorian’s blankets. She falls asleep shortly afterwards, her breaths evening out and her heartbeat slowing into a tranquil pace. This time, her mind takes her to more pleasant dreamscapes.

She can’t detect Mando at all, listening to her pulse as she sleeps. She doesn’t feel how long it takes before his gloves slip off in the dim lights and two arms fully wrap around her. She can’t sense his warm palms holding her against him, one across her back, the other coming up to smooth and brush her hair. And she’s long gone by the time he makes the conscious choice to give his helmet a break, telling himself he needs the air and it’ll be back on long before she wakes up tomorrow.

Somewhere in her subconscious, thoughts flash across her eyes; images of the Child, his laugh, his bright brown eyes, and his infectious joy. Repeated images of Mando, his visor, his cape, his arms. His sheets. His voice. His leathered touch. Their hands linked under a coat of stars.

She swears she feels a pair of ghostly lips brush against her forehead, if only for a moment, but she never quite figures out where they came from. Not that it matters. Because for now, this is enough. Even if it is only temporary.

* * *

a/n: stream season 3 only on disney + <3

#din djarin #the mandalorian #din djarin x you #din djarin x reader #din djarin fanfiction #din djarin x y/n #the mandalorian x reader #din djarin x female reader #mando x reader #the mandalorian fanfiction #mando x female reader

2K notes · View notes

gtgbabie0 · 1 year

Note

Hi agian I hope you’re doing well! this time I have another idea a cute one I thought about when I was in the shower lol so probs shower thoughts but I saw a post saying Leon dyes his hair and I think he does because it went from the light colour all the way too dark.

For this I was thinking maybe RE4r Leon or RE2r Leon which ever one you think will work best and then the reader comes back home from work and calls out for him and he mentions he’s in the bathroom but when she does go inside his hair is all sectioned up with small ponytails almost like you’d see on a little kids hair and to find he’s dying one of the many sections he’s created and then asks the reader for help as he can’t do the back properly lol idk where this is coming from

Also I am totally in love with your writing it’s soo cute and beautiful as I’ve probably commented on a lot of posts but you leave me in awe every single time so please do keep it up ❤️🫶🏼

See you soon ✨

-Leon Kennedy x reader

{You help Leon dye his hair}

So cute!! Thank you for requesting as always lovely!! 💕

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It’s been a long day. Your coworkers decided they were just not going to help with anything at all, the entire day you had to do everything by yourself with little to no help, so to say you were stressed was an understatement.

You couldn’t wait to get home, to see Leon, more specifically. He was the highlight of your day and he never failed to make you feel better. Normally when you walked into the house he’d come rushing to you with a happy smile, helping you with your bags and coat, but today he was nowhere to be found, which was a little strange.

“Baby?! I’m home!” You shout, curious as to what he was doing as you kicked off your shoes before making your way up the stairs.

“Oh! I’m in the bathroom angel!” He says, your eyebrows knit together with genuine confusion as you walk towards the door. It’s only when he pops his head out do you burst into uncontrollable laughter.

His hair is pulled together in separate sections, little hair ties parting his hair and he can’t stop the chuckle that bubbles out from him as he watches you clutch your stomach with laughter, “What are you doing?” You giggle.

“I’m trying to dye my hair- but I- I can’t reach the back” he tries to explain through a fit of giggles, showing you the darker shade of brown box dye.

You can practically feel the stress melt from your bones, Leon didn’t even know how much he made everything feel so much easier, he meant to world to you.

“Oh- here let me help,” you tell him, walking into the bathroom as he hands you the plastic bowl of dye.

He watches as you follow the instructions carefully, “Thank you sweetness” he says, as you start to apply the product to his hair and in all honesty you couldn’t wait to see this new look.

You look down at him smiling proudly at your work as you study the dark brown dye that’s mixed in his hair, “You’re going to look so handsome” you tell him cupping his face in your hands as you pepper his face with gentle kisses.

His hands rest on your hips as he chuckles at the ticklish feeling, “I hope so because this is permanent” he says. You set a timer on your phone before cleaning up the bathroom with the help of Leon, although he doesn't help much instead he chooses to distract you with his kisses and gentle touches.

The timers soon goes off and you smile at the excitement that flashes through his eyes before he runs upstairs to wash the dye out from his hair.

Leon comes back down with an almost shy smile, his hair a much darker shade of brown than what it was before and there’s something about his new look that makes your chest feel all fluttery.

You walk over to him, threading your fingers through his soft, freshly washed hair, “Am I still handsome?” He asks, watching the way your eyes sparkle with love, and the sight makes his stomach all warm as he goes giddy under your gentle gaze.

“Yes, very handsome” you smile pressing a kiss to his cheek and then another to his lips. His hands settle against your hips, “Do you like it?” You ask your fingers still playing with the ends of his hair that sit on the nape of his neck.

“Yeah, it’s not bad,” he says, enjoying the way your nails lightly scratch at his scalp sighing at the relaxing sensation. You smile at the way his eyes softly shut.

“Oh! Baby I’m so sorry, I forgot to ask how your day was” he panics slightly, his eyes shooting back open as you giggle at his worry.

“It’s alright, my day is much better now,” you tell him, watching how his face softens at your gentle words, he pulls you closer to him pressing a kiss to the corner of your mouth as he whispers a quiet ‘I’m glad’ against your lips.

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hp-hcs · 7 months

Text

😜💖 friendship is magic 😌✨ (Chapter Four of The Doll) — slytherin boys x gn! ‘the boy’ (2016)! reader

❕new addition of Regulus Black❕

tws: dolls, obviously; reader referred to as ‘it’ (presumed inanimate); mentions of past child character death(s); mentions of a house fire—implied arson; violence; & murder

based entirely off of the 2016 film ‘the boy’. just slow plot shit this chapter, i’m afraid

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Determined to find the source of the leak, Blaise tromps back out to the hall to find wherever the L/Ns stashed their pole hook to open the attic. Tucked away in a dusty corner is where Blaise finds it, and he carries it back into Y/N’s room with a pleased expression.

This was going to be a piece of cake. If Blaise could find the leak and patch it up, maybe the L/Ns would put in a good word with the courts and shorten their sentences. Or his, anyway.

Slowly raising the pole hook up towards the ring handing from the attic ladder, Blaise missed multiple times, the ring bouncing off of the hook.

“Hey.”

“Holy fucking-” Blaise startles and drops the pole hook, taking a step back. The figure standing in the doorway of Y/N’s room waves awkwardly.

“Sorry- I didn’t mean to scare you. I’m Regulus? Er- Regulus Black? I’m the grocery boy for the L/Ns.” He trails off, motioning to the milk crate he held against one hip that was practically overflowing with produce and wrapped butcher’s packages.

“Oh! Yes, yeah, sorry. Uh, house just has me on edge is all,” Blaise rubs the back of his neck in embarrassment. “Do you need help with the groceries?”

Regulus’ eyebrows raise and he smiles. “That would be fantastic, actually,” he turns on his heel, already starting down the stairs.

Blaise has to jog to catch up, following the spry boy ahead of him down to the kitchen. Regulus is maybe a year younger than him, but has far too much energy for five in the morning.

“So why are you lot here? The L/Ns aren’t exactly known for their warmth and welcoming-ness. If you’ll excuse my bluntness, they don’t really have a propensity for entertaining guests.”

“They’re on vacation. Uh, we’re here as part of a…community service punishment,” he winces as he skates around the truth.

“Ah, nice,” Regulus seems unruffled as he puts away a carton of eggs. “What are they making you do? House-sitting?”

“Uh, babysitting.”

Regulus hums. “Ah, really? They didn’t take Y/N with them? That’s pretty surprising.”

Blaise startles. “Please tell me you don’t also think it’s…”

“Alive? ‘Course not. But it’s better to just humor them. Mrs. L/N gets awfully upset if you mention anything about it being inanimate, and this job pays too well for me to want to piss off my employers.”

Blaise laughs. “That’s fair. So…was there really an Y/N? Like, an actual one?”

Regulus nods, handing him a stack of cans and motioning towards the cabinet they belonged in. “Mhm. We were never allowed to play with them when we were kids. My older brother always called them freakish. And Mr. L/N only ever described them—the one time I asked, back when I very first started working for them—as odd.”

Blaise pauses halfway through stacking apples in the fruit bowl. “You knew them? Like, you were the same age?”

“They were a year or two older than me, but yeah,” Regulus accepts the mug of coffee Blaise offers with a quiet thanks, sitting down with him at the kitchen table.

“Anyway, story goes that they were playing out in the woods with Brahms—he was their only friend, that I know of—and they got in an argument or something… Mr. Heelshire—that’s Brahms’ dad—found ‘im by the river, skull all smashed up. The police chief wanted to question Y/N, you know, just to cover all the bases, but nobody could find ‘em and then-”

Regulus makes a fwoosh noise, setting down his mug to spread his hands out as if to imitate an dramatic explosion.

“Boom! The L/Ns’ house completely burned down. The only person inside? Y/N L/N.”

Regulus takes a sip of his coffee before speaking again. “Look, I’m not saying they’re connected, but…”

Blaise shivers, cracking his knuckles anxiously. “How long ago was this?”

“Oh, a while. Happened when I was real young. I think Y/N was…eight or nine. Should be just about a decade since then.”

“So why the doll?”

“Nobody knows,” Regulus shrugs. “They rebuilt the house after the fire, and then the doll just showed up one day. It’s creepy as fuck, I’m aware.”

“Just a bit,” Blaise drawls.

Regulus laughs. “You seem cool, man. D’you wanna come hang out with me sometime? I could take you to the good restaurants in town for like, lunch or something. Lord knows you gotta get outta this house.”

“Sounds great,” Blaise grins. “Would be nice to hang out with literally anyone other than those guys. I love ‘em, but y’know.”

“Well, if you’re not busy, how ‘bout today? There’s this awesome old-school diner that makes the best onion rings-”

Regulus chatters on, promising to pick Blaise up at noon for lunch. Blaise smiles, actually smiles, and tells him he can’t wait. After walking him out to his car, Regulus calls from the window, in a sing-song voice,

“See you soon, Blaisey-Waisey!”

Merlin, he’d get along great with Pansy, Blaise muses as he walks back towards the house.

173 notes · View notes

spiritualitygeek · 7 months

Text

What's Next For You In Love? (One-Card Reading)

Disclaimer: This pac is for entertainment purpose only. I am not liable for any actions or decisions taken or made based on the information presented in the reading. The interpretations and insights are subjective and open to individual perception. Please use your own judgment and intuition when applying the messages to your life or situation. Thank you!

Pile 1 🌤️

Card: 4oW

Signs: Gemini, Pisces, Capricorn

There's indications of a period of instability or potential conflict in matters of love and relationships for you, Pile 1.

✨ If you're already in a relationship, one or both of the following may happen:

- Conflict and Disagreements: There might be disagreements or tension within established relationships. This could arise from unaddressed issues or external stressors.

- Stagnation: Some relationships may experience a feeling of stagnation, where partners may feel like they're not progressing or growing together.

✨ If you've recently started seeing someone:

- Caution Needed: Be cautious when entering into a new relationship. There could be underlying issues or red flags that require attention.

- Misaligned Goals: Your potential partner may have differing long-term goals or values that could lead to challenges down the line.

✨ For my Single Individuals:

- Internal Conflict: I'm seeing a period of self-reflection and inner conflict for you. This might be a time to focus on personal growth and understanding your own desires and needs.

- Avoid Rushing In: Please take time, think through the pros and cons before jumping into a new romantic venture. Rushing into things might lead to complications.

✨ For lost and found connections:

- Challenges in Reconnecting: If you're considering rekindling a past relationship, there might be hurdles or unresolved issues to navigate before finding stability again.

To summarise:

You need to have an open and honest communication in your romantic situation, Pile 1. No matter what situation you're in. You're advises to be wise. To think before you take that leap of faith and to talk things out with your person before jumping to conclusions. Clearing the air and addressing concerns can lead to resolution.

Pile 11 🌧️

Card: Strength

Signs: Capricorn, Aquarius, Aries

There's indications of a period of balance, compassion, happiness and resilience in matters of love.

Also, while connecting with your card I also saw Aquamarine crystal. It is known for its calming and soothing energies. Here, although it implies the need for open, calm, and honest communication. You're encouraged to approach situations with a clear mind and a compassionate heart.

Additionally, the Aquamarine's connection to the element of water symbolizes emotional healing and purification, indicating a potential period of emotional renewal and growth in your love life.

✨ If you're already in a relationship, one or both of the following may happen:

- Rejuvenation: A period where you and your partner will draw upon your inner strength to overcome challenges and renew your bond. I'm seeing that balance of energies between you two.

- Emotional Fortitude: You'll find the courage to address any issues that may have been lingering, leading to a deeper connection. You're fostering compassion towards each other.

✨ If you've recently started seeing someone:

- Empowered Beginning: This signals a strong and positive start to a new relationship. Both parties will feel a sense of inner confidence and a willingness to support one another.

- Open-hearted Communication: You'll have the courage to express your true feelings and intentions, creating a foundation of trust. There'll be balance and harmony.

✨ For my Single Individuals:

- Self-Empowerment: I'm seeing a period of personal growth and self-discovery for you. You're finding a newfound confidence and ability to stand on your own. And that is not just good for your self esteem but also for attracting new love. And this love is not going to be someone. It'll most likely be "the one". When you're feeling your best, and acknowledging your importance and qualities, you attract people who do the same. So, the more love you give yourself, the more love you're attracting from your soulmate. All the best!! I'm so happy for you.

✨ For lost and found connections:

- Forgiveness and Healing: If you're seeking to reconcile with a past love, both parties here need to summon inner strength to forgive and move forward. Shift your focus from what was to what is and what can be.

Talk things out. Open and honest communication will open doors of reconciliation for you. Allow yourself to heal. Allow your relationship to heal.

To Summarise

Expect balance, trust, happiness, and hope in your love life. But it's crucial to keep in mind the advises above.

Pile III 🌦️

Card: 7oC

Signs: Pisces, Sagittarius, Virgo, Cancer, Capricorn, Scorpio

There's indications of confusion and many possibilities in the realm of love for you, pile 3.

Also, a song came up for y'all out of nowhere.

Now, the card VII of Cups along with the message of the song "Standing Next to You" by Jung Kook, is giving me fantasies, illusions, distractions, need for reassurance and stuff like that.

Ofcourse, the messages apply differently to different individuals and their situations and I've tried my best to make this reading inclusive of all.

So here you go:

✨ If you're already in a relationship:

- Choices and Fantasies: It's easy to get lost in daydreams when you're in love. Especially if you choose to imagine an idealized version of your partner over the original version of them. This can be particularly true if you're a water moon/Venus or 12th house Venus placements.

If this sounds like you, it's important to remember that your partner is human, just like you. They're not some perfect being descended from the heavens. They have flaws and imperfections, just like everyone else. That's completely normal and okay.

Instead of being disappointed by the gap between imagination and reality, take the time to truly know your partner. Spend quality time together, have meaningful conversations, and appreciate the person right next to you. This real, tangible connection is what truly matters.

The song's message, expressed in lyrics "Standing next to you," is a poignant reminder for you to focus on the here and now. It's your sign to cherish the present moment and the person who's chosen to be with you. Don't let yourself be swept away by fantasies. Embrace what you have, and with patience and time, your love will blossom into something beautiful.

✨ If you've recently started seeing someone:

- Overthinking Love: In the early stages of a new relationship, it's easy to have high expectations and fantasies. This is your warning against overthinking and idealizing fictional romance.

"Standing next to you" is a reminder for you to appreciate the person in front of you. Try to know them. Give them some time. That is, if you genuinely like them. And you feel the compatibility in the long run.

Otherwise, it's not worth it. Take a look around, maybe your "Standing next to you" is a totally different person and you've been looking everywhere but at them. Give it some thought!!

Confirmation: You have your sun or moon aspecting their sun or moon.

✨ For my Single Individuals:

- Choices and Opportunities: Y'all are really entering a time when you have many options in the dating world. Although, you're confused. Either because of this reading or in general. You're like, I'm not popular. What do you mean many options? Nobody looks at me?

