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#why do I need to then explain to you what my plans are to do extra work to have it done by Monday
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Aita for venting?
Emojis, so I can find it later 💯⁉️💥 (unrelated, I just use them a lot)
So I(16) have been struggling with depression since I was, like, 10. It's been worse and better over the years, but something that really triggers it is extreme weather. Dunno why, but if its hot as fuck outside I *will* be considering suicide.
I regularly go to sleepaway camp every year. I usually do two weeks and usually go during the summer rainy season. Well, a year or two back (can't remember, got that depression and ADHD memory loss) I went later on in the summer than I usually do, and it was really fucking hot out. The whole time.
I could deal with it for a couple of days, especially because I was having a bit of romantic tension with J(16) (not real name, not even real initial). "I can survive any situation as long as I have a crush on someone there", or whatever that post said. He was really sweet and also suffered from depression. We talked about our struggles together, and he seemed to be responsive and chill about it. He did have trauma from his past with loved ones committing suicide, but he seemed to have worked through his grief and didn't have negative reactions when it was mentioned.
Here's where I might be the asshole. Eventually, the heat got to be too much for me, not to get too graphic but I was making plans, so I sent my parents a letter asking to pick me up. I waited a couple days for them to recieve it, and they did and called and said they would pick me up in the morning.
I delivered the news to everyone by being quite vague about what I had to go home for. When pressed, I said my parents didn't give any details and I was a little worried. That explained my acting weird away to everyone, but not J. He didn't believe me for one minute, and was determined to get to the bottom of it.
He took me outside, asked me what was wrong, and told me it was ok to tell him. It took a little convincing, but I eventually broke down and told him I was having suicidal ideation and that I needed to get the fuck out of dodge or I might do something drastic. I specified that I would be completely fine once I got out of the oppressive heat and humidity, just that I had to go home ASAP. I did ask him not to tell anyone because I didn't want them to worry, which I realize now was unkind. I should have at least told a counselor so that he wasn't alone.
Anyway, he immediately started having full-fledged PTSD flashbacks. I couldn't tell at first, but then I realized what was going on and tried to comfort him. It didn't work. The counselor that came check on us just kicked me out. I went back inside feeling guilty, but I was hoping that I reassured him enough that he would be ok.
He acted normal for the rest of the time I was there (we even kissed! That was my first kiss) and made me promise to text him when I got home. Naturally, I did, reassuring him and telling him I was feeling infinitely better now that I had air conditioning and my phone. When he got home from camp a week later, he seemed a little freaked out but seemed to be mollified by my texts.
However, a couple days after that, he texted me out of nowhere, saying that I shouldn't have told him about what I was going home about because I gave him constant PTSD flashbacks for the rest of camp. He felt sick with worry the whole time. I felt like shit, obviously, so I responded with profuse apologies. He seemed to accept them but still feel a little resentful.
I still feel really fucking bad about it. I actually haven't told anyone I know IRL about. Well. Pretty much anything bothering me since. I know that's a bit of an overreaction, but I don't want to do that to anyone else.
So, am I the asshole?
(By the way, if you were there or know me, I would love it if you could just ignore this. Please and thank you. And also never make me know you read this cause that would be embarrassing as fuck lol)
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ericshoney · 3 days
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Fight ~ Brothers!Sturniolo Triplets
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Summary: You get into a fight at school, your brothers find out and aren't happy, until you tell them the reason.
Warnings: Fighting, violence, drama, bullying, name calling, shouting, sorry to all the Jenna's, angst with a happy ending.
~~~~~~~~~~
You didn't mind school that much. Sometimes it was hard, especially with your brothers' fans. You had a few friends who were real with you and didn't care who your brothers were, however, many tried to be your friends due to you having famous brothers.
However, today was a rough day. Your maths teacher was being a right bitch, your best friend was off sick so you couldn't talk to them and your hockey practise had been cancelled, which was one of your favourite things about school. You were planning on just going home at this point, already about to cry. That was until you saw Jenna at your locker, her little posse laughing as they crowd around her.
Jenna was your worst enemy. She wasn't a fan of your brothers, which you were quite grateful for, but she took that as an invite to hate you, which you gladly returned.
"What the fuck are you doing around my locker." You called, walking over.
"Oh, just a bit of, redecorating." Jenna said with a smirk.
She moved out of the way and you saw writing all over your locker. Lots of hateful words and names. Slut. Clout chaser. Dumbass. Many more. Which made your blood boil.
"What you gonna do, go cry to your brothers. They don't give a fuck about you, that's why they left when they could." She said laughing.
"Fuck you." You spat.
"Aww is the little baby gonna cry~" She teased.
"I've had enough with your shit, Jenna! Don't have to like my brothers I don't like you! But you don't have to a fucking asshole!" You shouted.
"Your just an attention seeking whore." She called. Which was the last straw.
You threw your bag down and shoved Jenna into the lockers. She screamed as you punched her in the face and then pushed her to the ground. She tried to defend herself, getting a few punches and scratches here, but you were stronger, you grew up with four older brothers after all. You didn't stop, seeing the blood pour from her nose and lips, until you were pulled off by a teacher.
"Principles office now!" They shouted.
You sighed and grabbed your bag, ignoring the blood on your face from Jenna's nails scratching you.
"Your being suspended for two weeks. You can't go around causing fights. This is your third one." The principle said.
"She fucked up my locker and said shit to me and about my brothers!" You screamed.
"You threw the first punch." He responded.
"Take the two weeks, we'll have you back and you'll still be on the hockey team." He added.
You opened your mouth to argue but he cut you off.
"Argue with me and you'll be benched for the season." He said.
You sighed and slumped down in your chair, watching as he rang home. Nick, Matt and Chris were home in Boston for a while, but you thought they might be hanging out with Nate. So you expected your mum or dad to answer the call. You listened to your principle explain that you needed picking up about a fight. You looked at your shoes until he hung up the phone.
"Your brothers are coming, I will have a talk with Nick." He told you.
Shit you thought. You knew they would probably be mad, but you knew your mum would be upset as it was your third one.
"When you come back after your two weeks, your on thin ice. One more fight will lead to being expelled and off the team." He said.
You sighed again and sat quietly. About twenty minutes later, Nick walked in. You saw he wasn't happy. The principle explained the fight and your punishment before you were allowed to leave. Nick placed a hand on your shoulder as he led you to the car, where Chris and Matt were waiting.
"We'll talk once we get home." He said, his voice scarily calm.
You got in the car, both Chris and Matt gave you a look of disappointment before Matt drove home. It was a quiet ride home.
When you parked up and headed inside, Matt made you sit at the kitchen island as Chris grabbed a first aid kit, ready to clean up your scratches.
"It might hurt." Chris mumbled as he cleaned up the open wounds.
You stayed still, not wanting to make them more angry as he cleaned them up, the blood now removed from your face.
"What the fuck happened?" Matt asked, running a hand through his hair.
You started to explain what happened, from your bad day, to Jenna pissing you off. You were about to explain how she said shit about you and about them, but Nick cut you off.
"You can't go around starting fights just because someone doesn't like us!" He shouted.
