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ur-mousey · 2 months

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If you’re doing requests could you write smth smutty with jeffery from class of 09 x female reader w some dubcon

Benzo-Addict ~

Yandere! Jeffery x F! Reader

Part Two, Part Three *Contains Smut, in progress

summary Drugs have always been your friend. A source of courage and tonight's no different. Now it's time to fuck a nerd. Hope your BF understands. 1.8k

warning college AU, mature, non-con, heavy drug use, hostage situation, violence.

..............................

** Choice ** Head home, hang in the res quad with the other losers, or hot box it in a classroom with Nicole and Jecka. * click *

>>>

"Nicole, what the fuck is a benzosexual exactly?" Your head whipped to the side at record speed. "Sounds... not good?" You popped a chip in your awaiting mouth. The salt and tang collided on your tongue. A moan then threatened to emerge with each solid crunch. But, you'd held it at bay.

"I feel like we had this conversation before..." Nicole mused through a hit of the shared joint. With a sigh, smoke mingled between the girls, whispering with the dust flurries kicked up through their shuffling.

The classroom you all snuck into felt stiff and desolate, a reminder of how teachers truly made the space. Professors rotate, and it's wholly evident. The walls remained bare through full seasons and multiple decades. Autumn fades without color and Spring rises to meet its end.

This educational prison stood in the glory of its bareness, except for the singular doodle of Homer Simpson on the whiteboard. And the desks were neatly arranged, bolted down into place. Only the chairs beckoned students to sit. They awaited for the next class’s arrival. However, it being a Friday afternoon meant that classes seldom came to these halls

"It's because we had." Jecka retorted before gesturing to you, "She just wasn't here for it."

Nicole scoffed, "Sucks for her that she missed all the pedophiles and rapists, and now we're stuck with molesters and rapists who don't go after minors' asses."

Jecka puffed her chest up before sighing dramatically. "Remind me, why are you still Hitler? Grow out of it."

“I’ve grown -obviously- because I can’t call every man a pedophile in relation to me. Your whore sister, in 6th grade, she’s surrounded by them by the dozen… See!? Development, bitch.”

"Okay, Nicole equals Hitler, but what's a benzosexual?" You urged the pair on. You felt your phone buzz in your back pocket. But you decided to ignore it for now.

"Someone attracted to the unconscious," Jecka twirled her fingers. A singular strand glowed too brightly in the setting sun. "There was just this dumb jock named Kylar at our high school who was constantly -and I mean it, constantly- putting weird shit in girls drinks."

"Isn't that illegal? Like, report him."

"He played lacrosse," Nicole muttered. "Reporting it wouldn't do shit. Sports players get molested all the time by their grimy coaches, and it’s the girl's fault.”

You reached for another glorious bite, munching on it with deliberate ease. "Truly the Pessimist," You hissed through gritted teeth. Nicole's stare momentarily flashed to your face, eyes redden and lazy, smoke swirling out her nose, before she leaned further in.

"It's Jeffery, huh?"

Your phone was currently blowing itself shitless. The silence whirled with a frenzy of buzzes. All from your ex-lab partner, you'd assumed. Not a single moment was left undominated by his insistence for your attention. Jeffery needed a response to whatever you didn't care for. Up, the buzzing went, utilizing your spinal cord as a wooden ladder. The vibration climbed through your veins, propping its feet between your bones.

You retrieved your phone. 20 missed calls and 50+ texts.

"Forget creeps like Kylar when there's Jeffery. God couldn't even keep him away from us."

Jecka cackled as she leaned her chin upon your shoulder. "Good luck playing into his fetish. Being his... mommy!? And all. Meow~"

You flushed all red, "Don't read it!"

Jecka teased you unabashedly about Jeffery. You made the mistake of defending him after the first week of classes. To you, he was just a smart guy, albeit a little bit socially awkward. Scratch that: he's a lost cause in social interactions. It wasn't horrendous or anything. It made talking to him before stress-free. Now it's a different story.

Jeffery was immensely helpful to your 90 average in Environmental Science. He demonstrated class problems repeatedly until you held comprehension of the subject. There were times he had crossed the lines of your acquaintanceship. One random Monday, Jeffery gave a hentai DVD to you and a notebook that explained his depraved inner thoughts; 'I love watching 40-feet cat women step on guy's penises. The sight made my hand go faster till total completion.'

And frankly, you didn't want to know that. Jeffery, the weird otaku obsessed with NaruParty13, whom you felt bad for, proved to be a complete freak.

With your first semester ending, you closed the chapter of being his lab partner. In came new housing, with your boyfriend and away from the dorms, and less frequent trips to the dining hall, which meant fewer interactions with Jeffery. For literal fuck sake, you shared zero classes together, nor were you a part of the same major. Your paths strayed from one another. You entertained small talk here and there when it felt inevitable. Any sane person would let this lack of relationship go. Not Jeffery.

"I'm not playing into anyone's kinks aside from my own." You stuck your tongue out, shoving Jecka away.

"And sometimes your sleaze boyfriend."

"Yeah, 'cause I'm perfect 10 with a high libido." You mocked, matching your pitch to Jecka's. "And Cody's not a total sleaze."

Nicole tapped your shoulder with the joint in hand, "He's as depraved as any other man. Hence the usage of the word total."

** Choice ** Snatch the weed, or confront Jeffery. * click *

>>>

You could deal with Jeffery another day.

You were like a kite soaring through the sky. Your mind fell far into a different plane of existence than your own, but you didn't mind. The world was spinning. And, if you were in a room, you couldn't tell. No amount of stable ground could keep your feet stationed. Your vision was decorated in fuzz and pixels. And, in a twist of fate, you thought yourself tumbling forward.

You had taken it. Nicole's shit- that joint was strong as fuck. The first drag knocked your chest back in reverie. Yet you kept ripping. By the time you had left campus, you were inflicted with giggles, and you'd remained starry-eyed throughout dinner.

Then came the Friday night club scene. You downed shots like a bad bitch. Ghandi would be proud.

>>>

You stumbled through the shared flat with Cody. Your lips entangled with each other in battle. His hands groped your hips and pinched its flesh with fervent joy. His lips were chapped and his tongue held the remnants of beer. You enjoyed its taste against the mint of your gum.

Your boyfriend pulled away. Your name breached passed moans and whines, sobering your tequila-filled belly slightly. "Babe, please grab the Percocet... In the cabinet." Cody damn near whined. You nodded furiously, and your brain rattled against your skull.

He smacked a sloppy kiss on your forehead before shooing you away.

** Choice ** Sober up with water, or take a dive into prescription pill wonderland. * click *

>>>

And down the hatch, the Percocet goes.

>>>

"You... you little shi- Fuck!"

Cody? Was that you?

His words felt miles away and your head ached. You knew Cody was crying really ugly. Was he talking to you? Were you dying? You were neither here nor there. And faintly, you registered the sound of skin impacting skin. It was unmistakable.

Cody screeched, "That hurts dipshit!"

"You ruined her. People ruined her," A disembodied voice spoke over you. You groaned, head swirling with more things than one. Could it be a dream? Where were you? How were you here? If you opened up your eyes, would you be able to see? "She was absolutle... Beauty! A perfect girl rivaling those of the anime girls in Doki Doki Daisuke.

It was as if God answered my prayers and brought her to life in front of me. That's who she is to me -perfect as the day I met her... Before she met mean girls like Nicole. And, before she allowed you to defile her."

"Fuck," Cody screeched. "What the hell are you talking about!? We were dating before that whore, Nicole!" Who are you talking to?

Cody? I'm scared. I can't... get out of my own head.

His voice continued. "Look man, she was never going to be with you. We started going steady in high school. You were some bizarre loser, a complete neet, who got assigned as her lab partner. For fuck sake, she would've ignored you still without me or her friends. You are just a nuisance who can't take no for an answer! Is this your final attempt to get her to look at you!? Huh... HUH!? Well? Is it working? Does she see you now? Fuck no -she's unconscious! Guess who you're talking to? ME!!!"

Fingers carded over your scalp, itching at your crown. You tingled all over, and the coldest breath ghosted over your cheeks. "I would treat her better. I would put her on a pedestal that rivals Yuno Gasai, whom I believe to be the sluttiest and most desirable anime girl."

Was that voice Jeffery? You managed to whine at that, and you were promptly shushed -consoled like a child.

"She's like this because of you. You're supposed to protect her. What boyfriend allows his girlfriend to get this drugged out."

Silence.

Cody? Are you still there? Like actually, there? I don't understand. Why is this happening? What even is happening to me?

After a while, your boyfriend tsked, "She's a fucking addict, and it is hot as shit. Imagine what a drugged-up slut would do to please you."

Pause.

"Besides, You aren't at all above it. Don't act like you're better than me. Ain't it true that you roofie bitches? Hehe, now you're coming after my druggie girlfriend. Some SHIT!!"

"Y'a know, you talk too much," Jeffery whispered. And you found the strength within yourself to peel your eyes open. You were home. The few nicknacks you displayed glared into your retinas. Once, twice, it felt unbearable to blink. Your gaze started at the carpet, swooping to the left then the right, along the walls, and down to center

Your boyfriend's stared back at you. Then came the...

Screams.

You hadn't comprehended the missing beats of Cody's responses until then. In that state of limbo, words tied together rhythmically. Now, each plea and wail came out differently past battered lips. He begged you to run through swollen tongues and lisps.

Each pause was a catch of breath. Cody's chest rose and fell in quick succession. His face was bloodied. Swirled vermillion, slathered by a pair of hands. Where the original wound is, you couldn't tell. It was all over the place. Ropes circled his chest, soaking up red, and kept him strapped to a wooden dining chair.

"Co-" You sputtered. You couldn't stop the onslaught of coughs that inched its way up your throat. Before you could say anything more, Jeffery's palm smashed against your mouth. He finally gained your attention, all while waving a knife around.

"My darling sweetheart," Jeffery cooed with adoration. "I'll handle the trash. Go back to sleep. I was just about to silence him."

You wanted to vomit. You hoped that the acidity would transport you to a reality where you were kneeling over a toilet. Or a bush, fuck it. It could be anywhere than this. You'll take on hang-over Central despite any day over this. You'll say fuck drugs and then by next week, you're on it again.

You just couldn't stay away from Percs and Robo.

Jeffery's appearance was disheveled, a stark contrast from what you were accustomed to. His hair was overgrown and unkempt with inky strands that poked from every angle. It was utterly impossible to look away. His crazed eyes darted across your face, searching within you for something you weren't sure you had to offer.

He turned from you, speaking to Cody. "Stop screaming! I'll gut you if you interfere."

** Choice ** Figure out what's next, or miss part 2, bitch. * click *

.............................. Thank you for reading! Please leave ideas in the comments! Request rules are here! I overestimated once again how fast I could write. And my new job is so exhausting, I'm constantly on my feet. But part two will be out soon 🥳 I promised a creampie, and that will happen. This is just the setup. I got too invested in the plot.

>>> NEXT CLASS OF 09' POST: Benzo-Addict part 2

Due to the nature of the game, I tried writing differently than what I consider normal. But I had so much fun writing for this fandom. It'll be so entertaining to write up my toxic lesbian idea next. 🫣 Hope you guys like my work, and go check out my pinned post for more fanfic!!!!!

#class of 09 #class of 09 the re up #jeffery class of 09 #nicole class of 09 #jecka class of 09 #jeffery x reader #yandere x reader #male yandere x reader #yandere smut #college au #yandere #yandere otaku #tw drugs #tw noncon

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maxislvt · 1 year

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https://www.tumblr.com/maxislvt/718963485407576064/pervy-student-wanda-thats-constantly-bothering

oh this! her accidentally blushing her hand against your bulge or sneaking into the teachers bathrooms just to corner professor!r

warnings: smut, unspecified age gap, amab!reader

she's such a freak and a pervert, I have Thoughts about her

She isn't the slightest but shy about her feelings for you and all her friends have to suffer the consequences. I just imagine her as one of those people that call their older crushes like "blorbo" and shit like that. All her friends think she's fucking delusional 😭

wanda: they're so babygirl with their little coffee order and pastry :(

natasha: are you aware that your "babygirl" pays taxes

sam: I hope they're married with at least 3 kids

wanda: I'll be a great stepmom!

You can tell Wanda has feelings for you, but don't really say anything. You've been teaching for so long that you just accept that at least one person you teach is going to want a relationship with that's not entirely appropriate, even if it's just them wanting to be friendlier than they should.

A lot of Wanda's Deranged is from a distance at first. Maybe you caught vulgarly offering you a blowjob but it was in the middle of class and there were 50 other people in the room so you assumed she was joking around into her friends. (it was entirely directed at you)

After a while, she gets really bold and decides to be more up front. However, she's completely insane so this manifests as her "accidentally" sending you a very detailed love letter in place of a writing assignment. You're flustered as all hell but find it actually impossible to stop reading. It's so horny that you end up rock hard by the end of it.

You just email Wanda telling her to resend the proper assignment and don't mention it. Wanda can tell you've read because you can't even look at her. She takes this as you just being shy so she just keeps pressing your buttons. Her clothes get tighter, more revealing, and a lot shorter. You're ashamed to admit it catches your attention every time. Wanda comes to your office hours and you're absolutely useless because you're just a stuttering mess

Wanda can only wait so long before her perverted tendencies get to the best of her. That's exactly how you end up fucking her over your desk the first time. It's literally the last time you have any control in that relationship. You were just so pent up and frustrated — it seemed like the best solution in a weird way

Obliviously giving her what she wants doesn't make her stop. Wanda just wiggles her freaky little way into your heart and boxers but you grow to love her despite how unhinged she can be at times. Wanda does have pretty serious feelings and once you start to accept her affection it just grows. She plans out little dates and trips for when breaks start. They're a bit out of the way for secrecy sake but they're all worth it

The only exception to that secrecy whatever unhinged and deranged information she sent to her friends

wanda: ttyl, gonna take professor ___ on a date later than eat their ass

carol: I asked if you wanted to go see the new mission impossible???

