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mxxne · 2 months

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Are We Still Friends? — CA

AUTHOR: let me know what you guys think

SUMMARY: being in the same friend group and “secretly” in love with each other is not easy to handle…

WARNINGS: pain?

taglist: @christianpulisic10 @2manytabsopen @manwalaage @malinobranie @bored-brunette2

part six

«what the— girl you did not…»

«omg spill all the details!»

You put your phone away the minute Jannik gets back from the bathroom. You smile at him as he slightly opens the curtains. The flight home is this afternoon so you can enjoy this moment for a couple more hours.

“Did you sleep well?” He asks as he comes to lay next to you again. You come to rest your head on his chest, his hand slips beneath your shirt— well his.

“Yes sir. Did you?” You ask back. He nods with a soft smile on his lips before pulling you in for a kiss. Your hair falls forward but he quickly pushes it back as his lips move against yours.

“Are you sure you are okay with me coming with you?” He asks. You nod. After last night you convinced yourself this is the right decision, the right thing to do. You like Jannik and Jannik likes you too. What could ever go wrong?

“Are your parents—“ “You do a lot of talking for someone who fell asleep at 3 in the morning.” You shush him. You don’t want to think about your life back at home, you want to live in this little bubble of yours for a little longer. The redhead chuckles and lets you cuddle against him.

You spend the rest of the morning in bed, covered by the duvet, exchanging kisses and random anecdotes. You like how his hands caress your skin, as if you are made of glass. He’s so delicate with you.

“Jannik! Thirty minutes and we have to leave!” You hear someone of his team scream from the other side of the door. You are too entranced to take notice though. His hands soothe the skin of your back gently, making you whine under the hot rays of the Australian sun.

“We have to get ready.” He warns you gently. You sigh, not ready to put an end to this fantasy. But soon enough you are standing outside the reception hall, your trolley by your side.

“I’ll see you guys in a couple days, okay?” He says his goodbyes to his team and gets on the uber right after you. The drive to the airport is quiet, filled with small talks between the driver and Jannik. You look out the window, observing Melbourne. You are going to miss this place. It has been a real adventure. If you had to describe these past weeks with one word it would be: revelation. You have discovered so many things about you and others. For example, you know you like Jannik now and you know that Carlos is not the same guy who would hold your hand when you were scared of the dark. Thinking about the Spaniard right now not only feels wrong but it makes your heart ache. You still can’t believe what he has done. After telling you he would never sleep with Maria. Guess you don’t know him as well as you think you do.

“Put the hat and glasses on.” You giggle passing him said items. Despite last night’s events, you both still agree on keeping it lowkey. You’re both very reserved people. Jannik refuses to let you pay for the ride and thanks the driver before you both head inside the airport.

“You know you are crazy for doing this, right?” You tell him. He shrugs his shoulders. He’s flying all the way to Murcia just to spend one more day with you and then he’s leaving to meet his country’s President.

“You know you do a lot of talking for someone who kept me up until 3 am,” he teases you as you make your way to the gate. You playfully roll your eyes at him. It isn’t the first time you have had sex with someone but this time it feels different. This time you can’t fuck it up. You partly feel responsible for Jannik, you would never want to hurt his feelings.

The moment you are the plane your eyes immediately close and before you know it you are fast asleep.

It is almost nine in the morning when the plane lands in Murcia. Jannik softly kisses the back of your hand, waking you up. It’s been one hell of a trip with a couple of layovers and all you want to do is go home and take a shower. You grab your things and get ready to go. Jannik isn’t supposed to be here, his whole week is full of interviews and meetings. But he thinks he can squeeze in his busy schedule a few last hours with you.

You have been thinking about the events of the previous night. You don’t regret it. But part of you can’t help but feel slightly guilty of the reason behind your actions.

“Clara is picking us up.” You let him know as you head towards the exit. Jannik nods and follows you around. You spot your friend’s red car right outside.

“I missed you!” You wrap your arms around her and pull her in a tight hug.

“Missed you too. Congratulations, Jannik. We all watched the match, you were unbelievable!” Clara congratulated the redhead who smiled and thanked her. You three put your bags in the car and hop in.

“What are your plans for today?” Clara asks as she drives out of the parking lot.

“I wanted to show him around and then go to bed early because we are kind of tired.” You explain. Jannik is flying back home tomorrow evening so you have little time left.

“You have to come to Maria’s party. It’s not even a party. It’s something small because her parents left for the weekend.” Clara says looking at you briefly. You glance at Jannik in the backseat, you don’t want to drag him somewhere he doesn’t feel comfortable in. The Italian shrugs his shoulders.

“I don’t mind it. I know most of your friends anyway and there’s Carlos too, right?” He asks to which Clara nods in reply.

“That’s perfect then! It’s around ten pm, wear something casual.”

You should have known that Maria would have invited everyone and their mother. You see people you haven’t seen since high school. Jannik keeps his fingers intertwined with yours as you make your way to your friends.

Jannik is showered with compliments and questions regarding his recent win and you make sure to stay by his side most of the time. He’s not an extroverted person and you don’t want to put him in a stressful position.

“Carlos!” You turn your head around and spot the Spaniard. He has his arm around Jorge’s neck and is laughing at something your friend has said. A simple Nike sweater covers his torso with baggy jeans. Your heart skips a beat. He still slept with your friend.