Honey! Calm down. If you knew how many eyes are eyeing you, you'd be sick self-conscious all the time. So it's good that it's not obvious to you, yet.

Although, the channeled song is giving me hints in the sense that even with many options, there's a special connection who you either already cherish secretly or are totally oblivious about.

The song is also giving me hints about a specific someone. If you know someone who is your potential love interest, has their personal planets specifically sun or moon aspecting your sun or moon, this is them.

If you knew it already, perfect! If not, now you do! Find them, hold on to them. They're your person.

Good luck;)

✨ For lost and found connections:

- Dreams vs. Reality: If you're seeking to reconcile with a past love, I'm sensing the inner struggle between what was idealized and what actually transpired. You're still somewhat disappointed in them. They were good. Better than your other exes. But you still can't digest the fact that they didn't treat you a certain way as you imagined. And so, you sought it better to part ways.

Maybe there was compatibility issues even. You were disillusioned to their real personality. Something blinded you to see them differently. And that may or may not have been their fault.

Before jumping into anything, be clear about what you want from this relationship or any relationship in general and learn what they want too.

If you find a common ground, it's perfect! If not, who's gone is gone! They may not be the person for you.

Maybe there's someone better. Someone worth the wait. Someone with who you'll stand the test of time. Nothing and nobody will be able to divide you from them. And if you believe this person whom you're considering for reconciliation is that someone, go for it. But if not, please be patient. The song says "I'll be right here." This is a direct message from them, through divine.

Confirmation: You have your sun or moon aspecting their sun or moon.

To summarise:

It's important that you appreciate the present moment and value the person who's chosen to be with you. Don't let fantasies or illusions obscure the potential for a genuine and lasting connection.

Remember, love is about embracing imperfections and cherishing the person standing next to you. Because, while perfect love and partner can indeed be manifested, making it last requires real effort. It's about being present, understanding each other's imperfections, and working together to build something strong and lasting.

Thank you all for taking the time to read my pac. I hope the insights resonated with you and provided some guidance. If you found this helpful, I'd be grateful if you consider following me for more spiritual content and future tarot readings. Wishing you all love, light, and positivity on your journey! ✨

- With love, Snow ❄️

#tarot #tarotblr #tarotonline #pac tarot #pac reading #pick a pile #pick a picture #pick a photo #pick a card #pac #spirituality #love reading #love tarot

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katebeckets · 2 months

Text

after a 3.5-year hiatus from gifmaking, I re-learned how to gif at the end of November and have since gained quite a few new followers and also confirmed I will be on this website until the day I die. Many of you came right as I lost my job, dealt with the fallout and unemployment, found a new job, and started working... and for some reason have stayed through all of that?? So I decided to do a very randomly-timed follower appreciation event because you all have really kept me going these last few months.

I want to share a special thank you to the @tmsource team (aka @burningblake, @robintunney, @robntunney, and @lizzybennets) for organizing the secret santa event that motivated me to start giffing again, and to Britt especially for her incredible scene pack that meant i actually had shit to gif 😂

and a note to all my long-time swiftie friends/followers who absolutely did not sign up for this... who could stay? you could stay. 🥹 but the actual note is that i have so much love for all of you. there is one taylor-specific request and the rest can be done for her as well if you don't share any fandoms 😘

requests will close april 1. love you all! request guidelines under the cut 🩵

————————————————— 🩵

NOTES

we don't have to be mutuals, but you do need to be actually following me since this is a follower appreciation!

I have absolutely noooo idea what the timeline on this will be especially since I have multiple gif series in progress and am starting my new full-time job lmao so please... ✨ lower your expectations ✨

you may send more than one request (just be reasonable please lol)

for this event, anonymous requests will not be completed

please consider reblogging this if you send a request so more people can see it <3

to request a gifset, please choose from this list and send me a...

🎶 + a character/(friend)ship for a lyric gifset (you may send a lyric or have me choose) 📖 + a character/(friend)ship for a quote gifset (you may send a quote or have me choose) 🎨 + a tv show/character for a color palette gifset (send 1-3 colors or have me choose) 💋 + a word for a taylor swift parallel/theme gifset (e.g., taylor swift + spring, taylor swift + blue; feel free to get creative! you may also specify an album, tour, or performance) [taylor swift prompt] 💝 (mutuals only for this one) for a themed gifset + short playlist that I make for you (you can send me a theme or have me surprise you. also let me know if you prefer apple music, spotify, or a youtube playlist)

*I don't have a list for them, but you may request movies and musicals as well (as long as you've seen me blog about them!)

thanks for being here! 🩵

in absolutely no particular order @andialmostdo @andtosaturn @queenofinys @useragarfield @sharpesjoy @singinprincess @sophiedevreaux @ncutisgatwas @clairesbeauchamp @fionagallaqher @lemonbreelnd @deathbyathousandcuts @1989tv @prentissrollins @strideofpride @mauraeyk @keensressler @jemmaasimmons @gracegordongreene @spencereid @jakeperalta @iftye @lovesickallovermybed @emilylprentiss @emilybluntt @lordjohnwgrey @daenerys-targaryen and so many more (it won't let me tag) beautiful wonderful people, i love every single one of you!

#nervous lol i've never done one of these #since my blog is small #but there've been lots of new friends joining us so we'll see <3 #plus it's truly been such a lifeline so. anyway #love you all #fae #will temporarily pin this <3

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deathbyathousandspiders · 11 months

Note

hello!! ive been scrolling thru ur work and i am instantly obsessed. can i request a meet cute of peter? :( maybe they meet post nwh and she’s like wanda and she’s doing lessons w strange like america chavez 🥹 something like that :D thank u!

do u also happen to have a masterlist? i’d love to read more of ur work ure really amazing! ❤️‍🔥

you’re so sweet!! i just published my masterlist and pinned it :)

but here’s the link too !!

✨masterlist✨.

this is just a quick lil blurb :,) i hope you like it !!

800+.

The chill of winter rushed down your spine, causing a subtle shiver to follow along your goosebumps. You should’ve known that the old ass windows of the Sanctum would be drafty, but the view of New York covered in snow was somehow a sight you couldn’t pull your focus from. It was breathtaking.

Strange trusted you to house–sit the Sanctum Sanctorum while he and Wong went out to visit Kamar–Taj. It was a little day trip for them, so you didn’t mind the task. Besides, it was the least you could do to make it up to Dr. Strange for letting you stay there. You couldn’t exactly remember how you’d lost your family, but alas, it brought you here anyways. You were left lonesome, with powers you could barely summon on command.

He was training you on your telekinesis abilities, and giving you sanctuary from the blistering wind–chill outside. Watching the Sanctum for a few hours felt like a reasonable task for you to take on. You were more than capable of protecting it.

The sound of the doorbell stirred you from your people watching, immediately grounding you from your thoughts while you trekked down the steps. The doorbell rang again just before you got to the large door, opening it with a slight twinge of irritation. All your annoyance melted away when you realized who had disrupted the peaceful afternoon.

A boy, roughly your age, stood on the steps in front of you. He looked at you doe–eyed. Stunned. It seemed like you both anticipated a greeting from different people. His brown eyes pierced your soul, making a mental note to remind you that you had to see them again. His hands dug into the pockets of his winter coat, hesitant to break the silence.

“Is, uh- Is Dr. Strange here?” He asked, voice on the verge of breaking. It almost seemed like he was too scared to hear the answer.

Your head turned into the building, about to call out for the doctor before you realized how much of an idiot you were for forgetting. “Um, no. Sorry, he’s out today.” Your brows creased, feeling a little sympathetic. You weren’t sure why your powers were picking up his energy so adamantly, but his energy was something that drew you in. “Do you want me to deliver a message?”

It seemed like your words carried a weight that only he knew the gravity of. He suddenly seemed lighter. Hopeful. “I, umm.. No, that’s okay.” He turned on his heel, stepping down the steps again. “Thanks anyways–”

“Wait.” You cut him off. You couldn’t figure out why, but you didn’t want him to go. Part of you knew he was more significant than he was leading on. A part of him lived in the barren sanctum walls, and you knew it. “What’s your name?” A small smile touched your lips, “I’ll let him know you stopped by.”

The boy froze dead in his tracks. It was almost like you’d said something wrong. Shit. Doe eyes turned into the stare of a deer in headlights. He didn’t seem to know what to do.

Your brows creased a little more, concernment sewn in the crevasse this time. “Are you okay?” He didn’t reply. He didn’t even move. You weren’t sure why he started malfunctioning, but you knew you had to do something.

“Maybe it’ll help if I tell you my name first?” Even you didn’t sound too sure, but this was better than nothing. You leaned into the doorframe more, trying to present yourself in less of an intimidating way. “I’m Y/N.”

You watched him mimicking the deep breath you took, easing into his posture. He gained some color back, and found his way back to his body. A nervous smile tickled the corners of his mouth with a breathy laugh, awkwardly glancing down at his boots.

“Sorry..” He spoke amid the anxious laugh, scratching the back of his neck. “It’s nice to meet you, Y/N.” His smile grew at the way your name fit with his voice. “I’m, uh.. Peter Parker.” It was like his name was some forbidden tongue. Getting it out seemed to lift the weight stuck on his shoulders though. “My name’s Peter Parker.”

Smiling back at him, you stood upright. “Well, Peter Parker, it’s nice to meet you too.” You sent a reassuring nod in his direction. “I’ll be sure to let the doctor know you stopped by.” Your brow arched at him, unable to shake the grin off your face. “Alright?”

Peter took steps away from the door, but kept his eyes on yours. “Thank you!” He beamed a little. It seemed to be the first light to hit the boy’s eyes in a while. “Happy holidays, Y/N.” He chimed, walking off into the street.

You hollered the same thing back in his direction before shutting the sanctum doors. You couldn’t quite dismiss the odd energy that your powers sensed from Peter, but it wasn’t a negative feeling. In fact, it was fascinating to you. And walking back to the drafty old window you’d been stuck at all day, you realized you wouldn’t be forgetting about Peter Parker anytime soon.

You hoped you’d be lucky enough to see him soon.

#🪷 .゜・ ˗ˏˋ ☾ ´ˎ˗ 𝕭𝐋𝐔𝐑𝐁𝐒.#🕊️ .゜・ ˗ˏˋ ☾ ´ˎ˗ 𝕰𝐋𝐋𝐄 𝕽𝐄𝐐.#marvel imagines #marvel mcu #mcu imagine #mcu peter parker #peter parker imagine #peter parker #peter parker x reader #peter parker blurb #blurb #mcu #imagine #tom holland imagine #tom holland x reader #tom holland

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pedrito-friskito · 1 year

Text

strawberry wine - joel miller x ofc!liv stone/fem!reader

during - part ten

series masterlist | main masterlist | read on ao3

your reunion comes with a price.

a/n: can’t stop won’t stop part today part tomorrow we are AMMMMMMMPED people. and this is the first official chapter with the use of Liv’s name! she will still be as nondescript as possible for now (this plot is ever-evolving) with sparse use of her name. but like I said in the announcement, if named OCs are not your thing, there’s no hard feelings here! also a bit of Joel x Tess starting in this part - I do want to say that there is ZERO hate on my end for their relationship, I love what they did/are doing in the show, but for the sake of the plot, they are not as established in this fic.

word count: 4.4k

warnings: MY BLOG IS 18+, MINORS DNI, angst, some questionable choices, drinking, Joel has a lot of feelings and doesn’t know how to express them.

✨follow @friskito-library for updates on new works/chapters✨

He can’t stop pacing.

His gut has been knotted with worry since Tommy disappeared into around the bend in the road. Tess has been watching him every since, from her spot perched atop a long defrosted freezer. She’s got her knees pulled up, legs bowed, arms wrapped around. Some kind of comfortable, he supposes.

Joel’s back hurts. It always has, and the end of the world certainly hasn’t put a stop to it. He rubs at his shoulder as he paces, fingers digging into his muscle. The gun holstered at his thigh feels heavier than normal, the knife on his belt even more so.

The gas station is a few miles out of the city. It made the most sense, stopping here for now. It was decent shelter, empty of Infected, good sight lines. The luckiest they’d been in a long time. Luckier still when they found a mostly-intact map of the state buried under a stack of cardboard inside the station’s store. Tommy was sure of the path, and while Joel was loathe to let his brother leave, he knew it was the best play. But that hasn’t stopped him from pacing the floor so long he’s actually worn the tiles clean.

“Would you sit down or something?” Tess quips, her voice exasperated. “You’re making me fucking nervous, pacing like that.”

He gives her a hard look, but relents, heads for one of the windows dotting front of the store. He crosses his arms over his chest, stares through the grimy glass.

They found Tess just outside of Kentucky, nearly three years back. Her and her husband, Nate, were just trying to make their way, same as Joel and Tommy. After a close call with a horde of Infected, they’d joined up, more convinced that strength was in numbers than anything else.

Tess is strong, capable. She’s proved herself a hundred times over, by now, saved both Joel and Tommy’s lives more than Joel cares to count. He doesn’t like feeling like he owes anybody anything, but with her, it’s different.

And after Nate turned, it got…different, again.

He hadn’t meant for it to happen. She worked through her grief quietly, all too similar to himself. The name came up, and she shot it down. “I don’t need your fucking sympathy, Miller.”

Joel’s still holding onto you, in a way. It’s a spark that never truly goes out, a prick of warmth in his chest that he knows he has to keep small. It would burn its way straight through him if he let it get any bigger. He just…hopes you’re alive. That’s all he can allow himself to do.

But Tess, with her brash tone and her slim tolerance for bullshit, he can see the similarities, between you two. His mind wonders if you’d be friends, given the chance, and he has to force the thought from his head. There’s no guarantee you’re still in Boston, still breathing. There are not guarantees at all.

With Tess, it’s stress relief. He knows that. She knows that. The ground rules were laid out right from the first time. He hadn’t meant for it to happen, but it did, and…it felt good. A small comfort in a world that was still hellbent on ending him.

A small comfort. A small spark. That’s all he’ll allow himself.

That’s all he can live with.

“Joel’s alive.”

Your boots squeak on the kitchen floor. You stare at Tommy, open-mouthed, gaping like a damn fish.

“He’s…alive.” The truth tastes funny on your tongue. You say it again. “Joel’s alive.”

Tommy nods, and you pull him back against you, hugging him a second time, a nearly shouted oh my god falling from your lips as you collide again. He laughs, the sound like music to your ears, hugging you tighter still. “So are you, Liv,” he says, his voice low in your ear, cracking on your name, and you pull back again.

“Where is he?” you ask, gripping his shoulders. “Where have you been? How long, since you left Austin? Is Sarah with Joel? What’s…” The questions keep pouring out of you, something triggered in the back of your brain. You need to know everything; where they’ve been, what they’ve been doing, how they stayed alive all these years. You need to know.

Tommy lets go of you just enough to take your hand, but before he can get a word out, Deanna speaks. “Maybe you two should go downstairs,” she says, putting a soft hand on your shoulder. “Kiddos should get to bed soon, y’all should have your privacy.”

You nod, and Tommy follows suit. “Thank you, Deanna,” he says, catching her hand before she can walk away. “For everything.”

She smiles at him. “You’re welcome, Tommy.” Her eyes slide to you. “Go on, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

You just nod again, the questions still stalled on your tongue. Tommy follows you out of Deanna’s apartment, down the hallway to the stairs. You only hit the first landing before you can’t hold your tongue any longer. “How did you find me?”

“I asked around at the clinic, after I got through the gate,” he says, keeping pace with you as you head down the next flight of stairs. “Didn’t think FEDRA soldiers was a good place to start. The first nurse had no idea what I was on about, but another heard me say your name and pointed me in Deanna’s direction. Took a bit of interrogating at the business end of a shotgun to convince her I really knew you, but she warmed up to me in the end.”

“Shotgun?” you balk. You’ve told her a million times not to keep the thing around, in case FEDRA ever came knocking. (Pot calling the kettle black, you’re well aware…) But she’s insisted on keeping it strapped beneath the kitchen table ever since the mall. “That woman, I swear.”

