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laneynoir · 10 months

Note

In response to your request for writing ideas:

Anything featuring Boromir

Young Legolas sees Rivendell for the first time

Gelir hangs out with Radagast (yes, they were friends and I still need to write HCs about this)

Sam interacting with Boromir (I also sent this suggestion to Callon recently)

And a big hug because everything will be fine! ❤️🫂

I'm gonna write the rest of these in seperate posts and just tag but

Complete.

Boromir/reader Word count: 1001

Me on my way to drop this screw up: 🏃

Also this gets a little suggestive? I didn't mean to I swear.

Boromir just missed you.

The crack of wood breaking against wood echoes across the training grounds, multiple sparring matches stop and curious expressions are turned to the youngest who is similarly shocked, staring at the her opponent while holding a splintered training stave.

Breaths are quiet in the still morning, wisps of fog in the air more shallow than they've been since dawn. Suddenly the silence is shaken by a lifted chin as You speak, "Through that entrance ma'am, tell the man exactly what has happened and he will deal with you."

The short woman nods, only the faintest hint of a tremble wracking her body, it is quickly replaced by set shoulders and a steel exterior. When the door closes, You raise an eyebrow at the remaining students. "Standing still will not help you, back to the beginning, position one of Haradrin's style, now."

A flurry of movement answers your command, each studant eager to please, as well as desperate to not be sent off as well.

At the end of another hour, only one more trainee has broken his weapon, he looks near tears when he stiffly walks through the ornate door. Shortly after you announce the end of the session, and dismiss the tired looking youth.

With a sigh, you stretch your now sore arms, gather your gear, and head home. You too your head to the guards that you recognize in the halls, and grin when the two sent away from the training session catch your eye. "And how are the two of you?"

The young woman shakes her head. "Sore and recovering from severe fright, I thought I was being kicked out!"

"I did as well, that was a crule trick, splitting the swords so they would brake after striking in the right way enough."

You take on an expression of fake insult. "Hey now, those took a while to do properly! And really, I do like to see how my students can handle dissapointment, the wrong reaction in a fight can cost you your life."

A few moments later sees you at the entrace to your rooms. The door creaks when you open it -it always has, but since it is on pitch you never fix it- the area beyond empty, so you take the opportunity to pout at the absence of your husband.

At least he cannot poke fun at the length of the bath you take, for it is a good thirty minutes before the water has cooled ariund you and you drag yourself from the water. With vindictive pleasure you pull Boromir's largest sleep shirt over your head, after all he cant use it if he's not here.

With that depressing thought, you set to making a small dinner, and your hands are covered in flour when the sound of horns comes from beyond the window. There is a brief momment where you freeze, and then you are running to the door, slinging a cloak on against the cold.

There is a guard at the door when you arive, they do not speak, simply pulling at the handle and smirking as you race past. The paved pathways are a blur beneath your bare feet, and you take no notice of the occasional stones that prick at your toes.

The gates are already open and soldiers filter in on horses, there is cheering, but it seems quiet. Chestnut curls sway, snatching your attention instantly. You vault over the last flight of stairs, landing already in a dead sprint.

Boromir grins at your approach, steadying his mount, and when you reach his side he reaches down and pulls you up into his lap. He smirks, "Miss me?" You mumble a very eloquent 'shut up' before using his hair as a means to pull him into a deep kiss.

He pulls away, barely, and rests his head against your's. "And here I thought you wished never to make a spectacle of yourself?"

"I havent seen you in six months, heard from you in one and a half," You mumble, "For all I knew you could have been dead. I'm alowed one spectacular display under the circumstances."

"Well this display is one I wish not to see."

You grumble but accept Farimir's hand down. Boromir pulls him into a hug. "As you say my brother. I have missed you."

"Aye," Farimir smiles. "But you've missd y/n a bit more, and in a different way. I'll attend to your horse, you are long over due a bath."

"He's right." Boromir's second in command quips from behind you. "You smell like shit," He pauses and bows without loosing his grin. "My Lord." When Boromir frowns, he waves a hand. "I will take care of the report, tend to what's your's, unless you'd rather I?"

Without a word Boromir swings you out of your stance and into a bridal carry. You yelp, but he ignores your protests and continues in the same fashion until the door to your apartments is firmly shut. Once it is, he puts you down, only for you to find yourself pinned against it with a very very attentive husband attacking your lips. "You know he wouldn't have really. He was only goading you into taking some free time."

He makes a humming sound before nipping at your bottom lip. "Will you be joining me in removing the four from my hair?" You gasp as his attentions turn to your neck. "Do not sound so shocked dear one, as you come before me and my unit dressed in nothing but my shirt and cloak for all to see."

Oh. For you had, in your (compleatly reasonable) haste forgotten your currant wardrobe. " 'Suppose its all yours then," you place a finger against his lips, "Oh no no, it's your's after dinner." You wrinkle your nose. "And a bath, your brother's right you smell horrid."

#boromir #lotr #boromir x you #boromir x reader #farimir #my fic

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reileinaxiu · 2 years

Text

How I became Anti Jiang Cheng/Wanyin and Anti Jiang in General

Fair warning/s:

Dramatic story sharing. MDZS meta that blur with some fanon pet peeves. Jiang family bashing (yup includes YZY, JWY, JFM, and even JYL). Lengthy story/experience sharing. Some cursing/foul language, okay a lot of cursing that I censored might have missed just in case. Some ranting I guess. And maybe some leaps in logic. Chaotic writing.

So long story short:

I've read a fic with the JC bashing tag, enjoyed it and browsed and read more content about it and I was thoroughly anti JC by the end of it all.

An example is

"All will be well when the day is done" by abCEE. If you haven't read it I recommend it if the Lan clan still hasn't been ruined in your eyes.

Long story not so short:

Okay as you all might know or not know, I was introduced to the MXTX fandom through a fanfic crossover and entered through the donghua.

When I watched the donghua I was sort of indifferent to the Jiang family as a whole. I thought YZY was just this super stern drill sergeant type of woman. Maybe unfair to WWX because of her own bias towards his heritage. JFM was this timid person in front of his wife who doesn't want to get into conflicts. JWY was this broken grieving person after the Lotus Pier Massacre. And JYL was this mother/sister role model that had an unfortunate end.

I did not like them(probably never will at this point), I did not hate them (I should have hated them more), thought they were developmental to WWX as a character (still true but for a completely different reasons). But that was it, they were characters that had fulfilled a role.

Oh what a foolish uninformed lamb 🐑 I was back then.🥲 The donghua did not even begin to skim the surface of it all. Or maybe it did in an artistic license type of view and it was the kind people on the internet who analyzed the story and the original work that just pointed out to me what was obvious now. 🤔

Thank yous especially to: @flautistsandpeonies ,

@jiaoji2 , @withthewindinherfootsteps , @ladypfenix, @ninjakk and many more that I might have missed or yet to discover. Your mxtx content are entertaining and enlightening.

And thank yous to your works on AO3: Hauntcats, Karmiya, FlautistsandPeonies, Vrischika, miixz, glitteringmoonlight, justdoityoufucker and many many more great writers out there.

I definitely 😁 recommend their works.

Their works and posts have opened my eyes. 👀 And many others who I might have missed.

This was how knowing more both ruined and saved my love for MDZS.

It started when I began delving for fanfic on ao3, after finishing the donghua. Naturally, I began with the fics with the most Kudos, so I set my filters with the most words or the most Kudos along with the WangXian tags (Lan Wangji/Wei Wuxian).

