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hx4x4enthusiast · 7 days

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your papa prime head cannons are spot on! Though I wonder what papa prime would do if and when he realizes that his autobots/kids are like his sparklings (btw I love your writing style!)

Aww, thank you for the kind words. I love this so here a short story about how I think he would discover that he is running sire protocol aka

Optimus realizes he is now a dad.

Optimus fluff

Words: 817

It was a quiet day in the base, the entire week was for the bots relatively peaceful the cons didn’t try to destroy the earth yet again and the kids were out using the holidays to go visit family. Miko was in Tokyo visiting her parents and catching up with friends, Raf and his family went to Mexico for his cousins Quinceañera and to catch up and even Jack and his mom went on a trip to Canada to visit Junes Sister.

The bots used the rare tranquillity, in different ways, Arcee went out more training her parkour skills, Bumblebee visit the Griffin Rock stationed Rescue Team. Meanwhile Bulkhead joined Wheeljack on a “space adventure” and even Ratchet allowed himself to rest more and work on some project of his. Truly a perfect time to relax before the storm comes again and the efforts to end the war start anew.

And yet Optimus could not sit still, since the beginning of the week his frame has been acting up. It started with the itching of his plating as if nanoticks are biting into his mesh, then his fans and vents acted up leaving him sometimes unable to move from the cold or borderline delirious from the heat. When parts of his frame started to move, like his right leg transforming, making him stumble into his work desk he had enough.

“Old friend, could I ask for your expertise?”

“Oh? What a rare occasion to find you willingly come into the medbay. To what do I owe this pleasure of your visit Optimus?”

“My frame has been acting up in various ways and I can not fathom on what may have caused this.”

“Well then let’s get you checked out come on take a seat.”

Optimus did as instruct while Ratchet readied the scans to run a complete diagnostic on his frame. With the last scan complete a frown made its way onto Ratchets face plate.

“Well Optimus physically there is nothing wrong with your frame, everything is in working order, energy levels are good. But what concerns me is your spark activity, normally it is in a very calm even lower compared to the others due to the influence of the matrix, but your current scan shows a hyperactivity, like you’re in a high stress situation.”

“Curios, I have never felt like this before.”

“Hmn, well let me run a protocol diagnostic scan maybe one of your battle protocols activated or is damaged. Lay down, go into power-down and I’ll see what I can find.”

“Very well, Ratchet.”

Laughter is what rose the Prime out of his power down, as his optics finally onlined he was met with the sight of Wheeljack laughing, Arcee getting a packet of rust sticks from both Bumblebee and Bulkhead and Ratchet standing on the side shaking his head in disapproval, before realizing Optimus woke up.

“Well Optimus, I have found the cause of your well, functioning problems, so I ran the protocol diagnostic scan and in good news all of your battle protocols are in perfect working order, matter of fact all of your protocols are working fine.”

“Then what would cause my flare-ups, old friend?”

“Well like I said all of your protocols are running fine and well-“

“Ha, your running sire protocol Prime, oh I never thought I see the day. Oh this is too good.”

“WHEELJACK!”

A very angry shout followed by the sound of a wretch making contact with a piece of metal, the piece of medal being Wheeljacks helm. Letting out a puff of air through his vents, Ratchet turned back around to face Optimus.

“What he said is true though, your sire protocols are running and that on overdrive.”

That day, at that time, something happened which has never happened before and will probably never happen again. Optimus was lost for words.

“But this doesn’t seem plausible I am not with a sparking neither have…I…adopted…one…”

A look of realisation crossed over the Primes features.

“The children.”

“Yes, Optimus your spark has formed a spark bond with each of the children and seeing the effect it has of you they, though most unknowingly, accepted it and with that you as their sire.”

“When are the children coming back?”

“Soon Optimus, Raf is as far as I know already on his way back, they will arrive tomorrow.”

“And Miko told me she takes the plane from Tokyo tomorrow.” Bulkhead added.

“Jack and his mom should arrive either today late in the night or tomorrow morning to noon.” Arcee mentioned offhandedly.

“Well I believe it is in the best od interest to wait until all of them arrive and see how we will proceed from there. I will excuse myself then I will see you tomorrow.”

With that Optimus exited the medbay not seeing the knowing smirk on his medics faceplate.

#transformers #transformers prime #maccadams #tfp #fluff #optimus prime #macaddam #papa prime #bulkhead #tfp ratchet #miko nakadai #raf esquivel #jack darby #tfp arcee #bumblebee #Wheeljack #arcee

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hx4x4enthusiast · 2 months

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Papa Prime Headcanons 2

After a tough mission or when Bumblebee gets backlashes from particular disturbing events of the war, Optimus will tell him old stories. And he extend his ERM field to further comfort Bee and only leaves once Bee is in full power down. That is also one of the few moments that Optimus fully relaxes and let's his emotions out.

Whenever Arcee starts to pull back from everyone and her past regrets come back Optimus spaars with her or just silently drives next to her on patrol. He just let's her vent without giving advice if she doesn't ask for it.

After Smokescreens arrival he and Optimus had a long talk about Alpha Trion and Cybertron in its war days. At the end Smokescreen broke down and Optimus hugged him and wrapped him up in his ERM field until he calmed down again.

Knockout and Optimus once got trapped in a mine collaps due to stray blaster fire. Instead of facing of against each other, Optimus witnessed Knockout curled to a ball in a corner hyperventilating. He slowly got closer and gently extended his ERM field to calm Knockout down. He talked to him in hushed tones until they where freed. Knockout never forgot that day and after he joined the autobots he thanked Optimus, who just regarded him with the same gentle smile he held all those years ago on that same day.

Optimus has in his cabin a photo of the entire team that miko took, raf edited and jack printed out to robot size. It is his most treasured possession and his good luck charm. So whenever he feels unsure or doubt he touches his chassis to remind himself who he is fighting for. The team doesn't know that and think he touches his chassis because the matrix lies there.

June once witnessed Optimus reprimanding the children for putting themselves in danger yet again. As she leaned back she commented more to herself. "He is such a dad." To which Ratchet answered. "Oh you have no idea". The entire team except for the children and Optimus himself realized that, Optimus sees the children as his own sparklings. And noone is gonna mentioned it. Mostly because there is an ongoing betting pool for when Optimus is going to realize that his sire protocols are running.

~Hi apparently you all liked the first part I made of this so here is another one. Do let me know if you want more of this, Scenarios, Headcanons with the kids, the bots both just TFP or other contuienies.~

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hx4x4enthusiast · 2 months

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Papa Prime Headcanons

Jack once nearly fell of Arcee after a ko burger shifts and a long school day, since then Optimus picks Jack up. Optimus doesn't show it but it makes him happy that he gets to spend time with Jack. So when he picks him up, Jack often falls asleep. Optimus knows that and purposefully drives a longer way to the base.

Once Miko fell sick and Bulkhead was on a space mission with Wheeljack. Miko didn't want to rest so Optimus offered to carry her around, which she accepted. He didn't put her down even after she fell asleep and did all of his work with one servo.

When it gets to loud in the base or Miko gets to wild, Optimus let's Raf study and read in his personal hab suite.

Jack sees Optimus as his father figure and unintentionally calles him dad whenever he falls asleep in Optimuses cab.

Miko came up with the nickname Papa Prime which ended with her once accidentally calling Optimus "Papa" instead of "Prime".

Raf made a father's day present together with Bumblebee and gifted it to Optimus. It was a photo album of the autobots and humans with a handwritten letter.

#transformers #transformers prime #tfp #macaddam #maccadams #fluff #optimus prime #jack darby #miko nakadai #raf esquivel #papa prime

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hx4x4enthusiast · 6 months

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Fuck around & Find out

Words: 909

Knockout x gender-neutral reader

Warning: this is suggestive and has Dom/sub themes, read with discretion

Every creature is capable of change, that’s what Optimus always preaches and honestly yeah, I agree everyone deserves a second chance. But why for Gods, or Primus, or whoevers sake put a certain hella annoying ex-con, with a with a custom paint job into my life. Don’t get me wrong I am happy that he decided to join the Autobots, but I just want to know why he decided to annoy, out of everyone, specifically me.