“She had nothing but nice things to say about you,” he informs you, and you can’t help the grin that tugs at your mouth as you hit the second landing, pushing the door open that leads to the hallway. “Sounds like you’ve been making quite the living.”

“Doing what I can,” you reply, fishing your keys out of your pocket. “This is me.” You stop in front of your door, unlock it, push it open. “Not much, but it works.”

Tommy follows you in, shucks off his jacket. You do the same, hiding your bag beneath it on the hook. You point out the bathroom, offer him some water.

“Is this a cup of tea conversation,” you ask, handing him a water bottle, “or a something stronger kind of conversation?”

Tommy’s eyes widen. “You have something stronger?”

You tell him to sit, walk into the kitchen and shove the fridge to the side with a heave, revealing the hole you cracked into the drywall, stacked with bottles of liquor. “Pick your poison, Miller.”

He’s gaping at you. “You’re joking.”

“I’m serious,” you laugh, pushing a hand through your still-damp hair. “Lots of abandoned houses outside the wall, lots of rich people who left a lot of good shit behind.”

He points to one of the bottles, and you pull it out, set it on the counter, shove the fridge back into place. Mismatched glasses are laid out on the table, filled with two fingers of dark liquor, some barrel-aged whiskey you haven’t even tried yet.

“To you,” Tommy says, raising his glass to you, and your mouth twitches, the soft clink reaching your ears. The first sip burns, and you wince, setting the glass on the table. “Where do I start?”

“At the beginning, ideally,” you quip, and he laughs, draining his glass to nothing and reaching for the bottle.

“May I?”

“‘Course.”

Tommy has been with Joel the whole time. “I was in the truck with him, when he called you that night,” he says, and the memory makes your shoulder prickle. “When the phone cut out, I thought he was gonna put his fist through my damn dashboard.” He chuckles, but there’s no humour in it. “The plan has always been to come to Boston.” His dark eyes flick up to your face. “To find you. Or try to. After—” He stops, cuts himself short, empties his glass again.

“After what?” you prompt, reaching out and laying your hand on Tommy’s forearm. “Tommy, tell me. Please.”

“I was in jail, the night everything went down. Got into some stupid bar fight, didn’t realize until after that the guy was infected; tried to bite the fuckin’ waitress. But I called Joel, and he came to get me. We saw all kinds of weird shit happening in the city, heard weirder shit on the radio, then he called you. We went home, got Sarah, tried to get the hell out of dodge. We got stuck, in the city. Fuckin’ plane fell right out of the sky, crashed my truck.

“We got separated, for a while. I had to circle around, try to meet up with them again, and when I found them, Joel, he…” He trails off, his brow furrowing, eyes going shiny. “Sarah died. That night.” He sets the glass on the table, leans back in his chair. “She hurt her ankle, when the truck crashed, and Joel was carrying her. Found them at the bottom of a hill, fuckin’ soldier with a gun pointed right at Joel. He’d already fired at them and then I…I shot first.”

You plant your elbow on the table, cover your mouth with your hand. There are tears pouring down your cheeks, and you’re still holding Tommy’s arm. He covers your hand with his own.

“Joel was on the ground, hurt but okay, but Sarah, she…” His brow pinches, eyes wet. “Just like that, she was gone, and he…it broke him.”

Slowly, you pull your hand away from your mouth. You refill your glass, toss the entire thing back in one go. It burns like hell, but you barely notice it, wiping the tears from your face. “Tommy, where is he?”

“Gas station, maybe ten clicks outside the city. Cumberland Farms, or something like that.”

“I know it.”

He nods. “The plan was for me to come first, see if they’d let me in, figure out how easy or not it would be to get them in, since…”

“Since what?” you prompt, lifting a brow.

“We got kicked out of the last QZ we were in. Baltimore, before it fell. Tess, she—”

“Who’s Tess?”

He gives you the story; Tess Servopolous, badass extraordinaire, according to Tommy’s description. They’d joined up with her and her husband originally, but he’d been infected, and she’d been the one to put a bullet in him. Smart as hell, apparently with ideals similar to your own; Joel and Tess had been kicked out of Baltimore for smuggling, and the FEDRA soldiers in Baltimore were using exile as punishment. Tommy, refusing to leave his brother, had left of his own accord.

“So it’s just the two of them?” you ask, your brain churning, an idea already starting to form.

Tommy nods. “That’s it.”

You push back your chair, startling Tommy, who catches your arm.

“What are you doing?”

“Stay here,” you say, ignoring his question, grabbing a different — dry — jacket off the hook. Tommy gives you a hard look, crossing his arms over his chest. “Eat whatever you want, drink whatever you want. The bed’s not half bad.”

“Where are you going?” He gets to his feet. “I’m coming with you.”

“No,” you say quickly, shaking your head. “You just got here. You can’t get caught.”

“And you can?”

“I can get them in, but I have to go talk to someone first.”

“What about the curfew?” he asks. Your eyes dart to the clock on the wall; almost an hour past. “Liv, don’t—”

“It’ll be okay, Tommy,” you say, trying to muster up something resembling a smile. “I promise.”

You’re soaked again by the time you’re tapping on Nick’s window, perched precariously on the fire escape outside. McCoy was on the overnight patrol; you’d seen him halfway between your building and Nick’s. The city is dark, night taking hold, curfew emptying the streets and lighting windows, casting shadows onto the pavement.

“What the fuck are you doing out here?” Nick says by way of hello, sliding the window open. You climb through immediately, shivering violently as the warmth of his apartment covers you. He tries to reach for you, but you step out of his grip, arms crossed over your chest.

“Are you working the gate tomorrow?” you ask, and he just stares at you, one brow raised. When he doesn’t answer right away, you ask again. “Nick, are you working the gate tomorrow?”

He’s looking at you like you’ve got three heads. “I am…why?”

“I need your help,” you say quickly, your knees knocking together as you shiver again. “I’m bringing two people through the gate tomorrow, and I need you to get them through, no matter what, no questions asked.”

Those blue eyes of his darken. “I can’t do that.”

“You can,” you insist, staring him down. “I know you can. I’ll…I’ll vouch for them, feed them with my own fucking ration cards until they can pull their own weight. They can sleep in my apartment, I don’t care. I just need them inside the QZ. Please.”

For a moment that feels like an hour, he just stares at you, mouth slightly parted, deep lines on his forehead. “Who is it?”

“Does it matter?”

Nick scoffs. “I guess not. But you…why can’t they just go through the gate like everyone else? Doesn’t matter what I do, if they’re infected, they’re not—”

“They’re not infected,” you tell him, cutting him off. “I’m not an idiot. That’s not the problem.”

“Then what…?”

“They were kicked out of Baltimore, before it fell. Which means they’re in the system, which means any other soldier would turn them away on the spot.”

He scrubs a hand over his face. “And you want me to just let them through? Why’d they get kicked out of Baltimore?” His expression changes, something like understanding, but you know before the words are out of his mouth that he’s wrong. “What kind of fucked up deal have you made, Liv?”

“I didn’t make a fucking deal,” you say, exasperation creeping into your tone. “I just…I need them inside, Nick. Please. I’ll do whatever you want me to. Throw me in lockup for a week, I don’t fucking care. Just get them inside. Please.”

After a moment, he replies. His face is a hard mask, thick arms crossed over his chest. “Not a week. Two days. You go in the moment they’re through the gate. It’ll have to be official shit, on your record, proof that you were in lockup when they were brought through. I swear to god, if they pull any shit, if anything traces back to—”

“It won’t, Nick,” you say, forcing yourself to relax, reaching out a putting a hand on his arm. “I promise.”

He narrows his eyes at you. “So says the smuggler.”

You crack a smile. “So you’ll do it?”

“Yeah,” he nods, almost rolling his eyes at you. “I’ll do it. You owe me. And you know I can’t protect you in lockup.”

“I know.”

You know you shouldn’t do it; in fact, everything in you screams in the opposite direction. But when he reaches out, grabs the zipper of your coat and hauls you close, you kiss him. It lingers, the feeling of his hands moving to your waist all too familiar, but the entire time, your mind is whirling.

Joel is alive.

You’re gone, as soon as the sun’s up.

Nick’s awake, pulling on his gear, as you’re doing the same, nursing the cup of good coffee he’d pushed into your hands almost the second you opened your eyes. You tried to wave it off, but he wouldn’t let you. “Drink it.”

You sink onto the edge of his bed as you tie up your boots. He’s watching you, pulling a clean t-shirt over his head, tightening his belt.

“How long will you be?”

“Five hours, maybe longer.” You get to your feet. “It’s a long trek.”

His brow twitches. “I don’t like this.” Nick steps towards you, and that little voice in you, the one that had screamed when he first kissed you last night, almost has you flinching away. He reaches out, swipes his thumb over your cheek, down and over your chin. “At least tell me who they are.”

“Does it matter?” you ask, echoing yourself from last night. “They’re survivors. They deserve a safe place, right?”

He drops his hand, crosses his arms over his chest. “Right.”

“I’ll bring them through the alley,” you tell him. “Same as yesterday. Then through the empty warehouse and to the gate.”

Nick just nods.

“I’ll see you later,” you say, grabbing your jacket, and you’re gone.

You take the same path you’d used the day before, stopping at one of your caches to grab the bat from where you’d stashed it, a backpack with supplies. Your adventuring gear.

Ten miles feels like twenty. The caffeine gives you a bit more pep in your step, and you’ve always travelled faster on your own, but you haven’t felt this antsy since outbreak day. Your heart hammers with every step, the bat a heavy weight at your back, hands curled around the straps of your backpack.

Joel is alive.

It pushes your feet faster, but makes the guilt rise in your stomach just as quick. You shouldn’t have let Nick take you to bed, shouldn’t be asking him for something like this, but there’s no one else you can ask. No one else you trust.

The Joel you find now might be a completely different one. Tommy’s words ring out in your ears, when he’d told you about Sarah, about what happened that night.

“It broke him.”

Part of you has been broken since you left Austin. Maybe there’s a glimmer of hope somewhere in here, maybe you can put each other back together, live, survive.

Maybe.

The guilt simmers thickly. You should have told Nick who it was, who you wanted brought inside. But would his answer have been the same, if you admitted it? He’s pressed a bit, over the years, asking for tidbits of your past, trying to muddle your story together. You’ve stayed tight-lipped with him, but Deanna knows exactly how much gin to give you to loosen your lips, and you have no doubt she’s passed some information along. Not that you can blame her; she loves you both, and she’s still not sold on what you’re doing with Nick.

“You’re gonna get that boy killed one of these days,” she said one night. A job went slightly awry and you came back with a black eye, the bat caked in Infected blood, Nick half carrying you up the stairs to Deanna’s place. “You can’t keep getting him involved.”

“I know.”

You did. You do. But life is about resources, now. It’s who you know, what you have, what information you can use against someone if you need to. It’s a lethal combination, in every sense, and that’s just behind the walls, never mind what lies beyond.

You know you shouldn’t use Nick. You know you’re just going to hurt him, at the end of the day, but it was never supposed to go this far. You know he feels more than you do, and part of you still wants to feel what he feels, to give him something in return for all these years but—

Joel is alive.

Broken or not, that changes everything.

As soon as Tommy said Cumberland Farms, you knew exactly where you were going. It’s a halfway point, of sorts. You’ve done a handful of deals there, have some supplies stashed beneath the tiles. It’s long deserted, looted to shit and half boarded up, but there’s usually something interesting lurking around.

But you’re definitely not expecting what you find.

There’s a truck at one of the gas pumps, the hood popped and the battery long gone. The door is cracked open, and when you get a little closer, you see them, standing in the window.

The woman — who you assume must be Tess — stands with her back to you, light-brown hair visible through the glass. There’s an arm slung around her waist, a hand fisted in the back of her jacket, and everything in you goes still.

Joel.

He’s standing in front of her, saying something, his lips forming words you can’t discern. Your mind is blank, taking in every detail you can, rebuilding the picture of him in your mind, a combination of your memory and your vision, the differences sussing themselves out.

He looks older. There’s a bit more grey in his beard than you remember, the lines on his forehead deeper. A ratty, camel-coloured jacket, a few buttons on the flannel he’s wearing undone. Tess puts her hand on his chest, his bare skin, and when she leans in, your heart drops into your stomach, knees nearly dropping out from under you.

They’re together.

Thanks for the fucking warning, Tommy.

It doesn’t matter, you tell yourself, tightening your grip on the bat, breathing slowly. It doesn’t matter. All that matters is that he’s alive.

Then Joel’s eyes flick up, staring straight through the glass. Straight at you.

You see it, on his lips.

“Liv?”

You’re frozen in place. The world has melted away completely. The bat falls out of your hands, the metal singing as it bounces off the pavement. He disappears from the window, Tess turning to see what he saw, and a moment later, he’s bounding through the door, bee-lining for you, nearly sprinting across the lot to where you’re standing. He’s saying your name like a prayer, over and over and over again.

He grabs you so hard your boots slide on the asphalt. The breath is knocked from your lungs, something hot and desperate making a home in your belly as he pulls you into him. You go willingly, throwing your arms around his middle as he wraps his around your shoulders. He’s solid against you, heartbeat hammering against your chest, as quick as your own. The scent of him is slightly different, more earthy, almost darker, but it’s still Joel.

He pulls back after a moment, holding you at arm’s length, one hand moving up to cup your cheek, eyes raking over every inch of you. “You’re alive,” he breathes out, a surprised laugh in his tone, and you just nod, the words refusing to leap off your tongue. Joel hugs you back against him. “You’re alive.”

You just nod, tears filling your eyes, holding him close, holding the back of his jacket in an iron grip. Please don’t make me let go, please don’t make me let go, please don’t make me—

Joel pulls back again, his brow pinched, confusion in his eyes. “How did you—”

“Tommy,” you answer quickly, moving your grip to his bicep as his grip your shoulders. “He’s in Boston, in the QZ. I left him at my place; I didn’t wanna take any chances.”

“He made it?” Joel asks, and you nod.

“Joel,” you say, your voice low, feeling a tear slip down your cheek as you say it. God, his name feels strange on your tongue. When was the last time you said it out loud? You squeeze his arm. “Tommy told me…” You pause, breathe deep. “About Sarah. Joel, I’m so sorry, I just—”

You regret the words, the second they’re out of your mouth.

It’s like a flip has been switched. He drops his hands, and his expression goes with them. You watch the mask fall into place, hard and unreadable, shutting you out in an instant. There’s suddenly three feet of space between you, and he turns away as Tess walks out of the gas station, calling his name.

“What’s going on?” she asks, confusion on her face, coming to a stop beside Joel. She juts her chin towards you. “Who’s this?”

“She’s…” Joel starts, but loses the words. He looks at you again, something you barely recognize in his eyes. Again, he turns away, hands on his hips, his back to you.

“I’m Liv,” you offer, holding your hand towards Tess. She stares at it for a second before taking it. “You must be Tess.”

“I am.”

“Tommy sent me,” you say, and that seems to soften her slightly. She’s pretty; big green eyes, pouty lips, tall, and she looks every bit the badass Tommy had described. “I’m an old friend.”

Her gaze slides to Joel, who has distanced himself further, putting even more space between you. Tess, thankfully, doesn’t do the same. “I gathered that.”

You push your tongue against your teeth, resisting the urge to yell at Joel. Why did you have to say it? Why couldn’t you have waited, maybe? At least got them into the QZ before you shattered whatever was still tethering you two together.

“How do you know each other?” Tess asks.

You search for the words. Do you give the truth, right off the bat? Has Joel ever mentioned you to her? Why did you have to say it? “It’s a long story,” you finally manage, eyes snagging on Joel’s back. The guilt you’d already felt over Nick has tripled, a solid lead weight in your stomach. “Doesn’t matter. We should get going.” Tess opens her mouth to protest, but you hold up a hand. “Tommy told me about Baltimore. It’s fine, I took care of it; you’ll get in, no problem.”

Joel whirls then, his eyes bright, jaw set. He’s angry. You almost flinch. “What did you do?”

“It’s nothing,” you reply quickly, your brows pulling down. Some fucking reunion. “Don’t worry about it.”

“What did you—” he starts again, taking another step, but Tess’s hand flashes out, smacking him in the chest, and he freezes.

