incorrectskywalkers

[incorrectskywalkers]

hey guys check this out

since i don't actually have the time to make it a fully fledged fic (yet) for now i'm settling on making it a series of one shots and mini fics of the bits i want to write. so here's the first installment of the series, aka, where everything goes wrong!

Fallen Order AU where Cere is killed and Cal is taken by Darth Vader with the intention of making him an Inquisitor. But when Cal’s psychometric abilities are revealed, Vader has a different plan in mind, one that causes certain truths and revelations to come to light. Cal didn’t know what he was getting into when he showed Vader what he saw through those echoes, but he really didn’t sign up to accompany said Sith Lord while he went through a midlife crisis.

Essentially, Vader finds out the truth about how Palpatine lied to him and how Padmé really died and also the fact that he has twins out there somewhere and decides “fuck palpatine” and drags a bewildered Cal - who becomes his unofficial apprentice of sorts - with him as he plots a way to take the emperor down and also, find his kids.

Also a Darth Vader redemption of sorts. He’s still a pretty shitty guy at the start and his whole reason for wanting to kill the Emperor is solely to avenge Padmé. He also has some murderous intent towards Obi-Wan for hiding his children from him and also, leaving him to burn. He’s in the mindset of believing that he wasn’t at fault and blames others for everything that happened, including his actions. But gets a hard wakeup call from Cal when he shows him just how shitty things are and what the Empire, what he has done and finally thinks “oh, I’m the problem” and from then on his slow redemption starts as he sets out on attempting to repair the damage done as he starts back on the rocky path towards the light. He also trains Cal, who at first goes “fuck that and fuck you” but eventually the two become a duo. Like Vader and Starkiller if Vader was going through a crisis, stumbling through a path of redemption and Starkiller was his tired, annoyed, unofficial apprentice who was unwillingly dragged along for the ride.

[incorrectskywalkers]

Fallen Order AU where Cere is killed and Cal is taken by Darth Vader with the intention of making him an Inquisitor. But when Cal’s psychometric abilities are revealed, Vader has a different plan in mind, one that causes certain truths and revelations to come to light. Cal didn’t know what he was getting into when he showed Vader what he saw through those echoes, but he really didn’t sign up to accompany said Sith Lord while he went through a midlife crisis.

Essentially, Vader finds out the truth about how Palpatine lied to him and how Padmé really died and also the fact that he has twins out there somewhere and decides “fuck palpatine” and drags a bewildered Cal - who becomes his unofficial apprentice of sorts - with him as he plots a way to take the emperor down and also, find his kids.

Also a Darth Vader redemption of sorts. He’s still a pretty shitty guy at the start and his whole reason for wanting to kill the Emperor is solely to avenge Padmé. He also has some murderous intent towards Obi-Wan for hiding his children from him and also, leaving him to burn. He’s in the mindset of believing that he wasn’t at fault and blames others for everything that happened, including his actions. But gets a hard wakeup call from Cal when he shows him just how shitty things are and what the Empire, what he has done and finally thinks “oh, I’m the problem” and from then on his slow redemption starts as he sets out on attempting to repair the damage done as he starts back on the rocky path towards the light. He also trains Cal, who at first goes “fuck that and fuck you” but eventually the two become a duo. Like Vader and Starkiller if Vader was going through a crisis, stumbling through a path of redemption and Starkiller was his tired, annoyed, unofficial apprentice who was unwillingly dragged along for the ride.

#im very tempted to write a fic based on this premise but i already have an ongoing work #and i am awful at balancing multiple fics at once. but one day!! i might #star wars #star wars au #jedi fallen order #jedi survivor #cal kestis #darth vader #anakin skywalker #padme amidala #obi wan kenobi #not a quote

[incorrectskywalkers]

This is always so fucking funny to me. Leia thinking about how she'd love to step on Vader's cape to make him trip, when the reality is that that tiny little thing would be going for a RIDE on Seven Foot Tall Robo-Stilts Cyborg Nightmare Man's cape and he would barely even NOTICE her there. (A New Hope: The Princess, the Scoundrel, and the Farm Boy | Alexandra Bracken)