“Oh, my dear little cherry, what crawled up your exhaust pipe and died, hmmm?” A suave voice sounded through the otherwise empty storage room, as the owner of the voice struts through the room like he owns the whole base.

By Primus how I hate that nickname. Ever Since Optimus decided that Knockout should learn more about humanity and take over certain responsibilities, he was assigned as my guardian and has taken to calling me “little cherry”. Which then infected nearly everyone else and now everyone except Optimus, Ultra Magnus and Ratchet refer to me by my nickname.

Taking a deep breath, I turn around to face Knockout putting on the biggest fake smile as I ask with the most sickening sweet tone I could. “You want to know something Knockout?”

“I know a lot of things dear; I could give you a list.” Knockout replies in his flirty undertone a smirk fixed on his facete, as he steps closer to my elevated resting place.

“You always bring me so much joy”, I make a pause to let him bathe in the praise and before he can speak up, no doubt to say something to feed his ego even more, I sweep in for the kill and continue, “as soon as you leave the room.”

For a moment he’s frozen, his smirk lacking his normal confidence, just as I was ready to celebrate this small victory, he catches himself again. “Oh, my such a rude thing to say to your guardian and dearest confidant.”

“Ugh you are the most annoying bot, con, being I have ever met,” I huff turning my face away from Knockout not wanting to have to look at his dumb angular face and shiny paint and small waist and deep red optics.

“It seems like someone has quite the mouth on them.” Knockout notes, advancing like a predator to his prey. Positing himself right in front of me and set his servo right behind me so he towers over me. “You really ought to be taught a better way to utilize it.”

Startled trough the close proximity to him I look around for a way to escape, only to realize that Knockout despite his size, has effectively trapped me. Well shit.

“Aww what is wrong my little cherry, don’t tell me your nervous”, Knockout laughs at me, as he lowers himself “oh where did all your confidence go hmm? Was all it took just a little bit of teasing for your bite to turn tail?

“What no I am not nervous especially not because of an oversized sentient tin can with an ego that would make Cleopatra jealous”, I huff continuing to look everywhere but at the smug mech infront of me.

“My, my such a snarky attitude”, Knockout leaned incredibly close, his intake next to my ear as he whispers, voice dropping an octave lower,” you’re just begging for someone to put you in your place.

Stunned by the forwardness of Knockout all I manage is to look like a fish on land with the way I am gaping at him.

“What is this did I finally manage to shut the little brat up?” Knockout leaned back staring into my eyes challenging me to do anything in opposition, as he forces me with a firm grip to hold eye contact. “Are you going to be good now?”

“I I uhh”, I swallow the lump in my throat under the piercing stare of the ex-con. His optics two piercing rubies that have their attention solely on me, hiding a certain heat behind them.

A chuckle breaks the silence as Knockout regards me with a certain mirth. “Ah I never expected to have so much fun in teasing my little cherry, but your reactions are finer than the best high grade.” In his usual fashion he struts to the door before turning his head to me and with a smirk gives me one last piece of advice. “I held back today, dear”, his voice takes on a dangerous edge, one he used when he was still a Decepticon on the battlefield before he continues, “but if your ever think to turn into a brat again. I will have you on your knees begging for forgiveness. Is that clear little cherry?”

A mute nod is all I can manage, as an answer.

“Ahahah, words my little cherry,” the mech tuts in a disapproving manner.

“Ye-…Yes sir”, I quack out, instantly my hands fly to my mouth as I realize what I just called him. Dread spreads through my body as after a few seconds Knockout smirk gets even wider.

“Seems like the brat does now how to be respectful,” with that he steps through the door and lets it slide shut behind him.

Leaving me wallow in self pitty trying to wrap my head around what just happened. Though one thing was clear, do not fuck with Knockout or you find out what you may not be ready for.

#transformers #tfp #transformers prime #knockout #knockout x reader #macaddam #suggestive #no nut november #no smut

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hx4x4enthusiast · 8 months

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Cybertronians meet the bloody Mary

Words: 2090

Optimus Prime x gender-neutral reader x Ratchet

Fluff/Comfort

Notice: This is a comfort fic for people with a uterus, suffering through their menstrual cycle. Meaning blood, function and structure of the uterus will be mentioned/explained.

I use Bloody Mary a lot in this fic not cause I am ashamed of having a period but more so because I found it funny to give it a name. Also not everyone’s period goes the same way so your period experience may differ from person to person.

This was a request from @theemoteam5994, that I was more than happy to write.

It was a pretty standard Friday evening I was sitting on the couch next to Miko reading a new book, I just got. Ratchet was working on the control panels recalibrating the ground bridge, Optimus stood at his control panel writing the report of the last mission for agent Fowler meanwhile Bulkhead repaired the lob ball. Jack had work, Raphael was out of country visiting family, which led Bumblebee and Arcee to drive patrol today. Resulting in Miko and me to hanging out alone. Which was fine it was a nice to not do anything for once.

Unexpected I started to feel something damp my pants, or to be precise my underwear. Oh, you gotta be kidding me. Mentally counting the days back since the last time, it happened and concluding that it had been indeed a month now, a defeated sigh escaped my lips. Which in turn made Miko turned to me in confusion.

“Whoa you good, what’s with the defeated sigh you sound like me when we are about to write a test.”

“Miko please just shut up and let me suffer in silence and desperation.”

“Yeesh since when are you so grumpy.”

“Since the high and mighty royal majesty, the bloody Mary decided to show up.”

“Ah Dave decided to visit.”

That caused me to raise a brow at Miko, to which she gave me a smile.

“Dave? Do I want to know.”

“You know that one sound “God, fucking damnit Dave, there goes the last shit I ever gave.”

“Omg, that’s genius.”

“Yes, it’s hilarious when you’re having period pain and just scream fucking Dave.”

“Oh man, Miko you’re a genius. By the way do you have tampons or a pad? I forgot my period bag.”

“Oh, shit did you just get it?”

“Yeah, and I would like to not have to explain to gigantic alien why my pants are red and what the menstrual cycle is.”

“Haha, understandable, I really wouldn’t want to explain what’s going on down there to Bulky.”

Giggling to each other, I’m forced to double over as a sharp pain shoot through my lower abdomen, causing a hiss of pain to escape me.

“Man, is your period always like that? It looks really painful. I mean my crams hurt to, but they are at least somewhat manageable.”

“Unfortunately, yes the problem with these I have to physically double over and can’t ignore them like the others.”

“That sucks. How about you go put on a pad or tampon or both and I call June if she can bring painkillers for you..”

“Oh my god Miko you’re a saint thanks.”

“No prob. The bag is in my front pocket underneath my slash monkey cd.”

Gratefully I go over to her bag as Miko makes her way to the medbay to find June. Finding the small cotton bag I take it out, zip Mikos bag back up and move hurriedly to the washrooms. Oh my god there is nothing more uncomfortable than sitting in a puddle of your own blood.

Coming back into the main hangar I moved towards the designated “human area” as Ratchet so lovingly nicknamed it. Miko was the first to notice my return and waved, as I climbed the stairs up. She intercepted me as I reached the stairs, I wordlessly gave her the little bag back, before she bend over and started whispering.

“Hey I called June and she said she bring some Aspirins and a few heating pads.”

“God I love that women, and you, bless you.”

“Yeah try to remember that the next time I go through the ground bridge.”

“Different issue Miko.”

“Ugh, well whatever, June said she bring the supplies when she picks up Jack after his shift.”

“Why does Nurse Darby have to bring painkillers and heating pads, and would you be so kind as to tell me why you didn’t think to inform me that you are unwell.”

Simultaneous Miko and I froze up as the very distinct sarcastic and very much unamused voice of the resident medic, rang from behind us. Turning around we were confronted with a very pissed of looking Ratchet.

“Ok you look like you can handle this right well my part is done, HEY BULKY LET’S GO DUNE BASHING.”

Miko didn’t hesitate to leave me alone and run up to the railing jumping onto her guardians servo as he immediately transformed around her and proceeded to race out of the base. Sharing his charges unwillingness to become a target of Ratchets anger. Left alone under Ratchets piercing gaze, I do my best to avoid eye contact.

“So, are you inclined to tell me now why you didn’t think it necessary to come to me for medical attention.”

“Oh uhm it’s really not that big of a deal.”