“Relax, would you?” she nearly sneers, and you raise a brow. “She’s helping us.”

Joel stares at you. Long and hard, those dark eyes impossibly darker, making a chill snake down your spine. You barely recognize him. It doesn’t matter, you try to convince yourself, bending to pick up the bat. He’s alive, that’s all that matters. You knew things wouldn’t be the same. Things couldn’t be the same.

You look away from him, feeling his gaze follow you as you turn on your heel, heading back towards the road.

“Let’s go.”

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#my fics #strawberry wine #joel miller #joel miller fic #joel miller x you #joel miller x reader #joel miller smut #joel miller fluff #joel miller angst #the last of us #the last of us fic #the last of us spoilers #joel miller x oc #joel miller x liv stone

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torialefay · 4 months

Text

☀️ Everyday Idol 🌙 (Chapter 6)

✨ possible bangchan x reader (f), possible jungkook x reader (f)

✨ head on over to my masterlist if you haven’t checked out the previous chapters!

✨wc: ~6.5k

✨ friends to lovers? possible love triangle? obsession? angst and future smut??? a little fluff.

✨ summary: JYP Entertainment launches a new show and y/n somehow gets recruited. Even though she doesn’t particularly care about the outcome of the show, she does particularly care about one of the artists she met: Chris from Stray Kids. Does Chris feel the same or will a potential relationship with one of his friends overcome what y/n feels for him?

✨ warnings: cursing from time to time.

Previous Chapter Recap:

You both started moving as quickly as you could toward the end of the street, rounding a corner. You looked back to see if Jungkook was still in site. You didn't see anything, but that didn't mean he wasn't still following.

Changbin flagged down a cab and pushed the both of you inside.

"The JYP Building, please. Quickly." he instructed the cab driver.

"That's the opposite direction of my hotel! Here, it's actually-" Changbin cut you off.

"If someone is following you, do you really want them to know which direction to take for your hotel?"

'Good point.'

"JYP Building please!" you yelled toward the cab driver. You clung tight to Changbin's arm, swerving your head frantically to get a view through all of the windows.

—————————————————————————————————————————————

Y/n’s POV:

Your breathing started to steady once you both had reached the JYPE building.

You grabbed onto Changbin, stabilizing yourself and waiting for a few moments.

“Nothing bad could happen here, right?” you questioned.

“Nah, there’s a million cameras,” he replied back.

You took a moment to look around, unsteady on your feet from the alcohol in your system. You checked to make sure you still had your bag and all of its contents before looking around. And in that moment, you cursed the glass walls all around you. You may have been safe INSIDE the building, but who knew who could be looking in from out there?

“Binnie, can we please go somewhere else? Somewhere there’s less windows?” you asked, suddenly feeling nervous again.

Changbin pulled you along to the elevator, waiting with you once he pressed the “up” button.

“Let’s go to the lounge. We’ll be okay up there. Plus… there’s snacks,” he winked.

“I could genuinely puke right now Changbin, I don’t think a snack is what I need.”

He looked down at you and watched as you swayed back and forth on your feet, just trying to keep yourself up.

“Well… you are also hammered. And I’m pretty bad off myself. So I do think sobering-up snacks are in order,” he instructed, walking onto the elevator with you as it opened.

On your ascent, Changbin started listing all the snacks that he could recall off the top of his head that were in the lounge. It was an abnormally long list… even for Changbin. He had to have come up with at least 20 different things.

‘Damn. This man really knows his snacks.’ Nothing sounded particularly interesting though. You weren’t kidding about the possible vomit. The nerves hadn’t settled yet. Maybe it was easy for a buff guy like Changbin to brush this kind of stuff off, but you knew Jungkook had an advantage over you. What would you have done without Bin there?

“Do you guys have coffee? I think that actually might be in order. I’ve got this splitting headache all of a sudden,” you said, reaching up to hold your head.

“Yeah, I’m sure we do somewhere. I’ll find it for you,” he smiled down.

Changbin led you back to the lounge, which you’d recognized as you’d gotten water here before. He started sorting through some of the drawers and cabinets looking for coffee. There was a coffee maker, but nothing to put it in.

“Hold on, no coffee to be found. I’ll go ask around. One of the staff is surely here and they’ll know,” he told you, getting ready to walk out of the door.

“No, that’s okay, really. I’ll manage without it.”

“Well I might not! Now that you mentioned it, it’s all I can think about. I’ll be right back!” he exclaimed, walking out and leaving you to yourself for the first time all night.

You didn’t like it. How quiet the building was at this time of night. Normally, at least a few people would still be here training or working on a project. But on a Friday night with the weekend off, you hadn't seen or heard a soul since you entered the building.

Uncomfortable with the silence, you slipped your phone out of your bag. You flipped through a couple of apps half-mindedly when you thought you should probably shoot Anna a text. You made sure to let her know you'd went to the JYPE building with Changbin and that you'd have to explain later. You didn't feel like you were in the best position to be texting right now.

As you sent the message, you let your thumbs wander back to your last messages with Jungkook. Nothing new since you’d gone out. There was nothing out of the ordinary… Just him telling you to have fun and let him know how you were doing later.

As drunk as you were still, you knew better than to send a text during all of this.

‘What would I say anyway? “Hey so uhhh are you hiding out in the bushes for me or what?”…’ The thought of actually sending it made you laugh. Albeit unfittingly. But it tried soothing your nerves.

Not much could help though. You just kept staring at the messages wondering what you could have said differently. Wondering what would have happened if you wouldn’t have mentioned that Changbin would be there. Would he have showed up then? Or would he have still come and then got extremely mad when he saw you with Changbin?

You let your mind wander to what could have happened had Changbin not been there to try and walk you back to your hotel. You would have been alone. And then what? Still being followed? Your every move being watched? Would you have even made it back to your hotel at the end of the night?

You had a million ideas of what COULD have happened to you. And suddenly, it all hit you at the same time.

Emotions started to flood in at how overwhelming all of this was. You had normally been spending all of your time slaving away over school work, way too busy to have any form of social life. And now, since being in Korea, you had been cast on a TV show, met a bajillion Korean celebrities, become friends with some of the biggest names in the K-pop industry, had your heart torn between two guys who were entirely unreal, gone on a date with THE Jeon Jungkook… and now you were being stalked?!

Besides Anna, you were all alone- a foreigner in this country. You had literally no one else. Wouldn’t Jungkook have known that? If something would have happened to you, -if you would have gone missing, who would have fought to get you found? Your other foreigner friend? And how much would the Korean law enforcement and investigators care to find a random foreign girl who probably “wandered off with some guy after a night of drinking”? You could have easily been fucked.

The emotions of how small you felt in that moment overcame you. You felt a few tears trickle down your face, suddenly starting to feel homesick. You let yourself slide to the floor and bring your knees in to your chest as you focused on your breathing. Deep steady breaths.

In. Inhale… Out. Exhale… In. Inhale… Out. Exhale…

Just as you were calming yourself down, in walked Changbin with, of course, none other than Christopher.

‘Couldn’t he have found literally anyone else?’ You tucked your face down into your knees.

“No, I swear I looked everywhere! You go on then!” Changbin yelled to him before noticing you. Once he did, he rushed over.

“Hey, hey,” he called, agging you to look up. “What happened? You okay?”

You slowly brought your head up to him as you saw Chan making his way over behind him. You let out a sniffle and wiped at your eye.

“Just start getting nervous and lost in my thoughts when I’m alone I guess,” you tried to smile.

“Is everything okay?” Chan looked down at you, visibly confused from the sight of you.

In that moment, you were thankful in assuming Changbin hadn’t said anything… but then again, what pride did you have left to lose? Why did you care if you looked good in front of Chan?

‘Surely he doesn’t care now. He obviously has something with Jenna… It’s just so humiliating to talk about. A guy that I think is into me, like ACTUALLY into me, and now here I am getting stalked and then crying about it.’

“Yeah. It will be fine,” you huffed in, catching the last breath you needed. “But Chan, do you know where the coffee is?” you tried to change the subject.

“Uhh, yeah,” he looked down at you, still confused, before turning his body around. “I’m pretty sure they keep it up in this top right cabinet.” He walked over and opened the door to the cabinet. He sorted around the top before pulling one box back, revealing the stash of hidden coffee pods.

“Want me to put some on for you?” Chan asked.

“Yes please,” you smiled, standing yourself up to walk over to the table that Changbin was situating himself into.

“Make that two!” Changbin yelled.

Once the coffees were made, you all sat around trying to beat the awkwardness. There was obviously the elephant in the room of what you didn’t want to talk about. Paired with your underlying neuroticism never going away and both your and Changbin’s dying urge to sober up. It made for a riveting time.

As you all sat, Changbin started slowly nodding off. On and off, he would catch himself falling asleep, then snap back up.

“Bin, why don’t you go home?” you whispered to him as he was coming to.

“No,” he mumbled. “Not gonna leave you here alone.”

“I can literally call a cab later, Binnie. Just go home.”

“I’ll call and get someone to get both me and you then,” he was grumbling now while sitting up as he went to grasp for his phone.

A nervous pit formed in your stomach. You weren’t so sure you’d feel safe back at the hotel. You hadn’t heard back from Anna, so who knew if she would be there yet. You also didn’t quite feel comfortable leaving the building yet. You weren’t sure if anyone could still be hanging around waiting for you…

“No, really, that’s okay. I think I need to stay here for a little bit longer just for… you know,” you looked at him before slowly looking down. “… I’d just like to wait it out… But I will be fine. PLEASE go.”

“I can stay with y/n,” Chan said, confused look on his face. He still had no clue why you were shaken up. “I’m sure Hyunjin is awake. I’ll call him now and let him know to pick you up okay?”

Well that was… unexpectedly nice.

“Okay…” Changbin said, as he laid his heavy head back down against his arm, shutting his eyes. Poor guy. You had no clue he was worse off than you.

—————

15 minutes later and Changbin had been picked up and you had just finished downing your first coffee.

It helped alleviate a bit of the pain in your head, but it wasn’t fully gone. You made yourself another cup, while holding your hand over your head.

“Headache?” Chan asked, motioning up to your displaced hand.

“Yeah. It’s getting a bit better though. It just gets rough if I drink too much… And this blinding-ass office lighting doesn’t help too much either,” you chuckled, looking down into your cup.

“If you want, you’re always welcome to chill in my studio. It’s quite a bit darker in there. I was just getting finished with something actually… I mean if you want to? I’m not gonna say you have to.”

You smiled at Chan’s nice gesture. As uncomfortable as things were with him, you would be grateful to get out from under the harsh lights for a little while.

You took another big gulp of coffee. “I think I could really use that, Chan. Thank you,” you said to him, eyes big and full of gratitude. You smiled.

He cracked a smile back. The first one you’d seen from him all night.

As he led you down the hall to his studio, you couldn’t help but wonder about Chan. You knew you were drunk, yes. But still, something about him just seemed so… on edge? It had been like that all day… Well since he’d blown you off earlier. You tried not to question it, but there was no denying that there was a certain level of awkwardness now between the two of you.

‘Maybe I’m just projecting,’ you thought. ‘None of this is weird for him. He literally is letting your drunk ass sober up in his studio… Not sure how well Jenna is gonna like it though if she finds out.’ You couldn’t help but let your mind wonder.

You watched Chan’s shoulders from behind. How big and broad they were, and the way they moved as he took each step. You noted the way his neck craned forward just the slightest bit, letting him take up even more space. You noticed how tight his traps looked, and how easy it would be to lay a hand there and work them out. ‘But that’d be inappropriate.’

Once you entered the doorway, the studio felt the exact same way it did that night you’d first been invited to cry out your problems with him. Still just as dark, but weirdly inviting. It was always a bit colder than you’d have liked though, and you felt a slight chill move down your back. Regardless, you were extremely grateful to have the bright lights off of you (and your head), so much so that you let out a sigh of relief just from being in the new room.

Chan motioned for you to sit wherever you’d like, and you took your normal position on the couch while he plopped down into his rolling chair.

“Thanks for letting me crash. My head already feels a hundred times better. I won’t stay long, I promise!” you told him, letting your eyes close and head fall back a bit. You were soaking in the new lack of stimulation.

“Stay as long as you’d like,” he awkwardly smiled back. “Like I said, I’m just gonna be finishing up on something. I’m gonna have my headphones on, but let me know if you need anything, yeah?”

You nodded in response, prompting him to swivel his chair around and settle the headphones back onto his ears. You could see over his shoulder that he had some sort of program pulled up, but you weren’t in deep enough yet to have any clue what he was doing.

You took one final sip from your coffee cup before sitting it down and allowing yourself to lean your head back fully, closing your eyes. You knew it was the only thing that would keep this headache at bay.

You couldn’t get exactly “comfortable” though. Chan’s couch definitely wasn’t one meant to be slept on. But it also didn’t help that the temperature kept feeling like it was dropping. Your teeth chattered for a bit, but you definitely weren’t going to admit that to Chan. The man was letting you stay in his person space… What else did you want from him? To go find you a blanket?

You knew you’d be fine; you just had to focus on unfocusing. You let your mind drift and drift until all you could see was black. Stillness. Being in that blissful state was the perfect remedy you’d been looking for. And there you stayed for a solid 10 minutes. Restful sleep.

But not for much longer.

Something in your subconscious couldn’t help it. How could it let you have peace when there was a man out there who was literally stalking you? You started to see apparitions of his face again. The way his outline looked in the dark shadows. The shoes that gave him away.

You pictured what the shoes looked like seconds later. When they were running after you as you fled with Changbin.

Your mind wondered now to Changbin. You hoped he was safe- that nothing happened to him… That no one was waiting for him.

That thought alone pulled your eyes open. You sat up and gulped, not being able to come to terms with the events of the evening.

‘It’s just all too… too much. Way too much.’

You let your head fall down into your hands, which were propped upright from the support of your elbows on your knees. Your headache was almost gone. Now if you could just get your mind to stop racing.

You took deep breaths, trying to get the images of night out of your head- both those seen and those imagined. But it was like no matter what you did, the intrusive thoughts would always win. You just couldn’t get him out of your head. The dichotomy of that man was amazing- how he could make you feel so special in such a pure way just hours earlier and now THIS. That was a terrifying capability.

‘What else is he capable of?’

At some point your breathing must have gotten too labored and caused Chan to turn himself around. You shot your body up at the sudden touch of a hand on your back, terrified expression on your face.

“Woah, it’s okay! It’s alright,” he pulled his hand back and looked at you with a face of confusion and worry. “Is everything okay?”

Do you know that feeling you get when someone asks if you’re okay when you are most definitely NOT okay? Yeah, this was one of those times.

You couldn’t help but to release a few tears.

You tried to keep your composure as best you could. Your covered your mouth with your hand and tried to shield your face from him. You didn’t let more than a few tears come out- you were determined not to.

“Yeah, I’m okay, it’s just-“ you tried to catch your breath. “It’s just been a long night.” You looked away, hoping he would drop it.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“No,” you huffed out, and slightly angled your body away. You took a couple of deep breaths in, trying to steady yourself. Chan kept his eyes fixed on you the entire time. He just wanted to make sure you were really okay.

When you noticed him still watching seconds later, worried expression on his face, you finally gave in. With another deep breath, you raised your head and tilted back towards him.

“Okay, yeah…” You tried to make eye contact with him, but you just couldn’t. It was embarrassing to feel this vulnerable with him- knowing now that you had developed slight feelings for him that weren’t reciprocated. It made you feel like an idiot even being here having to explain in the first place.

“I-“ you breathed out. “I met this guy today for lunch. Nothing crazy, just to get to know each other a little better… I’ll be honest, he was very nice. Seemed super sweet. Had all the right things to say. He’s been so normal through text and all throughout when I saw him. And then- Do you know the dinner the company had for all of us tonight?”

“Mm-hmm.”