Lo and behold one of the top fics at that time was a Jiang Wanyin centric time travel fic that I shall not name but bury deep within my reading history/bookmarks. I do not want to horrify you guys too much who are anti JC like me but the short synopsis was JWY travels back in time and fully supported WWX 🤢 throughout the Sunshot Campaign doing all the the things JGY pointed out in the Guanyin Temple incident getting a happy ever after of everyone lives(even JGY 😰) and noone dies(except mostly the Wen Sect not the Dafans) and JWY marries WQ 🤮.

Yes. I can't believe myself to have thought that was actually good. I got ulcers just thinking about it 🤢. What's worse 😱 is that I've read through several similar fics with JWY as a good brother, anger misunderstood trope and thought nothing of it at the time.

One of the worse of the worst were my ignorance when reading fics with side JWY/LXC tag.☣️🤮 If I knew I would have never touched any of these fics. But I absorbed the MDZS content through various media sources so my understanding was obscured at best and completely reconceptualized at worst. I hope my realization wasn't too late that I ended up reading about a homophobe in a same-sex relationship.

My poor ignorant self,😔 I forgive you for ever thinking any of those were acceptable homage to the masterpiece that is MDZS. Alas those fics in my read history will be part of a dark past that I might visit some day again only to treat it as the radioactive ☢️ toxic waste it truly should be handled as.

Don't get me wrong. It doesn't make any of those God awful plot devices better but at least those fics were still very entertaining and I appreciate all the work and effort the author had put in to writing them despite their uh...😦 misconstrued outlook on the actual canon personalities of the characters. Some of those fics were really long and well-written at least. So I find it a shame their great writing skills have gone in this direction.

Maybe 🤔 if I read those as extremely, extremely OOC then I guess they could be slightly acceptable. But till today there are plenty similar fic being written out there, and published everyday. I must sometimes cope by completely erasing JWY or any OOC Jiang from my mind whilst reading these types of mistagged fics. OOC JC tag should really be common so I can filter them out of my searches. I will always be grateful for ao3's sort and filter system.

Another, when exploring the fandom at first was that I was intrigued, amused and even confused 🤔 by all the controversy. On youtube, there were content creators fawning over JWY. So hey, I thought he seemed like a decently popular character.

Then someone pointed some things out to me and I was like " OMG 😱 What sort of deranged sick scum is this person and why the f*** out of all the villains that got their karma he still lives with a position of power".

Then I realized again after reading more mdzs meta, "Almost everyone in the Cultivation World except WangXian, the juniors(of every sect), WN, WQ, LQY and maybe NHS at some point are all corrupt assholes that deserve some sort of karma still lives with positions of power" 😱😱😱

So yeah. One of my problems when identifying good not OOC fanfics was because tags like the good sibling jc, yunmengbros reconciliation, etc.😖 was normalized by a lot of writers that other writers started referencing OOC fanfics as the true personality of those characters. That's why a newbie like me entering the fandom just binge read anything that was popular at the time and thought that it actually somehow corresponds to the original work. I am sometimes tempted to unsubscribe from certain MXTX content creators because they are JC stans. But I am conflicted cause they make really good WangXian content as well 😰.

For example:

Like when writers completely disregarding WWX's most important character traits to fit him into an OOC template @withthewindinherfootsteps discusses this very soundly and points out WWX's core philosophy. Writers have gone to create completely new characters and stamped them with the same name. They have lots of reblogs and discussion with this particular post

Maybe it's because I haven't read the entirety of the original work yet (I've only watched the donghua, the cql, followed the manhua, and skipping to favorite scene in thenovel translations) but further evidence pointed out by readers of the original work had thoroughly converted me. I do not commend any of the Jiang Family's treatment of WWX.

Feel free to skip to the rabbits if you prefer not to read some of these heavy criticisms about the Jiang Family and some cursing. Oh and maybe a bit of conspiracy theory meta.

Let's begin with this literal raging b*tch, YZY.

YZY was a child abuser, a hypocrite, and liar.

"What do you mean what do we do?! Can't you see yet? They came here prepared. Today's fight couldn't have been avoided. Soon afterward there'll be herds of those Wen-dog arriving. Leave first!"

"Shut your mouth! It's all because of you little...!"

-Exiled Rebel Scans Chapter Poisons (3)

These lines had been itching at me from the very beginning so... This was the Lotus Pier Massacre. A lot of others (particularly those who stan her) might think it was a sad heroic sacrificing moment as a mother that made a lot of people misconstrue YZY's true nature. She was neither self-sacrificing nor a mother.

She knew. She logically knew that the Wens were prepared and the fight couldn't have been avoided yet she still had the absolute gall to blame WWX of all the people present just because she can and just because she saw him beneath her. After punishing WWX herself as an act of 🤬 subservience to the Wen Clan she couldn't admit it that she herself was the one that escalated the entire situation to the Wen's advantage when WLJ taunted her about the supervisory office. She made everyone including the children to fight in that bloodbath just so her pride as a lady of a great sect remain unquestioned only saving her child and asking the disciple she abused mentally, emotionally and physically to give his life for JWY's sake. And look where it got her. If you ask me now, I'd say she totally deserved that humiliating death and WN should have left her and JFM's body to rot compared to my tragic first impressions.

JFM is as much as an abuser as YZY was. He was an abuser through neglect, and some form of exploitation. A lot of context clues lead to YZY regularly punishing WWX excessively. It's never really mentioned that JFM stopped any of these especially since it is most likely those punishments were handed indiscriminately without just cause other than YZY's hate for WWX.

Shown in the Lotus Pod Extra where it's only WWX who gets punished despite every other disciple doing the same thing. Punished with a whip a that!😨 And that was just an Everyday probably casual occurence in the summer.

The exploitation I have less evidence on that but from what I can understand (or don't) is that a disciple of a sect is more or less an employee and that they at least have some sort of regular stipend besides the facilities, housing and education given to them, otherwise why bother to become a cultivator of a sect when your financially challenged. I'm sure there's at least a few disciples who would send money back to their families because a cultivator's job has some monetary benefits that attracted them to Cultivation sects.

(Ps. Someone argue the flaws in my logic or support it with further evidence that you can find, I'd be grateful)

This isn't the case for WWX though. From the novel it was said that WWX explored the markets in Yunmeng and took whatever he pleased because the locals knew to send the bill to Lotus Pier and maybe he got an allowance that only equates to pocket money. It could be seen that he was well taken care of at least financially.

But from my point view its an indirect form of exploitation. This could be seen as WWX not having his own money to spend for himself making him monetarily dependant on the Jiangs generosity (which was barely existent). It made WWX all the more differentiated from the other disciples who were compensated for their rendered services. Especially since he was made the head disciple at such a young age he should have gotten a comparatively larger paycheck(ancient china payrolls) maybe even equal to the senior disciples because he takes on a teaching job.

When WWX was in the Burial Mounds with the Wens I don't think he had his own assets to claim and fall back on when JWY removed him from the sect. He was one of the key figures to victory in the Sunshot Campaign don't tell me he wasn't properly compensated for his contributions? If someone out there thinks that he gave his spoils of war to the Sect, then f*** the Jiang Clan, I call fraud and exploitation.