Wanda takes you to an arcade for your first date together. It's technically a little creepy because you've only talked about liking videogames and stuff like that once and it was during the first class you'd ever taught Wanda in. The two of you have fun, especially you because you absolutely smoke Wanda at all the games. (the subsequent ass eating was a little passive aggressive though)

You may be older but Wanda definitely takes the lead during sex. She'll hide under your desk when you don't have a class just to edge you while you're grading papers. Wanda won't let you cum unless you've graded a certain number of assignments before her next period. It does wonders for your productivity.

Wanda wants you to call her some title of authority in bed. She's shooting for you to call her mommy but she'd settle for something like a master/mistress. You refuse to call her mommy because she's younger than you but she makes you see the error of your ways eventually. (she edges you until you give in)

Wanda loves using toys on you, especially when she's pegging you because you get so overstimulated fast. You're normally so composed and professional all the time, and she wants to be the only one to see you an absolutely mess.

She tried putting you in a cock cage once but it lasted all of one day. Surprisingly, she's the hornier one between the two of you and it just kept getting in the way of what she wanted to do to you. Wanda does occasionally threaten you with when you're being too prudish

Unrelated but Wanda accidentally graduates with a minor in whatever you teach because she kept taking your class every year 😭

#panther speaks #anon #wanda maximoff #wanda x reader #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff imagine #wanda maximoff smut #wanda maximoff headcanons #panthers headcanons

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screamingcrows · 23 days

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Note: This was supposed to be a 50 word shitpost, I hate myself. Born from a mixture of being exposed to too much Dr. Ratio art tonight and being a massive coward. Not proofread because this is my 20th hour awake.

Warnings/tags: suggestive, student/teacher, miscommunication, comfort, age gap (reader is university student and Ratio is probably 35 is my bet?)

Minors, ageless, blank blogs will be blocked DNI

Thinking about attending one of Dr. Ratio's classes, and you're a little confused but you've got the spirit. Ultimately, due to a bunch of external turmoil in your life, you end up getting a poor result on a test, prompting him to call you over after class.

With shaky hands, you head up to the podium as your classmates file out, taking the white noise with them and leaving you alone to face his disappointment. It didn't help how badly you'd like to perform well, impress him, hear him praise you.

With your hands rubbing your eyes, an apology had already begun taking shape on you tongue, it never made it past your lips.

"It's come to my attention that you've been struggling with the latest addition to our curriculum, and seeing as you-"

"I really tried, okay? It just- I haven't had enough time and everything went to shit and and-" you can barely get the words out, heart lurching at how much it hurt, wanting nothing more than plead with him to let you stay.

Tears stung in the corners of your eyes, vision blurry already. Probably for the better so you wouldn't risk looking up and seeing his disappointment. You kept your gaze down even as he cleared his throat barely able to focus on the sound. He continued in a strangely gentle tone, it felt almost out of place.

"As I was saying; seeing as you generally perform above average, it stood to reason that something had impeded your studies. If it could interest you, you are welcome to come by my office to brush up."

And that's how you found yourself anxiously pacing back and forth in the hallway a couple of days later. Your attire left little to the imagination, wanting to make sure he didn't regret giving you a chance. After all, his words had been oozing with subtext, right?

His reaction left something to be desired, merely coughing into his hand before turning his head away, beckoning you inside. It was a tense affair, sitting across from him and trying to keep still as he began lecturing. At some point he slid a sheet of questions across the desk for you, observing as you tried to solve them and gently nudging you to the correct methods.

"Doctor? I thought we were, you know, that you'd raise my grade if I uhm..." your voice faltered, seeing him pointedly look away only made your confusion more apparent.

"There was never a promise of raising your grade, this was meant as an offer if you were interested. And as for what you were trying to accomplish with that," he gestured towards you, voice sounding a little strained, "it goes against not only the regulations at this insitution, but most certainly also my own moral compass."

A beat of silence turned into two as shame spread in your body. Of course he hadn't meant it like that. And how did you come up with the idea that he'd offered to raise your grade? This was awful. Maybe dropping his class would be for the better.

"With that being said, I am willing to overlook this little incident if you truly wish to understand. Leaving now won't reflect poorly on your final grades."

It took a couple of minutes of contemplation, but you decided to stay, gratefully accepting the cardigan he slid off his shoulders and handed you, pulling it around your body. He'd looked pleased when you accepted the proposition, a pleasant smile passing over his face before he went back to making sure you not only knew, but understood every part of the theories.

You'd been so relieved when you'd finished, a spring to your step as you waved and left, confirming you'd like to continue next week if he had time. He'd been so pleased by your smile that he couldn't bring himself to ask for his garment back, you'd realise in time and bring it back.

As soon as the door was closed, he was able to stand up from his desk, smile vanishing as his hands gripped the wood tightly, barely able to stifle a groan. He did feel bad for the hardness pressing against his pants, but not enough that the thought of relieving himself didn't cross his mind. It would be a long semester.

#do not perceive me or my ratio im scared to death of doing him wrong #dr ratio x reader #veritas ratio x reader #student/teacher #cw power imbalance #cw age gap #suggestive #hsr x reader #cw student/teacher #dr ratio x you #crow with a pen #dr ratio

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lovely-lying-loveable-liar · 6 months

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hasan going down on you when ur stressed and need to relax because of school or work and then u return the favor by giving him a blowjob and he’s just on cloud 9 cuz those r his 2 favorite pass times

*gorilla noises*

"I'm gonna have a fucking freak out."

"Why? What's wrong, Canım?" (translation: Darling - Turkish)

"This fucking project, nobody but me has done anything! None of my 'teammates' have said anything in the group chat I made and we're presenting tomorrow! This is 50% of my grade!"

"Email your professor, Canım. I'm sure they'll understand."

"I already have, she told me she'd check her emails and email me back when I asked her about it in class but I emailed her two weeks ago and nothing! I mean- you'd expect her to be on top of things since she's one of the countries' best teachers! Best teacher my ass. How hard is it to check your emails?!"

During your rant, Hasan had slowly begun to sink down onto his knees, whilst bringing yours to rest on the table in front of you.

"They're such assholes! I made that group chat weeks ago and when I made it they all said none of them could see it and that the numbers were wrong but then I caught them all in a separate group chat! And on top of EVERYTHING my fucking boss is going on maternity leave, I love them and everything but the 'cover boss' they have scheduled to take over is shit! He's gross and weird and-"

Your breath hitches and you let out a soft sigh when a pair of lips delicately place a kiss to your clit.

He had masterfully removed your panties while you were distracted.

His head was under the skirt of your dress, and the image from a third person view must look DIRTY.

You felt like a Victorian being shown ankle for the first time. In no time, Hasan had you gasping, sighing, whining, and drooling!

His warm, wet tongue did wonders to calm your annoyance, but only fueled the fire embedded into your nerves.

It expertly glided over your clit, folds and hole like a Roman army general's fingers over a map while discussing battle plans. You made a mental note to add that to your list of fantasies to pleasure yourself to when Hasan was away...

After a couple more minutes of this, including some delicious tongue-fucking, you came. Hard.

Gripping your darling's head from under your dress did little to soothe you during your high, but when his hand came up to hold yours while his tongue continued its ministrations? Now that did the trick.

When his head came up, his mustache, lips and chin were drenched in *you*

One look into his beautiful doe eyes made you want to suck the soul out of him in return.

Which is exactly what you did.

Now-

I don't know how we feel about the word

Slurping

But I'm gonna go ahead and say that that's what you were doing

So-

Slurping his meat

I'll stop.

He's WHINING

Poor baby :(

He's getting his dick gobbled raw!

What did you expect?!

Baby boy cums fast.

He loves to big himself up on his stamina during sex.

But he folds like a fucking lawn chair when it comes to head.

"Canım, please. I- fuck- Siktir- aşkım, boşalacağım!" (translation: Fuck- my love, I'm going to cum! - Turkish)

*cartoonish gulp*

You then sit next to him and watch while he emails the exam board of your college/university to inform them of the situation with your teammates.

You do so in complete silence, other than heavy breathing, his limp cock hanging out of his boxers while you try not to ruin your dress or the chair.

Good times... *dreamy sigh*

#hasanabi x reader #hasanabi smut #hasan piker smut #hasan piker x reader

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nonotnolan · 1 year

Text

Cursing Fate

“See, I told you there were much better host bodies than mine,” I said to myself as I walked past the tennis courts on my way into the gym. Well, more specifically, I said it to the alien passenger inside of my body, but it was the same thing, really.

I was on my way to my eight AM class when I noticed something moving in a nearby alleyway. I thought maybe it would be a kitten or a raccoon, but when I knelt down to investigate, something slimy crawled up my arm and into my ear. My hand was barely at the side of my face to try and brush it off, when suddenly I had no control over my body anymore. He wasn’t very forthcoming with any information, but I was able to convince him to take over someone else’s body. I’d dreamed of encountering an alien lifeform like this... I just needed to convince him that he could trust me.

“Derek is who I was planning to give you,” I said as we walked past him. “That’s him in the green t-shirt. I’ll slip you into his locker so that you can ambush him, and then when I’m done with class we can meet back up.” Until today, I had been cursing fate for making my college require a PE class credit for graduation, but if it meant having one of the myriad sexy athletes who taunted my daydreams as a boyfriend, it will have all been worth it. Especially if that sexy athlete is also an alien who needs help learning and assimilating into our culture.

“I find this an acceptable agreement,” the alien said, taking temporary control of my voice to communicate with me. The feeling of becoming a passenger inside of my own body was still incredibly surreal, and frankly a bit nerve-wracking. Still, better him than me. It was hard to feel sorry for him when he’d always been such a homophobic asshole-- he had started giving me extra shit once he noticed the pride pin on my backpack. He was a country boy through and through, and as such he had no patience for my existence.

I opened my locker, quickly shucking off my street clothes and slipping on my swimsuit. “Derek’s locker is the one right next to mine,” I whispered, tapping it with my hand. The alien made no response, instead taking full control of my body-- effectively freezing me in place. It was probably for the best that I couldn’t move, because the alien decided to exit through my cock.

It was the most orgasmic sensation I’d ever felt, and I absolutely would have let out an embarrassingly loud moan if I’d had control of my voice. Instead, he dropped onto the bench and crawled into Derek’s locker through the seams. I took a few moments to catch my breath, hoping no one noticed anything unusual. Hopefully I’d been able to disguise my breathing enough to avoid anyone hear me panting for air. I was already unpopular-- the last thing I needed was to be known as the guy who jizzes uncontrollably in the locker room.

Swim class was quite possibly the longest 50 minutes I have ever had to endure. The class was annoying enough on a good day-- despite it being an intro class, the teacher was a complete hard-ass who graded on results, not participation. It’s hard to enjoy the eye candy all around me when I’m having to work my ass off just for a C grade. But today? Knowing that my alien friend was waiting in Derek’s locker, ready to ambush him and take control of his body... the anticipation was killing me. As much as I wanted to rush out once class ended, I knew that would raise way too much suspicion. Better to stay behind, and let everyone else leave before me. All the same, I found myself cursing fate for requiring so much patience from me.

“As you can see, it worked.” I retuned to my locker only to find Derek sitting there, waiting for me. I was glad that I had decided to linger out by the pool, because seeing Derek’s body posed so seductively gave me an instant erection that my swim trunks were incapable of hiding. The alien laughed, and motioned me closer. “He’s very grossed out right now, you know. I can hear him screaming inside of his head, calling you some very cruel words just for the crime of being attracted to him.”

I couldn’t help but smile. The thought of having control over Derek’s fate was tantalizing. “Well, I bet it will make him even angrier to learn that I’m the reason you made your way into his locker. And it will serve him right, the bastard.”

“It sure did. He’s screaming right now,” he said, tapping the side of his head. “It’s almost a shame that you can’t hear him. When I was inside of you, I could sense the mixture of jealousy and hatred you bear toward him. Hearing his pain might have given you closure.” Derek rose to his feet, standing so close to me that our bodies were practically touching.

My heart was racing. Was the alien doing this on purpose? “Well, I can, uhhh...” I paused, taking a deep breath. “I can think of another way I might be able to get closure.” With that, I leaned forward and kissed Derek on the lips. In turn, the alien grabbed the back of my head and started making out with me.

I couldn’t believe my luck! I let myself relax, allowing the alien to penetrate my mouth with Derek’s tongue. Only, something else entered as well, leaving Derek’s mouth and crawling down my throat. I tried to break away, but Derek’s grip hardened, holding my head in place. I started to dry heave as my body tried to expel the intruder, but it was too late.

“Allowing you to remain free would have been a liability, but one easily solved.” Derek said, putting on his trademark ballcap while I once again lost control of my body. “You have the honor of being controlled by the first offspring I’ve made on this planet. Or did you really think I was going to let you escape, even after you had learned about the secret of my kind’s existence?”

I could do nothing as my body wiped its lips dry. “Even more comical, sir,” it said, using my voice. “It wanted to enter a courting relationship with you. It hoped that you would fall in love with him while inside of your current host body.”

Derek started to laugh. “I had wondered why it was trying to help me with the invasion. Well, then... request denied. But before we try to replicate and obtain more hosts, I think we should investigate this ‘sex’ ritual that humans find so important. Follow me.”

I watched helplessly as my body followed Derek into a shower stall. Until today, I would have given anything to hook up with Derek. Now, however, I was cursing fate for reducing me to nothing more than a passenger inside of my own body. I found myself looking into Derek’s eyes as his body was railing my tight hole, pondering what thoughts were going through his head. We were both nothing more than prisoners inside of our own minds, now. I wonder if he might ever forgive me.