"She said shit about me! Wrote stuff on my locker! Said shit about you! I wasn't going to let that slide, Nick!" You shouted back.
"You were defending us." Chris replied.
"Yeah, so what she doesn't like you. But it doesn't give her the right to say shit about you." You responded.
Your brothers fell quiet as you held your head in your hands. A few tears slipping down your cheeks.
"Mum and dad are gonna be so mad." You mumbled.
"I mean....we're not happy, but we get it." Matt said gently.
"It's my third fight." You admitted.
"What?" Nick called.
"Principle said if it happens again I'll be off the hockey team. Mum said if I had another fight I'd not go with you to LA this summer." You answered.
"We'll talk to mum and dad, okay. But what you need to do is find a way to release this anger in a different way. People don't like us, that's fine, we don't care. We have real fans and one is right in front of us. That's all that matters to us and your safety. You can't lose hockey, that's your safe place. But if this Jenna is a real problem, then we need to have a meeting with her parents too." Matt said.
"I'm sorry." You apologised.
"We understand why you did it. It's not the right thing, but we get it. So we can't be fully mad. Plus your not that injured so we taught you well." Chris said with a cheeky grin.
You smiled a bit as you looked at them, the three of them hugging you tightly.
"Well....I now have two weeks off school, so what should we do?" You asked with a small laugh.
"Your most probably grounded, kid. Don't push your luck." Nick answered.
You sighed as they laughed, but you knew they were right. You were just happy they didn't get really mad.
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rippleclan · 3 days
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RippleClan: Moon 44
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Oilstripe’s whitecough and Mosskit’s greencough are gone, but Wildclaw catches greencough.
[Image ID: Mosskit and Oilstripe leave the medicine den in the back with the words - GREENCOUGH and - WHITECOUGH under them respectively. Wildclaw faces Fennelspot with the words + CONDITION: GREENCOUGH underneath her. Fennelspot says “StarClan, a whole season of disease…”]
It would have been nice if Fennelspot could end his day by saying “Ah, Oilstripe and Mosskit are symptom free, all I have to do is care for Burdockcreek and I can rest.” He even got Spike out of the den for a bit. But alas, StarClan had other plans for him.
“When the branches creak and the graves all quake,” Wildclaw sang at the top of her lungs as Rattlepelt led her into the medicine den, “spooks come out for a singing wake! Happy haunts materialize and begin to vocalize! Grim growling ghosts come out to socialize!” Wildclaw flung herself about as she sang, unbalanced. Her breathing was quick and her body shivered even as she seemed blissful in her odd dance. Fennelspot had been mixing some of Burdockcreek’s medicine into a small meal when the two mollies entered his den. He stopped mixing and stared at Wildclaw, quickly dreading the hours ahead.
“What is this?” Fennelspot groaned while Rattlepelt nudged Wildclaw toward a nest.
“I had to convince her she could help Rabbitjoy and I in a performance to get her out of her nest,” Rattlepelt said. “I think she has a fever.” Wildclaw sneezed mid-verse. Fennelspot stuck his nose in her ear.
“You’re right about that,” Fennelspot muttered. Wildclaw coughed and sputtered over her nest, spewing green gunk as she went. Fennelspot backed up. “StarClan, a whole season of disease… now Wildclaw has greencough too!” 
“Can I help?” Rattlepelt gulped as Fennelspot hurried to his stores.
“Try to convince her to eat dandelion leaves,” Fennelspot huffed, pointing his tail to the small stock of dried leaves amidst his wide collection. “I’ll need to make more black cherry tea than I expected. This is a severe fever, use all the leaves. We will make do.”
“Fennelspot!” Oilstripe hurried into the den and bumped into Rattlepelt. Rattlepelt dropped the dandelion leaves. Her paw smashed the delicate dry herbs into fragments.
“Oilstripe!” Fennelspot groaned. “We needed that!”
“Stars, I’m sorry,” Oilstripe gulped, her gaze touching on Wildclaw. “It was for her, right? Let me help, I’m sorry.”
“No, please,” Fennelspot groaned, blocking Oilstripe from his stores. “You just recovered from whitecough, I don’t need you catching greencough.”
“Oilstripe!” Wildclaw loopily cheered, tail rising. “Oilstripe. Oil, Oil… I just want to say… you are, by far, one of the most interesting cats I have ever met. I’m so jealous of you! Why can’t I see ghosts?” She rolled onto her side with a dramatic groan.
“Thanks?” Oilstripe chuckled. “Wait, no, I came in for a reason. Fennelspot, you asked me to keep an eye out for Shadowdrop’s spirit.” Fennelspot’s ears perked up. Rattlepelt paused next to Wildclaw who, despite her fevered haze, latched onto her brother’s name. 
“He’s here?” Fennelspot asked. 
“He’s in StarClan,” Oilstripe said with a nod. “I saw him a few minutes ago, watching his kits.”
“It’s been over a moon since he died, why is this the first time you’re seeing him?” Fennelspot asked, moving closer to his friend.
“He wouldn’t talk to me,” Oilstripe huffed. “I saw him, he saw me, he walked into the nursery, and when I looked inside, he was gone and Troutkit started questioning me about the ‘weird look’ on my face.”
“Told you he’d get to StarClan,” Wildclaw grumbled as Rattlepelt groomed her neck.
“I thought you should be the one to let Downstar know,” Oilstripe explained, tensing a bit at the leader’s name. “She’s… never been happy to hear about my sight.” Fennelspot hesitated. He still needed to make his batch of black cherry tea and find a different treatment for Wildclaw’s fever. He didn’t have time to talk to Downstar. And yet…
“You both wanted to help me?” he sighed, padding to the bundle of black cherry bark he kept close by in recent moons. “Then Rattlepelt, would you brew more black cherry tea for Wildclaw and Burdockcreek? After you get Wildclaw into the quarantine den, that is. We have it for a reason.” Rattlepelt nudged Wildclaw to her paws, despite the sick molly’s whining. “Oilstripe, I need aspen bark for Wildclaw’s fever. There are aspen trees near WheatClan’s border. Harvest the bark and get back to camp quickly. Is your father in with Downstar?”
“He’s with Burdockcreek,” Oilstripe said, inching out of the den. “I think Downstar’s with Weedfoot though! I’ll be back soon!” With that, Oilstripe ran out of camp. Rattlepelt escorted Wildclaw to the quarantine den. Fennelspot groomed his chest and prepared to give Downstar the news.
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[Image ID: Fennelspot talks to Downstar, who is flanked by the spirits of Duskkit and Shadowdrop. Under Downstar, it says LEVEL UP! ADVENTUROUS -> WISE. Downstar says “There is no ‘getting better’, Fennelspot. I will always be like this. I have to learn to live with it.”]
Sure enough, Weedfoot and Downstar were both in the leader’s den, working through recent border patrol reports. Downstar noticed Fennelspot’s arrival first and paused mid-sentence, catching Weedfoot’s attention as well.
“Hello, Fennelspot,” Weedfoot purred. “We’re finishing up our discussion here, would you be able to wait a moment?”
“I just have something I need to tell Downstar,” Fennelspot explained. “I didn’t want to wait longer than need be.”