#honestly it would be so funny if she DID trip him like #vader's acting all dramatic and after some threatening he walks away and leia just stares at him #before stepping down hard on his cape which in turn takes him wholly off guard and he falls face first onto the floor #neither expected it #leia's a lot stronger and has more force (ha get it) than others think #anakin skywalker #leia organa #not a quote

[incorrectskywalkers]

#i am a firm 'leia is not a padmé clone and actually looks more like anakin' truther always #leia organa #not a quote

[incorrectskywalkers]

probably waiting for Padme and Luke at the spaceport or sth ajshdgkasd

#i reckon he looks so done because leia's biting his arm like the gremlin child she is and he needs more caf to deal with this </3 #star wars #not a quote

[incorrectskywalkers]

Leia post in honor of Carrie Fisher’s passing which was 7 years ago today.

#every single one of these is perfect #leia organa #not a quote

[incorrectskywalkers]

Sibling asked how ppl in star wars dance to jizz music and I had to give her an example

#not a quote

[incorrectskywalkers]

more disaster lineage cal au incorrect quotes because i really want to write a fic about this but writer's block be damned so i'm doing this instead

~~~

Anakin: I lost Cal. Obi-Wan: How did you LOSE Cal?! Anakin: To be fair, he is very small.

~~~

Obi-Wan, watching Cal do something stupid: Anakin, you're officially only the second highest risk here. Anakin: Hell yeah! I'm gonna— Obi-Wan: Don't finish that sentence, you'll move back up.

~~~

Obi-Wan: Cal, please get that hideous thing out of the living room, would you? Cal, to Anakin: Obi-Wan wants you to get out of the house.

~~~

Anakin, to Cal: Okay, I get it. You've had a really hard time lately, you're stressed out, seven people died- Cal: Twelve, actually. Anakin: Not the point. Look, they're dead now and really whose fault is that? Cal: Yours. Anakin: That's right, no one's. Also don't tell Obi-Wan about this.

~~~

Anakin: What’s wrong? You look 10 seconds away from ripping someone’s throat out. Obi-Wan: Cal and Ahsoka were trying to invoke one of the minor gods again last night. I didn't get an ounce of sleep, thanks to their bloody chanting.

~~~

Cal: Could you guys at least try to see this from my perspective? Ahsoka: *crouches down* Obi-Wan: *kneels down* Anakin: *sits on the floor* Cal: Cal: I hate all of you.

~~~

Anakin, driving and singing to the Little Einsteins theme song: We’re going on a trip- Cal: In our favorite piece of shit! Ahsoka: Doing 95! Obi-Wan: We’re going to kriffing die!

#together anakin. cal and ahsoka are like the unholy trinity of chaos #also to note in this au. cal is obi-wan's padawan and ahsoka is still anakin's #cal would be like. 9/10 when he becomes obi wan's padawan. since in fallen order he was 13 when order 66 happened #the jedi sending out literal children into war like 'yeah this is fine' #star wars #incorrect quotes #incorrect star wars quotes #star wars incorrect quotes #star wars au #disaster lineage cal #disaster lineage #anakin skywalker #obi wan kenobi #cal kestis #ahsoka tano #the clone wars #jedi fallen order #jedi survivor

[incorrectskywalkers]

everyday i think about how they should've let ewan mcgregor keep his accent for obi-wan. scottish obi-wan would've been so cool

#star wars #obi wan #obi wan kenobi

[incorrectskywalkers]

Anakin: I'm the most responsible in the group. Ahsoka: You've literally just set everything on fire. Anakin: I know, and I take full responsibility for it.

#star wars #incorrect quotes #incorrect star wars quotes #star wars incorrect quotes #anakin skywalker #ahsoka tano #disaster lineage #the clone wars

[incorrectskywalkers]

guys i'm having thoughts about the disaster lineage cal au again

#this isnt really much just a little something to say 'hey! not dead“ #also i want to play jedi survivor so bad but i dont have the console for it #i have a pc but i've heard that the pc port is literally unplayable #and i'm too broke to afford a better xbox </3 #anyway i'll post some incorrect quotes tomorrow now sleep beckons me #star wars #disaster lineage cal

[incorrectskywalkers]

i miss cal kestis

#not skywalker related just thought i'd share this also hi im alive just very hyperfixated on other stuff atm <3 #star wars #cal kestis

[incorrectskywalkers]

mm one thing that kinda fucks me up about the disaster lineage cal au is the fact that post order 66 - cal believed both obi-wan and anakin to be dead, not knowing that years later he'd face his lineage brother in the inquisitorius and almost be killed...

then i also imagine what would happen if he saw his master again after all that time. maybe post jedi survivor, they catch up, cal tells obi-wan everything that happened - including his brief duel with vader and he brings up how he struggled with the dark side after he lost cere and was betrayed by someone he thought was a friend (bode), that he almost gave in completely and obi-wan breaks, saying he should've been there, he almost lost another padawan to the dark and he wasn't even there and

and cal just looks at him, confused beyond anything else because—

what do you mean another?

#im a little insane about this au sorry fellas #star wars #star wars au #disaster lineage cal #disaster lineage #cal kestis #jedi fallen order #jedi survivor #obi wan kenobi #anakin skywalker #darth vader #also we dont talk enough about how cal used the dark side in survior #personally i think we should i think he should get to indulge in going a little feral

[incorrectskywalkers]

i've been thinking a lot about this post again so here's a handful of incorrect quotes based on this au because i'm back on my cal kestis bullshit may possibly do more