“Well obviously, you see how I’m acting now- I guess I had a few too many drinks. So Changbin and I left. But when I looked over, he was there, just standing in a dark corner. He was almost all covered up, so I didn’t catch it at first, but then I recognized his shoes. And I’m not sure if he knows I realized it was him or not but… but I KNOW he saw me. He was looking right at me and didn’t even say anything. He didn’t acknowledge me, didn’t come up to talk to me, didn’t even wave- NOTHING. He just stood there like he was waiting on me… Like waiting on me to come out so he could watch me. Or follow me. Maybe I’m paranoid or delusional or I don’t know…” you shook your head and placed it back in your hands, a frustrated smile coming over your face. All of a sudeen, your words came out rushed, like you were frantic to get them out. “Just something felt so wrong and I got nervous and ran off with Changbin- THANK GOD for him- I don’t know what I would have done without him. And then we came here because if he was following me, then I don’t want him to know where my hotel is and now I’m scared to go back because who knows where he is- he could literally be waiting on me outside right now and I’m just- I’m just so scared and I have literally no clue what to do or where to go or who to talk to or if I can even say anything or-“ Chan cut you off as you were hysterically mumbling at this point.

You noted how his eyes got momentarily bigger, as if he was in total shock himself. It quickly went away though, being replaced with a face that was obviously trying to mask anger. It was subtle, but it was there.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay! Just breathe... Just breathe.” He reached his right hand out to rub reassuring circles along your arm and shoulder.

Something in his voice though wasn’t very reassuring. It sounded almost as if he was surprised. Like he’d been expecting a certain answer but you’d given him another.

You tried to do as he said and slow your breathing as best you could. You eventually got there until you started to breathe normally again- although very lightheaded.

“Atta girl,” he smiled, patting your arm lightly a couple of times. “I know that must have been horrible and so scary… Would it make you feel better if I went out and took a look around?”

You sensed your heart starting to feel warm from his offer. God, it was so hard not to fall for him… But you didn’t want him to leave.

“No, no that’s okay…” you looked off before sheepishly admitting “I think I’d feel safer with you here anyways.”

You watched as his eyes melted into his new-forming smile.

“As you wish,” he smiled at you. “We’ll wait here then.”

“Are you sure? Listen Chris… I really am sorry for all of this. I promise you don’t have to rope yourself into my mess. And I know you’re happy and have a lot going for you, and just… I don’t want anything to get misconstrued and I promise I won’t be upset if you need to go home or anything.”

“Don’t want anything to be misconstrued?” he looked at you with a cocked eyebrow.

“Just with me being here with you this late. I don’t want someone to misinterpret things when you have something good going for you, much less give you any drama because of it.”

“People can say whatever they want, y/n. I don’t mind,” he said gently. “I’m here with you right now and I think that’s where I need to be. That’s all there is to it.”

“Okay,” you smiled up at him. “Thank you for that. I appreciate this more than you know.”

“Naurr, you don’t need to thank me,” he said playfully, leaning back into his chair with a smile. “But what you can do is tell me what exactly you think is ‘something good I have going for me’.” He let out a small chuckle as he ended.

“Everyone has eyes you know…” you trailed off. “You and Jenna. A lot of people have been talking about it.” You looked down.

Chan shifted suddenly in his seat, looking uncomfortable. “Oh… that.” He looked off as well. “Well I mean, I wouldn’t exactly say it’s something good going for me.”

“Well, whatever it is, don’t let me hinder that.”

“You could never! I mean… it’s not really like that- me and her. It’s really not what you probably think. I don’t want you to think that.” His voice had a tone of desperation.

“I mean, I saw you both too… Not in a weird way, but I did see you talking to her during filming. Everyone did. It doesn’t look like nothing, Chan. It’s okay to like someone, ya know?”

“No, y/n, I’m serious. I don’t know what I was thinking, I just- it’s not like that with her okay? I’m not into her like that.”

You glanced behind him to his desk. There sat a small packet of flower food.

‘Maybe Felix was right. Maybe he had bought me flowers…” you smiled to yourself.

You couldn’t help but let your heart overload with the newfound hope you’d just gotten. You didn’t want to get ahead of yourself… Actually scratch that, you didn’t want to allow yourself to be delusional.

But, you had to admit: this was a good distraction.

“Whatever you say, boss,” you winked, poking fun at him.

You could tell he was getting flustered. It was cute.

“Boss, huh?” He smiled. “You gonna keep that same energy up when the show starts? You know, all of you guys who have us as your mentors will be working with us. I’m gonna have to be your boss for a little bit,” he teased.

“Aw man, I might as well just quit now,” you joked.

“Come onnnn, I won’t be that hard on ya. Promise.” You could tell he was trying to sound cool.

“Pinky promise?” You reached your pinky to his.

“Pinky promise,” he hooked his around yours with a grin.

“Alright then boss, what’s your first tip for me? How can I stand out?”

He let his mind ponder for a bit. “Well, I can’t speak for everyone, but I think a big advantage would be if you knew a thing or two about producing or song writing.” He leaned in closer. “If you tell anyone I told you this, I’ll deny it, but I heard they’re going to have each of you write your own song to perform during the show.”

Your eyes grew wide. ‘Well fuck.’

“That’s pretty good considering I’ve never written a song in my life,” you couldn’t help the sarcasm flowing out.

“Don’t worry too much about it. That’s why we’re here to help. Changbin is amazing and will make sure you get it all figured out… But ya know if you ever do need something extra, you can always come to me too,” he almost blushed.

“Well I appreciate it, Channie,” you smiled back in appreciation. “But if you wanted tooooo, you could start helping me right now!”

“How’s that?”

“Show me that song you’ve been ‘wrapping up’!” you grinned at him daringly.

You watched as his ears turned red. You could tell he was embarassed.

“Haha I don’t know if that’s a good idea,” he grabbed the back of his neck.

“Why not? Pleaseeeee? You said it would help if I knew about producing. Show me a thing or two… boss,” you winked.

“I mean, sure, I can. But not this song. I don’t think it’s very good. I was just finishing the sample for it anyway. I don’t think anything will come of it.” He swiveled his chair around to get back off of the program.

You quickly sprang up and rested your hip along the arm of his chair. You reached your hand out to rest over his wrist, silently telling him to stop moving it around.

“Come onnn, just let me hear it! I promise I will be honest. Let me be the judge. It’s easy to say you don’t like it if you are the one that made it.”

Chan’s cheeks turned pink now. He didn’t dare turn around to face you.

“It’s just that it’s a bit embarrassing,” he laughed, trying to cushion his words.

“Please please please. I promise I won’t make fun. I won’t say anything AT ALL if you don’t want me to. Come on, it would make you the best boss ever!”

He laughed as he shook him head.

“Fine, I’ll play it, I’ll play it,” he gave in.

You let out a tiny excited squeal and gave him a couple of quick claps as you stood from his arm rest. You moved back to your normal spot on the couch and bounced up and down a couple of times out of anticipation.

He stood up and covered his hands with his eyes. “Ahhh,” he said, reaching one hand down to press play. He was so embarrassed for you to heard it that he could barely stand it. He brought his hand back up to hide his face, stupid smile spreading wide underneath. He started to pace to the other side of the room as it started.

“Ugh, calm down!” you yelled to him as the first note of the song played. You patted the leather of the couch next to you, motioning for him to sit. “Come and sit down, I’m sure it will be fine,” you scolded him.

‘He’s so ridiculous.’

He begrudgingly made his way over as the opening notes on the piano made their way out. He plopped down next to you, crossing his arms, and extending his head all the way back in defeat.

It was a beautiful song, you had thought. It had just surprised you that it wasn’t his normal upbeat bass-heavy songs you were used to. It was beautiful, slow, and sweet.

His voice sounded breathtaking as it came out on the track. You smiled hearing it and let yourself relax and sink down into his words.

I don't want to admit it

인정하기 싫어

I still miss you

아직도 그리워

How could I forget

I promised

약속했는데

I don't want to admit it

인정하기 싫어

It's hard to understand

이해하기 힘들어

How could I forget

The day you lied to me

Don't go anywhere, stay by my side

어디 가지 말고 곁에 있어 줘

Even if I told you, it was already too late

말해 봤자 이미 너무 늦었어

You, whom I pictured even in my dreams

꿈에서도 그려왔던 너

Things have changed before I know it

어느새 변해 버렸지 뭐

You never know, I might come back

혹시 몰라 돌아올 수 있다고

What can I say? It was like that last time too.

말해 뭐해 저번에도 그랬어

When I see it, it’s already gone

내가 볼 땐 이미 글렀어

It was you who made it collapse yeah

무너지게 한 건 너였어 yeah

I'll be honest

솔직히 말할게

I want to give up

포기하고픈데

I don't know

I can't give up on you

I'll wait a little longer

좀 더 기다릴게

It's been like this so far, woah

지금까지 그래왔는데 woah

I don't want to admit it

인정하기 싫어

I still miss you

아직도 그리워

How could I forget

I promised

약속했는데

I don't want to admit it

인정하기 싫어

It's hard to understand

이해하기 힘들어

How could I forget

The day you lied to me

I don't want to admit it

인정하기 싫어

I still miss you

아직도 그리워

How could I forget

I promised

약속했는데

I don't want to admit it

인정하기 싫어

It's hard to understand

이해하기 힘들어

How could I forget

The day you lied to me

Da da da

I stayed up all night

밤새며 난

I can't stop thinkin' 'bout you

Da da da

Just stay with me

I don't want to admit it

인정하기 싫어

I still miss you

아직도 그리워

How could I forget

I don't want to admit it

인정하기 싫어

It's hard to understand

이해하기 힘들어

I might as well forget

“Chris… it’s beautiful. That is one of the most beautiful songs I’ve ever heard. You really weren’t sure if you were going to put this out?!”

He finally released his blushing face from his hands. “I mean, I still don’t know if I am… Did you really like it that much?” He was hopeful.

“I loved it,” you said turning to him and looking into his eyes. “It’s different from anything I’ve heard you do before. There’s so much emotion in it… It’s just- it’s just beautiful… I mean I felt like I could cry listening to it honestly.” You reassured him.

“Plus,” you leaned in with a smile, “it was perfectly written. I’m sure you put a lot of time and energy into it. Well you and whoever else worked on it too. That hard work deserves to be rewarded.”

Chris just looked off and smiled, a small chuckle escaping his lips. “I’ll think about it.”

“Did Han help write it? I don’t know him all that well, but I know Changbin enough to know something with that emotional maturity doesn’t sound like him.” You giggled.

“It was just me actually… It was one of those songs that just comes to you. It wasn’t hard to write to be honest. Just hard to feel it as it came out,” Chan admitted, serious tone now. He began to talk lowly, almost at a whisper like he didn’t want you to hear him. “I started and finished it all today actually.”

“There’s no way,” you said in disbelief.

“Yeah, I guess I just needed to get it out. But anyways, that’s enough of that sappy emotional stuff,” he tried to force a laugh. “Let’s talk about something else… Anything else please.”

“Well then I guess now we’re even,” you smiled up at him as he reciprocated.

You went on to ask about Berry- how she was doing since you’d last spoken about her. It led into him talking about Australia and how much he misses home. How he could imagine how much you’re missing home as well.

He told you all about what Australia was like. His favorite things to do, favorite places to go, favorite foods to eat.

He told you about all of his friends and funny stories he could think of about him growing up. Of course, you shared yours too.

He let you in on some of his old embarrassing memories of home- how he’d slipped and fell during his winning goal of an important soccer match and how he accidentally mispronounced the word “organism” as “orgasm” while reading out loud at school.

You absolutely lost yourself laughing when he told you stories of how he used to taunt Hannah growing up, and the punishments his parents would give him after finding out.

He explained to you how beautiful the nature was and how he’d give anything just to be able to walk along the beach for 5 minutes.

You felt your heart almost skip a beat when he said he’d love to take you there sometime.

The two of you kept talking aimlessly for what felt like minutes, when in reality, it had been several hours.

At some point, your eyelids started to feel heavy. You did your best to keep them open and to hear Chan’s voice for as long as possible. You did well for a while, but eventually you couldn’t help yourself anymore. You weren’t sure when it happened, but you had finally given into the exhaustion.

What better way to fall asleep than to the sound of Chan painting such beautiful scenes in his beautiful, loving voice?

This was pure bliss.

———————————————————————

Chan’s POV:

Chris smiled to himself as he realized what you’d done. That he’d actually talked you to sleep. He couldn’t help but feel giddy that he’d get to spend even more time with you this way, even if you weren’t awake for it.

He couldn’t believe how easy it was with you. How he could talk to you for hours without ever feeling bored. How every conversation with you made him feel overcome with emotions- happiness, embarrassment, heartbreak, love.

Just being in that room with you was enough for him. It put him at ease. Enough so that he started feeling the sleepiness come over him as well. It was rare that he actually felt this, like he wasn’t fighting to make himself go to bed. This was the most peace he’s felt in a long time.

In all of his content, he let himself rest his eyes too.

Your head had flexed forward to rest on the back of the couch, just inches from his own. Your hand had come forward as well, resting centimeters from his. He felt his heart swell seeing how dainty, feminine, and soft your hands were compared to his own bony, veiny pair.

‘You are so beautiful,’ he thought.

He reached his hand over just slightly so that it was touching yours. He went slowly so as not to startle you awake. He ran a finger leisurely across the top of your hand, smiling lightly at how soft it was. Once he was content, he allowed his hand to rest over yours, keeping it safe and locked away.

‘Mine now.’

As he inched his head closer to yours and closed his eyes to rest, he let himself get consumed in his thoughts.

‘You really have to tell her, Chan. You wrote a whole song about her and you had the chance then, but you didn’t take it…’

He thought about the reason you ended up here.

‘No, it was a good idea to wait. Not tonight. Not while all of this other shit is going on for her.’ He thought back to the story that you told him. How Jungkook, his own “friend”, was now watching you- no, stalking you. And how HE was the one who had introduced him to you.

He felt his blood begin to boil, thinking of how scared you looked while telling him about all of this. Who the fuck did Jungkook think he was? He’s apparently a stalker, so what else was he hiding?

Chan wouldn’t let himself start to think of what could have happened had Changbin not been there. Things may have been okay… Maybe he would have just tried to hang out with you more… Or maybe not. You were drunk after all. If he had the right words, maybe he could have convinced you to do other things.

It took everything within himself for Chan to blink away the thoughts and the visions and come back with a clear head. He didn’t want to think about that. He wanted to live in this moment. With you.

He slowly opened his eyes to look at your still face. He loved the little quiver on your lip as it was smooshed up against the couch. He couldn’t help but smile at how cute you were. It took everything in him to not lean down and plant a kiss to your cheek.

Instead, he just nuzzled his head back closer to yours until your foreheads were barely touching. In the softest tone he could muster, he began to whisper.

“I won’t let him hurt you. I promise... I’ll protect you now.”