“If I didn’t treat every one that said “oh, that’s not that big of a deal” this entire team would be dead by now. So unless you miraculously became doctor you com to me with any kind of medical issue. Did I make myself clear?”

“Ratchet, it’s really none of your concern, I am fine.”

Quiet. It was deadly quiet, you could have heard a pin drop. Ah shit, I fucked up, I fucked up big time. I did the one thing you don’t do, ever. I broke the one rule on the base, crossed the one line even Optimus doesn’t cross. Don’t backtalk Ratchet when it’s about medical decision. Well it was a good life.

“Oh it’s none of my concern is it? My how interesting would you care to elaborate on why that is?”

“I...I I am sorry Ratchet, I didn’t mean it like th-ughnn.”

A sharp pain went trough my lower abdomen forcing me to hug myself as I doubled over. As the pain subsided and I was able to stand upright again, a green light beam went over my body. Looking up I was met with the sight of a very concerned Ratchet and an equally worried Optimus. When did he come over here, weird? I was ripped out of my train of thoughts as a sharp exhale escaped Ratchets vents.

“YOU ARE LOSING BLOOD AS WELL AS PART OF YOUR INNER LINING IS DETIRIOURATING AND YOU RUN AROUND HERE ACTING LIKE EVERYTHING IS FINE.”

“Because it is?”

Apparently, that was not the right or more like best thing to say. I could already see the oncoming triage, Ratchet was going to put me through. Just as he prepared to chew me out and preach his speech on taking proper care of oneself, a big servo landed on his shoulder plate. Optimus gently pulled Ratchet back before coming closer, bending down to my level.

“We are worried about you. Asking for help is nothing to be ashamed about.”

“Hmpf, especially if you lose essential organic fluids.”

“Ah, shit that’s not it’s, aww geez uh scrap how do I explain it.”

“While we both would appreciate an explanation, please don’t feel cornered or forced to please us. Though I do have to ask you to use a different manner of speech.”

“Huh, oh yeah sorry about that big guy. Just give me a minute”

Seeing Optimus giving a nod and even Ratchet, though begrudgingly, give me some space, I take a deep breath. Ok first me being a nervous wreck is not going to help anyone. So deep breaths, everything is fine. It’s not like you are going to have to explain how and what the menstrual cycle is, to gigantic aliens. Man, I sometimes hate my life so much. Letting out a deep sigh I turn around I make my way to the two bots.

“Ok, so first of all, I am ok, I will not bleed out or am sick with a terminal disease. What’s happening to me is a natural process that happens every month for more or less than a week depending on the person. Every person with a uterus goes through this with some exceptions. Yes, that includes June and Miko as well.”

Optimus and Ratchets frames slightly relax, tough confusion is still visible on their faceplates. Well, more on Ratchets than Optimus, though the leader frame is less rigid than before.

“But you are bleeding, isn’t the leaking of blood indication of an injury, do you mean it is natural for humans to injure their uterus every month?”

“What no we aren’t injured.”

“Perhaps it would help us understand better, if you were to explain on how this “menstrual cycle works.”

“OH, uhm sure. First of all the uterus is one of the reproductive organ’s humans have to reproduce. Each month, blood and tissue build up in the uterus to prepare for a fertilized egg in case a woman becomes pregnant. Important humans give live birth to their young not like other animals in eggs. Eggs is simply what we call the cell. If the egg isn't fertilized, that lining leaves the body through the vagina and that is what is called the period.”

Trough the explanation my eyes had driven away from the bots not wanting to see their faces of disgust.

“But then what is the menstrual cylcle? And that still doesn’t understand why you were in pain.”

Confused I look back up at Ratchet as he looked at me expectantly. Switching my point of view to Optimus he carries a similar expression though way more subtle than Ratchets.

“You, you aren’t disgusted?”

“Why would we I mean, its obvious a bit strange due to our different biologys. But so is your entire race.”

“As you explained, your period is a natural occurrence, there is no fault in that.”

“Oh ok.”

“You still haven’t answered my question.”

“Huh? Oh, yeah there are a lot of names for the period, like menstrual cycle, strawberry week.”

“I thank you for the explanation but there is still concern on your earlier episode of pain.”

“Oh yeah uhm, so basically to flush everything out, the uterus contracts itself which can lead to pain. How much pain someone experience is different for everyone. And well mine is sometimes so bad I double over.”

Both bots fall into back into silence, exchanging glances like they were silently communicating. Feeling slightly Causing me to shuffle my feet on the ground. Until Ratchets open servo comes up to me, an invitation to step into it. Confused I look at both Ratchet and Optimus. Sensing my confusion Ratchet responds.

“It is unreasonable to let someone alone when they are in pain, so get on.”

“What, no I am fine, I have dealt with this for the past 6 years on my own.”

“You should be resting.”

“No, I still have things to do I don’t need to rest.”

“Please do understand that we are just worried.”

Damn you Optimus, for making me feel bad about refusing help. Reluctantly I carefully climb onto Ratchets servo. Letting out a satisfied hum, he lifts me up to his chest, curling his digits gently around me. Carefully moving across the base, we go through a corridor I haven’t been in yet, only to land in front of a humongous door trough which Ratchet and Optimus can walk without any problems. Ratchet crosses the room and gently lays me down on the gigantic bed. Before turning around and walking around the bed to the other side before laying down himself.

Meanwhile, Optimus was closing a drawer, holding something I couldn’t make out and moved to join us. He deposited the content of his servo onto the berth near Ratchet. Before I could ask what and why they brought those things, my feet yet again left the ground.

Warmth surrounded me and weirdly a lot of red. Wiggling around I finally found the end of the blanket and looked up, only to be met, with two pairs of kind optics looking down at me.

“What’s all that?”

“We researched that warmth and comfort in the form of affection, food and a comforting environment prove, helpful when dealing with period pains.”

“Wait, you guys searched the internet to help me? Aww that’s so sweet.”

“Hmpf, well we can’t leave you alone in this time of you err, month.”

A smile starts forming, I snuggle back into the blankets happy about being so well cared for. My eyes are starting to feel heavy as a yawn escapes me, exhausted from the day’s events, I don’t fight the sleepiness taking over my body. Safe, warm, and protected by the two gentle guardians on each side of me.

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hx4x4enthusiast · 8 months

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Fluffy Wrecker Family headcanon

-Bulkhead always keeps a fluffy blanket and drawing materials in his subspace for Miko

-When Bulkhead gets flahbacks from his days as a wrecker on cybertron and feels guilt for killing mechs. Miko will climb up onto his chassis, take one of his servo bevor laying down above his sparkchambers and cuddeling up to the servo

-Miko found a katana keychain, painted it to match Wheeljack's swords and then gifted it to him. It has been Wheeljack good luck-charms ever since, he hang them around his rearview-mirror.

-Wheeljack has a scent for the interior of his alt mode, that smells like japanese cherry trees and Mikos favourite japanese sweets for Miko when she feels homesick.

-Bulkhead and Wheeljack always extend thier emp-field arround Miko. Miko doesn't know it and no one tells her.

-Once Ultra Magnus accepted Miko as a wrecker he helped her with studying, allowing her to sit in his drivers seat and go on patrol with him when she scores a C or better on a test in a class she struggels with.

-After getting help from Ultra Magnus and acing her tests, Miko started calling Ultra Magnus, sir. Because she wanted to do someting nice for him. Ultra Magnus doesn't show it but it made him very happy.

-Miko fell asleep in each of the wreckers alt-modes at least twice.

#transformers #tfp #transformers prime #tfp headcanons #wreckers #ultra magnus #bulkhead #wheeljack #miko nakadai #fluff #tfp fluff #transformers fluff #transformers prime fluff #tfp bulkhead #tfp wheeljack #tfp ultra magnus #Wrecker family #wrecker family fluff

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hx4x4enthusiast · 9 months

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Knockout trans headcanon

I just rewatched TFP and noticed something, Knockout takes always care of his looks. Atop of that his headlights are infront of his chest like when you wear a big hoodie it kinda puffs out. You know who else wears big hoodie to cover thier chest, Transboys. I can just imagine Knockout being formed as a femme seeker and him not feeling comfortable in his body and changing it. He would have the medical knowledge to do it. That's why he is so peculiar about his looks, cause he wants to be seen as a mech. And when his paintjob gets destroyed especially in the chest area. He has these extrem reactions to it like when Bulkhead painted his chest, cause he gets dysphoria.