That's right folks! Lotus Pier was equivalent to a Japanese Black Company! Modern laws, on child labor and treatment addendums aside, at least in regards to WWX that is. Not only was WWX put to work in abhor conditions (abused; verbally and physically) he was also barely compensated, if not at all, for his services. YZY didn't make it any better siting unreasonable excuses of immeasurable debt that WWX took to heart. JWY also follows her mother's footsteps even when she died he also imposed this debt on WWX even when WWX already went above and beyond what stipulates on what a head disciple or even regular disciples owe to their sect. I could really care less how JFM didn't want to upset his wife or some other excuse, he is Sect Leader! He couldn't have not known what was going on. This has got to be some form of exploitation. 😡

I should write a separate post for all the things messed up about JWY. But to sum it up he expected WWX to abandon his moral code to pander to his sect leader position and Sect's reputation and leave to the Cultivation World's bloodlusts what was essentially a village full of civilians, children or weakened cultivators. He blamed WWX for JYL's death when he clearly witnessed what actually happened, it wasn't WWX who landed the killing blow(WWX even killed that stupid attacker the moment that happened, JWY saw that as well). He went on torturing to death anyone who slightly resembled WWX or was suspected of practicing unorthodox cultivation (keywords on slightly resembled and suspected never proven or justified) for years! Also hellbent on torturing and killing WWX in his second life by using his fears and guilt and that d*mn whip he inherited from his b**** of a mother. And he is an overall bitter and unpleasant character to be in the presence of. I could keep going on and on because there's a whole lot more and there is not enough words to describe how much of a terrible person he was by the end of the book.

Lastly, there is JYL. 🤨She wasn't very significant as the person WWX made her out to be. She wasn't a bad person but she also didn't make any strides to be better or do good. She always tried to make compromises but it was usually for the sake of others especially JWY and at the cost of WWX because she viewed him as being capable of carrying any burdens with a smile and not as a person that struggles or gets hurt by superficial or personal remarks. A peacemaker, timid like her father, avoiding conflicts instead of actually solving them. She claimed WWX a brother during the Phoenix Mountain Hunt and demanded an apology in the name of her sect but that all crumbled like a sandcastle on the beach and forgotten as dust in the wind when JZX confessed publicly and she secluded herself in her happy little married domestic life.😤 Either she was just an oblivious fool just like her husband and would have caused WWX's death by asking him to stand down when he was clearly being attacked or she really believed everything would go well if everyone calmed down or something. Or she was just incredibly gullible to the point of trusting her marital sect that repeatedly put down WWX. She is like LXC in this regard, and I have a lot of negatives and barely-there positives about him as well.

What frustrates me in fanfics with her in it is that she acts like both her marital sect or natal sect could never be in the wrong and that it should be WWX who should adjust is behavior when they were literally trying to kill him.

Is it appropriate to rant about other fics that pissed me off on tumblr? I won't cause it feels rude on some level.

Also I hate the line she said about WWX being born with a smiling face. That's like putting unrealistic expectations on WWX's head. Just because he can bare a lot of things with a smile doesn't mean he cannot get hurt? Newsflash putting up a smiling front is just one way WWX protected himself emotionally from all the rumors and vitriol from YZY. I know I'm being overly harsh but I can't help but feel infuriated. WWX is a strong person for putting up with the Jiang's bull****, horse****, dog**** whatever **** I can think of under the sun and still manages to be an inherently good person but that doesn't really justify everything that was done to him.

🐇🐇🐇🐇🐇🐇🐇🐇🐇🐇🐇🐇🐇🐇🐇

@righteousinadversity sums it up pretty well WWX's sufferings in life and a good chunk of that list is because of the Jiangs or could be traced back to the Jiangs.

If these realizations weren't enough to get me to go anti Jiang Family, I'd be wondering where my common sense went. I became extra wary of those fics tags with something like Good parent YZY & JFM🤬, Good sibling JC 🤮, Yunmengbros feels🙄, and a surprisingly eye watering amount of word vomit. 🤢

This doesn't mean I condemn all the fics out there that don't adhere to canon personalities even the ones I've already read. If the ficwriter was reasonable enough in writing a life altering event or tagging that the characters are going to act OOC. Then sure I might read a modern AU where JC is a reasonably less asshole of an adopted brother. Or an AU where the JWY and JYL try to makeup for their parents wrongs etc. I could probably stomach it with minimum nausea. Still doesn't mean I have to like it, I am just a poor deprived soul that seeks to consume as much mdzs media in my free time.😔

Although Post-canon fics where WWX or LWJ get along with JWY, 😑 yeah I'm drawing the lines where lines need to be drawn. I might make the time to delete a lot of bookmarks from my archives.

The only thing that saved my love for MDZS was WangXian and that speaks for itself because there's a lots of scummy characters (scummy as irl people, they were perfectly fine characters that drove the plot) and WangXian happens to overturn all those flaws because they are the exact opposite to such toxic relationships and toxic people. Plus just because I bash the Jiang Family so much doesn't mean I should stan WWX for the novelty of getting behind the hero or protecting a victim.

It's because WWX is genuinely a good person that I will stan him with all my squishy beating heart🫀!

He sees injustice and seeks to correct it. He had literal life costing wrongs done to him and he does not seek further resentment . He knows not to forgive and not to forget but also knows when to let go. And LWJ learned a lot from WWX and he became his moral compass. God 🤩 they are just so good together, good for each other, and good for everyone.🥲

May they forever ♾️❤️ be a happy couple.🥰

The rest of the trashy cultivators of the Cultivation World can get eaten by the Xuanwu for all I care. 🙄#turtlefood

I might get started about how I came to dislike the Lans in general or wished fiery deaths for most of Cultivation World. But that's for another time.

Is it hypocritic of me to continue reading these awful OOC Jiang fics? Maybe a little. 😐

Does it take me away from potentially great reads?

On my sane days I'd avoid them like WWX avoids dogs. If I'm feeling curious or just really hoping to find something fresh to read, I'd suck it up and pretend the poorly characterized Jiangs are florid mouthpieces used by the author that I can probably forget and ignore.😖

I think I have the same problem with Postcanon fics where WWX gets along with his in-laws. I read them ignorant of how the original work actually ended. Now I despair at how awful my reading history looks and I became very critical of the type of fanfics I presently enjoy.

Taking a page out of @FlautistandPeonies

Jiang family stans don't shit my post. I have literally tagged this anti-everything I can think of the first few lines were literally in big font titled "How I became anti JC"

Fellow mdzs meta readers come at me with gentle criticisms or discussions or comments (emphasis on gentle please 🥺, I'm a sensitive soul that easily loses confidence)

I got the courage to post this after reading a fic with YZY being her petty bitchy self. It was gloriously infuriating that I console myself with the WangXian ending. I might recommend that fic after it's gotten more chapters out (I don't want anyone getting conniptions from the cliffhanger) along with other anti Jiang Family fics.

#How I became anti jc #How I became anti jiang family #How I became anti cultivation world #mdzs #modaozushi #anti jc #anti yzy #anti jfm #anti jyl #anti jiang family #some lan sect bashing #How I floundered through the mdzs fandom at first #wei wuxian #lan wangji #Wei Wuxian's struggles #WangXian #I love wangxian so much 😭#Dramatic story sharing #Long rant #mdzs meta #Mdzs fanon pet peeves #Some author and Tumblr user recommendations #am I hypocritic? Sometimes #Was some of the content hypocritic? probably #Point out my flaws in the conspiracy theories or add evidence #I'd be grateful either way #Fellow mdzs meta readers come at me with gentle criticisms or discussions or comments #Emojis are great and people should use them more often to highlight their words 🐱#I got the courage to post this after reading a fic with YZY being her petty bitchy self #lots of cursing

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scribefindegil · 1 year

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Do you have any fic recommendations? Absolutely adore your writing and I'm struggling to find any other fics beside them that I like quite as much

You'll have to be more specific! There are plenty of Mob fics (I assume you're talking about Mob fics) that I've enjoyed reading, but almost none that I would recommend to everyone without caveat.

