elizabethplaid

[elizabethplaid]

eagle: so what do you think about stigmata

prometheus: you know we're in a pre-christian myth, right? like that word doesn't exist yet. your dumb joke is anachronistic.

eagle: stigma talons in your flesh

#long post #wordplay #puns #Greek mythology #mythology #prehearted #mmm yes thank you #queued post is queued

[elizabethplaid]

Crisis averted; cried it out - May 4, 2024

Brain skipped a beat today, and I forgot to turn off the alarm before unlocking the library. Alarm was very loud. Put the code in, but it made me enter it a second time, after pausing to yell at me again.

Heard the phone in the main office ringing; realized I needed to call the alarm company and wave off law enforcement. Called, out of breath and flustered. Answered their questions, got it taken care of. If I wasn't so rattled, I would have joked about them asking for my credit card number next.

Had a little breakdown after getting off the phone. Pep talk, tears, shaking out my hands. My dad came to check on me, since he was nearby. LL-J came in right after I finished crying.

All good now.

#daily notes #picture of me

[elizabethplaid]

To a friend I never met

I know this might seem like a place of death And maybe it’s true Shelves lined with remnants of a time Not just forgotten, but before memory There is sadness here too Every fossil is a miracle and a tragedy in one But how can this place hold only sadness when you are here with me?

Your form is scattered Tumbled by the tides of the earth I will find its parts

Your hands are bare Stripped of strength and power I will hold them gently

Your bones are brittle Broken by unthinkable age I will make them whole

Your story is hidden Stifled by rock and clay I will make it seen

I could not be there To love you in your time I will love you in mine

#poetry #the haiku bot #long post #queued post is queued

[elizabethplaid]

Just in case anyone is wondering my source for this cursed knowledge, it's the video essay "Why are there tiny bows on all our underwear?!" by jessicaoutofthecloset (Jessica Kellgren-Fozard).

Skip ahead to 10:50 or view the "shorts" version, in case you don't want to watch the full video.

(Please ignore my typo. The burden of this knowledge affected my typing skills. :P)

Some framed undergarment?

#fashion #underwear #jock strap #shiftythrifting #reblogging solely to make a joke #thrift store #queued post is queued

[elizabethplaid]

I do this. This is Final Pam. You remember how your backyard barbecue go, the Smiths. Pretty good it doesn’t seem. Haha, I tell little joke.

NEXT TIME YOU INVITE PAM!

#video #monster factory #mcelroy brothers #fallout #final pam #this is the only reason why i have any interest in Fallout

[elizabethplaid]

"The Ivaldan Bride" by Juniper Leigh (on the Readict app)

Saw this and was like, "Heck yeah!" I'm only a couple chapters in, and it's a treat to read. So many of the stories on that app have terrible editing and formatting errors, not to mention badly phrased sentences and weird flow interruptions. This story is so good, and we're not even to the smut. I think we might have met the ML, but I'm not sure. Kinda just hinting at a chance encounter.

Anyway, I'm mentioning it on tumblr because I know @adihildilid enjoys "Jane Eyre", too. Idk if any of the stories on the app can be found elsewhere. Having to watch ads between chapters sucks, but it's free otherwise.

#reading #web novels #jane eyre #juniper leigh #readict #i'm on an alien kick lately #can't deal with the abo non-werewolf series #and most other titles i try just suck #romance novels #queued post is queued

[elizabethplaid]

daily notes, for may 3-4, 2024

Sleeping during the day on Friday went better than the day before. I still woke up a few times, but I did well to go back to sleep in a reasonable amount of time. Woke after 5:30pm and felt fine.

Texted my dad from bed, to ask about dinner plans. We had frozen pizza, and I finished it in time for my weekly phone call. But then Nature "called" instead. Ugh, quite the delay; shitty timing.

Phone-friend was fine with it, though. Wonderful chat, sharing links and images. We've been chatting about meeting up again. It's been determined that I am to try boba tea for the first time.

After the call, I checked my phone, and I realized I got a text from our mutual friend. She streams video games and Lego builds. Like, I saw the demon horns on her headset and I kinda fell in love.

She'll be streaming tonight (Sat, May 4), building a huge Lego set of the H*gwarts castle. The stream starts just as I'm closing up the library, but I'll try to watch while eating dinner.

It's nearly 4am, and I probably should've tried sleeping, since I have library duty today. But... I got up late and I felt wound-up (in a good way) after my call, so... can it be excused?

I really enjoyed the quiet time tonight, just reading webcomics. Being awake in the middle of the night feels like such a blessing, even as I'm doing better with mental health. It's quiet and calm during this time. I turn off the lamps, turn down my screen's brightness. The only sounds are in my headphones, close to my ear but still soft.

Between gut stuff and lively conversations, my senses are heightened. Not feeling anxious and on-edge, but it's enough that I really need this calm and quiet to wind down. Might still bring my teddy bear with me, because I need bear hugs. Again, not feeling as bad as I did a couple weeks ago. Analogy: It's better to have a small wound treated quickly, before it turns into a bigger wound.

Am I going to sleep before going to the library? Probably not, if I'm honest. I'll sit with some ASMR and close my eyes.

Hey, the neighbor's donkey is awake, too. See, I'm not the only one awake at this hour!

#daily notes

[elizabethplaid]

And these are their stories…

#ChristopherMeloni at his #birthdaybash in a New York bowling alley.  #really.

#jimcoxphotography #andthesearetheirstories #lawandordersvu

#christopher meloni #these are their stories #make me write bad checks #jim cox photography #jim cox #he's wearing waders because he's gonna be drowning in... yeah

[elizabethplaid]

I really love dropping in on posts and leaving nearly-non-sequitur comments in the replies.