“Is it important?” Downstar asked. Fennelspot nodded softly, his nerves tickling his gut. “Well, go ahead and share the news, Fennel.” Fennelspot cleared his throat. 
“Shadowdrop has made it to StarClan,” Fennelspot said. “I… just received word.” Downstar and Weedfoot wouldn’t stop staring at Fennelspot. Part of him wanted to run away, but he waited as the weight of his announcement settled on Downstar’s bicolored fur.
“Six more lives to live,” Downstar muttered, “and I’ll see him again.” Weedfoot licked Downstar’s shoulder as the tortie leader bowed her head.
“I hope knowing he’s watching over you will help you get better,” Fennelspot said, bowing his head as well. Yet as he did so, the fur along his neck prickled. He looked up, and Downstar was glaring at him.
“Fennelspot, I need you to understand something,” Downstar grumbled. Weedfoot stepped back, feeling the raw energy rippling under Downstar’s fur. “I have been… I have not been my old self in almost two years. I can’t go back to being that molly no matter how much I learn. There is no ‘getting better’, Fennelspot. I will always be like this. I have to learn to live with it.”
“I’m sorry,” Fennelspot quickly stammered, “those were thoughtless words.”
“I’m not mad, Fennel,” Downstar groaned, shaking her head. “But… don’t treat what I have like you treat Burdockcreek’s greencough. It’s not something you can cure.” Fennelspot sunk into himself.
“Let’s get back to the border reports, Downstar,” Weedfoot muttered with a gentle touch to Downstar’s shoulder. Downstar nodded and Fennelspot carefully left the leader’s den.
The two of them could only do their best.
(Fennelspot: 101, male, cleric, insecure, trusted advisor, incredible runner)
(Wildclaw: 36, female, caretaker, fierce, trusted advisor)
(Rattlepelt: 27, female, artisan, fierce, leather artist)
(Oilstripe: 48, female, historian, charismatic, ghost sight)
(Weedfoot: 93, female, deputy, charismatic, steady paws, formidable fighter)
(Downstar: 103, female, leader, wise, trusted advisor, very clever)
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Spike’s wound is no longer infected. She observes Clan dynamics with a knowing gaze.
[Image ID: Spike talks to Carnationspeckle, who says “Well, how do you want to spend your days?”. Underneath the brown tabby, it says LEVEL UP! SPIKE -> SPIKECRASH, - INFECTION. Lavenderpaw approaches, yowling “You’re staying?”. Underneath Lavenderpaw, it says LEVEL UP! BOLD -> PLAYFUL.]
---
Spike still couldn’t move much of her lower back, and she still needed help to move anywhere beyond the reach of her nest, but she was at least out of that stuffy den for a while. The snow covering camp made her shiver. The view from camp toward the ocean was unmatched, even though part of the coastline was blocked by the camp walls. Spike never had such a good view of the glimmering water from her home with her mother. 
In the deep shine of sunset, RippleClan was alive. Wildclaw sang through her fever as Rattlepelt led her to the quarantine den. Ripplepaw and Lavenderpaw sparred outside the apprentice’s den while Carnationspeckle enjoyed the sunset with Troutkit at her side. Mosskit and Tempestkit led their nervous sister out of the nursery to practice hunting stances. Parsley and James joked outside of the elder’s den about their old lives with humans, stories that sounded achingly familiar to Spike. In that moment, she felt more alive than she ever remembered feeling in that old shack with her mother and aunt.
“Someone looks happy!” Spike startled as Carnationspeckle suddenly appeared beside her. A bit of pain rippled down her back when her body shifted awkwardly in the snow, but she bit it down. She’d grown used to the stiffness and frustration of being unable to move without pain.
“What can I say?” Spike sighed. “This place… it’s nice. It’s peaceful.”
“Not a bad place to recover,” Carnationspeckle purred. Troutkit, who seemed to have doubled in size since Spike first met her, peered around her mother and studied Spike.
“Your back’s healing well,” Troutkit hummed. “I can’t smell the infection anymore.” Troutkit sniffed the stick supporting Spike’s broken spine.
“Fennelspot said my recovery is improving again,” Spike explained. 
“I’m going to be a cleric when I’m apprenticed next moon,” Troutkit explained, hesitating between her words. “I’ll try to help you walk again.”
“Thank you, Troutkit.” Spike couldn’t help but purr at the way Troutkit stood a bit taller when she talked about helping. Troutkit hid behind her whiskers at the compliment. 
“You’re really starting to fit into life in RippleClan,” Carnationspeckle chirped. “Have you thought about staying once you’re healed?” The few muscles Spike could move in her lower half tensed.
“I can’t,” Spike muttered, shaking her head before she could say something she regretted. “My mom needs me. She won’t do well on her own. I don’t know if my father has seen her since I left, she could be…” She stopped, remembering the presence of the young kit at Carnationspeckle’s side.
“But if you had the choice,” Carnationspeckle asked, tucking her paws under her, “would you want to stay?”
“What’s the point of daydreaming if I can’t stay here forever?” Spike groaned.
“What if you asked your mom if you could stay?” Troutkit suggested. She copied how her mother sat, casting insecure glances at Spike as she talked. “If she loves you, she’d want you to be happy. You can always visit her!”
“My mother isn’t like your mothers, Troutkit,” Spike sighed. “She… well, she’s sick. She has been for a long time. She doesn’t see the world like we do, and that can get her hurt. She needs someone to look after her.”
“But don’t you deserve to be happy?” Troutkit asked. “Wouldn’t she want you to be happy?” Spike laid her head in the snow. Her deep sigh collected around her in a soft fog. It felt selfish, but didn’t she say something similar to Cinderella moons back, when her family was whole and Cinderella felt guilty for speaking to her Clan cat friend when she could be hunting?
“If I were to join,” Spike said hesitantly, “would I take one of the roles you talk about so much? What would I do with myself?”
“Well, how do you want to spend your days?” Carnationspeckle asked. Spike thought about it for a few minutes, letting the happy chatter of the Clan calm her nerves.
“I’ve spent a lot of my life helping my mother battle her demons,” Spike eventually said, pushing herself up. “I think I’m better at that than I ever was helping Cinderella in the hunt. Isn’t Palepaw training to help others in that way?” 
“She’s going to be the Clan’s first mediator,” Carnationspeckle purred.
“Then I’d feel less selfish if I was helping others,” Spike said with a bit more confidence.
“You’re staying?” Lavenderpaw scrambled away from his brother and bounded up to Spike and Carnationspeckle. “You’re joining RippleClan?”
“I think I am,” Spike purred. Lavenderpaw laughed, running and dancing around Spike. Carnationspeckle and Troutkit both giggled at Lavenderpaw’s antics.
“You should take a Clan name!” Lavenderpaw gasped. “Something like… Spikestrike! No, no, I have something better. Spikecrash!”
“That sounds so violent,” Carnationspeckle chuckled.
“It sounds powerful,” Lavenderpaw corrected her. “You should ask Downstar to name you Spikecrash!”
“Spikecrash…” the brown tabby hummed. “I like that name.”
