ads-that-want-me-to-fuck-food

[ads-that-want-me-to-fuck-food]

#the real question is which people involved in this decision were aware of what they were doing #cause it’s not No One #but it can’t be Everyone #or someone’s sense of #decency would have prevented it #in their defense #the joke #Eat More Hole Foods #is pretty old #bagels #signing inside a restaurant imploring you to eat more food qualities as advertising

[ads-that-want-me-to-fuck-food]

*puts another lira in my “kinkshaming italy” jar*

i was watching a video about how regional cheeses are made around the world, and was shown a type of mozzarella called zizzona (the z/zz pronounced like the 'zz' in 'pizza', with a 'tz' sound), which, yes, means "mother's breast".

so rest easy tonight knowing they have titty cheese in italy.

#there’s a mommy milkers joke in here somewhere #but I’m too classy to make it #just use your imagination #and use a mario voice when you do so #kinkshaming italy #cheese

[ads-that-want-me-to-fuck-food]

honestly I can let the wordplay slide. but i’m pressing charges over that crab lady.

#she should have more legs #is what I’m saying #crab restaurants #always do this #they can’t help themselves #but I draw the line at bad #character designs #signage is advertising

[ads-that-want-me-to-fuck-food]

ads-that-want-me-to-fantasize-about-candy-instead-of-learning-about-atrocities

#feminem #is a great joke #m&ms #performative feminism

[ads-that-want-me-to-fuck-food]

#mascots are advertising #pistachios

[ads-that-want-me-to-fuck-food]

Lesser Known Cryptid 11/24/20: Bad Byron

#cooking with his ass out??? #‘bad’ Byron indeed! #labeling and taglines count as advertising #this is #firmly within my purview #why are #barbecue sauce #and #hot sauce #companies like this? #bad byron’s butt rub

[ads-that-want-me-to-fuck-food]

official…uh…food fucker post ??

theres a person out there somewhere who specifically requested a slight jiggle on this pizza slices right boob

#as a reminder #this is not a fetish blog #I am making fun of this image #in fact #this image was the reason I started this blog in the first place #what an inexplicable choice for an #orbit gum #commercial #pizza #food pervetry

[ads-that-want-me-to-fuck-food]

this sauce’s girlfriend is approaching you at the bar and telling you that “they like your vibes”

#thank you for the #submission #this blog is a support group #and we’re all welcome to share times when ads have hurt us #hot sauce #is often #eDgY hUmOr #for some reason #shrug #unicorn hunters #tumblr ads

[ads-that-want-me-to-fuck-food]

ads-that-want-me-to-experience-security-trust-confidence-and-unthreatened-feeling

thank you lunchables

#whatever this is #it qualifies as an ad #and it contains the phrase #sexual attraction is central #so I think it fits the blog #okay? #lunchables

[ads-that-want-me-to-fuck-food]

We here at Ads that Want Me to Fuck Food©️ are excited for Thanksgiving, or as we like to call it “PETA loses their goddamn horny minds” season

#peta #is always doing nasty horny shit #psas are advertisements #those last two are basically just #brand activation #for #veganism #body horror tw #thanksgiving #turkeys

[ads-that-want-me-to-fuck-food]

after consulting some academic resources, I have determined that this product fits the blog theme

The Grundle Thumper is a lesser known cryptid

(Sighted by David Caballero)

#as previously argued #labeling is inherently #point of sale #advertising #as are #brand names #urban dictionary #hot sauce #lesser known cryptids

[ads-that-want-me-to-fuck-food]

ads-that-want-me-to-fuck-food-against-the-express-wishes-of-the-food’s-long-dead-creator

I think it’s pretty common knowledge by now. John Harvey Kellog, creator of the Kellogs brand of cereal, strongly believed eating cereal every day would surpress a person’s libido and make them not want to masturbate. However he could not predict one major factor that would undo all his work

#mascots are advertising #and someone along the chain of command #made the choices that lead to #tony the tiger #’s apparent sexual appeal #so this fits the blog theme perfectly #john kellogg #mascots

[ads-that-want-me-to-fuck-food]

they’re only called “breasts” if they come from the champagne region of france. otherwise they’re just “sparkling tatas.”

Today's lesser known cryptid is: Morlant de la Marne

(Sighted by @smallsmallwitch)

#*french voice* #honquers #this is firmly within my purview #france #champagne

[ads-that-want-me-to-fuck-food]

Oh I see so it's not that the person who made it was cultivating the strangest vibe possible for the grimace birthday playlist it's that they put every song ever on it

#this is a brand promotion exercise #so it qualifies #as #advertising #and it’s got what I can only assume is #the pornhub theme song #so here we are #grimace #mcdonalds #spotify playlist

[ads-that-want-me-to-fuck-food]

I did some digging and found the original proposal this restauranteur used to secure a business loan from the bank

I just dont think I want breakfast that bad

#in the age of online ordering #menus count as advertising #so this is #firmly within my purview #I understand getting these for like a bachelorette party #but are people just chomping on dick waffles every day? #waffles #menus

[ads-that-want-me-to-fuck-food]

happy pride :)

shoutout to the gay couple who essentially queued up behind me to also take a pic

#they knew what they were doing #that’s well below the national average price for #eggplants #and it’s not just that it’s #69 #the sex number #it references #the summer of ’69 #plus #signage is advertising #so #this is well within my purview #oh and #happy pride 🌈

[ads-that-want-me-to-fuck-food]

As a writer, I can appreciate the unsubtle wordplay of “cream filled beavers” and the slightly less unsubtle “liquor whaaat?”

As a human being, I am booing loudly and throwing rotten tomatoes

#liquor whaaat?! #chocolates #this is firmly within my preview