I think it's a really hard fandom to write for because there's a lot of nuance to the story and characters which is agonizingly difficult to get right. The characters are all very multifaceted and contradictory in a way that makes them easy to mischaracterize. The story does a really good job balancing psychic battles with slice-of-life moments and humor with drama and character beats that make you cry your eyes out. It has a light touch to a lot a character moments which can conflict with the fanfic urge to really roll around and wallow in emotions, especially those connected to trauma. Its moral framework is very different from the dominant paradigm of American culture and media (in a way which I find extremely good and refreshing and cathartic! But which is often not reflected in fanworks.) And then on top of that I am extremely sensitive and cannot handle any content where the characters don't get to be happy, or AUs that feel like they don't give Mob a robust enough character arc, or anything that feels Thematically Inconsistent, or or or.

ALL THAT TO SAY i am very picky despite having read through nearly the entire dang ao3 tag (with the obvious filters).

So.

There are basically zero fics where I'm like "Yes, this is perfect, this feels exactly like the show and the characters and I will recommend it to everyone!" There are a lot of fics where like. They are well-written and I think accomplish what the author set out to do but they are not What I Want because they don't feel like Mob to me (on a spectrum from "What the author wants to accomplish is diametrically opposed to what I want and it makes me Mad" to "What the author wants to accomplish is like. Adjacent to what I want but we disagree on some finer points.") And there are a lot of fics where I very much enjoy some aspects of them but am unhappy with others.

So like. What do you want, specifically?

I could give you a reclist of "Fics that handle X character well." I could give you a reclist of "Fics that handle X relationship well" (within reason; I mostly care about gen so I've read a bunch of shipfic but I'm Not The Target Audience for anything except ekurei and maaaaybe terumob). I could probably give you a reclist based on a specific trope or mood. I could give you a reclist of "Fics that are objectively good in most regards but they don't include Dimple so I'm grumpy about it." I could give you a reclist of "Fics I read during my three-month curse-induced fic binge that made me stop and say 'oh' out loud because everything was starting to blur together and they managed to feel sharp and different." I wish I could give you a reclist of "Fics that handle The Themes well" but. I have not been satisfied on this account.

But I can't just give you a general reclist because depending on where I set my standards it's either "That one timeloop fic that's on every reclist ever and absolutely nothing else" or "200 things with various longwinded disclaimers".

#SORRY THIS WAS PROBABLY NOT HELPFUL #mob is hard to fandom for because i love canon SO much that anything else is like #okay you need to Convince me #conversations #mp100

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spacemancharisma · 1 year

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hello. please add the community label for sexual themes to this post https://at.tumblr.com/adult-cool/703815114825007104/3q9g80hzplo4 to let any of ace fans of this podcast to blur or to filter this post out. it may be drawn well, but looking at it is very uncomfortable if you don't enjoy the thoughts of hurting this character this way. thank you.

oh shit you’re so right- my apologies, I forgot community labels are a thing now. if it’s also beneficial, blocking the tag “nsft” is a way to filter nsfw content without the op being removed from the tags. but yes, thank you, I will do that right away.

#ask #anon #I do want to acknowledge that I don’t loooove sexuality being equated with hurt #like yes there’s a level of discomfort depicted in the drawing #but there was not meant to be any actual pain/hurt in it and I don’t feel super comfortable with them being conflated #not something I really want a conversation about #just wanted to say

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frankmillerturnonyourlocation · 1 year

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God me too buddy 🫂 you wanna have a really casual chat about f/os whdhsbdj we can be the burnout club… maybe just reply with a character and emojis if the burnout makes words too hard dhdjdjnddn

Yes absolutely burnout club 🎆🌠🎆 the past few months have been a crazy blur but I love spring best so I’ve been taking lots of pictures when the weather’s good so I can come back to April later 💙🌈💙 I hope the months have been treating you as kindly as they can.

ANYWAY kfhdjsld okay okay I have. a silly little crush right now. And it’s the most ridiculous character ever. Because I went with my siblings to see the musical Something Rotten and it was REALLY well done and I left with a crush on. sigh. Well as an introduction. Something Rotten, in case you’re unfamiliar, is a meta-comedic musical about two brothers, playwrights in the Renaissance (through, of course, a tongue-in-cheek modern lens), competing for notoriety against Literal William Shakespeare, who’s fictionalized as a self-obsessed, attention-loving, plagiarizing modern celebrity. Guess what character I walked out of there with a crush on. fljdjskd it’ll PASS it’ll pass my fictional crushes don’t last long and I can’t watch any live theatre without falling a little bit in love and I REFUSE to add Fictional Version of William Shakespeare to my blog. But ANYWAY *muffled through hands covering my face* that’s where my head is right now. It’s ridiculous and I hope someone else finds it as funny as I do. While I imagine my little scenarios.

Anyway I’m putting my chin in my hands now tell me who you’re thinking about most right now!!! :D (I have to say I love seeing you blog about your loves and crushes but I especially like seeing your stuff about Jonathan Sims— TMA actually wigged me out pretty badly for Horror Reasons for a while when it was first super popular, so I had the tag filtered out for a while, but your sweet posts are the only TMA things I see on my dash these days, and it’s really shifted the associations I have with the story as a whole now!! It makes me happy to see :D)

#and I hope hope hope you have some time to really recharge in May!!! I hope May is our month #tysm wish 💞💞💞💞 I didn’t realize how much I wanted to just chat I wrote way too much fldjdh I hope it makes sense #sending you wind chime songs and dandelion fluff and if it’s nighttime for you I hope you sleep well!!!!

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autumnal-experience · 8 months

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i'm really sorry for bothering you, but i was wondering if you could tag the ai art you post/reblog sometimes?

i have epilepsy and scrolling past it without a warning can trigger my seizures (they're non-convulsive, but I lose huge blocks of time to them, last time I lost 20 minutes and the episode of Greys Anatomy I was watching had switched to the next one and I had to run it back, plus my hand was on my keyboard when i was triggered and i'd typed like 1000 Ps into my document).

I received a request like this a while back. Now normally when someone messages me that they have an issue with my Tumblr, or the way I choose to blog, I remind them that this is something that I do for myself and that they're welcome to unfollow me and select another Autumn blog to follow. However, that message caused me to reevaluate my stance on AI art. Yes, it's still Autumnal art, and some of it is quite pretty. That said, some of it also looks really fake and even a bit off-putting in a way. So I decided that I just wouldn't reblog the images that are obviously AI or that were tagged as 'AI' or 'AI Art'.

Now I know a lot of people use filters to enhance their images to soften, blur, or bring out the colors, adding a lot of emphasis to the reds, yellows, and oranges, which make the image really 'pop' but also adds a little bit of a surreal look to them. That, in combination with some programs that make even AI images look hyper-realistic, it can sometimes be difficult to discern the enhanced, from the outright fake.

Ultimately, I do my best to not reblog the AI images, but occasionally some are going to get past me; and as AI technology gets better and better, it will also be that much harder to sort generated images from real photos. If you feel I'm being subpar at that, then I would refer you to what I eluded to in the beginning of the response; just unfollow me and seek out another Autumnal blog. But I would caution you that images that fool me will likely fool others as well.