#transformers #transformers prime #maccadams #headcanon #knockout #transgender #trans headcanon

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hx4x4enthusiast · 10 months

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Lost in the rain

Words: 2505

Optimus x gender-neutral reader

Hurt/Comfort

Trigger Warnings: Description of a mental breakdown, mentioned of suicide, self hatred, Unhealthy self-image, self-harm, depression, anxiety

Optimus forgets to pick up the reader after school. Angst and fluff ensues, Optimus just being the adorable softie that he is.

There are a lot of things that go wrong every day like a car breaking down while you’re on your way to an important meeting or having a blackout while writing on a project that defines half of your grade and losing 5 hours’ worth of work. The problems I am confronted with on a daily base are a tad bit bigger, as in 5 to 10m gigantic transforming aliens from another planet, bigger.

It was a few months back, I was in a small, abandoned warehouse just outside of Jasper when the ground shook and shortly after that a gigantic purple robot crashed through the side of the warehouse, followed by a another one with a red-blue colour screen, who walked through the previously made hole. The purple one managed to stand up again and after locking eyes with the bigger red and blue one, ran through the other side of the building causing a second hole which caused the building to collapse and me to scream. My scream alerted the red and blue robot of my presence, and he ran into my direction. Long story short, the red and blue robot saved me from the collapsing building and introduced himself as Optimus Prime and took me to meet the rest of the team and to inform me that I know sport my own gigantic metal alien bodyguard.

The day started quite good, I managed to get out of bed on time, my bag was already done, so I just had to put my lunch into my backpack and be on my way to school. I arrived there on time got my things out of my locker and went to class to sit down and that’s how the rest of my school day went. In hindsight I really should have seen, what came next coming, spoiler alert, I did not.

Due to me being a volunteer librarian assistant I take care of the school’s library as in putting the books back from the return bin back to their places sweep and on occasion dust of the bookshelves. Which means most of the time I stay until the end of the school day plus roundabout half an hour to make sure everything is in its place. Just like today, I just finished up with my duties and checked a few books out for myself and Optimus. When I first mentioned my school activity, I offered to quit as to not inconvenience anyone. But Optimus told me that keeping my hobby was fine. After that was cleared, he came to me questioning if I could bring him some books as he is quite interested in the preservation of human knowledge and culture.

The school bell rang, and I left the school building to find nothing. Ratchet or Optimus tends to stand in front of the school if I am doing my late school activity. Though today neither of them was anywhere in sight. Well, they probably just have something else to do or someone needed their help. I really shouldn’t be so judgemental, one of them is probably already on his way and even if they are not, they will probably send one of the other bots.

Someone will come, probably.

6pm

No one came. I don’t even know why I waited so long I should have just gone home, I am such an idiot. Oh, there are the self-destructive thoughts, I was wondering when they were going to join this merry party, note the sarcasm. God, I have a fucked-up sense of humour, well all in the package that is depression. Man, it’s cold, where is dissociation when you need it.

A honk behind me ripped me out of my, not very healthy thoughts. As I turned around, a big semi comes to a stop right before me. A Peterbilt to be specific, toning a red and blue colour scheme with a certain insignia, I know all too well.

“Hey Optimus, did you come to pick up your books?”

The Prime stayed quiet and opened the door to his driver seat. Well, that was weird, normally everyone that is permitted to drive with him sits in the passenger seat. But I wave him off, at this point I just want to get home, get warm, get sleep and if I am lucky enough, the last one will last for eternity.

“I am just going to go home I don’t really feel all that good, but I wish all of you a lovely weekend.”

“Little Archivist.”

God damn it Optimus, that’s unfair. He gave me the nickname after I told him about my hobby slash after school activity and called me that, ever since whenever we were alone our just Ratchet was in hearing range. It made me happy that he came up with a nickname for me. Ratchet even build me a bookshelf for the books I bring to the base, after he heard Optimus use the nickname for me.

“Join me.”

Startled through the voice of Optimus I realized it had started raining and I looked more and more like a soaked through kicked puppy. I didn’t want to go into the cab but when Optimus “asks” something you can’t say no. He is Optimus Prime and currently I hate him so much for it.

“Your seats will get wet.”

“You don’t need to worry about that.”

Well, I at least tried to escape. With slow footsteps I move to the open door and heave myself into the cabin. The moment I put my backpack away and adjusted myself on the seat I realize just how tiered I am. Not physically but mentally, I just want to crawl in a hole and cry, or die, at this point I am pretty fine with either situation happening. But I absolutely cannot breakdown, not here, not with Optimus present. As I lost myself in my thoughts, I felt a gentle pressure against my chest. Optimus seatbelt had tightened across it, tight enough to make feel protected but also lose enough to not make me feel trapped. The dim glow of the dashboard, with the now gentle drizzling of the rain against the windshield and the feeling of the comfy seat beneath my fingers, calmed me down and pulled me out of my less than healthy mindset. As my shivering went down, I noticed that Optimus must have turned on the heater. He didn’t initiate a conversation and just drove calmy towards the base, while I was thankful for the silence it did unsettle me slightly as well.

The base entrance opened, and we drove into the main room of the silo. Taking a deep breath, I took my bag from the Legroom of Optimus passenger seat, ready to open the door and put on my best smile. But the driver’s door didn’t open, and I started to slightly scratch my wrists. A habit I started whenever social situations became too much for me.

“Uhm, Optimus could you, or well would you open the door, please?”

“No.”

“Huh?”

Before I could shake out of my confusion, Optimus started his engine again and drove deeper into base. Taking turns until I didn’t know where we were, Optimus stopped in front of a big door that slid open and he proceeded to roll into the room. Only now did he open his door, allowing me to exit his vehicle mode. I carefully climbed out of his cabin, only when both of my feet had hit the ground and I was a few steps away from Optimus, did he transform back into his bipedal mode. Crouching down he silently offered me his servo. Looking up into his eyes I was met with a gentle, caring, apologizing expression. Still slightly hesitant I slowly stepped into his palm and sat down in the middle, as to not fall. Seeing as I was sitting safely in his servo Optimus mindful of his “passenger” moved across the room to what looked like a cybertronian sized desk, on which he carefully placed me, before moving to retrieve a small box from across the room.

Opening the box, Optimus pulled out what appeared to be a large beach towel, alongside an extra-large blanket, both items ironically coloured red and blue. He dropped the blanket in front of me and the towel on top of me. After fighting the towel off me I looked up to see the prime looking at me a guilty expression displaying on his faceplate.

“I apologise, little archivist. I forget you today, leaving you alone and without protection.”

“Ah, don’t sweat about it OP. Mistakes happen, that just makes you human for a change. Ans any way, I am old enough, I could have gone home earlier. It’s not like you’re my guardian or anything. But you know thanks for picking me up anyway, you really didn’t have to.”

I bullshit my way out of the uncomfortable silence. I have always been good at diverting attention away from me. And I was quite pleased to find out that it also worked on the advanced alien species. Well, it works pretty good on Bulkhead, Bumblebee, Arcee and 50% of the time on Ratchet. He unfortunately is pretty good on seeing through my diversions. Though apparently, I have to add Optimus to the list of people where it doesn’t work, as he regards me with a sceptical look and a raised eyebrow.

Shit.

“Know, you are in a safe environment. Your emotions are valid, and you have the right to express them, even ones like disappointment or anger. You deserve to feel safe and protected. I failed to provide an environment where you are free to express your emotions without judgement. And with the action of today, I broke a part of your faith in me. For that I apologise, little archivist.”

Stunned I gaped up at the Prime, speechless unable to put my thoughts into words. As I felt tears filling my eyes I quickly looked up, fanning my eyes not willing to let the Prime see how much his action and words affected me.

“It is okay to cry, little archivist.”

“No, cause if I start to cry, I will have a breakdown, and I do not have the mental stability for that right now. There are times and places for that and right here and now is not one of ‘em.”

“I promise I will be here for you.”

“No, Optimus you don’t understand either I suppress the breakdown, or I will try to take myself out of existence, permanently. And I am pretty sure no one wants to see a mangled human body at the base of the mesa. Cause currently I am this close to jump from the highest cliff I can find and to my knowledge is the mesa high enough.”