——————————————————————————————————————

✨ Continue to ➡️ Chapter 7

✨ If you enjoyed, please consider liking, commenting, or reblogging <3

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shinystarfishmoon · 10 months

Text

letter to you by your heigher self

Hi everyone welcome back to my new pac💗

I initially thought of making this about your grey side but thought my reading lately were getting too much into improving yourself and grey side.. I mean what about self love?so here We are ☺️

Also I am posting this pac Just 2 days before my College stats.. so it will take a while for other pac to come 😶‍🌫️

You can choose from the above animation of Jennie left to right . Take deep breaths and choose the plie.. ✨✨

if you like this reading follow and reblog for more such reading 💗

Non of this animation are mine . I found them on printrest

Plie 1

Welcome to your reading plie no 1 🐥

Cards: queen of coins, the fool, 5 of cups, 8of wands ,king of Wands , the world ,4 of cups

Letter 💌

Hi sweetheart

I am your heigher self talking to you,.. I have so much to say but will start with compliments that I want to give you ... My dear your are such a good leader, it's admirable how you are really good at not only seeing how things benefits you but also considering about how they can benefit others . Your Practical approach towards the goals you have for future is admirable. But you need to understand that working is not only way that you are gonna grow sometimes you need to be having fun and enjoying your life because we may think that is not the last time that we are going to have fun or we there will be another times that we could have fun but I think that you need to start to live in the present I love that your working for your future but honey you need need to go out and need to have fun you need to be like a fool who loves life and is adventurous don't let don't play let the curiosity of a child that you have inside your heart die. You have came so far and when you look behind you will see that you have given given up so much for the things and the goals that you have for yourself at the end of the day you are making it work out but you need to know that balance is the key for healthy life and you may sometimes feel trapped because of the the overload of the work that you are doing I know you love work and you are practical about it but you need to go out and have fun touch some grass, and not always be on the laptop working . Do not feel that you are onworthy of all the things are the blessings coming your way because you have done the work you are doing the work and you are putting the effort that it needs to manifest your dreams and they are going to come true.. you need to exercise or at least to yoga or stretch your body wake up early because the bad habits of staying up all night and and not doing exercise are not good for yourself in your health so drop that bad habits girlll . Love yourself have self-care days . 💌💗

Messages: You are always loved and supported

Thats all that I have for you plie 1💗

Welcome to plie 2😺

Cards: judgment, chalices, the express, the hanged man (in reversed) 2 of coins king of wands, strength

Letters 💌

Hello there.. you have come so far facing all the hurdles on your way and you are still afraid what are you afraid about? The thing in the past happened with you they were not something small you went through that and you still fine . What makes you think that the obstacles in future will terrify you or you are not going to make through them ? You need to love yourself to find someone who truly loves you it's not only about romantic relationships that you will be having in the future but it's also about the friendship that you are going to make , if you are not loving yourself enough you are not secure enough in yourself that will project in you manifesting people who are insecure and in you manifesting the same experience that you did in the past. You need to heal yourself and fill up your own Cup before you even start to look for love or friendship in others you need to be your friend and your lover first to find that in another people .Its not just about being loved but it's also about being able to love yourself. You need to be kind to yourself you need to say good things about yourself you need to say the things that you want to hear from your love from your friends why do you need other people to compliment you you can compliment yourself it's not crazy many people do compliment themselves and its not crazy you are not crazy!!. You are scared of changes but you still know that changes are important for you you know that changes are important for you and your still afraid of them your afraid of change is because you don't know what it brings with them you don't you are afraid of the unknown you don't have to be afraid of the changes girl it can be very beautiful why always think about the worst . focus on the good things that can happen with changes. You need to balance your life you need to find balance between being extra giving and saving it for yourself saving doesn't mean that you are being greedy doesn't mean that you are selfish no. Think about yourself before you think about others it's fine it's not selfish you this is you just balancing your life because you are a person who will think about others before you think about yourself and I really want you to think about yourself first . I want you to put yourself first and . All this will require a lot of strength and courage and I know that you have that in yourself I know you can do this I know you have that courage and strength to handle changes . Change is not always bad.

Messages

You are worthy or being loved, love yourself first, balance,change is good,

Thats all I have for you plie 2

Hello plie 3

Cards: king of swords, queen of swords,9 of cups, Queen of wands, the emperor, 4 of swords , Queen of cups

Hi There ...so much I want to say to you right now lets get to the most imp thing first.. Stop letting people walk all over you !!!! Stand up for yoursel . if people think that it is rude of you to stand up for yourself let them think that you are rude but you need to stand up for yourself and not let people that are rude that are hurting you emotionally get away with that you need to be bluntly honest and if it's hurting someone's feelings that is none of your business they should not be rude to you when you are being so kind to them speak for yourself . You have work so hard and achieved many of you goals and you should be celebrating do not let people who are not kind to you ruin your celebrations because you have works so hard for all that you have achieved do not let them walk all over you because you deserve to be appreciated and you deserve to be successful. Successful Peoples speak up for themselves stand for themselves and do not take anybody is crap . You are really creative person who has lot of ideas and lot of things that they want to do in their life but for you to even start something you need to stand up for yourself you need to speak for yourself because without that you cannot even interact with people. In future you are going to be at many leadership roles and that's why you need this quality to make your life easier it's always nights to be a little bit rude when you are bluntly honest then to lie and be nice. We get aware of the things and the people around p around you because not all people are nice summer bluntly manipulative and not nice rude you need to have the ability to see through people's intention. And the last thing that I want to tell you is that you are doing so much and its working for you attend of they everything will be worth it but you also need to rest yourself heel yourself and do some kinds of like activities that help you dress or therapy to you it can be anything just get back into your hobbies rest for a while rest is very important. ✨💌

Messages:

Speak up.! Be honest

That's all that I have for you plie 3 💗

Thank you so much for reading 🐥🐥

#pac #foryou #ask game #tarot #india #spirituality #tarot reading #tarotcommunity #kpop+predictions #kpop astrology #agent twilight #btstarot #tarot tumblr #tarorcards #tarotblr #bts astrology #jennie #blackpink

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meimi-haneoka · 7 months

Text

Cardcaptor Sakura Clear Card Chapter 79: Comments + JP-ENG translation differences

Welcome back to our monthly appointment, CCS fans! This chapter comes right after this month's full moon, the Hunter Moon! (lol yes I will feature the name of the relative full moon till the end of the story). And speaking of the end of the story, I will start this analysis and translation post from the end of the chapter, where I found the confirmation to the rumour that had been going on for hours before the official release on Comic Days:

yes, dear readers, this is not a drill, Cardcaptor Sakura Clear Card Arc will end with chapter 80, after 7 years of serialization! 🎉✨ When *the last chapter* is announced, there's no turning back! No more sudden announcements of extensions! 🥹 But at the moment of writing this post, no mentions have been given about any "epilogue" or extra chapters that might be serialized in the upcoming months leading to the big release of volume 16 on April 1st!

On the translation side, I have to sigh in relief because no major misunderstandings happened in the ENG version, just some minor inaccuracies! I was kinda scared because this chapter is pretty important and complex in itself.

And let me say that what happened in this chapter 79 definitely marks the end of the climax, so I can totally see it ending in next chapter. The chapter tackled some very important thematics regarding the presence of "evil" in this series, that I will talk about extensively in my analysis.

The announcement today made me already a bit nostalgic and sad, but I want to strive hard to accompany myself and all of you towards the end of this arc with excitement and a smile, therefore I won't let myself be prey of the sadness yet and introduce you immediately to the gif of this month, because there's a lot we need to talk about and analyze and we can't waste time!!

This is entirely dedicated to our protagonist and heroine Sakura-chan, because damn, she really slayed this chapter!!! Under the cut to see what miracles she made happen!

The Color Page

My dear readers, after years of countless pleas on my social media, after being let down month after month, CLAMP FINALLY GRANTED ME A COLOR PAGE SOLELY DEDICATED TO KAITO AND AKIHO TOGETHER ON THE SECOND-TO-LAST CHAPTER!! Yaaaay!! Excuse me while I celebrate this event here in my little corner, especially after having a rough month! 🎉🎉🎉 I hope my followers thought of me when they saw it? Like "finally she'll stop asking for it" (breaking news, I'll keep asking for more even after the series is over) 😂 It took them 79 chapters to do so and honestly I'm laughing because....yes, I admit it, I expected another vibe for such an important color page coming after such an important emotional scene in chapter 78, but honestly the first thing I thought when I saw it was "....they had to wait 79 chapters for this? 😧" 😂because it's very very "regular", I think it would've been ok for this to come out long ago. LOL I'm being brutally honest here, I hope no one gets offended, especially because that pet peeve aside, OF COURSE I love this precious color page to bits, and I know under its "normalcy", its got a very important meaning to the both of them.

Akiho and Kaito are depicted together clearly during one of their travels....but the question is, is this from the past? Or the near future? I'd daresay they look the same age they are now, so this might probably be a foreshadowing for the future...? They'll keep travelling the world? But seeing the content of the chapter, this might also be just a call-back to their memories together and everything that they experienced during those travels, tightening their bond. Travelling the world is, after all, really their thing, their element. I really like Kaito's expression, with his usual smile that almost turns into a smirk, he gives off a vibe of being finally free to express his emotions. He looks carefree, and that's really something for him. Akiho, on the other hand, is always so much more expressive than him and you can literally feel the joy and excitement emanating from her delighted expression. Travelling with him makes her happy, so yes, should this be what awaits them in the finale, it's fine by me as long as they're happy (I'm rooting for the other option though, the "stay in Tomoeda with your newfound support network" route).

But as you know, I always have to analyze the color pages a bit deeper, especially when they're about these two. And since I had to keep myself distracted, I made a bit of research. Other than the "travelling" vibe, this illustration gives off also kind of a "vintage" vibe (which is another strong element to Akiho and Kaito). It seems Akiho is dressed in a sleeveless coat with cape and wearing a bonnet fully inspired by those worn by children in the second half of the 1800s, in the Victorian era.

(pic courtesy of Etsy) This is a model from 1896, for example. When I pinpointed the period, I immediately thought "uh, the Victorian era is also the period when Alice in Wonderland came out", although that was more towards the 1860s. I found it really interesting and a nice touch for this illustration with a retro flavor (the suitcase and purse also look kinda vintage).

But another thing that immediately caught my eyes were those cute birds landing on Kaito's shoulder and Akiho's bonnet. I immediately tried to look what kind of birds they are, and it seems like they could really be eastern bluebirds, typical of North America. Searching further, I found out that in several cultures bluebirds are harbinger of happiness and symbols of hope. I couldn't honestly have thought for a more fitting symbolism, for these two. Especially cause birds often are associated with an imagery of freedom, and this is something else that these two need, after being hunted by evil people for so long. They really do look free, in this color page. Also, the presence of the birds in this color page immediately brought me back to the color page of chapter 62, where we can see baby Kaito in a wintery setting, sitting on a lamppost, extending his little hand to a swallow coming to him. Swallows are a symbol of hope and bring a message of "spring is coming", and continuing from that message of hope, of "spring is coming for you too", we can finally see here in chapter 79 our Kaito with his true happiness, symbolized literally by the birds most associated with happiness. Another thing that caught my eyes is of course the lily depicted on the cover of the book Akiho is holding, a nice callback to Akiho's mother and Kaito's torment, Lilie. She's always going to be with them ❤️

The Japanese editorial text over the picture is an excerpt of what Momo was musing to herself in chapter 39, while imagining to talk to Kaito: "You traveled with her, and spent time together with her". I think CLAMP chose to feature this line to indicate an important thing that will be restored at the end of this chapter.

Everyone Is Doing Their Best

The chapter starts with a panel showing some light coming off Yukito's house, and we find out that even Touya fainted, exhausted by the effort to keep time stopped as much as possible. Ruby Moon is cradling his head on her lap trying to assist him and "recharge" his magical power, in hope to be able to maintain time "stopped" a bit more. In fact, if you notice, the "black covering" that symbolizes the time-stopping spell isn't completely destroyed yet, but only riddled with "holes", an indication that the spell is still somehow active, even if feebly. I imagine this might "slow down" the attacks, which are still coming but probably not at full speed like they would if the spell came undone completely. I have to point out immediately a mild inaccuracy in the ENG version, that I want to specify in order to dispel extreme theories before they're born: no, Ruby Moon didn't give up all of her powers to Touya, the verb used here is simply 補える, "can replenish (your magic)", not "give all".

Touya doesn't lose his sense of humor even in a dire situation like this, and comments sarcastically "What are you, a battery?", a clear recall to the whole "batteries" matter that came out in the un-rewritten world. Touya isn't supposed to remember about that, and he probably doesn't, but this is just a way from CLAMP to show that even in a situation where memories have been rewritten, some things will be unconsciously said again, because they're just meant to happen.

Ruby Moon calls for assistance from her "brother" Spinel Sun (love how even in these true forms, she still calls him "Suppy"), whom rejects the appellative of "battery" but agrees to give her a hand with "recharging" Touya to keep the spell up a bit longer. Everyone looks outside, only one thought in their minds, which is voiced clearly by a serious Tomoyo: "Sakura and everyone else are fighting with all they've got". I have to point out a typo here in the Japanese version (nothing serious, it can happen and will be surely fixed in the tankobon version): Tomoyo calls Sakura "Sakura-san". I loved the "sparkles" around Tomoyo's eyes, as if indicating that her extraordinary intuition is "at work" and just telling her that, even if they can't see them because they're quite far away, Sakura and the others are doing whatever they can to stop these attacks. And the fact they can see the attacks, but not their friends and their condition, must be really hard to witness, for all of them. But no worries, there's Touya nii-chan who's always ready to lighten the mood even in this challenging situation, joking that "If they don't get back before the curfew, they won't be getting their snacks tomorrow!". Here the ENG adds "squirt" to make Touya refer specifically to Sakura, but truth to be told, in the JP there's no subject, so he might be referring to everyone. It's amazing how he's able to keep his spirit up and be sarcastic even in this situation....he really believes in his little sister so much!

I'll Make Them Forget About You

Back where our heroes are, the attacks keep coming relentlessly, countered by Syaoran, Yue and Kero in tandem. Sakura reflects on the fact that the only transparent Cards she's got left are these two she's holding in her hands (Time and Rewind) and Flight. This statement leads me to believe that when Record transformed into that crystal that entered her, that meant that the Card completed its duty and disappeared inside of her. But Sakura isn't worried at all, because she knows that she can create more Cards. Yessss, this development that I've been anticipating since quite some time is finally here! ✨🎉 Sakura seems to finally have a concrete plan, but before proceeding, she needs to ascertain something. She asks directly to Kaito: "The people who are using these spells were trying to hurt you, right?". Kaito, with a pensive face, answers affirmatively.

But it's when Sakura asks again "Were they trying to hurt Akiho too?" that his expression turns really painful, the background after him portraying well his raging emotions and, while Mokona-sensei chose to leave Akiho hidden by Kaito's black wings in the previous panels, now she finally shows how both she and Kaito are holding onto eachother, while our boy answers with a "...Yes" dripping with sorrow. It really squeezed my heart with pain, this scene. Because as long as Sakura was asking about him, his expression was pensive but almost as if it's something he's used to, that didn't shake him too much. But when Sakura mentions Akiho, god, that wrecked him. Any mention, any reminescence of what those bastards did to her and how they were chasing after her to put their filthy hands on her again wrecks him even now, and it's like Mokona with her visual skills is showing how Kaito seems to be holding Akiho a little bit tighter, while he answers Sakura's question. I also have to point out something that I had noticed already from last chapter, but a panel tricked me into believing I was just seeing things: CLAMP here use a dark screentone for Kaito's eyes, that he never had before (actually, no other character in CCS got this effect in their eyes). This effect will be used on him for the entire chapter.

And it seems like it's the very same screentone that was used for the dragon. I think this might be an indication that the wings aren't the only reminescence of his dragon appearance!

Sakura shows once again an incredible empathy that allows her to go right to the heart of the issue without investigating much. If Kaito rewrote an entire world, and if it's true that Akiho in the previous world didn't have all the love and familiar support she's got now, it means that she was probably in danger too. And seeing as these people are attacking them now because they freed Kaito from his "punishment", Sakura doesn't really need much to make 2+2 and understand the situation. Sakura believes in Akiho, therefore she believes in Kaito too, and knows that if he came to this point it's because they were in a desperate and dangerous situation.

Showing an incredible insight, Sakura shocks both Kaito and Akiho by asking:

Sakura, JP: "In that case, can I make those people forget about you both?"

Because our girl needs to make sure that the plan she came up with won't have any undesired consequences. But most importantly, she needs to have their consent. She reiterates this once again, actually she will make sure to ask Kaito and Akiho's consent 3 times in total. She says: JP, lit. "If going back to before the world was rewritten will put you through hardships once again, then, can I just make them forget?" Kaito is even more shocked, because he finally understands Sakura's intent. A generous, selfless intent born from a loving heart. Our girl wants to make sure that these two will be safe and sound once she fixes this situation. She can't take risks, because their happiness is all she's really caring for right now. And in his shocked expression, I can also see some kind of "omg YES, PLEASE" vibe. Because probably, having those terrible people forgetting all about them is everything he ever wished, but couldn't achieve. And I think it's really funny how we berated Kaito so much in the past chapters for making Akiho and the others forget facts that happened before and forgetting about him, but here Sakura just takes "inspiration" from him and actually decides to use that same "trick" in the right way. Because it's not fair that it should be them, the abused people, to forget about their most important person, in order to achieve a happy life for at least one of them. It isn't fair and it isn't right that Kaito was driven into making all the mess that he made, pushed by desperation. The abusers, that clan and Association of magicians, should be the ones forgetting.

