edward when one of rosalie’s roasts hits too hard:
also im back!!! wooooo!!!!
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Mushroom Ravioli hc
Bella wins a bet against Emmett.
She shoved down 27 plates of mushroom ravioli in 30 seconds.
It was the first time she ate human food after turning into a vampire.
She has trouble heaving it up.
Emmett does a Heimlich maneuver on her.
No ravioli gets out.
Edward starts to freak out.
Esme and Carlisle will be home soon.
After multiple tries, Bella sighs and says "just take my head off and take it out yourself".
Edward has a mental breakdown in the middle of the kitchen as Emmett sticks a vacuum cleaner down her esophagus to remove every ravioli while Jasper holds Bella's head.
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At his side was Esme, I assumed, the only one of the family I’d never seen before. She had the same pale, beautiful features as the rest of them. Something about her heart-shaped face, her billows of soft, caramel-colored hair, reminded me of the ingenues of the silent-movie era.
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actually twilight fans are the ones that roast twilight the most and the non-twilight fans who judge twilight and think twilight fans are taking twilight seriously and praising the plot 24/7 are so funny oh god wish they knew what a circus the whole fandom is
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Edward makes POV tiktoks under the name Lil Eddy
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I wish we got to hear Leah’s opinion on the name Renesmee. Because I just KNOW she had one
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edward sucking the venom out of bella, unsure whether he’ll be able to stop. the montage of bella’s life in forks interspersed with the fire in the ballet studio and finally scenes of the hospital while robert pattinson’s let me sign plays
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edward’s face when he’s sulking is hilarious🤣
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