(Spikecrash: 19, female, mediator, wise, good speaker, lore keeper)
(Carnationspeckle: 46, female, caretaker, compassionate, fish-like swimmer)
(Troutkit: 5, female, kit, insecure, morbid curiosity)
(Lavenderpaw: 10, male, warrior apprentice, bold, loves to sing)
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As Weedfoot leads a patrol with Clammask, Oilstripe, and Ripplepaw, an AshClan apprentice catches them by the border and begs to join RippleClan.
[Image ID: Weedfoot, Clammask, Oilstripe, and Ripplepaw face a silvery-pink apprentice with white spots and green eyes. Under her, it says NEW PLAYER: ELMPAW, 11, FEMALE, CHARISMATIC, CAREFUL LISTENER.]
---
The patrol to find Daphne, Spikecrash’s mother, was shockingly uneventful. Weedfoot took Clammask, Oilstripe, and Ripplepaw out the morning after Spikecrash asked the Clan to inform her mother of her new life. It didn’t take long to find where she had once lived with her mother, although no cat matching Daphne’s brown description lived in the abandoned human den on the edge of a vast field of wheat. A passing barn cat told the patrol Daphne had been scooped up by the humans who lived beyond the wheat field, so Weedfoot asked them to pass on their message and directed the patrol back to RippleClan territory.
Of course, there was still plenty of time left for the patrol to check some of the other borders of the Clan. Sure, the weather was cold and the snow tickled, but there was an energy to the patrol that day that no one wanted to destroy.
“When it gets warmer,” Ripplepaw promised, “I want to show the cats in LynxClan how we turn ocean water into drinking water. They’ll be so envious of us!”
“Alright, we don’t want to brag all the time,” Oilstripe laughed, playfully nudging her apprentice. “Just tell me how it works. I want to see if you actually understand it.”
“I’ve never had a head for science, personally,” Clammask chuckled as she and Weedfoot walked behind the excited mentor/apprentice pair. “I’m glad I don’t have to teach any of my apprentices how plants grow or how the stars move.”
“That’s why you’re a caretaker and we’re historians,” Weedfoot purred into Clammask’s ear. “Don’t tell Ripplepaw I’ve said this, or she’ll tell her brothers and make them jealous, but I’m rather proud the kit I named after this Clan is the one who decided to be a historian like me.”
“Do you think your kits have lived up to their namesakes so far?” 
“I can’t help but see a more mature version of the first Wasppaw in my son. The other three are quite different from the cats I knew though.”
“I could only imagine how Puddlespeckle might have felt about Puddlepaw. It would have been funny to see.” Weedfoot laughed alongside Clammask as Ripplepaw finished her surprise quiz.
“Ah, and here’s the AshClan border,” Oilstripe purred as the patrol approached the ever-familiar territory they once fought against. “If we fought AshClan back in the day with the size of our Clan now, we would have had a much easier time beating them.”
“I think another border patrol already beat us here,” Ripplepaw pointed out, scenting the air. “Our scent is fresh.”
“That just means less for us to do,” Weedfoo purred, stretching her hind legs. “It’s been wonderful walking with all of you, but I think we should head home and curl up around a fire before our paws get too cold.”
“Deputy Weedfoot?” A soft voice danced over the AshClan border. Everyone’s ears stood tall. Weedfoot took the lead and scanned AshClan’s heavy trees,
“Show yourself, please,” Weedfoot huffed at nothing. A chunk of snow fell from the trees. A long-furred, silvery molly jumped from the upper branches and landed squarely in front of Weedfoot. Oilstripe and Clammask took defensive poses beside their deputy. The newcomer shook loose snow off her thick pelt. She locked eyes with Weedfoot and bowed low and long in a way only an AshClan cat ever would.
“Deputy Weedfoot,” the young molly gulped, head still low, “do you know who I am?” It was hard for Weedfoot not to know. She shared her father’s smokey fur.
“Elmpaw, am I right?” Ripplepaw chirped. “You’re one of the caretaker apprentices in AshClan.”
“And Eelgrowl’s daughter,” Weedfoot said quietly. Oilstripe moved closer to Weedfoot at the mention of the tom’s name. Ripplepaw shifted back, her cheerful expression slightly strained.
“He’s Eelstar now, ma’am,” Elmpaw explained, daring to look up.
“Autumnstar’s dead?” Clammask snapped.
“For two days now, ma’am,” Elmpaw muttered. 
Weedfoot couldn’t get over Elmpaw’s news. Eelstar? The tom who murdered Weedfoot’s mate had finally become leader of AshClan? Weedfoot had prayed he would retire or pass on before Autumnstar. But now… what was Weedfoot supposed to do about him? How could she ever hope to work with him when he…
“Where’s your mentor?” Oilstripe asked.
“I snuck away,” Elmpaw said. She gave herself a few good licks, smoothing out her fluffy fur, and said in as respectful a voice as she could muster, “Deputy Weedfoot, I’ve grown up with stories of RippleClan’s open acceptance of loners and kittypets and all sorts of cats. I ask that you allow me sanctuary in RippleClan. I cannot live under Father’s leadership, ma’am. I’ll be a great caretaker for RippleClan, so please… take me back to your camp.” Weedfoot kept staring. She still hadn’t fully processed Eelstar’s ascension.
“You want to leave your Clan when your father has just become leader?” Clammask huffed. “Why would you do that? Knowing your Clan’s culture, you’d be in a position of honor.”
“I don’t want a position of honor, ma’am,” Elmpaw groaned. “I don’t want all the expectations that come with being the leader’s daughter! I’m not a leaderly molly. I could barely handle the responsibilities of being a deputy’s daughter.”
“I’m sorry you feel that way,” Clammask sighed, “but I don’t think we can in good conscience take an apprentice—”
“You can finish your training under Downstar,” Weedfoot finally said. She walked to the edge of the border and touched noses with Elmpaw. “I’m certain she’ll agree to let you join us. If you don’t want to live in AshClan’s culture, RippleClan is a safe place for you.” Elmpaw purred deeply. Her green eyes glittered in the shimmer of sunhigh. She pounced over the border and bowed once more to Weedfoot.
“We don’t bow in RippleClan, to start,” Oilstripe laughed. Elmpaw quickly stood, brushing off her AshClan manners with a strained chuckle.
“Weedfoot…” Clammask muttered, but this time, Ripplepaw interrupted her.
“We need to start our relationship with Eelstar on the right paw and show him he can’t do what Autumnstar used to do,” Ripplepaw declared, rubbing against Elmpaw. “What better way to do that than by stealing his daughter right under his nose?”
“What better way indeed,” Weedfoot muttered. 
I hope you’d approve of this, Paleshade.
(Weedfoot: 93, female, deputy, charismatic, steady paws, formidable fighter)
(Ripplepaw: 10, female, historian apprentice, charismatic, avid play-fighter, splashes in puddles)
(Oilstripe: 48, female, historian, charismatic, ghost sight)
(Clammask: 38, female, caretaker, righteous, lore master, good teacher)
(Elmpaw: 11, female, caretaker apprentice, charismatic, careful listener)
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myechoecho · 1 day
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The Double, ep 14
I just about lost my mind to see the Duke and Li start to work together, even if it is only the passing of information. The Duke has listened to what Li said about being alone and having no spies. So he using his spies for her (which is suspect overlaps with his own investigations). He calls her over, warns her about the Consort's plan and that she needs to be careful since the Consort's is Emperor's favourite. What more is Li listens and tells him, at least very generally, what she plans to do. PROGRESS.
