borderlinedolly - Tumblr blog

borderlinedolly · 1 day

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Hey, shout out to systems with "frustrating" or "socially bad" traits.

systems who seem indecisive, "hot and cold", disloyal, dishonest, etc. to others due to subtle switches, passive influence, being median, amnesia barriers, etc. between headmates with very different opinions, wants, and moods

systems who have headmates with "scary" attributes/symptoms, like hallucinations, delusions, anger issues, hypersexuality, low/no empathy, selfishness, need for attention, etc. especially those afraid they're perpetuating the "evil alter" stereotype

systems who never know who's fronting. especially those with memory barriers, those who struggle with feeling any sense(s) of personhood, and/or those who struggle to keep close bonds with people due to this

systems who struggle with meltdowns, tantrums, outbursts, pathological demand avoidance, poor sense of social norms, and other tendencies/issues that make being social or just existing in public difficult

systems with fluctuating sexualities and/or triggers that make it difficult to remain with a partner/partners (or to date in the first place)

systems who infight in-system and have trouble making decisions without intense internal backlash

systems who have trouble keeping self care (and may go out of the house dirty/disheveled) due to other mental illness or due to frequent fronters being unmotivated, forgetful, or having sensory issues or triggers that interfere with self care tasks

systems whose "self defense" relies on people pleasing, avoiding stressors, getting overly defensive, or getting angrier than "reasonable"

You are loved, you are appreciated, you deserve to be a part of society, you deserve to be happy, you deserve to be understood and given patience... you deserve to be able to create, love, heal, be respected, be treated like your own age, to lead, to have a voice, to feel safe.

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borderlinedolly · 19 days

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Plural Culture is "I know we just switched. I am absolutely not the person who was just fronting.

But who the fuck am I??"

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borderlinedolly · 20 days

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*screams into a pillow, cries in a ball, groans, stares at wall* fine.

pk;m new

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borderlinedolly · 20 days

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“One of your alters doesn’t like me!”

My dude some of my alters don’t like ME. You ain’t special.

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borderlinedolly · 20 days

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Things I Rarely See Talked About

Level 2/Medium Support Need Autistics

Level 3/High Support Need Autistics

Deaf and/or Blind Autistics

BIPOC Autistics

Nonverbal Autistics

Semiverbal Autistics

The Downsides of Getting a Diagnosis

Older People (30+) With Disorders Like DID, ASPD, BPD, Autism, Etc

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borderlinedolly · 2 months

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misinformation about ramcoa kills. Telling people ''clocking'' is real kills. Telling people that anyone, especially abusers, can tell just by looking at them kills. Even if you're just uneducated, putting that level of misinformation out there isn't only harmful and paranoia-inducing, it kills. That is the type of thing that can, and does, trigger programs. That is the kind of thing that can drive survivors to suicide.

Yeah, me telling people to be safe kills people, okay lol💀

#asks

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borderlinedolly · 4 months

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I'm having a bit of a normal one tonight so

• shoutout to hc-did systems who don't have a fucking clue what all their programs are or how exactly they work or how they're triggered and may constantly be living like they're walking on eggshells.

• shoutout to hc-did systems who have no fucking idea what the full extent of their trauma is and are terrified to figure out more and/or want to learn everything that happened so badly.

• shoutout to hc-did systems who don't know or understand everything about their innerworld. fuck it shoutout to hc-did systems who just Don't Know in general!

• shoutout to hc-did systems who don't have any "real" or "physical" proof of their ramcoa besides their own memories.

• shoutout to hc-did systems whos perpetrators never got a lick of punishment for what they did to you or others.

• shoutout to hc-did systems who actively want or are trying to get their perpetrators punished for what they did.

• shoutout to hc-did systems who can't have their perpetrators punished for what they did.

• shoutout to hc-did systems who might still be in danger. real or perceived.

this ramcoa shit is so confusing and exhausting and horrible and lonely and fucking (re)traumatizing and it's so hard. i'm tired I just want people to believe me sometimes but how much do I believe other people believe me when I share the sheer horrors that rear their ugly heads in our mind. from alters popping up or a memory just appearing out of nowhere to just whole somatic flashbacks. how much can we take? how much DID we take?

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borderlinedolly · 4 months

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If you think I spread misinformation, okay lmao. I'm sharing info that may help people. If you care to listen, welcome to my blog. If you don't, kiss my ass <3

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borderlinedolly · 4 months

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What Is Clocking?

Clocking is an ability many RAMCOA survivors have to varying degrees. They can tell when someome is a RAMCOA victim. Certain survivors (typically high ranking ones) can clock victims down to their rank and possibly branch. Less common are the ones who can clock victims down to their role and sect. Low ranking victims can typically clock those who are superior to them.

Logically, this is a useful ability as sects can have thousands of members and you can't possibly remember all of them. Being able to tell who your superiors are will help keep you alive. Similarly, you can also tell when someone is lower than you/"usable". Programmers can clock people to know who they can exploit.

It is a real ability and dangerous people can and will use it to their advantage. It is not fear mongering, it is the horrifying truth of being a RAMCOA survivor. We are not safe anywhere, pretending we are will not protect us or help us survive. Being aware of the dangers can help you try to keep yourselves as safe as possible.

Here are some ways to protect yourself: keep yourself as grounded as possible while outside and avoid switching to vulnerable alters, don't talk to strangers and stay away from anyone who gives you a weird feeling.

Saying clocking isn't real won't help you if a programmer spots you.

