goldlock1

[goldlock1]

No one likes to talk about it. Shame is a very visceral word, even. Even hearing someone talk about their own shame can put us to shame. That's how contagious it is...the less we talk about shame, the more we have it and the more control it has over our lives. Shame hates having words wrapped around it. It hates being spoken.

Brene Brown

#brene brown #shame

[goldlock1]

[goldlock1]

You have always been welcome at my table. We foraged for carrots, sweet peas, chives and mint from my mother's garden. My brother makes soup. We sit at the boulder in the front yard and make it our home. My dad built a tree house in the backyard and it became the fortress protecting us from the enemy. I pull the rations from our pulley bucket, and we eat apples on the ramparts. We bury the dead finch and offer it dandelions and drink lemonade We tunnel as the snow melts I fish in the springtime lakes on the edge of my playground estate. You have always been welcome at my table.

Girlhood in springtime

#spring #poem #girlhood

[goldlock1]

Because I am a female director, but more because I am a woman, I have always been concerned with the representation of a female self in my works, life, and profession.

Zhang Nuanxin

#film #feminism in film #feminist film theory #film theory #chinese film #woman demon human

[goldlock1]

inigo montoya was right. our enemy is the six fingered man

Once the bugs get ironed out, AI Image Generation will forever change propaganda and how easy it is to make and distribute.

#propaganda #the princess bride

[goldlock1]

told my bf that the secret ingredient in roman concrete was vanilla extract and he believed me so who's really winning here

#vanilla extract #roman concrete

[goldlock1]

~ideological state apparatus theory~ & la la land

I love this theory so I just want to talk about it! Basically, it's the idea that film is a vehicle for the dissemination of an ideology that reinforces the control of the dominant class. Mainstream cinema would have us believe that it is doing its best to represent real life, and Bazin would say that this is cinema's most important aim. Colin MacCabe, however, thinks that cinema is not equipped to represent reality because reality is something that just...isn't representable. He's fighting against this idea we tend to have of films being real and raw and emotional -- and I would tend to agree with him. i think that there is something that a lot of films are missing when it comes to emotional integrity. there's something about a lot of them that i just don't buy.

at the same time, i also think that films affect us emotionally because we have accepted our position as the subjects of the film. We relate to the characters and their experiences. we fall into the trap of being affected and inspired.

Perhaps one of the most powerful methods of inspiration is music -- or, for our context, the movie musical. And since we're talking about reality here, I'm going to talk about the 2016 film La La Land. I think it's a film that represents reality in a very convincing way, through the emotional appeals of its songs and dances and harkening to a more nostalgic era of art. But I also believe that it is trying to convince us of a capitalist falsehood: that belief and hard work in your dream will one day be enough for you to actually achieve it.

This scene, like many others in the film, is one long, deep take (an important element of Bazinian realism), in which we are actually experiencing time at the characters do -- pay attention to how the camera moves, and who the camera is focused on. Listen to the lyrics of the song.

Without looking at it too closely, this just looks like the opening number to a feel-good musical (which on some level, it really is, and it's ok to take pleasure in it). But let's look a little deeper. I believe this clip employs some method of subversive realism, in the sense that we're not following the story of any one character for too long: it's what MacCabe refers to as "a systematic refusal of any such dominant discourse", like in Van Sant's Elephant. We're seeing a very mobile camera, and even the cars are blessedly normal (Pontiac Aztek amirite). So in this sense La La Land is shaping up to be a bit of a subversive realist film. The rest of the movie also contains elements of it -- we see people dancing in the air among the stars, we see alternate realities, we see reflexivity in a scene where all but one of the actors are frozen in a tableau.

Personally, however, I think that these elements produce the opposite effect of subversive realism. Within the context of this particular film, they actually draw us deeper into the narrative, and this opening number "hooks the eye, the heart, and the mind. And once it snags you, it keeps getting better" (Variety.com).