The whole theatre scene was so good. Yes, the Duke used Li for cover but he clearly just wants to be there with her. You can tell with the whole question about the tea. He's desperate to know more about her and just what exactly happened to make her bitter about love. But he also knows just how far to push because he stops easily when she says he can't ask. You can tell in the way he softly smiles while watching her enjoy the play.
The Duke's fan not only doubles as a boomerang but a shield as well. I think the last character I saw so tied dramatically to a fan was Yi Bang Won in My Country: The New Age. I love how the Duke protects her and then holds her when she is injured. And Li does not pull away but leans into his embrace. The Duke is definitely angry that Li got hurt.
He tends her wounds personally, and respects her boundaries in regards to her keeping her shirt on. He does, however, get irritated when she says if he thinks him treating her is a favour then she'll get someone else to do it. In this case in particular, I think he feels guilty that he was not able to protect her fully so it would never be a favour to him. It's him atoning to her.
However, her next words softens his irritation. Because she explains and understands fully why he invited her there. She doesn't blame him. She's actually perfectly fine with it because it made her useful. I think Li is starting to see the difference between the Duke, where she and the Duke are useful/helpful/supporting each other, to her husband when she did everything for him (we really haven't seen Yurong do much for Li during their marriage). Plus, I don't think the Duke ever had someone see his thought process so clearly without him explaining it.
It's going to be SO GOOD when they fully, equally work together.
I also love how Fang Fei, as Li, has not forgotten Jiang Li. She is fully committed to avenging Jiang Li and sorting out all her regrets. She has two different revenge plots going on.
As for the Yurong, he remains an interesting character. His situation with the Princess is really a role reversal. With that type of power play, it normally is a woman who is under the control of a man. However, he is also exerting what power he has over her. He flat out tells her that what she did was reckless and she would have been punished (true). He frames it as him protecting her. Note how he also calls her Wanning and not Princess, which I think is a significant change. He tells the Princess to let it go - what does it matter when he is by he side? At this point I have my suspicions that he realizes that Li is actually Fang Fei. He's placating the Princess to protect Fang Fei and probably to let her complete her revenge.
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lyranix1201 · 2 days
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I have so many plot ideas for a nevermore fanfic, but there is a small problem.......
I need to write it😭.
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(it feels like torture not being able to write something, that you have been planning to write for so long).
It's a pity because I have so many ideas, like:
2 pirate AU (one of them, is were lenore is the captain of the well know myth called the flying Dutch man. and the other one, is lenore being a pirate and meeting a fortune-teller/princes Annabelle lee)
Mafia/cleaning service AU [ let me explain myself 💀. basically lenore and some of her friends (Berenice, Duke and pluto) work for this organization called Nevermore cleaning service, whose main objective is to Clean up crime scene's for the mafia.] (I have been writing the first chapter since April, and I'm still not finished😭 I hate being a perfectionist sometimes.)
3 what if scenarios. [ what if lenore didn't run after Annabelle after their argument (in this fanfic, I am pretty much just torturing Annabelle and lenore, I'm not even kidding 🙂🙈. I am going to put lenore and Annabelle lee through hell and back ). what if the misfits and the clusterfuck (we need better names for them) team up and escape nevermore, and I mean they team up immediately after they meet. What if Annabelle and lenore actually made a good plan together and didn't die.]
Jazz club AU ( everyone is dead and works in a jazz club except Annabelle lee)
Train conductor AU (technically you could call it that. Everyone is basically trapped on a moving train.)
"Mr. And Mrs Smith" AU ( inspired by the serie that came out in 2024 on Prime, not the movie. I have currently only seen 2 episodes, in summer break I will finish watching it.)
One were everyone works in a hotel and everyone is also death.
One were I got inspired by the series called "Umbrella Academy" that is on Netflix ( I remember watching this series like 2 years ago, and let me tell you something. well watching this series it felt like I was having a fever dream😵‍💫, and it didn't help that I was having an all nighter.)
Cult AU
Time traveler/Imortal AU
Superhero AU
Vampire AU ( you can't go wrong with Vampires)
A fanfic inspired by a books that I found in my portuguesa school library. The book is caled the "magician nephew"( yes it is in English, somehow I found a few English books there. I haven't finished reading the book, exam season is killing me.)
One were we follow theo in nevermore
one-shots( were lenore and Annabelle lee are just spending time together)
One were the cast are going on a camping trip.
And last but not least, 2 crakefics. one is inspired by a childhood series that I used to watch when I was a kid, that is on Disney channel called lab rats. And the other one, that I somehow promise myself to make, that is a lenore as snow White fanfic.
There are many reasons why I haven't finished one Goddamn chapter of any of the fanfic.
Knowing multiple languages (dutch, english, Portuguese and French) is a blessing and a curse, My dyslexic ass can't write for shit. I have so many difficulties in writing in all languages and i can't even write a simple frase in English, without going through the seven stages of grief.
(funfact: I fucked up, I couldn't even write the word dyslexic correctly, I wrote it like: deslesic at first 😭☠️) how the fuck can i be dyslexic in 4 goddamn languages. SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME.... FREE ME FROM THIS TORMENT.
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bestworstcase · 21 hours
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First i want to say that i love your rwby analysys, but i just discovered your blog, so can you explain to me why you hate Ozpin so much? Like, every minor thing he does and says must have some malicious intention behind it, but everything Salem does is part of a big plan that means that she's not actually evil?
ooh it’s been a while since we had one of these! 1. i think perhaps a closer read of my salem analysis is called for, because you’ll notice that i am, er, not shy about noting that salem is evil and this is in fact a central tenet of my reading of the narrative; i just don’t think she’s a one-note genocidal lunatic and it is extremely obvious that the narrative is heading in a "the brothers were and are wrong, and salem wants them gone" direction; 2. oz is second in my heart only to salem and cinder, which sort of speaks for itself in terms of "this character did bad things!" not being remotely a bad thing in my book, 3. and speaking of cinder, i get exactly as cranky about uwuified fanon sad wet rag ozpin who’s never done a thing wrong as i do uwufied fanon poor wittle cindy who doesn’t want to hurt people but salem makes her do it for exactly the same reason, which is that it strips out everything that makes these characters narratively and emotionally compelling in favor of mashing them into gutless marshmallow pod people for the sake of… i don’t know, making them neat and bland and easily digestible, i guess? uwu?
4. this is an ozlem house
5. i don’t think ozma has ever acted with malicious intention; rather, he’s been coerced into this situation where his faith in his god, his intense desire to do the right thing, and his terror of what will happen if he fails or disobeys—in combination with a divine curse that is literally designed to prevent him from being able to change or break free, because he has a reflection of himself monitoring his thoughts and actions all the time—are at war with his true desire (he wants to be with salem) and his conscience (he knows that salem was right about what is necessary to fulfill his task, that uniting the whole world under one creed is impossible except by genocidal conquest, and he cannot bring himself to do it because it’s wrong). he’s trying very hard to do the right thing in a situation where he genuinely believes his only options are to commit genocide for his god or sacrifice the whole world for his love and he is desperate to figure out a third option that does not end with "rocks fall everybody dies;" thence the lies and manipulation and all the miserable moral sacrifices he’s ever made.