#gay male story #queer romance #muscle jock #revenge #male body theft #alien possession #slime possession #male possession #male body possession

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intothecometverse · 3 months

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in honor of february ending, here's what i manifested this month!

🐬 this one time i was practicing a bit later than usual and i was like FUCK ION WANNA EAT DINNER AND THEN GO TO ORCHESTRA REHEARSAL WITHIN HALF AN HOUR THAT'S NOT ENOUGH TIME and then i got an email for the rehearsal schedule and i got at least half an hour more than usual until i had to come. funny enough i was thinking to myself like plz don't make me come until later plz plz plz plz plz plz and then i got the email for the rehearsal schedule so yippe

🐬 going on to that i had to fucking take a shit and ended up arriving to the rehearsal room ON THE DOT (which is late for orchestra standards 💔) but luckily there were still ppl waiting outside while the conductor was dealing with the basses and cellos only (which was the reason why ppl who weren't basses and cellows didn't have to come until half an hour later) so i wasn't late woo! and on my walk there (i was speed walking lol) i was affirming to myself i'm not gonna be late im not gonna be late there are still gon' be ppl waiting outside then boom that happened??? like im god hello??

🐬 having dinner + getting to go on a mini walk with my goth sp (i asked them and they said yes)

🐬 also manifesting conversations with my goth sp just by thinking about experiencing it seconds beforehand

🐬 oh ja and i also manifested being released early from orchestra rehearsals thru just thinking abt it seconds before too 😭😭

🐬 manifested seeing another sp during my regular day activities (their dorm room is around the corner from mine so we see each other a lot xD) like whenever i think abt them boom they pop up 😭. manifesting interactions next 𓆩♡𓆪

🐬 (me personally i think this was my most putting-my-foot-down manifesting moment) i overate one time and felt like throwing up, like i was feeling ALL the symptoms i usually do before i throw up so i was like "I'm not gonna throw up im not gonna throw up, remember who's in control. I AM in control, nothing else! the 3d will conform, because i said so, IT'S GOING TO CONFORM, NOW" and then i felt fine, just like that :D

🐬 not needing to get out of bed and take a piss one night when i was rly tired (affirmed "i don't need to piss" until i fell asleep 😭)

🐬 my room being opened one night when i got locked out at like 1/2 am

🐬 my grade in jazz history being raised from a D to a B- (and hopefully an A by the end of the quarter)

🐬 also i have all As in all my other classes

🐬 getting to have a fun hangout before February ended lol

🐬 having friends my age who live in dorms near me xD

🐬 my eczema getting healed without special ointment or anything

🐬 birf control (technically manifested it way back in December bc that was when i got a confirmed appointment but wtv. i got the implant this month so xD)

🐬 clearer skin

🐬 i have super long hair and the ends didn't dry out (technically this is like a continuous manifestation but i just wanted to mention it. basically I've been affirming "the ends of my hair is immune to split ends and drying out as it gets longer" and it worked!)

🐬 being better at trumpet :D (i told my trumpet teacher how much i practiced during one lesson, and continued to play during our lesson even when i surpassed my usual amount of time playing during an average day and he said I've gotten stronger due to playing for so long yet still sounding relatively fresh. and recently I've kept playing for longer amounts of time during the day and I've still been fine so yippe

what i'm looking for manifesting-wise in march:

🦞 shifting lmao

🦞 being successful in my job

🦞 being successful in all areas of life actually

🦞 getting to hang out with both sps + them getting along as friends so we could be a whole trio :3

🦞 my sps texting me first along with me texting them first (like yk how they say it should be like a 50/50 thing with who starts the convos and shit)

🦞 supernatural shit like powers, wings, horns, and like those king sombra kinda smoky eyes

🦞 WORLD. PEACE.

hope this inspired you, and remember, anything is possible, and u are loved!

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

#law of assumption #neville goddard sp #neville goddard #loa #manifesting #loassumption #affirm and persist #loablr #loa success

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cherryy-slushy · 1 year

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I Will Never Fall in Love Again~ Yandere!Jason Dean

TW: Violence, cheating, abuse (alcohol related), smut?, alcohol, drugging, using (using a person for something), bad mental health. (Also I may change to personal pronouns halfway through I apologise in advance.)

Part 1!

Part 2

Enjoy!

Your an average person. You have a normal amount of friends, a bit of childhood trauma but an average life now, average looks and average grades. You’re no Heather. But, recently you started to wish more and more that you were. And here’s why.

Y/N has English first class, she was tired as any sane person would be. Your teacher was also majorly upbeat for 8:50 am on a Monday morning. What is she hopped up on?

Y/N looked over to her side. Great Christine isn’t in again. She rolled her eyes knowing this class is going to drag on because of the absence of her friend. She isn’t entirely close with Christine, but she still helps her get through English without loosing the plot.

She snapped out of her trance when she heard her name get called on the registration.

“Y/N?”

“Here”, She said in a blank tone.

“Perfect”, the teacher replied in a chirpy tone.

As she went back into a daydream she kicked back into reality when she heard a knock on the classroom door. Jesus Christ you know it’s a bad class when you find any way to not listen for one second.

She looked to the door as it opened. Through the open door came a deviously handsome boy. I’m talking a guy that would have girls swooning.

“Ah you must be Jason!”, Ms Fleming chirped. “Yep, that’s me”, he replied back, clearly trying to be polite but just sounding sarcastic. Y/N tried so hard not to snort at this.

In the corner of her eye she saw Veronica sawyer. Veronica shifted in her seat suddenly intrigued by the stranger. I turn my head to face her and roll my eyes. I don’t dislike Sawyer, she’s lovely, but it is pretty shitty that she dumped her only friend of nearly 11 years to be a part of the “popular” gang.

I face back up to where the boy and Ms Fleming we’re stood.

“Y/N, Christine isn’t in today is she?”, Ms Fleming asked. “No, she’s not”, I respond, remembering the tragic disappearance of my friend. Okay, maybe I’m being dramatic but this class sucks ass. I need someone to help me through the day.

“Perfect”, she said clapping her hands together, “Jason, go take a seat down there next to Y/N. Y/N raise your hand please.”

I raise my hand a small bit but not too high. Jason starts walking down the class and plomps his bag down next to the edge of the table. I try act nonchalant even though inside I’m dying. I return to scribbling incoherent nonsense onto a refill pad.

In the corner of my eye I see him look at my face and then down to my refill pad as he cocks his eyebrow.

Shit I forgot to change the page…

The sheet I was using was a page another friend of mine and I used to pass each other notes in science class. So yes, there is a massive…willy.. on there…. A very graphic image of one too..

I quickly snap the refill pad shut and pretend to listen to Ms Pauline Fleming ranting about S.E Hintons writing. She was talking about hawkes harbour.

“Im more an outsiders guy myself”, I hear a deep yet somehow high voice whisper too me. I look over at him and see him looking up at Ms Fleming.

“You’ve read the outsiders?”, I asked with a small smile starting to appear on my face.

“Have I read the outsiders? Well duh. Who hasn’t darling?”, he replies back with a small chuckle.

“Tell me, are you more a Ponyboy or Johnny person”, I asked. You can tell a lot about someone from their favourite characters movie.

“Dally”, he replied. “May not be the answer you were looking for but it’s an answer.”

I like this guy

We spoke about the outsiders for a bit longer and before I knew it the bell rang. We both started to stuff out stuff into our bags and before either of us could say anything Veronica Sawyer swoops in.

“Hey. I’m Veronica, Veronica sawyer. What’s your name?”, she asked with a polite smile. “Greetings and salutations, Veronica, Veronica Sawyer. I’m Jason, Jason Dean. JD for short.”, he smirked back.

Oh fuck, am I gonna have my heart broken by this boy.

I started getting bored of them because let’s be honest, who would want to stand there and listen to the boy she’s already starting to have feelings for talk to one of the most beautiful girls in school who is clearly swooning for him and he is clearly swooning for her. Doesn’t seem like a very fun conversation too listen too.

As I walked out I looked back to see if he noticed I left. Nope. He didn’t. Great. I kept walking down the hall and into my next class. Today is going to drag on.

#jason dean #jamie muscato #ryan mccartan #christian slater #heathers the musical #heathers 1989 #heathers #veronica sawyer #jason dean x you #jason dean x reader #follow #tumblr #like #stephen sanchez #never fall in love again #Spotify

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legitimatesatanspawn · 6 months

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Sudden question popped in my head: "How old is Gran Torino?"

Dude looks like he's supposed to be 80 or 90 yet he's spry even for anime fighting heavy setting old people.

Note a lot of this is gonna be riddled with a few assumptions based on character design and general character tropes as related to demeanor. The rest is applying math to known or estimated ages.

Also some minor spoilers due to some flashback sequence images used for reference but nothing major.

Now since this is anime and across many many MANY different anime and manga the original artist or artist team tend to make character visual ages weird. I joke semi-often that kids look like teenagers, teenagers look like adults, young adults look like grizzled 40/50 year olds, and anyone past that look like they're in their 90s... unless you have a character who looks like a child. There's also even odds of the "child" being just that or actually being secretly immortal or 200+ years old.

So its possible that Torino's actually younger than he seems (shit ages you and we know he went through it). It'd also play in to his little prank/joke that he's a senile old man. I know people who look older than they really are due to one reason or another (usually stress) and I know some people in my mother's side of the family tend to look younger for whatever reason. (Some of us joke about having a portrait in the attic.)

But first: All Might is like what, 50? 60? We know he has an active career that's lasted long enough to make everyone else feel like he'll always be there. We also know he got OFA, attended U.A. (and presumably graduated), and then Toshinori got shipped off to America for his safety and to put a whole ocean between him and All Might. And since Gran Torino looked very tall at that time that means that we have a fully grown adult there (adding in to that "old people shrink in the wash" height joke thing).

All Might was dressed in a middle school uniform when he first met Nana so that means he would've been between 12 and 15 when Nana was shown talking about him to Sorahiko after Kid Toshi's dream and drive won her over. Now he's TALL but that doesn't mean anything since I remember a couple boys in 4th grade towering over our teachers so he could be a very gangly one. But to make the Izuku parallels more strong we can say that the first meeting he had with Nana was when he was around 14 or 15.

But the only thing we can really know is that Torino would have to be at least 20-ish to have a pro hero license. Dude has the attitude of someone who's been around the block a bit so let's add in another 5 years for experience as that would be long enough to know the field. That said the characters we know best from canon with similar attitudes are in their early 30s or late 30s.

So that'd make him 30-something to Kid Toshi's 14.

But there's another character I can use as a benchmark for his age: Nana's son Kotaro. 32 when he died, when Tenko (at the time) was around 5-6. Tomura is 20 by canon's start, where All Might would presumably be in his 50s. Now I always assumed Kotaro was around 5 when Nana gave him up for his safety as that is generally the age when things go start to shit for characters in the setting. It'd also give Kotaro stronger memories of Nana and better awareness of who she was (a hero) and why his kids wanting to be heroes like her set him off (not that he seemed to need a reason with his apparent temper).

So if Kotaro is 32 when Tenko was 5/6, the man would have been 47 by the time Tomura appeared in canon. All Might - assuming he's in his 50s - would've met Nana when Kotaro was... well, if All Might is 59 at the series start then Kotaro would've been 3, if All Might is 55 then 7, if he's 51 then 11.

You know what? All Might at 55 sounds fair. Kotaro being 7 at that time also means the loss would've been still fairly fresh, explain a lot about how the letter was phrased, and possibly be part of why Torino was a bit leery of Nana picking a kid. All this without it being too close to her unintentionally replacing her son with another around his age.

Series Start Ages: All Might, 55. Kotaro, 45/46. Tomura, 18/19. Izuku, 14-ish/15-ish.

1-A Start ages: All Might, 56/57. Kotaro, 47. Tomura, 20. Izuku, 16.

So assuming all this... Torino could be around 72 to 77 by the time All Might first meets Izuku.

... you can see how crazy I'm making myself trying to make sense of the timeline.

#boku no hero academia #my hero academia #character ages #headcanons #meta post #doing math to make sense of the timeline #once again #overthinking again #gran torino #torino sorahiko #shimura nana #shimura kotaro #shimura tenko #shigaraki tomura #yagi toshinori #all might #midoriya izuku

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1997yakul · 7 months

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Don't Leave Your Lunchbox in the Aisle

.·͙̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥̩̩̥͙　✩　̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥̩̩͙‧͙ ..·͙̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥̩̩̥͙　✩　̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥̩̩͙‧͙ ..·͙̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥̩̩̥͙　✩　̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥̩̩͙‧͙ ..·͙̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥̩̩̥͙　✩　̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥̩̩͙‧͙ ..·͙̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥̩̩̥͙　✩　̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥̩̩͙‧͙ ..·͙̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥̩̩̥͙　✩　̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥̩̩͙‧͙ ..·͙̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥̩̩̥͙　

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆

Hey, you! Yeah, you! Stop there!

Na Jaemin needs a tutor before he’s booted off the basketball team and loses his chance at a scholarship. (and probably his mom's respect...) Can you help out?

You have a slightly awkward history, yet still maintain your unbearably ginormous crush? You're the perfect candidate!

