irregular-x

[irregular-x]

When I Was An Astronaut

I remember a time

Where i gazed at that great sky

Pointing my finger in that deep blue white

Trying to find shapes

Where Animals that fly,

Cars that float so high,

Sailing with great space ships.

Sitting down on coloured chalk

Resembling a ship for my journey

Soda caps that turn the knobs

And sticks that made me climb.

That was when I was an astronaut.

Preparing for that long travel

Aging along with time and abuse.

Growing up, looking back.

I'm jealous of the things I once had.

Yet among the sparkled pink and blue

Within the gold flakes I feel nothing but hate.

Floating in endless space

alone. 

I remember the day, I busted my head open, while i was sleeping

Beside a restless mom, she's weeping, I wanted to end it that day, 

Oh how I was so young, that the pillow turned red.

Mom woke up in a mess.

The baby, beside, only age 8

Hit themselves on the head with such force to meet one's end.

I woke up, in a daze, that night, the haze, the smell of blood

Newborn-drug. The lust of wanting death at that age.

How some can relate.

Yet, even now, I’m still alive. 

Still lusting for suicide, I cant 

Don't want, but need

The chance to be free.

The feeling i hold so close, the anger,

Sadness, oh how it made me rot.

The mental illness,

The perpetual conductivenes 

Like metal it burned, sparked within me

The hate of oneself. 

 self-loathing

If i had the chance, I would

Change the past many would

Yet the one who wronged me

The one who shattered my sanity

I have my reasons, but don't question

Let me live my last rebellion,

Against my inner self 

How I ran many times, to suppress that evil.

That grew when I was an astronaut.

Cuts You Up

I put my hands up, letting my white flag fall on the battle field while I looked upon my comrades, searching their wounded eyes.

Too much changed and you kept quiet analyzing then and now, when you should have stuck with goodbye. Don't look back, or say you tried; if there was a question it could have been answered before the blade went into my side.

#spilled ink #poetry #short story #my poem #original poem #depression

[irregular-x]

The last time of song

Reminds 

The wind of you

That, that changed

My love for life.

As you enter like ego

While sarcasm screams

My reality dies.

That last time of song

Where you stood

At the edge of time

On that park

On that hill

Beautiful white 

Beautiful eyes

That scream horrors

I can't contemplate

But i'm not that creep

Who used and betrayed you

As you enter like ego

While sarcasm screams

My reality dies.

my heart renders itself 

onto oblivion.

I miss the sound that you held

In the depths of your chest

The quiet breathing

in the calm of the night

When the light of the stars

Fell gently across you

And the moon dipped down to kiss

The twinkling lips of Venus

I miss the swish of your arms

pine branches reaching

To encircle me in comfort

A shadowed embrace

And I miss your soft sighs

Your closed eyed smiles

As you drifted off to sleep

And you dragged me into your peace

I miss the sound of you

[irregular-x]

Holding your hands, loving you

Telling me sweet little lies

Knowing that i have you

In my arms, so tight

Looking at them summer set eyes

Looking at them summer set eyes

I will find you beneath 

Golden rich farms

Smelling like Apple coriander goodbyes

I touch your skin,  like lavender sin

Looking at them summer set eyes

Your lips, cotton candy bliss

Water me with diabetic lies

Watching my every move

When I follow your hips

Dancing to a sweet water kiss

In ever-lasting time

Irregular.x

i had always dreamed of a great love

read it in books, saw it in movies, heard it in songs

when i met you, i knew you were my great love. but i was young, i thought i knew of the world, when i so obviously didn't.

so i didn't appreciate that love and didn't hold onto it as tightly as i should've. i should've treated it better, treated you better.

i pray you find me again, i pray we find each other again

but i pray that when our paths cross again i'll be a little bit older, and a far lot wiser than i once was

so i may finally make it right between us. so i may love you the way i always should have. the way you always deserved to be loved.

- dahlia

[irregular-x]

The last time of song

Reminds 

The wind of you

That, that changed

My love for life.

As you enter like ego

While sarcasm screams

My reality dies.

That last time of song

Where you stood

At the edge of time

On that park

On that hill

Beautiful white 

Beautiful eyes

That scream horrors

I can't contemplate

But i'm not that creep

Who used and betrayed you

As you enter like ego

While sarcasm screams

My reality dies.

my heart renders itself 

onto oblivion.

I miss the sound that you held

In the depths of your chest

The quiet breathing

in the calm of the night

When the light of the stars

Fell gently across you

And the moon dipped down to kiss

The twinkling lips of Venus

I miss the swish of your arms

pine branches reaching

To encircle me in comfort

A shadowed embrace

And I miss your soft sighs

Your closed eyed smiles

As you drifted off to sleep

And you dragged me into your peace

I miss the sound of you

[irregular-x]

Sometimes the bumble bee can be itself and harvest honey,

go home at the end of the day and spend time with its family.

not in a hive but in a home. where they are loved by the same people

who love them for who they are.

and that's its hive. People who want to work together for a greater cause.

Long live the bumble bee.