This opening scene is so compelling because of its ensemble nature, where there seems to be no dominant discourse. But that's where it gets you! Because while we're introduced to different characters, distracted by the bright colors, we simply accept, and even delight in, the fact that they're all singing the same song: therefore, perpetuating a unified discourse or IDEOLOGY. This is where it gets fascinating. We're in horrible Los Angeles traffic. It's hot. It's boring. Yet everyone breaks into song and dance, glorifying life in traffic under the hot California sun, the endless dance of sacrificing everything to chase a dream that probably won't come true. One could even say it's glorifying the American dream, this idea that if you just work hard enough, if you want something enough, you will succeed.

In this manner, we are swept into a romantic notion of hard work, one that keeps us working and working and running this Pontiac Aztek of a country steered by the bourgeois class. This is the ideological capitalist falsehood of La La Land. The main characters achieve their ultimate goals -- albeit with the sacrifice of the life that could have been -- but we don't ever see those hundreds of dancers again, people that didn't achieve those goals. We don't get to see the reality of sky-high rent and working three jobs to make ends meet while you're waiting for the big break that never comes.

This is not a love letter to the life of the struggling artist, it is a romanticism of that life. Our main character, an aspiring actress, only has to work her one job at the coffee shop to afford her gorgeously decorated 791-square-foot apartment, and eventually shows up to the one-in-a-million audition for a role she's already been cast in. it's the dream of every person dancing on their car in gridlock. It's the reality for almost no one.

But damn if that scene isn't inspiring. And it's made more so by the fact that our main character does make it. The trap of inspiration can be a comfortable one. I know it is for me -- I'm someone who's deeply affected by ideological state apparatuses like film and theater and music, and there isn't any shame in that. Because even though they are perpetuating ideologies I may not subscribe to, i find there is some grain of truth to them.

they are art, after all.

#la la land #film theory #ideological state apparatus #apparatus theory #bazin #colin maccabe #film #film analysis #subversive realism #bourgeois #pontiac aztek #Youtube

[goldlock1]

DM: “I want you to know I meant ‘get fucked’ in the kindest way possible”

#Dungeons and Dragons #the friends of kyle #dnd #d&d

[goldlock1]

[goldlock1]

Why Tumblr? Why do you, an actual celebrity, a famous writer, use Tumblr of all websites?

(The actual celebrity and famous writer sits back in his rocking chair, surveys the world of Tumblr, from his porch. He chews meditatively on a straw, and then he says:)

TACAFW: Y'see, I've been here for nigh on twelve years now, which in new-fangled internet years is about four hundred years... yup, I remember when all this wuz just folks trading photos of cats, and I remember when over there, where it's now just waste land, that whole part of town was whut we used to call 'Not safe for work" -- hooey, I don't know where those folks went, when they got driv out of town -- but me, through those twelve years, I've just been in this old rockin' chair on this old porch, and I've seen 'em come and I've seen 'em go... I guess I mus' just' like it here...

[goldlock1]

look mom i’m famous (featured on the university website)!!

view the documentary here!

#the west church #jordan #documentary #archaeology #visit jordan #umm el-jimal #documentary film #university #academia

[goldlock1]

ancient lore,

aka things I wrote in middle school, unedited and now available with Extra Cringe via sharing them on the internet

------

Justin raced down the hall, stampeding past the framed photos and artwork on the neutral-colored wall. He skidded to a halt in front of a plain white door and opened it without hesitation.

The moment the door slammed shut behind him, Justin sank against it and breathed a sigh of relief. The Secretaries -- evil old ladies with sharply slanted glasses who hated children -- couldn't get inside the Century Room. Not if it was locked.

Justin opened his eyes. A copper light shone from the desk in the corner. A new message had arrived and with it, hopefully, a new mission.

But it was not a message at all, at least nothing like the ones Justin usually got. It was a notebook -- or, at least, looked like one. Justin had learned that in the Room, things often weren't what they seemed at first. He picked it up and opened it.