☆ ☆ ☆ Sign up here! ☆ ☆ ☆

(masterlist) ☆ (nct masterlist)

.｡.:*♡ Pairing: student!jaemin x tutor!gn reader

Word Count: 7,9k (one-shot)

✧ Tags: unreciprocated crush to lovers(?), angst, fluff, humor, kissing, pining, swearing, detention buddies yay, tutoring, slowburn, You Fell First! He Fell HARDER!(punches wall)

start + end date: September 21 2021 - October 6 2022

✧ Notes: this was written for my lil friend bongbong who likes a slice of the weird jaemin pie. Shes always hyping up my stuff and supporting me in my weird endeavors. Shoutout bongbong!!!!!!!

originally posted on ao3

✩ fic is below the cut! enjoy ✩

There's something weirdly satisfying about the feeling of your sweated out forehead peeling off of your desk. It's sticky and kind of hot, probably due to the piles of blankets you shrugged over your shoulders in a fit hours earlier.

It was a promise you made to your mother that brought you here, the brilliant plan to study at any moment of downtime and then take the exam when you got home from helping her at her work. It seemed sort of.. ingenious at the time..? Now, everything's kind of flipped belly up as you drag your finger in panicked circles across your trackpad. You did submit it, right? Wiping at one of your eyes in horror as you wake your laptop up, there's this white box with black text that stands front and center on the screen before you.

'Assignment is no longer available. Click 'close' to return to classroom homepage.'

"What?" You whisper to yourself, eyes fluttering to the bottom right of your screen. The time reads 1:49 AM. Your hand falls to your desk with a thump, and the blankets on your back slide off pathetically.

This type of shock doesn't send you into a full blown panic, not yet. Tapping the 'close' button, you exhale and watch as the page reloads. Searching for the 'Midterm Exam' assignment ends up being a useless, piteous effort. It's now listed under the locked 'Past Assignments' bar.

"No. I turned it in." You lean back in your chair, shaking hair back from your face as you give yourself another moment to think. "Yeah." It's kind of a lie, you think. Maybe just speak it into existence. Falling asleep in the middle of an online test is simply not possible. Not for you at least. Not one that's worth 50% of your grade. Not one that you were sure you already finished last night after you showered.

"It wasn't submitted, I'm not sure how else to tell you this."

Sometimes, things just fall apart.

"I swear I submitted it. I did it when I got home last night."

Your hybrid schedule due to the pandemic has you at a socially distanced desk for 4 hours every Tuesday and Thursday, and the masks make it hard to see if your teacher has an expression of actual sympathy or just really needs to shit. Eyes alone are not enough to piece it together, you realize. He slips this red piece of paper onto the surface of your desk before moving on to the student behind you.

It's asking for a guardian's signature of knowledge that you failed to turn in your midterm.

Across the room leaned up against the far wall, Na Jaemin holds his red card too. He flicks it loudly, his eyes dashing over the brim of his white sanitary mask from left and right as students pass by.

'the desks are socially distanced but students are allowed to get up and walk around and talk to their friends lollll'

Incomes a text from Chenle from the front row, glittered with emojis of zany faces and tongues.

'stupid af' He texts again, his head swiveling to face you to see if you're checking your phone. He turns back.

'how tf did you get a red card???'

You sigh, brushing hair out of your face before texting back.

'i feel asleep before i clicked the submit button'

'bruh' Chenle replies after a short moment.

'i heard if you do a sport or like lead a club or something the principal will just like let u graduate anyway'

He texts again, tacking on an emoji of a cat smirking.

‘i’ll be fine it’s just gonna suck to get my mom to sign it but she will understand… i got the whole rest of the semester Dw dw’

Your eyes go a little blurry with sleep, sneaking a glance at Jaemin against the wall as you yawn. He's typing something rather ferociously on his phone keyboard. His hair is dyed a chestnut brown, his roots grown out an inch in black, swept forward falling over his eyes.

You have been on the same bus as Jaemin since your 10th year at high school, transferring from an online school experience suddenly after a move. Growing up with close to no one you could consider a friend, Jaemin was the first person who ever caught your eye enough to call it interest. He was peak ‘public school’. He seemed friendly, charming, athletic, outgoing— he was the stop right after yours and was always running after the bus. Waving his arms as he chased it down until someone in the back would call up to the driver to tell him he missed someone. It felt like a scene from a movie, like there was no way that he was not the love interest.

Never did he ever forget to shoot the bus driver this breathless smile as he took the stairs two at a time. So hopped up on adrenaline and determination it made your head spin. In the Summer, the humid mornings with the sun already risen in the sky, dribbles of pearlescent sweat beads would slither down his temples like cobras, and in the Winter, the sky would be dark and ominous and Jaemin would board with a cherry red nose, only visible by the bus' interior lights. Every morning you watched just for that same smile, and every morning each one was more charming than the last. You watched again and again, just to dart your eyes away as soon as he finished giving his thanks to the driver.

Everything changed, whether it was the changing of the seasons or the changing of semesters, everything changed except Na Jaemin's stupidly charming smile. Your pupils would fall to your bag in your lap to twiddle your thumbs and deal with these childish feelings that boil up and bubble over like a science experiment gone wrong.

He was so super popular because of his endless prettiness and confidence. One time he came to school in a crop top and got dress-coded. He was even seen arguing with staff in the middle of the hallway holding the wrist of another student, bickering endlessly until the staff argued back with words just a little too big for him, words that left Jaemin just a little too quiet, and then he would just smile— laugh at it. The girl with him who had tears in her eyes over their failed attempt at a protest patted at his back for them to leave. He moved on, but never gave up. He would try again in a month. He was unstoppable. He’d lose with a smile.

That's probably one of the most disappointing things about the situation of the world right now. It may sound selfish and of such the tiniest amount of importance, but the worst part of the masks and the social distancing was easily missing out on Jaemin's smile each day. No matter if he was pissed off, shocked, confused, disappointed, he would smile that beautiful smile that would make you feel like projectile vomiting glitter.

Somehow everything he did was interesting. Attention-worthy. Your head lifts up from its downward position, relocating to face where you last saw Jaemin, but he's missing.

There's suddenly 3 messages from Chenle.

'after school today, let's go get snacks.’

'oh wait does the red card mean detention?'

'earth to my astronaut?? helloooo'

You sigh, running your fingers along the edge of the thick paper thoughtlessly. "Ouch!" Comes shooting from your mouth, your body jolting in your seat. Your blood oozes in a thick stream from the fresh cut on your finger, instinctually, you draw it to your mouth. The rough papery material of your mask presses to your lips, and shaking your head out of the clouds helps you realize the last minute you lost to your daydreams. There's a stifled laugh from the side of the classroom, and for a moment you split to smile back at them with your usual "Yeah, I'm kind of an idiot sometimes. It's okay!" reassuring aura, but this time it's not a friendly face among your acquaintances of peers, but Huang Renjun and Jung Sungchan.

There's something so unnerving about being laughed at by students who you just have the most powerful sense of superiority complexes from. It's not like they've ever been outright mean, but with students so judicious, sometimes they don't have to be mean to feel mean. Like they must just already have everything so carefully set up for them that they have not a single care in the world. Like they're above high school and probably understand how investing in stocks works (Cool people don’t understand stocks!) and have their life planned out til 40.

The worst part is that Na Jaemin is standing there next to them. His eyes fall flat of emotion, his face is angled down at his phone, but his eyes, heavy-lidded, are staring at you. Your hand slides across your face, arm covering your mask and its fresh blood splotch, turning your head to face the window.

Sometimes you wonder how Jaemin can deal with so much attention. With eyes that seem to always be on him. Of course your eyes were a part of them too… something deep inside hoped he could tell you thought of him differently. It wasn’t just that one day with the crop-top, before that he would get dress-coded everyday for his shoes. He would wear Converse, black on black instead of the dress shoes all students were meant to wear. He used to be given notes to bring home every single day. It took a month or two for them to just give up on him changing for them. Some people saw it as him being stubborn, or said it had to do with how much money his parents made, but you thought it was a small type of heroism.

Detention is packed, seriously packed to the brim, students overflowing the desks and crammed into all corners of the classroom. It's definitely not following coronavirus regulations, but at this point you're less than surprised at your country's 'safety in the education system' plan. More than anything in this moment, you'd pay to get a glance at Jaemin. Wherever he may be smushed, you just knew he must've looked amazing. It felt like an insatiable addiction to just take glances at him throughout the day, like, A Little Fix Here! and A Little Fix There! With a fresh mask on, you felt like you could take on the world, like, sure, you made a fool of yourself earlier– but he probably doesn't know who you are, so it doesn't even matter!

Your phone buzzes from deep inside your bag, and you begin searching for it instinctively before the instructor at the front of the room makes some lame call-out for you to stop. A mere "Oh, shit. Yeah." slips off your tongue before you lean back up to your desk, but your head hits the underside of the hard surface. The quiet class, filled to the brim with students, all turn and stare. Your hands fly to grip at the desk you just hit your head on. Today isn't one for the books, obviously.

"You're alright." Whispers from the windowsill, and your brain shuts down.

It's Jaemin.

His hand is atop your head, petting carefully.

You don't even know how it got there, or when all of this just decided to take place, but today is now absolutely the best day ever. Totally one for the books!

"Thank you." You whisper back. It's kind of coy and cute, and you don't mean for it to come out that way, but your nerves have encumbered you from saying anything even slightly self-assured.

"Take care of yourself." He whispers again, this time, it matches your tone. Bashful. "You hurt yourself a lot nowadays."

"Oh." Comes tumbling from your lips before you can catch it, scrambling for words to act as a proper response to what feels like flirting. Is it flirting or just genuine kindness? So he saw you earlier, is this him bullying you? Why was it so sexy though? Is it Na Jaemin or is it Eros? Aren't they sort of the same thing at this point?

His hand falters from your head, and your own darts up to smooth down any misplaced strands of hair. Jaemin swings his legs back up onto the vent before him, leaning his back against a beam between two large windows. The room is quiet besides some whispering here and there, but before Jaemin can help it, he returns to face your desk again. His legs fall over the edge of the sill again, slouched comfortably. Thighs spread like syrup over hot pancakes, his hands running down his slacks until they pause at his knees, smoothing wrinkles as he goes. He's leaned much further forward now, and his breath is calm. Warm and subtle, he blinks through dark eyelashes and asks

"Why are you so nervous?"

Probably the worst thing to ask someone who is nervous. He continues, "Is this your first time in detention?"

You exhale deeply, there's not even an effort in trying to conceal it. It's like a boulder has just been heaved off of your chest. He isn’t flirting, he’s just being nice. "I should've guessed. You have big eyes that look to explore, but you're keeping to yourself."

Interesting. Almost poetic.

"Would you rather me talk to you?" You ask, suddenly feeling a chill up your neck. When were your eyes ever considered big?

"No." He answers, soft and serious before his eyes squint in laughter.

Short puffs of contentedness leave your nose in muffled exhales. Everything feels so right at this moment. "Same here."

"Too bad." He whispers, this time, the hair that has feathered over your ear brushes against your cheek when his breath reaches you. It smells like coconut and spearmint, he chews gum behind his mask, which is obviously outlawed. You know he’s a rule breaker, but now he’s breaking rules around you… it’s sexier. He's flattening himself out even more now, practically folding to reach his arms to cross over themselves on your desk, head falling atop of them. "Have we met before?" He blinks up at you, kittenish and cute.

Internally, you are scolding your heart like a dog that jumps too much. Down boy! Calm yourself! But the ba-boom, ba-boom grows stronger, louder, and Jaemin is just getting closer, and closer. "I don't remember. I don't think."

"You don't think?" Jaemin repeats, his beaming smile lights up his face, although he's got a mask on to cover the best part, it reaches his eyes easily. Somehow it comes with great beauty and delivers great anxiety. "We're on the same bus. You don't recognize me?"

"Oh!" You beam back with overzealous surprise, you big fat fibber. "You're on bus 127 too?" You nod, his Converse with the tears in the canvas nudging against your shoes.

"Yeah. I thought we made eye contact a few times. I guess my face is more forgettable than I thought. Darn." At this point, his fingers are tracing circles around scribbles on the desk. It's so painfully obvious you've been caught and he thinks it's hilarious to see you suffer so immensely. He knows you've been watching him all this time, it's humiliating.

Something inside, lost in the depths of repressed feelings, clicks in that moment. Like, is this it? Are you just another privileged stupid asshole that has fun messing with people who fall for your amazing face? "Dumbass." You gasp, hand flying up to your masked face, eyebrows darting up on your forehead. "Sorry. I didn't mean to say that."

"Dumbass." Jaemin repeats with a scoff and a laugh. "I'm not a dumbass! You're the dumbass. I'm not blind, you look at me all the time!" He's whisper-shouting and some people are starting to glance over in your general direction. "Why would you possibly stare at a person so much? Because you have a crush."

"I do not have a crush, Jaemin. You wish."

"So you do know me?" He leans back up against the window sill again, his right shoulder resting on the support beam.

The teacher up front smacked the yardstick on the chalkboard twice, dismissing students in a matter of seconds. Jaemin is quick, his foot slamming a strap of your backpack on the floor. You look up, one hand around the free backpack strap, the other pressing down on your desk. You glare at him for a second. "Do you know my name?"

"Y/N."

There's this slow motion moment of silence where you realize, "Wait, you know me?"

"Since the first day back to school. Where you sat in my seat on the bus with your hair all sweated to your forehead and your lunchbox in the aisle." You stare up at him, maybe two or three inches below. Why is blinking suddenly impossible? "You had the baseball cap you used to wear, the red one." He motions a hand to the left side of your forehead, mimicking the brim of the cap. The classroom is empty, your knuckles whitening at the tautness of the pull on your backpack. "Let go for a minute." He asks, and it feels very genuine, so you do.

"I have to go home and study, like now. If I fail this class I'm done for." You push in your desk chair and look back up at Jaemin. "I would really appreciate my bag now." You lay your hands out flat, palm up. Somehow there's tears swelling in your eyes, and if you cry right now, that'll be super embarrassing. So you close your eyes to hold them back.

