coffeecritic

[coffeecritic]

If only you had known, i would have given my life to extend yours by a singular breath.

-LS

[coffeecritic]

Accidentally told my therapist, last week, how i love to cook more than i love to eat so... Today's session is gonna be interesting 👀

[coffeecritic]

I just don't understand anything anymore.

[coffeecritic]

WHAT NOBODY TELLS YOU ABOUT FASTING

For gum chewers: Nobody tells you that you will expel a storm of wind out of nowhere or whenever you drink water.

Nobody tells you that your legs will feel like literal jello if you go past 24hrs.

Nobody tells you that after a certain point you’ll have a constant headache.

Nobody tells you that your stomach will growl loud enough for a whole room of people to hear.

Nobody tells you about the pain in your ribs.

Nobody tells you that you’re going to feel like you’re going vomit the lack of anything in your stomach.

But what we do tell you, is that you’ll get used to it.

[coffeecritic]

Please reblog if you have an ED and are 18+. I feel like a creeper following minors

[coffeecritic]

In loving you, I'm losing myself.

[coffeecritic]

I've lost myself. In trying to fix and recreate myself for you - I'm lost.

[coffeecritic]

Good Lord I just want to be skinny.

I just want to feel comfortable again. I'm not going to lie, NOTHING about myself feels comfortable. I just want to feel pretty. I want to feel his eyes undressing me. I want to feel hot not just thic. I hate being called thic by people, but it's what I am.

How do people get the consistency when it comes to their mindset?

[coffeecritic]

How fast can the path of our conscious existence change? In a year? A month, perhaps? Or some miniscule sum like a second or even still, a moment? Well that's certainly a better explanation than I received. All I asked was for an estimate of when you fell out of love with me. A moment, a minute even. You closed your eyes as if to picture the very instant, yet when you're eyes met mine you muttered in uncertainty. You hadn't the fondest clue as to when you last spoke with sincerity. Or when you last felt like I was good enough for you. You hadn't the decency to have made mention of your distaste before, but suddenly it consumed you, and deteriorated me.

Completely torn apart, in an instant.

[coffeecritic]

How does the soul choose it's direction? Was it born to follow a certain path, and when we get off track we find ourselves longing? Or are we conditioned to become what the soul does not desire? Do we have a soul to begin with? Or is our existence souley a relationship of body and mind?

[coffeecritic]

"I might let you in, but you'll never see inside."

-lp

#literature #lit #academia #academic #dark academia #dark acadamia aesthetic

[coffeecritic]

showers

sometimes, i let the water run long after i get out.  I walk into the kitchen, have a cup of tea.  waiting and longing for the water to shut off and for you to come out.  sometimes i wait up to an hour after i get out... i know you like long showers.  it’s one of those simple, stupid things that i do to remind me of you.  one stupid thing, stupid me.

[coffeecritic]

abandonment

he asked me how i was doing, to which i could not reply. / if i had, it would have only severed ties. 

so i sat in disbelief as i realized how i was. / i had not seen it before now, all the paid he caused.  

recognizing my emotions had taken quite a toll. / but as i comprehended them i had not counted all. 

prominent yet hidden, lay my deepest fear. / the thought of you not coming back, never coming back here. 

after all he left me, lying in my bed / without a further ado, his goodbye was said. 

so if i seem aloof or simply unaware / my mind is somewhere drifting never really there, 

because my mind like him has left / loneliness felt within my breast 

my mind and soul are left stranded / like the love that you abandoned.  

[coffeecritic]

fast, fasting, faster

Why is it that every time I start a fast, I just become addicted to the feeling of emptiness?

As I am fasting I simply forget about every hunger pain and every headache. 

Maybe it is because I see it’s working, and I just wish it would work faster.

#anarecca #anamia #annorexyc #want to be thin #i wanna be skiny #i want to be skiny #just ed shit #low cal ed #pr0 ed #starvinb #skinspo #skip dinner get thinner #skinny please #skin #skinnnny #skinny #ana inspo #thin inspo #thinspo #eating disoder thoughts

[coffeecritic]

Why has tumblr become the only safe space that I have right now?  

[coffeecritic]

thin-check

I have never been able to clasp my hand around my wrist before and have any of my fingers touch my thumb.  Now, I can touch both my middle finger and my ring finger.  I am seriously in love.  I can’t wait for him to see me like this. <3

#thinspo #skip dinner get thinner #anarecca #anarex1c #not pr0 ana #ana #skinspo #skinnnnny #skinnnny #i wanna be skiny #skinny couple #thin inspo #anaspo #ana inspo

[coffeecritic]

alone

As I contemplated what my life has so quickly become, I made a fascinating discovery.  When one is alone, in every sense of the word as it apply’s both mentally, emotionally and physically, they quickly learn the difference between being with someone because they are lonely and being with someone because they are in love.  And regrettably speaking:

I am in love.  

Complete and utter, desperate love.  I have learned to be alone.  And I am happy alone.  I dance in the kitchen again.  I laugh at the way the sun wakes me up.  I sing in the shower without feeling bad for waking the neighbors.  Being alone does not scare me anymore.  But the thought of losing you forever - 

...