His initial glance found nothing of interest. It was likely a diary, probably a girl's from the hot pink cover. But when Justin looked back at the words, he saw several familiar words -- Century, Secretary, and -- wait.

"Justin Time"

Why was his name on the inside cover? Justin was confused until he remembered what Kay had said the last time they'd seen each other. "I'll send you your Record when I've got time."

Was this his Record? He couldn't be sure. Kingdom Keys -- or Kay for short -- was a practical joker on top of being the Matron's official Record Mistress. She could have sent him something totally bogus.

Justin looked at the open notebook again. It was, as Justin figured after reading a bit, an account of his adventures in the Room, and most definitely not fake.

Justin read on, and was soon lost in the memories of his discovery of the Room.

---------

Kay paused in her furious writing. The pages and pages of paper in front of her were covered with her hastily scrawled notes and reminders. The Secretaries believed in the power of paper and pen.

So did Kay.

But Kay's hand was cramping, and there were ink splatters all over the desk from a leaking pen. She could just imagine Mistress Denizen's scolding: Kingdom Keys, what is this mess? No wonder your work is so slow! You want to be a Recorder? Start acting like one!

To be perfectly honest, Kay wasn't really a Secretary. In fact, she disliked Secretaries in general. The only reason she was allowed to be here, training in the Reminders department, was because she was not totally human either. Her mother had been a Secretary, her father a human.

How a human had fallen for a Secretary (or the other way around), Kay didn't know. She did know, however, that she needed to get to work. Mistress Denizen would be making her rounds soon.

----------

"Kay, will you get the door?" yelled Aunt Lupin from the steaming kitchen. Kay sighed and put down her book.

The house was in chaos, just like it was whenever they had a family reunion. Toddler cousins, which seemed to multiply every time they tore through the hallway, were shrieking with delight while their parents chatted and ate cubes of cheese on sticks. Kay finally waded through the mass of people and arrived at the door. Putting on her brightest fake smile, she opened the door.

"Kay! How lovely to see you again, simply lovely! My, how you've grown!"

Kay's smile became more of a grimace as her older cousin Magic gave her a huge, dramatic hug and kisses on both cheeks.

As Magic moved on to other victims, Kay made her way outside. Aunt Lupin's garden was huge, and a perfect haven for Kay to escape to with her book and a chocolate bar she'd stolen from the kitchen.

------------

I think this was vaguely inspired by Alcatraz Versus the Evil Librarians series by Brandon Sanderson? I think also The Keys to the Kingdom by Garth Nix was in there somewhere (i don't remember anything about that series except that the ending is EXTREMELY disappointing). Apparently I was very creative with names once upon a time.

#my writing #creative writing #old writing #yikes #i apologize in advance #middle school me was............fascinating #but her writing wasn't that terrible #thick thoughts #neil gaiman please don't judge me

[goldlock1]

VERY IMPORTANT good omens question that im sure you will break your no spoilers policy for, does anyone, including background characters, wear a jaunty little hat

Oh God you wormed it out of me. Yes. Yes. A jaunty little hat will be worn.

[goldlock1]

if it’s good enough for neil gaiman it’s good enough for me

[goldlock1]

All my New Yorker covers are available online as prints, cards, posters etc at: http://condenaststore.com/art/tom+gauld This month you can use the code GAULD15 at checkout to get a 15% discount.

[goldlock1]

horrible coffee shop orders to make your local barista hate you

water latte

caramel drizzle on a drink that does not come with caramel drizzle

half-caf anything (why?????)

triple shot latte, no espresso

iced cappuccino

a pastry, but steeped in a cup of hot water like a tea bag

matcha latte + extra shot + mocha sauce

17 shot americano

17 shot americano but with 7 decaf shots

#please tip like 100% if you do this #coffee #coffee hacks #barista #as a barista i can confirm that any of these would make me want to kill myself

[goldlock1]

ADHD

2016

Zhou Wendou

#yikes #just tag me next time