“Congrats man!” Carlos is slightly tipsy, but his words are sincere. Jannik smiles at him and they get involved in a conversation about God knows what because you leave his side. Just looking at Carlos makes your blood boil right now. You follow Sophia inside the kitchen and pour yourself a shot of tequila.

“Rough day?” She asks amused when you down the shot quickly.

“Long night.” You correct her and down another shot. If you have to sit there and pretend you don’t want to slap some sense into Carlos’ pretty and lying head you need some alcohol in your system.

“Y/N… Can I talk to you?” You hear his voice from behind and see Sophia laugh behind her cup. You put on your fakest smile and reply with a simple yet strong:

“No.” You try to leave, worrying that Jannik may be by himself in a room full of strangers but Carlos stops you by standing in the way.

“Don’t be like this, please. I need to talk to you.” He seems sincere but so did he when he told you he wasn’t attracted to Maria. You hate that it bothers you so much but you know that maybe with time every wound will heal.

“We have nothing to talk about.” You quickly rid yourself of his presence and join Jannik. He’s talking to Marco and Juan— an old classmate of yours. He seems to be enjoying himself just fine which is a relief.

“I’m going to the bathroom. Okay?” You let him know and he nods, pecking your lips quickly before you disappear again in the crowd. You wait for the girls ahead of you to leave and get inside but before you can lock the door behind you, a foreign presence makes himself in the bathroom: Carlos.

“What the-“

“We need to talk. Well, I need to talk and you can stay quiet if you don’t want to speak to me.” Carlos explains and at this point you can’t do much but listen to more of his lies. Your Carlos would never lie to you but you have learnt a long time ago that this is not your Carlos anymore.

“I didn’t sleep with Maria. I promise you.” He spits out immediately. You frown confused: does he really think you are stupid?

“She sent us a picture. Why would she do that?” You ask not convinced at all. Carlos sighs, already ashamed of his actions.

“I told her to do that. It was a stupid idea but we didn’t sleep together.” He insisted. You were even more confused. What kind of plan would that be? What was the reason?

“It makes literally no sense, Carlos. I don’t want to stay and listen to your—”

“I did it because I thought it would make you come back to me. It was stupid and pointless and I’m sorry.” He holds your wrist gently, stopping you from leaving. The air inside these four walls is thick and you can feel the same tension you felt in the cooldown room in Australia. Carlos has always been very bad at lying and the look on his face makes you believe him, but there are still things that don’t add up.

“Why? Come back to you? What–” You are trying to find a sense in his words but you’re struggling.

“Y/N, I love you.” He says directly, straight to the point, no pun intended. He looks at you in the eyes and stays quiet after his confession. You can feel your own heart pound against your ribcage. He loves you?

“Say something. Please.” He begs you. Carlos can feel his heart beating in his throat and might pass out any moment from now. He can’t believe he has just confessed his feelings to you. On the other hand, you stare at him with a blank face. You are not able to process this information. It’s as everything has stopped working inside your brain and the world has slowed down.

“I— It’s not fair what you are doing, Carlos. It’s not fair to me, to Jannik.” You feel your heart breaking a little bit as you speak. He can’t be doing this to you now. After all these years he now decides to confess. Carlos is taken aback by your words.

“You don’t get to say this to me now, Carlos. Fuck…” you want to cry. This is what you have ever wanted. But not like this, not right now, not with this timing. Carlos shakes his head in confusion.

“I don’t understand… What’s wrong?” He asks you, his hands trying to take ahold of your face and look at you in the face. You attempt to free yourself of his grip but he’s stronger and you don’t really want to push him away.

“You’re being mean. You… All this time, all I ever wanted was to be with you, Carlos. I have loved you for longer than I have known what love is. But I’m with Jannik and now you decide to tell me this. Why?” You feel tears threaten to wet your cheeks. Carlos looks at you and wants to hold you against his chest forever.

“You love me?” He asks. His face reminds you of when you were kids and you would gift him something and he’d be so surprised and grateful. Every cell of your body is drawn to him, you would drop anything just to know what it feels like to be loved by him. But you can’t be selfish.

“Y/N… Do you love me?” He asks you again, this time his hands cupping your cheek. He feels your tears wet his thumbs pressed gently against your skin. Carlos wants to scream, run a marathon, disappear. He doesn’t think he has known what a heart break feels like up until now.

“Don’t put me in this position, Charlie… Don’t make me do this to him.” You want to slap yourself for crying but you are just so exhausted. You are tired of all this built up tension, of being scared of doing the wrong thing, of hurting someone. Carlos feels his stomach drop as he realizes he’s the reason why you are crying. He only ever wants to make you smile and laugh. But he only managed to upset you lately.

“I love you so much, Y/N. I am sorry. I just can’t hide it anymore. Lo siento mucho, cariño.” He pulls you in for a hug and you instinctively hold him tight. You stay there, wrapped in his arms and standing like two idiots. Two idiots who have been chasing each other their whole life but managed to finally meet at the wrong time.

“Carlos…” you call for him after a couple minutes have passed. He hums in reply.

“I love you too…” you admit because you both need to hear it out loud. His heart for a second heals and he forgets about all the times it was hurt. His lips curve into a smile as he looks down at you, still wrapped in his arms. His scent makes you feel at home and you never want to leave this embrace.

“But I can’t do this to Jannik.”

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