Then you realize things like

Backyard grass makes for

Perfect picnics and the

Bumblebees can be

The best of friends

& the mockingbird

Is a mixtape

Of your favorite songs

The lilac lingers with

Potent purple perfume

& she will remember

Even if you forget

[irregular-x]

I Coined the Term One Berilion

Irregular.x

#ai math #math nerds #mathematics #math

[irregular-x]

I Coined The Term One Lemilion

Irregular.x

#ai math #math nerds #mathematics #math #anonymous

[irregular-x]

I Coined The Term One Gorilion

Irregular.x

#mathematics #ai math #Math nerds #nerds #math #anonymous

[irregular-x]

I Coined The Term One Quintillion

Irregular.x

#mathematics #Ai math #anonymous

[irregular-x]

some souls are like flowers

delicate. delightful, devious.

motherfucking flowers

yet even these flowers, are dangerous in nature

are only there to stare at

and even make poisons.

That's why flowers are so beautiful

they are always so hard to understand.

i think deciding to love someone continually is like reading the same book again, but each time finding a different line that hits deep and makes you think about something you didn't realize before. and you decide to read it again and again, knowing you'll never get enough of it, knowing you'll always find something new about them to love.

#spilled ink #poems #poetry #daily poem #new poet #new poets corner #new poets society #poetic #canadian

[irregular-x]

Then you realize things like

Backyard grass makes for

Perfect picnics and the

Bumblebees can be

The best of friends

& the mockingbird

Is a mixtape

Of your favorite songs

The lilac lingers with

Potent purple perfume

& she will remember

Even if you forget

[irregular-x]

Beautiful. true love does haunt the soul.

sometimes it haunts me at night

yet, true love does not wait

it runs like a lion.

She stood there waiting

Scanning

Anticipating

Her hands shaking

And like so many times before

There was nothing

No friendly faces

No one at all

Except this time, something inside of her broke

Something that felt beyond repair

A path with only dead air

You asked me once, how someone becomes haunted

This is how

[irregular-x]

these raindrops are like gems as they kiss your skin, making my heart skip beats in this joy of spring.

[irregular-x]

I feel everything.

It’s Ok If You Forget Me

And everyone says that I should be sad

Is it normal that…

I don't feel sorry for myself

Care if your hands touch somebody else

Wouldn't get jealous if you're happy

It's okay if you forget me

I don't feel empty now that you're gone

Does that mean it didn't mean nothing at all?

But I'll tell you what the worst is

It's the way it doesn't hurt

When I wish it did

[irregular-x]

my heart on a stick

rots like a fire

burning down in the heavens above

the thoughts of the west

blow like the flowers

that bloom in the winter at dawn

I know that you're mad at me

but my love for you has not gone

I tried to explain myself to you

but the wind blew the flowers

to low.

too, too long

I have waited here for you.

I tried to explain myself to you

but you did not pick up the phone.

I tried to love every inconsistency 

Yet I did not love myself

Like a rat i scurry

Down down in heavens

Picking up the bones of my past

I gnaw the end of the stick

Hoping I'll become sick

Now i tried to explain myself

For my past mistakes

I know that it's horrible for me 

To forget about myself

My true love 

I know that your sick and broken at ease 

I know you're me inside 

yet i can't believe it with ease

Where you go wrong 

I went alone

At the end of the tunnel at bay

I know it's wrong but im not wrong

But you are my right, in a way.

I must I must

I fucking must

Love myself at the end

I havent passed 

Until you're there

Until I'm gone away

I am myself

I am myself

I am myself

Today

I love myself

I love myself

I love myself

Today…

-Irregular.X

#poems #poetry #daily poem #new poet #new poets corner #new poets society #poetic #canadian #spilled thoughts #spilled ink

[irregular-x]

Thread of Fate

Silk love that hair can not contemplate

as my beautiful hairdresser cuts my hair

i remember the summer morning

of blue berries that winter.

Oh the autumn that gave birth

that sorrowful joy of knee deep pleasure

i remember you

my inner you

as you remember me

i will come back to you

fool.

-Irregular.x

#poems #poetry #daily poem #new poet #new poets corner #new poets society #poetic #canadian #spilled ink

[irregular-x]

We are the peoples liberation

We are the workers united

We are sisters in the front

We are brothers of the collective

We are father's who protect

We are mothers who nurture

We are the peoples liberation

We are the workers united

We are anonymous

We are love

We are respect

We are family

We are justice.

You will expect us.

For I was blind and my eyes could see

But my heart could not speak

Yet the truth of my mind was not in shackles

And my destiny was in shadows

For I was the rogue in the cloak

For I was the hood in the mask

For I was the villain in the town

And I was the robber at night

Yet I spoke the truth

A truth worth to some as sin

But the truth did not yield weight

as wars made me I'll

For I am a mask and a hat

For I am a cloak and a boot

For I am armored

For I am the sword

Yet my dagger was deadly

As the poison in my heart

My mask did not yield

And my heart was true

My intentions are just

For I am one person In the crowded summer of homelessness

In a city of non-believers

A rogue must come true.

I am Anonymous.

We are Anonymous

We are legion

We do not forgive

We do not forget

expect us.

-Irregular.x

#anonymous #daily poem #new poet #poetry #poems #new poets corner #photography #new poets society #poetic #canadian #anon #spilled ink