It's quiet for a second until two footsteps place Jaemin behind you. His hand envelopes a shoulder as he drags a strap over each one. It's scary how careful he is.

"There." He whispers, it's very quiet. "I'm sorry." He says, so quiet it's like he wants to not be heard.

"Sorry." You return, opening your eyes again. The window shines in the brightest sunshine you've seen for a while, you blink a few times and wipe away wetness before turning around. He stands lanky and still, head hanging mysteriously low in shame. "Don't feel bad, sorry I didn't react like how you're used to."

"I'm not used to any response at all, that was my first… statement."

"Confession?" You correct, and watch as his eyes trail back and forth between the tiles on the floor. His hands fiddle at his sides, fingers touching each other all over. You take quick steps and wrap your arms wide around him, feeling the back of his neck in one slide of your palm, his hands reaching back out just a second too late. "Bye." You mumble, prancing itty bitty steps out of the classroom before full-on sprinting down the hall.

'youre so weird Wtffffff why didn't you like be normal omhgh y/n'

'i don't know it was so awkward i wish i was never born'

'but u hugged him AAA'

'it was so bad please i like ran away afterwards it felt like kindergarten'

'its okay dw you can try talking to him more tmrw!'

'i have to focus on school now tho? like what are the fucking odds that the minute i actually am being forced to do better in school is the minute the loml confesses to like, being interested in me…'

'fail the class, join a club. trust me.

HOLY SHIT Y/N, TWO IN ONE. JOIN THE BASKETBALL TEAM!!!

I kind of wanted to join too… and ur like kinda tall… i believe in u'

’chenle i dont like sports and there is nothing in the world that could convince me to join.’

'just do it trust me jaemin is the only good one so even if ur bad u will blend in… plus maybe u can be like omg Jaemin how do i dribble omg i only know how to dribble drool down my jaw staring at u mwahmwah and then he'll be like Oh same let's make out'

‘chenle.'

'hehehehe'

The bus ride is quiet, some gentle stirring every once in a while from the few seats behind you, but your heartbeat is all that you can focus on. The ride is suddenly so much longer than you're used to… every turn the bus makes in the direction of Jaemin's stop is a step closer to imminent doom.

Today is no different from the rest, Jaemin is caught waving the bus down with swinging arms and curved eyes, boarding with a bow before making his way down the aisle. It clicks quite quickly where he is planning to sit. Normally he gets on, takes a few wide steps, and plops himself in one of the first few seats. His eyes find yours almost instantaneously upon boarding, his palms smacking the corners of each seat as he passes them.

"No, no, no, no, no" you find slipping out from under your breath as he nears your seat until he's shoving you in the direction of the window with a giggle.

"Hey, buddy~" Jaemin sings out, smiling dangerously through his mask. His legs spread out wide and his black converse position themselves in opposite diagonals, creating an obtuse angle. Feels like you're back in Trigonometry. Your eyes zig-zag between the seat in front of you and the window out to your right. Ruffling the front of your hair a little, you adjust yourself to face him, just slightly. "There you are." He whispers, his eyebrows smoothing out after a quick bounce.

Your heart takes precaution.

"I was worried you might ignore me, actually."

You hum a little note. "I'm surprised you're not ignoring me. I thought you might've been embarrassed."

Jaemin contorts his face slightly, tilting his head to the side, leaning until it falls against the seat in front of you. "Embarrassed? Why? What happened? I'm sitting here because this is my seat. This is the first time we are speaking." He holds out his hand, offering it. “My name is Jaemin.” His other hand traces shapes into his right thigh, maybe it's a nervous habit.

"Oh?" You catch on quickly, "Nice to meet you, Jaemin." The bus slows into a full stop to pick up a few more students, they take wide-legged steps down the aisle. The boy in the seat next to you disconnects eye contact for the first time since he boarded.

Each small pothole in the pavement rattles the bus gently, but Jaemin turns the small tremors into earthquakes, making sure to knock knees and shoulders at every small jostle, side-eyeing your reaction at each touch. There used to be something so terrifying about thinking of talking to Na Jaemin, like he would be too cool, or just think you were boring… but it's so different now that it's been put into action. He's cheesy, and embarrassing when it comes to showing public affection. This bus-ride twice a week leads to many 'Scandalous Public Transport Assignations,' as Jaemin labeled them. Smiley, tossing winks and sometimes a Brownie Bite from his lunchbox. The 30 minute bus ride would feel like 2 minutes next to him.

“Today, you should come with me to basketball practice.” Jaemin is downing his half of the blueberry muffin you provided him with, speaking with full cheeks. “You can meet the other guys, and…” He brushes crumbs off of his lap. “I want them to meet you.”

“Wow, that’s forward.” You look over to Jaemin, who swallows the rest of his muffin with a loud gulp.

“Too forward? Aren’t we dating?”

“DATING?!” You yell out in shock, which causes multiple heads to turn and face your direction. You pass shy smiles and apologize softly to some people near you, sinking further into your seat. Brushing a strand of hair back with your pinky, you bite at your cheek, trying to think of the right words. Jaemin is sitting next to you, shoulders tense. “Okay, sorry. Sorry. I didn’t mean it like that.” Patting him uncomfortably on the shoulder seems to do the trick! That is, if the desired outcome was for Jaemin to appear extremely embarrassed. “I don’t remember ever… agreeing to that.” You smile, and Jaemin’s shoulders drop significantly.

“But we sit next to each other on the bus every single day.” He mimics a friendly wave, “And we wave to each other like this in the hallway!” Jaemin shuffles through his bag until he finds his milk carton. “And we give each other gifts.” His eyes blink rapidly, remembering something. “And you already hugged me.”

Your ears sting with hotness. “Okay, but those are things friends do too. We haven’t even been on a date, or ki...ssed.” Somehow it's hard to even say the word in front of him. Both sets of eyes fall to the floor of the bus. “I know we got close fast, but… If I’m going to date someone, even if it’s someone I’ve liked for a while… I still have standards.” Jaemin looks up and nods suddenly with determination. He brings his empty hand up from his side and offers his pinky.

“Promise me if I do those things, I can tell people I’m dating you.”

Wow. It’s kind of baffling. He’s uncontrollably cheesy and really bad at stuff like this. Maybe romcoms have set your expectations for high school boys a little bit too high.

“Okay. I pinky promise.”

“Stamp it.” Jaemin commands. “Sign it.”

“Copy it.”

“So dramatic…” You push his hand back into his lap and fold your fingers together.

Jaemin is smiling.

Two weeks later, Jaemin frantically texts you 13 times in less than 30 seconds.

‘hhey y/n’

‘this isvery important’

‘Respondpls’

‘My mom saidtaking my phoneaway’

‘Bc failing english and’

‘Help’

‘y/n my bus buddy’

‘PLSSS’

‘M also fail math n scienc’

‘I have an iddddea’

‘REPSOND MYABY’

‘LIFE OR DEATH’

‘CALL 119’

‘WHAT????’

‘JUST CALL ME…!!?’

And so the phone rings.

“Hi, my baby. Here’s the thing, I have this great idea. And it will work. Because my mom doesn’t know about you-”

(Why doesn’t his mom know about you? Your whole family already knows about Jaemin! This is embarrassing. I mean, you have only been talking for 3 weeks, and you did say you wanted to take things slow, so why is Jaemin the one who’s treating this like one big-)

“Agree? It’s a good idea right? Then we can spend time together! Infinite dates!” Jaemin finishes, his breath pouring into the phone in loud intervals as he wraps up his speech. Unfortunately, very little was heard or understood, so a simple- “Of course! Let’s do it!” suffices to make Jaemin happy.

The only downside is you’re completely unsure of what you have just signed yourself up for.

* It only takes 4 seconds with Jaemin’s mother to greet you with: “So you must be my son’s tutor!” to get you up to speed.

“Yes, Miss Na. Here to help with the classes he’s struggling in.” You beam, realizing you are ill-equipped, hands empty besides your special green pen with sparkly ink. “And, um, Jaemin said I should just bring myself- since he has his textbooks with him!” Scratching at your left shoulder, you hope she doesn't notice the bead of sweat forming on your forehead.

“Of course, of course. Well, come in, might I add- you are just as cute as a button! I set out some mango for you. You’ll be okay at the dining room table, I presume?”

“Gosh!” (You haven’t heard that exclamation come out of your mouth in ages.) “Thank you so much, and yes, that’s perfect.” Peering past Jaemin’s mom as you step inside, slipping your shoes off, you notice that his house is much different from yours. The ceilings are very low, wallpaper is seen peeling at the seams, and the floor is scuffed where you stand. Although clean, this house is struggling. Jaemin is at the table, his feet curled up onto a dining chair, making the hole in his sock visible.

“Now, do you have a running rate for your services? I know it looks like we don’t have the most money, but I work long hours and will be able to afford what you deserve. His education is everything to me.” Your heart breaks slightly, and you shake your head side to side.

“This is just volunteer work for the school’s Honor Society, don’t worry.” You make your way to Jaemin, who’s smiling at you from his seat. “The most I might need is… a signature? To mark off my hours...? If that’s okay.”

His mom’s eyebrows bounce in amazement. “Jaemin told me it might cost a bit, so I was really prepared! Please, if you need anything, let me know. Thank you so much. I have a shift in about 20 minutes, so I need to be on my way. Thank you, thank you, thank you!” She lets her palm slide down your arm and kisses Jaemin on top of his head, and then she’s gone.

The door slams and you turn your head to Jaemin with fire burning in your eyes. “You were going to have her pay me?! What is wrong with you?”

“You are seriously going to tutor me, why wouldn’t she pay you? I wanted to be fair.” He rolls his eyes and lets his head fall back against his neck.

“But you’re-” your eyes scan the entryway and dining room, fist balling.

“Yes, we are not rich.” He sits up properly in his chair. “Doesn’t mean we just get out of paying for things that you are meant to pay for.” He shimmies in his chair. “We aren’t slimy, and don’t think my mom only took your offer because she was excited to get out of paying. She believed you. That’s why she took it.” His palms fall flat on the table as he hoists himself up.

“I don’t think that!” You argue, “Don’t say that. I don’t think like that. Learn to trust a little, Jaem. I’m your friend, I didn’t want to be paid because I’m your friend. She works hard and doesn’t deserve to have to deal with you failing all your classes because you think not trying is cool.”

“I think trying is not cool? Are you serious? Is that the person you think I am?” Jaemin’s face gets bright red at that one.

You stutter slightly at the sight of him angry. “I didn’t mean that. I just said it, I don’t know why.” He laughs like he’s really hurt, like he’s so baffled he ran out of viable words. You don’t think you want to be here anymore. “I’m sorry.”

“Let’s study some English, then.” He sighs out.

You quickly learn that Jaemin is not the type to say something impulsively. That doesn’t mean he won’t crack a joke that objectively sucks or make a funny noise when he realizes he’s been quiet for too long; but rather that when he means to speak seriously, he will think it through thoroughly beforehand. He chooses his words carefully, even if they don’t sound carefully chosen, (his vernacular kind of lacks…) He just wants to be understood in a way where whatever he is expressing is exactly how he wants to express it. This is a great talent, one that you most definitely do not possess.

You’re in the middle of analyzing a poem when Jaemin interrupts you. “I do try. I try really, really hard.”

“I know.” You say, quietly.

“No, you don’t. Because what you said earlier must’ve had some truth to it. At least from your perspective. Now, I want to explain my perspective.” He looks up to your eyes without ever moving his head. His eyebrows furrow harshly as he thinks, and then lifts his head. For the first time in your life with Jaemin, this is the first time he’s looked so serious, the first time he hasn’t been smiling. “You are one of the only people on this Earth; besides my mom, that I actually want to make proud.” He fiddles with his pencil before letting it fall to his notebook page. “Everyone works at a different pace, you know? I work slightly slower, and that doesn’t mean I’m not trying- it doesn’t mean I’m stupid. It just means that I need more time to figure this shit out.” He shrugs in his zip-up hoodie, feeling the end of its sleeve between his fingers. “Who knows, maybe my end product— whether it’s a math equation or an essay, is better written, easier to understand, is...” He displays his palms in a ‘you get it’ manner. “There are a lot of students who struggle the same as me. We all try. It’s just different for us— learning is different. Please don’t just assume I don’t try because I don’t do well.”

Your eyes trace along the lines of his face for a moment before looking down at the sentences on the book below you. “I understand. I’m sorry. I hated how I said that so carelessly. I-I am proud of you. I am proud of you for many reasons. I want you to be proud of me too.” There’s a little silence afterwards, just so he can think about everything, process it. He whispers a “Thank you” and you complete one more problem before he’s back to spacing his eyes around the expanse of the room. It takes a minute or two until Jaemin is back to smiling, but the pain of worry stings his eyes, obviously feeling more than he wanted to let on. He opens his mouth a few times to speak before shutting it with a shake of his head. It hurts your heart more than you expect it to. “I’m only worried if I lose my position on the basketball team…” He stutters for a second, motioning with his hands. Looking away for a moment with his palm over his mouth. “I don’t want to lose this thing I love, and I don’t want to let down my team, and I don’t want to… to lose potential scholarships or let down you or my mom.” He forces this extremely weak smile and twirls a pencil nervously. “So… I’ve got to give it my all.” You lean back in your seat, and watch him come to terms with the feelings he's realizing that have suddenly begun to overwhelm him. “I’m gonna tutor the shit out of you.” His eyes dart up to you, scanning over your face before a smile tugs across his lips. This one is real, like he believes you. His head drops back to the paper on the table before him. “Don’t worry. You’re not losing anything or letting anyone down.” You tap your pen onto the next essay question in his homework, “I won’t let you.”