All that said, I would offer just a bit of unsolicited advice, and believe me when I say that this is coming from a place of genuine concern for your well-being... AI art, and filtered images aren't going anywhere; in fact, they're going to become even more pervasive as we move further and further into the future, and if you're having these kinds of issues from viewing certain enhanced, manipulated, and generated images, you may want to consider visiting your doctor and arranging a consultation with a neurologist. Again, this is simply a suggestion out of worry for you and what you're going through, as AI art isn't limited to Autumnal images. I suspect if it isn't already, it's only a matter of time before we will be bombarded by it in every conceivable way and location.

I'll continue to do what I can on my end to not reblog AI images. Whether you decide to stick it out with me, or end up moving on, I sincerely wish you the best and hope that you don't suffer any more episodes as you described.

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alwaysthesitter · 2 years

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i'm not trying to be mean at all with this... but have you thought that maybe some people unfollowed because of the excessive nsfw content? some people just don't like to see it constantly.

You aren't being mean at all, I want to preface with that. :) And I hope this doesn't come off as mean either when I say this. Can I see it? Sure. But it isn't my job to curate a safe space for others. Steve, canonically but ESPECIALLY fanonically, is a player. With a long list of sexual reputation. It's a big part of his character to me, so yeah, I play with it. That being said, Tumblr is great (ha, can't believe I'd ever say that) in ways that you don't have to see the nsfw content. For one, my tag is always going to be [nsfw*] and I tag everything EXCESSIVELY. So you can blacklist my tag. Two, Tumblr has this nifty new thing now where you can curate your space to be what you want, and you can turn on the 'mature filter' content so you don't see that stuff or it warns you and blurs it out. I think that's pretty nifty. That's definitely ways that you can make your dash a safe space!

But my final statement on it is that, honestly, I really don't post it that much? Yes, I posted that gif set this morning....after it came up on my dash from six other blogs. All my smut threads are posted under 'read more' (which I personally hate doing but I do it TO keep people from being bombarded with sex). And yeah sometimes like last night where I posted the same meme that 15+ other people did, and got like 4000 responses about Steve's sex life, it comes up more than other times. But really, I don't feel like I post smutty content more than any other blog that I follow. Maybe I just follow a lot of sexy blog content posters, haha.

Tldr; I'm completely not going to judge you if you unfollow me for things being too spicy on this blog. But there are definitely ways to not see that material without unfollowing a person if you feel like it, and I'm not going to stop posting it because sleeping around is a big part of Steve's character to me. Hope that helps?

#[answered*]#[ooc*]

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smalls2233 · 1 year

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I saw this post the other day and have been thinking about it since then. It’s not that OP is wrong, but I don’t think that they’re fully correct either

Yes, the “antis” and “puriteens” are not at fault for the rising conservative and sex negative movement going on in the world right now. But it does show how even in liberal spaces, we’re seeing that sort of rhetoric come into play. Also chocking it just up to middle schoolers is disingenuous bc we’re seeing older teens (like, the ones in college) and adults (in their twenties, and even older) getting into this sort of rhetoric as well

But aside from all of that, I think there’s another thing at play here:

The blurring of boundaries between adult spaces and teen spaces.

As more and more social media sites implement bans on adult content (see: rise in conservative rhetoric) people who make adult content start finding ways to skirt around those rules. Talking in euphemisms, posting cropped screenshots, posting fetish content that’s just far enough removed from looking directly sexual (or drug paraphernalia content that is disguised as other things) to get past those filters

All of those things play in tandem. Sex toy creators can’t say “wow look at the wolf dildo I’m making” on tiktok, they have to say “doing a silicone pour for my new wolf sculpture!” And that’s… that’s bad, right? They’re showing their sex toys that are just far enough removed from looking like a dildo or pocket pussy, and talking around them with their cute little wink wink nudge nudge to get around those content filters.

And there’s no way for kids to avoid that

You can’t blacklist tags on tiktok, you can’t decide “I want to see actual wolf sculptures, not people pouring wolf dick dildos,” there’s no way to say “I want a kid friendly space” because these websites are supposed to be kid friendly

The fact of the matter is we have a lot of adults skirting the rules of these sites and it does make it harder to be a kid not wanting to be inundated with sexual content. Tiktok is an incredible resource for small businesses to get out there, but you also have to consider the fact that maybe, just maybe, it’s not the space for your foreskin cuddle keychains

And it goes beyond tiktok! It’s hard to be online without seeing sexualized content. The Puritanism rising with teens these days is coming both from larger society, but also from the fact that these boundaries between adult spaces and kid spaces have been blurring for years. How many of these kids who are considered puriteens are 16 years old and were inundated with my little pony porn back when they were watching MLP as a six year old a decade ago?

As adults, we have a duty to think about where and how we’re posting things. I’m not saying cut out sexual content, but I am saying that you need to make sure that you’re posting it on appropriate sites, tagged in appropriate ways, so people who want to avoid it actually can avoid it

#personal #the anti vs proship debates are stupid #most would end up labeling me as proship #but I also think that some would label me as an anti sex anti for this #there are spaces for adults that minors should not be entering in #but as adults we need to be careful and think about if it’s actually an adult space to begin with

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transienturl · 1 year

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hi! you seem to know a great deal about this xkit rewritten. im a tumblr user back from the early 2010-2016 years or so and i always used xkit. however, my question now is, do you have a suggestion on what are tumblr setting preferences should be AND what our xkit rewritten preferences (disable/enabled, etc) should be to get it as close as we can to the old tumblr dashboard? Many thanks!

Hello there!

Hmm, let's see. I made my blog in 2011, so I guess I was around in that era. I don't remember the exact details of what the Tumblr UI was like at particular times super well, but I can go through my settings and just kind of see what I think a returning user might be interested in off the top of my head.

I might or might not go into detail on what every XKit Rewritten setting does (I've been thinking about things like recording a video going through all that—maybe when we start running out of new scripts to add), but I'll call out things that stand out.

First off, I always install Palettes for Tumblr (download link in @addons!). I personally use the "circa 2016" palette, i.e. "old blue," but April's also got an even older blue in there, and it's fully customizable if you want any other color scheme you can imagine! I change the font to Helvetica Neue and bump the font size down by one as well; do what looks good to you! Also check out Outbox.

Okay, Tumblr settings...

Account:

Community Labels:

Set the toggles to whatever you want; I go for "blur." Take them off "hide" unless that's really what you want; it'll hide flagged posts completely from your dash with no indication that they're there!

Filtered tags and filtered post content:

Use these like you would use Blacklist or Tumblr Savior to hide any content you don't want to see! This will apply to your account wherever you're logged in (mobile apps and desktop web), and will hide post content with a visual indicator that you can click to unhide it.

Absolutely enable the option in XKit Rewritten's Tweaks to use a slim layout for these (this should just be changed on the site, imo), and optionally hide filtered posts completely.

Here's some detailed info about the difference between the two that I wrote for something else:

Filtering a word or phrase as a tag will hide any post with that exact tag (no wildcards) and reblog chains whose original root posts contain that exact tag.

Filtering a word or phrase as post content will hide any post with the specified word or phrase anywhere in the post text or in any usernames, including in the middle of a word (filtering "ash" will hide posts with "dashboard" or "fashion"). It will not search the post tags.

Yes, there's no way to do a wildcard search that works on the post tags right now. Yes, this sucks.