I shout out, my voice haven risen in tone and taken up the sarcastic tone that slips into my voice whenever I feel threatened. Realizing what I just admitted and to whom, I immediately shut up horrified looking up into Optimus eyes, tears streaming down my face. Curse me for crying when I am angry.

I feel a comforting warmth surround me as I feel myself being lifted up, and now leaning against a big warm metal plate, faintly hearing a gentle humming. Surrounded by warmth my ears pick up a deep baritone rumbling like a foreign lullaby.

The dam just breaks, tears are streaming down my face, as sobs wretch out my throat. Trough it all the warmth doesn’t leave, neither does the calming melody. As the tears ebb away and the sobs quiet down, I curl myself against the warm humming metal. A big digit carefully lifts my head up making me look up to see Optimus looking at me from above. Carefully using the tip of his finger to swipe away a tear traveling down myself. Looking up at Optimus I realize he has been the source of the calming song. Tearing my gaze away from the Prime I look around and realize I am sitting in his palm, leaning against his chassis.

“Didn’t know that Primes sing.”

I manage to croak out, tiredly letting my sight drift around the room. A simple hum was all the answer I got as he continued to produce the calming song. A deep sigh left me, to exhausted to deal with the aftermath of my breakdown. Heh, Breakdown, funny.

“It is an old cybertronian lullaby used to calm down sparklings.

“Ah ok. Uhm, I’m sorry.”

“You have nothing to apologise for, little archivist. I should have seen the signs that you were displaying.”

“Not your fault, I’m a broken freaking mess of a human being.”

“I think its’s brave that you get up

In the morning even if your soul is weary

And your bones ache for a rest.

I think it’s brave that you keep on

Living even if you don’t know how to

Anymore.

I think it’s brave that you push

Away the waves rolling in every day

And you decide to fight

I know there are days when you

Feel like giving up but I think it’s brave

That you never do.

It’s a poem I have come across that I think is quite fitting for you.”

“Thanks, Optimus.”

“There is no need for that, though the sentiment is appreciated nonetheless.”

That caused a small giggle to escape me. Optimus didn’t judge me for my thought train he didn’t scream at me nor made me feel guilty.

“I didn’t know you liked poetry.”

“In the war most data pads that held art in various forms, were either destroyed or deleted. When we arrived on earth, I did come across your planet’s poetry. It’s a nice distraction from the war.”

“Mhm. Was that the reason you wanted me to stay in my librarian assistant position.”

“Partly yes. I believe Mason Cooley explained it once. Reading gives us some place to go when we have to stay where we are.”

“A reader lives

a thousand lives

before he dies.

The man

Who never reads

Lives only once.

Hey Optimus?”

“Yes, my little archivist?”

“Would you, would you read your favourite poems to me?”

“It would be my pleasure little one.”

Optimus retrieved the fluffy blanket from his desk and carefully wrapped me in it. Though I was dry and warm again, I didn’t protest it, the blanket was really fluffy and wrapped comfortably around me. Seeing me content and happy in my cocoon, Optimus recited poems, some I knew others I have never heard before. But as his voice delivered the lines of poems old and new, my eyelids got heavier, until I drifted off into the world of sleep.

Having constantly monitored his young charge vitals, Optimus noticed the moment they slipped into recharge. He continued to recite poems and quieted down a little more with every line until he stopped altogether, smiling down at his charge.

“May you recharge well, my little archivist.”

#transformers #Transformers Prime #gender neutral reader #transformers angst #angst #hurt/comfort #hurt #fluff #maccadams #optimus x reader #optimus prime #optimus angst

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hx4x4enthusiast · 10 months

Text

Two sparks and a drumming heart

Part 2 (1560 words)

Part 1: https://www.tumblr.com/jorico/718189896394735616/two-sparks-and-a-drumming-heart-ship-optimus-x?source=share

Ship: Optimus x gender-neutral reader x Ratchet

Fic category: hurt/comfort

Trigger Warning: Self-Harm, Depression, mention of past suicide attempt,

“Speech”

-Commlink conversation-

kursiv=thought

Warmth covered my sore body and a gentle humming, greeted me as I slowly arose out of my sleep. Trying to wake up, as my still sleepy brain tries to piece together where I am and what happened. My inner thoughts get interrupted by a yawn, as I stretch myself, sit up and drowsily look around me. Looking around, I am greeted with the sight of a dark and seemingly empty room. Confused on how I got here, I realize that I sit on something, the same something I apparently slept on. My hands touch the comfortable warm surface, and it feels like several warm metal plate. Squinting my eyes, I spot two big masses, one on my right the other on my left. Letting my eyes drift over them two pairs of blue orbs greet me.

“Woah what the hell.”

“It seems our little troublemaker is awake, Optimus.”

One of the voices rumbles and it takes me a moment to realize that the big mass on my right is Ratchet.

“Huh Ratchet?”

“Yes, that would be my designation.”

“Where am I, what happened, who is…”

A yawn yet again interrupted my sentence. Ready to continue I was abruptly blinded by a bright light. I squirmed trying to hide back in the warm little cave I awoke in. That caused two deep rumbles to sound through the room. My little sleep cave was broken apart and I found myself lifted, blinking my eyes repeatedly helped adjusting to the bright light and I saw Ratchet lying on his helm propped up by one of his servos looking at me. Confused I turned around, only to be greeted by the sight of a red chest with big front windows. Craning my neck, I am met with the leader of the autobots himself gently looking down on me.

“Good morning little archivist, I hope you had a peaceful recharge.”

“Huh uh yes I think so?”

“Well, that was an intelligent answer.”

“Ratchet, I love you but please shut up I am really not a morning person.”

“While I understand humans are, sensitive in the morning please do refrain from using unnecessary language, dear.”

“Ok, I am sorry Optimus.”

The prime nodded contend with the answer given by the human in his palm. Before growing concerned looking to his conjux.

-Ratchet, I fear our little archivist is going to remember soon what transpired yesterday.-

-I am aware Optimus, I have sedative on the ready they won’t send them to sleep but calm them down, do we can talk to them, tough I would like to use that as a last resort.-

-I understand. We can only hope that the “spark sound” as Miko called it, is enough to keep our little archivist calm.-

Said human rearranged their sitting position. A sudden thought crossing his mind.

“Hey guys, quick question, not that I didn’t enjoy sleeping here, cause like hands down, best sleep I had in a long time. But like how did I end up here and more importantly why am I here anyway.”

I raked my brain trying to remember what happened yesterday, but my brain was freaking useless in the morning. Goddamit, I need coffee, with milk. Rubbing my temples, I start to remember feeling exhausted, both mentally and physically, yesterday. But the question is why? Looking up I see Ratchet and Optimus exchanging glance between each other and me. Like I am about to do run away or hurt myself. My thoughts come to an abrupt stop, memories of what happened yesterday flood my brain. A horrified expression overtakes my facial expression, I look up to Optimus and Ratchet slapping a hand over my mouth.

Tears started streaming down my face as I realize what happened yesterday. Two pairs of arms gently circle around my body, giving me Anchor points, to ground myself. The embrace was gentle yet firm, helping me ease my anxiety. The mechs had mass displaced to be closer to me.

“Shh, little spark, we are not mad at you.”

“You handled the situation as best as you could in that moment, there lies no fault in that.”

“You are strong, but you must be exhausted. You have been strong for a long time.”

“But you are safe now little archivist. We swore to protect you, be that from the Decepticons or the demons of your mind. That still holds true, know you’re not alone little spark.”

“Yes, I am. Everyone I care about always fucking leaves. I give so much, and I am so bloody tired of it. I make sure everyone eats and drinks enough, help with small injuries, listen when someone has a problem. But it is never enough people still leave. And when I trust someone enough to let them see the real me, to see that all of this is just a broken worthless fucking mess, they leave and I am left alone, having to put myself together again. I have managed to get through my entire life, I can take care of myself. Cause God forbit I am not able to meet the requirements set for me. So don’t you dare pretend that you care. “

After basically pouring my heart out, I level Optimus with a heated glare. Screaming, defensive statements, judgemental and condescending speeches. That’s what I expected, that’s what always happen. I am a spoiled brat, I have an attitude problem, stop wailing I can’t understand you. Those are the things I hear every time I pour my heart out.