Jaemin leans over the table far enough that his butt leaves his seat so he can wrap his arms around your neck and rest his chin on your head. It lasts for a moment, then he pulls back, scoots himself in, and picks back up his pencil.

That Thursday, Jaemin and you stay after school. He has basketball practice, and asks you to wait in the gym as he goes into the locker room to change. They don’t wear masks, you guess because it could be hard to play with them on. There’s already a few guys dribbling a ball around and chatting while they wait, their shoes squeaking intermittently. “How do you know Jaemin?” One of them asks, you don’t recognize them from any of your classes, but Sungchan stands slightly behind him, ajar, watching his teammate interact with you.

“Same bus, actually.” You throw a thumb behind your shoulder as if you’re pointing to the bus lanes. They’re actually in the complete opposite direction. You hope he doesn’t notice.

He starts making his way over to you. “Oh cool. He’s one of the best players we've got.” He nods, beckoning for Sungchan to come join the both of you. “This is Sungchan, and I’m Jeno.”

“Nice to meet you, I’m Y/N.” Your shoulders instinctively broaden, like some intimidated wild animal. They’re taller than you. Jeno… not by a lot, but Sungchan has quite a few inches on you. Jeno says some stupid thing under his breath, something like… ”Rad,” “Epic,” or “Chilllll.”

Explosive laughter echoes from behind you, and Jaemin is jogging up in athletic shorts and a jersey. “So awkward, Jeno.”

Jeno’s face flushes, he smiles, spinning around in an embarrassed circle, flourishing with the ball between his fingers. “Trying to welcome your newbie, leave me alone!” He bounces off towards the basketball hoop with big bounding leaps.

Sungchan gives a weak smile. “Nice to meet you.” You nod back, if anything he seems more shy than intimidating now. Jaemin pats your shoulder, poking a finger into your lower back to get you to start moving forward with him. You trail behind Sungchan as a few more boys come out of the locker rooms, boisterous enough to get you to turn back to watch them trickle out. Jaemin smiles at you, craning his head over to you, blocking the view of the door.

“I’m the cutest, trust me. Don’t bother wasting your time.” You smile back, turning forward as he pulls his hand back to his side. You believe him.

Jaemin texts you a picture of him with the rest of the basketball team, each one of them cheesing so hard that their eyes are all swallowed up. They surround their coach who in turn, holds Jaemin up on his shoulders. Jaemin has his fingers gripped tightly around a small trophy. You have to pinch and zoom in pretty far to even see the little gold award. Nonetheless, all of the boys look ecstatic.

‘Yessss!!!!!’ you text, littering the chat with confetti poppers and balloons.

He responds with a close up picture of him pouting his lips. ‘Where do you want it?’

You pull up your blankets out from under you, nuzzling your cheek into your comforter. ‘butt’. You type out, searching frantically for a gif after the read receipt pops up.

‘Your wish is my command.’ He responds, signing off the text with an emoji of a peach followed by one of a kiss. You smile big.

Jaemin is the same as always at school, only sometimes he glances over at you, mid-conversation with a friend and nods a slight smile, even across the entire room you never miss it. It’s low effort, but it feels like the best thing in the world. It makes you think to those bus rides where you didn’t know him at all, and how each season he looked more boyish than the rest, floppy and carefree and completely exasperated by his sprint to the bus doors. It was flashing shades of red and white and you wonder what he looks like now. You think to yourself how lucky you feel now. You don’t look away when he boards, or shy away behind the person’s head in front of you. He looks for your eyes and locks into them before you have time to pull your backpack into your lap. He’s calmed down now, like he understands you better and isn’t just being loud to cover up hidden worries. He squeezes up close and leans his head on your shoulder, he’ll lay his head down on your lap, and he will grab and hold your hand like it’s everything he will ever know. The red glow of the interior bus lights slide over the side of his face like a painting and he whispers homework answers like love poems. He’s easy, like it was always meant to be this way. You wonder how you ever lived without him.

It’s nearing the end of the semester now and tutoring Jaemin has been enlightening. His mind is beautiful and he never fails to surprise you with his specially hidden sensitive brilliance. It's dark when you finish up Jaemin's English packet and his mom arrives home with a noodle dish in a plastic to-go box. She sets it on the table and pushes it between the two of you. "I just ate some on the bus home, so I'm full. You two can share if you'd like. Again, Y/N, thank you so much for your kindness. I can sign now, then I'm off to the shower." She smiles. Jaemin gives a side glance that just screams 'She's never that nice to me!' And you can only reassure her that it's no issue, and Jaemin is a determined, creative learner. His ears blush with a saturated pink when his gaze shifts from his mom to you. His mom signs off on your paper and shuffles into a dark hallway behind the both of you.

"No way you actually believe that…" He fiddles with his warm ear between his index finger and thumb.

"Of course. You go after what you want."

Jaemin laughs and his hand falls into his lap. "Right, just very very slowly." You're packing up your textbook as you shoot him a smile.

"And? You said it. Different paces, it's alright. You have such a fun way of going about answering things. You can see in your work that you see the world differently from everyone else. You see it with hope.” You pluck the pencil from Jaemin’s loose fingers and tuck it into your pencil case with a smile. “You're smart."

His eyes light up. "Wow, no one has ever said that to me before. I could kiss you right now."

"But… should you?"

"Should I not?" Jaemin has this smile that glides across his face and eyes blink slowly, like a cat showing its affection.

“You can, if you’d like.”

Jaemin laughs sharply, rocking back in his seat with his palms pressed firm against the edge of the table. His smile falters into a downturned expression of focus. “No, because— I’ve dreamed of this…” He stands out of his seat, turns around and paces a few times across the dining room and through the kitchen.

“What are you doing?” You laugh, standing up to watch him. “Jaemin.” You place your pencil case on the table, folding your arms as he continues pacing.

“Wait, I can’t do it now. Give me like, 5 minutes.” He pauses, turns, faces you, and points. “I need to get you by surprise.” Then continues walking back and forth.

“I don’t want to be kissed by surprise, I want our first kiss to be…” You motion with wide swinging arms. “Like, kind and…” Your hands cup and cradle the air.

Jaemin stares, nods slightly like he’s factoring in a few different possibilities and outcomes, and then returns back to his seat. You stare down at him for a second, and his eyes flicker up to you for a moment before returning to his homework. He spins a pencil around and between his fingers.

“I want to like… make out.” You say softly, watching him from above. He stops pacing for a second, processes, then continues. “I want to… touch you all over.” Your stomach turns harshly, and Jaemin freezes again, his body still. “I want to have—”

“Y/N! You’re still here. You’re usually on your way home by now, aren’t you?” Her voice is slightly stern, your eyes bulge and flicker between Jaemin and his mom. Neither of you dare to move. Your logic is: Maybe if you’re super still, she will forget the last 10 seconds.

It does not work.

She clears her throat, and you see her hair wrapped in a towel, pajama-clad figure just in the corner of your peripheral vision. You think you might pee yourself out of fear. “Need anything else signed? A ride home?” You can only shake your head slowly before turning and swiping a few papers into your backpack, gathering it up and walking to the door without ever glancing back at Jaemin.

“We’re dating. I’m their boyfriend.” He spits out, Jaemin’s voice makes your head whip around, and your eyes skip back and forth between Jaemin and his mom. Your heart is beating out through your ears. “We were going to kissssss...” His words fizzle out and his eyes shift between his mom and you as you attempt your daring escape. He points down at the table, finger pressing into a notebook. “Go.” He whispers, and you both sprint out the door.

The moonlight cuts through the trees as you walk down the street. Jaemin doesn’t usually walk you home, but since the sun has been setting earlier and it’s getting colder, he has been occasionally joining you. He hooks your elbows like a barrel of monkeys.

Jaemin laughs so hard he has to wipe tears from his eyes. “I thought she was going to actually strangle you, throw your body across the room like a doll.” You lean forward and back again as you laugh, Jaemin steps heavy with tireless energy and silent laughter casts over the street.

“We’re-dating-I’m-their-boyfriend.” You mock him, and he shoves you with a shoulder off the curb. You try to catch yourself, pulling your hands out of your pockets a second too late. Jaemin grabs your arm and pulls you back to him, shouting apologies up until you can steady yourself. “You’re so cute,” you whisper. He pulls you into his chest and you lock eyes for a moment, it’s almost romantic before you stick your pinky in his ear. At this point, you’re sure you’ll keep sabotaging yourself out of this excitement until you’re both 80. It makes his shoulders jump and his neck go limp, his arms noodling and recoiling away from your touch. You both laugh until you make eye contact again.

“I like you. I really do. A lot.” He gushes, his fingers sliding their way up your sides to pull out your ears.

“I like you when you’re ugly.” He pushes your nose up, snorting like a pig. “I like you when you’re beautiful.” He lets his fingers trace down your neck, kissing you twice, chastely on your jaw. “I liked you when you took my seat on the bus.” He folds a hand around your wrist. “And I liked you when you left your lunchbox in the aisle.” He kisses again, another time on your cheek.

“But I like you the most, the absolute most…” He kisses your bottom lip, giggling as he moves his way up, angling himself with a slight bend to his knee “…when you like me too.”

☆

(masterlist) ☆ (nct masterlist)

#nct 2023 #nct jaemin #na jaemin #nct fic #nct x reader #gn reader #x reader #jaemin x reader #nct dream #nct dream fanfic #kpop fanfic #nct fics #1997yakul #fanfiction #ao3 author #ao3 fanfic

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loife1m · 7 months

Text

Another rant (important, something related to my books, please read)

hey guys. I am so sorry, but I don’t think I’ll be updating for a while. It’s irresponsible of me and I’m really ashamed, considering I didn’t on the 11th and 12th too, I used Diwali as an excuse but I’ll be honest; the next few chapters of TLEOT and 100% are kinda shit. I know I can do better. I know if I rewrite the chapter and edit that, it’ll be much better. I have trust in those abilities.

Here’s the thing.

As most of you know, I’m in 9th grade. And 9th grade sucks ass. They’re constantly threatening you when you even sort of slip up in tests; “You can’t do that next year or you’re going to fail boards!”

You thought 7th grade was hard? You thought 8th grade was hard? If you survive 9th grade and 10th grade, make sure you live to tell the new batch of 8th grade the story.

in 9th grade, you either survive or die. There is no in between. They really put that pressure on you.

I had a test recently. 47/50. Ha, that’s good right? Wrong I guess. My teacher gave me a whole ass lecture in front of the class. “Silly mistakes” this and “rechecking the paper” that. You really think I can’t do that? You really think I don’t do that? I’m in 9th grade for fucks sake! Of course I do that! Just because by chance I missed that mark, stop lecturing me in front of the class!

I’m literally so tired of how things have been recently. I spend most my time in the two places that make me feel like shit. I’m so scared to go to school and if anything, I only go to school so no one worries about me. I know that Jeremy, our group and lemon dude would be really worried if I told them all this. That’s why I’m not going to. They’ve been put under pressure too. I’d just add to their problems.

I remember a story my teacher told me. What does tea leaves, eggs and carrots do in boiled water? Tea leaves create beautiful tea, eggs turn harder and carrots turn softer. The boiled water is supposed to denote the tough situations we all have.

In this case, I’m none. I’m chilli powder. I’m already crumbling, and when put in boiled water, I’m basically dissolved.

I know. This sucks. Loife’s being her dramatic self, not giving updates because what? Pressure. I bet some people wouldn’t even believe this story. And you know what? Whatever. I’m sick and tired of being criticised for being human and it’s like I’m being expected to be perfect and in which case? IM SORRY. IM SORRY IM NOT. YOU GOT TO SUCK IT UP CUZ THIS IS HOW I AM AND I CANT BE YOUR VISION OF PERFECT. OH WELL.

anyway. I’m really sorry to those who care. To those who really care, to those who read till the end, thank you so so much. I know I’ve been ranting a lot lately, and you must be tired of seeing these long ass posts. Maybe you were expecting updates on lemon dude, or maybe updates on my books. I’m sorry to disappoint you with this news.

thank you all so much.

-Loife

#aka loife rants #rant #rant post #mental health go whoooshhhhh

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beardedmrbean · 5 months

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Hmm I was watching this video https://youtu.be/DHF8LdiFhW8?si=U3QcuoufihSLEONt

And in the comments they pointed out that parents of the 50’s were children on the Great Depression. Which got me thinking

As you know a lot of people who came from poverty goes crazy when they get famous or successful. The…black community is like that as we can barely comprehend so much wealth at once. Not all as many are slick enough to start their own record labels, clothing, etc.

But that comment got me thinking about the great generation. I can only imagine how crazy they went with the fact they grew up in the Great Depression and then boom the USA is on top of the world. Then they sent their kids to college who got brained that Kinsey studies was good for society.

Yes I know the previous generations prior to boomers had libidos, I mean look at Walt’s and his colleagues/competitors works when the female body got more defined in cartoons.

But we really need to look into the boomers upbringings and their parents prior to prevent another one.

youtube

I wish this was the stawman it looks like but I've seen this all before on here.

Wonder if they'd be terribly shocked at how much "GAY" was ignored in the 50's and beyond.

Couple of teachers at the Christian (ND but Pentecostal run) school I went to, ladies that had a duplex they rented next to each other and always had neither one married or dated that anyone knew of and they were just "really good friends" and had been forever. Both taught 5th grade too.

Didn't even click for me what was likely going on till I was in my 20's and they drifted into my head for some reason, but ya that was in the 80's that was going on.

The arguments about divorce and women not having their own bank accounts honestly hold a lot more water.

The…black community is like that as we can barely comprehend so much wealth at once. Not all as many are slick enough to start their own record labels, clothing, etc.

Herb from "Peaches and Herb" was working well here

"Once again, Fame returned to law enforcement and joined the U.S. Marshals Service in 1986 as a deputized court security officer at the U.S. Court of Appeals for Veterans Claims."