Dashboard:

If you like visible timestamps, I suggest turning the "show timestamps" option on here. Additionally, I use Timeformat in XKit Rewritten to make them more detailed (I use MMM D, YYYY · h:mm A; feel free to experiment with the options here).

I turn "shorten long posts" off. Up to you! XKit Rewritten has its own Shorten Posts script with more customizability over how long a post has to be to be lengthened, if you'd like.

Turn off the "best stuff first" and "include [etc]" options under preferences if you want your main dashboard to be the old-style, just-the-blogs-I-follow-in-reverse-chronological-order.

Ad-Free Browsing

If you have the money to spend, I encourage it. The site is super fast without ads, and Tumblr needs revenue to pay for developers, moderation staff, and servers.

If you do, I personally allow Blaze ads; they can be kinda fun sometimes. Up to you!

Privacy

Decide if you want to let others see if you're active.

Labs

I absolutely love the Blog Subscriptions tab, which lets me make a mini-dashboard of only the blogs I really want to see every post from, so I turn that on. (To subscribe to a blog, open it up on the dashboard, hit the three dots menu, and click "get notifications." This will give you push notifications on the mobile apps.)

Heavy queue users may appreciate the fast queue button, but if you're an XKit Rewritten Quick Reblog user, there's already an easy way to do that.

Per-blog settings

If you leave/turn "enable custom theme" off, your blog will only show up inside Tumblr itself, which is actually my preferred way to view people's blogs (it's very good now!), but you'll probably want to turn it on to enable [yourblog].tumblr.com.

Decide who you want to be able to leave replies on your posts! (I use "everyone.")

XKit Rewritten scripts:

Tweaks:

If you use Tumbr's filtering options, I recommend the use a slim layout for filtered posts or hide filtered posts completely options, as mentioned.

Turning the changes/etc carousel into a line is a fan favorite. It acts as a "here's where you were up to on your dash" indicator if you turned off the algorithmic stuff in dashboard settings, as mentioned above. If you like it being a carousel, you can turn off the animations in AccessKit.

Remove the sticky effect from the dashboard tab bar. That's the one that appears/disappears when you scroll. (Lots more in here to hide UI elements you dislike, if you dislike them).

Quick Reblog is the renamed version of One-Click Postage, which is of course a fan favorite as well. Turn "Show the comment field" on if you want to be able to add text when quick reblogging (though the regular editor form is usually better for additions). "Suggest tags from the post being reblogged" is great; click in the tag text box and they'll all pop up so you can select the ones you want to copy. Set the limit on saved reblogs higher (imo there's no reason not to).

You can set a queue tag here, but it'll only be added automatically when you use the Quick Reblog popup; put it in Quick Tags too so you can easily add it when queueing a post using the full editor form.

Quick Tags: Add your saved tags here and they'll show up in the Quick Reblog popup!

Classic Search: I don't use this, but many people want pressing enter in the search bar to go to the tag page, as it apparently used to?

Open in Tabs is kind of broken at the time of writing (just a note in case anyone is confused).

No Recommended: Pretty self-explanatory; if you don't like recommendation carousels between posts, enable the "between posts" ones.

AccessKit: This is where Disable Gifs is, if you were looking for it.

Quote Replies: Used to be called One-Click Reply! (This only works on the activity page at the time of writing, not in the activity dropdown menu that you can access from anywhere.)

Tag Tracking+: Many people apparently thought this used to be called something else, but if you're looking for that big sidebar with all of your tracked tags, here it is.

TimeFormat: I mentioned this earlier when we talked about timestamps! (I prefer this over the Timestamps extension, which we kind of semi-retired.)

Trim Reblogs: This is the new way to trim down roleplay threads in a way that's actually supported by Tumblr's UI! To use it, draft or post a reblog with your additions, then navigate to it and press the scissors icon. You can pick which reblog trail items stay, so if you and your RP partner start with a post with just a title, you can keep it on top. This requires the thread to have been started with the new post editor (or on the mobile app).

There are definitely more scripts that I swear by, but I think this is long enough! Also, there are some bits of classic XKit functionality that we haven't quite gotten in yet. I might edit this post later if we add something relevant, but I probably won't. Feel free to check, though!

#long post #I mean readmores work everywhere now right? so not actually a long post

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toomanystoriessolittletime · 1 year

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Hi! I hope it is not too weird to ask, but I am really trying to understand - I totally get that it is not ok to post something private about Pedro himself and treat disrespectfully him and his private life, call him daddy and seek for his reaction to it.

Although, I've seen people here that say the same but also post fanfiction/gif posts where Pedro characters can be called daddy and/or lot of thirsting takes place. You write fics yourself. I mean, is it different because Pedro boys are fictional characters and the whole point of fic is to be fictional story we'd like to imagine? It's still Pedro impersonating them and people thirst over Pedro's appearance and etc, not somebody else's, while reading those. It's unavoidable to imagine him there, playing the character.

Again, I'm not trying to insult you, in fact I actually love your writing) it's more like I question my morals, as I love Pedro for being sunshine and pretty man who brings joy, but I do love smutty fics with Pedro boys. Many people do, as I see. So I started to think about morality in this. I don't like to read fics about Pedro being a real person, it feels intrusive/disrespectful/inappropriate, as if trying to guess what's he like in bed. Just no.

Sorry for long read, but I am really curious what do you think. Have a nice day✨

Hi!

I will try to answer this the best I can. I have a weird english day today (this morning i thanked someone for his injury instead of his inquiry in a work email and I've been trying not to carve my own eyes out ever since)

I have thought a lot about morals in the last years, it's a big factor of why i stopped writing RPF (let me tell you, meeting the actual person you wrote smut about is the weirdest fucking thing ever).

I feel like in the last years the line between what is normal (boundaries!) and what is not got very blurred? It seems to me that people have no filter, get very invasive and just shout out everything into the void that has become the internet. (and media is not helping with that either)

Like I wrote in the tags earlier today the thing some years back with people finding it totally normal to share the private address of Keanu Reeves to a point that people just showed up at his house (seriously, what is wrong with people?)

There seems to be no boundaries anymore and I hope it never gets to that point with Pedro. Part of me is relieved he has no twitter anymore cause holy crap the things that must be happening over there...

I only see what happens in reblogs. I'm not on tiktok. I only follow like 60 people on here. My instagram is even more dead. And I am glad about it lol

The only place where I really "thirst" is on discord and that's more or less private. To me it's a difference if I say things in private or post them online for everyone (and the media) to see.

And with fanfiction...

Yes you could argue that writing smut about an actor's character is sexualizing the person itself too. But personally I don't think of Pedro as a person at all when I write or read about his characters. I think about what he brought to the character. Yes, they might share his face, but everything else is fiction. Does that make sense? In my head it does.

The last thing I would want from Pedro is to do anything I wrote with his characters about. I would take him out to eat a cupcake and then gift him a spa day so that he can get a massage for his back and after that a good night of sleep. It's really werid if you think about it. His characters could probably have me on my knees with a snap of their finger but Pedro would not get more than a hug lol

Pedro is just the newest person to be hyped on the internet (and with that always comes an influx of people) and after S3 of the Mandalorian things will die down again (mark my words) but i am genuienly concerned for where this will be going in the meantime

#asks #fandom

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uweiy · 2 years

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39-42-50🙆

Thank youuuuu for the questions! Ily 💝

From this ask game by @clumsyclifford.

