discovering-alyx

[discovering-alyx]

It's like this all the time

There are two pools of water. One is called "Thinking", and the other is called "Doing".

The Thinking pool is full of wriggling, live fish. And if you want to do anything, you have to carry that live fish over and release it into the Doing pool.

All you have is your cupped hands to carry that fish - a fish that does not want to be scooped up. A fish that resists, wriggles, and jumps while you try to carry it live and whole to the other pool. Every task you want to complete, every idea for inspiration, every action is one of those fish.

If you don't catch the fish, it doesn't get done.

If you drop the fish, it doesn't get done.

If you accidentally smother the fish, it doesn't get done. And then you feel terrible.

Some days, the pools are near each other. Some days, the fish aren't as hard to catch. But some days, the pools are so far apart and the fish are fighting so much and it takes everything you have. But you do it, because you have to. It takes all your concentration to hold, carry, and anticipate the movement of that fish, and after you release that fish you're so tired.

They only count how many fish are in your Doing pool at the end of the day. "You caught enough fish! You don't need help! You're doing fine!", and you cry but they don't understand why.

Everyone else has buckets and nets. They don't understand why you think it's so hard.

[discovering-alyx]

[discovering-alyx]

Ngl “don’t assume someone is queer based on their appearance” is a very frustrating and norm core stance when you’re someone like me who prefers to dress like a faggot for the express purpose of signaling to other faggots that I am a faggot.

[discovering-alyx]

Friendly reminder to my LGBTQ+ friends: you don't have to perfectly fit the definition of a label to use it. For example: a woman who likes other women, but also sometimes likes men can still call herself a lesbian if she wants to, even if she would "technically" be bisexual. Someone who's asexual and demironantic can still call themself aroace if they want to. Someone who's gender floats between male and demiboy could call themself gender fluid, or male, or non-binary if they want to. You can still call yourself pan if you have a preference.

Labels should be what works for you, not a box you need to perfectly fit in

[discovering-alyx]

I dont know who needs to hear it, but there isnt a wrong way to be trans. You're allowed to transition medically if you want, you're allowed to not transition at all if you cant or dont want to. You can swap between genders, blur the lines, flat out disregard all gender, whatever you say goes. Being trans is about what makes you comfortable with how you identify and how you desire to present. No one can take that away from you.

[discovering-alyx]

I think that there are people who look at dog litters and see themselves in the “normal,” healthy, vigorous pups, and then there are those of us who see ourselves in the runts.

I needed extra help to survive and that’s okay. I’ve paid it back a thousand times over. And it would have been okay even if I hadn’t, even if I’d had nothing to contribute to society, because every single human life is worthwhile and valuable simply because it exists.

[discovering-alyx]

[discovering-alyx]

it would be cool if knowing a behavior or thought pattern was irrational made you stop doing it

[discovering-alyx]

#change #humanity #storytelling

[discovering-alyx]

#USA #I hate it here

[discovering-alyx]

#liberation #mental health #queer #trans #mental illness #community

[discovering-alyx]

politics is about doing things and what your actions lead to and not about the things you think are good or bad. & this distinction is one that i think causes a lot of very fundamental misunderstandings when people can't wrap their heads around it but is also like a straightforwardly sensible useful and productive way to think about politics so it is well worth holding to

[discovering-alyx]

[discovering-alyx]

There’s power in telling yourself ”no we don’t do that anymore” in response to self destructive urges.

[discovering-alyx]

I gotta ask, how do people, like, do stuff???

[discovering-alyx]

Be an Onion, not Corn

This is stellar advice from a friend. I've fractured myself into so many pieces trying to survive in the world, and it's hell trying to piece myself all back together. But I'm trying my damndest. The issue is, not everywhere in the world is safe to be my 100% authentic self. So how do I protect myself without continuing to fracture myself?

Be an Onion, not Corn.

Corn is a bunch of tiny fragments of personality. You give a kernel to each person, and it's not whole. This is what I want to avoid.

An onion is a whole thing, but not everyone gets to see the whole onion. There's a protective outer layer. And you can choose to peel back layers and let people know more of you. But even if you don't peel back those layers, you're still one whole onion.

Anyways, that helped me so maybe it will help someone else, too.

#adhd #bipolar #depression #anxiety #mental illness #mental health #healing #deconstructing christianity

[discovering-alyx]

You don't even have to understand it even. --Mae Martin on gender

#gender #trans #queer #lgbtq #mae martin