6. the reason this is an ozlem house, in the sense that my reading of the narrative in its entirety is predicated on the ozlem reconciliation, is that salem and ozma are two sides of a coin: she is doing terrible things in pursuit of a world where the gods aren’t holding a knife to remnant’s throat and he has done terrible things for the sake of the same. their conflict isn’t evil-vs-good, but apostate-vs-zealot; salem believes the gods can and must be defied and ozma believes her defiance is doomed to failure. salem tells him that in order to unite the world he needs to spread his word and crush all who deny him; as the king of vale, ozma uses the divine relic of destruction to lay waste to not only his enemies but even his own allies, thus he forges the vytal accords that established the united global order in which the story takes place. he’s a better person than she is—because she’s been living in exile for thousands of years and her capacity for caring about other people has withered away to almost nothing as a consequence—but they are in every sense equals.
7. the narrative is overtly not on ozpin’s side? he has a whole atonement arc about it in atlas—& this is why i made the comparison to uwuified fanon cinder earlier, because the framing with regard to ozpin is very emphatically clear that he does a lot of things that are not good, and are in fact pretty sinister and in some cases (amber, pyrrha) outright evil, and he has to make the choice and put in real meaningful effort to be better. i don’t think there’s anything to be gained from ignoring what is plainly in the text of the story, especially when rwby is categorically disinterested in sorting its characters into neat little good-or-bad boxes. there’s no such thing as pure evil—that’s been the explicit textual conceit since volume one—and the implied converse is that there’s no such thing as pure good, either. (which is a conceit that ozlem exemplifies.)
8. i threw a fucking PARTY when we found out salem razed vale, i get the vapors every time i think about what sort of narrative escalation we can expect in V10 given that something as huge as razing vale can happen off screen to set the stakes for vacuo. not that i don’t also adore characters who are good or who (like oz in v7-8) grow and change to become better, because i do, but i really can’t emphasize enough how much i Do Not hate fictional characters on the basis of them doing awful things. what i want from a character is for them to be interesting, which ozpin is. what you’re perceiving as me hating on him is me dissecting him under a microscope because i love him to bits.
9. the ozlem screeds will continue until morale improves
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Hi Cas :) I just need a lil advice if that’s okay. I’m straight but i’m proudly dating a trans man, and so we celebrate pride every year. 
I’ve had people come up to me recently and ask me why I’m celebrating pride. I don’t make it a trend to out my boyfriend to people I vaguely know, so I tell them I’m an ally. 
I celebrated pride before I met my boyfriend (about 3 years ago) and I am an ally now, but to be entirely honest (and i regret this now), I didn’t used to care that much. 
I used to say I was an ally- but I don’t think I really was. I just sort of, didn’t care. But now I can proudly say I am an ally :) 
Anyway, recently someone who me and my boyfriend have been like semi-friends with (I met him through my boyfriend actually) asked me why I celebrate pride. I told him i’m an ally. And he said “but like, you’re more than an ally right? Cause of *boyfriend*”
This confused me, so I told him “No? I mean *boyfriend* has definitely opened my eyes more to the lgbtq+ community since I started dating him, but i’m still an ally? What do you mean?”
Then he begun a rant on how people who date trans people ARENT ACTUALLY STRAIGHT. 
I am angered. 
I am very angered.
I’m not gonna say it was easy at first, I wasn’t very well acquainted with the lgbtq+ community, i had sort of a, live and let live, opinion I guess. 
But when I met my boyfriend I fell for him pretty fast (which isn’t my usual style). 
It threw me when I found out, but I never really did question that I’m straight?
And i’m not questioning that now or anything, I love my boyfriend, we’re actually engaged (as of two months, he proposed on the anniversary of the day we met) and we’re planning our wedding and going to pride like we always do and everything. (And in case you’re wondering, we agreed i’d carry on saying boyfriend instead of fiancé, until I can say husband, cause he says it’s one of the little things that’s gender affirming ❤️) 
I guess I just don’t really understand why people think that dating a trans person changes your identity. For example, my family found out he was trans near the beginning because my sister cyber stalked him, found an old photo and figured it out. And then she “accidentally” told our parents (she’s since apologised), and they were all cool with it (although I was irritated he’d been outed) but they all IMMEDIATELY assumed I was Bi? And that I just hadn’t told them. 
Usually I ignore this (and i’m not offended that they think i’m part of the community or anything) but I find it a bit… like it’s de-valuing him and who he is? I don’t know if that makes sense, but it’s like saying he’s not actually a man- cause I have to be something else to love him? 
It just pisses me off, but he never seems bothered by it. In all the years i’ve known him, and everything we’ve talked about, he continues to be unbothered by it, saying that he can’t change other ignorance.
And yeah okay he’s right, he shouldn’t have to explain himself and neither should I. But why do people feel the need to assume? Or worse, give me a SPEECH about how i’m “probably not straight cause my boyfriends trans?” 
Also, I seem to run into the same problem with his lgbtq+ friends saying that to me AS WELL? 
Most of his friends are genuinely so lovely, and they all adore me (cause i’m awesome) and I adore them (cause they’re awesome) but there’s one or two who consistently make jokes about me liking more than men because of my boyfriend?
If they make comments in front of the others they’re always yelled at, and my boyfriend always tells them to leave me alone. But he makes these excuses for their comments, like the environment they grew up and they lives they’ve had. And I don’t feel like I have the right to tell them what jokes they can and can’t make, but really? 
Why make a joke that I HAVE to be something other than straight to date my BOYFRIEND. Stop saying he’s anything less than a normal man? Like I don’t gettt ittt at all. 
Someone once told me the definition of straight was to only feel sexual attraction to the opposite gender and that’s why i’m not straight. 
And I told them he IS the opposite gender.
And they went, yeah but he’s not Cis.
(also can I add a real quick, you literally cannot be a feminist and transphobic. Because so many people have said to me that the difference is what’s in his pants. Why do you care what’s in his pants? Why does anyone? Isn’t that the whole point? It’s so annoying). 
OKAY I guess this is just a rant. I can’t ask for advice on how to get everyone to just magically stop being a dick. BUT WHY? Why are some people like this? 
Maybe if you don’t understand something, just leave it alone. Don’t keep harassing me about whether or not i’m straight and DEFINITELY don’t ask me in front of my boyfriend dipshit. 
Ooooo, this is WOW
Okay so...ugh. I'm trying to form my thoughts.
You are completely right. Dating a trans person doesn't change your sexuality. If you, a woman, are attracted to men and only men, then you are straight. It doesn't matter if those men are trans or cis.
I think the problem is, and I'm trying to word this correctly, SOME people who are arguing otherwise think they are doing so for a good reason? Like they're being allies? they want to recognize trans people as part of the lgbtqia+ community so much that they forget that trans people can be STRAIGHT, and so can their partners. It doesn't make trans people any less a part of the community, it just means that they're...straight.