One servo reaches around my upper back and the other under my legs, and I am gently lifted into a big warm chassis. My head is just above Optimus spark chamber and I hear the gentle humming of his spark. Confused I just let Optimus do what he, well currently does. Ratchet carefully approaches me like one would a scared animal. Looking down on my hand and back up into my eyes, silently asking for permission to hold my hands. I nod and gently Ratchet takes my hands in his servos and holds them.

“I apologise.”

Wait did, did Optimus just apologise to me why, he didn’t do anything wrong, I screamed at him. I did something wrong I am the problem. Why aren’t they screaming at me why are they so gentle? This is not how this is supposed to go why aren’t they following the script.

“We never wanted to make you feel like you needed to shoulder all of these Problems alone, little archivist.”

“What Optimus says holds truth, you were always there so we unintentionally always put all burdens on you. But you are still young, you shouldn’t have to shoulder everyone’s burdens and yours atop of that, alone.”

I blinked switching between looking at Optimus and Ratchet. Both noticed my looks and gazed at me equally confused.

“Hu, what.”

“Is everything alright, little spark?”

“Did we say something wrong?”

“You’re not following the script.”

I mumbled not even realizing I said my thoughts out loud. It was Ratchets and Optimus time to look at me confused. This time Ratchet started speaking in a confused tone.

“What script, little one?”

“You are not mad at me? You’re not gonna scream at me? Telling me that I am a cry-baby?”

“What? By Primus no who would do something like that. Emotional reaction no matter their nature a natural occurrence. Why would we or anyone berate you for that.”

Ratchet huffed out unable to understand why anyone would say such harmful things. As a medic he was well aware that words can have an immense influence on a patient’s mental stability.

“Little archivist, did you expected us to follow a certain pattern, and through our action we didn’t follow your expected script and now you are unsure on how to proceed and what to expect.”

Optimus asked in a gentle tone, hitting the nail on the head. All I could do was nod.

“I see. You can be sure that we will listen to you without judgement and help so that you may feel safe. We will not leave you alone.”

“Yeah, your stuck now with a self-sacrificing leader and a grumpy medic, little spark.”

That caused a giggle to escape me, hearing Ratchet refer to himself as grumpy was pretty funny. Looking up again I am met with the gentle and relieved expressions on the two mechs faceplates.

“Little archivist, we are aware that this is a lot to ask of you, but could you promise us something?”

“Come to us with your problems, we know that this is not easy, and we don’t expect you to immediately put all your trust in us. But maybe with small steps we get there.”

“If you have any thoughts or maybe already wounds from self-harm, please do come to one of us. You don’t need to say anything, just coming to us is appreciated.”

“I… I will try. I can… can’t make a… any promi…. promises but I will at least try.

“Thank you dear, that’s all we ask for.”

Ratchet comes closer and I find myself yet again in a warm hug. Tough this time without any fear or hurt. I think for the first-time things may be alright, maybe I can finally trust someone. Though one thought sticks, I will not be alone anymore.

#transformers #optimus x reader #optimus #tfp optimus #optimus prime #fluff #hurt/comfort #ratchet #tfp ratchet #ratchet x reader #ratchet x optimus #tfp #transformers prime #maccadams

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hx4x4enthusiast · 11 months

Text

Fated insults

Words: 1188

Ratchet x gender-neutral reader

Soulmate AU

where the first words your soulmate say to you are written on your body.

Warning: Strong language

Basically just Ratchet being Ratchet and the reader has no self preservation and is done with people. Also Starcream and Wheeljack make an apperance.

Move you idiotic crapheaded human.

Moving on, I just left school to go to my favourite spot it was one of the old buildings right outside of jasper. Intact enough to shield against wind and rain and far enough to not be bothered by anyone. Peddling there took about 30 minutes.

That’s what I have tattooed on my arm. The first words my soulmate, the person that will understands me like no one, and was chosen to be with me til death do us part, will say to me are a command followed by an insult. Oh, how lovely, I can not wait to meet them. Note the sarcasm. I tend to cover up the tattoo because the looks of pity I get are just so not worth it. All I want is peace, quiet and for people to stop being annoying.

Having arrived, I leaned my bike against the northern side away from the street and took out my schoolbag to get started on my homework. Settling into my corner I began studying Mendel’s law. Right as I got the factors of alleles, the ground rumbled, looking up I saw a flock of birds flying away and pebbles on the ground moving.

Carefully I stood up and moved outside to look what could have caused such noise. Cue to a gigantic grey robot thing crashing through the old, abandoned street into the building to my right. Well, I certainly didn’t expect that to happen, I also didn’t think two more robots would show up.”

“Here’s a message for your leader, dear old bucket head. Tell him his favourite Wrecker is back.”

“Wheeljack, would you calm down we are supposed to be in Disguise. And a human settlement is just around the corner.”

“Aww calm down sunshine, ain’t no way there are any squishy’s around.”

“I told you to stop calling me that.”

As the two still standing robots argued the grey one noticed started to move. Due to the way his head laid as he opened his eyes his gaze immediately landed on me and after a second of realizing what he saw he started to smirk and made to grab me. Noticing the movement of the grey robot the two still standing ones followed his claws and me.

“Scrap.”

“Move you idiotic crapheaded human.”

I didn’t need to be told twice. I did a 180 turned around and ran. But apparently not fast enough as I was grabbed by grey, sharp, and very long claw like fingers. The ground now several feet beneath me.

“Let the squishy go, screamer, or I do more than just scrap you.”

“Oh no I don’t think so, Wheeljack, for as long as I have the human neither of you would dare to hurt me. You Autobots turn so helpless the moment these organics are involved. Such a shame.”

“Let me go you overgrown, sorry excuse, for a sentient tuna can.”

“Silent you, insolent scum.”

Me mouthing off to tall and scary was just enough distraction so that the robot, apparently named Wheeljack, could sneak up to the one holding me captive. And without hesitation or holding back punched, the one they referred to as screamer. Yelling in pain, screamer let me go and having nothing holding me anymore, I fell, direction downwards. Man, I hate gravity. But before I would have met my unfortunate end. I was caught in the hands of the other robot, which Wheeljack called sunshine. Sunshine moved me away from who they called, screamer.

Screamer held his hand to his head where he had got punched, a few steps away from his assaulter. Wheeljack worked kind of as a shield standing between, me still in sunshine’s hand and screamer holding his head. Looking up he realized he had not only lost his advantage but was also outnumbered he scrambled back and transformed into a jet. What the actual hell.

“Augh, you Autobots. Course you all to the pits. I will have my revenge, just you wait.”

“Well, that takes care of at least one problem, for now.”

“The human saw us. We are going to have to inform Optimus and bring them along.”

“Ah come on doc, the little squishy got spunk, just like Miko they would make a great wrecker.”

“That’s what I fear.”

While Wheeljack and doc argued, the adrenaline started to leave my system and recounting what just happened, I realized several things.

Firstly, the last thought I had before I nearly died, was of me hating gravity. Which is probably not normal. Secondly gigantic robots that seem very much sentient exist. I was just held hostage by one and am currently sitting in the hand of another one. And lastly the hand in which I am sitting on, belongs to the robot that said to me the one sentence I despised my entire life, but still wanted to hear, the phrase I had to covered up as to not get pitiful glances or hear whispers behind my back.

Realizing doc used that wording meant he was my soulmate. A gigantic sentient robot was my soulmate. Fuck.

“Eh, doc I think the human broke.”

“What are you talking ab…? Uh, hey human. Are you ok?”

The next thing I knew pure fury overtook me as I thought about all the humiliation, I had to go through because of my soul mark.

“DO YOU KNOW HOW BLOODY FUCKING HUMILIATING IT IS TO RUN AROUND WITH A SOULMARK INSULTING YOU, FROM THE PERSON THAT YOUR MEANT TO BE FOR? YOU GOTTA BE FUCKING BLOODYLY KIDDING ME, YOU COULDN’T HAVE SAID ANYTHING BLOODY ELSE, DID IT REALLY HAVE TO BE AN INSULT? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU.”