Big part of that I think was him getting shafted on royalties, but initial payouts still should have kept him comfortably middle class for life after the 3rd peaches.

Then we have MC Hammer and Mike Tyson, though being shit with handling money and the fame that comes with it isn't exclusive to any one group regardless of the demographic they're in.

Thankfully the lawyers and accountants are getting better at convincing people to knock it the fuck off so we don't wind up with.

To be fair to Willie his accountants had screwed him and there were some bad investments, oversight of accountants is also part of the bit above this with the getting them to knock it the fuck off part.

Ted Nugent ran into similar, but the accountants had made some really bad investments instead of just flat out not paying his taxes for years.

But ya guys like Dre, Jay Z, Beyonce, and Rhianna from that end of the spectrum have done very well, Michael Jackson for all his eccentricity made some great investments that should be enough to keep his grandkids doing wonderfully even. (as long as they still have half the Beatles catalouge at least)

As for libidos, we been horny since the dawn of horns it got played down some round WW1 or so and people started to reset their memories, there's some nasty stuff out there from the Victorian to Edwardian ages.

#anonymous

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boysplanetrecaps · 6 months

Text

Produce 48 Recaps: Auditions Begin (episode 1)

When we left off in my probably-unnecessary-but-still-necessary Rewatch Recap of Produce 48, the 96 girls had made their entrance into the huge studio, and the judges were just about to reveal themselves. Let's get to it!

The judges come out!

First, it’s Lee Hong Ki, a powerful vocalist, here to teach them to sing. He’s from FT Island, and amazingly, was in the *second* K-drama I ever watched, You’re Beautiful, which was fun at the time, but which I cannot actually recommend. I will say that Hong-ki is the best part of it despite his, let’s say, broad acting choices.

The character he played on You’re Beautiful was named Jeremy, and I can’t help but think of him as Jeremy. So just understand that I will be calling him Jeremy for the duration of these recaps. Thank you.

Here he is as Jeremy. He’s ACTING!

Next, it’s Soyou, from Sistar. She was overshadowed by Hyolyn but is an excellent vocalist in her own right. She’s here to be the other vocal trainer.

It wouldn’t be an MNET show without this asshole:

I don’t want to learn his name but he’s that choreographer/dance teacher/ sociopath who always makes sure that all of the trainees’ mental health is hanging on by the merest of threads. I’m going to call him Psychopath. Seriously, fuck this guy. I’ll note that he comes across as sweet and loveable in this episode but I can’t forgive him for the shit he pulled during Boys Planet. Nope. Never. He has earned my undying hatred. To be clear, I do not support sending him hate messages or harming him in any way. I will just quietly, and personally, hate him on my Tumblr which gets maybe 5 or 10 readers.

And then there’s her:

Bae Yoon Jung! She’s also pretty intense, and I know she’s mean to them on the first day, but she has the capacity for normal human empathy, as I recall. I’m going to call her Dance Bae. That doesn’t mean that I co-sign on her casual cruelty. It’s just that it’s literally her name and it’s easy to remember.

I don’t remember this lady:

Her name is May J Lee and she’s also a dance trainer. She’s cute. Here’s to hoping she understands that the trainees are human beings!

It’s Cheetah, here to be the rap trainer! God, I love her song Villain so damn much. The video is great, too, but trigger warning for violence. “I could fix you, but I won’t.” HECK yeah.

And special one-day trainer, Kahi, who was the dance trainer for PD101 Season 2.

Kahi was in After School, then “graduated” in June 2012, right around the same time that Gaeun joined. They undoubtedly have spent time together, so it’ll be interesting to see if they interact much in this episode. (Maybe Gaeun being on the show this season meant that Kahi couldn’t really be the judge for the whole time?)

The judges glare holes into the trainees while explaining that they’ll be sorting them into groups -- A, B, C, D, and F -- based on skill level, with the ultimate goal of bringing them all up to A-grade. And now it’s time for these would-be performers to perform, and of course, they don’t want to actually perform.

41:50 The Auditions Begin

The girls are nervous. Yoon Hae Sol (윤해솔), 20, former member of Aqua, lets out a gusty breath. And this girl is nervous too, whoever the heck she is.

Kim Chaewon, it says on her nametag. Well, she’s cute. Meanwhile I’m fascinated by the shoe behind her. WHOSE SHOE IS THAT? WHAT IS THIS SHOE?

The AKB-48 girls are even more nervous. Oda Erina, 21, in a stylish bob and a blue, yellow and white jacket is intimidated by the Korean girls. Mogi Shinobu, also 21, a living meme with blue furry sleeves, is so nervous she looks like she might cry. We love you, Shinobu.

Time for the first audition! Or at least, the audition that the editors have moved to the beginning of the episode, even though it was probably not the first one to happen in real time! Because they wanted to front-load excellent Korean auditions to emphasize the skill gap between the Korean and Japanese contestants!

Audition 1: Yuehua

Kim Si Hyeon (김시현), age 18, in the long sleeved shirt, now a member of Everglow.

Choi Ye Na (최예나), age 18, with her hair in a ponytail.

Wang Yi Ren (왕이런), age 17, pink shirt with black edges. She’s Chinese and is now a member of Everglow.

We see a clip of the Yuehua girls back stage, where Choi Yena accidentally draws on the camera with red marker and then apologizes profusely. AND SHE NEVER WORKED IN KPOP AGAIN!!

Then we get a flashback of Gross Guy personally watching the auditions of all 96 girls prior to the filming of the first episode. He’s so gross. Ugh. He makes JYP seem like a sweet, safe guy. Anyway we find out that after Choi Yena performed her song, she asked to do an extra performance. She begins speaking in what sounds like decent Japanese and does a little miming routine with sound effects. She’s pretty charming, actually.

Cut back to audition day. The Woolim girls are backstage waiting for their turn when they recognize Sihyeon from her time on PD101, Season 1. Sihyeon interviews that she’s embarrassed when she looks back at herself on PD101 and that she’s gotten a lot better since then. In fact, as we find out later, she got an F in that season.

Link to full audition on Youtube

Song: Move by Little Mix

My Thoughts: They do great, in my opinion. Siyheon has a great clear, strong voice and her English pronunciation is mostly pretty good. Yena and Yiren don’t sing as clearly, but their dancing is great and they have a lot of presence. God, Yiren sparkles so much! I feel like she’s getting bad advice from whoever is around her now, because in more recent Everglow performances she always seems so muted. Seeing this, I can see she’s capable of great stage presence -- I hope she finds her way back to this. I dig Everglow and just want them to keep living up to their potential. I would have given Siyheon an A and the other two Bs, I think, though it’s hard without seeing the other trainees to compare.

The MNET Edit: The editing emphasizes Yiren and Yena more, but overall the editing is kind to all three. We see some of the Japanese girls saying “why is everyone so good”, almost as if this ISN’T the first team to go up. (Also, we see that other girls are already wearing their grade name tag, though they’re blurred out.) The judges give Yena an A and the other two get Bs, which I guess reminds us that as long as you *kind* of sing while you also dance a lot and are very charming, then…. you get an A. Anyway, A and B are fine.

The editors really want us to know that the Japanese girls are very worried about their auditions. It is true that they generally don’t have the training the Korean girls have -- I’m not commenting on their inherent worthiness, just their preparation. But the show really, really focuses on that. I’m sure at least some of the Korean girls were nervous too, but we don’t seem to be seeing clips of that on the show.

Auditions 2 and 3: Woolim and WM Entertainment

Next, the MNET editors decided to further confuse anyone who has previously confused WM Entertainment with Woolim Entertainment by overlapping these two agency’s auditions, same as they did when the girls entered the auditorium. Thanks, MNET editors! Thmeditors. We learn that Woolim manages Lovelyz, while WM manages Oh My Girl (their rivals), though now in 2023 I think we all know that Oh My Girl kind of won that particular fight. Apparently the girls view each other as rivals? ...? But do they, though?

Woolim is up first. They take a moment finding their places, and we learn that Eunbi is their leader/mom who brought them medicine and Japanese phrase books. What a good unnie!

Left to right: Suyun, Eunbi, Sohee, Chaewon

Kim Chae Won (김채원), age 17 now: Le Sserafim wearing a short sleeved white top, tie Kim So Hee (김소희), age 14 now: Rocket Punch wearing pigtails Kim Su Yun (김수윤), age 17 now: Rocket Punch wearing short sleeved black top Kwon Eun Bi (권은비), age 22 now: soloist wearing a tie, cardigan

Link to full audition on Youtube

Song: Ah-Choo by Lovelyz / Bad by Infinite

My thoughts: It’s always awkward when you have one member who’s 14 (and looks 12) and one who is 22 (and looks 25) -- they’re always going to sort of make one another look bad. But overall, this is actually a really good audition. I watched it multiple times and didn’t pick up on any mistakes or bad moments. All four of them had kpop acceptable vocals that didn’t stand out as fantastic or terrible. Chaewon’s a tiny bit shaky on the high notes, but they are really high notes. Little Sohee’s dancing was less powerful than the others’, even during Ah-Choo, but that’s fine considering she’s so much younger. I did think they looked a tiny bit silly doing that super powerful choreography to Bad while still dressed to perform Ah-Choo, but the goal was to display different skills and they did that. Knowing how deep the hole can go, I think I would have given all these girls As or Bs, maybe a C for little Sohee. It’s hard to know for sure since it’s not always clear what is live singing and what’s the backup track.

The MNET Edit is fair. The rest of the trainees appreciate their performance.

Backstage, Lee Chaeyeon says Eun Bi caught her eye the most. I actually noticed Suyun a lot too, but her time will come later.

The judges compliment their synchronization and ask to see them perform something else. They launch into a second performance, which seems equally well rehearsed. I don’t recognize the song off hand (if any of you do, feel free to let me know!) but they do a great job with it. Dance Bae says, in an almost irritated way, “why haven’t you debuted yet? You seem ready to me.” I think she’s speaking mainly to Eunbi, who smiles wide at the compliment. We won’t hear their grades until later, but I’ll tell you their grades now, because I just love subverting the MNET editing monkeys. Kwon Eun Bi gets an A, ChaeWon gets a B, and the other two get Cs. Maybe I’m just biased toward Suyun from knowing her now? It’s hard to say. But I still think a B would have been fairer for her.

Next, WM Entertainment. The girls come out on stage and the judges immediately tell Chaeyeon she looks familiar. She acknowledges having been on Sixteen with Somi (2015) and on Kpop Star 3 (2013). She says that this time she really wants to show us what she’s got. The other girls are excited to see her dance.

Trainees:

Lee Seung Hyeon (이승현), 17 now known as Riina in H1-Key, in the black shirt Lee Chae Yeon (이채연), 18, currently a soloist, in the pink shirt Cho Yeong In (조영인), 16, in the white Link to full audition on Youtube

Song: Shower, originally by Becky G

My thoughts: All three of them do well dancing wise. It’s not surprise that Chaeyeon would dance well, and she certainly outshines the other two, but Seunghyeon holds her own and Yeongin doesn’t look bad. I think vocally, Seunghyeon does the best job, but Chae’s belted note sounded good. Yeongin’s vocals were noticeably shaky compared to the other two’s. I think I would have given Yeongin a B or C, Chae would get an A, and Seunghyeon an A or a B depending on what the dance teachers said. Overall though it was a good audition.

The MNET edit is again pretty kind. Everyone focuses on Chaeyeon, of course. When they’re done, the judges ask her to freestyle to Instruction by Jax Jones featuring Demi Lovato, and she dances in a style that’s really appropriate to the song. Everyone’s impressed. The judges announces the grades. Chaeyeon gets an A, which seems completely correct. The other two get Bs, which is ok.

The editing is setting Kwon Eun Bi and Lee Chaeyeon up to be rivals. Surely, they must hate each other, if they’re both good dancers and their agencies are on the same street in Seoul!

In the audience, Kojima Mako says to her friend, “It’s so amazing that I’m not even nervous anymore. Our friend Juri says to Shinozaki Ayana, “I feel like I’m just watching a TV show.” Me too, Juri! We stan a relatable queen. But yeah, it’s more of the whole “the terrible, silly, weak Japanese girls are in awe of the mighty, powerful Korean girls” narrative that MNET’s editing monkeys keep pushing.

Auditions 4 and 5: The Very Pretty Girls

Next, we have the introduction of two Very Pretty Girls: Kim Min Ju (김민주), age 17 from Urban Works, in her colorful striped shirt, and Kang Hye Won (강혜원), age 18, from 8D Creative in a blue mini dress with a big pink and white collar. The other trainees think that these two girls look like actresses, so maybe it’s no surprise that now (2023), they are in fact both actresses. I renew my complaint from earlier that I don’t understand why certain girls are considered prettier than the others, and remind you that this isn’t an insult to them, as they are certainly very pretty, but more of a compliment to the others, who I view as equally pretty. Isn’t Kwon Eun Bi just as pretty? Is she not? I don’t understand. I will be saying that a lot in these recaps so I guess I’ll just call it my Particularly Pretty Problem (PPP) and leave it at that.

Agency: 8D Creative

Trainee: Kang Hye Won

In a pre-show interview, they ask her such questions as “were you always pretty?” and she says that yes, she is. This is the part of kpop I like least. She says that the position she wants is 청정 or purity. I guess I understand that -- there is usually a sexy member of a given group (see: Kai in Exo, Hyunjin in SKZ, Joy in Red Velvet, Soojin in G-Idle) and there’s usually a funny or approachable one (see: Chanyeol, Changbin, Wendy, Yuqi), so I could see there being a sort of pure or extra cute one. It’s not as crazy as it might sound.