By mixing up gender and sexuality, these people are essentially being the opposite of allies to trans people. They're not seeing trans men as men and vice versa. its hurtful and invalidating.
So yeah, you are completely in the right, and I think it's important to remember that even people in the LGBTQIA+ community are NOT perfect. EVERYONE needs to constantly work on being educated.
Also, shout out to you for being such an amazing girlfriend. You really seemed to be working to support your boyfriend and his needs.
Naming you straight anon <3
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cevansbaby-dove · 2 days
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All my love is for you
Pairing:best Friend!Chris EvansXBest friend! Reader
Summary:You and Chris have been friends for two years and today was your birthday and he wanted to make it something to remember. Shout-out to who I wrote this for!! @nicoline1998enilocin Happy Birthday babe I love you so much!! 💙
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You woke up around six am and got ready for work. You loved it when you worked on your birthday you got to hang out with your coworker and got a text from your best friend Chris.
Chris-Good morning Sweetheart 🥰 Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday dear y/n...happy birthday toooooo youuuuuuuu!!!!
You laughed reading his message.
Y/N-thank you Chris!!
Chris-you're welcome, sleep well?
Y/n-yes I did thanks I am on my way to work talk later ok?
Chris-Sure thing sweetheart have a good time at work.
Y/n- thanks!
after you brushed your teeth and took a shower You got dressed into this cute outfit.
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You fixed your hair into a ponytail and then got out for work.
"hey y/n what are your plans?" your friend asked. "Oh i'm not sure yet, why do you ask?"
"I thought maybe you and chrisssss evanssss would have made plans" You smiled. "Why did you draw out his name that way?"
"because we all know you have a mad crush on him even if you just say your his best friend"
You nodded. "we are"
After work you saw Chris texted you.
Chris-Hey sweetheart, busy today?
Y/n-Just got off work...why?
Chris-i wanted to spoil my best friend on her birthday the big 26 ya know?
Y/n-don't remind me I feel old as is.
Chris-but you look beautiful at this age sweetheart 😉
You felt your cheeks turn red as you read his message.
y/n-aw thank you Chrissy!
You drove back home and then chris texts you.
Chris-so..you free for dinner?
You smiled.
Y/n-yes I should be..what time were you thinking?
Chris-five?
Y/n-Works for me see you then 😜
You smiled at your phone you adore Chris with all he has done for you from being there when you came down with the flu two months ago to driving you to the hospital when your friend got into a car wreak he never left your side.
you cleaned up your home a bit to pass the time then you saw it was four fifty nine and you knew Chris would be here any minute.
Chris rings the door bell and you walk over and open it. "Hi Chris!"you hugged him and he hugs you back. "hi sweetheart, happy birthday"
he pulls away and holds out these flowers
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"for the most beautiful birthday girl in this world" He smiled as you took them. "Aw Chris you didn't have to get me these" You look into his blue eyes and he says. "Come on what an I do for you?" You smiled. "just having you here is all I need"
He walks into your house and then says. "ready to go?" You grab your purse. "I think so." He opens the front door for you. "great I have reservations at the best place ever"
You smiled as you and Chris got into his car and he says as he drives. "So how was work?" "good. same old same old" Chris glances at you. "you don't sound to happy about it"
"I'm ok Chris thanks for asking" Chris reaches over taking your hand in his as he drove. "always"
You two arrive at the restaurant and Chris walks in with you. "table for two under Evans" You look around. "Very fancy Evans" He smiles. the waiter says. "Right this way please"
You two follow him and Chris pulls your seat out as you sit down. "thanks"
Chris sit across from you and you two start talking about a lot of things, Chris's work life and yours. He smiles as he watches you explain something to him. He always loved watching you talk he loved your voice.
After dinner you two drove back to your place for a nice soothing evening.
Chris is making some hot cocoa As you sat on the couch. "Chris I don't need all of this i'm not anything special" Chris walks in with two steaming mugs of hot cocoa. "Yes you are don't give me that shit sweetheart"
You took the cup and felt it was warm in your hands. "hmm I love this" Chris sits next to you and says. "can I tell you something?"
You look at him. "Sure"
“I’ve loved you since the first time I ever laid my eyes on you.” he confessed.
You smiled saying. “Well damn, why’s it taken you so long to make a move then?” Chris chuckles softly. "I have been thinking about telling you for months and I thought your birthday was the perfect day too tell you that...I want to be more than friends with you y/n if you want us to be friends then I get it ok? I would understand if you said-"
You lean over placing a kiss to his lips. He sets his cup down and cups your face then you pull away. "does that give you an answer?" He smiles. "I think so"
You sent him a smile. "good, now can we watch a movie and cuddle to end my birthday off?" Chris rubs his thumb on your cheek. "sure sweetheart, what ever you want"
You two curl up on the couch and Chris has you pick a movie and you lay back into his embrace and smile this was the best birthday ever.
Happy birthday again @nicoline1998enilocin thank you for being my rock during tough times and always willing to hear me droll over Chris lol I love you!
tags:@cutedisneygrl @katherineswritingsblog @patzammit @armystay89 @kmc1989
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hella1975 · 9 months
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basically threw away £20 on my nails today so was already getting weird bc i apparently cannot be normal about money and then my paycheck came through just for my manager to have knocked off 11 hours worth of pay. so naturally i am crying in a dark room about it
#this is such a girl moment wdym you’re crying about your fucking nails. couldn’t explain it to you if i tried#im just an utter FREAK about money and then for my payslip to get fucked as well. whyyyyy would you do that#im not built for the working world truly idk how sensitive people do it bc i am NOT im tough as shit 99% of the time and i STILL can’t deal#just give me my fucking money it’s not fair 😭😭😭 i worked hard 😭😭😭#and the dumbest brattiest part of this is that the thing that tipped me over the edge is that my mum didn’t offer to pay for my nails#like how ridiculous and spoiled is that but still i was so so angry at myself about fucking them up and it’s £25 to get them done tomorrow#and I’ve worked so hard for her this summer and both days I’ve been in town I’ve got her things#like nothing spenny but I’ve just thought of her and got her things I know she’d like just to be nice#and £25 is NOTHING TO HER AND SHE DIDNT EVEN OFFER 😭😭 she even joked it off#she was like ‘your dad would offer to pay if he was here but I believe in lessons’ GIRL FUCK YOUR LESSONS I WANT MY NAILS DONE 😭😭😭#why am i actually in tears over this. this is so silly. now all my money is fucked and im going to be the skint one when we go to dublin#AS USUAL. even though i worked hard and clocked the hours it still got fucked bc im fucking. cursed#im aware im being dramatic and this isn’t even about the amount of money i have atm i promise this isn’t some desperate bankruptcy claim#like for once im actually fine money wise it’s just all been FUCKED and my dates are now FUCKED bc i have to wait for next paycheck now#and it’s so unfair bc usually things go wrong for me bc im DUMB and mess it up LIKE MY NAIL APPOINTMENT#but for work and dublin i literally planned it perfectly and did the hours and it still didn’t work#like what is WRONG with me. i hate being an adult i need a sugar daddy ive had enough#the message I sent my manager…. scathing…. ik his scared of confrontation ass is panicking. give me my fucking MONEY#hella goes home
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800db-cloud · 1 year
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clingylilhoneybee · 1 year
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“Overtime is totally optional and always greatly appreciated as the extra work it is”
“Please tell us what your weekend overtime commitments are or what your plan is for completing x task by monday”
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fuck-spock · 1 year
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Oh my GOD OM FUCKING AUTISTIC???¿•¿°¿° Just sAY YES OR NO??? IDFK WHY ITS SO UARD FOR PEOPLE "are you free today?" "right now i am sleepin" THATS RIGHT NOW?? What abOUT LATER????? AHHHHHHH WHAT I AM I SUPPOSED TO GET FROM THAT.?? IS THAT A YES BUT RIFHR NOW IM NAPPING
OR NO BC IM NAPPING QLL DAY???? Whah
QNR SHE JUST ANSWERED. ONE WORD. SLEEPING. PLE ASE. 0L3ASE JUST SAY YES OR NO IM FUCKIGM AUTSITC SKGNDKKG PLEWSDE.