It was dead silent after my rant, and both robots looked on me with shocked looks on their faces. You could hear a pin drop. That was until Wheeljack began to snort, which then turned into a full-on laugh. And that managed to shake doc out of his demeanour.

“Oh, you complain, imagine having that half essay on your body. In caps, might I add. So, I…, Wheeljack would you stop laughing it’s not funny.”

“Hehehhe, sorry, it’s just, buaghhahah, you met your soulmate and you both just insult each other it’s gold.”

“Ugh, so you are my soulmate. Primus give me strength.”

“Hey, I didn’t choose to have an sentient ambulance as a soulmate, either doc.”

“Oh no, I don’t care if you’re my soulmate, you do not call me doc.”

“But Wheeljack called you doc, and you look like an ambulance.”

“Yes, because Wheeljack is a menace, that was dropped to often on the helm as a sparkling.”

“Hey that’s not nice Ratchet.”

“You, zip your intake.”

“So, what is your name, I doubt it is sunshine.”

“Primus no. My designa- name is Ratchet. It..It is nice to meet despise our rocky start.”

I smiled up at him. Now really looking at him, he was quite cute especially the dimly blue tint on his cheeks.

“It is nice to meet you to. I am your soulmate, I am excited to get to know you, Ratchet.”

#Transformers Prime #transformers #ratchet x reader #ratchet #transformers soulmate #soulmate au #gender neutral reader #happy pride 🌈#happy pride month #wheeljack #starscream #macaddam

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hx4x4enthusiast · 11 months

Text

Two sparks and a drumming heart

Part 1 (3233 words)

Part 2: https://www.tumblr.com/jorico/721903257373605888/chapter-2-1560-words-warmth-covered-my-sore-body?source=share

Ship: Optimus x gender-neutral reader x Ratchet

Fic category: hurt/comfort

Trigger Warning: Self-Harm, Depression, mention of past suicide attempt,

“Speech”

-Commlink conversation-

kursiv=thought

It was a calm Friday at the base, the kids finally got the permission from their parents, Fowler and Optimus to have a sleepover all weekend long. Difference all the kids sleep with their guardians, and I will sleep n the main area.

You see everyone has a guardian, a protector of sorts, they pick you up from school protect you from the Decepticons spent time with you while you teach them about earth and humans. For example, Arcee is Jacks Guardian, Bulkhead protects Miko meanwhile Raf has Bumblebee as his Guardian and I well, I can take care of myself, always has always will and that is fine. Believe me I can understand Optimus is the leader of the Autobots he already knows all about Earth and humans a top of that he has the burden of an entire planet and war on his shoulder, meanwhile Ratchet constantly works from trying to help with scientific advancements to give constant medical services.

Ratchet is a medic to be more precise the medical officer of the Autobots, and probably the person that loathes me the most. And I tried to befriend him, or at least be on civil speaking terms (like June), with him but every time I try, it seems the opposite happens. Some people just don’t get along with others. And I would stay out his way believe me I can take a hint. My other half guardian would be Optimus he is the leader. He is civil with everyone, and kind of the only bot Ratchet is willing to listen to. He is nice we, on the rare occasion he has time, talk about books. But well Optimus is the Autobot leader and a Prime he doesn’t have time for a small human like me, which is absolutely understandable, I mean he carries the weight of the fate of our planet and the future of his planet on his shoulder. While simultaneously being a strong leader for his team and fighting in a war. Problem they are my guardians, well half guardians, they sometimes just drive me home or well bridges me there. But seeing the other kids with their guardians does make me miss something I wish I had, but that’s just me being silly. And I have my ways to deal with these thoughts and feelings.

Shaking myself out of those thoughts I look at the time and realize the kids are not going to be back soon. Jack and Arcee were on Patrol, Raf and Bumblebee were out as well probably racing and finally, Miko and Bulkhead are out dune bashing. Realizing I have the bathroom to myself I grab my bag and move into the direction of the shower.

We all had bags in the base with back up clothes, sleeping bags and basic hygiene products after one-to-many incidence that ended in us needing a change of clothes or having a spontaneously sleepover. And I was in desperate need of a shower.

Infront of the bathroom we put an old locker where we could put our stuff, the locks were Jacks idea to make the locker Miko-proof. After I took my clothes and shower out of my locker, I checked the floor to check for anyone in the hallway. Knowing it was empty I rummaged through my bag to get to a small cardboard box buried under my clothes. Having the little box in my hands I pull out one of the wrapped articles an put the box back into its hiding spot. Having the utensil concealed underneath my clothes I give one last look into the hallway before stepping into the the room with the showers and putting my clothes into the designated spot. I start to strip out of my clothes, and leave them on the floor, they are a problem for future me. Taking my shampoo, bodywash, towel and the still wrapped object I proceed into the actual shower. The warm water on my skin feels like heaven and I release a shaky breath.

There are several reasons in my opinion why showers are great. But the biggest is probably that a shower washes everything away like stress, exhaustion, tears, and blood. Though I suppose for most people they are just a way to get clean. In the background of my brain my thoughts are continuing their philosophy about humans and shower time. While I watch fascinated, with the occasional sharp sting on my lower arm, as red mixes with the clear water and goes down the drain. I glance to my arm and see my dominate hand holding the now unwrapped blade while continuously slitting red lines into my skin. The little red drops don’t even have time to form as they are immediately washed away. It has been some time since I last did this. When did I last cut myself, it was probably a few weeks before I met the Autobots. Right, I wanted to kill myself on the day I met the Autobots but couldn’t go through with it because The Decepticons attacked me before I could begin. And since then, I didn’t find the time. Oh, right I should go back before someone tries to find me. No one should see me this way.

Quickly washing my hair and body, while being careful around my wound, I turned off the shower and dried myself up, carefully dipping around the wound, it was a good decision to buy black towels. After throwing on a hoodie and a pair of short sweatpants I clean up after me and leave the shower, stuffing the wrapping paper and blade into my hoodie, to dispose of them later. After gripping my bag and putting it back into my locker, I slowly start to trot back to the others.

The main room came into view, mentally preparing myself for the social flood I take a deep breath and step into the room. Only to find nothing, or more like no one, the room is empty. The human area is missing Jack, Miko as well as Raph and even Arcee, Bumblebee along with Bulkhead are missing. Only Ratchet and Optimus are on the computers no doubt calculating and strategizing the future of the Autobots. Having just taken a few steps into the room both of them suddenly freeze which is concerning. After they scan the room for whatever it is that unsettles both their optics land nearly contemporaneous on me.

“Uhm are you okay should, should I leave, I can go no Problem I didn’t mean to interrupt you. Do you know where the menaces are I wou-.”

“You are injured.”

“What?”

“You are injured.”

I blinked my mind trying to process onto what is happening. While Ratchets observation is not wrong, how did he know? Does Optimus know? He looks just as shocked as Ratchet. Wait do they know? Know what I did? No, they can’t that’s not possible. But they are aliens, with high tech and Ratchet is essential a doctor. My body erupts into goosebumps, and I have a full body shiver. Which tears me out of my thoughts. Just in time to see Ratchets green arm scanner disappearing and him looking at the apparent scan results. Looking up it’s like some turned a switch around and he is in doctor mode.

“You have multiple incisions on your underarm. The next steps are to clean the wound and wrap it up to keep the wounds from getting infected and help with the healing process. Now follow me to the med bay so that I can ensure the appropriate treatment of the wounds and check if there are incisions that need stitching.”

I look shell shocked between Optimus and Rachet. Unable to react.

“Well, what are you waiting for the faster you receive medical treatment the lesser the chance of infection.”

One thought crosses my thought. -If Ratchet takes me to the med bay he will see the wound, if he sees the wounds, he wants to know how they came to be. Then I must explain, then they will now that I am a useless wreck, and they should abandon me. - Scared of the reaction that will follow the reveal of the reasons behind my scars I do the only thing, sensible to me at that moment. I turn tail and bolt out of the room into maze which are the corridors of the old missile silo. Followed by an angry shout.

“You better come back here right this nanocycle, or so help you, Primus!”