Link to full audition on Youtube

Song: You and I by IU (2011)

My Thoughts: Well, that was pretty terrible. There’s room at the bottom, but she barely dances and she only kind of sings. The singing is breathy, faint, and pitchy. The dancing is half hearted and my grandma could have done this choreo even after her stroke. She has negative stage presence. Also, to me, she always looks confused. There’s something about either her facial features or her expression that make her look bewildered. I’m sorry if she’s your favorite. She may have charming personality traits that I don’t know about yet. She’s just not particularly skilled in either singing or dancing. She should get an F.

If you can’t handle me saying that about this audition, then I really suggest that you just not read any more of my recaps because I’m going to say stuff like this about bad auditions. I don’t care if she’s “pretty”. I don’t care if she has gone on to be successful. Other people -- Eun Bi, for example -- are pretty and they can also sing and dance. I believe that if you make your living as a singer and/or dancer, you should be able to sing and/or dance.

The MNET edit:They don’t do her any favors, zooming in on her non-dancing and focusing on the judges’ reactions to her shaky high notes and nearly stationary body. When she’s done, she stands there with this look on her face, which is the way I always remember this girl looking and how I recognize her in her more recent endeavors.

Dance Bae says, “Purity is all you have. F.” Done and done.

Agency: Urban Works

Trainee: Kim Min Ju

Link to full audition on Youtube

Song: No Matter What by BoA

My Thoughts: This was so much better than Hyewon’s audition. For one thing, she actually danced. She showed a variety of different actual dance steps, including legs, body, arms, head, face. She danced! The singing was extremely faint and I think a lot of it was the backing track, but this was leagues ahead. Without being able to clearly discern her singing, it’s so hard to tell, but I think I’d put her in C territory.

The MNET edit:They show the judges adjusting their ear buds and looking bored or put off, and focused on a part where she dropped into a squat and looked a little awkward. But that was just the dance move! This was originally done as a partner dance and it was adapted for a single person (I think? Unless it was just made new, whole cloth?), so maybe they should have just cut that squatting part out -- it’s not her fault. They also show a girl in the audience looking bored (maybe cut in from a totally different performance). It’s not kind. Minju, you deserved better.

They give her a D. I don’t know. Seems like they’re punishing her for being pretty. But maybe the singing was worse than I thought.

I’m not going to comment on it every single time it happens, but just assume that after every performance there will be a reaction/voice over from a Japanese girl saying, “If that didn’t get an A, I’m going to get an F for sure” or “the Korean girls are so much better than me” or something like that. It’s constant.

Auditions 6 and 7: The Punching Bags

These next two auditions are shown mainly to mock these trainees. Neither of them do a stellar job, but both deserved a little better than what they got.

We see a scrap of the audition from Shin Su Hyun (신수현), a 22 year old represented by FAVE Entertainment.

She’s performing Playing with Fire by Blackpink. I watched her full audition, but we only see a little bit of it in the actual show. She started off with rapping, which the edit doesn’t show; I think she’s going for a rap position, not a singing one, which helps excuse why her singing was weak. The dancing wasn’t great -- she was a beat or two ahead of the choreography (something I only noticed because I know the song so well). But I thought she at least had charisma. I think a C wouldn’t have been out of line, but I don’t know the rubric. The edit replays a part where she sort of does a chicken-dance wiggle during the chorus when that’s not quite what the choreo is like, but I had to go back and rewatch the original to see that the original choreo is different. The PWF choreography is kind of weird -- I’ve always thought so. What’s with the dogpaddling in the chorus, or that weird “drawing a line with your finger” at the end? Anyway, my point is that the edit makes her look even worse than she actually did.

They intersperse her audition with the audition of Cube’s Han Cho Won -- she’s only 15 here, but you may now know her as one of the most popular members of Cube’s youngest girl group, Lightsum. The edit here make her look like a complete idiot. If you watch her full audition, you’ll see that, yeah, it’s not great, but there are some extenuating circumstances.

The biggest problem is that the song was a poor choice. Red by Hyuna is a HYUNA song. Like a third of the lyrics are “red is Hyuna”, and there’s a whole 10 second segment where Hyuna just sits on the ground and flirts with the camera. It’s all about being sexy and having a nice body, specifically a nice butt, and the choreography is very core/waist/butt centered. It seems that Chowon just can’t quite move her body that way, and at 15, maybe just isn’t up the task of embodying the universal sex symbol that is a full-grown Hyuna. I don’t know who is!

Anyway, I think Chowon should have done Pepe by CLC, assuming she was going to stick to a song by a Cube artist. The song has a fun retro feel and it would have been more appropriate for a 15 year old who doesn’t know how to twerk yet. Or maybe Pretty Pretty by Pentagon -- I bet Hui would have helped her remix something for the show if the agency had asked him to -- he's a good sunbae -- and the song has quirky, funny choreography that might have made the judges smile. Sigh.

Poor Chowon -- it wasn’t a great audition, but I blame whoever either told her to do this song, or allowed her to do it if it was her choice. The whole point of having management is to get smart people to help you make decisions like this, especially when you’re fifteen. But that’s asking too much from Cube, I guess. Kahi even says that she had been at Cube briefly and that they don’t teach you anything, which checks out. Cube is just the WORST.

Both Chowon and Suhyun get a lecture on needing to learn (or review) the basics and both get a D. It’s not totally unfair -- it’s just that I know that there is so much worse to come.

More discussion about how the Japanese girls aren’t really given any training and just learn to perform by watching their sempai/sunbae/seniors. Dance Bae says it’ll be fun to watch them grow.

And now it’s time to see the AKB48 girls perform. We see that they’ve changed out of their entrance outfits -- those plaid monstrosities -- into different outfits, most of which are also monstrosities.

Audition 8: Get You!

See, it's a play on words because the song is called Get You and also MNET wants to get them

Agency: AKB48

Trainees: Oda Erina 21, and Nakano Ikumi 17

Erina, left, with the shorter hair and Ikumi, right, in the blue shorts.

The judges comment that Erina is known for her singing and Ikumi for her dancing.

Link to full audition on Youtube

Song: Get You! by Morning Musume (a different J-pop idol group)

My Thoughts: Well, this wasn’t terrible. They do sort of take turns either singing or dancing, and rarely do both at the same time. The choreography they do is mostly extremely simple and not super well synced, but they do throw themselves into it. They have a lot of energy, which I know is important in J-pop. If you asked me, “which of these is the singer and which of these is the dancer?” I wouldn’t be able to tell you. But neither of them assaulted my ears. Judged by J-pop standards, this was great. By K-pop standards, not great. I’d give them a C and see how they do learning the choreography for the signal song.

The MNET edit: The edit makes it seem much worse than it really was. Honestly, it wasn’t that horrific. They were more fun to watch than Kang Hye Won for sure.

The judges ask Ikumi to freestyle dance, which she agrees to with an English “Yes!” They play “Look What You Made Me Do” by Taylor Swift. She tries to do a sort of interpretive dance thing, and I appreciate that she at least tried. She has lovely body lines and seems to understand rhythm and tone, anyway. They keep showing her trip a little on her platform sneakers. God, those things look hard to dance in. After a bit she seems to give up, pulling her hair over her face, and the judges call it. Her AKB-mates are impressed, but the judges aren’t.

Dance Bae compliments her on her energy, but says she seems to not know what to do with it. “I’m not sure that the fact that you danced to the beat warrants you having won first place in a large competition,” Dance Bae scolds. “If you keep continuing like this, you won’t ever be able to perform on stage.”

Ikumi gets a D, and Erina gets a C. We don’t actually see that, though -- I had to look it up. It’s not part of the narrative to see that neither of them got an F, I guess.

Next, we have a mini montage of various girls, especially Japanese girls, saying that Dance Bae is the scariest judge, known for her terrifying line: “You really want to be a singer?!?” Which I think is a fair question! So many people get into the Idol Biz because they want to be actors or tv hosts -- I wish there was a pipeline to celebrity for people like that that didn’t involve them humiliating themselves on a show like this.

Auditions 9 and 10: What’s Your Name and Knock Knock

We cut to another audition, in progress, with a caption that seems to imply that this is just a preview (“Coming up…”) but no, this is the actual audition, as much of it as we’re going to see.

AKB: What’s Your Name?

Here’s the original song being performed by 4Minute. Things were different in 2013 -- this was before Catch Me If You Can by SNSD came out so nobody yet knew that women were actually able to do intense choreo, I guess. But even for 2013 standards, What’s Your Name has easy choreo. I mean, it barely has choreo aside from just sort of bending over and displaying your butt. Also, the lyrics are three quarters “what’s your name/ ireumi mwoyeyo?” So it’s a really good choice for a rookie group!

Here’s their audition.

Left to right: Manami, Ayana, Chiyori, Miho, Shinobu

Ichikawa Manami, 18, in the blue top, red skirt Shinozaki Ayana, 22, in the light blue skirt Nakanishi Chiyori, 23, in the pink fluffy skirt Miyazaki Miho, 24, in the sparkly top, navy skirt Mogi Shinobu, 21, in the turquoise skirt, fluffy blue sleeves

We just met Shinobu earlier, when she was talking about how scary Dance Bae is, got her name wrong, an apologized profusely. She's our living meme and we love her. We also almost met Miho; she was the one who knows how to write in Korean.

My thoughts: Oh no. There’s something so incongruous about someone in a sparkly cupcake skirt and Mary Jane shoes doing a pelvic thrust. These outfits look like… Ok maybe this is a deep cut but do you know those fashion plate toys? I had my cousin’s old one and I was obsessed. It was like stencils, but you had a head and a top part and a bottom part, and you’d choose one of each and then stencil over it to make a picture you could color.

That’s what these outfits look like. Like someone went nuts with a fashion plate and glitter glue and then just brought it to life.

Left to right: Shinobu, Chiyori, Ayana, Manami, Miho

It’s so hard to pay attention to their performance in those outfits. And the shoes! Those shoes I noticed behind Chaewon earlier are Shonbu's! And I’m obsessed with Ayana’s red-shoe-and-patterned-socks combo.

Also Miho’s and Shinobu’s… furry… peplums? And the quilted skirts? And how none of the tops seem to go with any of the bottoms, even though they appear to be dresses? Question Mark? It’s so bizarre to me. What. Is. Happening. Each dress is awful alone, they’re worse together, they're even worse with the shoes, and they’re the worst in the context of this particular song, which is meant to be sort of swaggy hiphop.

When I try to focus on the actual singing and dancing, there isn’t much there to judge. The song itself is kind of a nothing-burger tune wise and there’s hardly any choreo to speak of. They have energy, I’ll give them that. No one strikes an obviously horrendously bad note or falls over. They manage to do what they’re doing in some reasonably high heeled shoes, and they’re singing a song that is at least mostly in Korean. It’s clearly not up to the standard expected from debuted Kpop artists. I feel like I’d have to see them in normal clothes to be able to really judge. None of them stands out as better or worse than the rest. I give them an E for effort and I’d probably give them all Ds. They were still better than Hyewon.

Dance Bae gives Chiyori and Miho both Ds, and the rest get Fs. (We hear Dance Bae saying that they all get Ds, but the on screen caption says otherwise, and my internet sleuthing agrees with the on screen caption.) I think, watching it back, that Chiyori and Miho got Ds for just taking on a big role in the performance and trying that little bit harder. Miho seemed to be the main vocal, sort of, and Chiyori was the center.

Ok, let’s take a peek at some of the youngest -48 girls, singing the Japanese version of Knock Knock by Twice.

Asai Yuka is 14 and from SKE48. We met her earlier when she walked in with Jurina. Umeyama Cocona is also 14 and is from NMB48.

Left to right: Cocona with the big bow, Yuka with the blue ribbon

My thoughts: Aww, they just little babies! They probably practiced by themselves in a hallway or something for a few hours with no help. There’s not much to judge here. They’re obviously underskilled for this show and would have to be given Fs but it’s not their fault. I’m not going to make fun of a couple of 14 year olds who signed up for an adventure, not knowing how hard it would be. I sense tears in the future.

I wrote that, and then watched Dance Bae give them both Fs and say, at a pre-show meeting, “I think these girls will cry a lot while they’re here.” Perhaps she’d be pleased to know that poor Cocona withdrew from the show before the second evaluation even took place! There's also some potential back story here. Per reddit:

From what I’ve heard (and I’m not sure how credible it is), Jurina and Yuuka planned to perform together for the first evaluation, but the producers wanted Jurina to do a solo, so Cocona got pulled from the NMB group [that performs Funny People] and her and Yuuka did this. That may explain why they did…particularly bad, to the point where it looks like they don’t even know the song.

That does sound like something MNET would do, and it also would explain how these two girls ended up in a performance together despite being in different groups (SKE48 and NMB48), giving it the ring of truth. So I'm going to be even more sparing of my criticism of the girls. They do come across as unprepared, but I think that's just because.... well, they were, through no fault of their own.

In any case, Cocona is one of the Japanese trainees who withdraws early in the process. It's probably for the reasons we'd imagine -- flying back and forth from Japan is taxing, and she's young enough to need to go to school still. She probably just wanted to go through so much stress just to get insulted and yelled at. Can't blame her!

Since we’re not going to see much of Cocona again, let’s find out what happened to her after she withdrew from the show. She went back to NMB48 and continued performing with them for a few more years, graduating at a special concert on March 26, 2022. She did some modeling for magazines in 2020, so she might still be pursuing that. Here’s her instagram -- she has 95,000 followers and seems to post influencer-esque content with lots of hashtags.

Ganbatte, Cocona! Happy trails and much success to you!

10 auditions down, about 30 to go! Thanks for reading so far -- feel free to do all the things: like, reblog, comment, share, blah blah blah. Tune in next time when we continue the auditions, and stay warm, my friends!

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