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pallases · 8 months
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YGHHHHFHF interviews are a joke
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myechoecho · 10 hours
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The Double, Ep 15-16
I loved these two episodes!
Of course they met at the brothel. What's interesting here is that Li is the one to instigate the bit of flirting because she thinks he's here to see her. Which yes, he thought he'd see her in Luyang just not at a brothel. When the Wu Lan interrupts them and deliberately gives Li the wrong impression, Li is hurt and yes, jealous, that he's really there on business and not explicitly there to see her.
The Duke does not know how handle the mess Wu Lan deliberately created and desperately wants to fix it with Li. But the Wu Lan takes pity on him and tells him that Li is jealous. Which gives him pause and hope that Li does have feelings for him.
One thing I love the most about the Duke is how much he believes in Li and respects her intelligence. He chastises his underling when he thinks he is underestimating Li. "You never learn your lesson. Why do you still dare to underestimate her?". He doesn't know what Li will do, but he does trust her to do it.
The Duke knows why Mr Li invites him to watch the "play"at Lizheng Hall. He sees Li there and just waits. Once Li finally makes her move, he really sits up and pays attention. When Mr Li expresses surprise that Li would stand up for the Ye family, he basically tells him in his Duke way to shut up and pay attention. Li hasn't even started yet.
He loves watching her display her intelligence; he's turned on by it. Look at his face when she stats to tear the official apart:
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I love their little interaction after the play. Neither want to give an inch. And while the Duke does get tiny, slight upper hand, he relents and asks her "Can you just let me let me win for once?". Which essentially acknowledges the power she has over him. Still, he does explain who Wu Lan is, as much as he's able to. Judging from Li's smile, she is happy with this explanation and that he wasn't at the brothel for carnal reasons.
At the same time, she refuses to let him know that she understood his message so he's left wondering.
I love the drinking scene! The Duke drops everything, though his investigation is coming to a critical point, to go to Li. He at first was going to let her do her thing, but then she asks him to drink for her. He started to reply that she should beg him and before he can finish, she does beg. He's surprised by this. Once he confirms that it won't be on her tab (which lets be real there is no tab where she is concerned despite what he says), she agrees to let him take over the drinking.
I like how the under lord cannot figure out if the Duke is her saviour or enemy. Even more, the under lord has a tie to the Duke's father. Li and the Duke's differing agendas are getting more and more intertwined.
Despite being drunk, Li still has enough sense to realize that she'll need to do something. It did not escape my notice that in her inner monologue she refers to the Duke by his name, Xiao Heng. I'm not even sure knows she did this. She comes up with the plan to use the fireworks and gets the Duke to shake the dice.
He immediately knows that she's has a plan and does it without hesitation. Once he understands what she's doing he's again turned on and proud of her. I think he likes seeing this side of her, the one that is more free. He also takes the time to ask what is most important on his mind - is she still upset with him?
I am so excited for the next episodes.
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rubberbandballqueen · 2 years
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growing up in a Very Pious Christian household in a Not At All Very Christian pocket in the otherwise Broadly Culturally Christian america sure has given me some strange expectations for other christians. like, i get it when most people i talk to don't know certain things abt christian culture, bc there are simply not a lot of other christians around here and i was taught growing up that We Do These Things Because The Bible Says So, and the bible is the Christian Book, so non-christians wouldn't know these things, and i'm like, "yeah ok, so expect other christians to know these things"
but now i'm starting to suspect that outside of this Not Very Christian Pocket, most christians raised in Christian Areas don't ACTUALLY know all that much abt what christians are Supposed to do and Why, which definitely does explain a lot
#i'm starting to gather nickels abt all the times i've had to explain what tithes are and where in the bible they come from (old testsment)#was talking to my Raised Catholic o chem classmate n they were like 'what? like i know there's the donation plate passed around n all'#'but i thought that was just like whatever amount' n i was like '...no the bible is very clear abt 10% of income turning into tithes'#also to be clear that conversation was had in the context of me talking abt putting aside 10% of my income to donate to various charities#of my choice (typically queer organizations) bc i Do Not go to church n after this sunday i still have no plans of returning!#but it's also made me think abt Why we might have that rule As A Community; bc putting smth back in to Your Community is a good thing#like for a lot of people their main community is religious/their church! but not everyone is like that#anyway i feel like i'm doing this thing where i pick apart my christian upbringing for spare parts n toss the rest lol#like 'yeah. be kind to people. support your community through resources you have bc you will fall back on their support too'#'none of that queerphobic nonsense or insistence on proselytism though we don't need that'#since the way i was raised this would mark me as having non-christian values i think i'm fine just being perceived as like#'non-religious but if you told me to pick a god n pray the christian god is still set to my default'#it's like being on the fringes of a fandom whose canon you've consumed but doesn't compel you fannishly#the worm speaks
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faeriesthrall · 2 years
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i have cried at work 2 days in a row this week. i love having a job:)
#i genuinely only have a day left in this department and my manager here was set on ruining my week#i genuinely had a report assigned to me out of the blue yesterday despite the fact that i asked whether i would need to submit anything#when i left this department#like i hate nothing more than a change of plans last minute and i cannot explain how frustrating this rotation has been because#the people here just don't want tk actually help me like everytime i ask for something they're like sure and then never do the thing?#like I'd not going to treat grown adults with kids like children and repeatedly ask them for the same shit#anyway so i get this report given to me and i haven't even had a chance to read through any other reports just so i have context#so i spent like 6 hours post work yesterday figuring the reports out using a template i literally only got from a coworker who isn't#even in this department so like this department continues to be fucking useless#so i spend my night working on this so i could have it done by 8 this morning and then i sent it to the manager#only for him to say its not what he wanted from me which like how would i have known what he wanted since he didn't fucking tell me#like ask for a failure investigation report and i gave you a failure investigation report#he now says he wanted me to research and explain the failure mechanism and describe it's process?????#like hello why didn't you fucking say that#i'm genuinely so pissed i've wasted so much time on this when i have an evaluation practice session on monday#anyway am i a crybaby? maybe but i just don't like having shit sprung up on me with poorly explained scopes because it's a waste of time#should this have gone into my journal? maybe#do i care? no
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