39. Is any aspect of your writing process inspired by other writers or people? If so, who?

Yes and no?

No, because I don't think I have a writing process lol. My writing process is –the process you'd have for a first draft of a novel maybe?– have a story idea and scribble everything onto a page lest you go insane, and because you want to know what happens. Then I reread it and tweak it and pepper in some foreshadowing, better the descriptions, better the characterization (since u always know the characters better at the end of a fic than at the beginning).

And yes, because in terms of the actual WRITING, probably every single fic I've ever read, every experience I've had, every book and every show I've seen.

42. Have you ever received a comment that particularly stood out to you for whatever reason?

My memory is terrible so nothing imprints really long-term but all types of comments stand out to me when I recieve them !! for like different reasons :

The "asjcidkdlodidjsbs" or like "loved it!" Comment : This person probably did not have a lot of time or didn't know exactly what to say but still wanted to tell you they enjoyed ur work 🥹👌yes good 10/10

Detailed quoting things back to you: U guys are the backbone of society. So GOOD to know which words struck a chord in different people. Thank you for the delicious fucking food. 🤤💯👌 10/10

The one line "I love the way you did [precise thing like characterisation, this scene etc.]": You probably touched the exact something I was insecure about, cradled it in your arms and told me it had worth. I am probably crying. 🥹😳👌 10/10

The repeat commenter: You can say whatever. I love your face. I am kissing you on the mouth. ❤️👌 10/10

50. Answer any question of your choice, or talk about anything you want to talk about!

Thankss!!!!!

2. Go to your AO3 “Works” page, to the sidebar with all the filters, and click the drop-down arrow for “Additional Tags.” What are your top 3-5 most used tags? Do you think they accurately represent your writing habits?

Besides the one blurred out (fluff) i mean. Yes. That's what I write mostly! I love getting characters together with what canon gives me. Love me some tension first but dear lord happy endings. And canon universe! (Though I do write AUs sometimes).

The talk about anything

I love fanfiction writing.

I love it. It's so good. I love taking building blocks from canon universe and fill in the gaps and overanalyze and delve into the minds of the characters to craft a story that makes sense to me. I love getting into my favourite characters's heads. I love finding underlying themes and learning more about the show and myself and what I want to express.

I honestly never thought I could write fanfic 3 years ago. If you feel compelled to, if you are hesitating, if u like reading it but are like 'i could Never'. DO IT. TRY IT OUT.

Write two sentences in ur notes. Write for yourself. Post it if you want. Get some support.

It might not be for you. But again, it might!

10/10 recommend it! 👌💯

★

My ao3

Fandoms:

Asian Dramas: The untamed, the devil judge, Mriad, love is science?, Some others

more recently Stranger Things

#why is it that I can never keep my answers short lmfao #thanks soooo much for the questions I had a lot of fun!#fanfiction #writing #the untamed #cql #wangxian #tdj #love is science?#gahan #beyond evil #chuyao #stranger things #ao3 #ask game #steddie #grabyourpillow

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annamarabella-grumble · 2 years

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As I said in my intro post, I've always been here (feeling like Darling from Control saying this lmao), and still it feels so strange to be doing anything other than reblogging shitposts on this dash.

It's worrying to have to find new shores are years of getting pretty comfortable on one platform. It's nothing I've not done before, but it's exhausting every time; moreso because this time there's also supplementary income attached.

I'm feeling instinctively more at home here than on Mastodon, though -- obviously, kinda, but also because just this morning I saw three separate posts re: "use CWs if you discuss politics; respect the culture" pop up on my feed over there, and it's like... eurgh.

To be clear for anyone who's not checked out Mastodon yet: content warnings blur the entire content of a post. Unless users have set their preferences to posts marked as sensitive always being shown, they will have to click on the post to see it. Pretty much like blocked tags with xkit.

Perhaps this is my 12 years of tumblr talking, but we are all responsible for curating our own experience. If your dash sucks, that's on you; if your timeline sucks, that's on you. Yes, Mastodon has additional local and federated feeds -- and plenty of filter options.

Writers and scholars I follow are having their profiles shadowbanned on Mastodon because they're continuing their work on race, queerness, and systemic inequity there. I appreciate that instance admins are within their rights to set up guidelines and enforce them -- however it smacks of something when the tenor seems to be, 'ugh, the activists are ruining the culture.' Especially because those bans are going to disproportionately affect users of colour; especially on large federated instances like c.im, mastodon.social or mastodon.online.

You might answer, well, those writers and scholars are welcome to set up their own server. They are. And then, if larger instances refuse to federate with them because they're "too political?"

I support using tags, content warnings, and sensitive content features; I do the same on here and on the bird app so people are able to filter out what they don't want to see. But there's a difference between giving users tools for content curation and filtering versus demanding summary self-censoring of marginalised people for literally anything that isn't sunshine and roses; crucially so when a "no politics" rule lacks precise definition. We've been through this, here and other places.

I read those posts, and immediately I ask myself: If Mastodon's supposed to democratise social media... what culture's that, then?

#thinky thoughts #blue hellsites #mastodon

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whumpy-writings · 2 years

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Prologue

Welcome to Blood of Magic, a brand new fantasy whump series! Epic fantasy is my first love, and this story has been rattling around in my brain for over a year.

There will be blood magic! A whumpee who is also a reluctant whumper! Lots of angst! And comfort (eventually)!

Tagging a couple people who I think might be interested, just let me know if you don't want to be tagged: @thecyrulik @thecitythatdoesntsleep @whumpsday @whump-cravings

CW: Restraints, military setting, slavery, implied minor whump, begging, fear of death, knife, blood magic, pov character death

Jax breathed in deeply, the air fresh with spring. Light filtered through the treetops, the new leaves rustled in the wind. It was a beautiful day to die.

He sat on the ground, his head resting on the tree behind him. The shackles on his wrists were too tight and he shifted uncomfortably. He could hear the cries of battle in the distance, the screams of the dead and dying. He would be numbered among the dead today, his screams joining theirs. Finally. He was suprised he had lived this long.

Two soldiers dragged him to his feet and Jax gasped as the blood flowed back into his legs. They didn’t speak one word to him. Not that he expected them to. He knew they were afraid of him, even though it was preposterous. He didn’t look frightening. He was tall and lanky, almost skeletal. He didn’t have fangs or claws or horns. Hell, he hardly even had muscles. He stumbled as the soldiers led him towards the sound of battle, their hands gripped tight on his upper arms. Like he would ever even think of running. He knew there was no escape for him. Had known that since he was twelve years old.

Jax’s heart started to beat faster as the roar of battle drew nearer. He was scared. He thought he wouldn’t be, but now that death was close enough to wrap its cold hands around his throat he was having second thoughts. Yes, his life had been hard. At least the ten years since he was taken. Full of pain and suffering. Loneliness most of all. But there had been small moments of happiness. Of contentment. Like this morning when he got to watch the sunlight dapple the forest floor. Or a couple months ago where he had been given a lemon tart by one of the younger soldiers when the commanding officer wasn’t looking.

Jax didn’t know what awaited him on the Other Side. Nobody did. But everybody agreed that his kind were not welcomed with open arms by the Goddess.

They were close now. The sounds of battle filled Jax’s ears. The clashing of swords, the cries of pain, the shouting of orders. Jax started to shake. He didn't want to die. Not really. Not like this. Not with a blade buried in his heart.