~~~

Anakin: Guess what?

Obi-Wan: What, Anakin?

Anakin: No, you have to guess.

Obi-Wan. wary: I don't know.

Anakin: Cal's in the medbay.

Obi-Wan: Why would you make me guess that?! What happened?!

~~~

Obi-Wan: Cal got into a fight today.

Anakin: Oh. That’s... bad.

Anakin:

Anakin: Did he win?

~~~

Anakin: Cal, what do you have?

Cal: A KNIFE!

Anakin: Okay, have fu-

Obi-Wan: NO!

~~~

Obi-Wan, in a meeting: My policy is if you see something, say something.

Cal: I saw someone fall out a tree today!

Obi-Wan, with the tone of someone who is used to Cal: Outstanding.

Anakin, standing beside Cal, covered in dirt and leaves:

Obi-Wan: This is what I'm talking about people.

~~~

Cal, rolling down the window: What seems to be the problem, officer?

Anakin: Get the KRIFF out of my speeder.

~~~

Anakin, pointing at Cal: That child is morally grey at best.

#obi wan. anakin and cal are the most chaotic brothers ever #they share one collective braincell (obi wan always has the braincell) #star wars #star wars au #disaster lineage cal #incorrect quotes #incorrect star wars quotes #star wars incorrect quotes #obi wan kenobi #anakin skywalker #cal kestis #jedi fallen order #jedi survivor #disaster lineage #source: incorrect quotes generator #and also a couple from other quotes i saw on tumblr

[incorrectskywalkers]

padawan obi-wan was for SURE a cocky little shit. he had sass that could rival anakin's and anger issues to go along with it. he was THE problem child before anakin came along.

no student of qui-gon's would be sensible or collected, nah obi-wan only became like that because of ✨trauma✨ and also his little shit of a brother anakin giving him multiple gray hairs before he was thirty </3

#not a quote #star wars #obi wan #obi wan kenobi #anakin skywalker #qui gon jinn #padawan obi wan #disaster lineage

[incorrectskywalkers]

[anakin, ahsoka and some clones are stood before a burning building after a mission went terribly]

Anakin: ...Anyone else have the weird urge to lecture themselves?

Anakin, imitating Obi-Wan: "Anakin, what are you doing?"

Obi-Wan, appearing from behind them: Anakin, what are you doing?

Anakin: I conjured him.

#star wars #incorrect quotes #incorrect star wars quotes #star wars incorrect quotes #anakin skywalker #obi wan kenobi #ahsoka tano #the clone wars #disaster lineage #source: brooklyn nine nine #aka my comfort show i watch perhaps a little too much

[incorrectskywalkers]

Obi-Wan, sighing: Force give me patience.

Ahsoka: I thought it was "Force give me strength"?

Obi-Wan: For most people. But you see, if the Force didn't give me the amount of patience I require, everyone on this ship would be dead.

Anakin (aka "Everyone"):

#star wars #sw #obi wan kenobi #obi wan #ahsoka tano #anakin skywalker #the clone wars #disaster lineage #incorrect quotes #incorrect star wars quotes #star wars incorrect quotes #obi wan should've gone apeshit at some point it would've been funny also he deserves it