The floor feels like it is vibrating and the muffled sound of something solid hitting the ground repeatedly, changes to fast approaching vehicles. A Blur of red and white speeds past me, I collied with solid metal. A Ambulance is parked right in front of me. The ambulance belongs to a medic, a medic which patient just went AWOL and not only tried to escape treatment but also him. Doing a 180 is met with yet another collision, this time though the metal adorns a red-blue colour scheme and the vehicle changes from an ambulance to a semi-truck. Both ways blocked by vehicles and surrounded by thick concrete walls that are enclosing rapidly.

“What is wrong with you? What happened back there?”

“Little Archivist?”

A high-pitched tone goes through my ears and my hands instinctively cover them, only for my chest to feel like someone laid multiple rocks on my lungs. Rapidly trying to take deep breath to get oxygen in my lungs doesn’t seem to work and my vision starts to blur. The feeling of a calm deep baritone voice starts to slowly blend the high-pitched noise out. while the feeling of warmth and something smooth encircles me. Drawing small patterns onto the metallic looking appendage start to pacify the wind whirl in my thoughts.

“You are safe our little archivist, everything’s going to be alright, we are here.”

“Can I come closer? Is it okay if I touch you?”

Looking up I am met with the concerned optics of Ratchet. I nod and slowly the feeling of something warm and smooth encircles me. And I find myself sitting in a metal servo with a cybertronian equivalent of a thumb gently draped over my legs Drawing small patterns onto the metal appendage furthers the process to pacify the wind whirl in my thoughts. And I feel a light draft from being slowly lifted, as Ratchet starts to slowly right himself to his full hight. Optimus slowly makes his way over to us with careful steps, like one would do when faced with a scared animal.

“Little Archivist, are you back with us?”

Looking up to Optimus I nod, his faceplate shows the same feelings as Ratchet. Confusion, Concern and behind the two one could see fear.

“We won’t discuss or ask about what transpired if you don’t feel ready for that conversation.”

“But I do need to take of your wounds. I won’t ask any question related to how you got them, in exchange you will go with us to the med bay and let me take care of the injury.”

“And after the medbay you will stay within both see and hearing distance of either me or Ratchet, which includes recharge which we will do once Ratchet has checked you, over. Do you agree to our condition?”

I nod unsure and confused on what else I could do. Ratchet carefully curls his servo around me and we move into the direction of the medbay. No one saying a thing.

As Ratchet walks through the doors of the medbay Optimus directly behind us closes the doors and moves to the side of the berth Ratchet carefully put me on. A series of clicks later two mass-displaced cybertronians are sitting next to me. As Ratchet makes a move to inspect my arm, I get startled out of my vegetive state and recoil back. Right into Optimus. Gently he lifts me up like I weigh nothing and deposit me into his lap. One servo circles around my midsection and remains there light enough to not make me feel trapped but still secure enough to give comfort and be grounding. All the while laying his other servo on my head and tenderly guiding my head to his chest plate right above his spark. The sound of his spark giving me something to focus on, as I lean against him.

“Your safe little archivist, we are here, we want to help you.”

The deep rumble of Optimus voice and the warmth of his chassis made me snuggle closer to him.

“He is right little spark, would it be ok if I touch you? I want to take a closer look at your wounds.”

Looking up at Ratchet I saw the gentle look upon his faceplate, being reassured by his words and voice. I slowly uncurled my arm and hold it out for Ratchet, my scars on full display for both cybertronians to see. Both silent as Ratchet inspects the scars and starts getting the supplies, he needs to clean the incisions, from his human med bag that I only notice now.

“I am going to disinfect the wound now, little spark. This may sting a little.”

Hissing as the alcohol-soaked cotton ball hit my wounds was the only thing I could really do, with the firm grip Optimus and Ratchet had. I couldn’t escape or really move my limbs, though I weirdly didn’t feel trapped, it felt comfortable, it felt safe. After cleaning up the wounds, Ratchet put some ointment onto aid in the healing process and started wrapping up the arm, while continuing to hold my arm in the strong hold. Ratchet took a deep vent, a human custom he adopted. And raised his helm util his optics met my eyes.

“These incisions are very clean, like they were created with a sharp object under the intension to cause harm.”

“A sharp object like a knife or a razor blade.”

That sentenced from Optimus made me look up, only to see his gaze on a small metal object in his left servo that had previously held my head. I paled and try to escape only to realize Optimus had tighten his grip around my mid-section and Ratchet held my arm the same way Optimus held my mid-riff. Atop my legs were trapped between Ratchets thigh guards. It was clear that they both did this before and had no intension of letting me run away again.

“No no, let me go. Please I won’t do it again I swear. Just please.”

In hindsight I also could have tried to move a brick wall and would have been more successful. But in that moment my flight reflex complex was in full motion. Ratchet took that moment to ask the dreaded question.

“Little Spark did you do it? We are not mad or disappointed, we won’t scream or judge you.”

“But we need to know if you hurt yourself, little archivist. We want to help but we can only do so if you let us.”

“You are important to us, we don’t…can’t lose you. Please talk to us.”

Hearing their concern, I hesitantly looked up to see their optics on me. Fear and sadness edged onto both of their faceplates. Seeing the always confident leader of the Autobots and the consistently guarded medic be this vulnerable for me. They cared for me, the one always over, the third wheel made, the back-up friend, made me break. For the first time in a long time, I opened up to someone, let someone see my heart, see me. Not the carefully crafted persona made to please everyone. No, I showed them the real me the shattered person that fixed themselves with all-purpose glues and duct-tape. I always was pretty ugly when I cried.

As my crying ebbed down into silent little sobs and I realize my surroundings. I find myself in a hug, surrounded by warmth and seeing parts of an orange-white shoulder pad. Slowly the shoulder pad moved back to reveal a chassis with a helm and a face plate with a look of love, care and relief.

“Now little spark, I say you need a good recharge, doctors’ orders.”

I heard Optimus chuckle, at Ratchets attempt to hide his as he calls it “soft side”, as he lifts me up and into his arms. Causing me to yelp and latch onto Optimus due to the sudden movement. Causing another chuckle from Optimus and a small smirk from Ratchet.

“I agree with him you need rest, little archivist. Besides I don’t think it is wise to go against a medic’s orders. Especially Ratchets”

“Can I get that in writing.”

I couldn’t help myself and smiled, it was small and a little shaky, but it was real, the first one in a long time, that wasn’t forced. Turning back to his original size ratchet took Optimus with me in his arms into his servo and moved out of the medbay.

“Where are we headed?”

“To our hab suite little spark. Because besides you there is another bot that hasn’t recharged in a few decacycles and desperately needs to shut down.

Said bot kept quiet and didn’t acknowledge the hint Ratchet gave. Continuing the journey to the bot’s quarters while surrounded by Optimus warmth and with the gentle movement of Ratchet, my eyes felt heavy, and I couldn’t contain my yawning. The Adrenalin is probably leaving my body. Fighting against the exhaustion seemed useless as I grew more tired from minute to minute. Until sleep claimed me and I fell asleep in the arms of Optimus.

Feeling a sudden weigh on his shoulder the Prime carefully moved his helm to see their little human deep in recharge on in his arms. Feeling a small smile make his way onto his faceplate as he carefully readjusted his grip on the small human.

-Ratchet it seems our little sparkmate, didn’t make it to our berth to fall into recharge. -

Ratchets gaze fell upon his Counjux to see the little human, in his arms, indeed had felt into recharge.

-Well, are you surprised, after everything that happened today. I am just disappointed we didn’t notice it earlier. Then they wouldn’t have to suffer today. Who knows how long they already had to deal with this on their own. –

Feeling the blame Ratchet put on himself through their spark bond. Optimus looked up to his Conjux.

-Not you or I are to blame for not this. Though the situation my be dire it is good we have found out now before worse could happen. Now we are able to help, able to stand beside them to fight of their inner demons. –

-Always the poet, Optimus. But enough of the sentimental their will be more than enough time for that in the future. For now it’s time for recharge, both of you desperately need it. –

Seeing they arrived at their shared hab suite. They end their commlink conversation, as Ratchet carefully deposits them on the berth. Optimus carefully lays the sleeping human in his arms down, before changing back to his original size and laying himself next to his conjux. Taking their little human between them. They share a little kiss before powering down to the sound of two sparks and a drumming heart.

#transformers #transformers prime #macaddam #ratchet x reader #optimus x reader #optimus x ratchet #optimus prime #transformers angst #transformers comfort #ratchet #gender neutral reader

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