But this is Cardcaptor Sakura Clear Card's finale, and Sakura definitely hasn't finished with being amazing yet, she actually just started. Her very strong power at this point allows her not only to see things that were difficult before, but also to connect the dots more easily thanks to that renowned instinct that I've always talked to you about, and that she learned to finally listen to.

As if she were seeing through him with X-rays, she confidently affirms that there's a book inside of him, a white book where you can inscribe magic on. And she also knows that that same book was inside Akiho, once. I guess this might be even coming from past memories of the unrewritten world (do you remember when, before the play started, Sakura said that she could feel something inside Akiho?). Akiho of course is shocked to hear that, and from her expression you can almost feel the chill that went down her spine in that moment. Sakura affirms that this book knows both Akiho and Kaito (thanks to the fact that it was inside both of them - something that I've always found painfully heartbreaking but also quite moving, for my ship), and it's got a very strong power inside of it. These will be two crucial things for Sakura's plan. In fact, our heroine is hellbent in attempting something pretty arduous: utilizing that artifact's power to create a new Card. For impartiality, I have to point out that the ENG added (completely on their whim) a "you, her special person" that isn't there in the JP version! Of course it's all the better for me, since they repeat (finally with the right adjective) that Kaito is Akiho's special person, but it's kinda funny that they messed it up so much in the previous chapters, and now they're adding it where there isn't any mention of it!

Sakura will be using a tool that knows the both of them, therefore she is sure that her plan will succeed, because the Card will know what it will need to erase. Sakura asks for Kaito and Akiho's agreement one last time. After hearing how those people wanted to hurt them both and even implanted the same magical artifact inside of her, Akiho is quite resolute and doesn't have any doubt: on with the wiping off! It doesn't matter who those people are, they've tried to harm her most important person and her too, so she doesn't really seem to give a damn about proceeding with this plan. Kaito, on the other hand, seems to be giving a more lackluster affirmative reply, but it's not that he's uncertain: he's just still riddled with guilt for all the mess that he's done, and he's probably realizing that now Sakura will need to put herself on the line in order to fix this and protect both of them, hence his sad face.

Still surfing the confidence wave, Sakura guesses that once those people have forgotten about Akiho and Kaito, then the magic arrows will stop too, and Kaito confirms that: forgetting about the person who had the Seal of D enforced on him will be equal to "undo" both the activation of the Seal itself (when Kaito removed the book from Akiho) and also the rescission of it (what Sakura did when she freed Kaito from the cage). This will therefore stop the arrows too, because the Seal wouldn't have been triggered in the first place. However, Kaito warns her that, although time is still barely "stopped" (because the time-stopping spell is still weakly on), it's necessary an enormous amount of power in order to do what Sakura wants to do. I have to point out another inaccuracy in the ENG translation in this part, which makes Kaito say "before things could get worse" and I have the feeling they misunderstood the word 辛うじて, "barely" or "narrowly", which is also written with the kanji of 辛い, "hard" or "tough". So Kaito isn't saying "before things could get worse" but actually meaning "although time is barely stopped".

Sakura doesn't seem to be scared by Kaito's warning, and activates her wand without a second thought, and immediately we can see that her task wil NOT be easy, as she can feel the strain almost right away.

Here we go with another inaccuracy of the ENG translation:

Sakura, ENG: "Great book, please show yourself! My power alone won't be enough...!" Sakura, JP: "The book....doesn't want to come out. (it's too difficult to pull it out) with just my power..."

Basically, Sakura isn't begging the book to "show itself", she's actually actively trying to pull it out of Kaito, and she's aware that it's opposing a lot of resistance, and her power alone isn't enough to take this damn book out. Sakura refuses to give up, because everyone else is doing their best too. Yes, everyone else.

And that's when CLAMP decided to bring us a big surprise for this finale.

A pair of hands seem to be appearing next to Sakura's, as if a spirit is hugging her from behind. We can see the famous fan that we learned to recognize so well ever since her first appearance in Movie 1. Sakura feels immediately the same magical power of Syaoran surrounding her, and with her instinct she finally recognizes her: it's Syaoran's mother, YELAN!!! We can see her, sweating and all, in her sacred chinese pavilion, lending her power to help in this difficult task.

What a great, welcome surprise for this finale!! You might have heard me saying on Twitter that Clear Card is really a celebration of motherhood, with this constant presence of mothers and mother figures who try to help these kids growing up without removing their right to choose for themselves. And since Yelan is the only mother figure who can concretely help Sakura in this moment, with her immense power, I really loved to see how this woman didn't hesitate to assist her future daugher in law. For any SyaoSaku fan, this scene here is a huge thing. We have seen in the anime how Yelan doted on Sakura ever since she met her in Movie 1, even before her own son realized his feelings for this girl. Yelan and Sakura haven't met in the manga yet (and hello, CLAMP, now this is a good chance for letting that happen, after the madness is over), but the woman didn't hesitate a moment to lend her power. I can really imagine how along these two will get, in the future. ❤️

Sakura thanks her aloud, while her eyes show that she's really really tired. Yelan's assistance is finally effective in summoning the artifact book out of Kaito, and we see again those countless book pages that we saw both when Akiho used to go "berserk", and also in the most heartbreaking scene of chapter 70. Kaito, still holding onto a worried Akiho, seems to suffer physically from this removal, and I can't understand if it's because removing something magical from inside is naturally painful (we've been shown something like that before, Syaoran crouching to the ground in pain while the Sakura Cards were being removed from inside of him) OR if the removal of the artifact also triggered his poor health conditions in which we left him, before he disappeared in chapter 70.

Sakura tries with all she's got and finally manages to turn the artifact into its "true form": a book filled with countless of spells written in strange magic runes.

You have spotted it, right? ☝️ I haven't seen many fandom reactions yet, but I guess this "cameo" made more than one person scream: it's Fay D. Fluorite's tattoo, yes! This page of the "book" is probably describing the procedure to cast that tattoo (which was also a kind of "seal", if I remember correctly). So that spells exists in this CCS world too! 😅 The magic Sakura is weaving starts "working" on the book, literally removing the spells from its pages and turning them back to their original form of magical books (remember that the Squids used to say that they would inscribe "magic books" and their power onto Akiho?).

Then, solemnly, we hear probably for the last time ever the magical incantation that accompanied us in the beginning of the story, used by Sakura to secure the strange manifestations of power into a transparent Card:

ENG: "Force without master, heed the call of my Staff of Dreams and become my power! SECURE!"

The countless of books and all this tremendous amount of power get secured into the birth of a new Card: BLANK!!!

Blank got the human appearance of Akiho, but also the protective wings of Kaito. The girl is holding a book (of course, how perfect for her) which is the representation of the artifact that was inside both Kaito and Akiho. This card is really so meaningful for someone like me who loves Akiho and Kaito. It's representing them united in their suffering (the artifact) but also in the hope for a better future (Akiho is smiling and the Card will be used to grant them safety, away from their abusers). I've always imagined that one of the last Cards Sakura might have produced would have Akiho and Kaito's elements, and here it is.

Also, how AWESOME is that Sakura managed to dispose of that damn artifact and succeeded to use it for Kaito and Akiho's sake, and turned it against the monsters who created it??? HOW. AWESOME. IS. THAT!!!!

Producing the very first consciously created transparent Card sucked almost all of Sakura's power and strength, and she's close to fainting, under the terrified eyes of Akiho, who lets go of Kaito for a moment in a gesture of going towards her "sister". But Sakura isn't done yet, no. She can't give up yet because her job isn't done.

And I Will Make Them Remember About You

Sakura wants for Akiho and the people who care about her (the ENG decided to translate this with "the people SHE holds dear") to remember who Akiho really is. She wants basically to "undo" what the rewriting of the world caused on the people who know Akiho, making them believe that she was born into the Kinomoto family and that she was Sakura and Touya's sister.

After pondering for a while and discussing with my friends over at my Discord server, I decided I'm not gonna go out on a limb and assume things from this decision, because I definitely NEED to read the next chapter to see how much Sakura intends people to remember, with this move. It's really not clear at all, as of now.

Anyway, other translation inaccuracy incoming!

Sakura, ENG: "I'm going to make another new card for that...and I might not have the power to do it alone" Sakura, JP: "It might probably be really difficult to create one more new card with my power, right now..."

As you can see, the nuance is different, because Sakura in the JP addresses how it's almost impossible for her to create another new card in the situation she is in right now, exhausted and all.

That's why, very cleverly, she's going to do something different. (My gosh how proud I am of this girl!!)

Saying "But these two Cards will surely help me", Sakura skillfully manages to merge Time and Rewind to create a new Card, not from scratch (which requires more power) but using what she's already got: and that's how the REMIND Card is born!!! The name of the Card originated by just replacing the "W" of Rewind with the "M" of Time. Ingenious, isn't it???

And as the two Cards merge, they give us lots of flashbacks, like the "effect" used here resembles a lot the one that used to happen when Sakura was changing the Clow Cards into the Sakura Cards back in the old arcs, or how the merging of two Cards seems to also be a callback to how the "card without name" and the "Nothing" merged to create HOPE in the very last minutes of Movie 2! What a nostalgic trip down the memories lane!

And the appearance of this Card is even more touching, because it features Syaoran (with his current age) holding Nadeshiko's pendant watch. I found that so sweet, especially coupled with Yelan's assistance to Sakura in this chapter. Yelan associated with Sakura, and Syaoran associated with Nadeshiko. How sweet. And when you think that even Lilie, Akiho's mother, was associated with Kaito, you really can realize that this is some kind of "theme" that CLAMP seemed to be wanting to portray in this story.

I Can't Be On Everyone's Side

And now, the scene that I think is worth the whole chapter, but probably the whole Clear Card Arc in its entirety. As usual, with important scenes, I'll use the literal translation from Japanese:

Sakura, JP: "It might not be right that there'll be people who will forget things (after this), but....I can't be everyone's friend/ally/can't be on everyone's side. So I won't go back...but actually, along with the people important to me... I WANT TO GO ON"

Wow. Let that sink in.

Sakura, of Cardcaptor Sakura, just came to the realization and spelled out clearly that she cannot be on everyone's side. That she cannot be "everyone's friend", like in a cheesy fairytale.

And I really, really, want to thank CLAMP-sensei for this scene and this line because for a period, long time ago, I was worried that this story would go down the "let's be friends" or "let's show sympathy to them" route. But as the chapters continued and the things CLAMP told us about the Association and the Squids were more and more cruel, and they made me more and more sick, I started to realize that there was simply no way CLAMP could've had Sakura try to justify or compromise with them. Because when cruelty is real, there's no compromise to be made.

This scene also shows how Sakura realizes for the first time ever that in her world, contrary to what we all believed previously, evil exists. It might not touch her or her "entourage" directly (and she's really blessed for that), but it exists out there and it's hurting people, people who can also become really important to her. And she decides to not stand idly by, blessed as she is with the luck of not experiencing that evilness, but actually using whatever it is in her power to bring those suffering people to safety.

Sakura cannot fight those people on equal terms. She's just 13, and although her power is very strong, she's still inexperienced. Moreover, she cannot really bring herself to deny her current nature and use violence on other human beings. That's not Sakura. I want you guys to reflect on this because I know that one of the favorite things expected for this finale was to have a direct magical confrontation with the true villains of this arc, defeating them and restablishing the peace. And I am sincere when I say that I would've wished for the same too, because you know how much I love Kaito and Akiho, and how much I was disgusted to read about what they did to them. I've spread my "burn the squids" gifs all over the fandom. I wanted someone to vindicate them. But not here. Not in this manga. I realized that after the initial satisfaction, I would've probably felt like the series would've been "defiled". And that's exactly what happens when you answer to violence with more violence.

Sakura just could not go hunting those bastards down and defeat them in a magical battle. Because, powerful and corrupted in their greed as they are, the only way to "fix" this situation would've been to exterminate them. I just could not picture this story to cross that boundary, no matter how much the bar had already been raised well over what we initially thought.

So, if someone out there is disappointed by this outcome, I'm sorry for you, but it was just not meant to be and I'm actually really glad that this series kept true to its fundamental values. Of course it would, CLAMP really do care about this series and they know very well how far to push the plot, and when to actually stop.

So what is the role of Akiho's clan and the Magic Association in this story, especially considering that we never saw their faces at all? Talking with lots of fans in these years, especially Japanese, I've come to the conclusion that they are not in this story to fill the "villain that needs to be deafeated" role, but actually they're a representation of abusive families that smother and suffocate their children with expectations, completely disregarding those children's natural inclinations, and abuse them when they do not meet such expectations, but also the society as a whole, that looks at you only basing on how it can take advantage of you. Which is exactly what happened to Akiho and Kaito, driving them to very dark places. The absence of faces for those characters makes it possible for the readers to see the Squids and the Association as the representation of whatever environment they relate the most to. It can be family, society, school, workplace etc... It also helps us focusing on their actions, rather than their faces, and not attribute any prejudice to them (because of religion, race, skin color, or whatever other attribute they could have).

Seeing as the story treats them more like a concept, than an actual entity, it's basically impossible for Sakura to defeat them (and their great power is an indication of that impossibility). Just like in real life, darkness will always exist, along with light. Good and evil will always be side by side. It's bigger than any of us. Then, what can we do, in a situation like this? What Sakura is choosing to do, here, is not to confront directly with violence these people who are way out of her league, and not even to sit back and look, but actually finding a way to make them forget about her friends and keeping her friends safe, granting them the possibility of living a happy life, finally away from the darkness of the past, healing the wounds on their souls together with the people they love and who love them back. Because even if you've been abused in the past, you can still hope for a happy life.

The focus here is all on helping the abused people. And Sakura, in order to do that, is okay with coming to terms with the fact that she can't be on everyone's side, and she needs to choose. In the end, the thing that really matters the most is to GO ON with your most important people. Not going back to what is lost, but going forward. And I know that this is such a CLAMP theme, and I'm glad that they reiterated it in this arc. When I say that Clear Card brought Sakura so much more closer to what's usual for CLAMP, I mean this.

The panel with Sakura raising her staff and shouting she wants to go on is absolutely beautiful, with those wings growing so big and unleashing Sakura's power in a storm of cherry blossom petals.

Sakura is exhausted, she finally reached her limit by using her ultimate magic. As she faints, her eyes just make it in time to catch a glimpse of her prince, the love of her life grabbing tightly his girlfriend's hand, to not let her fall, while the watch of Remind and the book of Blank do their job in the background. And I really loved this spread too, because even if it's not a conventional romantic scene made of physical display of love, this in my opinion is even more powerful. Many were reminded of Tsubasa, but I was also reminded of the long time those two spent unable to touch one another, and this scene here seems like a catharsis for that hardship they went through. Syaoran will always catch Sakura everytime she falls, he will always be there to grab her hand, no matter if he can really touch her or not. Cause his love is stronger than any kind of impediment. He will always be by her side, no matter what. When she's exhausted by her heroine's duties, she knows that she can always count on him to support her.

And speaking of "always be by her side", I just can't avoid mentioning how Akiho and Kaito stayed "glued" to eachother for the entire duration of this chapter, protecting and supporting one another. Kaito, in particular, kept holding Akiho even as Sakura's magic was hurting him like hell, because it was extracting the book from him. Even in excruciating pain, he did not let go of Akiho, intent in protecting her and keeping her safe in his hold. Akiho let go of him just for a moment when she was scared out of her mind for Sakura, but went back to him when she saw that her "sister" was hellbent in completing her task no matter what. Kaito, as the good "moon boy" he is, is someone who shows his feelings through his actions rather than words, just like Syaoran. And his constant grip on Akiho in this chapter, such an opposite act compared to how he used to stop his hand everytime it started reaching out to her, told me all that I needed to know about him: she's his most important person, and he will never let go of her, ever again.

Sakura wakes up in her bed. The scene is a direct parallel with an almost identical scene in chapter 3, as you can see here:

Kero is next to her and is relieved to see her awake, so he goes to shout in the hallway, directed to Touya, that Sakura is finally awake. Sakura seems a bit surprised to see Kero talking so nonchalantly with her brother, and he tells her that he chatted with him back at Yukito's house, together with Suppy, so I guess now he finds it "natural" to talk to her brother too! 😂 I'm kinda glad to know that, I like this "change of relationship", compared to the old series (and it was also kinda long overdue).