That said, I would be making more shitposts on my phone if I could get my images working on here. I think I have to futz with permissions again

[elizabethplaid]

ITS A BIG DAY !!!!

#reblogging my own post #update #music #destiel meme #everyone knows that #lostwave #i'm so glad we got to hear from the writer

[elizabethplaid]

"where the forest meets the field" by Tim Lewis (on ig)

I'm so in love with this for a variety of reasons. Best reason? Tim Lewis also made my fav kinetic sculpture, titled "Pony".

Big thanks to Andrea (dollsahoy) for sending me the link to this post. <3

a kinetic sculpture by Tim Lewis

I know it’s not pottery but it is sculptural and holy shit

it’s beautiful and disturbing and I feel like I could stumble across this creature in a forest and never be seen again???

#video #watch with sound #kinetic sculpture #sculpture #guitar #unusual instruments #deer #deer toys #tim lewis #not tagging Andrea as to not bother her #long post

[elizabethplaid]

daily notes - may 1, 2024

New microwave sounds less powerful than the previous. It doesn't cook as thoroughly, either. Dad cited some wattage number, intending to mean it's at least on-par with our last one. Uh, don't think so. I already added time to my thing, and it was still cold in the middle.

It's not like anything will be done about this. If anything gets changed, it might be some sticker applied to the display; it's too damn bright. And even that probably won't happen.

A webcomic I've been reading got me thinking sad stuff. The characters were at a columbarium, a place to store and display urns with cremains. (They're common in Korean media, instead of graveyards.) One said to the other, regarding why people visit the dead, "They are saying the things that they couldn't say to them while they were still alive."

I got to thinking, "Why do we not say these things while the person is alive, in our presence?" In my mom's case, she wouldn't listen. For many people, it's to avoid fights - keep the peace, however momentary. When they're "gone", they can no longer attack us, hurt us, with new pain. And, partly due to the comic, I thought of my old bully.

So many of the scenarios I imagined were just me speaking my peace. (Or is it "piece"? I can never remember, those darn homophones.) [edit: It's "piece", according to this page, versus "to hold your peace".] When I felt "ready" to hear his side of things, I became conscious of a gap in my heart. It's the realization that I would never get that closure without re-exposing myself to risk, eg speaking with him again.

To contrast, my imagined scenarios with my mom give enough suspension of disbelief to think that she could change. I imagine her actually listening and understanding, because she is free of the psychological burdens that held her back in life.

I can't remember exactly where I was going with this. But when I thought of it earlier, I felt tears beneath the surface, as I thought about talking to my bully. I became my current-self partly because I've been in pain -a variety of pain- for many years. I was in pain before we fought, but he certainly didn't help the situation.

And that's what I keep reminding myself: a lot of my mental state is because I'm in emotional pain and cannot cope with it like a neurotypical person. The depression was the easiest to recognize, then the anxiety, after I developed physical versions of the anxiety attacks. ADHD got tested because it was trendy at the time, but it also happened to apply.

Years later, autism-spectrum was suggested, and it made everything else sorta fall into place. And even before depression showed up for other reasons, I went through traumatic events in my youth. So there's always been -something- going on, especially when I wasn't aware of it.

It takes a lot of effort and pep talk to forgive myself for feeling/being "broken". I negotiate things with myself, trying to strategize what I can accomplish versus what is too much stress.

A recent example is that drawstring pouch I wanted to make for a friend's birthday. I don't to stress myself out with a deadline, knowing I haven't started stitching yet. (Prepped fabric a bit, but not on the frame yet.) So I will send something I've already made and a small store-bought trinket or card. I think they'll still be accepted, as it's the thought that counts. =========

Idk where I'm going with this. I just feel a little heavy, emotionally, tonight. That line of thinking brought me down, and I don't have the words to express everything. I also lack the attention-span to pin it down, to -want- to pin it down.

#daily notes

[elizabethplaid]

Feeling overwhelmed? Depressed? Is the world too bright? Try this one little trick!

#cats #relatable posts #cat video #cats in bed

[elizabethplaid]

Woke at a decent hour, then rolled over and fell back asleep. Woke again a couple hours later; took my time getting out of bed. 2 hours later, I'm ready for bed again.

It's definitely the cool weather, combined with leaving my window open again. Just feels so cozy and lazy.

It's Wednesday, and nothing of consequence happens today. And my bed sings a siren's song.

#daily notes

[elizabethplaid]

The Kombucha mushroom people, sitting around all day -- April 30, 2024

Slept with the window open last night. The weather is glorious, so I wanted to stay in bed. Still a bit too bright for my tastes, but it's good for napping.

I've got a couple unhappy zits and am still tired, but I've made the effort to be here. As a reward, I'm wearing my System of a Down t-shirt from high school. (God, would it be "vintage" now? It -is- 20+ years old.) It's the design with the elephant and mushroom critters. Pic below the cut

Second image from this ebay listing

#picture of me #daily notes #nostalgia #music #system of a down

[elizabethplaid]

Shit just hits different when you sleep with the window open.

That said, I want to go back to bed.

#daily notes #i'll be a good girl and go to the library #but i'm gonna bitch about it the whole time

[elizabethplaid]

I hadn't heard of this mystery, but it's a fun song. If you've got 7-and-a-half minutes, this video explains things briefly. Spoiler: The source was an adult film.

Edit, May 2, 2024: Interview with one of the song writers!

ITS A BIG DAY !!!!

#music #destiel meme #everyone knows that #lostwave