i-promise-im-straight

[i-promise-im-straight]

depending your entire mood on another person is absolutely pathetic and i hate that i’m like this

[i-promise-im-straight]

Welp I tried to delete this fucking app because it's bad for my mental health but I guess I can't even do that. Who knows I might relapse tonight as well.

#mental health #mental illness #tw depressing thoughts #tw depressing stuff #tw sui ideation #tw su1c1d3 #tw s3lf harm #selfharn #tw self h4rm #depressing shit #depressiv #depressing post #tw self destructive behavior #dying alone #sewerslidal #sorry for being depressing #slef harm #sh relapse #tw sh implied #sh blog #sh thoughts #sh twt #shblr #shtumblr #tw sh related #tw sh relapse #tw sh vent #tw sh in tags #tw self destruction #self destruction

[i-promise-im-straight]

I'm sorry I can't be better.

I'm sorry I don't eat enough.

I'm sorry I want to rip my body to shreds over every inconvenience.

I'm sorry about the scars on my thighs.

I'm sorry about the scars in my mind.

I'm sorry I can't love you as much as you deserve.

I'm sorry I want to kill myself.

I'm sorry for being me.

#mental health #mental illness #tw depressing thoughts #tw depressing stuff #tw sui ideation #tw su1c1d3 #tw s3lf harm #selfharn #tw self h4rm #depressing shit #e@tingdisorder #4n4rexia #4n4r3x14 #4norexi4 #tw ed vent #disordered eating thoughts #ed diet #sorry for being depressing #depressing post #depressiv #self destruction #tw self destructive behavior #dying alone #suicudal #slef harm #sewerslidal #self h@rm #tw self destruction #sewer slide #tw selfhate

[i-promise-im-straight]

FUCKFUCKFUCKFUVKFUCK MY SISTER HEARD ME PURGING IN THE SHOWER

#disordered eating thoughts #e@tingdisorder #tw ed vent #mental health #mental illness #tw depressing thoughts #tw depressing stuff #depressing shit #sorry for being depressing #depressiv #depressing post #tw ana thoughts #ed diet #bulimima

[i-promise-im-straight]

I wish I could cry. I wish I could bawl my eyes out and scream till my lungs ache but I fucking can't. Why can't I fucking cry?

#mental health #mental illness #tw depressing thoughts #tw depressing stuff #tw sui ideation #tw su1c1d3 #depressing shit #depressing post #depressiv #dying alone

[i-promise-im-straight]

This sums it up better than I could

i want to keep the promise i gave to my therapist and to my loved ones

i don't want to disappoint them

but my scars itching, i want to make more

i want to feel the pain i know i deserve to feel

i want to bleed

[i-promise-im-straight]

Don't you just love it when you can actively feel yourself making the people around you hate you, yet you're unable to stop?

#mental health #mental illness #tw depressing thoughts #tw depressing stuff #tw sui ideation #tw su1c1d3 #depressing shit #tw self destructive behavior #suicudal #sewerslidal #depressing post #depressiv #sorry for being depressing #tw self destruction #dying alone

[i-promise-im-straight]

Why won't the fucking pills work? I'm still depressed just slightly less and I can barely drink any more. I hate this shit.

#mental health #mental illness #tw depressing thoughts #tw depressing stuff #tw sui ideation #tw s3lf harm #selfharn #tw self h4rm #tw su1c1d3 #depressing shit #made of styrofoam #suicudal #slef harm #depressing post #dying alone

[i-promise-im-straight]

They all get sick of me eventually. One by one, my friends slowly realise I'm a lost cause. Maybe they're right.

#mental health #mental illness #tw depressing thoughts #tw depressing stuff #tw sui ideation #tw s3lf harm #selfharn #tw self h4rm #tw su1c1d3 #depressing shit #cvtt1ng #tw self destructive behavior #tw self destruction #made of styrofoam #suicudal #slef harm

[i-promise-im-straight]

[i-promise-im-straight]

My favourite hobby is dropping extremely vague hints that I'm doing worse, or saying nothing at all and then acting like my friends don't care about me when they don't check in on me. Not to mention I'd probably say I'm fine if they asked.

#mental health #mental illness #tw depressing thoughts #tw depressing stuff #tw sui ideation #tw s3lf harm #selfharn #tw self h4rm #tw su1c1d3 #depressing shit #depressing post #tw self destruction #suicudal #s3lfh4rm #slef harm

[i-promise-im-straight]

I think people don't realise that the phrase "I could quit if I want to" is 100% true. I really could, there's just no way in hell I would ever want to, and that's the problem.

#mental health #mental illness #tw depressing thoughts #tw depressing stuff #tw sui ideation #tw s3lf harm #selfharn #tw self h4rm #tw su1c1d3 #depressing shit #tw self destructive behavior #tw self destruction #made of styrofoam #suicudal #e@tingdisorder #disordered eating thoughts #tw ed vent #tw ana thoughts

[i-promise-im-straight]

Everyone talks about getting better as if being happy is where I should be, but they never stop to consider that maybe I'm unhappy for a reason. Maybe I really just am a piece of shit. Maybe being unhappy in a world as fucked as ours is the healthy thing. Getting "better" feels more like I'm just getting more numb to the world's problems as well as my own. How am I supposed to get better when better doesn't even feel right?

#mental health #mental illness #tw depressing thoughts #tw depressing stuff #tw sui ideation #tw s3lf harm #selfharn #tw self h4rm #tw su1c1d3 #depressing shit #depressing post #tw self destruction #tw self destructive behavior #made of styrofoam #suicudal

[i-promise-im-straight]

Damn ok so I just had my first psychiatrist appointment and literally got diagnosed with 10 things. Fuck.

#mental health #mental illness #tw depressing thoughts #tw depressing stuff #tw sui ideation #tw s3lf harm #made of styrofoam #selfharn #tw self h4rm #tw su1c1d3 #e@tingdisorder #tw ed vent

[i-promise-im-straight]

I'm so fucking stupid. I want to starve myself but I can't stop thinking about how much I love food. I wish I could eat food without actually ingesting any calories.

#mental health #mental illness #tw depressing thoughts #tw depressing stuff #tw ed vent #disordered eating thoughts #bing3 eating #3atingdisord3r #e@tingdisorder

[i-promise-im-straight]

I keep trying to write my feelings down so I can at least get them out, but I don't even know what I'm feeling. All I know is that I feel awful.

#mental health #mental illness #tw depressing thoughts #tw sui ideation #tw depressing stuff #tw s3lf harm #made of styrofoam #selfharn #tw self h4rm #tw su1c1d3 #tw self destruction #depressing post #depressing shit

[i-promise-im-straight]

I don't know if I actually want to get better. I definitely don't deserve it and it'd be a lot easier to just continue going downhill until I eventually work up the courage to off myself.

#tw depressing stuff #mental health #mental illness #tw depressing thoughts #tw sui ideation #tw s3lf harm #made of styrofoam #selfharn #tw self h4rm #tw su1c1d3 #depressing shit #tw self destruction #depressing post