Sakura opens the palm of her hands and she finds the Dream Key, still intact and all. She also asks about Remind and Blank, and Kero confirms to her that she was able to use them successfully! Sakura is absolutely delighted to hear that, and says "We were able to go on!"

And thaaaaaaat's how the second-to-last chapter of Cardcaptor Sakura Clear Card ends! Solving a lot of the pending situations, but still leaving some secondary questions that will surely find a (more or less) detailed explanation in the final, next chapter. And well, we also have to prepare to not have ALL the answers to ALL the questions we might have. This is usual for CLAMP, and especially in their Spaces they never made it a secret that they love for their fans to wreck their brains over theories and imagining the characters' future after a series is over. They love for the fans to give their interpretations to things, they encourage that a lot (also because it creates more long-lasting engagement with their series).

Alas, I expect they'll leave something in particular to everyone's interpretation, but we'll see. 😅

Overall, I really loved this chapter and it was really emotional for me. I think it's fitting for a "climax". Sakura was ABSOLUTELY running the show and after this I dare anyone to say that she isn't the main character of her story. She pushed her limits, and even questioned her own morality in doing so. What a wonderful thing. She reminded me so much of Sakura-hime when she shooted all those monsters in order to take the precious egg, back in the Acid Tokyo arc of Tsubasa. She knew she was doing something bad, but her wish to do everything needed in order to "have him back" was stronger than anything else. And she made her own choice. Here, Sakura, on a smaller scale, made her own choice too.

Now, I hope in the last chapter we'll be granted the possibility to delve a bit more into Kaito and his thoughts, I need to see his character development, I need to see that he learned something from this. That he -at least- started to interrogate himself over the nature of his feelings for Akiho. I know it's reasonable to think that with him, things will take looooong time, but as least show me the signs. Because I need to know that Akiho will be truly happy with him (I know she will!), and she can only be if he's learned to be honest with himself. And learned what Lilie meant with the last conversation we saw between them.

Also, WHERE'S MOMO, I NEED TO SEE MOMO BEFORE THIS ENDS!!

Okay, this is probably the longest post I ever did but I think as the second-to-last chapter it deserved to have some big thematics explored in depth, because they're very important. I'm still pondering if I should divide the post of the final chapter in two because, in addition to even more pages, I expect there'll be soooooooooo much to talk about (cross your fingers with me that there won't be any translation mistake).

I also hope there'll be room for an epilogue or a couple of extra chapters, to help us coping with the separation in a more gradual way, cause after 7 years it's quite hard. I was curious to see the end, of course, but also not entirely ready to let this wonderful story go. I really, really enjoyed it and I say this from the bottom of my heart. I don't care what everyone else thinks, I can only be grateful to CLAMP for Clear Card Arc. 🙏

Chapter 80, along with all the tears that will come with it, is expected to be uploaded on November 29th on CLAMP's Youtube channel. Yes, it's less than a month away! I also expect some news about the anime (BLESS THE ANIME!! Something to cling onto when the manga is over 😭).

Well, see you at the end of November (please come to hold my hand cause I cannot do this alone, lol) !!!

#cardcaptor sakura #card captor sakura #ccsakura #clear card arc #ccs spoilers #sakura card captor #chapter 79 #sakura kinomoto #akiho shinomoto #yuna d. kaito #syaoran li #translation differences

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callaei-researches · 1 year

Text

Intercultural and cross-linguistic perspectives on whump genre - information, interview registration of interest form

I can now announce more information about my upcoming research on whump / whump interest! ✨✨✨

As part of my research thesis for my Masters of Contemporary International Studies, I am conducting research on "Intercultural and cross-linguistic perspectives on whump genre."

This study has been approved by the Research and Development Committee of IPU New Zealand Tertiary Institute. The approval was made on the 3rd of May, 2023.

This research two participation opportunities:

- A questionnaire (open Thursday 1st June, 9pm (NZST) - Thursday 29th June, 9pm (NZST))

- An interview (throughout June-July)

For the purpose of this research, to participate in the questionnaire and/or in the interview, you must:

be at least 18 years old

be interested in, or have an appreciation for, whump in fictional stories

Additionally, as the interview explores whump through the perspective of different languages, for the interview you must also:

be bilingual (i.e. at least conversationally proficient in two or more languages)

Note: Participants are not required to consider themselves a part of the whump community in order to participate in this study.

Interview information ---------------

Interview participants will be given two options to choose between:

a spoken interview, conducted via Zoom; or

a written interview, conducted via Tumblr direct messaging, or an alternative direct messaging application as agreed upon by the researcher and participant.

Spoken interviews will be recorded. Spoken interview participants are not required to have video turned on during the interview. The researcher will contact interview participants following interview participant selection to schedule a suitable time for spoken interviews.

For any written interviews conducted via Tumblr direct messaging, the researcher will use the Tumblr handle @callaei-researches or @callaei-researches-interview (for direct messaging) to communicate with the participant.

Interview - Registration of interest form -------------

If you are interested in participating in the interview, please fill in the form below! (same link as the top of the post)

Additional information -------------

This research defines whump as, "Whump is a genre of fiction that places emphasis on a character's physical and emotional experience of pain, and often recovery, in a story."

Important things to note about the research (see the information sheets under the "keep reading" for detailed information):

- this is an academic research project (Master's research thesis)

- the questionnaire is entirely anonymous

- the interview requires a means of direct communication with the researcher, but this information will not be shared. In the research, interviewees will be referred to as "Interviewee 1," "Interviewee 2," etc.

- responses are entirely voluntary, and you may withdraw at any time during the research period

- any personally identifying information will be kept confidential and accessible only to myself (the researcher) and my research supervisor.

Detailed information -------------

More information about the questionnaire, the interview, and the registration of interest form can be found here. These will be also given at the beginning of the questionnaire, the registration of interest form, and to all participants selected for the interview.

Questionnaire information sheet

Interview information sheet

Interview - Registration of interest information sheet

If you have any questions, feel free to ask!

#whump research #whump interest research #whump survey #whump community #whump interest survey #information sheets

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miamochi-writes · 1 year

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Hi there! I recently discovered you and love your blog! It’s so cute! Also your Knives x reader got me feeling things 😍 I love how you describe their playing! Please tell me we get a part 2 for it?🥹

A/n: Hi! These are some of the many asks I’ve gotten on making a continuation for the Like Crazy Knives post I did. I’m surprised there was such a demand (8 people asking or messaging me for this)! So without further ado, part 2 ✨ Here's a link to Part 1 of Like Crazy

It had been days since Knives issued out his order of finding Y/n to his men and followers. He was determined to find their location and wanted updates constantly on any signs or clues that might lead to them. Knives would gladly use his blades to show no mercy on anyone who was unwilling to cooperate or spotted any signs of laziness. Even Legato and Con'rad weren't safe from the plant's fury despite being his closest allies.

In the meantime, Knives would meet with Y/n in their dreams. Whether it be comforting them through talking or the usual piano sessions, Knives savored each moment. He longed and needed their companionship. Y/n and their dream was his sanctuary from all the humans he had to tolerate with. Some days, Y/n showed up much more lively with that sparkle in their eyes. Yet, there were days when they could barely play a few notes. Or worse, there was no dream meet up for the night. When that happened, Knives knew the humans were doing more unethical experiments on Y/n, and would yell at his men to look and investigate harder.

But when Knives did meet Y/n in their dreams, he was always welcomed with:

"Knives, you're here again!"

"Knives, let's do a duet together. I've been practicing!"

"As long as you're here with me, I can keep going."

"Let me listen to you Knives, it comforts me."

Each time Knives heard or saw Y/n, a huge weight was lifted off his shoulders temporarily. It meant they were still alive and holding on as best as they can for him. Who knew such a presence affected the blonde plant this much? So far, Y/n hadn't been able to find any clues on where their whereabouts were. Regardless of each day, they never gave up on looking. But Knives knew Y/n would tell him immediately if they ever found something that could lead to their location.

Just like any other night, Knives was just finishing playing with Y/n in the serene and colorful meadow as they always did. As he was about to hit the last few notes, he could spot the dream starting to fade slowly. Y/n already let out a sigh as they hit the last few notes. They looked to him and leaned their head on his left arm.

"It's time to go already huh?" they asked as Knives pulled Y/n close to his side. He exhaled and gave them a slight squeeze as he looked at their e/c eyes.

"Unfortunately, but know that I'm not giving up on finding you. My men are searching as we speak. In fact, I was informed that after exploring certain areas, we narrowed our search to three regions. We found some ships, but they were either empty long ago or housed other creatures," Knives spoke. Y/n smiled at him as their sullen mood shifted to a more excited aura.

"That's great news to hear! I'm still keeping my eyes and ears peeled on where I'm at. In fact, I overheard I might have another human observe me during tests. I'm going to see if I can get any information out of them," they added.

"All I ask is that you stay cautious and be strong. Until we meet again, Y/n," Knives answered as he held onto them one more time. Y/n looked at them with that smile of theirs that brought Knives a sense of comfort. They held his hand and gave a quick gentle squeeze.

"I will, because one day we will meet and I won't have to wake up to anymore experiments again. Until then, wait for me Knives," they finished as they faded away. Knives opened his eyes as he saw his familiar piano room once more. His arms were empty again as he clenched his fists. The plant got up and left the room. He called out for Legato and demanded updates and the status of the search once more.

~*~

Two days had passed and Knives was in a sour mood. He was informed that one of his followers found a ship the next day after meeting with Y/n. But alas, it only contained corpses of humans and dependent plants. Later on that evening, Knives tried to dream but he kept waking up to his piano room. He played vigorously on the piano keys to vent off his frustrations and worries. Each note resonated within the walls of his headquarters. Anyone that heard the music, knew to braces themselves for the rough night ahead.

By the second night, Knives decided to fall asleep earlier as his only update was that his men were moving towards west of JuLai city. When he closed his eyes, he hoped that he wouldn't wake up to the same room. Once 5 minutes passed, the blonde opened his eyes he smiled after seeing the serene meadow once again. Before he could make his way to the usual meetup spot, he heard a familiar voice call out to him.

"KNIVES! KNIVES!"

Knives turned around to see Y/n running towards him. His eyes furrowed as this was a first, yet he could hear the sense of urgency in their voice. Y/n grabbed onto his shoulders as he steadied them by holding their arms.

"Y/n, what's wrong?" he asked as the fellow plant was catching their breath.

"I was able to find a clue Knives! The new crew member that was observing me...I got information Knives!" they spoke while trying to catch their breath. Knives was in complete shock as he held tightly onto Y/n as their eyes widened from this information.

"What do you know Y/n?" he demanded as Y/n nodded.

"I was able to over their conversation while they were testing me. This human said he transferred over from one of the many cities nearby to the ship I'm in. He said he travels on this thing called a Thomas every day to get to this place. But the last thing I heard was they can hear the steamer when outside," Y/n explained as Knives started piecing things together.

"Y/n, I think I know where you might be. Thank you for finding that out! I'll have my men search immediately!" he answered with the biggest smile creeping in. But the moment did not last long as the meadow started fading immediately. The plant was shocked as Y/n was starting to panic.

"They're waking me up to do more tests Knives. That's why I haven't been able to meet as much. They've been conducting more since the new person showed up. Please hurry and find me Knives!" Y/n called as they held onto his hands tightly in fear of being separated once more.

"Y/n! I'm coming for you! Stay strong for me," he called out as Y/n started to fade away. Knives reached his hand out towards them in desperation before they both faded. Knives jolted awake as he saw the piano he slept on earlier. He then left the room and sped towards Legato to share the new information he received. Everyone tensed at the plant's presence as they were shocked to see him up.

"Everyone check for ships near the Hopeland Orphanage and the Terminal area this instant. That's an order!" Knives called out as everyone scattered into their positions.

~*~

After giving commands, Knives went back to the piano room to play more musical pieces that crescendoed gradually. He instructed everyone not to bother him unless they found the ship or any leads that could take him to his destination. Knives was filled with anticipation just thinking that he finally found something that would lead him closer to Y/n. Oh how he couldn't contain his emotions as they flowed through each note and chord. It wasn't until sunset that Con'rad knocked and entered into the piano room.

"We found a ship Northeast of the Terminal. Legato said he spotted a few people walking in and out from it. He managed to spot on of their ID cards that said Ship 8," the doctor informed as Knives smirked.

"So, we finally found it. I'll be on my way then," Knives spoke as he closed the piano and dawned on his cloak.

~*~

Legato brought Knives to the ship that was concealed between multiple dunes in the desert. Legato forced the door open with his abilities, as Knives walked inside. The ship alarm went off as people were panicking inside. The plant couldn't stand of the incessant noise as he used his blades to silence them once and for all. Some of the humans brought out weapons to defend themselves, but Knives merely scoffed as he continued to walk. Meanwhile, Legato would take care of the crew members and force open every door they passed by. Knives glanced at each room to find the usual bedrooms. He kept walking deeper inside the ship until he spotted three people guarding one room.

"Stay back! Just what do you want from us?!" one of them yelled.

"Where are your plants?" Legato asked.

"You can't have them! We spent years of research just keeping them alive. We're so close to making a breakthrough!" another one argued as Knives figured he must be getting closer. The plant whipped his blades at the humans while Legato forced open the door. Inside were several dependents plants resting in their chambers. Further down was another room. Knives felt something calling out to him the closer he walked to the room. Once Legato forced open the door, inside was another human and behind him was a confinement cell that consisted of lost technology. But inside, Knives saw a passed out figure that he's come to recognize instantly and gently spoke, "Y/n"

"Y-y-you want them? Here! Take 'em! Just please spare me! I was only following orders!" the human begged as he pressed a button that seemed to unlock the cell Y/n was in. This had to be one of the people that subjected Y/n to all those tests. Knives glared at him and cast multiple sharp tendrils to silence the human as he stepped inside the cell. The plant slowly reached his hand to Y/n and brushed off a few stray hairs from their face. Oh he couldn't believe he finally found the one person in his dreams. He then noticed their breathing was slow, but their chest slowly rose and fell steadily.

Knives gently picked up Y/n in his sturdy arms, bridal style. Y/n was light and frail but they had all the qualities that the blonde grew fond of. Knives finally got what he came for as he motioned to Legato that his business here was done. Legato walked out of the room first to clear the path in case oany other humans attacked. As the plant took a few steps, Y/n began to stir as Knives stopped in his tracks. His sky eyes met their e/c eyes widen.

"Knives? Is that really you? Am I dreaming?" Y/n spoke softly as they reached their hand to touch the blonde's face smiled.

"Yes Y/n, it is. And no, this is reality. I finally came for you. We're leaving this ship together," he replied with a genuine smile. Y/n's eyes lit up and wrapped their other hand behind their neck.

"I never thought I'd see the day where you finally rescue me from this place. Thank you for never giving up on me Knives," Y/n spoke as they held on tightly to the plant. Knives leaned in closely to Y/n's face as he rested his forehead onto theirs. He was savoring this very moment, while reassuring them that they were now safe under his care.

"I should be thanking you for helping me find you through those dreams. Now let's go to your new home. Far away from this place where you'll never be experimented on again by these pesky humans," he cooed and placed a gentle kiss on their forehead. He looked again to see a pink blush dusted on their cheeks as Y/n fondly looked at them. They nuzzled their head onto his neck as Knives continued to walk towards the exit. Finally, Knives was able to accomplish one of his goals of saving a fellow dear plant. No more anxiously waiting to see Y/n temporarily through dreams or agonize over whether they would show up or not. No more seeing them in pain or constantly worry about their time being limited. Now, he was finally united with his beloved Y/n as he intended to never let them go or be separated anymore. Now, his loneliness was replaced with the warmth that Y/n brought as Knives looked forward to spending more uninterrupted time with them in his humble abode.

#knives millions #millions knives #million knives x reader #millions knives x reader #millions knives x you #millions knives x y/n #knives x y/n #knives x you #knives x reader #trigun stampede #trigun x reader #trigun stampede x reader

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