Jax's stomach dropped when he saw the Mage waiting for him. His executioner was nondescript, besides the black tattoos that wound up his arms and the slash of black face paint across his eyes. And the bone dagger that was strapped to his waist. Jax fought then. He struggled against the soldiers, panic flooding his system.

"Let me go! Please, just let me go!" he screamed, voice raspy with disuse. Tears pricked his eyes and streamed down his cheeks. The soldiers didn't let him go, of course, and he was too weak to put up much of a fight. They threw him to the ground in front of the Mage, the rock splitting open the skin of his knees.

Jax snapped his eyes up to the Mage. His face was unreadable, his mouth set in a thin line. He knelt down before Jax and gently grabbed his chin. Jax sobbed as the man ran a thumb across his cheek.

"I'm sorry, my friend," the man whispered. Jax's heart skipped a beat. The Mages never talked to him, never. And absolutely never called him friend.

The Mage pushed Jax onto his back and Jax didn't fight him. He had used up the last of his energy straining against the soldiers. He stared up at the sky, a brilliant blue with fluffy clouds. His vision blurred with tears as the Mage straddled him, pulled his knife out of the sheath. The Mage's hand was warm against his bare chest.

The blade was quick. Jax gasped as the bone dagger punched through his chest and into his heart. The power in his body burst forth into the Mage, and the last thing he knew was the way the Mage's eyes turned a brilliant yellow and the screams that rose up from the battlefield.

Let me know if you want to be added to the taglist!

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ashintheairlikesnow · 3 years

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imagine: Chris’s survival instincts kick in and he fuckin shoves Nova onto the floor and runs. Nova may or may not get injured from this. Chris then feels guilty about it and doesn’t explain to anyone what really happened because he knows she’ll get in serious trouble for that, possibly removed from the house even

(follows directly on this post)

CW; Noncon touching, noncon kissing, very brief emeto ref, Nova's fucked-up whumper discussed, past noncon reference, conditioned response, trauma response

"It'll help you feel better," She coos against his ear, and Chris's stomach does backflips around inside of him. It feels like his panic knocks against his rib cage like wings beating desperately to escape, but he can't do anything more than pant, mouth open, pulling in air that smells like Nova's shampoo and skin.

"It, it, it d-doesn't-" He can barely force out the words, his tongue nearly as frozen as the tips of his fingers, hands down gripped into his sheets, fabric twisted until the fitted sheet is pulling off one end of the bed. "Please, it's, it's not, please-"

"You don't have to be shy," Nova whispers, kisses his cheek, his jaw, back to his neck. She's already sucked a red mark there, right where a collar used to be, once upon a time.

When Chris swallows, he can feel the leather he hasn't worn in years, tight around his throat. He can very nearly hear the clinking of the metal tag at the front.

Her hand is untucking his compression shirt, baring skin to the air, to the heat of her hand. She's sucking on his neck again, biting down hard with her teeth, a flash of pain and then the heat and wet of her tongue, and he groans, disgusted and shivering.

Her other hand is hard at work, and he hates it, he always hated it, he never wanted hands there. Or anything. His wrists jerk, he wants to push her away or tap or hit or do something, but his body is still, only shifting his hips into the rhythm of her hands on sheer instinct from training that his body hasn't forgotten, no matter how badly he wants to.

"I'll make you feel better," She says. Her voice is so soft and sweet, higher-pitched, entirely unlike Laken's deeper husky almost-growl. There's no maliciousness in her face when she pulls back to meet his eyes, no sparkle of joy at how helpless he is.

There's something else there.

Genuine, open desire.

Is that better? Or worse?

"Nova," He says, voice strangled and barely-there, nearly a whimper, "You h-have to stop to, touch-... stop, stop, touching m-me, I can't, I can't do, I I I I-"

"But you were crying," She replies, rubbing her thumb over him between his legs in a way that makes his legs jerk under her weight, his breath catch in his throat. "Because of your fight. I can fix that. You had a bad day, and I'm here. I'll make it better, Chris."

Something filters into Chris's thoughts, cracks through the ice of his fear.

Don't be shy, sweetheart, I've had a hard day and I want something pretty to fix it.

She tucks her chin just a little, head tilted to the side. Her top teeth press, just a little, into her lower lip.

Tell me how much you want it, darlin'. You know that always cheers me right up.

"I want to do this with you," She whispers.

It breaks the spell.

Chris lets go of the sheets, puts his hands up, and shoves.

Nova falls backwards off of his legs, tries to twist and catch herself, loses her balance and goes off the bed, smacking hard on one side into the rug on the floor. She looks up at him, long hair hanging in her face, nearly covering up one eye.

He stares back at the shock, the lack of comprehension. His heart is pounding in his ears, the unwanted awful warmth in the pit of his stomach is still there demanding attention, release he doesn't want. He looks down at himself, face red with shame, and back up to meet her eyes as they fill with tears.

"I'm trying to help," She says, and he has to force himself not to apologize at how hurt she sounds.

"I-I... I, um, I know you are," He manages, with difficulty. Words are getting harder. There's a noise inside of him, more feeling than sound, buzzing against his fingers and toes, pushing against the inside of his skin. It makes the words he needs to say harder to find. "But, but, but, but this-... this, this doesn't, um, this-... doesn't... it, it, it it it doesn't, doesn't, doesn't... help me."

"Yes, it does." Nova sits slowly up. One of her shoulder straps is falling down her arm. "It's what makes us feel better, because we're-"

"Not," Chris interrupts, putting a hand up to stop her before she can finish. He knows what comes next. He knows.

Don't cry, Handler Petrus whispers in the back of his mind. Not my fault you had second thoughts about this, slut. Should've had them before you signed up to get on your back for me.

"I tried-... I tried to, to say no." He pushes himself further back into the corner where the headboard of his bed meets the wall. Pulls his knees up to his chest, hands up over his face. One thumb rubs over the healing scar on his forehead, the other hand runs back and forth over his hair, feeling the softness of it, soothing himself with the motion.

"That's how you do it," Nova says, sounding puzzled. He doesn't look up at her again. "One person says don't do it, stop, please, and the other person does anyway, and then everything is better after."

"Better for-... who?"

He doesn't really need the answer to the question. He knows.

"You," She says, pulling herself to her feet. He sees her as a blur in the corner of his eyes and he doesn't look. He feels himself rocking, forward and back - tries to still himself - then starts rocking again. "And my Miss. Her friends. Everyone feels better, after."

"Not me. Please, please, please go."

"But-"

"Nova." He looks up at her, tears building, and she looks back, wide-eyed and startled by the expression on his face. "Please. Please."

"You really didn't like it?" She tucks her hair back behind her ear. "But... you didn't?"

He shakes his head, slowly, digs his hands into his own stomach, starts to tap, desperate to soothe the disgust slithering around underneath his skin.

"Was I not doing it right?"

"I don't-... I, I, I don't, um. I don't like... being, being t-touched... there." He can barely force out the words, they're spat out like disgust and not the fear he really feels. "I, I-I don't want y-you to, to, to to to to... touch me. At all."

For a second, he thinks she'll hit him.

Her face goes very pale and then suddenly bright red in the cheeks, and she turns away from him, races from his room, slams the door shut behind herself. He hears the sound of her footsteps down the hall, another door slamming - probably the room she shares with Sarita.

His phone, long-ago forgotten on the bed, vibrates with a text. He looks over, but the words swim and don't come together. He can tell the text is from Laken, but he can't read what it says.

He can't read.

Chris slowly slumps sideways, against the wall, lets his head thump there once.

What now?

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