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borderlinedolly · 7 months

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I feel bad for your spouse lol you probably abuse them as your “persecutor alter” and then refuse to take responsibility

Lmao, yes actually, but it's okay, they like it <3

#asks

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borderlinedolly · 8 months

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Questions For Systems

1. What's your system name?

2. What's your collective name?

3. What are your collective pronouns?

4. How old are you bodily?

5. What type of system are you? (E.G. OSDD-1, DID, etc)

6. What's your (approximate) headcount?

7. How did you find out you're a system?

8. How many of you were there upon discovery?

9. Do you have an innerworld? If so, what type? (E.G. small, medium, large, magical, infinite, etc)

10. Do you have a fronting room? If so, what does it look like?

11. Who's the oldest?

12. Who's the youngest?

13. Who's most likely to cause mischief?

14. Who's the system's parental figure?

15. Who's the baby of the system?

16. Who's the one that everyone gets along with?

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borderlinedolly · 8 months

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Introjects & Problematic Source Memories

With Himiko Toga

Introjects

Introjects are alters that were split off to represent outside people, most typically an abuser, and thus creating the appearance of being "introjected" from an outside source. There are two types of introjects. Full introjects are fully convinced they are the person they represent/are based off. They believe they are separate from the body. Partial introjects refer to alters who introjected traits and characteristics from an outside source/person (similar to how a singlet would), but are aware they are not, in fact, the person in question.

Source Memories

Source memories are pseudomemories ("fake" memories) that introjects may form with. They're memories of their source and can revolve around a number of things. Source memories exist to cover up trauma or symbolise it.

"Problematic" Memories

This refers to things such as incest, pedophilia, abuse, rape, etc. This may mean the introject has memories of being in a pedophilic or incestuous relationship or perhaps they have memories of abusing another. This can be due to multiple reasons, but the most common is trauma symbolism.

My Point

Source memories shouldn't be a reason to judge or even harass introjects. We cannot control our memories nor are we responsible for what happened in source. Treating an introject differently for their memories is plain out bullshit. I don't care of you're uncomfortable, just don't interact with us if our memories bother you. It's that simple. We don't owe it to you to have palatable memories, a lot of the time they're bloody trauma representation, they aren't going to be "cutesy" or nice.

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borderlinedolly · 8 months

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concentration camps???? um excuse me?

They're common in RAMCOA survivors /nm

#asks

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borderlinedolly · 9 months

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A Small Reminder For OSDDID Systems

There is no such thing as the "perfect system." Your brain developed this disorder in the best way it saw fit to help you survive. As such, your system structure and the way it functions is specific to you, the trauma you underwent, and the way you reacted to it.

You might have more nonhuman alters than other systems, or you might form introjects easier. You might have hundreds of fragments, or you might have none. You might have 2 alters, you might have 10, or you might have hundreds.

Your system is catered towards your specific needs. While we all share symptoms and aspects in common, our systems are unique to us. What that means differs from person to person. Some might have hundreds of introjects, and some might have none. Both system were needed for their body's survival.

Your system is valid as it is, even if others try to tell you otherwise. What your system "should" be like is exactly how it already is because it's your system, and it was made to help you survive.

#complex dissociative identity disorder #did system #dissociative identity disorder #other specified dissociative disorder #alters #complex did #did community #hc did #highly complex did #highly complex dissociative identity disorder #osdd 1a #osdd 1 #osdd 1b #did osdd #osddid #osdd system #osdd #did alter #actually did

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borderlinedolly · 9 months

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Do you have any recources on HC-DID I could read? Tumblr posts included.

Also, can a HC-DID system have no innerworld?

Here's a google drive made by my friend

A quick disclaimer: Read at your own risk. If you feel dissociated or unsettled in some way, put it down and take a break

And I'm not sure, I wouldn't say it's impossible, but it's highly unlikely since programmers use it for a variety of reasons. It's more likely for the innerworld to be inaccessible, usually to certain alters

#asks

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borderlinedolly · 10 months

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Hi, I don't know if you've been asked this before, and if you have then I apologize for redundancy, but are you okay with endogenics interacting with your blog?

Hello, yes I am. I don't believe in gatekeeping info, so anyone is welcome as long as they're here to learn :)

#asks

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borderlinedolly · 10 months

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System Experience I Rarely See Talked About

Having only 2 alters

Having under 5 alters

Having over 100k alters

Having over 100k fragments

Having hypersexual child parts

Having child parts that are mentally older

Having child parts who can understand adult concepts

Having child parts that are bodily older, but mentally still children

Having no innerworld/headspace

Only having a room in the headspace

Not having a fronting room

Having a fronting room

Having an extremely complex innerworld

Constant heavy dissociation

Severe amnesia that makes you forget what happened an hour ago

Dissociative fugue

Chronic severe PTSD

Somatic symptoms

Rarely switching

Being frontstuck for months at a time

Rarely knowing who you are

Not knowing if you've switched

Internal trauma reenactment

Internal sexual relationships

Innerworlds not being a safe space

Alters who are dicks simply because they want to be

Alters who rape other alters

Internal pregnancy

Alters living in different time periods

Alters stuck reliving trauma

Having a lot of NPCs

Having cities full of NPCs

Having no NPCs

Having NPCs who reenact trauma

Having NPCs living the life you would have had without the trauma

#did system #complex dissociative identity disorder #dissociative identity disorder #alters #did alter #did community #complex did #other specified dissociative disorder #osdd 1a #osdd 1b #osddid #osdd 1 #osdd

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